Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 870 - Kerri Donaldson

Episode Date: November 19, 2024

Improviser Kerri Donaldson returns to talk Gru’s wife, bagpipes, and mallwalking. Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 870 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is, he's not a fair weather friend, he's a bad weather friend. And Mr. Dave Schoenke, oh it's so rainy here, isn't it? Yeah, I guess it is.

Um, yeah, no, I'm a bad weather friend for sure. Yeah, you're the friend you want in bad weather. Yeah, I guess that's a good thing. Yeah, like when Stormy Skies, people are gonna look towards Dave Shumka. Stormy Skies is my, how do you say it? My adult entertainer name.

But that just means he's an adult entertainer. Yeah, yeah, I mean like, Like Billy Joel. Yeah, exactly. Or Corinne Bailey-Rey. Yes, the two bigs. Anyone who's had their CD sold at Starbucks is an adult entertainer. Oh boy, who's the one I'm thinking of? Nora Jones. Nora Jones, number one with a bullet. I'm thinking of one more, but could it be Kobe Kaie? Oh, it could be, absolutely. Or could it be, ugh, who did Sonny Came Home?

Oh, Kate, not Katie Tunstall. No, it's not Katie Tunstall. It is, ugh. You know? I don't know. Okay. I was gonna say Meredith Brooks, but that's not. No, she's a bitch. She's a bitch. She's a bitch.

She did my anthem. This voice you're hearing is our guest, Sean Colvin. Sean Colvin. Oh, I never heard of him. Sunny came home with a vengeance? Is that Sean Colvin? Yeah, I mean, Sunny came home, I don't know. Oh, she came home with a vengeance,

I can guarantee you that. Was Sunny a she? Oh, it was Sunny Bono. Oh boy. I know. They spelled it differently in the song. I know. For legal reasons.

Okay. This is a returning guest to the podcast. Very funny comedian, writer at large, one half of brunch comedy with past guest, Allie Entwistle. It's Kerry Donaldson. Hello. Hey.

Hey. Oh, so nice. Thanks for coming back. Thanks? Well, thanks for having me back. Yeah. Last time was a disaster, but we feel like this time we're really gonna nail it.

And I apologize. You guys got the fruit baskets. Yes. I've changed. Mostly figs, if I recall. Most heavy on the figs. What is your absolute like bottom of the barrel of the fruit basket?

Wow. I actually told you not to ask me this question and I thought we were gonna go there, but push comes to shove and I have to eat it for some reason. Yeah. No, I mean, bottom of the barrel, you don't have to eat, right?

Not on a barrel, but I'm eating fruit out of a barrel. And now this is the only fruit that remains and I'm compelled to eat. This is a fruit barrel. The fruit barrel. Probably a classic, yes. We all know what a fruit barrel is. We all have that.

So sorry for your loss. But I guess it's gonna be, I don't care. I love fruit, but I don't like- What are the basket fruit? They're melons. There's- Melon I would have said. You would have said melon at the bottom. A waste of-

All three melons? All three, is there three melons? I mean, there's actually, I think at one time we looked up all the melons. Yeah, there's a lot of melons? All three? Is there three melons? I mean, there's actually, I think at one time we looked up all the melons. Yeah, there's a lot of melons. There's melons. There's dozens of melons. There's cassava.

Cassava. It's my daughter's name. Oh yeah. How's she doing? It's my adult daughter's name. She's in grade four now? She's four, grade four. You know, her heat track.

The big ones are watermelon, cantaloupe, and honeydew. Yes. Do you have a bottom of all of those three? I would say in this order from least enjoyable melon to most delightful melon. Oh, so we're counting down to the top three. It's like a, these are the top melons. We're going there. We're going there. We're going there. In at number three, the worst melon.

Here it is. You voted, it's honeydew. Honeydew, yeah, I agree with that. You know, it's a honey don't for me. That's why you're right. I mean, this is good stuff. I only have honeydew material though, so it's crazy that it came out. Okay, so let's see what you can do with cantaloupe, go.

At number two, it's shantaloupe. Yeah, yes. Because I'd rather marry number one, which is watermelon. Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon. Absolutely. The grapes, I feel like. Yeah, grapes for sure.

Grape's the bottom barrel for me. Really? I love a grape. I love a cold grape right out of the fridge, but in a basket. Oh, I've just got back involved with grapes. Grapes and I took some time away from each other. Do you have a color of grape you prefer?

I'm just traditional old green. Green. Yeah. Well, I mean the- Cheapo green grapes. The red purpley ones are just as traditional as- I know, but who's got red grape money? Sometimes you go to eat a red grape and you remember that you're in an old-fashioned Italian restaurant and it's a red grape and you remember that you're in an old fashioned Italian restaurant

and it's a plastic grape on the table. It's a decorative rubbery grape. But it's already in your mouth. So you're just gonna chew it for days. Yeah. Oh, God. Imagine. Should we get to know us?

Yeah. Yeah. Get to know us. Gary, the last time you were here, it was... I'll tell you the exact date. Dave knows it. December 2nd, 2019. Now we all know December 2nd, whose birthday?

Jesus Christ. Britney Spears. Britney Spears' birthday comes around every year. Do we think this whole Free Britney movement was a mistake? We should keep her... We never should have freed her. Yeah, that.

Put her back. Put her back. We're actually good, sorry. Yeah. Just shoe her back in. In you go. Do you remember what December 2019 looked like for you? I sure can.

I, you know, it's, it's hazy. I think the words like naive optimism maybe. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Was probably prevalent in my life. I probably didn't have bangs. Okay, that's interesting. Oh my god, that is, well if you look at-

So that's a time marker. Yeah. If you look at the episode description. Does it mention? It says comedian Kerry Donaldson's here to discuss bangs. No, I swear there's more in my life. I've, more has gone on in my life. Okay. It won't just be about bangs. No, I swear there's more in my life. More has gone on in my life.

It won't just be about bangs. I think we maybe had a long talk about how bangs for a woman, they indicate a big life change. It's like getting tribal tattoos for men. That's how you know something big's going on. That's why, you know, stuff's been going on with Mike Tyson for years. The signs are we're all there.

Now, the time of this episode on with Mike Tyson for years. The signs are we're all there. Now the time of this episode out, Mike Tyson have fight? Yeah, maybe. This episode out the 19th of November. I saw an old video of him where he was exercising his neck. So his neck when he was a young man was the same size of his head. So it was just like a one tube.

There was no contour. And I don't understand why. I mean, I guess. If you're getting punched in the face. Yeah, and I guess you don't want a little wiggly neck on the top of a. Yeah, you don't want a bobble head. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not gonna. But like, have you ever thought about exercising your neck? No, my neck's too big. Oh, that's true. Opposite problem. Thanks, Walt. No, it neck's too big. Oh, that's true. Opposite problem. Thanks, Walt. It's bad for shirts. Yeah.

So you're right. Sure, yeah, I'll follow that. Like button up shirts. I can't, you know, if I ever want to wear a necktie, I gotta get a special shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about turtleneck? Turtleneck, I'm-

Slimming? I've never done turtleneck. I feel like you're a turtleneck person, yes? I definitely, and it's turtleneck, I'm- Slimming? I've never done turtleneck. What? I feel like you're a turtleneck person, yes? I definitely, and it's turtleneck season. I don't know if you guys know that. Yeah, I'll rock a turtleneck every day. Just standard black or do you have colors of the rainbow?

I stick to black. I have one heavily patterned one. Okay. Which is for special occasions, obviously, but I love a classic black. It just instantly gives you some kind of. It's elegant. It's elegant.

A black cradle neck is very. Poetic. European. Yes. Yeah, or Steve Jobs yet. It's very, yeah. Yes, with a pair of like denims. Yeah, you can easily take that from Steve Jobs tonight.

Take that, yeah. Take that. From the keynote. Yeah, you know. To tonight. It's the range. Yeah, do you just just black turtleneck? You put on a coat, you put on a scarf. I guess not a scarf.

Yeah, not a scarf, yeah, that's over, Gil. That will elicit questions, yeah. Well, that's very, turtleneck and scarf, I think is very, grew. Oh, yeah, that's right. Which is very interesting because recently, this is something new that's happened to me. This past year, I did randomly go viral.

Oh. One? Yeah, and the entire internet has deemed me a classic lookalike. I don't know why I'm admitting this. That's fine. Now, but- Well, the internet knows. You will find it.

We should know too, holy fair. Yeah, and I'll give you context for why. Okay. But they all think I look like Gru's wife. Gru's wife. Okay. As soon as you said look alike and we had talked about Gru, I was going through the Rolodex.

Well, you're not a minion. Yeah, I was like, you're not definitely not a minion. And thank you for saying, oh yeah, I see the Gru in you. You're not, hmm. You're not. I'm leaving. Vector. So did you put yourself out there as looking like this person?

No. Or you were just in a video or something and somebody said, how did this go viral? Yeah, it was through one of the many improv groups I'm known to be a part of, Treat Show, shout out. And we have a very young member of Treat Show who's been, you know, very active on the socials, trying out some stuff. And she filmed everybody's reaction to,

Devin McKenzie had dyed his hair. Nothing so dramatic, but it went blonde and he didn't tell us. So, and I was- Feels like something he'd send a memo out. He didn't tell you? I know, not even a phone call. Or like even a warning, like,

hey, I'm thinking of going blonde, talk me out of it. Talk me out of it, yeah, exactly. So, you know, there's that to look into. But I showed up, I was, we meet. Talk me out of it, yeah, exactly. So there's that to look into, but I showed up, we meet up a little bit early before the show, I was a little bit late, and so they all guessed how I would react. Okay, oh sure.

Which I'm like, I don't know if I do big reactions or anything, but- I think I did see this video. Yeah, oh, there you go. But truly, yeah, they just, you you know, subtle reactions and then I come through and I just am like, oh, you know, very normal, okay? But for some reason it took off like a rocket ship. I think we were at 10 million views or something stupid.

And people are saying, is it? Yes, and there was two things that were dividing the comment section. One of them was that I looked like Gru's wife. Okay. And there was literally a number now because the amount of people who liked it was in the thousands.

Uh-huh. Okay. Which is never a great feeling when you can quantify that. I like it on social media when people will make like the heart button, they'll be like, they'll make an arrow to that heart button and they'll say, looks like Gru's wife button. Yeah. So anyone who agrees with that.

Exactly, like there's like, I think there's a census for how many people in the world thought I looked like this and it's compelling. But, and then the other one was funnily enough, my BFF slash brunch other half, Ali decided to make a choice in this video. She kind of did an over the top insane reaction. So everyone was guessing how you were gonna react.

What I would do when I walked through the door. And why, good question. Why are you the one they care? Yeah, are you a high maintenance? They just knew you'd be there last? I think they were a part of me because I was late and fair enough. And for the listeners, she was also late to them.

Okay, well that's not pertinent. We'll post our video for a reaction. Their reaction to my reaction too. But yeah, I have no idea why it was me. I think it was because I was the last one there. Now, do you have a twin? I do. Did we talk about that last time?

I don't know. Does she look like Gru's wife? Yeah, does she look like Gru's wife? She looks like Gru. Oh shit. Heyo. That's one of those couples that you're like, are they siblings or?

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Is Gru's wife Kirsten Wigg? I wanna say it is. Yeah, yeah, boy spy. Boy spy, sure. But I hold onto that. I cling to that as a reason.

I'm like, for some reason, they're thinking I channeled that energy and therefore. Yeah, there's a woman who, longtime guest of the podcast named Amanda Burke Perrin, and she looked exactly like a character from the cartoon Recess. Oh. Because she had glasses and red hair that she put them in,

pigtails. Everybody's like, exact replica of this character. Honestly, I think it is very much a redhead thing or like a ginger thing. Cause I think it's just like, it's so cartoonish sometimes that, and a lot of cartoons have red hair.

So it's- No, Amanda Brooke Perrin, not as red as like flaming red as your hair. Yeah. Wow. Look at you choosing your words. You're like, how do I say it? No, I'm wondering like, is there is there among redheads?

Is there like, oh, okay, she's technically a redhead, but it's darkened over the years. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, is there a You said a ginger. Is a ginger different than a regular redhead? Oh no. Now all the redheads are gonna come for me if I'm speaking for them, but here I go.

I think there's so much nuance that is gonna get heated. I think ginger is different from like an auburn and a redhead. I think redhead is the catchall term, but I think there's a lot of like dyed red hair that, and a lot of people who have dyed red hair, who I would classify as a ginger, but not all redhead dyed hair people.

There are people I know who don't have dyed, have natural like auburn hair, and they talk about themselves having red hair and I don't, and I am shocked when I hear it. Yeah. I'm like, oh, you're a redheaded? I didn't know that. I didn't know.

My nephew as a little, little tiny baby toddler, reddest hair ever could be. I remember we were gonna meet up with him, my wife and I and their family were meeting up and there was a big crowd because it was Remembrance Day. I was like, how are we ever gonna find them? Like we're just standing in the middle of the field, miles away, there he is.

