Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 888 - Alicia Tobin

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

Comedian Alicia Tobin returns to talk loungers, Mickey 17, and sneaky reservations. Plus, it’s week 2 of MaxFunDrive 2024. Support the show at maximumfun.org/join. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 888 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who I know I'm excited, I know he's excited. It's Max Fun Drive time, Mr. Dave Schumpke.

Yeah, it's the first second episode. It's the first second episode. It's the first second episode. Max Fun Drive, you're going to get two second episodes of this. No, this is it. One first episode, one second episode. Well, yeah, this is the second episodes of this. No, this is it. One first episode, one second episode. Well, yeah, this is the second episode of it. We're gonna talk to you about how you can support the show

a little bit later. This is the last week where we're gonna talk about it. All next week, we'll probably say, hey, thanks for all your support. Yeah, and then like- We might not. If you don't support us, we might not thank anyone. We might do a separate recording of thanks

and just send it out to the people who support who deserve it Yeah, who deserve it? That's right. Also is episode 888 which is I? Mean if you want to go back in time That's how many miles per hour you have to hit a lot if you want to go back in time You have to go 888 like extra you want to go ten times extra back in time. You have to go 8, 8, 8. Like extra. If you wanna go 10 times extra back in time plus 8, then you gotta go, bop, bop, bop, bop. Bop, bop, bop.

Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Our guest today, one of our all time favorites, one of the all time greats. She's so funny. So great to have her here. It's Alicia Tobin. Hello. Hey, hi Bumpers.

How you doing? I'm great. You look great. You look better. Iin. Hello. Hey, hi Bumpers. How you doing? I'm great. You look great. Never been better. I like your scarf. I like your whole vibe today. Well thanks, I've got it at a garage sale that was at my own apartment building.

Nice. For $2. It's very old. It's made of, stop talking, Alicia. It's made of what? Polyester. It's gotta be polyester. Was it a garage sale?

Was it like a yard sale? Yeah. We did a building yard sale last summer. It was pretty good. It was good. Yeah. A lot of good stuff. Sally brought a lot of stuff.

She did. Yeah, that's where I heard about it. Yeah. It was a... What's Sally? She calls me after every episode, something's wrong with Graham. Did he even mention the garage sale?

No, he did. Oh, it's fine. I feel like we ended up, all of us ended up with stuff from each other's house, which was very funny. You have a stepladder from my house now. Great. Did you?

It's a great stepladder, everybody. It's one of the best. Was it three foot, six foot, 10 foot? It's one of those like cool like Ikea. Six foot, seven foot. It's just two step. There, I got it. You got it.

Here we go. The- Is it from plastic? Plastic. Did you have sodas- I think it's called the Master B. At the dry sale? It helps you Master B?

Oh, Dave. What did you say? It's called the Master B. Okay, well I'm not that wrong. You weren't at all. I'm gonna go Master B. Sally brought sodas. That was her idea. Yeah, I like the garage sale or something like that.

So there's brownies. Well, you guys are garage sale pros. You love a garage sale. Fiends. Queens. We're queens. We're queen fiends of the garage sale scene. How do you feel about garage sales, Dave?

I'm looking on the fence about them. I don't partake. Yeah, I see them around. A lot of people putting up signs on the Boulevard saying garage sales Saturday 10 to 2, no early birds. Does Abby go to garage sales? No, not at all. Non-garage sale house. Well, maybe one of your daughters will get into it. You know, just to rebel. Oh, yeah, they'll get into it when we die and then you just sell out all your stuff. And I'll be there. I have my eye on something.

Sure. Should we get to Noah's? Yar. Get to Noah's. Alicia. What's that? I love Dave's organizing thing. Oh yeah.

Oh, that's cool. It's a thing, a guy who makes coats, this is what he makes to show all the different kinds of pockets he can do. Oh, that's so cool. And it looks like military style. Is it military style or is it just the color? It's just the color.

Just the color. It's a- Oh, I just love it, Dave. Yeah. I hope that's in the grass. It's in the grass, It is in the grass. Oh my God. When will you die?

I guess I could just snap a picture and get my own. Yeah, what's, what's, what's happening? Tell us all about it. I don't have a job. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, so. Oh my God, you got fired. I got laid up.

You got fired for insubordination. I definitely got quiet fired, I would say. I was quiet quitting and they beat me too. It's like quiet firing me. Yeah, I've been off work. It's been great. I can't complain. I actually think this is the happiest

I've been in a long time. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I don't think I realized how burnt out I was from everything. And I don't mean just everything, I mean everything. It was such a slow build up to the point where I don't remember a lot of the last five years because I was just in survival mode.

So apologies to the listeners for all the kind of shitty episodes. Yeah, we've been saying that, Sally's been calling and saying, Alicia's episodes have been so shitty for the last five years. She's in survival mode. Yeah.

Totally. Yeah, exactly. You took the words right out of her mouth. Yeah. I've just been a retired person for the past five months. When you left, how much stuff was on your desk? How much? A big box of stuff, just a couple of little trinkets? It took me a full morning to clear it all off and recycle things. We had nice merch that over the years I collected on my desk.

I would put it in the kitchen with a note that says free. And then as soon as I walked past, it was again. Alisha used to work for Judas Priest. And they had a lot of really cool merch. It was really cool. But you can see one would get burnt out working for Judas Priest. Oh, sure.

Yeah. Are they the one that had Eddie? Or is that Iron Maiden? That's Iron Maiden. Okay. Yeah, a lot of Eddie merch though, you know, they're both Judas at Iron Maiden. Cross promotion? No, but it's more realistic

that you would work at Judas Priest. It just feels like Iron Maiden probably has the same crew since. Those are two bands I can't tell apart. I can only tell them apart because Iron Maiden was very popular with the loungers at my high school. What are loungers? Yeah, what are loungers? They were, it was generational, multi-generational kids that hung out in the lounge that loved heavy metal and their parents went to the same high school before them and their parents as well. And their parents loved

Glenn Miller Orchestra. I loved Glenn Miller. That was the rebellious song. Yeah, I think it went back to like the 70s. What, was this in Quebec? It was in Quebec. And what is, there was a lounge for students? It was, but no one actually used the lounge really. Okay. Because the school was primarily English school.

So the- There's not an English word for lounge. The lounge. The population was shrinking, so there wasn't enough kids to fill up these free spaces. Oh, okay. You know what else is shrinking? Yeah, the jokes on this podcast. George Cassandra's wiener.

Oh. Oh, yeah. It's still shrinking to this very day. Now it's just one small flesh-colored pub. For mankind. One great big. For mankind. One great big pub for mankind. So yeah, we call them the loungers

and they loved heavy metal and that's who we bought our hash from. Yeah, I was gonna say. Was your growing up in Quebec, were kids allowed to smoke in class? Yeah, you know that little part of the desk where you put your pencil? Yeah. It was always filled up with, well, we would get milk in the morning and a couple of smokes,

and a Pepsi, and a May West. Milk and some smokes. They don't taste bad together. Enjoy your diarrhea. Was cigarette a big diarrhea food? Yeah, like if you mixed cigarettes with milk, it probably would sit not well in your stomach. I mean, if you're a person who's got milky tooth.

Teeth? Either one, you're in for it. Did you, what kind of music did you listen to in high school? Oh, I loved like the Pet Shop Boys and Shade O'Connor and Beastie Boys. If they were boys, you loved like the Pet Shop Boys and Shade O'Connor and Beastie Boys. If they were boys, you loved them. The Smiths before, you know, what happened. The Smiths, very, like I didn't really get into them.

I don't really know much about them, but they're emotional. They were like the, right? They're the first emo band. Clever. Graeme, every band is emotional. All music is emotional. No, no, no. Name one that isn't.

Yakety Sax. There you go. That gives me an emotion. The emotion is wow. Is Yakety Sax the Benny Hill? Yep. Yeah, okay. Pardon me.

I have to go ahead to sign up for pottery class. This is what has come to you. Um, pardon me. Dave's a go-ahead to sign up for pottery class. This is what has come to you. That's how long the podcast has been on. I'm retired. Dave's signing up for pottery classes. What are you up to, Graham? Just chilling on the corner.

Just me and the guys from the dump were just hanging out. That would be your dream. Yeah. For me, the Smiths, I didn't understand. and the guys from the dump were just hanging out. That would be your dream. Yeah. Yeah. For me, the Smiths, I didn't understand, like I heard the name about a bunch, but like they just weren't on the radio here, or at least when I started listening to the radio.

Yeah. And so I didn't understand how the giant impact they had on everyone who was born within five years. Yeah, and it's like, I knew a couple people that were diehard fans of theirs, but it wasn't, it was the same thing. It wasn't everywhere like, you know, an I'm Mother Earth or something like that.

Sure, an Our Lady Peas. Yes, Our Lady Peas. Well, I was definitely introduced to this myth by cute college boys. So. CCBs. Definitely wanted to hang with those boys and kiss them. Yeah. And?

Did you ever get a tan? Yeah, sure. Couple. You got a couple? Oh yeah. Hell yeah. You were in high school? Yeah.

That's so cool. That's so cool for the guys. Nothing else happened. You had like a really old soul. Sadly. Totally. A man who knows a lot about my childhood. He is.

Were these English speaking boys or were they French in a couple ways? English. They were English. One of them was that I never kissed him, but gosh, I wanted to, was the son of a preacher. Oh, wow. That's the only one that could ever teach you. Yeah, I so wanted that to happen. Yeah?

Yeah. He was a gorgeous and so fucked up. Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah. There is something about the angsty, you know, the angst. Yeah.

I don't need God, I need Morrissey. And you said it the exact right way. It was perfect. Now I have a mini crush on Dave for a second. It's gone now. Yeah. I mini crush on Dave for a second. It's gone now. Yeah, I gotta get my sideburns going. Yeah, is with that guy that you wanted to guess

the one that got away or was he one in a series of? Oh, they almost all got away. They almost all got away. I was not- Almost all. Almost all, yeah. Yeah, especially at that age. Like no one was that interested in me. Aw, come on.

Yeah, it's okay. And then you left those high school blues behind and then you got into, you went to school after? What are we doing? Yeah, what's happening here? We're just mapping out? We know her. Yeah, for a long time.

But I never heard this thing about the lounges and the, and the double boys. Oh yeah, I've been thinking about them recently, the lounges. I think that's why it was top of mind, that there was this kind of subculture in our school of these kids that dressed like they were part of a heavy metal band, like the leather jackets with tassels, really skinny tight jeans, which were not in style otherwise.

And they all smoked, they all looked 30 years old. Oh yeah. But they were just kids. Yeah. Yeah. And I feel like there's still guys in LA that dress that way. They still dress like a heavy metal,

classic heavy metal. There's a guy in the building that dresses like that. Really? Just like he's trapped in time. He's a lovely man. I, possibly he listens to this, but yeah, he wears that kind of like rocker style from like the 90s. Love that.

There's, we had our high school had, I guess, I don't know if we called them this, but my siblings are all much older than me. Yeah. And they had the Skids. Who were all the people who like smoked at the smoke pit outside. I, and then I just-

A lot of shirts tied around the waist kind of- The smoke pit in Quebec is very diverse. But they were definitely there. Yeah, and then ours at my high school, I guess the group of smokers, when Columbine happened and they called them the trench coat mafia, I was like, yes, we had one of those. We definitely had trench coat guys. Yeah, the trench coat mafia, I was like, yes, we had one of those. We definitely had trench coat guys.

There was definitely like, it would be somebody wearing a duster. Yeah. I feel like that was the- From the like army surplus. Yeah, yeah, with the flap, the big flap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a guy, what was his name? Anyways, I shouldn't say it

because maybe he did something awful. Yeah, it was, boy, it it Eric Harris or Dylan Kleeble? Kleeble. Yeah, we had, I don't know, I guess we did have, we didn't have metal guys, but we had like people who were on hash. That seemed to be like- On hash. They were on hash, they sold hash, they were hash boys,

they smoked, but I feel like that was the common bond, was hash. Yeah. Yeah. You were used hash? hash. Yeah. Yeah. You're use hash? Yeah. Yeah. I got in so much trouble in high school for smoking hash. We didn't have pot.

It was very rare to see pot. Really? At that time. Well, there wasn't like it's grown out here, right? So it's very common, but. It's the beer. And also this is like the late 80s, early 90s access. And we were in like this deep suburbs,

like the North shore of Montreal, like not in the city. So hash and alcohol, very easy to access, but otherwise, I don't know. What was your drink of choice? Peach schnapps, the thing that was always left in the liquor cabinet at every parent's house, like whatever we could steal. Yeah, I make cocktails here here and I have a few things

that I'm like, well, this was good for one cocktail, but I don't need the rest of this bottle of Midori. So one day my children will have, I'm sure bright green barf. And then they're gonna sell it at the grocery store. Keep this aside. I didn't have a drink of choice. I only drank to fit in.

