Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 914 - Ese Atawo

Episode Date: September 23, 2025

Comedian Ese Atawo returns to talk numbers, flags, and Mac Sabbath. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host. Stop podcasting yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody. And welcome to episode number 914 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark.

With me, as always, is a man who. Man, when you try to get your roof in order, it ain't no easy thing, and he knows it. It's Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, some guys are supposed to come clean the moth off the roof today, and they never showed up. Book them two months ago. Well, like cable guys. You know, like if you're home between 9 and 6. Between July 21st and September 11th.

We're recording this on September 11th. Oh, happy September 11th to you. Happy September 11th to you. we hung the trees the trees it would be fun anyway how drool how droll yes we're very funny it's good to look back

in laughter as opposed to anger yeah in laughter yes that voice you hear that is our returning guest here to the podcast improviser part of a improviser group called seasoned improv and you also teach seasoned professional improv

it's essay Oh, hello. Hi. That was a lot of time. Yeah, I'll ride that. Don't worry. I'll ride it. Hello, everyone.

Hello, essay. Hello, Essie. Thank you for joining us. Now, before, well, you know what? Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Essay? Mm-hmm.

Right before the show started, it was, I have a little clock up here. It was 4, 44, and 44 seconds. Boom. Are you a type of person? You know it, Dave. Who. has You know it

What is your affiliation with numbers? I just know What are your favorite numbers To see on the clock? On the clock I just love

The 4-4-4-4s 333-3-3? Yes Yeah 11-11? 11-11's good 1-2-3-4 Yeah

Oh that one I love That's my favorite That one reminds me Of like a mom Like a grandmother Not a mom Okay you say that And what does that mean?

We've got to know us, right? Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Sorry. Yeah, what does that mean? I don't know what it means. It just gives me comfort. I have these weird kind of connections in my brain.

And so I'm not, like, judging you. I'm not being like, wow, it's crazy. But what does it mean to you? It's just, I don't know what it means because I do have a friend who's a numerologist. Okay. And that's when they know the weather. They know, yes. Yes, but they know all the numbers.

They know one to infinity. So like, do you... Are you dealing with numerology? Is that favorite numbers? Do they know 25? Oh, do they know 25? Trust me, they know everything about 25. Do you have a lucky number?

I don't. Okay. I like numbers because I used to play soccer. So number eight, I wore, 10, I wore, two, I wore, four I wore. I just like that because I wore them. Nice even numbers. I play hockey and I, I, there's guys who are on the team that joined before me and they all have their own jerseys with their own numbers. I get whatever numbers left when I show up.

I'm like, okay, but I rather be 17 or 20. Oh, I mean, that is actually a tough one. Yeah, that is a tough one. Because 20 is like solid, but 17 is kind of exotic. Oh, got a lot of points in it, right? You're right, but 17 also feels reckless. Like you can't. Pointy.

They're so pointy. Yes. So pointy. But 20 is You're feeling those numbers Yeah But there's like no really great All-time greats who were 20

But I'm not an all-time great either Not yet But Dave is where you're working on it Well if you had your choice What number would you be? Yeah I mean my favorite player growing up Was Trevor Linden

Who were number 16 But I also don't want to be so Like everyone in this city For a couple years Being 17 That's close I know but do I want to be close? Those are going to be the opposite.

When I played defense, I was number two. Defense. They're back in the, when I was a kid, numbers meant something. Okay. And there were like, if you were a defenseman, you were, if you were a goalie, you were number one or a number in the 30s. What about zero? There's no zeros. Really?

I don't, it's rare. I feel like a mascot would wear a zero. Yeah, or a double zero. Yeah. And then a defenseman would wear like numbers between one and six or two and six. And then of the occasional like, you know, 77. Oh, geez. And then you really don't get anyone above like 27.

27 was usually a tough guy. Oh, okay. And then. Who is the tough guy that wore 27 on the Canucks? Oh, well, it was Harold Snaps for many years. Although he's not, it wasn't like a goon. And then Sergio Mosea award after that. But Dave knows numbers.

He knows all the numbers. He knows one to infinity. And then in the 90s, the European players came over, and they started wearing 13. No one ever were 13 before. Right. But you had Valerie Kaminsky, you had Matt Sundin. And then you, there were like, now it doesn't matter. Like, there's guys who the best player on the guy's where it was 43.

No one would have ever worn 43 before. Wow. Somebody back in the day loved numbers. They mapped it out. They had a numerologist. So a neurologist? Yes. Have you,

you haven't been to the numerologist. They haven't done. What did they do? I don't know. What did they do? I have a friend who's a numerologist. Yeah, it's sort of like I have a friend in finance. I don't know what he does either.

I've never sat down. All I know, because they told me that they study the numbers. And I'm like, great. Like, cool. Yeah. But then they asked my birthday's March 22nd. and 22 to 22nd is a powerful number, apparently. Okay, obviously.

I'm just like, obviously. Yeah. I'm just like, I'll just accept the positive, great. Sure. Sure. Yeah, yeah. So I just walk around just knowing that 22 school. Is it numerality they're trying to predict?

No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Let's Google it. Are they a kind of a spacey person? Are they sort of? Okay. This person is not.

They're not like a tarot card. No. Okay. They've never read, they've never read me any. But they're not into that sort of, like, psychic zodiac. Yeah. They could be. Yeah.

They could be into, like, but they're into the stars and the moons as well. Okay. Yeah. So are they, hmm, sounds a little bit like this little leprechaun. Have you met that person? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yellow stars and blue moons. Go on. I believe there were red balloons.

Yeah. And, of course, green clovers. And now they have a rainbow one. Yes, they have the rainbow one. And I remember that Lucky Charmed. made a big stink when they brought the rainbow one I bet it was hard to die those

Yeah Do you ever Or taking lucky charms I think they're disgusting They always looked scary to me Yeah And still do I never had any

I just Just out of the curiosity What How do they do it Oh my God What have I done? I don't know So that is

Oh wow The pink charms The rainbows really are Very colorful They are colorful They are colorful Yeah Pink yellow and blue

What are the Pink ones? And then the Jesus fish. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Pretty controversial when it came out. Did you refer to the non-marshmallow pieces as the wood? The wood or kibble.

That can, yeah, I see it. But I didn't, growing up, I did not like, like, big, squishy marshmallows. I liked cereal marshmallows. Dude, you are hard. Did you ever, like... Does they feel like marshmallow either you loved it or you didn't love it, but I feel like you could all be united by putting them in a campfire and cooking up a marshmallow.

I don't love them. No? I don't love them. What would be your go-to? Like if you're like, okay, I'm going to have something sweet. Oh, gummy beers. Yeah? Okay.

Interesting. Love the gummies. I'm a snackologist, and that's, I can read from it. Oh, yes, you like to do it. What does that mean? Oh, it means you're going to have a wonderful year. Amen, amen. Do you, I don't like...

You say we could all unite over the campfire. That's horrible. Oh, okay. So you're all the way down the line. But like they're burnt. Like you try to toast them nicely and not burn them. Oh, not me. I burnt them.

Okay. Then you burn them burnt. But then what do you... You're getting them all of your fingers. That's the joy of it. The outside is all crusty and it comes apart from the inside. Exactly. And there's like...

If you try to make a s'more, God forbid, you need help. It's not a single, you can't make a smore about yourself. Yeah, that's right, because somebody's got to hold it while. Yeah, but also the piping hot marshmallow is somehow not hot enough to melt the chocolate. Yeah, never melt the chocolate. That one kills me.

That one I don't get. Do you ever camp growing up? No, I never did, but it was the summer of COVID. The awesome shot. I remember it well. I know. Sean Devlin introduced me to camping and it changed my life. Really?

Oh, my God, yeah. Tell me. Tell me everything. I mean, what's to tell you? How did Sean Devlin introduce you to it? It was. Not letting you in the house. It was the summer of COVID.

Yeah. And people were just like, what the fudge? And he's like, hey, do you want to go camping? And I'm like, I've never been. Wow. And then he said, you need all these things. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to be sleeping outside. Yeah.

Do you own any of the things? I had to get all those things. Yeah. Sleeping bag. Sleeping bag. Some sort of inflatable, something. Tent. A tent.

You had to get your own tent. Yes. Wow. Okay. I did all that and we went to, would you be go to that place that everybody goes to golden ears or something like that? Oh, yeah, sure. Okay, yeah. If you say so.

Sure. Like, I've heard of it. I don't know. And it was, it was amazing. Yeah. I was just like, what is this? Really? Did you have to do the thing where you like hang up your food in a table?

tree so a bear doesn't come? We were advised to, but we, I think we all had coolers with locks and stuff like that. Oh, okay. Yeah, the bear will just steal. But some people did. I saw that. Yeah? Yeah, I saw that. I was real. I saw that. I saw that. I seen it. I saw that campaign. Hey,

would you, are you like, is that kind of a thing you're going to do? I would love to, but this summer I did not camp, which broke my heart. It's too bad. I know. All the national parks were free this year. What the fuck? Have they been the last few years or no? I don't know. I just know it was free this year because I drove through Banff.