There he is. Like a little torch. Got him. Yeah, but he's already gone a lot darker. Now it's like, it's almost like accents of red now. It's so crazy, it changes so quickly. Like even as a baby, I had like blonde hair and then it went red.

And like, to be fair, like I've, you can like lighten or darken it, but it lightens over time. It turns white. That's the other thing. It doesn't turn gray, it turns white. That hair turns white. Isn't that cool?

That's ginger facts. But I don't know if my- You're live on ginger facts? Ginger facts. I don't know if my hair turns white or gray. Right now it's doing a gray. It's doing a gray, but is it just gray because it's white mixed with dark?

Oh, a little salt and pepper. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think. Like, I don't think, I don't, I mean, you never pluck one hair, I'm like, this one's gray. Yeah. Maybe you don't.

Yeah. I guess I'm not plucking my grays, obviously. Otherwise I'd be bald. Just patches. You good? Dave, I noticed your temples are bald. So? I just pluck as they come.

Jealous. It's an old wives tale. There's an age where I feel like, and I don't, it's different for every person, where going really dark with the dye is so obvious. Like, years ago I did a thing for Just For Men beard dye, and they said, the people there, they're like, the number one problem with our product,

nobody knows how to use it, they always go too dark. No matter what, always way too dark, like jet, you know when you see like some jet black hair? I do know. Yeah. There's a guy in the neighborhood who's got, he's like, he reminds me of, boy, the band Sha Na Na. Wow, never a good sign.

They're like a throwback to the 50s kind of thing. So he's got like sideburns and a pompadour. I like that. And like walks around with like a varsity jacket. He's like a 50s teenager, but he's in his 60s probably. I kinda like that. I like that. And like walks around with like a varsity jacket. He's like a fifties teenager, but he's in his sixties probably. I kind of like that. Live for that.

And just the darkest. But like, you know, I'm watching the Sopranos for the first time. For the first time? Yeah. And Polly Walnuts, he's got dark hair, but then he's got those sides, and that kind of saves it, right?

Really does. Saves it. Well, you know, then he would look too old to have that. Oh, because he does have the dark on top? Yeah. You think that's died? Yeah, I think so. I think it's all calculated.

Okay. But I love it. I never thought of that. I thought, I always thought of him as like, just, you know, gray at the temples and dark on top. Yeah, well, maybe. Yeah. I mean, I would ask him, but.

How far are you into the Pranos? Where was the last thing that I saw? Give me a season. Oh, second season. Give me one season to start here. The mother has passed. Mother's passed. And they did a terrible CG for her last scene.

I'm tired now. I was very anticlimactic. I remember that. Yeah. Oh, she was my favorite too. Yeah, I think they could have done it somehow else. Yeah, it was good. She was a good. She was great.

She was great. It was the... Janice is hilarious. I think people forget how terrible like a character she was. Like in terms of like, who's the little kid from Game of Thrones that everyone hated? Little Peter Fringalong. Little Peter Fringalong.

As like the most like frustrating character ever to watch, I think she's up there. Yeah, oh, I mean, I like sometimes a website or something we'll put out like on Father's Day, worst dads and you know, Darth Vader's on it. What do you, who do you think, okay. Worst dad, go. On TV?

Yeah, in your popular fictional character, yeah. Fictional character, good. Oh, not real picture. I'd go with Dave Shumko. No, Dave. Oh. That's what the kids are saying. Oh, your kids specifically.

Mm-hmm. Worst dad, worst dad. Where's dad? Where's dad? Where's dad? Um, Mufasa for abandoning his child. Wow. Hot take, hot take. Yeah, I think all the Disney dads died, didn't they? Yeah, yeah, the good ones. The good ones. The moms too, actually.

I mean, for sure, you're Darth Vader. He's up to no good, right? Dad Vader was a bit of an absentee dad. Did you call him Dad Vader? Didn't I, though? Yes, you did. Well, you know who else? Jack Torrance from The Shining.

Oh, yeah. Hard to find a meaner dad than that. That's true. Yeah. I watched that again the other day. Yeah, and? So good. The drink that he gets at the bar

is like one of the best looking drinks in film. The bourbon on the rocks? But it's like on this light, the bar, like it's got a light on it. And it's just- Did you notice when you saw the substance, the references? Yes, I did.

Carpet? The carpet is very similar. Have you seen the substance, the references? Yes, I did. Oh. The carpet is very similar. Have you seen the substance or the Shining? I have seen the Shining. Oh, I haven't seen the substance. It's, oh, you gotta see it. Yeah. Okay, I know, I know.

I was like, oh, wait. I just said last week, nobody should see it. Oh, okay. But I disagree. Except for me. And then the bathroom is very similar. Yes. There's a white and red bathroom.

And also the scene where he kisses the beautiful young woman and she turns into the decomposing old woman. Yeah, scary. That's very substance-y. Yeah. And then there's the, you see a glimpse of like the bear costume guy.

Yeah. Apparently there was a whole storyline that they filmed for that and they cut it all out and they just left that one thing in as they're like, isn't this weird? Oh. And the old woman apparently in the book has like a backstory of like she's sleeping with bell boys

and has like, that's her, why she's haunting the hotel as a sexy lady. Did you read the book? No. No. Did you? No, I don't read. Yeah, there we go. Famous. Yeah, you read the book? No. No. Did you? No, I don't read. Yeah, there we go.

Take that. Yeah, I read the books. I work in print, but I don't read. I was like, I like this movie a lot. I watch it every year. Maybe I should read it and then I, oh, 672 pages. Nothing. I'll rent.

That's a renter. You said you're a writer. I am. And you're a writer. I am. And you're writing for past guest, Stacey McLaughlin's magazine that she's the editor in chief of. She's basically our print overlord. It's just beautiful. Vancouver magazine.

Yes. And everyone can get a free subscription. Yes. You can and it'll go right to your door. Have it right, it's coming to my door. Okay, what's faster than that? Got the gift guide in the most recent episode. Yeah!

We're just talking about it. Who, there were people that were like- Should see a lot of, yeah. There were a lot of familiar faces of like, here's what I'm buying at Christmas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't tell you a single one of them. Mark Griesen from CTV Weather.

Now you're, what is your position? Are you a reporter? Are you a copy editor? What do you do? Oh interesting. Columnist. Columnist, oh wow. I'm, technically my title is assistant editor,

but I'm just an editor. Okay. Which I guess is a casual. I'm just a lowly editor. But that doesn't mean you edit, it means you write. Exactly, but sometimes I can edit. Sure. But I'm not technically the person editing everything. Right, and by editing, are you looking for typos

or are you? I'm, yeah, it's less the content, the subject or anything and more just like little, like you have to be so attention to detail in print. Like you have to think about it in terms of like such precision, such like even like the different like we don't use Oxford commas and I keep using them and suddenly I've got this like complex now about them and exclamation points. Why not? Why not the Oxford Comma? I don't know, they're tedious. They're pointless.

I like them. Cause I like the end. The end kind of signifies the end of the list. But what if the list is very short and it gets kind of confusing without the comma? See, the comma calms the confusion. Okay, well that's not true either. Okay, well that's actually a sound bite

that I'm gonna use. The comma coms. The exclamation point overused, I would say. Yeah, I'm an overuser of that. Me too, because it's an emotional. I think it's a bit of a people pleasing, I'll be honest. There's a difference between sure and juror.

Right? Yeah. Yeah, do you do the thing where you're very, in email you're very- Oh my God, yeah. Exclamation-y? Yeah. So these people know that I'm fun?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I need to convey that. I'm not mad right now? Yeah. Like that's- But if you were mad, yeah, no, I mean, you'd have to probably do a double to show that. That's when you do caps.

That's the caps. Yeah. Well, there is like a- Only extremes in email. And apparently there are different ways the different generations text. Yeah. And it's like, ah, what did I read about it?

But it was, like, I am, I feel like I'm the exception in my generation where if it's a one word response, like sure, I'll just put a period at the end of it. And people are like- Apparently that's like a tack, a violent attack on them. Yeah. I was told that by Ali actually.

Really? That exact text. She's like, and a period? She thought I was mad at her. Or I think it was K in a period. But you do have to figure out a way to express motion through these things, you know? Or, oh, the thing I heard was that boomers,

these are the baby boomers. Okay, boomer? Colloquially known as boomers is they'll use the ellipses, dot, dot, dot, because they don't wanna say, because they remember when phones didn't have unlimited texting. So they would try to get as many thoughts into one text as possible.

Oh my God, I love that. And so the dot, dot, dot indicates new thought. Yeah, okay. Like wait for it, it's coming. My mom does a voice detect, so all of her texts are incredibly long. My mom does that too. I'm starting I'm thinking about I'm tired of typing with this These thumbs these fat thumbs of mine constantly Get the letter wrong getting auto correct. That's wrong. You're like

Who's the guy from the like nursery rhyme and puts his thumb in a pie? Oh yeah, what is his name? It's not Johnny Suck-a-Thumb. Johnny Suck-a-Thumb. Is it Tom Thumb? It might be Tom Thumb. Yeah. That sounds so right, it can't be wrong. Yeah.

But Johnny Suck-a-Thumb is the one about a kid. Johnny, that's a thing? Yeah, it's from Grimm's. Oh, the Grimm brothers. Yeah, it's from German. Is that Grimm's or the German? They're all German. They're all German, right?

Yeah. But it's about a kid that sucks his thumb and so somebody comes and cuts them off with scissors. Stop it, that's a children's fairytale? That's a children's fairytale from back in that era. Wow. Little Jack Horner. Horner!

Well, he's previously sitting in a corner. He was in a corner. He was in a corner. And what was he eating? A curds and whey. Christmas pie. Christmas pie in the curds and whey. He's stuck in a corner. He sat in a corner. He was in a corner. And what was he eating? A curds and whey. Christmas pie. Christmas pie in the corn, curds and whey. He's stuck in a thumb.

That's the other one. And what did he pull out? A plum. A plum. Oh God. And what did he say? Check the set. A check?

He said, what a good boy am I? Oh, he wasn't though. Now who put their finger in a dyke? I don't know. Sassy Mike. Another Brothers Grimm character. I think it was a little Dutch boy. Oh, that's right.

When you were a kid, nursery rhymes, classic stories. When you were kids, when you were really little, was there Mother Goose stories? Yeah, I still have some of mother goose yeah I just wonder if it's still do you remember those when you were a kid yeah I I'll be honest by

both my parents worked shift and so TV raised me that was a lot of a lot of or I would get dropped off at the library which is so interesting because then I worked at a library and I was like oh yeah you can't do that can't leave your kids at a library and I was like, oh yeah, you can't do that. Can't leave your kids at a library, but. No, yeah, different times. Yeah, different times. So you're kind of extremes. You were left in front of a television

or you were left in front of a book. Exactly. Which has ultimate control. Oh, she doesn't read, she's a- I did sing that out loud, so I'm gonna own it. Yeah, I kind of read more like, I did, yeah. You weren't reading nursery rhymes. I wasn't, no, I was reading the New York Times.

Okay. I was ahead of my game. Yeah. No, I loved mysteries more than, I like to try to solve them. As a child? Yeah. Right. Or do you still?

Less now, cause life's the mystery. Yeah. So as a child, is it Nancy Drew? Drew, yep, Nancy, cause life's the mystery. I'd like to know. Yeah, that's true. So as a child, is it Nancy Drew? Drew, yep, Nancy Drew. And sometimes the Hardy. Boys. Boys.

Yeah, the Hardy boys. They would get into all sorts of shit. Rapscallions. I don't think I read, I think I read half of a chapter of one of the Hardy boys, and I was like, not for me. Thank you, no thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was Harriet the Spy a series or was it just one book?

Oh, I don't know. I didn't read that one. I think, I only know it as the movie, so there you go. Oh, and that would have been on TV, bro. They're great, Michelle Trachtenberg and Rosie O'Donnell film. Oh, wow, those two names I haven't heard in a while. I'll say that. What, as a youth, your favorite TV show?

Oh my God, probably The Simpsons. That's classy. I know, it honestly was though, like truly. That's one of the bad dads. Oh, classic. Oh. Choking his kid. Do you think they still do that on the show?

Episode or season 40 or whatever? I still watch it, so let me tell you, they do. Yeah, my sister still watches it. Really? I can't, I can't. I was joking. No, and me too, sorry, Lisa. No, she does watch it. She says it's okay. But like, truly.

I'm like, why are you watching it then? But she watches everything. Sure. She's watched the entire internet. So she just has to watch whatever's new. I don't walk my dogs at night very much. I mostly do the daytime walks. And then in the winter,

I'll try to get that dog walk in before the sun sets at four o'clock. Otherwise it's diapers for you, doggos. Exactly. But I was walking the dogs the other day and I'm sure people notice this in like places with a bunch of apartments and you can see into other people's apartments.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Just seeing into people's houses, first of all, put your blinds, close your blinds apartments. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Just seeing into people's houses, first of all, put your blinds, close your blinds everyone. Oh right, kind of. But I was shocked how many people watch YouTube on their TVs. Oh, that's interesting.

