Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 885 - Darcy Boon Collins

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Comedian Darcy Boon Collins joins us to talk diners, earthquakes, and puppets.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 885 of Stop Climbing As You Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and I'll be doing a show in Toronto March 16th at the Comedy Bar called Instagram. It's a fantastic show based on everyone's Instagram account.

I'd love to see you there. And with me as always is a man who, um, he's got a funky little mug that I didn't see at first, but it's kind of like a star-shaped handle. Mr. Dave Schumka. Yeah, this is a, my mug has got a star-shaped handle. It says Dad Idea, right? It's based on Olivia Rodrigo. It's a dad mug for Olivia Rodrigo fans.

Of which we are both. We are both huge Liv Rod fans. Yeah, we stan, we stan. Although Sabrina Carpenter is apparently the object of her scorn and we sure do love that Sabrina Carpenter. Yeah, you know, I'm not taking a side in this. Not for us to decide. This is Taylor and Katy Perry.

I like them both. We just love art. More art. Create your art. Create your art. And you know what? I hope your bad relationships make great songs. Absolutely. Our guest today, first time guest on the podcast,

very funny comedian. He's got a wicked ass shirt on today that's been all the rage. And it's so great to have him here. It's Darcy Boone Collins. Hello. Aloha. Hi.

Hi, how are you? I'm good. I'm so good. Darcy, hello, welcome aboard. We just talked about your shirt. It says bonds off Broadway. That is, is a little cafe on. Oh, can I guess?

You can, you can guess. It's a greasy spoon. Yes. Off of, uh, off Broadway, but on Nanaimo. Yeah. Okay. Nice. Yeah.

Yeah. But it's when I was, I was getting ready to attack you. If you got it wrong, I was getting ready. I, it's balling. Was that where, um, how was's when I was getting ready to attack you if you got it wrong. I was getting ready. I eat all I was that where How was it John Collins or Stefan heck when I did their podcast one of them lives like Kitty corner or lived kitty corner from bonds off-broadway delicious. What a delicious scenario. It is a good area I used to live near there. Yeah. Yeah, three dollar breakfast man. Can't beat it. We were talking about what do you get for three dollars? one Yeah. Yeah. $3 breakfast, man. Can't beat it. We were talking about. What do you get for $3?

One egg. Well. Two eggs, two very small eggs. Four pieces, four like wedges of toast. Two very small eggs. Two small eggs. How? Two.

Human eggs. Frog eggs. But like. Frog eggs. Two quails eggs. Cause they do sell eggs in small, I don't know. I'm gonna go ahead and assume two small eggs from two very sick chickens. But like in the grocery store,

if you're baking or anything, you're required to use large eggs. The grocery store will sell you medium or extra large and large, I've never seen small. So imagine a chicken that's like, it's just kind of like. As it coughs the egg goes up. Yeah, you know,

the chicken's kind of smoking a cigarette. And like, it's not doing great. We didn't get it. Didn't read the surgeon general's warning. We did read the warning. Poor thing. Can't read. We were talking about the power of a local brands, uh, merch and we're talking about a

store in town, Mr. Mattress, Mr. Mattress, you know, Mr. Mattress logo. Yeah. Iconic here. I didn't know they have tons of merch and all sorts of stuff. Of course they do. Yeah. Mattress. You know Mr. Mattress logo. Yeah. Iconic here. I didn't know they have tons of merch and all sorts of stuff.

Oh, of course they do, yeah. They're ordering the merch market. It's the no flip or mattress or is it a flip? No. Double-sided. Double-sided I think. Yeah, so it is a flip mattress. I think that's his whole thing is he's like,

if you're getting the mattress with one side, you're getting ripped off my friend. But this logo is a mattress with arms and legs that's like kicking back and relaxing. It's a very good mascot. Yes. There were, let's a very good mascot. Yes. There were, let's get to know us. Sure.

Get to know us. The thing about all these stores with merch, these local stores with merch is sometimes the merch comes after the store is kaput and it's just a nostalgic thing. Yeah. We were talking about that too. Okay. Like someone with an A and B sound shirt. Exactly. I would, I would be hyped if I saw that though.

Sure. Yeah. And what, what is the one, what's the chicken one? I have that one, the chicken one. There was a cross on Main Street. Yeah. And I was telling him, I got one of the last. But what was the brand? What was the circle? It's not finger licking chicken.

Was it juicy chicken? Juicy chicken. Yeah. Which sounds good. That should be the way you describe a chicken, but also gross I think there is a place in it's from BC I think we have the last one because they were franchised in the 70s that stole the recipe from KFC Oh, really not it's not Brown's chicken, but it's like something like that. No, it's not sure It's not churches churches is from Texas, come on now. She is. This place, but I think there's like one left

in like Richmond or something, or like one at like Abbotsford. And their catchphrase is it's thumb-lickin' good. In which I love. Yeah. It's fine, you can lick your thumb. Yeah, we need to- It's finger smelling good. What?

What? Pinky sucking good. I love the last of a franchise that's still... Kicking. Kicking. Yeah, me too. Still like, we got enough business in the door here, we'll keep the name, but we don't have to shut down the rest of the chain.

We're not selling off to... We're not selling our locations. We're going to keep our weird shaped building. This isn't going to be a Pizza. That's now an H&R blog By the way, do you know what H&R stands for an H&R blog? Have you ever been to a like a husky diner? Of course. How many of those are left? There can't be that many. There can't be many, yeah.

Are you a diner fiend? Yeah. Are you Mr. Diner? I love eggs and toast. Small ones. I specifically, if they're too big, I'm like, you gotta be losing money on this. You know what?

This is gonna, maybe this is gonna take a while, but cause we had to stop already, but we've gotten so far. We've gotten two small eggs. What else do you get for the $3? Two small eggs. You can get, I think, bacon. Here's how they get you.

If you upgrade anything, it's a $7 upgrade. Woo! So people go there and they're like, I'm feeling good. You know what? Rather than eggs, I'm getting sausage today. And then it's like, congratulations, you just made a $3 breakfast of $15. Like people just start to upgrade stuff.

And the moment you upgrade, they're like, we got you. You're in our web. So it's two eggs, two meat of some kind. Two toast wedges. So two pieces of toast cut in half. But like four toast wedges. Four toast. Four toast.

And like two very crappy, oh, ham, not bacon. What am I saying? You get ham, which is essentially like a baloney that they just throw on the flat top, and then two eggs. Two eggs, no pancake in the dish? No pancake, that would be wild. The place on commercial used to do that. Pancakes are, which one?

Pancakes should be free. There's my hot take. So, I do think so. I think in the same way that some places give out free popcorn, you should just give a free pancake out and just be like, I love you. Yeah, we were making them anyway. Yeah. I think in the same way that some places give out free popcorn, you should just give a free pancake out and just be like, I love you. Yeah, we're making them anyway. I love you.

We were making them anyway. What are you gonna do with that batter later? Put it back? Come on. What's your guide to the greater Vancouver area diner scene? We don't have a ton of them. I feel like historically, this was a diner city. Now, just so for the listener, we introduced our guest as a comedian. He's not a food critic. He's not a diner. He's not doing the diner city. Now, just so for the listener, we introduced our guest as a comedian.

He is not a food critic. He's not a diner. He's not doing the diner crawl. Yeah, people are sitting there being like, is this Guy Fieri? Why is he going off? Yeah, I'm passionate about eggs. I like a diner vibe.

I like walking in and there's somebody who looks like they weren't ready to get a customer today. And they frantically get up from clearly sitting on their phone and they're like, oh, sit there. I was sitting on my phone and it was vibrating and I felt something. I've been sitting on it for the last 45 minutes calling myself. Did you, were you ever around for the Smile Diner? It was- Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. The giant poster of- Never went once because I heard it was rancid. Oh, sure. It was, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had poster of a. Never went once cause I heard it was rancid. Oh, sure. But in a way that horrible food. Oh, your $3 breakfast is so good though.

It is. I will absolutely. Cause like, okay. Yeah. They know what they're doing and they know what they're doing. And yes, we did just say the chicken, the egg was the chicken. The chicken look.

Yeah. If you go there and you're like, are these free run? It's like, they haven't gone. They're like, it's runny, if that's what you mean. They have not left the chair in years. They're appointed. What was, so what was the Smile Diner? It was.

Was that Broadway? That was on Pender Street. Oh, what was the one on Broadway? This, sorry listeners. Okay, there was one on, there was one on Eighth across. Yeah. Was that like Happy? Happy something, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there was one on eighth across. Yeah. Was that happy? Happy something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then there was one. Sunny? Yeah. Sunny. And then there was one on Broadway, like across from where Cafe Barney is now. Oh, yeah. What was that called? That was another. That was another like greasy spoon. Yeah. Spot. And there was a place same thing as like the $3 breakfast I used to eat every day when I was in film school.

Yeah. And it was a 2.99 breakfast and it was kind of basically what you had, but it was in a bar that was open during the morning to like do that. So it wasn't like, could you sit in a bar? You had alcohol?

Well, I never asked, but I'm sure they were fast to lose with the rules. But yeah, I remember having that and just being like, we shouldn't be eating it here though. On that note, at Bonds on Broadway, beers are a toony on Tuesdays. Shut up! At Bonds, and the beer tastes like blood. Is it on tap or is it?

Yeah, it's very metallic. I would not recommend it. But it's a fun way, and they limit to two. They're like, you can't just sit here all day. You'll die. They should lean into that. It tastes like blood. It makes the whole thing Dracula. You have two of those,

Magneto can do that thing he did to you, you know? What is that? Where he pulls the metal out of the guy's blood. Oh shit. So, so far you guys have completely given me nothing on Kung Pao under the fist. Well, like that- You've given me nothing on X-Men references.

Well, I know Magneto. Well, not Magneto. I thought this was the Cinephiles podcast. Well, yeah, but we're going to talk about Life is Beautiful. That's our movie for this week. Is X-Men most famous as a movie? 100%. Big comic book.

It was a huge comic book. No. X-Men? No. Yes. Come on. He's giving you, he's doing the thing. He's baiting me.

It started out in Mad Magazine and then they adapted it. X-Men? No. Yes. Come on, he's doing the thing. Invading me. It started out in Mad Magazine and then they adapted it. I knew it mostly as a animated series in the 90s. Which is back. Yeah. Okay. And we're not gonna talk about it. Is it good?

The new one? Yeah. I have not watched it, but I've had- Oh, so I'm the bad guy. I've had a friend tell me he cried. He was like, it's so good. But I was like, I don't need that in my life. I want Spider-Man to come back.

Yeah, Spider-Man rules. Everybody knows it. X-Men. Spider-Man. Did you the cartoon? The animated one. The one with the two guys pointing? Is it Spider-Man?

That's the one from the 60s. The one I'm talking about is there's a one frame where he's got a newspaper to block some rain. And then somebody like stopped that frame and was like, look how big that newspaper is. And you're like, yeah, that's the biggest newspaper. Oh, true. It's covering two people.

And you don't really notice it when you're watching. Then you're like, that's, his arm is way too long. Yeah. That one from the sixties. That's the one I grew up on. That's a good one. Graham's from the sixties. I'm from the sixties.

You know, I was. And I'm a nineties chick. I don up on. That's a good one. Graeme's from the 60s. I'm from the 60s. You know, I was. And I'm a 90s chick. I don't care. And I'm a 2000s babe. Yeah, you are a 2000s babe. The Spider-Man from the 60s was so insane and for sure like drug addled mind put this together. But as a kid, nothing beats it.

I remember a hard beat a kid, nothing beats it. I remember a- Nothing beats it? Nothing. In the Spider-Man one from the 60s, where he was like, he was attached to something by a rope, and then he just webbed like a perfect, like, pirate cutlass. Like he just was like, whoop,

and then just like a pirate cutlass appeared in air, and used it to cut the rope, and it was like, we're not even, like, he's still got a 3D printer in there. At the time, so that's the one where, like the big advantage of making that as a animator is you don't have to animate his mouth. Yeah, yeah.

And you also can reuse the same like six action shots. He's got his mask on the whole time. So he's like, wow, he's really doing, he's talking so fast. He's the micro machine guy doing the voice. He's perpetually monologuing. And then there was a lot of scenes where it was just tie dye in the background where they didn't have buildings or anything.

