Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 907 - Colin Cowan

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Comedian Colin Cowan returns to talk mooing, vibrating movie seats, and How Did This Get Made live. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Schumke. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 907 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who just woke up, he still got sleep in his eyes, Mr. Dave Schumke. A Monday morning podcast where like, ugh, I feel like a Monday morning quarterback.

Like here's what I would have done if I had done a weekend podcast, if I was in the national podcast league on any given Sunday. Who won the last year's Super Bowl of podcast? Oh, I think it was once again, Grammar Girl. I thought it was the office ladies, but yeah, that's right. It was Grammar Girl. Next year, office ladies. It's a building season. I know. They're, boy, they're getting up there. Oh, yeah.

You mean like the next championship, that may be the final. I mean like there's some young sitcom recap podcasters coming up. People are, you know, there's like, yeah, a movie, you know, we'll discuss a movie. Oh, sure. There's like, uh, deconstructing Sheldon. It's now. Oh, I've got a great Sheldon thing to talk about. We can talk about it in a minute, but let's introduce our guest first. Our guest is returning guests to the podcast. He is a comedian. He is a host. He is a producer. He is a musician. He's an organizer. He's all things to all people. He has a show August 8th at China Cloud called Comedy World. And he's also a producer for Comedy Special. We'll let him talk about it. It's Colin Cowan.

Hello, everybody. Hey, what's going on? How you doing? Happy Monday. All right. This is fun. This is fun. Monday Funday. You just flew in from, is this Chicago or? Apparently, New Jersey, I guess. We can make it Chicago. Yeah, maybe it was.

I kind of had a little bit of that. I was going to New Jersey, but with a bit too much gumption, like, fishy, and I went in, I guess, casino, right? What's your favorite meal being from New Jersey? My favorite meal would probably be a beat. Yeah. What were you going for? What were you thinking?

Jersey Mike's Soaps. Jersey Mike's Soaps. I know it is Jersey Mike's Soaps. I was thinking Big Ziti. Oh yeah, Big Ziti would be- Oh, a Big Ziti. So hard to get right. Abby and I, oh, let's get to know us.

Yes. Get to know us. Abby and I were traveling once with the family and we had a layover and well not a layover we we were in LA and we were gonna leave the next day and so we were like at an airport hotel and there's a Jersey Mike's there and so we went and I went and I got Jersey Mike's for the whole family. And I accidentally like as soon as I got it, I was like, this sub is too gigantic for Abby. She'll like so they're belly busters these things. Yeah, they are. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I brought it home for her. I brought it back to the hotel and she you know, ate an eighth of it. Yeah. And I was like, licking my chops. I was like, oh, I'm gonna have this tomorrow on the plane Wake up the next morning. She didn't put it in the fridge She's Illegal now. Yeah, it is illegal. That's a soggy vinegary bomb. Yeah, you don't know

I think it's mostly just the meat goes goes. Oh, yeah, there's a little sideways Yeah, the sog. Yeah, this is wet sog. Oh, yeah, there's a little sideways. That's where the song comes from. Yeah the song. Yeah, the sweat song Um, yeah guys welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. We've already said sweat song Yeah, and I just wanted a good circle back on this Sheldon. I really kind of wanted to boy throw my wife under the bus Gonna be a Unleashed it's gonna be a rough August. We've got guest host Rodney Dangerfield over here. Yeah. I tell you, I don't get any, you know, respect and whatnot.

Yeah. I went to my Dr. Finneboobots. Sure. Just such straight delivery. There's a Sheldon universe spinooff that's going between, it's like a sci-fi series where they jump between worlds. Good! Yeah. Great!

Right? So this is what people were clamoring for. And it's, are any of the Big Four in it? No, I mean, sure, they're gonna make us appear. Wait, how long has Sheldon been on for now? Well, Big Bang was on for 10 years. A long time, yeah. That was sort of a trope.

I didn't, in certain words, it's plagued my life. And then I asked my wife, it's terrible. Young Sheldon is probably six or seven. Yeah. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. And now it's this like, it's jumping between worlds, sci-fi comedy. It's quantum comedy.

I haven't even watched a single episode of any of those series yet, yet I know about them. So I have a lot to catch up on. How have I watched a single episode of any of those series is yet yet. I know about them Yeah, I have a lot to watch the whole episode of the Big Bang. I know I realized I don't think I've seen a full episode Yeah, maybe I didn't give it enough of a fair shake before you know, I would see Jokes and be like, I'm not sure It's referenced as like a great, you know, yeah one of the all-time great the all-time I mean it is one of them all-time most popular shows in TV history, isn't it? It certainly, still, even now it's not on anymore.

I know, yeah. It's like the number one show in the country. Eat that, Ross and Rachel. Yeah, eat that, the good son. A craver. No, wait, the good doctor. Oh yeah, that's right, yeah. Dr. Quinn, no, nobody even knows what that is anymore.

Everybody knows what that is. Yes, they do. Jane Seymour. She's a medicine woman. I don't know that I saw a full episode of that show either now I took when I definitely watched many and teared with my mother. Oh, there was a mother mother sometime I remember I would like me I made fun of I was like dr Quinn medicine woman this seems so slow and lame because I like Ren and Stimpy and stuff Yeah, when I was there and that

When you compare the two nothing Most people agree nothing alike, but yes, you come to me Graham. They're very similar Yeah, in what ways break it down for a little strong relationships Dr. Quinn would I think tell you I think I think yeah, dr. Quinn would also tell you don't whiz on the electric fence You eat it. Thank you, David Idiot was electric fan. You idiot. Thank you, David. You idiot. Was uh, Ren and Stimpy your go-to cartoon of of your youth or where you was the South Park was there maybe just a classic loony tunes? It really was it really was Ren and Stimpy. Yeah, they really had a hold on us. They yeah yeah did you guys did you guys really like it? I had a poster on my wall. That makes me feel so good. I learned the theme song on guitar.

Yes, Dave! Wow! Dave, there's a guitarist in there. It's got jazz chords. I mean, such a rebel, but I was talking about it the other night. I insisted on talking about it because my wife does not at all have any connection to Rent and Stimpy. But I was saying about how they really created something. Like I'm watching even YouTube claymation cartoons from all these independent creators with my daughter now who's three and a half. And some of these more obscure ones, I'm like,

this was a Ren and Stimpy fan. And my wife's like, so? But look at that. Like, it's so weird, you know? I feel like they pioneered because they do it it in SpongeBob as well, the like close up gross shot. Well, this is what I referenced, and it was a Nickelodeon cartoon. By the time SpongeBob came along, it was like, let's do all the basically accessible safe stuff for kids, yet still obscure that Ron and Stimpy did. Because John Kay was known for being a little too, but he just opened up the envelope with that like new envelope

Pushing gross zoom in with old traditional animation of like the Warner Brothers time or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, he was a little too There's a very funny story, I don't know how much you know about this well, I know he's like a creep I think he is a bit of a creep. I mean, look, he's obviously like no longer a 27 year old weird animator who plays in a like a band. But supposedly he so he I don't know if you ever saw when he was given for the listener, the creator of Ren and Stimpy, John Kay, John Chris, Folluzzi, Chris Folluzzi. Is that Italian? What is that, John Chris Feluzzi. Chris Feluzzi. Nice!

Is that Italian? What is that? Chris Feluzzi. Think it might be Czech. Could be Czech. Could be, it probably is. Just don't say it like Joe Pesci and it's definitely not Italian. He was given an opportunity to do another series.

I just love this because I find, I've been talking lately how there's like not a lot of Rebels left in media, or that's how I sometimes think. What about rebel media? What about rebel Wilson? Little wanted down. I know John Cade was given a chance to do Ren and Stimpy again. They said the gloves are off do whatever you want. I believe it was Spike TV. He did the pilot episode and there's this shower scene where I think it's Ren basically accidentally gets mixed up with the soap or Stimpy does of somebody going in the shower and at one point he even brings in boxing gloves to be like you said the

gloves were off like he's doing a message to Spike TV right makes the most ridiculous envelope pushing John K. Ren and Stimpy thing or it's just like you're not going to, they're going to cancel this season. They, and they, that's did exactly that. Even too extreme for Spike to use. Too extreme for Spike. The creators of Slam Ball.

Slam Ball, Ultimate Warrior, what was it called? Oh yeah. You remember the show where they would compare who would win a knight or gladiator? Oh, yeah What was that called? Was that show called sorry something? This was a big an obsession of us in the early days of this podcast. Oh, man Yeah, it was they would show how the different swords worked. Yeah Like they would have a like a forensic dummy to show like- It was called Deadliest Warrior.

Deadliest Warrior. Oh, Deadliest Warrior. What year is this? This is from 2009 to 2011. Oh cool. And Spike TV for a very brief time was, it was what men were talking about. Yeah. It was what men were talking about.

It's so funny because I missed all of it. The only reason I knew about that, it's funny you say that, Graham, is because by this point, like that red and stimpy thing came out, I was long past it. This was like early 2000s, I'm doing other stuff. Sure, yeah.

I'm full fledged artsy boy, I've moved on from red and stimpy. I thought that was just a distant memory, something that raised me as a kid. And then some very manly folk musicians I knew. But they were like bearded like you. But they weren't like, you know, you got a nice hybrid. You're still a soft guy.

These guys were like really like from Ontario and very much like soft. Ontario are the hardest guys. I mean, some of them. Yeah, exactly. Like I would say rural, there's like an element where they're like the softest guys, I was gonna say, beer drinkers, they do everything manly, but they're just big cubs. Yeah.

You know, like they put on an air, you know, and these guys were obsessed with it. So they told me about it and they were just like shocked because- They're obsessed with Deadliest Warrior? They're obsessed with the Ren and Stiffy thing. What I was gonna say, that's it, but Spike TV went on to do way crazier things. It wasn't even that crazy this episode, but it's like I say John K pushed an envelope again for like another network for something elodion and spike and then Did he not do a kid show or maybe this? We're going up pretty deep. I don't know. He's a creep. You said I don't even know about that news yet

Very much. Let's get into that. No, we don't have to it's on the news I don't know if we don't need to be T Google that if you need to Let's get into that. No, we don't have to it's on the news. I don't we don't need to be T Google that if you need to let's let's get back to the day this work this parts all edited out We're remember for a while. Maybe two years Maybe three years spike TV had an awards show that was like the man the manny What if you looked it up and it was like actually around for 25 years? Oh my god But you know is like the like. The Manny's? Well, maybe I've got their name.

I'm sure they were called the Spike TV awards. Oh wow. The Guys Choice Awards. Yeah, how many years? From 2007 to 2016. That's so funny. Yeah, cause like I say, I was not very informed on that channel.

I only know about one or two things. You were, you were. I was chasing my comedy dream. So I was, by this point, I would have been, by 2001, I was, I had just just turned 18 graduated from high school moved to Toronto Auditioned and got into like Second Cities conservatory program and started putting on my own shows at Tim Sims Playhouse What was I was acting because I'm an actor still I do that a lot still. Okay, so you're you're a young guy You're an actor. You want to be an improviser guys? I little

Yeah, yeah, I know we're talking about Colin but no no yeah, do you I want to go into the guy Well, it's just well. Yeah, well the first I just want to ask Colin about you don't need life You don't need to know it was just I you were on I was doing and then I woke up and we're not talking about this Anymore man, I'm so now I'm distracted. I'm just gonna tell you what some of the categories. Okay. Yeah Categories varied from year to year examples of categories awarded more than twice were guy of the year shirt So I'm sure that was Gila Fleur There was a category just called Jean Claude god damn no nice Biggest ass kicker. Oh, yeah sure. Thank my dad. Oh, nice. Nice. Biggest ass kicker.

Oh yeah, sure. My dad? Yeah, your dad. Just kidding. Decade of hotness. Just anything. So someone who remained hot for 10 years. Oh.

