Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 840 - Chris Griffin

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Comedian Chris Griffin joins us to talk energy drinks, riddles, and Graham’s 24-hour comedy marathon.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 840 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who, uh, uh, ooh, uh, er, uh, well, he hurt himself in the line of duty and I'm glad to see that he was able to make it here to the podcast and, uh, he's

a brave little soldier, Mr. Dave Schumke. Yeah, I got hit with a hockey puck on my pinky finger. And it's a little chubby. Does it hurt at all? Oh, yeah, man. Shit. Shit. I'm a chubby-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize.

I would wear that splint for all it's worth. I would. What do you mean, like, to get sympathy? And to be able to tell the story. Oh, I stopped this hockey puck with my finger. Yeah, I didn't really stop much. It was just my pinky. I would. What do you mean? Like to get sympathy? And to be able to tell the story. Yeah. I didn't really stop much. It was just my pinky. You can't really. But I would juice. I'd juice the story. Yeah. And then I, uh, it went off my finger and bounced off a guy's head.

I went in the net and we gave me a million dollars. Yeah. Yeah. And I, it just happened to be that that was the million dollar shot. It was the million dollar, oh, by the way, this was happening at halftime at the World Series. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, and I don't have the million anymore because I let it all ride on one horse. But yeah, we be jammin'. I hope you like jammin' too. Our guest today, first time guest here on the podcast,

very funny comedian, very glad to have him here. It's Chris Griffin, hello. Hey, great. Hey Dave, thanks for having me. 10 years in the making. Oh really, we've been doing this show for like 16. Yeah, I've been in Vancouver. Roasted right out the gate.

Don't lie to yourself. It's not like you were on our radar 10 years ago and we're like, no. No. Yeah, I've just been in Vancouver 10 years ago and we're like, no. Yeah, I've just been in Vancouver 10 years. Have you really? Yeah.

Congratulations. You made it. 10 whole years. Yeah. Did you ever think? I think once I came here, I was like, I hope I never have to leave, but financially, that's always the thing. Yeah.

You arrived here for a calorie. Would there be any other reason you'd have to leave? Like criminally? I hope not Or even just mob rule not even criminal. What is mob rule? Well when mobs get together they rule When mobs get together Hey if we join forces, maybe we could rule. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah a bunch of mobs get together It's kind of like a conference like I see guys using Pitchforks this year. Or like the Sopranos get together with the Tokyo Vice.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Do we want to get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Now Chris, you're from? Calgary. Graham, do you know what high school he went to?

No, I don't, but let's see. Let's see if we can narrow it down. Of course, I last week, I need to get these, I'm getting more texts now than I ever had. They're all coming through my computer. Last week, I was able to name eight Calgary high schools. Yeah, completely from memory, no assistance at all. Maybe seven. Well, okay. You want me to try again? Yeah. See if I can remember. Okay.

EP Scarlett. Lord Beaverbrook. Yeah. Nice. Temple Grandin. Yeah. Bishop Grandin, Bishop Carol. Yes. Alternative high school. Yeah. Wow. Calgary Muslim School. Malik. Henry Wisewood. Yeah. And there's another one I'm forgetting. Oh, Western Canada. Western.

And I think that's all I could name. There's also Central. Central, is there Eastern? No, there's not an Eastern. And then there's a couple in the, there was one in the French system that we didn't know about. And then one in the Catholic

school system called St. Mary's. Is that where you went to? Did you go to St. Mary's? Where did you go? No, I went to Bishop McNally. Oh, another bishop. Another bishop. Okay.

Thank God. Did you know about Jack James? No. Oh, that's like the bad kid school. I thought you were like, this is just one guy. Yeah, he went to Bishop McNally too. Tore it up. the bad kid school. I thought you were like, this is just one guy. Yeah, he went to Bishop and Galloway too. Torn up. He was old school.

Well, there was a lot of Jack James at Jack James. What made it the bad school? Jack James, I think it was just where you go if you're bad. Like if you get kicked out, they're like, we'll send you. But it was the only school we could look down to. Like we were second worst and then Jack James was the one we could make fun of. It's like Alcatraz or whatever. Is there like a movie where they and then Jack James is the one we can make fun of. It's like Alcatraz or whatever.

Is there like a movie where they send all the worst to the worst? Yeah, I feel like that's just... Expendables Academy. It's like they say prison is like crime school. That Jack James, that would be like where bad kids would become super bad kids. Yes. So was everyone scared of them? Scared of like...

Yeah, I think so. Did they have like a football team that brought knives? Press knuckles? Well, people, they are, we had a football team and nobody wanted to, our field was just like broken shards and needles. Like nobody wanted to play. Why, what the hell, really? Yeah, it was like, so we'd have to play our home games elsewhere sometimes because it

was so bad. Or at least put a tarp down. What was the, was there a bad school when you were a teenager? Well, who would we always make fun of? Feel like we might've made fun of Scarlet, but that might've just been football rivalry. So it was Bishop what?

McNally. McNally. McNally, it was a new school, like the- Bishop Grandin, Bishop Carroll, Bishop McNally. Bishop Carroll is now our lady of the Rocky Mountains. Yes. Yeah. Oh good memory Yeah, yeah. Yeah Do you ever go you ever go back and hang out? No, I'm still friends with a lot of high school like my core high school Yeah, so I see them but yeah, we did I don't I think I went back once to that school, but did you Did everybody follow their dreams?

Did everybody end up where they wanted to? Yeah. With my high school group? They did not too bad. They all kind of, like one's a dentist, one's a doctor. They all did really well. Kind of, we were kind of the smart kids, but I'm the only one that didn't do well.

Yeah. You're here. Yeah, you're here. You made it here. You wouldn't have any of your other friends on. That's for sure. Were you voted most likely to do third best? Yeah, like six best of that group.

Yeah, I don't know if I was voted anything. We didn't even had a high school reunion. Like they didn't. And then one time, my high school bully, I tried to plan one. I just did a Facebook group and I was doing comedy in Calgary. So I'm like, hey, I'm doing a show. Why don't we meet whatever near the show? And then if anyone wants to come to the show, it gets free tickets or whatever. And then my high school bully after 20 years was like,

Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not just going to do it there. How about we properly plan this and start a committee? And I was like, Oh, okay, I turned it to a nerd. That's what bullies do. That's how they bully you now through administration. Yeah, but it never happened. Yeah. What was the name of the bad school again? Jack James. Jack James. I bet their reunions are rumbled. Fair enough.

Yeah. Oh, to see their yearbook. Most likely they do uppercut. Most likely they do pants and a fish and a little. I think when I was, I think I was scared of growing up, I was scared of Van Tech. Oh, that was a giant school in East Van. And I, I was also scared of East Vancouver. Would you as a kid, would you sneak over to East Van? No, I was scared of it.

But like, when you're like, I gotta see you, kind of scared. The times I had to like take the bus, it was just like,. But like where you're like Kind of scared, but no times I had to like take the bus It was just like I felt like once you got to Main Street. It was Game it was like, you know frickin Beirut in the 80s there were like rocket launchers on the backs of Like jeeps I Just remember that one. I on the backs of like jeeps running through the street. I just remember that one, I had to take the bus to the downtown East side

a few times and it was like, oh, okay, I'm scared now. I am a scared little boy in jams. What was the bad area? Was there a bad area near you? Cause I feel like Forest Lawn was the one that everybody always- Yeah, that's where Jack James is. Yeah.

Northeast and temple. So next to it, which is still, if I say it on stage, like, uh, from temple or the North people still, ooh, does it kill when you do, uh, when you do like local AM from temple, Hey, I'll slow down for a year or whatever that kind of, yeah. Yeah. The, it does. It does. Sadly. I usually I'll, I'll depending if I'm hosting or something I'll be like I'm

from Calgary and everyone cheers and I go Northeast and they all this month April is on the podcast is brought to you by Calgary school board name it all the schools 2008 yeah I I've had that on stage where I'm like, I'll do some local research, I'll figure out a local thing and that of the audience will really be on my side. And then it's a thing that nobody there has heard of, like I've done too deep of investigative journalism. I'm like, yeah, you know, Bradley Smith,

he was acquitted of... 1943. He invented the zipper. Not that zipper, you know, but like the one they use in space. He's from here, you guys! Don't you care? He died a virgin. So, Chris, you're here, you're drinking an energy drink called Guru. Tell us about Guru. You're here today on behalf of Guru. Is it Guru? Am I saying that right? You're saying it right. Yeah. Have you guys ever heard of Rev, the alcoholic beverage?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, for the longest time I'd always try to get sponsored by them, but it never worked out. How did you approach them? Just emails. I would always mention them on podcasts and stuff. So are they still around, Rev? Yeah, they came back. The indie rock band always put out an album called Blue Rev last year, two years ago,

and so if they didn't get a sponsorship, no one did. Right, because Blue Rev is the best flavor. What was it? It was an alcoholic energy drink? Yeah. And early 2000s? Yeah, yeah. It was like Limp Bizkit of energy drink.

What does it taste like? It's Limp Bizkit of energy drink. That's a good quote, isn't it? I know, I don't know why they're not contacting me. Yeah, it tastes bad. It just tastes like chemicals, tastes like blue. Tastes like blue, Tastes like blue. Yeah.

Well, when we were talking last week, blue is the best flavor and the warmest color. That's right. Oh, is that? That's a sad movie. Isn't it French? If it's French, it's either sad or horny. Why not both? I'm the executive at the French film world. Why not both? Let's try one that's sexy and, or no, horny. Is it horny or sexy? I guess, I guess one leads to the other.

Horniness doesn't lead to sexiness. Sexiness leads to horniness? Yeah, it's so good. Okay. I know that spooning leads to forking. Oh yeah, yeah. Chris, you travel around a lot here. No, no, no, we're talking energy drinks.

And also I wanna talk about spooning. So you know when you're spooning someone and they're like, hey, are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Look in your drawer. The spoons are all the same size, guys. Well, I've got two different sizes. Yeah, but do they spoon together?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The small ones stay with the smalls and the bigs stay with the bigs. We're not doing- We're not two different sizes. Yeah, but do they spoon together? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The small ones stay with the smalls and the bigs stay with the bigs. We're not doing- We're not mixing it up. No, you're right, you're right, you're right. Okay, no. Hey, you're right, spooning, you got it.

Guru, back to Guru. Back to Guru. So what is it? So they should be like, you're already the back spoon or the front spoon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, fair enough. So Guru, so you used to drink Rev.

Do you still drink Rev? No, I'm doing sober 2024. So I would drink this. Oh, the whole year. Yeah. Is there, does that have, it looks like it might be kombucha based. Yeah, this one it's, well, it's just guarana. Oh, it's guarana.

Kombucha in this one, but I find with energy drinks, I think, cause I tried to pick it apart. Like what is in these that works so much better than coffee cause coffee I like peak and crash. So I did trial and error and research and I, I think it's taurines in it, which evens out the caffeine. Like it's a downer for it up. So that's, and then the Gerana is a more sustained buzz.

Do you think you're right? There it is. No, but then I was, when I, during COVID, I bought Gerana separately, powder. And then I misread, it was like, take a teaspoon and mix it with water. And, and so we weren't allowed to go out at all. So I just played cards with my wife, Sophia, who's been on the show. Yeah. And, but I misread, I took a teaspoon or tablespoon of guarana, just chugged it down

and literally was up for two days. So by the second day I had to tell my wife, I'm like, I haven't slept for two days. Cause I've like- I've just been lying next to you all night awake. Literally wide awake, like perfectly not. So that, yeah. Then I was like, okay, it's not grand. I mean, it works, but I don't want too much of that.

