Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 866 - Abdul Aziz

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

Comedian Abdul Aziz returns to talk expensive pranks, cucumber, and Baby Reindeer.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 866 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man, it's a countdown. The spookiest day of the year. There's just over a week left.

He's Revan, he's got his costume picked out, he's figured out what candies he's going to give out this year, he's got a spooky playlist put together. It's the very spooky Dave Schoenke. Yeah I'm Getting the razor blades to put in apples Yep, it's spooky spooktastic time of year and we no one does it spookier than us if you like You know spookiness Gabagool. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just watching the Sopranos for the first time and I didn't know that was a thing, a real thing. I thought it was a made up thing then.

Oh no. You know what it is though. No, is it meats? Well, yeah. It's well, because you know how they'll like change mozzarella to mozzarella. Mozzarella. They'll change capicola to guava.

Go. Ah, those guys. Madam, what a lovable bunch of scams. Yeah. Our guest today returning guest to the podcast. He is the host of a podcast called spelt lore, which is a D and D based podcast and a brand new podcast called mall brats. It's a dual is he.

Hello. Hello. Good to see you guys. It's very nice to see you. Thank you for coming on the show. Thank you for having me back. I love doing it. Now should we get to know us? Let's get to know us. Get to know us. So the elephant in the room is not an elephant at all Dual has brung us An edible arrangement, and it's not like edibles like What if it is though? Yeah, I did put LSD abuse

LSD is edible is that not what people are doing? LSD after work. I really heard about these and I've I've never seen them in person. It's like a Flower arrangement the flowers are all melons. Yeah, it's um, and it's comes in a little pot I think it's like a little, yeah, yeah, little plastic pot, not like a cardboard thing, but it comes in a beautiful cardboard box. And the center of the arrangement is lettuce. Yep. That's true. Is it lettuce or kale?

Might be kale, tarty. We've got melon, orange melon, what do you call the green melon? What is that? What do you call the orange melon? Just melon, I guess. And then cantaloupe is the- Oh no guess and then cantaloupe is the no honeydew and cantaloupe. I don't know anything about Melon, it's why are you guys specifically ignoring the strawberries? There are strawberries some are chocolate covered and some are regular. Yeah, and then there are flowers made of

Yeah, and then there are flowers made of Pine apple pine apple then the center of the flower is a bald melon Pretty good. Yeah, can it smells really good. It smells good for now. What is the what's your you don't know melons? I know of them. I'm not I'm not up on my melons. I guess what's your what do you like melon wise water? Yeah? Yeah? I love cantaloupes my number one melon. It's your number one. Yeah, holy shit And listeners We can't just stare at this the whole show so well, I'm gonna you're gonna hear some chomping as we go

You're gonna you don't think it's all I want to do is stare at it. You don't want to chomp on it Oh, no, I want chomp on it. How about you chewing gum? Not anymore. What are you gonna leave in the eating parts of the show? He's gonna amplify them. What do you mean? Are you gonna leave it us eating this the edible arrangement Well, it's not gonna eat itself. Yeah You brought a giant edible arrangement and you're like, hey, Dave, wanna edit around this? I was trying to create more work for you, Dave.

Misaccomplished. Oh man, this is delicious. I think the person who cut this up, I had previously cut up an onion arrangement. Oh, that'd be amazing. It was a huge onion ring bouquet. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. There's a Bloomin' Onions store in the back.

Bloomin' Onions are kind of like a flower as well. Now what, because I know I've had one at like a Chili's in Scotland or something like that, a Bloomin' Onions, but I don't remember what it was. It was at Chili's in Scotland? Yeah, at the airport. Whoa. Oh, is it Chili's to go? No, it was sitting, it was eating chilies.

Is it called Chili's to go, or is it called Chili's Express? Or yeah, is it Chili's to go? I think it's the Chili's to go. There's one in Calgary. It's a, it's a, like of, you just, there's no seating. You just go and grab Chili's and then, yeah. Oh, cause there's one in Calgary that you sit at, but it's not called chilies.

Why is it called chilies? Maybe because you can get it to go to take on the plane. Oh my God, can you imagine? Baby back ribs on a plane. Bloom an onion on a plane. So a bloom an onion is an onion that's carved. Yeah. Like cut up. And then fried.

And then yeah, battered and fried. And when, because it has been cut up, it blooms in the oil. Oh, it doesn't bloom beforehand. I think they maybe like fold it a bit, but it like, I think the, I don't know. I tried it and man, I can tell you, after one bite, you do not need a second bite.

It is. You're in one bite. Yeah. So it's like, what the fuck did I order, you know? And a bloomin' onion is, You had one bite! I was like, what the fuck did I order, you know? And a Bloomin' Onion is, I think a Bloomin' Onion is the one called, is the one from Outback Steakhouse? Yeah, that's why I miss Outback Steakhouse.

You miss it? Yeah. Is it not around anymore? No, they got rid of it like 10 years ago. What? It's still down in the States, so when I was in Indianapolis, I like, I went to one and it ordered a single Bloomin' Onion for myself and they're like, okay, you can sit at the bar and eat.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not gonna serve you at a table. Yeah, that is funny to go to a restaurant. I'll just have the pretzels. Is it chili? Chili's called an awesome blossom. Oh, awesome blossom that oh, that's a better name And you'd have to know what the bloom an onion was to get the awesome blossom, right? Right because there's no onion in the end. Oh but uh

Guess the amount of calories that I blew an onion 4000. I'm gonna say 3500 you're both high. Uh, 4,000? I'm gonna say... 3,500. You're both high. Yeah, that's right. Oh yeah, there's a bunch of LSD in there. That's a freak. Hahaha! Um, it is 1,900.

That's like... How much you needed a day. Yeah. Hahaha! What if that's what you did? You only... You ate the exact right amount of calories a day, but it was all off of like one disgusting thing.

I don't know what I did wrong, but now in my Instagram algorithm, it's telling me like giving me like bad like eating disorders. Like you need help type of stuff. Or is it encouraging you to have an eating disorder? It's like Thin Swoap. Sort of like, here's how many, here's like different body shapes and different calorie counts.

Which is you, are you a pear? They have an eating disorder, Dave. That's what Instagram sounds like in my head. When I did the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, a reviewer said that I was Womble-shaped, and I was like, what the fuck is Womble? And I looked it up, not complimentary at all. Kind of pear-shaped.

Is it a Womble like those, like, the Teletubby version, the version of the Teletubbies that they have over there? Maybe? I just remember looking it up and thinking, well that was certainly not a compliment. Hair-shaped, kind of like a barba papa. But yeah, anyways, wumbles. I was a- I'm a wumble shaped. Or a weeble. Weebles wobble. Well, but they don't fall down. Yeah, but you're constantly falling down. So, um, it's the edibles.

And now Abdul also brought us drinks. We'll get to those in a bit, but first I gotta eat something. And apparently I have editing to do. Abdul, what's going on with- You've outdone yourself. Thank you. Thank you, by the way. I'll try and do go bigger next time. Cause can I say one of my favorite Abdul things

that you've done was on the, you were on the radio show, The Debaters. The Debaters. The Debaters. And you found out that the debaters.ca, nobody had acquired that. It was up for grabs. You bought it and posted pictures of yourself on the site. It's still up.

You can go to the debaters.ca and see a fake CBC news article about me winning The Debaters. Just like so much extra work for you, but you did it. How did it come into, did you use that in your debate? Yeah, they put it up on the screen behind me because it was like the debate was about pranks and whether they're good or bad.

And so I, as a prank, bought out the debaters.ca. Are you a prankster? I guess. According to Katie Allen Humphries,ca. Are you a prankster? I guess. According to Katie Allen Humphreys, you're like the ultimate prankster. According to Katie Allen Humphreys and the massive edible arrangement in the room, I do do a lot of gags.

Yeah, this isn't a prank so much because it's delicious. It is delicious. Unless, of course, it's dosed with, yeah, kaopectate. No, the opposite. LSD? LSD. The opposite of kaopectate. No, the opposite. LSD? LSD.

The opposite of kaopectate? What is it that makes you go, oh, what is it? You know what I mean? Like, laxatives? Laxatives, yeah. Oh yeah. What a hilarious way to ruin the podcast.

Is kaopectate in the moodiums? Yeah, I think it's, just I know it from that rap song. It's like at one point he eats something and he says, you're gonna need kaopectate. Okay, whoa. That was in a rap song? Yeah, that was in a rap song. I thought it was, isn't there, who's the,

there's a rap group that does like, they name a bunch of chemicals. And then there's like, and then they do the whole alphabet. What is it? Chemical calisthenics is bunch of chemicals. And then there's like, when they do the whole alphabet, what is it? Chemical calisthenics is one of them. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then what's the other one that's like alphabetic? Arrangements.

Yeah. You get fruit shaped like different covered in different chemicals. It's Blackalicious and they do. Oh, yeah. Boy., alphabet aerobics. Alphabet aerobics. And they do it really quick, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it maybe even goes faster as the alphabet goes on.

