Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 902 - Cass Furman

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

Comedian Cass Furman joins us to talk skin treatments, yahtzee, and travel snafus. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 902 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is Matt is pretty excited that this is episode 902. One oh.

Yeah, that's right. We achieved this and I don't know if there's another number quite as famous as 90210. I mean, if we ever do 90,210 episodes. Yeah, that would be, well, let's do it. Yeah, okay. We'll release micro episodes. Oh yeah, there's like little just morning blips. I've heard of like people who do release albums on Spotify, they have just silence and then they,

but they're like two second tracks because you get paid by the track. least albums on Spotify have just silence and then they, but they're like two second tracks cause you get paid by the track. Ah. And so they're just like, hey, or they're, you know, listen to this and fall asleep. And it's just like, I guess I was trying to do white noise.

I don't think that's white noise. Listeners out there, if you need white noise, just loop what Dave just did. Eh. Hrrr. Hrrr. Hrrr. You know there's different colors of noise?

Yeah, brown noise. Apparently it's good for anxiety. Brown noise is good for anxiety and for cleaning you up. Yeah, it is. It's a bidet. That voice you hear is a first time guest here on the podcast. Very funny comedian, host of her own podcast, the podcast, it's Cass Furman.

Hello, Cass. Hey, how's it going guys? She did a little like, like moved with the rhythm of podcast. I liked that. No, I liked Graham with the inflection on it. You have to. You have to, of course.

Otherwise you're just like the podcast, how unoriginal. Yeah. I mean, it would be like a big baller move to be like, I just make the podcast. I make the podcast. People are going to search this and find it. And they're going to get it. It's like when Whoopi Goldberg put out a book just called Book.

Yeah. I was like, you get to do that? You get to be the one that releases a book called Book. Yeah. I guess you just have to decide you're that person. Yeah. You know, you're that gal. I'm 100% that bitch.

Yeah, I'm 100% that bitch. I love it. Should we get to know us? Yeah. You know, you're that gal. I'm 100% that bitch. Yeah, I'm 100% that bitch. I love it. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Cass, tell us about your podcast. My podcast right now is, I think there's like 17 episodes of me, me solo. Oh, solo? Yeah, ranting about different things. It was supposed to be an advice podcast, but then no one's written in yet, which is so fair because we haven't promoted it at all.

So it's mostly just me giving advice on things that I think of and talking about random stuff. Give me some advice. What do you need advice on, Graham? I mean, dealer's choice. Whatever you're trying to do. Do you wear sunscreen? I do. Oh, okay. Do I look them. Do you wear sunscreen? I do.

Oh, okay. Do I look like I don't wear sunscreen? I don't know. Can you just take all your advice from the Baz Luhrmann hit, the spoken word song? Everybody's free to wear sunscreen. Everybody's free to wear sunscreen. I do. I do.

I do. That's my inspiration for life. You know what? I mean, a lot of people don't wear sunscreen. Do you wear sunscreen, Dave? I hate sunscreen. What the heck? But I do wear it. What do you mean you hate sunscreen but you wear it?

It's cakey. It's, it's, it's. It doesn't have to be. You're not wearing the right sunscreen then. It's slimy. It's, um, well, you know, there was, there was one that a listener suggested and it was great. It was a spray on one, but then you rub it in and it was like powdery and it was great.

And then it got taken off the market because it was poison. Right, right, yeah. Usually the fun gimmicky ones are bad for you in some way. But yeah, that's my number one advice is to wear sunscreen. Wear sunscreen. Yeah, wear sunscreen. Do you wear it every day? My wife wears it every day.

You gotta wear it every day. Yeah. Even in the winter? Yes. Even if you don't have a house? Yes, unless you wanna age. But I don't wanna, what if I'm, you know, stuck in bed all day? Oh, stuck in bed all day?

Oh, stuck in bed all day. Yeah. So just, yeah, if you're doom scrolling, I think you can, you can avoid it for the day. Thank you. That's okay. You're allowed. Yeah, we'll give you the free time.

But Laris Hilton says she never got cosmetic surgery and that sunscreen is a big part of her regimen. But do you think that's true that she's ever had? I don't believe her at all. Yeah. You know what I think happens? I think that those guys all have little like NDAs going on with their surgeons. And they're like, we're just not going to say anything.

You know, and then they're like, oh, it's sunscreen and ginger shots in the morning. And you're like, no, it isn't. That's a facelift. That's a deep plane facelift. They get a moisturizer commercial. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. That's how L'Oreal grabs onto them and goes, yeah, we'll do this.

Yeah, you're taking Olay's new anti-wrinkle cream. So, wear sunscreen. Yeah. What other... What is the other advice from that song? Do you know that song? No. It's... Oh my God. It's a...

Tell us. ...a weird classic from the 90s. It was from the 90s. It has a beat and it's just a person giving a speech about... to like, to the graduating class. The very 90s. They loved graduation in the 90s, it has a beat and it's just a person giving a speech about, to like, to the graduating class. Yeah. Very 90s. Yeah. They loved graduation in the 90s.

What if we all graduated? Wouldn't that be crazy? Well, I did. Honestly, like, I feel like the class of 98 deserves a medal for graduating the year that Green Day song came out. That Green Day song came out, the Vitamin C graduation song came out. Oh, is that the, I'm saying I'm. Yeah, I feel like that was a year or two later though.

Was it? That song used to make me so sad. I used to listen to that as a kid alone in my room and be like, yes, remember all the times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really hit home. It was called Friends Forever Graduation. It came out in 1999.

1999. We will still be friends forever. Oh, Friends Forever Graduation, it came out in 1999. We will still be friends forever. Friends Forever, Barbie. And have you ever heard of the movie or musical Hairspray? Of course. She was in the original Hairspray. She was? Like on Broadway?

Before Broadway, it was originally a film that inspired the Broadway show. Oh, the early Hairspray. The early Hairspray. Vitamin C was? Yeah. She was the- In the John Waters non-musical. Yeah, Ricky Lake hairspray. The early hairspray. Vitamin C was? Yeah. She was the...

Vitamin C. In the John Waters non-musical. Yeah, Ricky Lake and Vitamin C. That's another piece of advice, Vitamin C. You should definitely be using a Vitamin C. Absolutely. Yeah, I feel like she was on it early. Vitamin C, sunscreen. Yeah, this is all skin care stuff.

I have nothing else to add. What else do you have? What other areas of advice do you... I do a lot about like dating, career motivation, stuff like that, yeah. Give me some of your best dating advice. If you have to really, really work hard to understand somebody or you feel like you

and your partner just don't understand each other, it doesn't mean either of you are bad people, it just probably means you shouldn't be together. And I think unless you're with someone that feels so absolutely exceptional, you will be better and happier and more successful staying single than feeling like a stranger in your own house. Are you single? No.

Okay. You have a partner who understands you. Oh God. Yeah. What, um, do you have like any training in giving advice or is this all just, or, or are you just like the person that all your friends go to? I'm kind of the person all my friends go to.

I didn't, I was when I was a little kid too, like I think cause I gave my parents a lot of advice or help. Hey yeah, let's think about pushing this bedtime. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. What do we think about Starpatch Kids in the morning? Yeah, dessert first. Yeah.

We could just start on that. I thought it was like, Hey folks, we consider a reverse mortgage. I first. Yeah, we could just start on that. I thought it was like, hey folks, we consider a reverse mortgage, I think. Yeah, that would be a good idea. Yeah, we need to do some investing. We're not really investing. No, my parents were split from when I was really young and I think you kind of become a best friend

to them a little bit, right? And then I was in the world of adults very early. Yeah, only child? Yeah, not really anymore, but at the time for the first seven years I was. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. But then I-

And you're eight years old now? I'm eight years old. Yes, yes, graduated. I'm such a big fan of sunscreen. I'm staying eight forever. You do look great. You do look great. Staying eight forever.

It's Botox. I look good because of Botox. But yeah, I just ended up being the one in my friend group that had like older advice. It wasn't very good when I was younger. Like I'd be like, you tell him if he doesn't kiss you by tomorrow, he doesn't love you. And that means you better break up. You know? Wow.

That's good advice. Kiss me by tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. You tell him if he's dragging his feet, like, you know, go hold his hand in the courtyard, you know? Like, it was very grade five at the time. And then as I got older, I feel like I just became that advice person. But then also, I was in an eight-year marriage and got divorced and then kind of moved across

the country, started stand-up. And I feel like a lot of my current advice is built off of just the things that I've learned. So it's a take it or leave it, obviously, but I do feel like it's worked for me. I think I leave most advice. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'll cherry pick.

I'll cherry pick. I like- You should. Yeah. I like, get it from different places. For sure. Sometimes it's Huda from Love Island This is show that I'm currently watching To really be clingy and make America hate you nice, but that's how you get popular and how you get rich Yeah, and that's what a reality show needs. You need to have somebody that's a screwball What's the best of them like is you I to me's too hot to handle because that's the one where they tell horny people they

can't have sex. Oh. You can tell they don't even really want to. They're just like, let's do this for the drama. Should we hook up? I think they want to. Really? I think that they're just people that have sex compulsively.

Maybe. That's the only thing they know how to do. Yeah, exactly. Do you know that though? When you're just like, you see people and you're like, you are so hot. I bet the only thing you know how to do is like the fun cat and mouse game of like, who's gonna kiss who first?

Yeah, that's a fun game though. Yeah, kind of. And if you don't kiss her first. And if you don't kiss me first, bye. Bye tomorrow. 12 o'clock. I turn into a pumpkin. But wait, I wanna know Dave, why don't you take a lot of advice?

Well, I just don't seek it. I don't have. That's fair. Maybe you don't need it. I don't know. I don't talk to anyone. Oh, okay. I think you do a podcast every week. I think you talk to lots. Yeah, I know, but don't talk to me. Oh, listeners, hey, out there, listeners, give me some advice. Don't you fucking dare. His face looks very stern right now. I wouldn't do it if you're listening. Have you ever had advice completely rebuffed? They're just like, you're 100% in the wrong? I've had advice rebuffed and then I was right about everything and then they don't want

to talk to me about it later because I just- You called it. Called it. Yeah. Which is fine. I've learned now that there's, I've learned when to not give advice now, which is another part I think about giving advice that you have to learn right as you get older. When do you not give advice now, which is another part, I think, about giving advice that you have to learn, right, as you get older. When do you not give advice?

Well, if I'm talking to someone about something I really think would be helpful for them, and usually the advice is not very specific because it has to be open for the other person. Like, I can't give you specific advice and say, you need to do this because you're not gonna do that. That's not gonna make you. I will, I will.

Yeah, yeah, I will. But if I say, you know, go off of what you feel, go off of what feels good to you, a lot of it's like learning how to trust yourself, I will, I will. Yeah, yeah, I will. But if I say, you know, go off of what you feel, go off of what feels good to you, a lot of it's like learning how to trust yourself, I guess, because I didn't for a long time. And then I think when you do, your life starts to get a little bit better. And so when people go against themselves or are really set on like going against what they want, even though they'll tell you what they want, when you say, okay, then do what you want, and they don't, and they kind of go against it and they kind of waffle.

That's usually when they're kind of, you become a mirror for all of the mistakes they made or all of the decisions they didn't do. So that's when it becomes difficult to have a relationship with that person because when they see you, they're kind of reminded of how they could have maybe done something differently for themselves and they didn't. So if I can sense that someone's really like wants advice, but I can tell that they're just kind of manic and not in the place to take it, I'll try to keep it more neutral.

And then they can build out. Hide it in like, sneak a note into their lunch. Exactly, exactly. Sneak a note, yes, yes. Leave little post-its notes and be like, you know what to do, you know, around their house. Did your parents ever put a note in your backpack? My mom put one, yeah, in our lunch.

What'd she say? Knock it off. I already know what you're thinking. Yeah, yeah, don't you dare. Knock it off. Was it a regular thing or was. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Don't you dare. Knock it off. Was it a regular thing or was it? I don't know if it was regular. I just remember it happening.

It was a nice little thing. Did yours? No. Never? No. No notes. Nobody sent you the facts at high school? No notes.

She said, no notes. You're perfect. Go to school, have fun. I'll have you know, my dad made my lunches. Oh. Oh. Was he good at it? He was, but I, you know what, I didn't speak up about it. And I mostly just threw away the sandwiches for 10 years. You threw them away, what'd you eat?

The other stuff. They were just, you know, rice krispie square. Oh yeah, so good when they give you a treat. Apple slices or whatever. Yeah, I always come home with the vegetables all the time. Hate vegetables. You hate vegetables. I hate them.. Yeah, I always come home with the vegetables all the time. Hate vegetables. You hate vegetables. I hate them.

That's why I kind of love allergy season this year because I have no taste so I can just eat vegetables. You currently still hate vegetables? Oh yeah, big time. I'll pick lettuce off a burger. Where do you get your vitamin C? Vitamin C in serums and in juice that I force myself to drink, like Crest Juice

that we make at home. Right. Crest Juice? Crest Juice. Crest White Strips. And juice. No, I thought like Watercress. Oh, you're fancy.

