Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 915 - Adam Christie

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

Comedian Adam Christie returns to talk tier lists, pie, and Prince Edward Island. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark. And together we host, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 915 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and with me as always, is a man. who, even though summer's done, he's still rocking the shorts, Mr. Dave Schumpke. Summer's been done for six hours. Yeah, but you're still, you're still holding on.

Well, I'm a hot guy. You are a hot guy. Everybody says. I'm, that's why I'm on that, uh... The calendar? The calendar with all the other firemen. You're the one, every year they're allowed to have one non-fireman. Yeah, sort of a make-a-wish thing.

I want to ruin a calendar. Not the whole calendar, just a month. But I wanted to be December. Because I get to, I'll be, like, shirtless with a Santa beard and hat. With a beard is clearly fake. It's coming off like Bad Santa. Did you like Mad Santa? Yeah, I thought it was okay.

It's, you know, he's with Billy Bob Thornton, when he plays Billy Bob Thorpe. Yeah, when he plays mean. Yeah, when he plays mean or just kind of crusty. I will never forgive him for what he did, do my favorite radio host. And that's the most famous thing about that host, as far as I know. It was for a long time. Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast, he has an album coming out this very week on all streaming platforms,

and maybe available for physical purchase. I don't know, but it's called Dragonfly. And our guest, Dragonflies. It's Adam Christie. Hello, Adam. Hello, I didn't prepare an overheard. Let's do this. I just realized that now.

You have about an hour to think about it. Okay, well, you guys do the podcast, and I'll be over here thinking about things I've heard. Maybe it'll be the podcast. You're in for it. I heard these two guys talking about Billy Bob Thornton. In this day and age. What's your favorite Billy Bob Thornton role? Go.

Oh, my God. I don't know. I don't really know them that well. What are some big ones? I like him in the movie, A Simple Plan. A Simple Plan? Yeah. He was in Simple Plan?

He was in the Quebec Wall Power punk band Civil Plan. Yes. Bail, I'm just a kid. A Billy Bob. A Billy Bob. He plays a simpleton in that. And life is a Thornton. And he's also played a simpleton in Slingblade.

And then is there a third Billy Bob Thornton? I think he plays drums in the boxmasters. Oh, yeah, that's it. There, that's he go to space. Is he in, um... He's space spouse Cowboys. Oh, no, no, he's the Armageddon. Is he like, hey, you better not mess up my Armageddon?

Yeah, that's my favorite Billy Bob Thornton movie, Arbigan. He's the man who wasn't there. Yep. Yep. And he was in, well, he was Bad Santa. We established that. Yeah. And then he's in Lawman.

I don't know that one. It's from the world of Yellowstone. Oh. The Yellowstone universe. Yeah. And he also, him and Angelina Jolie used to be married. Yeah. And they used to, the crazy, they had blood vials on their necks.

They porked. Horked? They porked. Poor. And he was also on the first season of the TV show Fargo, which was good. That was good. Yeah. Didn't see it.

There was a great like snow storm shootout. Yeah. It was, well, let's get to know us. Get to know us. We established all of our favorite Billy Bob Thornton rolls. Before we started the podcast, you were asking Dave. Yeah. What he feels about.

The new CFL rules is a, is it fucking new up or what? Today, they change the rules of the CFL. So, the Canadian Football League is distinct from American football, gridiron football. Yeah. In that, it has a wider field. Yep. A longer field. Yep.

It has, um, the end zone's 20 yards. The end zone's 20 yards. So the field is 110 yards long. Yep. And the players all have part-time jobs. Players, a lot of them are firemen. Yeah. They have, uh, you can have motion.

Your receivers So everyone can start running around Before it starts Yeah Oh really? Before you hit you that in the NFL The ball Yep

The ball is bigger The ball is bigger Yeah And And the Oh and the And the field goal post Is at the front of the end zone

Yes And there's also 12 guys on the field Per team instead of 11 And there is And there was a thing called A Rouge Which is if you miss a field goal

And it goes out The end of the end zone You get a point Oh okay I don't know. I can't explain why this league exists. No one in Toronto cares about this. I know.

Toronto doesn't care. No one in Vancouver cares about this. Wow, that's not true. Bridge and Tunnel Crabb. Yeah, but in Vancouver. That's why they're called the British Columbia Alliance. That's right. So it counts, British Columbia.

Calgary, they're fans of it, Edmonton, the Elts. Saskatchewan, they are mental. Hamilton loves it? Yes. Hamilton likes it, yes. I think Toronto and Vancouver. I don't know if Ottawa cares. I don't know why my, I.

If Montreal cares, I'm surprised. They're the Elouettes. They're the Elouettes. But today, shocking announcement reveals that now the end zone is going to be 15 yards long. The field is going to be 100 yards long. That is, to me, feels like the biggest thing. But, yeah, it's still going to be just as wide. Field goal posts at the back of the end zone.

The Rouge rule different. Oh, no. So if you miss a field goal and it goes out of the end, because it's now at the back of the field. goal of the end zone, then... I am following all of this flawlessly. Yep. So there, but there will still be some kind of rouge if you like get tackled in a

in the, if you like get tackled in the end zone after you catch a punt. Or if you wear like a nice kind of makeup, a little blush. There's some, there will still be a rouge, but not the kick through the end zone rouge. And I would say in the history of a Canadian stand-up comedy, I feel like

the fact that there were two teams at one time called the Rough Riders was maybe the most common stand-up comedy joke in Canada. Yeah, I can tell you the second most common. Which one? Canadian's military. It's only got one sub, but it's in West Emmetton Mall. Yes, that is another one.

If you were watching Comedy at Club 54 or Comedy Now on the Comedy Network, between 1998 and 2008, you would hear that joke. Yeah. For sure. Oh, man, now I want to think of the other great Canadian jokes. Oh, boy, I mean, I guess it's not stand-up, but I sure love that chicken cannon. Have we described what the chicken cannon is? Yeah, it was on the Royal Canadian Airfare, so they would just shoot stuff out of it. They would put in, like, ingredients like, you know, because he's a turkey and they'd put a turkey in.

And they would shoot at a picture of Justin Trudeau or whatever. Shoot turkey at him. Not Justin Trudeau. It would be like Belinda Straonic or something. This was like 40 years ago. Yeah, yeah. This was a television show that was. television.

We've talked about the show at so. Oh, okay. No, but please. We've done 914 episodes. Forgive me for

not catch it. I don't know the established characters of the of the entire well, I mean, the established characters are

Lubbogoy. What's the name Roger Abbott? Don Ferguson. Yep. Dave Clark. Dave. Graham Clark.

Dave Graham Clark. Dave Barrett. Dave. Broadfoot. Broadfoot. Broadfoot. Broadfoot. Yeah, they were

famous radio people who had a of a show. Anyway. And the television show went forever. Yeah, it went for more than 20 years. Yep.

Yeah. But how has the CFL news rocked your world? Where were you when you heard? I was looking at my Discord. I was looking at a Discord where they were. Which Discord? For the Vancouver Canucks podcast I listened to with past guest Stefan Eck. I hate this team.

Oh. And they were talking about it was in the other sports channel. I didn't know. a guy of Discord. I'm on one Discord. I'm on a, you know, I've tried other discords. I don't like too many messages.

Do you guys have a Discord? Do you guys have fans talking to each other? Yeah. Everybody's... They're on a Facebook group. They're on a Facebook group, but there's no Discord. Should we get a Discord? Sound off in the Facebook group.

Do you do a Discord? No, I don't, I don't have that. Have you? Do you have Slack? Are you slack in anyone? I don't have Slack at all. I don't even know what that is. Isn't that for just work?

That's what I thought. It's the same thing. But like, what is the Discord? or it is like a message, message board, basically? Yeah, can I... Because I, I do... It's chat rooms. It's not a message board.

It's like a chat. But you guys don't have your own specific, like, Patreon or do you? No. We have a... Because you guys work for a... You guys have a boss. We work for a podcast and conglomerate. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

In the minds. Yeah. We release our show through maximum fun. And our people who support the show get bonus content through that. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Um, but, uh, I'm a Patreon subscriber to a couple things. And they have a Discord, but I don't know what it is. You don't take part? No, I got enough going on. You know what I mean? Do you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like what you do today? Brother. I worked all day. Yep. And then I had to do laundry. Okay. Then I came here. Yep. Then I go back. Got to take that laundry and hang it up. Uh-huh.

And then I'm going to stop by my friends for a piece of apple cake. Apple cake. Is your friend? Is your friend? friend, like a German woman? Yeah, she's a German one. I stop me by Olga's house for something. You're a hangar of laundry? Yeah, yeah. I don't want any of my stuff to be too form fitting.

Oh, just shrink, yeah. Yeah. Well, me too, because, I mean, my body doesn't make any sense. Does your body make sense? Well, I guess it makes sense. That's one of the classic stand-up Canadian jokes. It's an Adam Christie's body. Boy, two plus two equals five there, guys.

Radiohead. Do you hang them in your apartment Or is in the laundry room They got lines in the laundry room Oh, okay See, I hang dry it all myself But I don't have a hanger I just hang it on stuff around

Like a lamp? Lamp doors Are you putting them on hangers in hanging them Or you're just throwing them on online I just throw them on door Like if you come over to my house Sometimes every surface Like you can easily buy

Like a contraption that you can hang Yeah, I got a contraption But I don't have that. I just put it all over things around the apartment. And my girlfriend, who is another adult, no, also does this. Oh, really? Like, it's maybe the most childish thing that we both do. It's kind of crazy that we both do this.

Do you hang dry anything? I try not to. Yeah. I have a couple of, like, shirts that always come out a little bit wrinkled. I mean, I assume. And then they spray them, I spray the wrinkled parts and then hang those. Yeah. But you have children.

You don't have a lot of time. You're on Discord all day. I'm on Discord all day. You just throw it in the dryer. Go crazy. And then, yeah, no, I don't. But my wife hangs a lot of stuff. And she has that contraption.

