Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 849 - Erica Sigurdson

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

Comedian Erica Sigurdson returns to talk ankle socks, Rube Goldberg machines, and haunted elevators.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 849 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who couldn't be more excited about the beginning of summer, Mr. Dave Schumke.

Yeah, I, boy. You danced around the maypole already. I did the maypole, I lit a sparkler, I watched the Fourth of July fireworks, I saw a man walk on the moon. Yeah, you saw a slow-motion American flag Yes, I saw a matinee with during the Cuban missile Yeah, these are all the classic American summer things Do you ever see that movie matinee?

John Goodman, yes about the like crazy theater that Yeah, that was good. I think it was a vibe. Yeah, it was a vibe. John Goodman's a vibe. John Goodman is a vibe. Yeah, he's not mid. He's a vibe. What if we found out he was a bad person? I would lose my mind.

Yeah. Yeah, but there's no way. John Goodman rules. Yeah, but he can be get so serious, so scary. Yeah, I know. He's, he's, he can go both ways. You ever see that Ted Cloverfield lane? Yeah.

So, so serious, man. And then sometimes he's just like Roseanne's husband. Yeah. Pardon me. Our guest today, a returning guest to the podcast, one of our all time favorites, so glad to have her here, it's Erica Singleton. Hello. Hello. Hi. Thanks for being our guest here. It's Erica Singleton. Hello. Hello. Hi. Thanks for being our guest again.

It's my pleasure. My pleasure. It's been about probably less than a year. Less than a year, because you were here last September. Ooh, that's right. I remember the leaves were just beginning to turn. They're so green, but they had intentions. Yeah, I saw them getting kind of droopy and I thought, hold on buddy, hold on, you got

one month left. Yeah, and everybody's going back to school. I know I was going back to school to finish, finish grade 12 finally. But they made me go to a public school. They wouldn't let me do a GED. You know what? Everybody thought you were a narc. This guy obviously is not in grade 12.

Because look how stupid he is. There's no way he made it to grade 12. Abby will sometimes show the kids, like, not a whole movie. Cause she'll be like, the kids were interested in watching Jaws. And she was like, well, let's just watch the shark parts. And I was like, you're gonna ruin it. The whole part is waiting for the shark.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then she showed the kids just the elementary school parts of Billy Madison. Oh yeah. And that was great. It was age appropriate. Yeah, and that's why, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good way to watch.

So when she just like zips through, like, okay, we're watching this scene, and then we're just zipping through to the next scene, how does she know when the next scene's gonna start? Usually after the earlier one, oh, you mean the shark ones? Yeah. I don't know. And then the kids wanted to watch Titanic,

and I've never seen Titanic, and I was excited like, oh, let's finally watch Titanic. Because we watched Jurassic Park, and it was kind of boring for the first hour, but then it goes nuts. And I was like, I think Titanic works the watched Jurassic Park and it was kind of boring for the first hour, but then it goes nuts. And I was like, I think Titanic works the same way. It's like kind of boring. And then-

Still like almost like an hour and 45 minutes before things start like- Heating up. Yeah, popping off. And, but I've never seen it before and the kids had never seen it. And I was like, oh, I'm excited. And then Abby just showed them her favorite parts

and so ruined it. Oh, I feel like this is a real disservice to them in the future where people will be referencing parts of the movies and they'll be like, that never happened. Yeah, I think you should show them horror movies where in the first like 10 minutes, everything's great. The family's just moved into a beautiful house, got a new job, the girl's gonna go to new school.

But there, I think in my kid's generation, they won't, like movies are on their way out. Tell that to Martin Scorsese and James Cameron, right? James Cameron, his movies are here forever. Do you guys see The Last Avatar? It was great. Yeah, it was great. But I see it.

No. When's the last time you were in a movie theater? When's the last time you saw a new movie theater? When's the last time you saw a movie? Sunday, and the week before that, I saw two movies in the same day. We saw Hitman. Oh, was it good? Yeah, it was.

Was that Glenn Powell? It was. They are really pushing him into everything right now. We talked about him a couple of weeks ago, because when I saw The Fall Guy, it was Twisters and Hitman. Yeah. Hitman's like co-written by Glenn Powell. Yeah, we saw the Fall Guy, it was Twisters and Hitman. And Hitman is like co-written by Glenn Powell. Yeah, we saw Fall Guy and that one with Olivia Colman,

Wicked Little Letters or Wicked Letters. It's really, yeah, it's a very interesting true story. And then right into Fall Guys. So two very different movies. Yeah, for Hitman. We love the movies and it's making me very sad that the theaters are practically empty whenever we go. Do you see Furiosa?

No, is that a- Mad Max? Mad Max. Oh, that What About Me makes you think I would go see a Mad Max situation. Yeah, you're more wicked little letters kind of. Yeah, I'm more of Olivia Coleman. Lots of quiet.

And a riot gosselin' where he's all buff. Yeah. Really, I had to stop myself when he comes out without- Stop yourself for what? That's right. Really? Squeezing J's, like if you're with a- Squeezing J's what?

Yeah. Like if you were with a girlfriend watching that scene where he comes out and he's like, you'd just see all his muscles and you'd be like looking at your girlfriend like, hello. And I like almost squeezed Jay's knee and then I was like, well, that's not appropriate. Doesn't make any man feel good when your wife's like,

holy shit. I remember seeing once upon a time in Hollywood and there's a scene where Brad Pitt's like, you know, fixing shingles on a roof, and he takes his shirt off, and there was an audible like, wow. I just watched a Jason Statham movie, and he has a shirt off at one point. I was just like, this is really a selling point of Jake Gyllenhaal and Roadhouse. It still works.

Yeah. With all the CGI and everything, it's still just like- Yeah, try to AI that. Yeah, just show me a good looking person's body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put a little oil on it too. That used to be what movies were in the 1920s. It would just be somebody flexing.

They'd be like, whoa, check out the Marx brothers' body. Yeah. Do we want to get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. Yeah, I feel like I'm part of the reason that movie theaters are going under. I very rarely go.

But I love it. Every time I go, I love it. I know you. You're a big joiner. You're like getting deals on things. You're a Cineplex club member. Of course I'm a Cineplex. Oh my gosh.

And not only am I a member, I have promoted it to many other people. Yeah, I remember there was a thing on the Vancouver subreddit. People were complaining. They were like, I was at a movie, and these Cineplex people came up and started talking to everyone, trying to get them to join this thing where you get a free movie a month and you get discounts for everyone else and you get discounts on food. And all the comments were like, oh, sounds great. I'm going to join that.

And you get to bank your credit. So you're out of town for a month, come back next month. Guess what? Two movies. Exactly. And then also like concession. Yeah, it's like 20% off. You get 20% off just for your scene membership, even if you don't have the,

if you don't pay the monthly, whatever, 10 bucks. Why is this a North America wide, or is this a Canada? This is a Canada thing, because they've tried like. Oh yeah, they had something in America. Yeah, there's like a documentary about it now, about the movie pass blast or whatever. Yeah, and then you can really start double dipping if you get your movie passes at Costco,

and then you enter the code into the app, and then there's popcorn, there's drinks, there's so much happening, you're practically getting paid to go to the film. I feel like- I might be responsible for bringing movies back. Yeah. Cineplex, reach out.

I was responsible for bringing sexy back. Were you? Yeah. I thought Jay-Z had a hand in that, did he not? No, I think you're thinking of Justin Timberlake. No, but isn't there a sense where he throws it to Jay-Z? Is that- Maybe Timbaland?

I still feel like it's Hove, which was Jay-Z, right? Hov is jay-z. Yeah, Jehovah He throws it to me so Yeah, he says get up now or something like that into the bridge Unknowable But you I you're the one person I know that uses all the, you do it at hotels. I feel like you may be the only person that is keeping that alive.

I think a lot of people are like, nah, I'm not. You're not, you're so much more than that, right? Even though that's all we ever do. Yeah. What about you? What if that's all I was? I just, it was like, you come over to my place and there's just memberships

and red string, like, okay. Like, well, Jay's in Calgary this weekend, staying at a very lovely Marriott for free on my point. Nice, very nice. Getting all the perks. A massage. Could you imagine? What?

You used up my entire account? He's getting all the perks at a Marriott. I mean, I'm like, uh, he's the business center. Yeah. He's pretty, he's pretty good. He's coming back with his three novels printed out. He is there for a jujitsu conference seminar, conference training, training. Yeah. But you do that as well. I do not do jujitsu anymore. What do you do?

Nothing. I just work out. But didn't you train, like, did you go all the way up? Yeah, I got my black belt, and then I was like, I'm out. Is there anything beyond black belt? There's so much. Like, what else?

All I know is black belt. There's like double black belt. Yeah, like you get stripes, and then like now in the jiu-jitsu that he takes, his belt is now purple. I thought purple was earlier, no? In every, I find every martial art, the only thing that's pretty consistent is you hit brown

and then black and then it's open season on the rainbow. I had a black belt, I got a black belt in karate and then they started doing stripes. They gave me a white stripe on my black belt and then this horny skunk tried to have sex with me. Oh no. Dave. So you could kill a person, right?

