Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 912

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

No guest this week as we talk Covid, western movies, and simple machines. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 912 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me, as always, is a man who I haven't. seen in several weeks, and I miss him so, Mr. Dave Schumka.

That's right. We did a, you went away to Calgary for the summer, and then you came back and we did an episode, and then I got sick, and so we didn't see each other. And now we're, I'm better, but we're airing on the side of caution. Yeah. And we're seeing each other through a camera. And you had the COVID was the, uh, I think it was the COVID, according to the little test I did, but they gave me

two lines. They should give you tests for every possible illness, just so you can rule out, you know, like if you take a test, you're like, oh, it's stomach flu or it's 24-hour flu. You, from your lips to Elizabeth Holmes's ears,

wasn't that her thing? You were, she was going to, you put your hand in this pain box from June and it pokes you with a bunch of needles. That's right. I forgot. what the invention was, because she always had a picture of her with a pill or a vial or a chip.

And then you go to Walgreens and they say, oh, you've got a Spanish flu. You've got Prater Willie, unfortunately. Does OZampic work with Prater Willie? That's a very good question. That's one of you would ask your doctor when you're asking about OZempe. Yeah. And he'd be like, well, I guess it might. Yeah, it's a good question.

But you don't have Prater Willie, though. I know, but it's like... But if I did. But Prater Willie is like you're insatiable, right? And OZempic is a bit like changes your brain relationship to food somehow. Somehow. And also Tracy Morgan says that he figured out how to out-eat OZempec. Good.

What about like, what's the one, PICA? Is that the one where you like eat? This is another disorder? Yeah, I think you eat like... non-food items. What's the one where you eat cigarette butts? Is that? Would that be? Because there's people right who eat

like they sleepwalk maybe and they eat cigarette butts. That's a new one. Just remember there being a thing about cigarette butts that you would just eat everything in sight no matter what the no matter how much

it was or was not like food. I don't know about that. But I I mean, I don't even know what I would Google cigarette butt eating disorder. Yeah, I guess like, but Prater Willie, like, you'll just eat everything just because you can't, you can't get full. Yeah. Or your buddy doesn't recognize that you're full.

I think that's right. It's a funny name for it, Prater Willie, just like Willie. I know, it's so funny, and it sounds like a guy from the Bayou. Yeah. No, I don't mind him. He's just Prater Willie. I mean, yeah. I just hope those epic works.

Yeah. The funny thing about TV commercials, and I guess internet commercials, too, is there was always a law that you can't really say what the drug is for. So you have to make these kind of like, you know, kind of related to the, like it kind of says it without saying it. It's weird because we get American commercials too,

and there's different laws in America. in America and so like sometimes you'll just get like a 30 second commercial that will have like ask your doctor about a Zempick and it's just yeah people like seeing a giant oh in the park that's what I was the exact that I was thinking and then and then there's American ones that have like four minutes of side effects listed yeah and also like the the trademark is always somebody getting their life back. So now they can play with their kid. Yeah. Or they can go, you know, tangoing and, uh, because they don't have plaques psoriasis anymore. What's, is that a skin thing? That's a skin thing. And, you know, it's like,

in the, uh, side effects thing, it's like some, you know, up to, uh, 40% claimed, uh, less lesions, but more suicidal thoughts. I mean, that kind of, that kind of, well, it's good, but there's a bad side. I actually kind of wanted more lesions and less suicidal thought. Yeah, it's a, uh, uh, Plaxorias is one. There's a good one for shingles, shing rex. Shishish, shingles. And they just show the person and then shingles go on them like the chie-a-fad.

Yeah. It's got their head. It's like, um. Whatever, they're the golden girls. What do they have Chia Pets of? What was the original Chia Pet? It was like a, like a goat or a sheep, yeah. Yeah.

Then there's been like, what do you call those, like, Tiki design, Pee Wee Herman, there was a Pee We Herman one, Bob Ross. Yeah, we had a baby Yoda one. I wonder if I go on Amazon. What is the top Chia Pet? Well, this is a good question. The top one is the original, it's a hedgehog. okay the second one is uh homer simpson going into the hedge oh that's a good the meme yeah yeah yeah and then

the third one is uh michael meyers it is not really from halloween michael meyer yeah not from elbows up canadian political commercials mike myers different mike meyers yeah there can only be too. Because he's Mike Myers and Michael Myers is the bad guy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think Mike Myers is more a good guy. Yeah, Mike Myers. Although

if you're on the set of the love guru, you better not make eye contact with him or Louie. Are you going to be in trouble? Or if you were in the theater for the love guru, you may not think he's a great guy either. I really, uh, how did he go from the best

two movies comedy-wise and then like he was in Wayne's world knocked it out of the park Austin Powers nothing better and then Love Guru was so bad that he never made another movie again I remember hearing a local comedian talking about

how you need to follow Mike Myers' example he's like he could sit back and just like rest on his laurels but he's out there he's developing this new character and he's out there he's like I hear rumors about him like doing live performances like going out and he's trying to tweak these little things so he can make

this character perfect and it was the love guru um the one gag in it is pretty funny that instead of namasteas as mariska hargettee at one point she shows up and it's good cameo you say that for the sequel you got to be yeah yeah exactly where you and there was going to be sequel i mean everything else he did had a sequel i know and They must have assumed this is going to be, this is going to be a franchise. There was no Axe murderer sequel. Is that really all he did? I guess Shrek, the Shrecks.

He did, he did all the Shrecks. That's right. And as we discussed on a past episode, a bonus episode, Shrekking is the, the new dating trend. Where you date someone ugly, hoping that they'll treat you better. Better, because they're grateful that you. Yeah, and but it turns out that they're mean. But he was also, he had a small role in Inglorious Bastards and a small role in Bohemian Rhapsody.

And then didn't he host the gong show or the match game as a character? Yeah, he had a thing, character guy, British guy. And he was on whatever network it was on. He was on the talk show of that network as the character. And I was like, this sucks. You heard of your first? this is bad and having to pretend that this guy is not Mike Myers is oh sure is kind of and it's also like uh you know the gong show everything's the

gong show now you don't need the gong show anymore was it your X factors it was it was it was updated um but you know you got america's got talent you don't need the gong show anymore remember when uh past guest adam christie used to host zoinked the canadian kids gong show Or they would bring on adult buskers and the kids would zoeke them? What? I was talking to somebody who's a busker, and I feel like, and I could be wrong about this, but I think maybe in busking circles, busker is kind of a slur. They prefer street performer over busker.

I use the term busker, and you can tell that they were like, street performer. Yeah. Well, I think it's, I think you can still say Busker. Yeah, I mean, you and I can say it. History, maybe history will look back on us, like, we're monsters. That's true. I mean, like, there's a certain word that you can't call Newfoundlanders anymore because they consider it a slur.

So, and it was a term of endearment. Lobster fucker, exactly. And then any time that you use a word like that, like cowfucker or lobster fucker. I'm immediately trying to picture how you would have sex with said creature. Sure. It'd be tough. Tough with a lot. Or maybe it would be really easy.

Who gets called cowfucker? You know, the guys on the prairies. Cowboys. Cowfuggers. That's right. I think other countries call us moose fuckers. Yeah, sure. Certainly in New Zealand.

They have quite a few sheep that they get accused of fucking. Yeah, that's right. And those are easy to picture in your head of how it would go down. Lobster would be very... You know, this Canadian sheep farmer went down to New Zealand. Did you hear about this? Yeah.

No. He, uh, he, he went to a sheep farm. He was like, I'm curious about the sheep situation down here. And there was a, uh, New Zealand, a Kiwi, uh, sheep farmer down there. Yeah. And he was having sex with one of the sheep. And, uh, the Canadian sheep farmer said, you know, in Canada, we just, shear the sheep. And the New Zealander said, I'm not shearing it with anyone.

It was that kind of. It's a true story. It's a true story. I remember when it was on the news here. It was on CBC News World, a top story. Yeah, New Zealander refused to shear sheep. Well, folks, we don't have a guest this week because we're on Zoom and I have COVID. I think I don't have it anymore. I tested negative as of two days ago. Okay. But I have it. I'm glad you're on the other side. I tested a positive for a whole week. Yeah. I didn't test every day.

Some days it was beyond, there was no doubt. And what, like, were you in bed, or you had to keep working away on things? Well, you know what? Let's get to know us. Oh, let's get to know us. Tell me about your disease. I was in bed. My kids are now 8 and 10, almost 11.