No problem. Gratis. Was that a way to, like, get people to not visit the States? Yep. Okay. Amazing. Keep on doing that, please, thank you. Yeah.

Unless you're listening from America, then we love you. Yeah, we love you. We love you. We do. We're very worried about you. Be safe. Truly. Be safe.

Yeah, I haven't camped since I want to say high school. Really? Yeah. I know. It's such a camping culture at here, and I'm not a part of it. And do you like camping, though? Yeah, I really, I thought it was really fun. And, like, you know, you kind of, at least when I was doing it,

you just kind of got drunk over the course of the day and then put something over fire. Yeah, and that was so fun. And everything tasted so good. And I thought I would hate that. Yeah. I thought I would hate camping. I just did it because I'm like, I say, don't. be a little...

When you say everything tasted so good, all the campfire stuff? Oh, yeah, even though... Because some, like, my experience with camping was some, like, you know, weenies on the camp, but also, like, boiling water and pouring it into a little cup of noodles, and that doesn't

taste so good. We never had that, though, because also the amazing Daniel Code was there and he can cook anything. Oh, really? And so he took care of that, so it's just like, okay. Yeah. If you have somebody who can't cook, Sure.

Then, yeah, but... Yan can cook. He could. Is he still with us? I don't know. Do you recall a cooking show from the 90s, maybe? Called Yan Ken Cook. No.

Yes. Do you remember that? Yes. Yeah. He was... He wore the white chef. Yeah. No.

No, he had aprons with sayings on it. Was that Yan Ken Cook? Oh, this is a... Wait, this is a different guy. What am I thinking of? Oh, I think I think I was thinking. I'm thinking of a Canadian guy. This is an American show.

I don't know that guy. This is a PBS show. I'm thinking of a Canadian. He was the guy that did the aprons, the Canadian guy, I guess then. And he was called... No, no, no, no, no. Don't ask what my search terms were.

Oh, yeah, it's Walk with Yan. I was just the same walk with Yan. Yes. There's a different. Yan and his apron say things like walk on the wild side and walk the fudge like you would

walk the heck man it was a different time walk on by they don't do that anymore do they the teaching you how to cook a meal into the camera kind of show do they? The food network must have do they no it's very

competitions yeah this feels like something they would do if they had a five-minute cooking segment on live with Kelly and Michael. Yeah. Michael? No. Who she married to? Robert. Yeah, Mark. Kelly and Mark. They get to do everything together.

She's gone through so many. Yeah. She's kind of a black widow of morning hosts. Now, you're very famous in my house. You may not know this because my daughter's love what are they called

about the teen girl who wrote the letters to all the boys I was going to say Anne Frank Incorrect You're in the third You're in the third of the To All the Boys I love before When they go visit colleges in New York

You are the chaperone And that was shot here I'm guessing Yes it was I couldn't go to New York But it was a lot of fun It was super fun It was weird to see young fandom It was intense It was

Like were little girls come out to you And they know? Not to me No But were people like near the set Being like All the time All the time

Like they would ambush Like all the time They had Like security guards with it I couldn't say anything Really? I was picked out It was like crazy

Wow Yeah Was it fun? It was fun Because everyone was so nice and lovely And And just, it was fun seeing the crazy to be like, wow. Yeah, I don't think I've been around that kind of.

Yes. Yeah. And it was also fun because they weren't looking for me. So I was like safe in the chaos. Mm-hmm. Like, you could be one of them. Yeah, but not one of them. Yeah.

And what is the show? It's a movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. There's three movies based on three books by, same person who wrote the summer I turned pretty. Michael Greighton. Yes.

And they're about this girl. Yes. Laura Jean, who wrote these letters to a bunch of her crushes, but she never mailed them. And then her younger sister mailed them. What a bitch. And then the fallout from all those letters.

Like, I don't know if either of you have ever had, like, the suggestion of, if you're having a, you know, sad period or angry period to write a letter to whomever or whatever and not mail it but like I'd be so terrified of putting that down because it's like count down

to somebody discovering it exactly just burn it like write it and then oh write it and then burn it that's not a bad idea yeah yeah that's what camping's for it certainly was

the last weekend at high school has everybody burned their books yes yeah you went to a Fahrenheit 451 high that's true that's the temperature

at which books burn um Yeah, the, uh, how, uh, how long have you been in Vancouver acting? When did you start acting? Oh, goodness, I love it. Do you? Yeah. Here, let me ask you this, because I heard somebody say, this, an actor said, when you're

auditioning, you're not auditioning for the part, you're auditioning for another audition. Is that true? Yes, no, maybe so. Okay. I just do what I'm told. No, I'm joking. Um, um, um, I'm not. It's a hustle, it's a grind, it's long.

Yeah. And it's fun. I love it. But what was the question? Just how long you've been at it? You don't need to give me exact time, but it's, it's been. I think like over 13 years. Okay.

Yeah. Like a lot. A lot. Yeah. Yes. What was your first thing you booked? Ooh, I don't even. Ooh.

The first thing actually I booked was in Ontario and I loved. Oh. Did we know this? No. Yeah. We've talked about your Ontario, but we talked about your old job. where you used to pretend to You used to kind of bust

people selling cigarettes or minors Yeah But my first gig, I believe, was when I First Paid Acting gig was when I Do one of those Crime Re-enactment shows Oh, okay And I played

One of the suspects. I believe that I did it. I believe I read, like they gave us access to the files I'm like, I definitely killed this bitch Like, I, I did it. Oh, wow. I, but I had to, it was such a great fun experience because I'm like, I did this and I couldn't.

You don't think you actually did it, though, right? My character? No, me. No, God, no. I don't know why I would do it. Okay, so it was like a sort of a mystery thing where a crime. But they don't know if you really did it? We so, yeah, so the trial has been done.

I've been set free. You know, I was cleared from me. Right, okay, and we're going back. Yeah, they didn't even, yeah, I don't think they charged me, but I was like, major suspect to be like, I definitely did this. Right. But regardless, I was cleared of the crime. Oh, wow. And I did it, and I'm

walking free. Yeah. I feel like I know this show you're talking about. Because I feel there was a Canadian. It was a Canadian. It was called like, something 911 or something like that. It's the thing that you see the last two minutes of when another show's about to start. And you're like,

uh-huh. And then you just like, the host comes on and said she was acquitted. But, but, but We all know she did it. That was so good. Yeah. That's awesome. That was your first gig.

Yeah. Any speaking in that or just all physical? Yeah, because you have to like improvise and act those scenes where we're breaking up. They had, neighbors would argue that they would be fighting in their apartment. And then they would be like, I hate you. I'm breaking up with you. Pack your bags. Nice.

I might kill you, though. What's his name Is Still at it The guy who was hosted I'm scared of what you're about to talk about Dateline What's his name? He's like quite old at this point

Keith Morrison Keith Morrison He's still at it He's still the host in the show And like I mean he doesn't do a lot He just kind of comes in And then does a couple of softball interviews

And Yeah I like that format of show Yeah me too If date lines, if I'm in a hotel room and daylights on, that's where I'm parking. I love it. Yeah. I love.

It's like, yeah. What's your go-to when you're in a hotel? That. Really? That and all those cheap, not cheap. Why did I say cheap? Expensive. Exensive, luxurious.

Like movie of the weeks. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Yeah. Those are also good to watch. Yeah. Have you been in one?

Yes. Oh, yeah? Yeah. What was it called? The last one I remember. is, I think is Amish. Paradise. Something Amish, but it was actually really fun.

You're supposed to get that on your wedding day. Something Amish? I watched recently, for some reason, I've been trying to like... In a hotel? No. In my home. This is a home viewing. I've been trying to, like, I just kind of pick a theme of, like, I was telling you a couple

week's ago. I just watched three Western, modern Western movies. Yeah. Okay. And then, uh, recently I've been trying to like, uh, watch Harrison Ford movies that aren't Indiana Jones or Star Wars. Do you watch Air Force one? I've seen Air Force one before, but I watched a working girl. Okay. Yeah. And then speaking of Amish, I watched Witness. Witness. Ooh, this was good. I remember, I remember that one. They made us study that in film school. In Amish school. Because it was, they said, like, the perfect setup and way that the perfect movie should follow. And, like, this is where the rising action is and everything like that. So, yeah, Sydney.

What's me? Not to feel like. Yeah, Sidney Pollack. Lumet? No, C.A. Lumet. Yes. He was, he's the guy who wrote and directed it, directed at least. Anyways.

