Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 853 - Josh Stubbs

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

Josh Stubbs returns to talk Canadian comedy groups, Hit Man, and the worst gluten-free food.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 853 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graeme Clark. With me as always is a man who loves slipping, he loves sliding, he loves to slip and slide, Mr. Dave Schumpke.

It's true. It's summertime. I've got that summertime slide-ness. Yeah. Do you have the one? Do I? Yeah. You have the ramp up and it's got like a little-

I got them all I actually I kind of Human centipede my slip and slides together so that you end up like half a mile Yeah, you all your crocodile have a mile and then you go slip and slide you do crocodile mile crocodile dentist you do don't wake daddy and then you're Your home and time for dinner. Yeah, no, I never did that. Backyard's too full of rocks. Yeah, yeah.

I remember having a friend who had it. It was great, but it was more fantastic in theory. Oh my God, in theory? Yeah, it's the funnest thing. Yesterday, the kids did it. We were at the pool, and the kids, they had this sort of magic carpet, like basically a slip and slide,

suspended between two parts of the pool. That sounds great. And you run and you slide and you hit the bump, you take a dive. I love it. Oh man, kids have summer, they've got a, they just used to be when we would paint a white fence, we would drift down the river on a little boat.

Yeah, we would use a slur. Yeah, we would take our own death, I think was one of the things we did. I think that I never read any of those books. I know about them from pop culture references. Yeah, the Simpsons and such. I couldn't tell you the difference between Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. Only one of them is a song by Rush. Yeah and Huckleberry Finn? Um, only one of them is a song by Rush. Yeah. Huckleberry Finn, I'm ding-a-ling-doot. Uh, our guest today, a returning guest to the podcast. It's been over ten whole years since he's been here last.

Very hilarious man, so glad to have him back. It's Josh Stubbs, hello. Hello. Welcome back. It's been, it's been a bit. Yeah. It's, uh, man, it's been a bit. Yeah Man, it's like a whole different time. Yeah, remember. We were just like young We didn't know what the future was gonna hold we didn't I mean we boy when I look back now

The summers used to last forever. Yeah, it's true and uh Why oh boy when are the boys of summer when are they coming back? Pretty soon. I don't know. It's, it's hard to die. The other day though, I did see a Cadillac with a dead headstick. It hurt. Yeah.

I mean, they're probably, you're obviously a lot more now. I know for our generation, it would be like, I saw a freaking, uh, you know, LMFAO sticker. generation it would be like I saw a freaking you know imagine dragon sticker on a freaking Tesla I went saw a vampire weekend last weekend but the opening act was Mike Gordon the bassist from fish doing a solo and then a dude walked past us wearing a tie-dye shirt with long hair and he had a flip phone. And I'm like, that guy's just coming down from mushroom trip from 1998 that he's been high since he's like, what year is it? I accidentally followed this guy. Totally. I saw a fish sticker on a Motorola Razr over here.

The little one to get to know us? Yeah. ["Get to Know Us"] Get to know us. Now, you a big Vamp Week fan? I, you know, I, yeah, yeah, I like Vamp Week. I don't. I mean. What era were they, were they were in there with the emo crowd or when did they were they're big

they were post you know post strokes and a prima loan wasn't it their prima loan yeah that's what I call the era before Cheers was on TV the so yeah it was like that like the odds. No, late on, late on, I would say late on. It's probably, yeah, today. Um, what about fish? Are you a fish man? No, I'm not a fish.

Okay. I, I've tried really hard once and it just didn't. How, why did you try? Cause I was like, well, everyone seems to have so much, like it's takes over their life. Like it seems to be a, there's been a couple of things like that where I've tried where I wouldn't like I'm like man If you like these people seem so happy living in this world Yeah, and I'm gonna get into fantasy novels like just things and they just didn't stick like I was like, I don't get it

I don't know what um, yeah, that is like yeah Josh you look like you need some direction We tried getting into jam bands? It's expensive though. It really gives you a reason to live. It seems like it should be like a cheap, like, you know, living out of the back of your car kind of thing, but I think it's expensive

to go to these shows. I think for a long time, that kind of living was left to mostly derelicts. And now with your influence, your culture, there's like, everybody's living in a car or a van. Yeah, that's true. I think they're gonna look really great. They don't show any of the things of like,

haven't had to take a crap in a creek or any of that kind of stuff. That stuff doesn't make the cut. They don't show it. No! They're trying, they're creating an illusion. You have a different algorithm than me. Mine is all creep crap.

I saw at the store today, I was at the store. We'll get to you in a minute. Sure, sure. I was, this is germane to the conversation. I saw a product called Clearlax. Okay, okay. Which is a... I'm interested.

It was in the laxative section. You lost me clear, but you got me back Well, but then I was imagining like does it turn it clear? Nobody has to know yeah Just little bits of glass coming up It does anybody care if it's clear like it. Yeah Perfect for pranks clear like yeah yeah perfect for pranks they'll never know oh is the laxative clear I meant is the poo clear yeah I'm I know that's what you're thinking but I imagine that they're advertising the clear yeah I guess like yeah oh what is

more normal lack that have looked like I've only seen it in like you know police academy and whatnot where they're spiking somebody that's true I remember a white it's like a milky white police academy and whatnot where they're spiking somebody. That's true. I remember. It's usually white. It's like a milky white. Yeah. I remember, well, there's milk of magnesium.

Yeah, there's milk of magnesium. I remember X-LAC's, the commercials used to be, it was like a little chocolate bar. Oh yeah. And I was like, oh, no. Let's do my favorite things. It's not the worst looking thing I saw on TV today. Yeah, it's like when I was a kid, my search for candy had no end, as long as it was something sweet so I could totally see myself as a kid just eating one of those and then bearing down and just staying close to home.

I don't think you need to bear down. Even if it was candy, you didn't like it still. Like, well, it's candy. Like, eating horrible candy like eating horrible candies Not better than not eating my candy. Yeah, my kids won't finish their Halloween candy They'll eat all their favorites from the Halloween candy and then you know mid-november. We've got a bunch of Smarties and Yeah, are they smug about it though like no Well, no, like my my sister would always like I made my Halloween candy last till whatever. I was like, I don't care.

They just don't hold. They just won't touch it anymore. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's just done. They're done with it. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, like, Halloween candy. I'd say that was like a two and a half day.

That was the most amazing thing I kept it around. Just a binge. Yeah, just a crazy binge. Oh, dad, can you put some in my snack for recess? And then I'll eat the rest when I get home. Now, we are drinking cocktail tonight. We're having Moscow Mules. And they're delicious. And they are ginger beer and vodka with a little bit of lime.

But I gave you both bottled ginger beer and my friend made some ginger beer and so it's in my fridge and I'm drinking that. And then as I was pouring it, Josh said, oh, I make ginger beer. Yes. What, tell me about it. Yeah, tell us about it.

No, it's not that exciting. Do you have like an active guy going at home? Not well, not now, but I often make it and I'll keep in the, you keep it a couple days in the like a closet or something where it's kind of dark. And then the entire time my son and my wife are like, what's that disgusting thing you have in there and they hate it. And I'll pull it out to my wife goes, your beverage has a yeast infection. And then she thinks that's the funniest joke.

It's pretty good. What is, it is what it comes glugging out of the. How long have you been doing this? I think two or three years. This is like a kombucha needs a mother. There's nothing that complicated. It's a little bit of yeast and some ginger in it. What do they call it?

The like, there's like a name for the, like the mother or whatever. Horizon maybe? Maybe. The nubbin. Is it the nubbin? Do you do anything else like that? Like, do you make any other living food?

No, no living foods. Okay. No, I've some bread. I like to make a lot of mustard. Oh yeah? What do you make out of that? How do you make that? Just mustard seeds and beer.

Mustard seeds and beer? Yeah. Put some beer in there and then- Vinegar? Vinegar, yeah. You just like put it in a blender or what do you, how do you crush up mortar and pestle? Mortar and pestle sometimes.

Yeah? Sometimes I do the whole grain. Yeah. Nice. But it's a nice, it's got a little more heat to it than just store bought mustard. Most store bought mustard's just turmeric. What do you give it?

How it will get the heat? The mustard itself. The mustard seed itself gives it a little bit of kick to it. And Canada's like, we've got the most mustard seed of any country in the world. Number one place for mustard seed. Weird. Okay, one more question.

That's what keeps us on top. Cause I've done, here's what I've got going on. I've done sourdough. I've got going on. I've done sourdough. I've got a sourdough going in the fridge right now, hanging on. And then I've got, I've done the sauerkraut. The sauerkraut. And that's a trip, but it's, I've stopped doing that

because it's so cheap to just buy sauerkraut. Yeah, yeah. I mean, bread is also cheap, but it's fun, right? It's a fun thing to make. But like, you eat bread all the time. You eat sauerkraut. You get a jar of sauerkraut last through a year. But did it taste better, though?

No. OK. I didn't cut it thin enough. I think I may do it again with like... Like shred it? A mandolin, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You do... Pickled jalap like, like shredded mandolin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You do. Pickled jalapenos. I do a lot. That's that you just jalapenos in Brian. Yeah. Okay. But just on the end it goes on everything.

Like I just put on everything. Are you a chef? You cook. I might know. I liked I yeah, I like to cook but I don't it's not I don't the family receives it as well as I am. I'm more enthusiastic than skilled, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. Are you always trying new things? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anything that you've stumbled upon that you love? Let me think. Anything that you've hated?

Uh. Yeah. Do you get the, what inspires you? I tried to make my own pizza pockets last week from a recipe I saw on TikTok. And it was just a ball of dough. It was disgusting. It was just one of the most terrible things.

Yeah. So that's what, how about you? Are you a- No, I'm very, very poor in the kitchen. Very basic, all the basics and that's about it. Whether we're like you boil, you, we don't talk about you cooking much. No, because I'm the the I'm the guy what cleans mmm, that's

That's the arrangement I have I don't know and I will do that We used to be like, okay if you cook I'll clean but I it doesn't work that way because I clean as I cook Yeah, and I can't I hate having Thinkful additions. Yeah, that's my that, I hate having as a sink full of dishes. Yeah, that's my, that was my grandma's technique. Clean as you go and then it'll, but no, if you have somebody that's gonna clean up after you, you don't have to clean as you go.

All right, you use every utensil in the kitchen if you want. Go for it, yeah, yeah. We do what we do now is just, we take turns cleaning and cooking and whatever. Okay. Like some days you luck out, you luck out and hey, your cleaning day was the day we got takeout sushi. Now, Josh, you were here 10 years ago.

Yeah. You were here four times. I looked up your past. Was it that many times? Cause I was surprised. I was like, okay, well, Josh, Josh has been here a couple times, but yeah, and not, you, and not that long ago,

but you were both that long ago and four times. You were once a year and then persona non grata. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad you lifted the ban. I don't know what I did. That's what I was wondering as well. Did something happen in 2014? No, it was one of those things.

