Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 884 - Nathan Hare

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

Comedian Nathan Hare returns to talk West Edmonton Mall, dog knees, and fancy clubs.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 8884 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who just like a second ago we were talking about how fun it is to scratch an itch. Mr. Dave Schofka.

Scratching an itch is great. Yeah. But have you had sex? No, is it anything like scratching in it? Depends if you're with that You know Sharon's down in that doesn't she scratched down his back? Yeah. Yeah, she does and I feel like that was a real thing in early 90s Mm-hmm films or videos was the scratching of the back sounds awful. Mm-hmm. I would never I would never want that well, yeah, I

Boy, I wouldn't mind being like jabbed in the ribs I would never want that. Yeah, I, boy, I wouldn't mind being like, jabbed in the ribs. Like with a knuckle. Yeah, oh, that'd be nice. Or like a sexy noogie. Get over here. Scratching an itch is good, but you know what,

for me, the ultimate in relief is getting something out of your teeth with your tongue, not resorting to crude tools. Yeah, I had something like that last weekend. Especially something that's been in for hours. So satisfying. So if it's like popcorn skin. Oh, ho.

Woo hoo wee. Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, for the first time in person on the podcast, he has a podcast of his own called, Corporations Are Awesome. It's Mr. Nathan Hare. That's a really good title of a podcast of his own called, Corporations Are Awesome. It's Mr. Nathan Hare. That's a really good title of a podcast. Thank you.

Well, let's get to know us. What is your podcast? Is it really about corporations? Yeah, it's about corporations. It's kind of an ironic title, but it's basically we dive into any company, big or small. We've done Starbucks, we've done Apple.

I brought in- Those are big ones. Those are big. Those are big. And I don't know, I brought in like the convenience store across from my house. Really any business at all. Yeah, when does a business,

like is every small business a corporation? In the rules of this podcast, yes, I guess. What are your favorite episodes? What's your favorite corporation? My favorite corporation. And we'll all go around as well. That's I go Honda. Honda. Reliable car. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Used to drive one in high school. What'd you have? Uh Honda Accord. 2001. 2001 Honda Accord? Yeah. Can you believe it? Don't I, isn't that, isn't that so me? That is so you. Not anymore. What else do they do like they do heavy machinery? But bikes they do motorbikes they do they are Acura the whole Acura. Yeah Honda subgenre That's cool motorbikes. Yeah, I think we said that oh Motorbikes they don't do like you like because some of them do electronics like Yamaha like sure keyboards

Yeah, but I think Honda might do like, you know, like farm equipment or something. Oh, yeah I don't know Japanese for a girl. It's like It's on my back is bad. Oh Yeah, I owe you your favorite corporation, oh my God, I wasn't thinking about it. I'd probably go with Le Chateau. Le Chateau, oh very good, very very good. Canadian party clothes. Oh yeah, yeah.

Clubbing clothes from the 2000s. That's all I'm wearing now. From now on, I'm only buying Canadian clubbing clothes. If you were on Electric Circus, you went to Le Chateau. You? Mondalay, Mondalay Mondalay giant mega corporation. Do they make like chocolate? They make everything from like deodorant to chewing gum to candy to like this giant mega company. Are they related to Unilever or are they

they probably I think they are probably competitors of, no, that's a corporation. There you go, maybe a Procter and Gamble. Oh, shit. And that same family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. These guys are all in the Dow Jones Industrial. Yeah, yeah. I think Kentucky Fried Chicken, Pizza Hut, and I think Taco Bell are all owned by a corporation

called Yum Foods. Yum Brands. Yeah, Yum Brands. Yeah. Yeah, great brands. Yeah. Yeah. Great corporation. I don't know any, but I really don't know anything about, I'll, uh, after we do an episode about a certain corporation, I'll go and look at their stock price.

And I'm always, now I'm kind of getting curious about stocks. I'm like, maybe I should, I don't, I've never invested in anything with the like, Oh, I'm investing in this corporation because I think it'll do well. I've only ever done like the random things that your bank set up or whatever. Yeah, I wouldn't. My bank is always like Honda, do Honda. Do Honda.

It's a blue chips guy. Yeah, I don't know anything about investing in a company. Although that's not true. My wife and I invested in a vegetarian, like fake meat, kind of based out of Victoria. And man, it never went up, but it sure just kept winning down and down and down, dead to just zero. You had the food and it was really good?

Yeah. You got invested. And then they were on Dragon's Den. Ah, there you go. I was like, okay, they'll become the Canadian man. Peminolary's involved. Yeah, Mr. Wonderful, he won his seal of approval. I know we joke about him, he's the very worst.

He's the fucking worst. You know what, just stay in the States, we don't need you up here. Stop coming up here and nosing around. He remember when he was gonna run for prime minister? Yeah. And the big thing was that he didn't speak French, so he's like, I'll hire tutors, I'll hire tutors

and I'll learn how to speak fluent French. I kind of respect that. He's gonna cue mon or something. Or like the night before the election, he's like, I'm gonna cram. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's doing French immersion. Yeah, but he's like, what you say, like Canada's Trump-esque.

Yeah, but like even not even knowing anything about his business background, he's just, I find him unpleasant. Yes, he's unpleasant. Yeah, he's just a bad guy. And the Mr. Wonderful thing, like, is he sarcastic? I think it must be sarcastic. Because he knows he sucks. Yeah,, is he sarcastic? I think it must be sarcastic. Because he knows he sucks?

Yeah, I think he knows he sucks. Look, I know I'm awful, but I have a funny nickname. Yeah, do you ever watch Shark Tank or Dragon's Den or any such show? You know what? I feel like I only ever watch it in a hotel. Because I'm staying in a hotel right now, and that's the only time I ever watch live cable. It is prime hotel viewing. Even though I have cable now,

I have my parents' cable login thing on my Apple TV, but I never watch it. But always in a hotel, I just have it on in the back. It's nice. It makes it feel like when you see a show that you like, it feels like you earned it, because you have to wait around, find it on the Guy channel.

Will hotels, when all the old people who still have cable, myself included, die, will hotels be the last ones? I mean, I definitely think hotels are slow on the uptake. I feel like... Yeah. Sometimes they're too quick though, because sometimes they'll be like, I'm going to get... We're putting iPod chargers on all the like...

They're like crazy. Yeah, on the... What do you call them? The clock radio. Clock radio. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I saw a hotel in Toronto, like advertising there,

like, we don't have TVs. We give you a record player. Really? Yeah, which I was like, it's not, not the same form of entertainment at all. We've got a record of the news. You can listen to the news on record. Yeah, you can listen to the news.

We've got eight hours of law and order. Yeah, yeah. Like 10, 15 years ago, do you remember the Ace Hotel? Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. It was like a chain of hipster hotels. Yeah.

And I never stayed at one, but in all the pictures of them, they never showed a TV, and I wasn't sure if there was a TV, and how can you stay at a hotel without a TV? Yeah, a record player. Ugh. What's the worst hotel you've ever stayed? The worst hotel, probably my worst experience

at a hotel was, I stayed at a hotel in Lisbon where I had food poisoning. And it had a, it was like, we were in Spain and we went to a bunch of places in Spain and then ended our trip in Lisbon. And this was the one place place that a shared bathroom, one hotel, got food poisoning. And I just was like running down this long hallway

all night to throw up. I just stay. And it was a tiny room. Pardon? I just stay in the bathroom. Exactly, yeah. It was like this tiny little bathroom. I once stayed at a hostel in Barcelona

and the toilet was so, like it was a shared bathroom. Yeah. And the toilet was so far from the door and shared bathroom. And the toilet was so far from the door and like the lock on the door was not good enough. And like, if you were stuck on the toilet you could not reach the door to like stop it. It was like, oh. It's so scary.

Yeah. What if the Spanish poo monster is coming? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the, speaking of like poo monster. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The, speaking of like, Pumas, you remember on Mori Povich where he would do the confronting your fears and then it was like Cottonball Man came out,

do you know what I'm talking about? The guy who was the hypnotist for that. Oh, no, he's back. He's back, he's back. There's a guy that I'd known for years as a hypnotist named Boris, Boris the hypnotist, he was the guy that did all of the hypnotizing to make the people less afraid of their phobias. Oh, interesting.

He's a guy from Toronto. Interesting. Do you guys believe in hypnotists? I don't know. Cause when I was in high school, I remember we had, like, you know, it was like a big assembly for like some grad thing and they brought people up and did that. And then, like, I was like, you know, it's like a big assembly for like some grad thing and they brought people up and did that.

And then like, I was like, okay, so there's people on stage but then our friend who was just watching it, he got hypnotized like in the crowd. We were like telling him to do stuff. So I'm like, there must be something about it that is real. There was a guy in my dorm like that could do it. And a couple of times he gathered everyone together and did a thing and it was good.

The one time he tried to do it on me, I didn't realize you're supposed to tap out. I got too deep and I was just sort of giggling like, oh no, am I supposed to be hypnotized by now? And I ruined it for everyone. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I think there's something to it. Yeah.

And even like, quit smoking. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Ravine. like, you know, like quit smoking. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Ravine. God, he's the best ravine. Now we were talking about bad hotels. Yes. Before the show you told us that after, you're here in town to do some shows.

But afterwards you and your buddies are meeting up at the West Edmonton Mall. Yep. Formerly the world's biggest mall. Yep. Is it anymore? No, it was for a while it was Mall of America, but I feel like there must be one in Dubai or something. Yeah, it's not even close anymore, I don't think.

I think it's like, maybe it's top 10, maybe top 10. Yeah, West Edmonton Mall is bigger than Mall of America. That's the only mall that I remember hearing that had- Yeah, and I think there's multiple Malls of America. Yeah, there was a new one that. But they don't. In Milwaukee, maybe? But there hasn't been like a new mall in 20 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, maybe they'll all close and West Edmonton will become the biggest again. Yeah, we're going on a little boy's trip. The world's largest malls include the Iran Mall, the Dubai Mall, and the West Edmonton Mall. Okay, so we're still in the, we're like in the top three. In the top three. Okay.

Sorry, we're just talking about shopping malls from now on, so. Yeah. I gotta go to the other ones. I gotta go, we gotta, this group of guys, we gotta go to all the malls. Oh, I got bad news. This Wikipedia page is just a stub.

Oh no! No! Shit. So the number one is the Iran Mall in Tehran. That was open in 2018. Okay. There's a Kuwait Mall, Malaysia Mall, another Iran. Where's West Edmonton? It seems like it's pretty far down the old list there.

