Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 892 - Julie Kim

Episode Date: April 22, 2025

Comedian Julie Kim joins us to talk TV dinners, snowboarding, and voting.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 892 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me, as always, is a man who, oh boy, he can't wait for these April showers to be done so that he can tend to his May flowers. It's Dave Schumpke. Yeah. The thing about May flowers is they're the ship that all the pilgrims go.

That's right, yes. We don't learn about that in Canadian history. No, but I know that Plymouth Rock landed on us. Yeah, we didn't land on Plymouth Rock. All the American history we learned is from the trailer for Malcolm X. And the trailer for 1492. Yeah. And and whatever was there a Mayflower movie no no pilgrim movie I mean probably the crucible is kind of a pill yeah or the Scarlet Letter yeah scarlet letter horny one they were all I moves the suppression that made it so hard

yeah yeah they're all putting talcum on their nether region. Buckling their hats so they don't fly off. Eating some cornflakes. They're on to well bills of Pilgrim movie. Our guest today, first time guest here on the podcast. She has her own podcast that comes out weekly called Bothered, and she is playing the Vogue Theatre in Vancouver, British Columbia on May 24th. It's Julie Kim. Hello, Julie. Hi, Graham. Hi, Dave. Hi. Was it May 24th or May 24th?

24th. Okay. May 24th. May 24th be with you, all right? Yeah. Isn't that also the May 2 for a weekend? Is it? I don't think so because May 24th, well, it is a weekend. It's Saturday, May 24th here. What the hell does May 24 mean? It doesn't have to do with beer? It has something to do with drinking. We don't have, in Canada, we don't have Memorial Day. Our May long weekend is, is it different in every province? And so they just generalize it to May 24th.

Maybe. Is that right? So this year, it's the Monday before that's the holiday, it's Victoria Day. Yeah. In BC, it's Victoria Day. I don't know if it's the same in every province. I'm from Ontario. I believe we called it Victoria Day.

Yeah. What do they call it in Newfoundland? I don't know. In Calgary, it's called Wrangler Day. It did not. No. Was it Victoria Day there? I don't remember it being Victoria Day. I just remember the term May 2, 4 weekend

because people would get drunk. A 2, 4 is a 24 pack of beer in this country. Is that right? That's correct. I'm going to look up, is there a Nate? No, there's nothing on Google calendar. Ah. Ha ha ha.

Do we want to get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. So you're playing the freaking Vogue Theater. This is incredible. I'm pretty excited. Yeah. People who aren't from Vancouver and don't know Vogue

is a bit like a legendary venue. It's been here since probably the 40s or something. You see pictures of Granville Street in like the early 50s, and it's all neon all the way down the street. And the Vogue's there, and the Orpheum's there, and everything else is gone. Yeah, it is really neat for me. So it's the last show in a Canada-wide tour

that I'm in the middle of doing right now with MRG, which is really exciting because it's also the biggest tour that I've ever done. My dogs are going insane. It's not your dogs. I thought that was just coming in through my headphones. Oh yeah, it's a caller. We have a caller.

What's going on? I mean, you could be being ransacked upstairs. Yeah, we could be being ransacked, but the dogs seem to have it under control. We should lock the door then. Yeah, exactly. We barricade the door, we should be fine. So you're doing- Also, I just broke out into a huge sweat.

So I'm gonna take off my- What happened? Are you okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Don't worry about me. Just go on without me. How many dates have you done so far? Oh, have I done so far?

So we did Kelowna, Kamloops, Whistler, Toronto, Ottawa, Halifax, Montreal, and some of the multiple shows. And then the rest I've put actually on purpose in May for Asian Heritage Month. Okay. So then I've got Victoria, Salt Spring Country. You didn't even know it was Asian Heritage Month. I only know May 2, 4, that's all I know.

This year I'll celebrate Asian Heritage Month while I'm getting drunk on a 2, 4. I only know May 24th, that's all I know. This year I'll celebrate Asian heritage months while I'm getting drunk on a 24th. At my show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then, yeah, so then Calgary and then Vancouver. So I'm ending it on purpose in Vancouver because this is now my hometown. And I feel like I don't stop often to be like,

oh, look how far you're coming or how hard you worked. I was never raised like that. It was more like, you're a piece of shit study harder. That's my mom. Mom and dad, stop calling me a piece of shit. Pretty much. I celebrate piece of shit heritage month. Yeah.

What month is that? For me, it's every month. But I don't stop often and like, you know, rest on laurels or whatever, but I am really, you know, it's kind of sinking in how cool it is to do a big venue like that in your hometown. And now my hometown, cause I'm from Toronto and I've lived here now for maybe 12 or 13 years and coming here as still an open micer and like not even able to get on like local shows.

I remember when you were just starting out. Yeah. You were a kid. Oh, weren't we all? No, I was always old. Aren't we all? Oh yeah. But now it's kind of neat to be able to like, cause you know, that's an easy way to sort

of measure, right? You're in the same city and you were like begging for open mic spots and now doing the Vogue. So that's, that's a nice little thing that I'm, I'm enjoying. It's better than nice little. It's, it's like, it's, I know what you mean, like you want to just keep going. And, but it's like, uh, it's, I've just, I'm floored that I know people who are playing the Vogue. No. Yeah.

It's really, really cool. Thank you. Um, have you been backstage at the Vogue? Oh, who are playing the Vogue. No. Yeah, it's really, really cool. Thank you. Have you been backstage at the Vogue? Oh, I performed at the Vogue a bunch, opening for other people. What? I never thought of it as haunted all the time. It's super haunted though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Vogue's super haunted. Wait, tell me your evidence that it is haunted. What is your experience? There's a lot of people who have reported being on stage and seeing somebody dressed in all white in the audience. And they've asked, well, who was that? I couldn't see anybody see this person in all white. And it's happened to numerous performers at the Vogue. And it's not a person who was there unless a guy is showing up in a white suit and leaving before the end.

It might be Ellen hosting the Oscars. I do wish you told me that after my show. Like, what the fuck? Well, now it's something for you to keep tabs on. Well I've actually had no first-hand experience with ghosts, so I'm neither a believer or a denier, I guess. Right, you're kind of waiting. Yeah, I think so. I'm just waiting for May 24th of the book, during Asian Heritage Month to get a freak

day. I better be an Asian ghost. Because it's like, yeah, I mean, they can, they got different ghosts they can cycle through. Absolutely. It's not just the one ghost. Diversity hiring of ghosts. Yeah, it's, we got one for every month. Do you grow up in a home with any superstitions or anything like that?

My family's big ghosts. We love the ghosts, don't we folks? Really? Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Like ghosts in a good way or a bad way? Just-

Or a sexy way. I mean, depending on the ghost. You've got that pottery wheel. It was just something in the, like, because my family's Irish and so there's a lot of like folklore and superstition and believing in spirits and boogeymen and whatnot. Well, interesting. I did not grow up like that, but there was a point where my mom, after her father died, I remember she invited this weird people into our home and they were singing and chanting. I pieced together many years ago that they were like shaman.

Oh, really? The kind that I've only seen in movies. Like, so doing some spiritual stuff. I don't even know a lot about it. I just knew that it felt weird because we were Presbyterian. So we only had like normal sort of church and normal like shaming and things like that. But these guys brought a totally different vibe. It felt weird. Were you confused? Cause you're like, oh, these are shaman. I'm used to shame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did that cross your mind?

Yeah, I wasn't good at puns or alliteration at that time. Did they were on the wrong page of the yellow pages? Oh dear. That's the Asian business directory if you're not aware. Were you? That's not my joke. Was it? Were you an only child? You had siblings? I'm the eldest child. I have two younger siblings and I think that that really shaped me.

Yeah, eldest as well. Yeah. Eldest for life. How does that impact you? I don't know. I think a lot of this stuff, I think with any parents, you probably could attest to the first kid,

you're like really figuring this out on the fly and just seeing what sticks. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess. I was the youngest child and they seeing what sticks. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I guess I was the youngest child and they didn't figure me out. But did you grow up like happy and kind of free because my experience being the eldest child, especially of an immigrant family and being a girl in certain cultures is actually not fun at all.

Yeah. Like you're, you know, I have started jokes along these lines and I'm like, you're kind of like the junior parent and they're always like, you have to set an example and you're responsible. So like, I lost my sense of like being a child and free and being joyful, like super early on, like so early on because I had all the responsibility.

And Did you also like you, your parents had a store and you worked in the store because that was your default where you had to go like- That's where the food was. Yeah, that's why I was overweight when I was little, I think. One, because my parents fed me, my mom mostly fed me, you know, in lieu of, you know, we didn't get out a lot, we didn't have a lot of exercise. What kind of store?

Oh, convenience store. It's so convenient. I know. It kind of store? Oh, convenience store. So convenient. I know, it was great. It was like our pantry. We could go downstairs and we'd be like, can we have some chips? And they'd say no.

And then we'd just run out with chips because they couldn't follow us because they were working. Is there a way? Sometimes. And they couldn't arrest you. Oh, I know, because the police, they were, we, yeah, we bribe the police with chips, but yeah.

Oh, my favorite would be when the, there's a big fridge and they were, we, yeah, we bribe the police with chips, but yeah. Oh, my favorite would be when the, there's a big fridge and a refrigerator, sorry, and a freezer and sometimes the freezer would break. And while at all other times, my dad would like not let us have like the ice cream or whatever when things were melting. Oh yeah. We got to do whatever we wanted

because the worst thing possible is waste. Yeah. Right. Because that's like spending money. So that's when we got to binge. What was your like favorite snack in the store? Like the ultimate. I kind of love all food, but I love chips. I loved an O'Henry.

I really loved a fudgcicle. We also got to try like all sorts of new foods that came out. We ate a lot of dinner, like ready-made dinners, like the salons and dinners and things like that. Oh yeah, yeah. Which is, looking back, kind of not that good for you. Not that good for you and also bad. They're also bad.

I didn't want to say it in case either of you eat them. I did when I was in my, geez. Well, Graham and I are both kind of divorced dads that don't know how to cook. Well, yeah, it's so shitty for you. It's incredibly shitty, but that's what I grew up on. That comes in like a tray. Yes, which probably itself is toxic. Oh, the whole thing is toxic, absolutely.

Can you put the tray in the oven? Plastic or microwave or oven, right? Yeah, okay. Yeah, further tray in the oven. Plastic or microwave or oven, right? Yeah, okay. Yeah, further making it- And you keep a plastic thing on top of it and then you open that, you put a fork in it. Yeah, just enough to make it steamy, but also to leach the chemicals into your food.

Absolutely, I ate them when I was first out of the house like at 19 and even then I was like this is not this can't be good you know my first experience with most western foods was the frozen or canned version of those foods so Salisbury steak was very big oh sure oh sure beef hash we used to have out of i don't know if these foods exist in non-fro Making sales race acre corned beef hash I don't see it on a lot of menus know about when you do in the odd like little diner when you go to gig in a Small town whatever you're like, oh I recognize this. Yeah, that's true. She's all spurs take is a real I feel like it's a high school cafeteria

staple or Elders home like a... Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You were gonna ask what it is? Yeah, is it a hamburger-y thing? I think it's a wet steak. Wet steak.

