Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 835 - Charlie Demers

Episode Date: March 19, 2024

Comedian Charlie Demers returns to talk speakeasies, “We Are the World,” and Tenet. Plus, it’s week 1 of MaxFunDrive 2024. Support the show at maximumfun.org/join.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 835 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's as excited as I am about this first week of Max Fun Drive, Mr. Dave Schumke. That's right.

Max Fun Drive, the time of year when we ask you guys to open up those wallets, dig deep and- Your bill folds. Yeah and your bill folds. Yeah. Your bill folds, your pocket books. Yeah. Um, your, uh, money clips. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those dollar sign bags. Yeah. Or just a roll. Just your roll. Yeah.

Yeah. Just a roll. Your wad. Big, big, um, notes on the outside, smaller notes on the inside. Is that what you do? Or let people know, I've got $20, maybe more than $20. But then aren't you attracting bad kind of attention?

You wanna put small notes on the outside. I guess it's a bit. IOUs. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's a boastful thing, maybe. I don't know. I've never had one. Anyway, briefcase full of cash. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's a boastful thing maybe. I don't know. I've never had one. Anyway, briefcase full of cash. And this is the time of year we like to bring out our favorite guests. We like to show you what we're made of.

And... Yeah, we're here to be your lover, man. And we can't wait to show off all the stuff we've been doing. But our show and all shows on Maximum Fun are very proud to be supported by our listeners. And it's two weeks a year where we ask you to head over to MaximumFun.org slash join and support the show. There's a bunch of prizes or gifts that we can talk about later on the show. And you can decide what shows your money you want your money to go to. And we can talk all about that later. Yeah, let's just get on with it. Our guest today, one of our all time favorites, the oh so funny comedian, writer, producer.

You produced one of Faith Hill's albums right it's Charlie DeMare everybody hey it was really hard to sit sit on the sidelines during that money money ball I was so disappointed when money ball was not about baseball and math. Yeah. Just like, uh, like a brash Italian guy paying contractors and cash. Really use wad into, I think like a wad of cash and then like a wad. Yeah. And both of them are things you can blow pretty quick. If you're me at a candy store, you're going to blow your wad pretty quick if you're me. If you're me at a candy store, you're gonna blow your

wad pretty quick. What do you keep your money in boys? I don't carry any on me anymore. But what do you have? Oh I have just cards. I have this guy. You have a little guy. What do you got? Just Bitcoin. All Bitcoin. Oh shit, yeah, I forgot. I'm on an all Bitcoin diet. What is your favorite? Is it Dogecoin or is it? Yeah, I'm non-fungible. See, this is now where we're like, do I even have enough knowledge to make a joke?

Yeah. Answer, zero. Zero knowledge. I have a very old fashioned wallet. Yeah. Um, you crank it. It's got very outdated views about gender. No, it's a, I just have an old wallet.

It's not even like your guys. This is quite your, they're both just card hold and they're just one side. Oh, is that what that's called? A card holder? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but you've got a little cash. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. But you've got a little cash peeking out. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jauntily peeking out. Yeah, well, you know, yeah. It's a case, you got a little bakery up this street they don't take. Mm, yes, yeah. I mean, at this point of business that doesn't take anything but cash may as well just openly have criminals in fedoras.

Are you saying that the Hells Angels as an organization who I pay bi-weekly for protection criminals and fedora are you saying that the hells angels as an organization Who I pay biweekly for protection and they're like, hey, yeah, we got tap we run tap When you kill us our protection money, you know so many different ways Wallets are weirdly gendered very much like I Started walking around with my louis Vuitton clutch. People are like, Hey man, get out of here. Hey man. Yeah.

Uh, and, and, and, and yet it's called the wallette. Yeah. It's very, very cute. Do we want to get to know us? Yes. Just like Comedienne. That I was watching some old episodes of Evening at the Improv and they still brought out Comedienne. Oh yeah.

We should have Canadians for women Canadians. Women Canadians? No, Canadians. We're all in French we do. Yeah, what do we got? Andrew Martin? Sure, yeah French we do. Yeah, what do we got? Andrew Martin? Sure, yeah. Jenny Jones.

She's both a comedian and a Canadian. Yes, she's a double threat. Those are the two I can remember. I'm glad that we're doing comedians and Canadians, because I feel like we should have been all able to find female Canadians easier than, well who else? Those are too bad. There's gotta be, there's gotta be more.

I mean, Catherine O'Hara. Oh damn it, another comedian. Yeah. I was wondering on my way over here, I think this is our first, is this our first three husband strong? Yeah, United Front now. Yeah.

Yeah, hey, all right. Be interesting to see if it affects to not have my kind of quiet pity and contempt. Sure, yeah. To your life of sin. Have you ever been to a wedding that has this kind of like, oh, the old, you know, life's over now, game over pal. You know, wall and chains.

My, I had an in-law, guess one of Abby's aunts or uncles gave me a T-shirt that said game over. And it was like, it was, it had like a game controller on it and like a bride. I forget what it, but it and like a bride. I forget what it was like. You don't know me at all.

He told me at all. He don't know your niece. Like it's just, this is strange. And people who will still do that. If you tell them having a baby, you tell them you get married, they go, Oh, my condolences, pal. I know I, I hate my family. Just can't stand them. Also, it is 1923 still, right?

We don't have any choices. We were forced into this. Yeah. And you have to marry your enemy. You can't even like your spouse. And for you, life is a game of just promiscuous sex and video games. Those are the two bigs. It's so, they go together so well.

Promiscuous sex and video games. I don't play any video games whatsoever. Do you? No, none. None. you you play like a FIFA I'll play an NHL. I buy it every year. Although I did take three or four years off from buying NHL I bought it this year and I've played it three times. Okay, so that's not bad It's a pretty major thing to not have I so I had to check out a video game culture once it became 3d because, and here's the

part where I check in beneath video game boys on the masculinity scale. Once they were 360 degrees, they started to make me motion sick. And so I was like, well, I'm no longer enjoying this at all and it's a major part of culture Oh, yeah to not have any kind of Connection with it's like going. Oh, I'm not I don't do the internet like yeah video games are it's like It's as big as movies. Yeah, I think it's bigger than when they made us with the Sonic the Hedgehog movie You must have been like now. What is this based on a novel? Based on a hedgehog. Hey, wait, this is 362 I can't

This is based on push by Sapphire Yeah, I'll watch this if it's all lateral movement Horizontal yeah, I like it when the bad guys come from the... from stage left. No, I... and I... in some ways I feel like I'm not preparing my daughter, or now son, although he's not quite at video game boy right? He just has a little game boy, right? Yeah. as a little game boy, right? Game and age, yeah. But the only video games I've ever played with Josephine are Sonic 2 and like Tetris and a bit of like Super Mario Brothers, like NES to Sega Genesis.

When is she gonna learn about Leisure Suit Larry? Yeah. You're sending her out into this land of all lounge lizards. Yeah. And for anybody out there that has never heard of Leisure Suit Larry, it is a computer game that was very horny. Does that sum it up? It was made by Sierra Games, the makers of Police Quest and King's Quest, and it was

basically Sex Quest. Nice. Why didn't they just call it that? Sex Quest. That's what your t-shirt should have said. Sex Quest overworked. Yeah, that's what your t-shirt should have said sex quest over work. Victor Alias, Larry with a gun in his mouth. Yeah, why did it go that extreme? On the cake, there's two little figures and one has a gun pointed at the other one.

Yeah, that's why they call it a shotgun wedding. Oh, man. Yeah. I feel the same way. I feel like, uh, anytime I play a video game, I'm absolutely dead within, uh, you know, one, one corner turn I'm dead. Don't know how to access any of the things that I have in my, what kind of things do you have, like a gun or wheat. Wheat. Yeah.

Wheat, soil, water. Is wheat or his arrows or whatever you have in the bar at the bottom of the screen. Yeah, exactly. What my children enjoy, this Animal Crossing game. Oh yeah. Which is, it's mildly three- dimensional and then they love Minecraft, which is, I can't wrap my mind around that. That's the way you build things, right?

Minecraft, like it's blocking. I mean, everything you build things in. Well, what is this, Minecraft and then, what's the other one that's like super, super popular? Fortnite. Yeah. Minecraft is the, that's the German one about the macaroni and cheese.

That's the one it like, it deliberately looks pixelated. Yeah. Yeah. Not by accident. No. As soon as they rushed it out at the last minute. Yeah. No, my, I had to learn about, this is such a weird thing,

and it never went anywhere, but I got brought into a writer's, I don't even know if I'm supposed to talk about this. I mean, it was many years ago, so it can't still be a live thing. Anyway, they were making, they were gonna make a cartoon of Minecraft. Oh, okay. And I was somehow brought into like the writer's room of

the brains, one of the brainstorming sessions. So that's because of your work in dialogue on Mortal Kombat. Yeah, I was get over here, that was me. Finish, well I said finish it and then somebody punched that up to finish him. I thought, which I always thought was too gendered. Finish them is what I wanted. Finish they them. Yeah.

Because what about the future? But I literally was not allowed to play Mortal Kombat. I can see that. In grade eight. That's how long my dad who on any kind of like, so my drugs talk was, hey, you understand there's a big difference between grass, which is natural and like chemicals like cocaine, right?

Like that was my, and like sex is like, do you need me to buy you condoms? And then I was not allowed to play Mortal Kombat as a double digits. No, I do think it's good, but it's strange. The culturally, the fact that PG-13 movies can't have two F words in them, but you can see people get killed. Yeah. Yeah.

It's very messed up. But, so we, I had to get someone to teach me Minecraft before going into this meeting. Okay, before having kids. Yeah, before I had kids. So that's what I'm saying. I was never interested in sex, because it was right there.

