Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 874 - Steev Letts

Episode Date: December 17, 2024

Comedian Steev Letts joins us to talk record stores, donairs, and funeral comedy. Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 874 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who just can't get enough of this bald wig he found, Mr. Dave Schumke. Yeah, I found it.

I know Abby tried to hide it from you, but you managed to find it. Abby, for one of her days of Halloween, she does the 12 days of Halloween. She was Uncle Fester. Yeah. And the wig is just mine for the taking. Yeah. Anyway, check it out on this week's Instagram post of our guest.

When I was a kid, my mom made Frankenstein hands for Frankenstein costume. And those ended up being an everyday thing in the house for the next 15 years. My mom made Frankenstein hands for Frankenstein costume. And those ended up being an everyday thing in the house for the next 15 years. My mom made Frankenstein hands. Yeah, cause it was Frankenstein. So it was like green with like hair on it, black nails. Made it like a pair of gloves that she altered or?

Yeah, that she altered, yeah. She took like green dishwash gloves. Oh, right. And put nails on them. And yeah, they ended up being in the just everyday fun thing to have around them. Also, like if there's hair on them, then it's like, do you say there was hair on them? Yeah, there was hair on them.

Yeah. I don't remember Frankenstein having a hairy hand. Well, different versions have different, uh, situations. I think of that as more of a wolfman thing. Yeah, that's true. Were they more wolfman? No, they were green like Frankenstein. But like the hairiness.

The hairiness. Well, you know. Or was it just a few stray hairs? Just a few gross stray hairs. Okay, where'd you get those? I don't want to say. Our guest today, first time guest here on the podcast, very funny comedian, hosts the show once a month called Confession Comedy.

He also has an album out called Burger Queen. It's Steve Letts, everybody. Hi fellas, thanks for having me. Hi Steve, welcome. What was like, what is your take on Frankenstein's hairiness? Well, first of all, I just wanna say, I've never heard a bald cap referred to as a wig before. Sure.

It's like, is a hot dog a sandwich? Like is a bald cap a wig? Bald wig, yeah. Oh, good to hear. It's like it's like it is a hot dog a sandwich like is a bald cap a bald wig. Yeah There's a like a hairnet is That you put under a wig like if you're wearing a wig you would put a little cap on right? Yes, is that a bald cap? No, no, that's just kind of holding everything. It's like a hairnet. Yeah I think drag queens use pantyhose before wicking up They put a stocking over or underneath before putting the wig on. Who called it a bald wig?

I did. Oh, okay. Yeah, I've heard of both. Yeah. I watched a video of how actors in theater can switch hairdos really quick, and the hair is kind of built on almost like pantyhose kind of thing so they can throw it on it looks like a natural part. I never knew how I did that.

I saw a video of someone showing like how a spy can go undercover and put on a fake beard and like two layers of beard and two layers of hair still looked fake as shit though. What would you say? Well, let's get to know us. Yeah. Get to know us. Do you, have you seen these Mission Impossible movies where they just pull off an entire face? Oh yeah, I've seen these movies. Love.

Yeah. They can't overuse that. Like they have to do it once or twice a movie, but if they do it like five or six times, it just gets too much. Yeah. It's just funny the amount of money and CGI that goes into essentially doing a Scooby Doo gag. Yes.

I love it. I like when it's the cheap version where you see the person like, okay, I'm tugging on my face, and then it cuts to something else, and then it comes in and it's a rubber mask being pulled off. Right. Because yeah, doing that reveal, that's a lot of, I could have saved Vision Impossible all sorts of money if they had had me on there.

Well, how so? I was like, cause you don't need the CGI of me pulling off my face and it being another face underneath. You just have it for shot from behind and have somebody looking at it and be like, oh my God. And then- I don't think it's much CGI.

I think it always is that cheap gag of like, just they walk in front of the camera and then it's someone else taking off the I uh, well, I stand corrected. I do like it because it it Gets everyone in the mix everyone gets to act. Yeah Yeah, I think rames has a has had a solid career based on that movie franchise alone. Paula Patton's thick. Absolutely Yeah paying bills off those movies. Which ones was she in?

There's been like eight or nine at this point, so I'm not sure. But she was in a few of them, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. Though I think I might have missed those ones. I saw the second one, and five, six, and seven. Have you seen them all?

In the background, there are kind of movies that are on as cleaning the house kind of thing Yeah, I couldn't like I couldn't tell you the specific plot points of like Ghost Protocol or Rogue Nation, although I do I guess I do the name stick but that's about it. Yeah, he Was not a guy. I'd never paid attention to Tom Cruise I never liked because he was too much was him in a movie right? Oh, there's Tom Cruise. It's Tom Cruise I never liked because he was too much it was him in a movie right oh there's Tom Cruise it's Tom Cruise he's not whatever character but then I watched what was it called the Edge of Tomorrow yeah I thought he was so funny and I was like maybe I'm wrong about Tom Cruise and I went back and I yeah I

admit I was wrong about Tom Cruise and you weren't watched everything he's ever done I think he's great he's such a movie star for a reason. It's a. And Top Gun Maverick was great. It was great. It was so, so good. And like, I think it's also just kind of an interesting study. And like, if you just like keep your head down and keep working, cause the crazy around Tom Cruise, the couch jumping era of Tom Cruise is like, there's no way he's ever coming back from this.

And then, you know, cut to 2022 or three or whatever. And it's like, wow, this guy single-handedly saved the theater experience totally and then also like uh did you see the closing ceremonies at the olympics yeah uh i know that he was in it but i don't think i saw it but he was like he like came down on a zip line into the stadium and it was just like nobody can do it like it man he brought the flame to america a motorcycle. Yeah, and then the Red Hot Chili Peppers played a song. Yeah, the closing ceremonies are always kind of a letdown. Totally. Because they do have a little concert.

I think ours at the Vancouver Olympics was Nickelback? Oh yeah, that tracks. I think it was Nickelback and Neil Young, but Neil Young went first. And I was like, who, what are we doing? Come on. Neil Young's opening for Nickelback. Come on, you guys. Were you here during the 2010 Olympics?

I was, I worked at Bridges restaurant on Granville Island. Oh, seafood restaurant. House of Switzerland, uh, was bought out by the Swiss. So there were just bowls of Lindt chocolate everywhere. And like, uh, Stephen Colbert came and filmed the segment where they did fondue pong and he didn't even end up using it for a show, which was such a let down. But, uh, having been in Vancouver for a lot of

years, it was so like refreshing and lovely to be like, Oh, the city can be fun, you know, cause we have a reputation for being a downer town and there's not great night life or whatever. And for that two week period, and this is not being me being pro-Olympics by any means but I will say it was just nice to feel like to feel an energy coursing through the city that is usually very absent. Yeah it was it was like a pretty it was like weird but yeah good weird it was a weird time to be in the city because yes

we're showing off a little bit. Now currently no, currently there's, we're on the verge of an energy about to invade our city as the- Swift storm? Yeah, the last three episodes of the Taylor Swift show are gonna be- The last three shows of her like two year long tour will be this coming weekend. It will have happened by now listeners, sorry. And I think it's going to be like, my kids were like, Hey, can we go see Moana this weekend or Moana too? And I was like, as long as it's not down by the stadium. Yeah. It's going to be nuts. It's going to be absolutely nuts. Like people were lined up at three in the

morning today just to buy merch. Yeah. I heard that the merch line, they already like have opened that up. Whoa. Isn't that crazy? That is nuts. Like I went to Beyonce when she came to town last time and the, we almost missed the start of the show because the merch line up was so long in the stadium. It was like an hour just waiting to pay too much for a t-shirt. So I can appreciate them opening it early or like selling to fans before the actual concerts but a lineup for that at three in the morning, that's wild.

Yeah, to get come on stuff you could just make at home for the most part. Yeah, you get your mom make some decorative. Yeah, make some bracelets at home. You don't need to. Yeah, have your mom make a Frankenstein shirt. Exactly. If we can just go back to the Frankenstein. Do you think your mom like these last few years when like the Hulk hands came out, she

was like, really? Now these are readily available? Yeah. I mean, we talk about the Hulk hands all the time, me and my mom. It really wouldn't. That could have saved me two hours back in 19. Yeah. And a pair of gloves, you know, she gave up those.

But also like, if you're trick or treating, you don't want to have you have to carry those gloves and also like Frankenstein doesn't have giant hands. That's true. I guess he's more known for his hairy hands, right? Patchy hair. Do you think at the end of the heiress tour? Well, who when she pulls her mask off at the end? Who's it who's it gonna be? Who's it been this whole time Tom Cruise? It's gonna be Tom Cruise. Yeah, I think it's gonna be thing rames I think that's gonna be? Who's it been this whole time? Tom Cruise. It's gonna be Tom Cruise. Yeah. I think it's gonna be Ving Rhames.

I think that's gonna be the big reveal. Yeah Ving Rhames is like, he doesn't really do a lot of the face pulling off because his body type doesn't match any of the other stars. Yeah, that's true. Oh yeah, like all of a sudden why is Tom Cruise like six inches taller than he was before? That kind of thing? Yeah. And two feet wider? Big before. That kind of thing. Yeah. And, uh, two feet wider.

Big man. Ving Rhames. He's a sturdy lad. Has been, he's been with us a long time as a, as a movie actor. Would you call him a star? I'd call him a star. Absolutely. Yeah.

I'd be starstruck if I encountered Ving Rhames in the wild. Is he in Pulp Fiction? Yes. Yeah. Marcellus Wallace. Marcellus Wallace. That's right. Do we think Ving is short for Irving? Oh, I never. Yeah. Marcellus Wallace. Marcellus Wallace. Marcellus Wallace.

Do we think Ving is short for Irving? Oh, I never. I never thought about that. Yeah, me neither. Or, Chandler. Chandler. Chandler. That Ving you do.

Yeah. Do we want to find out? Sure. Birth name of Ving Rhames. Okay. Talk amongst yourselves. Now, who is a celeb, like, who's a celebrity that if you saw them in real life, you'd absolutely be like gobsmacked. Like you could- Bjork. Bjork is the first one that comes to mind.

Oh, yeah. For sure. I've been a huge fan of her since I was like 11 years. I was a weird kid. I loved Bjork when I was little. And- You got to get into her young. Everybody- For sure. Yeah. I mean, well, because nowadays Bjork albums are just like musical experiments where she's like, I assembled a nine piece flute ensemble and we recreated tropical bird sounds. And I'm like, that's great. I can't wait to never listen to that again.

But her first five albums are unimpeachably brilliant. But yeah, and the thing is, if I saw her, I wouldn't approach her because I know she's had weird experiences with fans in the past. So I would just like, I would just have a little meltdown in a corner. I would leave her alone. That's the good thing to do. Also looks like kind of a mythical creature. Totally. So there would be also just like seeing her in around other like normal looking average

day folks. He'd be like, oh yeah, that she really is from some other place. Absolutely. She came out of a volcano. I saw, I watched this documentary about Tegan and Sarah, about there was like a fan who was impersonating one of them online and like had gotten into their like, their manager's like drive and had all their like passport information and-

Jesus. And so, and they are, they were like super close with their fans. And then when this happened this happened they were like any of our fans could be this crazy. Yeah. Because don't they suspect it was like a like someone they think they know who it is but they haven't been able to confirm it. They do confront the filmmaker and either Teagan or sir I think well I think I don't remember the parts of the movie where there's two of them. I just, my vision's not that great.

