Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 895 - Brent Constantine

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

Comedian Brent Constantine joins us to talk Star Wars side characters, dog surgery, and estate sales.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 895 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's got a real tight brand new haircut, Mr. Dave Schumke. Yeah.

Also beard cut. Got a beard cut. I did a... No beard at all. I'm beardless and I did a few... You're fearless? I'm... Okay, let me talk. Near rhyme? Can I talk at all?

Not even near rhyme. Beardless and fearless? It's a sound... what is that? What is that called? Sound alike? No, there's an actual name. I guess it's near rhyme. It's a near rhyme. It's a rhyme cheat. Yeah. Yeah. The cheat is comes in the middle of the word. If you went on rhymezone.com, it would be in the back half of the list. That's true. Is it RhymeZone.com or RhymeZone.org? Oh, believe me, I'm on RhymeZone.com all the time. Weird Al Karaoke, you better believe it. Oh man, see, we gotta talk about all this stuff. And it's RhymeZone.com.

But I did get a haircut, and before that I cut my beard about a week ago and I had a few days of mustache. Oh yeah, just stache? Just stache. How did that feel? It felt, you know, it's shocking to get so much face after, like you're shocked from the beard cut. Yeah.

And then you have a few days of mustache and you're like, well, do I like this? I don't even like the various chins I'm seeing right now. And then, so then you lose the mustache and then you're like, oh, look at all that real estate between my lip and my nose. What could I do with that? I feel like when Tom Selleck shaved his.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that was scandalous. Blue bloods. Yeah. Does he not have it in blue bloods? No, he's a mustache. Less. What?

Let's go to rhymezone.com and check that out. Yeah. Now, if you're wondering who that voice is, I think you're thinking of in and out. Oh, the Pixar movie. Is he a mustache in and out the Pixar movie? Tom Selleck, captain of the NRA, I believe. I want to say in Blue Bloods, he does have a mustache. Oh, he does?

Okay. Oh, he didn't have one in Magnum PI. That's not historically accurate. Sort of a Berenstein Bears situation. Yeah, exactly. We always remembered him with the mustache. They all have mustaches too. God damn, he looks good with a mustache, doesn't he?

What was my Berenstein Bears the other day? Oh, Turmeric. Did they add an R to Turmeric? I order a lot of lotis. That voice you're hearing is our guest today. Very funny comedian and the entire beating heart of Little Mountain Gallery here in Vancouver. It's Brent Constantine.

Hey, hello. Thanks a lot for having me on the show. Thanks for being on the show. The second Brent in, yeah, it's Brent Constantine. Hello. Thanks a lot for having me on the show. Thanks for being on the show The second Brent in yeah, it's Brent month here May is Brent month here So it's gonna be we're gonna get Brent Spiner Brent Spiner And then that we're gonna follow it up with Not very many Brent no minor from of course Star Trek and Independence Day and Star Trek movies and he came back

for Independence Day 2. That's right yeah Independence harder yeah. This is a game that Brent likes to play I don't know Brent very well but we were talking about Helena Bonham Carter. Yes. Upstairs and he kept saying Helena Bonham Carter from? From... Yes upstairs and he kept saying Ellen of our bottom card are from And

He was leading us down a primrose path, yeah, we were it was fun, you know what it was fun Yeah, we had some time to kill before that. We were just staring at the ground and talking to each other Yeah, and did Tom Selleck have a mustache in friend? I don't think he absolutely did. I don't yeah he did I was in so when when didn't he have the mustache in Friends? I don't think he did. No, he absolutely did. I don't- Yeah, he did. Oh, he did? So when didn't he have the mustache? I think In-N-Out, the Pixar movie. Yeah.

And what element was he or what emotion was he? Fifth element, type of leaf. The purple one. Yeah, not in In-N-Out. Looks like a completely different dude. It does. He's still handsome as fuck. I'd have a gay kiss with Kevin Kline.

Is that Three Men and a Baby? I think he has a mustache that three men and a baby? He has a mustache and three men. Yeah, he does for sure. That's photoshop, I'm pretty sure. That's nonsense. Remember you guys when in Superman they had to digitally erase his mustache? I'll never forget that. I'll never forget where I was when I heard about that mustache. Yeah, that was Justice League. Yeah, yeah. Henry Cavill's mustache, which was so unnecessary. He doesn't need a mustache for Mission Impossible. Can you imagine if they had added that in as a thing? Like, well, now Superman has a mustache. That's the mustache cut, the Snyder mustache cut. Well, it's like in on Saturday Night Live when Dan Aykroyd used to be Jimmy Carter and just kept

his mustache? It was a simpler time when we could overlook that kind of stuff. Yeah, before Reddit.com, Reddit.org was around. Cesar Romero, famously the Joker with the mustache. And now Saturday Night Live will spend $100,000 on a set for a two-minute skit. Yeah. Well, okay. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. I read that. Did you guys all read that giant coffee table book about SNL and they're like 25th anniversary. I don't read a coffee

table book about it. 25th. What did they just do 50? They just did SNL 50. So this is out of date then. Graham and I hosted. Yeah, we hosted. Yeah. Yeah. It was us and Lin-Manuel Miranda Was that the daytime? Yeah, it was the technical SNL awards. It was the Latin SNL awards. Well that's how you know how much the sets cost. Yeah The most expensive set this year goes to... We won the accounting, SNL accounting awards The pencil pushies they call it The bean counter.

Speaking of accounting, and guys, we're going to get to the show no matter what happens. How are you guys on your taxes? It's tax day here in Canada. Just finishing up, finishing up the last couple decimals and yeah, just going to submit on the TurboTax and away I go. You do TurboTax? Yeah. Do you select audit protection?

What does that mean? It's the last thing before you submit, they say, would you like to purchase audit protection? And that means if you get audited, you will get, I think, a free phone call with someone who works there who says, yeah, I can't help you at all. I get reassessed every year. I don't know if that's an audit, but like, but they don't contact you for that, right? No, they just say, hey, you're wrong. I get reassessed every year. I don't know if that's an audit, but like. But they don't contact you for that, right? They just. Well, no, they just say, hey, you're wrong.

You're wrong, you owe us a thousand more dollars. And then, and that comes to you usually in June. And then in November, they're like, we've been thinking about it. You owe us 67 more dollars. You guys have a lot of. You guys have a lot of CRA listeners, right? Yeah.

Yeah. There's Jim and listeners, right? Yeah, yeah. There's Jim and Frederick. Jim? Jim from accounts. And Frederick from accounts. Accounts. So that's what's going on with me. Brent, first time guest on the show.

Thank you. Yeah, thank you for coming. Yeah, of course. Brent is the big kahuna down at Little Mountain Gallery. The bon vivant. We just got kahutas at Little Mountain. Oh, really? Yeah, and they are very helpful.

Yeah. You're the head hauncho. What's on... Do you have a business card that says, I'm CEO, bitch? Can't afford the business card. Okay, sure. Well, you know, Christmas isn't that far away. Yeah, so Little Man Gallery, if you guys don't know,

friend of the show, longtime friend of the show. Graham does a show there, Laugh Gallery, every Tuesday at 7.30. It's a little community comedy space that's been around for many years and has gone through a bunch of different people's hands. And I'm the latest person to accept the curse of running this thing. But this is your, you're selling yourself, sure, because Little Mountain was a venue. It was on Main Street and had been there for years.

It was on 26th May. Yeah, yeah. Off Main. And Ryan Beal kept it alive there for years. It was on 26th. 26th of May. Yeah. Off May. And Ryan Beal kept it alive for several years. Salazar. Salazar before him. And then it got demoed. And then Brandt single-handedly helped create the brand new venue and now oversees it.

And like a hawk. Oh, man. You do not want to cross him because you cross him once. I dress up like a hawk. And it's all do not want to cross him because you cross him I dress up like a hawk and it's all it's all and I start handing out those business cards So don't embed Abdul Aziz who's been on the show as well. Yeah, I don't remember Nikki Mordar who's been on the show as well Yeah, she's been on the show. I think she's on Calendar no, no, okay. Sorry about that Nikki future She was Nikki Mordar our first ever guest on our Instagram account when we took pictures of that's right

I remind you take a picture of this guest and we yes Oh, we do like Saturday Night Live where we're in Constantine. We do the picture of the the note board of yeah Oh, yeah, we do yes, then then musical guest big SNL episode. Yeah, you know, it's sort of our sports You guys so for guys like us is sort of our and you know, it's all 50 sort of our Super Bowl We watch it every 50 years X V No, no 50s like L isn't it? Yeah

And guys post your L's online What's your favorite L? I'd like your favorite moment from the 50th anniversary What's your favorite Al-Adlai? Your favorite moment from the 50th anniversary? Was it... Never, I didn't watch it. Did you watch it? No, I didn't watch it. I watched bits of it. It was on. Yeah. And it was, but it was, the thing about it, not only was it on, it went on and on. How long was it? Three or four hours. Jesus. I remember in the 40th one, Dana Carvey going up and doing his chopping broccoli bit and then it was over after You know 50 seconds and then he kind of shrugged like well, that's it

And then he didn't show up for 50. Yeah. Yeah, it's what we didn't come they didn't ask him back Broccoli terrace, I mean they asked everyone back. Okay, everyone was there Okay notable exceptions. Yeah, there were some notable people who didn't show up. I don't know if Victoria Jackson was there or Dennis Miller, but Johnny rocket certainly. That's not his name. Is it Johnny rocket Charles rocket? Sorry. Yeah, I don't think Charles the late Charles rocket made it oh that's true yeah that's right but touched by an angel like Rob Schneider was there and Chris Catan hmm oh yeah mango mango Chris Catan does not get enough like he's a bit of a punchline and he destroyed

his body he is what do you mean his physical doing mango from mango and monkey bone yeah and he's like he did not look well at SNL 50 Oh, no, but we we forget that mango or like mr. Peepers or people or the the cheerleaders The rocks very now the cheerleaders but those like were the those were like the number like after the the the cheerleaders but those like were the shows were like the number like after the the monologue right to a katan sketch we got a new katan right away but wasn't the thing with him in one of those tell-all books that he was very mean to the rest of the cast and so when they got successful they kind of sorry

if Chris Katan is listening to the show so he kind of got pushed away and that's why he hasn't really had a no maybe well it's in the book the book. Well, it's in one of these tell-all books. How many of the tell-all books have you read? I have read, I think, the Fighting for Airtime. Gasping for Airtime. Oh, God. Oh, God. Sorry to Chris Kattan.

The J. Moore book. And I read the Daryl Hammond one. Oh, okay. One, because he released another one afterwards. I read Gasping for Airtime and I read the like, Live from New York. Yeah, I read the Live from New York. The oral history.

I read the anal history as well. Wow, that's a rare one. Chris Catan was in a movie shot in West Edmonton Mall, co-starring Patrick Swayze. What was it? It was called The Christmas Summoner. It was called Christmas Roadhouse. It's always, rated R.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They filmed, the other big movie to film in Edmonton was Snow Day with Chevy Chase. Oh. And he was on Rosie O'Donnell and really slagged Edmonton. And they talked about how cold Edmonton was. And then the mayor of Edmonton at the time, Bill Smith, who drove around in a Hummer

to elementary schools. Uh, he... Would he stop and get out or... He would wave. Yeah. Depending what, how, what the kids looked like. And he, like if they were smiling, not anything else. But, um...

Oh, these kids are ugly. Keep driving. Not a looker in the budge. And he wrote a letter to Rosie O'Donnell, citing- O'Donnell. Sorry, to Rosie O'Donnell and Chris Kittan. And he wrote a letter quoting what the actual temperature was, which was actually like seasonably warm so Chevy Chase was wrong.

Right. And it was a big scandal in Edmonton at the time. Chevy Chase also famously not well liked. Was he back? Did he come back? I think he was there, yeah. and also famously not well liked by his son. Did he come back? I think he was there, yeah. Because didn't he say something mean to someone?

No, he said something mean to Jason Reitman after he saw the Saturday Night Live movie. That's right. Right. I enjoy how mean Chevy Chase is. I find it funny. Are you? He's got his due, right?

