Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 846 - Bobby Warrener

Episode Date: June 4, 2024

Comedian Bobby Warrener joins us to talk Red Bull, Imaginary Friends, and Infested.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 846 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man whose skis got playoff fever, Mr. Dave Shumkin. This is so stupid.

It's so stupid what's going on. You were like, Dave, could we record on Monday? I'm like, yeah, of course, man. He said Monday evening. I was like, dude, yeah, I got you. Yeah, no worries. This was when the Canucks were ahead 3-2 in the series and I was like, the series is over, man was like, dude, I got you. Yeah, no worries. This was when the connects were ahead three, two in the series and I was like, the series is over, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're gonna win. And then you were like, and then I was like, actually, if there's a game seven, it'll be on the Monday. So we are recording on the Monday. And so I was like, you were like, okay, well, how about five? And I was like, yeah, fine, the game's at seven. Game is not at seven, the game is at six. Jesus Christ. So we are, we're 55 minutes away. The game is not at seven. The game is at six. Jesus Christ.

So we are 55 minutes away. We're going to make it, guys. We're going to make it. Look, we don't need to watch the singing of the national anthem. That's true. Also, we've been talking about the... The free skate where they come out and circle around and all that kind of stuff. We've mentioned the same hockey series three episodes in a row.

It will have been over for two weeks at this point. I will either be sad or elated. Yeah. Yeah. Well, in two weeks I won't be. It'll have passed. Yeah. Oh, because it'll be done. The whole series is done? The series is done tonight.

No, I mean the whole, the cup. No, the cup is a month away, my man. Okay, okay. Graham's such a casual. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's true. Now Bobby is from, he lives in a rivaled city. That's our guest, our guest for today, very funny comedian from Edmonton, Alberta.

It's Bobby Warner. What's up? How's it going? Oh, living la vida loca, my friend. Do you love the Oilers? I am incredibly apathetic Unfortunately, but I have been I'll say I've been getting caught up in the in the playoff fever a little bit hard not to yeah Yeah, yeah, very addictive. Yeah, like hockey is like one of the most watchable sports also. Yeah Yeah, that women's beach volleyball

Should we get to know us? Yeah. What's the most unwatchable sport? I mean, lots of people would say. Hockey is hard if you have bad vision. Yeah, I do have bad vision. Yeah. Probably the like, I think football's really hard

to watch. Really? Just cause it stops so much. Yeah. Football fucking stinks to watch. I'm with you. That shit sucks, dude. Football's ass.

I think it's like the perfect TV sport. It's like, they've got that camera that goes behind, like, above the play. Yeah. It does have good camera work. Yeah. Yeah, of course. It's got a lot of American ingenuity behind it. Yeah, it does have good camera work. Yeah, of course. Got a lot of American ingenuity behind it. Yeah, very artistic, very nice.

Yeah. No fucking sucks. I thank you for having me in your house. You're wrong, buddy. I'm not going to live or die with that. But I a lot of people would say golf. I really like watching golf. Oh, sure. Relaxing. Yeah. Yeah. And it's easy. It's like, you don't have to know any strategy. Like the guy's gotta get it close to the hole. That's all I know. Oh buddy, you go up in the kitchen, you make yourself a sandwich, you come back,

you ain't missing much. Exactly. You know, you're good to go. Yeah. What is the, yeah, I find baseball is very relaxing. Easy. And soccer, like if there's a big international tournament. Yeah, you can watch soccer for a while, hey.

It's just of like 90 minutes of whistling sounds. Say it's some art more than anything, I think at this point. Yeah, yeah. It's a good, it's like, especially if you don't care. Like if people are so invested, they lose their minds. People are nuts. But if you don't care who the winner is, it's fun.

It's the best. Oh, I hope this team comes back. Oh, now they're winning, I hope the other team comes back. There we go. Did you, were you a jock of any sort growing up? Were you in the athletics? It's fun. It's the best. Oh, I hope this team comes back. Yeah. Oh, now they're winning. I hope the other team comes back. There we go. Did you, were you a jock of any sort growing up? Were you in the athletics? Buddy, no.

Uh, hell no. Uh, no, I mean like, uh, I did like, uh, I did like, just, I did like the less cool version of Too Cool Sports. You know what I mean? Like I did like BMXing and like, uh, freestyle skiing, which is just like the less cool skateboarding and snowboarding. Right.

So it's like, all the hockey kids were calling me slurs and then all the snowboarders were like, you're lame. You couldn't land on one side or the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? So. So were you like a guy that did race courses? No.

Or was that just freestyle in the park? What are we talking about? Buddy, hit in the park, hit in the half pipe? I gave myself so many concussions. Yeah. Really loose grip on the memory from those years. I will say that got fucked up a lot. Yeah. No helmet? No, there was a helmet. Didn't help that much. Yeah. Okay. I asked my mom one time because I was like talking with my mom and I was like, I can't like remember my childhood. Like what did something bad happen? You know, and she's like, I can't like remember my child. Like what did something bad happen? You know?

And she's like, no, you had a lot of concussions. And I was like, how many? And she's like, ah, 15 or 20. And I was like, what the fuck? Like you let me keep going? Oh buddy, it's going to end that way for sure. Yeah. It is not looking good for the end of my life.

I'll say that. Middle age will not be kind to me. Uh, but yeah. So I was like, why do you let me keep going? She's like, we didn't know back then. I was like, that was like 10 years ago. The movie Concussion had come out. Will Smith made his mark by then, yeah.

Isn't it ironic that he made that movie Concussion and then he gave Chris Rock a concussion? Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I mean, thought about that. I mean, I think you probably didn't. No, I don't think so. Although, like if your memory's so bad,

another Will Smith movie could explain that. Oh, that little MIB. Yeah. Oh, true, I got flashed. You got flashed. I got flashed by Will Smith. Now I can't remember anything. Shit.

Bobby, welcome to the show. Thank you. First timer, you are from Alberta. I'm smashed by Will Smith, now I can't remember anything. Bobby, welcome to the show. Thank you. First timer, you are from Alberta. Yep. My bitter rival. For now, easy buddy. And you are drinking a Red Bull.

Hell yeah, sugar free too. Oh, okay. Sugar free, sugar night. Let's do it. This Red Bull killed someone with its car. What, what is that your go-to? Are you a- Sugar free bowl? Oh yeah. Oh buddy, I ride the bowl, yeah. I like to get into it.

I do, I do. I like the sugar free bowl a lot cause coffee, worked at a coffee shop a long time. I feel like I got acclimated to caffeine. So now I need something psychotic to wake me up. One a day, two a day, what are we doing? No, this is special circumstance, you know? This is special circumstances.

Yeah, cause I got like, I'll say about five hours of sleep last night, cause I thought I had this meeting in the morning today, it's tomorrow. Ah. Went to bed real late, woke up real early, could not fall back asleep. Yeah. Yeah, fucked my whole day up.

Well, I hope that meeting goes well tomorrow. I think you're really setting yourself up. As long as I get to bed by 7 p.m. Graham, it will. You're gonna be fine. I'll say that, yeah. No, we're gonna get you home at bed by 7. Oh yeah, but buddy, the bowls and then the mate. I don't know if you ever do a year with mate.

No. Fucking incredible. Yeah? You gotta try, it's like tea. Yeah. It's like a tea energy drink and it has like, it's got like three sugar-free Red Bulls in it. I think caffeine-wise. It's nuts.

I think. Yeah. If I had to guess based off how schizophrenic I feel after I drink one, yeah. I never could do energy drink. Coffee is my top end, which I have right now nice, but What is what is your Bermade taste like dude buddy incredible? Well, I sorry I right sorry for offending you

Thank you for the apology T um they have like different flavors. They got the rebel berry. They got the lemon elation. Okay, they got what else do they got? They got blueberry Bluephoria that one's called I think and they taste like the berries in question. No They taste like juice and tea but pretty good I feel like because uh My wife likes kombucha. I anytime I see a drink with a weird name. I'm like, that's probably tastes like vinegar, dude Yeah, honestly, but I love kombucha too Anytime I see a drink with a weird name, I'm like, it tastes like vinegar. Dude, yeah. Honestly, I love kombucha too,

and now every time I see a drink with a weird name, I go, yummy. That's kind of my thing. Okay. What's the weirdest, you've been open to weird drinks. Because I remember trying a bunch of different drinks, and one of them was, I think it was Japanese, and it was a jelly was inside it.

Love those. It was like grass, it was Japanese, and it was a jelly was inside it. Love those. It was like grass, it was called like grass jelly or something like that and it was mind-blowingly bad. Oh yeah, buddy, I go nuts for that shit. I love it. A drink with a texture is good. Yeah. Oh yeah. Like a bubble tea. I love a bubble tea, a little boba tea, very nice. I also like, I would say the weirdest drink that like I did actually learn to enjoy is this drink called Iron, which is like A-Y-R-A-N. Very close to a different thing, but no need to get into it.

I don't know. I don't get it. Buddy, don't worry about it. No, but my friend Malik, Malik who's been on the show before, Lebanese guy, he showed it to me. And it's basically just like old yogurt that you drink while you eat a shawarma. And the first two times you drink it, it is putrid. And then by the third it's hidden. I have a shawarma without it these days.

So it's like, you have to spoon it? Or it's just like thin yogurt that you can suck through a straw? It's like a yop for like Arab adults. So just listeners, drink one of these every time you hear the word buddy. You will be sick. I guarantee you'll be puking by the end of the episode. A proper shawarma in a while.

Oh my God. I was literally about to say buddy, I caught myself there. Oh, fuck. No, I mean, hey, don't let me censor you. Don't let, you know, I want you to, you know, I want you to spread your wings, man. You want me to fly and that's why I've always loved you. Yeah. Schwarmer Rips, one of the best sandwiches,

I think I've all done in Schwarmer. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't go wrong. Boy. Yeah, have you been to of all time. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't go wrong. Boy. Yeah, have you been to Halifax? Oh yeah. That's the place, right?

