Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 893 - Danielle Florence

Episode Date: April 29, 2025

Comedian Danielle Florence joins us to talk Babysitters Club, waving, and fraud. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 893 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me, as always, is a man who decorated his front lawn with a bunch of cute Easter eggs, and I love it. And I love him. It's Dave Schumke.

Hi, we're recording this before Easter. That's right. I think it's Maundy Thursday. Yeah, what is that? Fat Wednesday, no, Fat Tuesday. That's already passed. Fat Tuesday, that was at the beginning of Lent. Oh, right. Well, it's the day before the beginning of Lent.

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of Lent. Yeah. Then you got nothing, and then you got Palm Sunday. And then you got, do you ever have a Palm Trio? No, what's that? It's a Palm Pilot. And then I think today is Monday Thursday which is the day that they had the last supper okay good Friday tomorrow that's the big show and then Saturday is there an Easter Saturday I don't know and I

know that only good Friday is a holiday. Easter Monday doesn't get. The schools are closed. Oh, what the hell? Four day weekend, brah. I gotta get my ass back to school. I know that, nevermind man.

I just, okay, I'll do it. Here we go. Do you remember the song, Every Day is a Winding Road by Sheryl Crow? Yes. Well, in that song every day is a winding road by Cheryl Crowe? Yes well In that song she refers to someone who he has a daughter named easter. She was born on a tuesday night I don't know But if we're going through the days of the week as they relate to easter, that's one. That's what okay. Okay

Um our guest she was also a member of a tuesday night music club We know that she was a and she was drinking beer singer for michael jackson She was also a member of a Tuesday night music club. We know that. And she was a backup singer for Michael Jackson. She was also drinking beers at noon on a Tuesday. She's got a problem. Cheryl Crowe is a Tuesday kind of gal. Our guest today, first time guest on the podcast, very funny comedian, formerly a podcast host, and we can't wait to hear all about it.

It's Danielle Florence. Hello. Hello. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me. How influenced were you by Sheryl Crow? Deeply. Yeah. Deeply. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What was your favorite song? Honestly, I don't know any of them and I was not. I was just trying to be a yes man. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know a few. Do I? You know, Soak Up The Sun. I know Soak Up The Sun,

but I don't think I know any song names. Oh, sure. Yeah. Like, period? Or like anyone's songs names? I think maybe period. Wow. Just in general, can't remember song names?

Yeah, yeah, I think so. Oh, that's interesting. That's some sort of disease you have. I think I might have a disease. One of you is a medical professional, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm, boy, I'm Dr. Feelgood, but that's a song name. I'm an orthodontist, so I'm not really a doctor, but, and you've got good teeth.

Yeah, because of all the orthodontia that you gave me. Yeah, you're welcome. That's actually how we met. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, in the chair, a different chair. I was working as a comedian at night. That's how I made my money. And then during the day, I was an amateur orthodontist.

Amateur, yeah, you were very cheap. Should we get to know us? Yeah. ["Get to Know Us"] Get to know us. I bet you could get a ton of dental gear on like Facebook Marketplace. Oh yeah, I bet you could.

Or from one of those like prop houses when they go to business. Like one of those like little water guns, do you mean? I mean the chair, the like swively. Well I thought you meant the braces and retainers. I mean, sky's the limit. Last week we looked up Scantron. You can buy a Scantron machine.

Really? And the sheets. I bet you could buy on eBay, I bet you could get all the like elastics to do adjustments. Did you do braces? Oh, oh, I did. I did braces, Invisalign.

Really? I had jaw surgery. Oh, wow. A year and a half ago, I still have Invisalign. Okay. Yeah, I've done all of it. I'm a bit of an aficionado. What was the surgery for? I couldn't breathe. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's a big, that's classic.

And that's a big one. I don't know if you guys know that. I haven't breathed since 1989. Yay. I can tell. Despite your tattoo that's on your wrist. For those that breathe? Yeah, but it's in white.

Wait, that's a Colby Kalay song? What? Breathe. It's, could be. You guys know Colby Kalay, right? Yeah, she sings something about her toes in one of her songs. No, you're thinking of Jack Johnson. The same person though, I think. Actually, one of them is just wearing like a little straw fedora.

Yeah, Colby Calle is sort of in the Sean Colvin. It also sounds like he said Yippee-Ki-Yay. Colby Calle, motherfucker. That's on the TV version, but that person censored the wrong word. Wait, which one of these is a swear word? Yeah, right? She has a song where she's talking about, it's sung to a potential love interest or whatever. Suck on these toes.

Yeah. Yeah. You can buy that. Colby Calle is, I think, the kind of artist who her album was for sale in Starbucks. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just deep. And like every contemporary dance class used her songs.

Oh, wow. You're a dancer? Oh, yeah. Oh. No, I mean, I was. What happened? Oh, I grew up. Oh.

You know, I had to give it up. Yeah. My knees got too weak. Yeah. What were you doing? What kind of dance were you talking about? All of the dances. Jazz?

Oh, yeah. Razzmatazz? Razzmatazz. Did you tap? As if it is out. Tap, I tapped. Uh- dances. Jazz? Oh yeah. Razzmatazz? Razzmatazz. Did you tap? As if it is app, tap, I tapped. Yeah? Yeah, I did a tap dance to walk like an Egyptian.

I know so many song titles. Oh my god. What am I talking about? Yeah, yeah. Were you, was this school based or was this like? Extra curricularly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then my dad, when I was 13,

oh, this is why I stopped dance. I'm just remembering. Oh, we've unlocked something. We've unlocked something. I'm going to start crying. No, my dad made me stop dancing because the studio had bad energy. Whoa. Yeah. So he-

He's a big energy guy. Okay. Can he read people's, is he do like a Reiki? Can he like see people's auras? Yeah. He feels energy off of people and like he, everything around him is like static electricity. And then the other day I was home

and my hair was all like staticky and he was like, whoa, you know, I think you've got it too. Is he, we were, Graham and I were talking recently about, I just started rewatching Better Call Saul. And he's got the brother who has no electricity in his house, claims he's allergic to electricity. Is it like that?

Does he have a lot of candles? He does have a lot of, he has a lot of incense. He has a lot of incense. What is- He chants a lot. Really? Oh yeah. So is your dad is like a full fledged hippie?

Yeah. Yeah. But also he was like a Duncan 1950s greaser getting in fights with everyone sort of guy. Oh, it's kind of a weird dichotomy of him. Did he graduate from one to the other or were they both there? Is he an old dad? He was an old dad. You so, so because he was 50s, group.

Yeah, you know, and honestly, I really wish that you would let me have that mistake, but it's fine that you're not. There's a- Older. Sure. But my parents were born in the 40s and I was born in the 80s. And your dad was born in the 50s, you were born in the 90s.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And that math checks out. It's 10 to 10. What? It's 10, I subtracted 10 from both sides. But I love that he was like a brawler. He was a brawler. Wow. Was he in a gang?

No, I don't think so. He brawled by himself. Brawled. Oh, he's a brawl for hire. A brawl for hire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lone brawler. Did he brass knuckles, chains?

Both. Oh, shit. OK. No, I think he just has fists. OK. Loose fists. OK. Loose fist Florence is what they call them.

I've heard of them. Yeah. I had a friend who wrote a book about, there was kind of like inter-neighborhood gangs in Vancouver in the 50s. So like you would, you're, you know. What was that book called? Something about-

Routy Squads. Yeah. But like every, like there were parks that were just like this, the Clark Park gang. Oh yeah, the Clark Park gang. I actually have heard of that. Have you heard that? Yeah.

And this was at the book launch and almost everybody there was either a former gang member or a cop. And so they were all like catching up like, remember I used to take you around. Yeah. Yeah. Remember the cold steel of handcuffs. they were all catching up like, remember I used to take you around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember the cold steel of handcuffs. Clark Park is a underrated park.

Where? What do you think? It is the park that is between Clark and Victoria, I guess, when commercial turns into Victoria, and the park goes up a hill, and there's like a forest in between the two fields. What do you think some of- Like there's my dream a forest in between the two fields. Ugh. What do you think? Like there's my dream house that looks onto the top part. Ooh, what's your dream house?

It's this yellow house by Clark Park. Yeah. I suppose it's a craftsman style. What's one like kooky thing that you would want in your dream house? I don't know, my wife is pretty kooky. Nice, really good. What would do that? Oh, maybe like a, oh, like one of those bookcases

that turns into a secret passage. Oh, sure. For sure. Yeah, that's smart. Oh, and then when you go into the secret passage, there's a slide down into a pool. I was gonna say slide, yeah, slide underrated. Yeah, you know what I would really like in my dream house

is five fucking minutes of peace. My daughter had to do a thing for school where you draw a blueprint of your house and like come up with your fire plan of like how you would get out in a fire. Or how you light a fire. How you light a fire, well, start of the stove. And it was a little, it really made me think, hey, what is our meetup spot?

Yeah, I've often like planned to, but never have executed a earthquake meetup spot with Sally, because we have, we're working on, we're working on an earthquake kit, after the little tiny yeah, yeah Yeah, tiny earthquakes. Is that a song or is it just an album? Is it Tori Amos? Is it Tori Amos? Were you 17 when Tori Amos came out? Now by the way the Colby Kay the top two songs of hers Oh bubb, Bubbly. Bubbly is the second, yeah, biggest song on.

That's what it is. I'm doing a modern dance to this. Yeah. That's not the one I know. I know, let me get to. Falling on my window, baby. That's the one I know. Yeah, that's Bubbly.

That's Bubbly. Oh, that's Bubbly, okay, yeah. We are having a simple place. Yeah, got it, yeah. I know all the lyrics to that song. Yeah. I could drink so many cups of coffee to that. How many recitals did you have to have in a year?

Did it all lead up to one? It all led up to one. Wow. Yeah. Did you do ballet? Did you break your feet? I didn't do ballet. No.

I was a little bit too alternative for that. Yeah, Joker did ballet. Oh really? What happened previously? This was after the Batmobile lost its wheel. Oh right, yes. That's really Robin Lighted Egg. I didn't see fully yet, does Joker do ballet in that? No, probably, yeah.

