Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 894 - Brent Butt

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

Comedian Brent Butt joins us to talk newsletter life, Sinners, and wimpy little injuries. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 894 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, boy, his garden, I'll tell you. Walking up here today, tools aplenty, spring has arrived at this man's household. It's Dave Shopega.

Spring doesn't arrive, Graham. It just happens? No, spring has sprung. Oh, sorry. Yes, that's right. Spring Springs. Yeah, spring springs. Springsteen. And your place looks lovely, you have flowers out in front. Yeah, there are flowers, there's, yeah, it's, you know tulips, they're so

easy. Yeah, you just gotta plonk them in the fall and they come up in the spring and you're like, hey. Hey there friend. Hey, check it out. Anyway, I encourage anyone out there, go dig in the dirt. Yeah, exactly. If you have some dirt, you know what? Go to community and dig some dirt. You know? Yeah, I just said dirt. Yeah, you don't have to dig your dirt.

Yeah, make like Peter Gabriel's first single from the Us album and dig in the dirt. I'll take your word for it. Our guest today, returning guest of the podcast, one of our all time favorites, you can catch him online with his new web experiment, Not Exactly TV. It's Brent Butt. Hello. Hello.

Hello, everybody. A pleasure to be back. How are you? I'm good. I'm all right, you know, for an old bastard, a shamblin' old bastard, I'm doing all right. What do- An old bastard who doesn't look after himself too, by the way. Yeah, yeah. I'm not one of these guys in the gym type of a guy.

Yeah. I'm not a guy who doesn't eat cheese. Yeah. So I'm doing all right, all things considered. I think, yeah, has the wisdom on cheese flipped over the last few years? I know that we were supposed to not eat bread and that, or wait, we were supposed to stay away from fats. And then now fat's fine. Sure. Depends on the fat.

Yeah. And it's also, they do this thing a lot on the internet where it's like, this was Wilford Brimley at age 35. And you're like, yeah, but you know, you could smoke everywhere. I just saw one of those that was like legit alarming, but I can't tell you who the contemporary guy was. It was Sean Connery. Yeah. And it was the, he was the guy who played the kid in like Love Actually is now 34. So 34 years old. And Connery literally looks like he'd be the kid's father at least, like late father. And you're like, well, I question whether that was Sean Connery at 34.

Yeah. I mean, I know he had a hard, he was a hard man. He was a hard man, yeah. But it's a, yeah, man, it's like, we got all these different things you can buy that aren't just like, you know, sugar and pulp or something like that. Yeah, that's true. Like, I ate so much pulp as a boy. What was your favorite pulp to eat? Oh, probably's true. I ate so much pulp as a boy. What was your favorite pulp to eat?

Oh, probably cedar. I also think sexually harassing women probably ages you. Oh, sure. Oh, I heard the opposite. You can see it on his face. But look at Bill Clinton. He looks great. He does. Well, he went vegan.

That's right. That one says that. Yeah. Do you want to get to know us? Yes. Get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. So Brent. When was the last time we had Brent Budd on the show?

Oh, you're going to quiz me? No, no, no, but it's been, it's been a calendar year. I remember we talked about my novel coming out and that was October 3rd, 2020. Like I know it was October 3rd. Yeah. It's just what year did it come? I think it was 2023. Yeah, it sounds like 2023. Let's look you up. Brent, is it? Yeah. Yeah, the you put out a goddamn book. I know a novel, a dark, violent, violent psychological thriller came out October 3rd 2023. I believe so. It came out October 2nd, 2023? I believe so. The episode came out October 2nd, 2023.

And that's where you got the spy bump. That's where you got the spy bump that all the authors are on pins and needles about. Fingers crossed, and I landed it. Yeah, that was a very different experience for me because my whole life has been comedy, not only that, but not even particularly edgy comedy. It's been pretty obtuse, is that the term? Rounded at both ends, comedy, not only that, but not even particularly edgy comedy, right? It's been pretty obtuse,

is that the term? Yeah. Rounded at both ends, comedy. And then, and then it was like, oh, I published a novel. And it's a dark, violent, psychological thriller. You threw some people for a loop. So they just counted. This is your 13th episode. Ooh, lucky number 13. Timers club. Um, yeah.

How many, what kind of grouping would that be? How many people have done 13 episodes? Uh, be like a Charlie Demers would be. Yeah. Alicia Tobin probably. Alicia Tobin has John Doar done that many. John Doar's done a bunch. Maybe Erica Sigurdsson.

She's been on a lot. Um, it's mostly just been people we know. Rarified air. It's a good company to be in. Now I don't hate any of those people. Yeah, isn't that over time you develop people that you really hope you don't run into at my comedy club? I hate less.

No, I don't really have. There's, you know, there's only one person I would say in all my years of show business that I truly despise. And it's probably not who you think. Oh, interesting. I think a lot of people haven't know, especially Vancouver comedians are like, oh, I know who that would be. Yeah, Florence Henderson. We go back, we got some history. Because I used to because I started the shag haircut and she pinched it

for me. No, so there's one comic that a lot of people would assume because... This is fair enough in a way that we're either gonna have to guess or you're gonna have to tell us. But if you have a guess, it's probably not right. The person that I despise is probably not the person you think. The most despicable comedian in town. Is it that Gru? It's not even, it's not a Vancouver comic. Oh, really?

Yeah. Okay. Well, that goes my guess out the window. Is it a comedian? Like, I don't know how you said that. Is it a comedian? You said in showbiz. Yes, although, although not active.

Okay. So I don't have to worry about really like, bumping into this person at a venue or something, you know? Yeah. Am I going to get a call in a few days? Dave, take out that despised comedian. No, no. I'm not saying anybody's name, so I'm good.

And I feel if there's one person and you're like, I've been in show business 37 years now. Yeah. One person. That's really good. You know, there are plenty that hate me. No. In terms of what people that I hate, my outgoing hatred. The heads you stepped on to get to the top.

Yeah, you've got this, you've got an inbox and an outbox of hate and the outbox is very limited. Yeah, very light. Inboxed. Swapped. Have you ever, like, I feel like I see those people a lot at funerals, the people that I would never want to, or possibly, but somebody in common has passed away,

and so then you're just suddenly having to make small talk with somebody that you've been purposely avoiding. Yeah You know the dead guy hated you, too No, he hated you There's no way to prove it because the person will often die you should hear my eulogy Tear you apart. Oh man past guests Kathleen McGee at her celebration

of life, Lisa Baker, a comic from Edmonton, very funny. I completely attacked the dude who like posted things like, oh, I'm gonna miss her so much. And her being like, she hated you. She in front of everybody, she absolutely hated you. And everybody was like, wow. Clearing the wow. That's what I want at my funeral. Just consequences. Yeah. Just some sort of clash.

I would like for there to be some manner of physical altercation at my funeral. That would be all right. And then I get bumped in my coffin and spilled out. Like in Pet Sematary, like in Stephen King's Pet Sematary, when the young boy, the grandfather and the father get in a fight and knock the little boy's coffin over. Like that. We should call that book Boy Sematary. That's so funny. Yeah, there's one guy that I go out of my way to avoid. I'm not going to say his name, but he knows who he is. You're out there listening.

You know who you are. No, the, my problem with this, the show in general is sometimes we get a guest or Graham in this case, saying something spicy and we're like, we'll find out off air. And then five minutes goes by and I completely forget. I never ask off air. Okay, we'll make sure this time we'll get to, cause I wanna hear who yours is as well. Hey Siri, in 45 minutes, remind me to ask who they hate.

Okay, I've added ask who they hate for this afternoon at 1 0 6 p.m. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. So yeah, you wrote a book and then it got published and then you were on like bestseller. Yeah, it was number one national bestseller. How about those apples? That's insane.

We'll never reach those heady heights again. How many? I mean, not specific to your books, your books specifically, but like how many books are sold? Like what does it take to be number one? What's a good week? Yeah, I mean, it's not tons. Like especially like a national bestseller.

Oh God, now it feels like I'm taking them down a peg. Yeah, I mean, you really have sort of popped the bubble. Talk about stuff we should talk about offline. It's about eight, about eight copies. All-time record as it does. Do you get numbers of like, oh yeah, people bought my book in the airport mostly, or people bought my book at independent bookstallers? I don't get that kind of detail. Maybe somebody does, but that's not shared with my literary agent or myself. Or you did the audio book as well. I did.

Do you have numbers on that? And I didn't think about it, like when I was writing the book, I was, I never considered the fact that I would be, I don't know why it didn't cross my mind, but that I would be recording the audio portion of it. And one of the characters in my book is from Dublin. The female protagonist in my book is from Dublin. The female protagonist in my book is from Dublin. So then I was like, how do I handle this accent? I either go slight or way big. And I decided to just go slight. I haven't had anybody, it hasn't seemed to anger anybody.

Okay. Give us way big. Give us what you didn't go with. It would be very lucky charms-ish, I would think, right? Oh, hit her, hit her, that kind of a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For half the book. Yeah. And now do your exaggerated one. That was your...

That was my restraint. When you wrote the book, did you ever think of somebody that you're like, boy, this would be great if it was read by so and so? No, because like I said, I wasn't even really thinking about the audio part of it because I don't listen to audio books myself. It's not a part of my life. And I just for what and I was new to the book world. Like, so when I was writing the book, first of all, I wasn't writing it, you know,

I was just writing it on a spec. I didn't know if I could write a novel. I didn't know if I would like it, if it would stink or whatever, so I just thought, I'm gonna write this thing myself and we'll see if it feels like it has any legs, could maybe become something or not. So the whole while I was writing that first draft,

I really wasn't even thinking about publishing it. I was just seeing if I could write a book. And then when I finished and I sort of liked it, I did a few drafts of it, fixed some things, I was like, then it was like, yeah, I could, I feel like I could start shopping this around maybe and see if an editor could help out and things like that. So when I was creating it, I wasn't even thinking of the publishing part of it. The answer we were looking for was Will Arnett. What does an editor do exactly? Well, there's different kinds of editors. There's sort of structural editors that sort of deal with the story and say, you know, this doesn't, this gets a little soggy in the middle. You need something to happen here to bolster this or they'll say things like,

you know, just logistically, this character doing this thing is off track of, you know, what their motivation is, and it's kind of goes off in a tangent. So you have those sort of structural edits, and then you have a line edit that really just makes sure you're using the right version of the word, your quotation marks are proper. And they'll also suggest things like, you know, this sentence is longer than it needs to be. You could maybe shave this back a bit. Penis has one end. Not mine. But it's also, and so I'd never gone through that process before. It's a little different than going through network notes on a script for your show, or studio notes for the movie.

