Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 86 - Conor Holler

Episode Date: November 3, 2009

Conor Holler of Bronx Cheer returns to talk Halloween, racism in wrestling, and taste test some jellybeans.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 86 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, if he was a poster, would most definitely be a Lamborghini poster, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, born in the 80s. And I've since gained some curves.

Yeah, that's true. And no more gullwing doors for curves. Yeah, that's true. And no more gull-wing doors for you. Yeah, exactly. And joining us here on the podcast is a second-time guest here on the podcast. The first time you were on ages ago. And a returning guest, very funny comedian, producer of his own once-a-month show, Bronx Cheer at the Biltmore. Mm-hmm.

And you do other things as well. Oh, I do so much. The laundry list is big. Well, his name is Connor Haller, because I know I didn't say that. Thank you for joining us. Oh, thank you for having me, guys. Well, thanks for coming back. Hey, let's get to know us.

Yeah. Get to know us. So what's going on what's new with uh with mr connor holly you were telling us uh just before the podcast started that you met your brand new girlfriend's parents that may not be her mom to talk about her mom and her stepdad stepdad um and it was it was fun i had a blast yeah i've been a long time since i've been like since i'd had to go and like meet somebody's parents you know like did you dress up or like in a costume oh it's halloween so i figured i'd scare them you should have dressed like a pilot modded out my car for like a big propeller on the front of it um was it was it was it very uncomfortable or was it fine or because those things to me they're

murder like i don't really yeah i i meeting the parents it like once it's happening it's fine but the lead up to it um because you never know what level of sense of humor yeah they have and you probably come out swinging with some jokes are they gonna be like it's all jokes for the first 10 minutes are the parents gonna be like the parents or are they gonna be like the fockers you never know who you're meeting yeah and yeah i like to start out with uh you know hey you having a good time tell your fucking face yeah i like to do a with, you know, hey, you having a good time? Tell your fucking face. I like to do a little work in the room. I can milk anything with nipples. Where are you from, sir?

Where are you from? I told you where I'm from. So that was all right. Yeah, I never get like, you know what? I'll say that the leading up to it was a bit nerve wracking. Like three weeks in advance, I was like, no, this would be easy like i'll be fine then like the two days before i was like oh man like i actually got a you know i gotta show them like a good front yeah once i got in there it was cool yeah it was all and they um you just did a dinner is that all thai food and we went up to their hotel room for

drinks oh that's nice wow Wow, that's advanced. Parent meeting. That was the first time I met them. They're like, come up here for pre-drinks, and then we'll go with you. Then we're going to go to a couple night spots. We're going to drink in the bathroom first. We got some big glass, and we're going to fill them with rum. Chase it with this coke.

We're doing shooters up there. And then we went to a Thai food place and we ate Thai. Yeah. Which was very nice. That's all right. And then we went back to their hotel room for more drinks. Wow. Wow.

They know how to party. Oh, they're on vacation. All right. They know how to vacation. I'm sorry. Vacation party. Kind of one and the same. And what else What else is happening?

I just started working I guess Writing a new show Kind of thing For Christmas It's going to be like A Christmas special Oh really?

Like a live Christmas special? No it's For the web? It's for the web Yeah yeah Oh nice The idea is like It's about a radio station That's shutting down during Christmas season.

To just play Christmas music? No, not... Well, there's going to be... There's a pretty big Christmas music element to it. Okay, spoiler alert. So it's like a Prairie Home Companion, that type of thing? It's shutting down for good? Yeah, it's just like, you know, arts funding cuts and stuff like that.

They were dependent on that, so they're shutting down. And it's basically like the the protagonist like has a radio show so i'll release like six audio episodes that are the radio show oh okay and then six video episodes that are like what's going on behind the scenes at the radio station wow yeah where uh are you going to shoot this in a set or in an actual radio station well we just we just filmed the first episode I guess last week, and we're using CITR. Oh, great. They're being pretty accommodating. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah, it's been pretty fun.

So if people want to start watching this, when does it become available? The first, like the prologue, is going to be released at the end of December. It's a very literary webisode.

It's got a protagonist. There's a prologue. I'm sorry. These are industry words. There's a whole lot of jargon over here. Barks. Foreshadowing. Venn diagrams all over my house.

Did you say barks? Yeah, it's got bite. Nick Swardson. That's something that agents say a lot. Oh, it's tons of barks on that, huh? I've got lots of barks credibility. So, and what, is it going to be through its own website, or is this through bronxcheer.com? It's got its own website.

The show's called Mental Beast. Mentalbeast.com. Yes. Nice. Well, so that's pretty good. Start out with a plug. Yeah. That was a heavy plug, too.

I'm glad you asked me what I'm doing, Graham. Now, today we're recording this. It's Halloween. Hallow's Eve. Hallow's Day of Eve. Yeah. The day before All Saints Day, Eve. That's right.

Are you a guy who... I'm guessing a guy. Do you put the apostrophe in Halloween? No, I don't. Who does? Is it between the two Es? Yeah. Yeah.

What usually goes in there? A T? Hello, what? Yeah, what's the apostrophe signify? Nothing. Well, is it supposed to be short for All Hallows Eve? I guess is where the N comes in

on ween. It's one of those famous English exceptions, I think. Exceptions to the rule. Where the apostrophe doesn't do what an apostrophe does. Pretty much arbitrary placement. Maybe I'll start spelling my name Gra-apostrophe-ham.

Yeah. Gra-ham. I think that would be cool. That would be alright, eh? And then you could be an asshole and just correct people all the time. Yeah, actually there's an apostrophe between the Gra- You also would have to get really into like swords and swordplay. Well, if that's what I have to do to make this work.

It's Gros Ham, actually. Maybe buy a musket. So you strike me as somebody who is a person that likes to dress up on Halloween. Am I way off in that assumption? I'd say you're pretty on. What about me gives you the impression that I like to dress up? To me, it's like people who uh because you're you like you act right and you're a big performer you're a performer you like to be the center of

attention um all pretty much everybody i know you probably have a costume trunk at home i don't have a costume trunk although i'll say i'll say this like for please don't pull your punches. Okay. Let's really dive right in here. I planned on dressing up and going as Super Dave Osborne. Classic Super Dave Osborne. Yeah, I wanted to build a dummy and then have a party, throw him off the roof. But I couldn't get it together. I've been pretty busy, so I just wasn't like, oh, you know, that's something that takes work.

You know, like build a costume. It's like a day's worth of time. You have to get a Fuji, maybe, to hang out with you. I definitely have to get a Fuji. Yeah. I don't know very many Fugis. I don't. I know Mr. Fuji, but he's busy this Halloween.

Sure. Being dead, I think. I think is he dead? Which Mr. Fuji? From wrestling. Wrestling. Okay. There's Mr. Fuji.

He was the wrestling. And then just Fuji. What's his name? I want to say Nak Fuji. He was the wrestling. And then just Fuji... What's his name? I want to say Nakamura. It may have been. It may have been Fuji Nakamura. So Super Dave, that would have been a great costume. But no time to get the thing together.

So now it's come down to like, I want to maybe go out tonight. It's Halloween. So I'm kind of looking around my house like, what am I going to wear? Right. And I don't really have any crazy costumes but I do have this really weird like turtleneck that's like very austere you know like German turtleneck so I'm basically just like well I got this turtleneck I'm just

gonna build a costume around this you only need I find, in terms of emergency Halloween costumes, you need one piece, and then everything will flow around that piece. So I think you're in good stead if you've already got a turtleneck. And that's a good visible costume, you know? Yeah. You don't see a lot of turtleneck full coverage, too, like right under the chin. Is it something you'll have to explain to people? Because that's the worst part of Halloween is when you have to explain to people? Because that's the worst part of Halloween Is when you have to explain it

Or when you do something clever And you have to explain the riddle The pun costume? Nobody likes that Here's the thing that I noticed While I was standing outside There was a gentleman walking up the middle of the street And in your neighborhood There's some, and there's some colorful characters.

