Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 851 - Ese Atawo
Episode Date: July 9, 2024Comedian Ese Atawo returns to talk themed hotels, border guards, and garage sales....
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Hi, he's Dave Schumke.
And he's Graham Clark.
And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody and welcome to episode 851 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who will keep it secret that I have
recorded the intro wrong twice.
Mr. Dave Schumacher.
Yeah, well I gave you the wrong number.
I said it was in my brain already.
Yeah, I said it was episode 351 because what does it mean?
Nothing.
What does it mean?
Yeah.
It's just a number, man. Yeah, whenever somebody uses that,
age is just a number, it isn't though.
Yeah, it is.
It's a whole lot of other things.
You're either defending doing something bad,
or you're defending yourself and your old.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And our guest today, very funny person,
a return guest here on the podcast.
We're oh so lucky to have her.
Please welcome Essayah Tawoh.
Hello.
Hello everyone.
Wow.
I sound so good.
Yeah, you do.
Definitely.
Thank you.
We didn't also just stop the show in the middle.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, we're having a difficulty with the launch today.
Kind of like Sully with that airplane.
It was a tough
Did it? Oh, yeah, I think it was when they took off in the yeah
I don't know if I would think he got off the ground just fine. Yeah, it's those damn geese
But it was um, I was thinking failure to launch. Oh, yeah, which is a movie with Matthew McConaughey and
Sergisberger
Is it serious? Yeah, sir. What's the one with Kate Hudson in him? Ooh, she had the yellow dress.
I had to lose her for 10 days.
She had the yellow dress.
What, she had a yellow dress?
Yeah, she dreams that she'd be Ben's partner.
She'd be Ben's partner and...
Oh, I don't think I've seen this movie.
Watch it, it's cute.
Is it? Yes.
He's an advertising guy and she's got to write an article.
Yeah! Is it? Yes. Okay. He's an advertising guy and she's got to write an article HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Yeah. Get to know us.
Do you like, are you a fan of the romantic comedy Vane or is that just that movie in
particular?
I was.
I mean, I'm a girl with eyes and Matthew is cute.
So we do watch for the cute.
Yeah.
And it was, it was that.
It was just that description.
Just that was that movie.
Yeah, totally.
But it was fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's failure to launch?
Is that he lives at home?
He lives at home, yeah.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Now, Matthew McConaughey is a guy that if you have him in the movie,
you do have to have him with his shirt off.
100%.
At least one time.
Then it's in the contract.
Yeah.
OK.
Because we were talking about how eye drawing a really fit guy is. Yeah. Okay. Cause you know, we were talking about like how I drawing a really fit guy.
Yeah.
And like Jake Gyllenhaal in the remake of Roadhouse.
Woo wee.
Is he cut?
He's cut.
Wow.
Graham has not stopped talking about it.
I won't stop talking about it.
Wow.
I'm hot for teacher.
Okay, why not?
Now, Essay, boy,
you're one of the few guests who have transitioned from the Zoom era to-
I know, this is an honor.
In-person era.
Thank you.
Yeah.
What?
But I have such a hard time remembering the Zoom era.
Me too.
Where I'm like, oh yeah, was that the guest that did this?
Did you?
Yes.
Am I remembering this right? I think this is the same thing I remember.
This is me.
And your summer job as a child was
going undercover to stores and buying cigarettes?
Yes, that's me.
Yeah, that was the exact thing.
I was like, I hope I remember.
Yeah.
Do you still do that?
No.
I should.
That would be a cool summer job.
Yeah.
That would be a cool summer job.
When you were younger, what did you think was the summer job?
No job.
No job.
Just having a fun summer.
Just having a fun summer.
And I never had that.
But yeah. I feel like the iconic summer jobs are like lifeguard.
Yes.
Couldn't swim though.
Ice cream sailor, seller.
Salesman.
Salesman.
You couldn't swim?
No, not at the time.
But now you can?
Now I can, yeah.
Just because you can swim doesn't mean you can lifeguard.
I mean, I can swim.
I couldn't lifeguard.
That is true.
I think I used to be a pretty strong swimmer,
but it goes away, it's not like riding a bicycle.
I mean, I'm just learning how to swim
because I almost drowned when I was younger, but so.
Oh shit.
Yeah, it was a thing.
Anyways, I remember that.
It was a thing, but what shocks me
is that I see people in like open water for hours.
Yeah, and I'm like how but like yeah, I'm kind of cold. I'm like the beach or at the lake
I'm like you've been there for like an hour with other feet touching the ground. Yeah, like deep in yeah
I can't do five minutes
No, and it's one of those things they do in movies where it's like as long as they land in the water
then they can swim to shore. I'm like, I don't think I could.
I go and swim laps sometimes, but I can't do the thing where you like
turn underwater. Yeah. I get to the end and I'm like, well time to take another break.
Get out my cigarettes.
I just thought you'd just like turn around wordly and then kick off again.
I usually do that, but then if I'm in the shallow end, it's like, well, you know what?
I didn't properly stretch before this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This should take a moment.
I love pull stretching.
Yeah.
So good.
Are you currently taking swimming lessons or are you just learning by exposure?
No. So I took a whole set. I did the whole like 10 weeks at the Vancouver Aquatic Center. Nice. Early mornings.
Really? Private swimming lessons.
Me and Sasha and yeah, it was dope. Yeah private session. That's where it's at, right? It's always there. Yeah.
Like learning it as a kid,
I feel like you would be swimming too close to other kids
and you'd get kicked in the face and that kind of thing.
What were you, cause the big thing
when my kids were learning to swim was like,
if you can get their kids to get their heads underwater,
you're set.
Yeah.
Is it harder as an adult, is it just easy?
Cause you can put your,
cause you're like used to like washing your face.
I mean, I don't I never I think I enjoyed swimming.
I think it was just because I had that close death experience.
I was just like no more pool or no more water.
Were you a little kid when this happened?
I was little.
Okay.
I was little.
It didn't register in your brain?
No, it did.
It's just like I'm like I was a cocky child I was a child and my younger brother was just I took so
I didn't learn to swim right getting to learn. Hmm, right. I was good at everything
I was progressing but our parents stopped and then we went to a pool
My younger brother is so chill until this day is just like and I was like, oh, there's a pool
She goes swimming my brother goes you can't swim. I'm like, yeah, I can.
You can't swim.
Yeah, I can.
Yeah, I think a lot of people think they can.
I know.
My kids are, I take them swimming,
I took them once a week for years.
They don't wanna go so often anymore,
but they hated lessons.
They were like, can we just go swimming? And so I don't think go so often anymore, but they hated lessons.
They were like, can we just go swimming?
And so I don't think they can swim.
Like they can get from one end to the other,
but it was like, you don't know it.
You can get there just because you can propel yourself.
You don't know any of the strokes.
You don't know Julian Casablanca.
You don't know Albert Hammond Jr.
You don't know Fabrizio Verretti.
You don't know Nick Valencia.
You don't know Nicolai Fritur don't know Fabrizio Verretti. You don't know Nick Valencia. You don't know Nikolai Furchur.
Do you remember like way way back I had I was wearing a Strokes t-shirt
Yes, Kevin Quinlan said are you wearing that ironically?
I was like what the fuck man cuz the second album had come out and they weren't so hot anymore
Yeah, and that's why I got the shirt for the suit of chief, you know, yeah
Yeah, I
Do you are you a beach person I do are you a beach person
I'm not a beach person I am yeah I just love the smell of the ocean okay
mm-hmm you do you read you send down what are you doing right um there's people with me
I nap yeah there's always someone at the beach working on a screenplay
always someone writing yeah there's a and a, and lots of, like,
a lot of people reading.
I feel like that actually more and more,
but I don't know what to do at the beach.
Once I'm there, because the water's too cold.
I'm not going in the water.
Yeah.
And a lot of the beaches here are kind of rocky.
Oh, I know.
Beautiful sandy beaches.
There's like a layer of rock
between the sand and the ocean.
Yeah.
And that's
Hard to find parking. Look, there's also so many things I don't like about the beach, but
What's your what's your big plan for this summer? What are you gonna be doing?
I feel I don't know but I think my summers been kicking off quite busy
So I have all these weird random things that are popping up and they just popping up. Yeah
So I think I'm gonna have a wild crazy summer yeah what does that mean I mean like have you had a wild crazy summer before never okay never and
I think also just the way I mean we you've been trying to reach me for a
while now yeah and we just I'm just like something I don't know something's just
this I'm a munch I wouldn't know, something's just this momentum.
I wouldn't take no for an answer.
I'm like, I have a dog with a bone.
I'm just going to keep pursuing this.
No, and I'm here.
Yeah, it worked.
Persistence.
Yeah, and like, I want to know what's wild and crazy about your summer.
Oh.
You're going to go tubing?
I feel like that's pretty wild and crazy.
I am going to, where am I going?
Alberta. Yeah. West Edmonton Mall next weekend now really yes, I'm staying in the themed rooms
Hotel fancy land ah shit. I know have you been before never ever oh boy
Yeah, excited have you been to Edmonton at all I have for ganzah right in propaganda. Oh wow is that happening now?