But I wondered if, I thought maybe, because K-O Effect Dave was in a rap song, he did like laxative. Is it Rapper's Delight that he has that line as he goes to a friend's and they have a horrible meal? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well in Rappers Delight is like 14 minutes long calories and Like it blooms when you fry it. It's like some of the verses you can get rid of because there's like a whole bit about like Superman is gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. There's some questionable sex stuff that happens in the middle of it. Is Rapper's Delight the one that's like a hip? A hippie? A hippie? That's such a- it seems very like wholesome. Yeah, yeah, parts of it.

I think you're just thinking of the old lady from the wedding singer doing it have you ever seen the wedding singer? I have not seen the wedding singer it's um do you have to see it I guess it's a fun it's a fun romp it was like the first movie to make fun of the 80s yeah it was like mid 90s like we're already making fun of the 80s. I love that Are you an Adam Sandler film fan? I prefer his old stuff. Yeah. Well, this is his old stuff Don't get much older. Maybe with six. Oh, he did it before that like righteous gemstones movie or whatever Well, no, I consider Uncut Jemstance with some of his old stuff.

But like, compared to like his new special. The Safdie brothers made a film before that with Robert Pattinson in it. And it's the whole film, you feel like you can't breathe up. You're just tense the entire, every scene makes it more tense and there's no relief in sight. And it just like, you know, the parts in a movie.

When there's no relief in sight. K.O. Peck date. Is K.O. Peck date a brand name? I think so. I'm picturing it coming in a white bottle with black lettering on it. What's milk of a magnesium? Oh, I don't know.

Magnesium? Sure. Yeah. Oh, boy, I do not know the difference between magnesium and magnesia. Mania. There's like, in chemistry, we learned the difference between an oxide and an oxate and whatever.

But I just bought some MSG, monosodium glutamate. And I was like, why mate, not Nate? It feels like I ought to be Nate. Abdul, take us through some of your best pranks. Okay, let's see, what did I do? I bought the debaters.ca. I was great.

One time when Katie was opening for that wrestler at JFL, I sent her a hot pink stretch SUV limousine. Alright, we gotta break this down a bit. What wrestler? Is that Snake Guy? Oh, Jake the Snake. Or might not have been Jake the Snake. Was there a guy who held a snake that wasn't Jake the Snake? Maybe some of his opponents would pose for that. What or might not have been Jake the snake was there a guy who held a snake that wasn't Jake the snake Maybe some of his opponents would home Gerald the snake abductor

Yeah, the rest were slither Gerald took my snake again. I kept fight Do you do pranks that do all your pranks cost like at least $100. Oh, minimum, minimum. My wife hates it. You've never pranked your wife, have you? Or is that how you guys kind of met and fell in love? I mean, some people would say that our entire marriage is a bit of a prank. But he's kidding, of course, folks. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I've never, I don't think I've ever pranked her Would you I don't think so. I think I respect her too much If you're listening Katie Ellen So Katie Ellen thing was she was opening from I feel like it was Mitch his name was Oh, what's his name? Holy foley, that's what it was. Mick the Snick. He had a sock, maybe that was the... Did he have a sock that you would talk to?

Yeah, he had a sock, it was a puppet. Is he still doing stand-up? Oh, I don't know. I heard it was just him like old ring story. Yeah, there wasn't so much stand-up as it was like a storytelling event with... Yeah, right. With a lighthearted, as opposed to every other wrestler you've ever.

My sister-in-law got me tickets to go see Rick Flair in being interviewed. And man, he was just the oldest man. He just kept getting stuck on details of the story that didn't matter. Oh man. You'd be like, remember that guy? He was probably like five, you know,

he's like six foot, six foot six. He's really tall. What was his name? Six foot six? But he just like kept stuck. He was out of his six foot. And we were flying and it was, who was on that plane? It was a private plane.

It was, it was just listening to the, and everybody in the audience just kept yelling woo and the audience got out of control very quickly. Oh man. Yeah, people had to be asked to leave and. That's like the opposite of a podcast audience where they're the most polite people in the world. Who, a podcast audience? I would say podcast audiences,

like the most polite people I've ever encountered. I think so. Yeah. If there's anything I know about podcast audiences, they're dwindling. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! On a global scale, I don't know.

Ha ha ha! Look, we're not the office ladies, we can only do so much. Um, sure, but one thing I know, I know that podcast audiences love hearing me eat melon. Ha ha ha! And strawberries! We gotta put this behind the paywall oh if you pay you could hear the whole melon oh yeah I'll just isolate the melon just know anytime Abdul is talking Craven and I are eating melon or pineapple

there's pineapple flowers on here my hands are so sticky strawberry, why do you guys keep ignoring the strawberries? I've had two of the strawberries and they're amazing, but they crunch a lot. Yeah, there is a crunch in there. Yeah. So the stretch- I'm not a player, I just crunch a lot. Would you ride in it? Should she go to or from the venue in it?

Okay, so here's what happened is I, like, I had asked if she wanted to hang out after her show Yeah, and then I forgot that I did that and then she was like, where are you? And I was like Victoria And it was on Valentine's Day And she was like, well, this is the she she was like laying it on but she was like worst Valentine's Day Thing you could have done. Stand her up. Is stand me up. So Miles Anderson, another comedian was opening for her.

Yeah, a funny comedian. Yes, hilarious comedian. Great guy. We were just with him in Edmonton. Yes. Yeah. So I basically, I was like, Miles, where are you guys performing?

And he was like, we're at YakYaks. So I sent, I called and it was like 9 p.m. on Valentine's Day. So I called every limousine company in Vancouver and it was like, do you have anyone available? And one of them was like, we have the pink one available. And it showed, so I sent it and it showed up at Yuck Yucks and they waited outside for the show to end for like 40 minutes I think.

And it was the old Yuck Yucks up on 12th. So it was like, there isn't a place for a limousine No, there's a very little part So I think it was obstructing traffic a lot and then at the end Katie was like so Katie had tried to make me feel bad so that I went over over the top to like be like to Kind of like make her yeah, make her feel. bad. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess. Like where's my present? I guess.

And then at the end of the night, she just refused to get in the limousine. That was gonna drive her home? Like, yeah. That's really. A five minute drive. It would've been a five minute drive, yeah. When you think about a limo abstractly,

like first of all, it doesn't seem, unless you knew it was associated with people with a lot of money, it doesn't seem like it's a luxury to have a very long car. No, it seems like something like a hillbilly would have. Like, we got the longest car, put more car in the middle. Yeah, the luxury is not driving it. Yeah No, I mean but like so like account town cars like that's nice or like rolls Royce or whatever But the fact that limos kind of exists like I don't I don't understand where they would have come from You've been in them. I have been in to two limos

one was like Like an SUV size, and then the other one was just normal cars. KDO and special. Was it an SUV as well? Yeah, it was a street kid. Yes, I think it was a street kid. Hot pink SUV.

Have you been in one? No. Wow. You? I've been in two. Yeah. One was, was one grad. My family got home from a vacation when I was a kid.

We got home to the airport and we did the, my dad did the math and he was like, oh, it's cheaper. Like there were six of us in the family. It's cheaper to get a limo than two taxis. So we got a limo home and. It's like you don't open that many bar. We were just flying home from Hawaii and I had, I do believe I barfed seven times.

You should have got some K.O.P.E. while you were in the Y. I remember it was seven because we, there's six people in the family and we didn't have enough barf bags. Oh no. And then the other one wasn't prom. What do they do with the barf bag?

What do they do with the barf bag? Yeah, like after it's full, like where does it that? The garbage. But like, is there a garbage that's just like? Yeah. Just for barf bag yeah like after it's full like where does it that the garbage but like is there a garbage that's just like yeah just for barf just for bar when they just put it down the toilet yeah that's well cuz then you can't put the bag down you want the the I would empty it over all right American Airlines is what you should do I would just squeeze it. I would squeeze the contents down the... Like you're one of mime in like a frosting bag.

Yeah, yeah. In that situation, yeah. And then I would throw the bag in the garbage. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Anyways, it's something I never thought about before today. But, and with prom, was it like 10 of you or? I also barfed in that, yeah.

Did you? You barfed in that yeah No, yeah, you get horizontal to go that's to go I'm sure glad I didn't bring a party sir. Oh, you don't do that. Dave gets horizontal to go. If he sees anything too long. He starts throwing up. I recently watched Vertigo for the first time. Oh yeah, what do you think? It's a lot of walking around. It's a lot of walking around,

but there's also that famous shot, right? Where they're pushing in and zooming out. Pushing in and pulling out. Yeah. But that was done with models. That wasn't like, like it was done with miniatures. Miniatures, yeah. Cause it's easier to push and pull.

Yeah, get some little guys in. Mm-hmm. The, when I was in, no wait, North by Northwest is the one where they scale Mount Rushmore. Yeah, and South by Southwest is where our band is playing. Yeah, our band. Our debut albums player?

Yeah, our debut albums playing there. Get your dicks. Yeah. It's the only thing it might be a prank. Yeah. Wait a minute. A duel? Did the Booker sound a little something like this?

Yeah, and we're getting picked up in a really long like barbecue truck. No really. Barbecue truck. But that does seem like it. I mean, there's gotta be so many different types of limos now that I think of it. I see a lot of them, because my house is by the P&E.

There's a lot of limos left over from the Olympics. Right. Why? I don't know. I think they just styled them all Olympic style and they're still driving around with the Olympic rings. Oh, really? Were they official Olympic vehicles or were they just people making a buck?