Easily? Well, not easily, but if you had to. If I had to. Yeah, okay. I'm just saying. I feel like the only way I could do that is I have to play very dirty and have to have a weapon. And you have to have just seen Roadhouse. Yeah, I gotta be pumped up for the fight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I, because Jay's away right now, I have figured out, so my weakest thing is that I'm a very sound sleeper. So this is also going to be a problem. If someone's already standing over me with a weapon, I feel like they have the upper hand in a big way. So I have, as he's gone away, first I have I've hung a bell on the door. First line of defense, a very, so either a cat has broken in or someone is- Or it's lunchtime.

Yeah, or it's lunch. I wake up hungry, that'll get me up. That'll get me out of bed. And then if I swing my closet door, so the one door will hit the other door. And then I have my little fold down Costco dolly. I don't know why I'm so concerned that someone's breaking. So you have like a home alone.

I have a home alone setup. So there's basically no way anyone could open that door unless they got an axe. And as I went to bed last night, I was like, oh, I sure hope I don't have a serious diabetic episode in the middle of the night. Right. Can't get out. Paramedics are just hoping they hit me with

juice boxes. They got their hose hooked up. Oh my god. They probably have an axe. Yo, they have an axe, definitely. But what if the attacker has an axe? I'm sure you bought some kind of axe-proof blanket on Instagram. I have a weighted blanket, but the weight is actually a chainmail. Nice, smart, smart. Do you have a weighted blanket? No. Oh, you seem like that's a kind of a product you would go for.

Well, I would consider our duvet weighted. It's like, Jay bought me this years ago for my birthday, unrequested by me, a New Zealand wool, snap together, double layer duvet that is, like literally when I'm making the bed, I'm like, whoo, like it's so heavy and it's so hot. And I like to sleep in a light blanket with the window open.

Guess who likes sleeping under a heavy, hot blanket. For you. For me. Happy birthday. It's a drill. Um. I'm always like, Abby always says I'm terrible to shop for cause I just, I'll buy what I want.

Yeah. Dave's a real brightzilla too. Try to get him an anniversary from a little boy. You said he bought you this unrequested blanket. Are you supposed to ask for presents? Are you supposed to just leave little hints? I find that that's the best way. Not like if you're going out and like, here's an odd trinket that you never would have thought

of. But otherwise, if somebody says they want a robe, get them a robe. Yeah. Yeah. Because things, and the reason I say unrequested is because my husband, and I do feel like, hashtag not all men, but a lot of times there's a leaving it to the last minute and then sheer and utter panic and an overspending on something that is not 100% appropriate.

Like he got me, and this is gonna sound like I'm such a, it's really nice. So he got me like a wool lined with mink, like fur wrap with a matching hat. Well, you're always, you're a society. You're always making a society. And well, this is the thing. He bought me this beautiful, like, long cashmere coat, and then he bought me, like, diamond ear, but we never, I'm like, where am I wearing all of these

things? Yeah, yeah. Like, you gotta start taking me to the places. Yeah. You're really gonna impress the coat check girl. I know, and I don't wanna leave it at at the coat check because I'm like well this coat was $2,500. I'm not leaving it in some rando coat check. Yeah I've worn it twice. Because also Vancouver's not, it doesn't get that cold. I know. So and also it's wet so I'll see you don't want

to fart though. You're waiting for the sunniest mid-temperature December day that you also have tickets to the opera. It's very specific. It's a strange thing. A month ago, Charlie Demaris texted me and said, I know this is out of the blue, but I have an extra ticket to the opera tonight. And I was like, this is the most Fraser Crane invitation I've ever had in my entire life. But also I was like, I don't know what I'd wear. I have no idea what you wear to an opera. A suit, a tuxedo.

I once went to, what was it? It was like Paul McCartney had written this like operetta that was playing like, you know, either the Orpheum or the Playhouse or something. And my dad and I went and it was just dudes in jeans. Yeah, you can always count on a dude in jeans. You don't want to be the dude in jeans. Yeah. Yeah. We had this discussion years ago, overdressed versus underdressed. Yeah. And you said, did

you have this on the debaters? No, it wasn't. This is just a casual debate. It was a casual debate that I think should be a debaters. But like, because you said- Did you have this on the debaters? No, it wasn't. No, this is just a casual debate. It was a casual debate that I think should be a debater's, but like, cause you said it's better to be underdressed. And I said, no, it's always better to be overdressed. Even though you might look like a lunatic. Yeah. Like. But you can always claim ignorance

if you're underdressed, right? I don't know, I have no idea. Like in the opera, you can wear a suit to the opera. Yeah. But do you have to have little? No. Little glasses? Little glasses.

But you could wear, if you were a tuxedo and you're the only one in a tuxedo, that's overdressed. But also it's the opera, so people are gonna be like, hey, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a man who, he probably is from New York or something. He's probably going to some,

he probably came from a tuxedo function and is going to a tuxedo function. So he's the alpha. He was a tuxedo everybody. Do you own a tuxedo Dave? And I'm not asking you, Graham, for obvious reasons. No, I own a dinner jacket and I could put together a little. Tuxedo action? Yeah. Okay. No, I've never, never, I've never even rented a tuxedo, but here's the thing.

I've never had an occasion to wear a tuxedo. Exactly. Do you have a tuxedo? I don't have a tuxedo. Okay. Does Jay? No. I took him for his birthday a couple years ago and got two custom suits made.

Nice. He still wears his black suit that he's had for 15, 20 years. Right. Just left. And I convinced him to get like a lavender color shirt. I don't know, that's his cashmere, like he's not wearing that ever. You overspent, you spent $1,500.

Yeah, it was very expensive. My kids, so apparently the word preppy now doesn't refer to like overall like preppy style. It just refers to- Meal prep. Yeah, my kids are like, oh, you're doing some preppy work in the slow cooker? No, it's like, just like lavenders and like Easter colors.

That's preppy? That's preppy. Like light yellows and pinks and greens. But I can picture when I think of a preppy guy, I'm thinking of a light yellow sweater being tied around the neck. Yeah, yeah, definitely. But in their eyes, it's just like, oh yeah, your hair is totally preppy. You colored it pink. Oh. Yeah, what's the thing that just came out is that Gen Z hates ankle socks. Ankle socks.

I'm so angry about this for seven reasons. Go on. Here we go. First of all, I'm wearing ankle socks right now. Because if you go into Costco, Old Navy, anywhere, it's nothing but ankle socks. They have been putting all of their stock in ankle socks for years. So I'm gonna guess on the outside,

we have about 12 billion pairs of ankle socks rocking around. And none of them match. Well, they don't need to, nobody can see them. That's the beauty of ankle socks rocking around. And none of them match. Well, they don't need to, nobody can see them. That's the beauty of the ankle sock. And now you're supposed to wear crew socks, but. What's a crew sock? It's just a little higher.

Yeah, like a little bit higher. But like now, this is the generation that should save the environment and we're gonna throw away 12 billion ankle socks. Yeah, thanks for putting that on this one generation. You guys are in charge of the environment starting now. Go. Well, we've proven that the generation above us

doesn't care. That's true. And you guys are elder millennials where I'm a younger gen X. Yeah, that's true. And you guys are elder millennials. Oh, and I. Where I'm a younger gen X. Right. Yeah, that's right. And I care, but I'm powerless. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm powerful. Yeah. I don't care. Yeah. I just, luckily, ankle socks, that's not a deal breaker for me. I don't give a shit if the three generations for now think I'm cool. Because that's not going to be even under consideration.

The thing that's all over TikTok is like, you could like younger millennials are like, I have to wear crew socks because they don't know that I'm like a millennial. They think, but I'm like, I think they're pretty clear on how old I am, regardless of sock height. Like nobody's like, what if it just started? You like POV like my ankles and they then see a crew sock

and they're like, let's check out this 18 year old. Whoa! They yelled at her. Whoa, jail bait over here. No, wait. Have you ever seen like a senior citizen wearing something that only young people wear? Like I saw a senior citizen wearing like skateboard shoes.

Yeah. I was like, huh, I've never seen. And it didn't seem inappropriate. It just seemed like he, I don't know, stole his kid's shoes or something like that. The best is like eight year olds in skinny pants. Yeah. Like, huh, you're this slim as in.

Well, good, because you've been losing quite a bit of body mass. Your musculature is suffering in your old age. You're fit. I imagine you'll be fit all in your elder life. Have you always been fit? No. I just have lost 26 pounds, which you're not allowed to know. That's a great thing about losing weight right now is no one's allowed to comment on your body. So you feel really good and everyone just ignores you. Are they allowed to comment on your body to each other?

Yes. I mean, I think people have been doing it behind their backs. Oh, sure. Always. Yeah. Um, yeah, so I'm on this cause I am turning 50 at the end of the year, send gifts to stop podcasting yourself. They will get them to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it going to be a big blowout? I don't know. It's gotta be something. I mean, you know, I do love celebrating my birthday and this is a big blowout? I don't know. It's gotta be something. I mean, you know I do love celebrating my birthday and this is a big one and now I'm like. Oh, so you're not that young a Gen X. Shut your face.

