Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 900 - Jane Stanton

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

Comedian Jane Stanton returns to talk dating apps, Final Destination, and memories of episode 3. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 900 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man I can't dream of doing 900 episodes with anybody else, Mr. Dave Schumpke. This is why you shouldn't write your own wedding vows.

I didn't write mine, I just wrote. Oh yeah, you were in Vegas, right? Yeah. Do they let you write your own vows with the drive-through? Yeah, we said some vows, but I have it written down somewhere. Or did I just, I can't remember.

Anyways, they mean a lot. Yeah. Graeme, there's no one I'd rather do 900 episodes with than you, big fella. Ah, get out of here. And I hope we get 300 more. Yeah. Now, I'll talk about that in a second.

And our guest today, our third ever guest on the history of this podcast. Third ever or second ever? First was you and I, second was Mr. Ben Mills. Well, we're not guests. Oh, I see. Okay. And then technically, we're not guests. Oh, I see, okay. And then technically you're a second guest ever. Jane Stanton. Hello.

Hello, how are you? I'm great, that was hard for me not to talk. Can you believe that we've known you that long? That'd be even longer, I guess. How long is that? We started the show 900 episodes ago. Which is? About 900 weeks.

2010, 2008. 2008. Yeah. That's nuts. Yeah. Cause I knew you in 2008. Yeah. Sure.

When I first started standup in 1995. Um, what's the scene like in 1995? It was crazy. I was on my tour pants. Um, I started in like 2005, five. We were like the same time. Oh. You, me, Darcy, yeah.

The crew when we rolled up. Yeah, we rolled up in a crew. I think, you know, you look at- They were gonna die. The first 20 episodes of this podcast would be the crew, I guess. Although a lot of those, some fallen soldiers. There really is. All right, Pete, I was going to bring, there was an episode, because I was thinking about,

you said it was the 900 episode. You used to, one of them, what was the candy we put in our mouth? Pop Rock. Thank you. I don't know what episode it was. I was trying to find it. I think you brought it. I was like, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I put the whole thing in my mouth and we weren't supposed to do that. I was like, oh, and then there was, yeah, it'd be nice making drinks and made the quick thing. Yeah. I didn't make a little milkshake that I think kind of unlocked your celiac disease. No, I had it. I just was like, yes, because I hadn't had it since I, cool, uh, quick. But it was quick was the thing. It wasn't the milk. It was the wheat. At the time when we talked about it, we thought you were lactose intolerant.

And we found out I guess later that we love lactose. We talked celiac with Darcy last week. We love that kind of talk. Everything we got to know us. Well, I won't step into it. It's all good. Do we want to get to know us? Yes.

Get to know us! Now, did you know when you were on our show an episode before that you were signing a lifetime contract? Yeah! No, I didn't. No, I did not. Do we? I'd say the guests that we have that we don't have back, it's mostly...

Because they quit standup altogether? They quit standup or they didn't want to be on our show ever again. What did you two do? But then there's some that we just don't want to have them back. And a lot of them just move. I love them, like, have you guys never not aired an episode?

Never not aired, we've lost a couple. Yeah, but not- Wink, wink, okay. Never like, this stinks, we gotta- No, the ones we lost, we recorded immediately. Yeah. And then there was the Aaron Salazar one that you were sick and we couldn't re-record it.

So we have, there's one half hour episode. One half hour, yeah. Oh, okay. But yeah, there was no show that was so- Stinkers? No, there's been stinkers. There's been stinkers. Oh, there's been a couple we shouldn't have released.

Hey guys, this is a stinker. Yeah. Yeah. What are you going to do? Okay. Yeah, but we'll go into details off my... But also like, in the COVID Zoom times, it's like, well, this person who has their own podcast apparently doesn't own a microphone

Killed me when me and Darcy were doing it and they would be that they're like, yeah I have a mic and then they show up with like their earbuds and then there's construction. I'm like where just in my car I pulled off the highway. Can what? Can you get this in post no, no, we can't no, this is bare bones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been in an accident. Send help. Can you get this in post? No, no we can't. No. This is bare bones. You know what? As hard as I am on AI, it can save a lot of audio these days.

Does it? Yeah. There's some good tools. I'm uh... Just don't draw me a picture of an elf. I don't want that. I don't want to see a soldier on their 100th birthday. Yeah, I don't want to see, you know, what Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston would look like if they were average citizens, things like that. But I want to see what they look like as babies and talking.

I can't stop with that. I'm sorry. What, having celebrity babies? No, but like AI generated. Of like, I have shivers. Oh gosh. It's like, who I don't like, Theo Von. We can say anyone.

As a baby talking, how, cause he's a dumb dumb. And when he's talking, oh, I could just watch it all day. I don't know why. Just a baby. You believe it. You're like, yeah, this is a baby. Yes. Have you guys, oh.

Have we got Theo Von on? No. Yes. Have you guys, oh, go down there. Have we got the O'Vanna? No. No. We had his hair styled, so. What was that like episode, the 120 or something? What is his deal? Like I see clips of him and he's got a podcast. He's part of the Manosphere.

And he's dumb. Yeah. So he gets to say whatever he wants because he's not very smart. Yeah. Honestly, you're right like and it's just like 100 you can't get mad at him because like well, I don't know. I'm

I'm from the south my brain's full of rocks. I was uh did a lot of drugs It's that but he's like in that mothership comedy, you know, joe rogan and kill tony. He's part of that universe It's funny that I don't know, like, it's, that stuff's everywhere and it's so, you'd think it would be hard to avoid. Like, I know when a clip comes across my screen that I'm like, hmm. What do we think of Bobby Lee?

We haven't really, we haven't really. He's on Just Like That, so I gotta give him the, yeah, he was part of the podcast. Carrie was on. She didn't want to get filthy on the podcast. I'm dying. Oh, is that right? You watched it just like that.

Can't wait for the new episodes. It looks so bad. What? Am I gonna watch it 100%? Did you watch the first two seasons? Of course I did. Okay. I hate watch things always.

Yeah. But this one looks bad, like the jokes. I don't Okay. I hate watch things always. Yeah. But this one looks bad, like the jokes, I don't know if you've seen the ads for it. It's all the same. She's on the ground going, I've fallen and I can't get up. That is one of them. I'm like, oh no.

Is that after her hip break? Might have been, yeah. Or is this a new joke? Oh, this is the new season. Maybe she's fallen again, like a tricky hip. Once it breaks, you're screwed. What was she with now? Is she back with Aiden?

With the ghost of Big. She's back with the ghost of Big? They promised even in the afterlife they were gonna stick together. And he left her at the altar again. As a ghost? Yeah. Boy, he ghosted.

He died on his Peloton? Yeah, he ghosted he died on his peloton. Yeah. Yeah You remember that as soon as that episode aired peloton Ran an ad being like he's okay No, that was him and the founder of peloton like having smoking a cigar. Hi, I'm Greg peloton I'm here with mr. Big to say he's okay But do they killed him off because he was canceled? Oh, yeah, probably. I feel like, I thought it was like after that episode,

one or two episodes that then he was canceled. Oh, okay. But then maybe they knew it was coming out that they're like, let's kill him. Yeah, let's kill Big. They, I mean, kill Tony's one thing. Yeah, this is the funny thing that's happened is like, it used to be you had to have like three minutes to be on,

you know, Canada's Got Talent or like Star Search or whatever. Now it's one. I don't even know it's one. You got clips of you being like, what do you do? You suck, shut up. Ha ha ha ha. And someone throws like a bottle at you and they're like, oh my God.

Nobody's throwing bottles. Well, I just, I don't know. Do you watch this at all, Jane? This is what I want. So here's the joke I was thinking of a minute ago. Go ahead. What if, would it be, okay. Ha ha ha, I really said in the stand chair.

I don't have a Peloton. No. Okay, now we're building it up too much. I don't have a Peloton. No. This is okay. Now we're building it up too much. This is like not a stand up joke. This is like a joke. Like, but okay. How about what if you got a Peloton?

What? You have to have your like account name because they all they're all I always see videos of them shouting out people like how do you know this though? I get them in my algorithm. I get a lot of people like field bond and fabulies. If you're like. And Peloton riders. No, I was talking a few episodes ago about how they have like, all right, Hugh G. Rekshon,

shout out. Oh no, you got me. Like there's the, the Peloton. Funny names. Oh no, I know because this is weird you're bringing it up. I'm going to go, Alexia's away, so I'm going to her place to go do a Peloton ride. At her place? Yes.

Okay. And the instructors are always shouting out. People, it's your thousandth ride. Yeah, and it's people who, and sometimes the people have a funny name. Yeah. And they try to trick the teachers into saying them, but I would go on. My account name would be Mr. Big's Ghost. That would be very good.

I like it. Very good. It'd be inside, but the people who get it would really they'd get it in a big way I'm turning into mr. Bigg Just want to stay in and watch old movies. Oh, yeah, and she was like, no, we're not doing this It's the rest of our life. We're not getting into bed every night and just watching an old movie. She was like, we gotta make this work. I gotta go to a gala. Did you watch it as well? I watched some of the original.

I never watched it just like that. Cause he would be like, let's watch the gay divorcee and she'd be like, Samantha, send me a pun. Send me a pun to say about it. You're gonna be a gay divorcee if you're not quick. If you don't pick me up. I'm also, it was at the last season and movie that like Samantha wasn't a part of, and then they would do it like, she texted, it was so weird.

That was on the new series, because Samantha was on Sex and the City 2 when they go to Dubai. I'm just, I did not know this about you. It's, it's- Yeah, I have to. I have to. I've seen both the movies, the movies- Why are you is it's yeah i have to i've seen both the movies the movies why are you watching it because i'm i have nothing better to do yeah and the whole movie i think we discussed

the bag the entire movie was centered around one bun which was erin gobralas yes yeah there was an irish she was an irish babysitter yeah and played by Alice Eve, the voluptuous Alice Eve. And she's wearing no bra, and then she's also Irish. Is this the first movie? No, this is the second movie. Well the second movie is also based on the fact that what if we had a single ladies dance? When did they go to Morocco? It was Dubai or Abu Dhabi or something.

But it was the second one. Sorry, okay. You guys are killing me. I feel like I'm 95. Your memory is like, it's like you have notes. Oh my God. The first one, the first movie was the wedding and big didn't show up too.

And then the second one it starts. And the redhead had a big muffin Mexico. Which I get. Okay. The Redhead. I don't know her name. Oh, Jane, you're such a The Redhead. What's her name?

Miranda. Thank you. Boring. Continue. Sorry to our Miranda listeners. No, I... What's an exciting name, Jane? Don't. My. Shockwave.

Yeah, why is her name Shockwave? Yeah, so you've been on the show many, many times. I don't know how many total, but. 452. 452, that's right. Yes. You were on... Episode 3. Episode 7.

They really were pushing out. Oh, now we're also... Episode... I love that. That we were like, well, we've run through all the comedies in town. But you guys won. So that's the difference. It was a different time back then.

Oh, no. It was, though. That's the difference. It was a different time back then. Oh, no. It was, though. It was. This is your 13th time. Ooh, lucky. Yeah, lucky. I'm lucky. What have you been up to?