Okay, yeah. A sloppy steak. Are you gonna look it up? Yeah, I'm gonna look it up. Is it a burger steak, like it's with meat? That's what I thought it was like a cheap, whatever's the cheap... Oh, yeah. Kind of, right? Burger-y, it's kind of like a... It's a process. Almost like a chili- Oh yeah. Kind of right? Burgery is kind of like a, like, um, almost like a

chili looking thing. It's a processed meat. Originating in the United States. Who says they don't have culture? No kidding. Um, yeah, I, uh, when I was, when I was first out of the house, it was TV dinners and then also like a down market beef stew that you could get in a can.

The Puritan? Puritan. Oh my God. That's not down market. Well, it was the only, it's the only canned beef stew with ribo flavor. What about Dinty Moore? Dinty Moore had a meat stew.

See, see, I've had that before and when you open it, Yeah. It smells like dog food. It does. It smells like dog food. It's okay after you've heated it up. Yeah. And if you eat it quickly without smelling it. Yeah, it smells like dog food. It does. It looks like dog food. It's okay after you've heated it up. Yeah. And if you eat it quickly without smelling it. Yeah. But the fact that it smells like dog food when you open it, like any canned meat, even spam. Yeah. Even tuna. Even tuna. Tuna's cat food, sorry. Yeah. No, it's true. I almost accidentally bought cat food. Tuna comes in a container that looks

like cat food. What the hell is that? What's the difference between the tuna in the cat food and the tuna in the human food? Yeah. It's like, yeah. That fancy feast. I mean, that sounds good. What about the Rio Mari? I always see those as the Rio Mari. That's the kind in a bag. That's tuna in a bag. No, it's in the oil in a can. Yeah, they're in the can, but you can also get it in a bag. Gross.

It's gross. Is it gross for you Lauren? No, I mean it sounds gross. My first- It looks good in the ads, but I haven't eaten fish in a while, so I don't know. Is that right? Allergic.

Before I left, before I moved out of the house, I knew how to cook scrambled eggs. Yeah, toss salads? Toss salads cook scrambled eggs. Yeah. Taught salads? Taught salads, scrambled eggs. Maybe I knew how to cook like craft dinner. Yeah. And. You mean prepare.

Yeah. I feel like there should be a different word for. Yeah. Boxed foods. I guess I knew how to cook any pasta. But then I feel like the first things I made as like living on my own were like a junky soup, the soup that eats like a meal.

Yep. Oh yeah. And anything like I knew you could like pour cream of mushroom soup onto a chicken breast. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, this is cooking. Yeah.

This is living. Cans of soup used to be very popular for like making casseroles. Remember people used to talk about casseroles? Yeah, casseroles. I don't think people call them casseroles. Actually, I am a big TikTok food person. They call them bakes now. Anything like that, what you just described, you put a chicken breast in and pour on some cream mushroom soup, they call it a bake. Yeah. That's the new term for casserole.

They used to be- Do you do a bake? Bake. They just call anything a bake. That's the new term for casserole. Do you do a bake? Bake. They just call anything a bake. Do you do bakes? Yes. I remember one time my cousin got married to this woman from the States and she and her sisters came over and they made this thing. All it was was egg, ground beef and like egg noodles, you know, those wide egg noodles. And then they dropped a can of cream of chicken soup and a little shredded cheese.

They baked it and I thought this is disgusting, but then I ate it and it was amazing. It sounds amazing. It was amazing, but I don't think we do that kind of recipe anymore. I've also heard- A lot of salt. Yes.

I've heard them, or like I see in the grocery checkout line, something called dump meals. Yes, that's another one. Which I feel is maybe more of a crock pot thing. Yeah, it is, but they call it that at the store? I mean, they call it that in the like, you know, there'll be a magazine that's like 50 dump meal recipes.

They're talking about 50 dump meals. What is that? That's just a bunch, like just throwing everything in the crock pot? Yeah, pretty much. So the way I've seen them prepared on TikTok and Instagram is, you know, when people, usually a woman, because obviously the load falls on the woman. Oh, always.

In the household. Not unless there's some pure dead beef stew around it. I'll eat that up myself. Thank you very much. But otherwise, if there is respect for the person, they will cook actual food. And it's a form of meal prep where they'll get like these big freezer bags and fill them with every ingredient they would need. Then they freeze it and then they take a big bag out, say for like Tuesday night dinner and literally maybe maybe defrost it and then literally dump it. Like it is the action of only dumping it and then turning on the heat to eventually get a full meal. So this is already seasoned and this is just throw it in

and then it comes out. Yeah, pretty much, pretty much. I also saw some, I was gonna buy it, but it was one of the checkout line like tabloids had the best celebrity pranks. Oh boy, you know who's in there for sure. George Clooney. Clooney was one of the pictures, yeah.

Wait, wait, what happened with Clooney? Clooney's a big pranker. Oh, to prank on people? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. He's a big, it's all sorts of famous stories. Really quickly, my favorite one is- Richard Kind was his roommate.

Richard Kind is his, you know Richard Kind, the actor? You would know him to see him. Let's look at him. He was living with Richard Kind. No, this was after they lived together. This is Richard Kind. That's Richard Kind. Oh, that's his name? Yeah. Okay. We love him. I know him as like, what show was he in? He was on Mad About You. Was he on Mad About You? Was he on Spin City? Might have been on, yeah, he might have been on Spin City, yeah. And was he, well, certainly he's on Curvier Enthusiasm. But he's a guy who's just been in like a million things. Yeah.

So he and George Clooney are long time friends. George Clooney was taking out his garbage one time and saw a very, very bad painting in the alley. So he took the painting and then on Richard Kind's birthday, he was going to give it to him. But in the meantime, he made up that he was going to art class. And so every Wednesday, no matter what, he was like, I'm going to art class. So he'd cancel plans or whatever, I'm going to art class for a year. Then on his birthday, he brings over this awful painting and tells them like, hey,

I painted this for you. And Richard Kind like had to put it up on his wall. And it was there for quite a while. And then George like revealed like, oh, I didn't paint that. You can take it down. Oh, that's great. He's a prankster. No, I love that because you, yeah, I love the whole making the other person feel so uncomfortable and watching as they lie with their emotions. Yes. Like, oh, that's this good. I love that so much and watching as they lie with their emotions.

Yes. Like, oh, that's this good. I love that so much. I pulled a prank on a comic once. Yeah. Did you hear? Yes. It kind of is the same only in terms of the feeling it evoked in the other person.

So a long time ago, I was like middling at Absolute Comedy in Kingston. Like I'm talking a long time ago, like maybe 10 years ago. Sure. And the headliner was Paul Meyerhag. Oh yeah. And the host was a guy named Scott White, who actually is from the US. So Paul was really, really looking forward to this game.

Like maybe it was baseball, maybe it was like World Series time, I don't know. Right. All he was talking about was the fact that he could not wait to go get some beers and chips and watch this game on the only TV in the house where the comics lived, where we all have. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, you're in the condo together. Anyways, I arranged with Scott that we would pretend that I had gotten home first and I was crying because I happened to turn on the TV and there was this movie that reminded me of an ex that either broke my heart or died like years ago. And so when Paul-

Wait, wait, what is this movie? I forget. It was just whatever was on. Do you know what I mean? Pretended that I was really going through a thing and oh my god this movie like I need to watch this whole thing like I'm really like healing. I'm like crying like I'm fake tears and everything

because we knew he was coming home and he had like his beers and his chips and he's like what's going on? And then I like told him, oh my God, like this happened to me and it's just like, I'm really going to this. I would just like really like to just be alone

and watch this movie. And his face just dropped because he wanted to be probably like empathetic and stuff, but then, you know, it ruined everything he was so excited about in that moment. So we got it very good. It was a fun moment. That's really good.

That's really good, cause you're playing psychological chess. Yes, yes. Torture, torture, really. I like to watch people be tortured. I'm not a good prank person. Like, I don't think far enough ahead. But are you also good natured?

No. Oh, okay. I feel like in another life. I'm bad natured, I'm spiteful. I feel like I'm in another life. I'm bad-natured, I'm spiteful. You are? I could see you being a prankster, but you have to apply yourself. I'm more of like, huh, hey, someone's coming around the corner, I'm going to jump out and

go, ah. That's a really good prank. That's about as far as it goes. Is it a prank? Yeah, I guess that's a gag. That's like a JFL gag. That's a JFL gag. Oh, man. That's a gag. That's a gag. That's a JFL gag. That's a JFL gag. Oh man, if people in the States don't know,

there's this series of, it's a French prank. You know, people know this. Well, just in case they don't. Oh, you're describing JFL gags. Yeah, it's also a thing we've talked about a hundred times. Okay, do it. It's, I feel like it's language-free. It's language-free, but they're so elaborate.

And I love how elaborate the pranks are. And they're like, no, they're not anybody gets wet or anything like that. Like it's all just like, please hold this. I gotta go. Yeah, please hold this. And then while they, you know, can you please hold this gun for the policeman

while he goes to the bathroom? There was one. And then there's a robbery in front of you and you have to shoot again. You have to decide who's the the bathroom. There was one. And then there's a robbery in front of you and you have to shoot again. You have to decide who's the real killer, there's twins. You know what would be a good one? Is if somebody was standing on the street and a runner, like a sprinter ran by them

and gave them a baton, that would be a fun little like, would they run, would they just stand there, would they freak out? Yeah. We should pitch JFL gags some- Some funny gags? Some of our pranks. No, you should think bigger and have your own show.

No. Why? Think smaller. No, but you know what? I heard one time that JFL gags, like as a show, make so much money because there's no language involved. Yeah.

They can play it in any country. I remember seeing it on, I was taking a flight in Columbia and it was to the Inflate Entertainment. And it's one of these shows that it's always been a hilarious concept to me that it's not filmed in front of a live audience, but it has a laugh track.

Oh, what a laugh track. Now, when Julie arrived, she brought us, she had a big green juice Now, when Julie arrived, she brought us, she had a big green juice and she brought us both little shots of juice. And this is from a place called the juice truck. No, we're not naming, we're not giving them free advertisement. It was a truck and now it's a store.

Okay, was it? I don't know the, all right. And so she brought us these little shots. Mine is a, well, like Graham looked at both of them and I gave him first pick because he's allergic to things. So what's in yours? Mine is turmeric, orange and black pepper. Turmeric or turmeric?

Yeah, turmeric, I guess. But people pronounce it without the R. Yeah, don't you say turmeric? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. This is day of pranking you. I've always said turmeric and then like, Do people pronounce it without the R? Yeah, don't you say turmeric? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, is- This is Dave pranking you. I've always said turmeric, and then like,

it's like February. Yeah. February. Dave's pranking me. This is a prank. I've been, yeah, I've been secretly adding R's to all the turmeric. All right. And mine is a wellness shot that is lemon, ginger,

and cayenne. Is this what Beyonce was drinking before Dreamgirls? Graham doing a shot. Oh, it's very nice. It's like- Really? Yeah, it's kind of like, it's like a soup. What?