And this was like the- I cannot believe that. I know, right? I cannot believe that you have a 10 year old It seems so short of time But also feels like such a long period of time My buddy My brother in Christ

Welcome to it The days are long The years are short or whatever Yeah Wow wow wow wow wow wow And this was the first time I felt Like I was sick In bed

Where I was like Oh I don't have to take care of my kids right now They can They're like good For a few hours so I had and Abby was home most of the days most of the time now that's Bob Dylan I think oh that's good that was a good one where you were sick was was it kind of nice to be able to live and not have to worry about doing yeah I watched many movies oh yeah um speaking of words

you're not allowed to use anymore I watched uh unforgiven I'd never seen Unforgiven before oh yeah the Clint Eastwood, uh, shot in Alberta, famously shot in, yeah, you can tell us shot in Alberta, because there's like, you're like, hmm, that actor's Canadian. Yeah, and also the car or all the horses have, I love Alberta beef bumper stickers on their ass. Like, hmm, Saul Rubenek seems to be in a lot of this movie. Um, the, uh, yeah, and there's like, uh, a big thing about, um, like he's just, they're collecting, they're trying to collect a, uh, a role. ward to kill these people who brutalized a sex worker, but they don't say sex worker.

Yeah, but I think it would be funny if Clint Eastwood was like, sex work is work, Albrey. Yeah, he goes back and redubs the movie. But it was, I, it's, I don't generally, I'm not drawn to Western movies. And, um, uh, because I, I feel like growing up, if there was ever a movie on TV, it was an old ass dusty Western-looking thing and I was not interested. And, but I, like, that was the first one that I heard as like a adolescent.

I'm like, actually, the Western's back. Yeah, and I, everybody saw it, even though it was, um, too mature, but everybody I know in Alberta saw it when it came out. It was like, and I saw it for the first time with COVID and, um, I love it. I was fine. Yeah. Won some Oscars the year that it came out. It won Best Picture. And is that the only one of his, the one best picture?

Or did Million Dollar Baby also take it? Yeah, a million dollar baby maybe also won it as well. Clinties, what a career. You know what I mean? Like, love them or hate him? You cannot deny. Love him or hate him? You got to love him. What's his latest effort? Was it? Juror number two. Right.

And that was like a 12 Angry Men. I doubt. The fact that he's still making movies at this point is mind-blowing. But he's still going out on set at, what is he, 90? Clint Eastwood age. Siri, Clint Eastwood age me. Clint Eastwood, Beachwood, aged. Clint Eastwood.

Age, please. 95. No way, really? Mm-hmm. 95. And Woody Allen, who's just on Club Random with Bilmar, he is 89 and still making films where he's dating an 18-year-old. Who did you say? Woody Allen.

Woody Allen. Oh, God. 89. He's still making films? Yeah. And he knows he knows he's going to be dead soon. So he's like, well, just going to wrap the things up here. But does he know that no one's going to see his films?

Like his current films while he's alive? I didn't know he was still making Is he making them in France? I don't know, but he You know, he kind of kept making movies Despite, you know, nobody seeing them for And then he would make one really awesome one And everybody would be like, Woody Allen's back

And then his next one would stink And he'd still make one make one a year He was making one film a year Yeah, Clint seems to do that But I did not know Woody Allen was still making movies No, neither did I And I don't, I feel like I never thought he would be on a show like Club Random.

Like, I just never thought Woody Allen would be on a podcast. Yeah. You know. Did you watch? No, I just said I heard the highlights. Uh-huh. You know, Bill, he loves to sound off on society now. You know, is it too sensitive?

They both talked about how they met Donald Trump, and they kind of thought he was kind of good. Kind of a groovy guy. Yeah. But, you know, anyways, Woody else is still out there fighting the good fight. My dad sometimes watches Bill Maher, and I think he thinks I must watch it, too, because he's like, as an old guy, I think you think you see Bill Maher and you're like, well, he's the, he's, he's, my son's kind of a lefty, he must like Bill Maher.

My favorite is the recipe of people that he will have on as guests. It'll be like, a congressman, some sort of new. Pundit, and then, like, Ian McShane from... Oh, sure. And Hock, Tuah. Where does she go? She shone so brightly, and then... She didn't she do a crypto scam?

Yeah, she's a crypto scam and dipped. Crypto dipto. I don't hate it. You know what I mean? Like, you're going to have the... Time is on the clock from becoming, you know, becoming the start to the end of being a hawk to a girl and so why not get as much as you possibly can yeah what you could you what what was the best case path for her like she does a

uh she gets a podcast then i'm guessing like the usual trajectory would be um like bad song she comes out with a bad song yes yes that's a good that's a very common common uh track Um, and then, um, uh, like, dancing with the stars. Hmm. Yeah. Like, even guys like, what was his name? The White House press secretary guy. John Spicer.

John Spicer. He made it on to. Yeah. Um, yeah, the, uh, Dancing with the Stars is a good one. And then, like, some sort of reality show where it's like, you know, we gathered reality show contestants to make this show kind of thing. Yeah, you're going to be on the traitors. And then you're going to be, you're going to have, oh, another one that you could have

would be a cameo in like a scary movie or something like that. You know, like, I could feel like Sarah Palin may have done a cameo. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they still, they don't make movies like that. There's one coming out this summer. What is it? Another scary movie. Oh, it's a scary movie. Oh, it's, oh, okay.

Yeah, this coming summer. So they just announced the new cast for Dancing with a Star. season 34. Oh, shit. Is there anybody I would know on it? Yeah. Should I guess? No.

Oh, okay. Well, I'm saying it. No, wait, he's dead. Well, there's one name Jan Affleck. Jan Affleck? She's not related to Ben Affleck. She's from the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Okay.

She's one of the Mormon wives, I assume? Yes. I assume as well. This one you know, it's, uh, do you? I'm just telling you. There's so many. Halaria Baldwin Oh sure

Yeah She's probably going to do A tango or a flamenco Because of her Spanish heritage Right There's Jordan Childs Who is a gymnast Okay

She'll win Because athletes do I think athletes do best On the show Because they are used to practicing Yeah Yeah Yeah

And They know tempo And all that kind of stuff Baron Davis Two-time NBA All-Star, Alex Earle, who is an online influencer. Oh, sure. I'm surprised there aren't more of that, honestly, on a show like that at this point.

Dylan Efron, a digital creator and reality star who just won Traders and is related to Zach Efron. Oh, yeah. Shit. I remember that from the opening spiel of this season that he was on. remember that show that was on very very briefly about people who were related to somebody famous Oh yeah And Tom Hanks's niece got mad

Because she got eliminated first Yeah That's a pretty good reality show Okay Corey Feldman Oh sure He's gonna do the moonwalk He does like yeah Michael Jackson dances Topanga herself Danielle Fissel

Oh okay I wonder where she's been hiding herself The last couple years I think she was on, she was on Girl Meets World on Disney Channel and Pod Meets World, the podcast of a Boy Meets World. And the, Elaine Hendricks,

who is, was sort of the heel in the, um, the Lindsay Lohan parent trap remake. Oh, sure. Okay. Also, uh,

boy meets world adjacent. Mr. Feeney, the guy who plays him, 98 years old. Oh, wow. Are you just on Celebrityold.com? I just know that I read that he was alive a couple months ago, and I was blown away, that he's still at it.

He's still teaching. Scott Hoying, who is from the Acapella Group Pentatonics. Oh, sure. Yeah, popular online choir, would you call it? Lauren Oh, sorry Robert Irwin Who is the son of

Steve Irwin Oh yeah Lauren Jorogui Who is in Fifth Harmony Boy, boy They're really

stretching these stars I feel like At least there used to be A sitcom actors I guess there's one on there So Whitney Leavitt

Who is also From the Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives There should be A limit Of like one per other reality show. And then finally, Andy Richter.

Oh, really? Yeah. I wonder if it pays a lot of dollarinos to be on that show. Or is it? Because I always feel bad when they have celebrities on and they're like, and your money is going to a charity. I'm like, well, I don't think they necessarily have the giving away money. Yeah, sure.

You know, somebody from the Mormon house, wives. Yeah. And we're on Celebrity Jeopardy and it's like, you know, George Clooney versus Gunther from Friends. And your charity is the Gunther Foundation. Tell me a bit about that. Well, I'm providing lattes for troubled youth.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so we don't have a guess. This is sort of what the show is. We're going to, this is, hey, if you're someone who listens to the show and doesn't listen to the bonus episodes they're they're all just me and Graham

on Zoom it's a lot it's real loose it's fun it's like this so if you like this you gotta join up at maximumoffund.org slash join yeah this is like a peek behind the curtain behind the curtain this is nice for people out there and I was reading on some thread

on maybe Reddit Maximum Fun that there are people who just listen to the bonus episodes and have never listened to an episode of the of the regular show. So to them, we're just all Mr. Bean and, uh, et cetera, et cetera. Hot topic is the one, not. Yeah.