They were trying to make a buck, so they made them Olympic style. Now, you live near the Peony, how close? Like a two minute walk. So it's not P&E the flower. Do a lot of people in that neighborhood or do you do people park like have their cell parking on their front lawns? Oh yeah, so many people. It's so much fun, cause it's like, I don't do it, but like it's kind of a, it's one of the few remnants of like the eighties and nineties in Vancouver, it feels like. And it's like people are still like out there,

like selling their parking for like $20. Yeah. It's pretty sick. If, well, if you go down there, 20 bucks is a steal compared to the 20 minute walk you may have to take. I know. They started parking people on the horse track.

Oh, interesting. I had to do that last year. Horses probably hated that. Yeah. Jump over these, fellas. The jockeys were pissed. What are they going to do about it, you know? Yeah, little guys.

So little, but put them on a horse. Oh, shit. Watch them go. They're unstoppable. That's why they do it. Don't let them him on a horse. Let them go. That's why they do it. What's his name from?

Okay. He was the jockey before. Whoa. Yeah. Holy shit. He was tiny. He was a tiny little guy. That's an amazing transition. Yeah.

Oh man. Well, he does even in the start of a daydream believer, he was a tiny little guy. That's an amazing transition. Yeah, oh man. Well, he does, even in the start of Daydream Believer, there's like a little studio noise, and like he starts the song, or they call out the wrong take number or something, and he says, you're just saying that because I'm short, aren't you? Anyway, check it out, Daydream Believer, The Monkeys.

The Monkeys, do you grow up with the monkeys? I didn't. I was in the Middle East between the ages of like four and 11. Okay. So there was a delay. So like. Four, 11 sounds like the height of one of these jockeys. You're just saying that because the guy from the monkeys is short.

And so there was a delay. What was big in culture from ages four to 11 in the Middle East? I remember in 1999, we got Cotton Eye Joe. Cotton Eye Joe? Yeah. So like, they're just the song or the music video or? Oh, just the song. Just the song.

Just the song. Yeah. So what is, who, like, who got it? Like, just the radio stations going no we never listened to radio cuz I was saying that I don't know next we did the same thing obviously it was kind of no because it's someone's singing about him if it hadn't God. I'd be married a long time ago. Holy shit, you're right, Dave. Yeah.

So there. Unless he's singing about himself, where did I come from? Where did I go? Yeah. Yeah, deep. What impact did this have on you and the Middle East culture in general? Let's really dig in on the Middle East now.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And that now went. Yeah. Let's really dig in on the Middle East now. Now when? Yeah. I think it was like there was a thing in the Middle East where if you're growing up there, you know that you're getting a different version of every movie. an Islamic state, they take any Western references out of movies, and also any sex out of movies. So Titanic was like, 45 minutes long. What kind of Western, like every Western reference? Like okay, the Titanic can't leave from England.

Yeah, he can't say partner, he can't say giddy up, these are the Western references we hate. We didn't see it leave, we didn't see it arrive. Well, no one saw it arrive. It was very pro- pro iceberg in all honesty. And like, did they have, because sometimes you see, I think maybe from somewhere in the Middle East, like they did posters, they made their own poster based on the general concept. There's some general concept African ones Yeah, that are they're like beautiful pieces of art on their own. It's just like wild what they tune into

Yeah, like a Star Wars one and like our two details are the biggest thing I guess I'm thinking of the African ones that are like hand-painted like I guess I'm thinking of the African ones that are like hand-painted like With like Rambo and like so much like blood on the painting But yeah, I don't know why why wouldn't you just get the photo one I guess it's just maybe laws or rules or you know, it's cheaper to paint something than print something. That's true Oh, it could be that could be that there was no printers And it's maybe like, you know, one movie theater has it. Yeah. Oh man.

That movie theater, what a ride. Every one a blockbuster. I'm remembering now that Egypt did an unsanctioned copy of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels in Arabic. I'm remembering that Dirty Rotten Scales and Drills is the Martin movie, right? Yeah, they copied it basically frame for frame. Oh, they they didn't just dub it over They actually reshot it. They reshot it in Arabic Wow. I mean, why not? I guess yeah, it's in Russia they do a lot of buying TV series reshooting them as Russian sitcoms and they do a lot of buying TV series, reshooting them as Russian sitcoms.

And Russia, you just, it's all laughs all the time. They've got it. Funniest country in the world. Yeah, pound for pound. By land baths. By land. Yeah, yeah. I would guess it's probably the least funny by land bath.

A lot of land. So you're, original prankster. You grew up in the Middle East. You grew up in the Middle East. You love Cotton Eye Joe. I do love Cotton Eye Joe. I have very good memories of it. I bet. Yeah. It's a great song. But like, was it a big, it was everyone, was it everywhere? It was everywhere. People, so the way that you would get music in the Middle East is you would go to, like, so people had like, oh my God, this is gonna sound like I'm being racist,

but this is actually what it was like. Just put it in my voice. So there was bazaars essentially, where people just like copied, it was like, there were bootlegs, everything was a bootleg. Yeah, and it was just people would have like huge tables like with stacks and stacks of hot wax tapes have stacks and stacks of hot wax They'd have tape decks and you were just going buy one for so cheap And it would always be like party mix whatever year it was. So Party Mix 97, Party Mix 98.

Oh my God, I mean, this is all I listened to at the time. Yeah, now that's what I call music. Yeah, basically. Was the Arabic version of Party Mix 98. And now we have a different song. Now that was me doing the character. Yeah, that was me doing the character. Well, Abby's family lived in Asia for a while, like Vietnam and China, and they had, we would go visit and there were just like so many people selling bootleg DVDs.

Oh yeah. Did you buy one? Oh, I have tons. Yeah, but I remember the cases of them being very funny. We had the full, oh yeah. Did you buy one? Oh, I have tons. Yeah, but I remember the cases of them being very funny. Yeah, we had the full... Oh, yeah, and the case... Oh, I wish I could remember them. They would just pick the... Oh, God. I want to ask Abby.

But they would pick, like, where they would just design a cover for it, take a screenshot of the movie, put the title of the movie, and then put just some Put some reviews on the bottom blurb and some of them were terrible reviews I'm gonna ask Abby you guys talk amongst yourselves So there was it was all of the VHS tapes I had were also bootlegs, right? I remember, I was always so confused why we were doing this because we, like, my dad would drive outside of town to, like, a tire shop that was on the outskirts of town in

the desert. And they also sold, they did tires and sold bootleg VHSs. Gotta be in both. And that's where I bought the Muppets from space and Muppets from spaces they were from space or they in space maybe oh You know what you did I I do appreciate you calling me. Yeah, you know, I mean Gonzo might be from space. Well, that's the Okay, I was trying to find his I haven't seen any Muppet movie past the Christmas go The Muppets from space is really good. It's kind of sad. Yeah. Yeah, all the Muppet movies have a bittersweet No, it's Muppets from space. I apologize Muppets from yeah, cuz he would have been from space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah It was so funny

Jeffrey Tambor is in it. Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's that I love it I love the culture of celebrities that appear on Sesame Street or. So funny. Yeah. And just like the randomness of it. Like, yeah. Cause it was Jason Segal most recently, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But you, you have a new podcast, brand new podcast. I have a brand new podcast. What is it? Tell us about it. It is called. It's called Mall Brats. Mall Brats It is called. It's called Mall Brats.

Mall Brats. And there's two podcasts called Mall Brats. Ours is the one that has like the little cartoon character kids on the front of it. And it's another kind of like D and D style podcast, uh, where we play an RPG and it's sort of, uh, an RPG stands for Rolly Polly Goalie. Yeah. Rolly Polly Goalie. Rolly playing game. And it's basically we it's we chose like a system that's super rules light. It's like really stripped down

version. Graham, it's a rules light. Of D&D. That's my problem. It's like really easy to follow. It's mostly like, like, it's mostly just improv, like, and some dice rolling. And it's, the setting is really fun where it's, the, it's like if instead of directing, Gangs of New York, Martin Scorsese directed Disney's Recess. All right. So it's these orphans living in like a fantasy version of the West Edmonton mall. That's why they're the mall brats. That's why they're the mall brats.

That's why they're the mall brats. And they're like a little gang of criminals that like make candy and try and sell it on the black market and do crimes. And they like live in the mall. So it's always the same characters or? It's always the same characters. All D&D type shows are like kind of like one story. Oh really?

It's like it's basically it's like a TV show. It's like an episodic thing and you're just kind of using the game mechanics to like facilitate the improv. Right. And you correct me if I'm wrong. You go big on these things. You have a big vision for these things and you like the recording is always like you do it all at once we don't know no no it's like we recorded over several years oh i guess that's that is that's the opposite yeah so we we do like a season like do you do it in seasons and it's like we release them in seasons each episode is about an hour uh. But we record, like, it's like kind of like every, so spout lore. Our first show is in season 12. That's so funny.

Just dead-eyed love it. That's my kind of prank. I pretended I loved his work Spell or we started it in 2017. It's in season 12 now And it's like so there's like 200 or whatever episodes But it's same characters playing through like a single story So you can kind of think of it like dumb funny Game of Thrones and is it is it one person? That's like the storyteller of it. Yeah, that's... Sorry, go ahead. No, and then everybody like rolls and if you get a 10, that means...