Funniest MF. Guy movie hall of fame, guy movie of the year, and most unstoppable jock. Oh, who do you guys think is the most unstoppable jock for me? It's Perry, the refrigerator. Oh, Perry. Dave was yours. Probably William the refrigerator pair.

Yep. I was OJ Simpson. Oh yeah. You're right. Oh man. I guess stoppable. He's a stoppable jock. Um, when you, what was, I thought you was unstoppable my mistake

What was being in Second City like was it cuz I only know I only know it as the Place that these famous people started from was it was it classes? I that's it. You can start you can you know, you can stop reading about the Guy Awards I that's it. You can start you can you know, you can stop reading about the guy awards The read about the guy or you want to know who won coolest geek Please can we at least know that well it was rain office from rain Wilson from the office versus Masi Oka from heroes and Masi Okay, took one Big year for Masi Oka. We'll go back with the dip into these later. Oh man guy stuff This is just locker room talk you guys

We're naked with towels on you know, that's that who won the coolest guy award in there the toughest guy award in 2007 I got a no man. I say it was Now I think it's ridiculous. I'm closing the page Now you're making fun of me for being into this stuff As you remember one year Bill Murray came out in his Ghostbusters outfit to present an award. That's cool. Yeah, nice and I was gonna say Bob Vila. So that's way cool. Oh, yeah. No Bob Vila. He was so weird weirdly It was uh, that's way cooler. Oh yeah, no, Bob Vila, he was... Weirdly it was... Best Fix It guy 2009 through 2000, you know, at least 11.

Oh, totally. Because it was the Guy Awards, he had his Ghostbusters outfit to present bustiest ghost. Oh my God, who is the bustiest ghost? And Nicole Smith. That ghost that gave Dan Acker a blow job is probably pretty busty. Plenty busty. Casper and the company.

Casper, yeah, Casper, yes. Yeah, very busty. And that ass on Casper, right guys? He's a child. He's a cartoon child ghost. Speaking of John Kay, no, just kidding. I'm the only one who's not getting canceled. ghost Speaking of John Kay, no just kidding Not getting canceled

Every week Okay, who's the hottest child cartoon funny you should ask second city was very inspiring How many people were in your your cohort? How many like were you in? Is it a class? Yeah, like what I started with, I auditioned for a conservatory program. They had come and seen me do improv during the Canadian Improv Games when I was 16. The touring co came to Moncton, New Brunswick.

Really? Both performed to the same show at the Capitol Theatre. OK, and they whatever I just just must have I had a great I remember having a great night, but I don't know. I'm 16, you know, yeah, but what's a great night to a 16 Yeah, what's a great night that was turns out? Hey, it's pretty great This guy comes up to me one of the guys in the touring coach second city goes kid I think you got something he goes can I think you got something. He goes, kid, I think you got something.

I was like, mom, it's Joe Pesci. No, he's just not from Canada. This was the Toronto touring coach, David. Right. But yes. Joe Pesci toured with second city, New Jersey. Hey, I need a suggestion for a good place for two guys to meet up, take a guy out. So this is a you you were on a high school

give me a good place to dump a body all right uh not for the scene just a general good suggestion please it's swamp yeah uh back of a off the back of a boat yeah yeah back of a boat we're gonna go with that thanks very much enjoy the improv. I gotta go take care of something That was funny now That's how we did on the night that they That's how I got into the conservatory program at 17 that scene The story making sense. Yeah. Yeah Were you were you the young? Yes.

You were the kid. They let me in younger than they were supposed to. When's your birthday? My birthday is May 22nd. Oh. May 22nd. I'm a Gemini on the cusp. On the cusp of?

A full mental breakdown. Yeah. Do you know the signs before and after you? No. Oh, that's great. Great question. I don't. What's that song?

I think it says it, the answers in that song. I saw the sign. I saw the sign. I opened up my eyes. No, it doesn't say it. All that she wants is another baby. That's it. She's gone tomorrow, boy.

It's such a funny thing to write a song about, this fictional lady. Who wants another baby. That's it. She's gone tomorrow, boy. It's such a funny thing to write a song about, this fictional lady who wants another baby. Who's having sex with people at bars together. Oh yeah. Is that what it's about? That's what I thought it was. All that she wants is another baby. She's gone tomorrow, boy.

Yeah, but I don't know any more of the words. She's going to a bar and having sex with anyone who can impregnate her because all that she wants is another baby. Isn't there like, she's the hunter, you're the fawn? She brings the guy home back to her house, she says ignore the other babies who are crying over there because I want another one. I'm collecting babies. Improv.

That's what it's all about, man. Dave was a high school improviser. I did Canadian improv games. I assumed you did, yeah. Yeah, with the likes of... I can smell it all over you. You're just so damn creative. I don't...

Past guests, Dan Werb and AJ Bond were the... AJ Bond. And Taz Van Rassel.. And Taz Van Rassel. Oh, Taz Van Rassel. And he was my coach. And Becky Johnson was my other coach. Taz was your coach? Yep, and Aaron Salazar the next year.

Was this instant or something or where was this? No, this was Kitzelano High School. Kitzelano High School. Their own improv program. Kitzelano, you went to Kitzelano? I went to Kitzelano High. You went to Kitzelano? Sorry, that's my West Coast accent.

Wow, you sounded like that. I know, that's... That cow that goes like... It's accidentally You sounded like that cow that goes like that. It's accidentally become a bit on stage because I do that. It's a joke that's out of my brother when we were children, but literally every time I go West Coast and then I might tangent into that. What is that called? The ee-oop and everybody always just says that thing because nobody knows ee-oop. You know that.

I called it a cow thing. Yeah, because it would be... Would it have cow print on it? would be like a print on it. Yeah Yeah, you'd buy it at like party stores. That was also like a rod Maybe the rod is kind of a cylindrical Cylinder like it was fluorescent, but yeah, you could get What I'm more interested in is to find out what the other was like. What do you Google? What yeah, would you Google?

And we should probably if you know you guys I not the host, but hey, that's a good calling segment. What words should we Google to find the answer to the true title of Elrp? The problem is people will call in, they'll write in and you won't be here. That's right. It'll be a very weird country. How did they market it? Like how was like the person invented it and was like, OK, yeah, we'll put this.

This is something we'll sell it in a novelty shop. Yeah. It was like an accidental invention that came in on the way to invent something else. Yeah. They're trying to make a bomb. I think like how Viagra was supposed to be a heart medicine. That's it. Yeah. That last. Yeah. That last second before the bone, the bomb goes off and the bone. That's what you hear that like one second left it Just goes

Could also be the technology for I think it might actually be the original technology that let to autotune like that. Yeah Little microchip in there. Yeah, oh, I love you. I don't know, does that sound like auto-tune? Sounds really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. You got, do you sing?

Do you sing in a band? I know you're multi-instrumentalist. You play bass in Destroyer, is that right? I just sang the worst thing that led to that question. I just sounded. Are you a singer. It's just, I have you heard this? If someone's listening to this, they're going to be like, don't ask him that, Graham.

That was not a good sound that came out of that. I liked it. I liked it. Maybe it is. Do you do background vocals? I sing my whole life. I started, boy, was that accent. Something happened.

That's true fashion. Kind of. It almost became Shaggy or something when Shaggy's not Shaggy. You know, he's just like a normal guy. I've been singing my whole life. And then he goes back to, it wasn't me. All right, we won't do that. Why won't we? Can we do it wasn't me but with the upside down turn? It wasn't me. I can't do it. Nope. The answer down turn. Uh, uh, wasn't, I can't do it. Nope. The answer is no. Can you try to do

that sound? Or Mr. Lover, lover, I can do that. Oh, he's here! Do the machine, the like L. Yeah, it's tough. Okay, I'm gonna try now. Nice. Oh. We don't have it. You studied my mouth

movement though. I saw it. You're a good stud study. Is there a bubble that travels through your mouth? Um, let's see I think what happens is this I think it's definitely tongue and mouth related. I'm doing the big It's like I'm saying owl Oh, yeah, it's this curl. I'm doing with my tongue at the end I don't want to keep doing it and have you look at my tongue because I don't think it looks nice. But I'm- Your tongue looks fine.

No. But I think the move is perverse. I'm turning myself on, Grant. Yeah, it's the move. Oh yeah, what do we think, just in broad strokes, what was Jerry Seinfeld's move in that episode that ended with a counterclockwise swirl? And George incorporated a knuckle.

That's right, it was very unpopular, the knuckle. My guess, Connellingus. I think you're right. Any other? In the show Seinfeld, is Seinfeld good at sex? Well, the women don't stick around long. That's right, and he will say sometimes that the sex? Well, the women don't stick around long. That's right.

And he will say sometimes that the sex is great, but that doesn't mean he's great at it. Yeah, certainly not. He doesn't live up to the comedian in the Romanian gymnast. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think Jerry is- Who's the best lover? The best lover's Kramer. Yeah, that's right. I think Jerry is...

Who's the best lover? The best lover's Kramer. Yeah, that's right. I think he's the most... He's just got that little hint of racism. I'm joking. It was long ago. He struggles.

Well, the character didn't. He's a good man. That's right. The character didn't. No, exactly. The character didn't. But... exactly, the character didn't. But- Unless you really start studying the show.

Yeah. Oh yeah, they all work. I'm joking. I'm joking. I love that show. I've just watched it five million times and I'm starting to see things that aren't there at Probably. No, they're there.

Probably. That's another Trump, sorry. That's my favorite one. Probably. He says that all the time. China's gonna bring down America. Probably. Anyway. The sniff the time. China's gonna bring down America. Probably. Anyway. The sniff! The sniff is good.

Now Colin? What else is going on? Yes, thank you. Up until now the theme has been, the theme has been ADD. Uh, no. What else is going on? Let's see. You're traveling, you travel. I have been traveling. You know, I've basically walked away from all the bands. I'm still doing my band Elastic Stars a bit, but not even. It's just full comedy, comedy, comedy. Getting close to the end of this pilot with the writing team I work with. Oh, cool.

Kind of around the country, been in LA. So I've been very excited about that kind of a project. I've been, I don't know, I've been doing some stuff. I'm an actor, so I've been going out for a lot of stuff. I've gotten I don't know I've been doing some stuff as I'm an actor so I've been going out for a lot of stuff I've gotten a couple roles the video games I've been really getting this like maritime thing started I don't know what it was but I was a guest on the town show podcast yeah and I just told a real story about like the folks? What happened? What was the last part? We love them, don't we folks?

We love them, don't we folks? See, that's something, that's a Trumpism. Boy, that's all. He does say that. That's right. You pointed that out to me before. Say it, say it. No.

It's beautiful. We're doing beautiful. It's lovely, isn't it folks? What is it? Well, it has to be something like, it's a big, beautiful bill and it's beautiful, isn't it folks? It's a big, beautiful bill, isn't it folks? It has to be something like it's a big beautiful bill and it's beautiful isn't it folks? It's a big beautiful bill isn't it folks? Big, it's beautiful. A lot of people say Trump's not a person. Somebody I saw them

I'm not gonna I don't want to talk about. Okay fine. I did have a there's a very funny thing that I saw in an interview recently because he is the what were we talking about? We have to come back the man awards. Yeah, the man. No, your maritime thing. Yes. Okay. Yes, I was whatever. I've been on some odd guests and I did some maritime impressions and then I went on and I did a full bit as an 1820s audit, sorry 1920s Ottoman Empire World War character as a Newfoundlander. Okay. I've had all this maritime stuff happen, but I need to tell you about this Trump thing.

Who cares about that? This is the true stuff I'm obsessed with. So here's what's really been going on. Forget the stuff I'm doing. My whole language has been F'd completely. I did this podcast. All I'm doing now is New Brunswick words constantly coming out. I've got Fringlish stuff coming out because I'm from New Brunswick.