Yeah. And to like... Did it work? No, well, I mean, kind of, but I definitely, there was a couple of times in high school where my friends ditched me because they were going to like party and I would have been like, I'm too scared to party.

And I got bullied by a girl because I wouldn't take acid. And then if you did, you'd be sure to have, like, a great trip. Because this person is pure pressure. Yeah. Yeah. I was just really scared. And I also, like, if I got caught doing anything,

I would be severely punished. Yeah. And that wasn't just, like, being grounded. I would also be hit. Like, I was dealing with, like, real serious consequences at home for getting caught. So every time I got caught doing something, I was like, I was grounded for a year because we threw a party at our house.

A year. And I think it just never was lifted. So I feel like I still am grounded. Um, my brother and I got grounded and he just, that's why you can't come out on Friday night. Never. Yeah, that's why. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. It's why. Totally, yeah.

Yeah, it's fun. Like I was the same way. I mean, I wasn't hit, sorry. But I was not, I did not wanna go party. I did not wanna, I wasn't invited for one thing. No one peer pressured me to do anything. That's them ones. But I definitely feel like I had a very small window

in my 20s where I like wanted to go out. But that my true self is home with my, you know, with my books. Yeah, exactly. My candle. Yeah, I'm definitely a homebody as well. And I like think there's just that time in your teens and your twenties where that is not an option.

And then you find your people, nobody. But yeah, I really do. There was just a lot of stuff that I did because I was feeling like I really wanted to fit in. And drinking was definitely one of them. I was never good at it. I always drank too much. I always barfed.

Yeah. It really affected barfed. Yeah. It really affected my depression. Yeah. In a good way? Yeah, always in a good way. Drink more, depressives. Yeah. That's why. So I look back on that time and think, oh, like that person could have used

maybe a different access to different social groups. Yeah. Yeah. Have you? Ash didn't do it for you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we wanna get back on this hash frame. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like who? like a dark greasy little ball of

Hash the times I've seen it. I've been like oh that could have easily been like something smuggled in your butt Yeah, yeah, or always just from your butt. Yeah Did you put it in a condom first? No. No. I knew it was forgetting a step. Yeah, hash, that was just what was available. And yeah, and my brother tattled on me.

Come on. I know. Oh, you should do a hash. Yeah, I got in so much trouble. We should do a big hash. She did so much hash. And so fast forwarding. She's the president.

What have you been doing with your time off since you left this miserable job? Well, yeah, it was miserable listeners, if any work there still get out. Judas Priest. JudasPriest.com. I go for a lot of walks. The first couple of months was just like, because it's been almost five months, which is so strange.

It feels like it's been a month. I go for walks, I do grocery shopping, I reconnect with friends. I feel like over the past several years, I have not really been making an effort or been able to make an effort. And one of my neighbors that I really like is also unemployed, so we do adventure walks to Canadian Tire or something. Sure, yeah. We went to Chinatown last week, that was fun.

What did you get in Chinatown, I think? I went to San San, the Hong Kong style cafe that's down there that my friend JB opened with his family. Everything they have in there is gluten-free So they have barbecue pork buns, excellent. And lots of vegetarian options, Graham, if you wanna go. I love a vegetarian option. Extremely strong tea.

I really have learned over the past few years that I can't hang with the British tea drinkers or the Hong Kong tea drinkers. Was that also in high school? Is there a group of that? Yeah, yeah, and I wanted in and then I got in and realized builder's tea is not for me. Strong in the sense of caffeine?

It tastes, yeah, I think it's more caffeinated and definitely like much richer tasting. I don't like tea. I don't like the tea taste. I know that you don't like tea. I don't mind with a million gallons of sugar, I'll have it. You also put a little milk in there just to make it, just like basically make it like a milkshake.

A little ice cream. Yeah. An avocado. That's how I grew up drinking it. Like whenever we were sick, we would get a cup of tea, which is so strange. And I stick all the time as that kid, but- I might be questioning your mother's parenting. Well, she had a lot in her hands.

Sure. Different times. And also she's from like a Scottish and British and Irish background. And so tea is like something you just drink all day. Oh yeah. But yeah. A cuppa. Yeah, you got a cuppa, put the kettle on.

So yeah, just. Do you guys both own kettles? Oh yeah. Kappa. Yeah, you got a kappa, put a kettle on. So yeah, it just. Do you guys both own kettles? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You're a kettle people? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's how I make my chips, kettle chips. Yeah.

We have a kettle, it goes weeks without use though. Is it electric? Yeah, electric. It's electric. Yeah, we got electric. It's the only kind to get. Mine's 20 years old and it hasn't broken yet, but it's on the verge, so I'm in the market for a new one.

It was like 16 years old, maybe those college guys would like it. Also college guys in Quebec were like 17. Oh, okay. Yeah, they were not like 20 year old men. I forgot it's a province of geniuses. That's right, everybody goes in and you're like... Le pays de Googie Howser.

Genius! This French is the best. Choking over here. Oh right. No, we graduated from high school at 16 there. And then you have to do C'est Gep. What's C'est Gep? C'est Gep. What's C'est Gep? It's college, it's in between like high school and university where you can kind of knock out two years or so of university or you can do a trade program like... Like how Ontario had grade 13 but I never know what that was either. I don't really know either. It's fucked up. Everyone get the fuck out of here. Jesus Christ, it's fucked up.

Everything's fucked up. Yeah, everything is fucked up. Don't you think? A little bit? Oh, absolutely. We're through the looking. I'm afraid to look at my phone. I'm afraid to look at my phone

more than nine hours a day. Once I get around that 10th hour, I'm like, this is a sickness. Yeah, oh, I need a break. Yeah, so I just hang out mostly. I certainly am not more productive. No, you don't need to be. Yeah, thank you.

That sucks. Being productive? Yeah. Yeah. Like putting pressure on yourself, you're like, well, I got it. I'm a creative person. I have to create something today.

You gotta get on that grind, a wake up in the morning. You know what I create? A lot of mucus. And you know what? If you produce a lot, that's fine. If that's your thing, that's great. If you're producing mucus on the daily,

if that's your grind, power to you. But the mucus I create is that animated mucus in the Musinex commercial. The little fat guy. Oh wow, that's you. Is it Musinex with the little guy with the hat? Yeah, and a wife beater. Yeah, they had him kind of in the original commercials,

they had him as a bad guy. And then in the follow up commercials, he was kind of like, he was kind of a lovable guy. Okay. Yeah, he wasn't being like stamped out, he was like, he was kind of like a buddy to the guys, like, what do you say? How interesting. And then they weren't killed by the mucinacks yeah they were chased chased off

screen and then in the uh when they made the tv adaptation of it uh he was actually just like he worked at a convenience store and who played him i forget uh in real Yeah, who played him on the TV show? Danny DeVito. It was Danny DeVito. Daniel DeVito. Son. Daniel son DeVito. Do you remember the, no one remembers this, the comic strip Monty? No.

No. Who are the characters? Yeah, what was the character? Monty is the main guy, but like the thing is, I'm gonna take you back even further. Before it was called Monty, it was called Robot Man. And it was about a guy who had a little friend who was his robot, his Robot Man.

It was kind of a sarcastic comic. And then they made a TV show and Monty's not in it. And it's just Robot Man. It's just a robot who teaches you how to love or whatever. He like solves problems with the power of love and he shoots love hearts out of his. Can I look this up just to see what this, yeah, look this up.

Cause I think I know who this, does he have a propeller on his head? That possible? This is Monty. That's Monty, okay. Okay, definitely don't, definitely don't rag it up. And then-

Monty's kind of is a bespectacled guy, flat head of hair. And then Robot Man was this yellow robot. Oh, it was an animated show. It was an animated show, and it was an animated, well, the comic strip was just still life. I think I had a stuffy of this. Oh, that's so sweet.

A robot man. Oh yeah, and this is much more what the thing was, robot man and friends at school. Yeah, that I had that. I had that and it came with, if you pressed its stomach, it would say different phrases. Mine was broken when I got it, so my dad took the base out of a coffee mug that

sang My Way and he put it in the doll. So whenever you squeezed it, it would sing My Way. Wow. Yeah. Pretty fond memory. I had one that... John is such an interesting and nice dad. Yeah, he's a nice dad. Yeah. The little things that he made you. Yeah, a little car...

Like that lamp and... Yeah, he carves really well. Yeah. I have a Mr. Man lamp that he did. What's a Mr. Man? You know, Mr. Man like Mr. Square. Yeah, he carves really well. Yeah. I have a Mr. Man lamp that he did. What's a Mr. Man? You know, Mr. Man like Mr. Square. Oh yeah. I think it's Mr. Square is the guy I got.

And I got an Alf. Oh yeah, that's really nice. Got a couple of Cub cars. Sure, yeah. Do Embers do Cub cars? No, I mean, not that I've noticed. Maybe when they get to. In girls guides?

Girls guides, yeah. Maybe, but boy, what was the boy one? Wolf, Cubs? Cubs. Beavers? Beavers, Cubs, Scouts. Scouts. Rovers, I think?

I think Cub Scouts was when we did, because I didn't do Scouts, I just did Cubs. That's when we did the cub cars. They still make them wear silly hats. Are you saying cars or cards? Cars. Cars. So they would have a ramp. Oh, and it was like a little competition?

Yeah. Okay. And once in a while, there was a kid that had no help from a parent, so it was just a block with wheels on it. Yeah, you would get a kit that was a block of wood. God, that's devastating. And four wheels. Yeah, and the guy that did that was a block of wood and four wheels. Yeah, and the guy that did that won because the other guy's car flew off the track

because it was too light and he came in, I think he came in second for the whole night. He deserved to win, he needed it. My dad did a great one, we didn't win, but he really took the project seriously and he had a wood shop when I was a little kid. Oh yeah, I didn't know that. Well, I'm pretty private about that kind of stuff. But I remember there were like weight restrictions

and he wanted it to be heavy. And he wanted it to be a teardrop shape. So it was like, oh, does it go this way? And he's like, no, it goes this way. The nose, it goes this way. The nose it's bigger in the nose, like a, you know, a raindrop goes, is naturally that shape. And I was like, cool.

And then he, he like, anyways, I'm going to go outside. He put a bunch of coins inside of it to make it heavier. Smart. And I don't know, came in 10th. Yeah. Well, Still a nice memory. Yeah. Itth. Yeah. Well, like a little bit of a while. Still a nice memory. Yeah, it is, yeah, you're right,

for not having anybody that could carve for you. Like the kids weren't taking it home and carving it. Nobody taught us how to carve. And no one in like, if they did it now here, yeah, no one I know has wood tools. Or the space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I could get my hands on some,

but then what? Yeah, sure. I could go to any pawn shop. You're like, okay, task A is taking care of now. How do you carve anything? Yeah. Did you ever carve pottery, whittle, any of that? No.

Soapstone? No. No. But I've always like drawn. Yeah, you're very good. You're very good at drawing. Drawn. You're a very good drawer. Drawn?

Yeah. No, I'm with her. Drawn? Yeah. Isn't it drawn? No, I don't think so. Drawn and quartered? Drawing?

I've always drawn? Jeez. No, you're right. It is drawn. Okay, this doesn't sound right. Sounds weird, yeah. I've always been into drawing things, and coloring and painting.

Oh, you've drawn? I've been drawn. She's drawn. I know, I really admire people that can do stuff, create a thing, like sewing, oh my gosh, knitting. I mean, if you're not creating something every day, I think you're kind of a failure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta keep that fucking rhyme.

Thanks, Dave. But I already you're kind of a failure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta keep that fucking rhyme. Thanks, Dave. But I already say that multiple times a day. I can't believe you still have your Wayne Gretzky up. Oh, yeah, yeah. After everything that he's said. I'll take him down, he's coming down. No, no, it's such a lovely photo. It is a lovely photo, but he's-

Different time. He's in our shit list. Yeah. I like how he doesn't understand why people are mad at him, and I think that really encompasses that that sort of level of like wealth and privilege. So for listeners who aren't from Canada. Having a moment. We're having a moment here where we have a trade war with America.

And during the big hockey tournament, Wayne Gretzky came out and well, first of all, he was celebrating with Donald Trump after the election. Wearing a hat and everything. Wearing a hat. Just a casual. A hat of. I did not know that. Of Crimson.

Of Crimson. So sorry. And then he went and did like, he seemed to, during the hockey tournament, he was Canada's hockey ambassador. Yeah. But he didn't like even even wear a maple leaf pin. And everyone was like- Yeah, and he gives the thumbs up to the American team.