What have I been up to? We had you here about a year ago. Yes. What's been going on for Jayne Stanton since then? Just doing shows, doing my producing shows and whatnot, doing the Queens of Comedy, and then doing this month, June, Everyone's Gay. Okay.

And with the Toddy headlining, and then Steve Letts. Is that a pride thing? Show, yeah. No, it's just. Just Everyone's gay. Just the thing I say. I was going to say it's me like bitching about it. Like a person that doesn't, I don't get it.

Like a previous mayor, Rob Ford seemed to avoid the pride parade every year. Yes. And just producing my shows as well, like Swipe Right and Secrets. And I like secrets. And this, your full-time thing is producing shows now? Yes. More or less. And a dog mom.

Yep. You're a dog mom. Stay at home, dog mom. Stay at home. I have a baby Bjorn. Would you? I. Is your dog small enough to take advantage of that technology?

Well, she's 15 pounds, but leggy. So she comes off like a 25 pounder. What kind of dog are we talking about? I don't know, like a Parsons Terrier mixed with like an Australian Blue Heeler. That's a lot of energy. I know, that's why I drug her. Anxiety, that's what she has. So anyways. Does she have anxiety or does she just not have a ranch?

To just round herself down. Yeah, yeah. Probably that. You should put her on the Peloton. You were going to say you should put her on the pill. She uses my IUD sometimes. They're really expensive. She uses my IUD sometimes. They're really expensive.

Don't they have to be implanted? Yeah. She uses it sometimes. If it's lying around the apartment. I saw her chewing on it. I was like, no! And trying to go on stupid. I mean, going periodically on dates.

Yeah. Now, when I was last on dating apps, it was Tinder was the only game in town. I'm on. Since then, how many are there? I thought you were gonna say, since then, Jane, how many are you on? I'm on Tinder.

You're on Tinder? I forget about it, and then they'll come in real hot, like, hey, are you there? It'll be like a week and I'm like, oh, sorry, just, I don't have notification. Yeah, sure. What's wrong with you? I'm like, bye.

Like, you're like, well, let's go on a date and see how it is. Oh, that's a person. Oh yeah. That's not the app saying, hey, are you still here? Like Netflix used to do? You still watching? Yeah, I wish.

Are you still here? Yeah. Do you still want to pretend that we're going to go on a date and we like each other? Uh, I've gone. Yeah. I go down the block.

I used to go around. What? Stop. I used to go, I live in Carousdale. There's a wine bar at the end of my street. I used to venture out to like Mount Pleasant, all of that. And then I'm like, I don't want to run into people. I know on a fucking date.

Right. All. I go there. It's like everyone's undercover. The waitress pretends like she doesn't know me. She'll be like, hi. But she knows this is maybe a second date in the night. It's great. It's great.

And then if I have a couple of drinks, walk home. If I have a neighbor or a guy coming back with me, who knows? Who can say? That's so cool. I wish I was on the data gaps. Oh, you'd kill. I'm on Peloton. Did you use that?

You're just like talking the whole time on the Peloton. You're not even writing, they can't see you. You're like, hey, what's everyone doing tonight? Hey, where do you guys see yourselves in five years? How long have you been with Abby? 2000. What? Yeah, Dave didn't even get to the Tinder phase.

Yeah, more than half my life. I might get the same time, I was like, beautiful. And then I went, I hate you. So you have no idea how horrible it is. No, I got, I- I love you were gonna say yes. Well, no, I got, I love you were going to say yes. I'm like, no, I hear, I hear about it, but I don't feel it. Same as me.

I hear, Oh, kids are hard, but I don't know. Oh my God. Are we freaky Friday? Oh shit. The terrible twos. I get it. My dog's too as well. No, like,

Yeah, that'd be cool if we switched bodies and we had to raise my kids and I had to date guys. I just start smoking and I'm like, get in here. He never smoked. I don't smoke now either. You smoked back in the day, didn't you? I just literally told the story about you when I was smoking. I didn't smoke when I first started standup

and then for whatever reason, year one or year two, I started smoking, I didn't smoke when I first started standup. And then for whatever reason, year one or year two, I started smoking again, but I was just bombing cigarettes off people in my head. Well, you're not a real smoker. I'm not a real smoker. You're not paying for it. But then I became that annoying person that I hated in high school.

I was like, hey, can I just have a cigarette? I'm like, and I realized that deep into my addiction. And I was smoking outside at Irwin addiction. And I was smoking outside at Urban Well, and I'd borrowed that too. You're not boring it. Yeah, give it back when you're done. Can I borrow a cigarette? Here's the gross smelling thing.

Jeffrey Yu, you're welcome for that. You came out and you're like, I didn't know you smoked. I'm like, yeah, you're like, you don't look, you think you look cool? I'm like, what? And you're like, do you think you look cool? I'm like, yeah, you're like, yeah, you don't look, you think you look cool? I'm like, what? And you're like, do you think you look cool? I'm like, I do.

You're like, you don't. I'm like, what? You, Graham said this? Yes. And I looked at it and I was like, fuck. That was me trying to get you to quit smoking. It was a little bit of that, sprinkle that. And then it was also men with their, you know,

lines and whatnot. Ooh, character. Female, she smokes for years. You're like, what the fuck happened to her? I wish it was different. It's such a double standard. I hate that. Ladies, smoke them if you got them. I want to, yeah, I want to, this is my- I want you to look 80 when you're 42. Yeah On the way over here I At the coffee shop. There was a couple that was very much on a first date because they were kind of going on at noon

Yeah, that's the best thing you could do you can step out. Are you're on all the apps. You're on, it's just lunch. I want to. But first date, we're not eating, Jane's not eating in front of you. I eat like a cookie monster. La la la la la. I know like you can't go for tacos for. Chicken wings?

Nope. Chicken wings. Err. That would be such a funny first date. Jane, do you wanna come for a first date at the corn festival? No, no, no. I'm not eating anything sloppy in front of a first date.

Yeah, chili cook off. You're literally saying the worst things you could eat, not just on a first date, the aftermath. Jane, it's Rib Fest. Yeah. What is, has been, like, the absolute worst date from the apps? Like specifically somebody that you met and went on a date with, that you were like, this was such a mistake. Did you ever find out a date of yours turned out to be a murderer? Don't do this to me ever, Dave.

I literally do get scared of that. So I- So you're gonna copy Dave. Okay, so there's two. There's one I didn't meet. We talked on the phone. We were supposed to meet the next day. He was British accents kill me.

And- Oh, Jane. We were supposed to meet the next day. He was British accents kill me and Do you want go for some fish and chips? Oh, I gotta go the washroom stop this. Pardon me while I get in the lift. I'm terribly chuffed to be great. You Let's have some aubergines together. Yeah, well, maybe some aubergines and courgette Turn into Popeye at the end. I know what just happened. So we had been messaging, it was probably, anyways, he was here for two weeks. We talked on the phone for like an hour. This is long distance for me, Jay.

No, it wasn't. 01144. And the phone rang weird too. That was the thing. Oh no. And then the next day, uh, he, we were going to go for coffee or brunch, something. I prefer tea. Maybe a full English breakfast. We were going for high tea. No, we weren't. I love that you bought what I just said. And then it's so funny in your country. High tea?

And then... You know, it's so funny in your country, you drink high C. Maybe I like it because I don't know, my mom still has a bit of a British accent. Sure. Anyways, and then he was like, hey, are you a morning person? I'm like, no, absolutely. No, I'm not. Yeah. I wake up to he sends me a picture, which I think is just him. It's a picture of

Him on the bed holding his ankles it's of his butthole Just going just messages. Thank you Abby and then peeking up so I can see that it's his eyes. Eyes! And then I just went, I screamed, but it wasn't, I never said, can you send me a picture of your butt? No! Ha ha ha! I would have rather.

Here's the test to see if she's my soulmate. Ha ha ha! Oh wow! I'm picturing that guy who's like. He did Happy Baby. He was Happy Baby holding his feet. But it's also how many times did it take him to take that picture. Oh, sure, yeah. Or did he... Does he have a roommate? You want to take a picture? I didn't even think of that. Someone went away with...

I'm also like, conversation was great. Sure. Ten out of ten. I do not like, never didn't stray into- I just don't know what to do, mate. She, she, everything was going well and then I sent her- She gets my mojo going. And then I sent her a picture of me bumble. She got me freaky. Um, and then that too was like, coffee? I'm like, just went radio silence. Ghosty before ghosting. And I was like, yeah, no. And he's like, what?. I'm like, just went radio silence, ghosting before ghosting.

And I was like, yeah, no. And he's like, what? And I went, are you- Coffee, you know I can't drink that. You've seen my butthole. Stop. I'm picturing the eyes peeking out from above. It was that with glasses.

I'm reminding, take off your glasses at least. But I'm picturing, what was that like famous graffiti that's like someone was here and it's- Oh yeah, like over the fence? Yeah. Yeah. You know that you recognize it's like a really simple graffiti of like a guy with a nose over the fence. Oh. Yeah.

Also, you mean like- Kilroy. Kilroy. I was gonna say like Tim Allen's the neighbor that would play this. Yes. Sorry. Speaking of comedy. This is what I'm picturing.

Oh God, thank you so much. That's like the best, worst experience you could ever have. And then he kept texting. He's like, you seem so great. I'm like, you blew it. You blew it. I don't know. What else could I have done? And then he kept texting he's like like you seem so great this I'm like you boy. Yeah I don't know what else could I have done? Not sent it second one was I met at the wine bar and then the guy was like

What do you want to drink? We'll drink like pushing I was like, oh like I got a glass of wine or something He's like, yeah, you should have it. I was like Yeah, and then he's like was drinking not that is whatever pop and he's like, three or four. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then he's like, was drinking, not that it's whatever pop, and he's like, yeah, I don't drink, and I'm like, okay, and then he started ordering, because I've gone on a couple that they don't drink, whatever, to each his own.

Sure. I like sneak in alcohol. Oh, maybe he won't taste it. Yeah, but do the one that tastes like the strongest. I'm like, is that whiskey? I'm like, no. And then he's like, oh, wine. And then I went to the washroom, came back and he was having a sip of my wine. I was like, what are you doing? And he's like, oh, it just looked good. I'm like, I thought you didn't drink. And then I'm like, why am I carrying what you like? I don't know you.

And then I felt bad. But then he's like, ooh, let's get a bottle. And I was like, well, it's free, okay. He's already ruined his sobriety. Well, he, yeah. And then I also looked to that I'm like, I think he gulped my wine when I was in the washroom. And that had a gulp in front of him. Was he sober?