Sure, yeah. But no, when you say color, you don't mean ethnic people. No. Bit racist. Let's really dive in here, Graham. You have some coloreds. Yeah, coloreds. Is that, what did I say, colors?

But there was a guy walking down the street with wearing like VGH, Vancouver General Hospital, pajamas and a robe and a necktie. And I don't. Was he wearing a house coat as well? Yes. Okay. So I don't know if that's a costume or if that is a guy. Let's decipher. Let's do the bumper stumpers on that one.

Because you saw him too. Yeah. Right. He is testing your patience. He is something. Yeah. He's a disorderly. I don't know.

But yeah, there was that guy. And then this morning, while I was washing dishes and there's people that live below me and who blow me. Right. They live right at crotch level they have a sunken apartment and this one guy uh like they uh left the the place at like you know 10 o'clock this morning slammed the door and then walked out and he's definitely a he's not a guy who lives there. And B, he was in a soaking wet t-shirt, tiny, the tiniest shorts, like the white tennis shorts from the 70s and running shoes with no socks. So I don't know if that was a costume or if he was like escaped a kidnapping that's going on downstairs. like escaped a kidnapping that's going on downstairs i don't like i have no and his hair was very like messed up as if he had just woken up realized he wasn't in his house could that have been a pun costume yeah well it's just like the time the pun on well if he's escaping

his kidnappers okay no i was thinking stockholm syndrome because he had like the bjorn borg short oh that's not bad yeah i have stockhol. But you would have to be me watching that to get the full pun. But he was soaking wet. I bet you it has something to do with sweat. A sweaty runner. But to be in a full costume at like 8 in the morning. What if it was him and three other guys at a party last night, and they all had instruments and they were a sweat band

that's not bad there was this week Tyra Banks on her television program she was Whoopi Goldberg and she had cutouts of all the other people on The View and a desk

attaching them all. And then later... That's a lot. Yeah, and I was thinking for Mr. Fuji, you could just have a cutout of or of Fuji, you could just have a cutout of Fuji. And Tyra Banks also was Kim Kardashian and she had the other

two Kardashians as cutouts. So it just makes me think... That's a big show for Tyra. Yeah, but she's doing these costumes that you would do with your friends, but I don't think Tyra Banks has friends. Oh, cardboard cutout substitute.

Maybe Oprah's friend Gail. So her real costume is just the loneliest girl. I follow her on twitter and her twitters are things that you would generally say to somebody who is in the same room with you you know holding you right do you mind if i close this window yeah it's like she's reaching out to friends who farted although she was like oh do you all one of them was do y'all uh does your pee smell funny after you eat asparagus i'm like well that's not a twitter yeah that's not a survey the answer is just yes yeah unless you

i guess have the enzyme that which i have i think she just thinks Twitter is Ask Jeeves I love this new Ask Jeeves format but yeah the when you were talking about Whoopi Goldberg there's this new series of commercials that features that is it a James Taylor song? Sing a few bars.

It was the, if you'd rather be you, be you. If you want to be me, be me. Cat Stevens. Oh, it's Cat Stevens. But you know the commercial I'm talking about? It's for some phone that's supposed to. I think it's an iPod, isn't it? No.

iPhone? It's a competitor. J-Phone. J-Phone. But have you seen the one with her in it? No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it shows the...

It's her and it's Jesse James. Yes. And Yokozuna. Yeah, it's Yokozuna. Another wrestler? Yeah. But they passed... The whole gag in the commercial is that they're all showing the apps that they would use.

And, like, Jesse James is something to do with a car. But Whoopi's is something called, it's like Whoopula or something. And it's a cartoon of her as Dracula. And I haven't bothered looking it up on the internet to find out what it is, but it plagues my brain every time I see the commercial. Who do you think came up with, like, well, I love Whoopi Goldberg and I also love Dracula? I think she's got several drafts of that on her computer right now.

Whoopula, the movie. No one's buying it. But it was a cartoon. Anyways, so look into that the next time you're on Ask Jeeves. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, it's Halloween, and the one... I don't dress up anymore. Did you as a kid?

Of course. Did you as a kid? Oh, yeah. I dressed up as recently. Some kids never did it. Did you? Oh, yeah. Jehovah's Witnesses.

No, in school there was always a contingent of kids that would show up and they would have a very expensive rubber mask or something like that, but no costume, too. Just like a black hoodie? Yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, yeah. Or, like, they would just have this really scary old man monster mask. Yeah. And they'd put that on and maybe have a plastic knife that came with it.

And then that was it. When you said plastic knife, I assumed it was like the kind you get at KFC. A little raspberry jam on it. I'm a killer. My dad was late for work. The little red stick you get with the snack packs.

To spread your cheese whiz on the crackers. There's also those kids, too. Like, I was one of these kids where you'd wear a costume and I'd be like, I'm going to be Batman this year. And you'd be so excited about wearing the big muscle body and the cape and stuff like that. But then my mom would be like, you're not going out at Halloween wearing just that Bat-Yum costume. You need to wear this down coat under the Batman costume. So it's like fat Batman. Every costume I ever wore was just the fat version of that costume.

Are you Frank Caliendo's Batman? My brother won year for a costume, and this is good for anybody out there next year who needs a quick improvised costume. All you need is a winter jacket that looks like a kid would wear and a Superman cape. And that's what he went. He wore the cape and then snow pants and a winter jacket over top of it, and he was a kid going as Superman. The cape just kind of tailed out the back of the jacket. I remember once being very upset that I couldn't go barefoot. Because my costume would really be helped by barefoot.

I don't remember the costume. But we were having one of these Indian summers where the summer just went into... Were you going as an Indian? Yes, it was a First Nation summer. Going as Anthony Hopkins in the world's fastest Indian. Anyway, so we don't dress up for Halloween anymore, but we have a dog. And last year we dressed up the dog as a mummy.

Oh, yeah, that was great. That was a great, great photo op. And when we say we dress him up We don't do it for Halloween Like he doesn't go out trick or treating No one he never goes outside Although in Vancouver it wouldn't shock me If there was a community of people that trick or treated

With their dogs I was actually going to say that sounds like something that could be real You just have like a little dog treat And then people just walk their dogs Of course the dog would probably get horrible diarrhea by the end of the night. Is it the chocolate? Because they're just feeding chocolate to all these dogs. And dogs don't know when to say when. If you keep feeding them biscuits, they'll keep eating them.

But this year, we dressed my dog up. Abby made a wonderful costume. I've told this to Graham, but are you familiar, Connor, with the 1974 movie Zardoz? No. Starring Sean Connery. A young, hairy-chested Sean Connery. In this movie, Sean Connery is wearing a red Speedo. I've seen the pictures on the internet.

Chris Cross. Bandoliers on his chest and boots up to his thighs. And so Abby constructed this costume, and it is amazing. And the kind of cherry on top is Sean Connery had a very long braided ponytail, and so does Grandpa in this photo. That's awesome.

It's pretty unprecedented. Well, it's unprecedented. You should put those pictures on the internet. Oh, yeah, I'll put them on the blog. Because there's like a huge culture Just like going through blogs or whatever I've seen that picture of Sean Connery Like on a beach wearing the red Speedo

The whole set up many many times Well and if you see the movie If you haven't Zardoz The character Sean Connery is not His name is Zed Zardoz is a flying rock head that flies around and it lands on this island and it fires guns out of its mouth. Guns.

Yeah. Like assault rifles. It doesn't fire bullets. The whole gun's coming. Yeah, it shoots out a stream of gun. It's shot with an Uzi. It just sticks into your stomach. And then he tells all of his followers that the gun is good and the penis is bad.

And everybody in the crowd chants, the gun is good, the penis is... Oh my gosh. I love it that those movies that like... Looking at like science fiction movies like over the last... You know, like since whenever they were built or created. Yeah. They can only make use of the current technology at that time, but they wanted to

do these really futuristic things. Science fiction in the 70s, it's all cranks and reel-to-reel and stuff like that, but it's magically transporting characters around the world. That's true. And in the late 90s, when everyone

was living in bullet time, it really came in handy for The Matrix. That's true and in the late 90s when everyone was living in bullet time it really came in handy for the matrix absolutely yeah remember when friends was shot in bullet time um so beyond that um the other thing that's been going on in my life is uh are you familiar with the mtv series the hills yes and the city i follow both spencer pratt and heidi montag on twitter well Are you familiar with the MTV series The Hills? Yes. And The City? I follow both Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag on Twitter. Well, you're living a very rich and fulfilling life, I'm sure. There's a new Canadian one. Have either of you seen it? Is it peak season?