So, did you like it? I think I don't. I didn't love it. Okay. I was like, because it is kind of just like a, because I guess it is, as you, as they were teaching it to you, like, this is the perfect movie formula. You're like, oh, well, it's the formula. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does seem sort of formulaic.

Yeah. And in that sort of 80s, like cop genre. Was he, I can't remember the, it was one of those cops that had rotten milk in his fridge and, you know, was like a hard time. Old Chinese food. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't think we see his fridge, but his sister is like, pass. Eddie Lopone, maybe. Oh, nice.

They can hole up there. We mostly see the Amish people being like, oh, I'm so mad. We have to stay in regular Philadelphia. They have a couple days in the city and they hate it. Yeah. Because they're not on room to bring it. That's, you know. And so that's two.

What was the third? Oh, I haven't done a third. Oh, okay. But I think I might go with, uh, regarding Henry. Regarding Henry. Do you know regarding Henry? No. What's a Harrison Ford 80s one that I should do?

Didn't he do one with Michelle Pfeiffer? Like was some sort of murder thriller or like a sexy thriller or something? What else is what else is he done? That's what lies beneath. That's what Robert Zemeckis made in the year when Tom Cruise was or Tom Hanks was losing weight on castaway. Oh, he just squeezed in a movie in between? Yeah. Love that.

I love that. Oh, presumed innocent. I might watch Presumed Innocent. That sounds pretty good. In 1990, though, it's close enough. But Working Girl was about a secretary who's trying to, like, work her way up. Yep. That was kind of a fun genre in at its own right was climbing the corporate ladder.

Secret of My Success. Nine to Five. Wall Street. Wall Street, yeah. It was like, I just assumed that's what adults did for a living once. And that's not what they do. No. I don't know anybody who works on Wall Street.

Do you? I did. I guess we don't talk anymore because of life, but yeah, I guess. Sure, yeah. I know of a person. Yeah, I do feel like there's a lot of movies in that genre that I never saw, but I saw the cover of the tape at the video store. And it was scandalous?

No, I'm thinking of like 9 to 5. Is 9 to 5 Dolly Parton and Lily Tomlin? Then I get Lily Tomlin and Bet Midler from Big Business. Oh, I get that mixed up. Oh, sure. They're like twins? Two sets of twins? Oh, my God.

Sorry, listeners. What's the movie with, oh, what's his name? And he dresses like a woman. Oh, Tutsi. Yeah. Tutsi. Yeah. I haven't seen that for.

That's more about climbing the soap opera ladder. And is Bill Murray in that? Who's in it that's. Dustin Hoffman? Yeah. No, but who's his pal? Oh, who's his pal? Well, Dustin Hoffman is Tootsie.

He's Tutsi, and then Tutsi's friend who kind of... Speaking of movies that they show you, that's like considered one of the greatest comedies of all time, and I don't know if it holds up. Tutsi. Great cover. Different Sydney, Sidney Pollock, and then Bill Murray, you're right. And Jessica Lang and Terry Gar and Gina Davis. What a cast.

What a cast. Do you like watching older movies, newer movies, movies? What's your schedule? Or no movies at all? Kind of like that. I wasn't raised to enjoy life. I'm joking. I was. Um, I was. More of a date line thing. Yes. Movies weren't really a thing that we did. So I pretty much watched what like was popular and what everybody. Have you seen that movie? Yeah. But like, yeah. What did you guys do instead of watching movies? Sports. Oh, yeah. Sure. Tons of sports. Were you an athlete? Yeah.

What did you do? What number? What was it? Oh, yeah, what number? Well, soccer. You said a bunch, but, like, what was your, what spoke to you? I think because I was born in the year 84, so I liked anything with four and then eight. Yeah.

Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah. Four times two is eight. It's good. It's very good. It's got a good flow to it. So you should have been here when it was 444 or 444.

I was. Oh, right. I was. And I am like checking the time. Yeah. Yeah. I just looked at the time of it. Is 555 and 55 seconds going to be important to you?

Well, apparently, they're angel numbers, I believe. I've heard that term as well. Exactly. But then it's like, just, isn't that cool? Yeah, I love it. Yeah. So, soccer. Soccer, and then track.

Track, okay. I think we've learned all this. So just, I mean, we, I don't remember either. Yeah. But the listeners are going to be like, these guys don't remember anything. Wow. um soccer and then track 100 200 what was your um high jump that one's scary you're going out with that pole no high that high jump is no no

paul vault oh paulvolta i can never jump it's a phosphory flop jumping over a bar okay okay yeah um did you so did you play soccer yes do you still no i tore my achilles a few years ago, so I haven't really gone... I mean, I haven't played sports even before I tore my Achilles, but... What is your, like... Because I played soccer as a kid, and then I stopped. And then I tried to play a few years

later, and they changed the shoes. Oh, no more cleats? Well, no, cleats were... Well, no more, the... Did you have the kinds you had to screw in? Yeah. And then they got rid of those. Okay. Is it just now pure spikes? Well, they're, like, built into the shoes. But, like,

I remember... We used to have to line up. Yeah. And at the start of every game, because you had, your cleats would get worn out. And then there was a screw inside them. And if there was metal showing, the referee would examine everyone's cleats. Oh, we weren't like that. Okay.

Oh, me neither. We weren't expected like that. I think I was just, I never moved beyond just kid soccer. I didn't go to, like, teen or mid-teen or any of that kind of stuff. I just hated it. From the jump, I hated it. But it was like Saturday morning, you're getting up and you're going to play soccer. And it's like, no, but they're TV.

Don't you know about TV? Yeah. What the hell? Was your whole family athletic? Yes. That's my family is also very athletic. Yeah, all of us. Minus one.

Like who, what were the other family members? Yeah. My sister, my older sister was really great at shop pudding and she is awesome. And but she just was like, I don't want any of this. I'm done. Retiring a champ Did Canada win the shot put in the Olympics last year? Or was it the hammer throw maybe?

I think it was the hammer throw And it was a dude with a cool mustache and a wallet But I think they won men's and women's Hey, all right, look at us Oh, whatever the Sorry, sorry Fields Track is really kind of Overshadowing you

But she was like, I'm done My older brother was a sprinter He was really, really fast You like that in a sprinter. Yes. And he, yes, it was very, very past. And then my eye was also a sprinter and a jumper. Okay.

Sprinting is so hard. It is, but it's not. It's over soon. It's over soon. It is over soon. But once you know your rhythm, you're done. Yeah. You just feel, it's just.

Yeah, what, like, I feel like, I used to sprint when I was a galloping version. It's pretty much it. In elementary school. I was the fastest kid in my elementary school. But I, oh my God, long distance running is so much harder. That's the thing. Long distance is so much harder. It's boring and it hurts.

Yeah. And it's all mental. Yeah. And like you're nowhere near water or anything. Unless you're carrying a bottle with you. So like, where do you move for water? Oh, you're nowhere near water. I know what you mean.

Oh, you mean like not near a lake? Yeah. Or, like, I was picturing you, like, having some kind of water madness, like, like, rabies or whatever. Yeah, I remember going to attract meet when I was in high school or junior eye, and, like, our guy that was the fastest, like, we were like, watch this guy. He's going to dominate. And this kid from another school, he was so fat. It was like lightning. It was unbelievable how fast he was.

I remember in grade six, we did a track meet with the city as well. And I was like, I was a sprinter and I went and I... You're the fastest kid in the school. I was good in the school in my grade. And then I got third in my heat. And so I didn't advance. How did you feel? Because it was a sprint and I did one, I was like, well, also like, I was just wearing like sneakers.

other kids were in like spikes oh sure yeah and I had no idea that was an option but I was like that's it I'm I ran for 15 seconds and we're done yeah that's the whole trip go home and then I remember I wrote like she's losing it I wrote we had to write like a journal that you're in our class every day every day you write a thing and the teacher like writes a little comment on it and I was like yeah the yesterday I went to the track meet

I came in third in my heat and blah blah and my teacher wrote hey congratulations on third place and I was so like you fucking idiot

you think that's good yeah oh she's just trying to be encouraging to a little sprinter no oh gosh yeah wow wow wow wow

wow wow um Dave what's going on with you man speedwise oh speedwise well So I've got these crazy dogs Yes, two

To crazy dogs And they're just like the worst They're beautiful They're beautiful and wonderful I love them But they are a nightmare to walk Especially like The like the first block of the walk

They are They're just like They're reactive Okay And I'm not a good owner I can't train it out of them And so But one day

this summer, it was after dinner and I was about to take them for a walk. It was still a little hot out. And I was like, uh, you know what? It's okay. The dogs will be okay. I'm a little hot. But, but, uh, it's time to take them for a walk. It was like 7 o'clock.