Did you see the Joker sequel? I did not. Yeah, I don't know anybody who has, so I can't kind of. I don't think anyone did, actually. Did you see the Joker sequel? I did not. Yeah, I don't know anybody who has, so I can't kind of. I don't think anyone did. Did you see the Joker first one? It was called Joker, it starred Joaquin Phoenix. Oh no, no, no, I did not see, I did not see Joker. The last Joaquin Phoenix movie I saw was,

what is it, Hershey? Hershey. Hershey. Hershey, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it, it's her, right? Who, her? Yeah. Yeah, about the, he falls in love with a computer.

Scarlett Johansson. Yeah. Yeah, her voice. Yeah. Yeah. It's the Colin Jost story. Yeah. I liked in the movie that people were like high pants. Like that was like a style from

the 40s and 50s that like everybody was into in the future. I thought that was kind of cool. Are you into high pants? I would be if that was the style. High waisted. Yeah, high waisted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The style seems to have gone in the way of like high ankle.

Like. Yeah, yeah. Like cropped. Yes. Cropped ass pants. A capri. Not a capri. Not a capri. Well, educate me. What's the difference between a capri and a short pants a capri

Educate me what's the difference between the Capri is generally like it's higher higher goes to like right below the knee and these are more like Show a little ankle show a little ankle, but also not Narrow in any way. Okay. Yeah, because Capris are pretty There they leave nothing to the imagination Because capris are pretty. They're... Oh, they leave nothing to the imagination. Capri, either sex can pull them off or is it only, is it strictly a woman's wear? I sort of regret I made fun of my friend for wearing white capri pants.

A woman? A man. A man. Oh, well. And I felt bad because like good for him for... Yeah, innovating. Do you think that's good for him? Well, no, I'm...

Like realistically. I feel bad about myself that I'm like, oh boy, I'm the guy who can't just let it go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, and I do get that. I would let it go now. Do you? Do you?

Well, you see, okay, you see your good friend. Is it a good friend? I have no good friends. They're all bad. It's a bad friend and he's wearing white capri pants. You have to, you're legally obliged to comment on that. You know what I say to that? What?

Hey, my man. Long time no see. Bring it in. Have you ever experimented with a look and then like got kind of razed for it? Have I experimented? Oh yeah, I used to wear little scarves around my neck. I wish that was like more acceptable. I did it constantly and everyone kept calling me a flight attendant so then eventually I

had to stop. Ouch. Yeah, it's when they nail it. Yeah, yeah. And I had a little like Parisian bob too. Wow. Like I think I was going for like an Amelie sort of thing. Yeah, were you eccentric?

I was trying to be eccentric. I was like living in London and I was like, I am this, you know, cool, crawling with a star. How long did you live in London? Four years. Really? What ages? What ages? 21, did I move there? I moved there when I was 24, what is that? Okay. Yeah. live in London. Four years. Really? What ages? What ages?

When did I move there? I moved there when I was 24. What is that? Okay. Did you come back with a bit of an accent? I did, yeah. And I still say things wrong. Oh yeah, like what? Like I'll inflect at the end of my sentences

and people will just rail on me for that. And I say bin, but I think that's a better word than garbage. Yeah, bin's good. But like tell me, I can't imagine the sentence structure. Like I'll say like, do you not? Oh yeah. Do you say in it?

I say in it all the time. I also say guv now. Well, there you go, those are the free phrases. Those are the only ones. What did you do? Are there in school? No, so I was in South Korea before that, teaching English, and I didn't wanna come home yet.

And so I went there, so I used to work at the Royal BC Museum, shout out Wooly Mammoth. Okay. Check it out, everyone. It's a good guy. That's in Victoria? In Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

Right. So I worked there for a while, so then when I moved to London, I got a job at the Natural History Museum. Oh, nice. So I worked there for a while. So then when I moved to London, I got a job at the Natural History Museum. Oh, nice. And I was there and then- What did they have? Do they have a mammoth?

They have no mammoths. They have an animatronic T-Rex, though. Oh, that is good. Okay, but in England, it's a T-Rex. It's a T-Rex. And it's like pouring, it's got a little hand pouring. The one little hand is like a teapot and the other is like a lump of sugar.

Yeah. Oh. It's a T-Rex. A T-Rex. Were you a tour guide or? I was a visitor engagement assistant. Now, do they, instead of aluminum, they go aluminum. Aluminium. What do they do for tyrannosaurus?

Tyrannosaurus. There it is. Yeah, that's what it is, I think. Where did you grow up? I grew up in Brentwood Bay, on the island. Near Victoria. Yeah, Vancouver Island. And you, I gathered from reading, there was an interview with you and the Vancouver Guardian.

Oh, yeah. That you grew up without no TV, no internet. No TV, no internet, just energy. Yeah, just like, yeah, maybe that's why. Just vibes. That was all the entertainment I needed. Yeah, go fight a like, yeah. Maybe that's why. Just vibes. That was all the entertainment I needed. Yeah, go fight a neighbor, kid. Go get a new wall.

Here's a chain. Did you crave television and internet? No, I really liked being the girl who read books. I really thought I was better than everyone else. What is your, you were the like perfect age for Harry Potter. Yes. Were you into that? I was into it, but again,

because I wanted to be better than everyone else. I was like, well, yeah, like I really like Harry Potter, but like everyone really likes Harry Potter. I was into the babysitter's club. Sure. And I thought that was super cool. Now, oh, you know what? Boy, I'm trying to think of who you would be in the babysitter's club. And I thought that was super cool. Now, oh, you know what? Boy, I'm trying to think of who you would be

in the babysitter's club. Oh, you're Dawn. Am I? Aren't you? You think I'm Dawn? Dawn, isn't she one of the, like a little bit, she seems like the one who wouldn't have TV and internet. I mean, yes, but Dawn is also like California casual. Do you have siblings?

Siblings? Did you just learn that word? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to do it not British. I'm trying to overcorrect. Do you have siblings? Did you have siblings? Yeah, I have one brother.

I have one brother. Still do. He's still with us. Yeah, I have one brother. He's older. He's a prison guard. Really? Shit.

Okay. Well, yeah, you're Claudia Kishy there. Yeah. I'm Claudia Kishy. I'm a prison have one brother, he's older, he's a prison guard. Okay. Really? Yeah. Shit. Okay, well yeah, you're Claudia Kishy then. Thank you. Every one of them's a compliment.

Every one of them is a compliment, except Mallory. Mallory is- Which I thought you were gonna go Mallory, cause she's the one with glasses. Oh, right, and she's just sort of like an adjunct member, isn't she? She's an adjunct member, you know so much about the Baby Sons Club. Yeah, how do you know all this? So, okay, who's, the main one is Christie.

Yeah, yeah, well, she's the president. And she founded it. Yeah, she did. Christie's great idea, book one. Yeah. Yeah. And then who's the one from New York who's got the secret diabetes?

It's not a secret. Stacey, and also the book is called Stacey's Secret. You know so much. But you already knew she had diabetes. You already knew. From Sarah's secret diabetes. She truly will not stop talking about the diabetes. Yeah. Well, she's got to go to a special doctor in New York. But is it really necessary? Can't she just deal with this?

I think they have doctors in Connecticut. Yeah, right? She from Connecticut? She's from New York. Oh, that's great. But the Baby Zippers Club is in Connecticut. Yeah, right. She from Connecticut? She's from New York. Oh, yeah, but the Babies in the Clubs is in Connecticut. Is in Donniebrook, Connecticut. Is this, did you read these to your daughter or do they read it and relay this info?

This is just energy. I'm just picking up the vibes. Yeah, no, they came out with a- The graphic novels. A graphic, the series of graphic novels. They were first by, the first few were by the great Reina Telgemeier. And did you read graphic novel or these were straight up books? No, these were the straight up books.

Okay. Yeah, and they were not, I think the Baby Such as Club books were sort of like the generation before me, but so that generation was giving them to the thrift stores. Right. So I would just go to the thrift stores to get them. And so, yeah, I have hundreds of them. Did you run with like a weird crew?

I didn't really have friends. Oh, well, I don't need friends. We can be your friends now. I have friends now, you guys. I don't need friends, I got Stacey and Dawn. Exactly. My best friends. Did you see the, they made a TV show of it?

Of the babysitter's plug? Oh did they? I didn't know that. No. They shot it. No, she doesn't have to. They shot it in Vancouver. It's on Netflix.

Oh yeah, no I did hear about that. Past guest, Caitlin Howden is in a couple episodes as Mallory's mother. That's so cool. Because of all the redheaded, the whole redheaded family. Yeah, of family. Yeah. Man, do you guys really know your stuff? Alicia Silverstone is the mother of... I did hear that too.

Kristy. Kristy, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is great. Nobody's ever known anything about the Baby-Sitter Club. So this is already the best. Well, they're pretty obscure books. They're really obscure and actually nobody knows about them.

We tried to get, so my one daughter really likes them. My other daughter got into the babysitter's little sister. And those are garbage. Trash books. We saw, oh, the new one, then there are graphic novels as well. Oh, the new one comes out, Karen's Haircut, okay.

Gonna be a three page book. Yeah. Did you get into the Sweet Valley Twins? I did. Well, Sweet Valley High. Sure. Yeah. And then I also was really, there were all of these crazy like 80s teen romance books in the thrift stores at the time as well. So I got really into those. Right.

And then I also got really into these books. Do you know the author Lurleen McDaniel? Great name. Okay. So she has this series, so many books, and every single book is a different teen that has some sort of mysterious illness and then they die at the end of the book. Every one? Every single one is a different illness and the teen dies.

They're messed up. Were they made up illnesses or they- No, like real ones, but like, I want to remember was a girl who couldn't be out in the sun because her body would burn up. Right. But then she fell in love with this boy. Who's a surfer.

Who's a surfer. Yeah. Could she go in a tanning bed? No, she can't do anything. Any UV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she went surfing with? No, she can't do anything. Any UV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. And she went surfing with the guy, burnt into a crescent.