I've been doing, and I've, it's almost like since the tariffs hit Canada, the whole tariff war, I've been doing nothing but Canada and Trump. I've been doing all the, all the accents of Canada. I'm driving my family and my friends crazy. Okay. How many accents are we talking here? Like I'm doing like the ones from Alberta, like Side by Each. Side by Each, I was hoping that that would make its way into Side by Each. Yeah, Side by Each is like a New Brunswick Canadianism.

You order the Canadian breakfast, you know, javé and cafe black and jusette as orange, two eggs facing the sun, three strips of bacon Side by Each, and a pair of toast. But it's a way of prox... It's a parallel. Some people also like when they do the New Brunswick breakfast, because this is actual Canadian lore.

We all joke about it since we're kids. Some people will go two strips of bacon parallel. Because that's another way. It's always side by each or a parallel. What is the obsession with the bacon placement? It's neat. It's tidy. It's clean. It's attractive. Do not make, do not make a little bacon smile on my pancake. Do not cross. That's it. This is, these are adults. These are adults.

I just, if they arrive on top of each other, I'm like, yeah, that's it. Yeah. But little bacon tower that you got to. What, speaking about the Alberta accent, did you see that fight on the golf course? Oh, I didn't. I didn't see it. Oh, the big fight on a golf course a couple of weeks ago. It's a video that's gone viral. Oh my God.

Can you tell me because Alberta is the other place that uses side by each. Alberta, I always say it's just a bunch of accidentally the most manliest men in the world. And they just say weird things because they're just more faced on It's like being a man Alberta. I love I forgot how much I love they give directions. They got curved arms They do things like this. It's like a real just like oh, yeah shooting the shit. You know you had a curved arm. Yeah Yeah Canadians point straight and they curved her arm and yeah, they say the side by each two roadside by each There's some that they're just like

Not like oh, yeah, two roadside by each just down a fucking road But yeah, I would love to know about this cuz Alberta I I've gone my whole life, but I don't know a lot about the culture I always see the nicest people that could maybe explode It's this drug super drunk guy apparently has been like could not stand up straight and was taking too long to golf and the people Have been like behind him in the next four some threesome. Whatever We're waiting like we've been standing here 20 minutes, buddy. I don't do voices

Say it like an Albertan. We've been standing here women and standing here for 20 minutes, buddy. There you go Is that right? Hey bud, maybe actually more bud in Alberta Okay, we might have been hey bud move along. We've been standing here side by each and he's too long And We've been traveling parallel. No, and then the guy once week the guy who the drunk guy gets all worked up and and You know, he wants to fight the guys who are telling him to just get going and yells at them fucking cry about it

And then he works himself up to endless like I've heard it described as a hawka this was all over my internet Yeah, this was your algorithm. And he like, is like, you know, pumping himself up. And the guy's like, you're not a tough guy. You don't want this. You're not, you're not tough. And his buddies like, he's right. You're not. Fuck, bro. Yeah. And then he, bro. Here you go. Bro. You think you're all you want to go. And he gets himself. Want to go. The guy's like, I bro. You think you're all you want to go then he gets himself wanna go I think I was like I will you're gonna get shit kicked. I will throw you in the fucking lake He just does not want to find this is like a sorry an older middle-aged man and a younger guy They're both sort of same age. Okay, they're both my age. Yeah, and then well one of them it turns out ex NHL player

The guy who's telling me I not to fight and not just a player but like kind of a tough guy He knows that with great power comes great response. He's Superman And the guys runs up to him and he immediately like tosses him in the lake And you just hear a guy off-camera go off to a good start Perfect candid comedy. And then he crawls out of the lake and the guy starts punching him, the hockey player, and as each punch he goes bang, bang, he's saying he's narrating it. And then the guy gets up again and he hits him again and he yells, enough! And then the drunk guy runs at him and the hockey player picks him up, throws him sideways

like DJ Jazzy Jeff on Fresh Prince of L.A. He goes, ah! It's great. It's great. It's part of our heritage. How did that not get fed into my algorithm? I just hate my algorithm so much sometimes. Yeah, what's it on it these days?

Oh man, the only algorithm that can figure me out is YouTube, because I actually use it. Instagram does not know who I am, and I love it. Yeah, Instagram knows I like a video of somebody falling down slowly. Instagram does? Yeah, like slow, like not one move, just kind of like, uh oh, oh no, oh no,

and then into the lake or you know what not. Instagram knows that's what I want. Yeah, I got one yesterday. It was the top five epic British kid accents. Who's number one? Oh, it's not funny. I have to go to school Girls got like Sharpie on her face. Love it. Love it. Oh, what about that little girl who's mad about the price of ice cream? Oh, yeah, that's very funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's

Yeah, mine's all like Korean Street food Japanese Street food Gordon Ramsay reaming somebody out and then usually like this. I don't know why this started but it fully figured me out I'm getting these shorts of the these auctions. That's like very famous auction I don't even know who they are But it's like the most famous guy who buys all of these antiques What they don't want some samurai sword some like key to nuclear bomb in Russia There's like all these different things that was the last mission impossible

That was the funniest one because the guy thought it was worth so much. I want $500,000 for it the guy goes Well, it's only worth about $400 Hmm You said one of the things was videos of Gordon Ramsay. Graham, what does Gordon Ramsay say? It's fucking raw! It's raw! Feel this! Feel this!

It's raw! Trust me. Trust me. It's raw. Yeah, I... Here's the thing about that show. Everyone, everyone, everyone, stop! Yes! Everybody to stop, come over here and touch, everybody touch the food. Touch it! Yeah. It's fucking wrong!

It's fucking wrong. Rows it against the wall. The thing they can't seem to get, season in, season out, scallops. Nobody seems to know how to cook scallops. That's it! Yeah. But it's like, scallops and wellington. It's the same menu every night

I don't know how these people are not just Only making scallops and wellington for 45 days straight before going on that show perfecting. That's literally I think how you win Did you ever watch Top Chef like one of the first seasons there was I think was Stefan Oh and Fabio there was a like an Austrian guy and an Italian guy and I think it was Stefan kept making scallops Like you could you know pick whatever you want the theme of this meal is whatever like enchantment under the sea And he would always do scallops and Fabio would be like it's tough chef. It's a tough scallop. I Think I'm getting the people right. But yeah, have you guys had scallops? Yeah.

Yeah. And what the hell are they? Well, I had them from, it's just like a, like a little shellfish. But is it? Yeah, but it's not like any other shellfish. No, it isn't. It's like a mini white steak. Yeah, it's chewy.

It's chewy and it's actually a lovely, it's not like a soft white steak. It's chewy. It's chewy. And it's actually a lovely, it's not like a soft gooey thing or anything. It's really lovely. We had smaller ones in New Brunswick. Like that's how I had them. When I watched them on Ramsey, I'm always like, those are large scallops. Sure. We had like kind of more this kind of size ones. What do you think when people call them scallops? I feel like that's what Ramsey calls it as scallops. I think it's probably correct. I've always had scallop. Yeah, but that's like that's probably because we got a lot of them in the, do we get them out here?

What do you call a finely cut potato with cheese on top? A fine scallop potato. I'm hearing my mom's okay. What's for dinner? But I have a roast ham and potato scallop. Is this potatoes being served? Side by each? Parallel?

Parallel. Actually, everything in between, man. Say side by each, say parallels, they do their moments. They do everything in the world, everything under the sun. I used to edit a TV show that was in English and French. And if the person was bilingual, like it was about small businesses in Canada. And so it had to be, had to appeal to,

or it had to, it was like federally funded. So you had to do it in both languages. Oh yeah. And, but sort of the, the subject of the episode was French. It was bilingual. You'd get, you'd interview them in both languages. Oh yeah. But if they were only one,

you'd get a translator and just dub them. But they had a guy from New Brunswick and he was bilingual, but you could not understand him. Was he talking Chiac? He was Chiac. Yeah, Franglais, Franglais. Oh, he was doing impression of them. Well, that's it. When I look at the environment,

everything around it, to the people, a lot of people say, it's really ridiculous. If you look at every goddamn time, it's the same fucking thing. Like, it literally is a back and forth. Like, my friend and I started really laughing when we were teenagers, and I use this one on stage.

Sometimes if you heard it, pardon me, but it's like you guys, nobody out there. But uh... Oh, I don't go up. Yeah, I don't go see stage shows. No, no, no. But yeah, it's like, I remember this guy who was just livid. It was like his fourth time returning to Sears. Must have been 1999 about his vacuum.

He's like, Jalé here every goddamn time, c'est la même, couldn't shows, you know? I bleeped out the F there. Thanks. C'est la même, lemon can shows, you know, I I bleeped out the F Say lemon couldn't shows, you know Yeah, it a book with the problems back my fucking vacuum every goddamn time now I want it back next week every week you say next week and it's not done Enough bullshit every goddamn time say lemon couldn't shows and that was the line that like busted us We said that all the time we were kids did you uh as a youth did you ever go to a sears did you ever go like back

to school fashions at sears or were you an eaton's family were you the bay yeah we were sears in new brunswick i mean sears was a sears was there man it was it was they were on the ground and they were doing great they were flourishing in Moncton. Oh really? Oh yeah, Sears, I think so. Sears was there for at least my child. Yeah, we were Eatons, but like, Eatons and maybe the Bay, oh, and Woodward's too.

Oh yeah. But the, like Sears, I don't think we had Sears, and Sears had like, I remember watching Home Improvement and he was always excited to go to Sears because they had Binford tools. That's it. Like none of the department stores, none of those other department stores had tools. No, that's it.

That's true. They didn't have tools. Well, and here was the thing about the vast world of Sears, my friends, or broad maybe, no vast. Yeah. Every, I think it, or broad maybe, no vast. Yeah. Every, I think it was end of August, beginning September. I don't know why we were all so excited as children, but the Sears catalog would come out.

Yeah. And it would be like, I guess a listing of what is to come or just what's in store. I guess what's in store. I remember as a kid looking at it like, oh, this is. And you would like, oh, Christmas is coming up, pick some things. That's it, there's all the new toys

that are now on the shelf. I remember, like I just remember finding out about new toys. Oh, I could get, oh, they've got a Bart Simpson now. And my mom would be like, hey, Dave, what happened to the bra page? And I'd be like, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

The guy who does the voice of Tina on Bob's Burger. Dan Mintz? Yeah, he does a great job. A great job. About, you know, when I was a kid, we had to see pictures of women in underwear in Sears catalog. We didn't have four all week. You had to look at the bra page in the Sears catalog.

But now. Yeah, the kids today are so lucky they can just go to sears.com. Well, he's so funny. He gets my secrets out. He's so funny. Yeah, it's just there's like. I'll check him out.

I don't know his material at all. I don't know. I haven't heard his standup in a decade. I'll check it out though. He had like a great 10 minutes at a one-liners. So yeah, he and that's his voice. Like Tina's voice is his voice. He hasn't put on a voice.

I love that. I wonder what that's like, cause I haven't seen him either. I wonder what it was like to see him. Oh yeah, now that she's such an iconic character. Yeah, same with Eugene Mermin and his. Yeah, same with, Iermin. And is the Yeah, the same with the I guess. There's the Joe. Well, yeah. And John John Benjamin. Yeah, he's

not really a stand up. Yeah, it's more of a more as a jazz musician. Oh, didn't he do those? Do you know about No, I don't know about I sell fun. John Benjamin, the voice of Bob and Archer and Archer. Yeah, he did a I think more than one album He doesn't know how to play piano, but he just hired a jazz band and did like Improvising on the piano with a band going but to be funny. Yeah Good to be funny, but also like how far off am I?

I know that's it, but I just want to make it sure he's not, it's not like a clueless John Tesh. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not that there's something like that. Sure, sure. It wasn't his serious music. It's not a vanity. Yeah, yeah, he's not like that.

Like he's actually, he's like. Yeah, he's making fun of jazz. And I'm sure it sounds terrific. What's everybody's favorite vanity project from a star? Oh. Personally, mine is Scarlett Johansson doing an album of covers of Tom Waits songs produced by Pete Yorn. Yes.