I look out the window. There's a family of people outside. Oh, no, I didn't look out the window. I opened the door with the dogs and there's a family of people outside and the dogs just started going crazy. And I was like, oh, oh, I'm going back in. side, closed the door, and oh, I also had like forgotten poop bags. I needed to get

poop bags or my headphones or something. I came back in the house. You don't have to mess this up, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I came back in the house and then I was like, okay, well, let's see. And the family that was outside was so slow moving. And they finally

got past the yard and they, so I was like, okay, the dogs are insane already. Yeah. And, but I'll just, I'll go out now, I'll go out slowly, and I walked out, and who walked right in front of the house? S.A. Atawa. Hello, neighbor.

And my dogs immediately went insane. But it looked cool. It really did. It really did. I was telling Graham earlier that it looked like you were like a lord or something. Two dogs, one per hand, and they were whiling out, but you were just like, this dog. but it made me feel like and I immediately was like

I get dog right now I felt like I was super rude and then I had to like walk them up the street and I was like oh god it hates me no I was like it looks cool

but then I had to like cross the street because though that slow moving family was still there was like gonna walk on the other side I am within like half a block I'm pouring sweat down and then We get to the end of the block. My dogs are insane.

And as soon as we turn off the block, the dogs are fine. They just kind of want to protect the block. Sure. Yeah. Absolutely. That is adorable. I've, like, just picturing the slow family. Like, I was behind a slow family going down a set of stairs.

I was like, man, you guys should wait until everybody's down the stairs. You're going to be this slow about it. Yeah, man. It was like three generations. Oh, sure. They're bonding, you know? Yeah, so I won't take your time. They're bonn't.

And then, so the other thing that I thought I would talk about was we mentioned camping. This summer. Do the Schumka's camp? Okay, this is a classic story. Get your popcorn. Abby, my wife, early in our relationship was saying, had an idea of like, oh, maybe David and I can go camping this year. We don't have any camping stuff, but we'll get some gear and go camping.

and she said it to my mother and my mother was like, oh, Abby, Shumka's don't camp. Oh, I hope your mother was drinking tea. Well, she does camp is the thing. I think she's saying she'd, maybe she's not a true Shumka.

She's not. Oh, sure, yeah. But this summer, my in-laws, Abby's parents on Gabriola Island, where they live, they, well,

first of all, they always put up a flag for whoever's visiting So we have Swedish family who come visit They put up The Swedish flag

They put up They like Try to figure out Like they already have The BC flag Which is where I'm from So they're like Is there a city of Vancouver flag

There is Yeah there is Yeah But what they did is They just got to print out Of our two dogs And they like went to A flag making

That is really Amazing That is amazing That is amazing And it was so fun. Whipping in the wind. Oh, my Lord. I would love to go and give them just the description of me.

Go wild. Yeah, exactly. Make my own flag. Yes, that is so adorable. It was this, right there. Oh, my God. Oh, that's so good. Isn't it good?

It's so good. What's your favorite flag? I don't have one. Okay. You're a number person, not a flag person. I'm a number. I mean, I'll wrap my country's flag. I enjoy all the way.

but I'm not like, what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, by design, you mean? Yeah, I don't know. I think, do you remember, or maybe they weren't everywhere, but as it was younger,

there was a shirt called Mondetta. Yeah. And they had a flag. It said Mondetta, and then there was a picture of like, whatever. It was like a some kind of, like, it felt like a very international brand.

Yes. Like very, um, and like all the kids would get one from whatever their parents or grandparents parents were. All the parents. Yeah. Like that?

Yeah, like that. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was like, they were like so popular at the time. Yeah, those are the ones I remember. A spirit of unification. Yeah, I wonder where that. I didn't have, I had an Irish one.

Had the orange and white and green. For me, it's got to be Japan. Big red circle. Classic. Well done. Red. Do you like red? Is that your cat?

No, not really. It's just a good design, though, right? Yeah. I mean, I think Canada's flag kind of rocks. Yeah, that's a good look of flag. Brazilian flag is really good. It feels welcoming. Maybe the green is just like...

I like Brazilian buttlifts. You do? Yeah. I've been kind of in the market for one. Ooh. I'll let you know. I'll let you know if I hear anything on the street. I'll let you know how mine goes.

So we went there this summer and then one thing that they did was they bought a big tent. So the girls could camp out in the backyard. That's fun. Oh, that's cute. And this tent was enormous. It had rooms. It had, like, dividers? It had, like, not dividers.

Although, I think it maybe had, like, a mesh divider you could put in the middle. Wow. But they, it had, like, it was, you could stand up and walk around in it. Wow. It was, it had, it could sleep like six. maybe. Wow. Maybe eight?

Wow. But what we did was the girls spent two nights out there, and we got, they had an old TV that was like a TV VCR, and we, like, put an extension cord out there. Oh, fun. And watched Jurassic Park in the dark. Was it scary? A little bit? It was scary, although we fell asleep before it got scary.

The first hour of it is not scary. Yeah. The one of that goat really gets it in the very first. Well, yeah, and a guy gets in the first scene. Yeah. Have you seen Jurassic Park? A long time ago. It's about this island.

Go on. Full of dinosaurs. What you say? Yeah. They used DNA technology to make dinosaurs, modern dinosaurs. Were you a big dinosaur fan growing up? No, no. I don't remember myself as a baby.

Like, I don't remember that. That era. Yeah. So, but I do know. that I am Nigerian and we don't play. Right. So I know we wouldn't have had like

action figures. Yeah. It wasn't until we moved to Canada where I was like, I think I want a Barbie. Yeah. What did you do when you were, what would you do in Nigeria?

Sports. I guess you were always doing sports. Either school church or sports or family. You know, it's just school. No time to play. We play. Yeah. School, church, outside play.

Okay. Outside play. School, church, chores, outside play. But, like, no, action figures, though. Yeah, because electricity wasn't like... What's your favorite chore? That's a great question. That is actually a great question.

My favorite chore is my brothers and I would love to, like, take things when we moved to Canada. We would just, because of so many kids in life, we would do, like, a family clean, so we had to dump things out. Oh, okay. So it was going into dumpsters, like, and dumping your trash late at night. Oh. It was so much fun. People were just like, because you don't, because most places are locked and you can't do it. Right.

So just like find places that could. I have a neighbor who. Yeah, loved. It was so much fun. You still do it? No. Oh, no. I have a neighbor who like at this, in the city, you have to have a garbage can, but the smaller

the garbage, you pay by size. Yeah. And so he has the smallest garbage can available, but he's constantly. Look, go. Constantly, I see him carrying, like, his home trash out to, like, Camby Street where there's public garbage cans. Not allowed. Not my next-door neighbor.

Not my next-door neighbor. Don't come hunting for him. I'm going to, I'll, I will never reveal this man's identity. Yeah, there's a guy definitely for years has been using our recycle bins to, and he does. He's, like, separating paper and containers and everything, but I'm like, you don't lose. here he never lived here but I had such an interesting there was one there was one time that we had to dump and usually most this is in Ontario but most um like goodwill shops have their garbage

containers are open oh yeah oh yes this is generally open so it was a good place to dump so we were going to our usual spot to not to donate the trash but to dump the dump yeah but then I saw a bully in my high school late at night with their family at looking through and also sometimes

clothes are just tossed also like we'll just toss it out so they were looking through clothes for themselves the family and that that person

in high school was like not a bully to me but they were awful and just to see like it was like I'm not it was sad

it was just weird to see them it was a TV episode it was a TV I felt like I've like I've cracked you yeah

yeah But then also I'm like, I'm sorry that you're going through this. But then also like, oh, I hated being a good person. But like, I couldn't be like, oh, I'm going to expose you, which I never did. That's big you. But I'm just like, oh, I hate you though. Yeah. A little bit.

Yeah, especially running into a bully outside of school hours. I know. Yeah. Or like especially, like, not even the like donated clothes that they're looking for, but the, like, huh, you're such a tough guy at school. But now you're with your mall. That was one grossed me out. Yeah, you have a mom? I know, ew.

That's nasty. Dave, favorite chore? Oh, boy. I like, you know, clearing a table. Oh, yeah. Like, after dinner. Yeah. Yeah, like putting it all.

Are you done with that? Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah. And then, like, wiping it down. Or wiping it down before dinner, too. Yeah. That's a good one. My kids, it's the, like, the second week of school this week.

And one of my kids was very excited because tomorrow we got our jobs. I hope I'm in charge of cubbies. Oh, my goodness. She was not. Oh, what she ended up with? Supplies. Is she an important? She's an organized kid and she's like, she just wanted something where she could be organized.

You're going to love supplies. Handing out supplies? That's beautiful. That's a place. Yes. What are you chore, man? Love doing the dishes. Really?

Yeah. Oh, bless your heart. I, uh, like, I listen to podcast or music and just meditation time. I hate dishes. Yeah? Oh, my God. I feel like when, when they're all in the drying rack, I'm like, ha, it feels good, you know? It feels good to be, to be done, yeah.