As soon as we had a guest pulled out and I was like, oh yeah We used Josh would be the Tony Randall. That was yes. That was right. I was the Tony Randall So but I think the plan was always that if you couldn't get anybody else I would be the yeah the guest that came in so how far down the list did you get this time that you know? I got it immediately Have a cancellation this time that you finally like I thought of it immediately as soon as the person came in. I thought for sure you were like, huh, what happened when you thought for sure you're like, hey, Jay McKenzie said no.

Oh man, that's a blast from the past. One time he was the guy that stiffed out last time. He was a guest on episode 14 and haven't heard from him since. He has still one of my favorite stories about when he was a guest on episode 14 and haven't heard from him since. He has still one of my favorite stories about when he was a kid and he was stealing money from his mom and then one night they were like, he's like, let's go for dinner. And they're like, no, we don't go.

And he's like, it's on me. And the parents were like, we can't get this money. In our neighborhood, there used to be a restaurant and bar called Beer Craft and it's money. What? In our neighborhood, there used to be a restaurant and bar called Beer Craft and it's closed. And I worry that it's going to be too fancy when it reopens. Yeah, I'm worried about it too. I want a place I can just show up. Yeah.

I don't wanna have to have a reservation. I don't wanna have to spend a million dollars. I had a glass of wine at the other fancy restaurant, the black walnut. Uh huh. Yeah. And it's, it's nice in there. But I, it's also you would have to, you have to, you couldn't just go in shorts. But it's all, I feel like that place is that place used to be the Kino, which was, that was as casual as casual. A, um, uh, what was the kind of dancing they did there? Flamenco.

Yeah, casual a Flamenco restaurant has existed. Did you know that? I knew it was a Flamenco restaurant. Yeah. Or, but I've never, I never went to it. But it had a comedy show forever and ever. That's yeah. Yeah.

It was Flamenco and comedy. Yeah. And they closed. Hard to believe the guy. Well, it was closed. What a great business plan. It was packed on the flamenco nights. Really? Absolutely. Like out the door, because if there's even 30 people in town that like flamenco, that's the only spot they're going. Yeah. And it was, as a comedy show, it had one of the worst policies for the comedians to get

drinks. Which was, just tell the bartender you're a comedian. They didn't have drink tickets? No, I guess not. Because I remember, I'm like, I'm on the show, I think I get a drink, and he said, tell me a joke. And I said, no. Well, no drink for you.

You can wash some dishes if you want to earn a drink. I have something that will not suck itself. The guy who ran it last, he was just a fan of the comedy show that was there. Oh, OK. And then the place was going to shut down, so he bought the place off of the guy that was selling it. And it was going okay. And then pandemic and it was just like. Oh, that's horrible.

Yeah, it was just no way. Couldn't stand it. But am I correct? Cause I stopped doing standup over a decade ago. But am I correct that they then put up just like headshots of all the local comedians in it? Yeah, yeah. I love ashots of all the local comedians in it. Yeah. Yeah.

I love a comedy club with just local comedians. Shots that nobody knows who they are. Nobody cares. It wasn't a comedy club. Or just a restaurant. Yeah, it was just a restaurant that did one night a week. And so here's a photo of- It's the closest we'll ever had to the Friars Club.

Like a restaurant where you go and there's portraits on the wall. Yeah, I once, probably once a year, somebody will text me a picture of a headshot of mine in some club and I know I've still found like people have done that to me and I'm like how old is sad cuz I Even when I did call me I'd look at the wall I'd be like who are these people and I'm like now I'm that guy like I'm just this anonymous guy This is an anonymous guy on the wall. I remember I was at Laughlines once and I was so bored I went around and signed all

the pictures with fake signatures and like just dumb things like that on them. Because I was like, nobody's going to complain. Like, no one knows who these people are or whatever. And I'd be like, thanks for the eight ball this weekend. Like just crazy stuff like that all over. But yeah. There was a, where was it? Somewhere in Toronto or Ontario.

And it was a headshot of Harlan Williams. Must have been his first headshot, like full feathery mullet. Really? He's wearing like an eighties kind of like really thin tie, thin lapel jacket and he's holding a mounds bar. Because that's his opposite haircut. He's known for having a-

High and tight. High and tight, Yeah, very high. Yeah. He's one of our nation's best. And we were the best. He's the Rocket Man himself. He is the Rocket Man. He, oh yeah, there was a book.

Did you ever read the book, the Canadian comedy? Stand and Deliver? Stand and Deliver, yes. And he focused, instead of focusing on Jim Carrey. He, you mean the author? The author. Not Harlan Rolfe. But he could have focused on Jim Carrey. You mean the author? The author. Not Harlan. Not Harlan. But he could have focused on Jim Carrey's rise,

but he focused on Harlan Williams rise, if I'm correct. Yes. He would, it was so random that people, like it's like he just sort of chose a couple Canadian comedians and tried to make a narrative through it. And then, yeah. Cause they'd be like, and then this one guy

in World War I told a joke and then that was like to be a whole chapter on it I was like I've never heard of this guy no one cares but Mac Senate was Canadian. Can I Google something in front of you because I remember okay do you remember Jim Carrey did a stand-up special that was like a Canadian stand-up special. Oh yeah he wore a multicolored shirt. He wore a multicolored shirt he did had like little skits in between my favorite was the one where he's in the produce section. Yes I remember the produce section. He wore a multicolored shirt. He wore a multicolored shirt. He did, had like little skits in between. My favorite was the one where he's in the produce section. Yes, I remember the produce section one.

He goes, he eats a cherry, you know, steals a cherry. He steals a grape, has a little bite. He takes a half a watermelon and rubs his face, bites, eats the whole thing. Yeah, and I was on a stand-up special that never aired anywhere. And the guy that produced it was like, we'll do this and there'll be sketches in between. And we got a special sketch with Jim Carrey. Yeah, and I was on a stand-up special that never aired anywhere. And the guy that produced it was like, we'll do this and there'll be sketches in between. And we got a special sketch with Jim Carrey. And I was like, you got Jim Carrey to be in this?

He was somehow involved in that early special. So he'd be like, they played it. And then all of a sudden, like a jarringly young Jim Carrey he came in and just did that sketch with the watermelon. And I was like, oh, you're trying to act like this is a new thing. And this is from like 50 years ago. And like, what if just grainy, like nothing matched? I was like, you're trying to sell this on a gym as a gym carry special.

He's going to be on the cover. Yeah. There's a, yeah. My experience in Canadian broadcasting has been, we have this old tape, we can use it forever, and no one's gonna know. But I remember recently looking up the Jim Carrey polo shirt, that multicolored polo shirt. It's how many colors? It's five different colors? I think it's, okay, it's at least four.

I think they repeat. But it's four panels on the front and then one panel on each sleeve. Just Google Jim Carrey polo shirt. Yeah. And okay, someone on Reddit got the shirt, an R slash vintage fashion. I thought it was for sale somewhere. Oh, it's on AliExpress. Oh, I've got an Ali.

Was it listed as the Jim Carrey shirt? I mean. I mean, look. What else can you do? I've got an alley. Was it listed as the Jim Carrey shirt? I mean. I mean, look. What else can you do? I mean, that kid looks like Jim Carrey in that photo. You don't see the head. Anyway, I was wondering if it was for sale, but I think it's that same producer.

He's like, I got the shirt. I got the shirt. I'm gonna milk in this for everything I can. Anyway, it's a great shirt. Iconic Canadian comedy shirt. There was a movie that came out after Jim Carrey like blew up and it was called... Cooper's Mountain. No, that was that the skiing one?

Yeah. Yeah, that's another one I think of, but that is also one that got repackaged as starring Jim Carrey. Yeah, yeah. There was one, it was called... Introducing Janet was the name of the actual film and they repackaged it as Rubberface. That's right.

Uh-huh. Yeah, and it was just like a kind of like him being silly, kind of a romantic comedy, cheapo cheapo movie. Yes. Yeah, and then they repackaged it as Jim Carrey. What was the one? And I remember he wasn't even like the, he was like a friend of the guy

that was the comedian in it or something. Like he he wasn't he wouldn't have a big part in it Yeah, it was one of those kind of sad Imagine the person probably made there was this movie with Craig Bierko and Amy Brennan And it was called the suburbs, oh it also had Jennifer love you it and will ferrell Hewitt and Will Ferrell. Oh, well, briefly in it and he's on the cover. I watched a movie the other night based on the fact that the cover had Martin Freeman on it.

Oh, yeah. The suburban. Sorry. Oh, the suburbs. You say you will say again. I was going to watch. I watched a movie because the poster of it had Martin Freeman on it. Right. That's the guy from Lord of the Rings. Or or uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know you mean He's in it for 20 minutes, but you were gonna watch a movie because Martin Freeman No, I thought it was like this will be good because he's he's not in. Oh sure. He roll movies in the office. He's in

He was Sherlock. He was in Sherlock. He was in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy He did a lot that guy and he was in this movie. I watched he is because because we've made fun of John Krasinski for being Jim and then and then becoming a Hollywood power player. Yeah, he Martin Freeman started as Tim. Yeah, and he stayed in that kind kind of exactly like relatable. Yeah, we like him or man Yeah, I'm not for the John Krasinski, but I guess hero man better or the imagination of him Mmm better works better the other way than if like I'd rather have it be that I was You know a small part in a movie and then they sell it as like hey this guy was in it and the only one if I'm a small part X I movie and then they sell it as like, hey, this guy was in it and you only want to have a small part.

I know other people that are like, they have one line in a movie and then they're like, you might know me from such and such. And you're like, during the chase scene, it runs past me, I have a sandwich, I go, hey. And then like that's the whole line and that's their credit to life. Yeah, or like, yeah, especially with stand up is like, oh yeah, he's from this movie, but it's not a funny movie. Yeah, he's not funny in it. There's a guy that went to my high school

and it was on a Facebook page, it was like notable graduates, and he's one of them, and he's in The Dark Knight, and I was like, what? And so I rewatched The Dark Knight, and he is, he's one of the guys on the fairies that they're Trying or they're gonna blow each other out. Oh, yeah, and he's one of the guys and he's like he says like hand that here Do that like he just said one line, but I was like he is in it. He's in it

I mean that Joker is so chaotic. It's like he doesn't care I can't I can't with this Joker anymore. I'm like a freaking Joker man It's all drama with this guy. He's making us look the fool He's the guy We were talking. Oh, we're talking on a bonus episode about the movie spawn. Oh, yeah And we were like hey that guy from spawn ever do anything else. He's in the Dark Knight. Oh, that's right Yeah Spawn ever do anything else? He's in The Dark Knight? Oh, that's right, yeah. Or is it who? Yeah, he's Spawn.

Oh no, sorry, I was. For a second I thought John Leguizamo was Spawn, and I'm like, no, he was the villain. He was bad climbing. And then I was like, I was gonna be like, that would be a terrible Spawn. John Leguizamo. Have you ever seen any of the movie

that I think came out on the heels of Jim Carey's success and there was like same cover art as maybe the mask but it was called the pest yeah it's Charlie it was his like breakout have you seen it no wolf was it is like he had like a one-person show yeah is it that no he's one person show is kind of like, people from my neighborhood. Yeah. Like, there it goes.

He's been here since 1922. I feel like this is a strange episode because we can like, you know, riff on whatever, but Josh, tell us about your one-person show. Yeah. I'm so glad you asked. It's... Tell us about the people in your neighborhood.