No, I don't even think I've ever had a Watercress. I think you probably have. It's just like a lettuce, isn't it? A little meat lettuce. Oh, I think of, yeah, Watercress is lettuce. What are those called? Water Chestnuts. Yeah, Watercress is, are those nuts?

No, I've had water chestnuts. What are they? They're kind of white. They're spongy little white wads. Spongy little white wads! They're like in Chinese food a lot of the time. Right, right, right. They're crunchy.

Okay. Yeah. I'm down for a crunchy thing. But you don't, I'm fascinated with it. You don't like, like you don't like a carrot? Hate it. Really? Why would I ever pick that when there's other foods? Like what?

What's a substitute for vegetables? Everything else, like fast food, ramen, I don't, chicken fingers, I make my own chicken fingers. Frick, fricking frick, I love it. I have a 10 year old and an eight year old and they have a similar diet to yours. Love it. But they do eat, they like-

What will they eat? We've zeroed in on the vegetables they will willingly eat. Okay, what is it? French fries. Potatoes, potatoes is a vegetable. Cherry tomatoes for my 10 year old. And my eight year old has like five or six, she'll eat carrots, cucumbers.

Nice. Those are the kid ones. Those are the kid ones. You can't advance till kale until you're like a teenager. She also likes kale. Really? Yeah. Oh, true Vancouver.

Yeah, she's like, she's like scale. She goes to Pilates. I was gonna say, she loves matcha. She makes it every day, the fresh matcha. Mixed herself. I went to, I was driving down the street the other day and there was some like, there's all these as the summer starts there's always sort of outdoorsy like uh what would you call them yuppie kind of

like activities like though like the white party there's a white party sure but I was driving down the street and there was a uh someone was doing a wine tasting out of a like food truck. Yeah. And they had brought, this wasn't at like one of those plazas that has seating. They had brought just like milk crates for people to sit on. And there were a hundred people all sitting onto a milk crate.

And it was a nightmare to drive through. If you call something a festival, you can do the most unfancy shit and people will still show up and pay $30 for a ticket. Like those people are sitting on milk crates to drink wine. You could drink wine in a nice chair at home. Yeah.

But they were like, this is a fine place. Or under an underpass. Yeah. Totally. I'm not for free. Oh, remember those days? I remember once my friend, I was at a cottage in Ontario, I know you guys call it cabins, but we're cottages.

I can translate. Yeah, me too. Yeah, you can translate what you guys, so. The goal was just to get as drunk as possible and I remember one time my friend was like doing a funnel and I can't drink beer, because I'm allergic to hops. The goal was to get as drunk as possible. Because it's too many vegetables.

It's too many vegetables, it's wheat, it's like from the ground, I hate it. Anyway, so I had rum and c Coke's classic, cane sugar, right? That's perfect. And my friend just looked at me and he was like, you can funnel anything. And so I funneled rum and Coke's. You funneled rum and Coke's.

Oh yeah. With ice as well? Threw up immediately. No. With little swords in it? I wish, yeah, that'd be cool. Cause a rum and Coke is like, I guess when you funnel a beer, it's just a can worth, right?

Yeah. Yeah, okay. So yeah, you can- This was a whole like, yeah, mixed drink for sure. Sure. Right. Wow. And you threw up immediately? I think so. I tried to sit in the fire and then that didn't work.

And then, you know, you throw up and you chill out. But anyway, you saying drinking wine in the underpass just made me remember. Yeah. You have a pal that had a cottage? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. A few growing up right- That's like the Ontario thing.

Well, I say it because I know here if you have a- I'll translate for you guys. But I feel like if you have a cabin here, it's like, oh, you rich rich. But in Ontario, there's so many like tiny cottages that are only open for like two months. Right. That people have on little random lakes and stuff. So you just go up there and... Growing up, it wasn't you rich rich so much because there was like,

like even Whistler, like people had like a shack that they kept their skis in or, and there were, there's tons of like little islands where it's just like, you have a speedboat that you can take out to the island. Not so expensive though, that you have a speedboat. Well now it is, now it is. But like in the 80s, it was just like. Yeah, Justin Cook's dad had one for Brian out loud.

Who's Justin Cook? He was my, he was my like... Yeah, Justin Cook's dad had one, for crying out loud. Who's Justin Cook? He was my pal whose dad had a jet ski. And he was not rich? No, I mean, they were fine, but they weren't jet-ski rich. But back then, they were jet-ski rich. Isn't that crazy how you could just... It wasn't like a thing in the 80s. I mean, there were rich people, but...

Yeah, dynasty dynasty LA law and like I feel like my neighbor Had a BMW, but it was also just like a bitch of a car to own like he was always in the shop Like being rich kind of suck you kind of saw the downside of being rich really this is actually lame They make it look so glamorous now. I think like camp camp cabinings No, no, just being just being wealthy like, you know back in the day You could see that a B&W was kind of a kind of a drag to own Yeah, but now it's like the with the ads you'd be like, that's a jetliner, you know, yeah, I Know anybody rich and also I knew a couple it was like you had a big house

But you still or you had a satellite dish. But like now, like being poor, you have way more TV you can watch. So much. And the TVs are cheaper than they were back then. They are. That's the one thing that's gotten cheaper. Remember when it was a big deal to get like a really big TV?

Like if someone in the neighborhood got like a really big flat screen, it was like, oh my God. And now that's the one thing that seems to have gotten cheaper. I feel like years ago, I had a group of pals that lived in the same apartment in Toronto and they found like somebody brought out their old big screen TV, but like when they weighed a ton, when they were like on the floor. Yeah, you needed a guy to, you needed a team of guys to get it.

It took like four of them to bring it into the house, but they didn't even know that it worked, but they're like, we're taking a chance on this. You have to. And from different angles in the room, you really can't see it. No, it's so true because it's so flat. You're over in the corner, you have one chair in the corner and you're like, this is great. Everyone's face is warped and sideways. They all look smushed.

Everybody looks really skinny all of a sudden. Come watch the big fight. Yeah. Yeah. It was like everything else in the apartment was absolute trash. And then this one kind of nice thing. Yeah. Yeah. Which that's my advice to anybody out there. If you're living in trash, have one nice thing. My new, my thing I'm going to upgrade next is if I, when my current TV dies, I'm going to get one that has like whatever the technology is

that you can watch it on a bright day. Ooh, that's good. Like you can watch a dark movie on a bright day. That's so good, that's so good. Because there's nothing worse than when you're just, everyone wants to be out, but you're like, I need to be in, and then your TV just, you can't even see it. I'm trying to watch Seven.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, Seven, good movie. Do you guys like horror movies? Oh, yeah, love them. Me too. What's your favorite? I don't think they have a favorite. I have ones that hit me in different way Oh, I like that. That's that's good. That's good for horror movie fans. You gotta like this different What did I just watch? It was very bad What's the one you watch with Kyle before dawn? I think it was called is based on a video game Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke Yep, and the scary part they never got together I think it was called, it was based on a video game. Is it Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke? Yep.

And the scary part, they never got together. Yeah. Terrifying. Yeah, no, I like different, I like a ghost type, I like a slasher type. Nice. What's your go-to? I'm the same way, I think for,

I love a B campy, ridiculous horror, like Killer Clowns from Outer Space is one of my favorites. The classic. Just for just funny, silly. But I also love a good take on grief, like Babadook. Take on grief. Oh, that was nice. Take on grief.

And right on tune. Take grief. I got lost in the middle. Babadook. Yeah, Babadook. Strangers is underrated, I think. Not enough people talk about that. Strangers is the... It's the home invasion one. Yes.

With Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler. Yes, but the score is really interesting because they never use scary, suspenseful music. They either use silence or country music, which I think is so cool. Did you ever see Funny Games? Oh, I maybe. That's a home invasion one. Is it? With Naomi Watts. It's scary as hell. Yeah? Oh, maybe. That's a home invasion one. Is it?

With Naomi Watts. It's scary as hell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like the home invasions. I like Don't Breathe. I like a lot of the home invasions. Don't Breathe, that's the blind? Blind Guy, yeah.

Too much? Like are there any horror movies that are too? Serbian film. I watched Serbian film when I was a teenager. It's called Serbian film? It's called A Serbian Film, the podcast. Um, but it's a really strong take on the Serbian film? It's called a Serbian film, the podcast. Um, but it's a really strong take on the Serbian film, but it's, uh, don't, don't watch it.

It's terrible. It's I think banned in a couple of countries and. Oh, now I want to watch it. I know that's what made me want to watch it is an older, older sister of a friend was like, don't it's so bad. You'll be messed up. And my friend and I were like, okay, well watch it. And then afterwards we just stared at a wall for three hours because it was pretty rough.

Too much. Yeah, too much, too much. A little too Serbian. A little too Serbian, a little too filmy, you know? When I was a kid, the scariest one that my friend had was called Cannibal Holocaust. Yes, yes, yes. Like Blair Witch, it was supposed to be like this is found footage of some explorers that got Abducted by a tribe of cannibals. Yeah, it's gross and I when you're a kid you're like this actually happened

Have you seen the terrifier movies because they're quite gross Yes, I have clown Yes And then yeah, I mean like I'll watch anything that's not torture porn. That's the only thing I watch. Totally, yeah. I think now I've gotten to a place where I'm like, I just want it to be at least made kind of well.

Like, if the theme is gore, that's great, but like, you gotta put some effort, you can't just be like, and here's the grossest thing I could think of, and then the next grossest thing I could think of with no plot, like, I'm done with that a little bit, right? I can't, the thing is, I've seen seen all these movies I can never remember the titles of them and that a lot of movies we're making one right now yeah knock at the door the one I just watched what did you watch with Kyle before oh that was it something like that before dawn and it Oh, that was it? Something like that, before dawn. And it was, the plot was, it was really gummy.

They go, a group of young adults. When does this happen? Oh, like sort of before dawn? Yeah. Yeah. What do we say like after sunset before dawn? Kind of vibe. They go to, towards the cabin.

And they're looking for- Towards one. They don't go away from it. They want to get in there. When they were driving up, same thing happens every time. Go to a gas station, guy at the gas station says, don't go up there. I love that.

I love the gas station moment. There's always one. Yeah. And then they're looking for one of the characters' sisters who disappeared. And they go into this place and they get killed, but then this thing resets. And then they're alive again, but they remember that they were killed. And each time they get a little more damaged so that they start falling apart as the days go by. Like physically?

Yeah. Like they losing limbs and stuff? Just like hair starts falling out and they start getting like weird spines and. Oh, I think I have. That's happening to me. Yeah, I was gonna say, it sounds like aging. Well, you know what you gotta do?

You gotta get that hourglass, it's got the skull on it, turn it back. Oh yeah, yeah. Don't go to the gas station. Yeah, it's weird, there's a gas station, people don't even come out of the little store anymore. Yeah. That, yeah. Don't go to the gas station. Yeah, it's weird. There's a gas station, people don't even come out of the little store anymore. Yeah. That's right.

I got to warn you, don't go out there. Stay in here. You have to go in and get, you buy your own Twizzlers. Socks. In the old days, they would come out and squeegee your windshields, give you Twizzlers. I remember that the first time I saw that in a smaller town in Ontario, because I wasn't used to that growing up and I really freaked me out. I was like, we're getting robbed. Getting the full service.

Yeah, full service. It's nice. When I was a kid, everything was full-serve. Yeah. And everything had lead in it as well. Yeah, everything was lead. And gas stations would compete for your dollar by giving away prizes, much like really yeah so rises like what like your Petro Canada had glassware yeah and once where

shell had like cassettes that were like sounds of the 60s that makes more sense than glassware because you could like play that in a car maybe but glass I know but they can't keep you coming back because you want to get the full set I get it it's a collectible Wow it's like McDonald's toys exactly yeah it was sort of they did they do it outside of the Calgary Olympics or was it just the Calgary Olympic time I only remember the Calgary Olympic time but they they definitely my parents still have them of course they're collectible the good china the good. That's how my mom feels about her Mickey Mouse glass from the Olympics, it's like a collectible glass.

Maybe it's from a gas station, but you can't touch that thing. From what Olympic? 2000. I said MC Hammer has a 2000. 2000, it's a 2000, it's like beautifully done. What'd you say? I said my friend MC Hammer has something like that as well. You can't touch it.

You can't touch it. Was 2000 Barcelona? No, 2000 was Australia. Was it Sydney? Sydney? It was, I think it was Sydney. Yeah, with Ian Thorpe in the pool, the Thorpeeto. Ooh.

He was a distance swimmer, a sprint swimmer? I think all of it. Oh, really? He was Australian. He was a felp? He was prefelp. Prefelp. Felp was my, I was a competitive swimmer for a long time. You were? I was, really? He was Australian. He was a FELP? He was pre-FELP. Pre-FELP. FELP was my, I was a competitive swimmer for a long time.

You were? I was, yeah, for eight years. What was your? I would explain your love of sugar. I just remember the year Michael Phelps came out, there were so many stories on his diet. Oh my God. And he ate so much.

Being a swimmer is like the sophisticated, like toddlers and tiaras. Like, you know how in that show, they're always giving kids pixie sticks so they can get on stage. That's what we're doing in the pool for sure. I mean, because you're up so early, like I woke up every day at 4.20, blaze it.

