Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 856 - Stacey McLachlan

Episode Date: August 13, 2024

Comedian and writer Stacey McLachlan returns to talk flummer, bowling, and tasting menus. And we love the Olympics!

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 8556 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who can't get enough of the summertime vibe, Mr. Dave Schumke. Oh my God.

It's like, it's ice coffee. It's car shows. It's totally good. It's sand castle competitions. Run your own lemonade stand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's bleaching and waxing. Oh, you gotta. Absolutely. I've gotta be beach ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was gonna say Biore strips, but that's a... It's Biore strips. You gotta do Biore strips in the summer. Boy, I'm the blazing sun.

It's Biori strips, Crest Whitening strips. Oh, yeah. And any strips. I'll go to the grocery store, go to the strip aisle. Yeah, you get, I'm trying to think of what other strips there are. Garfield. Jim Strip, Garfield. Anyway.

Oh, you know, summer's fun. Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, so exciting every know, summer's fun. Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, so exciting, every time to have her here, it's Stacy McLaughlin, hello! Hi, how's everyone? Good, how are you? I'm good, I love summer. You guys are, seems like you don't like summer,

but it's actually the best season. Really? I have a love, I love, hate relationship with summer. Before we get into it, you have a show in September. October. Sorry, October, Little Mom Gallery. What day, what day in October? It's October 5th.

And the show is? The slideshow. It's PowerPoint presentations and then improvisers have to just make up a talk to go along with it. It's very fun. Oh, so the slides are all? Predetermined.

Nice. And so they just have to come up with a thing. But the fun is spontaneous. The fun is spontaneous. I might And so they just have to come up with a thing. But the fun is spontaneous. The fun is spontaneous. I might go see that guys, you might catch me there. What? It sounds like a lot of fun. Well, or you might catch me outside.

Oh shit, how about that? How about that? Should we get to know us? Yeah. Yeah. Get to know us. Stacy, what? Take us away.

Stacy, why? I thought we were coming across as guys who liked the summer. You know us. Stacy, what? Take us away. Stacy, why? I thought we were coming across as guys who liked the summer. Cause Graham didn't seem that sarcastic when he called me a cool summertime guy. No, it wasn't me. You are, you're wearing, you've always in shorts.

You look like you've just come from the garden. You know, it seemed like you're doing a lot of the outdoor work. He's doing the work. He's doing the work. Honestly, he's gotta step away from things, do the work. I've been working on myself. I think I like summer more than I used to.

Okay, growing on you. Yeah. Again, like with every season, it's about a month too long. Yeah. Yeah. Do you need a fifth season in there to kind of spread everything out a bit? I mean, I haven't done the math, but I might need two extra seasons in there.

Two extra? Yeah. So would you get one between winter, fall and winter? I haven't decided yet, but. It is up to you. Between fall and winter, frosty. Just frosty. It's just called frosty.

Just frosty. It's not snowing. It's not freezing. It's just, you wake up in the morning, frosty. It's just a little crisp. It's a little bit crisp. It's crisp. It's cris called frosty. Just frosty. It's not snowing. It's not, you know, it's not freezing. It's just, you wake up in the morning. It's just a little crisp. It's a little bit crisp. It's crisp, it's crisper than fall.

But not quite as crisp as winter. We're getting this, we're getting this. So, cause like summertime, you get, it starts June 21st and you're like, okay. But the time you get to official start of summer, it feels like summer has existed for a while, right? Exactly. And then, but then, so you get you,

then you do June and you do July, you're eating freezies, you're going water skiing. Oh yeah, absolutely. Doing one of those towers water skiing? Oh man. And then you get to August and you check the calendar. August 1st, we're not even at the halfway point of summer. Yeah, you're right.

We do need another, because September feels like it's the switch over, but it's not, but it should be. It's all wrong. Who is in charge of this? Who can we talk to? I don't know. Archimedes, who was it?

But I feel to say, like, I like winter a lot, but by the time February rolls around, I'm like, you get out of here. Too much winter. Come on, Groundhog, give me something good. I shake him. Come on, come on, come on. I blow a kiss out of my shake,

and I roll him down the craps table. But you love summer. I love it. I'm at the beach as much as possible. There's sand, so much sand in my house. Yeah. So you have a little one. Yeah.

And so that's Sand Central taken. Yeah, I mean, it's mostly me, but it is nice to have someone to sort of shift the blame when the house is gone. Right, yeah, okay. We both have sand in our diapers. the blame. Right, yeah, okay. When the house is... You have sand... We both have sand in our diapers.

Uh-oh. Whoopsies. Are we going diaper-free at the beach? We all are. Yeah. Oh, awesome. I hope we all are. Well, you know, hope all you can.

Look, I don't want to look for that bathroom when I'm at the beach. No. I just want wanna chill on the beach. And then into the ocean when the time. Yeah, exactly, exactly. But if I don't make it on time. You live not far from the beach, is that right? I'm like equidistance between two great beaches. Okay.

And what is that distance? And what is your address? How long do you drive beach, walk beach, bike beach? I'm walking, I'm biking, I'm running, because I can't wait to get to the beach. You're running to the beach. I'm sprinting to the beach on a regular basis. Do you have a picnic?

Sometimes I picnic. Yeah. I got a beer, I got my beach snacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think if you could walk to the beach. You would love summer. You would love summer, yeah. That's the ticket.

Have either of you ever taken a cooler to the beach? Because I feel like that's peak summertime, bringing a that's the ticket. Do you have either of you ever taken a cooler to the beach? Cuz I feel like that's peak summertime bringing a cooler to the beach I've got a backpack that is a cooler backpack that I think that counts. Okay, but I'm picturing like the 80s style Yeah, it has to be turquoise. That's really red Yeah, yeah Lid that doesn't lock on it just kind of sit. Yeah. Do you think the igloo company has ever been like, oh is this, is this name, is this cultural appropriation? What would they have to change it to though?

You don't know who owns that company. I don't, that's true. Dave, you've got to do the work. Yeah, you have to do the work, back to the garden. All right, well what about the Yeti company? Yeah, oh yeah. That's owned by Yeti. It's Yeti owned?

Yeah, Yeti owned. We're a Yeti owned company. Yeah. But even when they go to pick up the stuff, they're like, oh, I'm going to go pick up the stuff. All right, well, what about the Yeti company? Yeah, oh yeah. That's also, that's owned by Yeti. It's Yeti owned? Yep, Yeti owned. We're a Yeti owned company. But even when they go to pick them up,

they don't see them, they're not there. They vanish or whatever. They have a person jump up. I mean, the famous photograph. David's doing a bit of an act out right now. I know, the famous video of Bigfoot. The video. I can picture that Bigfoot with a...

Briefcase? No, a cooler. Oh, cooler, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeti and Bigfoot, are they related cousins? Or is one like winter... Oh, is Yeti the abominable snowman? Yeah. Yeah, Sasquatch is.

Or is Bigfoot summer fun Yeti? Sasquatch is Yeti. Sasquatch is Bigfoot. Isn't Yeti the overall and then Sasquatch and Abominable? No, Yeti is the cold. Yeah, what's the taxonomy? Yeah, that's the Yeti. Of these mountain men.

There's never a beach one though. Well, there's Swamp Thing. There's Swamp Thing. Fucking Swamp Thing. Hot or not? Hot! I mean, we could definitely rank them. Oh, sure, okay. Sort of like a Mary Fuck Kill situation. Yeah, ooh! Hot! Hot! I mean, we could definitely rank them.

Oh, sure, okay. Sort of like a merry fuck kill situation. Yeah, ooh! Pardon my language. But what are the like... Let me just get it out of the way. I'm gonna fuck that sea monster. So slippery.

So slippery. I saw it in the shape of water, I want in. Yeah. Yeah. And then the other two, whatever, whatever. They can bury each other for like, here. I don't wanna have to kill any of them. No. I just wanna fuck them all.

Aw. Can we play fuck, fuck, fuck? Absolutely. I played a variation of that game one time where it was marry, fuck, kill, brother. Like you have four characters and you're like, one of them, you know, you don't feel romantic towards that all, you don't wanna murder them, you don't feel romantic towards that all. You don't want to murder them.

You don't want to sleep with them. It's just. It's kind of a brother. It's a nice relationship. Do you have a brother? I do. I do. And you don't want to sleep with him?

I chose brother for him. Who's your brother? This is my brother. Dracula or who is, who have you made your brother in these games? Oh, well, I was. Genghis Khan. I was in a cabin. This is really, when I say I play this game,

I play this game one time. We were at a cabin and there were sort of these little old fishermen carved heads on the wall. Those are so weird. And one of them we went to marry. One of them. Is there a chance you were at Mount Rushmore when you thought they were old fishermen?

Yeah. Who are these guys? Yeah, there was a- Why are we carving things into mountains? Who is on Mount Rushmore? Sasquatch? Yeah. Oh, from the three stooges. I think I could name three of them, but I don't know.

It's Washington Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, and a fourth one. I can't fact check you on this. There's no way to know. Does that mean there's time, like it's time to freshen things up? Yeah, maybe it's time to freshen things up. They did, somebody made a joke in the press saying like, Joe Biden could be on the Mount Rushmore.

And that person was like, what are you talking about? She's like, we don't have to take one of them down. We could just add Joe Biden to Mount Rushmore. Like a late season, like a late addition to a 11 cast on a sitcom. I do think they could. The Urkel. Yeah.

Yes. They could change whatever the fourth one is to a more recognizable president. Just like the way that like a tattoo artist will cover up your regrettable tattoo. Yeah, just add like a hat or a mustache or something. So the new person you'd have to add would sort of need maybe something.

Yeah, so who's the new, yeah. And we got to like. You just have to find like a Lincoln impersonator. Yeah. That you have to put on the mountain. Now speaking. Is he even on it? Yeah, Lincoln's on it.

