Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 879 - Aaron Read

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

Comedian Aaron Read returns to talk childhood malls, the Robbie Williams movie, and Sum 41. Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 879 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who, despite his wrist problems, he was able to make a coffee, put on the recording, come down here, put on a brave face, and record the podcast, Mr.

Dave Schumke. Yep. Despite all my wrist, I'm still just a rat with a cyst. I love that song. First draft. First draft. Yep, despite all my wrist, I'm still just a rat with a cyst. I love that song. First draft, first draft. With some guys I was thinking despite all my wrist, because I also have a wrist problem. What if we say rage?

Well, it's not going to rhyme with. Oh, yeah. A rat in a eating phage, that yogurt. I also have a pimple. Oh no! A weird- Welcome to your middle year. I guess this is growing up.

Yeah, yeah. First pimple in a while. Pimple plan. Yeah. Yeah. Pimple plan, yeah. Nice, nice. I'm just a kid and I have a pimple.

I need a plan to get rid of the pimple. There you go, nice. Did they have a violin simple plan or is that yellow knife that was yellow? I don't know yellow knife It was a pop-up man, which was a bit different cuz they had a violin guy Yeah, that voice Listeners to the show will instantly recognize a return guest here on the podcast his album soft bug ego jazz Yeah, and special and special are available now Had to come in with a Spence diamonds like You guys are gonna get sued Spencer's gonna be

They said our guest's name. Oh, he's a Ernie area and it's gonna be out on on Vimeo and to download and band camp to download for a week and then you know Then you give it the fuck and then you throw her in the trough for the pigs Now Vimeo. It's Spotify. Love Vimeo. You can rent and download. You can rent and download.

I've done it. I did it for James A. Caster. How was it? It was awesome. Spill the tea, spill the tea. I was James A. Caster. It was the old one and it was really good. Okay, nice. Aaron, let's get to know us.

Get to know us. You started off talking about, oh my god, there's already so many topics. Yellow knife. Yellow, okay. You grew up playing- Yellow card, sorry, not yellow knife. Oh, yellow card, I forgot. Yeah, my bad, y'all. Yeah, yeah, yellow card.

You grew up playing violin, is that right? Totally did. Classical and fiddle. And did you, when you were fiddle, you like, beggin' to Ashley McKisick, or was that- Well, he was a bad boy. He was a bad boy. You know, I was like a teenager when that was cool and I was beginning to be like I am forced to play this instrument. I have no

I don't like it, but I do and I still do but so I never really like Ashley MacIsaac, Natalie McMaster Natalie McMaster was like the the figure skater you know your Your Nancy Kerrigan and Ashley McCoskey would have been your fucking town yardic, my buffer's gonna kill you, I didn't do that. Do you, I sold my website, she sold her website. He used to play so hard that the bow would be all fucked up at the end of the song. Yeah man man, yeah. Well, and it is cool. Like, I think that the violin and fiddle history is cool of, like, kitchen parties and, like, like teaching young kids how to play it, all that. I like that.

I don't really like the rock and roll violin aspect of... I never really... Not like an electric violin that you plug in. Yeah. I was gonna ask, because you mentioned Yellowknife and then you corrected it to Yellowcard. Did you have a catalog of, like, okay, so these are the big violin rock band? Well, I only remember it because whenever people found out I played violin, then like, people played rock with like, you gotta jam with this.

And then I would, and I'd be like, I would just, because I was people pleaser, I would just do it. But I'd be like, I don't know why I'm coming to these. Their music was cool, but I was just like, I'm not enjoying it. I don't know all the scales you guys are doing. Yeah, yeah. I think Pulp also had a violinist. I was just going to say, what were the other bands that had a violinist?

Pulp, That Dog. Pulp, That Dog. Like famous ones? I mean, Yellow Cards is famous as any of them. I mean, I feel like the Revenge of the Nerds band had a guy playing electric violin. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. At the end of the movie.

Nigel Kennedy did a good Jimi Hendrix cover. I'm sure one of the Barren Naked Ladies would have a fucking violin player. Oh, I'm sure. They had a bass guy. They had the stand-up bass guy. They had a bass guy, yeah. That's got bass bass guy. Yeah That's gotta be the heart free What's his name? It's free Steven page. Yeah, yeah release the tapes

Steven page What did he do more than cocaine and if it was just good little back in yeah? Yeah, yeah, if it's come on it made him that's trash or more efficient like he was efficient Yeah, how do you how do you get the jab? But even Bob do booboo if you're not on a bit of cocaine. He wasn't that guy. I know that's true He wrote it he wrote it. Okay. Well because I was For you it's not for me. It goes like this the timeline we were talking a few weeks ago at the timeline of when the He doesn't wait later the

Big Bang Theory. Oh, yeah, and whether Stephen Page was still in the band. Apparently he was but he he was later kicked out of the band for Doing cocaine as their children's album was coming out or like They couldn't yeah, but now that- That's so silly. I know. Wasn't he like, I was doing some snuffle-upagus. That's, kids love that stuff. And then the Chuck Lorre, is that who was the founder of Big Bang Theory?

I think probably. Two and a half men. Yeah. Although he wrote the theme song for Two and a Half Men. Wow. He wrote it himself. And he also wrote the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song. He did?

Yeah. No way. Chuck Lor? Yeah. God, that's, I, that complicates him for me. Yeah. But then he was at a concert, a Baroness of the Lady concert where Ed from the Baroness of the Lady freestyled a rap about the universe and he's like, that, I want that.

Nice. That song reminds me of how the world is in so much pain every time I hear it. Like it reminds me that Big Bang Theory's on and I'm about to have a blast. But it also reminds me that like of malls and plastic and disease, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think malls are the biggest problem?

Because it does it goes fast, right? Yeah. The what? You think malls are the biggest problem at all? Yeah, I wanna yeah. Because it does it goes fast, right? Yeah. The what? Do you think malls are the biggest problem? Yeah, I want to be those English teachers like the mall is hell and it's killing us. The malls got, teacher doesn't know about social media, the mall. Yeah. It's sort of the- Movies.

Yeah. Violence in video games as well. The mall is sort of our urban oasis. It's our meeting place, the marketplace. But it's all a lie. If you really think about it. But it smells like Lush. Oh yeah. I had an English teacher who was really into like the lie of the mall was telling us about it. And she was right. But I was like a weird kid. What was the lie of the mall? She was just like, I hate the mall. It's capitalism and all this.

And then that would be like mom and pop shops at the mall. Now, like in Europe against your Amazons and what not. Yeah, she was railing against like, they do their alterations and cut keys. They have things engraved. I used to, I like to be going from shop to shop to get these things. Yeah, now you grew up in Burnaby, what was your?

Lohede. Lohede, not Metro Town? Metro Town was like, oh, it's Friday night. And Lohede was like, it's Thursday, it's Monday to Thursday. Have you been back to the Amazing Brentwood? Oh, I've gone to the Brentwood, what's it called now? It's called... It's called the Amazing Brentwood. Is it really called the Amazing Brentwood?

Yeah. Amazing Brentwood? Wow. I love it because they haven't finished devouring the old mall on the on the east side so and they did instead of using a construction company a demolition company They have a giant monster devouring devouring. Yeah slowly. It's cheaper, and it's more ego-friendly to have a monster Just yeah anything you want just shadowing over it did when you were a youth Did Metro Town have like a movie theater and like big arcade that was attached to the movie theater? The one in Metro Town the arcade was always lady. Yeah. Okay, so I was really small

We had we had the Metro Town at this moment where they're like worry are one of the top fucking malls Come on down y'all. We had Rainforest Cafe And but then it all went away so fast like like the I think the Rainforest Cafe, Lady Up, but then it all went away so fast. Like the, I think the Rainforest Cafe was in and out of there within three years. We went, cause it's one of those places where you go one time, like my dad brought us one time, we had chicken dino nuggets.

But what was it? I never went in, I just heard about it. Rainforest Cafe? Yeah. It was like, you go get scammed into eating like garbage space food. You don't have to scam me and just tell me right up. But everything is a rainforest theme. So there's a big animatronic gorilla.

Oh shit. And there's a mist everywhere. And the whole menu is like dino themed and animal themed. It is like water falling. Yeah, and like there's a every hour there's like a like thunder and fake rain and like a story and stuff. Sounds amazing. No, it is cool. Yeah.

I feel like the 90s were a big time for Vancouver getting things that like just it probably all had to do with the strength of the Canadian dollar Which as soon as that went down Like right. No one's going to Planet Hollywood anymore. No one. Yeah, we had a plan I can't keep the Vancouver Grizzlies. There was a Planet Hollywood here. Yeah in in Vancouver proper Yeah, it was right next to the Virgin Megastore right Like our Chevy's got depleted all the Chevy's what's a Chevy isn't Chevy's a Chevy Chase restaurant in this in the states I am I wrong I

always get this fact wrong and then I think I someone tells me the real you always get this fact the real version are you thinking of chilies no but Chevy can't be chevy's Chevy's Chevy Chase have a restaurant called Chevy's I mean I've never in the US. I don't know. Is there a restaurant? He's looking at it keeps doing this the other day my studio mate texted me that he got a broom and I said I know and he's like How do you know I got it this morning when I got to the studio? I was like, can you get an orange dustbin? He's like no. I was like, okay, I dreamed that you bought a broom.

Um, there is a place in Maryland, a town called Chevy Chase, and that's all it's giving me. What about, search just Chevy Restaurant without the Chase, because I think I'm just getting it wrong. Chevy's Fresh Max Mexican? Yeah, nevermind. I thought Chevy Chase owned a Chevy's Fresh Max. I mean, that would be amazing if Chevy Chase owned it. Chevy's fresh man.

I mean, that would be amazing if you were the one who unveiled this to everybody. That would be cool. A lot of people don't know about Chevy Chase. It gives off so much misinformation all the time to people. Yeah. You're Infowars. It's, I am, yeah. Yeah. I don't think Chevy Chase is doing great, like, professional. Like, doing great, like professional. Like, it's hard to tell with so many of those people of that generations, like, yeah, I got in early and, you know, real estate, and now I'm super rich. Yeah. But I think Chevy Chase, like he still goes around and now has to like, go around at Christmas and do like Q&A's for the National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.

He's still a dick. Because I heard a thing about, is it Ivan Reitman who directed the... Jason Reitman. Jason Reitman. And he was at a test screening of it and afterwards walked up to me and he's like, how does it feel to have made a horrible film? Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself. Have either of you seen it?

No. Which movie? The Saturday Night Live movie. Oh, he went up. That's so funny. Have you seen it? No, which movie the Saturday Night Live? Oh He went Why don't you just go home like a regular person get jack-in-the-box on your way home I just stopped by a Chevy's I Saw it over Christmas. Yeah, and how is it? I Loved it. Yeah

It was so fun to like hang out backstage. Like there's so many things wrong with it that you're like, no, that didn't, there's no way they were like, spent the whole first episode, like Al Franken's not waiting for the blood to arrive for the Julia Child sketch that airs four weeks later. They just took like a bunch of stories. Like JK Simmons is in it as Milton Perl and he doesn't take out his dick everywhere he goes. As I recall, he's quite reluctant. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Just had to bring out enough.

Oh, so they like put a bunch of like SNL stress facts into one night. Yeah. That's cool. It's funny, Evil Men's Mike Belazzo says the suspense in the movie is whether or not they're going to play a rerun of the Tonight Show. Will they pull off this live show or will there be a rerun? It's great. It's so fun.

I mean, it's not great, but it's so fun. I love it. Yeah. Fun to watch. I've been watching the... I apologize for where we are at with the podcast, But it's so fun. I love yeah, but what I've been watching the this is I Apologize for where we are at with the podcast, but I'm because I'm gonna start talking about it. That's a dell history YouTube series Okay, very this is very boring, but don't there's a there's a YouTube two people because the 50th anniversary I'm a bit of SNL it okay, and so sue me and This their 50th year that we're currently in? Yeah, there's someone doing like these 30 minute videos of every season and right now

they're a season 19. And it's really cool because they give you the cultural context of all the episodes like in the 90s. So season 19 would be like Farley Sandler. Yeah. Like Spade. They're all getting canned right now and now it's like the early 2000s crew is coming in. You're Will Ferrell's. Yeah. Cherries O right now and now it's like the early 2000s crew is coming in. Your Will Ferrells. Yeah. Cherries O'Terries. It's like the Chris Kattan, Will Ferrell and then Tracy Morgan.

In between that era, they brought in like Mark McKinney and Michael McKeen. Yeah. And Janine Garofalo maybe. It seems like a lot of people from the 80s. Yeah. There's a lot of people who are on it for like really briefly. And then like only one or two people from the 80s who they like try and stick around. Oh yeah, John Lovitz.

John Lovitz. Well, he and then he has a running gag where he leaves the show but he won't stop showing up to the seasons after he's retired because he's looking for work. I know on the 40th anniversary, they everybody in their monologue kept making fun of John Lutz. Yeah. And it would cut him. Like a running gag. I love him.

Yeah, he's so funny. He is really good. So you're watching YouTube series. You know everything there is to know about SNL. One other thing that you talked about right off the top, when you did a big woo for Spence Diamonds. Spence Diamonds, yeah. Ah, wow!