I only wanted to learn about mortal combat, illicitly. But they showed me Minecraft, and I was like, well, first of all, what would the story anyway? But I just didn't understand. So like what you carry box, is that the hound of the Baskervilles? Anyway, it was a very odd experience, but Josephine did VR Minecraft at one of her birthdays. Oh, shit. And I just thought, I don't, this is completely beyond my ken.

I do not understand. But that's like the, you know, you always think like the culture of divide between your parents and you. Oh. And you're like, I'm like, it's going to be more severe that kids are growing up with the possibility of virtual reality, like actually working. And, you know, us who like, we used to have to bring a calculator.

We had a big thing that just was a calculator and didn't have any other function. Well, like they talk about how like retirement homes, you know, like back in the day when our grandparents were old people, it would be like, you know, just like they would all sit around and watch one screen that had Jeopardy on it or whatever. And now it'll be, I mean, I guess no one will be able to retire anyway. There's no such thing as a retirement home in the future. But.

People just go, whoo, imagine that. Imagine how nice that would be. Sitting around in a big stinky room, full of ammonia, watching kids from the elementary school sing Christmas carols. Yeah. But anyway, I'm going to go deliver food for my 100th birthday. I wouldn't call it a door dash exactly. It's a door straw. Look, I may break my hip falling off that little scooter I'm riding.

Yeah, it's a yeah, exactly. The thing about kids coming over saying Christmas carols, is there anybody that is there any age bracket that's like this is good? I like this. Somebody must have said so once, but I just remember. Somebody with dementia. Yeah, they didn't seem to like it. And for us, it was almost like a scared straight program. Don't age. Don't age.

Scared young. I was delighted that children still say that Batman smells. Yes, yeah, yeah, that's very consistent. Mm-hmm. Yeah. There's still debate about whether Joker got away or took ballet. In my neighborhood, he got away, but- That's true.

Were you a ballet or got away? Oh, we would change it up on the daily. I mean, it was just he got away. He took ballet. I mean, there was just those two. It was there. What was one of the ones that changed? She because Josephine was saying one where I was like, No, that's not how that starts. And then then when she's like, What do you mean? How do you even know about that? And you're like, no, we used to say that. And like, by what means was that transmitted just from grade two class to grade two class for 40 years. But it's pretty amazing. I saw a kid at the park that was saying, Nana, Nana, boo boo.

I was like, I was like that still? We're still using that. That feels like it would have gone, fallen by the wayside with like influxes of different cultural like strengths. Like, hey, I realize when you were saying Nana Nana Boo Boo, that was all you had access to, but we live in a global economy now. I realize when you were saying nanananabubu, that was all you had access to, but.

We live in a global economy now. We got Riz. Yeah. Yeah. Well, your generation didn't know anything about Riz. I bought a box of Rice Krispies Off-Brand, and they were, they was called Riz. It just said Riz on the other side of it.

I was like, that's cool. I don't know why anybody hasn't picked up on this, but. Well, that is French for rice. So you may have just been looking at the long side of it. I was like, that's cool. I don't know why anybody hasn't picked up on this, but. Well, that is French for rice. So you may have just been looking at the other side of the bar. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I was like, well, this could be a fun, you know, marketing boost for you guys. That's true. Yeah. Selling cereal to the Gen Z's. I don't know. Yeah. Riz.

But are Gen Z's even the youngest anymore? Alpha. Alpha. Alpha. And how old are they? They're, uh, I think after 2012. Born after 2012. Yeah. Oh, so our kids are Alpha. Alpha. And how old are they? They're, uh, I think after 2012. Born after 2012. Yeah. Oh, so our kids are alpha. Yeah. Wow. Well, my kids aren't. My kids are betas. If they're anything like their old man. I raised them that way. Josephine. She'd V-shaped torso, kicking sand in nerds' faces at the beach.

Both my kids are named Chad. Yeah. We'll see what happens with the baby. Yeah. And he'll be, he's same generation, right? It's a big window. Yeah. We got it.

It's nine years. They both had, she turned 10 and he turned one in the same month. Oh, shit. Yep. We used, uh, the one candle from her cake. Which I feel like when he finds that out one day, Dad, you owe me. Yeah.

He could be really pissed off. Yeah. Completely. Yeah. He could be really pissed off. Yeah, completely. For Josephine, is there, do kids birthday parties go beyond a certain age or is it still like 10 years old that's still inviting friends over? I feel like a pandemic reset all the birthday party rules. Like, cause kids are still getting makeup. Uh, not exactly, not like makeup, birthday parties exactly. But it's like, so she had, she, she had her birthday party this year.

They went skating and then we took them out for pizza and it was like, we took them on a like Disney cruise in terms of the level of enthusiasm. She was just talking and she was like, I think that was my favorite birthday party. And then I was like, thinking about it and I didn't say anything. I was like, you've had two, really, that weren't on Zoom. Like, cause she's not only like COVID kid, but her birthday is January 3rd. So she's right in like respiratory illness. Like, so like one year when it was legal to have a party, she was sick.

Like, anyway, it's pretty messed up. Yeah. And my kids had a lot of illegal parties. We had a lot of like raves in warehouses. We figured they were old enough to get rolling and then what not. You knock on the door and the speakeasy guy moves the little eye slide. This is like a password. Joker took ballet.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. He got away. Na na na na na. Boo boo. Wrong, wrong. He got away. Na na na na na. Boo boo. I've never been to a club that has the little. No, it's true. I think those are probably just in movies, right?

Well now that they have closed circuit technology, very few guys feel the need to slide open the eye slot. But you would think, you know, everything comes back. People wanna do, you know, the whole like Portlandia, brine your own pickles. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a bouncer with a, you know, a handlebar mustache. You'd think somebody would have done like a-

It's very tactile, very ASMR. The slide back and forth. Yeah, yeah. There's a place in town, have you, either slide back and forth. Yeah, yeah. There's a place in town, have you, either of you guys heard of Gorgomish? He's the one who's always trying to get six Smurfs, right? The one and the same. He's always got some pot boiling with something.

No. There's a place downtown that's like, it's very unassuming. It has the name Gorgomish on the site. Apparently it only opens at three in the morning and it's like totally exclusive. Like if you're, if you're a square, no, you have to be in like full gothy kind of, oh, cool. And they don't sell booze, but I think a lot of people there do drugs.

Oh yeah. Yeah. So they, wow, if you're goth and you just like wake up at two in the morning and you start getting ready to go out. Yeah, because that's the natural state. Yeah. They wait until the sun goes down. So Gorgamesh is an exclusive goth hangout?

I think like anything in that genre of like dressing up, like you could just be a person with, you know, ordinary. So it's kind of a scream easy. Yeah. I don't know. Do you got scream? What could it is got to do instead of speak? And what is it like for, like for God, if not easy,

screams, Gary, speaks Gary. I forgot, if not easy. Scream scary? Speak scary. Speak scary. It's a It's a speak spooky. It's a speak spooky. It's a spooky. There we go. And then once this thing's edited,

I mean, spooky will be the first thing anybody says. And those Max, bitcoins will just come and tumble them down. Uh, yeah, anyways, this is weird bar. And it's the only reason I know is cause I was talking, I caught a cab. Yeah, there's a bit of a low key brag in there. Cause it was like, if you're square, you don't know about this place.

I'm telling you. I saw the name and then I asked the cab driver and he's like, I bring people here all the time, it's like some weird ravy underground bizarre culture. I can't wait to go. Gorgomish. Gorgomish. Yeah. Gorgomish.

Gorgomish. Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh. Yeah. Giongamesh. We were going to bleep it a couple weeks ago. We didn't. No, we didn't. He was on the show.

Our heart up for guests. Oh, God. He's a monster. He's eating a humble pie now. And do you know he was the king of Spaniel? A lot of people don't know. Yeah, I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. He's eating a humble pie now. And do you know he was the king of Spain? A lot of people don't know.

Yeah, well, I like, do you guys have that album when you were younger? Bargenville by Moxie Fruvis? Yes. Charlie? I didn't have the album, but I remember the, that stuck in the 90s. Is that the? That was one of them. Is that the? That was one of them.

That was the monster crew of us. Yeah. Yeah. Because that was kind of a, like a little socialist song. Right. Yeah. And your dad taught it to you along with condoms and drugs. Yeah.

Yeah. And you as an aspiring writer, you thought maybe one day you'd be in My Baby Loves a Bunch of Auth authors 2.0 That's the video game that kids are excited about Yeah You I remember you for our American listeners moxie fruvis was a Boy a door door cast busky band. Yeah, yeah, because weren't they a novelty band? They were like right on the cusp. Yeah, I think busker someday.

Busk rock. Like that's really good. Dork folk. Dork folk. What else we got in there? We got the Moffats. They were... No, dork folk.

I did write a piece for CBC Music about dork folk. Oh, really? It included Bare Naked Ladies and Crash Test Dummies. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But see, I would consider both Bare-Naked Ladies and Crash Test Dummies to be like legitimate bands. Yeah.

In a way that I would not extend even pre-Revelations I guess it was more, the vibe was just like the busking, the- Dragon sticks. The dragon sticks. Slacklining. The shorts on stage with like Doc Marten boots. Yeah. Yeah.

There's, if you go on a cameo, you can get a cameo from one of the members of Rock-a-Pella. Oh wow. Yeah, and he wears a fedora. So it looks, I think he wears a red fedora. And it is the main guy. I've looked into it. I mean, aside from cameo,

where in the world are you gonna find that? But it's like, it's ruined red fedoras for women for all time. Well, she ruined red fedoras. From your head down to your toes. It was such a strange, because they did kind of a gritty Carmen Sandiego reboot animated. Oh really?

Yeah, like for our kids. And then- Who loved it. Yeah, well, I mean, Josephine did watch it, but then like the, and, I mean, Josephine did watch it, but then, like, the... And if I'm remembering correctly, it was, like, semi-interactive, and if you successfully completed the thing, the payoff was, you got to hear the old Rockefeller song.