It's happening at that week. Oh wow
Yeah, how they booked it for like I've the Stanley Cup Stanley Cup final might still be on them. Yeah
Yeah, we're taping a few weeks
Yeah, congratulations oilers
I don't like them. Oh, no way, you know people can like them
You know, I just don't like them.
I have to be very diplomatic, like, you know,
this is me being nice.
Oh, I just don't like them.
I sure hope they lose.
Is it like, you don't like the coach kind of thing?
No, no, no, no, no.
There's no logic to it.
It's like, when they win, I get unhappy,
and when they lose, I get happy. When they lose, I get happy.
Yeah, I have the same thing,
but it's based very much in growing up in Alberta.
I was Calgary and Edmonton was just the natural enemy,
even though the cities are basically the exact same city.
Except one has a much better mall.
That's true.
Oh yeah.
Does the mall still have water slides?
I heard, but I will not be doing that
No water slides you could skate in there. I know they got a big ring and but they got rid of the
Decapitation rollercoaster
Have you ever heard of that rid of the world culture the roller coaster that decapitated?
Yeah, like years and years ago
Minister true to Antoinette actually.
Oh my god.
Was it, are we sure it was a decapitation?
Cause this is not fun to like.
No, that's true.
We don't make fun of the headland.
Imagine that, you can't, oh my lord.
I hope that person died quickly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hope it wasn't the eyes were like what though, okay?
It's not video surely no, and oh my lord, I would watch it too, of course no
We're not ghouls
Mmm, there's there's a bunch of news stories, but none of them is saying the word I'm looking for.
The mind bender was the...
Literally.
Thing.
Okay.
We can't stop joking about it.
We should move on.
Well, I said it was recent.
No, no, it was like in the 80s.
Okay.
Oh no.
And then the roller coaster kept going for then, you know,
25 more years my ears. Yeah
Yeah, three. Oh, no, it's the three three of the four people on the in that one car were thrown from the ride and died
There's no we apologize Danny and all
I apologize to any and all affected by the Edwin Stemming Mall tragedy. You know what theme room you're staying in?
This space room.
Yes!
It's the best!
Have you been?
Uh, when I was a kid.
Oh my lord.
Space room is what we wanted.
Oh no, Graham, it's not for kids.
What?
What are you talking about?
The Fantasyland hotel that has a bunch of themed rooms.
What David?
Oh, so it's like hedonism?
No, I'm just-
No, I'm making fun of you because you were like- no, but just when I was a kid.
So not at a like-
I've been as an adult.
Yeah, but what are the themed rooms?
There's like a-
I think we were in like an Egyptian?
Yeah, I feel like there's an ancient Roman.
They have an African room. Like like do I stay in that one?
But I'm like been there, Jendak, you know?
Could a room I've never been to.
Yeah, space.
Space, yeah.
Have you seen pictures?
I have, and I hope it lives up to every inch.
Is it like, I'm assuming the ceiling is black
with stars dotted on it.
No, but there's mirrored ceilings.
Okay, so maybe this isn't for kids.
There's a mirror ceiling.
There's a massive jacuzzi.
Yeah.
There's like a king-size bed.
What's space about it though?
Oh, everything is like space themed.
The space theme has like a wall of like,
a big wall of computers or screens.
Okay, so like, because the space could go like planet.
No, like space.
It's like astronauts.
Okay.
Spaceship.
Yeah, spaceship.
Yeah, spaceship room.
Um.
Yeah.
It's so cool.
The bed, like the bed is the moon.
And then the comforters
Is a big spaceman and the pillows are like a big helmet. Yeah, really? Yeah
Yeah, um, yeah the
Yeah, when I was a kid it was the thing it was the thing every everybody wanted to do
I've never I stayed in or lived actually in a motel
for a while, and its whole theme was that floor to ceiling
carpeted, like brown shag carpet.
On the ceiling?
On the ceiling, on the walls, on the floor.
Where was this?
This was in Pinscher Creek, Alberta,
and it felt like this would be like the Chewbacca room.
What was the, what were you doing there?
I was doing, working on a pipeline. Oh, okay.
Was it, um,
was this a small town Alberta? Yeah. Like late 90s, early 2000s? Yeah, late 90s. Smoking allowed?
Oh yeah, boy did I. I was smoking that too.
In the ceiling, like the ceiling.
And the ceiling carpet just absorbing.
And to top it all off, next door to the sauna.
Oh my god.
And you can smoke in the sauna.
Do y'all remember when Tim Hortons or not even, I'm from Ontario, coffee time had like
smoking pits in the coffee.
No.
In the, in the shop? In the coffee. No. In the coffee shop?
Yes, and it was disgusting.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
They had like closed smoking pits inside.
That you could just go and sit in.
But like closed.
Closed.
Like a glass.
A glass door, but then you open it,
and of course when you open it, it just comes out.
I mean, the wind comes in.
Patty's Pub downtown used to have that.
Oof. It was like you're in a smoking aquarium. Just comes out. I mean, the wind comes in. Patty's Pub downtown used to have that. Oh, yeah.
It was like you're in a smoking aquarium.
Yeah, the airports used to have it.
Yes.
A little glass box that you could do on.
And those, man, that was only the hardest core smokers
were, yeah, because you were smoking like 10 cigarettes
while you're sitting in there.
I do love what airports have.
I love that there's like, you get off a plane and you're like, what do I want to go?
Do I want to go to the like a place where my dog can pee on some fake grass? Do I want to go to a chapel?
Yeah, do I want to get one of those massages where everybody can see we're getting a massage?
I was where was I I forget it was a layover, but I went to their chapel and their chapel was
Magical that night. Oh, it was a regular chapel
But people were sleeping inside it.
Oh, sure. Smart.
And I saw a rabbi.
A priest.
Were they walking into a bar?
No, they were.
And they were all sleeping, like in peace and in harmony.
And I was just like. Oh, that's so nice.
It was beautiful.
I never thought about that. Then they'd been in the fight like cats and dogs
You got killed my god
Yeah, I saw like I don't know what airport it was that but these like sleeping pods
I just want that to be standard issue. Amen. Yeah, he's like
Have you ever been in one of the like airport lounges where you have to have a membership or whatever?
No, I think I'm ready to upgrade. They're so good better than you think it's gonna. Okay. Yeah, okay
Yeah, it's like the food is you know, good food. Yeah, I it everybody talking. Everyone's very quiet
Yeah, there was one when I went to when I flew through Toronto last year. There's one
Terminal that's just gotten awful. Oh, it's like there's nowhere to sit like the only places to sit are like
Tables would that have like an ordering kiosk on them. Oh, I got like an ordering iPad on them
And so there's like wait, where is it the Toronto? Oh Toronto's is the worst
Like there's parts of the Toronto Airport that are fine, but this was like brand new and it was it's just like hostile architecture. Yeah. And like when you go to you're not allowed to be here without spending $80. It's triggering. It's like always check your ticket like maybe I should go now.
I should go now. Now, are either of you somebody that stands in line
waiting for your zone to board?
I've fallen out of that.
I'm not doing that anymore.
I think I'm falling out of it too.
What do you mean?
Like you will line up before your zone's announced?
Yes. Oh no.
Yeah, oh but everybody's doing it.
I do it when it's a small flight.
Cause I go see my brother and like pull him in Washington.
No one's going to pull him in Washington.
Fair. And so I'm just like, they're're gonna call me in two seconds and I'm zone three
Yeah, I will I will like full button people who are standing. Oh, yeah, three if I'm zone two
Oh, yes, I do that all the time, but like these people line up. I don't care about their lineup
I'm not I'm not doing it. I don't it's same thing SkyTrain don't care. I don't care. I lined up
I don't know if it's like if I have some kind of status or if it's cuz I fly with my kids
But I'm always zone to no matter what
Oh, okay, or if I'm booking my flights like so far in advance that I get that but have you ever been in zone five?
Maybe good Lord. That's the that's the end of the list. Yeah
Everybody's on the plane watching you get on your luggage away. That's your fashion show. That's your runway.
You better work.
You better work!
I can't leave until I get on.
Take your time!
The thing is like, cause now they're always like...
I'm gonna start striding, sorry.
This flight is very full and you're probably like...
If you're zone four or five
You're like and they say we may not have room for your bags
You might want to check it and you look and you see your zone five. You're like, I'm I got it. I got it. Yeah
Yeah, there's sometimes you're seeing this scenario where somebody's like
Obviously they put something in that's small enough to go under the seat
Mm-hmm, they put it in there and then they get called on it like,
whose backpack is this?
And they're like, uh, mine.
Put this under your seat.
It's a great moment to have on the plane.
I love when the stewardess comes by and there's always someone got it.
Please, we like flight attendant now.
Sorry.
Flight attendant would come by and be like, reset your chair.
Reset your chair.
Oh, yeah. chair. Oh yeah.
As always sir,
can you please reset your chair?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, love it.
I like it too, cause I'm like,
I like it when someone starts reclining
before the plane takes off and I'm like,
you're gonna get it.
I know, I didn't get it.
And they always get it.
Putting your tray down right away.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, when there's the trays are out, I feel like I'm caught.
I can't go like if I'm sitting in the window, there's no getting out until like an hour
from then because of the cart and the getting through the...
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's always kind of a panicky moment.
Where do you have to go?
Bathroom?
Bathroom, up to the pilot, tell him what a good job he's doing.