Spence Diamonds is a local diamond store. That about sums it up. And a- A lot of radio ads. A lot of radio ads that have, people have hated for decades. They're like classic radio ads, energy way over thehuh. The joke is usually like my husband forgot this cuz he's a big awful with the balls and the dick and the no brain No, if it was like that, I think we'd all love it I mean, that's the subtext they do it with like, oh honey

And they bring in characters who are like, I guess part of the spent but not inside his universe Yeah but not the used to be Doug spent from Spence diamonds and the Spence family is not there anymore and they don't have the jingle anymore spence diamonds better by design I remember that I didn't even know that I'm in Calgary because why would I know that song well definitely Canada wide chain is it I wonder it's gotta be I don't know okay spent, Spence diamonds locations Let's see if there's more Chevy Chase locations or Spence diamond location. I love that the computer in the spy

Recording office the history must be just so but now but esoteric like Chevy's Chevy Chase Now it's Spence Spenceence Diamonds. Location. Doug. Where's Doug? Doug alive. Doug alive. Oh, they do have one in Calgary on the McLeod Trail. There we go.

That's why I- Oh, they have Mississauga, Vaughan, Scarborough. Okay, this is Canada wide, nationwide. Hell yeah, coast to coast. As far east as Ottawa, which is right on the border with Quebec. That's right. You got a little city like Hull, you know?

A little bit of both. It's a famous diamond both famous. I don't think they call it anymore Canadian place all they don't call it Hall get no the town is called cat now think so When's the last time you heard someone say Hall last time was in Ottawa? Okay, somebody said all the kids go and get drunk in Hall Go to Hall Oh the Ottawa's different than Winnipeg but nearby eh? Yeah Winnipeg Jets really they really went for the Canucks the other day. They went for them. They really it's like what was it 7-4? 6-1. Wow that's bad. That's really bad. Me I'm

a devil's man I couldn't care less for these at will I think the devil's can go to? Hall oh That's good cuz that's where we're from baby That's him playing a violin That's a joke I stole from a Real Canadian air first tape we used to have Yeah, the source of like the real shit. Yeah.

When I was going through some boxes of things, I found, I had a Royal Canadian Air Force book. It was like a book based on the series and how I came across it, I have no idea. I've never read it, but I can't really get rid of it, right? No, yeah, you got it. That has to stay with me for the rest of my life. Yeah, you have to like you have to like dip it in resin and cover it in like corporate poppies. So for anyone unfamiliar, Royal Canadian Air Force is kind of like Canada's SNL.

It's kind of like Canada's SNL. And if SNL was like allowed to say whatever they wanted and do really cool weird sketches. Instead of hiring young people to be on the show, they got the old people. You know like your uncle who doesn't talk a lot, he's the star or whatever. You know your aunt who's offensive and loud and cheesy, she's also the star. Yeah. There was a guy back in the first iteration of it called, what was his name?

The guy dressed as a Mountie. When you say the first iteration, you mean the television iteration. Yeah, the television. Because it was on for 40 years on the radio first. This guy was on the radio show. Bob, fuck. No. You know what I'm talking about Ferguson Don Ferguson No, I mean yes, Don Ferguson was on it, but there was a guy who did in the computer of Doug and Bob's and Man, Royal Canadian Air Force, Texas, which guy not none of those four there was another Dave something

Yeah, he was Dave Broadfootfoot. Dave Brodfoot. Yeah, he would do a monologue. Can you name any of these people just from this picture? Oh, no, that's Chris Wilson. That's Chris Wilson. That's Don Ferguson on the far right. Whoa, Chris Wilson was on Fars and 22?

Yeah. He did the whole Canadian... I think he was on Mad TV and SNL and Fridays and Thursday Night Live based on Seattle Tacoma. Almost live. It's almost live. I always call it Thursday Night Live. Luba Goy there. If you're American, Royal Canadian Air Fars is like Seattle's almost live. 22, 22 minutes is like LA's Fridays Friday nightline Friday. What is do you remember these two guys names? The guy the bald guy is Roger Roger Abbott and then this guy was he British? Yeah, he's not dog

Ferguson's the other guy Yeah, what the hell is his name? The Royal Canadian Air Force is like if you took one hit, one tiny hit of weed and started reading the Bible and he didn't really get high. None of it was really funny, but you walked away with a feeling that some fun was had. Yeah, that some people are having fun making it. Some people are enjoying this, basically like that. There was a- Is it John Morgan?

Must be John Morgan. It's hard to tell, they have so many- There was a sketch show that was kind of more badass on- Apparently, past as Lisa Gilroy was a member at one point. Oh really? Oh wow, cool. They, their final episode of the TV show, they would do a New Year's Eve special every year,

and they canceled it before New Year's Eve, and then they played it on like the 29th. Why'd they cancel it? Oh, they canceled the show proper. Yeah, the show proper. Oh, okay. No, I just remember one night, one New Year's Eve, it was the year Gangnam Style came out. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, God. And so, anytime I think of Gangnam Style, I now think of their parody, Stephen Harper Style.

Stephen Harper Style. Oh no. Jesus Christ. Oh God. Like we could do better. I couldn't do any better. Well, you know what? Stephen Harper Style.

Residential schools never happened to A.O.. Stephen Harper, he was a denialist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you look, Aaron's putting his money where his mouth is. If you think Aaron might be funnier than Airfarce, check out Softbug Ego Jazz. Yeah, check that out. Right, uh, oh yeah, oh, wait, no, yeah, check out the Softbug Ego Jazz. Now, like, this special, I was there at the recording of this special, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, you hosted. Graham, you hosted.

It was so funny. Oh, thank you, yeah. Yeah, and it's like- Yeah, I was recording two years ago. Yeah, that's why that- I had to edit it myself. I had to learn how to edit. That was a fucking nightmare.

That's maybe why I know the name before, because I think maybe last time you were on, you're like, it's coming out. Yeah, if it was 2023, I was editing it. So I knew I was probably like, you probably asked me, is it coming out? So I was like, yeah, probably in a month. I'm just editing it and then cut to a year later later so is it all edited now it's all done yeah it's just it's all I I have everything

it's just well it's out now sorry yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a vimeo vimeo.com check out vimeo and yeah it's but yeah it will be on vimeo and bandcamp for audio and where do we find it on Bandcamp Aaron Reid dot Bandcamp comm? Yeah That's something out ego jazz on Bandcamp And it's real gonna be on Spotify. It's gonna be on Apple music one week after yes So I'm gonna I'm gonna have a week where people can pay. Yeah and support. I'm gonna gatekeep it for a week I'm sorry y'all. I know gatekeeping is Too woke or we all do it. We all and

We all got a gatekeep. Yeah, we all gatekeep. What are you gatekeeping Graham? My different honey recipes, what do you like recipes to make honey or things you make with honey make with honey? Okay. Yeah, like what I can't tell you you can't even tell me what they are. Make with honey. Okay. Yeah. Like what? I can't tell you. You can't even tell me what they are? Okay, honey tarts. Honey drops. Well, if you're in a relationship or married, you're gatekeeping your love.

That's from everyone else. From everyone else. Yeah. I mean, depending on those parameters of your marriage. That's true. Could be all open. Yeah. Yeah.

That's true. Yeah. When Abby and I wrote our vows, we vowed to keep our love. No, that's yes. Yeah. But never from each other. That's good. You got to keep the gate open. Yeah. You got to make sure you're always on the same side of the gate. And even even if you the gate is closed, you got to make the gate just like, you know, the kind you can reach through and touch each other.

Touch each other. Sure. If I ever do a wedding, my vows, I'm going to, I'm going to use my vows to be the first opportunity to me, like leaving a little bit of openness for my relationship. I'm going to be like, I love you forever through thick and thin. And it's just you baby. In less of the future I get, I learn about something that opens my mind up to Polly's or whatever, then I'd like the opportunity

to try that. Yeah, if they come out with a new fantastic robot that you never thought. Yeah, I'd like to have sex with that robot, but also you might have my heart forever, and your dad, because I asked him. In the future. I can't ask your dad.

If I could fuck a robot on the floor. Your hand, your heart, your body, your mind. And he said, don't do that. It's old. It's way too old. I got down on one knee and he was like, get up. It's not for me. Yeah, I got down on one knee and I said, I love kissing your daughter. I love smacking her lips with mine. And she's got such great addition. Funny as hell. Smart. She's smart like a whip. And oh, she's got straight dish funny as hell smart smart like a whip

No, she's so fine. She's smart like Einstein Einstein level brain. Yeah, you did a good job Well, I guess you can marry my daughter sometimes I mess up her hair and I say stick out your tongue I want to take an Einstein picture Let me I want to put on a poster and sell it to college kids. Okay. Hey, put on this bow tie. You, you, you look smart as Bill Knight science guy.

Go down to this pond and meet with the Oppenheimer. This other woman in a trench coat I hired. She's Oppenheimer. She's Oppenheimer, but also maybe later she's, I've written some vows around maybe her her maybe joining us in the In our atomic bedroom Maybe you're joining our nuclear family Well Oppenheimer was based off of a soft core porn in the 80s. Yes, Loppenheimer. It was called

Ape Oppenheimer. Sloppenheimer. I don't know. You put me on the spot and I like Sloppenheimer. You put you on the spot and you say yourself out. I just did the premise, I don't want to do the title. Just throwing it out there. Can you bleep out you leave out hymen you gave these parameters it was a porno movie based on a primer in the 80s so therefore you have something in mind yeah that's true and Oppenheimer's the straight-up version yeah the porn stay back they went back yeah Oppenheimer is based on slop and hymer which is about Albert Einstein having sex with his cousin and telling Oppenheimer about it and Oppenheimer going, that's sloppy, man. You're going to get in trouble later for that.

And that goes on for three hours. It's just a brawn talk. Did he ever get in trouble for that? I don't think so. Did he marry his cousin? Is the song like that? I think he dated, Einstein dated his cousin a lot. And a lot of the geniuses. Well yeah, what do the geniuses know

about having cousin relationships that we believe they're not meant? That was the theory of relativity. It was like. Oh nice. Oh yeah. I am gonna Google Einstein cousin. Have you, Malik Elisal has a good joke,

or he was working on a joke about Einstein and I think I don't want to steal his joke, but I think he says something about E equals my cousin I don't know. It wasn't but she get it. I get it. Yeah, I get the vibe She learned about him his second wife and cousin second wife and first cousin. I don't know My second wife my first cousin, I don't know. My second wife, my first cousin. Elsa Einstein. Elsa Einstein was a cousin of his, yes? First cousin. Was the second wife and cousin of Albert Einstein.

Their mothers were sisters. All right, well, that's fine. Yeah, that's fine, right? Having sex with your cousin. We've all had sex with our cousins, not all have married our cousins. No, no, but we've all. We've all had sex with our cousins. Not all have married our cousins. No, no, but we've all. We've all dipped our feather in that well.

It's a middle, it's a high school and a high school thing. First year college kind of thing. It's college experimentation with your. It's your friends all making a vow that you'll get with your cousin by the end of the summer. Before you- She was married, it was her second marriage and his. So I think you get a practice marriage and you're like, I'm ready for my cousin. Yeah.

Yeah. You go, yeah, you eat at a Chili's and then you go, well, what if I did this Olive Garden style family? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, if you're out there and you think Albert Einstein's a freak, maybe you're the freak. How about that?

So she had three children, it says here, I'm hoping they were all from the first marriage. That's, why did I bring that up? Yeah. Well. Oh, right. Yeah. Because they Oh, right. Yeah. Because they would be too powerful.

Did Einstein have children? I don't know. Children of Albert Einstein? Because that's a lot of pressure. That is a lot of pressure. I would hate that. Even if you tried to do some amateur science. He had three. Yeah.

He had three. He was probably being Bob Dylan's son. He had three children, including Hans. Just don't do what your famous person did. Yeah, yeah, go out on your own. Don't become a physicist. Yeah, three children for- Oh, nice!

Albert. Mazel Tov. With her, with Elsa. I don't think so. And were those kids okay, or? Well, Hans- Or do they come up better? Hans has his own Wikipedia entry, so he had to do all right. Oh nice.

What'd he do? He burned a bunch of barns. Shit. He was a long-time professor of hydraulic engineering at University of California, Berkeley. Oh wow, okay. Wonder if he taught Sharif Abdur Rahim at the Vancouver Grizzlies.

Exactly. But he died in 1973. What, Albert's kids? Yeah, well, no, Hans did, yeah. Hans. Yeah. When did Albert die? Who's, oh. Albert died in 1955.

Einstein? Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, we didn't even have a chance to like, you know, tell him, well, Aaron just took off his whole shirt just you never got to listen to beat the Beach Boys. Oh, yeah What do you have got to listen to Elvis Presley? Yeah, 55 He was probably listening never got to your prince or no, he never he would have loved Prince. Yeah. Yeah Wait, wait, tell it to be sphere

Fear the Mark Wahlberg movie Cape Fear the Robert de Nino What do you have seen the original Cape Fear I think you wouldn't see the De Niro one would he would have seen a beautiful mind Albert would have been in and out of that theater all day. Do you think he would think young Einstein was funny? Oh What was young Einstein? It was Yahoo Sirius, a guy from Australia. Have you ever heard of any of those? No, I've never. It sounds like I'm saying gibberish.

