Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 896 - Amber Harper-Young

Episode Date: May 20, 2025

Comedian Amber Harper-Young returns to talk pope movies, house painting, and room service. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 896 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Grant Clark. With me as always is a man who will be a writer on my 24 hour comedy show happening at Little Mountain starting on the 23rd, going to the 24th, 23rd at 8pm and 24 hours later I'll

be dead. I'll be dead. They'll cart me out of there in a box and that'll be the end of it. And you can find out more at littlemountaingallery.ca. And he's also just a generally awesome guy, Mr. Dave Shonka. Hi, yes, I'll be a writer for one of the sessions. I think Saturday at noon. But don't, you know, the whole 24 hours is all,

and you can stream it online I think you go to the little mountain gallery YouTube. Yeah, it'll be streaming and You'll be creaming your yeah, you'll be dreaming your dreams cream What all the guys do the guys? Drip what a guy's do Mean cream is pretty good. Six will cream the guys will Oh. I mean, cream is pretty gross. The chicks will cream, the guys will ooze.

That's no better. Graham, are you sick? I am. I've got a cough still. I was sick all last week, but- We didn't- Hey, welcome to the show and to our sick studio. We didn't record last week. We had two banked.

Yeah. And Graham was like, ah, count back up, bruh. That was too leaky. It was too weird. I was, yeah, dripping. That was dri- I was absolutely dripping. Our guest today, return guest to the podcast, always love, love, love having her on the show.

It's Amber Harper Young, hello! Hey! Hey, player! I'm dripping to the max! Yeah, we're dripping, we're all dripping. Drip is a thing, right? I've got drip, that's a good thing. Yeah, it's like your style, your outfit. Your jewels yeah, your jewels you don't want to post nasal drip. That's that's the one that you don't want. I got allergy drips. Yo

Do you are you do are you an allergic person? It's something's happening right now That's out where I've been like for the last three weeks. My eyes are burning my my throat the last three weeks, my eyes are burning, my throat is like scratchy or whatever. And I go outside and I just, like tears are running down my face the first time I'm outside. Do you think it might be allergies? But according to your algorithm,

you were saying that you've been getting a lot of videos about menopause, so is it possible? Yeah. Callers call in. Yeah, callers call in. Any women experiencing menopause are also dripping, let me know. Should we get to know us? Yeah.

Get to know us. Amber, it's been about a year since you've been on the pod. Okay. What have been the highlight of the last 12 months or so? The highlight, oh no. What's been the highlight of a month ago? What's going on? Yeah, tell us all about it.

Graham, that was a very weird question. It was too broad of a question. It was like a year. Let's think about the last year. Well, boy, who was Pope back then? Yeah. Yeah, how do we feel about the new Pope? Are we excited about this Chicagoan? I don't even think I've seen a picture of him. That's how it like-

He's skateboarding. That's the crazy thing is that he's skateboarding. He's telling me all these lies about the Pope. He's the most extreme Pope ever. He's one of the youngest Popes. Can he ollie? Can he do an ollie? He can ollie. He can do flips. He can do rail slides. But. Is it a bit- Can he ollie? Can he do an ollie? He can ollie, he can do flips, he can do rail slides. But that's it, that's the rest of it. He's got a job to do. You know what I mean?

I don't know if I'll look at him. You don't know if you'll look at the pope? I don't watch, I try not to watch the news and stuff. I know, but you gotta see the pope at some time, at some point. Why? Just so you know that like how close, when he's portrayed in a boring movie later, you'll be like, huh, that guy looks, he actually does look like Jake Gyllenhaal.

Off the top of your head, who would be able to play our current Pope? Well, we did too. We've had so many Pope movies lately. That's true. But I like Pope Francis, I feel like would have been really portrayed well by, oh my God, I can't remember the name of the actor, but he looks exactly like him. We did the two, the two popes. Did the two popes.

And who was that? That was- Anthony Hopkins and Jonathan Price. And then there was young pope. The young pope was Jude Law. Jude Law. And this is, oh, jump in any in anytime Pope wise, whatever you got, Pope wise. And who is the Pope in the Pope's exorcist? Tony Shalhou. Who do you think, so you think that the, that Francis looked like someone who's not one of

the two popes? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll, I'll, I'll. He's dead now. Yeah, he's dead. And they picked a new pope right away. Do you know, do you know? If he clears like a trash can on that skateboard, then I'll probably check him out. If he's like a standing upright trash can? Or he like grinds down like a railing on a stir staircase. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all the way down. I'll probably look at him. Yeah, here according to this, this Reddit post says that he does look like Here, according to this, this Reddit post says that he does look like the old- He does kind of look like him.

Like Jonathan Price, who portrayed him. Oh, that's the old pope, yeah. Yeah, and then they're also saying that maybe he looks like Jeffrey Tambor or Larry David. Well, either of them could portray him on SNL. Both of them are hotties. Anyway, back to you. What are your pope thoughts? Oh, yeah. Yeah, what are you. What are your poke thoughts? Yeah, what are your goals for the next few years?

Yeah, because I'm such a stoner. I'm like, last year, I'm like, what was happening? I don't know. What do you do? Do you do a gummy? Do you smoke? Do you bong? Do you vape?

I smoke, which I should probably try to gummy, but like the gummy gives me too Weird of a body hangover. Oh Yeah, but it's a nice feeling. What's a bot? Does the smoking give you any kind of hangover? No, but probably affects your lungs not nicely. Yeah, but yeah, I'm doing a pack a day of doobies I I'm doing a pack a day of doobies. I remember that being the thought was that you would buy them in like a cigarette package, but like when they became legal. Yeah, that was kind of the fun like instead of being in a bag that you get the yeah.

Yeah, I'd be a lot of that's a lot of pot to smoke. I would expect that Dave's this stoner. Yeah, yeah, certainly. How do you do it? What's your oh my god. I rub it on my gum. Okay, yeah, to make sure it's real. Yeah, certainly. How do you do it? What's your preferable? Oh my god, I rub it on my gum.

Like cocaine style? Yeah, to make sure it's real. What? Yeah, because they don't... Cigarettes come with like a warning now. Yeah. No, no, you don't even see the brand anymore, do you? No, it's like one stripe that says what the brand is and then the rest of it is just a cigarette. And the warnings used to have like a little sort of stylized.

Are they all just like skull and crossbones now? Because they used to be like, here's a picture of Lung. Here's a sad kid. The pictures are so much more graphic. Yeah, they're really gross. What, hey, if they did it with doobies, what would it be? Like danger of eating too many Doritos? Too many munchies? eating too many Doritos?

Having too many Doritos? Danger of not remembering your past year. Yeah, sure. Do you roll your own? Do you get a pre-roll? What do you do? Oh, I get a pre-roll because I'm trying not to smoke as much because it affects me in the way that you've just witnessed where I have not a lot of memory.

But at least your body doesn't hang over. affects me in the way that you've just witnessed, where I have not a lot of memory, but. But at least your body doesn't hang over. I guess the last year I've been running that show, Cool Fun, which even on them, it's on hiatus, cause it's the summer right now, and I'm not a strong producer. Are you a summer person? Do you get out there and enjoy every minute of the summer?

And also when do you think summer starts? Summer is right now. It's a state of mind. Summer is not yet. I'm pretty sure it starts in June. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I know this. And yeah, I like the summer, but I'm also very fair.

So I have to be aware and I have to always have my sunscreen on. You wear a big hat. No, but you know me, I wear a lot of hats. Yeah, that's true. You wear a lot of hats. I just generally wear hats. I don't know if it's because of that or... Yeah, I am the same. I'm very fair. I don't like sunscreen. I hate it. Yeah, sunscreen is the worst.

You hate the feeling of it, right? You hate the feeling of it. Yeah, guys are like that sometimes. Yeah, guys are like that sometimes. Yeah, guys are like that. Moisturizer or lip stuff. Yeah, I like moisturizer. Okay. I got a big bottle of Jerkins on my bedside table.

Eww. Softest dick in the game. But not soft like that. Well, he's been getting a lot of heads about menopause. Yeah, I like the summer in theory, but then when it gets, it's okay here in Vancouver. You go to a city like Toronto during the summer, it's absolutely miserable because it's all, there's no shade, there's no break from- There's no shade in the whole city.

Yeah, and I'm not throwing any shade. Because they won't put the Skydome roof up. That's right, exactly. And I'm part of the resistance. But yeah, you used to live in Toronto. Yeah, I actually missed the humidity in the summer in Ontario. Do you really? Yeah, it's weird, right? Well, yeah, why do you miss that?

So that's the thing I like about the summer is how warm it gets. Yeah, it does, yeah. Like I feel like the humidity in Ontario, maybe it's just because it's associated with a lot of summer youth memories. I think it feels kind of like a atmospheric, like blankie or something.

Like, you feel like... Yeah, it's all over you. What are your, like, great youth summer memories? A lot of it's, like, really, like, Tom Boyish, like, being a feral child out in the fields and stuff. Climbing like towers, climbing like trees. Sand tower. Yeah, just, like, having the allergies but out in the field right in front of the thing that's killing trees. Yeah, and tower. Yeah, just like having the allergies,

but out in the field right in front of the thing that's killing you. Yeah, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just being really bored, being on your bike, riding like too far out of the boundary of where your mom told you to ride and being scared and like being excited about stuff like that.

What is the, because- Those all sound great. Yeah, those, and I was the same. Yeah. But I loved riding my bike. Yeah. But I also loved staying home. Staying home's great, riding your bike.

If you lived, as I did, not that far from big construction sites where they were building entire neighborhoods, whoo, ramps galore. Yeah, sneaking in there too, so exhilarating. Ramps galore heads. Like- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was, also, did you go to a lake? Did you have a lake that you went to?

I would go to a lake with my family. We had like a trailer on Lake Erie. Oh, cool. Yeah, so like the whole, well, it was like my grandparent, it was like everyone, so we'd go there. Do you have a favorite, is Lake Erie your favorite great lake? Well, Lake Erie, obviously. Yeah.

Is it? Yeah, we put my mom there, so we put a rash there, so I have to say that. Okay. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's true. Okay. You have a personal connect. Do you know, did you, do you have an opinion of all five of the Great Lakes?

Well, Superior is rude, you know, and snobby. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What about Lake Huron? I feel like that doesn't come up very often in the Great Lakes conversation. It doesn't. I think it's like, yeah, I think it's the underdog of the lake. So now actually it might be inching up to my favorite. I'm a big underdog person.

Okay, Huron's on the way. Yeah. Yeah. Superior is up there at the top. Well, Erie's at the top for her. Yeah, Erie's number one. Erie, Huron's number two. Yeah, I'll take Huron. All the way down at the bottom. Well, Yuri's at the top for her. Yeah, Yuri's number one. Yuri, Kiron.

Yeah, I'll take Kiron. All the way down at the bottom is Superior. Yeah. It's really sort of anterior at this point. Interior, I guess. What else is there? There's Ontario. Yeah.

And Michigan. Michigan. Homes, baby. Actually, I'll put Michigan third because I love basketball and they always have a good basketball. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Fab Five.