He's like, lost a lot of opportunities by being a jerk. He's lost a lot of, he had plenty of opportunities to not be a jerk and he just won't take any of them. Yeah, passed on that. Brent, welcome to the show. First time guest. Yeah. Are you from Edmonton?

I am from Edmonton. Is that why you know the lore? Yeah, so I know a lot of lore. So all of that with more, if you look at the IMDB page of Snow Day, It's in the trivia section and it goes on quite a bit longer than that. There's if you're interested There's more trivia about snow day. Yeah, there is. Okay, pull it up. Oh Challenge you internet is down. Oh, no, but we got all those pictures at Tom. So those are a grandfathered in Those are grandfathered in. What is? Thank you, Shaw.

So those are the two movies shot in Edmonton, Roadhouse Mall. Roadhouse, Christmas Roadhouse. Christmas Roadhouse, Snow Day One. Snow Day One. Why would he go, why would he complain about the cold weather in his movie Snow Day? Yeah, it didn't really make sense.

If you read the letter from Bill Smith, he goes over this in fine detail. I don't like Bill Smith ever since he slapped Chris Rock. Nice. Is it? Yeah, that's pretty good. Here in Vancouver, our mayor got pissed off when the lead of the Archie Riverdale said that Vancouver was boring and, oh, did we take offense to that?

But you gotta admit, you know? Yeah, what mayor was that? Was it the current guy? Greg Orrin? No, it was post-Gregor Kennedy. Yeah, yeah. Oh, the little guy in between. Yeah, the linking, the connecting tissue.

The little man in between. I am the little mayor and I don't like you. Is that- Richard. That is a really good impression. Yeah, that's why he was not voted back into office. The little, you know, leprechaun voice he had. Can you do a voice of current mayor Ken Sim? Is that character with us right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you channel him? And just keep in mind, you do run a business that requires permits from the city.

And just keep in mind, you do run a business that requires permits from the city. Hmm, hmm, I'm Erken Sim, and I love you, Riverdale Archie, season 13. It's done, right? Riverdale's over? Riverdale is so done. Ah, shit. Remember when in the first episode and he was fucking Miss Grundy,

and it was just like, wow. It's so hot as hell, yeah. An R-rated cut of the Snow wow. So hot as hell yeah. They're R rated cuts of the snow day. Of snow day. Of snow day. Of standard edition yeah. Did you watch that show? I watched the first maybe let's say five episodes.

I heard it got really good in that it kind of like went completely bonkers as it went on. Yeah it went. Because it was on for like 10 years wasn't it? Nine, ten years. Something like that. Yeah about that. Maybe 7 8 6 5 Okay, I wonder if that diner because they did build an actual Building for the diner. Yeah, and it's like somewhere in Abbotsford. I thought it was up. I don't think they built it

I think it's like a scent that's been used in many things An actual like old diner. OK, I get to this. Christine Bordelin, who's been on the show many times, her boyfriend, Jay, is an actor and in the end episode of Archie season one, he is down. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. It's known as Archie overseas. So they couldn't get the name right. Because in England, Riverdale means your pussy.

Yeah, it's like a Wally Waldo situation with the books. And he was in the balaclava and killed Archie's dad. Oh really? And he was excited because he thought they would bring him back without the balaclava but they recast him. Oh shit, it's like the Darth Vader. Have you ever heard of that story? How about Star Wars?

Yeah. Have you ever heard that story? Yeah. It sort of takes place long ago though. Yeah. Have you ever heard that story? Yeah. Yeah. It sort of, it takes place a long ago though. Yeah. Like old movies. And far away. Yeah. The guy that did the body of Darth Vader assumed he was going to be the face when they pulled off the mask.

And the voice. And the voice. Yeah. Neither. Same with Chewbacca. Peter Mayhew when they took the face off of Chewbacca. Yeah. When they finally shaved the face. Oh man. He off of Chewbacca? Yeah, when they finally shaved the face, he would be Chewbacca.

Peter Mayhew, I think he got in George Lucas's bad graces, right? Because he would go around and talk badly about Star Wars. Oh, yeah. Why do you think he was above it? Was that a joke? Was that some kind of a joke? Oh shit, guys. Was Star Wars here to amuse you?

You ever heard of Star Wars before? Yeah, yeah, I've seen the first three and then the second three and then the third three and then the fourth three. Was that some kind of a joke? Oh shit guys! Was Star Wars here to amuse you? You ever heard of Star Wars before? Yeah, yeah, I've seen the first three and then the second three and then decided to sit out the last three. And every Star Wars iteration since. Although I've been told some of them are very good. I can't, I can't.

I got other things to do. Yeah, I gotta get into Andor. Now's the time. Yeah, exactly. It's it's Star Wars for adults Finally, so do they fucking we get Chewbacca's Standard edition. Yeah There's some CG. Chewbacca fucks Yoda. Oh what? They both take off their faces at the ends and you'll never guess who's under there

Jack and Grogu Grogu. Yeah, Jack's having sex with Grogu. Yeah, because you got to is not Peter. He's not still Chewbacca. See, no, he's dead. He's pretty. Well, you'll always be my Chewbacca. Hashtag not my Chewbacca. Peter Mayhew, I want to say dead.

I thought you said the internet didn't work. Oh, we got it back. Peter Mayhew died April 30th, 2019 in Boyd, Texas, in a gunfight. Oh shit. On the set of Rust. People also ask, why was Peter Mayhew so tall? So he could be Chewbacca.

Yeah, exactly, that was the whole reason. Why was he so tall? So he could fit in the Chewbacca. Yeah, exactly. That was the whole reason. Why was he so tall? So he could fit in the Chewbacca costume. Oh, is it the same guy, C-3PO? Is he still the guy in the last? Anthony Daniels. Yeah. Is he still around?

Yeah, he's still around. Was he in the last movies? Was he C-3PO? Or did they get another younger, hotter guy? Hotter robot that was there, yeah. They just took a...ba they put bba in the god they have bba in a mocap suit that's that's for the gen z's yeah and those uh you know the little puffin guys porgs is that what they're called yeah porgs or eat horns

or porgs yeah Chewbacca eats one Chewbacca Chewbubaka alone eats a couple of porks. It's a real laugh moment in episode eight. Does he eat them like wild animal style or does he sit down? He's grilling them on the fire. Does he eat the red ones last? Do you know why they did porks though? Why they came up with those? Why? Because where they were shooting had so many puffins

And there's no way that they could remove them so they get them in here. Oh, so they Digitized the pork then they couldn't get the puffins designer release So they actually were cooking a puffin. Yes, sir An actual Chewbacca paid it never believes who's under there. Oh I'm not gonna tell look on IMDB.com. Yeah. Oh my God, the trivia section. Imagine how much trivia there is for these movies.

Yeah. Oh my God, yeah. Even for, I bet you there's a lot of trivia for that Edmonton mall Christmas special. I bet you there's a lot of. Do you ever watch a movie and you're like, I'm gonna check out the trivia after this. I do it every time.

I know, but is it ever disappointing? You're like, uh, Yeah, sometimes they only have like one or two things and it's usually something like so-and-so went to school in New York where the movie was all that. Trivia. It's just sort of like facts that someone. And you can tell one of the actor's agents put it in there. Yeah, this actor is actually very successful and was considered as the role of Chewbacca, but he was not tall enough. Do you think they had auditions role of Chewbacca, but he was not tall enough.

Do you think they had auditions for the Chewbacca? I think whoever showed up in a costume, best costume. First person to come in with a Chewbacca costume, you've got it. You nailed it. Who plays Chewbacca now? Is it that... No one. Doug Jones. Oh, Doug Jones from Hellboy. Is that right?

Yep. You're making the shape of the water. It's now Eunice, Yonis Suo Tamo. I believe he sounds Finnish. Okay. Yeah. Oh, there he is on the red carpet. Very tall. Very tall. Did they make him wear the Chewbacca costume on the red carpet? Just the body. He's allowed to have the head off. But he does have to wear the body. There he is. So who's in that Chewbacca costume? That's Peter Mayhew. Yeah. I think he does have to wear the body. There he is. Until the movie starts. There he is. So who's in that Chewbacca costume? That's Peter Mayhew.

Yeah. Peter Mayhew with his lover. There also has to be a Chewbacca next to him so people know. Yeah. He was. I got to start telling my nephew that I played Chewbacca. Chewbacca for scale. You played his son who was a...

Lobaca? Itchy. Itchy? Yeah. From the Christmas special. Chewbacca for scale you played his son who was a low buck itchy Itchy yeah from the Christmas special oh Yes, great itchy or scratchy yummy camera was name was it too many men What was be Arthur was she on as herself be Arthur? I think she did like a sexy dance on the show Yeah, yeah, yeah It was very erotic where Chewbacca's dad watched sort of just like an erotic dance. Chewbacca had a wife named Malatobac.

Okay. Okay. Different last name. And a son named Lumpawaru. Lumpy. Yes, his name was Lumpy. Lumpawaru. It's short for Lumpawaru. How do you, if you don't speak English,

how was Chewbacca able to tell everyone, my name is Chewbacca? Oh yeah. He can't was Chewbacca able to tell everyone? My name is Chewbacca. Oh, yeah. He can't say Chewbacca. What pain he must go through. It must be that kind of thing of like in your like in Canada, we call Germany, Germany, but they call themselves Deutschland. Right. He must have written it down somewhere with his big claws. There was my son's name's Lumpy. Lumpawaru is the family name, sorry about that. There was a joke from a comedian here in town named John Buehler where he said, what if they returned to the Wookie's home planet

and everybody was just normal and wearing suits and they were like, you're so good for putting up with Chewaka. Happy life day. Lumpawaru will not talk to- And by the way, their home planet? Kishik. Kishik. Sorry.

It's Kishik with three. I apologize. I know it's, you know, he's learned it by reading. So you're a Star Wars guy. And that's Kishik with three Ys. Really? Mm-hmm. Don't spell it wrong in the comments.

Oh, boy. You say you're not, but you know all this stuff. I just, I don't know. I like to read. What are your, what kind of a guy are you? Like you're not a Star Wars guy. Are you a Lord of the Rings guy? Are you a-

You're a D&D guy? I like reading the Wookiepedia's, the Wikipedia's, like the Warhammer 40K is like the the D&D like the wiki articles, but I don't like really like I find it interesting and kind of relaxing If I could be so bold is to say I just find it I find interesting like the the Information like you look at Star Wars and there's like one of those little pig guys that rips apart C-3PO's arm and he has like a whole family history and lore behind him. Well, not anymore. They got rid of that. That's no Legends canon. So the pig guy is, he's a fresh

slate. Oh, he's the one we're introducing. This isn't your grandfather's pig guy. Because they had a bunch of like our, our big nerd listeners know all this, but they had a bunch of like our our big nerd listeners know all this. Yeah, they had a bunch of novels Yes, that weren't novelization. They were right. They were like the expanded universe Yeah, the expanding universe and that's all wiped clean Yeah, and then and then once they sold it to Disney they got rid of all that and so like if like I read a lot of the like Chewbacca had this document had this autobiography memoir about his years on SNL. It was ghost written though.

About his years on SNL. I played Gerald Ford. I fell down a lot. I stole a joke that made it onto the show. It was a big deal. Lumpy and I did not get along on set. We had some technical questions. We had some technical issues.

We were the first father-son cast members of Space SNL. Oh, who mans the update desk of Space SNL. Oh, who mans the update desk on Space SNL? Grrr. Yeah, I've gone as far as- I think it's gonna be R2-D2, I think. Yeah. So funny. Oh, Jabba the Hutt. Cause he's not going-

Oh, Jabba the Hutt's got used to death. Well, no, but this is, I'm talking about the original cast. Oh, sorry, yeah. Back in the day when they didn't cover his mustache To play space president. I had a toy from Star Wars that I think was a guard maybe around Jabba the Hutt It was just a bald fat guy and I have that yeah. Yeah, it's the you know talking Oh, of course they made toy they made toys of all these guys, but like that guy pig Yeah

Small big man big big. Yeah, there's big and small. Is it this guy? That's big pig man. Oh, no, this guy's just a guy. Yeah, he's just a guy not gammarian guard No, not just a man. He had an important role. What is They You so how many of the books did you read Dave like none? Oh All right, that's a dead end I How many of the books did you read, Dave? None. Oh. How many did you read? All right, that's a dead end. I read one where Chewbacca dies.