It's about my childhood, starting off with... It's the story of my grandfather. It used to be my favorite trope was the one-person show that started with, oh, hi, like that you didn't notice the audience is there. I would be doing this anyway. Oh, hey. Yeah. Yeah.

The thought of doing a one person show just seems horrible to me. I've seen so many of them too. Yeah, the thought of seeing a one person show. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I think I've told the story of this one person show. I was chatting with the guy outside of the venue. And I was like, Oh yeah, I'll come see your show sometime.

And he said, well, it's starting in 10 minutes. And I was like, oh yeah, I'll come see your show sometime. And he said, well it's starting in 10 minutes. And I was like, oh, okay, I guess. He's like, can you come now? And I was like, yeah, yeah, I can come now. Like I was just caught so off guard. So I was like, yeah, okay. I go in, there's only a seat in the front row. And I'm like, okay, sitting in the front row for this guy's show.

Whoa, so he needed you to see the show that's almost sold out? Well, I think it must have been a lot of flyer in the row for this guy's show. Whoa, so he needs you to see the show that's almost sold out? Well, I think it must have been a lot of flyer in the room because this guy's show starts out and I'm like, okay, it's a one person show. Uh-oh, he's pulling out a puppet. Uh-oh, it's a musical. Oh shit. I was in front so I couldn't get up and leave.

So I had to just let the show happen to me. I remember a guy, So I couldn't get up and leave so I had to just let the show happen to me. I remember a guy Don't want to name the Canadian comedy group he was part of But he was doing a one-person show and he was like Flyering and I walked up and I was like, oh, I love your comedy group Say that but I was like I can't Yeah, I like walked away and I was like, but oh, and he was not impressed that I liked,

but I'm such a big fan of. Oh, I remember those guys. Well, I believed it. There was a group from Canada called the Imponderables. Do you remember the Imponderables? Oh, yeah. Their look was that they all wore black button-up shirts with different color ties. That was their brand.

They all wore the four panels and carry pull-up. But I remember filming a special on the same day they were filming their special, and one of the guys had a As a joke had a tramp stamp tattoo and I thought that was so funny because he wasn't showing it off either He reached for something. I was like, oh my god That's good. That is pretty good. Yeah, they were really funny And I just thought about them the other day and I watched the videos. They're still funny Yeah, I dug up a bunch of vacant lot

And I was like couldn't sorry I They weren't that funny, but it looked so great It was the only thing yeah, it was just so filmed so well that I was like who directed this I don't know they can Was that the blinded by the light sketch? Yes, that was a sketch. That's the best. Yeah. Yeah, what would describe it? It's guys playing poker, I think. Yeah. And one of them starts singing the song

blinded by a light. And the guy next to him was like, those aren't the lyrics. And then they're all getting them increasingly more wrong. And it just keeps getting funnier and funnier. And then they just get mad at him. And he gets mad and goes, that's not right. And whatever he gets in the real lyrics and leaves.

And the other guy goes, he was a little hot under the colander and then that's Man there's a ton of Canadian comedy groups that have like two great hilarious things. Yeah. I mean I'm looking at you Frickin four on the floor Yeah, I'm looking at you quirky in the juice pigs working the juice pigs were great There was of course picnic face was a Seminal group of course truth horse Truth horse. Oh, yeah, I remember true the one where he's describing

the different... It's like, it's a sketch about... Sorry, listener, this is horrible. A sketch about snowmobiling and he's talking about different... Like going out on the ice on your snowmobile and he's talking about different thicknesses of ice and he on your snowmobile and he's talking about different thicknesses of ice and he just refers to well you get this and this and then you get into the that so yeah radio free vestibule yeah three trolls in a baggy three dead trolls in a baggy I'm sure there's lots of the arrogant worms. Oh Google any of these and you're gonna find a fun sketch

Which was was four on the floor was mr. Canoehead. Yeah, mr. Canoehead and boot to the head I'm a lot of head related stuff. Yeah. Yeah, and then what was radio free vestibules? They had the The grunge song the grunge song.. Oh yeah, I vaguely remember that. This is the part of the song that's really quiet. Yeah. It was fun. All these are fun. And they had a good like, how to apply to a job, how to apply to a French speaking job in Quebec

if you only speak English. And it was just talk with a French accent and, and of course I mean like, the Air Force laid a lot of the groundwork Double exposure could take a lot of credit. Yeah chicken cannon was the big That's how they translated from radio to television as they gave birth to the yeah I guess the chicken cannon didn't work that well in the radio. They tried but there is is

I know lube ago is still with Dead but Sean proud love because I used to be roommates with Sean Brown Yes, and he hated air far so much or any hated lube ago way with a passion And then I came in the room once and he was watching it like hate watching it by himself Angry about it and he goes say it's sweating his pants for a day. Angry about it. And he goes, I walked in and he's like, Lubigoi sounds like an ingredient of a gummy bear. I remember in my school library, Shumka is a Ukrainian name.

And there was a book on like famous Ukrainian Canadians. Mm-hmm. There was a There go you make the list there was Luba Goy on the list Wayne Gretzky was there. Oh, yeah. I who was in my church Really? Yeah, was he else in the Dark Knight? He was a very good volleyball player apparently There weren't too many Rem many remarkable Ukrainian Canadians at the time I guess. It was a small book, short read. Lots of glossy photos. He was Lubigoy meeting. She probably met the Queen.

Yeah, probably. Yeah, both of those started as a radio show. That and Double Exposure. That was CBC's whole comedy slate, if I recall correctly. Yeah, you would get the two of them and then it would be followed by Murray McLaughlin with Swinging on a Star, country music show. Really? Yeah.

Oh, wow. I never made it past, I liked Double Exposure. I was always a Double Exposure guy over Royal Canadian. I mean, I didn't like it. I mean, it's not that I made it past them and kept listening. It's just that we were in the car on a Saturday. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it was funny to listen to as a kid because they were doing parodies of like John Major or something, you're like, I don't know who the hell is, but it's a funny voice he's doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, Preston Manning, the one they did. This was for the non-Canadian and non-old listener. Yeah.

On CBC on Saturday afternoons, you would hear two very similar shows. Yeah, political comedy shows. Political comedy shows that played sketches about the days. But they weren't political comedy, but they seem to take no political stance. There was no, they were just like, what if Stockwell Day was? That broadband seems quite friendly. Yeah.

What if he was in Casablanca? But no statement about the horrible things they were doing to the country. Yeah. What was that guy's name they he just said? Stockwell Day. Stockwell Day, he was the guy that jet skied up to the, yeah, yeah, people don't know. His thing that he thought was so cool was he had a press conference on a pier.

Yeah, yeah. And it was the lectern there and then he like, He showed up in a wetsuit. And then did a press conference in a wetsuit and he, but you could tell he was like, this is perfect. Yeah. And then he rolled up and he was all cool. And then some guy was like, so you don't believe in dinosaurs?

And he was like, oh, okay. All right, you got me. Just gets right back. Wrong duck, I guess. Oh man, what a cool guy. Yeah, so it's been a decade. Bring it up to speed. What's happening?

Trying to get the wheels rolling. What's happening in Canadian comedy the last decade? This is how old it is since I've been on that you guys are like, well, bring him on. You'll talk about double exploiter. Bob Robertson, Linda Cullen, he's no longer with us. She's still with us. Okay. Yeah, what, now you're a technical writer.

Yeah, yeah. Or you have training as a technical writer. Yeah, yeah. Now for people who've listen to the podcast before My thing that I do because I never want to say I'm a comedian ever even if somebody's like I've seen you I'm like, I don't do that Because I don't want to I don't want to hear joke. I don't want to hear about your favorite comedian Yeah, I don't want to talk about what it's like to be a comedian

Yeah, what I usually say if I'm in a cab and people like what do you do for a living? Well, I'm trying to track down the one armed man who killed my wife. Hey, I got an eye gun someplace you wanna see. So I say I'm a technical writer, which is an interesting sounding position, but nobody follows up any questions with it. So I don't actually have to know what it is.

It's the once that happened, isn't it? Yeah, at my physiotherapy, she was like, so how's it going on technical writing? He was like, Oh, boy. Here we go. I'm gonna improv for an hour. Yeah, it's a safe one. You're never gonna I love things like that, where you know, you can just end a conversation with it. Like, I had a ukulele once it was in a case that I got in an elevator. And this guy was

obviously very drunk in the elevator and then he goes It's not a Tommy gun in there and I go no, it's a ukulele. He's like, that's the perfect cover Because no one's gonna ask you to open up that you can play a song Always stuck with me Just get scorched on the elevator. Yeah. Yeah But is am I right in saying that it is trying to like write directions or instructions or trying to turn complicated things into regular people speak? Yeah, yeah, basically, so like if you bought like a iPod

or something like that and it had the manual for it, the technical writer would have written the manual for it. So yeah, so I write that kind of stuff all the time. So yeah. And that's what I said that it is. And then they've said like, what? And I'd be like, oh, you know, if you buy a swing set, you have to put it together.

Oh, tell me about that. What are the main steps? Yeah, actually, I didn't get it in the swing set. Can I do alarm clock? But yeah, actually I didn't get it in the swing set of Canada. Do alarm clock. But yeah, she was so fascinated by it. And the fact that you remember it too. Yeah, yeah, you will find the odd person that is fascinated by it.

Yeah, and they're usually, something's wrong with them. Yeah, totally, totally. I've also been at parties where I don't know anybody there. Sometimes a wedding where you don't know anybody and I'll switch stories every other person that I talk to. That's fun. As to what your- What I do.

What are your backup ones other than tech writers? I said that I'm a PE teacher. Oh, what's new in dodge ball? Oh man, we got new rules, but we always go faster balls. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Less the gripping is like- Oh, the grip is good.

The gripping is better than before. Oh, okay. Yeah yeah cuz it used to be that cross hatch kind of now is like kind of like W okay now do a different job okay now I'm I'm an on-site triage paramedic oh my they just do triage yeah I just do triage you get there and you're like okay you I'll you wait over here another paramedic is coming who can handle the fact that you're dead Like me you're hard to stop. I'm not the guy who does the thing. I'm the guy who directs them Mm-hmm do the thing so that's uh, what's the worst thing ever saw? Oh Guy got chainsaw to face. It was awful. Yeah, do you live? Yeah, no, and we had to turn off the chainsaw is still on It was a danger to all of us

They I could just go and go and go. Oh my god. Are you did you get like PTSD? Nope Strangely, no, I feel like he might have the guy with the old chainsaw in the face. Okay But yeah, see he's that easy good, but my my other job that you were always interested in was the security guard. Yes! I gave that up recently because it was too much of a demand on my time. Now tell how this all works because this is amazing. Well my wife was an educational assistant for the school board. She doesn't do that anymore. Okay.