And, you know, that contraption's outdoor season is coming to an end. Do you guys do separate laundry? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I thought you'd marry laundry. Everything mixing in together. No, we do separate laundry. And everyone, like, we used to do the kids laundry together.

but now it's just too confusing because they're too similar in size. So, I have four laundries going on in any of them. Four laundries plus, you know, sheets and towels. And then whatever the dog gets on, you know, you got to get some. Generally, sheets and towels. Yeah. Blankets maybe, duvets.

Is that a, that's in the sheets. That's in the sheets category. Can I ask you a question about your house? You can, you know what? You can ask anything without prefacing it with, can I ask you a question? Okay. So I just went to the washroom in your washroom. And you have a child's toilet.

See, you have a regular toilet. seat. And then on top of that toilet seat, you have another toilet seat that goes on top of the toilet seat that's much smaller. Yeah. It's like, I feel like I can make the hole with my hand. And I assume that that's for children. So, because they're small. They're smaller. No, no, no, no, no. No, no. Um, but, you know, you must look at that often. Do you ever try to see if you can do it? But, like, get everything that down. Yeah, I haven't tried that, actually. But there, so we, uh, the, the, the toilet seats. When we moved in, we got these special toilet seats for the kids. Yeah. But I can remove them. And the kids don't use them anymore. Right. But to Adam's

question, would you ever? Do you think about it? I have not even thought about it in seven years at this home. Really? Really? You thought about it immediately. I thought immediately. I was like, I wonder if I could do it. I wonder if I could get everything in there. Yeah. It's weird though, because there might be listening outside, but children's butts don't line up with a toilet the way an adult does.

Yeah, of course. That's why you have the thing. But no, even post thing, it's, so there's a lot more like, I don't ever remember having to clean the bowl of substance before the kids moved in. The kid's moved in.

Am I being delicate enough? Yeah, I think so. I think we're getting what's going on. I've been really filthy lately, though. You're looking at the filth king right now. Yeah, what's going on with you? Just filth. What do you like?

Your jokes are filthy? Yeah, what do you mean? Yeah, just like, I'm just in a filthy place. You're thinking about it and you're talking about it? Yeah, I'm looking at this toilet and I'm thinking, can I do that? Yeah. Can I do? Will I do it?

You're looking at, can I will I do it? Your eyes actually went over to an acoustic guitar. Can I do it? Yeah, could you get it in there In the little hole in there? A little hole in the acoustic guitar And through the strings Julian did it

This is what we'll do for Spy 1000 We will try to It'll be like limbo It gets smaller and smaller and smaller Until we can't do it anymore But we have to go to the bathroom Yeah

Yeah, but how many weeks This is going to take weeks Yeah That's what we'll do a countdown to a thousand And each episode will get smaller smaller With Graham will do a 24 hours of stand-up And we'll be doing that We'll come up on stage where we have to go

We'll be taking medication And we're feeding ourselves a lot Just to see how small it can go Yeah Sort of like what's the goal What's the smallest that you're hoping to get? Just until you can't anymore But what in your mind

What would you be the perfect size? I mean that acoustic guitar No I think you would want to go smaller than that Yeah, like shampoo bottle. Shampoo bottle. I mean, if you're taking medicine for it, it's probably coming out pretty well. But it's probably shampoo-like. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The shampoo bottle will be like, I remember this stuff. I know exactly. I got the muscle memory. Anyway, that. If we make it to a thousand episodes with our poo talk. Oh, man, the FCC is going to be all over this. Oh, no. That was also big news, Dave.

Yeah? And I have to ask you about this, too. No, no, no, you guys, I'm kind of a fly on the wall. I was, I'm like, oh, wow, if these walls could talk. That's what I am. I'm just kind of seeing what's going on. Now, Graham might have a better take on this, because he's not so much a Canadian football guy like I am. I'm the biggest Canadian football fan.

Oh, show me the way to the, you know what? I really don't like about it. The new rules. How about the new rules? New rules. I don't, I don't care about the rouge. Because I feel like. It's kind of embarrassing if you win a game on a missed field goal.

Yeah. But I like the longer field. I don't want them to change it and make it shorter. Yeah. I don't really care if the end zone's five shorter. Yeah. Because the NFL is only 10. And are they moving the width down?

The width is staying the same. The length is going to be short. Length is, yeah. Yeah. Okay. I think they've read like Askeret after dark about, and a lot of people said, actually the girth is good. And the length

It doesn't matter It doesn't And And Whoa Guys, did you hear this With the GERF? And then the other rules

New rule Length is worse than GERTH What do you think about the rules? I don't watch CFL And I was just wondering Because I know you're from the West Coast Oh I don't watch the CFL either

Okay I'll watch it if it's on You know, if it's on I won't turn my head If I'm at Boston Pizza Which I am every week I spend a I used to listen

Because you like the parogi pizza, right? I used to listen to Sports Talk Radio, and it was, I hated hearing about the CFL. Yeah. And I was so happy when, like, hockey training camp would start because you would get a little bit of hockey. We're back. Okay, Graham. I'm going to ask you this, but only because I'm forced to it by Dave. What do you think of the Jimmy Cummills coming back tonight?

Who is he tonight? Is it tonight? I think it's, oh, it's tomorrow. Tomorrow. Oh, I didn't hear any of this. And this? He's back. He's back.

He's back. He's back. No, I thought he was suspended and it was just going to be like forever. Hot news. Hot preemptive news. This will air one week after it actually happened. So perfect to talk about something that's happening currently right now. Do you think he's going to open with?

What have you guys been? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I did a thing. Yeah. He heard any good jokes lately. I'm glad he's back, but I think Jimmy Fallon really had a chance to do something there and he just didn't. What could Fallon have done?

He just could have stood behind. him just like everybody else did, but instead he did a funny little silly thing instead. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so he had a chance. Even Jay Leno came out of nowhere and supported Jimmy Kimmel. What? Even Jay Leno.

Who hates Jimmy Kimmel? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Why does he hate him? Because Jimmy Kimmel, like, made fun of him on a show. Oh. Oh, okay. With the Conan O'Brien.

And he pushed him down a hill. He pushed him down a hill. That, to me, is, that was the story of the year. And he poured a hot car oil on him. that's right he's burned by his car the thing that he loves the most lover's fat really yeah when Jay Leno turned the ignition to one of his

classic hot rods it exploded killing him you heard about that right he got burned by oil yeah he didn't mean that's a hacky joke sorry I apologize no I like it

that'll be good for clips we're clipping this there's cameras now oh god we gotta get cameras yeah no I didn't see the Jimmy Kimball I didn't see the Jimmy Falting I didn't really watch anything about it, but I read it in the news.

Did you know Jay Leno got burnt by oil? No. Yeah. A year or two ago, maybe before falling down the hill. Is he okay? He was fine, and then he fell down the hill, and he's back to square one again. That walking down the hill thing is so crazy. Because, I mean, it makes sense logistically, but also it's like, hire somebody to drive

you the long way around instead of having to go down an embankment. Because he was like, he was outside Pittsburgh, and he was playing a show. Yeah. And, but he was staying at a hotel near the highway and he wanted to go to a restaurant on the other side of the highway or something. Man, that's, that always sucks. Yeah. When you're in a hotel and you're like, oh, I can just walk over there and it's actually going to be 30 minutes. Yeah.

You can see where you want to have Earl. Do you want to have Montana Steakhouse? What if that's what he was walking? I want to have Earls at Montana Steakhouse. Imagine watching Jay Leno emerge from, like, the woods. Like, you'd be like, there's a guy coming out of him. It's Jay Lando. Did you see what happens?

He's Jay walking out of the woods. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. He, um, that we should have closed on that. I know. That's really good. Let's just check the timer. Yeah, it's about time. Yeah.

Good night, everyone. Um, yeah, so, you know, I'm excited. I'm excited by the whole thing. Yeah. Um, but then there was something, somehow connected to NFL, this, like, this, uh, partnership that's forming with Disney and something else there's like NFL's baked in there somehow. What? Yeah.

Jimmy Kimball and the NFL are baked into what's happening right now? It's all in the same. Is the CFL involved? Is this why they're changing all the rules? They said, we'll bring back Jimmy Kilble, but you have to take the CFL off our hands. Oh, God. Yeah. Is this why Gutterball Alley was canceled? Because it's a conglomerate with the CFL?

What's Gutterball Alley? What's Gutterball Alley? What's a TV show on the Comedy Network? We're comics would bowl. Yeah. This was like the first year of Comedy Network. Yeah, it was keys to the VIP. Yeah. Which was a show of the pickup artists having to do wacky things.

That was on at the same time that John Dorr had his show because I remember asking him about it. Tom Green had a show. Yep. The devil's advocates had a show. The devil's advocates, which were two devils who were-devil. Were they puppets? No, no, no. There were two men dressed as devils.

They got their start on Speaker's Corner. Yeah. And then. That doesn't mean they couldn't be puppets. That's true. Kevin Spencer was a cartel. Yes, yes, yes. Was that?

Butch Patrick P.I. was one of them. Oh, yeah. Butch Patrick P.I. Yeah. With a guy from the monsters. No, Bush Patterson. Butch Patterson, P.I. Yeah.

Wow. It would have been nice to get on the ground floor. Hey, here's a Canadian joke. Dave, go on. Go for it. Magnum P.E.I. Yeah, nice. Oh, God.

Yeah. I bet you that's how they put. Pitched Republic of Doyle. Like, wrote it on a whiteboard. Giankevichie wrote it on a board. No! Do you know how he got his, like, radio show? No.

What? Like, they were pitching ideas for what this new show should be, and he just, like, took a marker and wrote on the whiteboard, celebrities. That's what the show should be. It's like the James Cameron, the famed James Cameron thing with the whiteboard. What did James Cameron do? You wrote Alien on the whiteboard, and then he wrote a dollar sign after it. Aliens.

Oh, aliens. Money. Whoa, that's really good. Yeah. Huh. What did you do for Alien, Alien 3? He didn't, he wasn't. That was David Fincher.

Oh, yeah. David just wrote the number seven on the board. Yeah, well, please can I do movies I like after this? Oh, God. God bless us all. Really? Now, Adam, go on. Adam, right, Dave?