You're such a jock. I am. I'm a big stoner and a jock. I kind of, you know, live in all kinds of worlds. Yeah. I watched the Breakfast Club and I was like, they are all literally me. I'm a nerd. I'm a goth.

I'm a princess. Somebody pointed out, and I think it's very true, that it's Ali Shidi who plays the like alternatively. When she's done up, she looks way worse than she looked so good before. Hair was all over the place. It's completely unprovoked. There's nothing from the plot of the movie that makes you think, oh, she wants to look like that. Yeah, have a little bit of a makeover. And then Emilio Estevez likes her?

Yeah, all of a sudden because... I gotta see the images on this. I don't know. I'm confused about the reference. You don't know? You know the Breakfast Club, no? Yeah, but I can't remember this aspect of the... The makeover. Yeah, so Ali Shidi is like the, she's not a goth, but she's kind of, yeah.

And then the, she's like smaller ring all gives her a little makeover. Oh yeah. And she then she looks like a middle-aged woman. Yeah. Yeah. Like her hair. She's so cool. She's the coolest one of the gang. Yeah. And she's, yeah, what, why? And why Emilio Estevez? Is he just...

Because he was, because the other two are going to get together and Michael Anthony Hall, Anthony Michael Hall is not getting together with anyone. He's got to write the whole essay for all of them. Yeah. And then he gets to hang out with what, the janitor, let's say? Is that the other character he can be friends with? You've you've seen this film of course yeah they showed it to us in school more than once what yeah and like english class like rebel yeah yeah you guys are a bunch of gent nelson's and i'm the principal um they smoke a doobie in it there's no way the principal doesn't smell that And they smoke a doobie in it. There's no way the principal doesn't smell that.

Yeah. And like, don't they barricade themselves in the library at some point? Yeah. That's like dead poet society. Like I'm sure a lot of teachers show their students that, but then doesn't one of the kids kill themselves? So it's just like, I don't know.

And the teacher's like, it could be any of you. Yeah. What were the, what were the movies that you were showing in your school? I feel like I probably got shown The Scarlet Letter. I feel like we were reading that book. Yeah, we did. Whenever we, in like grade 10, 11, 12, whenever we did a thing that had a famous movie, we would end up watching the movie.

Yeah. Like Streetcar Named Desire. Like The Outsiders, I loved that. The Outsiders. Yeah, that was the best. Yeah, I feel like Romeo and Juliet, there were a lot of options for watching. We watched the old one instead of the cool one.

I had to go to the theater for the cool one. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I think our whole class went to the theater for it and we weren't even studying it. They were just like, this is once in a million. This is Shakespeare. This is once in a million. You're never gonna see Leo through a fish tank again.

And I know I told this story on the podcast, but we went and saw the crucible when it was in the theater. And the first scene. Who's in that? It's a good book. Anthony. Michael Hall. Bourdain.

Is Winona Ryder in it? I think Winona Ryder's in it, yeah. And wasn't one of the people in it related to Arthur Miller? I don't know, maybe. Nevermind. Well, we went to go see it. Daniel Day-Lewis.

Daniel Day-Lewis. In the first scene, there's a guy from Police Academy. It is like. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Well, my friend just kept doing sound effects the rest of the movie, and we were told we were asked to leave the theater. Because everything, he just kept doing like.

Brrr, pssh, pssh, pssh. Psh, pssh, pssh. Psh, pssh, pssh. Did you see the theater in our neighborhood is playing Rust? Oh, I can't wait. The movie where Alec Baldwin killed someone. Oh no.

Killed the cinematographer. But that's why they're playing it. I guess so. It's like a hip, I get it. I get why they're doing that. But they were playing, I guess it just came out and I was like, who wants to see this? And I go on the app to buy tickets. Not a ticket was sold on opening day.

Oh, no. I mean. And the second day, there were four showings and I kept like checking the app and I think they sold four tickets to the six o'clock showing and everything else was. I think everyone should review that movie as like, was it worth a murder? You know, like, yeah, let's see. On a scale of one to 10. Because, you know, you've got, you've got the Crow,

there's, what was the movie, was it Twilight Zone or something, had like a huge accident during it. Oh, what was the other one? There's another one that's like a famous. These are your top four on Letterboxd. Movies where actors were killed. You peek in that like empty theater, it's like Graham by himself. He's got a big bottle of Jergens next to him.

I'll take another ticket for Russ, please. Are people seeing it thinking, well, first of all, I gotta see Alec Baldwin as a cowboy. Yeah, that's true. And is there a, do you see the gun pointing at the camera in it? I wonder. I also wonder, like, is this the first time that a guy who is currently on a reality show is also the star of a movie? No.

At the same time? First of all, this is not a movie. Yeah, it's a film. But like, it would not. It's not something that you would ever have heard about. Like this is yeah, I wouldn't have heard about it if not for yeah, yeah, like then I'm sure there's people on whatever. Don't forget the lyrics that are in bad movies as well. I don't know what reality shows are. But doesn't he have a show where he's like his wife is got so many kids and his wife is mean to him?

Or is she just space cadet? I don't know. I don't follow. Do you know anything about the Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin reality show? No. No, me neither. So I know he's got a lot of kids. He's got a lot of kids and his wife has a fake Spanish accent. It was called out for that. What?

Wait, she's putting on an accent? Yeah, according to reports. Kind of like Madonna, remember when she had an English accent? Oh yeah. Same kind of thing. Okay. Yeah. Oh, Madonna.

So many changes over here. It's so weird. Not weird. Kind to imagine. And what's that accent? I don't know. I was like, do whatever happens. Yeah, what's the, like, I feel like there was a movie

I saw years and years ago that starred Bill Murray and Robert Duvall and I was the only one in the theater. Have you been in a movie theater with Just You? Yeah, it's so awesome. What movie was it? But it's also kind of scary. Yeah. The staff comes in and they're walking behind you

and you're like, who's behind, who's that? You've got Joker makeup on and a trench coat? Yeah, I don't know what movie it was I saw alone, but I love going to the films alone. Yeah. It's like, I run a show now on Tuesdays, Taco Tuesdays, so I can't go to the cheap night for films and I'm so sad about it.

Yeah, I love it too. But the theater in our neighborhood is one theater. It's not a multiplex. So if only one person shows up to the movie, I bet the employees are so mad. Yeah, of course, because like they have to run, they all have to do their stations. Yeah, they have to stand at the popcorn.

Do you think if they don't have a showing that they get to watch something they like? That they just get to put on like something fun there? I remember in grade 12, like the last few weeks of school and nothing mattered anymore, people would hang out in the auditorium and play Nintendo on the giant screen, on the projector. Nice. This feels like that's the advantage of being working at a theater, you know? Yeah, I like these old theaters and I like Fifth Ave because there's no kids. Oh, is that the rule? It's all 19 plus?

Yeah, yeah. So, but I love old theaters. I've loved them since I, like, since I was a kid. Doesn't make sense, but, um, one thing that happened to me that maybe is funny or something, I was at the Park Theater. And I was like, yeah, can I get a popcorn? And I'll get, like, that vitamin water. I don't know, it's Aki Berry or it's the purple one. And then the guy's like, yeah, can I get a popcorn and I'll get like that vitamin water? I don't know, it's Aki barrier.

It's the purple one. And then the guy's like, I'm sorry, I can't. And I'm like, no, I can see it right there. Like the purple, yeah, just right behind you in the cooler. He's like, I already counted it. Oh, like he's already on the inventory? Closing up, he's closing up.

He didn't want to sell it to me. Cause then I have to hit minus one. Yeah, I'm sorry. He's like, you can have a pop. I'm like, yeah, like I don't want to drink pop though. Yeah. And then he's like, yeah, sorry. Sorry.

I was like. I can give you a cup of water. I can give you some, I can get club soda out of the pop machine. I was like, all right, I guess I'll just take a spray. Like I was just like, what is going on here? I know you got to have that Aki berry. Yeah.

How do you say it? It's Aki as- I think it's a-sai-ee. A-sai-ee. A-sai-ee. Aki I say. I know, I'll blame ya. And I'll never change it.

There's no reason. No reason to, yeah. I mean, that kid wasn't gonna give it to your brother somebody you're gonna ask. Oh, maybe that's why he didn't know. He's like, sorry, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. We don't have that berry.

That's so funny. What about aca berry? I went to Gladiator Two there and the popcorn machine wasn't working and I was so mad. And it kept getting up every 10 minutes or it kept like people kept getting up every 10 minutes and I would see, I would check to see

if they were coming back with popcorn or not Does he because they said we will fix it during the movie? But they really just don't want to please you at this theater a they're just like hey if a customer wants something make sure to distract them Their specific needs yeah, I remember during the lockdown You could get popcorn delivered from the movie theater because the movies weren't playing. I think they still do.

They still do? Yeah. Yeah, you could get an Uber, right? Uber Eats can go pick up. It's very tempting to do, but I feel like at that point, that's so... I've only got something for... Considering how expensive it is in the movie theater plus the added delivery fee, considering it costs five cents to make.

And it's also, it's cold by the time it gets to you. It's not hot popcorn anymore, right? Yeah. That's what it feels with my- That's a good reminder for me, because I'm still tempted. Even if it's cold, even if it's cold? No, I wouldn't be tempted if it was cold. Right? Yeah.

But like, what is your guys' experience with like a door dash or an uber eats or? Skip the dishes like mine have all been the thing comes on. It's cold. Yeah most times so it's like I've only done it. I I've done it like three or four times and then I Mostly just I use the apps to order pickup and then I right because I hate calling places I know hey, and it's it feels feels weird I when I was in Winnipeg two weeks ago, and I was trying to order from Panago because they have like a gluten-free crust.

It's not the best, but it'll do. And I kept, it just kept blocking me. And then I read, I looked at the news story from a year ago that all the Panagos at Winnipeg had closed. But this was a news story, like last panego in the city. It's closing. Is it a country-wide crisis? Are we running out of panegos?

Winnipeg, it's- Sorry, your Reggie Corma is no longer at a phone call way or whatever. Yeah, they wouldn't have let me get on the phone. I called their fun number and- I'd just hang up immediately. Yeah. When I was a kid, we used to get,

it used to be called Panagopolis. Yes. And my sisters liked it. My brother and I liked whatever else. Domino's wasn't around yet, but- Pizza Hut? No. Some neighborhood thing, maybe, maybe, maybe.

Yeah. But my brother and I, we have trash taste. So why would we, especially in 1988, why would we want some neighborhood place? Yeah. But certainly wasn't pizza to to to to to to to to to to to to we could never remember the phone number. Uh, yeah. When's the last time you like ordered food over a phone? Oh, I do it all the time. wasn't pizza 222. 222, 222, 222. We could never remember the phone number. Yeah, when's the last time you like ordered food

over a phone? Oh, I do it all the time. Yeah, I do it all the time too. Yeah, whatever places don't have the app. Oh yeah, I guess that's true. I guess maybe I've called the pizza place or two. Just gotten so used to the online experience. So-and-so is putting your order in,

it's out for delivery. Oh, that's so fun. So fun. Do you ever get the Domino's tracker? Yeah. Do you use Domino's and then see the tracker? And then- What is it? I don't know if it's the same anymore because I usually call now,

but was it called Pizza Pete? Pizza Pete, just put your- well, now they tell you the name of the person that- Pizza Pete, put pizza on the feet. Is that right? They put, you could put the pizza in, like you could do things with like all the different, there's like pans you could shake and there's like. Oh, it's like a video, like a little video game?