How many days can you go without telling your wife you've been awake? You haven't slept. By the second day I had to tell her. It was in our vows. Yeah, I was tired of acting out when we woke up in the morning. Whoa, whoa.

I'm putting on my big, long, sleepy time tee. The lies and weight on me. No, I think it was just, I thought I was gonna die, in case I died. I was just like, I haven't slept for two days and my heart's gonna explode. When I was in college, I heard someone said that if you are awake for 72 hours,

you can't be, you can plead insanity for any crimes you commit. Your honor, as far as you know, I was up for 72 hours. Here's a video. Okay, energy drink, are you a big energy drink person? Yeah, I find it's just- You find coffee makes you crash? Yeah, I just peek and then I go down. So I just, yeah, I don't know why energy drink.

From what was your first? First energy drink? Yeah. I remember peek and then I go down. So I just, yeah, I don't know why energy drinks. From what was your first? First energy drink. Yeah. I remember it so specifically, it was Red Bull. Yeah, I think that's a lot of people's. Yeah. Gateway energy drink. It definitely was.

I remember Red Bull used to be like, people would die from it, cause I think they had a fedrin in it when it was in Thailand and then they had to take that out. Yeah. So it wasn't that version, but I had a essay due when I was in university and it was like, you had to have like 15 sources cited. It was a, and it was like a 20 page

essay. How many sources did you have before the energy? Zero. Zero. Okay. It was a night before. Zero sources. Yeah. Like it was, it was like the day before I started at like 3 PM and it was due like at 3 PM.

Well, I think I, cause I've worked night shift. So I had to go do that, get through classes, start the essay. And I was like, I'll try this Red Bull as a Hail Mary, stayed up perfectly awake 24 hours, like not even finished the essay. On one Red Bull? One Red Bull. Wow. And then I remember telling a guy, an older guy I worked with and he's like, that's a slippery slope, be careful.

And sure enough, he was right. What did you take in college? I did two degrees, English and political science, and I was gonna go to law school, and then I worked at career services between classes, and they had the job satisfaction surveys for lawyers, and it was miserable. They literally would write, one guy wrote,

don't do it, it sucks, and I hate rules, so I just didn't. Was that guy Johnny Cochran? Was it Johnny Cochran that said don't do it? No, he would say do it. Yeah, he said, you must do it. I think Cochran. Yeah, don't do it. What no he would say do it. Yeah He said well, he said you must You must do it. I think the first ten years are misery and then it you make a lot of what is Okay, I'm like we're not I

May feel like we're bouncing around but I have a vision. It has a clear vision So there was this a political science quiz, or paper that needed 15 classes? Yes, it was. How, cause I did it. Dave did it as well. I was a political science major as well. Oh wow. And I, I never understood citing sources,

history as well. But like you would have to, I would just like get a book, pull one sentence out that could apply to anything and source done source yeah one of his sources is curious well in a way with the parliament is curious liberals are sort of like the man in the yellow hat Okay, so that was your first energy drink have you always been have you been mixing and matching have you been Like have you tried them all yes? I tried them all I pay attention to sugar content caffeine content all the different ingredients But I did two years of no caffeine. I went completely off, and then I've reintroduced it

Why why we have too too much of a crutch? I just thought like, I'd lay awake at night and be like, oh my God, what is my life? And then, you know, that, that anxiety was gone. That's true, sleeping does get you out of that conversation for a while. What is with my life? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It gives you a little respite for it. What is, What is your life? Yeah, what is your life? No, so you said you took two years off caffeine. Does every energy drink have caffeine? There's some that don't, or they'll have different versions of things

that keep you awake. And some don't have caffeine. I find those don't work at all. But yeah, I've tried them all. Like literally, anytime there's a new one. How do you feel about five hour energy drink? That's crazy. I think that's just really condensed.

Like, cause people complain about the test taste, but it's just pure chemical. Like it's a caffeine. Right. You know, it's like H2O is a chemical, my friend. Could you cite your source on that? Curious Joy. That's our way of the water.

It's from the Little Mermaid. And you're on a whole year, no drinking. Yeah, yeah. How's it going so far? We're pretty good. I think, yeah, it's, because I did a lot of drinking before, so I would lose weeks or months. So it's nice just to have the consistency of,

yeah, not doing that. And for a while, I'm kind of proud of myself because even before when I would stop drinking, I'd be like, oh, I can't perform as well sober. Like I just can't, it would always be in my head. And then this time it just kind of isn't. I don't, I'm just like, oh, just go tell jokes. So that was, that's nice too,

to prove to yourself it's not needed. Yeah. Yeah. Have you- It's not the money yet, but. Yeah. Yeah. Not sure. Have you? Not yet. Not sure. Have you had Prime? Is it an energy drink? The Paul Brothers, yeah. Is that what it is? It's the Paul Brothers?

It's one of them. Oh, okay. Because I see it everywhere. I see it now at like, they have it at the place where I get my skates sharpened. Yeah. That's perfect. It should be that in Rev, yeah. But they, because that one had trouble getting to Canada too. There was too much caffeine content and all these like things.

And I think that one's interesting cause it's loaded with like B vitamins, but there's no rules on how much B vitamins you can put into things. So it's like 20,000% your daily intake. And they say they might not even be soluble or water just passes through anyway. Well, in Canada, it can get through easily because the people in charge are like, you had us at Beeve. Okay. Okay.

Beeve. Beeve. Beeve. That's pretty good. Beeve vitamins. Have you guys heard of, you guys know Mr. Beast, right? I know Mr. Beeve. Yes.

Mr. Beast has his own line of chocolate marks. Yeah. They're having for sale at the local drugstore. I'm curious as hell. I heard about Mr. Beast a couple of years ago and he was already the most famous YouTuber in the world. Yeah. And I was like, oh, this guy's gonna look amazing.

I can't even, we're all like, this guy's gonna look like a man. This guy's gonna look out of this world. What are you thinking about? I can't even like we're all like Beast is mr. Yeah, he's the most popular guy So what did you pick it really good Jack? I didn't do anything. I was I was ready for a little cold Yeah, I just had a blank slate in my mind. I was like be Yeah, I'm ready for you. Mr. Bees.'m ready. And then I saw him like, this is the most normal guy I've ever seen. What is, like, because we live in this, you know, everyone on TikTok is like beautiful and young, is like the most popular people are all,

and then you get Mr. Beast, you're like, I could not. Yeah. There's no star power emitting from this man. Yeah, but yet he's the biggest star. What is his deal? He does a lot of, what do you know Mr. B? He gives away money. He gives away money and he also does these very high,

not high stakes, but like. I did see he did a thing, but this was after he was famous. He did a thing where he got like 100 people in a room and one from every age. Yeah, and put them all in different cubes. Zero to 100, yeah. He did that, he buried himself for like a week in like a coffin that had no oxygen, he was dead.

He almost didn't. And he did that, and then yeah, he's done like elaborate charity Yeah, but you have to get bit rich and famous before you can do that. Yeah, like how do you get? Yeah That's new oh, yeah I'm gonna try it though. I'm gonna try Great. Yeah, I tried the prime What but I what I didn't realize was in New Zealand in January and they had it there That was the first time I saw it cuz I don't think it had quite come to Canada yet.

Right. And I was like, I'll try that because they have an energy drink one and they just have the bottle with the beef. But I brought it to a kids party, which was a major mistake because they freaked out. They were like, I guess it was a huge thing. But then they told me when it first came in to New Zealand a kid at the school the locals because My wife from a small island why I guess is like one school on it. Oh, yeah, yes from a small island But they also there's somebody bottom like $15 a piece and then you'd sell them at school for $20 And then it was like a huge hustle underground and you wanted all the different flavors

and then it just came out in stores for five bucks and everyone lost. It was a lesson in losing their money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, lesson in economics. You know, good for, ha, did you ever have a kid like that at your school who would like buy Costco candy and then sell it off? No, we had a guy making fake IDs.

Yeah, yeah, did they look good? Yeah. Yeah. Were where they one like were they on plastic or were they like old school? This is I think they were drivers licenses Like it was that long ago that in the 90s you right drivers licenses were like a cutout picture Yeah And he would like set up in the school. He would put up a blue background on like. At the school? In the hallway, yeah. Wow.

Your picture's never good on your. That's true, that's true. Did he, was it just a normal camera? I guess so, it was the 90s. It was pre-digital, so who knows. It was grunge. It was a grunge camera. Your Pearl Jam fan club.

Yeah. Do you still have it have it you still have your big I didn't get one no let's go over the side of parties I didn't drink alcohol until I was of age and I took a year off do you do okay at shows now? Like after a show you're like, oh, this is boring. Life is considerably more boring. And I find the after is the hardest part of hanging out, especially when other people

are just progressively getting wasted. And then kind of just, but I still enjoy people drinking. And there's just a certain point where you're like, oh, they're like not making sense now. And I remember when I was boozing, like there comes a point in the night too, where you're like, Hey, this is, we're going for it. And then if there's somebody sober, you probably, they're also like, yeah, you might as well just not reminding us of something. Yeah, I know you remind us of tomorrow.

So have you had liquid death? Yeah. The water is just water. Yes. Water. Yeah. Have you had it? Yeah. That guy's made like, just water, right? Yeah, just water, yeah. Have you had it? Yeah, that guy's made like a billion dollars.

I mean, well, look at him. He's the most amazing looking guy. He is a pretty good looking guy. But it's just, I think the idea is like, it's a tall boy of water. Yeah. And some of them are flavored, some of them aren't. And then, I guess one isn't.

How many unflavored waters could you have? Yeah. Uh. But I think the idea is like if you're sober and you still want to like walk around with something in your hand at a party. Oh, okay. Yeah.

And it's in a carton, it's not in a bottle. No, it's a can. It's a can. Oh, it's a can. Tall boys, yeah. Maybe also there's not the plastic seepage people are worried about that. Sure.

That might be positive. Yeah. I think we're past the point of worry about that. I know. We should. Can you imagine being on Shark Tank or Dragon's Den and them saying like, here's the bitch, water in a can. Yeah.

And that's it. I can't watch Shark Tank. Why? I like, it makes me, it makes my skin crawl that they have to like, talk to Kevin O'Leary. Yeah. Yeah. That's the first challenge. And also like, if I found out that a product I liked

went on Shark Tank, I'd be like, I can't have it anymore. Knowing that the people who made this product had to do like a high energy presentation. Did you see when Yuck Yucks pitched them? No, when Dragon's Dead. Yeah. What happened? They pitched, I think the pitch was when you call and you're put on hold with music, they would just do Yuck Yucks comedy. Yes. Nobody invested. What's the money model in that? It's stuff we already have and we just wanna put it more places.

But it's like, if you're somebody who puts somebody on hold, it's like, well, I could just have nothing. I could have nothing, you just sit there and quiet or, you know, generic, you know, jazzy music or whatever. My doctor has generic jazzy music and then occasionally, and then it'll switch up for a second and then makes you think he's about to answer not him feel good but it's all doctor well we were talking a few weeks ago how my

favorite genre of music is listing different types of girls yeah yours is songs about going to the doctor yeah Yeah, yeah. Go to the witch doctor. Hey doctor. Yeah, doctor, doctor, give me the news. I went to the doctor, closer to fine by the Indico girls. Yes, and anything by the spin doctor. They also include their catalog. What's your favorite genre of music? Oh man, I'd guess like vengeance on your enemies and beefs. Oh, yeah. What would be like your number one vengeance song? I guess like maybe like 21 Savage, No Heart. Okay, okay.