But yeah, they kind of like, they have a main suspect who by the end is like, no, actually I think it might be you. The person is so despicable the way that they're like, how dare you accuse me, this person who. They protest too much. You're like, how dare you accuse me this person who they protest too much. Yeah. Okay. You for sure did this. But there's like, but I see one of them around Vancouver and I am sometimes like, Hey, I should say hello. And after seeing this movie, I'm like, I will never talk to any of them. They've been through too much. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think anybody, I mean, I feel like a lot of famous people

have that happen to them at some point. Right. Like not necessarily a stalker, like an overzealous fan. Yeah, like someone tries to find out what their birth name was and yes. Irving? God, yeah, it's Irving.

Okay, good. But what's his middle name? What's Jimma call it? Okay, is it, I've never seen it spelled this way, but I think it's Ramseys, R-A-M-E-S-E-S. Yeah, that's Ramseys. Yeah, but, or is it Ramseys? Because is his name Irving Ramseys-Rams?

Irving Ramseys? Who would you be gobsmacked if you met a celebrity, like somebody that really would be just like, not somebody that necessarily that you're a fan of, but somebody like, I can't even believe they exist. Like, how am I seeing this? Well, I did share an elevator with Paul McCartney by accident once.

That's true, no way. Yeah, in Heathrow. And we were, Abby and I were changing planes and everyone was taking the escalator and we were like, hey, that elevator's opening, let's run in. And there was a guy holding a guitar with like people I realized later were his security. But they let others enter the elevator, that's nice.

Yeah, they don't own the elevator. Right. And then- But they all have like their hands in their jackets ready to go. They're ready to take off their fake masks. One of them is Paul McCarty. One of them's Ringo.

And like, he had like a four or five year old daughter at the time who was asking, are we going to plus two or minus two? And then you just hear a voice go, minus two. And then you look up and you're like, holy shit, whoa. That is pretty cool. That's, and you didn't, you didn't say, Hey, I, big fan. Yeah. I was like, Hey, Paul, I have this demo tape.

Take a look. Uh, do you, do you think one day you might do an AI song with all the John Lennon tape? I might do. How about you? I think it'd be Arnold Schwarzenegger. I think if I saw him in real Yeah, what's yours? I think it'd be Arnold Schwarzenegger. Great choice. I think if I saw him in real life, I'd be like freaking out,

because it's just like, he's not, he's like, he's a person, but he's not. You know what I mean? He's like, yeah, if I saw him, I'd just lose my mind. And like, where would I be seeing him? I'd probably be on a nice vacation somewhere. Yeah, sure. Apparently.

Oh, he shot movies here. It would have been possible to. Yeah, he shot that one at the Library where the library is like the futuristic office. Yeah, the sixth day the Sixth day. Yeah, and it's like a sci-fi futuristic. Have you ever seen it? I have not no, I think I missed this one I saw I watched Terminator 2 this weekend ands up. I had only seen it once before. It's not like a thing that, because I know it's like.

I'll watch it. Even if I see one minute of it, I'm all the way in. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like that with Fifth Element. That's my movie. I like, I have to, I have to watch this. Yeah. Like once you watch just a couple of minutes.

Yeah. I forgot how he, he's so like normal sized in it. Like I think of him as being a gigantic guy, and he's just like, you know, he's big, but he's also with a small boy the whole time. Yeah, that's true, scale-wise. And I forgot about the funny bits. He's very funny in it.

He's funny, but also there's like, don't kill anyone. I forgot about the boy being like, don't kill anyone. So he just shoots everyone in the knees. Yeah, and then he says he'll live. Throws people through windows. Yeah, it's funny and it- But he doesn't just shoot people in the knees once.

He's like constantly, it's like a MacGruber gag. And he picks up a baby at one point and stares. He picks up a baby by it's like suspenders and stares at it. It's very funny. Like it it could be if you just cut together all the clips has been being funny would be like a comedy on its own on its own absolutely and I remember at the time they're like special effects that were such a big deal oh yeah and they kind of overuse them a bit yeah they're like morphing and like liquid metal stuff. And then there's just times when like an electric bolt

runs through the Terminator, and you're like, that's not as good. He, there's a scene where there's a security guard that then like there's a double of the security guard and he like sticks his finger through his head. That was done by just having twins. Oh, really? Yeah, they were like,

that'll save us millions upon millions of dollars. So we'll just have this guy be a twin. We'll have Tegan and Sarah. Yeah, we'll have Mary-Kate and Ashley also. Yeah, so Steve, you're here and you're new to the show. Where are you from? I grew up in Victoria. Okay.

And I swear Dave went to university. Okay. Yeah. I, uh, been in Vancouver for like 17 years now, I think. Um, and I, yeah, like people complain about this town a lot. Okay. Which.

I, this is how you're starting. You're opening. I don't know. It'll get nice. But I mean, to say, I love it here. Like I escaped a smaller town to move here, so this still feels like a big city. And I'll probably get priced out like everyone, but I love Vancouver. What's in Victoria?

Was there like a good breakfast spot somewhere in Victoria? So Victoria invented lining up for breakfast. Yes. There are so many great breakfast spots, and of them have 15 person lineups on the door. Jam is I think the- Jam's the one. Yeah.

Jam's the jam. What about that here? Was the original there? The original's Victoria. Yeah, the OG. I think it's that lining up is a holdover from the British Empire thing because British people fucking love steak. They call it a queue.

Yeah, they even have their own word for it. It's so, they love it. You go to the train station, everybody's lined up waiting for the train. They know where the doors are going to be. It's so great. Yeah. Um, Canadians like it too. Canadians like a good line.

Did you leave when you were how old? Like 21 ish. Oh, okay. 22 ish. Did you go to university or anything there? I never did any post-secondary education. I started working immediately out of high school and worked in retail. My first job was at A&B sound in the record department.

RIP A&B sound. Um, and I, I miss those days, like, cause you know, for young people listening, there was a time where you had to go to a store and get talked down to by a condescending prick to find the music you loved. And I got to be that prick for a while. And it was a minimum wage job, but the most fun I've ever had at work. For sure. What were you, what were people purchasing that either outwardly or inwardly you were like making fun of them? Dave Matthews Band.

Dave Matthews Band. Dave Matthews Band, for sure. So we, the record store that I worked at had a partnership with the like insurance auto insurance corporation in this province. Sure. And so people would, back in the day, people would have CD wallets in their car with like 400 CDs or whatever, because you had to, you know, select different music, uh, rather than just having a computer do it for you. And so if their car got robbed and they had good insurance, they would

get credits to purchase new CDs. So sometimes people would come into AMD Sound and they'd be like, okay, I have 400 credits. I like A, B, and C, what should I buy? And you would get to curate someone's music collection and it was the best. But wouldn't they be like, I just want to replace the ones that were stolen?

They would, they I guess didn't keep an itemized list. Yeah. And so they would- New year, new me. Yeah, exactly. Like let's just completely change it up. So they'd be like, okay, I guess, didn't keep an itemized list. Yeah. And so they would- New year, new me. Yeah, exactly. Totally. Like, let's just completely change it up. So they'd be like, OK, I really like Dave Matthews' band.

What should I listen to? And I'd be like, oh, OK, here we go. A gun cocking. No, Dave's a friend. I'd actually be quite starstruck. Yeah, oh, yeah, Dave Matthews' a friend. He lost a lot of friends because of that bridge incident, but we you've heard the bridge incident.

I have not no. They were in Chicago, right? Yeah, they were crossing a bridge and they the bus driver chose that moment with Dave's input. Yes, that's right to let go of what was in the toilet portion of the bus and it landed on a boat full of tourists. Oh, what? Yeah, it's one of the it's one of the best.

There's a plaque there apparently that somebody put up as a joke. And that's the inspiration for the song Don't Drink the Water. Yes, there you go. See, I wouldn't I wouldn't have had a Dave Matthews. Because he did it work today and be sad. When you worked at AB Sound, was it, because there was one here that was really big and it had like a DJ booth up in that,

and then it turned to Virgin Megastore, I think. Wasn't it an AMB Sound first? No, that Virgin Megastore was the library before. Was it really? Yeah. Cool, upgrade. It was the Virgin Music Store and then it became HMV before the industry totally tanked.

But the AMB Sound here was on Seymour Street, which is now a club called 560. Yeah. It was right next to Sam the Record Man. Yeah. Yes. And it's weird because now this is really very specific Vancouver we're getting into here.

Sorry. Also, by the way, John, I wanna get letters. There was an AMB sound on Southwest Marine Drive as well. There was. They made a tent during their big tent event. And the jingle they played on the radio was, there's a tent, there's a tent at A&B sound. Okay, okay, okay.

All right. The Sam the Wreckerman, where that used to be, it's now a English teaching college or whatever. And the door handles are still big S's like the Sam's Recommended logo. Oh, cool. So if you're ever in Vancouver, you want to see that. That little piece of history.

I'm sure that's on every walking tour of the city. Yeah, exactly. Well, that was a stop here for a moment, and if you could all turn to the left. What was the big store in Toronto that closed in the last couple of years that people were like... Oh, Honest Eds? Yeah.

Yeah. I knew it had a guy's name in it. That blade, have you ever been on it? I never know. It was like kind of like a real, kind of if a dollar store was multi-levels, it was kind of like cheap versions of things and kind of like a dollar store meets, remember the army and Navy stores? Kind of like that kind of thing. So like if Temu was a place?

Yes, yes, excellent. Have we talked about Temu? I don't know if we've given fair time to Temu. Here's my Temu observation. Go on. There was a time not that long ago when if you bought like a bad version of a product people there would be a meme about it people would be like if you get the wish version of whatever an iPod Timu Tamu took

it over overnight yeah that belongs to Tamu Timu now yeah is wish even still around or has it been absorbed by the other did one of the other shitty sites eat it I don't know is it is it Tamu did it rebrand as Timu Tamu know who rebranded and I was like come on what I don't know. Is it Temu? Did it rebrand as Timu Temu? No, who rebranded? And I was like, come on, this isn't better than what it was is Rakuten. That was originally something much easier. I can't remember what it was,

but it's like, this company is now Rakuten. No, Rakuten sounds like the name of a video game villain or something that doesn't make me want to buy anything at all. So you've moved to Vancouver. How, when did you start doing the standup comedy? Actually, I think December, December 8th, uh, I think I'm coming up on eight years, but the pandemic screwed it up. Yeah, it's not.

So I believe it's been eight years. I did a, I did a course at Langara. Um, under, uh, you said you did no post-secondary. You took a standup comedy clinic, uh, under a, uh, an instructor named David Grineer, a very, very nice, lovely man, funny guy. And, um, it was like, uh, I think an eight week course and you bring five jokes a week.

And then at the end you do your, your showcase at Yuck Yucks or IP Yuck Yucks Vancouver. Um, and yeah,uck Yucks Vancouver. And yeah, it went really well. And the doorman was like, hey, come check out these open mics. And it just kind of took off from there. And I've never had a lot of hobbies and always had a lot of free time. And so, yeah, one of the first things I ever took too quickly and just really love. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, I don't remember that David Grenier course because maybe it was once or twice a year the class would graduate and there would be like a flood of new comics in the city and it was like, oh, his class just got out. Like, oh, look at all these young. I still look back on that time. It's like, man, I wrote five jokes a week. Like that's the most prolific I've ever been as a writer for sure.