No way. Yeah, Moon crushes him. No. Yeah. Is this who you got? No, that's- That's Lobot? That's Lobot.

No, it really is a guy that's just a guy who's a fat guy with his pants up around his- He has a... Yeah, he has like sort of a loincloth on. And he's the guy who's sad when Luke kills the big claymation monster. Because he was the guy who oversaw that monster. Oh, so his ass is going to fry. Yeah, they had a fun shot of him as Luke escapes and he's very sad. Okay, we're not going to look down.

Nah, it's fine. Well, what am I looking up? Sad? Claymaging monster? Sad man. He kinda looks like... Okay, here's the keywords. Jabba the Hutt.

Star Wars. Uh-huh. Falling cloth man. Bald guard. Jabba the Hutt. Monster. Star Wars. Star Wars.

Bald. Bald. I mean Jabba the Hutt. If we don't have Star Wars, are we going to do we need Star Wars and we're searching Java? Safe search on bald loincloth loincloth. What is that monster's name? Right.

I know the one you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it rank or rank or yeah. Okay. Add rank or to that. We're just seeing Jabba the Hutt right now. Rancor trainer, let's say that wipe every there is right there. Yes, there's a row. Okay, you're talking about Yeah, that's the guy. He looks like Kevin from the office

He does bring in his Star Wars chili Was no shirt day malak malak Yeah, they all have names. Are, those eyes are else melakala So I lost the I lost the thing that he wears on this head the cloth on his head and also the belt thing So it's just a fat guy in pants. So we're gonna get a pronunciation on this Yeah, let's watch the YouTube video how to pronounce You gotta say it in their weird robot voice. Who? How do they make money over there pronunciation.com?

Well, some of them there's the guy who does with a French accent who does. Who's all all like, we are going to. Yes, today we are going to... Today we are going to look at this... Bowling. Yes, this word, this special word that is known for beloved far and wide. So they must get enough like, you've got to do at least 30 seconds to get your... To get enough there, yeah.

Lumpawaru. Lumpawaru. I was in a Star Wars fan movie when I was in a Star Wars fan movie when I was in 2021. What does that mean? Let me tell you about that. Yeah. So it was called Star Wars Seekers of the Rebellion. And it was made by this guy.

And if you look at the this is an Edmonton. This was an Edmonton. And if you look at the trivia for that movie, you'll see that was never released because the director creator was a murderer. No! He murdered someone and this movie was never released. What is a fan movie though? What did you mean? That's the piece you want to talk about. Yeah, so he... No, but I just didn't... I just don't know what the hell that is. It was someone who spent a lot of money, he racked up credit card debt to kind of create just a movie in the Star Wars world. He flew in the guy who played Boba Fett under the costume, didn't talk.

Oh, really? Yeah. And he was in the movie. And he murdered him. Yeah. RIP. Because I've seen Batman once. I've seen Batman fan made things and I enjoy them. There you go. I said it. I've heard of people writing fan fiction. Yeah. But like to go to the expense of making a movie that you'll immediately get sued for making.

Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of the time they just love Star Wars. Some of them love murdering. Now did this guy murder someone? Is he in jail now? He is in jail. Yeah.

Yeah, in Edmonton. Did he murder someone? Is he in jail now? He is in jail. Yeah, yeah, in Edmonton. Did he murder someone like after he made the movie? Yeah. Maybe like during editing? Yeah, so this was, he gave up on making this movie and then he got really into Dexter and was making a Dexter fan movie. This is not true.

You're not talking about Dexter Jettster from Star Wars. Oh, God. You've read the Wiki, my friend. You is not true. You're not talking about Dexter Jettster from Star Wars. Oh, God. You've read the wiki, my friend. You read Wikipedia. And then he recreated the actual Dexter fan movie in real life. Oh, okay. Do you think I'm joking? Yes. I do think you're joking about the Dexter part. No, I'm not. That guy doesn't look like his name should be Dexter Jettster. Oh, he ran the diner that was then reached every diner diner Riverdale They got lazier and lazier

I'm ready to sell this I'm ready to cover all this but this isn't true. The thing is about the Dexter. No, it's true. Look it up Do your own research? I like normally on the show. I look up maybe one thing maybe two. I'm not doing my whole show googling. You gotta fact check me live. Well I don't care. Yeah okay. So is this why you called my blog? Well it's not that I don't care. Graham doesn't believe you. I believe you. Yeah you believe me. We're like okay so there's two guards. One of them believes everything you said. The other one only doesn't believe you.

Brent, you now make your home here in Vancouver. You ran Little Mountain from Edmonton via internet. Yeah, yeah, via internet. Yeah, because I moved back. We knew that the space was going to close at some point. And so I went back and- How many years did we know it was going to close? I felt like it was on the verge of being shut down for a decade. I think it was the point when the

corner store next door started sinking into the ground, sinking into the crowds in front of the coolers. Like you'd go to buy a big Arizona iced tea and there'd be like a depression filled with foam. Yeah. That they tried to keep the floor up with. There's a, if you go to the Safeway on King Edward and Oak Yeah. on the, in the produce aisle produce section, it is wonky. Like you know, sometimes I'll walk away from my cart and it'll just roll away.

The deals are this way. Follow me for the deals Dave. Yeah, so it was, but how many years did you do that? I sort of say, like, I got involved probably 2016, and then me and Ryan were kind of overlapping for a while. Yeah, and then during COVID, it closed down. I went back to school to sort of, for urban planning and sort of help with understanding the city processes of which they are a lot. It took us about two, three years before we were able to open in Gastown.

And when you're doing urban planning in school, what's the main thing they teach you? Is it like a roundabout would probably be better here? Nobody understands four way stops. Can I tell you about the roundabout actually probably be better here. Nobody understands four way stops. Can I tell you about the roundabout actually? Yes please. So.

Yes. Is that the song? Do you know what I'm talking about? No. No, but I liked it. Yeah. I thought it was just an original thing. Roundabout.

It's a, I think it's yes. It's Prague. It's Prague. Okay. Fam famously eaten by progs were eaten by Chewbacca and Hello Baca and the fat guy Was that the Vagina? Diner giner Dexter Jester

This is the stupidest episode in a while. It might be. Is it really? So you will tell us about roundabouts. Oh, well, they got, Dave's gonna lay down some tracks. The, they were used in the, in the eighties, nineties, a lot more in traffic calming for bike lanes, but they're actually more unsafe than just a stop sign. So for bikes or for everyone everyone for bikes, for everybody. A lot more bikes get hit in those little roundabouts.

Uh, you guys, you guys both ride bikes or I own a bike. Um, I don't ride bike in the city too, too afraid, too afraid of getting run over by a car. Really? Yeah. Or doored. So you did urban planning in school for this, so you could run up. Yeah, it helped. I sort of wanted to just learn more about it

and working cultural planning a bit. So I worked in Edmonton when I was there, opening and working with arts and culture spaces. You see the shumkas when you're at Edmonton? You see those shumka dancers? Oh yeah, I know about those guys. Yeah, you talk about Edmonton culture. Can't talk about Edmonton culture without mentioning. The Schumke dancers.

Yeah. Yeah. Vegreville. Yeah, sure man, whatever. Anyways. Giant Egg. Naming stuff, yeah. And what is the place with the giant kielbasa sausage?

It is Mondare. Mondare sausage. Where's got the big, what's the place with the big pierogi? Is that Vegreville? I think St. Paul's the place with the big pierogi? Is that Vega Ville? I think St. Paul's the one with the is that the alien? No, that's Vulcan. It's only an alien landing pad.

Yeah. Yeah. No, Vulcan has the enterprise. Oh, alien landing pad is somewhere else. That's St. Paul then, right? Are we talking about pierogies or are we talking about Star Trek? Back to Google. I go to Google. Alberta! Yeah, let's get on Google.

Alberta has a lot of biggest things. World's largest pierogi in Glendon. Glendon. Shout out to Glendon. Star Wars character was Glendon for sure. And the landing pad is in St. Paul. Nailed it. And this is in case aliens come to Earth where they think they're going to land in St. Paul. Yeah, and, okay. Nailed it. And this is in case aliens come to Earth where they think they're gonna land in St. Paul.

Yeah, and they have a spaceship that size. Yeah. Why, when aliens attack Earth, are they so obsessed with North America? They love them. There's a lot more monuments. They hate monuments, yeah. But there's monuments in every country. That one's we're familiar with.

That would be great if in like, if in Independence Day three, they ran out of monuments to blow up. So they are going and doing like a little, like all the giants. There's a smaller tour. The like Muskoka chairs that are literally littering this country's highways. Not the Easter egg. Oh, Brent Spiner, please get in there. Come back, please come back. And and Bill Smith the mayor of Edmonton

There was also I remember in the original Independence Day where they start broadcasting to everybody else on earth how to kill the ship uh-huh, and then the French resistance are sitting like smoking cigarettes and finally they say Independence Day sitting around like smoking cigarettes and finally they say independence day. We call it best deal. This is our best deal.

Please translate. We will upload the code. Jeff Goddablu. Oh, man. That's my Ken Sem impression. What's that? And that's my Ken Simmons impression. Oh, that's good. Yeah, he changes day to day when he's at his little gym. Yeah, or when he shotguns a beer in front of a bunch of kids. He's so cool.

He is so cool. Yeah. Is he rad? Yeah. Have you met him? Have you guys met him before? No. No, I'm not cool enough.

What? That guy's the biggest laugh. He's breathless laughing at the fact that I've never met the mayor. I don't know. I just thought it funny you shot that down very quickly. Yeah. No. No.

Move on. Get back to those people who killed other people, please. What is... So one thing that's happening at Little Mountain Gallery is a thing happening with my friend Graham here And it's gonna last for I think 23 hours 23 hours We're and then the last hour we're gonna watch the movie 24 hours. Yeah, we all laid down. Yeah, yeah independent Think about independence. They couldn't get the lights silently. We all sit there and imagine Yeah, their favorite scenes the one where the dog survives was my favorite deleted

scenes. A dog lives didn't test well. The dog lives in it. It dog dies in the deleted scene. Oh, shit. Okay. Which they say is the superior cut. Yeah. And the the engagement ring that Will Smith is getting Vivica a Fox that is shaped like two dolphins, I think She's gonna love it. I swear at your tramp stamp. Yeah Of a dolphin ring But yeah, we're doing on May 23rd

23 May 24 24. Yeah 24 24 hours, 8 p.m. That's a Friday to a Saturday. Friday to Saturday, the 8 p.m. to 8 p.m. Yeah, this is my fourth official time doing it, but third official time with LMG. Yeah, and these are always very fun. Yeah. Very, very

loopy. We raise money for a local charity and Delp LMG is a not-for-profit and Graham's on stage for 24 hours. Comedians are writing jokes, uh, for Graham to read. And the thing about that people love when you read their jokes is that you don't just read the joke. Like you actually deliver the joke. And multiple people have mentioned this. Oh really? Yeah, cause they love- Cause we were thinking about replacing you

and then some of the writers came in, like no, this guy really- Yeah, yeah, he votes for it. It was a lot of the 3AM writers, so don't worry about them. Yeah, and so like Dave's was a writer. You know who's one of the 3AM writers? Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20.

He's on brand cause he's on brand 3am. And, and push and smooth. Smooth. Yeah. And I want to yeah, that's push is pushy. Yeah, I think that's it. And it was all ghost ridden after that. Yeah. Yeah. But every hour or so, because it's the writers turnover. Every two hours, yeah. And so in that two hours, repeat bits start happening and they become runners of that two hour chunk. And then new people come in and they're like, what the fuck is all this Kool-Aid man stuff

you guys were talking about? Yeah. And my favorite genre that we did, the last one, was saying, ladies and gentlemen, something as in like. SNL. SNL. Yeah.