It was just like psychedelic. Yeah. Coming at you. So cheap. I think it was made in Canada. It was, and you can tell because in the theme song, they go, is he strong? Listen, bud, he's got radioactive blood,

which you're like that, A, didn't answer the question. B, who says bud other than Canadians in the 60s? Oh, I thought that was the official theme song, no? It is, it is. But Canadians wrote it, and it's performed by Canadians. Yeah, Moxie Pruvus. Really? Well, they did a cover.

They did do a cover. Yeah. Yeah, what was there, there was a part where they riff off of it where he's like, Spider-Man's master plan to start a Spider-Clan or something. It was like a riff that they did on Monster Hunter. That you're like, what? Anyway, welcome to Canada listeners.

We are here with our guest. And before the show, not only was he telling us we were crazy for not having seen Kung-Pow enter the fist. Yeah. He was also saying that he got in a fight, a big fight, about the TV show Friends. I got in a Donnybrook. Someone was, you said someone was defending

its comedy too much. No, I wouldn't say too much, but like, they were very passionately defending Friends' like, validity in the canon of great sitcoms. Because I was, I think I was being dismissive of it. What is the, so of that era, what are the great sitcoms? The 90s? Yeah.

Seinfeld? You got Seinfeld, you got Just Shoot Me. Just Shoot Me, Carolyn in the City, Veronica's Closet. Ali McBeal might count. Sundayly Susan. The single guy. The single guy. Anything but love.

Oh, what's that one? That was Richard Lewis and Jamie Lee Curtis. Men behaving badly. Jamie Lee Curtis was in a sitcom? Yeah, with Richard Lewis. Get it, girl. Yeah. Of course, The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd.

Certainly Empty Nest. Empty Nest, absolutely. The tail end of Cheers for sure. News Radio. News Radio, News Radio. There you go. News Radio is like a not funny answer. News Radio is really.

Yeah, News Radio is great. But so I guess like Friends is, I'm not gonna be the guy to defend it. I'll defend it. But it's very- The listeners are on my side, I'm not gonna be the guy to defend it. I'll defend it. But it's very- The listeners are on my side, I know that. I mean, it is, it was very successful. There's many laughs over those 12 years

or however long it ran. Yeah. But I haven't watched it since then. So- I watch Seinfeld every single day. Yeah. Yeah. Seinfeld holds up.

My defense is of not a friends, of Ross specifically as a character. You think Ross is the greatest character of all? So fun, yeah. So like, do you know that originally the show was centered around Ross? I did not. It was like Seinfeld asked where he was,

he would be the main point and then all the friends would kind of rotate around them. I'm imagining like a Seinfeld intro, but it's just called Schwimmer. You kidding me? I'm in. What's the deal with- What was the movie?

It was in like Mr. Funeral or something. What was it? The Paul Bearer? The Paul Bearer. Was Gwyneth Paltrow in that? Because there was a- The Paltrow Bearer. There was a time when they all, you know, made movies.

They all were in a movie because they were like this. It was so hot. So Courtney Cox was in scary or scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, scary, screaming. Lisa Kudrow was in a, um, Romeo and Michelle. Yeah. Uh, Joey Triviani was in a monkey movie, Ed. About a monkey who plays baseball. I forgot he was.

David Schwimmer was in the Paul Bearer. Aniston was in? She was in a lot of things, but she was in Picture Perfect, Arfa Space, The Object of My Affection. Yeah, she really, she took off. Well, I mean, you're forgetting David Schwimmer's role in Breastamend. And who have we forgotten? Matthew Perry, Fool's Rush in, the whole nine yards.

Yeah, he had a pretty good one. And he had Fool's Rush in. Yeah, I think that brings us to the end of the list. I guess we're goodbye everybody. Was Gunther in anything? But Ross is sort of the most- Gunther was in a self-produced erotic thriller that nobody saw. Not nobody.

Ross is the most frustrating character. Yes. Ross is the one you watch and you're like, don't do that. That's why he's great. Is that why he's great? Yeah. I said that if I had infinite money, there's all these projects I would do. And one of the ones I would do is I would do like a, like a Louis-esque, like single cam show,

like TV show following the misadventures of Ross. And remember like Louis thing where he's walking down the street and he gets like a piece of pizza and it's like, Louis, Louis, Louis, Louis. I would do that, but it would just be Ross. And he just, it would just be him walking and it's raining on him. What's so magical about Ross to you?

He, his life sucks. Yeah. Like he's like a doctor, like he's easily the most successful one on the show. Yeah. And he is, the show is punching bag. Everybody else has these little victories, he only ever loses.

He only ever loses, that's true. Yeah. Everything always falls apart. He's tall, he's good looking, he's a doctor. He has a child you never see. He's like a deadbeat dad. His wife leaves him to be a lesbian, which the show was like, can you imagine?

And it's like, I don't know. Yeah, at the time it was like, oh my god. At the time that was like, if you're a man and you can't pleasure a woman and she leaves you for another woman, it was like. And nowadays, you can not pleasure a woman all you want. Yeah. That's their responsibility.

Nowadays, a woman leaves and you're like, I hope you're happy. Yeah. It's funny for me. For Ross, it was a huge L. On Seinfeld, George is the big loser and he's the best character. And he also- I mean, I would debate, but yeah,

George is a bad character. He also had an ex who had a lesbian relationship afterwards. Yeah, that's true. So what I'm hearing- And he took it badly as well. Yeah, that's true. So what I'm hearing. And he took it badly as well. Yeah. Imagine. But he also thought it was really cool.

Cause I remember saying to him like, you're so cool. Oh yeah. And that was, yeah, in the day where you could just say the word gay and that was just, you know, everybody'd perk up. The studio audience would start giggling. Yeah, exactly. And then the thing about Chandler's mom, of course.

Which is in hindsight, wild. There's a lot of hindsight on that show, because I have put it on the background, like whatever, whenever I'm kind of doing busy work. Yeah. Why are you always doing busy work? Your boss is trying to get rid of you. Nope.

Every time he comes in the place, I just make like, I put on episode friends and say, You've been interning for 40 years. It's just a robot made of staples. But a lot of this stuff doesn't translate. There's a lot of stuff that stuff that I would have thought looking back would have already been stuff that would have been inappropriate. But then you realize the nineties was like a very long time ago.

So there was. It's crazy. Cause yeah, like they, it doesn't feel that long. And they had like, they had like some level of like awareness to it even. And like there'd be this like weird lip service, but they were like, well, of course, like, it's fine that they're like this, but I mean, come on.

But like when they're not around, here's 50 jokes. Yeah. Yeah. And it's- Someone had a, there was a meme I saw recently about the greatest lie 90s sitcoms taught us was that you would go over to your friend's house for breakfast before work. Yeah, the whole thing of them being at the coffee shop,

like you would have had been up so early to get ready for work and then go like hang out at a coffee shop for an hour. All of their adventures were because they were so jacked up on coffee, they just were like, what do you mean your mom's like that? And your mom's like that. Now is a cop, cause I feel like in the nineties, that was like coffee shop was king in the nineties.

It was very vogue, yeah. Yeah, but like, do we have that? Has that returned? It's like kids sitting on a bed vaping. I feel like that's the new modern friends. Yeah. 29 year olds as kids sitting on their phone in the same room, nobody's speaking, vaping. And then every now and again, somebody shows someone else a meme and they're like, And Gunther's there dealing out his coffee. someone else a meme and they're like. And Gunther's there dealing out.

Cause coffee shops, coffee shops were very like, Frasier went to a coffee shop. So I married your ex murderers. That's like iconic coffee shop aesthetic. Um, and it was just, and it would be all hours of the day and night. And it was like kind of classy. And now every coffee shop is like, just trying to like really be selective about who gets the bathroom code. And also like Starbucks is like I feel if you're

there at three o'clock it's all teens and they're all buying like basically basically milkshakes. Yeah. Or waters. Yeah, just water. And, but yeah, I don't think of like, wow, do people still meet at coffee shops? I don't know, I go to the coffee shop alone. Where did you guys meet before the show? At the Plaza, next to JJB. Outside the coffee shop. Outside the coffee shop.

Sure. It was a location to meet at. Yeah, I feel like coffee shops are still like, you mean for like hinge dates, you know? All my hinge dates, absolutely. All my hinge dates. Work, sort of like catch ups. Yeah, that's true. Or like an interview in a neutral location

like you're applying to this company and let's. It's kind of what a hinge date is. Yeah. What is a hinge date? Well, I mean, it's like an online dating thing. But is there some particular like- Hinge is, I mean, it's like an online dating thing. But is there something particular like- Hinge is, I think, very thorough.

Like hinge asks you, I was never on hinge when I was single, too many questions. Really? Yeah, it was like, it got really deep in there. I was like, I don't even know this about myself. When does it start, like what kind of questions? Like, just like, imagine going on a first date with somebody who asks you just like,

what are your values? What are your political affiliations? What are your values? What are this like really detailed questions? I don't know my values. I know if I see them. What are your values? Whatever Friends is about, I'm probably not about that. Yeah. I'm more of a- I'm all in the family.

I'm more of a just shoot me guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All in the family. Oh'm more of a just shoot me guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All in the family. Oh my God, I just got it because they're like photographers. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. What was the, what was like, what was the friends of like the 2000s? How I met your mother? Yeah, you're probably right. Girls is like a very, that's like a... That was like a one away from- I feel like you're giving the viewing audience

too much credit. Friends or of girls? For girls. Girls, you needed an HBO subscription. That's true. Yeah, this wasn't something that would just come on. Yeah. The Rock from the Sun, that was from the 90s.

There's just another one. The Rock from the Sun. Yeah, that was- I was talking with my girlfriend and we were watching something where John Lithgow is creepy and she was like, John Lithgow is always creepy. And I was like with my girlfriend and we were watching something where John Lithgow is creepy and she was like John Lithgow is always creepy and I was like And she I was like, what have you seen him in? She's like Dexter and I was like you gotta know the rest

Raising Kane he's raising Kane. Yeah, and he's he's just been in so many things where it's always a delight when he shows up. Oh yeah. Like anytime he's on screen, you're just like, love that level. To look at him, he's like, he's always creepy. I was like, the man emanates warmth. What are you talking about? The fact that he can play creepy

is testament to his abilities. Conclave, he was creepy in Conclave. He was, yeah, Conclave. At the time of this coming out, the Academy Awards have been handed out. Have they? Well, no, at the time of it coming out. the Academy Awards have been handed out. Have they? Well, no, at the time of it coming out. Oh.

So they're happening this Sunday. So we get to play a future prediction game. If you want to. Congratulations. I don't really know what's nominated. Congratulations to the Brutalist for longest movie Oscar this year. They do all, this year they're doing like

MTV video award style, so. Best kiss. Best kiss was the substance. I think they'll do a big intermission joke in the middle of the Oscars. I hope so. Who's hosting it? Conan. Conan O'Brien. It's one of those things where they do say it's the most thankless job in Hollywood. I don't understand why people keep taking it. Like, is it just to be part of the canon? I just want to sing about, sing funny songs about the movies that came out this year. I feel like Billy Crystal, like, and now we're all online, he should do that every year just as his own thing, like write an Oscar song.

Yeah, the way that like, I don't know, does anyone keep up an unofficial, like, I can't think of an example. I know there's one out there. I'm trying to come up with a song for the Brutalist now. Oh, the Brutalist. Way too long a laugh. That's not bad. Get Bruce. The winner of Best Kiss is the director of the Brutalist

at his own ass. All right, yeah. I don't know why I've chosen this character. Did you see it? Yeah, I did. Did you love it? The first hour was great. And then intermission came and are we allowed to swear on this?

Yeah. Yeah. In fact, you should. You both hesitated. I know, but I'm just, we get asked that a lot and we don't have a funny answer yet. We're working on it though. Yeah. I mean, halfway through the movie, the intermission hit and I was like,

they're never going to finish this fucking building, are they? Like it just is like, it is a punishing film to sit through. First hour is really good. And you're like, keep building cabinets. I love it. Sure. Great.

And then the movie takes a very deep breath and you're like, oh, and then his wife comes in in the wheelchair and you're like, oh, and then it just is like. Just gets sadder. Yeah, and it's like, you don't get to leave. Remember, there's two and a half hours left. You're invested. God. I think's like, you don't get to leave. Remember, there's two and a half hours left.

You're invested. Oh, God. I think I could leave during an intermission. In hindsight, I would. In hindsight, because I hated it. I completely hated that movie. But what? Even though you liked the first half.