There's a guy called Yahoo Sirius who had like giant hair and I think was some TV star maybe in Australia. Yeah, and he made two movies. Yeah, he made Young Einstein. We played a rock and roll version of Albert Einstein, and then another one called Reckless Kelly. Yeah, or he played a gunslinger? Yeah, like a famous Australian cowboy guy.

Sort of an Australian machine gun Kelly. Yes. Yes. Cool. Yeah, so I bet you, wow, would he have liked those movies? How silly was he about himself, this Albert Einstein? From the one photograph, he seems very silly. Yeah, right, real goofy.

And he married his cousin. That's pretty goofy. What are the things we know about him? That's kind of fucking weird, you know? Yeah, you've always got like a trump card and like, you know, weird things you've done, conversations. Yeah. Never have I ever married my cousin. Drink.

Albert's drinking. To my three children. Yeah, what do we know about him? He, theory of relativity. Wore the same stuff all the time. Desk super mess. Tongue sticking out. Figured out time or something.

He knows what time it is He had crazy hair crazy hair. He they say he failed math, but I don't think that's true You worked at a patent office. Yes, you worked. He did a got milk ad in the 90s They recreated that old photo. Mm-hmm. Does he have a catchphrase over Einstein aside from e equals MC? It's all relative buddy It's all relative his catchphrases. I Did not paint the Mona Lisa's Van Gogh I

Didn't do that as van Gogh We know that some the other guy. DiCaprio. Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh yeah, it's Da Vinci's. Da Vinci's Inquest. Da Vinci's Inquest. That was a Vancouver based television show from the 90s.

About a... Starring... What was the name? About a coroner. Nicholas Campbell? My dad loved Da Vinci's Inquest growing up. Yeah? It was based on a real life coroner who became the mayor. Became the mayor, and he-

A Vancouver? Yeah, Larry Campbell. Whoa. And his- Was it Nicholas Campbell and Larry Campbell? No. Uh, I don't know. All right, we're looking up Da Vinci's Inquest.

And they say Canada doesn't have a star system or celebrity system. Yeah, exactly. We make TV shows out of our mayors slash court. Yeah, well Da Vinci's Inquest became Da Vinci's City Hall. City Hall. And do you know who? Oh, whoa.

Who this, so on Wikipedia starring Nicholas Campbell, second there, Sulika Matthew, do you know who that is? No. No. The mother of past guests, Maddie Kelly. Kelly! Oh, shit! Oh, cool! Okay.

Celica. Um, the uh, uh, the real guy. Da Vinci! That was the theme song. Yeah. Da, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, Oh No, but that is the to cold case or I love my favorite types of intro songs are in the early 2000s when they would use like

kind of like pseudo cultural appropriation like by the survivor theme song that kind of stuff like You talking about the Survivor theme song? That kind of stuff. Like, uh, uh, they do it, like, in cold, it wasn't cold case, but some show would be like, Da-V-G-A!

Oh no, you know what I'm doing? I know what you're doing. I'm doing Dune, new dune stuff in Sounds like like corn oh Freaking a leash. Did you know hon Zimmer came to Vancouver a few months ago and performed it? Yeah at the arena you did. Yeah. Oh no for some No, he does like you know his music music guy like you know on a playing of Guitar yeah, how weird. Darn, you better stop me up.

Just him and an app. I'm gonna stop, stop. It is hands in the time. Alright, I did the Dark Knight sound track, you guys know about that? Here we go, this song's called Joker. Dark me up! This Joker's goin' really wild!

He's led you was a mass Joker! Hey man, the reverb's nuts in here, can we turn it down a bit? That was an Oscar the same year as Joker with an Oscar. Yeah, this song's called Insomnia. Early Pacino. This guy is really dead. Have you seen Insomnia? Oh, many times.

Many times? Well, because Insomnia, I had a learning disability when I was a kid, but certain books would grab me and the Woodward book about John Belushi Wired I read really fast and the book adaptation of the movie the screenplay adaptation Insomnia oh what's the thing where they write a book from a movie novelization of a movie Insomnia really when the Al Pacino one was coming up Yeah, I read that book in anticipation and then my dad took me to the theater to go see insomnia We're rob Williams plays a pedophile. Yeah, and it's like

It's in Alaska and the Sun doesn't go down. I can't get a sleep Chris Nolan Nolan's like one of his first yeah, he did big movie that after memento. I think yeah, it's a remake of a Swedish movie that's really haunting. I think it was shot here in BC as well. Yeah certain parts of it. Yeah It's really Robin Williams is phase where he's like I'm a better Like I'm a ghost and a better What was the name of the movie where he was a ghost pedophile? 24 hour photo, ghost edition. Wow, they made the sequels a one hour photo.

Oh yeah, one hour photo. You've seen Robin do one hour photo. What about a ghost and for 24 and a pedophile. This summer, boinga. He's a big fat summer, boing-a. He's a big fat ghost that boing-a. I really liked that era of all of the like 80s comedy stars being like, no, we're serious now. I'm Steve Martin and this is Shop Girl.

Yeah. My favorite is when Jason Alexander appeared on, I wanna say Law and Order and he wore like a white long hair. No, it was Criminal Minds. Criminal Minds. And he's like a mastermind. Yes. He's like a Saw style killer.

Yes. And he's, yeah, do you have a white mustache as well? Am I misremembering? He does. Yes. He has a white goatee and white long Raiden Mortal Kombat style hair. Did Billy Crystal have a serious movie? My friend Giant with that tall man, yeah, George Marzane Father's day with him and Rob Williams. He had quite a few and one Robin Williams plays a train-hopping Penafile who's huffing gas and touching kids

Sorry touching kids. Sorry. I don't know. No, we see your notes here. I think Rob Shiner's even done one where he's like a guy's wife has a disease. So he's going back in time to become an offensive monkey at a zoo. An offensive monkey at the zoo. Rob Schneider is Coco. The offensive monkey. Going back in time to get DNA to save his wife.

He did like a speaking engagement or something here and got a boot off the stage and they withdrew the money they were going to pay him. What? But what did they expect he was going to do? Yeah. What was he here to do? Like tiny Elvis?

Yeah, making copies. The tiny Elvis, Nicholas Cage. No, I think you're right. Tiny Elvis was. What were the Rob Schneider characters? Making copies. Making copies. I think tiny Elvis was one.

Please give me money. Oh, yeah. Busker guy. Oh, yeah. What were the Rob Schneider characters? Making copies. Making copies. I think Tiny Elvis was one of them. Please give me money. Oh yeah. Busker guy. Oh yeah!

He was like in a lot of trios and a lot of like, in the, like a, yeah. Have you gotten to that season in the U-Dubes? Not yet. We're not at Schneider. Oh no, Schneider is there, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he totally is. Making copies. Making copies. He had like a real, actual, Schneider is there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He totally is making copies making copies like a real

Actual sustained movie career. He did. Yeah with that. He had a good run with bigelow deus bigelow and the animal Mm-hmm and hot girl hot girl Or the That's not to do spigil oh the hot one he like switches body was with a hottie with a hottie. Yeah. What's that even called? Um, and I thought it was hot girl, but it's called some orgasm guy. Now I just Googled raw cheddar characters that came up with orgasm.

Like not for any other reason other than knowing it was bad. His show that was kind of like his Louie CK style show where it's like a comedian struggles with life in LA. Hmm, and it's just insane It's like so it's just so hard to watch something so bad someone have money and make Oh, yeah be around people who are funny. Yeah, still make something. It's just so so bad when he Yeah, still make something that's just so so bad when he In the 90s, but you know what you're putting your money where your mouth is and check out soft buggy. Oh, yeah There we go. I'm coming for you Schneider. I Want to fight you UFC style or slap style? It's all right. Yeah, I can't stop watching the slap videos. I hate myself Oh my god

I like my who um who's trying to get the NFL to stop to talk about? CTEs he's still alive. No. He got knocked in the head too hard, and he died will Smith from concussion by the fucking ratings of Yeah, the guy who will Smith played yeah,, they, yeah. I would love to bring- They had him do the halftime show at the Super Bowl. He just did very real science facts. What a big helmet the whole time. Yeah.

And then held a very, he tried to do a moment of silence for victims of CTE. But people were too excited. Yeah, and the Jets went over during that time. And the Rockets rode glare. It's funny that boy. How can I connect this? He was played by Will Smith a man who himself slapped. I know I was talking about that Which is something that they don't do in football so never mind But like well the fact that Chris Rock didn't like flinch from that slap like he didn't fall over anything Yeah The fact that Chris Rock didn't like flinch from that slap like he didn't fall over anything Yeah shows that he probably could be pretty good on the slap circuit and for the listeners the slap was the slap those heard around

The world when willsman slapped Chris Rock if you didn't then wasn't there another one where guys slapped a kid and they also called That there was a mini series about a guy slapping a kid on a playground starring Zachary Quinto I feel like beautiful my favorite about the slab was when Judd Apatow freaked out. Or not Judd Apatow. Was it Judd Apatow? And he tweeted like, he could have killed him. Like, that's so dangerous. He could have killed him.

Jerry Seinfeld, who did this? I want to know who did this. Judd Apatow tweeted it. Okay. We're not going to dig up old tweets about... No, come on. But also, I got nothing to lose. I'm not on X. Soft buggy good ass, check it out.

Judd Apatow. He got to bleep that out. But the... Oh yeah, what was... Like it was Houdini got punched in the stomach really hard. He could have killed him. That's true. Yeah. I wish someone was around to tweet about when Houdini died punched in the stomach really hard. He could have killed him. That's true. Yeah.

I wish someone was around to tweet about when Houdini died. Like, see, this is what happens guys. Yeah. What if Will Smith had punched Chris Rock in the stomach? Is it too, is this too soon? It's... Yeah, I think it's too late, quite frankly. I think, yeah.

I was thinking about that though, cause I wanted to watch that NFL docu. I love, I like learning about sports and the history of it, but I'm not actually a sports person. But I have no qualms with sports guys. I'm not one of those like sports suck people. My team is the Devils. I would like to say that. And I'm learning about the Devils right now.

Okay. You know they're named after, they're not named after a Satanic. They're named after like a... It was something like some beef factory. Some, no, it's like a New Jersey like legend. Oh good! Cool. Did you know the Chicago Bulls are called the Bulls because Chicago had a really prominent meat industry when the when the team was being formed. And the Chicago Bears are named after the are called the Bears because they eat bear meat there as well. And the Cubs are like baby bear meat. They eat so many

different types of meat. Charlotte was gonna be called the Spirit which I really liked. The Charlotte Charlotte. The Hornets. They were to be called the spirit, which I really liked. The Charlotte Charlotte hornets. They were going to be like the Charlotte. Yeah. Charlotte. Yeah. I guess the Charlotte spirit. And so their mascot would be the spirit, which it would be like an energy.

Yeah. They wouldn't be able to represent that. They choose a bear. Yeah. Well, they do have like the Orlando magic and the Miami heat are just sort of like, is there, is there a magician? The San Antonio integrity. Oh my God, that would be a thing.

San Antonio, give it up for the conscious one. Just a normal person who has done really good morally in their life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've gotten, you know, no regrets. Never cheated, never did a DUI, never did a... They're like, oh! Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na the swamp dragons, they were floating around new names. I think Toronto was originally gonna be the shuffle demons. Really?

No. Were they a scum? They were a scum. That was good, but you didn't get me. Only because in my head immediately, it was the perfect mascot, which is three little demons who have dance routines. Doing a shuffle.

Give it up for the shuffle demons, everyone go nuts. They had a song called Spadina Bus. Oh, so they're really Toronto bus. Yeah. Having a breakfast out of snake-e-dees. Go to CN Tower and get some CDs out of San James. Then every song is about it. It's as good as any other song at that.

A different store in Toronto. Get a jerk chicken. Honest Ed. And I'm getting, have you ever heard of jerk chicken? Yeah. Eating Indian roti on the top of the CN Tower. Getting roti at Julius at Eaton Center. There you go.

They got the best roti. Going to pizza, pizza in Tundas Square To get the best Bonnie you've ever had And that's why it was a hit! Going to Humber College and taking the stand-up comedy course. You get the best lumpia, which is Filipino, like, um, spring roll kind of thing. It's so good at the Humber College, specifically in the comedy class. This is the part where he talks. And now I'm explaining the joke. It's just the rest of it being, ooh-wee. Yeah. Yeah.

I was listening to the Evil Men podcast of their day. Yeah. Because we were talking about joke ska bands, and they were doing the Giongo Meshie episode, and they were talking a lot about Moxie Froovis, which- What did Giongo Meshie ever do? Oh, God. Well, he did some pretty bad music. That's mostly what they cover in the show. Terrible, terrible band. And awful man, terrible band.

Moxie Frouvis was in the five CD changer of My Youth. Oh, nice. Yeah, I feel like that was one. And High Rotation. I bet you I knew all the songs. My version of that, in terms of like joke bands, was fucking Bloodhound Gang. Oh, yeah. of like joke bands was fucking Bloodhound Gang. And I got into this Bloodhound Gang after You and Me, Baby Ain't, but loved the whole album, then got into the earlier discography

when they were more of a Beastie Boys kind of band. Pretty cool stuff. And are they still on the scene? They still touring? No, they kind of broke up because they were like so raunchy in the early 2000s like their live shows were almost like GG Allen adjacent We're really they would shit on each other and like piss on their fans and like Shitting and vomiting they were maybe Jackass adjacent. Yeah like that time where it's like yeah, we fucking our fingers stink from finger banging fucking fuck you too.

