Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 869 - Ryan Beil

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

Ryan Beil of the Sunday Service and the Town Show returns to talk jury duty, The Substance, and squibs.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 869. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who knows what this number is all about Mr. Dave Schumke. Why was seven aroused by eight? Tell me more.

Because 869. I guess. Yes. Yes. It's 869. I guess. Yes! Yes! Oh man, we wait every 100 episodes or so we get to, we get a 69 episode. It's the frickin' horniest episode of the year. Oh my god. Our guest has a mustache. Our guest has a mustache. Our guest has a mustache.

He's a returning guest to the podcast. He's one of our favorite. His mustache is covered in latte foam. I was like, this guy's gonna be great. He's a member of the Sunday service that perform each and every Sunday at the Fox Cabaret here in Vancouver. He has a brand new podcast called The Town Show. It's Ryan Beal.

Hello, Ryan. Hello. Have you ever gone back and listened to the intros for all the 69 numbered episodes? That's a good question. Have you gone back at all? Have you gone back at all? And tried to like-

I'd click on that YouTube clip if it was just like all the 69 numbered intros. Yeah, sure. Well, we have an Instagram page now and- Not on it. It's okay. Well, you're banned then. You're shadow banned. Oh, sure. Well, we have an Instagram page now and... Not on it. It's okay. Well, you're banned then. You're shadow banned. Oh, no.

And we've been making clips. So that's a good idea. We'll put that in the clip bank. There you go. If somebody wants to do that on their own, then we'll repost it. Hey, you know, all the power to you. And while you're there, the 420 episode, let's see what that was. Yeah.

We'll see what other funny numbers are there. Those are the big bouts. It's 010. 777 could be. Maybe you did something with 777. I mean, we did 666. Oh, yeah. We opened up some portals that we needed to close.

And you haven't yet. No, no, no. We don't know how to close them. We had Mike Mitchell from the Doughboys on because he's famously scared of the devil. Not me. Really? You know, Alice Cooper is also scared of the devil. Really?

Yeah. Turned into a Christian. Am I right? I don't know. Can we check that? I don't know. Okay, let's get our intern on there, Christoph. He was, I know he's a big boozer and he like, became a sober, a sober man.

When I was in theater school, my roommate told me that an Alice Cooper quote, which was like, if you think that the devil is made up, then you've already lost the battle kind of situation. Whoa. So I feel like, so either my roommate was lying. Who is this roommate? Chris, his name is Chris.

Okay, all right, dubious already. The devil, so if you think the devil's made up, you've already lost the battle. To the devil? Yeah, all right, dubious already. The devil, so if you think the devil's made up, you've already lost the battle. To the devil? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, because that's his first trick or whatever. He's tricking you, but I thought he has so many tricks. Yeah.

I mean, some would say the greatest. Yeah, kick flip, ollie. Really? He invented the ollie. Wait, was your roommate verbal kint from The Usual Suspects? Wait a minute. Did he say the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist?

Wait a minute. Is that basically the same thing? My roommate was The Usual Suspects DVD I had. Oh, cool. And that paid rent? Mm-hmm. Nice. Sure did.

Oh, let's get to know us. Get to know us. Now can we go through, who can remember all the usual suspects? And were there, how many were there? The names or the actors. Whatever you can remember. There was the Baldwin.

There's Benicio del Toro, Kevin Spacey, Baldwin, Stephen Baldwin. Stephen, right?y, Stephen Baldwin. Stephen, right? Stephen, yeah. Justin Bieber's. Justin Bieber's uncle. Uncle.

Father-in-law. Uncle-in-law. What's his name, the Irish actor? Very handsome, handsome. Gabriel Byrne. Gabriel Byrne. And finally. I'm out, by the way.

Wrapping up the cast. A different Kevin. Kevin. Imagine Sorpping up the cast. A different Kevin. Kevin. Imagine Sorbo. Pollock. Kevin Sorbo. Of course. From Thievy's Hercules.

As Hercules. I can't tell you any of the names of the people except one was named McManus. The other one was Verbal Kid. Verbal Kid and Kobayashi was one of the names. Was Pete Possell weight? I think so, yeah. That movie.

What was going on in your lives when you first watched that? Because it was like, shoved down my throat by friends. They were like, this is the best movie you'll ever see. What year were you born? 1982.

Nice. Yeah. Not bad, eh? Not bad at all. That came out maybe in 1995. Yeah. And where did the Blue Dock Saints come out? Cause I feel like those were-

Was it shoved down your throat like as it was in theaters or later? Later. Okay. After it was released on VHS. Cause I'll tell you what, I was 14, I guess, when it came out. I went to see it with my dad, loved it.

I was like, oh, they can make movies about stuff like this. Right. I've told this story before, famous story on the podcast. That's right. I went with my dad because my mother was too afraid to go. She was like, this movie is going to be too scary for me. I like my suspects to be unusual. Oh, now that's a funny movie.

Did they do like a rag tag group of suspects? Come together. Did they do a Polly Shore or Michael Richards? Harlan Williams? The unusual. Polly Shore or Michael Richards? Harlan Williams? Polly Shore or Michael Richards? They would need five of them. They would need five of them. I see, I see. National Lampoon's The Unusual Suspect?

Just like starring like Markie, Michael Richards. And then, so we went to see it, but my mom was like, okay, well, I'll go see how to make an American quilt in another theater. What? The theater right next to it. I don't remember that movie. It's a chick flick. It's where the Cali-Cali-Cali-Li-Lone is a chick flick.

Okay. And it's also weird, cause Kevin Spacey also plays a differently abled man in that movie too. Yeah. Well, spoiler alert, he's playing a character who's playing a character. Um.

Ah! There's a, but then my mother went into the wrong theater and sat through the previews and sat through the credits and then looked at her watch, realized she was in the wrong movie, but was like, well, it's too late to see how to make an American quilt. So I'll just sit here for seven.

Ha ha ha! You went up a notch. Yeah. Oh no. The unusual seismic is too wacky for me. Ha ha ha! So seven is scary too, because it's seven, eight, nine. Kevin Spacey has bad guy films. Back to back.

Although she only saw one of them. Right, but you guys could commiserate in the bar. Seven, eight, nine. Kevin Spacey as bad guy films. Back to back. Although she only saw one of them. Right, but you guys could commiserate on the bar, the way home. Yeah, well, yeah. Sure. I bet Kevin Spacey is so good at being a bad guy. Yeah, wanna spoil each other's movies?

That's right, because it wasn't until the very end that you even found out he was in the film, Kevin Spacey. Yeah, well, that role was originally offered to Michael Stipe, I think. Really? Yeah. No. That would have been weird.

Uh-huh, not an actor. What's the frequency, Kevin? Yeah. He seems like a guy who would have lost his religion, I think. Yeah. Well, that's him in the corner. Everybody hurts, check out this.

Everybody in this movie's gonna hurt. According to these clues, it's the end of the world as we know it. I got one, I did one too. I didn't do one, I just said what's the frequency. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In kind of an accusatory tone. It sounded like- Was that your in on REM?

Yeah, I mean like yeah, yeah Yeah, I think it really was mine, too I I was I knew losing my religion, but what's the frequency Kenneth that was grunged up for my generation There was also a boy named Kenneth in my grade 7 class and it was relentless for him. Oh, yeah Singing it to him saying it to him. Oh yeah, shit. Singing it to him, saying it to him. It actually drove him. Drove him to violence. Tell us more.

He just had some rage in him and he just didn't want to be asked what the frequency was anymore. But the more he demanded to not be asked, the more the people asked. Well sure, in grade seven, that's what you're supposed to do. Did you see me drool?

Yeah. Dave just drooled. I had to lookol? Yeah. I just drooled. I had to look down for a second and I drooled. But in fairness, Ryan's making some slow-smoke ribs. Yeah. So. Yeah. Tell us, please, about your new podcast.

It's called The Town Show. It's with, I think, fan favorite, maybe of U2, Mark Chavez. Love him, love him, absolutely. A fan favorite of us too. Of U2, yeah. I was gonna say the podcast, but who am I? Yeah, he's a favorite on the podcast, of course.

Yeah, we're fans of his. Yeah, U2 are definitely fans of his. We stan him. Yeah, right. So we're co-hosts, produced by Chris Kelly from Kelly and Kelly, who has guest, you know, Kelly and Kelly and it's a we're building an imaginary a fictional town one guest at a time. Okay. Bring a guest in they'll come on they'll like pitch us people who live in the town events that might have happened in the town landmarks that happen in town then we'll riff on them we'll kind

of panel them maybe we'll even do some scenes. Like, if they pitch a barbershop, we might do a scene in that barbershop, who knows. And at the end of the episode, we choose what we like to keep, what we don't want to keep, usually most things are kept. And slowly but surely, we're going to build this town with lore and history and a population and you know, sort of the- Who's keeping track of what- Chris Kelly, the producer. Who's keeping track of what's... Chris Kelly, the producer. He's keeping track of what's happening.

It's very loose. We're not like, when we started, we were like, we're gonna make sure it's like, we're gonna be really on top of this lore. And that was just not very fun. So we like, we can have more than one barbershop. You know what I mean? Well, it's a town.

Yeah, it's a town. And there's gonna be rival quartets and all the barbershops. Mm-hmm. Oh, man. But Chris Kelly, our producer, we have an ongoing list and we do a little roundup episode. What is it, he uses Google Sheets?

Does he use Google Dog? Yeah, Google Sheets, Google Dog. Does there on the horizon, is there any room for a drawn map of showing where all these things are related? That's the dream, that's the dream. That's the whole reason. Oh my God. That's the whole reason we started this. any room for a drawn map of showing where all these things are related. That's the dream. That's the whole reason. Oh my God.

That's the whole reason we started this. That was the best in school when you got to like, instead of doing a book report, just draw a map of where the book takes place. Yeah. I'm drawing a map. Circle dots in the middle. That was my style. This is Mordor.

Yeah. This is the Shire. But yes, eventually we'd love to have like a little like living web page where you can click on things and see who suggested it and you know, that's down the road. Oh, a wiki. A wiki. I like the, there was an era where there were websites, I'm thinking particularly of Corner Gas's website, where it would be like, you can click on the diner and you could click, and there was like a clip from the show or whatever. It doesn't exist anymore.