Like there were just people watching. Just straight up YouTube. Just like talk shows. Talk shows too, that's odd. I mean, to be fair, I have yet to pay for any streaming service. Oh okay. Cause I mean, to be fair, I have yet to pay for any streaming service because I'm just like that. Sure.

So I have to really hunt things down. So sometimes YouTube talks. Do you feel like you're missing out? Like, oh, this is the new series on such and such? A little bit, because I have to remind myself of that it exists because it's not on any, you know, and then people will talk about it and then I have to like find it. And sometimes, I don't know, it's stressful.

I should just get a streaming service, I hear it. But then, you know, like which one? Right? I only want one from each of them. You want one show from each of the streaming services? Yeah, oh yeah, that's gotta be some sort of dark web thing you could make happen. There's something out there.

So you nerds, if you figure it out, leave it in the comments. Yeah, leave it in the comments. Write it to Vancouver Magazine. Write it to Vancouver Magazine. Write it to Vancouver Magazine. That's fanmeg.com. Yeah, do you think with writing for the magazine, do you think you could get press credentials

to get in places? Oh, let me tell you, yes. I know I can. I've yet to really try. You should though, benefit of the job. I know, honestly, I'm working up the courage because I'm kind of the new air, I'm really dry. You should though, benefit of the job. But I should, I know. Honestly, I'm working up the courage because I'm kind of the new air, I'm the baby. But like, certainly, you know, anything in town.

Oh, yes. You're from Vancouver magazine. Yeah, anything outside of Vancouver is a harder justify. I'll say that. But also like, I wonder, like Taylor Swift is playing the final shows of the Air is Dure in December here. And I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be like, oh, I don't really need the press.

I don't need the press from Vancouver magazine. I'm gonna reach out to her people though. I think she's, hasn't heard from me yet in my interview. Yeah, exactly. What are you gonna bring to the table? I'm gonna ask her the questions. Yeah. You know? Who's this guy?

Who's this, period. Who's this guy? Yeah. I know people who used to like do, take pictures of concerts and they would get a press pass for the first three songs and then they had to leave. Oh really?

Yeah. And they're like, get out. You saw enough for a review. Well, maybe it's just like, to get pictures in the like, Oh, in the like, at the side of the stage. For a short time when I worked at City TV,

I had press credentials for the Olympics. Ooh. And then were revoked when I was let go from City TV. Oh. Which I felt like- It was the middle of the Olympics? It was just before, it was like a week before the Olympics. And I was like, seems to me the classy thing would have been to let me keep the credentials and just go of the Olympics? It was just before, it was like a week before the Olympics. And I was like, seems to me the classy thing

would have been to let me keep the credentials and just go enjoy the Olympics, but. You were a security risk. Yeah, it's true. I couldn't get a job as a security guard. That's too risky. Do you remember the Olympics? Were you here?

I wasn't here. Where were you? I was, when were they? 2010. 2010. Yeah, I was in Calgary still. That's born and raised in Calgary. Yeah. When down, five years ago,

we probably asked you this question and we're not gonna ask it now, we're gonna guess. Yeah. What high school you went to? Hey. Oh no, I think I'm feeling remembrances. Oh, okay, okay. Do you have a guess?

I'm gonna say that you were an E.P. Scarlett kind of person. Ooh, honestly, I take that as a compliment, but no. I'm guessing it was Saint somethings. It was a Catholic school. You are on the right track, my friend. Saint, boy, let's go with Teresa's. Oh, Saint Teresa's. I don't know.

Saint Mary. Ooh, another good guess. Very close. Saint Boniface, St. Teresa. I don't know. St. Mary. Oh, another good guess. Very close. St. Boniface? No. No way. Now you're away. Now I'm going far away.

Now you're in left field. There's no saving you. Um, uh, Saint. One of the other saints. It's the one saint who loved animals. Oh, okay. Uh, St. Steve Irwin. St. Steve Irwin, hi!

Yeah. St. Francis of Assisi? Go Stingrays. That was our team. Oh, okay. Saint Steve Irwin. Saint Steve Irwin, hi, yeah. Saint Francis of Assisi? Go stingrays. That was our team. Oh, yikes. Did you say Francis? Yeah. You nailed it.

Saint Francis. Saint Francis. And was that, was that, I was gonna say a costume school, but a uniform school. We wore Halloween costumes on the daily. Yeah, we have fun there. We must have asked you this last time, because how would I remember that it was a- Yeah. Right? Oh. Yeah, we have fun there. We must have asked you this last time

because how would I remember that it was a- Yeah. Right? Oh, see, I don't remember. We ask every Calgary in that. So smart. Now you both- We are so smart. We are so smart.

And I know, I do believe we asked you about identical twin? Fraternal. I don't know if you asked that, but yeah, fraternal, we do look kind of alike, but- We look similar, yeah. You know, as nature versus nurture. Have we had other guests with twins? Debra D. Giovanni has a twin. No. Aaron Reed has a twin. No.

Identical? No, not identical. Sorry, those are both fraternal. No, I don't think so. Aaron Reed has a twin. Yeah. A fraternal twin? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. This hasn't come up? No. Boy, oh boy. It's a sister, right? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. This hasn't come up? No. Boy, oh boy.

It's a sister, right? Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna have it on my podcast, my fraternal twin podcast. I feel like we asked someone who had a twin if they switched classes. Oh, I think this was me,

because we did that, and it was too boring results. Yeah, because you had to just then go to class. There's no one notice. Yeah. And then you're just behind in the class. Exactly, I was just like, you have a test next to the law.

It looks hard. You didn't take notes. I didn't take, yeah. And then you're just behind in the class. Exactly, I was just like, you have a test next to you, blah blah blah. It looks hard. You didn't take notes. I didn't take notes at all. I should have. Yeah, now your sister lives here as well. Yes. Did you guys move as a unit? No.

Oh. So there was a brief period of time, almost five years actually, which is like a lifetime in twin years. Right, okay. I literally, you know, woo mates, lived with her too and stuff like that. Like we'd never been apart.

And then I moved to Vancouver and yeah, it was tough too. I was really like, who am I? And you were texting her every day, squeakle, goggle. Yes, you read my texts. Dot, dot, dot. Yeah, dot, dot, dot. Zap, zap, wibble, wobble.

Yes, you read my desk. Dot, dot, dot. Yeah, dot, dot, dot. Zap, zap, wibble, wobble. It's the same. Do you, like, is there some sort of language around twins having like the same emotions or same thoughts or feelings? Is there something?

It's not to that degree of like, I can read her thoughts a la the shining, but I can tell. You can, but I can tell. You can tell. I can tell. Yeah. I don't know, but it's more. But does she have to be in the room with you

for you to tell? Or can you read it? She has to tell me, physically. Yeah. And then it takes me a while, because I, you know. She doesn't really mean that. She doesn't bring it down, yeah, I question it.

No, if she's in the room for sure, because I can gauge it, but even when she's not, I don't know. Really? It's like an intuition maybe? Twin intuition. Oh, is that a term? Oh, well, if it is. Does she have the same with you?

I think so. Yeah, I think she said that. Now we talked about texting. Is there like a, is texting easier with her? Not that texting's hard. It's so hard. But like, is there a different like, I can't.

quality to it? I don't know what the question is. They're better. They slap harder than my texts with my mom. No, actually hers are really great. She does the voicemail thing too, or the voice thing. And it always picks up like the TV nearby. Oh yeah, or sometimes my dad's voice is in picks up like the TV nearby. So suddenly it'll be a sentence.

Oh yeah, or sometimes my dad's voice is in there a little bit. Yeah, what is this? No, but she like types, voice to type. Is that what your mom does? Yeah. Yeah, so it'll suddenly in the middle of it, have this random sentence that I'm just like,

how do I decode this? It's all one sentence. She's not my twin, I can't figure this out. Yeah, I don't have any. No, does your twin same hairstyle? Basically. Basically, right? I think I've met her before.

Yeah, we did have to stay in our lanes with the bangs. Okay, so you're bangs. Oh, you both have bangs. Is that okay? We've made it okay. Cause I really wanted them. Yeah. But you know, and you can't own a hairstyle. Like who gets bangs, right? Well, I mean, them. Yeah. But, you know, and you can't, who, you can't own a hairstyle. Like who's, who gets bangs, right?

I mean, Rachel owns that. Rachel, Rachel. Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, okay, so I stand for it. They aforementioned Polly Walnuts and his hairstyle. Okay, okay, yeah. So I'll figure out how to legally own these bangs, but until they do, we share.

Yeah, that is interesting. We share them. Can you, hmm, can you copyright a hairstyle? Probably. That'd be so iconic. Yeah. What hairstyle could we get away? Like, Betty Page, that's a hairstyle? Probably. That would be so iconic. Yeah. What hairstyle could we get away with? Like Betty Page, that's a-

Yeah, that is a- Like that's something that you would tell a hairdresser, give me the Betty Page. And they still know it. All these years later. All these years later, yeah. What other hairstyle could, holds up like that? Uma Thurman's in Pulp Fiction, I feel like.

Isn't that the Betty Page? That's kind of a Betty Page. That's a bit of the Betty Page, yeah. That's the notorious Betty Page. You know, a page boy haircut, a pair of faucets, wings. Literally, yeah, like a faucet of hair. It's like a faucet of hair.

I don't know if anyone's ever said that, but that's actually pretty prolific. You're showing us that you are a ranger. I think that's what prolific means. Well, I think if you think about it, it's... If you came up with a few more like that, you would be pretty prolific. But you came up with twin tuition, and that was great. Exactly. So that's not nothing.

Fosset of hair. Fosset of hair. Okay, the podcast's not over yet. No, that's right. And this feels writer-ly. Yes. Well, I'm also working on my screenplay. That's what I brought my laptop. Tell me you are. Yeah. Oh're doing. Yes, well I'm also working on my screenplay. That's what I probably like. Tell me you are.

Yeah, oh. Who is it? Who is it? I did write a screenplay. Oh, can I ask what it's about? Actually, it's on screenplay so much as it is a television pilot. A teleplay. A teleplay, a screenplay for the mini screen.

I'm looking at the top 50 hairstyles of all time. Of course you are. Most iconic, the top 50 most iconic hairstyles of all time. What's number one? I don't know if they're in order. Where's Betty on that list? Honestly, the first one on the list is freaking Rapunzel. Oh, god.

This list sucks. Just having long hair, that's not a style. That's time. Here's some of them. That's letting yourself go. Medusa. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay.

Oh, darn it. I saw a picture of it and then suddenly, I'm turning this down. It's letting yourself go. Medusa. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, darn it. I saw a picture of it and then suddenly I'm turning this down. The Rachel. The Rachel. Damn Shirley Temple. Oh, yeah. Girlies.

Oh, boy. She did? I didn't know that. The Beatles. Oh, yeah. The Beatles, yeah. The Beatles, yeah. Collectively.

Bowl cut. Classic bowl cut. Princess Leia. Oh, yeah. The buns. Dorothy Hamill. You have long hair. Have you ever seen a woman with really long hair? Like to the point where it's like too much? Like you're almost sitting on it.

Past waist. Crystal Gale. Who's that? Crystal Gale. Yeah. She was the singer. Wasn't she a sister of another singer as well? And they just had hair down from here to Timbuktu.

Oh, wow. Yeah, I saw a country singer. Like an online video of somebody with, like almost down to the calf. Yeah, oh. Loretta Lynn. Loretta Lynn's sister. Oh, I didn't actually know that. Interesting.

Learning a lot. Would you ever go past the waistline? Would it, would it? Honestly, it's too long right now, but I am in a phase of my life where I'm cutting my own hair and other people's hair. Whoa! I know, I've gotten really into it.

I watch a lot of videos, I cut Ali's hair, I've cut my sister's hair, I've cut my hair. That's truss. It is truss. Do you offer to cut more people's hair and they're like, no? Yeah, I threw it out there. What about Devon's hair, now that it's blonde?

I mean, I see, I don't know if I can cut dude hair because I use, I've moved onto a razor, Lookout. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are fun. A special kind of cut. Oh boy. And I basically do the same haircut though. So that's the thing.

Right. You get your haircut by me, cuts by Kerry. That's pretty good. You're gonna leave with the exact same haircut and it's gonna be more or less kind of what my hair looks like, cause it's what I like. That's what you know how to do.

And I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it to your hair. But I do a dry cut and I kind of work with your face. Like I try to give it. Like its own. Like a sculpting. I always try to work against my face. Smart. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You always put a hair down under your forehead. Down. Yeah, when my face zigs, my hair zags. Oh, I love that. Do you, you say you do a dry cut. Do you, you make a good conversation during this haircut? No, just bone dry, quiet.