The book process is just a little different. So when I first got notes from the line editor, like some of them I really liked and some I didn't like, so I disagreed with. And so I said to the publisher, like how married to these notes do I said to the publisher, like, how on the, you know, how married to these notes do I have to be? Can I get this editor fired?

No, the publisher was like zero, like whatever you, if there's any, anything the editor says that you like and want to run with, go ahead. And if you don't, don't like we like the book the way it is. So so that was kind of nice. But yeah, I mean, I took like well over half the suggestions from the editor. Wow. Yeah. So that's three styles of notes that you've had in your career. You don't get a lot of notes in standup. It's called heckling.

Yeah. Orbaly. Oh, geez. I just learned that I suck tonight. I was informed by an audience member. How would he like if I went to his workplace and- The big one? I suck the big one? What are you even talking about? So you, when you were in the thick of standup, like roasts weren't as popular as they are now. No, roasts were sort of a throwback to an earlier time and the Dean Martin roast.

The thought of roasts when I was a young comic starting out, it was an antiquated kind of a thing. Yeah. And now it's super popular. And I was just flipping around, because I've seen a lot of the modern ones and they're very pointed and clever, whereas I watched an old one hosted by Johnny Carson. The first two jokes were just slurs. But they're all like the roasts that I see now are very sort of, uh, boy, nothing held back, just slobber knockers. I was like, man, I wouldn't have been, I wouldn't have the nerve to do it now. I would be shattered emotionally.

No, and no one's safe. If you're on the dais, everyone is going to get a joke at your expense. Yeah. But like the roast battles, you're trying to like cut the legs out from behind, like as opposed to just making jokes about them, You're trying to like, get in there. Yeah, it seems to be ill intent. And I saw one where it was like, this couple, like two comedians that live together, you know? They're in a relationship and they're just hacking at each other like, oh, you know, maybe I was, but anyway,

the couple, it's a couple in real life. They're both standups. And I was watching some of it, I was going, but anyway, the couple, it's a couple in real life. They're both standups. And I was watching some of it, I was going, good Lord, this would be the end of any romantic, just brutal. We'll find out off here who the couple was. Siri, remind me. So now you've written a book and you are going on a, like you go on a press tour, do you go or is it all virtual?

He came on our show. That was our... That's true. That was the kickoff. Yeah, that was the pillar to post. That's all you need. You get that tap. You get the tap from the spy podcast.

Yeah, we did a little PR book tour with it. Yeah, boss country going to bookstores reading. Yeah, that's the nuts and bolts of it. And a couple of sort of book festivals, literary festivals, there was one in- You got a tote bag? Calgary that was big. Oh yeah, I got tote bags.

Lanyard. Linwood Barclay, who's one of my favorite authors that I love to read, he writes thrillers. No, Michael Jackson wrote thrillers. Quiddy Jones had a hand in it. I've gotten to know him a little bit through the process of this, because it turns out he was a corner gas fan and I was a fan of his books and we sort of started chatting on social media. And then he was an early, he read an early manuscript. I sort

of was brazen enough to say, listen, I wrote a novel, talking to like a New York Times bestselling author. And I'm like, Hey, I also wrote a novel. Would you read it? Anyway, he read it and he gave me some great advice. I went and sort of retooled it, like completely rewrote the first chapter based on his advice. And yeah, I've gotten to know him a bit and he was, he interviewed me at the Calgary book festival. We did like a little theater event and yeah, so that was cool. It was a combination of popping into bookstores and doing readings and doing some sort of literary festivals. I know.

And just interviews and stuff. And like, were they the same questions every interview? Some some were. But can I guess what they were? Yeah. You're so known for comedy. How did you do a scary? Yeah, there was a lot of that.

And rightly so. I begrudge you. Nobody asked him that question because it's kind of, it's interesting at least. And, he had a joke about it at your book launch in Vancouver that when you approached the editors, they were probably like, oh yeah, Brett Butt's guy, Don, Don's gonna be great. Yeah, I just imagine that's what they assumed it would be.

Brett Butt's favorite, hot dogs across Canada. Which you know, keep that in your backpack. Yeah, that's always, hot dogs across Canada. Which you know, keep that in your backpack. Yeah, that's how he's out, that'll pay the mortgage down the line. The weather's been so nice lately. We've been grilling dogs. Oh yeah? Yeah. What are you doing, Oscar Meyer?

I wish. This is where the sponsor comes in. No, we've been doing- Johnsonville brats? No, Johnsonville, I guess they do a brat. Yeah, they do breakfast sausage a lot. Sure. I guess whatever either Schneider's or Maple Leaf, whatever the classic companies got Johnson

right in the name. They knew what they were doing. Yeah, the on the book, like, I know people have written books, and then they go to bookstores and sign them. Have you ever done that? Like just popped into a bookstore and said, like, I've never done that unannounced. Seems bold. Yeah, I know. Because I would be afraid they'd be like, no, thank you. Yeah. Well, can I sign some Hunger Games?

If you got any books you need signed up. Yeah, I was a little, I was, my fear would be like, no, please don't do that, sir. It's interesting too, to see like a book, like kind of its lifespan where it's sold, it did really well. Maybe the paperback came out and then you find one of them at a thrift store and you're like, the cycle has completed itself. Or in those little free libraries. I keep looking, I keep, there's a little free library near our art place and when I'm out walking our dog, Oliver,

I keep looking in there. Maybe you've signed one, put it in there. Yeah. Yeah. But I went through that process of like, it came out initially as a trade paperback, like it never came out as a hardcover, it came out initially as a trade paperback. Like it never came out as a hardcover, it was released as a trade paperback. And then it came out as what they call a mass market paperback, which is sort of a smaller

version. A little thicker, but smaller in terms of height than width. Same amount of words? Same exact same amount of words, but a whole new cover, right? So that was kind of fun. Oh, what was the second cover? Second cover is... I love it when they finally make and exciting. Oh, what was the second cover? Second cover is- I love it when they finally make it into a movie

and they use the movie cover as the book cover. Yes! Yeah, that'll be the third one, the third iteration. The second, yeah, the mass market paperback was just the word huge, like really large of the cover. And between the U and the G, there's a microphone stand, like a microphone on a stand, the stand runs between the U and the G, and at a microphone stand, like a microphone on a stand. The stand runs between the U and the G

and at the bottom of the microphone stand is like dripping blood. Oh, that's good. And it has the tagline to the book, which was on both in comedy, killing is a good thing. Yeah. I was looking in one of the local libraries, the free libraries, they're all free.

The little... What's a better name for the little cupboards? Yeah, I don't know. Like library seems like it, like you could ask somebody. Library assumes a librarian. Just the book circulation. Sort of like a book, a Texas book repository. There's a little Lee Harvey Oswald in there.

I like to think there's a little Lee Harvey Oswald in there. Yeah. And they had Anne of Green Gables. Oh yeah. And I was like, oh, you know what? My daughter might like this. She likes books about girls.

Sure. She's done with books about animals. Yeah, exactly. So now we're talking, that's exactly right. Because she's writing or reading Babysitter's Club. Is that? Yeah, those kind of thing. And does she have any time for a Nancy Drew or is that?

Not interested, no. But then I saw Anna Green Gables and I thought, oh, I'll get this. But I pulled it out and it was like part of the Vancouver Sun Reading Club. And it was like, I guess, was just like a $2 version they made 20 years ago. And the cover was like a contest winner had drawn the cover. And I was like, my daughter will never go for this. This looks like a fake book. And that book, or anytime that comes up, it reminds me of one of my favorite jokes of all time, the late great Erwin Barker's joke about Prince Edward Island. It's a province

so small you're known by the color of your gables. That's a great joke. He's one of the funniest guys I've ever seen on stage. We weren't recording this podcast when he was still with us. Otherwise, he would have loved to have him as a guest. Although I have a feeling he's the one guy Brint hates. Oh yeah, shit, we're going to find out. He's the one guy whose picture is up in my garage, in my game room, yeah.

Not the one guy, surely you have a picture of Spider-Man. Oh, I do have Graham's, you know the poster? Yeah, the wrestling poster. The wrestling poster that's still up on my fridge. That's a funny poster. Yeah, it's a great poster. But yeah, Erwin Barker, there was nobody funnier. And I remember, he could be so fast too.

Like I was talking to another comic and we were trying to like, we couldn't really articulate the difference between implied and inferred. And just as we were talking about it, Erwin Barker came by, you know, word guy, Erwin Barker, professor we used to call him. So I said, Erwin, what's the difference

between implied and inferred? And he said, what are you getting at? And it's like you look around to see if there's a camera. Am I in a sketch right now? Every time I get an Uber or a cab, I think of his joke about calling a cab and them saying, I'll be there in no time. He's like, so either you're already here or you're not coming.

Oh, man. and I'm saying, I'll be there in no time. He's like, so either you're already here or you're not coming. Yeah. Oh man. So then now you've started another venture. You started an internet podcast, video cast. Well, so I've started writing my next book and I'm writing a new TV series. Is it gonna be about hot dogs? Either one. I'm not gonna be about hot dogs. Banking that one. No, so I'm writing my next novel and I'm writing this new TV series. Is it going to be about hot dogs? Or either of them going to be about hot dogs?

I'm banking that one. So I'm writing my next novel and I'm writing this new TV series. So I started what is ostensibly a newsletter, right? It's on Substack, except I don't want to do any more. I'm writing all day. Yeah. I'm writing either the book or the scripts. So I don't want to also write a newsletter.