That's payoff enough for me. Yeah, so it's like, is the kids supposed to go get their parents and bring them back? Yeah. So they're like, hey mom, there's a reward for you. This is what you like. Yeah, having finished school. Mom, you're going to miss the part where she put the miss in Mr. Me, you know, when she stole the beans from Lima. When you guys watch that show, and anybody that doesn't know know it was a geography based game show. Yeah for kids

Did you ever get any of the countries like when they were running around like sticks? Yeah, I was good at it Oh you were yeah, I was terrible at it. I was terrible. I knew I knew China. Yeah, North America. I knew England I knew Iceland I knew Greenland And did you only know Iceland and Greenland because of the mnemonic of like yeah there They should each be the other. Yes. Yeah. Yeah Iceland will tell you that but they got ice Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they got their green but they got ice too Were you any good I can't even remember watching it as something that I

Participated in I remember watching it as something that I participated in. I remember watching it as entertainment. Yeah. I watched the show for sure. You would need to loot the warrant and the crook. That's right. Oh, yeah. And the crooks were like Dick Tracy-esque.

Yeah, they were weird. Yeah, cartoon. Very Dick Tracy-esque. Yeah. And then the lady, what was her role? Was she the commissioner? Oh, what was she? She was, she called people gumshoes.

Was she the chief? Yeah, she was the chief. And she was in, I think it was Bob Roberts. Yeah, Lynn Thigpen. Is that her name? Yeah. She really is. But it was like, I remember it like, cause she's very good.

And then seeing her in something where it's like, this is just a serious or like semi comic, but like a, like a serious movie for grownups that has nothing to do with Carmen San Diego. And you're not supposed to be thinking of her like holding a magnifying glass over various parts of her face like while you're watching this. Isn't it like Rockefeller was in like Rocky III? Exactly, exactly. Singing around the flaming trash can.

Yeah, I think at one point she even kind of cries in Bob Roberts and it's like wow, this is a sign, just sing him to. It was very intense. Yeah. I guess there's those actors that just can't, they can't walk away from the role. I think it's like, if you see something, especially something to start, but as a kid in particular, they just get locked in. Oh yeah.

As like, this is the, the, this is who this is. Yeah. Forever. Not that I always thought of this with Lou Albano, but like that I was watching. Please sir, he's a captain. Yeah, that's right. He's, they've put those old

Super Mario Brothers episodes up on Prime. Oh yeah, yeah. And it's like. Oh, those are so cheap. those old Super Mario Brothers episodes up on Prime. Oh, yeah, yeah. And it's like- Oh, those are so cheap. It is absolutely, it's like now we live in an era of like, okay, there's this IP, it's saturated society. So we have to put a billion dollars into our one shot at like making the tent pole film

of the universe out of it. And that is toxic and horrible. And then at the other absolute extreme was where we grew up which was, hey, this thing's popular, here's 40 bucks, get something out by next week. And it is mind blowing that show. Have you seen the Mario movie that's with John Leguizano and Paul Hoskins? Not since it came out.

I never saw it, but like it's has nothing to do with them at all. Nothing. And they, they can only fly using like magical boots. It could have been demolition, man. It looks nothing like the world. Like there's no. Dennis Hopper is just, he's King Koopa. King Koopa just in a, it's Dennis Hopper in a trench coat or whatever.

He's got slightly scaly hair, I think. Like his hair is slicked back. A pretty take. When did King Koopa become Bowser? I feel like we really sound like three old men in this episode. I've heard a lot already. We're the Irishmen of the podcast. We can de-age us in both.

But when did King Koopa become Bowser? I don't know. And did Princess Toadstool become Peach at the same time? That's my follow-up. I never had a Nintendo, so I didn't know these. I knew, like, I never, like, if I played it on my friends' Nintendo, I never got far enough

to meet King Koopa. Were you Sega Boy, like what? Oh, I was a Sega Boy all the way. But even then, it was like, I didn't like that kind of game. I only liked sports games. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Ah, was Crash Bandicoot, was that Sega? I know that the Sonic the Hedgehog was. Crash Bandicoot might have been PlayStation. Is there was there a dolphin game? Echo the Dolphin. With the great most depressing music, like the soundtrack of we got one of those little like Genesis and it's got 30 of the games. And I was playing some with Josephine and the music ups. I was like look

it's this and you're a dolphin and you swim around like built for like um She was probably like five at the time Yeah, like you're you can be a dolphin and she found the music so upsetting that we had to turn it off. Hmm. It is outrageous Really? It is so strange. Well, and the lyrics are really sad, too. It's all about recidivism. Yeah. Yeah.

And, you know, getting hunted in different parts of the world. And oh, I hope that tuna was good for you, for you, little girl. When you were a kid, did you have a friend that was like only friends because they had video game set up? It was less. I did, for sure.

It was more like you'd only be friends with someone because of geographic proximity. Right. Yeah. And then sometimes there'd be the added element. You were so bad at geography there. Exactly. I was in Lima, I had no idea where to get. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I'm only trying to say, P'Riff. No, cause I remember friends like, being like, Hey, I got whatever video game, and then going over and watching them play it and not getting a turn. Yeah. Yeah. That's my most vivid. But now, a kid can just go on YouTube and do that. You don't have to go over to a friend's house.

You can just watch video games being played all over the world with all sorts of different sound tracks. From Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe, Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back. Pretty good. I mean, there is no Czechoslovakia and back. Pretty good. I mean, there is no Czechoslovakia. Where's that song from? Where's that from? Charlie, it's so nice to have you back. It's nice to be here.

I think this is the, the, maybe was it this time last year when we did the, uh, max fun drive episode we had Charlie on and it was our first in studio episodes. I was going to ask about that. Yeah. Yeah. It sort of reopened the gates. More or less. Right.

Yeah. And you've both had COVID ever since. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I just got my first COVID after. Yeah. Oh really?

Yeah. That was your first? Yeah. Wow. How many COVIDs you had? I've had it twice. Yeah Yeah, I've only had it once Amateur our and we had got her by the same time, right? Yeah

from the same lollipop They didn't say anything about sharing a lollipop That was an That was never specified. I did get things wrong I was like, okay, you got a suck on it for 30 seconds. Sing the alphabet song and give it to your friend. I don't remember that is that was that the official? Well, no, it was washing your hands was the oh, yes. Sorry I thought that there was a rule about sharing a lollipop Sometimes when I wash my hands cuz it's like you gotta sing happy birthday twice

Sometimes when I wash my hands because it's like you guys sing happy birthday twice Mm-hmm, and then that's and then sometimes you're in a rush and I'll find myself singing happy birthday faster I'm just being like you listen you idiot The whole point is the amount of time that it takes the song itself Yes, so if you're in a rush, just don't sing. Just don't wash your hands. Just don't wash. Do I do that? Like sometimes I feel like I have to do hand washing math when I'm like getting ready in the morning.

I'm like, okay, so I'm gonna, I gotta put some hair product in. I still have to pee. Yes, yes, yes. But I wash my hands definitely after I pee, but then do I need, I don't wanna, so I wanna save the pee for last, but I don't have a hair gel still on my fingers

He's the pee for last. Yeah. Yeah. I'll pee. I'll pee with product On your fingers hand. Oh, okay. Yeah But you guys lately you don't have to do any hair products. Yeah, we're sure heard man. This is pretty great How long have you been shorn? It started during the pandemic. How come you've got a nice full head of hair? I know, I do have a full head of hair and people and every now and again. So I started growing it back after this fall because of... You're doing bald face. Yes, exactly.

Exactly. A woman came up to me at a show in Montreal and she was like a very sweet woman, I would say, and kind of late middle age. She was probably maybe 15 or 20 years older than me. And she was like a fan, like a CBC fan. Yeah. And she had all these lovely things to say about the show and about the debaters and all that kind of stuff.

And then she said, and you have a full head of hair and you shave it. And she was so heartbroken when she said that part that I was like, is this irresponsible? And I stopped shaving my head for like two months afterwards. Oh really? Cause she rattled me that much. But I, and my family doesn't like it.

I've been told by everyone. But even when you didn't, we never had a long. It wasn't long. I didn't used to have kind of not emo hair, but there were times when I had kind of- Goth, more Goth. Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh, what's it called? Gorgamesh.

Gorgamesh. Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh. I was like, I had kind of messy hair kind of. And I don't know, I started shaving it during the pandemic, like I think a lot of people did. And like a lot of people started shaving my head

during the pandemic. And then I just kind of, it's, you kind of do get hooked on it. Yeah. And like of do get hooked on it. Yeah. And like Jordan Foisey has the whole thing about like how empowering it feels when you shave your head, like you just kind of, I don't know, it's. Do you do it yourself? I do it myself.

Right. And then I went to get it at a barber shop. Oh yeah. Yeah. And I like my barber. I really like my barber who I've been to once in like whatever it's been now, four years. Right. But I went to get my haircut and I was like,

you know, like, this is fine. But also I've been doing this for free in my bathroom, the second I feel like doing it for three years now. I just love going to my barbershop because there's these four singers there and they sing in perfect harmony about mostly geographical things. Do you catch a name of this band? Well, I don't know, but I know they sing about a woman who ran sick back in Stan and ran

a scam in Scandinavia. The sticky, feltered finger. Sticky,, filtered finger. He felt your finger. She's a sticky finger. Felt you're from Berlin. Don't do believe a little girl who just like ran into the skipping ropes. Let me play. It's a sticky, filtered thing.