Yeah, that's the Donair spot right there. You want Shorma, I'll say this, Ottawa, Calgary. Oh really? Oh buddy. Okay. Fuck me. I think I'm gonna puke once I realize how crazy I sound. You're showing me my own tics.

This is crazy. Is the difference between Donair and shawarma, is it just the meat? I realize now I spoke with a lot of authority right now. And can I tell you perfectly? No, I cannot. Yeah, because I like them both, but I don't know if I can taste the difference.

I know they sometimes shave a big meat rod. Yeah, what's the one with the big meat rod? Is that Donair or is that? Well, that's both of them. They're both from the big meat rod. So like chicken shawarma, they get a big meat rod. Yeah, what's the one with the big meat rod? Is that Donair? Well, that's both of them. They're both from the big meat rod. So like chicken shawarma, they get a big meat rod, they stack like chicken on top of it. Awesome.

And then I think the main difference is like Donair comes with Donair sauce, which is like a specific type of sauce. And usually Donairs are the shaved beef. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you can get a chicken Donair, but I think it is Haram. Okay. As far as I know. I don't know a chicken doner, but I think it is haram. Okay. Okay.

I don't know what that word means. Sinful. Oh, okay. All right. Graham, Graham was in Boko Haram. He doesn't want to talk about it. Do not say that word. He thought buddy was bad.

Yeah. Boy, if that, I mean, that is probably my, if we're including that in the sandwich realm, I'd say that's probably my number one sandwich. Number one? Maybe. Wow. I'm with you. I'm with you.

I mean, number two hot dog. Hot dog is a sandwich that's been proven. That's psychotic. I think. It's not psychotic you consider a sandwich, but it is psychotic. It's number two. Hot dog number- Burger's right there. Yeahotic you consider a sandwich, but it is psychotic. It's number two Right there. Yeah, I guess in burgers is how I love a burger. Love a grilled cheese. Are you guys kidding me? That's pretty good. Yeah, gotta be top of that. I mean is burrito Yeah, good our lizards are so mad

No, it's good. You ever had a big fucking big muffaletta? Like Italian? Pardon me? Excuse me? Sir, that is my mother you're talking about. Easy. What's a muffaletta? I thought it was an Italian thing.

No? It's a New Orleans thing. It's like native to New Orleans, I believe. It's like a fucking dinner plate of a bun. And then they put on an olive salad and like four types of meat and they put it in a panini press. unbelievable. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

One of every animal, the Noah's Ark special. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Graham, what's your, as a vegetarian, what's your favorite sandwich? Well, I love grilled cheese. It's way up there. A Beyond Burger is pretty close to the top. There's a place in Vancouver that just closed its doors

called the Arbor and they had- Oh, that place closed? Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, and they had an artichoke sandwich that was unreal. Nice. Unreal. I've had it. It was crazy. Yeah. And now it's just gonna be a sandwich

that only lives in my memory. Yeah, that's so sad. Yeah, like it was a favorite sandwich. There are sandwiches I remember. They would be cool to have like a, you know, a montage of past sandwiches. Every sandwich you've ever eaten. Yeah, well the ones you can't get anymore anyway. Wait, grilled cheese, we putting tomato in there, apple slices in there, what are we doing with this?

Definitely tomato. Hot sauce? I'll have hot sauce on the side. Okay. I'll have a hot sauce or a salsa on the side. Now that you're Mr. Gluten-free, how's your sandwich game? Oh, fuck.

Weak. Yeah, brutal. Of course. You can't have meat or gluten like you're fucked, basically. You just have to eat melted cheese. That's basically it. Yeah, and just warm it up between your hands. Ooh, it's just like the old days.

So Bobby, you are from Edmonton. You lived out here for a while and now you're in Toronto. Now what? Fuck buddy. We're fuck buddies. Yeah, fuck buddies. Me and Graham got this thing going on. Nutrients attached to your head.

I really don't want to get into it, Dave, but after off, Mike, I'll tell you the details. Oh yeah, Fred would benefit. I will describe the past sandwiches and the smells. Anyways, no, I'm from, I'm from Sylvan Lake, Alberta, technically. Okay. And then moved to Calgary when I started, Toronto for a bit, back to Calgary for a bit, Edmonton for a bit, here for four years, Toronto for a year. Now I'm back in Alberta slash no fixed address.

Oh, you're a Vegabond. Yes, yes, yes, yeah, technically. A drifter. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, why not? In town for- They have a good reputation, right?

Drifters live fast. Yeah, there we go. Some of our finest moving are nomads. Well, just some of our finest nomads are drifters. Yeah. Are you sleeping in couches? What are you doing? Buddy, yeah, I'm sleeping in my friend Ahmed.

He's got a spare room at his place. Nice. I'm sleeping at a mouse house right now while I'm in town. I've, my parents- When you say mouse house, you mean Disneyland? Yeah, I was gonna say Disney freaks. No, riddled in mice, they bite you. They bite you?

I've got six tennis shots since I've been here. Been here four days, yeah. Shouldn't the one tennis shot last you? You would think. These are big mice, Dave think these are big mice safe These are big mice and they bite hard No There is a lot of mice up, but they got a cat so a lot less my easy, right?

Yeah, so but the mouse house name remains is very catchy. Yeah And it's like the house fucking sucks. Is it like falling apart? Oh, it's bad. Yeah. Yeah, it's like a house in Vancouver where they're paying like 700 bucks a month and you're not even like, that's an unreal deal. You're like, that's about fair.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like your foot's gonna go through this floor at any moment. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've lived in some Vancouver shitholes. 100%, yeah, yeah. You can't bring a piano, like if you tried to put a piano in that house, it'd kill you

downstairs. You're going to be horrible as a drifter if you're bringing a piano with you ever. I'm a drifter. I have a few requirements of each house. It's too much to ask. A three-man moving team and a grand piano. When you're hitchhiking on the side of the highway, the guys will be there in their truck like, just follow us.

Do not drop that. You will have to tune it, okay? You hitchhike and then your car stops. and they're trying to like, just follow us. Do not drop that. You will have to tune it, okay? You hitchhike and then your car stops. You're like, okay, one second. And then you run into the bushes. I start bringing it up one piece at a time. Can these sheets in the back go down?

Fuck, man. Like sometimes when I stay at a friend's, it's like you're on their schedule. Oh yeah. It's kind of, I find it odd. I find it hellish. Like, cause I am very sleep oriented, love sleep. Okay, well, what are we gonna get?

Love getting in bed by midnight. 12? Midnight to eight. Okay, just to straight, yeah. Love that shit, incredible. No other comedian agrees with his sleep schedule. Very unpopular sleep schedule within comedy. Everyone's staying up till 3 a.m.

They're doing, you know, three till noon type shifts. Yeah, you don't end up doing that forever. No, no. I assure you that then. Very unsustainable. That midnight bedtime is the goal. It rules. Yeah, it's incredible.

But so I've been staying up till three and then I have this thing now where I like can't sleep in past nine because my body's so used to waking up at eight. So you're getting five. I'm getting five tops. Yeah. So you're getting five. I'm getting five tops. Yeah. Very cooked.

Not good. Yeah. Not bad. Yeah. It's free. Yeah, that's true. It's free. You always have to think.

All the mice you can eat. All the mice you can eat and they will eat you as well. That's fair. They're working on my pinky toe right now. It's about half lit. I was honestly believing about all the shots. I was like, that's... What about rabies shots? Those are the ones you need to worry about. I woke up without a fingernail. I said, I guess it fell off.

I woke up without the point of it. I said, this is bad. I guess it fell off. My fingernail... It fell off. It fell off, whatever. It fell off and I had the scariest dreams. Now, I remember doing a show in a yard of a place you were living in during like COVID outdoor show time. Yes, kids.

Yeah, that was a nice pad. That was excellent. Yeah. I was, that was 750 each. No way. I lived there with three other people, 750 each, big fucking fuck off two story house. Come on.

I thought you just had the one floor. You wish buddy, no. Yeah Graham, you've been preying on his town hall. You'd love that dude, it's not gonna happen. What the fuck out of here? That was ballin' dude, that was ballin'. Yeah. Yeah, that place was awesome, that place was unbelievable. Unbelievable spot, great show, fun show too. That was a. Yeah. Yeah, that place was awesome. That place was unbelievable.

Unbelievable spot. Great show, fun show too. That was a fun show. And if I recall, I'm trying to remember it all, but there was somebody there that's like, we're going in the ocean skinny dipping. Yes. And she's like, come on, in general.

I was like, no, no, that would be. How far from the ocean? Five blocks? Yeah. The ocean, the commute wasn't the issue. It was the nudity. I also didn't skim the dive. Yeah.

Yeah. It was the, why were you doing that, Graham? Why were you in the water naked with a bunch of people you didn't know? What the fuck's the deal with that, buddy? Is that the police officer talking naked? You don't know these people. It's not illegal, but I am concerned for you. What do you mean they took your clothes?

You were just, you were naked in the water by yourself? It was like you weren't gonna go nude the whole five blocks, right? Oh, you got it. Oh, like doing the naked mile and then right into the ocean? Oh yeah, anything for Van Wilder. It's a kids' lawn away, man.

Five block nude walk. The whole thing of it. I have a T-shirt from when I did that to raise awareness of lupus. 93, yeah. Yeah, no, yeah, they were, they did go skinny dipping. I did not partake either. Have you ever? Skinny dip?

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, me too. I'm not sure why I did it. I didn't hate it, but I don't like, was I doing it just to say that I've done it? I think so. You were a teenager?

I was, yeah, I was a teenager. It was in a lake, which is in the dusk area. I would never swim a dusk anymore because swimming at night terrifies me. Oh, how come? Because of the dark, because of the no separation between water and sky. Yeah. Oh yeah, you're swimming on instruments. That's how JFK Junior died. Oh shit. Yeah.