What's going on with you? What's going on with me? Well, I'm currently on tour in British Columbia, Canada. And you are doing, you're like, go in front of an audience with a microphone. Yeah, that's right. And then you talk about poo? Little speeches. No, I don't think there's any poo talking.

Well, you said you've been filthy lately. Yeah, I have. I've been really nasty. But it's offstage more than I think. Offstage, I've been nasty. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're on, are you, would you consider yourself of a, like, a clean comic or No, no, I can do.

Yeah, I'm a chameleon. Oh, I don't know how many corporate bookers are listening. They listen to the show, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. R. W and company is, uh, R2W company. The poor man's club, Monaco. Do you do many corporates? No.

No. No. I often don't do well at them whenever I go. Yeah. If I'm offered them, I kind of just trail off. a bit and be like, yeah, I'll do it for $5,000 or something like that. And, yeah, so I don't really do them, but the one time I did one that was exactly perfect was a retired CBC audio engineers. And I walked to the room and it was like a hundred of me.

And when they saw me come in, they were like, yes. It's like a casting call for guys to play you. Do you do corporates? Not a lot. Not since R.W. and Co. went out of business. R.W. I actually have a joke about R.W. and Co. My new album, I think.

You? Well, yeah. What's the substance of this? Just I asked for pants and they didn't have my size and nobody has my size of pants. Because, again, it doesn't make sense. Where do you get? 30.35.

Good question. 3035. Wow. Yeah, yeah. But like, do you have to go to a special website? What do you, how do you get your pants? Yeah, I have to go to a. Wait, you're not wearing any right now.

I have to go to a gap. Gap. Dot tall. Do you, have you tried, like, eating more food? No, what would happen? You probably get a 32, 35. Yeah, that would be good. But then once we started taking that poo in a guitar medication,

we are going to be shedding. Shampoo bottle is the goal. That's the goal. I wonder if there's going to be a shampoo bottle. You mean the tiny little squeeze? No, no. You can unscrew it. Oh, okay.

So that'll buy me a... Oh, and then the final one, the thing that you blow bubbles through. Whoa. There's a bubble wand. That's the ultimate. There must be a Guinness Book of World Record. Smallest hold of Pee and Poo in at the same time.

Wait, at the same time? Yeah, I thought that's what we were talking about. Cloaca style. Are we not on the same page? We were just talking poo. I thought. No, I kept saying both things, Pee and Poo. I don't know.

At the same time? At the same time? When you go to the bathroom? I mean, you've got to do it. You do it at the same time. I must have blacked out for the times, multiple times. You apparently said both things at the same time. You've been looking at me this entire episode.

And it's weird because there's another person. So you've, go ahead. Well, I've done corporates. Yeah. I used to have an agent who would get me corporates and you'd go. And I don't know if you've experienced this. I don't know why my hand is like I'm trying to. I'm touching your hand.

That's really nice. That's nice. Um, but, uh, they would go, you have to do this gig. It's this much money. And then they go, do not swear. Don't say a single swear word or off base thing. Or slur. Or slur.

Don't do anything. And then, so a bunch of Polax. Ah, come on. Knock it off of them. Yeah. Oh, what are you guys? Work at R.W. And go, you polax.

But then you'd get to the gig and you'd meet the guy who's booking the show, the boss. And he'd be like, look at these fucking idiots. Come on in, boys. And we'd like, oh. What's the thing? And you'd be like, no, please swear. Please say a slur. Please do all these things.

They'd want you to do things that you would never say. Yeah. They'd be like, there's a guy who works here. Please kill him. And you'd be like, no, I don't want to. Have you ever had that where somebody said before a set, corporate or otherwise, please make fun of this person? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you do it? No, no, no. I did. Or usually I make fun of the person who said that. I go, did you know that this person wants me to make fun of you? That's fun. You should get better friends. Yeah.

Because that guy's mean. I did it. Some guy asked me to do it, and I did it, and it was a lot of fun. Oh, wow. Because it was a guy there who was at the Rio Theater, and he was there with his son, and his son's grown up on what online comedy looks like. So he was upset that he wasn't getting roasted. Right. So then at the intermission, I talked to the guy, and he's like, do you mind like roasting my son?

Like, he's really upset that he'll be over the movies. And so I just really laid into him. Guys, I'll be right back. Keep going. Bye-bye. But I have, I think there's been one circumstance. where someone has said, like, my friend, everyone knows him in the audience. Yeah.

He works here. Say something about how he loves Portuguese chicken. Right. And everyone's going to go buck wild. And then like, you know, you get 20 minutes through your set and you're like doing your thing and you're like, so anyway, this guy's looking like he's looking at me like a big Portuguese chicken. And it's dead, dead quiet. Silence. That guy was killed by a Portuguese chicken.

You've been set up, man. But, and then the guy's, like, next to him is like, yeah, but it's like, no one knows this man. No. This guy's not a popular guy around the office. Yeah. Anytime I try to do, like, if I've done research about a thing, I'll end up doing a joke about a thing that the company doesn't know. Like, this isn't this department. Yeah.

It happens in another country. Oh, Dave, you're back and you're covered in blood. What happened? I left the barbecue on. From, from, what? From before you got here. Whoa. So, well, after you cook something on the barbecue,

I had to, like, pre-make dinner because I'm recording this while dinner's happening. Yeah. And so, you know, I cooked some chicken. You take it out of the barbecue. You leave the barbecue on for five minutes to cook off any little excess bit. But I left it on for about 40. Are you guys having a, you're having a nacho? Yeah, we're having a nach.

And there's a, there's a Post-it note on. On the nachos. Like, there's food and there's a post-a-note on top of the food. That's right. Can you explain? So I made two trays of nachos. One small, one big. One small, one big.

Everyone likes different things on their nachos. I do, well, the kids do chicken and cheese. Abby does chicken cheese and beans. I do chicken cheese beans and olives. Do you guys do any green onion on there ever? No. Oh, all right. Shredded lettuce?

Yeah, we shred a lettuce. Sneaky dees, baby. Downtown Toronto. No, no. Sneaky Dee still at it? Sneaky Dee still at it. Yes. It's going to be knocked down to be a condo, but sneaky deed might survive.

Is that the base of the condo? Base of the condo. Ooh, you love a base of the condo. Fox and fiddle or something like that. Oh, sure. Favorite part of the city. Woo! Yeah, the base of the condo, as long as the girth is right.

That's all in that. And I'll do cut up tomato and sprinkle that on. After, after it's done? After. Yeah, yeah. Did they do the lettuce after? After after? After, yeah.

And I actually don't like it. I wish they wouldn't. That sounds bad. But I love all of it. What's your favorite place that's been torn down? All of it is apparently not supposed to be part of it. For the condos. What's my favorite place that's been torn down?

To make way for God. The Wall City of Atlantis, I think. Yeah, there's a freshie there. Five, five floors. Much burrito. That's my favorite place. Do you know what Graham, the first time Graham and I went to Toronto, how we described the city?

How? This is Mr. Sub Country. I wish. I think that's factually inaccurate. At the time, at the time. Really? Sure. We don't have them.

We have one out here. I love Mr. Subb. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe mushrooms. Yeah. Subway stinks.

It's like on the whole ranking of the tier rankings, and you know what I'm talking about, Discord. On the tier rankings on the subway is S tier. No, Subway's bottom, bottom, F tier, worst. What is the, what, what? What do you include in the rankings? Are we talking all fast food? All fast food, but not gourmet fast food, yep.

Okay. What do you consider gourmet fast food? Well, if gourmet fast food would be, hmm, let me think, um, um, like is A and W five guys would be, it's not fast food to me. Okay. That's like a nicer upscale burger joint. Okay. But Wendy's is, uh, I would consider S tier on the fast food chain.

Is S tier good? S tier's the top. And then it goes A tier. It's the same system is Canada Fitness. where you would do your annual fitness test in school and you'd get a gold and they'd be like actually gold is second best excellent is above gold

It was excellent silver colored or? No silver was silver Ah damn it Excellent was I forget But S tier so it goes like It's all the letter grades ABC But S is like The top top

Significant Supreme I don't know Saskatchewan No it means something What do S tier Yeah I don't know Saskatchew

Yeah, S Club. Yeah, the subway in our neighborhood, it's fallen apart. Yeah. Their sign is falling apart. Their sign is coming down. And it's like under new management, I'm like, the new management is even worse than the old management. Old management was driving this into the ground.

But yeah. What else is in the S-tier fast food for you? Really interesting question. Really, really interesting. Wendy's definitely up there. You know, and W used to be in the S-tier, but I think it's to bump down to about B-tier. Because they're garbage now. It used to be so nice and now it's bullshit.

Well, how? Tell me all about it. Every A and W used to be sub like in Subway in the late 90s. You mean the restaurants itself are clean? Yeah, they used to be beautifully clean, spotless, fresh food. Toronto, though, Toronto's got some, like there's A&Ws on every corner and they're all filled with a thousand people trying to plug in. And I will say like Wendy's is S tier food for me, but I don't think it's clean inside. I drive through.

What's the top Wendy's in the Vancouver Burnaby region? Oh, there's not very many. There's one at 8th and Camby, not too far from here. City Hall, it's if City Hall wants to go grab a burger, that's where they go. There's going to be a crispy cream across the street from there. Oh, gross. And there is a... D tier.

And there's one on Grandview and Boundary. Yeah, that's right between Burnaby. You can hit any of the... those locations. And then the Marine Drive. Oh, you know what I've noticed on my on my travels recently in BC? Big Arby's province. Really? Yeah, more Arby's than I've ever seen in my life. Maybe if you get out of Vancouver, there's only one. There's only one. Oh, really? Well, Colonna, they love, in the interior, they love a roast beef sandwich. Yeah. Yeah. Colonna is it's, how does Katie Ellen describe it? It's like if Flink 182 around a city.