You imagine writing a joke now. Come on in this climate, forget it. So I'm off Twitter. I'm now on blue sky, but I forget how to come up with a little joke. My feeling about all these things, just reuse them. Just go over to Twitter. Sure.

Screen grab. I agree. I wholeheartedly agree. If you came up with it on Twitter, screen grab. Cut and paste. Well, a lot of them don't age well because they're, you know, like, oh, we got to get Obama out of office. I went through all of my like Facebook posts from when it started, um, uh, like 2007, I think I joined and like went through all of just the stuff that I had written from over the years. And it's really, really hard to look at some of, some of the things you said that doesn't

even feel that long ago. I was like, why did I hate everyone's bodies? Like I just, I just had horrible things to say about. See, I was progressive. I only hate my own body. Yeah. You're a better person than me. I had most of myself was about hating Graham's butt

as well. Yeah. When I was working, I worked at a radio station for a year and they have like little breaks that are only kind of like 10, 15 seconds long. I just use my old tweets. I just like downloaded all my Twitter and just kind of started just, because they were exactly the right amount of

Time and space and it's like come on I got a whole treasure trove just sitting there ready to do something with so that's what I'm gonna start doing just cutting Pasting putting on blue sky Your classics just the classics. Absolutely Do you have one classic tweet that you remember because people will sometimes be like Dave? This was your greatest tweet ever and I'll be like, I don't remember treating this. It's not funny. The one tweet, because it got like so much retweeting and, and at what do you call it?

Responses, replies, I guess, was that I said, this is ages ago, before any of the political stuff, I said, I don't know what everybody's talking about. I think Donald Trump seems like a nice guy. And he retweeted it. Oh no. Oh no. Of course he did. And this was like, yeah, well before any of the political stuff,

but people unmasked were writing me, you fucking idiot, he's not nice at all. And yeah, that was my most successful tweet. I saw one today. It was, so there's apparently there's the Facebook group in about the Vancouver Taylor Swift concerts and the days that we're living in someone was to eat. It does make you feel like we're such a podunk little town. Yeah.

Everyone's losing their mind for this person, but it's happening in every city. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. You know, you're not better than us, Cincinnati. Who would win in a neck and neck competition between Cincinnati and Vancouver? I don't know. They do have that. Cincinnati's got grit, man. I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Cincinnati might want it more. Yeah. They've got chili on pasta Is that the Cincinnati Cincinnati way? Yeah The but they were saying oh a lot of people are in this Facebook group are finding out you can't come to Canada If you have a DUI, oh People are coming wanting to cross the border to they bought their tickets a year ago and assumed they could come.

Right. Same going down to the States. I think you can't cross if you have DUI or a small drug tradition. I think it's actually one way, if I remember, because I- You can't go to the States if you have like grapes or an apple. That's right. Right, yeah. Produce, there's sticklers on.

DUIs, come on in. Yeah, yeah. Look at wide roads here, it's fine. So I play in a gay softball league here in Vancouver. And one of the reasons that we don't host the Gay Softball World Series in Canada is because there are too many Americans with DUIs, so they can't come and play ball with us. Is it a big thing in the gay community to drink and drive?

In the softball community, it's an overlap. So do you have to go to the States for the... I went to the World Series, the gay softball World Series in Minneapolis a couple years ago. And I wanted to go... Is your team that good? Well, World Series is misleading. It's just a tournament. It's basically America and a few Canadian cities. Sounds like the world's here.

So I guess that's fair. But you it's just every every city that has a league that's part of this organization can send like two births from each division level. And so either your championship team or if they don't want to go, it's just whoever like whoever has the money and time to Right. Spend a week in the States. And so you know, he's got a lot of disposable income. Softball players. So I went in Minneapolis last year and got to go to a, do a tour of Paisley park, Prince's compound, and it was preposterously expensive, but so cool.

Worth, worth the trip. Just, just to see his room of shoes. He, you got to go in, you go in the play, oh wow. You go in, and we paid for like, only the like VIP super special tour, and after seeing the exchange rate afterwards, I was like, why did I pay for that? That's crazy, but they had an entire room

that was just specific shoe selections of all of his platforms, so it would be like, these are the shoes he wore at Coachella in 20 whatever. These are the shoes that he accepted his Oscar in and all that other stuff. It was really, really cool. You went on Oscar for acting. Yeah, in the Purple Rain.

Under the Cherry Moon. Have either of you guys seen the movie Purple Rain? I've seen it, yes. Yeah, I like that he was so popular. They're like, you can star in a movie. It doesn't matter if you don't know how to act. Doesn't matter if you only have final life. Half the movie is just playing music.

Yeah, right. Rules. Purple rain rules. Yeah. When the soundtrack's that good, the music can be shit. A lot of like, there was one piano that was sent to him from I think Toshiba, or I can't remember who made it, but he sent it back twice

because the shade of purple was incorrect. So he made them repaint it twice for him. Love it. Love that. And there was just a lot of like outfits and just like the detail that goes into making them and stuff. And you would just be like led to one room, you watch a little video, there's a few artifacts kind of thing. It's like any museum tour, but it was, if you're a big fan, it's worth it, I think. What's Minneapolis like? Like, I'm like, is it, because when we say,

If you're a big fan, it's worth it, I think. What's Minneapolis like? Like, I'm like, is it, because when we say, or I don't say, but some people say Toronto is Canada is New York. And I'm like, but is it, is it bigger than like Minneapolis or Chicago or Chicago? Like Chicago. I feel. Yeah. I think Minneapolis is like, meteorologically speaking, like Winnipeg, it's right below Manitoba, so it gets crazy, crazy cold.

But we happened to be there, like the bugs weren't bad, the grass was lush green, the people were friendly, there's like an inherent musicality everywhere you go. It was just, I had a really great experience. I was only there for a week, but I thought it was lovely. I'd go back. Did you go to St. Paul? We drove through St. Paul.

Yeah. That's one of the big St. Paul? We drove through St. Paul. Yeah. That's one of the bigs. Well, they're twin cities. Oh yeah. What position do you play in the softball? Outfield, but I don't know how many more years I have left of it. Cause I'm, you know, I'm over 40 now and-

Diving for things. Diving and running, like sprinting for stuff. I don't know. I would love to play first base because that's the least amount of running and you still there's a fair amount of action there but you don't have to be dexterous like a like a shortstop oh I love running you go in the outfield steve will do yeah he'll take yeah I'll go I got first base but there's always someone who's a little bit older than me or like or has a better glove than me who always

snags first so I usually end up playing outfield a better glove You started go fund me Yeah, I I've never been in a league as a as an adult. I feel like that's something that's it's not by any choice I just haven't bothered researching enjoying you were in a league of extraordinary gentlemen and joining you were in a league of extraordinary gentlemen. Who's me and Dorian Gray and frickin I don't know invisible man. Dorian Gray.

Who's in the league of extraordinary gentlemen. Was he really? I don't know. I'm asking who's in it. I don't know it's like Frankenstein. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise is in there. Ving Rhames.

But like it is a collection. It's sort of like these these are a fictional character. I feel like, yeah, the invisible man. The invisible man is the only one I remember because they did a movie that Sean Connery's in. Uh huh. But I can't really remember it. Sean Connery is so funny.

Okay, starring, boy. Stuart Townsend as Dorian Gray. There you go. Shane West as Tom Sawyer. Richard Roxberg as James Moriarty. Oh, is that from? I don't want to sound illiterate, but I can't name it what any of these gentlemen are from that. That one's from Sherlock. Who is Dorian Gray? The picture of

Dorian Gray. It's a he is it the name rings a bell, but I can't place it at all. Is it all of Oscar Wilde? I actually don't know, but I know the thing is, is that there's a painting of him somewhere that is aging. Have you seen the substance? Yes, of course I have. It's basically, it's the exact same plot line, yeah. Perfect.

Not exact same, but the overarching, yeah. Jason Fleming as Dr. Henry Jekyll. Cool. Nasiruddin Shah as Captain Nemo. These are getting less and less famous, but they're still extraordinary, damn it. I mean, the characters are famous for the actors, I don't know so much. I don't even actually recognize the characters anymore. Okay, well that's the lead of the story. Shaun Connery as Alan Quartermaine. Shaun Connery is like one of my favorite things

is that he was offered the role of Gandalf in Lord of the Rings and he said like, I don't know, I couldn't understand the script. I didn't know what this was about. And then they asked him after they were such a big hit. He's like, are you sad that you turned it down? He's like, I still, I watched it and I still don't understand what that's going on.

Yeah, he's fine. Yeah, he doesn't need to be Gandalf. Yeah, I can be in a freaking entrapment. Yeah. Well, I mean, you think that him and Ian McKellen were probably necking that for that rule. Anyways, we wish them all the best and all the extraordinary gentlemen. Now, Steve, the elephant in the room, spell your name for me. Oh, okay. Um, uh, my birth name is Steven with a V just normally spelled.

I've been misspelling it as S T double E V for Steve for a number of years. Uh, just because growing up, there were always three to four Steve's in the class that I was in. Um, and my high school, there were always three to four Steve's in every class that I was in. Ah, okay. Um, and my high school, there were three Steve L's also. Mm-hmm. Uh, so I just started misspelling it. And as a, uh, you know, middle-aged man, I should probably have grown out of it by now, but I like it.

Oh, that's just- I was wondering if it was a showbiz thing. I, I, I don't know exactly when it started. I think it was towards the end of high school. Um. That's when showbiz starts. Yeah, I guess so. Uh, yeah, that's, that's kind exactly when it started. I think it was towards the end of high school. That's when showbiz starts. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, that's kind of when it started and I've just been sticking with it ever since. There were like certain names that really... I feel like Steven was really like a go-to name.

Yeah, like an 84 born kid, Stevens, Michaels. On the girls side, lots of Ashley's and my sister's name is Ashley. We both had very, very popular names for age. Yeah, Ashley, that was a big. I was Dave, David S. There was David K, David W and David D. We were the Aidens of our time. Yep. And my daughter, when she was in preschool, it was a COVID year and they were only so like, in her preschool, they were like,

we're only letting six kids in. You have to like be on your computer at 7 a.m. to sign up and whatever. We got in, there were six kids in the class, three of them named Parker. Really? Yeah. So many Parkers, so many Harpers.

Parkers, Harpers, Graysons. Yep. My niece is named Grayson actually. Yeah, in high school. And I'm taking her to Taylor Swift. I feel like I have to just call her. You're going to Taylor Swift? Yeah, I'm going.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to Taylor Swift on the Saturday show and it's more money than I've ever paid for a concert ticket, but we got like the Avion Rewards Points link. And when I like, I had to do it on my husband's phone cause he got the code. And if you don't use the place where the code is sent,

the device that it's sent to, then you get booted for bot activity. It's like, it's like- Booted for bot activity. Insane. That's my one man show. It's my sci-fi novel. Thank you.