You're pretty medium Gen X. Okay, well you're a real older millennial. Absolutely, I might even be a young Gen X. You might be a young Gen X. So I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but I was like, okay, I wanna get in really good shape before. Cause I had kind of let the fitness lapse in,

like through COVID. Yeah. Woo. I mean, I went into COVID, woo. And then it did not help. So yeah, I've been like obsessed with closing my apple rings and it's not like mentally good for my health. Like my knee is so sore, but I'm like, you get out there.

You get on your bike and you ride around the Seawall. Yeah, and you do? I sure do. I have closed them every single day since January 5th. Oh, shit. So what are your rings? Does everyone get the same rings or do you have to specify like-

You specify like how many- Are you gonna need to stand up in the middle of this podcast? No, because I got up early this morning. I've already done my weights this morning. I did my standing. I did all my standing for the day. You have to stand one minute out of every hour for, mine is set for 11 hours, which one minute doesn't seem like a lot, but I think it's designed obviously for people

if you just work at a desk all day, you could sit there for four hours and never move your legs. Yeah, that's true. I guess so, but having worked in an office job, you get up all the time and you're like, hey, what's going on over there? Yeah, true. I meant people who actually do their jobs, Dave.

Oh, for sure. The hard workers. But like sometimes on the plane, so, Meyerhag got, Paul Meyerhag also on the Snowden comedy tour, got an Apple Watch while we were on tour. And so we'd be on a flight and at the same time our Apple Watches would go, time to stand up. And so we'd both stand up and we kind of realized you can't just stand up in the aisle. You have to go to the bathroom and dance. You have to dance?

Well, you have to get your arms moving because it's always on your wrist. So we could have done it in the middle of... They ground the plane. Something's going on. There's some sort of episode happening on the plane. It's affected two people. These two people are coordinating something with each other. They're using a hand signal.

Let's roll. Yeah. It's time. So it is quite funny when that happens because we got in a competition. You can also compete with people. Right. But what is it like what I know closing the loop

means finishing it, but do you set the loop? Yeah, so I have like calories set at like 600 calories. My exercise is 45 minutes a day. What does it mean? Does it know how many calories you're eating? Burning. Oh, you're burning. Oh, okay.

I'm only eating 600 calories. Watch out for that cake. Rub some cake on your watch. Mmm, yummy. Don't eat too much. I don't know why that's the point. Rub some cake on your watch. Mmm, yummy. Don't eat too much. I don't know why that's the point. And I quit drinking for, yesterday was five months.

For yesterday? Just yesterday. Yeah, I quit drinking for yesterday. But I'm back at it today. It's 11 a.m. I've done my weight, so have a beer after. And how does that feel? Is it just because when you were on tour?

Because that's when you quit, right? What, will start tour? Yeah, yeah. So I quit three days into the tour. It was a real rough third night. Well, cause it's like really hard to get in shape and lose weight if you are still drinking alcohol Especially at the rate that you drink it on tour. Yeah, so then I was like, okay

I'm not gonna drink till I lose 25 pounds and now I just I don't feel like drinking. So yeah Yeah, fair enough. You you've had non-alcoholic wine or beer you've had non-alcoholic wine or beer or? Oh my God. This is where my personality comes in because I am now so focused on finding there's mocktails and non-alcoholic wine that even BC Liquor Store is carrying it.

And so I'll take a bottle of wine to an event, but now I really have to make it obvious. Because sometimes people just start drinking other people's wine. Yeah. Which isn't like, I'm not getting enough of a buzz. I know they're like doubting it. So I, I'm like, how do you make this just subtly like stay away from this? You know, do I keep it in my purse the whole night?

Cause if somebody drinks mine, I can't drink theirs. Usually I wouldn't care. And I say that, but I would care. And be like, that guy's been drinking my wine all night. He didn't even bring a bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's always that guy. Then I got to get the purse wine.

Just with a straw out of your purse. Yeah. The non-alcoholic gin and vodka I see in stores, I'm confused about that, because I feel like so many cocktails people make, you're just trying to kill the flavor of the alcohol to begin with. So just like, you know, have some.

Just make it without it. Yeah, just have soda and lime. Yeah, exactly. Just have a Coke instead of a Roman Coke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, isn't there a whole store that pop up in back door? Mocktails. Yeah. Yeah, on commercial drive.

It's really cool actually. Yeah. But it's expensive. Like I'm spending more, well, there's like a Rose that I really like at BC Liquor Store that's only $14.99. So that's great. And the, but like the nice red wines are quite expensive because or else they taste like shit. So.

I get my non-alcoholic wine I get is from Welch's. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. It's got a good nose. Have you guys seen that? Like a Berry Blast or just. Yeah.

I get a Paja Blast. Have you guys seen that movie? Like a Barry Blast or just the- Yeah, usually, yeah. Like in a Paja Blast. Have you guys seen- She's got well to the- Oh yeah. I was like, oh, is it time? Is it time for you to have your sugar? Oh God, her blood sugar's dropping. Also, you need to stand up at the same time.

Have you guys seen that movie Mocktail? It's with Tom Cruise. It's so funny. It's like a funny version of Cocktail. Are they dropping it? Yeah, he's doing the flare bar. Ice is hitting people in the face. That actually would be really funny sketch.

Yeah, sketch. I'm thinking a 90 minute movie. Did you know that movie is the story of TGI Fridays? It is? Yeah. Because the Cocktails and Dreams is of TGI Fridays? It is? Yeah. Because the Cocktails and Dreams is what TGI Fridays is? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. Huh. I might be wrong. But I think it's like, I feel like in the 80s, there was the first time they had like ladies nights and like this whole bars used to be like a men's thing and then they invented singles bars and then Tom Cruise put on some sunglasses and slid into the room. Different movies. I used to live above three bartenders and they were in the yard always practicing the flair with like weighted.

Like wooden. Yeah, wooden weighted bottles. Oh, they were so bad at it. It was amazing. They dropped it all the time. It's like maybe flair bartending isn't for you. Maybe just be, you know, work at a hotel and just pour drinks and make friendly, you know,

conversation. And also, have you ever been waiting for your drink at a bar and like, you're like, I to get back to this conversation And the bartenders flipping the thing is I'm like, could you just pour that into the glass, please? Like or if you order a beer you like come on fancy it up. Look how long the line is No, I can do it and then a way way No, I can do it. I can do it. And then, no, wait, wait. I can do it.

And then he smashes a glass into the ice, so they have to empty the entire ice thing and wipe it all out. Yeah, it's, uh, I also think of Coyote Ugly in that. Although, was that a bad... I think they just get up and dance. But then nobody could serve drinks while they're on the bar dancing. That's true. The things I remember from that, they get up and dance.

They cut out, if you're wearing a necktie, they cut it off. And then girls throw their bras on something, right? Yeah, I feel like there's some sort of bra. I feel like my friend threw her bra when we were in Vegas. Whoa! And the bar is like packed

and people are trying to, like the whole, there's nothing to do at the bar except get to the bar like it's just like a mosh pit of people trying to get served by Tyra Banks oh yeah she was a parable for parable and Maria Bello although she was more the manager oh okay I don't think I it's possible I've never seen coyote ugly it's great no it by reputation. But- Do you want to know the story of him? Speaking of John Goodman. He's a DJI writer. John Goodman's in that.

He is? He plays Piper Barabas' dad. Okay. She moves from New Jersey to be a singer-songwriter. Obviously. And so her nickname is Jersey, as if she's the first person to move from New Jersey to New York. And then she works at Coyote Ugly.

Yeah. She just want to do it. She wants to be a singer-songwriter. Yeah. Then she writes Can't Fight the Moonlight. Oh, she writes it. By Leanne Rimes and Leanne Rimes sings it at Coyote Ugly. Wow. That's a good story.

She dates an Australian guy. You lost me. Yeah, I mean, you lost me. Yeah. Would that be Magic Mike? Was that like a woman version of Magic Mike, the Coyote Ugly or has there been a female version? Slurptease? The Hustlers movie. Hustler Hustlers. Yeah.

Slurptease, not the classic. Which one are they? Showgirls? Yeah, Showgirls. Yeah, because, yeah, in Coyote Ugly, they don't strip. Right, I guess in Magic Mike's strip. They're dancers, right? Well, they're singer-songwriters.

Yeah. Why were you in Vegas when your friend threw the bra? Was this a bachelorette? No, this is years ago. We went once for my birthday and then two other times, and then I just went to Vegas on May long weekend for a wedding, which I did so. Oh yeah, this past weekend or this past month.

Yeah. How was that being sober in Las Vegas? It was fine. Like the only time that I was at the actual dinner for the wedding, it was at Mona Mee Gabi and it was really nice. Was it Mona Mee Gabi? It was at Mona Mee Gabi

and I was wearing a cashmere coat and it was so hot. No. No. No. They had like this like fancy wine cart that they had opened all these really nice bottles of red wine. And then I was at the end of the table and decided to put it right beside me.

So I was just like, oh, I would really go with this prime rib that I'm having right now. Whose voice is that say, Erica, Erica, come back to us? Yeah. Yeah. And I had at that point only lost like 24 pounds. So I was like.

Oh, you need to get that extra fat. Oh. I go to the bathroom, throw up, come back. But it does seem like a place that's custom tailored to being drunk. Oh my god. It was... The best.