The first half is great. I know. And it's really well directed. I saw the first, I feel the same way. I didn't hate the movie overall, but I don't, I don't like it. It's such a controversial one to me. Cause yeah, it's like, it's so well directed and the cast is so good.

And it's a, there's a terrific movie in there. And then there's also two hours of non-terrific movie. You're like, why are you doing this to me? Past guest, Maddie Kelly. We talked about it with her. She loved it. And I just want to see what was her message to me after I saw it.

So this is a reoccurring thing. Well, yeah, Graham hasn't seen it. I haven't seen it. I do not plan to. See Anora. Yeah, we talked about this. Anora, I've got to watch Anora. So I had posted a picture of the intermission when I saw it

and she said, did you like it? And I said, no, I loved it. Just kidding. I thought it was bad. And then she said, okay, smart people I like are thinking it's bad. And that's really confusing to me. Bobby Warner, past guest loved it.

He recommended it. Love the Brutalist? Yeah, he was like, you gotta go see it. And then I texted him and I said, you're an idiot. You definitely have to go see it because you're not gonna watch it at home. No, you know what, I put on the Brutalist in the background while I'm doing busy work.

It is a busy work movie. It would be a lot more palatable if the director had a little note in the corner that said, look at your phone anytime. Yeah, yeah, this is a good time to go for a snack. This scene, we're not gonna do any editing. This is all performance, but is it? Everyone's crying.

Just look at your phone anytime, doesn't matter. What else is there? I know the substance. I know the brutalist. I know- Conclave. Conclave. Wicked.

Wicked, a complete unknown. Wicked. Complete unknown, that's right. Which, do we need more movies about Bob Dylan? Absolutely, one a year, I say. Oh, okay, same. Man, oh man, I couldn't agree with you more. And then what was the,

I'm Not Here, I'm Not There? I'm Not There, another great movie about Bob Dylan. I know, but no, there's one, the best picture nominee called that this year. I'm not. I can't even, I think it's what it's called. It's a movie about teens, baby. This is bad for the listeners because the Oscars were.

Yeah, that's right. We're trying to remember what's nominated. What is relevant today, Gene Hackman dead. That's right. Gene Hackman dead. In 95. Which you got to admit, have you read about it? No.

So he was found dead as was his wife who's in her 60s and their dog Oh, the death is being marked which is very sad. Oh, it's suspicious is suspicious Yeah to die at 95 in suspicious circumstances pretty cool. Oh, yeah, why different? The only thing I read was that it was not suspicious. Oh, I think they think it was like a carbon dioxide Yeah, poisoning, but also his death, when you look at the Wikipedia, it says circa February 26. Oh, which is pretty cool. Also, I think-

At 95 to have like a- To have no one checking in on you, that's great. I mean, probably in the case of most 95. He's one of those guys that I think like was like drank and smoke and just- He was a Marine. Yeah, like just the whole life. And then he just lives and smoke. He was a Marine. Yeah, like just the whole life and then he just lives to 95.

He lived to 95. I like one of the last known pictures of him, known. Like paleontologists are digging up Ross's over there. Was just like him eating Wendy's. Oh, sure. Yeah, I feel like that was his whole, like he looked like a guy that was like a, had had a tough life. Yeah, I feel like that was his whole like he looked like a guy. There was like a Had had a tough life. Yeah, and then but then he lived

I was shocked to find out he was 95 last known picture of him was a selfie He took on the ground and there's a filter on it. He's like Come on Man has died here That's right. His wife has died. That is that. That is very sad. And what about this dog in the whole situation? It's very sad. Sad. It's sad all around. The dog was 96. Was he? Yeah. The dog actually considered Gene Hackman a pet. There was a fun- I don't like laughing at all this. No! This is bad. There was a fun- Sorry everybody. I regret bringing it up. There was a fun moment on I think Man vs.

Food where- Nothing but fun moments on Man vs. Food. Well, every now and again, I think, I don't think Adam Richman was ever having fun. I think he was like, this is a lot of spicy meat. And they were like, it's 14 pounds. You have to eat it. Yeah. Where, that's right.

That was the conceit of the show. It was like, it was on, I think, O.L.N. or something. I don't know if it was like a Food Network show, but this guy would go around doing food challenges, kind of before that was like a was on I think OLN or something I don't know if it was like a Food Network show but this guy would go around doing food challenges kind of before that was like a trendy thing to do. Yeah, like if the restaurant had like you can eat the whole steak. We'll suck your dick.

You'll suck your dick. Yeah, we will slurp your nuts. And he just goes coast to coast eating and getting sucked. It's not for the whole family but that's why it comes on at 11 p.m. Yeah. On Showcase. On Showcase in the 90s. Yeah. Oh, showcase. Oh, showcase.

In the 90s. Yeah, showcase for people who don't know was a channel that, during the day, what did it have? It had... It was sort of the, it was, we got it the same year we got Bravo. Bravo, Bravo used to be quite classy. Bravo would show ballet on the weekends.

And then was biography? No, that was on A&E. Bravo also would show like weird seventies porno. Yeah, yeah. And so would showcase. Showcase would show like- Red shoe diaries. Red shoe diaries, but they would also show like

a classy foreign movie with a horny scene. We got to see Zalman King's- He read your diaries? He was Red Shoe Diaries, and there was another one that was like blue vacation. Yeah. And it like opens with like David Duchovny's ass. And you're like, I don't know who Zalman King is, but.

But he's a horrible. He's a horrible whiskey. Yeah. You know, he's a rebel. I'm just going to look up Zalman King. Can you talk about yourself? What did Showcase do during the day though? I know at night it was, it was erotica.

They would show reruns of Rentagoli. Ah, nice. Well, Canadian content for you. I assume, I assume that's Canadian. Of show reruns of Rentagoli. Ah, nice. A little Canadian content for you. I assume, I assume that's Canadian? Of course, yeah. Rentagoli, who is in that? I have no idea. Well, I bet it's one of those ones you go back

and there's some super famous guy that plays like a minor character. Or you just like go back and you're like, oh, look, it's Rob Pugh. Like probably one of those. Oh yeah, somebody that you might know. One of those, more realistically. Zalman King directed, did he also direct?

He directed Wild Orchid, which was like a horny Mickey and Harry. He directed my boner into the air. Orchid movie. I feel bad for the listeners at home trying to keep up. What a whiplash we've done from sad Gene Hackman, and then we're like, all right, now we gotta. Also was any of his movies ever Oscar considered Oscar considered or these just, he was too horny, too horny for Oscar.

Oh my God. The names of the things this guy made. Uh, he did the TV diary, TV movie. TV diary. Shut up. He directed Wild Orchid. He produced nine and a half weeks. Ooh.

He directed. What's nine and a half weeks? It's Kim Beisinger and Mickey Rourke in a sexy, sex filled. Say no more. Eating food off each other. Ooh. Yeah, you know that scene where like they're,

he's eating strawberries or whatever. Is it the one that's referenced in hot shots? Correct. Okay. Where he's frying bacon on the top. I always wondered how they did that. How did they get his stomach so hot? It was a ceramic.

Beautiful. Yeah, ceramic and then they just had like a little. Hollywood magic. God damn it, I know, right? Yeah. I love Yeah, ceramic and then they just had like a little- Hollywood magic. God damn it, I know, right? Yeah. I love seeing, I love seeing any Hollywood magic thing or any magic trick explained. Yeah.

Those are two things I will always click on no matter what. The magic tricks always make me feel like a fool. Well, yeah. So Zalman King did all these horny movies. He did a shame, shame, shame. Woof. Red Shrew a shame, shame, shame. Red Shoe Diaries, Delta of Venus.

Oh man, I love that there's a guy who this is his whole niche. It was just like- But he also did- Modern day Russ Myers. Like body language, sex art, pleasure or pain, and then a Willie Nelson music video. I literally thought it was going to be like, and Teletubbies.

Well, to be fair, Willie Nelson was bricked up the entire time in the video. So yeah, I, That mean, is bricked up mean when your diaper's full? Yes. Willie Nelson had a full poopy diaper the entire time. Yeah. That there was showcase.

And Amy had, uh, some, I feel like they had a broadcast hour. The watershed hour was, I think it was horny times. Was it called that? Yeah. After nine o'clock in Canada, it's called the watershed hour. And it means that like the regular broadcast standards don't apply. City TV had baby blue movies, soft core porn, and as a young man channel surfing, it was a game changer. Yeah.

It was crazy. Because a lot of people were born a bit later, they may not know that we had to watch sometimes a scrambled channel, it was blue and wavy and you had to really like squint to maybe see. Scrambled like the eggs you get at Bonzo Broadway. Scrambled like my tiny delicious eggs. scrambled channel, it was blue and wavy and you had to really like squint to maybe see. Scrambled like the eggs you get at Bonzo Broadway. Scrambled like my tiny delicious eggs. How do you order your eggs? I usually go for a sunny side up.

Nice. Thanks, man. Classic. Thanks, I really appreciate it. Yeah, eggs are expensive these days. I mean, they're not too bad here, but apparently people are freaking out down south. Americans are paying Canadian prices now and they don't like it.

Yeah, well then they look at the back of a book and then they see American price, Canada price, American price now. So remember? They look at the back of the book and they see Quebec Wall and they're like, double nags. Yeah, there's a few things like magazines will have a Canadian and an American price

on them. And then yesterday I was at the garden nursery and seeds have American and Canadian prices on the back as well. Really? Yeah. What's the price for a pack of seeds? Oh, four bucks. Oh, that's not bad.

I just, I have no idea. It could have been four, it could have been 80. I have no idea. I've never bought seeds before. Hugh? Oh yeah. You've bought seeds? Oh yeah. You bought seeds? Oh yeah.

What are you growing? I've grown lettuce, which I don't know how to harvest a lettuce seed, but you can seed them. Yeah, okay. I can seed those lettuce seeds. And there's, yeah, I've done tomatoes, which did not go well. Now?

And then I've done a couple herbs. I have like, I'm like a very lazy survivalist. Sure. Where I like grow a small batch of lettuce, and I'm like, yeah, like a very lazy survivalist. Sure. Where I like grow a small batch of lettuce and I'm like, yeah, I'll probably live the apocalypse. I'll probably fight. We did kale last year and it is still growing. It survived the winter. Yeah.

Mint is really good too. It will not die. Well, don't put it in the ground. You got to grow it in a pot. If it grows in the ground, it grows everywhere. That's true. Oh really? Invasive. Like stink.

Yeah, okay. I don't do any of the gardening, so I don't know anything about it. Oh, well I'll grow you some mint. Yeah, that'd be great. What do I put in mint? Julep. Oh, I'll make my own julep.

No, I'll make your own toothpaste. That's like a class you could take at community college. Make your own toothpaste. Yeah, what would you put it? I guess baking soda, mint. What do you get? How do you make fluoride? You get it from-

Grind up old teeth? It's a very passive aggressive way to tell someone they have bad breath. Oh, give me some mint. You can make some toothpaste maybe. I can get it for you right now. No, that's very much like a lazy hippie. Like I make my own deodorant.

What's the line of some, the office or something about Dwight brushing his teeth with clay? I picture that every single time I've brushed my teeth since I heard that joke. Are you a mint man? What are you? What are you toothpaste wise? I'm a mint man.

Toothpaste wise, what do you mean? Wow, you get the kids' flavors, you get a bubble gum, sure you get a cinnamon, there used to be. Is there still bubble gum toothpaste? Sure. I feel like I'm in the level of adult world where I haven't seen it in so long, but I would hop on that in a heartbeat

if I thought it would clean my teeth. But I look at it and it's like, this is for kid teeth. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I'm assuming it's all different, but I don't know. I just, I have that weird thing where you're like baby aspirin, adult aspirin need to take one over the other. Yeah. Which is true. Which one is cheaper? That's how I do it. Per milligram? Yeah. I do cost analysis of the store.

I feel like that's not how you should live your life. Whatever medication is cheapest. All right, well, I drank two bottles of baby aspirin because it's the same as one pill. I feel fine with you guys, I feel great. Just looking at like trying to make toothpaste, you're like, is baking soda the same as baking powder? Whatever you got.

Accidentally make a bomb. Or a scone. Okay, so I'm going to combine my very volatile toothpaste with this clay, because that thing from the office, that you just make a combustible toothpaste. What was that plastic, I guess plastic explosive is what I'm thinking of. Oh, sure.