No. Super interactive websites. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, cause remember that was like- It was so cool. It was so cool. I feel like maybe, cause everyone just wants to like, simplify like the postmodern, like it should be sleek and it should be like simple. That's like the style now. Yeah.

But never Homestar runner. I do. Come on. That was a complicated little website. Yeah. Neo pets. Yeah. You're the man now dog. I remember Requiem for a Dream had an amazing website, so like tied into the movie and there's an email from this guy.

I mean, very depressing. And if you had two computers, you could put them back to back. Which we've talked about on the show that only at the time was I like, oh, that's awful. And then later as it went out, I was like, maybe that's what she likes. Maybe, butt to butt. I also remember movie trailers would end with the website name.

You've got to go to the website for, you know, the ring. Yeah, but it'd have to be like, are you the ring dog? Have you seen the ring's website? Dot movie. Yeah, exactly. It's got to be the ring dog, 1998. You know, a lot of that stuff went away because you remember with DVDs, you know what I mean? Like all that physical, like when you could have

all the different options. Also, do you go to websites anymore? Do you go, you've? No, I guess I don't. You Google things if you wanna know something about a movie. Well, I wish it was called for Jury Duty. I'm all over that website trying to get out of it. Oh, sure.

Yeah. Have you been called? JuryDuty.move.gov. I honestly, did Michael Richards and Polly sure both make jury duty movies Only sure for sure. What was Michael Richards? He might have been in That no, it was called like something like this What is the, what is jury duty look like in 2024? I mean, I don't know.

I've been called for, am I allowed to say this? No, don't tell us, but just like, what is- Just send me a letter. Yeah, you get a letter. And now I have to respond. Okay. This is recently? Either online or in the mail.

Yeah, recently I got a letter in the mail from the sheriff. There's a sheriff? The sheriff does the jury duty in the sheriff. We have sheriffs in Canada, but they're not like sheriffs. They're like all prisoners. With that mustache, you're a sheriff. Ryan's got a new mustache,

it's a little not Sam Neal, Sam Elliot. Yeah. A little Sam Elliot. It's long, it's hooking over the lip a little bit. You know what I mean? It's substantial. Yeah, it's a little Sam Elliott. It's long, it's hooking over the lip a little bit, you know what I mean, it's substantial. Yeah, it's a real cowboy mustache. You look like you could weld, looks like you could weld.

But I would wear a mask. No, no, no, you're gonna wear that mustache. Well, just to the lip level, because my mustache covers the lips. It's fine if a spark gets in there. Sure. That's fine. And this is your first, this is your first like foray into big mustache.

I was gonna say jury duty. I was gonna say jury duty, yeah. Have you ever jury duty before? I have been called, but I got out of it because I was in a play. Oh, and the world needs plays, the judge said. Kind of. I just said like, I can't do this.

I'm busy every day. Do they tell you how long? In the letter it says it's gonna be about 15 days. 15 days? Yeah but I'm like how much per day maybe I want to do it. Oh like an hour a day. You get like a little bit of money a day right? I don't know that's what I'm asking. Remember Taz? I think Taz. Let's call Taz. Taz? Hello? Taz does jury duty every month. He's got a racket. I had it once when I was 20, 21, and I was just had a crappy summer job and I was like, well, if I get it, I get it. Yeah.

And I didn't get it. I showed up and they wanted, I didn't even get called up before they got their 12. But you know what I think I'm gonna do if I get called up, if I can't get out of it? I'll just say this, there's no law that I can't say, I will not be impartial. Yeah.

I won't be impartial, I can't be impartial. I think he's guilty. My friend did a similar thing and I'm mad about it. Yeah, exactly. Would you pick me? I don't know, I'd be like, this guy kind of reminds me of a sheriff. I don't think anyone's ever thought of that

and they certainly don't have a way of dealing with people who do that. I do think you're not the first to like. Stand up and declare I can't be impartial. Yeah, or whatever. But wouldn't they be like, I don't want to deal with this guy, he seems like a little bit of a renegade.

Yeah, but the judge would be like, sit down. Okay, well I'll sit down then. Or it would be one of those things where, in a movie like, you know what? We need more renegades out here. I like what you just did there. That's why you have to be on the judge. This is for the renegades.

In fact, you're the foreman. Did you see that Jury Duty TV show? Nope. Oh, no I did. You were two ago? No I didn't, I missed it. It was, did you watch it? No.

It was about, like, everyone on The Jury was an actor except one guy. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And it was pretty good. They got the right guy for it. He was like, he had a good attitude and was like not quite figuring things out. Yeah, right.

But like was suspicious of weird stuff going on. Nice. It played pretty well. Do you remember in the O.J. Simpson documentary, the Cherry members were like, this ruined our lives. We were in there for months and couldn't read the newspaper, couldn't call our loved ones. Couldn't call our family.

For so long. Yeah. And then, you know, I mean, at least they made the right choice, is what I'm glad. Uh-huh. Yep. They let that juice loose. Yeah.

Yeah. It's in his name. Let him loose. Well, rest in peace to OJ at the moment. At the moment. It is spooky season. It is Halloween weekend. Well, at the moment, it's actually mid-November.

Oh, right, right, right. never mind, never mind, never mind. Well, it's still, you know, graveyard and stuff in November, yeah. It's still residual spooky. Ryan, are you a spooky man? In what way? Do I believe in ghosts? Do I like the season? Answer the question. Okay, yeah, I think I might be a bit of a spooky man. This guy's a renegade.

I love the season. I love when people start putting up their little stupid Halloween decorations from the big to the small To like the thought out to the the cheap. I love it all. Yeah, I like that I just like crap on people's lawns. I think great me too have crap on your lawns every day Yeah, every month should have its own crap on let's put stuff on your lawns. I love it now There's a I don't know if you've seen it up Ontario Street in Vancouver I love it. Now there's a I don't know if you've seen it up Ontario Street in Vancouver This person every two years in a row at least has does does this Halloween display that has a a big radioactive spider That's great. Yeah, and then he's got an all-day kind of fountain with this skeleton puking out green liquid really That's cool. It's so cool. It's just a skeleton with sunglasses on going like into a garbage can and the water is somehow a bit green

It's awesome. Oh, that's awesome. I go up. I sometimes walk my dog there just to look at it Does your dog get scared of any of the or does he like the bones? She doesn't really get scared Does it she doesn't really notice a statue or a thing? We were walking no comment yesterday and there was a, someone has just made a corpse, like filled clothes with like stuffing and is lying face down. It's someone who died recently.

Yeah. And it's not, it's also like right next to the sidewalk, not in the yard, very deep. And the dogs were freaked out about it. Sure. There's also one I like that a house that is sort of a modern looking house, it's like shiny and they added a bunch of shiny silver.

Oh, this guy's the guy that goes all out. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, the grinder. Yeah, the meat grinder. But they've made the house look like a walk-in freezer. Yeah. Every year he picks a theme and it's made the house look like a walk-in freezer. Yeah. Every year he picks a theme and it's all brand new.

Last year it was carnival. No, last year was clowns and the year before was carnival. Anyway, enjoy mid-November everyone. Yeah, and I love the Remembrance Day display. Yeah. Oh, you know what? I saw, which is going right against the point of it. There was a guy at a checkout and he like, he said to the cashier,

I don't have any money for the poppy. So he just took one and I was like, well that's not, wearing the thing is not as important as the money of the thing. And there's gonna be more poppy opportunities. Pop-ortunities. As we like to call them around the loon,

pop-ortunities. Like this is not, you can find a loony and come back. Yes. Can you though? When's the last time you had a loony? Oh, good question. I've got a few, well, we've got a residual laundry change jar at our house because our apartment building only recently switched to smart washers and dryers.

So now we use an app. We use an app. Oh, you use our app. We use an app. Oh, you use an app? We have to use our phones. Mine's a fob based. I kind of miss the change. Yeah, I miss change in general. Like you know, pulls them out from behind a kid's ear.

Yeah, sure. Debit card. Yeah, it doesn't work. So I gave a looney to Mark Chavez's son Cosmo the other day. I was like, I want to give you a looney Cosmo. And he was like, why? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?

This is a choking hazard. I mean, he is three, but yeah. Yeah, but he's gotta learn about change sooner or later. Someday. Yeah. We give our kids allowance in cash. And then when they want to buy something, we pay for it with debit. And they give you the cash back.

I love it. I'm good for it, Dad. I, during the summer, I had kind of a, always carry some sort of cash on me in case I came across a lemonade stand. So always in case, because walking past a lemonade stand when they're kids, you're like, I do have the money I just

That is disheartening with the kids the kids are they just you know, they're just trying to sell their little lemonade Yeah, and you can't do it I remember once walking down the street and a kid walking away from a house just looking so dejected because he was selling cookies, or she was selling cookies. And I walked across the street and I had a 20 on me. I was like, give me four. She was just like, ah.

It's like the whole day's total. Well, one of my daughters is in Brownies. It's called embers now. Embers. And they... Why was that switched? The word brownie didn't refer... It referred to like some kind of fairy or sprite or something.

Was it an owl? No. I always thought it was the food. I always thought it was the fact that they were brown uniforms. Sure. But they don't anymore. So what's the point? But there were like, while it did not have racist origins, there were some people who

thought, is this racist? Yeah, probably a good switch. Yeah, and so they went with it. Because one of the kids care. Yeah. They don't care. Yeah. You get to put a little thing on and you go to your little meeting and you sell your little

cookies. Yeah. And like the last three years we've been doing it with both kids, the meetings have been kind of like, you know, just, you know, parent volunteers and they're okay. And this year, the person running it is so on top of it and like has been running this for years. And when they went to sell cookies she has a square.

Nice! Nice! Yeah, awesome. That's the way. Cookies are $60 a box now though. Yeah. That's worth it. I'll take it.

Yeah. They're good. Okay, I'll give you. I'll take one. So they're the mint ones. Yeah. My Spotify subscription just went up in price. That's true.