Lincoln's on it, absolutely. Oh my God, I know where you're going. You. Speaking of Lincoln. Yeah, you're a part of a wrestling promotion. Kind of a dynasty in a way. Yeah, there's a dynasty in which one of the wrestlers is a, speaking of Lincoln, yeah, you're a part of a wrestling promotion. Kind of a dynasty in a way. Yeah, it is a dynasty in which one of the wrestlers

is Abraham Lincoln. Is Lincoln, yeah. I can't take the credit for it. This is my husband, Max Mitchell. He runs it and talks about it all the time. And so I just know everything about it. Yeah, and the wrestling promotion is called. Oh, sorry, Boom Pro Wrestling. And who's feuding with who?

Who's Abraham Lincoln feuding with? Oh God. Abraham Lincoln was a wrestler before he was a politician. Man, didn't he fight a bear? He feels like he would have fought a bear. No, it's Davey Crockett. Oh, Davey Crockett. He recently had a feud with a sort of evil cult leader

and defeated him in a loser leaves time match. So he threw the cult leader through a time machine and hopefully we never see him again. But who's to say? defeated him in a Loser Leaps time match. So he threw the cult leader through a time machine and hopefully we never see him again. But who's to say. All right, all right. It's really fun, it's really stupid. You have to come.

Yeah, you've been before, Graham. I've been before, I love it. I've been a lot as well, but I go in disguise. In the show. Yeah, he's the one sitting in the Lucha Libre. Yeah. I'm on top of a little kid's shoulders in a giant trench coat. Yeah. I'm on top of a little kid's shoulders in a giant trench coat.

Yeah. I'm actually end up being shorter. Yeah. It's, have you been at everyone? Almost everyone. Yeah. I'm often working the bar. I like to have a little job when I'm there.

So that's nice. Yours is fun. Like there's a show on Crave called The Dark Side of the Ring and there's the other end of it where it's like barbed wire. Yeah, there's no barbed wire. Smashing through fluorescent lights. No, we don't do that. Yeah, right? We don't do that there.

It's more of a Saturday morning cartoon kind of vibe. Yeah, that's true. You're like classic 80s, 90s WWF, Doink the Clown era. Yeah, that's right. Yes, yes, yes. I was walking my dog the other day, and people just put out like old things that they don't want in their house anymore.

Like, and they'll put a free sign on it and someone put out this table and I was like, I could picture wrestlers just smashing through this table. Max was like, we should probably get a minivan cause like just in case I'm like driving around and I see a table. I was like, that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to buy a new vehicle.

Hear me out. Yeah. and I see a table. I was like, that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to buy a new vehicle. But yeah. Hear me out. Yeah. The, oh, I've watched a video and I don't know if this is an actual fact, but the first time that a wrestler was thrown to the root table, they didn't saw it to make it smash in the middle.

So it just kind of sagged because it was, I guess, vinyl. Too nice a table. Yeah, it was too nice a table. Like just a beautiful. It's like living room table. mahogany. They left the leaf in.

They talk about like how manufacturing is, quality control has gone down in recent years, but that's only good for the wrestling community. For the wrestling community. They really just wanna smash through things. Yeah, they want chairs. Oh, to be, who was the first person to use the chair? Innovator.

It was probably a rocking chair. Put him on Mount Rushmore. Yeah. Or her, but it was him. No, but you know, it could have been Luna Vachon. Could have been. Yeah. Could have been.

Scary Sherry. These are some wrestlers. Mula, Mula, the fabulous Mula. So, and you're also, if people don't know, you're the head of a gosh darn magazine. Can you believe it? I can believe it. You do a great job.

Thank you. Thank you, Vancouver Magazine. Get your free subscription. Vanmick.com slash subscribe. The subscriptions are free? They're free. Holy shit. Get a print magazine to your home.

First we're talking about free tables that you can pick up in a minivan. Now we're talking about free magazines. It's a circular economy. Is it possible I subscribe to this by accident? I hope so. I've just gone through the phone book. Every address I can think of.

And so when you were first on our show, you were a plucky reporter and you would write about Vancouver, what was it called? City Informer. City Informer. I still do it. Do you Informer. City Informer. I still do it. Do you? Yes. And you do.

I'm running out of mysteries though, so I really need. Yeah, local, like, not like. Not like murder. Murder mysteries. Not murder mysteries. Nothing sad like the ongoing foot mystery that we did. Yes, yeah. Although I'd like somebody to crack that story.

We did get a. Did you get a tip? Yeah, from this Quinton someone. Is that what your hotline is actually for? It's not tip? Yeah, from this Quinton someone. Hahaha! Is that what your hotline is actually for? It's not for overheards, it's for... Yeah, it's for... Foot tips.

It's for foot tips. I've come... I've turned the corner on Quinton Tarantino's foot fetish. You're into it now? That's your fetish. I'm into the foot fetish. It's his foot fetish. I now feel like...

Because I feel like people are so... Some people are horny for I feel like people are so, some people are horny for feet. Some people are disgusted by feet. And some feet are horny for people. That's true. We don't talk about that in math. And Bigfoot is horny for Yeti. Aw, they're cousins.

They shouldn't be in the legend. But I feel like no body part is bad or good. Aw. Oh, that's nice. People can like what they like. Yeah is bad or good. Aw. Oh, that's nice. People can like what they like. Yeah, it doesn't. Arm pit. Arm pit, fine, everyone's got them.

Yeah, yeah, and also like, you know, of the. Spleen. Yeah, spleen's probably. Probably gross. What does it do? Nobody knows. Nobody knows. I think they know. There's no way to find out.

That's what's sad. But like foot fetish is probably, probably the most benign fetish. Yeah, not hurting anybody. It's a- And there's wiki feet, you know? Some people, I get, people DM me all the time for feet pics. Yeah, and?

Like they're giving them or they're asking for them? Asking for their offering money. Do it, I say. Yeah. I got a bad blister at the. Do it, I say. I got a bad blister at the moment. Oh, you got extra for that. Maybe that's, yeah. Unexplained too.

It's not from like a- It's not from working out or anything. It's not from a shoe that I'm breaking in. Oh, summer's the worst time. You're just teasing the feet people now. I'm not even wearing shoes. I don't wanna say you're asking for it, Dave, but. Have either of you guys been on Wikipedia ever? No, I mean, I've had the pleasure.

For about a minute. Yeah. That's all I need. It's funny that it's like, it's very well maintained as the site goes. It's very, it's a, they always have new stuff. I just know because I know somebody who's on it. And because they offer free subscriptions directly to your mailbox. Yeah, that's right. Sign you all up.

I know somebody who's there. That was their hope and they made it. How do you get on it? Like somebody else has to upload you. You can't upload your own. You don't upload your they're taking them from appearances in movies and films. Red carpet. Yeah, like they're existing photos. They're taking them from appearances in movies and films. Red carpets. Yeah, like their existing photos. I don't think you sent it. So it's cropped out of like a Getty image,

red carpet picture. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So step one. Get invited to red carpet. Yeah, okay, got it. Step two. Okay, okay, strappy sandals. How do I find myself on the red carpet?

Pretend to be a photographer. Okay. Yeah, they get to be close. Oh, and then you sneak on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just quickly, just put out the one leg with the nice shoe on it. Yeah, you're wearing sort of a Jessica Rabbit style gown.

Sparkly, just like that? Yep. I remember that when I was a kid. The dress was sparkly. It's beautiful. But like, how did they do that? How did they animate the sparkles? Yeah, how did they get so sparkly?

That's the most impressive part of the animation of the film, I think. Yeah, oh, that movie, fantastic. We talked about how your friend had it on the laser disc. Yes, because there was a rumor when I was a child that if you went frame by frame, there was a naked Jessica Rabbit somewhere in the film. There was not, but we went through. But we tested it.

We used that laser disc to its full possibilities. Oh my God. Did you, were you a big Roger Rabbit fan? Laser disc fan? No, I found it a little creepy. Yeah, me too. Like I think it was the baby. Oh.

Baby Herman? Yeah, and the, when the guy melts in the toxic bucket. Yeah, I think so, but I do also get it mixed up with Raiders of the Lost Ark melting. But I think I, yeah, I'm not even sure I saw the whole thing. That's probably the top three meltings in movies. Roger Abbott, Indiana Jones, and The Witch from Wizard of Oz

are the top three liquid melting scenes. I'm open to a fourth. Although, did she really melt or did she just say she was melting? Oh, that's true. Did you see it? I mean, you saw her shrink down. Frame by frame.

If you do frame by frame, she's naked. Is it? And you know what? That green everywhere. Everywhere. Does she melt? Is it just her shadow shrinks or is it, I forget this.

No, she shrinks down so like she gets water and then stuff starts smoking and she slowly melts into the ground and then she's just a puddle. You know who else is green and started smoking? Shrek. The mask. Oh man, are we in the summer of Shrek or what? Holy cow.

Again or still? Still, still, yeah. Endless Shrek summer. Yeah. Do you, what's your favorite summertime thing? That's my favorite Shrek. Well yeah, which one is your favorite Shrek? Let's get that out of the way.

I've only seen the first one. So I guess that. Well, that'll remedy itself with you having a child. You'll get to see all the Shrek. We'll get to see the Shrek. If you're afraid of summer, yeah, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice

cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice Yeah, well you that'll remedy itself with you having a child you'll get to see all the Maybe you're afraid of summer Yeah, um It's I eat ice cream so much. It's like ice cream twice a week into the ocean three times a week. I've got a very Prescription for fun. That's yeah. Yeah, what's uh, do you have a go-to flavor? You're free and loose with every time you go to get ice cream I don't know or like what you feel about you know, free Z's popsicles

Free the popsicles popsicles. I can mess with the popsicles shave ices. No shave ice. That's nonsense. Yeah, okay Yeah, there there's a new place that just opened up that where up where they blend the fruit right into the soft serve right in front of you. But they only have one machine that does it and it's very slow and so there's signs everywhere. Like they just opened but there's already signs everywhere that's like, please be patient. Like we're going as fast as we can.