It's peak season. It's up at Whistler. It's up at Whistler. Have you watched it? No. Have you? No, I haven't. It's the same format where it's up at Whistler. It's up at Whistler. Have you watched it? No. Have you? No, I haven't. It is, it's the same format where there's a bunch of young people.

Hanging out. Hanging out. Loud bars. Yep, loud bars. Lavalier microphones. A lot of Australians. More Australians. Although there's an Australian on the city, to be fair.

Oh, he's the greasy dude, right? Yeah, he's very greasy. Sticking it to the Aussies. If I don't, who will? So he... Oh, right, he. This is all about the greasy dude from Real City. So I started watching Peak Season,

and it's like those other shows, except the people are Canadian, and it follows the Canadian television rule of not putting the best looking people on TV. And unlike those other shows, the people aren't rich. So they have to go to work. Oh, yeah. So it's not good? Well, it's not good.

But none of those shows are good. No, but they're a level of not good. There's not good where I'm like, I can't imagine how anybody could ever watch this in any capacity. Whereas The Hills, if you're with the right people, tons of fun to watch and make fun of and have a good laugh. But when you watch a show like one of those shows where people are looking for a house or something on TLC, those are no fun for anybody. Who's watching those shows?

Not me. Not anybody in this room. And the people, like the guys on the show, they're all it's clear they're all getting high every second that they're not on camera. How old are they? Early 20s.

There's one guy late 40s. Feels hot to them. He's like the welding of the group. Yeah, everyone seems to have 10 roommates. That's how it is in Whistler, though, isn't it? Yeah, and the girls all kind of have... There are girls I've seen my whole life that are just kind of like...

have deep voices and no chins and the Kate Gosselin haircut. And they get in fights, like physical fist fights. And so that's actually more entertaining than those other shows. So you're watching... I watched the first two episodes. Peak practice? Peak season. than those other shows. So you're watching... I watched the first two episodes.

Peak Practice? Peak Season. Practice is good. That's as good a name as any. Practice Season. That's something that they really pushed on Facebook. I'd always be on Facebook and there'd be an ad for Peak Season on the sidebar because they have those... They cater ads to where you are in the world now.

And you're always looking up Whistler pages. Best grab. It's like my top hit for searches. There's a book that just came out about Whistler this week that certain like BC government affiliated stores, like stores on BC ferries, refused to carry. And it it's about the crazy wild times in Whistler, and it has a picture on the cover, which it was a theme, much like the Lamborghini poster, a theme that was big in the late 70s and early 80s was pictures of naked people skiing. Right. That's why the cover of the book was for girls' butts.

A ski lodge from that era. Yeah. Yeah. There was that, and then there's a famous picture of a woman playing tennis, and she's not wearing underwear, and she's scratching her butt, and you can see her butt. That's what you need on this wall right here. Yeah. Like mechanic-style posters.

We were talking pre-show about how three of the walls in here have framed pictures on them, but one needs needs mechanics to help those there's the one where graham and and uh connor are currently looking like a study hard or something like that you know what i really learned in university um graham shall we get to oh i have one more thing go ahead can i have one more thing yeah please now you. Now you and I, uh, for the last few years, you, for my birthday have given me, uh,

Disney cards. Yes. You gave me one once that was a high school musical. Yeah. And when you open it up, it plays the song from high school musical. Uh, I can't remember what the song is,

but yeah, we're all in this together. Is that it? It might've been that. Uh, and i once gave you a miley cyrus one yeah best of both worlds was the name of the song and while i was moving i found this uh that's so raven uh birthday card that's so raven raven

and when you open it it's supposed to play the theme song, That's So Raven. That's So Raven, I think is how it goes. Yeah, that's exactly how it goes. But I guess over, through the sands of time, wait, like sands through the hourglass. Hourglass, yeah. This, I guess the battery's lost some power. I already like this. Can you sing it again?

Is that so Raven? Something. This is what it sounds like now. That's so Raven. Wow, that's scary I feel like we're gonna get like Halloween guys

Oh man I feel like we're gonna get like a phone call You know, like in like five minutes And they're gonna be like You have seven days to live The card Alright, now let's get to know you. You know what's funny is I was sent a card like that like a year or two years ago, and

I just took out the mechanism that makes the thing, because all it is is there's like a contact, there's like a spring that touches a contact point, and that's how it sets off. So then I just had it taped to my wall, and every time I'd walk out of the room, I'd just hit it, and it would play, whoomp, there it is. That's great. Yeah, it was pretty good. I think it still works. I haven't hit it in a while.

That's what I'm going to do as soon as I get home. You could probably rig it up to your door pretty easy, too. Can you open and close a door? Yeah, why don't you get one of those cookie jar things that oinks? Yeah, same principle. Do you think that has ever helped anybody lose any weight? Because I think that hearing the pig sound is fun and would only encourage you to eat more cookies.

Hey, is there bacon in there too? I think it hurt a lot of feelings. It probably did succeed. But then you're like, how do I console myself? The only way. It probably desensitized people to criticism. That's true. It stokes on you, buddy.

I hear this every time I eat a cookie. Oh, yeah. So myself, keeping along the Halloween track. I'm not dressing up tonight because I am going to a casino to open for Miss Joan Rivers. Wow. Yeah. So that'll be interesting. Do you have any stories about that yet?

No, but that's what I'm doing. So that's why I don't have anything about me dressing up. But when I was downtown today, I was having coffee. And out in front of the blends that I was sitting in were three guys. And there was automatically, like when I looked at these guys, I'm like, up to no good. These three dudes are some sort of trouble. One of them was wearing pajama pants and sandals. And it's not that kind of weather.

No. Ever. But especially not today. And he had, like, a gray t-shirt with swastikas drawn on it. Oh, he's Hitler. Hitler. Bedtime Hitler. Always a risky costume. And then his..., he's Hitler. Bedtime Hitler. Always a risky costume.

Bedtime Hitler. His buddy was wearing a hoodie and a backpack and rollerblades. And then this other buddy had a long hair that was shaved on one side. Had an actual Hitler mustache.

Or Charlie Chaplin. Well, Charlie Chaplin, if he slicked down his hair. Or the coach from the Mighty Ducks, I believe. Or not Mighty Ducks, the Anaheim, the hockey team. Oh, yeah. Oh, not the movie. He has a Hitler mustache. He has a Hitler mustache?

Dave Lewis? It might be Dave Lewis. Dave Lewis has an actual Hitler mustache? I don't know if it's Dave Lewis. Wow. I'll try to find a picture. I can't confirm or deny that. But this guy had a gray sweatshirt

with swastikas drawn on it as well. And there was something written on the back and I couldn't see it because he put his backpack on over it, but I feel like it may have been the linchpin as to whether or not this costume was all an elaborate gag or if there was something very racist

written on the back of his sweatshirt. Whether it was a costume or a statement. Yeah. But – and then I was like, I don't know if they're – what are they? Are they homeless? Like I don't understand this because it was, yeah, 11 o'clock in the morning. So it's not get into your costume time yet. If you see a homeless Nazi, do you give them money?

No. I give them a stern lecture and say, listen, buddy, we're all in this together. Like the high school musical kids said. Yeah. And then, yeah, they separated. Oh, and one of them picked a cigarette butt up off the street. So that's a pretty good indication. Harvesting cigarettes is usually a pretty good indication of home status. But yeah, a group of teenagers were yelling at them, and I was like, these guys, one of these guys, most likely the guy that has taken the time to grow the Hitler mustache.

Oh, it wasn't drawn on. Not from what I could tell. It seemed like it was a legit... Maybe he's celebrating an early Movember. Are you guys going to celebrate Movember this year? No, because I don't spell mustache with an O. Is it M-O-U? Or you just go M-U?