And then everyone's like, yeah, make the millionaires. Yeah, I've had 24 coronas. Boy. Tonight. It's the early 2000s. Coronas are 125. Is. I wonder how many coronas I could drink. Scooby Doo's gang, are they the Bloodhound Gang?

Where did the name come from? Yeah. That's what I was wondering, is it the guys that hang out with Scooby Doo? I don't know the origins of the Bloodhound Gang name. Yeah, I remember when they came out, whatever, your teacher would be like, well, the original Bloodhound Gang. Was Shakespeare. Yeah.

He was actually the first Bloodhound Gang. Yeah. And you know, when they say you and me baby, nothing but mammals, it's sort of like when Shakespeare says, oh, Rose by any other name is shut the fuck up. Ew. Look it up, where's the Bloodhound Gang come from? Okay. says, uh, rose by any other name is shut the fuck up. Look it up. Where's my bloodhound gang come from? Okay.

Hmm. I need to know. I know, but I just worried that this search is going to be like, okay, what do I go to their Wikipedia and find out their name, what their name came from? Hmm. Name from a segment on the 1980s PBS children's show three, two, one contact. Really nervous about tracking that down. Oh, I remember that. I was really nervous. It's a really good name.

About dragging that down, I found it so fast. Damn. Yeah, I remember 321 Contact. Such a good name went to, I mean, you know what? I'm not gonna disparage Bloodhunt. Yeah, what band would have done better with it? They gave you so much joy. It's a good band name, yeah.

And you loved their discography when you were a youth. When you bought the CD, the CD was pink, and then the middle part was a darker shade of pink. And then you flip the CD and stuck your tongue through it to make a full Caucasian woman's breast because your tongue would be the nipple. And with the instructions on it. Really? instructions yeah really yeah wow we did it me and my friends we did it saw the CD you know you guess you wouldn't have phones at the time to take a picture no thank God you just take their word for it yeah boy I hope to see a Caucasian ladies

press one day I think a little something like this and not even Caucasian like pink cartoon pig cartoon kind of ruins the CD though I think it'll look a little something like this. And not even Caucasian like pink, cartoon pink. Cartoon pink. Who kind of ruins the CD though. I think it makes better. You can stick your tongue through it without. Sure, I guess. Don't scratch that CD though.

Yeah, exactly. Even in its case. I guess a lot, not many people would have stubble. The time you grow a bit of stubble, you're like, why would I listen to this music? Well now you're sticking your tongue through like Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska CDs. And his ass.

You're rimming, Bruce Springsteen. Well, if they have his ass from the... Yeah, Mortimer's USA. Oh, right! Oh, I didn't catch that, that's good. It was so cool when you would get a CD that had like actual art on the CD, as opposed to just like saying like, you know, and the booklet has a Deutsche

Grammaphone, Beethoven's first album. Um, Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Okay. I watched a lot of movies over the break. I told you about one of them, the Saturday Night Live movie. Here are the other movies I watched a lot of movies over the break. I told you about one of them the Saturday Night Live movie Here are the other movies I watched okay Ready for this list. Let's break it down one movie at a time. Okay, the first movie I watched on this list is a movie that I like to call got to open up my little app that says what movies I watched

The movie I watched have any of you seen this movie. That is a okay. I don't want my little app that says what movies I watched. The movie I watched, have any of you seen this movie? That is a, okay, I don't wanna talk about that movie. Amadeus, I'll bet you it's Amadeus. I did watch Amadeus a few months ago for the first time. Never seen it. It's always just been a movie I saw at the video store. I was like. Got a kick ass cover.

Cool cover, but I bet you it's boring as hell. It's pretty good. Is it? Yeah, the music's good I think I got Hans Zimmer to do it nice Here's my favorite restaurant in all of Toronto Chevy's fresh mix It okay I watched. Have you guys seen Eyes Wide Shut?

Oh, everyone's, people like Die Hard, is their Christmas movie? Not me. That's right, it is a Christmas movie. I saw it, I'd never seen it before. It's a Kubrick, it's the last Kubrick. Yeah. And I had an idea of what it was,

and it was not what I thought it was gonna be. What did you think it was gonna be? I thought it was gonna be Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise get kind of like caught up in this world of sex parties. Yeah. And they, you know, it pushes their relationship to the test, but in fact, what happens is Tom Cruise goes to one sex party he's not invited to, doesn't have sex, and gets in trouble.

Yeah, and at the time it was it was pre, it was almost pre-internet sexorama. So it was when it came out, it was like shocking. Right. Tits galore. Yeah, people thought like this is Caucasian. You want to see a Caucasian woman's breast? You have two options. And a fox mask. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's, oh, it's, there's so much that goes on in the movie. He is able to rent a cape and a mask in the middle of the night. Yup. From Lili Sobojewski's dad. That's right. And uh. We all go, you know, you get vitamin water, a beef jerky, a cape and a mask.

Yeah, you got a cape, just throw in a cape and a mask. From the SO. We could probably get it from Amazon now and they'll deliver it in the middle of the night. You know, you get vitamin water, a beef jerky, a cape and a mask. You got a cape, just throw in a cape and a mask please. You can probably get it from Amazon now and they'll deliver it in the middle of the night. Oh my god, yeah. One cape, one condom, one beer. What are you? Sean Lee Hooker? One cape, one condom, and one beer.

He played it had Lyrics so fucking nuts Just one guy at the Rogers Arena. There's There's a weird documentary I saw about this kid That was like considered the most beautiful kid in all of Europe and he made a movie and became like an instant star and that's the only movie he made. But two other movies he made, he was in, Midsommar as the old guy gets pushed off the cliff. Whoa.

And as the guy in the red robe who's like in charge of the origin. Oh, so a long time ago, he was a kid. Yeah, yeah, like. He wasn't like. Wow. What a good career, he's like, I had a weird childhood and then I did two fucked up movies.

I thought you were gonna say, yes, he's like the French Yahoo series. You be serious. The most beautiful boy in Europe. So that's a great movie. Check it out. Okay. Yeah, it's a lot of fun.

I loved Saturday Night. Then I watched Rogue One, a Star Wars story. Oh, I haven't seen it. Yeah. I was supposed to. That's really good. I was supposed to see it. That's really good. Thank you. I was supposed to see it.

Oh, Yona. I had tickets to it in 2016, and then one of my children was born that day. But they still honored your ticket. They honored it, yep. All the children. Yep. So that's good.

You FaceTimed. I don't really, I... Was Rogue One part of the C-3POPO in that world or that's a different story? It's like, it's the same story, but it's in between movies. It's not part of any trilogy, it's in between them and it's like, hey, here's how they get the Death Star plans for the first movie. My nephew is obsessed with Star Wars, but he's never seen the movies. He's only read the Star Wars books.

Holy shit. So I get to tell him what the characters sound like, and he's obsessed with C-3PO. How old is he? He is five. Five, six. When you say he's read the books, you mean like... Like there's like a whole series of... But not like the big thick.

No, no, no. Oh, okay. But like there's like all sorts. They get them early. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think... I don't know about that, Luis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I don't know about that Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, so you know, it's going wrong. You try to get the voices, right? Are you trying to mislead them? No, no, I try I try my best

But like I'm my ex-wing is not as good as your Something's going wrong Yeah, yeah, there you go. You got it. Hey, what's up? My name is Darth Vader Luke you gotta come to the dark side look I have a secret. I want to tell you come here Give me your hand literally Jabba the Hutt sound like Jabba's buddy, yeah Everything about Star Wars is all the little guys Yeah

Like my favorite part in one of the newer movies was when a car goes across the desert and one of the puppets goes Like and I was like that was the best part for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they use real puppets. Yeah It's so that they use real puppets instead of your. Like, do you count like Ewoks as little guys? Yeah, they're fun. Yeah. That was supposed to be a planet of Wookiees. Endor was supposed to be a planet of Wookiees. That's right.

The Chewbacca's, but then it was the 80s, so they knew they would sell more toys, so I think the studio pushed them to make an Ewok land. And it was- It could be misinformation, so look that up. It could be misinformation, So look that up. Look that up. Look that up.

Keep it to yourself. There's a video of like the Today Show or something where they have a couple of Ewoks on and the one Ewok starts- Starts doing the moonwalk, trying to drink wine. And then he starts wiggling his ass. He humps the leg of those.

Then she goes like, stop. And then he like wiggles his ass. What era is this from? This is the hose and then she goes like, stop, and then he's like, where is this ass that's from? This is from probably 2012, it looks like. Yeah. Okay, not from 1983. No. It looks like the thing starts twerking at one point.

Yeah. It rules. Yeah, it feels, yeah. Anyway, we'll skip the other ones. It feels like a- No, no, what else you got? T-Pain pre-NPR Tiny Desk. I watched a couple. I'm not going to tell you everyone, but then, so this past Tuesday, I forgot they

have Tuesday cheap, all January they have cheap movies on Tuesday. Oh, okay. Isn't that all the time? No, not anymore. What? They took that away? They took that away from us. A YouTube premium fucking going to movies?

And they also took away, matinees aren't cheap anymore that Sucks, but I did go to two matinees in one day Tuesday Back to back or did you have a little food court in between back to back and I saw a person that we know I'm not gonna say who sneak in oh They went to the same two movies. I saw What were these movies? The first movie I saw. It's a movie where Robbie Williams is a monkey. Yeah?

Oh shit! How was that? It was pretty good. People said it's like it's fun and refreshing and silly. And it's um, you know, forget everything listeners, forget everything you know about Robbie Williams. What was the name of his? Look him up, read two sentences and forget that. Was this group five stars?

It was five star. They were named after the Mead notebooks. I only know that one song. It's a new, no, that's Oasis or something. You know, rock DJ. Cause you're making me feel so nice. That's Robbie Williams. That's him.

Who's the one where he's like spinning around and then he, all his skin falls off? That's the one. That's Rock DJ. He doesn't fall off. He's ripping it off. There's beautiful ladies, beautiful ladies roller skating around him

and ignoring him. And he starts taking his clothes off. They ignore him. Starts taking his skin off. They ignore him. Starts taking his muscles off. They ignore him, starts taking his muscles off. They're like, okay. All right, here we go. Let's get skeleton-y.

He throws his flesh at them and they rub it on themselves. That's in the movie, is that in the movie? There is a version of him. So he's a monkey in the movie. So in the trailer for the movie, it's like, I know what you're thinking. What's with the monkey? I love that.

In the actual movie itself, never acknowledged that he's a monkey. Oh, really? There's his family are all humans, everyone. So he presents as a human, but we all see him as a monkey. I don't think he presents as a human. No one.

He talks? He talks. But nobody is upset that there's a talking monkey. No one. It's never mentioned. There's no monkey about it other than visually. He's a monkey. I like that at one point in his like, he's a young man. He starts off as a young monkey. Then he's like, as a teenager, he's got a perm and he's a monkey with a perm. That's funny. And then, you know, as an adult, he's Robbie Williams as a monkey. Then he like, there's a stage of his life where he bleaches his hair.

And he's a bleached monkey. But only on the head or the whole body? I think the whole body was sort of a dark room. Okay. Okay. And it's very like, if you know five Robbie Williams songs you hear all of them Do I know I know you know rock DJ? Oh the one like you know what you don't Think like shit, I can't remember how is it Millennium no

No, there's like a because that's not an off song is angels I said it in minutes that him. No, I want you to take that. Oh, that's like and he's in that take that He's in take that all right. They only have take that playing rock DJ, which they never played Take that was a get Gary Barlow wrote that and sang lead on that who Gary Barlow Gary Barlow is the guy from take that the Oh, they wrote all this on yeah So there's that and then there's so he's dating one of the members of all Saints. Oh Saints and know where it's at. Is that all say I know where it's that and Never ever. Yes

Whoo, I'm going now. This is good stuff. And so they have like, there's this like thing where they have the two of them meet after he's gone solo and they have like this dance together and they fall in love. Like the whole, that segment of the movie is like five minutes and it tells the whole story of their relationship

and she's like visually they do it so well. It's like she's- Is this a movie that came out in the UK and they just also put it out here Yeah, and they're like you everyone knows a Robbie Williams and then it was like, yeah kind of it really bombed No, no one here is like kind of no one is no. I know although I Barely, I know I only know for that one music video in the 90s. Yeah. Yeah and then they do a Well, like because it wasap Tuesday at the movie theaters, I didn't know it was Cheap Tuesday.

I wasn't expecting, the theater was like half full. Yes. Oh, really? They're busy on those nights. Yeah, but I was like, I was expecting to be the only one in the theater. Yeah, it really, really tanked. But I think it did well in Britain, because he's like famous guy in Britain,

everybody loves him over there. So yeah, it's him.'s him so there's should have just put it on DVD here. Yeah the reason I saw it in the theater I was like because it's got a monkey nipple on the CD. Put some hair on your tongue. The reason I saw the CD that has fake nipple hair on it it breaks every CD player you put it in. It's a CD that has fake nipple hair on it. It breaks every CD player you put it in. I saw it in the theater because I was like, if this is on TV, I'm gonna be looking at my phone the whole time.