Oh, we have this great idea but too many people like it. Yeah. So the guy's operating it like so stressed like going as fast as he can but it's supposed to be a fun Retreat fun. He's this he hates summer. I bet yeah, we got a bet do you think there's an ice cream place? I frequent and it's all Kind of teenagers running it. I'm just like boy. Oh boy. There there are all sorts of crushes happening here They're having a real good summer. They're getting paid.. I think they're getting strong because of the ice cream.

So they all have crushes on each other. Oh my God, you've really changed over the summer. Just one of your arms though. I remember I used to, so I would walk to school every day and walk home and there was a 7-Eleven between my house and my school. And I would get a Slurpee every day in the deep of winter, in the, you know, the bird and bee of spring. Yes. Certainly in the falling leaf of fall. And the frost between them.

Yeah, the, oh my God. Frost. And I would, and then in the summer, school would be, you know. It was out. Out for summer. And people would, I'd go to 7-Eleven and the Slurpees would be terrible because so many people were using them. And it's, I guess hard to, when it's really hot out, it's hard to keep the consistency. The regulator syrup, I guess. Yeah. And then I remember thinking,

ugh, all these literal fair weather fans of Slurpees. I haven't had a Slurpee yet this summer. Holy shit. Okay. There's still time. There's. Okay. There's still time. There's still time. There's still time. There's too much time. We haven't until September 21st.

Yes, and then? Winter Slurpee. We're in frost. No, pumpkin spice. Oh, pumpkin spice. I think they got Slurpee. I think pumpkin spice, they start pumpkin spice earlier and earlier too.

Is that the thing? Pumpkin spice Slurpee, thoughts. Thoughts? Maybe that's the drink of flummer. A flummer. Oh God, I can drink of, flummer. A flummer. Oh God, I can't wait for flummer. They do sometimes have- To do all the traditional flummer things.

Yes, of course, the carols, the costumes. They do sometimes have at like whatever, 7-Eleven or convenience stores, like a coffee flavored slurpee. That's not, that's in the slurpee area, not in the like separate iced coffee area. Like who is this for? Yeah, and then a little 10 year old.

Just buzzin'. With like a 80s cell phone. Talk to me. Go for Bobby. When you see, you go to Starbucks and after school, it's inundated by teens. Are they drinking coffee or are they just drinking the fancy drink without the coffee in it? Are they drinking like a mocha but decaf? No, I don't want coffee.

Well, the big thing is you can get a water for free in a cup. Oh, nice. So you just go there and hang out and just drink a water. But there's also so many like, you know, strawberry, lemonade, peach guava, the smasher. When did you guys start drinking coffee? If you do, if you don't mind me asking. As a teenager, because I couldn't stay awake in the morning. Sure, it stunted my growth. I should have been a basketball player,

but I smoked cigarettes and drank coffee. That was the choice I made. Yeah, as a teen, 15, 14, 15. Wow, I was 23 or four. Yeah, yeah. Just because it was like, well, I'm an adult now. Yeah, here. Wow. I was 23 or four. Yeah. Yeah. Just because it was like, well, I'm an adult now. Yeah, here we go.

I had a French teacher in high school who was like, you're not allowed to yawn in class. Like it's disrespectful if you yawn. So did you have a bunch of people like. Just holding it, letting it like go through your whole body. Like you can't get rid of it. Just like your body having a full body tremor. In French class? This is better.

Mon dieu. Conjugate these verbs and be excited about it. I think yawning is, but just doing one of those like, bleh, like that's disrespectful. Punching the other two people on either side of you. That was the problem. All the students were just pummeling, flailing. Oh man.

I know it's, they say it's contagious. And just the idea that I like- Now you wanna do it. That's your pressure. What's the French word for yawn? Shna-poo-pah. Poo-pah, poo-pah. Because I can't do it.

Shna-poo-pah. We can't even talk about it. Were you guys watching the Olympics? Yes. Can't stop. Yeah. I have an Olympics question I've been posing to people. Okay.

And it is if Canada was like, we need one more, we're one person short. You can do any sport. You don't have time to train. You're getting on the plane tomorrow. What would it be? Keeping in mind that this will be part of Olympics history forever and you will probably be part of like a blooper reel Okay, so the but what is it known that I'm yeah, all eyes are on me. Yeah Big part of the press release

CBC's all over those. I mean, I'm gonna have to go with you know Power lifting I guess I want to you know, yeah There's many of those discs on there as possible. Sure. Or whatever, do they have like a grocery bag? Oh, yeah. Part of it. Oh. How many grocery bags can you carry from the car

to the door? I would try shooting. I would try something where it was like not. Yeah, where you get to do that all the time. Yeah, it's not like I don't have to be fast. Or let anybody down, you know, your teammates. Yeah, and if they get mad, hey, I got that gun, you know? Cocked to the gun, I say.

How many points did I get? And he's pointing the gun at the judges once again. Ten, ten, ten! Fill this bag with points. And all your medals, you just hold up everyone on the podium. I grand won the Olympics, all of it, every category. What would you do? I was thinking, like, there's a trampolining category.

Yeah, oh yeah. And Canada has won it twice, I think. We're so gifted. I think that would be, you could try it and do it, like, kind of as long as you wanted, from what I could tell. So I think that would just be a fun experience. Can you do a front flip, back flip? No, just up and down.

Yeah, can you do crack the egg? No. Yeah, dude. That's me, calm bouncing, trying not to pee, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, that is one of the criteria. It's harder on mothers. Yeah.

There should be a mother's unit. Yeah, exactly. Or maybe that shows you did a really good job. Like you bounced so hard that your pelvic floor just let her rip. Or dive. I kept thinking diving might be fun too because you can't screw it up so soon. You get to accomplish the whole thing. You go from start to finish no matter how badly you do it, but everyone's like, you

could die. Yeah. Well, not on the really small one. Yeah, okay. But I wonder about that, because I like, if you're swimming, you can have events all week. Yeah. Like if you show up and you're bad at judo, do you lose one and go home? Pretty much.

Or just get to have a Parisian vacation. Yeah. Maybe being the worst person at the Olympics, it's actually awesome. There's a story, it's about a woman who made it to the Olympics in skiing and it like the half pipe style of skiing. And she just did like what the, like the bare minimum, like the easiest routine you

could possibly do. And she entered herself in competitions and slowly just like she placed because people would be trying harder things and failing, but she always hit the exact same score no matter where she went. And so then she had enough of those credits to put in for the Olympics and she became in the very last Olympian in. She finished last in her category, but she still got to say, I'm an Olympian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's so inspiring. Me too. There's a way. Just show up.

Yeah, don't try too hard. Yeah. Don't don't show up. Just show up don't show off I know exactly. What would you do? I think something like the BMX That'd be rad. Cuz it's like oh yeah bike racing I'd get tired. Yeah, but the BMX. You just stop halfway through have a little snack. Yeah BMX I would do that thing of like, okay go off a off a jump, whoa. And like everyone else is doing spins and stuff. I'm just landing, trying to land anyway. I mean, I'll probably land

because I'm not getting that much air. Yeah, yeah, you'll be fine. And you get to wear a helmet so you hide your identity. It'll be like, who's that guy who keeps screwing around? Not me, not my helmet. My helmet's got my face on the side. My phone number. It is like when the first week watching

and there's so many events happening at the same time and the events really kind of just get like five minutes to show off how good they are. Oh yeah. Like if you're going through and like I watched skateboarding and there was like a lull in it. And I was like, this is boring. And then like women's rugby,

this is the greatest sport I've ever seen. It's so exciting. Yeah, I could, I really could, I could just like, you know, randomly pick and just enjoy watching whatever sport it is. The only one that I think is like kind of boring are like super distance things. Like your marathons and your long distance. I think is like kind of boring or like super distance things. Yeah.

Like your marathons and your long distance swims. I think they usually do the marathon is the final event of the Summer Olympics. And so it ends in the stadium as the like, like right before they do the closing ceremony. That's dramatic. Yeah. How much do you want to bet

that during the closing ceremonies, Daft Punk makes an appearance? Oh yeah, who are the French people who didn't do it in the first? Yeah, when I was like, I'm very surprised because they've got that song that they play at all the events. We love French.

Harder, stronger, faster. Two, three, four. We love French. No yawning allowed. Yeah, you guys think it's possibly? Yeah, it could be Daft Punk, could be Justice, could be Air, any of the big French electronics. Even if Daft Punk doesn't come,

you could just have someone who could dress up like them. Exactly. It would be so easy to fake. It could be me in my BMX helmet. Yeah. At the end of the closing ceremonies, Exactly. It would be so easy to fake. It could be me in my BMX helmet. At the end of the closing ceremonies, they kind of do like a video that throws to the next city. So I just remember it vividly for some reason, like throwing to Sochi.

This is going to be the next place with Sochi, and they did like a little video. The video that happens after this is going to be Tom Cruise doing a live stunt off of the Hollywood sign because it's going to Los Angeles Okay. Yeah, so If I buy the time, I don't know if my own tell on this is correct But by the time this episode is out people will know yeah if you were right around if Tom Cruise is alive anymore That's that is how he wants to die. We can all Yeah up on top of Making love to the Hollywood set.

Yeah, that's what he's gonna do. It's gonna be blurred now, but you're gonna know. That is a stunt. You can't deny that. Try doing that with CGI. I don't think so. I dare you. I dare you. I remember when the Vancouver one ended, the Vancouver Olympics, like the closing ceremonies are not as big as the opening ceremonies. No.

