Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 913 - Sophia Johnson

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Comedian Sophia Johnson returns to talk famous New Zealanders, The Lion King, and the last peaches of the summer. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 9.13 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. And with me, as always, is a man who it's so nice. to see, actually, in person after two weeks, abroad, no, a skew away, Mr. Dave Schumka.

I was a skew for two weeks. I was sort of in the, is the Kevin Smith. The skee universe? If you a skewn universe? Yeah. The Kevin Smith movies? Yep. Yeah, that's maybe, is that a very well thought out cinematic universe?

Well, it's all kind of centers around clerks. It seems to be clerks and mall rats. Yeah. And then is chasing Amy for the. Well, I guess anywhere that Sideshow Bob and Quiet Dan show up. Both variations of the same character. Sorry, Lieutenant Dan. Is it well thought out?

I don't know. I wouldn't say that. Are they in all of them? Are they in now our guest who hasn't seen a movie in her life? Yeah, this is all sounds like Jewish. But they're in. They're the ones that they're the connective tissue. Are they in dogma?

Yes. Are they in Zach and Miry make a porno? Oh, maybe not. Maybe that's not, maybe that's not canon. That was maybe a little bit sophisticated. Yeah, and he also made two weird horror movies. He made one about a walrus, and he made one about... We're talking about Kevin Smith.

Kevin Smith, New Jersey zone. The Hockey jersey tour. I like that he lost quite a tremendous amount of weight, and I still wears the same size of hockey jersey, so he looks like a little kid that you put Daddy's jersey on. Yeah. Our guest today, returning guest, to the podcast.

First time in person. Yeah, right here in person. She is recording her first special on September 27th at the review stage on Granville Island here in Vancouver, British Columbia. It's Sophia Johnson. Hello! Hello! Thank you for joining us.

She's a waving. Hello. I'm waving at the imaginary people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As I said that, I was like, are we filming? And then I was like, wait, we're not. No, but we do have to remember to take a picture at some point.

That's right. Yeah, when you come back, we'll come back for more. Or should we get to know us? Let's take a picture right now. Yeah. That's your signature move. It's going to be in your special, right? Yeah, I'm actually, because I keep watching myself back, it sets me, like, why do you do all these dumb waves and things, you know?

Because I think one of my issues or strengths, whichever way you look at it, mostly an issue, is that I am quite fidgety and movie. Like I move around a lot and kind of, and I know like when I'm acting, I've got to be aware of it. And I think with comedy too for a special, I don't want to be too. But you're not somebody who prowls the stage. You kind of, right? You're fairly stationary. No, I just stand hunched in the center. Like a spider.

Is that because you have been told, hey, stop fidgeting so much? Maybe I did, I remember, like, the first or second day when I was, the soap opera that I mentioned last time, the director. What was the name of that in New Zealand? Shortland Street. Shortland Street. Shortland Street. It's about doctors. One of the directors actually said to me, he was like, he later on, I sort of became friends in later on, he was a bit of trivia. He was on in the Hobbit as one of the dwarves. So he was just kind of like this big guy and he had sort of a gravelly voice, you know, and he, he, she, He said, Sophia, I have never in my life met another actor that moves as much as you do. And I was just terrified.

Like, I was just like, oh, no. So from then on, I was like, I think, too still. You know, because I was so, I was like. You would always be like, I don't know. Put your hands up. But I think it's just naturally how I am, how I felt, like quite a sort of. Now, in New Zealand, is it hard to meet anyone who was in. in the Hobbit and

Lord of the Rings movies? Impossible. Or the sitcom or sitcoms of opera you or what was like I don't know if I've mentioned before because people will be like oh was you know

was a lot of the New Zealand is like Lord of the Rings or are they sick of hearing about it? We're not sick of hearing about it. We love it. Like we like you everyone knows someone

that at least worked in the like the ork mask sweatshop you know? Oh sure. Or the you know because it was such a a huge, like it was such a huge employment thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was like you were either molding or your hands or you were an actor or I think the New Zealand Army played the orcs in one of the first. So lucky you guys weren't invaded at the time. Or actually, they might have won. Yeah, that's true. If the invading army was like, oh, works.

So scary. Now, a couple of weeks ago, we had a guest on the show who was moving to New Zealand. Yes. Is there a comedian exchange program going on? Yeah. Rory done. Rory done.

If you had to tell Rory... Or have you told him? Yeah, what are the things you should do that aren't Lord of the Rings connected? What would you tell him do? Like that he should touristy stuff he should do? Or just, yeah, what's the thing to do there? Did you do comedy there? Yes, yes.

I did comedy there for about five years before. So you could give him that advice. Totally. But I think like, because I think Rory's one of those dudes who's like, I'm going to figure it out. But I was like, hey, I'm happy to message to the club owner. There's only one. club in the country. What's it called?

The classic. The classic. It's called the classic. And it's a total legend. And then there is also, like I can reach out to them. I can reach out to some friends there. You know, and I think he's like, yeah, let me get settled. And I think he wants to like maybe find a place travel for a bit and then.

Yeah. But I think in terms of what I would tell him, I think a lot of Canadians I notice go to the South Island. Because of New Zealand, for those that don't know, two islands. A lot of people don't know because it's left off a lot of maps, which is hurtful. Yeah, that is hurtful. But there's, the North Island, the South Island, I think, is more similar to Canada climate-wise. Okay.

So a lot of people go to the South Island, they're like, oh, I saw these mountains, and I was like, why didn't you just stay here? Like, I went snowboard, you know, whereas the North Island is climate-wise a bit more subtropical. They have black sand beaches. Oh, nice. Yeah, and like really cool, like just like amazing trees and jungly stuff. Orks. Orks. Dorks.

Yeah. Oh, I mean. They do have dorks. A lot of dorks. One of them right here. That's why I wore this Casio watch. That's a too cool. Gigantic watch.

This is only a dork would wear this. Is this really? It's a Cassio like, let me see the face of it here. It's a referees watch. Oh, cool. So that I can like, I'm very into like, so when I'm on stage, I like stop watch prep, start, boom, look down. It's because they didn't have any women's ones, though. So I was like, I'll just get a.

But now it's just like my own. whole up. Now, yeah, this So, like, what is a referee, like a soccer referee? Footy. No, we call it soccer too. Okay.

You do? Yeah, which is weird. Like, there's some stuff we call soccer. Some stuff we call soccer. Do you guys drive on the English side of the road? We drive on the English side. Okay, but you used to call it soccer. Okay.

Contradictions all over. A lot of stuff's English. Actually, I know I'm segueing all over the place, so hopefully. That's fine. We'll stitch it together, post. together and fun. But I had almost a fight with someone. I don't know if this is going to be relevant to if there's musicians.

Are you a musicians? Are you a musician, Dave? Sure, yeah. So someone was showing me her tattoo the other night and it had a little, it was a rest. You know, it was a rest of what you guys, I found out, would call a quarter note. Yeah. And I was like, that's not a quarter note. That's a crotchet.

So it turns out like the British have a whole system And we don't even know what a cordon note is You can study like I did Royal School's music You never learn that term You never learn Do you have like 8th notes and 16th notes? No we have none of So we have crotch it or watch it or blotts

We have crotchets and then half of a crotchets a quaver And then half of a quaver is a demi It's a semi quaver And then half of a semi quaver is a demi semi quaver What's a half note? So a half note is a half note's a minimum and a whole note's a semi-breeve and a double note I guess is a brief but like does this make any sense yeah I mean I the like I play guitar but I don't

read music I used to read music when I played cello as a child but we were at each other's throats I was like it's a crotchet it was like it's a chord because to us because a crotchet but we also learn that a crotchet is one note and a quaver is half a note do you know what I mean And so it's like, it doesn't even really translate easily to that. What do you call, like, a Yamaha motorcycle over there? We call it a crotchet. We call it a crotchet. Yeah, here we go.

But, yeah, it was just, it's interesting because there's some things that, you know, like we call a pepper or a capsicum. You know, there's a couple of things. Oh, sure. Okay. Oh, yeah, we do cilantro or coriander. Yeah, coriander. There's, like, things like that.

But this was the wildest thing. It was like we, because she'd studied music all her life, her mom was a violin teacher. And the fact that, and I studied not as much as her, but like, but we just didn't even, we weren't even aware that each other's system existed. Like, it was like this moment of like, she was like, it's a quarter note. I was like, it's a crotchet, you know, like it was like. There are like some Canadianisms that are that overlap with the British things that I assume happen in New Zealand as well. Do you say napkin or serviette? We say both, I think.

Yeah, because we, like, my grandmother used to say serviette. Yeah, Serbia's like a lot losing out. Same like Chesterfield. I feel like my grandparents called it to Chesterfield. Do you know Chesterfield? No. It's couch. Oh, whoa.

Yeah, but it's like, it's. So all couches are Chesterfield? Yeah, are all Chesterfield. I think it was a brand at some point. That's when you get the brand name. Like in New Zealand, is it cling rap? Yeah. That's always glad rap, which is the brand.

Sure. Yeah. So it's stuff like that. the brand takes over. And there are different Canadianisms that, like, I feel like my family was like, Dave, in Canada, we do not say first grade. We say grade one. We say grade one.

And, like, you don't say first grade. And now my kids say first grade, second grade, and I don't care. You mean year one, as we call it? I think we're just losing that one. Yeah. And it's, well, we had a, we had a giant hit. We were both in grade nine called This Is Me and Grade Nine. Yeah.

And that really cemented. What's this? This is me in grade nine? This was a Bear Naked Ladies song. Do you know the Bear Naked Ladies? Oh, I've heard of the Bear Naked Lades. They're a Canadian band, right? They're kind of, I guess, the greatest band of all time.

Yeah, I've heard of them. If you have to, I guess so, I'm thinking of other bands. But they had a song called Grade 9. I think it came out when I was in grade 7. I feel. Oh, yeah, maybe. But we also, in Vancouver, we don't have, grade 9 is the second year of high school here. So it means a different thing.

That's true. Yeah. How did the song go? This is me a grade nine, baby. This is me a great time. But it's about being like your first year in high school. Yeah. Okay, cool.

What? Who's the biggest band in New Zealand? Oh my God. Like a New Zealand band? I mean, obviously we have the greats. We have like Lord, right? Sure. But we also have this amazing, similar to Lord of Before Lord,

called Bick Ringer, who I don't know. Do you know Bik Runger? Do you want me to sing? Yeah, please. Oh, it's such a high note. Stay who say Don't come and go Like you too

Nice Good harmonies guys Yeah Because I was talking to When Rory was here We were like Are there New Zealand people that aren't famous here Like we only know the people who left the country

Yeah They're definitely like there's definitely Like 660 is quite a famous family Oh yeah I don't know that Yeah there's definitely some Like I think Fat Freddy's Drop It was like reggae.

This is great. Yeah, more of these bands' names, please. And there was this band called Al-M-N-O-P that I didn't know was a world-famous band because they keep going to people, I keep going around and being like, do you guys know that song that goes like, Every day's a Saturday,

every night's the night like this. And they're like, no, so. But I was like, I just assumed. I was like, but there was this one New Zealand band, which I think about all the time because it was like, they were like, what's the word, like a troll band? Like they were, they're a band.

but they were like joking but then they be kind of hard in new zealand everyone's kind of a troll everyone is kind of troll everybody is a troll yeah but they were like but they became really famous and they were called deja voodoo and they would do songs like which now like like pretty unpiece these but they'd be like like their hits were like I would give you a beer but I've only got six you know like they had these yeah they're like these fun and then when like you know when meth was first becoming a big problem I was like, is this another band? When meth was blowing up, they were like, I smoke pee and I'm okay. That was like, they would do just like weird, you know. There are weird like bands that growing up, you're like, oh, this is, this band is huge. They must be huge all over the world. And then there's bands, you're like, there's no way. Yeah, and they, I knew.