Oh, boy, it's another stroke for old Charlie. Oh good Lord. Well, let's take a little break and talk to you, the people who are listening, about Max Fun Drive. Hi, it's Max Fun Drive folks and that means it's the time of year when we get out, we pull out all the stops. You're not gonna know this, but 50 weeks a year, we put stops in the show. Yeah, we put a ton of stops. And what you don't know, what you can't tell,

is Dave and I are both in tuxedos. The bow's already come undone. We're kind of loose, you know? It's a Jerry Lewis kind of feel. And you know how we pull out the stops? Go on. Use the pullout method Well, it's max fun drive It's the time of year where we invite you to support the show as a member or if you're already a member

We invite you to boost and upgrade your membership Your membership pays for this show. Yeah, and we like to be Independent producing the show is not part of a network that says you have to run these ads or you have to do this one or you have to, uh, you know, toe the line. We don't have to do any of that. Yeah. When make the show we want. When Kelly Clarkson sings, what happened to Miss Independent? We're like, uh, she's over here.

You're looking at her. And she's a listener to the show. And so if you like supporting what she supports, support us. God, we got to get her on the show. She's so famous. She's so famous, but she won't. She won't because she knows that we'll make her sing that song. We'll make her sing Miss Independent.

All she does is sing. Have you seen her show? She does a cover every episode. She sings more than Jimmy freaking Fallon. Man, oh man. Imagine them together doing a duet. She does a sing. Have you seen her show? She does a cover every episode. She sings more than Jimmy freaking Fallon. Man, oh man. Imagine them together doing a duet. Ugh.

Anyway, so it's this kind of stuff. Anyway, so this is the show. So this is what you're keeping independent. This is what you're keeping going. Well, basically, you know, you listen to this show, you don't hear any ads. Yeah. And the reason for that is because

we have very generous listeners who support us at maximumfund.org slash join. And when you join, you'll go to maximumfund.org slash join. You'll press on a thing. You'll tell them how much you would like to. Support us on a monthly basis. Yeah, you can do five months, five dollars a month, 10 dollars a month, et cetera.

There's bigger numbers than that, I'm sure. But and then you also will click on the shows that you listen to. Yeah. So it gets you, you get to decide where your money goes in the stream. It's not just putting in money and then who knows who gets it. It could be your, your mortal enemy. Yeah. It's not like when you go to a coffee shop

and you tip them a dollar for your coffee on the iPad and you're like, well, goodbye dollar. I don't know if the... Are they gonna get it? Does the iPad take a cut? There's a, you know. Does the owner even let them see it? Yeah, exactly.

This is, you can trace all this money. It's all traced. It's in mark bills. It's all traced. It's in mark bills But you know If you've never been a part of the Max fun family before they're a nice group. They're a good group of folks it's a lot of like I, independent shows you can support. And, you know, if you're new to the MaxFone world, you can get some stuff for the for these joining up. There's not just the not just the podcast, but there's more more.

More. The main thing you can get if you join at the $5 a month level, the main thing you can get is bonus content. And boy, you get access not only to this year's bonus content but to the full back catalog of maximum fun Bonus content I believe we make up roughly 90% of the bonus content in the library Because here's the thing if you don't know if you've only listened to the regular Podcast you don't know that we're the kings of bonus content. Everybody knows it.

And we've done a whole series of watching every episode of Mr. Bean. Yeah, we did. We do a Seinfeld game where we try to reconstruct the plots of Seinfeld based on one character's plot. It's so much fun. It's so much fun. We do our jingle episodes where people call in with their favorite local jingles. And each and every month we're bringing you the hottest topics off of the line, you know, the newswire, whatever's coming in, we got it. And this month our bonus content includes a hot topic, a crossover episode with Jordan Morrison, Jesse Thoris, episode with Jordan Morrison, Jesse Thoris, and Jordan Jesse Goh. And we also made a crazy episode. Oh, and if you're ready to just lose your mind, you know, get a nice edible, lie down

in the dark and just listen to this insanity wash over you. Yeah, well, I'll briefly describe it. Four years ago, we transcribed an old episode and we read the transcript of that episode where Ryan Beale played Paul F. Tompkins. Yes. Well, this year we transcribed that transcription episode and we read that and it makes no sense. Makes no sense and Ryan does a very capable job

of stepping into the Paul F. Tompkins seat. And he has these so many long monologues. With the nails, he knows, oh, that was a cold read too. Yeah, he better not have spent time rehearsing. He was not off book. Anyway, so if that sounds good to you, if you like getting a bunch of bonus content, sign up.

Yeah. If you just want to support the show because where the show you like and you want to show us some appreciation, that's another reason to do it. But it should also be said, if you can't, if you don't have the scratch this year, don't worry about it.

You get every single episode of this for free. Every single episode going back hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of episodes. Yeah, you can have the previous 836 episode of this for free. Every single episode going back hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of episodes. Yeah, you can have the previous 836 episodes of this plus whatever 20 live episodes in your feed for free. But if you have the money and you wanna support us, head over to maximumfund.org slash join. We'll tell you a little bit more about the gifts later in the show.

You want to stay tuned for that, because, mama, there's some big gifts coming your way. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Because nothing, man. No, it's a blank slate. Okay, here's what's going on with me. My foot was bothering me What part of the foot what kind of pain I was over the bottom of my foot. Mm-hmm plantar fasciitis style Well, I don't know who can diagnose for plantar fasciitis, but themselves. I

Mean that gets us into a lot of trouble. A lot of people are so shameless. This episode is gonna have to be rated 43 and above. This episode 43 plus. Don't worry, we'll get the kids back with their talk about gout. I went to the doctor and I was like, guess what he told him. He said, doctor, Mr. MD. I was going, actually there's a lot of songs where people ask you to guess what the doctor said. Well, it was actually the witch doctor. I went and I said, are my foot messed up. Don't fuck that. I said, I actually, I think I have a wart

and she looked at it and she said, it might be a wart, it might be a corn. And she put her, she's like, I think it's a corn because she put her stethoscope up to it and it was like, mm, da, ba ding, boom, ba ding. I was gonna say that she spread some butter on it that was just right but you know as gross as it is to talk about

had a wart removed oh okay okay but you know how they treat it? with tender loving care? everything there's like no one way. They're like, okay, we're gonna. Freeze it. We're gonna cut it, we're gonna freeze it.

And then you put stuff, you put Convain W on it and duct tape. Duct tape? Duct tape is like. It's like old Dr. Red Green. Yeah. Yeah, we've concluded that women don't find you handsome, but we've got a prescription

for you to be handy. Now listen, I want you to keep your legs up and your stick on the ice. Name a third thing. Something possum watch. He I get an ad for red green shirts. That's like he's pitching them and they're just they're like plaid shirts that have suspenders on nights and then on the collar, it says red green. And yeah, and it's like he probably has enough money. He doesn't have to do that.

Or I don't know. I don't know what Red Green's finances are. I don't know. I mean, there was red greens finances are no I mean there was that piece There was a piece on the BBC about Eric Idol. Oh, yeah, he's got no money Yeah, he's broke Iggy Pop as well Let's say like he doesn't have any money cuz it isn't I guess he doesn't have the publishing rights to his And guess also his songs aren't very popular. Mm-hmm. He's like more famous than his music Yeah, but except for the songs that David Bowie would cover. Oh, right. Yeah, guy doesn't even have the shirt on his back

Someone a few people actually sent us have you watched the The we are the World documentary on Netflix? No. I haven't seen it yet. I've heard a lot about it, but I have not seen it. It's about them getting together. The night they made We Are the World, it was the night of the American Music Awards

because everyone would be in town. Oh, okay. Ah, okay, that makes sense. And it was Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones and Lionel Richie. And then, and Prince didn't show up. Oh, and Stevie Wonder was like, Stevie Wonder showed up the day of the recording

and was like, hey, let's write the song. And they're like, no, we're writing, we've written it. So they had already, yeah, the song had already been written, everybody was just given up. Or they were singing it like a choir. Yeah, well, they kind of like arranged everyone's everyone had like not everyone but a lot of people had solos just a line right yeah there comes a time take it and they were arranged by like their vocal range

oh yeah so like you go after him because you're both in the same vocal range, not because your voices sound good together or anything, or like you're, but the only things that- And then it was like in aid of a- It was for Ethiopian famine. Right. It was post-band aid.

Right. Do they know it's Christmas? And- Oh yeah, that's right. The two memorable moments from the documentary are, Waylon Jennings was there. This was going all night because it started at 11 and was going to go till the sunrise. Waylon Jennings was there and they were coming up with, Stevie Wonder was like, well,

we really should have something in Swahili, because it's a song for Africa and other people were like, well, they don't speak Swahili in Ethiopia. Who, Wayla Jennings just walks out, he's like, I'm not sick in Swahili. There was a Canadian one. Tears Are Not Enough. I was going to say, we need to pitch CBC on the Tears are Not Enough documentary.

Well, that's what people have been sending me. Oh, really? Did you know about this? And it's like, yes, we do. It was like people in it that were John Candy's. Yeah, so is Dan Aykroyd. Dan Aykroyd is in We Are the World. He is? Yeah.

He was their Swahili interpreter. Yeah. And he... Oh, I guess because of the Blues Brothers. He was representing the Blues Brothers. I don't know. Like, I guess... Because Ray Parker Jr. was there.

But yeah, the Canadian one has like Brian Adams and Mike Reno and yeah, red green. Well, I was thinking because it was like, here's our they also filled it in with like really good three or four SCTV members. But I was like if they did it 10 years later, it would have been red green. Mike Bullard. Yeah. Yeah. And then they don't, that was, that was only that time they'd never done. Another famous person.

Choir. No, there was like a whole run of them in the eighties. Did they not try to do one for like SARS or hurricane Katrina? Or something? It was SARS stock. I remember it was like, that was, wasn't that in Toronto? Yeah. They were rolling stones.

