Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 906 - Rachel Schaefer

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

Comedian Rachel Schaefer returns to talk adult dodgeball, book redistribution, and Jurassic World Rebirth. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 906 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who we just agreed before we were recording that we're the kings of crop tops, Mr. Dave Schuck.

Yeah, I do. It's really like- We're both wearing them right now. My worst feature, even when I'm in my best shape, it's like- Lower belly? It's muffin top season. Man, is it ever muffin top season? It's muffin top season and it's bad...

LeRoy Brown? Tattoo season. Oh yeah, for sure. Here's a look I don't understand. We'll introduce our guest this time. No, that's not. Let's just... Let's just rip?

Let's do a solo ep. Is people have one leg tattooed and then no tattoos on the other leg? I find it very unsettling. I don't understand what's going on. Oh yeah, because they've been taken over by Venom and whatever it's called. The symbiote. Symbiote. And then they got vaccinated midway through.

Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, very, very funny comedian and somebody who will be recording an album or special way, way from now December. But if you want to find out more about when she's doing that, it's Rachel Schaeffer and her Instagram is? Rachel E. Schaefer. Oh no, at Rachel E. Schaefer. I've done a podcast before. You screwed it up. Nobody's going to go to your taping now. Also, if you search my name on Instagram,

you'll find a different account that's like check mark verified for Rachel Schaefer. But that's not me, that's my show I run with another very funny comedian, Kelsey Hamilton, but I just had to get that account verified so I could get my real account back because I got hacked like a hundred year old loser. So please follow at Rachel E. Schaefer. That's me.

Should we get to know us? Yeah! Get to know us. Tell us more about this hack. Tell us more about this 800 year old loser. No, wait, I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you. Tell us more about this hack. Tell us more about this 800 year old loser. No, 100 year old loser. You know what? I...

That was so confusing by the way. Like no one's going to be able to follow it. I know. I'm really good at just driving my career to the ground. But um, so yeah, so I got immediate karma because I had never ordered anything off Teemu before. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet.

And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. And then I ordered something from the internet. ground. But um, so yeah, so I got immediate karma because I had never ordered anything

off Tmoo before. And then I ordered something off Tmoo and I got a pop-up ad that just looked so much like a Tmoo page. And it was like, get this coupon. And then I was, um, I clicked on coupon and I think I put in my info. Like with my password that I just made for Tmoo. That was also my password for everything else. So they got my Instagram, they got my Facebook. They weirdly didn't get anything else. I think kind of what happened was,

so I found out because I went onto my Instagram and it was like, you've done some bad activity on your other account, you are suspended. You're a bad person. Yeah, and if you want to get rid of this suspension, you've got to go to that other account and you've got to apologize. And I was like, what other account? And I click on the thing and it's like, it's like, what could you buy 89? And I was like, that's not me

I don't know that account and then so I think what happened was I got immediately like hacked by this guy named Howard Shaw I got the report Okay, and I think he was probably hacking a bunch of people's account and on somebody else's account He did something bad or got reported. So he got like, he got his own account shut down and everyone else that he had infiltrated shut down. Howard. Howard.

So I spent like two months making reports to Instagram that just go into a kind of black abyss. I don't think anybody reads them. I think hundreds of thousands of people are probably getting hacked every single day. So there's no one to deal with this. Um, but if you want to get your account back, all you have to do is create another account, pay a $20 monthly fee to get that account verified, and then you get access to a real chat person.

And within three days of doing that, I got my account back. Um, and then just that thing of, you know, it's just so hard to unsubscribe to somebody. So you still have. I still, I'm paying, just because I'm truly lazy, I'm paying $20 a month to keep this other verified account. You know what, this is my goal. By the time this episode is out, you're gonna go look for that other verified account

and it's not gonna be verified anymore. I will have stopped that credit card movement. Have you changed all your passwords? Yes. Okay. Now I have to have them written down on a little paper. So if anyone wants all my stuff, just card noted. Have you changed all your passwords? Yes. Okay. Now I have to have them written down on a little paper. So if anyone wants all my stuff, just rob me. Yeah, just go to your desk and look for the one piece of- If anyone wants all my stuff, just rob me.

Well, I mean, it adds up. So before this- It is the simplest way. Before this drama, first of all, I apologize. There's an extra water on the table. Which is the one that was here yesterday? No, this is me. That's you.

This one was here. That's probably Rob Shaw's. Wow, you guys are cheating on me with other podcast guests. Interesting. You guys did this with other people. We have maybe done this 900 times before. I thought this was just your second episode.

It was me the first time. I know, I forgot to tell you that it's not our second episode. We were talking before you were introduced about the summer tattoos you see. Are you tattooed? I don't have a single tattoo. You're in a room with no tattoo.

Wow, not a single tattoo in this room? Well, I was thinking of getting my eyeball done. Yeah, that would be good. Which one, left or right or both? Oh, I mean, obviously my left. That's my good one. Winking eye. You should get the Indiana Jones student,

I love you tattoos on your eyelid and hunt down Harrison Ford. Yeah, and then on the inside of my lip, get a... Just kidding. Yeah. Oh, there's a television program everybody's watching called Love Island. And there's two contestants that get together

and the thing they bond over, they both got silly lip tattoos. It's on every day, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I'm behind, but. I always think about, so there's this, okay. Okay, set the stage. Settle in. I saw a thing that was like the most viewed person ever

on TikTok was this woman named Bella Porch. And she had the most viewed video and it was just her kind of, she has like a very expressive anime, she does like anime faces. Okay. And it was that video and it had billions of views. And then the next thing, next time I heard her name,

she had a music career. Oh, good for her. My kids have watched her music videos and they're actually not bad considering this could be the stupidest thing. Yeah. But she has a point of view and the songs are decent. There's a cool one where she goes into a bathtub full of yellow ooze. That sounds pretty good. She comes out and she's just of yellow ooze. That sounds pretty good.

She comes out and she's just this yellow ooze monster. But then she has a song that, I forget what it's called, but she does a duet with this guy. And his verse goes, Love Island is my favorite show. If we were on, I'd give you a rose. Oh, nice. Although they don't do on Love I'd give you a rose. Oh, nice.

Although they don't do on Love Island, there's no rose. He's working it. It's not really his favorite. He's being a silly little guy. That is crazy about culture right now that somebody can be like the biggest person on TikTok and then spiral that into a music career. And you say this on the podcast

and I've never heard that name. Oh my God, completely. Yeah. Remember, what's her name? She started on the Dr. Phil show, Catch Me Outside. Oh, yeah. Bad Baby. Yeah, she had a whole rap career after that and more successful rapper than any rapper. I couldn't name in that same-

She was a magnetic gal. I'll give it to her. I didn't listen to the music, but I saw a little bit of that interview and I was like, gal I'll give it to her I didn't listen to the music if I saw a little bit of that interview and I was like yeah I could watch you on TV forever she had a feud with a online not character person called little I think little Tay she's from here oh yeah and then there was a death hoax about her yes and you remember little Tay was it Tay wasn Was it Tay? It wasn't Tay Zonday. He's saying chocolate rain.

This name is ringing a bell. She's like a 12-year-old and her mom was very rich. I think she's a real estate person. So there's videos with her in front of a Lamborghini. Yeah, there's Lil Tay. There's Lil Tay. There's videos of her. Yes.

I remember her death hooks. Yeah. What I love about the, she does the thing I've seen before where people take a big wad of money. And like they're a phone call. Like it's like a 1989 cell phone. It is fun. It is fun to be an influencer for sure. That's what I assume.

Yeah, I watched a video of some guy who his whole thing is like Mr. Beast esque but less, uh, expensive and he's got, he's got like millions of, I'm giving away Starbucks gift cards. Exactly. Um, so you have no tattoos. Do you have any weird piercings that we should know about? I don't have a single weird piercing.

You're saying all that about influencers, and it was occurring to me how badly I plugged my own Instagram off the top of the show. I feel like I could be a very successful anti-influencer in which brands pay me to do ads for their competitors, and then I just drive those companies into the ground. If anybody wants to pay me to do that, if you are from Snapple and you would like me to break Gatorade.

Oh, I love Snapple as an influencer thing. Oh, get up. So you'll go, you'll endorse Gatorade. Yeah, and I'll just do my best to actually genuinely endorse Gatorade and I'll just blow it. People are like, I don't want Gatorade. I like in your imagination that Snapple is the substitute for Gatorade.

Yeah, yep. If you're not gonna drink Gatorade, gotta be Snapple. Yeah. It really kind of, after a workout, I like to have the peach tea, the peach iced tea. Does Snapple still come in glass? I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah? I think so. When was the last time you had a Snapple? It was definitely a peach tea one. Yeah. Cause you're right about that. Yeah. I always got the lemon tea.

We got them at the school store. Do you have a school store? We did. It was mostly shirts, shirts of the school. Yeah, you can buy gym strip there. Yeah. Did you have a school store? Like in high school?

Yeah. You had vending machines. That's not what I'm talking about. No, it was like. Are you two fancy boarding school boys? Yeah, we went to. Are we finding out that David Graham are secret rich kids? Yeah, we were the Graham and I were. It's no secret.

I'm always holding bills up to the side of my head on the phone. We went to dead poet society. We were the dead poet society. Um, no, it was a public school, Kitsilano, named after an indigenous chief, and the school was called, or the school store was called the Haida Way. Oh, that's not bad. Where did you go to school?

Here in town? Deep Cove, North Bend, yeah. Okay, was it Deep Cove High? It was Seacove. It was built on a very steep hill and also a swamp. And that was our field. They made our field on a swamp. So if it rained, it was, you just, we didn't have any sort of bleachers or anything.

Cause I think they would have just very quickly sunk. Um, we didn't have a football team. We had a rugby team and they were always covered in mulch. High school football is not really a thing here. No, it's not. Cheerleaders are also very much not a thing. Like there was no cheerleaders, there was no, like we had a gymnastics team.

So I guess if you would have been a cheerleader, you would have been on the gymnastics team. But there was no one had pep for anybody else. Have you seen Bring It On? I love Bring It On. Yeah, Eliza Dushku's character is like, we don't have the gymnastics team, but there was no one had pep for anybody else. Have you seen Bring It On? I love Bring It On. Yeah, Eliza Dushku's character is like, you don't have a gymnastics team, so I gotta join the cheer squad.

Yeah, that's right. Yes. There were cheerleaders at my high school, but same thing. They weren't a big deal like they are in Hollywood films. Yeah. They were just a group of gals. Just a group of gals having a good time. What were the cheers?

Do you remember? Let's go Beaverbrook, you ugly, you GL guy, you ugly, go Satan. Go Satan. Go, go, go Satan. Death to the other team. Yeah, we were the Lord Beaverbrook, Satan's. The Lords, right? The Lords, the Lord Beaver Brook Lord.

We did cheers on my softball team and we frequently got told off by the 17 year old male umpires. Oh, do you remember? They had no authority. Like we would cheer so aggressively and loud at the other team while like our team was in the dugout at bat and they're on the field, we would scream. Every single game we had the next day, no kid would have their voice left. Oh really? Were they specific taunts or was it just freestyle screaming? There were like, I've blocked them all out now,

but there were many, many softball cheers that we knew that were rhythmic and jits. I went and saw the Vancouver Canadians play and there was a group of kids that were from probably 12-year-olds league and they knew all of these chants to try and freak out the pitcher. It was so fun and they were just full throttle the whole game. Yes. They all knew the same chance. You know what? The pitcher got a little rattled if I'm not mistaken. He didn't do such a good job.