Yeah, yeah. They say do I, I never had them. Pizza Pete is put in here, okay. Oh really? You guys are all looking at me blankly. Well, you do smoke a lot of pot. Can I Google Pizza Pete? Is that worth my time?

I think it was called Pizza Pete. Oh, no. And you could go shake the, there's like- All the Pizza Pete books in order. Pizza Pete and the perilous potions. That's such a kid's book name. Pizza Pete and the Peculiar Professor. All of them in order, books one through three. I didn't know he was a star.

I didn't know he was a... Because there was, well, on Domino's, you order it and then the app is like, we're preparing your order. It's in the oven. And then it comes out of the oven and it's like, Jeff is testing your pizza for freshness. Mm-hmm. It's passing through all your pizza for freshness.

It's passing through all these different tests. Yeah. Pizza Pete wasn't feeling well. Jeff had to come in. Well, we don't get Pizza Pete at Domino's. They don't name the person. They use their real name. I swear they used to have this.

It's like a cartoon and it's of Pizza Pete or whoever in the... Allegedly pizza piece. In the kitchen and you can like take the, like you can, there's a pile of boxes. You can go to the boxes and like, they'll like, if you hit them, they'll like all flip up and like come down in the stack and make the sound of boxes. Okay. And then... Okay, that sounds fun.

I'm trying to think of the other things on this. I think you can like get the pizza paddle. It's on your app, like on the phone, or is it on the website or? I feel like maybe this doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, and I'm feeling highly delusional now. But my ex and I, we used to love it. Okay, can we call your ex?

We used to love. You can't have him on the phone. I think he's in Costa Rica, so I actually don't think the time difference is that different, so we could call him. Yeah, we could call him. Hey, what's up? You remember Pizza Pete?

Who is this? And then he's like, why haven't you texted me back? Now I'm on a podcast? Yeah, what the hell? I actually didn't know we were broken up. You're not with Pizza Pete, are you? Yeah, what the hell? I actually didn't know we were broken up. Yeah. You're not with Pizza Pete, are you? This is how I find out I'm your ex?

He thought he was just traveling. He didn't know. She's just not answering my texts. Well, whatever. Maybe she's in a tunnel. This has been two and a half years. He's like, just so, yeah. Oh my God, so funny.

Yeah, I like that tracker. Now that I've experienced the tracker, I can't go back to just imagining where the pizza is in the process. Yeah, on the app, if you do see the car driving to your house. Yeah. Yeah, they added that probably, I think, since Uber and stuff.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, they didn't have that before. And then I'd be like used to Uber or, you know, DoorDash or whatever. And then I'd be like, when I'd order from Domino's, I'd be like, this is so frustrating. I don't know where the car is. Like, I was weirdly neurotic about it after.

It's so like, it's sometimes it's not a car, it's a scooter. Yeah. Or I see people with the bikes that have gloves built into the handlebars. Yeah, I actually don't. I've seen them and I never know what they are until they come close to me.

I've seen them a million times. I'm always like, what is going on with their hand? And the big mitt thing. Yeah. There was one time a guy got lost and I like kept calling him he was like, I don't know where your apartment is. And I was like, but like you, I'm talking to you with another thing that could tell you where my apartment is like you could just put in the number and it'll show you where to go. And then eventually he just left it outside didn't tell me that he had delivered it. And so I was sitting outside for 45 minutes.

Oh yeah, and like, I really hate to see, and this sounds so spoiled. I barely get stuff delivered, but when I get it, I need it, like I'm emotional or something, you know? You should put your own tracker on it. This is how I'm feeling right now. So I hate to see when the delivery person has the bag outside of a warming cooler. Yeah.

When I see a delivery person, I'm like, no, no, no, no. Put it back in the warming cooler. Get back in that car. So I can keep it warm and cool. Yeah. Drive your car to the front, drive it up the three stairs. Yeah. I don't like that. Have you ever had like a week or two where you've ordered more than one pizza in a week?

And then that's the same guy, hey buddy. Oh yeah, yeah, I have that. Cause I have Domino's near my house. And so when I order, it's a lot cheaper to just order from there. Do you like it when a business remembers you from the number of times you've been in or are you like, oh, this makes me feel bad?

I feel a lot of shame, yeah, I feel a lot of shame. The same dude, he's always like really cool, never making eye contact, because I think he vibes that people feel shame when he goes to a place like this. Don't worry, I won't even look at you in your eyes. Yeah, this is fine. I do order from the sushi place up the street sometimes, and like, there's a guy there who

just knows me. Yeah. He's like, your order's right over there. Like everyone else has to go, you know, I'm order number seven, five, six. Are you the same order every time? Yeah. Okay. So he knows it's you, even before you say who you are. He's like,

Dave, how's it going? And then they sort of switched up the staff, like they have someone else greeting and, uh, you're like, I don't like this. I'm going to, I would talk, I would like go up and ask her like, Hey, this is my order. And the guy, the chef working would be like, just talk to her and be like, Hey, his is that thing. Yeah. I know him. Don't worry, I got this covered. When I worked at a coffee shop, I used to know everybody's coffee orders. They would come in every day.

Yeah. That's not as pathetic as the pizza every day. No, it's not. You're right. Like pizza or if you go in like for a while, I was going to the same subway and the people at subway knew me and I was like, oh, this is bad. They should know who I am.

Or I should be going to different locations throughout the city. Yeah, I don't wanna be known at my local subway. The subway in the neighborhood is so decrepit. It's like the sign is all peeling off of the windows and it even has a sign that says we're under new management. I was like, come on, manage this. Yeah, like I just walked past the subway in this neighborhood here.

And it has that smell, you know? Yeah, that's a great smell. I don't like somebody should bottle that. And it like should be a perfume or like a broom. It's so divisive. Some people hate it. I like it. It's nostalgic. I love it too.

And I love it so much. and I've talked about this, how the sandwiches are so disappointing because They don't taste like the smell. They don't taste like the smell. What's your Subway order? Now that you're, I mean, you're gluten-free now. When I was able to eat gluten. Just the veggie.

Get the veggie, but add pizza sauce to it. So veggie get the veggie but add pizza sauce to it. Oh, veggie with cheese and then put pizza sauce and then throw that in the oven. That was good. I throw it in the oven. Yeah. Well, the veggies. Oh no, I guess I would put the cheese and the pizza sauce into the oven. When you say veggie, you just mean the fresh veggies,

not the like little patty. Little patty. I loved it for a while, and then I had it one time, I was like, this is disgusting, and I never had it again. It looks like a McNugget where they took the breading off. Yeah, and it also tastes like some sort of cheap brand soup from when you were a kid. Yeah, that was my, what was your order at Subway? Oh, well, I'm usually was your order subway. Oh Well, I'm

usually ordering Classic order for me throughout my life is veggie and cheese easy. Yeah easy easy. Yeah, either on a whole wheat or The cheese bread. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't really I When they switch bread that you should just be brown and white. Yeah, and when they got more switched breads, they used to just be brown and white. Yeah. And when they got more complicated breads, I've never. You've never even dipped? I've dipped, but just give me the white. Yeah.

Give me the white, give me the yoga mat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, oh man. Their gluten-free option is awful. That's one of the worst. Yeah, like that's so hard, the gluten-free thing, because I don't even really eat a lot of bread and pasta and stuff. Um, cause my mom was celiac and my, my sister is, so I, uh, just avoid it.

Cause it's like genetically not good for people in my family. So, but there's something about a white wonder bread type sandwich That like tuna sandwich or like, yeah. Yeah, I think like mainly tuna or some kind of like veggie sandwich. But on that fluffy bad for you. Yeah. White delicious bread. I have these cravings still. I barely like to eat them, but yeah.

Yeah. I have these cravings all the time. I ate so much bread in my life. Looking back, I think I ate it every single day, sometimes twice a day. But you should try the gluten-free Domino's. It's really good. I eat a lot.

That's how I know all about the tracker. Oh, okay. I thought you were saying you get your gluten-free from somewhere else. Oh, I also got it from Panago. Those are my one and two. Sometimes I'll go with a local place if I'm somewhere, but I don't know, man.

There's a place in Vancouver that's really good. I order from there, but it's like, ordering a delivery pizza is expensive too. Yeah. And then when it's gluten-free, it's way more expensive. And I usually order four or five, and they're like, oh, is this for a birthday party?

I'm like, no. You play party tones in the background. You're having a Gary glitter themed kids party for some reason. Wait, I don't get Gary glitter bash. Yeah. What's your go to? Quiznos. Yeah. Oh, quiznos. Yeah. Oh, quiznos. No, I will get a, the veggie one is, is the like, I, because I only ever want Subway if I'm. Just want to feel like trash.

Well, yeah. And I do, but I don't want to feel like too much trash. So at least I get a big thing of lettuce. Yeah. Lettuce, olives, pickles. Perfect. That's all I need. Yeah. Tomatoes. I'm a pickles. Perfect. That's all I need.

Yeah. Tomatoes. I'm a tomato head. Do you guys like tomatoes? I love tomatoes. I love tomatoes, too. Because growing up, I would see on TV, oh, kids hate broccoli. Yeah.

But all you carrots and tomatoes, I loved broccoli. I love broccoli, too. And it wasn't in George Bush or something. This was like, you hated broccoli. But then, but as I sure. They're broccoli then but as I've But tomatoes were never like disgusting No, like no one said tomatoes were discussing but now that I as an adult I know so many adults who like

Get that tomato off my sandwich. I'm not a huge fan of like Like a hot no, I don't want a hot tomato. But like, you know, like you would get on like, like a wilted tomato, you know? I certainly don't like the roasted tomatoes. You get it in a full English. No, yeah, no. But just-

Like a cold sliced. When's the last time either of you had like a really good tomato? Because I feel like I haven't had like one that tasted like a tomato. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, sometimes they don't taste like tomatoes. Especially, oh, this is a problem too,

when you're like buying everything Canadian. Yeah. It's like, I'm gonna get scurvy. Like, I can't buy everything Canadian and still get all my vitamins. That's true. I can only eat so many apples in a day. Yeah, so I'm just buying a lot.

I'm eating a lot of apples for sure. Yeah, but yeah, this produce thing is very difficult for the buying Canadian situation. Also my coffee stinks. You buy Canadian coffee? I buy that expensive coffee that a cat has pooped out, but it's just some cat from down the street. They got to chase the cat around to get it. You get over here mittens.

I was talking to my local baristas at the paper crane. It's a good indie coffee shop I go to and they were talking about this fancy poop coffee. And I'm like, this cafe is gonna be in Vancouver any minute and- Oh, it's been around. It's already happening? Oh, it's, like I've heard about it for 20 years. But is there a cafe specific to animal pooped coffee?