No, that's not what I was gonna- It doesn't taste like a juice. It tastes like a soup. I took mine out and it does, it's dog food. I just opened mine up and it's- What was yours again? Turmeric? Turmeric? Turmeric.

Ha! Orange and black pepper. Orange and black pepper, weird. Okay. Go for it. Okay, time for my wellness. Shot, shot. I don't think you actually have to drink it like a shot.

Ah, yeah. I know that was harsh, right? The cayenne. The cayenne. That's why I couldn't do cayenne. Are you allergic to cayenne? No, just real Irish palate, real like. Oh, plain?

Yeah, plain. Plain or something? Yeah, I can't do it. Well, I feel well now. Yeah, I feel pretty well. I'm so glad. Thank you for that. Oh, you're welcome.

Yeah. Do you drink shots of like. Of juice? Of no, I don't drink alcohol as a shot. I never really did. Julie knows every time I'm at the bar, shots for everyone, right? Yeah, that's right.

Every time open bar on Graham. Yeah, that's right. I want everybody to do- It has to be vegetarian. It has to be vegetarian. And I prefer that you do like a shot that has a fun name as opposed to just like a whiskey shot or- Oh yeah.

I do side a drink. A whiskey drink. Side a drink, a lager drink and the other one. A little, I mean, is a shot about the size of the alcohol or how much there is? Because when people drink whiskey, it's just one shot. They'll have it neat or with ice, but they never call it a shot because they sip it.

They sip it, yeah. And I've always thought like, if you're gonna, yeah, to just get an irregular-sized glass and sip it that way as opposed to getting a shot glass and sipping it. I feel like I missed out on that because I never... Hey, let's hit the bar! Okay!

Let's go down the bullward! I feel like I did like a tequila shot a couple times in my life. I like the ceremony of having like, okay, you lick the salt and then you do the shot and then you bite the thing. Clear your job. But that's all I think I've done. Oh, you know what? Remember when we were doing the live show in Calgary and people kept sending up Jaeger bombs.

Not bombs, just shots. Yeah, that's right. And you drank them? Yeah. I bet we were like, why are you sending these things? Has anybody ever sent a shot up to you during a show? I don't think so. Not your energy?

No, I'm not usually drinking on stage either. Yeah. I don't drink before. I think when I first started comedy, I used to do cigarettes. I used to do cigarettes. Okay, you used to do cigarettes. And drink a little at the bar,

but that was mostly to fit in. Does anyone ever send cigarettes up on stage? No. That's so funny. Oh, that'd be so cool. No, I've been heckled a lot, so I guess. No, that's it. But no, no, nobody's ever sent me something.

But this raises something interesting because you'll have a lot of male comics talk about how they get chicks amusing their language after shows. See, you're speaking my language. Puritans do Yeah, yeah. Curets and Stu, chicks, yeah. Women like a guy who's funny, and a lot of female comics, and I have noticed that we don't think it's quite the same the other way.

The guys don't like women that are funny? If I go on stage and I'm killing, and a guy won't be like, oh, I really wanna date her, I think he'd be more like, well, I also, I'm quite kind of aggressive on stage too, so I don't think anybody looks at that and thinks, oh, I wanna, I want more of that in my personal life. When my wife is being funny, it's a big turn off.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm glad, I don't want just someone who watched my show wanting to date me or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm glad, I'm glad. I don't want, I don't want just someone who watched my show wanting to date me or whatever. Yeah, right.

But when you were, I imagine the first like, at least decade of you doing standup, you were probably on mostly shows with mostly men. Oh my gosh, so much. Yeah. I mean, you can't avoid a man with, on a show. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah.

Mostly men when they're showcase shows and stuff. Yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. Mostly men when they're showcase shows and stuff. Absolutely. There were some times where I would be like the only woman or sometimes I remember once being booked on a show and they're like, no, no, we have enough women. We had, they had two women on the show out of like 10 people.

We have enough, we have enough women. So yeah, it's been mostly, sure, mostly men, but Vancouver's changed a lot. Vancouver comedy's changed. The people running the shows, much more diverse, and there's a lot of wonderful overall diversity in the shows that I'm seeing. Was it Jamie Foxx when he started out?

Like when you went and started doing comedy in LA, I guess, there would be like 50 people would just put their names on the list and there would be like all men. And so Jamie Foxx isn't his real name. And he put Jamie Foxx there, cause he's like, well, they don't know who's putting their name down. They just see the name and they're like,

that might be a woman. We need a woman on the show. Yeah, I remember that story. Wow. Yeah. Jeez, why didn't I do that? Ah, I should have called myself Dolores. Is there a female version of the name Graham? I don't think so.

No, maybe Grace would be? No, no, no. It's just the first two letters. Yeah, no. Grace is the female version of Grey. Like I would say, for Dave, there's at least Davina. There is at least Davina, but I've yet to meet one. Oh, I know a Davina.

Oh yeah? I think I've met two. Give me her number. Well, they're Scottish. I think Davina's are Scottish. Give her my digit. For what? What are you gonna do?

Yeah. I don't know. Once you have these digits, what do you plan to do with them? Hey, Davina, it's Dave. Let's get breakfast. Dabled eggs. Just kidding. That was stupid.

That was great. Oh, come on. Yeah, I don't know that most names do. Like there's certainly like, you know, I can't think of any right now, but like. Like Stefania and Stephen. Or Stephanie and Stephen. So you'd be Julian. Julian. Yeah, you know, Christopher, Christine. Julie and Julian? Yeah, Christopher, Christine. But then there's, you know. Pat and Christine of Barcelona. Patrick, Patricia, Michael, Michelle, damn it.

There's a lot. But there is a lot, but there are so many that there aren't. Aaron, Aaron, oh God. This is its own podcast. I know, but now I I want to think of. Okay. As long as you want Dave.

Like Leon. And? Leona. Leona, damn it. Okay. Okay, Leon's okay, the brick. Okay, my wife is Abigail. Abraham? No, there are men named Abby.

There are. Come on, come on. Oh no, you're right, Abby Hoffman. Yes, yes, and there's a guy from- Lil Abner. Abby Roberge is also a comedian. No. Abby Roberge, that's a good name. He's a dude, yeah, he's a person. No, no, no, but that doesn't count. That's not like Michael and Michelle.

Okay. Those are like- Abraham and Abby, yeah, I don't know. No, I don't know. I don't know. You know, Abby, anyway. I wonder if this is the point where people turn off the phone. Yeah are like. Abraham and Abby, yeah, I don't know. No, I don't know. I don't know. Abraham and Abby, anyway. I wonder if this is the point where people turn off the fire. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, they've been gone for ages. People, they're going, they're sadly eating their dog food flavored beef stew. They bedrubbed my stew. I wonder if you could make a castrol out of the stew. Could you imagine? Do you start with the stew and then build on it? That's the base? You could put mashed potatoes on top,

of course, canned mashed potatoes. You can make a steak, like a steak soup dump. Yeah. Or like a cottage pie, shepherd's pie kind of feel. That's okay. That's all right. A bake. That seems like a top chef challenge of like,

we gave you a bunch of- That sounds like bottom chef. Well, no, but like, they give you the bad stuff and you have to make it, you have to elevate. Oh, they do that., but like, they give you the bad stuff and you have to make it, you have to elevate. Oh, they do that. To the reverse, they give you the good stuff and you have to de-elevate it. Yeah, or they give you a male name

and you have to make a female. But I've heard that doesn't work. Catherine and Carl, no, that's not. Could you imagine a whole reality show just like thinking of these names? That's the reality show. Hosted by Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey. Oh, God, if you get Nick Lachey, oh man.

It's called Love is Dumb. It's just the stupidest idea. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Me? You. Oh my God. So this past weekend, I did something I haven't done in, hoo, ha, 15 years maybe.

What's that? I went snowboarding. You did, how was it? Where did you go? Dave, that's extreme. It was gnarly, dude. I totally chopped up the powder. I guess that means cocaine.

Did you, what are some of the snowboarding terms? Did you do a Wally? I did a Wally. Oh, okay, yeah Did you do a WALL-E? I did a WALL-E! Oh, okay. You did a Big Mac switch-up? I did a Big Mac switch-up and a triple-wow-ee. Triple-wow-ees, yeah. I did a WALL-E.

Did you do... That's when you snowboarded with a little robot? Yeah, yeah. And then did you do daffy? Daffy foot? Regular foot? I did goofy and regular. Goofy, yeah. nice. What did you wear? While like well, here's the thing is I My daughter's school did a month of snowboarding or like skiing and snowboarding Oh local mountain they just for PE for the month of February. They all went like once a week. Yeah once a week. Oh and

We've never taken the kids. They'd never really wanted to do it. Well, it's a whole lifestyle if you take your kids, right? It is a whole life. They'll take your weekend up. And your money. Yeah, it's incredibly, it's expensive just to visit the mountains, let alone. Oh my God, in Whistler, those prices are not meant for normal people.

What is it? It's like 200 for a day? Or am I way low on that? I think they're, I don't know about the passes, but anytime we go to stay, like at Christmas rooms were like $700 a night. Jesus. So I just save all my points. You just need to know. I'm saying this so nobody in your audience thinks that I have a lot of money.

I use all my points and I slept in my car, But for other people, that's how expensive it is. But also like when we send our kids to Whistler, sorry, my kid to Whistler, it feels like multiple kids because it's so expensive. We do the lessons for a day on the mountain and sure they feed them lunch or whatever, but it's still like $400. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, the local mountains it's cheaper, but it's still like, for me for one day, I think it was 150. But yeah, like I think in Whistler, it's for a day pass, it's like 300 now. But I think if you get a season's pass, it's like a thousand. And if think if you get a season's pass, it's like a thousand and you,

if you go regularly, it's worth it. But there used to be deals like, people used to, when I was in college, people would go, or I guess after college, no one would go from Victoria to Whistler. But there would be like, you know, you go to 7-Eleven and they have a deal on a Lyft pass if you go the day of or something.

There are all these like loopholes. What I have to like drink Mountain Dew. You have to do, well of course you wanna drink Mountain Dew cause it's extreme. It is extreme and I've had different extreme things. Isn't that the drink that ruins your semen? No. Tell me more about this.

Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't, makes my semen actually a little bit stronger. I didn't mean yours in particular but. And then my semen actually can now eat through metal. No, this was, wait, I'm looking this one up. Mountain Dew semen. Oh, here we go. I hope my search history.

Mountain Dew semen. Well, okay, AI says, and I'm not looking up AI on purpose. It's not like the first Google response. The popular misconception that Mountain Dew kills sperm is a myth. Oh, thank God for you. There is no evidence to support this claim. And the caffeine in Yellow Dye 5, which actually sounds toxic,

anything called like Red Dye X or whatever, in the drink are not present in high enough quantities to harm sperm. Oh, thank God. But I bet you though, listen, if you're drinking nothing but Mountain Dew, you might have to worry about putting that sperm out there at all.