I'll be not paying attention, but I really wanna give this my attention. I mean, I think that's a good movie watching strategy too, is like choose movies that you will enjoy, but will only see if you are forced to sit down in the dark and watch it. Yeah. Yeah.

Now I can't speak for everyone in the theater. A lot of people were looking at their phones. That's bad. But yeah, that and then there's the my favorite part is there's he's like so shy to share his music with people As a solo artist he's not you know, because he's probably because he's a monkey and they won't understand his music He's like I got some lyrics. I'm like, ooh Bear necessities it's not for me, but it's something I wrote. I'm not gonna record it.

I have a lot of songs about walking through the jungle and just singing about friendship. Is that so bad? Yeah. That's dope. I really, oh boy, this shit is bananas. Yeah. It was right there in front of me.

But yeah, and he like meets Oasis and they're rude to him, obviously. Oh, and the Oasis guys look. That was the biggest laugh in the thing, is like Liam Gallagher is, you know, he's got big sunglasses on and a big mop top and he's playing pool. He's like, me brother's over there.

And it goes to Noel and he's in the corner of the bar where they're playing pool and he's playing Wonderwall on a guitar. This is a visual cue. These- this is- they don't say themselves by name, but- Was it the real brothers in the movie? No. It was actors. That would've been sweet.

Yeah. I like that it was actors more actually. It would have been good if they- if any musician in the movie was a different animal. Yeah, that's what I was thinking like- Yeah. Like what? Or panther people who would Oasis be in the animal kingdom. It's like like a one of them would be like a sloth I was thinking sloth. Yeah, something like really they got the same posture as a sloth sloths have like a niceness to them

You have to find what's like a slow chill animal. That's really mean Apparently a very mean it would probably be a koala yeah although wouldn't you say that for an Australian man no you save it for like in excess of you so yeah you get in excess you get midnight oil you get what would be oh you know what like Then you run out of Australian animals. Yeah. Is there a... Pretty quick, yeah.

That's true. Or yeah, you have to find out what all their ones are. Silver chair are all wombats? And silver chairs, I'm not making it up. They're on the same festival at some point. Oh my God, silver chair. I don't know, maybe like, is there a horse that's kind of like a bully? Is there a type of horse that's kind of really I just like a wild mare something like that

I feel like that would kind of be the the Gallagher brothers. Mmm, the bangs and but then oh sure or those Highland cows with their long. Yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, come on big giant badger the Gallagher's could be badgers. I could see them as bad. It's a very British Like I'm going to get the fucking honey I don't care if they stimmy. Oh Because you know those videos are honey badgers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they'd be like. Oh, yeah, I sting away I don't give a shit. I just want to fucking That's not how the Gallagher's talk, but

Get the honey you sting away you little bloke you fuck your mother That's exactly what they say on your mother. There you go, that's exactly what they say. On your mother, get the honey. And then after that movie, I went to see Conclave. Ooh. Guess what? I loved Conclave. I watched it and I was like, I know who's gonna love this movie, Conclave.

That was a prequel to Gladiator about the guy who made all the cups, right? For the dinners of the Gladiator? Yep. Yep. I have to make these cups for Denzel. Don't trust Denzel. Yeah, don't. Give this cup to Denzel's guy character,

but don't trust him. Did you, you saw Conclave? I did, yeah. In theater? Yeah, in the theaters. I went with a past guest, Charlie DeMare. Oh, did he love Conclave? He did, yeah.

I thought it was too quiet to be in the movie theater for. Oh my God, it was so, you can hear, what's his face? Rafe finds nose like. Yeah, and there's a scene where the only thing you can hear is an overhead for Loraira's light, and that's the only sound in the scene. And I was like, we can't even get a piece of dumb. The Pope dies.

And all the cardinals, you know, Mark McGuire, Dossie Smith, they have to choose the new Pope. Nice. It's like the expendables for Pope. Yeah. Yeah. They bring it all the big. And there's a lot of scheming and cool. Everyone's so good at it.

And Rebel Wilson. Yep. That is a really cool cast. Yeah. There's a really, yeah. And it's Mark Zuckerberg, Danny Trejo and Rebel Wilson. That is a really cool cast. Mark Zuckerberg, Danny Trejo, and Rebel Wilson. They have them on the speaking circuit promoting the movie, those three together. How was it working with each other?

Oh, it was fucking great, man. It was okay. Yeah, it was one of the most, I think, the quietest film. Those are so, I love those types of Hollywood movies. If you think that's the quietest film, you gotta check out The Truffle Hunters. It's an Italian documentary about these truffle hunters. And they don't talk at all or?

No, I mean, they do talk, but there's a lot of stillness. They're all old men. Okay, so see, but I like, I wanted to watch it at home because in the theater I was like, I want a piece of gum, but there's no scene to you know, that's like when I went to go see early Max Fleischer cartoons at the at the smart persons movie theater in our city, the Pacific Cinematheque. Yeah. And 10am, I went to go see Max Fleischer, like the guy who did Popeye and Betty Boop, originals on film.

And I was like, this is gonna be so sick. I'm like, it sucks that I have to smoke weed at 10 a.m. but it's gonna be awesome. Went to Brekka, it was so stressful. Went late with my girlfriend, went to Brekka, smoked a ton of weed, we did it, sat down. It's all kids. I'm sitting down beside like a dad

who's like two years older than me with his daughter. He's like holding her. I obviously reek of weed. I have like I'm trying to pull out a sandwich slowly. Like I was like, I wish I would have known that this was for kids. But then I was like, the pieces started to come together. It was 10 a.m. Yeah. I'm like, this is all me. Now, this is on me yes yeah they didn't care

yeah and the kids are high as kites oh yeah there's a kid outside doing a huge water bomb toddler as big as him he's like I can't wait to see many boob I wanna fuck her on top of each other just in that kindergartener? He's like, I wanna fuck Betty Boop. Grayson, don't say you wanna fuck Betty Boop. You don't know what it means, Grayson. You don't know. Stop saying you want Betty Boop to hug Tua on that thing. You don't know what that means, Grayson. Put down the bong. You're spilling the bong water, Jason, it's as tall as you. Jason, sorry.

We have pot in the car, we're not gonna buy any pot in the theater. Honey, get your edibles, smoke is bad for your lungs, baby. Who wants an edible? No honey, they cut out all the racist cartoons, not all of them, but most of them. You can tell some of them they really wanted to but you don't quite get there like a spider will come in You're like they wanted that spider looks a bit race. Yeah, they're any racist Popeye No, no, they took out all the minstrel stuff, right? It's cool for kids. I think yeah, I don't think that that's like Hiding history did the kids like these things like this which is really cool. Does Betty Boop hold up?

Totally holds up from our childhood. We used to watch Betty Boop Yeah, the same woman who like he voiced sorry she voiced her in the like when would these have been 40s? Yeah, she was in who famed Roger Rabbit. She voiced Betty Boop in that as well I think it is a stolen from a black Vaudeville actor. Oh it is. Yes. Betty Boop is a stolen from a black vaudeville actor. Oh, it is? Yes. Really?

She was a concept by a black artist and was stolen by all these guys, all these white guy cartoon execs. And they wrote this character and made her white and huge head. Huge head. One of the biggest in the biz. That's why the European standard for beauty is a tiny body, huge head. Unattainable. That's why they like, it happens.

Neck snaps. Throughout history is like, you know, white people appropriate black culture. And then you end up with big headed, Funko pop, Funko pop like. Bratz dolls. Bratz dolls, white artists like artists like you know Elvis was the original Friends were the first funny people True true. Chandler was the first comedian Friends when I watch friends, I was like this is really appropriate black culture But the concept was taken from... It was taken from Martin.

From... But it was that idea of like five people in their mid-20s in New York. There was a show that came out like two years before. This guy thinks there's only five friends. Then the thing got cancelled and then friends came out. I think they ripped it. But yeah, like everything. like rock and roll. Yeah Anyway, but you don't get the Queens of the stone age without

You'll get the Foo Fighters without a little bit of stealing from Chuck It's it's black culture that it's Boop, and all of a sudden. And it's Big Bang Theory theme song. It all started with a bang, bang. Graham? Yeah. What's going on with you? Oh, speaking of going and watching things, and also speaking of music of your youth, I went and saw

on their final tour, Sum 41. Whoa! That's huge. I just listened to Fat Lip and the other song. Anyway, sorry. 41 whoa Yeah, that's huge. I just was just listening to a fat lip and The other song anyway, sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, in what into deep. Yeah, they two days ago Yeah, that's I was listening to their third song four days ago So nice I listen to their debut like in a month What was their debut was the one that was?

Listen to their debut. What could a month? What was their debut was the one that was? That and in a minute. Yeah, and in a minute man in a minute from hell And they had DMX on the motorcycle the earth quads Does a big music video for me? Yeah, and they I love them growing up. Yeah, and growing up you were 20 I'm still growing up. Come on Brains don't crystallize or whatever. It's called till you're 25. There you go. Exactly. Thank you they don't get that a space Meg mom What they don't tell you a crystallize it gives crystal eyes

crystallize crystal live whoa How was it? It was great. It was amazing. They are so good. I think they're only retiring because the lead guy wants to do something different. Cool. But I bought a single ticket. I went by myself. Was it all for original and the guy from Gob?

No, it's three original guys, Cone, Derek, and Brown Sound. And then the drummer, I can't remember his name. Then there's another guitarist. The guitarist is, I think, the guy from Gob. From Gob, okay. So I bought a single ticket. What venue? Rogers. Whoa.

Yeah. It was going to a concert by itself. Great. It's fun. Yeah. You don't have to worry about anybody else's timetable, or when you want to leave. I want to leave right now, I can leave. Yeah. I don't even want to go. Yeah. I'll just stay home. I want to get into a verbal fight with the security guard. I can I can I'm not gonna be embarrassed

Anybody miss my favorite song cuz I don't want to lose. Yeah What was the song that like got everyone? Yeah? Yeah, and they The Where they're doing a beatboxing song to the guy in the Yeah, yeah They started playing that and they were like the audience didn't go nuts fast enough I was like, but this is the big song and this is the prelude to the big you know And then when they started playing song everybody went mad, but I was like you should know

I always feel smarter than everyone ever like when you know guys don't know the two drum hits yeah for the riff and anyways it blew the lid off the place amazing and then I also realized I knew more some 41 songs than I think that I had yeah into deep really good to into deeps great better off on my own is great good like hair metal slash thin Lizzie guitar thing. They do have the guitar monies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They have, you know, they have their roots in heavy metal.

Yeah. Maybe the priests are the gods that they praise. Yes. The, and the guy, the lead singer, he knows when it was slow, like he was like, play a slow song. He's like, okay, no more slow songs. We're gonna play a fast song. I'm gonna play an old song So he knew you had to work that crowd. Oh, they them like a so much. Yeah See Limp Bizkit alone. Yeah. Yeah

No, I was gonna go supposed to go see them in Auburn, Washington in August But I didn't have enough money to get over there and this past August. Yes. And then the band I was drumming in was playing Energy Slime. Jay and Jessica, you had them on the podcast. And are you really going to see them? I want to. I love Limp Bizkit. Where are they playing that you might be? Well, they're kind of bad because there's a bit of a Limp Bizkit resurgence because some of the Gen Z like new metal because if it's kind of fuck you attitude and kind of like pants big well yeah because it's like a deny it's like

and that makes sense because hip-hop it was like going off of hip-hop and and hey they you know they they represent uh Jacksonville Florida John Otto who was a who was a in a jazz program for drumming uh but then you know all this you just you were like a really big fan. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Is that their drummer? John Otto?

Yeah. John Otto is the drummer. Okay. John Otto, take him to the Matthews Bridge. And West Portland had those weird. Those eye contact lenses. Cause West Portland's like, he's like an art school nerd. Like, like.

That was always a cool thing about Limp Bizkit. Yeah. What's with it? What's the weird guitar player doing? And then the lead guy is essentially a businessman who like knows how to like stir up trouble and is not actually like he like rapping he he's kind of funny

because his stuff is so like and I'm gonna get ya isn't that a thing and you know the thing when you want to make me sing like on it on is on their 2021 album Still sucks, which is really good They make references that I then look up and I go. Okay, that's a Call of Duty reference. So that's an Xbox live He's like got these campers all around me which is a because he's talking about a

Cuz he's talking about a Campers are people in Call of Duty And I've never played the game who kind of just find a little split Place to hide and sniper and then so you'll be walking along you just get shot at nowhere because these people don't do anything So it's like kind of a diss if you're if you're a camper you're kind of a coward Yeah, you're not playing to win your place. Oh, I think camp is in the war zone all around me I feel like there was a there's a Venn diagram between like real nerdy people and then shitheads that yes get falls Yeah, and I think the common denominator is like smoking weed and jacking off in your room alone and like watching Maybe I love lip. Yeah, we all do

I don't need to go eat to go alone my roof. We're all alone, yeah. So there was a guy in front of me at the concert who had too much to drink and was like kind of weevil wobbling. And at different times he sat down during the concert and he looked on his phone. It was just pictures of his baby. He was just scrolling through pictures and videos of his baby. And then during the hits he knew he stood up and was dancing. During the slow songs they should just put up pictures of people's babies. Yeah, that'd be great. Yeah, I know this song is kind of boring. So here enjoy. Adam who's cleaning up the nachos on the ground. This is Adam's son.