That's the fun thing about baseball is that like when one team is on the field, the other team is just twiddling their thumbs or screaming at you. And honestly, most of the people on the field are doing nothing. Yeah, it's mostly a game about trash talk. So if you don't want to be a pitcher in that environment, you have to get off the field. Yeah, exactly. You got to be able to block that shit out. You have to be a really angry person. What position did you play? I played shortstop. Nice. How was your how was your batting? My batting was either really good or really bad. And it was like probably a 60-40 split to bad. So you batted 400, that's not bad. What years are we talking about, high school times?

I played for like, I think I played softball for like nine years. I think I started in third grade and went to whatever plus nine years. Of course. Yeah, like grade 12. Yeah, wow. And have never since? Never since. I've been like a fill-in person for grown-up rec leaves,

but I don't like how they play because they're pitch, in girls softball, the pitching is not slow mm-hmm it's like a laser like it's a straight line it's so fast how many times are you allowed to spin your arm around before you it gets a little much if you do more than one spin but you know whatever your style is just Popeye style a little propeller coming up. You leave the ground. But if you're an adult, they want you to like, they want it to be a really slow lob.

It has like for it to be a strike, it has to land like just behind the plate on the ground. And it's got to like go over a certain height. And I makes me sick. Makes me absolutely sick. I played in a league once, a league I guess. I don't know, we played games. Was it a league would you say of your own? It was a league of our own.

It was me, Gina Davis, hubba hubba. Did you do the splits every time you got a ball? Yeah, sure. And a big flash bulb went off. But it was, you pitched to your own team. So like, I know. But have you ever been? And then you field to your own team.

It's weird. Would you ever join like, you know, if there was a comedian's team and just like smoke? I would. Oh, I would love that. Yeah. I feel like comedians aren't organized enough to put together a softball team.

Were there not enough comedians in New York that George got to play on the improv team? This comedy hub? Yeah. Do you recall this from Seinfeld? They're on a softball team. Yes. I know I have seen this episode. Bette Midler is in it. Yes. They run Bette Midler.

Then Kramer and Bette Midler get really close in the hospital. Yeah. And she's, Jerry's dating her understudy in Rochelle Rochelle, the musical. That's right. Yeah. It's- That's a pretty self-referential episode. Yeah, yeah.

That's, we all get it, right? Did you play any other sports? Do you play any other sports? As an adult, I have played ultimate, which I very much enjoyed. It was a lot more running than softball though, but very fun. There's running and ultimate?

You're running the whole time. You're chasing down that frizz. Oh, I thought it was like golf style, like you're hitting the thing and then walking and then hitting golf. You're talking frisbee golf, which is offensive to the ultimate community. Well, what's ultimate? I guess I've put the- Ultimate is like a mixture of like basketball and football, but're talking frisbee golf, which is offensive to the Ultimate Community. Well, what's Ultimate?

I guess I've put the- Ultimate is like a mixture of like basketball and football, but with a frisbee. Yeah. Oh. Or a disc, I should say. You're gonna get comments from the Ultimate Community that I said frisbee, I apologize.

And then you try to catch it. Dog style. You can't run with it, so you throw it and catch it. With it. I could never do the forehand, but I was so like, I was very athletic and like good at like, get chasing down, oh, no one's going to catch that one. And nothing feels better than that.

When you run like as fast as you can, and there's a disc so high above your head, and you know it's going so much further, you've so much more far to run. And then if you ever have to jump to get it, you land on the ground, so good. That's, I just being here, seeing you talk about it, there's a lot of passion there, a lot of passion.

Rachel's a passionate person. I'm a very passionate person about Ultimate, and then not a very passionate person about Adult Dodgeball, which I also played. Adult Dodgeball. And quit after one season because it was too much pressure. Yeah, that's bad. I mean, like, if it...

Yeah, you should not have to be serious about that. Yeah. It was very... Everyone should be... How silly. Look at how silly. Everybody gets to wear a costume. But you know, like, when you're in elementary school and there's, like, one kid who's, like, too good

at whipping those round inflatable balls, and it, like, hits so hard? All those kids grow up and join and make the adult dodge ball teams. So it's so scary. And I promise I'll relate this back, but. You don't have to. Yeah, we have time.

The first time, so I've never been like a big drug person, but the- You kind of were part of a softball like say no to drugs campaign. When I was in my early 20s, I was dating this guy and one of his roommates was friends with somebody who sold weed chocolate. And then one time that friend gave my boyfriend's roommate a cookie sheet full of this weed chocolate

that he said was too potent to sell. And because I guess you're mixing it and you don't know like how much is in each piece and it was just this, this particular sheet was too risky. So we obviously had some and I had like never done drugs before. And I remember like sitting at their kitchen table like with um, keep some people I didn't know too and then the friends that I did know and feeling like I don't even really know too. And then the friends that I did know. And feeling like, I don't even really feel anything. And then someone said something funny.

And then I laughed so hard for so long that my eyes closed. Like that closed eye laugh where you're like, you can't, you're laughing so hard, your eyes are closed. And then in my brain I was like, this is so, so funny. This is so, so funny. Ha ha ha ha. And then something switched and snapped in my brain and it turned into tears instead

and sobbing instead of laughter. My eyes were still closed. And I was like, oh no, oh Rachel, oh, you're crying now. Well, how did this happen? There's people at this table that you don't know very well. Okay, switch it back, switch it back to laughter, back to laughter, back to laughter. And then I was, so it was basically like and they and people were looking at me and then

somebody goes, yeah, she does have tears in her eyes. And I went, I'm gonna go sit on the couch now. And something about that moment... Had they all eaten the chocolate? They'd all eaten the chocolate but I'd not been quite as affected. I think I got an extra strong piece. Sure. But ever since that moment, like every once in a while, that can just like happen to me now. Like even sober. Like if something hits me really hard where I'm like laughing and if it's in any sort of like a panic laugh way, I can like feel that it's about to be tears. And so I was on this adult dodgeball

team. I was new to the team. I was, I was like, yeah, we're having fun. This is a game. This is great. Slowly, every single person on my team got picked off until it was just me and the other team was still full and I just, it looked like just, yeah, a team of Satan's, a team of Grand Clark Satan's. Yeah. And they all just started whipping balls at me and I started laughing out of like sheer panic and then I could feel it behind my eyes and in my brain I was like, oh, I'm so panicked. I'm not, this is fine.

It is a game. I know logically it's a game and I'm fine and I'm safe, but I'm about to start laugh sobbing like I did on drugs that one time. And then I just jumped in front of a ball and ended it. And my team was like, what? And I was like, that could not continue. I'm sorry guys.

Well, I mean, I don't know how, but Graham and I are gonna try to get you there again today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We want to get you panicked laughing. I was that, like, again, I couldn't throw the Frisbee forward. I could do the backhand, but with dodgeball, I had such little kid hands, I couldn't really throw it very well. But again, I was very agile

and I was often the last one standing. Because you're a good Dodger. Yeah, but then I would just... Not just about the throwing, dodge is the one in the name. Yeah. That's the whole thing. And some of us in our schoolie days tried to get in front of one of those balls immediately so that you got to stand on the side of the room and just watch.

Oh, Graham. Yeah. Oh, no. My kids come home from school and tell me there're like so many different versions of dodgeball now. I'm surprised they still do dodgeball. Seems like something where people are going to get hurt. It's almost guaranteed that somebody's going to get hurt in dodgeball. Yeah.

It's like there's always one kid that, you know. Like the rules are you got to keep it below the waist, but kids can't aim. Yeah. Well, yeah, kids can't aim. And oh, my elementary school invented, I don't know if we invented it, but like some kid at lunchtime had this idea that like, we had this like, fenced off basketball court and they were like, oh, this is enclosed.

We could make this sort of like terrifying ultimate dodge ball showdown game. So we, there was. Bring our utility balls from home. For months, we were obsessed with this. It was like, there was no teams. Everybody is a team of one. You're just your own team.

So the gated box gets full of kids and then there's only one dodge ball. Oh, okay. So it's like, if you have the ball, you can take three steps with it. And so it's like slowly it gets whittled down to like two kids. And it was so fun. Wow. And then whatled down to like two kids and it was so fun.

Wow. And then what would happen to the two kids? Would they kiss? It was always this one kid, Max, was always at the end cause he was that like crazy thrower, very nice kid, but terrifying arm. And it would just be him and whoever else got down with him. And then that person usually, I think I won once

and I've never been more proud, but other than that, I lost every single time. It was always fun when like, I don't know, fun's the word, but it was always strange that like sometimes an activity would just take off among your grade and like, huh, I guess we're into Foursquare now. Yeah, guess we have a Tetherball month. Yeah.

When I was in elementary, so one kid invented a game called Hatball, which was like a red rover mixed with like an ultimate frisbee, but everybody had to use their hat and whip it out of the hat. So every single kid was bringing a hat to school. Yeah, all using baseball hats. That's so much planning.

Yeah. I'm impressed. And I can't remember what kid invented it, but man, oh man, he's probably rich. I think it was Dr. James Naismith. It's Kevin O'Leary. Yeah, it's Kevin O'Leary. I went to school with O'Leary. It's Abner.

He was bald back then. Double day. Did anyone, are there any other sports inventors who invented bicycling? Uh, uh, Edry Philip Gagnon. The man of a thousand voices? The man of a thousand voices. Are you familiar with this? I'm not. Andre Philip Gagnon was a guy who I would just see ads for.

He's coming to town. Go see Andre Philip Gagnon. He was back in the day, just for laughs, was more of a kooky festival. Okay. Then, like now it's stand up and some sketch and like some improv, but back then it was like, stand up, busker, some, you know, weird specialty act. And he- Just a flasher. Yeah, just a flasher would come on.

A regurgitator was the big guy. Yeah, and he was, there was a guy that would put stuff in his mouth and then regurgitate it. That's real? Yeah. Oh God. He would like light bulb, and he was, there was a guy that would put stuff in his mouth and then regurgitate it. That's real? Yeah. Oh God. He would like light bulb, he'd put fish in there. That's a hair away from a flasher.

I should tell you, that's all I can say. It is disgusting. And he would do a trick where he would swallow coins and then bring them up in order. And people would say, you would get someone to say how much, like you would ask how much money you wanted him to bring up and they'd be like $1.25. All right, here we go.

Oh my God. He would smack his chest. Like he could bring the bring up and they're like a dollar twenty five. All right, here we go. Oh my God. Like he can bring the coins up in order so it makes the right amount. Yeah. You gotta admit that's a talent. That is. That sure is. For the like peak of the comedy world that JFL seems to think it is, you cannot deny

that Moxie Froovus played there. Moxie Froovus was an act, you know Moxie Froovus? No. Former band of Jihan Gomeshi. Okay. Yeah. But there was a guy named Andre Philip Gagnon who did impressions and one of his big impressions is playing a saxophone and he would like be there every year.

