Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 911 - Steph Neale

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

Comedian Steph Neale joins us to talk Spice Girls, Naked Gun, and puppet school. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host. Stop podcasting yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode number 9-11 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark.

always is a man who never forgets, Mr. Dave Shumga. Now, if we had started this podcast one week later in our, when we originally started it. Yeah. The episode 9-11 would have fallen on the week of 9-11. Ah, shit. But instead, we're stuck with stupid old September 1st. But, you know, happy 9-11 to you. Yeah.

Boy, where were you? I was sleeping off a night of drinking at my friend's apartment that he let me live in his office while I was going to film school because I had no money. In Vancouver? And he was a radio DJ. So his whole morning had been reporting on this, like he was on the air when it happened. And he came home and we started drinking. When did you move to Vancouver? In 2000 and 2000, in the year 2000.

Okay. Because on the two weeks ago, the, I said he moved here in 2020. Yeah. Everybody should know that it was a missed, you know, everybody knows I've been here this long. There was a long thread about like, hmm, were they on Zoom for the first 10 years? Yeah. Before Zoom existed. But yeah, where were you?

I was in Victoria. Yeah. asleep. I wasn't. Nobody woke you up. And then Abby woke me up and she was like, uh, Dave. Dave,

there's like been an attack on the Twin Towers. George W. She was the president and I believe my first word tour with that maniac in the White House. Then I went home. I had slept at Abby's place. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's right. And then I went home. I watched all day. Yeah. There was very little. Good TV. Good TV. Our guest this week, very funny comedian, first-time guest here on the podcast, it's

Steph Neal. Hello, Steph. Hello. Where were you on 9-11? I was in grade three. Okay. In grade three. Did it make sense to you?

But you were in the same time zone as that. We were out west. Oh, right. Right, right. So, like, it happened while we were asleep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember my teacher wheeled in.

a TV, and we watched the news in grade three. In, like, did that happen in every classroom? Yeah, there's definitely not an, I don't know. Not enough TV. Yeah, it's certainly not. Yeah. Maybe they, we took turns. Yeah.

You guys have already seen enough. Yeah, you see. You know the first tower fall. You know the next one. You know what. Did it make any sense to you? No. I didn't really know what, yeah.

Yeah. But that what, what New York. I don't know where do you Or yeah It didn't make sense Like a terrorist attack What does that mean? Yeah

Yeah Yeah Well should we get to know us I think we've already gotten to know us Quite a bit Should we do it now? Steph We're talking about wheeling and intelligence

It's a thing we've been doing Lately asking guests What TV shows Slash movies Did your teacher show you during your schooling years, not just that grade, but just any grade at all.

Right. Yeah. Yeah, where a TV set was being wheeled in and... Yes. I took law in high school. You took law in high school? Law class.

And all I remember was that we watched Boston Legal. I know it's going to be Boston Legal. It was the best. Now, I get Boston Legal and the practice mixed up. Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Is William Shatner on one of them? Is Cameron Mannheim in one of them? Is? I want to say William Shatner. Dermit Mulroney? No, Dylan McDermott in one of them. I think you're right.

It was William Shatner was in Boston Legal. And there's a female actor that we would know well, and I can't think of. Angie Carmen. No, that was a lot of her. Boston Legal. Pull it up. Pull it up. Now, American Comedy Drama Series.

I didn't think of it as a... I don't remember it being fun. James Spader Okay Bill Shatner Good cast Julie Bowen Julie Bowen

Oh yeah Rona Mitra No Don't know Julie Bowen from From Monom family right Oh yeah

Monica Potter Lake Bell Oh I like Lake Bell Candy Bergen Mark Vell Candice Bergen was on it Yeah she played Murphy Brown

Yeah Is that who's in the Yeah that's who I'm thinking of Yeah Wow Good times, yeah. Did it make you want to be a lawyer? Not at all.

Not at all. I do feel like... No, yeah. Not for me. My high school didn't have law class. Mine either. But there were occasionally like, you know, you'd get offered a weird class. Yeah.

Like, I think they had like our friend, one year we were, I was in French immersion. So half of everything was French. And we had like, the French teachers were just scrambling to come up with. with like an art class for the, for French class. And so like one third of the year we did French film. One third we did French, I don't know. And then one third of the year we did printmaking. And it was like.

Of course. And the guy teacher was like, I don't, I don't know. We just had to come up with something. So I feel like a law teacher could have been like, well, I got a textbook. Yeah, like she was certainly not a lawyer. Yeah, I feel like in high school, I was the. I had the benefit of a teacher throwing together a creative writing program that was a real let us go smoke whenever we wanted. He was super cool.

He made us write poems. And then when you're a teen, try to stop writing poems, I say. Were you a poem, poet in high school? I might have been a bit of a poet. Yeah. I feel like maybe like grade seven or eight. I think around that time, that's when I was feeling a lot. I wouldn't come.

No. Happy teen? Yeah. Nice. Oh, cool. Things were going your way. A little sweetie. School sweetie.

I was a little sweetie. Were you voted School Sweetie? Everyone called me School Sweetie. Now, before the assembly today, our school sweetie is going to come out and do a little cheer for you. Yeah, do some poses. You know you a stinker. That was me. Did you like high school?

Yeah. Yeah. It's not often that a person that goes into stand-up comedy loved high school. Yeah. Yeah. Then you loved 9-11, too, right? I loved it. I love everything.

Jesus is so positive, yeah. You got to find the light. Yeah, no, I did. I liked high school. I was into, like, drama. Oh, yeah. We had dance. Did you have dance class?

No. No, we had like square dancing in gym. Oh, okay. Yeah. Fun. No, my, like, morning would always, I would always be like dance or drama, drama dance. And that would be my morning. Wow.

You really get to express yourself. Exactly. Nice. Do you still dance? Um, no. No. Fair enough. I got the club, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Does anyone, like, it is weird because it's, as a parent, I'm like, okay, my kids need to be in programs. Right. Take like a dance class or something.

And like it's important for and I keep and they don't want to do any of it. And I'm like trying to explain to them why it's important and I don't know. It's like well, you don't like being in sports. Right. But that's fine because when you grow up, you're not going to be a professional soccer player probably anyway. But you could take printmaking. We've got a course of the community college.

But like, yeah, let's find something for you to do. But none of it is like necessarily, you learn skills. and you learn, like, how to be a member of a team. Yeah. Yeah. Community and whatnot, yeah. But you also. You never go to the club and, like, okay, the six of us have a root to dance routine.

Everybody back off. Put Motown Philly on. What dance and do you remember what songs you dance to? Um, I remember an awesome dance to a Bjork song, actually. Oh, yeah? Yeah. It was a modern. We did, like, modern interpretive.

Oh, fuck. What was the song? Now, is this something that they were like... I could do it for the... Okay, two, three. Well, it's not... Is it... It's also quiet?

Maybe. Because that's the... Is that... Is that... Is that... Yes. Yes. That's perfect.

Yeah, okay. That's the least... Sing it? Bjor... Okay. Sorry, sing it. You run that bell! Sing for that.

Exactly. Yeah. But then it gets quiet. Yeah. Were you given your own chance to interpret, or did they give you, here's the interpretation, now you follow my interpretation. Yeah, I know it's like a five, six, seven and one, two, yeah. Your law teacher was all flustered. So here's what I've come up with.

No, the high school dance teacher, that was like her job, like, how sick of a job is that? Yeah. She just taught dance at high school. Do you think that she, was she dancing out? Was that her side gig was going out and dance auditions and such? No. No, she wasn't a dance. I think she was somewhat of a dancer.

Somewhat of a dancer. Do you, um... Trash talking her. She was lovely. Yeah. She stopped to dance. Are you like... Because like, if you're into dance, I'm just wondering what kind of like culture you could consume.

Are there like, do you watch like dance movies or... Yeah, say the last dance. Dirty dancing, huge, huge. Growing up. Dance moms. I guess that's more of the... Yeah, step up. Step up.

Oh, step up. Step up. Step up to the streets. Yeah. Yeah, I'll fuck around with that for sure. I loved, yeah. Did you have when you were angry, did you have aspirations of being a dancer? No.

Okay. What are you aspiring to as a young high school sweetie? As a high school sweetie, I, as the school sweetie. I wanted to be an actor, yeah, early on, and I figure skated. Yes, okay. So I kind of liked dance because of figure skating, I think, but I never wanted to. How did you realize you were good? Because this was always my worry of that I grew up not knowing that I'm really good at a thing that I never tried.

You know, like, I might be a great shot putter or something like that. Yeah. How do you, what struck you about, why did you become a figure skier? I think my mom forced me to be honest. Yeah. Yeah. She's like a fan, like a lifelong figure, like, Figure skating fan, okay.

Who did she like? Big in our family. She had Nancy Kerrigan, kind of Elizabeth Manly. Probably, yeah, she's, who's her favorite? Like, she would kill me if I didn't get it right. Oksana Bayou? Christy Aboguchi. Oh my gosh, I can't think like that.

Peggy Fleming? When I was growing up, we loved Jeffrey Buttle. Do you know that? No. I know Sophie Buttle. Oh, yeah. Jeffrey Butler. He was like a Canadian figure skater.

Really? Like watched. Was he from what era? He was like Patrick Chan. Yeah, I know Patrick Chan. Who's this? Did he meddled? Did he meddled?

He meddled? He meddled in some other people's affairs. Maybe got a bronze and... Hell yeah. Tonya Harding meddled. She meddled in Nancy Kerrigan's leg. Yeah, I feel I've heard this before that being bronze is the people are the happiest to win bronze. Because silver means you just miss the gold, but bronze is like, you made it.

Right. You know, you eeked into the podium. But that doesn't include people who won gold. Obviously that. They're probably really happy. But they have no friends anymore. Everybody turns on them when they win the gold. So true.

Yeah. So true. Did you go in competitions? A little bit. In high school, I was competing quite a bit. And then I was on a synchronized figure skating team. Now we're talking. Have you seen this?

No. Oh, yeah. It's like. It rules. Because. When we think of figures yet and you think of singles and doubles. Yeah, yeah. But explain synchronic.

Yeah, how many? 20. You're talking 20. Oh, wow. All girls? Men are involved as well. Okay. This is like ice capades level of like. Yeah.

Wow. And yeah, they do like lifts. It's not in the Olympics, but we're really vouching as the community we really would like for it to be. Are you still remember? Well, you know what? A lot of my friends, my good friends, I met synchronized skating. Really? Yeah.

Well, you go through something like that. Yeah. We're all short. I think like when I met my boyfriend, he's like, all your friends are short. And it's because we were all in the same line. Oh, okay. Was there a different line for talls? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Really? To talls, does short have an advantage in figure skating or is tall where you want to be? I don't really know I think I think short can be I feel like a lot of the harsh I feel like short is the way to go

Yeah Powerful legs Right Yeah Did you do Did you do jumps Did you do quads? Mm-mm

Do you salkouse? I did salkhouse for sure I ripped salkaus Loops Oh how many jumps can you name How many jumps are there There's cell cows and loops There's flips

To loop And are flips They're illegal Lutz No Lutz Lutz is a good one Lutz is a hard jump A flip is a spin right

Or is a flip of flip Well the one I'm talking about Is the flip is illegal Like the jumping up Oh yeah I think it isn't illegal Any more I think my mom told me

Tune in To the next worlds because flips are legal. Oh, shit! Yeah. And someone did a flip. And it was amazing. There was a...