And I think it just ended with- Just Peter's out, everyone's like, yeah, I'm good, does anybody need a ride? I think it ended with a Nickelback concert. It did it? I think so. Yeah, that does sound like something we'd do. And then, yeah, was it people like putting on their coats

and being like, let's meet the Travis. Yeah. This is- Half the seats are empty. Everyone's trying to find their car. something we'd do. And then, yeah, was it people like putting on their coats and be like, let's meet the traffic? Half the seats are empty. Everyone's trying to find their car. There are some events where I'm like, there's a lot of empty seats at these events. Could you get a discount ticket? Or is it everybody's fan? It's funny. It's like watching the tennis, there's so many empty seats like right behind where they're playing, but then the rest of the stadium is full. So I feel like those are just like super rich people who just bought to consider. I don't want to go. Did you guys, if you watch any of the rock climbing?

Yes. It's fascinating. It's fast. Yeah, it's fast. Well, I was looking at the Boulder one where they have to kind of spider over things, but there's four of them happening all at the same time. So you're like, I don't the one on the far left seems to be doing, oh, what's this one on the right doing? They've added so many sports in the last few years.

How did they fill two weeks in like 1950? Was everyone just slower? Like is everybody so much better at their sports with, you know, technology and coaching or whatever that they're like, oh, these swimmers are so fast. There's all these new records being set. Yeah. Uh-oh, we've got some dead air here.

What do we do? Bring out the trampolines. Yeah. Yeah. And also how popular, in how many countries does a sport have to be popular in to make it an Olympic possible? Well, they got rid of women's ski jumping?

They started with women. It's just gotten too much trouble. Because they said that women, the competitive ski jumping only existed for women in like three countries. Right. So it's not. So let's just keep it for men. But he's living in hell.

Eddie the Eagle is an example of someone who got into the bottom of the Olympics. How did he, did he just do it naturally or was he trying to be the last? I didn't see the movie. Me neither. How do you submit to the Olympics? You the last? I didn't see the movie. Me neither. How do you submit to the Olympics? You said this. I'm very submissive. Yeah.

You send in a headshot and a resume. A video where you're like, here's my hands. Stacey McLaughlin, 5'3". I think it's just you're like, it's all about qualifying, qualifying, qualifying. I think you're always training as, or maybe not. Are you training as Team Canada? No. I think-

It's only after you get accepted to the Olympic. I think that whatever the Olympic committee, they rely on, you know, Canada volleyball and Canada basketball to fill out their own squadrons and they- Right. I guess. So you're invited, you don't get, there's no like application, there's no like LinkedIn thing. Well, the thing is like all these people know each other.

Like they're all like competing around the world all the time in whatever their event is. And then this is just another thing where we actually watch it. It must be so fun. Like you just get to go on a big, like to get to be part of it. There's probably fun dinners.

Like outside of actually doing the sport, you're like, oh, I'm on vacation with all my people. I'm in Paris. Yeah. I can lift all sorts of things here that I couldn't at home. Because the gravity is so different. So Stacey, you, you're city informer, Colin. Yeah, sorry.

So a few of the things I remember that you tracked down the McBarge Yes, you figured out what goes on in those rooms above the bar art bridge. Yes, what's what's new? What's new? I just wrote about Tinseltown which is a mall here in Vancouver that we all call it. I assume we all call it tinsel Yeah, yeah, also known as international village mall and as you guys probably know, it's always empty Oh, how does it survive was my question. How does a mall that has like 50% vacancy survive for like 25 years?

You see movies there all the time and the parking lot is free. That no one, I see people going to pay and I said, look at the sign, you get two hours of free parking. It says, please stay, please. Yeah, it's also kind of, it's on the border of like downtown East side and it's-

Chinatown. And when was it, was it around when you were a youth? It was the 90s. 90s, okay. It opened in like 99 or 2000 or something like that. I remember I saw the first X-Men movie there. Nice, shot here. But I learned that the reason it can still exist

is because there's a bunch of condos on top. Like it's very obvious what you think about it, but it's like actually the mall is sort of a secondary revenue stream for whoever owns the building. So it's just gonna continue to be empty and boring because nobody really cares about making it vibrant. But do check out the Cat Cafe. Check out the Cat Cafe.

They've got a taco time. Many cell phone kiosks. If your phone is broken. My phone is kinda out the Cat Cafe. They've got a taco time. Many cellphone kiosks. If your phone is broken. My phone is kinda on the fritz. Go explore. They have a board game shop. They have a 7-Eleven. They don't anymore, I don't think.

Shit. Listen, the Slurpee, you're sort of the Slurpee connoisseur here. Well, this was mostly from going to movies. You can go to 7-Eleven and get your snacks. But now everything's, honestly, movie theater food is no more expensive than any grocery store. Yeah.

I still like sneaking it in. It's part of the fun, right? And there's no pre-court. Ooh, I'm bad. Yeah, like the fact that there was some point in time that they were like, ushers make sure that nobody gets in here without their candy.

Yeah, hey, you're 16-year year old Usher, go confront that guy. Pat him down. Do a stop and frisk. Do you sneak candy into the movie theater? I'm not really a candy gal, but I will bring. What about a savory? Chip or something. Sure, okay.

The thing is popcorn. But I like a popcorn. Yeah, popcorn's so good. I'm mostly there for the popcorn. What's the last movie you saw in the theater? It's been a while? Yeah. It's been a minute?

Yeah, a little rusty. All the life, maybe Barbie. I guess it was last summer, wasn't it? Yeah. Barbenheimer, we all experienced it. Yeah, that's true. I saw them back to back. I have a thrilling eye.

I saw them on two. Simultaneously. Simultaneously, I saw them back to back. I have a thrilling eye. I saw them on two. Simultaneously. Simultaneously. I had one eye on each. I had special goggles made. Yeah. No, but you know, everybody out there, go to the movies. You know, Martin Scorsese would say so. Uh-huh.

Go experience the movies live, you know? Live. Yeah, the way they were meant to be seen. Barbie style. Yeah. I love movies. I loved meant to be seen Barbie style. Yeah I love Why I try to go to the one of our neighborhood as much as possible, but I didn't want to see long legs Oh, it's so good. Is it? Yeah, it's good scary movie. It's it's scary I just really liked it. It's supposed to be a yeah, it's a horror

It is a host to me, but I mean like I've become a bit of a horror movie snob. Whoa. Yeah. And the great thing about it is Nicholas Cage is in it, but you would never know he was in it. Are they his long legs? He's long legs. Yeah.

So it's only shot from the waist down? Yeah, so you wouldn't know. We have, so Abby's Aunt Sheila was staying with us for a while and she said, oh, I want to go see that long legs. And I was like, oh, Abby didn't want to go. And then Abby did think she would go. So I ended up not going, but one night before they,

like a couple of days before they decided to go, they were just sitting on our front patio and we have a doorbell camera with a microphone thing. And I saw it just in the middle, like they were out there at midnight. And I went, it's me, Long Legs. And so we started talking to each other in that voice. And then they saw the movie and came back

and they were like, that voice isn't that far off. How did you know? Did you know that was the voice? And I was like, no, I'm doing like Mr. Burns when he's the alien. There's a thing that he does in it where he covers his eyes like this. For the homeless.

Yeah. Graham's doing sort of like this. Crisscross applesauce. Sort of like what Lady Gaga used to do. Yeah, yeah. She would do a weird. But like covering each eye. Anyway, Sally does that all the time.

It freaks me out. I don't like it. I don't like it. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, other than having Olympic fever. Yeah, that's basically what I have as well. There's no cure. And this will all, I won't miss it when it's over.

Yeah. I love it. I watch it an hour to a day. I won't miss it when it's over. Like I love it. I watch an hour to a day. I will just have it on. Just be constantly on throughout the day. The CBC Jam app, as maligned as it is, it's wonderful. Yeah, it's true. Cause you can pick whatever sport.

Oh great. Yeah. I wonder if it'll still be up after it's over. If you watch reruns. If we watch old, well, cause you can watch, you know, I can watch something from four days ago. Did, when Allie Entwistle was on a few weeks ago, did she talk about how she rewatched the entire

like 2016 Olympics during COVID? No. How? I downloaded it, I don't know. She bought the box set. She was just so sad that the 2021 didn't happen, that she's like, okay, I've got my Olympic fevers bubbling up, we gotta go.

Yeah. I love that very much. It was a troubling time for us all. It was hard. It was hard. Yeah, looking back. I mean, COVID numbers are still way up. Yeah, that's true, not over, but people wanna say. But yeah. But yeah, it's-

But give us our Olympics. Yeah, if you like a sport in the Olympics, how do you find it the rest of the year? Yeah, how do I watch hammer throwing? Well, yeah, where's hammer throwing at? Well, because they have whatever championship, like, people show up at the Olympics and it says, oh, he's a four time world champion of hammer throwing.

Like, they held- What world? Theytime world champion of hammer throwing. Like, what world? They held world championships and I wasn't there. No one told me, no one invited me. Is it like a... I didn't get an e-vite? You know, it's just, you want to be, I don't want to come, but I do like to, you know, being invited. Because there's certain athletes who like have a day job and then there's certain athletes

who have a job where they get to be an athlete for their job. Yeah, yeah. But if you're a hammer thrower, are you? Yeah, is that full time? You work at Home Depot? Yeah. Hey, Kush, that seems like a good place to work, actually. That's what I mean.

Yeah. And this year, we have a hammer throw gold in the men's and the women's. Yeah, and Canada, I mean, I've always loved hammer throw as a Canadian. Yeah, yeah, well, I mean, we have hockey night in Canada. And then- Hammer throw night in Canada. Where do you practice that?

In a field, hopefully. Yeah. Not downtown. Mom, dad, I'm going to the park. You bring your brother, he's got a hammer too. He gets the- Well, there's guys who play cricket in Douglas Park every Sunday. And I don't know if they have a permit that everyone else needs to clear out, but it's their park.

It's so dangerous. Well, it's not that it's dangerous, it's just like, well, this is our park and what are you going to do about it? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, all right. Is High-Li a part of the Olympics? No, but it's the most dangerous sport. It is the most dangerous sport.