The Mountain Dew has got to compete with the microplastics in my testicles. And it might try to compete. Like you know what I mean? Like I picture the microplastics actually as like little angry things that are actively causing harm. Well, I just think of them as in the way. In the way? Yeah, like they're just sitting around of synapses

or blood flow. You think they're like actually physically blocking. Yeah, well they're not. I think they're kind of rattling around. Well, you think they're angry little guys. Yeah. That's right. I do think they identify as male

and I do think that they are out there to do harm maliciously. Sounds right. Anyway, so I went snowboarding. My daughter, so her, she went for a whole month, once a week, and then she was like, I'd like to go again. And then it didn't happen in March and then April. Well, it's, it's, that's the end of the season. So I was like, okay, we gotta go this weekend.

And we went, just the two of us, I used to snowboard. I still had my- And you lost your medal because of Smokey Pot. You and Ross were begliatti, was that? You smoked him up the day of his big competition. Yeah, he blamed me for losing his medal. Is he a Hawaiian hotboxed in the hotel? Oh yeah.

Yeah. Part of our heritage. Is that still the most famous snowboarding thing? No, the guy with red hair, whatever his name is. Sean White? Sean White. Wait, what was, oh, the doping? Yeah, it was the, he got his medal taken away

because he had THC in his system. Yeah, Ross Rebliati was. I didn't knowC. Yeah, Ross Rebleyaddy was. How did they know that? Yeah, but they gave it back to him. Well, they have a park named for Ross in Whistler. Yeah, yeah. He was like, he was a big deal and then he got taken away. It was a big scandal.

But not before they named a park after him. Exactly, the same day they took away the medal and they said, but you get a park. I might rather have a park. Me too. Right, because then everybody knows about the park. What would be the like- It's on Google Maps.

Yeah, yeah. Like if you had your ideal thing that would be named after you, would it be a park, building, a type of transportation, a slang of some sort? Oh, sure. Yeah. Oh, I got Julie Kim to last night. Yeah, yeah. Oh, gross.

It just sounds gross. I honestly have thought about this a little bit and I thought the most sort of respectable thing to have your name on is like a wing of a hospital because it shows that you, well, normally that you donated it to it. So you're a good person. And that you had a lot of money to throw around. That too. Maybe from killing people. I was the best assassin, I took that money and I donated to Hospital Wing

to save other people's lives. Did comedian John Wing have a joke about that, about having a part of a hospital named after him? The John Wing Wing? Yeah, I know he had a joke that was, my last name is Chinese, it means the arm of a bird. Nice. That's really funny.

Those are good lines that John way. Yeah, anyway, so. I had to live with him for two weeks. Why? Because I was house sitting and the place he was staying at was the place I was house sitting. So we ended up.

Wait, why would you need to house sit somewhere where somebody's already staying? Well, I was there all the time. And it was like, this had already been prearranged. So, oh, he's gonna stay with you. Am I even in the room? Are you allowed to say how that was? It was fine.

Okay. And that is the right thing to say when someone asks you on a podcast. You say I had to spend two weeks. I mean, you know, we didn't plan it together. Anyway, so snowboarding. Yes. Let me tell you, I used to be quite,

I wasn't very good at it, but it's not hard to do. I was never like extreme. You're a little extreme. I was extreme. I had a Mohawk, I had long hearing. Yeah, I tried a dangling. How long, what, what, what? My whole life.

Really? I want pictures, can you Google that too? Yeah, I mean, it might have to be. Just looks like Richard Kind. Just a big picture of Richard Kind. With earrings. Yeah, so we went, I don't have, my snowboard is probably at my parents' garage or something.

I didn't bother looking for it. I was like, let's, she had to rent gear. I had to rent her a gear. I said, I'll rent my own gear. Back when I was doing it, no one wore helmets. Now, helmets, everyone wears helmets. Snowboarding, nobody wore helmets? No, there was no such thing.

What? Same with skiing. There were concussions. Oh yeah, and deaths for sure. That's just when people got concussed. Snowboarding, nobody wore helmets? No, there was no such thing. What? Same with skiing. There were concussions. Oh yeah. Back then. That's just when people got concussed. Anyway, so we went, rented our gear. I still have my old snowboarding pants and jacket.

Still fit? Burton? West Beach. West Beach. Doesn't exist anymore. Vintage. Yeah, that's the Lululemon guy, right? I think it's Chip Wilson.

Yeah. Oh, what? Yeah, that's how he started. I had no idea. You know everything about Vancouver. Chip Wilson? Well, I've heard your Chip Wilson jokes. I kid, I kid.

We're good friends. Well, Graham had to house set a place with him for two weeks. You are never going to get a podcast sponsor out of Lululemon. Lululemon? We'll be fine. I'm more of a West Beach. Anyway, so we went and guys, I still got it. Yeah?

Nice. I'm swishing, I'm swashing. Did you do jumps? No, because I never did back then. Oh, okay. My brothers both snowboard and they do crazy jumps. Well, they need a helmet. And they did like half pipe. They did half pipe. Do you ever do half pipe? No. Just straight down the hill? I did full pipe. I was totally wasted, dude.

That's called a tunnel. Yeah. I did, no, yeah. Well, my daughter had only snowboarded four times. Was she able to stay up and go down the whole hill? Yeah. Okay. I mean, she also fell down, but she stayed up and she fell down. She got back up. She's chumbo wumba. Then I had a whiskey drink and a lager drink.

On the hill, Dave. Oh my God, the poutine at the restaurant there, the worst I've ever had in my life. Really? And it was like 15 bucks, I bet. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

It was so smoke flavored. Like they were like, oh, season's almost over. Also, like this was the second last weekend of ski season. So the cafeteria, you could tell they were like, well, let's not order any more drinks. Yeah. So all we have left is Whatever Pepsi zero and so

And we know what we got to use up all this liquid smoke pour it in the gravy Yeah, when I was a kid and we go skig the fries you wanted ski hill. Yes Yeah, I wanted a burger too. But yeah, yeah. yeah, but I just remember they've become a little like cardboard, not bowl, you know what I'm talking about? A tray, a little tray. And were you a gravy person? Oh yeah. I am a gravy person.

You still are. May I tell you something? I have had the best, I think it's a vegan gravy. It's actually my favorite gravy and it happens to be vegan at Meat. Oh yes, yeah. Have you had it? It vegan gravy. It's actually my favorite gravy and it happens to be vegan at Meat. Oh yes, yeah. Have you had it? It's amazing.

I've thought about buying it and just keeping it at home. Do it. For whatever fries that I have. It's so delicious. Do it, do it, gravy dump. Gravy dump, just gravy, but it's just gravy. It's a soup, it's a soup. Oh, just as you ladle it like, oh, it's so nice.

I'll make a shot. Gravy shots. Oh, we're gonna make a lot of money. But we went, it was like 15 degrees out. It was, I mean, it said it was four degrees according to the mountain, but when I got back in my car, it said it was 15 degrees. Lying mountain.

I know, right? And it was like- Japanese? I was- Just kidding. Yeah. Yeah, me too. But I was sweating so much, like I am right now.

But so, and there were people, because I guess spring skiing is so warm, there are people in t-shirts, there was a guy in just jeans and a t-shirt. Yeah, I was gonna ask, was there any dudes up there with jeans? Have you seen Chelsea Handler's been to Whistler in a bikini?

Yeah. She's gone like skiing in a bikini? Yeah, yeah. It always makes the news. Oh, Chelsea Handler has been to Vancouver,ler in a bikini. Yeah. She's gone like skiing in a bikini. Yeah. It always makes the news. Oh, Chelsea Handler has been to Vancouver, came to Vancouver again. Well, she, I heard she has a place in Whistler. Yeah. Well, if you wiped out, so harsh. Oh yeah. You wiped out in a bikini. Oh, sure. I thought you meant in front of Chelsea Handler. She'd roast you. Yeah, she would. She'd roast you. Whoever has to go up the chairlift with her, oh boy, they're going to be so sad by the

time they get to the top. Did you hurt yourself skiing? No, my ribs hurt from riding the chairlift with Chelsea Handler. Also chairlifts have changed a lot since I was on. There's now like a moving carpet you get on as the chairlift comes behind you. Oh, that's a lot of different movements to coordinate. And you were okay. Cause my most embarrassing moments at the ski hill

when I used to ski or snowboard was getting off the chairlift. It's so menacing to me. Like I just, as we're approaching it, I'm like, oh my God, just don't fuck this up, don't fuck this up. And I always do. It is like a bunch of movements that you have to kind of coordinate

that are kind of, you know, you can get in your head about like, okay, I got a- Yes. The safety bar, I have to move that up, but not too soon. Yeah. And then I have to like make sure my hips are like the square to the mountain. I wouldn't do it now because the flimsiness

of a chairlift is, as a kid you don't think about dying as much. Sure, and you're smaller, so relatively it's secure. And you're like, everyone else has signed up on this. Yeah, but it's insane. In any other context, if you're like, go to the top of this building site on this rickety, you'd be like, nope. Skiing is something I see very, very old people do, which makes me think like it could be a fun thing

to take up and possibly do for like the rest of your life that you can walk for. I'm thinking about it. You know what I have, so when I go skiing and snowboarding with my husband and daughter, it's usually they go and then I get the whole day to like work or do work together, which is my happy place anyways. And then we get to eat or whatever.

But they keep asking me now if I'll start. But my excuse has been like, I work in entertainment. I have to travel. It takes a lot of work to like travel and move all your stuff. Oh yeah. And then also like, you know, I've been asked to do like more acting roles and stuff.

And it's like, I cannot be hurt for these things. So I feel in a way like I'm missing out, I'm having fun. Like your day with your daughter sounds so fun. Oh, I never, I mean, my dad once tore his ACL skiing, but other than that, like the idea of getting hurt, I don't know how you like, when he hurt himself, it was like a freak thing, but like, you're not going to like, you're not, you picture like a cartoon full body cast after you saw him.

But I don't know, like most, I think most skiing is very safe. No, I agree. I'm just being paranoid and I don't want to go. I think if you're, yeah, I mean, I've known people who've fucked themselves up pretty bad skiing, but it's- With young people? Nope. Oh, really?

Yeah. Yeah, it's really easy to fuck up your knees. Just a chairlift. Oh, okay. It's a pretty high impact. Or if you fall the wrong way, or if someone runs into you. Do you remember the Gwyneth Paltrow ski thing you were? I was just thinking of Gwyneth Paltrow, yeah.

What was it? She ran into an old man or an old man ran into her? Old man ran into her. Old man ran into her. Gwyneth Rock landed on us. Uh- ran into her. Old man ran into her. Look, it's rock landed on us. And then he sued her. And then she sued him for $1. Yes.

And she wore those glasses. And did she bring snacks for the jury or something? She was very unbothered. And when they were talking about how this had impacted her, she's like, well, I lost a day of skiing. Very matter of factly. And I have to say, she's like, well, I lost a day of skiing. Like, very matter of factly. And I have to say, that's a vibe. Like, I think a lot of people are buying into this whole unbothered email kind of thing. Yeah, I lost a day of skiing. She's not even afraid to sound

precious about it or detached. This is just who she is. – And apparently, like, her, like, testimony was like, she was so, like, the court was just like, and? And what else? court was just like, and? Really, really, really? What else? She handed the jury all the vagina candles. Your honor, I'd like to pass out the vagina candles if I may. I object.