He does an impression of playing a saxophone. Yeah. Okay. And he does, he would be there every year. He does an impression of playing a saxophone. Yeah. Okay. And he does, he would sing. Not a specific person playing a saxophone, just the act of saxophone. No, but he would do the Pink Panther theme, which is big.

Oh, was it? I never saw him, but I saw like little clips like on commercials that he was coming to town and it was mostly musical impression. Yeah, yeah, a lot of music. And he would do like a duet of a man and a woman. Yeah, and he would do he did We Are the World. He did all the voices of We Are the World, all the pop stars.

And he, I saw him live destroyed, absolutely destroyed this guy. The regurgitators and the crown saw him. I ruined my body for my act. What else, who else was there was like, there would be, you know, guys that balance like a hundred chairs on their. Oh, there would be the guy was he was like the amazing Michael or someone or and he would be the YMCA, the amazing John. No, not the amazing John.

No, he would do like magic tricks. Yeah. the amazing John, no, not the amazing John. No, he would do like magic. Yeah, but there was a guy who would do the, who was the village people, and he would have like dummies that were attached to him with rods and he would like, they would all do the YMCA together. This is what it used to be. Like that's what the festival,

that's how they made their boats before they were like, well, let's leave the buskers outside. Which they still have. If you go to Just For Laughs, the streets are overflowing with buskers. That's just Montreal in general though. Yeah, there's buskers. Cirque du Soleil was started by two buskers.

So. I wonder it's like, do the, like, I mean, I think buskers are in it for the love of the game and like, it's a nice way to work outside. And I feel like if you're the balancing a hundred chairs guy, you can't be thinking you'll get like, there's no, there's no waiting to be discovered as a busker. No, that's true. Because I don't think, I think they know nobody wants them in any other setting.

You know what I mean? Right, like you don't wanna have dinner in a bus. Like no one's juggling and being like this, being at this festival on this street is gonna be my big break because someone's gonna see this juggling and then I'll be juggling for the Queen. So back in JFL day, I would have. Someone's gonna hear me through my distorted microphone.

Yeah. Yelling at this crowd of people. There's a, am I getting the details right? A woman named Red Panda, I think is her name. And she does NBA halftime shows where she's on a unicycle. Yes, I've heard about this, I've seen this. And she does, she has like bowls that she like has like a stack of bowls on her feet

and she throws them up on her head while she's on a unicycle. And she just broke her wrist doing it. Oh no. But she'll be back for the season. She'll be back for next season. Yeah, she's doing some physio. She's going to climb back. Wow, that's amazing. I'm just riding a unicycle.

Was her name right? Was her name Red Panda? Oh, if I Google it, it's just going to come up with the animal. Or the movie. Isn't there a movie with a red panda in it? Oh, Turning Red. Turning Red. Yeah. From the maker of Elio. There you go. Uh, turning red, turning red. From the maker of a Elio. There you go. Yeah, that's her.

That's her. Um, yeah, but buskers, uh, or at least the buskers I've known in my life makes so much money, like a crazy amount of money, all tax free. Yeah. So it's just cash. Yeah. And still buying. Yes.

People are buying houses with tuneys. I don't have any tuneys. how do you how to do carry change? And I think also a lot of it is like you're doing it on Granville Island, where there's a lot of tourists. Yeah, tourists are carrying cash. Sure. Right. Yeah. And the tourists are like, I'm on vacation. I'm happy to give this guy $20. I'm on vacation. Yeah, exactly. This is my big this is what I saved up.

Yeah, my $50 walking around money for the day is all going to this guy. I went to Nashville this year and I spent 60 American dollars on song requests. Oh, really? Yes. And of bands? Yes. Have you been to Nashville? No. I have.

Oh, it's phenomenal. Is this Music City USA? It sure is. It's, yeah, they've got like, so Broadway is like a street of just bars that are all three stories high and they have a different band playing on every story and somehow they've perfected the sound system of it so nothing's bleeding into anything. And all of the bands are amazing and they all have a bucket in front of them that says $20 for a request and you can request anything and they'll play it and they'll play it phenomenally. You know what I'd be like?

Do an original. Do one of your songs. Yeah, I went to Nashville years and years ago, and it was the first time I ever saw one of those bars where everybody's peddling, and it's like moving down the street and everybody's getting wasted. And I was like, man, that's gonna come to Vancouver someday.

I can't wait to be on that. Us in our hills, just the most upset bachelor parties going up and down Oak Street. Buckets of sweat. But yeah, that was the first time, like, boy, do they know how to party there. They sure do. Yeah.

Nashville, USA. I haven't been. What I hate about buskers is how they like waste time. It's like they'll build up to something. Like, just show me the thing. You like an efficient busker. I don't wanna be here. I'm like, if you can't do your trick, like.

Oh, right, and they do that so the crowd builds and they make you wait so long for them to actually set the knives on fire. They come get a volunteer. Oh, I'm just playing with them. Oh, this kid can they do that so the crowd builds and they make you wait so long for them to actually set the knives on fire. They come get a volunteer, oh, I'm just playing with them, oh, this kid can't actually do it, okay, send them back, give them a round of applause. So you hate the comedy part of busking.

You're like, I actually just wanna see you almost die. That's all I want. I wanted it to happen while I'm in earshot, but I don't wanna have to break my stride. Nobody gonna break my stride. No, nobody gonna hold you down. Remember, so in Victoria, there was one year that they were hosting

the Commonwealth Games. So they had like a big stage every night of performers. And one night it was, Andrew Philouganion. And one night it was the backing band for Paul Simon's Raceland. And they had a great, they had great patter, even though they weren't asking for real money. They were like, if you like the next song,

applaud, throw to the stage some money, one of your kids a credit card. Everybody's like, oh, this guy's hilarious. But yeah, they all have like pre, I think they all share banter, right? In the busker world, I think everybody does the same. Yeah, there's like street jokes. Yeah, there's banter, street jokes for busking for sure.

Would you, had you the coordination and time to put together an act, knowing now that they make so much money, would you have ever busked? Would you busk? I mean, this is, it's hard to imagine a world in which I've learned to juggle. But I, I mean, I guess if I was really good at juggling and unicycling, it may, it makes sense that the people who are good at that would want to just hang out on grandma Island all day and have people throw change at them. But yeah, I don't, I feel like I can't.

No, I feel like you, it's like I don't want to be Mark Wahlberg saying if I was on that plane, never would have happened. I feel like if I had the skills to be a juggler, I'd probably do it. Yeah. Okay. That was a horrible parallel.

No, I see. Yeah. I mean, there's a guy that I've seen on Instagram and he does, he does the one trick over and over again, but it's the greatest trick is he has an umbrella, he's spinning it and a donut on top. Oh, yeah. Then he has a pillow that's Nicholas Cage's face and he throws it over his shoulder and he lands in a basketball hoop.

He can do it like he's not even trying. It's so funny how there's people online who just do the one thing over and over. My favorite is the guy who runs the rides and he always just, he has a video of him, it's whatever, some ride that just rockets you up into the air. His joke every time is like, oh, I forgot to do your shoulder strap. Yeah. And then he sends them going,

or he drops a bolt out of his shorts. Oh, where's that from? Yeah, a carabiner, he's like, this is probably supposed to be attached to something. I love it. That's just somebody who loves their job. Yeah. You know?

I mean, not that we don't do the same joke over and over again. I just don't know which one it is. Do you ever find yourself telling stories on the podcast where you're like, as you're telling it, it's too late to stop, but you're like, I've definitely told the story before and I'm hoping I didn't tell it on this podcast.

Hopefully it was somebody else's podcast. Had that exact thought when I told the edible story. I was like, I'm gonna get hate comments. From who? From people who are such avid, weirdly avid fans of me who remember what I've said on previous podcasts and that are like, how dare you say that again. I'm such an avid fan of you, I hate you.

I don't think I have those yet. Maybe one day that's the aspiration. When Graham booked you, I was like, oh, she's the roast master. We know, last time she was on, we talked about her winning all these roast battles. Yeah. And then Graham showed up in shorts today

and I was like, I wasn't gonna wear shorts because I didn't wanna get roasted. No, I've rebranded as a nice sweetie. Oh, that's nice. Okay. What is the roast battle thing? Is that still going on or is that a, is that come to a conclusion?

You can still do roasts in Vancouver. But not on the television? I think they still do. Yeah, I think they're filming another season. I'm not a part of this season, but I do think they should get new people all the time. Like I feel like, so I did two seasons of it, and I feel like that's good,

because I feel like it's hard to keep finding new things to say about people that there's been so much said of. You don't want to repeat jokes that other people did, or just like walk the same ground. So I feel like that specifically is a show where they should be getting new people in there every year. I mean, I would probably roast you by saying, oh, she keeps telling this edible story every day.

And I would deserve it. I would, if I was in a rose battle, I would do something that would be embarrassing to me and see if they could pick it up on the fly. You know, like it just in the middle of a roast by Tansil down. Just go on with no Tansil, yeah. And they're like, oh, no, I mean, that's very roast, my pants fall down. Just go on with no pants all down. Yeah.

And they're like, oh, no, I mean, that's very roastable, but. That's actually such a hack for winning. Because if you are like, I think that's why I won a lot of roasts in Vancouver was because people would try to roast me for embarrassing things about my life, but then the setup would be funnier than the punchline. Because they're like, Rachel played adult dodgeball, and then everyone's like howling at me for being embarrassing. and then they have a punch line and it doesn't get as much that it's like oh yes I'm too lame and well

you know what there's never too late it was adult dodgeball a did it did that happen around the like urban outfit no no, American apparel, the tattoo of a mustache on your finger, hipster era. It was, yeah. Or has it always been going on? I think there's a pretty avid community, the underground dodgeball community. I bet they're there.

I don't know it, but I assume, it felt like when I showed up, no one was like, this is new. Right. No, I think it's been, it has been around for a while, but I feel like that's right. Yeah, that's okay. That people started playing in this kind of like, reliving the childhood era.

They're like, it's actually cool to be embarrassing now. Yeah. It's like, no one's actually worn short shorts in a while, and I'm gonna do it, and also these stripy socks. Yeah, yeah, and you know, waxed mustache in a while and I'm gonna do it and also these stripy socks. Yeah, yeah, and waxed mustache for the whole night. Which I've done, I've waxed my mustache and it's fine. I've waxed my legs and ass crack. You've been like, did I shave my legs for this?

That kind of like- I did it with mustache wax. When I went to Nashville, related, was for a beard and mustache summit. What? Yeah, yeah. He was a guest of Just For Men and that's not a joke. That's true.

Just For Men brought me down and I painted with my beard and like I had a booth and- You painted with your beard. Yeah. Do you not know this? I showed you a beard painting upstairs of his. Yeah, I did that all with my beard. That was the, beard. Yeah, do you not know this? I showed you a beard painting upstairs of his. I did that all with my beard.

That was the, oh. Yeah, I'm surprised. Look, this is what you could roast me about. This is in my bio of things to roast me about. He did, how many beard paintings did you do in total? Maybe 50? Probably 50, yeah. What are they like $100,000 each?