I bet I could think of something more dangerous. Oh yeah, totally. Fire shark. Fire shark? Ball. Fire shark ball. Fire shark ball. What's the, how do you score a point?

Women's division. You have to light a shark on fire. Whoa, you have to catch it first? Which is really hard. Are they provided? Because they're underwater, they're really wet. Are they provided? Yeah, you catch your, it's BYO Shark.

BYO Shark. Okay. So it's months long, this game. It's also really boring, it's really dangerous and it's really boring to watch. That's why it's not in the Olympics. Yeah, oh, congratulations. It's not, like they have these sports,

these horse events where, you know, it's BY or equestrian. Oh yeah, they don't just have standard horse. The horses have to qualify separately. It's BYO horse. Oh, that'd be crazy if you were like... Well, no, there is. Oh, dressage would be a good one to just show up and do. Well, I think part of...

Because the horse probably knows what's going on. You would just be like, like okay i'm here to do my sport now yeah they um what do you what do you call it uh modern pentathlon yeah that is it's all five skills oh that's fun about being like a prisoner of war or like a trap behind enemy lines okay so it's like shooting sword fighting tap. I think it's like some kind of running and you ride an unfamiliar horse. Ooh. Oh, okay.

So you're like, wait a minute, this horse has one wheel. This is three legs and one wheel. This is very, I don't know. But it has to be unfamiliar. The horse can't be like, hey, didn't we go to high school together? Didn't we do the world championship together? It seems more like an escape room than a...

Oh, when's that gonna be Olympic sport? 2020. I mean, get rid of dressage. Yeah, get rid of dressage, probably. Oh yeah, marry, fuck, kill Olympic sports. You know I'm gonna get married to synchro swimming, for sure. It is, I mean, how did they show you that before underwater cameras? Yeah, yeah, it's good. It was really good down there.

Yeah, that's a good question. I mean, it was always, wasn't it always hot view? Well, I think you're thinking of the movies of whatever, not Ethel Merman. The only bonnet. Who's that lady from old tiny movies? Ethel Merman. Is that lady from old timey movies? Ethel Merman. Is it Ethel Merman? Ethel Mermaid, I think.

That's why I think that. No, it's like, ah, damn it. Carol Channing? Okay, we're gonna Google. But you guys keep on. Oh, I, yeah. Keep thinking of sports you'd fucking kill. I'd marry,

Oh, I'd, yeah, I'd. Keep thinking of sports you'd fucking kill. I'd marry, um. This is hard to think about. Swim old movie star. What, my Google search is no internet. Oh, okay. Well, didn't want to be found. Big cut off, yeah.

Yeah, okay, I'm gonna turn on my wifi. Yeah, what's the. Yeah, what's the sexiest word? Doesn't want it. Oh, there you go. Esther Williams. That was close. Yeah, that was close.

It may as well be Ethel Merman. Ethel Merman, Esther Williams, sure. Some old lady's yelling at her iPhone right now. So you would, which one? Sorry, Mary, ring, whatever the one hang from the ring? Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it seems like that takes a lot of dedication. We could just do Mary Fackel, the gymnastics apparatuses. Oh, yeah. Okay, nerded. Gotta get my hands on that pommel horse, you know what I mean? Woo-wee. Well, the actual, okay, so the actual apparatus.

Yeah, the apparatus. So not the practice. Yeah, not the people eating. Yeah, the apparatus. Not the people eating. I think I would probably fuck the floor because I do that anyway. What else is there? Sort of the horse thing, mat thing. The vault, the uneven bars, the even bars. They're different in men's and women's.

The balance beam. The balance beam. Ribbon. Yeah, that's rhythmic. You wanna bring in, we watched some of that this morning. Marry a ribbon. I like during those dance, the like, you know, floor gymnastics

where they're doing a dance, they're like, dance for a little bit, then walk to a corner, sprint across, do a bunch of flips, do a little more dance. Try to work it into like, it's all sort of- A narrative. Yeah, man, god damn the Olympics, you know? God damn the Olympics.

Boy, I would marry that Esther Williams. Look at her huffle huffle. What are they gonna have a Flummer Olympics? That's what I wanna know. He he he he he he he. Pumpkin kick. He he he he he he. He he he he he he.

Ha ha ha. You know, flannel, luge. What do you guys think about smashing, not the band smashing pumpkins, but just the activity of smashing an old pumpkin? Is it disgraceful? It was my teenage self and friends living for it, smashing pumpkins.

Max loves to smash pumpkins, and I think it's so messy. It is messy, yeah. I wouldn't smash my own. I would go around the neighborhood, live with my friends. No, but then who has to clean that up? Well, here's so messy. It is messy, yeah. I wouldn't smash my own. I would go around the neighborhood. No, but then who has to clean that up? Well, I usually wait for them to rot, or what we usually do is buy them too early and they rot by Halloween.

Yes. And then- That's your treat. And then carry them on a shovel because they're all juicy and gross, into the green bin, even with a candle inside. Maybe the candle's biodegradable. I don't know it's wax you know comes from where's wax come bees bees wax mm-hmm where does wax come from anybody come on city informer I used to

work on a bee farm so I actually have lots of information about this I would like some information please bees waxeswax comes from bees. But like is it the stuff in the honeycomb? Is that the wax? It's like what the honeycomb is, they make comb to hold the honey but the comb itself is made mostly of honey and like an enzyme that they produce like in their brains.

And anyways, they spit it out and it becomes the comb. Wow. That's amazing. Like you just have to think of it out of your brain. Yeah, yeah, basically. And there was a lot of like pro beeswax rhetoric happening at Honey Bee Center, of course. So we were always like paraffin candles.

That's basically made from petroleum oil. You're essentially just burning petroleum in your house, poisoning the air. Whereas beeswax candles clean the air because. Because of bees. Because I farted. Yeah. Really? Yeah, but I don't know how soy and coconut wax come to be.

No, same. Maybe the bees are also doing a little. Yeah, a little this, a little that. Anyway, so yeah, I'm watching a lot of the Olympics. And then I also, my daughters, I've been, so yeah, I'm watching a lot of the Olympics. And then I also, my daughters, I've been, you know, we have a list of summertime activities we wanna do, they wanna do.

And I've been, we've been crossing those off the list. Watch Bluey. Watch Bluey all day. You know, go to various splash pads. Oh yeah, yeah. Go to whatever like. Do you go to a water park? Do you do something like that?

That's on the list next week. Okay. We're gonna go to the splash down. Well, Big Splash, it's called now. Yeah, right. Yeah, friggin' right. Figure out why they changed the name. How about that?

It's a good short column. Apparently, Colts's Lake is a lot better, but I'm not driving up to Colts's Lake. No, you have to go to Colts's Lake. If I go to Big Splash, then I can go to the Arby's down there. Oh, nice. Even by the pool.

Something for daddy. Anyway, so yeah, like Science World's on the list. Every time I'm like, hey, is today the day we do Science World? No, we don't want to. No Science Today. No, but you're the ones who put it on the list. I know.

I was just trying to fill out the list. And then last week it rained and I was like, what are some rainy day things on our list? So we went bowling. Bowling! Yeah, I love bowling in the rain. That's my favorite classic movie. And so we went bowling and I'm,

one of my daughters has been bowling before, the other one has not. And I'm like, oh, okay. Bowling is a great activity you do once a year. Yeah. You, you know, you bowl two games. The first game you're terrible. The second game you've kind of got the hang of it

and you start thinking, Should I? Maybe I'm a, Yeah, maybe I'm a natural bowler. Maybe I'm gonna be natural born bowler. Maybe I'm gonna be an Olympic bowler. Yeah. Which by the way, why not?

Yeah, why not? Well, just I don't think there's a lot of it in other countries bowling. I feel like it's a North American phenomenon. Maybe, no, Western Europe maybe. Anyways, I don't know. Prove me wrong everybody, prove me wrong. There's no way.

And would it be winter or summer? I mean, depends on the outfits they wanna wear, really. Yeah, there's- Bikinis. Yeah. And beach. So many of the events- Beach pool.

So many of the events are like, there's nothing particularly summery about them. I could lift weights in the winter. Yeah. Yeah, but it's, you know, people get blue in the winter. They don't wanna lift as much as they could. But in the summer, it's like, oh, go for the maximum. So winter sports are ones you could do with depression.

Is that right? OK. Yeah. Yeah. Like you can ski jump if you're depressed. That's fine. And it's continued. Yeah. So we went bowling. We did two games. We went to the Grandview view lanes on commercial drive and They I didn't know there were two floors of it

Cuz I know the main floor is ten pin right and then My daughter went to a birthday party there and the top floor is five pin and no Bowling globally. Yes, and so we did five pin glow bowling. And I'd never done the bumpers on the side before. So you can't gutter ball. And I was like, oh, this will be, I'm gonna clean up. I'm gonna crush these girls.

Let's put some money on this. Let's make this interesting. Let's put your allowance on, Let's see how this goes. In the first game, my seven-year-old Poppy, who had never bowled before, wiped the floor with us. She came in first, Margot came in second, I came in third. Wow. Whoa. I know.

I think I feel like- Humiliating. I, had gutter balls been in play, I probably, the results would have been different. Yeah. But yeah, and then by the second one, I was like, I did better. But the thing that happens were by the end, you're like, I'm actually good at this.

That didn't ever happen. Oh, really? Just stayed in a rut. Yeah. A gutter. A gutter, really? Yeah. I was at a place called Bells and Wh whistles for my nephew's birthday. Yeah, and My nephew my niece there's no there was a pac-man game Okay, and she picked it up so fast and beat everybody like by miles

But I feel like maybe because they've just screened like everything's very intuitive That seems like maybe it would be like a baby's game today. Is, you know. Like back to the future too. Yeah, yeah. Do you use your hands? Yeah, so it was, and it wasn't just luck. You could see her figuring out where the patterns were.