So, I don't know. I'm going gonna have to cut back on my cookie spending. Yeah, my Excel sheet, it's like, cookies and streaming. Yeah, I'm gonna do two of these. That's kind of the only two rows or columns. Can't remember which one's which. I'm in the red in both. X divided by Y or whatever. So Ryan, this podcast of yours, who's, what kind of guests do we expect?

We've had Pete Uldring. Yeah. Okay. We've had Caitlin Howden. Both had Maddie Kelly. They're our guests. Comedians. These are all fan faves.

Yeah. People who probably, there's probably a lot of correlation between people who've been on this podcast. That's what I'm saying saying and might be on that Podcast yeah, because it is it is riff friendly totally it is shoot the Shenola oh, I can't say yeah, yeah, yeah Shoot the stuff Friendly and swear I can't okay shoot the shit

Yeah, no, it's a is like I don't know if I have an exhaustive list, but we've only been doing it for about 10 or 11 episodes, very new. And it's a cavalcade of sorts. Love to have you both, can't wait to have you both on it. Yeah, I've got an idea for something. Exactly. In a town. Exactly.

Is there a red light district here? Hello. Yeah, 869 over here. Maybe I'm Graham on episode 69. 869. You can't open it right next to a school. No, no, just hear me out. Land next to the school is cheapest. That's fine. In our town, that's fine.

Land next to a school is cheapest? Nobody wants to live next to a school. Oh, sure. It stinks. Too loud. That recess bell every day. Rawr. Too loud.

Pencil crayons everywhere. Ha ha ha ha. Recess bells too loud. I'm usually asleep at 10 o'clock when they have recess. Hey. Rawr. Did you guys have buzzers or bells in your elementary school?

Mine was a buzzer. For recess. Mine was a buzzer, too. I think it was a buzzer. Yeah. A honk. Here's an impression of mine. Rawr. Very close. Yeah. Mine. a buzz. Yeah honk. Here's an impression of mine

Very close. Yeah, mine There was it was very kind of like a hum more of a huh, oh I see yeah, it was sort of like Like a tone. It was like tinnitus. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was like a Tesla backing up yeah, I that sound if I heard that sound now, I bet you would have that Pavlovian my gosh response of like when it's time for recess time for like, finish eating your fruit by the foot. Quick. Get off your finger. You're in the middle of a trade. This is the deal. Last shot at Marvel's.

Come on, come on. That was the panic? Was the coming back from recess? Not the like 9am first thing in the morning. Oh that's true, that would be stressful as well. But same as the 4 o'clock going home buzzer. Well because you got an hour of detention. And that's where you shine. Did you ever get detention?

We didn't have a detention system, but I was like reprimanded and like made to stay after class from time to time. What was the, what did they punish you with? If they were reprimanded? Garbage duty. We got garbage duty with garbage duty at our school. So you, but that was kind of like a sought after position. And a lot of, for like a long walk with your friend

who also got in trouble. Yeah, and they've given you tongs and a bag of garbage. Yeah. Like, the world is yours at that point. Don't you want any more garbage? Would that be like instead of lunch hour, you would have to? Yeah, on your recesses, on your lunch hour,

you would have to go and do garbage duty. But there wasn't a lot to pick up. No. Sure. Wasn't a ton to pick up. No. Sure. Wasn't a ton to pick up. We were the- And then again, yeah, then you would just play with the tongs. We were the generation that was taught we could save the world by not littering. Yeah. Well, we had to do.

That was- We put your garbage in one place. That was environmentalism 1.0. But have you- Make garbage, but just put it in one place. When you see somebody litter, isn't it mind-blowing? Like, where did- It's insane.

Where did you grow up that you think that that is? If there's like someone like on the highway just chucking stuff out their car, it's like, are you kidding me? Not only is that, but it's so dangerous. Yeah. You just chuck it out your window, come on. But I've seen guys litter,

they just throw like empty pack of cigarettes on the ground. Bye bye. Yeah. Or like in the, it's usually in a place where people are gathering and they'll just like pretend not to take their like, you know, oh, I'm sitting at a bench and I, you know, I'll just leave my coffee cup.

Like a spy. I didn't actually, you know, throw anything down. I just didn't pick it up when I left. Yeah, it's not litter per se. Anybody could come and pick it up. I saw on the ground near a bench the other day, an entire cigarette, like, unsmoked and I was like,

some dirtbag is gonna love. Yeah. And that just ruined somebody's day too, when they got on the bus like, oh no, no, my wish cigarette. My one cigarette. My one cigarette. Oh man, there was nothing worse than pulling out a cigarette

and it landing in a puddle or something like that. How much, cigarettes are over $20 a pack now. So they're over- If you, yeah, and about one in a puddle or something like that. Like how much cigarettes are over $20 a pack now. So they're over a must be. Yeah, over one in a while. Over a dollar a cigarette, I'm guessing. Probably 20, 25, depending on the kind you're buying. I think you can get, I just saw an ad for them where they're completely no name cigarettes.

And they just, they come in a blue package or a red package and you order them online and It's their cartons, but they're like of who knows where they're from who knows how good they are, but they're cheap They're like 15 bucks are the blue and the red different at all. Do you know don't know? Yeah, but that's Like Democrat Republican blue pill red pill, you know, I mean, yeah your side. Yeah. Yeah firemen policeman. Yeah I hate the firemen. That would be very funny if there was somebody who was so pro police and so anti-fireman. You don't see a lot of thin red lion shirts.

Hey, fab. Ghost rider instead of punisher. Still a skull. Still a skull? Absolutely. Still a skull. Those fucking firemen think they're so shit on Red Lives Matter. That is good stuff. Yeah. So are you, when you record this stuff, are you recording this?

I'm laughing so much. You're having so much fun. Well, that's the thing I do have to, when I do any podcast, I think, sometimes I laugh too much into the mic, you know, I have such a good time. Yeah. And then my biggest note for myself afterwards is like stop cackling. Mmm, like it goes away I'm fifth grader. You do enough podcasts. You've done a Many though. I'm a bit of a bit of a giggle factor. Yeah, I mean, I love it

It's not the worst thing in the world, but I you know, it's just that's we do laugh a lot. Mm-hmm Yeah, I'm a bit of a laffer last time you were on our show You're probably making one of your Let's make a podcast which we've worked together on. Which we worked together on. And I think the most recent one was a spooky one. Horror. Yeah.

That's the last one we did. Yeah, and you were in the movie and it was called Close and Lock the Patio Door. That's right, we just watched it on the big screen. There was a horror film festival in Vancouver and it was played. Oh really? And we got to see it on the big screen. Well was a horror film festival in Vancouver and it was played. Oh, really? We got to see it on the big screen.

Yeah. Tell us a little bit about this movie because people who haven't heard the podcast, it's you and Mark Chavez. And Maddie Kelly. And every season, it's either we've done sci-fi, we've done rom-com, we've done horror. And it's about the three of us as comedians attempting to write

a script or create an idea based on one of those genres. Right. The last one we did was horror where we actually decided as opposed to just writing a script, we made a short film, which was part of like the final project of the piece. Okay. And the piece was called Close and Lock the Patio Door. And it starred the three of us, directed by Mark, and it was not very scary.

How many minutes long? Oh gosh. 10 to 11? Okay, so this was in a feature length. No, short film. The first cut of it was pretty long. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Too long. Top heavy. And then I think what we found in the process, you had friend of the show, Emmett Hall, come and do the music. And it made the film. And yeah, like- We didn't really have a horror movie

until we had horror music. Yeah. And the tent shit. Which is I think- Huge part of it. Yeah. Huge part of it. But like way bigger part than you actually thought it would be.

Way bigger. Like if you had just started there. Yeah. If we had that, the movie that we just watched on the big screen without Emmett Hall's horror suspenseful tent music, it would be just kind of like a C plus of a movie. Yeah.

But with the music, it's like a C plus of a horror movie. No, I love it, I love it. But it was a, of course, it's not like, we wrote it in like this non-traditional way because it's for the podcast, so we like, generate ideas, and then we pick the one we like the best, and then we have to get it done by a certain time, you know. So we have all these sort of fun,

slash stressful restrictions on the project. So, for what it was, I think it was really cool. And my beautiful dog, Woody, who passed away, is in it, and there's a big memorial for him in the credits and that was really nice to see on the big screen. What? Her. It's a him. Oh, okay.

Well, the Graham guy, the other dog's general. Me-Loo, yeah, Me-Loo is a her. Okay. It's funny, I was watching, I watched a horror movie, I guess more of a thriller movie called Don't Move, which is about a woman being stalked and then given a solution that is going to make her paralyzed so that Serra Clark can do what he wants with her.

It's beat for beat like another movie, but the other movie is so much better. I don't know if it was just like little things like music, or casting, or just like something little little things like casting Because everybody was good in this movie, but it was just like What movie was it like? I think it was called Alone and it's The initial part is like a woman being stalked on the highway a car following her and like just him being at the gas station Suddenly and her him trying to make conversations conversations just gets more and more ominous.

Yes. I feel like an old relative sometimes. But when they're like, oh, what are you watching? Oh, G.I. Joe, but it's close to mask. Transformers are kind of like go-bots. Oh, that's good. Like a robot. Oh, that's good.

But it does show there there's just like some element, basically the same story, but some element that like... Is it the element of surprise? Could be. A horror movie? That's definitely an element. Oh boy. Earth, wind, fire, air, and surprise.

What is the general plot of Closed and Locked? It's about a young man. I say that because it's starring me. Okay. Young man. It's about a guy who does something very embarrassing. It's kind of mysterious what he does, but he does something very embarrassing at an event,

like a wedding or something, because he got too drunk and decides to like, I gotta get out of town because I'm sort of self-cancelling myself and going to a cabin in the woods. I've rented an Airbnb, bad move, young man. And then on the Airbnb thing, like, hey, welcome to the house, this is what you gotta do, all the little rules of the house.

It's like always close and lock the patio door before sunset. Right. And then that's sort of the gist. It's a little bit about him and his propensity to get too drunk and also that the patio door is scary. Yeah. Sounds scary. They are.