Um, well, uh, yeah, so I watched, uh, Unforgiven. I watched, oh, you know, uh, I watched like a movie a day. Nice. But, and there were, well, I watched a couple of westerns I had already seen before because I was like, do I hate all westerns? And then I watched, uh, true grit and I loved it. Yeah, true grit. it was really good. And then I rewatched. I had seen

the 310 to Yuma. Oh, yeah. I really liked it when I first saw it. I didn't like it so much this time. I don't think I saw it. Was it Christian Bale? No. Christian Bale and Russell Crowe. Russell Crow. Yes. The two Titans. Yeah, two Australians as as Americans. Christian Bale's not Australia. You get my point. I get it.

I also I've never also seen the death of Billy the Kid by the Coward Oh yeah, I've never saw that either There was like that one clump of Westerns Yeah, it's true, like I think like one studio

makes a Western and other studios like We gotta, you know, get on board with the Western. We got to make our Dante's Peak to their volcano. Exactly. Exactly. I think a part of it is that they're all with the exception of true grit, they're all like over two and a half hours long.

Which original westerns weren't. Original westerns kind of were like a buck and a half kind of horror movie length. I am just kind of allergic to that length of movie. Not even in practice, just like seeing those numbers. Once it goes above 120 minutes and you have to do the math, you're like 168 minutes.

What are we looking at here? I also If presented with a choice between a Western and an Army film, I'll always choose Western. I don't like movies that are like Army, you know, I don't care for them. I mean, Horrors of War, sure, I get it, but I don't want to see a war movie.

So one of the movies I watched in my weekend state that I'd never seen before was saving Private Ryan. Okay, an army. An army, and a movie I'd never seen before. Yeah. And can I tell you? I loved it. It's good.

It's perfect. It's very good. It's very good. And this is coming from somebody who just stated he does not like a war movie. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I don't like, you know, people being destroyed by bullets on the beach. I talked about that, how I, like, tune out after too many pew people.

Pugh, Pugh. Yeah. That's what, like, watching the movie, Dunkirk in the theater made you feel insane because it was so loud. There's so much Poo, Poo-Poo-A all over the place. Yeah. For me, it was, oh, what's the one? It's good. But I just, my, I just went numb.

It's the one where they're, like, shooting a bunch of guns. Mm-hmm. I'm with you, Zover. And it is called Sicario. Haven't seen Sicario. Oh, you'd love it. What's the one that's got Jude Law and I think also maybe Ed Harris? Oh, I saw that in the theater.

It is called Enemy at the Gates. Enemy of the Gates, yes. And there's a very, like, Rachel Weiss is in it. And they have a sex scene, but they're like having sex in World War II. literally like while during the siege of Leningrad and there's like a bunch of people sleeping up next to them and her butt on screen was so white I uh I kind of is like uh love island where people are having sex next to other people that are sleeping no war going on so it's probably a lot harder because you kind of keep the noise down completely yeah I find my partner usually

he's pretty good to keep it the noise down maybe a little too good checking their watch I you're speaking of Love Island

your favorite show is canceled oh too hot to handle yeah oh it got canceled did you hear no what

I thought that format was platinum I thought it would just go on forever and ever yeah well I don't know someone send me a link because it canceled what do you want me to say uh yeah okay i'm shocked

uh i just assumed like i say that that it was you know like x factors it will just be on forever yeah um yeah it's canceled after six seasons six horny seasons that was the one where they weren't allowed to have sex they lost money like everyone it was like a like everyone loses money if two people look up? Yeah, there's a pot. And the funny, like, the last season was great because there were a couple couples that were like, we don't care about the money. We're

going to have sex all over this crazy island. And they hired people, like the idea was that the contestants are all the horniest, hottest people around. Yeah. And, and they're given like opportunity. They don't have to sneak away. They're like, now it's going to be the hot oil challenge. You know, like, oh boy, this is going to, that's going to horn everybody up. And were they allowed to go masturbate?

They weren't allowed to masturbate. They weren't allowed to kiss. They were only allowed to hold hands. That was the only thing that was allowed. But what if they, what if just holding hands was enough for some of them to need to change their underwear? Do they lose money? You mean like somebody who's, you know, never, they have all the horniest people in the world

that are well sexed and that one guy that's a virgin? Hey, that's not a bad show. Yeah, he's Joe Schmo. It's Joe Schmo, but... He assumes everybody else is a virgin, but everyone's sneaking away and banging all over the place. Well, we all came here to lose our virginities, right? I still always think of that clip from whatever show it was,

where two virgins kissing on their wedding day at the altar, and they have no idea how to kiss. Have you ever seen that clip? Yeah. I might go watch it later on today. Just have a good chuckle. He really doesn't know what he's doing. He kind of is like trying to eat her face.

You think you would have practiced a lot on a piece of fruit. Yeah, do you, when people get married, and you may now kiss each other. Yeah. Do you, the appropriate thing to do is like, go like 40%. Yeah. And more of a, like, certainly mouth closed. Just a nice.

Not close, but, like, more than, like, a peck, but. Yeah. But not much more. Less than the November rain video where they go at it at that wedding. Yeah, and less than, all over the place. Is it dumb and dumber he does these, like, blowing in her mouth? Oh, man, I wonder what working with Jim Carrey is like, is he on all the time, Rob Williams style, or is he, he, you know, can he turn it on and off?

Would you rather spend a day with Jim Carrey or Mariah Carey? She's so, she can be a diva. She can be a diva, but she has access, unlimited access to Nick Cannon. So that way I'm getting the funniest guy in America and Ryan Carey. True. And she famously has unlimited access to him. He's certainly not impregnating everything. around.

Yeah, that guy is the most potent guy. They should actually do too hot to handle and have one virgin and one Nick Cannon. It's funny because he is such a jiz smith and then his name is canon. He's a what? A jiz smith. Okay. Like a word smith boat with jiz. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He, uh, it's this year is, uh, America's Got Talent's 20th anniversary. and he was a host for a while and they kind of were showing a reel of all the best moments and there was one where he disguised himself as a mime and really fooled Simon Cowell into thinking he was one of the act and that was the only mention of Nick Cannon

and the whole thing that was his one blip now okay so he hasn't had a because I remember a few years ago he was having kids like monthly yeah all over the place Um, but he, according to his Wikipedia, his, he hasn't had a child since 20, 22. So that's good. Yeah. Enough is enough, you know.

But he did have one. He did have two in 2020. No, three. Three. Wow. Yeah. He had three in 22. Uh, and that's great. No, four in 2020. He had four in 2020. No, he had. Okay. He had five in 2020. That's why I think it was a little bit. Five by, I assume, five different women, or at least four different than one. Because I was kind of like reading up from the bottom of the list, but some of the women had multiple children with him. And they, so there's, he had September 22, June of 22, November of 22, December of 22, and also another September of 2022. Wow. Wow.

All, like five kids in the last half of 2022. And I'm sure he's there for all of. he manages some personal time with them every day i'm sure yeah of his kids i like at the end of all of his shows like you know how they have the little title card of everyone's production company yeah and his is his uh jiz smith productions he um i don't know what he's doing now i know that he I only know him from American talent and what was it called? Not so you think he can dance, but

wasn't it like there was a dance dance off thing and he was the host of Didn't he do Wiling Out? Was that? Wiling out, Wiling out. It was like an improv show, right? Yes. Yeah. We didn't get that here. No. Also, he had I know he had a health problem, but when it under health and illness it says, in November

2024, Cannon revealed he had been clinically diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. You're telling me, a guy who has sired this many kids just thinks about himself. And he also had kidney stuff. Oh, no. Well, I hope he's recovering, you know, nicely somewhere comfortable. Anyway, come on the show, Nick. We love you.

Yeah, he's our white whale. He's been the guy that we've been trying to get. Him and Terry Cruz. Those are the two. Yeah. Is he the current host? He's the current host. And remember, he had an addiction to pornography, which is the funniest thing you could be addicted to.

Huh. I guess I never looked at it that way, but I might. Do you end up going to a recovery group just for porn addicts, or do you just go to a general group and then everybody says what they're addicted to? I think, well, here's my idea. You go to a sex porn. addiction recovery group or so you think but it turns out it's too hot to handle and there's money on the line but they instead of having sex with the other contestants they try to sneak off and check a little porn yeah I have a feeling if you're addicted to porn you would accept

the touch of a human I wonder because I feel like in the not too distant future there's going to be a lot of men who are having relationships with AI and possibly connected objects. So I feel like that's, we're going to see a lot of that. That's going to be. When you say connected objects, you mean like a fridge that has internet access? Where you keep a bunch of jars of pudding that you have sex with. Make your own. Wouldn't you want them room temperature? My headphones fell out. That's the problem with the kids these days.