My wife grew up in Switzerland, and they would see music videos for this band called Guano Apes. And they were like, white people with dreadlocks, I think. Nice. And they were like, no way, this band is that big outside. But white people with dreadlocks are still being in Europe. Like, my brother lives in Germany. I've tried to tell him to cut off his dreads. He's like, but everyone has dreads.

Like, it's like a, it's like North America. It's always 1999 in Germany. Everyone's in like the rave scene from the Matrix. The, uh, you didn't have, do you have dreads at one point? Did I do what? Did you have dreads at one point? No, I never had dreads, but dreads were huge. Like, I actually kind of do a joke on it in the special.

Like, all my first crushers were guys with dreads, you know? I'd be like, I'd be like, the government. The twins from the second Matrix. Yeah, Vanilla Ice when he put out his second album. I'd be like, the government wants him to brush his hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he won't do it. It was crazy.

But no, it was big. My best friend Lily had dreads, but she was like a cool. Even when she was 13, she was just like a cool stoner chick. You know, like, she had dreads, and I remember one time she got caught smoking weed, you know, behind one of the classrooms, by one of the teachers. And he was just like, oh, Lily, I thought you said you were just smoking on weekends. She was like, sorry, so it's hard. Yeah, it's, I don't think I knew anybody that had dreads, but I was like, they were very much on my radar being like, that would be a thing I wanted to do. Yeah, it was very...

I was discouraged, and thankfully, so... Yeah, there was no concept that it was later on going to be a cancelable... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, man, I wish I had those, you know? Yeah, but also, like, I think you need kind of a, like, a full, thick head of hair to pull off. I don't think anyone's been canceled as a white guy with dreads. I don't think that...

I'd like to see it start to happen. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Have you ever seen somebody that just has one giant dread? Oh, yeah. One dread. Well, yeah, I think that's... known guy in New Zealand.

One Dread? Oh yeah. What was this song again? One Dred? I would give you a Dread, but I've only got one. Yeah, that's it. Yep. No, there is a guy

called One Dread. He's a famous, because in New Zealand is... This is not true, is it? No, it's true. Like, I might even be able to look it up. Like, there's a... Oh, look it up right here. One Dread, New Zealand.

Because he's a famous homeless person, I think. RIP One Dread. Yeah, he died. Oh, no, he died. It's coming up on. And I'm very sad to hear that. Yeah, and it was in the New Zealand Herald, which is our biggest newspaper. R.Z. 1.1.

He died in 2024, the life and death of one dread. See, I don't just make the stuff up, guys. No, you don't. But it sounds like you are. It does. Well, that's the thing with the... Popular Auckland street figure. Who are the, like, I guess, there's no...

Canada doesn't have a famous homeless guy. No, one of our, like, our legacies in Canada is that Circus Olai was started by some street performers. Yeah, that's true. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. In Montreal. In Montreal, yeah. But it was like a couple of, I don't know, jugglers, I want to say or something.

They're street performers, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually, I used talking to some of it. You mentioned this last time about saying Busker as a. And I feel like that maybe is a slur to people who are street performers. Busker? No, I don't think so. I don't know.

I feel like Busker is like a level up. Like Busker's better than street performers? Because they have like, well, they have like the Busker Festival in New Zealand. See, but New Zealand could be calling all sorts of things That was actually one of the things that I find Like illuminating and disappointing a little bit about the Vancouver scene Is that I feel like street performers get a lot more cred in New Zealand Like they'll be like, wow, you can juggle knives

Where his hair is like, he can juggle knives, what a loser He has to juggle knives There's no like, yeah, exactly There's no Because I remember my friend who was an actor He did the thing where you paint yourself bronze right and then you're that statue guy the bronze statue and I remember thinking

I should do that that's so cool like really wanting I first time I saw it I thought it was so cool what the statue thing yeah I think I saw one in Barcelona that was a guy on the toilet and he painted the toilet bronze as well also you so much easier

you don't have to stand all day yeah that is really swear the first time when I was a kid when I saw a busker I thought it was the best thing in the world he did the thing where he's juggling bowling ball one hit him on the head, and I was like, this is good, this is good as entertainment get. Yeah, for a kid, you're like, wow, you love that. Yeah, I had an autograph from the guy.

Do you still have it? Yeah, I probably do. You do? You do. My parents' house. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah.

Did they pay, did they tip them? No, we were like, nah. Because it's like, no, of course we did. Yeah. Sometimes I take sarcasm as real. But like, it's a problem. It's the kind of thing where you don't immediately know, like, oh, this person, oh, they get paid through.

Oh, okay. I thought they were just doing this because they're insane. Which is poshly true. Yeah. Did I tell you about the, I can't remember it was you or somebody else was telling him, but the bagpipe guy at Waterfront Station. He's this guy, he wears like stilts that look, and they look like hooves, and he plays this giant, gigantic bagpipe. And he had, like, a little stand that had three different tap. It's a $1, $2, $3.

tap. I've never seen that before, but it's happening. Next level. Do you remember the, on Saturday Night Live, Rob Schneider character, who was the busker, but his songs. Oh, the singer? Yeah, and his songs were, Please give me money. I'm very hungry. And people would give them money. And he'd be like, hey, that's just the song. I'm just out here. And then wasn't he like, man in the red hat? Yeah, you would call specific people out.

This one, Rob Schneider, was at the top of his game. I disagree. I think he's getting better year by year. You can really, if you're a celebrity that has kind of, you know, kind of gone a bit obscure in the years, become a right to mouthpiece. And all of a sudden, you'll be back, Dean Kane. Who's been thinking of Dane Kane until the last couple of months? Russell Brand did it?

Oh, well, Russell Brand. He was still in the zeit guys, but he was sort of, because of all the stuff. Yeah, he went full. Because wasn't his thing that he was a hip, wasn't he a hippie for a while? He was a hippie. He was an atheist and then he was a god guy. I was sad because I was a Russell brand. Like when I was like 21, you know, and I was like.

You seem like you'd be very susceptible. I was so susceptible. To his charms. I was like, this guy's a dangerous rebel who's like fighting the system. I bet he's this close to getting dreadlocks. He's fighting the system, but his hair was kind of met by being mean to journalists He's so like he's fighting the mainstream

Now I'm like oh that one was just trying to read the news Because it was that famous clip But he's like here let me read the news And then he was like telling it like it is Before that was a thing You know How did he tell? Why was he on one of those panel shows

And then they were like interviewing him And then he's like I could do your job And then he like grabbed the mic You know and he was like There's world homelessness There's hunger like he was like He like ripped into her He's like here's what's really going on

And the government's trying to fuck over the little man But doing that, and I was just like, oh, my God, this is the coolest guy. What is he selling recently? Oh, is it like mind cream or something like that? What's the one that Pete Holmes is selling? Oh, some kind of like brain herb for your brain. Why are comedians now all such hucksters? Everybody's hucksters.

Yeah, everyone's a huckster. My problem is I search for Russell Crow. Oh, also a great search. All you have to search is just bookie-wook. Oh, Russell Crowe is selling his steak in the rabbitos. He's selling what? His steak in the rabidows? What's a rabbito?

I think they're an Australian rules football team. Oh, he's sharing it. I was like, he's selling states. That's what I thought, too. You're selling steak. Everyone's doing it. Russell Brand has a magical amulet that he's selling. I mean, I'm not not interested.

It's $240. Okay, that's pretty cheap for considering it's magic. Yeah, that is pretty cheap. Good guy. Paltrow's is 500. Yeah, and it smells like her vagina. So it should be 500.

That's how you know. Should be more. Yeah, Russell Brand, because he used to his thing, his hair was all gigantic. Yeah, gigantic and he's very tall. I saw him, I actually saw him on the street. He came to New Zealand and he did a show. And I saw him on the street and he's very

noticeable because he's like a foot taller than all us hobbits. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. The tallest guy down. I feel like we should Google his height, But it looked to me like he was like seven foot. Maybe he wears like healed boots or something. And then he has crazy hair. And he had his hair ads. And he's got this sort of disheveled.

Like I was just a drug addict in London. But now I'm fighting the system from the inside. I don't know. Yeah. This sounds like it all very much appeals. It appealed to me so much. And then when I saw him live, I was a little bit disappointed. To show this picture, does this still appeal to you?

You know what? 2004 me. He's got a vest. He's holding a MTV. I would have. been in love with him. Popcorn award. Six foot one and a half. Wow, he's not even that tall.

I felt like he was wearing platforms. I do think that something, like I imagine people as much taller than they are. And I think, oh, I could never beat up Russell Brand. But you think on Russell Crow. I am getting them mixed up a lot. Yeah, because Russell Crow would rip the average man's head off. At any height. At any height. He's just strong-looking.

Yeah, he's just strong-looking. Will. Yeah. Just will you to death. Oh, he's a gladiator. And a nice guy? Was that the movie with him and? Oh, yeah.

I liked that. I liked it, too. It took me a while to like that. I think Russell Crow is like somebody who I think was really good out of the gate, but I didn't really care about him. And then he's grown on me over time and when I see something with Russell. When did you, like, when was the moment that you were like, I like Russell Crow? There's a chance I haven't seen the movie, but Dave can jump in.

What do you want for me? Like with somebody like, oh, yes, that movie. So we're not both just silent, you know? Oh, it probably was the nice guys. Like, he was funny. Like, he realized, like, okay, he's a funny guy he's in on the joke. But also he wasn't too musley anymore. Yeah, it was him and it's him and Ryan Gosling.

Yeah. And they're like, it's from the, it's a 70. It takes place in the 70s and they're like, uh, detectives. Yeah. But they're like, bumbling. Yeah, they're bumbling. It's really good. I like bubbling detective.

Yeah. So, like, we're talking upstairs about the, you like, you drift towards the sticking it to the man. I do. But I liked, I liked to go back to Russell Crow. I know you're trying to segue away from Russell Crow. No, we can just do Russell Crow. And I think I even, like, did a joke about this on one of your shows recently, where I was like, like, I was the only person that loved Robin Hood. Oh, the Russell Crow one, yes.

Because I like Russell Crowe when he's taking himself seriously. Yeah. That's like I'm like, yeah. But I remember watching that movie, I think it was about 20. And because I love Robert Hood, right? That's like one of my favorite things. And being like, wow, this is the best movie I've ever seen. And then the next day, seeing all the reviews, just be like, this is the biggest piece of garbage.

This was a terrible movie. Like Russell Crow destroyed Robert. And I was like, I guess I guess I just like different stuff. Yeah. Do you know, I don't know, like in my brain, but I think it's just because I love Robin Hood. So seeing, like, because I love fantasy stuff and I love, like, you know, medieval stuff or like historical stuff and especially like woods stuff. So I was like, I was like, oh, Robin Hood, like, because I grew up in the forest, I always played Robin Hood. You know, I was like, Robin Hood.

Was there something when you were a kid? Because I have one that I'm thinking of that I'm like, oh, I love this. And I only found out later that grownups thought it sucked. Oh, Ernest saves Christmas. Oh, goodness hates Christmas? Saved. Yeah. No, when I was a kid, I was like, this is one of the all-time greats.

Is it Canadian? No, it's Ernest. Ernest is this character, is American character who was like, well, he's sort of a bumbling detective. That's your thing. He was a... A hillbilly kind of. Yeah, and the gag was with him, he was in a bunch of commercials.

Yeah. Where he would talk to the camera, and the camera was his friend named Vern. He was always talking, hey, Vern, this is what's going on or whatever. And he was so popular to put him in a movie And that did so well That he was in several movies And he looked like this He looked like this guy

He was wearing it Because like when was this Was he making little clips on putting them on the internet? No, this was a way in the 90s Yeah Oh And he Probably I would say

He probably had like Ten movies that were just Ernest Does this and that Yeah And you really resonated with Ernest Oh man when he saved Christmas And then I mean he was He did a similar thing with Halloween.