Sing it, sing it for us. Pulled up, pulled the window down. Did you do a drive-by? He makes those sounds too. But it's just so funny to be working in an office job but listening to like drill rap of murders. Yeah. But everybody in your office listens,

you just put it on the intercom, everybody's listening to that drill rap. That would be great. Can you be quiet, I'm trying to listen to the yuck yucks on hold. Get into the punch line. Also, yeah, they could cut you off mid-joke. Or you join a joke in the middle and you're like, what are we laughing at?

That's right. Can you put me back on hold? That was great. That was their... Oh, man, I gotta see if that's on YouTube. It is. It's quick though. You know how they do like real pitches and then there's like three duds?

It was in that segment. It was in the death segment, yeah. Who? Is it Mark yeah. Who is it? Mark Breslin pitching it? No, but I think it might have been Tony Corolla, but I can't remember. Yeah, there's some Toronto guys. I can't remember.

Yeah, I love the dud section where it's like, Margerid, but blue. And you're like, well, yeah. Well, we have that already. Yeah. Or just somebody's like prototype that they made, little robot they were following. They've invested their whole life into it. The thing I've watched, I've watched like three episodes of it.

I used to come on after, what would you do with John Kenyonyas? I don't know what that is. Oh, John Kenyonyyes, what would you do? Well, it started off as a segment on 2020. And then John Kenyon-yes got his own show. Oh yeah, I know that one, you're right. And you're like- Like the moral dilemma.

Yeah, it's like your hidden camera show and like someone's yelling at their girlfriend in a bar and you're like, what do you do? I forgot. There, I'll tell you what I do. I'm walking out of the bar. That's the video of me doing it. What would I do?

I don't know. No, but they're yelling encouragement at their girlfriend. Oh, then I would just stand there and take note. Hey. Yeah, that's true. I just automatically think that the alien's wrong. That shows something about you. What would you do?

Yeah, was also, to catch a predator. Was that a spinoff or was that its own? That might've been a spinoff of Dateline. Well, man, that show ruled. Remember that show? Yeah. What was your favorite predator? I like when the people would get busted twice.

Like they're back again and they're like, ah, shit. You got me again. It's like what? It was good. I know. Or when they try to run and then they get tackled. Yeah. But like the guys who stay and talk, I'm like, what is the best case scenario? You're going to talk your way out of this? Like, oh yeah, okay, well, you were here, just deliver a pizza to some kid. Yeah, it was just free.

I did like that they would always have like a, the like agent would be like a young looking adult. Yeah. Who would just be like, I'll be right there. Yeah, and she always had a laundry basket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, yeah. And like a hat with a spinning propeller on top. Big lollipop.

I'm a child. The guys are like, oh, nice. Yes. Yeah, and the guys who were like, I gotta go. Yeah, they get tackled immediately. They didn't really show the tackling as much, or did they? They did, yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah, that was a big few angles, but yeah, I think, because I think that's smart, just the less screen time, like just get out, but the guys at St. Antioch, you're right, it was hilarious. Yeah, yeah. Because they're thinking, maybe if I stay calm, I get out of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe if I just- Chris Hansen is here, but I'm smarter than Chris Hansen.

Oh, he's reading everything I typed? Oh no. Yeah, I do. Oh no, he's looking through this grocery bag full of booze and condoms. Good, good, good, good. Well, I'm going to run. Here I go.

Oh. So certainly he's not gonna be able to tackle me. Oh man, you know that's the prime assignment at the police department. Ha ha ha. Who wants to tackle a predator? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I don't know what to do with it today actually, give it a whirl. There are three bucks a bar. Really? Yeah. Wow.

It's a pretty big bar though, right? Is it like Wonka size? No, it looked pretty mid. Oh really, okay. Three bucks. Yeah. Yeah, everything's kind of 250 anyway. But here's the thing at the drug store

around the corner from us. The like lint fancy chocolate bunnies. They were originally $18 in the Easter run, and then they marked them down to 15, then 10, they're down to five now. I bet you there's still some there, I bet you they've marked them down to four or something. You texted me that a week or two ago.

Yeah, did you go? No, they're not my thing. Oh, fair enough, I just wanted to spread the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I noticed that, because it used to be like the day after, it was not my thing. Oh, fair enough. I just wanted to spread the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I noticed that, because it used to be like the day after it was 50% off at least. And then, yeah, but now, yeah, they slowly. I think the prices are just so insane with everything now

that it's gotta come down significantly to be a deal. Yeah, yeah. And I've done, I tried to do it with the Spirit Halloween store, like on November 1st, it's gone. Like it's, yeah, they packed everything up. Right, because there's no buffer. It's just there at first and then done. But like, what would you get?

Like a spooky- Wear a clown mask. Okay. Because usually you would do, you know, Halloween candy the next day. Yes. But that's not, Spirit Halloween doesn't do that. I think I get a jump on next year's costume.

Yeah. Even though it would be next year's costume. Yeah. Even though it would be last year's costume, people would know, oh, he's wearing the scarecrow from last year. Oh, Walter White. Oh yeah. That was a pretty easy costume, Baldwin in one of the flight thing.

Once with a girl I was dating, we did Walter and Jesse, and then just made out the whole night, which was pretty fun. That is fun. Yeah. Have you, is that the only time you've been in a couple's costume? Um, no, I've done a, well, my wife and I now we actually met at, uh, the, uh, well, we, it was, she had a party in the theme party and the board game clue

that that was the theme for that year. Oh fun. For Halloween. And then, so her and her roommate at the time had reached out and they're like, would you be Colonel Mustard? And I was like, yeah, absolutely. Would you read for Colonel Mustard? Yeah.

And they did actually have a pre-party, like where I had to play Clue because I wasn't familiar with the board. I mean, I know it, but I've never played it. And then they're like, we'll buy your costume. I'm like, no, no, I'll get my costume. And then I Googled Colonel Mustard costume and the first result was a big mustard. So I was like, oh, this is great. Yeah. And it just said mustard. So I bought it and just worked Colonel on the time. They do like a photo shoot of everyone in.

And then, yeah, I just showed up in the mustard thing and I was so excited for Sophia. She was doing a show. So she was coming late. Like literally for two weeks, I was so excited for Sophia. She was doing a show, so she was coming late. Yeah. Like literally for two weeks, I couldn't wait. Yeah. Yeah. For this and everyone else that was in the thing thought it was funny. And then she showed up and I was like, and she was like, oh yeah. Okay.

And then I was like, how do you not think this is the funniest thing? Yeah. Uh, or just, yeah. Um, the funniest thing are the other people. She was miss Scarlett. Yeah. Professor plum. Yeah. Uh, Mr. White. Who are the other people? She was Miss Scarlett. Professor Plum? Yeah.

Mr. White? Walter White? Walter White, sure. Mean Joe Green. I mean, Jesse Pinkman would. Oh yeah, Walter White and Jesse Pinkman. We do, driving in the car, my kids now will do, we play car rainbow. Okay.

And you try to find a car of every color of the rainbow. It's a good, very fast car game because you can get six of those seven colors in one block. Yeah. Do you find Indigo? Is that the hard one? Purple. Purple, yeah. Hard to find a purple car.

Saw a purple car yesterday. It's notable. Oh, was it on Cambie? It was. Yeah, we saw it yesterday. to find a purple car. Saw a purple car yesterday. It's notable. Oh, was it on Camby? It was. Yeah, we saw it yesterday. Shiny, shiny purple car. It was the purplest car we ever saw. And then we immediately were like, okay, let's start the game.

Yeah, purple, check mark. Yeah, I'm trying to think of a joke, like a joke where I was like, this is a joke that's gonna pay off two weeks from now or whatever. Oh yeah. Sitting on a joke and then getting kind of minimal. Yeah.

Minimal response. I think so, yeah. But then when Sophia, when I was like, I was like, why don't you think it's funny? She's like, oh, I'm getting kicked out of the country, potentially my visa. And I was like, oh, just marry me. And then that's how that.

And that's how you got married. Yeah. Yeah, was a, not a marriage of convenience. Is that what you say? Yeah. Illegality. Illegality? Yeah.

Did you have to go just like run down to City Hall and do it or? We tried to do the best planning. Well, that was because we kind of planned that out and I was like, yeah, you know, then then we could just get divorced. I just thought it'd be hilarious to be divorced too. Oh, yeah. That's a fun year. And it would fit me because I was like in a basement.

Take off that year of drinking and get back into drinking. Yeah, I was like in a basement suite and my bed was on the floor so I was like perfect, like that would fit. But yeah, then she's like, okay, let's talk about it. And then she was just like, I think we should actually date because it's illegal to do that. And so he's like a very genuine kind of sweeper so I was like okay let's do that. So you started at the high point and worked your way back. Yeah yeah yeah. Huh. Yeah. Interesting. Have you seen Green Card? No. Gerard de Bardoux, very funny. Green is the warmest card. What is the, I mean I can guess what the plot is.

Did you not see it? No. Oh, hey, he was more of a my father, the hero. Oh, sure. Yeah, he marries Andy McDowell. Big step up for him. I know. Well, he was this was the peak of his North American career.

Yeah. And I got a pretty they got to fake it till they make it. They got to convince the government that they're married and then they gotta fake it till they make it. They gotta convince the government that they're married. And then they fall in love. I guess so. Well, that's how it would have been for you. Now, is there? Yeah, yeah.

My wife tells us it's much more romantic the way she tells the story. I emphasize the Colonel Mustard is like my favorite. But also like, I mean, if you're gonna be kicked out of the country, if you're in a bad mood Don't throw a party. Yeah Literally found out on the walk to the part like yeah, like it was she got an email or something government here Yeah, surprise. I'm getting kicked out of the country

I think it was like the lawyer had said like yeah, you're all good and then like email being like, oh I messed up You're not good. Yeah, right. Yeah. The lawyer just had one more question. Will you marry me? Just totally pulls it from under you. There's no way she can stay in the country. The lawyer's like, yeah, just so you need to sign this document and this document and ha ha ha. Yeah.

And could you just wear this ring for a second? Now, there was a commercial where you, and so, right? Is that actual footage from your wedding day or were you playing a couple on a wedding? Do you know what I'm talking about? There was a commercial we did where, yeah, we had to go, that was a whole weird thing too. Yeah, it was, we got cast, they wanted a couple. During COVID, you had to go with your partner,

my wife's an actress, so they're just like, hey, do you wanna bring your partner along? Yeah. But then- Penny wears mustard gauze. Yeah, but they're like, yeah, you have to wear your wedding dress and all that stuff. But when we went to the wardrobe fitting,

my wife, they like loved her and they're giving her all these different outfits and stuff. And me, they put me in like a, like took pictures of a suit, took pictures of the clothes I came in, and then put me in like a 90s, way too big dress shirt, like how Michael Jordan would go to basketball games. I just stood in the corner. I was like, what am I doing? And then they came up after and they had a mood board kind of thing or what a storyboard of how the commercial is.