You can do something. But does that up to the person telling the story or are there rules that a three is always a gem? Exactly, yeah. So it's like, as soon as you roll a three, you find a gem. You find a gem. Put it in your little pouch. So it's like the best way to describe it is it's like it is the like the it's like a series of comedy bits and it's loosely connected by dice rolls. Okay. The game master kind of like facilitates the whole thing where he knows all of the rules

and you're you have a character that you always play, it's always the same character, and you know kind of what your stats are and so like every time you want to do something, you tell the game master, I'm going to do this thing. He's like, all right, try to do it and you roll dice. And then if the dice roll is high enough, then you accomplish it. You achieve that. But it's like, and then the game master, who is the person who is facilitating everything.

Are you the game master? I'm not the game master. Oh, you're not the game master? Have you ever been a game master? I've never been a game master. Seems like you'd have to know a lot of stuff. Yeah, I know. Or does the game master write the story?

Or like the world? They can. So our GM improvises everything because he's very good in storytelling. His name is Sean. Oh, you're gonna say his name, okay. You, I, boy. They've had one locked and loaded.

No, no, I was like, you kept referring to him as a game master, but not saying his name, but I was wondering if it was secretive. Yeah, or that, you know, he'd be canceled and you're just trying to tell. Yeah, or a game master is Louie. We do it all in his hotel room. But it's, yeah, it's like...

His name's Sean. His name is Sean. His name's Sean. His name is Sean. He's so good at storytelling and playing characters and doing voices. Oh, yeah, mate. It's me. That's pretty good. Game master. Keep a transporter what are you doing transporter where you are

I'm also a transporter. I roll a six and decide who's the transporter. No, no. No. Noi. Noi. This is I would honestly, if you guys did that as an RPG show, Statham versus Statham, two transporters trying to transport everything. Yeah, kind of out transport each other. Oi, it's me, Chev Chelyos. Yeah, it's from Crank. The beekeeper from the beekeeper. Oi, it's me from the early Gus. What's his name? He's either Hobbs or Sean, the guy Richie movies.

You think maybe I'm a legitimate actor in this boy. I love Jason's. Yeah, the best good physique, good physique,ows exactly what type of movies people like from him. That beekeeper. So funny. But literally, that seems to be the packaging of every other action film. He's been trained in the Middle East somewhere. He's a Navy SEAL.

He's giving it up. He's doing it quiet. You can tell he's trained in the Middle East because you can hear Cotton Eye Joe in the background. He's got dance mix 97. I like the movies where he has hair. Yeah, very off-putting Which ones are the handful? Yeah, there's a couple where he wears a wig It's kind of like I remember Hulk Hogan did a movie where he's wearing a wig. He's got bangs Feathery bangs.

He's got a bob. He's still wearing the handkerchief on his head, but you can see bangs poking out from underneath. And he goes through a breakup and cuts his bangs. That's what you gotta do. His new relationship knew you. So is the game that you've been playing for ten seasons the same game? Yeah Oh, so it's not just a season long and then you start no Yeah, it's the it's the same thing all the way through like it starts with us running protection for a food vendor at a hotdog

festival, okay Classic Game of Thrones. Let me guess what they sell this food vendor hot dogs. It's actually yeah, kebab meat. Okay. All right. And then over the course of the show, like the stakes get bigger and bigger and bigger. But it's like a comedy all the way through. It's like a fantasy comedy kind of thing. The stakes get bigger. I thought these are hot dogs, not steaks.

Yeah, that would be a good way of describing something like, it's the steak of hot dogs. Like I used to say, it's like the Cadillac of soap. Yeah, so bloody in the middle. The champagne of hot dogs. And how many people are on this? Three? There's the Game Master and three players. So there's three characters and then the Game Master plays basically everyone else in the world.

It's me! Oh, it was this guy! It's me! Jason Stavem! Little Stavem! Tony Blair! It's Tony Blair, everybody! I'm actually American, see?

I'm from New Jersey! He got knocked on the head and now he's got a different accent. How do you say Capricorn? I'm from New Jersey! I'm from New Jersey! I'm from New Jersey! I'm from New Jersey! I'm from New Jersey! I'm from New Jersey! I'm from New Jersey! I'm from New Jersey! I'm from American, see? I'm from New Choisey. He got knocked on the head and now he's got a different accent.

How do you say capicola? Capicola. Hey everybody, it's the tiniest mayor. The mayor of Long Island. We got the mayor of Long Island here. The mayor of East town. Well, it's called, uh, The Kids from the Mall, and we love it here. It's called Mall Brats.

Mall Brats. Mall Brats. That's the new show. Is it already out? People can get it? It's already out. There's like eight episodes out now. It comes out every two weeks, and it's about these like little orphans doing crimes

in the fantasy version of the West Edmonton Mall. Love it. It's very hectic. You ever been to West Edmonton Mall? First time was when I was in Edmonton with you. And you went? I went. And?

I loved it. Yeah? It's the greatest place I've ever been. It is pretty great. When I was a kid, I thought it was like unbelievable. Cause they had like two, the gaps, I think. Oh, sure. I think they had more like.

That was the thing that you thought was unbelievable. Well, cause it's the way it used to be. There was a pirate ship as well. Yeah, it's got a water park and an amusement park. But it used to be the world's biggest mall. And you think, oh, that must be great. But they just ran out of stores. So they have two gaps,

probably two body shops. Yeah, I remember. I'm going to the good hot topic. Yeah. I'll see you guys later. How long did, like, did you walk from end to end? And how long of a walk is that, 20 minutes? 20 minutes?

I didn't walk. It's the biggest mall in the world. There it was. I feel like it's like an hour. Yeah. Oh, like an hour. Oh, like an hour? Oh, okay. Yeah, like the...

I feel like I breezed through a mall in under ten. No way. I went to Metro Town yesterday and it was an hour. It's a big mall though. West Edmonton Mall is the biggest! They have two pretzel places in Metro Town. For my money, the upstairs is the better one, but the downstairs has like a lot more variety. What's the upstairs one?

Is that the one by Uniqlo? Yeah, somewhere where you could put mustard on it and ruin some clothing. What's the variety that you're getting at the downstairs one? Sweet, sweet, savory. I feel like one is more savory based. Sweet, savory, Chinese, Mexican, Dorito flavored.

I'm just gonna look up what they got. Okay, I gotta accept the cookies here. Well, that's you get cookies by George. You accept some cookies. Oh yeah, there's little monk pretzels. And then Mr. Pretzels. And Mr. Pretzels. And Mr. Pretzel has less variety.

I think, now I'm talking about school. I don't know which one's which. I just know one's upstairs and one's downstairs. And I had one for me. Little Monk is right next to the Uniqlo. You're gonna want to go to both. You're gonna want to go to both. Go to Uniqlo first.

Don't get grease and mustard all over your hands. These socks I'm wearing? Uniqlo. Oh yeah. Those are nice. I'm a Uniqlo sock buyer. Yeah. If Uniqlo, bring back those Roger Federer socks that you had with the little unicorn logo on the side

I had so many of them. I bought them like Six seven years ago. I still have pairs of them But I'm running out and now people are selling them on eBay for like a hundred dollars. You gotta sell yours Well, mine are worn. Oh, they're all worn. Yeah, you don't you can sell them for a thousand dollars Oh, yeah're all worn. Yeah. You can sell them for a thousand dollars. Oh yeah. Behind the paywall of freaks. It sucks when you see something on eBay or at a store that you had and somewhere over the years, gave it away, lost it, it got threadbare.

Oh, I have a really old Weezer t-shirt. Oh yeah. Of them all in Elvis, like Elvis impersonator jumpsuits. Yeah. And it's from like 1996 maybe. Oh, like vintage vintage. And I've rarely wore it and it,

cause I was like, oh, this is nice, but I feel weird wearing it. But it was always a little big for me. And I've checked in. It's like I've seen it for $400. Really? But I don't want to like I don't want to go through having to sell it. Is there like a service I can use?

Yeah, you know, you don't have to meet anybody in a parking lot. Sure, sure, sure. I know I've talked about it on the podcast before, but I went to a market that was just vintage t-shirts. One of them that they had was for $300, and it was one that I had as a kid with Wayne and Garth on it. And I was like, oh, man, I wonder if that, I don't know where it is or where it ended up, but I really wanted to see if I could find that, you know, cash in a little bit.

But maybe that was the one that was for sale. Maybe I threw it away into the thrift store and somebody bought it and that was 30 bucks. Up into the wind in Calgary and then it landed in there. Yeah, like the feather from Forrest Gump. Now Abdul, he knocked on the door, he showed up, he had an edible arrangement in his hands, we laughed.

We laughed. And then he came in and he said, oh one more thing, and he grabbed his bag and he said, I have drinks for you. So I have- This is a big like, kind of Trader Joe's duffel bag. It's like an insulated bag. It's a cooler bag. It's a cooler bag.