But then the nudity of it all, they can't know I can see you. Yeah, that's true. But that's kind of part of the point, right? I want to be showing off the goods if I'm going to go all the way to Skate. Think I'll do this five block nude walk for fudging my health? No. I know what I got and I like to show others. Every year in Vancouver, there's a naked bike ride.

Really? Yeah, like hundreds of people ride naked around the city. I feel like of the things to do naked, riding a bike. Bottom of the list. Yeah, yeah. Bottom of the list for sure. Yeah. You chafe fully clothed on a bike.

Boy, do I. Yeah. Thank you for bringing that up. You read my bio, yeah. Yeah. That's exactly what I was gonna say, yeah. Yeah, I guess I've heard of that. But yeah, it's very like, yeah,

I'm sweating all the time on a bike. Yeah. And also there's just, yeah, there's a lot of contact with you and the bike. Yeah, there's a lot of, and it's like, how do you even, like, that's, you got to go around all the neighborhoods you're biking through and you got to let people know. Right? That's like, like, hey, don't let your kids outside tomorrow. The cops really could pick people off. Yeah.

100% though, yeah. So you've got to go through every neighborhood, introduce yourself, I'm a future sex offender. You're going to see me tomorrow. You're going to see a lot of me tomorrow, actually. What was that, Minority Report? We know you're going to do this, so we're going to give you the form now and just go ahead. Fill us out at your leisure. I guess I mean there's the thing they do here

called Mass. What's the bike ride that they do like every few months? Critical Mass. Where they just like it's not a nude bike ride it's just like a wad of bike riders taking over the streets to kind of like make it hard on traffic on drivers and make it like which is Craig has like cyclists love complaining about cars yeah cyclist myself like they love and then it's like you there's thousands of you yeah like that's gonna create people not liking you yeah like it's it's I think that's the point it's like hey get out of your car and join us Yeah, but what's the point of the nude bike ride?

Yeah, I don't based in what's that based in yeah good based. Yeah also, just Your bunch of weirdos that got together. Yeah, we're weird. Yeah, we're a bunch of weirdos. That's a kink. That's like exhibitionism Yeah, that's true riding a bike naked that probably does fall under the umbrella of kinks. Yeah, you're gonna see so many people have to watch you. But is it gonna be, is it nude people with like a backpack or a fanny pack on? I feel like a backpack, you know,

cause that's, nobody ever talks about the nude beach conundrum of like no pockets. No pockets, like. 100%. And also like, when you're done, you gotta put clothes on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, you know, if you wanna buy like a popsicle or something, you gotta have change, you gotta have money on you, at least you need tap.

What if it was all for like H&M and they're like, all right, we're doing a nude bike ride to H&M and then you know, maybe buy something to wear home. We have actually a new athleisure line that would do you very nicely. Yeah. That's like, that is psychotic to bike ride naked for any amount of time. Yeah. He's like, why don't you, what is this? This could fix a whole issue. Bunch of stationary bikes at Rec Beach.

There you go. That can be kind of fun. Thinking outside the box there. Very well beach. There you go. That can be kind of thinking outside the box. Yeah. Very well done. Yeah. Bring your own. Rec beach is the nude beach here in Vancouver for anyone not from around here.

And it's, uh, it's, you had to get to it. You have to walk down a very steep set of stairs that just seem to keep on going on forever and ever ride your bike in this. Yeah. Have fun buddy. Get radical. Come on. You can do it.

BMX, XBMX. I can try. Yeah, I may not remember it, what I've done. I will hurt myself, but I will try. Have you been to nude beach? I've been to rec beach, few times. Oh, you've been to rec beach, okay. Oh yeah, well, it's just like the thing

about rec beach is it is the best beach in Vancouver. Yeah. Like if you're gonna go to the beach in Vancouver, it is one of the better ones to go to. It's a rocky. Hmm. I thought it was gonna go to the beach in Vancouver, it is one of the better ones to go to. Is it rocky? Hmm. I thought it was a rocky beach. Yeah, they're all kind of rocky.

I think I haven't been since I was a tiny baby. Oh yeah? Yeah. Then it didn't matter if you were new to it or not. Then people were like, whoa, nice hog. And now it's like, oh. God damn. Then I come back 40 years later, oh, same hog.

Oh, didn't need the girls for it everywhere? interesting Kid drink milk. What the fuck? Yeah, no, I've been there I never got nude at it though now no never did the new feel like you go Do you daytime or night? Yeah? Yeah? I thought they were like Rude dudes if you're not nude rude dudes if you're not nude. Rude dudes if you're not nude, well maybe, but I think they saw, they could see underneath

my swim shorts I was packing, so they gave me a pass. Sure. Nice, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you either have to be nude or packing. Yeah. Yeah. I actually put an avocado in there, that's the thing they didn't know. It's how you soften it up for guacamole, a lot of people don't know that.

Yeah? If it's not ripe yet, yeah. I was, oh, I had to, I guess a couple of weeks ago, I had a terrible cramp in my leg. Oh shit. And I was like, oh, okay, well, you know, cramps, you drink water, you eat a banana.

Okay, yeah. And I went to the store up the street, the bananas were bright green. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got one and I Googled, how do you soften it? Like how do you, cause I was- Like speed up the ripeness. And it's like put it in a bag, a paper bag,

but that like takes a day off. Yeah, that's like a two day thing. Yeah, yeah. And so I was like, is there any thing that does it in hours? And it was like, yeah, microwave it. I was just gonna say microwave it. That's what I was thinking is there any one thing that does it in hours and it was like yeah microwave it I was just gonna say microwave it. Yeah, but that's for like if you need to make banana bread Oh, yeah, it's just like

It's physically soft. Yeah, get ripe. Yeah, and then so I just ate a very chockiest banana Did that help? Yeah, I guess I don't know know. How bad was the cramps? I feel like I've gotten cramps before, but I feel like usually if I was like to go walk out the store. I get them every month around the time of my uterine lining sloughing itself. It was just uncomfortable and I was like, oh, I know there's a quick remedy for this.

Not so much. Yeah, I've never heard that before about eating a banana. Water, I've heard that, drink lots of water. I heard water and I thought you like put your hand up above your head and you rub it or something. Oh yeah, I should have done that. Yeah. Yeah.

Woo hoo. Yeah, what if in the future, you freeze one of those green guys or freeze a perfectly yellow one and then you just have to take it out and defrost it. Make it smoothie. But don't they, do they turn black in the freezer? Is that because you're just giving?

You're only giving them black. Yeah, it's giving black. I think they all turn, yeah, all black in the freezer. Yeah. Yeah. But even if you do a yellow or green, this is something for... And then here's the problem too, you unthaw it,

by the time it would take to unthaw the banana, I feel like also fucks you. You know? It's not even a quick fix. Yeah. Microwaving. It's so odd that unthaw and thaw mean the same thing. Thaw it out.

Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Unthaw should be freeze. Well, I'm not sure unthought exists actually. Okay. But we all know you, man. Now we're getting into the semantics.

Now my sandwich pedantic sandwich people are on my side. Shit, yeah. Somebody proposed, I can't remember if it was- Somebody proposed? Yeah. Oh my God. And you know what? I said yeah. Yeah.

Um, have you ever proposed to somebody? My God, I wish. That seems like a rush. I think here's what sucks to know about myself. I think I'm too shy to propose. Oh, really? I think I would never propose because I'd be too shy. Really?

100%. You can get up on stage, do the jokes, a lot of stuff, but what is it about the, like, you're afraid they'll say no? Oh, buddy, just talking to women in general, terrible at it, very shy, always think I'm gonna blow it. I don't think, I don't know if I've ever asked a woman out on a date.

Okay, you just hang around and slowly wear them down. Yeah, and then they're like, do you wanna get coffee? And I'm like, out on a date. Okay. Very rarely. You just hang around and slowly wear them down. Yeah, and then they're like, do you wanna get coffee? And I'm like, fuck, I guess. I guess so. She started coming out to me. I'm tired and thirsty, yeah. I've been mentioning that for hours, actually.

Finally picked up on it. I'm so thirsty, give me coffee. Ben, you were about to say somebody proposed. Oh, somebody that I was going back to sandwich talk that somebody proposed the idea that a hot dog or that type of thing is a dumpling as opposed to cause it's got like a breaded exterior with meat in the interior as well.

No, cause you know what would be a dumpling? Corn dog. Corn dog. Corn dog's a dumpling. Yeah. Hot dog's an open faced sandwich I think. That's true. Would that count as a ORFs? Hot dog's an open faced sandwich, I think. That's true. Would that count as an ORS? Don't start off with these people again.

They're gonna... These people have been wearing me down for months. So you were originally born, Calgary born. Sylvan. Sylvan Lake. Right in between. So where's Sylvan Lake? Do you know where Red Deer is?

Yes. You ever do Heritage Lanes? No, was that like a bowling alley? A bowling know where Red Deer is? Yes. You ever do Heritage Lanes? Uh, no. What's that like a good show? Bowling alley gig. Yeah, yeah, no. You gotta do Heritage Lanes. Still going?

Listen, do you wanna make 100 bucks or not, dude? Uh, 100 bucks for 20 minutes, fucking five bucks a minute dude, all right? Is it a gig that like the bowling, where is it in relation to the lanes? Oh, it's right beside them. Real close. There's like a bit of a sectioned off thing. And it was and you're facing people bowling.

No. So it is its own kind of room, but the door is a curtain. So it's a give and a take, you know? Yeah. But it was it was put on by a guy who was like a hypnotist. This is good. Yeah. I didn't want to do it, but then suddenly I did. I said $100 for 20 minutes is a great deal. Yeah. Bok, bok, bok.