And then there was a picture of like a stock picture of me and my wife or a stock picture of a husband and wife. Then a quote, like it was for paper towels and toilet paper stuff. But it was like life's messy moments and then, and then pictures of us like in our actual, like just us. And then they had one for Sophia at a party because she was like crying at a party and then typical. And then, yeah, and it's like stock photo of somebody crying at a party and then this picture of Sophia in her outfit. And then it's like for life's sad. But, and it's like stock photo of somebody crying at a party and then this picture of Sophia in her outfit and then it's like, for life's sake, sad. And then I was like, what's on that wall?

And they're like, oh, don't worry about that. And then everyone left and I walked over and it was a picture of me in my street clothes and then a stock picture of a guy in a toilet and it's like for life's emergencies. And I was like, don't worry about that. So I was like, there's no way I'm doing it. It's like COVID, every, all the comics are out of work. Like the memes would have been in, I'm just going to get roasted. So I was like.

And because it was COVID, you had to bring your own toilet. That's heavy. But yeah, so I told, Sophia called her agent right away and he's like, hey, Christmas is the one. And he's like, oh yeah. And it was weird they hid it for me too. And then I went to set and then I did the wedding scene, which is in the commercial. And then after the guy came up and he's like, the director was like, Hey, there's a problem. And I was like, with what?

And he's like, the scene. I was like, no, no, it's good. I was like, Oh, cause we had to smush cake in each other's face. And it was outside cause of COVID and it was like 40 degrees summer. So all the cake was in my beard. There's no shower. So I was like, this kind of sucks, but I'm like, I'll be okay. And we're all out of paper towels, actually.

No, we're not. These are all fake. These are all Greek. But then he was like, he was like, but then he's like, no, for the next scene, the toilet one. And I was like, oh, I'm not doing that. And it turned into a big, like radioing, and then nobody would talk to me.

And it was like a whole huge thing. Flying in the toilet, toilet scene, in a way. But he's like, why wouldn't you? I'm like, I just don't want to do it. I don't feel like, cause it's, the scene was like, you're at a house party and you have to go number two. And I was like, if that happened to me, real, I would go home. I'd be like, Oh, I made a mistake. I wouldn't, I was like, well, can you method act as a guy who wouldn't go home? Picture it as your home toilet and go.

But yeah, then it was a whole thing. They're like, why don't you want to do it? And then I felt like Larry David, where I was like, I'm not right. You know, like it was like a curb your thing where it's like, am I the asshole here? But yeah. Have you been on a, like a lot of commercials? Cause I feel like that's- Only one. Oh, cause I think that's like a director thing where they're like, well, why don't you do

this? Why don't you do that? You're already here. Yeah, they slowly kind of trap you into something humiliating like. Yeah, and I think most actors are like, yeah, I'll do it because you don't want to reputate. But I was like not acting, so I'm like, I don't care at all. I just want to ruin my wife's reputation.

Yeah, I know. I was worried about that. But then long, long later, like the producer found out and was like, oh, I'm so sorry that happened and got like a gift certificate to a really fancy restaurant. So it all kind of came full circle. Did you smoosh cake into each other's face at the restaurant? Did they put something in there that made you have to go to the bathroom right away?

Yeah. And then a film crew, I was like, oh. Because we're going to get it one way or the other. The guys like, he was even like, we can film it so they don't see your face. And I was like, people still, I'm like, I just don't want to do it. I don't feel comfortable with it. Yeah. They were like, what? Like, what? But the commercial was more, it wasn't that type of commercial. Like it seemed like it was kind of more like a celebration kind of ad.

Yeah. Like the fact that, like there are, I don't know, hundreds of toilet paper ads a year. Yeah. And none of them feature anyone sitting on a toilet. No. And also like you see that and you're like, oh yeah, I need like, why do you have to sell? They're just like me. Yeah. I know and also like you see that you're like, oh, yeah, I need like why But then there was a dude from al salvador who I was like chatting with beside me and then he's like I'm gonna do it and I was like no the producer director guy And he's like, how about you and he's like TP let's go and just like I was like now I really feel like a jerk but they ended up using a lady in the like a separate its own ad

No lady with her like child handing her toilet paper. Oh, remember that commercial? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was really beautiful. But that's not what they're gonna, they're gonna like, now do a real, do a real squeezer. Yeah. Have you holding a variety of hot sauces going, uh-oh, I regret.

You should regret Rien. You know, just start grudging, we'll run the cameras. Yeah. I regret. I regret re-en. You know, just start grudging, we'll run the cameras. Well, we'll just add grunts. Bring in the gorilla. Just every possible different thing. Okay, it's time you're at a party, you know, when I'm in here. Go. Somebody opens the door, you're scared. But I feel like that would have been out of character for that ad, at least the way I

remember the ad. Like it was wedding and fun and then like crunching it up. Yeah, even the director like when the cake's mushy, he's like, do it more, get it in there. And then she like put it all in my hair. I'm like, fuck, like if somebody did a wedding, I'd be pissed. But, you ruin that what so you but then after he was like look man. He's like what what's the hold-up? He's like dude. It's a toilet paper commercial like you're in a what and I was like you are too This sucks for you worse than me like this is your actual career, but Yeah, the have you ever been to a cake-smashing wedding no No. No, because I don't think I have either. No.

No, I don't think so. No, like it feels like it's a- When we got married, we were like specifically like we- We're not doing a cake-smashing. Yeah, we're not doing the, don't do that to me. Yeah. Yeah. We have a lasagna, we'll do it at home. Yeah.

Yeah, no, it's just, I've never, I know it's like a trope of weddings. And I've seen it go wrong like on YouTube videos and stuff. We did the thing where, you know, where you, like you get a fork full of cake and you like, we do it through each other's arms. Oh, that's fine.

Interlock arms, but then we did it like three or four times around our arms, because we have like very elastic bones. Yeah, it's like that. And I've never been to a wedding where it's like that. And I've never been to a wedding where it's like the big like, you know, at the top of a cake, like a guy wearing a ball and chain. I've never been to like that kind of shitty kind of wedding. I would still remember when it was years ago, but where it was the parents were divorced of the groom.

And it was her first time seeing each other since the divorce. And I think that it was like a bad, like where the dad had gone to Vegas and got like an STD from a hooker and like that up like a whole, and they both used their speeches passive aggressively to talk about each other. And it was the most entertaining wedding ever. Like it was a night and that couple, I think lasted like a month, like the actual couple. But it was so uncomfortable. I was like, yeah, like the actual time, but it was so uncomfortable.

I was like, yeah, like it was like a prank show level of uncomfortable. Like what would you do? Right, yeah. Don Quignone's, the ultimate prank show. Watch his name not even be there. Well, what was the most like uncomfortable thing at a wedding?

Oh, I think when I was like 13, my cousin got married and the DJ was like, all right, everyone, all the men get on the dance floor and get the bride out there as well. And then he played a song that was like, I knew the bride when she used to rock and roll. And then that lasted about 10 seconds and she was like, no. This is horrible. And then I've never been to, I don't think I've seen a bouquet thrown

or certainly not the garter. I've seen a bouquet. I think they might've done like, at my aunt's wedding, they might've done the garter. Yeah, it's a very slutty 80s thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's like a little something for the fellas. Yeah.

Take it off with your teeth. And then take it off with your own teeth. Yeah. The late teeth? The pride? Yeah. Check out what I can do, I don't need you. Well yeah, it's like, I went to one where the DJ,

it was like old school DJ, but like just on the crossover between when you had to have CDs and just MP3 player. And he didn't have the wedding song. He didn't have like the first dance. Oh, okay. And then he played like a last Morissette song instead. There was no where he was supposed to. Oh, everybody was so pissed off. Not me though, I barely knew the verse.

Yeah. That was cool without one, Dad. I like that Alanis Morrisette song. You marry, you learn. Yeah. You hopefully don't divorce, you learn. What was the one on the second album that was like, every lyric was a run on sentence about her ex,

like it was a list of her ex-boyfriends. Oh. And in a video, she had a bunch of different wigs for different eras of her life. That sounds pretty good. I didn't fucking rule this, man. She's not just like, I mean, she's a supposed former infatuation junkie.

Yeah. She's, she's to date Ryan Reynolds. I mean, she's a supposed former infatuation junkie. Yeah. She's a, she's to date Ryan Reynolds. I know. Vancouver's hero. Vancouver's number one son. Alanis Morissette. Yeah. And Dave Coulier.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. All the greats. Yeah. All the great funny men of their era. Handsome funny men. Yeah.

Let's see. It's pretty clear she has a type. Speaking of DJs, it reminded me, from my work, I used to hire, do you know Brent Constantine? Yeah. I would hire him as our DJ for work parties, but he would just bring his laptop and like a mixer thing that's not plugged in and just like play songs for years. And everyone's like that guy, because we hired a professional DJ and he played too much weird music and then I just hired Brent to play, basically requests.

But they loved it, like that's the best DJ you've ever. Oh yeah, like I had my wife's friend worked at, it used to be called The Rage, I'm not sure what it's called anymore, it's like a crazy dance club down in the- Bring your fake IDs for sure. Oh, absolutely, Fake ID central. Yeah, here down at.

Plaza of Nations? Plaza of Nations, yeah. And they had Polly D doing a DJ set. They were like, we got all your stuff set up for you and what needs to be plugged into what? And he's like, I just use an iPod. Like I just plug it in and dance around. Yeah, there's no setup for that.

Put my hands in the air. Yeah. Jim Downey laundry boo boo boo boo yeah I saw Paris Hilton DJ at Rifflandia this last September she did the same in Victoria yeah she's like touring yeah yeah yeah I know and it was great like it was I mean it was clearly she wasn't doing anything to DJ and there's weird pauses and stuff but they had drones that went to the music and the whole production yeah I mean it was it was clearly she wasn't doing anything to DJ and there was weird pauses and stuff, but they had drones that went to the music and the whole production.

So it was like, yeah, I mean, it was way better than what I thought it might be. The Coachella went on last week and I feel like the coolest thing was no doubt. And for me, the uncoolest thing was Will Smith doing Men in Black. Oh, really? Yeah, just like, I don't know.

What did he, oh, I didn't see it. He did the Men in Black song. He like went and did it. Live? Yeah, yeah? Yeah. Just like, I don't know. What did he, oh, I didn't see it. What did he do? He did the Men in Black song. He like went and did it. Live? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he's really trying to get back. I disagree. I think that's so cool.

He slapped an alien in the face. Yeah, well, it's fine. That's so funny. I mean, it's weird that you even remember that because he took out the thing. Yeah, that's right. Took out the brain scrambler. But he's a galaxy defender.

He always has been. That's true. He's defending the galaxy against Chris Rock. No, that's cool. That's a cool thing to do. I also saw Grimes, all Grimes's gear broke. Maybe a certain tech billionaire sabotaged it using technology. Turned off the Wi-Fi.

Shit, it's all connected to the Wi-Fi. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, not a heck of a lot. So my kids are now seven and nine and they're getting into riddles. Oh really? Like brain teaser style things. Right. And I love that, but I'm also like,

you know when you see a video of like a dad playing basketball with his kid and the kid goes to make a layup and the dad just swats, swats the basketball away? Yeah. I'm that way with my kids' riddles. Right. My kids will be like, okay, this is a word. What word starts with an E, ends with an E, and only has one letter in it?

Envelope, it's envelope. I'm like, so fast at these things. How would a kid even know about letters and envelopes? That's unfair. That's like, it's unfair to them. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like they don't know letters, they don't know envelopes. We ever get a brain teasers, brain ticklers?