It just exploded into dust. It was really romantic. It was Jonah Hill. Yeah, it was Jonah Hill. He was like, you better not be surfing. Don't even look at that guy. Yeah. Are you still a book lover?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does your neighborhood have a lot of those little libraries? Little free libraries. Yeah, I love them. They say little free libraries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, does your neighborhood have a lot of those like little libraries? Little free libraries, yeah, I love them.

They say little free libraries, all libraries are free. Yeah, I know lots of little libraries out there. I deeply agree with you on that. Yeah. And that was something I got really mad, I'm not mad, but I would be like, you know, every library is free, but now I've conformed. Yeah, I know.

And it's a calmer way to be. You're right. You... Nice capris. Do you hang out at the library or do you just swoop in, take your books and hang off? We're talking about the little guy. No, you hang out by the tree. Yeah, I hang out by the tree.

Do you climb on it? Talking to squirrels. Actually, one of the energy things is that I can actually shrink down to the size of a squirrel. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hang out with them. Okay, do it right now. Okay. Whoa!

Holy shit! Okay, come back, come back. That was heavy. That was heavy. Yeah, yeah. Do you like those? Do you like those? Do you know how to read?

Because we have a bunch of them. Do you like those? Do you like those? Do you know how to read? Because we have a bunch in this neighborhood and it's very rare that I see something that grabs my attention. It's a lot of like- A lot of Pattersons. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of Clive Cussler, a lot of wrestling autobiographies.

And we got rid of our- Oh, I should see if there's wrestling autobiographies. And we got rid of our... Oh, I should see if there's wrestling autobiographies in one of these. Oh, I remember telling you that I judged one of them. I was like, oh, the people in this. I always judged the house. I'm like, this is- Who are these people? Yeah, who are these people?

But of course it's not them putting up the books. But I was like, these people are addicted to wrestling biographies. I mean, and that's, you wanna talk about a book that ends the same way, all of them end up bad. Like across the board, there's no, I mean, even Hulk Hogan that survived this long still not good. Not a-

Is he unwell? He's unwell in the head and elsewhere. And elsewhere. Yeah. You can guess where. Mm-hmm. Yeah, is like, what, like how many books a month? Oh, I'm-

Sally goes through like three a month. That's the thing, I'm not as much of a reader as I once was. Like as soon as I got access to the internet, my attention span disappeared. Yeah. Which was a weird thing to recognize happening cause I was 19.

So I was like, you know. No internet till 19. Yeah. I mean, like I went to the library, the public library and I signed up for Facebook there and my parents didn't know. And it was like. And he couldn't read your energy.

You did something out there. And that's why I always was like, I'm doing stuff and you can't feel any of it. Did you have friends that were no internet TV or were you the only one? I was the only one. And actually my best friend growing up, we had a YouTube channel together.

Okay. And I had no access to it. So I don't know what's going on. Yeah, I wonder, I wonder what would be different if I grew up without those things. My attendance span is shot to hell. But is that because of the internet or TV? Probably both, right? I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, when was the last time I just sat down and read a book? Is that because of the internet or TV? Probably both, right? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah, when was the last time I just sat down and read a book? Right? Yeah. I start a lot of them.

I start a lot of books. Yeah, I try. I really try, but then I find that if I go to a cafe to read, I get into this thing where it's like less about reading and it's more about, I wonder if a cute boy is gonna notice me reading. And immediately be turned off by it. I remember in junior high, like English class once a week would just be like reading time.

Yeah, reading time. And so my dad had a copy of Lord of the Rings. It was all three books and it was basically like a phone book. I used to bring it in because I thought it was really funny to have a giant book. That is really cool. I never finished it. Did you read it or were you just like looking at the pages? Yeah, I mean, isn't that reading?

Yeah. Did you read it or were you just looking at the words? So you're hoping a cute boy will see you reading. Where are the cute boys these days? So I've been meeting a lot of them. Okay. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I met one. Oh I've been meeting a lot of them. Okay. Nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I met one, oh, I went to a concert by myself. Where'd you go to? It was a part of Juno's Fest. It was this girl, Sam Lynch. She's a little Vancouver artist. I actually went to theater school with her and she's very, very talented. Sounds great.

She's, I mean that name, are you kidding? Sam Lynch. Sam Lynch, ooh. Yeah. Todd. Lerlene Lynch. Todd. That you kidding? Sam Lynch? Sam Lynch? Oh, yeah. Todd. That's a way to describe names, right? Yeah, that's a Todd name. Not an ounce of fat on that name. You can't pinch an inch. Oh, anyway, I went to that by myself and I ended up. You can't pinch an inch on Sam Lynch. You can't pinch an inch on Sam Lynch. And what is she like, what type of music? She's like a folksy sort of woman, singer. Sort of a Colby Kaye kind of.

Sort of a Colby Kaye, if you will. Her and her toes that kiss. Those bubbly bubbly toes. You're thinking of Jack Johnson. Look, I'm always kind of thinking about Jack Johnson. Yeah, where you met somebody at this concert? Yeah. Yeah, it was at ANZA and I just like chatted with the man. Yeah.

I ended up just hanging out with him and going to other different Juno's Fest concerts. Really? Yeah. That's great. And then never saw each other again? No, we went on a date a couple of weeks ago. We're going on another date tomorrow.

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah, what a meet-cute. But I'm going on dates. You're dating all at once. I'm going on dates like you you're dating. I'm going on dates Yeah, you got what's the what's the go-to for first date? Like where do I go? Yeah? Oh, I go to the same place every single time Smart I go to the downstairs bit of the Anza Club. Hmm. Oh, yeah. Okay. This is where you met the guy No, but I met him at the upstairs. Okay. Yeah, right. Yeah, but I the little pub the little pub. I take them there what is Like got another one?

Yeah, hooked another guy. I like it though, because I like the idea that one day I show up and they're all there on different dates. Oh, this place is perfect. Yeah, they've got a Facebook group. You wouldn't know if you don't have the internet, but. Still.

Yeah, it's a, that is nice. It's fun. It's fun to get out there, you know? Yeah. To go on dates. To go on dates. Yeah. It's fun to talk to a stranger.

I enjoy it. That's what I'm doing right now. Exactly. Are you enjoying it? I love it. Good. Let's go to the end. Would you be honest if you weren't?

That's a good question. No, you're right, I wouldn't be. Yeah. But I also, I don't have a face that really can betray my feelings. Like I, well, that's not true. I often look like I'm having a bad time, even when I'm having a good time.

But if I look like I'm having a good time, then it's pretty genuine. Okay, that's good. That's good. Do I look like I'm having a good time? Now you used to genuine. Okay, that's good. That's good. Do I look like I'm having a good time? Now you used to host a podcast. Yes. With Nikki Mordor and Amy.

Mordor. Sorry, I was stuck on Lord of the Rings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Amy, I wanna say Frodo. It's actually Gollum. And it was called Soft for Us. Yes.

And this is the kind of stuff you talked about, boys? Yeah, just boys. It was all just boys. But you decided to end it. Yes, we did. Because you had a huge falling out is what you were saying. Huge falling out.

Yeah, actually Amy doesn't have any more toes. Oh, shit. As a result. Yeah. Your dad taught you well. Yeah, thank you. Sort of Kovika-ya? No, we just all got way too busy with stand-up comedy, Yeah. Your dad taught you well. Yeah, thank you. Sort of Kovik at you.

No, we just all got way too busy with stand-up comedy, which was kind of the whole thing, you know, doing the podcast. Were you, like, how long have you been doing stand-up for? I've been doing stand-up for four, three and a half years, four years. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always in Vancouver? Always in Vancouver.

Cool. Yeah. What about the other two? Amy's been doing it longer because she started in Ireland. Right. Ireland. Ireland. Har. Oh, I thought of a good joke.

Okay, here we go. Please, please. What's a pirate's favorite medical drama? Really good. Sorry, say it though. ER. Nice. House.

Yeah, the pit. Oh, the pit. You watching. Nice. House. Yeah, the pit. Oh, the pit. You watching the pit? Oh, I watched the pit. And? Oh yeah. Come on, have you seen it? No.

Oh, you gotta. It's apparently... Is it like a rip off of ER? They were trying to bring back ER and then they're like, oh, we don't have to actually pay for ER. We can just get the guy from ER. He's got a beard now. And then the Crichton estate're like, well, we don't have to actually pay for ER. We can just get the guy from ER. He's got a beard now.

And then the Crichton estate are like, uh, uh, uh, we heard you were shopping around at ER. And it's good. It's fantastic. Does it take place over like one day? One day, every episode is a different hour. Oh, of the same, okay. Of the same day.

And it's Dr. Jack Bauer. He does a lot of electrocuting. I forgot about that. Yeah, he would always be electrocuting somebody. Did you ever watch 24? No. It was over a 24-hour period as well. So, yeah.

And there was a guy who tortured people to get what he wanted, the lead character. He was an anti-terrorist. He was for Southern? He was for Southernterrorist. He was Jack Bauer. Right. Didn't they try to bring that back? Yeah, I think so. Another 48 hours. Another, and then was he like the designated survivor?

Oh, he was. Yeah. Right, yeah. He's also- He's a vampire at one point. Yeah, he dated, he was left at the altar by Julia Roberts. Yeah, and he wanted to get to that dead life. Yeah, he dated, he was left at the altar by Julia Roberts. Yeah, and he- And what?

Wanted to get to that dead life. In real life. Oh, really? Well, I don't know if it was right at the altar, but it was like they were- He was jilted. He was jilted. He was within days of getting married.

Wow. Wow. She was sort of a pretty woman. But in the end, it turned out she was a runaway bride. Do you know anybody that like almost got married and then it fell apart at the last second? No, I know very few people who are married. Oh, well, la-dee-dah. Everyone's just out there at the Anza Club, you know? Yeah, I know somebody who got engaged and then six months later or whatever,

five months later, kibbutz. How close were they to the wedding? That's a good question, but like months away, not like a year from now. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, she, she, uh, pissed out pretty fast, which is weird. Why did she accept the proposal? I don't know, because the people had their cameras pointed at her. Yeah, it was at a football game or something.