Um, vanity project. Um, what's the, uh, what is, it's going to be a toss between like Bruce Willis cause in his, what was that song? He had a couple of really cool songs in Bruno. What's the's the return of Bruno yeah return of Bruno what's the song like the harder they come or something something like that because I was like laughing about it recently after I watched die hard which I do every Christmas sure and I watched it's

the only Christmas tradition I hold still and my's Jewish, so she loves that tradition. She's like, I love Christmas. Every time we play diehard, yeah. But yeah, I remember I looked it up thinking it was funny and then I watched the video, I was like, I really connect with this. I think it was a good, he has a really good single. Anyway, that's technically my favorite.

Okay, that's a good one. Or Gwyneth Paltrow's skincare. Yeah, I like Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle Candles pretty wild really wild really wild. I like Well thought that was a Gwyneth Paltrow impression for a second The feeling of fire on my vagina That's just true I like the feeling of candlelight on my vagina.

I'm trying to think of like... I mean, that's the biggest celebrity vanity project. That's true. Yeah. You know, my biggest celebrity... Oh, I almost told this story earlier too. I know I said one and I'm being relentless right now. It's Monday morning.

It is! Yeah, man. I love Mondays. It's a day for winners, not a day for losers. He recently, my favorite, I'm gonna call it a vanity project. I don't know if you know, he became the chair. Donald Trump is the new chair of the Kennedy Center for the Arts. Is that a bad idea? Even though he nominated himself. Yeah. Yeah. Like they do the the What is the Mark Twain Award? Yeah, Mark Twain Award and lots of beautiful like music and I think opera and all sorts Oh, yeah, yeah, it's quite who's the Mark Twain Award under Trump

Are we talking about Delir Larry the Cable Guy? Who did the rally? Alex Jones? Oh, who did the rally that was at MSG? Oh, killed Tony, Tony Hitchcliffe. Oh, Tony Hitchcliffe. Yeah. Yeah, I could see him being given an award.

The most recent winners, just so you know, Conan O'Brien, Kevin Hart, Adam Sandler, John Stewart, Dave Chappelle, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. These are big hitters. These are huge hitters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's that in the hat? What's the guy who hosts that conservative? Bill Murray.

There's like a conservative. Bill Murray. Oh, Bill Murray. Bill Murray, yeah, he's got the big crown on or something? Oh, he's got just a hat on. He just had a hat, it was a fishing hat. He was dressed very royal for his acceptance of it. He had a very amazing.

They have to wear a very silly, like necklace or kind of like a mayor. Oh, like a sash of some sort. You know, like the mayors would have like the medallions. Oh, that's right. Yeah, they do. They make them sit, wear the medallions. The ones like the previous recipients sitting in the,

yeah, that's right. Oh yeah, it is very comedy official yeah because it is rainbow they make the word suspenders well that's it I mean what is the I don't see it here I just see it's not on the Wikipedia who like actual prize who is the I mess the thing yeah what is it it's somebody roasted somebody else with it oh yeah is there like I wonder if there's like a cash prize comes along with being Like the Nobel Prize, yeah, what do they get a million a million any but I think you're supposed to like put it towards Your research. Yeah me man. Okay, as soon as I win the Nobel Prize Sunshine

Corvette! Corvette and sunshine! See you later, suckers. Did you say your favorite Vanity Project? Oh, boy, I feel like Vanity Six. Was that Prince's Vanity Project? Oh yeah, right! Vanity Six! Were they called Vanity Six? It was a weird...

Was it a number? Okay, Vanity the. Were they called Vanity Six? Oh, it was a weird, was it a number? Okay, Vanity the singer. Yeah. Was a, she's no longer with us. And she was a, she was a- Vanity Six is right, yeah, put together by Prince. And did she, was she a singer or did she also play guitar? Who played guitar that was affiliated with Prince?

Oh, many people. Yeah, but there was like a woman who really could tread on the old guitar. Oh, oh, what, his guitar player played in his band, is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah. Hey, what is her name? She's so good. She was so good.

I don't know if she's still with us, but yeah, you know, listeners send in your information about whoever that might be. But the, this is my favorite fact about Vanity Six is that Prince, himself a musical rising star, suggested that these women form a girl group that would be called the Hookers. And that was right before he fired all four of them. That was the next sentence. You guys should start a band just with the four of you called The Hookers.

You're fired. Get out. You've been terrible to work with. Prince. Good punk band name. Yeah. Yeah. Where you don't care about radio play or, you know, society. You know, I one of my favorite female, like dirty rock band names.

It was just like, nobody knows them. That's not going to say it was really cool cats. When I lived in England, my early twenties, we'd met them and they let us like play on their shows. But the name of this all female early 2000 early 2000s punk trio, Itchy Tits. It's just so good at South London. You know what I mean?

You're right. All right, one, two, three, four. Where the itchy tits? You know, shut up. It's gonna be a night of rock and roll. That's really good. Itchy Tits is really funny. I love it.

It still sticks with me. I talked about when I was a kid, we said boobs. Boobs was allowed. Itchytits is really funny. I love it. It still sticks with me. Yeah. I talked about when I was a kid, we said boobs. Boobs was allowed. Yeah. Tits for some reason seemed dirty. Yeah. Tits was harder than boobs.

And then growing up, hearing a person call them titties, like a grown man calling them titties, I was like, oh my God, that's like, somehow goes back around to being like more childish than boobs. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, I don't. It's boobs. It's a good one.

I think I'm a boobs guy. I'm one of each. You know, the funniest thing about the word boob. You should get that checked out. The funniest thing about the word boob to me, cause I believe the word boob comes from, haven't looked this up, you got a Google machine there, but I like not Googling things.

When I was with Dan Mangan, we used to like try to not Google. Mm-hmm, right. Like talk about a thing, because Mangan would always say, you know, the funny thing is there's just absolutely no way to find that out. Mm-hmm, yeah.

Tongue in cheek, like, let's not Google. The word boob, I think is the name you maybe you know this already Dave you're one step at me, but I think the boob is boob is used to describe like a bum lazy slob Yeah, yeah, yeah, right So it was a joke somebody obviously once saw maybe in the world of vaudeville or comedy two of these Hanging down and they just thought a couple of boobs Look at this maybe they were hanging the right way. Now what I'm getting at is, the funniest thing in the world to me is eventually the title

boob tube got replaced for the television set. I'm just lazing out watching the old boob tube sipping some beers. Yeah. Now officially in my mind, one of the biggest streaming platforms in the world is actually a play off the word boob tube yeah am I not right about YouTube comes from boob tube well you're right it's definitely comes from tube yeah I think it's a boob tube he's from tube for sure because there's like and maybe from booby it might be

yeah yeah yeah it's just obscure to me because I don't know when there's nobody in the last 25 years Like you guys even squinted and I'm like maybe a couple of years younger you at most but I just like the fact that I Nobody knows the term boob tube anymore. It's so old school. But boob must have existed as like a term for a like a schlub. That's what I'm saying. For so long that that that people don't mind saying bo mind saying boob to like centuries. Yeah, I would think If you say boob boob and boobies boobies sounds like a younger. Yes younger person's game Oh the big size big time. Yeah boobie big bouncy boobies. Yeah, it's lost all meaning by the time like the word tits comes in

You know what I mean? Yeah by that point. It's just gritty and it makes you feel like whoa, that's got sharpness to it. Yeah Google's AI overview the name YouTube is a compound word form from you and tube Thanks Hey, I Also an old word that like has changed so much is boner. Oh, yeah, I really pulled a boner It's like me too, man. I wish there was a camera in here

because this is the second guy was just such a different person than the first guy who pulled the boner. Just what you did with your eyes. It's like some guy on a bench who wasn't even like, me too, man. I'm method, I'm method. Yeah.

I never got to say the one funny thing I meant to say earlier what was it about I didn't was my last I'm gonna bring him up. I think we can I think there's almost a law Dan mangan Trump this is the Kennedy Center of the Arts thing. Yeah. Okay, I heard like one of the funniest, most sincere questions get asked of Taco. Yeah. Which is, she's interviewing him, she's sitting there with him, just a legitimate question, right, they're all curating to Trump,

obviously he set this up. Yeah. And she's going, right, have you ever played a musical instrument? Oh God, I can imagine. He just stops. He's not expecting the question. Yeah, he actually legitimately is like, oh, wait. Oh, well, well.

It's funny, nobody's ever asked me that before. He goes, actually, I believe it or not. When I was a little boy. I took flute lessons. You really should be used against him. Come on. She goes, she goes, really? And he goes, he goes, yeah, in fact, you might even say I could have been a flutist.

I think it's floutest. That's what you have. He said flutist. You could have been a flutist. And the best part is, as soon as he says flutist, you see his lips. I know I'm sounding like floutest, is what you have. He said flutist. He said, could have been a flutist. And the best part is as soon as he says flutist, you see his lips, I don't know if I'm sounding like Grover there, but he's saying, his lips, and you're like, oh yeah, he was a flutist. He's got those lips. He's going, he's always got that breathing technique.

He could have been the front man of Jethro Tull, man. He was just like, do do do do Sniff. Do do do do do. That breathing technique they're known for. Do do do do. Young men. Anyway. Not just dripping down his nose. Anyway, anyway.

There you go. He has a little bit of art in him, so maybe not the worst that he's now the chair of the center. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, he's got a background. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Oh, man. Speaking of chairs, this weekend, I went to go see Jurassic World. Oh.

And only one of my daughters wanted to see it. Poppy, she's eight. Does she have an affinity for dinosaurs? They've seen two of the movies, but not really. As soon as she saw the trailer, she was like, oh yeah, let's go see that. Oh great, yeah, yeah. And I have no affinity for these. These lumbering dinosaurs?

Well, I liked the first movie, but I was never dino crazy. I don't think I was. My brother was definitely dino crazy. Had every dino toy you could have. Oh, I had like think I was. My brother was definitely dino crazy. Had every dino toy you could have. Oh, I had like a dinosaur book. I knew who they all were, but like the way you think of like a feral little boy, yeah, like being obsessed, that wasn't me. No, I get it.

There is that whole other level that still has not been breeded out of boys. Yeah, what do they go deep? What did boys get obsessed with before dinosaurs were discovered? Mummies? Yeah, there's some mummies. Guns. Well, I think guns didn't really exist back then. When were dinosaurs discovered?

200 years ago? Oh, that's a good question. Because surely they, I don't know when the first fossils were discovered. I don't know how that happened. Probably dynamite. Maybe like, maybe the, what were kids, maybe hay?

Were kids like in? Yeah, they were probably into hay. Hay, baling hay. Yeah, but the- The baling of hay. Yeah. Kids were very- Speaking of catalogs, we'll get back to Jurassic Park,

but do you remember the, that commercial for Canadian Tire about the catalog with the boy obsessing about the bike? Yes. We've talked. We've talked about it. Yeah. As a boy, like he is an older commercial. Yeah. From like when the 90s? Yeah. Yeah, sure. And well, I don't know. Yeah, me neither. I'm seeing it. I do.

I gently remember. And he's like, ripped the bike picture out of the Canadian Tire catalog. And his dad finds it and he says, I need you to help. He's there, the kid's like, I would never ask my dad for this. Things are too tight around the farm. And his dad's like, I need you to help me

get something out of the back of the truck. It's hay. It's hay. I go pick a switch. I saw you pining for that bike. Not going to happen. Oh, that sounds, yeah, that is. Anyway, we, we are, I'm a dad now.

I haven't thought about that. Because I became a dad. I almost cried during the year. You guys were laughing. I was having a moment. Yeah, it's very, it's very sweet commercial. That's what I think, Graham. Yes. And you could have been a little more sensitive.