Something about like, we need to get everyone together into this booth to fight this respiratory illness. I, uh, the, um, uh, Sun City is, is the, is probably the best one musically, right? Was it the first of those songs? What was Sun City? I'm going to play Sun City. That's a little Stephen Van Zandt. It's the anti-apartheid.

It's the boycott song and it's, I could be wrong. I feel like it's the first one of those songs it goes like they all sing the chorus together And every famous person has one one line at a time. It's funny that the Chicago Bears used the same It was a big thing in the 80s and then you'd have so the the rap guy would go like do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do like do do do, do it like this and just does an impression of how Bob Dylan should do it. And then Bob Dylan's like, gotcha, and nails it. Wow.

Yeah. Nice. Pretty good. Yeah. I feel like if Stevie Wonder was in your corner, what couldn't you do? Drive. Yeah.

You guys. I mean, you couldn't you do? Drive. Yeah. You guys. I mean, you couldn't drive if Stevie Wonder wasn't encouraging you. Dave's famous sympathy blindness strikes again and strikes a pedestrian. It's like when you meet a British person and you start speaking with their accent. Singing a choir of British accents. Britain must have done one, right? Yeah, they did. Do they know it's Christmas?

Oh yeah, shit. Yeah, yeah. Not just Britain. Bono was there too. Yeah, Bono was there. That's right. Theirs was the only seasonally restrictive one. And yet it comes back. Ironically, that gives it the longevity. Yeah. I forgot all about that. I mean, tears are not enough is really only for when you're crying.

Yeah. And also it's like, fuck you, man. Tears are not enough. Yeah. Make it make with the money. That's true. That is a pretty harsh., tears are not enough. Yeah. Make, make with the money. That's true. And it's a pretty harsh tears are not enough. Don't you know the tears are not enough.

Podcasters for Africa. Um, the just in general. Oh, the other part of, uh, we are the world. Like as it's for the emerald isle. The emerald isle. We're doing the potato famine this time. The emerald isle of Africa. The other thing about We Are The World, it's...

Oh yeah, they never settle on whether it's the we are the ones who make a better place Or we are the ones who make a brighter place like by the end They're confused whether it's better or brighter every time And isn't there some like it was maybe cinder lopper Madonna that was wearing jewelry. Yes, and they like Lopper had the liquor Jewel jewelry off. Yeah. And Captain Luel Bano was there.

I was gonna say. To hold it. Oh, is he part of it? Yeah, yeah. And he does sing at the end of that Mario Brothers show. He was, there was a big, Is that a rap? Yeah, that's a bit more,

swing your arms from side to side, come on, it's time to go to the Mario. Yeah, and because the opening song of the Super Mario Brothers show is a rap. Yeah. In the Mario Brothers, and Plum is the game, like that's the item which I had completely forgotten. Oh my gosh.

There was like an animated kind of thing that was like this where all these animated characters got together to tell kids not to do drugs. That's right. And I remember they showed that in school and it was like a Sm all these animated characters got together to tell kids not to do drugs. That's right. I remember they showed this that in school and it was like a smurf. He-Man I think was probably there. Alf was there. Bugs Bunny showed up.

It does sound like. Bob Dylan was there, he couldn't get it all. Yeah. It sounds like you're describing an acid trip. My kids, your daughter is in grade four now, right? Yes. And so is mine. And they've started that like health class. Oh, right.

Yeah. And the teacher sent home a bunch of materials and some videos and what was the one of them called? God, I gotta find it. Oh yeah, it was called How the Boner Grows. How the Boner Grows? Yeah. Wow. That's like how the boner grows. Is that right? How the boner grows? Yeah. Wow. That's like where the wild things are.

Yeah, exactly. Where the wild thing is. And I watched it. I was like, I've been wondering. Also, when is it going to grow? How the boner grows. That's like when Kara was getting her ultrasounds with Pascal. The person said, Moser is bald. He was like, this was a ball. Yeah, I think they made a brass.

Yeah, I think they're made of brass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Check out the nads on this kid. Yeah, yeah, they made your kids nuts. He's just such a strange. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It's weird when they go to do the ultrasound and on the screen, a tip option comes up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's the tipping culture is out of control. Anyway, so I had some foot pain, watched a documentary. That's pretty good. That's a week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. That's what, I mean, you know, God willing, that's what middle age is. Yeah.

Had some foot pain, watch a documentary. I mean, we're the lucky ones. I also watched killers of the flower moon. Oh yeah. That's a week. That's a week. I had to separate it over a couple of viewings. Good.

Yeah, good. If you like three and a half hours of frowning, frowning Leo DiCaprio. Furrowed browed. Like, and frowning. He's frowning. Yeah, but it's a confused. Yeah, but then the like, yeah, that's true. There's a wrinkle down his forehead as well. It's a strange thing because it's like the whole he it's like this thing of uh, well, he was originally supposed to play the character that Jesse Plemmons. Is that how you so he was

supposed to play that character. Uh, but play that character. Graham hasn't seen it. Oh, okay. Well, they're like, we don't want it to be like a white savior movie. So I'm gonna play this bad guy. Which is like, it's a great instinct. But then it's... So it's like, but also, I'm still gonna be the star of the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So now it's just like, well now we're just following

this guy who's not very- Who's a sad con man. Dynamic or interesting. Yeah. I'm like, I thought it was a good movie. I saw it in theaters. I wish it was just a little longer. Like a four and a half, five.

I have a couple editing suggestions of whether they're gonna just let it go. I wanna see that director's cut. A few scenes from the Irishman. Yeah Lice in yeah. Oh man. I haven't seen it. But what I did see okay is this is that to know you? Yeah, I I guess I don't know if it's an anniversary thing or what but they really is tenant. That's right Which way released tenant? Oh Or what, but they. Re-released Tenet. That's right. Which, which? Re-released Tenet. Tenet.

Oh, Tenet. Yeah, was. The movie from four years ago? Yeah, they have it back in theaters, I guess, cause it may be a lot of people didn't see it because it was. It was like the first COVID release. Right, yeah.

And Christopher. Nolan. Nolan was like, no, we're not releasing this on a home video. Yeah. Oh, because he's so huge right now. Yeah. He's untouchable. Like, he can, like I'm in the Writers Guild of America.

Oh, you are? I am. Nice. Well, I mean. I'm in the one of Canada. Yeah. I hear from the ones here when I mode my deuce So I anyway I get the screeners right and they're all it's all DVDs

Oppenheimer was a blu-ray Okay, so he's clearly like you are not sending my movie out on regular inferior like so it's being sent to, and I want to be clear. I do not vote in anything. Like my name is just on a list of like, I get these things that like, so he is, I think right now it was such a huge success. He's so on top of the world.

Yeah. He's just now allowed to kind of, so he, if he gets to re-release the thing, it's, it's cause he's. Yeah. Yeah. He's just like that. And he's also like. Although the, the version they put out, it's Tennant Taylor's version.

It's weird that they put it out like she somehow got a say in it. Yeah. But you didn't get to say the first time around. Yeah. This is why they're releasing it. It just doesn't want the money going to scooter brawn. But I think I've seen all of his movies. OK, let's go through Christopher Nolan's filmography.

I've seen very little of it. Memento. Memento. I don't remember if I saw that. Nice. Memento. Insomnia. The three Batman films. Dunkirk. Dunkirk. What are the three Batmans again?

It's Night Falls. Batman Begins. Batman Begins. Dark Knight. Dark Knight. Dark Knight Rises? And that's Bane. Yeah.

Joker and what was the first one? Scarecrow. Scarecrow. Yeah. Joker and. What was the first one? Scarecrow. Scarecrow, yeah. Okay, I saw all three of those. And also. Rozzel Ghoul. Rozzel Ghoul. Rozzel Ghoul.

I believe it was an episode with you that we came up with. Rozzel Gubba Ghoul. That's great. Yeah, really good stuff. And then Oppenheimer. And. Let's. And. Inheimer and- Let's, Inception. Interstellar and Inception. Oh, Inception, of course.

Inception's the only- I haven't seen Interstellar. So the only ones of those I've seen are the Batman ones, Inception and Oppenheimer. Right. I saw Inception, I remember really being- Oh, in the Prestige. Oh yeah, I never saw that. That's about magicians. Yeah, yeah, I never saw that magician

Yeah, that's that's maybe my favorite of the oh really? Yeah. Wow. I heard that was good I like the Dark Knight is my my go-to Oppenheimer was really good. The Dark Knight is really good he I Really was quite impressed by inceptionception when I watched it. And then I watched a parody video of the movie, like two days later or something. This is the only time this has ever happened in my life. I watched the parody and I was like, these people are completely right.

That was a ludicrous film and it completely destroyed the movie for me. Really? Yeah. It was like if you read a Mad Magazine thing and it just like, well, no more. Yeah. I can't enjoy MASH. Yeah. Yeah.

Ever since I read Mush. It would be Mush. Oh, guaranteed. mush. It would be. Oh, I'll look it up. My favorite Wikipedia page is just a full list of all the, you are, you're joking. Is this this page exists? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Please send me this link. I'm trying to think of, cause I think Seinfeld is science smell. It might have been swine fell and fell. I know. Well, where are they? This would be such a fun game. We did a bonus episode.

Oh my gosh. Where we were trying to. Yeah. Guess what it was. And yes, it was probably swine felt would be my guess. Holy moly Television show spoofs in mad. There's also a movie one What am I looking at? Yeah, 70s. Yeah, 70s

We're looking at oh, yeah, cuz they would have done the movie to problem Maybe they wouldn't have done the movie and then that was the satire department. I think there were different departments from That magazine. Oh. That's something. Try to explain that to Josephine as a. Oh, yeah. Yeah. OK, mash. Yeah, it is. Meshuggah. Oh, that's way better. See, they don't pay those guys the big bucks for nothing.