Yeah. Some people prefer. Actually, I will say, that was a joke, but I, I get them to bring me a bottle of wine. So we'll drink some wine, you know, we'll get into it. The care cut gets a little sloppy at the end. Yeah, that's why I saved the back. Yeah, yeah. What happens back there is therapy for me.

But yeah, if I go and get it done professionally, which I'm going to do, cause I can't reach it now. So I have to get someone to clean it up and tell me what's happening back there. which I'm going to do because I can't reach it now. So I have to get someone to clean it up and tell me what's happening back there. But I prefer just to zone out, honestly. It's so humbling to sit in front of a mirror with somebody and just like, you're just staring at yourself.

And I don't wanna watch me watching myself have a conversation, it's too meta. Does that make sense? It's too meta, it breaks me. That's why we won't put the show on YouTube YouTube because we don't wanna see ourselves having a conversation. Yeah. The thing, the number one place. We record the video for all these shows.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You just store it away. Yeah, it's plugged around the room. You can't really see it, but. Yeah, yeah, it's well hidden. Being in hotel rooms, I feel like that's where you're getting a lot of mirror angles

that you wouldn't usually get. Right, you're like, I wouldn't. Like a mirror just coming out of the bathroom, there's just a mirror there. I don't think in your house you would ever have a mirror. I don't need to be greeted by myself after leaving a room with a mirror. It's like, there I am again, now I'm living room carry.

Yeah. But do you do the thing, do you like turn them around to show them the do, or do you just bring over the mirror, or how do you do the thing, do you like turn them around to show them the do, or do you just bring over the mirror? Or how do you do that? Are they in an office chair that you can spin? I wish. Like these very chairs we're in right now? Yeah, oh yes.

That'd be fun, just the turning. Right, the reveal? Yeah. I don't really have the set up for it, and it's probably been a few hours since I've been cutting their hair, so they're just, they're like, these are marathon sessions. Oh yeah, we, it's a hangout session.

Is it? Yeah. Are you doing them in a bathroom or on a porch or? Wherever I can do them. Just in the kitchen? In the kitchen. Oh yeah. Of course.

So it's a bit of a, you know, mess. Food, health, code violation. So don't tell anyone. I won't, I promise. Thank you. I wonder if the city would I mean strip your fresh credentials. I'd like to see them try not before the Olympics 2026.

Yeah, the health inspectors don't typically come to house kitchens. Not typically, but when they do. There's a lot of hair in these potatoes. Thanks for inviting me at all. I appreciate it. But. Years and years ago, the guy that I got my haircut at had a chair in his apartment, had like a full barber chair and he did the razor. Oh, he did?

Yeah, yeah. I think for smaller cuts he would do scissors but he's just lopping it off. Yeah, razor and then creating a body, however you do that. Yeah, you carve in and just like, but you have to get a good person with a razor. Otherwise he can really, really fuck up the hair.

Yeah. Well, yeah, you gotta get a good person no matter what. You should, yeah. You should get a good person. I was thinking just now while you guys were talking, I was thinking about health inspectors. Oh, you were somewhere else, was thinking about health inspectors. You were somewhere else, of course.

Health inspectors. And they go to restaurants and they're like, oh, there's mice over here. Check out these nuts. This guy's not wearing a hairnet. His nuts are out. Yeah. These nuts shouldn't be out.

These nuts are out. Milk is sitting on a radiator. Yeah, yeah, too gross. And they're, so they're like, how do they go to restaurants after that? They must hate. I don't think they do. Cause like every restaurant in town,

you can search online and see all the health violations. Every restaurant has health violations. If you're eating at a restaurant, you're eating at a place that a rat has also been. Yes. Yeah, or at the very least mice. There you go, put that on the sign. Yeah, mice and more.

Yeah. Mice and more. Mice, rats and beyond. 99 billion rats served. But there's like, I've had occasion to be somewhere when a restaurant is closed up and have taken out the garbage and stuff. And then as soon as that door is closed,

woo to the rats just fly out of nowhere. They really do. I know whenever I walk by, I think it's Finches, shout out. I just see they're dancing. Like it's a whole, like I'll just stop and watch. Yeah, you got to. It's an ecosystem. Shout out.

It's an ecosystem. Well, lovely restaurant. I'm sure their codes are all up and watch. Yeah, you got it. It's an ecosystem. A delicate ecosystem. Shout out. A lovely restaurant. I'm sure their codes are all up to date. Yeah, but there's no- The mice are out there. You can't keep them out of the alleys. You can't. Is it in New York or LA where they put the letters in the window?

Oh yeah. Definitely LA. I think New York too. Yeah, it seems like a good system and I don't know why we don't do that. Yeah, we don't really have anything other than the Michelin stuff, but that's- That's the other end of the spectrum.

That's the other stuff. That's my kind of thing. You can be both. That's true. Especially if you're wearing those tall hats, you don't know what's under there. Maybe a little rat. It's a ratatouille situation if it's Michelin. Yeah, there's a couple in town, right?

Oh yeah, and they've expanded it to like, they're not getting a star, but they're on our list of like- Yeah, there's like, there's such a, cause even working with the magazine now, I've learned a lot about this world, cause I didn't really know anything about it. Tell us about this world.

It's all rigged, it has nothing to do with the tire guy. But it's basically, yeah, like you can have a star stripped from you, which I was like, oh my God, that would be like, it shouldn't go the other way, I don't think. But you should have it for life. Yeah, or something, I don't know. And then there's like recommended. So they're not quite there yet.

And there's still good. Yeah, good. I don't know why they're not, they don't tell Yeah, good. I don't know why they're not, they don't tell us why, like you don't know why they're picked or anything. And you know that it is the tire guy. It is the tire guy. It is. But they are the sponsor.

You said it wasn't the tire guy. And I know you're in on that, in the inside. I feel like how did, that's the story I want to figure out. I've been meaning to. Why, how did he get involved? Why, why that? I don't think it's the guy, like I don't think it's the big puffy guy.

No, yeah, it's not, but it was because it was like a guide for traveling around. Travelers. Oh, oh! Just saying like, this restaurant's five stars, however many stars you get from it. They can give one, I think. Yeah.

And then they got another one later. But yeah, you could be stripped of it if they found out you were using drugs. Oh, certainly. Or yeah, like that. I wonder it if they found out you were using drugs Oh, certainly I wonder how many meals I've eaten by somebody who's just crazy on drugs I'm guessing most Probably a lot, right?

Probably a lot, more than not I would think Yeah, oh man, kitchen work Have you read the Bourdain books? I've read Bourdain, one of his books I've watched a couple episodes of The Bear Ah, The Bear Kitchen Nightmares, I saw quite a few episodes of that. Oh, sure, Ratatouille, we saw.

Favorite cooking show? Honestly, probably The Bear. The Bear, okay. Yeah. That's a cooking show? I get some tips. Yeah. Just yell.

Yeah, just yell. Be stressed. Yeah. Have some tattoos. Have a few tattoos. That's not gonna hurt. Yeah, smoke. Introduce a girlfriend in season two for no reason.

For no reason, no payoff. Call it a sitcom. season two for no reason. For no reason, no payoff. Call it a sitcom. Yeah, I can get at some comedy. Emmys, favorite cookie show, Dave? Oh, for me? Boy, it's gotta be, it's gotta be Sesame Street because that damn Cookie Monster, he's always chomping them down.

Oh, can't cook them fast enough. Yeah, most of the cookies just end up on the floor with that guy. Most, but some, I think he does swallow a few. Oh, can't cook them fast enough. Yeah. Most of the cookies just end up on the floor with that guy. Most. But some, I think he does swallow a few. Yeah, the ones he does, he really enjoys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, stay with him.

He's a big guy. We have a cooking show, quick. Barefoot Contessa. Wow. Yeah, what was the one, the woman that she cooks for her husband? Is that Bearer-Vick-Hill's Ina Gardner? Ina Gardner. Oh yeah, Ina Gardner.

Who do you think's the worst kitchen guy? I think everybody's like gonna say Gordon Ramsay. Oh yeah. But he's so nice to those children. That's true, he does give the children a break. Uh-huh. Thank God, that'd be such a different show. I think it's gonna be somebody that you wouldn't suspect, But he's so nice to those children. That's true. He does give the children a break. Uh-huh. Thank God that'd be such a different show.

I think it's gonna be somebody that you wouldn't suspect. Jamie Oliver, that's my guess. Oh, you think? Yeah, honestly I guess. Like he's too nice? Yeah. A little bit? There's something behind the scenes there. He's probably doing something.

I've heard a story about him. It was on my algorithm. Do you remember? I think it was, boy, I think Liam Gallagher from Oasis. He's been showing up on my Algar-rhythm a lot. My Gallagher-rhythm. Oh, hey, hey, hey. Put that in the old writer's handbook.

Stay out of my lane, sir. I need this. I think Jamie Oliver bought a house that was across the street from a pub that Liam Gallagher used to go to all the time. And they'd be very loud leaving the pub and J.B. Oliver would complain and they wouldn't stop. No, they would not.

They don't care, I'll say it. Yeah, Liam Gallagher doesn't give a shit. He doesn't even. Are you stoked that they're back together? I, thank you. I am the biggest Gallagher, no. Actually I did like him because I really liked them, obviously in their heyday,

but I liked the Beatles when I was young. So it felt obviously like the same energy. But I don't know, why are they fighting all the time? They're the opposite of you and your sister. Quite literally, yeah. They hate each other. I wonder how the stage, what's gonna be the arrangement is gonna be?

I'm left, you're right. Right, yeah. There's not gonna be any back to backs, no. Do you think? Well, like back to backs, they're getting to look at each other. Oh, like where they share a microphone. Where they share a microphone and do that, back to back? I wish.

Cause I'm the young one, and I'm your older brother, and we are together and we sing this song. They're singing it, they're singing the song, the brother song. Yeah, they're new albums, Just, it's a bit song. It doesn't rhyme, not even once. I'm gonna do this like,

hand clap break where they're doing little patty cakes. What? Are we being graced with new music from Oasis or is this just that we're getting together and playing together? I think they're getting together for the, people want it. People wanna see them live.

They wanna see them, their boring stage show. Yeah. Yeah. Like with no new stuff, what are they giving you other than the possibility of a meltdown? Even the- Oh, which is what?

Which is wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm proud of that. Yeah. Get some press credentials from them. They're not coming here for sure. Yeah, why is there a tour called the No Refunds Tour? Is that, yeah.

Okay, I was wondering, like that's a great name. Even if we break up on our first show. Yeah, No Refunds Tour. Is that, yeah. Okay, I was wondering, like, that's a great name. Even if we break up on our first show. Yeah, No Refunds. Well, how you doing? Yeah, I like them, yeah, when I was a teen. A teen, yeah. I was meant to like them. It's because, like, my cousins were in Northern Ireland,

so that, like, was, everybody loved Oasis in the UK. They loved The Sis, they called them The SIS. The SIS, the OA, sometimes the people say. Oh, I've never heard of it, and one more? The Azis. Yeah. Less popular. Oh.

Is there- I really like them too. Yeah. Look at us admitting this, hey? It's just nice. I really like the first three albums and then I don't think I heard another note out of them. Yeah, I think they just remind me very much

of like drinking in a pub. It's just like. I, as a young guitar player, I really liked how some of their songs felt under my fingers. They were very, they're not complicated at all. All the guitar solos have the same riff. Nice. Oh, it's a secret. They're going to be pissed. Um, Dave, what's going on with you, my friend?

Your wife's name is Sally, right? That's correct. Do you ever say so Sally can wait to her? Yeah, yeah. And Mustang Sally. There's any number of Sally songs. You tell her not to look back in anger? Yeah. And do you know what?

What happens when I do that? Oh boy. Am I in the end of some anger? I'll tell you that. The one thing. Yeah. Sorry, Sally. I had to do it to him.

What's going on with me? Well, I talked about dog walking. Yes. I've been walking my, I've had to walk the dog in the dark the last few weeks, dogs. You carry flashlight? I clearly carry flashlight. You carry flashlight?

Yeah. Just for emergencies. So you're the guy on the community boards they call flashlight. Yeah, okay, yeah, now that's coming together. For the dogs. Yeah. They like to For the dogs. Yeah. They like to chew on it.

Sure. I don't use, probably pretty similar to the texture of a dog toy. Sure. We can all. I mean, I don't know. We gotta pick out. And it squeaks.

It squeaks. The good ones, anyway. What's going on in there? I can hear it squeaking. Yeah. And so I was, do you remember, let's say four years ago, there was this pandemic. And every day at seven o'clock, people would go outside and bang pots and pans. Pots and pans, that's right.

And then I guess we collectively all decided, well, what the fuck good is this? Yeah. Not everyone was like pitter-pattered for a while still. Did you do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it.