They're so plugged in. They don't even warm up their sex pudding. Yeah, it's on like the Today Show is like, how to make your own fleshlight. Do you remember that Red Hot Chili Pevers album, Blood Sugar, Sex Pudding? I do. I got it from Columbia House. My parents said that I wasn't allowed, but.

Um, so yeah, I watched those movies, um, but we really didn't see each other for very long. And then it was, it was quite, uh, uh, strange to see you and then be like, well, I can't see you this week. Yeah. It was weird and it was like, it, we, we had the, the guests lined up and then it was, it was, yeah, you were sick. You were sick the day of. I didn't know what to do with myself the rest of the day, to be honest. I was like, I had kind of, you know, you kind of, you kind of chun, you know, cut out a chunk of the day.

This is what I'm doing during this time. I was like, what do I do? And did you watch three Western movies instead? No, I think I had a nap. I think it was like this prime nap time. So wait, you saw three Westerns. You saw Three Tenthiuma, Unforgiven. Intenti Yuma and True Grit.

Oh, true grit, right. And then one army movie or more than one army movie? I saw the one army movie. Maybe I should do like theme months. Hmm, yeah, where Dave discovers the classics of the genre. Yeah, that's basically it for the sickness. Yeah. I was sort of down with the sickness.

Were you? Oh, shit. Who is that system? Not system of a down. Who's down with six? Is that Uwah? Is that down with a sickness? Yeah.

Uh-uh. One of the most iconic nonsense noises of, of the generation. Is that disturbed? I'm going to go with your your guess and say that. I get disturbed in Drowning Pool mixed up because Drowning Pool's song also ruled.

What was theirs? Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the rule. I was going somewhere downtown and had to pass by Rogers Arena and the

band that was playing was the Deftones. Okay. And to me, I always thought the Deftones was something like the Gypsy Kings. Like that name in my head was like, oh, they're kind of a fun, a cappella group. But they're not. And they, boy, oh, boy, do they have the gothiest fans around.

They do have very gothy fans. Yeah. I was, you know, just arriving by, I was like, what is this? What could possibly unite these Goths? Those are the Deftones. These guys are going to see the Gypsy Kings? Remember when they just. like they had a brief time in the the spotlight and then the gypsy kings yeah and now we're

not even allowed to say their name anymore um what was their song i want to say by lamos but that was errique ecclesias and it's not um bumboleo it's it might be bumbleaio oh was it yeah bumbleaio bumbleaio hand clap hand clap and they do that rhythmic hand like one they clap between each other's claps? Yes. Gypsy Kings. Oh, if you type Japanese people is the first thing

that comes up, but Javit Bollumboleo. Oh, nice. They're probably on like some kind of, oh, they played this past summer at the P&E. Of course.

Did you go to the P&E this year? I did not. Did you? No, we were planning to go the second. week, but I, I believe I had the novel coronavirus. Hmm. And I said, Abby, you can take the kids without me. And she said, no.

Fine, fine. Does either Margo or Pop, is Poppy tall enough to get on a roller coaster? Yeah, yeah. Well, I don't know about the big ones, but. Yeah, I'm talking about the big rickety, you know. Yeah, I don't know. She might be a little short for that. Margo, though, she can.

Margo can do it all. Yeah. I think next year we'll just go, instead of waiting till the very end for the peony, and the peony is so expensive now. It really is. You don't get the concerts for free anymore. And it's, you know, the food is like outrageously expensive. Fair food was always pretty expensive, but it's mind-blowing how expensive a corn dog.

So I think next year we'll just go to Playland. Yeah, just like, because then do you just buy a pass and then you get on the rides. But at the peony, I guess you get. You have to use tickets. No, you can get the pass. So there are like, but there's like different levels of the pass you can get. And for anybody that doesn't know, Playland is a amusement park inside the city limits, which is a strange. I've always found that very strange that it's within the bounds of the city instead of being out like out of town.

It's as close to being out of town as you can be. Right on the line. But yeah, we did not go to that. We went this summer to the water slides, which are out of town. The, what is it called? That's called Big Splash. Big splash. When I was a kid, it was called Splashdown.

Splash down into Wausen. Oh, this one. Is there another one? There's one in Tawasun? No, there's, well, Ladner is Tawasin, basically. Oh, okay, okay. They're kissing cousins. There's one out near Chilowack at Coltis Lake.

Coltis Lake, that's the one, yeah. But that's a drive. How fun was the water park? We went last year, expecting it to not be that much fun. We loved it. We loved it last year. Yeah. And this year we loved it just as much.

It was so great. Yeah, so much fun. The kids are even like, the kids like went off on their own for the first time, like, at an event like this where we were like, oh, they don't want us or need us at all. Yeah. They're figuring out their own. slide styles. They, like, want to hang out with each other, which is new. Eventually, you just give in to the fact that you

have a sibling, and you're like, well, I can't seem to shake you. But the, so you know I have a love-hate relationship with Sunblock. Yes. Use it, but hate it. I use it, but hate it. And I won't use it. Like I, like Cass, Furman was on a few weeks ago and was like,

oh, you have to wear. sunscreen every day. Yes. All 365 days a year, you have to wear it on all of your skin. And it's like, that has really been repeating in my head. Almost every time that I am going out, I picture her saying, always wear sunscreen every day. Yeah. I wear it on my face every day in the summer. Yeah.

But if it's like an event where I'm taking my shirt off, I'm going swimming is up, I'm doing my whole body. Yeah. And it's hard to get that, it's hard to get that mid-back section. You really need a partner. You do need a partner. So this time, last year I made the mistake of, I did my kids up and I did my face. And I was like, oh, when I get there, I'll do my body. And then I forgot.

I got to. And around 3 o'clock last year, I remember thinking, oh, my shoulders are feeling a little hot. Oh, shit. I never did it. I never put on sunscreen. Were you so red? I was so red and peeling for weeks. Oh, man.

I mean, that's kind of the good side. Yeah, you get a little snack. Yeah. You wriggle out of it like a snake. And this year, I was like, I'm not making that mistake again. And Abby bought this brand of sunscreen I'd never seen before. Okay. Option Plus.

Which is apparently the house brand of like Rexall. Okay. What is called option plus? Option plus. Okay. And we got the, we, we got the sport kind, which lasts longer in water and sweat and stuff. And I was like, as, so I put that on, we went, um, we went water sliding. The water slides were great.

Like one, I'm like, maybe I'll put on more sunscreen. Yeah. And, you know, just to be safe. And then at three, my shoulders were starting to feel kind of red and or feel kind of hot and I'll put on another coat. It didn't work. None of it worked at all. It was all fake sunscreen. Ah, fuck. Rexal.

I don't trust their house brands because their house brand candy is so bad that I just assume all of the house brand stuff stinks. Is it Rexall or like IDA? It's just some, one of the lesser chain of pharmacies in this country. Yeah.

I had on all things sunscreen and standing in the sun I went to, when I was in Calgary, went to a fair that didn't have rides, but it had all the other things, like a, you know, a bunch of booths, you know, we're selling this, we're selling that, and then kind of like a 4-H animal building, and there's no shade. It is just, you're just out on cement in the blazing heat. I don't know how people did it. After about 20 minutes, I felt like woodstock 99. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I felt like it was going to die

I don't know how people just like hang out in the sun for hours at a time it blows my mind I don't know how people do it So I watched those two Woodstock 99 documentaries five years ago or whatever Yeah both great Both great

No maybe I just watched one of them Because even then I was like I think I knew this story already I don't need to see this twice You lived it Yeah But what I forgot Because a clip came on

my Instagram this week. And what I forgot was the offspring was there. And they played their song Pretty Fly for a White guy. And the guy from the video was on stage with them during like dancing around and like humping them.

Do you remember when Pearl Jam won a Grammy or maybe an MTV video award and he brought them? Yeah. brought the kid on stage with him. Yeah. And I was like, and he was like, see, he's fine.

And I was like, was there a controversy that the actor died during the shooting of this video? Or that he was so disturbed. I never really paid attention to that video, but I was like, shouldn't a nash that recess lady's breath? Breast. Yeah, I watched an old clip of Eddie Vedder like climbing to the top of a stage and then rappelling down a microphone cord? Yeah.

Yeah. That was pretty cool. He didn't repel down the cord, did he? Yeah, it was at the top of me. The card couldn't hold him. I know, I didn't think so either, but there you go. And he better prove us all wrong. Yeah, I guess he was teaching us about pullies and simple machines.

That's right. Like you, as a kid, got to go there for science class. You got to see Pearl Jam and make sure you make notes about how he. Did he use a wedge at any point? that was always such a drag when you got to go to like the zoo or heritage park or whatever and you had to like this form what or can you name the simple machines oh god no pulley pulley wedge uh lever lever yeah um ball and socket no i i missed the day we did that so i don't know oh physically went so far over my head that I didn't even dip a toe. But I think simple machines was like

elementary school. Hmm. Interesting. So they are a pulley, wedge, lever, or lever for your 2,000 parts. Yep. Wheel and axle. So, okay.