And so anyways, I got in and the, like I kept trying to select tickets and then they would disappear because somebody else bought them. And so I zoomed out and the only thing I could see was floor tickets. So I thought just don't look at the price and bought them and this better be a great fucking memory. Yeah, yeah. No, I think it'll be a thing.

Does your niece have a DUI? No, thankfully. And she's only coming from Alberta. So it's all good. Yeah. Oh, that's so that's so cool. I didn't know you were holding back the info there. I didn't know we were with royalty. It will be a thing in like you know a generation from now will be like a thing like you were at Woodstock or you know it's

gonna be like a famous thing. If every city had three Woodstocks. That would have been rad. And people broke the gates at all of them and just rushed in Woodstock. I wonder if it would be Trenchmouth at the Taylor Swift concert. Do not do the Brown Acid. You see it at Taylor Swift. Some people will be giving birth at Taylor Swift. Yeah.

I think it'll be probably the best concert you'll ever see. Really. It's going to be insane. Unless you have seen Guar, in which case Guar is number one. Yeah. Always number one. Yeah. This will be interesting. I think I experience concerts a little bit differently now that I'm a little bit older. And this is not for me. This is for my sister who's older than me is coming too. She's a big time Swifty. And I like Taylor Swift, no, no disrespect or anything, but it's for the others that I'm going with. But I also like, I went to a SZA concert earlier or last year, I guess.

Um, and the only ticket I could find that was lower bowl, cause my eyes aren't great. I'm not, I'm not going to nosebleeds anymore. I'm just, it's not worth it. The only affordable ticket I could get in the lower bowl was to go by myself, to just buy a solo ticket. And so I went and I felt like it was like me and it was at GM or Rogers arena. It was me and 18,000, 20 year old girls basically at this concert. And I felt, I felt at times like a chaperone or like a phantom of some kind. It was like, I wasn't, I wasn't really there, you know? But it was interesting.

It was a lot of fun. I went, I bought for my wife for birthday to go see Phoebe Burgess. And so I went with her and I bought her a good ticket down below and then I took a nosebleed ticket. But I meant like when I walked out in that lobby, I was one of three dudes there. Totally. Do people when you're with your wife think father daughter? Yeah.

Or rich guy, you know, big penis, they think all these things. Oh yeah. I got my Spotify wrapped today. Yes. I unwrapped my Spotify wrapped. And it was- I'm horrified to know what my- I love, I, as a, again, former record store staff member,

I love Spotify rap season. I don't care if it's Spotify, like if it's Apple Music, title, whatever you listen to, I want to know. I want to know what made you tick musically this year. I want to know what you're embarrassed by. When you unwrap it, can other people see it? Is that- No, you don't have to share it.

You don't have to share it. It was giving me, like telling me about different months of my year and it said, June was your pink Pilates princess catwalk pop moment. That was my July. Good work you guys. But mine, since I've had kids is all like, it's no longer like just whatever, you know,

Moana music in the mornings. Moana in the mornings. Go for Mo. But now it's more just like most of the music we listen to is music I put on for them. Yeah. Like I'll play Heim radio in the mornings. Sure. And so my top singers were all Haim and Phoebe Bridgers and Gloria Estefan.

Yeah, Gloria Estefan. Pink probably was in there because it was your big summer solstice. No, Taylor Swift was my number one artist of the year. Oh yeah? Against all odds, yeah. Who's yours? Beyonce.

Beyonce, I haven't done, I haven't unwrapped, so I don't know, but I imagine it's background jazz. Number one. Congratulations for 30 year running background jazz. You're in Charles Mingus's top one percent or whatever. We have like a family plan. So on my phone, on Abby's phone, she listens, she has her own account.

And so she gets like, her wrapped is all very cool stuff And then mine is just like here's what I played for the kids. Yeah. Yeah, that's you're taking a bullet for your kids Yeah, well, you know you do anything for them I mean I like I like you know all these artists sure fine. Sure Yeah, you're right cuz they're not the Moana. Yeah, that was that was bad because it was every year It was Sebastian the crab was their number one Have you seen that one tweet that the person has that's like I listen to cool music all year long and then I listened to mama number five one time and suddenly Spotify is like your number

artist to Mambo number five one time, and suddenly Spotify is like, you're number one artist. Lubega. Lubega, we told them you wanna meet him. And then there's a video message from Lubega, thanking them, yeah. Yeah, it's, I know it's gonna be something embarrassing when I find out. I mean, we gotta do it on the air.

Maybe I'll do it today, or maybe. Do it on the air. Unwrap it now. How do I do it? You just open your Spotify and it'll say you're wrapped is ready. Hold my hold my phone the right side up Graham is his hands are shaking This is a didn't know if he put on the spot like this Also, he was holding his phone under his butt under my leg. Thank you very much. Where okay?

Where is it? Where do I do library or yeah home? Maybe you didn't get one. Yeah, it doesn't look like but there it is jazz in the background Recommended best. No, it was right at the top of mine. No, I got nothing. I got no maybe they didn't do me this year Maybe they just skipped over me. Maybe you were naughty. Yeah, I might get a lump of coal from Spotify. Oops, okay No, I was seeing where mine was um When you said you you went and saw Beyonce when I did yeah I saw the Renaissance tour when she was in town and it was incredible

I have a Beyonce like tour t-shirt and it's from a year that the only Canadian date she did was in Edmonton That weird that weird to me of all cities to like well, I remember when Paul McCartney came to Vancouver He was only doing like two Canadian dates that year one of them was one of them was Edmonton I guess they must have a really good Stadium or whatever that would be I feel like Vancouver gets a lot because like people will either start or end their tours here because we're good. Also like I remember like you too and the Rolling Stones would just rent a airplane hanger and rehearse here for a month.

The police did that too. Yeah. So I don't know why like that makes sense for Vancouver because we're at just the end of one part of North America but yeah, Edmonton I don't know why, like that makes sense for Vancouver because we're at just the end of one part of North America. But yeah, Edmonton I don't get. Yeah, I don't know. Like I know Garth Brooks did a concert there and they added some crazy amount, like 12 shows.

They just kept selling out and selling out and selling out. I believe it. Apparently does a good live show. But yeah, that might be my unwrapped. I've listened to Thunder Rolls maybe one time during the year. One time. You listened to this many songs one time. What's going on with you, Dave?

Well, I'll tell you. Well, speaking of going to concerts alone, Abby and I do that all the time now because we'll just buy like, we've made the mistake of buying two tickets and then we don't feel like getting a babysitter and one of us doesn't really wanna go. And so now we just buy one ticket to a show. That's smart. And then half the time, bail anyway.

Yeah, totally. But then you only waste one ticket. Yeah, I've definitely like at the phase of life where I go to see somebody I like, but if there's no sitting, I'm pretty bummed out. If totally I'm standing the whole time. I'm like, this feels like work for me. So it's I've been going to country that mostly are like, we'll stand up at the beginning and we'll definitely stand up at the end. But in between, let's all just have a seat. The thing that I'm most stressed out about for the Taylor Swift show is like,

this is going to be three plus hours of standing. Like the, the noise I can deal with, not a problem, but I'm just, I'm worried about my back the next day. Yeah. What kind of shoes? What are you going to wear shoes? Something with orthotics in them, probably just sneakers. And luckily we live a block from a SkyT, from the Burrard sky train station. And then we, so we don't have to do the whole walk to BC place. We'll probably train it part of the way.

Nice. Um, but yeah, I went to a show a couple of weeks ago at the Vogue and they've like removed the seating towards the stage. And, but then there were like the roads up, like on the slanted part of it, they kept the chairs on. Um, so we just stood like in between rows of chairs and the whole time I was like could I could I pull off sitting right now would I? But that's that's the stressful thing at concerts now is like why I like to go solo more moving forward

is because I don't feel bad about checking my watch if it's just me you know. Whereas if I'm with people I want them to think I'm having a great time. Yeah. I like the shows where they take out if there's room for you to sit, if you can go take breaks and like sit somewhere and then come back and stand. Yeah, I remember going to see not a concert, but a big like wrestling show at Rogers Place Center. Arena.

And I walked to the like, cause I was like, oh, I forgot to bring earplugs. And so I walked to the like information desk and I was like, do you I didn't, I forgot to bring earplugs. And so I walked to the like information desk. I was like, do you guys have any? She just handed me earplugs right away. She's like, you look like somebody. I know what this guy is. Anyway, so I, this week or two ago, I went to a live podcast down town by myself.

I went to see Smartless. I went to see Smartless Live, I threw my bra at them. I went to see the Sloppy Boys. Oh, the Sloppy Boys! Cocktail podcast that I like a lot. And that was great, but I never go downtown. So I was downtown by myself on a Friday night on the Granville Strip.

Oh man, do you have some money in your pocket? Holy shit, that sounds like a good night. So after the show, I hadn't eaten dinner and I was like, oh, you know what I used to get every time I was down town, I would get a donair. Oh yeah. Or a shawarma or some kind of pita thing. And-

Do you have a favorite? Like donair spot? Yeah. I usually go, it's just probably on brand recognition at this point. We do donair dude. Donair dude, I was going to say that. But it's always like, it's just probably on brand recognition at this point, we do donair dude. Donair dude, I was going to say that. But it's always like, it's the size of a football and I'm not someone who can save half of my donair for later. I'm going to finish the whole thing. So I always just feel like a fat monster after donair dude.

I know. And it's just like, yeah, especially if you're with somebody who saves half, AKA my wife. Yeah, I've just pounded back a whole burrito and she's saved like two thirds of hers. I'm like, oh man. But I was, so I, it's been so long since I've gotten one downtown. I know there's, my favorite place used to be a place on Robson and like between Granville and how that it was was right next to true value vintage oh yeah I think it's now a NW maybe sure everything is but it's not there anymore and I didn't know where to go and so I

just looked on my phone and there were a few around and one of them had a 4.9 out of five stars. Whoa, shit. How many reviews, just the one? Just one and I gave them a 4.9. I don't know how to work this phone. So I went and it was so terrible. Oh no. Oh really? It was like, it felt not, I mean,

I don't want to say inauthentic, but because like what is authentic, but I miss like they have the big thing of- Yeah, the big tornado of meat. Of meat and they seem to, all the good places have a pan that they have altered. They've cut the pan so that the meat lands in the pan and so that the pan contours to the tornado.

This place was just like, the meat was all ready. Mm, they just swept it off of the surface. Yeah, they put it, you know, you pick your things. They didn't have every topping I wanted. And then one of the toppings was nacho cheese. Yikes. This doesn't sound good at all. And so I,

whatever the Yelp or Google reviews really let me down. Yeah. And I was walking around with this and the more I ate it, I was like, this isn't scratching the itch. Maybe I can go get a second one. Yeah, give in. Did you? No.

Oh. I did, I was going to, but then I would have had to cross Granville again and it was a Friday night and it was too crazy. Yeah. Too rowdy. I would get like a Friday night after a show because the comedy was supposed to round the corner from Granville and grab for anybody who not from the city.

Granville's like the big party time, Mardi Gras-esque, crazy, knife crime, a lot of stabbings. It's all donairs and knife crime. And my go-to was there's a bar called like the Moose, I think, right next to it, they have a poutine place. Oh, whoa, that's some it, they have a poutine place. Oh, woof. That's some good poutine.