Meshuggah. That's pretty good. Any other 60s or 70s one? Kojak? Kojerk. What about the French connection? Well these are, I'm in the TV page. Oh sorry. That'd be something.

Because Mesh was a movie. I bet the French connection would be called like the Fresh Conniption or something like that. Harsky and Stutch? That's pretty something like that. Harsky and Stutch. That's funny, that Harsky and Stutch is good. Welcome back, Claude. Yeah, Claude, it's gotta be Claude. Charlie's Angels?

Charlie's Angels? Blarney Miller. Blarney Miller, that's good. I mean, god damn, I couldn't tell you what Barney Miller was about. Little House Oso dreary. This is now for people 53 and up. Lust boat. Lust boat is pretty, that's all right.

The incredible bulk. Yep. Cattle car galactica anyway. Nice, nice. Top notch stuff. So I went and saw Tenet and. You want to say tenet? I do want to say tenet.

The inglorious 70 millimeter. Oh. And the I guess there's a thing like people have said about Christopher Nolan movies is that a lot of the expository dialogue is very hard to hear. Yes. Like either somebody is wearing a mask or they are mumbling or there is loud. Right, right, right. And he encourages that. Yeah, he likes it and I don't understand why but the movie doesn't, I don't know what that was. Exposition, they should call that.

Nice. So this movie is about things going forwards and backwards? Yeah, it's a thing where they figured out, somebody's figured out time travel, so some things are coming from the future and things you go into the past, but you can't, you, everybody in the past is going backwards and you're going forward and it's it's very like I Can see why like on paper you be like this great and then some just backwards and forwards but then when you see you're like, I don't I don't get what the stakes are here like I don't understand if he goes back to the past and

Like there's nothing where it's like if you go back to the past you disarm this then yeah Yeah, you know, we're made in the show because they probably explained it during the the wood tooth brushing scene yeah the bass guitars. Yeah, yeah. Now remember, if you don't... Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum- because you're like, why is he sound so far away and everybody else is clumped together and And then even at the end, I think he'd said something was supposed to be his like farewell What a perfect movie to re-release though, oh, yeah, it's all about kind of time weirdness Yeah, you're like hey watch this again Watch it backwards later. He like apparently going like speaking of going backwards if you watch memento on the DVD there gives you a choice to watch it In sequence going forward and it's still it still makes a good movie still good Wow the oh, yeah We talked about it on a hot topics bonus episode, but Christopher Nolan told the story about how

as a, he was on a, he did a Peloton like biking class and where you're just like, you watch the teacher and the teacher was just like making small talk and the song came on, who knows this song? This song's from a movie called Tenet, I hated it. That movie made no sense to me. What a waste of time. And Christopher Nolan is anonymous inside the glass.

And Christopher Nolan was the only one cycling backwards and then I get up doing it right. He's there for three and a half hours. Why is the screen on your bike so big? So yeah, it was like- Wow, I wonder if you cycle backwards, if you get opposite muscles, or you gain calories as you do it. That's like Ferris Bueller trying to take the miles off of the car.

Christopher Nolan is 400 pounds. He's been riding his peloton backwards. And you know what they say, the harshest we're dining in the whole of Canada hasn't and Tony got can't just get up. Exactly. And then there's a thing, because it's all, you know, times of mishmash. And then there's the thing.

Times of mishmash sugar. And it's, they say something that's, like the characters say something where you in the theater are supposed to be like, ah, yes, that's that is correct. But at the end I was like, I still don't understand what that means. Yeah. Like you, you know, I know you from the past. I know you from the future.

And I never the twain. I, I, I remember when inception came out, people were like, this is too like, so people found that hard to follow. Yeah. Yeah. Going within a dream, within a dream, within a dream. Yeah, this was like, that was amateur hour. Yeah, I felt like that was just a lot of like,

just accept it and go with it. There's nothing to follow. Yeah, and that's the same with this movie. As long as you're not trying to make sense of anything. But every scene that has any kind of dialogue in it, I don't understand what they're saying. And also, you find, like, anytime you watch a sci-fi, you have to learn the rules of that world, which is why I hate sci-fi.

So tedious. Yeah. Cause it's like, this is called this and this is what this is. People love that. Yeah. I can't, I can't watch any kind of fantasy stuff or anything like that because of that, you've got to go past the mountain of-Jabbar, go through the caverns of Lez-a-Vell, and you just go, those aren't real mountains, those aren't real caverns, like why not just

have it be in a real place? You gotta go through the caverns of Gargamoosh. And I know when I say that I sound like the woman's dad at the beginning of Sideways who's like, I think so much going on in the world, you write a book, it's just made up, waste of time. I do sometimes feel that way. If I'm reading fiction, I'm like, these people don't exist. Their complicated relationship is like, why are they losing sleep over it?

They don't even exist. Give me the book based on tears are not enough. That's what I want to read. Yeah, and just for our listeners out there, I know a lot of you are sci-fi fans and I disagree with Charlie. Oh yeah, right. It's so cool.

But you know what? Any excuse to eat a bunch of popcorn, right? I'll take it any day of the week. I also, I'm guessing you saw it at the park. I did. And watching a 70 millimeter film at the park is a pretty exciting experience. Yeah, it was fun.

It was fun and like. Was it full? No. No, but there were a lot of people there. There were a lot of people. I think yesterday was the last. Yeah, or today is the last maybe tomorrow is dune to oh Yeah, we're pre taping this we're in dune times. Yeah. Yeah, we're and leave. This is leap your taping

Yeah, well yeah right now in a day that you know well only have Charlie on the next four years Is your birthday 16 years old. Somebody that was in the like, Globe and Mail today was like, this person's 100, but that technically they're only, you know, 17 years old. And I was like, well, that's not a new story at all.

Yeah. That's nothing. They're technically only 17, so we can't show nude pictures of them. Well, good. That's nothing there technically only 17 so we can't show nude pictures of them Good Yeah, they're finally they're old enough to drink in Alberta This old lady

The news is so crazy because I've've been following this, um, uh, like the Willy Wonka, the whole story. And well, if you, if you haven't seen it yet, you are in for the treat. Oh my God. I think I saw, I've seen it meme. Does that someone with green hair? Yes. That's part of it. But I mean, so I'm kind of torn between, one, this story has brought me, I mean,

80% of my joy of the last like 72 hours has been like directly- Riding that high. Riding that high. Also, it's the news coverage that this has gotten, you're just like, well, no wonder our society is falling apart. It's like literally if you Google it, because I was like, oh, I want to see more pictures. Every major, like New York Times, The Guardian, The Independent, like it's just CNN, everyone is covering it. And you're like, this is, this is the, this is the whole problem I should be finding out about this amazing story from the like weird Scottish Instagram account

Yeah, but uh But anyway, it is like like fire fest for a kid's attraction like okay, they I'll promised a lot and really really I was a really wonka, Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka experience where in Glasgow. Yeah. In like a warehouse. They're not Glaswegian, are they? Glaswegian is believing in when you see these pictures because they are.

Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's absolutely amazing. It's like the, it's like the grimist. That's a guy from McDonaldimmest This is from McDonald Like because people always say like oh, you know, what does grimace represent like everybody has the thing that they represent What's grimace and grimaces like for after you've eaten you like? And Grimace is like, after you've eaten it, you're like... Pffft! Yeah.

I don't feel so good. What does Grimace represent? What do the Fry Guys represent? Rebellion. Well, remember that bird? She was breakfast. Birdie. Yeah, Birdie.

She represented wanderlust. The Fry Guys. But she's gone. They're all gone. They're all gone. They're all gone. Yeah, they're all dead They're not just gone. They're dead. They died on reentry. It's canon that they're dead. Yeah. Yeah But yeah, anyways this I won't yeah, I won't say anything so don't spoil it for you But it's uh, and listeners look at this story from a month ago. Yeah Yeah, we're out of time no matter which way you look at it.

We're too old, too young, too. And yet we're from the future. Yeah, that's right. Or maybe things are moving backwards, forwards. Um, well, should we take a quick break and talk about Mac's fun drive? Fun. Hi again. Hi, sorry to interrupt.

We've, we pulled it out all the stops and here we are stopping the show Man they tell you no stops Like I joined that club that said there were no scrubs and then I was like fuck driving around my best friend's ride What else did the scrub you joined a club that said no scrubs? Yeah, the no scrubs club. I was assured that I'd be able to get with one of the ladies of TLC. Right. Then work out at all. Well, back then you were also known as a busta.

It's true, because I love Ghostbusters. But do they want your number? No! Do they want to give you theirs? No, not at all! Do they want to meet you nowhere? No, yes! They want me to go nowhere and they don't want to meet me there.

Do they want any of your time? Yes, they want me to go nowhere and they don't want to meet me there. Do they want any of your time? No! Such a scrub. It's Max Fun Drive. You know what this is all about. Your support makes this show. We could not make this show without you.

I know that sounds phony baloney. Yeah, but it's from the heart. Our version of the Jerry Maguire, we're just a couple of boys standing in front of the internet asking it to love them back. I think that is Notting Hill? Oh. I don't know.

It's all one romantic comedy to me, really. Yeah. The way this works is, well, I guess we could make this show without you, but we wouldn't. Well, yeah, we wouldn't. This would not be worth our time. Would. Wouldn't.

Should. No, nerd. I don't think we should. We should make this show without you guys. Yeah, you know what? You're right. We're shutting down the Max One Try. We're going out on our own.

Shut up. So we've talked to you before, you go to maximumfund.org slash join. You just say how much you want to put towards support every month. You choose your prizes at that level. Yeah. Your gifts. You get to pick who you're supporting.