Yep, that's why I drive a Fisker Karma. But yeah, they found me online and said like, oh come down there. That's the beard for us. Yeah, this guy's got what it takes beard wise. And he had to hang out with the just for men brass and they were like, the hardest part of our job is getting men to put in less

Less hair dye because it's it looks more believable that way. It's an uphill climb for us Yeah, because they're like no guys seem to know how to back it off a bit So everybody goes way dark and like you say it looks you look like Eminem's beard Yeah, his beard bumps me out. Whenever I see Eminem's beard. So hard to be a man. I've always had this. Yeah, it's true. Especially a white one. Gosh. But yeah, that's when I went to Nashville and then I went to, I was going to go to the Johnny Cash Museum and I saw how much it cost. And I was like, I'll just buy a hat from the gift shop.

That'll be as good. And yeah, I went to a bunch of the honky tonk bars and watched amateur country musicians. But they're so good. Because I feel like there are so many bars there, but there's so many musicians in America that I feel like they all go to Nashville to show what they got. Yeah. And you're only going to be able to play in one of those bars if you're already like amazing. You got to get your 10,000 hours in somewhere. And I got a car from the airport and the driver was like,

he's telling me stories about driving different celebrities. And he was like, he's saying, you know, the one guy who just can't get enough attention, because he said a lot of people would do a set at one of those bars and then go out the back way and just get in a car and drive away. Right, sure. But Steven Tyler would come out the roof of the car and yell at everybody, hey, everybody, it's Steven Tyler. Gather around, we're going to do some chuckling.

Got a very distorted microphone. But yeah, that was my Nashville excursion. I have photos of me with 40 guys with all crazy beards. Oh yeah? That's so fun. There was a guy who had an American flag on his beard and lots of curled up. Oh, did anyone do anything with theirs, like you did?

No, I don't think so. I think that I was in a booth, and the guy in the booth next to me was a guy who sold beard products. And at the end of the day, he just said to me, he's like, stay in school. Is there any guy that was like clearly the worst beard? Like everyone's like, that guy was definitely laughing.

This guy keeps showing up. This guy's a fill-in beard. I feel this was elite. Elite beard. Yeah, you would have to really believe in your beard to be. Was ZZ Top there? ZZ Top was there and they're the patron saint of long beards for sure. Duck Dynasty gave us a hard time in the early aughts.

Were they in the tens? When was Duck Dynasty around? Pete Slauson I don't know. Pete Slauson I think the racist guy died. Pete Slauson The racist guy died. Oh, yeah, the one racist guy from Duck Dynasty died. Pete Slauson Well, he was actually racist. A lot of us have internalized racism, which we're trying to unlearn. Pete Slauson

Um, but yeah, so there you go. What were you doing in Nashville? Anna Winkler I was there for a bachelor party. Pete Slauson Were you? Anna Winkler And it was so fun. Pete Slauson Bachelore party? Anna Winkler Bachelore party. It was, I was there for Sean Lawrence. Pete Slauson Oh, he puts the lore in Bachelore. Anna Winkler Sean Lawrence is Oh yeah. He puts the lore in bachelor.

Sean Lawrence is a Vancouver comedian, very, very funny. He, it was him and I used to run a show together. He was like my first good friend in comedy. And it was me and him and all of his high school friends. Oh really? So it was so fun, yeah. But it was coed? Well, it was, I was the only girl. Okay.

And then him and all of his high school buddies. They had no high school friends that were girls. But they were like, this is a good addition to the vibe. At every future bachelor party, we're going to bring one girl. And then they were like, Rachel, it's not always going to be you. Sorry. Yeah. I was like, okay.

And also we're going to jettison this idea as soon as we go to a strip club. Did you, you didn't have a bachelor party? No. How many? Brothers both did and they were so much fun. Were they like, I'm sure you told these stories so I don't want to have because you're not allowed to repeat stories in the podcast. One time we went shooting like clay pigeon shooting and the other time got on a party bus that drove from Calgary to Banff. I have no idea how the driver didn't go. How far is that of a drive?

An hour and a half. An hour, yeah, a little over an hour. And it's insane. Like, have you been on a party bus? Yes. And it's crazy, right? Yeah. How long is the longest trip you've made on a party bus? 20 minutes?

Yeah, probably like 20. This guy's driving for an hour down the highway at top speed. Oh my God. And everybody's just going bananas and music is so loud. The pole is just there for stability at that point. Yeah.

No one's doing any spins. Did you do, was that the whole thing, just being on the bus or did you go anywhere? We got out and went to a bunch of bars and I don't know. So was it all just guys on the bus? Like no gals, no strippers on the bus? No strippers on the bus. But there was a pole on the bus, correct no gals, no strippers on the bus. So strippers on the bus. There was a pole on the bus, correct? No.

No pole. What? No, it was just. I mean, there was Mike Shishinsky. Now, what does that mean? Cause he's a Polish guy? Polish name. And is he a hockey player?

I don't know. I made up a name, but it was too close to Mike Shashevsky, who's the Duke coach. But yeah, have you been on one that had a stripper pole? Yeah, in my mind I'm like, that's a legal required feature that we say is for dancing, but is more like a bus pole. Well, this one was illegal, so it's fine. I've never been on a, well, no, actually, maybe at the one...

Maybe we went on a party bus, one bachelor party I went to, but it was on like a Tuesday night and I couldn't stay the whole time. We did go shooting guns though. Yeah, shooting guns is fun. In my mind, I'm sorry to harp on this pole thing, but why not just get... Why not just make limos if we're not gonna have the pole on the standing bus? Why are we standing if not for the pole?

It's the pole. When you say party bus, I'm picturing like, it's the big SUV, but no, it's like an airport shuttle. Like an airport, yeah. Yeah, like an airport, yeah. But there was seating in ours. There wasn't even just standing around. But why the need to stand?

Why the option to stand? Uh, there's no poll. Maybe there was a poll. I don't know. Now I'm. Was there, uh, alcohol like a bar like, but like a bar area or you just have, you bring your own. Just, yeah, you bring your own and you go nuts. And I think my brother got kicked out of a bar at Banff if I'm not.

You didn't go to the Banff Arts Center and do a residency. We didn't do a residency. We didn't go to the Banff Springs Hotel. We didn't go to the Banff Springs. We would have gotten kicked out of the Banff Springs. But yeah, it's the party bus you've been on at a pole. Yeah. And nobody on it.

No, people are using it. Yeah, having fun. I was really drunk on a party bus in Vegas once. It was like not a traditional party bus with like the pole in the middle, but it was like quite narrow. It was almost like the width of a limo, but tall and there were seats on both sides.

And then instead of, so you know, like how like on a limo but tall and there were seats on both sides. And then instead of, so you know like how like on a limo there's usually like the one kind of horseshoe row of seats and then there's the little bar area. It's true, it took one here. Instead of the bar area, it was like a line of seats and a line of seats, but you could stand and there was no pull, but there were bars at the top, like horizontal bars going the length of the thing.

And I was so drunk. It was supposed to just, it was like a bar crawl, a bar club crawl in Vegas that you could just like go on and then you're, you know, with like a huge, yeah, you're like with a huge group of young people who are like all there to like party. So you can like meet people and like hang out and dance and whatever. Um, and I was so drunk on this party bus and I was like, I bet I could do a flip

with these horses on the bars. Oh shit. And so I had a hand on one and a hand on one and just kind of, cause I used to be really good at the monkey bars when I was a kid and I could like get to the top of them. And you're on your school gymnastics team. I was, see, I was not, honestly, I was just pretty good at the monkey bars when I was a kid. And I could like get to the top of them just by like swinging and flinging. I was, see, I was not, honestly, I was just pretty good at the monkey bars. And I thought that would carry me to doing a flip

on a party bus as an adult. And it did not. I got halfway and then just kind of smacked back down. And then just had to sit and be like, that's what I wanted to do. Yeah, wasn't that cool everybody? It was so nice to meet all you young people. Yeah.

Yeah, I've never been a, one time I went on a bachelor party with a guy I barely knew but I think didn't have very many friends. Yeah. So I- That's what mine would have been. But we went go-karting in an indoor go-karting place. Those places are awful. They're like diesel fumes and it's, So we went go-karting in an indoor go-karting place.

Those places are awful. There's diesel fumes and I feel like they're more violent than the outdoor ones. Well, last couple of times I've gone, well, last few years with it, we've gone to Palm Springs. We always go to this place, Boomers, because it's my nephew's birthday while we're there and there's go-karts and it's outdoor but it's in the desert and it's

unpleasant. Yeah, yeah it's like even though there's plenty of fresh air the exhaust is right in your face. And I hurt my back like I had to go to like physio and stuff because somebody rammed into me. Might have been the bachelor himself. Yeah, you gotta let him. But then we went to, like, we had to go for drinks at this really expensive, maybe like a golf course with like a giant patio or something like that. This sounds awful. It was awful. It was awful and it was like, but he didn't want to say no because I was like, this guy obviously doesn't have- He needs me here.

Yeah. So I went- If I'm invited, he needs me here. Yeah. And I think Charlie Demers was there as well. Oh my gosh, I need to know who's bachelor party this was. Oh, you'll never know. He was not a comedian guy. Okay. He was the guy we knew through other avenues. We were all buskers together in the early 90s.

Right. Do I know this guy? No. Okay. But he's in Australia now, so- Oh, okay. Well- Where all buskers inevitably end up. Yeah. Or begin in Australia now, so. Okay, well. Where all buskers inevitably end up. Yeah, or begin.

Or begin, yeah. Or begin. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, good day, mate. And also to you. Yeah, well, of course it's official. I'm obsessed with La Boo Boo's. Oh, shit, here it comes.

No! No! Yeah, here it comes. Yeah, that's right. The collection has grown. How many Labooboos do you have? I am up to six. I can't tell if you're joking. I don't know you well enough. I know. It's not fair to you. No, I don't have any Labooboos. That was a fun thing I wanted to say. It was very fun.

And so- I'm a little bit disappointed it's not real, but it was fun. I'm trying to get like, I've seen it. I know that it's a craze and it's like Beanie Babies in that they're named or- Yeah, I think there are specific ones. I'm still looking for that princess dye Labooboo.

The purple one. No, yeah, they're sort of, but unlike Beanie Babies, I think they're already expensive. Like you can't just, like you wouldn't get one for your kid. Oh, okay. Yeah, I feel like they're like 25 bucks or something. Oh, okay. Well, I don't know.

I was picturing higher, but I think- You know, I pulled that number out of nothing. In my head, that was just the only thing that made sense to me, so I told myself that was true. The cheapest ones we saw were like 40, but they can go up. Really? But I think they're all like, they're like, they have the Beanie Baby thing of,

well, this is already a collector's item. Right. Right. I thought they were all like the same, and only the color differentiated them. That's how I feel about humanity. And it's kind of beautiful. Like we're all the same. Yeah, we're all the same.

Speaking of eBay and looking at your Kermit the Frog Late Show with David Letterman t-shirt, if you go looking for Letterman associated memorabilia, really expensive. Like, yeah,ia, it's really expensive. Like, yeah, yeah, there's a couple of props from the actual show that they used and they're in the thousands of dollars. I mean, I guess that makes sense.