Good poutine. Now I, I'm more prone to partying on Davie street. Uh, the, the village of my people and, uh, softball players. Softball players. That's right. Uh, and there's a place, uh, La Belle Patate. Uh, it has great poutine and steamy dogs. Yeah.

Uh, that was always our like after bar food. The Belle Patate is amazing. Yeah. That was always our after bar food. The Bell Potatoes is amazing. Yeah. Yeah, I was always just hanging out on the... Davey felt like more upper crust for the Saturday Night Crowd. Sure. Granville's pure bridge and tunnel. Yeah, pure bridge and tunnel.

Yeah, just... Nothing but bad seeds down there. Right. If Donair Dude is the chain du jour, is Peter Pitt still around? That's a good question. Peter Pitt, last I checked, there's one in Kelowna. So, last time I was in Kelowna, I saw Peter Pitt. I went, I forget what it was.

There was some ad on TV that was telling, like, it was for a website that would tell you what franchises you could invest in. Oh yeah. And like you go and you sort by province and then how much it costs to get a franchise fee, what the expected cost of a fully operational franchise would be and the most expensive, like Peter Pitt was one of the ones you could do, I think. But the most expensive franchise you could do

that I found was Mr. Lube. Oh, I mean, there's a lot of overhead there. Yeah, you gotta buy a lot of stuff. Buy a, or at least lease a property and dig out the bottom of it. Yeah, yeah, there's no like storefront Lube places that you can just move into. Also wasn't Mr. Lube was created or not created by but started by the same guy that started

Boston Pizza. He started, no not started, he didn't start Boston Pizza but he. He was one of the early investors I guess. Jim Tree Living from Dragon's Den. Oh okay. The old guy from Dragon's Den. Any product that had an online thing, he was like, I don't know.

Anytime people say. Like anything that wasn't a brick and mortar business. Wasn't a pizza place or a lube drive up in lube. Yeah. I think anytime you're in a franchise, anytime they roll out a new product, you have to buy all the equipment for that new product, even if they only last for like three or four months and they're like, ah, nobody wants.

All right, I guess these pizza ovens have to go in the lube hole under the building. Yeah. Well, like- Put them in the lube hole. Cause Subway is a sandwich store. And then Quiznotes was like, we can toast our subs here.

Yeah, well, Quiznos ruled, and they gave you a hot pepper too. Yeah, and that's what- And there's still one. Do you know there's still one on Pender Street? There's two, there's one on commercial. There's one on commercial, yeah. I walk past the Quiznos on Pender

because it's relatively close to where I live, at least twice a year, and I'm like, holy shit, they're still going. Good on you guys. Yeah. I mean, the- Last time I still going good on you guys. Yeah. I mean, the- Last time I went, it was still great. Cause Subway, like it took them a year or two,

but they were like, we can have toasters in every store too. Sure, yeah. But they're not as good. No, they're not as good because the difference is, the Quiznos one moves along nice and slow. Yeah, and you get to watch it. Takes it nice and easy.

Yeah. Right. You get a little window to watch it. And the sandwiches are all made with that in mind. Like they've come up with these recipes. This is the Quizno family. Yeah, this is, yeah, absolutely. There's a subway that I walk by pretty regularly and it had a sign that it was under new management,

but like the sign's still gross and falling apart. And I'm like, when is the new, when does that kick in? Where you're at? The, not the sign that says it's under new management. No, the subway sign. Oh yeah. The S has fallen off and the U's all scraped and it's like, come on guys, you know, show, show some pride in your-

First thing on your to-do list. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like in sign. I go, if I go into a subway, I never see the manager. I see one person who- Listening to a podcast. Yeah, who's overworked. Yeah, it's lonely.

The late shift at subway, that's a lonely time to be. Tough. Yeah, never worked as a sandwich artist myself, not counting it out for the future. But you know, you respect those who have. Absolutely, I do. For sure. Thank you for your service.

Yeah, was I saying on the podcast that like all You respect those who have. Absolutely, I do. For sure. Thank you for your service. Yeah. Was I saying on the podcast that all late night fast food restaurant employees should be given the government money because of the social service that they provide for a minimum wage kind of thing? Did I talk about that before? No. But yeah, do you know what I mean? Like you go into like, whatever,

Wendy's the Wendy's over on Broadway, like 11 o'clock, it is wild. What is going on there? It's crazy. And they don't have the, you know, they don't have a bouncer, they don't have some big guy to keep everything under control.

It's just like. They don't have a bouncer, they don't have a big guy, they don't have a tough guy, they don't have a big guy, they don't have a tough guy, they don't have a cooler. Yeah, no. Like they're all like 17 years old and they've been through it so much that they know. This guy walks in the door, get out, get out, you're not allowed in here, we know what you do.

Aw, that would be fun. I like to have a job where I can immediately see someone and say, get out. Some of the guests on this pond guys, it's a better way. They come in and like, get out. Some of the guests on this pond guys, it's a better way to come in and like, hey. Get out of here. No, get out. I was that way when we had Harry

from Harry and the Henderson song. He was so tight-lipped about John Lithgow. And I was like, but it was for his own good. Yeah, that's true. There was recently an article released about bro cry movies. Uh, so like films that men allow themselves to cry watching and it was critically missing Harry

and the Henderson's, which everyone should ball at it's, you know, so terribly sad. That was like, it was a good list. All the like, you know, Shawshank redemption and all of these other ones that, uh, that men love classically, but the one glaring omission was Harry and the Henderson's. Yeah. As a, as a child, my dad took me to Harry and the Hendersons. We were on vacation in

Montana and I cried. Was it a whitefish? It was whitefish. I cried. Oh, it was inconsolable. Just cried the whole ride home. Just couldn't stop crying. So, so, so sad, but such a great movie. Such a great movie. Although I haven't seen it since probably like 1992, So I shouldn't, I shouldn't say things are great. Yeah. Harry says some things that are, wouldn't, you wouldn't get away with now. What are the, I don't think I really

cried at anything when I was a kid. I cry it now. I cry. Yeah. I don't cry at movies now. That hasn't happened. And I felt sad at the end of the last Avengers movie because I was like, there you go. There's a decade of your life. You're saying, felt sad for yourself. Yeah. I can't believe I spent this much time on this. I remember when I was a kid, I saw the movie, The Wizard,

where Fred Savage. The Power Glove? Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah. That's huge. I saw it in the theater and I, this was the thing like there are certain days of my life that I'm like oh I pinpointed like events from this day because I saw that movie I came home and there the Canucks were on TV and

the Canucks were never on TV back then. It was the 1990 season they were the worst, second worst team in the league and they were playing an exhibition match against a Russian team. And they were losing badly. And then one of my family members asked me how the movie was, and I burst into tears. And I looked it up, and that hockey game is on YouTube. Yeah. Did you watch it again? Did it tear up?

Remember the... No. hockey game is on YouTube. Yeah. Did you watch it again? It's a tear up. Remember? No, I was like, I figured out it was somewhere sometime in December of 1989. Right. Huh. Yeah. I know I haven't cried. Do you cry at the end of movies? When I was little, I cried at everything. I was a super, super emotional. And nowadays I can't really I struggle to cite an example. But if ever there's like a fat kid getting picked on in films that always, you know, once a fat kid, always a fat kid that always tugs at my heartstrings. Or if there's like an animal in peril that that usually does it. Um, I went and saw, I saw wicked, uh, the film that's, you know, huge right now.

And, uh, I think all of these people posting about how they cried like three or four times during this film, it's very well done. It's a good movie. I don't generally like musicals because I think they require you to access a well of like joy and wonder that I just don't possess. Fair, fair. But I thought it was very well done.

But the idea that you would cry at it, I thought was weird. I'm like, where, where? Parts where you want to cheer, sure, but cry? No. Huh, cry at Won'm like, where, where? Like parts where you want to cheer, sure, but cry? No. Huh. Cry at Wonka. Did you? You did, right?

A little bit at the end. You got to miss theater. But then one of my kids was like, I have to go to the bathroom. Dad, it's just so embarrassing, I just might cry. But I bawled throughout, when I saw it in the theater that Mr. Rogers documentary. Oh, yeah. Like from opening scene, heaving. um, uh, Mr. Rogers documentary. Oh yeah. Like from opening scene, heaving.

I was like, I had a childhood. Yeah. Well, and it is crazy. Like, I mean, not that I watch, um, children's programming nowadays, but to think of like how, um, pretty much the Avengers. Yeah. It's just when you see clips of Mr. Rogers, like telling you like you're worthwhile

and you know what I mean? All of these like beautiful things. He said, you're like, I can't believe this was a part, this is so important. I can't, like, I don't know. It's just, it is very, I'm crying now. Yeah, and I didn't even really, like I think I watched his show a couple of times, but.

Oh, it used to be, that was appointment view. I, maybe, I think I saw it a few times, but I kinda zoned out when those creepy waxy puppets showed up. Yeah. And the season where Mr. Rogers kept showing off his abs, right? We all remember that era. He's peeling off the cardigan.

You're like, okay, buddy. Okay, okay. We get that you do sit ups. Oh yeah. Oops. Oh, you like that? You're like, whoa, Mr. Rogers has come gutters. That's crazy.

I think that is my favorite phrase dealing with the human body. Come gutters. Oh, that's your favorite. Yeah. In describing a human body, gum gutters is number one for me. Yeah. Better than muffin tops. Thank you very much.

Come gutters are the anti-Fupa. What's a Fupa? Oh, no. Yeah, better than muffin tops. Thank you very much. Cum gutters are the anti-Fupa. Mm-hmm. What's a Fupa? Oh no, I'm sorry to put this on you. Fat, well, fat upper pelvic area. So like a... Pelvic is the nicest way.

Yeah, sorry. Yeah. I think I know what you guys are getting at. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to bring that into your house. You guys are sorry. It is, well, look, it's been living in the dark corners of my house. There's plenty. Now that we bring it up, I'm flooded with my mind is flooded with the offensive terms for parts of bodies. Anyway, yeah, come on. This is the best.

Thanks. Yeah. Number one Congratulations. This is the best. Thanks. Yeah. Number one. Thank you, Steve. Anyway, I had a bad donair. What's new with you? Was the concert okay?

It wasn't a concert. It was a live podcast. It was a live podcast. It was the live podcast. It was a lot of fun. Yeah. So much fun. You know how I like to have fun.

Was that at the Vogue? No, it was at the Pearl. Oh, the Pearl. Oh, the Pearl. Formerly Venue, formerly something else. Yeah. I know the Pearl. I think I've seen a concert of the Pearl. Anyways, what's going on with me

is I went to Alberta's capital city this weekend. Edmonton. Edmonton, Alberta, where Beyonce played that one concert. Garth Brooks did a number of shows that one time. Yeah, he was there doing his 70th show in a row. Yeah, I went and I flew cheaply, because it was a kind of, I had to go, I went to Kathleen McGee's past guest celebration of life.

Okay, did we mention on the show that she passed away? I know that we put it for sure on our socials. But yeah, if you don't know, she's a past guest, Kathleen McGee, died after a very long cancer battle and she got in the nice way, she got a diagnosis and she was healthy enough to go do what she wanted to do. She went to different, traveled to different places and did all the kind of things she wanted to do. Recorded a special, uh, traveled to different places and did all the kind of things she wanted to do. Recorded a special in Victoria, which you were part of as well.