Ask how many feet we are above the ground.
You got 33,000?
Oh, shit.
Say it with your Irish accent.
Yeah, so you're going to Edmonton,
your brother lives in Washington, state?
I think we knew that before.
Oh, in Washington.
Yeah, I think we learned that last time.
Still lives there.
Yep. What's there? Yeah, what's the caller? Yeah, I think we learned that last time. Mm-hmm, still lives there. Yep.
What's there?
Yeah, what's the collar?
Yeah, what's the great thing they can?
I believe he told me it's like a wheat.
Wheat is one of his primary industry.
Okay. Wheat?
Wheat.
Okay.
Which is cool, which is cool.
Graham's gluten-free now.
Okay.
And I hate it.
Graham's about to go to France
where there's nothing but wheat. Yeah, nothing but my one thing. And I hate it. Graham's about to go to France where there's nothing but wheat.
Yeah, nothing but my one thing.
All you can wean.
That's all you can wean.
I'm really, really, really hoping
that some people say they are celiac here,
but they go over there and.
Oh sure.
Is it a different type of flower?
I have heard that, but I've also heard that debunked.
Oh no.
Well, I mean, even if I have to eat in a baguette there,
I have to.
You have no choice.
Yeah, if I'm sick for the rest of the day, fine,
but I gotta.
You gotta do it.
It didn't used to make you sick, did it?
No, but it blows, now I have it,
it just like blows me up.
Take ginger before, try that.
Take ginger before?
Mm-hmm.
Or Mary Ann.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh.
Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. I just I think is maybe for me psychosomatic, but I just take ginger every time I start make is weird
Okay, it helps. All right. I'm a ginger ginger ale drinker. Yeah. Yeah, they got sued right for
Oh and for not having enough ginger. How dare they? Yeah, and somebody sued and want ginger ale
Was a Canada dry Canada Canada do better
My Was it Canada Dry? Canada Dry. Come on Canada, do better. That's true, yeah. Do better.
My friend came over the other day
and he brought homemade ginger beer.
Oh!
Was that?
Yeah.
It was good.
I didn't know you could make your own ginger beer.
And he was like, okay, stand back,
cause I have to open it.
It's gonna go everywhere.
And I rode my bike over here.
Ha ha ha!
Yeah, I know when I was younger friend's dad made his own root beer. Oh man. Yeah and it was it
didn't taste like how you think root beer tasted but it still tasted really
good. Mmm. Because there wasn't as much sugar in it as like. I like sugar. I don't like
root beer. Yeah. No? It's just I don't get it. Okay. I get it.
I mean I get that you don't get it. Yeah. Yeah, it's it's not universal. Very specific. What about
Dr. Pepper? I don't like that. Maybe, maybe there's other root beer. Too feisty. You know that Dr.
Pepper for the first time in both of their histories have beat Pepsi as the number two.
Really?
Because apparently there's Dr. Pepper things
where you can put, you can create extra different tastes
like through social media.
Through social media?
Yeah.
And it's blown up like it'll be like Dr. Pepper,
whatever, you know, banana.
Uh-huh.
Yeah. And then how do you drink it out of your phone?
Yeah, you drink it out of your phone.
I don't know, like, I guess like Dr. Pepper
has many different variants now.
Yeah, they're like, you know, they do like a strawberries
and cream and a vanilla and whatever.
But they always, and apparently their diet
is the best diet.
Oh, really?
Of all the pops.
All the diets.
What do you mean?
Like diet Coke tastes weird and diet Pepsi tastes diet,
but diet Dr. Pepper tastes the most like
original Dr. Pepper.
Okay.
Dr. Pepper growing up, that was the drink I would get
if I was sick.
That would be like the soda of twice.
That's psychosomatic.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a doctor on that.
Absolutely. I'm gonna get better right now yeah even
like now certainly as an adult drinking a whole can and when I was dirty I would
drink mr. clean and it worked I mean I was in the hospital. I threw up a lot, but I feel great now. Little Gubb spick and span.
I drink spick and span.
Yeah.
Did you have anything like that when you were like ill at home that you got?
I got animal crackers, I feel like.
Oh, yeah.
Well, my dad would make a Nigerian soup called pepper soup.
It's just the spiciest soup ever.
Okay. So every time you are sick
He would make that and it's just really it's so good
Yeah, cuz you can't it's to a point where you're at this point when you're sick that you can't breathe through any nostril
Yeah, and you can't really taste so like doesn't matter right and it just clears you up. Oh my god
Is your dad from Nigeria? Yes
is
was there any other like,
you know, Nigerian stuff that you grew up with that was like that?
You know, oh, you're sick. Have this soup or that kind of thing.
Yeah, that and then fertility.
If you want to get pregnant, eat a lot of okra.
Really? Yeah.
Or as you're pregnant, you know, that okra.
If you want to getra. Really? Yeah. Or as you're pregnant, eat a lot of okra. To get ready for it.
So if you want to get pregnant,
oh, okay.
Get that.
Get those lubes in.
Great.
But yeah, but yeah, pepper soup was just so good
when you were sick, but you had to be really sick.
Yeah, otherwise you wouldn't be able to get out.
And then you'd be like, if you're not sick, then you're killing yourself, this is just the hottest soup thing. Right, right, right. then you'd be like if it's if you're not sick Then you're killing yourself. This is just the hottest it right right right?
It's like oh god. This is too much people would do it now for a YouTube video. Yeah, I could get their hands on it
They would do it. Yeah, but I mean
What's gonna come after it's not gonna be fun. Yeah, I could record that and put it on YouTube
Well, there's a different part of you
That's for my only fans. That's fair.
What do you guys think when you see
a video of somebody falling off a ladder,
something really funny,
why does the person who is in that video post that video?
I've never understood.
Why were they filming?
Why were they filming and why did they tape it like, yeah, tape it and then put it
on YouTube?
I mean, people used to do it for America's Funniest Home Videos, but you could win some
cash.
Yeah, yeah, no funny, no money.
Yeah.
I assume that the person who, I mean, I'm assuming in good faith that people don't care
about people being watched every second of their fucking lives.
Yeah.
But I assume that their friend was recording them unbeknownst to them.
And then it happened. And then the then the friends like this is so funny. You have to gotta post it
Yeah, you have to you're right cuz it is always funnier than that and then like
Maybe a few weeks have gone by and they're like, I'm not mad anymore
I'm walking. I'm walking okay now, I'm fine. Yeah.
Or like someone posted a video,
it was one of the members of this couple
and it was them fighting.
Oh really?
And it was like, why?
I also just find that like,
if I'm on Instagram and I'm seeing videos of, you know, stuff I follow,
and then a couple of videos come up
of things I don't follow, I'm like,
why did I, why is this for me?
Why is, why was this, like it really like,
a switch flips in my head or I'm like,
this was not meant, I wasn't meant to see this
and I closed the app and then mindlessly opened it again
five seconds later.
It's wild. Yeah, the, my favorite open it again five seconds later. It's wild.
Yeah, my favorite genre of that type of video
is where somebody's falling very slowly,
where it's just kind of like slowly down a mud hill
or just like falling a couple steps at a time off a boat.
I've never seen any of that.
Really?
No.
Oh, it's the best.
Wow.
It's so funny because you get the laugh of them falling and then you get a couple more
laughs as they slowly fall.
Here's one I saw a couple weeks ago.
This is just going to be me describing a video.
The song Cotton Eye Joe is playing.
Oh, I love that song.
And a guy is like wearing shorts and cowboy boots.
Okay, he's ready.
And he's got a bunch of like soda cans
and beer cans lined up.
And it looks like he's about to stomp them all
to the beat of the song. Of course.
Nice.
And steps on the first one, slips and just falls over,
pulls down like the drapes that are.
Oh, I love that.
I love that.
Yeah.
Do you like social media?
Do you hate it?
I'm mostly on it to like get the newest Dr. Pepper.
Yeah, what is there?
Recipe?
Well, apparently there's a banana now.
I'm going to Newfoundland and their thing is they have like different crushes.
Oh yeah.
So they have like, there's like something called like Pine Punch
or something like that.
And birch something.
And apparently like, I don't know why they get
their own sodas.
So you have to try them all.
Yeah, I guess I do.
While I'm out there, I got to try birch beer crush.
I saw, I was at the store the other day
and they had crush flavored freezies.
Of course.
And they were like it was too they were too expensive.
And there was another container of freezies right next to it that was the same
net weight, half the price.
And I was like, Branding, I still want those crush.
I'll come back later.
Let's see if the price is real. Mm hmm. I want this summer, like food I want to those crush ones. I'll come back later. Let's see what the price goes down. Grand power is real.
I want this summer, like food I want to consume this summer.
Corn.
Oh my gosh, so yum yum.
Peaches, even though the local growers of peaches,
no peaches this year.
Oh.
All their, yeah, all their trees and stuff died
during the cold snap.
Oh man.
Yeah, so no peaches from there.
Might get them from America.
But the ones there, there's a place called Peachland.
Yeah.
And then I wanted to eat an ice cream sandwich,
but a fancy expensive one.
Oh my gosh.
Oh yeah.
Ice cream sandwich, a good one is really hard
to find for me.