Saria Bonnelly? Yeah, she was like, she was cast out because she told you can't flip. And she was like, watch me. And she did during a, I think during the Olympics. And then she was banned. Oh, yes. Yes, yes. Yeah.

Familiar. She flipped so that everybody could flip. Yeah. Right. Well, now there's going to be so many head injuries. Yeah, of course. Oh, yeah. Is it, you're speeding around.

You're going quite fast with your finger skating. No helmet, though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I always, whenever I fell and I hit my head, I always hit like my bun, my skate, you know. Oh. So kind of like a helmet.

I would like hit it real hard and be like, oh, yeah, that was almost skull, but. But. What songs did you synchronized? skate too um mostly bjork the first number actually when i was young when i was put into this um i was maybe like 10 yeah it's amazing we skated to austin powers oh i'm sure the like but did it did yeah and we had like the you know the what are those sleeves called like the the austin power type sleeves oh like a frill like a frill sleeve like on our dresses that's pretty cute yeah um that's great i can't i can exactly picture it in my head how a dance to

that would go that's just an ice dance yeah yeah oh fun yeah did you ever get a chance to pick your own music um yeah but it was always a classical kind of music i couldn't really tell you what i want yeah i remember elvis stoiko did a big number too crazy little thing called love and i can't ever hear that song without picturing him it is a fantastic mullet yeah i every for a while was skating to a Michael Blubley

song that was like huge in the figure skating in the world I'm like all you heard

Michael Bubley every well when he was big he was really yeah yeah he's from

around here oh no kidding yeah you should go tour his I should go and see him his estate I went to his

concert and I stood in the front row like ah was there anyone else Under 60? No, no, it's me and my sisters. I have three sisters, and we're all like,

Woo-hoo! Michael! Booms! Ladies? It's awesome. Favorite top three Michael Boubley songs. She doesn't remember the names of song. Fever. There you go, fever.

Here's my top three. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Santa buddy. Santa Buddy, Santa Buddy, I forgot. Sand Buddy is... Okay, so fever. Just haven't met you yet. Yeah, I don't know.

Some other Frank Sinatra one. Yeah. You were really in the front road at the concert? Oh, yeah. I've never been in the front road at any kind of heated event. Yeah. Yeah, I've never made my way. You fire your way through the pit, clearly.

Sure, absolutely. During a... You've never been in the front row. No. I never have a front row tickets. Okay. But have you... Okay, you've made your way

to the front row of a concert. No. No. I think probably the best I probably got to third row. But you were tiny. You could just swivel in. I used to do that all the time. I get to the front and just have my ribs crushed against the...

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like... I like... I'm like 5'1 and I just feel like... like I can't enjoy concerts unless I'm in the front row, you know what I, yeah, I'm just like, I may as well be at home watching this on YouTube.

Yeah, I, uh, what's the most, I guess live music is. What's the most recent concert you went to? Michael Bubli. Yeah, I kind of follow Michael Bubli on tour. Stars. Oh, stars. Yeah. That's a good concert.

It was great. Yeah, that's the thing about going to a conference. concert is like you're seated during the preamble and then as soon as that first note starts oh crap the person in front of me is so tall yeah or has big hair or something like that or like you'll be standing in the middle of his general admission you'll be standing you're like oh it's actually not that crowded hey we're in a pretty good spot and then as soon as the rush to the front of the stage starts 10 more minutes and you're fucked yeah I'm totally fucked now yeah no I've I've been in that situation because I'm not I'm not a towering

Inferno myself. You're a smoldering little campfire. But yeah, it's, I'm trying to think. I mean, there were concerts I for sure wanted to be in the front row. Sure. But never made the cut. Yeah. I'm so worried about them picking on me.

Yeah. Right. Yeah, that's huge right now, too, I think, people. Yeah. What's his name? Is it Steve Aoki, though? that throws cakes. Oh, he just throw cakes into the audience,

like entire, like, grocery store sheet cake. And, like, people will have signs like, cake me. Please, please, yeah. Yeah, make me your little cake slut. Yeah, I've never, I've been in audiences where somebody has, like, got a pick or something like that that's been thrown in the audience.

Never, never got a souvenir from. Yeah. Maybe somebody from the band Moist through something and I might have had a. Like, you would get, like, you would try to get a, you know, when the roadies come out after the show, hey, can I have the set list? Yeah, yeah, that's cool.

Oh, yeah. I need a set list. I'd kill for the set list. I had a thing, and I lost it. That's all right. You're Spice Girls fan. You're wearing a Spice Girls. I am.

Just looking back over their career, they were fucking amazing. Yeah. Like, what a hit machine that is. Seriously. Like every. Every song, pretty much. Totally. Huge hit.

Yeah, I've been actually playing it a lot. It's true. Recently, been really delving into some more Spice Girls recently. Did you... Now that I've had sex. You're like, oh, I think we just sick as he go of. Oh, wow. Oh, two just became one?

Is that right? This makes a lot more sense. Is that right? Is that what's happening? Honey? This was like a thing at the time, but like, or I don't know. Maybe it was manufactured, but like, did you identify her with one specific spice girl? Like, did everyone have to have a favorite?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, too. And yours was? Posh, spice. Posh. Oh, the most talented one.

Yeah. She didn't have to do anything. She was just a present. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was kind of her thing. But I remember there being major fights over baby.

Baby was like big at my school. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know, she was kind of the most, who would be the most accessible to it? Like, who's the most? Baby to a child baby. Let me see. Which one's scary?

Oh, she's too scary. Yeah. Sexy, too sexy. Well, ginger. I mean, eventually we all came around to calling her ginger spice, didn't we? Yeah, I feel like that was a prisoner. Or that was like a philosopher's stone, sorcerer stone kind of thing. They tried to make her sexy in North America.

Yeah. Because we didn't call Redheads Ginger. No. And rounding out the acts, sporty. She was, I think, was agreed upon. She was the best singer. Yes, no? I don't agree with that.

I mean, I don't like her voice at all. I know. I don't think I do either, but. It's when people are like, oh, yeah. Like, when someone points out, oh, she's got the best singing voice, like she's the most talented. She can control the notes the best. I don't necessarily like the, like Christina Aguilera.

Yeah. Better switch me chairs so I could sit next to Carcadalia and Fred Dern. Yes. I, uh, but she was good and baby when you're gone with Brian Adams. Yeah. We can all agree. Even food. Don't taste that good.

Um, did you, when you were youth, did you see the Spice Girls movie? And how did you like it? I loved it. So much. I can see that, like, exactly where the VHS was in my basement. Oh, it's like my. What are we, is that a weekly watch? Probably for a time, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And do you ever see them in concert? See, sorry. The Spice Girls, have you ever seen them in concert? Oh, no, no. That's fine. Did they, they broke up around 9-11?

Hmm, interesting. Yeah. And then they reformed for the London Olympics and that was it? Yeah, and then I maybe did some kind of tour in the UK, but I don't know if they... Yeah, I feel like they sold out the O2 Arena a couple times. Oh, sure, certainly. The O2, maybe Wembley. There is...

I saw someone asking, like, because apparently the big... What's that big dome in Vegas? The big sphere? The sphere, yeah. Right. Clearly, that's in trouble. Oh. Already?

Yeah. In what way that... There's not... There's not enough demand. Sure. Or artists can't... I guess, like, an artist, like, Backstreet Boys did a residency recently. At the sphere?

Yeah. And were they able to... It seems like it's huge. They filled it, but, like, the idea is that you would fill it for a year. Yeah, that's tough. You play, like, months at a time. And no one can really do that. And I wonder if the spice grills could.

I think everyone would go to Vegas. Right. Yeah, I'd go to Vegas to see the Spice Girls. Yeah. When I went to Britain, right when they were first around, they dominated Britain. They were everywhere. Right. You lived in.

I didn't live there. Just a vacation. I was just like, man, oh man, do they rule the roost out here? Everything was Spice Girls, everything. When I was young, I went to Britain. and got, like, the dress. Oh, man. Yeah.

Did you wear it? Oh, yeah. The Union Jack. Yeah. That is... Ginger's signature look. I know. That's such a, like, as a kid, you're like, oh, this is so cool.

And would you do it now? I think so. Okay. I just would be, like, because it's so singularly her thing, it's like, nice costume. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right.

I don't think I would just, like, go, like, get groceries. But I'm very sensitive to criticism. Okay. Oh, get groceries. Oh, hi, Ginger. Yeah, Ginger's here again. You do, you wear it every time you go to Thursday. Yeah, that's my laundry day outfit, yeah.

Like, I, like, try to subtly dress as my heroes, but people always point out, like, you know, okay, Tintin. Yeah. Okay, William Shatner from Boston. Nice pantaloons. Yeah. Did you ever have a Spice Girl's Chupa Choup? No. Oh, well.

Oh, you missed out. Yeah. But to like a lollipop? Like a lollipop? What was different about it? It had a Spice Girls wrapper on it? Oh, yeah, I don't know if I... I remember you could go into the convenience store and get, like, pictures of them?

Oh, really? Yeah, like, buy... Oh, sure. It would look like they just did, like, shot a disposable camera and got it, like, yeah. Oh, so it looked like photos. Yeah, and you would just, like, go through the photos when you got home. Like, yes, yes, yes. And that's what all it was.

Yeah. You would just... You were spice girls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever get those magazines that were just, like, not even a teen magazine, just a magazine of the Spice Girls. Salute to Spice Girls.

Who is it who sat out the reunion? Was it posh? It was posh, right? Didn't she not go for the reunion they did? Did someone sit out? I feel like Posh did, but I could have been, I could have been a fever dream, you know? I feel like they did. I was without Victoria Beckham.

They did a tour in 2019. Yeah. Crazy. That was her problem. Yeah. You know? She was never the same after you married Beckham. That's true.

Yeah. She wasn't as posh. Or maybe she was too posh. Yeah, I think that's, that was it. Yeah. She found her true calling. Just being overly posh. Yeah.

Just being a rich lady. Rich wife. Yeah. I love the one, like in the scramble for character, she's like, I'll be the rich one. Yeah. I'm the rich one. When everyone to think I'm rich. I guess I'll be

Baby, Spice. Gu-go-Gagas, I guess what I'll do. Do you, I remember much music used to always show this like before they were stars, Spice Girls special. And what was the song they used to sing on it? It wasn't one of their hits, but it was like them doing a dance rehearsal to this song before it came out or before, like, that never came out. Right.

And they were. That's a good piece of trivia. I don't know if it is. Sorry about that. Did the guy who assembled the spice girls? Did he assemble other groups the way Lou Pearlman? No. Oh, yeah.

Did he? Or did he have a hand in like Pop Idol? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that. Like, I don't think he was one and done. I think he somehow kept in. Yeah.

But you can only invent one spice girls. You can't invent a second spice girls. But you can't accept, you know, You know, second backstreet boys, call them Insync. Yeah. Right. You could do a, yeah, you could do maybe an S-Clip 7. Oh, yeah.