Time for goop. Ottawa Grounds. Yeah. I'd like to hand out my goop now. But yeah, so I recommend, well, here's the thing, it's so expensive. It's so expensive. What, what is scoop? Oh, skiing. No, skiing. Yeah, it is, it is prohibitively expensive.

I, that's another reason I was like, glad we did it the second last weekend of the year, because I'm like, well, we're not gonna like make a habit of going. Yeah, yeah, if you really enjoyed it, maybe next year. Yeah. That's smart. That's doing it at the end, yeah. But I think if we got like a season's pass

to one of the local mountains, that's like just a few hundred for the year. Yeah. Yeah, but then you gotta drive out there, you gotta- That's the worst part sometimes. That is the worst part sometimes, getting there. Carry your gear.

Yep, doing stuff. Yeah. Wait, how far are we going with this? Getting out of bed. Although this weekend. Eating, you have to feel your body. If you go down to, up to Cyprus this weekend, they have, it's the like, what do they call it?

The slush cup. Uh-oh. And it's the, like, people ride down in costumes and then, you know, you ski down to the bottom of the mountain and then there's a big pool that you ski across. Oh, fun. And you see how far you can go.

A pool? Well, it's like they just filled a vat of water at the bottom of the run. Yeah, you just splash run. I would die immediately. Yeah, me too. Yeah. And that's the way I wanna go.

Yeah, most of them die. Next year. It's like a big cult suicide thing. They all do. Oh. But they have to sign a waiver, obviously. Yeah, you sign a waiver, but then you wear like a little tutu and you wear like a big banana costume. Yeah, you sign a waiver, but then you wear like a little tutu

or like a big banana costume. Yeah, you dress like that in the hat. You wear the outfit you wanna be buried in because don't cause trouble for other people, you know? That's right. I mean, I wear it every day. This is it? This is it?

Casual. That's so Steve Jobs, you wear this every day? That's very Steve, oh, you mean the act of wearing the same thing every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait a second, Graham, oh, you mean the act of wearing the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But wait a second, Graham, look, couldn't Dave pass as Steve Jobs in a biopic? A little bit, a little bit.

Well, you know what? There hasn't been a Steve Jobs biopic in a few months. And Dave's got too nice of hair, because Steve Jobs is, he's almost bald. They can work with that. Yeah, they can fix that. No, they can just shave it. I guess you could put a green screen cap on it.

They can take their hair off. Okay. All right. Well, I mean, I guess I could kind of start working on my Steve Jobs impression. Yeah. It's called the iPad. They're calling it the iPad. That's good.

And then you have to abandon your daughter. Yeah. You get out of here. And then my father is working in a Lebanese restaurant and I don't know who he is or something. What, that is a thing? Wasn't there a thing of like, he was like abandoned by his father

and he didn't realize the rest of his life that his father like worked at the restaurant. I'm getting this all wrong. I just let me, I can't Google. Are you just hungry for Lebanese food? Oh, I sure could. I sure am. Get me a. I just let me, I can't Google. Are you just hungry for Lebanese food? Oh, I sure could. I sure am. Get me a.

You should sure go for it. I love it. I love Lebanese food. I'm now hungry. Okay, well we're all hungry. It's the garlic sauce. It's the garlic sauce for me. Yeah.

I don't know that I know Lebanese food all that well. Really? You could get a falafel. Yeah. You've heard of a falafel, Dave and I have. I've heard of a falafel. Yeah, I get that garlic sauce you've been talking about. The garlic sauce is so good.

She's a sauce person. She wants to buy gravy. Oh yeah. How did you know that? Oh yeah, I love mayonnaise. How did you know that? Let me tell you something. I love mayonnaise so much. Like mayonnaise, a tablespoon of mayonnaise

is like basically all fat and it's a hundred calories. But I'll have like two tablespoons of mayonnaise a day. And basically is the reason I do my physical activity and working out. It just wipes out the mayonnaise. I could choose not to eat mayonnaise but I can't. I'm picturing you eating two tablespoons of mayonnaise on their own. No, no, just like hidden in things like a dump or a sandwich. Oh yeah, well there's.

Do you like French food? That's all sauce. Not really. We went to Paris a few years ago. We. Do you like, have you ever had, do you like French food? That's all sauce. Not really. We went to Paris a few years ago. We were not that impressed with the food. What are your top five sauces? Oh, okay. Like you mean condiment sauce or like food in it?

Just any food sauce. I love a Bolognese, an amazing Bolognese. I love a mayo or any mayo based food like mayo, aioli or that thing they put on Mexican corn sometimes. or any mayo based food like mayo, aioli, or that thing they put on Mexican corn sometimes. Like that kind of like limey, cilantro-y mayo. Yeah, yes. Yeah, I love that. I love a, just cause you asked, like I'm gonna continue.

Yeah, of course, yeah, we're on the whole list. I love a really good savory hot sauce, like a chili sauce. There's a Japanese company in Vancouver. They're basically chili oil, but it's like as umami as it is spicy. I love that. You can just put that on rice and an egg. It's amazing.

I love, I love a mixture of a gravy, like I told you, but only that one that I mentioned. I love a mixture of hot sauce, Frank's hot sauce, and ketchup when I dip a fry. I do that. You do? Yeah, I'll just fry it together. Or a half-brown.

I like mixing it with the fry. Yes, yes, yes. I'll do a Cholula and ketchup. Have you had Valentinas? Yeah. Also really good. It's like velvety tasting. Yeah, there's not really a, uh...

What's the chicken one? The one that has the chicken on the side? Chicken... Chicken... Red, green, top... Uh, what the hell is it called? Sriracha? Sriracha. Oh, yeah, the rooster. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, Graham, your five... My five sauces. Okay. I like... Let's do it. I like a classic soy sauce. Mm-hmm. Oh. I like, Let's do it. I like a classic soy sauce. Oh. I like a gravy.

I do very much like a mayo or any of its derivatives. I love like an egg salad. I like anything like that. I gotta say that I love chocolate sauce. We've been ignoring some of the best sauces around. Now when you say chocolate sauce, you mean? Chocolate. You mean like, you mean? Chocolate. You mean like on a Sunday?

Yeah. You're not talking about mole? No, I'm not talking about mole. Well, you must love a lava cake then. Yeah, in my time, I don't eat wheat anymore. What was your time? Oh, we know that. My whole life until two years ago.

Yeah. Oh. But yes, Dave's king of the lava cake. You are? I mean, the Domino's lava cake. He says it's as good as any. Yeah, President's Choice makes one too. Oh yeah?

It's quite good. You put it in your freezer and you have people over and then you pull it out of the oven as if you made it. Nice. I'm screwed. I have done that. I think it was a big commercial convention of people pretending they made food. Delicio done that. It was a big commercial convention of people pretending they made food.

Delicio started that. Well, that was, you pretended, no, Delicio was like, you're just trying to convince people you didn't have it delivered. Oh yeah, yeah, he said, yeah. But is that worse? I would rather people thought I delivered pizza

than bought a cheap frozen pizza and put it in the oven. It's not delivery. It's like, well, I like delivery. Yeah, yeah. And put it in the oven. It's not delivery. It's like, well, I like delivery. Yeah, and delivery from where? It's kind of like when people say, my husband says this all the time, when something's handmade. Yeah, by who?

Yeah, whose hands? I mean, someone who knows what they're doing or just like a five-year-old's grubby hand, handmade you. Well, also, like it's such a generic thing that people at the party are like, oh, the delivery is here. I love delivery, Pete's is here. I love delivery. Yeah. But I do though.

I do love a delivery. And there's a difference between a pizza pizza, which followed me from Ontario, by the way. It's not even that great. Or like, you know, they have some really good expensive artists and pizzas in town, which is way better than most frozen pizzas. What are people talking about? Those frozen pizzas are pretty good. The Red Baron. Which one? better than most frozen pizzas. Yeah. What are people talking about? Those frozen pizzas are pretty good. The Red Baron.

Which one? Do you get the Red Baron? No. There are some really good ones too. I'm like, no one's arguing with you that these artisan pizzas are better than frozen pizzas. Can I tell you though, the frozen gluten-free pizza that you can get at Costco?

Fantastic. Oh yeah? Is it better than most restaurants would have? Is it one they make there and they package up? I don't think so, no, but it's amazing and it's better than most restaurants. So in university, there was this girl who would buy the cheapest little round frozen pizzas,

but then she would chop up her own vegetables and put them on top. And I thought, hey, that's something I wanna take with me. You know what I mean? Like you just fill it up with like mushrooms and green peppers or additional meats because they definitely don't put enough meats on there. Yeah.

Huh, this friend of yours is on something. Pretty smart, she's a doctor now. Of course, of course. Family medicine? Probably still does that. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I can't get it. How did you know?

I don't know, I just had a good feeling about it. Do the two of you have family doctors? Yep. You do, you? Yeah, why? Well, because a lot of I don't know, I just had a good feeling about it. Do the two of you have family doctors? Yep. You do, you? Yeah, oh why? Well, because a lot of people don't have access to a family doctor. I know, I know, but like.

What? What is this show called? Because we're talking about family. What are we talking about? Oh, did we have an agenda? I didn't realize when we were talking about everyone's top five favorite sauces. Graham, do we get through all five?

I think so. Did you mention yours? I don't like sauce, I want my food dry. Dave likes a compote. Yeah. Oh, compotes are good. Compotes are good. What's going on with you, Graham?

Well, this past week- And also, do you have a family doctor? I do. Shout out, you know who you are. I, speaking of standing in line this weekend, I went and voted. Oh yeah. Oh my God, what a line.

It's, so this is crazy. Like the whole, my whole voting life, every time I vote, I vote in every election. You're in and out in five minutes. I walk in, I show my license, they give me the thing, I put it in, they put in the scan, I'm out, here's the sticker, away you go. Is it cause you go early?

Nope, just because like it's easy and- Yeah, it's always, I've never witnessed anything like this past weekend. So like, yeah, usually it's no wait at all, and if it is a wait, it's like three or four minutes. I got to the voting polling place and it was like a block long of people waiting. I couldn't believe it.

And so luckily it was like the weather was okay. And you thought you were like, am I in the right place? Are people lined up for tickets to the traveling Wilburys or something? And I said that to everybody as I walked out of the line. This is your big line up. What is this? Is that a real band? Yeah, it's a real band.

No, it's not. It is, the traveling Wilburys. Oh no, my apologies to the band. No, it's not. It is, Traveling Wilburys. Oh no, my apologies to the Traveling Wilburys. That's okay. I mean, they're mostly dead now. What? Oh, then. Maybe they're half dead.

I'm looking it up. It's a super group. Yeah. With Tom Petty, Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Steve, no, Jeff Lin. Jeff Lin. And Roy Orbison. Bob Dylan.

Yeah. I didn't even know. What? I didn't know that. I knew of some of those people as individuals. Oh, you did? But they... At least.