Yeah, like there's apparently like those Oreo ones
Oh, so good. I think I had those way
for the grocery store
Okay, thanks
Like an Oreo a giant Oreo, but in between is but it's the cookie soft or is it crispy?
It's softened up when you get a text.
I'm making it up.
Make sure my friend does.
We're all...
You know what? Did any of you...
I don't think so.
You know, it might have been me.
Look, I don't think it's crispy.
Do you want it crispy or soft?
I would love the cookies to be crispy. Oh yeah, that's hard to pull off. I know yeah cuz soft maybe would squish altogether
Yeah, I guess if you're making a fresh one where it's like you have crispy cookies and then you add the ice cream yourself
Yeah, I can it is wonderland. They had the best ice cream. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh my lord. It was massive and like
ice cream cookie. Oh yeah? Oh my lord it was massive. And like were there options of what type of cookie? Because that's what I'm looking for like a fancy place
that's like you got chocolate chip or you can have a ginger snap or you could have.
I don't think so. No? I think it was just the one it was a massive cookie and then
they made the cookie in front of you and the ice cream was thick. Nice. And then
after they would rub chocolate chips
all over them to the side.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Never been to Canada's Wonderland.
You should go.
Yeah?
Yeah, make a trip.
It's an amusement park?
Yes.
Any deaths?
No, not yet.
Okay.
Even though half of a roller coaster
is like in the parking lot.
Oh, really? Like on purpose?
That's the only that's the only room they had. Oh, there's a new roller coaster opening this summer here.
Yeah. At Playland.
It's I've never been to Playland.
It's probably maybe less
well done than Canada's Wonderland.
Yeah, probably. Yeah. Canada's Wonderland.
Yeah, probably.
Yeah, it's the Wonderland, it's a thing.
Do they have like a theme or is it just general?
It's general Wonderland.
General Wonderland.
Just general Wonder all around.
They only do theme like seasonal themes like Halloween and Christmas and stuff but not like Disney-esque
or associated with any franchise.
There's no mascots there.
I think there is but I don't know.
Because there's like Six Flags in the States will sometimes have like the Batman ride which
is like unaffiliated with the general theme.
Yeah.
The theme being the Vengabas.
I think they're trying to go more Six Flag energy. Yeah. Yeah. The theme being the Vengabas. I think they're trying to go
more Six Flags energy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think the only mascots you ever see at the
Playland is like a mascot for Waste Disposal or something like that. The Egg Council. I'm
drippy from the Waste Disposal. Yeah. But the new roller coaster is one where it's like, because they have a roller coaster
that is an old wooden roller coaster.
That looks scary.
Yeah.
And if you have any like, any spine problems.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen the movie Fear with Mark Wahlberg?
Yes.
It's the roller coaster.
I was the only girl that found him unattractive oh I'm not gonna date him he looks dangerous
he does look oh you were right I was I would have been saved and so it's the
roller coaster from that movie yes and then but the they had one that was like
a corkscrew before and now this this new one is one that like, just starts, accelerates from nothing.
I kind of think that would be better
because I feel like the ticking up the hill thing
is building like a, it's too much suspense.
Yeah.
I did the Incredicoaster at California Adventure last year.
What was that?
It's based on the Incredibles,
but it is that kind of like, you get on it, go slowly, and then it goes to the Incredibles, but it is that kind of like,
like you get on it, go slowly,
and then it goes to the very bottom and then you hear,
oh no, Jack Jack, don't hit that button.
No you don't.
It launches you up.
Oh, are you, how are you situated?
How are you sitting?
Are you like this or are you like?
Oh, I'm crisscross apples on.
Really?
No.
No, because some rides have you like hanging. Oh yeah, no, it's,cross apples on it. Really? No. No, because some rides have you hanging.
Oh, yeah, no.
It's your feet are enclosed.
Oh, okay.
Because that is like a real fear.
But it goes upside down.
Oh, gosh.
I don't get that.
I don't get crisscrossing.
I chomped on my knuckles that whole ride.
Yeah, I also like,
always afraid I'm gonna lose my shoes or my thumb.
You know what I mean? And then I would just, where am always afraid I'm gonna lose my shoes or my thumb, you know what I mean?
And then I would just, where am I with my one shoe?
When I first came to Canada, we went to Niagara Falls
and then there was some amusement park there.
And we went there and I went to the big one,
just so circular, nothing crazy.
And then my shoe fell and I was terrified.
Yeah, this confirms my
fear. Yeah. I was like I just came to this weird country and now my shoes gone.
Mm-hmm. What else is there to do for me? I was terrified and they took a lot. Now I'm an old woman.
How old were you when you came? I think I was like six. Six, okay. Or five to six. Yeah, I lost my shoe in a mosh pit once too
I can relate
Yeah, I feel like something that happens here probably with some regularity is at a party when you're putting on your boots
You might put on somebody else's boots and they've all got one stone
I just don't want to feel like I'm gonna be slipping into something gross.
Yeah, somebody else's shoe is gross.
Ew.
Yeah, I've bought second hand shoes,
but only if they're like brand new.
Oh my gosh, it happened to me once,
and I stepped into some man's shoe,
and like, I, oh.
Oh.
Ha ha ha ha.
I felt like we had some like transference energy
Oh my lord because like his feet that he would worked in his shoes like he needs right over that man is
Whoever you are sir. You need change your shoe. Yeah, it was just so I'm just like, oh my god
Oh, they were like bumps in it that I'm like, oh my lord, sir
You you need to calm down.
Whoever you are, you've worn your shoe out.
Wow.
Wow.
It was so gross.
I play hockey and I have a pair of skates.
When you buy hockey skates, they bake them
and you like, you choose them, they fit you.
And then they bake them and like they heat them up
and then you put your feet back in. they mold to your feet. Whoa! And then you end up
with that man's shoes. Oh maybe he's a ex-hockey player. Maybe he baked
his shoes. That was because I grew up in Calgary and like going skiing was pretty
easy to do. You didn't have to drive very long, but we'd have to rent boots.
And man, every time they put on those boots,
pinches your leg.
Every single time.
Yeah.
But yeah, I...
What was I gonna say?
It doesn't matter.
You wanna eat corn?
Yeah, what do you wanna eat?
What's your summer food?
Well, you know what?
So one of my daughters had a stomach thing the last week.
She missed a whole week of school
and we couldn't figure out what the deal was
and I felt so bad because the mangoes were so good last week.
They were.
She missed that on the way out.
She missed that on the way out.
And it was like, and you know, I don't go to like a fancy,
special or not fancy or even just like a grocery store
that has a good produce stand.
I just go to the supermarket.
Yeah. So there's only gonna be one week, one week a year
where you're gonna get half decent mangoes.
Yeah, what about you, summer food, what are you getting into?
I love watermelon and mango and blueberries.
Did I miss mango season altogether?
If you go to a proper fruit stand, you'll get good mango.
But if you go to Safeway, mango season is over.
Damn it.
Yeah.
Blueberries?
Yes.
Huge.
Oh, I love them.
I just love them.
I love eating them until I'm sick.
Yeah.
There's, oh my God, I'll tell you.
I can eat them until I'm sick.
There's a place where I used to live, little mom and pop shop.
They sell you giant bag, like a pillowcase size bag
They will dump out of buckets. They just have buckets and buckets and buckets of blueberries on Fraser. Yeah, it's a silver. Yeah
Yes, yeah
We my wife I like
We literally bought the biggest bag that we go that wasn't a suitcase
But to answer your question also, cherries?
Ooh, cherries.
And yeah, peaches are good, cherries are good.
Yeah, mangos.
I'm leaving some of it.
If I forgot you other fruits and things, then-
I got into papaya.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, last year.
Is that the one with the little black seeds?
Yes. How do you eat it? Yeah, how do you eat a papaya? You can scoop Yeah, last year. Is that the one with the little black seeds? Yes.
How do you eat it?
Yeah, how do you eat a papaya?
You can scoop up the seeds, you don't have to,
because I took a bite of the seeds.
Those things are spicy.
Oh really?
My lord.
Papaya seed soup over here when you're really sick?
Yes.
Fun fact, try that.
It truly was like, what the fudge is this?
But the papaya itself is very sweet or a little bit
Bitter depending on how firm it is, right? But it's like also very it's not juicy. It's juicy, but it's not like juice
Yeah, not like each juice exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's a girth to it. Okay
Papaya Oh pies. I want to make pies. Oh, yes
Oh, pies. I want to make pies. Oh, yes.
Come over.
Yeah, come on.
Everybody come over.
Everyone with a big pie party.
My brother makes the best apple pie.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, my lord.
It's disgusting.
Well, you'll have to bring it here and we'll all try it out.
Bring it back from whenever you're visiting.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
It'll be hard.
I'll be eating it.
Is that in Washington?
Yes.
Oh, you know how they get the crust?
It's over there.
It is?
Because of the wheat. Get out of here! Be hard, I'll be eating it, don't I? Is that in Washington? Yes. Oh, you know how they get the, it's the crust, it's over there.
It is.
Because of the wheat.
Get out of here.
Okay.
Oh my Lord, it's ridiculous.
Okay.
It's flaky, it's, oh my, it's so good.
Is that a real thing?
Not the wheat?
I mean.
No, I mean, you just mentioned the wheat earlier.
Now I believe it.
I just believe it.