Esclope 7 seems like a direct descendant. Yeah, in the family tree of the surprise girl. I think I read that their show is like going to be on a net, like, um. Oh. Netflix or something. S-Club 7? Yeah. Do you remember, like they had their show, like S-Club.

Yeah, we loved it. Yeah. I remember their show more than certainly their music. I remember there were one song, Es Club. And you had to jump into the ass. Oh, and certainly there were other British people like Billy Piper and who were the Irish. No, they weren't British.

They were Irish and they. The Coors were Irish too, but there was this girl group. Oh, and there's like a, they have like a little talking part. In the video, they all wore like Canadian. tuxedo, all denim. Oh, nice. And one of them said... I feel like this...

You're accessing a memory of mine, but I can't... A spoken word part where one of them goes, people say, I look like me dad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Say Levy, I remember that song. I don't remember that.

Uh-huh. I don't remember. People say it looked like me dad. I don't recall that. I remember seeing an interview with an all-girl band that had a song featured on the Mighty Morphan Power Rangers movie and talking about like this is going to be huge for us. Oh, was it? Was it, we're in trouble. Yeah.

Come along and its first star bubble. How do you know that? Because I watched YTV. I watched Tarzan Dan back in the day, didn't I? Did you watch YTV growing up? A little bit. Yeah? Yeah.

Was your favorite. You don't have a memory of it. Fair enough. Yeah. We're accessing a lot of your pop culture influences. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember like... It was shampoo was the name of the band.

And that song was huge and it blew them up. It was a duo. Shampoo was the name of the band. Yeah. It's a pretty good name for a band that never was taken before that. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah.

Because I was thinking that the other day is, like, have all the, like, one word just down. Well, that's why, like, apparently, that's why every app is, like, a grinder without an E or because all those names were taken during the dot-com boom. Like the weekend. Yeah, the weekend had to lose an E. Guess the last concert that he saw? The weekend. You betcha. Awesome.

I love the weekend. He puts on a such a good show. The Hills is one of my favorite songs. Yes. Ever. And they always do like fired from the, when the, when the bead drops. He was fire all over the place. He was wearing a mask for the first three songs.

I was like, oh, this isn't the whole concert like this. Right. And he took it off. Oh, yeah, there is the weekend. Everybody loves them. Yeah. He did a thing where people were getting crushed in the front row and he was making sure security was making sure everybody was safe.

Oh, okay. In the middle of the concert. Yeah. Graham mentioned this a few weeks ago and I was like, I had no idea you liked the weekend. And then listeners pointed out, Dave, he's mentioned it before. Oh. I do.

I have an abiding love of the weekend. I think he makes like fire track after fire track every. There was two songs, the whole concert I didn't know. I think he makes fire truck after fire truck. Oh, wait, I'm thinking of. Oh, you're right. Richard's scary. I can't think of a company that makes fire trucks.

Ford? Is it a special company that makes fire trucks? If they were, that would be their lead advertising source. Like, we make, the only one to make fire trucks. Well, they're advertising. They're advertising source. They're still going to be like, what starts with F and ends with UCK? Not bad.

Not bad. What is, I got to look up. What was the last concert you were at? It was Stars. Was Stars. Yeah. Yeah, we'll just ask you this one more time. Last concert.

So it was Stars. So in your earlier testimony, you were, you. You said what? We're just going to read that back. Oh, you said stars. Is that still true? We went to law class in high school. And who?

I know I really don't go to concerts as much anymore. I didn't either. And then I realized if you buy tickets the day of, you just buy a single ticket, you can get really good seats. Oh, amazing. Yeah. So like the one I was at, the original ticket was $350. I got it for $120.

Not bad. Not bad. And if you don't have to have. Friends, if you're kind of a loser, kind of a loner. That is perfect. And if your wife is like, get out of the house. Yeah, please, please, please, please. Bring me alone.

Some prominent fire truck manufacturers are Pierce, Rosenbauer, E1, Spartan, ERV, Ferrara, and Smeel. It sounds like there's too many. Yeah. Too much competition. You can lease one. I was at a fair this past weekend of my nephew got to sit on a fire truck. And then he was asked by the fireman, do you think it would be a fireman one day?

He was like, no. This is good. That's great. Maybe in the off season from the Canadian Football League. That's like, they must love that question to ask every kid that. Yeah, because every kid's saying, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No.

More of a cowboy guy. I'm going to be a business administrator. He's going to be a pirate. He's going to be a pirate. Or he's going to be Darth Mall. Those are the two. Oh, really? He's got on his radar.

Is he thinking maybe? Because he likes pirates and Darth Moll because he's been watching Star Wars and Captain Phillips. Yes, Captain Phillips. He always says to me whenever I show up, I'm the Captain Now. I'm going to be a Somali pirate. Yeah, that movie really, that was a scary movie. Captain Phillips, yeah. Yeah, I mean, it could happen.

Have you seen it? No. Has anyone seen it? I know, I'm like, I remember the trailer. I saw it once, but it was like, I had to make myself, I was like, you know what? Tom Hanks never seems to me wrong. He's like a captain in a lot of ways. And he's a captain, yeah.

Yeah. And it, I didn't love it. I don't know why I've seen it twice, but I have seen it twice. And I liked him. That guy that played the lead pirate. He moved to Hollywood. Yep. He moved to Hollywood.

And he couldn't get any other rolls. And it was like, no, because I think people do think you're an actual pirate. Yeah. I think he was in. I feel like he was in something, no. I believe he was in a movie with Helen Mirren called Eagle Eye about drones. About like drone warfare. Is that true?

Look it up. Oh, God. So you, you're a transplant here. No, Eagle Eye was a different movie. starring Shia Leboeuf and Michelle Monaghan. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Now I got a fine. Helen Mirren drone movie. Yeah. Drone movie pirate. Oh, yeah. Somali pirate. Eye in the sky, not eagle eye. Eye in the sky.

Oh, yeah, there she is. There's Alan Rickman, Aaron Paul, Helen Mirren. And maybe that guy? Yep. Oh. What's his name? Barkhad Abdi. Barkhad Abdi.

Oh, maybe he was also in. in not uncut gems, but the other one, fun? Was he even fun? Guys, what are my internet savvy? What are my bark hat up-dabby database? B-A-D-B? So you're new to hear to Vancouver. You've been here for one whole year.

Yeah. What are your takeaways? I love it. Yeah. I think it's a perfect size city. I don't want any bigger. or smaller. Okay.

Yeah. It took me a little while to get to know, and then once I got to know it, I was like, yeah. Good. And in Vancouver, what's the last concert you saw? The one and only concert of stars.

I haven't seen any other ones here. That's not true. I did go, is that not true? Oh, no. You didn't see my... Oh, here. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. No, I've only been to Starz concert. I've never been. She's going to leave and be like They were so weird Talking about this Talking about this Talking about the same question

The whole time Yeah I have a really Like great group of friends here They're all your height Yeah And yeah Just a beautiful part of the world

I feel lucky to have been able to move out of Ontario, to be honest. And it's really nice to have you here because it's nice to see a new comedian that's like that you've never seen before but have a fully formed act. Yeah. So it's like, you know what I mean, that feeling where you see like somebody brand new. Yeah. And sort of the sweetie pie of the comedy scene.

And kind of someone you would call the sweetie of the scene. The sweetie of the scene. Yeah, no, it was refreshing to come here because I feel like there's like some hierarchy in Toronto that I couldn't ever like really get like I'm not headlining that show or I'm not doing that and then I came here and everybody's like could you be headlining my phone yeah it just yeah like a full I have I have it figured out yeah yeah took me so long to figure that out in Toronto and yeah um how many years in Toronto were you we're slugging it out um almost 10 10 years yeah and uh yeah I feel like Toronto is very competitive comedy wise yeah yeah in a way that Vancouver is

not yeah yeah because they think we know there's no industry here so it's like what are we fighting about right boys let's just put our differences well i came here it's funny and then i was like who are you all managed by who are like the managers here and then i'm like wait what are the managers really doing in Toronto I think it's yeah yeah like I'm like I had a manager and I just went on 600 commercial auditions like that you land any of these like one yeah it's like it's just like ruined my life for a bit oh god yeah like to have to be like hmm um uh McRib, or, you know, ooh, Nescafay. Like, use my kitchen and, like, ooh, I just burnt it.

If only, like, hell. Pure hell. What commercial did you land? A crispy minis commercial. Okay. What are crispy minis? They're like the little rice cake. A little rice cake.

Yeah. I was in a cheese mascot. Nice. Yeah, and it was just like my face. And I was running around an office. It was a cute commercial. It's like, That's the perfect, because in movies when they show like an actor doing commercials, it's something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They were like, we might actually do Krispini's on ice, so keep the costume. Didn't we know somebody who was like toilet paper or something like that? Yeah. I can't remember who it was, but there was some of who we know. You know who was? You know Garrett Jameson? Yes.

Yeah, he was on hold for the same commercial. They were between me and him. and maybe someone else. For the cheese. For the cheese. Yeah. Yeah. Looking at two really different looks for that.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't add many years ago where I played a talking vagina. And it was reviled by the client. The client hated it so much.

Why did it get that far? I don't know. And what was the client again? It was a Krispy Minis. I think I saw your mascot in the It was for a waxing A bikini waxing Oh right

Yeah yeah yeah Company or chain or something like that Oh I hated it Yeah But they got to know That's what it's all about Yeah You guys have to have a sense of humor

Look at what you're looking at over Yeah come on Right I guess they could just go the opposite way And just be like Elegance Yeah that's Never mentioned it at all.

But yeah, that was a direct casting. There was no audition process for that. Oh. It was just brought in. And I've laid like a tough guy, a tough guy vagina. They grabbed you by the ear and brought you in. Here, talking to the client. Did you do any other, like, re-eat?

Like, or you just, they were like, we want tough guy vagina? Yeah. Or they weren't. They wanted a gravely voice, tough guy vagina. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess that. A TGV. Yeah. And there was.

Of course. On set, I think there was the woman who played the bottom half that she, like. Oh, that rings a bell. Yeah. Was she pantsless? She was pantsless. She played, she played the human variant of the character. And you were.

I'm trying to picture this and I really care not. Like, we didn't work together. She was getting shot in a different set. Did she get to cover up or was she? I don't remember. Maybe. You never snuck on to her set? Hey guys

My set was the only one that was a closed set Tough guy Vagina, take one Wait, so it never aired Like you got paid for it? Yes Yeah, okay Never aired, never

I think it wasn't going to be like a TV commercial That was like an internet thing Probably a porn hub or something like that Yeah That's the only time I got into a commercial I auditioned for some But, yeah, it's so fun. It's like such a great experience showing up to these commercials, finding that they haven't even really been written yet.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good. Yeah. And like, what's the one that you're, thank God you didn't get cast in for, like, commercial? I feel like I dodged some bullets. Probably my bottom half being in that vagina commercial. I would say no to ones that I didn't like. yeah yeah good for you yeah because i feel like that's not a thing a lot of yeah i know i

yeah i would say yeah uh-uh not for me not gonna do it yeah um good i feel like the ones i normally like did audition for were at least like a little bit funny or so you know yeah but but like did you um uh like do you know everybody in the the commercial auditioning circuit a lot or like you'd see the same person who like i did get callback for something and I'm like, oh, they're going with that person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I kill her.