But she got that job and then she was like, I have summers off. So she didn't and she's like, she loved it. She's so excited because she's like, this is like when you're a kid and you have a summer job and you get this fun, pointless job every summer. So she's like, I got to do something for the two months when I'm there. So then someone told her, well, I get a job as a security guard and you go to these concerts for free and be a

security guard there. So she went in and then they were like, we, she sold her immediately on this side. Basically the interview was just them saying, do you want this job? Why should we give it to you? And she said, I really love Paul Blart. And they went, so do we. And then the guy laughed really hard. So true. And then she was like, can my husband have the job too? And they said, sure. So then she came home and she was like, I got

your job as a security guard. And I was like, I have a job like in an office. Like, like I can't show up with a black eye tomorrow work for this. And then she was like I have a job like in an office like is like I can't show with a black eye tomorrow work For this and then she was like where she was well The first just do it for one show and I watch what show was it? She was it's Paul McCartney and you'll get it for free and I was like sounds great cuz like well It's actually Paul McCartney Paul McCartney. Yes. That's right. It's all Well, and then so then I went and I was like because the first time I last time in Paul had been to town before That I saw him and my tickets were so bad

Like I yeah, I said I had a better view of John and George from It so I was like, yes, I go Sent us there they go you'll be front row when I went that's amazing And then they sent me I'm not in front row like I'm in front of the front row So yeah, I have the best seat in the house. We were there and then they sent me, I'm not in front row, like I'm in front of the front row. So I have the best seat in the house. We were there. And then they sent me to the sound check. So it was just him doing the sound check for like us security guards.

And then I was like, I am 100% into being a security guard. I will do this nonstop. So I went to all bunch of, oh, one thing I say about Paul McCartney, Dave, when I listen to the show, sometimes you'll talk about the Beatles. Yeah. And I never feel more seen

than when your views about the Beatles reflect my views. So I connect with you so much about- In what way? I don't remember my views. One, you'd never found them interesting until they had mustaches. Okay. Oh, sure. Yeah, they're musically. I don't think they're,

I don't really like they're like boogie woogie. And that's the other thing I was gonna say was like, you, like 30% of it you hate, but you love the% that's on the same thing. I'm like a huge fan, but yeah There's songs I can't stand. Oh sure and even in the later stuff, which I only like the later stuff I'm like, come on George. We don't need sitar We know you bought a sitar. Yeah. Okay, Paul you you love love. Yeah. Yeah. We got a Tommy gun in there. But I was gonna say you guys talk about war a lot. One of the best shows I did was I was the front of stage security for a war show. Yes. Which that you've not lived. You've done that. You've not died. Oh, it's just blood was sprayed down the back of I couldn't get the orange off me for like two days.

It was absolutely insane. And it was the best because it was it was just ever COVID. So you stole it was still that time where you had to like, you can say seated. Right. It was absolutely insane and it was the best because it was it was just ever COVID So you stole it was still that time where you had to like you as a seated right? It was always like this shot with Spaces in between like you couldn't Everyone everyone had to have a space around those and I was like this is gonna suck But it was the best because the Gwar is just like remain seated filthy humans do not stand Get to wear masks and he's like cover your disgusting human face and I was like, oh, this is the best Rule there. Yeah, what was the venue for that? Just in the vogue the boat? Yeah, and that cannibal corpse opened which Which I never like I don't always heard their name as a punchline, but I never

really saw it. Yeah, they're a very scary sounding band. Yeah. No, they're very pleasant middle-aged English guys, and they'd be like, uh, thank you, our next song is called, you just started screaming. See, popping the laws into it. Yeah, I can't do that. Yeah, is there like a favorite favorite?

Or what was the worst thing that you had to work security for? Worst show, worst show. Worst show, like where you're like, people pay money. Do you get to pick and choose and they're like, you're on a roster? Yeah, I would pick and choose and then eventually they changed that format. So that's why I had to leave, actually.

Trying to think of the worst one. One night it was, I didn't, I thought- Did you ever have to do, sorry to interrupt, man. No, go ahead. No, no, ask away. I want, like, did you ever have to, was the job ever not just standing there and listening to music? Did you ever have to do security?

Yeah, very few times. A really drunk guy screamed at Lewis Black and I had to like throw him out, which was super weird. So sorry. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's, well, Nikki, my favorite, because my wife did also, and then it was Joey Badass, the rapper. Okay.

Oh yeah. So, and she was all excited because it was her first big rap show that Nikki was going to do. So they were like, you got to pat everybody. And all the guys, it was kind of fun because everybody that worked there, 90% of them were like Indian exchange students who were like on a student visa.

So they had no cultural reference of who anybody was. So they would literally not even know if it was a comedian or a band. So every night, like the night of Guar, they were like, what the hell was this? So there was like, they had no idea what they're going into every single night. But then I did notice a subtle thing that

if it was a rapper, then they would say that there was, we had to pat everybody down and check for weapons and it was gonna be violent. And slowly a lot of the rappers were also jazz musicians. And also there was just one consistent thing about their appearance that seems that put them into that. So anyway, despite his name, the Lewis Black fans didn't get mad at him. Exactly.

I got it. I got it. Yeah, yeah. So then- The Barry White fans. Yes, exactly. They just let him walk right in. So at Joy Badass, they were like, you got to pat him all down.

And so Nikki was like, and she's patting it right down, but it wasn't the summer. And then she realized that it was like, she just kept patting people's bare legs because they were all wearing shorts. She's like, well, there's nothing hidden there. So she's like, I'm just going to check there and check the back of this person's shirt. And she's like, what's in here?

And then she reached out and she pulled out this big, huge cucumber. And she goes, well, she's like, she goes, oh, you have to bring this cucumber in. And Nikki's like, because she's super laid back. She's like, you do you, I don't care, right? And then she was like, we're talking to the lobby. And she's like here, bring this cucumber in and Nikki's like cuz she's super laid-back. She's like you do you I don't care Right, and then she's like we're talking to the lobby and she's like some brought this cucumber in I don't know why they would do that

And then she was like wait a second and then literally ten seconds later from the stage we hear this was our fucking cucumber So some brought a cucumber to throw a joy bad ass So some brought a cucumber to throw a joy bad ass So that was entertaining Oh and the zombies I was super excited to see them Like the 60s from the 60s. Yeah Well, they did Odyssey and Oracle was like a big concept album. They did that was kind of next. So I, but I'm always been a fan of them. And I was like, I can't wait to see them.

This guy, Colin Blundstone, he did a singer. He does so long called this year. That's what I really loved. So I was like super excited to see them. And then we got there and they are like 110 years old. They're like the oldest little time. Cause they would have been popular in the 60s. They were little.

So yeah. And the guy he's just a trick, frail. And it was the middle of the summer. It was so hot, the Commodore. And he came in and he was like- They weren't the Commodore? Yeah, and he was like, and he was like, it's so cold in here.

And we were like, just sweating. And we were like, what? And he was like, turn off the air conditioning. He made everybody turn off the air conditioning. And it was all, and then they brought him a parka and he was still sitting there going, I'm gonna die. So they brought him a thing ofa and he was still sitting there going I'm gonna die So they brought him a thing of soup and he was just eating this soup I was like, oh my god, and everyone's just sweating so he does the show and then they're at the show and he's like Because a lot of people don't realize this the zombies started we had an original bassist. His name was David

But then he quit and he came to Canada and he became a doctor And I'm proud to say that David's here tonight and then this spotlight swung over to the booth and this guy was full on asleep. I do like, I get hot, I overheat and I, like, sometimes I see an old man in the middle of summer in like a sweater and I'm like, oh, I can't wait. You can't wait until I'm cold. Until you're cold all the time. Yeah, yeah.

I'm just trying to, like, what is the zombie song I know? Time of the season. Probably that. She's not there. Oh yeah, that's right. This will be our year. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah.

That's... What was the lead singer of the Bluntstone song? Call him Bluntstone? Yeah. He did an album called This Year. Okay, not This Will Be Our Year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they like a band where it's just the one guy?

Or is it actually like the zombies lineup? There's three left, I think. Oh, shit. Yeah, so there's more than I would think, but then it's, but the guys, the new guys are definitely the new guys. Yeah. They don't even hide. Yeah, like when I go to a casino, do a casino show, there'd always be like the Temptations and it'd be one guy,

you know, and then six other brand new... Six hundred and thirty year olds, yeah. My mother-in-law is Scottish and she was like, oh, she's like, you like the music. She's like, you got to go down to the Muckleshoot Casino. She's like, the Who's playing? And I was like, the Who? And she's like, the Who's playing there? And I was like, I don't think it's the Who with the casino. And she's like, I, Roger Daltrey, am the Who.

And then she came back, it's like, oh, it's the gas here. But we just went to the silver reef two weeks ago across the border. Yeah. And so more stay in the time. And that was absolutely fantastic. They're amazing. Oh, I love to see them live. And it was I know it was like we were we just we literally do the dance. He did the dance. I mean, he was so incredible.

He was so great. But we because we looked him up and we're trying to see what he was doing. And we're like, oh, he's actually playing like an hour and a half from here. So we got the tickets last minute and went. Yeah. And then we got there and then we're like, so where's the theater at that they're playing? They're like, oh, there's no theater. It's at the event center.

We walked in. It was like a, like a conference room that they would have. Really? It was so, it was like a real estate seminar. We've podcasted from places like that. We've done live podcasts. I saw coming, not the Muckleshoot casino, but the Tulalip casino this summer. I'm considering going to see Better Than Ezra.

Why not? Tonic. Oh, this is on the show? And Sugar Ray. Oh, Sugar Ray. Okay, I'd go just for Sugar Ray. I don't like Sugar Ray. Tonic and this is all my show and sugar ray. Yeah What's the gag on Jay Leno whether it was They were announcing the Knights lineup and they were like on our musical guest better than Ezra and then it zoomed in on an Old guy and they're like, what's wrong with you? He's like, my name is Ezra. I was like, this is probably the best

This is the high level Yeah, yeah. There's a great, good Norm MacDonald. Better than Ezra? Yeah, better like, with a number two single this summer, better than Ezra, the number one signal. Fuck.

Single, Ezra, okay. Okay. Just Google, Norm MacDonald, better than Ezra joke. Google, Jim Carrey polo shirt. Yeah, yeah, okay. Okay. Google just Google, Noah MacDonald better than Ezra joke. Google Jim Carrey polo shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that's the Jim Carrey special where he does the St. Bernard as well, right? I don't know. Drinks the water and just like, oh, yeah, that was all.

I know he does a he does a an impression of Clint Eastwood just his face. Yeah. And then he's like, then what does he do as an impression of someone Eastwood just his face. Yeah, and then he's like then what does he do an impression of someone like? Jack Nicholson, and it's the same face and he's like what if that's all I did Peggy Lee and then it is the same face figure skating And then he goes I'm gonna take it way back and he flips backwards and falls down It's good. He did James Dean. He could do James with his face That's good. He did James Dean. He could do James Dean just with his face. He didn't do that.

Fuck, that guy is so good. James Dean would be hard to do the voice though. Like I don't know what he sounds like really. I just know that line. You're tearing me apart. That's the only James Dean line I know. Obsessed with him when I was a teenager. I was too, yeah. And look how you turned out. I lived fast, I died young, and I left the... Sparkling looking corpse. Oh my god. Yeah, the only. I am James. I lived fast. I died young and I left

Sparkly look. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, the only line of James Dean's I remember is like I'm a rebel but why Cause about it Have you tried jam bands Dave what's going on? Okay, not my? Okay, now my- Billishin. Okay, here's, look, we're pre-taping a bunch. I've run out of things to talk about. Wait till you see what I have to talk about. Here's a fun thing I saw today.