I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it.

I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it.

I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like, I'm not gonna do it. I was like could go out and bang a walk. Yeah. She didn't want me banging pots and pans. But we, so there was, we did it because we have little kids and they- Sure. Hey, that's just awesome. Yeah, that's all they wanna do.

And yeah, it's straight to bed. But it was every night at seven o'clock. And then at the time, I remember there was a person who in the neighborhood who would play their bagpipes as everyone was doing this. And it was every night at seven o'clock, you'd hear bagpipes for blocks. And so lately I've been walking the dog after dinner at seven o'clock.

Guess who's still going? Oh, I love this. What? Bagpipe guy is still going, or person, bagpipe person is still going at seven o'clock every night. Wow, where, what area? Yeah, this area. Where should I be?

Yeah, just in the hood? I follow the sound of a wheezing. Yeah, I don't think that I'm acquainted with this bagpipe. You didn't even know at the time? No. We had a guy in our block that played the marimba. So that was our neighborhood. Wow, yeah, neighborhood vibes.

What does marimba sound like? It's very like plinky, plunky, it's very nice. Is it like? I can't even picture it. Kind of the opening, kind of like a steel drum. It's kind of like, I feel like there's, you know, Apple notifications that are marimba. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. It was so nice. He had it in his backyard and he played like all during the summer and- Oh, I actually love that. Yeah, he played under the sea. Just the opening riff. All marimba songs start with that.

Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh. Okay, what about a maroon five cover band? A maroomba only band. Put it in the book, put it in the book. And one of the members is a Roomba. Absolutely, all of the members. They're all, and they're cleaning and they're bothering. And they're doing moves like Jagger.

Oh, certainly. I would. Let's make that happen, NASA nerds. Do you, is he, do you think he's outside? Is he inside? Oh, he's outside. He's outside, okay, maybe. I was like, get out of there.

Cause I had never actually been close to it. I had always heard it from afar. And then I know the house now and I'm not surprised. Wow. The bagpipers. What is it? The house is just, I don't wanna. Is it one with a Scottish flag up is just full of Molevkintyre. Is it one with a Scottish flag up front?

Did you say Molevkintyre? Yeah. Is that? That's something. That's a Paul McCartney song. Yeah. What is a Molevkintyre? Seems like something Scottish.

What is it? It's sort of like a, I think it's like a big hill somewhere in Scotland. Hmm. Paul McCartney, it was a wing song, Molevkintyre. Yes, it was. And it was, he onlyvkintyre. Yes, it was. And it was, he only plays it in Canada, or he doesn't play it in the States, but when he comes on tour,

he'll get the local Pipe band to come play it here. I betcha. Do you think this guy was in the band? This guy might be in there. I think. Because it wasn't released as a single in the States, it was in Canada. I feel like I only hear Bagpipes,

Remembrance Day, some sort of parade. Sure, Robbie Byrne's day. And then, you know, the Dropkick Murphys, I feel like. Oh, of course. Mole of Kintyre. Mole of Kintyre. There was a comedian named Johnny Bagpipes

and his big closer was playing AC DC on the on big pipes Yeah, well better be yeah He was a born bagpipes Yeah, big pipe and most of the act was he always had the bagpipes the whole time and he would do little bits of Songs but then at the end it was full like so he sang No, was it Thunderstruck was thunder. That's the way you got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was listening to that on the radio the other day. So good. So good.

Like the fact that he came up with the riff and then the lead singer was like, and I'll go, Thunder. It was like, wow. How did these two things come together? They don't, you know, one doesn't evoke the other,

but they work so well. Aaron Reed, past guest, has one of the funniest jokes about them picking the second singer of ACDC. Oh, yeah. It's, I wouldn't do Justice Do It. I don't know if I've heard that one.

It's just like this goblin that crawls out from under a bridge and he's like, hey, what are you doing? Definitely have heard that. Yeah, it's a whole bit. It's a whole bit. It's a whole big bit. Oh, I definitely heard that one. Oh, so good.

But I was just thinking, so this guy's still going. I was thinking how funny it would be if people just kept doing banging pots of pans at seven o'clock every night for five years. Like, because I guess what it was to tell the healthcare workers we appreciate them. Yeah. Because it wasn't that when they were switching

or something, why was it seven too? I don't know, but it was supposed to be, yeah. Yeah, it might have been a shift. I don't know, but it was supposed to be. Yeah, exactly that. Oh, it might've been a shift. I don't know, but could you imagine leaving work and just people just banging at you? You're just like, all right. I mean, that's what I've worked my whole life for.

To be banged out. To be banged out as soon as I leave the house. Hasn't happened yet, but. But hey, saying it out loud, that's manifestation. Yeah, that's number one step. It's halfway there. Number one's the only step, you're me. That's right. Just manifest. Let the rest do it. Yeah, that's number one step. It's halfway there. Number one's the only step, you're me. That's right. Just manifest.

Let the rest do it. Yeah, she's coming. Yeah. The bagpipe guy's still going strong. I love it. It's like when you hear stories about people who were like on isolated islands during World War II and they didn't know the war was over.

So they're still hiding away from whomever, whatever side they were hiding away from. That's the dream. To just keep, to just be fighting a war for the whole rest of your life on a remote island. Never getting any wind of if you're winning, losing, what the status is. No one's dropping, you know, provisions. You're checking the chat. Yeah, you're like, no one's coming on, nothing? What are we thinking, chat? You're checking the chat? Yeah, you're like, no one's counting, no one, nothing? What's the vibe out there? Now, do either of you like watching war movies?

War movies. No. War memories. War memories. War memories. Cool for me. No, I don't generally. No, me neither.

I don't, like I get their artistic merit, but I don't understand their entertainment. I, yeah, what did I like? I liked 1917. Oh yeah. Remember that? Oh yeah. Not the war itself, but I was a baby. I was just a little baby. Now I'm a really old. Carrie's really young. She was just a baby in 1917. Her hair's white. That's how we knew she was a redhead.

So white, yeah. Gastly. I think I like a handful of war movies. I think I do too, but I don't think, like it's not, it feels like there's new war movies that come out every year. And very few of them do I gravitate. I like War Horse.

War Horse. I never saw War. But I feel like it was a little metal jacket. Oh yeah, scary. I haven't seen it. There's one, what's the one with? I like Inglorious Basterds. Oh, Inglorious Basterds was good. Oh yeah.

Oh boy, oh boy. Am I gonna not figure this out? But it's a story of a woman who is, because of a rumor, her lover is sent to war. Because of a rumor, her lover is sent to war. Is it atonement? Yes. Atonement.

Why was it? I forgot that that's the part of it. Why was he sent to war because of a rumor. Rumor was you've been enlisted. Yeah. Millions of guys are going to war. And there's people are fighting on the battlefield. I think I like. Boy, I like the great escape.

And I like bridge on the River Kwai over the river, quite on the River Kwai. Remember watching that as a young teen while babysitting. Sure. Because that was the VHS that they had. Oh yeah. And it was two, two VHS. Yeah, they were all really long movies. I think not one.

And then they're, I feel like that and like, if a war movie came on TV when I was a kid, I'd be like, get it out of here. That or a Western. Yeah. I'll watch a Western. I'll watch a Western over a war movie if given the chance. I would be the same way.

Cause I grew up, my grandfather loved Westerns. Was he a John Wayne fanatic? Yeah. John Wayne. What about Clint Eastwood? Probably more, well, no, John Wayne, but Clint Eastwood too, I watched all the- Yeah, my favorite movie, Cowboy, Woody from Toy Story.

Oh, I mean, that's canon, that's Cowboy. Was there a favorite of the Westerns that you watched with your grandpa? Just kidding, I don't like the Toy Story movies. Just kidding, gotcha. I don't know, it's probably- The dad from that movie, Absent. Oh.

He's one of the bad dads on the list. Oh, is he? Can't even picture him, that's how absent he was. Is he just not there? He's just not there. Oh, okay. But he's never alluded to? I don't think so, he walked out on Woody and the gang.

And his son. Never to return. What about, in Family Matters, the Reginald Vel- Vel Johnson is the dad, but he only pays attention to the neighbor boy. Oh, only Urkel? Only Urkel. Only Urkel.

Favorite Western that you had to watch? I forget what it's called, but it's a Clint Eastwood one. Shoot, I'd have to Google it. Oh, Josie Wales. Oh, got it. Is that your favorite? I thought of that one.

Oh, my favorite was Tombstone with the, with Russell. Okay, wait, forgiven or? Unforgiven. Unforgiven. Oh, the one thing. Oh, unforgiven, so good. Yeah, yeah. You watched the- You saw the prequel.

I watched the prequel, yeah. It was way better, no. That's actually, technically he had his star taken from him. He was forgiven and then Michelin. Oh no, the tiger guy. Yeah. That didn't quite work, sorry listener.

That was shot in Alberta, Unforgiven. What? Oh my God. Knew somebody who worked on the set and he said that to get everyone's attention, a lot of directors would get either on a bullhorn or get somebody to go on their behalf. Clint Eastwood would just,

if he was leaning against something silently, something was wrong. Oh. get either on a bullhorn or get somebody to go on every half, then Eastwood would just, if he was leaning against something silently, something was wrong. Oh, you can hear Clint talking? Very like a mean teacher. Yeah. Like, oh, teacher's not. That kind of thing works for me though. It's just like, if I feel the tension of somebody just quietly, I'll immediately be like, oh,

this person wants us to look at them. Hello. I'm buckling, I'm buckling. I cave immediately to that. I don't know why the silence. What is it? It's easier to, you know, somebody's yelling, you just be like,

to and the doubt. Yell louder. Oh, yell louder. Yeah. Either or. Brokeback Mountain also Calgary, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Wild, wild west. You shot it at your high school. Yeah, I went to high school in a ponderosa. Oh. Yeah, I went to Lord Beaverbrook. Oh, yes, I knew a few people that went to Lord Beaverbrook. Yeah, it was, I don't think it was particularly a great school, but. Yeah, fair.

Oh. Hee hee hee hee hee. It's Dave, your favorite Western. Oh, my favorite Western, I hee hee hee. Grrr. Dave, your favorite Western? Oh, my favorite Western? I don't know. Inglourious bastard. Why, I gotta see some of these. I hated them when I was a kid and I was so turned off.

But I think- You're slow. I think I don't mind a, everyone seems to like that tombstone. I should check out tombstone. Ah, tombstone's a very, yeah. It's pivotal, yeah. Yeah.

It's a good classic. I liked sort of those handful they made in the 2000s. The 310 to Yuma, the True Grit. Yeah, Wild Wild West. Yep. Wild Wild West. Wild Wild West, yes. Shanghai Noon.

That actually, yeah. Shanghai Noon is great. Is it? Yeah. Never seen it, never seen it. No. There's a lot of Jackie Chan's catalog I haven't watched. Oh, Jackie Chan's catalog.

I grew up on that. Yeah. The Jackie Chan catalog, yeah. Did you know that, what is the one? Rummel in the Bronx was shot here? Stop. Yeah. Really? That's my favorite.

There's several scenes where you see mountains in the background. Okay, I gotta rewatch actually, because that one is, I did not. But there's about five things we talk about on this podcast. Jackie Chan. And one of them is the rumble of the Bronx,

we're shot here. The Bronx. It's a perfect movie. Graham, what's going on with you? Well, it's that time of year, it's getting colder, the leaves are falling more than they were. No much more. So you know what it is?

Flu season. Oh no. You don't have the flu, do you? the leaves are falling more than they were. So you know what it is? Flu season. Oh no. You don't have the flu, do you? No, I don't. And you know why? Because I got myself a flu shot. And while I was there, COVID shot.

And you know what? Do some polio, I said. You went away, yeah? Yeah. And then, you know, one of the ones that you have to get for a vacation. Oh, sure, Shingrix. No way, Shingrix is the single. Yeah, give me Shingrix. No way. Shingrix is the single. Yeah, give me Shingrix.

The hepatitis one is the one for vacation. And I just said, lay them out, all the needles and just... And just, you know what? Just lay, you know, powder them up and I'll snort them. Powder them up. At shoppers? Yeah. What did I get? Oh, I still need to get my, my doctor suggested I get the one they give little girls for HPV.

Oh, sure. Yeah, they're expanding it to me. To dudes? To adult men. Yeah. But it's a three, I just gotta find the time to get these three shots. Isn't that what happened to,

isn't that what Michael, was it Michael Douglas that got? Well, he got throat cancer. But then he said it was from- From that. From that. From oral sexing, Catherine Zeta-Jones. I believe he didn't name her.

I think he's- Wow, I mean, who could it have been? Well- Catherine Zeta- I think it might've been the 50 years before he met her as well. When he was- Well, that's 50 years of satisfied ladies,

if you ask me. Well, I mean, if he's any good. He might be just like, I don't know what I'm doing. That's the worst part. Just tap me on the head if I do you wrong. I might tap out at some point. Yeah, if I was asleep, don't wake me up. Spook me.