Flash and axle. These are actually simple members of Guns and Roses. inclined plane and screw screw screw yeah I don't think I knew all that

so there you go no me neither I having just said them I don't think I could tell you what an inclined plane like I'm seeing a diagram of it I don't know how it works as a machine maybe you push things down it

and it picks up steam I don't know I don't know But like Oh yeah You can use it to A mechanical device That changes the direction

Or magnitude of a force So yeah you can push a barrel up of Ramp Yeah I Did you do field trips like that Where it was in conjunction with a class Oh I remember

I think I've told the story In grade two We went to the aquarium and we all had a sheet we had to fill out. Yeah. And it was a field trip that the parents drove us. So like you carpooled with a parent. And I remember being in someone's minivan and having my sheet and waving it out the window and letting go.

And I remember feeling terrible. The whole field trip, like, oh, fuck, I'm not going to have my sheet. I'm not going to feel I can't tell anyone. And then getting back to school and no one cared. No, like then we didn't. I didn't have to submit it. It was just busy work. Yeah, like, I had to go, we went to Heritage Park in Calgary, and we had to draw a house.

We had to, like, use rulers and stuff to draw a house. And I put ghosts in all the windows, and the teacher said, no, you're not allowed to do that. And so she watched me as I erased them. And the second she was gone, you know, they're going back in those windows. Come on, teacher. Yeah, man. This is fun. I'm having fun with the project.

Let me express myself. She's like, no, no, you're just supposed to draw it the way it is. And of course, you know, Darcy Frederick's there. She's drawing it perfect. She looks like she's an architect. Heritage Park was like the old-timey, like, gold rush town or whatever. Yeah, and they had a really good candy shop of old-timey. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, like candy canes, but without the hook on the end, what are those called? It's kind of like a candy stick? Candy stick, yeah. just candy sticks and you know bubble gum and there's a very satisfying thing i see on my instagram sometime it's just like people like they make a they combine a bunch of colors like colored candy rods that are really hot like warm and then they roll them into a one long thing and they zoom in and they start cutting little tiny like oh it's it's it's a little circular you know picture of mario yeah yeah yeah

Oh, man, that rock candy, I remember the first time I had in Ireland, and it really hangs on. It's like, like, really couldn't pull a filling out if you ate enough of it and I just couldn't get enough. Loved it. That in Saltwater, Taffy. Yeah, we once did a field trip to the Big Rock Candy Mountain, where the chickens lay hard-boiled eggs. Yeah, that's something like that. Yeah, there's no train bulls. the cops have wooden legs

That's right Yep The bulldogs have rubber teeth And stuff like that You had to fill out Henslaid soft boiled eggs You have to count all the things In Big Rock County Mountain for the school

Dave where's your page You're gonna miss the little streams of alcohol trickling down the rocks But yeah So that was a great thing I did And the other great thing That I think we've all been celebrating it across this great country is

I went to McDonald's and I had the Shania Twain value meal. Let's drink girls. Chomp it, boys. So what is in this concoction? So it's not, so Shania Twain did these ads

on, I guess, TV. I definitely saw a banner ads on websites. Okay. Of her looking sensational and saying, go to McDonald's and get your Shania Twain food. That's a get for both of them, that she would be in McDonald's,

and McDonald's would be able to get her, because Tim Hortons is landing Ryan Reynolds. And what's his face? Justin Bieber. And those two can't hold a candle to Shania Twain. Shania Twain's it. And she did, so you go there and her face is on stuff,

and you get a, there's, I think only two items that you get that are, three items that you get are Shudnaya Twain coated. Okay. One is fries that have like this spice. Like you have a like flavor packet and you, they're shaker fries and then you put,

you just get regular fries. You put the flavor packet on it. You shake it yourself and they come out tasting like curry kind of. Famously associated with the twine. Yep. And then there's also. instead of an apple pie, there's a strawberry pie. And that is a, that's a winner.

Yeah, and is it the same? Is, and this is my ignorance around McDonald's, is the apple pie still a thing in a little cardboard sleeve? Yeah. Still. It used to be, I feel like it used to be deep fried. Like, it used to have, like, bubbles on the skin. I think you're right.

And now it's just, like, breaded. And then the third thing you get are these pink Shania Twain. McDonald's boots key chain. That is amazing. That is huge. During the winter Sally went to McDonald's because they had Grinch

themed desserts and one of the things was shaker of dill pickle, which she did not get her shaker. It was the crestfallen. And they got, and you got socks with either the Grinch or the Grinch's dog on them. And so I went and I got the

And then I was like, oh, this is great. I'm glad I'll buy it. I mean, I don't need this keychain, but I'll buy it because it, you know, it's for a good cause. It's not for any cause. Money goes to McDonald's and Chenaya Twain. It was like one of those celebrity charity things. Yeah, or it's like if you go to Shoppers Drug Mart where you're checking out and at one point it's like, do you want to give $2 to women? It doesn't list the good charity or anything.

I just gave $2 to women. Janiah Twins. But, uh, but, uh, yeah, but it's all for good cause and, you know.

Uh, what is the, what would they, how would they describe the shaker fries? Our world famous fries made from 100% Canadian potatoes, just got a flavor makeover, coated in the iconic all dressed season and Canadians know and love.

Oh, that's what it was supposed to be. All dressed. Yeah. Hmm. Um, um, I feel like,

Canada is having a real renaissance with celebrity endorsements. I'm talking about you, Jim from the office dancing to Taylor Swift on a boat. You see those ads? For some kind of banking commercial? It was for Rogers. Oh, was it Rogers? Yeah, why did they get him? I don't know, but God forbid we forget that Rogers is the company for two seconds in this country.

And they have a new one now with somebody else that's like a big name. um doing some some other lame thing anyways i saw eugene levy like talking to someone at a party yeah he's i feel like eugene levy never turns down uh you know an ad or or anything or a movie or a movie it's kind of like simu lu oh yeah that guy won't there's nothing he won't do he'll host the juno's he'll go to the opening of a best buy he's a special guest on uh Dragon's Den. He's a special guest dragon. Mm-hmm. I mean, make hay well the sun shines, right?

You're not going to be in a... Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, just like... Yeah. Hock-Tua. Yeah, exactly. Canada's Hocdua. I've got Simulio coin burning a hole in my pocket. Anyway, that's what's been going on with me.

How about you, my friend? I, in the past, uh, a little while... What was the full plan with the puppet? Cool. Were you never going to mention it? No, I was going to mention it, but, like, completely out of nowhere, be like, I went to a two-week. Oh, but then Alicia ruined it. Yeah, it was going to be a surprise. But I went to three movies, one of them, aforementioned, weapons.

Yeah? Oh, you hadn't seen it last time. I hadn't seen it, no. Right, you had seen the naked gun. It seen the naked gun. I was excited about going to see weapons. Went to it. Loved it.

Did you love it? Yeah. I thought it was so well done and so scary and so like twisty turny and then the ending, funniest ending ever in a horror movie. Yeah, it's really great. Yeah, like not to spoil it for anybody, but like the final, the climactic scene, so funny. Again, I mean, I'm not spoiling anything, but Graham, go, you go off, game. But I would highly recommend it.

And see, it's really, and I think you said this. about watching it, being in the theater was so much fun. Because all the like scares in it, everybody's like, there were, it wasn't very full when I saw it, although it was the opening weekend. I saw it, I saw a matinee, so that might have been why. But it was like, it was the number one movie for three weeks in a row, and it's coming out on streaming now.

It's like, that's too fast. It is too fast, but I think you're either going to watch it on streaming or you're going to go to the theater. You kind of make that decision. in that first week. So, you know, I don't know. I don't know how Hollywood's making movies off or money off of movies anymore.

They, I don't know how it works with going on a streaming service. I have no idea. Did you get popcorn? I did. I got popcorn. I got some M&Ms. I got, uh, they, they only had regular cola. Where did I see it?

Um, no, I had a, uh, a programmed soft drink. Oh, sure, you hacked the system. Yeah. You had the mainframe to give yourself a cherry Coke. Yeah, somehow I did it, and it gave me pineapple coke, and I was like, who the hell would drink pineapple coke? Somebody knew Finland, lobster hump, don't they have pineapple crush out there?

They do, yeah, and they're pretty vocal about it, I must say. So I went and saw weapons. Then I went and saw a movie called... Did you see the trailers for... What were the trailers before Weapons? The new hereditary? Yeah, the new, or the new, what is the one with Patrick Wilson in it? The Conjuring?