You know, when you go to push the button across the street? Yeah. Do you use your hand? Or do you use your- I'll use my elbow, or if I think that the elbow didn't read I'll go and touch it with the Fickner. Because those buttons for crossing the street are copper so they're made that's anti-microbial. Oh okay good.

You can just use your hand and you're fine. Okay. Today I saw a guy use his knee. Cool. He's like doing parkour. It's like get around your city in interesting ways. Yeah. So that was one thing.

That's awesome. Abby's Aunt Sheila and her family are coming to stay with us. Everybody's favorite aunt, Aunt Sheila. And so I- All the way from? Sweden. And so I, today I went to greet them. I got a bunch of, like I bought a bunch of

Candy at the candy store. Oh, yeah, I went to snack land where they have like Just the best out-of-town snacks, you know snack land. Oh, I love snack land. What's your favorite like foreign candy? You can get there Well, just don't take a dark licorice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I had a hundred grand. That's my favorite. Oh, yeah. What's in that? Krispies and caramel and chocolate. Do you remember those, whatchamacallit?

Yes. Right? And there was a- No, no, no. When it first came out- Graham, come on, play along. Oh, yeah, what is it? I might, but what is it?

When it first came out, it didn't have a name. And there was a contest to come up with the name of the candy bar. Oh. And Watchamacallit was the winner. But I lived with Sean Proudly over the time. He filled out the form of weird Reese's products. Like they have Reese's peanut butter cups with pretzels in them or with potato chips

in them. And so they had a wall of Reese's peanut butter cups and the woman behind the counter, English was her second language, but she was perfectly good at it. And she said, oh, we have more over here. Check over there. They have the most popular of those is the nutrigenius. I was like, excuse me? I says pardon?

Pardon? And then I just lose it. And she goes, nutrigenius. And I'm like, what? That's the third one there. And it was not rages. Not rages. And I was like, wow, that must be so hard to like, learn English.

And then you also have to learn what the Reese's corporation came up with. Yeah, they've like mangled the word so much that if you knew the word, yeah, God help anybody trying to. It's got to be the like the hardest language to learn, right? I don't know. Maybe Russian's pretty hard. People say that about English, but I don't know. I know it.

Well, no, it's just like there's none of that weird like Mr. Chair meet Madam Table. Yeah. Which is like, I learned French. But like, if I had to speak French, I would not remember the genders of any of the brands. Yeah. I know a house is female. Yeah. This is, oh, okay. Did you drop a little bit of the champ there for a second? Yeah.

We had, yeah. Matt Kelly. Matt Kelly was on. We were doing it ad nauseam, which was you remember it? I worked at a I was Hiring at a company and his son applied the champs run bro, Jake son bro, Jake son, Jake and then he was like, oh I have this and he had a Something on his resume or something referred to and then he was like he was my father and I went he actually applied here

Too and he was like no one is like he there's no way he applied here and I went yeah he came in and I said I have an opening you can fill and then he did not find it funny at all. Ever since I've been the champ. I said pardon? And the other thing that's going on with me, so we live, we talked about some of the neighborhood businesses. Yeah.

You're the place you went and got a drink. What was that place called? The Black Walnut. I haven't been there. It seems like it's just like a steakhouse. Yeah, there's nothing there for me except the glass of wine. Yeah. And then, but there's a movie theater in our neighborhood, the park.

And it's, I, well, I was gonna say, I'll see anything there, but Dune played for 10 weeks. Yeah, I was gonna say it was Dune, and then Dune's streak was only upset by if. Yeah, Imaginary Friends, from the imagination of John Krasinski. We saw that there. And then after that, what's currently playing is Hitman. Now, do you know anything about Hitman?

I've heard it's very good. Let me disabuse you of that notion. Well, before you... Thank you so much. The one thing about it is the poster of it. I don't know anything about the movie, but the poster, it looks just like Chris Wilson. Past guest Chris Wilson wearing a pair of sunglasses.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's Glenn Powell, a movie star who sprung up overnight. Yeah. Oh yeah, it's the one that Hollywood's like, we all agree that this guy's a movie star? Yeah. Yeah. And he's in the new sequel, Twisters. He was in Top Gun.

He was apparently in Dark Knight, I believe. He gets roughed up by one of the bad guys. Cool. And he's in that Sidney Sweeney romantic comedy. Anybody but you? Yep. Anyone but you? Anybody but you.

Anyway, so I- She's gonna be in the remake of Barber Elm. Okay, okay, okay. I've ruined my childhood. Was Barbarella your favorite show? Yeah. Dave's parents would leave him home on a Friday night, Bob and Barbarella, he's not going anywhere.

Oh, she's going to see Duran Duran, but not the band. So I- You went and saw this one. I went to see Durand-Durand but not the band. So I... You went and saw this. I went to see this film. This is a solo venture? Solo venture. Okay, yeah. You didn't bring the kids? So it's Hitman. It's Glenn Powell in Hitman.

And what could you tell me? What's your idea of this movie? He's a guy who makes hits like... So that's what I think it's about it's about a hitman it's about a guy I thought it was like an action movie Right, because you would think hitman. Yeah, it's not an action movie. He's a guy. It's based on a true story. He's a guy who Goes undercover when someone wants to hire a hitman they who goes undercover. When someone wants to hire a hit man, they are usually stupid.

And they hire someone who is an undercover cop and it's him. Oh, I see. And he wears a wire. And then at one point he falls in love with this woman who's trying to kill her husband. Is this part of the true story though? I don't think so.

Yeah, okay. The true story is that this was this guy's job. This guy existed. And he's like a nerd, but he's a handsome nerd. And so that's the rest of the movies, this romantic thing between these two. And they're very good looking people. Yeah, I like that about movies.

Cause hitmen don't really exist. That's the conceit. Yeah. That you and maybe they do in like the mafia, but you can't just like hire a hit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I also the assassins are the other things in movies that we see like these, these, these assassins, you can just hire to go kill a politician or something. And they're, they're so good at their job and they have a thousand gadgets and stuff. And I can't believe how long I thought that was real. And then also one day I'm like, you can't, like there's not that many assassinations that you could flesh out a 52 week income.

Like when was the last assassination I saw? Yet somehow these guys are so ready to go. And the ones that are, like the assassinations that do happen, it's usually like a guy they catch right away. It's not like a guy who disappears into the night. It's not the jackal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also like-

Like who's screwing together a gun. Totally, it's a guy who's heard voices and doesn't know what he's talking about. Yeah, it wasn't one of them where like they put, I can't remember what movie it was, like a thread and then did drops down the thread that were poisoned and landed in the guy's mouth, but one of them hit his eye and then woke him up. What movie was that? I don't know. Anyways, it was, I was like wow. That sounds awesome. Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah, yeah. I always think like, you know those movies where they're like, it was a Navy SEAL, and then he's gone off and retired.

I was like, why did you just kill that guy? Like he's sure he's going to come back and he's going to bite you in the ass, make you this perfect killer. He was rude when he sent you away. Like he was sure he was angry. Anyway, so this guy, anyway, I'm not going to spoil the ending of this movie, but I did not like it. And the hit man.

But they get together? Oh, they get together. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say that's, don't spoil that ending of this movie, but I did not like it and The hitman but they get together. Oh they get together. Yeah. Yeah, that's don't spoil that ending for me. That's the middle Oh, okay. Yeah, and then there's complications shit and anyway, so it sucks and I could never make you could never make we could never make a movie I could never co-write a movie with Richard Linklater that he then makes. It's a Richard Linklater movie? Yeah. Huh, okay.

Which sounds very plot heavy for a Linklater movie. I guess so. Oh yeah, this guy was also in Everybody Wants Some, the Richard Linklater movie. Oh yeah, that was good. Anyway, so I see this movie and I'm like, well, this is garbage. Yeah. I like, I'm debating like- Was the'm like, well, this is garbage. Yeah.

I like, I'm debating. Was the popcorn good? I didn't get popcorn. This was right after dinner. And I'm debating like two thirds of the way through the movie. I'm like, I can leave, right? But then I just got to go home. This is like my fun night out.

And so I. Movie by yourself. Yeah, kind of. I'm jealous. I don't do that. Yeah. So I'm like, well, this sucks. And then I go when I'm done, I go to IMDb. I'm like, clearly, like, I want to know what the ranking out of 10 or rating out of 10 that people have given this movie. Seven out of ten people have given this movie. And so I'm like, no way people are giving this. So I look at some of the reviews and they're like, not as clever as it thinks it is. Six out of ten.

It was still a movie and I still got to watch it. Six out of ten. It is a rom-com, sans the comedy with an overplayed plot. Six out of ten. Don't believe the hype. Six out of ten. So close. Ruined by consistent illogic. Six out of ten.

Six out of ten, wow. So Hitman is a mystifying borefest. Six out of ten. So I'm like, do people rating these movies feel bad? I don't want to give a bad rating. I'm gonna give a, yeah. I don't want to sink the movie. You know you can use all the numbers, right?

Yeah, like what, like yeah. For a three out of 10, like what do you have to do to that percentage? I know, cause I'm like, my favorite movies, I'm like, I rarely, but put reviews, I just did the star rating on Letterboxd. And my favorite movie, I'm like, I rarely but put reviews. I just did the star rating on Letterboxd. Yeah. And my favorite movie, I'm like, well, four and a half out of five, I can give it.

I'm not going to give this one a five. Yeah. You got to make sure that like you reserve five for the best. Yeah. So like movies that I'm like, oh, this was okay. Five give, give it or like two and a half out of five. Sure. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I liked it. Okay. But this is room for improvement. Have you ever seen a movie where the Rotten Tomato Critics score is so low, but the audience score is off the charts?

Yeah, yeah. And oftentimes I'm like, the audience was right on this one. Like, they're gonna hate The Beekeeper, but when you watch it, you're like, that was great. Yeah, we love it. Yeah, we love it. Jason Statham doing exactly what Jason Statham

we've employed him to do. I'm sure that Paul Blart gets the same Treatment. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen what did I see Paul Blart? Oh, he's a mall cop He's a yeah. Did you have your kids seen Paul Blart? No, they kids love that movie. Oh, really? Yeah I think it's just a fat adult doing stupid stuff You know classic classic comedy. Yeah, there is this scene in it where he tries to slip along a floor and he stops because he like screeches to a stop and then has to wiggle his way through. What do we watch with them?

Oh, we watched Ferris Bueller the other day. They like it? Yeah. Nice. That's a, that movie, like every shot in it is interesting. Like it's a, it's a great-looking movie. Mm-hmm I wish I had more to say on there. I waited six out of ten. Yeah. Yeah, I was one of my favorites of all time three and a half out of

This guy they never tried to remake it I feel like if you're gonna see it to see it they did a TV show Oh god, you remember that it was horrible Yeah, I think Jennifer Aniston's the sister. Oh shit. Yeah three and a ten three out of ten. Yeah. Yeah Hey, you know what? Jennifer has this in it six Yeah, but they did try to make a remake and they couldn't get it off the ground the Ferris wheeler Yeah, where he skipped out of work as an adult. Oh, yeah, that would have been kind of fun. Yeah, but Ben Steins his boss. Did you ever, have you ever watched the Goldbergs?