He got scared stupid. For me, it was Dick Tracy. Oh, wasn't that universally like? No. Oh, really? It was like, I think it was a big turkey. Oh, okay. I remember like it.

Of course, because you were a little 10-year-old. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what this is. Well, Dick Tracy was a... I love how little of these things are you know. He's sort of a, guess, a bumbling detective. Like, guys, if you combine... I know the penis sellers weren't, or he self-staffled, the murder about himself that he did.

It's, no, he's a detective, but he's like, it's from old-timey comic script from like the 40s. And then they redid it in the 90s or 1990. And it was a kid. Madonna was in it. El Pacino, Dustin Hoffman. And they're all wearing, like, crazy makeup because they're like old-timey comic book villains. Warren Beatty was You know word baby

This is great Everything you say I'm probably going to be like That's because you You were saying you When you're a kid You grew up you didn't watch any TV There's no TV

We didn't own a TV But we did have a video player A day later DVD player And we we owned a couple of movies We owned the Shakespeare films We owned because my dad found a box set And it was like When a video store was closing down, and it was like five Shakespeare's for $10 something and dad was like...

But it's like, there's a million Shakespeare movie. Well, we had, so we had Thalow, Hamlet, Titus, Taming of the Shrew, and, uh... Baslerman's Romeo and Juliet? No, that was the only fucking one. And that was like my favorite, but I watched Hamlet over and over again. Is that the Kenneth Branagh? The Kenneth Branagh. Mel Gibson also did a version.

And, well, no, we had that too. That's right. It had both Hamlet versions, Mel Gibson and Kenneth Branagh. But my dad was like, the Mel Gibson's one's rubbish, don't even bother enough. So I just like... It's only two hours. Yeah, so as a kid. And also he had an American, I tried to watch it because when you're a kid and you don't

have a lot of other videos around, you'll watch like whatever is there. Oh, yeah. So I watched that taming of the Shrew. It was like Elizabeth Taylor and like Richard Burton or something. And I watched that like probably like 20 times. Like I was like, this is the part where she says that men are better than women at the end. You know, like it was very like this crazy kind of. And we had The Private Life of Plans by David Adam Burr.

Okay. Which is an absolute. I have that memorized. That was a banger. Yeah. The Private Life of Plants. And we had Jane Austen's Emma. I really wanted Pride and Prejudice, obviously.

But we didn't mean that. It was just like always having the thing we didn't quite. Emma, is Emma clueless? Yes. Okay. And was it the Gwlett Peltro version that you had? No, God, no. It was like from like 1983 or so.

And like the guy playing the lead was like 60. And he was like, Emma, I've known you since you're a child. And I'm like, this is normal. So do you have anything? Why do I need to learn how to parallel park? Everyone has valet. Yeah, totally. As if.

But, like, was that there was no, like, current day. It was all classics. I think it was all classic. I think, like, yeah, my parents, my dad's was very into the classics. And my parents, and I think as well, like, some of the movies, I don't think. Because I remember when we watched a. Othello, I was probably six or maybe six years old, and I think dad just thought I was just going to fall asleep on his shoulder or whatever, you know, but then I think I, because I remember it. Like I remember, I remember he turned to me and tears were just like streaming and he was like, oh, she was awake and like followed the story, you know, and I think that was like, oh, no, like I should.

Who's in that? In the, in the Othello. I think it's, um, Lawrence Fish. Oh, okay, that's the one. Yeah, yeah, it was that one. Yeah, as a kid, I didn't like know the actors. Yeah, we read it in. In grade 10, and I didn't do much for maybe land.

It didn't hit? I didn't understand a word. Yeah. I remember I had to the project I handed in about Othello as I made a comic book of Othello. That's cool. Oh, I wonder where the hell that is. Do you still have that? My parents, maybe.

Othello was also a board game with the black and white pieces. Really? Oh, yeah. I've heard it called Reversey. How do you play Othello? That was like something being New Zealand reversing. Yeah. Everything's upside down here.

You basically, whatever side you are, like what you put down your piece and you're either red or what you're either white or black. Yeah. And I realized later that it was probably named Othello after the play because it's. Because he's a black guy. Because it's a lot. As they call him, the moor. Oh, yeah. And you're a blue.

Like it's a board with a bunch of squares and you put a white piece down and you try to surround a black piece or a black piece around a white piece. And then if you surround it, you flip it. You flip it. So you try to make all the All the opponent's pieces Your color Interesting I'm trying

In my brain I'm trying to think How this relates to the play Yeah I don't think I think of a lot Is I don't think of a lot is Iago Right Who Kenneth Branagh played in that

No Gilbert Godfrey played Yes in Aladdin See I love this That reference was in the Actually I do know What you're talking about I did see Aladdin

And it was a great film Yes It's fantastic But in my life I'll be like, because I remember I was saying to someone, I was like, talking about someone, and I was like, you know, they're a bit of a Niagara. And I was like, you know, and I was like, you know, and they were like, oh, from Aladdin, yeah. And I was like, okay. Good enough.

Yes. Now, are you, when you were growing up, did you have other friends that also did not, like, that only had DVD? So you were behind there. I was a full on loser and I knew, like, I was aware. I remember, like, I don't know if I started, like, just pretending stuff. And I think, like, as a young age, people would, because people would often talk about things. And my friend who lived down the road, they watched a lot of TV. So I think I saw maybe half an episode of Friends one time.

So I could kind of know Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I think I watched one episode at her play. So I knew about stuff. But I always felt like I was like, I always felt like I was kind of pretending. Because, like, Spice Girls, you had to play Spice Girls. But of course, you had to play Spice Girls. But like, you had to play Spice Girls. now you're my lover

I don't even get that reference now but I remember just like and of course I didn't have any of the Spice Girls songs or albums or there was a video there was a Spice Girls movie Spice World I think it was called I think it was you know but just trying to kind of be like

oh yeah I know I know about that you know about this like allowed to listen to. Was it all all bicarunga? It was all bickrunga. No, it wasn't so much like allowed or not allowed. It was just more like

I think that we had some tapes. I just didn't have like a like a Walkman until it later or like I just didn't have and I don't think I was really that into. I think a lot of stuff I wasn't that into but I was like I know I have to pretend to be into it. You know like I never like

when I listened to the spice goes I wasn't like oh my God this is doing something for me. You know? Like but I remember being like oh i have to pretend that it is you know like otherwise i'm going to be even less cool yeah that was already pretty down there i had a that was hard for me because i also had had to pretend to like the spice girls did you have sisters no i mean i did but they're older i pretended to like boys to men i remember all my friends were into boys to men i hated

them oh okay yeah it's weird that you sort of have you have to though yeah no you have to yeah and the Hansons? Yeah. My friend had the hand, there was... Yeah, we all had to pretend like the Hansen's. Pretend. But the Hansons, because I remember my friend, because my group of friends, it was sort of me and my neighbor and my other sort of neighbor. And there was the three Hansons, right?

Yeah. Isaac Taylor. The Hanson's three. And Zach, yeah. And it was always like, and for those that don't know, Hanson's law, Zach was like the young, cute 13-year-old. Yeah. And then Taylor was like the also. kind of hot keyboardist

and then Isaac was like the weird older brother has to be one and then it would be like you know when you're kidding and then like my friends would be like okay so like let's play again and like I'm Zach's girlfriend

and I'm Taylor's girlfriend and Sophia you're Isaac's girlfriend and I'd be like fuck why do I have to be Isaacs also I was the youngest so there was probably like a 15 year age gap

you should be Zach's girlfriend I should exactly I was like I'd be better but Zach was the drummer You know, and then I was like, well, can I at least have Taylor? Because, like, I... At least have Taylor. He's the hottest one.

Yeah, I play the keyboard. Like, you know, we could do that together. You know, when you play those shows. What was the game when you were playing? I don't even know. Like, as girls, like, it's this thing when girls play, they're just, it's just like, make-believe. And it's like, and then it's like, and we're singers too. And we're like, and we live in wherever they live, you know, which was, I don't know, southern states.

Sure. I feel like they were in the middle of nowhere. Yeah. And we love Jesus And we just sing all day I don't know So in Canada There's like a phenomenon that happens

Whenever there's like a big Like American artist They start pushing like Okay Hanson's the little brother band Well Canada's got The Moffats The Moffets Moffat Moffes

And then like That's not as cool a In Canada In the States they've got The Backstreet Boys And in sync and Canada has B444

and oh soul decision You had soul decision And the Moffits started out as street performers Yeah There you go There's a direct Crossroots

Does that happen in New Zealand as well Was there ever or Like a New Zealand version There was actually I'm glad you brought this up There was very briefly A New Zealand boy band That they put together

And it was Oh my God What was it cool And I did their music video when I was like 20 or something And it was like very I don't know if you would do it now It was I can't remember the name of the band

Weirdly but they were briefly huge Right And the song was like Soundtrack to Summer And I it's probably I think briefly huge would be a good name For a boyfriend And they were put together

And I remember You might even be able to find soundtrack to summer And I'm like So what they did is like got a bunch of us Girls from from my agency To like dress like They dressed us up as Amazonian women Yeah

Which is like, you probably find a soundtrack to summer. It's on NZ, a Kiwi Summer Chill playlist by 100% Pure New Zealand. Can you find the video? Yeah, I'm going to try to find that. I don't know. Anyway, and then so I'm in it, and I'm like, and then we all just kind of like ran around this peninsula in the sun, dressed as Amazonians. Okay. And they, and but I remember talking to the band.

I think I showed one of them a magic trick because that was what I was into at the time. This is, you're just an onion. Every layer. You're also into magic. Titanium? Yes, titanium. Like, there should be a... One of that music video was like...

It was like 2012, I think. Titanium. Wow, the album was released to 7 December 2012. Perfect. And then the soundtrack is, I think that's it. This is featuring Jupiter Project. Yes, Jupiter Project did a guest collaboration. Oh, this is it. That's me.

That's you climbing up right out of the night. See? Oh, my God. Listening to a radio on a tree? Yeah. Oh, this is exactly the type of music. Is he in the band? And Jupiter's, yeah.

That's my biggest part in it. That's pretty good. You're right out of the gate. Yeah. I can see people in New Zealand be like, oh, you're the soundtrack to Summer Girl. I don't think that ever happened to be sadly. I don't know, but I don't know if they didn't recognize me out of the...

But you don't know. There was probably somebody out there saw that video and, like, you were their big crush. You know, one can only dream. Yeah. One can only dream. And how could they, they couldn't find you, you were just a nameless Amazon in this video.

I know. New Zealanders don't, didn't use Instagram. They still don't really. Yeah, what do they have down there? Is it called Migo mingle? Something like that. Yeah, it's called Capsicam. Like, me have on pingle bongle.

But, be a bingo bongle. Everyone connect. They're like, just send me a bong. Just bonged me, dude. Just bonged me in the sheet. But I remember it was funny because I remember talking. I don't know if I should like out titania.

I don't know what's happening. I just remember like I think I I can't remember if it was like I did a different music video for the I did another music video for Jupiter's um project is still together they're dope like that they did the collaboration with okay but um I remember talking to one of the young guys from this boy band and he was telling me about his life and it was so funny because he was like well you know how it all started was I read this book called the secret oh shit I know exactly what he's talking about And he was like, and I just, like, wrote down. I was like, I want to be a lead singer and a boy band. I want to be famous. I want a tour here. And he's like, and then it happened. I mean.