Oh, he was, yeah, he didn't drink. He was having a Coke that he had a sip of. Well, some people don't drink and they don't have a problem. No, he literally said, I didn't drink. He was having a coke that he had a sip of and then some people don't drink and they don't have a problem. He literally said like I don't drink and I went well not anymore. Now you do. That's like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm or something like that. Taking a chug of your wine. And you're walking back that I was like, what? I thought you would be in the bathroom longer. I was hoping you had diarrhea. Yeah, I thought you were- You're the ones that keep bringing back the poop talk, FYI. That's true, you're not bringing it up,

we're bringing it up. It really is, you guys. Have you guys heard of the viral drink of the summer? No. Oh no, what is it? It's white wine with jalapeno in it. Ooh. Just cut up to spicy spicy whiny Would you try fucking with me Dave Dave? Why would you fuck with me? It's like the dumbest drink in the world

I don't know. Tick tock spicy margarita tick tock. It's tick tock should be blown up the one thing One are you on tick tock one thing? I'm gonna agree with Trump One thing. One thing I'm gonna agree with. Trump, get rid of TikTok. You heard it from me. I literally, my niece, I love her, but she'll be like, oh, I'm gonna do this for the wedding, this. I'm like, did you see it on TikTok?

That's your identity now of people of like, I'm gonna do this. I'm like, no, but what do you want? What were the things before, like for weddings, when I got married, it was very much the Pinterest time. What were weddings like before social media? People came in a wagon and some people wore toilet paper dresses, who knows?

Didn't it used to be you would cut pictures and stuff out of bridal magazines? Yeah. Like a... You think we're doing dream boards? Well, you were, admit that you were. I have a hundred in my bedroom. You think that's what we're doing?

Yeah, what else was, say, no. You go to a wedding and you'd be like, oh, that looks, this was great, this sucked. Oh, her hair is so big, I want big hair like that. I want bigger. Yeah. It's like the charcuterie board it that's like out of control right now I had apples just sent me a friend of mine of like hey Jane, when do we do this for all my parties?

We'd have that with the meat paper, you know, yeah sure That's what everyone is doing now, but they write it down cheese. I'm like, no, they know it's cheese. That's tick-tock Oh, they put like what like a little chalk. Yeah it's cheese. That's TikTok. It's huge. Like what, like a little chalk. Yeah, to write down what you're eating. This is cheese. I'm like, okay. Meat? I wouldn't like.

What could you confuse cheese for? Tofu maybe. What? Like you have to label that something's cheese. What else could it be? That's a pat of butter. That's what I'm saying. It was saying like it's named

and then people are doing like $500 charcuterie board for like 20 people. It's What do you think about Subway's footlong nacho? Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about right now? Yeah, it's a I love that I went I hate but intrigue. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's uh, it's a footlong You know how they have that footlong tray you have you see you seen the footlong cookie? No, you're celiac. Come on, Dave, get your head in the game. They have literally gluten-free bread. Yeah, they have. That's packaged.

I've had it, it was awful. I know, I was excited. Yeah. But I never liked Subway. But this- Wow, that's, this is where we part ways. But then it's like a footlong tray and they fill it with Doritos. And then- Are you showing me? I tray and they fill it with Doritos.

Are you showing me? I didn't know that it was Doritos. If it's Doritos, I will have it and shit myself. And then it's just like. Shut up. And then just whatever the toppings are, whatever. Well, Subway you're doing it right. Yeah, yeah.

And then Subway cheese. I thought what they should have been doing is putting that on the sandwich. Putting Doritos on the sandwich. Red, lettuce, zesty Doritos, the orange ones. I don't know why, a shosha. With the cheese sauce. Some jalapenos on that. Is it cheese sauce or is it just the cheese slices melted?

Oh, God. Or don't they have shredded that they sometimes put on something? It's been a while since I've been at Subway. Guys that gluten-free bun sucks ass. It sucked. Yeah. It's one of those ones you take a bite, you're like, ah, you have to get it toasted. That's what I did too.

But I took it, it was like old school. It felt like it was 10 years ago. It just like fell apart. I was like, I'm just holding salami now Anyway, we are we salute subway we love Jared Keeping the home fires burning Why well, yeah, what are you talking about? Well, this is a throwback episode to 900 weeks ago.

We don't know anything about him yet. That's right. Good vibes. The Folkmeister. His pants. I was just thinking about his pants not that long ago. Where did those pants end up? Because they were in some museum somewhere for a while.

Like, before, his fat pants? Pete Slauson Yeah. Jared Slauson Yeah, his fat pants. Pete Slauson Am I allowed to say that? Jared Slauson He's in jail, he won't hear this. Oh, imagine you could get a podcast in jail. Maybe you can. Pete Slauson I'm pretty sure they bring it, sneak in everything. I love it, you're like, they don't get it.

Jared Slauson Sneak a podcast in their ass. Pete Slauson They're hooping it. Pete Slauson The equipment, they're doing one in there. Is he still in jail? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I think for the foreseeable future. You said that like, is he right behind me?

Is this a surprise guest? Oh, yeah. You see him on a dating app? That would be hilarious. Oh, I'd swipe, right, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy knows what we're gonna eat for the day. We're gonna do a whole bunch of steps. Yeah. To see the city. We're gonna go for a walk. We're gonna have a sandwich. Yeah. And then we're gonna wear glasses. Did he eat a sandwich,

a foot long sandwich? I swear that's all he ate. That is why. Yeah. Yeah. It's the same but different of the McDonald's documentary where he gained a ton of weight, but he was like, I'm gonna lose one. Well, because he also started at like, I don't know, 500 pounds. Yeah. Yeah. And the guy, and the guy from the McDonald's one has, well, he's died since. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Morgan Spurlock died a couple of years ago. But it also came out that he was like, an alcoholic. Yeah. So like there were other reasons he was not doing well. You feel better for eating McDonald's. Well, you like there were other reasons he was not doing why you feel better for eating the McDonald's Well, you can't eat any French fries anymore. Well, the French fries are gluten-free. Are they? Yeah

So you but they're not potatoes. No, what are they? I don't know But they're so good. Yeah, they're really good. They really are. Oh my god Are you guys are looking at me like I? Twist my arm. Yeah, so we love McDonald's fries here. Yeah, I like the A&W to be honest. They got the, don't you shame me. Don't you still have them? Do I still have them?

Eat them? Are the fries not gluten-free? 100%. Oh really? What's the crispiness on the outside? Flour. That does explain it. Yeah, the- Now that you mention it.

It really does explain why I get sick every time. Wendy's fries, I think they have like a, now a little crust to them too, because I think it's be, because I think it's because, shut up. I had stopped myself. So many people just order things on the apps, not the dating apps.

Oh, I do. Just waving through looking for Wendy's. But like for delivery. Bring me some fries. The fries hold up better for delivery. Oh yeah, they would. But like just, I mean, I've never ordered fast food, like through a delivery app.

I thought you were trying to say ever. I was like, shut the fuck up. No, no, I eat it. Oh, I like it. Yeah, it's good. But like, I'll eat it in my car. I don't even- Shamefully in your car.

I won't even- Before you get home, you'll be like, yes. No, on my drive home, I'm like just steering with my knees. Goodness, the burger's so messy. But- It's hard to dip my fries, but I can do it. I can do it if I fuck.

But like the food that gets delivered, like a fast food through DoorDash, like it can be good. No, I think I did DoorDash once and I fucked up and it cost me so much money. I ordered a steak, the dumbest thing. I had a gift certificate and then I thought I didn't go through and then I Did it again? I've done that I did that exact same thing and I was like, hey, can you return? No, you can't get the money back. It's in Silicon Valley. Yeah. Yeah this exact thing

Never again. I also would be a fucking whale if I door-dash. I just I'm like, nope. Nope too easy too easy Or dash I've done I did Nando's once. Ooh, Chiquinando's? Is this what people are door dashing? And it was so steamy, like it came. In a good way or just slimy? No, and just sort of like, yeah, everything ended up quite wet because of the steaminess.

Yeah. I think the one that travels, like, just historically travels the best is Kentucky Fried Chicken because you would never eat in, right? People eat. Yeah, you're right. Back in the day. Although, when I used to live near a KFC, people would not, like people would eat it

there, because, or within a two block radius, and then you had to- That, and then you just throw the buckets. There were like Toonie Tuesdays, and the next, I would not be able to walk my dog near it because- You're going to say you weren't able to walk? Because there were chicken bones all over the ground. Oh, that was like a treat that my family had when I was younger. Same, we had it once a year.

We're like, once a year? I know. Like, honestly, I don't think it was on, it wasn't a heavy rotation McDonald's You get you grab McDonald's anytime my dad. No my dad had McDonald's once. I wish I had his willpower He had a bite of a quarter pounder. It was cold went up. It's cold though. They didn't care because this is 1922 Garbage never went back for while, after one bite.

Yeah. One cold bite. Urban Legend has it that Robert Downey Jr. was eating a Whopper and then was like, what am I doing with my life? And then checked himself into rehab the next day. Cause he was just like sitting on a stoop eating. It was a Whopper, not him in a baby crib

and breaking into someone's house. And sleeping in a crib. The Whopper did it? Yeah. Okay. Something has to do with it, you know? What's your favorite burger, you're back in the day I guess, Graham,

of like fast food? A&W. Graham likes the baby burger. No, he likes the impossible. Yeah, it's good. Okay, I got on board that but it's very salty I think I back in the day hamburger from McDonald's when I was a kid Okay, it's number one like Big Mac cheeseburger. hamburger, straight up. Just like the lowest of the low. Do you know anyone whose favorite is the Filet-O-Fish? Yep, two people. Really?

Yeah. Two people. Two people. I know one person. He's... He's not quite right. He's... It's like a goalie in a soccer team.

You're great, but you're a little bit off. Yeah, he's kind of off. He's sort of like the president of the United States. Joke! He loves the... He calls it of like the president of the United States. Joke! He loves the, he calls it the fish delight. The fish, yeah, and he also reportedly puts ketchup on steak, so this is the guy? This is the guy you voted on? Although he was right about that one thing, about TikTok.

Yeah, quote Jane on it. Trump was right. Trump was right. I'm gonna tell you. Theovon is a great baby talking AI generator. It's the median. It's not that you guys asked, the fillet of fish, my mom. Oh really?

Loves it. Your mom's a British? Your mom's a British? Your dad's staying at home. No, I will not have it. We used to go. I'm also British. We used to go, I had half Wednesdays We used to go half, I had half Wednesdays

in elementary school, so half the day. Yeah. And that was the treat my mom would take. We would go. What, is it McDonald's? Half day, all of elementary school? Yeah, every two weeks. I don't know, like, well, from grade one on,

I would go home and have lunch. Like, I was like a business woman casual. Yeah. I was so jealous, so jealous of those kids. Yeah, I lived in junior, I lived close enough to go home with them. I was right beside businesswoman casual. Yeah. I was so jealous of those kids. Yeah, I lived in junior high. I lived close enough to go home with them. I was right beside the school, literally. Yeah.

It was the best. Once high school hit, it was all 7-11 for me. Yeah, I don't think my mom liked it, though, because a couple times she came over, and she's like, why are there kids here? We just ran, sacking. There's 20 of us. We're just like, blah, blah, blah.

And Apples hung over. She'll eat a filet of fish. She loves- Apples is a person. No, it's just an apple. Just for the listener who don't know. My kryptonite is the chicken burger from McDonald's or the one that I love, Burger King, the long. I love it.