Dave, what's gonna leave my friend? Well, speaking of America,
God bless it.
That's as American as
apple pie.
I heard
there was going to be a
strike by the Canadian
border guards.
No, what does that mean?
Well, they were going gonna go on strike.
But it'd be very funny if the management
had to go like work the boots.
Yeah, sure.
They're like just like, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to.
So I heard it was supposed to happen last Friday
and we have a mailbox in Blaine, Washington
and there were like four packages there
and I was like, it's not the best time to go
but I better go before this strike happens
because I don't know who knows what's up.
So I went last Thursday and I drove down
and it was like 11 in the morning on a Thursday.
There was no lineup going south,
but I could see the lineup coming north.
And I was like, oh, that looks like a half hour lineup.
It's not too bad.
And as I'm crossing into America,
the American border guard says okay where do
you live Vancouver purpose of your trip I'm picking up some packages for business
or personal personal you know there's like a three hour wait on the way back
and I was like oh really yeah they're on strike and I said oh oh but that I
thought that was tomorrow.
They went early.
Oh, shit, really big flack.
So I, and that's all he asked me.
And then, so I, normally they have like five or six
questions to kind of like wear you down.
And so I went, picked up my packages,
got a little Taco Bell and then drove
back towards Canada there was a 20 minute wait I googled it like I lied to
me what was his deal maybe that's he was playing with your brain hoping that
you'd be like you know yeah okay on me yeah or if I was like actually I'm
driving to Mexico yeah like well. Oh, that's too bad
Oh, you mean ooh is I know it's portrayed in movies that Mexico is a place you can go without a passport
I don't think that's true anymore. No, that's probably not true, right? I mean try it see what happens
Yeah, that's right. Guess and check. That's right. You can go, do you know this, that you can turn if you're on 6th Avenue,
2nd Avenue, you know where 2nd Avenue becomes 6th,
becomes 4th, if you turn onto Oak Street,
then you can drive straight and get to Mexico.
Just staying on that road?
Yeah. I love it.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
That's great.
That's where Oak Street begins.
In Mexico. And you can just, then you'll end up in Tijuana.
Wow. Wow.
Yeah. I'm gonna try that.
I'm gonna have to see.
I'm gonna have to go to Mexico one day.
It's beautiful.
Is it? Yes.
Where have you been?
Ooh, I've been two places.
And yet I can't remember.
The story's not checking out.
Don't, you know, be more sure of yourself
if you encounter a border guard.
I know, I should do this.
I went for my friend's wedding in Porta Vallarta.
Yes.
Can't really say it.
Beautiful.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful.
No, once, only there.
Okay. Only there.
Why did you think you went twice?
Because I went somewhere else, no,
it was the Dominican Republic.
Ah, there we go.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was the Dominican Republic.
It's just, and also beautiful.
Yeah. But yeah.
I've been to Tijuana for a day,
and I'm like, this is down, not for me, man.
It's a rough, rough, rough time.
Yeah, I think it's probably a different experience
than like, Cancun. Yeah. Yeah. What's a rough, rough, rough town. Yeah, I think it's probably a different experience than like Cancun.
Yeah.
Exactly.
What's the vibe in Tijuana?
It's, I think, it's a very poor area.
And I think it's something that a lot of tourists
maybe drive by on their way to somewhere else.
But we just went, it's right at the border.
So it's like any other, you know, small border town.
A lot of kids trying to sell me chicklets.
Can you still buy chicklets?
I don't know, but they had those, the two packs.
Yeah.
And, yes.
They would try and sell you.
There you go. They have, because Chicklets, they used to come in like a paper box, a paper little sleeve
that you open up one end of it and they had like a little window, like a plastic window into the box. Yeah. And when you were done
with the box, you blow into it and it goes, oh, that's right. I never did that.
Oh, you gotta go back in time. I wasted it. Chicklets aren't around anymore, are they?
I don't know, they sell something called chimes that looks similar. I don't know,
they're maybe, they're in the health food store. There may be healthy gum.
Yeah, nothing worse.
With no sugar?
There is no thing worse than a healthy thing
that's supposed to be unhealthy.
I tried that, I don't even remember the name,
but the fish, the healthy gummies.
Oh yeah?
Oh my God, no.
No?
No.
Like just to the worst taste?
The texture, just like, it just.
Yeah, with some fake sugar or like.
I don't know what they're trying to do but don't do it.
Just be like hey try not to eat candy a lot.
And I'll be like yeah that's fine.
I'll do that.
No deal.
No deal.
I once had like a cereal that was promoted as like
you know having vitamins and protein and all that stuff.
Part of a complete breakfast.
Yeah like a literal part of a complete breakfast.
But it was so bad.
It was so bad.
I was to the point, I'm like,
did anybody have cereal that ever worked on this project?
Because, we're gonna have a new project.
Oh God.
It's the cereal that sucks.
It was, it was so astonishing how bad it was.
Yeah.
That, I don't know how something like that
gets past rounds and rounds of taste test.
That's true.
Maybe it's for athletes
and they're just used to eating powder.
Right, yeah, that's true.
You know, like Vector, remember Vector?
Yes, Vector I think you still get.
Yeah.
Did you eat Vector?
I remember when it first came out,
my brothers were athletes, so they got all this like like and I was like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, and you had it's no good
No good, but yeah, yeah
Were the other things aimed at like I feel like there were other cereals or Wheaties is a famous one
Yeah, what aimed at like at all? Oh athletes. Yeah feel like maybe
Special case aimed at all. Yeah
What is the one that everybody gets their face on the box of?
Weedies.
Weedies.
Weedies.
Are Cheerios?
Cheerios?
Cheerios in Canada is like sponsor of the Olympics.
Yeah, you could save your heart apparently.
Yeah.
Just keep eating Cheerios.
Three bowls a day and your heart will be fine.
They keep coming out with like there's like a there's you know, honey nut classic multigrain
Maybe the best of all
Chocolate Cheerios now, but then there's others like a weird strawberry like a pink Cheerio. No, no, no, no
We should do a an episode where we eat all the two types of Cheerios and rank them. Yeah, that's fine. That could be fun
Yeah, I like apple cinnamon. That's my current champ, but Cheerios. Yeah, I forgot rank them. Yeah. That's fine. That could be fun. I like apple cinnamon.
That's my current champ.
Cheerios?
Yeah.
I forgot about that.
Yeah.
Oh, they're so crunchy.
What's crunchy about them?
They add a little...
I think they got a little glue on it, you know, like a little paste.
They don't add like a little granola to it or something?
No, it just, it looks like a normal Cheerio.
Is that gluten-free?
Yeah, because it's made of oats.
I can have oats.
I don't know what oats are.
That's exactly, I don't know, but I knew right away,
I was like, I gotta find what I can eat
and oats was on the list.
So I was like, yes.
So many things are made with oats.
What else?
Oatmeal.
I just assume oats are wheat.
Yeah, so did I.
And I was going to buy raisin bran and I was like, nope, can't have bran.
I love raisin.
Really?
I love raisin bran.
So do you know that they now have mini wheat minis?
How?
How small are they?
Not even that small.
You don't notice it when you're eating them.
There's no way that a young person would ever know that there was a wheat cereal to compare it to mini wheats.
And that's why it's called mini wheats.
It was shredded wheat?
Shredded wheat.
Oh yeah, that was a big stack. I used to just one big...
And then you'd have to let it soak in the milk. Oh man, that is depression era.
But like, it's one of those things is there a name for it where the thing the secondary thing that they
Split off became more famous than the thing it split off from Urkel
yeah, no like
like the
Edinburgh Fringe Festival is a cast off from the Edinburgh Festival
Because people are like you got to be all rich to be at this festival
They started the fridge, but now the fringe is way bigger than the Edinburgh festival as it should be. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you
Yeah, good good everyone. I don't know. I feel like
You know Camila Cabello is more popular than Fifth Harmony was
This is exactly what I'm talking about. I got into their whole drama a few years ago.
What was the drama?
I mean, I really don't know.
They wanted to break up?
They wanted to break up and there were like stars in the band but these stars weren't
getting the attention and then the long girls were getting the attention and then eventually
one of them left.
I don't even know their names.
No. One of them left and I don't even know the names. No.
One of them left and now they're all disbanded.
Yeah.
And then now one of them has like an album.
Or like.
Camila Cabello I think was in there and she was,
she's the.
She's Havana-na-na-na?
Yeah, she's Havana-na-na.
She is.
Havana-una-na.
But have you seen her dance?
It's funny watching her dance.
Why?
Is she so bad?
Oh my, but like, and not to be mean,
but it's just like gleefully bad.
It's also funny watching Napoleon Dynamite dance,
and we all love that.
Yes, yes.
I would have quit into that.
Does she wear a Vogue for Pedro shirt?
If only.
I think it just, I think this year,
it's been 20 years since that movie was it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Isn't that crazy? Somebody, a friend of mine contacted me,
and like, we went to that movie that's now celebrating
its 20th anniversary.
I was like, wow.
I remember that summer well.
I went to see it in the theaters more than once.
I mean, too.
Yeah, I enjoyed it so much.
I went to multiple cities.
Oh, really?
Never seen it.
Really?
Yeah.
It's very, it's not about much.