And a couple bomb rips headed to the pool, 14 years old, prime, ready. And I would just pray for the lifeguard not to show up. Because if the lifeguard didn't show up, you couldn't go in the pool. And how many times did that happen? Maybe only, I swam about eight times a week in my heyday. So twice a day for a few days, whatever.

And maybe only once or twice a year, but God, it was like Christmas. Did you get, like, did you win ever? Oh, I was pretty bad. For how much I swam, I really should have been a lot better. And I was like six feet tall at 13. Like I should have had everything going for me. But I wanted to go like-

Are you still six feet tall? Six one. Six, yeah, yeah, a little close to six one. Wow, it's weird to like stop growing at 13. I know. And I had scoliosis and a back brace. Like I really had the whole meal deal. Really?

Yeah, for sure. You're losing hair, you got a spine thing. I'm like the guy from the gas station. I'm coming out, spine's crooked, hair's falling out. Gotta get that monkey bob. Gotta get that, yeah, exactly. I gotta get the skull thing, turn it upside down. But yeah, and it was, oh my God,

I really should have been better. I was decent, like I could do my age and chin ups before and after my workout, so I was really strong. Really? Yeah, no one wanted to date me in like grade eight because I was like arm wrestling at real one. Yeah, stuff. But how many years did you swim?

Eight. And how old were you when you stopped? So I was eight to 16, and then I went into like lifeguarding and stuff as a job. And then- Oh, really? And then people would hope you didn't show up. Oh, God, yeah. It was weird, eh? So true, full circle of life.

Yeah, I never did that. Katie-Ellen Humphreys, past guest. Yes. Big swimmer. Yep. And she said the one thing, I mean, she says a lot. Yeah, she says a lot.

But the one thing she noticed was when she stopped swimming was suddenly she realized, oh, you have to blow your nose a lot more and clean your ears a lot more if you're not in the pool every day. Oh, I never clean my ears. I go in there, my boyfriend loves to clean my ears

and he'll get in there and just be like, what the hell is wrong with you? Like- Boyfriend likes to clean your ears. Aaron loves to clean my ears. Aaron does? Yeah. I want to learn more about this Aaron character.

He also looks at my scalp and he's like, you have scalps or isis. And I'm like, okay. So he's taking pictures of my scalp. He's like a monkey. Is he an expert? Nope. Does he has no training?

He loves what he calls DIY dentistry and other random grooming things. This is very scary. Where he'll like open my mouth and floss my teeth for me and stuff. Tell me where I have gum recession. So is this advice you'd give to somebody like let your significant other root around in your mouth?

No, this is me not taking my own advice, which would be personal space in those moments. But I don't know, sometimes you just get tired and you just let someone pick at you for a bit. Sure. You know what, I went to the dentist last time and they were like, your teeth are the best they've ever been, so DIY dentistry. Nice, okay. Sure. You know what? I went to the dentist last time and they were like, your teeth are the best they've ever been, so, DIY dentistry.

Nice, okay. Yeah. Aaron, well done. I know, right? It's grooming me well. I was sick a couple of weeks because I had to cancel a dentist appointment and then they rescheduled me.

So I have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 6 p.m. Oh, yikes. What a terrible time to be going to the dentist. Yeah. At 6 p.m.? Are you gonna have a glass of wine with them after? Shouldn't you be closed? Happy hour dentist.

You get half off? Is it sick? Yeah, I've had the dentist where I was getting like a crown put in, which isn't painful, and nearly falling asleep because it's just that, it's like a consistent sound. It's like that you're lying back and I've got shades on. It's kind of nice. My dentist, they used to, so growing up,

dentists never, like you had nothing to watch. That's true. Our field poster was what we had on the roof. Yeah, I could look out the window at Sophie's Cosmic Cafe. Cool. Ooh. Is that down on fourth? Yeah, that's where my dentist was.

And then now my last dentist, TV on the ceiling, you get the remote. Yeah. Headphones if you want. Yeah. Oh yeah, totally. Watch the view to distract you from the pain of them just digging around in your mouth. My new dentist, I like my new dentist more, but the TV offering is some kind of, it's like Pluto TV or just like a channel of just puppies.

Oh, yeah. Like that's nice, but. Like when you go into a nail salon and on the TV, they just have like random zoomed out shots of like Switzerland or something. And you're like, I don't need to see this. Yeah. Geneva is great, but I don't care. Or just like, yeah, or just music videos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, at my dent, you should go to my dentist

because they have Netflix. Oh, nice. They have Netflix, so I'm watching Animal, like I'm watching Blue Planet and stuff. Nice, that's a good dentist to watch. My worry would be that I would Netflix, but then I would chill. And my dentist, we'd end up fucking. Right, that's my worry dentist's watch. My worry would be that I would Netflix, but then I would chill. And my dentists, we'd end up fucking.

Right, that's my worry, we'd end up together. Cause I'm already lying down. Yeah, exactly, and you're watching Netflix. It's like two pieces of the puzzle already there. Yeah, oh my God. And they're in your mouth a lot. And he's like, all right, God, there's an angle, I gotta straddle you here real quick.

You just keep watching the last dance. Yeah, you do whatever you want. What's the most famous Netflix property of all time? Tiger King maybe? Oh my God. Well, Stranger Things is probably the best. Yeah, I would say so. Now you just, we were talking before the podcast, you also work in the field of...

Medical aesthetics. Yeah, medical aesthetics, psoriasis, boyfriend plaque removal. Yeah, that's what we call it. It's on the underneath the title. who also work in the field of medical aesthetics, psoriasis, boyfriend plaque removal. Yeah, that's what we call it. It's on the underneath. It says boyfriend plaque removal. It's a special service. You pay for it. Aaron comes in and ruins your life for 10 minutes. You said medical aesthetics, and I immediately was thinking, like, that is kind of a vague term. And I was like, injections, microblading, these things. Yes, and you said microblading,

which I thought was so sweet. My favorite is when a man just throws out a word that he's heard and doesn't fully know the meaning of in aesthetics and I like the little proud nod at the end too. We don't do microblading, which is where you kind of tattoo your eyebrows. And that's not medical, No. It's just aesthetic. Yeah.

I would say there's like, there's two things you can do. You can go into like a nail salon and they'll do like waxing and threading and tweezing. Let's do it. Microblading and that kind of thing. Eyelash extensions maybe that's like the one kind of thing. Oh, that's what I need. Yeah, eyelash extensions in your eyebrows. I want to get toe extensions.

Toe extensions? Not toenails, just longer toes. Just longer toes? I want just one longer toe. I want that middle toe. You just want to have Just longer toes. I want just one longer toe. I want that middle toe. I just wanna have a bigger shoe size. No, I just wanna be able to wrap my toes around.

Like a good hook? Kind of like a tree frog climbing. Nice, nice, nice. It would be cool to know if that would work, you know? Just little pads on the bottom, like grip socks. And then what we do is like facials, chemical peels, microneedling. There's also injectors that do Botox. Microblading is not microneedling.

No, different thing, different thing. I've been known to needle gray up a bit. Have you? Yeah, but I'm a little wet. chemical peels, microneedling, there's also injectors that do Botox. Microblading is not microneedling. No, different thing, different thing. I've been known to needle gray of a bit. Have you? Yeah, about- A little bit of a race. Yeah, like- Micro style. Well, just about his sort of like career path, like, hey, why don't you go back to school?

Why don't you go back to school? That's what we offer on a micro level. We don't suggest back to school, we're like, why don't you just have a shower? You know, it's like microneedling, you come in, it's like- Yeah, make your bed. It's a little bit, yeah. Look, we can- We why don't you just have a shower? You know, it's like micro-needling. You come in, it's like a little bit. Yeah. Look, we can brush our hair today and we would feel better, I think.

So yeah, that's what we do. Micro-needling is where you open up a lot of channels in the skin with a pen that has a bunch of needles. So it makes 1920 nano-wounds per second. 1920? Nano-wounds per second. Nano- per second. Is this something that you move slowly over the face

or something you pick up the face with? What is the? Great question. So it's kind of, you use a glide, so like a serum that can be needled into the skin. It's called a trans-epidermal serum. This is fascinating. Is it?

Yeah, it is. Because I feel like every time I talk about this, people's eyes go. No, no, no, this is like. You're interested? Yes, I'm interested. So is like... You're interested? Yes, I'm interested. So then you do that, and then you do it in specific patterns.

Every pen is different. Some you can kind of do circles on the skin, some you can go straight, and then you can also stamp areas where there's scars or deep lines that you want to kind of improve. And what it will do is it will stimulate the body's wound healing response. So your body will go, there's a wound, I need to heal it. Because of the way it's been done, it'll heal more evenly, so it helps with texture, superficial fine lines, and it's very safe.

Almost everybody can do it. There's no kind of risk. Well, there's a risk if I poke your eye out or something. Oh, sure, yeah. Yeah, no, don't micro-needle my eyes. That's the only part I don't want you to know. Well, you cross your heart and hope to die. Yeah, that's true.

And then, yeah. Micro-needle in my eye. Micro-needle in my eye. It has you to know. Well, you cross your heart and hope to die. Yeah. That's true. And then, yeah. You got a needle in my eye. You got a micro needle in my eye. You got a house of newer pie. So that's great. And what is it?

That's a great transition. What is a facial peel? Yeah. Oh, a chemical peel? It's where you put a blend of acids on the skin that turn over the skin at an accelerated rate. Like LSD? Yeah, totally.

Yeah. We take LSD, put it all over your face. We stay with you for the eight hour trip. We really talk through things. Yeah, they make you watch Doctor Who. We do some micro-needling. That would be so crazy if you were high on acid. Oh, this is going for so long. There's a TV on the ceiling, but it's just one channel. It's just the view. And so we

do that for eight hours, just the view on LSD. Oh my God. And, uh, yeah, no, it's so basically it just turns over the skin. You get like some flaking. So the surface of your skin kind of comes off faster. It just promotes what's already happening. Okay, what do you recommend for guys like that? Yeah, what's like you?

Other than sunscreen. Yeah. It depends how much pain you're okay with. Oh, I- Maximum. Yeah, hurt me daddy. There's something called Morpheus 8, which I feel like you guys would love. Oh, the Matrix.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, there's two pillsheus-8, which I feel like you guys would love. Oh, the Matrix. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, exactly, exactly. You took them both! I know. I know. Now let's watch Doctor Who. Exactly. Morpheus-8 is, it's a radio frequency microneedling,

so it goes a lot deeper into the face. It's gold-plated needles. It kind of is a stamping technique. And you can hear the seventh caller as they get on their tickets radio-frequently. Exactly. Right. Yeah.

Huh? Yeah. Your takes on this are perfect. I really want this to be the new descriptions on our website. Just freaking out about Morpheus for a second, Matrix. And then, Hello Caller number seven. But yeah, and then so it delivers like a heat energy

that tightens the skin and just kind of helps with overall skin texture. I did it on my dad earlier. Yeah, he loved it. You got some black eyes, you get black eyes. You get black eyes? I kind of have one right now, because I did it last week

Let's see. Yeah, you do a little bit healing better When you do these things is it like looks good immediately or does it look terrible? Okay So it has to heal and and the first I'm in my first like I've worked in the industry for like three years but I'm in my first year of doing like the treatments being a technician and It's really hard to watch people leave looking so fucked up. How long do they look fucked up for? Sometimes only one to two to three days,

sometimes a week. I've looked fucked up my whole life, what do I care? Yeah, exactly, what's an extra week? It's really not that much, but some people, you know, it's freaky to leave people and be like, bye, have a good day. And they're like, thank you. And they tip you from just injuring them.

Yeah. You get pretty good tips? a good day. And they're like, thank you. And they like tip you from just injuring them. Yeah. You get pretty good tips. Sometimes, yeah. Sometimes you get nothing because people are like, I've paid enough, which I understand, but yeah. Yeah, what is the industry standard? It's weird when you do a new thing and you're like, oh, we tipping for this?

Totally, totally. I get it. And I don't, yeah. I mean, most of my money comes from tips. So it evens out in the wash, but I get it. I still have great clients who don't tip. Because you said you get injections, is that right? Oh yeah, I get Botox.

Yeah, because your face is very smooth. Thank you. Yes, yeah. That's why I want it to be like a skating rink up there. Do you make conversation when you're doing these things or is it just let's get down to business? Or are they just like, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, there's kind of a, so for a lot of it, you have numbing, so we apply a numbing cream.

So for that whole process of like washing your face and applying numbing cream, there's a lot of talking. Once I turn the pen on, it kind of sounds like a lawn mower met a bunch of gravel. Once I turn the pen on, it kind of sounds like a lawnmower met a bunch of gravel. So it's pretty loud. So usually people aren't talking and they're in pain. So they're usually not really talking. Yeah. Cause the numbing cream doesn't work. It's a placebo. We just, we just like to see how powerful the human brain is, you know, and it's a frosted flake. It's like, yeah, we just slather that on.

Um, so yeah, I don't know. Some people feel it more than others. It really depends on a lot of factors, like where you're at in your cycle and what you guys don't wouldn't have that problem. David and I are synced up. Yeah, they're definitely synced up. I can tell. Yeah.