But I went to, you know how like all across Canada. Oh, by the way, I got mine as well today. Yeah. Check out my. Oh. Doesn't hurt. What? Doesn't hurt.

Did you get two. Two jabs. But two. Aw, you still have little happy faces, little smiles at each other. Oh sure. That's fun. Yeah. But I went Two Jebs, yeah. Aw, you should do a little happy face, little smiles at each other. Oh sure. That's fun. Yeah.

But I went to, because like all across Canada, you got Chauvers Drug Mart, which is like drug store in name only and then like just stuff. Like just, you know, cosmetics to, you know, not desirable fruit. Lunch meat and like. Cereals and cookies and like a Beer glass that you can put in the freezer and it freezes. Yeah and like

And they're owned by just the best guy and he's a Canada's favorite guy. We all love him Galen Weston. Yeah He should use a neck strengthener pencil neck dweeb He's a neck strengthener. Pencil neck dweeb. No neck. Just wobbling. But that's a national chain. In Vancouver, we have London drugs.

It's something that's not across the country. Yeah, I know people have these. Because it's London, Ontario? No. It's sort of like Boston pizza is not named after. Yeah, I'll say that. New York fries as well. So we'll deal with that anyway.

Canada doesn't know what city's in. They just like, pick a city. Yeah. There was a store when I was a kid called San Francisco for no reason. Oh yeah, San Francisco, they had the weirdest shit in there. The weirdest shit in there.

Blow in the dark posters, weirdly sexual. Lots of sexual stuff. Sexual like- Penis cups. Yeah, and like rude gifts for your boss. Yeah, like a pasta that was like pecoroni. Yeah, you've got it. A lot of like birthday cards that were like,

my wife's a bitch. Happy birthday. Wasn't even the wife's birthday just offside. Those sold out though. Yeah, so I didn't go to either of those. I went to a smaller pharmacy that was, and this is very weird because I didn't go to either of those. I went to a smaller pharmacy that was, and this is very weird because I haven't gone to one in years and years, just a pharmacy.

Was it Pharmaseve? It was, and it's just, there's no magazines. Do you know the jingles for all these stores? Save more with Pharmaseve. Live well with Pharmaseve. London Drugs, nobody does it better? Yeah, or who was Shoppers Drug Mart, we do it better than London Drugs. Shoppers Drug Mart, everything you want in a drug store.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But going into a pharmacy that has no. London Drugs is also a pharmacy in name only because they have a big electronic section and they famously now have these decorative like lawn decorations, like basically the equivalent of a garden gnome, but it's a banana that's a duck.

Yeah. And also an avocado that's a cat, was one that came out. I'm gonna get a little run in drugs. Yeah. Oh, I mean, any chance I get, I'll want one. Nobody does it better. Yeah, this is what I hear.

But a pharmacy is just- Look at my photos developed there. Do you? Okay, where else would you go? How whimsical of you. But yeah, this is just, they only have medicine. There's no fun things. So you're supposed to kind of like hang out a little bit

after you get the vaccine. So I explored the mall, you see. And this mall I used to go to pretty regularly. That's where my physiotherapist was. What mall? City Center Mall. Oh yeah. What physiotherapist?

I can't remember her name, Cindy? Cindy. Yeah. She was great. But then I found another one and you know how it goes. Hi, Dom. Dare telling me. Yeah, the heart wants what it wants.

I thought you were gonna say she was great, but now my body's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she fixed it too well. She did a too good a job. Yeah, if anything, she made me stronger than I ever could have imagined. She gave me this neck exerciser. Beefed it out.

But yeah, so I walked around the mall, just seeing, what's new? They got a Daiso there now. Love a Daiso. Yeah, wander around there for a bit. They got a really good dollar store. So dollar, I think Dollarama. Dollarama.

Dollarama. Dollarama. So I went in there, I bought us, as we're recording this, this is before Halloween, I bought a spooky necklace and a wig. Oh! All for under $5. See, where are you gonna find a better deal than that?

Not, nowhere. Nowhere, truly nowhere. So, and I wander around there and then- Oh, you know what I bought at Dollarama? You made me buy it too. Which? Because it was right by the checkout. It was a lighter with Blink 182 on it. Oh, yeah, there were Foo Fighters ones there and I-

Foo Lighters. Yeah. Okay. I don't listen to them anymore because of his infidelity. I know, but- I only liked them when they were fidelity. Yeah, I only like rock stars who never cheated on their words. Right?

Thank God all the other ones are good. I would have anything to listen to. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's true. If you just had bands where there was no groupies, I mean, what band are you listening to? Well, you're probably listening to a female band. You're probably at Lilith Fair or any female led band. Do you, cause when did Lilith Fair come out?

Do you cheat on your partner? All the time, all the time. And if he's listening? I just remember hearing a kid talk about Lilith Fair. Like it was this thing that was way in the past and isn't incredible. I'm like, yeah, it's weird that's past. It was a phase.

There was like women in song, Lilith Fair, and Sarah McLaughlin was out here. Yeah, you heard it here first. It was just a phase, girl. It was a phase. Get back in the kitchen. Women in song, number one gift for your mom on Mother's Day or birthday.

Oh, certainly. Moms and daughters alike bonded to the soft tones of jewel. Jewel. Meredith Brooks mentioned earlier. Or maybe Sean Colvin, Colby Kaye. Maybe, that's right. These are all the hits. Adult entertainers.

These are all the hits. Yeah. You know what? I bet you they didn't have on Little With Fair. Oh. It doesn't seem like it would mix with the rest of the gang. On Little With Fair, no, but maybe on Women in Slut, no, maybe not. Maybe not. It'd be different. It'd be a departure. It would be. I would mix with the rest of the gang. On Lilith Fair? No, but maybe on Women in Song. No, maybe not.

It would be different. It would be a departure. I would sneak that in as a bonus track. Women in Song? What song would you throw in there? Malibu is the most... That's gotta be the... That's the party track. That's the one I request.

But that's the more like... Oh, this could be on any radio station. It's the I request. But that's the more like, kind of like, oh, this could be on any radio station. Yeah, yeah, it's kind of fun. It's the crossover hit. The Beach Boys could have sung it. I think they did. But the mall's doing great. It's got some new, the Daiso was new. That was new to me.

The Dalarama, that was new. Yeah. What's the name of the grocery store now? Used to be Safeways now? Sun Given Foods. Sun Given Foods. Sun Given. Oh, like, you know what?

Now that I think about it, that's a beautiful title. Because the sun has giveth you some food. Yeah. That makes sense. It's not sun-giveth though. Well, it should be. Okay. Agreed.

Now I gotta open a grocery store right beside it. Good food court too. Good food court, A&W holding it down. Used to have beard papas. Oh yeah, no more beard papa. Used to have beard papas. Oh yeah, no more beard papa. But I went to the phone case desk to get a new glass thing on my,

cause it was all crap. He remembered me and he was like, I remember this not sticking very well before. And I was like, yeah, I remember that too. He's like, is this refurbished? I was like, yeah. He's like, it just never sticks as well in the refurbished. So we had a nice little back and forth.

He remembered me from back, this is years ago. Now you don't do your own glass protector? No, I don't trust myself. Oh, okay. Yeah, they come, usually come in like a two or three pack and you waste one. Yeah, one to practice. Do you have glass protector on yours?

Oh, my friend, I don't have any protector. No glass, no case right now. Yeah. It is like, I've never felt more alive in my life. You're raw dogging it. I'm raw dogging it in life. I literally. Are you dropping this phone?

All the time. Yeah. And then I'm like, oh, is today the day? And then I pick it up and it's fine. And I'll never learn. I think they're just making them better. They used to, everyone used to get cracked all the time. I remember one broke. I was walking, it was like winter day

and it just fell out of my hands and landed face down. I was like, this is it. You knew it. I turned it over, smashed to bits. Did you still use it though? No, it was like, it was literally what chopped up your finger if you. Yeah.

I was like, this is instantly useless. And yeah, then I had to just go on Craigslist and find the first phone I could get to meet somebody out of food court. Lots of witnesses, lots of witnesses you want, you know, who's gonna show up. They don't know who I am when they showed up. Now that mall also, there's a scene in the movie,

Fear with Mark Wahlberg. What? Where they, you know, he beats someone up in the bathroom. That small? Yep. They should put little signs everywhere that says that. I mean, I think maybe in the bathroom. It'd be nice to know.

It'd be nice if there was a post there that was signed by Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. Michael Wahlberg, I kicked the shit out of someone in this toilet. Have a good shit. Yeah, in the little bit, yeahdo. Michael Hallberg. I kicked the shit out of someone in this toilet. Have a good shit. Yeah, in the little bag, yeah. Have a good shit.

Have a good shit. Keep reaching for the stars. Keep following your dreams. Have a good shit. Not to be confused with the guy I beat up in real life. No, no, no, no. Also, 9-11 would be different if I was there. Such a long quote.

He's got so many bangers. He really does. Also, I go to bed at 7.30 so I can wake up at two in the morning and pray. Yes, I know. Never hang out with his kids. I think he's got like an hour of that. Yeah, if that.

If that, I think I'm being generous actually. I don't think- He's trying to make another Ted sequel. Mm-hmm. He's gotta cool it. Yeah, and then like, I'm trying to think of what else. There was another thing in the mall. You're telling me what was at the mall?

The thing that was conspicuously absent. There was, for a long time, there was some sort of hair and esthetician training school. It was up at the top of the escalator. But Carrie's putting them out of business. Yeah. Gone rogue. Yeah. Yeah. This was every other time I would go to the mall,

there would be people walking around with like brand new bold looks. Yeah, like cluffs. Cluffs and just makeup. Blow outs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Glamour shots. Gonna give you a kicky new do.

I was always curious about getting a hairdo at a- Put your beard blown out. I should. Blown a, do some, you know, do some curls. Do something with it. Get some your beard blown out. I should. Yeah, blown out, do some, you know? Do something with it. Do some curls, get some, you know. Yeah. Straighten them.

Get like a nice straight. Just straight. Stick straight. Yeah, I don't know, is that, should I? Yes. Yes, Dave said yes. Yes. Okay guys, I'm getting bangs.

Yolo it. I'm straight bearded. Ah! You ready to go first? My bangs would be so far up on my forehead. I mean, the beard is the bangs of the chin. So, you know, matching right on top. So like a little.

Yeah. I don't know how you do that. I don't know. I gotta figure that out. You have to glue hair to my. You have to. Yeah. That's what they do. I don't have a lot of real estate to play with.

Up top, it's mostly Marshall land and then on the back. Sure, there's hair on the back, but you can't. What good is that? Yeah. You know, nobody's looking on the back. Sure, there's hair on the back, but you can't, what good is that? Yeah. You know, nobody's looking at your back. No. Except maybe people on an elevator anyways.

Yeah, well, I mean, your wife was looking back in anger. Ha ha ha, which you've asked her not to. I've asked her not to. Yeah, but anyways, City Center Mall, just go there, take it in. We talk about Kingsgate Mall all the time. We do. Sometimes Metro Town will drop a mention. City Center never gets the love.

City Center, is it called City Square? Maybe City Square, City Square, yeah. So that's part of the problem here. We don't have a clear nomenclature for this. It's in this city and somewhere in the middle. Yeah, but we're not sure what it's called. It's right next to City Hall. Used to be the City Hall, apparently.

Okay. The mall? Yeah. That's why if you go in there, there's like all these like weird rock pillars. Oh yeah, they do have a lot of like plaques. Like Mark Wahlberg was here. This also, this pillar used to be the City Hall.

Classic. Amy, you work for Vancouver Magazine. Maybe, I think the people are begging for a ranking of all the malls in town. You know what's so funny is that Stacy McLaughlin, another shout out to Stacy, wrote a story about Tinseltown Mall and it kind of went viral a little bit.

Because it was kind of that. It's like, what the heck is this mall? How does it exist? Blah, blah, blah. So that's my favorite. Sally and I were chatting about that very article because we were in the Sinseltown Mall. That's where you saw the substance?

Yeah. Yeah, me too. But it's like, one of the escalators there smelled like garbage. Yeah. I don't know what happened. Maybe somebody spilled garbage all over it. Yeah, that's probably.

Oh boy. And then the garbage gets stuck in the gears. Now it's actually integral to how it runs. Yeah. It's not the irony. They can't take the garbage out. That's kind of sort you know, integral to how it runs. Yeah. That's the irony, you can't take the garbage out. That's kind of sort of what the substance is about. Oh, spoilers.

But yeah, check out your local mall. Check out your local mall that's not like the mall. Yeah, go to a- Not that mall, that other mall. Go to the other mall that's mostly like doctor's offices. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hot yoga. What was your mall in Calgary?

Mall in Calgary, help. I mean. Your go-to, where'd you spend the most mall time? Probably Sunridge Mall. Sunridge. Is that crazy? Yeah, I worked at that mall. What'd you do?