The best. Yeah, it actually, like, I just drank Heineken Zero everywhere I went. Do they, do these non-alcoholic ones have less calories? Yes. Oh, okay. Is it the alcohol is the reason why? It's the alcohol, so when you have alcohol, basically your liver's so busy processing the alcohol that if you're like, it's you're not burning fat. If you let's say you eat

200 calories over, it's just kind of storing it as fat. So it goes to story. So anytime I've had great success losing weight, it has been, I got gotta cut out the booze. Yeah. So there we go. How was the wedding? The wedding was great. It was at the Neon Museum. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was cool.

It was very hot. Is that outdoor? Yeah. Okay. And yeah, I saw a photo. You were all outdoors. And I was like, God, it looks hot. Oh, it was hot that day.

And they actually, we looked, myself and Suzanne, who is married to Dan Quinn, we were looking for umbrellas, because I was like, we're gonna be standing outside and we couldn't find them. You can't find umbrellas in Vegas because they're like, yeah, it never rains here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's, yeah. And you were like, what about parasols? Oh, well, sure. And then we learned from Paul Meyerhogg's partner, Cecile, who is French from France, that the word parasol is not a sun umbrella, it's a rain umbrella. And like, I always consider a parasol like-

Made out of silk or something. Yeah, for the sun. Other French word is parapluie, which was pluie is rain and soleil is sun, so. Well, well, come on. I'm going to go with the woman who lives in France and was born there. Yeah, but what about the guy who did French immersion and now speaks French to kind of make fun of French people?

Okay. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Did you find an umbrella? No, but when we got to the Neon Museum, as we paid to get in, guess what they had for us? Nice. Umbrella.

That's great. Yeah. Because everybody was in suits. Yeah. It reminds me of Katie Allen's very funny joke about how weddings are the only time women have the advantage. Basically, it's because we're in like, we're all in sundress, like dresses with no sleeves, and then the men are in like three piece, just dying. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Have you ever gone to a destination wedding? Yeah. Yeah, where'd you go? I went to my brother's wedding in Vietnam. Vietnam, okay. I went to Abby's brother's wedding in Colombia. Colombia, oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, yeah.

For my whirlwind 48 hour trip to Colombia. Is that the one where your passport didn't work? Or was that? Oh no. My passport worked great. But I think Poppy was like nine months old at the time. So one of us had to come back. So Abby stayed and I came back. Yeah, I've never been to one.

No, I've been invited to a couple, but it's like where you'd have to stay at a resort and you have to pay for all that kind of stuff and then still give them a gift. You feel like you had to give them a gift even after that? I think if you travel for a wedding, you're not obligated to give a gift? You feel like you had to give them a gift even after that? I think if you travel for a wedding, you're not obligated to give a gift. I did give a gift, but yeah.

This coat that you'll never wear? It was a coat that I'll never wear. It was very passive aggressive. I want you to try it on now. I said, congratulations, I guess I have to do this. And then just put some cash in there. When I go to Vegas I always bring a umbrella because I'm goth I stay at the Edward Gore you can see no there is a goth day at Disneyland and I imagine that's pretty umbrella heavy also just it looks like a lot of fun it would be a

lot of fun to be that I don't't I associate umbrellas with Goths? Why do you, why? Just for like the sun, just one more parasol, I guess. Okay. Like picture, like, I feel like Tim Burton leans on the old umbrella. It's got like a lot of characters that have fancy umbrellas. As walking sticks as well.

Yeah, yeah, that's a good umbrella. You definitely lean on those. Yeah. Absolutely. You ever see someone rocking around the city with like, equals? Yeah. And you're like.

I don't understand. I guess I get it for a trail, but when I see it in the city, I'm like, are they, is that basically like, a cane for you? I wonder, there's a guy in my building that uses them and I have never asked, but I think it's to engage the rest of your body. I think you need to also, yeah, engage your arms.

Yeah. And so I think it's more like, oh, sorry, I can't help carry your groceries. Yeah, oh, sorry. Oh, that's nice. If you have any change, no, but I'll poke you in the face with this. Okay. Deal.

What's going on with you, Dave? Oh, well, Margot has been homesick all week with a mystery ailment. Yeah. But she also has a science project due next week. Ah, shit. And so she's good like most of the day. She just has a couple hours a day where she's not good.

And so in those good hours, we've been doing the science project. And this year, her whole class's science project is a Rube Goldberg machine. Nice, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have to do, like, it has to have at least like six collisions

or six components or whatever. And it has to end with turning on a flashlight. Oh, okay. Cool. And they gave all the kids like a battery and a little circuit thing and a piece of tin foil to be like the flashlight. And it worked for a couple days as we were doing it and then it stopped working.

Oh shit. And so we've then switched to just a regular flashlight. The rule was it has to be a pressure, use pressure to turn on the flashlight. So how do you create the pressure? Buddy, I'm very proud of how I created the pressure. Yeah, whatever, I do. Because Margo told me the things she wants to use, we kind of arranged the order of everything,

and then I put it together. And, okay, so, starts with a golf ball on a string that she pulls back and it's a pendulum. Okay. And that hits some dominoes classic the dominoes these are up on a like on top of the table so we haven't been able to use our dinner table all week on top of the table and then and on top of the table is this sort of like footstool that we've been using as the highest part. Okay, then the

dominoes knock down a marble which goes around the leg of the footstool on a little ramp. Okay. That ramp, that marble lands in a cup that is on one end of a lever. Okay. Or a lever. Or a lever. I honestly. I don't know. I use one of them to clean my 2000 parts. I know that. Yeah, I was thinking is it lever or lever? It's lever for 2000 parts.

There are so many words. Like I knew the Canadian versus American and I've just lost it. I've just. Yeah. Dekel dekel. Yeah. Well, no one ever says dekel. But like paper route, paper route, paper route. Root anyway, lands on the lever or lever.

And at the other end of the lever, there's a toy car atop a ramp. And so that ends up going down the ramp, knocks a tiny cup of water. OK, into a funnel that's hanging on the edge of the table. The water then drips down and underneath at the bottom of the table there is the flashlight pointing down with a tube on top at the top of the, like a toilet paper tube, at the top of the tube is a large marble suspended there with toilet paper. So the toilet paper then gets wet, the marble falls through the tube, lands on the flashlight and lights it up.

Nice! And so Margo's been sick, so we set it up and like, I'm like, okay. And you just have to, you have to like fill out a form of what you did and... Consent for. Well, she has to feel like answer these questions for the science project and draw what she did. And then you also have to film yourself doing it. Okay.

So my camera is now maybe 100 videos of failed attempts. And then sometimes she's like not feeling well and I'm like, okay, can you, I just need you to pull the pendulum and then start the thing going. It'll take five seconds. And she's like, I can't right now. So it'll go like hours between attempts and it's very frustrating. But last night got got it. Nice. And we were so happy.

I watched the video a hundred times. I shot the video in slow motion. Nice. Are you gonna set it to music? Cause I do feel like thunderstruck maybe. That's not bad. Although in slow motion, it's really good with like the sounds of like the, yeah, the dominoes.

Good sound effects you guys. Thank you. I felt like I was really. Right there sound effects, you guys. I felt like I was really... Right there? Yeah, right there. So will you just keep this project to use for Poppy? And hope she gets a teacher that, like, Poppy, we're changing your last name for this year. And the paperwork does seem excessive.

We have set a computer virus on your teacher's email, so she lost Margo's email. Oh, that's so cool. I never had to do anything like that. It's like, as far as science projects go, it was so exciting. They gave us like four weeks to work, gave her four weeks to work on it. I was so excited, but we did kind of wait for the last week, I guess, to do it. That's assignments. You got to wait for the last week, I guess, to do it. That's assignments.

You got to wait until the last week and panic. Yeah. That's the way it's done in school. That's the American way. Yeah. So I have a homework question as someone who does not have children. It seems like we're really having this pushback just in society. Like you do your job that you're paid for

and then you go home and you shouldn't be doing extra work for your company. And everybody is like, because when you die, you'll be replaced within a week. Or you won't even notice. They won't notice. They just won't replace you. Yeah, they'll just roll you into the alley and wait for the... For the coroner to show up. Free, with a sign that says free.

Yeah. Your badge is just ripped off your neck. So, like, don't you think excessive homework is just training kids to be these, I don't know. Yeah, I- I don't know what the answer is. I'm anti-homework as well. This is the first year we've really had homework in grade four,

and it is, this is like the most, well, generally it's like, here is the, you need to do these three pages of math. If you do them in class, you're done. Right. But if you didn't, then you have to finish them. And then the other homework is like, you have a spelling test on Friday. Here are your words on Monday. Right. So practice. That's not other homework is like, you have a spelling test on Friday, here are your words on Monday. Right. So practice. That's not really homework.