M-O. Oh, it's M-U. M-U-stache, but M-O-vember. It may not be a worldwide phenomenon. I think it's only a this city phenomenon. People grow mustaches in November, and they take pledges for cancer? Yeah, mustache cancer. You know what?

I didn't even know that. I was just going to try to be quiet and be like, I don't know what Movember even is. Like, I had no idea. It's one of these things that I think probably as a society we're in for a lot more of that are things that are advertising things disguised as not like for all i know all i was looking at today with this hitler guy was an ad for rc cola i have no idea you know what i mean like i feel like now ad companies have decided we all are too smart for advertising so they're gonna just hire people yeah that's all the theine flu is. It's a viral marketing campaign for those cookie jars that oink at you. Why did I buy so many?

Now it makes sense. So, yeah, there's that. That was kind of, you know, it was a good week. We got to do a couple shows together. Yeah, we did. We did a show for a voiceover agency. Really? Or not a stand-up show? Production company. Production company that does a lot of voice work. Yeah, we did. We did a show for a voiceover agency. Really? And, uh, uh, uh,

stand-up shows? Production company, yeah. Production company that does a lot of voice work. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, we did stand-up for their Christmas party. Which is premature. Yeah, and it was also themed as a Hawaiian, like, there was nothing remotely Christmassy. I'm sorry, is it a Christmas

party? That just, it's not even Halloween. Today's Halloween. That's true. In past years, it's been a Christmas party? It's not even Halloween. Today's Halloween. In past years, it's been a Christmas party, hasn't it? You've done it before. Well, I always assume if you're a company and you're having a party anywhere south of July, it's Christmas. I think it's north, isn't it?

Well, I'm not an orienteer. Sure, does the year travel north or south? I'll tell you where this conversation is traveling. But, like, because sometimes a company will be like, it's our summer solstice. Sure. I don't know what a summer party would be called. A lot of Wiccan parties. Wiccan companies.

Barbecues. Yeah, yeah. We're having a barbecue. Company barbecue. And then in the fall, there's no fall. Thanksgiving. A lot of office.

Look, we're all coming in on Saturday. You need to be a team player on this one, K-Roy. I'm going to cook a couple of turkeys. Oh, I'd love to. Oh, man. And then, yeah, so Movember. But isn't there a way to spell mustache that's M-O-U? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's where they... Yeah, but I disagree with that. I'm very... I don't know if that's a Canadian spelling. I'm very arbitrary with which Canadian spellings I choose. How do you do color? With a U. How do you do humor?

With a U, but neighbor. What about you? I go with a... I cater it to the audience, I think. If I'm writing for someone that would appreciate Canadian spelling, then I'll spell it Canadian. Oh, okay. With neighbor, I can never put a U.

It just seems wrong. What about center? R-E. R-E? Yeah. You go R-E? Really? Yeah, I go R-E as well.

What about theater? R-E. R-E, same here., I go R-E as well. What about theater? R-E. R-E, same here. Yeah, never E-R. Because sometimes even in the States you'll see theater R-E. It's crass to just go E-R for theater. Yeah, but see, center for years, I'd see it spelled both ways, in here and abroad. I think they should just make it...

How do you guys spell abroad? I think they should just make it O-R, so it sounds like a robot saying it. I'm going to the theater. Theater, centaur. This is make it O-R, so it sounds like a robot saying it. I'm going to the Theodore. Theodore, Centaur. Oh, no, Centaur's not a robot thing. It's a half man, half horse. Hello to the Sagittarians out there.

Yes. Hey, here's the thing. You know how people make jokes about fantasy baseball and fantasy football? And like, hey, maybe I should have an elf be my left winger. Can you do that in fantasy football and like hey maybe i should have like an elf be my left winger can you do that in fantasy football i think that's the joke people make right does anyone ever made a joke about having a centaur fielder oh that was pretty good save it for twitter no not good enough what's uh what is i may sound very like a rank amateur here, but I don't think I understand what fantasy football is. I don't understand fantasy football either.

Is it a hockey... Not sorry, hockey. But is it like, in essence, a hockey pool for football? I think so. Isn't it just like you just pick your fantasy team? Wait, do they get points? I don't know how football even works. Yeah, fantasy team? Or wait, do they get points? I don't know how football even works. Yeah, I don't know how, but like different positions work?

Like what points you would get as a defensive player? They probably have something for like yards run or quarterback sacks or something. Yeah, I can understand it as an offensive player, but from defense, I don't get it. So, but like, you're not, it's not like, is it like Dungeons and Dragons, but with football? Is it a football extension of D&D? Maybe. It's very...

Is there people that sit around as a group and discuss who would win in the fantasy football? No, it's based on statistics. But they do wear robes. But I don't know... I there is a nine-sided die. I wouldn't know how to watch football and know if I'm winning at fantasy football. Neither do I.

So it's really like, but it's not a thing where. Whereas with a hockey pool, your guy scores a goal, you get a goal in your stats. Yes. No, the hockey pool has always made perfect sense to me. I've never been a part of one. Not interested. Because that's a lot of numbers I got to keep track of. I used to have a joke about fantasy foosball.

And then it was about how it was a rotisserie league because the guys were all on a spit anyway. Not bad. It had a lot of explanations. Do we want to plow through onto some overheards? Why not? Overheard. All right, overheards. Things overheard in everyday life.

Or overseen. That's another subcategory. Things that you've seen that we might have a laugh at. Yeah, please. Nothing depressing or Nazi related. Yeah. Well, that was that overseen, I think. Real racism. It had a big story behind it.

And we've got some good listener ones. If you want to send any in, you can either send it to us via stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com, or you can call us on our number which is 206-339-8328. Do you guys have a number? Yeah. 206? 206.

So it's a Washington. Yeah, Seattle, Washington. Dave, would you like to start us off? Or no, we usually start with a guest. My apologies. Connor, would you like

to start us off with Overhertz? Okay, it's kind of a... I guess it's an Overheard. I'm really bad at remembering specifics. It was more the guest. My apologies. Connor, would you like to start us off with Overhearts? Okay, it's kind of a... I guess it's an overheard. I'm really bad at remembering specifics. It was more the scene that I saw. So, I've been playing tennis pretty regularly since the summertime.

And I like to play at Stanley Park. And you go out there about 11, maybe 12 in the middle of the day. It's a nice day. It's pretty relaxing. There's not a whole lot of people in the middle of the day. It's a nice day. It's pretty relaxing. There's not a whole lot of people in the tennis court. But there was a couple old men playing in the tennis court right next to us.

Okay. The way it usually starts out, you warm up, you relax, you're hanging out with your friends, getting some exercise, right? Right. you're like hanging out with your friends like you know getting some exercise right right these guys were like one of them's probably 65 maybe 70 the other guy's like maybe 40 something whatever and first of all it's hilarious to see a man of 70 doing any kind of physical activity and being like really good at it. What's going on? But their game started to get pretty heated. And then the old man started to cheat in a way that he would call things that were out when they weren't out,

because I could see them. Or he'd start, he'd be like, the other guy would get a let, and then he wouldn't call let until... Now what, for anybody who, myself included, who isn't a tennis player, what is a let? A let's like where it hits the net and then bounces over. But it lands within the boundary, so it's not technically a fault. You don't lose a serve. Oh, okay. So it did technically go over the net.

And landed in the right spot. But the old man was like playing them, and depending on where he was like playing the lets, he would call lets afterwards. And that's like, you see that stuff kind of go on, you know, I guess the people doing minor cheats pretty regularly. But this other guy just wouldn't let it go. And we're trying to play a game of tennis Beside them

And it's getting more and more heated So much that they're swearing at each other And it's turning into this huge thing So they're starting to scream at each other Like F you Really? You've got to call it before you play it And they keep yelling

Keep playing tennis And just getting more and more angry every time you know a play gets screwed up to the point that they have to take a break these are fully grown men from playing tennis sit on the bench and then like cool down for a while and then i hear the young guy say to the old guy in like a moment of like just despair goes dad you're a son of a bitch. That would make a really good commercial for some sort of beer. Or pipe tobacco.