It's the most accurate assessment of a town I've ever heard. Yeah, it's very, it's very, It's like, it's like, surprisingly, interior BC is surprisingly, like, conservative. Like, there was guys wearing, like, full cowboy hats in the audience of the show. Yeah. Yeah. It's not that surprising to me. Right. Where are you from again?

Vancouver. Right. But, yeah, it was, it's a lot of people with cowboys hats? There's people of cowboy hats. Oh, really? I think it's a desert land. People think that they are in Yellowstone on an emcee. And they're, like, people were, they were raised a big stink when the Canucks were against the Oilers in

in the playoffs. people were in Colonna were putting up pro-oiler material What? Really? Like there would be restaurants saying go-oilers. Do you see there's a little toilet next to me? This is the goal. This is the goal. Oh my God. There's a little Lego toilet. Oh, that's it.

That's the goal. See, if we had, could we post this in the Facebook group? Yeah, let me get a photo of that. Yeah, this is the one. I can't believe this. Can I zoom in on it? Oh my God. Do you have Tara, Kate planchette a phone sticker I do, yeah

Are you a tar fan? I love tar It was my top movie of 2003 Yeah Are you a big tar guy Look at his phone What?

Oh my God And his water bottle Did you know Tom Henry got But painted me a photo of tar Really? No Yes I love

Lydia tar Lydia tar Why are you guys So in love with tar? It's a fantastic film It's just a vibe It's a vibe, okay Yeah

It's a tar thing, Graham You wouldn't understand What was your favorite movie of 2003? This guy liked past lives. Oh, no! I don't even know what past lives is. What is past lives?

It's a movie about a woman who dates two boring men and has to choose between one of them. But it doesn't ever have to choose. Like, it's pretty clear she's just going to stay with the one she's married. Yeah, they're the most boring men in the world. And it was nominated for the Academy Award. Oh, past lives. I think if you go back and look at,

Academy Award winners. There's some real stinkers in there that at the time there was hype around them. But if you see them out of that context, you're like this movie. Like there's some undeniable good ones like Driving Myth Daisy. Yeah. But, yeah, there's some bad ones. Past lives. Past lives.

Yeah. So I've been told. I do love the end of the year when we get into those, the buzz. The bus. Yeah, the best of this. Oh, yeah. Best of. And even if it's like, even if it's disappointing.

and not a movie I like. I still like to be in the conversation. And then talk to Graham about movies and he's like, I don't know. Wait, Graham, are you not a film man? I love movies. Oh, okay. But I very rarely go and see a prestige film. Oh, really?

Not out of avoidance, but I just very often, all the nominees will be like, I haven't heard of any of these. Interesting. Yeah. Huh. Yeah, I'm more like a guy that, like, if they make a remake of the clumps. Like, that's the kind of movie. Yeah, they're remade.

With Pete Davidson. He would be a good choice. The clubs. Oh, God. So what was your favorite movie of this year? This year so far? I've got to say, I really, really liked weapons. I loved weapons.

Yeah. Oh, God. It's like, there's a lot of movies that I'll see and then I'll remember them vaguely, but weapons I'll remember every second of it. Yeah. So crazy. The way they run, too, is so fun. Yeah.

I haven't tried running like that. that. Maybe I should. Oh, run around the studio of this room. I want to see people running like that on Halloween. Yes. Yes. They should make that a rule of the CFL. Everyone, if you're not holding the ball, you have to run like you're in weapons.

Like the weapons kids. At least a weapons week to celebrate some of the films of this year. That's one of the new rules. Have a weapons week. There can be a long walk week where everyone's walking. And if you walk slower than three miles per hour, you get shot in the head. Is that the premise of the walk? The long walk, yeah.

Long walk. So why are they doing it? Why are they on this box? Because society has collapsed. Oh, so they have to do. And America is in shambles. So once a year. Oh, is this fiction?

Or is it a way? Is this really happening? Dave writes for Bill Maher. Every week. I fax in some jokes like Johnny Carson. But yes, the premise is 50 kids from 50 states walk until there's one remaining walker. Right.

So they walk for like 300 miles until one is the last survivor and they win a big amount of money. Okay. And they also win a wish. And I think they won the world. Do they win it for themselves or for the, their state? I think that, good question. I don't know.

It could be either. So is this wish or this is a magical wish? No, it's not a magical wish. It's just like, I wish that. I wish I could poo into the tiniest hole and pee at the same time, apparently. Not apparently Check the tape I don't think that's doable

I can't even do that Relative book What do you mean Oh yeah Your butthole is famously Way back right But so if In this long walk

Oh yeah Way back Yeah Oh you know Dave's legs go all the way up And his butt hole goes all the way back That's why we wear a scarf So you can't see it.

That's why we're such high collars. Yeah, that's why you wear that red ribbon around your neck. In the long walk universe where they get this money, how do they protect it if it's a lawless society? Oh, good question. They don't explain that at all. Like if they give them a bag of money. Like, first of all, they just walk 300 miles, so they're exhausted.

And they can probably eat transfer. Society's falling in for everybody's transfers. Yeah. Password is the comedy show we both did. That's a bit inside. What is, I just watched the third diehard movie. Oh, yeah. I've never seen that.

Oh, it's good. The one was Samuel Jackson? Is that with a vengeance? Yeah, it's with a vengeance. You want to know a fact about that movie? Yeah. It was originally written as Simon says. Yeah, and then they just turned it into a diehard movie.

Wait, the movie with Dennis Rodman? No. No. it's uh so in the movie and dain cook do you guys know this film Simon says uh I know no

I know most Dennis Rodman Dane Cook co-features but not that one yeah they were kind of the they were in pass on Tucker of our day let me look it up Simon says movie so sorry nope that's not it

I think it says uh S E Z look that up oh like the Pez Murray Pez the former owner of the BG Lions check it out it's definitely Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook.

Wow. Yeah. Deep bull. Yeah. Well, I'm a big Dane head. Yeah. What name your favorite Dane movies. Waiting.

Simon says one time... Good luck, Chuck. Good luck, Chuck. My favorite Dane Cook joke, he goes, used to meet a bad relationship. You know what I call that? A relationship. And piss. In a tiny toilet.

He was, you know what? Looking back, he was fine. You know what? I think if you put it on Harful If Swallowed Now, I think you laugh At some of those There's some things I remember I just like he does this one aside

In one of his jokes And he's like, you know, back in the day Which was a Tuesday It's like, oh that's funny Oh yeah, did you know that When people say back in the day They made Tuesday? And also a Burger King joke

BK Lounge And a Pickles Listen, give Dana's flowers Yeah, yeah Give him his super finger Give him his superficke Sufi. He had a bit that somehow involved Bob Barker being held up with strings and then getting caught in the strings.

And it made me lose my mind. God, that was so funny. But the premise of this movie, Die Hard 3, Die Hard with a vengeance. Yep. Is that Hans Gruber, Die Hard One's brother. Yeah. Jeremy Irons plays his brother. Yeah.

Jeff Gruber or whatever. Yeah. And there's a bunch of riddles that Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson have to solve. And it's while it's all this while he's trying to like steal $150 billion worth of gold. Yeah. And it's all a smokescreen so that he can steal this gold. Oh. And Bruce Willis, nobody does wearing an undershirt getting filthy.

And he's like, he plays hungover. It must be fun to, like, not have to worry. Like, you can actually, like, get a bad night's sleep and be like, oh, it's fine. I'll look fine tomorrow because I'm supposed to look bad. Like shit, yeah. But I was, like, I watched it. And I loved it. I saw it in the theater when I was a kid.

And I watched it this time. And I was like, this is still really good, except for the. Were you serious on the truck? No, that might, uh, is that in that? I don't remember. Yeah. But at the end, he, like, wants to steal all this money. It's like, you're not going to get away with $140 billion in gold stolen from multiple

countries. They, like, from the governments of, like, every country, they're going to come and kill. Like, you know what? They don't even get the chance because you know who's there? Who? Die hard. Die hard. Yeah.

Oh, no. And he kills him. Yeah. Well, no spoilers. The spoilers. You can well assume. Yeah. He gets his guy.

Yeah. DiHart 2. Very bad. Simon says... DiHard 2 is bad. Yeah. In French, Simon Tez is softage explosive.

So wait, what is Simon says? What do you mean? So he's always saying Simon says do this. Yeah, so he... Oh, so the movie was supposed to be a movie called Simon Says, but they were just like... Oh. And they, uh, the screenwriter was like, you know, I could, uh, for a couple extra bucks, I could turn this character into diehard.

It's like Mario 2. Because Mario 2 was a different... They made Super Mario Brothers, too. Oh, the video game. In Japan. And it was too hard for us because we're too stupid to complete a game like that. So they took an already existing game with, like, you know, birds that shoot eggs out of their mouths and turnips. And they're like, this is Mario Turnips.

Yeah, just sell that. Oh, okay. And have you heard that this America? You guys will know this because you were the second podcast. The first podcast was This American Life, as you know. And you guys were inspired and you got to get it. This American Life, that was the one where Ricky Jervais and his dumb friends. Exactly.

Oh man But That Carl Pilkington Yeah It's pretty funny Oh yeah That podcast is great I love that podcast

Yeah But there was an episode once About the screenwriter Who won all these Screenwriting Awards Do you remember this And they It was like on the blacklist

Or whatever And they like wrote this screenplay I might be getting this wrong But they wrote a screenplay That like did really well Like went nowhere And then suddenly

Someone called them up And they were like Did you know Your movie's getting made And they were like what And they're like Yes And they're like it's being

made and it's called dirty dancing to Havana nights. So they took their screenplay and made into dirty dancing too. Without them knowing, it's the weird thing. Without them knowing, yeah. And famously, uh, dirty dancing is famous for everything except Patrick's, uh, Swayze and what's her name? Jennifer Gray. Um, like, it doesn't matter that they were the leads in the first one.