Yeah. It's, did he do hypnotism on the show or he's just a hypnotist that books shows? That's actually funny. I've never seen him do hypnotism. I've just heard through the grapevine. He has done it at shows that I wasn't at and I was always pretty sad that I missed it. Yeah.

Cause he, I'll say this, based off his skill at comedy, if hypnotism is anything like that, I don't think he's very effective at it. He hypnotizes himself. Oh no, I did it again. What a mistake. That's like their version of like laughing at your own joke on stage.

Look, he's hypnotized. Everyone get hypnotized, come on. They, um. I'm more of a hypnotist, hypnotist. All the hypnotists in the back are like losing it. Totally, just like absolutely following his every command. I, uh, years ago I was in Ottawa playing. Oh, they have great doner there.

Oh my God, I hear they're one of the best. Yeah. Pardon me. And I was hosting for a hypnotist. Well. And so like, you know, like when you're a host, you get kind of like, okay, everybody like get into, let's hear some applause get excited And so you know whoop them all up and then the guy comes out on stage. He's like I need complete silence

There was a guy in my College dorm who could hypnotize people and he did it once and then everyone loved it I missed it and then the next time he did it. He was like It was me and this other guy, he was gonna hypnotize. And we were like, before getting into it, like we were like wrestling. And we were so excited to get hypnotized. And then it was like, oh no, you're way too excited.

You need to calm way down. So I did not get hypnotized. Damn, what a weird college dorm. Usually it's like hacky sack, yo-yo. I mean, there's 24 hours in a day. That's true. Yeah. There's time for a hacky sack, yo-yo, and God, it's usually yo-yo, though you're right.

Yeah, hacky sack, yo-yo, hypnotism, the trifecta. What were the things at our dorm? It was, poof. I think we used to think we picked a rival dorm and we launched yogurt at them. Nice. Yogurt. Yeah, someone had a slingshot.

That's pretty awesome. Like so full. Full little cups. The little cups. The yogurt cups. Yogos. Not bad. Would you open them or would they just explode upon impact?

I guess they would explode on impact. For sure. Oh yeah. Slingshot. Yeah, beta house, fuck those guys. Fucking losers. Sir Arthur Curry. Did you go to college?

I did, yeah. What'd you take? I took journalism and communications. Where was this? This was at Mount Royal College in Calgary, Alberta. Whoa, you lived in Calgary? I did, I was born and raised in Calgary. What the fuck? Yeah.

How have we never, I've never, I haven't been there at all. I don't know, we've always been on the other side of the tracks, I live in the cool part of town. Yeah. You live in the, you know, mouse house area. Yeah. Yeah, no, born and raised in Calgary.

Insane. Yeah. Yeah, there are rules, yeah. Yeah, it does, it rules, yeah, you're right, it rules. You still have like, family and friends there? Yeah, my parents live there. Holy shit. Parents of my brothers both live there, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, we love it. Literally everyone like family and friends there? Yeah, my parents live there. Holy shit. Parents of my brothers both live there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Literally everyone in Calgary. Everyone in my family lives there. I'm the only one that's out. Holy shit. Does your brother look like you? Uh. Well, let's see.

I think they all look like brothers. Yeah, we look like brothers. We could be cast as brothers. All right, all right. Damn, I'm gonna be on the hunt next time I'm in Calgary. When are you next in Calgary? I'll make sure they come out and see ya. Uh.

Well, they're not usually in Calgary. They're sort of like, I guess they're bowling a lot. They go outside, out of town to bowl a lot. Oh, you've got to go to Heritage Lanes. Yeah. Does he have 20 minutes? I like this, it's called Area 20. You must go to Heritage Lanes.

Heritage Lanes sounds a little racist. It's not what I'm saying out loud. Yeah. And it's funny, like one of my youth was called Toppler Bowl, which is great, cause the thing's topple. That makes sense. Heritage Lanes, probably been there for years, right? Part of the city's heritage.

What was your youth? Oh, we were the Ridge. Oh, the Ridge. The Ridge bowling was our close bowling. But my daughter went to a birthday party at Grandview Lanes a few weeks ago, and I didn't realize they had 10-pin. Oh, hell yeah. They had two floors.

Oh, yeah, that place is big. They got glow bowling up there, I think. Yeah, it was glow bowling. That's what they did. Pretty awesome. Do you call it glow bowling? Disco bowling, what are the other words for it? It's like... Ghost bowling? Or like alien bowling?

Scary, scary bowling. Cosmic bowling, I think I've heard it called? Bowling where everybody can see that you're a lint. Yeah, dandruff bowling generally. Bowling, I cannot take these pants too. Yeah. Yeah, you guys have some pets behind the counter there with all these shoes?

All right, you gave me these shoes, now the rest of it, let's go. Chop chop, buddy. What was your childhood bowling? I think it was called Sylvan Lake bowling. It was not very good. Yeah. It was no toppler bowl.

No, it's not a toppler bowl, but here in Vancouver on our busy entertainment district street, there's a place called the Commodore Land. And wow, man, you go down there, it seems like a gang fight's gonna break out. Yeah, like an old timey. But like an old timey gang. Yeah, yeah, yeah, everybody's got their six shooters.

Yep. Six shooters. Why do they have like switch blades? I was going earlier, I I guess in the cowboy days. Yeah, they all got their covered wagons outside of the Greenville lanes. More of a posse fight than a game. There was, in Tawasson, there's that giant mall

next to the water slides. And they had a, what was it? It was like a bowling and fish restaurant. Fish restaurant, yeah. It was like a fish bowl. It was some kind of- That is made for guys like me. I wanted to check it out, but apparently it's closed now.

That was a good business plan though. How did that fail? The amount of times I've been bowling and thought I'd kill for some salmon right now There was uh, oh what was the Forgot oh, yeah Subway has or had a an ad campaign that had one of the Toronto Raptors

Scotty Barnes Scotty Barnes dressed in a bowling shirt standing in front of a bowling alley and he was I was in the Yeah. Which I would have went in there expecting to get some new shoes on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. No, it was a very confusing campaign. I mean, if they were gonna get a basketball player, get them a new bowl. Oh yeah? Yeah. It writes itself.

This was a place called Uncle Buck's Fish Bowl and Grill. Holy shit, that's awesome. The website is still a bowl in the ocean, it says. Yeah, a John Candy themed fish and bowling restaurant. And it looks like their logo is one of those Tiki bowl, like Tiki bar giant blue bowls that everyone like with the fudges draws. Wow, that's like, it's so many incredible branding. So many things on, so many hats on a hat. That's like yeah, that's like psychotic I know like when I

Because there wasn't that Kind of thing when I was growing up where it's just like an entertainment complex. It was just in the middle of nowhere Mm-hmm. I only kind of discovered those as an adult in Ontario where they had like The one from the states. It's like adults even Dave and Busters? Dave and Busters, yeah. Oh yeah, dude, I've never been to a Dave and Busters. It's much as you might imagine it. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of drunk people playing,

not so good. E-ball and. Yeah, those barcades are always not, you hear it and you're like, oh, this is gonna be fun. Terrible every time. Yeah. Really bad, yeah. It does get to a point like, you're like, oh, this will be a fun night. Well, half an hour in, I I've got $40 in quarters and I want to leave.

I don't have that much dry cleaning to do. So you. I went to an arcade place in Saskatoon. No Regina, which was like, you loved it. I loved it. Cause I stumbled into it. Like somebody said, Oh, go to the arcade place because they had all this vintage stuff. And I, when I went in, the guy was like $12 and I

was like $12 for a game. You're you're out of your head. And he was like, no twelve dollars. You can play all you want for like oh, that's great Yeah, does that include pinball? Yes, it all did everything that's excellent. Yeah, it's awesome. It's weird to be an arcade where you're the only one in there Everyone's watching you Everyone's watching you? Pretty good game, huh? Not bad. That's rare. You suck.

Maybe you should play as Leonardo next time. You suck as Rafael. Kiss Pinball, you can't find that. You cannot find that anywhere. No, that's true, yeah. Wait, do you like Regina? I recently went to Regina for the first time since I was like a child. And what a city.

Really bad. I saw the first time maybe in my life ever, dead Canada goose. I swear to God, which like, and it was laying on its side, head down, guts spilling all over the sidewalk and it made me feel deeply unsafe. It was crazy. Yeah, they are pretty good at defending themselves.

100%, way better than me. Yeah. Their beaks can break your femur. They better not. Yeah. I wouldn't try that with me. What were you doing? You were doing shows in Regina?

Yeah, I was doing, well, one show, one very bad show. Okay. Yeah, bombed a little bit. It's fine. No, it was, yeah, just did one show there. And we were in Saskatoon the night before. Love Saskatoon. Really underrated city.

Yeah, I've been there a few times. I've never been to Regina's, I can't comment on it, but I'm sure it's lovely. Go ahead and comment and say the opposite of what you just said. It is one town that I remember walking to a thrift store, somebody slowing down in their truck to lean out the window to call me a slur and then drove away.

Yeah. 100%. I was like, and I grew up in Calgary and then, so how did that, I was Regina, the only place that happened to me. 100%. You're like a burly guy, got a big beard. Yeah, that's why they called me a bear. They were like, is that a bear?

Burly and slurly. Where's your cub? He's behind me. Fuck off. No, they say Saskatoon is like the cultural capital and Regina is the political capital. Yeah, it's all that. And I think a lot of the locals would agree that it's a political town with, although someone's killing Canada geese to send a message.

100% Yeah. To send, we own this town now. Well, they're like, Canada geese are, I never saw them very much growing up. And in the last few years, they're everywhere. They're everywhere. Oh yeah.

And they leave town for a few months and you're like, oh, we'll finally get the playing fields back. And then they come back and they're just like wall to wall goose turds. Yeah. Yeah. And they're territorial. They had to close the park here last year for the whole summer because of, uh, as the geese just come over. And then I heard there was, and they're not allowed to kill them because they're like, federally protected. Is that right? Yeah. Oh my God. And then there's something, there was a plan where they were going to addle their eggs.