The conjuring. It was a new one of those. Oh, okay. Well, you know that the new hereditary is actually hereditary crews, and he's haunted by all the pornography. So, like, you know, me too. I'm haunted by pornography. I just can't find that one video I used to love.

What is Debbie doing? What was Debbie doing again? I want to say Denver. So, yeah, I saw weapons. I saw caught stealing. Oh, right, right, right, with Austin Butler. Yeah, and he is a very handsome guy, but in a very conventional, like he is like the A prototypical handsome guy.

There's nothing weird about his face that kind of, you know, like Adam Driver, you can't forget his face. Yeah. You wouldn't say that he's like a stock. Yeah. There's not like a, um, what if we just named like 50 handsome guys? Well, yeah. Well, Tom Hardy's lips are kind of what distinguish him.

You got to know, Wilson, he's got that funny little nose. Yeah. That movie, he's like, yeah, Awesome Butler has done, he did that and he did the bike riders and I was like these are just movies about him like kind of squinting into the camera yes there was a lot of squinting into the camera and he has great kind of Ethan hawk circa reality bites hair kind of greasy but like sits really well yeah what's the movie about um he is his neighbor is connected to a gang and the gang wants something and he accidentally has the thing that is it a modern movie is it

set in today times? Is set in today time? Oh, no, that's not true. It's set in 1998. No cell phones. Yeah, no cell phones and a pretty good soundtrack. A lot of good, you know, 90s hits.

And what? Vincent Donofrio is in it. And who else? Who's the other? There's like two rabbis that were gangster rabbis. Did they walk into a bar?

Actually, I think they do one point. Yeah, this is a movie it's playing at the local theater, that's the only reason I know it exists. The same thing, yeah. I saw, like, a poster for it on my phone.

Is it got, what's his face? Who was the Dr. What's his face? Dr. Claw? Doctor Who? Is there a Doctor Who in there? Yeah. He's, I think he's the

punk rock guy in it. Okay. And it was fine. It was fine. It wasn't like... Is there nudity? Yeah, Zoe Kravitz is topless pretty quick in the movie. Oh, well, her dad is famously bottomless. That's why I was including the film. It's in his contract. I get to show up my... My weener falls out of my pants at least once per film. In any case, the movie was fine. It's a Darren Aronovsky?

It's an Aronovsky, and I went to the 940... screening of it. So you're not even starting to jump 10. I made it, but there was a definitely there was a sensation in my body that I was like, we like, we like to be in bed, but who'd you go with?

I went with my wife Sally. Oh, hi, Sally. She saw a movie in the afternoon. Alicia and her went to Magnolia. And then... Where was that playing? VIF cinema downtown. Oh, cool.

And then Sally had to sleep before she had to take a nap before going to this 9.40. So it was like restarting her day at 9.40 p.m. Why did you make her see two movies in a day? I don't know. Oh, because it was $5. Oh, right. Oh, that's right.

Alicia was all over that $5 day. Yeah. But she didn't go. No, she, but she went to that movie the next day. Oh, God. But two movies in a day is a lot for, you know, for anybody, really. And then another movie I went to was a one out of maybe three-time screening of past guest Sean Devlin's film. Ah, a SOG. A SOG. And it was in the international village theaters.

Yeah. It's a whole town. And it was really good. This movie was really, really good. Scored by past guest Emmett Hall. Uh-huh. And a brief audio, a cameo. by Mark Chavez, playing an Australian voice.

Did you know it was him? Talley knew instantly. She was like, that's Mark Travis. It was, yeah, it was really good. It was funny. It's sad. It's all these things. And then, of course, Sean's there.

So they do question and answer, period, which to me is, I hate it. I hate question and answer time. It's less question and more monologuing. Yeah, here's some observations I have. And you know what? Not a single one. Not a single monologger, not a single one.

Yeah, it was the first time I've ever been a part of that. Oh, did Sean ever go, hey, that's a good question. Yeah, I think they did say that's a good question. And I can't remember what the question was. But because the people in the movie aren't actors. So a lot of it was like improvised dialogue and everybody was good in it. It was, yeah, a heartwarming film and shot in the Philippines. And, yeah, it was good.

It was a lot of fun to see, you know, see the guy who made the thing in the room that the thing is being shown. I mean, I saw Western movies. That's an Eastern movie. That's an Eastern movie. Yeah, classic Eastern film. I saw Sean Devlin at a baseball game a couple weeks ago with he was sitting next to Ryan Beale. Just dropping names left and right. And I was sitting on the opposite side.

But at that game, there was a guy ran on the field, not streaking, but like a guy from the audience from the crowd ran onto the field and no security stopped him. and he, like, ran to first base and then went towards second base, slid into second, and then, like, expected to be tackled by then, and he wasn't. So he got back up and were like, all right, I guess I'll keep going. And then he rounded third and then, like, slowly went home and then, like, gently tapped home plate with his foot. Did the audience love this? No, we were booing. up everyone food the whole time

and the and then he eventually like a security guard was trying to get onto the field and couldn't figure it out and the guy just walked off and like okay I'll let you escort me out of the stadium and then like a minute later two

other security guards came running we got to beat that guy up yeah and that was the night that those security guards got fired you were only supposed to do one bit of security yeah it would have been funny if it was a streaker and that had to stay out there, like,

and everybody got a real good look at them. Yeah, oh, I'm locked out here. How do I get? I can't get out. How do I get out through the dugout? We were sitting right next to where they let the, there's like a little gated door to the field where they let the sushi erasers out. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And there's a sign saying, anyone coming out of the field will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I wonder what the full extent of the law is on that. Hey, knock it up. No, you scoundrel, get out of here. You've been charged with shenanigans. But, yeah, so I was really, really knee-deep in films. I watched another other horror movie last night called,

what was it called Dangerous Game? Dangerous prey? I can't remember. It was good. What's it about? It's about a guy who's a crazy guy that, uh, He's a serial killer and uses people as bait for sharps. Oh.

Yeah, that's his kink. But the guy in it, you remember Jai Courtney? Remember him kind of like another standard handsome man? No. He was like in Terminator, one of the updates of Terminator, and he was in Suicide Squad. Wow. I just recognized the name, and he was the star of it, and he was really good. Totally do not recognize his face.

but that name does something to me. Yeah, yeah. But it was called Dangerous Animals. Dangerous animals, yeah. And it was good. It's an Aussie. It's an Aussie film. Yeah, well, they love sharks down there.

They really do. That movie really does lean on the fact there's lots of sharks in Australia. Yeah. Did you hear about a Canadian shark farmer who went down there? And what was the guy from? Australian doing with the shark? He was having sex with a shark. There was no wordplay.

It was just he was having sex with a shark. The Canadian shark farm was like, oh, that's good for you. I could never. That's, you're brave. Yeah, so, you know, a lot of movies out there, a lot of exciting things to keep you busy. Yeah, I gotta love movies.

They're kind of little stories that are, they're little stories. It's bigger than TV shows. The other movie that this director made was a movie starring Ethan Embry as a tortured artist. The Dangerous Animals guy? Yeah, yeah. He was the guy's painting hell. He doesn't know it, but he's painting hell.

And it's Ethan Embry. And a dramatic turnabout from his starring role of She's All That. No, wait. Can't hardly wait. Oh, you're right. Yeah. And he was also the base player in that thing you do. Yes, yeah.

A likable presence. Oh, man. Yeah. Likeability off the charts. Yeah. He probably, I bet you he, like, somehow makes like a movie a year that I've never heard. Oh, yeah. He's not conventionally handsome.

He's got those doe eyes. He's got those dough eyes and got kind of like dimpley cheeks. Yeah, he's got kind of a dimple. Um, well, what's say you two going to do some overhearts? You are. You know, we've been doing my brother, my brother me for 15 years. And maybe you stopped listening for a while. Maybe you never listen.

And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years. I know where this has ended up. But no. No, you would be wrong. We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing? Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works. The only NFTs I'm into are naughty, funny things, which is what we talk about on

my brother, my brother, and me. We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening. And if not, we just leave it out back to it. It's rotten. So check it out on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcast. All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show. Let's learn everything. So let's do a quick progress tech.

Have we learned about quantum physics? Yes, episode 59. We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we? Yes, we have. Same episode, actually. Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters? Episode 64. So, how close are we to learning everything? Bad news. We still haven't learned everything yet.

Oh, we're ruined! No, no, no, it's good news as well. There is still a lot to learn. Woo! I'm Dr. Ella Hubber. I'm regular Tom Lum. I'm Caroline Roper, and online. Let's learn everything.

We learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode. Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. Overheard. Overheard, a segment of the show, which usually we have three people on the show. We have a guest.

And this is a segment where you hear things. You report them here on the podcast. We would usually throw to our guests, But right now, I'm going to say, Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I do. Not really, though, because it was said to me. That's okay. Mine is also said to me, so here we go.