Yeah. My son loved it, but there was an episode where the kid tries to do Ferris Bueller's Day Off and he goes, I'm gonna live the life because he saw the movie and then none of it works. Like he goes, he jumps on the float and the cops pull him off. And he tells his girlfriend that her grandmother died so that she can get a

class and she's like, oh, my grandmother died, why would you say that? Just everything blows up in his face. It was great. Yeah, that movie, it's got that great parade scene. The only other parade scene I could think of was the Fugitive. Yeah, the Fugitive. And I'm like, that's in Chicago as well. How many parades a year do they do in Chicago?

That was an October fest in that too? St. Patrick's Day. Oh, St. Patrick's Day. But it couldn't have been October fest if it's like June or May or June for Greg Wheeler. Oh, I guess. They were in the St. Pauli of, they were, yeah, they sang Donkashay.

Yeah. Yeah, on like a German flute. And they sang Twist and Show. What's your opinion of that era? Twist and Show? Yeah. The era? I'm like a German flunk. They say twister twist and show. What's your opinion of that? Yeah Yeah, the era. I'm not a big the Hamburg stuff seems interesting. I'll say that Beatles Hamburg stuff Yeah, yeah, but then you ever seen backbeat Backbeat many times Here's the thing I find interesting about the Beatles Hamburg days is I've always heard like the Malcolm Gladwell

Jacking off together? Yeah, that too. That's the best part. Is a people and I get the thought in corporate things they go you got to practice all it whatever it is you're doing you practice it because 10,000 hours makes you an expert the Beatles they went to Hamburg they played and played and played and that's how why they became the Beatles they were today, but I'm like Pete Best never got better. Yeah Stu sucked He never got better He never got better. Stu sucked. He never got better. Well, he didn't.

He never got better because he died. Well, there ain't nobody here. Fair enough. But like, there's other bands who probably, presumably did another 10,000 hours in Hamburg. Bert Campford came out of there. Yeah, that's right. He's got the mad hits. right. Got the mad hits.

He's got the mad hits. But yeah, and like, you know, if you do 10,000 hours, but 5,000 hours of those are playing Roll Over Beethoven and Dizzy Miss Lizzie over and over. You get really good at it. Yeah. Anyway, check out Hitman. Yeah. You can't miss it. Would you say? What was your review of it? She's so pretty.

The woman he falls for? Extra point just for that. Extra point for that. Yeah. Who is she? I don't know. Oh, okay. It is really nice.

I know we've talked about it a few times in the last week, just looking at attractive people in a movie. It's the best. Yeah. It's the best. Way better than ugly ones. Yeah. And it's like, it doesn't have to be tawdry.

It just has to be like, huh, that's really good looking. You know, and if they did this in, if they made it in England, it would just be some like, they would have Martin Freeman. Even just old movies, sometimes I'll watch it and I'll be like, there's a lot of ugly people in this movie. Yeah. Like, you can just see extras or like, they'll go in an office or something. I'm like, everyone's ugly there.

Or like, yeah, they didn't whiten teeth back then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, the men in the movie have these crazy hairy arms with like hair coming up over their watch. Yeah, over their neck. Yeah, yeah. It's like, they figured it out

by when they started making Monk with Tony Shalhoub. They're like long sleeves Tough totally we're not having any over lubing over here. Oh, you be all hairy and the guys smoke in the seven He said I can't believe I'm turning 30 and you're like I gotta settle down Anyway, Graham, what's up with you? Well, here's the thing, as you as you know, for past weeks, haven't been able to eat gluten. So what I started doing is making an unofficial ranking in my head of what is the worst

gluten free option. And you're about to go to France, go to France in Germany, the whole croissants and pretzels. Yep. And I've got to just have to make to France. I'm going to France. And Germany, the home of croissants and pretzels. Yep, and I've got to just have to make myself sick, I guess, because I have to have a croissant, and I have to have a pretzel, and I have to have a beer. So I'm readying myself for that eventually. Anyway, so you were telling,

you came over the ranking of the worst and best gluten-free. No, not the best, just the worst. The best ones are fine. Like at the very best, you're like, no, fine like the at the very best you're like, yeah That was okay. Like there's nothing where like I can't believe this I mean you love glutenberg beer love glutenberg beer. I the gluten-free frozen pizzas at Costco Perfect. Fantastic. Oh, did Sally bring back any of the Trader Joe's gluten-free stuff? Yeah and a good okay, but

Nothing like Domino's pizzas wouldn't for you think it's fine it's like if you have to eat it like as soon as it gets there it has no it has no shelf life you know every delivery guy is like forcing it into your mouth only the good delivery guys do that. Yeah. Panagos is just equivalent to eating a giant cracker. Just like the cracker. It's fine, but it's not a pizza in any way, shape or form. Shape maybe though.

No, it's square. Really? Yeah. Wow. It is, it's just like a giant Triscuit, like, which is fine, you know, like a Triscuit, right? Look, I could never make a pizza. No, I could never make a gluten-free pizza.

But I finally had the one that I'm like, nothing's gonna be worse than this. Okay. And it was the Subway's gluten-free bun. Oh. Oh, it is. Is it the same shape? Same shape.

At least it's not a square. It's a square sandwich. Yeah, which is the topping of a square sandwich. I guess that's the thing. A square sandwich is the number one sandwich in the world. Man, Subways is off the charts bad. Is they obviously just keep them there in case. Like they're not made whatever,

like in their crazy bread machine. Because it's not an oven, whatever the thing is, it's not. It's an oven. But like it goes from white bread to brown, it turns tan, it's a cacophier, it turns a khaki. But subway was my go-to. That was my go-to. Like I, I, I'm hungry and I spend a lot of money and I'm horny. And so give me half of the sandwich to eat the other one. You know what I'm going to do with that? True. The other.

Um, but, uh, yeah, it's by far the worst that comes into like a pre packaged. I don't know where they would have got it from State stale falls apart immediately. Huh looks like a submarine sandwich. Do they make it in front of you? Or do you have to like call it in? Yo, they made in front of me, but I was like, I don't even think this sandwich is holding up to toppings What is it that tastes so bad about it? It doesn't taste like anything. It doesn't taste like anything bread. They didn't even bother. And this is an indictment because people don't generally

like Subway bread to begin with. Yes. Yes. Like. Yeah. But yeah, if anybody has something, the worst out there, I'm willing to try it, but I don't think you're gonna beat

Subway's gluten-free sandwich. Is the pasta any good, the gluten-free pasta, have you found any that works for you? Yeah, the stuff from Trader Joe's was very nice. Oh yeah, yeah. And I've bought some at a Italian market that was quite good. The pasta's, I think, easier to do than a bread.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the bread doesn't taste like bread, which is fine, but it's like, don't call it bread, I guess. easier to do than a bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the bread doesn't taste like bread, which is fine. But it's like, don't call it bread, I guess. Don't call it a comeback. Yeah, please don't call it a comeback. I was going to say, you were talking about going to France earlier. And we mentioned earlier about Oui Oui. Oui Oui.

But we had talked about Bastille Day. And I never got the answer. Were you going to be there for Bastille Day? Oh, this was, there were two minutes of the show where we didn't record. Oh yes. We started the show and then I realized I had not hit record. Well yeah, we were talking about Bastille Day.

Yeah, I was in France and then I was trying to find the Bastille, like it's such a monument there, but I was looking for it and then I got lost and then I stopped a French guy and I was like, by the way, broken French, I was like, excusez-moi, où est la lot best deal and the guy turned to me he went we burned it down And it was the most French thing I'd ever experienced in my life They did a pretty good gag of

Trying to approach somebody by speaking French on modern family Is that one of the one of the dad parents was in France and he says like, bonjour to somebody. And the guy goes, McDonald's, Mona Lisa, that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't even know if I'm gonna attempt it. You know, like-

You're French? Yeah. Like I want to say, I want to say bonjour. Let's practice right now. Okay. Okay. Okay. So Josh and I are smoking in a cafe. Wait, is there like, we're plotting squeeze box playing in the back?

Yeah. We're plotting the, the, we're higher. You're going to hire an assassin to kill Charles de Gaulle. Bonhomme, you mean? Yeah. He is bonhomme. Or gentilhomme. Or whatever.

J'adore. Comment ça va? Ça va bien. Et toi? Fantastique. Merci. Où est la soumarin sandwich, gluten-free. I remember a sandwich like that.

It's a sandwich so... ...sexy. With fat meat. Sexy Take it Josh I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Bastille? Bastille. We... We love Bastille. We love Bastille. We love Bastille. We love Bastille.

The song Pompeii. The song Pompeii. The song Pompeii. The song Pompeii. The song Pompeii. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Phoenix, yes. Phoenix, yes. We love Phoenix, Daft Punk, and... Fantastic. Sorry, Steensburg. Merci, Gintel.

Oh, the air. Oh yeah, yeah. Le Schompf. You're going to Germany as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to Germany? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to Germany?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to Germany? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to Germany? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to Germany? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to Germany? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to Germany as well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good day. Good day.

Where are the Landers? Oh, I'm going to speak German. That meant, where are the Landers sisters, if you're looking for it. Where are they? What did you say? I don't speak German. My friend was in Oktoberfest with a group of like 10 people. And then she got up early in the morning and went and got her a coffee.

But she's her own coffee. So she went to the shop and she was like, I'll have one tea and nine coffee. And then they gave her the tea and then she waited forever. And then she was like, I'm waiting for the coffee. And the guy was like, you said no coffee. And then she realized she had said like, nine coffee. And she wanted nine? Well, there was 10 of them right there. Oh my God. Friggin' Brady Bunch.

Tea and no coffee. I don't know, I didn't know that I had to say that, but oh yeah, that's weird. I want 10 drinks, okay, that'll be like three euros. Oh cool. The Oktoberfest thing I've always wanted to see in person is the servers. Journal dresses? Well, like the servers that are holding like-

Oh, so many of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've always wanted to see that live in a person. Have you been during- I've never been to Oktoberfest, no. Have you ever been to Germany? No. You? Yeah, I've been to Germany. I've been to to see that live in a person. Have you been during I've never talked over fast. No, no Have you ever been to Germany? No Yeah, I've been in Germany been a Shrektoberfest Yeah, the trick to reverse oh, it's the same smells like donkeys and swamp. Yeah donkeys swamps onion

What does he drink? What a Shrek drink? Yeah, no special brew than he yeah That's butter beer. Yeah, he does. I got Shrek and Harry Potter mixed up. Is butter beer in Harry Potter alcoholic? No, it's, think of it like root beer. Root beer, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Haven't read the books. And I haven't really seen the movies. I've kind of got a blind spot around Harry Potter. You just, just be transphobic and everything will work out fine. Yeah. The book will find you. My favorite thing about the Harry Potter books is that if you go to Edinburgh, there's numerous

places that say this is where Harry Potter was written. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think she liked to write at coffee shops. I was in Paris and then I went to this bar where Hemingway wrote The Sun Also Rises, they had a little plaque where the spot was. And I was like, ah, this is so cool, because I loved Hemingway.