Well, we were going to cast someone else, but she got killed. Yeah, so you slashed her throat. That would be a great, like, if you were a serial killer, or if they caught you. It was like, oh, wow, he was. It turns out, they went for the same. Yeah.

The person who got cast always died. It took years before. There was a weird... They put it together. Have you ever seen the... What was it called? Was it called the Grizzly? The one, um, Werner Herzog.

Grizzly man, yeah. Grizzly man. The documentary... That was the first time I smoked weed, I watched that movie. Really? Yes. That would be such a so weird. And it was so crazy.

First time I smoked weed with grade three on 9-11. We're wheeling in a couple things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the... I've never seen it. I know about it. It's really awesome. He was the second choice for Woody Harrelson's character on Cheers.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. And he went off and got eaten by a bear. So let that be a warning, everybody. I kind of want to watch that again. It's good. Yeah. I've watched...

It's scary. Yeah, I know. It's very scary. What happened when you smoked pot and saw that? Do you lose your mind? I was terrified. Yeah. I had a bad, bad, bad time.

Yeah. Did you then smoke weed after that? Or would be like... Yeah, I'll probably change my experience with it forever. I'm going to do more of the bear drug. Yeah, right. Gonna do a drug. What other Werner Herzog?

Cave of Dreams. Cave of forgotten dreams. I saw that in 3D in the theater. It ruled. Yeah? The only 3D movie? Well, Avatar. Avatar.

But like, it was... Werner Herzog made this documentary about... this cave in France with all these old cave paintings. But he made it in 3D. It's the only like 3D documentary I know of. And he, there was a French guy who could smell, he could smell caves or something. Like they had him out in the woods and he was like smelling cracks in the ground and seeing if there were other caves.

What are that guy's up to now? The one I, I never saw a grizzly man, but I saw, I think it was called Project Grizzly, which was about a Canadian guy who was trying to make a grizzly proof suit. Yeah. No, I haven't, yeah. It's good. Yeah, amazing. Yeah, like, they show him during testing.

They hit him with a car. Yeah, they don't. I don't know if they ever get the grizzly involved. I don't think he ever gets, yeah. But he does get. Oh, I can't stop thinking about the scene where the last scene of the grizzly man. It comes off thinking about it. Yeah, I haven't seen it, but it's the, they like play a recording, and he's like, don't listen to it.

Yeah, but we don't get to hear the recording. Oh, we just get to see him listening to it. Yeah. And so it's even worse. It's love to your crazy imagination. Yeah. He's just listening to it. Oh, God.

Yeah, I know, right? Yeah. What do you think it sounds like? Uh-e-oh-oh-oh-oh-huh. Yeah, now I'm trying to think, what was the first thing I watch when I smoke pot? Jeez, I don't know if I can remember. Maybe a Guns and Roses video, something like that. Nice.

Maybe they saw the title track from, not the title track, from Terminator 2, what was that one? You should be mine? Yeah. That doesn't work out math-wise. No,

that was used to smoke pot when I was 12. I mean, the videos didn't go away. That's true. That's true. Videos were around forever. Yeah, and then I smoked a lot in high school

and then ever since. Really? Yeah. You're just a schroomer now? Just a schroomer. I do shrooms. I do ketamine. I go in a K-hole every once in a while.

Good. Good. I'm the only one in the town that's got ludes. I do poppers whenever I get at them. Oh, sure, yeah. Amel, I like Amel. Is Amel, are Amel not poppers? I think that's probably, yeah, I think they're in the same family of like.

Right. Like Whippets, you know, I like doing a whip it. Have you ever done a whip it? I've never done a whip it. People in my dorm used to do them. Wow. And they would, you could get the little whatever, whatever. The gas from the school store.

Oh, really? The University of Victoria. Get him ready to go. Yeah. And then they would fill a balloon, lie upside down, inhale the balloon. And they look brain dead for a minute. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because that's what it does. It just, like, eats away a part of your brain. I've been at a party before where people were doing it. Yeah? You all look like you're not having fun at all. When they come out and they laugh. Yeah, and they laugh because we were playing a game. And it was just, it was hard to, it was one of those things where I was like, yeah, I need to be on this drug.

Yeah. But I really, yeah. I don't need to. You didn't do you. No, it was like, I was like, I was like, I don't need to try a new drug at 32. I need to ruin my. I mean, Huey Lewis tried a new drug. And what happened I am?

Look at what happened I am. There you lots of hearing? Yeah, it's hearing. The past guess, I won't say who, got his hand on a laughing gas tank and had a laughing gas party, like where everybody's doing it. that was kind of fun Can I write down the name of Who I think it is? I think you're going to know who it is I don't know if I will

No, oh okay But picture a guy who would throw a party And would be like, hey guys, I got my hand on You got this. You can do this. I don't know He's a Oh, you tell me off air. I will tell you off air But Boy, yeah, now I just can't picture someone who would throw up

Well, okay. You got it. Yeah, okay. Fun. It only took a second. You got there. You got there. Sure.

What a great reputation to have. Yeah. Someone who would throw a party. Yeah. I have a friend when I first... Someone threw a hell of a party. Have you ever thrown a party? Would you?

What the fuck? I've thrown a party or two. Yeah. And any theme? Just straight up party. Yeah, no, just straight up party. House party? Yes.

Parents got a cottage when I was in grade 12 and would leave every single weekend. My twin sister, I have a twin. Oh, really? Yeah. My twin sister and I. Identical? No, fraternal. Okay.

He's, we're pretty much the same. Okay. Identical height. Identical height. And yeah, so we had like the house free, we had a pool. Oh, shit. So you were the place to be, the prison with a pool and also. No parents around?

Woo! Yeah. And the big thing of laughing gas? Yeah. Next part of you have you. You gotta get some laughing gas. Yeah. Well, my dad was a dentist.

Yeah. Steal it from a dentist office. They've got no security there. Well, I couldn't get any laughing gas, but I got a big needle full of Novocaine if you want. Ha! I don't party. Yeah. Do a Nopcane.

I put it into my leg. Just put it in my gums. It's a great theme. Oh, God, I hate Novocaine. I hate the needle in the mouth. I hate the needle in the mouth. Oftentimes that's the worst part. And then, you know, once you're out, it's fine.

But then when it comes back, yow- Oh, boy, no, for me, the worst part is, have you ever had a tooth drilled? No. Oh, okay. Well, you know, good teeth? I don't, no. I've never been to the dentist.

I had, no, I had recently a stretch of not going to the dentist for a really long time. But I, before I moved here, I went. And I think they're doing fine. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Yeah, for me, the worse than the, um, the needle is the smell of your tooth being drilled.

Oh, yeah. The burnt, burnt tooth smell. Oh, that gave me full body chills. I don't like that. Yeah. It's, um, yeah. If you don't like the sound of that, you do not listen to the recording of that guy getting grizzlified. Dave, what's going on with you?

Well, we haven't recorded for many weeks. You were away. I was away. So a bunch of things happened to me. I'll talk about one of them. Sure. You've got to save some. So this past summer.

Woo! All right. Summer's ending, guys. Can you feel it? Yeah, it's done. Yeah. I mean, we're about to have a little heat wave, but. I'm going to go back to school.

Oh, will I make any friends in school this year? Oh, no. Get a new outfit, though. Yeah, it might be nice to do some back-to-school shopping. Yeah. Did you guys get that every school year? Get some new shoes. Get a nice pair of jeans, maybe.

And the worst part is, I'm sure I've talked about this, is like, you get all your fall, like, outfits and you show up to the first day of school. It's still scalding hot outside. Right. Look at my little flannel outfit. But so a few weeks ago, I was very. excited about this. The movie Naked Gun came out. Yeah.

Are you familiar with the old ones? No. Okay. Yeah. You see the new one? I have not yet, but I've heard it's awesome. Yeah. They are just joke, like, joke on joke on joke.

Yeah. Nothing but jokes. And it's like, they're not long movies. Yeah, this was 86 minutes of all. And you just, you just laugh and laugh and laugh. and you can't believe there's another joke. Yeah. And so, like, I grew up loving these movies.

And my kids are 8 and 10. And I was like, you're going to love the. I hear this new movie is like carrying the torch for the old one. Yeah. And my 8 year old was like, I'm not going to this. Oh, okay. But my 10 year old was like, yeah, well, okay. She was kind of humoring me, but I could tell she was into it.

She was into it, yeah. And so we had a, uh, also. So I go to, I take my kids to tons of movies, but I only take them to matinees usually. Yeah. And I was like, I want to go where, when the theater's full. And it's like, everyone laughing. Yeah. So let's go to a seven o'clock movie.

Nice. And. You could still be in bed by 10. 8.30. Yeah. And it was. And so, but beforehand we went to, I was like, well, we can even go to dinner first. Wow.

Date night. Daddy daughter date night. Well, let's not say that. Dinner and a show. Dinner and a show. When we went to Earls. Yep. Okay.

A lot of Earls talk on the last few episodes. Yeah. It's hard to avoid here. Yeah. Did you, were you surprised by how many Earls we have? Yeah, it's nuts. I feel like that's such an easy, like, punchline to a joke, too, when I, like, don't know what to talk about. I'm like, we're going to Earls later or something.

That's a good bailout life. I got him. again. Yeah, because Toronto, did Toronto they do? They have one

at least in the like business. Financial distance. Yeah. Okay. Do they have Moxies out there? Is it Moxies

a national chain? Moxies. What about Joey's? Joey's for sure. What is the like, what would you do in Toronto to get the

same effect? Like, what is the reference? Jack Aster's. Jack Aster's. That's right. Jack Aster's. I worked at a Jack Aster's for

four years. Jack it up. If they couldn't hit the floor, yeah. What does that mean? They show you your jackup numbers. What does that mean? So. What is Jack up is like, do you want to jack up your beer?

And it's like a dollar 50 to get like the jackup pint, which is like, it's tracked up. I don't know what else. I don't know what you got into. Is it bigger? It's bigger, yeah. Okay. And Jack Astros is like just a bar. Does it have games or something?

Their thing is that they've got music videos playing on TV screens. Okay. Like a bunch. Is it, was it still silly? Sports bar. Silly. Yeah.

Cheeky. Like, all the servers have fun sayings on the back of their, uh, shirts. Like, what did you say? Uh, fuck. Was that it? Oh, fuck. Like, um, like, no, I can't even make one up right now. That's fine.

That's fine. And it's a play on jackass. Yeah. Yeah. And the work. Because when I went, they had one in Calgary when I was a kid. And I went and the. the table is covered in like

brown construction paper. And in your training you have to learn how to write your name upside down because you put like your name Steph so that they can see it on the on that and then you could color all you wanted

like the old spaghetti factor what else does the chalet they'll give you some crayons yeah some other spot there's another spot that does that What, Tony Romas? Was it? Or the, what's the...

Great place for ribs? It was a rib place on Davy Street that used to do it. Anyway. But was it still, did it have silly things on the wall and stuff like that? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. And so what were your jack-up numbers?