I worked at Starbucks. Okay, class. Yeah, I was in high school. So I'd got literally work and then go with my latte and like probably some croissant and go to school. So you would work before school? I know, because I had a free period. What time did your shift start?

Early, like five. The mall was open at five. Not the mall. The Starbucks. We had an outside entrance. Outside entrance. Yeah, but also. But then when the mall opened, we were in the mall.

But also you also like get to work before the Starbucks opens. Yeah. Right? Yeah. You can't just be unlocking it. Okay, folks. Everybody file in. Sometimes that happens.

But then I'd say, wait, everybody, I need a minute. Yeah. I'm only, were you there alone or do you have the workers? No, you have, you legally had to have two. Good. Yeah. And especially if one of them was a child. Yeah.

Yes. You're now. There's a minimum of two children have to work. Two children. Yeah. South Center, that was mine. South Center. Oh yeah, I always forget about that one too.

Yeah. Had the Eatons on one side, Bay on the other. What? Eatons in the Bay though. Yeah. I remember those Titans. Yeah, I mean the Bay is still with us. The Bay, well, who knows for how long.

That's true. You've been in the Bay lately? It's like, most times. Yeah, but I feel like they're a big company. Corporation and they own like, Saks Fifth Avenue as well. Like their parent company owns a bunch of things. And they, boy, you wanna talk about escalators

and out of shape. Every other escalator broken elevator only kind of holds like four or five people. Are you talking the bay? The bay. Oh yeah. See, they're not repairing it. Do they have?

Which I feel is a bad sign. Isn't there's like lots of empty space. Nobody really works there. They just kind of meander and they don't make eye contact with you. It's very hard to find someone if you need to check out like to find a till that's open. Yeah, I remember walking out of a change room and just like, no one was around.

I was like, is the mall closed? And then I just kind of walked out. I was like, I guess I'm leaving. And then you were like, I can't leave. I'm a mannequin all of a sudden. I'm a mannequin. And then that night I would come to life. And I was Kim Cattrall.

That's the mannequin one I chose. Yeah, absolutely. Of the mannequin That's the mannequin one I chose. Yeah, absolutely. Of the mannequin. Of the mannequin. There's a few, right? I think there was a time when that genre was. Like a mannequin coming to life.

Well, mannequin was the movie. Mannequin, was it there? And then there was mannequin two, and then maybe that's it. There was a kids television show. Today's special. Today's special. That was the way that one was.

Yeah, he was a mannequin that would turn into a person if he took his hat off. The hat came off, he became human, which is so precarious in a mall because that hat could come off pretty easy. Oh yeah, and he could pull that hat off and then what he got, daytime man. And then Kim Control was all like,

a squeeba da ba deeble. She does that as scat. Yeah, she does. I'm wrong. People say scat, she never scats. It's not scat. I'm wrong. People say scat. She never scats. She's doing beat poetry. The he-dog's been the she-dog.

Then why'd she call Kim Scattrell? Okay. This is good. There it is. There it is. Do you guys want to move on to some over-heard? Scribbly-doo. Squee-de-doo.

Somewhere in an alternate universe where Hollywood is smarter. And the Emmy nominees for Outstanding Comedy Series are Jet Pakula, Airport Marriott, Frepple, Dear America We've Seen You Naked, and Allah in the family In our stupid universe You can't see any of these shows, but you can listen to them on Dead Pilot Society The podcast that brings you hilarious comedy pilots that the networks and streamers bought but never made Journey to the alternate television universe of Dead Pilot Society on MaximumFun.org. Oh darling, why won't you accept my love? My dear, even though you are a duke, I could never love you.

You... you borrowed a book from me and never returned it! Save yourself from this terrible fate by listening to Reading Glasses. We'll help you get those borrowed books back and solve all your other reader problems. Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Overheard! Overheard! Overheard's section of the show where, boy oh boy, isn't it fun to hear things and see things as well?

Or, you know what, on the rare occasion, dream something. We always like to start with a guess. Carrie, do you have an overheard? I do. It's, I'll admit it, it's a dated one, so it happened in the past. That's fine. But it lingers still. It's still, I think about it every now and again.

Speaking of lingers, does this room just become smelly? Excuse me? Yeah. Excuse me. I feel like someone is either cooking something upstairs or the house is on fire. Oh. Oh.

Oh, I don't know. All right. Okay, well. I'm pretty, I'm pretty keen nose. Yeah. You grilling something? Yeah. There we go on. Okay. Sorry. No, now I I'm pretty keen nose. Yeah. You grilling something? Yeah. There we go on.

Okay. Sorry. No, now I'm consumed by what the smell is. That's fine, I'll figure it out later. So, I lost my train of thought. I am the worst. No, no, no, no. You're saying the old.

I'm back. Yeah. So I used to live in a house with Allie actually. Oh yeah. This guy's Allie Entwistle. Yeah, shout out. Antiple as I like to call her. We have fun. Well, she's a little piss head.

And we, my special little piss head, we lived together. It was a very rambunctious time. It was also, you know, obviously COVID and all that stuff happened. This is how far back. And we had our, our landlord was interesting. Sure. Vancouver's full of them. Truly interesting though. But we need them.

They're our best of friends. I guess, yeah. They're holding up society. Currently, yes. And Ali wasn't there, but I was just at home puttering as I do. And I could overhear, um, hey, that's the, that's exactly what I was doing.

And I could overhear he, cause we were downstairs. It wasn't underground, but it was below him because he lived upstairs. I could hear him having a conversation with his then girlfriend or something. And it was basically like, I could, I was like in the room with them and she was the part I heard that led me in, cause it was like, like, I could, I was like in the room with them. And she was, the part I heard that led me in, cause it was like, quite often was, don't be mad at me.

I read your computer. Are you cheating on me? Oh. And yeah, cup to the, you know, heater, I was in the room with them. They didn't know I was there, but I was there. Because I could tell he was gaslighting her. Yeah. Because she was apologizing. First of all, I know he was cheating because I saw another

girl. He was cheating. Yeah. I saw another girl because I was always like, not that I'm like sitting there watching his comings and goings, but like we kind of have almost the same entrance and stuff. So I could just hear when people are coming and going. And I was like, oh, I guess that was her and stuff. And he was basically saying, no, I didn't, denying it, even though I knew I had the receipts. And then he was basically pivoting and making her out to be the crazy one for reading his private computer screen. And she was like, no, well, I didn't mean to, but she was trying to refocus it. Yeah, and I was just like the whole time, I was basically like whispering in the heater, like, it's true, don't,

and I could tell she was apologizing more. He made it so that she had to apologize for like overstepping and the privacy thing, even though it wasn't the issue of conversation, I was just literally listening to the mastermind of gaslighting. That is so good. What a good move. And I was just like, literally, Ali came home

and I told her everything. I was in her room, she knows this, on a chair listening because I was that engrossed. Whatever I was supposed to be doing that afternoon was done. I was in the room with her. You were supposed to be puttering. And I was, yeah, which I made up for later that evening. My God, it was juicy, it was salacious.

That's amazing. It was like, I've, and it's so weird because I could never really hear their conversations, but that one I was, maybe it's because it was so intriguing, my brain just like, whoop. Yeah. Did you, man, so this was during a lockdown? It was a little, it was definitely,

it was kind of COVID era, but not, we weren't like fully- It would have been hard to cheat. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Well, that sounds kind of the same thing, I think. But I bet this guy would find a way. He did, he really did. He was interesting.

He liked to do that. Yeah, fucking weirdo. Literally the first time we met him, we needed a place though. We went and like both went to sign. How did they get you? And he like dropped the hard R word in it, like casually.

And we were both just like, what? Yeah. And then we're just like, haha. But we needed a place to live. So obviously that wasn't a deal breaker. Well, there's a, you know, rules don't apply. Hey, you know, everyone's gotta live somewhere.

When you own a place. When you own a place felt that way though. We were kind of just like, sure. Graham, can I ask you, is that the screen protector you just had put on? Yeah, it's got bubbles in it. Yeah, you may wanna. I got a receipt.

You gotta go back to that guy. I got a receipt, but I didn't have time to go to it between ya and ya. Dave, do you have an overword? Oh yeah, I do. Mine's an overseen. I was downtown today. I was on Robson Street, Canada's largest shopping street.

Outdoors, yeah. And I was turning the corner and I saw a restaurant that I had never seen before and it is called 9-Eleven Pizza. Whoa! What? Okay. It is.

Pearl Harbor Pizza. 9-Eleven Pizza. Oh, stop. And everything, it's got, so in fairness, $9.11 pizza. Yeah, but very specific. Yeah. Why pick that price? Why?

Everything on the menu is $9.11. Maybe with tax it comes to an even 10. Yeah, and like- But we're not making change, but- Right. Oh, yeah, they're always like, oh, sorry, I don't have anything. Yeah. And they're like, sorry, I don't have anything.

And they're like, oh, we can't break this. But they do in fairness have a sort of a police crest for, so maybe it's 911 pizza. Oh, that's fun. Is it? I think either way, either way you slice it. But I was like, I haven't been downtown in a while. And is that a good price?

9-Eleven for? For everything on the menu? A slice and just one slice? No, it's- The whole pizza? The whole pizza of a certain size. A small pizza, I think. That's kind of the two ways it can go.

It's like either an expensive, really nice slice or a gross whole pizza. Yeah. It's sort of the Little Caesars model. Yeah. $5 taken. Hot and ready. Hot and ready.

Hot and ready, yeah. It wasn't fresh. They say hot and ready. I lived around the corner from Little Caesar for a while. What about that crazy bread? I know, it was killing me. You know what I mean? Oh, it's neat.

Having a hot and ready at any time of the day. It shouldn't be that hot and ready at all times. Exactly. I'll say it. Give me a second, you know? Yeah, give me a buffer. Give me a buffer. Before I'm in pizza town. Sorry we're not ready here, but come back later.

Yeah, do a lap. Just yeah, exactly, let me just refresh and kind of, you know. Why pick 9-11? Oof. It's so hot. Because it doesn't have the same ring as 9-12, just doesn't do anything.

Didn't land. Yeah. We ran all the models and this is just the price that works best, but also any store like this with inflation, are you gonna be 9-11 pizza any year? Always one of that. Yeah. I mean dollar stores.

They're not dollars. When I first came to Vancouver, it was 87 years ago. To the day. Dollar slice, there used to be a dollar slice. Bucket slice. Bucket slice too was considered out of this world. Do you find now you're an old man when you remember old prices, you're like,

damn, old people used to always talk about how the bus cost one cent. Yeah, and it's like a friend said that you're constantly pointing at buildings and saying that used to be a bank. That's like an old person thing to do. I think that's a threshold that I'm not at yet. You're not at yet? Thank God, because I don't.

What does a bus ride take? I know everybody who rides heard just like a $3.75. $3.75, I think it went up a little. I load my card and I don't pay attention to how much. I do the same thing. Yeah, I'm just like. When I first took the bus to school as a little child, 60 cents. Nice.

Now you know what it costs for kids? Free. Yeah. Works the other way. Went the other way. We just have to be children. I'm one at heart. So, like, can I have children prices?

That and you're holding it. You know, the children's menu. I got a permit from the city. Yeah. Anyway, 9-Eleven Pizza, check it out. It's got a Michelin star. Oh, congratulations. Good for them.

Good for them, hot and Michelin star. Yeah, boy. I hope one of those hot, right? How about you, Graham? How are you doing for over-herbs? Oh, I'm doing okay, I guess. Did we record yesterday? Yes.

Yes. So when I was in our nation's capital, Ottawa, I was staying at a hotel that had a pool. Craig. Yeah, huge, right? You went in? No, didn't bring trunks. Never even think about it until I get there.

Doesn't mean you don't need trunks. That's true, yeah. That's where we're going, we don't need trunks. Sir, you need to put on trunks. We'll see. Sue me. And they do. They do.

Yeah, they ruin my life. Yeah. Sued for nude. Sued nude. But one of the great things about being in a hotel where there's a pool is you get on the elevator, there's people in is you get on the elevator, there's people in their swimsuits. Yeah, you're like, where are you guys?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was it. That was the little snippet that I heard was there's two kids going to the pool and a woman and she just said, you know, excited for the pool. And they were like, yeah. So it was just a fun little slice of life. Fun place of life.

Yeah, because there's those floors where it's like, pool is, you have to go down one level to get to the pool. And you'll just follow the scent of chlorine. Yes, oh, when you get on an elevator where they're coming back from the pool. Or where the door opens to that floor. It's like a wall of humidity hits you.

Yeah, moisture and screams. Let's start packing the trunks from now on. Take advantage of these pools. I've been doing this emergency bathing sim. Go on. You know, plan for the life you want. I'd like to encounter water. So if I prepare for it.