You guys are in your luteal phase together. Yes, the luteals, the gluteals. The gluteals, yeah. The follicular. The tooty frutio. I love it. This world of skincare fascinates me. Does it?

Yeah, I mean, we have talked about it before and I feel like, yeah, you're very receptive to it, which I love. Yeah, any of the face stuff, hair transplants I'm obsessed with. It's interesting, right? Yeah. It was weirdly taboo to talk about hair transplants for a while.

Like, oh, I think he's got a... And now everyone is like, oh, yeah, every famous person has them. Yeah. I mean, it's still kind of weird to talk about injections and stuff because there's a lot of judgment. Like, people think that it looks a certain... People think it looks overdone. Like people don't understand that. Like I have Botox, but I can still like look upset

if I want to. If you don't, if you can freeze it, you can really freeze it if you want, but you know. Well, I'll make you look upset. Yeah, I'll make you like, I got a few things to say. I'm gonna make you look really pissed off. But yeah, I don't know.

There is still a lot of people who don't like it, which is fine. But I think the more you talk about it, what's happened now is that because I do that and I'm in comedy, which are feel like two very different things sometimes, well, they are, but they are. That's what you do during the micro. One is I'm all surrounded by women in a little pink palace, and then the other one is I'm in a basement with a bunch of men. But what will happen is very opposite.

It does take a lot, there are a lot of basements, also a lot of breweries. Totally, totally. No, I'm like third floor in Yale town, gorgeous windows, high-end clientele, and then I'm in a basement. But the fun thing is kind of mixing the two. Like when I was training on treatments,

I got to bring in a lot of my friends for these free treatments, which are otherwise very, very expensive because I was training, but I had someone there with me, so it was safe and whatever. And so to see all these comedians like coming through, it was so fun. It was so, so much fun and so funny. But I've now become like the secret keeper for everyone's stuff. Like people will come up to me and be like, in 2014, I had lip filler, had it only had one time and it's mostly gone now. I was wondering if I should do it again. And I'm like, whatever you want.

How long does a lip filler last? Mine's been in there for years. Oh years. Yeah, yeah. So for some people it will go away faster if you metabolize it faster, but it's- Yeah, that's my problem. I metabolize it so fast.

You're having so many peaches and oatmeal. You know what? My lips are too juicy as they are. Yeah, you don't need it. I don't need it and I don't want it. No one needs it. No one needs anything. It's only if you know, it's a bit unhealthy. My lips are too juicy as they are. Yeah, you don't need it. I don't need it. And I don't want it. No one needs it. No one needs anything.

It's only if you want, it's fun if you want it. But people will come up and ask me things or tell me things and be like, I had Botox three years ago, don't tell anyone. And I'm like, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. I'm comforting them.

And other people are like, hey, I killed a guy. Just don't tell anyone. Yeah, I got Botox and then I murdered my husband, but don't say anything about the Botox. About the Botox. About the Botox. Exactly, it's a secret. Yeah, well, I won't pepper you with any more questions

about this, but I will pepper you more as ongoing. I wanna know more and more about skin stuff. Well, what would you do, Graham, like if you could? Would you go full Morpheus? Would you do the big heavy hitter treatment? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Go all in.

Well, maybe I'll try like a little one first. Like microneedling. Yeah. I think a normal microneedling, if you ever want to try something, really good place to start. Yeah. And what are we looking at cash wise? What's our?

$369. $369, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Start saving up now. Start saving up now. I'll see you in, let's say, 67. Yep. Yeah, start saving up now. I'll see you in, let's say, 67. You do the whole face with that? Yeah, and I know we're joking about eyes, but under the eyes, you can go real close to the lash line.

What about a guy like Graham who's all beard? Yeah. We wouldn't do the beard area. Nowhere where you have coarse hair. Do you think under that beard is probably so smooth? Yeah, because I haven't seen the sun in years? Probably.

Oh, that would be amazing if I have an old face up here and that is the most beautiful. It's protected. It's in the forest. It's in the shaded forest, right? Under here? Does that count in your hair on your head as well? Whatever's under your hair is fine? No, you got that psoriasis.

You got scalp psoriasis. Yeah, you got scalp psoriasis. Oh, you got scalp psoriasis. Not me. I had dermatitis. No, it depends on the thinness of, you got scalp psoriasis. Yeah, you got scalp psoriasis. Oh, you got scalp psoriasis. Yeah, not me, I got dermatitis. No, it depends on the thinness of your hair. Like my hair's kind of fine. So if your scalp can get burned, then it is good. Yeah, mine's what I call baby elephant hair.

It's very light and fluffy. Yeah, then you've got to have the haves. Look at Dave's, nice and thick. Yeah, you have a lot of hair, eh? I mean, I haven't been a turkey. No, okay, nice. You know what I mean. You know what I mean hair, eh? I mean, I haven't been a turkey. No, okay, nice. You know what I mean.

You know what I mean. I don't have a lot. You know what? It's got a good body. It's gotten better over the years. When I was a kid, it was just like, every haircut was a bowl cut. Really?

And then I figured out. How long did you rock the bowl? Like till grade 12. Holy. Like I figured out stuff to put in it. Yeah. I saw something about Mary and it gave me some ideas. You saw something, oh nice, something about Mary.

You kind of look something about Mary right now. Yeah, you do a little bit. You got to keep your pouty stuff a little bit jizzed up. Yeah, I've been jizzing up my hair. I've been jizzing up my hair, you know. I suppose. You've got a bit of a thing going on right there,

little rooster. Yeah, I'll tell you, this side of it just goes spiky, pokey out to the side, so I have to get a haircut. Yeah, the cowlick. Just, do you have to get this side done more than the other side? Just do the whole thing. Would you ever have a bowl cut again?

No, because I don't have, like I have like recession here, so a bowl cut would be weird. But you would have great coverage. It wouldn't happen. Would you do it if it was for a cause? Oh yeah, I do bull cuts for babies. Bull cuts for babies. The cause is just babies, they need our help. Yeah, whatever I'm a chopper's truck,

they say would you like to donate? Yeah. Sponsor me getting a bull cut and living with it. What if I put it down right now? What do we? Yeah, what do we see? I feel like. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, it could be bullish.

Can I bull it up right now? You could close to bull it. This looks like there's a picture of you. I just saw it. It is a close to bolus. I like that. I like that a lot. Yeah, it looks good.

Because you have a picture of you in high school, I think? Yeah, with my grad picture. And it's very what you just did. I feel like most people stopped the bowl at like, you know, I don't know, grade seven, eight. Well, it wasn't a bowl cut. Like there was no bowl. I went to a hairdresser.

They just put a bowl on your head, but that's okay. Yeah, it was fancy. Like you're calling there. It was a bowl. It was a Paul Mitchell bowl. Oh, nice. Yeah. Is that Vita?

No, but it was just like, well, also, I can't remember if back then it was the mushroom cut. Yeah. But like that was basically a bowl cut as well. Right. Yeah, they're the same, I can't remember if back then it was the mushroom cut. But that was basically a bowl cut as well. Right. Yeah, they're the same, I think. But I just couldn't basically. What's the difference? Like I didn't put anything in my hair in the morning.

I brush my hair, comb my hair, and then with water, and then when it dries, it all goes down into my forehead. When you have straight hair, you can do that. You can rock that. I always end up looking like Chad Kroger out of the shower. You got curly hair, but it have straight hair you can do that you can rock that you know I always I always end up looking like Chad Kroger out of the shower. Mmm. Yeah, you got curly hair, but it's straight up top. Yeah These curls naturally occurring yeah nice. Yeah, that's good luck. Thanks I actually didn't know I had curly hair until I was in my Naturally occurring? Yep. Nice. That's good luck. Thanks.

I actually didn't know I had curly hair until I was in my like 20s because I was brushing it out so much after swimming and it was green and frizzy and crazy and I just was like always trying to pull it back and it was always poofy. And then I realized that poofy hair means that maybe it'll curl if you let it go. Yeah, we learned a lesson. I didn't know I had curly hair until my 20s. That's great. I got 23 in me and they said, I'm half curly headed.

My name actually means curly headed. I found out that my name Cassidy means curly headed. Really? Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. My name means prematurely balding. I was like, as a kid, I was like, uh-oh. My name means weird spine.

My name means king. It's from the Bible. That's right. Yeah, it does, doesn't it? Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Well, nothing. Here's, I'm going to tell you what's going on with me. You're going to be like, wow, that was nothing. Okay.

So I was thinking about The game boggle, okay Pop-a-matic but no that's trouble. No, that's trouble boggle is the words the letters you jumble up And then you have to make the connection and in my mind. I was like well. That's yahtzee. Yeah, what's that's the dice? Well, then I was like what is yahtzee and I googled yazee, and instead of coming up with like the Wikipedia entry for Yahtzee, it was just play online Yahtzee. And so I've been playing Yahtzee online. And the website that does it is like the third result when you Google it. It is just the corniest website.

You're like, it's got like a little clip art guy. And when you win, you get a crown on your head. Are you having fun though? Do you like it? I play it all the time. So what what are the rules of Yahtzee? I don't really well, I'm not sure I've only played the game on losing every time to the computer, but you're playing a lot I like that the ad was just to play yahtzee. You're like, all right Well, it's me versus Bill. Okay. Bill's got a little mustache.

And I click roll dice and I have five dice. And then I got a one, two, a three, a two and a six. So I can choose, I can hold onto any of these. I got a one, two, three. So maybe I can get a straight. So I roll the other two. I got a four now. I can get a small straight. That's worth 30. Roll it again. Can I get a a straight. So I roll the other two. I got a four now. I can get a small straight.

That's worth 30. Roll it again. Can I get a large straight? No. So I'm gonna stick with that. And then it's his turn. And basically in this version of it, the only version I've ever played,

you're eliminating your possible things you can capitalize on your scores. Oh, okay. Okay. Are you prone to getting taken with online games? Well, games in general, yeah. What's your favorite game? There's this, I mean, there's this game I have on my phone called Hockey Legacy Manager.

Okay. Manager? Yeah. You're just pretending you have a different job? Yeah. That's the game? You, you, uh, if there was like convenience store manager oh god or more dr peppers really popularly attended well in the 80s there are games like that

there's like a cafe game it's a glass my daughter plays a game where you she's like she wrote down all these mixed drinks because there's like a bartending game. Isn't she like 10? Yeah. Oh, okay. She's gonna learn how to make an old fashioned somewhere. But it is like, you know, if your mind works in a way where you need to, where you like to do that kind of stuff,

it translates well to a game. But yeah, hockey legacy manager is the one that you manage a hockey team. But unfortunately, I can't play that for less than two hours at a time. Oh, you get really lost in it? Yeah.

Do you have to have conversations with the players? No, but if you have to basically play a whole season at a time and then, otherwise I just get lost. Like if I join the game, if I load my game again and I'm halfway through a season, I'm like, who are these guys? Yeah, and are these made up, these are season. I'm like, who are these guys? Yeah. None of these made up, these are made up guys?

No, they're real guys. And then, but it's not licensed by the NHL. Someone makes a roster, an amateur person makes a roster, but it's the guy who makes the game is making this roster. And it's, you can play for centuries. Like you can have your team go on and on and on. Wouldn't it be creepy to be a hockey player and know that there's so many people out there

like playing a game with you as like a little pawn. I think that's what you want. Yeah. Well, and the weird thing is that because you can play for so long, like if you have a child, your child can get drafted 18 years later. Oh really? you, like, if you have a child, your child can get drafted 18 years later. Oh, really?

This is like a full life game. This is like Sims, but for hockey management. Yeah. Wow. So does the, do the players- Do you get to choose a wife? Yeah, you get to choose a wife and she is stacked. She's always short, blonde, tons of filler.

I've seen them. They look the same. And she's like, I'm actually an interior designer. I mean, where'd you go to school for that? No, I don't know. I'm not. Yeah, 100%. So is it people that are currently playing hockey

or like from all it's likely, do you have a little Mew? You can go back to the 20s. Really? Wow. Yeah. And then, and they, I've done it once where you go back to the 80s and then like, there's only 21 teams in the league at the time, but then the new teams come in at the designated

year. Right. Wow. Is it less fun to play like the retro versions? More fun to play current or? No, it's all fun. It's all fun. It's all good.

It's kind of fun when you're playing the retro ones because you're like, oh, this player was drafted in real life. They were drafted in the seventh round and they went on to be a Hall of Famer. I can draft them whenever I want. I'm so curious about the family life like that you can choose a wife. Like, do you guys-

No, I made that part up. Oh, you did? Okay, okay, okay. Because you said they have a kid and they can be drafted. Yeah, I know. But that part is true is like when you'll just recognize a last name in the draft and you'll click on them and it says, oh, their father and their grandfather. Are you working within a budget?

Yeah. Oh, okay. There's like a salary cap. I was so convinced that you were gonna see them like woohoo like the Sims or something, the wife. There's like no, there's no. There's no life outside of hockey. There's no life outside of hockey.

And there's not even like faces for most of them. Oh, there's just jerseys? Yeah. Jerseys are like a silhouette for the head. I can see that being fun. You don't have like Bill and you, like you do in Yahtzee. Yahtzee, Bill, you have Bill as a face. Yeah. Full face.