They are. They're like, if you. They're a scary door. Getting that switch. Like that little lock, and it's like the most vulnerable door. It's a big window usually. Yeah, you can walk right into it sometimes. When you go get water at night, like on my patio door, I'm always like,

ah, it'd be scary if there was someone there, wouldn't it be? And you're like, okay, is it up lock or down lock? Exactly. And even when you test it, it's like, ah, it's basically open. It's flimsy. Yeah, it's so flimsy. It's got a screen on it as well that you don't even notice is there sometimes. It gets ripped or whatever.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get humiliated when you walk into it. Mm-hmm. Wait, that's scary enough right there. Oh, man. But we shot it in Hope, BC, at a cabin. Just like Rambo.

Just like Rambo. Just like Rambo. We actually went to the Rambo statue to ask for good vibes for our movie when we got into town. He was like, I'm gonna be a wuss right there. No! So we went to the cop statue. Arrest this man! The statue arrest this man.

He's like, wait, Rambo's right there! Just tell this to the judge. Actually, before I get selected, I'd like to talk about when I arrested the Rambu statue. And they're like, I don't know what the hell this guy's talking about. We need him on the jury. He's brave enough to arrest the Rambu statue. And he's unemployed enough to just be here. Well, that's cool that you made a thing you made and finished it.

It was really cool that this film festival allowed us to have us at their... It's just, it's so rare to make something seen on the big screen. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. As a short film you make or, you know. I only, the only screen I look at is the, planetarium.

So. Yeah, you like. Yeah, there's been a movie that played on the planetariums, really. The next step is to get the short film into IMAX. We didn't shoot it on IMAX. It's called Lasers Upland. Yeah, those, I didn't know that there was a specifically a horror film. You know what? I'll have to look it up the specific name

because I want to mention it on the podcast, maybe after we take a break. There was one years ago and it was like something where to or something like that. It was really good. I saw a movie that was so scary, but it was- But it was all Spanish? It was all Spanish and I was like, I don't understand what they're saying. It was a European film. Don't remember the name of it.

Oh, it was so scary. Oh my gosh, what happened? It's a disabled man who, when his family leaves for the day, the neighbor comes over and fucks with them. Oh no. And there's no way he can communicate. He can't tell what's going on. Oh.

And you were like cheering for the neighbor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Neighbor, neighbor, neighbor. I was big into Wilson from Home Improvement, so any neighbor I was like. Eddie Haskell. Mrs. Ockmonick. The guy from Empty Nest, you know the Smarmy guy.

Yeah, Smarmy guy. Yeah, I love that guy. David Leisure. Kramer, of course. Kramer, of course. The kid that climbed the tree on Doogie Howser. I feel like he was a neighborhood kid. Oh, Vinnie.

Vinnie. Vinnie. What was Vinnie's last Vinny? Vinny? Vinny? Vinny? What was Vinny's last name? Testarino? It could be. Something like that. Something like that, right?

Yeah. Not Vinny Testaverde, he was a quarterback. Paul Pfeiffer. Paul Pfeiffer! Oh yeah. Good neighbor. I mean, the friends were neighbors with each other. Absolutely.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Dawson and- Oh, Squiggy. Joey. Oh yeah, Squiggy right out of the hall- Oh, Squiggy. Joey. Oh yeah, Squiggy right out of the hall. Squiggy and the other guy. Leonard.

Leonard and Squiggy. The imperfect strangers. There was a thing in my stupid Facebook. My Facebook just shows me a bad AI. And it takes, weirdly we'll take pictures that are real pictures and just make them look bad. Yeah. Like make them look airbrushed, but something's off.

And it was doing this with all these shows, like all these sitcoms from the 80s and it was showing just shows that had one person still surviving. So it would make everyone on the cast black and white except for Michael McKean from Laverne and Shirley or Joyce DeWitt from Three's Company. I wonder how everyone from Soaps doing.

All dead. All dead, eh? Yeah, undead, one of them. David Letterman, Yeah. I wonder how everyone from Soap's doing. All dead. They're all dead, eh? Yeah. Undead, one of them. David Letterman, dead. Wait, was he on Soap? Was he on Soap?

Was Billy Crystal on Soap? Billy Crystal was on Soap. Maybe David, no, here's what I'm thinking. I remember I once watched, they had like the stars of CBS do athletic games. Oh, Battle of the Network Stars? Yeah, yeah, Battle of the Network Stars. And David Letterman was against someone from Soap.

Where is my brain cross-reference? Wow. Yeah, it's weird that there was an era where like, first of all, they weren't told if, they were told when. Yeah. Like, you are going against Elf. In a relay race. And they have to shoot their face from the wind. It's a team of two!

There's two guys doing Elf! It's me versus two! I was watching that. I watched an old one of those, and it's Howard Cosell announcing it. Oh, yes. And it was all these, like, Malcolm Jamal Warner, like all these stars of, you know, network shows. And then from Moonlighting, they had Elise Beasley, who is the third lead on Moonlighting.

But Howard Cosell referred to her as Cookie Elise Beasley. You gotta bring that back. Yeah, I don't know. That show's gonna come back. I think that that's a show that people would, I feel like- What network stars are there?

Well, you could do better than Netflix. Yeah, yeah, that's not bad. You could get Kevin Costner in there from Yellowstone. Well, he's Paramount. It wouldn't be as regimented. But you could do a version of it. You would do Netflix versus Paramount Plus versus Hulu versus Disney Plus.

Versus Tooby. Versus Tooby and TV. Wax is a big D. Or it would be, oh I couldn't. I mean they still have NBC, CBS and ABC. Yeah. They still make shows. They have two stars.

Then our talk show host. Can't do it, I'll pass. Done. Okay, I can do it. I know that Kathy Bates is the new Matlock. Oh, but she's not, yes. But she exists in a world where Matlock, the TV show, exists. Yeah, but she's not yes, but she like this in a world where Matt Locke the TV I know it's

They shoot that here. I have not got an audition notice Okay, but I wouldn't put it have you got an audition notice for so help me Todd. I've been on so help me Todd Oh, yeah, are they still making it's canceled? Okay. Yeah, I played a character named. Mr. Purple. That's pretty good Yeah, so help me Todd starred Mr. Purple. That's pretty good. Yeah. So help me Todd starred Damn don't know his name not Skylar Aston Sounds like he just made up an actor. And not oh, who's the woman not Jean Triple Horn? Starring not Skylar Aston. Skylar Aston and Marcia Gay Harden. Marcia Gay Harden. Oh

They went to the pawn shop on 15th and Main. Nice. 14th and Main. You know what? Do you guys know the Matblog theme song? If you recall it in your head. Oh, I didn't get it at all. When there's a kid. Yeah. And then it goes into a night court a little bit when I do it like.

But like Matlock was one of those such a slapping. Yeah. In song when I was a kid, I was like, I am not changing the channel at all. Yeah. I know it might not interest me when I get to the show, but I like this music. Oh, man, a juicy theme song. No, I've watched a lot of Matt Locke, Ben Matt Locke. Yeah.

Matt Locke, Murder She Wrote, early seasons of Law and Order are my favorite TV of all time. Early Law and Order. Yeah, first four seasons. We got into it as a teen because I got sick one day and I watched like six episodes it was on A&E I'm like I'm okay when they had back-to-back episodes or back-to-back Jerry or back Lenny briscoe. Mm-hmm. They got a Jerry or box streets in New York So much good. They should a Jerry Orbach Street in New York, somewhere near. Good, they should.

Yeah. What an actor. Good Lord. What an actor. When you found out that he was not just Briscoe, that... Blew my mind a little bit, but I kind of knew that already

because I had seen Dirty Dancing before as a boy. And you didn't, did you know that Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast was him? That was a bit of a mind blowing experience. Yeah, right. Like, are you kidding me? I said to my dad, and he's like, no, I'm not Ryan. Did you know that Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast was here? That was a bit of a mind blowing experience for me. Like, are you kidding me? I said to my dad, and he's like, no, I'm not Ryan. Your dad was running down the castle.

A what? Well, yeah, that's what he did for a living. I remember I went to see Beauty and the Beast with my dad as well, but my mom was gonna come, but she thought it would be too scary. So she saw Texas chainsaw man. Well, too late to leave now and it'd be rude if I left in the middle. I'm here to watch Paris, Texas. I'm here to see fried green tomatoes. I also loved that movie growing up. Great movie.

Oh yeah. Fried green tomatoes? Then you'll love how to make an American quilt. I also loved that movie growing up. Great movie. Oh yeah. Fry green tomatoes? Yeah. Then you'll love how to make an American quilt. Okay. Yeah. I think it's in that ballpark.

Is who's in, do you know? American quilt? I want to say Winona Ryder. Oh, okay. She's a- Maybe Marcia Gay Harden. Was it, is it, this is us older, this is us younger, or am I thinking of it now?

You're thinking of now and then. Now and then. Or big time stuff. I think I made up. Big time stuff. This summer. Fried green tomatoes are so good. Honestly, how to make an American quilt is so unpopular.

Here's how much I've typed. Honestly, how to make an American quilt is so unpopular. Here's how much I've typed. How to make an Ameri, and Google is... And still like, I don't know. Google is suggesting how to make an Americano. Ah, yeah. Yeah. How to make an American quilt stars.

And you get to the, you get to, and the cuteness, like how to make an Americano quietly. Impossible. Well, it's the quiet kind of make in American Americano quietly. Impossible. Well, it's the quietest of the espresso drinks. It stars Winona Ryder and Bancroft, Ellen Burston, Alfie Woodard. Alfie? Kate, Alfie. Kate Nelligan.

Gene Simmons. Come on, get to the bros. Gene Simmons? No. That can't be right. Gene Simmons? No. I can't be right. Gene Simmons, the star of Spartacus. Oh, okay. Okay, yes.

Not from Guar. No. Guarticus. And Dermot Mulrooney is the 10th name here, and he is the first male mentioned. He's the quilt. Yeah. Yeah.

The titular voice of the quilt. Oh boy, both Claire Danes and Jared Leto are in it. It's a real, my so-called life. My so-called quilt. Big time stuff. Yeah. Big time stuff. Kathy Bates is in Fried Green Tomatoes, right?