Yeah. And it was really funny. To me, it never got old. Yeah, you survived that. I can't believe you agreed to do it again. Me neither. Because it's punishing. It is.

For you and I mean, I'm there as well. As someone who's known Graham for 20 years. Punishing. He needs something, some like a way to direct the punishment. He would just be at home punishing himself. That's true. Standing for 24 hours by himself. Do you remember any highlights last year, David? No.

One, the year. Can sim was there. No, the year we did the one when it was closing, LMG was closing. I had brought up Milton Berle joke file. And then there was hundreds of jokes about Milton Berle's giant penis. Well, we didn't even which is featured in Milton Berle's pants and shorts. SNL. No, Shorts. SNL? No, it's an SNL movie.

Oh, that's right. Oh, really? Yeah, it's him and Chevy Chase, and he takes out his dick to prove to Chevy Chase that he's got a bigger dick. Like, you may be the new big thing in comedy, your show hasn't aired yet. And that was portrayed by an actor

who thought he was gonna play all of Milton Burroughs, but he just only played the cock. St played him. No JK Simmons. Really? Yeah Oh, that's pretty perfect. It's a good I don't know if it's a good movie. I like it. Yeah, it sounds fun I think a fun. I will I want to watch it again. Yeah, and I'm gonna okay Have you seen it? No And I'm gonna. Okay. Have you seen it? No, I haven't seen it. Will you though? I don't know.

There's so many good movies that have come out. This isn't one of them. Sinners I heard was really good. Did you guys watch that? I saw that. Was it good? Was it good? I told you last week.

I was expecting scary and it wasn't very scary. It was like more of like, we gotta battle these vampires. And also we need to spend an hour setting up the fact that we are building a dance club in the 30s. So, but was it good? Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna see it.

What was the last movie you saw in the theater? There's been a lot, you, this is, it should be said, you were at Little Mountain Galley. How many hours a day? 18 hours a day. Sometimes I am there that long, yeah. And then soon to be 24. 24. Plus all the days, or all the hours setting up.

Yeah. And taking down. And we also agreed for some reason that after your show, we were going to let Jacob Samuel do his show at 930. And I know we're going to regret that. It's going to smell bad. Jacob? Yep.

Yeah. And Jacob's been on the show, friend of the show. Yeah. It's gonna smell bad. Jacob? Yep. Yeah. And Jacob's been on the show, friend of the show. Yeah. Yeah. Very funny guy. His birthday is coming up on? November 5th. Friday.

And? And? And Saturday. What? Oh, I thought there was gonna be a party after the 24 hours. There is gonna be a party, but he's gonna be upstairs by himself doing his show at 930. Jacob, Samuel and friends. There's going to be, so you're going to, are you going to stay for the party?

I'll see how I feel. After that many hours, your body just goes on kind of an autopilot. Now I'm, I've volunteered. I think I volunteered. Maybe you did. No, absolutely. I don't know if I'm volunteered or if I'm getting paid to do a two hour writing session. Last year, all the writers were given

Little Man Gallery t-shirt. Mm-hmm. Yep. Do I need to bring my t-shirt? I would love if you do still have that t-shirt, but please bring it. This year we've got tote bags. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we love spending money over at Little Man Gallery.

Yeah, you've got- You gotta spend money to make money. Yeah. So, waitin'. You have a giant raccoon mascot costume. That's right, from MakeMascot.com. Let's look that up, wait. You have a giant raccoon mascot costume. That's right from MakeMascot.com. Let's look that up, please. So, MakeMascot.com.

Internet done. If you're ever looking for a mascot, what they have done is they have just stolen pictures of mascot costumes and then they will make kind of an approximation of what they think that looks like. Yeah. Is that a... Do you have a piece of this business? No, well a little piece in the form of the glued together raccoon. Can't go out in the rain, the glue will wash right off. I'm worried about that, yeah. Oh, there's a grimace. You can get a grimace.

You can get anything, but clearly that's just a picture from promotional material. So you don't know what the actual grimace is going to look like until it shows up? No, it's going to look good though. Fucking A, it's going to look $469. That's really cheap. Good thing there's a lid on that coffee. Is this the standard price? Are they all around? Yeah, three, four hundred bucks. But I learned after a normal mascot costume will cost like ten thousand dollars

And that's even not even talking about the furry ones that you can have sex in. Oh, yeah Well, I mean you can have sex in all of them, right? Graham very true I can do like I can buy a five dollar pair of pants and have sex with them And that's your mascot Mr. Gresty pants, I'm a regular Milton Burroughs. Burroughs? Yeah, the mole version, the furry version of...

Oh, yeah, that's kind of funny. Like the Zootopia universe. Yeah. The Milton Burroughs. Oh, I was listening to that thing on the radio in the morning where they're doing... Wait, it's called Alphabucks. And you have 30 seconds, you have to answer 10 questions.

They all start with the same letter. And usually it's like, okay, your letter is G, name a color. Green. Yeah. And then they, they're usually easy. Like something springs to your mind right away. And the contestants in this episode were a seven and a 12 year old on the phone

and their letter was Zed and they were the questions were so difficult the letter was Zed and it was like uh this is a pill you take if you're too stressed out wow combined age is 19 yeah and then Zootopia this is. Zootopia. This is a- Zootopia one? Vitamins. This is what fake diamonds are made out of. Jesus. Wow, they really didn't want those kids to win. And then they said name a country

and the kid goes, Zootopia. Yeah. Yeah. They should let him have that. Yeah. That's what we call it though in Canada. They have a different name for the country. Yeah.

Yeah. Rawr. Rawr. That's so funny. Especially because I bet those kids, for the country. Yeah. Yeah. Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! Rawr! That's so funny, especially because I bet those kids, the parents were like, we didn't tell you you were allowed to phone into the radio.

You were supposed to win. We're taking away your phone. Yeah. Yeah. Did either of you, well, did you used to call? All the time. Yeah, me too, all the time. I was obsessed.

What did you call? Well, I made it. I competed in the Burger King X Games through the radio station. What does that mean? Yes. Well, let me get to it. You call in and you win,

and then you get to go to the Burger King parking lot with a group of friends, and you run a relay race, which is you making a burger, pouring a drink, and then someone has to eat the burger and drink it fastest. Is that the team, like your teammate has to do that? That's right. And how did it turn out?

We won. No, you didn't. Yeah, and the prize was that we got to be, we got to go to Pladium when it opened and we were first in line. Oh wow. Pladium was like a big arcade. A cool arcade, yeah.

But it didn't do very well though. No? No, I don't think those lasted that long, did they? People in Vancouver, I never went to it, but there's like a generation of people who look back so fondly on the era of metrotown mall that had Palladium and the Rainforest Cafe. Yeah. And Storium, that was a brief period as well. Do you remember that? That was down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, just a different thing Everything that no one really likes. Yeah, I know I liked it I went to the auction for when they were selling everything off and I tried to bid on a barrel barrels are so fucking expensive

It's crazy The symbol of like being too poor to have clothes you got me over a barrel here Where are you gonna shoot your fish? So you won this thing. Like shooting fish in a barrel. Was it affiliated with the X Games? Nah, just sort of named that by the radio station and Burger King. But yeah, we were up against, you know, a lot of adults couldn't take the day off because it was a work day.

So we dominated that. Advantage kids. A lot of adults couldn't take the day off because it was a work day. So we dominated that. It's kids, a lot of elderly people and us. And did you, uh, it was this school day. Oh yeah. Your parents said you could go do this or were you playing hooky? We didn't. I thought, you know, they would be proud of us. Yeah.

I mean, they should be to win. What, um, uh, another question. One more question. I Was just thinking about that. I watched stand by me with my daughter this weekend. Oh, yeah Good reception. Yeah We like we had pretty good reception we had Rabbit ears on the old

But yeah, I guess that I was thinking about the pie eating kind of with the burger eating. Yeah. And there's all the vomit. What is this character's name? Lardass. Lardass. Yeah. Boom bop ba boom bop ba boom bop ba. Lardy.

That's a lump lump lumpy. Lumpa waru. And yeah, he. Some respect on that name. Lardass. Lardass. Lumpass. And what he eats a pie that and he drinks a bunch of castor oil.

Castor oil, yeah. I'll give castor oil a try just to see what I've done. I like watching movies that are set like before I was born. So when I watch movies with my kids I don't have to like, if I watch like Ferris Bueller's Day Off I have to be like, okay so in the 80s this was the way it was. Yeah. At least if this takes place in the 50s I'm like, I don't know, castor oil. I've never tasted castor oil in my life.

Presumably it's gross. We had a lot of lead back then. In old movies that are set in the future, and they have those ads for like, you know, in Blade Runner where it's like Kodak film and stuff. Yeah. They're like, this is going to be around forever. Yeah. Yeah.

I always thought Kodak was going to be with us for all time. Well, they're coming back. Are they? Yeah. People are shooting movies on film apparently. Oh, shit. I, yeah, I always think of in Back to the Future 2, how they have a food rehydrator and they put a pizza in it. Pizza Hut.

Yeah. Pizza Hut. Yeah. Promo. Also, they have like funny shaped pepsi's mmm, and they have Facts machines that tell you you're fired and nothing else. Yeah. Oh, no the fired machines boo Yeah, and his kid wants to watch like eight channels at once. Yeah and two ties Or one tie that was two pieces teenagers pulled their pockets out on their jeans. And upside down boots. What's your favorite thing from the movie?

Right in. Yeah. Yeah. There was a whole thing with the hoverboards, apparently, where kids rode in saying, where can you get a hoverboard? And the people who rode the movie were like, just tell them that it exists, but you can't buy it.

It's all sold out. Or just sell them nothing. Yeah, you can't buy it's all sold out or just tell them nothing yeah yeah yeah just stonewall those kids well i mean it was 1989 you write a letter you never hear back who cares they're not like flipping into robert zemeckis's dms and uh dear back to the future i'd like to buy the following items that you featured two ties i'm an old-timey guy but i'm still a kid in 1989 please make one in the old west Back to the future, I'd like to buy the following items that you featured. Two ties. I'm an old timey guy, but I'm still a kid in 1989. Please make one in the old west. Yes, yes.

The third and kind of. Did you like that one? I liked all of it. It was all back to the future. Yeah, that's true. And it doesn't hold up for me the fact that they had to give. Doc Brown. Well... Doc Brown? Well, Doc Brown marrying Mary Steenburgen.

Steenburgen. There's a bit of an age gap there. Yeah. But he was de-aged in the future, if you remember correctly. He pulled off his skin. That's right. He waited to pull the skin off to impress Marty. But he looks exactly the same.

Isn't that the joke? No, I think he was a little bit older actually Yeah, I thought he was a little bit older and then in the well It's like you're like a kid explaining with yeah, actually yeah, he's a little if you look closely and then In the what I don't like about it is they go back in time into 1885 going back in time like about it is they go back in time to 1885. I hated going back in time. Why didn't you say 1985? Where things are fine. So many interesting things. Reagan. But they go back and Marty McFly's like great great great grandparents are there and it's him and Leah Thompson and it's like how long is this family bit? Those two people fuck. Yeah.

Generations after generations. A lot to think about in that movie, yeah. I follow like a movie memorabilia auction site and one of the things you could buy is the You're Fired paper. Oh, cool. How do you know it's real? I don't know.

It seems like an easy thing to... To lie about? Yeah. As long as you had a dot matrix printer. Yeah, and I could spell you're fired. Yeah, it's weird that they had dot matrix printers in the future. Yeah, why did those not change?

I don't know, have you bought a printer lately? They suck. No, yeah. I have a printer, but yeah, it sucks. My printer rules, it's laser. Oh, cool. We're looking at it right now. Yeah, it's a brother, but it's not color.