What? Where you go in and you shake their eggs and basically kill the unborn. Okay. Just scramble them, get in there. Yeah. Can you eat the eggs in after that? Yeah.

Yeah. Seems wasteful if not. Yeah, so you just shake them and then you leave them there? Yeah, yeah. That's like a cruel trick not. Yeah, so you just shake and then you leave them there? Yeah, yeah. That's like a cruel trick. Yeah, I would just smash them and be like, we're sending a message to you. Don't fuck again.

One more egg pops out of you, I'm gonna be so pissed. I didn't know they were protective. Yeah. Oh yeah. So you can't hunt a goose. I don't know. I think it's like eagles in the States, you can't kill an eagle. But eagles never hunt a goose in- I don't know. I think it's like eagles in the States. You can't kill an eagle.

But eagles never ruined a park as far as I know. Well, as of the time this taping. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'm pretty sure you probably can't kill an eagle here either. Yeah, I guess that's true, huh? Yeah. Damn it.

All I wanna do is kill an eagle. Do you think there's ever, I've thought this over a couple times, like you always see people with rifles hunting. You always. All the time. Does anybody go with just a handgun and shoot? Legit, I think so.

Go sideways? Yeah. Yeah. What are the animals you can hunt here? Deer. Deer, you can hunt a deer. Duck. Yeah.

Oh, sure. Connaught of duck, moose, elk. Pheasant. Pheasant, sure. There you go. Is that a thing here? Yeah. Yeah, that delicious pheasant meat. You can kill deer, I think,

not in Victoria, but right outside Victoria, because I think Victoria's overrun with deer. And they're like, come hunt here. The deer in garbage. You can use your car. Yeah. That would be great if you went on a hunting trip with somebody. Like, I don't know if you use a gun, but I will drive out there with you.

A gun that is not sportsman-like. We're using the sports utility. Yeah, we're both in a duck blind together. Me and the hunter in my car. Uh. Have you ever hunted? No. No. You? When I was a kid, I used to hunt gophers

cause my dad's friends had like farms and they're like, gophers are evil. You know what I mean? So you gotta like kill them so they don't dig the holes and then the horses step in the holes, they break the legs and then you gotta kill the horse. So, you know, you kill a couple of gophers, keep the horse. Yeah, save a horse rider to cowboy.

Exactly, save a horse, murder a smaller one. Yeah. And then when I was older, I went on like a duck hunt with my uncles once, didn't shoot anything, just kind of slept near a marsh, which is pretty awesome. That's fun. Yeah, and then one time I went on a deer hunt

with like my brother-in-law and again, same thing, just slept in the snow. Yeah. Hunting is sleeping. See, hunting is sleeping, also ice fishing is drinking. Yes. Yeah, camping is drinking. And skinny dipping.

Camping is drinking. I mean, hunting could be drinking as well, but then that's high stakes drinking if you're high stakes getting wasted. This is the, we're recording this on the May long weekend. This is the unofficial beginning of Canadian summer. And this is also like the big camping weekend. Oh yeah.

Yeah. I am not a camping person myself. Yeah. You haven't been with your family. No. No. Cause you would. I haven't been with my family growing up either.

Oh yes. The famous line from your mother. Abby was talking about, my wife was talking about, one day it would be great to go camping, take the kids, and my mother just goes, oh Abby, shumkas don't camp. That's not entirely true. I've gone on like school trips and like, in camping in tents and cabins. Not a fan?

No. Yeah, fair enough. We also live in a place where you can hike and then sleep in your own damn bed. That's true. That is excellent. Yeah, that is a good point. You hike or camper? Hiker?

Camper? Slash? I like a bit of both. I don't get out as much as I would like to, I guess. You kind of need a car 100% you need a car and then You know, it's just you never find that you're like I have so much time there like I don't have the time for this shit Yeah, I gotta go buy all these hot dogs. Yeah

rules about the like car Sharing the evos. What are the rules about Can you take it driving out to a campground? Yeah. You can do that. You can do that, because you can pay for the day. Okay. Yeah. You can sleep in it. Yeah.

I think some people have when I've walked the garden. It smells, yeah. It's, those cars get so banged up, it's crazy, because you have to inspect them every time before you go in. Do you, have you ever actually inspected one? I always do. What? I take photos of the damage. Yeah, there's all sorts of scrapes and shit there. Have you ever actually inspected one? I always do. What?

I take photos of the damage. Yeah, there's all sorts of scrapes and shit. Never done that. Really? Never in my life. Well, you're leaving yourself open. Every time I go, I'm done, straight up. I know, I think about that all the time.

I'm like, I'm gonna get so fucked one day. You know I've done it in a bumper fall. Yeah. No, no, I gotta go. I was lying. I'm not a member, but I used to be a Car2Go member when we had that. Those were fun.

Those were smart cars. The smart cars were super fun, although like a big wide spectrum of what was wrong with it. I had somewhere I was like, well, the brakes on these do not work. I'm pushing and pushing and I have to push so hard to get them to go. Just coast. And then others where I tapped the brakes and I fling myself forward. Yeah, smart cars not as well built as a nice Toyota Prius. Yeah.

Although if everyone had smart cars, it would be pretty cool. That would be pretty cool. It would be very much the future we were promised. You'd be never in danger of dying in a car crash. They speed along, it's so cute. Yeah. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend?

Not much, so I have this screen here You've got hockey screen. I've got hockey in case there's a lull. Also you have WNBA Yep, I've got so by the Anderson Cooper. Yeah, well I was oh, it's not on here. Tracy cartoon Dick Tracy Okay, maybe we'll watch the fat Joe show. What the hell was he talking about? Why don't we just put on Family Matters? What are we wasting time with? There was a show on before called, I took a picture of it on the screen actually,

because, what was it called? It was called, no, not you. Thomas and the Tank Engine. Thomas and the Tank Engine? Austin Flipsters. Oh, okay. No, not you. Thomas and the Tank Engine. Thomas and the Tank Engine? Yeah. Austin Flipsters. Oh, okay. Oh no.

And it's on the Home Garden channel or whatever. And for a second I was like, is that a play on Austin Powers? Whoa, that actually might be. Yeah. Like it's a pretty. Flipsters? Flipsters.

So it's House Flippers or Flipsters I guess. Flipsters, I guess maybe it's the,. Flipsters. Flipsters. So it's house flippers or flipsters. I guess. I guess maybe it's the maybe the hipster. Yeah. True. Oh, man. It's kind of like a like a break dancing crew. Yeah, we're the Austin Flipsters. Five, six, seven, eight. Go, go. Worm. So that's what's going on with me.

Yeah. I'm ready to turn on hockey at any minute. He's ready to go. Oh, buddy, we can, yeah. Oh, let's not rush into things. Yeah. But the other thing going on with me is we recorded like three days ago, so nothing. Yes. Yeah.

But this past weekend, I took my daughter to go see a movie from the imagination of John Krasinski. Oh yeah. Oh, what was that? It's called If. Yeah. It's short for Imaginary Friends. Tell them the basic premise.

Okay. Because you haven't heard of it. I have not, never heard of this. So you're watching, you're watching, about to see another movie and then the previews come on and the first words up on the screen are from the imagination of John Krasinski. Oh, God. And you think, oh, Jack Wright. Yeah.

And it's a movie where John Krasinski is, his daughter is visited by these imaginary friends. And she had an imaginary friend and now she's got to reunite people with their imaginary friends. And it's very cute. It's like, but it's annoying because it's like, oh, this is what John Krasinski thinks is cute. Yeah.

Fuck off, Jim. Yeah, I do feel that way. For some reason, I feel like I'm not interested in this guy succeeding. But yeah, I have nothing against him. I liked him on The Office. Me too. I got everything against him.

People like A Quiet Place, I think. Yeah. And Jack Ryan, he did this couple seasons or something. I got no beef with this man. I know, but also, are you just kind of like, come on, man. Yeah. You had your thing.

Yeah, you had your thing, exactly. You're Jim. You're not Jack, you're Jim. I think he's also like, hmm, I think you were secretly handsome. You're like, you snuck into this by pretending you were like, kind of a mess. Every man, yeah.

Yeah. That's right, he wriggled up the middle and now we're stuck with the F. Yeah. You didn't get where you are because of your imagination. No, no, no, no, no. But I watched- That should be reserved for Tim Burton only.

That's yes. Tim Burton gets to imagine scary things for kids. Absolutely. You don't. Yeah. You don't. And his imagination isn't as big as you think it is. It's like, I don't know, we got Johnny Depp to wear a scary costume. Yeah, I'm gonna put my girlfriend in a big top hat. How about that?

That does sound pretty good actually. Scary. So we're watching it, it's cutesy, and then against my better judgment, last 15 minutes I'm weeping. Oh no! Yeah. Really? Imagine that. Yeah, what an imagination.

Yeah, wow. And I'm like, I'm not enjoying it. It's like, I'll cry in a movie. Yeah. And I feel fine about it, but I was like, I don't even like this movie. But it played on your... Yeah. I don't even like this movie. But it played on your, played on the wonders of childhood. Yeah. Damn it.

Yeah, cause you're watching it with a kid too. You're like, oh, it's gonna be over for him. Yeah, one day you're gonna be me. Yeah, I got bad news. Yeah, and the whimsy will be gone. Did either of your daughters have imaginary friends? I don't think that I knew anybody who had. Yeah, no.

I feel like if you have one, you keep it pretty close to the chest, so you know what I mean? That's true. And if you have one, you might not have that many friends to tell about it. But also you can blame them for things. Yeah. True. Yeah.