And, and we, uh, what happened was during, it was like a standup show. So there's a couple of comedians did stand up. Oh, that's good. Perfect view. You're the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral. You don't understand. You're doing well. Um, and then it was her special was like the headlining set.

So there, and there was hundreds of people there. It was really, really packed out. And, but because it was sudden, you have to buy plane tickets closer to the date than you would. And so, woof, do they get, wow, do they get expensive fast. Like, taking a one way for Air Canada was something like $400. For a one hour flight Like taking a one way Air Canada

with something like $400. For a one hour flight. For a one hour flight, yeah. And so it was like, okay, there's only one cure for this. And its name is Flair Air. And Flair, woo! It's the opposite of what they are. Skybus.

Yeah, it is Skybus. But I've been on it before and then this flight, it was the most Skybus of Skybus. Yeah, it is Skybus. But I've been on it before and then this flight, it was the most Skybus of Skybus flights. It is weird that there's like a company called Airbus and they're the direct, it's Boeing and Airbus. They make all the planes like, do they not know the bus sucks? Yeah.

Boeing at least sounds- Can you offend Air Limo? Yeah, Boeing at least sounds like the sound of a boner. Boeing, Boeing. Boeing. Boeing. Boeing. But I've been on Flare before.

And the whole thing is trying to get on without carry on. That's my. You have to wear all of the clothing that you're going to have on that trip. So I pack so precisely so that I can just have the personal item which goes under the seat. And you're staying overnight? I stayed there. Yeah, I went have the personal item and you're under the sea you're staying overnight I'm stay stayed there. Yeah, I went there the night before and then left the morning after so I was there for tonight

two nights, okay, so that's packing is I Had to pack a nice shirt and I was wearing dark pants So I was taking care of and then I actually over packed there were A shirt and underwear combo. I never got to. Also, what's the temperature in Edmonton these days? So cold. Dave, it's so cold.

Is it in the minuses? It was in the minuses. Double digit minuses? I think so, yeah. As I walked to the gas station by the hotel. Woo. I will never. Did you see your breath?

Yeah, I saw my breath. My nose hair. Yeah, it got all crinkly. and it was kind of, you know, it was kind of nostalgic for about 10 minutes and then I was like, okay, this sucks. But I just stayed in the hotel mostly. The hotel- What Kathleen would have wanted. Exactly.

It's part of the stand-up experience. But it was at a casino, like in their ballroom that also has the Yuck Yucks Comedy Club. So it was in their ballroom, not in the club. But I stayed in the casino, which I haven't done since Vegas. Okay. It's weird, man, walking down,

opening the elevator and just being right in the games. Can you smoke? I don't know, but it smelled like smoke. Okay. So I don't know if you can, but I feel like if you could, this would be the place. For sure. And the check-in is just, it's just a woman behind like a plexiglass thing with the circle in it to speak through.

Okay. Like it wasn't like a hotel at all. It was just kind of like, oh, what are you on? Can I get a token for the hotel? I remember hearing that during COVID, like, COVID's still happening. But when it was when everyone, everything was opening up after lockdown, when Vegas opened up, it was like people had to wear masks. And like it was being enforced, unless you were smoking, you didn't have to wear a mask while you're smoking or drinking.

So it was like... But we see you eating in here, god damn it. Yeah, so it was cold. But I just brought a jacket because I knew I wasn't going to be out much. I was not going to be walking around. So I didn't bring like a huge coat. When you got to your hotel room, did you take off your pants and jacket? a huge. When you got to your hotel room, did you take off your pants and jacket? Um, Dave, I, I did that and I did it all over again. I put my pants on it and again. Um, but like, yeah, like that's the, I just saw a lot of that. It ain't me.

Sound. I was like, when he, too. Yeah. Oh yeah. Absolutely. It was huge. What would be the like best seller that you saw the whole time you're there? What was the one they moved the most units?

One that I remember being a phenomenon and it's not a very like super exciting answer. What year were you thinking? Okay, so back in, I worked at the one in Victoria and then I moved to Calgary for a year, 10 months more specifically and got the hell back to BC. While I was in Calgary, Sarah McLaughlin released her first post divorce album, I can't

remember what it's called, and so all of the like corporate daddies of Calgary, all of them bought that album. That was like a huge massive phenomenon at the Calgary. Yeah. And I remember- That's really interesting. Not the one you would think, but yeah, Sarah, it's not- Corporate daddies. Yeah. Calgary is just teeming with silver haired oiled daddies. They all wanted some Sarah McLachlan.

Sure, wow. Yeah, fair enough. I mean, she's great. So yeah, I like to be meticulous about my packing. I try to get it down to the most. You like to get a compliment from either security or the people working at the airline. And last time I flew before this I flew Flair and I put the bag right in the personal item

sizing thing and she was like, oh nice. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of putting a thing that says personal items, just give me your number. She's like, ooh, yoink. Yeah, instead of putting a thing that says personal items, she just gave me her number. She's like, ooh, my foopa. Oh, my foopa, doopity-doop. Graham learning about a thing, oopalooping, he'll love it. But this bag was a little bit bigger than it was a backpack. So when she said, put in the sizing thing, who did I start? Like I was pushing that thing left to right up and down, like muscling it in. I took about at least two minutes, three minutes when I had it.

You gotta give me the personal tag. Did you take a picture of it? I should have. Look everyone, I did it. I had it, you gotta give me the personal tag. Did you take a picture of it? I should've. Look everyone, I did it, I did it. And then I got on the plane coming back and I've never seen this before. I've been on all sorts of very cheap planes, but the backs didn't have seat like compartments.

It didn't have like a little place to. Yeah, to put anything. Okay. It was just blank where do they have if you vomit you're just supposed to do it in your shirt I you have to scan a QR code if you want to you got to pay for the vomit bag or like the like safety pam yeah no nothing that you could put there was no anything which is weird right I also think that I'm thinking about it,

they might not have had tables that went down. And now then, yeah, I think it was completely. This is how they fit one more row of seats in. They just sliced that little centimeter of room off of everyone's seat. Honestly, if the person in front of me leaned back, it would have hit me in the head. Like that's how tiny these spots were.

So cramped. And of course, I'm sitting there, you know, empty seat next to me, other guys in the head. Like that's how tiny these spots were cramped. And of course, I'm sitting there, you know, empty seat next to me, other guys in the aisle, and we're just sitting there. And then the last guy walks on, well, I guess he's sitting between us. Of course. But yeah, anyways, flair get you there. but it's, they're cutting corners. They're cutting corners. Absolutely. Yep.

I've never done it. No? If you're going for a short trip, it's not bad. I don't do short trips. You only do long haul flights. I move. You go to Brazil. Yeah.

Why, you go to Alberta once a week? Yeah. This year, I'm going to be the marshal of the Stampede Parade. Sure. Yeah. Opening for Garth Brooks. I'm opening for Garth Brooks and Edmonton. Put your hands together for the Squirtin' Albertan.

Graham. Hey everybody, hi. Do you wanna find out why I'm called the Squirtin' Albertan and then I fire them with a hose? Let's just say I got the same initials as Gum Gutters. I'm Clark Graham. Not quite. Not quite, but close.

Yeah, we're trying. We're trying to get you a new persona in your fifth decade. I would like to have a character that comes out with like a super soaker or something like that. That would be, if I could do it all over again I would do that but well you could be like I don't know if it could be a super soaker full of blood and you could be like Nickelodeon Dracula oh yeah and open for war yeah yeah yeah well but they probably don't like you know how like an opener if you're a musical I'm comic

and the the opener is a dirty comic right like I bet you're a musical, a clean comic and the the openers, a dirty comic, right? Like I bet you, Guara, would be like, yeah, you can open, but don't none of the blood stuff. We say that for us. That's our fair. Yeah. Yeah. Because when I open for Don Rickles and I was like, just so you know, Don, I'm do 10 minutes on hockey puck hockey puck insult. But like, have you if you've been on a show where the the opener Does a ton of crowd work and then you get up there you're like, so there's no meat left on that bone

Yeah, that would be a nightmare. No have not yeah I did it that happened the last time I was in Ottawa. I was like, what the hell man He did like a 10 minute 12 minute crowd works that and then left the state I was like so so let me recall, you guys were here on a date together and anything else you wanna say? Did he miss anything or? Yeah, is there anybody who wants to talk at all? And the one that did wanna talk the most

had been given free tickets. So she didn't know who I was, which was, that's what you want. In a nice small venue, you want at least a couple of people who have never heard of you, you know? Yeah, I did a show last night called Christmas Sweater Comedy at Little Mountain Gallery, and there were three people in the audience.

And basically- Still did the show with three people. We still did the show, yeah. The people who ran it were like, "'Show Must Go On'," and we said, okay, fine. And everyone- I would say, must it? Must it, yeah, fine. And everyone- I would say must it? Must it, yeah, totally.

And everyone just talked to this one couple who was, one was the girl was from Kelowna, the guy was from Kitsilano and they had been together two months. And it was literally like, it was basically a therapy session for these two people, the entire show. Oh my God.

It was quite something. That would be, I think that's my nightmare scenario where you're just interacting with the show, the entire show, where you're like, now you're the focal point of the show. And the third person in the audience was sitting there like, nobody's gonna talk to me. I just got a relief of us, that third person. Totally.

Nobody seems interested in my story. I'm an assassin, I've got all sorts of things to say. I'm the jackal, there's a whole day of me. But yeah, three people, I would say show must not go on, is what I would. Well, if you are lucky enough to have your funeral at the Comedy Club, I guarantee three people. Three people at the very least.

And one person has lost their, they meant to go to a wedding. I got a free ticket, I got a free ticket to Graham's funeral. they're they meant to go to a wedding free ticket i got a free ticket to graham's funeral um yeah and that that uh that show was the best the uh the catholic mcgee final show was uh everybody was so funny past guest sean lacomber went up like he was a youth pastor with a with um uh what do you call it like not a podium but, but, uh, Lektern. Lektern. Yeah. And like, you know, related all her experience through Christ. And that was very funny. Oh man.

And then Lisa, uh, Baker who hasn't been on the show, but I would love to have her on the show. Well, she, uh, she called out somebody for doing something that Kathleen said in her special was there will be somebody who posts how much I miss her, but never in real life. We hated each other and that literally happened. She called her out for it at the show? Yeah, Lisa Baker called him out and said,

this fucking guy, that's who she's talking about is this guy. Wow. That's great. It was great. That's awesome. You could really feel like who were the comedy fans in the room because everybody's hooting and hollering and then the people were more like,

this should be a funeral kind of thing. We're kind of timid at that point. Sure. It was the best. It was the best. But yeah, speaking of shows, you do a show once a month, as I said, confession comedy. Confession booth comedy, yes.

How does it work? So basically, uh, the audience and comics submit confessions into a bucket that I read out in between acts. Uh, so comics, if they have personal, uh, sort of oversharing material they want to do, that's great, but it's not a prerequisite necessarily. It's just that seems you need a hook of some kinds to get people to come to your comedy show these

days. And so the, the confession booth, uh, sort of bucket is kind of an easy way to do it. We're doing it monthly. Uh, what kind of things do people confess? A lot of it has to do with, um, a lot of it is, uh, either, um, sex confessions or drugs confessions or poop confessions, uh, poop, pooping oneself, a lot of them involve. Really? Yeah, the first month that we did it, it was probably about 30% sharding confessions, honestly.