And I was like, you're the only person that that's worked out for it. Proof positive. He asked for it. And he got it. Do you remember the girl group they put together on the Canadian? Oh, no. I was going to say O-Town, but it's not a... O-Town was the American one.

But it was... It was Sugar Joe's. Yes They were Yeah They maybe had a hit They had days like that Days like that

That's right And they were They were making the band I remember when days were like that You were loving me in return I love back And now you tell me that You miss that

That you feel lonely But it's like that And one of them was married to Remy Shand And Remy Shand is No idea Is a Canadian singer on Motown And how to that go.

Take a message for my love. Take a message. I like how whenever I ask how it goes. Songs are so stupid. I like how Dave doesn't even hesitate. Yeah. I'll be like, how did that go? And it's because I'm wearing headphones and I get to put my hand against my ear and go,

take a message. But you don't even say, um, and think about it. It's ready. In the music video, Remy Shand played, well, because I guess he played all the instruments on the album. So he's like his whole band and he's like, his whole band. He's like pointing to it. Oh, he's playing his own band where he's...

He's the keyboardist and the bass player. Was he wearing like a funny hat to differentiate? Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. Because that was, uh, what's his name, Andre 3,000? Yeah. They had a video where he's a bunch of guys in the video. Yeah.

You know Andre 3000. You know, hey, uh. You know, hey, uh. Oh, yes. Yeah. That's him. But I do remember in Surge Tanky and split from System of a Down, one of my favorite band. Oh, I was so sad when that happened.

And that system of Dom is my old-time favorite band. and then when search tanking split it was like good and bad because it was bad because the band was broken up good because he moved to New Zealand Peeha Beach which was quite close to me Did you ever see him? Was he as tall as Russell Brand?

Way short He was only six No, that's actually one of my like huge life because I remember when I was on the soap Some guys were like Oh we partied with search tanking this week They were like we went out to Pihar We just where he lived and we ran into him

And then I was like take me next time You know like Yeah I was like because I was such a surge, like, because when I was 11, toxicity came, and I remember I had, I met, I taped my brother's CD of toxicity onto a tape and put on my Walkman, and I would just walk around the island I was on and be like, wake up, wake up, hide the scuffs, find away the shakeup, why do you leave the keys up on the table you wanted to? Just like, angsting, like, thinking

about my crush, you know, who was such a rebel. Yeah, oh yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. What are your crush to do that was? Oh, oh, this is really adding myself. I'm like, New Zealand's going to find out. No, I did. No, my, my crush, because so school speeches at my school were, like, crazy. What are school speeches?

You know, when you, like, did you not have, like, once a year there's a speech competition? No. Some, I mean, I mean, I know that, like, people are in clubs for that, but, like, there's not, like, it's not like a big thing. Oh, okay, so, like, at out school, every year there was a speech competition. And I think, like, is it like a debate or is it just like an oral presentation? No, like you do like a five, seven minutes speech and it can be about anything. And like I remember my brother did like revolutions. You know what, we did do that.

Yeah? In elementary school, we did it in French. Concord d'Arre au retois. We didn't have. We didn't have this. You don't have this? No. We learned square dancing in my school.

That was fine for us. Yeah. That you squared. But you made the speech contest. And the whole, for the finals, the whole school got to go. Because it was like, I guess you'd call like seniors. Because my school also, because it was a small place, like when you're 11, you're basically in high school. Right.

So it's like 11 right up to 7. That's why kids are getting high in 13. Yeah, because they're like, we've already done. We've already seen this. But I remember there was a speech competition and it was like, I was 11, I got to watch it. And the finalists, they were all, you know, older, I think. And then I remember one of the guys, like, during the speech, like the end of us, he did a speech that was like, really cool like he went like crazy and like and then at the end like what does that mean well because

he started i still remember the speech he started he came on stage and he like pretended to be really nervous oh you know yeah but then he like ripped off the mask and was like i don't give a shit you know and i was like holy what a prank yeah you know like but our speech has gotten i was like i remember one like one chick got up who i love i love her so much like she was an amazing singer but she got up and she was like i was assaulted and she like talked about it and when she was like 14, like people would like, speeches were like crazy. But I remember this guy, at the end of a speech, he ripped off his shirts, who's shirtless. And this is your crash.

Yeah. Well, after this. Yeah. And then he just said like, if I fuck me, I fuck me my way. And then he like, store. You were allowed to do this at school? Well, no. So then the teachers were like, you're disqualified.

And he was like, good. Like, oh, man. And I was like, I didn't really know him, but I just remember being like, that guy's so cool. Yeah. And later on we became friends. Oh, nice. It really worked. And then, anyway, there's a whole story.

But I got to, like, kind of date my crush. Oh, nice. Later on in life. Yeah, sure. I remember they did, my school, we had, like, a history presentation at the end of the year. And everyone's was pretty boring, except these two guys. Oh, you've told me about this. Yeah, these two guys seem to, like, they brought back these people from history.

Yeah. What? And they, like, Socrates came. Oh, that's cool. And a little kid was there. The kid was certainly there. Mozart actually had just been arrested at the mall. What?

And I'm sorry, it was Beethoven. I love that this, like, we're doing a thing from a movie, and you are completely on another planet. I don't know what you guys are talking about. There was a movie called Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. This has been a theme of the show. Yeah. You guys, I feel like since I told you guys that I didn't watch a lot of movies.

I grew up, you guys have leaned harder into that. To be like, how many times can we baffle and fuddle our guest? And I'm just here like, should I have told them about my crush? No, that fresh story was fun. I believe that Bik Runga song gets played in American Pie when, I want to say. Yes, it does. When Minas Huvari and whoever she's. Oh, okay.

Losing her virginity. They're all losing their virginities. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, because they're in a boat house or something like that. And everyone would sing Bikrunger at school. They're at Stifler's mom. mom's house. Oh, when she was, when me and a sorri, I thought they were on, like, a boat, some sort of wooden house.

Well, Sistler's mom's there. No, yeah. She oversaw it all. I don't think I've seen it, but I know the book Ranga was in it. Yeah. That's what I'm like, oh my God, that's so good for us. Yeah, yeah. But people would sing drive at our school, which was a big Runga song.

Oh, okay. And everyone would play that at, like, asm. Like, girls would, and they were, like, kill it. Now the kids are probably doing Lord. They're probably doing so much Lord. That's so sweet You got to, you got to, like, date your crush Yeah, like, much later on

Like, I'd, like, Hey, I married mine. Yeah, Dave married. Your high school crush? No. Oh, yeah. College? Not, yeah, not that far after.

I've had a high hit rate, actually, with my crush. Like, because my other, like, after that I had a crush that I remember I met him at one night. And he was like, this was obviously my type at the time. He was like, you know, like, vandalizing street signs. Oh, boy, you went for the bad boy. I was like, he's so cool. Like, if only one day he would notice me.

And then I dated him for two years later on. Oh, yeah? That was a little bit older, yeah. Wow. I have a very high, like, but I was. Well, you know you're like good looking, right? Like, oh, I, the people I'm attracted to do seem to want to date me. No, but I wasn't.

Like, I was nerdy. I don't know. You're not according to that Amazon video. To titanium. That was older. That was older. But no, I was like, with that crush. That was, like, a full dream come true.

Like, I was like, I can't believe this. He's vandalizing, in my house now. Yeah. He comes over, vandalizes the fridge. He's so cool. Like, yes. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's what you like when you're, you're like a rebel, you know?

Yeah, you do. You're like, we've got to fight the system. But it's funny, like, talking to other comics about it. I love the image. I still haven't kind of been able to write, like, the best joke about it yet. But there's something about, like, you know, when you're punks and, you know, you're, But then you're on the beach And like a subtropical island

You know Like your boots and your black jeans And you're like Fuck Staring at like the sunset Yeah Yeah The most beautiful place

Yeah And you're like The government's trying to keep me down They should stop it Put one dread on the dollar bill Yeah Decapitalize We're gonna protest this weekend

We need everyone on like that Yeah Yeah, wow. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Well, this weekend, I'm going to talk about something that you may never have heard of. John Sussar. My parents, a couple weeks ago, were like, hey, we'd like to take a few of the grandkids and whoever else wants to come to see the Lion King musical. I've heard of it.

Have you seen the Lion King movie? Yes. Okay. I watched it quite recently. I have not. Oh. Well, then. You've never seen it?

I've never seen... Speaking of Hamlet. Ah, absolutely. If you say so. They, I've seen the like remake they did with the live action that wasn't live action because it's all computers. But I've seen bits of the original. But I've never seen the play before. Was it good?

Well, let me tell you. Sorry. Sorry. It is. So I know the mute. I know the songs, the big four songs from Circle of Life. Circle of Life, Circle of Life for briefs. Can you feel the love tonight?

And? Hakuna Matanata. And I just can't wait to be king. Oh, yeah. Oh, bangers. I like how you were like quizzing. Yeah. Well, Graham loves it.

I love it. Oh, so you knew you were like, I got another five songs. The years and years ago, we talked with Charlie DeMeres. he and I were remembering, enjoying the Lion King. And we thought that we were much younger when we saw it. And then we found out that we were both in our teens. What year did it come out? 94, I think.

I hadn't quite reached my punk stage yet. You'll get there. You've got to start it 12. Yeah, yeah. So we went and, yeah, both my daughters, a couple of my nieces. A niece, a nephew, and my father all went, and we were, um, we, we sat down. It's, going to the theater is like, there's so many heads to look around. Yeah.

And you're quite told as well, like, it's hard for me. I'm no Russell Brand. Yeah, if you did your hair all crazy, you're sure if I had some platform booth. Um, but, uh, yeah, we went. And so, like, I'm like, you know, we're waiting for everyone to sit down and. All the people around us so we can switch seats so the kids can pick their best way to see. And then it starts and like, I've heard about it. I've seen like pictures of it.

But like there's masks and people on stilts and puppets. Yeah. And it opens and there's like an elephant comes out on stage and it's just this puppet elephant and it's huge and all these other animals, zebras. And it's incredible the first five minutes. It's great. They hold up baby Simba. Yeah. And then they play the Circle of Life.

And there's a lot of filler. There's those four songs. And then there's two hours of not those four songs. I think they tour together for a long time. Because I've heard stories of people that were in the cast for like 10 years. Like that was their life being a lemur, you know, is their career? It was huge. It was like probably the biggest musical of the 2000s.

maybe. And the guy who originated the role of Rafiki in the Broadway musical is just retiring, like, a month from now, he's done the show 9,000 times. Oh, my God. Whoa. Yeah. Because, like, you say, it was in the, like, a lot or something. Well, they do stuff, like, at a friend, like, they would, like, pass the sausage or what, like, see. Do you know what I mean by that?

Yeah, I try to play pass the sausage, but my wife's never in the mood. No. Like, you know, where they're the last. have a sausage, and the cast members will try and pass to each other during the musical where no audience is it. Oh, that's fun. Because they've just done it so much that they're like, they got to come up with, like, fun game.

Like, they can just sing whatever those song names were. Yeah. You know Okunavitana, surely. But I'm worried I'm going to say it wrong. Akunamatata. Yeah, there you say that. Yeah. But I bet you could tell me every lyric from toxicity.

I could. Which song do you want? Psycho is my favorite. Go on. Psycho. Groupie. Cocaine. Crazy.

but I didn't know what a groupie was when I was a kid So I was like, man, these groupies are crazy Really want to watch stuff? Did you think they're like grouperfish or something like that? I don't know, but I saw this move down a couple times live And like the first I just wept. I was like, this is the best thing I've ever seen. Yeah.

And then when Serge split, and he came up with that elect the dead album. Do you remember? And he had like, and then he played with the New Zealand Philharmonic Orchestra at like the town hall. Oh, wow. And I was so excited. I remember I was working, I'd moved out of home, and I was working at a law firm as, like, a clerk, and it was like, I didn't have much money, but I was like, I have to get tickets to this. And there was this guy that I thought was that I liked, mainly because he likes this to move a down.