I feel like it requires such a powerful imagination. You have to like have your poker face on at all times. But there's, oh yeah, there's a person here and they get a meal too. And like they're right beside me. Oh, they need, we can't just have, you forgot their chair. You gotta like really be. Like it's like imaginary object permanence.

Yeah. It's like crazy. Yeah. It's like, I didn't understand how it worked when I was a kid. I, it's like, I didn't understand how it worked when I was a kid. I knew it was a thing. Yeah, but is it something where it's there when you're born and you just eventually recognize that it's there or is it something you at age four,

you just make up a- Yeah, if it's there when you're born and then I think one day you just get diagnosed with something. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But I don't know, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm like, is this another one of those pop culture things

that was kind of just like made up by an adult TV writer? Right. You know? Yeah, the imaginary, yeah, because when I think of it, I think of it. Or it's a ghost. That's what I was gonna say. It's always horror movies, is what I was like. If there's an imaginary friend,

and it's always in these horror movies every Single time it's a kid drawing some kind of scary. Yes Who is this and they're like, it's Johnny, you know, you haven't seen Johnny But yeah, no my kids haven't had imaginary friends. They've said that they do. Yeah. To be cool. Well, we want attention so fucking bad. There's this series of books called Dory Phantasmagory.

They're great. They're like, in terms of like literature for six and seven year olds, they're like the least annoying thing that it's, I, I lol. Yeah, you lol. I lol at these things. Sure, that's great. And there's like some imaginary friends in there.

And so my kids have been like, oh yeah, she's also my imaginary friend too. Oh, so you're piggybacking on someone else's imagination? Cap, you're capping, quit lying. You're full of it, no. Yeah, that's cap. Stop, who are you trying to impress? But anyway, check out IF.

Apparently it's not doing well. Oh no? Well, it also was at the theater in the neighborhood. Yeah. And it's a one theater complex. Yeah. So they've got a 730 PM show. They've got a 1010 PM show.

That's the one I'm going to go to. I'm going to get wasted and go to the 10 PM show. Getting absolutely shittered and checking out IF. That guy's not even there. He's a fake guy. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

No. But Ryan Reynolds is electric in it. Wow, I mean, what is he not? Yeah, he plays a sarcastic guy. Wow, this guy's got range. Yeah. He has to like play a famous sarcastic guy to get an Oscar. Oh, sure. Yeah, like something's really steeped in. I'm kidding, who is a famous sarcastic guy to get an Oscar. Oh sure.

Yeah. Something's really steeped in. I'm kidding, who is like famously sarcastic enough for him to be? I mean Ryan Reynolds. Yeah, Ryan Reynolds as himself. Yeah. Yeah. It'd be funny if he just like changed one of like A-blinkin' to be sarcastic.

Yeah. Yeah, oh that would be good. What are you gonna do, shoot me in the head? You know? Yeah, that'll hurt. Yeah, realastic. Yeah. Oh, that would be good. What are you gonna do? Shoot me in the head? You know? Yeah, that'll hurt. Yeah, real original. Yeah, great plan. You're gonna bring a gun into a theater for sure.

I like sarcastic Lincoln. It's pretty funny. Not a bad bet. For score, what's the, what's the, for score? Can I just say 80? Yeah, cause people talk like that. No, don't ask. I shaved my mustache. I kept my beard.

Yeah, I guess that was just the look in the day. But now I only associate it with him or like people that- The Amish. Yeah, the Amish and maybe people who were in the Crucible. I feel like that also was a beard no mustache. Yeah, it's very wagon facial hair style. Yeah. You know, it's either you were alive in the time

where wagons were the only way to get around or you're Amish and that's the only way. What is the Amish reason for it? What in the Amish? What in the Amish? What is the Amish reason for the no mustache? Yeah, that's a very good question. Looks awesome, that's true. Getting chicks, dude, what do you think?

Yeah, I guess so. You'll see, you know, if you watch enough reality TV, you'll come across a guy that has that. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. It is, yeah, sometimes in the Guido community, still out there. Oh, what's that?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. I'm not familiar with the community. That's my imaginary friend, Guido. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not familiar with the community. That's my imaginary friend Guido. Yeah. He's got a funny beard.

Yeah, didn't Fred Durst, he had kind of just a thin, didn't have a thin. Oh well there's a chin strap. Yeah, chin strap. That's different than the. That's different than the. It's like the Y2K Amish. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I feel like one like the Y2K Amish. Yeah. I feel like one of the Backstreet Boys maybe had that.

Yeah, the white guy who always wears the hat. Kevin? There are white guys. Yeah. Oh, but isn't there a guy that wears a hat all the time? Kevin had sort of like a half mustache. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like it might've been, could've been Howie

or could it have been AJ? I can't believe I didn't know any of their names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like it might've been, could have been Howie or could it have been AJ? I can't believe I didn't know any of their names. Oh yeah, me neither. Howie was the young one? He was the cute one? No, Nick was the young one. They were all the cute one. Yeah.

You're right, they are all different variations on cute. Yeah, yeah. Bad boy cute, good boy cute. Yeah. They covered the whole spectrum. Yeah, they didn't have a bad boy. I think that same guy that wore the hat. I feel like AJ had bad boy vibes.

Well, was it had backwards or forwards? Depends on the gig. Yeah. Well, and he was a bad boy at least half the time. Yeah, if he's singing the national anthem at a baseball game, hat forward. Yeah. Did NSYNC have a bad boy?

Never takes it off. I mean, turns out it was Justin Timberlake. In general perspective, Justin Timberlake. I don't know, Chilly Fatone looked like he could probably rumble Yeah, Chilly Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick had bizarre hair Oh yeah, that was good, yeah What age were you when Backstreet Boys and what not were on the scene? You were a youth

What year was that? 2000-ish. Yeah. Four. Four, so they're just a thing that was before you were even around. Yes, 100%. Did you watch 9-11 in kindergarten? No, I wasn't even in kindergarten yet.

I wish. I mean, we watched it in kindergarten just for fun. Yeah. But not live. You were gonna put on a tape. No, yeah. A tape kindergarten just for fun. Yeah. But. We're going to put it on tape. Not live, no. Tape. I taped the whole day. We ran that tape out.

We wore it down. But yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know when there's bands that you only, you just got to take everyone's word that they were good? Or that they were a big deal back in the day? Yeah, only they recorded the music I've heard tell of these backstreet boys all the recordings are lost

But like I'll I'll never know the Rolling Stones as a band that wasn't Totally, you know, I mean like wasn't my parents music, but they listen to it when they wasn't their parents Yeah, I think about that even all the time with like obviously obviously I know how like big Jay-Z was and everything, but every time Marito talks about Jay-Z, I'm like, oh, it's this whole other thing for you, you know? Yeah, you grew up with it. Yeah, I don't know, I think he's fine, but. What do you think is that thing that you would pass on

to a younger person and say like, nah, you don't understand. They're not gonna believe how like huge this was? Yeah, oh, you don't understand LMFAO, you don't understand. They're not gonna believe how like huge this was. Yeah. Oh my God. You don't understand LMFAO, you don't understand. Yeah, truly. That might be one of them. Yeah. In high school, that was like huge.

And then like describing it now, it's like, okay, they were an uncle and a nephew and they only wore neon and we were all party rocking. Yeah. All their songs were about partying. They had two songs. They had two songs. They broke up at the height of their success.

Yeah, it was 2010 and we were all doing that. Yeah. And they were related to the founder of Motown. Is that true? Were they not Gordy family? Whoa, that's not good. Were they Gordy affiliated? Oh, no, they're Guido affiliated.

That's like crazy Guido-ism. Couple Gordy Guido. Interesting. Gonna get us kicked off. Yeah. Is Guido a bad word? I Guido's. Interesting. Couldn't get us kicked off. Is Guido a bad word? I don't know. No, that's like- Who are you referring to? I'm talking about like New Jersey guys.

Oh yeah. New Jersey Shore, you know? Okay. Yeah, they're Guido's. Yeah. Yeah, we can say it. I think they called themselves that on Jersey Shore. Yeah.

Well, I mean, that's, I don't think that's how you wanna. That's not how you wanna base slurs is, if they call themselves that. Yeah, that's, I don't think that's how you want to. That's not how you want to be slurred is, is if they call themselves. But Guido, I'm like Italian American, how, you know, in 2024. I mean, in 2024, you know better than me, man. You're, you're from this woke generation. Graham's getting called a Guido out of the car. Yeah.

In regina. I mean, in fairness, I did have my hair gelled straight up. It's giant, curly mustache. I was wearing all my LMFAO merch at the same time, so... Oh man, those, what do you call those shades that had like... Shutter shades? Shutter shades. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those will be hard to explain. They'll come back. Yeah, I have a pair. They'll come back. Yeah, I have a pair. Yeah, because they don't do anything. They make it hard to look at stuff. Yeah, yeah.

It's kind of like the immersive version of like pervert glasses. This is what it looks like. Oh, yeah. You're looking for a boy. Yeah, it would be good maybe if someone was trying to limit screen time or something. Yeah, sure.

Maybe we could do that. Or if they wanted to induce a migraine. Yeah. It's the only way to like induce a migraine. Yeah. It's the only way I can kill this imaginary friend. Yeah. Yeah. I think my mind's so inhospitable. What's going on with you, my friend?

Very little, because as you said, we recorded it three days ago, but you said a couple, a while ago, that like the level of scary movie that you will watch is it arachnophobic? Yeah, I saw legitimately scary Arachnophobia movie that you would hate. Oh Our arachnophobia is literally scary. Yeah. Yeah this one if you thought that was scary. Oh, like it freaks. Yes I like freaks it was on

to be No, I watched spread those a legged freaks. Yeah, so I ate legged freaks. It was on Tooby. No, I watched- Let me spread those legged cheeks. It was a French- I watched a spider porno. Tell me more about the spider porno. Oh, well, okay. This guy gets bitten by a radioactive fighter with a huge tick.