Yeah. You pick the show you're supporting and But I guess the rest is history yeah, and you know what history is gonna change Okay, is that from something that's from back to the future really? Yeah One yeah, Michael J. Fox says it to the oh, yeah the principal futures gonna change Well the future is gonna change your history is gonna change either Both actually Well, yeah, he says the future is gonna change but just a little bit to make it my present

Much better where I have a truck and I can have sex She'll only do in a. She's like that movie crash But I have to crash the truck first Anyway we told you about the bonus content at five if you support us at five dollars a month you get the full library Of bonus content. Oh you guys this is so much fun We're the king of Boko. It's the truth everybody says it we accept it to be true. Are there any other episodes that we didn't mention earlier? I mean there's tons we didn't mention but because we do so much yeah is there I mean we've done years and years of them we played an entire

game of truly pursuit with our friend Alicia Tove and We did a backwards episode. That's true Anyway, there's there's tons for you to discover at five dollars a month. Yeah at ten dollars a month. Oh boy You know for a couple years for many years. We were doing maximum fun was doing enamel pins yes At ten dollars a month.. Oh these are by the way these gifts are for new and upgrading members. If you already are a member, hey have we said this yet? We appreciate you. We love you. And then but also if you are staying at $5 a month you still get the bonus content. Right. You do not need to upgrade to continue

getting bonus content. But at $10 a month, I just wanted to tell you about our pin. Yeah, our pin's cool. So they did enamel pins for years. And then the last couple years, patches. We're back to pins. People wanted the pins. Back to pins, baby. Easier to put on your jean jacket, I think.

Slide an enamel pin on the back with a little backer. There you go. Right here. And ours this year, every show has their own pin, but if you choose our pin, you get one that is just very simple. It's silver on black. It just says possible guest.

It will be inscrutable to your friends. They won't know and they'll just be our little secret. Yeah, of course it is. Oh, you think these other pins will be scrutable? We had a guest on a few months ago, Jason Klom, who had a custom t-shirt he had made himself that said possible guest. That's right. In copper black font? Is that what it was called? Cooper? Yeah. Hang in with Mr. Cooper. And it we said oh we like that can we turn that into a pin and he said no no

And so we need you to support the show because we're being sued by our biggest fan We're in the middle of a very very nasty lawsuit So at $10 a month you can get that at If you go onto the website maximum fun org you can see what you can get at $20 a month. At $35 a month, it's a giant tote bag. It's a giant tote, it's a hilariously very fun, that could be a very funny thing to bring to the beach. It says maximum bag on it.

That's good, I like that, that's good. And then at 50, at 100 a month, there are some amazing gifts at your disposal but disposal and you don't recommend disposing of it no and they're amazing yeah but check those out at maximum fun org so this is this is basically how we make our living yeah and you what you do means so much to us. What you, your support basically is the reason we can pay our bills.

You are so beautiful. Mm-hmm. To me. And so if what we do is very important to you, please pay it back and do something very important to us. Yeah, and we really, it is, we consider it quite a privilege to be able to do this show each and every week for years It's been 16 years. It's been 16 years since we started this bad boy We were only 12 and 13 when we started and I can't believe we're still going at the ages of 20 age of 29

We're still going at the ages of 28 to 29. Uh huh. Anyway, we're old men. We need this money. We need this money. We can you imagine how pathetic it is that this is how we pay our bills as 40 somethings help us help us please. We're drowning over here. Anyway, do you want to do some overheard?

Yep. Thanks. Over here anyway, do you want to do some overheard? Yep. Thanks Overheard you hear it say it that's the way it goes You know if you hear something out there in the world and it's fun or interesting or whatever We want to hear it and if you want to send one in to us you could send it into Sby at maximum fun org and we always like to start with the guests Charlie. Do you have an over heard? I did I this is technically I think more of a kids say the darndest things, but it's the closest I've got so Josephine and I were watching the

Taylor Swift eras tour movie. Right. In theater? We were watching it at home. We were watching. You got a screener from the writers guild. That's right. Joseph was like, what is with this picture quality? I said, let's just say Taylor Swift is no Christopher Nolan. So we're watching this and if you've seen it there's... have you watched it?

I have not. Are you... is... My kids love Taylor Swift, they love going to movies. The month that it was in the theater I asked them and they said no but now'm like, it'll be on Disney plus in mid-March. And they're like, you're so excited. Really? Okay. Okay. Yeah. So, um, she, she was, uh, uh, Josephine's, I would say like borderline obsessed with Taylor Swift and, and so it's a big, big thing in, in our house. And, and, uh, but we never got it together to go to the theater cause I was going to

take her, but then she wanted to go with my cousin and his fiance, because they're like in their late 20s, and I think that would have been a little bit more exciting. And so then it just kept falling through the cracks and we never made it to the theater. So then we get to rent it, and I go to rent it, and it costs $20 to rent. It actually cost $19.89, because that's her thing. And I go to rent it and it costs $20 to rent.

It actually cost $19.89 because that's her thing. And I said, Josephine, I'm not gonna rent this for $20. We get it for two days. And she was pretty heartbroken. And my coworker, who's a big Swifty, was like, sent me $19.89. It's like sent me a email money transfer. So thank you, Alexa, if you're listening.

So anyway, we're watching the Aris tour movie and there's like, I mean, it's like a massive production. It's like a huge, and at one point there's this like, all these lights behind her these like these yellow lights and the effect is this like cascading fountain of yellow lights and Josephine says to me she's watching it and then she turns to me she goes dad would you take a golden shower? You're going to learn about this in health class. What makes the boner grow?

What makes the shower shimmer? Is she just, does she make that expression up in her head or does she know what the goal is? No, no, no. I mean, she, she, I mean, I assume she, she made it up in her head. She's now old enough that she's hearing these like bits and pieces, but it's an insane time time because like kids today are this in just like mind boggling combination of way younger than we were at that age and way older than we were at that age. So like she asked me a question. Well, she,

she was like, dad, like, why do people say like 69 is like a funny number or whatever. Like, um, and the kid she had heard that from was a neighbor kid who, like, 10 months ago, I had to be like, now remember, don't ruin Santa for this kid who still believes in Santa and is now like letting her in on the 69 world. So we, we literally, we live in a world. 69 world is my least favorite sci-fi movie. We live in it.

We're gonna be in a timeline where there are gonna be kids who understand all of the innuendos in Santa Baby. I still believe in them. And think it's about a literal guy. Yeah, she does sing about having a 69 in that song. Santa Baby on stage. Or maybe just all songs about sexualized Santa. Yeah.

Not interested. Yeah. She's trying to sleep with Santa and this, but also like Bilkham of Money. She mostly wants to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The it's I was thinking about like, because I feel like when I learned about sex, like

I learned about all the other things so rapidly. So like, you know, a golden showers were on the it's like, you know, it was just part of a package of sex things I learned at age 11. It was like, oh yeah, so there's golden showers and there's missionary sex and they're basically, you know, you'll encounter the same all the time. Both totally legitimate ways of having a child.

Yeah. See, cause I didn't, when sex was explained to me, it was first explained to me as, this is how babies are conceived. But no one said, also, it's this thing that people do, it gives you pleasure, it's the reason why sometimes you feel this certain way in parts of your body. Like, it was just, so, like people have asked me like oh what's

the first time you ever did like comedy like what's the first and I was maybe seven years old and my parents were talking about this couple they knew who got pregnant by accident right and I thought that meant they had accidentally had sex so I started doing. I started riffing about like how did that happen? She was cleaning the floor. Yeah. Was it one person's turn to sleep in the nude and the other person forgot and rolled over and like my parents are dying of laughter, but

what I didn't realize of course in the until in retrospect was they were laughing at the ignorance that they had engineered Well, I was the same like when I I knew that a penis went in a vagina. Yeah, that's it Yeah, exactly. I didn't know what else like yeah, I didn't know anything came out of anything. Yeah Yeah, just a full-grown baby flies Some older kid at my elementary school was wearing a t-shirt once. It said, do it in the sand. By the way, this is what the 1980s were like. Like a kid could show up at an elementary school in a t-shirt that

said, do it in the sand, no problem. And so this kid was wearing a t-shirt that said, do it in the sand. And I was like, what did I say? What's it? He goes, you know, Pennywise. He goes, you know. Pennywise. He goes, you know it. I went, Pete? Like a cat?

Yeah. Dave, do you have one over here? I do. Well, OK, here's what's up, folks. We did a bonus episode with our friends, Jordan and Jesse from Jordan, Jesse go and they, we did some of our segments and I used my overheard. I was going to use. Yeah.

Classic. And then, but here's one I did about a month ago when I was a guest on the blocked party podcast when they also did stop podcasting. So you're reclaiming it. Yeah, I'm reclaiming it. So this is, I was walking past, so the subway in our neighborhood always closes early. Yeah.

Like it says it's open till nine o'clock, but you walk by at nine o'clock and crickets. Lights out. You walk by at eight o'clock, it's usually empty. But I was walking by at like after nine and the door was open and the woman who works there was just standing there in the dark while a man in like, do you know Zuba's pants? They're like, they would have like every NFL team had their own like pajama pants. They're like, they're like, they would have like every NFL team had their own like pajama pants. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And a guy was wearing those that were in the

like the Baltimore flag, Bo T. Okay. Which is a weird brown, red and yellow. Red and yellow, okay. And he was like, you know, probably 60-ish, yelling at this woman. Not yelling in a mean way, but just like she was, maybe looked 10% threatened by him. Sure. And she just wanted to go home. Yeah. And this guy is saying to her through the door,

you're going to be selling other things now. You know why? Because the American Subwayses have already started selling churros and other things. You mark my words. I come to you from the future. I know about the churros. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They only allow long desserts now. Have you seen they have a long cookie? Oh do they really? Anything that can be cooked in the same tray. Yeah. Oh man. That's really funny I just like that he called them Subways's. Subways's. Subways's yeah Where does the possessive ass go on a subway both plural? Yeah Have you had the long cookie no, I don't care for the subway cookies no me neither I do most cookies I'm a cookie monster some people would say. I do like cookies. I guess I like them too. But they're always the kind of thing where I see someone like,

damn, I'm going to have to have some of these cookies. Yeah, once you see one, you can't stop. My overhead comes courtesy of standing in line behind an elder gentleman at the pharmacy, and he was telling her his life story or something. I don't know what he was he was going on, but he was standing there forever and ever. And the lines kept growing and growing, growing. And then I got up to the front and somebody had left their cane on a little shelf. Beneath the counter.