It's about this kid that's a weird kid
and his kind of day-to-day life.
There's not much of a plot.
Yeah.
And then his friend Pedro is running for class president.
Yeah, so they make sure it's the safe vote for Pedro.
And he's got a weird uncle.
It's really funny.
A weird brother.
Like it felt like it was plucked from my childhood.
Like there were so many elements in it.
It's like, I remember that sweater.
I remember that thing.
I remember going to this dance,
going and seeing cows or whatever.
Like this is all part of the thing.
But yeah, I don't know.
I mean, I still think it's funny,
but I don't know if a modern audience.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah.
When can I show my kids Napoleon Dynamite?
Tomorrow. There's no swear and nothing in it. Made by two good Mormon boys. Oh, that's lovely.
I think they were a husband and wife, weren't they? Oh, a husband and wife Mormon boys.
Mormon boys. And they later made a Nacho Libre. Yeah. And they made a, like a, this Netflix documentary
about true crime, I think it's Murder Among the Mormons.
Oh.
About a guy who was like selling counterfeit,
like historical Mormon documents.
Oh.
Okay.
Check it out.
I will.
I do love when like,
righteous people do so like randomly horrible sinful things.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's entertaining.
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
It's like why?
Yeah.
It's...
Yeah, what's...
I just watched a documentary about something.
It was called the tick-tock
With the devil yeah, what is it? I've heard people watching it. It was it was a cult
When how so yeah the guy you watch it already I started watching the beginning and I had to go
Yeah, it doesn't actually
Tavors off and it's not very good in the second.
Oh, you mean like every true crime documentary? But it's like it was when it was about TikTok,
I was like, this is fascinating. Yes. It was a bunch of TikTok dancers. There was a sister
troupe. And then they connected all through these other people through their Christian
affiliation. Like they were all Christians and they met through the church.
Not through TikTok.
Not through TikTok.
No.
But they showed-
They saw it as just a platform.
Yeah.
They showed how all these people were doing these like really incredible dances.
And, but they all were kind of the same.
And this, the leader of the cult said like, you should do it to older music.
Because then people will, you know, wider audience instead of just like a modern track and
they did it blew up and so this guy really he was like I'm the genius so
they just followed him blindly and that's one by one people left yeah one
sister stay behind she's you know excommunicated with the family how many
people are in it how many people do you need to be a cult?
More than 10.
That's a good question.
Yeah.
More than 10?
I would argue.
Like.
Yeah, no, that sounds like the right number.
Yeah, 10.
Cause yeah, if you go on a cult field trip,
you want to at least feel like one of the like tiny.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, a big man.
And then how big can a cult get
before it becomes like a religion?
Is that the next step up?
What's the one where?
I'm not saying anything.
What's the one where like hundreds of people
will get married all at once?
Oh, is that the Korean?
Yeah, something though, right?
It feels like that might be a cult somewhere.
Yeah.
I just couldn't. Join a cult cult or get married with a bunch of people
that and that
Across the board not a fan like with every cult thing. They don't know that they're joining a cult until it's too late like
Respectfully, how do you not know that you're joining a call? Well, I feel like with a lot of things like
the Well, I feel like with a lot of things like the like Scientology,
yeah, it's like self-help stuff at the very beginning and it's helping them and they're like,
oh, this is really good. And then when you can't leave and stuff, then you're like, oh damn.
Yeah. And that's what it was like with this like, hey, they're getting really good at TikTok dances.
Oh, is it? Yeah. And like, just I don't understand social media like what does a dancer?
What do they hope they end up at like the Moulin Rouge or Vegas?
Maybe I mean I guess I think for everybody now is to dance for like to dance for like, you know
Like they're Swift or like right. Yeah beyond the contour. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Well, you know what everybody out there with dancing dreams keep at it. Yeah, just keep yeah. Well, you know what, everybody out there with dancing dreams, keep at it.
Yeah, just keep your feet moving.
Yes, I know.
Your daughters are dancing
and then they're all religious, watch out.
Yeah, before you know it.
Watch out.
Yeah, well, I was at the chapel in the airport
and there was these religious dancers.
A one, a two, a one, two, three, oh.
Graham. Yes.
What's going on with you?
Well, it's summertime, and that means one thing to me,
garage sales.
Oh, yes.
Garage sales are kicking off, and man oh man,
I've been to several already.
This year, with Slim Pickens so far.
Is there like a thing that,
do things rise and fall in popularity in in years or is it always just like
yeah, I like
Like do you mean like I like my masters or yeah, like or like people selling
Yeah, what would it be?
Insta pots or
Air fryers. No nothing like that. There's some that you go to and then you realize
like it's mostly baby clothes and stuff like that
or it's just like this old woman's wardrobe
and you're like, well, I guess maybe
you could find something nice.
But it was kind of striking out.
Then I went to this one.
Holy shit, it was awesome.
Man, oh man.
Where I went to go, last week I talked about
going to watch Sumo Wrestling. Yeah. That was right across the street from that and it was like. Was oh man where I went to go last week. I talked about going to watch sumo wrestling
Yeah, that was right across the street from that and it was like was on the same day same day. Okay, and it was a day
What a day. Oh my god, but this garage sale was like like going into almost like a museum
They had all these different little compartments of stuff on a table. So they had like a great
table setup even and
had all these like what do you call like curios or you love that stuff I love it
because you get anything I did okay yeah the number one thing I the the marquee thing that drew me in instantly was an old time pencil sharpener.
Oh my Lord.
On the wall, could you?
I could screw it to the wall.
Yeah.
It was, seeing it, I was like, I must.
Yes.
It called out to me.
And how often do you use a pencil?
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it from now on.
Because my kids are in school and so we, and so we went from owning zero pencils to 50.
Yeah.
Different colors?
You can never find the damn sharpener.
But you had one to your wall.
I know, exactly.
That's where it is.
And the only downside was when I put it in the bag,
I was carrying a bunch of shavings.
A bunch of shavings went everywhere.
But yeah, that was the big ticket item.
That was the big ticket item.
What was the big ticket price?
Oh, like five bucks.
Okay.
These people weren't being precious about this stuff.
But they presented it as if they were like antique curators.
That's lovely.
It was great.
I hope they made their mark
Yeah, but it was also just like yeah, they made their mark, too
There's like little pins and little watch you have a garage sale
Is the goal to make your mark?
Is the goal to make money or is the goal mostly to get rid of I think is mostly to get rid of stuff
Is the goal to make money or is the goal mostly to get rid of stuff? I think it's mostly to get rid of stuff.
Because at the end of the day, if you go to enough garage sales, like at around 3pm, they're
giving stuff away.
They're like, I just don't want this.
Yeah.
I don't want to bring it back in.
Yeah.
I went to one a couple summers ago where it was somebody had obviously bought so much
in bulk and then the kind of like due date was coming up until they need to offload. Okay, and they had a whole garage
May field
Bottom to top with diapers. Oh, wow. I hope somebody bought that I got quite a few of them
I gave away to people who have babies. That's weird
Diapers expire I guess so? Do they?
Or maybe they had a baby that no longer needs them.
Do diapers expire?
I don't know.
Like car seats do.
Why and how?
I think the plastic
can get weaker over time.
I know like hockey
helmets do as well.
Oh yeah. And then maybe a little bit of new technology in there.
Put an extra pad or something.
Do we have AI in there?
Yeah, we have AI in there.
Well, you know what is an ad I get a lot on websites.
At the bottom where they give you a bunch of junk ads,
I get a lot of this 68, you'll never guess what this 68 year
old Canadian woman is or does to stay so young.
ads I get a lot of this 68 you'll never guess what this 68 year old Canadian woman is does to stay so young and it's always an AI picture of yeah not a no of
a 20 year old woman yeah it's like you look like this at 60 yeah yeah yeah
either you guys garage sale folks um or thrift store folks or vintage
store folks? Not really. I don't know. If I see something, then I check. I never seem to stumble
upon any. I feel like some people have natural luck at it, which I can go either way. My wife,
always, every single one, she finds up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and
Yeah, she got you got the most of this stuff got a whole time a giant scissors We know scissors have like plastic. No, this is like the old. Oh wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you sharpen them
You sharpen them. I got a pencil sharpener
Those feel like they're they're the kind that you could sharpen.
Yeah.
You could take to like, I don't know, the mall.
Oh yeah.
To like blades, etc. or whatever it's called.
Do you mind sharing?
I feel like there was a knife place at the mall.
Yeah.
Yes.
Have you ever had a Groschell?
No. No. cell? No.
No. No.
No.
I don't think so.
Seems like with four people,
you would accrue a lot of stuff that you're like,
I gotta get out of here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, we hand down a lot of toys and stuff.
Right.
And, you know, clothes.
But the kids, you know,
the kids don't have that throw it away urge yet
hmm yes everything's a it's like pulling teeth together can I throw away this
happy meal toy that you never played with from six years ago no well that's
what Dave used to do I used to just stay and then they would open the garbage and They're twisting and cry. Oh man, don't do that either.
I didn't know that part.
Yeah, you may.
What?
Well, I have two children.
One is post-Santa Claus, post-Tooth Fairy.
And she started losing teeth again. Like they come in waves.
So like my younger child who still believes is like,
hey, did the Tooth Fairy come last night?