Yes. I just, oh, each, each plate, each fork. You don't have a dishwasher? I don't. Me neither. Yeah. That's why I hate it. Yeah.

I saw a fun, what do you call it? Like a dishrag? And it was a picture of a lady and a bottle of wine. It says, the dishwasher's loaded. I get it. Pretty good. I'm not getting it for anyone. So, yeah, I did some.

really roughed it out in the tent. So you slept out there, too. Oh! Yeah, the kids, one night Abby slept out there with them. One night I slept out there with them. I think. And we left it open so the dogs could come and go. Right.

Yeah. I forget if the dogs were there. The one thing about camping is you wake up and like... You're back. Well, you're back and you're just like wet. Yes. You know? Like, you just, yeah.

Because of the sweat. You're like sonning yourself. Yeah, and there's, like, do? Yeah. Yeah. I always found, like, even in the summer, I wake up and it's freezing. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. It's a mixture of both. Totally. So you're like, what the fuck? You're just not sure. No, did you? Because I've never had this, but you see them at, like, outdoor shops, like a sleeping bag with, like, a hood as well? Oh.

No. No. No, me neither. I would hate that. I'm just, like, wear your chook. Just scarf. Scarf. Fair enough.

I just finished reading. I was telling you Into thin air, yeah And it's a book about a big, in 1996 This big Everest climb where there was a storm where a bunch of people died and And they're describing their like accommodations And like their camping stuff

And it's enough to make me never want to climb Everest Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah What they do? Um, well, so a lot of people kind of, well, died. And some people lost their, uh, limbs to frostbite or, or fingers anyway. And, uh, there was a, and some people were left for dead and then came out walking, like, like, they had no pulse. And then 12 hours later, they just woke up. Yeah.

Yeah. And then the movie, have you seen the movie? No. The, the, the, like, dramatized one? Yeah. Okay. there's the people that fall off it's so unceremonious like you don't hear them yelling or anything they just fall off like is how a person would just like fall off and disappear oh yeah and

they're like completely blind in the oh yeah yeah step off and then oh yeah and there's just like some parts of it where they're like well we were in this one like base camp like below the base camp where there's just open sewage out in the middle of and like oh god damn And the food is all contaminated and you wake up. One guy wakes up in the middle and I just has diarrhea out in the air in front of everyone. Of course. Oh, my God. And like another guy is so sick.

But he, and he, like, you stay here. And he's like, I, like, don't climb any further. And he's like, I got to climb because I do not want to stay here. Yeah. Oh, sure. Wow. Yeah. And then, like, you've seen photos of the real Everest.

It's just like a long lineup of people going. Like, it's just kind of is a slow. pace. I don't know you go and you can lie in Photoshop now in this area you go yeah

Everest here some photos on Everest also they're like they get stupid from lack of oxygen and they're like when they get lost

in the snow in the storm like and they can't think they're like zombies out there bumping into each other like I thought I saw you

at the top of the mountain but you were down there the whole time yeah it was having diarrhea don't you remember I was the guy that had the I told you to pass me the toilet paper.

That was me. Wow. I do wonder, like, their brains must be studied. It's the drive. It's like, I mean, kudos to the accomplishment. It's a feat. Yeah, it's a feat. Yeah.

But why? Yeah. You know, and, like, multiple times. Yes. Yes. It is, like, there are certain things that are just, like, acceptable mental illnesses. Yeah.

If it's productive, then, yeah. And if you take yourself out, it's okay. That's right. You're not harming anybody else. You fall off a cliff. You died. I love doing what you love. Yeah, like I watched a part of.

I'm saying that I think all mental illnesses are acceptable. I acceptable was the wrong word, but just like, promotional. Yeah, sure. Yeah, like, did either you guys see free solo? No. Like, just like a guy who climbs rock faces with like, no. Why do you? Yeah.

I was going to say no string, but you know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. Does he die? I didn't watch it at the end. It got very queasy. I was like, I don't think I can do this. I don't.

It's fascinating. Yeah. It's your body, your choice. Yeah. But yeah, that is a thing here of like, like, we have a camping culture here. Yes. We also have a, I knew people who would like just climb all weekend. Yeah.

Not me, man. Nope, me neither. Keep that chalk away from my hands. I'm like my wet hands. I'm trying to teach you a lesson, Graham. I'm in class. Anyway, I love the outdoors. I'm climbing Everest.

What's going on with you? I, last night, along with past guest, Emmett Hall, went to the music venue, the Rikshaw last night to catch a rock and roll show. Cool. And the rock and roll show was a band called. Mac Sabbath that do Black Sabbath songs, but about hamburgers. And they're

dressed like, the lead singers, Ron the McDonald. Are you serious? The bassist is Grimmis. The lead guitar is this guy. Slayer McCheese is his name. I'll pull up the pictures. So yeah, he's like a burger with horns. Wow.

And is it like music? No, it's like It's all, like, do you know any Black Sabbath, like, I Am Iron Man? You know that one. No, I do not. You don't know I am Iron Man. Okay, all right. I figured that was the most, you know, knowable.

Yeah. Why you sing a bit? Yeah, I am Iron Man. Doodoo do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. But they, uh... It's like 70s heavy metal. Okay. Yeah.

Like, before metal got all, um... cookie monster rah rah rah yeah it was Ozzy Osbourne was the lead singer of okay

okay okay I know him yeah yeah yeah so this guy he does

an accent perfect he does an impression of Ozzy Osbourne the whole time and he's rewritten all the lyrics

to be about hamburgers and frying pan the time frying pan was and he's got a little grill on stage

and it's not like a real grill but it's like it's smoke and there's like that's cool how long have they been a band max 12 years

what yeah so I guess frying pan is Iron Man sweet beef I'm guessing sweet leaf yep I don't really know

what these other ones did you give me a title and I'll try to guess the real title well yes I like this game more ribs more okay but you don't know

are they all Black Sabbath or they're all Black Sabbath and you see said more ribs? Yeah. Okay, more ribs. I'm guessing it's more. More.

Thor? Is it? I don't know. More. Oh, I know what it is. But war pigs. War pigs! Oh, I would never have guessed war pigs.

Well, that's because the, those are the three blacks have the songs I know. And like, uh... War pigs, I like that. The, it was completely sold out. Of course, it's pigs. Oh, clever. Oh, I love it. it um place was packed

and uh the band that went on before them what the lead singer was crazy he was insane he was like good insane or bad insane oh fantastic but like I'm like you can only do this because you're young you cannot keep this pace if you tried he's doing like James Brown splits he's like were they metal no they were they were like a rocker they were called the schizophonics

now do they're funics are they on tour or are they local I think they tour with oh okay except they're from San Diego Okay. And this guy, he had microphone tricks. He had mic stand tricks. Like, what's trick? He was doing all sorts of tricks.

What if you found out he's older than you? Then I'd be like, I got to climb the Everest that is being a lead singer of a rock band. How old did he look? He's got to be in his 20s. 20s. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, me too.

He jumped over the security barrier with the mic stand, with the mic and the mic stand. Dude. And then managed to climb back up and do this, like, cool planting the mic standing the Mike's dance thing. He was fantastic. What's the name of this band? Schizophrenx. Okay.

That is a hard, like, if you're a band like a... Schizophrencophonic. Well, I'm, or like a band that has a theme like, we are a McDonald's. Yeah. Black Sabbath cover band. It's very, like, it must be like a, you need to find the right opener for you. You don't want someone who's like, oh, we do Burger King, Les Eppelin covers. There was also people in the audience.

dressed as there was somebody a Burger King there was Wendy's in there and then just a couple burger employees

did you like fast food I did I gave it up I gave it up good for you what was your go to Burger King

yeah okay but it I gave Burger King up way before I gave up fast food in general but yeah the quality just

oh yeah what is that why you gave it up yeah it was always cold and I'm like, what is it? Yeah. So I just, I'm like, you're not happy as they stuff.

Would you go to like a place like in and out burger or something like that or just off of fast food altogether? Well, off of fast food all together. Okay. But my favorite fast food story is I never had Chick-fil-A. Me neither. And everybody talks about Chick-fil-A. And I was visiting a friend in New York and I was like, what's the hype about Chick-fil-A? Yeah.

And then he was like, it's the best. Right. And then he's like, you have to. that you've never had it. I've never had it. You have to have it. Because I'm like, I just know that they don't close on Sundays.

Oh. No, they do close on Sundays. Really? Yeah. That's what that like the... Because they were relit. No, they close on Sunday. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, which, okay, yes. Because there was one in the Calgary Airport. And for years, I, like, the times I came in and we did shows or whatever, I'd be like, oh, maybe I'll get it. Oh, it's closed. We're flying out on a Sunday. Yeah.

Oh. So, um, so I had it. And I said, I've never had it to the cashier first time. So give me the standard everything. She was so excited, so excited. And she gave me everything. And then I ate it, and it was horrible. Really?