Guys, I'm so sorry, but it's the 29th biggest fall in the world. Oh shit, we're not even in the top 10. That doesn't sound very good. It's tied with Fashion Island in Bangkok. Oh. Yeah, we were deciding between Bangkok, West Edmonton.

In the end, West Edmonton came in just slightly cheaper, so we went for it. Fair enough, yeah. Now you're staying at the Fantasyland Hotel. Yes, jungle room, jungle themed room. Okay. What did you choose? Jungle room? Was that everyone's first choice? Okay. I wasn't involved in the choosing of the whole,

we knew that we wanted to stay in a themed room, but my buddy, shout out Sam Burns, he booked it. And he just booked the jungle room. And it was only a week ago. I was like, what theme are we? He said jungle. And I was like, ooh, good choice. That's a good choice. Cause there's other choices. I know there's like space

Yeah, there's space which I've stayed in before when I was a kid. I stayed in you stayed in space. Yep Stayed in space is awesome. There's a there's like a 50s diner He'd won which is like for like boomer Nostalgic boomer this is Dave's brought of all the different. Okay, let's go. We've got igloo family. Well, let's see igloo. Igloo is, you wanna see it?

No, no, just the name of it is igloo family? It's a family size igloo one. Oh, okay, okay, fine. There's Polynesian family. I'm just going from the bottom up because I noticed there was Polynesian family, Polynesian and modern Polynesian. Is there a jungle three friends, three guys?

There's a Victorian coach, African. I'd be sort of worried about who's, what they're putting into the design. Well, it's my idea of what African is as a guy from Edmonton. There's truck room. Oh, truck room. Truck.

I didn't know that was a family. Truck handling rules. You sleep in the bed of a truck. That Oh, truck room. Truck, I didn't know that was a rule. You sleep in the bed of a truck. That's, that's. The bed is a bed. That is a bed. Amazing. And you suck on a gas pump all night.

I don't see jungle. Yeah, I don't see jungle in here. Maybe it's. Maybe it's Polynesian. Modern Polynesian? Maybe it's Polynesian. Is that kind of like Tiki? Oh yeah, maybe you're staying in a Tiki hot day just like in the truck one again.

I like truck. Yeah, maybe my friend just made it up. This looks pretty jungle-y. Yeah, it's looking good. Yeah. Is there a hot tub? I know we have a hot tub. That looks like a hot tub right there.

How many guys do you think you've been with? Let me bring it over here for you. Oh, perfect. Yeah, it's looking good. Yeah. Is there a hot tub? I know we have a hot tub. That looks like a hot tub right there. Yeah. How many guys do you think you have? Let me bring it over here for you. Oh, perfect. Wow, I can't. Just looking at it, I'm getting so excited. Yeah.

I can't believe this is gonna be me on Friday night. There's how many of you total? Three. Three of you total. A queen, you total, it's a queen bed. And a bunk bed. A bunk bed. Yeah.

And who's, are you rock, paper, scissors? Are you just, everybody gets a bunk bed a bunk bed. Yeah, who's you rock paper scissors? Are you just everybody gets a night in his solo bed? Oh, that is a really good question hasn't come up yet How many nights are we thinking? So we're doing so two months We want to have a day for every store, right Both gaps yeah, yeah, exactly We want to have a day for every store, right? You want to be worried about gaps. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Um, two nights. I'm going to go insane. I think I'm not going to leave, leave them all. I'm not going to go outside. Yeah. It's going to be, I'm going to come back so pale. Yeah, but that's the look you want. That's the London look.

Um, do you, you went to West Ed as a child? Yeah. Didn't it seem insane when you were a kid? It seemed crazy It was so cool. I thought I just the idea the idea of it I just did it. Yeah, and it was perfect at every age. I've gone cuz I remember I went when I Was this is I love this history the history I think I've gone when I was like a really little kid like I don't remember like just like vague memory Then I went when I was like in grade five, I think which was really fun That's the perfect time to go that's when we sit in the space room. Mm-hmm. That was awesome. Did the waterpark did the

Amusement park and then I went with like this like youth group thing in high school with all my friends and that was awesome This is I feel like hi in high school. You're like we're kind of awesome. I feel like in high school, you're like, we're kind of like, yeah, this is kind of whatever, but like, you know. But was it church youth group? Yeah. Well, you can't be that whatever, because you're like, I love God.

You're like, can you believe God created this mall? Wait, God made Hot Topic, this is awesome. Oh my God, this is God's 29th biggest mall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And on the 29th day after Ty and Bangkok and in Edmonton, he did them both at once because they're equally as big. Yeah, but that was fun because I was like,

oh, I have a crush on a girl and I'm in a mall. That's huge. Yeah, best feeling ever. because I was like, oh I have a crush on a girl and I'm in a mall, you know That's you. Yeah ever fire an orange Julia Yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, I didn't talk to her the entire time. That's the right way to go Yeah, as a teenager. Yeah, did she ever know did you ever find out? I Think so. Yeah, I think she started she started just dating my friend and but he knew that I had a crush on her and I'm and he did it anyway. He did it anyways, but then nothing was gonna happen

between us, so I can't be too mad. What do you mean nothing was gonna happen? Well, I don't know, she liked him. I can't be like, dude, I liked her and she didn't know I existed. You have to reject her. Drop clues about me. We're friends, aren't we?

We're friends. Yeah, being in a, I feel like, well, my wife has said many times that she joined a youth group strictly to meet boys. Yeah. And I feel like that was a scene. And she met one boy, and he had a beard and a lot of crazy ideas. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was Hillbilly Jim from the WWF. Yeah. Well, if you can believe it, my parents met at this youth group.

Well, really? Yes, the same one. Well, were they older than you? It was, it was my friend and the girl had a crush, I don't know how that works. It was a weird situation, but we made it work Yeah adopted parents. I they adopted me But yeah, they but then it was so awesome because my parents met there and so they and they worked there and that was like a big part of their thing so it was like

Anything associated with that was like free rein like if I was like, oh, I'm just going to like the Young Life thing, they're like, great, cool. See you later, stay as late as you want. You're going that and like, this is totally awesome. When you say they work there, like for how long? Like when they were, you know, in their early 20s. Oh, okay. They weren't like still working there.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what I was thinking like down at corporate, like just doing the numbers and. Yeah, yeah. What the- Guys, you gotta get those Bible verses up. Come on. Those kids aren't memorizing those Bible verses.

Because I did youth group stuff too. It wasn't that, because we went to church and that was the Bible part. But then the youth group was just about people with bad haircuts. Yeah. It was also like, I know we did a scavenger hunt. Yeah. Across the whole city, whole city scavenger hunt. What others, you went to the mall, you did scavenger hunt.

We did camp, went to like a camp place, resort place, which is really fun. Yeah. And then we do, the funny thing about this one is it was really secular, I guess. I guess they were trying to be like, they'd come, they were trying to get people that didn't go to church, like kids,

and that's why it was kind of cool, because all my friends were like, oh, this isn't really that lame, so they'd come. Mine was Shrekular. Was it? Yeah, it was weird. It was like, it was a little donkey guy. Yeah, yeah, mine was Megamind.

Oh, wow. Yeah, Kind of a later period. Will Ferrell animated. Yeah. The coolest thing about mine was we learned how to train your dragon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But so yeah. So then this one they do they'd play songs like like, you know, like worship songs, acoustic guitar. But instead of playing worship songs, they play like cold play. They try to make it fun. But it's kind of a weird thing is you're like, the point, like worship songs, the acoustic guitar, but instead of playing worship songs, they'd play like Coldplay or whatever. They try to make it fun. But it's kind of a weird thing is you're like, the point of the worship songs is like the message, not like the fact that you're singing together.

Like, you know what I mean? From God, like if God, God carried, he's like, I'm just glad you guys are singing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care that it's some 41, as long as you're just singing. Have you seen that they're doing a live action, how to train your dragon? Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

They're going to use real dragons this time? The Disney ones can you, they have their whole like hundred years of movies to draw from to make live action and then, and then whatever is it Dreamworks? Probably Dreamworks, right? They're a four stitch. Newly launched. Yeah, new stitch is dropping. Yeah. Like, the one that I thought was weird is Moana

because it was released not that long ago. Yeah. Because I feel like they do they redo the ones from back in the day. Yeah, they're just probably running out. What have they done from the, the weird one was Lion King because there were no people in it. So they just used computer generated lions. And it was just kind of like when you saw the castless, you're like, yeah, that's fine.

Like it's, you know, Zatharogon is the, your cat, I guess. Yeah, it was Donald Glover Simba. Yeah, yeah, and you're like, okay. It's, you know, I can't remember the guy who played it in the original. I know it was Nathan Lane was one of them. Oh, sure.

Yeah. And the, oh, Ernie Sabella. Ernie Sabella, yeah, yeah. From the Seinfeld where he's naked on the train. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Good recall. I mean, it seems like those live action ones, it's purely for families when it's like a Saturday

at 3 p.m. and then like we got to kill some time. Yeah. What are we gonna go see? Oh, there's a Lion King. Yeah. It's like literally all it is. It's before. It was the only audience.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, in the past I've went to a movie that is, well, I went to Wicked and it was the H-Span was from people who probably were there when Wizard of the Oz debuted. Wizard of the Opera. Wizard of the Opera. Wizard of the Opera.

Wizard of the Opera. Wizard of the Opera. Wizard of the Opera. Yeah. But yeah, and then little kids, little tiny kids running around bored out of their mom's car. Yeah, being like, how long is this thing? Well, at least there's no part two, there is?

What the hell? Yeah, the youth group scene was like, there was, oh, in Calgary too, there was a club that was supposed to be, it was like, kind of like a nightclub, but it was all for teens. Oh, yeah, I remember we had one of those really briefly. Yeah, it was like, it was a really good place to go buy pot. Yeah. That's a bad idea. Yeah. Make that. Yeah. Just

let teens in till one of the morning. Yeah. You guys have money? No. Yeah. You guys are going to behave, right? Cause we don't have an actual bouncer. Yes. Yes. Do you have control over your bodies? No. You haven't figured it out yet. Do you have a mob mentality? For sure, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, what was it called? The cave, I wanna say, it was called the cave.

It's always called something like the cave. Yeah. What street was it on? I mean, it was definitely Southwest. If I can remember anything, it was Southwest. Okay, the cave on Southwest. Maybe post-West Edmonton Mall, I'll drive down to Calgary, see if it's the right one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or just do a DJ, guest DJ set or something. Just what's up, y'all? Yeah, if you see any teenagers in the mall, just be like, hey, where's the like all ages club that you guys, it is all ages. Yeah, is there an all ages club in Edmonton that you can check out?