Oh, the long chicken? With like pepper on it. Just the regular? Don't they do like an Italian? No, that's not a primer song, but it's great. Just the regular don't they do like an Italian? No, that's not a Parmesan, but it's great. Just the straight-up classic. I don't know why I love it. I like it. I mean if we're going upper echelon of fast food. What is the upper? Well there's like five guys. Oh yeah. Those burgers in and out. They put

them in a Shake Shack. Yeah. I'll do that one. But just the standard Wendy's. The Wendy's Dave's Classic Double. It's cause the name. Because I love to see myself representation. Representation matters. They don't even have to ask you. Like I'll get the Dave, that's my name Dave. You just keep throwing.

The Meeple Classic Double. And then they had this one that was a chicken burger. They probably still have it. If it was with beef as well, continue. To a very animal. Yeah, they had a chicken fish beef burger. Yes, please. That's the Treducan of burgers.

There was a chicken burger with like ranch, bacon and some kind of white cheese. What was it? Like, Asiago? Sure. And it was like, you're giving me a look. At Wendy's? There's no Asiago there.

The name bread. Oh, Dave's gonna prove you wrong. All right. Well, I hope so. Wendy's, Asiago. You said it was a chicken burger? Yeah, Asiago chicken ranch and bacon. Well, it sounds classy.

It does, it's upscale. Yeah. This is a... With shredded lettuce. Oh, that, come on. I haven't had that in a few years, but... It's pretty. You could get it spicy grilled or classic.

I would always get the classic. That's what I hope I see when I look up at the Northern Lich. I hope I see that. I thought you were gonna say when you die. Yeah, that's the last thing I see before I die. That's pretty. It is pretty, you gotta admit. Right guys?

It's breathtaking. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, before I have another joke I wanna tell. Okay, here we go.

No, I don't really, but Jane was talking about how the apps, like, or people in the apps, like, are too thirsty, and like, if you don't reply, hey, haven't heard from you, what's up? Yeah. Have you ever gone to a website of a store and just like looked at a product, and then within an hour, they're emailing you,

hey, you still interested in this product? Yeah, I've had that. I hate it. And I've also had things that I've just paused on that I haven't clicked. All of a sudden becomes like every day I get the thing like, hey, hey, hey. Hey, you wanna move into an old farm? I'm like, not yet. I mean, I do.

I mean, you practically live in one year in Carisdale. I do. Well, each time they die, young people come in, so it is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you ever go to that Carousdale McDonald's? Yeah, it's the worst. Yeah? It is the worst.

They don't know what's going on. You could wait. Yeah, that's true. They take forever, and I always say no salt on the fries, so they're nice and warm. I love the idea that they don't know what's going on. What do we do? Where do we work? That is what it's like.

There's always a huge lineup. It's like I go there every day. The drive through is a disaster. It is. It's like there's a lineup in that, like it's stupid. Oh yeah, and there's people like, it's unclear how you get in the drive through. People are-

There's two high schools right by there too. You have Point Grey and then the other one on 47. Like there's, it's, and that's, they'll get so shit faced, the kids and they'll be outside just like. And this is at noon. It's just, yeah, mayhem. What about the one that's, I don't know if you've ever taken the bus out to the ferry,

but there's one that has like a stained glass. It looks like, yeah, it looks like a church. In North Van or? No, on the way to Tawason? No way. Or Tawason? On the way to Tawason, there's a stop that has this... I feel like it... It looks like a church. And somebody on the bus I was with was like, it's not a church.

I'm like, yeah, because it's got M on it. It might be the only one like it. Is it this? This is a Reddit post. The McDonald's near my house has a really cool stained wax. It could be. Stained wax wanoa. That's where I'm getting married

because of the stained glass. There's a lot of really cool stained glass McDonald's stuff actually if you Google it. Yeah, I want you to get one of those Pizza Hut lamps. The world's most beautiful McDonald's. Do you remember that Pizza Hut back in the day was like Monday or Tuesday, it was all you could eat. Do you guys remember?

Yeah, we'll go to the Pizza Hut thing. Darcy worked at one, right? Is that what we talked about last time? He used to work at a Pizza Hut. Yes, in North Van. Yeah. Like we literally realized after when we became friends that we knew each other.

Oh really? You went to a Pizza Hut, you had all you had it all you I go there every week again no we were on the same swim team and different like oh it was weird yes were you um West fan or North fan? North fan. Cool. But yeah. Nice. I wish. Where can you get all you can eat anything now guys? Oh, huh. Whatever it is is not. It's good. Although it's good, but it's bread. Like they're trying to fill you up.

There isn't all you can eat. I think it's Tuesday or Monday, taco place in Vancouver. Yeah. Yeah. Wonder how many I can eat. I was thinking that and I'd like to do it. I think I would probably tap out at five would be my. But the really small ones you could do more

Like the tiny tiny tiny tiny. Let's do it. Like if it's the tiny tiny ones how many still be under 10? I think I could probably do nine. There's according to this post. There's Some Indian ones there are some oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a pretty good one Some hot pot places are all you can eat. Rio Brazilian Steakhouse. Ooh, as many steaks as you like. And of course, Uncle Willie's. Uncle Willie's, what are they, the burger? Is it Pierogies?

No, Uncle Willie's is like. But there's P&E. No, it's like, there's one by Metro Town. It's like classic salad bar, all you can eat. Like Bonanza. I Remember, but you remember bonanza. Oh look at me Do you Dave though? No, there's one in North Van We would take the bus and had a salad bar you get a burger with fries classic like good shitty one Salad bar and then just ice cream in oh god. Yeah, I

I went to bonanza when I was a kid. They had it in Calgary. Did you love it? I loved all of it. Anytime we were eating outside of the house. It was the best. It was the best. It was like once a year. Growing up in Vancouver,

I had very little occasion to go to North Van or any suburbs. I get it, because you were she-she. Because I was she-she. The only times I went to the suburbs were like- You told your parents, oh, I went to Bonanza, you are grounded. If we had like a year, a soccer or hockey game.

And those kids were gross. And the kids, we would go lose in a different suburb. Because, you know, not good. I remember when I was a kid, sometimes another school would want to beat up people from your school, but they have to meet in some kind of like you couldn't go to the school that was. Let's get drunk and meet at the Carousel McDonald. Yeah.

But I remember having to meet like at a central field or something like that in order and then you know, a lot of people said they were going to show up, didn't show up. We just watched a movie that was shot at the, is it Point Grey right next to it? So much. Yeah. Was it with your kids? Yeah, it was, oh yeah, I remember it was,

to all the girls I've loved before. 100%. To all the boys I've loved before, sorry. Did you what? Have I watched it? Yes, I'm deep into teenage rom-coms. Yeah. And she looks down her nose on just like that.

Well, you know what? The dad from To All The Boys I Love Before, it's Aiden from Sex and the City. I love him from back in the day. What was it? What was he in? Northern exposure. Northern exposure, right. He's in the new one.

Just like that? Yeah. My niece was there. She has no idea who it I'm like he's on it. Oh god Oh god, it was like I was orgasm in front of her. Yeah And yet when I do that in front of my nieces, I'm not welcome at Christmas anymore All of our childhood heroes are parents on TV shows. Oh my God, that's just something the natural thing.

Alicia Silverstone is on the babysitter's club. I remember Luke Perry made an appearance on Riverdale. Riverdale, that's right. He was one of the... He was on it for a bit. Yeah. Yeah, he was like Jughead's dad? Something like that, yeah.

Yeah. Skeet Ulrich was on there as well. Oh yeah, Skeet Ulrich. Oh yeah. That show rocked. It did and I watched probably three episodes and then. Of 21? Of, no, the Riverdale.

I did 21 jumps, Riverdale, okay. Okay. I did 21 jump streets. You really did quite a jump there. Because he was supposed to, Ski was supposed to be the next Johnny Depp back in the day. Yeah, yeah. And then just.

So here's- Feedered out. How dare you? Here's a couple of things going on with me. One, I had a boring dream. Oh yes, this is my favorite. So I famously have very boring dreams. Okay.

I had a, so I like, my most famous boring dream is I had kind of like a, it was a crisis. In my dream I was like, what am I gonna do? And the dream was that my travel agent was retiring. It still makes me laugh every time I hear it. It's also the funniest thing in the world because I'm like, they still exist for what reason?

Oh, well, they know how to like consolidate your points. They can get things done. I do have one in real life. Do you? Yeah. What? Lily. Oh, shit. When you woke up, were you feeling like anxious or were you just like bored?

When I woke up, I was relieved. I was like, okay, there's no way Lily's really retiring. So yeah, another one he had was, even our friends were gathered around trying to fix a garage door. Yeah, it wasn't my friends. It was just some men. That sounds about right.

It was not friends whatsoever. I don't think so. But that part's the best. Yeah. And then the one I had the other day was I had a dream that a song that I was written, the song that I had written was featured in a Wes Anderson movie. No, that's pretty good.

That's not boring. But here's the thing. The plot of the dream was, that's the thing that had happened, but I wasn't getting any royalties for it because I hadn't filled out the paperwork. So I had to fill out all this paperwork. I didn't realize that I feel like I'm a dream expert.

These dreams are all like anxiety underneath. Sure. Like that would be like, that's not boring. That's like, huh. It is. It's but it's like, I agree that these are things that. If you had a song and Wes entered, come on. But it's the filling out

the paperwork I know that's anxiety it was like it's not too late to get royalties for it even though the old ones well you have to do is fill this out and I'll fill it out later that's the problem that's right yeah filling out forms a weak point Odie dodey's don't you day do you remember dreams? Yeah, yeah, I mean, sometimes I, the weird thing that I have is reoccurring locations. There's the same house that I'm in all the time. There's a store that I'm frequenting. There's a street that it's, but it's all the same every dream. It's like dying that it just seems like it's you walking around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see you just like grocery shopping. That's your dream. like you're just dreaming, like your mundane stuff, you do between other stuff, you, oh, gotta go get food. But do you ever have that where you like have the same- I never have the same location. Oh, I do have one dream that I'm at, I think I'm in Jane's house,

cause I know it's hers, cause there's no door on the bedroom. Ha ha ha, yes! Oh my God, why- The classic Santa. Call back of my parents punishing me. Taking your door off. Blinds as well. You're forgetting that aspect.

Blinds. Blinds. Wow. Like you would get in trouble with blinds? Because I kept changing. There was a crowd outside. No. I think they did that for, they read, it was a book that they were like, take the blinds

off. That sucks. And then- That does suck. The door, but yeah. This is why I don't read books. So I don't read good. So that was one thing. The other thing that's going on is,

have you seen the new Final Destination movie? No, but I can't wait. It is blowing up. It is blowing up, and there's one thing. Are you in it? No. Well- I would have loved it.

You're the first murder. So apparently, it's not murders, right? It's like deaths. Yeah, it's like, you know, crazy. From the ads, it seems like mishaps. Yeah, that's the whole movie, that the whole series is like. Yes.

Sam Easton was one. I was just gonna say it. White cheddar, you're welcome. So apparently, according to this post on Reddit, there is a, someone's got like a board where they're trying to like figure out the deaths. I thought you meant on Reddit. I'm like, fucking just watch the movie, you idiot.