Yes. Is that the one she makes? Right. She makes a Saran Wrap dress? Yes. And her husband's all like. Cause she's supposed to greet him wearing nothing but Saran Wrap, and she makes a whole gown out a Saran Wrap dress. Yes, and her husband's all like. Because she's supposed to greet him wearing nothing but Saran Wrap and she makes a whole gown

out of Saran Wrap instead of just wrapping it around her. He's embarrassed. Well, yeah, he doesn't know. He doesn't know the cheese. I haven't seen any of these. Fried green tomatoes when you Google it. Fried green tomatoes is really. Shows the food.

Yeah, it's good, there's a good, everybody's good in it. What's the one with? Drink your juice, Shelby. Shelly Shelby. Hmm. Drink your juice, Shelly. I don't know. Paul came over the room. Yeah. I'm not sure.

McCain juice presents. Steel Magnolias. Ah, yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah. Very sad. Southern, both Southern. Southern and they're both named after an item that's true Something you know tangible Go for a fried green tomato right about now. Have you ever had them? No, don't know what they taste like they look in the the movie. Amazing. So good. Are they deep fried? I think they're breaded, yeah, and deep fried.

I think so. Yeah, or at least on the grill, on the griddle. For sure. Well, that wouldn't be griddled. Well, ah, boy. You couldn't, you know, do they have gluten-free breading? I don't know!

I just get the tomato without the breading. As a newly gluten-free breading. I don't know. I just get the tomato without the breading. As a newly gluten-free person, what is your relationship with fried foods now? Fried foods, I think that I'm not celiac. I think that if I have a little, I don't think that I've, I don't get dizzy and I don't feel, I feel like I blow up like a balloon. That's kind of the only ill side effect.

Well, I mean, later on it's a real show, but. Big time stuff. Really big time stuff. But I've yet to have a thing where I'm like, I didn't know what the thing was. Yeah, yeah. So like, I feel like, I know they have like dedicated fryers

and I don't think I've ever. So when you're at a KFC and you just eat the breading cause you're a vegetarian as well. Yeah. Can you just. You guys making a separate fry? 26 piece bucket. I'm just gonna eat the breading cause I'm a vegetarian.

Do you want the chicken back or? Surely you can refry these. Surely you can refry these. Now, speaking of horror movies, Dave, what's going on with you? Well, I think it's the same thing that's going on with you. Graham and I both saw a scary movie. Oh yeah, tell me more. Yes, tell me more.

We both saw it separately. Yeah. I went by myself. Yeah. Did you go by yourself? I went with my wife, Sally. Okay. Yeah.

And the manager and curator, Brent Constantine, was there with his squeeze. Oh, just, you didn't say what he was the manager or curator of. Oh, so they're little non-gallery. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, persona. He's one of those, what do you call it, people who take law into their own hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a vigilante. Kind of a renegade. Yeah, yeah.

And that's why he has to be on jury day. I went to see The Substance, and so did you. I did. And it is, what did you know going into, we're not going to, I don't know, I won't spoil anything, but maybe did you I did and it is what did you know going into we're not gonna But maybe if you really really really want to save everything skip past this part Okay, thanks ten minutes. Yeah, ask the jet. This is so it it there is a substance that keeps you young and fresh pretty much Okay Yeah

And it's the weird thing right off the bat, all the coming soon trailers were from movies that were already out at the beginning of October. Yeah. Which feels like that maybe is just a theater. It was like, I got Saturday Night Live. Joker, Adi. What's the Conclave? The Conclave, that's right.

Yeah, that's Saturday Night Live one. I mean, I'll end up watching it inevitably, but. I'm seeing it today. Are you really? No, I don't have plans to, but I am on board for it. It just looks so overwrought in the trailer. I just can't. I just wanna, I just.

I just can't when people are like, comedy is really serious. Yeah. You know what I mean, the vibe, and maybe the show is stressful, I get it, but like, I don't know. It's also like. It's not that important.

When you're casting people who are. Is it that important? It's been out for, the show's been on for 50 years. I think they can make one movie about it. You're right. I'm not saying don't make it. But did you also feel like watching the trailer, like feels like they really nailed John Belushi actor wise.

The guy who's playing Andy Kaufman. No thanks, Jim Carrey already did it to perfection. So I I didn't see it So this will be my first Who else is it that I watched in the trailer I was like, no not even close Apparently people thought that Chevy chase looked quite and Dan Aykroyd looked quite Similar to their real life. I don't need them to look like them. I do. To make it. This isn't a Timothy Chauvet look alike competition. Also in the trailer, Jim Henson, who a lot of people don't know

was in the first season of Side Eye Live. Now there's been a lot of people very upset at that portrayal of Jim Henson. Well, is it? And what's his name? Cousin Greg, he plays two parts. He plays, I think, Andy Kaufman and Jim Henson. He plays both?

What? Yeah. Come on. Jim Carrey's just sitting there. You could get him, put on the old turtleneck, you Kaufman and Jim Hedges. He plays both? What? Yeah. Come on. Tim Carey's just sitting there. You could get him, put on the old turtleneck, you would say, get out the old record player. Anyway, so we saw the substance. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But. Okay, go ahead, give it. No, I'll, like, with the Saturday Night Live movie, it's not like... You guys need the substance.

You put it in my brain. Teasing, teasing. We'll go back to the Saturday Night Live movie. With the SNL movie, it's not like a thing that famously happened and then burnt out. It's like, we know that they got past that first episode. Exactly. 50 years later, they're still putting together episodes. It's quite popular.

Yeah. Do you think, at the end of the Saturday Night Live- We should do a battle of the network stars between the current cast of Saturday Night Live and the current cast of Mad TV. Just see who wins. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha like in Saving Private Ryan, where they're like counting down three, two, one, and then it's the new cast. And it's like, okay, yes. There you go. I don't know, I haven't seen Saving Private Ryan.

You haven't? No, but thanks for spoiling the end. Well, the war ends. Yeah. Very end of the movie. They go three, two, one, and here's- A seven to live cast. Three, two, one, here's the new cast of Saving Private Ryan.

Here's a band of brothers. You know the ending, right? You know what I'm talking about. I do know, yes, I, here's the new cast of Saving Private Life. Here's a band of brothers. You know the ending, right? You know what I'm talking about. Yes, I do know the ending. Where it's like, it's old time and then fast forward. Yeah. Yeah. To future time. It's Matt Damon changes into an old man.

Yeah. Because you're meant to think it's Tom Hanks at the beginning. Oh. Remember? Yeah. Well, I think at the beginning, there's so much shooting. It's just like this old man won't slow down

because he wants to get to this grave. Papa, Papa, the grave's not going anywhere. Oh, I want at the beginning, it's like this old man like won't slow down because he wants to get to this grave Papa papa the grave's not going anywhere He's like yeah the first line in that movie is papa papa the grave's not going anywhere Why did you bring that drill? Are you gonna hump a hole in the grave? Oh no. Never you mind. This is my day. This is my big day. Grave day. Anyway, we saw the substance.

Oh, and like. What did you know going in? I knew that it was gonna be squelchy. Yeah, I knew it was, I heard it was gross. I heard it was the grossest thing you've ever seen. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross.

And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gross. And it was gonna be squelchy. Yeah, I knew it was, I heard it was gross.

I heard it was the grossest thing you've ever seen. And I knew that it starred Demi Moore. Who we love. And I only found out after, but the director also directed like one of my fave horror movies of the last couple of years, Revenge, it's called. And boy, does she like bodily fluids this. Okay. Is it a lot of practical bodily fluids? Almost all. Yeah. I find all my body fluids

are pretty practical. Not mine. They gotta go somewhere. Mine are impractical jokers. That's the spoof of the Joker movie starring Michael Richards and Polly Short. What I knew was it was very gross and it is very gross. Even the parts, like I was like, oh, this is going to be body horror. And I haven't seen like, I haven't seen, like, I haven't seen the fly. I haven't seen- Oh, it's very the fly. Or human centipede, I haven't seen that.

Didn't see that one. Yeah, the human centipede's like, it's more evil. Like the fly's like gross, but like the evilness in the human centipede kind of. But this movie is like so gross, even when there's not body horror. Yeah. It's like- Really? Like Dennis Quaid is like so gross, even when there's not body horror. Yeah. It's like, really?

Like Dennis Quaid is eating the shrimp and you can hear the wobbling shrimp, his eating with his mouth open. Oh. And the camera, it's like a fisheye lens on him. And it reminded me mostly of like when Ren and Stimpy would do a close up shot. Oh my God, I love that.

Like, real close-up shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like flies. Yeah. There's like butts that like, you see, for some reason, it's about a person who has an exercise show. Yeah. And there's like close-ups on butts with like G-strings barely covering the butthole.

Like you can see. The way I prefer. You can see where the skin kind of caves in covering the butthole. Like you can see the skin kind of caves in towards the butthole. But that's, I feel like the last couple of years I've gone to beaches, that's very much on the menu. There's nearly not there, you're bathing in costumes. Graham shows up at the beach, starts patting his belly. What's on the menu?

No, with a menu, with a laminated menu. Bartender. But I've seen in the last year or so stuff that's way grosser than this movie. The practical effects were amazing because it brings you back to the 80s where it's all rubber and spraying fake blood everywhere. That's so fun. It's so much fun and it's better than- I got to do an episode of Creepshow.

Oh, like a reboot of Creepshow? Yeah. So I did one of the episodes and I played a writer who puts a hat on, and the hat is an alien monster that gets into my brain. Oh, this is awesome. But I had to stab at the hat once and I had a knife that had a tube on it. So I would press and blood would come out. Oh, I love it. Then I got sprayed in the face with a goop from a pressurized cannon situation.

That's awesome. It was great. Was your movie, Lock the Paddy-O- the patio door any any goop any gore? Yeah, we tried a little bit of blood at the end, but But you also were in one with Bruce Dern where he stabs you in the eye with a pen Yes, Bruce Dern stabs me that freaks actually freaks and that was that was was there blood in that He I Think there was a practical effect Was there blood in that? Or was it all CGI? I can't... he... I think there was a practical effect.

But also, that was the first time I was ever squibbed. So Bruce Dern stabs me in the eye with a pen. And then I run out and get shot by cops. And he was in a... It was so fun. And he was in a terrible mood. Yeah, you were worried he would really stab you.