It's not 19 minus, it's all ages and I don't know where it can go. Also, would a kid's bar these days have non-alcoholic like beer and stuff like that? No. Oh. Why not? There's no alcohol in it. I wonder what they would have. Because there's...

Yeah. What is the... I know they had like pop, the one I went to. Have you seen the Secret lives of Mormon wives? No. Yes, I've seen one episode. And they have like, they have like these soda bars that they go to. Yes.

I've watched TikToks about this. Yeah, and they have like special like soda fountain, sort of like orders where, you know, I'll get this soda with whatever stuff in it, throw in some gummy bears and like whipped cream. And is this the thing that they do at home or is this like, is there a bar that they go to that does? I don't think it's a bar.

I think it's like the equivalent of like Starbucks. Oh, okay. Yeah, you get your fancy sodas because they can't have caffeine, I guess. I guess they're like non-caffeinated sodas that they get. I guess. The more common people get, yeah.

Huh, yeah. I know, a friend of mine told me that some parts of the, or groups of the religion do drink caffeine, but they are not allowed to drink hot, like coffee or tea. Wow, they get ice caps. Yeah, see, that's the workaround. Yeah. I mean, or Coca-Cola.

Coca-Cola, yeah. Yeah. Love Coca-Cola. Yeah. Can I have one later? Yeah? Yeah. Oh, amazing, amazing. Top, top tier pop, Coca-Cola, or whatever. Diet Coke for me, I love Diet Coke. Yeah. Okay.

Cause like people that really like that flavor, that's it. It's the ride or die. I know I got into it in COVID. I just, I don't know why I was buying them and yeah, now I have one almost every day. Nice. Start your day off with a cold diet Coke. Yeah. It's perfect. I don't, I try not, I'm drinking a coffee right now, but I try not to drink coffee in the afternoons unless I'm really tired, which I kind of am right now. But you're trying to go diet Coke go diet coke a little bit less. Is there no caffeine in there is but I think it's less than a coffee I could be totally wrong. Yeah, I'm really having a love affair with coke zero at the moment

Oh interesting that tastes more like tastes more like oh, it's not yeah, it's not quite there. Oh, yes There's no coke is it there's no good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I had I was at the movies and I got, by accident got like a regular large Coke instead of a Diet Coke and I felt insane afterwards. I drank the whole thing, it was so much sugar. I hadn't had a regular Coke in a while. What movie was it? This was The Last Showgirl.

Yeah. It was the movie. But Pam Anderson? Yeah. Yeah, there's a little Oscar buzz around that movie But Pam Anderson? Yeah. Yeah, there's a little Oscar buzz around that movie for a while. Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty good. I saw a movie, I don't know if this was one of the Oscar movies, a movie called Sing Sing. It's a- Yeah, that was really good. Yeah, it was really good. I liked that movie a lot. Oh yeah, cool.

You're thinking of Sing Too. That's right. Which one has Seth McFarlane in it? Yeah. See, I don't think he's in Big Fart Lerner? Yeah. See, I don't think he's in the sequel, actually. Really? Yeah.

Fuck. He's the best character in the original. What the hell? The crooning mouse? Have you seen it? I haven't seen it, but I know that he's the crooning mouse. He's a crooner. He loves to croon.

Yeah. That's like, it's like Bruce Willis and his harmonica and blues thing. It's like, you're famous for one thing. Maybe I'll just dip a toe in being a. Being an annoying SNL host. Yeah. You know that those people don't have imposter syndrome. Yes, yes.

They're like, this is right, I deserve more of this. Not only do I belong, I belong here as well. Yeah, have you ever heard people that say, they're like, I haven't, I haven't, I have imposter syndrome. I just need to get over it. And it's like, no, no, you deserve that. You should be. You suck. Yeah.

You're not very, don't, yeah. Sometimes they're like, oh no, keep that. That instinct's good. Don't lose that. Yeah. It's, and it is for my own edification is a, you feel like you're not good enough to be in the thing that you're doing. Yeah. You feel like you don't belong there. You're an imposter.

You're, you're, you're faking your way through every day of work. Yeah. Yeah. But like the reaction was to be, it's like, no, you're great. You're just super hard on yourself. You belong here. You belong here. You're just as good as everybody else.

But yeah. And it's sometimes you're like, no, that's just a fight. Yeah, it's not gonna hurt you to feel this feeling like you can still keep doing it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think it must be hard if you're a therapist, because you don't get to see the person at work. Yes. You don't get to like, oh, yeah, well, I know you feel like you have, you don't belong there.

And could you send some video of you at work? I mean, to be the judge, you gave the wrong size there. I don't know the fucking diet coke machine is broken. Yeah. Yeah. The positive syndrome from working in a movie. I don't belong. I belong in a ditch. I feel like my projection was like a centimeter off. I don't know if you're working in a movie theater. I don't belong here. I belong in a ditch somewhere. I feel like my projection was like a centimeter off. I don't know.

I don't know, I don't deserve to be at the Cineplex. That'd be a good thing, undercover therapist. Has that already been? That's good. Your therapist follows you around and sees if you're justified in your problems or not. Yeah, yeah, like would you hire it for yourself or would like your, someone not? Yeah, yeah. Like would you hire it for yourself or would like your-

Oh, interesting. Someone be like, hey, I need a private investigator therapist to come follow Graham around. Yeah. And then they're like, okay, good news, bad news. We got to follow him around everywhere. We got a lot of pictures. Bad news, he's a serial killer.

So. Yeah. I don't know if I, oh boy, when do you become a compulsive masturbator? He's a clearly, clearly a masturbator. He's really good at it. He's good at it. He's certainly no imposter.

Yeah, he knows what he's doing. He's driven. Yeah, I love the idea for that Joe. Have you ever had like, it feels like a very Larry David kind of thing, seeing somebody looks like your doctor or something outside of doctor's office? That's wild.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think if I have. Yeah, you have. Yeah. And they're doing something unhealthy. No, they were ordering a burrito, but they were a regular there. So they were like, the burrito, the veggie burrito,

or the beef burrito, they knew his order. And so I'm like, so he's here pretty much every day. Next time I'm gonna talk to him. Who was it, your doctor? Yeah, and it was, I was like, I'm just gonna be picturing them eating that burrito. Yeah. You know?

Yeah, totally. Every time he leaves the room, when you're at the doctor's office, you're gonna be like, he's probably farting. Yeah. You know, yeah. Every time he leaves the room when you're at the doctor's office, you're gonna be like, he's probably farting. Yeah. I'll be right back. Next time you go for a checkup, you're like, bring him a burrito.

Like, how about you make me a little taller? I don't know. I don't know what the checkup would be. How do you bribe a doctor? Change the records. Yeah. Yeah. I got a few verte Yeah. Change the records. Yeah. Yeah. I got a few vertebrae I could replace. Yeah.

Yeah, it's, I feel like I was just watching Breaking Bad and there was, when he gets the cancer diagnosis, his doctor has mustard on his shirt. That's all you can focus on. So it's like, I just don't think of these people as being people who eat or drive cars or have houses well probably have houses but dry I don't want to know what kind of car my doctor dry oh I see I see like doctors with you know ordered do see doctor without borders. Some would call them Medecins Sans Frontières. Nice.

I do, I see like, you'll be in traffic and you'll see like a license plate, a personalized license plate that's like neck doctor. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Help! He's knocking on the window. Help, I need a tracheotomy!

Oh, perfect! I'm gonna put you in a window. Help, I need a tracheotomy. Oh, perfect. Yeah, I one time went to a foot doctor and he was the funniest guy ever. Like he really missed his calling as being in comedy. Like I'm sure he makes a million dollars a year. But he was so funny.

I couldn't get over it. Just constantly joking around. He's like, you must think I'm insane. I was like, I do. I think you're insane for being in this profession. Also, you just seem crazy. Did he have props? Well, he used my foot as a prop.

Hello. And he was doing, he was selling me on the procedure like he would a used car. He's like, okay, well, I can do two things. I can do this one, but I personally, if I was gonna get done, I would do this one over here. Oh, I love that. What foot stuff do you need done?

I had a nail that needed to be corrected. Oh, okay. Yeah. And it was- It was being naughty. It was being naughty. I had to separate it from the other toes. Dunce cap.

Yeah, I wonder when the last time in person where a dunce cap was. Oh, 2025. I'm sure some schools still have dunce caps. Of course. Such a funny, like, specific, like, do they get those at, like, a school supply store? Do they make their own dunce caps? You get them in Naples.

Yeah, you do get them in the teacher's department of staples. Yeah, back to school shopping. My mom bought me a dunce cap. I don't know. But you often just wear it, you can, yes. Was there a kind of paper called fool's cap? Yeah, was it fool's cap lined? But could you, I always pictured like you would turn it

into a cone and make it into a hat. Oh yeah. Crafty. I remember fool's cap, but. Fool's cap. Oh, fool's cap. Yeah. Ah.

Why did I think it was like fool I think it's fool's cap. Fool's cap. Well, cause it makes more sense is that, let me just look up fool's cap. Yeah, I- A size of paper, about 13 by eight inches. Which wouldn't be big enough- The perfect size.

To make a, to make a dunce cap, right? But it is fool's cap. It's too small, yeah. Do your daughters, do they do anything on paper? Like any, like homework or anything? Is it all iPad, all computer? It's all on paper. It's still all on paper?

They have to like sometimes do research. Oh sure, okay. On the computer, but yeah. Everything else is still hand written. Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. Is Wikipedia still. Everything else is still handwritten. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Is Wikipedia still like, don't use Wikipedia? Is that a thing anymore?

I don't know, because they're not, they're like, grade three and five, so they're not really doing... They're Woodward and Bernstein work. They're not like, citing sources. They're not looking up the biggest malls on Wikipedia. But Wikipedia is all citation. Yeah. Like, but like, I mean, if I was a student right now, I would go to Wikipedia

and then I would click on the things that they're citing. Have you ever done that? And that thing they're citing is so wrong, like the thing that they've cited. Because that also takes, like, somebody has to comb through those and make sure that they actually link to... Because sometimes it's like a site that's not there anymore.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, when I was at CBC Music, I would interview artists and things, and I, sometimes my work would get cited on Wikipedia. Oh, nice. And then, like a couple of years after I left, they just got rid of that whole part of CBC Music, like all the web, all the blogs.