Yeah, and everyone was mad at him. And he still are, and he's like, what? And he's making his wife release statements, and he won't say anything. I did for the Max Fun Drive, which everyone, guys, I hope you're excited for it. Yeah, man. I did a, I guessed it on an episode of Wonderful,

the show with Griffin and Rachel McElroy. Okay. And they wanted to know about hockey, and they asked me a bunch of hockey questions. And one of them was, this was before the Wayne Gretzky stuff all happened, and I might be on the show saying, Wayne Gretzky stuff all happened and I might be on the show saying Wayne Gretzky's great. He was very good at hockey.

He was very good at hockey. I always thought that there was a real possibility that he was very dumb. Sure. You know, like. There's been other examples of him lacking sort of, you know, political awareness and. But I just think in general, like he's, I think a lot of these, they're kids, they get millions of dollars. They had, they don't go to college. Yeah.

They don't, they leave high school at 15. Yeah. Look, their whole lives were just geared towards being successful at this thing that expires at a certain age. Dumb or smart. You're probably not going to align very much with your favorite athlete. If you, if you do some digging. Well, just, I don't know about who, I mean, I'm talking to everyone. So

obviously some people will align with them, but just like their lives are so different in every way imaginable. Well, my life is a lot like Bo Johnson's life and that I do two sports. Yeah. What about Bo Jackson though? No, Bo Johnson's a different guy. He's a guy from my own town. There's a guy on the Canucks who lives on my street and I'm like, oh, I should befriend him. Oh no, I'm not going to do that.

He would not say that about anyone else that lived on the street. Only someone that plays the Canucks. But he is like, he's Swedish. He's from Northern Sweden. His Instagram is from this tiny middle of nowhere. His Instagram is just pictures of him fishing. I'm like, beyond the whole like... He sounds incredible. I think we just want different things.

You want some friendly chatter. He wants to fish. Oh, he's just thinking about fishing. I want to say like, hey, how was the game last night? You guys lost, why'd you lose? We suck, eh? I love this. I saw that headline today when I was leaving the coffee shop

on the way over here, it says, playoffs, not looking good. That was the headline, I was like, okay. Man, I love this team, but like, we're terrible, right? All the time, like, one day I might stop cheering. No, I won't. No, never.

You're not a Fareweather fan. Yeah. But I am friends with some people on this block. Who else? Not by name, but one other character. I say hi to my next door neighbor, and he's nice. That's good.

That's nice. It's nice to know somebody nice. You deserve a good neighbor. Yeah. Especially after Firecracker Dad.. You deserve a good neighbor. Yeah. Especially after firecracker dad. Oh yeah, sure. At our old place, the guy throwing firecrackers. And the fire next door.

And the fire next door. Yeah, that's a very nice story. I still don't know who lives in that house. The woman who was there that day, I see her around, but she lived here three years and there's nothing on the walls. There's random people who seem to be like house sitters a lot. Do they have any pets?

No. And they have an Airbnb that is just churning. Like every day people are coming in and out. Yeah. Are these scrubs? It's all kinds of people. Okay, all right. What's a scrub again?

That's a guy who don't want to get no love for me or something like that. A close approximation of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also known as a? Busta. That's Boba Johnson. Every time I give him- Boba Johnson.

Your other neighbors also had an Airbnb, which I saw listed as a rental recently. And that's one of my favorite things that has happened. Thanks David Eby. also had an Airbnb which I saw listed as a rental recently. Yeah. And that's one of my favorite things that has happened, thanks David Eby, that there's less and less Airbnbs here. So marketplace has just flooded with these sort of not, actually your neighbor's place is beautiful, but a lot of places that are definitely decorated because of their short term. Yeah.

And I love it. I love to see that specific kind of cheap decor. I love it.. And I love it. I love to see that specific kind of cheap decor. I love it. Yeah, I love it. I've stated a few Airbnb's, Airbnb's, Airbnb's. They just literally.

Airbnb's. Yeah, Airbnb's. And they, I was thinking today about how they all have, like, we really like, spread no expense on the TV. It has six remotes. You can't figure them out.

It's all connected through the stereo. You're gonna like randomly hear very loud tennis being played. I know when I stayed at one Airbnb, the television only got CP24, which is just like the Toronto news cycle. And that place, when you go to an Airbnb. But you love the news.

Oh, I love it. Yeah. You know, there's only so many stories and then they just keep going. Yeah, Wayne Gretzky. But a lot of places that you go to Airbnb, the utensils, it's like, it's a toss up. What are you gonna get?

What do they have? Do they have a ladle? Do they have enough forks and spoons? Like a pot, do they have a pot they have a ladle? Do they have enough forks and spoons? Like a pot, do they have a pot that you could, and a lot of places don't. One guy went to, all he had was a wok. When you first moved out on your own,

what did you, where did you get like pots and? Oh, that's a really good question. I think my roommate when I moved out had pots and pans. So I just kind of. And knives and forks. Knives and fork plates. Sure. Mugs.

I came here, you know, with a suitcase and 20 bucks in my pocket and a dream. When I first moved out, we went back to college and went, like, if you lived in the dorms, you got a meal plan, but anyone could go and just buy a meal and then fill their bags with cutlery. All laugh.

How old were you when you moved out? That would have been year three of college. Okay. Year one I was in the dorms, year two I was an RA, and then year three and four I was out in the world. Do you remember anything weird happening when you were an RA? Oh yeah, man.

Anything that you can share? An RA short for radical awesome? Yeah, I was a radical awesome dude. I was totally in charge of being tubular. And I don't know, kids got in trouble for smoking pot in their rooms. Oh, okay, nothing too bad. I don't know about weird.

There was probably, you know, people were having sex. I thought, hell yeah. Some people were drinking alcohol. Yeah, this was like a good time. That was it. It was like every Friday and Saturday night was like dealing with drunk people. Oh wow.

I spilled Malibu on my white Twitter. Get it out for me. You need to go to bed now. You need to be quiet. Doors have to close at midnight. Yeah. Oh, did they really? Like, was there a lights out?

There was, no, you could have your lights on, but you couldn't, like the parties that would happen in the dorms were just like, oh, hey, our floor's having a party. And you would, if you wanted to be in the party, you keep your door open. If you didn't, close your door. Close it up. Okay.

And then, but all the't, you close your door. Close it up. Okay. And then, but all the doors have to close at midnight. Have either of you ever gone to like a party in a hotel? Like, oh, yeah, it's weird. Cause you're afraid the whole time you're disturbing people. I think people are too timid to actually. Well, you are disturbing people. Oh yeah, I know.

Yeah. Sometimes I've been where it's the suite and then they have the adjoining suite and that door open and then that becomes the whole. So like a comedy party, you know? I've been at a couple of festivals. Yeah, the festival parties and the hotels are kind of weird. Yeah, they're kind of weird.

Unless they're in the like hotel bar. The bar, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm thinking specifically of like rooms and hotels where you know and we're like Afraid of upsetting anybody anybody else. I don't want someone to have a bad time because I'm having a good time Yeah, I'd rather have a bad time and the other person has a good time. That's what this podcast is all about We're having a bad time here. So you guys could enjoy it Yeah, I We're having a bad time here so you guys can enjoy it. Yeah. Did you go to university for four years or no?

No. No. I went to CJEP and then I took a big break and then I did three years of Langara College and then I did two months of Concordia University. You're like, this is not for me. I ran out of money. Yeah. Should have had an RA, could have sat down

and kind of worked out a budget. That was not at all in my responsibilities, worked out a budget. Yeah, I just did not. And I thought I would always go back. I was just talking with a friend who also stopped going, like didn't finish their degree and she just started it up again.

Yeah. I was like, huh. Start me up. Do-de-do, yeah. What's your favorite album? What's your favorite band? I don't actually know their album names. I just like their top hits. The only one I know is Steelers Wheel because they made fun of it on The Simpsons.

Okay, what I will also say is Steelers Wheel is a band. Oh, what's the one? The Steel Wheels. Steel Wheel, Steel Wheel. I saw that show. You did? The first show that I ever went to, yeah, with my dad. Was it amazing?

It was amazing, but like- That was, I remember people called it the Steel Wheelchairs Tour. That's what, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they were so old back then. That was then. Yeah, and they would have been like- 40 years ago. Yeah.

They would have been in their late 40s then. Late 40s, okay. And they did seem, I mean, my dad was, is the same age as them and it felt so uncool going with my dad. It was, as them and I felt so uncool going, where's my dad? They were the first old people. Like they were the first band that was like- They were the first people to ever get old on stage.

That stayed old. They stayed old. Yeah. We owe them a great debt. We do. And you know what? I'll just give them some money. Yeah.

They would appreciate. What were we talking about before? Before what? Yeah. Yeah. For what you? Okay. It was the Rolling Stones. Before that it was college. Oh, God. Yeah, let's not go back. Did you ever have the album The Rolling Stones that had the zipper on the front? No. That was the best. There was a zipper you could pull down. I have never owned a Rolling Stones album. I just I love their tunes. It was Stickyipper you can pull down. I have never owned a Rolling Stones album. I just, I love their tunes.

It was Sticky Fingers. This is far away. Sticky Fingers is that album. And it has the, Andy Warhol did the cover. And it's a guy's giant dong in trousers. Whose dong is it? It's unclear. Yeah.

It's. There's some legends about who it is, but it was someone in the Andy Warhol community. Sure. But I know you're like a dog with a bone, you wanna gun down this guy's dog? Was it Twiggy? Was it Twiggy?

Yeah, I'm like a dog with a boner. Mm. Mm. Guys. What? Have we talked about me enough? Sure. Okay.

Well, we'll move on, but first, let's hear a little bit about this Max Fun Drive everybody's talking about. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr gonna sit for I guess I guess one minute of silence is that okay? But we're gonna hold our breath and see how long we're gonna Okay, here we go. Oh, man, that was a mistake. Oh my god, that was so long. Was that a minute? Yeah, it was a minute.

Uh, and thank you for your patience. Um, and the good, good for you if you were able to hold your breath that long as well. I don't believe you did though. Well, it's maximum fun drive time. The most wonderful time of the year. It's Max fun drive time. Hey, I'm gonna say this off the top. Go to maximumfun.org slash join.

Get like, I'm gonna keep talking about it, but you're gonna be wanting to fill in your info. Yeah, go to your nearest computer or tablet, whatever works for you. Use your damn watch, man. Yeah, use your fucking cool watch. Yeah. But this is your time of year where you can help us make the show by joining up with Max Fun and we greatly appreciate that anybody would do this.

Yeah, what we do quite a bit actually, so we don't feel too bad about it. This is a show we make, we've made it every week. We missed two weeks in the first year, but we've been going for 17 years. How do you like that? It's kind of a big deal around our houses, and we don't accept any, How do you like that? It's kind of a big deal around our houses and

we We don't accept any Commercials. Yeah, you know what? No commercials. No shit. We don't take no. We don't take no shit We don't take no for an answer. Absolutely. Yeah, you listen to the show. You're not gonna hear people talk about Oh, hey, you should be gambling. Yeah, yeah. Hey, consolidate your money. How do you make a website or whatnot? Yeah, hey, oh, your mattress sucks shit, so maybe buy ours. No, you're not gonna hear that on our show.

Or, you know, sometimes when I'm listening to a podcast, it's an ad in a different language, and so that can surprise you as well. You've got the worst VPN. One of the worst. You're not gonna hear, oh, hey, we're going to send you a meal every day. All you have to do is throw it in the fire. This is it. This is the time to sign up to join to be part of the network. Dave, tell them how it works.

Okay. So you go to maximumfun.org and you also go to slash join. Those are the two places you wanna go. Put them together, that's the address to go to. So your support keeps this show independent. We're part of this wonderful independent network. I wanna call it maximum fun. Yeah, dot org slash join if you're interested.

Yeah, you're gonna go to maximumfund.org slash join and you are going to click a bunch of things. You're gonna say, I wanna join and I wanna support these shows at $5 a month. Maybe $10, maybe 20. And then you're gonna click what shows you listen to. If you listen to two shows, the money you give to the network

gets split amongst your shows. shows you listen to. If you listen to two shows, the money you give to the network gets split amongst your shows. You are directly supporting these independent shows and we very much appreciate it, my man. And it goes, you can get three shows, four shows, up to five shows. Five shows a week. No, you can support, as many of you as you want. Okay. But you can join, you can upgrade, or you can boost your membership. Now all memberships at $5 a month or more get access to the entire library of bonus content

for all Maximum Fun shows. Oh yeah. Yeah. We do hear the news. Did you hear the news? We've been crowned. Yeah, the kings of BoCo. We put out 24 episodes of bonus content every year.

They are so choice. They're so choice. We're talking about hot topics of the day that we do. We did an entire podcast about Mr. Bean. What you're getting is just more of us. In the early days of the show, the first, I don't know, 10 years, we used to occasionally have episodes without a guest. Yeah. And then recently we haven't done that so much.