And like, they because to Graham's point about leaving it to the last minute, like I was, I was classic last minute. Yeah. Percent, right? Because like you go into suddenly you're at school, having fun, doing nothing really really important and then homework starts like no one ever taught kids how to break down a big project You know what I mean? Yeah, they're just like hey in six months you have this colossal project due. Bye And then like the night before you're like telling your parents. Yeah, I was supposed to be growing a plant telling your parents, I was supposed to be growing a plant this whole time. Yeah, I was supposed to come to school with the full progression of how a caterpillar turns into a butterfly. Listen, I was supposed to be keeping a gerbil alive. This is time to admit,

number one, I do know where that smell is coming from. Oh no, we had like, she's had a couple projects that were like, talk to your grandparents about... Seattle. Talk to your doctor about that, purple pill. No, it was like, they did a thing on like, Canadian history and immigration to Canada and the push factors that pushed you to leave your old country and the pull factors from Canada and that was like immediately like okay

Abby's dad is Did all our ancestry calm right like it's got knows every family members story talk to him and it was like and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house,

and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, and we would go to Margo's house, And then the other half was like, North America. Like we moved to North America in the 20s or 30s. Right.

And then- My grandparents are dead. End of- End of project. And then Abby's dad was like, oh, well you could do any of these family members. Why don't you do this guy who moved to Canada in the 1600s?

Jesus. I know his whole story. So- Who was he? Was he a? He was French. He got a plot of land from the king. Came over with his parasol. Yeah. Parasol. Like I should have brought my paraplue for this kind of weather. But yeah, so other than that, and then over spring break was the worst

because the teacher was like, here's 40 pages of math to do. And we were like, okay, let's break it down. If you do five pages of math over eight days, you can get it done. Or if you do 10 pages of math over four days, you can get it done. Or the other math where you're like,

how much would it cost to get somebody to do this for me? Yeah. Because I feel like I did that when I was in maybe junior high, paid somebody to... Did you? Yeah. Where you getting this cash from? Eh, birthdays.

Mostly, I just like see if she's kind of understood the concepts. And then once she has, I'm like, okay, that's 14, that's 22. Let's fill in the rest of it. Let's get going. Yeah yeah yeah we have fun to get to it's spring break yeah. We gotta get I gotta start thinking about this Rube Goldberg machine. Or you do it with candy and then she gets to keep the candy. That's not enough of a motivator. That's true I guess if they get candy anyways. They do get candy anyways in this home. She's just eating handfuls of candy as you're trying to.

Yeah. I don't know why she's got this stomach problem. Anyway, it was very exciting. Oh, that's so much fun. Check it out. Do your own Rube Goldberg machines. Yeah. The teacher sent home a form that was like, okay, here's some examples of Rube Goldberg machines. There was two and one of them was just that OK Go video.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's such a big scale and there's so many things you can't tell what's triggering like paintballs shooting out. Yeah, he was a big adventure. Oh yeah. First seen as a big Rube Goldberg. Yeah, what are the other famous ones? I mean the Rube Goldberg machines themselves. The one in Back to the Future? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one where the toast pops up? Yeah. The one that I set up in my house to print. Yes. It's a reverse one. There's that Honda ad where they used every portion of a Honda car and it like, there's

like the things spin and something activates the windshield wipers and they crawl across the ground. It's all freaky. Cool. I've never seen that. Check it out. I'm gonna. What's going on with you?

Oh, very little. Very little. I've been scraping the bottom of the barrel here. But I watched a movie last night called Fall, which is- Fall Guy with Ryan Reynolds, Gosling. You guys have heard of this? Yeah, we're squeezing each other. Well, that's my story.

You squeeze any knees when you saw him? Yeah, the stranger next to me. And I went, I will I went I did it I watched this movie called fall which also had a you know in a movie sometimes has two names that there was that it was marketed under and like so this one was called fall but the other name for it was the shaft and I could see why they went with fall instead of the shaft all Fall reminds me of that time Erica was here and she just noticed the leaves kind of thinking about maybe. Yeah, that's what it's about, it's about the fall.

And it was this movie from 2000 and it had- Lever 2000? Yep. It had Naomi Watts a year before she like had her breakout role in Mulholland Drive so And this movie really I was like I didn't know that she was such a bad actor. Oh Yeah, she's horrendous and maybe she just has Gone from film to film and like nobody's double-checked and said is she wait a minute. She bad, but she's she's not all in Drive

He decided to make it that way. Yeah, I think so Let's put all the scenes out of order No one will notice and it's a movie about normally when you badmouth someone you say Sorry No, no when it comes to a movie yeah, I could never make a movie I could if you get a movie finished I could never do that. I'm never I movie. Yeah. I could never make a movie. I could, if you get a movie finished, I could never do that. I could never make a movie.

I've never acted. I'm terrible. Exactly. I'm terrible. I'm a bad person in general. And yeah, this movie, so it was, everything about it was bizarre. It was a remake. The director remade his own movie. It was in, moving the Netherlands, and apparently it's considered a classic.

And he made that in 1986. And then somehow got this all the way through Hollywood and then remade his own movie in 2000. Okay. And in the Netherlands, it's called Der Schaft. I think it is, I think it's something like that. But the movie is about a haunted elevator. So this is that sets the scene.

It's in a make believe building in New York called the Millennium Building. And the movie, the building exists in the movie. It's not a make believe building. No, yeah, yeah, it's just an elevator. Like, how is this doing it? And it's the elevator's haunted. There's no rules to what the elevator can do.

Sometimes it can crush a person. Sometimes it can suck a person in. The old crush and suck. And they're, oh man, there was a rollerblader scene that was out of this world. There are these cool guys rollerblading around. Then the elevator sucks one of them in and shoots them out the top of the Millennium building. and he lands next to his friend and explodes and blunts.

So, like, you don't have to get in the elevator. You could just rent. You're walking, minding your own business, enjoying the fall leaves. You have to be in the building. Yeah. And they were in the parkade of the building. You don't get sucked in from 28th Street. No. No. But yeah, is it spooky? Is the building itself spooky?

Are people like, don't go in the building. The building isn't spooky, but the elevator is spooky. You couldn't have done this when Brittany Leising was here? That's why I've got to send her a text to be like, this has got to be number one film for you to show you this in elevator repair school. Because there, I feel like there is always a movie for one thing.

There's always one like a whiplash for roller skaters. Or what was that called? Was that called whiplash? Yes, the roller derby one. Yeah. Or was it called whip? It might have been called that. Was whiplash theiplash? Yes, the roller derby one. Yeah. Or was it called Whip? It might have been called that. Was Whiplash the drummer one? That was the drummer one, yeah.

Hmm. Maybe they both were. A lot of movies like there's. Let's get some official. Let's look it up. Whip, the, uh. Whip? Whip mo, Whiplash movie.

Whip movie. No, I didn't. I forgot. Yeah. All right, let's turn on the wifi here. Whiplash movie. Whip movie. No one did that. No one did that. All right, let's turn on the wifi here. Now just wait. Little dinosaur guy. Little chrome dinosaur.

Whiplash movie is the drummer one. Yeah. Okay, so what's the roller derby one? I wanna call it Whip. And it was directed by Drew Barrymore, right? Whip it. Whip it. Okay. Also, what's the one about the dogs then?

Very well done. Thank you. I don't get it. A Whip it dog. Oh. Whip it. Oh. The problem is it was too good.

Oh, you don't often stump Dave. The problem is that wasn't a. You don't often stump Dave. The problem is, that wasn't a movie. That was the joke part. Oh boy. Anyways, this movie, like I say, the elevator, it's got its own rules. Sometimes the bottom falls out of the elevator. There's a scene where there's a bunch-

Is it ever filled with blood? Like in The Shining? No, it never filled with blood. And there was a scene where there's a bunch. Never filled with blood? Like in The Shining? No, it never filled with blood. And there was one scene where it was filled with pregnant women and all of them gave birth. No, no. Were they transport like- They were in the elevator, the elevator was off.

But they were real people, they weren't like conjuring. Why are people getting into this elevator or going to this building? Well, that's the thing is there's a big news story and that's where we meet, what's her name again? Naomi Watts. Naomi Watts, she's the reporter. She starts doing some digging, she finds out that a security guard got decapitated and

that never was reported to the press. And it's complicated. It's a complicated film. There's like I say, there's no structure to what this is. And then they kind of float several different options of why this thing is haunted. One of which is, you know, built on a native Indian barrel ground. That it's some sort of mutant thing that somebody's created, or it's the

lightning that hit the building like the week before and that somehow made the elevators go crazy. And then Michael J. Fox pops in. I'm the expert at doing that. The times are just right. I produced this podcast called Let's Make a Horror. I produced this podcast called Let's Make a Horror. I produced this movie. I produced this movie.

I never told you. I'm not sure. Yeah, by the way, I'm Dutch. I produced this podcast called Let's Make a Horror and the hosts talked to a bunch of horror makers and one of the things they said, like if you need an idea for a horror movie, think of something you can ruin. Like Psycho ruined taking a shower. Yeah.

Jaws ruined going to the beach. The Final Destination movies ruined like tanning beds. Yeah. Whatever. Roller coasters and such. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like this movie. This might be the elevator movie.

I don't think it ruined it. Like you're not gonna be like, oh God, an elevator. I can't do it. If it opens, it starts sucking me in. So I'm just wondering like, are these pregnant women? All at nine months. Are they victims or is someone else the victim and they're like, oh no, I got sucked into this elevator

full of pregnant women. No, they're coming down from a yoga class. Sure. That's in the millennium building. There's also- Prenatal yoga, I think, let's be accurate. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then, yeah, something happens and the elevator gets really hot. And then when they open the elevator, there's a bunch of babies that have been born. Well, that's adorable. That's a happy news story. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, huh, that was before Naomi got it.