No, the sad thing about it is, like someone must have discovered that these, know These jungle cats are eating coffee beans pooping them out. We wash all the poop off roast them Oh, the coffee is you know, good. I guess yeah. Yeah, and then so what they do now is they like farm the the cats and Force feed them. Oh, yeah That's I don't know if they force feed them, but they... Yeah, but they can't go around looking for truffle mushrooms. Yeah, exactly. And they also have no privacy.

They got to poo in front of everybody, which is... Yeah. Hard. That's a difficult situation. The thing about fancy coffee is they'll be like, do you want to pour over or something like that? And then when I have it, I'm like, this is gross. I just want like trashy coffee out of a...

Oh man, just give me some of that, that hot brown. Give me some of that Java juice. Oh yeah. Ooh, I gotta have sweet mama caffeine, pour it into my veins. Ooh, no coffee, no worky, okay. You're like a jazz guy when you're like, trying to get your coffee.

But I'm also a little bit like a t-shirt, you get it, from Spencer Gimp. Yo, oh, don't talk to me before I've had my coffee. I said my two. But yeah, I just wet trash coffee when I get coffee. I do like a drip. Yeah. Yeah, but also it's less expensive than a latte and that's uh, that's my

Kryptonite. Mmm. Yeah, like a soy or coconut latte Yeah, she died Soy latte, mmm, is that a Spanish person who's a latte? Nice. I get it. I remember when I was working at a coffee shop, this is like 25 years ago. Hey guys, you want to hear mine? I'm in bed. In bed. I'm pretty vanilla soy latte.

Vanilla soy latte is technically a three beans soup. Have you guys ever heard to you that that's a thing? And Graham, go ahead. There was just such a backlash over saying the Italian sizes of things. Mm-hmm. Molto bene. Yeah, give me a molto bene, give me a ravioli. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you got a chef bour, and what do you want? I got a baguille. The people didn't want to say the grande venti. Yeah, and then when you don't, when you're like the biggest one or whatever, then they're like mad at you. Yeah. They're like not, they're doing the Domino's delivery guy. They're not looking at you in your eyes.

Yeah. Also the venti is so huge drinking that much milk if you have a latte like that big, a lot of milk. Well, my problem is, I know they have the sizes that have their own names, but I don't go to Starbucks. And so I'll go like once a year and I need a refresher of what,

like I'm not being that bitchy guy Who's like what do you call the medium? I'm just like, what do you call the medium? I'm like that too, but it's more I go there probably more frequently than you but I'm so stoner then I'm like I don't know the big one. Come on, please a skibidoo needs some caffeine-a-root. Come on, please, please. A skibidoo bath.

Dave, let's go over to you, my friend. Oh, you guys. Well, okay. So every week on the show, we gotta do this. We take a picture of our guest, and I'll do, of us with the guest, we'll take your picture in a bit. Yeah. I was like alone. Yeah. I saw the other one you guys are all together. This is a lot of pressure.

Up against the wall roughly what your height is the first thing that we get you on the side. This past week I forgot with Brent Constantine. Yeah. And as I was I had to listeners might remember last week's episode like the last minutes, we were on the clock. Yeah, we were on the clock. We had to go pick up kids from school. And as I was leaving the house, I was like, oh, we forgot to get our picture. And so I drove and I saw you and Brent walking

and I parked the car and I got out and I quickly took a picture and I felt crazy. I was like- Oh, it's so exciting. I love that feeling of trying to get something impossible done. But like I'm in traffic and I quickly took a picture and I felt crazy. I was like. Oh, that's so exciting. I love that feeling of trying to get something impossible done. But like I'm in traffic and I'm like, gotta pull the car over. I'm like making a turn. I want to make sure I don't kill anyone.

I parked semi-legally like, cause I'm just gonna jump in the car for 30 seconds. And then I get back, I go back to my car and it's like a busy street. And I totally forgot like the sensible thing to do would be to go around the front of my car so I can face traffic and see cars coming. Right. And I'm just like, I have my back to traffic. I'm getting in my car. I was like, that was so dangerous. So dangerous. Did it look dangerous to you? It did look as dangerous as, as you described because you were because you were out of the car and back in

the car so fast. I didn't even have time to contemplate. Yeah. I feel like because you're a father, you probably think it was so dangerous, but it was like really mild actually because you're just probably constantly thinking about being safe and stuff. Yeah, that's true. More so than- You guys are so childless and you're so like danger.

Everything you do is dangerous. Everything I do is dangerous. Graham and I don't even check before we cross the street. We just go. We just exactly winders. Yeah, I'm trying to think of the last time I did something where I was like, well, that was dangerous. You shouldn't have done that.

I didn't realize so later. I mean, every time I drive the car, I put my life in my hands, man. Yeah, that's true. But like if you like something where you're like fuck I really shouldn't have done that but you got away with it like it Like your story where nothing nothing bad ended up happening. You're like god damn it. That was so dangerous. I remember years ago crossing in front of a truck Or like an SUV they kept moving towards me, like it was a stop sign and I was crossing, it kept moving towards me.

So I gave the guy the finger and then him and like four people piled out of this SUV and I was like, oh shit, you don't give us the finger. Yeah, we're gonna, but it was like, it was like still like four in the afternoon, so there were people everywhere. Yeah. So I think that's why they got back in,

but I was like, whew. Were you on foot? That was dangerous, I was on foot. Oh they got back in, but I was like, whoo, that was dangerous. I was on foot. Yeah. Like I shouldn't have done that, holy crap. I rented a car in Ontario that one of the last times I was touring there and I just got too comfortable driving on the highway

and I pulled in front of a like big rig, like pretty quickly and pretty like abruptly for that truck. And what I will say is like, I, I was really stressed out. I can't remember what was going on with me, but I was extremely stressed out. Was this two and a half years ago, was your

boyfriend breaking up with you? Hey, wait a second. Um, and, um, I pulled in front of him and I just, I'm so thankful. I, I'm sure he's listening right now and I just wanna thank you. He honked, but he just knew how to drive so well that I wish I should have been toast.

I should have been toast. We love truckers, we support their convoy. And he would say 10-4 good buddy to you now that you've been a man. He would? Yeah, a little lady. That's nice of you to say, but I'm sure that's not true. But I think it was super, you know, when you just kind of get complacent when you're driving,

you know, and these kind of spooky things, like, got to snap you back into being like, yeah, I could kill myself or someone else driving. And if you had it where you're driving so fast and then you go into a town and you're like, I'm still driving as fast as on the highway. They call that, when I did driving school, I remember they called it highway inertia. Where you just like, you just have to like, you're so conditioned to going.

Yeah, yeah. So scary, oh boy. But you guys may find this funny. In that same vehicle, that same tour, I was driving to Toronto airport from a city I'm not used to driving from, and I couldn't figure out where to put the rental, and I literally lapped the Toronto airport

like six times at like 6.30 a.m. in the morning, and I was just bawling my eyes out the whole time. And I was just like yelling like, I don't know where to put it, like where? And like yelling like, I don't know where to put it. Like where? And I was like, I don't know what to do. I'm going to miss my flight. Like I was just like crying the whole time doing donuts like around the. Okay. It's not as funny as it.

But did you, did you find it or did you just abandon it? Yeah. I, I don't know. Returning a rental car at the airport is always like, there's always a line of people returning them and you just kind of like, do I walk away? Yeah, do I just hand the keys to them? You forget how big I think certain airports are. Like I had a like stress stream last night that I was in Mexico and I was trying to get somewhere and I was in Mexico City.

Yeah, it's the biggest city in the world when I was a kid. It's huge. I think it's the biggest city anymore. Yeah, I think it still City. And I don't know. Biggest city in the world when I was a kid. It's huge. I think it's the biggest city anymore. Yeah, I think it still is. Okay, all right. Yeah, so I had this stress dream of, yeah, not being able to get somewhere. And you know when it's just never solved in the dream,

it's just like, you're just in this energy and whatever. I hate those dreams. Yeah, yeah. Now we just wanna look at the biggest cities in the world. Do we think, cause I remember when- Is this biggest city by area or biggest city by population? I think you gotta go population. Is it like Bangladesh or something like that?

Bangladesh isn't a city, but- Oh, sorry. I just remember when I had SimCity, the game, when I was a kid, it came with like this card of like the highest scoring cities and Mexico City was number one. And I was a kid, it came with this card of the highest scoring cities and Mexico City was number one. And I was like, well, what's this? Yeah, what's this ranking?

Yeah. The biggest pizza chain in Canada. It's gotta be Domino's. Biggest cities in the world. I think that it's gonna be these new Chinese cities that just cropped up overnight. Oh yeah, sure. When I was flying out of Mexico City,

there was like a lineup of planes, a lineup of planes. Like I could see when we're supposed to have already taken off like 20 minutes earlier, that I was in this insane lineup of planes for the tarmac. So do they like, they don't leave anywhere near on time? Or this is what they just have to do? What's happening, I guess, sometimes. Yeah.

So do we want to do population by city proper, urban area or metropolitan area? City proper, let's say. All right. City proper, the most populous city is Chong, Chongqing, China. Chongqing, China. The top six are all Chinese cities. Okay. And then what's the first not Chinese city is? Kinshasa.

Kinshasa, okay. Where is Kinshasa? It's in the Congo. Okay. And then Delhi, Karachi, and rounding out your top 10, there's Istanbul. Istanbul, okay. And then the urban area,

I think they're saying number one is Tokyo. Have you ever been to Tokyo either, you guys? No, I would love to. With 37 million. No, wait, yeah, 37 million. 37 million people in a city. Well, it's in the urban area. Yeah, oh, true. Yeah, yeah, it's expanded.

Oh, I'd love to go to Tokyo. Oh, yeah, that'd be so cool. Yeah, I wanna order things out of that. I wanna get vending machines. I wanna sleep in a pod. I want Bill Murray to whisper something in my ear. I want the whole world to hear that. I want the whole world to hear that.

I want the whole world to hear that. I want the whole world to hear that. I want the whole world to hear that. I want to order things out of that. I want to get vending machines. I want to sleep in a pod. I want Bill Murray to whisper something in my ear. I want the full package. That's the end of the movie? We offer the Bill Murray treatment. You go to karaoke with Scarlett Johansson. You kind of mope around a hotel for a while. I liked that movie. I liked that movie too. But I'm not sure why. Like on paper, it does sound pretty stupid. William Oberon in a hotel, Bill Murray whispers in your ear. Yeah. You've seen-

Loss in Translation. That's what it's called. Yeah. It's really good. It's good. It's funny. Somebody was pointing out how if you grew up kind of in the 90s-ish, that the idea of selling out was a different thing than what it is now.

And that the guy said, that's what it is now. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out.