I think I'd like to play tennis. Or like when I was a kid, I was in great shape. Now I'm not in good shape. But when I was a kid, I was so uncoordinated yeah and now like i play soccer in the summers i thought you were saying the buff go on yeah in the 70s in the buff and i uh like when i was a kid i would try to do that thing where you juggle the ball on your foot and i could do i was could get two bounces and then ball ball flies away. Now I'm great at it. Really? And when I was a kid, I would play tennis.

And I would play it with my dad. And I would just launch the ball out. My best part of tennis was apologizing to people for ruining their games by shooting. Now, you guys, you grew up out here in BC, as did Dave. And the thing is, I know a lot more people out here that play tennis because I think you could play it quite a bit longer than just – there was like a month or two in Calgary where you could play tennis. So there was very little in the way of tennis courts. And any tennis courts that existed were cement.

Are they all? Asphalt, asphalt. No, it would be cement. They're not very... All the tennis courts would be indoor because it's mostly snowing and cold. That's a good quality then. Yeah, except that you would have to be then part of a club

or something like that in order to play tennis. So tennis, to me, is like this. I was part of a club. I took tennis lessons. Yeah. Really? I was atrocious. Oh, my goodness.

Because I don't understand anything about tennis. I don't know any of the rules. I don't know. Like, I know out. That's it. I know out of bounds. But I don't know how the scoring system works. Somebody tried to explain it to me

My cousin tried to teach me how to play tennis It's like It might as well be Mars Ball Which is a thing I just made up Some sort of game they play on Mars It is a weird Scoring system I don't know why they don't just go 1, 2, 3, 4

Yeah It's probably got some archaic old English logic behind it. Or French. That's where love comes from. Is it really? It's luff, because the zero looks like an egg. Really? Yep.

But in the English world, they say love. Yeah. Right? Yeah. See, right there. I was like, well, I don't know. Yeah. Right? Yeah. That. See, right there. I was like, well, I don't know. It all dates back to 1066. When the Normans invaded the island of Britain. And the Saxons were there.

The Germanic hordes. The Germans got such a bad rap in those days. They were the hordes. Still to this day. They just can't dig their way out of a bad reputation. Out of a horde reputation. I'll curse this Rhineland. Dave, you got it overheard?

What'd you got? I found this while going through my wallet. I write down things and put them in my wallet in case I need them later. Cash them in for chips. Yeah. I found this overheard that in April, I went to the Halifax Comedy Fest. And I was very sick then. And I watched TV in my hotel room all day.

And there was this commercial that kept coming on for a car show. And this actually relates to our earlier mention of early 90s wrestlers. Because there was like a vintage car show going on. And it was like a family event. And it said, bring the kids! Meet Diego and Dora! And meet professional wrestler Virgil! Really? Yeah.

Bodyguard? Virgil, Ted DiBiase's bodyguard. He was always charged, wasn't he just charged with cleaning up DiBiase's messes? DiBiase would throw money at people? And he was a black guy, too. I can't believe the racism that's just so prevalent. Virgil,

I can't even remember. Was he just throwing money at the guy all the time? Yeah. And there was somebody called Papa Shango that was pretty racist. Papa Shango. Yokozuna was very racist. Kamala. Do you guys remember when Donald Trump It was pretty racist. Papa Shango. Yokozuna was very racist. Kamala. Kamala.

Oh, my goodness. Do you guys remember when Donald Trump was in the WWF for a brief time? Yes. Wasn't that... There was a competition. Who was going to shave a head? Is that what you're talking about? It was Trump versus Vince McMahon. Vince McMahon.

For whatever reason, this like... Was this the 90s? Oh, yeah. Okay. Later than the 90s. Really? Early aughts, I would say. Really?

Okay. The shaving head match? It was around when I graduated from high school. So either late 90s or early 2000s. Okay. Because I remember that. You had a really long graduation. I just couldn't believe that this wealthy millionaire

successful businessman is like you know what I'm going to wrestle another man in a fake wrestling league he knows what money is he doesn't know what shame is that's what I was just going to say the one descriptor you left out was shameless

he is in currently there's this Macy's commercial uh or maybe it's not running anymore but it's basically every celebrity that has some product for sale in macy's appears in this commercial and at the very end it's trump who also is currently appearing in an ad for the brick yeah like canadian discount furniture. The Brick. Yeah, discount furniture. He's got his own line of furniture. He's opening a Best Buy next week. Yeah, he's going to play the greatest hits of the Black Eyed Peas.

He's going to be the halftime show at the Grey Cup. Comes out in waves. Oh, wonderful. Anyway, you haven't overheard, I understand. I do. It was from a week ago or two weeks ago at the Louis C.K. show while I was waiting in line to get in the front door. Just very briefly, somebody walked by with their friend and the only piece of the conversation I heard was oh man, Matt would be really good at being Mexican.

So the context, I don't think you need the context. You just, Matt, if you're out there. I imagine Matt has a moustache or mustache. Or maybe Matt was short for Mattador. Moustache or Mustache. Or maybe Matt was short for Matador. So yeah, that was my brief overheard.

And then we've got some that listeners have sent in. Alright, this is from Nathan D. Nathan Detroit? Nathan Detroit. We're not supposed to say last names.

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Why is good old reliable? He has two. The first one was, I was biking home from school and I saw these little girls, the youngest being about six and the eldest maybe eight.

They were raking the front with those tiny little plastic rakes parents give their kids to make them feel helpful. The youngest girl loudly sighs, and then she grunts and throws down her rake and does a clumsy somersault.

The eight-year-old girl turns to her and yells, damn it, Juniper, we're here to do work, not tricks. Which is pretty fantastic. The best part is that her name is Juniper. Like the berry. The second one was I was on an airplane and we had some turbulence.

You know that feeling when the plane drops really fast and your stomach goes. Yeah, I know what turbulence is. But you know that feeling. I know, you're just reading. Well, that happened, and right as it was happening, I heard someone behind me say, ooh, that feels good. Was it Connor? Because Connor likes that.

Do you like that when that happens? I do, yeah. Really? I like the looking around at other people who are like, I was very serious earlier in the flight, but now I'm making a face. Alright, this is from Graham D. Was at the

Saanich Police Department scouting a location for a movie in Victoria. I was walking out of the lockup area into the reception area, and this newly arrested individual was on the phone. I'm guessing to his parole officer. He was drunk as funk. I've never heard that expression before.

He was drunk as funk. And all I heard was, supposedly the arresting officer saw me masturbating into the pond. Allegedly. That's prison speak. Not in the pond. Into the pond into the pond I bet if you hung around a phone in a prison you would get

a thousand overheards a day oh yeah if there's anybody out there that works in corrections at all I think you're probably an overheard gold mine and you don't even know it this is from Candice M i was waiting i was waiting at a bus stop at georgia and thurlow on a wednesday afternoon next to a guy who looked about 30 he made a call and when

the guy picked up this is what he said hey man so you know how i'm only here for a couple of days well i decided to go to stanley park today because I'd never been there before, right? So I'm walking along some secluded trail smoking a J when I see a guy with a movie camera there right in front of me. So I look over at what he's filming and there's two guys doing this chick. I know. They're just filming this porno there in the forest. So then they ask me if i want to join in and i'm like no way man my girlfriend's way too hot for that shit which i don't think there

was any previous mention of a girlfriend and there's no way they asked him to join he made that i i don't know how much of that story I believe. I believe the part where he was smoking a J and then everything else in it was a lie. I was like 18 one time. For about a year. And this was around the Donald Trump wrestling thing. Pretty much. And this guy, we were eating Denny's late at night.

And we're sitting inside and this uh girl comes in she's like approaches a table of like 10 of us and is like we are filming a porno out in the limousine right now do any of you guys want to be in this porno oh my goodness um this is terrifying and they were out to steal some wallets, it sounds like. Take your pants off. First, you guys all got to take your pants off. When I was in university, there was a girl who I knew her in first year. And between first and second year, freshman and sophomore year for you Americans, she started doing porno. Really? Yeah.