And then next bar I went to, they also had a picture of Hemingway, they were drinking, and then it was like, every bar I went to throughout Spain and Paris, they had a picture, like not making it up, there's pictures of him drinking there, I was like, this guy's just a drunk. And then by the time I got to Madrid,

there was a bar actually called Hemingway never drank here and that was like their claim Yeah, I was just in Newfoundland and I went to a bar that you get screeched in at oh, yeah Yeah, and we never drank here Soviet Russia screech drinks you. But like there's one bar that does like the full ceremony, but every other bar is like screech, like in the window, screech in here kind of thing. And a lot of them was just like, take the shot because the fish. Yeah, yeah.

But yeah, anyways, he's a public domain, right? Anybody can say, is he in? I think some of his stuff is. I don't know all the... Yeah, that's why they can make like a old man and see a horror movie now. I would watch that. I am curious about, like, I don't think they'd be

the horror movies I like at all, but the Winnie the Pooh one is, want to see it but I also think it's quite disgusting but yeah I imagine it's probably more disgusting than good but yeah yeah yes in the in the this is disgusting yeah and the old man in the sea the tuna is like after him and Joe DiMaggio's bone spurs are haunting him. But yeah, going to Paris, going to Germany. But by the time this comes out, you'll be pretty close. Yeah. And it was great time and thank you to all the citizens of Paris for making me feel at

home. Did you hear the thing that they're apparently they've done this? It would have been yesterday, but like they spent billions of dollars cleaning up the river there the sin oh yeah which I always get confused there's the sin and then there's the ward for a boob is also the sin and they spent billions of dollars cleaning it up and the the French Prime Minister and the mayor of Paris are gonna prove it's clean by swimming in it. And so all the people of Paris were like,

well, the day before they do that, we're all shitting in it. Yeah, exactly. Dave Matthews Band is reporting to come on the bridge here. And apparently it's just like a social media thing that took off, but I don't think anyone actually did. That's great. You know, anytime you can get that kind of community

engagement on something, yeah, it's good, it's working. Well, do you guys wanna move on to a little over her? Well, do you hear the people sing, singing the songs of angry men? France. Hello, sleepy heads. Sleeping with Celebrities is your podcast pillow pal. We talk to remarkable people about unremarkable topics, all to help you slow down your brain

and drift off to sleep. For instance, the remarkable actor Alan Tudyk. You hand somebody a yardstick after they've shopped at your general store. The store's name is constantly in your heart because yardsticks become part of the family. Sleeping with Celebrities, hosted by me, John Moe, on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Night night. The following are real reenactments of pretend emergency calls. 911. My husband! It's my husband! Calm down please. What about your husband? emergency calls. There are plenty of podcasts on the hunt for justice but

only one podcast has the courage to take on the silly crimes. Judge John Hodgman, the only true crime podcast that won't leave you feeling sad and bad and scared for once. Only on MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard is a segment where if you hear it, we also would like to hear it. Let us have a chance. Let our ears do the walking.

And we always like to start with the guest. Josh, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I took my dog into the groomers. Yeah. I was getting its hair cut. What kind of dog? I have a Portuguese water dog. So she has big curly hair.

Oh yeah, nice. So Wayne got groomed and I was waiting to pick her up and the woman ahead of me goes, she goes, I know you have a teeth whitening tartar cleaning for the dog's teeth, and you only do that on the third of every Sunday, but I'm really hoping I can get it done this weekend. Like I said, I'm sorry we can only do it on the third

every Sunday, that's the only time that guy's available. And then she went, but it's for a funeral. So I don't know if it was a dog's funeral or, or just you want the dog to look good at the funeral. Yeah. Oh my God, they'd whitened dog's teeth. Marvette's always telling us like, oh, you should brush your dog's teeth.

And we're like, yeah. We were right on that. But I never considered like the whitening. But yeah, when you see dogs in movies, they got pretty white teeth, you know, but like at a funeral, like you dogs don't smile. They only show their teeth because they're going to attack. Yeah. When you see movies from like the sixties, don't the dogs.

Can you see movies from like the 60s? Don't the dogs teeth look like they're smoked? Yeah, because they're all smoked. Yeah. Yeah. It's, well, you know, you'd have to move around the appointment to a funeral. Like what's the snack? They're not going to do that twice. I don't know.

Hold it up. So. Yeah. Well, they might. They might hold the second funeral. Can we push the funeral a week? Because my dog needs her teeth whitened. Oh, yeah.

No problem. And that makes sense. She'd be ashamed if she did. Yeah, I don't think I've ever been at a funeral where there was a dog in attendance. I don't see it helping. It's one of the pallbearers, so one quarter of the casket's way down to the floor.

Or like the dog just like, he just digs in the cemetery, like could you not? Could you not? Or like the dog is just like he just digging in the cemetery like you You don't know how inappropriate this is what you're doing This is the last time I bring my dog to a funeral at a cemetery Dave you have an over well, I was telling you off-air. I showed you at the candy store They had a product that I enjoyed the name of for but this won't be my overheard, please. It was Lucas Squinkles Salsa Getty.

Which I still say is that's as good an overheard as you can be. And the logo is this cool duck. Duck wearing sunglasses. Yeah, arms folded. But no, no, my overheard is something different, something else. I'm surprised you didn't do a deeper dive into what this this product was. The thing is, they had two kinds of Lucas, Lucas, Lucas Squinkles, Salsa Getty. I couldn't tell you what they had the red container and then the blue container had a different name, but I didn't. Oh, man. This is huge. I gotta come back. But my overheard is an overseen and I was at a, this is just, you know when you, like

a lot of stores, they put a little sandwich board out on the street and it'll be a chalkboard and they'll draw a little something on there. Either something like a pun or- Like a fun pun, Sam. Yeah, something to entice you to go into the establishment. Yeah. Well, I was walking by, I was walking downtown and there was one of these out and I didn't know exactly,

I noticed it before I saw what kind of business it was. And it was a picture of a man, like it was a little cartoon a two panel cartoon and it was a guy with like a TV screen and a computer screen and his iPad or his phone and his eyes are looking at all these screens and it says content and then there's a picture of the same guy with nothing around, just smiling, and it says, content. Whoa, like realize, realize, realize. And then at the bottom it says, hashtag, get a proper haircut.

Twist ending. And apparently it is a, like a hair salon called Proper. Oh yeah! But then I stopped and I looked and I was like, the guy's hair didn't change from one panel to the other. It was just like someone wanted to draw this thing. I love it. Yeah, there's a strip club downtown that changes their marquee every day and it's always some kind of pun. Oh, yeah

Yeah Yeah Give up the good work boys. Um, there was I think does the number five orange change theirs to anything funny? Yeah, they probably do something funny because I know that Bon Jovi's album slippery when wet I'd probably do something funny. Because I know that Bon Jovi's album, Slippery When Wet, they got that from the marquee of the number five orange. And I heard that Girls Girls Girls was also from

Coldwell, right? Well, they mentioned Girls Girls Girls, they mentioned like the Marvel Arch. Because I think they maybe mentioned two or three other local strip clubs. Yeah, the Penthouse, they would have comedy shows upstairs, but we already admitted, so I went into the club and they have pictures all the way around,

like celebrity headshots of people when it was in a strip club, when it was just like a nightclub. And Don Adams has one of his pictures. Oh, fantastic. He's Maxwell Smart. I did a fake signature on it. I missed it by that much. Was he also the voice of?

Inspector Gadget? Inspector Gadget? Yeah. He talked into a phone and then he did. Talked into a shoe. Talked into a phone. But it was a phone. It was a phone, but that's not what was remarkable about it.

Because I talked into a phone too and no one's singing my praises. He then did some sort of ads for like a collect call thing or something. And he had really denture-y speech. It was very whistling. Would you believe? I remember I watched a biography, like an A&E biography once on Hugh Hefner, and then they were like, he has a very regimented life, like he's like on Wednesdays he does this and movie nights, whatever. On Sundays he has his dog's teeth whitened.

Yeah, he has his dog's teeth whitened. And then he has like a poker night one night, a weekend with all his friends come over and it was all these friends and one of them was Don Adams. And then he was, they were playing poker and then he had gray hair, but then his mustache was dyed jet black,

which I don't know why that was just the mustache. And they were playing and they went, missed it by that much. And they all laughed like that was the funniest thing And I was like does he do that every week like I feel every hand drop it oh Man Do Graham do you have an over? I do I? was doing a show at the

China cloud theater Vancouver and I was trying a show at the China Cloud Theatre here in Vancouver, and I was trying out some new material. And I was, well, the, sometimes you whisper something and nobody hears it because there's other stuff going on on top of it. But this, during the new material, a woman very quietly, but also when I was quiet on stage, the whole room was quiet. And she said, is there going to be a joke or what? Did everyone hear it? Yeah. Well, I did, because I came out on stage and then as I walked out, there was two women at the front row and then her friend turned to her friend and she goes,

this guy's really funny. And that bolstered my confidence and destroyed me because I also now got all cocky and then I just tanked it so hard. And it was just silence. And then when it was to that point where you could just hear nothing and then their friend went I thought you said he was funny and then everyone heard it and I was like trying to power through in the silence I got off my wife was like everyone heard that

It was it was you and your wife that did the thing when you you had just kind of moved away from stand-up But you went on a honeymoon and you were camping. Is this, do you know? Oh yeah, yeah. Well which was it? Were you on a honeymoon or camping? We were camping and then there was this big field of crickets. Yeah. And it was just like, yes, and it was just, I've never heard so many crickets in my life like that. And then I just stood in it and did everybody else's jokes. Everyone that ever bugged me. And it was so satisfying to like drop some bit and be like, I told you to wait in the car. Nothing but crickets.

Is that the champ again? Yeah, not a lot of people know he started on the open mic stand. I said, pardon? Yeah, don't heckle him, man. He'll go off. Oh my God. Now we also have overheard sent in to us

from people all over the map. You want to send one in? Send in it to sbwyatmaximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Maddy T. in Hamilton, Ontario. This is from a friend of mine years ago on his very first day in university in his very first Anthropology 101 class.

For the class, as everyone was filing in, my friend struck up a conversation with the guy next to him who seemed really eager to get started. Once the lesson started, the professor was giving a welcome speech to the class. And at the end, in a cadence of a teacher who makes the same joke every school year says, and just a reminder everyone

This is anthropology not paleontology So I'm sorry there will be no dinosaurs Which got a polite chuckle from the students except for the guy sitting next to my friend who in an outrage whispered said what? What the fuck man, I didn't read the description of this at all. When I was in broadcasting school, there was TV broadcasting, radio broadcasting, and journalism, all kind of in the same umbrella. Yeah. And I was in TV broadcasting, and in the first day of getting to know each other.

One of the other students was like, well, I'm just so excited for what we do. The journalism stuff. And we were like, not in this part. And we never saw her again. I, I used to live when I first moved, I lived across from the dolphin theater, which was like a dollar a movie. Oh yeah. And commercial it was on Hastings.