And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like, oh, I'm going to sell out. And then you're like,ish, that the idea of selling out was a different thing than what it is now, and that the guy said, that's the thing in the movie, that's why Bill Murray's character is in Japan, is he's making ads that you won't see in North America. You don't know that he sold out. I was like, oh yeah,

that's because they did used to have that, right? Yeah. If you traveled through did used to have that, right? Yeah, like they would, you know, you would go to you. If you traveled through an airport in another country, you'd be like, huh, Antonio Banderas is doing ads for coffee. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's just like it's just so different now. But I was like, oh, yeah, that is the way it was for a long time. I remember like it was a big thing that like if bands sold out, if they had like,

I don't know if that meant though. What is it? If they had like a song of theirs in a commercial. Yeah, that's basically it. And then I heard someone say like 15 years ago, yeah, I think when people stopped, like everyone agreed we don't have to pay for music anymore, it became okay to see. Yeah, yeah. Also, there was, I feel like there was a time when bands were calling out each other on how much their tickets cost at concerts and that doesn't happen anymore because it's like

every ticket, $100 or more. And everything goes through Ticketmaster and even the reselling it is through Ticketmaster and so you never know what the real price was a month ago. It was Billy Joel's playing some. Oh yeah, we should go. We should go. So the front row tickets, 1600 bucks. Wow.

Are you serious? That's not even that crazy though. It's not crazy, but still it's pretty crazy. For front row tickets to Billy Joel, the Uptown Girl himself. Yeah, that's right. Yes. Madonna's the material girl and Billy Joel is the Uptown Girl.

Oh, I would love that. It's so tricky with the venues now with the bands and even comedy. I don't really like to watch anything in like an arena. Oh yeah. Why can't this hockey game happen in a small club? Yeah, it's just like I've seen really good, really amazing standups and arenas and I hated it so much so that I really just don't do it now.

I've never done it. And same with musicians, especially like, you know, I barely go spend my money on something like that. So when I like want to do it, I want to go like, you know, what to Deer Lake Park or whatever. Yeah. That is and watch Beck or whatever. Like I'm not or the national I saw them. Yeah, Deer Lake Park is the greatest place to see a concert and the worst place to park.

Yeah. Oh yeah, that's why you don't. You gotta walk so far. You just hitchhike there, yeah. Who did I see there? I saw The Cure, I saw Bjork there. Oh my God, I love Bjork. And I saw Keegan and Sarah and Spoon.

Nice, yeah. Wow. I don't think I've ever seen a concert like this. I saw Keegan and Sarah and Spoon. Nice. Wow. I don't think I've ever seen a concert. Quite a repertoire. Well, there's a little festival there, yeah. The other thing going on with me is this past weekend, it was, well, it was like two or three weeks of planning, but I painted one of my daughter's rooms. Oh, okay.

So she wanted her room repainted and it had been, I mean, we've been in this house for seven years and there have been posters up and down and holes in the wall. And so we, I haven't painted anything in like 20 years. Yeah, it's been a while since I painted. And I was not prepared for the physical toll. Yeah. Oh. And I was putting it off for so long

because it's like the kind of thing that you can't just like do a bit at a time. You have to like, all right, we're gonna clear out your room. Gotta put plastic on everything. Plastic on everything. You were gonna paint it and then paint it again and then paint it again.

You can't just like quit in the middle and be like, I'll revisit this in a few weeks. And it's also like, there's muscles that you never use. Yeah. Getting up high, this muscle. Yeah, all your back muscles and shoulder muscles. I felt like I did a Tough Mudder. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. I remember I used to, for a very brief time, paint houses for a living. And it was always that. That was the doom. Like you wanted to be down low. You wanted to be down low or you wanted to be kind of using a roller, but like getting up and doing that detail. Oof, oof.

The worst. That's something I do enjoy watching online is the very precise brush drag on the edges. On the corner. Oh my gosh, I love watching that kind of stuff. I also love watching power washing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Power washing is pretty good.

I like so much so that I'm like, should I get a job in this? I do like that kind of, yeah, I get those in my algo as well. Yeah. But the edges, I see those videos as well. And you see someone with a slanted brush. Yes. And they just like, they... Oh man, it's so subtle.

And I was like, okay, I'll do that. Nope, no, I need tape. I gotta tape it. And I was like, it feels very stupid to be like, Google, how do you paint a room? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go ceiling and then wall, okay. I always think about the Mr. Bean thing

where he like wraps everything, everything like each individual grape in his room wall and just to like blow up. Oh, doesn't he explode a... Explodes a can of paint. Now I made the mistake of painting myself into a corner. Oh shit, I was about to get out. I just had to wait till it dried.

I just had to wait. There's a shape of you now, like in the corner. That's as far as we're gonna go painting-wise. Yeah, so it was like, so many visits to the paint store as well. Cause first we had to go check out colors. Okay. Yeah.

What color are we looking at? Yeah, what color? White. Just classic white. Classic white. What was there before? White. So it's just a refresher.

Can I just clarify, your child chose white. My child chose white. My child is 10 now and they're over pink. Pink is over. Yeah, now we like clean lines. Yeah, but like. Dad, I want. Your child's a minimalist.

I went to an Apple store and I wanted to look like that. I wanted to look like that. My other child was like, cause they both had one pink wall in their rooms. And then my older child was like, let's go all white. My younger child was like, I have some ideas. I want two different colored walls. And then she changed her mind and I was like, good,

I don't wanna paint your room right now anyway. I have, when I was growing up, I had a friend whose younger brother had a mural on his wall that his parents did from a stencil. Wow. I was like, wow. It was a medium-aged thing. It might have been Ninja Turtle if I'm thinking correctly,

but it was cool. I remember it being cool and the fact thinking my parents, I had Blue Room. Blue Room was what was on offer. Blue Room was what stayed there until I moved out of that room. Oh. Yeah. You were like, have you painted a house ever?

Uh. Or painted a room rather? Yeah, I have like my walls painted as a medicine against depression. I put color in the apartment. And yeah, I think it's better that way. But white is a good color for a bedroom. Yeah.

I have my bedroom still just white. I think it's like, you want your bedroom to be really calm. I've been like really working on that. But when I was a kid, this was one way my mom was really good, otherwise. This is in the pro column. She let me paint my walls. Nice.

Like whatever, like I had like cartoons painted on the walls and then I changed it to like these hippie swirls, like yeah, this vortex. And I, my, I'm, we moved into our house that I like, I made whatever. We moved when I was 11 and it was like 1990. I guess I was 10, it was 91. And-

Nevermind. And it totally, I don't want to talk about it. But it was just like that thing of like, all right, it's the nineties. Every kid on TV has like posters in like different arrays, like nothing's straight. We gotta have, it's gotta be crooked on the wall. Yeah, it's a-

You put stuff on the ceiling. I had a real, cause like, I feel like I had a lot of Muppet posters up when I was younger. But then there was a point where it was like, I guess I'm gonna put up a band poster now, like I put childish muppets away. But muppets have a band. Yeah, that's true. I mean,

they're always cool, the muppets. Did you collect the muppet babies from McDonald's? I most definitely did. I did too. I loved them. Which was your favorite. They were so cute. Ms. Piggy obviously. Ms. Piggy.

Well, in the baby form, I thought Ms. Piggy was the cutest. She was cute, but she was no animal wearing a bonnet. Yeah. But I think actually Beaker may be bigger. Do they also have the Fraggle Rock, like they were riding a, driving a turnip or something? Yes, yeah, they were in vegetables.

Oh yeah, Fraggle Rock. And then you just see me go into disassociation. Oh, we've lost effort completely. Anyway, yeah, painting the room. I literally went to the paint store five times, I think, once to get the colors, to choose the colors. Then I went back and I was like, well, we're going to have to patch walls, patch holes first. So I got some of the patches up and talked to the guy and he was like, well, actually our paints on sale. So this weekend it's two for one paint.

And so I was like, okay, I'll talk to my wife. Went home and I was like, we got to get the paint this weekend. What's our paint budget? Let's go over the paint budget again. And then they were very helpful at the store. You like, you tell them how big the room is and they tell you how much paint you need. Yeah. And he was like, okay, so you're gonna get a bucket

of this, a bucket of this, but it's a two for one deal. So this third bucket, it's not part of the sale, but I can give you our corporate discount. Nice. Oh, that's nice. They would help me out at Dulux Paint. I just wanna know the name of the white. Paint always has cool names. Oh, let me find it for you. Oh, I just want to know the name of the way they paint always has cool names.

Let me find it for you. Oh, I really put a no, I was just going to say, did you get to see the paint get shaken up? They feel like no, I was, I was, I moved my with Wade though. What's that with way? I don't know if it's as exciting. No, but I just want to see that machine. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't see it because I had to move my car. Well, I was like, I'll move my car. You were parked in another precarious situation.

You had to park in the middle of an intersection. Well, he was like, um, he, he, I, uh, I like made all the paint, like ordered it all and like talked to him at the counters. I'll get this, this and this. I'm just going to get my car. And then he didn't do anything because he was like, this guy's not coming back. Yeah. Oh, that's right. I'm going to go get my car means this is too expensive. Goodbye. So the answer is moonlit snow. Moonlit snow.

That sounds really nice. And in French, It's really great. Neige au clair de l'une. Oh, that's good. no, that sounds really nice. And in French. It's really great. Neige au clair de l'Utme. That's good. Whoa, that accent. And the colors on my other daughter's wall that she wants, but she changed her mind, she'll change her mind back.

Our stratosphere, a very light blue, and lavender vista. Ooh. Ooh. That's nice. Lav lavender anything sounds really I love the names anyway yeah it's got to be you know I bet they're I bet I just use AI to name them now they're probably fired the guy who names all the paint yeah and who's gonna be left you know there still has to be a guy who tells you what paints they have yeah and those guys were great.

All the guys at the store, I salute you. We just find out Dave has like a paint inhalation addiction. Yeah. I'm painting my daughter's room again. I got to get back to, I got to see him at the paint store. And your wife's like, we don't need anything. It did smell quite a bit for a couple days. Yeah. Yeah. When you do the bit for a couple days. Yeah, yeah.

When you do the first stir of the paint. Yeah. Cause like all the, I don't know, it's like almost like a jelly kind of. It's like the first swirl of a gilgur. I did see a guy, there was in my algorithm, a guy swirling paint in a bucket and it's like the two parts of it come together,

and it was just making this very satisfying spiral. Hubba hubba. Graham, what's going on with you? So last week I went to Winnipeg, Manitoba. I was there for the- Oh, the home of Panago Pizza. Exactly, well, not anymore, apparently. I was there for the Win Oh, the home of Panago Pizza. Yeah, exactly. Well, not anymore, apparently. Oh, okay.

I was there for the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. And so this happens at festivals a lot where you stay up too late and then you don't really wanna go out the next morning to find food or anything just cause it's like, oh man, I gotta get dressed and go and find a place. And so I just like, I got stuck in a cycle basically, because any of the food at any of the after parties I couldn't have.

And then when I wake up in the morning, it was too late in the day to go to the popular brunch place because everybody would have been lining up. So I got the first day. And Winnipeg is like, I'm checking this chart. The biggest city in the world. The second biggest city in the world. You think they would be able to hold up the panegos, but.