You just get any old person. Yeah, it's a great. Yeah. As long as there's dancing and it's dirty. I'll be there front row front row in the theater Have you seen hurting my neck Front row side

Have you seen the sequel to Saturday Night Fever Staying Alive? No That's still him though right Yeah right He becomes a Broadway dancer Oh And the movie is great because the person

Who directed it has no idea What a Broadway musical looks like And it's the best I thought you didn't like prestige film You got me there Do you like the prestige? Yeah do you? Yeah I do like the pretext

the prestige. Yeah, that was good. Yeah. So you didn't like, you wouldn't see like, um, the brutalist. You were like, no. No, Dave said that it was, it was about the brutalist thing I saw last year. Oh, Dave. Give me a little bit of that.

Did you like it? You know what? I liked the first half and then, I did not like the second half. I didn't, I didn't see it. Oh, really? I usually like to see all the Oscar movies, but last year I didn't want to because I didn't want to see that. I didn't want to see Amelia Perez.

I didn't see that either. Yeah. What was Amelia Perez? Amelia Perez was a time and a controversial musical. What was, why was it controversial? I can't remember. And it was a musical? Yeah, it was a musical.

I think it's like, it was like culture. I can't remember it. It was in Spanish, wasn't it? Selina Gomez was in it? Was she? I think she was in it and then. Yeah, sure you didn't watch. You seem like to know a lot about this.

And then what's the, I don't keep up with internet. Who's the woman who was in? Cardians of the Galaxy and Nardward, Nardwar, Nardwar, Nardwar, that's the next generation. Navitar. Nardwar just dropped a Chey Gildress Alexander episode two days.

Zoe Saldana was in as well. Zoe Saldana, yes, yes. You know what's saying? I don't really like musicals all that much. No, what's your, what's your least favorite musical? My least favorite musical? Ooh, my least favorite musical. Probably the back to the future musical

that I took my girlfriend to in Toronto, Ontario. That exists. She's a big fan. and there's many songs about believing in yourself, which really isn't a theme in the movie at all. That was, I took my kids to Elf the musical last year, and there were too many songs about believing in the magic of Christmas,

which is the theme. Yeah. No, the back to the future of the musical, I actually asked for a refund. Really? Well, because the ending big, like, set piece was the, the Dolorian hitting, the bolt of lightning

and traveling back into the future You're dapping. And the... Yeah. I'm daffing. And I... Now you're flossick.

So it was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be the spectacular, like, uh, like effect. And just the theater just went black. And nothing happened. And then you can hear a guy being like,

to the left, to the left, to the left. It was just... Every the guy on the box to the left. And then we could hear stage hands like a wheel this whatever set piece. Yeah, literally squeak off. And then the lights came back on after I would say, it was probably only two minutes, but it felt like 10 hours.

Doc Brown being like, they did it. We were like, oh my God. So I sent a message to Mervish saying, hello, I spent a lot of money on these tickets. And first of all, I didn't like the show at all. And second of all, it didn't work. So can I have my money back? And they said, no. really yeah huh the good people at Mervish yeah yeah was this a play that debuted in

Toronto or was this on a Broadway stage I have no idea huh back to the future of the musical it's very poorly reviewed you liked uh because they everything or not everything obviously but so many like successful movies there's like lots of musical fire yeah yeah and sometimes it works but like you liked beetle juice yeah the beetle juice one oh yeah yeah with uh Colette uh Justin Colette? I don't know. I think he's in that. He's like,

I don't know how he can sing the whole show like this. Right. How do people do that? Is it, have you ever done any voice acting? No. No, me neither.

No, I got embarrassed out of my first voice acting thing. What happened? Well, they told me to do it and then I did it three times. And then the woman goes, well, that was a good test run, I guess. Really insulted me. And you left? I left.

No. Yeah. You walked out? Yeah, I walked out. I was just embarrassed. I was like 23 years old. And I was just like, insulted.

Huh. Someone screamed at me at a bar the other day. What happened? And you left? I left. I went to a bar and the bartender goes, I go,

how are you? And I couldn't hear her. The music was loud. She goes, ah, I don't know, human experience. And I just went,

I hear that. I sat down. And then another person came to the bar and they go, how are you doing? And then she went, I'm glad a person who actually cares about what I think is here

because I just told that fucking asshole that I want to kill myself. And he said, he just shrugged it off. I was like, what? And she was like, yeah, this guy's a piece of shit. I was like, uh, I didn't hear, what? Me?

And she was like, yeah, you're a fucking asshole. I was like, I'm out of here. I'm getting the hell out of here. This is crazy. Is that true? Yes. Oh, I would just, all the adrenaline left my bra. I was like, I was like stunned.

I was like, I can't stay here. No way. Yes. Is this a Boston pizza? No. Because that is like, because I have that too where I'm like at a, if in a loud place, I can't hear the person. And I'm just like, okay, well, whatever.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah. And then, but that's like the nightmare version of that. Yes. That's the worst way it could have gone. Yeah, because also when someone goes, duh, duh, human experience, you go, yeah. Like, no one goes, well, I want to kill myself, human experience.

Like, you don't hear that. All right. Have a good night. But like, why would a bartender, that's something that a patron would say to a bartender, not the other way. You're not supposed to be respect to them. Don't burden me with your problems. Yeah. What the hell?

You should have asked for your money back. This is bullshit. I'm the guy. I'm going to kill my self. But yeah, I got screamed at. That's insane. Yeah, it was crazy. Was that here in the city or that was in...

It was in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Oh, sure. Really? Yeah, give the bar a shout-out. No, I'll do it off air. I was in a castle. Because we'll all laugh, but... Was it Mervish-owned?

Yeah, it was the Queen Elizabeth Theater. What was the last time you got shouted at? Shouted at? Yeah, by like a... a civilian. Oh, boy, I don't know. I do. Oh, there was a guy, my dogs kind of like jumped out at a guy a couple years ago.

And I had my headphones on and he was like, whoa. And I went, uh-huh. And he's like, that's not funny. Like, I was just laughed nervously. Oh. And he was like, that's not funny. I was like, I am. Sorry.

And I'm just, my dogs are freaking out. I'm trying to get out of the way. And I'm like, whoa. What do I stand here and just let me? this guy yell at me while my dog's freak out? What about you? I was the last time someone yelled at you. I was the time that somebody yelled at me.

It's been a while. I remember yelling at somebody whose dog was attacking my friend Alicia Tobin's dog, and I yelled at her, and I used the C word. So I went, oh. Yeah. What? Yeah. You?

Yeah. Wow. It called for it. I wouldn't, I would never have if it didn't, but, uh, yeah, she was being a C. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah, right? Do you guys ever use that word?

Once in grade eight. And? Felt bad? Then I was told me, we don't answer this as a Wendy's. S tier. S tier, not C tier. Arbys, what tier? B.

B tier. I like Arby's. I've only had it a couple times. Horsy sauce. What's the absolute bottom of the barrel? Oh, Subway. Subway. They use, like, yoga mat in it.

It's gross. Oh, don't say that. Like, when they, when they open the door, you get, when you get hit with the smell of a subway, it's just like, really? Yeah, we love the smell and don't like the taste. We, I personally wish the, the, the food actually tasted like the smell. Wow. Yeah. It's, uh, it's, it's a, it's there, you know?

I mean, what do you get? What's your go-to subway order? Uh, it would be a veggie. Right, you're a vegetarian. And then I'd ask for a little pizza sauce on it. Ooh. Put it in the oven. Oh.

Yeah, you're eating there. Yeah, a little treat. Yeah, for me, I usually get six or seven foot longs. Because you're always supposed to get a party. No, I just love the place. S-tier. Did you ever eat from a giant sub? No.

Have I ever? Yeah. And you can't pour from an empty cup and you can't eat from a giant sub. That's true. Have you? Yeah. It was awesome. Yeah, it's great.

Yeah. What, where did you pull from? Middle. Middle. Yeah. Where do they? The veggie section? Uh, well, it wasn't at the time I was in a veggie.

And at the time, it wasn't subway. It was like, like, limbys or something like that. Yeah. I don't know how they do it. Do they, because they must need a big oven, big long oven to make the bread that thing. It's true. Yeah. But, and I don't know how they transport it.

I don't remember. Have you seen the old commercial with Scotty Pippen for, yes, for a sub place? No. No, let's watch it right now. Yeah, it is really good. Please. Pull it up. It'll blow your mind, actually.

Like, it's, all of it is amazing. Wow. This is, uh, keep in mind, this is the time where his teammate, Michael Jordan, yeah, is doing a very high budget commercials. Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Okay, so. There's an ad before the ad.

Oh, my God. Are we going to be able to hear? Chicago's a regional suburb. Wow. This is one six foot. I can't hound a one-on-one. Ladies, let's have a party. Choose for Mr. Submarine's great lineup of your favorite subs.

Mr. Submarine's King's High Sub, a regular sub piled high with your favorite... Just sitting on the floor. For the best-tasting meal around, Mr. Submarine is the real stuff. He dunks the sub! So just to narrate for the listener, we see Scotty Pippet at the beginning of the commercial. There's a giant sub... We just got to say Dave's algorithm. And the thing that came up after was the top ten ugliest bass guitars.

Twelve top twelve ugliest bass guitars of all time. But sorry. I interrupted you, Graham, please. Scotty Pippin is talking about a vertical standing sob that he says this is a six-fur. I can't handle my own, which sounds like a sexual thing. Ladies, let's have a party. There's two cheerleaders he wants to. So then you see them all sitting on the ground, cross-legged, and eating sauce.

They're eating sandwich. Like extras in their own commercial. And then the girls say something to camera And then you see Scottie Piff is slamming a basketball But then it turns into a sub And then goes into that hat Then that's real Check it out

It's worth checking out Chicago's original It's their submarine It's Mr. Subcountry Dave, what's going with you? Well, speaking of food You know, I love this stuff Yeah

And I had two great food experiences this week Last Sunday, I hosted my whole family, my parents, my siblings, their kids. Once a year, I try to have everyone over and have a big taco night. Oh, delicious. And we make, I make a carne asada on the barbecue. Oh, God, it's been on for a week. Oh, shit, I'll be right back. I make some beans and some potato tacos for the vegetarians.