So we went to Jurassic World and I went to it. You talked about it last night. And I'm going to say different things now. Have you seen it? Jurassic World. Yeah, the new one. No, no, no. I haven't seen any of them. Care about. Oh, no, I'm not going to spoil it.

No, no, I'm OK. I'm a boring very old-school person I only rebelliously for no reason watch the first one of everything and then just let that you're like I'm done Yeah, it's come back to bite me in the ass because my daughter's become I want to watch Toy Story 2 now for the last Eight months Quentin Tarantino says Toy Story 2 and 3 are incredible Quentin Tarantino says, Toy Story 2 and 3 are incredible. Is that what your kid is telling you? I'm serious! And she won't watch 2 or 3, she just wants to watch 1. So I've given birth, F you wife, to my...

And to a girl? I'm joking! Colin? I accidentally said something. F you wife, John K. rules. I gave birth. Nobody has anything on me. Anyway, please. He was like, let's go see the Jurassic World. And I was like, sure. Do you and I looked at the listing. I said, do you want to see it in 3d? Or do you want to see it in the

vibrating chairs? Oh, but not both. No have one can have one or the other. One or the other. Okay. She went vibrating chairs and I was like, okay, because I've only been to, I've been, I think I've seen three movies in vibrating chairs. Do they call them rumble seats? They call them D boxes. The, you put the D boxes.

Jesus, they shouldn't call them that. Well, the D stands for dick. All right, that's what I'm thinking. Everything I didn't want to think about when the word vibrating chair was said. And then it's like, oh what's it called? A D-Box. Come on. Put your dick in the box. And then teenagers go to films and they're going to have way more fun because of that. Yeah. Yeah. So we go and I'm like, okay, just so you know, this is she I take her to every movie I love taking the kids to movies always kids movies. So this is like the most grown-up movie

She's ever cool seen in person or in the theater. What's your snack? Situation when you go like what is poppy likes you like a popcorn? She like a candy like popcorn with M&Ms mixed in it and are you kind of like what's she gonna? Is she gonna react? Well to this movie? Are you getting like all snacks? Because you're like, let's make sure she's happy. Oh, well, no, I just, I get all the snacks. You're fun at a movie. Because I'm fun. Yeah, I have been to a movie a couple of times with you and I actually really miss it right now. Well, we did see Halloween and I fell asleep.

Yeah, but it was fun leading up to it. Everything up until you fell asleep was very fun. Everything up until you fell asleep was very fun. It was like an 1130 screening. But, and so we're going, and she saw the trailer and she's like, yeah, I wanna see it. And then a new trailer came out that looked much scarier. Yeah. And I was like, did you see the new trailer? And she said, no.

And I said, oh. Shit. And we're taking the escalator up to the movie theater and I'm like, just so you know, this isn't going to be like, there's probably not going to be trailers for other kids movies. It's just going to be like grown up movies this time. And so we sat there in our vibrating chairs. We watched the trailer for the one where Dwayne the Rock Johnson is a UFC guy.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. With his curly hair wig. Curly hair wig and he's sad. It looks very sad. Yeah, yeah. And after that his curly hair wig. Curly hair wig and he's sad. It looks very sad. Yeah, yeah. And after that I go, do you wanna see that?

How much did the seats rumble during that trailer? They don't rumble during the trailer. Oh, shit, that's too bad. And then we watched some horror movie and I said, do you wanna see that? She said, no. No. Then it was wicked too.

Do you wanna see that? No. Then it was Wicked 2. Do you want to see that? No. And then it was, what's his face? Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey. Oh yeah, that was a short little trailer. Yeah. Do you want to see that? No.

And then the movie starts and it, so I've sat in these chairs before. Last time was for Madame Webb. Oh yeah. And I had to turn them off because I was getting car sick. You can turn it off? Yeah.

You can turn up the intensity or turn it all the way down. Nice. It's sort of ribbed for her pleasure. Please stop me vibrating chairs on D-Box every time now. Please, I need to hear, if that's the term, term we must say D box. I sat in my D box I turned my D box off. My D box was sort of like rumbling my undercarriage You should write exotic novels. Yeah exotic.

Exotic? Yeah. About lions and safaris. Yeah, sort of like, Tropic of Cancer, Tropic of Capricorn. I made fun of my mom for that word mix up my whole life and I just did it. Oh, I'm becoming her. Well, I mean, an exotic dancer. Sure.

It's sort of an erotic dancer. I know. Yeah. But my mom used to tell a friend of mine, who was very beautiful, who I dated for a little bit in high school, how erotic she looked. Oh, come. She meant to say exotic which was already funny but it was 1998 or whatever. Sure yeah we're all having a good time. But she was like she looks so erotic. I was like

mother. We will now leave the house thank you for saying hello to my mom. I love her. I love her so much. Don't embarrass me. I just say you you like you're like liquid sex walking through the door No, I'm just saying she's like a total smoke show Like yeah anyway, so I Did not get I started feeling a little bit sick at the very beginning But I was like I'll turn it off and, but I could just turn it back on anytime like something exciting was happening.

Whenever dinosaurs shows up. But like if they're just driving, they're in second traffic because the brontosaurus got out of the zoo. That I turned it off. It is one of the opening scenes is the brontosaurus escape from a zoo in New York. Yeah.

Whoa. And they're helping it get back. Yeah. They need cranes and it's got like graffiti on it. By this point is somebody just graffiti D box on the side of the Dino box. F this D box. It just sounds like a slag, mate. It sounds like a slag. What, in this new Jurassic, and you don't have to give away the whole movie, but did you just sniff the mic? No, just kidding. What am I? I'm not on trial. No, you are not. And you did it again. Listen, everyone. It's happening. I don't share this mic. This mic is just for me. It's Dave's mic, yeah.

I think he's gonna rub my nose on him. You can hear it, you can hear it if you're really listening. I hope they turn that part of this show up. Is Jurassic Park a franchise in this new world? Is there multiple? Like you said, New York is like, cause- Oh no, okay.

Well, we talked about this last week. Oh, I apologize. Jurassic Park has been shut down since the first Jurassic Park, but then they tried to rebuild it and then they'd never learned their lesson. But now the idea is that the appetite for dinosaurs is over. And so like, no one really cares

that there's a dinosaur loose. Everyone's kind of like. When you said appetite, my stomach growled. I don't know why. I guess I'm really getting hungry the more we talk about brontosaurus. I don't even have much of a carnivore. Yeah, that big side of ribs.

I guess I'm eating it on steaks without even, I'm not even, yeah. Scallops. Oh yeah, that's a quick question. When these dinosaurs are around, are we eating them? Are we having raptor burgers? That's a very good question, Graeme. You got to think there's some kind of like artisanal butcher who's like, oh boy, think of the ham hocks on these guys.

Anyway, the movie is just about that everyone has such tight clothing in it. Oh yeah, that's true. Like there's these, they're on a boat, like going to dinosaur island. And like, there's the famous people that have all the lines. And then there's people who don't have so many lines. And you're like, oh, good luck. If you find you're on a dinosaur exposition and you're not saying much, you're probably gonna go.

You are lunch. But then, but like, there was this one, like super muscular guy wearing a shirt. I've never seen a shirt that couldn't exist because it was like skin tight on his muscly body. Yeah. But like who else are you selling the shirt to? It's like a V-shaped shirt to match his torso. With very wide sleeve holes.

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's clothes are so tight. Wow. Really? Yeah. They're selling the sizzle, you know? But then, my theory about it- I got hungry when you talked about his muscly body. Sure.

I guess I wanna turn that guy into some- He's got some ribs. Yeah, he's got some ribs. But the thing, my theory with this movie is, so there's Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, all the famous people are all in one expedition and then there's like a separate group of that's a family and none of Them are famous. Yeah, and like

That's true. They're none of them. Yeah, there's like a dad. It's two daughters and the daughter's boyfriend I love how these days it's just so easy to go to central casting for the plot development, any sort of suspense film basically. Well, none of them are famous or recognizable. But they, but like there's, I think in all these movies, the kids survive. Oh yes, I think that's, yeah. So kids will go see the movie, yeah.

But the, my theory is that, oh, they're just gonna like keep making these movies, but they're phasing out celebrities, they're just gonna have like, they're gonna be more like horror movies where it's like, doesn't matter, the dinosaurs are their show. Yeah, I think you're right.

That sounds actually very fun. It sounds actually more interesting. Because then you don't know who's gonna get eaten. Exactly. Because I was, I only saw the first Jurassic Park, nothing else until this movie. Yeah. Because I don't care.

Like, it just, it seems like a dumb spectacle. And but I loved every one of the like action scenes. Oh, yeah. I was edge of my vibrating seat. You're at the edge of my, I was at the edge of my D boss. It just sounds wrong. When I was watching it, I thought of, cause there's always in these movies, across the board,

there's somebody who distracts the dinosaurs so that everybody can get away. Tim played by Tim Allen. And it reminded me of a movie, King Kong Skull Island, and it does this very funny thing. And I just was thinking about it the other day. There's a scene where everybody's running away from this kind of dinosaur looking creature,

and one guy stays behind. He's like, I'm gonna kill the thing. I pull the pin on the grenade, and the dinosaur just knocks him flying off into the distance and he explodes in midair. I was like, that's the funniest thing we could have possibly done. Who was in Kong Skull Island?

I think Samuel Jackson was part of the expedition. So good, that's why I love the first Jurassic Park. He's just such a good person in a suspense film. Yeah, telling us all to hang onto our butts. Because he can't really swear at the kids kids room so they had it was a one of his only catchphrases that doesn't have like f-word in yeah yeah that's true hang on to your butts that's what he always says every time I've got a cigarette in his mouth yeah so cool yeah but yeah the action sequence I mean I've never seen a movie in the D box seat

what year is this one is this a newer one I actually don't even know this which the Kong Island probably like. Oh, you got it. What year is this one? Is this a newer one? I actually don't even know what this movie is. Which, the Kong Island? Kong Island. Probably like 10 years ago. Okay, it's 10 years, then it is the one I'm thinking. I didn't realize Samuel's on that one. Well, no, it was 20 years ago that was like Jack Black and Naomi Watts.

Oh, that was a remake of the King Kong. Small Island was like its own offshoot of King Kong. Yeah, yeah, okay. That one, the Jack Black. David just put his finger in water. Something people have done, this is the time of the war. You need to touch grass, I need to touch water, my man. But that was Peter Jackson was the 20 year ago. Oh, yes.

And then the Skull Island was, Samuel L. Jackson played all the roles. He played all the roles. Like the Clums. Yeah, he did kind of like a do kind of like a like Eddie Murphy yeah Eddie Murphy and Eddie professor sort of thing I mean yeah sort of like he doesn't he play all the characters yeah like a clumps clumps you said yes sort of like get out but anyways that was just one of the funniest ways to handle that particular trope I also so the other I wasn wasn't going to talk about this, but our, all our D box talk reminded me that I saw a few weeks ago, a movie called hysteria.

It was just on TV. I was like, oh, editing the podcast and it was on mute. And I was like, what is this movie? And it's called hysteria, hysteria. Yeah. I've seen it advertised on planes. mute and I was like what is this movie and it's called hysteria hysteria yeah I've seen it advertised on planes and it's about the about the invention of the vibrator what because women would have like a it was just sort of like a generalized anxiety condition that they would call hysteria. And they treated it with, so there's this doctor who hires like,

I don't know, his son-in-law or something, who's also a doctor, and who treats these women with manual stimulation. Yeah, wild. That's another job taken away by technology, right? And they go into... Freaking AIA. And this guy's like young and handsome, That's another job taken away by technology, right? And they go into... Freaking AIA?

And this guy's like young and handsome, and he has like a little curtain he puts up and he sticks his hand through all the woman's and stirrups. This is a true story, right? It's a biopic? It's based on a true story, yeah. And it's sort of like air, but for vibrators. How? They had Michael Jordan come in.