Yeah. He was this British guy. And I was like, oh. He's kind of a rebel a little bit. He actually wasn't. But I was getting older at this point. I was 17. I was like, I was growing up.

Okay. But I was like, oh, do you want to come to System of a down with me? And he was like, yeah, I'd love to, you know, because he's British. Yeah. And I bought us tickets. and then, obviously he gave me the money for his ticket. And then we went and watched at the town hall. But it was so funny because the town halls,

I'm trying to think of what the thing in Vancouver, like quite a fancy, where they play orchestral. The Orpheum, it was kind of like that. The Queen Elizabeth. Yes, but then you've got like search tank in there. So there was like people trying to mosh. Oh, wow.

And the like bottom stalls. You know, like not on the ground part in the orchestra pit or what? I don't know, that part in the front. The mosh pit. Yeah, the mosh pit. So they were like trying to like get something going. And then there was like people. sitting up in the...

God, my theater terminology is not... I love the idea of a cellist like jumping off the stage and getting carried around. Yeah. But I was like up in the upstairs part and then I just remember just like crying because it was so good.

And then the date... I think you're pretty emotional. I guess so. You're trying a lot of stuff. Only a system of a down concert. And Othello. Oh yeah, but that's so sad. And then if I remember like date to her,

it was like, you're right that. Like I think he thought something was like actually wrong? Because I was just like, it's so good. Yeah. But it's just, I don't know. Anyway, it was a matinee. Yeah, back to this.

All kids. Oh, yeah, of course. My dad had never seen it and didn't know it. And so he, like, asked his friend, hey, you know theater, right? Do you think the Lion King would be appropriate for children? Absolutely not. And so, but yeah, I was too. Two and a half hours long.

We, that is long. We were just far enough away that, like, when there was big stuff happening on stage, it was great. Yeah. But when there wasn't big stuff happening on stage, it was like, what is, what's the point? And, like, at intermission, we went through the program, and there's three different kids who play young Simba. Yeah. In, at different performances. But, so we wanted to know which of the three kids we were seeing.

And they all have their Instagram pages, they're bingle bongle. pages on the in the program and so we looked them out and from where we were sitting we looked at three different Instagram pages and we couldn't tell which was the kid we were seeing oh they all looked so similar we just couldn't make them we just couldn't make out the face they all and like because is everybody in it in a mask or a puppet or when he's young Simba he doesn't have a mask he's just a guy he's just a guy right and then there's like a Tomon and Pumba. Yes.

They are, like, big puppets that are, like, a lot of it is sort of taking the Disney movie and making it more theatrical and making it sort of like symbolic and like a little bit more like kind of African looking lion heads. But Tumon and Pumba are like Disney characters that they just have in suits. Why not? They have to be, because they're funny. Yeah. Yeah. And then they throw in a few local references. Oh, I love that.

But, like, each place they go to? I guess so. But they've been here for a few weeks. We're lost. What is this? Kitsilano. Yay. It was.

Exactly, right? The, like, curtain comes down and one of them goes, looks like a shower curtain from Canadian tire. It's pretty good. And then someone said they were hungry. Yeah, but not for timbits. It's like they just Googled Canada. It's the thing is that it works.

Yeah. I went and saw the comedian Chris Fleming, you know, Chris Fleming. I wanted to see him. And he would throw in a local reference, not even as a punchline, and the crowd's every time. So it works. Yeah. It's a foolproof.

You can tell it. Who was talking? Who was I talking to recently that was from out of town? and they could tell, they didn't get any of the local references, but they could tell, oh, someone went to a show at Little Mountain Gallery, who was from out of town, and they could tell that these are local references because they would get a big reaction,

but they didn't understand them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I try to do that when I would go to a small town, I would try and drop a local reference. Never worked. Yeah. Never worked once. Really?

It never worked for you? No. It's because you're phony. Yeah. It's because I think a part of you, like, was a part of you being like, I'm such a hack, as you were telling it. Oh, that's every time I go on stage.

That's kind of my pep talks to myself. No, but I feel like because you're like good comedian, not to like flatter you on the, but you're such a good, you're such a good comedian that I think if your brain. And a good person. And a good person. Hey, come on you guys. I'm blushing over here. Like you're such a good writer and you're so clever.

I think if you were doing something that was just a cheap laugh, I think your brain would be like, stop it. You know, like. Well, and it's, like, you know, I would, if I went to a small town, I learned this from a documentary about Bruce Valanche. Okay. He would go to town. He would read the local paper. He would write a whole, like, 20-minute chunk just based on the town.

Of a coffee. Yeah. And, like, the town people have to know, they have to have read that newspaper, too. So if you're talking about some local thing and people like, wait on. Yeah, we're illiterate. I used to have a bit, when I did stand up, a Canadian, or Tim Horton's bit, and I, it was so hacky. Yeah, I hated it, but it killed every time. And if I'm not doing well.

If you need it, you grab it. Yeah, yeah. I've got stuff that I grab if I need, but if I was like showcasing, I wouldn't be like, eh. I would. Anyway, Lion King, check it out. Yeah. It's here for like weeks, right? I think it's almost done. Oh, okay.

That's why we were like, my dad said, hey, if we could get tickets, would you and the kids want to go? Yeah, sure. I totally forgot about it Oh shit Also when you get the tickets It like he bought the tickets online It was sold out I guess So you had to buy it through a third party

Yeah But it's officially through Ticket Master It's so confusing And then they send you the ticket by On email you click on it It says use your phone I don't know how they expect old people To be able to go anywhere

Yeah I could I needed to download two separate apps to get it. Like, the Ticketmaster app itself doesn't work because it's, there's a separate one just for theater. You need an app now for every single thing. It's like you need an app for everything. Yeah, every single thing.

It's like, you're traveling? Get the bus app. I don't like, actually. I do have a bus app. It used to be you could just like. That's on my list. I'm still using the card. But now they won't even.

The transit app is amazing. Or the radar app? No, it's just called transit. Oh, okay. It's just that it'll tell you what time your bus is actually. coming and it's delayed. The radar app

does that. Okay. It's called radar. But you used to like just email you like you can print out your ticket. You can load it onto your phone. But now it's like,

have you seen when there's like a barcode that's like moving? Yep. And you can't print that out. No. And it was at a show. Moving barcodes? Yeah.

It's like it usually shows like a picture of the thing that you're seeing and it has this barcode that's moving around. I've never seen a moving barcode. Well, I mean, welcome to the future. I got to add that to all my movie list. There was, I did a show this past Sunday, and a woman had bought fake tickets.

Oh, wow. And it's not like it was an expensive show, but she bought them on like Stubhub or whatever, but they were fake. And she had it printed out, and the guy was running, it was like, I really don't know what to do here. like, this is unheard of.

So he let her in, but... Where was this? This was at the Hollywood Theater. Oh. It was great, great place to do a show. What did you see there? Or you were doing a show. I was doing a show.

Oh, yeah. But I felt, we all felt bad for this one, but it was like, but these tickets were easy to, why would you go on Stub Hub? Why would you just go on the original? Stub, like, I find when you buy things from the Stubhub or Seat Geek or whatever, They send you to the official place. Like, you get sent to an official thing.

Yeah. Weird. Anyway. When I bought... Maybe she just faked those tickets and was like, whoop. Yeah? Someone else. Well, yeah.

And he, like, the guy who runs at Aaron, who always puts on a fantastic show. It was Joker's Canada, right? His Joker's Canada, right? Such a good show. Such a good show. And he, but he was completely like, what do I avoid this in the future? And I was like, I guess you don't. Like, I guess this is just that what are you?

You're going to do as a guy that's booking the show. You cannot let them in. Oh, yeah. I guess there's, like, things that are like event bright or whatever or like tickets tonight. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, say what you will, a ticket master. They run a tight ship.

That's true. Yeah, your show pass, et cetera. Yeah. I remember years and years ago, do you know Doug Stanhope? Yes. He was. I watched Road Dog. Is that?

Now, I don't know that. I don't know Ernest. What? You guys haven't seen Rotog? I can't believe it. There we go. You guys. Where have you guys even been?

Do you even watch comedies? What the hell? My mind is blown. You should have seen the gesturing shoes. She was moving all over the play. She was way too big for the camera. Luckily we're not, Phil. Lucky this is just radio.

These are gestures for radio. Your director would have been like, He would have been like, Sophia. How could you? I will one day play Thorin. No, he didn't play Thorin. Who did he play? Who's Thorin?

Let me look at it up. Let me look up. Oh, this was before the... This was the Hobbit. This was before the Hobbit, though. Yeah. He had not yet been into Hobbit. No, this was when he was directing.

From director to the Hobbit. He played Oin. He played Oin. He played what? Oin. So you know how there's Oin and Gloin? No, but spell Oe. O-I-N.

O-I-N. Oh, okay. O-I-N. So, like, this is, like, this is, this is the guy, because he's, well, he's pictured here with gloin. Okay. Also pictures of Gloin. Because you know how in the Hobbit they do, like, when in the book, they're like,

what's oin and gloid? Hey, by the way. Keeley and keely. No, I don't know anything about the hobbit. Okay. This guy. Yeah, that looks like he's in the right movie. Yeah.

Right. I know, I've got kicked in the gloin. Ooh. Anyway, Doug Stan. Yeah. So, Road Dogg is. There's a film recently, and Doug Stanhope plays the lead. It came out last year, and it's just like a sad old road dog comic.

Okay. Who's, like, trying to get sober. And that's, like, the whole movie. Like, it's kind of the character he played in Louis. It's like, I think they based it around that almost. Like, it's kind of that. Now, you brought up Doug Stanhope for a reason? Oh, because he was, uh, when brown paper tickets came out, he was like, he was

affiliated with them and they weren't a great ticket service. Yeah. They tried. I know. I don't know brown paper tickets, but I'm going to. stop pointing out what I don't know and just laugh a lot. I mean, it's going to be like,

ah, but men for brown paper tickets? It's just one of these, um, yeah, one of these things that's not ticket master that, where you're like, hey,

that's good. I'm glad you, you put this on event bright. Yeah. And then, uh, you know, you're getting ripped off,

right? They got no protections that event break, you know? Well, uh, I don't know, man. That was Joe Biden,

like one of Joe Biden's big things. which he needed more big things He didn't like Fees in Tickets That was like his big Like shrinkflation was one of his big things And like the more I thought about I was like Joe Biden's right

But I think he needs to pick a different issue To like champion his campaign But he was like they're putting hidden fees in tickets And we've got to stop it It is true I bought some tickets from Ticketmaster And I can't go So I sold one of them

I told my ticket and it's very weird because it's like they tell you like you resell it through ticket master and they tell you here's what people are selling them for yeah and I'm like I'll go a little lower nice yeah yeah yeah someone will buy mine first marketplace no through ticket master oh through ticket master okay and then but then they're like okay you're selling it for uh for 84 so you will get 71 dollars and then I went and looked it up and the person buying it is paying $100. Wow, that's worse than Biden even said. Yeah, I know.

That's crazy. But he really, he ate a mean ice cream pill in that job. He wore some cool sunglasses. He gave a great massage. It's a cool guy. Yeah, it was a cool guy. Probably the coolest president. I mean, he wasn't a bad ombra, like his friend just Scorpio or whatever, Slurp Dog.

I am lost. Wasn't it like, well? It was corn pop. Corn pop. He told a story to the press about when he was a kid, and there was a kid in a rival gang named Corn Pop. And, like, he just told this rambling, like, the oldest man, old story. And the press was just, like, helpless.