They're cool drinks. Okay. It's really cool. It's heavy. It is heavy. Okay. Sam looks so disappointed immediately. I have unzipped the bag and it's prime. What? It's prime. Now prime is an energy. This is a Jake Paul Logan Paul. It's a Jake Paul Logan Paul KSA joint. Who's KSA? I think he's the British Logan Paul

Oh cool! I didn't know Britain needed his own but I don't think America needs one I strongly disagree These are like like a Gatorade-esque. I think yeah, they're kind of like a vitamin water. Yeah, they're like sugar-free I think yeah, they're kind of like a vitamin water. Yeah, they're like sugar-free. Someone told me that they have a lot of PFAS in them, so just know that. So there's, and you bought four varieties times three. You brought 12 bottles of this.

So we could each drink one entire bottle of one of the flavors. Okay. I would have had four. There's strawberry watermelon, something called ice pop. Ice pop looks good because it's the colors of it's the red, white and blue. Looks like a rocket pop. Yeah.

Blue raspberry and lemonade. And it says at the bottom, I'm sure this is like an FDA thing that they've got around hydration drink. It's technically doesn't meet the standard as water. Yeah, as a drink. So it's gotta be hydration. Okay. Well meet the standard as water. Yeah Okay, well ingredients filtered water 20 calories coconut water from concentrate citric acid. This is all stuff I

My body needs anyway dipotassium phosphate love it eight or Phosphate It's a fist fight. Not intended for children, says that, for adults only. Well, that's because Logan and Jake Paul have so many adults. Yeah, it says here very clearly, do not exceed one serving per day.

And what is one serving? A container, okay. If you're pregnant or breastfeeding, contact a health care practitioner prior to use. Really? Yeah, that's the very bottom one there. That's crazy.

Man. Do not consume this product with other supplemented foods. Yeah, if you're pregnant or breastfeeding. So if you're out there and you're thinking about having a kid and You know prime get your prime in before you get pregnant. Yeah, I have to say well, I'm gonna pop the ice pop Okay, you're gonna go ice pop. I'm gonna go you're going lemonade. I'll go lemonade. I'll go Blue rasp it does taste like what those ice pops My kids will be so jealous, but they're not allowed to have fun. They're under 14. You cannot have, whoa. No, you know what? Put it in a box somewhere

and then when they turn 18. Yeah, it's also non caffeinated and gluten-free. Oh, wow. That tastes like a freezy. The blue raspberry tastes like a blue freezy. It's got, oh, it has that weird thing that happens when you, something's liquid, but then you agitate it and it becomes frozen Yeah, it's still freezing there. That's why kids can't drink it The fact that they legally shouldn't allow them to say this is naturally flavored because it doesn't taste like anything from no and it's um It has that sort of like fake Sweetness to it. Yeah, where it's not sugar. Stays in your mouth. Yeah.

Got B vitamins, it's got antioxidants. Got B vitamins? Have I made that joke before? Probably. What do you think the website is that you could go to? Probably thedebaters.ca. This is a prank. You prank our ass.

You prank us with Prime. It's drinkprime.com. Drinkprime.com. Yep. Well, thanks. That's great. Yeah, so we gotta get through all of them before I leave. Well, the doctor, the model says not to. And my doctor disagrees.

The doctor says if anything, you should be drinking two Primes a day. Prime was developed, and so I, they sell this stuff everywhere. Like, it's, it's, yeah, I feel like it's everywhere like it's it's yeah I feel like it's gamer fuel but it's not to be a gamer you got to feel like one they sell it where I get my hockey skates sharpened sounds like where I used to pick up boo legs it's a weird it's like places that aren't food stores sell this this is 10% coconut water it's only 10 and it was developed to fill the void It's like places that aren't food stores sell this. This is 10% coconut water.

It's only 10. And it was developed to fill the void where great taste meets function. Mm, caffeine free? Well, what's going on with me? Yes, Dave, what's going on with you, drink wise and otherwise? Well, a couple things.

I told you I bought that modicium glutamate. Yeah, that MSG. It's a powder. Is it? Yeah, yeah. It's a white, crystal-y powder. And it sounds like my high school. I did a lot of coke. And you know what it is? It's like, it gives that umami flavor. Yeah, it's a flavor enhancer. And it got a bad rep, even though it's not bad for you. Yeah, there was a thing called MSG syndrome or Chinese restaurant syndrome. Because it's in a lot of Chinese food and people would like report headaches and sluggishness

afterwards. I got the opposite. Every time we went for Chinese, I lost my mind. Like always on the car ride home, I was insane. Yeah. Like to the point, I think that my parents are like, well, we just can't go back. You're losing your mind all over the windows. I got to find Paul Bettany. And it it had like, and it got to the point where Chinese restaurants would say no MSG on their

sign. Yeah. But now because the big thing that happened lately is there's this TikTok guy, I see him on Instagram and he's a guy. He's not the Rizzler, is he? No, the Rizzler. Oh, we love the Rizzler. Big's a guy not the Rizler is he no the Rizler oh we love the Rizler big justice and AJ and the Rizler yeah yeah no family that eat cookies and then review them on Instagram you don't know the Rizler

family I've never I hadn't before last week and that's all I think about yeah and they have a song called here comes the boom well we bring the boom we bring the movie and it's the background music in every one of their posts. And they review cookies. They mostly review the double chunk chocolate cookie from Costco. It's one cookie. Yeah. They compare things to the double chunk chocolate chip cookie from Costco, which gets five big

ba-ba-ba-ba-booms. But this is not who we're talking about no we're not talking about mr. pretzel we're talking about a one guy who there's this white bleach blonde guy on the internet who makes cucumber salads okay now what he does is he takes a big like jug a big plastic the kind that like it like a big yogurt container style thing yeah but the kind that like, in like a big yogurt container style thing. But the kind that they have in like restaurant kitchens that people drink out of. Okay.

Or, you know, store things in. Oh yeah. And he uses a mandolin to- Little music- While you're losing my religion. That's what I was gonna say! I was like, what's the number one mandolin slow? Mandolin Rain by Bruce Hornsby in the Rain.

Okay. And he slices them super thin and then he adds soy sauce and fish sauce and onions and garlic and- Sounds pretty good. And MSG and he shakes it up and like he makes a new different cucumber salad in every post and people like the fact that he's using MSG became this big thing and like how it's like racist because

Like what well like we accept a white guy using MSG, but when Chinese restaurants were using it It was it was the whole syndrome based around I'm not sure where to stand on somebody that dresses up like a Chinese person is a white person John Wayne God it happened so much. Yeah, yeah, there was a, oh man, Peter Sellers did one, didn't he? Yeah, local standup did one.

Not that I remember. You answered that like it was- Not in my biography. Anyway, so we, yeah, so this, I've been, I was kind of like looking for MSG for a while and then I went to a Chinese grocery store and got some. Yeah. It's good. It's fine.

It's delicious. I haven't experimented with it in other recipes yet though. So you've made this cucumber thing? I made one of his cucumber salads and it was pretty good. I slurped them up. Oh yeah, that's his other thing is he slurps super loud and it's gross. But the other thing that's going on with me, well, first of all, that was first of all, second of all, so this is my it's where we're the summer's over guys. What? No What no fucking way I just put out my slip and slide like two weeks ago. I know and we keep getting colds when we use it

Yeah, and there's leaves all over it So this was molding us so I'm I do a little bit of gardening sure But mostly I garden flowers pretty plants. Did you do wear a big floppy? I do a big floppy hat big gloves Yeah, make love to strawberries. Uh-huh. This was the first year that I Grew tried to grow food. Mm-hmm. So I had I don't need to because people keep delivering melon But so this year I grew I tried to grow or I planted I don't know There's holes in your story

I had no expectations for anything. I planted kale. Yeah, and that grew pretty good, but I didn't like it Yeah, Kales Hardy it can grow in a lot of situations and grow. I think I grew the wrong species of kale This is not- You grew ass kale. It just tastes like shit. Yeah, I grew ass kale. Is that what you said?

Yeah. Okay. And I grew, it was just kind of like, I like dinosaur kale, it's my favorite kale. Oh, the big rubbery, Godzilla type. Yeah, so I'm gonna try to grow some of that next year. Yeah. And I grew, I planted asparagus, stuff grew,

but it wasn't asparagus. I don't even know what an asparagus plant would look like. It's, I don't know. Isn't it just the- Isn't it just one little guy? Well, that's the thing, those do come out of the ground, but then they flower out and sprout out. Oh.

Apparently it takes years for you, until you can eat it. So- Hmm, so that's next time you're having asparagus. Think about what a rare- Yeah. You're having. I planted a raspberry bush and it grew very big,

but didn't have any raspberries. I planted- What are you doing wrong? What's the essential component that you have? I don't care. I planted. What are you doing wrong? What's the essential component? I don't care. I just like I planted tomatoes. Your wife Sally was like, oh Dave, you remember the water these from the bottom. And I was like, we'll see.

It's sort of like survival of the fittest. Yeah. And Kale's the fittest so far. But I grew peas and they did pretty well for a while. Okay. And then snap peas a while. Okay, and then that piece. Yeah, okay, and then I grew Cucumbers oh, yeah, and they know guy online exactly to say about them and they were Like the bush got very big and they were just little tiny like gherkins growing

and then One there was one very big cucumber that grew. What you're growing cucumbers you're growing ass kale. And I grew and so and one grew and then I pulled the leaves back a couple weeks ago and there were like 10 huge cucumbers. Oh shit. So I was like, okay, gotta get this MSG.