Yeah. But then it's the platform is sub stack and they became a video hosting platform. So what I started doing. Video killed the newsletter star. Yeah. So I sat down one day, I just wanted to test out the video uploading process of it

and see what it was like. The nuts, the bolts. I shot this video and I said to anybody who's watching this, don't expect it to be anything. I'm just rambling here. I'm just testing the platform. Yeah. And I talked for like nine minutes, you know,

and uploaded it and I got all these people replying saying, do this again, this was really entertaining. It was really fun. It was on a Wednesday and I said, well, maybe I'll do a midweek rambler next week too. And it became a thing where I was just every week I would sit down and the reason I've been able to do it is to consistently stay with it

is there's zero prep. It requires no advance where it's literally like, okay, I've got 40 minutes now. I'm going to sit down and talk for 20 of that into the camera. And I don't know what I'm going to talk about. And the other 20 minutes is my time. That's all advanced post-production.

A lot of like punching in and out, that kind of editing, you know. But anyway, so I was like, well, what am I gonna call this thing? And, you know, people often come up to me and they say, are you doing any more TV right now? And I say, not exactly, because I was doing this thing. So I just called it Not Exactly TV.

And it's kind of taken off. There's like, I got over, I got to about like 6,000 subscribers now. Wow. And yeah, you can sign up for free. The global mail best seller list. Yeah, it would. It probably would. That's amazing.

But yeah, you can either join for free, like follow along for free and you'll get like one video a month or you can become a paid like subscriber and then every week wherever I am, like I just, I set up in hotel rooms when I'm on the road and I record the little videos talk about where I am, what I'm doing and what adventures we've been up to on the road. And it's been really fun. And like I said, it's just something I can do with no prep. I love that the, like the premise behind it, my promise to you is that I will not do any prep.

That, so I can live up to that very easily. Well, that's not nothing to brag about. We haven't prepared for an episode in 17 years. Look, you were just going through your notes before the show. That's true. I do need a thing to talk about. Yeah, we get you as a pre-interview that you give us some fun anecdotes. But anyway, yeah, so it's cool. And if anybody, I'll come up with, I'll think of a thing here. If any of your listeners want to test it out, I'll remind me before we go, before we sign off, I'll try and think of like a, here's how you can, like, if you just email me with like, the subject heading put spy or something I can I'll

sign you up for like what's reasonable three months free three months three months primo where you get this is every week we're getting the videos every week yeah and then if you don't like it if you're like well this stinks it feels like he did no advanced prep at all um then you can either bail or just like, you know, go to the free once a month kind of. It's not exactly TV. That's right. It's not exactly. I don't know what you're expecting. If you're expecting TV, it's not. So you can just go to not exactly dot TV or just go to my website. And then they sign up and you'll come up with a thing by the end of the episode. You'll say

who you despise and... Yeah. Well, the thing by the end of the episode, you'll say who you despise and. Yeah. Well, the thing is, there's no way that I know of, and I'm not the sharpest marble in the pouch when it comes to technology, but there's no, I don't know how to make this offer through the platform. So if you just email me directly at, I have a bunch of email accounts.

I'll come up with which one I think is easiest. Stay tuned for the end of the show, great. You're gonna get an email. You're gonna find out where you can email me. It's very exciting. I know, I used to be very, I used to feel very personal. If someone, well, I can't let my email address out. And then how many people is just their name at gmail.com?

Not me for sure. Dave Shumka won. Yeah, I admire somebody that is able to just sit and talk off the top of their head. Mark Merrin does it every week where it's like, you know he's not following a script, and he's just talking and he can just talk. Don't Burs podcast is like that too, right? Where he just sits down alone with a microphone

and goes off. Yeah, but like, yeah, Mark Maron, who's listening to that part. Oh, gauntlet thrown down. He's got a name of a guest that he's got on that. Like you can read it when you download it. A couple of months ago, Sophie Buddle was a guest on his podcast,

and she mentioned me, and we know each other for years and years. He goes, oh yeah, the guy with the beard. I was like, all right. All right, fuck me, I guess. I guess. Me and my beard. So yeah, do you just like, you don't think of, you don't have a notion, just you sit down and then blah.

Well, I go, sometimes I do. Sometimes I'm like, like I was, I was on my way home and I knew I was going to be recording a not exactly TV episode. And on the way home, I walked by like a window of a bakery and there was a guy sitting in there looking at his phone, eating a muffin. And it was such a, he looked like rat boy. I'd never seen a guy eat a muffin like this before. He was a big strapping guy, but he was eating it like a little rat face rat boy, you know? And I was like, Oh God, I got to talk about that. I can't get to the microphone fast enough.

So, and sometimes I try standup bits. I usually tell people ahead of time. So I'm not like trying to surreptitiously weave in, I'm very upfront. I say, here's something I'm thinking about. I think this could maybe be- Why don't they make the plane out of the black box? I'll say this, here's something I think might find its way into my stand-up act.

And it's sort of like, it helps me to hammer out the wording of it if I'm just doing it to an audience in a microphone. And some of those things that I've come up with on the not exactly TV have gone on to be chunks in my stand-up act. Oh, nice. That's a nice... So it's kind of, people are very interested in that because they get to see the process.

And there was one time where I did the same thing two weeks in a row, I'd come back and say, okay, I think I know how to make this better. I was a little wordy last time. What if I did it like this? He didn't exactly look like a rat. It was more like a marsupial. Awesome, boy.

Yeah, it's, I do. I admire anybody that's able to just go and, and, uh, go and just, you could do it. And I tried it. I was on a radio station and I had to pre prepare everything. Cause otherwise you just, you wouldn't get to a point to jump out at, which I think people that are in radio all the time, like they know like, and there's the end of the story, here comes the- And you have to be comfortable with like a little bit of silence. Yeah. Like you say the thing and then you're like, I can hear my own breath. Well, the nice thing about this kind of thing is, you know, there is, you're not live on the radio. I am, if there's like, if I bite my tongue or I say something stupid or there's

a giant swath of dead air, I can carve that out. Do you ever bite your tongue? Oh, all the damn time. While you're talking? On stage, I do it. Like during my professional stand up comedy. You have to go, ow. Yeah, I just, like, there's no hiding it. Nothing's worse.

So I just say, God, I bit my tongue. Yeah. But I've had it like kneecap full bits, where like you're leading, you're going to the set up, you're working towards the punchline, bite your tongue. And you're like, oh, I just bit my tongue. And you've kneecapped the whole joke and you just got a bail on it.

And it's such a betrayal. It is. Is you tongue-and-teeth? You guys know each other. Yeah. I think Gene Simmons ever does it on stage. Norm MacDonald used to do that bit about like, I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often, you know?

Yeah. Because it's just like surrounded by teeth and they don't know what the hell they're biting. They got no sense. They don't know if it's my tongue or a hunk of pork. It should be happening 20 times a day, you'd think. Have you seen the video of the guy trying to put various things in the closing backdoor of the Tesla?

Oh yeah. He like tries a banana and it goes right through the banana. Then he tries a hot dog. It doesn't go through the hot dog, but it does go through his finger. Crunch. I was trying to get something out of the, I have an automatic. Bragg. Hatch on the back of my car. Yeah.

And I was trying to get something out of it. But there was something like I was parked back, I backed into my spot and it was going against the wall. So I like hit the button to open the thing. I knew it wouldn't open all the way. And I tried to like, I had to get something out of my bag really quickly while it was opening.

And then it closed immediately on my arm. But I was like, certainly it won't. It won't jump this off. It won't keep crashing. Like it beeps because it's been obstructed and then it beeps the other way. Cause it's been, but it was, it went back and forth a few times.

Oh boy. So now it's basically chewing on your arm. That was fine though. Yeah. Did you get the thing you needed? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. What was it? I don't know.

Oh, it was hockey pucks. A first aid kit. Ironically, it was a first aid kit he was reaching for. I don't know how often you ride the train, but there's always people making the last, like putting their wrists through the door to get it to stop. Like not even getting the majority of their torso in, just like, well, I hope it bounces off from my wrist. It always does. Yeah, elevators are cool with it. Yeah, yeah, elevators are good.

Convenience stores doors, not at all. They'll slam right on you. Really? The automatic ones? Yeah, maybe it's just, maybe I'm taking my time. Yeah, if you're gonna dawdle, you take your life into your own hands if you're dawdling. Yeah, there's a video online of a woman standing reading her phone at the bottom of

an escalator. She doesn't realize that she's not going ever. Like everybody's walking up because it's a broken escalator. That's enthralling whatever she's got on her phone. That's pretty enthralling. Not exactly TV. Yeah, it might be one of my paid subscribers. She was watching exactly TV eating a muffin like a rat boy.

God, what pizza muffin. Can I ask you what the next book is about in broad strokes? Um, yeah, in broad strokes, like again, it's another dark and violent psychological thriller. That's my genre. Yeah. That's what I bring to the table. It's what I like to read, so it's not surprising, I guess, that that's what I write about.

So it's about a touring guy, a touring hot dog critic. Oh, as far as the setup, I am in. Can I invest in this? Touring hot dog critic. Not one of these local hot dog critics. Well, he's got to have every hot dog in Canada. In broad strokes, it's about a guy who, in broad strokes, it's about a rich and famous failure.