But if you listen to the bonus content. You're gonna hear it. It's all me and Graham, we're just getting our sillies out. You're kind of tickling each other. Yeah, wiggling our waddles away. So we've got tons of bonus content. This year we did a, well, the most recent one is 10 Things We Love About CanCon.

You'll hear us probably talk about that dog that rescued all those people on that show. What was his name again? The Littlest Hobo. The Littlest Hobo. Maybe that made the list. You know what? Could be its own podcast itself. What was his name again? The Little List Hobo. The Little List Hobo. Maybe that made the list. You know what? Could be its own podcast itself. That can confer the uninitiated is Canadian content.

You're gonna learn a lot about it. Yeah. So you can join and pay every month. You can prepay for a whole year if you don't wanna see that on your credit card statement every month. If your wife turns a blind eye to the credit card statement, just for March.

Oh, you know what? Just, you gotta get there first. Get that credit card statement, light it on fire. But, ooh, I got a whole year worth of max fun. And I can't wait to listen to them bonus episodes. You know what? You could go on a car trip. We could be with you the whole time just through our Boko.

Or in person. Yeah. Yeah, why not, dude? You'll be like, hey, why is the car behind me flashing its high beams? Oh, it's because Graham and Dave are in the backseat trying to kill me. But they hate high beams.

So you can prepay, you can join, you can also upgrade. If you're already a member at $5 a month, you can go to 10. If you're a 10y, 10, you can go to 20. We're not gonna stand in your way. You can, hey, if you're at five and you want to leapfrog 10 and go right to 20. Absolutely, we're down with that. And if you're upgrading,

you not only get all the bonus content, you also get a freaking pen, man. A pen? Yeah, a pen, not a pen. I almost said it like a pen, but a pen. Almost, you definitely did. Like how you sometimes are referring to Alf, but you say elf.

Alf, yeah, it's a problem that I've been trying to deal with. We're trying to get you a speech pathologist, but none will take your case. So you go to maximumfun.org slash join. You can join monthly for five dollars a month or more. Just do it while it's on your mind. And this is this is it. This is the second week of the Max Fun Drive. This is our last chance to get you to support the show. So we love having you on board. We

love having this relationship with you, the listener. Oh my God, is that even a question? Were you guys questioning our love? Of course we love you. No, we love you. We love each and every one of you. And of course, if you can't afford it, we understand. If you're already supporting the show, hey.

Thanks. We appreciate that so much. We're gonna keep giving you the shows you love. The shows you deserve. But we'll tell you about the other things you can get if you support the show at higher levels in the next break. But right now, I wanna know what's,

I wanna get to know me this week. Yeah. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, not much. Dave's not even here, we just pressed play. And furthermore, oh, so a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about Bic, the Bic brand. Oh yeah.

And how they make razor blades, pens and lighters. Yeah. And it inspired me to write this song, here we go. the Bic brand and how they make razor blades, pens and lighters. And it inspired me to write this song. Here we go. Oh, you wrote a song? It's a very short song. I'm a Bic, I'm a lighter, I'm a pen for a writer. If you need to shave your face, I am a razor blade.

Nice. That's incredible. Holy shit, that's good. That was great. Yeah, yeah, I know. And now I'm gonna like, when I go home, gonna blast that song so loud. Yeah. Wake up the neighbors.

Oh no way, that's a different guy. So yesterday I went to see a movie. Oh, which one? Nice. I was like, oh, the Oscars just finished up and they put some of the movies back in theaters or they're like giving them more showings. Like Captain America Civil War. I was like, oh, I could go see a Nora.

Oh, you saw it. No. And. He could have though. And then I was like, oh, I could go see a Complete Unknown. And then I didn't see that either. And I was like, you know what could go see A Complete Unknown. And then I didn't see that either. And I was like, you know what? I wanna go see Mickey 17.

Oh, cool. Do you know what that is? No. Okay, well, it's Robert Pattinson. I saw it because I was playing in IMAX and I was like, that'll be fun. And is the guy, the director also directed Parasite? Parasite, did he do the one about the train, ice crusher?

Snowpiercer. Snowpiercer. Close enough. Davey looks so embarrassed. Is that who that was? Snowpiercer is Chris Evans, right? It's Chris Evans, yeah. It's Bong Joon-ho is the guy.

And he did Parasite, he did Mickey 17. He's one of the great Korean directors. Yes, yeah. And he's really brought his style to the North American screen. He truly has. It's one of the great styles. What's the basic synopsis? Okay, basic synopsis is Robert Pattinson, who you know from Twilight. Yeah, yeah. Who's actually, I've been seeing a lot of people being like,

he's actually a really good actor. He actually makes really interesting choices. He's not just the Twilight guy. And what were the teams of people who were on one team or the other with the Twilight? We were on team Jacob or team Edward. Team Edward, yeah. Okay.

What team were you on? I was on the Vancouver Canucks. You wish, you wish. I mean, we're all Canucks. But people have been saying that for a decade now. They've been like, oh, he's actually really interesting. He was in the lighthouse and he was the Batman and he's actually in Tenet.

And if you don't pay too much attention, he's in Good Time. Good Time, I love it. So stressful, one of the most stressful films ever. Surpassed only by Uncut Gems, which is also so stressful. I never finished Uncut Gems because it was too stressful. Too stressful, right?

Yeah, I won't even finish books, because they're too stressful. I'm too scared of the ending. Give me an excuse not to finish a book. Yeah, this is stressful. This is too stressful. Sure, she ate and she prayed, what next? I chose my own adventure and I got super scared.

But I, so I went to see this movie and it was okay. Yeah, it's what it's sci-fi. So yeah, the idea is wait, is this a matinee? Yeah. Yeah, Robert Pattinson is a has given himself over to this project where he can be sort of like a guinea pig and so when they're on this like global or like it's space expedition they'll be like oh what are the effects of radiation on people and they put Robertson Pattinson out in space and he dies and but he's he's given his he has this this technology where you you can it's like a 3d printer and they print a new Robert Pattinson Oh, and so there have been 17 of him. That's why he's Mickey 17. Okay, and then I

Really care for it. How many people were in the theater? Oh 20 20 I love a matinee cuz just for the being able to really stretch out I have so here's what I've noticed lately. Okay. Is I've been falling asleep in movies a lot. Oh, yeah, you're that age. Or that tired. But it's- Yeah, yeah, that's a tired thing.

At matinees. Yeah. It's not like, if I go to a 9pm movie, oh, I'm gonna fall asleep for sure. But these are new movies. Did you fall asleep? Yeah. I fought very hard to not fall asleep. And I think I made it.

There was like Mickey three, Mickey four, and then when I woke up it was Mickey 17. I didn't like the movie, it wasn't for me. No, I really did. I really tried to stay awake and I think I did. That would be, I would love to read a review by somebody who fell asleep. So when I fell asleep, this happened and I found it believable. Then when I woke up, I didn't know what to believe.

I fell asleep in, I've been doing it a lot and always matinees because I only see matinees. I fell asleep in the Dog Man movie. Which was kind of disappointing. Was it? I don't really know what, like I saw the ads for it, but I don't know what. Dog Man is a series of like- For kids, right? Yeah, kids books, kids anime, oh no, graphic novels. But there's so many of them.

They churn them out. And there's usually a few good laughs in everyone. It's about a dog and a cop who are partners. And then they both get in an accident and they attach the dog's head to the partner's body. That's funny. Yeah, they're very funny books. But the movie kind of disappointed.

Did the kids like it? One of them, no, they both were like thumb middle. Thumb middle. And then, well, one of them fell asleep along with me. That's very cute. So sweet. Yeah. The shimkas are tired.

Although I do feel like, oh no, I need to be on cut to watch around my kids. I'm in public. Yeah. But if they're falling asleep too. Yeah, no one would victimize both of us. But apparently we were fine. And then I fell asleep,

I didn't fall asleep during the Brutalist, which my one regret. Yeah, the only times I've ever fallen asleep during movies is all three of The Lord of the Rings. Sure. Any other movie I've been able to tough it out to the end. Although, Hateful Eight, that didn't have an intermission. I would have stood it up.

I saw that with you and Charlie, I think. Yeah. Do you like The Hateful Eight? No, I saw that with you and Charlie, I think. Yeah. Do you like the hateful eight? No, I put it at the very bottom of his catalog. Really, I like it a lot. Really? I don't like Django. That's the one.

I never saw Django. That's rough for me. It is very rough. I like the hateful eight too. I like it, it's a cool vibe. I like hanging out with all these snowy guys. And then, yeah, I also fell asleep in Michaelopolis. And that was also very slow paced.

I don't know. It was too slow. I fell asleep during, I just like remembered a Robert Duvall and Bill Murray movie called Get Low, I think it was called. Anyways, it was so quiet that I could like do that thing like you do on a bus or a plane. Oh, you just fall asleep.

I'm fighting it back. I'm gonna fall asleep. Was this in the theater? It was in the theater, yeah. I think sometimes what happens is in the theater is you're just, like the nice thing about seeing a movie in the theater is you can't do anything else but see the movie.

And so my brain is like, you could also take a nap. Yeah, exactly. Everything's so quiet, like you can't do anything else but see the movie. And so my brain is like, you could also take a nap. Yeah, exactly. Everything's so quiet, like you can't do the dishes. You can't be productive. You create a person productive. You bring your dishes to the theaters. Did you see Conclave in the theater? Yes.

That was like such a nice, quiet movie. So good, so good. I saw a movie that I wanna recommend to both of you called Universal Language, which is so funny it's mostly subtitled, but it was made in Quebec and and Winnipeg, okay, and it's so beautiful and it's absurdist and Heartwarming is anyway, is it it's a comedy? Yeah any actors we know no Not even Sandra Oh, no No. Ah, not even Sandra Oh?

No, not Sandra Oh, but it's very, very funny, very well done. And I won an Academy Award. It did? I can't remember for what though. Okay, cool. Yeah, maybe set design. Maybe set design? You saw it in the theater?

Or costuming? Yes, and I saw it at Tinseltown. How old is it? Just came out. Brand new? Yeah, it came out at the end of last year. You could go sleep through that. You might because it has end of last year. You could go sleep through that.

You might because it has kind of like quiet. I saw Conclave and Robbie Williams' monkey movie back to back and I felt I was wide awake for both of those. Okay, okay. So it's something's going on and maybe, you know. You work a lot. I have COVID. Oh no, not again.

Don't say that to me. Well, I did. We all had it. We all had it. I't say that to me. Well, I did. We all had it. We all had it. I had it a few times. You did? Yeah. And to varying degrees of intensity.

Oh yeah. I had it once and then I had- Something else. I've had other things and I've always test for COVID. Yeah. But like I told you, I always end up swallowing the tests. So they're inconclusive. Apparently there's a lot of just really bad

flus going around right now. And of some really good flusies. Yeah, some good flusies. Oh yeah, who are the top flusies this year? Betty Boop. Oh God, Jessica Rabbit. What, can you name a male flusie? Boy, yeah, of course.

The mask. Not the mask, you weirdo. Okay, define floozy. Someone who's like a... Sexually open, I guess? Sexually open. How is the mask not sexually open? I don't remember, I don't like it.

He had a green penis, I think, I assume. He did put on two masks. One on his face, and a little one for my, say hello to my little friend. Did he do his hands turn green? No, just his face. Oh, and a little one for my, say hello to my little friend. Does he do, his hands turn green? No, just his head. Really? And the head of his penis.

Yeah, that's the thing, one mask, two heads. Answer the question. Does his penis turn green? No, who's a floozy? Who's a male floozy? I mean, I don't, I think- The Fonz is kind of a floozy, right? I think that's such an antiquated term

that I feel bad for bringing it up in the first place and my apologies to Betty Boop and the Boop family. But yeah, is it just like an easy lay? Yeah, I don't really know that I know what a floozy is for sure. Oh, well like Dan from Night Court was a floozy. Yeah. Was Dan played by John Larroquette?

John Larroquette, yeah. I feel like I'm in a real John Larroquette phase of how I look as a 50 year old person. Interesting. Like my hair is very John Larroquette some days. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm looking at it now, I'm like, yeah, I could see that in John Larroquette.

That guy is very funny. He's very funny and he had a show. Dan is definitely a floozy. Dan, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Also what about, and Three's company, was it Larry? Larry was a floozy. is definitely a floozy. Dan, oh yeah. Also, what about, in Three's Company, was it Larry? Larry was a floozy. Larry was a floozy.

There's plenty of that horny character. Joey Tribbiani is something of a floozy. Oh yeah, that's so true. Yeah, the guy David Leisure played on Empty Nest. Yeah. He was a floozy. Oh, Empty Nest. Right.