And my older child was like, no, why not?
So we had to come up with this big plan.
And she lost two teeth in two days.
So like, yeah.
And so we had to be like, oh no,
we forgot to put the teeth under the pillow.
And then I'm like explaining like, okay,
tonight we're putting two under, I'm giving you $4.
Make sure you show it.
This is $4 hush money.
So yeah, yeah.
Oh man, oh man.
What's your process?
Have them discover the truth by themselves?
Yeah, basically they're like friends kind of.
Okay.
Stop believing and then.
But then my kid's teacher, the grade four teacher this year,
they're big buddies for a class of grade ones
and so they had to help these kids write their letters
to Santa and my kid's teacher was like,
a lot of these kids still believe in Santa.
So, and you're like, wait, these nine-year-olds
probably still believe in Santa too, but she totally.
Wow, that's a gaffe.
But I feel like they were all, or at least mine was, my daughter was, you know,
ready to stop believing.
Yeah, that's true.
I tried to play Don't Stop Believing.
Yeah, I was gonna say, it was kind of, was it Journey?
Yeah. Yeah.
But she wouldn't hear it.
I will stop believing.
Do you guys think we should move on to some over-herds?
Yeah.
City pop to me is like a a feeling city pop is beautiful music. It's music that makes me emotional
There's so many different sounds that fall into the city pop category. It just feels very home to me
We're just about wrapped on our inaugural season of primer
If you didn't know primer is a new podcast that explores music from outside the English-speaking world. And Vulture called us one of the best podcasts of the year! Our
first season covered Japanese city pop and you just heard a few of our past guests share
what the genre means to them. Learn more about the world of city pop and listen to some cool
tunes. And if you like what we're doing, you can make a one-time contribution and help
us reach our goal to produce a second season about a new genre! Support Primer over at Hi, I'm Jesse Thorn, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have a special announcement.
I'm no longer embarrassed by my brother, my brother, and me.
You know, for years, each new episode of this supposed advice show was a fresh insult. A depraved
jumble of erection jokes, ghost humor, and frankly this is for the best, very
little actionable advice. But now as they enter their twilight years I'm as
surprised as anyone to admit that it's gotten kind of good. Justin, Travis, and
Griffin's witticisms are more refined,
like a humor column in a fancy magazine. And they hardly ever say bazinga anymore.
So, after you've completely finished listening to every single one of all of our other shows,
why not join the McElroy Brothers every week for My Brother, my brother and me. Overheard.
Overheard is a section of the Here,
Puh-Hah podcast that we like to talk about things we've
overheard or overseen or in an occasional case, over-dreamt.
We always like to start with the guest.
Essay, do you have an overheard?
I do. It's a meme on Instagram.
Yeah, a lot of memes.
And it's about comparing the sound of,
I forget, the animal, maybe a goat,
to any human that just ran a lap.
And the farmer is just rubbing this goat's throat and just the sound it made, I made
that sound.
You did?
In my life.
I was like, I made that sound.
That is me.
Is it when you were running or?
When I'm running and after you're running.
It was just so familiar to me.
You guys suggested a lot of running memes?
No, no, no. It's just so familiar to me. You guys suggested a lot of running memes?
No, no, no.
I have a lot of athletes on my stories,
on my thing, but like, no.
Do you run now, currently?
Trying to.
Okay.
Just for like, fun things, summer thing to do.
That's a big summer thing to do, take up running?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
When it's too hot to run.
Yeah, you gotta do it early in the day or late at night.
Yeah.
Although, you know, you'll see those guys out there
not wearing their shirts, just running around
like this is gymnasium time.
I'm running after them trying to get a good look.
Ha ha ha ha!
Stop, slow down.
Dave, do you have an over-head over here? We talked a couple weeks ago about someone called in with something from like an, they
described as an Adam and Eve store, which is like a sex shop, but like sort of sophisticated.
And there's one in our neighborhood that's that kind of like, you know, they don't have
like, it's not like a porno store.
It's like a place for like
couples to go and like it's all you know, like
They have window displays
But it is weird cuz it's like They're like, sir, we need to, we need Windex on the window again.
Well, I could clean the window.
Get your nose off of it.
Anyway, so the, I was walking past this store and they had a little piece of paper in the
window, a little sign for a seminar that someone's giving.
Okay. Okay.
And here's what it said.
The art of oral, give and receive the best blowjobs ever.
Oh. What?
And I was like, receive?
Yeah.
Like, who's going to do the seminar?
I saw you the sign about receiving the best blowjobs ever.
I'm here for the seminar
What is the new one needs to be taught I hope in the fine prints as couples only
Yeah, that's right. There'd be a lot of a lot of weirdo pervs in there, right? Yeah, although they know their customer base
You know, maybe yeah, maybe seminar Wow gotta be video at that right? Or is it just like a zoom seminar? Oh
dangerous dangerous if it's a zoom
Yeah, it's uh, well, you know sometimes you gotta you be showing the rope
I mean, I well, yeah
I know there's the the obviously these things exist these seminars exist the thing. It's like, what am I doing wrong?
I'm just not receiving them.
What?
I think, yeah.
And like, would that be a big thing
if you were dating somebody like,
I've been to all the seminars,
I've been to a couple of conferences.
I know how to give and receive.
I've got, you know, my merit badges.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I got some free swag, you know,
from all these different booths.
I mean, there are those though, in real life swag, you know from all these different booths I mean there are
Yeah
Actually advance to the next level swim lesson, yeah, this is kind of like the black belt
Oh Lord
Graham do you have heard of this is this is like it's kind of like a Simpsons gag
But it was real is it was woman
at the garage sale and picked out a like a straight razor uh-huh and
She said oh look at this this old-time scraper and her friend would what's a scraper? She goes this and she goes. Oh, yeah scraper
Kind of like the Simpsons where he's like guy what's a guy? Oh, yeah, I'm good
I have a scraper. Yeah, that's like
Use it to scrape. We used to have a glass
Stovetop. Oh, yeah, and you, if stuff spilled on it and burned on it,
you'd have to scrape it off.
Oh, but that's not what this was.
No.
They were wrong.
They were so wrong.
Oh, scraper.
Yeah, oh, scraper.
I saw this episode, the best episode of Dragon's Den,
or one of those.
Yeah, yeah.
RuPaul's Dragon's Den.
Yes, RuPaul's Dragon's Den.
But it was the best episode
because this man
was just a broken man on television.
It was quite entertaining.
But he lost his job.
He was a scientist.
He lost his job and he was staying home father.
He didn't like it.
He did not like it.
And he kept on talking about his mother-in-law.
And every time he brought her up, his tone would change.
I'm like, you don't like your mother-in-law and every time he brought her up his tone would change I'm like you don't like your mother-in-law anyways he came up with
intervention as a broom just a broom but if you click it there's a scraper that
pops off at the bottom so instead of getting to your knees and scraping the
gums because right yeah those kids are just constantly dropping gum on the
floor why do I like to chew them? You can just press a button and scrape the floor. Right? Why do I keep- Why do you like to chew them?
You could just press a button and scrape the gum and it's all gone.
I love this.
Right.
Yeah.
They all loved it.
And the two dudes were trying to fight him for, to pick them.
But then one guy goes, make up your mind and pick me.
What are you going to do?
Call your wife?
Whoa.
And he got so angry and goes, no, I don't need her I'll take your team I
worked oh I loved that episode he did not like his life yeah yeah he was like
how do I get out of it if that's those sort of scrabble my way out of there
There's a the American version shark tank. Mm-hmm. They all
Went said no deal to the guy who invented the like what you have in your house a bird
Camera. Oh, yeah, and they were like who's gonna want that and he was like it'll go right your phone Who's gonna want that? Mm-hmm. As soon as you ask everybody. Yeah. Yeah, everybody's gonna love it
So that he get a bird. Yeah, everybody's gonna love it. So he get a bird's up?
No, it's the nest camera.
The nest camera, so not a bird.
He said bird camera,
which made you think it was a camera for birds.
And that's why they were all out.
Yeah.
Nobody wants this.
They misunderstood as well.
But yeah, it's like at the front door,
like you had films.
Yeah.
It's the doorbell camera.
Oh, yes.
But then it can go to your phone.
Yes.
Yes.
But they were so.
Right.
Why would you want to know?
Why would you want to know?
Is it your friend?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, everybody.
Yeah.
That's why people's right.
People's people.
Yeah.
People's people.
Now, we also have overheard sent in to us by people. Now this is a few weeks ago
The Graham asked people to start sending in more overheards because he was running low and that episode just came out
Okay before we recorded this one and it is but Graham's swimming in the now. I've got so many now. Oh
Flip through them and yeah people really stepped up. Thank you everybody for stepping up with these overheards this first one comes from Natalie from Hamilton, Ontario. This is an over dreamt
I have an over dreamt from a few weeks ago. I thought you guys might enjoy I
Dreamt I had this ground breaking amazing idea for a show and all the writers and agents I spoke to were so excited about it
I was about to go into production and I woke up
I laughed so hard because the whole idea in its entirety was a character named Diana diarrhea
Overdressed, I love that. How does she wake up like, huh?
Just laughing, like, oh, that's the best idea.
I'm gonna be rich. Oh, wait a minute.
Gets her out of dream journal.