Yeah, Dave. Did you see like a complete unknown? A complete unknown? I'd watch a documentary about the Wilbur. I would watch. Honestly, I think I had an idea that would be just was like a screenwriting exercise about the Wilbur. I would watch. Honestly, I think I had an idea that would be just was like a screenwriting exercise

of like having all five traveling Wilburys but make it the time traveling Wilburys. It's like a- This is a show. Yeah. Just making it like a, you know, obviously you'd never get the rights to their life rights. But it was like-

Unless they're all dead and they didn't have good lawyers. Unless they're all, they've all been dead for a hundred years. Yeah, Steve-Bo and Willie. There's hope. There's hope. Yeah. So I voted. I went in line, I voted, I waited for half an hour,

which apparently was a short- That's low. That was a short wait compared to everybody else's. So it was like, why is this such a big thing? Turns out the half or more than half of the budget for polling staff had been slashed. So that where there used to be like a hundred people working, there was no 20. Did Ken Sim do that?

I might have. Interesting. Yeah, isn't it? Now, was it just because it was a by-election? Well, yeah. And I think it was because the City Hall was really pushing for people to do advanced I didn't even hear about it a week before Yeah, it's I mean it's like the turnout was great. It was it was great

There were a lot of people that really got to know the person's dog behind me in line The dog was good entertainment the dog vote the? The dog did vote, he came out with a voting sticker. Although yeah, I did that day see a lot of dogs. You got a dog, you had a sticker that said I voted and he had one that said Ry Rodin. Ry Rodin, that's right. Oh my God. And, who was it?

Somebody showed up that night with a sticker that said, it had, oh it was Kyle Fiennes, had a sticker that said, it had, oh, it was Kyle Fiennes, had a sticker that said future voter and it had a seal on it. So I guess they give that to kids, but they were all out of regular voters. Oh, okay. Wow.

I was like, you get to be a future voter. So people really care right now. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. But it's like, it's the longest I've had to wait to do anything. There were, yeah, two hour lines as well. Yeah. Did you, were you got caught in the line?

No, I didn't vote. Dave! This is my first time not voting because I was just like, it couldn't get done. Yikes, yikes. Democracy. I didn't hear about it till like close to the date. Yeah.

Well, if you're, everybody, if you're still in line there, stay in line, the polls are gonna be open. And I was devastated when I saw the results. I wanted a pro-police agenda. Give them more money, give them bigger boots. Oh man. But yeah, it turned into like, you know when you're standing in a long line,

this kind of like little community starts to form. Yeah. And there was a lady that was there, save the CBC, she was getting signatures. Oh, I guess it's a good opportunity to get people's attention. Yeah, the woman in front of us had some funky flu fog shoes. We got to talk about flu bugs for a bit. Man, it was, it turned out pretty good.

The, yeah, the, the, the, what the hell was I gonna say? I don't know. I was just looking for a chance. I just wanted to miss my own voice. I think of that line as a great opportunity to sell things. I would get my daughter to like sell her crafts with people waiting online. It'd be great time.

People would be like, oh these are handmade. Yeah, or yeah, handmade. The girl guides were there and they're making it killing. Good, good, good. Absolutely. Smart. Those girl guides, they throw what they do. Cookies are up from $5 a box to $6. I good, good. Absolutely. Smart. Those girl guides, they throw it in the- Cookies are up from $5 a box to $6.

I know, six. Really? So my daughter was in Girl Guides previously, and it's a lot of pressure to sell those cookies, by the way. They don't just ask, like, do you wanna sell cookies? Like, and how many do you think you can sell? They give you a minimum number-

They give you two boxes. No, no, cases. Two cases. Of cookies, and this is do you think you can sell? They give you a minimum number of boxes, no, no, cases. Two cases. Of cookies, and this is what you sell. If you tell them way in advance, like, sorry, we can't push these, then they might take it back and have some superstar future entrepreneur

who's selling like 18 cases back. It's really just like, do you work in an office? Yes. Because if you work in an office, you can sell to the people in your office. Or a show, I've sold some at shows and some local comics I've supported. Yes. Because if you work in an office, you can sell to the people in your office. Or a show, I've sold some at shows and some local comics I've supported, but they'll only do that so much.

Yeah, oh yeah. I knew this local comic who used to support me and my daughter's grill guy cookies, and then he decided he didn't like gluten anymore. Oh man, those people suck so much. And sometimes they don't eat fish or cayenne. Yeah. Sometimes they won't even do a cayenne shot with your buddies after a long night.

I can't even sell any fish cakes to this guy. It's not even true. The fish cake economy is, uh, it means nothing. But he's all stew. It can stew all the time. Stew stew is my favorite. They should really, the girl guide just started selling stew. Just ladling stew.

Yeah. I actually think they would do well with a savory option. Cause you know what, it's not even the gluten sensitivities, it's the fact that a lot of people don't like sugar now. So pick something different, have some like seaweed crisps or cheese crisps or something keto, they should go keto. Everybody in the way of a gym or a Pilates studio, they would sell them. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Cause we had to sell those cookies. I didn't even eat any of them. I don't want to eat that. Oh, we just ended up eating them all. Yeah. Really? Do you?

But what's your favorite? Is it cause you know, it's seasonal. So one time of the year, it's the chocolate and vanilla one. And then in a different, in a half a year, they're the chocolate mint ones. What do you like? In America, in the United States, the Girl Scouts, they have like 10 varieties.

What? They've got peanut butter ones, they got... What do they call them, like blondies or something? Is that one of them? Yeah, I don't know. But in America, they eat that stuff more. And I know that- Look, I think I could stand up to any American

when it comes to eating. Yeah, when it comes still eating. Eating cookies. But wait, when's the last time you had like a totally packaged processed food? And I- Today. Yeah, really? Later today when I go home. I'm talking about like Twinkies, like Flakies, like those-

Oh, those things. That category, because I have met a lot of US comics who will eat that on the road. Little Debbie's and things like that. Those things. The kinds of things that are available at a, yeah, you don't do that. No, no, I never thought they tasted good. They don't taste good.

It's just that people eat them. Yeah, I would like, if you're at a gas station and you're like driving from town to town. I still would, I would rather starve. Yeah, well, I mean, I'll just get like a thing of seeds, a thing of sunflower seeds or pistachios. Beef jerky is a favorite among comics. They really should make a more vegan protein one.

The Girl Scouts guides should just be selling beef jerky. Yes, absolutely. Yes, as long as they didn't make it themselves. Can you imagine that badge? Meat dehydrating badge. The wrong code badge. Yeah. Well, you guys want to move on some over herds?

Sure. Oh. Good evening. Thanks for tuning in to 101.1 Max Fun. It's midnight here on Host to Coast and we've got Sarah from Michigan on line one. Hi, I'm calling in for some help. I used to love reading, but between grad school, having kids, and the general state of the world, I can't seem to pick up a book and stick with it anymore.

Sarah, this is an easy one. Just listen to Reading Glasses, a podcast designed to help you read better. Brea and Mallory will get all the pressure, shame, and guilt out of your reading life. You'll be finishing books you love in no time. Great, that sounds amazing. Also, I do think my husband is cheating on me with Mothman. Can you help me with that one? Oh, I don't think they cover that.

Reading glasses every Thursday on Maximum Fun. WrestleMania is the biggest. And busiest. Time of the year for wrestling and the Titan Fights podcast is more important than ever. We have so many questions to explore. How can you understand John Cena's motivation as a bad guy? Why is a car crash actually a great expression of friendship? You mean friendship, right? Of course. Whether you're a longtime wrestling fan or coming back after a

break, Titan Fights has you covered. This WrestleMania and every weekend after on Maximum Fun. Titan Fights, podcast, Dice and Bites. Overheard. Overheard is a segment where we hear things out there in the world, you hear things out in the world. Why don't we share? Why don't we pass them back and forth? We always like to start with the guest. Julie, you have an overheard. Okay. I'm always in, like, situations where there's parents and kids. And I don't actually interact with like the other parents

and kids because like I'm often working or whatever, but I do like to overhear. And one time we were in line at Science World and the mom was kind of yelling at her kid and the kid was yelling and the mom said, I would be a lot nicer if your dad cooked all the meals. Ah, yes. And I thought that's a weird thing to say to your kid, but it's probably so right.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Probably be more easy going if you don't have to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I make, I have a joke about like, you know, the women and the mental load. And I do have this line that I've started using where it's just like, think about it, you know, the women and the mental load. And I do have this line that I've started using where it's just like, think about it, your parents,

is your mom a bitch? It's because of your dad. And this is stupid throwaway line, but people laugh so hard because I think mothers get this, you know, reputation for being like high, strong, and not that nice and all of that. But it's basically because she's doing too much. So this child was like three years old.

I just had the contact. She was like, well, I wouldn't be yelling if your dad would cook. You know what I mean? And it was just like, it was like such a broad comment, but it stuck with me maybe because cooking is a thing in my place too. Should I have given a longer one?

Or what? No, that was exactly. Let's go, come on, stretch it out. I've also said that actually. I now say it more, like I think it all the time. Anyways, I'll talk about it with my therapist. Anyway, here's my overheard. It's an overseen and it is this.

I saw, do you remember that video, that old commercial for Skittles? It was a great commercial. It was like, hey, it was a guy who worked in this store and everything he touched turned to Skittles. It was a great commercial. It was like, hey, it was a guy who worked in this store and everything he touched turned to Skittles. Oh, yeah. I remember that. Yeah, but like lots of Skittles. Yeah, yeah, they hand him a stapler. The stapler turns into a stapler-sized bundle of Skittles and it flies everywhere. And he's so sad, like the new employee is like, oh, that's so cool. And he's so sad he can never hold his child.

He can never shake someone's hand. And the phone rings. He picks up the phone and turns to Skittles. He gets mad, smashes his hands on the desk, turns to Skittles. For some reason, this is someone posted this on Instagram, some stupid account. And all the comments were like, the comments, they made me laugh. Because the first comment, what if he touched himself? Yeah. Also, he hadn't touched his desk until that point in the day. Yeah. I mean, people were really going in on the logic of, what if he touched the ground?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can he not brush his teeth what if he touched the ground? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can he not brush his teeth? If he touches the ground, does the whole world turn to Skittles? It's only his hands. It's only his hands that could do Skittles. Yeah, well, exactly. And he goes, someone's comment was,

what if he touched the man, but only his skin became Skittles? Oh, and that's still human on inside. Yes, he is a non-skittle skeleton. These are all very good questions. Maybe I'm overthinking it, but what could this man's job possibly be? Well, he could be a great freak show guy or a villain of some sort. Oh, I would go see that circus. Yeah, bring me something, I'll turn into the skittle.

Yes, I'll bring my mother-in-law. My final favorite comment was, I wonder if you could crush the Skittles and stick them together and make a glove out of it. Nice. So like a way to protect you like Dean Grey in the X-Men. Yeah, like if he wears gloves, the gloves turn into Skittles.

But what if the gloves are made of Skittles? Then he can wear gloves and not turn everything into Skittles, I mean I well, I think we We we solved it Anyway, that's that's my overseen I guess love it Mine is courtesy of voting. Uh-huh and The guy you get this big voting card and you fill in whatever spaces you want and then you take them over, they feed it into a machine.

And the machine goes, num num num, democracy. And the guy in front of me was handing it to the young gal and he said, oh, it's just like Scantron. And she was just like, do you want a sticker? Like a Scantron means nothing to her. But does Scantron not exist anymore? I don't know, not in her world. She's like, is that a transformer? Yeah.