Got a little mustache. Cute haircut. He's not losing his hair. He's got a great head of hair. He does. Oh, I don't know about that. No, I think Bill's doing fine. Who do you think is the best hair plug celebrity?

Like, that really. Steve Carell got a, it really didn't take for a long time, it looked pretty bad, and then it settled. And it looked really good. It looked really nice, yeah. Steve Carell got a good one. I didn't know that it didn't take, okay. It looked really bad in some of the seasons of The Office,

but it's not that it wasn't taking, it's just it was in its early stages, I think, where it doesn't look very good. But it also kind of worked because he seemed like a guy who would have bad hair. Exactly, yeah, totally. And I just saw a picture of Frankie Munoz with his. Oh, sure. It was fantastic.

Nice, nice, see, you can do it, you can do it everywhere. Oh, my algorithm for a while was giving me like, this is Justin Bieber in 2016. You can see he's starting recession. And then- Yeah. Oh, it shows you. That's cool.

What's the weirdest thing your algorithm gives you that you feel like is actually not related to what you've searched? Oh, we did a whole episode of- You did a whole episode of it. Oh, did you? About this. Okay.

Well, I'm gonna check my algorithm right now. Yeah, I wanna see what is, do you have yours off the top of your head? Because I look into aesthetics so much, it thinks I'm like 85 years 85 years old and it's always like do you need a facelift? And I'm like, maybe I guess and then the other one is that it thinks I have a very limited Vocabulary because it's always like do you sound stupid in conversation? Do you not know enough words? Yeah, and it'll try to be like superfluous and I'm like, I know what that means, bitch. I got it right now. Here's Bradley Cooper's hairline. Here's Machine Gun Kelly.

Oh, let's see Machine Gun Kelly's again. Machine Gun Kelly's looks pretty good. Yeah, that does look good. But is that shaved and then just grown out? I don't know, yeah. Sometimes I don't know, it's abating you. I wasn't really paying attention to him until recently. Oh, Yvonne, Jesus, still not good.

I don't know what my, for a long time my algorithm was sure I liked white women with dreads. Oh, that's pretty specific. Yeah, and I think, what is it most recently, I'm trying to think of all the, I do get a lot of stuff about hair transplants because I do look for that. Would you get one?

I would, but I feel like I've heard that you need multiple rounds and that they're incredibly expensive. I mean, if you fly to Turkey, you can kind of get it all done in, I think, a couple weeks, but it just depends. You can do the multiple rounds in a couple, I thought it was like you had to get around, let it sit. I get around, around, around, around, I get around.

Yeah. Yeah. Whoop whoop. Whoop whoop. Wee. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, mine is mostly guitar pedals and shoes. Yeah. Guitar pedals and shoes. A lot of foot stuff.

A lot of looking. A lot of shoe gaze stuff. Looking down, yeah. A lot of shoe gaze. Oh, that's the thing I learned in the past week. There's a scale of male balding that you like, you can look and I can think it's called the Foreman scale, the Froman scale. And it shows different.

I think I'm a four. Are you four? Maybe four or three. Let's get out those scale guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. Bring it up on the screen here. I think it's Froman F-R-O-M-A-N.

Like Abe Froman, the sausage king, if you're correct. On the scale of balding. Do men worry about this a lot? Balding? Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. All the time. Yeah. Being bald and being short.

Those are the two things guys think about. Yeah, that's fair. The Norwood scale. Norwood, yeah, okay. The Norwood, oh, look at that. It's just more Dracula. You think you're a four? You have a, do you have a crown?

Oh no, I don't have the crown. So I guess I'm a three probably. You'd be a three. Yeah, I'm a two or a three, but not three vertex with the little crown going. Yeah, no, I don't have a crown. It's all front retreat. When the spot starts appearing, like the bald spot up top, I think just get rid of it. It's like global warming, like just let the water level rise, you know? Yeah, that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to let the water level rise. It's like global warming, guys. How come there are-

I'm not saying we want it to happen. I'm just saying it's inevitable. We'll let it take you away. Let it wash you away. But there's like a generation of- And this is for guys with ponytails. This is the Ludwig scale. Oh, that's- And this is for guys with ponytails. This is the Ludwig scale. Oh, that's kind of at the bottom. They kind of look like a sumo wrestler a little bit. Why do they get a different scale with a ponytail? Why? Well, Ludwig is a different guy.

Ludwig and Norwood disagree on the balding. It's weird because they were like sort of their best friends before, but now they're more enemies. The ponytail divided them. There is an elastic between them. Why were there, like my grandfather kept the rim. Yeah, the horseshoe. Yeah, why guys don't do that anymore?

I don't think they should. My first ex was very bald and he just shaved it all. And honestly, I think it just looks nice to add a certain point for it to be uniform. I think it depends on the individual. I think Chris Lock looks great with his horseshoe point for it to be uniform. I think it's it depends on the individual I think Chris Locke looks great with he does Yeah, but it also I think it's uh, it's what kind of look you're going for like I think Oh crazy guy. Yeah Comedians comedians have fun with it comedians have fun with yeah

I think you know like I think if it depends on what you're if you want to be more like straight-edged or kind of like You know action then some people will shave the whole thing so they can like yeah, I shave my whole body. Yeah, yeah eyebrows They just grew back Micro blades chest hair. I would go to, I'd be like, yes, I need micro-needling. And I'd go and they would start microblading my eyebrows. And I'd be like, oh, I went to the wrong place, but I'm too embarrassed to stop them. Yeah, you wouldn't stop it?

No, you would just sit through it. That is great. Thank you so much. There's also thanks for the bowl cut. No. On Reddit, I've discovered that there's people who use hair growing serum on their face so that they can grow a beard Yeah, it works. That seems insane to me. You can do it on your eyelashes your eyebrows anywhere. You have hair follicles I yeah, you take one really ripe banana put it on your head. Yeah, what else was in it?

Did you ever see the peanut butter solution? No Was it peanut butter? Yeah peanut butter was clearly in it But there was also like, you know fish oil or what was it? What was it peanut butter? Yeah, peanut butter was clearly in it. Peanut butter was a thing. There was also like fish oil or whatever. What was it? It was this Canadian kids movie about a boy who went bald. And then he was visited by these two creepy ghosts. They weren't creepy.

They felt like real people. Were they his grandparents? They were some weird old transient people, but they were ghosts. And they gave him this recipe for the peanut butter solution, which is you put a bunch of stuff in a blender, then you rub it on your head. And then he woke up the next morning

and his hair has started growing. But here's the bad thing, it wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop. Oh, there's a Stephen King short story about this. But his friend is, they were like 12 year old boys and his friend was like, can I have some of that? Oh. And he ended up with his pubes coming out of the bottom of his pants.

Oh my God. I love that. That's awesome. That'd be so scary to have your pubes coming out of your pants. It would be, yeah. You're tripping on your, oh no. That feels like it hurts so bad. Think about that.

But they were like straight. Yeah. Well, it's something like that. Still, but like you catch it and then all of a sudden you're like, constantly being jolted up and down. Like you're twerking really badly. Hey, what are you doing? I'm twerking really badly. I'm not chirping on my pubes.

I promise. Anyway, so yeah, I've been playing Yahtzee and that's what's going on with me. What's going on with you, babe? So this past week, for the CBC radio production, the debaters, I flew to Victoria, BC, our provinces capital. And this is only happened to me once.

How far apart was the White Horse and the Victoria taping? White Horse was the week before, or Yellowknife rather, was the week before, and then this past week was Victoria. Wow, it's not usually weekly. No, but the Yellowknife's not big enough to have two nights of taping, because it just doesn't have the population. So then we did the second night of taping

at the McPherson in Victoria, the big one. You put the fears in McPherson. You know what, that's what the poster says. And this has only happened to me twice, counting this time in my whole life. I went, I was flying Harbor Air, so it was like seaplane. Because the other option was to go on Air Canada where you're in the air for 13 minutes.

But Harbor Air, you're still 13 minutes, but you land on the water. Yeah, and you don't have to go through security. Yeah. Yeah, and it's- Is that fun? And you don't have to go to the airport? No, you don't have to go to the airport.

And it depends on the Harbor Air office. Sometimes they have free candy. They definitely have free coffee. Did they have free candy this time? No candy at this one. The one on Salt Spring always has candy and cookies ready to go. Ah, okay. But I showed up, went to the counter. The one on Salt Spring always has candy and cookies ready to go.

But I showed up, went to the counter. My biggest concern was, does my bag weigh too much? I give them my name. She goes, your name's not on here. I was like, well, I think you better learn how to do your job a little better because I am on there. Can you spell? I put the McPherson McPherson and that's where I'm going.

Yeah. But yeah, she's like, you're not on the flight. And then I looked at my receipt for the day before. Oh no. It was a whole day late. Oh no, Graham. Yeah, it was a whole day late. Oh, were you a dollar short?

I was, believe me, I ended up a many dollar short. Has that happened to you before? Once, years and years, like when I was probably like 24 or something that I showed. And the reason that one was because I got confused of 12 or 24 hour clock. Oh. I thought 12 was... Midnight? Or noon? Noon, yeah. Noon, okay. I showed 12 was... Midnight or noon?

Noon, yeah. So I showed up a whole 12 hours late. But they let me fly standby on that one. So I got to where I was going. And this one, the advantage of Harbor Air is you can just buy a ticket on the spot. It's not like going to the airport, hey, I've got no bags.

I just wanna buy a ticket and you end up on a list. You feel like you're getting a bus ticket to like a great. It is just like, yeah. Yeah. And the, so I, my mind had to spring into action. I had to come up with like six different scenarios on how to get to Victoria. There's quite a few, there's quite a few possibilities.

Did you end up taking Harbor Air? I did. They were like, okay, we've got a flight at 2 p.m. Cause I was there for the 11 o'clock flight. They're like, okay, we've got a flight at 2 p.m. Because I was there for the 11 o'clock flight. They're like, we have one seat at 2 p.m. What does it cost? Depends on when you buy the ticket. Oh, last minute? Expensive?

Yeah, very expensive. Which is kind of weird because it would be empty if I didn't buy it. $100 and $200 and $300, $400? What? $400? $400? Yeah, but not like if you buy. What? $400. $400? Yeah, but not like if you buy in advance, $150. $150 and $25, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So they're like one of two, there's also another place that the harbor leaves from by the airport and they're like, they've got one at 230. I was like, I can get on the fast ferry, which goes harbor to harbor. Does that come, did that go to Victoria or?

Yeah, apparently it goes to- The hollow ferry? Yeah, maybe I was wrong about that, but that was one of the hollow ferries. And then, then traditional old ferry, but it wouldn't have made it, it would be tight. 11 o'clock to be there for 5 p.m. But she was like, you know what?

I can get you on this flight, very expensive. I was there with past guest, Miles Anderson, and he was just like, government waste, CBC. Oh, because you don't have to pay for it? Well, we'll see about that. Was Miles late as well? No, he was on the right flight. That makes sense for Miles. Yeah, for some reason I right flight. That makes sense for miles. Yeah, for some reason I said I would fly in the day before.

I can't understand why I said that I would do that, but yeah, it was the first time in like so, so long. Such a dunce. Did you get to the hotel and they were like, we were expecting you yesterday. So I called the hotel and I was like, did you guys, I was like, do you still have my reservation yesterday? Yes. Okay.

So I fly over, I get there, go to the hotel, check in, they're like, yeah, we still got your reservation. Here's your key. I go up to the room, they're like, the door's jammed, like the little lock thing. Oh. So I'm like, maybe I can poke it with this card.

Then a guy answers the door, he's in my room. Oh! Oh my God. Oh, so the door did open. It did, well, he opened it. Oh, okay. He was like, what's going on?

Like when you, when you, you got it like, open an inch with your key. Yes, yeah. Yeah, so I had the key, but this guy was like, what's going on, and I mean, look, if it had been me, I would have been absolutely naked. Yeah, at least not. And it's like, what's going on? And I mean, look, if it had been me, I would have been absolutely naked. And then it's him and he knocks on my door. I mean, it's definitely, I always do that,

that extra security thing on adult shows. Well, you should. Yeah, the little latch you have to. Yeah, yeah. You never know. Because the front desk is stupid. Yeah, 100%. And so they're very apologetic, but not to the point of like,

they should be apologetic to him. Yeah, yeah. He's naked in the, they should be apologetic to him. Yeah. Yeah. He's naked in them. He was in room 312. And go check him out. He's still there. I ended up in 407. But oh, the front desk, he was so embarrassed.

But not to the point of giving me anything to like, think if I threw a real fit, I probably could have got something for free. Yeah, that's how they respond. They respond to fits. Yeah. And hotel customers respond to it. But like, I do feel like got something for free. Yeah, that's how they respond. They respond to fits in hotel customers' rooms. But like, I do feel like he has the bigger grievance.

Huge! Yeah, if I were him, I'd demand whatever's the nicest suite of that hotel. Yeah, give me the Pro Blurone for free. Maybe that's why she didn't offer you anything. She was busy offering him the penthouse. Yeah. Yeah. So that was my voyage. I was close. It was really close, but I made it and I got into a hotel and they had a suite for me and everything. Nice.