Yeah. Yeah. But there's a, like this is the board and they've got all these things connected. Like seven, the movie, continue. Yeah, it's, and some of the names, you won't, I don't know if you'll be able to see it from this picture, it's pretty low res,

but someone went and wrote down all the names that are- Oh, I love that. And here are two of the names on the list. Graham Schumke. And Dave Clark. And Alicia Schumke. And Alicia Schumke! Oh, it's my dream coming true.

We're on the same house we're always in. Siblings. You're my sibling. Oh, that's so good. By the way, this was posted on Reddit by an account name, cuminspector2. It's hard when you started accruing, you know, Reddit points. Okay, I literally was like, oh my god, Graham's gonna die before this episode comes out. Because it first sees like that's the whole point of the movie, right?

Like don't you see the future or something like that and then everyone dies? Usually one person can see the future and then they are the one that hits everybody too. This you know and it's all things like that like a board will fall down and then. It's the roller coaster. This is apparently Alicia Shumka and this is apparently Graham Shumka. You can barely make it out but I can tell it's these two. That's so funny. Weird. Weird, weird, weird.

So someone maybe someone involved with the movie listens maybe the art department. Art department, weird. So someone, maybe someone involved with the movie listens, maybe the art department. Art department, yeah. I don't think, I don't think that we're actual characters or Graham, I don't think Graham Shumka appears. Just, but you know, in the first one. What you're telling me is you haven't seen all the final destination movies. I'll tell you how many I've seen.

It rhymes with zero. Hero, okay. Yeah, I've seen hero of them. Oh, you guys ever get a nice little G-ro? Oh, the best. G-ro, gyro, you know, G-ro. Yeah, I've seen all of them and I plan to go see it because I've never seen one of them in the theater. I bet you there are a lot of fun. You got to do it in the theater. Yeah, definitely wait like three or four weeks so it's not full of people having fun.

I just don't understand. How is it blowing up? Isn't this like, I don't know, 15? It's been a slow month. It's six. Oh, okay. The sixth one and apparently there was like a big break after the fifth one. Yeah.

Like they had tied up the series looped on itself and that was the end of it. Nope, not at all. Did you ever audition for any of those? I wish I had. Yeah? No. Die in a tiny bed? That was one of them.

That was one of them. Yeah, yeah. That would be, I used to go in tanning beds when I was younger because I was an idiot. What for, when? How younger? A year ago. Would you smoke in them? Yeah, I'd smoke.

You think this looks cool, Jane, being in this UV bed? Bray, how'd you get in here? Who let you in Fabu-tan? My favorite with the tanning place is no matter what, you're going to have a dude in there working that's crazy just leather face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, hey, how's it going? Leather face from Texas Janes in Alaska.

And he smokes for sure. Sure. And maybe could have been on the radio. Do you remember Tan Mom? No. Oh, yes. What? She was a person, not a place.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, Tan Mom sounds like a tanning bed that's just for moms. No. Tan Mom was a woman who, I guess, was criticized online for putting her, like, six-year-old in a tanning bed. What? And the woman herself was, like, a white lady with the brownest skin.

So, yeah, just like... And like the, sort of like, white butthole lips. She bleached them. And she, and then she put up a, she, put out a song with like, I'm the tan mom. I just almost messed my drink. Well, the kid part I'm still like, I'm the tan mom. I love that she bought her own tanning bed. Patricia Grintz.

Oh my God. This is amazing. There we go. Oh my God, this is amazing. There we go. Oh my God. Well, how old was she there? 22. She looks okay.

See the white lips. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. But she looks okay now if that's a word. Oh, okay. That's a lot. Oh, where's the kid?

That's what I wanted. That is the kid. This is my daughter. Because that was the thing, right? Like that's why she's tan mom. Oh, where's the kid? That's what I wanted. That is the kid. Was it the- This is my daughter. Cause that was the thing, right? Like that's why she's tan mom. That's why we learned of her.

Cause her child was tanning. This is probably, and how long ago was this? 20 years. This is my favorite of back then, but it would still happen now where someone's like, I'm gonna let people know why I put my kid. This will like, I'm gonna blow up. I'm gonna be popular. Everyone's like, what'm gonna let people know why I put my kid. This will like, I'm gonna blow up, I'm gonna be popular.

Everyone's like, what the fuck are you doing? It was before, well, it was early internet. It was before social media. So it was like, you would see a clip of this like inside edition story of this mom. Yeah, and everybody knew it. But now it's all like that. But she thought it'd be okay.

She thought that putting her kid in a tanning booth. Yeah. Yeah. She was that putting her kid in a tanning bed. Yeah. Yeah. She was not well in the head. She had fried her own brain on tanning bed. That was like the mom that gave her kid ginger ale. Did you guys ever read that article? And then trying to sue Canada Dry

because she gave her kid, I don't know how many ginger ales a day because she thought it was actual ginger in the ginger ale and the kid just got fat Yeah, sure. Sure suing. Well, someone sued them for not having actual ginger in it because they claimed to yeah And he won I think yeah that brought the suit. It was me. Uh, do you guys remember balloon boy? Yeah, that was that was the octo mom He was another.. Oh yeah, all those. What happened to her?

Her kids are all grown up. I've seen a photo. Oh, and then like John and Kate plus eight was around that time. And hairdo. Oh, that hairdo. I don't even know how people were like, this is the new Jennifer Aniston.

I'm like, it shouldn't be. It shouldn't, this is, it was, wasn't it like short on one side and a little bit like really, really short? Spiky in the back. Spiky in the back that you just got off and you're like, I couldn't do it. And I was just like, oh, or you got fucked.

Like that's the hair. And then a little bit below the earlobe and then really short on the one side of like, Yeah, yeah. I kinda. I'm fancy. Look at me. I tried to get the Jennifer Aniston haircut, but my hairstylist was talking me out of it

because it would be Rachel appropriation. What's going on with you? Nice, nice, good one. Well, as you were on so many episodes ago, I listened to the very first appearance of Great Saturday Dose. Is it the one that has made some notes? Oh my, no.

Is it the one that just has a drone the whole time of, errrr. Yeah, there was something underneath. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what, maybe for, before this comes out, I'll try to correct that. Let's correct that in the old episode. So here we go, this is episode number three.

You were working as a flower delivery person, you recall. With Jai Harris, was he also doing it? Jai Harris was also. Well, no, he didn't do it. That's why I would make money. But like a lot of comedians did it, right? Oh, no.

Just you. Greg Kettner. Blue. You guys are killing me. But Jai always would like text me at like four, I can't make it because he was like partying or something. Sure. Anyways, continue to go.

That's crazy. Nat. Um, in the Get to Know Us segment, Dave's Get to Know Us was that you had asparagus and it smelled funny. Katie. No. Nat. So we were three episodes in and I was out of things to talk about? It smelled funny when? Dave. Also, were you a six-year-old? Nat. No, I would never eat asparagus as a six-year-old. Dave. Um, oh, I liked it when it was like little trees.

I liked that they look like- Oh yeah. I liked broccoli because it looked like little trees. Broccoli, yeah, broccoli. Broccoli's delicious. Of course, the infamous milkshake. At the time- Was it that episode?

Yeah, and we thought it was last. It was my first time doing it? No! We started- I didn't even know! We had a pre-show milkshake? Yes, it was your old place. It was upstairs and the worst part, I remember telling Darcy afterwards, haven't even, I didn't even know. We had a pre-show milkshake. Yes, it was your old place.

It was upstairs and the worst part, I remember telling Darcy afterwards, I'm like, you guys are like, I'm like, I have to go to the washroom and you guys still, I think Abby was there, you guys are like, do do do, talking, I'm like, can you guys go away? I can't, like, get the fuck out of here. But at the time, we thought as a group of detectives

that it was lactose. You guys kept saying it. I'm like, no. But if you, I mean, if Jane was lactose intolerant, she would've been like, I'm not sure about this milkshake. Well, cause it was, I was so excited. I used to have, it's probably why I'm stealing

like quick milkshakes all the time. And when you said it, I'm like, yes. And you didn't have kids at the time too. I was like, oh my God, you have quick, like, I just hadn't seen it. I was so, I was like, oh, yes. They got it anticipated one day they'll have children. Oh yeah, I was like, no, I was thinking

I was pretty mature at the time. Wait, what did I talk about again? Your V, my smell like asparagus. Smelly pee pee. At one point I made a joke about a musician, Jeff Healy, who had just died the week before. Oh, blind blues man. Yeah, it was, now we can laugh at it now.

It's so much fun. I think probably at the time we laughed, cause this was a mean time in comedy. That's true, it was one of the meaner times. We talked about a business called Tootaloot, which was a loot bag company that you would hire. It still exists. I know, it's the biggest company in the world.

I was an early investor and now I'm a billionaire. What is this company? It's a company that makes loot bags for clients. For parties? Yeah, for like- Like kids parties or for like, remember. Like a comedy festival, you gotta.

Yeah, I think more like that. I just got a stupid. Your swag bag. You're talking like, yeah, like when you were leaving a party, I just got it for a stupid wedding shower. Yeah. And I was like, opened it up, it's a foot, like get rid of the dead skin shaver.

Yeah. And then a bookmark. Hey, when you shave your feet and get rid of the dead skin, shaver. Yeah. And then a bookmark. Hey, when you shave your feet and get rid of the dead skin, you save that skin? For a rainy day? Yeah. Oh, I thought you said, do I say dead skin? That's why I looked at you.

I'm like, I don't know. Do you save the skin? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's in a mason jar. I drink it with my own urine. So this is tutolootz.com, right? What the hell? This is tutolootz.

This is not still a thing. Instagram.com slash tutolootz. I'm not logged in. So this is to the lutes calm right this is to the loot this is not still Instagram comms last to the lutes I'm not logged in and it is calm. I checked it out. It's still still with us to the lutes calm I'm weirded out with the internet that it's still happening. Yeah, I was kind of too as I was like, oh, that's funny I wonder what that was because I thought it was I mean Like if you expect something from the internet in 2008 to be gone by now, what does that say about us? That's true, yeah, impermanence really. What?

Anyways, we made fun of Tootloots.com. As we should have. Invested, Dave was right. Oh, so back in the day, and this is something that doesn't exist anymore, we were talking about how movies that came out in the theater were edited to be on airplanes. Oh, yeah. This was before it became like all action, everything all.

Like no sex and stuff like that? Yeah, no sex. No sex. Yeah, because it's now and it's weird. You have a kid behind you and I'm watching a porno. How does the thing and I'm not gonna be able to finish it within the time. But they do, yeah, it used to be like, well, I mean,

I remember the times when everyone would watch one movie. Oh my God. And that would be either like on one central screen. It's where I first saw Mr. Bean. Oh, it's perfect for that. And then also the, then they would just play one movie on everyone's individual screens. Or there was the one that was like every six, two, up above. And it would suck if it was like, you're like in between that you're like, I can't see this.

Do you guys remember the old school headphones? Yeah, they had like a stethoscope kind of thing. Yeah, and they had the double plug. I bought them every time. I have 55 pairs. Well, they had like a stethoscope. Yeah, and they had the double. I bought them every time. I have 55 pairs. Well, back then everything was free. Yeah, everything we got was free. A blanket even.