So if you need something printed in black and white, I'm your guy. What's your printer you got at Little Mountain? Great question. It is color, and I've been starting to buy those knockoff inks. Do you get that? No, because it's laser. You don't need to. What?

You just get a toner cartridge, it'll last for years. Really? I only know that because Dave told me. But, uh, Graham has the inks. And if you don't use your inkjet printer in like a month, then everything dries out anyway. Oh shit, really? They also know, uh, the printer knows if you don't use real. Yeah ink so how do you convince it to use it? You got to turn the Wi-Fi off so it stops updating because the fake ink people are always trying to be one step ahead of

The printer people right make ink people this sounds like a science fiction book book Trying to get the movie written, but no one wants to make the fake ink, people. Please option my book. It's got 10 full color page photos from the movie being written. Yeah, glossy photos. Yeah, from the movie that we hope is what we got. It's a mock-up.

Here's Dave in front of the computer upset about how short the movie is. Oh, I'm gonna commit murder before this comes out. What's a movie that you've seen where you feel like they had to stretch it? Like, you know, the basic, like they had to stretch it for time. Didn't I hear recently? Flubber. Good answer. Good answer. I heard recently that the reason Baywatch did all the slow motion was to stretch it.

To stretch it? Really? No way. Yeah, but it was their signature thing. Have you guys watched Baywatch Nights? Yeah, every night. You have? I drew myself in.

I only read the wiki on that one too. But you know Baywatch Nights. So Baywatch Nights was the spin-off of Baywatch and it stars David Hasselhoff running a detective agency. Perfect. And then that's the first season. The second season, it didn't do well. So it turns into a sort of an X-Files situation where he like meets aliens and Vikings that have been frozen in time. But the best part is that each episode starts with him finishing his shift at the beach and then going- Oh, he's still working full time at the beach?

No, no, no. There's like a bit of a crossover and then he goes at night to solve these mysteries. When does this guy sleep? He doesn't. There's nothing in the show about that. But also like how does he have- that's not't. There's nothing in the show about that. But also, like, how does he have... That's not a thing about his personality from the show. He's not solving beach mysteries, and then he's like, let's take this to the nighttime.

Also everywhere he goes, he leaves a trail of sand behind him. And they always have that, like, floaty thing. He wears his shoes around their torso. He takes that off. He does at night. In the beginning of the episode when he's getting off work. He hangs it up. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what drives him to drink

and then he's eating a Wendy's cheeseburger on the ground. That was probably the best celebrity thing that ever happened. Like the best, most... That was like when we first got cameras on our phones. Yeah. Like, well, I gotta record my dad drunkenly eating. On the floor? On the battle floor.

Well, he might be in the Burger King X games. You don't know if he's competing or training for that And Wendy's though cuz they got those square burgers. Yeah. Yeah, they hurt if you eat They go they don't go down smooth. Oh got lodged in my throat. I got a corner yeah, the I'm trying to think of something that would be better than the David Hasselhoff one But it's I mean what I think the first thing would be better than the David Hasselhoff one, but it's- I mean, I think the first thing we ever saw on a phone camera was Michael Richards racist

rant. Oh yeah, before we knew that it was a possibility of recording somebody doing something like that. Of racism, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that was before the Michael Richards show or after? After.

After. I like the Michael Richards show. It was only on for like six seasons. six six only six only six seasons but they knew when to quit what was the Jason Alexander one he did one where he was like a self-help yeah and then he also did a rolled gold pretzel advertisements and then he wore that wig for a while remember and he wrote that long weird letter about why he was gonna wear the wig I didn't know what the letter I know what the way he wrote a long like just like an op-ed in the past Yes

About why he was wearing the wig why it was right to wear the wig and why he shouldn't be upset about wearing the wig And no one asked really yeah people people mocked him because they're like you're famously bald You can't run away address this if you read letter, he addresses that in there about page two or three. Yeah. And he in a famous episode of Law and Order, he had a white, long hair. It was Criminal Minds. Oh, it was Criminal Minds. Okay. Yeah. He had white, long hair.

Yeah. Yeah. He had white, long hair. And he was a reoccurring character on it. He was a bad guy that came back more than once. Yeah. 2014, Jason Alexander explains to pay decision. That's the AI summarization though. Any highlights there? We had a summit and we made the to pay.

The hair summit, yes. He's clarified that it's a semi permanent high quality hair piece he wears for extended periods like weeks at a time. Like weeks at a time. Have you ever seen the videos of somebody getting that done, like where they glue it to the head and then they style it? Oh yeah, it looks good! Yeah, like it's a miracle. Yeah.

And then they give them a haircut? Yeah, and it stays on for a couple of months and then you go and you get another one. That's a hair system. Yeah. I think it should be fine honestly uh Jason Alexander wasn't wrong. I think people should be able to wear wigs. I disagree. Counterpoint. All right. Graham? Dave's writing his own op-ed. Yes I like I'm fine with the hair piece. Fine. Yeah I think if it makes you feel good, do it, right? I choose hair wore. Wear it on the top or Chewbacca style on your face. Yeah. On your entire body. Chewbacca style.

One more time. It's a high quality Chewbacca costume. Semi-permanent Chewbacca. Genuine Chewbacca wear. Chewbacca with bald. He's like bald. His face is all hairy, but he's bald on top. He's combing it forward over the ice.

Lumpy's just so upset. Let it go, Chewie. Oh, God. Yeah, so that, and then Julia Louis-Dreyfus, she went on to, was she the new? New Avengers of Old Christine. Yeah. And then Veep. And then?

Thunderbolts. And then Veep. And then? Thunderbolts. And? The Winter Soldier and the Falcon she plays. And? Another character. She was in, do you guys remember? She made a movie with James Gandolfini. Oh yeah, what was that one called?

I cried watching that on the plane. I cry on the plane. Was it like, it was like, Give me my peanuts! We don't do that, sir. I want a refi- I don't want ice in my coke. We're landing the plane, sir. I don't want to put my tray up. You're in zone Zed on Flair.

Did you hear there's a new zone, Zed? Is there really? Yeah. And- That's one of the things you can answer in that competition. Zone Zed. Z it really? Yeah. And that's one of the things you can answer in that. Zed comma zone zone away knows, zone started with his head as well. Sorry about that. That's all right. Okay, well, edit another thing out of the show. Um, what is what is zone Zed?

Just so it's absolutely they make it clear. That's the lowest class you get no carry on, you board absolutely last, and they make you stand aside and they make you put... They make you stand up on the plank. They make you stand up. They put a dunce cap on your head. You are the seat actually. You become the seat.

For zone Fs. And they make you put your little bag in that tiny metal bag size. It's not the right size. It's not the size of under the seat. It's smaller. And so they make you, they do this whole song and dance forcing you to do this in front of everybody else. It's humiliating. And they make you put your genitals in a chastity belt.

Yeah, then you got to wear that the whole flight. Some people request it though, honestly. Sure. Honestly, it's my kink. That's how I wear these $10 Krusty Pant costume. Krusty the clone, Krant pants. Have you, like the last time I flew Flair, I just had a tote bag and that would fit in perfectly.

Oh, was it a little mountain gallery tote bag? I think it might've been. Not yet, that's this year. That's this year. You also have hats, right? You also got a little mountain gallery tote bag? I think it might've been. Not yet, that's this year. That's this year. You also have hats, right? You also got a little mountain gallery hat. You got shirts, you got tote bag. So I hear you guys actually have hats.

Tell me about that. I got a little enamel pin. Yeah, that's classic LMG stuff. Yeah, so we've got, that's a great lead-in. Yeah, we've got hats. Thank you. If you guys want hats, if you want t-shirts, we only have extra smalls and triple xls left uh and those are just the hats yeah those are they're all if you're if you're a pinhead or a gigantic head are you a Chewbacca size or a

mars attacks alien what's your favorite monument it's on this this hat. Yeah, we've got big hats, little hats, whatever you guys are into. But not medium hats. We're all sold out. And they're not adjustable. Seven and three eights is the largest you can get. Is that small? I think that seven and three eights is my hat size. Oh, okay. For my fitteds. Yeah. But I got a lids. Yeah, cause I know that when I was a teen, I wanted that limp biscuit hat that fitted New York. And did you get it? And I did, yeah.

Nice. But they didn't have my size, so I just wore this really tight red hat. Was there anything on it or was it just a blank red hat? When Fred Durst said break stuff, you're like, yeah, my skull. I? When you when Fred Durst said break stuff you're like, yeah my skull I gotta do it Fred Durst says Yeah, why not? He knows his shit. I did it all for The Wookie that's yeah, and that brings our episode to

So you can stick that cookie and stick it up your heart Please lumpies listener Dave what's going on with you, man? Big week here. Big week. Well, so I mentioned a couple months ago that my dog was diagnosed, Irma, the great Irma, was diagnosed with a torn knee ligament. Oh no.

This is from playing too hard, no. I think we isolated it to running around on, when our dogs are bad. And so we don't ever let them off leash around other dogs, but when it snowed in February, we let them run around in the tennis courts because it was fenced off in our backyard. No.

No. The new tennis ball. And we didn't do it, the help did it. Yeah, the help ran with the dogs. Yeah. Chased them. Over at the park over there and they ran around and she came home limping and then a couple of weeks later

she was like not putting any weight on it. And so they said she has a torn CCL. Okay. That's a cranial cruciate ligament. And what is this? Do they get an x-ray? How do they diagnose? They x-rayed her.

Yep. Okay. They had to knock her out for the x-ray. I wish they did that for humans. Did they give her a biscuit for that limp? Nice. Hey, what do you guys think about that? We're back.

We're back, baby. Yeah. And they said, she said, you can take that cookie and stick it in my mouth. The think about that? We're back. We're back, baby. Yeah, and she said, you can take that cookie and stick it in my mouth. The dog said that? No, she said, Irma said that? Yeah. Yeah, right before she passed out.

And so we scheduled her an appointment. It took months. And then, so this past week, we took her out to New Westminster, where they do knee surgeries on dogs. And this is, famously Canada has our free healthcare system. This does not carry over to dogs and cats. No, in fact, we had to let go of some of the health.

This was so expensive. We're going to have to close the old tennis course. Really sorry, Peter, we're going to have to let you go. But where will I go? My tennis courts. Really sorry, Peter, we're gonna have to let you go. But where will I go? I'm my tennis pro. Train my dogs to teach tennis, not play teach. Yeah, teach, yeah. So we went, we took her in and they knocked her out.

They fixed her knee. Yeah. They woke her up. She was like, one of these people, we took a video They woke her up. She was like one of these people. We took a video of her waking up and she was like, is God real? Yeah, it's me. She had all these- I came back with some demons. It was like half an hour of the vet like talking to me about her like recovery schedule okay and it's been it's so like so much to keep track of it's like okay she needs these pills this many times a day right she needs this liquid medicine this many times a

tough to get her on that foam roller as well she's do, we give her a massage, she's got to stick her face through the hole in the... A big dog would love that, just getting pet with their face through a hole in the... Oh my God, and you hold like peanut butter. Yeah, yeah, you know. Big Mundare sausage. Delicious. And so like, you know, I'm, every day I'm crushing up pills. I'm mixing them with peanut butter. I'm spreading it on my penis.

I totally think you can reach. And she is, she's not allowed. So for four months. Four months? Four months, 2000 flushes. That's right, four months. She is going to be in recovery. Oh my God.

Week, no, month one, she can only do five minute walks. Okay. She's not allowed to be off leash, even in our backyard. That's the little dog? That's the big dog. Okay, yeah. So she's 40 pounds as well, 45 pounds, and I have to carry her up and down stairs.

Oh, she's not allowed to go upstairs even. She won't be allowed upstairs for four months. Wow. And the... She's gonna miss the whole season. I know. Well, she might be around for the playoffs. If we win the pennant.

But she is not allowed on the couch. And we have two couches. And one couch, we were like, we tried to like put up a bunch of like stools and chairs around us so she couldn't jump up. And it wasn't discouraging her at all. Was it even more of a challenge kind of thing? She was like, well, I want to know.