And he shoots ropes. No, I watch a very scary spider movie. I can only remember what it's called in French, which is vermin. The deal with it is the spiders adapt to their surroundings and to their attackers by every generation gets bigger and bigger and bigger. And it's all in one apartment building.

Oh, so scary. So they get bigger throughout the movie? How big does the last one get? It's the size of a car. Oh, you don't wanna know. Yeah, VW bug. Yeah. It's scary stuff.

Yeah, it was, oh my God. It's one of those movies where you're like, ah, it's on me, it's on me. Oh, cool. Yeah, so scary. Oh my God. And? It was great.

Yeah. Just made me think of you, because I was like, arachnophobia, alien freaks, and this would be the modern entry into the many, many spiders camp. I've heard that, so, because I'm- Infested, it was called maybe?

Infested. I'm not super scared of spiders in real life. No, me neither. Once they get on that silver screen. Yeah, oh boy. But I heard that, so if you find a spider in your house, if you take it outside, it will 100% die. Oh really?

They're not accustomed to that change in temperature. Oh. And their bodies can't take it. Huh. What are you supposed to do then? Just let them live there? Just kill it. You gotta kill it, eh?

Yeah. Oh, I didn't, I've never heard that. If you got a creepy corner, you can let live in a creepy corner. Yeah. Attic? Yeah. Yeah, put it on the attic.

Yeah. They like, they. They start breeding, they get bigger and bigger. Yeah. What makes them get bigger every generation? Their defense mechanism is they grow. They grow to like fight their predator. That couldn't have really happened, right?

And that's like 100% certified bullshit, right? No, look guys, not according to this movie. According to this movie, it's always the, in every horror movie there has to be, I guess sci-fi movies as well, there has to be somebody who looks up an article on the internet and says like, well, it says here, this type of spider can do this, that and the other.

So it wasn't apparent that that's what was happening. I just thought that there was a bunch of different sizes of spiders, all the tapes, same type of spiders. Was it in French with subtitles? Yeah. Oh, they're Sutitra. Yeah, see, there you go. What's web in French?

Oh, fuck. You got it. Dave's trying to make his own web, that's that noise. I know spiders are in your head. So scary. But what is the web of it? I don't know. I remember when we were when the when I was in French in high school, they the internet was pretty new.

And if you wanted to like, I wanted to write a essay about the internet and I wasn't allowed to use the word internet. The teacher was like, oh, we have to use all French words. Oh, let's call it L'Inter-Réseau. Get banned. Everyone says internet. Get banned. Well, do you guys want to move on to some over her? Sure. Yeah.

I'm Sequoia Holmes, pop culture and host of the Black People Love Paramore podcast. Contrary to the title, it is not a podcast about the band Paramore. Each episode, I, along with a special guest co-host, dissect one pop culture topic that mainstream media doesn't associate with black people, but we know that we like. Tune in every Thursday to the podcast that's dedicated to helping black people feel more seen here on Maximum Fun. I'm Yucky Jessica. I'm Chuck Crudsworth. And this is Terrible. A podcast where we talk about things we hate that are awful! Today we're discussing Wonderful, a podcast on the Maximum Fun Network. Hosts Rachel and Griff and McElroy, a real life married couple.

Yuck! Discuss a wide range of topics, music, video games, poetry, snacks. But I hate all that stuff. I know you do, yucky Jessica. It comes out every Wednesday, the worst day of the week, wherever you download your podcasts. For our next topic, we're talking Fiona, the baby hippo from the Cincinnati Zoo.

I hate this little hippo. ["Song of the Weekend"] Overheard. Overheard, a segment where we like to look back on the things that we heard and share them with our family and friends. We always like to go with the guest first. Bobby, do you have an overheard? Yeah, again, really bad memory, so I couldn't really.

It was hard for me. I had to really do some searching. But recently, one thing that I overheard was I was on the bus and a guy was on the bus and he was a guy playing music on the bus. You know what I mean? Which, and it was in Vancouver, so everyone was kind of like, not saying anything to him, but like, man, if he looks in my face,

he will know that I'm not happy about this. You know? And then another guy gets on the bus who looks very much like the guy playing music on the bus Okay, you know what I mean? Like brothers in arms. Yeah good guys, you know, so both weren't flip-flops great guys Yeah, you know, okay, and then the song changes and the other guy just goes whoa chumbo lumber It was like, I saw these motherfuckers live. And the guy's like, no way.

He's like, they were touring this album, man. It was incredible. And then they like bonded over Trump. And I was like, the odds that like the, these two guys got together on this bus and chumble one, but was playing at the same time out loud on speed is like incredible. Yeah. It was a very like endearing moment.

I would like really enjoyed it. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, I was like, out loud on speed, it's like incredible. Yeah, it was a very like endearing moment. I would like really enjoyed it to be honest. Yeah, it was great. I heard somebody talk about going to see Chumble Wumba they wouldn't play Tough Thumb.

No. Really? Yeah, that they were like, we're a whole new, none of those people are around anymore like, cause they were like, Oh, right. Like we're an all new people, we've got all new music. Oh, we'll play the hits. Yeah, or change your name.

Yeah, what do you think about the tickets for? Hi, we're Tub Thumping, we're a Chumba Onebo tribute band. And we give you what you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna start and end. It's a weird, that is very weird that like, they would just have fully changed out members. Yeah.

And they keep the name cause they're like an anarchist collective or something. Yeah. With some kind of weird, I don't know. That's insane, you can't be doing all that. And it's just like, well, the bloodline is the same. Like we never, you know, broke up. Yeah. We're just, we're like one of those,

like a stew or soup that's been around for generations. It's like my sourdough mother. Yeah, exactly. Please, Wumba's my mother. Call me Chumba. Just call me Chumba. Um, Dave, do you have a word? I do, man.

And what is it though? And it looked, okay, I was, I had to go to the store and just get whatever, bag of sugar. A bag of sugar, okay. And so it was just the store and just get whatever, bag of sugar. A bag of sugar, okay. And so it was just the store in my neighborhood and I left my house and I walked and there was a woman parking her car

and I noticed her for some reason. And then I went to the store and I came back and the woman was out of her car and the hood was open oh shit and she was looking at it and she had an umbrella okay she was poking different stuff in the umbrella shit it was a little like that kids that kids in the hall. That's the best kids in the hall sketch. Do you know that one? No. It's their, you know, their car won't turn over.

And so he just looks at the engine. He's like, okay, try it now. Try it now. And then like, he tries to trick it like, well, I guess we'll just stay at home and try it now. They repaint the whole thing. Yeah. Turns out there's a baby in there.

Yeah. I just rewatched the wrong guy, like two nights ago. Oh, that's so good. That's like maybe the funniest comedy movie of all time. It's up there. The first half hour is nonstop jokes. Yeah, it's just. Right up until like the last like 20 minutes almost. Well, it's a 50 minute movie.

So clearly you didn't even watch it. My overheard comes courtesy of a grocery store as well. I was in line behind a woman and I don't know what's wrong with people that do this, but she had two tortilla, packs of tortilla, and she was like, this one says it's gluten-free, but this is from the same company. So how can they consider that this is gluten-free

if they're made in the same factory? And the poor clerk just went, well, you can put it back. Yes. That's great. Yeah, you can put it back. Well, you can put it back and I make $12 an hour. Exactly, I don't work at that company you're talking about. I don't give a shit.

Oh, I encourage me, I have a question about your overheard from the bus. Yes. Do you take the bus still quite often? I'll take the bus if it's you know, if it's the short distance that uber wouldn't make sense. Uh-huh. Yeah, I Do people nowadays thank the bus driver Constantly. Yeah. Yes, I cuz the last few times I've taken the bus it's driver constantly. Yeah. Yes. Because the last few times I've taken the bus,

it's so like every stop, thanks driver. Yeah. When I was growing up and even into my twenties, only the craziest people thank the bus driver. No, yeah, it's a common. I think it was like, it was literally something on the, like some bus driver posted on Twitter was like, every thanks that I get dropping off.

And it was like a bus driver from Vancouver was like, every thank you I get dropping off and it was like a bus driver from Vancouver was like every thank you I get dropping off the passengers warms my heart and now everyone's just like I'm about to warm this guy's heart oh but I think he's got a little pet on the back ish yeah I think it's getting a bit much. Hey look at me I'm thanking the driver. Hey look at me everybody. Ladies. Ding ding. Ladies I I snuck on here, I did not mean to. No, we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. You want to send one in?

Send in it to SPY at maximumfund.org. And this first one comes from Taya in Boston. I coach high school girls lacrosse and had practice on the day of the recent solar eclipse in North America. The eclipse had ended and before the team started their warmup jog, one player said, it's okay to look at the sun the normal amount now, right?

Honestly? I like looking at the sun a little bit. Yeah, I mean, I like getting a glance. You got a peek every now and then. Oh yeah. When you feel a sneeze coming on, do you look up at the sun? 100%.

No, I never, what is that? It's like if it makes your sneeze happen. Yeah. Like if you're about to lose a sneeze, look at a bright light or ideally the sun. The brightest light there is. I've never heard of this. That's incredible.

I can't believe you've never heard of that. Yeah. Yeah. My... And when you lose a sneeze, does it ruin your whole day? I've never heard of this. That's incredible. I can't believe you've never heard of that. Yeah. Yeah. My, uh. And the dude, like when you lose a sneeze, does it ruin your whole day? 100%. Yeah, it does.

It's, especially when there's a big buildup and then you're just like, yeah. I feel like an idiot. You feel like an idiot. Yeah. Yeah, you feel like your body can't get it right. This next one comes from Dan S, Parts Unknown. I was watching a soccer game with my wife.