And so I was like, I pulled out and said to the pharmacist, I was like, somebody left their cane here and then she alerted the old man who just walked away. Is this your cane? And he turned around and was so unbelievably angry. I don't know that she would think he was old enough or whatever to use it. And then he started jumping up and down. He totally didn't need a cane. You think I need a cane? And then he started jumping up and down I need a cane He cracks his hip in the middle of That's that's very funny. Yeah, it was he was a funny old dude like and I mean I didn't think it was his no

That's a ballsy thing to do as the pharmacist to. Yeah. Sir. She just doesn't want him coming back to get it. I was in a pharmacy to get my vaccines and the, and I was protesting, but I. The vaccines you were getting? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm nuanced. I'll get them, but I. Take it all't. Yeah.

It's, and they had, um, you know, they've got panties. So you have to sit after you get your shots. Yeah. And they had all these pamphlets and it's like various issues. And, and there's, so it's the name of the, um, disease or disorder or whatever on the pamphlet. And then there's some kind of photo of a person that relates somehow to the thing. But then there was one on obesity, which, and so they're all like, everybody's like kind of it's them, but they're smiling and it's that, but they're, and now, so they

had one for obesity and I understand you can't have a pamphlet on obesity and then have a big person. Yeah. So then they just have two thin people, but they're still smiling and they're kind of out there having about, and so it just looked like two thin people laughing at you for reading the obesity pamphlet. It was the strangest thing of like, why would you put just, I don't know, make a sandwich or something. You could have an obese person.

I guess. All we got back there in the bank of images. We got a couple of skinny people. We got a jack-o-lantern. We could put that on the front. They're not vampires. The camera couldn't photograph them. Yeah. I mean, as a speaking as, you know, maybe a community member, I don't know that I'd

want to be on, you know, the old thumbs up on you eating a long cookie. What I can tell you, Charlie, is if you get your vaccine at a pharmacy, you don't have to sit there. You just have to stay on premises. So head over to the magazine. Read about the life of reading cards is fun. This was one of those little weird pharmacies,

the super small. Oh yeah, nothing fun. But like far flung, like it was way up in the high, uh, main. Yeah. Hmm. High maintenance. Yeah. Now we also have overheard sent into us by people from all over the map.

If you want to send one into us, sby at maximumfund.org. This first one comes with, uh, this is Sarah C from Alexandria, Virginia. There were, this is a bumper sticker. There were only two bumper stickers on a car I saw the other day. The first sticker said, with God, all things are possible. And the second one said,

big dick is back in town. All things are possible. Here's an example. Yeah. He came back. You think that's an example. Yeah He came back You think that's an autobiographical one or if it's someone's Some would be like, thank God big dick

Oh, it's not me I'm not big dick, but I'm so happy about it. I just look with hope to his return. Yeah. Well, I don't drive over it in this car. It'll give me severe tire damage. Sounds like with big dick, a few things are possible too. How does a boner grow? Oh man. I can't, I thought I copy and pasted an image of this other one, but from Josh B But I'll look it up. We'll get to it eventually This first one is from way back in my high school days. This is a Brian G from Paramus, New Jersey

Back in my high school days There was a sophomore year advanced math class and the teacher was in her first year of teaching maybe 22 or 23 years old She was nice, but she couldn't never corral the ruckus One day she totally lost her cool and screamed at the class first for her and the room fell silent silent 30 seconds later student one goes it's so quiet in here. You can hear the crickets chirping 15 seconds later student to Crickets chirping what What a loser. The room devolved from there.

Why you can hear the mighty cricket. Nerd. Nerd. Permission to punch the nerd. It's a Jersey so you could eat a cricket's. It would lose it. Oh, what fucking cricket she talking about? So I only have those two.

I'll look up the third one. But in the meantime, but when? Oh, just right now. Oh, look it up right now. We'll cut this out. Yeah, yeah, we can. We can edit all this out. And this is what we'll edit out.

This is part right here. This part will be edited out using expert editing tools and technology. Okay, this last one comes from Josh B. Parts Unknown. This is a screen grab from a review of hotels. So the first one is for La Quinta Inn and Suites by Wyndham. Ever since Wyndham got their grubby little hands over like Quinta Inn and Suite.

Really simple review. Good price, clean and good blackface. I'm assuming breakfast was what they were going for. Complimentary blackface. Between what hours? Anyway, it's epic though. He had downstairs at 11am. Was it too late for Blackface? Very much so.

Decades. Oh, Charlie, uh, Charlie Belafonte believes that Blackface was acceptable Socially acceptable Socially in a bad society as there's a there's a madman era they had that on one episode of madman did they Roger the Senior yeah owner he sang blackface. Oh wow No wonder they were mad

It is no over hers that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 That's one. Oh spy pod one like these people have Way we go Hey, Dave Graham and guest. I was just walking into work And I heard this little gem, uh, two rubbies, uh, picking up cigarette butts outside of a hotel. Just because he walks up to me, it doesn't mean we're friends.

He did a bunch of enemy stuff. And then after that, they continued talking about who's picking up all the cigarette butts so they can't smoke them. Anyways, uh, well, off I go. That's real enemy shit. Yeah like cackling. Oh yeah sure. Turning around in a big chair. Like rubbing your hands together in an evil way. Mustache curling. Any Ruing. Yeah Ruing. You know, keeping some sort of magic crystal or something like that. Remembering this? Yes, yes.

Having a big metal head. When I said no wonder they were mad, I meant the mad men. Not any social group that would have been particularly offended. I think we got it. Okay, good. Hi, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Justin calling from Connecticut. I work on the second floor of a building in the city and I often

overhear street noises and sounds. I don't normally hear people's conversations, but today I heard a man say this. Don't call me an asshole. You're an asshole for making me look like an asshole. All right? No frigging way. Yeah, flawless logic.

Yeah, that's a transitive property. Being an asshole. The only reason I'm an asshole is because of you. Yeah, that's a transitive property. Being an asshole. Yeah. The only reason I'm an asshole is cause of you. Yeah, but yeah, I got it from Dennis Leary. That was, I learned it from you. I mean, that is like when you get mad at your kid for something that is clearly something they inherited

from you or something that you've taught them, there is that feeling of like, why don't we just cut out the middle man and I'll just be mad at myself. So my kids have learned what the middle finger is. Oh yeah. And they learned about that on friends, the Gellers did this action to,

in cases when they didn't wanna get in trouble for giving each other the middle finger. Right. But they know we know what that means. Right, right. They have now come up with... Every time they come up with a new one, it's like, yeah, but now we know what that is. Yeah.

So they're on about their fifth one, and at this point, like they're hand slapping, bearing teeth, just sideways and that. So now they've developed basically a secret handshake of just middle finger alternatives. What's so sweet is the level of solidarity and cooperation that has to go into developing our intimate hate language for each other. Listen, if we're gonna tell each other to fuck off, silently,

we gotta be on the same page. And your final phone call. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. Got an overheard from the liquor store a minute ago. A lady was walking behind me and she said, uh, Chard and a shard and no, we're not a shard and a household. We're sure to know the mad magazine. If they started doing wine, what would be the other wine spooks? Uh, you know what? Um, low brow. I'm trying to think of another type of. Wine spoofs You know what?

Low brow I'm trying to think of another type of yeah like champagne has already got a sham in it Merlot Riesling Sauvignon Blanc I'm drawing a Sauvignon Blanc with funny wine names. It's not so easy. Yeah, that's why Mad Magazine had a monopoly on it. That's true. They didn't want to do it.

I mean, Guess Cracked kind of got in there for a while. Yeah, Cracked wasn't, that was, poor man's man. Crack was second rate. Yeah, and then there was another one off of that that was like, sproing or something like that. Sproing. There was sproing magazine. I mean, Cracked had the sexy drawing woman,

Nancy Dickering. Oh yeah. And then that turned it into sproing magazine. Yeah. That's where the, that's where the boner grew from 1978 to about 1989. Oh yeah, it's where the boner grew or how the boner grew. How the boner, how the boner grows.

It wasn't the boner. What the boner is. What portentous pretentious phrasing. You just now. Yeah. I mean, I guess it's just like, did Wes Anderson make this little short? Like what is the, where the boner grew? Also, why is it in the past tense?

It's so ominous. I think it's how the boner grows. Oh, how the boner grows, okay. Well, that's all better. Yeah, I love it. It's neither pretentious nor portentous. Actually, when a boner grows, it can be a little portentous depending on the kind of pants you're wearing.

Pup-tentous. Well, such a good fun episode. Charlie, you're one of our all time faves. Aw, thanks very much. Thanks for joining us today. And before we go, maybe we can say a little something about the Max Fun Drive. Yeah, well, this is the last time we'll tell you about it this week.

We'll be back with another Max Fun Drive episode. But just remember, you support our show. You make this show possible. Yeah. We couldn't do it without you. And if you go to maximumfun.org slash join, you will, you'll see all the stuff you can get if you support us.

But if you just join at $5 a month, there's a mountain of bonus episodes for you. Oh yeah, no, we're the kings of Boko. I don't know if you heard, but our stuff is the best. You know, we'll take on all comers and that's where the boner grows. And thanks for listening, thank you for supporting Max Fun Drive and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcast Yourself. Maximum Fund, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.