Well, it was like when, cause that's, we rarely did Scantron in high school cause it was too futuristic. It was pretty futuristic. And yet in the future, now that we live in the future, we're not all Scantron in high school because it was too futuristic. It was pretty futuristic. And yet in the future, now that we live in the future, we're not all Scantroning everything? Yeah, and I remember, you remember they did them in front of the class?

Like they would put this, they wouldn't say whose was whose, but they'd put a test in and be like, brr, brr, and that'd be like, okay, they got two wrong. No. But some guys they'd go and go. Oh, I never did that. That's too stressful.

No, I never saw them. Like they had to take them to a third location. We did it, it was like seeing somebody be hanged. It was everybody gathered around for the scan. I presume there was one Scantron for the whole city. Like it was, because. The guy downtown, he's just like, I'm done, they're killing me here.

Well yeah, I thought the machine was the size of a building. Yeah, we did the tests. We would, like it had to be an important test for it to require a scantron Oh, man. Yeah, no, we used to get we was watch people do the scantron I remember let's see if you can buy a scantron machine eBay I remember the pain of being someone who couldn't make up their mind But also the person who pushed really hard with their pencil on the scantchan sheet and trying to erase it and putting in a new answer

and not knowing if the new answer would register. And if you don't get your sheet back, you wouldn't know if you got it wrong or you got it right, but it picked up the wrong answer. Do you know what I mean? Can I redo mine? Yeah. Well, let's do, yeah.

You wanna do another one? Well, yes. Okay, let's, yeah. You want to do another one? Well, yes. Okay, let's do another one, yeah. Okay. Do you need me to cut out the old one? If you want to. I don't. No.

Okay, if you don't want to, that's okay. By the way, you can get a Scantron reading machine for 210 Canadian dollars. That's the one, yeah, yeah. It looks like a little, like a printer. Oh, that's how cheap it is? Yeah. What's your application now though? That would be a fun laugh gallery, wouldn't it? It would be great. printer. Oh, that's how cheap it is? Yeah. What's your application now though? That would be a fun laugh gallery, wouldn't it?

It would be great. Oh yeah. That's how you do the quizzes. Yeah, everybody multiple choices. Oh my God. We feed them into the machine. 500 sheets of 100 questions cost $97, jeez. Sounds pretty good actually.

I think that's high. Oh, you can get it for $70. Wow, you gotta see what you can bid, you know, eBay it's part of the fun. Okay, Julie can get it for $70. Wow, you gotta see what you can bid, you know? eBay, it's part of the fun. Okay, Julie. Well, I just wanted to share with you, since you were doing an overseen, it made me realize that I could do something

that was like an over-read. Sure. Okay? So this is not for self-promotion, but I'll share that this week is interesting because I posted a video on Monday of me handling a heckler in Whistler when I did a show there. And as of this second, the post has 1.3 million views and like 1100 comments. But so I find some of the comments are really interesting. So basically it was me doing a show. I talked about my C-section and a man in the front row who was there alone, uh, put

his hand up so he could tell me that actually I don't know about childbirth and that I should have had a natural birth because it would have led to better immunity for my child. So I handled the heckler a little bit. I joked like, are you alone? And then I, you know, uh, basically said, no, you like what you don't know is that I've dipped her in a few more times. Like she's fine, you know, F you kind of deal. But I had no idea how popular this would become, but I had no idea how much I would be entertained by the

comments. Okay. And let me say by and large, it's women in the comments and being nothing but supportive of me, but also like what the hell is wrong with this guy kind of thing. One for heckling in the first place, I could think a lot of people don't really understand what a heckler really looks like and how it's intrusive to the show. The fact that he was a man telling me about his knowledge, which he got reading articles for fun.

He wasn't a doctor. He's not a scientist. So he wasn't wearing scrubs. No, he was not, no. But he might've been a scrub himself. He wasn't a doctor. He's not as- So he wasn't wearing scrubs. No, he was not, no. But he might've been a scrub himself. He, and again, he had love for me, I'll tell you that. I was gonna pause to see if anyone wanted to sing, no? Well, just let me just-

Go ahead, I know you want to. I actually am in a hurry. I need to get in the passenger side of my best friend's ride. Yes. All right, and you have to holler at somebody. Yeah. So I'm just saying that I've been over reading. I have been reading all of the comments that I get back and these people are mad.

These women are mad. How the audacity of this man, the arrogance of thinking he knows more than doctors, cause he read a summary of a study one time. It's like everybody in the internet was mad at this guy, this lane, stay in your lane, brah. And then there's actually a famous singer, her name is Jax, do you know Jax?

She goes, she replied and she goes, in the middle of a comedy show and then like a brain explosion thing, emoji, yeah. Anyways, one comment that somebody made was, he must be fun at parties. And then I just responded real quick, he reads about parties. And that comment got 17 and a half thousand likes.

Wow. But what I'm loving is just the reading that I'm doing of all of these comments along the same theme. Oh, I wouldn't be able to go two seconds seconds if I ever had anything go viral, be like, what did you say now? But it's made me feel like really great about where our society is, or anybody who's seen my videos, that everyone is so on board with a man. But isn't there anybody who's like, hey, that guy was right? Yeah. Yes, a few people, they're like, it was rude of him, but he's not wrong, lol. And then they start

fighting over the literature together. There's amateur readers of science. It is kind of fun. But by and large, what I have been enjoying over reading is the overwhelming response in support of me. That's nice. And against hecklers. Yeah. Great. I'm bro heckler. Well, you deal with them really well.

Well, that's a hard form really. Like what people don't realize about hecklers is, you know, you can't, you kind of gotta study the greats. Yeah. That's right. Soy bomb, I think he's one of the greats. Trying to think of the all time great hecklers. Oh, John Wilkes Booth, he probably.

The two Muppet guys. What are their names? Statler and Waldorf. Really? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know they had names. Well, now you know. Now you can pass that on to your children.

Soi Bomb and Waldorf. That's my gift to you. Soi Bomb. Soi Bomb? Soi Bomb was a guy who went up on stage with, you aforementioned Bob Dylan during, I don't know if his name was soy bomb. He had soy bomb written on his chest.

Really? I thought you guys were making stuff up and this was an inside joke. No, this is a- This was a public joke during a Bob Dylan performance at like an award show. Yeah. And he just went on stage,

just had soy bomb written on his chest, started dancing around. Yeah, it wasn't anything bad. It was just like... It wasn't even a heckle, it was just a... It's a physical heckle to get up and start dancing. Yeah. Sort of like a, it was semi-streaking.

Yeah. But he wore a shirt. No shirt. Oh, I think, what, what said Soy Bomb? His chest. His chest, yeah, the paint above his chest. Oh. But he had a shirt. No shirt. Oh, I thought, what, what said Soymom? His chest. His chest. He had a paint above his chest. Oh, oh.

But he had pants on. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, he was a gentleman streaker. Yeah. Yeah. Why aren't there more of that? The gentleman streakers. They were making our point.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I don't have to be all the way negative. Save the environment or whatever. I always thought of streaking being more about showing your private parts. Like. I mean, but not among gentlemen, certainly the CADs, the ruffians will show their privates, but. Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the world. If you want to send one in, send it in to SPY at maximumfund.org.

This one comes from Russ from Calgary, the local YMCA. Could be anywhere. There's a new one where Eau Claire used to be. Maybe that's his local. Maybe one in Midnapore. God, I don't know how many YMCA's there are here. There's one downtown. Yeah, there's for sure one down.

There's one up by the university at Langara. I go to the YWCA and I heckle. When people are swimming? Yeah. Just shirtless. Soy bomb. Soy bomb. This first one comes from Russ. I had my six and three-year-old girl at the pool.

And as I was having a splash fight with my six-year-old, I could hear my three-year-old occupying herself by pretending the flutter board was a keyboard that she was playing and singing a made up song. At the end of her song, I overheard her saying, that one was called five humans pooping. That's adorable. This is a little number I call. People are like, she like show up to our concert. Your music saved me. There's five humans and guess what we were doing earlier.

Could you imagine a five seater toilet? Like a bike that can fit multiple people. Yeah, tandem. What would that look like? It was just the, all of, you would have, it would be a circle, like from the top, it would look like a flower, but then it would all lead into the same basin.

Do you think so? You should be the next Steve Jobs. If I designed it, I would design it so that everybody's like toilet bowl was separate. So you, like one person couldn't make a splash up somebody else's butt. Do you know what I mean? I think that would be the one.

But it's all going into a central. I think so. I think it would like, yeah. I mean, I can't imagine how you would splash into someone else's butt, anyway. Some people would have, like, because if you had one bowl and the butts were close together,

it's conceivable that you could let out a hard poop and then it would cause a splash up someone else's butt. How violated would you feel? I would do like one of those champagne towers where you first hit the top and then it just runs down. Like a fondue tower too. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's already brown. Dave, your dream toilet scenario? Yeah, I was thinking of the giant champagne. When you said champagne tower, I was thinking of a giant champagne, Dita Von T's glass. You're swimming around in it. This next one comes from Matt in St. Andrew, Scotland. My four-year-old was recently discovered, who recently discovered Barbie through her

nursery and had been requesting we played the Barbie song when we drive in the car. Having no clue what the Barbie song is, we played the only thing we could think of, which was Aqua's Barbie Girl. Our daughter loved it, and lately she's been singing it. The other day though, we overheard her singing it and noticed she's changed the lyrics. The original as you know goes, I'm a Barbie Barbie girl in a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair and dress me everywhere. Our daughter's version was, I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world. Life is plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, I'll breastfeed anywhere. What?

You know what? I hope that little girl knows she can breastfeed anywhere. I hope she can. Not ever cover up. There's a thing at the airport in Vancouver. I don't know if they're in airports everywhere, it's called like a LAC. I know what you're talking about.

Sometimes I wanna just go in there. It's called a what? It's like a lactate, lactation. Lactation. Yeah. Lactation station or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think, okay, it's for women, as you know,

who don't wanna be seen in public breastfeeding. They want some privacy, but sometimes women have to seek privacy because other people shame them. So I always thought those, which those should be for people who see a woman breastfeeding freely. So I always thought those, which those should be for people who see a woman breastfeeding freely so they can sit in there and just take a fucking break.

I would love to sit in there and just, I don't know, just carry a subway sandwich with me or something like that. Oh, that'd be nice. Yeah. I was, oh, I gotta use the phone. Sandwich and milk. I love the- Ringero milk. Yeah.

As soon as I get off a plane, I gotta go lactate. I don't know what they look like inside though. White, all white. Malocobar from- I noticed them when I was a breast feeder, but I have on principle always refused to hide when I breastfeed. I heard that you should hide.

That's I've read some studies, some scientific studies online. Oh my God, come help me. Actually you should hide. Come help me at a show. It's better for've read some studies, some scientific studies online. Oh my God, come help me. Actually you should hide. Come help me at a show. It's better for the kid if you're hiding. I'm also like, I like when the airport has a sign for the chapel or like a non-denominational

religious spot. I've never seen that. Oh yeah, get me there. For reals? Oh, they got those communion wafers. What? Just out of a vending machine. Yeah, $10.