We didn't know how good we had it. Because I think there was more leg room. You got a pillow. Yeah, that's right. You would get a pillow, just complimentary pillows, sometimes a blanket. If you ask for a blanket, they give it to you. In a package. Now it's not in a package. It's just loose.

The guy that he just had it, he had COVID. Do you want it? Back then it was so nice. You'd be like, my girlfriend and I would like to join the Mile High Club. And they'd be like, right this way, sir. There was a fold down bed in there. Also it should be, which you couldn't remember the word for a Murphy bed. So you called it a coffin bed

We talked about how that's where Dracula sleeps in his apartment Dracula's got a studio apartment It's really expensive rent Transylvania the condo market in Transylvania is crazy and We were talking about two shows that were from the CBC. You care to guess. Oh, okay, J-Pod? J-Pod was one of them, yeah.

Oh, and- Being Erica? No, but you're thinking of the right thing, but it's not being Erica. Oh, God, was it? Quantum light. Don't tell me, who? Yeah, yeah, give us a hint. It was a gal from advertisements

that we all kind of knew her What she was she in? What was she in the Bailey's ad or is that being Erica? No, she was in the Bailey's ad you were just gonna look it up. No, no, no, what's the show about? No, no, no, no, slow down. Slow down. Slow down. No hints yet. Yeah Oh, I sweat a lady from a commercial series or like a lot of commercials this hour 22 yet. Yeah. Oh, I sweat. So a lady from a commercial. Series are like a lot of commercials. This hour is 22 minutes. Yep, that was it.

It was our commercial. It's not Levi McDougal's Rogers commercials campaign. I love Levi. Was Jason Brydon in the show? He was in J-Pod. No, he was in? He wasn't. Commercials. He was in commercials.

No, he was in like two TV shows around this time as well. That's right. Oh, was J. Baruchel in this show? Mm, I don't remember. I mean the- Comedy? What? Was it a comedy show? It was a comedy, I think, yeah. A CBC- You think?

Well, I just wrote down the name of it, I don't know. Is it the name of like a street? No. Coronation Street? It's a name, person's name. Oh. Person's name. Let's a name, person's name. Oh. Person's name.

Let's start with A's, Dave. And it was, the person's name is the main character. Yes. And they are the person from the commercial. Yes. And the commercial- Erika Bean? Yeah, it was Erika Bean.

Was it? Oh, okay. And were the commercials for something uniquely Canadian? Oh, that's a really good question. Possibly, I don't, I just remember like seeing her everywhere in the show and I was like, hmm? Jeremiah? Joey, who, Joey Jeremiah?

It was, there was a show called Jeremiah. No, it wasn't. It's a woman's name. It's a woman's name. Uh, boy. Kate Plus Eight? The kink in my hair? It was the, yeah, it was a train 47 or whatever.

Yeah. More clue now. Um, it's starts with an S and, uh, we'll. Nope. Uh, what was the, do you remember what the commercials were for? No, but I think you're right about the Bailey's one. I think that was Aaron Karpluk from being Erica. Oh, yeah.

Not in a base. Bailey's. Okay. I'm friends with her. Yeah, I text her Bailey's commercial. She's like, yeah, I'm like, damn it. I'm not sure what the premise is, but I think was it Evangeline Lily from the local chat line commercial that she used to be on?

No, this either- Live links? Was Being Erica about time travel? Yeah. So this was about a woman who goes to therapy. Being therapa. That was kind of- You nailed it.

This is about, oh, is it Nancy Robertson? No. Because she was in a... Hiccups? Hiccups, yeah. Suzy? I don't even know if saying it will... if you remember it. I don't want you to say it still.

This is the funnest game in a while I've played. Yeah, could you remember this? Like if there was a game show that was just naming one season's CBC sitcoms. Oh, you could have 30 seasons of that. Yeah. I mean, it's not a one season one, but. It's S.O. S. The person's name starts with an S.O.

Yeah. Sonya. Nope. It's the name of somebody we all know. Sorority Jones. Was the name of my we all know. Sorority Jones. Was the name of my dog when I was a kid. Sophie. Yes, Sophie was the name of the show.

Sombra. Who was Sophie? She was, yeah, she was one of these, for a while she was in every commercial, and I think I had a crush on her. And then she got her own show on the Seab. Yeah, her. I can't see this.

Can you bring the screen over? Yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She was like, she was totally in ads at the time. And oh, we can watch the newest episode. Yeah. What? I don't know this at all. Starring Natalie Brown. Natalie Brown. No.

Hmm. I don't know what commercials she was in, but according to you, listen to the episodes as she must have been. We talked about this? Yeah. You watched it? No, we kind of mentioned it in passing. Um, cause I didn't watch J-Bugger.

Look at her new nose. She's got a new nose. Okay, come on. She ordered a new nose. People can do whatever they want mentioned it in passing. Because I didn't watch J. Look at her new nose. She's got a new nose. OK, come on. She ordered a new nose. People can do whatever they want with their bodies. Whatever they want with their noses.

She was in a commercial for Bailey's Irish Cream. Yeah, there we go. Ceylon Selectives, Canada Post and Yo Play. I love that you went on this and not IMDB. Well, they don't want to have commercials on IMDB. Yeah. Oh, you're right. OK, good one. OK, and there't want to have commercials on IMDB. Yeah. Ooh, you're right. Okay, good one.

Okay, and there was- Sorry to Erin Carpluck, you weren't in a Bailey's Irish Cream commercial. She probably was, she did. I remember this commercial, it's the one where the drop of Bailey's falls on Sophie's tongue there. Yeah.

Like she has her mouth open? Yeah, I don't, yeah. I mean, it was- Like she wanted it. No, I don't mouth open. Yeah. I don't yeah, I mean it was she wanted it She's like outside party and just like ha I kind of lounge party. Yes, that's weird. Okay. I Don't remember the show at all. Do you know but I think it was yeah here we go remember the show at all? Do you? No, but I think it was, yeah, here we go. This is the cat. Oh my god!

Oh, Spilly's. I do remember. I love that they're like, no. Sense of loss? Oh, yeah. Oh, and here comes the hero. Sense of duty. Oh my god.

It's a guy. No! No! He's going to wipe her dress. And he's hesitating. Her boob area. She's like, gives him the hayla. You gonna wipe her dress and hes hesitating. Her boob area. She's like gives him the... Hey you can wipe my dress.

Baileys. Oh! That's a sense of adventure. Responsibly. Baileys. Everybody there is drinking Baileys. Also, diarrhea. That's what you should call it.

That's because you're lactose intolerant. That was the craziest ads too, just like a lot of miming, like, ooh, sense of sex. Like, that was crazy. Adventure. It was a different time. I love like it's on her tits, sense of adventure. Yeah, wiping a woman's, wiping Bailey's off a woman's tit. Maybe that's, I'm into adventure movies.

What do you like, Raiders of the Lost Ark? No, I like into adventure movies. What do you like, Raiders of the Lost Ark? No, I like Wipin' Bailey's Off. Also, I hate commercials, but that, old school commercials, that was so bad, it was great. If you go on YouTube and you can just like look up whatever, a city and a year, and they'll show you two hours of local TV and- Yes.

Oh, okay, and now I know what I'm doing for the next month. I watched a documentary about a woman who recorded everything that was on TV. She had different TVs for different stations. And she- On like a VHS or VEDA? On a VHS, yeah.

And she caught like events that there's never been video of before because it just happened on TV and nobody recorded it. So it's just like this whole history of like kind of the early 80s to the early 90s yeah did you have a sense of adventure wink okay they're also back in the day they used to be a bar called the media club yeah and you had a very funny experience ordering a drink at the media club. Okay. I saw many shows at the media club.

Yeah, we were talking about shows that we did there. I just did a new show recently there. I hate it. I was like, why'd you- Is it still there? Yeah, it's like Browns-esque. Is it named- It's not called the media club. Was it named that because it was close to-

Ventura Room now. All the like, the railway club was for, you had to sign in, it was originally for members of the railway. Right. And like the Marine Club was for Marines. The Alibi Room used to be the police club. All the clubs were like,

and so I guess the media club was actually a club for the media back in the day. And they're right close to the CBC building. I guess so, yeah. I saw a bunch of shows there. So many. Did a bunch of shows there. And the stage used to be at the back,

and now it's like by the street. And they make drinks during the show, which is always great. They did that back in the day, too. No, they do it now, too. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, they- Like, tradition.

Not to ruin the illusion of standup comedy, but you're there to sell drinks. No. What about the media club? What were you talking about? What was my drink I ordered? So you were there with Abby. She got just a Coke with ice in it,

and they served you a beer with ice in it. Oh, okay. And you were like, what the hell? But you know what? I was probably just pretending to be a snob. I would I love that. I've done that in the last year. Oh, I love it. Maybe this is where you got your first taste. Like I think in the summertime, if I'm like, Oh, shit, I forgot to cool down my beer. Hmm. Put some ice in it. Why not? Trying to get it into my body. Ice in a drink is great. And at one point, a quote that you had,

because Jane and I think at the time, you ran like, quarter-eye back in that, was it that long ago? Maybe, yeah. I ran the laugh gallery and we were talking about it. You still keep in touch with the quarter-eye? No. Oh, they were an anti-vaxxer?

Oh, hard. During the COVID, they were the, sort of like the biggest, loudest, we're staying open, you don't need your vax card to come here. They had 70, that place held 45 people, if even, and they would do like, on their stories of everyone like, ah! Like, it was New Year's. Open mouth piercing. I found the cops, I found the cops on them numerous times.

But Dave at some point said, yeah, I'm looking at the starting room. Sounds very rewarding. When people do weekly, even now, I don't know how I did quarter. I did it for four or five years. I don't know how I did that. Like, weekly is dumb. And because it comes around so fast. No, it's dumb. It's just a lot of work. And then my favorite is when- I don't even think people should have weekly podcasts.

No, you shouldn't. Dumb, both of you. Also, like Marin. Oh yeah. RIP his mom. When people do a monthly show, and they'll be like, yeah, it's our year-end, and I'm like, it's 12 shows, fuck off.

And also when it's like every third Thursday of the month. We've done it a year, we've done eight shit, fuck off. And then an interesting one, because we've always said that at some point we said that we record 1200 shows. We said that, like, you said that in the first minute of the first episode, I think. To our note, 1800 is what we actually said. Really? Yeah. So we. Well on that episode but maybe on episode one we said 1200 because that's what everyone is pointed to. Right. And so that would be another six years. Yes and. Another if it was 1800 we'd have to double what we're doing now. Yikes. Yikes. And how many

years has that been? I guess 2008, so we're 17 in a bit. Yeah, we're a surly teen right now. Yeah, able to drive, but not able to vote. Where do you see yourself in 17 years? Dead. Dead in the ground, yeah, dead in the ground. I was like, dead. Yeah, so that's some notes I took from the...

Well, thanks for doing the research. That was great. Yeah, really a throwback. Man, just the fact that there was the media club mentioned and they were just like, ugh. Was your voice higher? Yes, yeah, I think, yours was too, I think. I think I may have been.

But we were recording on glass cylinder, wax cylinder. That's right. And you had to, you know, it's downloadable now, but you used to have to crank. You used to have to crank it. I mean, I still have to crank it. Do you guys wanna move on to to some over herds? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, everybody. It's Ellen Weatherford. And Christian Weatherford. People say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.