Did she know when she said yes that she really wanted to say no? That's, I will never know. You'll never know? No, because I was only friends with him. Oh. Yeah. How's he? Yeah. Does he listen? No. Okay. Do I know him? That's probably why she didn't want to be with him. Oh, sure. Yeah. We have we've broken up a lot of

relationships that way. Yeah. But that's the only one I know where it was like almost jilted. Yeah. Probably. Maybe the invitations had been sent out. That's when you want, that's if that's do or die time before invitations go out. If you're deciding that you want out. Yeah. That's when. Do you think it would be, so. Can you do it after the save the date,

but before the actual invitations? Yes. I'm gonna rule yes. What if you get to the wedding and you're like, oh, like you can't be with this person anymore. Right. Don't you think it's better to just leave as opposed to wait for like a few months afterwards

and then divorce them? No, I think you should get married and spend 18 to 20 years together. Okay, yeah, and that's fair. No, that's good advice. If you send out a save the date, which I never understood why, like just send the invite.

Just send the invite. It's just another cute thing to do. It's just a thing like, hey, we're getting married. It's gonna be on this day. We haven't decided if it's gonna be chicken or fish yet. So just wait until we send the official. But like if you send the save the dates,

then you break up. Do you have to send out like, hey, forget the dates? Forget the dates. Never mind. Did you, did either of you do a good proposal? Like an interesting? No. No. No.

No? No. Neither. No. Did you propose? Yeah. Okay. But very casually. Cool.

Because Sally and I were going to Las Vegas and I was basically like, hey, if we're going to go to Vegas, might as well get hitched to Vegas. That's really fun. Yeah, it was really fun. Can't recommend it enough. Yeah, that's awesome. And I was, we had been together for 10 years, 11 years, and we just knew we were going to get married

at in the future. And my wife, we had even met the ringmaker. Like she knew I was getting an engagement ring made. And then... Yeah, what size is your finger? Not for what you're thinking. It's for butt stuff. Yep, just right.

Actually, I don't even need the ring size. I need the length. And then I think we had even like, she and her mother had booked a venue. Oh, wow. Oh, smart. And then the ring arrived and I was like, here's the ring.

Yeah, wow. My in-laws, they married, I think when they were 20. Yeah, which is, imagine making a decision like that. Yeah, very much so. So my in-laws, they married I think when they were 20. Yeah, which is, imagine making a decision like that. Yeah, very much so. How long have they been together? Like, oh, how long before? I think not very long.

Cause Abby and I have been together since we were 19. Yeah, that's sweet. That's really cute. You know where we met? Where? Upstairs at the end. Wow. Was Sam Lynch playing? Yeah. Well, no, it was someone with a really flabby name.

Bubba something. Yeah, Bubba Demodopoulos. Was the concert good? It was fantastic. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was the... You know what?

Are you going to badmouth Sam Lynch? Yeah, you can't badmouth. On Main? Oh, and then we went to a different concert at the Cobalt and we saw a band called Mock Media, which I'd never heard of before. They were great. They all took their shirts off.

Oh, good. They were rock and roll. Really? No. The biggest nipples in rock. Biggest nipples in rock. Who has the biggest nipples in rock? Great question.

I think it's gotta be. Milo? Post Malone. Yeah, Milo probably had a pretty big pair. Who has the biggest nipples in rock? Great question. I think it's gotta be... Milo? Post Malone. Yeah, Milo probably had a pretty big pair. Jelly Roll, you gotta assume Jelly Roll. I'm guessing probably... None of the Chili Peppers, that's for sure.

No, and not Slash. Yeah. I heard a horror story about Slash losing a nipple ring in the crowd. Oh, what, like crowd surfing? Yeah. That doesn't seem like his vibe. Yeah. Yeah. What's this one with Slash go crowd surfing? They'd steal that hat.

They'd steal that hat would fall off so fast. Apparently that hat he stole from a shop and that's how it became his signature look, but he was also kick-copping guy from T-Rex. Oh, okay. He wore a top hat. Mark Bolan? Mark Bolan. Mark Bolan, yeah. Top hats, like I only know those two guys that pull it off.

And like, would you, if you met somebody in a top hat? Are they? I know a few people who pull it off. Really? Casual top hat wearing? Yeah, fricking Johnny Depp as the mad hatter. Fricking Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. Fricking Tim Chalamet as Willy Wonka.

Tim Chalamet. Yeah, fricking Gene Wilder. What's the difference between a top hat and a stovepipe? I think it's height. I think stovepipe is like the tallest at the top. Okay, well, but it is a top hat. And that's Lincoln. And fricking Abe Lincoln.

And Lincoln, did he wear that every day or did we just know that one? Well, there's a photo of him with a photo. A one drawing. Did they have photos? He wore, they might've had photos. Yeah, there's photos of him, words and all. Not great quality.

Yeah, sure, and that's fine. Yeah, but yeah, photos. He did the whole book about sex. It was like Madonna. It was just lewd photos. Did you know that? Have you ever heard that book? Sex by Madonna? Sex by Madonna? No. It was one in the library. Man, oh man, every kid.

Whoa. Madonna released a book of, this was like early 90s, before you were born. Before you were born, yeah. And it was, she was, you know, this was post-vogue around her erotica era. And she was, at the time was, no, this was before Dennis Rodman, I think. But she just did a bunch of like naked pictures of her. I think there's some sex like having in it. I haven't seen the book.

But it has a lot of faces in it. I think I have a PDF of it maybe. And then like her musings on. Yeah, it was a huge coffee table book. Like it was. So like table book. Like, it was... So like penetrative sex? I mean... I don't know if you see it go in.

Yeah, it's a flip book at the end. It's a flip book. And then it's just her on a scooter. She rides a bike naked in it. Yeah? Yeah. Well, good for her. Yeah, good for her.

Yeah, honestly. She should get more respect for that. She was in the league of her own. Yeah. Nice. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, I don't know. My life is so boring.

Well, I mean, we're all going to pale in comparison to Danielle, the quirkiest gal that ever did leave. That's me, Don Schaeffer over here. Does Don have a sibling? Don has a brother named Jeffrey. Why do I know this? Well, because you read all the books. Yeah, I read all the books. And also, in the, I don't know if the books are this way, but the first like 20 pages

of every graphic novel is a recap of here's everyone from the babysitter's club and here's what's their deal. Yeah. Anyway, what's going on? You've been reading? I actually haven't read them in a while. Sweet Valley High, babysitter's club. Yeah, what are we trying to get my daughter into? American Girl, isn't that one of them?

Maybe that's a doll. They have books? The odd. Maybe, I don't know, now I'm out of my depth here. I don't know the answers'm out of my depth here. I don't know the answers to any of these questions. Yeah. I mean, Harriet the Spy.

I don't know if there were volumes of that or if there was just the one. I think there's just the one. Yeah. She said everything she was going to say in that one book. John Cullen one time said to me that I look like I read Harriet the Spy exclusively as a child. Okay. Which felt sort of like an insult,

but also a compliment at the same time. Yeah. And you were like, not exclusively. Not exclusively. Just one volume. I, here's just, this is not a thing that really happened to me, but it did, but it's not worth talking about for more than,

I'll give us two minutes. Okay, okay okay I got an email this morning from it starts out good from the place where I service my car the car dealership that services my car confirming my appointment for 7 a.m. on Easter Sunday. Oh my gosh. The only time we could get you in. And I hadn't requested an appointment at all. I. Oh, but that's how they. You hadn't requested an appointment. No.

They just made an appointment for you. They made an appointment. Hey, here's the confirming your appointment for seven o'clock on Sunday. And there's no way out of this? Yeah. I mean, I wrote them back immediately saying, ah, ah, no, no, it doesn't work that way.

That is smart. Like if a dentist sent me a thing saying, yep, we got you on Friday, I'd be like, I guess they did make that appointment. I did that with my dentist. My dentist, they all do that sneaky move where they're like, we're gonna get you to come in every four months.

Yeah, four months. And I say yes, and then call them later and say, no, no. Yeah, I had a dentist for a while that was like, positive I needed a crown, and kept calling, calling, emailing, get that crown done. And then last time I went to the dentist, the guy was like, you don't need a crown. They were scamming me.

I love how there's always a cool dentist. He was like, no, no, no, those other don't need to cry. They were, you know, scamming me. I love how there's always like a cool dentist. He was like, no, no, no, those other guys were lying to you. Yeah, but he also might suck as a dentist. He's like, I don't know. Have you seen that dentist that seems like it's the cool dentist? I believe it's called House of Teeth. House of Teeth, yeah.

And their logo, they just have a giant skull on the wall. It's like, it could be a tattoo parlor. They can do both. Yeah. And you have to get grills. They do their dental hygiene appointment and then you actually have to have as a part of it. I think it might actually be a grill place.

Yeah, I think it might just be a grill place. Yeah. Delicious. One of my daughters, the dentist actually says she needs grills. Good news and Good news. Once your baby teeth come out, you're going to need grills. Okay, so that's one thing. Also the other day I waved at Graham and Alicia while driving down the street.

I opened my window and I knew they were making some sort of sound. I was saying, Hey, and I was waving and I was going past too fast. I went, hey, hey, hey, hey. And then I got a little bit of eye contact and I had to tell you later, hey, did you see me? Yeah. Oh, that was you. Yeah, I think we clocked that it was probably you,

but yeah, what did I get at the store that day? Which show did you go to? Choices? Choices? Choices. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I've never done that in a car before.

Like I don't have a car, like a lot of time in a car, but I don't think I've ever honked at somebody that I knew on the street. I just. Oh, I mean, it was too many. I didn't honk. I rolled my window down. Yeah, you honk exclusively, Reverend Funk.

Reverend Funk. I can't explain what that is. It's okay. You don't know? Well, because you didn't have TV. I don't have TV. I don't get most references. Is that right?

Oh yeah, that is right. What's the most popular thing that you're like, I don't know what that is? The most popular? Well, just any of the internet things. Like I've never seen Two Girls, One Cup. That is probably. And I think I'm missing out. Well, for me it's-

That's my homepage. The Marvel cinematic universe is the thing I don't know anything about. But I guess that's probably, yeah, as popular as Two Girls, One Cup. No, I think Two Girls, One Cup is more popular. Oh, sure. For sure. So you never knew Lemon Party.