It's sort of the concept of can you be a rich and famous failure? And it's a guy who became rich and famous by being a host of a game show, a TV game show. But he's also like a classically trained, like a really good actor. But he took this audition for his game show host as a guy in his early 30s and sort of because his agent was going to drop him if he didn't. And he lands the gig and it sort of becomes a golden cage. He gets a lot of money, the show's a big hit and for 15 years he's the host of this TV game show. Now the show's done and he wants to become a you know a dramatic actor but nobody will take him seriously right and because he's just tv game show guy and so it becomes sort of what are you willing to do

to change people's perceptions of who you are and it how far will you go to pursue your dream. And he's kind of, he's, he starts working with a disenfranchised screenwriter who is basically saying we can set you up. We just got to change people's perception of who you are. And they contrive these situations that show them in a darker, edgier light, but it keeps getting worse and worse. And he's like, I didn't want it to go this far, you know, but but So it's yeah, it's about that's well like how far are you willing to go to chase your dream Brent you big game show guy I enjoy game shows. What's your I feel like are we We're in an era of game shows where everything is a the floor is a video screen the wall is a video screen uh i i long for a simpler time yeah like i feel like uh with kind of like name that

tune and uh they're huge yeah they're just like so big like this like, have you watched the floor? No. Oh, the floor is like a hundred people on a floor. Right. They each have their own square. The square is like animated. Okay. That they stand on and then, but the game itself is the stupidest.

Like, I want to take over this guy's square of the floor. Well, you're going to have to face off with him in the category of like kitchen utensils. And then you stand, he just suddenly beats him to death with a mallet. And then you're just like standing squaring off against each other and they just show kitchen utensils and you just have to name them faster. And it's like for risk. Race maker. And it is like, it's like all this setup for like something a baby could do. Yeah. And like it used to be that a game show host was a game show host and that's what they

were known for. Yeah. But now it's like somebody famous is like a game show host and that's not weird anymore. Oh, by the way, the floor is hosted by Rob Lowe. Is it really? Yeah. Just to be clear, it is weird. It's still very weird. People don't, they want to think it's not weird,

but it's very weird. Yeah, I grew up a game show guy. I love definition. Now, my father was crazy good at definition. It probably predates. Do you have any memory of definition? I know that the theme song is the, but doo-doo-doo-doo.

Yeah, the Quincy Jones. The Austin Powers music. And did Alex Trebek host it before? No, he was concentration. Perry. Winkle? No, Perry was his last name. Jim Perry.

He hosted a few different game shows. He was a dual Canada, US citizen. But he, so he hosted definition. And it was sort of like, you know, it would be like, so the definition is being afraid to eat at KFC. And then they would have like the spaces for the letters, right? And so my dad would just be like, I remember this one example sticks out because that's what it was, right? Being afraid to eat at KFC and dad was like chickening out. And he could do that all the time. And it was sort of the running family joke was like, we would put dad on a plane and fly him to Toronto on definition

if he wouldn't just win a box of rice or rum. You can't get your money back on a Canadian game show. So $80. Did you ever, uh, the Sean Cullin, Corky and the Juice Pigs, um, on their album, they had two game show announcers meet on the street and then they do two Canadian game show announcers meet on the street. How are you doing? Uh, I've been doing a lot better since I got my brand new coat. Pete Slauson

Lawrence Morgensen used to do the, you want a new carburetor. Pete Slauson That, but you just, I should have brought this up. I didn't think of it until you just said, I just recorded my first album. In Calgary at the Bella concert hall, we recorded first album. In Calgary at the Bella Concert Hall, we recorded my very first comedy album. This is crazy. 37 years into my career. But like, I remember it's, famously you didn't put out an album because you didn't figure out enough. You were in a fight with your record company like Prince. Yeah, that's right. But why, like, because I remember you kind of saying,

like, then your act at that time is gone. Like, what's the purpose of putting out an album? And so why now? Well, sort of why now I got approached by a company to see if you want to do it. So that's great. It takes the heat off me trying to produce my album. Yeah. And I don't know, I was just thinking, yeah, like now is a good time to do it.

And I was sort of working on a bunch of new material and stuff. And so I thought, okay, now is the time to get some of this out into the world. And it was being produced by a label. So yeah, let's do it. And I was already booked to play the Bella Concert Hall, which is a great venue in Calgary. I'd never played there before. I've only ever seen pictures. And so I was like, why don't we,

cause they said, start thinking about venues where you'd like to do it. And I got back to them and I said, well, I'm already playing this amazing venue. Why don't we record it there? So, and I was playing left bridge the night before. And so we recorded left bridge and Calgary. And, you know, with the idea being it's gonna be 99%

probably from the Calgary show, but a little safety in the left bridge show. I don't know when that's gonna come out. And it's an album, not an album and a special. Yeah, just all audio. Straight out. Straight up audio. You grew up in Calgary, if I'm not mistaken.

The Bella concert hall. It's new. You grew up in Calgary, if I'm not mistaken. The Bella Concert Hall. It's new. Oh, it's new, okay. Yeah, it wasn't around when I was there, but. I was gonna ask if you ever, what acts you saw there growing up. The Bella, oh, I mean, you can only imagine

probably where Aliankovic would have played there. Yeah, it is a really cool, it's a beautiful venue. And it's one of those ones where you got people up on the, like the Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets, there are people up in the little box seats up around you as well. Nice. Very cool.

I just played the Capitol Theater in Moncton. Have you ever played there? I realized when I stepped out on stage for the soundcheck this time, I was like, oh yeah, I played this place as part of a Just For Laughs tour because it stood out in my head. It's, I think it's from 1904, I think it was built, like an old vaudeville house or something.

And it has just been kept up. It's so gorgeous. And like the whole ceiling is like paintings, like in molding, Sistine Chapel kind of. It's crazy gorgeous. I put pictures of it on my Instagram when I was there. But yeah, that was a beautiful, beautiful theater. There's a lot of great old theaters in this country.

Yeah, yeah. Vaudeville was a big part. I actually talk about this in huge. Vaudeville was a, Canada was a big part of the Vaudeville stage. The guy who owned the Pantages chain of theaters had them running through Canada too. And so often they would do, Canada would sort of be the testing ground, right? Or acts to see if you, if they're going to put them out in the, you know, in LA and New York and all that kind of

stuff. And so Winnipeg was a big center. And like Winnipeg is where George Burns met Charlie Chaplin in Winnipeg. Bob Hope learned how to golf in Winnipeg. It's this weird little showbiz hub. Yeah, George Burns, he was funny as an old man. I didn't really get his appeal as a younger, Gracie was the show. Yeah, that's right. He was the straight man too, Gracie, but he was a very smart business guy. He was an incredible producer and he sort of figured out how to create television. He was one of the radio people. You know, when TV first came along, they went to the radio folks and said, okay, we want you, you're a successful radio show, do a TV show show and nobody knew how to do a TV show and George sort of He as much as anybody

George and later Desi and is really hammered out how to make television. Yeah Wow And now you're making a show all your own I think we've all learned a little something. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Now you're married to Lucille Ball. What's going on with me? Well, a couple things. Okay. Well, a few weeks ago we had a municipal election.

Yes. And the lines were too long. Did you get an own vote? I did. Huge long line, an hour and a half. Mine was only 25 minutes. And then so now- You're in a neighborhood that doesn't care. You're right. Now we're having a federal election and they had advanced voting this past weekend.

We did that. And I did that on, I went on Friday and there was a huge line and I was like, ah, maybe I'll go Friday afternoon. It was all, it was a four day weekend it was Easter weekend and I the line was pretty long in the morning so I didn't go and then Friday afternoon I went and I was like okay the lines moving pretty slow it should be like maybe an hour and a half and then a woman goes through the line okay anyone on on poll number 412 with the last name ending, or last name starting N to Zed? And I was like, that's me.

And she's like, yeah, that line's a little shorter. And she brought me inside, no one in that line. Oh, really? So if you're in the back half for some reason, if you're in the back half of the alphabet, no one showed up. Oh, really? So I was the only person in that alphabet. No one showed up. Oh, really? So I was the only person in that line.

From N to Z? N to Z in my poll. I'd say all your Newtons, your Smiths. Oh my God, yeah. All the, you know, O'Connell, O'Donnell. That's right, all the Irish. Does anybody here Irish? I don't think you're allowed to ask that actually. I did like in our line, there was two women that had walkers that just bypassed the line.

Didn't ask can I get through, just push their way through the line. I was like, yeah, this is how it gets done everybody. The oldest trick in the book. Well, I mean. That's right, you see her skipping up. Her inflatable locker. I was a little disappointed, no stickers for voting. Yeah, I didn't get a sticker.

Now you mention it. Huh. The other one was fun, the city one. Yeah. This federal election, and I, you know, I've been around a while, not that I'm a real political hawk, not that I'm really on top of these things,

but the swing, I don't think anybody's ever seen this swing in two months. A 24 point swing, right? Cause the conservative, it was runaway, it was gonna be the hugest conservative majority in the history of the nation. Yeah. And then-

And then Donald Trump said, hey, I might invade you guys. Yeah. And Justin Trudeau quit. And those two things- Yeah. Flip-flopped, like in less than two months. It was a 24-point swing with the liberals now looking like they're going to win. At the time of the recording, we are five days away from the actual election. Oh yeah, now we'll know. So listeners, now is your time to tell us who won. Quiet for five seconds.

Whoa. Shit. If I could think of my email address, I'd let you know how to get a hold of me and tell me. No, don't you do not tempt people with that. Yeah, I wonder because for people who don't know in Canada, we have more than just the two political parties. We have about 36 political parties of varying degrees of relevance. And there's one that I think only has one or two seats, which is the Green Party.

And I was in her Elizabeth Mays riding over the weekend. And I was like, Oh, yeah, that's right. The Green Party, I forgot all about them in this. The NDP, you got your block, you got your People's Party of Canada. There are only four on my ballot. Oh yeah, no Peter's, Peter people's party of Canada. No people's party of Canada, no natural law party. Oh God. Natural law party. When I was first paying attention to politics

was the year Critchian won. And the- Sorry, I just wanted to say, I saw him this past weekend. Jean-Cretien? Yeah. We were in, Jamie and I were on tour in the East Coast. We were in Prince Edward Island and we were going into the airport and the carpools, a couple of cops get out and then like a couple of thugs and then Jean-Cretien. Wow.

And so- Did he choke you? Yeah. They should win a good handshake. We were both like, hey, that's John Crutchen. And one of his handlers saw us noticing him and actually like tapped him on the shoulder and said, those- These guys are a threat. Neutralized. Tazed. We were immediately tazed. No, he came over and like shook our hand and you know. Right. Wow.