So this is when traveling or just in day? When traveling, when- You keep one in your bag at all times. In my trunk, my car, and no. Actually I used to, but I don't have a car right now. Yeah, sometimes I'll even wear it. I crashed it when I was driving all wet from the pool. Oh no, and you just left the scene.

You're too embarrassed, ashamed. I couldn't hit the brakes in my flip flop. But the cop was like, somebody was just having fun. This one, yeah. Somebody was just at the pool. There's a pool noodle at the scene. There's a trail of wet footprint. Now we also have overheard sent in to us

by people all over the world. If you want to send one in, send it in to SPY at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Alexa from Montreal. And this is perfect because it's about swimming. Oh my god. Okay, let me put it in my trunks. I was camping last weekend.

I was sitting by the lake one evening watching the sunset. There were two tween boys swimming nearby, and they started challenging each other to do different things, holding their breath longer, underwater handstands, et cetera. One of the boys won a challenge and called out to a man sitting in the chair on the beach reading a book who mildly said, oh, nice. And the boy said, ugh, dad, you missed it. All you care about is reading your book and drinking cider.

You have two loves and neither of them are your sons. As a parent, I can just say it's like, when they get ya, they get ya. Hey, cut to the core. Cut to the core, the apple is making the cider, okay? Do you, is that part of fatherly life, having to watch, hey dad, watch this, check this out. Do you have it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very good, very good. I'm into it. Yeah, then do you do some for them? Check this out. Yeah, normally I'm like, I can do better into it. Yeah. Yeah, then do you do some for them? You know, I'm normally I'm like I can do better than that I'm pretty scared. Oh, no, I can't go off the diving board. I think I heard my mom calling me This next one comes from Julie from Kennewick, Washington. Was at the thrift store.

Made up. And there were a couple of bros in the next aisle. Well, she's written before, I think. Oh, has she? Yeah, it's one of the Tri-Cities. Julie from Kennewick. Regular. Was at the thrift store,

there were a couple of bros in the next aisle. One guy held up a couple of shirts to get his friend's opinion. And the other guy said, to play devil's asshole, neither would work on you. Oh! That is- That is the expression as I understand it. Well, if he's being devil's advocate, it doesn't work, but as devil's asshole, it kind of works.

On the money, yeah. Yeah, like he is, he has an opinion on it. Yeah. Of being devil's asshole. If it was- Being a little asshole about it. Yeah, well, I guess there's no devil's advocate in that situation.

No, it's just the devil's being an asshole, but you're sure. And it was- Being a little asshole about it. Yeah, well, I guess there's no devil's advocate in that situation. No, it's just the devil's being an asshole, but you're sure. And then he gave kind of an asshole opinion. Yeah, exactly. The devil's advocate is when- I'm pretending I'm saying the thing. It's not my actual opinion.

Yeah. I'm like, what if- Reluctantly saying the counterpoint of an argument. Whereas I think devils- Not even reluctantly. So I'm taking a little bit of joy in it. I feel like, what if- Reluctantly saying the counterpoint of an argument. Whereas I think devils- Not even reluctantly. So I'm taking a little bit of joy. I feel like they pretend they're like, oh, if I must, but then they relish in it.

Whereas devil's asshole, you just, you launch right into it. Yeah. And devil's advocate is a movie with Keanu Reeves and- Al Pacino? Al Pacino. Devil's asshole starred- Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro.

Robert Phoenix. Dennis Wade. Robert Phoenix. Niro, and Dennis Quaid. Robert De Niro. And Randy Quaid. Randy Quaid is in there. He was the asshole in that film. This last one comes from David C. from Davis, California. That looks kind of fun.

David and David. He gets it every day. Yeah, he's like, I hate it. I went to the Outside Lands musical festival a few weeks ago the gates were open But before the music started I was walking across the field of the main stage and heard these two guys talking about a third person One was definitely less sober than the other one guy says oh wow did you see that guy? Yeah, dude? I didn't know him, but he just had a beautiful soul and energy

He's just got all good vibes loving loving life and his friends cut him off. I mean, I guess, but he was also dressed like a fucking bird. Dude, how high are you? And as a footnote, there was a guy wearing a brown feather vest and had a white feather hood, so he looked like an eagle. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that's kind of a, that's a lot.

And festivals, I feel like have people sometimes are like, I'm gonna be the guy everyone recognizes. Yeah, that's kind of a that's a lot and festivals. I feel like have People sometimes are like I'm gonna be the guy everyone recognizes. Yeah. Yeah, you're making choices. You're swinging for the fences Yeah, I think I mean you talk about that's what's burning man. People are building entire fucking cars and houses and shit Yeah, I don't know. Is that even a festival or is it just a or is it just a way of life? A way of life. Yeah. It's an essence. Well, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.

If you wanna call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, Spypod one, like these people have. Hi, Graham and Dave. Go on. And possible guests. This is Zadera in Atlanta with an overheard. So I was on my way to work probably or somewhere and after school in this like downtown area where I live and people hang out. So these kids were hanging out and one of them is saying to the other one, well, he definitely killed those kids. And the other one goes, mm-hmm, yeah.

And then the first one goes, but he didn't eat the kids. And that's an important distinction. Very important. And the other one goes, yeah, it is. And that's what I heard. From a legal point of view. Yeah. Oh yeah. And then you ate the children?

No, no, no. No, no, no. I'm not a witch from Hansel and Gretel. What am I, the freaking Jack and the Beanstalk guy? Giant. The giant? The big guy? Jack?

The particular Jack? No, Jack didn't eat kids. Well, we know. We don't know. Yeah, it wasn't. It's proven innocent. Yeah, I guess. We don't know. Yeah, it wasn't. It's proven innocent. Yeah, I guess. I mean.

Wow. That's like. Good, good. They're not eating the kids. It's like. Or is that a waste of a kid? Oh, waste not want not. This is gross.

I'm just gonna take the devil's advocate here. I'd be like, would it be so wrong? That's more of a devil's asshole. That's kind of a devil's asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's more devil's asshole. That's kind of a devil's asshole over here. Yeah, it's more devil's asshole. I mean, devil's advocate would be though, like, is that not cool? Is it wasting the kid to not?

Yeah. Fair enough. Devil's asshole would be a great fuck. Devil's advocate is not a good advocate. No. No. Like, you know what? Be around that guy.

No. Hate that guy. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave. Graham, probably again. Yeah, I'm gonna... Nailed it. Every time. How's that?

It didn't go through the other day and I had to fill out like a new set of paperwork because COVID's coming back. Are you in the same room as your phone? I think I knew it was a min on the paperwork, but it said, have you ever met someone with the following symptoms? And the symptoms were diarrhea, headache, cough.

And I checked no, and really wanted to write in none. Never even heard of it. I checked no and then really wanted to write in none. Never even heard of it. I didn't know anybody with a cough or diarrhea. Never. Have you ever met someone with diarrhea? Not that I know of. Nah, not on purpose. Yeah, not on purpose.

Not like, I'm not looking. I was suspicious once, but. Yeah. Of the diarrhea or the cough? Well, one can lead to the other suspicious once, but. Yeah. Of the diarrhea or the cough. Well, one can lead to the other. No, if you do, hey. Yeah, you don't watch out. There was this one guy coughing up diarrhea.

Oh. I thought it, that's what I thought. We need that guy. I thought it was a guy coughing up diarrhea, but it was a Wendy's frosty machine. Oh. It's very similar. That happens.

Yeah, that's awesome. All right. Final phone call. Hi, Dave, Graham, and probable guest. This is Andreas from Upstate New York. I was in downstate New York in New York City and I was behind some finance bros and one of them said, so the exterminator said, you can just step on it. And I was like, dude, that's your job.

Okay, that's it. Honestly, fair. Yeah. That's airtight. Yeah. What did I hire you for? What are you trained to do here, sir? Why are you here? Yeah, like the idea of like calling an exterminator.

Can you come step on this cockroach? It's really big though. You come over right away, there's a spider in the looks of- Bring boots. Yeah, bring boots. And maybe a weapon, I don't know. And some toilet paper, I don't have any toilet paper.

And a sandwich, okay, you know? Yeah, if you're out there anyways. Yeah, if you're out, if you're driving. If you don't mind stopping by Subway and getting me one of those footlong cookies. Hit it up, oh, footlong cookies? Have you not heard about this? No. Oh my gosh. You don't know Subway and get me one of those footlong cookies. I did not. Footlong cookies? Have you not heard about this? No.

Oh my gosh. You don't know Subway. I don't. They only got two booms on the boom meter though. The Costco double chunk chocolate cookie gets five booms. Oh, okay. Yes. This is like an online, the Rizzler.

Well, the Rizzler's involved too, but big justice in AJ. I need it. At this point, at the time of this recording, they're blowing up, but by the time this episode comes out, they've already, a scandal's erupted. Maybe. Real milkshake back situation. Yeah.

I hope he doesn't eat those kids. Oh, God. Well, they gotta stop dosing themselves in chocolate all the time. They're begging for it, having all these kids and cookies in the same location. Sure. would it be better if he ate the kids alive you didn't even a legal sample yeah you never killed the kids your honor they were alive when I ate them oh you show me in the rulebook yeah exactly right and

also there's a dog being a lawyer at this trial come on and he's shooting three-pointers in the Mickey is Jack and the Beanstalk. Yeah. Is that the one where they eat the big bean? Yeah. Oh yeah. And then he climbs up the beanstalk and the giant gets them and does he hold them in his hand and he pushes his head down with his finger in his fist

in my picture. Yeah. And then doesn't he roll a cigarette or something with him in it? Yeah, that might be it. Yeah. Yeah, I've a very, that Disney kind of like rolling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very, that era of cartoon.

I'd really go for a Mickey smoke right now. Oh, shit. Aw, please, I quit. Well, that brings us to the end of this podcast. Carrie, tell us where can people see you, where they can read you in Vancouver Magazine? That you can do. Yeah, Van Meg, you can,

I'm doing a monthly sketch show with brunch. And that is at Little Mountain? At Little Mountain Gallery, yes. Shoot, it would have been nice if I would have remembered when it was, but we do one every month. So, you know, one's coming up. Yeah.

You got to think. Dave's on the case. Yes, nice. There's a backend to up. Yeah. You got to think. Dave's on the case. Yes, nice. There's a back end to the site. There's got, yeah, we have the internet. Bingo. What else? Let me see, show schedule.

Show schedule, I know, I really sent you through it. And then we do treat show as well, so. What's that? That's an improv, improv comedy. We do it, we used to do it weekly, but we got tired. So now we're doing a monthly, which is- Weekly shows hard. Holy man, it's just, and we were doing,

and we do two shows, so it was weekly double shows. Yeesh is right. And that is Little Mountain as well? That's actually at the China Cloud Studios. Oh, China Cloud. So that's the first Saturday of the month. That one I know. If you're in Vancouver,

you've never been to the China Cloud. It's one of the coolest venues around. It's so cool. Yeah. You feel so cool getting to do it. Guys, I'm not going to find this. I made it up, okay? Are you happy?

Brunch at Little Mountain Gallery. Yeah. Brunch comedy. The website is just not... It's not working for you. You're going to rip into the IT guy, I'll tell you. Okay, give me a second. That's me, you guys.

Oh, well. Don't hack into my website. I put up firewalls for a reason. What about the website? I put let's give me a second. That's me, you guys. Oh, well. Don't hack into my website. I put up firewalls for a reason. What about the mainframe? Can I hack that? Oh, stay out of my mainframe.

Oh, fine. That'd be a good bumper sticker thing for a guy's computer. Stay out of my mainframe. Aw. You know what? I'll go to Brunch Comedy's Instagram page. Hey. There we go.

Here and see some some fun lighthearted content about two besties serving it up. It's currently out of date. It says tickets for the September 27th show. Why do we even try? I can't even plug it. Sounds like it's late in the month. There's one Friday, June 28th.

Yeah, that sounds about right. Are they usually Fridays? They kind of roll it out. Yes, they've been typically Fridays kind of roll it out, yes. They've been typically Fridays, so let's go with that. Okay, so a Friday in November. One of the later Fridays of the month. Could be coming up.

Could be coming up as this is released. Okay, now I'm definitely gonna cross reference with this. And listeners, you're still here. You look at your phones and you're like, well, there's one minute left in the show, I better stick around. Yeah. Does Dave crack the case? Is the last Friday of the month in November

gonna be brunch? Come on, Sherry. The 29th. 29th of November. My lucky number. At 9 p.m. Okay, 9 p.m. Little Mountain Gallery, 110 Water Street.

Thank you for being our guest. Thank you for having me. It was great. So happy I found it. Dave, thank you for finding it. Thank you for being our guest. Thank you for having me. It was great. So happy I found it. Dave, thank you for finding it. Thank you for having me. That was really well done. Thank you everybody out there for listening.

As you're listening, November's drawing to a close, so it's time to put that mistletoe up and start smooching everyone around you. So do so and come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.