I don't even know what that is now. It's- You don't know Goat Sea. You don't know all the weird early internet, like sabotage porn, where they send you to a website that you're not expecting. That's right, and then yeah, pop up a thousand porn, a thousand porn.

A thousand porn, the name of your next album. Yeah, pop up a thousand porn, uh, a thousand porn. The name of your next album. Um, yeah, I need a name. So, and then I got to record an album. Yeah, sure. But first, to write some new material. Uh, you going to record an album? Oh, not anytime soon. No, no, I've only been doing comedy for four years. But you know that there's people who have only done it for four years that have an album. Oh yeah. True album. know that there's people who have only done it for four years that have an album. Oh yeah. True albums.

I have a healthy dose of skepticism about myself. Okay. So I think it'll take me another five to seven. Yeah, that's healthy. That is right. And how much time do you think you have now that would be solid? That would be solid? I mean, that's such a question.

Well, it's like, I always, when I was starting, you'd go out on the road. Yeah. And then they would let you know. Yeah, that's true. I mean, like, I comfortably do 20. OK, strong 20? How strong is it?

I can't be sincere about my abilities. OK. So I have three. Yeah. Three, OK. I remember when I did comedy, I was. So I have three. Yeah. I remember when I did comedy, I was like, I have a strong 20 with a very nice crowd. Yeah. My kind of crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then on a Friday at a comedy club, I have three minutes. Yeah. And then, oh, sorry. I was just going to say also, like, because I think my style is so sort of loosey goosey, it's like I could do that for like 40 minutes and do really well and like 25 minutes are jokes and then the rest is just me, ah. Like noodling around.

Noodling around. But that doesn't count. That's not an album. I remember. That's smart of you. I must say, that's very smart of, you know, I remember Yeah, I have no I I've been doing comedy for four years I think that's in the world of comedy like five minutes I Mean, yeah, it was like Jerry Seinfeld had some sort of equation of what you are in human years slash comedian Yeah, yeah

He likes to think about those. Yeah got his own language, sign language. But there used to be a TV show called Comedy Now, and it was the only place you could do a special in Canada. And I knew so many comedians who were like, I got paid $3,000 to do this show. It was my material from 10 years ago. It still airs.

I'm so embarrassed of it. Wow, yeah. Yeah, I did one and it was, I mean, maybe it's good. I haven't watched it. I think yours probably holds up. It was okay. I wore a suit.

I used to wear suits. Did you? Yeah. I was thinking back to trying on an outfit and then being shot down for it. I bought at a thrift store, a beautiful green suit with a vest. And literally as I walked in the door at the Irwin Wells,

somebody says, hey, Leprechaun. I was like, well, that's the end. Oh no. That's the end of this outfit. I thought you were gonna talk about the time you went to a thrift store and tried on a suit and the guy who runs the thrift store maybe in Toronto. Oh yeah. You were like seeing how you could have the suit adjusted and he just tapped your belly. It was like ah. And the other time when I was trying on suit

jackets and it was a lovely little Chinese lady and And she rubbed my belly and said, very prosperous. That's amazing. I was like, yes, that's the best way you've been able to wear that. Prosperous for you for rubbing it or for me for having it? Did you just wish something? And then she was like, you have the biggest nipples in comedy. I mean, you can't, the only guy you can rule out is Burt Kreischer in comedy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, those are the only ones I've seen.

Not a prosperous belly on that guy though. No. No, no, no. Yeah. Not prosperous at all. It's an angry belly. It's a really angry. That reminds me though, when I was in, when I was in Korea, a friend of mine came to visit

and he had a long beard. Oh yeah. And at the time, it was 10 years ago, at the time there was no real facial hair in Korea. It was like considered dirty. Um, sorry. Um, you know what? I'm not going to Korea anytime soon. I'm dirty in Korea.

You're really dirty in Korea. Hot in Cleveland, dirty in Korea. Um, but he was standing at a bus stop by himself and, uh, and this man from across the street, uh, walked up to him, plucked out a single one of his beard hairs and then blew it into the wind and then walked away. Wow. Wow. Incredible. I'd let somebody do that.

Right? You have to at that point. Boink. That could be a cartoon pulling it out. Boink. That would be great. And then you see like the hair's journey. Oh yeah. It's like the feather in Forrest Gump. Yeah, it's exactly like that. Yeah, it's like like that.

You've read the book. Yeah. I've read the book. Do you know Forrest Gump? I know Forrest Gump. I've seen Forrest Gump. Okay. Did you read the book of it?

I read the book. I read the novelization. I actually wrote the novelization. You're Winston Groom? Yeah, I am. Yeah. My nom de plume. I think it was written before. It was written before. Oh, was it?

Oh, I didn't know that. And then there was a sequel. No way. He wrote a sequel. Gump again. Forrest Gump II, I think. Gump harder. Gump harder, yeah.

And it's, yeah, those are like, I think for many years, all I read were books that I also saw the movie of. Oh, yeah, well, got to read Jurassic Park. Yeah, got to read GoldenEye. That's fun though. Like, I would do this thing on the... So, when I lived in London, I was coming back and forth, I would, on the plane, read a book and then immediately afterwards watch the

movie. Oh, fun. And that's the best way to do a flight, in my opinion. Oh, on the movie? On the flight. Wow. Fast reader. So, I did The Martian once and that was sick. Which was better? The book or the movie? Yeah. flight. Wow. Fast reader. I did the Martian once and that was sick.

Which was better? The book or the movie? Yeah. Honestly, pretty equal to me. Really? And that never happens. What, like I was gonna say, is there ever a movie that's better than the book,

in your opinion? Probably. Probably there is. People say Fight Club. Yeah, I could see that. Yeah. What about Jurassic Park? Jurassic Park, the book is really good.

Yeah, I've never read it. Yeah. But the movie is- The movie's so good. It is very good. Yeah, it's a good book is really good. Yeah, I've never read it. But the movie is so good. The movie is so good. It is very good. Yeah, it's a good book, good movie. Congo, maybe not as much. Maybe Congo, the book is good. Another of his series.

Sphere. Sphere. Disclosure. Oh yeah, that was a real departure for him. You didn't ever read Disclosure? No. It was, it's about a woman that's sexually harassing a man in her employ.

Wow, good for her. Yeah, yeah, Demi Moore was in the movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so there you go. That's something to, you could read that and then watch that movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, great. Next up, I think it's like-

Rising Sun, was that a Crayton? And like Wesley Snipes was in the movie? Wesley Snipes and Sean Connery. The perfect duo. Crayton ruled. Yeah, he did. It was him and Grisha. He'll probably be in one of those little libraries.

Right, Michael Crayton? Oh yeah. I mean, I don't know, people hold onto those books. They're gonna be worth something someday. Yeah, that's true. This copy of Westworld. Oh, have you ever owned a book that's worth something? Like, oh, this is a first edition

or this is only published so many or whatever. Potentially. I do have a book that's called Cats in the News. Okay. It's a first edition. It's signed by the author. Okay. And it's just this reporter from the UK and it's just a book about his love of cats. So on the picture is just him holding a cat and then it's signed and it says,

it says, dear Juan pause for thought this Christmas. Nice. Incredible, so that's probably worth something. That's gotta be worth something. That's gotta be worth something. Yeah, I bought, it was like a book of letters by Hunter S. Thompson and it was expensive when I bought it and then I lost it.

Oh no. So it's out there somewhere. There are like, I read the letters by Hunter S. Thompson, and it was expensive when I bought it, and then I lost it. Oh no. So it's out there somewhere. Devastating. There are like, yeah, books, not like first editions in that sense of like leather bound, whatever, but just like books by someone who then became famous and they're like, they're out of print,

and they're like 400 bucks on eBay. You think this is the case with this guy? I think that's the one. Okay. I know, it's funny, like when I was a kid, an autograph seemed so rare. Yeah. Yeah. And now, like, I know people who write books.

And whenever they're in a new city, they just go to a bookstore and say, hey, do you want me to sign any copies of these books? Yeah. And they'll just give them a stamp. They don't even check your ID. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. To what you need. Yeah. To what you're named. Anyway, I waved to Graham, what's going on with you? Well, I was waved at by a mysterious stranger. I also wrote that popsicle stick joke. Which? The ER joke. Oh, the ER joke.

That's good. That was good. Yeah, that was a big week. Um, I was the victim of fraud. Oh my God. Yeah, of the credit card variety. Oh no. Oh, I've been that. But this was so slick.

Like, if I hadn't been looking at my computer when it happened, they would have run completely ragged. Like they would have gone to the moon and back. But I just got it, it was Uber, sent me a message, somebody's logging into your account, is this you? And I was like, no, I don't think so. And then it says the login was Airdrie, Alberta. So I was like, well, that's definitely not me.

Might be. Yeah, and then I was like, yeah, let me do a couple of tests here. Oh, and then I was like, yeah, let me do a couple of tests too. Oh, you know what I did? I used Uber Eats to order some ribs from Alberta. And so I was like, oh no, so it just said, you know, sign in here. And they had blocked me out. It was like, they're like, now that you have two-step verification, I didn't know the two

steps. Oh no. So they had completely locked me out. So someone had gone into your account and added a second step. Wow. Oh, smart. Yeah, it was really smart and it was really fast.

By the time I called the bank, they had racked up 600 odd dollars in Uber. I don't know how that works. Is it's not like, give me. Yeah. There's something though that they figured out. We had one a few months ago, Abby and I share a credit card account and hers,

someone was using hers to buy Facebook ads. Weird. Whoa. And we called and they're like, oh yeah, this is quite common. It's common? Yeah. And it was like $3, $7, $108, $94.

And the location of the sign-in also jumped because it was AirDrey and then it was London, England. So somehow this was just getting put through some kind of crazy network. And credit card people, very helpful. Uber, not impossible to get. There's nobody you can talk to, no no number the number I found is only for drivers Mm-hmm, and they have like an email form that you have to fill and I'm like, but that's not quick enough to help me now

Yeah, and they you know after the fact we're like, yeah, we went in and redid your account. I was like Oh, huh. Where are you five hours ago? So yeah, if you got a problem with Uber, you're screwed. Yeah, I've found that like, they can shut your credit card down right away. Like if you go to your bank website. Yeah. And yeah, the person was really, really friendful.