C4? Sure. Plastique. C4? Sure. Um, Plastique. Plastique. Uh, what was, uh, do you guys remember that weird, like black toothpaste? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Like coal, right? Yeah. Tasted funky. Yeah. It looks funky too. There's like the purple one now that they're really trying to market and their marketing is like, when you look at this, like look at an

orange behind a purple light and it looks white. So purple toothpaste makes your teeth white. I it's like what? The science is so- You have to compare it to the blue and black dress and the white and yellow dress. And it's also like, well, my teeth aren't an orange color. I mean, they may be off white, but surely they're not. Sometimes you do that thing where you have an orange slice in place of your teeth. That's true. That's true. Yeah, their example is the guy from The Godfather.

And they're like, as you can see his teeth are horrible. The guy from The Godfather. He's been dead for years, whatever his name is. The Godfather. Right? Well, what was the actor's name again? Marlon Brando. Right.

Who made a splash in the Island of Dr. Marone. Yeah, he made a horny movie as well in Last Tangle in Paris. Yeah. You know, Island of Doctor Moreau is pretty horny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty horny. Depends what you're into.

That's it, yeah, that. I've seen the documentary about that one and it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. About? The making of the Island of Doctor Moreau. I think it's called Lost Soul. Yeah. And it is so funny.

Yeah? Because all of the craziest stuff where you watch that movie and you're like, why did any of this happen? A lot of it was just like the movie was falling apart. And then Marlon Brando realized that and was like, my character needs a giant ice bucket on his head. And they're like, okay, you're Marlon Brando. We have to do that. And then you're watching the movie and he's got an ice bucket. I think there's a lot of people who never worked again after that movie. Yeah. And I feel like Marlon Brando and-

Those people, me. I saw that movie and I was like, I am taking a day off. There was a movie with him and Edward Norton and somebody else. The, like- The score. The score, yeah. Free Money.

Free Money? No. Free Money was him and Charlie Sheen, I think it was one of Brando's last films. Brando and Charlie Sheen? I think so, yeah. Oh, gotta go, guys. I loved the score.

It was Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro. Edward Norton. Edward Norton and. Wasn't it Marlon Brando? Marlon Brando, and I loved it at the time, and I rewatched it, and it did not hold up. And like like they apparently

Yeah, it's Frank Oz. This is one of the many stories you retell. Well, you know what? You don't like it? Turn it the fuck up. Go ahead. The director was Frank Oz. It was Frank Oz and they wouldn't listen to him

because he voiced Miss Piggy. So they kept calling him Miss Piggy on set. I don't think they did. I think Marlon Brando did. Well, Marlon, but he was, everybody was in with him, you know? Nobody was defending him Miss Piggy on set. I don't think they did. I think Marlon Brando did. Well, Marlon, but he was, everybody was in with him, you know? Nobody's defending him. It's so funny.

I'm like, right, so we're gonna set up over here. Okay, Miss Piggy, thanks. It is very dismissive. And it takes place in Montreal. Does it really? Yeah. Like, with his face, Robert De Niro owns a jazz club in Montreal.

He does? He's trying to get out of the game. Oh. In the game, he has a jazz club? Or he has an actual jazz club in Montreal? What get out of the game. Oh, in the game he has a jazz club? Or he has an actual jazz club in Montreal? What do you mean the game? Oh sorry, the heist or whatever the hell it was. Yeah, you try, it's like, I pulled my last heist, I'm not doing it anymore, I've just got this jazz club. Well, we got a new heist coming in. I loved a heist movie at that time. Yeah. That was a good time for heist movies. Ocean's Eleven, the Italian job, the score.

Score, there was a, what's the one with Jason Statham? It was really good. It was in the early aughts. Oh, like? Snatch? No, before Snatch. Locksock and two Smoking Burles? No, it was one where they like stayed next to a bank. Inside Man?

Inside Man, there you go. No, Inside Man. Inside Man was with Clive Owen. Oh, shit, no. What was it called? I think it was the one where they drilled into the bank vault, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't remember what that one was. It was like the London. I think it was based on a truce. It was, yeah. What was the one, was Inside Man not Denzel Washington? I think he might've been in it. That was a Spike Lee joint. Everybody's not listening to this.

Was that Inside Man on fire? I know. I wanted to be a good guest and immediately I bummed everybody out and we're on weird niche stuff. I was like, you guys gotta go to this restaurant on Maine. It was Denzel Washington and Clive-O. Oh, so you're both right. Right, yeah.

But what is that Statham one? It's a Spike Lee joint. The Statham one was, yeah, it's like the London job or the bank job. Oh, was it the bank job? Might've been the bank job. I think it was the bank job. Oh, it was the crank job. Oh. If he doesn't rob a bank every 30 days, he has a heart attack. Yeah. He

has to keep rubbing banks every 30 days. Every 30. He's actually quite reasonable. You can do that. Cool. Pretty good. Dave, what's going with you, man? You know what the one you're thinking of? Yeah. The Italian job. No, no, no. He was in that. I. That's not what I'm thinking about. We were not liking that movie. Was it Revolver? No. Revolver's Guy Ritchie. Revolver's good. And that's got a great performance from the late great. I want to say Tommy Versetti, but it's not him. Ray Liotta. Ray Liotta. It was the bank job. The bank job. The crank job. Sorry. Can you guess? So if his name is Chevcheleos in crank. Oh, what's the character's name in the bank?

Yeah. Beverly. I, it has nothing to do with Chevcheleos. Oh, but is it a two? No. No, I don't know. Then Vincent Fuck-A-Lot. Terry Leather.

Ooh, that's better. Or is it? That's pretty good. Vincent Fuck-A-Lot. Terry Leather sounds like a Zalman King character. Mm-hmm. This guy with the Zalman King. What's going on with me, you ask?

Yes. Well, uh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Do you guys feel that earthquake this week? Yeah. Did you? Flop through it. Really, didn't even notice.

Didn't even know. Why are you sleeping at one in the afternoon? Oh, buddy. I'm living the comic lifestyle right now. Have you ever stayed up till night in the morning? Feels good. Yeah. All right. And then you're a night owl.

Yes. That's why you love a diner so much. It is. Yeah. I'm a night hawk. Yeah. Just going around living that Tom Waits lifestyle. Being like, feed me a stray cat.

You have any nickels I could suck on? around living that Tom Waits lifestyle. You're like, feed me a stray cat. You have any nickels I could suck on? Tim Allen? This piano needs more power. Yeah, I felt it. And you texted me right away. You were on my short list of guys I text when there's an earthquake. How many earthquakes have you ever felt in your life? I think probably, probably just this one, to be honest. I think this was only my second. Yeah.

And we live in what we're told is an earthquake zone. We're on the fault zone. Have you felt one before? Definitely. Where? I was on Vancouver Island when I was quite young. And I remember we were all just sitting in class and like we thought like a big truck was going by.

And then all the teachers were like, everybody down, everybody dance down. It was a different time. Everybody down. Remember we did this drill. We got to appease the God of the mountain. Bust a move. The other one I felt was on Vancouver Island,

but it couldn't have been yours, because it was at night. Couldn't have been yours. Yeah, well, he would have felt, he would have all night long, he would have felt it. Yeah, yeah. Even as a kid, he would do it.

Oh yeah, big night out. I was up reading Redwall, just having a great night. What's that? You don't know Redwall? Here it comes. Do you? No.

You guys don't know Redwall? I caramba, gang. No, no, no, no, no, let's guess. Eat my shorts. I'm guessing it is a, from our guest's demeanor, Redwall, I'm guessing is an internet thing. My thing is, I think it's a book. I'm guessing it's an internet website that has pictures of dead people.

Like autopsy photos. From our guest-o-meter, I'm gonna guess redwallisrotten.com. What is it? What's Red Door? Tell us. What's Red Door? What the hell is it? What's Red Ceiling? us. What's Red Door? What the hell is it? What's Red Ceiling? I gotta be honest, I'm feeling shy. Oh, really? I don't want to say.

Okay. No, I do. It's a series of children's novels that are written by the late great Brian Jock, who's a standup comedian. They're great. They're like really good fantasy novels, but all the characters are anthropomorphic animals. Okay. And they're very wh They're like a really good like fantasy novels, but all the characters are anthropomorphic animals Okay, and they're very wholesome very comfy these these a chapter book Yeah, it's like a scholastic scholastic Great, it's like, you know like fantasy for kids kind of stuff. Sure, but they're really cozy books You know what my fantasy for kids is non-stop ice cream

Yeah for me it was, it's a, like a soda shop. One day I'm going to own a soda shop. That's my fantasy. Speaking of, I walked by a school that has, it's like in Vancouver. I don't even remember where it was. They have slides to leave your class. Whoa. What, what, what, how are- Yeah, you can either walk down and then there's two slides. leave your class. Whoa. What, what, how are? Yeah, you can either walk down

and then there's two slides. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I would have liked going to school if that was on. Oh, I guess just leaving school. Yeah. Whoever fought to get that like zoning, like done. It was a kid.

Yeah. It was a tiny kid in a big suit. Yeah, big suit. Receiving your line and he was like, he went to city hall. What does Mr. Baby have to say about it? Well, I'm glad you broke it. I'm something of a boss, baby.

Mr. Mayor, I like to go down the slide. I've had a long day. Mr. Mayor, tell down that slide. And put down a slide. Yeah, I've seen that. I just, man, oh man. It's a, you say, you, not split hairs.

You said it looks like it's coming out of a classroom. It's probably coming to the hallway, right? No, it's definitely the classroom. So every classroom has one? Whenever the teacher tells everybody to shut up, they all pick her up and throw her down. It's a flaw with the plan. The kids are running the school.

When you get your schedule, when you get your like class schedule at the start of the year, you're like, oh, fuck, I'm not in the fly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck. Oh. I'm not taking, because I'm taking English this semester. That doesn't happen in elementary. Yeah, you just get the one teacher.

I mean, this horrible, rigid prison of stairs, this Cubist nightmare. Yeah. Oh, this is brutalist. Brutalist. Brutalist. If they had like a second intermission at the very end, he's like, okay, I would have slide. It gets good at the end.

I'm going to build a slide. When was the last time either of you guys were on a slide? Come on. Come on now. Recently. You've been on a slide recently. Like, what'd you say in the last time either you guys were on a slide? Come on. Come on now. Recently. You've been on a slide recently. Like what'd you say in the last six months? No, it's too wet.

Too wet, that's true. But I've been, I mean, speaking of wet slides, I went on water slides this summer. Hell yeah. Yeah, when was the last time you went down a slide? Too long. Yeah, too long. For sure.

No, although a couple years ago I stayed at a hotel and remembered to bring a bathing suit and they had a slide and I went down that slide so many times. When you're at like a bad hotel in like the middle of nowhere and they have a slide and you go there and there's like a bunch of people's kids and you're like, I respect. You guys are here to have a great time, but I'm going to make the vibe weird because I'm not getting off that slide. Here come the jean shorts and away we go.

The rivets are leaving huge gashes in the. It was so fun. It was so fun going down a water slide. So fun. Yeah, like how a kid does like at the end, run back up there and do it again. Hello, the kids out here. I like a good swing.

And every time I look at a swing, I'm like, that's not structurally stable for adults. We need adult swings. That's my, bring that kid back to city hall. Let me just Google adult swings. I don't want the Zalman King swing. I want a nice clean wholesome swing for an adult that wants to go high, go low, feel good.

That sounds like it. So I, as an adult, like I'm, I, He's a human man. Say it. I, as an adult, like I'm, I, He's a human man. Say it. As a man made of meat. I, growing up, I was like a little bit motion sick. I have much worse motion sickness now and I cannot go on a swing.

Like my kids will go on a swing and I'll go next to them. And no, I swing forward and back. I need to go sit down. Same with the amusement park. I can do roller coaster forward. I cannot do anything. Do the swings or swing. Yeah.

Whoa. But you could do a slide. Yeah, slide rules. No motion sickness on a slide? Yeah. I mean, a slide lasts about one second. Two if you're lucky. But what if it doesn't?

What if it's just way too tall? There was that one that the police officer got injured going down. Oh my God, that video's good. And I've seen more videos of that kind of slide with grownups just like shooting out the bottom. When you come down a slide on your belly, it has not gone well. The slide did not do its intended purpose. Although if you come down a slide on your belly, it has not gone well.