A player skillfully passed a ball through an opponent's leg. Passed a ball? That sounds like a delicious... Something that was yelled out of a truck at me. Yay, passed a ball! That's something Chef Boyardee would make. Passed the ball through an opponent's legs. I said to my wife that this commonly is called a nutmeg. Fast forward a few weeks, we were watching another game

and a player performed the same move. She excitedly turned to me and said, Paprika. Yeah. Yeah. Close, close. Yeah, I'm guessing the name comes from the fact that it almost hits you in the nuts. Yeah, that seems, and meg is short for Megalodon,

if I know, Jason Statham. Sure. Yeah. He fought the Meg, and the Meg won? I don't know, I didn't see the first one. Meg won, exactly. Yeah, there you go. I never saw the first one, I saw the second one. Yeah.

It was bad. The only Jason Statham movie I've ever seen where I was like, this is, he can't save this movie. Yeah. He's so good. He's a great guy, fun guy. Yeah. And I loved it, in an interview somebody was like,

have you ever thought about doing a dramatic role? And he's like, nobody wants that. Well, they are dramatic, they're not comedic. But you know, like an emotional where he's playing somebody that's not the toughest man. Yeah, that was his role. Yeah. Gotta love that. Exactly. His man. Yeah, knows his role. Yeah. Gotta love that. Exactly.

Favorite Statham movie? Ooh, I mean, I really like the Guy Ritchie era, but if it's just Statham on its own, I gotta go with the transporter. Transporter, yeah, how about you? Don't have one. Okay. They're all good. They're all my children.

I wanna get started into it. Oh, oh boy, we can talk Statham all out until I'm blue and white. I would say my favorite is Crank. Oh, I've seen that one actually. Crank is great. That's the one where he has to keep taking the drug, right? Well, he has to keep his heart rate above whatever, or he'll die. Yeah, I watched that when I was like 13.

Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, but I don't remember it. You do have a lot of things you don't 13. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. But I don't remember it, but yeah. You do, you have a lot of things you don't remember. Yeah, in fairness. It wasn't an unmemorable Statham film. I already watched that one. Yeah, all right. Give me a call, we'll watch it over the phone together.

Yeah, sure. Oh my goodness. You're on your bed, you're kicking your feet out. He is crank right now. Are you watching? Watch this part, watch this part. He's got a, what does he have? Oh, he's got like a jumpstart cable. Yeah, like a car battery on his tongue.

And he keeps putting like adrenaline needles in his leg and he does the pads, he blows himself out of an elevator. Yeah, Dwight Yoakam's in it. Dwight Yoakam's this drug dealer. My mom loves Dwight Yoakam. Oh, she'd love this movie. Yeah, yeah, does she like panic room? This last one comes from Logan.

Maybe Dwight Yoakam's my favorite actor. I can only name two movies he's in. But he's excellent. And they're great. Perfect, yeah. Yeah, I love, I think I love Dwight Yoakam too. I loved his songs. He was, yeah. Of course.

He was of the era I was growing up in Calgary. I hear a lot of Yokem. This last one comes from Logan from the San Francisco Bay area. While I was walking out of a concert, seeing the band Wednesday, I heard a British hipster say to his friend, for me as a nerd, give me more of that steel guitar in the mix.

As a nerd. As a nerd. Nerds like steel guitar? Logan specifically asked me to do a British accent. guitar in the mix. As a Ned. As a Ned. You're a Ned. You're a Ned. You like steel guitar? Logan specifically asked me to do a British accent. Oh, okay. Nice. Yeah.

You got it. What is steel guitar? Is it like, like, uh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like the sliding. Yeah. I thought steel guitar is like a normal guitar, but it's all steel and it has like a bunch

of holes in it. Really heavy. Like the cover of the Dire Straits album I don't know brothers and ours no it's like the one that's on your lap and you play with the old like blues I thought that was a slide well slide guitars when you play a regular guitar with one of these bad boys oh Oh, with a finger. Yeah, and then there's one, pedal steel and lap steel. Oh, okay.

And pedal steel has, you're also using pedals, and past guest Mark McConville told us all about it. Oh, shit. But. It's really for nerds though, that's why I don't. Oh, yeah. It's mostly for nerds. Yeah, you're right.

How am I supposed to get it? Yeah, exactly. Chick Magnet like myself. Never gonna get the steel guitar. I'm the Chad In addition over hers that are written and we also accept your phone calls If you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 That's one. Oh, it's by pod one like these people have Hey fellas, it's Adam from Toronto. I'm calling in with an overheard. I was in the park with my dog,

just fucking around throwing sticks and stuff. And a couple of kids were playing at the, and one of them holds up a stick that he found for his friend and he says, hey, look what I found. And his friend without missing a beat immediately stops what they're doing. Looks over and says, Oh, what is that? A loser stick. Anyway,

I've been dealing with this all day. It's everything I pick up is a loser rock. I'll lose it. Tortilla. My whole loser life. Yeah. Loser stick. I love it.

That's awesome. It's like you've been hit with a loser stick. Great kid slam. Yeah, oh yeah. Kids, man, they don't hold back. They slam. Yeah, they slam. Once you learn to do it, it's the best.

It's addictive, yeah. Once you know how to slam someone. Yeah. You can really tell who's got older siblings. It also, I remember the power of the first kid I know that did the middle finger. Cause it was like, when he did it, it was like, what is that? And it's new.

Yeah, it's new. You're going to love, you're not ready for it, but. Just kidding, man. It basically means F you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh God. I remember as a kid, like so many times when I heard about something something like a new word, I thought it was new.

And I was like, oh no, you're just getting this now because you're 12. Yeah. Look, I was the king of the castle at one point. I started out as a dirty rascal. I remember finding out like, hearing the word dillweed. Oh yeah, dillweed was good. Man, that should come back. And then years later, seeing it in a spice rack and be like dill weed.

Oh my God. No. Dill weed is a good one. He can still. Yeah. You can shout that out. Dill weed is okay. Yeah.

Goof is the big scary Alberta one. If somebody calls you a goof, then it's about to go down. A hundred percent. Even a lot of, a lot of places in BC do not say goof. Yeah. You know what goof means, right? Prison word, isn't it? Prison word.

Oh, I don't think I knew that. It is a prison for pedophile. Oh, okay. It's like, it's like Joe. Oh, so that's why everybody's always calling me a goof, not because they think I'm funny. I get it now. And Foster's is Australian for beer.

That's right. Yeah. All right, here's your next phone call. I really thought it was just like, you're a goofy guy. Hey, Dave, Graham and guests. I'm just calling with an overheard. I overheard my 20 something neighbors last night getting deep and talking about comedy.

And I heard them say, one guy was saying, I heard that comedy is tragedy over time. And another person says, no, no, it's comedy equals tragedy. And then the last guy was like, no, it's, I think it's comedy creates tragedy. There you go. And then the guy goes, oh, I'm actually working on a new comedy routine. I'm going to be like a weatherman and I'm going to say it's hot like 30 degrees out, but then I'm going to be wearing too many jackets. No, that's good. That's crazy for like 20 somethings to be like, all right, it's this weather guy, too many jackets.

Yeah, I'm gonna say it's hot, like 30 degrees. Hey everyone, it's hot, like 30 degrees. Imagine it's hot and it's like 30 degrees. Now imagine I'm a weather man. Okay, let me put all these jackets. Get a load of this. That's how like George Garland first became famous as he was like hot. hippie dippy weatherman.

So there, kids, learn that. There's a little history for ya. But did he, was he like, I knew he was the hippie dippy weatherman. I knew he used to wear a suit. Yeah. What was the hippie dippy weatherman? It would be like jokes like,

tonight's forecast, dark. That kind of joke. Yeah, that is good. Pretty much what it sounds like. Yeah, Ed Sullivan loved him. It would be like jokes like tonight's forecast dark Pretty much what it sounds like yeah, that's all of them. We'll love them. Yeah. Yeah and your final phone call Hi Dave and Graham and possible guest. This is Jackie from San Diego. I was just Getting some coffee and was walking out of the shop and there were two older dudes having a conversation I didn't hear like any of the context but all I heard was one of them saying, I'm not really a chicken guy. And then I felt, I thought, I think he needed the, or he felt the need to clarify because then he added,

I'm not really an eating pieces of chicken guy. Anyways, off I go. I love the animal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm not really an eating pieces of chicken guy. Anyways, off I go. I love the animals. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm not a chicken man. I don't eat an entire one, but not in pieces. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You roast one up, I'll eat the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Clones and all. Don't even roast it, I will inhale a live chicken. Yeah. Well. Who's not a chicken guy? It's the number one meat. Yeah. It is a number one meat. It's in everything. Colonel Sanders, he was not a chicken guy? It's the number one meat. Yeah. It is a number one meat. It's in everything.

Colonel Sanders, he was a big chicken guy. Oh my God. Yeah. I've heard about him. Who's the number two chicken guy? For sure it's Colonel Sanders. Popeye? He's number one.

Popeye, he likes spinach. He's a spinach guy. Oh my God. Yeah. Nice try, Dave. Okay, who's? Who's number two in there? Church's chicken guy?

Yeah, Jonathan Church. What? Ah. Chick-fil-A. Chick-fil-A, Monsieur Fil-A. Hmm. I mean, we could speculate. Yeah, number two chicken guy, boy, it's gonna.

Tie race. It sucks for them too, because knowing that they'll never be number one. Yeah. Like I'm toiling in obscurity, trying to be second best. Fuck. God damn it.

Well, thank you so much for being our guest, Bobby. Thank you so much for having me. This was great, man. Yeah, this was super fun. And yeah, please, next time you're in the Mouse House, give us a shout. Let us know. You bet.

Thank you. And I hope that fingernail grows back. It won't. Thank you. And thank you everybody out there for listening. If you do have mice in the house, get a cat. And if you have spiders in the house, they might grow to the size of a car. So keep on guard for both of those things

and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Foggy Podcasting Yourself.