But the big showstopper. The showstopper that everyone seems. to ask me about that. Hey, Dave, what are we doing pie again? I do a couple of pies. Hmm. Yes. Ooh. And I do you make from scratch? I make pies from scratch. Dave makes a mean pie. Damn. And I made a, uh, blackberry pie. Okay. Because, uh, I go over to Gabriola Island every summer with Abby, uh, where her parents live and there's tons of blackberries there. So these are handpicked? There's a handpicked, handmaid pies. Nice. And then I'll do a, uh, uh, uh, key lime because it's easy. He lime. Yeah. It's easy? It's easy?

Yeah. Really? You just make your, you got to make the crust first. Okay. Out of graham crackers. Yep. Then you pour in the goo. Then you make the goo.

The goo's pretty easy. And then you gooo. You go and you put it in the fridge for a few hours. Oh, that's it. You ever made a pie? I think I've helped make a pie, but I don't think I've ever made a pie. Do you make pie? No.

No. Well, you just roll it and. Mark it with a D? Yeah, I guess so in this case. Wait, are you a vegan or just a vegetarian? Vegetarian. Right. So you can live in a world of fine.

But now he's a gluten. I can't eat gluten anymore. Oh. Yeah. I think it was, I think I had all the gluten I was allowed and then. And God was like, you're done. And then no more, no more gluten for you. And which God is that? Huh?

Which God? Raw. A sun god. The sun god. You didn't know Graham's a... He said it so quickly. It has to be true. He's an ancient Egyptian.

I still follow the teachings. I wear an onk. You know. He's always texting me in hieroglyphics. A lot of them are emojis these days. And also, if you listen to the message out loud, men standing sideways, hawkhead, pyramid, horse. Yeah.

And he only listens to the podcast of when they reconstructed the vet. The vocal cords? The vocal cords of... You've seen this video. No. Were they reconstructed the vocal chords of a pharaoh? No. Well, break it up.

Okay. Wait, any talks? Well, they were able to make it make one sound. One? Okay. What did we say? Farrow. Ferro larynx.

Or mummy? Whoa. Voice box, maybe? Okay, mummy voice. Yeah. Bovey talks like Beatles. Scientists were able to mimic Nessi Amun's voice by recreating his mouth and vocal chords with a 3D printer.

It allowed them to produce a single sound. Oh! No, that's not real. That's real. Yeah. That's it? That's not a funny video?

No, that's real. Oh, my God. Oh, man, you got to see these ugly faces. Oh! But is that fake? That's got to be fake. I've heard that I've always believed it was real. but now it might be fake.

Look, I don't care to know if it's fake. Leave it the way it is. Anyway. So you're making tacos. You're making pies. I'm making pies. And every year I sell out of pies. Every year, every year it all gets eaten up.

I'm always like, oh, maybe the next day I can make like breakfast burrito with the leftover taco stuff. No, can't do it. It all gets eaten. Oh, okay. And I'm like, oh, maybe I can have a little extra pie the next day. Pie always gets eaten. So this year I made two.

Can I take that again? Yes, you may. Oh, I hope that mean vocal voice of gig director. Well, that was, what did she say? Well, that was a nice little test, I guess. I wonder if she heard the mummy and was like, ooh, that's guys. Yeah. The goods.

After that. Do you only get to choose one noise? Go. after that test I'm going to kill myself and this guy doesn't even care I made three pies this year two blackberry one key lime and then unfortunately

some of my family couldn't come oh no and so I ended up with a whole pie to myself now this is first world problem yeah and so I made the pie on Saturday and I had a piece on Sunday

and I had a piece on of the second pie on Monday. Yeah. And a sensible lunch. And then another one on Tuesday. Yeah. And then another one on Wednesday. Uh-huh.

Then I had another piece of that pie on Thursday. Go on. And I was like, Hey. This sounds like a fairy tale. Maybe I should stop eating this week old pie. So no one else in your, because you have family who lives with you.

Yes. You don't live alone. This isn't a bachelor. Well, Abby, there was some leftover of the key lime and she had that. She had that. She prefers that. But do you let your children eat the pie? No.

They don't like the pie. They don't like pie. They don't like crust. Oh, yeah. Crest is great. But not liking pie. I feel like kids can not like pie. Yeah.

It's too gooey inside. As a kid, I didn't like pie until I was old. I love once pumpkin pie came on. Ooh, yeah. I do love. I always loved pumpkin pie. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, so I had to throw out a little bit of pie because I was just like, I just don't trust this pie anymore. I'm going to push it into somebody's face or something like that. Yeah, we could have done a thing for the for the clips. Yeah, I would have been good. So what was left, just one triangle?

No, two triangles. Two triangles. Okay. I cut it into sixth. Sixth. So two, sixths. Was there a temptation to eat like one pie in the morning and then one pie at night? Yeah.

Like have pie for breakfast and then pie post dinner? That's good. Yeah. Yeah, I really, I like pie. I like an afternoon coffee with a sweet treat. Oh. But it's summer, when it's hot in the summer, I don't want that afternoon coffee. Yeah.

We'd still want that sweet treat? I guess so, but I was having the pie as dessert with ice cream. Yeah. Nice. So that was part of, that was my first food experience of the week that I want to tell you about. Are we ready for the second food? I am, yes, I am ready. Yeah, I'll sit down.

I went to, I went to McDonald's this week and I tried their McVeggie. Oh, okay. There's a brand new sandwich in Canada. And it is a, we'll tell us all about it. I was expecting it to be a fake meat thing like you're beyond meat, like the A&W. Which went bankrupt. Did they? Yeah, beyond meat went bankrupt.

It did? Yep. Is it gone? I don't know if it's gone. I think I saw it in stores recently, but I think the company went bankrupt. What's A&W serving? NW? Yeah, they do beyond.

Oh, well, maybe it's still beyond. Also, I could be making this up. This is something my girlfriend told me. I know Eve's fake meat. They discontinued. Oh, that stuff was disgusting. Yeah, that was 90s fake meat. Yeah.

That wasn't even fake meat. Yeah. So, uh, it was not a fake, fake meat. Well, Eve's wasn't. No, no, the patty of the McDonald's. So the McDonald's one is not fake meat. It is, uh, a patty made of carrots and peas and things like that and soy. Okay.

Deep fried. Yeah. So it's like a McChicken made of peas. It's like, it's like a chicken made of peas. It's like, it's crispy. It's crispy. Okay. And it served McChicken style with mayonnaise and lettuce.

Okay. Sneaky D's style with lettuce on top. No ketchup, no mustard? No ketchup, no mustard. Okay, okay. No relish. No relish. Okay, sure.

And you eat it. You eat it and you go, huh, that was fine. Yeah. Oh. And then a half an hour later, you get a stomach ache, but it's nothing serious. Yeah. You're not running to the bathroom or anything. Just a little.

just a little grumbly. Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing is like McDonald's around the world, they serve different things based on the culture. Yeah.

And I don't understand why they didn't try a veggie thing until now. And why they don't just do a fake meat version of every sandwich they have fake meat Big Mac? Yeah. Why not?

Yeah. And of course it comes along after I can't eat gluten anymore. So I don't even get to enjoy. And they don't do a lettuce wrap at McDonald's, right? Because it's all shit. Yeah, that's right.

But even the deep fried coating is probably gluteny. Yeah. Yeah. That's a shame. It's a shame. Would you try it? No, but you know what I did try at McDonald's recently is we went to McDonald's and I had, they have like a Whopper type sandwich now.

Okay. Like they have a burger with lettuce and tomato, which typically tomato is not introduced on the hamburger of McDonald's. No, that's right. Unless it's the McDLT. The McDLT, which is discontinued. They discontinued it when? I don't know.

but Jason Alexander was in the commercial and he's been long dead RAP RIP. How did he die again? How did he die? He was on that submarine that went bad Oh, boom.

Yeah, yeah. He was the one who was like, maybe an Xbox controller. We should take this part out. Whoa! Let's look at 109.20, please. What's wrong with that? The tragic death of a bunch of people.

I don't know. to have a hard time. It's Adam, right? And we're back. Yeah. I, uh, when they, McDonald's did like an adult version of McDonald's. They were like, it's something that adult's.

It's not just for kids. And they made a thing called the Arch Deluxe and it had tomato and lettuce on. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Which I believe I went to Europe one time and they were still selling it in Europe. No way. Yeah, the Arch Deluxe is still there. Or it's called something else, but it is that burger.

Yeah. Well, they did their European menu this summer. here in Canada. Did they? Yeah. Yeah. What? And I got the McRohty.

Mick Rochety? Yeah. Or the big rochey. What? The big roche. Which had a hash brown on it. Oh, that's amazing. 800 calories.

Holy shit. That's awesome. There's my email. I would love that. Well, I've had a McCroch madame. Mm. What's that? Like a crock madame like, like, it's like a grill cheese sandwich that they make in France.

Oh, okay. And like generally I don't like it because it's, because it's like the oiliest sandwich you've ever had in your life. But I had the McDonald's one. It's also really oily and I didn't like it. I don't know.

I do know I add it. It's generally really oily, but I thought McDonald's would maybe figure that out. Wow. Can I just say, you guys are knocking at another park? You guys are the best podcast host in the world. Adam,

it's great. Whenever I'm, just good as our guest. Whenever I'm here, you guys are the funniest two guys. I've ever met my life. And people talk about you. They reverse shit talk you.

Oh, I was talking about you the other day. to people. Everybody loves you guys and I fucking love you. And I don't think... And I don't know if guests give you your flowers

and stop a podcast and it's dead heat. They don't. You guys are the best. Thanks. Oh my God, I left the oven on. Thank you for that. Thank you, Adam.

It's true. I've been looking forward to this when you sent me a message a few weeks ago saying, Dave, you're in town. I'm coming to town. We should like have a meal. And I was like,

I don't want to have a meal. I want to get on the damn pie. I feel like got too much pie to go have a bell. We could have both. But I was like... You could have off the pie.

I could have. Wait, when'd you throw in the garbage? Is it still up there? Yeah. I was looking

so forward to this episode, I got to tell you the last few guests. Oh. Davis holds his nose the whole time. Oh, they were

stinky. Yeah. It's a small room. Well, yeah. Small room, small hole for the toilet. And a lot of them missed.