He's sort of basking in the like elder statesman, you know, and so we were on the same flight going to Halifax. That's cool. Anyway, back to Dave's. Oh, yeah. Well, no, that year I was paying attention to politics. I think we had to write a, I had to pick up a political party and write about them. I did the reform party because I thought Preston Manning had a funny voice.

He did. Famously funny voice. He did. Famously funny voice. But that was also Doug Henning was the leader of the natural law party and their yoga flying platform. Yeah, because I remember in the political ads he was sitting like cross-legged floating maybe above a carpet or something. In the world of politics, everything is magic. Kids invested in politics. That's right. You got voted.

Hey, a little folio. I'm having some prostate problems, everybody. So that was one thing. I'm an older fellow. I voted, loved it. Yeah. And the other thing that's happening. On the ballot, did you do an X or a check?

Oh, I did a little smiley face. Nice. I think I did a check. I think I did an X. I did X. Yeah, I did a little smiley face. Nice. I think I did a check. I think I did an X. I did X. Yeah, I feel like, but then halfway through, I was like, did I do it right? And then, so I think my balance maybe isn't.

Spoiled. Spoiled rotten. Yeah, spoiled rotten. And then, so the other thing that's happening is my beloved hockey team, the Vancouver Canucks, Brent's beloved hockey team as well, they're done for the year. Out of the playoffs.

Not in the playoffs at all. They were conscientious objectors to the playoffs. But I realize how much more TV I watch when there's no hockey on it anymore. Or like I can, I'm free. Yeah, exactly. This is a gift. You can suddenly, now you can explore all the culture has done. I mean it sucks, but yeah now

It's 82 nights a year. I watched hockey and now I have all these extra nights. I can just Start I'm rewatching better call Saul. What are you watching? I'm watching better call Saul. Yeah, I What right I'm rewatching the first season and then I will continue watching the other seasons. And then there's things on my list. Yeah. Like what are you gonna? Well, I want to try to watch Andor again. Did you ever watch Andor?

No. Is that Star Wars? It's a Star Wars. Apparently it's the most grown up Star Wars thing. It's And slash Or. An improv. And or. It's written by the guy who wrote Michael Clayton, which would be a joke if it wasn't

true. Yeah, it's the grown up Star Wars thing by the guy who did Michael Clayton. So it's a lot of procedurals. I think so. But the other thing I did yesterday, I went to go see a movie. Nice. I went to go see the movie Sinners. Sinners. Now, is this a matinee you're taking in?

This was a matinee. It was Tuesday. How many people in the theater? Well, they now do this week and next week, Cheap Tuesday. So $5 tickets. Shit. And so I wanted to see Black Bag, but I was like, that's not going to be full. I want to go to a movie that's full. Yeah.

So I picked the number one movie in the nation, Sinners. I haven't heard of either of these films. Oh, you... I've heard of Black Bag, but I haven't heard of Sinners. Sinners, you'd love Sinners. Yeah. It's a vampire movie. It's got Michael B. Jordan as twins. Well, that's pretty good. Oh, yeah, I did. I saw a poster for it. It says you might be Jordan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and it's

I It's not scary. I I thought I heard vampire movie I thought oh, this is gonna be like a horror movie and I'm gonna be I want to be in a full theater where everyone's going It's more like oh, there's a bunch of vampires and, ooh, it's going to be a big confrontation. Yeah, we've got to fight our way out. Us versus them. It's politicking.

It's mostly politicking. Yeah, it's like getting in the workings of the vampire world. There really are kind of like, just give us this one guy and we'll leave you alone. Yeah. And I watched a movie the other night called, oh crap, now I'm going to forget what it was called. Jaws? Yep. I've heard of that one.

Not Annabelle, but I'll remember it. Anyways, it's about a young girl and you're like, it's just the countdown. When does she turn to a monster? When does she turn to a monster? Is she a ghost the whole time? You only, do you only watch horror at this point? No, I watched.

Well, I was going to say I watched something last night. It was a horror though. Yeah, have you, do you watch horrors ever? Because I know you like mystery thriller. Yeah, I read more horror than I watch horror. I grew up like, you know, I think I saw some horror movie when I was a little kid and scared the hell out of me and gave me nightmares. I was like, yeah, this is not for me. And I didn't watch horror movies for a long time. And then, you know, as a guy in my late 20s, I sort of accidentally was watching a movie. I didn't know what it was. It was on TV. I started watching and realized, oh crap, this is a horror movie. Now I'm about 15 minutes into 20 minutes into it. And I was like, okay, buckle up. And it was not that scary, you know, but I enjoyed

it. And so from that point on, I'm not averse to watching horror movies, but I'm more, yeah, I definitely, I like to read horror. I love to read, especially like ghost stories or- I'm reminded of that kids in the hall sketch about the guy who writes the scary book. Yeah. And it's called Boo. He opens the cover, oh.

And then he's killing himself. Like, what am I going to have to come up with a follow up? And it's called, there's a spider on your shoulder. And the mother is just like, you did it again. Yeah. I so this sinners yes, horror, no horror. Not horror. Not horror. Vamp horror. Vampire.

Vampire, okay. I thought with vampire, I thought it was kind of like horror or like sultry romance. It is, there's a little- They're very sexy. They're vampires in the cinema world. There are two sex scenes and boy howdy. And it's the two twin characters going at it.

Each twin- There's no rules for vampire. Well, each two I guess your sex scene. Oh really? Yeah nice But it's there's one so I was in Jordan B's contract to sex scene I'll play the twins each of my characters gets the sex scene All right, both get a sex thing It's got there's one incredible shot that is also very silly, where like the whole, it takes place in the 30s

and they're starting up a juke joint and they got blues music and they're like, there's, throughout history in all kinds of cultures, there are people who can harness the music and they can pierce the veil of time, but they're followed by evil. Oh, shit. That's the opening thing in the movie. And then in the middle of this juke joint, the guy's playing guitar and there's this incredible shot, like, I feel like it's

one shot just traveling through this whole party of everyone dancing, but then there's, like, he's pierced the veil of time, and then suddenly there's, like, an African tribesman beating a drum in the juke joint, and then, like, a funk musician with a guitar, and then a DJ playing hip-hop beats, and you hear all the music mixing together and as cool as the idea is, it just feels like a Bud Light commercial. It's also like you really have to- Spud's McKenzie is there dancing. God, I miss Spud's McKenzie.

We were a better world when there was Spud's McKenzie. Yeah, I feel like every movie should have to do the courtesy of being like, here's the rule of this movie. We're giving it up front. Every 12 years a wolf comes around, go. Oh yeah, yeah. And go. Instead of saddling somebody with all the exposition, just here, okay, so we're all in the same page. Yeah, just dive in. That was the somebody with all the like exposition, just to hear, okay, so that we're all in the same page.

Just dive in. That was the problem with all the Spider-Man iterations was like every time we got to learn how. Oh yeah. I like that. I just kind of spritzed off something I was doing this last run of shows. I was talking about how, like I do a bit about how when I was a kid, I was a goalie, right? When I played hockey as a kid, I was a goalie, but I knew early on that, you know, my future wasn't going to be in the NHL. And then I just spritzed up, unless I got bit by a radioactive

goalie, this wasn't going to happen. I was like, that's one of those things you're like, yeah, that can stay, that could stay in the act. Charlie had that joke, Charlie DeMare's about when you're a fat kid, you got to be funny and goalie. But yeah, one of the vampire movies I like that I watched, they change, you know, the rules change. They are afraid of garlic. They're not. Oh yeah.

And the one guy thinks he saved himself by wearing a crucifix around his neck. She takes it off and starts stabbing him with it. Wow, insult to injury. There is a scene in this one where they're like, they've got like pickled garlic. And so she pours, she like sprays pickled garlic on a vampire and it burns them. Yeah, it's an original fright night. There was a powerful scene in the original Fright Night where the, the guy pulls out the cross to the vampire.

I don't remember. And the vampire just reaches out and crushes the cross. Cause it's like, this doesn't mean anything unless you believe. Ah. You don't believe in this, in the, in the power of the cross, right? So it means nothing. Did you know that Russell Crowe made two unrelated movies where he played an exorcist in the last in two years like he made the pope's exorcist

which R.I.P the pope yeah that's true I was looking at this exorcist and then he played a another exorcist a year later in exorcism. Maybe it's just like being typecast now. You're so good as an exorcist is the one thing. Why him? Yeah. Yeah. Like the movie, why him? Yeah. So check it out. They also they do a thing where they all to make sure each other isn't a vampire.

They all have to eat a clove of garlic. It's funny. One of them is like, but I don't like garlic. Suspicious. a clove of garlic and one of the it's kind of funny one of them's like I don't like garlic yeah I like a good vampire movie I like everybody's got a twist on it and but also come up with a new monster everybody let's do let's do a new brand new monster you know I was thinking the same thing the other day well there's one person in the movie who is like, she's like, well, they're all in Mississippi and they're like, oh, she's been doing that Louisiana mojo magic.

And she makes a mojo bag, which is just like, you know, warding off bad spirits or whatever. And she's like, oh, I know what these people are. She's a hate. Okay. And they're like, oh, okay, what's a hate? And then like five minutes later, she's like, no, I'm wrong, they're vampires.

We were talking the last week, I'm going on the bonus podcast maybe that the guy who directed Weekend at Bernie's passed away. And I was reading what happened because the first one he gets, he gets killed and these guys have to like animate him to get a bank account or something like that. And the second one, they take his corpse to a voodoo person and they do voodoo on him and he can walk around but only if music's playing. So they play music and he gets a bomb.

Because it's like, how would you make a sequel of that? There you go. Ask and answer. He's dead again. Yeah. And because he didn't have any lines, he got paid as an extra. Oh, Hollywood's cruel. Anyway, check out Sinners if you like that kind of thing. I don't think I spoiled anything.