I guess I'm just surprised that stuff is available. Yeah, that's it. Well, they had like crew jackets and stuff like that. Okay, so we're looking at the La Boo Boo's, On eBay. On eBay, they're all kind of, yeah. Oh, this one's- They work mostly this way. That's the one I want the most, $31. And which one is it?

He's the guy that has an air tube. The monster's one piece, yeah. I don't know what that is. I think it's quite popular. Anyway, yeah, so they're, anyway, I don't know why I brought this up. They're creepy, right? It was fun to say.

And they're creepy on purpose, right? Yeah, you're gonna get canceled for your take on Laboobas. I don't know that they're creepy on purpose. Like they have kind of a creepy smile, no? They do, they definitely look like a doll that's going to come to life and be evil. They look like they're just the right level of cute to make sense at the beginning of the movie for a kid to want, but there's something behind their eyes

that is going to kill everybody. They look like they should have been sold at Hot Topic, but now they're maybe too mainstream for that. Yeah. But I'm sure Hot Topic is going to kill everybody. They look like they should have been sold at Hot Topic, but now they're maybe too mainstream for that. Yeah. But I'm sure Hot Topic has them. Hot Topic's still around, right? Yeah. Okay. There's a couple I can get you to.

Okay, get on the party bus. I think there's one at Metro Town and one at the Tawasin Mall. It's been so long since they've been in Metro Town. You should really make a visit. Yeah, they've been asking about you. How did I end up with both these water glasses in my hand? Which is which?

I think that one was the previous guest one. Oh, God. Okay, so what's really going on with me is not very much. Okay. I think I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that our dog Irma had surgery on her knee two and a half months ago, and now Irma had surgery on her knee two and a half months ago and now she's cleared to like take longer walks and every week she can

go for a you know the walks go get up go up by five minutes every week and so we went for the longest walk we've gone for in months today and we walked past a one of those little free libraries that you see around the neighborhood which of course I need to point out all libraries are free all libraries are free and you also judge the live the person in the house oh yeah you're the library for the what books are in the yeah even though they're not a responsible for what books go in the library. Yeah, even though they're not responsible for what books go in there. But you're like, nice word, John McGair.

But this one was good. I hadn't been past this one in a while and it's really good. And they had a bunch of books and I was like, oh, I sell one by, I saw one I thought would be interesting. And then I saw more and more, and I ended up taking three books,

and they were Lawrence of Arabia. Oh yeah. By Alexander Nutting is I think his name. That kid probably got it really bad in high school. I think he was a nepo baby. I think his dad invented nutting. There was James Joyce, Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Oh, yeah.

And Jack Wild, Jack London, The Call of the Wild. Call of the Wild, yeah. And I got all three of these and I started walking home and then I was like, I can't read any of these books. So I found another library and I dropped them off there. You boosted their library. And I sort of feel like I'm the Johnny Appleseed of books. Of books.

Of books. I have a question about those little community book libraries. Yes, you there. Because I just walked past one recently as well and I saw two books that I wanted and all of the other books, in my opinion, stunk. So I took the two I wanted and then I was like, are there, are there ethical responsibilities at a free book library? Like should you, like if you like, if you like all the books, can you just take all the books or do you, is there a cap?

That's a very good question. I feel like most people would maybe judge you a little bit if they saw you take a stack of all of the books out of the book library. But what would you say is the number? I would, I think you can take as many as you want. Cause as someone who has given old books to a library, like then I walk past it later to see, was anyone taking my books?

Yeah. And when they do, I'm like, oh good. You feel good. How come, now I don't know if this, maybe this is a thing. No, I never see any magazines in there. It's always books, but like, I'd like an economist, you know, something like that. It's not really like a, it's not a real library gram.

They're not, you're not gonna get the books on tape. You're not gonna get your radiohead CDs. Yeah, they're not gonna have microfiche. They're not. They're radiohead CDs. They're not, they're not loaning get your radiohead CDs. Yeah, they're not going to have microfiche. They're not. They're radio. They're not loaning out their compact disc games. Fair enough, yeah. Sounds like you know libraries inside and out.

I worked at a library. You did? I did. I worked at a library when I was 16 to, I think, 18 or 19. It's in Deep Cove? In Deep Cove. I loved it. I loved working at a library.

What did you do? I was a page. We all were- Well, the library's full of those. Yes. That must be the oldest joke in the library circle. We could have interns, but what if we called them pages? Yes, I was a student library page,

and which means I would just like the shelver. But we all wore a name tag that said Page, which is also a name. So a lot of times people would walk up to me and be like, oh, Page, could you help me with this? And I'm like, you there, servant. To me, but to them, they just think they're being polite and saying my name.

No, it's so fun though. The Dewey Decimo system was my bitch. And I- Yeah, you have your favorite number on it? Desmosystem was my bitch. And I- Yeah, you're right about that. Do you have your favorite number on it? Yeah, I think the,

I wanna say the movies were 791.43s. And then I think the TV show DVDs were like 791.4572. I believe that. But I could be wrong. Um, okay. You can test me on that. 791.43 was arts and recreation. There you go, 7, 2. I believe that. But I could be wrong. If you could test me on that. 7, 9, 1,.43 was arts and recreation. There you go, that would fit.

That would have been movies. Motion pictures, radio, television, podcasting, 7, 9, 1,.4. .4, okay, I think, and then TV I think was specifically like 4, 5, 7, 2. Motion pictures were 4, 3. 4, 3 was motion pictures. Yes, 7, 9, 1,.4.

Nice. I'm nailing 4.3 was motion picture. Yes, 791.4. Nice. I'm nailing that. You still remember it. And I want to say yoga was maybe like 619.3. Okay. These were books. Books, yoga books. I think, but I could be wrong.

And what's 420? Am I wrong about yoga? Oh God, what do I got to do? I got to do yoga now? I want to know. What did you say it was? Am I wrong about yoga? Oh God, what do I gotta do? I gotta do yoga now? I wanna know. What did you say it was? I think it was like 619.3.

619.3. That's my favorite radio station. This is also like, we're testing me from like 18 years ago. Yeah, but you've been good so far. 619 is unassigned. Oh no. 619.3 you said? I thought so or maybe it was like 613.19 or you know what listeners whoever knows the Dewey Decimal

system tell me how I'm wrong about yoga. Someone is listening to this and absolutely screaming. Rachel you know nothing! They want to be on the pod so bad. They're like, get me in there. Did you ever shush anybody? No. Librarians only. The librarians were the, yeah, some of the librarians were so sweet and nice. There was this one really scary librarian, Elizabeth. 613.70 is physical yoga slash Hatha yoga.

Okay. I was close, but I was wrong. Yeah, but you're close. I'll get a.25 up a point for that. That's fine. But yeah, a lot of the librarians were very, very nice. One librarian scared me a bunch. Her name was Elizabeth. I don't know, but she also might have been nice.

She just had a stern face and I was very affected by those in my youth. Were they, a lot of them kind of mousy with glasses, but when they took out their glasses and let their hair down, they were total babes? Honestly, yeah. No, honestly, yeah. One of the children's librarians, I can't remember what her name was. Honestly, her name may have been Rachel,

which is really embarrassing that I forget. I'm very self-absorbed. But your name was Paige at the time. That's exactly right, my name was Paige at the time. But she was kind of like very shy, but sweet with the kids, and she had these big glasses very like shy, but like sweet with the kids and she had these big glasses and this kind of like mousy hair, but it was, I was also very much like, I

think she's like. I think she might have a slamming bod. I think maybe a lot of these dads are in love with her and then she got married and then she had a baby and I was like, yeah, absolutely. And then. She's been reading a lot of these yoga books in 613.70.

And children's was downstairs and then like, so that was kind of the louder floor because the little kids could go and look at the picture books and everything. And then, and downstairs was like fiction and mystery section and romance section. So it was like semi-quiet. So weird that romance is fiction.

Am I right ladies? But you would, so like that level was like a little bit more chill volume wise, like you're supposed to mostly be quiet, but obviously when you get to the picture book section, it'll get a little bit louder. But then upstairs in the library was where all of the nonfiction was. So it was a very shush shushy area. But the librarian that mostly worked up there was this guy, I want to say his name was Paul. I should not be telling these people's names. I I wanna say his name was Paul. I should not be telling these people's names.

I wanna say his name was Paige. But he was like, I wanna say he was like in his forties and he was a really nice dude and he looked exactly like Hugh Grant and like all of the neighborhood ladies knew it and were in love with him. And so he was definitely, yeah, like, there's TV characters propping up at the library. Like Friday night porn guy was like a regular staple.

I was just gonna say, was there porn guys that came in and was there read the Joy of Sex? This is the best thing about libraries is that you can look at porn. No, is that like- Come on kids. Libraries are like truly for everybody. They're, no matter who you are,

you should be able to hang out in a library. And that kind of includes creeps who can't help it. As long as they mostly keep it to themselves. But like- Those punks are quiet about it. You know, like libraries are exactly, Shh. Libraries are for research. So yeah, there was this one guy who would like come in on Fridays and like, like if you went behind, like he's,

you know, he's there in the back on his computer. He's not touching himself, but like, if you walked behind him, you might notice something. Yeah. And it's like, you can't, I don't know. Just really like. Oh my God, she's't, I don't know. Just really like- Oh my God, she's laughing and now it's crying. Yeah, and now it turns to tears, now I panic.

I just don't want to out Friday night porn guy because he was nice and he kept to himself. On the Paige note, have you ever seen an employee with a name tag and gone up and like, Jonathan, I would like a large popcorn please. No, I've never done that. So every time anybody came up to me was like, thank you, Paige.

Even when the waiter introduces himself. It's not, I'm not like, hey Blake, I want some more water. Hey, cool sideburns. Anyway. So that's me, I've been digging through the local libraries. How about you? So that's me, I've been digging through the local libraries. How about you?

I, the other day, it was real, real hot and muggy in town. It's just really hard to beat the heat. So I was like, going to go to a movie, going to go in the afternoon. That was myself and past guest Alicia Tobin. Oh, can I guess what you saw? You may guess, yes. It was what was playing, basically.

Oh, um, ah. Shit. Ha ha ha. Jurassic Park? Yeah. Yeah? Rebirth, Jurassic Park. Wow.

Yeah, we went, knowing full well that critics hated it, but it was just looking for something. So yeah, yeah, it's not too long Exactly. And then the thing like when you buy tickets online for that type of movie, they have it in like, you know The only thing that you can get that's not all that is the VIP The only thing that you can get that's not all that is the VIP Theater with the kind of like armchair. Yeah, that's 19 plus. Yeah, and those those are looking pretty worse for wear Oh, yeah, did you go to the yeah? I went there just the seats are like, you know, cuz the slime Well, they're just like flaking off right? Yeah and covered in slime. Is that do you get? Are there waiters? Yeah.

And how do you summon them? Well, first of all, Alicia was very scared that the waiters were looking at her while she was taking in contraband, some candy that she was trying to secretly eat. And yeah, at one point, the people in our row got something that smelled crazy and got a drink delivered and asked for no ice. And so the drink came back

and then the guy came back with a drink with, this is all during the film. This is, yeah. But it's fine because the film sucks ass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. What do you, like, I've heard people talk about how like, oh, a hot dog is a movie food. I don't think, I know everything's available now, but anything- Hot dog's a baseball food. Yeah, sure. And pizza is a Mario food.