So when I was a kid, I remember we never had pop in the house. Like Christmas, we would have cans of Coke or whatever. Sure. But I remember sometimes my dad would have like club soda, and I would say, oh, this is a can. It looks like pop. I'll drink it. Yeah. And I would be disappointed.

It doesn't taste like anything It doesn't taste like anything It tastes a little Bad It tastes a little bit bad A little bit bad And then sometimes He would have tonic

And I would I think I only made that mistake once I would do it I would get into the tonic It'd be fine with it So bad But It's so bad

It's like Well it's medicinal Yeah And it's Queenine It's quinine It's quinine It's quinine

I think it's quinine Quine Yeah But it like you make a gin and tonic and it's unclear which is disguising the taste of which. Yeah, yeah.

Oh yeah, you got to add more gin and get rid of the tonic taste. Yeah, and I think I feel like I've had one gin and tonic in my life and the rest of the time it's just been a gin and soda or a vodka soda. Well, I saw there

someone I follow on the internet was making a drink that was like the thing they're doing in New York these days is like a long martini where you make a martini is gin or it could be vodka but in this case gin and vermouth and a little bit of olive juice and then a lot of tonic and it was I made it and I didn't like it but I bought a six pack of tonic the little ones and then Poppy my eight year old was like can I try one of these tonics and I said sure and she she took one sip of it and went Why does this exist?

Excellent question, Bobby. Yeah, I guess it's because of malaria? I guess so. Is that because of English people being in Africa? Yeah, I think they would drink that to keep the mosquitoes. I don't know exactly the way it works. And I don't think it works that well because they have like, vaccines for malaria, don't they?

Or incoculations or... But they're apparently terrible, too. Like, you have to drink... They're the terrible twos. A terrible liquid and then feel sick. Yeah, and I feel like it was my grandmother really liked them.

A tonic, gin and tonic. G&T. Or, as Billy Joel would call it, tonic and gin. Yeah. I finished watching that documentary. Oh, yeah? How does it end? Uh... With, I don't know, wife number four or something.

Okay, sure, yeah. He is, it's very funny because his, like, all of his songs are about the thing they're about. Yes. There's no, like, oh, goodbye Yellowbrick Road. What is the Yellow Rick Road in this case? It's like, nope. I was married to an uptown girl at the time. Yeah, you had to, you were such a big shot last night, was just about a bad date he went on.

Yeah. And I was riding my boat a lot more, so I did a downeaster Alexa. And I had this dream where I went to the river of dreams. And here's a bunch of news stories from the past 50 years. Yeah. My overheard is courtesy of I was ducked my head into a vintage clothes shop called F as in Frank, which is a Main Street staple. I went in

I was the only customer in the store and I walked in and the woman said hi and was like I and then she said something she pointed at something

and said like just so you know and I turned around and I was like what is she said and I just saw a bunch of what I thought

were pants and she said jorts are 50% off by definition yeah it is we're getting a short season is ending yeah they need to clear that shelf space for geez what would be a fall you know uh professor coats with the suede patches on the elbows yeah corduroy corduroy yeah um it is like the weather right now is i mean i'm not really like i want every time we reach the end of a season.

Yeah. I'm like, I want this season to end. I want to, like, you're ready for the next season. I'm ready for winter to be over so I can get back in the garden. I'm ready for spring to be over so I can surf those waves. But this, like, last few weeks of summer, it's pretty nice.

Yeah, it's, I mean, except yesterday where the smoke index was the worst in North America. Well, yeah. But just like the days where it's like, the weather, the temperature is really nice. The sun's not out super late. yeah ah i love it it's just you know that we've all everybody's been programmed to think

September fall back to school we're already in fall but you've always been a proponent of being like summer's not done yet I don't know what that I look I can't wait to stop having to wear my speed stick and get back to my natural deodorant

but you can't do it in the summer No, and, yeah, that natural deodorant doesn't hold up to the stuff test. The other thing about the Billy Joel documentary was he didn't appreciate people making fun of him crashing his car all the time. Like, he's got kind of a good sense of humor about himself, but he was like, I don't think it's funny. He's kind of knock it off, you guys. Yeah.

I wasn't drunk. I'll have you know. was he he was one of the people who produced it right was he a producer oh yeah i guess so i presume it's weird it's all access yeah it's weird to make a documentary about yourself i feel i saw kevin hart one and it was man oh man that was the dumbest document everybody in it was just talking about how great he is and i was like well you can really see the producer's intent in this documentary uh the person being kevin hart Um, gosh, you know, Kevin Hart, I, uh, I love him, but I don't understand why he's famous.

He was a stand-up first? Yeah, yeah, he was a stand-up and a very, very successful stand-up, like, within stadiums and stuff like that. And then as a movie star now. Yeah, but I feel like the whole thing with him is that he's short. I feel like that's the note that he hits in everything I've seen is he's a short guy. And fair enough. You know what? Gabriel Glaces, he's to put special out after special about him being fluffy.

He's made an entire multimillion career, multimillion dollar career out of it. Power to him, you know what I mean? Stumble upon something that works. Good for you. Well, what happened to more power to him? Sometimes I hear people say power to him. Oh, yeah, more power. Well, I think because of home improvement.

Yeah, yeah. Just the whole of a sudden he's not thinking about it anymore, you know? Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it into SBI at maximumfund.org. First up out of the gates is Brennan B from Kansas and overheard. When I was at the salon a few days ago, two little girls were playing on the floor while their parents were getting haircuts. They each had a toy horse in their hand. One girl said to the other, I'll be the mama horse and you can be the baby horse.

And the other paws looked down at the floor and whispered under her breath, can I just be a human being? Your rules of this game suck. I don't want to be a horse. Were both parents getting haircuts at the same time? I guess. Family haircuts. That is like, I mean, I guess it, I mean, if it works for your schedule.

Yeah. We're a couple. We must get her haircut at the same time. And there was, you know, they both said it to each other. getting a little shaggy, uh, you know, like just of this, uh, yeah, at the same exact time. And so they're like, well, time to go to the hair salon. Let's bring the kids. Also, where they're playing on the floor at the salon, it's like, okay. We're playing here where it's like snowing hair. Also, you know, it's that when you're a kid, you played whatever toy was

there. Whatever toy or coloring book or whatever they had set aside. Viewmaster. You just sit there and like oh this is entertainment truly like is there anything more disgusting than a pediatrician's waiting room like the whatever like blocks fit in like and the like wire thing that had the beads on it that was entertaining for i don't know 25 seconds okay what if i do one beat at a time all right that spreads it out of it there was one i think it was my dentist office that had pre Game Boy you would buy like

a game oh yeah yeah those like Tiger was yeah and they had like a motorcycle

game sure and that's oh but all the kids wanted it you know you weren't staying with it

the whole weight you didn't pass that thing around I'm not bring it into the appointment I'm gonna play burger time

uh This next one comes from Walter in northern New York. I was at my brother's house eating dinner. His son, daughter-in-law, and grandson were there too. The grandson, who's five, said to his mom, wow, this looks like a really good salad. And she said, yes, it is. And he looked back down at the plate for a second and looked at his mom and said,

do I have to eat it? I'm fine with complimenting it. I'm proud of you for making it. It looks great. It looks great. Yeah. But, you know, I've enjoyed it with my eyes. I don't need to enjoy it with the palate.

Like, you're going to leave here feeling like a million bucks because I liked your salad. Watching old episodes of Hell's Kitchen, they're big on presentation, which is nice. Having a nicely laid-out dish is nice. But I don't get it. Like, you know, people will eat slop as long as it tastes good. Well, you eat with your eyes first. Not me, mouth first eyes last

Yeah, that like, when they do They take a spoonful of whatever sauce and do a stripe across the plate Yep, the classic Maybe put some pistachios on top of a something Last, last taste When they make a salad on that show Does Gordon Ramsey go, It's raw!

Which is good Yeah, you know what? There was an episode where The waiter came back and ordered a I was going to say a Little Caesar, a Caesar salad. And he, they don't have that on the menu. The dumb waiter took down an order for a thing that doesn't even exist on the Gordon Ramsey menu. That's a freaking kitchen nightmare.

Man, that hell's chicken. I shouldn't be watching it all the time like I do, but it's really easy to turn your brain off and just have him yelling at young chefs who aren't ready to lead a brigade. He often says... Does he ever come to you in your dreams? Yeah. And he says, this, Graham, cooked perfectly. Can I tell you my weird, I guess boring dream,

but kind of interesting dream I had last night? I was at a party and there were... At this person's apartment, there were a bunch of Saturday Night Live themed things that you had to find and you had to take Polaroid pictures of them and place them. And there were three teams of us, but I was the only one doing any of the work. And I realized, like, oh, I think there's just three problem people at the party that they gave a task to.