The slide did not do its intended purpose. Although if you come down face forward on your belly, you're having the time of your life. Or you have no more nipples. That's right. Well, some of us here have them, some of us here don't. Some of us got them blasted off in the 90s when that was a cool thing to do.

Yeah. Smooth, smooth, the torso was all the rage. Fill in your belly button, take off your nipples. That was maybe the nipple piercing-ist decade. Absolutely. Good era. Yeah, was it also dick piercing? I feel like that came later.

I feel like the guys with them got them then, and I don't think there's been a resurgence of that trend. Does it like, I don't know anything about it, but I have a million questions. Yeah, any questions, I'm open. Is it like a gauge, like either you put in your ear, does it seal back after you take out the penis period? I would hope so.

Or does it stay that size? Like you can stick a big pen through it. You just wanna know if you can pee through it. No, yeah, yes and no. Do you take out the penis period or does it stay that size? Like, I think you have to, you just want to know if you can pee through it. No, yeah, yes and no. Well, of course you can. Cause what do you know, you got to hold it for the rest of your life. Well, does it whistle?

Yeah, I was just gonna ask, does it whistle? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow? I think you probably need to sit down to pee forever though. Probably. What a terrible fate. Oh no, the best thing ever. Oh no.

What a curse. A delicious treat for the rest of my life. I knew a guy who got one and he was like, he was a Mondo sex guy. And that was like, that was in his circle. It was the thing people are doing. Great title. I'm a Mondo sex guy, but no one believes me. The guy at the piercing place didn't believe me.

My wife doesn't believe me. We'll give you a pierced ear or maybe a lip, but do you not give it a, what are they called? Prince Albert? To bring it back around, Mondo sex guys, some great merch. If you're gonna get into that game. Yeah, Mondo sex guys, Alvin King's.

What does it look like, Mondo Sex Guys merch? Does it have a guy, is there a character on it? It's Spidodido. It has a very scientific diagram of a whistling penis. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Just air goes in like one of those like, in a biology tech.

Like a patent. Yeah. Okay, yes. For a whistling penis. Yeah, the air goes in, it comes out, deer come running from miles away. Sir, I hate to tell you this, but you've got a whistling painless.

It's not what I've been hearing all this time. Also imagine hunting, and then you're just like, all right, I'm gonna call the deer. And then you just hear a fly unzip and you're like, wait a second. Dwoo, dwoo. What sound does the deer make then you just hear a fly unzip and you're like, what does that make? What sound does the deer make? I don't know. No, that's the one. That's the one. Yep. Deer is a very whimsical creatures. That's true. They'll come sashaying up.

They do say, they're just like, did you call? Yeah. So we felt that earthquake. Yeah, that was good. Yeah, scary. One big jolt and then, well, first I was like, is that a big truck, like you said? And then five seconds later, oh, another truck. Yeah, I thought that a car hit my building because it was small enough that it wasn't like, ah, but it was big enough to be like, what the fuck was that?

And what's your status of go bags, emergency bags? You got one? My homemade toothpaste. Okay. It takes up most of the go bag. A lot. It's got a tub of a... I got leaves in there.

I got some paste. I got a lot. Your lettuce. Yeah, my go bag is poi. It's a garbage bag I put over my head and pass out. My go bag has my poi in case there's a music festival when everybody's kind of rebuilding society. Yeah, I feel like mine is not up to snuff. I feel like I could do better with my go bag.

You can buy them right off of Amazon already done, which is very tempting. Do you think like putting together a go-bag is fun? I feel like for certain people it would be. I can clarify, it's really fun. It feels really cool. I don't even know what you've, I mean, some sort of water. We did a, when we did Let's Make a Sci-Fi, we talked to a woman whose job is to like,

she's a disaster expert, and she like consults on movies, like disaster movies about whatever science things that would happen. And, but her big thing she told us was like, in an actual disaster, the people who survive are the people who like know their neighbors. Oh yeah, well then I'm going down

I try to say hi to people but I don't think any of them would save my life It feels too little too late after the disaster when you like knock on the door like hey I brought some cupcakes They're made of mulch because there's no more flour. I know the couple that will live across the hall from me I know the dude upstairs that always goes for walks. There's a couple of people that they avoid direct eye contact entirely. Yeah.

Well, they're gonna die. Or I'm gonna die cause they know the way out and they won't let me in on it. Is that weird guys always trying to make eye contact. The way out. The weird guys are always staring at me. The way out of your building? Well, yeah, like if the building's crumbled,

maybe they know. What floor are you on? I'm on the, not first, second floor. Oh, okay, not first, second floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, not ground, first floor. There's slide? Yeah, but it just goes right from the lobby,

back up into my house. I don't know why everybody has to come through my fucking apartment to use the slide, but that's the lease I signed. So keeps the rent down, you see. So yeah, earthquake that ruled. The other thing I did this week, watch the Pharrell movie.

Oh, and? The Lego one. What do you think? I guess you could think any of the despicable me movies are. And sure he did narrate the Grinch. Oh, he did. Did you see that one? The Benedict Cumberbatch one?

Yeah. Did not care for it. I liked it. Yeah. Benedict Cumberbatch's choice for the Grinch was to me as bad as Tom Hardy's Bane. It was like, where did you find this character inside your mind? I hate to tell you people love Tom Hardy's Bane. I hate Tom Hardy's Bane. It was like where did you find this character inside your mind? I hate to tell you, people love Tom Hardy's Bane. I hate Tom Hardy's Bane.

But was there ever a voice of Bane that we were supposed to think it was a superior voice? Because that's the first time I've ever- Batman the Animated Series. And also Bane is, he's supposed to have a strong, they made him like Eastern, I don't know what he is in The Dark Knight Returns, The Dark Knight Rises. But he's supposed to have a Mexican accent. He's supposed to sound like Guillermo del Toro, honestly. Really? Yeah.

I didn't pick that up at all. I know. So you think that was a choice or do you think they put the mask over him and nobody could understand it? I have no idea because like I was watching that movie, now we're at spoiler alert, but- What are we, spoiler alert, Batman wins. Dark Knight Rises. Well, I remember sitting in the theater and I was like so hyped and I was like, this is spoiler alert, but- What are we spoiling? Spoiler alert, Batman wins. Dark Knight Rises.

Well, I remember sitting in the theater and I was so hyped and I was like, this is going to be so great. And I was like, with all my friends and I was like, this is going to be the greatest thing ever. And then they're doing this whole thing. And then when he walks up and it's like, why does he wear the mask? It was like, what? And the rest of the movie was a wash. When did you start stand-up? Yeah, this is important. This is important. Yes 2012 that oh is that where the year it came out? I want to say yeah, because that was Every stand-up comedy show had a Bane voice. I remember that well some people are still doing oh sure Some people that is still in the I have not gone to many comedy shows in the last decade,

but I know who you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. This is not a new take, but I think Tom Hardy sucks. That is a new take. Really? Oh, that's a really strong take. I think that he is a hammy.

I think he just choose the scenery and I do not think history will look kindly on him. He was great in Bronson, but he just, he makes a decision and then he's like, all right, how do I find a weird little voice for this? Like in Venom is like weird. Like, I'm just this guy. Have you seen the bike riders?

I haven't yet. Um, what's the bike riders? The one where he's, they're like a motorcycle gang in the sixties. You know what? Boy. He has. He's really good in his Locke. He was good in Locke, but he was doing a weird accent in Locke too.

What was the one where he was like, uh, yeah, he was like Austrian. He's doing his weird, no, he's doing like a northerner where he's like, oh, here's always, yeah, he was like, no, he's doing like a Northern. Oh, here's the thing. I'm the ultimate and it was like, why'd you pick this guy? There was one where he was, it was a TV show and he was like a Peaky blinders. Now an explorer. And he had been to like the young Indiana Jones.

No, the new world. And he was just like a, uh, inscrutable sailor. Right. Yeah, taboo. Taboo. Yeah. Is that also crazy accent? Yeah, he has a weird accent. Not a single word.

Yeah. You would have been a good Ross. Yeah. Oh my God. We were on the break. It's true. He stole my sandwich. I tell you what, you're about to meet Red Ross

if you don't eat my sandwich. I don't know, I don't really care. You don't eat my sandwich. I tell you what, you're about to meet Red Ross if you don't eat my sandwich. I don't know, I don't really care. You don't eat my sandwich. You know I'm gonna be mad if you don't eat that sandwich. Anyway, Pharrell's great. Was it good? Was it good? It's a documentary.

Yeah. And it's like, they got so many people to be in it. Daft Punk was in it. I mean, like to be in it. Daft Punk was in it. I mean, like to be in it, I guess, but they're not in it because they're all Lego. Yeah. Lego Gwen Stefani and Lego, you know, you went to the same high school as Timbaland and Missy Elliott. Fucking cool.

High school. They're in it for one second each. They're like, yeah, we went to high school with them. End of cameo. So is it like their voices, they're actually like being interviewed and okay. But is it like them sitting? Yeah, that is a good- They're sitting as Legos?

Yeah, and it's weird, it's like- So funny. It's like a kind of nod of a use of the Lego form. There's one that's like- Are there little, sorry. Yeah, go's like. Are there little, sorry. Yeah, go for it. Are there little Lego like chairs that they're sitting in, in the interviews?

Yeah. Why wouldn't there be? Are they selling those sets now? Is there like a Missy Elliott on stores? Like a Missy Elliott, Gwen Stefani. Is there a Missy Elliott Lego figure you can buy now at the store? I don't know.

Did you, you know they made Lego movies before? They made actually a Lego Batman. And they sold the sets? But is there like a Pharrell's High School Friends Lego set? I know. You know what? The answer is no. But yeah, the weird one was like they interview his wife at like an hour into the movie like

why and the guy, the director is in it as Lego being like, oh, you don't give interviews. So I'm glad you actually did this. And then you don't see her. She's Lego. Yeah. And also maybe it could be her voice. Maybe not. I don't know what else way.

What does she have to say? Good guy like. So maybe it could be your voice. Maybe not. Exactly. I don't know what Pharrell's voice sound, what does she have to say? Good guy, I like him. Yeah, when I met him, he was very nice to me. So I married him. And he continues to be nice to this day. My biggest question, as a boy who's played with a lot of Lego,

can you now get Pharrell's hat in Lego? Yes, that is a good question. I would like all my little figures to have Pharrell's hat. Well, let's Google it right now. And also as a biopic that is like a weird, not featuring the people, like in physical form, how does it pair up against the Robbie Williams monkey movie? It wasn't as good. Dave has also seen, so there you go.

There you go. Um, there is only one Pharrell set. And it's a space spaceship. Oh, to commemorate that time Pharrell went to space. Of course. Which cookies do I choose? Oh, it's a rocket ship, but Pharrell's on the box? Pharrell's on the box,

is Pharrell one of the guys in that little. Must be, right? He's in a little space suit or something like that. They're showing it in like a lot of different, you could have it on a shelf, you could have it on a desk. There's a kid putting it together there. I'm guessing that might be Pharrell.

I don't think you can get Pharrell's hat. No, I think you're right. I think he can get, he gets a little space helmet. Do you remember when Pharrell wore the hat and then Arby's did like a tweet saying, hey, they stole our hat? I thought that was the best. That was a company like perfect moment, perfect time. Everybody's talking about Arby's. There was a moment where all the companies got on Twitter and were being sassy that I will admit I was like, this is a fun, this is a fun. This is

a fun use of the form. Wendy's is mean to everyone. Now I see it and I'm like, shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not fun anymore. It's not fun anymore. Yeah. It was fun when we knew that there was an intern doing it and it was fun. And yeah, this is for us. They were like, this is busy work. Go ahead, go out there and do your busy work. Watch trends and tweet on behalf of Wendy. Anyway, what's going on with you, Graham? I this week went to a bit of theater, and it's a type of theater that I don't think anybody would be surprised that I like, puppets. I went saw a puppet show,

and it was fucking fantastic. It's a guy who have've seen Papa chose from him before. He's like the guy in Canada. He's got like the order of the Canadian Empire or whatever thing you can have, Governor General Award. Casey and Finnegan? Yeah, it's Casey and Finnegan. It's just them though.

It's Mr. Dressel's not with us anymore. So they've just taken the act on the road TLC style. They're just Casey and Finnigan. What is this? Tell us about it. Okay, so this guy. When you say puppets, hand puppet? Both, hand puppet, marionette.