Yeah, so it was like and then everybody left after the first or were leaving after the first encore. But then they came out and did one more song. That guy in front of me was the only guy who like stuck around. So it was me and him in like this empty row and- They played all the hits at that point? Yeah. He was doing like, I can't remember what the song was.

It was something goodbye. Capital direct, Jotsie. Good night everybody. Do you know where they got their name? Summer of something. They were formed on the 41st day of summer. Yes!

What's up with, because you got 200 days of summer. Is everyone counting the summer days? Because I never count them. You can hear this bit on his album. I'm word-shopping this super boring idea I have. You guys remember Sum 41? You guys remember 500 days of summer? You remember the 200, but Zoe Deschanel and-

500 days of summer. 500 days of summer. How many actual days of summer are there? I guess 365 divided by four. Too high for me to count. Too high. Oh, I'm trying to get better at math. I had a math app for a while.

Nice. So this dude and I, he like, they play the song, they finish the song, and like, he's totally, he's totally a bro. Yeah. He's super bro. All his friends were bros. Nice. And he just looked at me and said like, end of an era.

Gave me a fist bump. Nice. It was great. Wow. And I was like, it really is. And then you saw him on the bridge later with a gun. Too sad. Yeah, end of an era. What, I was like it really is and then you saw saw him on the the bridge later with a gun He's not committing to a bridge and is he gonna jump he's actually gonna shoot himself And then he'll fall off the bridge. It's a double death

He's gonna fall into the bike lane. He's gonna light himself on fire, shoot himself in the head. Fall off the bridge. And the guy with the megaphone, you have so much to live for. And he's like, it's- And Sum 41's done. I've actually already overdosed as well. Yeah, I got it all figured out.

And now I'm, yeah. But anyways, Sum 41 rocks, they're on their last tour ever I'm sure they'll get back together yeah sometime later but I think they're playing at the Juneau you're gonna do this and I think that's the end of it all and then one more at the Stampede yeah yeah and then the Carp Garlic Festival yeah and then and then a fucking lobsterfest. Yeah, real fast. Fucking Lobsterfest, yeah. And Kate Breton. March Madness.

Yeah. Then the Bonhomes' 100 year birthday. Sure, that means Jubilee. And of course I have to play in the Arctic Circle with Hole and Moist and Metallica. And we gotta heal Canada-India relations with that concert, the benefit concert, so we'll be doing that. Yeah, sure. And then they'll be done.

And then, well, they gotta do EdgeFest. Oh yeah, EdgeFest. And then it's Netflix holiday party. We probably should do that one. It's funny that there used to be- Spike TV's annual awards. Spike TV's back. Yeah, Spike TV.

Funny that there used to be a touring festival called EdgeFest. Because- Because now people- Edge. That everybody's edging. Yeah. Maybe that's what the festival was. Maybe it was before the big song they want to play.

They were leading up with increasingly better songs. Now there's also Skank Fest. Yeah. Fucking Skank Fest. That is a real thing. Yeah. Yeah. Skolf Festival? It's like a comedy fest in Las Vegas that's's like hardcore comedy. Yeah, big J. Okerson

Oh, if you like jokes about people over dosing on fentanyl cuz they're stupid you gotta love fucking flippity floppity smackity skankity fest there's somebody who said they were at it and that Artie Chafir, I don't want to You know, do we get in trouble if we say people's names and bad stuff they did? Well, basically what he did was he took a shit on stage. He took a shit on stage, yeah. You heard that as well?

No, no, no. No, I heard it from a gentleman who was at the festival. Sure. With his own eyes. He was like, I gotta get out of here. I don't need that. I take the city bus and when I got on the other day, someone, there was shit somewhere in on the bus. I couldn't tell but that was free not really bad like shit

It wasn't free. It was 375 or whatever I was it or had you sneak on I did did I tap I used a paper that could have been expired because I am a proud fare evader trans yeah, yeah, I Know that you're on the r5 expresses cuz you get the students. I'm not on those buses motherfucker Yeah, I'll be a line. Oh, yeah, and also I think if the Transit cops give you a ticket I think you just walk away and see what they do and then if they tell you stuff you just keep going like Do I have to stay and if they go no you just keep walking? Yeah, soon You'll be in a park. Yeah, get a hot dog. I'm gonna follow you. If they come up to you, they're like, I don't know that I have a hot dog

What I have got a Description of the hot dog list guy who was on the bus doesn't sound like me at all. Also that bus had shit on it Well, it's my responsibility Okay, you give me your ticket and you wipe my ass. Okay, well, he's got us dead to rights. Oh my God, this guy. Give us your ticket. Here we go.

But taking a shit on stage isn't pretty bad. Pretty bad. I mean, it is that Gigi Allen stuff, but comedies, the new rock stars. It's truly not, I don't think. Well, we've all taken a shit on stage. Well, I did early on. I tried, but it come you know comedies the new rock stars you know it's truly not I don't think well we've all taken a shit on stage well I did early on I tried but it was diarrhea it was just diarrhea drippings and then I was like I had to stop uh yeah the only thing was it our our shafir shits on stage on kill tony skankfest oh kill tony I don't know what that is it's a

uh internet show where people, there's a panel of people, including a guy named Tony Hinchcliffe, who's the guy who did the roast at Trump's rally. Yeah. And he and other comedians, your Joe Rogan's and whatnot, they bring out a comedian who does one minute of comedy

and then they just roast. It's like an, yeah, it's like an open mic slash roast. So, so yeah. But people who have been on it have gone crazy viral. Yeah. They got huge overnight. Yeah, it can be a legitimate path for like, but then yeah, then also it'll create superstars out of just open micers essentially.

Yeah. So then what's fascinating is you'll have someone, and for any listeners, an open micer is someone trying to get good at comedy, but also it can be a gremlin man, usually, who has gremlin ideas and won't stop trying to get his spells to work yeah right gremlins new song go ahead gremlin man the gremlins are here so then but then you'll see posters around town with some of these gremlins and they'll be like sold out show at the fucking huge venue dog shit comedy show come come honestly there is probably there's for sure a comedy show called dog shit comedy yeah dog shit actually that's

cool I like that's a punk yeah dog shit come puke hey come to my people are like what is this it is an open mic for people who are usually kept out of this space. It's called Dogshit Puke Cum. What's the name of your album again? I forget. Soft Buggy, or Jazz. Same amount of vowels, different stuff. Different stuff.

Well, do you guys wanna move on to some over-heard? Sure. The Flophouse is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Guys, how does ET poop? Uh, well, he's not that regular, but as he's gotten older. He has two cloacus, one under each arm. Uh-huh.

No, I'm just looking forward to you going through the other ways in which Wild Wild West is historically inaccurate. You know how much movies cost nowadays when you add in your popcorn and your bagel bites and your cheese fritters? You can't go wrong with a Henry Cavill mustache. Here at Henry Cavill Mustaches, the only supplier. The Flophouse. New episodes every Saturday.

Find it at MaximumFun.org. Ego some John Hodgman. At Ego some Janet Varney. And we're the hosts of E Pluribus Motto, a podcast dedicated to exploring the mottos of every state in the Union. Every episode we will spotlight one state and discuss its official symbols, the motto, flowers, birds, beverages, songs, and even official state muffins. Plus we'll hear from guests whose lives have been inspired by the state's iconography

and from residents, who call that state home. Bring some snacks, a map, and your travel journal because this podcast is a virtual journey like no other. Al di nostrum e pluribus motto quaili pitalia luni di maximum fun. And for the Latin challenged among you and us, listen to e pluribus motto every other Monday on Maximum Fun. Overheard. Overheard is a segment where, boy oh boy, if you've heard something out there and it's good and you cherish it and you bring it forth to us, we're very appreciative.

We always like to start with the guest, Aaron, do you have an overheard? Oh, I do. Okay. Okay. Overheard was on the bus. It was a guy and with the guy like, I gotta take a shit. I gotta take a shit and my name's like I gotta take a shit. I gotta take a shit in my names I gotta get the skin fest. I got a big toilet. It's flat and people watch I'm interested

Though I was on the bus of this guy was with the woman I think they were maybe either friends or on a date or something They were in a some sort of thing where she was tagging along with him doing some stuff Hmm, and he was kind of really loudly, which is fine, I don't really care. But it's funny when someone is really loud and then you get to watch other people be annoyed by like they're talking with someone they started like doing their eye and then- Yeah, over their shoulder. Anyway, he's talking really loud and a lot of it was about how he's an entrepreneur and

how he's really good at talking and business and he works at Best Buy because he could sell a lot of stuff off the floor but he doesn't really want to work a lot because he's doing his own thing. Sure. And then, but he had a piece of business advice that I thought was really good so I wanted to share with your listeners and his business advice was never stutter. The moment you stutter in any business call, any business interaction, that's the moment that they they stop trusting you if you were always talking you never Stutter you never second guess. Would you say like? And I was like you know what it's the stupidest dumbest advice, but it probably works so much

Yeah, and it's probably like and I took it because the guys like did I stutter and they were like twice twice during I've been trying to do it on the bus like I won't pay for the bus He's like you got to pay your friend I go do but I didn't and then he goes you have to pay friend I go did I stutter and he's like yeah, you know say anything You mostly stuttered yeah when I'm listening to George Thorogood, and he's like bad to the bone I'm like I'm scared, but when he goes a bubble bubble bad. I'm like I don't believe Guy Dave do you know no no no I'm scared. But when he goes, buh-buh-buh-buh-bah, I'm like, I don't believe you anymore. He's not a scary guy. Dave, do you have an overhurt?

No. Oh no! God. But you know what it reminded me of while you look, if you need to look, was... No, I mean, I'm fine. No, talk. The YouTube is trying to... I don't know if you're getting these YouTube ads, but I'm getting these YouTube ads where the CIA, people who work for the CIA are trying to sell me a master class on communication. Yeah, you get it. Where they're like, I work for the CIA, I met Osama Bin Laden, and then they'll go,

you need to learn these skills to talk to people. And I'm always, because I listen to YouTube when I draw, so then I'm always just like, do I need to learn how to communicate with my dad and mom and and a hostage situation? And my friends via the sea, someone who's had to communicate with like people who have ulterior, like I don't get. You can give it a try. I've talked to Osama Bin Laden, great guy.

Yeah, I come back as guest after this masterclass next. I'm like, so Graham, where'd you grow up? Not funny anymore? Dave, that's very interesting. We're at your place. Eh, so how many exits do you have? Wow, also some of the lunch hilarious is fuck you guys read his journal. Yeah. Yeah, yeah The original skank and his children are cool The yeah, I do get advertised masterclass things a lot. That rings a bell, maybe there's been a CIA one. But mostly I get, got this woman who's like a stylist,

and she's like, how to get the most out of your closet. Oh, get out of that closet. I don't know that I need a masterclass for that. You Dave, over here. Yeah, okay. Mine is an overseen and it is not great. It is a license plate. Now we love license plates, don't we?

We do, absolutely, we love license plates. The limitations are, they give you the most creative edge. Yeah, yeah, cause you gotta work within. Numbers and. Yes. It's a calculator. I'm gonna write it down, so maybe you can try to decode it. Oh, okay.

So that's fun. I was just thinking of the, you know how you write boobies on a calculator? Do you think you can write scooter? You can probably write scooter pretty easily. I guess the T would be. Plus sign. But the plus sign doesn't show up on a calculator. And the plus sign has a top to it.

Oh, but it could be lowercase. Lowercase. Scooter with a lowercase t. That sounds like a tag now. You're making a tag to scrawl on a bathroom. So this was the license plate. XKV8D. Space DK.

Yeah. Excavate. Excavate I got. DK. The Demilitarized Cone. I thought it was Dick. Yeah, I thought it might be Excavate Dick. Or Donkey Kong. Yeah, Excavate Donkey Kong.

Get him off that island. He's got too much property. Ditty Kong, the wizard. I'm trying to figure out. It's DK, right? Yeah. Excavate. Like, oh, Excavate DK.

Is that a dentist? Oh, or Excavate. Is it like a Yeah, or like the half-life of? Decay of something like like the decay decay decay. Yeah, he's a dentist. Yeah But also is there a way of like the your is he a you know paleontologist because other things decay. Okay, okay Yeah, I knew it was excavate. but yeah, I think we got somewhere. Yeah, okay.

What does an excavator do? An excavator's like a digging. Yeah, they dig things out. Like in... I wonder if in excavation world, like a decaying tree or... Oh yeah, like we've got a decay we gotta remove. You have to... Like if you have a rotten garden that's just going...

Yeah, you gotta... Trying to get to the core with its roots Evil garden absolutely fucking stevie king book evil garden. Yeah, it's gotta be shit the garden that was fucking evil Yeah, I got no evil. Oh the only thing that grew out of this garden skulls Goals are necessarily yeah, oh the tomatoes where they taste like piss and blood. Oh shit shit You know steamy man put down the cocaine No, you're hanging out with bad guys all the Baldwin family you guys remember steven king did cocaine in the Baldwin attic for

For two years. Well, I know he did cocaine for two years. Well, I know he did cocaine. Was it a ball pool? No, no, no, no, it wasn't. It wasn't. That's where misery came from. He was trapped by the public. Apparently, Pet Sematary, I think, as well, was on the cocaine.