Oh, my God. The drink was way too sweet. I was like, oh, my God. That's sugar and that's it. Was that in Canada or in the States? New York. New York. Because the States, I think their soda is a little bit sweeter down there.

It was dirty sweet, just too much. And then their burger... The bread was very dry and hard. Okay. It was just a bad experience. And what is it, what are they, I mean, obviously, it's chicken, but is it fried chicken or? Chicken sandwich. A little bit spicy.

Sure. There's always so many different flavors. Sure. You know. But yeah. But just chicken. But nothing crazy. And then she came back and she's like, how was it?

I'm like, truthfully, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine, ten. These are the ten reasons why I hate everything. Right. And then she was like, what are you doing? You're counting to 10. Okay, so 10 out of 10, no. No. But then I told this story.

And because the bread also, it was bad because the bread was really hard. And I'm like, the bread is hard. And she saw it. And she was like, I'm so sorry. So, yeah, it was just really bad. So I told the story to a friend of mine, we were traveling to somewhere for improv. And then a person who worked for Chick-fil-A was sitting next to us. And they overheard it.

And they were so, they apologized to me. Oh, really? Yes, they were embarrassed. Embarrassed by my experience. And then they gave me, like, a handful of gift cards. Really? They just pulled chicken out of their pocket. Try this.

Take this. And I have yet to go to a Chick-fil-Ace. So. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had a similar experience with Taco Bell.

I had one Taco Bell that was so bad. Never sought it out ever again. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I like is the biscuits from popcorn. Oh, yeah. They're like a kind of famous. I just go in and just order those.

Just a plate of biscuits, please? A half dozen. Yeah? Well, I share. The biscuits from Red Lobster were, I haven't had them since. I don't know if it's changed. They sell them in the like freezer now, like in the freezer aisle. So you don't have to go.

It's not technically, you know, fast food or whatever. I guess Red Lobster's not fast food. It's slow. No, it's sit down. But they don't have it here. Yeah, they had it in Calgary for her. a long time, but never went, allergic. Didn't have it.

Yeah, he's allergic to biscuits. I know. Dave, he walks around those six biscuits. Like, he's the king of the castle, I tell you. So you liked this show. I liked it. Have you seen Guar? I'm going to see Guar on October 29.

Two days before Halloween. Ooh, it's Guar. Who's Guar? Oh, let me tell you. Well, let's pull up some of the photos of them. So it's kind of in the same vein as Max Sabbath. It's guys in costumes. Okay.

You like guys in costume And they're like Okay Yeah They're like interdimensional beings Dude And they like spray blood all over the audience Are you serious?

Yeah Are they? That's the band Yeah How is this one standing? Like how do you play? He's got goat feet He's got goat feet

They look like Are they mystical? Are they like Do they have name? Yeah they're like from another dimension And they Another dimension? Another dimension

Another dimension Is there a video game based out of them? They look very video gaming. They do look very video gaming. Like, there has to be video games. Yeah, they kind of look like Golden X. Yeah.

So they, their big thing is that they spray blood over the whole audience. Okay. Like, not, of course, maybe, yeah, but, uh, but I'm, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna find an all white outfit so that it gets completely covered in blood. Oh, my lord. Are they?

Uh, uh, yeah, closer to that then. Then Max Sabbath, yeah, like a lot more. We did a bonus episode where we tried to explore their music, and I don't remember a single thing. They also have people come on that they dressed as politicians, and they cut their heads off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real talk. Real talk.

Yeah. And, yeah, they're fun. They started as an artist collective in, like, Detroit or something like that. I think Virginia? Oh, might be Virginia, yeah. And then they came out with these costumes, and they're all, like, characters and, uh, Guar, I think, what was the show Gawar was on, like a talk show, daily talk show.

Jenny Jones, he was on? Jenny Jones. The lead singer of Guar was on, yeah. Why? Do you have, like, I'm in love with my neighbor? I'm a monster and I'm in love with my neighbor. Yeah, your secret crush is. Bozar.

Do you ever go to concerts? Yes, I went to concerts. I went to concerts because... Oh, my God, or you really got her with that funny question. Yes, I went, yes, not a lot, but I did. I went to the Backshy Boys concert. Hell yeah. Yeah.

All right. There it is. Yeah. That was so good. Backshy Boys. Robin. I don't remember many. Was the Robin concert good?

So good. Yeah. Andreson Pack. Prince. Thank God I saw him before he left. You saw Prince? Yes. Wow.

Beyonce. You're hitting all the bigs. Janelle Monet. Okay. Yeah. Wu Tang. Oh, how is Wu Tang? Wu Tang was.

Amazing. Okay. Not the one that just, not the show that just passed. Oh, I see. The one last year. Okay. It was great. We bought the cheapest tickets and then we get there.

And then some lovely, beautiful woman was like, hey, do you want to be upgraded? And I'm like, why not? Yeah, yeah. And then we went straight down. Oh, wow. We were just, we saw everything. We were the only people of color at the concert, but it was great. Nice.

It was so much fun. I had a great time. Was that at Rogers? I believe so. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You're always getting hooked up. Maybe you were bad-mouthing Wu-Tang Clan. Actually, we want to give you some gift card. We're trying to get you over. No, because we were literally, not literally, but we were literally the only people of going there. And I think they were filming it. Because I heard somebody because they had, like, crew,

and then somebody pointed over there. And then two seconds later, I saw a camera crew just in front of them. We got the shot. We got the shot. Okay, smile. You're laughing and fun. It is weird.

And we're smiling. So if they ever have a documentary movie, I'm going to watch it. Because I'm like, I'm just going to look for me. Hell yeah. If they ever showcase Vancouver. I've only started going to concerts in the last couple of years. They're fun. They're fun.

Yeah. Like last night just to go, like it was done by 10, you know. Got to sit. Got to sit the whole time. have to stand in a sweaty pack of people and it's like, this is fun. I can't think of a more fun way to spend like, whatever

it was, 30 bucks or whatever. I'm down paying really cheap tickets for cheap seats and just watch a show. Yeah. Yeah. Now, when you go to concerts, did you dress up? Yes. I think I started dressing up

when I went to the Beyonce concert. I went with a friend and they were very enthusiastic about it. I'm like, I had to. And I was like, wow. It's a thing, people. Yeah. People do it. Yeah. Absolutely.

Guys, we are about three minutes away from 555. Okay. Oh, my God. We'll just stay tuned, everybody. But the thing is, you can't, that's the thing. You can't wait for it and look for it. I know. It has to organically happen.

Do you ever, like, when you look at a clock and it's a second counter like that? Yeah. Do you ever, does it ever feel like the moment you look at it? That second lasts extra long? Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Just did it.

Oh. Yeah. No, I thought the time path. No, but if you look. Yeah. It does. I've never noticed that before. That's awesome.

There's a name for that. Seeing a second. Yeah. There's like a name for that effect or that phenomenon. I love that. Yeah. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard? Sure.

Ford. Hi, I'm Alexis. I'm one of the co-host of Comfort Creatures and I'm here with River Jew, who has been a member since 2019. Thank you so much for being a listener and the support of our show. Yeah, I can't believe it's been that long. Yeah, right? As the Mexun member of the month, can I ask what sort of made you decide to be a member? I used to work in a library, so I just used to listen to podcasts while I reshelfed all the books.

It's really helpful with doing reading at work. So I just wanted to give back. to what's been helping me. Yeah. It feels good to be part of that. As the member of the month, you will be getting a $25 gift card to the maximum fund store,

a member of the month bumper sticker, and you also, if you're ever in Los Angeles, you can get a parking spot at the MaxFun HQ just for you. Yay. I'm actually going to L.A. in September, so I'll get to use the parking. Yes. Thank you so much, River, for doing this.

This has been an absolute blast. Yeah, of course. I've been so glad to be able to talk to you too, and I'm so excited to be a member of the month. Yay! Become a MaxFund member now at MaximumFund.org slash join. Hey, everybody. I'm Jeremy. I'm Oscar. I'm Dimitrate.

And we are the Eurovangelists. For a weekly podcast, writing the word of the Eurovision Song Contest, the most important music competition in the world. Maybe you already heard Glenn Weldon of NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour talk up our coverage of this year's contest. But what do we talk about in the off season? The rest of Eurovision. And duh, there are nearly seven decades of pop music history to cover. Mm-hmm.

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Oh, okay. Cool. Overheard. Now, if you've ever heard the show before, it's hearing things out there in the world and then talking about them. It couldn't be more simple. And we always like to start with the guest.

Essay, do you have an o'er. Okay, yes. I was taking an Uber one day and I was talking to the driver and he told me that he used to drive trucks. Okay. And he told me that there's a mountain, I think maybe in BC or the board

or maybe closer to Seattle where it's not a mountain. It's a storage space. Oh, really? It's like a giant hill full of stuff? Yes. And it's secret. Okay.