Are they all out of their yoga pants? Like, are they pants-less? They must be. Yeah, they're all pants-less. Would you put your pants, like, are they lying? I need to now look this, I'm gonna do this Abby style and fast forward to all my favorite parts.

Okay, I'm gonna say, oh, this came out in 2000, you said? It came out, or it was made in 2001. Okay, you Google Naomi Watts fall and it says Naomi Watts trips over Emma Stone's dress at the SAG's. So this movie, they, like I say, they floated three things. And then during the course of the movie, for no reason whatsoever. The Twin Towers are still standing. This is made in the

early part released, no made in the early part of 2001, late part of 2000. And they have so many 2001, late part of 2000. And they have so many accidental references to the Twin Tower attack. Oh, really? Yeah. Because the number one thing that all the officials think is this is a terrorist attack on these elevators. And at one point, they talk about something crashing into or trying to blow up the Twin Towers. Sure. And then for God knows what reason, they actually mentioned

Osama bin Laden. Pete Slauson Weird. Peteus Yeah, it was so weird. And so, it came out like – Jada It was an inside joke. Pete Slauson Yeah. Peteus Yeah. But this had to be delayed because of 9-11. So, this movie – Pete Slauson It had to be delayed 20 years for you to see it.

Peteus It didn't come out till 2003 because, and yeah, it's- Osama Bin Laden's family was like, hey, you can't do that to my boy. Yeah, and also that was the freedom he hated. That you had the freedom to make this alligator movie. They did take away our freedom. Yeah, they hate it. They hate our freedom.

They hate our freedom. But yeah, it was very weird that it was all these mentions 9-11 before 9-11 happened. But there was another- Well, there was another World Trade attack before that. But did everybody know who Osama Bin Laden was in 2000? I never heard of him before. Well, I remember when 9-11 happened, there was, I went to the FBI website

and there's a list of the 10 most wanted people and he was already on there. Oh, he was already on there, okay. Like he had been on the list for a while, but I don't know if the FBI- Was Bugsy Malone on there? Bugsy Malone was there. Billy the Kid was there.

The only other person I recognized was the guy Warren Jeffs. Oh yeah. The like cult guy. Oh yeah, right. Polygamist. Yeah, yeah. What's, what happened to him?

Is he dead? Or Jeff's? I think he went to prison. I think he's still in prison. Okay. The thing about the FBI 10 most wanted is it reloads. It's like the billboard hot 100. Yeah, that's true.

What have you done for me this week? Okay. Who are the 10 most wanted fugitives at the moment? Okay. We're looking at a guy that looks- Oh, there's a woman on there. You know who's not on there? Oh, sure. A bear. Yeah. Oh looks- Oh, there's a woman on there. You know, who's not on there?

A bear. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, well, this guy's name is Vitel Om Innisland. Well, you gotta get him, let him go. His name means innocent man. Yeah. Yeah, and they would say in the courtroom,

he is literally innocent, your honor. It works for John Goodman, he's a good man. He's a good man. He's a good man? Yeah. How do you find this man innocent? You got it. Yeah.

Motivate, make him change his name. It's like an Avid and Costello routine. You know, criminals have a lot of interesting names nowadays. Do you guys ever see the video of the guy that's in holding? He's in holding out of prison and the door is open behind him so he just walks backwards out the door and then just runs down the hallway out the front door to free him. But it's just because somebody forgot to close the door. That's like number one rule of prison.

If they put a bell on that door. Yes. Naomi Watts. I'm joking. That's so funny. I don't know if I've seen her in much. She was in King Kong. Yeah, I didn't see that.

It was Beauty that Killed the Beast. I saw her in- Spoiler. I saw her in that movie. The Tsunami one? I didn't see that. I saw her in the one you were tsunami one? I didn't see that. I saw her in the one you were talking about before, the David Lynch one. Yeah, on the drive.

I saw her in The Ring. Oh yeah. That was, I call that her breakthrough. Oh. And I saw her in Funny Games. Oh yeah. She done any comedy? She might be a movie 43.

Yeah, have you ever heard of that one? No. It was like some, was it the just Slap Chop guy or something like that? Slap Chop guy is in it maybe. Oh no. But it was, it's just a bunch of sketches with famous people before they were famous.

Oh, well, they're not. Yeah, I guess the guy from the bear is in it. So yeah, that's before he was famous. Yeah. Anyway, so check it out. I'm sure it's streaming. There's no way it's streaming anywhere. It's going to be one of these movies that's lost the time, unfortunately.

Anyway, I can't tell if she's a good actress or not. I'm not good at judging that. Well, neither am I, but this was really bad. There was like, oh man, the lack of chemistry between her and the lead. You would think she's the lead of the movie by all the pictures and posters and all that stuff. I think it might be because she's very pretty.

Yeah, that's true. We've got a pretty lady in the movie. That really covers up a lot of, I think in whatever field you work in, there's someone who's really hot that is not actually good at their job. I like picturing like the hottest person, sewage system. Yeah, this podcast is just one star reviews. We must be really hot. Yeah, we're super hot.

That's true. These two ride on their looks. The other thing I know Naomi Watts from is there's this like 90 second, maybe even less, 60 second video, Elmo video on YouTube where Elmo sings a song about brushing your teeth and you're supposed to brush your teeth for the length of the song. And it's got Elmo, it's got a bunch of like people from Sesame Street, and then it's got Naomi Watts and Lee of like people from Sesame Street. And then it's got Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber brushing their teeth. They were married.

Are they still? Okay. Are they still? No, I don't think so. Hmm. Well, I wish them both the best, Liev and Naomi. Yeah. And you know what?

Stay at elevators, everybody. Ruin elevators for me. Because am I gonna give birth on one of these elevators, everybody. So ruin elevators for me. Cause am I gonna give birth on one of these elevators? Nobody knows the rule. How many floors does it have to be before you would get into an elevator? Let's say you don't love elevators.

So floor one, floor two, floor three, you're probably gonna go ahead and take the stairs. And then, hmm. What am I, am I going to a business meeting? Like how much am I allowed to sweat on this journey? You have 10 minutes to make it up there without really overdoing it. Okay.

So like 10 minutes at a medium pace, I'm going up to the seventh floor Okay. Yeah, I would do that if I was terrified of elevators. Yeah. Yeah, I used to work in a law office that was floors 29 30 31 and 32 and I would deliver faxes to the lawyers and I had like a route I would do and I would Take the elevator up to 32 and go down to 29. Yeah. Multiple times a day and then unless I had a cart then I took the elevator.

Was it because in the movie it portrayed going up a business building that the elevator is packed. It's absolutely packed with people because I've never worked in a tower so is that what it's like? Is it like when you get there it's just packed in people. Because I've never worked in a tower, so is that what it's like? Is it like when you get there, it's just packed in? Sometimes. Yeah. And then... You pinch someone's bum. Yeah, and then you fart and no one knows who it was.

And then they... Well, you know, because you get so giggly. They brought in, during the years I worked there, the building added TV screens that would be generic, here's today's weather, but then also a one-minute story about a hero dog or whatever. Yes, yeah. Classic.

Yeah, there's, where is it? I was at a restaurant and they had Chive TV and it was just all people doing like stunts. And it was like just. Oh, Browns does that all the time. Yeah. Like it's crazy. Yeah, it's just like crazy.

Water ski. Yeah. And yeah. Did you keep calm or did you Chive on? I Chived on and I kept calm and I keep on. Is that what it was? I don't know. Keep calm and. Did Chive have like, on, is that what it was? I don't know. Keep calm and-

Did Chive have like, I don't know what it was. Was it a site that had like, did they have the busty babe of the day or something? Or something else? They gave newspapers from the 90s. The other, I was pumping gas at the Shell station and for the first time ever, I saw, like I've heard Americans talk about, like, you know, gas TV, gas station TV,

and this had it, but it was just telling me like, choose Shell. I was like, I already did. But it is a good reminder for the next time that I have to fill out, I will use Shell. I can't use my cell phone, but you're sparking up this television in front of me. I think you can use your cell phone now.

I've started. In the last year, I've really... You're fine with it. I'm fine. Yeah, and I smoke again. Yeah. That's right. Dave did have smoking.

I smoke, I barbecue. Yeah, anyways, this movie's on Shutter. I play on my scallop. Is that Elaine? Um, do you guys want to move on to some over-hears? Yeah. We're not professional chefs or fantasy sports bros. Just three comedians who love cooking shows and winning. We'll cover Top Chef, Master Chef, Great British Bake Off, whatever's in season, really.

Ooh, you know chefs love cooking whatever's in season. We draft a team of chefs at the top of every series. And every week we recap the episode and assign points based on how our chefs did. And at the end of the season, we crown a winner. You can even play along at home if you want. Or you can just listen to us like a regular podcast about cooking shows.

That's cool too. Subscribe to TV Chef Fantasy League on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Hallelujah, hello, welcome everyone. Step right up, we're going to heal you. We are the healers Ross and Kerry. Yes, yes, you there, you look like you're upset. Come up here.