It's funny because it doesn't feel like the situation itself is new, but talking about it so liberally seems to be a new phase of shitting protocol. For sure. Yeah. Like now you hear more people, especially comedians. I don't understand how so many comedians are doing that. Boy, I missed the golden age. I was ahead of my time. You got out too fast. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like a great show. That's very cool. A lot of fun. It's in the raccoon room where you also host laugh gallery. That's right. Every Thursday night at 7.30 PM, 110 Water Street.

Yeah, I love doing the show there, but yeah, there's some- Even Boxing Day? Yeah, probably. Why not? Okay. People are gonna need something to do. That's true. Why?

It's not holy. Yeah, exactly. It's a made up British thing. So you know what? I'll do a British show. It's unholy. Yeah, it is unholy. It's a made-up British thing. So, you know what? I'll do a British show. I'll bring holy. Yeah, it is unholy It's an unholy day Boxing day used to mean something but it died

This was a place that people would line up for the day after Christmas It was a back in the day DVD players were the Taylor Swift merch of the night Yeah, people would camp out overnight. Or just for cheap CDs, which probably weren't even that cheap. Yeah. Actually Western Canada had the cheapest CDs like of any Western country or something. It was, it was cheap. Like CDs in Australia would be like $30 and there would be $14.99 here.

We didn't know how good we had it. Right. I wait. Yeah. And I like, there are certain comedy albums where I own the CD and I could do verbatim. I could do the exact album, but now it's like in one ear out the other. Totally. If I watch a special, I can't remember.

Do you like CDs? I don't like C&D's nuts, if that's what you're going for. Nice try. You like CGs. Do you guys want to move on to some over-hears? Sure. Oh my gosh, hi. It's me, Dave Holmes, host of Troubled Waters, the pop

culture battle to the ego death. OK, everybody, word association with Troubled Waters, first one to fumble loses. Go. Comedy. Panel show. Guests. Celebrities. Games. Association with troubled waters first one to fumble loses go comedy panel show guests celebrities games Oh Sound rounds improvised speeches puns disguised as trivia a very niche flash Gordon clip Shuffle Rowan. Oh, no Riley. I'm sorry. She will not return our phone calls. I am afraid you're out a

Girl can dream. Oh, but dreaming will not earn a girl any points troubled waters listen on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcasts I'm yucky Jessica I'm Chuck Crudsworth and this is terrible a podcast where we talk about things we hate that are awful today we're discussing wonderful a podcast on the Maximum Fun Network. Hosts Rachel and Griffin McElroy, a real life married couple. Yuck! Discuss a wide range of topics.

Music, video games, poetry, snacks. But I hate all that stuff. I know you do, yucky Jessica. It comes out every Wednesday, the worst day of the week, wherever you download your podcasts. For our next topic, we're talking Fiona, the baby hippo from the Cincinnati Zoo. I hate this little hippo.

["Sense of You"] Overheard. Overheard. When you hear it, we want to hear it too. It's only fair. If you're hearing things, why not us? Why can't we have a piece of that action? And we always like to start with the guest, Steve, do you have an overheard?

I have an overheard that occurred at my day job. The cubicle row next to mine, I heard an argument going on between two staff members and one goes, oh no, the Jonas Brothers are for sure bigger than Green Day. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Big bold statement.

And I don't know if this violates the rules of overheards, but I, I joined the conversation. I popped my head over the cubicle and said, what the hell are you talking about? And so then there was a three way sort of argument, uh, where I was on team Green Day, obviously, cause I'm a sane person. Uh, and so we, we had to look up what metrics would qualify

cause she said bigger or more popular, I believe. So Green Day has sold three times as many albums. Uh, the Jonas brothers have 2 million more followers on Instagram, so there was like ETAD checks in their column sort of thing. And so this was a running sort of joke back and forth at work, and then two days later, the Coachella lineup got announced and Green Day is headlining one day and the Jonas Brothers are not present.

Nice. I felt very vindicated. Okay. So I, we did this at work a while ago where we were trying to find the artists with the most monthly listeners on Spotify. Okay. Cause that was the metric we were using. Bad Bunny?

What month? Well, it just says monthly listeners. Okay. Cause that was the metric we were using. Bad Bunny? What month? Well, it just says monthly listeners. So Green Day, 32.6 million monthly listeners. Okay. Yeah. Jonas Brothers, 20.1. Which is still a lot of monthly listeners, but Green Day wins.

Yeah. Yeah. Also, I don't think I could name a Jonas Brothers song if I was pressed. Not that I wasn't avoiding them, but I don't know. The one that was on the radio a lot, like a year or two ago was, I'm a sucker for you. Oh yeah. Yes, yes, yes.

I know that one, okay. Bad Bunny you mentioned, 65 million. Whoa, that blows the screen day right out of the water. But like with the one when we were doing it at work, we found, so where's jazz in the background on this list? Taylor Swift, 90.5 million. Oh damn.

And the one we found that was bigger than her, but it might not be any more. Any guesses? Sugar Man from Searching for Sugar Man. Charles Mingus. Oh, it's now less than Taylor Swift. Ed Sheeran. Oh Ed Sheeran. Oh, Ed Sheeran.

Yes. Dave, do you have one over here? Yeah. I do. Mine is from a Scottish restaurant in the neighborhood called McDonald's. Okay, sure. He,

there was a guy ordering something from McDonald's. He like, he didn't know what he wanted. Right. And he was kind of like, the, the, the employee was kind of, um, trying to figure out what he wanted. And he was like, she was like, do you want the habanero or the Philly? And he goes, uh, whatever's spicier.

And, um, and she she goes oh yeah so the habanero and he goes just yeah and just try to make it as spicy as possible and she's like uh-huh and then as this order is being prepared he goes and talks to another employee and says like hey can you make sure my orders extra spicy? And she's like, what? Yeah, just can you talk to the kitchen and make sure that it's extra spicy? And so the employee goes back to the kitchen and she's like, he wants it extra spicy. And the person you just hear a voice from the kitchen say, extra what? There's no extra that. Like you can get more of whatever sauce,

but it doesn't go higher. This is McDonald's. This is what we do. We get sent the sauce from Ray Kroc. We don't have actual habaneros in the back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there was always a thing when I worked at a coffee shop that people would be like,

make the milk extra hot. And I was like, I don't think you know what properties milk has. At a certain temperature, it starts to kind of go rotten. Like you can't. Or evaporate. Yeah. So like, I would always, yep, for sure. You got it.

And then I put it up on the counter. Cappuccino, extra hot. So that the person... Well, that is like, sometimes you get it and it's just not hot enough. Yeah, I understand that but that's not my problem I love I always love when you see people in cafes who order a specific temperature They're like I want a 180 degree whatever and I'm like, do you have a thermometer in your pocket that you're gonna verify? hot you asshole, you're not actually I that you're gonna verify. Just say extra hot, you asshole.

You're not actually. I mostly make coffee at home, but I was out on a weekend, like a certain Neil Young, and I was going to a cafe and I wanted to get a latte. And they said, what kind of milk do you want? And I was like, dairy. And he didn't know what I meant.

And I was like, you know, like 2%, whatever, whole, whatever you've got. And he's like, okay, let me check. We've got soy, oat, and skim. And I was like, skim, I guess. Weird, because skim is not a good frothing. And it was not good. No, you want a 2% or higher

Usually if you're gonna go with it, just go with a hole, you know go for it. Yeah, they didn't have it So no hole. No like you know nothing Like a certain birth defect Mine comes courtesy of being walking through Douglas Park community area. There's a big jungle gym there. And I walked past there was a kid standing up on the highest point of the jungle gym and then three kids at the bottom and they were kind of getting him to jump off. And they started singing,

I wanna wish you a happy landing. They were all singing it. It was great. Yeah. I didn't see the kid jump, but it was great. It was a great. I hope he did have a happy landing. Yeah. For sure.

I wanna wish him that. I started watching it and I will continue later but the final late show with David Letterman Christmas episode oh with that what is Carol no it's um who sings Merry Christmas please come home did I want to say Darlene love Darlene love ice. And it's always like the Christmas episode always had the same things it had Darlene love it had Paul Schaeffer did his impression of shared singing. How have I never seen this.

It always has. What's his face? J? Leno? No Pharaoh? What was the actor's name? He was on... Oh my god. Can't be Baruchel. It's not Baruchel

He- J-Mor? It's not J-Mor. We're running out of J's. We're saying all the J's. He, he, more. It's not Jay more. We're running out of J's. We're saying all the J's. Was he, I think he was the guy who played Carla's husband on Cheers. Oh, that's, yeah, I don't know his.

And he would always come on. Jay's Cuscoozie or something like that. No, Jay Thomas. Oh yeah. You would know Jay Thomas. Yeah, yeah. And he, every year he came on and told his story of his Lone Ranger story. Right.

Which is a classic story he told every year on Letterman. And then they would, there would be a meatball on top of the Christmas tree and he and David Letterman would try to hit it off with a football. ball on top of the Christmas tree and he and David Letterman would try to hit it off with a football. I found it on YouTube. It's a great Christmas tradition. It's a it's that's how traditions are born. Just one stupid thing happens once and you're like, we're gonna do this forever until we

hate it. My brother-in-law had one that that he was trying to start with these kids and I think it was like a really good idea. It was like very sweet, is he would take a branch from last year's Christmas tree. So, you know, take the branch from 2024 Christmas tree, and then they would have a fire before they decorated the next tree

and they put that branch in the fire. Okay. And he like invented that. And I was like, that's cool. That's really, that sounds like a tradition. All of his traditions he invents have something to do with fire though. Yeah, he's a bit of a pyro.

Yeah. That's- Otherwise great guy. Absolutely, he burns down, you know. Wonderful father. Yeah. Mostly abandoned buildings he blows, mostly. Yeah, he has this sort of wicker man thing

he's come up with. But yeah. But the letter in tradition was they had every year the Christmas tree would have like a pizza on top and a meatball and a bunch of like stupid decorations and they got the one of the like the quarterback for the New York Jets was the guest. He's like well why don't we try to knock that meatball off with some footballs and the quarterback was missing all of them. And then J Thomas was like the next guest on.

Get out of my way. He ran out, grabbed a football and got it in one. Danged it. Yeah. I love it. Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it in to sbyatmaximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Andrew C. from Vancouver.

I was at the West End Seniors Aging with Pride celebration of the gay community and drag performer, Totti, was singing as Julie Andrews. Okay. They were going to perform, perform, going to perform another song and ask the crowd to guess what celebrity they were gonna do next. And a little old lady shouted out, Meatloaf!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Julie Andrews to Meatloaf, we cover it all here! Was this a Christmas thing? Uh, no, it's just called Aging with Pride. Oh, okay. Um, yeah, I mean, Julie Andrews, she fits in the Christmas, right? Although, she didn't sing any specifically Christmas songs. My favorite things has become a Christmas song. Yeah, Sound of Music is associated with Christmas

for some reason. I think they play it on TV. Is there Christmas scenes in it? I don't, it's, I don't know. No, but it does, it feels like it belongs in the holiday. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Catalog. And it's like, I've, I know Toddy, a very, very talented performer. Went to school for opera, if I'm not mistaken. Yes, a beautiful, beautiful singing voice. And so can do Julie Andrews very well. So the thought that someone would see Toddy's dainty little frame and yell out meatloaf after hearing them do Julie Andrews is hilarious.