Because that's the couch that's right next to the window and she loves looking out the window. So she's on painkillers right now. So she can't really feel what she's doing to her body jumping up there. Yeah, I guess, well, it's not even the jumping that is, it's the danger of the jumping that she slips and then she could injure herself.

Yeah, do you have that slippery couch? Let me just grease the couch. And so we, for the help. After a couple of days of trying to figure out how to keep her off the couch, we decided, oh, well, let's just lay the vacuum cleaner on top of it. She's afraid of that. Very smart. So anytime I want to sit on the couch, I have to move the vacuum out of the way.

The vacuum cleaner's name is? Hoover. Yeah, Hoover. I'm also, I'll be honest, I'm a little bit scared of vacuum cleaner too. Yeah. Why? What happened to you early in life? Oh, I guess my parents were murdered by James Dyson.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Then they were eaten by a shark. Oh shit. And then the other couch. Sharks and other animals. Yeah, that's what I was. Oh yeah.

That's a cheaper brand. Yeah. It's an cheaper brand yeah an Amazon brand what's the one with the little face the British one dirt double no devil there's a guy is good like a bully or something like that yeah like a British guy's got a little face Thomas the Tank Engine does it yeah vacuum come on back no my vacuum with. How come it's only done when I want to look up stuff? That's fine.

It's a pneumatic Henry. Henry! Does it have a face? It does. Yeah, it's got a face. There. Oh, this one's called James. James.

But you see him if you go to Britain. They're everywhere. On the streets. On the streets. On the streets, yeah. They vacuum on the wrong side of the road. Different side of the road. And then our other couch, we have, no, we've decided that like we should just,

she's gotta get up on this couch. So we've just made a bunch of levels. We put a mattress at the bottom of the couch that she can get on the mattress. We took one of the cushions off so she can get from the mattress onto the cushionless area and then up onto the cushions. Okay.

And we're sleeping downstairs. We're like, our whole life is. Cause that's your mattress. Yeah. We're sleeping. We're sleeping, I mean, waking up with a dog between your legs. Well, that's the peanut butter that's doing it, I think.

On your wedding night. You're probably wondering how I got here. And that's the dog saying that. Yeah. And then you go back, see the whole movie. Thank you, make mascot.com. I reached out between my legs and ease the seat back. Anyway, so we are in, soon I'm gonna have to take off the bandage and I'm not looking forward to that.

Did you sign the cast? The cast only lasted a day. They wanted the dog walking as soon as possible. And so like no playing with the licking of the stitches or anything like that? Yeah, we're not, I'm not allowed to lick the stitches. No matter how much peanut butter. You can play with it though, a little bit. It's so umami.

You gotta get it on the back of the tongue. Got a good mouth feel. Yeah, so, yeah, no, she needs to be, and she loves, she's got allergies, so she's licking her paws all the time anyway. Oh boy, oh boy. The dog has allergies. Yeah, so what? Allergens, okay, just like you. Yeah. Yeah, I have more in common with I'm 45 pounds as well Scared of scared of shit a vagin. What should I have said human dander? Yeah human dander Yeah, is that what is she really just I don't know. It's just I environmental Like it might be her food might be sneezing all the time. No just licking her paws. Oh weird

They're itchy. They're itchy feed her a lot of peanuts peanut based. I do give she does tap dance on peanut So we are yeah, it's gonna be a long road But I feel like once she's once we're done like the painkillers, the pages and pages of instructions they gave me, I'm just crossing things off the list once we're like, okay, we've finished. We're not doing that. Yeah, I'm not, I don't believe in that.

I'm heading the dog, I don't think so. I don't believe in antibiotics. Where's the peanut butter pages here? But like once we're done the antibiotic phase, I'm happy. I'm like, then we're gonna be done the painkiller phase in a few days and then, you know. And then have you taken a peek at the scar? No. No.

That's probably so gross. We have to take her back in a week to get the sutures removed. Oh, like a staple? I don't know. I haven't taken off the bandage yet. Oh, it's gonna be so gross. We go down to staples. We go down to Staples.

Yeah, we go down to Staples, get a ream of paper at the same time. You know, you're there anyway. Yeah. I have a laser printer actually, so I don't need to look at the ink. Check it out. Is that your mayor, Ken Sim? No, it's me. Oh, that was Dave. Oh, okay. They're so similar.

In every way. I was at a city council meeting one time, not to brag, and talking about something that they were ignoring. And Ken Sim was, he was at this one, usually a lot of the time he isn't, and he was looking at me like this, just sort of arms crossed, leaned back in his chair. Mm-hmm. And nodding his head once more. Nodding, yeah, with like a little kind of half smile. He was liking what I was putting

down. Okay. Voted against it, but that's fine. Maybe that's his look before he shuts it down. Yeah, we don't need any more orphans is what he said afterwards. He had sneakers on, he's pretty cool. You were trying to make a lot of create more orphans. Yeah, I would say, there's not enough orphans in the city. Yeah, you said to the lady,

let's create an orphan tonight. We have all these factories. Let's create an orphan tonight. Pladium, storium, they're all empty. Let's get the orphans in there. Yeah. Yeah. Fill them wall to wall.

Anyway, so we're going through dog stuff. And it sounds like a nightmare. It's, you know what? It's bringing us close together. Me and the dog, everyone else is alienated. Uh, is that for real though? You sleeping downstairs so the dog has company? The first few days we have been,

but I think we're just gonna be, she just has to sleep in her crate. Yeah, yeah. Shit, that sucks. Oh yeah, and all the stairs have to be like, locked up. Sawed off. Sawed off. Blocked off. Sawed off.

We had to install slides. It's so tough to get up. We pull her up by the leash. Goodness, bad news. Hermes in pain. Goodness. The kids love... Kids love...

There's nothing kids like more than walking up a slide. They like it more than going down. That is true. Walking up a slide is pretty killer. That's all those wood chips that are at the bottom of your stairs. Sorry, slides. It's true. Walking up a slide is pretty killer. That's all those wood chips that are at the bottom of your stairs. Sorry slides. That's all right. What's going on with you, Graham?

Nothing as dramatic as any of that. I, my wife is doing a lot of buying things from estate sales and flipping them and then selling them on a posh mark and these type of things. Oh, like what kind of things? Clothes and then there's, we went to go pick up a large, kind of very cool looking set of bowls and then like a fake fruit made out of like wood. It's like, it's a cool looking thing.

Okay. But it was out in Abbotsford. Okay. Famous. That was an estate sale. it was out in Abbotsford. Okay. Famous. That was an estate sale. It was an estate sale, yeah. How did you, did you know it was gonna be a good one? Did she know it was gonna be a good one?

She knows more about it than I do. But they put all the pictures of everything online, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then you bid, and then if you win, you gotta go, you gotta go and pick it up. Like an auction. Yeah, like an auction, yeah. When you say estate sale,

I think of like just a yard sale. Oh. Oh, yeah, no. When you say estate sale, I think of like just a yard sale. Oh, yeah, no, this is like... No paddles. Yeah, I mean, it's all virtual. You don't get paddles. It's all virtual these days. Yeah, yeah. The only paddling I'm doing is of the new people in my fraternity.

Congratulations on getting in. Well, I'm actually the boss of it. Oh, really? I've been at college for 25 years, you know. Sort of a Van Wilder van Wilder guy. Yeah. And you know what? Young Bert Praetor. I certainly hope that one day we see a rise of Taj. He has risen. So I went to an Abbotsford is an hour away. Yeah, at least. It's got their own airport, and you can fly into their airport for cheaper, but then it's an hour drive plus to get into the city. So,

oh, what? One of our dogs is from Abbotsford. Is that right? Yeah, okay. A monster, I think. Yeah, you know how long a drive it is. I enjoyed the drive very much It's like a three-hour bus ride to get to the airport there. I believe it because you can save a bit of money

Yeah, but only if your time is worth nothing. Yeah, just you know what? I'm gonna go zone Z instead of driving out to Abbotsford. I'm just gonna can you imagine I'm flying in and you're selling your friend Don't come pick me up You can pick a dog up though. So it's not it's worth your time. That's true or a fruit bowl but This is what she bought a lot Look it doesn't have to make sense. This is just we're just throwing out ideas. She's flipping in the words of Michael Michael Richards there are all these words

I kind of did the bad kung fu he. That's from his apology, right, on Jay Leno? Yeah. Everyone was laughing. It was letter read. Don't laugh. Yeah. Yeah, sorry, sorry about that. It was letter read.

It was letter read. I don't know if it had gone, if it was a news story yet that he had done this on stage. And so the audience was sort of like, Hey, it's Kramer. Hey, it's Kramer. He's doing a funny thing.

He's apologizing for being racist. We'll still laugh. But the guy who's a state sale this was, lived in a cul-de-sac. It was absolutely jammed with cars who were coming to pick up their things, so unpopular with the neighbors. And then I've never,

I don't think I've ever been to downtown Abbots for before. So we went to go check it out. Charming as fuck. Starbucks. They got Starbucks there. They just recently got no, their burger can close. It's just sitting there empty. No one can play the X Games at this point.

People are just waiting in that park at night. So the, you're saying the cul-de-sac is full of people picking up the stuff and the neighbors hate the guy, but isn't the guy, I'm assuming the guy's parents have just died and he's selling their stuff and so- And they hate that too. The house will be for sale soon, I'm guessing. And he's a suspect, he's a number of suspects.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have either you ever been to Abbotsford, aside from picking up a dog? Barely. Yeah, right? It's like it's a place you drive through if you're going to the Okanagan. Yeah.

It's like sort of the end of the Vancouver area. And it's the gas out there. Unbelievably cheap. It's so good. Yeah. It's worth it. They have all the flavors. Let it, un-let it. Super let it as well. Yeah, diesel's worth them all the flavors Let it unleaded super lighted as well diesel. They got diesel 11 diesel

Super leaded. Absolutely But we we decide to go walk around Abbotsford and like I think it's been used in Hallmark Christmas movies as like me It's an interesting place, cause it's known for like biker gangs. And- Christmas movies. Christmas movies. Never the two shall meet.

And that Santa usually is played by a biker gang guy. In the off season, yeah. Cause he's got a torn ligament. And yeah, instead of a tear, he's got a little candy cane. Do you guys know anyone that's been in one of those Hallmark movies? I know Christine Bordelin. That's right, friend of a teary, he's got a little candy cane. Do you guys know anyone that's been in one of those Hallmark movies? I know Christine Bordelin.

That's right, friend of the show. She was in Run Away Christmas Bride as the sister. Yep. Nice. It's worth watching. That's one of the ones they filmed in summer and then added Snow Digitally later. Yeah. And did they have snow in the background, like white sheets?

Trevi Chase wouldn't have complained about that. Why can't Snow Day be? Snow D, I don't have time to say the background like. Trevor wouldn't have complained about that. Why can't Snow Day be. Snow D. I don't know the time to say the whole movie. If you look in the IMDB actually Snow D is what the fans call it. Their D heads. But another one, the actor who I directed in my student film at Vancouver Film School was the lead in one. I can't remember what it was called.

But he was good, he was still good, you know, I taught him a lot. He's very handsome. He's very handsome. To be a lead in a hallmark. Yeah, he was very handsome and very tall. He's very tall. Oh, yeah, they probably had to get

other people on Apple boxes. Yeah. That's equity. Yes, I've seen that meme as well. It's not a meme, it's a teaching device. Well, when I see it, it's a meme. Okay. If I'm seeing it, it's a meme.

It's a meme, Mario. It's all Mario's. There's Wario, because he's the shortest, then Mario, Mario, and then Luigi. Luigi's the tallest. Luigi-O. Luigi-O. Yeah. Luigi-O, yeah. Are they all related? Is Waluigi even taller?

Oh, that's right. Yeah, Waluigi. Yeah, Waluigi. Lest we forget. Let's just, I'm just gonna Google Waluigi height. Waluigi height, yeah. Yeah. Waluigi net worth.

Seven foot seven. Oh, shit. Okay. So Mario's are- These are the eight tallest Mario characters Okay. So Mario's are tall. This is the 8th tallest Mario characters ranked. He could play with Chewbacca. It's gotta be Donkey Kong.