Were we wrong about that? Is he on Empty Nest or is he Is he mostly, is he on Empty Nest or is he on Golden Girls? He's on Empty Nest. I think it was both. Wasn't that a crossover? Yeah. Because I looked it up once

and he is on one more than the other. And then Estelle Getty is on like 60 episodes of Empty Nest. No way. She's on so much Empty Nest. We couldn't get enough of her back in the day, Estelle Getty. We could use a little bit of Estelle Getty now. You're nostalgic for Estelle Getty. I'm there, guys.

Who are you? Estelle Getty. Is that me? You're doing me? I don't know what I'm doing. Alicia. She's some male floozy. Yeah, male floozy.

Well, we got, I think we got to the bottom of it. Oh yeah, Betty Boop. How the was Betty Boop? Well, Betty Boop was a cartoon. Yeah. I don't wanna throw any women under the floozy bus. Sure, but these are just characters. Yeah, characters welcome.

Okay, well, Ben, uh, Blanche from? Yeah, Blanche is one of your great floozies. Yeah, she's one of the tops. I started re-watching Golden Girls last year, and I have to get back to it, because it really holds up. Yeah. Really surprisingly holds up, but I'm very busy burning through the Bravo catalog of Below Deck. Below Deck, which is?

I'm almost done. Uh, well to the average person, it's just a show about, uh, people that work on yachts. Yeah. Uh, but for a person's, uh, healing from work trauma, it is very great to watch people get their comeuppance, uh, the working class people judge, uh, like the riches of the rich. Right.

Um, yeah, that's really interesting rich. Right. Yeah. It's really interesting programming. And it is- Are people bedding down? Sometimes, sometimes. And this last season, they were just fucking in the shower. But they're all athletic enough that that's probably not as concerning as it is to me, where I'm like, oh, I used body oil yesterday.

I'm going to die in the shower. Yeah. They're like, oh, it's the only place where there's no cameras, so you just hear the noise. And it kills them to put in a handrail just to help us out, you know. To? Yeah. A seat.

Yeah, a swing. You do whatever you're gonna do, I'm just gonna sit in the seat for a minute. Take a breather. I like to watch. They go in the shower and I'm already there, like ready to watch. Yeah.

Yeah. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen this television program. I don't know why you, what's, you love to work and watch something. Yeah. Do you watch something while you're working? Yeah, usually just,

well, now I've paused so long Yeah, I... Do you watch something while you're working? Yeah, I usually just... Well, now I've paused so long and it feels like I'm coming up with a funny answer, but I'm really just trying to remember. I'll usually just put on the sports channels and have like highlights on them. Or in the late afternoon, East Coast games. Oh, sure, yeah, okay. Not blacked out on this side of the country. Sure, sure. Yeah. Okay. Not blacked out on this, this side of the country.

Sure. No. Yeah, I like a little kitchen nightmares. I feel like that's very have it in the background. Although I hate the challenges that they make them do. I think the challenges are very stupid. And you're not seeing good cooking on those shows. No, it's always the same thing. It's just chef Gordon Ramsey's one menu that he has, which has beef Wellington. And you know what, these guys fuck it up every time.

It is, have you ever made a beef Wellington before? No, I've never eaten a beef Wellington before. Okay, I made one once to impress a boy. And? It was perfect. Nice. What is it? It's beef covered in dough?

Yeah, and then there's usually like a layer of pate and herbs and then puff pastry. And how do you cook it? How do you in the oven? Okay, but first you do quickly Grill the beef on all sides gotta grill the beef on all sides Yeah, and then you grill the beef on all sides and then you put it in then you bake it Mm-hmm. I get I follow a lot of people online that are cookers and chefs And cougars.

They draw. And they, then I'll try some of the recipes. And a lot of the ones that look really good. Aren't. Well, they, they, they stink. Like, there's a lot of ones about like potatoes, like I see all these people making like a hassle back. What's that? With all the different cuts in it? Maybe. Okay. I've seen a few ones that are like you make these kind of potato

cylinders but you have to you cook them first and then you put them on the frying pan and you finish them off there by like. Yes, I know exactly. By spooning butter onto them. But I find that the butter, like spooning it on, it just stinks up your house, it all burns and then it's a no bueno. That's a move they do a lot

if they are trying to cook something really quick is they do this spooning of wood over the thing. And I feel like that's a technique one would learn in cooking school. Because butter does burn so fucking quickly. The thing on Kitchen Nightmares, it's always raw. Everybody's always hanging. It's raw!

Exactly, that's exactly it. And then he'll make everybody say, touch this, touch this. Is it cooked? Is it cooked? But like, some stuff's good raw. Yeah, some. I'm protected. Tell me about it. But like cooking meat, there's so many like, a doneness.

Like you need to, oh, you don't want it to be too pink. And you know that like, it feels like the crook There's so many like a doneness, like you need to, oh, you don't want it to be too pink. And you know that like, it feels like the crook of your palm between your thumb and forefinger. There's different, like if it's medium rare, it's this part of your hand. If it's rare, it's this part of your hand. I'm so sorry, but when I do check that way, that's not.

I gotta just time it. I use a thermometer. Yes, I just got a good one and it's been very helpful. The thing they do on that show is everybody's. Cook the shit out of everything over and over again, or that it is still raw in the center. It's raw! Fuck off, he would say.

I always wonder if those guys are actually good cooks or they were just good. I think they're good. Celebrity faces. Who, Gordon Ramsay? And, uh, that guy, there's a guy used to think was so hot. Um, the redhead. Apparently Gordon Mario Batali.

Yeah, that guy, that guy was hot. Oh, it's a Bobby Flay. Yeah. I loved Bobby Flay in the nineties and the early two thousands. I thought he was really cute. I know somebody that, uh, ate at one of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants in LA, and they said it was delicious. I ate at one of his restaurants in London.

And? I don't remember. Not memorable. Didn't hit me, but there was a painted portrait of him in like... Like a robe. Sort of like royal. Was the robe open at the bottom? It was like a red, like a kind of like,

your kind of royal military. Oh yeah, red and black. Yeah. Yeah. But a painted portrait? A painted portrait. Is he a knight? I don't know.

I feel like we would know that he would hate if he'd been knighted. Sir Gordon Ramsay. Oh, is he, yeah. I don't know. He probably is a knight. I feel like we would know that he would hate if he'd been knighted. Sir Gordon Ramsay. Oh, is he a, yeah. I don't know. Does that would make somebody a knight if they're a sir? That would make someone a sir if they're a knight. Yeah.

I don't know. And then you become a lady if you're a woman? Is that how, or do you get to? You become a lady if you, you know, cross the threshold. Something about a mare? If you get a hand mirror, yeah. Uh.

Dave. So yeah, that's it. I'm falling asleep in movies. And I'm loving it. I have not fallen asleep in a movie that I was like, disappointed I fell asleep in. Did you see The Last Showgirl? No.

Definitely, you could fall asleep in that one. Sure. You see it? Yeah, it's not good. No, what? Yeah, like, but everybody was going nuts about Pamela Anderson. Pamela Anderson, I think the actors in it are good. I think the screenplay and the direction

and the editing left a lot to be desired. Yeah, I don't like movies where it's just the actors are good. You know what I mean? Yeah, they can't like movies where it's just the actors are good. You know what I mean? Yeah, they carry the whole thing. Mickey Rooney. No, sorry. I did it again. It's impossible not to. Mickey Rourke and the wrestler.

I'm like, oh yeah, he's great in this. I don't want to watch this. Oh, I loved that movie. Loved it. It was my hateful eight. Sure. But yeah, I think, I'm trying to think of a movie where the act is really excellent and it just plot. There was, oh. Or what was that one where Jeff Bridges

won an Academy Award for being like- Crazy heart? Yeah. Yeah, that was very slow. Yeah, they had no pace to it. Yeah, that's a good one. I can't think of any others. Stay tuned, I might come up with one.

Anyway, what is everyone thinking we should say about Graham coming up? Does he have it this week? I got it. This past weekend, past guest, Phil Hanley. Fanley. Fanley came to town to do not one, but two shows at the Vogue theater, which the Vogue is about

how many seats do you think? No, it's 100. Eight, nine. No, no, I think it's a thousand. Yeah. You know what? Is this Googleable? This could be Googleable. Googleable. The Vogue is also haunted. Yeah.

1280. 1280. So he was booked to do one show, sold out so fast that he was booked to do another show. This is our friend. This is a guy that we, you know, I started out with this guy. Yeah, this guy used to come on this show. Yeah. He used to be my friend,

but I haven't heard from him in like 10 years. No, no, no. No. No, he's not my friend anymore. Right, right, right, right. But he is hilariously funny and is a guy who was a crowd work guy before crowd work wasn't the thing that everybody wanted. Such a good comedian.

Such a good friend. He used to wear a cardigan all the time. Does he have something different going on now? Yep. Just regular clothes now. Yeah. He wears a lot of Grateful Dead. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, he was wearing a Grateful Dead shirt. I knew he had a different fit going. And- So not normal clothes. But you know, a sweater. And he is a huge deadhead. So he's like, he loves the Grateful Dead. Yeah, I thought you said debt head.

And I was like- He's a big deadhead. He follows around people who owe him money. He goes from city to city. Anyways, he's very, very funny and the crowd absolutely loved him. And then- Did he crowd work in a theater? Yeah.

And you have to have the lights kind of up to be able to do it. He did it really well. We're talking about the fact that he might do well to have like a camera guy in the audience and then have it projected, the people that he's talking to, because you don't know what they look, he's the only guy who knows what they look like. You talked to him about this.

Yeah. You were like, you should get a camera guy. Yeah, I was like, what about a camera guy? And he was like, that does seem like a good idea. And that's where it ended. I don't know any camera guys that travel around. What song did you come out to? No song. Oh, you were like thinking about different song options. I don't know any camera guys that travel around. What song did you come out to?

No song. Oh, you were like thinking about different song options. Did you get, you opened for them. Did you get introduced to your ladies and gentlemen, Graham Clark. Phil introduced me, then we had Kevin Banner was on the show. So I introduced Kevin Banner, came out and then introduced Phil. Why Kevin Banner? Does he even know Phil? Yeah.

Why are you dubious about he even know Phil? Yeah. What? Why are you dubious about that? We're just jealous. I'm not that jealous. I think he's really close friends with Kevin Banner. Yeah. Really close friends with Kevin Banner? I do not understand this indignation.

I do not understand what's happening here, you guys. Okay. I can tell you what's happening for me. Go on. I'm just jealous. Okay. I'm just jealous. Okay. I'm just jealous because only my friend Graham should be the one opening.

Well, that's very kind. Kevin Banner should be six feet under. What? Is that too harsh? I think that's too harsh. Oh, okay. Hey, Kevin, come back on the show anytime. Defend yourself.

Oh, okay. Hey, Kevin, come back on the show anytime. Defend yourself. Um, but after the late show, or the second show, a bunch of his family showed up and they were meeting him backstage and a past guest, Paul Bay was there. Oh yeah. And so we were like, well, we'll go,

we'll try and go somewhere and eat. And we couldn't figure out a place, but there was a fancy place that used to be the restaurant that had all the like candle wax, like giant candle wax. What's that place called? I don't even know what you're talking about. Subi's. Oh yeah.

So it was formerly Subi's and Paul got on the phone to get a reservation. This is like at the last possible minute. And he said like, he said he was Phil's agent and then he just finished playing the Vogue and really hungry. And at first the guy was like, no tables. He's like, oh really? Cause we just finished the Vogue and Phil Hanley,

the guy really would like to eat there. She's like, I'll see what I can do. And they totally had a table for us. We got there, had a table. Oh man, oh man. It was, and everybody in there, so, so class A, so in nice nightwear, not me, I look like a scrud, but. And not Phil.

Yeah, scrud. Phil was wearing a. Grapefruit ad. A top hat. A cardigan. Jerry Garcia. Just like Slash. The elbow pads.

How was the food? It was delicious. I love that. What if Graham was like, they rolled out the red carpet for us, food sucks, the food was horrible. I would like there, what they're known for is their hamburgers, which everybody else got and said that they were fantastic.

So, but yeah, it was like, it was like a real, you know, like get up and dress nice. I wasn't ready to be going into a place like that. So I felt like I stuck out. No. Stuck out? Yeah, I stuck out. Yeah, you drawn.

I'm a scrud. Yeah, scrud is a guy who can't get no love from you. Yeah, you ever date a scrub? Date a scrub. Yeah, I've dated some real losers. I'm sitting right here. You are one of them. I was waiting for that.

You're so sweet. But yeah, if you want to get into a fancy restaurant, just say that you're with somebody who closed the book. That's what I took away from that. Then how do you get the, when you show up, don't you have to bring them? Yeah, maybe you can bring anybody, you know what I mean? Oh, because they didn't know who Phil was from Adam. Exactly. There was a guy who used to do comedy town named Todd Allen,

and his move to get to the head of a line in the nightclub was he would get his friend to go up and say to the bouncer, oh, there's Todd Allen from Dawson's Creek. The guy would look at him and he was like, handsome enough to be on Dawson's Creek and like, you don't want to be the bouncer that turned away the Allen from Dawson's Creek. The guy would look at him and he was like, handsome enough to be on Dawson's Creek and like, you don't want to be the bouncer that turned away the guy from Dawson's Creek. So you always get in. It's anybody who feels like.