I found out he was a a terrible mood. Yeah, you were worried he would really stab you. I was, because he was like, he was, I found out he was a, a method actor. And so he had to be mean in the scene. So he's being mean to everybody and being like really like upset. Right. That's part of his process, but also he might also just be a jerk. That's part of his process as well. And like, and then we were like left alone.

I was like a chef, a short order cook in a diner. And like, so they explain the scene and like what he's gonna do. They say, hey, I had to like hide the knife, but hide the pen, but like stab it towards my eye. Wow. And then like everyone left and I was like, you cool? The famous actor from the burbs. From the burbs. Rooster.

Did you, what was having a squib like? It was kind of terrifying because it's like, the thing they say is because it was all over my chest and they, it's like the number one thing you don't do is don't look down. But I have the type of brain, which is why like I can't go scuba diving. It's like just whatever you do, don't hold your breath.

Right. Or blowing glass. Whatever you do, don't inhale. And it's like, well, that's all I wanna do now. So I was very worried about looking down, but it was a lot of fun. It was actually hilarious. Yeah. To run out of a room and go, no, no, no, no.

And have like two huge stunt guys just open fire on you. Strange. It's a strange human experience. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love, oh man, someday, someday I'll get Squib. Great. It was good, it was good.

Like, do you feel it? Does it like, like pressure? I felt like a little bit. Was it like, don't look down? Cause your eyes. But like, don't look down cause we only have one take. We only have five squibs Maybe a little bit. I mean this was like it was it wasn't a huge budget film. Yeah

So got a cost. I don't think they wanted to do more than one sure. Yeah, so probably yeah We can get our money back on half these squibs The I do like a movie, you know your rob Robocops and whatnot, where they had unlimited squibs. Yeah, almost too many squibs. Yeah, they're like going off of like that. If you don't use all these squibs, we have to like put money back in the squib, like, you know, like when corporate accounts

have too much money at the end of the month. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We gotta figure this out till we get this many squibs next year. We have to use these squibs. Boy, have you ever had that situation? Where you get this many squibs next year. We have to use these squibs. Boy, have you ever had that situation? Have you had to use squibs? No, where you're in a job where they're like, well, we have too much money left in the budget

at the end of the year, so you're going to training and you have to go on a plane. That's right. We're having a big seminar for everyone in the department. Oh, I've never been on the receiving end. You? At CBC, it was always that way. It was like... We got to make this happen.

All right, Dave, get on a plane to Toronto where you're going to some stupid... We're hiring a consultant to show you a video. We're doing Battle of the Network Star, so we need you to be doing Javelin. You're doing deadlifts against Peter Mansbridge. Dave, go to Human Resources for the things you said. Well, this doesn't feel like it's the same thing. Anyway, so someone had a tweet about this movie, The Substance, that was like,

don't make this into a meaningful movie. Don't pretend this movie is saying something very important about culture. This is a fun B movie. It is a fun movie, but I think it had something to say about culture and beauty and age and all that kind of stuff. I thought it was good.

It could be both. I mean, often with horror movies, it's like that's a way into the fun, like that idea, that log line of like, this is what we're exploring. But then once you get down into the, it's like this now we're just going to goop everyone up. Yeah. I mean, honestly,

I'd be very surprised if it wasn't nominated at least for sound editing, because the sound editing is amazing. Probably a lot of mayonnaise used in the full way I think. A lot of what? A lot of real celery crunching. Yeah. Right. A lot of real like, you know, celery crunching. Yeah. Right.

And people are saying Demi Moore should get nominated for best actress. Yeah. I really liked the movie. Like I didn't like it. She's 61. I know she's playing 50. Yeah.

There's a line like once you're 50, you're done. I was like, she's not 50. I know 50 year olds. Yeah. Yeah. She's, she looks great. She's so good. And like at the very beginning where she's like, she's not 50, I know 50 year olds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's, looks great. She's so good. And like at the very beginning where she's like, I love hosting her show.

Yeah. Wow, this, I could see why they chose her to be a star. Oh, absolutely. She's a star, she's a star. And then, but I don't think she should be nominated because I don't think anyone should see this movie. Why? This movie was great.

I was like, oh yeah, the Oscars are just kind of like to promote the movies that already exist and I don't want anyone promoting this movie because I don't think people should see it. Dave and I are very much in opposite camps on this. I would, I, you know, I give it a good rating, but I don't think anyone should see it. I think everybody who's curious about it, go see it. See, in the theater because that's where the sound is gonna be like maximum surrounding you.

And you can also do like this in the movie theater, like my wife Sally did. Ah! Or like laughing something so crazy. Yeah, definitely there were parts where I was like, I know what's happening, but I have to cover my eyes. Oh wow, okay. The only downside to seeing in the theater

where I was sitting, there was a couple dudes that had a comment for everything, so I had to move to a completely different area of the theater. What were their comments? Whoa. Just, yeah, it was no, it's like. Gross.

You could tell that one of them had seen it before and was queuing up. Here's the part where it's gross. Yeah, yeah, pay attention for this. Oh my God, really? Yeah, he's good at this. That's the part where it's gross. Pay attention for this. Oh my God, really? Yeah, he's good at this. That's a substance. That's it, that's a substance.

That's a substance, there it is again. There was like a viral tweet years and years ago of a guy saying, going with his friend to the movie Chappy and just waiting for his, and go, that's true. Yeah, I know. Anyways, it was a lot of fun except for those two guys. Yeah, it was fun. I felt bad. You felt bad?

I felt empowered. There you go. Well, I can't wait to see it. And Dennis Quaid is in it. He's amazing, I felt empowered. There you go. Well, I can't wait to see it. And Dennis Quaid is in it. He's amazing in it. Love the Quaid. And he originally, it was gonna be Ray Liotta, but he passed away.

And so Dennis Quaid jumps in and he's got that creepy energy. He's got that real, yeah, adventurous energy. He's a Quaid after all. Yeah. He's a Quaid. And the young person that the substance allows Demi Moore to be.

Margaret Qualley. She's Andy McDowell's daughter. Neppo baby. She's got the smile. She's got that Andy McDowell smile. Neppo baby. Yeah, Neppo baby. Yes, Neppo baby. Really? Demi Moore probably,

she could have had a kid like, hey, throw them in for a scene or whatever. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Did she have more than one? Does she have a kid that's a model or something? I mean, the rumor Willis, what were their kids names? Rumor, Scout, I don't know what they're doing now.

Sniper. Scout, the last boy Scout. The last boy Scout, that's what they named her after. This is my kid Hudson Hawk. Isn't Ashton Kutcher one of her kids? No, that was her boyfriend. Were they married? Possibly. Maybe. They were very serious. Was Demi Moore's Twitter name Mrs. Kutcher or something? She's the draw in that relationship as far as I'm concerned. Mr. Moore. Mr. Who, I see.

Well, do you guys wanna move on to some business? Oh, I love business. Paperwork. Well, that sound means it's time for a little bit of business. And the business we like to take care of, little thing called the Jumbotron. Dave, what's a Jumbotron? A Jumbotron is a message that a person sends to another person.

And it says a thing about the message. The message, boy, the medium is the message, I guess. And when you want to real send a message, like to City Hall, this is how you can do it. To City Hall. Or to your bully or to your friend. And what you do is you do, well, follow this person's lead. This message is for Eden and it is from Robin.

And it's a birthday message for your B day. I wanted to get you that Japanese miracle drug that lets cats live to be 35. But I don't know if it's on the market yet. So I got you the next best thing. At JT, Jumbo Tron, from the best P casters around, podcasters, in the biz, Graham and Dave. Three questions for Graham and Dave.

Favorite Muppet? Great question. Gonzo. I think I'm a Kermit all the way down, but you know what, soft spot for Fozzie. If we're including the Muppet characters, Grover. Grover. Like the Muppet characters from Sesame Street.

Yeah, Sesame Street, yep. Favorite Paul Rubin's role, easy peasy. It's gotta be Peewee Herman, Dave. Boy, for me, it's gotta be him in, you know, he sent me a couple of Christmas cards because we work together. But probably him in Blow. Blow, he was really good in Blow.

Oh, you know what, him in 30 Rock. Yeah, thank you for coming to my booth. That's a little body work. Him as the Penguin's dad in Batman Forever or whatever. He was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oh yeah. So I have him in the theater. Does Dave still have the big jeans

from the Vancouver live episode? No, and I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, did we come out in big jeans? We came out in big jeans. Did I wear them the whole show? I think we did. Like, did you have them as well? Yeah, because we were doing,

we were making fun of Michael Jordan. Oh, Michael Jordan's giant jeans. But did you, why just does Dave have them? I don't know, maybe they thought they were close enough to my regular jeans. They were like, hey, Dave's doing a fun of mine. The grand giant jeans. Yeah.

Yeah. He's a raver. But you don't have these big jeans, I suppose. No. No. You had to donate it to somebody who did the, look how much weight I've lost, but then gained it back again. Well, no, the- Here's some big pants for you.

But the waist was the same as- Oh, yeah, they were- Because they were Michael Jordan style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were big. Anyways, happy birthday to Eden from Robin. And the message goes. If you would like a Jumbotron message like these folks, head over to maximumfun.org slash Jumbotron.

Shall we get to the overhoats? Yes. Say you like video games. And who doesn't? I mean, some people probably don't. Okay, but a lot of people do. So say you're one of those people and you feel like you don't really have anyone to talk to

about the games that you like. Well, you should get some better friends. Yes, you can get some better friends, but you could also listen to Triple Clay, a weekly podcast about video games hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton, me, Maddie Meyers, and me, Jason Schreier. We talk about new releases, old classics, industry news, and whatever really. We'll show you new things to love about games, and maybe even help you find new friends to talk to you about them. Triple click. It's kinda like we're your friends. Find us at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Throughout history, sirens have captured men's attention, enticed men with their feminine

wiles and fulfilled men's primal needs. The siren's allure persists. They have not. Unless the primal need is I need to be smashed on the rocks. Yeah, smash me. Smash me mommy. Smash me mommy. The siren's allure persists.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Strand me baby, strand me mommy. Strand me baby. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH The siren's a little... Why do we do this to ourselves? Strand me baby, strand me, baby. So yeah, this is my brother, my brother, me from Maximum Fun on Mondays. It's just like that. It's just like that, but more of it. There's more of that.