It's obviously government protected with some codes. Oh, yeah, absolutely some codes. And I was like, what's there? He's like, things. Like... Not allowed to talk. Yeah. And I'm just like, now when I see him out,

and if I drive past the mountain, like, what's in it? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, what's the, it's a fake man? And I'm just like, when people, it looks like a mountain. Like, when you're driving down the highway, there's like, it's like, it's like, damn.

How long has it been there forever? Like, I would assume so. But like, like, like, they would carve it out on. They carved it out. It was like, it was a real mountain. They didn't build a new mountain. No, it was a real mountain. A real mountain.

But like, stuff's in there. Stuff's in there. I have to wonder, like, where are all? No. You went too fast? But it's still five, five, five. That's still good Now I have to wait for that

You gotta look away It's kind of lost its power Has it? Yeah but also it's still We still got it Five-five-five We're still gonna get it You're never gonna get it

Here goes Three Four Merry Christmas It lost its power though You have to find it organic Yeah, you have to find it organics That's fine

You got 4-4-4-4-4 Yes Um Dave, do you have an overheard? Okay, a couple of weeks ago I was at, I was at the nursery in Southlands, which is where I, it's actually a kind of a pricey plant buying place. Okay. But it was the end of summer, so I was like, maybe it'll be some deals. Are you a plant person?

I'm a flower and garden guy. Yeah. And I was, so I was walking through, there were no deals. No, no closing out summer tomato plant. But right next to the nursery, there was, I mean, it's a super rich neighborhood and there's giant properties and you can't even see inside them. And like it's, it's an area of town where there's signs saying, watch out for horses because people just have horses.

Wow. But there was a really loud, great sounding band playing. Okay. And they were playing They played I was like Oh what's this And it was simply the best

By Tina Turner That's awesome And it was like Two in the afternoon And then when that was done They played It's Only Love by Tina Turner And Brian Adams

Nice Nice And then after that They started playing What's Love Got to do It Wow And then they cut that short

And went right into We Don't Need Another Hero I did a hero bit Bit to that song and then they did they played all of that and then they played Proud Mary

and I checked out a lot of this and then I asked someone who was You requested a song Well no I was just I could hear it from across the street It was so loud

Yeah I asked someone at the plant nursery I was like Have they been doing this all day? And they said no I think there's a wedding happening here tonight The band is just sound checking

And then so they finished Proud Mary and I was walking back to my car and I just overheard someone like looking over the fence and they said, it's a little freaky how much you sound like Tina Turner. Yeah, you're simply the best, I guess.

We'll just, yeah. Like, was it a guy that sounded like Tina Turner? It was only was a lady and she sounded just like Tina Turner. Wow. RIP. Yeah. And actually, the song is called The Best.

Oh, okay. I called it Simply the Best because that's what everybody calls it. It should be called Simply the Best. Yeah. That's one of those. What was your hero, We Don't Need Another Hero, Bet?

I wrote after We Don't Need Another Heroes. There was a TV show. Like the TV show? I think they were trying to recreate it. Yeah. We don't need another heroes. Like, we... Yeah, what was it?

In the wake of heroes, there were, like, a few kind of, like... Was it, Heroes We Saved the Cheerleaders Save the World? Yeah. Yeah. And I feel. feel like they tried to make a few other shows in that mold. Yes. It was the same time as lost, but

that was a different mold. Yeah, but it's of that era. It's very specific. But it was like, but if you wanted to recreate another show that's been done, then recreate Quantum Leap. Yeah, they did. They did. They recreated it. And I watched an episode. Not good. No,

Scott Bakula's the guy. He's the guy you want to see travel through time, not that some other guy. Yeah. They redid McGiver, and that lasted a years. Yeah, that's true. But is Richard Dean Anderson a force? I guess, I guess, you know, he had a great head of hair on the original run.

And do you ever see McGiver? No. There's a guy who could build things out of stuff. Anything or get out of things. Yeah, you could get out of anything. Yeah. You know, all he needed was like a paperclip and, you know, been a rubber or whatever, and he would figure it out.

And you could make, like, a kind of paperclip device. Or you can make, like, one of these, like a pig with the tail. You could. He needs a pushpin at a racer What's your overheard, sir? My overheard, something that was said to me Last night at the show, I was stopped in the stairwell By a guy who recognized me

And he was like, hey, I know you from back in the day I used to go to the quino, which is now a distant memory, but It's now a Japanese taco restaurant Yeah, no comedy happened there. but this guy was like, Any flamenco? No, I don't think any flamingo. I don't know where you're going

for Flamico these days. But he was like, yeah, yeah, I really liked your stuff. I thought you were really funny. I was, oh, yeah, thanks very much. He goes, yeah, man, you'd have those plastic guns. And I was like, you're thinking of Chris Gordon. Oh, no.

That's not me at all. Oh, no. And I realized, no, this guy did the exact same thing to me five years ago when the Kino was open. Oh, wow. Like, it was a, I was, I was like, that's fine, but I was just like, can I just walk away now?

Do I have to continue this conversation? Yeah, I really miss those plastic guns. That was really cool. You should have really kind of like sandbagged Chris. Yeah, I kind of had to stop doing that because I got arrested for robbing a bag for plastic and also I have a tiny penis. Well, good night. Oh, good night.

Remember my name. Tell the world Yeah, I'm Chris Gordon Now, we also have overheard sent in From people all over You want to send one in You can send in to sb y at maximum fund.org And

Here's a few of them that I think old joy I just got an email It was like invoice do And I was like, oh no How much do you owe? Let's see Not a lot. I rarely get invoiced.

I just get a... I'm always doing invoices. I send invoices. $200 I owe. You owe? Yeah. I know, right? I'm going to miss that $200.

When it goes, man, oh man. What did you buy? This was for a social media campaign for my laugh gallery show that happens every Thursday. Oh, that's all right. No, actually, this was for the 24-hour show. Oh, okay. So it is an outstanding invoice I do owe them but

I don't want to hear about it You don't make a big deal about it I'm going to get a message from you later saying Can't cut that out I didn't say the name of the company Sure sure but you know It's Chris Gordon Enterprises Yeah we can keep that in

This first one comes from Scott in Omaha Earlier today I was writing writing through the barbershop district of La Paz Bolivia Okay That's awesome That there's a whole district And about half of the shops

advertise themselves As barbershop And the other half Were Compro Cabello AKA I buy hair Which I Like a salon maybe Yeah well like a hair cutting place

And then a place What's a wig place? Yeah Maybe Yeah Wigs maybe Yeah Anyways

I just I just had no idea I've just never heard of that Just a pervert Is that the overheard? Yeah I was like what happened At the salon?

He didn't Whoever it was He didn't go Scott I mean he It's half a story really Because I'm gonna go in But

Go back to La Paz Yeah Go to the hair Cutting District What districts do we have here For a long time We had like an outdoor No

My hair district We had like a camping Outdoor Broadway Yeah There was a copying neighborhood. I remember all the copiers were just off Barard and Broadway. There was like four. There was one on each corner.

There was a like skiing, snowboarding at Fourth and Barard. Absolutely. And then there was, like South Granville had a like a guitar area. Oh, okay, sure. There was that big music, yeah, music equipment supply. Yeah. Long McQuaid? Yeah, no.

No, oh, the one downtown. Yeah. What is that called? Tom Lee? Tom Lee. Tom Lee. Yeah. They're still in biz, right, Tom Lee?

Oh, yeah, they've moved. They're, I think, like, in the London Drugs area, the London Drugs District. Oh, no, you know what? Forthambrard is now, like, the car district. Oh, yeah, they got a lot of luxury car. Yeah. Yeah. Which is a good use of land.

I've always said that what the city needs is like the Jaguar, Maserati dealerships in the city. In the city? This next one comes from Angela from Toronto. This is Angela from Toronto. I was at the Toronto Zoo looking at the Bisons. A young girl walked up to the fence. She was likely five or six and said, now here is a family of heavy metal ding-dongs.

She called Bison, the heavy metal ding-dong. I see that. What's heavy metal about that? I guess they're shaggy. They look a little like guar. Yeah, they definitely have a guar feel. I don't know. They've got the hair hanging down.

They look. They look. Yeah. What would you, if you had to describe, a bison looks like. A bison is like a big... Yeah. It's like a buffalo.

Yeah, but they have the shaggy... Yeah. They're big... They got horns. Yeah. And they've got like... I guess I'd say heavy metal ding-dong. Have you had to pick?

I mean, the ding-dong sounds a little bit rude. That looks a little heavy metal. That guy looks like the guy from Slayer. Yeah. That had the long goatee. I think this is cute. I mean, yeah, I see heavy metal. I don't get ding.

dung, but I see heavy metal. Yeah. I don't get ding-dong either. But it was a mom saying it to her kid? This is a kid saying it. Oh, okay. That makes a bit more sense. Hey, check this out.