That's like my pussy and Joshua Jackson if ever I get a chance. What? I'm turning him away at the door. But that really counts on the fact that bouncers don't watch Dawson's Creek. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. That is the flaw in the play. Yeah.

Sorry, sir. I know everyone who's on Dawson's Creek. Who do you think that's? James Van Der Beek over there? Joshua Jackson? Joshua Jackson, like she just mentioned. Katy Perry. Katy Holmes.

Michelle Williams. Michelle Williams, yes. Michael Pitt was on one of the last seasons. No way. So was What's Her Face, who was in the video for Had a Bad Day by Daniel Pouter. Ah! Talk about your deep, deep cuts, holy cow.

Girl in Bad, Had a Bad Day music video. Is that who I'm thinking of? What is his name? Daniel Pouter? That was Daniel Pouter. Because you had a bad... That was the song they played whenever someone got kicked off of American Idol. Oh, really? Yeah.

That's very, very mean. Insulting. Really? Six seasons. Huh. Six seasons. Yeah. And it was a show that I never got into. No. Six seasons, huh. Six seasons. Yeah, and it was a show that I never got into, never. No.

I mean, I liked what I was seeing. Sure, it seems like something you would really like. Yeah. Samari Armstrong. Samari Armstrong. Samari, she anyway, she was one of the people that was in the later seasons of. Doesn't scream. Doesn't scream, according to this, I'm wrong.

No, she was, she was on the OC. Same vibe, same vibe. I did watch some of the OC. Yeah? Yeah, it was good. Was that, the California was the theme song? Yeah. Yeah. I don't wanna do anything. Was that Leighton Meester was on that?

No, she was on- Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl, yes, yes, yes. Should we do a thing where we go through the top four cast mates of all these shows? I won't know them. I don't know who the, no. Misha Barton was on the OC along with

Oh, what was her name? Rachel Billson. Rachel Billson. Adam. Oh, I know the guy. Oh yeah, and he was just in that like, nobody wants this. Yeah.

He's very good. And the guy, the blonde guy. Yeah. Did that to me. Benjamin Button. And then Gossip Girl, who are you to call the top four from Gossip Girl? The lady from the movie, The Bloom Lady. The Bloomsburg, the crisis management for this conversation.

Yeah, no, no, keep going. Her. Yeah. It Ends With Us was the movie. Which I watched. And her name is? Bloomsburg. watched and her name is Bloomsburg. Blake Lively, Blake Bloomsburg. Lively.

Yes. What's Bloomsburg? The crisis management in the movie, her name is Lily Bloom. Oh, right. And she has this flower shop. But she never read the script or the book. And so she just really like honed in on a few details. Like she always wears it.

It's a fantastically bad movie. And the fallout from it is so complicated and confusing. Was that the one where everybody hated each other on it? Yeah. Okay. And the- There was some lip reading of- Lake Bloomblur again to her husband, Ryan Reynolds.

Gotcha. Tried to do a little gotcha on the other producer. Justin Baldoni. And now I don't know who's right here, but the tides keep kind of turning. I'm confident in saying they all suck. Yeah, it does sort of, it has gotten to that point. There was her and that's where your girl

Leighton Meester was from. Right. And- Peyton Mystery. Peyton Mystery was on it, Leighton Meester, Peyton mystery. Peyton mystery was on it. Leighton Meester, Peyton mystery. Wait, what's his name? Susie Bloomberg.

What's his name? He's got cute teeth. Yeah, who's the guy from him? Yeah, her. From her. From you. From you. You guys are a couple of nuts.

We've all had COVID at least once. Our brains are just full of holes. And then there was also the guy, the handsome, mean boy. But have you ever seen that he's actually, have you ever seen? He's actually British. Boy! Yes, his American accent is really bad.

It's very cute. Yeah, it's like, Grrr. Is it Rupert Grint? Rupert Grint. Now say it with British accent it Rupert Grint? Rupert Grint. Now say it with a British accent. Rupert Grint? It's frozen.

Isn't that what you said with Gordon Ramsay? I feel like that was your best phrase. It's raw. It's raw, raw, not it's frozen. That's what I was saying with a British accent the whole time, it's raw. Yeah, no, that's what I mean. It's just so good when you brought up a British accent.

I just wanted one to hear it again. What is the other guy's name, the little vampire man from that channel? Okay, I actually do wanna know, been doing this all the time. It's role! Yeah, no, that's what I mean. It's just so good when you brought up a British accent. I just wanted to hear it again. What is the other guy's name? The little vampire man from that show. Okay, I actually do want to know. And there was another girl too. She was much younger than the other. And wasn't one of the parents like a really famous soap opera person?

Oh, okay, Lake Lively, Leighton Meester, Kelly Rutherford, don't know about that. Penn Badgley. Penn Badgley? Penn Badgley, oh yeah. Curly mop of hair. Such a cutie. Chase Crawford. I remember there was someone- Oh, I don't know who that is. Penn Badgley. Penn Badgley? Penn Badgley, oh yeah. Curly mop of hair. Such a cutie. Chase Crawford.

I remember there was someone. I don't know who that is. There was, because the names Penn Badgley and Chase Crawford are such. Just like, this like we put, we, a lab, a computer came up with these names for heartthrobs. I remember there was a guy on Glee named Cordoverstreet. Yes, Cordoverstreet.

What? Ed Westwick was Chuck Bass, that's what it was. Okay. And Taylor Blomson was younger than everyone else. What is that guy from The Lost Boys? He's one of the Corys. Corsett. Corey Feldman.

Corey Feldman. He looks a little bit like Corey Feldman. You think Ed Westwick does? Yeah. Guys, if you're at home, look it up. Do you agree, do you not? Email us. Is this...

So you watched a movie? Uh-huh, I watched the movie and I fell asleep during Conclave and that brings us to speed. Did you fall asleep during Conclave? No. No, ah boy, what was Graham talking about? Thanks for paying attention to you guys. Oh yeah, you went to dinner, you got a burger.

Yeah. You didn't have a burger. You guys suck. No, no, we just bounced around so much. Don't take it personally. I do take it personally, because I remember what your thing was, scrubs, and your thing. It's raw. Was, it's raw.

But you first said it wasn't raw. Yeah, I said it was frozen. So you don't really remember. So what you do, but do you remember my song? Yes. I love the big song. I'm. Yeah, I said it was frozen. So you don't really remember. But you remember my song? Yes, I'm a big, I'm a lighter. This is fun. This is fun.

Do we wanna move on and talk a little bit about Mac's fun drive? Sure, but only if we do overhertz after that. You got it. Okay, Alicia, thanks for letting us do this that's nice of you you're you want to sit there but you don't want to say anything she's nodding she's dying oh no okay you can speak if you want she's shy yeah big shy oh she's oh she's got a big sippy cup and. Alicia, we're trying to do business here.

Remember when Chris locked in all the sound effects? Yeah, his truck sound effect, one of the best. Yeah, that was last week, folks, but this is this week. And right now we are talking about Max Fun Drive. This is going to be the last big break we take. Yeah. We are so privileged to be able to make this show. And the reason we can make this show

is because we are supported by you. We don't take no crap from nobody. No shit from no one. You, we don't take no guff. Back the fuck off. But we don't do any ads. We are fully supported by our listeners. And if you would like to be one of those listeners

who supports the show, go to maximumfund.org slash join. You click on a bunch of things. You say what show, you say how much you wanna give, you say what shows you listen to, and then the money just magically comes off your credit card. Yeah, and then you know what? It's easy peasy. You just put it in, set it and forget it,

they would say on late night TV. Now, you're probably thinking, hey, what's in it for me? Yeah, what the hell, man? And you know what? There's lots. There's lots in it for you. First of all, if you support the show at $5 a month,

you're getting a double dose of me and Graham every month. And by a double dose, I mean two extra episodes of us. A month, yeah, not just like we're doing it. We're cranking out some gold, gold stuff stuff here and it's just the two of us for most of these episodes It's just me and Graham making each other laugh. Just being a silly silly silly buddies And you're gonna love it. We do it. We talked about all these bonus episodes, but here's why not sell them again here's a little refresher a 90s music quiz

between Graham and my dear wife, Abby. And you know, we're talking about the Seinfeld game where you come up with one storyline, see if you can guess the other three. We do, people love singing their jingles to us. We love hearing them. So we've had a bunch of local jingle episodes. We thought we would just do one, but people keep craving hearing themselves sing on our show. And usually the jingles, local jingles are for, I mean, the, the,

There's water parks. That's the, that's the big thing we didn't realize would be the main type of jingle is water parks and sort of like adventure. Like mini golf, like fun lands. Yeah, because it's hard to do a jingle for like a funeral company or, you know, an estate lawyer. Funeral Jones. There's only one name in funerals and it's Funeral Jones.

Funeral Jones, why did we call ourselves that? Of course, that was Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons melody. Always got time for Tim Hortons. So those are our bonus episodes. We got years and years worth. We've been doing these bonus episodes since 2011, I think.

Yeah, and there's a bunch that we did kind of one a year for a long time, and those are available to you as well. Oh yeah, so you join up. You can hear two new bonus episodes a month. You can also hear the decade plus of bonus episodes we've done. Absolutely. And every other bonus episode on the network. This year, I was a guest on an episode of Wonderful

on their bonus content. Oh yeah! I talked about hockey and I think the conclusion you reached was that Wayne Gretzky is a-okay. I think I maybe said, I think I said I didn't like him but for hockey reasons. For being mean to the caducks. And then if that, if you have a little bit more to join up with per month at $10 a month, you get all those bonus content, Boko, and you get one of 42 enamel pins. Yes. One for every show on the network, plus I think also for other things.

Yeah. Like other inside jokes around the network. And I feel like ours works both as an inside joke and also just a statement on its own. It's a yellow pin that says, no friggin' way. No friggin' way. So let people know, no friggin' way, man. I ain't messin' around.

And that is for new members and people upgrading to $10 a month. But if you are a $10 a month member and you don't want to upgrade to 20, just wait, when this Max Fund Drive is over, you're gonna get a chance to buy all 42 pins. With all money going to charity. And that's so cool.

Now at $20 a month, oh boy, you're gonna have to make a choice. Yeah, it's a real Sophie's choice. And you can either get a beach for the stars towel, or Dave, Or the bucket hat. The beach for the stars towel is a crazy, beautiful, colorful, maximum fun towel

that looks really awesome and will, I guarantee it's gonna keep you so dry. Oh man. It's gonna dry you off so well. And you can put that down on the sand, right? And then just maybe make a little headrest for yourself with a little pile of sand. You know what I don't like?

I don't like that we, there's a hierarchy of towels. I don't think that there should be bath towels and beach towels. Beach towels, you should be able to have a beach towel as your bath towel. And I also think all towels should have prints on them. I think it should always be fun instead of just, you know, unified color or whatever.

Or you could go bucket hat. That's your other option. The bucket hat, much more subdued much classier It's just got the maximum fun rocket But you know what? This is totally a taste thing. Do you like yeah? What do you like they're both summary one's gonna keep the the Sun out of your eyes one's gonna keep the sand out of your butt out of your petude and That's at the $20 level.

These are all for new and upgrading members. If you just wanna stick where you're at, you're gonna get the bonus content. Absolutely, and for everybody out there that's listening to this right now, we're not taking away the regular episodes. You got access to all of our regular episodes. So if you can't make it this year, no worries.

The bonus content is the thing. It is, it's sizzling hot. So if you're like, well, I can't really upgrade this year, doesn't really make sense for me. Still got those bonus episodes. They're the things we're pouring our heart and soul into. Absolutely, it's a treat to be able to do more of the show a month.

Exactly. So we would really appreciate if you go to maximumfun.org slash join. If you want to join at a higher level, there's other gifts you could get that are MaxFun themed. But I think we've made a pretty compelling case. We've whet your whistle. And if you're gonna do it, now's the time the time. Head over to maximumfun.org slash join.

You know what? Should we get back to our friend Alicia? Only if she's got an overheard. Okay. Overheard. Overheard. We love them, you love them. If you don't know what it is by the name, I can't help you. But we always like to start with the guest. Alicia, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I do. And I'm so glad you guys had me on. And I'm so glad I remembered to write this down.

I was walking behind a group of kind of businessy guys, younger. And I was like, fuck, they were not walking fast enough. I think it was just right around here. Why aren't they walking fast enough? Because they're having a good time. They should be grinding. They're not grinding. And, uh... You and your grind, Dave.