I love that. That is so cool. Yeah, I'm surprised that I haven't done that before. Like it seems like a very easy thing to. It is. Or just like not getting the airport in time. This is so casual. They're pretty casual, yeah.

It's so chill. I find, I also- Like a cafe. Like a cafe, Sky Cafe. Yeah. Yeah. I get a little air sick with them. Yeah.

Just because it's so, I don't like boats. I like, I don't like going out on the ocean. Oh yeah, well. And it's like the- Boat in the sky. The smell of the dock is like a real headache inducer, all the gasoline and rotting fish. Yeah.

Yeah, I... What are you talking about? That's my favorite part. I love that. You don't like that? That's the best. Everyone loves that. The whole time from when I first step

into the harbor office, haba haba, is I'm worried about my phone going in the ocean yeah like touching my phone the whole time that I'm gonna go up to the dock you feel like you're getting on a water ride at an amusement park yeah you're like I don't want to drop this like I gotta keep this on me do I put it underneath like I'm that way at Camby and King Edward there's all the like it's above the SkyTrain and there's all the greats and the gates are just oh, yeah It would be the perfect size for your phone. Yeah, when you see those like slits. Yeah, like, oh, yeah

Oh, it's gone. But yeah, definitely like normally I see slits. I'm excited Give me more slits, I love a slit. I'm like, well, give me more slits. I love a slit, I'll put anything in a slit. I'll put my phone in there, fist in there, whatever you want. This slit, you can't have it. Yeah, and I've watched so many videos of people slowly falling into the water

trying to get on boats. Oh. It's just like, it's coming around. It'll be me one day, people will be laughing at, but. It's awful to see. I would rather myself fall into the water and my phone remain dry. Yeah, totally.

Than the opposite. I went swimming, this was one phone ago. So it's five or six years ago. And I went. It's a funny way to measure time. One phone ago. Well, if you're a different kind of guy. This was in the Blackberry age.

If you're a different kind of guy, one phone ago goes last year. Yeah, and also like, what's gonna happen to all your phones when you die? What do you mean? What are you worried about? Do you not keep, do you not, like how do you get rid of a phone?

I don't feel like I- What are you keeping on there? You're so worried about this. Nothing, I just don't know how to clear it off satisfactorily. Yeah, they get cleared off and then, but then also it's like- When you're on life support, someone comes in and clears up.

This phone I had, I'm gonna call your brother. It's not like it's useful to anyone else, cause I had it for five years. Yeah, and I don't have the plug-in to bring it back to life. But my phone, I was at the pool and I went in the pool and I forgot,

oh my God, my phone's in my pocket. The worst. And I think phones are like a little bit waterproof now. They're a little bit waterproof now. A little bit waterproof, yeah. They are the newer ones. Which pool? Well, you probably rank the pools at times.

Oh, I love to know about a pool. I love going to the pool. The pool's such a good time. Do you like blow everybody away with how fast you can throw? I thought you were gonna ask, do you blow everyone at the pool? I was like, no.

Yes, tell me honestly, do you blow everyone at the pool? That's DIY dentistry, that's what we're doing over there. No, I know. What are the big ones? It was either Hillcrest or Minoru. Oh, I love Minoru, such a good pool. Number one pool in the city. Honestly, because I like to sauna and I also love a slide,

I probably would say Minoru, but I love Eileen Daly and Burnaby because they also have sauna, steam room and slide. Nice. Yeah, I love a slide. Yeah and Burnaby because they also have Sana Steamroom and Slide. Nice. Yeah, I love a slide. Yeah. Got to have a slide.

Are you like... Do you ever go splashdown or big splash? Which one's that one? Tawasin, it's the water park? I'm going this summer. I've never been. I went to the Cultist Lake one last year, got whiplash on that big thing. That was really special.

But yeah, I'm going to go this year. I come from the land of Canada's Wonderland, which is pretty... And marine land. Oh yeah. Yeah, where you get a slide right into the whale tank. Exactly, and then the orca drags you under 15 times and make a documentary. I went to the one in Tawasin a lot as a kid,

and then I went to one on Vancouver Island when I was like 20, and I was like, oh, I'm too big to go on water slides. I like that whiplash thing. And then I took my kids last summer and it was great. I loved it. The Tawasin one? Oh, I'm so excited, I'm going in July. It'll be my's it'll be my first time and you do you have a kid that's in tow or you just gone?

No, God, no Absolutely, not yeah, I mean, I guess it's a little weirder for a man a little weird But you guys also go so shirtless like if you were a son shirt, they just be like, okay He just really loves waterslides. Yeah, I don't think they'd be like, why isn't that, what's that guy up to? I think if I was like a group of teen boys can get away with it, university kids. Or like a bunch of adults that look like they're like together, I think is okay. Yeah, we're swingers. Give us a break.

This is our foreplay, shut up. Yeah, do you guys have a swingers discount? Do you guys have two slides that cross and go into each other? That would be really fun for us, I think, if we could do that. This is our foreplay, shut up. Yeah. Do you guys have a Swinger's discount? Yeah. Do you guys have two slides that cross and go into each other? That would be really fun for us, I think, if we could do that. The scissor slide. Yeah, the scissor slide. Yeah.

Can I ride the upside down pineapple? The slit, that's called the slit. I went last year and I put sunscreen on my kids. Yeah. And then I, about three in the afternoon, I realized, oh yeah, I meant to put sunscreen on my kids. And then I, about three in the afternoon, I realized, oh yeah, I meant to put sunscreen on myself too. Oh yeah, I bet that's tough, eh? When you have children, you're like,

good, they're safe, they're on it, and then you forget about your children. Oh yeah, and then it was not as bad as it has been in the past. But, pretty red? Oh yeah. Pretty red, a little. But like, it wasn't, like I've had a bit, if you forget, it's painful for a week. What do you do for a sunburn?

Aloe's really good. Yeah. There's a couple things you can do. Yogurt. Yeah, it's Friday. No, but I do remember that being like a home remedy. Those weird home remedies. That's the peanut butter solution. You know what home remedies I, I've been debunked on this so many times, but, you know,

aloe vera I think is the best, but I thought Windex got out any stain because I watched my big fat Greek wedding and that's what they said in there. And then one time, okay, there's a little TMI, but one time I, um, I sharted myself awake. Like I woke up and I shit the bed. What do you mean this is TMI? Were you sick? No, I just think normally I make dinner, but Aaron made me dinner the night before being

very sweet because I had a long week at work. And he made me like this boiled meat that was just not good. And I just... I'm worried about this guy. Yeah, I know. This guy was just reading the boiled meat. He's mine. He boiled it in Windex.

He's just shitting herself. I have no idea why. So I woke up and I'd never really shit the bed before, but I shit the bed. And I was, we were still new enough in our relationship that I was like, I don't want to wake him up. I'd rather take care of this or try to. Anyway, so I go downstairs and I was, we were still new enough in our relationship that I was like, I don't want to wake him up. I'd rather take care of this or try to. Anyway, so I go downstairs and I'm panicking.

So I like go to the bathroom, clean myself up. And then I find I'm like walking around naked, like a gremlin, like just looking for this Windex. And so I find the Windex and I'm like, perfect. So I take it upstairs and I'm spraying Windex on the sheets and he turns over, he wakes up and he's like, he's like, honey, what's wrong? And he sees me cleaning a stain. He's like, oh, did you get your period? But this man is such a lesbian that he knows what my period is. And he's

like, wait, your period's up for another couple of weeks. And I'm like, like not answering. And then he's like, did you, did you pee the bed? And I was like, no. And he's like, did you shit the bed? I'm like, yes. And he was so fine with that. He was just so mad that I used Windex cause he was like, you just put chemicals in our bed. And I'm like, stop being so East Vancouver. Yeah, yeah. I would have moved. He would have woken up in the morning

and I would have been Cincinnati. Woo, bye. You know what works if you shit the bed for your sheets is the garbage. My garbage, yeah. Yeah. That's a foolproof solution. The trash. Yeah, he was really mad that I put Windex on them. But I thought it. That's a foolproof solution. The trash. The trash.

Yeah, he was really mad that I put Windex on them, but I thought it was going to get it out, you guys, and it really, it didn't. There's a story of a comedian, I'm not sure who it is, but that he, in a hotel, after a long night of drinking, shit the bed, and then his idea of how to cover it up was to spill coffee on it so it looked like a coffee stain. Oh my God. And whoever was the person that was cleaning up the room walked in as he to spill coffee on it, so it looked like a coffee stain. Oh my God. And whoever was the person that was cleaning up the room walked in as he was pouring coffee on it.

Oh my God. Come back in five minutes. That's so funny. That's so funny. We used the OxiClean. There's like three or four different versions of OxiClean, but when we had babies, we used the like child-friendly version, and that is the best

one. We've used it ever since on every stain. Oh, yeah? It's always more free and gentle. It's just better for you. Yeah, I don't know about beds. It's more effective. Okay.

So it works better for you. I mean, this is anecdotal. Yeah, sure. No, I'll take it because I need the... I can't keep getting my advice from Big Fat Greek Wedding. It's not going well. Yeah, what other advice did you get from you? Windex every time is that Apparently Windex was good for zits. I think I tried that once it's all Windex related stuff

Huh, I big fat Greek wedding, but we don't have a lot of other. Is that just a running joke like how everyone's named Nick Yeah, it is. It is everyone's named Nick. They've got the Windex thing and then there's the vegetarian. He's vegetarian, but they're like, okay, I'll make lamb. Like they don't. Right. Yeah. There was three of those movies. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. I think no one noticed the third one though. I did. I did. It came across from my feet. And she had a cross-eye. She did? Yeah. The main character had like a little bit of a lazy-eye cross-eye and I was like, there's hope for us all.

That's kinda cute though. I love it, I love when they do that in movies. Yeah, hope for us all. Yeah, 100%. Cause you see things, like people have been told crazy stuff when trying to break into film, like I think it was, like a little girl was told, like you'll never really be in the movies

cause your cheeks are too chubby, in terms of like how the lighting catches the... And that lady was... And that lady was, she was playing Amy Poehler's daughter, or no, Amy Poehler's young version in Trainwreck. Oh, okay. I don't think she's any... I was hoping it would be like...

Okay. So she actually didn't make it, and it was true, okay? Yeah, I was like, that lady was Drew Barrymore as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I, no. She's an unknown and she didn't make it because her agent was right. Her Jews were too big. On one of the other podcasts I worked on,

we interviewed Ronnie Chang from The Daily Show and he was in Megan, that's why we were talking to him. That's right. But he talked about getting into acting. He was like, his big inspirations were Arnold Schwarzenegger and Salma Hayek, because it was like, oh, I don't need to lose my accent. I can be in movies and just be myself.

Yeah. There's a lot of stuff like that around the acting world where people want to make rules, but then there's like people who break those rules or people who get cast and, you know, and it always kind of proves it wrong, you know, which is kind of fun. Yeah, not for that kid with the cheeks.

Not for the kid with the cheeks, RIP. RIP. Oh, is she dead? No, I don't know, actually, I shouldn't be talking about it because I have no idea where she is right now. She can be very successful famous, she can be on TikTok, she can be dead. I have no idea.

Really shouldn't be commenting on this kid, I know nothing about it, I just remember that story and being like, damn it, I have chubby cheeks. I got called a bulldog when commenting on this kid. I know nothing about I just remember that story and being like damn it I have chubby cheeks. I got called a bulldog when I was a kid That was everyone was going around being like what animal do you look like and because I have chubby cheeks They were like you look like a bulldog because you have big hanging cheeks. I was like, thanks I don't see bulldog now. I'm trying to think Does the aesthetic

Yeah, we're really you know, we really got it back there really like wind. Yeah Oh, I had we had a bulldog and we took another vet. They had a medical aesthetic over there Yeah, they micro needled him and now he's a Your niece Should we move on to some over-hears? Yeah. Sure. Are you a five-star baddie?

If you answered yes, then Black People Love Paramore is the podcast for you. Contrary to the title, we are not a podcast about the band Paramore. Black People Love Paramore is a pop culture show about the common and uncommon interests of black people in order to help us feel a little bit more seen. We are your co-hosts Sequoia Holmes, Jewel Wicker, and Ryan Graham.

And in each episode we dissect one pop culture topic that mainstream media doesn't associate with the black people, but we know that we like. We get into topics like ginger ale, the golden girls, black romance, UNO, and so much more. Tune in every other Thursday to the podcast that's dedicated to helping black people feel more seen. Find Black People Love Paramore on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. One thing we all have in common, we all have a mind. It makes me so scared because I'm like, when is the bad thing going to happen?

And minds can be kind of unpredictable and eccentric. Everybody wants to hear that they're not alone. Everybody wants to hear that someone else has those same thoughts. Depression Mode with John Moe is about how interesting minds intersect with the lives and work of the people who have them. Comedians, authors, experts, all sorts of folks trying to make sense of their world. It's not admitting something bad if you say, this is scary. Depression Mode with Jon Moe. Every Monday at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts.

Overheard. Overheard is a segment where if you hear it, we want to hear it too. It's only fair. And if you have one, you can send it in to SPY at maximumfun.org. We always like to start with the guest. Cass? Yeah. Lead the way.