They vanished that thing a hundred percent. So if you want to know, like if you want to find out the Nelly Furtado song, Parking Lot, what specific parking lot she's singing about, you can't find it anymore. Wow. Wow. That was the real, the heady days of blogs. It was like the top blogs, super cuts. Wow. That was the real, the heady days of blogs. It was like the top blogs, super cuts. Yeah.

Dave did a super cut that went super viral. It was a David Letterman asking his musical guest if that was their drums. Oh yes. I rented their. Yeah. Yeah, that was mine. That was him.

Amazing. Yeah. You're in the presence of a viral sensation. Of a YouTuber. What? You've posted on YouTube. I've posted on YouTube. I would post more, but I can't find my password.

Yeah. Oh fair, me too, me too. What was your first YouTube video that you ever saw, Nathan? That I ever saw, that's a really good question. I mean, like I remember, like, like, I don't know if it was the first one but like Charlie bit my finger I remember that was like a class. Yeah, I'm like that's like that and I was really into you guys know the group Smosh Yes. Yeah, I was obsessed with Smosh like that was

What got me into comedy almost with Smosh two guys or two guys and you go back and watch their videos and they're so bad I is are they still in existence? Yeah, now it's like they've turned it into a whole media. Like a channel? Yeah, like a channel. And my friend was actually writing, I'm sure I think it's probably great now. My friend was actually writing for them,

but like their early videos, they were just making on like a little digital camera. I mean, they're like, they're teenagers. Isn't it great when something is like kind of bad and then it turns good? Yeah. like, they're teenagers. Isn't it great when something is like kind of bad and then it turns good? Yeah. Yeah, that is good. It's unusual.

Normally the thing's good and then it gets bad. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they had a book come out. I remember, cause it was in the like discount bin. I was like, who the hell are these guys? And I flipped through and I was like, this book is garbage. It is just a piece of garbage. It was stretching a thing into a book, but I remember it was those guys. Yes the Smosh brothers They'd like emo hair. Yeah, like long emo hair and they would be like

No, you can't do that. Like it was all those are the sketches were just yelling. I was like this is actually the funniest I want to do this. I'm gonna do this. And now I did. Yeah. Thank you Smosh. Cause you're on, you do very well on the TikTok. You're very well on the Instagram. Yeah, he does pretty well.

Yeah, he does. Okay, this guy. But you do like, do you make like a post a day or no? Oh, not a day. Not a day, maybe like a couple a week or once a week. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

That seems sane and sustainable. Yes. Yeah. I think I was trying to do once a day, but then I couldn't come up with anything. I don't have anything to say. I don't need to be doing this every day. That's what I felt like with cartoon strips, that they'd have to come up with seven a week. Yeah. It's like, what the fuck? with like cartoon strips that like they'd have like seven a week yeah like

what the fuck like there's no but some of them were actually good I'm coming hubs our side maybe those are the two yeah yeah I never loved Calvin and no I know everyone my age does it's I mean for me it's now just nostalgia yeah and we had like the big compendiums of them. Oh, sure. And I was like, okay. I didn't, I didn't hate them. No.

Uh. People were gaga for that little boy. They were gagging for it. Yeah. Existential. Yeah, this existential boy. I realized, yeah, those ones, I remember we had, my grandma had like the big books of them.

And I realized, I think what I liked was not necessarily Calvin and we had my grandma had like the big books of them and I realized I think what I Liked was not necessarily Calvin and Hobbes, but just like having something to do at my grandma's house. Yeah I'm not having to talk to her Oh my god, I can do anything but talk to my grandma. How often do you see or did you see your grandma? Uh Like did she live near you? She lived pretty near. Yeah, it was it was like probably like a 40 minute drive or something Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think for anybody out there It's a become a grandparent do your grandchild the service of just leaving them alone Get a big Garfield book. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, one of those rectangle guys. Yeah. Yeah get a big get a you know a

sugary cereal. Yes. A sugary cereal. It'll last you years, because the kids only visit for three days and then they're gone. Don't bother telling them stuff that they did when they were a kid before they were able

to remember things. Don't bother telling them stuff you did as a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Don't tell them that used to be a bank. Don't tell them that somebody used to cost $7. That's what, that like used to, now when I come back to Vancouver,

I'm like just fascinated what's changed. Even like in a year or whatever. How long have you been gone, a year? Yeah, a year and a half. What's changed? Just like random stores. I'm like, oh, that's a new store. I love it.

I just like to- That's a freshy now. Ride the bus, yeah, exactly. That's a freshy and that's a freshy. Mark's Work Warehouse changed their logo. It's like, I don't know, I love exactly. That's a Freshy and that's a Freshy. Marks work warehouse changed their logo. It's like, I don't know, I love it. You're still in Canada. Yeah.

You're in Toronto now and it's snowing so hard back there. Yeah. Did you, were you there for any of it? I was, yeah. I was a total blizzard and all, basically all the flights were canceled, but mine wasn't. Well, they knew you had important business. Yeah, I called Air Canada.

I was like, I'm doing stand-up, so if you could just keep one flight. And they were like, okay, well, send your flight out, but the next flight to Lancer is going to be upside down. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you wanted the flight to be funny. Yeah, I misinterpreted what you said. Until Washington's flying this, the next Delta plane. I can only make that joke because at this time everyone's alive.

That's right. Yeah. But yeah, then I was caught in the blizzard, but my flight was fine, but the subway was down, or wasn't open yet. I didn't realize the subway wasn't open until eight, which seems so late on the front. How are you gonna have a breakfast sandwich? Exactly, yeah, exactly.

I'm supposed to get a cold coke combo. Yeah, I have to get a breakfast Quiznos? Yeah, exactly. Your morning cold coke combo and diet coke. That's how I lost 700 pounds. Yes, and then I, yeah, exactly. Huge jeans. But then I got this, so I lost 700 pounds. Yes, and then I, yeah, exactly. Huge jeans. But then I got this, so I got an Uber.

I got an Uber with this guy that like, I was like, dude, why are you even driving? He was driving, he was so nervous in the snow. We kept stalling and going. Why are you even driving? For money. Yeah, no, I know, but I just mean like, he was just like, I don't know, man.

Like, I'm stressed This is a lot. He was really not inspiring confidence. He's like he wouldn't even go into like yeah, he wouldn't come down my street He's like, can you meet me on them on the main street? It's like I don't want to be in this uber either man I'm sorry. Yeah, and he's the whole time. He's like You know what sometimes they think about just parking this and walking away. Yeah, I know I really was getting that vibe I was like sometimes I think about just parking this and walking away. Yes. I know, I really was getting that vibe. I was like, sometimes I think about driving this into the lake. It's funny how like Toronto, you don't realize that Toronto is the center of the universe in Canada until something like a snowstorm happens.

And then all my emails are like Air Canada being like, get away from the snow. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like, how do you because in Colona, you didn't really have winter winters. Right. I do. It's it's it's a bit more wintery. Yeah. OK. For sure. Yeah. Especially compared to Vancouver. Yeah. But it's like, are you OK? You winter guy?

Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot. I think I prefer it because it's like if it's sunny and snowy, I really like that. Yeah. Yeah. That that. Yeah Yeah, that rock good look but coming here and I think my problem is I just kind of like everywhere like I every time I visit A city. I'm like I should move here. Really? Yeah, I think so I well you let us know when you go to Edmonton. Yeah But I think that I just am like always Like doing something fun. So I'm like, oh, I'm in a good mood. I'm I'm like always like doing something fun. So I'm like, oh, I'm in a good mood.

I'm out and about, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause when I came here, I was like, oh, it's so nice. It's so fresh. And the kind of like just the Pacific Northwest vibe. I was like, oh, I really miss this. Yeah. And the kind of the milder winter.

I was like, oh, this is so nice. But then I go back to Toronto and I'm like, I love the snow. Maybe you're just full of love. I'm just full of love. I love it everywhere. I mean, visiting places is, it's pretty easy to live or go somewhere for three days and be like,

I could live here. Exactly, that's what I mean. I have that problem. I was in Regina last year to do a show and I was like, Regina's awesome. I was like, I think what I like is getting drunk with my friends. Yeah.

That's what I enjoy. It's not Regina that was the fun part of that equation. My job doesn't know I'm here. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, it's a, I didn't mean to dis-Edmonton. I love you guys. You're there, you knuckleheads. No, oh when you said, we'll see how you feel.

I mean, the mall, I mean, you don't really get a full Edmonton Experience until you stay in the mall for 40 Yes Get to come I'm gonna do so much shopping. Yeah. Well, what's shopping you're looking forward to the most? Do they have shops that we don't even have? It's so Undescribable, It's like a color you've never seen before. These stores. Oh, shit, like it's just. You can't even describe it, you know?

It's how do you describe a new color? All right. No, I actually think that, I was looking at the directory. Yeah, I'm pulling it up right now. And there was nothing I was interested in. I don't know what I'm gonna be doing there, but. They have two A&Ws. Oh, well, there you go.

What do they have two of? And Graham, remind me what A&W stands for. No, you remind me what it stands for. No, you remind me. Ampug is a whoopier. They have two Auroras, Aurora Cannabis and Aurora Regular, whatever that is. Nice, Bailey Nelson, you could try on different classes.

They have two bells. I just wanna see what they have multiples of. Two bells. Two bells, so if you need a cell phone. I can get two phones. A Best Buy, a Best Buy Express. Are there any freestanding Berks? Are they always in malls?

Berks, like the- The diamond guy? Yeah, there's one downtown. Oh, okay. I guess I'm just not buying as much jewelry as I used to. Oh yeah. Oh, they got blue notes? Get some jeans.

Yeah. And you need somewhere to party at night? Absolutely. Well, Bubba Gum Shrip is there. Oh, I can't wait for that do you need somewhere to party at night? Absolutely. Well, public upship is there. Oh, I can't wait for that. Definitely gonna go to that. There's a place called Caesar's Bingo. Yeah, there's only one build-a-bear.

This doesn't seem like that many. Like you're scrolling down, you're already at the sea. Yeah, I just feel like it's that big of a mall. There's two CaseLogix, so those are both gonna be. What are these KCIT? CaseLogix, that used to be the name of like the brand that you get your CD folder. Oh yeah.

It's CaseLogix, but now it looks like they do cell phone cases. This is just a cash ATM machine. I love that they're listing that as a store. They've got eight of them now. Wow, okay, I got it. Hey, West End, it's the most challenged. Chick-fil-A, they got a Chick-fil-A.