My jack-up numbers, I remember were not good when I started. And they said, if you want to get the good shifts, like, come back here and they had it all out, like, all the service names. So these are how often you... How often you would jack up, a drink or, yeah, putting another, like, an extra shot in a... That would jack up a cocktail? Did you just jack up drinks, or were you jacking up fries? Did you jack up a burger? I don't think you could jack up food.

But there was a more... I think if anyone from Jack Astors is listening, I just gave them a brilliant idea. Oh, you could jack up fries. Yeah, right. And did you get those jack up numbers higher? I think, yeah, I think by the end. Yeah. You never, but they never showed you the chart again.

Yeah. What was it like working there? I have the chart. Framed on the wall It was really good money It was kind of shitty Like it was You got like young kids and stuff

Sometimes like Right It was busy And like young kids like Underage Yeah like like it was it a bar Or it was a family place? It was like Dundas Square

Yeah Yeah Yeah so tourists and like Oh okay Yeah And busy like turn around like crazy You want jack up your apple juice Yeah.

One jack-up of those crayons? So, anyway, we went to Earls. Yeah. The Jackasters of Vancouver. Yeah, exactly. And my, I take a lot of pride in being able to eat really fast. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Dave is...

You don't chew your food. Sort of. He's kind of like a pelican. It just goes to it. Amazing. But I, yeah, so, like, we got a 6 o'clock reservation at Earls for his 7 o'clock. movie, or no, like, maybe a 7.15 movie.

Right. So, cut in it close. Yeah, I thought we were cutting it close. Man, we ordered eight, drank, jacked up our drinks. So fast. Like, we were done at 6.30. The waitress came by with a free, a complimentary dessert.

I don't know why. Really? Oh. Because you're, we checked in the back. You're the fastest eaters ever. Here's your complimentary dessert. I do feel like, I've said this before. I do need a.

like a license from this city to say, hey, by the way, I'm one of the fastest cedars in the city. So just sit me like, I know you have, this table's reserved in half an hour. I can be in it out in half an hour. Here, let me show you my credentials. Yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah. And what do you guys order? What do you have?

I had, uh, she had the fed of Cheney Alfred. Okay. I had the steak freight. Oh, classic. Oh, classic eats. Yep. And how fast do you burn through this whole thing? like half an hour

Half an hour We were done And I was like Well Want to take a walk Sure You eat it all You ate it all

Yeah man She didn't finish I had heard Amazing And then went for a walk Around the block And I was like You know in Europe

People sometimes You know Like go for a walk Between courses I'm trying to teach her bullshit I don't know anything Yeah And then we went to the movie, and it ruled.

It ruled. It was so great. I've heard nothing but. I mean, seeing it in a full theater is magical. Yeah, but like for people who don't know. There was a guy behind me who was like two jokes and was like, oh, I'm going to like this. Oh, they're really continuing the tradition. Cute.

Yeah, well worth seeing. No other 10-year-olds there. I can see that. And we did. She had to go pee in the middle, and apparently we missed the horniest scene. So that was good. Great. Although, you know what?

When I was a kid, I saw. Horny movies? Well, I definitely remember being sat next to my parents. Basic Instinct. During Basic Instinct during the Madonna Willem Defoe Candle Sex movie. But, like, during nude scenes, I'd be like, oh. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you, can you remember a movie that you watched with your parents that you're like, oh, no. Um, I, I watch a lot of days of our lives with my mom. Oh, nice. And I remember this, like, not understanding the, like, sex scenes and then, like, kind of under, and being like, oh. What were the sex scenes and days of our lives? It would just be Bow and Hope afterwards. Yeah, not, like, proper sex scenes, I guess, like the in you, yeah. But they eluded?

Yeah. Yeah. They eluded or they would be like rolling around like it went. Oh, really? Yeah. But then they cut away. Yeah. And then you're back with that evil Stefano.

But I have the memory of it being, yeah. Of that being the first time that I would like sit next to my mom. Be like, oh, they're having sex. Who's your favorite character? Sammy. Sammy. Yeah, I was going to say Sammy. Sammy.

Sammy, you did it. Didn't she play her own evil or she turned evil. She became a witch. Something like that. Yeah. What did? Yeah, she was good And then she did a heel turn

And it was like, oh no, Sammy We trusted you all these years Yeah, she had a real Like every man Everyone could kind of see themselves as Sammy Yeah She looked like she could have been a country singer She could have been a country singer

She had that vibe Yeah I could see it I could see it Where did days of our lives take place Like general hospital Yeah Yeah, it was like...

Oh, it was a fake. It was a fake. Yeah, it was like St. Something. Something. Something. What is it? What is it? It was.

Something not. Here we go. We're going to the computer. Yes. That's really nice. You watch out with your mom. That's so sweet. Yeah.

But isn't that during the school day? Oh, we'll be on a four. Oh, really? It came on at like 10. It was Salem. It was Salem. Oh, my God. Yeah.

I feel like it was... I went to see weapons. Oh, nice. Yeah. I saw that too. Did you see it? Yeah, it was funny. It was funnier than I thought it would be, right?

Yeah. I haven't seen it, so I only know the name of the movie. I don't know anything. Don't tell me any. Sorry, I kind of said that it was funny. Yeah, well, that's fine. That's good. It's good to know that it's funny.

You'll laugh. You'll cry. Well, no, it's not said. I mean, I might be said. Oh, crap. Yeah. It's, it's, uh, you'll have you'll scream. Yeah.

Is it, is it, uh, is it good? It's so good. Yeah. Did you think it was good? I loved it. Yeah. Was it like scary movies usually? Yes.

What's your favorite? What's your favorite movie? What's your favorite movie? My favorite, my, one of my top favorite movies ever is hereditary. Ah, yes. I love scary. I love, yeah. Yeah.

That type of being, like a good story line, you know, it's not just scaring you for the sake of, yeah. I don't know why. I don't know why. I don't really. I don't really like scary movies. Oh, okay. But I was so excited about weapons. Did you see Barbarian?

Yes. Yes. So. Yes. I loved Barbarian. Yeah. And so I went to a weapon. Is it the same guy?

Yeah. And you can tell. There's definitely, yeah. He's got it like a style. Yeah. He's a barbarian. That's a really funny scenes in it. Yeah.

What's his face? Justin Long is. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's in the, he's in weapons. He has kind of a cameo. Yes. And then.

That doesn't spoil anything. No. Not at all. And, yeah, it was, I, I just sat there when it was, like, I enjoyed it. And then when it was over, I was like, oh, I'm like, I was, I sat there watching the credits and, like, with my mouth open, like, I need to digest what I just thought. Totally. Yeah. There was a moment where I would, like, yes, yes.

Like, I was clap. Yes. I love horror movies. Yeah. Yeah, and I, the only genre that I haven't, like, dipped a big toe into is, like, films, horror films from, like, the 80s. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't mean either. Kind of, like, so bad they're good.

Right. Although I have watched that, but, like, I don't know any of the old slasher movies, you know? No, yeah, me neither. Are you? I grew up watching, like, show, like, the real, like, like, ghost shows, like. Oh, yeah. You know, those ones, like, parent, yeah, that kind of thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Is that your favorite genre of... Like, I liked ghost movies growing up, yeah. Did you see the one, it's, uh, never mind, I can't remember his name, but it was, it was called, like, presents or... Yeah, I just saw that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think? It was okay. Yeah, it was okay.

Never mind. I can't remember names, but it was present. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, the actual title of the film, Presence, yeah. I thought it was okay. Yeah, I thought it was okay. Yeah, it was a different... Yeah, I like the answer. ending, I thought that was, yeah.

The ending was good. And the whole setup is... You're spoiling it. The ending was good now? The premise, if you want to know the premise, I don't know if you want to see it. Oh, I don't. I only wanted to see weapons. The whole movie is taken from the ghost's perspective.

And it shot, who's the guy that made it? He also made, like... Yeah. Um, was it? Damn it. He also did Magic Mike. He's a director that does a bunch of crazy different projects. Was it Barcad Obdi?

No, it wasn't Barkhad Abdi. You're on his website. You're on his website. It was the Steven Soderberg. Soderberg, yeah. Oh, yeah. Magic Mike is big thing? Hmm, he's made so many movies.

And Magic Mike XXL. And I think. Imagine, like, fucking rules. Did you see the third one? Was there a third one? Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, it came on, like, it was up, my parents and it came on, just on cable, and so I watched it. And, uh, it's definitely, he's definitely going bald in it, which is, uh, strange.

Yeah. He may have transplants now or something. Right. But, uh, yeah, that was the takeaway that he was, like, kind of bald. Okay. We're running out of ideas. Well, what if Magic Mike's kind of balls? A little bit, a little bit balls.

That's it. I love movies. Oh, yeah, one thing when I was seeing weapons, I went to the bathroom, and I, do you know that song that's like, but I'm too messy? Yes. And I'm too fucking clean. Do you know that song? Yeah.

Okay. I will go into the bathroom, and I immediately hear someone in the stall. all starting. Classic bathroom. And then I'm like, but a couple of seconds ago by and I'm like, oh, that's not a fart. That's the snare drum from that messy song. Oh, my God.

And so if you hear that in a bathroom, it might sound like the snare drum is just a fart over and over. Yeah. If you're embarrassed, then it might be you. Maybe not. Yeah. If you, by the way, if you're farting in a bathroom, just play messy by Lola Young.

Yeah. I mean, I would appreciate it if some people crank some tunes when they were, so I don't have to hear it, you know? Now, Graham? Yes, sir. What's going on with you? Well, I was... And we, it's far too late in this episode to be finding this out, so... I could do it tomorrow's our next episode, and I can just tell you...

No, no. No, no. Let's do it next episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's too long. This episode's too long. No, people want it.

You have nowhere to be. No. Do you have somewhere to be? No, I don't. Oh, good. No, I don't. Okay, good. I just have to finish my coffee because you'll be mad to me if I don't.

So I'm just going to sit here until I finish it. Dave will be mad at you. You need a coffee and I, uh. Oh, I don't. What? What's going on? Have I got that reputation? Yep.

Finish all this or you can't have dessert. That's you. Um, I, uh, because I was talking to Alicia a couple days ago. And I was saying, oh, yeah, I'm just working on the Graham's away all month. And she's like, yeah, he's doing blank. And I was like, what? Yeah, I did a two-week intensive workshop about puppetry. Oh, my God.

That's so cool. It was so cool. Ah, I love that. It was 12 days, 12 hours a day, like, whole day through. Okay, so you did this in Calgary. Yeah. Is that why you went to Calgary? Yes.

I went, after Alicia told me this, I googled Calgary Puppet School and three came up. Calgary's like a hub for puppetry, didn't know that. Yeah. And it was happening, it usually happens in Massachusetts, this workshop. And just because. It's usually goodwill hunting, putting it on. Yeah, sorry, it took me exactly right, Boston. But yeah, it was just the first time they ever did it in Calgary.

And so my parents live in Calgary. Oh, nice. Like this is a must-do, and I didn't have, you know, a ton of stuff going on. It's August, the dog days. Yeah. So what have you ever, what's your previous experience with puppets? Now the listeners are going to be like, Dave, you know he loves puppets. I had no idea.