That's illegal, isn't it? Between your senior year. She was 18. Oh, 18. Sorry. How does it go in the States? It goes junior, freshman, sophomore, junior, senior. You can do porno when you're done high school, right?

Yeah, but she was in between junior and senior. Oh, okay. You can do porno when you're done high school, right? Yeah. Yeah, but she was in between junior and senior. She was in university. Oh, she was in university. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Yeah, okay. I got confused. Okay, so she started doing pornos.

I apologize. And then I never saw them, though. Everyone, I don't know that they raved about them, but it's something you, if you know someone who did a porno, you definitely want to see them do a porno, unless it's the comedian. did a porno you definitely want to see them do a porno unless it's the comedian there is a uh there is a comedian in town who also does uh pornography uh more pornography now than comedy and uh a friend uh kind of circulated a clip of it through everybody's inbox. Yeah, and then I saw it. I don't think being

around this gentleman would ever be the same quality of experience ever again. It's always been colored by the pornography. But he... He does colored pornography. It seems to be that he's not really... He does colored pornography, by the way.

It seems to be that he's not really a star. He seems to participate in group activities where he is just a faceless, nameless face. Penis. Yeah, nameless penis. So then I guess we have called in. Yeah, we do. So people have called in some overhears. So 206-339-8328.

I'm still working through all the ones from our hiatus. So let's try to get a few done today. This morning we had some kids come to our door on a bottle drive. They were collecting bottles for their hockey team. So we opened up the garage and let them in, and my husband and I were going through the bottles and putting them in boxes and everything and kind of getting them all organized. And I overheard one of the little boys lean over to his friend and say, See, I told you we'd hit the jackpot. I don't know what that says about us, whether we're extremely generous

or maybe too lazy to go to the bottle depot or perhaps alcoholics. I was going to say booze hounds. Did either of you guys in your youth participate in any bottle drives? No. I was never allowed.

Oh, really? No. I just... No, not really. I did it for cubs. Did you ever do a... It's very strange. It's like trick-or-treating, but on a complete, it's in a morning time setting. So a lot of people are showing up to the door in their robes.

It's very intimate. Like, it's very weird. Not sexy intimate, though. Not those kind of robes. I remember when I was a kid, we used to do, we used to sell wrapping paper for charity. And I think now, now when I think back, the idea was going door to door to sell wrapping paper. I sold it to my parents and that was it. And they sold it at the office maybe?

No, not even. They probably just bought it. I'll take one. Because it was never a competition or anything. Oh, so you were just mom and dad buying it. Did you need wrapping paper? We had this 45 minute presentation in class today. I was doodling. I only had to do

the things where they're like I would run around a track and people would pledge. I was doodling. I only had to do the things where they're like, I would run around a track, and people would pledge. They'd be like, if you complete this run, then we'll give you 20 bucks. What about Movember?

Or what was that called? Jump Rope for Heart? Never did that. Have you ever heard of that? No. That's the name of it? It was called Jump Rope for Heart, and it was for the Heart and Stroke Foundation.

And it was, you would jump. Same thing. You would pledge for a number of skipping rope jumps. I will give one thing. Well, you almost made it, Grim. This is going back in my wallet. Yeah, life's cruel, isn't it? All right, here's another.

Hey, Graham and Dave. It's Allie from Victoria with an overheard. I was walking downtown last night, and I walked past this group of guys, and I just hear one of them say, I've never come in my pants on accident. So I thought that was pretty special. Bye. When did saying on accident become a way, like moving away from the... Sure, the thrust of the overheard.

Why sub out bi for on? Bi works so well. When you're talking about monosyllabic words, bi is just as good as on. But I've heard on accident quite a bit. But I know it's wrong. Oh, I know it's wrong, too. Because I've lived my life. Also, a word that went away, I thought was going to go away completely with the end of the George Bush era,

was the word agreeance, which is not a word. Right. And I thought, okay, well, people will get back to saying the word agreement, which is the word. Oh, not so. I've heard agreeance

several times this year. That's kind of a sweet legacy, though. Like, he's now just invented a new word. He's president nuclear. Do we have another one? Oh, we got a few more. Oh, really? Great. I'll say a couple more today. Okay.

Fun. Hey, Graham and Dave, this is Jim from Nebraska. I haven't overheard. The father said, you know, I don't like Metallica. The 13-year-old boy said, you don't like Metallica? And then the father replied with,

no, and I don't like Mangadeth either. So I thought that was pretty neat. Mangadeth. Mangadeth! Oh, man. That's an amazing band. Yeah. Mangadeth, Mangodeth.

All really good bands. When I was in grade 9, it was the year anniversary of when Kurt Cobain had killed himself. And someone graffitied on our school, Kurt Cobain, 1967 to 1994. And there was at this school assembly, we never had any graffiti at my school. And it was a big deal when someone graffitied this. And the principal said, Oh, I know a lot of you guys were big fans of Niverna. Niverna!

Oh, do your research, principal. Niverna. Oh, man, that's good. All right, one more. Niverner Herzog. Now, last week we did one where we thought a guy was doing a fake black voice, and it was kind of racist. Yes.

Enjoy this one. Oh, goodness. Oh, no. Hey, this is Ryan in Seattle. I have an overheard for you. I was in Kentucky Fried Chicken here in Lower Queen Anne in Seattle, and I got in line behind this woman. We'll say she was kind of zaftig. She orders two buckets of chicken.

And the girl at the counter says, will that be for here to go? And the woman says, do I look like I'm going to sit here and eat 24 pieces of chicken? And the girl behind the counter says, bitch, I don't know your life. I do kind of like that. Bitch, I don't know your life. I do kind of like that. Bitch, I don't know your life. It sounds made up, though, right? I don't want to make made up judgments. If you're working in customer service,

you don't say bitch to your customer. Although, I think I have been called bitch by a customer service representative in the States. Oh, no. I would lose my mind. Would you? I would get so mad.

That kind of stuff burns me up. But what if they said it in a conversational way, like, bitch, please? I guess that's better. I'd still raise an eyebrow. Because they are saying please. That's polite. That's true. That's good. I'd still like raising... I would raise an eyebrow. Because they are saying please. That's polite. That's true. That's hot.

Bitch, somebody called me a bitch. Thank you for your patience, bitch. I'd be like, what? Well, fair enough. This call may be monitored, bitch. Is that all the... That's all we'll do today. Yeah, if anybody wants to call us,

the phone number is 206-339-8328. 206-339-TEET. And actually, there is... We started a forum, stoppodcastingyourself.com slash forum, and there's a thread of overheards, and we're enjoying that. Yeah, but do check out the the forum because it's got everything. It's got the recap blog. It's got a forum. It's got links to all the guests that have been on this year's show over the past 86 episodes.

Now, one thing we were talking about last week, Dave and I were chatting about childhood traumas that ended up in Stitches. Not necessarily. Yours didn't end up in Stitches. No, but I was laughing so hard I was in stitches. Yeah. Dave had a... You were at London Drugs? Yeah.

And a shovel fell down on your head? No. Ultimate internet video. Fail. Shovel fail. Do you have anything like that from when you were a kid that you had a trauma, you had to get stitches, or some kind of stupid accident?

I got a couple doozies here for you, Grant. Oh, do you? Oh, this is good, this is good. All right. Well, I think, first of all, everyone's got, a lot of people, a disproportionate number of people have a chin scar. I agree with that.

Chin seems to take it on the chin. So my first one, I was three years old. I was wrapped in a towel and I fell from six feet off of somebody's shoulders down to my face. Were you watching a parade? I was at a swimming pool, so probably not the best location. Oh, okay. Like sitting on somebody's shoulders.

Was that a stitch? That was 18 stitches. Oh my goodness. So that was a huge... I got a full on scar there, yeah. And you had a tiny body then too, so 18 stitches is probably pretty big. Yeah, a large portion. And then

I broke my femur when I was playing soccer when I was a kid, which is the thigh, which is the biggest bone in the body. Wow. Because you've got such fat thighs. And then the... Oh, thank you. And then, I think, the kind of...