I didn't realize. And yeah, it's called hysterics. Because obviously, yeah, I've watched a lot of old film in that she's hysteric. She's hysterical. So was- Hysterectomies, baby. Was- Whoa.

That's where that comes from. Oh my God. Oh, it does? Yeah. Oh, okay. Wow. I didn't know that. That comes from... Oh my god. Oh, it does? Yeah. Oh, okay. Wow. I didn't know that.

And so he, like this young doctor is handsome and so the practice gets super popular. Of course. Of course. But then he gets carpal tunnel syndrome. No! This is... This is... Starts wearing one of those braces.

He does have to wear a brace. This is, this sounds hysterical. Ah! And then the, yeah! Is there like a guitar solo you can put after I said that? Like you just like put a sound cue in the edit? And then the women come in and they're still like, after his injury, they're like,

hmm, it's not as good anymore. But he's still going for it, what's he, it's just all arm action at that point. And then he has a friend who's like an inventor and he goes to his friend who's invented, who's invented a mechanical feather duster. Oh, okay. And he's like, what if we take off all the feathers?

And it just vibrates, but you need, they're like cranking. Whoa. Well, that's what, what is the shape of it? Is it? Is it cylindrical? Well, the feather duster is like a handle like a feather duster. Okay. Yeah, it's long Stick and then it's like a shotgun mic. Yeah and then When the feathers are off, which I think looks like a shotgun

And then you said there's a crank. I had to go back to it and they're cranking. There's like two guys it takes to crank it. And so it's going like. It takes two guys to crank. Like I pulled a real boner. That second crank has pulled a real boner. And so they're just sort of like,

they still use the little curtain set. it's like a miniature, like from a Wes Anderson movie. Gotta keep it human. Gotta keep it romantic. And so there's two guys like cranking this box that is attached to whatever's vibrating. And the women, they go wild for it. They love it wow what year is this I'd say in the last ten years maybe was no no that's Skull Island when is it referencing I mean the technology I would guess like late 1800s okay good yeah yeah oh wow the ten years initial answer scared me a little bit

it's sort of steampunk yeah it does it does sound steampunk. Yeah, yeah. Wow, that's wild. The history of the vibrator. I gotta watch this. Hysterical, huh? Hysteria. Okay, the movie came out in 2011 and when? No, I was just asking if you like, if that was your,

if that was how you describe it as hysterical. Oh yeah, it was hysterical. It was hilarious. It was wonderful. I just want to see. I'll check it out. Who's the lead? Hysteria. I don't know the guy's name.

Maggie Gyllenhaal's in it. I don't know the guy's name. Maggie Gyllenhaal's in it. Hugh Dancy is the guy's name. Hugh Dancy sounds very British. Hugh Dancy. You know him from Hannibal. Oh yeah. He's always exhausted.

He's got those real bags under his eyes. Looks like he's been cranking up. Cranking a vibrator? Box. Vibrating the analog system all night. I just want to know when the actual year it's like, it's about Dr. Mortimer Granville. Mortimer? Sorry, Mortimer Granville.

Okay, good, good, good. So he was born in 1833 and came out of the womb. He's a hot piece of ass too. That's another thing. Oh, he is. Yeah, yeah, good jawline. Pretty good jawline for, I mean, I assume that was taken in 1905.

And so, yeah, I'm guessing he vibrated, I mean, invented the vibrator in like, you know, the mid 1800s. Mid 1800s, yeah. 1867, who knows? the mid 1800s. Mid 1800s, yeah. 1860s, 70s, who knows? He died in 1900. 1900. Oh, ripe old age of 47.

There were cowboys around at the same time. This is like the old west. Yeah, you saw Wild West. That's also about the adventure of the library. Yeah. They needed something every time they left town, man. They just left those ladies hot. You ever seen Will Smith? Yeah, keep his name out of your mouth.

Yeah. So anyway, I love cinema and what's going on with you? This past weekend, for my wife Sally's birthday, I bought her tickets to a live podcast called How Did This Get Made? Ah, with past guest Paul Scheer. Paul Scheer. Did he recognize you?

Yeah, I didn't stand up and wave, but I could have, because that's one of the things they do during the show, is they get questions from the audience about the movie, because they do a different movie every week. What movie was it? It was a Stallone movie from 2001, pre-911 called Driven.

The car driving movie is like F1, but I remember him going on Letterman to promote it, and Letterman being like, wow, because Letterman loved cars, and being like, I'm glad you made this movie, because there hasn't been a good racing movie. Yeah, well, I mean, when did Days of Thunder come out? That was.

88. 88, yeah, yeah. And wasn't that the one that set the tone of like that was the one to beat? Was Days of Thunder? Yeah, I think so. I think, yeah, pretty epic film. Letterman mentioned one that was like Le Mans or something.

There was like. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Like one with maybe Paul Newman or Steve McQueen. Oh yeah, Paul Newman wrote Eve, raised stars as well. That's 70s then I guess? I don't know. Me neither. And that was the whole point,

Letterman was trying to make just alone. Yeah. And so it's a movie- Is it good? That was the first time I got a story back on track in this entire session. Thank you so much. It's one of those movies where it's so bad, it's good.

Like, there's a lot of, it's fun. It's really, really fun to watch. You watch it with the pod, like, do they show it? No, like, so you, everybody in the audience, I assume, if you didn't watch the movie, it would have been just gibberish on stage. So you're told to, you're given homework. Yeah, and like, so every little part they talk about, you know, you're like, oh yeah,

I remember that scene or whatever. Both Stallone and the director who directed Die Hard 2, both said it was one of the biggest regrets of their career. Oh. And it's like about an hour and a half long. And apparently the first version was four hours long. Sure.

No. So there's a, it's, the movie's very disjointed. There's no bad guy in it. There's, you're not sure who you're supposed to be rooting for the whole time. So obviously like stuff like important plot stuff was cut out. But it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. And I haven't I listened to the podcast, like probably 10 years ago, and I, they have a section where you can go up and it's called second opinion. And you could sing your opinion about the movie and how much you loved it.

There was a rapper guy that was really good. There was a guy who did one to the tune of the good old hockey game everybody clapped along to. Wow. It was fun. It was really like fun, interactive. That does sound fun. And that was at the Vogue.

And afterwards it's like, let's go get a drink. And we went to a place that's like, I feel like there's a lot of them now where it's like a place for adults to play video games. Oh yeah went to a place that's like, I feel like there's a lot of them now where it's like a place for adults to play video games. Oh yeah, right across the street. Yeah, yeah. And so the showroom is called?

Yeah, yeah. It's attached to what used to be the Granville Theater. That's right. Oh, okay. And there's ads for it every time I see movies. There's like an ad for this thing. Is there? Yeah.

For this place. At Cineplex. Oh yeah, and it's like an arcade bar. Yeah, there's like one level that's all arcade and the music, good music in there, too loud. Oh, this is for adults, it should be quiet and bright. Yeah, it should be. Whoa, whoa, do contemporary adults like bright? I mean, I don't wanna go out

and not be able to read my menu. Yeah. Every table should have a pair of readers. Yeah, a pair of readers. To change to the table. Yeah, OK. So the video game thing, I think I only liked video game arcade style games

because that was the only option on offer at the time. Oh, for sure. It was a great way to just like lose $10 because I'm bad at all these games. But it is fun though. This is something I never thought I would have as much fun doing, but I love these arcade bars. I was never the video game guy growing up.

I got three brothers, one's a video game producer. I never really played the competition of who gets to play next. Oh, sure, sure. So I kind of was never video game centric But so as an adult you're discovering video games a couple people just been bringing me to like at least the I love the old Arcades any play if it's vintage is this yes you went to I find it really fun sure it had You know, but all the video games are like they all look brand new. Okay, they're old, you know

did you ever do the thing I I never knew the like Etiquette of like you're when you're playing a game in an arcade and someone puts a quarter up or like, oh, like people put up multiple quarters and they're keeping track of who's playing next. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got next kind of thing. Oh, that's the pool. That's that comes from pool, doesn't it? Because that's what you do. You put your quarter up next. At least they did in New Brunswick.

Yeah, I don't put the coincide by each By each yeah, you don't want to mess with that system. So what did you play? I didn't we didn't play anything because we're like too loud. Let's go to another establishment They had one drink there and then went we're kind of every person above 40. You just heard that it's like yes Was it just the two of you? It was a There was four of us. Okay. Yeah, we ran into somebody that was also there It was a lot of the the audience was very picture what a podcast audience. Yeah. Yeah, that was the oh, yeah So we decided them handsome exactly. Well, they're raw. Yeah exotic

Quixotic So As we're trying to figure out well, we're escherotic ism only found in the neighborhood of podcasters Yeah, exactly. And you know, like you say good people saw through the earth really. Mm-hmm Generous very generous. Absolutely. We love them. Don't we, solidly the earth, really. Generous. Very generous. Absolutely. We love them, don't we, folks?

We love the podcast audience. We love them, don't we, folks? So, they're a lot of fun. We ended up going to... Probably. Probably. Some of the best people, biggest people in the world, probably. A lot of these podcast losers are goliaths.

Some big, some small, some little. That's the 45th time I've gotten a story off track. And 45th president. So there you go. That worked out. And 47th. Sorry, Graham. No, so the consensus was we're going find a place that has food. Yeah.

And so we went to Canadian chain. This is another couple you saw. Baskets Kyle finds, his wife Erin Hagan. Great folks. Great folks, absolutely. Just hang out with them the day before. Yeah, and this was just a happenstance. Oh, that's fun.

Are you gonna replace me? Dave, there's no replacing you. Not in a million years, not in a million anybody's, not a million podcast fans. They're great people. We love them. Can we just do one more take of that response? Just another version or another opinion of them? Dave, you're a diamond in the rough that is the universe.

There's only one Dave Shumcutt. There can only ever be one Dave Shumcutt. I know of two others. And just because Graham's so nice, give us a third one that is very cutting and mean, the opposite. I can't do it. I can't do it.

He's so good. I can't possibly do it. That was my game. Colin's here to stir the pot, but Graham knows it would ruin me. Neither of us can be involved in any kind of roast. Yeah. I don't even like roasting or tearing people down I just wanted to see how much cuz I I never really asked you guys how long you've been friends or anything like that

Yeah, I'm gonna interrupt the story and Graham can't be involved in roast because he's such a dumb loser Now you definitely have to put an electric guitar solo Now you definitely have to put an electric guitar solo. We love Graham, he's like a diamond in the road. Isn't he lovely folks? So we decided on Canadian chain. Yeah. Earls. Okay.

To Earls. Fun. Which one? Downtown or Yaltown? Yaltown. Yeah, Yaltown. Very well-to-do. How would you describe it for American listeners? What's the There is no real American analog. Um, it is sort of, it's like, it's a younger crowd. Yeah. It's for people who like have urban jobs and like just dress well for their office. And then,

you know, maybe they'll maybe I'll meet someone at Earl's or the boys and I are going to Earl's. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a, if a chain restaurant tried to be a cool club. Yeah, that's true. And it's, and the, and more often than not, it succeeds. Yeah. It's cool.

It really does. It's, it's, it's marveling what Earl's can pull off. Yeah. And it's, uh, you know, like we got in there music way louder Yeah, oh, yeah way louder than the first time I was gonna be my first question. Yeah, yeah, so loud The wait staff there great at one point the server was talking to us at the table for like a few minutes She had a whole tray in her hand the whole time. She was holding up drinks and just chatting Oh, she didn't have to do that. She's having time. She was holding up drinks and just chatting.

She didn't have to do that. She's having fun. She's having fun. That's great. We're all having fun at Earl's. That's nice. We went to Earl's on Mother's Day. Oh, like for a brunch?

No, for dinner. Oh. With Abby's parents. So there were, Abby was there, all four of us plus her parents. And they came and gave Mother's Day cards to Abby and Abby's mother. Aw. That's nice.