Gotta start eating cucumber every day. You're both welcome to take a cucumber home if you want. I'm gonna be carrying half of a edible basket home. Oh, no you're not. No, what? You're taking the prime. Yeah. It's like all the prime with it. Anyway so I made so yeah we got so much cucumber. How was it received? Oh the cucumber. By me? By your family? They don't care. Okay alright.

Poppy eats cucumber but this cucumber I grew is flavorless. You know what I gotta do next year? Water it with prime. Yeah, exactly. And so yeah, so this is the end of the growing season. I'm gonna harvest my big cucumbers. And that's it. And that's it. And then everything dies for the winter. I don't know if I'm supposed to do anything about that. I know you're supposed to like lay down saw like wood chips chips and stuff and put it to sleep. Oh, yeah. Perhaps some burly. I don't know who.

Jake the Snake would put you to sleep and then he would put a snake. Put a snake all over you. Yeah. Bruce the Barber Beefcake would cut your hair. Yeah. Everybody had to have a fun thing. After they knocked you out. After they killed you? Yeah. After you're dead.

They would cut your hair, you know, sit on your face. There was a guy that did that. Yokozuna would sit on you when you were down in the ring. But Yokozuna wouldn't put you to sleep with a... Or he'd wait until you were asleep in the ring that you've had a long day and then he comes over and sits on your chest. Probably your home. Brutus and Beefcake did the sleeper hold.

No, the chop guy did a slit in the guy's throat, Sweeney Todd style. And then he'd be like, now the ultimate disrespect, I'm going to cut his hair. He was the only one who Vince McMahon allowed to do actual murders. Yeah, and it was the only one who Vince McMahon allowed to do actual murders. Yeah. Yeah. And it was the contract they signed. I also, last week, I went to go see a movie. So I had a few things on my movie list of things I wanted to see.

One was the substance. Oh, yeah. And then I decided I don't want to see it too scary. Yeah. Is that Demi Moore? Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley Yeah, it seems gross and scared. I like it. Um, the other one was Joker fully at the oh, yes And I was like, huh? This if people heard me talking about it last week on the show. It's Gaga. It's a musical apparently

It's not really a musical apparently it's enough a musical to put people off but apparently people who like Joker hate it people who didn't like Joker hate it it's an impossible movie to like yeah I think like I was saying last week the fear with the original Joker is that a single shooter would open fire and now it's, who are they afraid would show up at this dance movement people or? Musical theater. People doing some kind of flash mob.

So what I ended up seeing was this movie called Speak No Evil. Yes. Do you know this? No, I haven't heard of it. James McAvoy. It's this sequel to See No Evil, Hear No Evil. With Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder.

We went a different direction with this one. I saw it in the theater. It had nudity. Whoa. I think Kevin Spacey's in it too. They starred in quite a few films together together and I loved them as a kid Yeah, they were the other streak another you Stir crazy. Yeah

Anyway, so this is not that oh shit. Oh, this is about a Family goes on a trip to Italy and they meet this other family Oh, right and the other family's James McAvoy, and they say, hey, when you're back in England, come visit us. And so, you know, have a week at our country house. And so they do that and he's a scary guy. Scary guy. And it's very much in the,

he's, but he's polite, like nothing, things just don't add up about him. Yeah. But he's like a great host and he's polite. Things just don't add up about him. But he's a great host and he's so friendly. It makes you think, oh, am I an asshole for wanting to leave? He's being the nicest guy. The whole movie, I've only seen the original, but the whole thing pivots on how

politeness and letting somebody get away with things can mount and kind of, but just being afraid to be like, I got to get out of here. I don't like what's going on here and walking out there. Everybody's too polite. Yeah. I remember seeing the trailer and he's weird with the other guys family. Yeah. But also in a way, part of it is like, oh, he's doing this because he cares. He's like, oh, I'm not used to meeting someone

who cares so much. Yeah. And when we, when I made the podcast, let's make a horror. Oh, scary. We talked to these, a bunch of experts. And one of the expert advice was like, make a movie that ruins something.

Like psycho ruins showers, jaws ruined swimming that ruins something. Like, Psycho ruined showers, Jaws ruined swimming at the beach. And this ru- What is the lamp? Fava beans, I guess. There's lambs. There's lambs and fama beans. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. And this movie ruins,

like, going to someone's country house. Like, I'm watching it and I'm like, oh man, that would, like, I can empathize with the characters. I'm like, oh, that would suck. I would do the same thing, but I would never get in this position. I would never make a friend with someone on vacation. No. Yeah. I would, if they ever wrote me a postcard later, I would never make a friend with someone on vacation. No. Yeah. I would

if they ever wrote me a postcard later, I would ignore it. Yeah. Um, yeah, the uh, uh, when I saw the trailer, I was like, well, this gives everything away. If you watch the trailer and you watch the movie, I mean, it gives it away, but it's all like, it's kind of a cat and mouse. Like, you know, why aren't they leaving? When will they leave? And I read about the synopsis, the ending is a very Americanized ending because the original is so bleak. It is so bleak, the ending of that is like shocking.

And the director was like, I don't know why they changed it. I was like, I know why. That was the ending in America nobody would have gone oh wow anyway check it out I liked it yeah it wasn't a horror movie it's a you know tense yeah thriller kind of creepy and he's good that James McAvoy he's gonna playing a bad guy he's too buff he got very buff in this. I love him He's a buff for that like that Glass mr. Glass was he buffing in that one? Yeah, he was like crazy credit. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like Russell Crowe. He's so buff. Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta get got a bod, you know, it's a

It's a great thing to see, we're very happy for him. Yeah. The workouts he's been doing are really paying off, good diet, he just looks good, you know? Who placed the wife in it? Of the nice wife or the? Nice wife. Mackenzie Davis, is that her name?

I don't know who that is, but. She's from Halt and Catch Fire. Ah! I think she's Canadian. Shit, well, I should know who that is, but. She's from Halt and Catch Fire. Ah. I think she's Canadian. Shit, well, I should know who she is. Oh yeah. And the other, and her husband is. Very fair, she's very fair.

Very fair. And the husband is Scoot McNary. Oh yeah, okay, nice. Well, I'll probably see it when it comes out on streaming. Yeah, oh no, you gotta. Oh yeah, yeah. What's going on with you? Well, speaking of like tense, upsetting movies and whatnot.

That's all you do, man. I watched Baby Reindeer. Oh. You ever, either of you ever see it? No it's a TV mini series. It's a mini series. On Netflix? On Netflix.

It's British and it's about a man who's being stalked by a woman and it's a true story. And it's insane. The story's insane. And it's good. Just want a bunch of ammies. Yeah, it's really, really good. The woman who plays the stalker is insane. And it's good. Just want a bunch of ammies. Yeah. It's really, really good. The woman who plays the stalker is like...

Is it too scary for me? It's not so much scary as it is like... Is it too many episodes for me? I actually wanted more episodes by the end. It was only like six, six episodes, seven episodes. And it was... It's great. It was a one-man show that was turned into this series. The guy is, it's great. It was a one man show that was turned into this,

this series. The guy is so good in it. The woman is so good in it. But oh man, it's a lot of emotional work in this, this, this world he's created. And especially that, you know, that it came from original. Right. How do you feel about stocking emotions? Like, do you just want to be scared? Yeah, what's something visceral? You know, like having to put in the work? No, I want to I want to be scared. I want to be happy. I want to be sad. You don't want to explore yourself.

No. Well, get a hand mirror. I like that that was the only choice they were after a head mirror. You could put a mirror from the hallway down on the floor and see what that... Oh sure, well nowadays you give the kids an iPad. Don't you go exploring with this iPad. Put it on airplane mode. But yeah, they like, to the point, he got something like 4,000 messages from her that he logged and was part of. In real life.

In real life, yeah. God. And then apparently, the woman that was the inspiration for this, like has come forward with a lawsuit saying like he exaggerated. I'm like, you want to call more attention to yourself Was she did he mention her real name or anything? Telling on her yeah, she's telling on herself. This is about me And it's really not fair

Can you imagine watching halfway through an episode you like fuck this is about me Did that halfway through an episode you're like, fuck this is about me! Oh no! God damn it! I did that! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! This guy I'm obsessed with apparently made a show. Maybe I'll watch it. Maybe I'll wait. Maybe I'll wait. I didn't realize I had that big impact on his life. There's a... I don't know if this is true, but I read that when Seinfeld came out, Costanza

was the name of somebody Jerry knew from college, and he sued the show and was unsuccessful. But the guy who played, or the Kramer was based on, was successful. He sued the show? Yeah. Oh, I thought he was friends with him. They were, but then when they found out like, that he was just basically, they stole him as a character. He was like, that's not,

and they had a different name for it. He was Kessler, but no, it just wasn't. It's just doesn't. Kenny Kramer. Yeah, I remember his, the name. In the Bizarro Seinfeld, do you remember all their names? Oh, that Gene is one of them gene was George Was the mailman? Oh

Milton or something like that. I don't know the mailman, but I think Jerry was Kevin Kevin Yeah, and Kramer was Feldman Feldman. Yeah, and then like Have you ever seen this episode? No, is it like I remember the first season of Seinfeld was completely different and Elaine wasn't in it. That's right. Yeah. This was an episode where- The first episode had no Elaine or the first season?