More of that. during the night. Yeah, who he steals his son's blood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He hurt his ankle. Shit. And it's like, well, looks like an old ass ankle to me. Yeah. Why did it make the news? Did he tell everyone, I hurt my ankle? He posted his like, let's see how long it takes for me to heal. Oh. It's kind of like, hey, I've got such good blood from my son.

Right. I fricking twist my ankle every day when I was a kid. Yeah. Overheard's a segment where, you know what what I think it's just fine that you hear it I think it's even better that you share it and we always like to start with the guest Ryan Have you overheard something hilarious? Yes. Um, this is from a few years ago. That's okay, right? Yeah Yeah, it involves my longtime partner Lily Bowdwane I really I really it's something she said when we were on a long hike.

And I was 100 yards ahead or so, a fair distance from the rest of the group, and we were kind of scrambling over rocks. And I heard from her in the distance, I heard like a little like kerfuffle, sounds like she fell. Oh shit. And then she went, I saved my own life. But I thought it was very sweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's nice to give yourself props. I saved my life. I think it was, I saved my life. Is this something you have quoted to her a hundred times? If I ever trip at all, I say I saved my life. I saved my life, yes. But she said it in all earnest, and she did save her life, and it was very safe.

How often are you hiking? We go on walks quite a bit, but this was actually a... We have friends who live on Hornby Island, and we walk around the entire island. Horny Island on this episode. Horny Island, yep. That's right. Horny Island. Horny Island, and we walk around... We've done it twice, where you walk around the entire

island. It's about 26 kilometers. How do you, what's the ferry to get out to this island? There's two, there's two, you have to take the ferry to, I guess Nanaimo, maybe, I don't know. You take one big ferry and then two little ferries. Two little ferries. Then go to Denman first, which I think Zach Galifianakis lives on Denman.

Well. I think he's got a little house on Denman. Blow up his spot. Yeah, exactly. Go find him. You know where he is? No, go find him. And then another little ferry to Horne, Horny Island. Yeah, exactly. Go find him. Yeah. You know where he is? No, go find him. And then another little ferry to Horn, Horny Island.

Horny Island. Oh yeah. Oh, God, I'd love to live on him. My brother's friend, Dave, his family had a place on Horby Island, so. There you go. Pretty good. There you go, pretty good, pretty good.

Dave, do you have an over-word? Yeah, well, it's un-overseen. Okay. I was in the grocery store the other day, not to blow up my spot, Safeway. Compliments. Yeah, compliments brand. That's where I get all my Parmesan, it's compliments brand Parmesan.

And actually, no, did they have, I think their fancy stuff is panache. Ooh, panache, compliments for the poor and panache for the rich. Yes. So I was in there, I was in the cereal aisle. And there was a guy and he didn't have a cart or anything. He didn't have a basket, but he was pulling, he had, in his arms, he had pulled out two things of Kellogg's All Brand Buds.

Okay. Two boxes and he was pulling more out. He's like, I gotta go. And he pulled a third and a fourth. And I was like, I can't just stare at this guy. So I just walked slowly just to see how many he ended up with. 10 boxes of all brand buds.

And then he raced back to the, like, it was like he, it was like he was, you know know when you're checking out with your mom and she's like, you stay here. I just have to pick up one thing and you're like, oh, what if they make me pay? He was rushing back because I think he had started his order, but oh, I forgot he had 10 boxes of all brand buds.

10 boxes? I got my prunes, I got my laxatives. Yeah, exactly. What's the, he runs a summer camp. He runs a restaurant. He runs a summer camp for old people. He's making the substance. Oh man, that's such a punishing cereal, all brand bugs.

I loved it. You loved all brand bugs? My parents would sometimes have it, and I would be like, let me try that. It's not bad. Makes the milk really brown. It It makes the milk really brown. It does make the milk really brown. It falls in like, it becomes one with the milk.

Sort of like the substance. You got one with the milk. You are one. That's right, that's right. Important rule. 10 boxes. 10 boxes. Have you ever bought like an off-brand cereal

that's trying to be like a name brand cereal? Yeah. My favorite is at more expensive markets, your Whole Foods and whatnot, they have one called Orangutanos. Well, I've seen them, yes. Orangutanos basically. There's also one called Gorilla Munch.

Orangutanos, are they Cheerios? Gorilla Munch is a character from Law and Order, right? Nice. Yeah. He unites all the worlds too. Yeah, he was the assistant DA. Gorilla Munch. Yeah, Orangutanos Cheerios?

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, like a Honey Nut Cheerio. Oh, it's a Honey-up-a-no. Yeah. Graham, do you have an overheard? I do, and it comes from last night at this movie After the movie. Did you see the movie last night? Cuz you're like, they've seen it. We gotta talk about it. Of course! Didn't we just record it? Of course!

I gotta do something this afternoon to talk about. Yeah, by the way, we're recording tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, I know something this afternoon to talk about. Yeah, oh, by the way, we're recording tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Cool. I gotta get, I gotta work something crazy today. Saturday Night Live movie for one. I gotta go.

But this was in the, this is courtesy of Sally. She was in the women's washroom and she heard two younger women talking and one of them said, I love him and everything he does. I've only seen him in the parent trap and this. Dennis Quaid. Dennis Quaid.

What a huge gulf of a, sort of like you've never encountered him except the parent trap. Yeah, the parent trap. I mean, I honestly, if I tried to think of other Dennis Quaid movies, I think I'd come up short. I would come up short too, but I know that there's a bunch in there.

Oh, yeah. I haven't seen Great Balls of Fire, but that was like his big. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Jerry Lee Lewis. Yeah. And that was another writer? Yeah, as his cousin. Cousin, cousin Greg.

And- Cousin Greg. Inner space, I saw inner space. Is that where they shrink down? No, they shrink Martin Short down. No, they go into Martin Short's body. No, yes. Martin Short, yeah, it's an Osmosis Jones situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What we've got here is a classic Osmosis Jones situation. They shrink him down. Yeah, we watched that, That was a very popular movie. Me and my brother would rent from VHS store. I feel like a hungover biology teacher would show that. Yes. That's the heart. Yeah, yeah.

Just see, write down how many parts you see in the film. Yeah, and how inner the space is. Just pulling up his movies, wow. He's made a lot of these like, what look like sort of, like he's in a movie called American Underdog. That looks like a fake poster from like 30 Rockers. And he is, he's the Ronald Reagan in the new Ronald. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He was in strays too? Apparently. He's in A Dog's Purpose, which looks very sad. He's in movie 44. Oh, dogs. They got in trouble, right? They did? Remember that was a thing, like there was like dogs were being hurt on set, but then

it turned out to be sort of a, they were fine. Oh, no, I just remember seeing the trailer in the movie theater. They were playing dead? He is- Like this looks way too sad. He's Bill Clinton in the special relationship. So he's played two presidents. Wow.

Oh. Both sides of the aisle. And that was a movie where Michael Sheen played Tony Blair, which he had previously played in the crown, the queen. And not Frostman. The queen, yeah. And that would be very funny if he just got typecast as Tony Blair.

Yeah. It's the only roles he was bringing brought up. Yeah. Yeah, and that would be very funny if he just got typecast as Tony Blair. It's the only roles he was bringing out. The whale's gonna go dry eventually. I mean, yeah, times are great now. He's in the rookie, Disney's the rookie, which looks a lot like American underdog. He's in the day after tomorrow. Right, he's in the day after tomorrow. Yes. There was a... There was a... nevermind, who cares? Yeah.

Anyways, it's been in two films at least. Yeah. It's two finest. Now we also have Overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. If you wanna send one in, send it in to sbyatmaximumfun.org. This is Jay from the UK, Jay from the UK.

Two older gentlemen at a pub, one said to the other, I've always had a sweet tooth, biscuits for me, chocolate biscuits, but lately I've moved onto the hard stuff. I'm talking chocolate, straight chocolate. Yeah. That's nice. We talked last week about British people and their sweets.

Did we? Yeah, you're talking. We talked last week about British people and their sweets. Did we? Yeah, you're talking about in the Iron Lady where she's offering sweetie. They've always got like a white paper bag of candy. And I guess also based on when this episode comes out, we should say a belated happy Guy Fawkes Day to all the people.

Oh yeah. And happy birthday to a regular guest, Erica Sigurdsson on- Guy Fawkes Day? Guy Fawkes Day. On Remembrance Day. No, no, no. Oh God, if you have a birthday on Remembrance Day,

it's like having your birthday on- Forget about it, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And to all of our British listeners, you know, go to Tesco. Yeah, check out Tesco. I love Tesco. Tesco's got great sandwiches.

Yeah. Remade. Oh yeah, well if you want a sandwich, you gotta go to Pratt. You gotta go to Pratt. What's the one that we get with an S? Sainsbury's? Sainsbury's. Yeah, more of a Sainsbury's.

Also Marks and Sparks has got some pretty good sandwiches. Yeah, oh, and you go to Greg's got a couple sausage rolls. The British really do sandwiches and sausage rolls and that kind of stuff. Really well pot pie. They do. I made a homemade chicken pot pie last night. Did you? Did you make it on a cup?

I made it in a pan. I made it with a pan. There was no bottom to the pie, but then you're on your own. You've been on you've just put a puff pastry lid on top. bottom to the pie, but then you're on your own. You've been on you just put a puff pastry lid on top. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, then you're fine. Yeah And a skillet more than a pan This does what comes from Bart from Las Vegas a couple No, well temple. He wrote in I only picked one

Where's my six-year-old daughter on her second last day of kindergarten How is your day? Well, I didn't make any friends quieter to self and I made two enemies On the second last day of kindergarten you should you've made all the friends you're gonna make You've done all you can No second day of kindergarten, oh Maybe I heard wrong. I also that reminds me of the math. Cosmo. Yes, for mention cause Cosmo. He said, when I was there, somebody Mark said, Do you have a good night hug for everybody? cuz all that hugs But you know what yeah lucky you and it's the end of the month and if I don't use all these kisses up

Corp is gonna have my ass That is so Much rather hug a person a room full person. A room full of adults? Well, okay, who needs kisses? Yeah. Yeah, imagine like a 30-year-old guy saying that. All right, well, I guess Matthew's only got kisses left. Everybody's standing line.