I have to wear a mouth guard. And this is all that I caught was one of... And they were kind of pushing each other. They were like business bros. And one guy said to his friend, you got tendies at a Michelin star restaurant? And then his friend said, yeah, I was just craving chicken strips.

I don't know what he ordered, but it sounded like whatever on the menu was closest to a chicken strip he got. And that was very funny to me. I love chicken tendies. I don't, I mean, I guess they're fine, but I'm not like- Are we talking guys that you dip? Is that- Yeah.

I'm not so tendy-pilled. I don't know, yeah, cheese-a-lease, cause that was always with plum sauce, I feel like. Oh yeah. Oh, honey mustard. Honey mustard, a hot mustard for me. Yeah, when I get them, all the nuggets are the original and they would come with,

I would always get barbecue as a child. And I felt like nuggets were vastly superior to any other chicken tendies. Sure, Popeyes does some great ones. Great nugs. Yeah, great tendies, but you know what? It's all trash. If you're going to a Michelin star restaurant,

you gotta get the spoonful of crab. I'm exactly picturing. An $80 spoonful of crab. Yeah, there was for sure some sort of gold on the menu at this place. It must have been some kind of gold shavings or something. I don't know. Just like, they were just like cajoling him over,

still wanting to eat like a child, which I understand. I understand too, but I put childless things away and now I do man things and I eat a big mushroom. What are your top three man things? Eating a big mushroom. Spoonful of crab. Spoonful of crab. Yeah. This was strictly the culinary man thing. of things. Eating a big mushroom. Yeah, a spoonful of crab. A spoonful of crab.

This was strictly the culinary man thing. A spoonful of crab, a big mushroom, and raw onion. Oh, wow. Wow. It's raw. Yeah. The big mushroom, by the way. Ask me what my man things are.

What's your man, top three man thing? Food-wise. Any way. Genitals. Yeah, genitals-wise. That guy from White Lotus is dick. Yum yum. I think my man things are I own a lot of tools. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't know how to use any of them. Also a man thing. Let's do. Jeans. I like a jean. I like wearing jeans. Sure.

Those are man things, right? Hating women. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. High five. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No, on this show we celebrate women, we celebrate everyone, we sing the body electric. Graham, what are your man things? I wanted to do food man things. You do food man things. Well, I don't know, cause I don't think I have any. I mean food man things. But I don't know, because I don't think I have any.

I mean food man things are like. Barbecue. Barbecue, bacon, everything. Yeah. I am in my bacon era, I have to say. Yeah? Yeah. I'm not like, I'm trying not to,

but like bacon has become a thing that I crave. Bacon is bae. Yeah. Okay, you're meant. My brother once gave me, this was when bacon, Yeah. Okay. Your man. My brother once gave me, this was when bacon, like if people are, if anyone's new to the planet, bacon was huge from 2005 to 2015. There was bacon in everything. It was really annoying. My brother once got me bacon shaving cream. And I never used it. It smelled revolting. I had the bacon and eggs ice cream at Rainer Schein,

just a scoop, just a taster. And? It was delicious actually, it was pretty good. For something that is not good, it was good. My dad loved bacon, couldn't stand the smell of it being. Oh yeah. My kids have discovered breakfast sausages, because last year they had.

The round ones or the links? Yeah. No, the links. Last year they had like a year end breakfast and my daughter's- More like a rear end. My daughter gets, this is a school. I'm in a sausage.

My daughter didn't get her first pick of what to bring. She's like, we have to bring breakfast sausage, whatever that is. And so I bought some and I made it and she loved it. And now, and it's like, it doesn't stink up the house. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love breakfast links. There was, oh, what was I watching?

Some show that was filmed in that era. And this guy had a different bacon shirt in every interview. I hated him. I hate it. It used to be enough to- What's a bacon shirt? Like a bacon. Everything's better with bacon.

Oh yeah, like a graphic tee. Yeah, a graphic tee. Not like a. Like a shirt made out of bacon. Shirt made out of bacon or like bacon pattern. Like a gaga. Yeah. Dave, do you have an over-word?

Yeah. Okay. I was driving the other day. Nice. And I was behind a Jeep. Okay. I was driving the other day. Nice. And I was behind a Jeep. Okay. And the Jeep had a license plate holder and the top said, relax.

And the bottom said, God is in charge. Oh, that is nice. That's really comforting when you're driving. Yeah. Just take your hands off the wheel. Jesus take the wheel. Yeah. Yeah, is it also, is there an airplane, co-pilot? Just take your hands off the wheel. Jesus take the wheel. Yeah.

Yeah, is it also, is there an airplane co-pilot? God is my co-pilot, Jesus take the wheel. God is in charge of drive, of all of traffic. What a world of, yeah, you know? Yeah, don't worry about it, God's got this. Don't, yeah, don't worry. Don't. Don't. Do you think God's up there?

Do you think, first of all, do you think he's an old man with a long beard? Yeah, Mr. Natural. A long beard but short mustache. And he's directing traffic up there. Yeah, he can do everything. He can be there, he can be here. Choosing who wins sporting events and Academy Awards.

Yeah, and like, you know, everybody prays for it, but only one prayed enough to get the championship, whatever, the Oscar. Well, do they pray enough or do they pray better? Yeah. Is it the hours or is it the quality or quantity? Yeah. That's true.

So congratulations to everyone who prayed from Enora. And none of us have seen Enora? No, I really liked it. I'm interested in it. I would really like to, although when given the opportunity yesterday, I went Mickey 17. Yeah. And would you recommend Mickey 17?

If people like that kind of thing. Yeah, like sci-fi. He slept through a bunch of Mickey's. I really didn't fall asleep in that one. It was tough. And my contact lenses- If you have been trying to convince us that you didn't fall asleep the entire time

that you've told us about this movie, your eyes get really small, like you're trying to remember if you fell asleep or not. Yeah, it was a struggle. Are you falling asleep now? Yeah, I think. I'm the audience proxy in this case. Yeah, I think if you like something along the lines,

oh, you know what? I wanted it to be more like Edge of Tomorrow. That's what I assumed it was, but not so much. No. Okay. But if you like, you know, sort of, if you like, it reminded me a bit of that. It reminded me a bit of,

like Groundhog Day? Snowpiercer. Snowpiercer, yeah. It reminded me a bit of Pacific Rim. Okay. The sets are very like. They just use the same set. Yeah, that kind of thing.

They found them. But I don't think it's as good as any of those three movies. Yeah, well, Sonata Ringing. No, sorry. Endorsement. Go back to making Twilight movies, sir. That's not fair. No, it's not fair.

He actually makes some really interesting choices. He's so much more than Twilight guy. What was his name? Edward, his name was Edward. Edward of Sexton. His name was Edward of Jacob. Edward of Jacob. Hello. Hello. Also his name's Robert Pattinson. Hard to say.

Let's just round it off to Patterson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take it easy. Is it probably because there's already a guy with the guild that has that name? With gills. Yeah, a guy with gills. Robert Potterfall. That's me. Oh, I'm team bad guy. She's got to choose between a werewolf, a vampire and a thing from the black lagoon. And then they all go to high school together, but he doesn't, he can't human up. He's just like. I'm also 500 years old. Remember when they have sex and it breaks the bed? Because vampires are very, vampires are very have white.

And she's like, I can handle it. Vampires have very strong pelvises. And doesn't the. That's what they're known for. That's where their wings attach when they fly at night. But if I was a vampire, I would not try to have powerful sex that broke the bed because I'd be worried about those shards of wood

and the stakes. Yeah. And also, didn't her baby almost kill her? Yeah. Yeah, but that, to be fair, that happens to every mother. Oh yeah, fair enough, yeah. Yeah, and they played baseball really loud. Those are the three big things.

I'm gonna rewatch. Really loud? Yeah, they had to do it during a thunderstorm because they hit them so hard that they made like crackle. And never put those two things together. Yeah, they made crackle originals. They made crackle originals. Comedians and cars coming up. We gotta wait for a thunderstorm

because I wanna drive Todd Barry around in an old car. That's actually the worst episode of that. Have you ever seen the Todd Berry Comedians in Cars? They have nothing in common, they're quiet most of the time. They just like drive in silence. Do you think they hate each other? I don't know. I'd like to think they do.

I don't know if they waste their time on hate. I've only seen one and that was a Jimmy Fallon one. Oh, he's so fucking funny. You think what it revealed to me is that he's an incredibly like anxious person. Yeah. That is of course heartbreaking in and of itself. I can't think of ring of Volzhen without thinking of him.

That's where his anxiety comes from. He has so much ring anxiety. Oh, fuck. I do too, man. I got this ring. It feels like any day my whole finger could get skinned. Yeah, my friend Frodo had the same thing. He wouldn't know he fell asleep.

Lord of the Ring of Volzhen. You haven't overheard. I do. Lord of the Ring of Olsen. You haven't overheard. I do. Mine is courtesy of Mr. Phil Hanley on stage at the Vogue. There was a cameraman who was like, oh, so he did have a cameraman. Stills. He, and sometimes a cameraman could be very stealth and sometimes depending on their position,

not at all. And there was a point where he was like at the edge of the stage taking a kind of- Worst angle. Just the worst possible angle. Fitzwill is a male model. He's gorgeous. He knows his angles. He's very attractive.

But when it happened and he was like noticeably interrupting the flow of the show, he said, what are you trying to find a polyp on my penis? Which I just thought was great. Can a penis get a polyp? I don't know. I know a colon can. Yeah.

Polyps on my colon. I guess it could travel. They're pink and kind of swollen. Keep going. Write it down. People think it's funny, but it's really warm and runny. The things you learn as an RA. Yeah, when you're sliding into the first and your pants are gonna burst,

there's a polyponic colon and it's picking kind of swollen. Excellent. We also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. You wanna send one in? Send it in to sbyatmaximumfun.org. This first one comes from Zachary N from Denton, Texas.

Yeah, I've never heard of Denton before. Oh, I have. I've never heard of Denton. There's a great song called the best ever death metal band out of Denton by the Mountain Goats. Nice, okay. Check it out.

Yeah, check it out. I like the Mountain Goats. You like the Mountain Goats? Yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's all good. That's good. I was walking downtown on an unseasonably cold and rainy day when I saw a mother with her kid.

Her kid was wearing shorts and shivering when the mother said, are you cold, honey? You want my jacket? To which the kid adamantly replied in a frustrated voice, Mom, I'm not cold. It's just that my emotions are cold. Mm. Mm. Very teenager, very teenager. I've got cold, it's just that my emotions are cold. Mm. Mm. Very teenager, very teenager, I've got cold emotions.

Yeah. It is that time of year where people do, oh, it's Texas, I guess it's warm there all the time. Yeah, oh yeah. I don't actually know. It's a big state, they have a lot of climate. Yeah, I don't know, I'm so sorry. Also, doesn't Texas and New Mexico get really cold at night?

Yeah, I fucked up, I just fucked up, let's drop it cold at night? Yeah, I fucked up. I just fucked up. Let's drop it. I fucked it up. I'm embarrassed. Move on. Did you ever go against your parents' wishes for what to wear for warmth?

Oh yeah. Constantly. I have to fight myself daily. I was gonna wear a totally different outfit. I was like, you're going to be cold. Yeah, you're in Quebec. Yeah. Do you have a like a go to winter coat or do you were doing every? When? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

When? Answer the question. Answer the question. Did you have a go to winter coat in your past? Yeah, of course. When would you go to it? Winter? Winter.

But what were you fighting against? If they were... I was really like, wanted to look cool. Yeah. I really thought like, if I found the right outfit, I would have friends. There was the, like, I take my kids to school and some kids, you can just tell like,

oh, my mom made me wear this. It's not snowing and I'm wearing snow pants. And they're like the kind that have suspenders and nobody likes me. Yeah. And they're just dragging their giant winter boots. Did you guys ever have ski tags on your winter coat? I had skin tags on my winter coat.

Oh shit. Yeah. No cure, no cure. It's like a polyp on your penis. A skin tag on your weenies. Nice. Yeah, they do. They don't seem to grow on my weenies.

I'm a big armpit guy. But apparently. The friction. But apparently it's also people get them in their groin. Oh no. Yeah, I got a... Where are we going? I got an Instagram ad of...

This is so gross. I love it. For like this thing that puts little elastics around your skin tights. How little? Tiny. Tiny's gotta be. And... That like chokes it out. They didn't have... Yeah, I guess so. Tiny's gotta be. And, but they didn't have,

yeah, I guess so. Chokes it out. And they didn't have any groins though, but I did know that. Circle back. Yeah. Got some groin photos for you. Hopefully soon I'll get advertised the groin reducer.