I had no idea. I love the Muppets. I love Pee Wee's Playhouse. There's a great contemporary puppeteer named Ronnie Burkett. I've seen a bunch of his shows. He's kind of a legend. It's sort of like the weekend of puppets. Yeah.

What is, and so this puppet school, it's, it's not marionettes. It was. And not marionettes are called, the ones we did were called Rose puppets where you control the back of the head as opposed to the, you have to have a partner to move on the limits. So wait, it is marionettes? Well, Marionettes is a string. So is it that? No.

Okay. So when I said it's not marionettes and you said it is. Well, it is. They could be strung, but it was, it's too much to teach that in two weeks. It takes like a year to learn. It's too much to teach this in one day. Yeah. Forget everything you know what Mary is.

You're not understanding. Do you understand? But yeah. It was fun. Okay. So what was the, you go in and with like, it's two weeks. Yeah. By the end of this two weeks, you will make your own puppet.

You will make two puppets and practiced like all the different ways that a puppet can, uh, public can move. And you did say Puffet for a second Yeah, I did say Puppet But all the different ways it can move And yeah, man It was fun as hell That's great

I really didn't want to talk about this on the podcast And I was not super stoked That Alicia told you about it Really? Yeah Oh Do you want to go back and not talk about it? No, no, no, it's already

Puppets out of the bag So Alicia was like You guys are so weird That you didn't know Yeah. Yeah, yeah. For sure.

Nobody do, except Alicia. She was the one of the first of it. Well, apparently now I wouldn't, now I wasn't supposed to just break it up. So now we're in puppet fight? Yeah. We're not, I would never make a puppet fight. Is that what? Do you have to do like an oath at the beginning?

You have to do a reverse fight club. Today's your first day. Not to fight. Well, can I, if you didn't want to talk about it, I can't ask any questions? No, you can. Absolutely. We're talking about it now. We're here.

We landed here. We're here. What were the names of the two puppets here? one was called Sugar Ray and the other one's Bruno St. Martino. Thank you. And are they,

so they teach you how to make them and operate them? Do they teach you how to do voices? No, you get to pick your own voice, but you have to name the character and it has to be a character. It can't just be a puppet. It has something that it does.

And you can't make a puppet with like straight hand and everything has to be loose so that its head doesn't look like it's like a stuffed animal kind of thing like you have to give it everything's got to be loose you gotta kind of give it

like momentum you have to pick where it's gonna go it's I've never done anything like it I've done any like movement class or any any such how many people were in your class there was eight of us all women except for me

so in the first day I was like oh maybe I maybe this is a not a place a guy should be but they were great oh they were great and did you You and your classmates, do you bond?

Yeah, I think so. To go for lunch, yeah. We went, we did go for lunch. We also went, one of the gals in the group had a fringe play that she directed. So we all went and watched her fringe play. And we were together 12 hours a day. So we had to. 12 hours.

Every day. Wow. Yeah. It was intense. It was in intensive. How for two weeks? For two weeks. For two weeks.

Yeah. 12 hours for two weeks and you I still feel so bad I brought it up But did I even bring it up? I just made you talk about it. Yeah, yeah, it's fine. It's fine. We're here now.

Yeah, but now I'm the victim. What? Do you have any plans? I don't. I just, this is the thing. I knew nothing. A lot of the people in the class, they knew how to stitch.

They knew how to carve. So they were. head of the I didn't know how to never carved in my life So you never stitched in my life And you were given So you made two One of fabric one of wood

Yeah one of wood one of fabric The fabric one was like This is like the old rhyme One of fabric one of wood The rest Hey remember Matthew good Yeah Yes

Yeah we had to make one of each And like I say I didn't know how to carve Never carved in my life Not even a single Not even for you know, marshmallow at camp.

I've never even done that. So starting at absolute zero. And what did you do better with? Neither. I did poorly above. At one point during the hand puppet, the print

has two kind of divots in it. One's supposed to be the mouth and the other one is like where the stitching of the head is supposed to happen. I stitch up the mouth and left the head thing happened. And so it was backward looking puppet. His face was always sacking. I think that's kind of fun. It was fun, but at that one point it was.

And they were like, no, you can't. The mouth needs to be. Yeah. But the guy said it's too late. So we're just going to put the mouth in. Okay. And making a marionette easier than you think, except for the carving part. The body part, super simple.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's just like kind of torso, strings down to hips, strings from shoulders through elbow and forearm, and then just a couple chunks of wood for the legs, and you've got yourself a marionette. Cool. Yeah. Mine ended up, I couldn't carve, so I ended up taking people's scraps. Scraps. Yeah. I would do them together.

You couldn't carve. I would do the same. No. It's so hard. Is it? Yeah, yeah. But like, What, what? I'm picturing like with a knife. Is it? Okay. Yeah. Like carving like a piece of wood. Mm-hmm. The first, day they had us like everybody carved

a mushroom. My thing just looked like a dog could chewed on my block of wood. And at the end, I was able to carve a thing that was basically a penis. But very close, close to mushroom. Yeah, in the same shape world. Yeah. In the same shape world. By the end, everyone else had finished their marionettes. And I'm like, I'm still working on my day one mushroom.

But yeah, so I made, I have now a marionette in my position. Are you mad at me? No. Mad at Alicia. She felt like such a bozo. She was like, oh, maybe I wasn't supposed to tell you that. And I was like, of course you're supposed to tell me that.

I just figured that doing a pupsry camp is everybody's going to make fun of me. Well, yeah. No. I love that. I love that, too. I think that's so cool. Thanks, you guys. Yeah.

I think it's cool. But I also think I'm not going to make fun of you. But. I don't think everyone's going to. No, okay, but you can do it. I open the doors to. No, I don't want to. I think it's cool when people do, like, do classes.

Like, do a weird thing? Yeah. Do you, like, I, you know, you've seen my pottery I did upstairs. But pottery seems like I think, but somebody would take a class in puppetry. Well, pottery, they have a million classes for it. That's true. Puppetry is not so money. There's not just two people coming from Massachusetts.

Yeah. And the guy that ran it, he was like, Vancouver doesn't have much of a puppet scene. And I was like, well, you tell me. You're telling it, yeah. But, yeah, apparently we don't have much of a puppet scene. Huge in Calgary. What are the other, had you?

Yes, you there. Yeah. Well, I feel like, was there ever, like, a debaters with a puppet expert in it? Or am I thinking of someone whose parents were clowns? You were thinking of that, but also Ed the sock has been on the debaters. Probably Canada's most famous Muppet or puppet Yeah

What are the other great Canadian puppets Casey and Finnegan Of course The giraffe A giraffe From the friendly giant Mamayama from CBC's Oh yeah

War in the Grog Your favorite Canadian puppet Soundin Yeah Basil from Canadian Sesame Street Or Basil I'm learning so much

Yeah But yeah I learned all about puppets And there are so many Canadian puppets Now that I think about it Yeah we're puppet friendly as a society But Vancouver just doesn't No we're not really Canada

No that's true We're more Seattle And Seattle's got a great puppet It's one of the hotbeds But yeah Have you guys ever tried carving It's very hard No

I don't even know what that word means Fair enough Yeah, I can think of like Wiggling You said it a bunch and I don't know What it means Yeah

I, you know I'm thinking of those like old like When you make an old man Someone made You like folk art Oh like what yeah isn't that Like an apple Well an apple

Sure That you carve a face Into an apple And then it goes bad And scrunches up Yeah But then also like an old man Or an old lady

made out of or an old non-binary person. What I'm thinking of is cisgender, though, I'm sorry. Of just a carving of like, I guess an old ass on that. But yeah, the people just knew how to, like, they just knew how to carve these people. But they weren't, some of them were like,

I've never carved before. And then they just like amazing. I remember. What? definitely have if they no they were like designer people and they knew they could picture things in 3D that way are you normally good at that kind of thing no no yeah

I'm not craftier I'm not like good like I think I nearly ruined the bandsaw at one point you guys like just let the band saw do the cutting and I was like I'll tell you bansaw and it's like did you ever use the bansaw did you have done wood shop ever I did wood shop once the teacher

had to do which one's a bandsaw It's the one, it's like kind of eye level, and it's got, it's got, it's not a drill. It's, it's like, kind of like a black, like this amount, I'm going to say it, but about a foot of saw and then the platform, and it's like one that you're supposed to just, well, you're supposed to let this bounce out to the work, but. I can't picture it, but it's, yeah, I'm having a hard time myself. And now I don't feel so stupid for not being able to describe my old man. So what's the one where you bring down the circular saw that you bring down? A bansaw. No, not a bansaw.

That's the one we're talking about. What's the one that's used in my jigsaw puzzles? A bansaw. Yeah, for sure, a bansaw. I unfortunately have to Google bansaw. Can't even Give me some Google images And let's

There you go Oh sure Big old thing Yeah I guess Scary makes scary scary Noises Does it Can it

Does it go straight Or do you make shapes You can make shape You can make shapes I could not make a shape I don't know where Do you go shop class Do you know

Do you think she was doing Dance drama And And shop Yeah They were in a lot They wouldn't allow that. But yeah, it's these dudes, this is the policy of this place.

It's called Old Trout. And they will not make puppets for other people. And if they do, they decide to. They will make the puppet, let you use it for the run of your show, and then they take the puppet back. And you can rent it from them if you like. So they have every puppet they ever made. All over the walls. It's, uh, it's, uh, it's, it'll be some people's absolute nightmare to be in this, uh, this type of situation.

Yeah, it's, I would love to do something like that. Yeah? Yeah. What would you do? If you could take a class in anything, what would be your? Oh. Um, I want to learn, I want to learn on a garden. Okay.

I have a really bad, like, I'm really bad with, with plants and gardening, like, any time I've try to fail, so I'm looking into that. Into like maybe getting a plot? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty basic, though.

That was pretty basic answer. How was it? How hard was it not to, every time you hear the word puppetry, not to think of the penis? And I submitted, well, we don't have to make it out of wood, guys. We can make it out of a thing that anything could be a puppet. You think about it. Yeah. Yeah, and like I say, everybody knew how to do it better.

Every day, I felt like I was a million miles behind. Sure. And, yeah, I also just felt like I was like, am I intruding on a female safe place? The imposter syndrome? Yeah. The opposite. It is cool, though, as an adult. You get to take classes without, like, you know, it doesn't go on your permanent record.

There's no test at the end. I know, and I have to remind myself. Is it like a certificate? No, you just, you did a... Everyone else got one. But like, I'll show you pictures of what the other people did versus mine, and you'll be like, oh, yes, you were bad at this. No, I would never say that, Graham.

Would you like it? Yeah. Well, I don't care. It's not like I have a list of who's good and who's bad at Pump and Trigg. Were there people with different strengths? Like, where were some people like, I didn't do a great job building it, but boy, can I bring this object to life?

Yeah, there were people who were better at acting and had like, did you do a show? We did a, like, a show. Oh, yeah, great question. Like a performance, yeah. So we like, everybody had to. Just for each other? Did you get to invite your parents?

No, people came, all sorts of people. And people from the puppet community were there. Did your parents come? They did? Wow. And they, they cried? Yeah. Why is my son like this? They kept wailing. Did your brothers come? No, but my wife, Sally, did. He was in town. And we had to, you had to do lip sync to the song. And you had to do, you had to present a marionette performance. And then a group puppet that takes three or four people to operate. Did you're on like the one of the last days, did your teacher show up super hungover and like wheel a TV and VCR?