They couldn't interrupt. And he... I got to watch them, though. We loved corn pop. We love corn pop. So that's what's going on with me. I saw The Lion King. Pretty cool.

It's pretty cool. Like, the first five minutes, the last five minutes, incredible. There's a few other great puppet things that happen in the middle. There's like, they do some cool chases with, like, shadow puppets. Oh, fun. And then, but yeah, those, there's like, in the program it says songs by Elton John and Tim Rice. Additional songs by a bunch of people I haven't heard of. And Hans Zimmer.

Oh, really? And none of those additional songs hit with me. Yeah. Was it yet an intermish? Intermish. And sold out, like, packed. Of course. Just, I mean, so much more expensive than a movie.

And I go to movies all the time and they're never sold out. And I enjoy them more. Yeah. Yeah, that's true, man. But you get to be part of live art. Yeah. Yeah, people playing past the sausage on stage. I can see it.

I can see it several times that sausage. Yeah, look for it, guys. Look for it. What's going on with you? Well, we're in September now. the leaves are starting to turn a little bit I've seen some leaves have turned yellow already You're like looking at us

You guys have you given to check out of the three? I have seen some leaves changing colors I've even seen some red ones Yeah yeah so it's like it's on the way No brown yet but But can't be too far behind And so I realized yesterday That my shot at eating another

Summer peach gone Really? It's over for the year It's not going to be You don't think there's one scregly peach. I don't want to eat a scraggly peach.

We had we had two this has been a great summer for fur fruit for me personally. Yeah, no,

it is because last year there was no peaches because the weather conditions were so dry and they didn't grow and the figs got

the figs there was no figs yeah and like this year fig fan do love a good fig yeah that seems like

an New Zealand things. Just some figs for me please. Just plain a figs for me But I knew... They stopped you at the door.

Ah, no outside figs. Watch! Oh, at the play, there was someone trying to bring it. Like, I snuck in some snacks for my kids. Nice. And I was like, we have to be sneaky. But they, you know, they won't care. And the person in front of us had a Starbucks coffee,

and they were like, you have to drink that right now. Okay. Did they chug it? Time me. It was like an old lady. Oh, come on. I love the old lady with her drink. I know.

Peaches. And last night I had the last of the delicious ear of corn. It's corn season also closing up shop. I think you're, I mean. You think there might be some more time to get. I think we might have a couple weeks to get. You shop around. You'll get a couple good peaches.

Yeah, I really hope so. Because I had, we had two left that I just didn't touch for like five days. Me too. And they were on my counter. I find my problem is I'll buy a piece of fruit like a mango or a peach and I'm like, it's a little hard, but I'll buy it now. It'll be soft in a couple days at home and it never gets soft. It just gets wrinkly.

Like the skin just gets. So I have a fix for this, but you may already know. Okay. I don't. Well, you want to put your, if you want to ripen your counterfruit, like an avocado or something, you want to put it in with a banana because the bananas let out enzymes that ripen other fruit. Oh. So I put my avocados.

It's like sometimes I buy bananas just to ripen my other stuff, and I don't necessarily get through it. And then I got to, like, put them in the freezer. But it works. Like, my avocados, they get perfect. Ah. Like, you just want to put, like, if it's, like, still a little hard, you just want to put it in with a bunch of bananas for, like, a day or two. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry, did you say in a bag or just put it on the counter.

Like, just in the fruit bowl, you just got to have some bananas in there. An avocado, avocado, what's her, how do we say? Avocado. Yeah. I say avocado. But I'm trying to say avocado. What? I think in America, they say avicca.

Oh, I've learned the American pronunciation. And then they, but they ripen, like, they take a while sometimes, but they always get there. Yeah. But these peaches will just like. Just start to shrivel. Yeah, they'll get saggy skin before they get soft. We bought, like, a huge tray of them from Costco. Costco had these delicious, delicious peaches.

And you had to eat them fast because they all kind of ripen at the same time. No worries. Yeah. Two peaches a day. No problem. Over the sink You know it Have you ever eaten

Too much fruit And had like An issue Yes Possibly last week And do we all know What the issue was No there's different ones

Yeah Like you can break out in hives And shit Oh sure That I went to my friend She had a bag of plums Because like in plum season On the island

I grew up on There was always plum trees And we just like Walk on from the beach With bags and pick them all Yeah And then she's like Dude I messed up

I ate that whole bag of plums Now I'm breaking out on a rat It was my friend Lily, the one that got caught smoking weight I remember bad kid, bad seed that Lily I remember one weekend in high school in December My dad had bought a big box of Mandarin oranges And a dozen sesame bagels And the toilet was just

I'll never forget it Yeah, when I was a kid, my brothers and I would eat crab apples because we had, like, a tree that had crab apples. That's not yummy. No, but they were like one of the... No, they're super sour, but we're like, ooh, give me another one. Yeah. But there's only, there's a certain point the body can only handle so many crab apples before things really turn themselves inside. And also, aren't you allergic to apples?

Yeah, I found that out as an adult, sure. But so were you... So are they all a little sour and spicy? Yeah. Because I've had some good grab apples great. Oh, sure. I mean, hey, look, they were great. It was a very rich childhood.

In our backyard, we have kale. Yep. That really did great this year. And we had raspberries. And the raspberries did great in the spring. And kind of by the time the end of June, there were no more raspberries. And then today, I'm looking at the raspberry bush. Two new raspberries.

Nice. Two September raspberries. It's summer still here. Yeah, I won't. You're right. There's still two raspberries clinging. But they're new. They're not.

They're not old ones that, like, survived the summer. They just, this is new growth. Yeah. Yeah. It's not all over. But yeah, like, you know what? Just treat every peach like it's your last peach. Did you get those donut peaches?

No, not this year, but I do love that. They're shaped like a donut. They're like short and round. Like, they don't have a hole in them, but they. Where do you get them from? But they can. kind of have an indentation. Yeah, they got like a little.

Someone breed a peach with a donut? Yeah. Yeah, of some cup. Like these. They look like that. Whoa. Yeah, they do look like donuts. And they're delicious.

Don't get me wrong. But, uh, just they've just been in normal, normal, you know, interior of BC peaches. I've been having so much watermelon this summer. Oh, my God. I never really cared about watermelon in the past. But I'm a cantalope guy. You know this. Yeah, I love cantaloupe.

Do you generally like drier fruit? Drier? I find some people obsessed with wetter fruits. Like, they're like, they want the watermelons. They want, but then if you lean cantalote. No. I don't think wetness is a consideration. I just never thought that, they were that, like, sweet.

They just, like, were, they were more wet than they were sweet, and they've been so sweet. Yeah. But did you, how many watermelon do you think you ate this? Um, no, maybe like two giant, two full ones. I buy them in the quarter cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, having a big giant watermelon at home. In the fridge?

Yeah. It's again, it's a race against the clock. And you don't want to waste it. No. Well, I eat it fast because it takes up so much room in the fridge. True. So maybe I had three full ones. Nice.

Ages and ages ago, I had an overheard on the podcast where it was a family standing around is at an intersection they were standing around a watermelon that had been smashed on the ground and the dad saying to the family it was the last one so sad that's such a good

overheard yeah there's a love one I think there's a video of a woman who grew a watermelon in a yard and she's doing like the reveal and as my we're growing watermelon this year and she brings it up on the counter

She's got a giant knife And let's see how it looks inside I hope it's ready And she cuts it open And it's a pumpkin And she's about four months too early Wow This watermelon is disgusting

I would double watermelon But just the look on her face She's like So heartbroken Yeah Well I would be too Yeah Me too

But is pumpkin spice latte season Go get them Oh yeah Is that already started Started in late August. Do you guys drink pumpkin spice lattes? I mean, I'll try. I'll sample one a year.

Kind of, I have like a dip a toe in that, dip a toe and eggnog. Yeah. I love pumpkin flavor. Just to feel festive? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just get a hit. That's all I need.

I love pumpkin pie. I like, I make a pumpkin bread that I really like, but I don't do the pumpkin spice latte. And I don't do like, oh, they did a pumpkin pie blizzard, a dairy queen. Oh, yeah. Just too gooey. Yeah. I need some chunky. Yeah, but it didn't have, oh, that was a brain or shine.

They had one that was pumpkin pie and had pieces of crust. Well, now they have a mango peach one that has a mango peach pie one that has pressed in it. Oh, God damn it. Well, I can't have it. You can't have most things. Yeah, that's true. Why can you have that? Gluten.

Oh, because of the pie pieces. I think about Graham's diet quite often. I'll be on. I'm like, Graham couldn't eat any of the. I appreciate that. There's a lot. There's a lot. I forget a lot.

And growing all the time. time you know always new ones yeah um a growing list yeah of allergens exactly uh and i watched the other thing is i watched a movie last night after i ate the last what i assume cob of corn of the summer uh and i don't know if you ever do this where you see a movie and within the first shot you're like that was shot in vancouver oh yeah yeah it was literally it was a movie was it the gabby's dollhouse movie what is that it's this kid's show called gabby's dollhouse and they made a movie of it where they go to Cat Francisco and they got like shots of San Francisco

but then like you literally see a bus that says Upper Lonsdale on it. Yeah. That was yeah, this old movie from maybe the aughts Renee Zellwiger and Bradley Cooper sizzle on screen together in a movie called Case 39. I would probably quite like this. Well you wouldn't because it's terrible

but it was very very bad. It does being in Vancouver though it does kind of hold your interest a little bit yeah no the first scene like when they showed the house she lived and I was like that's a that's a Vancouver style house and then the next scene you could see a banner for Vancouver Art Gallery

but the big tip off was it supposed to be set in Oregon I was like that's Vancouver for sure if it's said in Seattle Oregon that's Vancouver time so it was fun it was fun to see all the different places and guess where you'd start watching the following the plot and you were just like oh yeah I didn't there it's one of the things like where the description of the movie

is the whole movie and so the twist is given away in the description so you're just sitting there like when are they going to figure out that the kid's the devil like what I mean I figured it out kind of in the first like two or three minutes of the movie is it a scary movie

yeah it's supposed to be spooky Case 39 doesn't sound scary well she's a social worker and this is case 39 she ends up taking home a girl with the parents tried to kill her because she was the devil. Turns out she's actually the devil. See, the thing is, in real life, it would take you a long time to figure that out. Absolutely. Yeah, you wouldn't just, like a kid wouldn't be being aware of him like, that's the devil.

Like even if a kid frost at the mouth a little, you'd be like, oh, take her to the doctor. You know, you wouldn't be like, devil, you know, unless you were. Well, at one point she tells Renee Zelliger that she's got to do everything that she asks. And the things that she wants to do as a kid, she's a giant bowl of popcorn and watches an Obie Trice video on TV. Obie Trice is a friend of Eminem. Yeah. Okay, good. Yeah, he's a pal of Eminem.

I didn't know. I didn't know that. But it just seems so random that it was Obitrice of all. I love when they have, like, well, clearly the parent company of this film studio. For what they can show. It's also the parent company of this record company. so it was very it was very dumb but it was really fun to see like all the Vancouver locations if there's a companion did you watch the whole like did you watch right

to the end oh yeah you were in it you were like okay yeah she ends up on a dock I think like I might see Main Street if I just wait did I see Main Street we definitely saw downtown we saw the art gallery posed as the as a law court um saw well the art gallery used to be the law courts oh yeah And there was a little jail in there, too, wasn't there? Oh, maybe. There's, like, an old door on the west side of it that I think was where they, like, kept people who were going on trial. Good trivia.

Yeah. Oh, I mean, sure. Look, you guys were fascinated by it. Yeah. But if there's a compendium out there of things that were shot in Vancouver, I'd love to see it. I'd love to watch all the movies that are shot in. What did I? Oh, we watched a couple years ago.