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It is to listen to Oh No Ross and Carrie. A show where we examine unusual claims. We show up so you don't have to. Find us on MaximumFun.org. We won't actually heal you. Overheard! Overheard! Oh, Graham, shut up. Oh, no.

I just remembered another Rube Goldberg machine. Oh, yes. I haven't seen the movie, but does Mouse Hunt have one? Because the board game Mouse Trap has one. Yeah, that's true. Oh, I remember the Mouse Game. Yeah, that was fun. Mouse Trap.

Yeah, not fun to set it up, though. No. Not even fun to play. Because that's all there was, right? Or there was a board that decided to... There's a board underneath there, yeah. strap. Yeah, not fun to set it up though. No, just not even fun to play. Because that's all it was right? Or there was a board that decided to go underneath there. Yeah. There was also one that was about a volcano. You remember that? It was a board game but it had like a volcano that lit up and steam out of it and stuff. We have a game that's like a it's called the floor is lava and it is oh yeah that's just a

bunch of colored like stones you put on the ground and then once you step on them you have to pick them up and then it's like musical chairs but with these sort of like little things to step on feels like someone just monetized a very easy yeah you would play at the beach exactly I. And with Twister, we've been doing Twister ourselves for years and then along come the Parker brothers. Have we? Yeah, yeah. Without the board game, did you ever?

Cause there's just a- With your- Well, and sure, and in my backyard, I'm always climbing ladders and sliding down snakes. If you ever played someone called it always climbing ladders and sliding down snakes. If you ever played it, someone called it Shoots and Ladders? Yeah. I just listened to a whole podcast about, in America it's called Shoots and Ladders,

but everywhere else in the world it's Snakes and Ladders. Weird. And the history of it. Yeah. The episode was on Shoots and Ladders. It was very interesting. What was this podcast? Let's promote another podcast.

It's Flightless Bird. Flightless Bird. Under the Armchair Expert Umbrella. Okay. By David Ferrier. All right. Well, now we're up to date. All right, cool, well, check out Ferrier, man.

Now, back to regular business. We're talking about overheards. If you overhear them, let's talk about it. Let's do it. Yeah. And we like to start with the guest, Erica. You know how this all goes. I sure do. You have an overheard.

I do have an overheard. It's a little cutie. It's a little cutie. So a couple of weeks ago, I was at Jay's sisters. We were having a family meeting about me. No. They were sort of intervening. They were, it was actually,

they want me to start drinking again. They're like, you are a real buzzkill with this. Also, what happened to my drinking buddy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where'd she go? So much easier to attack you when you're drunk. Now you've got all these defenses. Yeah.

So the playoffs had started and Vancouver was in the first round and Jay's little, they're like his cousin's sons, but I just say nephews for, they're little, they're like nine and six. And they had competing teams. So the younger brother is an Oilers fan and the older brother is a Canucks fan because of course you can't be fans of the same team. So I started just telling them all about Wayne Gretzky and telling Henry all about this, all the like little factoids about Wayne Gretzky. And he was very interested in it.

And then a little later on, I heard him telling somebody else, but he was calling him Wayne Jetsky. And I don't think it needs to be corrected. Yeah, no, no, no, never correct. It's one of these lever lever things. The famous Wayne Jetsky. Yeah, there's a...

I love that you're telling him, like it sounded like, let me tell you the legend of Paul Bunyan. They say there was a man with a beautiful coif, the best of the land. The Lady Diana haircut. What factoids did you have, Handy, or did you Google? Oh, I just went through the history of how he got traded and I really tore Janet apart for her role in that.

You know, the whole Paul Coffee, Glenn Anders, the whole, just the early, what he needs to know if he's gonna be a true Oilers fan. And then he said, who do you think will replace Connor McDavid when he retires? And I was like, he's pretty young. But like when you're a kid, everybody.

He's maybe the greatest player to ever have played, so I probably know one. Dave, do you have a number? Yeah, so I mentioned last time that we went to a Vancouver Canadians baseball game recently. And so this is an overheard, the Canadians were playing against the Tri-City Dust Devils. Dirt Devils? No, Dirt Devils, that's a vacuum.

The Tri-City Dysons. And there was a player on their team named Caleb Ketchup. Oh, nice, nice. The spell, like the condiment. Oh really? Yeah. Wow. K-E-T-C-H-U-P.

Love it. And my kids were losing it. Like this guy's name is Caleb Ketchup? That's crazy. And then, so he's at bat and then he, you know, grounds out. The announcer announces the next player up to bat and Margot goes, what, this guy's name is Sandwiches? And his last name was Sanchez.

Does everybody in baseball have a crazy name? Like Avanos Seltzer? Will have a crazy name? Like evidence to sell this in? Well, we were coming up with all of them. Caleb Ketchup. Michael Mustard. Oh, sure. Yeah. I guess the double barrel name. Caleb Ketchup could be a character in Clue as well.

Yeah. Or, you know, a kid's book, the many adventures of Caleb Ketchup. Yeah, the ruining of the white t-shirt by Caleb Ketchum. I love it. Check him out. I hope he makes the majors. Yeah. Or sandwiches.

Yeah, or does Heinz strike a deal with them for a little Yeah. Little promo. Someone whose last name was Fries. Fries. Ooh. Sure, there must be. There must be. I feel like there's maybe a soccer player named Fries. Oh. Sure, there must be. There must be.

I feel like there's maybe a soccer player named Fries. Isn't like one of the wiener company, like F-R-E-Y-E-S? Fries? Yeah. Fries? Fries. No, nevermind. Never a guy named Fries.

What about grilled cheese sandwich? Tomato soup? Yeah. This grilled cheese sandwich? Tomato soup? This is my wife, tomato soup? You could take Caleb Ketchup to Hamburg, Germany, and then I'm sure there's some people who really enjoy that. He sounds like a McDonald's character. Caleb Ketchup. Caleb Ketchup.

Yeah, the hamburger-luring Caleb Ketchup. He sounds like a first draft of McDonald's character. There he is and Caleb Ketchup. He sounds like a first draft of McDonald's character. There he is, Caleb Ketchup. There he is, in the flesh. Love it. Graham, do you have an overheard? My overheard is not as good as Caleb Ketchup, I will grant you that, but.

Uh-oh. I just thought when they post the stats about him, his weight is in tablespoons. Or milliliters. Sorry, that was... I don't know, that was more interrupting. He's making his fattened... He's just not performing this year.

Well, have you tried shaking him upside down? Okay, we did it. We do it all. This is just an overseen. And it was, what do you call it? I guess an SUV. Range Rover, that's the famous expensive brand. And this one was called the Range Rover.

On the back it had the tire, which I think is a fake thing now. Oh, sure. And on the tire, it would say the name of the car, right? This one was called the Defender, and I couldn't stop laughing. Oh yeah.

That's it. Range Rover the Defender. I think it's a Land Rover Defender actually. A Land Rover. A very famous car, Graham. I couldn't stop laughing. You were screaming in the bottom of the barrel and this thing was called a Toyota Corolla. But the Defender's like pretty grandiose for a SUV.

Kids would have their soccer equipment in and stuff like that. Like these, because they're mostly just driven by suburban families. Well, that's who was driving this one. Yeah, yeah. There's a- The Defender. Someone was driving after kids at my kid's school,

which is a public school in a Rolls-Royce. Oh, Jesus. And I, there's a Rolls-Royce SUV, and I was like, Rolls-Royce has a SUV now? And I Googled it. Guess how much it costs? $217,000. $320,000.

$500,000. Wow. Geez. Fuck, I would like that. I would like. I would like to live in that. Yeah, I would like to live in that. I would like some of that.

You know, if you've got $500,000 to throw around. But doesn't that just seem like a bad use? Like, any time I see somebody in, like, a Lamborghini, I don't think, like, whoa, I'm like, you must be terrible with money. Yeah, or you need to, like, get your money into assets right now because it's something... Someone's going to take them out of your bank account.

Yeah. No, we also have overheards from people all over the world if you want to send one in you can send it into Sby at maximum fun org and also as I said on the last podcast keep them overheard It's coming via email because we got episodes that episode where you asked for them has not come out yet. Oh, okay Well, you know, I believe it comes out very soon before the next episode. Okay okay. But you know in general just keep sending them in. We love we love we love you. Keep them up with the called ones you guys are doing great. You're doing great. This first one comes from Finn in London UK. I work in a cafe and one of our regulars is a teacher. This morning he came in with his two colleagues, all men in their 40s.

The regular said he'd get his colleagues order. They'd just have to call him daddy. And the other guys turned red and descended into a giggle fit. As the regular handed them their pastries, both of them had said, Thank you daddy. And they walked away giggling. That's giggling. That's really fun.

Yeah. Also, I'll buy you a pastry if you call me daddy. Deal. They really, according to the email, really hit daddy. Yeah. The good thing about these emailed ones in it, sometimes people will tell Graham to do an accent. Yeah. Nobody instructed me to do an accent. But they told you to hit the daddy. accent. Yeah, that's true. Nobody instructed me to do an accent, but- But they told you to hit the daddy.