So I had to go and find, like, oh, he had a book by Chevy Chase. I have to take a picture of that. This actually sounds like a lot of fun. Yeah. And they had this sort of like plinth in the middle of the living room that you could put, like, photos around. Oh, this actually sounds great. Yeah. It's like a really fun party game.

But it was really just for me and two other people who they were like, Abby was bringing her husband to the party. We got to give them an activity. They'll give them that wire with the beads on it. See how long that keeps them entertained. Now, just as you did a boring dream, somebody wrote in a boring dream. Okay. I thought it was a fun little bonus.

I got another overheard after, but this is the boring dream. Hello from Chicago. This is from Ashley C. I had a Dave-style boring dream. I was waiting at the bus stop by my apartment. The bus pulled up and opened its doors. As I'm about to swipe my card, I ask, is this the 80?

And he replies, no, this is the Express 9. I say, all right, I'll catch the next one then, as I stepped off the bus and continued waiting. Only in my dreams would I confuse the 80 and the 9 Express. Totally different buzzes. I do find in my dreams that the thing that, happens to me that I'm like, oh, that shouldn't be like, oh, at least this bad thing isn't happening. As soon as I have that thought, it starts happening. Yeah. Yeah. Like, whoo, really

got lucky with the nightmares tonight. Ooh. Well, but bad thing. I'm like, this is the wrong bus. Yeah. Yeah. I've gotten on the wrong bus. Oh, I've certainly gotten on the wrong train. And like, oh, the next stop. And I don't, I don't flag it right away. And then I'm fine. stops away. I'm like, I'm almost at the airport. In real life or a dream? Yeah, in real life. Okay. Because you know what? Looking at your phone really just takes you out of what you should be doing. But it's the best. It is the best. It's hard to stay away from phone.

Phone asked me last night if it, uh, if when I'm home, if it should turn off the, like, allow me to concentrate. I was like, nope. Not, we're not having that. We're having phone time all time. See, that's the one thing, is at some point, you as a father are going to have to control your daughter's phone time, and it's going to be like, but why do you get unlimited phone time? You're just going to be like, that's because I'm an adult. Yeah, because I'm damaged. Don't turn out like me. Yeah, I'm a warning.

I'm a cautionary tale. This last one comes from Jesselin and Santa Cruz, saw a bumper sticker that said, I bought this before. we knew Elon was crazy, but it was on a beat-up 20-year-old Honda Civic. That's great. That's great. That's really fun. It's using the form, turning it on its head. Yeah, it's really kind of a, I mean, I guess, yeah, we didn't know anything when I bought

this Honda Civic. I know I've told this story on the podcast before, but there was a day at high school near the end of the year where people could bring in their fancy, if they had a fancy car. and there was one guy that like made a spoiler out of wood and stuck it to the back and then like put cardboard down so it looked like it was lord and the license plate was thanks daddy that was pretty good we all had a good chuckle to read letters oh yeah I mean but you know this is show and shine day it doesn't matter uh show and shine day what a culture We're just having a barbecue. We'll show and shine on the side of that. Sure, the children from the school bring in their best car.

I think it was also parents that had cool collector cars. This is what, you were from the right side of the tracks, Graham. Yeah, I was on show and shine. The other side was just stealing our show and shine cars. Well, in addition to overheardes that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, the phone number is 1. 844-779-7631. That's one. SpyPod, one like these people have. What's up, Spy people? This is Jonathan from Los Angeles, and I have an overheard from a little while back when my daughter was four years old.

I was washing dishes, and my daughter came up to me with a blanket over her head, and she started bumping into me and saying, Ooh, I'm a scary ghost. I'm going to hurt you. And I said, oh, no, a scary ghost, how are you going to hurt me? And she said, ooh, I have a gun. All right. Thanks a lot, guys. Off I go.

Yeah. I mean, practically speaking, how does a ghost hurt you? You close your cabinets on your fingers. Yeah. Make things flat across the room. Um, those are the bigs. Is Poultergeist, I was looking up, because Halloween's coming up, I was looking up like more appropriate, uh, horror movies for kids. And Poultergeist is seemingly like, yeah, in the, in the lower range of spooky.

I don't remember it. Isn't it a Spielberg or it's maybe a Spielberg produced movie? Because I think like, it is, it is kind of wacky. There's a couple of parts in it that I think are like truly scary, but you got coach in there. So, you know, you're in good hands with. Oh, yeah, Craig D. Nelson? Craig D. Nelson, yeah. Oh, well, then, yeah, sure.

My kids love him. They're big Dauber fans as well, right? Jerry Van Dyke. These are the ones that you've got in. Yeah, they love everyone from coach. Shelly Faberge. Was that her name? All right.

Here's your next phone call, dude. Hey, Dave and Graham and guest. This is Josh in Richmond, Virginia. I was just at a Richmond Renfair event, and we heard behind us two of the guards in the Witch Trials performance talking to each other, and one of them said to the other, Yo, I just found Genghis motherfucking Khan. And I looked behind me, and there was a guy dressed as Genghis Khan.

Anyways But like The Renfair Do they have rules Can you just show up As somebody from the past You can show up as Elvis Presley

On Elvis Presley Jean-Luc Picard Yeah Like you know They're not going to deny you entry Just because you're dressed like Grogu or

Yeah But I've been to a rent fair When I was a kid And when I was a kid I thought they were super cool. I bought a do you remember the masks that were popular for a while

that were like the top half of your face? They were like paper masks and it would make you look like, you know, Queen Elizabeth or... Do you remember these things? Yeah, I guess. Like, I don't remember them being popular.

I just remember them being around and you just don't see them anymore. Yeah. like marry antoinette or a british what do you call the guards outside of sure you know what I dressed as to the renfair what stimpy ah and you know what they're like you got us on a technicality you idiot you're patter toast man come on in and your final phone call Hello, Dave, Graham, and probable guests. This is Tess Con from Berkeley, California, and I haven't overheard.

I was at a coffee shop, and I overheard two baristas talking to each other, and one of them says to the other, Hey, Veronica, how was Hawaii other than the tsunami? Off I go. How was Hawaii? Because of the tsunami. Making copy. I can't remember. recall, have you been to the islands of

Hawaii? I went in when I was nine, maybe. Maui. And was it, to your recollection, was it a fun place to go? Yeah, it was a tropical paradise, I guess? Sure. Did you get to go see, I was going to say Pearl Jam, Pearl Harbor

was. You should have said Pearl Jam, because they were the house band at the Honolulu Hilton. Um, did you remember Brent Butt went to Hawaii and, like, wanted to do all the like Hawaiian touristy, you know, cliche things. So we went to go see Don Ho, uh-huh, who sang tiny bubbles. Um, and then at one point in the set, there was like a musical interlude and he went to the side of the stage and talked on the phone, but this was before a cell phone. So it was like an old

rotary phone that was at the side of the stage. you know no i'm not busy i'm just on stage uh about to sing tiny bubbles for the second time this set i think charro had a restaurant there as well yeah that's the tracks yeah um did you ever go no um and i've always been curious spies going on the road like when they would do like regis catholic lee oh austin it's boston we So we're going to get Mark Wahlberg will be our guest

And also Benjamin Franklin impersonator He's going to come on These are the Boston treats That you can have if you're there Well, thanks everyone That's the show Yeah, we had a lot of fun Dave, this was a lot of fun

Thank you for being our guest Yeah, thank you for being our guest And do you know the last time We did an episode without a guest oh probably pre no during pandemic i got to assume because we did a couple where we're like testing out the uh yeah i mean i'm not not going to tell you during pandemic i would say we're still during pandemic judging by yes yeah that's true i took uh the other day um it is uh no it was may of 2023 oh really i don't know what uh maybe one of us was

sick that week as well. Because I, how many times did you have COVID? Once it was for sure, for sure. And then once maybe it wasn't. Like it didn't show up, but I felt bad. So I assumed that was COVID,

but you mostly just felt guilty. Yeah. I think this was maybe three for me. But it took me a long time before I got my first one. Hmm. And they's, oh, do we like if we wanted to get a vaccine. We've got to pay for it now, right?

No, no. I think... No, still free? They're still free. There should be coming out in the next month or two. Oh, and also Blue Shot season right around the corner. Yes. I get them at the same time. Yeah, I love me, some flu shot. Get them every year. Don't understand why everybody doesn't get them, but hey, you want the flu? Live your life.

Yeah. But, well, that was us, and next week we'll try to have a guest. And we'll try to be in person. Yeah. And this has been a lot of fun. Thank you everybody out there for listening. You know what? If you like this two-person dynamic, join up at maximumfund.org, get all our awesome, awesome boco. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcast of Yourself. Maximum Fun

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