On the cocaine one. Yeah, because he used to do cocaine and listen to ACDC and just crank out America's nighttime terrors. That's the fucking best. It is cool. Yeah. I watched a few months ago, no, maybe a year or two ago now misery Oh, I can never get watch that one cuz I don't like the ankle part. You don't it makes me

Yeah, I have a thing with like Achilles heels and ankle. Oh, I'm bad eyes. I can't do I love it I love I love a bitten off tongue You cut off a nose. I don't give a shit. And I watch The Shining pretty much every year. I just saw it recently. And people talk about how those are the two big ones that are like about a writer. Right. And then I was watching Stand By Me a couple months ago.

Yeah, that was. And I realized, oh, that's about a writer as well. Yeah, Richard Dreyfuss. Yeah. Richard Dreyfuss. And even as a kid, like that story, like they're around the campfire and they're like, you're a great writer, tell us a story. a story yeah by me was our Spice Girls that's true yeah I had the best voice oh I think this might have been an awkward

conversation about their voices oh you've got a good voice yeah we were talking about the Spice Girls was off mic yeah okay and we talked to you with the Spice Girls we like we talk about that Mel C song with- I do like- Right, Adam. Didn't you guys get together with your guy friends as a kid and do all the routines from standby? Yeah, yeah, we would go on the train,

we'd let a train almost hit us. Yeah, we would say, yeah, don't shut up, I grow up. One kid would get on the typewriter and talk about his friend who got stabbed at a fast food restaurant. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, spoiler.

Oh, sorry. It's such a necessary ending. And then, and yeah, they all kind of do their own thing, right? One guy gets stabbed and dies. It was funny, like I watched it, I saw it, I think in the theater. And then I hadn't seen it since and I watched it a couple months ago. And he was talking about River Phoenix and like River Phoenix's characters, like, he came from a bad family,

and we just knew he'd be bad as well. Yeah. That's such a messed up thing to be like, this child is going to be bad. Yeah. His family is bad. He's bad to the bone. He's ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bad.

But actually, in the end, he was really good, but he died in a bad way. Yeah, which we always knew it was gonna happen. Stabbed at a burger restaurant. Everyone's number one nightmare. Getting stabbed at a McDonald's. It is mine. I don't want to die at a McDonald's. Me neither. Can you imagine the last few things you hear before you die is beep, give me the fries, number 72, I've been waiting for fucking hours. Like that's what you hear. As it's fading away. As you're going into the cosmos, chicken nugget number 82!

Number 82! He died as he lived in fear at a McDonald's. Yeah, on the ground at a McDonald's. With his hand on one of the big computers. Yeah. Yeah. Or the Super Nintendo one that they did. What's hot at McDonald's these days?

I see they have a big hockey promotion. They're trying to do the, and I haven't been going to McDonald's much lately, which is really nice for me and my body. But you know what? I bet you have mixed feelings about it. Well, the staff is missing me. My phone is blowing up every morning. Where you at Aaron? Aaron, come in for a BLT. You up? Come on! Yeah, Aaron, you still smoke cigs in our parking lot and...

Get in here! Do you want to fill up on a McMuffin before you watch a Betty Boop? Yeah you perv. You want to ask for straws from us because we keep them behind now because of society we don't trust in each other anymore for straws but uh wait what with the McDonald's? Oh they're doing this thing called the big arch. Oh what's that? I don't know they're doing this thing called the Big Arch. Oh, what's that? I don't know. They're always trying to make some burger patty. That's a bit bigger and then say it's something else Yeah, right. They're trying to they basically like a quarter pounder. It's maybe a bit slimmer

I think they're trying to they always try to do like what do we have on hand? What can we reconstitute? What if we take two summers ago? They did the okay little yadi was promoting the remix where basically you just kind of like Frankenstein the fuck out of their menu you go like can I get a fish fillet and fuck it I'm oh I hate myself let's put on a fish fillet with a big Mac sauce and two nuggets and then give me that and then I'll go get in a fight later. They just give me two buns, a bun, a bun, a bun, a bun. And give me a bag of the sauce and two buns. I saw in America, they were, they had the chicken Big Mac, which is two chicken,

two chicken patties. But I never saw that. I had the, I, oh, it was here. I had that during the pandemic. It came. Oh, is that long ago? Big Mac. Nice. It was, It was pretty fine.

Yeah, yeah, I buy it. It's the Chicken Big Mac. We shorten it to the CBM because after you're done you're gonna CBM. Graham, do you have another word? I do. Mine is courtesy of the Sum 41 concert. Okay. Derek's telling a story about the guitar that he's playing which was the guitar that he played in the Fat Lip video, it was like his first guitar. Somebody stole it years and years ago, and he managed to, by going down a wormhole on the internet, he was able to get it back. And he said, and the guy who stole that, he's like, fuck this guy. And everybody's saying like, fuck this guy. And then the guy behind me goes fucking Maple Leafs he's like everybody hurt you just heard people saying fuck

he's like yeah fucking Maple Leafs. You think we're mad about hockey? Yeah. Fucking Maple Leafs. He's in the right arena. He's in the right arena sure. He's just getting I like that he's at the 741 concert but he's getting dog down by hockey thongs. You can't enjoy. He might have bought the wrong ticket. Oh, that would be nice. Yeah, that's true. So I'm 40 more. They gotta let you win. When's this opening band gonna quit, you know? Yeah.

This is the longest national anthem I've ever heard. When is the opening band gonna stop? We go into the seats, and they get the stage off the ice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They put the ice back on, and they get the stage off the ice yeah yeah yeah ice back on and they get the players in it what does that yeah why is there not a hockey version of the Harlem Globetrotters why is everyone here look like they just got out of a hot topic and not a fucking lids hockey yeah hockey I gotta tell you I don't think it exists, but there are plenty of

Oh like a fun hockey team. There's a penny of guys on Instagram doing tricks. Yeah, there's trick baseball teams Yeah, yeah, that's a van a bananas. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's I gotta check out these tricks Just NHL tricks and hockey tricks speaking of hockey just really quickly. I am a devil's man now If you see any hats out there and in the Vancouver area and used and cheap, let me know I'm looking I'm on the hunt for doubles. Did you see that a few years ago? They did a like every team does like a You know alternate Jersey. Yes, and they had one that just said Jersey on it right New Jersey and everyone was making fun of them yeah your Jersey says Jersey on it and then I think they've leaned into that maybe the hat yeah I

fun I think it's fun I think that the logo for the New Jersey Devils is so good to even stray from it for one moment yeah it could because fun I think that the logo for the New Jersey Devils is so good that it's a bit disrespectful to even stray from it for one moment. Yeah. It could because it's an N and it's a Y for New York and the Y has a devil's tail. Oh sorry for NY. It's a J. The N has a J but the J also the devil horns are a Y for the jersey mm-hmm you ever think about that? I'm thinking about it now. The J is a Y as well. The J has horns I guess that make it kind of a Y but it also has a tail. It has a tail. And the tail is the Y but it's also the J. Okay well I've told that to my studio mate Aaron Selser and he is quite receptive to that fact. Yeah, or not fact but observation from me. Yeah, do you think he tunes you out sometimes?

I think he doesn't tune me out, but I do think he's not listening. Do you think you would ever like to design as a visual artist ever design a hockey for sure? Would love to. Logo? Yes, I actually was thinking the other day my girlfriend bought me a very nice Christmas gift of airbrush, little brush, gun things so I can make airbrush stuff. And there's quite a career of people airbrushing hockey helmets. So I'm gonna reach out to the New Jersey Devil's Goalie and I'm gonna see what if we can get some stuff cooking. I'd love to draw some devils or whatever he's into. Vin Diesel, Scarface. He used to play here, Jacob Markstrom. Oh, Markstrom's in the net. Markstrom's in the net over there.

And then two of the Hughes brothers who aren't the cousins of the Hughes. Oh, they're great. There's, I wish. That'd be so cool. It would be cool. Yeah. They haven't had kissing cousin. Oh, yeah.

That would be awesome. Uh, you get a whole team that's all coupled up. So like whenever they score, they like make out on the, yeah. And there's a big support system. And you know, when they do line changes, they sync it so that, what that each that switches out as the couples they kiss each other before they kiss each other down the line instead of handshake oh no yeah the handshakes because they can't couldn't concessional ly ask all the other hockey players but they do the handshake yeah and then they do their own kissing and do a smooch

yeah there hasn't been an openly gay NHL player yet, but it's not we're not far from a fully definitely closeted right well probably for sure yeah But a full league at least a full team of couples. Yeah, that would be so cool It would be a little bit and also and also their cousin. Oh, you know yeah, and they're all Einstein's I'd love to be I'd love to go in for it in time when the NHL is all Different polycules from different cities in America and Canada. Yeah, like all of Thank you. Imagine all Vancouver living in one tall house Yeah, just be like are you and I can totally

Whole team like you're not my primary, you're my like 42nd. Tertiary. Yeah, you're my second draft pick. Oh, you know what? That's how they organize it. If you're my first draft pick, you're my number one. I go to sleep with you at night. Yeah, oh, you didn't do the dishes today.

You're going down to the farm, dude. Yeah, yeah, you're going down to spring training. I don't know any hockey stuff. That's true. I'm still learning about my devils. All right, now we also have Overheard sent in by people all over the world if you want to send one in send it into SPY at Maximum fun org this first one comes from Max in New York City close to I was at a lunch with my wife and her dad who suddenly started laughing and told us what the woman at the next table

I just said she, her boyfriend was objectively ugly, and I used to tell her that all the time when we were still friends. What happened? You're no friends anymore? You kept saying my husband was fucking ugly. No, I said he was objectively ugly. Yeah, that means that it's universally a truth. Yeah, that means that it's universally a truth. Yeah, that means so unfair. Mm-hmm

Yeah, I guess like nobody ever wants to hear that anybody they're close to is ugly The person that they're attracted to Yeah, they've got something wrong with them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I guess objectively. Yeah, he's ugly as subjectively. I think he's quite handsome Yeah, that doesn't amount to a hilla bean. I mean, in the first place, you should maybe not be saying he's objectively ugly, but if you are, you might want to follow it up with what you think subjectively. Yeah. To give it the nuance.

Sure. And like, maybe instead of saying someone's boyfriend is objectively ugly, give them sort of like, oh, you have such a weird taste. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah exactly you're just still use or be like your boyfriend is objectively ugly but he's got a great ass yeah and cool boots yeah you give a little compliment where's those fucking dog murns shit shit big-ass horrible face, it's like someone hit a burlap garbage sack with a shovel. Yes. Yeah, that's objective. Yeah. That's a.

And every time I'm in the grocery store, I'm like, what do you keep your burlap? Thanks. Oh, there's the bat. Some you could really hit with a shovel. We'll go shovels here, too. You want to get the whole action. We got actually an area you can test all that out. This next one comes from Gabriel in Cleveland. My daughter and I were walking in downtown Cleveland, not far from where the Cleveland

Guardians play. Where are they from, the Guardians? They're baseball. They used to be the Indians. Oh, right. Can I even say that? What they used to be? Dave Gansel.

The couple was walking with their little boy, maybe four or five years old They were talking about going to the game and they asked the boy. So who's your favorite player and the boy answered football? Which is anymore? That's not even happening where they're close. I do like it when someone you know, that kid's fucked He's from America. Yeah, it's gonna get bullied to shit in school. He doesn't know he thinks He probably likes Frank Zappa and fucking Like I don't know sorry what he likes Frank Zappa and I don't know and he just Foods that take a while to appreciate the others a gula goulash. Yeah, sorry crowd. I guess I love goulash Turkey goulash was something that I love growing up. That wasn't a nickname that somebody gave you

It does sound like you fuck What is good main thing in goulash is it? You know cabbage eating? I'm not sure what ours was basically them You see Lee like those ribbony pasta ribbony pasta with pasta sauce and ground turkey. It was kind of like a Prince George kind of Truro Nova Scotia goulash. It's a noodle-y thing. Okay, well when I hear goulash I think like what's the cold soup? Borscht. Oh no. Gazpacho. It is gazpacho. But I soup? Borscht.

Oh no, it's gazpacho. It was gazpacho. But I was thinking borscht. I was thinking Eastern European beets. Oh yeah. Borscht is great. I love Eastern European food. I got to get some more beets. The Olenka that European market on Kingsway and Fraser, they have good

pierogies that are cheap. Yeah, I used to get, they had sweet pierogies. I would get like the blueberry pierogies. And they have like smaller companies, not the Chimo. Mm-hmm. Although I like big Chimo. Big Chimo. Big gas station. Where I go to get my pierogi, my European Fair Max or what's it called now circle K? Circle K. I miss that owl. Me too. I miss seeing an owl. I miss seeing the cat that was previous to the owl. Oh my god I forgot about the cat. Hey wear a little hat. Mac. This last one comes from Katherine A from Halifax Nova Scotia. This is an overheard from the bus in Halifax. A group of teens were getting off the bus to meet up with someone they seemed to want to impress. As they were getting off the bus, one of the girls said, do not bring up 9-Eleven again. She did not laugh the last time.