Probably not, no, not particularly, I don't think. Yeah. Yeah, even that one, when you said the answer right away, I wouldn't have had to think about it for a few days. The other one was like. Yeah, I wouldn't have got it. Yeah The other one was like how many months have 28 days and I was like all of them Oh, yeah, you are gonna be I just heard them all before but then so I gave her the old our favorite riddle About the father and a son

I gave her the old, our favorite riddle about a father and a son were in an accident and the dad died and the son was brought to the hospital and brought into the operating room and the doctor came in and said, I can't operate on this child, he's my son. How did that happen? How did that happen? And the kids were like, huh, hmm, huh, no, I don't know.

What is it? And I said, the doctor is a woman. They also the mom. And they're like, oh, and they asked the like the complete correct question that I don't think enough people ask when they hear that riddle, which is, well, why can't you operate on your child? That's true, yeah. Like, what if you're the only qualified?

You wanna be impartial? Yeah. My son's heart is so good, look at it. Look at it. Yeah. Taking pictures the whole time. Yeah, why wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah.

It's not like representing your kid in court or something. Yeah, there's no, like, if you were in's not like representing your kid in court or something. Yeah, there's no like, if you were in the wilderness and your kid's leg was broken or whatever, I can't do a tourniquet on you, son. You're my child. That is a great question. I never thought of that in a million years. It was hospital policy. But yeah, I certainly't have gotten any, I certainly wouldn't have got the envelope one.

The 28 days one I might have. I mean, I only got the envelope one because I heard it. Like I didn't, I can't figure these out either. So is this like in a book form or where they get it? YouTube, I think. Oh, okay. And on YouTube, they just give you the question and they don't give you the answer?

Is that how it works? No, no, they get it all. They watch a few things. They watch YouTube on the TV screen so we can watch it at the same time. But we don't listen to every damn riddle. No, that's true. But they did it for a while where they would have it on a reel or something and it would just be the riddle question.

And some of them might sit there for like half an hour trying to figure it out. Yeah, wide awake. Yeah, but I'd go on Gerana day three and then there's no answer. They're just like, is it impossible Riddle? And then you never, and I was like, oh, after that I just gave up on Riddle's entirely. Yeah. Yeah, because I think it's just to get you to watch it forever. And then Poppy did one to me where it was, they'll sometimes do this thing that's like,

this is from Bluey, which is, okay, what's your name? Graham. What's this? He knows, I know, your knows. What's in my hand? Nothing. Graham knows nothing. Ah, shit, I walked right into that.

And so Poppy did this to me, she goes, what's your name? Dave. Okay, complete the sentence. She blank to the mall. I was like, went? And she says, what's something that comes out of your butt that is brown and stinky? Brown and stinky.

And I said, poo? And she says, okay, I'm just gonna change went to is. What? Dave is poo. Just do some adjustments here. I didn't think this through. I thought the sentence would be Dave or she is to the mall. Yeah. Think of something, hot brownie that you accidentally drop in the toilet.

No, no, no, no, no. What were you doing in that commercial? Yeah. The toilet paper commercial. Yeah, I remember. One time, you know these like riddles will come out once in a while. It's like only genius level people have been able to crack

these riddles will come out once in a while and a little like add on a. No, no, no, no. Like one of these like really like brain twister ones and I remember myself and my former roommate, Sean Proudlove, we like buckled down, we're like, we're gonna spend the whole day on this thing. I think we spent like a few hours and we're like, fuck yeah, we're not geniuses.

Like, do you remember what it was? It was like this multiple people, if that person is this, and that person's visiting that, and this person can only do this, and it was matching up. There's all possibilities, there was no trick out of it. And then Good Will Hunting came in and he was like,

he was cleaning our apartment. This shit's easy for me. See how, do you know how easy this is? Yeah, he didn't even come over and clean, he just showed up to make fun of us. That's what happens if you give up the riddle. Yeah. He comes in and gets your girlfriend's phone number

and enjoys apples about it. Yeah, is that what happens in the movie? He gets the number of a guy's girlfriend or a guy that he likes the girl. How does- They're both hitting on the same girl. Yeah. And she's Minnie Driver.

Right. Have you seen this movie? Yes. Good Will Hunting? Yeah, do you love it? I did at the time I did I think I was you know, maybe my teens But then I it was weird too because I think the guy like the how about them apples guy He's yelling at was also serial from the show Oz. Yeah, he played like a really different character So if that was weird for me, yeah, you know like one character or he's brothers with the other guy from Oz. Yeah Right. Yeah. Yeah. You know like one character or guy. His brother's with the other guy from Oz. Yeah.

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. JK Simmons I feel is like the one guy where I'm like, you got out of that Oz role. Yeah, you did. Like you really, you were able to live, because there's a lot of guys like that guy was on Oz. That guy was on Oz, yeah.

Oh, the guy, his brother is the guy who dated Liz Lemon for years on 30 Rock. Yeah, yeah, cool. And now he's in those insurance commercials. Yeah, insurance on the car. Yeah. In front of the car, yeah. Yeah, that guy rules. Yeah.

There was a guy from Oz that was like a pretend, he was an undercover agent, he was the boss on the wire. He was like the guy. Sure, oh yeah. That's close enough though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. It just kind of moved people from the wire. Yeah, yeah back and forth But then yeah, was it Keller was like the mega rapist dude

And then now he's like then he was like the SVU main detective for like 15 years never watched Oz It's I think it's probably I tried to watch it a couple of I think it up with Yeah, it was I think it was like groundbreaking, but I think looking back on it now, it's not as, Yeah. It's kind of shot on video and it kind of looks grimy. Right. It's not fun to watch over.

It was like just before the golden age of TV. Yeah. Like it was the one step away from, and I watched it when I was a teenager because it was on Showcase and that was Friday night. Watched a little Oz, hoped to see some boobs in a movie. when I was a teenager, because it was on Showcase, and that was Friday night, watching the Lollas, hope to see some boobs in a movie. Yeah, some sad or horny French movie.

Yeah. Yeah, it was like, today's French classic, yes. Yes. Yes. Just have to sit through like hours of them like peddling a bike through the country. Yeah. Come on, come on.

What was the movie? So when I was in high school, we did, like I went to a French immersion school and you get two electives every year, one in English and one in French. And the English elective, I always did drama. But in French, it was like one year, it was like paper arts,

and we did like marbling paper, it was pretty cool. Yeah, it sounded pretty cool. And then one year we did a film class, French film class, and the teacher just gave us a list of 100 movies we've never heard of before, and we got to pick 10 to watch and they were And we all just like we went through the list and we're like, okay, but this one might have boobs this one might Breast matter breast

And there was one we watched and it was oh, I mean the best one we watched was man on day souls but a Sexy lady dancing in like a waterfall. That's great. What does it translate to? Manon of the waterfall. Yeah. Nice.

And then I think there's another one we watched called Jermy Now, which was like a, about forming a union. Oh no. Yeah. There's no boobs in that at all. Yeah. But I think there was one where we're like,

I feel like there was one, it might've been this movie, but there was a closeup shot of a nipple. And we were like, huh, oh, is that it? Nope, that's a man's nipple. And he is literally using a needle to sew into his own skin. Jesus Christ. That's as far away from an egg lady as you can get. Yeah. Also what was that teacher thinking? Basically he had to go off like a porno handbook. It was a hundred? See if you, that's the riddle. Yeah but it's French man, it's culture. That's true, they're allowed to just experiment over there, not uptight like us. Yeah. You know they French, man. It's culture. That's true. They're allowed to just experiment over there,

not uptight like us. Yeah. You know, they will go on a toilet, no problem, if the director says so. At a drop of a hat, they'll jump on the toilet. Just don't make them wipe. I won't bathe, I won't wipe. Can I smoke on the toilet?

Anyway, enjoying riddles, but I wanna ask you what you're doing because you had a big weekend. Big weekend. I did a 24 hour comedy show. You were one of the writers, you were one of the writers. And you were there and you were there. And it was hard.

This, in previous times I wasn't as old and so it was easier then. Now I'm as old as I am now. Woo, standing for 24 hours, not as easy as it once was. Yeah, I was very impressed. I was impressed by two things. One, I thought you handled some of the drunk. I was there the 11 to 1, 11 PM to 1 AM Friday night shift. So maybe that-

Steffi, were you there for Steffi? Yeah, I caught the end of Steffi and then it was Nick, the New Zealand guy that was suspiciously Australian. The New Zealand guy that turned out to be Australian. Yeah. But I thought your patience was like just how you handled constant kind of heck, it was incredible. What did you do to have patience?

You were like, oh my God, you wanna get this going? You got nothing but patience. You're like, do you want a child to burn? But you just were, yeah, you were very kind to the, even repeated attempts. You're just like, oh, okay. Ooh, Steffi. Steffi was a woman in the front row that was British.

Well, there was three, there was three together. There was a gentleman looking for love, a woman that was engaged to get married, and Steffi. And so Steffi was- Steffi was wasted. Yeah, Steffi was wasted. Her friends weren't at all, so she went harder than them. But she wasn't shouting stuff out,

but she was kind of like sassy remarks here and there, but she wasn't spoiling anything. But she was right there for her role. And so I let her tell a story into the microphone about a place called Blackpool, which is like a resort town in England. And her story went nowhere. It went nowhere. It was about taking a bus, going home, doing a wash,

getting back on the bus. That was the whole story. That's fun. And she smelled so much like onions. Then that was like, that became a running thing that Stephie smells like onions. She had to do it. Because she, her other friends left.

And then like half an hour later, Ren Constantine, who runs the whole venue, got on the microphone and he's like, Stephie just logged onto the live feed. So Stephie went home, watched the thing. And then at the very, in the very last slot, she came back down and gifted me, had an onion all wrapped up,

but got me unwrapping on stage. Was she wasted or was she sobered up? No, she totally sobered up. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. It was like seeing Stephie in a whole new light. She smelled good this time around, yeah. But she brought an onion, which I brought home. And I didn't, you know, it's not, yeah, why not?

You still got it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you sign it? Yeah. It's like paper. Keep reaching for the, yeah. So Steffi, yeah, the New Zealander, there was a woman right off the top

that was talking to me, like within the first minute, I was like, oh, this is, you gotta, yeah. There were very nice people in the audience who were like, you gotta not do this. And she left, she left right away, which is- Yeah. I was surprised Nick left too. He just like- Yeah, we made fun of him and then he left.

He was like, I'm staying here all night. And then he went to get another drink and never came back. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Were we worried about him? He went to get a drink and never came back. I know. I think that was the one joke I wrote that got read during,

cause there was a lot in the bucket, but was that he was sleeping in the walls with raccoons. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Where he went with- Wait, only one of your jokes got read? In the time I was there. In the two hours?

Yeah. Like I think the rest got read later. Sure. But it was just not, yeah, it was weird. Wow, that's a lot of things in the bucket. Yeah, there were a lot of things in the bucket. There were, yeah. I brought like a stack of joke books and a Herman book. And I thought it was gonna have,

because years passed and I had to like. I remember that, yeah, they'd go full time. We were like firing them in there. Cause I, well, I did two hours and I did the Saturday afternoon three to five, I think. And it was, you write a joke and you're like, oh, well, oh, like the jokes are usually about a previous joke.