So I was at the sauna, because I love the pool. And I was- How long do you stay in the sauna? Well, you do circuits, you know? Like you do 15 minutes. You do circuits? Yeah, yeah. You better.

Yeah, you do, you do try to do 15 minutes and then two minutes in the cold plunge. Okay. There is a cold plunge. And then do you go back? Yeah. So 15 to 15 to? No, 15 to 20 minutes rest.

You gotta rest. Otherwise you go a little loopy. Oh, 15 to 20 minutes rest. Yeah, yeah, you gotta go a little loopy. Oh, 15 to 20 minutes rest. Yeah, yeah, you gotta rest. If you don't, I think you'll mess yourself up. Yeah. I used to be really bad at the cold, but I'm getting better at it.

You ever do sauna more than steam room? Yeah, steam room hurts my nose. I go into the steam room and I feel like all my nose hairs are fried off at once. Is it very eucalyptus-y in there? Yeah, and it's heavy. It's like, and then people will shower in the steam room to give it more steam. And I'm like, I just hate this.

Don't shower. Yeah, you shouldn't be showering in the steam room. Yeah, go away. Yeah. You know? And it's cold water, so they go in there all like, na, na, na, and then they sit in this steam bath they created, and I'm like, I just feel like I'm breathing in your fumes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry I interrupted.

No, that's okay. No, I'm happy. Anyway, so I was at the sauna and we were doing the rest portion actually, where you just kind of chill. And there was this group of friends and there was this like really big, tall, boisterous, loud, gregarious man. And then his little girlfriend who was saying nothing, classic Perry.

And he was talking about his friend and he was like, no, you'd love Jacob. He's so cool, he's so great. He's a little consensually challenged. Ew. Yeah. Yeah. I know, and I was like, there's a word for rapist I've never heard before. You know, like, oh my God.

Consensually challenged. Yeah. And then he kept talking about him as if he was a great guy and I couldn't, they left. He's great except for that one thing. Yeah, the one thing that he does. And I was like, who told you that you could just consensually challenge with something that you should make up about someone?

Maybe it's that just like, I don't want to even. I know, I know. I'm trying to think of an innocent version where he's like, yeah, you know. Holds a handshake too long. Yeah, did you? Like he's like Lenny from Of Mice and Men and just loves to, loves a long hug, you know.

I mean. Pants fancy too. Oh, like he borrowed my towel without asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Yeah, that could be. It could be. It could be.

Yeah. He was saying it in such a fun way, there may have been another meaning or maybe he just like slaps all his friends' butts in the change room and all his friends are like, stop it. Yeah. We're not a hockey team. Like, no. Right, right.

Yeah. Knock it off. Stop jerking me off. We're not on the... We not a hockey team. No Stop jerking me off Every sport does a different thing in the yeah, yeah room. Oh, they love each other. It's the it's so cute Actually, it's my favorite part of sports. Yeah, but it gets gay in there Oh sure, and that's the thing that I was challengers. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah but like When people would say oh, that's just locker room talk. I've never talked to anybody a locker room a whole Yeah, you're like I keep doing only one person has said that's locker room talk. Wow But he's the good guy

Dave do you have it over her mind an overseen? Oh, yeah, I'm gonna pull it up on my computer because speaking of algorithms and what we're being fed, I keep getting these ads for Tmue. Oh yeah. Tmue, the Chinese site that sells things. Oh, okay. Like on eBay? It's not like a... Oh no, isn't it more like Amazon?

Isn't it like Amazon? It's like if Shien of. Oh no, isn't it more like Amazon? Isn't it like Amazon? It's like Shein, it's like if Shein made Amazon products. Okay. So like instead of clothes, which are just, Shein's like clothes for women, Tmoo's like stuff. Stuff. Yeah. We used to make jokes about Wish.

You'd be like, this is the Wish version. And now they're like, this is the Tmoo version. Wish used to send me an ad for what looked like a panty hose with like a penis panty hose. And it was like pulled out. A panty hose with a penis panty hose. Yeah, it was like a pantyhose with a penis pantyhose. And it was pulled out. A pantyhose with a penis pantyhose. Yeah, it was like a pantyhose underwear but with a hole and a penis sling.

But there was nothing inside of it. It just was tugging it out to show it. And it really wanted me to buy this thing. And I was like, what is this? I would have. Let me try this out. I think, yeah, there's penis pantyhose out there. You guys, you wanna check it out?

I do. So two things. Uh, uh, Team U seems to think my name is Jeff. Not a king. So I get advertised a hat that says, I'm that legendary Jeff you've been hearing about. It's so long! It's such a long thing to put on a hat! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHA It's so long. It's such a long thing to put on a hat. And another hat that says, of course I'm right, I'm Jeff.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Why does it think he is Jeff? And then I also get advertised this T-shirt which is just like a every T-shirt model is the same. It's this like super buff guy in his twenties, big tattoos, big muscles, super tight t-shirt, and then the graphic on the shirt changes depending on what the shirt is.

And it's this young fit guy, but it's the t-shirt says, I can't trust a fart at my age. Oh, hey! Windex, Windex, add for Windex, add for Windex. Oh my god, that's so funny. Of course, I'm Jeff. Legendary. It just feels like such a long text for a hat. What's that legendary Jeff you've been hearing about? Who's he been hearing about?

Everyone's been talking about, you've been hearing about? Let me double check this. What's Jeff been up to? Why are we hearing about him so much? Oh, so funny. I love that it gave you two Jeff things. I'm that legendary Jeff everyone is talking about. Oh, hopefully for good reasons.

Hopefully not because he's consensually challenged or something. What was that one, Brian Wilson just passed away and he, there was a bit of an interview asking him about his favorite film. Oh, Norbit. Norbit, yeah, he's talking about the movie Norbit. Yeah, what's the last movie you saw? I don't see too many movies.

The last one I saw was probably Norbit. It's so funny. And then the next question was, what's your favorite movie? Norbit. And I saw somebody was probably Norbit. It's so funny. And then the next question was, what's your favorite movie? Norbit. And I saw somebody had a hat with that on it. I love that. That's pretty cool.

That's clever. I like that niche reference. My overheard comes from taking a train home on a Friday night. So, you know, everything's on the table and it was... Like Skytrain? Yeah, Skytrain. Sitting at the station, there was a voice on the intercom. I couldn't see the guy, but it said,

to the man in the pink sweater swinging around the security gate, we will call the cops. And then there was a pause for a couple seconds, then to the man now dangling your feet off the platform, we will now call the cops. This guy was busy. The man in the pink sweater was... Was this a...

Oh, they were swinging. Was this, were you on the platform when you heard this? I would, no, I was on the train and the doors were open. Oh. They were on the other platform. Oh, could you see them? No. No, you just heard about it. I just knew that he had a pink sweatshirt. Pink sweatshirt.

Leaving your legs dangling off the side of the platform. Wild behavior. You have to be on like mushrooms to do something like that. I'll see you just a teen, you know? I'll see. You don't think you're ever gonna get one. I? I mean, every time I take the SkyTrain, I'm like, I'm gonna fall. I'm gonna fall onto this if I'm not careful. Which is so weird because it really is true.

Like when you're younger, you just don't think about all these ways that you could die and then you get older. I'm pretty sure I always did. Did you? Yeah, you were nervous. You were there with the bull cut. No, no, not nervous, but just like, oh, that's, that's a looming possibility.

Yeah. Yeah. You thought about death a lot? Yeah. Yeah. Like it could, this could all end in a second. Yeah. I guess that's nice. Cause then you're prepared for when you get older.

Cause for me, it's just ramped right up. Like all of a sudden I see death everywhere. Yeah. And I'm like, whoa. But when you were, you were young and you never thought about. No, I like snorted a pixie stick once. Cause I was like, what's the worst that could happen?

Did you do that now if somebody dared you? Maybe. Okay. Yeah, but I would think about that I could die and I would feel really paranoid about it after. Imagine? Yeah. Do you like the final destination movies?

I did, I saw the last one though and I was pretty unimpressed. Was that not good? They repeated some of the deaths, I was like, you can't do that. You can't repeat the stuff that you did. It was only at the end they did, but the first opening scene I really loved, like that first

big death scene was really fun. But yeah, it wasn't. It was great. Administering returns. Yeah. I know. Now you said you had another overheard. Oh yeah, this is, it just got me thinking.

I was walking by this patio and I heard, you know when servers are trying to make small talk with people with children and it's kind of like awkward but they just obviously like want a good tip and they also want to get your order and they're kind of like, but then the people, I feel for the people because they have a baby and so they're trying to figure out how to like have lunch and have a baby. Yeah. Anyway, so the baby. Can't have both.

Can't have both. Can't have both. Or you'll show yourself. But no, she was sitting there, this couple, and this mother had her baby, and the baby was climbing all over the thing, and the waiter was like, oh, look at him, isn't he so just active and whatever? And then she was like, yeah, he's busy.

And I just realized that we always say that, we're always like, yeah, he's so busy. And I'm like, what's the baby busy with? Like the baby's just crawling. Quarterly report. Yeah, exactly. Deadlines. The baby doesn't have a schedule, but we're always like, he's busy baby busy with? Like the baby's just crawling. Quarterly report. Yeah, exactly. Deadlines. The baby doesn't have a schedule, but we're always like, he's busy.

Maybe stressed out, stressed baby. Maybe stressed baby. I wonder if the baby feels busy. I mean, yeah, to the baby, everything's busy. Yeah, everything's busy. You gotta keep your baby busy, otherwise the evil creeps in. Oh, that's the thing that I kept getting.

I'm not sure why. Maybe I just clicked on it once, but a parenting tip that instead of giving your kid a little kid a screen, like a kid that's still high chair, give them like put a bunch of peas in water and a Ziploc bag and just take that to the table and that it's like sensory. Oh, that's cool. I think I would like that now. Yeah, no, when I watch it, I'm like, that seems really nice. That seems like really nice.

Oh, there's so much of that. When our kids were in preschool, there was this table that was just like, it was just like the sensory station. Yeah. And there was a table that was just full of lentils. Oh. And you just like, instead of sand, because you can, I don't know. So fun.

But then my daughter kept eating them. That's fair. It looks like food, it looks like snacks, it looks like cereal. I love that kid stuff though where you see it and you're like, I would just like this now. Like there used to be a thing at the Toronto Aquarium, I don't know if it's still there,

but it was like a touch pool. Yeah. Scary for the fish probably. But there was cleaner shrimp in it and they would clean under your fingernails. So the shrimp would come and like clean and they would clean under your fingernails. So the shrimp would come and like clean and like get everything under your fingernails and it was so satisfying. And they were just that close that the clinic that you're going to. Yeah, yeah, that's called micro shrimp. I've seen the fish that do the pedicures. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

what they're doing. It's similar, right? But the shrimp have like these kind of long things that they really get in there, like right underneath it. And the kids love it, but oh, I stayed there forever. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah.

Highly recommend. Now there's so much, I guess, what did we have when we were like, there's slime that's like for the purpose of when we were kids, slime was like gross. Yeah. Now it's like you buy a thing of slime and you play with it and you. We had Silly Putty. Yeah. Which is kind of. And I think when I was into Ninja Turtles,

we had ooze. Sure. A jar of ooze. Did you guys ever have those squeeze tubes that was candy? It was like just a squeeze tube of like gel, sour gel. Have you ever had the squeeze tube

that's like a little dick? Oh yeah. That's like the liquid tube that like. Liquid tube dick thing. That like you can't hold it in any other way than. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Liquid tube that like. Liquid tube dick thing. Yeah. That like you can't hold it in any other way than. Yes. Yes. So exciting.

Squirt it. Shoot it. Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it in to SPY at maximumfun.org. Org. No, it's not org. This is Brad from Indiana. I was at the grocery store and two 20 something women walked by.

One said to the other, here's the top two things I'm scared of. Number one, human centipede. Number two, my mom. So I'm not afraid of human centipede because the human centipede themselves, they're not scary. They're more afraid of you than you are of them. Yeah, but I'm afraid of becoming one. I think everyone's fear is becoming the middle person in human centipede.

I really wouldn't even like being the last. No, but the last person dies sooner because of all the toxicity. The middle person, in the movie anyway, stays alive. So then you're just alive. And the first person lives a full life. Yeah, the first person is actually killing it. Yeah. Yeah.

Eat a subway sandwich, no worries. He has a job in finance and he's doing great. They give him door dash. Yeah, he's graduating university. He wrote his essay on what it was like to be first. Now in the human centipede universe, only women or? What do you mean? universe, only women or? What do you mean?

Like is only women being attached to one another or is there also felis getting? Have you seen the movie? I've seen maybe the first half hour of it and then I tapped it. Turn it off? No, in this one, I believe the woman is in the middle. There's maybe two women and one man

or two men and one woman, I don't remember. But the man is in the front. Classic. I know. Leading the back. Yeah in the front. Classic. I know. Leading the back. Yeah, the human centipede is very anti-feminist. In that way. They want only women to eat shit and die.