I would do anything for love. Sing that specific song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also love the idea of Toddy doing Paradise by the Dashboard Lights in front of a bunch of bewildered old gays. I just think that's a wonderful image. Yeah, I finally got to hear one Meelo song. What would it be?

Probably the song he does in Roy Hoare Picture Show. Yes, absolutely. What's the one that's like objects in the rear view mirror are closer than they appear? That not Paradise by the Dashboard light? I don't know. I think it's, they're all about cars and motorcycles. Yeah, yeah, he's, he had a thing that he was like,

I don't know how he became famous, but like I like a lot of his songs, but I just don't know. There was a good- Against all odds that he'd become a famous person. Totally. There was a good episode of,

oh, what was it called? There's a podcast about like the charts and every episode would be about a different person or a different phenomenon. Chris Malanfi, who was the host, I can't remember the name of the show, but they did one about Meat Loaf and the guy who wrote all his songs, Jim Steinman.

And he also wrote, like he had like 10 versions of Total Eclipse of the Heart that he wrote before Bonnie Tyler got famous with it. And Meat Loaf wanted to record it so bad and he wouldn't let him. Speaking of Bonnie Tyler and Meat Loaf, she was supposed to be the female vocalist on I Would Do Anything for Love, but for some reason it didn't work out.

And so the woman who sings the vocals on that only got paid like a studio session fee because it was supposed to be a demo. No way. And then he used it and that song went like 28 times platinum and she never got royalties from it. Really? Yeah. So, Bernie and Helen.

Same thing happened to Lewin Davis. Yeah, he had a hard time. He had a hard time. He was supposed to get paid for that astronaut song. Was the woman who sang that song the woman in the video? No, no, they used a model in the video. Oh, okay, they sure did. Yeah. That was in that like 90s phase of like,

where Martha Walsh sang every great chorus and they just used some model in her place. Just for Martha Walsh. Everybody dance now. It was actually me. Oh, it was you? Yeah. You hit it.

You hit it perfectly. Still got the notes. No. I tried to find, I tried to get to the bottom of this and I didn't get a satisfactory answer is who did the rapping on Black and White, the black or white Michael Jackson song. Oh, that's a great trivia question and I can't remember it. It's not somebody famous though.

It's like I looked it up and I didn't find, it was like weird rappers. You mean to tell me that wasn't actually Macaulay Culkin? No, it was Macaulay Culkin and they aged up this voice. But I wanna know what name he did it under. It's a turf war on a global scale. I wanna hear both sides of the tale. You got notes and rhymes.

It was MC Scat Cat. Yeah, oh yeah, he worked with Paula Dewell and Michael Jackson. Before dying of an overdose. Yeah. Yeah. This next one comes from, whoop, Andrea from Pittsburgh. This is from a conversation between my husband and daughter

about whether she wanted to go by a nickname. She was about four years old, husband. You wanna be called Sky or Skyler, daughter? Just call me the truth of death. All right. Okay. All right, yeah. As you wish.

Yeah, now that I know that's what you wanna be called, I'm freaked out a little. As you wish now, yeah now that I know that's what you want to be called and freaked out a little That's like that's heavy even for my adult men friends, yeah, who I mostly just call kev Sky or Skyler neither. Did you ever have a nickname gray? Gray, gray zone. You know, there was a lot of, uh, Oh, Clark bar, Graham cracker, and there was also, Graham bow was one that a couple of people call me. Most of the grams I've known, I've referred to as Graham bow grams that I worked with have always been Graham.

Graham Lam is one that I got, you know, blackberry. Yeah. The gremlin. No, never the gremlin, but that's good. That is good. I would accept the gremlin. Okay. From now on. Moving forward.

It's a you and me thing. Yeah. And you Steve is, I'm guessing Steve with three E's. Right. Yeah, exactly. Just, yeah. I got a lot of Steve-O in high school, but Stevie from my family.

Stevie. Yeah. Steve-O, like I feel like that was a common one, but I feel like Steve-O, the guy kind of took that away from everybody. Totally. Like now you can't be Steve-O, but I feel like Steve-O the guy Kind of took that away from everybody totally like now you can't be Steve-O There's only one Steve well the drummer from some 41 also went by Steve-O I know and it's just at the same time with the same haircut same teeth Finally we have this one from Aaron a from Charlottetown PEI Finally, we have this one from Aaron A from Charlottetown, PEI. My 10-year-old gets $5 a week for a few light chores.

Recently, he started doing the morning dishes. I told him that we could raise his allowance to $7 if he does the dishes without putting up a fight. He countered with, how about six with a fight? Well, you're already getting five with a fight. I know, but we're the negotiation. I'm fine with six. I'll take six, but I got to still cause a ruckus here.

I respect it. Yeah. Pay him what he's worth. I wonder how far apart the postal strike is from getting resolved before Christmas for people who don't know. There's a big strike in Canada. I ordered things offline and they're never gonna get here. Why did you order them offline?

Uh, because my house is wireless. And by that I mean there's no wires in my house. Okay. What did that have to do with the buying something? Oh, just negotiation. Oh, okay. Yeah. Well, in it is an overheard that are written in, we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spypod one. Like these people have. Hi, this is Deborah from Reston, Virginia. I have an overheard in the kids say the darnest category. We just had American Thanksgiving and my husband asked my five-year-old nephew what he was thankful for

and he said, my penis. And my husband said, oh, because you're a boy. And he said, I'm thankful for my penis because it helps me pee. And I'm thankful for my pee-as because it helps me pee and I'm thankful for my butt because it helps me poop. Classic. This is classic. So off I go. Any chance to insert pee or poo into the conversation. My butt doesn't help me poop.

I help it. It's like, we're, it's- You're putting up all the work. It's doing, I mean, it's kind of the boss. Yeah, and you know what? Penis can help you pee. It's one of the great functions of the penis. Absolutely, top three, top three best, yeah.

Yeah, let's go through the top 10. Popcorn bucket prank. Sure, that's the prank that one of the Fairly brothers would do. The wristwatch? Yeah, he would hold it over his wrist and say to Cameron, do you like my new wristwatch? Also in the Fairly brothers canon,

zipping your penis into the when you're zipping up your pants. I saw something about Mary in the theaters with my father. Really? When I was like 12 or 13, so like just the most awkward pubescent age at all to watch that kind of shit with your dad sitting right beside you. Yeah, the jizz stuff I think just the most awkward pubescent age at all to watch that kind of shit with your dad

sitting right beside you. Yeah, the jizz stuff I think would be harder than the mangled penis. I think the mangled penis was maybe the biggest laugh I've ever witnessed in a movie theater. How'd you get the beans above the Frank? It's just gray writing. Yeah, it's just solid writing.

All right, here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and guys. This is Brent from Colorado. I was just shopping grocery store and this lady had left her buggy at the end of an aisle so I couldn't get out. And I just, you know, sat over the cart. Hey, ma'am, excuse me. And she turned around and looked at her buggy and she goes, I'm sorry.

I just saw these donuts and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. All right. Off I go. Nice. That was mostly for the end. Yeah. Someone leaves their buggy in the aisle and you need to get by it. Do you go and you say, excuse me, ma'am,

or do you just push it? I push it. You move it like politely. Yeah, you don't just like, yeah. I mean, if I have also got a buggy, clang, clang, clang. Damn it. Yeah, I think pushing it aside is,

that's fair play in the- They didn't. It's less rude than leaving your buggy in the middle of an aisle. sometimes we'll like find an aisle like a less busy aisle and leave mine there yeah you know what's the least busy aisle in the grocery it's the ones that are no it's the ones that are like you know more sort of pharmacy products oh yeah Like L'Oreal and whatnot. Or just like the, you know, toilet paper.

Oh sure. I don't use toilet paper, I just use L'Oreal. That's my go-to. Well, you don't use toilet paper because you got no wires. Two things at Graham's house, no wires, no TP. It's all offline. Think I might've taken that wires joke

from the office now that I think about it. But you know what? They've got all the residuals I might've taken that wires joke from the office now that I think about it. But you know what? They've got all the residuals. I can make a joke. Yeah, that should be, that should be allowed. It's free, right? Fair game.

They got all the money off the joke. I should be able to do some of their jokes. I think. That's what she said. Right? This is good. Hi, Dave, Graham and guest. It's Heather from Vancouver again. I'm calling with an older scene. I just saw a HelloFresh truck parked outside of an apartment building where, and then another

HelloFresh truck pulled up and the guy got out and as he was approaching the building, the other HelloFresh driver came out and they like saw each other and we're like, yeah, so happy to see each other and hug Hello fresher family very wholesome. Thanks. Oh, it's nice. I like I like the idea of You know workers of a company that maybe don't even know each other just hugging on site They probably knew each other but probably even know each other just hugging on site. They probably knew each other, but... Probably. Sometimes you'll see like bus drivers give each other the like a little wave and I always think, do they know each other from bus school? Or

conversely sometimes you'll see like a bus driver who's off duty or about to start the shift just walk onto a bus and walk right by and go to the back and I'm like, oh are they fighting? Do they hate each other? Oh yeah, they're not hanging out with each other. Or are they these warring drivers? It's uh, the craziest thing about driving the bus is like the bathroom situation. Like you have to pinpoint somewhere that will let you use the bathroom every day, right? Like I found when our neighbor's house was under construction, how many like delivery drivers saw construction sites, knew there would be a porta potty and... Yeah, that's the trick of the trade.

Yeah. Construction houses are a place you can pee. Yeah. You know what? You can just pee around them too because the house isn't built yet. That's true. So it just becomes part of the house. And a lot of, you know, pee on the windows.

Yeah. Give them a test run. Yeah, because a lot of them still have a little film on them too. Oh yeah, so you just peel it right off. Perfect. Oh, did you, when this house was built, do you get to peel off any plastic from anything? Cause that would be the saddest thing. I peeled off the entire roof.

Still have the plastic cover on it? Well, this house was built out of an iPhone, so I got to take off. They should at least leave one thing for you to do if they put in new windows or something. Just leave it. So satisfied. We left it on this one if you want to peel it.

Oh, thanks, guys. I do like what I love is a product I did not know had a plastic film on it till three years in and I'm like, there's a fricking plastic film I can take off this microwave. The microwave, exactly. Or even just like the microwave pad, like the button pad. And then it works a little bit better, just a tiny bit. Um, well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Steve, thank you so much for being our guest.

Thank you for having me. This was really fun. And, uh, like we said before, you have a show once a month at Little Mountain Gallery. Confession booth comedy, 9.30. on the second Thursday of every month. And my special Endless Bummer is available on YouTube. Oh, Endless Bummer. I mean, you also have one called Burger Queen.

Burger Queen from 2020 and then this past year, Endless Bummer. Nice. Well, thank you. And thank you, everybody out there for listening. You know what? Take a moment to explore your house and see if there's anything that has a plastic film on it and just rip that baby right off. No, go slow, go slow.

Oh yeah, go slow, that's true. It's not a band-aid. Uh, come on back next week for artist-owned shows supported directly by you.