Yeah, you get to a dinner party and someone's like, oh, it's like, oh, no, no, no, no, sorry, I'll let her hug. Santa Claus is like, oh, okay, but I got a lot of kisses. Or did you bring anything for dinner? Kisses. Or like meeting someone, like hanging out with a friend for the first time after COVID lockdown. What are we doing, the elbow tap?

No, I'm kissing. Yeah, we're kissing. Actually, I'm kissing. You're going all the way in? I'm doing lips. This last one comes from Julia in Nanaimo. My friend was telling me about Acute Interactions. It's another kid, say the darndest.

Yes. With her three-year-old son the other day, mom a cuter interactions, it's another, kids say the darndest, with her three year old son the other day, mom calling to her son, where are you Arlo? Son calling from somewhere in the house, slightly scared. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. Poor Arlo. Poor Arlo, Arlo, oh no. Oh no, Arlo. What did you find now? What dimensions are you between? Yeah, yeah. What did you find now? What dimensions are you between? Yeah, yeah, where did you find it? A few weeks ago, I was telling my kids about,

they're asking about the house I grew up in, and I was telling them about it, and I was trying to kind of reconstruct it in my head, and there were places missing. Oh, that way you're like, I'm not sure what that was. Like, where did we do laundry? And like, how did we get to the basement? Where were the stairs to the basement?

I know the layout of the basement and the main floor, but how did we get there? You have a dumb waiter that you went down every time? Or a chute. We had a laundry chute. Oh, really? But where did it go? Out to the dumpster.

It's funny, my dad had like a woodworking shop. Oh yeah? And then we moved and never worked wood again. Gave it up with the move. I guess so. Or it was a front. Oh yeah, it was probably a front. Probably a front.

For a wood chip business. I remember he once made me a little gun, made of wood. So cute. Here son, is a little gun. Now go in the forest and shoot. This is the trigger. Point it at other humans like this. And I remember I played with it, I loved it,

I loved my little wooden gun, I threw it up in the air, it broke or it landed. Oh no. Oh well. And I told my dad about it and he was like, I never made you a wooden cutting. Don't you see? Interesting.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you wanna call us, our phone number is do not interrupt or mean one eight four four seven seven nine seven six three one, that's one. Ugh, Spy Pod one like these people have. Did you have a favorite toy gun when you were... We had a lot of cap guns.

We had like a couple pretend ivory handled cap guns. I had the same white handles. They eventually turned yellow, the handles, because they were plastic. Too much. I mean, yeah. They're a thing made from the same thing old Nintendos were made from. But they lasted long enough to discolor you. That's a much. I mean, yeah. They're a thing made from the same thing old Nintendo's were made from. But they lasted long enough to discolor you. That's a good toy.

Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, the, what do you call it? The drawer, the handle, the cabinet door where you would load the stuff. Eventually, we sort of almost fell off. Cap, paper caps or the little circles of? Paper caps. Oh, I had circles. The revolver ones. Oh, man, I gotta get my hands on some caps. The smell of caps. Oh, I had circles. The revolver ones.

Oh man, I gotta get my hands on the caps. The smell of caps, oh, it's so good. I miss it. It's just gunpowder, right? Yeah, I think if you go to the park on Halloween, you will smell that smell quite a bit. Ooh, that smell. All right, here we go. Hi, Dave Graham and Wonderful Ghost. Oh that smell

And wonderful ghost I think that's what you said or October This is chaos from Indiana calling in with an overheard About a month ago is that the county fair with my wife. There's a young couple walking behind us my late teens early 20s and the girl said, or the guy says, you know, I told you when we started dating that I was a picky eater, and the girl said, I just can't believe he's never had a a picky eater, that's what you give them. That's exactly, yeah. What do you mean you don't have noodles with butter? I told you I'm a picky eater. Yeah, the kid that like that's what they're picky about is like, no, no, no bagel, no.

No, I need a beef Wellington. Maybe some broccolini. What do you mean you've never had white bread? Too spicy. Oh yeah, never having a grilled cheese. If you call that living. For me. Yeah, like go to the county fair.

And like that's where they just have crazy food. Oh yeah. Nuts. Yeah, oh exactly. What's this guy eating that, never had a grilled cheese, I mean, how is that even possible? Like you've never had two pieces of bread with some sort of melty cheese in there. Let's give some maybe cultural,

maybe these aren't white people. Mm, true, but still, they were at a county fair. You know, if I grew up on a different continent where they didn't give kids grilled cheese every meal. Well. Yeah, yeah, good point. If you call that living, that's what I say. Graham comes out against the world. The continent Dave won't name.

Hi Dave and Graham and probable guests. This is Leslie. I live outside St. Louis, but I'm calling this in. It's my sister's overheard and she lived in San Diego. She's also a long-time listener, but a little shy, so I'm calling it in. She was taking a walk along the beach near the water and she saw like a 16 or 17 year old girl out on like a jet ski with her younger brother, just having a great time. And as she was watching them, the girl got close enough in to land

to yell to her family, I don't need to fare at me anymore. So that was a jet ski that was worth the price. Yeah, real breakthrough. Yeah. Oh yeah. Doctor, this will be our last appointment because I discovered jet skis. Going to the pharmacy with a prescription for a jet ski.

They got them. They got them. You know what? Riding on a jet ski, it is pretty awesome. I've never done it, but I've been on, you know, a big inflatable thing pulled behind a speedboat. Yeah, kinda like when you get on the jet ski and you're jumping over a wake. Yeah, and you're controlling, you got the throttle there.

Yeah. That's kinda cool. Like motorcycle without all the falling down and breaking your bones. Exactly. Yeah, just skidding along the water and maybe breaking one bone. Yeah, just skidding along the water and maybe breaking one bone. Yeah. And I think when I was a kid, you're supposed to hold onto handles on the side

if you were two people on it. Yeah. Put my arms around my friend's waist. You gotta put your arms around your friend's waist. I can't hold these handles, that's no good. I won't put my arms around my friend's waist, I'm all out of hugs. No, that's right.

But he got unchanged though. Hey Dave, Graham and possible guests. This is Tommy from Cincinnati with an overheard. A little while ago, I was at an improv show and before the show in the lobby, I heard a guy talking to a lady say, no, no, still puppets, just on my own now. That's it and off I go.

Still in your puppet troupe? So what's this new thing you're doing? No puppets anymore? You're not doing that puppet thing. No, no, still puppets. Yeah, no, still puppets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, your honor, still puppets. I was kicked out of the puppet troupe, but I'm starting my new thing.

Somebody told me... Now I'm impersonating Andy Copp. Somebody said, and this is something that caught me off guard years and years ago when somebody told me that Toronto had a really good clown scene. I've recently been told Toronto has a really good puppet scene. Really? Also Montreal apparently has a very good puppet scene. Oh, well that should come as no surprise.

Yeah, exactly. The land of Victor. They love their puppets out there. I don't think he's a puppet. No, but he could be. He could be a puppet. He could make anything into a puppet. I wonder if Victor made the leap from the old company to the new company, or is he just... Just for laughs. Yeah, just for laughs. Is he just chattel? That's the green guy we're talking? Yeah.

Okay, I didn't know he had a name. Victor? Victor. I think he was the reason they shut down. Yeah, he demanded too much money. He made some bad investments. Or didn't they get like scammed? He took some kind of substance. They got scammed to the tune of $800,000. Wow, that's a scam.

That's it? That's all it takes to go out of business? No, they also, there was just a lot of bad business decisions, but. They made a red Victor. They made a red Victor, which I remember was the mascot when Just For Laughs came through Calgary and it was presented by Craven A Cigarettes.

Oh nice. The red Victor. Oh yeah, well you always want to get the red cigarette. The blue cigarettes are bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, red cigarettes are hot. I wish cigarette companies were still allowed to fund the arts. Yeah.

They had so much money. Was it Bents and the Hedges, the celebration of light? Yeah, yeah. Well, Graham, I don't really think fireworks are the arts. Disagree. Yeah. Talk to anybody who's on one of the fireworks, Steve. They're often sort of... Synced up to music? Music was not at all, really.

I guess this is synced up to Simply the Best by Tina Turner. I mean, they're nonstop explosions, I guess some of them kind of synch dip. Look, they cool. They cool. They cool, they cool. Ryan, thank you so much for being here. Oh man, I miss when Campbell's the Arts

could sponsor Formula One racing. The arts. Yeah, the arts. Your new podcast. The Town Show, available wherever you get your podcasts. Like you said, all sorts of guests from this podcast that people would remember and love. Absolutely.

If you love this, why not love that? Do you have any guests who haven't been on this show? I think probably no. Okay. I think no. It's a good sample. I think we're like, yeah, just ripping you guys off. That's cool. It's a good sample. I think we're kind of like, yeah, like just ripping you guys off.

That's cool. We don't own anyone. No. Yeah. And each and every Sunday here in Vancouver, Fox Cabaret. Yeah. If you're watching the Hallmark Channel this Christmas, you can see me in a movie called The Santa Class.

Santa Class, okay. You play? A hippie Santa. Nice. the Santa class Santa class okay you play a hippie Santa nice and if you if you like Percy Jackson I'll be in the new season of Percy Jackson on Disney Plus and that's me are you one of the lightning thieves nope I can't tell you what I am or what I am not okay I don't know I don't know anything about it I just don't know what I'm allowed to say so you're one of the Olympians I can't tell you what I am or what I am not. Okay. I don't know I don't know anything

I don't know what I'm allowed to say. So you're one of the Olympians. I can't tell you He's sworn to secrecy. I'm desperate to say no, but we know he's not Percy Jackson Show for kids I Liked it but the Percy Jackson was so old. So I gave him the substance. Anyways, thank you for being here. Thank you. Everyone out there, take the substance. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Thank you for listening. If you have an ability to take the substance, do it. But remember, you're all one. You're all one. You're all of you? You're all of you one. And thank you for listening. Come on back next week for're all of you? You're all of you one. And thank you for listening. Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting.

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