That's the, yeah, that's really it. That's Hollywood. That's Hollywood, yeah. I know, it's so unfair. I want everyone to eat shit and die. Yes, give me equal opportunity, Jeff. Thanks. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Jeff said eat, sit and die, so I ate, shit and died. This next one comes from Victoria in Wisconsin. I was on a plane from New Orleans to Denver, two rows back, from a 20-something year old guy who looked like he belonged in the early 2000s stoner comedy. Okay, we can all picture that. He spoke very loudly throughout the flight i had headphones on for most of it when we landed i took them off to hear him say one time i drank three four locos in an hour and i had to get my stomach pumped why did that happen

that's 12 locos i've uh are you guys four loco you've had. I haven't, but I want to really bad. Why don't you do it? Did they change the recipe? I don't know. Like, cause it was. Was it too awful? It was really dangerous. Yeah.

It was like, oh, we got to drink this before it gets banned. Yeah. But they're only in the States, right? Or are they here? I don't think I've seen it here. I know more by reputation. I think health Canada stopped that shit. FDA was like, whatever.

Health Canada was like, no. Four Loko. Four Loko premium malt beverages. Is Four Loko banned in Canada? This is according to fourloko.com. They have a whole page based on this. It's been 20 years. Was it alcoholic?

In Canada, it's illegal to mix caffeine with alcohol, but we removed caffeine from our ingredient list as, but it's still in there. But we removed caffeine from our ingredient list as part of a voluntary product reformulation in 2010, which means you can enjoy it across the border. To see where ForLoco is available near you, check out our product locator.

Nice. Whoa, okay. Locator. Maybe, yeah. Now, this last one is in the over-dreamt category, check out our product locator. Nice. Whoa, okay. Locator. Maybe, yeah. Now this last one is in the over-dreamt category. This follows in Dave's footsteps of having extremely boring dreams.

One, for example. I had a dream that the whole part of the dream was my travel agent was retiring. Another one that I was with some guys fixing a garage door. What was my recent boring dream? That you were playing Yahtzee? Oh no, that's my life. My boring online life. Go to sleep and play Yahtzee? Forget what my recent boring dream was. I did too. Do you ever have a boring dream? Oh no, I needed to get, I needed to fill out some forms

so I could get the royalties on a song I wrote. Oh, nice. A form-filling dream. I love this. The hockey management, the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, my boring dreams are all like, something needs to get done, and I just have a really hard time doing it. It's a panicky.

I mean, it's not always panicky sometimes, it's just I'm really slow and I keep getting distracted really hard time doing it. It's a panicky. Yeah. I mean, it's not always panicky. Sometimes it's just, I'm really slow and I keep getting distracted and you know. That's my, yeah, I get a lot of those where I'm like, oh, this thing is due and then I wake up and I'm like, kind of relieved. Yeah. I don't have to do that. Yeah.

Like, thank God that thing isn't due, yeah. So this is in that category. This is Christian in Washington, DC. There's two of them. Mm-hmm. One dream. There's two Christians in Washington, DC.C. There's two of them. In one dream, I was trying- There's two Christians in Washington, D.C. I think there's a lot more of my-

I was on my way to bed. Nice work. In one dream, I was trying to plug in my monitor at work and then realized they've given me the wrong type of cable. I said, what the, and then woke up. Ha ha ha ha. What the? That's awesome though.

Wrong type of cable is great. Just so low stakes and who cares? And then waking up. Yeah. That was dumb. What's yours, Graham? Do you have a boring recording? No, I don't have a lot of boring dreams.

I've said before on the podcast that I have a lot of repeat locations and themes. Okay. Yeah. So I like, there's a house that I'm always in and there's like a hotel that I'm in a lot. There's a guy in there. There's a guy in there. It's room 312. He's in there. I have to go to 407. It sucks. Yeah, exactly. No compensation.

In the other dream, I was walking towards an escalator to go down one level in the mall right as I was about to step on the escalator. I noticed it was going up, not down. So I said, oops, and woke up. I liked the little like, what the oops, it's so cute, the little aww, so sweet, just a little mundane. You woke up so quickly in the middle of the night, aww, not on an escalator. I do get those ones where you're like falling asleep and then you're not quite asleep because you're you're like whatever there's a reason for it but you like kick and you wake yourself

up yeah yeah it's like going into REM I think yeah or you're like REM the the whatever part of your like process god people hate when we're talking about science. Whatever part of your brain that shuts off your body has not shut off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, barbiglia disease. Yeah.

What's that? Do you know the comedian Mike Barbiglia? No. He's a sleepwalker. Yeah, he was a famous sleepwalker. Sleepwalker. Got it. Okay. Yeah. In addition to over-hearts that he did. Got it, okay. Yeah.

In addition to overheads that are written in, we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos. Got a voice memo? Send it to WSBY at maximumfun.org. And if you want to call us, it's 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spypod one.

Like these people have. Hey Dave Graham and possible guests. This is David calling from Philadelphia. My three year old daughter was sent home from school with some slime to play with. Oh. And she calls it SLAM. So she was playing with it and it fell on the floor. And I said, uh oh oh your slime fell on the floor

and she looked at me and said that's okay Dada that's just what slam do. All right thanks. Words to live by. Cute. That's just what slam do. That's just what slam do. Slamming in slits. Yeah.

Yeah it's a relaxed attitude towards life just let it flow. Yeah. It's a it's a relaxed attitude towards life. Yeah flow Yeah, easy come easy go. You know, I didn't know I work for the slam Yeah, it's just gonna do what it's gonna do. Let it be that's the thing Probably you're more of a slam expert because you've you've had two kids Does it get a lot of you drop on the floor? Does it collect a lot of lint in the hair and all that kind of stuff? Or is it easily does it not observe those things? Of course it does. Still they haven't made any advancements. Yeah, it's made out of the thing that like the homemade one

you can make yourself is made out of glue and laundry detergent. So it's sticky. Oh, sticky. It's sticky, okay. Can I collect some things, yeah, some cereals. And laundry detergent. I forget, I think that's we-

That's how you remove shit from your hands. We tried a lot. We tried a- I need it, I need to go- That's how you remove shit from your hands. We tried a lot. We tried a lot. I need it, I need to go buy some. Like during the pandemic, we tried a lot of the homemade recipes. But none of them were as good as the store-bought. You gotta go store-bought.

Is it because you didn't wanna go to the store? It was just because we were bored at home for years. Is that what, is, yeah, I like to know what people's pandemic little hobbies where I saw yours was making slime? Yeah. Other ones? I mean, I did a lot of yoga. Nice. And I did- Home yoga.

I did, I don't know, it was bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your eyes went dark, I'm sorry. We had very small children in the beginning of the pandemic, it was not fun. Yeah, I'm sure. Mine was just lying quietly with my eyes closed. Wow, so nice.

A dad nap. Yeah, what was yours? I would do, I lived with my parents for the first little bit because it was right after my divorce and also a dark time, but I got this thing where I would do wine tasting. So I would set up a computer and put like a vineyard on the screen and then get some wine from the liquor store and like blind taste test it for them and give them like little profile tasting. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. And I would make latkes. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I got good at cooking. I feel like in the pandemic. Yeah. Yeah. I've regressed. I lost my ability to cook. Like I can boil. I can I can fry. Yeah, you can boil meat. That's all you need. You boil meat, don't boil meat. Sally wakes up sharting every day. It's very British to boil meat. And I feel like that. And British to take a shit in bed.

Yeah, it is, it is. Winston Churchill used to do it all the time. I blame the meat, but it might've just been me. Yeah, do you think Winston Churchill will probably shit himself, right? Yes, definitely. You've seen that, right? Yes. Definitely. You've seen that man?

100%. I just never thought about it till right now. Will shit on the beaches, will shit in the skies, et cetera. I think a lot of those guys, they were incontinent. We didn't know a lot about health back then. That's true. Hygiene, I feel like they maybe had weird moles. They weren't one on sunscreen for sure

But it was England so you could get away with that. Yeah. Yeah. Here's your next phone call Hello Dave and Graham and wonderful guest This is Ali calling from Vancouver with an overheard I was recently traveling for work and my colleagues took me to an intentional Japanese DJ listening party. So our phones are taken away from us, the lights were turned low, and we were meant to just sit and sort of meditate with the music. And there was an older gentleman sitting next to me

and he fell asleep in the middle of this DJ set, which was pretty intense actually. Like it was a lot of electronic music, so good for him. And in the middle of his snooze, he stood up, sleepwalking, out of nowhere and yelled, rotOTISSERY DOG! And sat back down, fully asleep still. Interrupted the whole thing.

The funniest part about that to me is that this old man was likely dreaming about glizzies. No frequent lane. Mmm, glizzies. Love a glizzy. Um. When did it become a glizzy? I don't know. I don't know, I hate the word. Hot dog is good enough.

Hot dog rules. Hot dog is great, hot dog. It's like punctuation to it. I mean, she's putting that on him. I think he's dreaming of a rotisserie canine. Yeah, that's what I was picturing. I was actually picturing a wiener dog. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Best of both worlds. Glizzy dog. Yeah, both, a glizzy dog. A literal hot dog. Best of both worlds. Yeah, both a glizzy dog. Literal hot dog. Weiner. I saw a sign, speaking of a weird meditation in the woods, I saw a sign for,

on a post that said, oh, there will be a one hour meditation with horses during this Ulstis. Meditation with horses. Okay. During this Ulstis. Meditation with horses. Okay. During this Ulstis sounds kind of epic. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. You had to go to Squamish for it. Sea Biscuit. Worth the trip. Might have been Sea Biscuit. Yeah, that's what you call it if it's in Squamish, Sea Biscuit. Just raise some and go to the sea.

Oh, sure. Sure, yeah, why not? Here's your final phone call. Hey, James Graham and miraculous guest. This is Sean in Virginia and I haven't overheard I was just at a bar and the people at the table next to me were talking about a wedding one woman said if they come out and dance to

woman said, if they come out and dance to Kiss Me by Six Pence and I'm the Richer, I'm going to kill myself and I'm going to make a big scene of it. All right, off I go. I thought it was going to be, if they do that, I'm going to make a lot of money because we all bet on what the song was going to be. Because I wrote Kiss Me by Six Pence and I'm the Richer. They don't play hockey manager, they play wedding planner manager. Oh, you can really get into that. Yeah, that'd be fun to play like which songs are going to play at the wedding. What would you say is the number one best song to first dance song at a wedding? Ooh.

Mine is Thriller, so go on. I don't know, I think Harvest Moon could be cute. Harvest Moon is cute, yeah. And this is a cute one. It's a classic. If it's, I mean like the first slow dance with the... Yeah, the don't know. I think harvest moon could be cute. I was really cute. Yeah, it's it's a classic if it's I mean Like the wedding first slow dance with the yeah the first load. I mean, it's whatever is yeah, whatever is meaningful to you Nickelback they go back Check out well, there's Dream Wedding Planner Game.

That seems to be the biggest wedding planner video game. We're going to r slash cozy gamers. Just wondering if there are any wedding planner games. You see, I think a lot of people would like that. Yeah. The Imagine series on the Nintendo DS apparently had some. I get it. I can see you putting together the different...

I love the show that was on for a long time called Four Weddings. I love Four Weddings. Four Weddings is such a good show. I loved it when they were in the planning stage, and I loved seeing those ladies tear each other down. And the cuts were so good because they'd be like, I love a country wedding. The last thing I ever want is to get married in the city. And then it would be like, cut to the next bride.

And she'd be like, I'm a metropolitan queen. I love to be downtown in the city. I hate barns. And it was so fun. I hate barns. Well, her cake was OK. The first dance was thrilling. The city one would show up at the farm one

and just be like, oh, my god. We're sitting on bales of hay, like so mad. So much fun. My fear is when the venue is too hot. Oh yes, or it was summer. I mean, we're just outside. Yeah. We're mad about it.

I think every reality show should have the too hot to handle aspect of, is that what it's called, too hot to handle? Oh yeah, where they all turn around. People are all not allowed to have sex. That's awesome. At weddings especially, that's so good. I came with my hot husband and I wasn't allowed to fuck up.

Yeah, I lost $10,000 from the jackpot. There was, on too hot to handle the last season, they were introducing the different people and they would say like, you know, I'm good at sports, so you better watch out out because it's gonna get athletic and then there was one girl just like I'm the ultimate fuck girl I was like you know her parents are probably at home like what she was gonna be like I did ballet for 12 years

You're not the ultimate fuck girl. Your mother is. Yeah. Yeah. Ha ha. You have not taken the crap from your mother. Ha ha ha. And on that note, thanks for listening. Where can people find the podcasts?

Everywhere you can find music. Oh. Spotify, Apple Podcasts. And you do shows all over town. You traveling anywhere, doing any shows in the summertime? I'm doing the Pender Island Comedy Festival at the end of August. So, I'm there August 29th and 30th, which is cool, and then just around the city for the rest of it.

Yeah. Yeah. I hate the city. I hate Barnes. I hate city comedy. I only go to Barnes and Abbotsford. If I'm not going there, I'm not doing it. Well, thank you so much for being our guest.

Thank you so much for having me. I had so much fun. And thank you everybody out there for listening. In the meantime, I want you to think about what your favorite slow dance wedding song would be, and then commit to it. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.