Mario food, lasagna is a Garfield food. I feel like we're taking a tour of my past jobs because I also worked at the movie theater and what I will say about movie theater hot dogs is not a lot of people are buying them. Sure. If you're buying a movie theater hot dog, it's probably been on that spinner for like three hours. Oh, the hot dog is there. Three hours is nothing.

I think they're supposed to throw it away after three hours. So if you're lucky, it's at three hours. Oh, that's fine. And if they've messed up, it's older. I'm picking up like weeks. Yeah, that shouldn't happen. Yeah, when they start turning wrinkly. Yeah.

Yeah. But also there's a good snap for wrinkly ones. But yeah, for me it's popcorn and candy and pop. Yeah, same. Even the nachos, the nachos are good, but who's getting the, they're so loud. They're so loud, but also like I'm eating. The thing about popcorn is it can last through the trailers.

And you don't have to look at it when you're eating it. You can just kind of throw it in your mouth. But if you're like dipping something into cheese and like tomato salsa, there's a certain level of awareness that needs to be happening with that. So you don't spill on yourself or others. And you can't fully focus on the movie. Yeah.

Yeah. This movie, let me tell you. First and foremost, Scarlett Johansson, magnetic. Yeah. She's the last movie star. Oh yeah? Because she's like the highest, apparently like box office wise, the highest earning. Oh, her movies have earned her have her movies have made the most money of anybody. She's the top of the list

Well, that's her I mean, yes 100% yes Yeah, but it's also like when we're counting like Avengers in that like all those they're all putting that on their list But she's beating all those other guys. I guess so. Yeah, the Avengers Samuel L. Jackson was up there for a while because he was like he did all the Jurassic parks and then maybe Star Wars and Star Wars. I think Jeff Goldblum was like in that crew as well because he also had Independence Day. Yeah, Independence Day. Yeah. But so here's the I won't say any spoilers. What I love about Scarlett Johansson is,

like when she first became a movie star, there were like, people talking about like, she's a little different looking. She's kind of pretty, but also like really different looking. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. But she's like, she's a movie star. She could carry, she basically carried this movie

on her shoulders. Everybody else in the movie, Zilch City. Really? Oh, I love Jonathan Bailey. I'm obsessed with him. Without knowing who Jonathan Bailey is, I'm like, the guy sucks. Right.

Is he the guy with the glasses? Yes. What do you love him from? Oh, he's so handsome. But like, what's he in? He's in Bridgerton. Oh, okay. And he was in Wicked, which I actually haven't seen yet.

He was in a UK sitcom called Crashing. Oh, sure, with Pete Holmes. He was sort of the hot librarian in my library. But the basic, and if there are spoilers, I'll say it right now, spoiler alert. But- And I do intend to see this movie. My one of my children wants to see it,

but the other one is like, okay. It's basically impossible to say any spoilers because you already know the entire movie in your head. Right. Yeah. Before you go. But I'm not, as someone who still intends to see it, spoil away.

Okay. I hear like all the best dinosaur scenes that like make you feel anything of excitement about the dinosaurs are all just like kind of like throwback homages to like the first one anyway. Yeah and there's the open the very opening scene well before the opening scene there's uh like kind of a disclaimer or not disclaimer but kind of like since 1990, the interest in dinosaurs has waned.

And I'm like, no, it wasn't enough dinosaurs. People will be watching those for generations. Oh, in this world. In this world. That they, and- Right. All the dinosaurs have retreated to a narrow kind of series of islands that are near the equator because they have the right conditions for dinosaurs.

At the beginning, they're making a genetic mutation dinosaur and you see it and it's, I gotta say it, silliest looking dinosaur. It's a dinosaur with baby beluga head. How would it do at the Tyrell Museum with a- It's dolphin with basement head. Yeah, it would survive without four legs. Okay.

But just like big, kind of looks like alien, kind of that kind of look. And- Xenomorph. Xenomorph. And yeah, so that's all within the first like minute of the movie. And then-

No interest in dinosaurs hasn't waned. They still make eight year old boys. Yeah, and they also like, people go to zoos and have for more than a century. So the premise is pretty unbelievable. And then the guy, the handsome guy. Jonathan Bailey. Jonathan Bailey.

He's a paleontologist. And they're closing the museum that he runs because he's like, people aren't interested in the United States anymore. Because he's like, people are interested in it anymore. It's like, people don't close museums because of that. Yeah. The museum is going out of business because nobody cares about dinosaurs anymore. Guess we'll just throw these fossils out in the garbage. Yeah. These are useless. Everybody hates them.

Why do they have to make these movies with the theme park element? Like, why can't they just be like, well, let's make dinosaur movies. Yeah. Without having to have the like, audience, like the theme park audience in mind. Yeah. In these, in this world. There's no theme park. I'll sit down and I'll take my question off the air.

But this movie, and I haven't seen a movie do this quite as blatantly in the last many years, but it is product placement central. Oh, yeah. It's every junk food you can imagine is somehow represented. You should see F1. Is it crazy? Oh, it's everyone's drinking a Heineken Zero with it facing the camera. So in the first minute, there's they're at the lab and everybody's in there like, you know,

white helmets that allow you to breathe, you know, full on white outfits. And the one guy's just finished a Snickers and it falls out of his pocket and then it like flies into a mechanism that breaks the door and then that the like xenomorph dinosaur gets out. And the xenomorph just screams, you're not you when you're hungry. That's not good advertising for Snickers. Oh, exactly. But you could see this is racial style advertisement. She was hired by Milky Way to do this.

But products that get the big shout out, Snickers, Twix, Twizzlers, Pepsi, Lays. It's all candy? Yeah, it's all junk food. But, oh no, and then at one point, started a chance and says, a dinosaur wearing Nikes. And it's like, no, that could have been any shoe. I remember in the original Jurassic Park,

they were all like Ford explorers, where the car's on rails. Like, is there anything for daddy? Is there anything for adults? Yeah, I think the car that they do have on the island, because the island did have an attraction. I don't know, this is like a lab or something, but a scene of it takes place in a

convenience store where they're being attacked by dinosaurs. So you just see every product you can imagine on the shelves. Yeah, the first one was really just sponsored by like Ford and like Tilly hats. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tilly hats. Or the shaving cream. Oh, Barbasol? Yeah, Barbasol. Yeah. Yep. But it's the movies just like, you know exactly how it's gonna begin, middle, and but there's a guy who plays a pharmaceutical executive and he is wearing basically a suit the whole time even when they're out on the safaris wearing like khaki pants. Yeah. And you just know, that guy's gonna get eaten. Yeah. And, you know, don't spoiler. He does do they? I guess there's not that many people in it. No, because like, it's like, in the first one, the body count is

pretty low. Yeah, there's one not super high either. But at one point, they go, why don't you just bring an army to the island? They're like, you've got to keep this low pro. And so they're like, only six of them go? I'm like, bring 20. That's still low profile. And, you know, have enough guys with guns to fend off dinosaurs. But they're there to, they're there to extract material from the dinosaurs. In the trailer, they have to get like a pterodactyl egg. Yeah, they have to get a pterodactyl egg.

They have to get one from a sea animal, one from a land animal, one from a flying animal. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's so, the movie is so dumb. That's so like, like a 19 year old red saved the cat and was like, how can I make it three things that they need to place them exactly at like 30 pages? Exactly, yeah, split it up into three. And it's many pages.

And yeah, that guy was handsome. Everybody is good-looking. There's no Uggos in this film, but there's some kids, oh, they're so annoying. And the comic relief is the worst. You just want him to get eaten by a dinosaur so fast. But yeah, you know, you could do worse for getting some air conditioning,

you know, it's- Oh, sure, yeah. It wasn't- Truly. It wasn't unwatchable, but it was just like, oh, this is just Jurassic Park again, but with new, new cast, new dinosaurs. Just not as good. Although they do play the theme a bunch.

Na na na na na na na. Did you see the Chris Pratt ones? Every, yes I did. And he- I've only seen the first. I think I only saw the first one of those. No, I've only seen the first. Oh, sorry, I yelled that into the mic.

I think I've seen them all. Don't cry. The first one is amazing. The second one was pretty good because I was still seeing Spielberg. Yeah. And then it diminishing returns pretty much. I thought Jurassic World 1 was okay. I think he just made that sequel

because he was like, everyone asked me to make a Jaws sequel and I never would. So yeah, this is my chance. I'm doing this to get you guys off my back. Yeah, this is not a series that needed to be rebooted. There's nothing new except these genetic freak dinosaurs. I guess that's fine.

Yeah. That's what you're there for. Yeah, but sitting in those armchair seats. That are peeling off. Yeah, if it wasn't so loud, I would have fallen asleep. Absolutely. I couldn't handle in the first one of the Chris Pratt and Brice Dallas Howard ones where like, in that whole movie, she's running around in these really high pumps.

I'm like, if you work at Jurassic World, I don't care how safe you think it is, you're allowed to wear comfortable shoes every day. Yeah, sure. This is ridiculous. Yeah, some sort of boot. Some sort of boot. Yeah. Or even like a canvas KED. Yeah.

Yeah, some Toms. Yeah, an Espadrille. But, you know, dinosaur fans out there, go see it anyways, get to see some dinos. Yeah. They're always off the coast of Costa Rica? This one is, yeah. Although they did say this movie in particular, they did actually go to a tropical location to shoot it.

What was the- Don't get doing those movies for sure. You're like, I'm going to be hanging out outside. What is the name? Isla Nubar? Is that the first place it is? Yeah. Oh, nevermind. This one's called something similar.

Now this is Isla Mr. Good Bar. Which would have been in the movie. But yeah, check out Lay's potato chips, they're dino-rific. We're recording at the exact same time we recorded yesterday, and my stomach was growling yesterday yesterday and it's just begun again. Yeah, it knows the schedule.

All the Twizzler talk. Do you guys want to move on to some over hers? Yeah, man. Hell yeah. Hey, it's John Moe from Depresh Mode. Every week on our show, we have honest, humane conversations with artists, entertainers, and experts about what it's like to live with an interesting mind. I just interviewed Gavin Rossdale from the band Bush.

You might be wondering, what would a successful, handsome, popular musician know about mental health? It turns out, lots. All the time we're like, we're forced into happy situations, sad situations, challenging situations. Happy, sad, challenging. And it just never ends. And why should it? You know, we're just the sum of all these journeys.

Check out Depresh Mode with Jon Moe every Monday at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you been looking for a new podcast all about nerdy pop culture? Well, I have just the thing for you. wherever you get your podcasts. Have you been looking for a new podcast all about nerdy pop culture? Well, I have just the thing for you. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries is a weekly pop culture history podcast hosted by me, host Alston. And me, host Brenda.

We've already tackled mysteries such as what happened to the puppets from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, is Snoopy Mexican, And why do people hate Barney so much? From theme parks to cartoons to 80s, 90s, and 2000s nostalgia, we tackle it all. Check us out every Tuesday on MaximumFun.org and wherever you get podcasts. Overheard. Overheard. Overheard. Out there in the world, there's a lot to hear and we encourage you to listen as loud as you can and if you get one and you really enjoy it, send it to us at sbyatmaximumfun.org.