Marionette, wow. So this guy, his name's Ronnie Burkett. He makes his own puppets, so he carves them out of wood and like does all the painting and everything. And then he, this is the thing about it is like a block that's getting gentrified. So it's all the crazy characters that live on this block. So sort of an avenue cue. Little bit Avenue cue, little bit do the right thing. You know, it's just like this one thing

is pretty heavy for puppets. This puppet was, it was heavy. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, it's about an old guy getting evicted and where's he gonna live next and the whole neighborhood, they're gonna turn into condos. And anyways, it was great. The only thing that wasn't great is the tickets,

the seats that I got, terrible. What theater was that? It was at the Colch, the historic Colch. I feel like a puppet show, you wanna be close. Well, that's the thing. I thought it was close, but I realized I was out on the, I thought there was another level beyond me, but I bought whatever was available

because it sold out so fast. And, but I've got glasses now that I'm supposed to use for distance. For puppets? For puppets, all sorts of things, hand, marionette, finger. Meat.

Yeah. Of the penis. Yeah, but I forgot them. So I couldn't make out of the face of any of these puppets. Just looking at their body language all the time. Which is really what you need. Yeah, you did need a lot of it, yeah. Otherwise, it's just a vague felt shape. Yeah, that's, I could only make out like kind of a blurry face, I had to go on a website and look at what the

characters looked like after, but. Did you go with your wife? I did, I went with my wife, Sally. And could she make out of the faces? Yeah, of course. She's the she's you get her to describe. Yeah. What does that guy look like? She's like, he's got big eyebrows. They go up and down. Nothing else moves.

Yeah, there was no ventriloquist puppets in this. This was a this is strictly strictly like and but he makes these marionettes. And they're so intricate. I don't understand how many he can do that. Like characters in a scene. Like at one, he can only do two at once. He doesn't have a person? Yeah, he can only do two at once,

but he can have a third one standing there. Even Jim Henson at Frank Oz. That's right. And he didn't wanna work with me. He kept calling him Miss Piggy as well. Well, no, he did want to work with him because Miss Piggy was quite important. That's true.

But yeah, I went and saw a puppet show, Ask Me Anything. We have been. Did the puppets have belly buttons? That's a great question. They're all wearing clothes. Oh, no, yeah, they're all fully closed point thank God Oh my god, erotic part of it, but you know, I know I'm in King's felt desire was a

Humanoids their humanoids. Okay. No, no, you know jalapeno on a stick That's the thing like the umbrella of puppets is pretty inclusive. Yeah. That's very welcoming. Well, sometimes Jim Henson, like the Henson creature workshop would come out with a thing that they're like, we don't even know what this is. We just like the guy and it's just like a bit. It's a fraggle. Yeah. Humanoid is good. Yeah.

Humanoid. Were Yeah. Humanoid. Uh, were there any talking animals? No, but there was a dog that was incredible and could like shake off, uh, like how a dog would after being in the water or whatever. Was it dialogue heavy or very like. Dialogue heavy. Okay. Was there a lot of action?

There wasn't very much action. The dog was ruled that ran around and it was fantastic. But it's the old guy. So it's very slow moving. So nobody's running or anything. I go, oh, does somebody dance at some point? Maybe they do. Did anyone do like a,

it was like, no further questions. It's case dismissed. Do you think the guy's arms are super strong and jacked because he has to do this for like eight hours? But you see, he did this where he's reaching up and then he went upstairs and then he's the very end. Wow.

Yeah, he does it all this guy. Does he look like he has very developed shoulders? Man, I should have been looking. Do you see much of him? I have my glasses on so. Yeah, you feel like I have no idea. Is he well hidden or is he clearly part of it? Yeah, you can see him the whole time,

but it's amazing that eventually you're just watching the puppets and this dude controlling them. Anyways, it was fantastic. I don't know how many puppet theater shows there are touring around. What do you mean it sold out so fast? Like within minutes? Or these did you just-

I think within a day. Oh, okay. Yeah, but like he's there for like 10 days or something. Also- Why don't you go back another time? Because it was the last night. Oh. That's what I thought. I was like, I'll buy another ticket.

We'll go back. Get to see these muppets, whatever. This is a puppet's muppets, whatever. I bought my tickets this week to dog day at the NAAAT. Nice. Ever been to dog day? No, I don't know what that is. It's the Vancouver Canadians.

It's the one game a year where you can bring your dogs. Ooh. Yeah. To the baseball. Some dogs thrive, some dogs, it's too much. I'm not from here, so I don't know the Vancouver Canadians. Oh. So I just nodded and was like, yes, of course.

Yeah. Right. Dog Day's a good one to go to if you just want to pet some dog. You don't necessarily have to have a dog. That sounds like a great time. So there's baseball going on, all the accoutrement associated with baseball,

and the dogs, and I assume families. Families, sure, yeah. Well, no, actually they've split up families. You're not allowed to sit with your family. All the kids over here, dogs over there, you gotta pick. The last time I went, there was a wiener dog dressed like a hot dog, and I just thought,

well, this is just the best place for that, to be at a ball game. When's that? What's the date? I think there was a wiener dog dressed like a hot dog and I just thought well, this is just the best place for that This is to be at a ball game When's that what's the date? I think there's two there's one in June and one in July going twice then going twice And good luck to our team Vancouver Canadians who won last day. Do you do one the series? Come on, yes, Spokane. You're killing me Are you a Canadian's fan? No, I mean, like I'm a fan of going out to a night of baseball.

Yeah. Yeah. You baseball fan? No, not at all. I could barely tell you how it works. My dad loves it. That was never a point of connection between you and your father.

He watched every sport. So I had to pick the ones that I could understand what was happening. Which ones? I like hockey, I like football. I like boxing. Hard to not understand boxing. Yeah, boxing's pretty, and you're just a 50-50 shot.

You just pick somebody at the end of the shot and- You go, I like your shorts. And then he loses and you go, well, drat. And then he wants- Did you switch shorts with the other guy? Because I do like those shorts. Those are winner shorts. Yeah, and then you switch and you go, well, he actually do like those shorts. Those are winter shorts. Yeah.

And then, yeah, you switch and you go, well, he actually had cooler shoes. I would love that better than a belt that they bring out shorts that you get to wear. We're shorts and a belt. That would work. The winner gets just a giant billowing pair of and ones. And you're like, you get to show these off. And ones. Football is a harder one to understand, I think.

Cause there's like. Football's a little more complex. It's like, why do they have to get rid of the ball? Why is the clock stopped? It's like a series of tiny battles in the game itself is a war. Which is kind of fun when you think about it that way. So true. If Napoleon was alive now, he would be Bill Belichick.

That's a hot take. I've said that many times. If Napoleon was alive now, he would be Bill Belichick would be like, that would be the Wellington. That's how you would get a kid interested in history. Yeah. Like, you know, Bill Belichick. Or alternatively get the jocks to stop beating up a history. Picture a kid in high school that's just history.

Is his name- Buddy, his name is Miles Anderson and I knew him. Past guest, Miles Anderson, yes. We went to high school together. Did you? Yeah. Was he- He was the exact same person. So picture that in a modern high school.

Was he a band guy? I feel like he would have been a band guy. That not even, nope. No? He was his own orbit. Wow. Where people were like, there's the guy that does Monty Python quotes and plays piano.

There you go. I can see those. That makes sense together. Yeah. What were you in high school? What would he say about you? I had slick back hair, leather jacket, Corvette. Hey, I'm a bike rider. It's me the bike rider. I died in the 60s, came back to haunt the guy I used to bully later. That kind of thing. Yeah. You haunted the guy who used to bully later. You know? That kind of thing. Yeah. You haunted the guy who bullied?

No, I wanted to, the guy I bullied, yeah. It was a sometimes they come back thing, and then the movie ended differently and I just kind of continued. But sometimes they come back. It's a- You guys don't know Redwall and sometimes they come back?

I thought you guys would have picked up on that one. It was a Stephen King story about a guy whose bullies all died in a car accident. And then he becomes a teacher. And then some of the students are exactly like his old bullies. And he's like, what the heck? And it turns into just a very fun ghost story.

And it got a pretty fun, I think made for TV adaptation, which is now on Shudder. Oh, nice. Yeah. Love Shudder. I love Shudder too. Big fan of Shudder. Yeah. Everybody shout out to Shudder. Shout out to Shudder. Oh, nice. Yeah. Love Shudder. I love Shudder too. Big fan of Shudder. Yeah.

Everybody shout out to Shudder. Shout out to Shudder. Shout out to the Primevils on Shudder. Have you watched that one? No. It's so fun. Yeah, I feel like you would like it. Yeah, the Primevils.

So it's stop motion. Like, like, I'm already interested. I'm sold. Like the California raisins. Kind of. Yeah.

Like the sledgehammer video. It's like the, like the Ar Raisins? Kind of. Like the Sledgehammer video? It's like the Argonauts. Like the Jason and the Argonauts. Like a Ray Harryhausen kind of. So it's a guy who was like kind of of that ilk. And then he wrote it in the 60s, could never find funding. And then in the 90s, he finally got some funding to do a made for TV movie.

And then he passed away suddenly. Oh shit. In his 50s. And then his like friends and protegees and stuff. Cause apparently he was like the guy in that field. They just like worked forever. And then there was a, like a GoFundMe. And they raised enough money to just kind of like push it over the finish line.

Oh nice. And it's, so it was written in the 60s. All of the live action. Don't tell it again. So a lot of that stuff doesn't hold up. It's like crazy. Yeah, it's, so it was written in the sixties, all of the live action. Don't tell it again, a lot of that stuff doesn't hold up. Like crazy, yeah, it's nuts. Like every death scene, somebody has a monologue

and they're just like, and for the more, it's a very clunky. Just slur after slur after slur. There is, and then it was shot in the nineties. So there's like a Nepalese character who's just like a white chick with like a tan. And you're like, okay. Okay, all right. It's sort of those joins you kind of-

So it's not all claymation. No, no, no. It's live action with the monsters. It's live action and it looks very made for TV. And then the claymation and like all the special effects are all like practical like claymation and very fun. Like lizard people, lot of yetis. I'm in. I'm in. I'm all the way in. Primeval.

But there is a caveat of like, you do have to take certain things in a lot of yetis. I'm in, I'm in, I'm all the way in. Primeval. Um, but I do, there is a caveat of like, you do have to take certain things into consideration of what it was made and who wrote it. Have you seen that thing where Stephen King, when he's talking on Conan, telling the story about writing a story, he has this story that he wrote where it's a man and his wife at an airport and she needs to use the washroom and she uses the washroom, doesn't come out.

And another couple, one goes to the washroom, she doesn't come out. And then it just escalates and escalates and escalates. Now there's like a hundred people in the bathroom and Stephen King stopped writing it because he's like, I don't know what's happening. He's like, I got this far. Oh man.

Do you guys want to move on to some over herds? Sure. In two weeks. Two weeks. Put on your gecko shorts and grab your pods. We're celebrating Max Fun Drive, 90's style. Support the shows you love. And get some rad retro themed gifts.

Meetup day day bonus content and more so don't miss it on the World Wide Web March 17 somewhere in an alternate universe where Hollywood is smarter. And the Emmy nominees for outstanding comedy series are Jet Packula, Airport Marriott, Thrupple, Dear America We've Seen You Naked, and Allah in the Family. In our stupid universe, you can't see any of these shows, but you can listen to them on Dead Pilot Society, the podcast that brings you hilarious comedy pilots that the networks and streamers bought but never made. Journey to the alternate television universe of Dead Pilot Society on MaximumFun.org.

Overheard. Overheard. When you hear them, you know what they're saying. We always like to start with the guest Darcy. Do you have an overheard? I do. Okay. I was leaving a comedy show and right as I left, it was an open mic. Somebody got on the stage and they opened their set with, we owe Limp Bizkit a huge apology. Yeah. And then I was like, a hundred

percent. Yeah. Great premise. Yeah. There was no follow up, but that was, I was like, all right. Good way to start. Good way to, I think I'm going to open most conversations with that. I'm like, all right. Good way to start. Good way to, I think I'm going to open most conversations with that. And what's the apology we owe them? He was, and then they were just talking about how, you know, Limp Bizkit's awesome.

I was like, yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. It was some way, he just kind of wanted to get to like Nookie somehow. Sure. And then he was like, I've done a lot of things for Nookie. And I was like, okay, I've heard this premise before, but just the sentence, we owe Limp Bizkit.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, they had incredible success. I would argue they've had a lot of ups and downs. Sure. But in the age of Gen Z seems to really like the fusion of hip hop and metal. Oh really? Who was there first?