Ooh, they got three CIBCs. Oh, I bank with them, so that'll be good. That'll be fun. Lots of options. I used to bank with them. They sucked. Not enough stores in the West End with the mall. Yeah, I guess so, yeah.

David's D, they got a David's D. Two DQs. Two DQs, two Dr. Mobiles, two Dream Riders. What's DragonFX? I wonder what DragonFX is. Let's find out. Virtual reality? The ultimate in body art is a Dragon effect. Yeah! Okay.

Tattoos in a safe, hygienic environment. You gotta come back from this trip with a tattoo. You might have a tattoo. Yeah, what if you and your friends all get the West Edmonton logo? The logo, yeah, yeah. Just to remember this feeling. Yes, exactly. Ed's bowling and Ed's karaoke? Ooh, Ed, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 2016. And I've been, I was like, draw me this. I'm gonna wait as long as possible.

And if I still like it, which I do, I'll get it. So I might get it this year, cause I'm turning 30 this year. Oh, congratulations. And so, thank you, I made it. But- You look great, you look great. You feeling great?

Feel great. Nice, good, good, good. But yeah, it's a kind of Grim Reaper holding a coffee mug. Oh, okay. What do you think of that? Should I get that? I love it. Kind of a Grateful Dead-esque looking artwork.

And is this color, is this just black and white? Black and white. What do you think? I like it. All right, maybe I'll get it. Without having seen it, I like it. I would love to see it. That's at all possible Yeah, if we could please get it on my desk

They only have two Starbucks. They're all over TD Bank or TD Bank. Oh TD Bank, they got an old spaghetti factory. Oh that I might do that to rec rooms. You gotta go to rec room What's rec room? It's like, you know axe throwing and video game Oh, no, I do like David Buster's. Rec room comedy shows here. Yes, they did Yeah, I feel like a few comedians were killed by axes They all look comedians going with apples on their head Yes, cuz I did one here and you could when I during my, I was bombing and I could hear the like, ding, ding, ding of the machines.

Yeah. In place of laughter, yeah. I did one at a casino and yeah, they put a curtain around, but you could still hear it was the very specific. The game was a Ghostbusters one. So every minute, it would go, da, da, da, it would go, da-da-da-da-da-da.

No, no. No, no. No, no. My favorite was performing at coffee shops and when you're bombing, you just hear milk frothing. Yes. So loud. Yeah.

In there. In there for sure. Yeah. Is, yeah. I feel like every place is willing to try stand up once. Yes. Yeah. And it's, most of the time, it's awful.

So, yeah. I do love when a new show is starting up and the comedian that is running is like, hey, they're going to be paying all the acts. Yes. Week one. Totally. Or when they're like, we're doing it every week until the end of time.

It's like okay, okay? This will be six months. Yeah, if that don't start an Instagram for this Every week until the weather gets good. Yeah, yeah, or the connect to make the playoffs. Yeah, and then it's like summer hiatus Forever hey guys like they're 50 50 followers. Hey guys, we're taking a break for the summer. It's like nobody is paying attention. No one's going to show up and be like, oh, I thought, I thought my favorite place was good stuff the other year. You guys can't go on haters. It's the summer. I thought the show in the basement of a tattoo parlor was going to last forever.

But it's so hot down here. We have to do it. It's stifling. Yeah. Is, uh, cause that's the thing that still, I mean, I think it's a little bit of a, I mean, I think it's a little bit of a, I mean, I think it's a little bit of a, I mean, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little

bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's a little bit of a, I think it's so hot down here, we have to do it. It's stifling. Yeah, is, because that's a thing that started happening in Vancouver, people paying each other to do the axe, which I'm like, well, we just all keep our money and not do it. But do they do that in Toronto as well? Is this? Yeah, I think most people just try to give like 10 bucks or whatever.

Sure. I think most people just try to give like 10 bucks or whatever. Just like, yeah, but definitely, definitely in Toronto, I feel like there's a lot, like the venues are a lot smaller or something, or like the crowds are a lot smaller for the most part. There's just like so many shows. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I find is like here, the shows are, there's less shows, but they're bigger audiences.

Right. So I don't know, it kinda evens out, wouldn't say one's better than the other, but yeah. You do seven shows a night? Are you one of those you grind in? I definitely don't do seven shows a night, but I do enough. I don't know. What's the most, both of you,

what's the most shows you've done in a night? It probably was seven. Yeah. I think it's one of those where the first one started at like five. It was like a pot smoking one and then it just kept going up a different. In Vancouver? In Vancouver, yeah.

Yeah, I remember I did, most ever it was done as five, I think, and it was, only one of them was actually good. Like it was like, I should have done one show. I would have gone home happy. It was like the one in the middle too. It was like sandwiched between like, I had like bad set, bad set, good set, bad set. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I always say when it comes to shows, my nickname is, oh, you should have been here last week. Yeah, yeah. Always last week. Oh, it was crazy. The crowd was great last week. So great.

I'm sorry there's nobody here to see it. Yeah. Dave, what's going on with you and my friend? Well, we are, you know, we're supposed to be saving money these days. You know, there's- I'm not even buying gas anymore. I'm stealing it from a guy down the street.

I just steal all mine from the truck room at the West End Mall Fantasyland Hotel. I've been siphoning it out of his old... He's had the alarm, it's just like, someone stole the gas from our room. Honey, get him! He runs down the hallway. Going into the igloo room with a jill in the carry can. We gotta stay warm in here!

Over the fire. Yeah, either of them has a little fire pit. That'd be awesome. When they're burning Castle, you know. So like, we're tightening the purse strings. There's a trade war or possible American invasion coming. Yep, we're ready for either and both, anyway. I've got some stuff at work that is not quite

taken a starting up yet. So I've, you know, I have yet to be paid for a couple of things. So this now is the perfect time for my dog to tear her ACL. What? Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Now for, I don't know what an ACL is I've heard that phrase It's a knee ligament kneeling and dogs don't actually have them. They have CCL CCL. That's cuter. Yeah, and they They have BBLs Anyway, yeah. Big beautiful legs. Anyway, yeah, last week I... There was nothing that caused it, but just one day my dog Irma, who's two and a half, just started limping and just wouldn't put any weight on her back leg. One of her back legs. She has two. And we were like, oh no, that looks bad. That looks bricy. Was there whining? Was there whinging? No, it no, that looks bad. Yeah. That looks pricey. Was there whining?

Was there whinging? No, it doesn't seem to hurt. OK. So we took her to the vet and they were like, come back tomorrow. We'll x-ray her. We'll knock her out in x-ray. Yeah, we'll give you a little something. Give you a quick taste.

And so they did that and they're like, yep, it's bad. Oh, shit. But she's not in any pain. Right. Although we do give her a pain medicine every day now. And then we have to meet with the surgeon. Oh Jesus. Yeah, so this is like prime.

This is gonna, yeah, this is gonna financially ruin me. Shit, yeah. I have to sell all my investments, all the stocks I bought in. To Zara. To Zara. To Zara. To sell your Zara clothes.

All my Lashatto. Yeah, my friend's a vet and she's basically gonna retire within two years. Because it's so good. So good. She's like, I'm semi retired already. I'm like, you're semi retired. You're younger than me, what the fuck?

She's eating a burrito every day. They know her at the burrito place. Yeah, the burrito, she gets huge. She's so rich. Biggest burrito place? Yeah, the burrito gets huge. So rich. Biggest burrito you've ever seen. Gwak is extra. Yeah, I can afford it. Make it rain guac.

But anyway, it sucks having dogs. Yeah, yeah. And like, what is the prognosis like? Negative. Oh, shit. Are they doing surgery and then there's like weeks of recovery or is it? So they were like, there's recovery.

And I was like, how long is the recovery? And they go, three months. Three months? Jesus. But they're like, it's active recovery. You don't, I don't know. This was just one phone call. So you're not like, you don't have to confine the dog

in the cage for 23 hours a day or anything. And every week you do more activities. And the cone, how long do they have to wear the cone? I don't know about the cone. Yeah, cone. Is there anything that we've developed that's better than the cone? Feels like somebody would have come up with.

Can they put, it's been around a while. Yeah, can they put that to stuff that's like, for people who would want to stop biting their nails. Oh, like, is it like gross stuff? Put that on the dogs. Dogs love gross stuff. I've done that before. I've tried that.

Will you bite your nails? I do bite my nails, yeah. Have you tried a cone? One more. Yeah. Yeah, I do as well. And I tried to go off and just try to cut them as small as I possibly could.

But then, you know, one just grew a little bit too long. It is, well. Back on the hand, back on the hand, man. I like them short. Short? Yeah, I try to do that. And then the couple days afterwards, it's like a pain in the ass to like,

if you have to like, you know, open a tough container. Yes, it actually hurts. And then, oh, boy. And then sometimes now that I'm, you know, I'm going to be 30 this year. Congratulations. And now my nails grow at different speeds. Like I'll cut them all one day and then just the indexes are. Oh, wow. Yeah. grow at different speeds. Like I'll cut them all one day and then just the indexes are just growing.

Oh wow, yeah. Yeah, I just know that once in a while one will get a little too long and then there's a part of me that's like, let's see how long you could get. Yes. But there's no glory in that growing up. Did you ever get, have someone bully you and ask, hey, tell you to look at your nails? And there was like one, if either this way or this way is the gay way of doing it.

Oh yes. Which, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. We've no matter what I do. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they're both. I'm just naturally very graceful. Yeah. I checked them one time, one at a time.

Yeah, we didn't think of that. We grew up in a very, here's how I know you're gay. Yeah. Era. Yeah. It's all very arbitrary, it seemed. Yeah. I mean, I kind of feel like there was one thing that would make you gay.

Yeah, exactly. But there was a big list in high school. Yeah. Yeah. High school wasn't the best. I think we all agree. Unless, did you love high school? Well, I went to the West Edmonton mall Yeah, I remember being like

Wearing a plaid shirt like this kind of the shirt you're wearing just a plaid shirt Regular getting called gay for that for a plaid shirt for a plaid shirt and you're much younger than we are. Yeah Huh? wearing glasses Well, I mean you can't make it easy for him by wearing glasses. Yeah. That's on you, man. Yeah.

Yeah. That's on me. That's on me. Wearing glasses like Judy Garland herself. Yeah. Um. Anyway, been going to the vet a lot lately. I'm sorry to hear it, this sounds awful.