Yeah. Like they kind of fold in on themselves. And then sometimes you put one in and you're like, oh, that one got read right away. Oh, that one actually wasn't supposed to be read until that first one got read. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there was one that I think I laughed so hard at,

I think you laughed really hard at it too, because it was a person like missing the mark by two things. Do you remember what it was? Yeah, it was about, there was an ongoing thing about Jay Leno as Joker. And so one of the jokes was like, have you seen these guys? Yeah, you hit him with it.

Yeah, where you were, do you wanna know how I got these cars? Yeah, you know one of the, you got these cars. Yeah. And then one of the joker ones, Jay Leto, was his band leader saying, I'll play you to the break. And they got, first of all, the band leader wrong. And then second of all, got it double wrong.

Yeah, they said the band leader was Paul Scheer. Paul Scheer, which also Paul Schaefer is not the band leader The leader of her jail. That's awesome. It made me laugh so hard. Don't worry, I'll play you into the break. Paul Scheer. And then there was, my favorite genre was the serious introduction to SNL bands.

Ladies and gentlemen, fling. Yeah, an egg or whatever. And it just, the more I got up. And then there was like a whole thing about having sex with your cousin. And I thought having sex with your cousin was such a funny. It wasn't even about having sex with your cousin.

It was about fighting the really, fighting the pot. Yeah, that's right. So you did 24 hours and you would take a break every two hours? Tell me this, and like off the top, I think I only took a break after four hours. And like a 10 minute break?

Yeah. And then what do you do? You go pee-pee-poop-oo? Go pee-pee-poop-oo. Brush your teeth? I didn't brush my teeth, I changed shirts. I would change, I had like a bunch of different shirts. And I would, at one point I changed my socks.

And that was really refreshing. Yeah, the question I had was your drinking strategy. Cause I noticed the, cause I, like the Friday you had some beers. But I, I probably, I mean, I would have just either been drunk the whole entire time or not drank the first night and then started it up maybe 10 AM. Well, you, you, to you 24 hours is nothing.

You and your 72 hours. Wakes me up. Yeah, on the revs. I should have brought you a rev, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have, so you drank booze at night? I drank beer up until about like 11 o'clock and then I switched off and it was all water and then, oh, and coffee.

I had some coffee. You never did an energy drink? Never did an energy drink because I feel like when I have them, do you remember the movie, oh shit, the one with Jason Statham where he's gotta keep his heart. Crank. Crank. Yeah, it feels like crank. When I have an energy drink,

it just feels like my heart's like, da-da-da. Yeah, that's what I live for. Yeah. Yeah. How many energy drinks do you drink in a week? I just do one a day. One a day? Yeah. One a day. Seems like seven. Seven a week. How many do you do? Oh, I just do one a day. One a day? Yeah. One a day. Seems like seven a week.

Seven a week. How many do you do? Oh, I would do one a year maximum. Yeah, I think I've had one Red Bull all last year. I might have had one Red Bull. Even that's too much for me. Yeah. I've had a Red Bull in 2002.

I think we tried a few in the early years of the podcast. We had a Red Rain. We had a Monster. And then the Vancouver Comedy Fest, once they gave us some, this kind called Beaver Buzz in our like gift bag. And they sent us all to the bathroom. To be in our maker.

Yeah. Vitamin B over here. B vitamins, sorry. Did you ever hear Dimitri Martin's joke about vitamins? No. It was good. What was it? It was like, when they were coming up with the names

of vitamins, they were like, vitamin A, I'm gonna butcher it. And then they were like, vitamin B. And then the other person in charge was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. We gotta go B1, B2, B3. All right, nice. We're going to run out.

He was funny. Yeah. I remember going to see him live. Yeah, I was going to say a great joke about batteries that was along the same lines. Why are there no B batteries? Oh, nice, yeah. Oh, and there's D batteries. Does it sound like someone wants to do batteries?

This is a good bet. Yeah, it was. He played in Vancouver at a theater, and there was somebody being unruly, and he stopped the show, and he wouldn't continue until the person had been taken out of the theater. I was like, I've never seen somebody stop a show in a theater. You get a comedy club, I've seen where a comic's going,

I won't perform until you get rid of this person. But in a theater, I was like, what do you think would be more controlled or something, that you wouldn't have to do that. But also it's like, just make fun of the guy. Yeah, but at a comedy club, you have bouncers. Yes. At a theater, you have ushers.

Yeah. That's true. People who are doing this post-retirement. Yeah, maybe they have a vest on. Flashlight. You just see as soon as somebody starts taking it, they take their vest and hide it. It's not bulletproof.

I'm not here to intervene at all. I don't work here. Yeah. So I did the whole 24 hours. And then at the end, I was so like crazy. I felt like my hands looked waxy, and they were, they were waxy and everything. My nails were looking weird, and I couldn't focus on my phone,

because you know, like Magic Eye, it was like Magic Eye. Okay, did you go to deep, did you try to go to sleep? I try, I went and had something to eat, because all I'd eaten were like weird protein bar things and bananas and then, and a bite of a breakfast sandwich. And then I had like a veggie burger and it was like the best veggie burger I've ever had in my life.

I was so, so hungry. And then I had a beer and then went home and went to sleep. And then basically he laid in bed the rest of the next day which was pretty nice. The wind was waxy hand magic eye. Kind of like at our like, let's say 19. Oh, this was on stage. Well, yeah, like when I go take a break,

I was like, why are my hands so like waxy and weird looking? And then after I drank a bunch of water, it wasn't like that anymore. But yeah, I think I was probably dehydrated on top of everything else. Yeah, yeah. Even when I went to, when I was in university, I'd work night shift to pay for it or whatever. And then, uh, so sometimes I would stay up multiple days and I remember the energy drinks, but it was, and like we said before, day three is when I'd start getting

weird. But I remember I ran in this guy I hadn't seen since high school. And I was like, had this conversation with them and I was telling my friends and they're like, really? He was here. It's like, he moved to like the East coast. And I was like, yeah, I saw him. And then I was like, actually, I don't know if I did. And then that was the last time I stayed up for like more than that. Yeah, I was like, trying to keep it to 24 hours.

So what do you think happened? Did you think you could talk to a stranger? No, I think I just invented, like it never happened. Yeah, yeah. But it was like, it would be weird when I was up for like getting on to day three, like weird stuff would happen. Or I'd hear stuff or like a dog barking in class.

And I'm like, what the fuck? Like, but you'd, I'd know it was like not happening. But that one, I was, that was when I was like, okay, that's enough. Yeah. No, he was here. He was sniffing my crotch. Rubbing behind his ear. During COVID I got really into reading the meth subreddit.

Like there's people on posts about being on meth and that's bad, because they're up like six, seven days. And that's wild, shadow people and all this stuff. What is it called? Is it r slash meth? Yeah, that's great. It's so.

I never thought about checking that part of the reddit. I recommend it. Whenever I go to a town that I like, don't know much about, I go on their Reddit. It's smart. Yeah, but oftentimes it's just like, who knows where to get a good bagel at a time.

Or traffic complaints. There was one. Traffic complaints. Yeah. There was one that was a, the Vancouver one, every six months or so, there'll be a post that's like, what are your hacks for living in, or your life hacks for living in Vancouver?

And the one, it's always, you can't do it anymore as of like a few weeks ago, but if you have the parking app and you park somewhere that has a two hour limit, if you put in 110 minutes, then when that runs out, you can't do two hours and then hit extend, you have to do 110 minutes, let it run out and then you can do it again. Oh, it's gonna do another 110 minutes.

Yeah. Oh. But they changed it. By the day it's gone now. Yeah, the other one I would always see on those is if you take the train from the airport to the first stop and just buy a pass for that stop, it's free because it's a parking lot

and then you buy a new pass there, you avoid the like $7 airport charge, which I think you can still do. Yeah, that's a good one. That was a I don't know any Vancouver hacks. No, no, no. They're writing jokes for you for 24 hours. Yeah, the one that's always on there is the Costco hot dogs. That's always at the top too. Yeah. What? They're just cheap. They're just cheap. Yeah. The cheap. They're just cheap, yeah. The one Reddit thread that I thought was really fun

this week was, you know, Caleb Herron, the comedian, whatever, he tweeted like, every town has a guy that like is swinging a sword around you, like, oh, that's just a sword mixed with a sword. Well, we used to have a segment about that. About local, yeah, that's right, yeah. Yeah, neighborhood nicknames, was it? That's right, yeah. We used to have a segment about that. About local, yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Yeah. Neighborhood nicknames, was it? That's right. Yeah, and there was a woman that had a duck and she just passed out. Yeah, she was on that, I saw that thread. She was on that thread. Yeah.

Duck lady, yeah. Duck lady, roller girl. Roller girl, absolutely. Number one, yeah. Spoons. I don't know if it was spoons. Oh yeah, spoons. He played the spoons.

He's still around, yeah. There used to be a guy doing, if you were standing out in line downtown, he would come out and do like thumb pushups for money. Oh shit, thumb pushups, wow. Anywhere there was a crowd. I'd pay to see that. Yeah.

Yeah, I've never seen anybody do a thumb pushups. But yeah, I did it and it was fun and I don't know that I would ever do it again because I'm old now. You know what, if LMG shuts down again, I'll do it. I will say one more. The Little Mountain Gallery, it was my first time going. It's a great space.

And there's two theaters. Yeah, there's an upstairs. It's kind of like a studio, smaller. Yeah, I think that was just storing the t-shirts we all got. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think it's gonna be great once it's all, yeah. I'm happy because I would go visit throughout the construction. But most of it was just sitting waiting for permits for like a year.

But also like they, with kind of in the last stretch, they had a flood that happened just like two nights before. And so they had to like take everything out and put it back in. And so like, they really cleaned it up by the start time, which was a monumental effort. So kudos to this thing. Yeah, and it's, yeah, check out Little Mountain Gallery. They've got a bunch of great shows coming up.

Hell Nights coming up. Yes, Hell Night. Alicia's doing Come Draw With Me Again. I'm gonna do the Laugh Gallery. You have a Laugh Gallery show. Yeah, yeah. This week coming up on Thursday, and it's free this week. Is it gonna be every Thursday?

Yes, that's the plan. Okay. Because you know what? You don't promote your shows enough on the weekends. No, that's what I'm doing. You have this captive audience. Come to the show this Thursday, free, you can't miss. You can't miss with free

Well, I guess you could could be an awful show. Oh, but thumbs will be there thumbs will be there Do you guys want to move on to some overheard yeah Hey when you listen to podcasts it really just comes down to whether or not you like the sound of everyone's voices. My voice is one of the sounds you'll hear on the podcast Dr. Game Show, and this is the voice of co-host and fearless leader Joe Firestone. This is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners, and we play them with callers over Zoom we've never spoken to in our lives. So that is basically the concept of this show pretty chill

So take it or leave it bucko and here's what some of the listeners have to say It's funny wholesome and it never fails to make me smile. I just started listening and I'm already bending it I haven't laughed as hard in ages. I wish I discovered it sooner. You can find dr. Game show on maximum fun org I wish I discovered it sooner. You can find Dr. Game Show on MaximumFun.org. Video games can make you laugh. They can make you cry. They can even make you sing. We're the hosts of TripleClick.

It's a podcast about video games. This is an exciting time for new games from Diablo to Final Fantasy. From Starfield to Street Fighter. From Zelda to, oh, who are we kidding? We're just gonna talk about Zelda. Whether you play games or you just like hearing about them, we've got you covered. Find us at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Bye. Overheard. Overheard. You hear them? We want to hear them too. Share. Don't just keep them to yourself. If you want to send one in to us, you can send it to us.