We're going to watch being John Malcolm. I was going to say cranky anchors, but even John Malikovitch is the better. Yeah. And then there, like I say, everybody in the course in every single way was better than me. I didn't, I wasn't leading in any category. of this so He may be small But he's mighty

Nope He's not How'd you get in? I had the amount of money That is needed To do that You didn't have to take

The PSSAT No Yeah No No you had If you had the money You were in Yeah

Early Bird Yeah But like I feel like There was like You don't need this You've got You already rule at this.

Why don't have money to do this? Well, yeah, like... You're done. You're done. You're good. Yeah. Yeah. I do feel like the...

I only took the kids' pottery classes, but I walked by the adult pottery classes. And I feel like there must be people who are just like, I'm just taking this because I don't have a wheel and a kiln at home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And some people are like, I made a dragon. Now, here's the question. Have either you ever used a sewing machine?

Because it is. Impossible. Yeah. Abby uses one. I would describe it as impossible. It's impossible. Yeah. My wife so's and so I have given it a shot, but it is scary.

It's scary because you step down on that pedal and zooms right through. You can't take your foot off and go on the break. You just have to go with it. There's not two pedals. And at one point I sewed a thing together. It wasn't supposed to, not the mouth this time, but another part. So I had to take the stitches out of that. That's satisfying.

It was satisfying, and I had to do it more than once. Wow. Because that was, you're first thing, you're like, it's going, it's going. Were you given a pattern? Did everyone get the same pattern to make? Yeah. And I backwards the design. But there were people that brought in doll clothes designs and made like a full outfit for their poppin.

That's tough to watch. It was safe. Yeah. It was tough to watch. So I. dressed mine, my mom very kindly went to the thrift shop and bought me some pajamas for

pre-me babies. So that's what I used, this is clothes. Oh, that's the saddest thing available. Yeah, you're right. Premiumy pajamas never worn. Well, no, I think they were worn. Oh, okay, good. But yeah, it was

trying to think of what else there was. Like, I never have done anything movement. Like, my body is not flexible. So, like, you know, move this way is very, like, I don't know. Like, I know normal people can do this, but I can't. My hips, they don't lie.

They suck. But do your hips need, do you need your hips for this? Yeah, well, here's the thing you need is to be able to be on the floor for many hours at a time. Oh, yeah. I borrowed a pair of need pads. And, but man, oh, man, a monocle of wind speed. Yeah, you have to be on the floor the whole time. My whole family, nobody can sit cross-legged.

It's not a thing in the Clark family to be able to sit down and do that. Even like my brother's who are in great shape. Give them the chance to sit cross-legged. Not going to happen. Yeah, I'm not great at that either. Yeah. And by the third day, I was like, my back is fucking killing me. So I had to use a stool.

It was the only one that used the stool. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah, you know what? It's great. Listen, I feel so bad that you thought I was going to make fun of you. I love you, my friend.

All the listeners are going to be like, Graham's the coolest. No, they're all going to make fun of me. They're not. Okay. Well, you guys, you really, you disprove. What else would you have talked about? Oh, I. You didn't see weapons.

The drive back from Calgary where we didn't get any peaches or corn. Oh, it sucks. Yeah, we did get corn eventually in Chilweck? No peaches. Did you get, did you ever see the naked gun? Yes. Oh, stick around for the credits. There's some jokes in the car.

There's a good joke. There's a post-credit scene that's really fun, right? I don't know. I think there was. Maybe I'm wrong. Well, the movie was only half an hour, so they had to do some really. There was definitely credit jokes, not as many as I wanted. But did you notice that stunts came up three times?

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't get what the joke is there. Same. It's like some of these names are, again. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Well, in the old naked gun movies,

there would be like, a recipe would become up among the credits. Yeah. And the classic naked gun thing is they freeze on a scene, but it wasn't frozen. All the actors are pretending they're frozen. So you see them, like, uncomfortably have to stand there, like giving a high five or whatever.

But, yeah, I saw it. It's hilarious. That's great. I'd probably go to see it again, to be honest. I enjoyed the jokes the first time. I'll get off air. I want to hear. your favorite parts. I don't want to spoil anything for anybody, but

I'll tell you my favorite parts of weapons, too. Yeah. Okay, good. Good, good. Well, thanks for being cool, you guys. I was afraid doing puppetry. It was a nerdy thing to do. And it is. Yeah, yeah. But Yolo. Yeah, Yolo, that's true. Anybody out there interested in puppets? Send me an email. I know it all now. I've learned it all. Get in contact. Yeah, especially from the Vancouver.

puppet scene. I'm kind of trying to put a vibe out there. Yeah. Will you, is this the end of puppet life? Are you going to... I really want to find out how to use a sewing machine. Okay. I think that's like a cool skill to have. There's like, you have to string all this stuff through a mechanism and you have to pick the right needle, I think, and the right...

What are they called? Probably. Yeah. And they also like, do you have to make certain types of stitches? You know, with stitches, first of all. Sure. But do you remember that store in Canadian mall's stitches? Yes. Was that a sewing store?

No, it was like. It's where the sluts went to shop. Yeah, where the sluts went to shop. And the jingle was, as soon as it's hot, we got stitches. Right. Yeah. I don't think I ever had the pleasure of going to the stitches. But here's the thing that I realized is you do.

you do things inside out and then you put the right side out Yes, with sewing yet But you don't know until that That reveal Whether you did it right And man oh man

Oh yeah So janky It was like You didn't do any part In this right And they're like Make sure to keep some fabric For the arms

Didn't have enough fabric For the arms The arms are a different color Than the puppet Yeah And then the marionette Like all his legs Are just squares

It's all rectangles Sure Yeah, but everybody was very nice They were very nice to me being the worst in class Then somebody's going to be the worst in class Yeah Yeah, why not me You do a thing at the end where you had like a graduation ceremony

Yeah Was someone so good with their puppet That they got their puppet to also operate a sewing machine Almost like There was somebody who was so good at it And they made like Such a like a fantastic spectacle of their

final project it was just like, you guys are too good at this. You're making us all look stupid because they were so good. And they put them up first and I had to follow that. And they did some of the same moves we did.

And I was like, well, I don't remember these moods. You saw my moves. This guy's all my my whole choreo. It was, yeah. Yeah, ours was the worst of the show. But just, like, bring it on where the other cheerleading squad had hired the same choreographer. Oh, yeah. Sparky.

Sparky. Spark. Yeah, I think, like, they, I don't think they poached anything, but when they went first, I was like, oh, fuck, there's two of the things we do. Two of the main things we do, and they just put it in like it was nothing, right? It was about a kid and a glove making friends with each other. That was what yours was? No. I was a guy climbing a mountain and realizing he could fly.

with a coffee filter as a parachute. You can see why I would be scared. The people would make fun of me for this. No, Graham. I mean, yes, I can see why. I'm scared every minute of my days. I was going to make fun of me. Anyways, Alicia, you were really set in it.

No, I didn't tell anybody. I told Alicia and my parents. Well, yeah, because I did your show and everyone said, Graham was on vacation. Yeah, it was my vacation. That's what I did on holiday. And, yeah, I'm going to learn out of fucking sew if it kills me. Also carving, but I feel like carving leaves behind a lot of trash.

Sure. You got this sort of an outdoor. Yeah, if I had a deck, you know, be there whittling all day long. Can you just Google carving? Sure. Vancouver community, carving community. Anyways, yeah. So I'm a master puppet team.

Oh, do you want to move on to some overheard? Yeah. I'm Emily Fleming. I'm Jordan Morris. And I'm Matt Lee. We are real comedy writers. Real friends. And real cheapskates.

On every episode of our podcast free with ads, we ask, why pay for expensive streaming services when you can get free movies from apps with weird names? Each week, we review the freest movies the Internet has to offer. Classics like Pride and Prejudice. Cult classics like Point Brue. And holy shit, what did I just watch classics like Teen Witch? Tune in every week as we take a deep dive into the internet's bargain bin. Every Tuesday on Maximumfund.org or your favorite pod place.

The Flop House is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and then we talk about it. Guys, how does he teep poop? Well, he's not that regular, but as he's gotten older. He has two cloegas, one under each arm. No, I'm just looking forward to you going through the other ways in which Wild Wild West is historically inaccurate. You know how much movies cost nowadays when you add in your popped corn and your bagel bites and your cheese critters? You can't go wrong with a Henry Cattle Mustache. Here at Henry Cattle Mustaches, the only supplier.

The Flop House. New episodes every Saturday. Find it at maximum fun.org. Overheard, it's a segment where you hear things. We talk about them, and then we move on. And we always like to start with the guest. My favorite part is when we move on. That sounds fun. Steph, do you have an overheard?

Yes, I do. Okay. So this was a couple years back in Toronto. I was on the street car. And there was two guys across from me, and they were for sure from, like, England. They had thick accents, but I'm not going to do with their accents. if that's okay. I'll do them for you.

Yeah, you do them for. I think, well, we can, yeah. We can play. Okay, power. Maybe we play after. Okay, yeah, we'll do some play. Yeah. And they were talking about a night out that they just had, and they were like,

oh, yeah, did you have fun last night? Oh, yeah. When did you leave? Oh, I left out one. Oh, well, I saw you were talking to like Ashley. It seemed like you guys were, like, getting on. Oh, well, she wasn't exactly foaming at the gash. Have you ever heard that?

I think it's pretty common in English. Yeah. It's like slang. It's like, yeah, UK slang, but I had never heard it before. And it was awesome. Even as you said it, I was like, it's like you had never heard it before. Yeah, it still has the same power. They do say that kind of, yeah, we're not going to act that up.

But I think I've heard King Charles say it a few times. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. It said it about Diana. He said it about Camilla. And he said it about the queen. And that's why he's the most disgusting king there ever has been.

Oh, yeah. Maybe I've heard him say that. Yeah. She wasn't exactly. She wasn't exactly filming at the ash. It's so grunt. So, girls, it's like so casual. Yeah.

But that one's really stuck with me. Yeah. Think about it all the time. God. I'm going to be just so, you know, I'm going to be so offended if you don't finish your coffee. Oh, yeah. No, I'm almost there. I'm almost there.

Now that I've made it two hours ago, you do not need to take another sip of it. It's so cold. Please don't make me. It's been sitting underneath the air conditioner. Can I get ice? Yeah, you can get some ice. Dave, do you ever heard? Mine's an overseen.

This is an overseen I saw on a parked car, and it was a bumper sticker. And I see a lot of bumper stickers, but rarely do they make me laugh out loud. Oh, nice. This is one that said, only gay cops pull me over. Oh, okay. Because it was like, oh, I imagined the cop having to, like, do the math on that. Oh, my God. He got me.

You're getting away with a warning. Not even a warning because then I'd have to pull them over. I love that. I love that for them. Yeah, because, you know, I don't think a lot of the police community and the gay community, there's a lot of overlap. There's some. Yep, yeah.