The vet, our vet is great. We love our vet. And they're all like, they get so excited when our dogs get there. They're like, I don't know if they treat everyone this way, but they really love our dogs like all the vet techs. And the, but there was a new vet tech who was like, when I brought Irma home, it was like giving me, okay, don't feed her until this time. After midnight, don't get her wet. Don't get her wet. But, and then after this, you can give her food.

And so as I was walking, she was like, oh, just one more thing. And then like crouched down and gave the dog like 20 kisses. Oh. You're gonna be okay. You never get that from the like regular dog. Yeah, the woman at the desk on the dock where you watch. Yeah, what's your availability like in six months?

And let's make out really quick. Yeah, my dentist keeps sending me texts, it's the time, now's the time. My dentist has moved me to every four months. Oh, okay, quarterly. I'm gonna, no, not quarterly, thirdly. Oh, thirdly, yeah, sorry. Thirdly.

But I'm gonna cancel this, and I'm gonna be, come on, this is your choice to make me every four months. Yeah make me every six every four months yeah yeah you know what they're doing I love my dentist though again I'm just getting like all these medical professionals in my life for the greatest I had the best dentist then she left so now I'm just going to the place where she used to work mmm oh which I have no affection for whatsoever but it's they already have my chart face yeah yeah you've got your Used to work? Oh. Which I have no affection for whatsoever, but they already have my chart face. Yeah. Yeah.

You've got your, you love your foot doctor too. So funny. I wish I had a foot problem every year so I could go visit them in here. Oh, I can give you a foot problem. No, no, no. Hold still. I'm gonna put your foot in the pencil sharpener.

That makes you gay. If you're putting your foot in the pencil sharpener. That makes you gay if you're putting your foot in a pencil sharpener. Well, what happens if you can fit your hand over your face? Smack. Yeah. Anyway, so dog stuff is great. I recommend getting two dogs so they can both get injured at the same time.

Is Monster okay? Monster's great. And if this was happening to Monster, they might, they were like, there's like a weight threshold. Like if your dog is a certain weight, they might not have to do it. Oh, I see.

But Irma is just so big and powerful. She's got the powerful legs. We didn't like even witness any kind of, like she doesn't run around off leash or anything. And she didn't ever have like a moment where she was like, ah, there goes the ACL. Yeah, that's, yeah, cause at a certain point in everyone's life, just things stop working.

Yeah, usually it happens when you're- You're fine cause you're 30. You've got quite a while to go before, or do you have something where you're like, like my finger's all fucked up now. because you're 30, you've got quite a while to go before, or do you have something where you're like, like my finger's all fucked up now? Yeah, like my back, I really need to start stretching. Yeah, that's me too.

Yeah, I've been trying to do that, but it's impossible. I don't want to. Yeah, it's so hard. It's literally impossible. It's one of the hardest things on earth to want to do. I don't get to want to do. Yeah. I didn't want to do it exactly. No, I hate it.

I was doing yoga like multiple times a week. Oh nice. And then I just got so bored of it. Yeah. And now I just do my favorite stretch. Child's pose. Is that where you just lie down on the floor? Lie down face down but with your knees apart.

Oh, that sounds pretty good. I'm gonna try that as soon as I get home. On a bed tonight when I'm trying to go back. And try to hump the bed. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, like my back, I don't know. I've been sore lately. I'm like, I gotta stretch.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's the beginning. It's the beginning. Yeah, I feel like I should stretch too. Everybody thinks they should and don't, and same with going to the dentist, you know? You tell them you're gonna do this and that, you're not.

Yeah. People still go to the dentist's camp. No, not this guy. Dentists are closing left and right because people say they're gonna go, but they never do. Dentists hate this new technique. Not showing up.

Dentists hate it when you missed your appointment. During COVID, people realized we don't actually need to go to the dentist. That's right, exactly. Talk about your non-essential services. You just, so you get yourself one of those small mirrors, you can take out basically all the work that they do. Yeah.

Yeah, you got a hole in your tooth, you know, to fill the local drywall. Cause now they do, they'll just paint on the fluoride. Yeah. But I liked when they used that rubber rotating thing that would oh I hated that. I loved it. Oh really? Yeah, I liked the trays. I missed the trays Oh the trays trays was like it's it's just a moment where you could totally you can't do anything else You can't you're just sitting there enjoying the moment trying not to swallow

This bubble gum flavored. That's when I get my best ideas. My best ideas when I have the trays. Where did bubble gum flavor come from? Bubble gum, I'm guessing. But did that- Big Wrigley's. Did that flavor profile exist before? Yeah.

Cause what was the first one, like double bubble? I mean, whatever was like- What was the first gum? Probably whatever they were, you know. Like- Big league chew. Didn't gum start existing because they needed to like sell baseball cards?

Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I have no idea, but I love the stuff. I can't get enough gum. Like, yeah, what's the origin of gum? Was it the, was it an alternative to chewing tobacco? It was probably something, yeah. Oh, that makes a lot of sense, yeah.

Or like something that, you know, travelers or whatever would find, because it comes from trees. The original stuff does. Oh, yeah, yeah. So maybe they just like chewed on it and it was just fun to chew. Did the Wright brothers invent it? your ears are going to pop? Yeah. Either way, no matter which way we do,

these ears are going to pop. Yeah, I don't know. I could look into it, but. Please look into it. Yeah. But I just don't have time, you guys. It was so much stretch. My Wikipedia only does malls. Yeah. I'm sure that you have to pay now to get out of one topic. so much stretch. My Wikipedia only does malls. Yeah.

Well, I'm sure that you have to pay now to get out of one topic. I know. You get one thing. Yeah. And then you gotta pay for the rest. Graham's a Wikipedia donor. Yeah, I donate to it. Oh, nice.

Because I feel like it's a website that I use every single day. So. Yeah. I always, I feel guilty whenever I see that guy's face. Yeah. I just scroll right by him. Yeah. You don't feel that guilty. No, actually I get a little bit of pleasure out of just scrolling.

I don't have to look at you. They should have a feature on the site as like as the face goes up the article as you're scrolling, he should get sadder and sadder. Yeah. And then he's scrolling up and he starts smiling and then he goes sad again. Like a hologram.

Yes. So we're in dog health hell and what's going on with you? This past week as of this recording was Valentine's Day. Oh yeah. Popular amongst the hallmark folks, the flowered FTD, they love it. Bought some pizza. Bought some pizza, exactly, heart shaped pizza.

Nirvana. Nirvana, hot tubs that are shaped like our hearts. These are all big beneficiaries of the big day, February 14th. And I was- Do you have like a favorite heart emoji that you send to your loved one? Oh, that's a good one. Do you do the heart eyes, the cat heart eyes, the just regular heart, brown heart?

I think I do just regular heart now that I think of it. I mean, unless it's something sad and I do broken heart yeah oh man maybe I'll just make that my regular no matter what people say to send them back. You're killing me. Oh you want to get a lunch with me? What are you listening to? Cheers in heaven. Oh shit. Yeah, the, I had a show on Valentine's Day, I had a show at a very fancy place called the Vancouver Club,

which is, you ever heard of it? No. The members only like, is it like leather chairs and? Yeah, one floor is like totally like. It's in the West End? No, it's on like Hastings Street near Granville Oh shit. Okay. It's you'd walk right past if you didn't know like it doesn't have a big sign or anything, but And like the the membership fees is like some crazy. Yeah, $15,000 a year or something like that

Which I mean I'd be like well I could save up and just do a month. I could do a month of the year. Can I just have one month and come in? Do you guys do dog surgery? And someone was saying, because it used to be men only, and then they decided to open it up to women, except, and I don't know if this is true at all, but I was told that there's still a floor that is men's only.

Oh, sure. Well, I think there's probably a bathroom a floor that is men's only. Oh, sure. Well, I think there's probably a bathroom in anyway that's men's only. Yeah. They're pretty old fashioned in that way. Oh, they're bathrooms. No paper towel, just cloth towel that you throw in a hole that's in a hamper.

That's nice. Yeah. I was picturing the cloth. Oh, God. That thing, what is that thing called? The paper, like the dispenser that is the cloth. Yeah, the god, that thing. What is that thing called? The paper, like the dispenser, that's the cloth. Yeah, cloth dispenser with the, just like. Yeah, what is the deal with that?

Yeah. That was a weird, that was weird. That was strange, but I like having just a towel that you just talk, there's something so satisfying with tossing it in the laundry. Yeah. You're like, done. It does feel like very high end.

Yeah. That they would have this. Also they had like a mouthwash there that you could try out. And a bubblegum flavor. Was this a show for members? This was a show for members, but they had to like buy a ticket to the show. Oh, okay, so they put on a thing. This is like the Valentine's day, bring your loved one.

Or yeah, your wife or mistress? I did a joke about mistress killed. Oh, great. I was like, there might be a guy here with a mistress. Ah, they all laugh. Pretty much. It's true. It's confirming what I thought.

Ah, he knows us, he gets us. Who put this show on? It's a guy named Terry that I knew. He did stand up like a million years ago and he's a member there. So I've done this gig a couple of times, but this time was, they kind of had it all really together in a way that they had all the, they had the sound system and they had a sound guy that was like a rock and roll sound guy.

He was wearing a leather jacket and leather vest rather. And like he probably just he had to move like two knobs and then that was it. Like he didn't do anything. They don't do anything even at rock and roll shows. Yeah. They fight with the guitarist who turns up his amp. Yeah. He was talking to me after he was talking about he's in a band and I was like,

I don't want to have this conversation. Showbiz, right? How many comics? There was myself, there was Pascals Rachel Schaeffer, Pascals Mark Chavez. Oh, doing what? Doing stand up? No, they did a little improv.

Oh. And they did the thing and man, it destroyed. Like it's, they did a little improv. Oh. And they did the thing, and man, it destroyed. Like it's, they get a person out of the audience, you get them to make the sound effects, you start telling the story, they make the sound effects, leveled the place. People loved it. And there was this guy, I love this guy.

Cause they make fun of the guy, they do like the wrong, they say he's doing a bad job. Or you know, you do the same sound effect for every single, which was her thing, she did a lot of like, ping, ping, ping. It was like text message sound. Yeah, that works, they play guitar, right? That one string, yeah.