Now, we also have overheards and we always like to start with a guest. Rachel, do you have an overheard? I do, but it's more, so my boyfriend is away for the month and he had an overheard and then I overheard him tell it to me. Does that count? That counts.

Okay, amazing. Of course. Where's your boyfriend? He's in Nanjing in China. And he's, when he is here, he's an ELL teacher at a high school, so he's there for the- What's the second L stand for?

English language learners. So they used to say ESL, but then they realized that so many of the kids are, if they're like third or fourth or fifth language. So to assume it's their second is just silly. Yeah. So it's ELL, but he's in China, in Nanjing right now, teaching English teachers there, but he's in China in Nanjing right now teaching English teachers there

how he approaches teaching English. I think they do some sort of like exchange thing and just get everybody's – It's like who watches the Watchmen, who teaches the teachers. Yeah, there you go. And so he just went to the Nanjing Memorial Museum, which is obviously a very solemn, serious place. He was taking in everything and then there was a family there and they were speaking sign language and he noticed the mother kind of try to tell the

little boy to like, oh look at Andrew, my boyfriend, to just kind of, in his mind, he was like, it just seemed like she was maybe being like, oh, look, there's like someone who's from somewhere else. Like maybe they haven't seen very many white people. And then the boy like- Their loss. And then the boy went to like look at wherever his mom was gesturing and looked like past and didn't see him.

And then the mom fully like did that mom thing where they grab the head and turn it to what they want the kid to look at. And then Andrew said that he saw the mom do, so basically a universal sign language motion, which is she put two fingers on her nose and then did an arch outward and forward to just be like, look at this border with this gigantic nose.

And it delighted me. Yeah. Oh man. And the boy was like, ooh. Wow. Now does your boyfriend have a big nose? We're a big no couple. Okay. Big nose couple.

Oh sure. No couple. Big nose couple. Sure. Yeah, there's a couple Instagram influencers and their whole thing is that they've got a big nose. Oh yeah? The David Brenner. David Brenner and-

I would have really assumed that my algorithm would have found me with it. Yeah, it's just people that you wouldn't necessarily know looking straight on, but their profile. And like hundreds of thousands of followers. That same thing, like they do one thing. I have a person with a big... Oh my God, everyone has a hundred thousand, hundreds of thousands of followers.

Anyone that's fed to me, I'm like, huh? Okay, well, this person is living off of whatever... Whatever God gave them. Yeah, whatever they're showing on God gave them. Yeah, whatever is, whatever they're showing on this Instagram that I don't understand. That could be my second thing is I. Well, you had two Instagrams. Take down companies.

Yes, I'll drag the people in with my big nose content. And then I'll get brands to help me take down other companies. What are some good big nose Kleenex? Yeah, you should really kind of combine them into like, yeah. Kleenex really has that monopoly like, oh puffs, we could take down other companies. What are some good big nose Kleenex? Yeah, you should really kind of combine them into like, yeah. Kleenex really has that monopoly like, oh puffs, we could take down, or I'll get hired by puffs, take down Kleenex.

Yeah, or like, I don't know. Nasal spray. Yeah, nasal spray, yeah. Oatrin. Perfume or deodorant. The Biore strips. Oh, you're thinking like what the nose actually does. Yeah, you got big nose, you got big.

You've got good smellers. I feel like it's usually the does. That would send. Yeah, you got a big nose. You got a good smeller. I feel like it's usually the opposite. I have a very deviated septum. I can barely breathe lying down. I, me either, but you know what? You don't see me bragging about it. I do have a regular sized nose and I can also do that. I can barely breathe.

Well, it might've been your, that flip you did on the bus, on the limo. It might've been. When I landed on my larynx. Knocked everything out of alignment. And how long have you been with this gentleman? Three years. Three years, congratulations.

Thank you. Is he, are you ready to meet your parents? He has met my parents and I have met his parents. Okay. What was the setting? Was it a dinner, dinner at the house? He has met my parents and I have met his parents. Okay. Mm-hmm. What was the setting? Was it a dinner, dinner at the house, a coffee? He met my parents, yeah, I think he met my,

actually no, I think he met my parents at a comedy show, likely. Or maybe I stopped that from happening. I feel like that might've been something I would do. Which is to be like, you're both at the same show, please stay on that side of the room and that side of the room. But I met his parents, I met his mom at a dinner

when his sister had like just had a baby. So that was nice, cause I was like, I'm not the feature of this at all. There's this brand new baby. This is Los Angeles. The baby was kind of like, hey, stop stealing my thunder. Yeah, yeah.

Have you seen the movie, what's it called? It's about time. Is it called about time? No, that's- Thanks in the future. Where you have like a time, no. It's the one- Clock stoppers.

It's not that, it's not that. It's the one with Domnol Gleason and- About time. Is it about time? Bill Nighy and Domnol Gleason and Rachel McAdams. It's not in time? No, it's about time. Okay.

About time, sounds like you know. And there's- I'll cry to that movie all day. Oh yeah, I watched it over Christmas and I was by myself. I watched it at like six in the morning before anyone else was up and I was like weeping. Cause he can't, he can relive moments,

but not after his dad dies. He can't relive moments with him anymore. Oh, I've seen this where he's able to transport back in his own relationship. Because you can't go back before your kids are born or you'll get different kids. And I think he's, is it that he's about to have another kid and his dad is about to die?

So it's like. Yeah, he does it once. He has a different kid, that's weird. I can't really remember how he fixed that. I'm like, once you do that, didn't you just blow it? Like, isn't that now your new kid? But there's a scene where-

Time travel is such a hard thing to write. I think Edge of Tomorrow is my only one where I am like, this was phenomenal, this was perfect. I love Edge of Tomorrow. Because they're like, this alien goo does this thing, believe that, and then it's like all of the other rules. Like if you believe that, then you're like, yeah, nothing is wrong with this.

This is perfect. But it's about time there's a terrible joke. Like it's like the most ham-fisted joke where they meet, he's meeting Rachel McAdams' parents, Donald Gleason is, and he's been living with her. And so, and she's like, oh, I forgot to tell you, my parents are coming. And he's like in his underwear,

he's got to put on clothes really fast. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's like, he's like, oh, okay, so I haven't met them before. Do they know we're living together? No, so we're not living together. Would they know if we're having sex? It would be expected that we're having sex, but no oral. And then as soon as they walk in the door, he's like,

she totally slips up and says, he's actually been living, we've been living together. And he goes, but no oral. That's a very good joke. That's very funny, but why would your parents be so invested in whether you're having oral sex? We've always said, if you're gonna tie the knot, we want you to do it with somebody who does oral sex. It just is like, and you know what? It was written by Richard Curtis. He wrote the first seven Mr. Beans.

Unassailable. That's not your over-error, is it? No! I don't know if I've done this one before. Okay. Tell me if I have, or if you even remember. I was at a grocery store the other day. Actually, this was in June.

And I, you know how they have the self-checkouts? Yeah. And I guess in this and I, you know how they have the, the self checkouts. Yeah. And I guess in this grocery store, people hadn't figured out which side to put their basket on. Oh yeah. You put your basket on one side and then you beep everything through

and then you put your bag on the other side. Yeah. And- I don't like when those shelves aren't clear. Well- There's multiple shelves and I'm like, one's for one thing and one's for something else. And it's important because some of them are like,

well, you actually were, yeah, you have to put the stuff in the last pile. Because, and don't do two things at once. You have to do one thing at a time and wait. But they just, I thought it was very funny that the wording they had put on the sign of where you put your bag was, finish here. You know what we're talking about, wink, wink.

Yeah, there's the- But no oral. Don't you tell my parents we do oral. My overheard. So I was at the grocery store and I was asking the clerk, You do oral. My over. So I was at the grocery store and I was asking the clerk, I said, where do you want me to finish? And he was like, oh, right here. This is what we're talking about.

Well, he had his name tag on, I was like, Jerry? Paige, get over here. Mine comes courtesy of doing a little bit of a nice walk in Port Moody, uh, walking, doing a little bit of a nice walk in port Moody, port Moody, uh, BC, and it was a guy with three kids and then possibly his partner and then another adult. And all I heard was, you have to imagine it would feel pretty good to trap a murderer or a pedophile.

Very satisfying. Not wrong. Yeah. Very satisfying. Am I right, kids? Aren't there like, I think in the recent years, there have been people who have been like, done their own to catch our predators. But without getting the police involved and just been like, this guy came to the McDonald's and he's a pedophile. I'm like, okay, but you can't, you need to close the deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's weirdly like they're doing it for content. Yeah. Yeah. They're not in it for the love of the game. They're in it for the views. They're not doing a citizen's arrest. No. Is that a real thing that can happen? Oh, absolutely.

I do them all the time. Hey, you cut me off. Since there's a rest, you're gonna fry. You didn't pick up your dog poo. You're gonna fry. Now we also have Overheard sent in to us by people all over the world. If you wanna send them in.

Send it in. Oh yeah, it's way to here. We've got Florida, we've got Washington, we've got Texas, all over the world. If you want to send one in, send it in. Oh yeah, it's way to here. We've got Florida, we've got Washington, we've got Texas, all over the world. Oh man. Nanjing. You want to send one in, send it in to sbyatmaximumfun.org. This first one from Angie in Florida.

She's assembling, I couldn't quite figure, it was like a cover for a motor of maybe like a laundry machine or something like that. Okay. And so it was just open and there are instructions at the top, you know, you get like a little pager, pamphlet of instructions, and on top of it was a little fortune cookie sized bit of paper

that said, if you read this, you dumb. It's gorge, some guys last day, I'm throwing those in the boxes and it's you, just the letter you. Wow. Yeah. I always keep, like if my clothes have like inspected by number 17, I always keep that in the pocket. Hell yeah, yeah, it's memories.

Have you ever had that with the inspected by so-and-so? I've had them where it's inspected by their name. Oh, yeah, yeah. In your clothes, you said? Yeah, when you buy them, there's like sometimes, you know, there's like silica packs. Oh, okay. It's like that, like it's already in the pocket or whatever.

What kind of garments, like suits or something are getting inspected? I'm thinking it would be like, cause a suit is coming to mind because that's why I still have it in the pocket, cause you don't launder it. Yeah. I feel this is very like the dominoes tracker,

like Sebastian's putting it in the oven. Yeah, that's true. And it's on the way. Sebastian's putting it under the seat. Abby used to do that at her old job. She would go down to the factory because she worked at a company that made shirts and they were made locally,

but the factory just makes them. And then someone from the company, usually her would have to go down and like inspect all the garments. Oh yeah. But she never had to put it like inspected by Abby. But it would be satisfying, especially if you put like an Instagram tag.

Not as satisfying as catching a murderer or pedophile. Nothing's quite as satisfying. Or trapping them or whatever it is. This next one comes from Julie from Kennewick, Washington. We were watching my six-year-old niece for the afternoon. We took her to the library. Classic. Niece.

For the craft hour. After a while, she ran up to my husband with a little cardboard box she had and said, I almost had fantastic technology. Oh, almost. You built a time machine box or a robot box, but you didn't quite get there. No. Almost at it.