Yeah. Yeah.
I didn't prefer forget.
Have you ever done that where you've thought of like, I gotta remember this.
No.
I've just wrapped this thing up.
I tried to, but nothing came to my head I was like oh yeah I just have an empty
pad of paper exactly I'm just like I remember writing down waking up and
writing down time-traveling robot and that I was like in the morning I was
like that's just Terminator I just came up with Terminator. Are you a big dreamer?
I am. Yeah? I am. Are you like every night? Not every night.
Usually when I'm emotionally charged, I dream.
But sometimes randomly I have like just one-offs
that are just so weird.
Like the other day I dreamt,
I was in Whistler just to spa with some friends.
But I work with a bunch of lovely young kids.
And I had a dream that I was in Whistler
with one of those kids
and this guy this lovely boy he's so beautiful but he's so he's a young
player and I would never want to like respectfully hang out with him yeah
especially in Whistler yeah but in my dream it was just him and I huh and he
wanted to go out and meet people and and have fun and I wanted to sleep so I'm
like why am I and then I'm like why why am I? And then I'm like, why are you here?
And did he answer?
No, he was like, let's go out.
Like he really wanted to go.
And I woke up just like, huh?
Yeah, why am I doing that?
I do have a lot of those, that kind of like,
Right?
Like, why is this happening?
This is a dream.
Am I in a dream again?
Yeah.
This is a dream.
I get, I emotionally charged that leads to dreams and travel I find like being in
a different city in a different bed.
Okay.
Makes me have dreams every single day.
Huh.
Wow.
This next one comes from Zach in Montreal.
I recently overheard this interaction between a mother and her daughter on a Montreal street.
Daughter. No, he's a really nice guy. I recently overheard this interaction between a mother and her daughter on a Montreal street daughter
No, he's a really nice guy within the first five minutes of our date
We were already discussing the meaning of life. The mother said that's a huge red flag
Yeah on your first day
In the first five minutes
Yeah, on your first day, they're talking about the meeting of life. But in the first five minutes.
What do you think?
Yeah.
Or just at a nightcap where you walk somebody in their door.
Anyways, what do you think about the meeting of life?
Yeah.
Good night.
Good night.
I don't know.
I wouldn't know how to answer that.
I haven't figured it out, guys.
I would just say no.
I don't want to participate
What do you think it is because you clearly
You know my potential yeah
This last one comes from Gallagher in Chicago. Don't know if it's the Gallagher
So we hope so this was a hospital waiting room.
There was a mean old man hooked up to an oxygen tank
and talking on his phone.
He said, he's smug.
He's got this smug little smile.
I'm gonna kick his ass, little son of a bitch.
But he's a good kid.
We all love him.
Yeah, that smuguggles off a bitch.
Nothing I like better than that's my guy getting that look taken off of his face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Mean old man.
Yeah.
Mean old man has a point.
Yeah.
Oh my lord.
I have the best mean old man story.
When I was a couple of years ago, none of it years ago. Maybe 10 years ago
I was at an audition and I was done that audition and I was heading home
I was taking the bus and it was downtown like Abbott and
Abbot and somewhere which is yeah
And I was unfamiliar at the time and so there's this beautiful man and I would describe him to be like Santa's younger brother.
Okay. Jolly.
Jolly. And he was wearing a sweater and he had a beautiful beard and just a beautiful man.
And he saw me looking confused and he was like, where are you going? I'm going here and this is your bus. Just hang out.
Right. You get on the bus.
We sit. He sits next to me. We talk about life. I call him an actor. He's all like fatherish.
Like make sure you have a plan and all that stuff. Just loving. His wife just died, all that stuff.
And I'm just, and I was so close to be like, hey, do you want to be coffee friends or something?
Like, this is going really well.
This is going really well. And then an elderly Asian woman comes on the bus
and me being a God fefearing Christian I offered my seat
mm-hmm and then this man grabbed my arm so tight
death grip and just told me do not give your seat and just went on some racist
tyrant oh no and I'm just like what just happened and I was just stuck and
shocked and like heartbroken too.
I was about to ask you out.
Yeah.
It was wild.
Oh man.
But funny too.
Well I mean, but it's like, oh boy are you lucky that you got that out of the way.
Right?
Yeah, just like, okay.
Well the meaning of life is never give your seat up.
In addition to numbers that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.
If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
Ugh.
Spypod one like these people have.
Hey, Graham, Dave and stellar guests.
It's Tim calling from Victoria with an overheard or maybe it's a kid's day the darndest. We were in Austin, Texas
a couple months back and at the state capitol there were a bunch of school
groups on the grounds for their spring break trips, spring break field trips and
at one of the groups the teacher is explaining something about one of the
monuments of the grounds and at the end of her spiel she said, any questions? One
of the kids shot up his hand and yeah it it said yeah, I got a question. What's the point of field trips?
Well, I go
What are we doing this?
If I was a teacher it would're like I can't hit a child
Yeah, I I mean when you break it apart is like, oh, what are we?
Question more of a comment this sucks
Okay, I do like the idea of somebody standing up in a crowd,
you know, to address somebody.
Like, yeah, not so much a question, kind of a statement.
This sucks, you suck.
Oh, gosh.
Or like one of those like, you know,
we get a prestigious director showing his film
and people do, they do a Q&A afterwards. But everyone just hates him.
He hates him.
Yeah, I have a question. Why'd you do that? Why'd you make this movie?
There was, years ago I went and saw Ric Flair, the wrestler, kind of like being interviewed on
stage and then they opened it up to the people in the audience.
Everybody was so drunk.
There wasn't a coherent question.
Oh no.
It was just waste.
Can you say woo?
Can you do the woo for us, please?
All right, next phone call.
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
Hi, Dave and Graham and possible guests.
This is Elizabeth in Portland, Oregon. I'm calling
with an overseen. I am on my way home from work driving and there's a Prius in front
of me and it has the following four stickers on its back. One, roll that beautiful bean bean footage to professional toilet hunters.
Wow.
Okay.
Three, due to a wizard's curse,
I am unable to wash this car.
Now those are all on the bumper.
And number four is on the rear windshield,
kind of in the lower left hand corner.
And it's a little Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.
And he's kind of like leaning on one elbow
with his head cocked to the side.
And then in his other hoof, I guess,
he's holding a joint and his eyes are all red.
Cause he's high, I guess.
Okay, bye.
Eeyore.
Yeah.
Bye.
Is it trying on different things, you know?
Yeah, Eeyore's just trying to do the potlifestyle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never, you know? Yeah, you're just trying Potlice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
I've never you know, you've seen Kelvin peeing on things. Yeah
Let's expand the universe of cartoon characters doing their humans
Doing whatever there's sometimes on Facebook marketplace
There's a always seemingly some sort of variant of Bart Simpson that somebody has and one was a very bad drawing,
selling it for like $50.
But it was like, it barely looked like Bart Simpson
and he was all muscle-y.
He was a muscle-y Bart Simpson, so.
And it was just a drawing?
It was a bad drawing.
$50? $50.
$50. No.
It only has to work once, you know?
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, there's a lot of like, Marge, sexualized Marge.
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I mean, there's a lot of like, Marge, sexualized Marge. Oh yeah, oh yeah.
I mean, I told.
You sure?
Here's your final phone call.
Hello Dave, Graham and possible guests.
It is a Madden Kingston calling.
Turn the signal on.
I just drove by a kid and teenage kid on a bicycle
He was wearing a white t-shirt
With big black block letters on the chest that said mom pleaser
Good exit
I First heard that I thought, oh, his mom gave him that.
He pleases his mom.
Yeah, he makes mom happy.
He's a good little boy.
I feel like when I was younger, teenager, I would want a shirt that had something shocking
on it, but now I can't imagine walking out with this shirt where everybody's reading that like weird thing
They've got no I have such an expressive face. I I've done this many times. I'll be like
I don't even like wearing shirts that have something that's inoffensive on them. Yeah the fact that I'm just shirtless all
Can you tell from these rock hard numbers?
Yeah.
On that note,
it is the end of the podcast.
Essay, thank you so much for joining us.
This was so much fun.
Thank you, thank you. This was so much fun.
And do you have anything that you're plugging?
Do you have a regular gig?
Yes, I do have a regular gig.
June 20th, next Thursday.
Oh no, this isn't going to come out until...
It's okay.
July 8th.
Okay, but is that the third Thursday of the month?
The third Thursday of July will be the 18th.
Okay, on July 18th, please, please, please, come to Little Mountain Gallery, 110th Street
for Seasoned Imp improv with myself,
Ronald Dario and Kevin Vidal.
Nice. Yes.
Okay. Yes.
You're in the upstairs, the downstairs?
Downstairs. Yeah.
Downstairs. Salazar.
Ooh, Salazar. Yeah.
Cool, yeah, go check that out.
Please come. It's so funny.
Thank you.
Yeah, it's just a treat to have you.
Aw, thank you so much. Thanks for being our guest.
Thanks for coming. Anytime.
Thank you everybody out there. You know, if you so much. Thanks for coming. Anytime.
And thank you everybody out there.
You know, if you're wearing a t-shirt that's got something really funny on it, I want to
see a picture.
Send it my way.
Especially with some kind of fun twist on Bart Simpson or Peter Griffin.
And come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.