We'll be happy to help you. Overheard. Overheard. Overheard. You hear them? We want to hear them too. Share! Don't just keep them to yourself. If you want to send one into us, you can send it into sbyatmaximumfund.org. We always like to start with the guest, Chris. Do you have an overheard?

I do have one. I went back because I was trying to do one from this week, but then I had one up just a little bit longer than that. That's sort of my, I just can't stop thinking about it. But it but a bit Need to do one from this week. Okay, I know you had your whole life to draw as you know You haven't been on in the 10 years Yes, I was Sitting in a food court and then a lady Was behind me and then another lady came to join her and she walked up the tray.

Then she sat down and she went, I don't know how I'm going to be able to eat this. I'm so bunged up. I haven't pooed for six days. I was like, holy cow. That's an insane amount of days. And same thing to say out loud in public and same thing to say even to your friend and like go to the, like, are you on heroin? I just, yeah, that was. I wouldn the like are you on heroin? I just yeah that

was I wouldn't like I don't even tell my wife that I mean I will tell her if I haven't slept in two days yeah yeah yeah but I will not tell her if what I haven't done in six days. That's insane. What is your eating? Yeah what do you go to in a food court? Just like go to think that food courts first first of all, is my favorite place to eat because I get anxiety going into like when I would work downtown, I'd go on a lunch break

and I'd go to a place and I'd walk in and be like, it's too hot in here. And then I'd go, I'd go in and be like, oh, that guy looks weird. And I'd go like I would just and then I would just not eat. I would just go place to place. But food courts for some reason, there's enough going on and you can kind of suss it all out from the same vantage point. But yeah, I like fast food. place to place, but food courts for some reason, there's enough going on and you can kind of suss it all out from the same vantage point. But yeah, I like fast food.

Like Granville downtown is getting a Taco Bell. I'm pumped. Yeah. I don't have high hopes for it. It just seems like that area feels like we're in the last six months and then. Yeah. I was thinking the other day about how like 24-hour A&Ws are kind of and also the Wendy's on Canby Street are almost like

community centers because there's just like so many people just like plugged into the Wi-Fi just sitting there all day to stay warm using the bathers and yeah I feel like Taco Bell's gonna be yeah it's gonna end up that way but it's in a whole like entertainment complex right that they're building. Yeah Yeah, maybe but like it's not It's going to be full of drunk clubgoers from 2 a.m. Yeah, yeah definitely getting their fourth meal Yeah getting their gordita my

my favorite food court is, or restaurant is, whatever teriyaki thing they have. Yeah, I was gonna say whatever kind of Chinese setup they have, yeah. Yeah, now I'm all about, what's the freshest, usually, it's sort of, it's like, sometimes there's like a treat. What's the freshest hot dog you have?

Yeah. I'll take it from the back roller. Now New York Fries, they have hot dogs that have a little theme song for them. They do? Yep. Why am I just hearing about this now? God damn it, I wasn't ready for this. I brought it up even and I'm not ready for it. I want a hot dog, a juicy God damn it, I wasn't ready for this. I brought it up even when I'm not ready for it. I want a hot dog, a juicy quarter pound hot dog. Topped with loaded toppings.

I don't know this. Like chili, cheese, and bacon. Fully loaded with delicious toppings. Give your taste buds something to sing about at New York Fries. Well, Sum 41 sounded. Yeah. Yeah, was that actually them or not? Yeah, yeah it was. Yeah. Was that actually that? Yeah, it was. Yeah, it was.

Yeah. Yeah. They, I have been to New York fries since we started playing that theme song. And? I've not had the hot dog though, but the poutine. Yeah, no, the fries, I remember like really enjoying those and also kernels was a big afterschool.

Do you have a kernels? What mall did you go to usually in Calgary? Yeah. Sunridge. Oh, Sunridge. Yeah, yeah. They didn't have a Colonel's. What is Colonel? I know. So like a popcorn. Popcorn. Yeah, no.

I was just like, you know, the worst of the world. Like KFC. Yeah, those kinda. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing fancy. No cookies by George. No, no. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. I worked at Dairy Queen for four years, which was incredible.

That was my dream job. Well, yeah, that's my favorite restaurant. It's his favorite restaurant. Oh, is it really? Yeah, I wanted like that or Toys R Us were the two jobs I applied for. I worked at Toys R Us. Holy cow, really?

Yeah, yeah. Was it awesome? No. Okay, yeah, I'm glad. Dairy Queen was pretty fun. If I got the job when I was 12, amazing. Yeah. Yeah. I'd put him in the best. Or if got the job when I was 12. Amazing. Yeah. Put him in the vest.

Or if I just won a shopping spree. Oh. Still to this day, winning a shopping spree would be a lot of fun. To anywhere. Yeah. Like, especially if it was one of those timed ones. Yeah.

Like run in and grab as many things as you possibly can. You should do that at like, just like a little candle boutique. Just doing the like full arm thing turns out he could do the whole story in less than a minute no problem bankrupt why did we run this competition

god we're stupid well we are in the candle business yeah that's true there's two of us we're the Ben and Jerry's of candles I like to put crunchums in there for a better mouth feel. Yeah, but no one's doing, no one's biting them. Sometimes you smell a candle you want to bite, you know?

Well, if they had like little pretzel bits in them. That's the both world. Yeah. Dave, do you have an order? Have I not gone? Nope. Okay. Yesterday, I had, I've not done this before, but I went and one of my daughters, I'm such a dad, I'm

such a dad guy. You're an involved parent. I'm a kid guy. You're not a helicopter parent, you're just involved. No. Yeah. Helicopter, I am a helicopter parent sometimes, but I spit it around and hold my arms out. And do the traffic report. Yeah. Kids, check this out. But yesterday, my kid, my daughter, my eldest daughter had a field trip and they needed two parents to accompany. And it was to Grouse Mountain.

So I went on the school bus. Nice. With two classes on the school bus. Nice. With two classes of grade fours and we went up, we took the gondola up to the top of the mountain. It was still snowy up there. We learned about bears. We ate lunch.

What did you have, sack lunch? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we, there was a indigenous presentation. Okay. And so a man comes out wearing, I think it was called a paddle jacket. It was like a jacket that had what looked like a little wooden paddles, like canoe paddles hanging off and they're clinking and clacking and he dances he sings he tells a story he talks about

the where it was in like called a feast house that was all a cedar house and uh he was talking about these are the chiefs benches and it was a 40 minute presentation and at the end he said do you have any questions and a girl put her hand up and said, did you say those were cheese benches? Oh. Like in the whole time thinking that. Yeah, how so? Anyway, I recommend going on a field trip if you can. It's just like it used to be.

Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. What was the best field trip? Tough, tough. Oh, when we went and saw the crucible in a movie theater. Oh. Which I think I've talked about before where there was Winona Ryder in it.

Yes. Winona Ryder is in it. And the very first thing you see in the movie is the guy who played Commandant Lassard in Police Academy. And so we started laughing so hard right out of the gates. And then the rest of the movie, my friend Jesse just kept doing like a Winslow sound effects. And we got in a lot of trouble. I think we went to see the Leonardo DiCaprio,

Romeo and Juliet. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think we did as well. Leonardo DiCaprio, Romeo and Juliet. Oh yeah. In high school. Yeah, yeah, I think we did as well. Yeah, and my teacher was like, no way Shakespeare would approve of this soundtrack. Good soundtrack. Yeah, great soundtrack.

Classic 90s soundtrack. Do you have a favorite 90s soundtrack or favorite field trip? I have a worst field trip. I remember I went on one and well, I lived in Red Deer between Calgary, Edmonton and then we went to either Calgary, Edmonton, everywhere and then we had to drive back

and she's like, everyone need to go pee. And then I was like, no, I'm good. And then it was an hour. They didn't say anyone need to go pee. They said everyone need to go pee. I think they're like, everyone go, like really trying to encourage. And I was like, no, I'm good.

And then like 15 minutes and I was like, all right. So I ended up peeing my pants on the bus. What age? Five or six. And then I just dumped my juice box on my pants to like disguise it. Clever. But like everyone. And then it just like would go down the, cause the aisle way on the bus is like those grooved

rubber mat kind of thing. Oh yeah. And it would just be like down to one end And then I had to go to a party right after like a birthday party and my mom But I kept with the juice box live my mom's like, oh, it's just juice like it's fine. It'll dry off Do you remember where you were? Oh, God, yeah, that was not good. Do you remember where you were coming from? I can visualize us leaving the place.

It was, yeah, I think it was some kind of exhibit or something like that, but yeah. But man, learned that lesson. Smarter view to put the juice. That's an advanced maneuver. Yeah, yeah, I don't think anyone bought it, but surprisingly, I don't remember getting made fun of a lot for it after.

You've buried that. Yeah, you have. Yeah. I know, that's probably, yeah. You're sure those kids are good. Yeah, especially if you poured apple juice on it, cause then it's, you know, you're hiding one liquid with the other, the identical one.

Yeah, and I think honestly it was like grape juice. Oh, smart, grape's good. But it was clearly pee in the aisle, and then grape juice on my pants. You can see anybody, could be anybody. Yeah, I know. Do you have an overhurt? I do.

I was at a film, this is many, many weeks ago, this is something I jotted down, and I was at the concession, and there was two women in front of me, and one of them, oh, it was like a gift from the gods. And she was saying, she said, you know, Mr. Bean is an engineer by trade. Oh, it made me laugh so hard.

That's great. Like the character? Yeah. Not even Rowan Atkinson. Yeah, maybe that's what she meant. She might've met Rowan Atkinson but the fact that she said Mr. Bean was an engineer. I think Rowan Atkinson just went to,

I think they all met at like the footlights or something like that. Yeah, and went in the theater school. Yeah. But that would, like Mr. Bean, he wears a suit. Sure. That would totally make sense. We don't know how he makes his money.

Yeah, he's gotta do something. Okay, I gotta look up Mr. Bean backstory. Yeah, occupation. Because I, boy, every time I try to type it, it just suggests Mr. Bean backstory. Yeah occupation. I Boy Every time I try to type it. It's just suggest mr. Beast No, there's nothing about that there but maybe mr. Beast is an engineer by trade oh He might be he's a chocolatier now, but yeah, maybe start. I was an engineer Is mr. Bean is...

Okay, so, all right, so this is a post. Okay. Oh, he did. The actor has a BS and MS in electrical engineering. Ah, yeah, okay. Shame on me. But yeah, so she was probably talking about Rowan Atkinson, but the fact that she said Mr. Bean, it all worked.

Now we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map. You want to send one in, send it into sbymaximalfun.org. And this first one is from Riley from Winkler, Manitoba. And this is an overheard dreamt, an over dreamt. And I just liked the way that it worked out. So a woman is at an award show that feels like the Oscars and she's giving some sort of acceptance speech.

I only recall two snippets from what she said, but the first one was, you know, the hardest part of being rich is you have to eat breakfast at supper and supper at breakfast. Go to a fancy restaurant. Followed by wild audience applause. And later she said, and I'd like to thank Coldplay again for sponsoring last year's

golf tournament. When she received a standing ovation. Such a great dream. I also love that when you're telling your dream you have to like qualify it. It was an award presentation like the Oscars. Like people are going to be like, you didn't dream about the Oscars. No, no, I never said I won. But the fact that I speak well though, the hardest thing about being rich.