No. Oh, quite a few episodes and then- Really? Kramer had a dog. It was so different. What? Yeah. It was, yeah. Kramer wasn't wacky at all. He was just this weird- He was so sad.

Yeah, he's sad. And he invited Jerry to his country home. And oh, I don't want to tell you what goes from there. It was a show about something at that point. Well, now I have to open the list of episodes. As soon as you get to that grid on Wikipedia, you know you've gone too far in whatever it is you're doing. Okay, Elaine is definitely in episode two.

Okay. Okay. There was Claire the waitress in the first episode. Oh, right. She was going to be the female character, she's going to be a sassy waitress. Right. At the diner. Which, they still had a pretty sassy waitress at the diner.

She gave George the finger. Whoa. Yeah. I do like in the show that the diner they go to all the time, they keep discovering new menu items. Is that one point George has clams casino. There's a couple of characters who are actors who came back as multiple characters. There were.

There was the waitress who is the one George asks out. Oh yeah. And then tries to get fired, I think. In the earlier episode, she's like the bad actress that Jerry's dating. Oh yeah, yeah. Anyways, quite a show.

Yeah, we loved it. Baby Reindeer, sideels, basically the same. Both taken from true stories, you know? Yeah. And, you know, Jerry was stalked all those years by Rochelle Rochelle. And anyways, there's no good way to stalk. Just don't do it. Yeah.

If you think about stalking somebody. Don't do it. Yeah, don't do it. If you think about stalking somebody. Don't do it. Yeah, don't do it. You know what? Channel that energy into something else. Drink some Prime, sit down, write your screenplay. Drink some Prime, eat an edible arrangement for breakfast every day.

Every day. You know what? Yeah, channel it into your mini series about a woman who stalks a guy. Yeah, yeah. From your side of things. Whereas all like, you understand their motivation about a woman who stalks a guy from your side of things. Whereas all like you understand their motivation is like,

well, wouldn't you stalk this guy? When he says that he got 4,000 messages from her, are any of them just like, you know, a thumbs up to, or like a smiley face, like that's a whole message? I think a whole message would be like, they show some of them in the show and some of them in the show and some of them are very short and they're always misspelled.

That's the thing. Like she misspells the same words over and over again. Oh, weird. Because they think it autocorrects and she just like keeps sending them out and sending them out. And, uh. Graeme, I was like, I was about to ask you about your fucked up bruised hand. You got chocolate all over your face.

Oh my god. Oh no. I'm covered in chocolate. What a delicious twist. That's stage two of the prank. Stage two, achieve. So like listeners don't like hearing you eat on mic. What about licking my hand?

They like licking your forearm. And then also just sucking the melted chocolate off of the fabric of your sweater. Well, that's gonna come during the break. That makes two of us. Speaking of which, wanna do some overhertz? No, let's do a bit of business. Oh, let's do a bit of business. Well, it's time for a Jumbotron.

This is where you can send a message to a loved one. You can receive a message from a loved one. Yeah. Those are the two sides of it usually. I mean, the loved one is debatable. Like, so you could send a message to someone you're indifferent about. Yeah, hey.

You can send 4,000 messages to a baby reindeer. Too fresh. Yeah. Oh yeah, at what point would we put our foot down? Yeah, I don't know. Well, I still haven't heard back from you, but here's another message. I know you like this podcast.

And today's message is for Dean A from Troy and Stefan and it reads as such. We want to wish Dean, Dean Arun, Dino Machino, Dino two times, a happy birthday. The three of us have been friends since middle school. We came up with three nicknames for him. That's fun. Since then, it's been decades of inside jokes, laughter, and thousands of music debates. Who's better, Bach or Beethoven? Get at me in the chat.

The occasional argument and a shared love for Spy. So from Stefan, Troy, Graham, and Dave, keep on keepin' on, buddy. You rock, Dean. You rock, Dean. You rock, Dean. How old are you, Dean? Yeah, Dean, how old are you? Call me.

My phone number is 17. Yeah, Abdul, give him your number. 250-588-8798. Get at me. Send a nice message to Abdul. Text a nice message saying, hey. Hey, good job on the show. Thanks for bringing that delicious thing and Graham Rousness's sweater.

Send me 4,000 messages and I'll make a mini-series. Back to the overhearts. You got it. This season on the Adventure Zone, Abnibles. Get ready for a brand new crime fighting trio here to protect the anthropomorphic muscular animal citizens of River City. Featuring Justin McElroy as Axelile, the firefighting Axelato. Clint McElroy as Roger Mooer, the debonair cow of mystery.

Griffin McElroy as Navy Seal, the raw seal that has never served in the armed forces. And Travis McElroy as every other swell critter in River City. This swear-free, Saturday morning cartoon-inspired story airs every Thursday on MaximumFun.org, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Emily Fleming. And I'm Jordan Morris. We're real comedy writers.

And real friends. And real cheapskates. We say why subscribe to expensive streaming services when you can stream tons of insane movies online for free. Yeah, as long as you're fine with 25 randomly inserted super loud car insurance commercials. On our podcast, Free With Ads, we review streaming movies from the darkest corner of the internet's bargain bin. From the good to the weird to the holy,

look at Van Damme's big ol' butt. Free With Ads, a free podcast about free movies that's worth the price of admission. Every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org or your favorite pod spot. Free With Ads. Overheard! Where if you hear it, we want to hear it too. It's only fair.

And we like to start with the guest. Abdul, do you have an overheard? I have a couple. We can try them and if they're not good, then you can snip out the one that's bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me more work. So I have an overheard in the category of things, or kids say the darnedest thing. They do.

About my son, Kahlil. Okay. Because he came home one day and he was like, what does it mean when someone has a crush on you? Because someone had told him that this girl in his school had a crush on him. Okay. So we were just like,

oh, it just means someone likes you a lot. And then the next day when I dropped him off, I saw her, like they were standing in line waiting to go inside and I saw her skip two places in line to like stand next to him. Aw. Which is very cute. Very cute.

And then they were talking and then she was like, oh, look what I can do. And then she did this dance move that was her like jackknifing her legs straight up in the air. OK. Yeah, that's cool. Classic boy move. He was like, I can do that too.

Like, zero empathy. And then he proceeded to pick up his leg and lick the bottom of his shoe. Just fully watched him kill that crush because she moved two spaces back. Now that my crush has licked his own foot. And then I saw immediately all the boys around him started trying to lick the bottom of their shoes. I got a whole bunch of new crushes. How did this trend start? Well, it was love. Love was the seed that bloomed. I remember having to line up to go in school. As soon as you said

that, I was like, oh yeah, we had to line up. Line up the opposite of a fun lineup, like line up for a movie or a club. Line up for something that was bad on the other end. Oh my God, I'm gonna get in so much trouble today, I don't even know why. Yeah. It's a new thing every day. Something's gonna happen, I'm gonna get in trouble.

I don't remember, well, I lined up inside in elementary school, like lining up outside the classroom, but my kids line up outside. But I don't know if that's just a post COVID thing. Anyway, Dave, do you have an over? Yeah, not really. Mine's an overseen. I was driving yesterday and I went past this business that just had the weirdest wording on the sign.

And it says, European body wrap, spray and lose 15 minutes, lose two to four inches. Like this is a good place to lose 15 minutes. There's 15 minutes. There's 15 minutes I'm never gonna get back. Yeah, also that spray. Yeah, after I get wrapped and sprayed by a European. So yeah, I'm tempted. I got the time.

Yeah, and you like a spray? And I, you know, why I can't afford to lose two to four inches though. Maybe bring in one of those cucumbers and see how it goes. My overheard comes courtesy of two gals talking on a bench and one was talking just on her phone. The other friend was just sitting there, not really a main character in this overheard, but she was saying it to the phone and her

friend that she said, he thinks he's the coolest piece of shit in the world. Just as hailing the coolest shit in the world. Yeah. The coolest turd. Hahahaha Hahahaha Hahahaha Um, yeah, well, you know what? He probably is. If you're chatting about him in your off hours, he's probably the king shit, you know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, yeah.

Ah, fuck. I wish people were talking about me right now. Yeah, they probably are. Oh, man. Talk about me. Hey, Dave, they probably are. Oh, man. Talk about me. Hey, Dave, he's the coolest. He started drinking Prime, so he's healthier than ever, he's got a lot of energy.

He's drinking so many every day, no matter what the label says. No matter what my pregnancy test says. My favorite weird warning is on Febreeze, and it said, as with many products, do not spray around birds. As with many products? What else? It's not just us that are killing birds.

Yeah, exactly. Don't put it all on us. There's other things that kill birds. Speaking of Hitchcock movies, if only she had had some Febreze in the birds. Now we also have over-heard sent in to us by people all over the map. You want to send one in? Send it to sbwyatmaximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Keegan from Halifax. I finished my prime. How do you feel?

Younger? You look a little bit, yeah, you got a glow to you now. I feel like I want to fight Mike Tyson. I want to visit a controversial Japanese forest. Yeah, I guess that's two things he can say he did in his lifetime. I don't know if it's the same brother. Ah, who cares? Interchangeable.

Yeah. Yeah. This is two women. When's that Mike Tyson thing happening? Oh, anytime now. I thought it was supposed to have happened by now. Did I miss it? No, he got sick, and so was supposed to have happened by now. Did I miss it? No, he got sick.