A like future Pac-Man Olympian. Yeah. And why not video games? The biggest sport in the world. E-sports. Yeah. I'll tell you why. I don the way it is. Now why not video games? The biggest sport in the world. E-sport. Yeah. I'll tell you why. I don't wanna watch it. Nerds.

Yeah, would it have to be a game that the Olympics made that- I wanna watch it. It'd have to be like a sport themed game. Yes. Yes. Running. Two buttons. Yeah.

So I used to have this Sega Genesis game that was the Barcelona Olympics. Oh yeah. And it was, there was a diving part where you could not figure out how you control the person. Sometimes they would do a million flips and sometimes they would just do a belly flop. Then there was, I don't know, a few other things, but one of them was sprinting. And it was just touch, like, hit the buttons as fast as you can.

And my brother figured out, if you put your hand in your shirt and just rub your shirt back and forth over the buttons, you would win every time. But the problem was there was also a hurdles version and it was a different mechanic altogether. I watched one race that I don't think I've ever watched before called the steeplechase. Yeah.

But I've never seen it before. Like, you said you had it at your high school. We had it at my high school, but I never saw it. And I kept my eyes closed the whole time. Because I thought that thing. You were smoking. Smoking, absolutely. Drinking your coffee.

Drinking coffee and smoking. I was, I was a Parisian beat poet is what I was. But then I thought that the little slanted part, I didn't know they put water in there. I thought the water had just collected. Oh, because of your high school. Yeah. But I don't know why it's there. I don't get it. Like watching the game, I'm like, why do they have to go in one water? I bet there's like a two sentence explanation at the beginning of it that the announcer's like, of course this dates back to the 12th century when.

It was just wet. Yeah, but there was often a puddle in the race track. One of the wettest centuries. Yeah, but we did have one of my high school, but I never saw it. And it's so funny because they're running. And then when you see them on the far, the distance, the track, you just see this kind of like,

it's like a worm, it goes like, and dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you're gonna be like, we don't care anymore. Well, dude. You do stop caring the instant it's over. It is, yeah. But yeah, where do you, where do you go after you're an Olympic? Where do you go? Go on. My lovely. There we go.

Do do do do do. Is that no mercy? If you say so. Anyway, check out bowling. It's great. You can get a ginger ale and... Oh yeah, ginger ale. A hot dog maybe?

Ah yeah, but I think they had hot dogs. Not gonna do it though. No. The whole place is like, you're touching other people's germs every... And there's a lot of feet. Oh yeah, the shoes. Yeah.

I didn't even bring up the shoes. Oh boy, don't let Quentin Tarantino in there. Oh yeah, the shoes. Yeah. I didn't even bring up the shoes. Oh boy, don't let Quentin Tarantino in there. Oh boy, oh boy. He'd be in hog heaven. Yeah, sniffing. Yo yo yo yo. There's his signs up behind the counter. Do not serve this man.

No, Quentin. He keeps sneaking in and smelling the shoes. So yeah, surveillance footage. Pfft. What's going on with you? A, a big fever, saw long legs. Yeah. Oh yeah. I saw long legs. That was a lot of fun because I haven't been to a horror movie in the theater for a long time. So it's fun to have people like, yeah, it's fun to like, spooky. Yeah. Like, no, no, no, no. It's a lot of that. Yeah. It's a, and there's, there's no time to kind of what happened.

Like everybody knows what happened. That person that was alive, dead now. There's not like, who was that person? Who cares? They're dead. That's an experience you don't have when you watch it at home. People are chattering. Who's that? Oh, it doesn't matter, he's dead. Agreed. But yeah, that was a lot of fun going to see that.

I don't know if I'd go see it a second time, but. Well, it's not playing anymore. Oh, is it? Not at that theater. What's playing now? This ends with us. Is that a horror movie? I don't know what it is.

It sounds like it. It does, but it also sounds like a romance. Yeah, it sounds. The cover, it. It does, but it also sounds like a romance. A romance? Yeah. It sounds, the cover, the poster makes it look like it's, maybe a bummer. It's a Blake Lively and it seems serious. Ah, no thanks. No thanks.

Bring back long legs, I say. Long legs, long legs. I only wanna make, watch movies that make me laugh. Yeah, put her in a scary movie, call her Blake Deadly. That's pretty good. That's good. There's gonna be a new scary movie coming out her Blake Deadly. That's pretty good. That's good. There's going to be a new scary movie coming out that's rebooting the franchise. Who's in it?

Or is it still the Wayans? It might be still the Wayans, but I saw a clip that had Dr. Phil in it, and I don't know if that was from one that was past scary movie or anyway. They have a lot that's been's been like a decade or more since they've made one. They've got so many things they can spoof. Yeah, so they can spoof Dr. Phil. Finally.

We've all been waiting. But I went out to a nice place for dinner with past guest and good pal, Alicia Tobin, to a place for her birthday. Wein to a place. For her birthday. For her birthday. We went to a restaurant called Acorn, which is a vegetarian restaurant. And I did, and I think I've only done this one other time in my life and I couldn't do it because most of the portions I couldn't have because of allergies. This was like a 10 dish meal where they bring over the thing, they explain what it

is, you have the thing, they bring over another thing. Oh, it was so good. But then halfway through, you're like, I don't know if I can make it. Because you know, when you're eating a plate, you're like, well, I know exactly how much is left. But if every new plate comes out, you're like, do I have it? Or if you go to a place where you order a bunch and then they bring out some of it and you're like, oh shit, can they cancel that? Oh fuck, I fucked up. Oh no, I screwed up big time. Oh my eyes are bigger than my belly.

I'm gonna be so embarrassed. But yeah, it was delicious. Oh, the best. But like I say, it's the first time that I've eaten one where I can eat all of the things. And then, cause they ask you a friend, what are you allergic to? And you're like, here's the list. Yeah, exactly.

Let me just send you a fax. Get my scroll. Yeah. But yeah, it's a... So they're like, oh, this is a red pepper. The next course, a green pepper. We're kind of... you've limited it severely. This is a green pepper and a red pepper together.

We cut it half and half. But yeah, it was fantastic. But just having that, being able to eat everything. What a thrill. Yeah. That's great. It was a thrill. I enjoyed it.

And you've only added to your list of allergies. Yes. You told them gluten this time. Yeah, gluten had to be. What a journey. What an exciting journey. It really has been, it's not annoying at all. What do you think's next?

Well, a couple of years ago it was apples, all of a sudden apples was on the docket. Can you still have cooked apples? Yeah, cooked apples I can do. I think it's maybe the skin, or maybe whatever pesticide they use on apples. Yeah. Pears, kind of in the same company, but that's fine

because pears are disgusting. They're like, fine, we don't like you either. Yeah. But have either you ever been to one of these many course meals? Yeah, I'm very lucky with work. I get to go to a lot of nice restaurants and do that. So it's the best, but they always, it's never enough pasta for my liking.

It always should just be mostly pasta courses, in my opinion, if any chefs are listening. Yeah. Here's one ravioli. It's two raviolis. You're going to boyardee's? House of boyardee? I feel for the wait staff at these places

they have to memorize so many things about it. And I don't know. And make it up. That's true. They can make it up. And I would have been like. Yeah. Sure.

They can make it rhyme. But I don't know if that's something they have to do that day or if the menu stays for like a week or something. But I was like, if it's that day, that's so much, you could be in a play with that much memorization of words. I think it is. Like I've never worked in a very fancy restaurant,

but I have watched the bear. Go on. It seems like the day, like they're like, here's our specials for the day. And then they, you try, like the way stuff tries it. And then they rattle off all about it. And then, yeah, you commit it to memory. You're off book by the time.

Yeah, and they, you know. You say it 17 times. I mean, they let off a lot of steam by constantly yelling at each other. I'll give the bearers any. Yeah, yeah. And, but yeah, I was impressed. I don't think I've, maybe I have. I mean, I don't think I've done like, yeah, I was impressed. I don't think I've, maybe I have.

I mean, I don't think I've done like, yeah, a set. Tasting menu. Tasting menu. I feel like my wife wouldn't like it. Yeah. Control issue. Oh, ooh. So yeah, I'll just have some of hers. Yeah. I'll wait have some of hers.

I'll wait in the car while she eats. No, no. But yeah, if you've ever been curious to try one of these many part meals, I endorse. What's the best one you've had? I like to go salveo volpe. Salveo volpe. Savio Volpe! And they'll give you some pasta. Some pasta.

What's your favorite pasta? While we're on the topic. I like Fusilli. Yeah, Fusilli. Because I'm silly. I don't care what kind of noodles they are, as long as there are oodles of them. Yes, he loves noodles. I don't care what kind of noodles they are, as long as there are oodles of them. Yes, he loves the noodles. They're like, I don't see noodles.

That's what they say when they're presenting the noodles tonight, there's oodles. There used to be a place called. He's been prepared in a room with oodles. There used to be a place called has to be pasta. Oh really? I love that. And I just, you know what, that's how I feel about.

Sometimes you run across a place and you're like, I think I came up with the name first and then the business later. There was a place, maybe you know what, that's how I feel about them. Sometimes you run across a place and you're like, I think I came up with the name first and then the business later. There was a place, maybe you guys remember, on Oak Street, maybe it's still there. It was a hair place and it was called Much About Hair. I was like, is that supposed to be a pun on like much ado about nothing?

Yeah. Did ado fall off? Yeah, it just says Much About Hair. Yeah, what the hell? Sounds like it was supposed to be a thing, but I couldn't quite crack it. Did you notice that there was a place on 16th and Maine for years called Hasty Market

that would constantly be vandalized to Nasty Market and they have recently changed their sign and now it's no longer called that. Oh, they've just changed it away. Just something un-graffitable. It's like, yeah, H and K? They still vandalize it, it's A and Z now. No!

Yeah, there was a place on Main Street kind of down towards Hastings Street that was called like Senteva Sandwich or something like that. And I was like, I guess that's from Scent of a Woman. But really that belongs to Subway. Yeah, I feel like sandwiches are not a notoriously fragrant dish for the most part.