Tokyo, Winnipeg, Jakarta. They're the home, apparently, of Skip the Dishes. That's where Skip the Dishes started, and they only want to be called Skip. Yeah. They're really going through a teenage phase. It's just called me Skip. Let's get the dishes anymore. But I, yes, it was like, okay, I'll get a pizza on

the first night. No panago impossible to find Domino's. Okay, Domino's, get the pizza. You were sitting on this story earlier. Like, I'm not, I'm gonna tease it. But then when breakfast came around, room service. Yeah, room service. Oh, it's so nice. The only thing that's not nice about it is they stand there while you write in a tip.

Yeah, I don't know math. You know, percentages, like I don't know what, 20% of 13, whatever. Not that it was that cheap, it was way more expensive than that. And it's just like, I just got oatmeal and it was so good. It was so good. And then that night, same thing, went, saw some shows late. And there was after party, couldn't eat anything, got back to my room. Room service?

Back to Domino's we go. Oh. The second round of Domino's, wake up in the morning, kind of hung over, getting that porridge again, brought up to the room. This time two bowls. Oh, my eyes were big. You had two bowls of porridge? I tried. They're just so good. Porridge is so good, but two bowls is too much. You should have got three bowls.

Oh, and like let them cool off. Yeah, done a little Goldilocks thing. so when you order a pizza in a hotel, you meet them in the lobby? It's the worst. It's the worst because it's not that I don't, I don't mind going down to the lobby. I just don't want anybody to see me getting Domino's at one in the morning. No. And if you're at a festival, there's always somebody you know in the lobby. Oh yeah.

So it's like, is it somebody who could keep a secret? Yeah, you're very secretive about your late night dominoes. But then I was just stuck in this dominoes room service back and forth. It's kind of comforting though when you keep doing the same, when you're on the road and you keep kind of doing the same thing, even if it's not great. Yeah, it's comforting. For you or whatever. It's comforting.

Comforting, yeah. But also, you're just signing a thing, right? Then they say, okay, just sign it to your room. And then when I looked at my credit card, I was like, holy fuck! Oh, yeah. That's so much OBL class, holy shit! Do you, does your phone ever notice your habits

and suggest something? Yeah. Cause like I was going through a thing where my daughter wanted a hash brown for breakfast every morning. And I would set a 13 minute timer and then I'd flip it. And it would, you cook it for 13 minutes on one side and 13 minutes on the other side. And my phone at like 7.30 in the morning

would start suggesting, do you want to set a 13 minute timer and I wonder if your phone at like 1am is like is it time to call Domino's? So here's the thing third night in same problem obviously getting the Domino's in my head gonna have the rest of it for breakfast I'm not gonna finish this I'm gonna have a rest for breakfast. Had you finished the first two? Yes but the third one I was like I'm to save some so they don't have to get oatmeal again brought up to the room.

$900 oatmeal. MC $900 oatmeal. And I never, and I never, I felt like such an amateur hour. I never ever leave my room without a do not disturb thing. Me too. Cleaning person came in, threw my pizza away. No. Oh my gosh. That wasn't your pizza.

Yeah, that wasn't your pizza to throw away, but it did look like garbage in fairness, but I did not. It looks like garbage the moment it arrived. Yeah, they threw it away down their throat. Yeah. And I was like, I just said, I just had to let it go. I'm like, you're not getting another Domino's pizza. Was this at night or in the morning? This was in the morning. Yeah. They don't clean rooms at night. But so you, but your pizza was out? Yeah, it was, I mean, it was in a box. Oh, okay. What was the pizza wearing? Did you refrigerate it overnight? Yeah, I had it refrigerated and I box. Oh, okay. What was the pizza wearing? Did you refrigerate it overnight?

Yeah, I had it refrigerated and I brought it out to like thought of it a little bit. No, like super cold pizza. Yeah. And then I left and worked a bit and then I came back. It was gone, so. Oh man, I hate that. Especially when you think food is waiting for you.

Oh, that's the worst. Yeah. I know, and I literally, like, I was like a cartoon. I was like, huh, huh, huh, like looked underneath the bed like, oh, maybe it just got misplaced somewhere. I had that last week where I was like, I had, we had leftover pizza and I was like,

I'll have a piece in the morning just, and then I ate it and we also had some cheesy bread and I had a couple of pieces of that as well. And I went and walked the dogs and I was like, huh, that pizza didn't really fill me up. Well, I got a little bit of cheesy bread back at home for when I get back. It was gone when I got home.

Yeah, no, when you have your heart set on a particular thing and. Yeah, I don't really know now about being in a couple in the future. I know. For this reason in itself. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Like you gotta start leaving notes. This is for daddy. I now leave a, so when I make my, when I feed my sourdough, I put it, I turn the oven on for one minute and then turn it off. And then I keep my, so it's just like a little bit warm

in there and I put my sourdough starter in the oven. So it's just like a warm room for it. But I now have to leave a note on the oven thing. Do not eat starter. Or do not turn on oven. Yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. But yeah, so that was my saga of, like I say,

when I got the bill for this room service, I was like, oh, you know, certainly shouldn't have ordered two bowls of oatmeal. That was insane. You had the bill the day before as well, and you signed a tip. Oh yeah, like that's all I looked at was gratuity, and then I was like-

And then after you were like, I left them that much? Yeah, that was the other thing. When like, and then after you're like, I left them that much. Yeah, that was the other thing when he saw the bill. You're like, Oh, this also includes the crazy tip that I gave them because they're standing right there. It's not like in a restaurant where they give you the thing and you can pick and you feel like a big spender because you're in your robe. And I did, I ordered the thing. I was wearing a robe when they brought it in. Just put it over there, I said. Everything's got, what are they called? Cloches? Cloches, everything's got cloches.

Yeah, what's that? You know, like the silver dome. You guys are just both in the same hand thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like the fancy. Ta-da. And you're like, this is oatmeal. Like Home Alone. Yes, like Home Alone, exactly.

Cloches. So, you know. Like Home Alone 2? Boston, New York? New York, yeah. I never saw it. Did you not? No. Donald Trump's in it.

Oh, okay, I'll watch it now. It's, I was surprised. I liked it a lot when it came out. I guess I felt like I was too old for it. Yeah. Home Alone 1, right in my wheelhouse. I hated it when I was a kid, because I was like, this stupid kid. I'm a kid. Yeah. Why does he get to do all of it?

Yeah. I'm not going to watch some kid. And then years later, I love it. You know, watch it every year. But, and, and I think it's hilarious that Piers Morgan, every year on Christmas, they post pictures of him and the pigeon lady. It's a, it's a yearly tradition that I enjoy very much. Yeah. So my message is Domino's is always there waiting for you. Be careful though with that hotel food. Yeah. Put the do not disturb on.

What? Yeah, leave a note on your pizza if you're gonna get the room made up. Oh man. Yeah. What kind of world do we live in? Pfft, awful, that's what. Awful is the answer. Yeah. Do you guys wanna move on to some over herds?

Doot doot. Hi, is this Sam? Yes it is. I'm Brenda, host of Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries on Maximum Fun, and I'm calling because you've been named Maximum Fun's member of the Month for May. Wow, I'm really excited to hear that. I love being a member, I like all the vocow,

and I just, I enjoy all the shows that I listen to. I just, I love Maximum Fund. As our Member of the Month, you'll be getting a $25 gift card to the Maximum Fund store, a special Member of the Month bumper sticker, a special priority parking spot at Maximum Fun HQ in Los Angeles, California, just for you.

I can't wait to see what the bumper sticker looks like. Oh yeah, I am obsessed with bumper stickers. What's your message to people thinking about joining Maximum Fun? I mean, if you really like the shows, I think it's like a really good way to help support them. I'm really happy I'm able to. Thank you so much able to. Thank you

so much for listening. Thank you for making your show. Become a Maximum Member now at MaximumFun.org slash join. It's hard to explain what happens on Jordan Jesse Go. So I had my kids do it. Saying swear words. Saying swear words. Yeah. Bad jokes. Bad jokes? Bad jokes. Maybe it's like you tell people that you're going to interview them and then you just stay there like, like really quiet and try and creep them out. It's just really boring. Because of Jordan, right? Not me.

Because of both of you. Oh. Subscribe to Jordan Jesse Goh. A comedy show for grownups. Overheard. Overheard is a segment where we hear things, you hear things, we all hear things. We like to tell everybody about it and we always like to start with our guest. Amber, do you have

it overheard? Yes, I do. I was in Mount Pleasant Public Library. It's a good one. And I was at the catalog computer. And I'm not a natural eavesdropper, but I heard two kids speaking. Yeah. And one of the kids said to the other one, yeah, my dad doesn't shower. Actually, he never showers. You started calling child services. I was like, oh, I think my dad's depressed. Yeah. But I was just like, this is so funny.

Yeah, my dad never showers. Maybe it's just a bath guy. Maybe he never takes a shower because he's always taking a bath. Yeah, I'm hoping. No, I'm hoping he's somehow bathing himself. Like even if it's just with the washcloth standing up, you know.

Yeah, what's everyday shower? You mean everyday showers? What's it called? Yeah, when you kind of wash and then put a lot of perfume on. It's like- I mean, there's nothing, there's a bunch of names for these kinds of washings and they're all pejorative. Yes, that's true.

They are all awful. Guys, I just want you to know, I did a full shower for this. Oh, really? I shaved my legs. I did a full shower. I shaved my legs for this. Yeah, full, well, those painting days, my whole life, shower first thing in the morning.

Well, I forgot to ask you the painting thing. You get some cool drops on there, your jeans that you're wearing. Well, I wore shorts and my Mount Pleasant, or Little Mountain Gallery shirt, yeah. I thought you were gonna say Mount Pleasant Public Library shirt. Yeah.

Yeah. So I, but I, I'm very paranoid about like tracking, like I wore socks the whole time. Mm-hmm. And in case I dripped anything on my feet, I could just take off my socks and walk to the rest of the house. Yeah. And like all my paint covered feet, I could just take off my socks and walk to the rest of the house.

And like all my paint covered clothes, I like put them inside out. Okay. I was very paranoid about that. But yeah, I wore shorts. Yeah. But I felt like I was saying something. You were saying something and it was.

Shorts, you were painting, you were painting when you were painting. And I was painting. You didn't want to get the drops in the house. When you dropped the painting. Your feet. And you were. Before that.

Showering. Showering. We got there. All right. Oh, the listeners must have hated that. I shower every morning, first thing, but on those paint days. And sometimes you get a day where you're like, well, I'm going to get dirty. Yeah.

But so I'll shower after that. And then the paint day, I'm like, I was painting all day, but I did shower at like four in the afternoon and then I had to paint again at eight at night. Yeah, yeah. I don't, I definitely, a two shower day is, that's to me. I'm having way too much. But if you wake up the morning, you're not feeling greasy, you would take one and if you go to the gym,

you might take another one. Yeah. The rock says he has four showers a day. Is that crazy? Four showers a day every day. The environment can't afford to keep the rock. Well, he's so big too. He's so big. When you think of those showers, they got to like. I think that's the biggest city in the country, the rock. Well, he's so big too. He's so big. When you think of those showers, they gotta like.

I think that's the biggest city in the country, the rock. Yeah. Biggest city in the world. In an area. Yeah. But only like 6,000 people live on them. Yeah, I'm sure I've said before, he eats nothing but cod. And he takes showers four times.