They're so expensive at the airport. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This last one comes from Daniel. Wolfgang Puck's. Oh, God. Speaking of canned monstrosities, Wolfgang Puck, that's almost below Puritan. What do they sell? Oh, soups?

He sells like a soup or stew. The soups. Well, you know, the famous thing about his pizza is- That it's bad? Well, Johnny Carson's his, the famous thing about his pizza is- That it's bad? Well, Johnny Carson used to buy like a dozen pizzas from him at a time.

And Wolfgang Puck would be like, what? You're eating all these? And he's like, no, I freeze them. And then I eat them. Oh. And Wolfgang Puck was like, that's terrible. And then he was like, actually, that gives me an idea. Then Wolfgang Puck starts like, that's terrible. And then he was like, actually, that gives me an idea. Then Wolfgang Puck starts his own late night show.

He does it. That gives me an idea. I'm gonna be mean to Ed McMahon. Can I say I watched on like some, I think it was Tubi's channel or Roku or something. They had old roasts, the Friars Club roasts from like the seventies. Old roasts, that Friars Club roasts from like the 70s. Old roasts, that's what they put in Puritan Theft Stew.

And it's like, within 30 seconds of it starting, homophobic joke, like immediate, and it was Johnny Carson too, was the host that said it. So anyways. I thought he was an ally. I know. This last one comes from Daniel C. in Davis, California. This is an over-dreamt, one of our favorite things

on the show. Wait, Daniel? Danielle, okay. Nice. I was sitting at a round table, so this is a dream. Sitting at a round table for a meeting and I was early. I wasn't sure who I was meeting with though. The door opened and all four members of Metallica came in and sat down

They all pulled out their phones and James Hetfield says, okay, we all know why we're here We need to figure out the best shared calendar to keep track of birthdays Lars wanted to use the one on his iPhone Rob wanted to use Google James wanted to keep a paper one and text people Kirk did not have an opinion A paper one and text people. Kirk did not have an opinion. A paper one and text people. James, you idiot. They needed me to break the tie, but in the end, I just asked if this would be better settled in the therapist, with the therapist from the movie. Phil Towell?

He stared at me and annoyed and I woke up. Wow. Yeah. I wonder what he ate before going to bed. geez, I don't know. What would induce that kind of thing? I've never had food like, uh, affect my dreams. That you know. Oh, do you think? How about drink? Uh, yeah, I could go for a drink. Yeah. What? No, I mean, did I know what you mean? In addition to over-hers that are written,

and we also accept your phone calls and voice memos, if you want to send us a voice memo, it's spyatmaximumfun.org. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, SpyPod one, like these people have. You just gave us an overdreamt, so we'll start these with an overdreamt.

Yes. Hello, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is David in Broomfield, Colorado calling in with an overdreamt. A while ago, I dreamed that I had somehow enabled a feature in Windows where I had to confirm that I hadn't left my dogs locked in my car every time I logged into my work computer. Then I accidentally hit a button saying to stop asking because my dogs had died. Oh geez! Then Microsoft started sending me condolence emails. I spent the rest of the dream looking for a way to assure them that my dogs are alive and to turn off the initial setting. Well, off I go. Blah, blah, blah, blah. All laugh.

You have funny listeners. We do. And I feel bad for that dog. Well, I mean, the dog was fine. The dog was fine. He just wanted to get out of the... That actually is like, that is actually like a good, like,

just a reminder for somebody. Is your dog okay? Oh my God, oh yeah, he's in the car. It's like a breathalyzer for your phone. Yeah, I mean, you know what? I like it. I've decided. I like it. All right. Next phone call. Hi, Dave. Hey, Graham. Hey, Jess.

I just walked past someone who under their breath, they were all alone, didn't have anyone with them. They whispered, thumbs up emoji. What? Well, off I go. Said to themselves? Yeah, just muttering, thumbs up emoji.

Oh, it's kind of like saying like, not epic fail, but awesome sauce or something like that. Is awesome sauce the opposite episode of epic fail? Yeah, I guess so. Epic fail and awesome sauce. Epic win. Epic win. Epic win sauce.

You know what scenario comes to me? I'm picturing the guy that's walking. He's dating someone. He sent a text he's really excited about. He thinks it was witty, and all he got back was a thumbs up emoji. And so now he's walking by himself and he's thinking about what it is. This is a sad, yeah.

Oh right, and he's like, what does that mean? Thumbs up emoji. Or like being like, thumbs up emoji. That's, you know what, in that situation, I gotta check in with my bros. Hey, what does it mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Hey chat, what's up? What's up? What does this mean? It's funny in movies that there will be people who have Maybe people are like this, but they have friends that are like so how's it going with the girl you're dating? I'm like, I don't think I've ever had a friend ask me My girlfriends and I talk about that all the time

or any males I know. Yeah. How's it going with that person? Or I would say, how is that person? Yeah, I'd say how is that person? No, I want to know how's the missus. How's the prospect of your possible new relationship going? Right.

No? But like you do all the eats and stuff or do you just- No, we just want to know, like are you still seeing this person or how did it just? No, we just wanna know, like, are you still seeing this person or how did it go? What's it like? It was weird, yeah. Yeah.

What's it like being with that person? If you know what I mean. You know, locker room talk. Yeah, that's true. I never had any locker room talk. Oh yeah. Her butt was as big as the globe. Shit, that sounds great.

Absolutely. Her butt was as big as the globe. Shit, that sounds great! Absolutely. And her eyes were like two pools of still water. Oh, so pretty! Yeah. Her lips were like a big cushion of, basically like a lip shaped couch. So you're basically describing a woman as a cabana of some sort. I'm dating Cherry from Huey's Playhouse.

Here's your final phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Jason from Baltimore. My ground level apartment is between a popular bar and a university. And I hear some really funny things from students leaving late night to stumble back home. The other night two girls were walking by my window and one goes, oh my God, I have to poop so bad. And the other one replies, oh, I've had to poop since like freshman year.

Okay, off I go. And someday it's gonna come out of that. It reminds me of when people on New Year's Eve and they say goodbye and they're like, see you next year. I haven't pooped since last year. It's me January 1st, I'm doing all of them. Yeah. I did have to have my first ever enema

first year university. Thank you. Yeah, because you're there. That was the time we'd talk about it. You're on a meal plan, you're probably overeating, you're drinking and certainly not getting enough fiber. So I remember there was one weekend where I had the biggest stomach ache, like I thought it was gonna die,

went to the ER and they're like, when did you poo last? And I said, I don't remember. Let me check my calendar. High school. You said your first enema, how many have you had since? And only ever enema from eating too much of the cafeteria food at the dorm. Yeah, of course. You know what I voted, when I voted in the civic election, I said, this town needs an

enema. Was that one of the vote, that was a write-in? Yeah, I voted for the Joker. I can't believe he gets on the ballot every year, but you know what? He gets the signatures signatures mostly from criminals. Yeah. It says that Two-Face here says that you should be on city council. He's not even a mayor, he's just a city council.

Jokers on the parks part. Two-Face is a, isn't he a politician? He's a politician, that's right, Harvey Dent. Is he mayor? No. He was, no, he was police commissioner. No, Commissioner Gordon. Commissioner Gordon was police commissioner. Was Harvey Dent the mayor?

Are we talking about Batman now? We're talking about Batman. Okay. We've gone all in on Batman. He's a DA. Okay. I was wondering when that transition happened. And who is the mayor in Batman? The mayor of Gotham.

In The Dark Knight, is it the guy with the eyeliner? Dr. Eyeliner? Yes, he was in the TV show The Tick. He was in... Yeah, he was on Lost. Yes, yeah. Just watched that the other night. When I should have been going to bed,

I started watching Dark Knight Rises. A whole movie? Yeah, went to bed at 3.30 in the morning. Dr. Eyeliner... No, that's not what I want. Anyway, you can wrap up the show. What's his name, what's his name? Is this lost star wearing eyeliner? Nester Carbonell. Yes, and he just looks like he is, but maybe he doesn't.

Maybe he's just got lovely, lovely, yeah. Oh, that guy, totally. He was also in Morning Show with Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon and the whole time was so distracting to be like, is he wearing eyeliner? Yeah, I think he just has like those, that's just his look. That's his natural water line.

Yeah. Well, that brings us to the end of this show. Julie, tell us all the things you're plugging. His character name in The Dark Knight is just Mayor. Oh, he's just Mayor? Yeah. I voted for Mayor. I'm plugging eyeliner.

Yeah. The Sephora V.I.B. sale is on right now and they're not paying me to say that. What am I plugging personally? Yeah, personally. Well, first of all, I have to say I've had a lot of fun. I don't often do podcasts as you may be able to tell from me not knowing when to talk or

Interrupting you several times and not joining in on the laughter because I didn't know if you were doing a bit Yeah, or it was an inside joke or it's all sometimes all of the above something else. Oh, okay You were perfect. You were on time you were you talk we talked about stews and sauce Yeah, we counted down our top five sauces. It was fun. You gotta pay the extra for our bonus content where we talked out, we talk up our top five favorite dips. Yeah. Is that right?

Do you do bonus content? We do. Bonus content. Oh, I love that. I love that. So anyways, I'm new to this. I also have, I'll plug my own podcast. I have a podcast called Bothered.

It's only a couple months long. It's a very short storytelling podcast about like weird and strange things that have happened to me. They're like microaggressions. So a lot of women and people of color will identify like a man at a hotel lounge telling me to shush with this hand gesture for talking at a normal volume on the phone, not even on speakerphone, lots of like little things like that

and things I've done back. Anyways, I try to keep it fun and light, even though I get very angry, which is fun for other people to listen to. I think the main other thing I'm plugging is just my show at the Vogue Theater, May 24th. I think it's gonna be a good time. We sold a lot of tickets.

I wanna sell a lot more and just like have a big party. You know what? If you've got a big party, head over to the Vogue and have a show and then you can go to the Commodore Leeds. You can go bowling. You can go to the Roxy. Apparently there's now a Taco Bell on Granville Street.

I saw that. I don't know if it's open yet, but. Get yourself a Gordita. Yeah. Or go to sleep afterwards. Yeah. Crunchwrap Supreme. Yeah. Oh, I'm supreme

Yeah, they have they now have the mini crunch wraps. What are they like the size of throwing stars? Nice. Oh That's really a door. Are you gonna go on it's open? I don't think so. Yeah me neither, but it's a really small I walked by it. It's very it's a Taco Bell's kind of the losses luster. It's also not cheap anymore Hmm. No, also not cheap anymore. No, nothing's cheap anymore. You know what I miss? Harvey's, Harvey's used to be on Granville. Those are my favorite burgers.

Harvey's and then for a while there was a poutine place right next door. Smokes. Oh yeah, it's called. Still mousses around the corner. While all the smoke flavor has been taken to the poutine on the mountain, Seymour Mountain. I heard they had culturally appropriated the smoke, so they had to.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's just how it goes in the sauce business. You can't do that. Yeah. Thank you, everybody out there for listening. If you've got a favorite sauce, let the world know it. Don't hide it inside. Scream your sauce from the mountaintop and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.