A lot of them missed. Oh, God, damn. Anyway, so I had these burgers and check them out. Hell, yeah. It's called the McEvegy, and it's fine. Check them out. Graham, what's going on with you? I went this past week,

and this is the first time I've ever been in this place, but it wraps up me in every province of the country. I went to Prince Edward Island. Oh, you had never been. I'd never been. What did we say before that we both knew? I can't remember. No, I mean neither.

You'd never been to Prince Edward Island. No. Wow. Yeah. Okay, please, please. I was only there for a day. Okay. Ah.

But tried to pack in as much Prince Edward Island as they possibly could. Yep. An island famous for Anne of Green Gables. Anna Green Gables, which. Potatoes. Of soil red. Your muscles and your lobsters and whatnot. There's a band.

what band is from P.E.I. There's a big band. There is a big band for P.I. And I can't remember what they're called. Um, and then... Now my, uh, YouTube algorithm is feeding me screenlight with good lighting for streaming. It's just a ring light on it. It looks like a pretty good light. I mean, if you had the rest of the lights off. Um, is it two hours traffic? No. No, it's... They're pretty good.

It's not simple plan. Is it a boxer of the horse? No. Okay, sorry. I've, I've derailed. Well, Stomp and Tom Conner. He's from, he's from P.E.I. I think so. Whoa. He, uh, having to describe him to somebody, as we were talking about it, because he sings a song about a potato from Prince Edward Island. Uh, and trying to describe what stomping Tom Conner's is to a young person is insane. And you were doing like a library reading where you had to explain.

Exactly. I had to defend my thesis to a bunch of children. Who's stomped Tomlinus? Well, he's a cowboy man who brings a plank on stage and stomps his boot through it. Yeah, he's for children. He's for children. He's for children. It's like the bare naked ladies. It is for children. Well, it's, I think.

See, this is what you should cut out of the episode. People will be more mad about this than the submarine people. No, listen, I love the bare naked ladies, but when you hear them when you're 10, you're like, this is the most important band I've ever heard. It's true. And recently, I had to describe to a woman who's 20 years old who Mr. T was. Wow. And when you try to explain who Mr. T is, it sounds absolutely insane. Like, we know what it is, but if you're trying to describe it to somebody.

Oh, boy, I don't envy the fool who has to do that. I don't envy the fool. Who's today's Mr. T? There must be, he must be like an internet celebrity or something. Oh, yeah, Mr. Beast. Kaisenat. Ishae Show Speed? Who's Aitospeed?

He's a guy. He's a streamer. He was also very fast. But it's like Mr. T was a character, but he also was a guy at the same time. Oh, my God. It was the same as the character. I've talked about growing up in the 80s and how there were so many guys like that. Yes.

And how it confused me, like, is, okay, Mr. T is a Mr. T, but he's also a guy. But he's really, and he's our cartoon. And then Peewee Herman, is that a guy? Well, it's sort of a guy. And Max Headroom, is he a real guy? Yeah. Does he ever take it off? And what about you, Cindy Lopper?

Cindy Lop. Sure. Mr. T's daughter is doing stand-up now, and I don't know if she did a clip on Don't Tell, and I would recommend looking it up because she tells a really funny story about how Mr. T's are dead. That's all I'll say. Amazing. Yeah. It's really funny.

That's tonight's plan. Why were you explaining Mr. T to a 20-year-old? For Prince of a Royal Day. Yeah. That was, I was in, I was part of a puppet workshop. And at some point, one of the instructors is my age, Mr. T was brought up. And then there was a 20-year-old there. And she's like, who's Mr. T?

Right. Like, okay, where do I start? Have you seen Rocky 3? No. Okay. Have you ever heard of the A team? No. You've never seen a guy.

He's got lots of gold chains. No. Yeah. Why does he wear the gold chains? Great question. Yeah. He has a Mohawk. I pity the fool.

WrestleMania. I think he. Yeah, he was a wrestlingian. Yeah. Yeah, but none of it, like, makes any sense, you know what I mean? Yeah. So, yeah, Dompto O'Connor's, I believe, from PEI. Yep.

And I, like I said, I've never been there before, so I ate some potatoes. Yep. I can't have shellfish allergic. So, I have some potato. I know. Raw is really doing a number on you. Yeah. Yeah.

He's testing you. Why me, Raw? Yeah. You're like Job from the, well, I guess the Egyptian Bible. Um, so, uh, yeah, I went and I walked on a, on a red sand beach. Yep. Um, I, uh, have you been? Yep.

I had cows ice cream. Yes. Which is a big thing out there. Yep. Wow. In one day. Is that PEI? Is there, or is that all maritime is cows?

Cows is P. Yeah, cows are they're really big about it. You can get it in other places, but yeah. But the main. And so, uh, did you drive across the bridge. Yes. Yes. Yes, you did.

And so it was driving from New Brunswick. Yep. To P. I had to go across the. bridge and nobody in the car that I was in had been across the bridge so they were like hey Graham take a bunch of pictures of it and as soon as you get on it it's just a cement bridge you can't see anything yeah there's nothing to see yeah it's not romantic in any way it's awesome though it is awesome it's a really it's one of the longest bridges in the world question mark maybe yeah did you get um

those uh and of green gables braids yeah like Mickey Mouse ears I just got my own hair braided that way at the salon yeah yeah The Anagrengabels. Oh, and something I didn't realize, past guest, Yumi Nagashima, said that Anaghering Gables is gigantic in Japan. Right, yes. That Japanese people love.

Yeah, they did Anna Green Gables live at Buda Khan. Was that a charity event of some sort? No, it was just this epic 70s double album. Um, and then, uh, this was for the debaters. And during the debaters show, Steve Patterson queued the audience to sing a song called Bud the Spud. Everybody in the audience do the song and they all sang along. And I was like, we don't have that. We don't have a, uh, regional song that if you queued people up here,

Ontario has one kind of from the 70s, the Ontario. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, people don't know that though. I don't, I don't think. I would doubt that most people might. age, no. Does Alberta

have one? Not really. I mean, yeah, I don't know. Well, this is the thing I've talked about a lot

is that because I don't know what BC culture is. Probably it's on the totem pole of or like, total polls. That's one of them. Okay, well.

Yep, got hundreds of them out here. But I don't know. There's no letter Kenny for BC. There's no trailer park boys for BC. Portlandia is the closest, uh,

approximately. Vancouver, Washington. Yeah. Um, no, there isn't, uh, there isn't anything. It's underrepresented in Canadian, uh, culture and in, in the national Canadian culture dialogue on, uh, Canadian television. Yeah. Yes.

People don't know. I'm sure the, the, the, Ontario song would be something by the tragically hip. Yeah. Like Bob Cajun. Bob Cajun is a good. Yeah, Bob Cajun, yeah. I feel like when a, Manitoba has one. I hate Winnipeg.

A lot of people know that song. Oh, yeah. What do they play when the Leaf score a goal is there? Well, they used to play. Making my dreams come true But then they got rid of that Because we still didn't win the Stanley Cup So I think they tried to change it

A bunch last year The moment for the Kinecks they play Don't you Forget about me These are both terrible goal songs It's like It should be something like Because what's the team that does that song

That's like hey Hey hey hey hey Like that's cool That is cool Yeah Yeah Well the Kinex used to do It was a fan Halen song

Where they took out the vocals except for the maybe it ain't talking about love or something that just had anyway but then the

worst one was the Blackhawks had that song that was that da da da da da I like that I know but I hate them oh okay

so I hate that I'm currently mad at the Raptors because they've stopped playing Money City Maniacs at Raptors games they used to play Money City Maniacs whenever we'd go into the fourth corner and it was awesome

They don't do it anymore? Yeah and no they've stopped For any reason? They play like Thunder struck or something. Oh, no, I don't know. That's hacky. I know. It sucks. But sorry, so P. That's so much, like, were you so exhausted? I was exhausted by the end of it. Because you also did an episode of the debate. So, one night you were there. Yeah, one night. So, where were you

before? Like, Moncton? We were in St. John. St. John. And then you drove and then you did so beach, ice cream. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, but, bah, uh, potatoes. Did you go to Anne of Green Gables' house Did you go to Lucy Mofferson? Too far away. And somebody told me past guest John Cullen said

the house is you're done in three minutes and also it's not a real house It's not a real person It's not like the Anne Frank house It's like This is a fictional character's house And yeah

He said that the tour concludes with well you can wander around the woods And that's where Lucy Mott Montgomery And there's just like Jay Leno comes out And there's tons of Japanese couples trying to conceive of children

or not on the grounds. On the grounds. Did you do any, like, touristy stuff in New Brunswick? Do you go up Magnetic Hill? No, I was going to go to the reversing falls and somebody says it sucks, so don't go to it. Pay a Fundy. Bay of Fundy School. But it's, it was far away.

Yeah. No, I went to the world's largest lobster in Shadiak. Oh. And we drove past the Scotty plant that had a giant rotating roll of toilet paper. Whoa. But it was on the side of the highway. You couldn't stop to take a picture of it. Oh, okay.

But it was huge. Yeah. Yeah. The biggest in the world? Oh, it's got to be. Who else would claim it? I know Contnell. The people of Contnell.

I don't know if they have, like, a regional song for every province. Yep. Maybe Quebec has a few. The Just-ful-ast-themed song. But they. I remember my friend, past guest, Chris Kelly, is from New Brunswick. And I just, like, remember talking to him about, like, local songs that would get played at weddings. Like, here, if you were at a wedding, you would never hear the Rankin family.

But there you would absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And my brother and all of his friends at some point on the dance floor at their weddings was a song that baby let me smell your dick. And that, that's a tradition of once the friends. Yeah. Among the friends? Yeah.

Why are you coming home five in the morning? Yeah, yeah. Something going on. Can I smell your day? Yeah, yeah. I guess that's kind of our local. Maybe home for a rest by Spirit of the West? Yeah.