The way I do it. Unless it's Subway, yeah. Once you get it in a panini press though. That's true. Or like, yeah, you bring home any sandwich in a bag and you open the bag and you huff it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, especially if it a bag and you open the bag and you huff it. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, especially if it's a wrap paper

Mmm. Smells so nice Do you guys want to move on to some over her? Sure Hey, do you have a favorite episode of Star Trek if you do you should also have a favorite Star Trek podcast Greatest Trek is about all the new streaming Star Trek shows and it's a great companion to The Greatest Generation, our hit show about back catalog Star Trek that you grew up with. It's a comedy podcast by two folks who used to be video producers, so it's a serious mix of comedy and insight that fits right into the Maximum Fund network of shows. And Greatest Trek is one of the most popular Star Trek podcasts in the world.

So if you're following Lower Decks, Prodigy, or Strange New Worlds, come hang out with us every Friday as we roast and review our favorite Star Trek shows. It's on MaximumFun.org, YouTube, or your podcast catching app. From the twisted minds that brought you the Adventure Zone, balance and amnesty and graduation and ether see and steeplechase and Uhterspace and all the other ones the McElroy brothers and dad are proud to reveal a bold vision for the future of actual play podcasting It's um

It's called the adventure zone versus Dracula Yeah, we're gonna kill Dracula's ass. Well, we're gonna attempt, we haven't recorded all of it yet. We will attempt to kill Dracula's ass. The Adventure Zone versus Dracula's ass. Yes, a season I will be running using the D&D 5th Edition rules set. And there's two episodes out for you to listen to right now. We hope you will join us.

Same Bat time, same Bat channel. For more fun. I see what you did there. Overheard. Overheard, where if you hear them, why not share them with us? Well, don't be so greedy, don't keep them to yourself. Don't be shy.

Yeah, don't be shy, absolutely. This is an accepting, there's no wrong overheards. And we always like to start with the guest, Stacey. So I'm in a real, I have a two and a half year old, Coco. Coco. I'm in a real kids do the darnedest thing phase of my life right now, which is very exciting. So today, I don't wanna overshare during this overheard,

but her using the toilet is sort of a collaborative experience. So I was helping her with that today, and then she finished what she was doing, and I was like, it's time to flush the toilet, and she said, my arms are too tired. You know what, I'm calling it, Ma, I just don't have it today. Like it's 8 a.m.

What have you been doing? Adorable. She's the best. Does she have a phrase that she says over and over again? She adopted some sort of weird phrase? I feel like that happened. When she does want to do something, she'll be like, it's too dangerous. Turning the words of the oppressor around.

No, it's too dangerous. I the words of the oppressor around. No, it's too dangerous. I love it. I love it. I love her. I've never met her. Have her on the podcast. Well, if she would come, you know, we'd have her. She does do, yeah.

But you know what? It's too dangerous. It's too dangerous. Dave, do you have one overheard? Mine is the complete opposite. Old people say the worst things. I can flush the toilet. It is old people say the worst things. I can flush the toilet. It is old people say the worst things.

This is not a cute thing. Get your mind in the gutter. Okay. This is, boy, I'm all out over her. Sure. This is just a thing I saw on Reddit. So, that'll do. This was in the r slash confessions subreddit.

This was in the r slash confessions subreddit. And am I subscribed to this or is this just something they show me? We'll never know. Anyway, the headline was, I tried going to a glory hole for the first time last weekend and I'm not sure who it was that sucked me off. for the first time last weekend, and I'm not sure who it was that sucked me off. I'm not sure who it was that sucked me off.

I'm not sure who it was that sucked me off. I'm not sure who it was that sucked me off. I'm not sure who it was that sucked me off. Wasn't there a thing in Toronto where there was a guy who like gotten that, he went to a glory hole and it was a man, but he was like, he thought it was gonna be a woman, but I was like, buyer beware, you know, that's on you.

Forgot. Not even buyer beware, that is the whole point. The whole point, yeah. It's a mystery box. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. It's a mystery box. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. I didn't know these things existed. I don't see them, you know.

Yeah, where are they? You go to Home Depot, you get a thing. You put a coin in it. You throw a hammer. You do, you know, get some sort of a saw, you know, circular saw or something, and then you're halfway there, you know. And then you wait.

And then you play the waiting game. Yeah, it's like fishing. It is like fishing, yeah. Oh, a bite? A little bit. Yeah, you're just sitting there drinking beer. Yeah. It's got like a little bell.

Whoa! Got a big one. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. In the winter you can do ice fishing. Mine comes courtesy of my nephew, my brother's son. Oh great, another cute kid. I'm just the- No, you look like the pervert. I look like an absolute dirtbag. Dirtbag degenerate.

This is because probably they've seen the same ad 500 times by watching the Olympics. But this is my nephew saying, my brother texted to me, he said, next time we go to the doctor, can I ask if Ozempic is right for me? Oh no. Dad, can we? Yeah, please do. Please. Well, anyways, I love it. Are doctors like prepared for the wording in these ads? Like ask your doctor if Ozempic is right for you.

Is Ozempic right for me? Yeah. Like, hey, just one more thing doc. Yeah. As you're leaving the room, looking back, hey, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry.

I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm like, oh, I for you. Is Ozambic right for me? Yeah. Hey, there's one more thing doc. Yeah. As you're leaving the room looking back, hey. Oh, I forgot to ask. There was what I remember I think they couldn't even say the name of the drug. Oh really? Because then they would have to like it was like you know in in these ads they have to say all the side effects. Yeah. It was a few years ago but it was like ask you know, in these ads, they have to say all the side effects. Yeah. It was a few years ago, but it was like, ask your doctor about the purple pill.

Oh yeah, what was the purple pill? Eminem would probably know. Eminem the rapper? Yeah, didn't he have like a song called Purple Pills? Oh, I don't know. Anyways. I thought Eminem.

Yeah, yeah, that's the one. I thought you were talking about Eminem's the candy because they don't have a purple. No, that's true. Oh, but I think the almond ones do. I think they're in between purples right now. Yeah, yeah, but you know what? They'll get it, they'll figure it out.

Oh, so horny for the green one. Those little boots. Yeah, I mean. She doesn't have the boots anymore. She's wearing sneaks. She's wearing sneaks. She's in brother territory. She's out of fuck. She's in brother. She's wearing sneaks. Well now she's in brother territory. She got, she's out of fuck.

She's a brother. She just got brothered. Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the world. If you wanna send one in, send it into sbwimaximumfun.org. This first one comes from Ashley in Kansas City. This is, happened 10 years ago, but still lives rent-free in my head.

While taking a walk in Boulder, Colorado, two bikers were coming from the opposite direction. They were in deep in conversation, but the only tidbit I heard was, we can't invite her, her dog doesn't eat gluten. So she's gonna ruin the whole dog biscuit party. Yeah, we're gonna have a pie eating contest for dogs. Yeah, give your head a shake.

We can't invite her. And what happens to a dog that can't eat gluten? Ah, probably very messy. You don't want that dog in your house. Yeah. Will they say all dogs go to heaven? Nope. Yeah.

Sorry dog, you had bad tummy troubles. To hell with you. That would be, oh man, that'd suck for dogs. What if you find out you get to heaven, you keep your allergies with you? There's toast crumbs you can't have, but a dog doesn't know they're gluten intolerant, so they'll eat the thing.

Yeah, the dogs don't know that they're not supposed to eat a candle. Yeah. Crayons. The funny thing about dogs is they don't get smarter. Yeah, that's so true. I feel like, yeah, they do get, like they learn. It learns a thing. Oh yeah, if I run over there,

I'm scared of that part of the street or whatever. Yeah, yeah. But you have a pet? No. Well, she's got that too and a half of it. Yeah, yeah. But do you have a pet? No. Well, she's got that too and a half. Yeah, a toddler. It counts, it counts. Take her to the park.

We take her to the park, we run her around. She likes to dig holes. There's a lot of parallels. Sleeps in a crate. She likes it. She likes it. This next one comes from Bronwyn in Ottawa, Ontario. This is just two months after the IKEA opened in Winnipeg.

Big day, big day. We all remember where we were when I had my hair. Do you remember where you were? I was at the beach looking for coins. I had my metal detector, I was looking for coins. That's the summer activity. Holy cow. There you go.

Man, oh man. Bronwyn says, when the IKEA opened the window, we were out for breakfast, sat near a table where a man, woman, and a little kid were sitting. The man was quite sullen, and the woman kept trying to draw him out and engage him in conversation. Finally, after a while this the man said I need to

Leave I have to clear my head before I go to Ikea Yeah, you do you have to have a game plan you want to be in the right mind space yeah headspace You guys you frequent out the Ikea only when? I'm not I'm not going to wander around. It's not like a browse experience. You go and you go. Or when you used to go. When our kids were really small.

Small land. Well, no, not even small land. We would walk around and they would try out all the couches and chairs and beds and it was very fun. Okay. I feel like the ultimate- That's a rainy day activity. Yeah.

Yeah, that's not bad. Hey, add that to the list. Summer list. They're a bit older. They've sat on chairs before. I feel like when I was a kid, we'd go to a Home Depot or a Canadian entire, they would have a display of doors. Oh yeah.

Open and closing those doors, running through the doors. Boy, oh boy. Yeah. Those were the days. Toilets, toilet seats. Ah, yes. They keep all the toilets on a ramp now. I don't let that stop me.

Yeah. They make it hard to sit on them. Not impossible. This last one comes from Mariah in Pittsburgh. This is during a brutal heat wave in Pittsburgh while drifting off to take a nap on my towel after swimming. I overheard the conversation of a couple who were laying out nearby. Now, this particular public pool does not allow outside food or drink, but as always, people are trying to pass off, they're hiding. This person even saw somebody eating a ramen at the pool,

so people are sneaking in snacks. Cooking a ramen in the pool. This couple was debating if they could sneak a snack in without getting caught. I heard the lady whisper to the guy, you want some Velveeta? He responded quietly, I don't know. Do you think that it's allowed? She whispered back, it's just Velveeta.