This next one comes from Nate from Washington, DC. I was walking around downtown New York city. Wow. I heard two 20 something women talking to each other. Women one, woman one. So I'm sponsored by rum now. Woman two, oh cool, which rum? Woman one, no, just rum.

I'm sponsored by rum now. The rum council. Yep, I'm here on behalf of Cuba. Yeah. And I love rum. I do love rum. Yeah, what's your favorite rum drink? I don't know.

I don't really have one. I just have been thinking I should get back into drinking. Yeah. I tried to make a Bloody Mary the other day at a friend's house and was my job for this dinner thing to bring a Bloody Mary. And then I got there and couldn't do the conversions for volume and wasn't very good.

Yeah. So I think. Not boozy enough, too boozy? Not savory enough. Oh, okay. And I, because a bunch of people that were there were. Was this for a dinner? Yeah.

That's a breakfast drink. Yes, you're correct. But you know what? I've been craving one and I'm still craving one because I did not nail it. Yeah, sometimes I crave a beating. And then the ice and the drink touched my teeth so I was over. Oh, is that bad for you?

I just don't like it. I don't think it's bad for me, but I just can't enjoy a drink. No, I know it's not bad for you, bad for you, but like bad for you. It's bad for me. What about straw? Would you like a straw? Yes, I love straws.

Let me get you a straw. I always drink out of straws. And I throw them in the ocean. Sure, yeah. I grab the turtles, I wrap straws. Let me get you a straw. I always drink out of straws. And I throw them in the ocean. Sure, yeah. I grab the turtles, they wrap them up. We have, we get juice boxes and it just occurred to me that they come with paper straws that are wrapped in plastic.

I know, it is one of those things that, yes, it's good to reduce plastic. Was this the correct battle? I'm unsure. I miss plastic bags in a big way. I know, I think I brought you over. I had a stash of plastic bags in your, it was like you got a birthday present.

Yeah, it's my mom sends them to me whenever she has one. Calgary has not banned them, right Alberta? I don't think so. Well, they probably make them with all that extra oil. Exactly. Somebody's gotta buy it. Those pumps. And when your mom gives them to you,

she's like, just here it says, this is not a toy. Just so you know. Don't get too excited about this. It's not a joke I was gonna make, and it was a much better joke. Okay. This last one comes from Alan from Missouri. We have a seven-year-old daughter in first grade,

and there is a boy who just moved into our neighborhood who is in kindergarten. So I guess first grade kindergarten, younger. My wife and I were both working from home last week and this kid walks into our house without knocking or ringing the doorbell and starts wandering around without acknowledging my wife and I sitting there staring at him. My wife looked at him and said, hi, you're probably looking for our daughter. What's your name?

He looked at her and responded, I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. That's so funny. What's that little guy doing? I don't know. He just, I mean, you know, once you get through the door. Yeah. Yeah. That's like.

I love being in other people's houses. I hate it. You do. Yeah. I don't think you've ever been in my house. Maybe. I've been. Yeah.

I haven't been in Graham's. Oh, it's fun. Sure. You want to invite me? Yeah. Oh, it's fun. Sure, you want to invite me? Yeah, Dave, let's drink some rum together. Normally people don't want to invite me because I am a vampire. I invite you in.

Yeah, well, that's great everyone. And in addition. Both of us are already planning our Dave Hangouts and Dave's like, let's move on. But we're like, no, we're gonna have Dave to our houses. The little kid going into the house, that's very cat behavior. Yeah, just walking into a stranger's house.

Yeah. I loved this kid, man. The bold. I can't talk to you. I would be freaked out by that. But I'm not allowed to talk to strangers. Zing. I was, yeah. In addition to over-hours that are written in, not allowed to talk to strangers. Zing. I was, yeah.

In addition to over-hers that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. Now, phone calls, lately, the quality, not, this is not your fault listeners. It's the person who makes the, who gives us the phone calls, puts it through the computer. They sound like shit.

And so I'm encouraging you to send us a voice memo. Jesse Thorne says we should just stick it out with the phone calls. No, no, no, Jesse, we're going voice memos. Go to your phone, open the voice memo, record it, send it to SPY at MaximumFun.org. Or if you wanna roll the dice, 1-844-779-7631, that's one.

Ugh, Spypod, one. Like these people have. But these ones all sound good. Hey, Dave and Graham and impossible guest. This is Gabe from Baltimore. I was just in the mall picking up something for my daughter. I walked by a, you know, the mall kiosk. It was like one of those kiosks that has, I guess,

like essential oils or some kind of smelly oil. And they were all labeled. And I looked down at the one that was right in the middle. The name of it was pink pussy. Jesus. Oh, wow. Don't get more essential, wow, shit. Don't get more essential than that, baby.

Am I right? Am I right, fellas? Yeah, I mean, like, isn't there, there was, I feel like the lid on that was blown off with Gwyneth Paltrow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like in the vagina candle.

Which, I don't know anybody that ever saw one or smelled one, so that could be all just. And that was based on her own scent? Yeah. But it was just like herbs and essential oil type smells. It wasn't like. Are you sure? Yeah.

Was it shaped like her bajingles? No. No, it was just a candle? Yeah. Gwyneth,altrow's vagina. Vagina candle. Google says, yep, it is just a regular looking candle. And it says, this smells like my vagina.

But it means a little more class A than pink pussy, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think yeah. Yeah. I think that's tough for parents to walk through a mall and see something that's like that. Yeah.

Just a little bit like, hey, you know, this kid's here. Yeah. They're not ready for this convo. That should be behind the till. I gotta tell you, as a parent, it's fine. That's good. You can walk through, you can sell me anything. I'm not weird about it. So that was a voice memo. That sounded really good. You can walk through, you can sell me anything. I'm not weird about it.

So that was a voice memo. That sounded really good. This is a phone call. I picked this phone call. I still listen to all the phone calls. Some of them end up sounding good. So here we go. Hi Dave Graham, this is Dustin from Richmond, Virginia.

I was just behind a car at a stoplight and the bumper sticker said, punk shoe, if you're asleep at the wheel. Okay, love you, bye. Love it. Love it. That's kind of bumper sticker I can get behind. Yeah, I'm gonna honk.

Oh wait, no, I didn't finish reading. I like that honk shoe has become kind of a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you snore, are you a honk shoe? Are you, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, like that's out of the side of my mouth. Oh, okay. When you snore, are you a honk shoo or are you, heebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebiebie yeah. You? I'm a Yeah.

Like that. I'm the one where the tissue flies up in the air. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm a side sleeper, so when I was sleeping on my back, big snores. Yeah. Same. But then I went side. And you never look back? Yeah.

I guess I, if I gotta have a nap, I go lie on my back. But if I'm sleeping, that's gotta be a rel. I always, yeah, I have to remember that. Lie on my back, I having a nap. Lie on my side, I having a nap lie on my side. What's asleep? I reside Just as good today as when it was written and finally Hey Dave Graham and possible

In Chicago calling in an overheard that is from ten years ago and just popped into my head for some reason. I used to work for an art handling company and we were receiving a shipment of crates from a museum. Museum shipments often come with a courier who is there to supervise the changeover. Our project manager, who is a real prick by the way, was really obsessed with the fact that the courier's last name was Starbright and kept going to each of us on the crew being like, Starbright, that's an interesting name. Do you think that's Native American? Don't you think that's a Native American name?

What kind of name is that? Native American? Anyway, when she finally arrived, I overheard him saying, Starbright, that's an interesting name. Is that German? And she, in an exasperated tone, replied, no, it's a divorce name. Is that German?" And she in an exasperated tone replied, no, it's a divorce name. I gave it to myself. Oh.

Anyway, off I go. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Such a crispy, crispy message. Yeah, very crispy. It sounded really good. That's cool. That is cool. I love the idea of, I used to work as an art handler. The real, what did he call the guy? A real prick. That is cool. I love the idea of, I used to work as an art handler.

The real, what did he call the guy? A real prick. I love that 10 years later, he's still, it's like that guy was a real prick. Like I relate to that sort of like, I'll never not think of that person that way. Grudge. You have like the worst boss,

or they all blend together. And I can remember my worst boss, he sucked. Bosses that I thought were the worst that have been surpassed by corporate bosses in a way that is like meme, just memeification of my life. Yeah. But yeah, I had some really bad bosses. Yeah. Yeah.

You Dave, bad boss? Just, yeah. He's a man. Yeah, like working for very small companies and the owner of the company is my boss and he cares and I don't. Whatever you say, man. Yeah, sure. I mean, I, I get why you're mad, but I'm making $30,000.

So yeah, exactly. Like try I'm000, so. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like, I'm trying to care, but. Yeah, it's really like, it's rough. Like, you're making so much more money and you don't seem to do any of it. Yeah, and you own the company, so you probably have a nice fund going there for your retirement or something.

For a long time, my worst boss, who I don't think of as my worst boss at all anymore, because I do think I learned a lot working for him, he bought a sports car and we couldn't cash our paychecks for a couple of days. Oh, Jesus, really? And yeah, and I was like, you know, like really living a hand-to-mouth existence

at like 10 or $12 an hour kind of kid. And had nothing to my name. And I was like, I needed that paycheck. But we had a lovely accountant that made sure I could cash my paycheck. Nice. Yeah, but you know, if you ever get a sports car, things smells like that candle.

Yeah, yeah. It smells like it's just dripping with essential oil. He 100% had a model girlfriend. He did? Oh yeah. Nice. Beautiful woman. Which came first, car or model?

Action model girlfriend. Model girlfriend. But he had to keep her. Yeah, exactly. I had a model girlfriend too. She was just like the perfect girlfriend, always doing her girlfriend duties. I don't know.

She was a model student and then she became my model girlfriend. Well, I think that brings us to the end of this year episode. Yeah, before we say goodbye to Alicia or after we say goodbye to Alicia. I think maybe after Alicia. Okay.

Oh, you wanna get rid of me? No, we wanna stay all day. I have nothing to do, I'm retired. That's nice. Yeah, it is nice, get into it. I mean, you gotta watch your grandchildren grow up. Yeah, that's true. And-

They're so delicate at this age. Do you have anything, you're on Blue Sky. I'm on Blue Sky, you're making tweets, are they called Blue Sky? I think they're Skeets. Skeets, you're making Skeets. Nothing to plug. Nothing to plug, just, you know, if you see her on the street, wave, wave and smile. Don't.

Don't, don't wave or smile. I don't know who you are, I'll feel really bad about it. Okay, don't do that at all. I have really terrible, like, name it. Okay, don't I have don't do that at all. Terrible like name, name Rico. Yeah, me too. We were at a restaurant last week and we were sitting beside people that I know somehow. And it took me a week to figure out who they were.

But I. You did figure it out. He was Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl. Yeah, I did figure it out. Yeah. Before we go, I just want to say not related to anything we were talking about. Perfect. Off air. No, related to something off air.

Graham has posters of his face on, all over the city? All over the city. Advertising his show every Thursday night, the Laugh Gallery. Laugh Gallery. And, yeah, but on the same poster, poll, there have been pictures of Chewbacca

and someone's having a Chewbacca. Chewbacca off. Chewbacca like, like, impression competition. Feels like, Like it might be a fetish. Oh, you think it's a fetish? Well, there's a famous, like a viral thing a few years ago

about an Australian woman who whose ex-boyfriend did a Chewbacca noise competition and put it in the newspaper, but gave her phone number. But these all just seem to be going to an email ad. Yeah, I remember that lady on the news story. She's just like, it's in the middle of the night. They just kept playing them.

Some are very good. Some are just yelling into the phone. Some are very good. Some are very good. I'm a nice person. So, you know, if you want to join up with the Chewbacca contest, I believe I put a picture of me pointing at it on Instagram.

And follow us on Instagram. It's a podcast in years old, why don't you? Yeah, you guys are doing a great little job on H&R. We do little videos occasionally. Yeah, you did a doing a great little job on H&R. We do little videos occasionally. Yeah, you did a really good video from last week's R&B, or H&R, H&R Block. H&R Block, yeah. Which, just quickly, what does that stand for?

Hamburgers and root beer. Yeah, that's the stuff. Well, thank you so much for being our guest, Alicia. It was a pleasure, it was so nice to see you both. And just before we go, another word about the MaxFun Drive. Yeah, this is the last time we're gonna talk about it. So head over to maximumfun.org slash join. Everything you do supports us, every little bit helps.

If you like the show, it would be awfully nice if you pitched in and helped us out. Pitch in, you bitches. Pitch in, you bitches, That's the slogan this year. It took us two episodes to come up with it. But we did it. Yeah. So thank you very much.

Alicia, thank you very much for everybody out listening. Like Dave said, if you got the scratch, why not show up? And count yourself a monster. What? You said, pitch in, you bitches. Oh yeah, sorry. Dave said, pitch in, you bitches. And, sorry. They said, pitch in you bitches. And come on back next week for another episode

of Stop Picking Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.