We watched some one of those, like, Morgan Free. in Ashley Judd movies. Oh, sure. Keep the sequel. There's the girls. There goes my girl. And that was a real snooze. Oh, hey.

They're in Chonnesi. Yeah, like the Arnold Schwarzenegger one called. The 13th Day? No. Yes. Is that the one at the library? Yeah. It's called the 13th Day.

Yeah. That sounds right. I don't know. Many of these. You know him. I do know him. I watched Terminator as a kid. The 13th Day is not that movie.

Oh, what was it? It's not the 13th Warrior, but the 13th Warrior... The 13th Warrior, I've seen that. Was that shot here? There's no way. That's like a medieval thing, isn't it? The one I'm thinking of. Yeah, but where did they shoot it?

That was great. I remember watching that as a kid and loving it. 13th Warrior, who's in that? Is that Antonio Bandera's not? No. Yes. I think it is. Yes. Yes. And he's like wandering around and he's like, there is one prophet and his name is Mahalo.

Like, I don't, that's all I really remember. But I remember being like, this is good. This is good. This is good. I like knights. I like battles. They shot it on Vancouver Island. Oh. You know what? Medieval. I am very excited about this.

Yeah, yeah. See? Yeah. Arnold. If it's a medieval film, I've watched. Oh, yeah? I watched William Tell the other night, which I hadn't said. I don't know how that slipped under my net. Which one's William Tell?

Who's in that? I don't actually know anything. The sixth day. The sixth day, yes. And the... And the library was like... That's less than half of the 13th century. I know.

Come on, guys. You're supposed to know movies. I know. That's why people come on the show. So we can know movies at them. Everybody, uh, enjoy every peach and every ear record. Check out Case 39. Yeah, check out any Vancouver movies you can.

Check out. The Crush starring Carrie Elway's and Alicia Silverstone. Or the last scene of the imaginarium of Dr. Parnassas that's in Vancouver. 13th Warrior, actually a banger. Their 10th Warrior. You know, I'm talking. Fear. Fear.

Oh, damn. I've seen Fear. Final Destination 3. Fear is, you know, the big scene with him and Renee. Ruther Spoon. Renee Willerspoon. Yeah. That was on the roller coaster.

We had that movie, too, actually. Have you been to the... Have you been on the roller coaster? The... At Pony? Yeah. Oh, was that that roller coaster? Yeah.

Okay, now I'm having fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just have to have seen the movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm like, these place names do...

I have a feeling that you had a big crush on that Mark Wahlberg in fear. Because he's such a... I'm such a bad boy. I think I was too young to watch that movie for sure. I just, I remember being like, wow, why is he, what's the cherry pun? I don't get it. Yeah, they wanted to rename the rollercoachers with the wild finger, but everybody thought was inappropriate.

They should have. Mark Woolbrook. I think I always found Mark Woolbrook's scary. Like, if I saw a movie when I was a kid or young and the guy played a psycho, like psycho, I went psycho with, um. Anthony Perkins? No. Vince Vaugh.

Oh, Vince Vaugh. Oh, American Psycho, sorry. Oh, with Christian Bail. Yeah. And like, everything I've seen. seeing Christian Bail and since, I'm like, there's that psycho. Do you know? Like, it's like, it just went in, obviously, like, the sign of a great actor, but it just

went in so deep. Yeah. If I found out that Christian Bail was the psycho, wouldn't be surprised. Yeah. Yeah. Whenever I see Kevin Costner, I'm like, there's Robin Hood. Yes. Right?

That was, that was another great adaptation. Yeah. Yeah. Got to go to it with my whatever grade that year was class. And Alan Rickman as the sheriff. Mm-hmm. He wrote a lot of his own dialogue in that. Did he?

Great fact There you go See, there's some fun trivia This is Should we move on to some overheard? Please. Yay!

You guys want to try and do this promo with British accents? Yeah, yeah, of course. Let's do it. Okay, if you go. Boy, bro, this is TV chef Fantasy League. Fantasy League.

Okay, Sierra. We take cooking competition shows and treat them like fantasy sports. Like a newscast. Yeah, very posh. Right. Now we're doing the Great British Bake Off or the Great British Baking show if you're listening from the U.S. Oh, that was really soothing.

You chose like a prim and proper. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, I think you have the best accent. You want to take us home? Subscribe to a TV chef fantasy league on maximum fun.org and wherever you get your podcasts. Better than my Boston one. Hi, everybody.

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Overheard. Overheard. Where you hear them? We want to hear them too. That's only fair. And we always like to start with the guests. Sophia, do you have an overheard? I do.

Yeah. As I say, I was eavesdropping a lot this week since I got the call. Some of my eavesdrops were very unfruitful. I listened to a whole conversation on a train where all they did was compare the Evo price. If they had driven to each stop they got to. She was like, $40? Oh, no. I was like, I can't use this.

But then in my building, I was, you know, in the lobby going to the elevator. And there was a girl about my age. And she sprained her arm. She was like a, you know, sore arm in a sling. And there was another guy getting in the elevator with us. And he said to her, he's like, oh, what happened to your arm? And she said, I was at Joey's drinking, and I fell off the barstle.

Embarrassing way to break. And she said, so I'm suing them. Oh. Those bar stoles are too high. Oh, okay. And then he was like, oh, can you sue people over the height of their bar stools? and she was like, yeah, they messed up. This is going to be here.

Wow. Yeah. Can you sue people when you're drunk? I don't know, but then I was thinking about it because I was like, yeah, if I fell off a bar stool, I would never be like, God, what have they done? Call my lawyer. If I fell off a barstool and I had been drinking, I'd be like, I should stop drinking. Yeah. I'm suing Budweiser.

Yeah. Like, I walked into a table on my way to stage on Saturday night and smashed a glass and I wasn't even drunk. And I wasn't like, these tables are too low. Yeah. Like, you'll be hearing from my legal represent, you know. Have you ever had a thing where you're like looking back and you're like, I could have sued. I could have sued if I. But I was too embarrassed.

Yeah, exactly. Too shy. Yeah. Yeah, I just feel like there's been things in the past. I find living well is the best revenge. New Zealanders don't sue as well. That's a North American. Like, I don't think British people really sue.

I don't think Kiwis and Aussies. like it's like something we're like do you like I've been watching movies as a kid in America they're like I'm going to sue you and I'm like you can just sue I don't even know what suing like nobody sues anyone in New Zealand that's just not like we just have accidental cover from the government or for everything right like I don't know but I know but like yeah suing is a very North American thing I agree there was a comedian it's very it's very North America it's especially American America yeah they're like I'm going to sue you I was like.

Well, that's, I hate to bring his name up. That's like Donald Trump's whole career was just suing people. And I do think it stems from not having the like social securities as well. Like, it's like, you are like, oh, man, I don't sue you. I'm screwed. Like, I think there is that tension. Yeah. There's a comedian that used to be around there, Todd Allen.

And he had a joke about being sued where he's like, that's really when I became a man because you cannot sue a check. That's a great joke. I had a great joke. and when I was in college I took a law course and one of the things was God I don't even remember it but I made my teacher laugh but it was about like

it was about having a contract with a minor and it was a real case involving Phil Collins the musician the rock star and his wife like and his wife had made he was giving child support to the child

but the ex-wife wasn't getting it and so she had made a contract with the child like it was so that she could get some of this child support and one of the kids was like oh I didn't get that he was a rock star I thought he was like a geologist like he said he was a rock star and then I was like oh that would that would

explain why he needed a contract with a minor oh my god it was going to I love a good convoluted joke. The teacher was like, hey, good one. A plus. Dave, do you have it overheard? Yeah.

Surely you must. Now, here's what's up, is I went to the Lion King. And as I was... Good Amitana means no worries for the rest of your days. Everybody now. There was a kid leaving. As we were walking out, there was a kid with like their older brother. and the kid was very annoying and like so excited and you know how a kid like takes so long to get their sentence out yeah it was that and his brother was getting annoyed and the kid was like Julian uh hey Julian did you did you like when uh Julian did you like when the hyena farted

and his older brother goes uh not really also I need to point out only Pumba farted yeah Puma that's a big so Puma does fart in the Puba farts in it, yeah. Did you lean over to the kid and be like, you're dead wrong about that? Yeah, the hyenas were frankly terrifying. Yeah. Were they? I feel like in the... Well, there's the one dumb one, right?

There's two scary ones and one's got like a, like, uh... Yeah. Graham would not. I know one of them was voiced by Whoopi Goldberg. Okay. That's, uh, anything? In the original or the remake? In the cartoon.

The original cartoon. Okay, okay. It was quite a cast. It was the kid from, uh, Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Nathan Lane was in it and Ernie Sebella was that the Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a, and James Earl Jones and Jeremy Irons and Whoopi Goldberg? Who was grown up Simba? That's a great question. I don't recall. I know, I just remember JTT was young Simba.

Robert Guillaume is Rafiki. Oh, Matthew Broderick. Oh, Matthew, and then also, Rowan Atkinson, as he plays the toucans. Zazu. Yeah, he's in charge of the, uh, yeah, what a cast. You get me? A classic, a classic film. And Moira Kelly.

Oh, really? From the cutting edge. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I get it. I think she was also in threesome. believe. Oh, yes, yeah, yeah. Or with honors, one of those college movies.

With honors was the one about a racist thing? No, or Joe Pesci's a Harvard bum. Ah, yeah, the best nation of the world, donation. This is something I haven't even seen. Yeah, I haven't seen the cutting edge with honors or threesome. But you pull it off so well. Yeah, yeah, he's... I was, I saw I watched a lot of commercials.

Yeah, me too. Graham, do you haven't over hurt? I do. I do. Um, it was at, uh, uh, a steam works, uh, a brew pub. Okay. And, um, it was on the, the patio. And like, there was nobody else on the patio except the table right next to us.

And they were loud and loud and just talking. And it was that same kind of thing. Most of the conversation was so boring. Yeah. It was just like, come on, give me something. Yeah. And then I got something. I was like, this is, this is okay.

But, uh, one of the, the women was saying to one of the guys. Oh, she just goes back and forth And she just really flip-flops on it And the guy goes, yes, the inner game of tennis The inner game of tennis That's a good line That's what my therapist calls it The Intergame of tennis

Feel free to use that as a phrase Everybody out there, Intergame of tennis This person keeps, they're so indecisive They're playing an inner game of tennis or possibly pickleball. Or ping pong. These are all back and forth games. Batman and volleyball.

Weird that there's so many of them. Yeah. Net games. I guess so. But I guess there's also a lot of like soccer and hockey are all kind of like goal games. Goal games, yeah. Basketball's the only hoop game.

Hoop game. Right? There isn't another hooping. Oh, yeah. I guess that's not a game. That's just like a circus game. I'm sure some people competing. Oh, yeah.

I bet it. I mean, there's rhythmic gymnastics, they use it. Yes. Ah, yes, rhythmic gymnastics. That has made its way over to New Zealand. Yeah, always doing gymnastics. The problem is when we do Summer Olympics, it's winter over there. It's true.

This is true. Now, we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it into SBI at maximum fun.org. and this first one comes from Mitchell in California This is Oh wait My morning runs go past the campus

Of a large military hospital I got to tell you about my morning run too If I eat too many of those oranges Crabapples My morning run goes past The campus of a large military hospital The hospital also has other amenities Like tennis courts

And as I'm running past I hear over a loud speaker from the tennis courts. If you don't win this game, you're getting deployed. It all depends on this. So really go for it, you guys. Is that a thing? Or is that just a thing that the coach said to get them going?