And Abby and her mother were like, what the fuck is this? Yeah. You don't know me. Yeah, that's true. He was like, is this business struggling? What's the deal here? Yeah, and also just assuming that

you're two women, you must be two moms. Yeah. Um, but yeah, Earls. I fucking hate Earls, beast of shit. That's right. Fuck them. And also I feel like- Sorry, edit that out or put a guitar solo over it.

Earls wasn't an out East establishment. No, no, no. I never heard, I never heard nor seen an Earl's in my life before coming to Vancouver. Was there anything like Earl's in New Brunswick growing up? There's nothing like it. It's a time in the road. No, no, there is. There is something, yes, it's called Boston Pizza. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, there really wasn't. There really wasn't any. There's nothing like Earl's. But I think, yeah, Boston Pizza would be kind of the smaller town version of an Earl's. Totally. I mean, they have the bright light version of, because Earl's can be a little dark. Yeah, oh yeah. The lights turn down.

It's moody. Yeah, it is. It's a pub. Yeah, it is. It's pop moody. But when I was a kid, we are like on a Sunday night, if my parents didn't feel like cooking, it would be, let's go to Earl's.

No fun. or Red Robin. It's fun, I would love it as a kid. But it wasn't the same. It was like more family friendly. They had this like, they had a motif of rhinos wearing sunglasses and parrots. Oh. And. Hangwins as well, I feel like.

Yeah. Oh, wild. And then who is Earl? He seems so. Oh, great question. He's so contemporary, He seems so, that's a great question. He's so contemporary no matter what the decade. There is a family that owns it and Earl is one of them. Earl's one of the guys. I think so.

Yeah. I think the family also had like, they own Joey's or Cactus Club or. They were all in that kind of like wacky family restaurant kind of thing. And then over time Moxie's and Earl's and Cactus Club. There's like, it is a type of restaurant. Yeah.

I think is like a weird Canadian. Yes. I think you're right. Like you're nailing it. Because it's a thing. It's what else? Brown's. Yep, Brown's.

Social Club. Like we've had like the keg. The keg, I was gonna say like that one goes off. We had a keg. You know what I mean? Jungle gyms, you know. Oh sure. That's Moncton. What was the one that was like, oh Monk McQueen's? Oh, I don't remember Monk McQueen's. I don't know that one. Oh, there's always good things happening. Meet you at Monk's. Nice. Oh, and then it became just Monks. Is it? Did they eventually just change it to Monks? What's Monks?

Because there's a place called there was a place when I came to Vancouver called Monks. Maybe it was a cafe. It might be. I don't know. Well, no Monks. Yeah, Monks was on Main Street. Yeah. Yeah. Wasn't there a place in Gastown called Monks that had like.

There definitely could have been. Maybe it was very popular. Maybe it was a franchise? Yeah, we had Tony Shalhoub was the big on the side of the wall just a 20 foot Tony Shalhoub statue. Either way, I mean these these places like Earls and Moxies and Browns. Joey. Joey! Which used to be Joey Tomatoes, which was a wacky... That was Joey Tomatoes? Yeah. Hey that was Joey Tomatoes? I knew in this case it was Joey Tomatoes. Oh, that's nicey nice. I had no slop gelop and ad connection. I love it. All that same Point is these beautiful places beautiful places Some of the best

The some of the best. They always make me make the same sound. I think I judged them at one point in my, you know, I feel like this, did you guys in your 20s, you're like, I don't go to places or you think you go into cool places when you develop into something. I don't know. Maybe I spent too much time and rock and roll in one point in my life while looking for a place to kill time before the show, there was a club that had like $4 shots. Yeah. Let's go in and get a $4 shot. That's it.

And there was a couple guys, like the DJ was in full swing and there was just like a couple of guys dancing there. They got there too early. No ladies to dance around. But he's like, I find like every time I go to like odd urls or a place like that now especially, I'm always just, I always say the same thing. I always, it makes my voice go high.

I go, it was good. Like I'm always like, pleasantly surprised. It's like, it is. It was really fun. It's pretty good. It is pretty good. And you know what? There is a like, I like to cook at home, but there's something about chain restaurant fettuccine

alfredo that you just can't replicate. It's true. It's true. They just do it. They do it all the way they want to. There's a- Heavy cream. And someone, I think our friend Stefan Heck on his Canucks podcast was talking about how

they did like the Vancouver Canucks. They're all like rich 20 somethings. Yeah. But dumb as rocks. And they asked them all like, what is your favorite sushi in town? Like, what is your favorite coffee place? What's your favorite? Whatever. And one guy said his favorite sushi was Earl. And that is what it is. It's like, yeah, we've got, you know, we got a bit of sushi. We've got, you know, bibimbap. We've got the classy food you've

heard about in big cities. That's it. Yes. We've got it in all in this under one roof. And it's always just called like the Asian fresh bowl. And you're like, are they allowed to call it that or something? And you're like, you're like, wow, that and then you find yourself saying it like that Asian fresh bowl was really good. It was really good.

It was really good. It had like a lot of tastes of the Pacific. It was really good. It was really good. It had like a lot of tastes of the Pacific. Should we move on to some over herds? Yeah, I don't know, man. I wouldn't mind spending like 15 more minutes on Earl's. Let's do it.

Jackie Cation, hi, and welcome to the MaximumFun.org podcast, the Jackie and Laurie show where we talk about standup comedy and how much we love it and how much it enrages us. We have a lot of experience and a lot of stories and a lot of time on our hands. So check us out. It's one hour a week and we drop it every Wednesday on nexamafund.org. Hello, internet.

I'm your husband, host Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife, host Teresa McElroy. And this is a promo for Schmaners. It's Extraordinary Etiquette. For ordinary occasions. Every week, we're gonna tell you about a bit of culture, a bit of history, how etiquette still applies in the modern day, all that stuff.

We also love to do biographies and histories of, and, you know, general procedurals, how to do etiquette in today's society. So come check it out every Friday on maximumfun.org or wherever you find your podcasts. Maners, shmaners. Get it? Overheard. Overheard is a segment of the show where basically, as it's said, you overhear things and then we talk about them on the show.

Or overscenes, these are also things that can be included. We always like to start with the guest. Colin, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I think it's brief. Knowing me, that could be wrong. 25 minutes later. So here's the story. Here we go.

Um, yeah, so I was, I was outside a China cloud studios, my little comedy club, art house, fun zone, little whatever you've never been. China cloud. So, uh, I was outside getting ready for a comedy show, putting out the sign. I'm always in a silly mood before, because I host my show, Comedy World. It's the only show I host. So I start noticing, I talk to people on the street, everywhere around me, because I'm just riffing.

I'm getting into the head space involuntarily. It just happens. My East Coast elements of perpetual gab, when nobody necessarily is talking to you, starts to happen. So talk about an overheard of an overheard. Okay, so these lovely young, cool folks, probably 21, 22. Barely legal yet.

Just so cool. They're just so contemporary. Barely legal. We got John Gay in the booth. I don't know what he did yet. I'm just assuming. These cool kids are going by and one of them, one of them was definitely like talking about, and we just need to like, we spent so much time on our phones and we just need to communicate on like more of a human level and connect

with people. It's getting so wild. It's just so nice to be human and like human connection and I never even I just like They're going by me. I just go truth I've never even responded To anything truth in my life. I am not like that. I'm literally I'm so They react Yeah They're like I'm so... Did they react? Yeah! Never! They were like,

Ugh! They were like, why is this fucking stranger talking to me? Basically, they're like, they go, ugh! And went full silent and stiff as they kept walking. I was like, oh, I just heard what you say, what a great thing. You gotta make a connection. You didn't deserve an ugh.

Thankfully, it ucked to me yeah thankfully, uh to me and I Probably shouldn't have said the word truth It just fell out of my mouth because these cool kids were coming by usually I just confidently talked like a 1920s and go You think you know I'll be like at a girl Rex or you know I'll say something at least That matches what I look like a little more Yeah, and I think truth is good because that's like one of the things Superman stands for. Yeah. Thank you, David.

Yeah, truth. I would have yelled, Justice! And Graham would have yelled, American way! Free Tibet! They're like, what is going on? But I was so embarrassed. Because I, I was like, I just never hear, I didn't think, they were just saying the right thing to me. And I just said the wrong expression.

Which I've never said and I won't say it again. I'm never going to respond to a sentiment I agree with. With truth. That being said, these these guys I was so happy about preach Preach They looked over at me, I don't know what I was wearing. I mean, I probably look like this but just me going testify for like truth Preach it sister Sisters yeah, you know and I don't know I Sisters? Yeah, you know, and I don't know.

I um. Yeah, it's, you've become, you've become an adult that, you know, these are their kids. They're not gonna hear this by the way, because they're not on their phones. Either way, I was, I was inspired. I was inspired by what they were saying. I was immediately let down by their physical repulsion to a stranger responding to the words that, of wisdom, of wisdom that they were saying. And I did, but I did appreciate that they had new goals, they just weren't ready to meet them yet.

Sure, yeah. I, you know, I've got a nephew who's 21, the gift of being in comedy, in the world of comedy is working with people 25 years younger than you, 25 years older than you, you constantly have a perspective if you're hanging out and having a good time. And it's really nice to sort of be it. So I just, I also ream a lot of young folks who just talk about like my friends

who are kind of complaining about ups and downs and things. I'm like, well, how often are you on your phone? You ever just like put it down and look up? I've been saying this thing to my younger friends like, don't forget we're bags of juice, you know what I mean? You can't just stay still like in this position. You gotta like look up, shake the pulp around. This is good. Otherwise you're gonna hurt whoever's consuming you. Instead of truth you should have been. Bags of juice! See if I had said we're all just bags of juice and they had no clue what I was talking about

I would have not been embarrassed because that's more me and they would have talked about it the whole night remember that guy You know just bags of juice. Yeah, that was wild. You know what they want to like you're right They would have like you're right. Just like bags of juice girls Actually, we kind of like it it. It's actually pretty good. We would've liked it if we didn't add girls! Anyway, I was inspired, you know. Sure! I'm sick of seeing people glued to the mood of their own phone, sad-faced and alone, stuck in a Zuckerberg cockhole.

I just let it... It's just nice to see the youth. It's nice to see the youth. Just broke into the beat. That's it man. I saw the greatest minds of my generation. That's it man. Two words kids.

Nirvana Unplugged. Yep. That's the entry point. I was gonna say, fine Nirvana if you unplug. Alright, let's talk. Dave, do you have it overheard? Hey guys. This is Dave here. All right, let's, uh, Dave, do you have it over here? Long. Yeah. Um, Hey guys, this is Dave here from the podcast. I'm just reminding you to listen to stop podcast yourself all weekend long.

That's right. We were going to be down at, uh, shag is shagging happy, uh, car dealership. Yep. Shagging up the car dealership. Um, here we go. It was a car dealership in Calgarygin' up beat. Here we go. This is car dealership in Calgary. Cars. Oh, is it?

This is a bumper sticker. It's an overseen. Love it. And it is a Subaru. Subarus, they go hard on bumper stickers. Yeah, I agree with that. More bumper stickers per inch on a Subaru than any other car, I think.

Yeah. That is very accurate. I saw a fender banner where the whole bumper fell off. Do you rescue the bumper sticker? That's why I have like, I've got stickers up here. I haven't stuck to anything. Cause I want the sticker to last longer than anything I own. Yes, absolutely.

Like if I stick a sticker to my cup, I'm like, well, I'm gonna keep that cup forever No, no, but you've got you've got a water balls Got a car sticker on you do so you have bumper stickers on your car. No, okay. Yeah, cuz I'm not that type Yeah, I wasn't sure if I would be but yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I just don't mean super I don't the road today as a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac Is that kind of the number see usually only half only half. Oh, actually, that makes sense. It does usually happen in the summer.

In the summer, yeah. Anyway, this is a bumper sticker I saw on a Subaru that said, honk if you're letting the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Wow. That's okay. And then I posted that on my Instagram and Alicia was like, oh, that's from a poem.