Yeah. Who was there first? I like the fact that this is- Limpin' with the Biscuit. Coming back around. Yeah. Cause, you know, I feel like it needs an encore. It's not Kid Rock per se, but what is your, like, rock rap bands? Kid Rock, I feel like is unfortunately in the canon. He's in the- Tragically, he is in the conversation.

I thought you were going to say tragically hip. I don't know that. Don't tell me what that part. That's not bad. I was gonna try to find a way to hip hop and then I was like, I'm gonna stop this here. Yeah, no, Graham, drop a beat. Dang it, dang it, dang it, dang it. And I'll do weird guitar noises.

Okay. Hey, with the bop, bop, bop, now you rap. Don't tell me what that part is. Don't tell me what that is. Stop, stop, stop, stop, bot, the bot, the I was at home Depot. Yup. Uh, love that place. Yeah. What's, uh, what's your shopping for there?

I was looking for some things. We have a very slippery step outside and I wanted like a little grippy strip. Yeah. And I could not find them. There are the websites that are, uh, aisle 22 Bay 20. They weren't there. Shit. Maybe they're all 20 Bay 22.

Uh, but I was looking for someone to help Shit. Maybe they were aisle 20, bay 22. Oh. But I was looking for someone to help me. No one would help me. Really? I thought they were kind of good at that. Well, they were just, I couldn't find anyone. Oh, shit. Like the-

They were hiding. They were hiding. Yeah. And then by the time when I, so I turned around a corner and there were these two kind of like dirt baggy looking dudes. Sure. It's funny, like the way you get followed around And there are these two kind of like dirt baggy looking dudes.

Sure. It's funny, like the way you get followed around in a store hasn't changed. Like styles change, but having a giant oversized coat and giant pants, baggy pants falling down, you're going to get followed around a store in the 90s, the 2000s. Put a whole drill in there. No, you know, no problem. And so there were these two guys dressed like that and a woman working there said, can I help you? And the guy goes, yeah, you can help the guys watching me.

Cause he was like, why am I getting followed around? Well, you are. Yeah, and it's like, man, yeah. Guys with huge baggy pants, you're gonna follow them around. Why are we getting followed around? I just want to purchase this giant DeWalt saw that I'm trying to gonna follow them around. Why are we getting followed around? I just wanna purchase this giant DeWalt saw that I'm trying to shove in my coat.

Why are you guys being weird? And it was, I did a bit like, but she like, there were two of these guys, she kinda had to deal with both of them and then finally she was like, and how can I help you to me? I'm like, well. You got these griffy things or don't you?

Yeah, one of these griffy things. Oh, here they are. Oh shit, yeah, I know when it's like right on the shelf behind you. No, it was, she showed me where they were. They were the wrong size, but the website says they had the right size, so I had to find her again and be like.

Your website says. Your website says. And? I got them. Yeah, installed? Installed. Nice. I'm gonna throw a crazy idea, and you guys feel free to tell me no.

Okay. While they were all watching those sketchy guys, you should have stolen the grippy strips. I know, if I could have found them, baby, I would have. It's a red herring. These are my guys I bring in the store. All right, back in the truck, boys. These are my goons.

Is it Canadian Tire or Home Depot that has the scary dude at the checkout? I think it's Canadian Tire. Canadian Tire has the scary guy. Like a full-fledged bouncer looking guy. Ooh. Yeah, and you do not wanna piss him off. What do you do with that one? You kinda want him to think you're cool.

Yeah. Yeah. And I've tried some different moves and nothing yet. You can't razzmatazz though. I'm trying. You do the worm, right? I do the worm up to the toe. No nipples, no belly button. Just make your way over.

What about you? My overheard comes courtesy of Mark Chavez. We were doing a show at the Vancouver Club and he was in the audience while I was on stage and I did a joke about Poutine and a lady next to him, an older lady went, it's disgusting. She said next to him, an older lady went, it's disgusting. She said it to him? To herself. It's disgusting.

Oh, he overheard it. Yeah, he overheard this lady saying it. But I like how she was Harvey Fierstein. Yeah. It's rebel. We had a, sometimes people like write to us about things we said on the show and someone was like, Dave, I know Dave doesn't like poutine, but you should try this.

I never said I don't like it. Yeah, you like poutine. I like poutine. Here's my problem with it. Oh, that it's slimy? No, that it's, they do it in a, they should do it on a tray where you can evenly distribute the toppings. Cause you get it in a bowl at the bottom of the bowl. Nothing's been touched by the gravy or the cheese.

Yeah. You should get like the end of a milkshake. You should have like gravy you can pour in. It's like nachos. It's like if you get a big pile of nachos. You want them baked different layers. Yeah. Your gravy is far too thick.

That is some thick gravy. If you want to even touch in the bottom. Yeah. You want a thinner gravy. You want it to make its way down. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. You got to save touch in the bottom. Yeah, you want a thinner gravy. You want it to make its way down. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah. You got to save some curds on the side while you're- We should be able to go up and go, oh, can I get a double poutine thin gravy? Yeah, it says on your website you have it, so. Um, you had another one? I had one more. Okay.

This one's kind of kooky. I was on the- All right! Mysterious, ooky, here we go. We did it all for the kooky. All right. I was on the ferry traveling back to the island, to Nanaimo and I went to the, the white spot cafe that they have and I was eating a BC burger. There you go. Not endorsed, but just a fan.

It's a good burger. I'm sitting there eating a good burger. It was like, I was like having a good day. It was like cold, wet. And I was like, just eating a burger. And I was like, life is good. This is good. And it was just kind of grimy after the meal.

And I was like, I'm gonna go get some coffee. And I was like, I'm gonna go get some coffee. And I was like, I'm gonna go get some coffee. And I was like, I'm gonna go get some coffee. And I was like, I'm gonna go eating a good burger. I was, it was like, I was like having a good day. It was like cold, wet. And I was like, just eating a burger. And I was like, life is good. This is good. And it was just kind of grind me out and very gruff men were, it was just like kind of a mid midweek, midday sale. And there's like very gruff dude just kind of

starts shouting across like the dining area. And it was like, I don't remember what, but like says this guy's name, like Shane McBrasler. And then the other guy just like looks over and he's like, Shane McBrasler. And he's like, do I know you? And he goes, you shot me. Wow. And then like, he's like, do I know you? And then he's like, do you still know Kevin? He was like, I know Kevin. And then they sat together and like, these guys weren't that old. Like they were like, I haven't shot a bunch of guys. Well, it was also like, might've been my home depot guys.

Yeah. Bouncing. Yeah. And then they sat together and like, you know, they were like, I they were like 40. Right, I've been shot a bunch of times. Well, it was also like- These might've been my Home Depot guys. Yeah, with the bouncer. And yeah, it was like, how many people have you shot

that you don't even know which one this is? That's a real old West style. It was some rootin' tootin' saloon business. And then they hung out for the rest of the ferry ride and I followed them. What did they look like? Big, fat, big bellies. Somebody who could absorb a bullet.

Somebody who looks like a bullet could get lost in their system. Just goes into the bloodstream. Somebody who looks very strong. They looked like- Magneto pulls it out. That's the only way. I mean, yeah, if you guys had seen the movie,

that would have hit pretty hard. Which X-Men was it in? Two, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I've seen all of them. They just didn't- X-Two, X-Men United. I saw the first one.

I think I saw the first three. One- Then they started time traveling. Three was Brett Ratner. It was terrible. Time traveling one was great. When did Kelsey Grammer come into the picture? Was that the second one?

He came in three, I'm pretty sure. That's the best. That's the best one. Was Nightcrawler still in that one? I think he was. Two of the best blue guys. They were, those were some blue boys. Well, Rebecca Romaine was one of the blue guys as well.

Who was she? She was in two. She's the one to put the blood in the guy's system. What was her name again though? Mesquite. Mesquite. Mesquite. Mesquite.

Mesquite. Smoking. Where did. Mesquite. Mesquite. Smoking. Where'd you put the smoke in the guy's bloodstream? That is, we need, now that we're like combining all these franchises together, they should really just put The Mask in just regular Marvel franchises. Yeah, The Mask.

Somebody pointed that out that the comic book, he becomes a serial killer when he puts The Mask on. It's super dark. Yeah. But they figured out a way to make it for kids. Oh well. Great movie. Yeah.

I want to see a gritty Ruby. That's, you know, that's just me. It exists and it's called son of the mask. Oh yeah. Starring Jamie Kennedy. Which, uh, it's a real debate whether which one's better, you know, only one of them had Jamie Kennedy.

Yeah. Only one won best picture. Uh, now we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the world. Are the Razzies still happening? Oh yeah. I think so. Yeah. Not that long ago.

Cause like, it's kind of a cool thing if you're the subject of it to show up. Yeah. Is it still? It shows. Yeah. Do we still need it? They issued an apology because they gave one to Bruce Willis and then Bruce Willis was like, I have dementia and they were like, I'm sorry.

He's just like trying to provide. He's like, am I going to win it or I take the trophy? Here are your nominees this year. Borderlands. Ooh yeah, terrible. Joker Foliadou, Madam Webb. Madam Webb's so bad. Megalopolis.

I didn't see Megalopolis. And Reagan. Oh God, Reagan. What a year we have for movies that the Oscars are really good and the Razzies are phenomenal. What a year we have for movies that the Oscars are really good and the Razzies are phenomenal. Yeah. These are truly bad movies.

I've only seen three best picture of the 10 best pictures in the Oscars that I've seen two of the worst pictures. Which ones? I saw Megalopolis and Madame Webb. Madame Webb should win. I haven't seen the other ones, but there's no way they can out bad.

Borderlands is a train wreck. Yeah? Is it based on a video game? Yes out bad. Borderlands is a train wreck. Yeah. Yeah. Is it based on a video game? Yes. Okay. Those are, those are always kind of hard.

And it looks expensive. Like Jack Black voices a robot. Like it's, it's a Jack Black money. Yeah. He doesn't voice a robot for less than 10,000 dollars. It's starring, it's starring Kate Blanchett. Um, we love her. I know.

Yeah. We stan Kate. And she's in this awful film. It's crazy thatate Blanchett. We love her. I know. Yeah, we stan Cate. And she's in this awful film. It's crazy that she's in it. There's sometimes all the elements are there. They just don't squeeze together. You know, it's a collaborative process. Exactly.

So that's what makes it so compelling is that we're all trying to reach this vision, but what is the vision? What is the vision? What are we even talking about? Yeah. I'm just here cashing a paycheck. Now we also have over-heards sent in to us by people all over. You want to send one, you can send it in to sbyatmaximumfund.org.

This first one is a bit of graffiti. No, this isn't graffiti. This is on a small basketball hoop toy. So my friend's got his kid a small toy basketball hoop from a flea market. The blackboard said a bunch of inspiring words printed on it like, shoot, jump. But the biggest words in all caps was surmount.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Come on, kids. Overcome. That's right.

Decimate. Yeah, surmount, sure. Fancy a word, you know, but... That's a weirdly gritty child. Yeah. It will surmount. It will surmount, I think. I feel like it went through a translator. Oh, yeah, definitely. Like, this was probably originally a French hoop.

That's why it was, you could find it in the flea market, French hoops. Lance, float. This next one is a graffiti. This is an ad, it's from Izzy from Montreal, an ad for Bixie bikes. Do we know what Bixie bikes are? They're like rentable bikes.

Yeah, like they were the original, you know. Like, hard to go, but for bikes. Yeah, like the whatever Shaw bikes we have here. But they've got, they had them way long ago, right? Oh yeah. Yeah, Montreal's on it. Bixie might even run our local bikes, just with their name. Oh, yeah.

I think it's just a bike sharing mammoth behemoth. It goes all the way to the top. This is an ad for Bixie bikes. Add 69 written on it and beneath, nice. Pardon me. It's such a funny number. 69, but 96, hardly, that's not fun at all. Well, it's like you got your backs to each other.