I was a joke. I think it was a joke. This is what I was saying. Sometimes I take stuff dead serious. But also, that's an American thing because I've never heard of anyone going past a large military hospital that had tennis courts, no less. Yeah, I don't even think we have. have our military is dressed

as orcs half of the time. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if America did have some crazy stuff where they're like, if you lose your own Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. High stakes poker game. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, it's sort of that outer game of tennis that they're playing. This next one comes to us from

Dan from Brooklyn. I'm currently amidst cubicles in Manhattan typing on a computer. Moments ago, nary a cubicle away. There was a small clutch of young professional ladies chatting about something. This is all I caught before they decided to continue conversation elsewhere.

I think that I would hate having a really hot dentist. That would be the worst case scenario. Oh, yeah. It's hard to focus. Your dentist is really hot. Do you have to focus when you're in the chair? I guess to... Yeah.

Yeah, but when I see a hot dentist, like a super hot dude, I'm like, oh, my jaw is on the floor already. like having my mouth open. I have, it's a crazy thing is like I have a dentist office, but I don't have a dentist.

It's just whoever happens to be the featuring act. It's like a hot mic of Graham's dental care. I think they're, it's like. Who wants Graham? Yeah, yeah. I think a lot of like dental offices

are just owned by companies now. Yeah. And they hire and like dentists are transient. I feel like this is bad for people. I think so too. Like everything that's happening in health care. I think this is bad. Yeah, I agree.

Although the one good benefit of it was I was being told by two dentists there that I needed a crown. And then another dentist was like, you're fine. And you went with the one that said you're fine. Of course. Yeah. I'm going with one that tells me what I want to hear. Yeah, but they also, that's money to them getting a crown. That's like a ton of money.

I'm sure we've talked about this before. But like, just the fact that it's happened to me and it's happened to many other people who are like, the dentists are like, well, maybe. Maybe every four months for you instead of really six months. Do you think they just, they lie to. I think, yeah, I think it's a money-making thing. Yeah. Because they are, they need to get those numbers up.

But I had the same dentist from childhood all the way up till, you know, first year university. And he's still a dentist. He's still added all these years later. But you just had one, back of my day, just had one dentist, stuck with him. The dentist on the island I grew up on was the richest man that any of us knew. Like, he owned like a whole. beach with like the sprawling mansion. Really?

Yeah. And I was like, man, big dentistry. Yeah, yeah. Maybe I have a crush on him now. Yeah, it's crazy. I think Chris Rock had a bit about, like, in his neighborhood, it's him, Mary J. Blige, another very famous black person. Yes, I've seen this joke.

And then some dentist. They make a lot, like a summit. And that's why they're often in the news for, like, killing. animals in safari. You know, like, there was that dentist. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, but in my mind, there's a lot of them now. You're like, it was one guy, and I'm like, it's always...

Christian Bale is a psychopath. Dentists are all big game hunters. This last one comes from Stephen, Parts Unknown. This walking from my car to the bar, man one, peeking out a door looking for his friend. He sees his friend in the distance walking away. Oh, he's leaving. Man, too, don't worry, he's just going to get ice cream with that cute British boy. Man, one, he's not British, he's from here.

Man, too, yes, I know, but he has an accent tonight. What's going on? I think he's putting on an accent to impress somebody. This is a situation I have some experience with. Well, Sophia's been doing this whole episode. This one I've been doing this whole time. I'm not actually from this. Do you hear a regular Canadian voice?

Yeah, hi guys. That's what we sound like. We love it. Do you guys won't play some hockey later? Yes Got some tin bits Yeah, we love it No, I saw this guy

That I dated when I was like 18 He messaged me Like recently Which is crazy And we didn't date for that long I didn't date for like a couple months He was cool, like my friend Eli, he won't mind if I say

But well maybe he will Too late Anyway, he messaged me And was like, hey I've been going through some stuff with a recent breakup and this girl said a whole bunch of stuff about me and I just wondered like what you're what you found when you were in a relationship with me

but in my brain I was like dude I was 18 it was like three months you know so I was like no you were awesome you know because he was awesome like and then he was like why did we break up like was it because I was putting on that fake Southern accent the whole time and I was like you weren't from the South like he was he's like I just thought it'd be hot if I because he was American and I guess I was a Kiwi so I think but he was from California but I think he was like I thought it'd be hard if I was like hey lady like I think he did like a southern little yeah and I was like oh man I've been had like and because that's a situation of like a guy in a dating situation putting on an accent yeah to get a girl or whatever I don't like I don't know if I would have liked him just as much when you said when you didn't say it was a guy who's

American, I was like, oh, maybe there are different accents on different islands. No, no, no, no. He was pretending to be Southern America. But are there? Like, can you tell us to where someone's from? The South Island has a little bit more rotic R. Like, you know how Canadian has the hard R, like hard R. Whereas Kiwis would just say hard, ah.

Whereas the South Island has a little bit of that roticity. So they will say, the roticity of our city, of our city. Hey, buddy on the world. What are, Disorder. Disorder. Disorder. I have no idea what you guys are doing, and I love it. The system of it down.

In addition to overhears, I'm going to cut you up right there before we get into the roticity of the R. Oh, you ever get a roticity check. I love it. In addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-7-9-7631. That's one. like these people have. Hello, Dave, Graham, and possible guest.

This is Heather from San Francisco, but in Anaheim, California, and I have been at a conference all week. And every session has started with the person presenting describing themselves in their outfit. So, you know, like, you know, I'm a white lady with dark hair wearing a black dress. And at the closing, like, speech that just occurred, I just came out from it. The CEO came out to introduce one of the co-founders he's retiring this year. And when said CEO came out and was introducing himself, he said, hi, I'm a white person in my 50s with salt and pepper hair. I'm wearing a gray jacket and a checkered shirt.

And then from behind me, I hear someone whisper, and no pants. All right. Off I go. Is that a thing that's happening now? Like, is it an accessibility thing for, like, if people can't see? Right. This is what I look like.

Yeah. Oh. I mean, we'll go around the room now and do it. I'm Dave, I'm kind of look like Russell Brand. Certainly height watch I'm Sophia Johnson Russell Crow And Graham Russet potato

I am husband to a murdered wife Father to a murdered son I will have my vengeance Yes Sophia is the General who became a slave The slave who became a gladiator The gladiator who defied an empire

The Spaniards the Spaniards but yeah I guess that's a thing that people are doing now it's fine with me they do it sometimes on podcast though like one podcast I listen to he'll describe the guest because he knows a lot of people listen like you know it's a just so you know it's this person yeah

if you need to know what Sophia looks like there's a titanium video she's one of the Amazon and it's because summer soundtrack to summer soundtrack to summer which is almost over no more peaches oh boy and next phone call

Hey, Dave Graham and guest. This is Russell from Anchorage, Alaska. Russell. Sending you a voice memo with an overheard. This is from the Charlotte, North Carolina airport. I was walking through, and this absolutely fabulous-looking Southern lady, literally a beehive hairdo, big dangly jewelry, everything, was talking on her phone.

And what she said was, with just like venom, she said, Lamar, Lamar. If you don't have that karaoke machine working, there is going to be hell to pay No freaking way Off I go I mean if you've put on the invitation Karaoke

You better be ready You a karaoke person Yeah I you know what song I do Yeah Graham and I do We do a duet Yeah you do Yeah we do

I love the stream What? No no we don't We do We do uh I get my hair To check what else Baby how you feeling

Feel good is hell! Nice. He also said she literally had a beehive haircut, which makes me think actual bees flying in and out of it. It's a good look. It's a good look.

If you can pull off a beehive hairdo? Do it. Hell yeah. If you can, do it. You can't teach. And here's your final phone call. Hello, Dave, Graham, and guest. This is Marcus and Fresno with an overseen that became

and overheard. The city recently put some roundabouts on a residential street to slow down traffic and I was out for a walk and I saw a woman in a very small car go into the roundabout and then continue to circle the roundabout a few times. Her windows rolled down and on the last time I heard her say, wee! I can do this all day. I can see you doing that. Yeah. You got to make your own fun. Yeah. They're not hard to figure out. Yeah, especially if you're never, like, I remember the first time going around one in

Ireland with my cousin. Oh, yeah, when they have two lanes? Yeah, it's like, how the hell do you know? And there's crazy signs pointing in all different directions, and they don't sweat it at all. I still hear, I'm like, do I give way to the left or the right? I mean, like, I'm still trying to translate. Nobody. You give way to whoever's already in the roundabout.

Yeah. And then everyone to the right, right? There is a, there is a, in New Zealand, the road code, it is like, there is a thing. Yeah. Oh. Vancouver, roundabout rules. I remember. How traffic circles work.

Let's find out. Okay. One, keep to the right and travel through. Yeah, we know that. Yeah. Or New Zealand the left in case there's any key. Right of way to any vehicle already in the intersection. If you enter the traffic circle at the same time as another driver, the vehicle to the right as the right of way.

Okay. Okay. Just remember, right, right of way. That's how we'll remember it from now on. Well, that brings us to the end of this podcast. That does. That's it. Sophia, you are recording a special.

Yes. I'm recording. Video, audio. Video and audio. Oh, they're not just going to do video. And this is going to be shown in IMAX. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it's on the 27th of September, and it's at the review stage on Granville Island in Vancouver. Yeah, I really am. I'm hoping some fans of the pod come out. I'm going to do a discount code. I was thinking I'll just call it like SPY 10. SPUI 10. Write that down.

Write that down. I'll put it in the Facebook group too. The SPY 10. And that's a 10% discount? No, you get $10 tickets. They usually 25. Oh, my gosh. That's a good deal.

For the pod, like these people, they even said hello to the guest. Like, they're getting $15 off. I don't know what the math is on that. What's the website for that? The website is Admit one community. Admit one community. Yeah, hopefully the fees are low and they're hard to rip off. You're already getting $15 off.

Yeah. And you're going to code, spy 10. You're doing a whole, this is an hour. I'm doing an hour. I'm doing like just like the kind of the best material I've written in the last like five years. But also if there was a loose theme, I'm kind of like Treasure Island coding it just a little bit. Okay. Like think like Muppets Treasure Island, but not at all.

You know, just like a little bit. I don't know what you're talking about. You don't know Treasure Island? I do, but how is your stand-up connected? Well, so I've got like palm trees on the stage. Oh, the look of it. And then I'm doing lots of stories about growing up on an island and having like a pirate as a neighbor. Like, so it's like, like inside, it's full right now, but inside the theater, it's going to be summer.

Fun. Yeah. The 27. 27. It'll be my soundtrack of summer or whatever. Oh, no. I'll be, I'll be dressed as an episode. I was only going to try not to get cancer.

Have you seen the Muppet? Muppet's Treasure Island? No. So good. Have you seen any of the Muppet, the Treasure Island movies? I probably did when I was younger. I've only seen, I've seen almost every Muppet movie, but no Treasure Island. No, Treasure Island.

I also haven't seen, oh, I saw half of Muppets from space or Muppets in Space. No, you know what? I probably haven't seen most of the Muppet movies, because I haven't seen the new ones. I haven't seen the, like, 90s ones. I've just seen Scroo. and Treasure Island. You never seen like the original Muppet movie?

Just Christmas Carol and Treasure Island. Only the classic books that have been adapted. And either the caper or Take Manhattan. Yeah,

I mean, Take Manhattan's great. They put on a Broadway show. I've seen one of them. When I was at the puppet making course at one point, it was like late,

all stayed late, and somebody put on a playlist, and it was, It was all songs for Muppet movies. I was like, guys, you're so on the nose here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice.

After all, it's only one more sleep till Christmas. Nice. Good, good. Yes. Well, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you so much for having me. If you can make it to the recording, do so. Sophia's very funny.

You got to see her on stage, doing her thing in a tropical backdrop. Yep. And thank you everybody out there for listening. Defy an Empire if you can. And come on back next week for another episode. Stop podcasting yourself. By you.