Yeah. Hey, do you remember man in the moon? The Jim Carrey. Oh yeah. A commercial? It was on Hastings. Yeah, yeah. And then, do you remember Man on the Moon? The Jim Carrey with Eddie Crawford? Yeah. So there's the opening, it was like five minutes, whatever, and then he comes out and he goes like, this is the end of the movie, this was it, whatever. It's like a kind of a dumb joke, whatever. Yeah. So I would pay a dollar and go in and then there'd be that part, he's like, this is the end of the movie. And I went, oh, this is a short movie. And then I get up and leave. And then people in the theater and I went, well this is a short movie and then I get up and leave and then people in the theater be like no no that's not the end of the movie and I'd walk out as the best dollar. Oh yeah I wonder because the funniest like shout out line when I was in a movie was yeah Boogie Nights. The very end when he like is looking at his penis in the mirror, he pulls it out

and there's somebody in the back with, that's it, big deal. And everybody in the theater lost their mind. But I wonder if he was just doing that every hour. They do talk about it a lot. So you expect it to be quite a spectacle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was big though. It was big, yeah, that's true, it a lot. So you expect it to be quite a spectacle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was big though.

It was big, yeah, that's true, it was big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I saw it on a really small screen. Yeah, the pictures got small. My dick didn't. It's ready for its closeup. This next one's from Amanda from Philadelphia. I was walking my dog in the late evening

and passed by a group of guys hanging around their car. Seemed like this was the location of their after party. As I passed, one of the guys says to the other, dude, that dog has better haircut than you. Yikes. Yeah, well, I mean, probably because Josh is groomer. What do they do? Do they straighten the hair?

Do you ever get a straightened? Just relax a bit. How often did your dog have to go to the groomer? About every three months or so. That's not bad at all. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, she's pretty shaggy when we bring her in.

Yeah. Could probably go sooner. Yeah. She like it. She likes it after. Yeah. She went to pick her up. She's always happy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah in a dog groomer And it's a whole different world. It's just like a pretty thankless job Yeah, probably the owners are gonna be like, you know great thanks, but it's yeah I mean the hardest part is probably the end when you have to be like your dog didn't make it This last one comes from Alex in Rhode Island I was running a lacrosse tournament and someone left their car running in a designated no parking zone

While they went off to have some drinks in another area Designated no parking zone while they went off to have some drinks in another area 30 minutes went by and the unattended car was still there still running So I turned it off and took the keys eventually the guy came up to me really pissed off saying how am I supposed to turn on the car and Given the keys thinking this was over to which he followed up with who's gonna blow into my car's breathalyzer? Oh no. He figured a loophole. Keep it running.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just drink it home. Yeah. Oh, but I love the driving part of it. Yeah. Yeah. The drinking's great, but oh, the driving's sublime. Wow.

Yeah. Do they, I've only heard of those things in stories, like the breathalyzer? Well, like the breathalyzer that activates the car. Oh yeah. I knew somebody in Calgary that had an ankle monitor that they couldn't go with it. They was got a perimeter they were allowed to go around, but that wasn't an alcohol thing. Like to me, I would just take the car away. Like, I'd be like like you can't drive it

Yeah, like an expensive attachment Yeah, that's true. Hey, we're just put the club on it. Yeah, I guess they do like why are they letting people drive? They should just take the yeah. Yeah, you used your privilege of driving. No more driving. You're Justin Timberlake in it Oh man, they're like I know it'll be old news by the time this comes out, but those memes, they're the best. The guy, the guy, so he was arrested for driving drunk. Yeah. The, the person didn't know, the cop didn't know who he was. Yeah. And Justin Tuberlake says, it's going to ruin the tour. The cop says, what tour? Just to relate says the world tour. The trolls world tour. That is that's the extent of it. And we love that.

Well, I love it just because like there was a meme of Gilligan's Island with them like crashing and being like this is going to ruin the tour. What tour? The three hour tour. That's good. Yeah, it's funny. But like, I feel like it probably wouldn't ruin the tour. That's good. Yeah, it's funny. But like, I feel like it probably wouldn't ruin the tour. No, no. Like, tons of celebrities have driven drunk. The- It's not driving the bus. Exactly.

There's a conspiracy theory that this was done on purpose because Justin Timberlake's sales were very poor. Oh, sure. This would be a way to pull out gracefully. But that's not a graceful exit. Wow. Like say you're sick or something. They were saying the same thing about,

J.Lo canceled her tour and they were saying it was like, oh, if she cancels the tour, there's a big insurance payout or something. Oh, okay. I don't know. I don't know. Black keys had to scale back there. They couldn't sell it.

But they were dignified about it. They didn't pretend to. Well, they're the black keys. Yeah. They're the classic. There's always dignity with those guys. Yeah, they're the best we've got. But yeah, they, did they then have to like reschedule

the smaller venues or is it just the tours off? I think they went to smaller schedules, smaller venues. Like I think you need to reschedule the whole thing. Don't you? Yeah. Yeah, tour's probably really hard to put together. Well, I don't know nothing about that. No.

I just, I'm all about a residency, that's what I do. Yeah. I have a residency. People come see you. Yeah. You and the Hold Steady. Yeah. Indonesian overheards that are written in,

we also accept your phone calls. If you wanna call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. A spy pod. One like these people have. Little French. French on that then.

Ugh. Ugh. Now, last time I was on, it's one of the few things I remember from 10 years ago, was I came on and I said, I went and listened to all the previous ones because I was afraid I was going to repeat my overheard. And the two of you were like, that is not necessary. And you totally laughed at me and said, well, not worth the effort. And then you turned around and played a bunch of overheards from previous episodes. It wasn't until later that the message board was like, Hey guys. Well, I mean, I really have to blow into a breathalyzer before I play these things.

All right, here we go. Hey, this is Jesse in Los Angeles. I was just at the Long Beach flea market and a woman walking in the opposite direction to me was saying to her friends, yeah, ghost, pooping? Okay, well, off I go. What the hell? I don't know.

That sounded like some sort of haunted recording. Yeah. Okay, well, off I go. What the hell? I don't know. That sounded like some sort of haunted recording. It sounded like it was underground somewhere. You think Jesse was underground? Yeah, don't you think? Maybe he probably got one of these vintage recording devices at the flea market. Hi, Jesse. Hi, Jesse. We love you.

You're the number one. You're the OG. Ghost pooping. It sounds like after you take some of that clear lax Okay, okay, yes Hi guys calling in with an overheard walk past two two guys in their 20s walking towards the entrance to Costco. And the one guy said to the other, what I like to do, I put on a podcast and then I start eating and I eat until the podcast is over. All right, off I go. That's how professional eaters do it.

Yeah. I think we should open a restaurant that's on all you can eat thing, but we play like a Joe Rogan experience. Oh my God, three hours of eating. When it's over, you can't, you, like all you can eat during Joe Rogan. Yeah. You get three hours to eat as much as you want, but you have to listen to Joe Rogan the whole time and you don't get to pick who the guest is.

You have to kind of agree with him. And unfortunately, every time it's a Jordan Peterson episode, he's talking about his all meat diet. Ugh. I couldn't, I can't even imagine having to. Does he cook the meat, Jordan Peterson? Uh, oh. I think he must.

He cooked meat. I think it's very important that the meat be raw. Cry, now cry. I think it's very important. the meat be raw. Cry, now cry. I think it's very important. It's more like Bobcat Cooling. It went from Kermit to... You never see Kermit cry.

No, it's true. Kermit... yeah. Scottish more together than Jordan Peterson. Hey, it's okay to cry, guys. Hey, it's okay to cry guys. Yeah, it's okay to cry. But it's not okay to cry while demeaning other men. It's like there's not enough masculine men around. I think crying is very masculine. Yeah.

Yeah. And I'll cry during Hitman. There was a, I watched the movie Iron Claw. Yeah. You guys see, it's about- Oh no. They're like wrestling dynasty. Anyway, there's a scene where the main character is crying

and his kids come up to him and he's like, I didn't want you to see me crying. And they're like, why? We cry all the time. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, these kids know where to go. Yeah, I mean, I think it's healthy to cry in front of your kids, if only just show them

how to cry quietly. Let's just not draw attention to it. Like, hey, feel the feelings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's keep it to ourselves. Yeah. We don't need the constant wailing. Let's not put on a show. And your final phone call.

Hi, Dave Graham, Impossible Guest. This is Sarah from Fort Collins, Colorado. I was at a concert who were leaving and this girl behind us, clearly in a really great relationship said, are you still mad at me? The guy goes when was I fucking mad? Many paws we said I'm just missed Just missed I'm not even mad. I'm just missed cuz we're in the tiff Fucking man Do you think that couple still together I? Am rooting for them. Yeah, what concert do you think it was? Cannibal Cor them. Yeah, me too. What concert do you think it was? Cannibal Corpse. Yeah. Fair enough.

If I had to pick. Ah, yeah, I'd like to go to, just once I'd like to go to like a real black metal Norwegian metal concert. Just to see what that's like. It's pretty awesome. You've been? Oh yeah, yeah, well, as a security guy, right?

But it's- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What a black metal concert. You're checking people. Yeah Frisking everyone The best was the Swedish one avatar Came here. Okay, but the day before they had been in I think was drawn or something that But they lost their luggage. So they lost all their crazy black metal folks and everything that So they went to Walmart and got Hawaiian shirts and khakis

And did the whole show in it and people just loved it Oh that's so funny Yeah they were the best Yeah for a time I had a shorter hair, a smaller beard. And I remember somebody on a like some website said, Hey, it's varg vigorous or whatever. And I was like, what's that? And he's like a guy from a black heavy metal band that burned down churches and oh, yeah, I went to it was Greek Day yesterday. Hey, which is just a, they close Broadway to Cars and you just walk around

and it's a Greek sort of neighborhood, not as Greek as it used to be, I don't think. And the only thing that was really Greek about it was all the Greek restaurants, like, they're cooking out on the sidewalk. But then there's just a whatever, like, every booth set up that's not at all Greek. And there was a place that just had like

four dollar Hawaiian shirts. Pretty good. And like the biggest pile of bandanas you've ever seen. Pick a bandana. And the Greek day I find funny too, cause they're like, normally you go to a street festival like that and you're like, oh, what am I gonna eat? There's booths everywhere.

But you're like, hey, do I get a Skewer from this place? Yeah one from that place. It's the same menu at every place. I mean there were a lot of like there was a lot of nude men wrestling. This is Greek style. Yeah Nice classic architecture. Sure. Toga guy Well that brings us to the end of this episode Josh, thank you so much for being our guest. Thanks for having me back. We'll see you again in ten more years. Oh no, I think we do once a year for four years and then ten years off. That's right, then ten years. So we'll see you next year. This time around next year and

got anything to plug? Nothing. If you want to hear my manual on chainsaw safety, I can send it to you. Oh shit, that sounds great. Yeah. And thank you everybody out there for listening. We cherish you. We love each and every one of you.

We hope you have a really good sleep tonight because I know you're listening to this just and you're falling asleep. And come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Good night!