But I think there's a lot of cops who probably don't want to be called that. Totally. Yeah. I mean, a cab, you know, that's what they say. And don't pull me over either,

you know, I'm not going to call you gay, but. Yeah, don't pull me over anyway. Yeah, I'm going to be pretty pissed. Do you drive?

Okay. I'm getting driving lessons right now. Okay. Yeah. There is a... A thing, a generational thing where just driving has become less important or also no one can afford cards. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. It was never realistic for me. I also just thought when I learned before, I was so bad and I was like, I don't think I'm meant to do this. And I think more people should admit that. I have like that poor depth perception. Like, I feel like I can't get over that. Yeah. And then I have trouble of hoaxing.

So. Sure. I find that a lot of the objects in the mirrors are actually larger than they appear. Do you remember the Gary Larson comic with that? Was it just like a giant monster eye? Anyways, Gary Larson, we stand. Yeah. You haven't overheard.

I do. Well, it was from the aforementioned puppet workshop, which I don't think people knew. Now, if we didn't talk about it, you couldn't use this overheard. That's true. You couldn't be like, oh, by the way, I went in a puppet workshop. I was in a certain A 12 day, 12 hour a day. But it was

I don't even think the person knew they were doing it when they did it. But we sit around a circle, say what we learned. And I was like, I have very bad hand-eye coordination. And one lady was like, yeah. Was she saying you do?

Yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah. They were like, it kind of dawned on people like, oh, that's why he's not. That's why I can't do it. He's not like the other girls. You didn't even ask what song that I sang to for the lip-syn? Oh, the lip-syn gang, yeah, yeah, yeah.

The other gang did the time warp and another Taylor-swiss-on. Oh, did you do it as a group? You had to do it on video. So you had to practice your monitor work and your lip-syn. There's monitor work? Yeah, and everything's backwards, so I kept going off-camera. My head was constantly in the shot. I felt very bad for my partner.

Who just, I got teamed up because we were standing together in the circle of the time. Same height. Yes, same height. Wow. Yeah. What, so what song? Stand by me was the one I did. Stand by me.

One of the characters was a zombie puppet. And so it was just the whole thing was about him trying to eat my brains. So it had a plot. Oh, okay. Yeah. But, yeah, somebody really agreed with me on the old hand-eye coordination. Yeah. That's funny.

He ain't kidding. And this was of the penis? Yeah, well, you know, that's, first of all, that's why I was so pissed off. When I saw a bunch of women there, I was like, how's this going to work? But my head-eye coordination is actually pretty good in that regard. As it turns out. Yeah, that puddle next to my toilet, notwithstanding. Do you remember Brent Butts joke about it about puppetry of the penis?

He's like, I can only do one. It's the half-eaten hot dog. Gross, gross, everybody. I do artistry of the anus. Now, we also have offered sent into us by people all over the world. If you want to send one in, send it into, sb y, maximum fun.org. This first one comes from Chris in Akron, Akron, Ontario. Ohio.

Ohio. This is a bumper sticker Just had to tell you about a bumper sticker I saw while driving today It read, no baby on board So please feel read to run into me Which is right You don't have a baby on board

Or did you? I never did No When we had babies on board Steph stifling a yawn Would you maybe need a little more coffee? We We, yeah, we didn't ever have the baby on board.

Sometimes I see the king on board one, which sucks. It's like, your baby is your king. Yeah. Well, for those first couple of years, they're calling the shot. Yeah, there's certainly something of a boss baby. But the, yeah, we never did baby on board. Apparently it's like a, it's for, like, first responders if you get in a crash or they're supposed to be like, wait, I think there might be a baby on board. Yeah, or they do the characters on the back windshield.

One, two, three. Oh, shit, four. I like that. You like the stick men? Have they talked about that yet in driving school? You know what I can't do? Parallel Park. Oh, really?

Yeah. Terrible at it. I'm so scared to do that. I realized I've taken five lessons and I haven't reversed yet. Really? Don't you feel like... Do you do? A, was it, was there in class stuff?

I've done that. And then you just. Yeah, I've been trying to get my license for 17 years. This has been a lot. Taking a lot of lessons in a lot of different cities. Have you gone through like pylons or anything like that? Have you gone on like a closed course? No, I just go around the neighborhood.

Just block it. Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. it's man if I didn't have to get one I never would have got one but it was not optional which is good because Calgary you can't live in without a car it's impossible nobody's ever done it nobody ever will

this next one comes from Michael from Michigan I'm in a coffee shop working on my computer there's a group talking loudly a few tables over not really listening I just catch this great snapshot they're all gathered around looking at a picture on a phone when one of the guys says, now that is what I would call a tight rollercoaster. Shit's tight, man.

Are you a roller coaster fan? Yeah. Yeah? Have you, did Canada's Wonderland have a good roller coaster? Yeah. Was that your big one growing up? Yeah. Have you been to the ones out here?

No. There's a rickety one one that'll hurt your back. Oh, I like that. I like a wooden roller coaster. Have you seen the movie Fear? with Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon. Maybe. Well, they ride it.

Oh. They ride the one here. Okay. Where is here? Like in. In Vancouver. Okay. Yeah.

At the amusement park within city limits, which is one of the crazy. Play land at the P&E. Okay. I'm going to go. You've only been here a year, so you haven't, maybe you haven't had a chance to experience the P&E. But it's on right now. Oh. Oh, right.

It's like the... It's like the C&E. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it a good time? Should I go? You can eat all the garbage that you want. It's not great. Okay.

Thank you. There's concerts by people from the 90s. Although they have more big time concerts this year because it's all indoors at the arena. Oh, I didn't realize. Of course, because they're building the new... Empatheter. Yeah. And if you live in that neighborhood, you've got to hear fireworks every night.

and you have to hear whatever band is playing and the constant scream on the roller coaster. Very cool. So it's cheaper to live there. Yeah. This last one comes from Zach from Pennsylvania. I went to a movie theater to see Sketch. Has anybody heard of Sketch?

Oh, it's like a kids horror movie? Yeah. Which is an ostensible kids movie about a tween who draws disturbing images that come to life. I see it was next to a four-year-old who became quite chatty. once the movie started, but 15 minutes into the movie, he turned to his mother and asked originally,

do you think he draws better than me? Do you think he draws better than me, mommy? No, no, no, no, no one does. No, all your choice should turn into scary monsters. You're the most talented a kid in the world. Yeah, it's a, the mom wanted to say yes, but. Yeah. Yeah, for the sake of the kid.

Now, in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls. in addition toovers that are written and we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos if you want to send us a voice memo it's SPY at maximum fun.org and if you want to call us it's one 844-779-7631

that's one like these people have Hi Graham and Dave and possible guest this is James from England I have an overhead for you from a day out taking my kids to a local theme park

Paulton's Park Home of Pepper Pig World We were in a queue for the weather-themed roller coaster The Storm Chaser which spins around as it roller coasters and there are a couple of boys ahead of us maybe eight or nine years old

and one of them says my cousin told me that if you sit in the very back you have a 10% chance of spinning around so fast that you pass out and die. And his friend goes, whoa. But is it like more fun at the back too? And the first boy says, yeah, it's supposed to be 20% more fun at the back.

So it's definitely worth the risk more than it's not worth the risk. Okay. That's the science. And that was really, that was the best part It was the big head of the end He should say Foaming at the gate Yeah, could you please call back?

We should, yeah, call back and say, uh... Actually, boy, we'd like to get sort of a United Nations, everyone's accents If you could send in, yeah, an accent saying frothing at the gash. Folling. Frothing is, I think, when I googled it, that's frothing at the gash, but they said foaming at the gash. So it was their own spin on it.

Yeah. Yeah. Gross. And where should they send those? What's your email? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Damn it. Because we don't want it.

Here's your next phone call. Hi, Graham. Hi, Dave. This is Amy from Seattle calling in with an overheard. The other day, I was sitting on my porch watching some of the neighbor boys play soccer in their prime yard. And one of the older boys, who's about 12, called his little brother who's about four a baby

and the kid replied I'm not a baby I play Minecraft and I have this perfect beautiful face would a baby have this face? Yeah baby's faces are never perfect yeah Minecraft

that's the thing I should learn about what it is sometimes I know it's blocks yeah it's about time yeah when it's on its way out I mean it's been around for I feel like decades

at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know it? Yeah, my nephew is, he watches like the, the YouTubers talk about it. Have you seen that? Yeah. When I, before I had kids, when I just had nephews, they did it.

It's, that's been the, yeah. Like, and kids don't want to play it. They just want to watch other people play it. Yeah. And those, those YouTubers make so much money. It's crazy. For just playing Minecraft. Yeah.

Well, there's more doing it back. They got to upload a video. Yeah. A little bug in the bottom Yeah Sure Here's your final phone call Hi Dave Graham

And probable guest This is Bailey calling in From Kalama Harbor in Washington It's the day that Hogan died And I was at a dive bar And overheard one guy Say to another

He's the reason why I don't work out He worked out And he still died at 7 to 3 it's true when you hear like a runner or something like that dies you're like I'm off the hook yeah but it was the day he died like he's the reason I didn't work out today yeah he was just waiting for somebody in good shape to die oh yeah

Jack Lillane's the reason I don't drink juice but I don't own the Jack Lillane juicer you know Jack Lillane no he was an old-timey fitness guy that would pull a car Oh, okay, maybe I recognize that reference, but I don't know. He did, like, he was an old man when we were a kid. Yeah, but he did have a juicer in his, like, the way that George Farman had a grill. Yeah, I, I, he made carrot juice. That was his big juice.

Oh, okay. Yeah. Do you like carrot juice? I do. Yeah? Yeah. Like a V8? Oh, yes. I love a carrot juice.

I wouldn't touch a V8. No? Yeah. Too peppery. Am I thinking of something else? Love. Like, Clamato juice is my favorite. Like, I drink Clamato juice, not just like a Caesar.

But, like, Caesar is my favorite drink ever. And I've been drinking them since I was, like, 12 years old. Do you drink? They're kind of a brunch drink. Yeah, yeah. But are they a brunch drink to you? Or an old day, all night. I have the etiquette, I think, at a bar.

I don't order them, like, late. Sure. I think that's proper bar etiquette. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you're not showing, you're not rolling in at 10 o'clock and ordering Caesars. But I love a Caesar, man. Oh, my.

God. What's your favorite garnish? Um, do you ever jack up a Caesar? I like a spicy green bean. You know, the spicy green beans. Yeah, those are good.

Yeah, you can jack up a seizure for sure. Is it just an extra shot of vodka? Yeah. Oh, do you get like a slice of bacon? Yeah, you get a slider. Let's lighter. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Steph, thank you so much for being our guest.

Where can people find out about what you're doing as a hilarious stand-up comedian? Um, you can follow me on Instagram at St. Steph Baby Neal. It's called N-E-A-L-E. Yeah, Steph Baby. This Vancouver's comedy, Sweetie. Yeah, we vote on it, and you're it. Woo!

The scene, sweetie. And we'll just, so we're like basically done, but I just want to see you finish that coffee. No! Well, thank you for being our guest. Thank you everybody out there for listening. you know what if you want to have any questions about puppets I'm a well of information at this point

so send me your questions and come on back next week for another episode to stop podcast to yourself Maximum Fun! Maximum Fun A Worker-O network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.