But we can judge a snake by its ability to fly, or a spider by its ability to dive. Or a dung snake by its ability to fly, or a spider by its ability to dive. Or a dung beetle by its ability to navigate with the starlight of the Milky Way galaxy. On Just the Zoo of Us, we rate our favorite animals out of ten in the categories of physical effectiveness, behavioral ingenuity, and of course, aesthetics. Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, musicians, comedians, and more join us to share their unique insights into the animal kingdom.

Listen with the whole family on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. The wizards answer eight by eight. The cornclaves call to demonstrate their arcane gift, their single spell. They number sixty-four until a conflagration. Sixty-three and sixty-two they soon shall be, As one by one the wizards die, Till one remains to reign on high. Join us for Taz Royale, an oops all wizards Battle Royale season of the Adventure Zone,

every other Thursday on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Overheard. Overheard is a segment where we share. We love to share. Sharing is what we're all about. It's things that we've heard out there in the world. Jane, would you lead us off with an overheard? Okay. I will.

I was at a wedding shower and there's quite a few people there. It's the first time ever I felt like I was, uh, maybe an adult, like I, I still think I'm sometimes 16 or 32 and, uh, the younger ladies who are like 25, they were going out afterwards and it was a Sunday night and they're like, yeah, well, it's a surprise where we're taking the person getting married and, oh, where are you going?

Are you going to the Roxy? Yeah, we're going to the Roxy. Of course. And it's a surprise where we're taking the person getting married and, oh, where are you going? Are you going to the Roxy? Yeah, we're going to the Roxy. Of course. And it's cowboy night. In my head I went, didn't used to be cowboy night though. And they're like, it's gonna be good. Last time a friend of mine went and the Canucks were there. Some of the Canucks go?

Oh my God. And then I'm getting closer and closer dying not to say anything. They're like, oh, the Canucks go there. Why do they even go there? There's so many places other to go. Probably they get free drinks and I then add it and pussy. And they literally were like so mad at me, but I was like, wrong crowd, but I loved it.

But also they were like, but they go. I'm like, what I just said, free pussy. They're like. Wow, wow, Jane. They still go there, how weird is that? Do they really? post. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Jane. They still like, they still go there. How weird is that? Do they really?

Yes. Well, yeah. Any- Do I still go there too? Yes. Waiting? Club in Canada, when professional hockey players show up, the status of every other man in the club goes down and those, the hockey players are immediately the center of

oh god yeah and there was a documentary I watched about how sports stars don't know how to handle their money and all the strippers said it was always football players because they were the only people that had their mask or the face covered during a game so they wanted to prove like hey we're the big football players and hockey now too though, really? Uh, no, you know, hockey players face. I remember I see pictures of them. But as I know, with skates on a little goalie mask appearing over

in my head, I went Kelly Rudy. David, you have an over? I love that you, in my head I went, Kelly Rudy? Kelly Rudy? Kelly Rudy. Oh. David, do you have an over-word? Kelly Rudy was a goalie, and he famously wore a, like a headband under his goalie mask as well, because he was like one of the first guys to wear contact lenses. Oh, really?

The sweat would get in his eyes, and so he wore a headband. But he would wear his goalie mask and have like the- The long hair coming out. But also like it wasn't like a- Wasn't like a mullet? No, no. Oh, it was a mullet, I saw it in person.

But he had like his- At the rugs. His headband was the kind you tied on and so like the little ribbon would be hanging out the back. Ah, that's not a bad claim to fame as they go. I was one of the first to wear contact lenses playing hockey. I mean, I don't know how true that is. But this was back before, you know,

contact lenses were everywhere. Yeah, and you would like, one would come out and everyone would be like, stop, this guy lost his contact lens. Stop the game. And now you have them and you throw them away after a day. Now you have an overheard. I suppose I do.

Mine's more of an overseen. So I went to your 24 hour show. You did great by the way. I was watching like a stalker. Yeah, go. Did you do any writing? I had stuff that it was, cause it was gonna come that I had in my head that,

but go, go your story. Why didn't you go? I, go your story. Go. Why didn't you go? I'll tell you later. Go. I gotta leave right after this recording, so tell me now. No.

No. So I was there, and afterwards Alicia was like, hey, do you wanna go for ice cream after this? And I was like, yes. And we managed to get a crew of some of the writers who all came along with us. And it was me and Alicia and Kelly Ogmanson, Kyle Fiennes, all past guests and Kyle Fiennes' wife,

never been on the pod, not allowed. Aaron, very, very cool lady. I'm laughing at Dave's not allowed. I'm like, whoa, what happened there? And we, Alicia had heard of this ice cream place in Gastown and we went and it was, it's a French place. It's called like something chocolatier. Oh yeah, yeah. And it's all just soft serve that they dip

in different chocolate. Oh, sounds great. It does sound great. soft serve that they dip in different chocolate. Oh, sounds great. It does sound great. I got the one that was like the hazelnut and I was expecting it to be like, oh, you're dipping it in Nutella or whatever. It wasn't great.

And the ice cream itself was pretty flavorless. And then the toppings were kind of overpowering. So even when you get through the toppings, you just have vanilla ice cream and it wasn't as good as like the great Dairy Queen. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, so we were there and we were eating our ice cream and then afterwards,

and it was just like, the cones are so big and you kinda need a spoon to eat the cone as well. What is it dip did it do go hard or was it still like a Dairy Queen one almost? Yeah dip cone. Situation right? Yeah I wanted to go when you first said it and then when you said that I went no. I'll go back to DQ. Yeah thank you very much.

Yeah well. Nice and cheap too. This seems like it would be expensive. I don't know Alicia paid for me. Oh, that's nice. But these were huge cones and like Madonna's outfit. That was already there. And so we ate ours and then we said goodbye. And as we were leaving, a couple left the place

and got on a motorcycle, and they had these giant ice cream cones. But then the guy got on the front of the motorcycle and gave his to the girl, and she was on the back of the motorcycle, and they rode off, and she's just holding these two melting ice cream cones. You can't eat them because you got the helmet on.

Yeah, yeah, where were they going? And they were stuck in traffic. Like we caught up to them and other people were laughing at them because she also can't hold on to him now. That's everything. I'd be eating both. Ah, I gotta save these, not myself.

Yeah, heavenly plan. Yeah, that was our overseen. Also just finish it. Yeah Yeah, helly plan. Yeah, that was our overseen. Also just finish it. Yeah. Like 10 minutes max. You're not gonna get a ticket for your motorcycle? Yeah, what the hell? What the hell?

Now this is just coincidence, but my overheard is also from the world of Dairy Queen. I went to Dairy Queen yesterday, by the way. And delicious. It was good. What'd you get? Hot dog? I got a mint Oreo Blizzard. I had just gone to Nat's New York style pizzeria in Kinsalano, the place that is famous because

Ryan Reynolds loves it. Yep. Yep. Because everyone who went to Kits High School went there for lunch all the time. And while I was in there, two dudes were like, talking to the guy behind the counter. And they're like, you got a lot of Ryan Reynolds stuff in here.

And the guy behind the counter was like, well, you know, he used to come here all the time. Whoa, really? They were like tourists. Give us the, just give us the slice he used to like. So he was in, we're in Dairy Queen. Well, he likes the Tim Hortons egg and scramble, scramble slice. But we were in, Sally and I were in the Dairy Queen and just ordered.

Which one? One on Main Street. Oh, it's a good one. And we got blizzards and the second we were done, we were like, oh, we'll eat them in here. The guy from behind the counter turned the lights off. He said, we're closed now. It was 6.02 PM. And the store is closed.

What? Yeah, and we had to all leave. But he was still serving like it was gonna be open for an hour or whatever. They do close a bit early. That one is really early. I feel like it's almost 9 PM. The wedding kits is open till four in the morning.

Ah, shoulda gone there. I think so, weirdly. Yeah, like it's almost 9 p.m. The wedding kit is open till four in the morning. Ah, I should have gone there. I think so, weirdly. Yeah, I'm gonna get that delivered. Yeah. Are you not scared getting that with peanuts and whatnot? Like the cross- Whoa. Sorry. The cross-contamination? I mean, look, you know, you gotta turn the light somewhere.

You're like, Jane, you love peanuts. Yeah, exactly. Gotta- It was delicious. Also, I didn't realize, their outdoor trash can, they bring it inside at night because I guess people would throw it around. Well, there's bears as well. Is it on a tree? Oh, there's bears, that's true.

Made street bears. No, like they put it inside at the end of the night. Like the, just the can can, not like the dumpster. No, not the, takes up the dumpster. No, not the... Takes up the whole restaurant. You walk in every time. It smells in here. Yeah, we accidentally smashed the front window with a dumpster.

And we also have overheards from people all over the map. If you want to send one in, you can send it into sbyatmaximumfun.org. What are the other good Dairy Queens? Well, the one in Dunbar is quite good. Yeah. Caristdale. Yeah, where's the Caristdale? Is that a-

Right by me. But that's an Orange Julius one as well? Slash, yeah. Yeah, what do we think about that? Chat? I love Orange Julius. The thought of it, the taste of it, 10 minutes later, I'm having a meeting.

Yeah, yeah. It is one of those like, yeah, no. I don't think it should exist outside of a mall. 100%. Fair enough, yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, there's one on Robson that's a slash. The slash?

Yeah. And of course there's a good one on Fraser in 40 seconds. Yeah, that's a good one. I didn't know all this stuff, you're killing me. I have one more overheard, but I can do it after. Let's go. Okay. Yeah, we'll do it after these ones.

Oh, you know what? Shut up. Do it now. Yeah, go ahead and do it now. Okay, I frequent Kilchenna, the park. Oh yeah, you do the- The walk around. Oh, I was gonna ask, do you do the Frisbee golf?

That's what this is about. So I hate Ultimate. I don't know why I just the whole that I don't worry. Yes. You're a lifelong soccer player and you don't like that ultimate world frisbee players and don't say frisbee. It's a disc. That was another thing. They don't use a referees. It's self refereed and they want to get in the Olympics. You can't get an Olympics if you don't have a ref. That's we'll leave it at that. But Frisbee golf, golf, no disc golf, whatever. It's taking off. It's bigger than it's ever been.

I was doing a video of these idiots playing, um, cause it'll be around the dog park. And I was doing a video. I was like, trying to be like, uh, nature person. I was like, and they're out in the springtime in the wild. I was doing commentating and then I was walking in and they're out in that spring time in the wild. I was just commentating. And then I was walking in and he's like, this guy's like, I don't even play that much anymore, but I still beat everyone.

They're drinking beer. And I'm like, God, and I'm laughing at them. And then he gets grass. He throws it in the air to see the wind, how to throw it. I was like, oh no. And then he went, were you taking video of us? Cause you probably shouldn't.

And I'm like, what? And I thought he was dead. I was like, so it wasn't overheard. It was an interaction over her. And I was like, yeah, I was. And he's like, of the last throw I did. So he wanted to see the throw he did. So then I'm now like, I look like a crazy person

cause I have a fanny bag for my dog with the food and I went, you want that? And in my head I was like, you're so crazy. But I came off real crazy. Yeah. If he says you probably shouldn't do that, I'm kind of on his side. I wasn't, it was from afar. So I'm weirded out.