I'm sure I've said nothing. But that's but cod. Uh-huh. And he takes showers four times. I'm sure I've said nothing. But that's like a whale. He's on a whale lifestyle. Do you think people power wash him or do you think he gets in a shower? Oh my gosh, to power wash the rock after. Are we? He's covered in paint.

I know. Are we body shamming the rock? No. No. We're body praising the rock. All right. But he wouldn't fit in my shower, there's no way. Too many beautiful, beautiful muscles.

I have a friend who she's a bit OCD, her and her partner, and she does double shower days. Yeah. On a daily basis. Okay. And I'm just like, how is your skin not peeling off? Like, I feel like it's too dry for me to. Yeah.

Shower not dry, shower wet. Oh, I've been doing it wrong the whole time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just going in front of a whole bunch of fans. I'm showered. Yeah. Get the space heater on, some fans. Need a hot shower, space theater.

Ooh, a cold shower, no space theater. Air conditioner. Anyways, a cold shower, no Space Theater. Air conditioner. Anyways, you were saying? Do I, is it my turn? Yeah. Okay, my overheard is from the paint store. Okay. So I was buying my paint

and I had like drop cloths and tape. Yeah. Paint, did I say paint? Yeah, you had your shorts on. I had Did I say paint? Yeah. You had your shorts on. I had, I got my skis shined up, grabbed a stick of Juicy Fruit. You wore your skis during painting?

No, I got them shined up. Oh, you shined them up. Yeah. And he grabbed a stick of gum. I got my, I got a roller. I got replacement rollers. You got the pan that you do the roller in? Yeah, the pan.

Hell yeah. I got a brush and had all this stuff and I was parked behind the place and the employee was a nice, quiet guy. Like he had taken all my measurements and like, okay, you'll need this much paint and you need this. 26, 24, 36.

Yeah, well, only if she's five, three or whatever. I don't know. And he's, you know, helped me out. He's been very serious the whole time. And he's like, do you need help out to your car? And I'm like, oh, no, I'm right outside the door. I'll just make two trips. And I grab a few cans

and some stuff and I go to my car and then I turn around and he's right behind me and he's like, he's brought the other stuff I didn't carry and I was like, oh, thanks so much. And he says, do you watch Better Call Saul? And I'm like, yeah. And he says, it's all like, yeah. And he says, it's all good, man.

Oh, nice. Nice, nice. I like that one. But he couldn't just drop it because it wouldn't have worked. He has to preface it in my section. I was like, well, I'm almost through the first season, but. Yeah, he wants to talk about the closing season. Yeah, I watched the first season and I forgot about it.

So I was starting again. But yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all good, man. That's good. Yeah, yeah. He's like asking if you watch Better Call Saul and you're like, listen, my car's running and the kids are on double-parked.

Well, I mean, I saw Breaking Bad. Is that going to be good enough? Yeah, I know the character is from Breaking Bad. Did you watch the Aaron Paul Breaking Bad movie? Look, I just want to say Saul Goodman. I just gotta, you gotta let me get it in there. Am I right? Was there a Breaking Bad movie? There was. El Camino, it was called. What, did you see it?

Yeah, I just rewatched it recently because I watched all of Better Carl Saul, watched all of Breaking Bad, and then that was kind of the like final thing to do. No more Breaking Bad stuff. I've seen it all. I quit. It's all good, man. I'm holding you to this. Yeah, have you seen it at all?

I don't care for Breaking Bad. Okay. You might like Better Call Saul. Oh, I love it. Yeah, you do. Oh yeah. Oh really? Okay.

I don't care about Breaking Bad. Anyways, you know, it's all good, man. Yeah, you do. Oh yeah. Oh really? Okay. I don't care about- Anyways, you know, it's all good, man. It's all good. The guy, he was like, you watch that show? Bob Odenkirk. He just says that? Yeah.

Anyways, we'll see. Yeah. Well, see you later. Oh my gosh. My overheard is courtesy of an employee as well. I went and saw the movie Sinners. Did I spoil it for you with my? No, no, I enjoyed it.

Someone left us a comment like that we were pseudo scientists and movie spoilers. I forgot the one we had talked about. It wasn't spoiled for me. But there was a guy, I loved this guy so much. He obviously they just had nothing for him to do. Is there's the person who can sell you the ticket, and there's the person that tears the ticket. And then there's just some people that are around that are kind of floaters between crowds. So this guy was one of the floaters. He was just hanging out in the hallway where all the theaters are. And he walked past me, you're going to see, he goes,

sitters, theater five, don't get too scared. And I was like, oh, that rules. And then when I came out to the bathroom, I went to go to the bathroom and he was like, bathroom? Just down the hall there. And as I'm going, I could hear the background. Don't get too scared. What, is he talking to you?

No, he's talking to another couple. This is his pattern. Don't get scared. I thought he was talking to you about in the bathroom. Or like he saw someone get actually get really scared and to calm them down after the movie. Yeah, this is like a legal thing he has to do. Is there anything? Don't get too scared. The movie's not scary. No Yeah, I mean if you're a little kid it probably be. Oh, yeah But I was I wanted it to be scary and I was disappointed. It's not scary

No, I can watch it if I don't like scary movies. Yeah, if you don't like scary movies, yeah, I guess But like why would you? If you don't like scary movies, yeah I guess. But like why would you? If you don't like scary movies, you'd probably. Well I like a little excitement, but like for instance I was watching the movie. You know what, I don't like tomatoes. Ugh. Ew.

Is there cooked discussed? Ugh. The movie, I think it's called Beatrice at Dinner or? Oh yeah. And it's called Beatrice at Dinner or. Oh yeah. And it's Salma Hayek. And anyway, I'm watching this movie and I'm high. Yeah. And it starts getting real dark.

The movie starts going to a really dark place and she's like a very like animal loving type of hippie type healing person. Okay. But she's getting really mad. And then you're just like, oh, like I can't watch this. Like I can't, I'm like, this is getting too, like I'm too high.

I can't, I'm too getting too scared about this movie. So I just don't know what happened at the end. I got too scared. See, that's where this guy would have come in handy. Yeah, if he would have told me ahead of time, don't get too scared, I would have been fine. I would have completed the movie. Just remember what the guy said, don't get too scared.

I don't know if I've completely stopped watching a movie because I was like disturbed or scared. I've stopped watching movies because I fell asleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll watch it, but I'll have to be sober. Yeah. I'll watch the end of it. Have you watched the end of it or is it still? No, I'll watch it, but I'll have to be sober. Yeah. I'll watch the end of it.

Have you watched the end of it or is it still? No, I'm going to. Okay. I can't wait. I haven't been sober since... Do you say at the meeting, I've been sober since this movie. I want to watch the end of it, but now we also have Overheard sent in to us by people all over the map.

You want to send one in? Send it inY at maximum fun org and this first one comes from Dwayne This is from Dwayne Knock knock there Dwayne Dwayne who? Dwayne the Bathtub So this is a In Edmonton I was with some friends walking on one of the trails and coming in the other direction was our friend Candice, who was talking with her friend

that was visiting from Toronto. I'm confused. I'm already at a loss. This guy's walking a trail one way, other people are coming this way. Two people come this way, one guy going that way. Which one is Candice in all this? And Candice has a friend?

Yeah, and who's visiting from where? Is Candace in the couple? There's even another paragraph that I cut out of this. Go back, that might have been a good paragraph for like, okay, a friend's family has a big piece of land in the country north of Edmonton, where they host concerts, artist residencies, and educational nature walks.

Okay! Okay, so somebody's on a nature walk, okay. Oh, I feel Candice coming Which way? This is I overheard the middle of this conversation the Toronto friends say yeah, it's short for charisma means you're lit Kansas. Oh Okay, didn't know that one. We say hi on the trails. They pass us by Toronto friend continues and fit means you're real fit Oh, okay. I don't know fit.

They're learning some new. Some slang. Yeah, some slang. So Riz was the first one. It's gotta be Riz. Yeah, short for charisma, but isn't a fit short for outfit? Oh, yeah, that's true. It used to, the British, the Turner was what I was thinking of.

They were wrong on one of the. Yeah. Yeah, that's what happens when you get a slang from a stranger, you know? You wanna go to Urban Dictionary, that's where you wanna go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say that a lot of the like,

Gen Alpha, you know, skibbity toilets. Skibbity toilet, yeah. You know. You know skibbity toilet? Don't. No. No. A lot of it like too scary. I noticed that they are, they know the slang,

but they're not like, they don't consider it good. Right. Like they're, they make fun of it as much as. Cause it's so silly. Yeah. Yeah. Riz is a good one. I'm glad Riz is obviously.

I like Riz. I like Riz. There's like also like eight and cook. Yeah. Cooking. Riz is a good one. I'm glad Riz is on. I like Riz. I like Riz. There's like also like eight and cooked. Yeah. Cooking. Cooking and eating. And eight, you're like, yeah, that outfit eight. It's like, that one's hard for me to wrap my head around or- That outfit was good if it eight or it was not good. It's good.

Yeah. Or if you're cooking, you're doing- Referring to your friend group or whoever you're talking to as chat. Chat? Yeah. As though you're a streamer streaming and you're talking to the people in the chat, but you're just talking to your friend group or whoever you're talking to as chat. Chat? Yeah, as though you're a streamer streaming and you're talking to the people in the chat, but you're just talking to your friends. Hey chat, what do we think about this fit? Do I have Riz?

That's a, like on a test, please write a sample of today's current slang. Yeah, is this fit, awesome sauce? Yeah, does this fit? Awesome sauce? This next one comes from Airy e r i e no sorry. This is where he lives is Erie, Colorado. His name is Jeremy Jeremy? I was waiting for my son to finish his Akito class and there was two six-year-old boys sitting at a table drawing pictures. This is a conversation, convo, yeah, I put two, but my favorite is convo one.

Boy one, maybe we can do something for Easter. Boy two, I don't celebrate Easter. Boy one, why not? Boy two, I'm Jewish. Boy one, but do you want to? It's really fun. Oh, you digging? Who's digging?

Who's digging? Sorry, that was me. I danged. So danged. You ding-dung-dang. It's really fun. Oh, you digging? Who's digging? Who's digging? Sorry, that was me at dang. So dang. You ding, ding, dang. Sorry to mean to dang. Anyway, I'm sorry to Jeremy. Sorry, Jeremy.

The ding ruined your overheard. But it is. Yeah. I actually, the ding totally took me off track. So I don't celebrate Easter and then what the other kids say. The kid said, yeah, he said I'm Jewish. And then the boy went says, do you want to? It's fun.

Yeah, come celebrate. It's fun. We're just doing the Easter egg style. I mean, the eggs are so lit. They're so lit. I like to put on a good fit with my chat. Those eggs cook. Those eggs cook.

Those eggs are cooked. Are we cooked, Chad? Yeah. And what's cooked? Cooked is good? You're done. You're done. You're cooking.

You're doing well. Oh yeah, but let him cook. Yeah, let him cook is good. He's cooked already. But if he's cooked, then. Hey, he's him cook. Yeah, let him cook is good. He's cooked already. But if he's cooked then. Hey, he's. Yeah, okay. All right, okay you guys.