Here's the poem. Oh, okay, sure. But yeah, what poem? Who's the poem by, did she say? You're so excruciating. I love poems, I eat poems right up. They get me hungry. It's by Sir Mix-A-Lot.

It's, oh, I don't have it in front of me. It certainly makes a lot of do. Yeah. Anyway, it's from a famous poem and I just didn't get it, but I was like, I like adding honk to it. Hell yeah. Totally. Yeah.

And you were like, wow. When you bought it, you were like, wow, whoever made this bumper sticker should be a poet. Yeah. Who makes these things anyway? Yeah. I like seeing a car where they're like, you can tell they went into the bumper sticker section and they were like one of everything. Yeah, totally. I look at it, it's funny as I say, never put them on my car but every time I see them, my first thought is I would never do that in my car and then my side is man

I guess I doing this. Yes, I get in Bumper's there. These are funny my old landlady She was she had a car ton of bumpers to get back Political messages. Yeah, she had that coexist one. Yeah. Oh, yeah Save save clack watt sound save clack watt sound. Yeah, what was that? I don't know? What is that? That's on Vancouver Island? It was a big 90s What's your cutting was that the big tree? There was a story where she there was a tree? Yeah, there are many trees They were trying to save but there was that one of those like the big old tree and I know with this I do know the story. Yeah, I know it was like I'm not from BC

So some of this stuff I learned it. This was Yeah, this was easily 25 years ago. No, I did. I yeah, because a friend of mine has a book where, yeah, it's like, we all about it. And there's nice photos and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I remember I was unaware of it learned about it, like 11 years ago, I only learned about it from this bumper sticker. And that's the it sounds like something that we should save. Do you have an overheard? I do. Mine comes from this place, Earls. Is that Earls? Oh, they're the best.

Earls? Earls. Pretty good. It's actually pretty good. It's actually pretty good. The bathroom, you had to go down this very long, the walls are all shiny gold. Oh, you can't go to the bathrooms there. It has these shiny gold walls.

It seems like when you get to the bathroom you're gonna be like this bathroom is gonna be awesome. One urinal, one stall, for a whole restaurant. One urinal, one stall and I was in there just drying my hands and these two guys in there one guy's saying usually these places have better bathrooms than this. The other one said you've been to the one in North Van and the other Guys goes yeah choice If you go to Earl's you go to a lot of Earl's. Yeah, you gotta go to every Earl's and compare. Is it a thing when?

I don't know people maybe I don't know people at all but like it seems like If you're young you have a little bit of money and you like cocaine you go to Earl's. You go to Earl's. Yeah Thank you. I hope to talk about this because that's what I've always seen You have a little bit of money and you like cocaine you go to Earl's you go to Earl's That's cuz that's what I've always seen that's how I see it as a BC I don't want to trash Earl's you know what I mean? I'm not originally from here So I needed a little bit more confidence from I won't local lore and I've never seen cocaine in my life But I know the places that it inspires and like like I've seen, I've been in a cab where a little baggie was left behind.

Yeah, yeah. I never see it because it goes right up my nose before I even know the way. Yeah, baby. I don't do cocaine, but I like the way it smells. Oh man, someone's gotta write that down. Finally. Yeah, I've been asked for it my whole life,

so that's why I never, I mean, I hit puberty at the age of 13. The joke for anybody who knows me is like, you've always been this guy. And so, and I've been asked for coke ever since they thought I was a young man. So yeah, I never wanted to do it because I was always like, I don't know why everybody thinks I'm on coke. I probably shouldn't do it. Yeah, I shouldn't add to whatever they're seeing.

So every time I'm in a place that is like maybe a bit cokey, I kind of get looked at like that guy might have some. There's the guy that's got the... I'm up to some antics or something. Is there a journalist named Cokie Roberts? I feel like there is. I think there is. Yeah.

We should investigate some Ford Cocaine. And if you're listening, Cokie, someone's finally onto you. No, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you want to send one in, you can send it into SPY at MaximumFun.org. Are you looking up Koki Roberts? Just making sure, yeah. Oh, there she is. Koki. She's no longer with us. Oh.

Rest in peace. What happened to her? Well, she was 75. Yeah, did too much coke. Now, this first one comes from Tim from Vancouver. But you really want to look up Cause of Death? I'll do it. No, no, no, no. Leave it as a mystery. This is at an ACDC concert that happened in Vancouver just a few months ago.

As the band started playing a certain song, I overheard a woman behind me say, Woo, Highway to Hell. That was our wedding song. Nice. Yeah. I overheard a woman behind me say, woo, Highway to Hell. That was our wedding song. Nice. Yep. I wonder if they did the guitar, the guitar walk at their first dance.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Put on like a cap and a little schoolboy uniform. But there's also, that's a very, very funny thing. That was our wedding song, Highway to Hell. This endless road to hell. It's like the imagery for your wedding song is so funny. funny thing. That was our wedding. The highway to hell. This endless road to hell. Yes. It's like the imagery for your wedding song is so funny. How does that one start? Does it start with the guitar?

Yeah. There it is. I'm just picturing hell's bells, but that starts with bells. Hell's bells. Yeah. Bong. That's quite an intro, isn't it? I mean, if you're going to do a ACDC song for your wedding, do Shook Me All Night Long. Yes! At least it's about fucking...

It's about eternity, not just like the internal road to hell. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, you want to... She was a fast machine. She kept her motor clean. Exactly! I think that that's, I was like, this was our wedding song. And these two are listening to that.

Like Jesus, I want to hear this song with a horny lady who washes her ass. This next one comes from Alison M, Parts Unknown. I was in the park and heard a young guy talking to his friends about how he used to do high level competitive hockey as a kid. He said for the guys who didn't make it to the NHL, they're either working, working at Best Buy,

an insurance broker, or in jail. The three, the three posts. I would also say car dealership. Yeah, if I remember Tom Cochran's song, Big League, it was, there's not many ways out of this cold northern town. You work in the mill or get laid in the ground. Oh, shit. If you have a jump, it'll be with the game.

Real fast and tough is the only clear lane to the big league. Ah, that good. That's kind of like that. Woo-hoo! The Cookie Monster does that one part, that one line. Cookies! That's a different song. Get out of the booth, Cookie.

C is for Cochran. It's good enough for me It's for Goki. All right This last one comes from Matt from Winnipeg My five-year-old or four-year-old son, sorry, pulled the drawstring of his shorts to the maximum length Let it dangle between his legs and said look guys. I have the biggest penis in the world Good one, kid. Check it out everybody, look what I'm doing. Oh, that was a kid. I thought you said it was the 47th president of America.

I'd love to see him in drawstring shorts. Now in addition to over-heards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos. You want to send us a voice memo? Do it. I dare you. Record it on your phone and email it to SPY at MaximumFun.org or call us at 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh.

Ugh. Did that guy just say truth? That's one. Ugh, Spypod one like these people have. Hi, Graeme, Dave, and possible guest. This is Maggie Calling from Kingston, Ontario, Canada, with an overheard. I was walking my dog this morning past the local youth shelter when there were a bunch of kids hanging out front smoking and there was an incredibly huge bright flash of lightning and all the kids were like

wow woo! And one kid's like give it to us God come on give it to us! There was a slight pause and then there was a huge boom of thunder and he was like yeah thank you God. So that's my overheard. Thanks and off I go. Yeah, I'm a big fan of thunder. Yeah, and I love that it's always friends with lightning. Yeah, I honestly, when we don't get them very much here in BC, we don't get a lightning and thunder. It's very rare.

That man when you see it. Thunderstruck was your wedding song. Although we just kind of sound like a couple of leprechauns. All right. Here we go. Hey, Dave, Graham and possibly a guest. This is Luke in Brooklyn calling in with an overheard. I was at the Jersey Shore with my family at a park and I was walking with my partner and there was a man walking towards us who was on the phone and this guy was kind of like a Del Griffith type, kind of a jolly guy with a neat little mustache. Peter Griffith? And I heard him say to the-

I think Del Griffith from, John Candy from Plains Transylvania. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Griffin. And I heard him say to the. Del Griffith from John Candy from Plains Trans. Transautomobiles. Oh, my gosh. Person on the other end of the phone. Oh, yeah. My keister of a son.

I took him fishing the other day. He snapped the rod right in half. No freaking way. Like he's sort of a son. My keys are what a boob. What a boob. My keister of a son. My keister of a son. What a boob. What a boob. My keister of a son. Great in half. That's such a nice, cute way to refer to it. That my son's an ass. Oh totally. But also like, his fishing skills are bad. Yeah, he snapped the rod in half. I don't, whenever I see a fishing video, I don't understand how those

rods, they're so thin and they get bent over so much I don't know how they don't snap all the time. Oh, yeah, and then you got a if you crank it wrong They'll they'll let you hear it. Yeah used to be Fishing show that would be on after something I liked and I'd watch it. Oh, yeah It was called was it on Was it Bob Azumi's on global or something Bob Azumi's fishing television? I think that's what it was. Yeah Yeah, what Bob? it Bob Azumi's? Was it on global or something? Was it Bob Azumi's fishing television? I think that's what it was.

Yeah. What, Bob, what's his? Azumi? Ah, yes, it's Bob Azumi. Now I used to edit a TV show called Wings Over Canada, which was about a guy who had a, like a Cessna and he ran, flew all over Canada and went to like fishing lodges and stuff

and visited small towns. And, uh, but he, one time he's, I heard him say, Oh, I just wish I could have do Bob and zoomies show that guy's got it made. He just fishes all day. Not me who fishes a lot of days and flies his own plane the other day. Anyway, here's your final phone call. And he never dies. Hi, Dave and Graham and probable guests.

This is Elizabeth in Portland, Oregon. I am calling slash sending in a recorded voice memo with an overheard. I was getting my nails done today at the nail salon and somebody else who was there at the same time was greeting someone who was coming in and she said, Oh my God, have you talked to Amelia lately? And the person was like, Oh yeah, I mean, I see, I see her all the time. And then she said, did she tell you about her pussy? No frigging way. Off I go. That's all she was talking about.

That's confidence, man. To just say that blank with just like a big open space. Yeah. Did she tell you about her pussy? Good story coming up. That's just not a soft landing. No. We're going right into it.

Well, that brings us to the end of this podcast. Colin, tell us all the things that you're doing in your mid to late August. August and beyond. Yeah. August beyond, yeah. Let's see, continuing the comedy world classics, man. August 8th, August 22nd.

We do them every second and fourth Friday. That's my standup comedy show I host at China Cloud Studios. Yeah. It's the only one I host. It's so much and fourth Friday. That's my standup comedy show I host at China Cloud Studios. It's the only one I host. It's so much fun to do. It's very fun. I'm glad you say that, Graham. I just enjoy it a lot.

Whether it's packed or just a small group, it's been great. So yeah, come on out to any of those. August 8th, August 25th. Producing Sophia Johnson, an excellent comedian. Yeah, New Zealand comedian, Vancouver local for a long time. She's September 27th at the review stage on Granville Island in Vancouver, BC.

It's shaved enough to be great. Her set right now is very, very fun. So that's something, look up Sophia Johnson. We'll get ready to do that. That's gonna be a fun show. I did Jacob Samuels last year. I co-produced that with them and something I'm having fun doing right now.

Yeah. I'm doing one. I've been. And something I'm having fun doing right now. Yeah. I'm doing one, I've been working on my show, working up to next year, doing a second special for myself. Nice. And so it's fun kind of working with other folks, different venues, trying some different places. Yeah. I'm flattered that I've been asked.

So I'm proud of that right now. That's great. I think I'll gab about that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being our guest. Pleasure. I love this podcast. And to everybody out there, thank you so much for being our guest. Pleasure. I love this podcast. And to everybody out there, thank you for listening. If you do feel that somebody's telling something that's true, feel free to yell truth at them. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun, a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.