Daddy, yeah, that's right. Daddy. Here's one that'll strike close to home. This is from Quill in Raleigh, North Carolina, right? Raleigh. You know, it's one of these things. It's either Raleigh or Riley. This is strictly un- overheard since it was said

about me and my general vicinity, but my wife and I were hanging out with our friends and I cracked wise at her music taste to which she hollered from across the room, hey, at least I don't listen to two goofy Canadian men talking for two hours every week. That could be us. Yeah, it could be anyone.

It could be spitting chiclets. I think one of them is American. It could be us. Yeah, could be anyone. Could be Spitting Chicklets. I think one of them is American. Could be Canada Land. Yeah, it could be the Rick Moranis cast. Does he have a cast? I mean he would put us out of business. Yeah, oh my god Rick Moranis is so good. He's so good. He got punched in the face recently walking down and so did Steve Buscemi. Yeah, that's right. Who's going around punching our greatest character actors? I saw a thing about... Where was Caleb Ketchup when this happened?

That's what I want to know. I saw a thing about, there's a like, all the hottest actors now look like rats. Now look like rodents. What's it called? Like rodents. Yeah. What's it called? Hot rodent? Yeah. And it was like the guy from the bear.

It was the Barry Kiyogen. Oh, from the, what was that movie called? But the bear guy does, he just has a, he's got like a very Roman nose, which is, like he's not like, Timothy Chalamet is somebody else they said and then a couple who have what I would describe as maybe More like a quirky Steve Buscemi kind of face, right? but like There's a difference the bear guy. Have you seen him with his shirt off? Hello. I haven't I'm never I'm squeezing knees all over the place

I haven't. I'm squeezing knees all over the place. I like to squeeze his catcher. Kieran Culkin was one. Oh sure. But like, do you remember when, oh, and then other people were pointing out, what about Willem Dafoe? This has been going on for years.

And Steve Buscemi. Do you remember when we did, was that like Ted Talk thing in Vancouver? Oh, it was like- Ted Talks Vancouver? No, it was some other- Yeah, it was some other thing. And we were like, we needed like a seven minute thing

we can do in front of a crowd. And we recast the Muppets as modern actors. Yeah. And we said Rizzo the Rat was Steve Buscemi and the audience gasped like, how dare you? Well, cause he's kind of rat faced. Oh, he's a human being. Well, no, he's like famously rat faced. We were's a human being. Well no, he's like famously rat-faced.

We were ahead of our time. I know. Yeah. This last one comes from Pat from Boston. I heard a friend's six-year-old son say this while playing tag with some other kids. Missed me, missed me, now you gotta fist me. Rules are rules, Teddy. Yeah, I just heard it wrong. You're weighing jet skis and whatnot. Yeah. Sanchez sandwiches, that kind of thing. There was for a while.

This is all a misheard overheard. Yeah. Sally's nephew was obsessed with the Titanic, but he called it the Titanic, which we would all giggle whenever he would say it. At one point, it was over a year's span, he got wise and said, well, what is it pronounced?

Is it Titanic or Titanic? We're all like, I guess it's Titanic. Our final thing is over. Then you played Celine Dion behind it. You're the king of the world. Oh my God, I've subscribed to this company, Julian's Auctions. They do like celebrity auctions. I've never bought anything, but they'll usually be like,

Ringo Starr is selling some of his vests. Today it was Austin Powers auction. Nice. They have a little cravat, something like that. I mean, I can't look at it all right now. OK, I understand. But in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls, if you want to call us,

our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, SpyPod one. And Graham, Sally's nephew, is your nephew now. Yeah, that's true, he's my nephew. He's great, little Leo, funny little guy. And you know, the Titanic aficionado at this point. Yeah. Read every single book about it.

As far as I'm concerned, he doesn't know the first thing, calls it Titanic. Fair, that's fair. But he knows now. Imagine giving a TED talk on the Titanic. And everyone's like, this guy thinks this is the Titanic. Well, let's just humor him if he thinks it's the Titanic. We'll just, he's just humorous throughout his entire life.

Hi, Dave, Graham, and ineffable guests. This is Jessalyn calling in with an overheard from Santa Cruz, California. I'm a teacher and I teach some pretty young children. And I have a student who recently has become obsessed with preparing for a trip to Australia that he plans to take in a few years. And part of that is him deciding that he needs to learn

how to speak Australian in order to travel to Australia. And me and a fellow teacher were saying, no, no, they speak English in Australia. They just have some words that they say differently and we're kind of naming a few. And I said, yeah, and instead of ketchup, they call it catsup. And his response was, what do they call mayonnaise? And I said, yeah, and instead of ketchup, they call it catsup. And his response was, what do they call mayonnaise? And I thought that was really funny. And I didn't respond. And about a minute or two later, out of nowhere, he says to us, mananase.

I think they call it mananase. No fricking way. I didn't realize we had two cats up ones. Yeah. That's a real ding ding ding. I did not know cats up was an Australian thing. I just thought it was like an old timey thing. Cats up, yeah.

Also ding ding ding is also from Armchair Expert. I'm just really promoting a different podcast now. Yeah. This is the place to promote the armchair expert gigantic podcast network. Yeah, they're struggling. If I was going to go to Australia in a few years, I'd prepare by getting a little bit bitten by spiders every day. Yeah, that's right. Build up your tolerance. Also, I would learn how to play the didgeridoo if at any point there happened to be a round and you'd be like, check this out.

Yeah, blow us a thing. You're the didgeridoo man. But do you think they would impress everybody, anybody like they'd just be like another dude with a beard playing the didgeridoo. Oh boy I kind of want to write a whole didgeridoo piano man version with all the characters. Now bruise at the bar, fights crocodile. We can get there. Sure. Maybe by... I got nothing to do this afternoon. Yeah.

Get Margo down here. Maybe by Weird Al's birthday. If he ever gets the Kennedy Center honors. He should. He should get the Mark Twain award. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he deserves it. Take it away from Tina Fey.

Yeah, there's only one and you must take it away from it. Okay. We'll use yours later. Hey Dave, Graham, and probable guests. This is Ryan in Denver, Colorado. I've recently taken up river surfing and everyone at the spot is always really cool. But every once in a while you meet a cook. I was there today and a lady and her friend show up.

He's there to serve. She is there to talk to me sitting on the side. She instantly introduces herself and tells me she is on a plethora of drugs. And then, you know, she keeps chatting. And at that moment she asks her male friend there with her, what's your phone password? She's holding his phone, she needs to play music or something. He says, yes, type this in, it's January 6th, 2021.

Oh my goodness. It's a long password. Yeah, I don't know if you type in January, is it 0106 2021? Yeah. Or 1 6 2021? Like my phone password is four numbers long. Mine is six. Mine used to be four and it won't let me do four anymore.

Yeah. Oh no, wait, mine's five. Mine's five. Five. Okay. Mine's usually my face, unless I have sunglasses on and then it's six letters. Oh, I've never done the face recognition thing.

I do the face thing. Yeah? And I like it first thing in the morning, it does not recognize, it's like, why don't you go pull yourself together? I refuse to recognize your face. You're in no position to be banking right now. Yeah.

Splash some cold water on your face. Do you bank first thing in the morning? Well, somebody texted me asking me to lend them money, so. That was a nice text to wake up to. Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up with that. I thought you'd be awake by then. Yeah, it was pretty, it was in the middle of the night, which was frightening. Dave's in trouble.

You were saying before the show, how many men's- Passwords I know. Yeah, and they all have 69 in them. It's just, just a lot of times, it's usually not an important password, but if it's one, they'll be like, oh, it's... I can't say that number right now. Yeah.

You can't say it right now. I can't say that number right now. Yeah. You can't say it right now. I can't say it. Sorry. All right. Final phone call. Hi, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Ryan calling from Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

It's Friday night, and I walked outside my house and saw my six- and eight-year-old neighbors, and I said, hey, guys, what are you guys doing here for Friday night? You doing anything fun? And they said, yeah, we're going to a funeral. And I said, oh no, I'm so sorry. And they said, oh, a fun funeral. And I said, a carnival?

And they said, yeah, a carnival. All right, have a good day, bye. Yay, we're going to the funeral. Yeah, Friday night funeral, that would be fun. The funeral starts at eight. Yeah. The ladies free up in Dilley. And William Jarest with his favorite song.

Do do do do do do do do do. I was just thinking after the previous phone call, a great merch shirt would be spy and then probable guest. Yeah. But then he said possible guest and I was like, meh, meh, meh. I think the first caller said ineffable guest. Well, that's not going to fly off the shelves. Sure.

It's true. All of our guests are pretty effable. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Everybody else is just as effable. Well, that brings us to the episode, episode ending, let's say. Ah, end of the episode. Well, let's get started, Erica.

What? This has been warm up. I think you've gotten most of the jitters out. We're not gonna talk about any of this Cineplex membership stuff. Yeah. Well, that hit down what we think really worked. Yeah, we got all that out of our system bits.

Yeah. Erica, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you for having me. At least a treat. It is always a treat. I do love spending time with the both of you. Thank you. You as well.

Thank you. And to all you out there, listeners, welcome to summer. It's going to kick ass. Let's all have a real good time. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop By Because of Yourself. Maximum Fund. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.