It's like how. He's well done if you know what I mean. A proper fit. I see that's adding in British slang as well. It's too much. You're a fit but don't you know it? Yeah, the streets. The streets.

The streets. The pirate radio material or whatever it was. What was that album called? I liked that album when it came out. Yeah, it was good. The Streets. Oh, what album was it? Was it A Grand Don't Come For Free or?

No, it was. Do you know more than one? I think I only know the one. The Streets. Help Me Out Chat. Help Me out chat. Help me out chat. A grando come for free original pirate material. Original pirate material. That's the one. This last one comes from Kyle in Thunder Bay. I was recently waiting in a garage while my car's spark plugs were getting changed. You can probably do that yourself. Were they getting changed in 1975? Oh, it's your spark plugs.

That was like always the cause. There's an older gentleman with his two granddaughters, about six or eight years old. The grandfather was using the courtesy coffee station. Oh, that is classic mechanic. Oh yeah. Having a little coffee. Yeah. Uh. Oh, boy. I bet Keurig is just cleaning up in the in the mechanic waiting rooms. You hear us speaking of Keurig. Well, no, Nespresso is the one

that Clooney's associated with. Yeah. But then he threw like a whole giant party for Joe Biden. Joe Biden didn't know who he was. Oh, yeah. Like he's he threw this like giant grandiose fundraiser and Joe Biden didn't know. What does that have to do with Nespresso? Oh, Keurig. I went from Keurig to Nespresso, Nespresso to George Clooney.

But there's no coffee component. Okay. Boy, I could have mentioned anything and you would have brought up the George Clooney switch. I've been jamming in the midst. Oh, Dave, you had a Caesar salad? Well, you know who had a Caesar haircut is George Clooney. You know, it's hot. Speaking of one of the hottest guys around. Graham's leg has been shaking up into this moment. Like the whole podcast.

Oh, you wanted to speak to the manager? Oh, the last two letters of manager are ER and ER is a TV show star and George Clooney. Graham's dying. I'm dying. The grandfather was using the courtesy coffee station. Grandfather ends in ER. To make his granddaughter some hot chocolates. Oh.

Brought it to them and then went back to make himself a coffee. One of the girls asked, Grandpa, where are you outgoing? Are you gonna go? Terminate someone and the two daughters went to argue about whether granddad was a regular Terminator or an evil t-1000 for the next few minutes Well, these kids know about Terminator 2. That's cool. Yeah Is that Riz that these kids are either do is Riz? Yeah Yeah. Is that Riz that these kids love? Terminator 2 is Riz. Yeah.

I watch Terminator, when kids watch Terminator 2, they're like, let's fucking go. Well, that's great. That's great. Oh, one thing I wanted to mention before I do the other overhards is Graham was a guest on the Retail Namers podcast. We forgot to bring that up, I think.

Wait. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right. It was showed up in a lot of people's feed because it hasn't been on for many years now. So if you used to listen to Retail Nightmares and the show ended until you deleted it from your player, it's back. There's one episode with Graham. Nice. They said it was your player. It's back, there's one episode. It's great. Oh nice.

And they said it was too good, that's gonna be the only episode we put out. It's just, it was the right time, everybody was ready for it. Yeah. And now that I brought it up, I also was on some podcasts. Yeah, you were on Jordan and Jesse Go.

Right, I was on Jordan and Jesse Go during the Max Fun Drive. I was on Wonderful during the Max Fun Drive. I was on Wonderful during the Max Fun Drive. I was on Evil Men a few months ago. And then recently I was on with our friends Ryan Beale and Mark Chavez, their show, The Town Show. The Town Show, cool. You've been busy.

Yeah, I have been busy. I like guesting on my friends' pods. Yeah, that's fun. Well, let's see if we have any more overheards now in addition to overheards that are written And we also accept your ding that wasn't me this time in addition to overheards that are written And we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 That's one of my pod one like these people have one, ugh, Spypod one, like these people have. Everything's taking all over the place.

And if you want to send us a voice memo, that's probably preferable. Sure. And you can do that by emailing spy at maximumfun.org, like these people have. Hello, Dave Graham and esteemed guest. This is Zane from Kalamazoo, Michigan. Calling in an overheard. I was at a Detroit Tigers baseball game and I was coming back down to my seat from buying a pretzel and these two women were shouting across the aisle at each other so I don't think they knew each other. And they were a little drunk, but one of them says, I can't believe they always toss these foul balls to kids.

And the other one says, yeah. And they don't even contribute to the economy. No frigging way. Anyway, off I go. They run a lemonade stand, they do. Yeah, and they buy toys. Yeah, and they participate in. Yeah, and they participate in the consumer version of Christmas.

Swim lessons. Yeah, finding quarters at the bottom of the pool. Yeah, kids contribute, all right? Kids do plenty, right? I mean, gosh, we've got to get them back to work though. Yeah, it's a good job for a kid, twice or else. Yeah, tiny, getting tiny things out of a hole. Yeah, that's a good job for a kid, twice or else. Yeah, tiny, getting tiny things out of a hole. Yeah, that's right, fishing things out of a hole.

Yeah, those are the bigs. Those are the bigs, I think. Kalamazoo. Yeah. Fun place to be living in, Kalamazoo. Yeah, one of the more fun town names. Yeah. City even.

Speaking of like sports, there's a lot of videos and the algorithms really serving them up for me. People dropping hot dogs on other people by accident. Oh, I've seen several of them and like keep them coming. Dropping them on them like tripping and dropping a hot dog on somebody sitting in a sports game. Anyways, keep it coming algorithm. Every time why every time I read a Baseball game. I'm always on the look at I'm always chomping at every time in case a hot dog comes towards me Okay next phone call Hey, hey Graham. Hey everybody. Hey beautiful guests. This is will from Chicago. Listen, you guys know that I'm your humble servant. I'm always listening for overheard and I was in the grocery store and I saw a woman

walking around. She had an earpiece in and she couldn't see that she was even talking to somebody on the phone and I heard her angrily saying, you listen to me. You better pray I don't see you at the funeral forever again at the cemetery. And I wanted to hear the rest of this conversation so badly, but I had to pick my wife up at the train. She's coming in from out of town. I had to get my groceries and leave. All right.

But I feel bad for whoever she was talking to. And I hope they resolve those things amicably. Off I go. Thank you. Stay out of the graveyard. That's our turn. Yeah. If I see you in the funeral. No, not even just the funeral. The graveyard for the rest of your life.

I don't even want you buried there. Yeah, exactly. I want you stuck in a storm drain. I don't know where else you could go. But yeah, he really continued on his story quite a bit after the over. Pete Slauson Yeah, but I had to get my wife. Pete Slauson I had groceries. Pete Slauson She's got a bum leg. Anna Sjoerd Yeah, I almost took like the beauty out of it or the essence out of it that he was a nice

guy after. Like, I would have rather he just told us that and we laugh and laugh. Pete Slauson Yeah, don't be a nice guy after. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Anna Sjoerd I just hope they reconcile. Yeah. Yeah. When it's too late, right? Yeah. Got to get that done.

When you're in the graveyard, it's too late. Yeah. Oh, man. What's your tombstone going to say? What's on my tombstone? Pepperoni, et cetera. Seasoned pepperoni, fine. No, I like something funny.

You know, you're standing on my dick or something like that. How's your standing on my dick? I do remember when I was a kid, we went to my dad's hometown, the graveyard there, and it was like, this is with my grandma, and she's like, this is where I'll be buried. Yeah. I was just walking around the graveyard and I remember being scolded like don't walk there

there's a body under there. Oh yeah. To like stick to the path. Uh-huh. My one of my good friends is telling me this mother's day just passed and my mom's deceased. She's in Lake Erie? Yeah she's all over the cliff and in the water. But yeah so so my friend and I were like, she was just trying to make me like cheer me up. And like, I'm single now. So we're trying to do like different approaches to meeting people, like in an organic way. And she's like, just get dressed up, go to the cemetery. You'd be surprised how many nice people are there that you can meet. She's like, just go out to a bar, like, like try to pick up a guy with his mom. I'm like, well, You'd be surprised how many nice people are there that you can meet. It's kind of a social thing. She's like, just go out to a bar, like, try to pick up a guy with his mom.

I'm like, well, he's with his mom. See if there's a guy walking around with an urn, try to strike up a conversation with that. There were, at the grocery store this weekend, there were so many, like in the produce aisle, they were selling raspberries and strawberries in those clam shells, but the clamshells were heart-shaped? Huh. I was like, it's not Valentine's Day.

It's Mother, I brought you some raspberries in a heart-shaped clam shell. Yeah. Lucky mom. Wash them, though. Okay, final. They taste like seafood. Final phone call. Hello, Dave, Graham, and guests. This is Brian calling from Chicago with an overheard.

I was listening to a baseball game. It was a Dodger game and it was like a promo between innings or before the game. And it was like, you know with the aggressive sports guy announcer voice and and it was like, you know, with the aggressive sports guy announcer voice. And it was a phrase that was the most aggressively I've ever heard someone say this phrase. And so I'm going to give you my rendition now. Hey, sports fans, this Sunday, don't miss the Dodgers and Hello Kitty. They put their differences aside. That was awesome.

That was a perfect end. Was a perfect end to a perfect night. Yeah. Amber, you run a show once a month on hiatus for the summer. Yeah. Cool. Fine. I'll be back in the fall. Where's that? That's at the Enza Club. Nice. Upstairs, downstairs. Upstairs. Yeah. in the main space.

I also host Taco Tuesday every Tuesday, unless I'm on the road. Yeah, it's all ladies show. Okay. Every Tuesday? Yeah, it's going really well. It's at Comedy After Dark. Okay. And if you don't mind, I just want to plug, other than your 24 hour fundraiser, which

is May 24th, I want to plug two other fundraisers. I'm doing this fundraiser called Matt Billende and that's June 4th at Yak Yak's in Surrey. And then I'm doing another fundraiser that Deborah DiGiovanni is headlining. Oh. On, I think it's July 15th, it's at House of Comedy. And these are all like the fundraisers for the summer.

So I just want to give them a huge. Yeah. And I'm going to actually be on a fun loser. Yeah, you go and all the money disappears. It's for a bad cause. Put money into a pit. Yeah, we're trying to get whatever's the opposite of Greenpeace. Yeah. Putting more oil on other animals.

It's for Bill Cosby. He's the baddest cause there is. Yes. Well, thank you, everybody out there for listening. Thank you, Amber, for being our guest. Thank you for having there for listening. Thank you Amber for being our guest. Thank you for having me guys. And anybody out there who wants to stream or come and see me slowly becoming delirious over 24 hours, little mountain gallery dot CA.

It's from the 23rd to the 24th of this month, May. May! That's this Friday and Saturday, folks. It's, uh, um, and you know it's not too long? Be in the middle of summer. That, uh, won't be humid enough forever, but that's fine. Uh, hopefully it's nice your humidity level is to your liking wherever you live, and come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. So, thanks for watching.