We're not serving breakfast right now, sir. I know, but I'm rich. You know what to do. This next one comes from Julie from Woodbridge, Virginia. I was at the store walking down the cereal aisle. We saw father and son looking at the cereal and the son said, raisin bran is so good. Then the dad said so seriously, raisin Bran Crunch, that's top tier. Oh boy.

Yeah, absolutely. It does sound good. Yeah, I've never had- I don't like raisins though, that's the big thing. Yeah, and oh, if you get Off Brand, it's all raisins. There's very little bran on that. Also I had Off Brand Corn Flakes. God, they were off. Off Brand Raisin Bran has more raisins?

Yeah. But like, Raisin brand has more raisins. Yeah. But like raisin brand brags about the two scoops. Yeah, this is like indiscriminate scoop. Maybe it just got loose, just throwing raisins around everywhere. Like you'd think that would be the expensive part. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was too many raisins and then yeah,

the cornflakes were just like unbelievably bad. You know what I've rediscovered? Honey bunches of oats. Yum. What is that? It's kind of like a granola. You know what? I was watching Curb and I was like, this is on HBO.

You know what else has those initials? Honey bunches of oats. Is that true? You actually put that together. It did come into my mind. That's wild. You know, just in honor of the finale. Right, yes, yeah.

I was at, in the serial aisle, and there's one that I've known about all these years, but I never had, was Chex. Chex was on sale. Chex is good, I think. It's like, it's like kind of a diamond, empty kind of vessel. An octagon of wheat. Yeah. They also had where I tried maybe 10 years ago where I found out like with Lucky Charms you could just buy the marshmallows separate and then dump them in.

What do you mean? Like you can just buy just marshmallows. Where? So you can top like on Amazon. Oh. Like a bag of them. And then you're like, this is going to be great. But immediately you're like, this is a mistake.

There's too many. Yeah. They've like clearly figured this formula out. I had a friend who bought a thing of all pink Starburst on Amazon and he same thing he's like I've gone to yeah too many pinks too many pinks. I boy have you seen that cereal Crave? Yes. It's a Kellogg's like kind of like I don don't even know what it is, but it's like just like little squares of some kind of grain and inside there's gooey chocolate. Sucks. Dunkaroo.

Yeah. It should be great. It sucks. So bad. Yeah. Inedible. This last one comes from Molly. She was at a tour of the solar system planetarium show

at the science museum in Boston. Each time, this kind of a field trip, feel a thing. Each time the host went to the next planet, the kids in the audience kept begging her to go to Pluto. The host was able to redirect to keep the show going. When it was reaching the end, she said, well, that just about wraps up our tour, but I think we have one more stop.

It could, if you could go anywhere in the universe, where would it be? And it was silent for a few seconds until a little boy in the front row said, Cincinnati. Oh. Get this kid to Cincinnati. Yeah. Was it not Uranus?

Was it waiting for everyone to yell Uranus? But like Pluto, come on Pluto, we all love Pluto. I'm, yeah, when the kids went to that indigenous presentation, that was the only thing where the teachers were like, you will be respectful. You will be quiet for 45 minutes. Yeah, oh yeah, we had, oh wow, when an astronaut came to our school,

they were like, no fucking way, this is an astronaut, this person's been to space. They were so boring, oh my God. Yeah, I'm probably. This one, for you, Dave, on field trips, because I did a hike once with my friend, if they missed another comic, and we went, it was like Garibaldi, like a black tusk.

We went like eight hours up. There was flies that bite, like crazy flies they don't have any like on the mainland ground. But, These are mountain flies. Yeah, but I was like, what do they do? And I let one land on it, like bites a chunk of your skin. I was like, it was insane.

And like, I wanted to kill Ifdemious, because he's like insisted on doing this and we'd get up there, feel him almost die, do the hike back down. And then I was telling John Cullen about it, another comic and he's like, oh yeah, we had to do that in like grade six on a field trip.

And I was like, how? Like even like, did you guys, the grouse, did you have to climb? No, right? Yeah. No, no, no. Did you ever have to do anything like that? We didn't have to, but in grade 11, I think we went on a big

to do anything like that. We didn't have to, but in grade 11, I think we went on a big, like three day Stein Valley hike. Really? Where we like stayed overnight. And we had a couple like overnight, like in grade like six and seven, we had a few where we went to camp that was cabins and a couple where we went to camps that were like tents.

And it was tents, man. I went to one where we had to make our own. It was called like a lean-to. Which was kind of like a kind of triangle shape kind of thing with branches that we had to sleep under. It sucked. It sucked ass. Because you had to have so many people under one lean-to just to stay warm, right?

Yeah, I read an article this morning that's like guy that lived in Stanley Park for 30 years might have to move I was like wow that's it I didn't get any squadron rights or anything like that I think he just lived in like a tree though like for 30 years he was an artist yeah people like you should put his stuff in his gallery but I never heard of it speaking of like Vancouver yeah yeah people but well in addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone calls If you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631

That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one like these people have Hey Dave and Graham, it's Victor in Vancouver Unseasonably warm weather lately, so I went to my favorite hot dog vendor in the West End The guy in front of me he mentions the weather and asks if the guy's busy. The hot dog vendor replies, global warming. Good for the hot dog man. No friggin' way. It's not bad for everybody.

Hot dog man. I didn't know that hot dogs were like warm weather food. No, I mean they definitely are. It's like if you have a barbecue. Yeah. Baseball, yeah. No, I think- I mean, they definitely are. Like if you have a barbecue. Yeah. Baseball, yeah, but- Yeah, baseball. Yeah, I think of hot dog as year round.

Yeah. Yeah, year round food. Maybe eating them outside on a snowy rainy day is not as fun. Waiting five minutes for a guy to cook it up for you in the rain. It's worth it. And then when he asks you,

you want some onions on it? Oh boy. I mean, if you know anything about me, it's that Give your taste buds something to sing about at New York Fries. Cool. Hey fellas, I got an overheard for you. Oh no, Dave Graham guessed and I'm guessing probable guessed. I'm very confused as to what, I didn't think this through, I just got excited. Okay, starting here. Hey, my name's Rob, I'm from Connecticut and I'm a job developer for Differently Abled

Adults and I was walking through the hallways, leaving middle school and there were two girls that looked like late middle school talking to each other in the hallway and one of them said to the others, said to each other in the hallway and one of them said to the other, said to the other, so according to Bugs Bunny, it's duck season. Is your source on this reliable? Well, I mean, I only saw it for a split second. It looked like someone was going to take the duck season sign down and it might say bunny

season after. Let me just rule. You know when you go back and look at Road Runner Coyote, some of the gags, man oh man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, good. Donald Duck and Daffy Duck, both incoherent. Yeah, each pediment and both like cranky yeah yeah a couple of cranky that why are they why do we get ducks as the cranky cartoon animal cuz in real life they're so peaceful yeah yeah yeah yeah cooperative

whether the days are getting longer and I've been getting woken up by birds in the mornings. Do you like it or no? No. Oh, okay. These are not sweets. I mean, they're fine. They sound fine.

I just would rather be asleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 545. They're up at 545? Yeah, man. Fuck, man. I don't live near a tree, so. Oh, sure you do.

Garbage can. We get a garbage can noise sometimes. Although, I'll sleep through garbage can noise. You're so used to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Every day. And here's your final phone call. Hi, Dave, Graham and possible guests.

This is Bree calling in an overheard from Albany, New York. I'm at my office and my coworker who sits behind me took a call and I heard him say, Hey, I didn't forget about you. It's been a hey, diddle, diddle of a morning. Thanks guys. Love the show. Bye bye. The cat in the fiddle is here.

I mean, you won't believe what the cow just did. Boy, it's been a real hey, diddle, diddle of a morning. Sorry, pardon my language. Just in his overalls. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Now, Chris, in May, you have a special coming out. Yeah, I finally have something to promote. Hell yeah.

With, yeah, May 30th, which is also my birthday. Yeah, with 800-pound gorilla. I think it'll just be on YouTube, how they're doing specials now. So that's called words have consequences. Words have consequences. And it's a where was this shot? I shot it in the dream cafe in Penticton. I did. Yeah, it's weird because I'm not too pumped about it because the jokes kind of looks I tried to record it in 2018. Then all this stuff happened in work. Then it What stuff? It just like, I didn't do well, I don't think.

I was like, oh, the pandemic wasn't for two years. Yeah. Yeah, but I bombed my own recording, felt sad for a year, then the pandemic happened. No, it just, yeah, I just wasn't happy about it. And I think that's just a thing I struggle with for doing comedy, I think I've done it 14 years and I've released nothing,

because of the like, I feel weird about that. And then, so then try it again and pandemic. And it was like a bunch of false starts with the pandemic. Like I tried to record it at rumors in Winnipeg and then they hadn't got any waves of COVID. And then they just got their first huge wave and shut the city down. So it was like 15 people instead of 300 or whatever it is. So, um, yeah. So then I finally got it in the Pinticton one and did it. The camera crew come with you or you it is. So yeah, so then I finally got it in the Penticton one and did it at the Dream Cafe. Did a camera crew come with you or you? Okay, you didn't get a local. No, yeah, I brought them out.

The Dream Cafe. Yeah, it's really cool. It was like, have you done it? I know. No, highly recommended. From the tone of his voice, you could tell he hadn't done it. Yeah.

The Dream Cafe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was nice. Yeah, have you ever done it? Yeah. But it's like, it was a music venue, I think that started in 2000 and only did music and kind of had older owners and then they just sold it and the new owners a bit younger and just opened it up to comedy. But it's like beautiful, kind of 80, 100 seater, like dinner tables kind of stage and everything. Yeah, when I did it, it was just right away I walked in and the show went great.

The first time I did it and the owner was super nice. I was like, man, can I film here? Cause they were bugging me about like, where do you wanna do it? And then yeah, he was like, let's make it happen. So we did that and yeah, we did two shows for the first time. And then the second show, there was a lady that brought duct tape.

She's like, oh, my husband always heckles. So I brought this stuff and I was like, oh good. But then she ended up getting wasted and wouldn't stop heckling. And then, you know, by my last bit, I'm like, can you just please put the tape on your mouth and not talk during this? And she was like, sure. Then lasted 30 seconds and ripped it off and ruined the joke. So, is that in the special? No. Yeah. But it was, yeah. So it's basically, I couldn't, the second, like the first one, I could did everything I need to do

I was like great got that in the can and then the second one I was looser It's way more fun so I could use the first half of it But then that lady just ruined the whole second right but then all these people started one star reviewing the Dream Cafe on Google Because they didn't kick that lady out, but they'd never done a late show in Predictive and also they're new to comedy so they don't know, didn't know what to do. One star reviewing on Google. And then 20 years they'd never had, 20 plus years, one ever. So I had to like write those people and be like, hey, like, it's not their fault. Like, can you take the review down?

So that was the whole thing. But anyway, we got it done and it's coming out and yeah. Well this weekend I'm staying at a hotel that has many one-star rooms. I can't wait to just bring a garbage bag of my stuff. Well, yeah, so that'll be on YouTube, May 30th. Yeah, cool. And thank you for being our guest. Thank you everybody out there for listening to the show. We deeply appreciate it.

And you know what, if you're gonna stay up, stay up for like 12, 12 hours hours and then really see if you want to do the 24 or the 48 or whatever. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.