I do love the idea of a mom saying it. I did. I check of these heavy metal ding-dongs. Anyway, I'll be in the car. There's five bucks. It stinks here. Oh, that was the thing about the zoo. Toronto Zoo.

That's a big animal. Yeah, have you either you get there. They're a bit of Toronto Zoo? I don't generally like zoos. But I think I've been to a zoo, but no, not Toronto Zoo. Fair enough. Calgary Zoo. Every field trip, Calgary Zoo.

The times we've gone to Palm Springs, we often go to the living desert, which is their zoo. And it is so hot, I hate it. User review. It's so hot, I hate it. This last one comes from Amy from Auckland, New Zealand. I'm sitting in the office next to my workwife. I'd never like that term. I've never liked the term work.

wife. Oh, well, okay. But what do you call me? That's a great question. My sidepiece. My smoke show. My smoke show. I was sitting in the office next to my work wife after lunch, and the head of finance just

came back to his desk after a meeting. We heard him muttering, he had a little treat. You deserve it. While marching past, and we both cheered, yeah. And he stopped with a panic, looks. Oh, did I say that? Oh, that was for him. Oh, executive direction.

You deserve a little treat. Positive pep talk guests, each of the time. Have you worked in office job? I have. Do you like a little treat during the workday? No. Okay. No, because it gets you, it gets you tired.

Yeah, you get a spike in then, yeah, yeah. I'm a 3 p.m. Give me something biscuity. Yeah, yeah. Anything, like, to me, that's the whole, game behind tea is getting access to cookies. I know. Yeah. But no fast food. I would take it

and eat it after. Okay. But I wouldn't eat sweets at all? I do. I do. I do. I do. Because I was just like you're like a superhuman being. If you don't have sweets and? No, fast food? And you don't like cold burger king? No. Or hard chick fillet? I'm a particular person. Now, in addition, overheards that are written

in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is one 844-779-7631 that's one ugh spy pod one like these people have Hi Dave Graham and possible guests This is Chris on location at a hotel bar in the Berkshurst Where I just overheard one of the workers saying to a customer Yeah my boyfriend does a lot of the household chores

And I do a lot of cocaine after a few more minutes of snooping in on the conversation, I realized she actually had said, cooking. All right, off I go. Thank God. Yeah. I mean, you're about it, your turn. Yeah, my boyfriend is a lot of the chores that I just do cocaine.

I think cocaine, from what I've seen in the movies, would make you good at chores. Yeah. Yeah. Also, if you watch those movies from the 80s, right to the top of the executive, like, doing cocaine. Right then, you're going to fall hard. That's right. Yeah, you can only smoke, smoke, sniff.

Sniff. I sniff my way to the top. And then, like you said, it's all going to come falling down. Yeah. You built your empire on cocaine. Like Scarface. Yeah. My movie was so beautifully sad.

I was so tragic. Scarface? Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever watch Love Island? Did you watch the latest season of Love Island? Yes. So the guy, do you not feel like it's a red flag

that there was a guy that had Tony Montoya tattooed on his stomach? I forgot who that was. Who? I think that was Pepe, wasn't it? Yeah, but Pepe is the international basketball player. Right. You know.

So that's fine. You know. There's a guy that had a joker tattoo on his arm. Yeah, those, that is. That was bad. Yeah. Maybe that was Pepe. I can't remember who had that tattoo.

Let's see. You're talking about Love Island, USA's Pempe Garcia. Gonzales. That's the guy, I think. It's hard to see his tattoos because he's always wearing a shirt. Who was your favorite couple? Look, I was in it for the drama,

so anything Huda was involved in. Huda is wild. She scares me. Yeah, me too. She is terrifying. But I thought she was the show. She wasn't the show, per se. But, uh...

Who did you like? Ooh, I wanted Huda out, because she just gave me strong anxiety. That's the same as Sally. They were just giving me anxiety all the time. But I loved O'Landria. She was just so... She was great.

I love her. She was fantastic. I loved Alandria. But, like, it was also a boring season. Well, I mean, I think Hutto was the only one stirring the pot. Yeah, but, like, it was... I just saw a sad girl, and I'm just like, you need a hug from your mom. Yeah.

Ryan had the scarface tattoo. Oh, yeah. But that relationship is not. It's done. And it was... whoever you said before, Pepe had the Joker tattoo. Yeah, yes, I remember that. And I was like, and it's, he's

Ledger Joker. It's not even like a cartoon joke. I know. It's not even the good Jared Leto one. That almost always gets left out of the Joker conversation. I never knew he played Joker. Yeah. Oh, yes, with Harlequin. What is, what is the, um, how many guys on this show?

Uh, is it just swarming with people? It swarming with people. It swarms at first and then they it's like the they kind of then they bum around for a few episodes and then they go to another villa

where there's all new people I never watched it I you should and shouldn't but also I didn't realize what a big phenomenon and that it was daily was it on like all summer long it was

it released episodes like on Wednesday I was episode dumps quite behind it was done by the time I would always fast forward a lot of it like I didn't sit and watch. It was a lot of sitting around

and them just chatting. Talking and it's all like, I mean, we all know this isn't real. Like, yeah. Okay.

And these relationships aren't. Yeah, nobody's actually. People are just really concerned about people being together. It's like, this isn't, these people are just,

they just want to get a, some modeling contract. You have followers so they can get sponsored. I know. Oh gosh. But it's, yeah,

it was a, I did enjoy Hoodah's antics, but she just gave me anxiety. I understood. Yeah. We wish are the best. Well, next phone call. Yeah. Hey. Hi, guys. This is Emily.

From America. I won't give you the state because this is a license plate overheard. I don't know if that's legal, but I saw a license plate. A vanity plate. That was supposed to say blessed, but I think it was taken.

And it was spelled B-L-3-3-S-E-D. Bleast. Oh, bleez. I just lost it. Beliste. S-E-D, bleased. What are you saying?

We're bleased. Yeah. I'm too bleased to be streased. Yeah, that's... And also, I, like, I hope your lawn looks great after that. I heard someone mowing it in the back. background. Oh, man. I had a, like, a video call today. And I swear to you, not a day in the past two weeks has a truck rumbled down the alley. Today, four different trucks. All air brakes and

beeping. Oh, man, oh man. Of all the days, you know. You had to do your big present. Yeah. And I just a real little treat. It went well. And here's your final phone call. Hello, Dave Graham, an esteemed guest. This is Zane from Kalamazoo, Michigan. calling in an overheard. I was at a Detroit Tigers baseball game, and I was coming back down to my seat from buying a pretzel, and these two women were shouting across the aisle at each other, so I don't think they knew each other.

And they were a little drunk, but one of them says, I can't believe they always toss these foul balls to kids, and the other one says, yeah, and they don't even contribute to the economy. Anyway, off I go Yeah, I mean Agreed to disagree

I think kids are They're keeping the toy market afloat Yeah, that's true They're always saying, mommy, mommy Can I stop and get a treat? Yeah, absolutely I want that cereal, I want this candy We have treats at home, son

Yeah, there's raisins in the car Oh, raisins Did you, have you all seen that Lady Who Yeah, oh, Karen I mean, wild person She deserves it She seems like a nasty person

She does but also like When then they were showing other angles Like I said with the cold play couple I don't need to go I don't want to find these people Identities I want one minute of feeling good That I'm not them

And then I'm over it We don't need to They're backstories We don't need another hero I feel like the news is so toxic That everybody's like Here's the thing that's not Hey, let's all be mean to this league.

Yeah, it's wild. I also, I mentioned phone calls, but you can also send voice memos. And as you heard, a couple of those people were voice memos, send them to SPY at maximum fun.org. Those voice memos, nice and clear. I know. A little too clear. Too clear. Okay, maybe put a phone sound effect now.

Right behind you. Get around. Well, answer. Hey, little mama, let me whisper in your ear. Well, that's the end of this podcast. Oh, no. Oh, no. S-A, thank you so much for your own.

Stay until it's 666. I would love to. I would love to. Thank you for having me. This was so much fun. And if people want to find you online, social media, where do they go? Um, Little Clitty at Little Clitty, Instagram. Yes.

That's L-I-L. L-I-L. Yeah. Yeah, L-I-L-L-C-L-I-T-Y-X, little-litty X, on Instagram. And if you're in Vancouver and you like Improv, come watch Seasoned Improv First Friday of every month at LMG. Nice.

730. And if you haven't seen this group. Myself, Ronald Dario and Kevin Vidal. Nice. Good crew. Best group. If you haven't seen essay perform, do yourself a favor, you know? Go check it out.

I'm pretty cool. You're pretty cool. Come on. And thank you everybody out there for listening. May all your days be filled with heavy metal dick-dogs. Come on back next week with another episode of Stop Podcast for yourself. network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you