Friendful? Fearful? Friendly. I like friendful. Yeah. Do you need English lessons from a ESL teacher? Yeah, so they were very helpful. They shut it down. And then, because I've only seen it in movies, I've never done it before.

I cut up the credit card. Yeah. That's good. Cut up the credit card, threw it in the garbage, then. Oh, I've done it before and I cut it up and I throw it in separate garbages. Oh, just in case. I'm also worried that like now that you can use

your credit card to tap and buy something, which of these little squares I just cut up is a tap as. Oh, I cut the little gold guy. Yeah, the little guy. The little gold, isn't the gold guy the chip from the chip and pin? Is the tap is different than the chip and pin. Oh.

Oh. Maybe, yeah. That's a good point. Cause the tap is like where there's a little signal looking thing, right? Yeah, which is on the other end from the chip. Yeah, but also is it, or is it a bigger area? I don't know.

I did see somebody on the internet once, I have the internet now. Congratulations. Thank you. I did see somebody on the internet cut up a credit card and then they had the little chip and then the wire and then they were just using that instead of all the plastic.

They just wanted to see if they could and they could. God, the internet's got so much stuff on it. Yeah, it's got so much stuff. So I did that, cut it up, threw it away, and then I saw on my account a delayed purchase that they had made for like $87. I was like, uh-oh, into the garbage I go to get all the pieces of my credit card

because I didn't have the number. I don't know my credit card number. I had to go into the garbage, pull that. Do you think this has anything to do with the time we read our credit card numbers on the show? No. I didn't give them the three number pin or whatever verification pin. That's so cool.

Yeah, I had to rummage through the garbage. I found them all. I found all the pieces. I remember, because they used to be like very much, hey, when you put your code in to your credit card, you kind of cover it with your hands. I still do that. But if you could just tap it, then like, if someone steals your credit card, they don't need the code anymore.

Yeah, and remember John Buehler, comedian John Buehler had a great bit about people being held at gunpoint and like take the maximum amount of your account and him being like, sure, $200, it's not working, let's go lower and then it's an hour. Let's see if it has $7. But yeah, so it was like, I don't think I've ever, maybe I've had it once before with a credit card fraud, but not that slick and not that fast. I had, yeah, I had someone had,

I used to have the same password for every website. Yeah, I think I probably do. Yeah, and then I got a, and then, so I couldn't isolate where they had stolen my credit card from. And so I had to, now I have an app that gives me random passwords that I don't know the password to any website. Yeah, it's smart. It's a smart way to do it.

It's password. One, two, three, exclamation point. DaveRules69420. Yeah, but now I have all these things that are tethered to the credit card that are all, I have to do that all over again I'm gonna start with a new card. Mmm plug it into eBay You know someone apparently

Hacked my car service again But yeah, I was frauded. I got frauded and not even in a fun, you know, I fell for a scam. Yeah. Honeypot. Yeah, exactly. But Graham, you can't, no one can pretend to be you. You're one of a kind.

Oh, thank you. This Korean guy one time pulled one of my whiskers off and said, there was only one like you. Do you find now that you no longer live in Korea, you still go around pulling people's beard? Oh, all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I said it was a guy.

It was actually me. Yeah. We get down. We get down. Well, do you guys want to move on to some over herds? I'd love to. If you like too many podcasts, you'll love Soundteap with John Luke Roberts. It's got clips from all your favorite podcasts such as Diary of a Tiny CEO,

Leonard Sprague, tell me how you make your money. I go to the beach and I steal people's towels. Rememberama. Remember the trend of everyone whacking themselves on the head with hammers and mallets when they wanted to lose weight. And Eltyjom's lobberly songs. I'm here today with Kiki Dee. Hello Kiki Dee. Hello Elton. There's dozens of episodes to catch up on and brand new episodes going out right now. So if you want far, far, far too many podcasts, then look for Soundteap on Maximum Fun.

Boop boop! Alright, we're over 70 episodes into our show, let's learn everything. So let's do a quick progress check. Have we learnt about quantum physics? Yes, episode 59. We haven't learnt about the history of gossip yet, have we? Yes, we have. Same episode, actually. Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters?

Episode 64. So how close are we to learning everything? Bad news, we still haven't learned everything yet. Oh, we're ruined! No, no, no, it's good news as well. There is still a lot to learn. Woo! I'm Dr. Ella Hubba.

I'm regular Tom Lum. I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else too. And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode. Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. ["Overheard"] Overheard.

Overheard's, where you hear it, we want to hear it. It's only just. And we always like to start with the guest, Daniel, do you have an overheard? I have an overheard. Yay. Yay. Okay, so I was on the BC fairies from Swartz Bay to Sawaasan.

Classic, classic route. Yeah, it was a good route. You say Sawaasan. What would you say? Sawaasan. I never, oh really? Maybe it's an island thing to say Sawaasan. Sawaasan, it's probably the right way to say it thing to say, soawson. No, but soawson.

It's probably the right way to say it. Who knows? Not me. Who knows? I mean. Well, some people know. Yeah. You, it sounds like you know.

I bet Kevin Lee knows. He's from there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. We'll ask him. Go ahead. Decker? Oh yeah.

Yeah. As you were? Adam Decker, yeah. Or Ladner? Ladner. That's all I'm saying. Adam Payt, Adam Payton is from maybe Ladner as well. Yeah, did you ever meet Adam Payton? No. He has one of my favorite stupid gags where he would roll up his pants and like pass the knee and he would do an impression of a fire.

It's just him slapping his knees. Like that kind of. It would sound really. It would kill me every time he did it. That's so good. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, he was a funny dude. I Oh, that's so good. Yeah. He was a funny dude.

I mean, he's still alive. I just haven't seen him do comedy in a long time. But yes, as you were. I'm on the ferry. I'm on the ferry. And behind me are some UVic students, or I assume they're UVic students, but they're at university. And this one girl, she said, she was like, oh, I'm just not sure if this summer I should

do van life or live in a yurt. And then she was like, I guess I'll just wait to decide until after my opera final. Incredible, incredible. What a life she must lead. Wow. Yeah, what would you pick? Van life or yurt?

Yurt life. Where's the yurt? Where's the yurt? That would be my question. It's like- The van can be anywhere. It's in the Okanagan this year. Maybe's the yurt? Where's the yurt? That would be my question. Because the van can be anywhere. It's in the Okanagan, this yurt. Maybe I choose yurt.

Is yurt- Forest fire season though? No, no, winter. Winter yurt in the Okanagan. Summertime, you gotta do van life. You gotta? Winter time, probably van life. Okay, just van life across the forest.

I don't know what a yurt is. It's like a round. Like a little tent. Tent. Yeah. But it can be, it's like, it's nice. It's like lamping. Yeah, does it have electricity?

Sure. Okay. For you, anything. Yeah, it's hard not, like I'm picturing a cup of yogurt upside down. That's where it'll go. I think that is kind of what it is. Big enough for like a really big one,

but like a honey ice drink for kids. And no yogurt in it. Yeah, yeah. A little. A clean little Activia cup. Maybe like a little bit in there for a taste. Yeah, I had a friend who went and worked in a yurt on like a farm somewhere.

Like they did farming during the day and then stayed in a yurt. I wanna see how big a yurt on like a farm somewhere. They did farming during the day and then stayed in a yurt. I wanna see how big a yurt is. What are we spelling yurt, with a U? A Y-U-R-T. Oh, that's a nice looking yurt here. Yeah, yurts can be nice. Yeah. And here I am stuck with my van life.

Changing his tune, I see. Yeah, it is kind of an upside down yogurt cup. It's an upside down? Oh yeah. with my van life. Curtains, curtain, yearning, curtain yearning. These curtain yearnings got me squirting. Van life, I feel like that's more of an American endeavor because you could be in places where you can live in a van. Exactly. Yeah, but it's also a West coast of Columbia. I know a lot of the, the, my introduction to van life has been folks from here.

Yeah, I know there's a one street like down where all the tech companies are and like down main, there's a street that's just all campers. Oh really, like near Great Northern Way? No farther like just off of main, like main and fourth. Oh okay. Yeah, and there's a street that's free parking.

What? Oh, sure, well, yeah. Oh, yeah. There used to be a street like that by the Kelly and Kelly offices, but everything, they just went in. Oh, did they make it no parking? No, they made it pay parking.

Oh, shit, that'll, that'll. And same with this whole neighborhood. They've gone in and taken out all the... Right. Yeah, there was also the beach that has rabbits at it. Oh, yeah. Jericho? Yeah, Jericho. That's Jericho, right?

There's rabbits there. Across from the entrance to the parking lot, like 100 trailers. Yeah. So if you're out there, if you're listening to us with the last of your electricity in your year-end tour trailer, we if you're out there if you're listening to us with the last of your electricity and your trailer Yeah, that one area there where I see still see a lot of vans and RVs is

Terminal Avenue by Home Depot Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean for a long time in the states you could park in Walmart parking lot, right? Can you not anymore? I think they crack down on it. Yeah. So that considered, I feel like yurt. Yeah, all that considered. Yeah, yurt.

But would you go in one that was where you had to farm during the day? I just want to be alone. Yeah. Just leave me alone. Maybe it's a yurt that's not surrounded by anything. Maybe you're just by the yurt. I'm alone in a yurt. You're alone in a yurt. I feel safer in a van.

Yeah, because then if something goes down, you're out. Like I'm alone in a yurt and there's coyotes circling the yurt, Dave. You gotta get the periscope out. But if I'm in a van, I just plow right through them. Yeah. Dave, do you have an overhurt? Yeah, this is from Choices, which is the store you went to.

It's a grocery store. And there was a couple in the produce section and it sounded like they were trying to figure out what they were gonna have for dinner. And this is kind of a, it's sort of a health food store slash grocery store. Grocery store, expensive. It's expensive.