Yeah. And go and see any movie where a little girl is going to turn into something. What's going on with you? What's going on with you? Um, uh, what is going on with me? Oh, I went to a nice island off the coast of BC called Salt Spring Island. You've been there before. I've been there before. It's Sally's parents live there in a very nice house at the top of a hill. And, uh, my thing.

Oh, just, I got a reminder nine minutes ago. Ask who they hate. I hate Sally's parents. There it is Sally's parents. My enemies for so long. I'm just going to estimate this segment of the show in 12 minutes, ask me to ask them who they hate. I had forgotten about it, to be honest. But the thing that I they both her parents are like, they're basically like frontiers people, like they do everything. They don't have, like they're gardening, they're chopping down trees.

It's, they've got a cabin that they've like decorated in a run and it's just, oh, they're completely. So I think Sasquatches on a regular basis. They get all their stuff like from an exchange where they, you know, get this piece and that piece and do it all. They're very handy and very good at that type of living. I am not. I'm the opposite of that.

I'm a Mr. City slicker. I don't know how. I'll lock the doors and people will be like, nobody's been up this path except us for 500 years. But I also find new and inventive ways of hurting myself and embarrassing. I try to do them as embarrassing as possible. The first one, the first time I was out there. I hurt myself. Today is how you should sing after you, you know. When I tell Sally.

Impale your weaning. I actually hurt himself banging loudly on the piano. Bling, bling, hurt myself. The first time I was there, I fell into a ditch. And I fell into a ditch that was filled with like an equivalent of Poison Ivy. Okay. So I had to have, if you can't get Poison Ivy, just get the equivalent.

That's right. If you can't get brand name Poison Ivy. The Canadian equivalent. Designer imposters of poison ivy. Sally knew from some maybe like scouts or some camp thing. Yeah, she pissed all over it. Surrendered everything. Now for the solution.

She found like there's a leaf called like frog leaf or something, and you apply it to the skin and it makes it not itch because of poison. It worked like a charm, but I had to be sitting around for hours with my arms straight out. We're letting this do its thing. So nice and humiliating, really good,

tops to our stuff. I can't remember, I've definitely scalded myself in the shower there. And... Why is it so hot? It seems like it would be the other way around. Like you couldn't get a hot enough shower in this sort of spring rust scenario.

The shower has two, like it's hot and cold. It's capped into the like a lava source. Yeah, it's in a lava source. Yeah, they're above a good well, a good lava source. Cold water and lava. You gotta get the balance just right. And like they say, and I don't, I still don't know what it means.

I've never asked. They have instead of a septic tank, they have a septic field. And I'm like, and it's where people walk around. I'm like, should we be walking around? We know what's right under this field, right guys? What a city select. I truly don't know what a septic tank is.

No, it's just, you don't have access to sewer systems. So you're filling this big gigantic tank. And then every so often somebody comes with basically a truck that pumps it out. Yeah. What a day that is. I see people in the city like doing that with porta potties. Yeah. Yeah.

Fantastic. Just sit down and watch for a while. Enjoy. But yeah, so this time around, I thought, why not? They have a dog, lovely dog, who brought a frisbee over to me. I was like, okay, I'll throw a frisbee. Now you're allergic to the dog and all of its slobber. Yeah. But I thought if I grab the frisbee and I can toss it, she didn't want to let go of the frisbee,

not even a little bit. So I was holding on to try and get it out of her mouth and the thing twisted around and I thought I nearly broke my finger. So. Frisbee avulsion. Yeah, and it's just like. Like Jimmy Fallon.

I thought you were gonna say you threw the frisbee on the dog. I had no, she wouldn't let go, so I had no choice but to throw the frisbee and the dog. I had no, she wouldn't let go, so I had no choice but to throw the frisbee and the dog. Now her parents are mad at me. No, that dog's not going anywhere. That's a strong dog. And so yeah, I hurt my finger.

I hurt my daughter today. Yeah, so Sally again with the frontier medicine made me a splint out of a popsicle stick and some tape. Which finger? This one. For the listener, of course. But actually it is this one.

It was the old bird. But yeah, it worked. The little splint worked. But having to wear it around. Sally sounds like a fantastic person to have around. Yes. Like, you know, 11 times over if it wasn't for her. She reads a lot.

So I assume just some knowledge gets through that I don't know. But yeah, Sally, she is good to have around. Did she do like scouts or anything? I don't think so. Brownies? She may have done brownies. Yeah, maybe she did do that I don't brownies is now called embers. Why? Some kids were like, hey, I'm brown

Okay, we'll call you the weighties But it works if my fingers all it still hurts but it's all one piece and it's not bruised like it was. But just having to wear that around the whole weekend, just really, it is the one guy who hurt himself. Nobody else has ever hurt themselves here. And like they're chopping wood and chainsaw down trees. I can't even get a frisbee away from their tongue. I remember once I went to Galeano Island.

Oh yeah. And where we went, it was just very muddy and I was wearing flip-flops and my flip-flop got stuck in the mud and I was like, ha ha, surely it can't be that stuck. And I lifted my foot, tore the flip-flop. Oh no! Asunder and twisted my back so badly that I was like,

I was like, does anyone have any muscle relaxants? Any Volterra in Galiana? Here, eat this pine cone. Is it like Robaxacet or Volterra in Ebbelgel? Yeah, I grew up in a rural farming community, right? But my girlfriend in high school is from like a tiny little hamlet outside of my hometown of Tisdale and the people in her hometown, like her brothers and the other people in town would call me city slicker because I was from Tisdale, Saskatchewan.

Yeah. That's how like the remote rural situation she lived in. They were like, look at this guy. What do you think you're better than us? Cause you're from Tisdale. Tisdale. Oh, what was, so my, Abby's family is from a town in Ontario called?

Toronto. I don't, why don't I remember it? Well, I don't know. Where's Deb DiGiovanni from? Oh, I don't I remember it? Well, I don't know. Where's Deb DiGiovanni from? Oh, I don't remember. Yeah, well. Well. It's the next town over.

Oh, Ingersoll's where the family's from. Anyway, that's the next town over. And they thought that was the fancy town because it had slanted parking spots on the main street. That is pretty fancy, hard to argue. Yeah. When you grew up on a farm, did you learn how to do any of this? No. I often had friends who were on farms.

I would come out, I would hang out, and they would try to put me to work, help out with, and I was like, such a hindrance, such a liability to, I didn't know. My girlfriend in high school, her brothers, their big game was to point at different pieces of farm equipment, ask me what I thought it was. And then they would kill themselves laughing. You know, I'd be like, it's like a hay thing. Ah, you think it's a hay thing? That was their fun game. Have you seen the classic Farsight comic cow tools?

It's a bit- I've seen many cow related Farsight cartoons, certainly. There's an abundance of, he's got an obsession. He's got the cows, the nerdy kid, the lady with the beehive hair, certainly. There's an abundance of, he's got an obsession. He's got the cows, the nerdy kid, the lady with the beehive hair, dude. It's this, and it's like, it's got its own Wikipedia page because it is just, I guess, so esoteric or whatever.

And it's just a cow with four shapeless kind of... Well, one's clearly supposed to be a saw. Yeah, that's kind of like a twig looking thing. And there's been much debate for 40 years about what's the joke. Yeah, that's beyond me, that one. Yeah, what the hell is the joke there? But I now get like, there's a Facebook group

that is all about memes based on just cow tools. And I love that. And I I'm not a member of the Facebook group, but Facebook seems to know that I pause every time it comes across my page. So here you go. Here's more. That is funny because yeah, it's like, you know, what is the what is the joke? Why does the one look like a saw?

And they can't all be fantastic. Like that hit pretty high hit ratio. Gary Larson had a pretty good high hit ratio. If one out of a thousand made no goddamn sense, I'm going to let him have that. Yeah. Larson apparently in response to the controversy, Larson issued a press release clarifying that the thrust of the cartoon was simply that if a cow were to make tools, they would lack something in sophistication. Nailed it. Hard to argue.

Well, do you guys want to move on to some over-heards? Sure. Hey, we're the Eurovangelists and it's the most wonderful time of the year because the Eurovision Song Contest is next week. 37 countries will face off in Basel, Switzerland to determine who has the best song in Europe. On our show, we've argued about all the songs and we are heading to Europe to bring you our reactions straight from Switzerland. And on our next episode, we're going to predict who's going to survive the semi-finals, compete

in the grand final and ultimately win Eurovision 2025. Albania, baby! It's Malta. Latvia! But we won't be alone. Glenn Weldon of NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour will be with us, sharing his own predictions and telling us why we're wrong.

So make sure you're ready for Eurovision by listening to Eurovangelist on Maximum Fun, available everywhere you get podcasts. You never know what you'll learn more about on the Celebrity Trivia Show Go Fact Yourself. For over 150 episodes, we've welcomed guests like DJ Jazzy Jeff, Audie Cornish, and Andy Richter to tell us why they love what they love

and then get quizzed on it. And past quizzes have included some pretty unexpected topics like Reverse painting. The perfect flip turn while swimming. Prince's house party playlist from that one episode of new girl and so much more Plus our guests meet surprise experts in their topics like the time we met an actual celebrity cow So listen to go fact yourself twice a month every month on maximum fun do it for the cow

Over heard over heard Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o Oh, it's good stuff. I'm going to look up who those people are. We always like to hear what you've overheard, and we always like to start with the guest. Brent, do you have an overheard? I do. And I hope I get the phrasing of this, because this is one of those things that happened, like, you know, I don't know, a year and a half ago. As somebody who I'm in that group of know, year and a half ago, as somebody who I'm in that group of people who have returning guests as we've, yes, I think returning guests to this show in their life will hear something go, okay, I got to save that for next time I'm on, right? And that was this, but they're about to spend a long time, but anyway, high drama behind this one, I'm sure. I'm sure there's high drama behind it. Because I was standing on the corner waiting to,

like for the walk light. And these people passed by me, they didn't ignore the walk light. They passed by, you know, like they were going around the corner where I was standing on. And so I hear, as Rich Hall used to call, a splatch of conversation. You used to call a splash of conversation.