You're not going to get mad at us for eating Velveeta. Everyone loves Velveeta. Well, we will allow because we love it. How if I get a taste? I don't think I've ever had it. I don't think so either. Yeah, it's like, it's the same as- It's just like cheese swizz?

I don't know. No, I think it's a block of it. Yeah, it's like a cream cheese. Is it a what, do they call American cheese? I don't know. Ugh, the idea of it makes my skin crawl. Maybe I'll pick some up next time I'm down there. Yeah.

I have some craft singles at the moment. Yeah, all individually wrapped? Yeah. Yeah. No, I got them in the bulk. I just take a big scoop. Do they not sell it in, is it always individually wrapped?

Kraft Singles? Yeah. No, but like, just in general, are they always sold? Or like, do they sell stacks of them that you just take one off and sell sealed? I mean like- Yeah, you buy like a 10 pack or whatever. No, they're all individually wrapped.

Like if you get like pre-sliced Swiss or whatever, they'll put a little parchment paper in between them. But- Crafting singles are- Crafting singles are like crap singles. They're like grab and go. Yeah, but like if you're getting a hamburger, cheeseburger, where's that?

That's not individually wrapped or is it? Oh, like it does- Or is it the wholesale? Yeah, does a restaurant? Yeah, like do they have a stack of it somewhere? I wonder. Yeah. Because that's why I bought them was for hamburgers,

because I was like, I always put cheese on my hamburgers. Yeah. But like I put like a proper cheese and I feel like, I don't like it. It doesn't hit the right spot. Yeah, you want a real deal hamburger? I want 64 slices of grab spot. Yeah. Yeah. You want a real deal hamburger? I want 64 slices of Crab Singles.

Yeah. Anyway. Remember there was a thing about like the Philippines, McDonald's had like a hamburger that was just a stack of those American cheese slices? Anyways. That sounds like what I like. I don't eat meat. And so whenever I would go to McDonald's, it'd be like cheeseburger, no patty.

So it'd just be like a... Grilled cheese? Kind of, but it's not really grilled, is it? No, it's not. It's not even hot at that point. Just like crab, singles, pickles, ketchup, mustard, onions. It's horrible. Yeah, that does seem horrible.

It's a bad veggie burger. Still they don't have. Still? Yeah. They tried it for a while in the States, I think. They had like a Mick veggie or something. Oh yeah. But yeah, what they should just do is just get just like have an impossible patty that

you can substitute in a Big Mac or anything. It's not gonna take up that much room in the fridge. And then- I'll bring my own. Mr. McDonald? Yeah. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, two pod, one like these people have.

Hello, Dave and Graham and probable guests. I'm calling with an overheard. This is Rachel in Georgia. And I was at the swimming pool with my three-year-old daughter the other day. And there had been this group of like maybe nine to 12-year-old boys who were just like terrorizing everybody. They hit me in the head with a kickboard, which I'm embarrassed to be saying, on a recording that may be broadcast to the public. So my daughter and I were packing up and getting ready to leave, and one of the boys was pulling this little girl about his age by the arm, and they each had these massive, like machine gun version of water guns.

And the boy's going, let's go shoot someone. How about that lady? And the girl goes, my mom? And the boy goes, no, that lady. The girl goes, that's my mom. No frigging way. I don't believe it, man. Well, let's shoot her and find out.

The machine gun of water guns is Super Soaker, right? I mean, they have so many, they've improved on the technology so much. Hmm, yeah. You play Super Soaker? You're a kid? Do I play Super Soaker? Is that an Olympic sport? Why not?

There's kids now that just have, they're not a gun. They're just like a wand, basically. I know that there's like, they have a push action. Oh, a gun. They're just like a wand basically. I know that there's like, they have a push action. Oh yeah, well that's like a pool toy. Yeah, but like, Super Soakers? You guys have Super Soakers? Not on me. Yeah, we have something.

I'm hoping Kerry does. We have some, I've got a license for this. Yeah, it's for protection. I think we have the dollar store version of a Super Soaker. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Not so Super Soaker. Yeah.

The guy who invented it, I think, invented it on his company. Death Fed. Yeah, Death Fed. What about a big, huge water gun? What were his last words? It doesn't matter. Don't worry about it. You didn't hear it. So, it's fine.

And then his best friend, Bob Super Soaker, went out and made a fortune. What are we going to call it? I don't know. Mega gun. Let's name it after you. Bob? No. Fun little dialogue there.

Yeah. What were you going to say about the guy who invented it? He invented it on the company time, I think. So it wasn't his. Oh, sure. He didn't make the money for it. Right. But I could be wrong about that.

Prove me wrong. You know the number to call. Hi, Dave Graham and probable guests. This is Micah from all over. I was just walking back to my car after having lunch. In-N-Out Burger walks past this table where this girl said, ''Yeah, I mean, it was fine. I just don't think it was funnier than Mission Impossible.''

Anyway, off I go. What is funnier than Mission Impossible? Mission Impossible has got some good gags, doesn't it? Isn't Simon Pegg in them? I mean, I guess the joke is that the mission was not impossible because they accomplished it. No, yeah, that is funny. Yeah, it's kind of a bigger joke.

Yeah. But funny, haha, funny, weird. Yeah. What are the funniest? Let's rank the Mission Impossible's in order of funniest. Five. Yeah. Four. Ghost protocol was pretty good because in order of funniest. Five. Yeah. Four.

Ghost Protocol was pretty good because there was no ghosts in it. Yeah. That's a good joke. We were going out expecting like a scary movie but not. The first two didn't have Simon Pegg so they suffered. Did they have Ving Rhames? Ving Rhames might have been in the second one. I haven't seen the first one.

Why, that movie franchise has really kept Ving Rhames in the conversation because what else has he been in since? Isn't the yeah, there's like a running gag of he just is in a van He doesn't even do stunts. Yeah, he's just yeah, he's the man on the ground kind of thing How many of you? I don't know any of those. Okay. I mean, I know who Simon Pegg is Yeah, you put and you're gonna know a lot more when you watch those closing ceremonies First they're gonna screen all the mission Mission Impossible so we have some context for when he takes his dick out.

You know the thing in the first one where he goes down on the cables because he can't touch the ground? Yeah. I haven't seen it, but man, I want to see that one so bad. I'm just waiting for the time to be right. And there's one with a helicopter and when he stops then the helicopter blades like right close to his eye, he barely survived. He was climbing on that giant glass building.

Oh yeah, and he's climbing the two mountains, holding onto the mountains with both arms, like an Olympian. And he, and they just attached themselves to the side of a plane. These things sound impossible. There's the joke. That's the overarching joke. And your final phone call. Hi, this is Christina Kay calling from Woonsocket, Rhode

Island with Overdreamt that I thought you fellas would enjoy. This is in relation to the Charlie XCX and Lord remix that came out and I had a very long dream that it was Charlie XCX releasing her beef resolving remix with Gru her beef resolving remix with Gru and song-raising the whole time was a boral so confusing and I thought you guys would enjoy. Well, off I go. Now I just heard this right, Gru is who? Gru, yeah. From Mission Impossible Me? Yeah, from Mission Impossible Me. This is a song that was originally with Lord, but it was now with Gru in the dream.

I love that. Do you think guest appearance by Minions in that track? Or, you know, like, are they working the booth? I mean, they are brat. They are brat, yeah. You've got kind of a brat Yeah, t-shirt is kind of a brat color. Although this maybe it's more yellow and those overalls could be minion-y Yeah, you know what? Yeah, you know what? This is a real brat minion look. I love that when I got dressed

I was like it's perfect. It takes two, you know Olsen twins I'm feeling ready to get Steve Gutentenberg and Kirsty Alley together. But now that you say it, yeah. Yeah, no, if you had a slingshot in your pocket, that wouldn't, or a frog in your other pocket, yeah. Never leave home without it. I mean, Dennis Lemenes, original brat. Original brat.

In overalls. Yeah, probably, the OG. And we wish you a good health out there, Dennis Lemenes. If you're, hopefully Mr. Wilson is still with us No way. No. Oh shit. You think mr. Wilson still was I don't Maybe he's long legs. It's like the ghost Is a guy Anyways, this is a whole episode brought to you by long legs Peters now

Well, that brings us to the end of the podcast. Stacy. Bye-bye. Get out of here. Slap. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. Vroom. Wow.

Gee. Archie's. Psh. Whee. But I thought Jeff Hale couldn't melt steel beams. Whoa. You are, in addition to being a part of a magazine, being an editor of a magazine, you are also a very funny comedian.

Thank you. You're doing a show in October. Yeah. October 5th. October 5th at Little Mountain Gallery in Vancouver. Come. Come. Co-producing it with Max Mitchell, my husband, Ali and Whistle, who I outed for being an Olympics obsessive.

The three of us are putting together all the slideshows. Hilarious comedians are gonna come put on performances. We'll see it because they say it will be so sad summer's over. Yeah, I'm gonna need this bat. Yeah. Also covered in sand though. Oh yeah? Just to keep the vibe alive.

Yeah, just keep a little vial of sand in your place. Spread it around on the bathroom floor. Just sprinkle, yeah, Max loves it. But yeah, if you've never been to Little Mountain down in Gastown, two minute walk from the gas, from the waterfront station. You have to come. Yeah, it's in Gastown, It's close to the steam clock.

That's a twofer. Yeah, exactly. Hit the clock, hit the club. Head home early. Yeah, head home early. Have a snack. And go get a free subscription to Vancouver magazine. Yeah, please.

Hell yeah. And thank you again for being our guest. Thank you everybody out there for listening to the podcast. If you haven't seen Long Lakes yet, if you're ready to get scarified, you know the one place to go. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. ["Stop Podcasting Yourself"]

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