Wait, Donkey Kong is... Tallest? Gotta be the tallest, right? Well, Petey Piranha is 12 feet tall. Donkey Kong sort of hunched over though, so... Bowser's 8'4". Okay. Donkey Kong's 7'10".

7'10", okay. My favorite split. Waluigi 777 like minute bowl. Ice cream for me. Banana. Rosalina's 7-3. And she's got legs that go from here to ya ya ya. Birdo. Birdo's 6-3.

That's not true. That's not true at all. Peach is 6-1. Really? What site is this? This is Game Rant. GameRant slash MyFetished.gov. And Daisy is an even 6-1.

That's not true. That's not true at all. Peach is 6-1. Really? What site is this? This is Game Rant. GameRant slash MyFetished.gov. And Daisy is an even 6-1. That's not true at all. That's not true at all. Peach is 6'1". Really? What site is this? This is Game Rant. Game Rant slash MyFetish.com. Daisy is an even six feet. Who's Daisy? Luigi's girlfriend. Oh, is it? I believe Daisy is the sister of Bo and Luke.

She's six feet tall? That's not true. It's true, man. It's not Screen Rant. Go to the Mario Wiki. That is not true. It's true, man. It's not screen ran. Go to the Mario Wiki. That is not true. It's on game grunt dot com. How tall do we think Mario himself is? Six five. No, no, he's big Mario or little Mario. Oh, that's good to know.

Yeah, I like to make you guys think. Yeah, I'm going to go with big Mario, though, like just the one from like Mario Cart. OK okay do I say Mario or Mario? Mario officially we say it in Canada Mario in the states they call it Mario no they say Mario they say Mario we see Mario yeah what are some of the main and some side characters heights it we could just ask Mario famously Luigi it's Luigi's. Okay, Wario's five seven Peaches this other website also says she's six one

Oh, this one says daisies five eleven. Okay. Okay. There's a bit of fan war online These are two different camps Five eleven were six foot one was the other one. Uh, when mario's official height is five foot one I thought one a little guy king. That's the official height. five foot one. Five foot one, a little guy. Sword King. That's the official height? That's the official height. The other ones are unofficial. That's the Guinness Book of World Records. Tallest Mario.

Yeah, the tallest Mario and the tiniest Mario. And this says Waluigi with his knees bent a bit is seven foot one. So it's not tip to tail. Yeah, so yeah, if you could count a height on his tippy toes. But he doesn't, he can't straighten his knees. That was like when he was out,

running out of a 7-Eleven. You know, yeah. But he was wearing a big hat, so I'm not sure. Anyways, went to Downtown Evans for beautiful fun. So when you say she's flipping stuff, is she like refurbishing things or is she just like, oh, this was cheap, I'll sell her. Yeah, this was cheap. No'll sell it for. Yeah.

Oh, this is cheap. And so now you sell the fruit. Not yet, but, uh, you know, sell it before summer. It'll melt. That's right. Purchase price was what was the price? I don't know. Selling prices.

You're why is she keeping you out of the family finances? I'm just, uh, not that interested in the amounts of money. So when you're doing your taxes today, which I'm starting as soon as this podcast is done. Do you have any fruit to declare? And what was the purchase? You're not supposed to be able to take that fruit into America.

Honey, what were your fruit earnings this year? Wood, plastic, and? Fruit of the Loom, these are all your fruit needs, I guess. Fruit needs, yeah. Common expression. But, yeah. Common expression. But I went to an all gluten-free bakery and their stuff was fucking amazing and now it's like that hour drive. Do they sell any of

the stuff in town? Sometimes a lot. No. But there are gluten-free places not far from where you live. Yeah. But this place is out of this world. Wow. Yeah. And it was a huge lineup to get in. And it was, yeah, really good stuff. Had a brownie out of this world. Had an apple fritter.

I feel like a brownie would be pretty easy to do gluten-free. Wait, apple fritter? Aren't you allergic to apples? Not cooked. Not cooked. Only raw. That's a fact. Did anyone update the Wiki right now? Yeah. With Graham's weaknesses. And Graham's height. Just exactly the same

as Mario. What about the apple pie? What have you un-Bend your knee? Yeah. 5'2". I've got tiny little knees. But yeah, it's, I was out of the site, the drive was fun, you get to really sing along with the radio. Oh yeah? Yeah. And it was fun. We got a whole lot ready or not. Ready or not.

Edmondsford FM, call in now to win this CD. You think at the radio stations they're using CDs? We're doing a contest. We're closing down. At the closed Burger King parking lot. It's Bomb Fights. Name something that starts with a B. We can't pick and choose our sponsors at this point.

Media is... Bomb Fights has got a lot of money. But yeah, that was my big travel on the weekend and keep it here on the ones and we'll tell you what the traffic is like all morning long. Do you guys want to move on to some over heard? No, I want a Jumbotron business message. Oh yeah, let's go to some business. Yeah, that sound that we alluded to is the Jumbotron sound. You better believe it.

And if you want to do this, this is something where you can express a message, a feeling, a thought to somebody else via our own voices. And this one is for Ben from Elena or Elena. No, it's Elena. Elena. And they want to say. Ben wants to say. No, it's Elena. Elena. And they wanna say. Ben wants to say, no, Elena wants to say. Dearest Ben, beloved cat father, tire enthusiast, I wanna know about that.

And my favorite person in the world, happy birthday. This is a big one, baby. Baby. Here's to the big five-o from Boopy Raffy and Ludo in heaven I can't wait to celebrate with you we all love you so much shut up grandma he's a genius a lot of family stuff going on do a clean read where you don't laugh the The cat's dead? I didn't laugh.

I didn't laugh. I said, what the? Yeah, Graham was more incredulous. He didn't know. He thought all the cats went to hell. That's right. I'm yeah, tire enthusiast. What do we do?

Are we thinking bike tire, car tire? Generally, yeah. Yeah. A regular Michelin man. Yeah. I think it's probably a good year. Got some white walls. Maybe he works in the tire industry.

Yeah. Yeah. And what do you do at the end of that life? Roll on. Retire. Oh, that's much better. Edit mine out. Actually, no, leave mine in so that Grams is that much better than what I said. And also. Much better.

Yeah. Happy birthday, Ben. Happy birthday, Ben. Happy birthday, Ben. And let's get back to the show. Oh my gosh, hi. It's me, Dave Holmes, host of Troubled Waters, the pop culture battle to the ego death. OK, everybody, word association with Troubled Waters,

first one to fumble loses. Go. Comedy. Panel show. Guests. Celebrities. Games. Oh, sound rounds. First one to fumble loses go comedy panel show guests celebrities games Oh Sound rounds improvised speeches puns disguised as trivia a very niche flash Gordon clip Jevil Rowan. Ah, no Riley. I'm sorry. She will not return our phone calls. I am afraid you're out a

Girl can dream. Oh, but dreaming will not earn a girl any points. Troubled Waters! Listen on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello sleepyheads. Sleeping with Celebrities is your podcast pillow pal. We talk to remarkable people about unremarkable topics, all to help you slow down your brain and drift off to sleep. For instance, the remarkable actor Alan Tudyk. You hand somebody a yardstick after they've shopped at your general store.

The store's name is constantly in your heart because yardsticks become part of the family. Sleeping with Celebrities, hosted by me, John Moe,e on maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts night night. Over heard over heard the segment out there and in here where if you hear them, we would love to hear them too. And we always like to start with the guests Brent Do you have an over? Oh? Yeah? I've got got so many of these, but Let's keep it to ten. Yeah, okay sure I'll start with the first one so this was at the The barber shop I used to go to is really close to LMG was Where the it was exclusively Irish guys worked there, and they were very mean

if you've ever had a haircut where they really press the clippers into your head, you know what I mean? Like they're shearing a sheep. And if you say anything, they don't respond. But- Does it work against the grain with the shaver, go with the grain? Against the grain, I think is pretty typical, yeah. Sure.

The Irish style, I'm pretty sure is what we said to be true. For sure. And just the guy next to me was making small talk with the— Was it a leprechaun? Yeah, it was a leprechaun. Oh, I'm the man of Vancouver. You pay him a couple gold chillings, and away you go. Just along the locks.

And the guy responded, the guy in the chair said, what are my hobbies? I really like eating sandwiches. That's taken up a lot of my time these days. I'm competitive. Yeah, and then that conversation ended. Yeah, because the Irish guy's like, I only eat potatoes.

Yeah, with potato bread, you can make a pretty good sandwich, not true. With potatoes on it. Potato chips with some potato chips. And potatoes not even from Ireland. So what were they eating before that? Peas. Yeah, potato chips with some potato chips. And potatoes not even from Ireland. So what were they eating before that? Peas.

Yeah, pineapples actually, they grow over in Ireland. What? Yeah. Was that a Tim Allen? That was a Tim Allen or it was Dave's dog. Yeah. Oh yeah, both. Friend of the show.

My dogs are friends of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they had the call in. Now, you said you have a bunch. How many do you have? How many do you wanna do? Yeah. You can do up to, well, tell us the number. One?

Okay, well, I'll do this other one. It's tough to do a direct quote, but... That's literally what this segment is about. Sorry, everybody. But my building is under construction, and it's been under construction for two years. Very famous, a case of like, what's that called? Leaky condom.

Con, con, con. Leaky condom. Oh boy. You do not want that. Working against its purpose. I live in a weird place. Yeah. We're creating orphans over here.

Yeah. Making more. Leaky condo. And so this is the second time. This was a big crisis in Vancouver for the 90s. Yeah. Like it was on the news every night, the leaky condo affair.

And it's still going on. It was, they had imported all of these California style construction techniques into a very humid climate. And so the water was permeating the walls and they had to basically tear everything out. This is the second time this is done. So I am not allowed to have curtains in my apartment right now. Anywhere? No. And then so in my bedroom there's a balcony and I will wake up a lot of times to the construction workers hanging out out there. Sure. And their conversations will create my dreams.

Are they on your balcony or just outside? No, no, no, on my balcony, outside my bed. And a couple of months ago, I woke up to them talking about how they all pleasure their lovers. Oh, nice. Yeah, and the technique. This is standard construction worker techniques that they use. I mean, it wasn't, it wasn't a gross conversation, but it was like my dream. Kind of me, like, I don't know, the grocery store or something.

And then suddenly a bunch of people talking about the techniques they were using. Yeah. In inner quote, the direct quote. It was, it was a bit blue. Sure. We're fine. This, this airs at like 1130 Well, they were all sort of in agreement and they had some good ideas

But they were like, you know, you just gotta you just gotta go for it. Just keep going Just keep going you can achieve anything Wish this place had curtains. Just go for it. Yeah, and they were saying like, just go in, come out, you know what I mean? In and out, give it the old in and out. They start making, you know, I'm sort of paraphrasing here, they start making a noise. That's when you know that you're doing a good job. You keep going for it. Keep going, keep going.

And then the other guy said, well, that's great. But have you ever tried, you ever tried this? Uh, which was, you know, some more, uh, some more mouth stuff. Sure. Mouth stuff. Sure. And I was listening, you know, I was pretending to be. You were writing down notes. Yeah, I was writing down notes because the journal, I keep in the pillow next to me. Yeah.

Under the pillow in case of attack and, uh, to write down the suspect's features and sketch them real quick. Uh, and they were going for one, this was like, you know, 8 AM. So I'm not sure if they were on a break or what was going on, but there was five or six of them out there. Sure. And they all talk like that.

Yeah. So I don't know what I went into there. Yeah. And, uh, sinners, there's a lot of like, Hey, just so you know, mouth stuff. Mouth stuff. Like they're teaching, the two Michael B. Jordans are teaching their little cousin, hey, try mouth stuff.

And it was in the 50s, 30s? 30s, yeah. So it was, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, that was the mouth stuff you were supposed to do. Well, it was pretty new back then. That's true. Yeah. Just invented straight off the charts.