And so he had to not do the match. Because he got liver or some kind of infection. So that was Mike Tyson. He shouldn't be doing this. And everybody who knows him in the inner circle is saying, don't do this. Really? Yeah, because he's like in his 60s.

I know, but I still think he could kill the Pauls. I mean, I feel like he could kill I don't think so the Paul's I mean I feel like that's why I buy prime because I was I was on a walk with Aaron Reed one time and he was like Why are you buying private supporting this terrible group of people? I was like because every dollar that goes to prime goes to a cage match between Mike Tyson and one of the ball, bro I like that you think it's a cage match So two women at this airport in Winnipeg, two women are sitting next to me. Woman one, my tongue hurts. Woman two, your tongue hurts. One one sticks

tongue out as far as she can in hopes of being able to see it. Women two, from what? One one, probably not enough sleep. Tongue pain? I'm looking it up on WebMD. Yeah, yeah, you're not getting enough sleep. Yeah, do you ever have that where you eat something really spicy and then you realize that your tongue is more sensitive than you thought? This happens to me very often where I eat something that's medium spicy and the rest of my mouth is fine, but the tongue's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey. Do you ever fall asleep with your mouth open and wake up and your mouth is so dry

and then when you replenish the liquid in it, it feels so good. Yeah, that's why I keep a prime next to my bed. I wake up. I mostly have my mouth closed, I think, but occasionally, like if you're sleeping in a weird position, doggy style. That's the weirdest position.

Sleeping doggy style. It's where you're circling. It's a weird position to sleep, sir. You circle the bed three times. And then you dream you're running. Yeah. Look at him. Your face is twitching

This this next one comes from Matt in Brooklyn I was at a grungy bar in a hip neighborhood in Brooklyn and an older scruffy hipster Maybe late 40s is on a date only overheard snippets But the two best ones were Daniel Plainview is a toned-down version of my grandpa yikes. Okay And I'm sorry my two million dollar trust fund isn't impressive to you You know who's on a date with should I at Wayne? Oh sure. She don't get pressed by you got two million dollars Yeah, they don't impress me. Yeah very much You know what it impresses me that this guy in Brooklyn has two million dollars fucking rad, man

That's good for you. Yeah Take the time to enjoy it. You know, you've got two million dollars You could do all sorts of cool stuff with two million. Was it a first date? I don't know Horrendous yeah. Oh I watched the first date. I was on a patio and the table next to us was a first date. Whoo, that guy was not letting her say a GD thing. He was really monologuing it.

I was like, why this has to be a first date. I mean, when I'm on a first date with a woman, I always let her say something after I say, so what do you bring to the table? Then you lean back and put your glasses on. I got a $2 million trust fund, my grandfather's Daniel Plainview. What are you gonna do about it? Mike Tyson and Jake Paul's fight is set for November 15th.

Oh, four days after Remembrance Day. That's all I remember. Remember is A plus four. Okay Remember remember the 15th of November. Yes, exactly. Yes. There you go. I got it. It'll be the American guy Fox day. Uh-huh American guy I thought you got Richie Faye I thought you were getting American dad and family guy mixed up when he said American guy. This last one comes from Tana R. This is a visual. At my local Safeway looking for ginger beer, I saw a guy grab a bottle of wine off the shelf

and start skipping down the aisle past me. Wee! Wee! We're having fun. I hope you got that ginger beer. Wine in Safeway? Is that where you're? Yeah, do they do wine? They have non-alcoholic wine there. Oh, where was he writing from?

He didn't say. Oh, because there's Safeway in America. Find his IP address, he'll tell you where it is. Yeah, so Graham, all you have to do is find his IP address and Abdul will do the rest. Dear Tanner, if you could really help me out of a bind here. Because yeah, they've been. Why do I keep drinking this?

Something about it. It is something about it. It really does start to like destroy the back of your throat at certain points. Oh yeah, it definitely tastes like, like eating nerds or something from childhood. It's just like concentrated sugar, but it's only got 20 calories.

Well, in addition to over-hearts that are written in, Yeah. It's just like concentrated sugar, but it's only got 20 calories. Mm-hmm. Well, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone call. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh, SpyPod one, like these people have. Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Rob from Ann Arbor, Michigan

calling in with an overheard. We have the University of Michigan here so I was waiting in line to pick up food and there was a group of college boys who were waiting behind me and one of them said to the others, have you guys seen the movie American Pie? The other kids were like no, no I haven't seen it and he said well you got to watch it because one of the guys in my frat actually wrote the movie and sold it to the guys who made it. And the other kids were like, no way. And the first guy was like, yeah.

And there's a character in it that they call Stiffler's mom. And I don't want to spoil anything, but he was not too happy when the movie came out This is baby reindeer all over again, they should have called him Kramer's mom They didn't want to get sued And let me tell you this did not Now what was the Middle Eastern version of American pie? Middle Eastern pie. Infidel pie.

And then it was just an hour and a half of the Muslim call to prayer. Oh, wow. I saw a guy who I was he parked his he was like looking underneath his Toyota Prius and I was like awesome what's wrong with that guy's car he's down on his knees he was praying in the middle of the street. Oh yeah. And I got it. Yeah. I got my phone out and I was like, Oh, is he facing it?

Oh, he's facing back. You can on Google you can find where it is. That's true. You can just Google where is Mecca. There's like a thing that goes- You just have to ask a guy at a gas station, hey, which way to Mecca? There's a thing that like uses your camera

and you, it'll like wherever you're, it'll show you where to point your camera. That's awesome. Yeah, it's good use of technology. Yeah, finding Mecca. It was really use of technology. Yeah. Finding Mecca. Mm-hmm. It was really hard to find. It was hard to find hiding way over there.

Just texted in the Arabian. I mean, finding Mecca, looking for comedy in the Muslim world. These are all things we're doing. Here's your next phone call. Yo, it's Michael. Yo. From another local Vancouver overheard.

So I was walking and I was behind a man and a woman. The man says to the woman, he says, so did you pause and enhance and analyze and zoom and all that stuff? The lady said, not yet, but now that I know where to see his penis, oh yeah. Okay, that's it. Bye. Love you. It's in a pie. You see, you you gotta zoom in and it's in a pie, as it were. It's so funny to hear people discover a thing

that was part of your- Oh, your back on American Pie? Yeah, I was just thinking about it like- Have you guys heard of this? No. Are you kidding? It's the greatest thing in the world. It was all we could talk about.

For me, it never worked. The concept, I was like, didn't hold together. It's like, what? It's going to fall apart right away. Yeah. And yet, they made five of them, I think. You mean the pie, though, right? The pie, I mean.

Oh, the pie. I thought you meant the series. No, the series of a bunch of friends trying to lose their virginity. That's fine. What do you think would be the most? I'm gonna say it fuckable pie Mmm cobbler. Oh cobbler. Yeah, that would hold the tape pretty well Definition not a pie most lascivious you've ever been I think

I'm thinking about having sex with a key lime pie. So it's gotta be chilled. Yeah, that's what I like about it Like it was good. I think in the movie they even say it's like warm America warm apple pie Yeah, but there's one freak is like my cold. Yeah From a diner this in sitting in display case all day Give me your coldest bye Well, we wish them the best yeah, I guess I would go with chicken pot. Oh, sure. Yeah. Greasy.

So odd. So odd inside. But hearty. It really sticks to your ribs for your pleasure. Nice. Sticks to your rib for pleasure. Okay. Hey, what up?

What up? This is Mitch Shee from San Antonio, Texas'm calling in with a spooky Halloween overheard. I was at Target in the Halloween part and I overheard a teen girl say confidently. Snakes don't have a skeleton. They do too. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Freaking scary. It's a scary skeleton for sure. A spooky scary skeleton. Well, it is the time of year that a skeleton...

Oh yeah, snake skeleton. Maybe this year instead of going as a skeleton, go as a snake skeleton. Oh yeah. Goes along, along the loose and weird looking ribs probably. I don't know. Well that brings us to the end of this episode. Abdul, thank you so much for being our guest and for bringing such delicious treats.

Thank you. Thank you for having me and shouldering the burden of all the things that I will leave here. Man, oh man, I'll tell you, you got to get this, Brian. It's starting to condensation happening on it. Get these in the fridge ASAP. Yeah. Do you remember when Virgin Cola put out the Pammy bottle that was supposed to look like Pamela Anderson's body? It was Pamela Anderson's measurements.

Whoa. Bottle form. Yeah. Woof. Yay, man. Richard Branson. I've never been wrong. I changed my pie to that.

American bottle. So people, if they want to find your podcast Spout lore spout lore is the first one, but I would recommend starting with mall brats. Yeah, it's Brand new it's got like a nice 80s soundtrack to it. It's like super nostalgic like mall vibes Yeah, it's like if gangs of New York featured a bunch of like Grubby orphans in the West Edmonton Mall. It's a lot of fun. I love it.

I love it. And remember not to be too, too friendly to a group of kids because you never know they're going to lure you in. You know what I mean? Try and sell you candy. Try and sell you candy. Exactly. Cookies maybe.

And thank you everybody out there for listening. You know what? Try an Edible arrangement. We're not doing ads for them, but Edible.com. Check it out. Thanks for listening and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.