You wouldn't do your, I mean, maybe people do, but you go there if you need a couple items. Yeah, it's not a big shop. Yeah, you don't do your weekly shop there. I don't anyway. And I overheard a woman say to a man in a couple, hmm, well, we haven't eaten that $3 tomato yet. You've got tomatoes at home.

Well, I mean, they've got this $3 tomato home. They're trying to plan the whole meal around it. We start with the tomato. How much is a singular tomato usually? I don't think I buy one tomato ever. I don't know either. But I also when I buy tomatoes, I'm buying $100 or $200 worth of groceries. So I the tomatoes and I'm buying four tomatoes, which I would guess come in at under $4.

Yeah, like less than $1 a tomato. Well, I bought a banana there and it came to 13 cents. I was like, that sounds right. Yeah, yeah. 13 cents. What would a banana have cost? Did cost? Oh, they're free. Yeah. Yeah. Just having that how we sunk $3 into this one tomato. We got to. Yeah, it's sunk costs. Yeah. That's nice.

I think domesticity is nice. Yeah. And also, you know. It's good to have somebody to talk to about $3 tomatoes. Yeah, and also like, it's good, you're doing the environment a solid. Yeah, you're focusing on that tomato.

You're gonna build the meal around the tomato. You got the tomato, exactly. Now what? What meal would you guys plan around a tomato? Oh, a full English. Oh, nice. Nice, yeah. Even though that's the thing I hate about a full English

is the grilled tomato. The grilled tomato. The mushrooms are good. Oh. No? Yeah. Oh, I couldn't tell if that O is a bad O. No, mushrooms, beans. See, I can't actually tell what's going on in your face

It's never had a bad. Oh the Yeah My daughters have recently started enjoying breakfast sausage. Mmm, and that's inspired me to go full English Yeah, would you do the tomato? I don't do the tomato. No. Yeah, cooked tomatoes, it should be in a sauce, I feel like. Agreed. It shouldn't be on a sauce. It shouldn't just be sort of an amorphous blob.

Yeah. Yeah. Raw tomato, you sprinkle that in a taco, on nachos. Yeah. These are good. Salad. Yeah, you can make a good salad. I do like a farro bowl.

OK. With some lentils and tomato. That sounds pretty good. That's great. Yeah. Really good. Good job you guys. Other stuff too in there.

You put it on a sandwich, put it on a burger. I know I was thinking BLT would be one of the go-to. Oh, BLT with a nice, with like an heirloom tomato? Yeah, like with a real nice tomato. I mean, you know it's- Like a trout, like market tomato? $3 tomato. $3 tomato.

I grew, started growing vegetables last summer. Nice. And had good luck with peas and the kale, I didn't like the kale, but the kale went crazy. It does go crazy. Yeah, the kale goes crazy. And so it let, and it survived the winter. Wow.

And so I've started planting a kale I do like. I'm just starting the seeds now, but the old kale, I was like, I'll hold on. I'm being edged out. I'll hold onto the old kale, you know, in case there's like, we're in a trade crisis right now. Maybe we lose all our kale. Yeah, exactly.

And then as the new kale has started to come in, I've been like, well, get rid of the old kale. It has grown under the box and now it's growing in the lawn. I mean, kale's pretty. So, you know, if you have a bunch of kale. Why don't you like the kale? It just was, yeah, the mouth feel of it wasn't good. It was Russian kale.

I like a Lacinto, the dinosaur kale. Oh nice. Oh, the big, the long ones. Yeah. Yeah. Dark green leaves. Yeah, those are good ones. Those are good. That's a good kale.

That's a good kale. It's nice to strip those. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. It's a good feeling. Chop it up. Yeah. Salad, right? Cooking it, you know?

You can do it all. You can do it all with that kale. Kale's good at all. Yeah, you can make kale chips. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, delicious. Bit of flaky sea salt. Yeah.

That's the recipe. Graham, you haven't overheard? I do, and it's courtesy of, there's a movie shooting at the end of your street, and I walked by it, and one of the actors was getting last looks, getting makeup done. And all I heard her say was like, I went out for it, but I did not want the role as a secretary. I mean, yeah, feast of famine, I guess, you know?

Wow. Yeah. I mean, I wish her well. Yeah, someone's got to play the secretary. Yeah. Yeah. Ghostbusters, you got a call. Is that Annie Potts? Yeah.

Who are the great secretaries? Annie Potts and Ghostbusters, whoever it is in the movie, secretary. Maggie Gyllenhaal. Maggie Gyllenhaal. Millie and Thorly Modern Millie. Oh, yeah. Nice. What about the person at the desk in

Devil Wears Prada? I feel like that was a good one. Emily Blunt, slash Anne Hathaway. Yeah. I feel like there's a third, was Giselle one of them for like- Giselle Bunshin? Bunshin, I'm talking Bunshin. Oh, she was and she had glasses.

Yeah, I don't know if they're secretaries, they're there sort of just interned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is, what am I thinking of, well, on the Drew Carey show, was Mimi a secretary? No, she was like, she was across the way from him. Okay. On Murphy Brown.

Murphy Brown rotating secretary. They had a gag, new secretary every episode. Mad Men had so many secretaries. Oh, God. Like the old lady one. Yeah, she was, and then he called her like an astronaut or something. Yeah, she was born in a barn, she died in a, it's like a skyscraper.

Yeah. Yeah, I think we got them all. Yeah. Someone's gonna be so mad that we forgot. Yeah, there's obviously one that's huge that we totally are not calling. Well, there's like so many office TV shows. Yeah. I mean, certainly the office.

The office. The office. Oh, that's the big one. Yeah, that's the big one. Pam, Don. Yeah Yeah, we got it. Thank God we got that cuz that shit was close. Now we also have people who send in. Do 20 Sopranos have a secretary? No, cuz they hug out the back of the bottom boom or bottom bing or whatever. How are you still rewatching that? I paused because I heard that Breaking Bad was going to be taken off of Netflix.

So I burned through that. Had you seen that before? Yeah. This is remember you used to watch it every week at your. You watched it with us? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And then I remember they we will watch Mad Men as well. And then there was a show after there was a reality show based on Mad Men as well, and then there was a show after, there was a reality show based on Mad Men.

Oh yeah. Yeah, and they had to come up with like proposals and things for different businesses. It was, yeah, and you remember the ad campaign they did for Subway? Yeah. And it was about, Subway had a breakfast sandwich. Yeah.

Yeah, you remember this exactly right. And the campaign was Zambies had a breakfast sandwich. Yeah. Yeah, you're remembering this exactly right. And the campaign was Zambies. Zambies. Oh, because it was after the Walking Dead as well. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was zombies that are in the AM. Yeah, AM zombies.

Yeah, it didn't win. No. No, it wouldn't. Did you see Subway now has a foot long nacho? Nacho? With a bit. Foot long nacho? Well, it's foot long nachos. It's a tray of Doritos with Subway toppings on top.

So you know, Italian. It's got an Italian thing of Doritos. And then I guess they put it through the microwave. Yeah. Oh, that's so upsetting. It is so upsetting. Just get them from 7-Eleven like everybody else. Now we also have overheard sent in to us

by people all over the world. If you want to send one in, send it in to SPY at maximumfun.org. And speaking of Subway, he said the person who wrote this, Austin from Texas. No, Fry from Austin, Texas. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

I've been holding onto this since 2015, and it's a poster, there's online looking for recommendations for brunch. And then it provides suggestions for brunch. Is this a poster? This is, no, like internet. Okay, sorry. It provides suggestions for brunch restaurants near me, and has been bringing me much needed smiles for the past nine years

brunch restaurant, Burger King and Subway. So great. Yeah. Couldn't be more wrong. Well, you get a Chris Sandwich from Burger King. You get these Zambies. Yeah. I, yeah, are you a brunch person?

I mean, I'm from Victoria, British Columbia. Oh, home of Jam Cafe. Home of Jam Cafe. Is that, that's the big one? That used to be the big one. What is it now? Oh, the Ruby, I think is really big in Victoria. Oh yeah, I've been to the Ruby.

Yeah, the Ruby's good. My favorite is a place called Nourish. Nourish? Yeah, it's in this old heritage house in James Bay. It's great. Okay. I went to UVic. Oh.

And- What'd you study? Political science. Nice. Name three politicians. Okay, OJ Simpson. Yeah. Name three politicians. Okay. O.J. Simpson. The glove. The glove and Johnny Gargant.

Nailed it, you guys. And brunch, I would say it was a big pub town. So there were a lot of full Englishes. Yeah. A lot of like ye olde, whatever. Yeah. And lot of like, ye old whatever. And then with our favorite, Denny's. Denny's. Yeah.

They used to play a place, what was it called, that had like copper roof on it. And it was like, as you drive into downtown. You guys know what I'm talking about? I think I do. What is it called, like, Phil's or something like that? I don't know if it's still there. Yeah.

Was it Phil's Motor Inn? Was it like a karaoke place? Oh, yeah, the Motor Inn thing. No, this was a diner, like, classic, classic diner, but it had, like, copper... Was it the Red Lion? That was a strip club. That was the Red Lion. They got a great brunch there.

Yeah. One of the best breakfasts I've ever had was at Club Super Sex in Montreal. So you do hear that about strip clubs Yeah, it was when I was there for just for laughs the first time like everybody we're going to Like 11 in the morning was it open all night. Oh at 24 hours being of things happening all night Normally you like So when you get these overheards, you email them to yourself, you compile three of them, email them to yourself, but you email them to the,

our shared spy email address. And normally you do it the day before, this morning, they were sent before seven. I know, I woke up early and I was like, I'm staying up. I'm not going to go back to sleep. I'm getting out of bed. Getting your work done. And then.

Yeah. And now I'm like toast. It's 1243 PM. This next one comes from Chelsea from Chicago. I was in the Easter candy aisle at Target over hearing a couple discussing what Easter candy to get their grandkids. The woman was indecisive. So finally the man said candy is candy. It's like prison. They'll trade. It's true. It's true. Yeah. What was your like, either Halloween or Easter favorite chocolate?