But that too, the dog park area, there's like three different little, and it's all changed so it like, it's weird that they throw it. And then he's there. Well, different people always like, can you move? Can you I'm like, no. Yeah, you're in a park. Get the fuck out. That's what I say. Yeah. Get the fuck out.

Smoking James is not afraid to get, you know, it is. It is getting bigger. And there's always people at the one at Queen Elizabeth Park. And you know how sometimes people have a putting green in their yard? No. Oh, well, it's a thing. Okay, wow.

I've never seen that before. I do. Well, wow. Oh, you do? No. And then, but I recently saw someone with one of those frisbee golf chain holes in their yard. No.

And it's not a big yard. Tell me the address afterwards. But they probably just work on their like spin. But the sound of that, you're the neighbor, I would, I will egg your house. With the clang, the chain clang. Is it- With a pickle ball.

Yeah, pickle ball's worse. People lose their mind with it. I think it's the funniest thing. They'll be like, the sound, I'm like, okay, or of everyone dying because they're fat? Yeah, that's the noisiest. The noisiest, they explode. That's the trade-off you make as a society. You either have people keeping fit with pickleball or dying loudly.

Explodely. Explodely. Explodely. You nailed it. Thank you. You nailed it. Thank you. Oh yeah, so we got overheard sent in. This first one comes from Robin in Guelph, Ontario. Woo. Overheard in a theater in London.

Someone in the row behind me said, that's what I love about England. There's so much history here. You can't walk down the street without bumping into another Agatha Christie statue, which I don't know if that's true. I never saw one when I was in London. They got it.

You weren't looking. They got tons of that over there though. Not always Agatha Christie, but- Winston Churchill. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. The two big mystery writers of the time.

It was nice he took time off from his mystery writing job too. He did write some with James Patterson. And his ghost writers for sure. Yeah. Yeah, he's got a whole factory turns those out. Yeah, but someone people don't think it, they think it's still him. Sure. Like how is he turning out a hundred books a year?

With Bill Clinton. This next one comes from Angela from Toronto. I was with my kid at the Toronto Zoo and there was a family walking behind us. A boy about 11 years old said to his dad, that was the best day of my life. And the father said that was the best day of your life when I bought you a lollipop not when I took you to Spain and Portugal. Kids wouldn't they don't appreciate Portugal. Kids have never heard of Portugal. Yeah. That's why the best day usually is the zoo

or going to Disneyland. They don't care. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also like, what kind of ice cream snacks or lollipops do you think they have in Portugal? Oh boy.

Good ones? Yeah, probably so good. But also, or being a room full of balls. You know, like the- Yeah, IKEA. Yeah. Yes. Probably the filthiest, right? Was IKEAkea do you think was the filthiest or

uh i feel like chuck e cheese i think my kids never did it because it was too gross it was there you have to be out of diapers okay um yeah and then by the time like there was a very small window when my kids were out of diapers between that and then when COVID started And so it was like great. So never Granville Island then cuz they have like a giant ball pit there Oh never the ball pit, but I go in and I've been kicked out so many times They've done the excuse me, ma'am a lot of the kids only there's like a little arcade and Certainly, there's a virtual reality store that they've gone to. You sit in a pod and go on a roller coaster.

Love it. Really? That's fucking great. It rips. Doesn't there's one in Kingsgate Mall, some sort of VR experience? Oh, yeah. Okay, I'm never doing that. It's just going through Kingsgate Mall. Yeah, virtually.

But you get to go through Kingsgate Mall from 20 years ago. Yeah, exactly. You get to take a library bus. It's dangerous. You take a library bus, go to Orange Orange. This last one comes from Yuri in Gladstone, Missouri. Yuri from Missouri? You know it, but the one and only. Oh my God, he must be in Yakov Smirnov's entourage.

It is entourage. In Russia, ent Taraj, no you follow on Taraj. Instead of a turtle, he's got a yurtle. It's a turtle from yurtle. My wife and I traveled to her hometown to visit family and attend the town's annual fair. While at the fair, a couple and their five year old pass bias hid to parents. Guess who I don't have a crush on at school? Mom, who hid my sister?

Everyone else? Yes, I have a crush on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but sis, no thanks. Well, that's great. And thanks to everyone for sending those in. Now, in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls and voice memos, you want to send us a voice memo do it and email it to SPY at MaximumFun.org and if you want to call us go to your phone and put in 1-844-779-7631 that's one.

Spy pod one like these people have. It's Ted Mom.. It's Ted Mom. Oh, Ted Mom. Bitch. Are you ready? It's Patricia. Bitch. I've got a message to use protection from the sun.

Oh, sure. You got me. You got me. I want to get, get my tan on They all are losers I'm sexier than the teen mom I am cool I am cool This looks like a video that they would say

is the latest YouTube trend on like, law and order Going off to everyone that we were talking about too I want you to back away Get away from me every day. I love that D doesn't tan though. My name is Tan Mom. Oh my god, this is my favorite thing in the world. She is not a tanning bruise.

What is this called so it feels like it's fine? It's called It's Tan Mom. Tan Mom, okay. By Patricia Krentzel. Oh. You gotta see it to believe it. Yeah. That's my wedding song.

I'll tell you that much. You're rid of the floor. Robot it. Okey dokey. Hi, Dave and Graham and probable guests. This is Dee from New Hampshire calling in an overseen. I was just driving home from work and got stopped behind someone who was turning left into a bowling alley.

And they were driving a white Ford Bronco, the original kind of Bronco, not the new one. And their license plate was RIP space OJ. No way. No freaking way. Oh wow. A tribute. What?

There is someone in Vancouver with a new white Bronco and I believe their license plate is juice. Nice. No. It's an iconic car killer combination. Also the old Bronco, those are expensive, the old ones. Well, there's the like vintage, like 70s ones that you see people. Those are 75,000 plus.

No, his was the 90s. Did I ever tell you guys when I saw that? I did it. What if I did it though? I have tiny hands. I was at the airport coming back from Europe and news was not the same back then. And there was on the TV screens. This was the 90s?

82, no. And it had OJ's picture and I was like, oh, he's in a new naked gun. And it showed him on the highway. I was like, this seems weird. It's when they were chasing him. And I literally was like, what? What happened?

Because just I was in Europe, so I didn't know anything. Yeah, that's so cool. Shut up. No, no, I mean it. It, I was in Europe, so I didn't know anything. Yeah, that's so cool. Shut up. No, no, I mean it's like that back in the day when you didn't get the news. Yeah. If you were, if you weren't here and you didn't watch TV or have a newspaper. Yeah. My president, sorry, principal from our school announced it over the intercom. What? That OJ was found innocent.

That's the weirdest thing. It was That OJ was found innocent. That's the weirdest thing in the- It was the only story at the time. But why was it your principal's duty to do that? What? Tell you that. He's supposed to be in charge of this kind of thing. Did he give you headlines every day? Yeah.

Funny ones though. Yeah. Why would you say that? That's the weirdest thing in the world. But I remember when it happened because everybody threw their binders in the air. It's just an opportunity. Woo hoo! My brother told me a story, this is not OJ related,

but it's related to traveling and being out of touch, about he was traveling in Europe and he met some other travelers and they were British, and they made a joke, this was like right when the Spice Girls came out, but he hadn't heard the Spice Girls yet because he was traveling and these British women made a joke that was like, hey what's the difference between a Spice Girls video and a porno video or a porno movie?

And they said, the porno video has better music. Oh, Scorch. And he was like, my brother was like, I gotta get back to North America and find out about these Spice Girls. And he got back and he was like, well, that joke doesn't make sense because the videos aren't that racy and the music rules. Yeah, the music is awesome. They were the only band at the time. You two are killing me.

Here's your next phone call. Hey, David Graham, this is Daniel in Cleveland, Ohio. I was recently on vacation in St. Lucia and I was lounging on a floater out in the ocean. And there are these two boys, maybe, you know, eight or nine. One was from England and one was from France. And started to rain. So everyone was kind of getting ready to go inside.

And the little boy from England was really disappointed that he was going to be distance from his new friend. He was, oh, wait, wait, wait. One more one more thing. Can you say can you say, my name is Noah and the French kid goes, uh, uh, Gemma fell Noah. Okay.

Okay. Uh, um, uh, okay. Uh, uh, something else, something else. Um, uh, do you know what skivety toilet is? And then later on, I heard him say, can you say Sigma? Happy to hear that, uh, uh, kids all over the world, the world think that same dumb shit is funny. All right Toilet it's happening. That's what's happening now. Is it? Yeah, it's what's cool. Yeah, my principal You know what it is?

came on the intercom and said skibity toilet is cool What does skibity toilet mean though? Brain rot video from the internet about a guy Yeah, and he sings a song, but being skippity toilet. Check it out. Yeah. It's not on Tan Mom anymore. It's sort of post Tan Mom.

I will. Of course I will. And here's your final phone call ever. Maybe this is our last one. Oh my God. 900 is all we promised. It's clean. It's a good way to go out.

And I'm kind of inspired by Mark Maron. That's right. Yeah. Don't you dare. You too. No. All right. Here we go.

Hey, Dave Graham and guests. This is Justin in Connecticut calling in an overheard. I was just in a Chipotle behind a couple who seemed to be bickering amongst themselves while we were in line. Finally, they got up to the register to pay. The girl goes to pick up the tray to walk to the table and the gentleman excuses himself to the restroom and she yells behind him, all you do is pee and get mad. No freaking way. You knew that when you married me. That's all I do is pee and I get mad. I have to go to the

bathroom. Here we go again. We'll be at this again. You go like five times a day. What's going, what are you doing in that bathroom? Yeah. Who are you stinging? Skiffity doo, skiffity dee dee. Whatever that thing was. Skiffity doo.

Perfect. Skiffity doo. You're addicted to the toilet. I can hear you splashing around in there. What's going on? You're just like your father. Why are you laughing in there? Maybe I'm just like my father. To the boy was just like me.

Hey dad, can I spend some time in the toilet? Whatever, we can do you flesh it out and post. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys gonna come back for a punch up session on this episode? Do some ADR. Well that brings punch-up session on this episode? Do some ADR. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Jane, you produced many shows.

What can people go see? This will be out, by the way, on the 16th of June. My birthday. No, it's not. Yeah, I have shows. I'm on the island at that time. Okay. And I'm doing hecklers on the Saturday of the, I think it's the 18th or something like that.

Okay. Whatever. And then I have the other shows I'm doing the following week from like Wednesday on. They can just check it out on Instagram on my link. You are what on Instagram? Not. I'm Tan Mom. She's at Tan Mom.

Tan Mom. I'm The Jane Stanton. The Jane Stanton. The Jane Stanton. Okay. Yeah. Thank you for Jane Stanton. The Jane Stanton. At the Jane Stanton. Okay. Yeah. Thank you for being our guest. Thank you.

And thank you everybody out there for listening. If you haven't visited your local Dairy Queen, they're waiting for you. And go have yourself a treat and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.