So they're just, they keep saying just try my stuff They were just saying like yeah, they were comparing notes really and it was like in a positive way I don't I don't know it wasn't like as gross as you might imagine. It was very sexual in nature Yeah, but just some pals just some pals that were work friends talking on a balcony while a guy slept next to them Inside of a room. Yeah, I'm never sexual in nature. I'm worried about a bear attack or, you know, like a slug or a that horny Pepe Le Pew. God, I hate that guy. He was canceled. He wasn't out on the balcony, was he? He was working on a different part of the site. Yeah. So those are the he's not as as He was he was sent away

He was sent away Uh dave do you have an over heard mine's an overseen. I was driving down the street and uh, it was like eight in the morning made 30 8 40, okay, and there was a guy out Uh, and he was dressed in like raver clothes Big wide pants. Big wide, enormous pants. Glow sticks that weren't really doing anything.

He was light out, yeah. Had that hair gel that like. He was, but he was on his way to work. He like has a raver aesthetic, but he's clearly like got a job he's got to get to. And he was having a very serious conversation on his like headphones. And while like, you know how normally you're, if you're having a very serious conversation on his headphones. And while, like, you know how normally you're,

if you're having a conversation, you're gesturing with your hands? He was having a serious conversation, but I just saw him doing the like, the raver hand motions. Like, that's his, he must do that for everything. The way Italians have their own thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mario, yeah. Well, did you hear his conversation? No, I was driving by. Oh, right. I forgot that part. Yeah, slow down and roll down the window. Hey, what are you talking about? I got a podcast to do.

That's why it was an overseen. This one counted as an overseen. Oh, overseen, which counts, which totally counts. Which totally counts. The streak is alive. Mine is also of the overseen variety. So don't ask too many questions, okay? Yeah, sorry about that.

Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about that. Totally counts. Totally counts. The streak is alive. Mine is also of the overseen variety. Don't ask too many questions. Okay. Yeah, sorry about that. I love when you see like a corporate goth or corporate raver, like they have a day job, but they've still got the accoutrements of that signals that they are.

Do you know anybody who was a goth and currently is still in of the goth aesthetic? Once a goth, forever a goth. I was thinking of when in the movie Rockstar starring Marky Mark Wahlberg, where his day job is he repairs laser printers and he says they get a lot and he's fixing it and the guy is like, hey, your eye makeup is running because he wears eye makeup to work. Better catch it. And he's like, I'm in a band.

Ah yeah, and then he was in the ultimate band? What band did he become a member of? Rockstar Supernova. Oh cool. Yeah. Lasers are just my day job. Yeah, I just do lasers in the day and then at night, I'm blind as a bat.

Yeah. Working on lasers all day now We I do have to leave. So yeah, sorry about that. Sorry everybody Mine is what the overseen variety. I took a photo of it the aforementioned Abandoned Burger King their sign outside had the the final thing in the you know, the put up letters and it was Meal thing and the you know the put up letters and it was meal meal just meal just meal make a meal of it yeah yeah do you think there was more and those were stolen or is that the last thing they were fired mid marquee yeah like they

were told they got meal up and then that was it yeah well meal is usually the last word you would put up after like extra value or super burger or whatever It's true it is true. Do you remember the the Burger King X games. I'll never forget King on Main Street that Oh, yes. Yeah, they like they went out of business, but the building wasn't gonna be torn down for another six months So someone just made a knockoff Burger King. Oh really? Yeah. When was that?

I think it was like, I don't know, 10 years ago. Okay. Go back to through our old catalog. I'm sure we brought it up. You can go on Google Maps and go to Street View and you can actually go through the years. And that's very fun to see how many restaurants have failed in a certain area.

In a given area. And how many places are just a freshy. And wasn't the Burger King right next to McDonald yeah that same Wow it was the burger zone the quarter McDonald's one and there I think there was an A&W a few blocks away the train station man oh man my Canadian good all those up guys up folks now we also have overheards that have been sent in by listeners all over the map. Don't worry, we're gonna make it. Yeah, yeah, don't worry about me.

I'll just leave. Dave will just go, we'll spritz until he comes back. If you wanna send one in, you can send it into sbyatmaximalfun.org. This first one comes from Meredith from Maine. This is over-dreamed. We allow various amounts of dreams to pass through. Brent's saying no, he's suspect of this whole thing.

I'm gonna listen first. Okay, so this is Meredith from Maine. I wanted to share my boring dream. I have very boring dreams. For instance, a dream I have very, I feel like it was such a dream that my travel agent is retiring, a dream that I'm repairing a garage door with a group of boys. Man.

So this gets even BBD. They were boys to start. Boys to men. So I was having a dream that felt like a stress dream where I couldn't accomplish what I needed to accomplish, but the source of the stress was that my pant leg kept riding up my calf. And so that was the dream. Yeah. Well someone had a good boring dream about meeting with Metallica and they just set up like how should we do our calendar? Should we use Google calendar?

So that's that can't wait over but over dream that's someone else's dream heard about it's your own dream It's your own dream. You can report your own boring dream or hilarious dream. Next one. Yeah, next one. Here we go So sorry everybody about this this comes from Sharif and Says from Oakland, California Yeah I was exiting my neighborhood farmers market when I noticed two women Apparently in their 30s talking at the entrance one says and I was like meow meow meow fuck you. You're not my real dad

you you're not my real dad. Blah blah blah. Meow meow meow. Woof woof. Apparently in their 30s. Yeah I mean if you had to eyeball them if you had to. Yeah I mean that's what the I mean the makeup industry exists for women to appear to be in their 30s. Oh my god it's like Estee Lauder. And that's farmers market lighting. That's that's right. Yeah harsh Absolutely unless you have one of those big straw hats Yeah, and you know if you're a bok choy bok choy always looks good under any lighting as far as I'm concerned His last one come from Daniel C from Davis, California I biked to work through downtown today and the fire department was seemingly testing the hydrants by turning them on and letting

water flow into the streets. They had this device at the end of the hose that was either redirecting water or testing the PSI or something, but I laughed because I looked at what was called and the brand name was Big Boy Hose Monster. BILOCAL. Elbows up guys. Yeah, Big Boys. Canadian Big Boy Hose Monster. Someone with the face on it. Franklin. Shout out to Franklin.

In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. I apologize everyone. I gotta go. Dave's gotta go. I have a heart out in nine minutes. We're gonna do it! We're gonna make it! I don't even have time to play Roundabout by Yes! You can imagine in your own head. Dave's gonna try and play it anyways. Yeah it's only eight minutes and 36 seconds long. Oh that's some good bass. You know what driving planning is school? They're dangerous.

Eight minutes Dave, eight minutes on the clock. Hey Dave, Graham and possible guests. This is Alec from Watertown, Massachusetts and I've been overheard from a while back. We were in an Apple store and had just finished talking to the associate and he bore a very strong resemblance to Ed Sheeran and when he turned around to help the next customer, that customer immediately said, hey, has anyone ever told you you look like that singer? And the associate says, yeah, I get that a lot. It's the red hair. And the other guy goes, I love redheads. They're mutants. I'm a scientist, but you're a mutant. No friggin' way. Off I go. I Hate to tell you this but I do science you Rupert Grant

Both mutant. Yeah, you're short Ed Sheeran Five one. What's that? Five one. How do we think Ed Sheeran is? Five six five seven. Yeah, and so that's a short king for sure. Well, that's not a short Yeah, where does the short king cutoff go? I consider myself just out of short king territory. How tall are you? 5'8", 5'9". Get that on the Wiki.

Yeah. Ed Sheeran height, oh, it's gonna give it to me in metric. I don't know what 1.73. Dave, six minutes, six minutes on the clock. Convert it quick. Fine, because it's worth it. Five feet, seven and three quarters inches. You know what that means?

Five four. If you're adding three quarters. Bryce is right rules. Yeah. I think you won. Oh, it's all these pictures of him next to Taylor Swift, who's honestly as tall as Princess Daisy. I don't know who Princess Daisy is, but.

From Mario? Sorry, what was that line up there? That was Ed Sheeran with Frankenstein? Five minutes. That is Ed Sheeran. How tall is Ed Sheeran? Height comparison with, I think that's the guy from the Guinness Book of World Records, like old timey black and white photo.

Oh, the giant guy. The best Guinness. How tall is Ed Sheeran? This is a video. This is from a celebrity. So, yeah. A height guy. It's the French voice's the French voice we all know how it's here we've all heard of edge here what accent is that Dave five minutes yeah Dave five minutes six minutes we're good hey Dave and Graham this is Ben in California calling

in with an overheard was just in line at an auto parts store and there were a couple of guys in line behind me and a dude waiting at the register for something and the guy at the register turned to the guy that was the furthest back in line and said hey man anyone ever tell you you look like Chris Christopherson? He's like I don't know who that is. But then the guy just ahead of him in line said, no, man, he looks like Gary Busey. Jesus. And the guy, the first guy that had brought it up was like, no, man, he doesn't look like

Gary Busey. You're a jerk. I'm a scientist. Off I go. You're a scientist and you're a mutant. I'm a bit of a Busey scientist and What's the name of his sitcom? Feeling kind of Busey? No, Jake Busey was on Jake Busey. Yeah, he was on Oh, sorry. He was talking about Gary Busey. I was picturing Jake Busey in my head. Busey?

that was um Ben Harrison calling in past from our Edmonton live show. Oh, Ben Garrison, famous cartoonist. That's right. There's a lot of those very little. Trumped. Yeah, this was Harrison.

This was Harrison. Oh yeah, sorry about that. And it wasn't Juicy, it was Bucy. From one of our diminishing Edmonton live shows. Every show. Every year, more and more elbow room. I was there. I was at one of those.

Yeah, which one? The one in the church? No, the one that was sort of, it was downtown. There was a boardroom table, like three or four, that was sort of in, like, around you guys. I don't remember that. And it was, like, mostly standing room. We did, was it in the radio station? No, it wasn't.

It was sort of just in this big kind of multi-purpose room. Oh, like in the downtown society or whatever? Yes, yes wasn't. It was that it was sort of just in this big kind of multi-purpose room Oh like in the downtown society or whatever. Yeah, that was the that was the What's the opposite of a? Zenith or nadir. Yeah, that was a good show. Yeah, it was full. Well, we yeah, we do good We deliver. Yeah, and your final phone call. Hello guest and probable Dave and Graham You deliver. Yeah. And your final phone call. Hello guest and probable Dave and Graham. This is Matt from Saskatchewan, Saskatchewan with an overheard of the kids say the darkness

kind. Are you with my kids about how I know their mother better? To which my youngest replied, I think we know mom a little bit better dad. We've been in her uterus. No frigging way. That's a fake one. That's a fake one That's not real. It's just a short guy. It was Ed Sheeran saying it. Yeah. Well, first of all I didn't even have the name of the show correct

Can say the darnedest kind is what this guy said. He's just making stuff Well, you'll say a variety or a kind or I guess whatever He's gotta go So you could do in a 24-hour live. I sure am at a little man gallery starting on May 23rd, please buy tickets You guys should do a live show at Little Mountain. Maybe is it we like to do a boardroom? Yeah I mean it would be big enough in Edmonton Yeah, you guys probably yeah, probably the bill more is more size correctly, right? Sure. We've done the bill more before We've done the bill more done the Rio. oh okay freaking Rio all right never we made do

the Salazar room yeah we could do we could sell out raccoon room for sure for sure for sure yeah so please come check that out it's gonna be tons of fun and every night of the week little mountain gallery has all all your comedy needs. Tuesdays and Saturdays. Yeah. Tuesdays, two Saturdays? Yeah. Two to four shows a night. And Graham has a show every single week on Thursdays.

I'm sure he brings it up on the show all the time. I've plugged it. Yeah. Yeah. So please come. It's an amazing show. Graham picks some really hilarious comedians in town. Yeah.

And then you can win prizes on top of all of it. Cool. Cool shirts and romance novels and stuff. So come check it out. Thank you everybody out there for listening. We love you. Come on back next week for another episode of Soft Podcast Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.