You just hear a splash of conversation. And I cracked up, I remember too partly I cracked up because of the use of the name that just jumped out at me. So this was basically why I hear this guy saying to this woman as they're walking with a good head of steam. He said to her, no, it's not actually that hard, Cindy. That's why you're like right away, you're picked up. It's actually not that hard, Cindy. In fact, it's probably less effort to just help me than it would have been to call the police. And I was like, holy hell, there's high drama behind that. Get this robber off of me. And he was, there was such a righteous sort of like, you know what, it would have been easier to not call the cops and just, but there had to have been like restraining order or something.

Like why call the cops? And why is he calling her up for help? Yeah. If I hope she doesn't call the cops. So it was just always stuck with me like, God, there's a lot of backstory somewhere behind that. The, you have a bit or you had a bit about an old couple that you saw on a plane or something. Yeah. What is the, with the nuts and bolts? Yeah, it was flying from Calgary to Vancouver. And we get on the plane, actually it started before we boarded, we were in the, you know, the boarding lounge area. And it was an older couple like late seventies, early eighties. And the woman was talking to the old guy.

And it just sort of caught my attention because he wasn't saying anything. He was just getting talked at, you know, kind of nonstop, like she was about every thought that she had, she was laying out on this guy. And it continued as we boarded, she talked Adam through the whole boarding process, sat down. They were across the aisle from me. She talked at him nonstop for the whole hour long flight, I didn't hear him say anything.

And then we land in Vancouver and now we're deep planning, we all stand up, right? And he puts on his coat and she says to him, like mid story, she's already telling him something else and he starts to, no, he's holding his coat and she says, she stops stirring, she goes, why are you holding your coat? Why don't you put your coat on? If you put on your coat instead of holding it, you won't have to hold it, you have your hands free. So, he puts on his coat and he starts doing it up and she goes, but don't do it up, it's going to be too hot if you do it up. And he's, the only words I hear him say for the last hour and a half, he says, just go.

Pete and Pete's Laughter. Pete That's been their relationship for 50 years, right? Pete Just go. Those are the magic two words he said, I do and just go. Oh, wow. Yeah, I love that story. That is, yeah. I mean, having kids is a lot of having to be like, well, yeah, no, you do need to go. Well, maybe don't zip it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess this guy was a full-grown to go, well, maybe don't zip it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess this guy was a full grown adult.

There's an Irish comedian, I'm blanking on his name. It's like, it's just like a one word. His name is like one word kind of thing, right? Shameless. Shenanigan or something. Shenanigan. Anyway, I can't think of his name. He's a funny guy though. But he, that was one of his jokes was, why, the only thing we can't determine for ourselves is whether or not we need a jacket. We always need somebody else's input. Do I need a jacket?

Now, don't go over the top with the Irish accent. That was as far as I go. Dave, do you have an overhead? Not really, but this made me laugh. I follow a lot of the local businesses on Instagram. Right. Just so I'm like, oh, what are the new flavors of the ice cream store? Yeah, important to know. And then there's but there's a pizza place a few blocks away and I've never gone.

Oh, yeah. And it but I follow them. Nevertheless, I think their pizza's too good for my family. They don't deserve it. My kids won't eat pizza if it's not- Like pan pizza? Yeah, not garbage. But they also one night a week have an open mic. I love that.

Not comedy, just like singing and guitar. Sure. And there was just a picture someone posted from their account that said, is there anything better than pizza and open mic? It was like a million big pizza on its own. Pizza, no open mic. Pizza and quiet.

I could go for a little pizza and quiet right now. That would be a good name for a restaurant. There's your theme restaurant. Yeah, pizza and quiet. Everybody's gotta hush up like it's a library and just eat your pizza and shut up. It gets a whisperer order. You're served by like a librarian or a monk who's taken a vow of silence. Ninja. But you know, you explain, say one thing that's better a vow of silence. Ninja.

But you know, you explain, say one thing that's better than a pizza and an open mic, I dare you. Well, also, like the stage is right under a TV showing just hockey highlights. So it's always the worst. Like when I was starting out doing stand-up, and when it's like playoff hockey time, and you're like, you got to do your show, you contracted to do the show in some pub, but everybody just wants to watch the hockey game. I did one with, I think, past guest Erica Sigurdsson,

and we were at a bar, and it was a playoff game, and they turned it off and the crowd nearly rioted. So I just got everybody to take a vote like yes we'll have a comedy show after the hockey game or we have to do comedy show now. That's the most thunderous applause I've ever heard in my life for waiting until hockey is over. The best thing I ever did in that scenario was it was over in Victoria at some pub and the Canucks were in the playoffs and so the show is supposed to from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the

show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show from the show comedy. None of us wants it, right? We want to watch the game. But I want to make my hundred bucks. So how about this? I said, we'll bring the, we'll keep the big screen down. We'll show the video, but we'll keep the sound off and I'll commentate. I'll do the play by play.

Oh yeah. And everybody was like, yeah, let's do that. And it went over so great. It was one of the best nights I ever had. So I sat there in a little stool and people were sending me up drinks. I was like cracking wise about what was going on in the game. And then in between periods, I would just do some stand up, mostly crowd work. Right. And then they'd be like, okay, the game's back on. And we'd do the thing. And then the game went into overtime.

Oh, that's awesome. And then the Canucks lost and it was like, good night, everybody. But still, and then people were coming up afterwards going, are you coming back for the next game? That was great. That would be great. That was your standing gig. Yeah, it could have been. Yeah, that's awesome, man. Graham? Mine? No, the question is what's better than pizza and open mind? Pizza and the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on VHS. That's a movie about pizza.

Exactly. So it's perfect pairing. Thematic. Mystic Pizza. Yeah, that's one of the bigger pizza movies. Oh my God, are we gonna have to do our top 50 pizza movie? Warren Pizza. That's another good name for a restaurant.

I'll think of it. I'll meditate on it. Yeah, damn, there's gotta be better ones. Get a slice, go through a movie about getting a slice. Yeah, probably. My overseen is not funny, but it caught everybody off guard. I was in line at the aforementioned ice cream place. Big line, weather's starting starting to turn people were lining up Is this where I vote?

Yeah, somebody who's going to vote gets in there like what? Ice cream place the We're all lined up to get into the ice cream place and this kid goes past us and I've never seen this before he had two tiny And this kid goes past us, and I've never seen this before. He had two tiny skateboards, one in each foot, and he was switching around like, so it was like a cross between a skateboard, roller skate, but instead of it being roller skates like in a line, it was like a ball bearing. So he was able to like switch his feet around and do all this.

Everybody in the line was like, ooh. Like this is- A window into the future. Yeah, it was. It was in the line was like, ooh. Like this is- A window into the future. Yeah, it was, it was one of those things like, I wonder if they just pay this guy to, you know, I'll go all over town. Because he's a busker. Yeah, I've never-

Like the flying pig, the kids in the hall, flying pig, whenever there's a lineup of people being bored, then the flying pig. That's what this was like, it was amazing. And I was just like, it felt like a brand new product I've never seen before, but like had all the elements of other products. And I mean, he skated away, there was no way to find out.

Was this outside? This is outside. Wow, that is a long line. Yeah, and he just zipped past, but every in the line was so impressed. Duly impressed. How old? Probably 16 or 17.

Oh, okay. I was picturing a little snot nose nine year old. No, this was a teen, like somebody you'd want to know. Snot nose? Yeah, yeah. Snot nose teen. But yeah, I feel like I've seen a glimpse into the future of what's gonna be cool for kids.

And I think it's whatever you call these things. Don't know what you would call them. Because they're not skateboards. They're not roller skates they're No, are you looking at other pizza movies? Yeah, do the right thing is a big 30 minutes or less Do the right thing is probably the one right you know when I was joking and I said the top 50 pizza movies

Well TV guy calm has 50 classic pizza scenes in movies Pizza. Oh, yeah, sure Wayne's world. Oh pizza hot on and spaceballs back to the future of part two. They they Rehydrated from home alone. Now you're losing me as we go. Oh you pray love. She I think she eats it. Yeah, she's Slice cuz she's she's having her gear out. Oh, home alone. The pizza delivery guy, pizza delivery guy in Fast Time's Richmond. Yeah, that's going to be home alone to. Anyway, we've done enough.

Yeah, we've yeah, that's fast time. So there it is. Yes, it's got anchovies on it or something. Do you remember who the connects were playing in that playoff game? I kind of think it was L.A., but. I couldn't say for sure. OK. Now, we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it into SPY at maximumfund.org.

And these are all really short. These are really short ones. This is Jay in L.A. all over the map if you want to send one in send it into sby at maximum fun.org and These are all really short. These are really short one This is Jay in LA my wife had some friends over and I happened to walk by and heard one of them say I know I shouldn't say this about a seven and five year old, but those two are fucking bitches The society frowns on this kind of thing, but sometimes it has to be said. Yeah. These kids are fucking bitches. Was he talking about his own kids? Probably.

And like they were away from him long enough that he could finally say it, you know. I of course have two kids and I would never say that. Good. Yeah. Would you say it about any of their friends? We go offline. Oh, their friends?

No, but the girls in their class who aren't their friends. For sure. There you go. See, there's no, it doesn't have to be direct, you know? I mean, oh yeah, some kids that age sure are. Yeah, they suck. And they probably grow up to be sucky adults. Yeah. And have sucky kids himself. Yeah, it's just a snowball of suckiness

This next one comes from Sean F Yesterday my youngest kid nine years old asked me when will I be Gen Z? Stupid kid was there always an obsession with what generation you belong to? I don't think so. No, it started with the boomer. It was boomers and then there was a boomer. Like Generation X was a weird pocket of time where somebody said there's never been a Gen X president.

I'm like, oh yeah, somehow we skipped over that generation. Having a president probably just for That's for the best. Yeah. We haven't skipped anything yet. We haven't had a millennial president. No, but it feels like our- By the way, we don't have a president. No, but I guess what I mean is like, there was Obama,

which was probably on the shoulder of millennial, and then there's two really old guys. No, he's a boomer. He's a boomer. Yeah, he'd be tailing the boomer. Obama's a boomer? Obama's a boomer? Oh, shit, okay, I thought he was a...