I like that, nice. And there was a guy there, I was told before the show, that they were like, oh, there's a guy you should point out and make fun of, his name's Brad. And I was like, what, why? And she's like, he hates being here. His wife's a member, she drags him here once a year. He wears jeans, he's not supposed to wear jeans. He wears jeans, he takes off his baseball cap

but only puts it on the loop of his belt. And... Uh... Wait, what is that? He calls everyone a varmin. But yeah, he hates it and he won't follow the rules. I guess they think enough of her to have her be in charge of him. But uh... It sounds like a corporate gig where it was like, make fun of the boss.

Yeah, that's what it was. And I was like, what's going to be so funny about making fun of this guy? And then I did. Killed. And he stood up, he was like, that's what it was. And I was like, what's gonna be so funny about making fun of this guy? And then I did, killed. And he stood up, he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, he liked that. Yeah, he loved it. And then afterwards, we were standing waiting for an Uber and he walked out, he's like, I'm glad to be out.

Like, he hopped in the cab, he's like, see you then. Putting the hat back on, oh, this feels great. I remember in high school, so there's two downtown social clubs that are like a fancy, super expensive ones. One's called the Vancouver Club, one's called the Terminal City Club. Oh, cool.

And I remember a guy in my high school was like, his dad belonged to one of them? I forget which one, because I couldn't tell you what the difference is. But he was like, oh, well, the people in the Vancouver Club own everything in the city, but people in the terminal city club run the whole city. And I was like, what's better?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it might've been, I might've had those backwards, I don't know. I feel like we run this city as a, that sounds like it's more, but owning the city. Well, did he run the city? Not anymore. Why what happened? He got fogled. I

Was thinking of him. I was just thinking those pants. What happened those pants the fogal pants? Yeah the fogal pants They would be in style now Just like such a big belt I'm like a winter oversized. Just like such a big belt to like get it all. Um. You're talking about a sound guy. I had a funny thing. I went to a Beach Boys tribute band.

Awesome. It was great. Oh, what were they called? The Cocovo Five? The Beach Men. No. Yeah. That's pretty good.

They were funny. They were young. They were like younger guys, like in their 30s. That's like a first draft. It is it is Yeah, we should just do a we should have a Beach Boys cover brand called the Beachmen. Yeah, which also just sounds like a Band yes, Beach. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like a worse name than the Beach Boys, you know, but they were great. I mean I Yeah, my friend was a fan. took me it was really fun they were awesome but I was standing around next to the sound guy and at a certain point the sound guy looked over me he goes hey I really need

your help he goes the bassist mic is off can you go I have to man the board can you go up on stage and tell the bassist that his mic is off I'm like okay and he's like please I'll buy you a drink Well, you know we go way back so anything for you. Yeah, so I was like, okay So I went up on stage and everyone's looking at me like what the fuck are you doing? And my friend was like I thought you went insane And I went to the bassist and I said hey your mic's off. He went what? Why are you up here? So the sound guy told me said hey your mic's off. He went what? Why are you up here? So the sound guy told me that your mic is off and they're like ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba

ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba He was so happy that I did it and he bought me a beer and I was like, this is crazy. That is crazy. I was like, yeah, what a request. It's so funny. And then I was standing and then I just stood next to him the whole show, the sound guy.

Because that's like a real band. They have security to keep people off stage, but they also probably have monitors to tell people your microphone's off. Yeah. But like, yeah's off. Yeah, yeah. But like, yeah, good for you, man. You saw the dangerous assignment? You took it. I took it, I took it.

Yeah, you're all right. That's what the sound guy said after. You're all right, kid. I go up to the band afterwards and like, so I kind of saved the day, didn't I? Like, you ruined that song. The bassists, but yeah, the bassist, Mike, who I don't think I could tell the difference when it was on or off yeah

it's a why do they have mics that turn on and off I don't know the one mic yeah there was a professional guy there too and the one mic kept cutting out and I was like this is the one thing yeah yeah that's crazy when there is a tech person and they're like they look at at you like, I don't know. We're like, what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah, so it was, yeah, it was a lot of fun. Brad was great.

The show was really fun. And like, I went there to meet this guy that was putting on the show, like a couple of months ago, and I walked in just wearing like jeans and a hat, and this guy couldn't have been on me fast enough. He's like, oh, what are you, like, oh, what are you doing in here? What place do you think this is? Are you here to fix something?

Yeah. But yeah, it was, and then we went to the bar and it's a bar where you can keep your own bottle in like a, a locker. Yeah. I thought that was a pretty fancy. Well, is that fancy or is it less fancy to have to bring your own bottle?

That's weird. Yeah, right? Like, just drink at home. That's where all your bottles are. Although sitting one of those big leather seats, they're pretty good. Yeah, pretty nice. They got big screen in there, you know,

they're showing, what was it, something American, and the guy asked to turn it off when they sang the anthem, and it was a whole hullabaloo. Yeah, we're having a big anthem protests. Yeah, which of the two do you think is a better song to dance to? Oh, to dance to?

I vote Canada and the Star-Spangled Banger. Star-Spangled Banger's a total banger. I don't know. Star-sprang bangers a total banger. I don't know. Our home and native. As opposed to oh, say, can you see. As long as they're fast. Yeah, they're both good.

Yeah. Okay. Well, we'll we'll never know which one's better, but. You guys ever seen the Frey do this? Starspring, a little banner? That video of them? No. It's really funny.

Who's the Frey again? What's their song? They do, how to save a life, where did I go wrong? And they do this like morose. Is this what you would sing in youth group? Yeah, probably, definitely. I don't know that either, they were good, but there's one, Monaco has an anthem and they haven't been a country for very long, so they have a lyric about the fancy sports cars that they have

in Monaco. Oh, cool. Oh, nice. Yeah, like, our gorgeous women and our fancy sports cars, like, this album rules. This anthem is the best. But yeah, played the club, got away with it, met Brad. Mm-hmm, got away with it. Oh, and yeah, like the, all of us were like,

oh, do we have to pay for a drink or whatever? And the lady like looked at me like, like you're at the Vancouver club, you don't have to pay for alcohol. You bring your own bottle. Yeah, it depends, did you bring your own bottle? Yeah. All we serve here is ice and olives.

Yeah. Anyways, had a blast. Do you guys wanna move over to some over herds? Sure. Walking About is the podcast about walking. It's a walkumentary series where I, Alan McLeod, and a fun friendly guest go for a walkabout. You'll learn about interesting people and places and have the kind of conversations you can only

have on foot. We've got guests like Lauren Lapkus I figured something out about this map like how to read it Betsy Sodaro I had no clue that's awesome and nuts John Gabras This is like great first date for like broke 20 somethings, you know and more Check out walking about with Alan McLeod on Maximum Fun Hello podcast recommendations service.

Young man, I'm looking for a new podcast to listen to something amusing perhaps. Oh, what about beef and dairy network? Something surreal and satirical? Well, I would suggest beef and dairy network. Ideally, it would be a spoof industry podcast for the beef and dairy industries. Yes, beef and dairy network. Maybe it would have brilliant guests such as Josie Long, Heather Ann Campbell, Nick Offerman and the actor Ted Danson.

Beef and dairy network. I don't know. I think I'm going to stick to Joe Rogan. The beef and dairy network podcast is a multi award winning comedy podcast and you can find it at maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Overheard. Overheard's where if boy oh boy, if you hear them, boy oh boy, we want to hear them too. And we always start with the guest, Ethan, do you have an overheard? I do.

I was, I went and saw the movie, Baby Girl. Oh yeah, okay. Did you see that alone? Yes. I saw it with my girlfriend, but okay, so watching the movie, like a maddening, if you don't know, the general premise is that it's a boss hooks up with their intern,

is kind of the premise. And at a certain point in the movie, it's like a steamy scene, and this old guy in the very front row, he gets up, he like looks back at the whole audience and he goes, this is the stupidest movie I've ever seen. And the whole audience laughs. It all cracked up, Everyone found it funny.

And then the best part was he grabbed his walker and he was so slow to get out of the theater. So I was just watching this guy go so locked up. He couldn't leave on a high note. He had no option. He had no option. And then it was like all these, it was a lot of old people in the theater. It was like a mad day. And then, and then it was like all these, it was a lot of old people in the theater,

it was like a mad day. And then as we were leaving, I heard these people behind us go, ah, they shouldn't have let the company let them have that relationship. It's like, well, yeah, that's the whole point. That's what the movie's about. Why didn't they show anything in the HR department? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's what the movie's dealing with.

Is it steamy or is it just a little bit steamy? It's not, you'd expect it to be steamier. Yeah. I would say, yeah. Did you, have you seen it? No, but I think it's the same as the Red Hulk scenario where he's in one scene. I want it to be redder. Yeah, exactly.

But yeah, I'm trying to think. Oh yeah, there was one time when Saw first came out, I went and saw Saw in the theater. And then at like 20 minutes, half an hour in, somebody in the audience just in a silent presence, I'm skilled. And everybody lost their mind. We couldn't stop laughing.

One time I started a live, when I went and saw the Batman, like the Robert Patterson one, the most recent one, there's a moment where like the Riddler's doing like a live stream and it's like he's doing, he's like live streaming his evil, whatever he's doing. And he starts his like video thing and he's like, hey guys. And I started laughing and then the whole theater

started laughing. I started a laugh chain reaction, but he's like, hey guys, I've got the city. I started a lot of change the action, but he's like hey guys. I've got the city Yeah, I'm hostage or whatever, but he starts it in that classic like I'm starting a don't forget to like This video is sponsored by Casper mattresses. Yeah, yeah. Dave, do you have an overheard? No. What?

I've been so, so low on overheard. Yeah, me too. So this is an overseen and it sucks. This absolutely sucks. I think I may already have done the one I have, so don't worry about it. I was, I parked my car and was going to the pet store. And as I got out of my car, I saw a store

that I had parked next to that had like a bunch of like kitchen or dining room stuff and fancy stuff. And it had, it has fine linens and the name of the store is Finolino. Ooh, Finolino. And I just imagine the owner being like, well, we sell fine linens, Finolino. It's Italian for fine linen.

Yeah, should we start selling linoleum as well? Yeah, I love, because it sounds like a name, Finolino, sounds like a- Sounds like Fido Dido. Fido Dido. God, where'd that guy go? Where are his pants? Did he wear pants, Fido Dido Fido Dido where'd that guy go where where his pants I didn't wear pants I don't know you're sure you're too young for Fido Dido do he was a 7-up spokesman okay yeah no he was a little

drawing of a cool guy he's the coolest guy I'm actually surprised that I haven't seen somebody wearing a Fido Dido shirt. I want one that's yeah Yeah, fully wear that because it's like, you know, like I saw somebody wearing us Stussy Stussy shirt today. Oh there they never went away. Oh, didn't they? Yeah. Also, I saw juicy couture from Susie to juicy We got a book that's we're naming this stuff. I saw someone today wearing a t-shirt with former Canadian Reform Party leader Preston Manning on it.