The cherry on top was in grade 11, I had been going to breakdance lessons. Yes. At the community center. At the community center. Really? Yeah. Oh, I was making fun of itdance lessons. Yes. Right. At the community center. At the community center. Really? Yeah. Oh, I was making fun of it. I know you were.

And during a particularly fateful PE class, I decided to demonstrate my sixth step, which is the basic breakdancing move. Sure. And I broke my thumb. Oh, wow. Yeah. Now, the sixth step is, what is that in breakdancing talk?

It's where you look like you're running around a little circle on your hands and feet. Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And did you have to go, like, did they have to set the thumb, or did they do the old football coach thing? No, wait. It wasn't dislocated.

It was broken, right? Oh, it was broken. Everybody heard the crack. Oh, man. And then someone from the side is like, you broke your thumb, didn't you? You got called out on it. Sorry, that's very funny.

So, yeah, we got a couple of listeners that sent in their childhood traumas. I think some stitches, maybe possibly one poisoning. That was my story from last week, was when I got poisoned by licking a battery.

Well, you thought the batteries were covered in caramel. Yeah, butterscotch To be more precise It's a battle of wits that I lost Yeah, exactly But oh, imagine if I had discovered How to create

Butterscotch from a battery Alright When I was about, this is from Christine H When I was about five or six My friend Sam and I made friends with a kid who moved in across the street. I don't remember the girl or boy, but I remember that the mom was named Judy, and she drove a green 1970s VW Westfalia. The reason I remember this vehicle so well will be revealed. Foreshadowing, right? In brackets.

We were playing in the backyard, the three of us. A hand shovel and a bucket were involved and also some dirt. I remember these little purple and white pebble-shaped things that we were planting, pretending they were beans. The next thing I recall is Judy, the mom, coming out and screaming at us to find out if we had been eating the pebbly things. Sam said that she'd eaten some and Judy, the mom, put us all in the van to take us to the hospital. Creepy note, she obviously didn't call any of our parents, who were right across the street. Sam and I lived next to each other. I remember thinking the van was cool because it had a fridge inside, and she had me sit in the well of a spare tire on the

floor because there weren't enough seats. At the hospital, I remember being bored in the examination room and sort of mad that Sam was getting all the attention. I also remember Sam's mom arriving and yelling at Judy, I'm pretty sure that we never played with that kid again, even though the green van was in the driveway until I started junior high. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah.

The danger mobile. Yeah, you're going to sit in this rusted out wheel well. Did you ever, there were some cool cars when I was a kid. Did you ever sit in a Volvo that had the seats facing backwards? Yes, I did. Yeah. What were those called? Those are called something.

They were called... Like, I want to say... They were in the trunk portion. I want to say that they were called something that harkened back to, like, gangster days. But maybe I'm thinking of suicide doors. Suicide doors is cool, too. My parents had a Toyota van that had the captain's chairs in the middle

that you could either face forward or backwards. Your parents had a Previa, didn't they? Toyota Previa? Was it called a Previa? We just called it a Toyota van. I think my parents had a van like that and the captain's chairs swiveled around. And there was a little fridge in the front.

Oh, no fridge. Goodness gracious. It's called a cool box. For beers. Have you guys... For driving beers. What's it called? I think it's the Dodge Stratus.

It's a car that has... The only selling features on it are the... They don't make it anymore. It's named after Trish Stratus, the wrestler. The glove compartment is refrigerated, and when you open up the rear, it's got a hatchback on the back, and there's speakers you can fold down

to have a party, like a tailgate party. What if you were like, all you wanted to put in the glove department were maps? Your registration is frosty. Yeah, that's fine. You hand it to the cop and he's like, Stratus, right?

Sorry, it's so cold. This one is from Dan H. I am clumsy and always have been. When I was a kid about five or six, I was riding around on a bicycle with training wheels. I managed to jackknife the bicycle, which I don't,

can you jackknife a bike? Yeah, yeah. The front wheel goes one way and the bike goes the other way? Sure. Okay. And knock myself out. I didn't get stitches, but I ran home immediately and fell asleep. My parents couldn't wake me up.

I stayed at the hospital for a few days, but all was well because I received a weeble wobble farmhouse as a present for my stupidity. Oh, that's fine. Pretty good. Come out on top, present-wise. Falling asleep. Going home. was a major action in that story. I went home and fell asleep for three days. I had a thing where I think it was me and my brother were young, and I don't recall any of this, but I've been told that for some reason,

and I'm sure it was because as a kid i still like i was very little kid and didn't understand cause and effect as much and threw a can of beans at my brother's head which then split open his head which i think i went from this is a great idea to being horrified beyond are you the oldest i am the eldest you should you should know better should i have no i i'm the oldest too and i've definitely like my brother's seven years younger than me and i've split his head open a couple times yeah i apologize again to my brother my brother's the oldest and he i remember once there was a guy who came over my brother had a bunch of friends over jumping on the trampoline

and this guy came over who lived in the neighborhood and my brother didn a bunch of friends over jumping on the trampoline and this guy came over who lived in the neighborhood and my brother didn't like him no one knew him and uh my brother got the staple gun and he i don't like where this is going he tested it out and he tested it out no staples came out so he went up to the guy and stapled his arm and a staple came out. Oh, no! That's so terrible. It's the meanest thing to, like, the ultimate bully. Yeah. Oh, yeah?

And the guy just being so shocked. Like, what did you just... And my brother's like, I tested it. It didn't work. Anyway. So, yeah, those were a lot of fun. If anybody does have any of those kind of childhood traumas, I think they're pretty funny. As long as you came out on top of it. No tragic ones, please.

My next roommate of mine that I used to live with, his brother shot him in the ass with a pellet gun at point-blank range. And it went deep into the meat. Like hospital visits. Like colonic. Oh, man. But yeah, you can send any and all stories of that ilk to Stop Podcasting Yourself at gmail.com. When I was in high school,

I was friends with these four other guys and my one friend had a broken arm at the time so he started, as a joke, doing fake tags. And his fake, because he would tag with his left hand. Right. And he would tag Orpheus, and it would have, like, a stupid devil tail. It was just this crappy joke. Turned into this, like, fake gang called the OWC.

The Orpheus Wrecking Crew. And we would do things, like, we were, like, very inspired by, like like Tom Green and stuff at the time, you know. Famous gang leader Tom Green. Yeah. One of the main things that we would do is get gasoline and like write things in gas. Where did you grow up? West Vancouver. Okay.

So you could like see the place, you know. So you'd write, don't have a cow mostly we'd just write OWC and the O would be a pentagram we had filled up this this milk jug filled with gas and this one friend of mine

it was in the summer, he was wearing shorts and military boots. And, you know, they spelled out OWC and lit it on fire. And it was flaming and everything was good.

And the fire, or the gas had spilled back to the milk jug. So the fire trailed all the way back to the milk jug and lit the milk jug on fire. Obviously, there's no pressure. It's not sealed, so it's not going to blow up. It just starts flaming.

My friend is like, oh, we don't want this. Maybe it will blow up. Let's get this out of here. He kicks it. He tries to kick it out of the way, but the fire had melted the plastic. He kicked right through the milk jug. It sprayed gas all over his body and then ignited him

so then he's like arms flailing on fire and everyone's like this is the worst thing that could have happened so he flops on the ground and a like um a bunch of people dive on

top of him he stops yeah we like okay let's let's put him out and his boots are melted like like like on his feet and stuff like that and he's like his legs are like like fried so uh put him in a car and then we're like jo Joe we gotta take you to the hospital and he's like and he's like no no I'm fine I'll just go to like a clinic tomorrow

or something like that put some calamine lotion on it free clinic get some condoms he was in the uh intensive care

burn unit for like a couple weeks after that really oh and his mom just never we said no tragic stories. Yeah. Oh, he's fine now.