He'd be tailing the boomer. Yeah, okay, boomer, thanks Obama. See, same energy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Weird flex, but okay.

This last one comes from Dorothy in Ottawa. This is a sticker on the back of a car. Paul is on the edge of millennial. Well, that's when I thought he was like an elder millennial. No, you're an elder millennial. Yeah, and everybody knows that. They keep throwing it in my face. Those fucking kids.

They're bitches, really. Yeah. Hey, elder millennial. Which Hogwarts house are you in? Slytherin. I've memorized that one thing from Harry Potter in case it comes up. This is a sticker on the back of a car.

MILF? Man, I love frogs. Yeah. Yeah. Did it, nailed it. MILF is a compliment, right? It was maybe an insult at one point, but now it's- I remember there was a movie where, I just thought it was such a funny little exchange where somebody referred to some woman as a MILF and she went, oh, okay.

She was like so genuinely, huh? I had first heard that word in American Pie for Stifler's mom. She was a MILF. Yes, she was it. She was the original MILF. But are we sure that that word, did the screenwriter invent the word MILF. Yes, she was it. She was the original MILF. But are we sure that that word, did the screenwriter invent the word MILF for that movie? Huh, that's a really good question.

Top, look up the top 100 MILF seeds in movies. Etymology, just the etymology of MILF. Yeah. Yeah. Where did MILF come from? Well, I'm not gonna do that right now. I'll look it up. Okay, well. You know, I'm the staycation guy, right? Yes.

If you hate the word staycation, you have me to blame. I had this was a part of a debater's research. Oh, is that right? Yeah. And everybody was like, blown away that that was where it came from. You invented the word staycation? I didn't invent it so much as like I came up with it on my own. It had been used before, like,

you know, when they look up and they go like first use of word, there was an article in some American magazine, but like, or newspaper, but very little known. But I came up with the word and used it in the episode, because I always like these, I would always come up with these little portmanteau kind of words, right? And I came up with staycation in the episode where Brent was not going on vacation. He would just sit out in front of the gas station on his week off, you know? And I came up with that gag. He calls it a staycation. And it was the first, because there was, you know, we would get over a million viewers every week on our show, it spread from there and, yeah, it got into the lexicon.

So if you look up like the etymology of stacation, I'm sort of like. It's the episode mail fraud, season three, episode six. And apparently the acronym MILF originated from a linguistics class at the University of California, Berkeley in 1992. 92. Okay. I like that it's a linguistics class.

It makes it sound so heady and it's just the most base thing. Now suppose students, if there were a mother that you would like to fornicate with. Yeah, it actually stood for fornicate early. That was the original African milk. It was milk. It was mother with whom I'd like to fornicated early. That was the original African MILF. It was MILF. It was mother with whom I'd like to fornicate. There's also a clarification article. SMILF is based on MILF, or mother I'd like to fuck, and refers to an attractive middle-aged woman, typically a mother. It bites saying sexually desirable by younger men. MILF traces it back to the 1990s, American pie.

That's where we popularized MILF. Well, it certainly was popularized. Well, the Wikipedia has an entrance for this anyways. Anyway, well, it has an entrance for cow tools. Here's your in addition to words that are written in. We also clip your phone calls and voice memos. Voice memos, go to SPY at MaximumFun.org. And if you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one, ugh, SpyPod one, like these people have. Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Danny in Chicago. I'm a college professor and I was making small talk with the first student to arrive to class today and I don't even remember what we were talking about and it's made funnier by the fact that I almost didn't even hear it but he just goes, yeah, that really rubs me off the wrong way. Anyway, off I go. That's great.

Just that one additional word in there. There's no wrong way. That's right. Yeah, don't go looking for something that's just good in all shapes and sizes. The wrong way would just be too quickly. Yeah. That's not for me. That's honestly, I should apologize.

You're rubbing off in there. No, I'm rubbing my lamp. I mean, those are the two things you could rub off. Well, I guess an eraser would rub off. Well, but now rubbing off is also like, it's someone else's behavior. So like- Right, you're rubbing off on them.

Yeah, and that makes it worse. That's true. Oh yeah, you're- Rubbing off your rubbing off on people? Yeah, or no, for your friend is rubbing off on you, he better not be. I beg your pardon. And next phone call.

Hello, Dave Graham and wonderful guests. This is Matt from Saskatoon. I've got an overhead of the kids say the darndest variety overhead. We are coming back from the late playing game of would you rather when it ended up escalating to would you rather drink swamp water or be attracted to cats? And then later on the way back, we were listening to the radio and they said there was a tornado warning to which my child said, a tornado, I can't die. I haven't drank swamp water yet.

And he was like, oh. He's working a callback. He's a young pro in the making that kid. Yeah. I thought she was going to say, I'm not going to be able to see my cat. I'm attracted to anymore. There's a tornado warning in Saskatoon. Brent, was it tornado country where you grew up? Well, not really, but farther south in Saskatchewan, you would get tornadoes now and again.

But it was never something we were worried about. But there was a, yeah, but there was a big tornado in Regina. No, just minus 65 temperature. That was the thing we were more concerned about. Yeah, that's what was on the table. Yeah, there was one, there was a famous one in Edmonton that did a ton of damage. Yeah, I remember that very clearly. That's the only one that I know. Scary. Scary stuff. Well, here's your final phone call.

Hi, Dave, Graham, and gorgeous guest. My name is Sue. I live in Canada. How does she know? And I haven't overheard. I was headed to my spin class here in Toronto and it's on Yonge Street really close to Dundas Square. There was a young woman outside on speakerphone with her friend and the woman was saying like, and I love being underestimated and the friend said, oh absolutely.

And then the woman said, so if he wants to play that game, and then unfortunately I headed into the building and missed what she was going to say. But that was entertaining. And then as I was walking back home a less interesting overheard occurred where a woman probably 19 was also on speaker phone with her friend and she said, so I cheated on the test on the exam and that was it. That was fun too. Anyways, I'm off, bye bye. Read us the text.

I'm off, goodbye. It's off I go. Off I go. Yeah, I- I love being underestimated. Yeah, no, you know what? I think it's impossible to underestimate me. I would challenge anybody.

I've never been underestimated in my life. Overestimated, absolutely. Absolutely. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Brett, thank you so much for being our guest. Oh, it was my pleasure. Absolutely. Always fun. I've come up with my email. Oh, yeah. Here we go. So here's the deal. Okay, here's the deal. This is a one time offer.

This is a one time offer off the cuff. Yeah. If you wanna check out, not exactly TV, because there's no system in place to do this. If you just email Sparrow Media, so Sparrow like the bird in media, all one word, sparrowmedia at email.com, not Gmail. Don't let it auto-correct you to Gmail.

Sparrowmedia at email.com. And if you put spy in the headline, like in the subject, and let me know you want, I'll give you three months paid, not exactly.tv, and then at the end of that three months, it's up to you whether you want to continue on paid or free. It's up to you, but you get three free months. How about those apples? Yeah. Great apples.

Those are some of the finest apples. And you have a book coming out in the DVD. Is this offer, does this go until the end of time? People will be listening to this episode in a year. Yeah, what the heck? Well, you know what? It's only three months, right? Sure.

It's not like I'm giving away the farm here. Yeah. We'll say for 2025. Well, you know, void were prohibited. Oh, yeah, you got all that legal stuff. Anywhere where it's not legal. Also, yeah, you know, you're rolling the dice. You email, you might not get a response. Yeah, it could have been, yeah.

Maybe there's a- I might be a big fat liar. Wow. We'll see. I'm two-thirds of the way there anyway. And do you have a date by which maybe your book will be out or still in the- No, I'm just writing it like maybe no publisher will like it even. It may be garbage.

I like where it's going, but I'll write it and then try to shop it around. The fastest that book would be out would be another year from now. I like the idea that an editor would feel like this is garbage. Yeah. This is terrible. I don't even know what this is. Yeah, and you know, you can follow me on my OnlyFans. You know what, I'm gonna give away

three, four, three months of my OnlyFans. Yeah, I get it. Check out Graham doing, you know, inserting things. And doing what? Rubbing off on people. Oh. Oh. Oh.

But one thing I will plug on May 23rd and 23rd and 24th. You said 23rd. Damn it, you guys. I like that. Oh, shit. 23rd. I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stand-up comedy show at Little Mountain Gallery. And if you want tickets, you can go to their website or look it up on ShowPass. I don't wanna, you do however you wanna do.

Go to the, it's in Vancouver, in Gastown. Dave's gonna be a writer. I'm gonna be a writer. Graham does these things. They're 24 hour fundraisers. I'm assuming this is a fundraiser. Yeah, and it's- For the-

For the little mountain folks. Yeah, and then it's hard to talk for 24 hours straight. So what he does is he gets people to write jokes. Exactly. Teams of people and it's so fun. It goes in these waves of inside jokes that change. Yeah. This year, the one thing we're doing is every hour, one joke is going to be selected as the joke of the hour,

and then after the 24 hours best joke of the night When a trophy or so, you know, where's your you can get new pair of hokas? I can get new shoes I'm gonna get a new hoodie. I'm gonna get new hat Think I will the shirt I wore last year was not very flattering. So I'm not doing anything with print on it okay, straight black and But I didn't need a new color, because I've done navy blue. Oh yeah. You could put out those, like the best joke of each hour.

So the 24 jokes, do it like, release it as a special or something. We're thinking of releasing the entire 24 hours as an album. Oh, good luck with that. You know, there's a lot of like dead air. A lot of dead air. Good luck with that, you know. There's a lot of like dead air. A lot of dead air. 24, yeah, just a special of just like the last of you reading the jokes after having

done the show. Yeah. Back when you're on your last legs. Anyway, we love you folks. Come by and say hello. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Anyway, we love you folks. Come by and say hello. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.