What are you gonna suck? What? Sorry Yeah, yeah, right. It's double suck. It's zero suck. It's a zero suck game This last one comes from Alice in Chicago over Alice in Chicago. Yeah, it's not a weird name I mean and where's she from Boston? Allison Chicago. Yeah, it's not a weird name. I mean and where's she from Boston Overheard on a residential street in Chicago two guys in their mid 20s were crossing an intersection The first guy pointed down the across the street and asked, you know, what's on that block? And the other one responded isn't there a 7-eleven at the end and the first guy shakes his head goes no

That's the block where I jumped off a porch Remember the big day? They dedicated this block to me. That's somebody who knows exactly where they belong. Yeah. That's somebody who's like, right here, baby. This is, this, come on. This is my neighborhood. Yeah, it's the Chicago way. They bring up a porch, you bring a set of jumping juice.

Allison, stop solving crimes. We got to have a barbecue. I assume. Also, it's like it's his territory, right? Like I work this corner. Oh, yeah. That's my perch, porch, either. Alice in Chicago.

Who are the people who have last names? Dr. Detroit, Carl in San Diego. Steve Houston. Mr. New York? That feel like. That's Pitbull you're thinking of. Oh, he's Mr. Steve Houston. Mr. New York. That feel like- That's Pitbull you're thinking of. Oh, he's Mr. Worldwide. Mr. Worldwide.

Yeah. Who's Mr. San Francisco or Mr. San Francisco? Also imagining the circumstances that a guy jumped off a porch, like somebody litters and he's like, not in my hood, and then does like a $6 million man. Like he pives off a porch. Yeah, he jumps back up onto the porch. Also, he could just be one of those guys that films videos of him like jumping through a table. They feel like there's a guy that does that. That's his whole...

Super, super human. Super human. Yeah. He always goes in his belly and always gets hurt. Yeah. He's awesome. Yeah. I love him. But do you think he's getting hurt for real? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Because he's just like, all right, I'm going to jump. But he was like, I'm going to throw my elbow into this toaster and we'll just like do it. And then clearly be injured and then be like, thanks for watching. And I'm like, you're the greatest guy on the internet. Yeah. I saw one where he jumped on a box fan. That was running at the time.

You'll jump into Lego. Yeah. Like he clearly just injures himself. He loves wrestling. He's awesome. If I threw my elbow into a toaster, I'd take it out and put some butter on it. Maybe a little everything but the bagel. Yeah, some jam, maybe get some preserves around.

I think it is, if I throw my elbow into a toaster, maybe it'll get me back my hot pox. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, SpyPod one like these people have. Hello Kings of Boko, impossible guest. Hell yeah. This is Philip in the West. I'm phoning in and overseeing at the Thawson Ferry Terminal parking lot on Family Day

weekend. I spotted a sticker on the back of a pickup truck which I initially thought might have said something like, identify as a Prius or something, but it actually read, no babies on board. Feel free to slam into me. All right, off I go. Nice. Yeah.

Yeah. like I identify as a Prius or something, but it actually read, no babies on board. Feel free to slam into me. All right, off I go. Nice. Yeah. I'm not one of those uptight guys, like driving to my truck. That's a real bad ass. Hit me.

Yeah. If you had only one chance at a bumper sticker, what would it say? Like one, like, cause I mean, there's my other car. You only get one shot. That's right. It's a low stakes eight mile. One shot, whatever.

You get one shot to name a bumper sticker. Yeah, it's about a guy who's got a bumper sticker idea. It's got a freestyle of bumper sticker. Yeah. Any idea? Trapped in trunk, dog driving, call cops. Love it. Love it.

Great, you came up with that, it was so easy. Dave, bumper sticker. We already know my bumper sticker idea is, if you can read this, back up onto those left turn sensors. That's a big bumper sticker. Yeah. In really small print though,

because you know that you're close enough to- Yes. Yeah, yeah. Mine would just say C-Fox. I'm not sure if I'd qualify for that. Fox rocks. Yeah. Next, yeah. Mine would just say C-Fox. Oh, sure, yeah. And I'll be qualified for that. Fox rocks. Yeah. Yeah.

Next phone call. Hey, this is Markham in Utah. I was just driving to work and a truck passed me for a business called Operation Poop Freedom. That's the name of the business. And I had a trucking dog in a soldier's outfit Poop Freedom, that's the name of the business. They have a, a dog in a soldier's outfit with a helmet and everything, throwing out a peace sign. Apparently they come to your house and they pick up poop.

So no freaking way. Off I go. Yeah. Operation Poop Freedom. So it's letting dogs go where they want? Let dogs be free, yes. Operation Poop Freedom. So it's letting dogs go where they want. Let dogs be free, man. If you have a dog that you just let in your backyard to go to the bathroom and you know wanna pick it up,

they'll come to your house and clean up your yard. That's nice. I mean, it's nice of you to offer up your yard too. That guy sounded like Steve MRE, who is a YouTuber who reviews MRE foods and frequently eats MREs from like World War I and II. Sounded exactly like that guy. All right.

Shout out to Steve MRE. People at home know what I'm talking about. Absolutely. Yeah. He's no guy jumping into objects, but he's. He's equally endangered. You know what MRE stands for? Nope.

It's a ration thing. That's what I think. Meals ready to eat. I think so. I was going to say manburgers and root beer. Everybody. Anyway, theburgers and root beer. Yes. Everybody. Anyway, the guy called back. Okay.

Hey, this is Mark. I'm not calling again. I just called about the opposition to freedom. I just looked it up and apparently that's not the name of the business. The name of the business is Scoop Soldiers. Never leave a pile behind. Slogan, all right.

Scoot Soldiers. Scoop Soldiers. Scoop Soldiers. Never leave a pile behind. About a month ago, our phone calls got harder to understand. I think something happened to their service and I've complained to them and they're just. Like they're more, they're tinier. They're tinier. If anyone out there wants to just send us a voice memo

from your phone, sby at maximumfund.org. It is more fun to get it from a phone though, you know. Oh yeah. But we don't want you to, we don't, yeah. Don't make a barrier. Yeah, like there's some that I'm like, oh, is this good enough to listen to? There's been more that I have to reject

just on technical grounds lately. And I hate to have to do that. So, yeah. Level up everybody. Yeah, but also if you're listening from our message provider company, respond to my emails. These calls are getting worse. Come on.

Come on, you guys. You've got a reputation to protect, right? All right, here's our final phone call. Hi, Dave Graham and powerful guest. This is Sarah in Fort Collins, Colorado, calling in with an over-esteem from years ago, but I think about it all the time. I was sitting in a light and I watched the guy

pull a pint of Ben & Jerry's out of a grocery bag and open it. I don't know, it was very slow. It seemed very sad. Open it and then just eat it, like with his teeth scraping it. No spoon, just like going after it for a while, just a long night. Yeah, very sad, very funny. Anyway, off I go.

Love you. Love you too. Love you too. Raw dog and some ice cream, no scoop. With just your front teeth. I mean, now that I've heard it, sounds great. Yeah. I think I do it.

Yeah? Yeah, we were drunk and he went to a quarter store and he was like, I'm gonna get some snacks. And I was like, okay. And then he came out with just like a pint of Ben and Jerry's and I was like, and then he just pulled it off and just started like, oh. He to get some snacks. And I was like, okay. And then he came out with just like a pint of Ben and Jerry's and I was like, and then he just pulled it off and just started like, Oh, yeah. Do it like an apple.

You can't get that far with just your teeth. Yeah. Your, your face is. You kind of have to peel it off as you went. Yeah. Yeah. Or just throw it out because you're drunk. Or like if it starts to melt, you can squish it up like a push pop.

Yeah. Yeah. When I've been in like, whenever I go to like a smaller town where I'm worried that there's not gonna be anything open to eat, I always get like- Bring an MRE. Yeah, what are they? Are they in cans or are they in boxes? What are these?

They're in bags and they come with self-heating pouches that you just have to add water. Oh. Canada's got a bunch, we have great- Self-heating? Yeah. So they're in a bag and then, Steve could explain this a lot better than I ever could.

You mean Markham from Utah? But yeah, you like add water and then you just eat it up and then like, you know, it's just kind of like omelets and stuff like that. Also go great in a safety package for an earthquake emergency. Oh, I'm sure. MREs. Oh, really? Yeah. Is this all like freeze dried or something? Yeah, everything's shelf stable. Canada's got some great ones. Do you mean like, are they military issued?

Usually ours are military issued, but sometimes they're just for emergencies and stuff like that. But sometimes you can buy them, I think oftentimes you can buy them online after they've expired or just they're like, all right, we have new ones, so we're going to sell these in surplus. Yeah. And then, yeah, Canada's are cute. Ours always come with a KitKat and a little thing of Powerade. That's cute. Yeah, it's pretty cute. And sometimes a Coffee Crisp.

Oh, that is. That's as Canadian as it gets. That's pretty cute. When you're like in a battle zone and you're like, I get a little Coffee Crisp. They got poutine? I think. It's disgusting.

Yeah. Disgusting. It's disgusting. Anyway, Toronto, come see Graham on March 16th. He'll do that poutine joke. Absolutely. Oh wait, no he won't. He's doing Instagram. He'll do that poutine joke. Absolutely. Oh wait, no, he won't. He's doing Instagram. I'll do the joke. I'm fine. And yeah, Darcy, thank you so much for being our guest.

Thank you for having me. Sorry. What do you mean? Oh, it's about all of it. No, you were great. That was good. I had a great time. This was a ton of fun. I feel like this was a very local reference heavy one. And then hearing callers from Utah and Boston, I was like, I forgot you guys have an international audience.

Yeah, they love. Alison Chicago was not from Boston actually. Alison Chicago sounds like a pseudonym that Sacha Baron Cohen came up with in The Dictator. I don't know. He had Alison Burgers. I am, my references are dying today. Well, you're like, you say, Sajid Baron Cohen, we're like, okay, here comes one of his popular movies.

The dictator is great. I would stand by that. It's fine, but it's, it's not what he's known for. Yeah, he didn't do well. Well, that's great. Yeah. Do you have anything, anything, where can people find you online? You can find me on Instagram. I have a, I have a very small, do you have anything, anything, where can people find you online? You can find me on Instagram. I have a very small following.

I have like a thousand followers. I don't really, I'm not great at social media. So you don't put anything up there, is that what you're saying? I'm trying to get into clips, but my God, is it a wearisome and tedious process. Oh, stand up clips? Yeah. Yeah.

My hat's off to anybody who does it, but. A lot of my friends are doing it with, with aplomb. They're doing it with great success. Oh, good for them. But, uh, but yeah, I know I'm, I'm online and you can catch me touring regionally. Yeah. When are you, when are you going, where are you going to Castlegar? Yeah, we have a, we're doing the BC in you tour coming up. Uh, I think it's in, what is it?

March. Uh, if you live in BC and you see BC in you coming to your town, I am on that tour and I'm going to be doing my little yolks. Nice. And yeah. Little yolks for where you're from. My little yolks, which is what I am all about. Little yolks from a very sick chicken.

This sick chicken's going to be doing some little yolks. This guy's one sick chicken. And I would like to promote, I am a guest on our friends, the Evil Men podcast. We did an episode all about the evil Eric Clapton. Yes, that's such a good one. Oh, I can't wait, I can't wait. Love that podcast. Cannot wait for that episode.

Is that the one's coming out this week? Dude, it's out. It's out? Yeah. And I like listening to it when I'm washing the dishes. When you're doing busy work? Yeah, yeah. Friends is more, there was a Friends podcast

I would listen to. Did you guys ever see David Schwimmer go on Shark Tank? No. He went on, his friend had- He was like pitching? His friend was pitching his like pancake mix. And he was like, I'm Dave Schwimmer. Call me Dave.

And my friend is, this is his company. I have nothing to do with it, but I just want you to know, I love these pancakes. We call them Schwimmer's flippers. Yeah. And then I went on and I said, pancakes should be free. They're like, how do you make money with this Dave? I don't, I just wanted to tell you guys. I just think it's like, they're not worth anything.

Well, a little dollar pancakes, they're worth something, a little silver dollars. Yeah, that's what they call them. One of my top tweets ever was the first day of pancake making school. They tell you, forget everything you know about the size of silver dollars. And you know what? You're bringing the heat to blue sky these days.

One tweet a week on blue sky. Well, everybody, if you like the podcast, please listen in. You know, listen to Dave's podcast he's doing this week. Listen to all the podcasts is what I'm trying to say. And Max Fun Drive's coming up in a couple weeks. Listen to that podcast. That's something for you to listen to then.

We love you very much and it's been a pleasure to watch you grow up and come back next week for another episode of Stop By Guys of Yourself. [♪ Music Playing! A song by the band The Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the

Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the Bugs and the