So he's sort of the Fido Dido of the West. I'm going to pull up Fido Dido here. I think it was Fido Dido. It'll be Fido Dido. Let's see if you remember. Oops, I looked up Fido FIFO. But yeah, that's what he was like kind of a... Okay, it looks kind of familiar actually.

Kind of like a stick man. Yeah. It kind of a, okay, it looks kind of familiar actually. Kind of like a stick man. Yeah. It kind of looked like the cheese string. Yeah, it does. Yeah. Kind of does look like the cheese string guy. They were probably really influenced by Fido Dido.

And there was a video game, remember? Well, every 7UP spokesperson has had a video game. Awesome. There was some pretty good cool spot video games. Cool spot, yeah, shit. This is just a real stroll down memory lane. Anyway, do you have an overheard? I do, but I don't know if I've done a poor,

but we'll see. I may not remember. So usually whenever I take Ubers downtown, we always go over the same bridge. It can be Street Bridge, which is under construction sucks and there's a one of the company's names is Graham that's in the name of the construction company yeah we've seen this we've had this over yeah well finish it for everybody doesn't hurt it not not once not twice three times. When I've been driving by it,

the drivers turned around and said, that's you. Oh! Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, which I was like, you retained my name from all the way there, all the way here. It's tricky. Pretty good.

If English isn't your first language, where's that H? But as soon as somebody tells me their name, it's gone. Yeah. Yeah. Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the world. If you want to send one in, send it into sbyatmaximumfun.org.

And please do, because you know what? Sometimes I go through little dry spells with the overheards that are sent in. So if you have one, even if you think it's on the bubble, send it along. And if you've already sent it in before and you can't remember whether you sent it in before, it doesn't stop Graham from doing the same over here.

Exactly. I wish I had another over here, but- Hey, I wish I had a million, man. This first one comes from Forest in Chicago. On a flight from Chicago to Seattle, I sat behind an elderly man and a woman probably in her early 20s, the original odd couple these two. The man started chatting up a storm as soon as she sat down and continued uninterrupted for hours. I was busy managing a cranky three

year old but every time I checked in on a conversation he dropped a non sequitur jam. And the first one was she's a blonde blue eyed blue-eyed surfer, but she had to give it up. Which sounds hard. Yeah, exactly. The blue eyes? Yeah.

And another one was, so the horse and I had irreconcilable differences. And that's why I'm divorced from that horse. Everybody warned me, everybody said, don't get married to a horse. But those are the two. Yeah. I find this thing with horses is like,

I can lead them to water. But then for like, it's anybody's guess. Yeah, what's your success rate? Yeah. This next one comes from Sarah in Bendigo, Australia. Wow, that sounds authentic. Yeah, and it's, I gotta, they probably have shrimp on the barbie down there.

Feels like the type of place they would probably be. They probably watch Hugh Jackman's Australia. Is that Nicole Kidman too? Uh, oh, possibly. It's not quite as steamy as, what is it? Baby girl. I've never seen that one. She should change her name to Nicole Boy, It's not quite as steamy as What is it baby girl? She's changed her name to Nicole boy because what is a boy if not a kid man? All right

All All this bumper sticker talk recently reminded me of a bumper sticker that lives in infamy among my friends It's really good years ago. I saw a car with a bumper sticker that simply said, born horny. That's great. Yeah, born horny is a great, it's a new twist. I mean, in the honk if. Yeah. I don't, yeah, it almost feels like you're like,

just like, I'm giving up. I'm born horny, I'm gonna stay the way I'm gonna rest my life. Born horny, I'll the rest my life what the fuck am I doing I want this to do really like pick up steam I want this to become a very popular bumper sticker so then I can move in with my horn Borny yeah it's a picture of Jason Bourne honking a horn. This last one comes from Rebecca C. This is from around 1990 when I was in high school in Roseburg, Oregon. My friend and I were hanging out in the Musicland store at the mall and she overheard an old

couple who were flipping through the poster rack. The woman said, look, it's Edward Scissorhands. The man sounding puzzled said, no, no, it says the cure? No. Yeah. Similar hair, similar hair. They were the Edward Scissorhands of music. Yeah. Yeah. He's still around.

He still looks really spooky. Oh, yeah. Tim Burton looks less spooky as time's going on. His hair is not quite as wacky and he's, same with Russell Brand, you know what I mean? It's these iconic messy haired. Danny Elfman who did all the music, I think is spooky now.

Oh, he's spooky now. Yeah, he's getting spookier. He's muscly now. Oh, he is very muscly. Oh yeah, he really is. And he did like some crazy solo at some music festival. I don't know, man. I can't keep up. I can't keep up.

Too spooky. In addition to over-hearts that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, spy pod one like these people have. Hi, my name is Will from Madison, Wisconsin and I'm calling in an over-heard. like these people have. he got killed by a stampede at a petting zoo. And as soon as he said that, the whole audience broke out laughing

and Rosie had this look on her face like, no, no, quit it, it's not a joke. Because it wasn't a joke, the woman's husband actually died from a stampede at a petting zoo. And it was very cringe, but also sadly funny. Yeah, thanks guys. If you die in a funny way,

that's gotta be hard for your relatives. Yeah. So like, wasn't there a guy, maybe in the 90s, that died from an elephant, like, shitting all over his head? Jeez. I feel like this is a real thing. Yeah.

But can you imagine like, huh, you know, before Glenn got into being a zookeeper, we were all so excited for him. Yeah. You can't bring that up with the eulogy. So died in a petting zoo. Like oh yeah, my husband died in a stampede in a petting zoo. Like that is okay. Yeah.

Like a- Lambs, piglets. I tell ya, I tell ya, my husband, he died. Like it seems like a setup. You gotta, just say he died in a stampede, right? Don't say petting zoo. Yeah, why so stupid? Yeah.

And so hilarious. I tell ya- Typically calm, tiny animals, yeah. It's cute. I tell ya, my husband was so small. Yeah. Yeah. I tell you, my husband was so small. All right, next one. Hey, stop podcasting yourself.

So I was driving the other day and I was watching this guy walk his Shiba Inu. And then all of a sudden he just yanked it up by the harness. And I was like, what the hell is this guy doing to his dog? And I kind of slowed down and was watching him. And he lifted the dog up to a window in the apartment building he was walking by and there was another she, but you knew in the window and he made them like, say hi to each other and like wave at each other.

All right, off I go. Lulululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululul This is another view. Do you even know that? Do you understand what I'm doing at all? I've had three dogs in my life as an adult and only one of them like recognizes dogs on TV. Oh yeah. And I was like, oh, that's so cool. But it turns out it's so annoying. Because we can't watch, like I can't be watching a show at night hoping like no one wakes up.

Yeah. Oh God, this. Can't watch Milo and Odin. I hope there's no dogs in Milo and Otis. Yeah. All right, here's your final phone call. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is a vet in Detroit calling in an overheard.

I was just in the locker room at my gym and there's a big musty guy next to me talking on his cell phone. And I just hear him say, yeah, we went together, but that was like a month ago. And he sounded so disappointed and he said, the fun, the fun, you're not supposed to go to Dairy Queen every day. It's a little treat. You're supposed to go once a month, Mac.

Off I go. Left us hanging in suspense there for a second. Yeah, that's not true, right? You're not supposed to go once a month. You can go- You're supposed to? You can go as many times as you want, it's fine. But your doctor isn't like, you gotta go at least once a month.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that brings us to- What do you like at Dairy Queen? Do you like Dairy Queen? Yeah, yeah, what do you like? Oh, I like Dairy Queen. I like a Blizzard.

I always liked the strawberry cheesequake. Okay, nice. Blizzard. I haven't seen it in a while, but I might go score Blizzard, or just regular cone. Score Blizzard's good. Score sticks in my teeth too much, though. Ah, what's your favorite?

I don't have a favorite. I have all favorites. But they don't have it anymore, but they have the peanut butter, O' favorites. But they don't have it anymore, but they have the peanut butter O'Henry was good for awhile. Oh yeah. Some of the Reese's ones are good. I had a Turtles one the other day,

maybe tomorrow I'll get the Mint Oreo. I like the ones where they put a little bit of the goo in the middle. They'll add some peanut butter goo or something. That's, they're constantly innovating. But they're very expensive. I don't remember them being so expensive. They're like, the cheapest ones,

like the kids size ones are like 450. Really? Yeah. And then it only goes up from there. Yeah. It'd be weird if it didn't. The more you order, the cheaper it gets. Nathan, thank you for being our guest.

Of course, thanks for having me. I wish you nothing but luck at West Edmonton Mall. I hope you get the queen bed. I hope I do too, at least for one night. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not gonna though, you got, who's your friend who's organizing it? He's getting it.

Dad's getting the bed for sure. Yeah, that's fine, you got who's your friend who's organizing it? He's getting in the bed for sure Yeah, yeah, that's fine. Be resigned to it. Yeah, you won't you'll be too excited to sleep. So it doesn't matter Yes, exactly. I'm like I get a wink of shut eye Now you make very hilarious shorts and little Their cargo shorts, yeah, yeah lots of pockets You make very hilarious shorts and little skits. They're like little skits. They're cargo shorts.

Yeah, yeah, lots of pockets. But where can people, because all your stuff is very funny. I always enjoy everyone that I see. Thank you. Where can people find you to see those such things? Yeah, you can just Nathan Hare, H-A-R-E on Instagram. Nathan Hare, nice on TikTok.

Post them all on both those platforms. Nice. And your podcast, Corporations Are Awesome. Yeah. How is weekly? Weekly. What? Weekly, every week.

Every week. So check that out. New corporations, go check it out. I'm going to listen to it. I'm going to see what I think. I'm going to see if I can dream up what corporation I like the best. Yeah, that's what I'll tell you. But also, now Yum Foods is in the mix.

Anyway, there's a lot. Yes, Yum Foods would be a great one. Yeah, do Yum Foods and then I'll listen to that one. Yum Brands. Amazing. Yum Brands. Sorry, Yum Brands. Yum Brands.

Well, thank you very much. Thank you, everybody out there for listening. If you have a smaller mall in your town, go visit it. The malls are starting to fall apart. We need you to go know, the malls are starting to fall apart. We need you to go hit the mall. Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.