We were meeting Bin Laden. He said, don't bring it up. It's a bit of a sensitive spot. Being a teenager, that's definitely when you're trying out all your 9-eleven jokes not me personally But like I feel like kids like they probably make fun of 9-eleven because they don't have that Yeah, yeah, probably thinks pretty funny which oh when I was in high school I would make fun of like horrible tragedies because I just had no concept of but but I was still working on my empathy or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I plenty of grownups make fun of 9-11 too. That's true. Totally. And I'm certainly among them. Most of them are at Skankfest. Mostly I'm making fun of what Mark Wahlberg would have changed. I only make fun of one thing in 9-11.

No, I don't even want to do this joke. It's such a horrible joke. Okay. Backing out. Backing out. It's a horrible joke backing up backing out backing out It wasn't offensive, but it was making fun of someone's death and maybe I should take that seriously Yeah But that sounds like it could be offensive because if I think if I make fun of death too much and disrespected I am gonna die on and mcdonald's during um, uh, game night. Yeah care how I die i'm going to my last moment of life is my pinky toe is gonna be a

like on a guy's ASIC shoe. Yeah. He's gonna be stepping on my pinky toe. That's a lot. He's berating a teenager because his nuggets are don't have the sauce he wanted. In addition to the words that are written in we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us. Our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spypod1, like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Kate calling with an overheard.

I was at the post office the other day and I heard two employees talking to each other and right before I walked out the door, I heard one employee say, I don't care what the Lion King says. That's all I heard. I love that. Post Mufasa.

Yeah, I don't give a shit what he has. Mufasa can go, shut it. I've heard enough Mufasa. Hate Mufasa, dead ass. I'm waiting for Scar Origins. Dead ass, I'm waiting for Scar Origins. Mufasa's mid. What does the Lion King say?

Akuna Matata? But he doesn't say it. No, that's a... Well, he says it. That's hunkle and funkle or whatever they're called. Yeah, Uncle Funkle. Timon and Tumba. Timon and Pumba.

Timon and Tumba. You got it? Yeah. Tumba sounds way more hardcore. You think the Lion King doesn't say Akuna Matata? I think he goes, what do those two little fucking rats say? Akuna Matata?

Yeah, yeah. Those two rats. He sings it with them. Yeah, in the jungle. Mufasa? No. The Lion King. The king, the kid. Oh, that's, oh right, Mufasa isn't the Lion King. Well, he was, wasn't he? He means no worries. Come on. Yeah, cause Mufasa dies and then he becomes the, oh, I can't, oh, I just can't wait to be king. Yeah. Badalabapapatada under the sea and here's your next phone call I Dave Graham impossible guess this is Gabe calling in and overheard from southern Vermont I was just in the bank and I overheard a lady in one of the offices there talking on the phone to somebody else and she said, uh, gosh, we have to get one of those, uh,

those boards. Those boards, I think they're called shark littery boards. No frigging way. Oh man, you're going gonna blow it at the party. That's so shit. Don't make fun of someone if they mispronounce something they've only learned by reading. Yes, yeah, and there is a clit in there. That's so good. That's one of those things where someone hears that and they either never say it again, they're like, eh, people do that, Or someone says that anecdote for the next 30 years.

Like at every dinner you're, and get this, she's like, sure, clittery! Like a woman's of all the near and dear. What is the thing, can you think of one of those things that you guys repeated for 30 years? I can think of one immediately. We had, so I'm gonna do mine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We had someone over we my mom likes to when we do big family dinners like Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, my mom likes to just invite random people and uh one time this person came and my dad was pouring them wine and she goes don't be stingy don't be stingy so now every time you pour any drink don't be stingy don't be stingy, come on. So now every time you pour any drink, don't be stingy. Don't be stingy. Don't be stingy. That's pretty good. Mm-hmm.

I'm blanking on... I wore a dress one time, and everyone in my family kind of reminds me that I did that. Not in a bad way, they just kind of... Just remember when you wore that dress? ...that one crazy day when I was a kid and put on a dress. They... How did it look? I think it looked pretty good.

Yeah. I think it looked pretty good. I think it would look objectively great. Thank you. There is actually one where I dressed like Dolly Parton for Halloween one year, because my aunt had a poodle skirt that I could borrow. And then my mom and dad got in a fight because my dad, I had balloons in my blouse.

Right. Breasts. My dad, I had balloons in my blouse for the breasts. Famously boobily and doubt. Yeah, comically, just a large endowed breast. They named a sheep after her because the cloned sheep was made out of breast tissue. Wow, poor Dolly Parton. She's a nice person apparently. Apparently she's a terrible person. Oh really? No, of course,. Oh wow. Poor Dolly Parton. She's a nice person. Apparently she's a terrible person.

Oh really? No of course. Everyone loves her. Yeah she's the best. Betty White, terrible person. Yeah my mom and dad got in a big argument because my mom was trying to get, so my mom and dad were arguing while my mom kept deflating these balloons and my dad kept blowing new ones.

Wow. They just got in an argument about what, because my dad was like, well that's part of the costume though. That is the, and then my mom would be like, I don't want him walking around with, I love your dad. I was just sitting there with an open, And you were, the whole thing was based on the fact that you were wearing a poodle skirt.

The thing that Dolly Parton is not wearing. Not worn, I know. Well we gotta do bigger boobs cause we're going poodle skirt. Next year, let's just do him Freddy Krueger. Okay, but there's some new stuff about Freddy. You gotta learn that he's got a huge breast now. And we've got this poodle skirt, so he also wore that in Nightmare on Elm Street.

Have you seen the Nightmare on Elm Street 5? Freddy goes to New York. He has a beautiful skirt. He works for a fashion company. That's right. Have you seen the one where Freddy goes back to the 50s and kills Danny Zuko? Here's your final phone call. Hello, David and Graham and possible guests.

This is Annie calling from Texas with an overheard. My, well, I should preface this by saying that my boyfriend was with me for this and he questioned the validity of what I heard. But I was both looking at the person, so like kind of reading her lips and heard both. So I, this is accurate. He wanted me to mention that he doesn't think there's any way this girl said what I heard her say dump them but we were eating it kind of a fancy steak restaurant for the holidays celebrating the holidays and the restaurant was two stories so there

was an elevator on the floor if you couldn't take the stairs and the elevator doors opened and a little girl like maybe somewhere between like 10 and 12 years old steps off the elevator looks around and said it's she said it smells like my leg in here Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, lip reading my leg my leg I like what could that be it smells like my leg in here my leg could be someone's name like if they have a yeah pretty my leg a relative who's smelly yeah someone who smells bad named my leg my leg my leg smells malignant in here smells like my leg and leg smelly my don't you wish what I was thinking would like don't you wish someone would buy the rights to some of these famous movies like Nightmare on Street and do cool stuff like put Freddy back in time to a black and white era wouldn't that be so I would rule

Yeah, like people who are working at a factory getting cancer making crayons, and he's like haunting their dreams for no reason Freddy origin he's trying to get good at it. Yeah. What a, but what a- He would have to go back in time. It wouldn't be him living in that era. How ironic that they're making crayons in a black and white era.

Oh my God. Oh yeah. And that's all the cool metaphors you can get with black and white. Yeah. Kind of like The Giver. Yep. And for the audiences here, that's a Canadian novel that some people read in... Is it Canadian? I know it's a book that they make you reading when I was grade 7. Yeah, I read it. I just read it out loud a few months ago. Oh nice. Oh wow.

You're doing a book talk? You continue your fraudulent book talks? I think maybe I'm doing, you know, this tween literature. Maybe I'm gonna do hatchet next by Gary Paulson What's that bad one with a bat? There's a moon that the back? I can't remember is the owls of the family hungry Caterpillar oh yeah Fucked with that oh, it's beautiful. Yeah Well that brings us to the end of this year podcast Aaron. Aaron, tell us about your CD and DVD and special. I got a CD coming out, you're gonna want to get to the CD Factory. You're gonna want to stick your tongue in it.

Yeah, it's Bruce Springsteen's asshole without the jeans. Oh nice! I found a photo. He's got a good rump, absolutely, objectively. Objectively. Okay yeah, it's called Soft Bug Ego Jazz. It's by me, comedian and entrepreneur Aaron Reed. Yes. And it's available for download on Vimeo. That link will be up. You just cut, you have to, you have to do a bit of work. You know what? If it, if it, if it's out of the time

That it will be it will have any the link. Oh, I will do that in the end the band camp So the link in the bio, baby Yeah Yes, I'm looking. Yeah, so I'm FluggyGoJazz. Check it out. Freak. You have to bleep both of those, please. Can you? Yeah.

Anyways, check that out. And then if you don't have money, it'll be on YouTube a week after the 24th. Whatever this... Yeah, it'll be like... In February, it'll be on YouTube and Spotify. Sure. Nice. Thank on YouTube and Spotify. Sure nice nice. Yeah Thank you for buying it. That's crazy Don't buy it for 30 bucks. It's nuts. It only cost me two years of my life and I Is that the going price on a bandcamp? I'm gonna buy it. Oh bandcamp

I'll probably do it $9.99 and give the option to pay more. Okay Not enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Or wait for one of those Bandcamp Fridays and Aaron gets all of it. Gets all the cash. That's when I jack up the prices. I do pharmaceutical strategies. Yeah. Or Uber. Oh sorry, you have diabetes, time to pay, baby. She's the Martin Shkreli of weird comedy. Yeah, yeah. I'm the Martin Shkreli of conceptual energy room-based. Yeah, and it's only like one person listen to Aaron's album at a time yeah yeah yeah scarcity I use scarcity and then I get a hot young people don't make fun of him for saying pronouncing it scarcity he

learned it by reading no and go check out the Lion King origins new movie scarcity it's a web both the town where Scar came from. Wow. Such a bad attitude. Well you know, hurt lions hurt lions. And you know that Scarcity, the people who work there at the diners and shit, yeah they're hyenas. Can I get you a cup of coffee? That's pretty good. Isn't it? Yeah. Good hyena. You should get your nephew to start reading the Lion King books. Yeah, then I could do the voices. It is I, Scar. I'm played by Jeremy Iyer.

You know, I think that the Lion King Origins series is gonna end with the hyenas, because they're gonna make a movie that's punishingly annoying. Mm-hmm. How did I come to be? Well, let's see. These are my parents fucking over skeleton bones If it's how it ends they should call them by Enos. Oh Bye. Oh, yeah. Bye. Oh, yeah, cuz they get they can die. Yeah, this is a wooly man mouth abusing me with his tusks

Just fucking hitting me in the head. They're not back in the Ice Age And this is how you get his origins. Oh, I'm sorry. Come on man. You think there were no Enos in the Ice Age. And this is Hyena's origins. Oh, I'm sorry. Come on, man. You think there weren't hyenas in the Ice Age? Whoa, this snow stuff's really making my paws cold. Anyways, bye, Aaron's album. Yeah, soft buggy, you, Jess. Bye, Hyenas.

Free c***. And if you're... You gotta believe that. You gotta believe that one, too. Look at the show notes. We'll put who it is that A Eric can't help himself from saying. It's really bad and I shout out and there's bad people out there. You gotta be careful. You gotta be careful.

You gotta be careful. Yeah. If you happen to be on White Horse this weekend, I will be performing at the Boiler Room on Friday and Saturday night. And I host a weekly show at LMG, called The Laugh Gallery, every Thursday at 730. Aaron's been on it. It's such a fun show.

If you like good comedy and strange trinkets that you find at the thrift stores and muscle mags and erotic M&Ms. You got it. Those are the big three. Muscle mags, erotic M&Ms. You got it. Those are the big three. Muscle Mags, Erotic M&Ms. Yeah. And what was the third one? Yeah, the Erotic Pez M&Ms. Erotic Pez M&Ms.

Yeah, there's one where the yellow Pez M&M, he's a flasher and he opens, when you hit the Pez button, he opens his, but then it's the green thing that comes out and then he has a full dick. Full human dick. Doesn't Pez come out? Yeah, where does Pez come out? This one's pretty unique and really expensive. A really funny idea. Well, thank you so much for being our guest, Aaron. No problem.

It's been a blast. And, uh, Coney2012, let's do this. Yeah, that I will not bleep. Let's get a mid-office. Pretty good. I will not bleep. Let's get a mid-office. Free Harambe. Thank you, everybody out there, for listening. And come on back next week for another episode of Snowpike as yourself.

["Snowpike as Yourself"] And did you know the Alan Parsons project song? The one that goes, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-doop-doop-doop, ba-do would enter to it. Oh, but do do do do do do do do do do do do do do that's such a good song. What's the name of your album? Soft Bug Ego Jazz. Soft Bug Ego Jazz. I have why have I heard that before? I was on some promo like probably on Instagram when I was running the shows I figured out what it was called finally so nice soft bug ego jazz soft bug ego jazz you're gonna remember it it seems like one of the two things soft bug ego jazz yeah it's two

things not four different things no two different things okay yeah but it's meant to be two different two different things. Like a soft bug and then ego jabs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check, check. Check. Maximum fun. A worker-owned network. Of artist-owned shows.

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