Are you a chocolate person at all? I'm a chocolate person. I like chocolate, I like chocolate. Now say it with an accent. I gotta say chocolate, chocolate. Every time I think about Halloween candy, I think about your razor blade apple joke. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So good. It never happened. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. It never happened. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Favorite one?

You know what my favorite Easter movie is? The Joaquin Phoenix movie Hershey. Ah, yes. We haven't done our Easter egg shopping yet. Whoa. I'm going over. Watch out. For our kids.

I think this eight-year- old is still holding on to Santa and Easter bunny. And by extension, the Easter bunny. Children believe in the Easter bunny? There's really no lore about the Easter bunny. Yeah, I didn't think there was. But she's also a tooth fairy as well. Oh, that's nice though.

It's not good for you, but for her. No, it has to, I have to sneak. Childhood wonder. I have to sneak around. Yeah. But you're gonna do that anyway. Maybe we'll have a reason. Yeah.

Oh, dad's stumbling drunk into my bedroom again. Sorry, is this my? Sorry. I don't know. The whole reason I've been drinking for their entire lives is so I can pull off the perfect I'm going tomorrow

Easter weekend I'm going to Salt Spring Island and a nephew and niece are gonna be there and the niece has Made the decision that she's gonna do an adult Egg hunt. Oh, wow, they're gonna have an egg hunt and she's gonna plant things in the adults. That's fun, right? That's really fun. What is she gonna hide? I think they have plastic eggs that you put something inside.

Yay, yay, yay. We do that, Abby does that here, but she puts clues in. Oh, fun! She hides the Easter baskets and then the kids have to, like they find an Easter egg, they open it up and inside it says, go to the place

where we keep the cold things. Oh, the fridge. Oh. The cellar. And then there's an egg in the fridge, and it says, go to the place where fresh is the taste. Oh, Subway. I'll have your footloin nachos.

That's the next clue. It's under the cheese. This last one comes from Casey in Arkansas. I have a nine and seven year old boys and this nine year old has been picking up fun new phrases at school. This weekend they were playing together. My youngest came up to me and said, when I asked Dex, what are you doing? And he says, your mom. Is that mean? I gotta get some clarity.

Oh man. When a kid picks up a swear, like it's the best. There was one my kids were, they had heard some variation on that, but it was like a character they had named their character in a video game, Your Mommia. Your Mommia! Or it was like a doll that they had named your mommy and they were playing doll. I love it. I don't think it's mean, is it? No, no. Making fun of somebody's mom?

Especially if you, well, but if you're siblings, then it's No, no. Making fun of somebody's mom? Well, but if you're siblings, then it's... You just make it to your own mom, that's true. What are you doing? Your mom. Our mom? Yeah. She's your mom too, guys. Oh yeah, our mom's a slut.

In addition to over-heards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls and voice memos. Send your voice memos if you want. How do I phrase this again? Anyway, send your voice memos to spyatmaximumfun.org or call us 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spypod one, like these people have.

Nice. That's one. Ugh. Spypod. One. Like these people have. Nice. And also, I noticed since we switched to voice memos, people have been not writing in ones for Graham as much. Yeah, come on. Get up off your lazy ass and do some typing. Get up, get up, get busy. Okay, let's go.

But it's going to be hard to talk about that. Hi, Dave Graham and probably a guest. This is Russ from Calgary calling in with an overseen. We were driving towards downtown downtown coming down a big hill when we had to stop at a crosswalk as a mom and her son crossed the road. As they crossed, I noticed the son was wearing a nice but obviously homemade shirt that said fart on racism.

Well, I'll take that. Hell yeah. Homemade. Give it a pink eye. This is the only, this is the only swear I'm allowed to use. Yeah, I'm for it. That's great.

Also, that guy has a good voice. I would listen to a podcast of him. Hi, Dave Graham and probably a guest. This is... All right, it's clean. You got one listener. Yeah. Yeah, Russ in Calgary.

That guy has a good voice. I'd listen to a podcast of him. You just listen podcast. I mean, you just listen for the voice quality? I just listen for the voice quality. You don't know what's going on. Never actually like listen, listen. It's just background noise. You watch Star Wars and you're like, well, Darth Vader's got the best voice. He's probably the good guy.

Next phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Leslie outside St. Louis, Missouri. My friend and I were walking on a trail like a paved trail near our house a couple weeks ago on one of those really nice spring Sunday afternoons. And we were walking and we're two women in our late 40s and this woman in her maybe mid 20s rides towards us on her e-bike and as she gets near us she slows down and she stops us and she was like, hey guys, I'm not a creeper, I promise, this isn't super weird but I don't usually do this but I had a bad migraine so I just smoked smoked a big J. And how did I get back to the university?

We were very close. You just told her to go straight a little bit, turn left at the next T intersection, you can't miss it. And she kind of starts her bike back up again and she goes, thanks, women helping women. Nice, solidarity. I wasn't convinced until the women helping women. I like the women helping women.

Smoking a joint and then riding on an e-bike. Yeah. That sounds like a great, like a fun after-do. That sounds like fun. Cure for a migraine. Yeah. Hell yeah. They probably did that when it was still illegal.

Oh, my migraines. Yeah. I mean, that was- I'm going to do bong rips. That's how they did it back in the day. Yeah. It's such a, there will be a generation it'll be ludicrous to say that it was illegal.

Like it'll just sound like when we hear about prohibition or something, you're like, what? Do you remember the first season of Friends, maybe it was the second season, and Monica, you're not gonna know any of this. I've seen friends. Okay, all right. I have friends. And she has been hired to cater,

be a private chef for an event and it's John Lovitz. And then he smokes a joint and he's acting all crazy. And she's like, has to whisper, he's high. It's the biggest deal in the world that this grown man's- Isn't he like horned up too? Yeah, probably. And he just keeps, at one point he asks for a tartlet and then he just keeps saying tartlet over and over

and he's like, the words lost all meaning. Yeah. Tartlet, tartlet. Tartlet, really good impression. Thanks. It's one of the only ones I can- Yeah, yeah, yeah, really good. It Thanks. Yeah, it's one of the only ones I can It stinks it stinks They're doing that's coming back they're gonna do the critic yeah, which was I love that show and it was on sure

What's his what's the new take? Don't know. Maybe it's a son. I don't know. Okay. Did he have a son on it? Maybe I'm thinking of Dr. Katz, but maybe they both had a son. Dr. Katz was so good. These are all things that we can fill you in later if you like. Yeah, later. I'm gonna leave with a big list of things to absorb.

Yeah, get up there and absorb. He's so mad my dad wouldn't let me watch Dr. Katz. That was the thing in middle school. Everyone was talking about it. I had no idea. Why would he squiggle vision? Dr. Katz was a really good premise for a show. Dr. Katz was a therapist and all his patients were-

It was animated. It was animated and they were all comedians doing their bits. Oh, that's fun. And it was really, it's fun. It was fun. Yeah, and that's what they're there to express to the therapist. It was great. Good show.

It was a good show. Final phone call. Hello, Stop Podcasting Yourself. I'm calling in with an overseen. So, I was walking through a grocery store parking lot and I saw a minivan that was a little dusty. And on one side of the back windshield, somebody had written the words,

I love mom and baby brother. And on the other side of the back windshield, the same person had wrote, dad stinks in gigantic capital letters and had stink lines coming up. Oh no. So I don't know what dad did, but he publicly punished for it. All right, off I go.

I wonder if he's just like a guy who's just got an odor. I do like those families that on their minivan, they do the little stick figures of everyone in the van. They should have stink lines coming off their dad. They should, just to add. Yeah. Oh man, yeah. Can you imagine having to live with a dad that stinks?

Social functions would be a nightmare, you know? Parent-teacher interviews, oh my god, they're gonna smell you, dad. Oh man. Do you think it was literal? Yeah, that's the way I'm pictured. Dad stinks. I mean, there were the stink lines. Yeah.

So. Indicates actual stink. But it was coming off the word dad? It was coming off the letters? Or did they draw a picture? I don't know. We'll never know. We're not going back.

Yeah, what were you recording that next to a stream or something? I know, the voice memos are letting us down. The whole society's breaking down. Yeah, one piece at a time. Well that brings us to the end of the podcast. Danielle, you have some shows coming up. Oh yeah, I have shows, sure. So on May 8th, okay, I think it's a Friday where to make eighth or ninth

I'm gonna be in the Sunshine Coast at the Gibson's Legion cool. Come on down And then you doing your 20. I'm doing I'm doing 30 you're doing it's gonna be loose I'm gonna stretch to 30. With Rachel Schaeffer as well, past guest. Yeah. Yeah. Past guest of the pod. She's great.

And then May 12th to the 16th, I'll be in Victoria doing all sorts of shows. I'll be at Heckler's. Nice. And other places. And then June 2nd to the 7th, I'll be in Calgary, Alberta. I'll be doing Yuck Yucks and also other shows. Yuck Yucks, the casino. Oh, the casino, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good gigs, those all sound like good gigs. Yeah, maybe, we'll see. But you know, you have to go out and see her for yourself. See if the 20 holds up on the road. We saw her, she got left stage in eight minutes. Maybe you get one of these crowds that you can do, you know, 25 of jokes and 15 of just fun. Yeah.

And I like the 15 of fun. Totally. You know, I, yeah. Who doesn't like fun? How do you feel about that? But some people are like, no, you have to be strict. Who's like that? The people, the powers that be, other comedians?

Both, not everyone, but like some people. But crowds aren't like that. No, crowds aren't like that. Crowds want fun. Yeah, but I live to impress other comedians. Yeah, that's true. But crowds aren't like that. Crowds aren't like that. Crowds aren't fun. Yeah, but I live to impress other comedians. Yeah, that's true. The back of the room.

It's a real problem. It's a real problem. My favorite is Andy Kindler because he would drop a joke, it would bomb, and then the next five minutes was him ranting about by that joke bomb. Loved it. So yeah, go check out those shows. And thank you very much for being our guest. Thank you.

And everybody out there, if you haven't read The Baby-Sitters Club, why not give it a whirl? I've heard so much about it now, I can't wait to read it. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.