He's a successful guitarist. That young man's name is now Slash. Jeff Healy. This is Joe Satriani. Vian Satch. Alright. Now, here's the thing. Connor, when he came over today, was kind enough to bring over

You brought over treats, which is very nice You brought over a box of Nerds Yep One half, I think, was, what was it, blueberry? It's right there, it's right in front of your face Well, one half was grape and one half was strawberry And he also brought a pack of barbecue corn nuts Right, which is a favorite

Yeah, who doesn't love corn nuts? I don't't because i'm afraid of them being nuts right i know they're not sure um but i was at london drugs a couple of weeks ago and i came across a candy i've never heard of before you've heard of jelly belly jelly beans yeah right they're like they have all sorts of flavors well they've come out with this product called bean boozled right which it says, dare to compare, and it says caution, contains weird and wild flavors. And it's exactly the same size as a pack of Nerds.

Absolutely. And it says right on it, this is the first edition. If you can see that in the corner. It looks a lot like a pack of Nerds. You should keep it in the original wrapping and actually in my lard. Yeah, and hang it on the wall. This is the thing, though. It says

these jelly bellies may look alike, but they could not taste more different from each other. Think you can tell them apart. And what has happened is they've got eight different types in there, but there's ones that are matching colors. So there's one that's buttered popcorn,

but the same color, there's one that's rotten egg. Oh. Oh, no. Yes. There's one that's buttered popcorn, but the same color, there's one that's rotten egg. Oh. Oh, no. Yes. There's one that's juicy pear, and the other one is booger. No. What does booger taste like? I don't know.

That's terrible. There's one that's peach, and there's one that's vomit, and then there's one that's toothpaste and one that's berry blue. So I think if you get a blue one, you're pretty safe either way. Because those are two things. Well, then let's dole these out. Okay blue one, you're pretty safe either way. Because those are two things. Let's dole these out. Oh, we're eating these? Yeah. This is going to be like...

Are you in for a little Russian roulette? I like candy that challenges my taste buds and offends me. Okay. So do we all get an opportunity to maybe taste vomit? Yes. I think that is the grossest to me. Oh, and then on's on the other side.

I'm sorry. There is more than eight. There's one that's caramel corn or it's moldy cheese. Okay. One that's top banana or pencil shavings. That I wouldn't mind. Yeah. One is coconut and one is baby wipes.

I don't know. That's a fresh smell. You associate it with a baby's wiped ass. Oh, is there poop in it? No. And one is plum and one is black pepper. That's okay. That's not bad.

These are human flavors. Okay, so. How are we going to distribute here? I don't know. What do you think is the best way? I didn't really think this. I'll go get a small bowl and we can. Okay.

What if one person got, you doled out two colors, and then one person got, you know, like, it's like a test. Okay. Yeah, that's the way to do it. I think Connor came up with a good way, is that each person, like, two people will take one of each color and see. Okay. And, like, so, you know, you and I will both take a blue or a white The blues are the winners right? The blues are the ones

Yeah blue is the one that you can't really go The light blue not the dark blue Tell me what to take Okay I'm gonna take This That one the red and Brown speckle one Is the one that's potentially vomit.

Okay. Do you want to do that? Is that this? This kind? That's that kind. So is there a matching one to that? Okay. And this?

Are these both the same? No, that one is potentially pencil shavings or top banana. Okay. Oh, there's another one. There. It's hiding underneath. All three of us take one? All right.

Do we do it all on the same go? Okay, what are these potentially? This is either vomit. Okay. I'm sorry if anybody's eating their dinner while listening to this. Or peach. Or eating vomit. Yeah.

This is vomit or peach. All right. All right. On three. Peach. Peach.. On three. Peach. Peach. Vomit. Did it actually taste like vomit?

Well, it didn't taste like peach. There's a few more of these peach ones. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Well, I think I'm out because I already won the vomit lottery. You're doing a round robin. Did you already go? No, why?

That's definitely not Peach. Huh? Hunter slowly. Although he doesn't seem convinced. One way or the other. You knew Peach right away. Oh, that's funny. Oh my goodness.

Here's a garbage guy right there. Oh my goodness. Here's a garbage guy right there. Oh no. It has like the bio taste. Yeah. Oh my god. Wow. This game is a lot more fun than I could have possibly thought.

What are these white ones here? The white ones are either baby wipes or coconut. I don't like either of those flavors, to be honest. How about let's go for the kind of the off white ones there. They're rotten egg

or buttered popcorn. That's bad both ways. Bad both ways? I don't like buttered popcorn. Do you like rotten eggs? No. Okay. Are you going to... It's the one with the speckles. Like, it's...

Oh, this has no speckles. Oh, well, I don't know what that is. I think that may be the baby wipes or... Aren't they all, like... No, I think... The white one? I don't think these are... What was that?

Is it just white? I don't know what that was. That's the just white one. So that one is baby wipes or coconut. It may have been inside a baby. Is this one? What I'm doing now. What is that one?

No, that's rotten egg or butter popcorn. Which one are we doing? I don't know. Well, let me try what this one is. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, God!

The odds are in your favor, Connor. I don't know if this is the same as the other one. Just eat it. That was rotten egg. Okay, what is this one? What is this one? I think that one... Well, I don't know.

That one could be either... I think that's the rotten egg butter popcorn one. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, man. This is turning into that SNL sketch where they're like, oh, this milk's gone bad. Taste it.

Yeah. Or it's like the old Bob and Doug McKenzie sketch of Wet Head where they're shaking the beers and... Okay. Okay, what are the blue good ones? Which are the blue good ones? Because I don't want to keep tasting bad things.

The blue good ones are toothpaste or berry blue. Which blue? This light blue. Okay, they look like toothpaste. I'll grab that one. They look like a toothpaste. Light blue. All right.

And I think this is enough. I don't want to eat anymore. Okay. All right anymore No toothpaste But really tastes like toothpaste What did you get? Berry blue I think all in all Connor came out

Widely ahead I did get a rotten egg and a vomit though Which were both very terrible And the worst part is that i didn't know it was vomit until like a good three solid chews and also it uh the the bothering part is under ingredients it says natural and artificial flavors so we were gonna make regular egg flavored but they went bad or they just or there's a guy at the factory who just barfs into the van so if you own a deceptive candy company and you would like to sponsor this show

we will do a taste segment uh oh absolutely at the drop of a jelly bean uh so those are for anybody who wants to just like fill up a jelly bean jar So those are for anybody who wants to just fill up a jelly bean jar with possibly hilarious prank jelly beans. They're called bean boozled. And yeah, so is that... Are we at the end of our rope? Rope.

Connor, I know you have the Christmas special coming up. When is the next Bronx Cheer at the Biltmore? That's going to be happening Tuesday, November 17th. That's actually our two-year anniversary of doing Bronx Cheer. Oh, great. If you live in Vancouver, you're in Vancouver

during that time. It's a great show. A lot of fun. Videos, sketch, all sorts of different surprises each and every time. And go to BronxCheerComedy.com That's right. I recently went there

and revisited a video I saw about a year ago which is just you falling down stairs a lot. What's it called? It's called The Search for the Funniest Thing. It was like

looking for a universally funny concept. It's very funny. I remember one time I think I want to say it was at Bronx Cheer but it might have been at the offshoot of bronze tier to the hero show where you set up a whole set

only to fall through the set the setup of the set took about seven minutes and then you just fell over on the set and destroyed it that was fun i've never i've wanted to take that on the road but it like requires me to like like have like a can cart of things that fall and smash and stuff like that. And so check out bronxsteercomedy.com. And I already forget. What was the Christmas website? That's www.mentalbeast.com. Mental Beast.

Make sure you get the www in there, too. You got to. It's on the World Wide. And if you want to catch us on the World Wide Web, it's stoppodcastingyourself.com and date me up. Probably. And if not, just go to stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com I'll post

pictures from today's episode. Including Zardog. Which is well worth the trip. And if you do want to write to us, it's stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com And please do come back next week. trip and if you do want to write to us it's stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com and please do come back next week and if you enjoyed the show tell your friends that's

how we're able to let it grow and send us your comments and overheards and all the sorts of things like that and we'll be back here next week thanks for having me guys stop podcasting yourself you thought I was done, but I wasn't.