Fantastic technology? Yeah. All right. I'm trying to think of a fantastic, you just slapped up. Oh my God, the Shamwell. Shamwell. Do you ever see those infomercials?

Yes. In, just for last one year, he showed up at a party. Oh no, the Shamwell guy? He really had a moment. That was during his moment. People were blown away. Vince Offer. Yeah. Was his stage name, but it was like Vince something.

He's probably living off his laptop money. I hope he made enough money to never have to work again on that because that is a thing that will pass you by. And then it's like, it's going to be hard to get a next thing like that. But the amount of stuff that you would have had to deal with, of people knowing you and seeing you as a ShamWow guy, I hope you retired on that. He probably went to stores and like signed autographs, that kind of thing.

Like, but yeah, when he was walking through the party, everybody's like, and these are like famous people. He was like a, he was sort of like- Like the first influencer. Well, thank you. Shakespeare was kind of the first rapper, I know that. But he would, before that, he was like the kind of, it's the busker microphone. Yeah. Right.

But he would be at a, like a county fair demonstrating the product and they'd be like, we gotta put you on TV. Yeah, this guy's good. And he was good. And he did more than, yeah, he did Slap Top and he did Shamwell. It was Vince Schlome.

Actually, he went by Vince Offer, his real name. Offer Schlome, better known as Vince Offer or Vince Schlome. Offer was his first name. The first name was, huh. Anyways, wish him the best. And February 7th, 2009, Offer and a 26 year old sex worker were both arrested in Miami Beach, Florida. Oh no.

After a physical altercation. I was literally just gonna say, I wonder if we scrolled if there would be some horrible scandal. Yeah, well. No! Vinny! Yeah.

Vince Offer married Melody Clare Mandate. They just have like weird sort of like contract verbs in their last name. Weird names where it seems like you're hiding from something. Because it's like if you Google this, you're going to find definitions instead of where a person's at. My name is Vince Offer? Yeah. And my name is Theodore Responsibility. Timothy Elbow.

This last one comes from Annie from Texas. I work in a public library. Oh my God. Public library. And an eightish year old kid was looking for Moe Willems pigeon books. And it's like they're, you know the one like. Don't let the pigeon drive the bus. Don't give the hot dog to the pigeon, is that another one?

Yeah, a bunch of pigeon ones. Your wife works in Kid Lit. Yeah, and they're very popular, kids books, picture books of these pigeons, they get in all sorts of trouble. Oh, those pesky pigeons. You're supposed to, they're books that you read and your kid is supposed to yell at the book.

Yeah. Do we like that? Yeah, I think it's good. You're supposed to, they're books that you read and your kid is supposed to yell at the book. Yeah. Do we like that? Yeah. We do. You gotta get the sillies out somehow. I haven't spent enough time with kids to know like, is that going to drive a kid insane and be like, bring me the yelling book. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, they will. I feel like in general, that would be fun. You want to, I mean, yeah, any book that gets a reaction, hey, it's cool with me, man. That's fair. We couldn't find any. As we were walking dejectedly back to the front of the library, we passed a Spanish display.

Lo and behold, he saw a pigeon book and got very excited about it. I said, but it's in Spanish though. He said, well, I've been meaning to work on my Spanish skills. That is going to run the books for me. I mean, same here, right? I've been meaning to work on my Spanish. Yeah, don't let the pigeon do the Mexican hat dance. Don't let the pigeon eat a burrito.

These are all, yeah, anyways. Anyway, sorry about that. Yeah, totally apologize. Don't cancel us. Don't let the pigeon cancel Graham and Dave. In addition to all the words that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us or send us a voice memo, do the voice memo at SPY at maximumfund.org by email

and call us 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, Spypod one like these people have. Hi, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Emily in North Carolina and I'm calling in an overheard of the Kid's Day of the Garden disparity. My nine-year-old daughter asked if I wanted to hear about the video game she was playing. So I said, sure, I'm all ears. To which she responded, I'm all muff. And so my husband and I paused because we didn't know how to react. She said, you know, like, you're muff?

Anyway, off I go. Off I go. Rachel, did you clock that? Were you gonna go, but also? Yes, it took me a second. I was like, there we go. Okay, yeah. It is probably the cutest way to reference people here.

Muff. Also isn't a thing that- Yeah, the thing you put your hands in. That's a muff. Yeah, all the little girls in Madeline had muffs. Oh yeah. Yeah, or like, you know, a high society gal from the 20s. Is that something that is attached to your garment?

Like your coat? No, I think it's just like a fluffy tube that you put those hands in. When you're not using it, do you? Your tote bag or? That's a great question. Yeah, where do you keep it? Maybe that's why they fell out of fashion

because they were incredibly impractical. Because mittens or mitts or gloves, you can put them in the pockets of your coat. Yeah. Or I guess in your purse. Yeah, or tote bag as previously. Or tote bag. But like you can't really carry a tote bag very well

if your hands are both muffed. Huh. It sort of goes back to a time when women didn't have to do a lot of stuff with their hands when they were out in the world. also, I feel like if you're Slipping on the ice you're like you kind of put your hands out for safety and then or like to Everybody was breaking their wrist and then yeah muffs. Yeah, it's not just red panda Hello Dave Graham and guest this is Brian in Toronto with an overheard.

Turn off your... My girlfriend and I were walking in a residential street the other day and a man had just stepped out of his house and he was calling back into his dog but he seemed to realize halfway through that his dog was getting into some sort of trouble in the house. So we just heard this man go schnitzel. That's all. Thank you. Love you. Bye. That's how you know you're in trouble. You get the full version of your name. Yeah. That's enough. Oh, I love schnitzel. It's like a breaded. Like a breaded. Like a flattened meat.

Yeah. Chicken or pork. And then you get it on, you get it with gravy, mushroom gravy on top of noodles. Yeah. These are a few of my favorite things. Yeah. Oh yeah, if you're on your trip to Montreal,

gotta eat the smoked meat while you're there. Gotta do it. Poutine smoked meat, probably a brisket, you know? Shunsel. Sure. Eggplant Parmesan. Bagels, bagels. Yeah, you heard the bagels are good?

Oh yeah, the bagels, yeah. Have you not been to Montreal? I've never been. Did we, I think all our Montreal talk has been off air before this. Oh, we were talking about JFO with the buskers. Oh, that's right, yeah. No, I had a go pizza, I used to have a Montreal smoked beet pizza for a brief blink of an

eye and it was delicious. Oh, there was this- But probably, probably blasphemous to them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a Panago commercial with a construction worker in it. And they had a steak and blue cheese pizza. And he would go, oh yeah. I don't know why he was a construction worker, just so he was like this, so he could do this voice.

Yeah. He goes, steak and blue cheese. And now anytime we in this house, if we get blue cheese, it's always steak and blue cheese. Panago, we salute you We salute you, yeah Hello Graham, Dave and possible guests. This is Garrett voice memo-ing in from Black Falls, Alberta with an overheard.

I was at the golf course today using the bathroom in the clubhouse and while standing at a urinal I could hear the unmistakable sound of a phone drop and hit the floor from one of the stalls behind me a Couple seconds passed and then hear a voice Say from the stall want to kick that over here boss and then a response from the other stall over there with the response back Yep from the other stall and then the phone sliding across the floor Anyway, that seemed really gross. Thanks, bye. I mean, it is gross.

The exact same thing happened to me once. So I had to, you know, sanitize the phone, but it sucks, but you need to get your phone back. Yeah. I do love when people call strangers boss. Yeah. I think that's the highest form of stranger respect. Yeah.

I'll tell you what boss. Yeah, it is fun. I like it. It's nice, it's friendly, form of stranger respect. Yeah, I'll tell you what boss. Yeah, it is fun. I like it. It's nice, it's friendly, it's cheeky. It's better than bro or dude. Better than bro or dude. Is it an Indian thing? I feel like when there's like a-

No idea. Like if I walk into a store and the guy is Indian, he'll call me boss. I like it. I have no idea. And if not, I would like to just make a heartfelt apology. Right now, get ahead of it. To the people of India.

Do you guys remember when the, was the guy who ate hamburgers in the documentary? The little disempower me guy? The regurgitator? Yeah. But remember he tried to get out in front of like, in the Me Too movement and everybody's like, we don't care.

We don't care what you say you did or whatever. You're not famous enough. I have no memory of this. Really? And it was the Super Size Me guy? Yeah. Morgan Spurlock. Wow, you two have so much Super Size Me guy knowledge.

Well, he's no Vince Offer, but he's no longer with us. He's no longer with us. And in the movie, have you seen Super Sizeman? I have. He came out quite, quite close to his death that he was an alcoholic. That I heard. And that, yeah, and then all the tests,

like after eating all the food at the end of it, where they were like, we've only seen numbers like this on somebody who's a raging alcoholic. And then he was like, wow, yeah, McDonald's. I was going to take those guys down. Sure. I did some McShots when I was there. Did you see in the McDonald's international menu?

Uh, it looks kind of. Buss it. You mean like, like when they bring in, they do those like temporary ones. Yeah. I do love any time in a different country. Um, what is it at the moment? Like when they bring in, they do those temporary ones. I do love anytime I'm in a different country going. What is it at the moment? It's the international menu heist.

There's the big Roastie, which is, this is when you were talking the other day about a sandwich with hash browns instead of bread. I thought of this. Big Roastie, and that's? That's from Germany. Teriyaki chicken sandwich. I like the implication that they stole these.

Yeah. The McPizza bites, just sweet tangy chili dip. From Chile. It's from Australia. Garlic mayo sauce from the UK and the Biscoff McFlurry. That might be good. Biscoff is a, oh, it's a Belgian. It's a Belgian biscuit.

Delicious. Um, this is, or maybe it's, oh, we hate it. And this is actually a sponsored ad for Dairy Queen. Biscoff Dairy Queen. Yeah, there you go. That's the, that's the roast master general way. He just roasted Dairy Queen. Um, well, that brings us to the roast master general way. There we go. He just roasted Derrick Wade. Well, that brings us to the end of the show.

Rachel, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you so much for having me. And what, for the final time, what Instagram do we go to to find you? It is at Rachel E. Schaefer. Rachel E. Schaefer. It's spelled Rachel E. Schaefer. Rachel E. Schaefer. Yeah, spell Rachel for me. Rachel is R-A-C-H-E-L, and then an E,

and then Schaefer is S-C-H-A-E-F-E-R, and if you see a blue check mark, you're in the wrong place, buster. Is that you? No. No! Which letter did I get wrong? I can't see, my eyes aren't good enough. S-C-H.

Oh, there's an E after the A in Shakespeare. This is what is frustrating. Let's see. Because sometimes there's also an E. There she is. Sometimes there's an E after the A in Rachel. No, an A. Yes, no, my name sucks.

Yeah. My name sucks for showbiz. The A-E's and the CHs. But yeah, you got some clips there, you got some photos, the whole nine yards. Yeah, if you scroll you'll see pictures of my lizard. We love very much. Oh my god, I'm not logged in so it won't let me scroll. That's fine.

Well, thank you again for being our guest. Thank you for having me. Thank you everybody out there. Get on that international menu while it's here. It's just like the McRib. Here today, gone tomorrow. Yep. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.