And, you know, in Saskatchewan it would be the Rough Riders. Oh. Green is the something. DMX. Oh, green is the color. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we had that too. Did we also have a BC one?

Well, like, yeah, I feel like there was a Vancouver white. White is the color. Soccer is the game. What about, what's that Swollen member song? Oh. And swollen always brings it. Oh, yeah, that's like a B-C song.

Mad Child. Moca only. Moca only and Prevail. Pervail. Yeah. So, yeah, I went and I did everything it possibly could do. Oh, and I also ate at the airport.

There's a place called Budleys, and I ate. Budleys, Spudleys. Yeah, Budley, Swettlies. And I had a nice, Did you fly out of PEI? I did. I flew out of there. Tiny little airport.

Where to? To Montreal. And then to Canada. Yeah. So are you? To Canada. Correct. Tried to trip you up.

That was a test. So are you, when you do travel, are you like this? Do you try to see as much as you possibly can when you go to a place? If it's a place I've never been to before. Right. Yes. You try to just itinerary. But you make an itinerary?

It's very stressful. Right. Yeah. But you've been to white horse enough that you don't need to. Yeah. I don't have to. Or like Ottawa. I don't go out of my way to do anything.

Because you've presumably done this. But like what's the city you've never been to before? Like Charlotte. Charlotte. Tristan. Yeah. We didn't even record in Charlotte Town. It was smaller.

So have you ever been to like Rome or Lisbon or Paris? I've been to Paris. Yes. And that was also. Paris, Ontario. Yeah. And that was an itinerary days long. Have you ever been?

It's beautiful. Baris, Ontario is beautiful. Is that? And I've said, I've been on record. London, Ontario is not. Awful. Worst. Yeah.

D tier. Yeah. Yeah. D tier. Absolutely. Um, yeah, I tried to do something here? And you get, and you, and you, so do you have full itinerary before you go? Do you have a Google Maps with different, uh, things highlighted?

No, I get something from the locals. They'll tell me where to go. Okay. I'll go to that thing. Because sometimes you go to a place and they've got a famous thing. And then the locals be like, Don't do the famous thing. Right.

There's a place a couple blocks away. How much research do you do before you go to a place? Very little. Very little. Okay. Okay. Although I was going to read Anna Green Gables before I went, but then I didn't. Life got in the way.

Huh? Life got in the way. That's right. Yeah. You want to make Raw laugh. There's a... Just tell them about your plan. Raw said Ha.

Ha. Oh, wow. Yeah, you're a good traveler. It was fun. It's a beautiful little town, friendly people. Oh, my God, so friendly. Are you a big traveler? Yeah, I love traveling.

And do you itinerize? Yeah, and I'm like that. And I will research beforehand. Yeah, yeah. What's been your, like, busiest itinerary of a place that you've been to? Oh, man. Well, I toured around the UK and every single day we get to a new place. We drive for three hours.

And then the headliner would go. and sleep because there was a show, Randy Fellface, and then I would go look at everything that you could ever see in Leeds, UK or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would like, in the car, I'd do like research on what to go to, like, where to have the pint, what's the best pub after the show, blah, blah, blah. But it's very exhausting. And you know what? I'm currently on tour with two 30-year-old comics, 28 and 30, Alex Handy and Kyle Patton, who are so funny. yeah and they are 10 years younger than I am and I am like it's the first time I've been like around people where I'm like I do not have as much energy as you guys do yeah so today like Alex has

never been to Vancouver so they're like walking around they're going to do stuff and I'm like I'm going to do this podcast and I'm going to go back to the Airbnb and like watch a movie yeah you guys like go crazy it's I can't do it yeah I feel like I'm not too far away from having either a doctor or a dentist or something that's much younger than me. The doctor thing I'm more worried about that if my doctor's like, oh yeah. Twenty-eight. That worries you? Yeah, I'll be like,

what do you know? What do you think? You haven't been around. And your doctor's like, oh, your body's not bussing. What do we think, chat? Well, should we move on to some overheard?

Sure. It's Sue the subway train Hey guess what Sue? I just inherited a game show And I have to continue it because There are people out there who like to curl up Into a ball and listen to it Yeah it's a podcast where listeners submit game show

Ideas for others to play on air Well it is In fact the dumber the better Right right it's called Dr. Game Show Some curled up balls consider it a tradition While others call it a train wreck no not you sue it's dr game show if you're the sort that likes to listen to people competing for refrigerator magnets then curl up into a ball and listen to dr game show every other wednesday maximum fun dot org are you a five-star batty if you answered yes then black people love paramour is the podcast for you contrary to the title we are not a podcast about the band paramour black people love paramour is a pop culture show about the common and uncommon interests of black people in order to help us feel

a little bit more scene. We are your co-hosts, Sequoia Holmes, Jewel Wicker, and Ryan Graham. And in each episode, we dissect one pop culture topic that mainstream media doesn't associate with the black people, but we know that we like. We get into topics like Gingerale, The Golden Girls, Black Romance, Uno, and so much more.

Tune in every other Thursday to the podcast that's dedicated to helping Black People feel more seen. Find Black People Love Paramore on Maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Overheard. Overheard. We hear it, we hear it, and then we all just leave it alone and never speak of it again. And if you out there have an overheard, it's nice of you to share it with us.

And we also like to ask the guest if they haven't overheard. Adam, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I was at a park in Colorado. Wait, wait, wait. Yep. An hour ago, you did not have an overheard. That's right. So it is possible.

I've just been on autopilot this whole hour. You were just in a fugue state. I haven't heard a word anyone said. I was in a park in Colonna and we, me and the two aforementioned comedians. Is that how I use that word, aforementioned? Yeah, you aforementioned them. We were sitting down and eating a sandwich in this nice park. And nearby, I would say about 10 meters away, there was a couple lying down on a blanket and covered with a blanket.

Like they were sleeping. Yeah. And the one woman, we were talking and then Alex just in the middle of a sudden saw something. He goes, what the fuck is that? And we looked over and the woman stealthily was taking off her bathing suit. Okay. Bottoms. Sure.

Stealthily as in like the, you know, as you are on a bed, like the covers are on top of you. Yeah. So she was taking off her full bathing suit bottoms, and you couldn't see this happen. You wouldn't be able to see her bare ass and privates unless you were sitting behind her, which we were. So we just saw this woman struggle to take off and put back on. And the blanket that's supporting her is just going everywhere. Like, we could see everything. And this woman's just bare ass is just out.

And we're losing our minds laughing. And we were like, what the hell's going? Like, why would you do this? Was there, were there more people around that, like, that she was successfully hiding from? I guess so, yeah, but not us. And she doesn't know, and she'll never know that this will be a memory for you for the rest of your life. For the rest of my life. Yeah.

Like I see a, I saw a naked. I mean, like, pants down person the other day. Yeah. You don't really see that often, but I saw. I guess you don't see it that off. No, not in the, you have anything, yeah. Moments that stick with you forever from like, just like, well, you know what? The first, I'm trying to set you up, but I literally have a thing I want to say.

Yeah, no, I know yours. What? I think. No, I don't know. I'm curious. It's about a dad at a restaurant. No. Oh, okay.

Mine is about I was on my college broadcasting school we did a tour of broadcasting facilities in Alberta and BC

and we stopped in a park in Lake Louise and me and two guys were throwing a frisbee just through this nice park and then a pretty lady starts biking through

the center of the park and my friend throws a frisbee and it goes way off course and smacks her right in the face. And I'll just never forget that. Did she fall off the bike? No, but she was embarrassed. She shouldn't have been.

We were the ones, yeah. What did you think I was about a guy in a dad in a restaurant? Oh, a dad with his kids and at, uh, he says, uh, daddy's done. Oh, the kids go, yay! It was at a Taco Bell. And it was a guy's at Daddy's full and the kids said, yeah. And I wasn't there. This is Abby's.

story but think Sheila anyways I think of that all the time Sally and I say it to one

another oh yeah that's great that he's full yay I love those Dave do you have an overheard

yeah mine is from TV I was watching the news and the first thing that came up it was a sound bite and it was

just this talking head and he comes on and just this young guy and glass And he says, well, who does Mayor Brody think he is? Mayor McCheese. What? The top mayor of all mayors.

Yeah. And it turns out it was this news story about the city had had a catered dinner, but they also got a bunch of McDonald's at the end. Like, apparently it's a big, like the freedom of information request had come out and they realized that they had ordered 275 cheeseburgers and 275 junior chicken sandwiches because people like to grab some on the way out. Sure. Yeah.

It sounds fucking awesome. Yeah. Yeah, this is, I think, a popular thing at weddings. People will order, like, a midnight, like, 200 cheeseburgers. And it was $1,800. Wow. And I'm, as a taxpayer, I'm fine with that. Yeah, yeah.

You're going to have some fun, you know. Yeah. Does Mayor McChese have to spend money? on the hamburgers? Also, does he eat hamburgers? He is a hamburger. He is a hamburger. Yeah. Yeah. I got to find this clip. Mayor Brody

McDonald's. Mm. Yeah. He's make his Mayor McChise. Let's bring it over here. Here we go. Oh, Moxies. Oh. Had for Moxies. Just don't worry. This ad will end in 25 seconds. This guy.

Richmond. Well, who does Mayor Brody think he is? Mayor McChese Bears What's what that guy's voice? What the hell? Why does he sound that way? He sounds like the mummy.

He's from the Canadian Taxpayers Federation. What? But is he being, is he doing a silly guy? No. That's what he sounds like. Yeah. That's insane.

Well, who does Mayor Brody think he is? Mayor McCheese? Little Mayor Brody, look he is. I feel like that guy's like a staunch conservative man. Oh, man. I mean, you got to um,

he knows. that that's the Sandbide that's going to make the clip Yeah Yeah So he's practiced

It Who is Lee? Have you seen these people? Wow, that's awesome. That was my overheard. That's really good.

Mine is just a little bit of a conversation just But it's all The only thing I caught And this was in PEI And somebody said That's like a limo

At a bus station I was like What do you think That's crazy What was to? Damn. Yeah, that's like a limo at a bus station. Yeah, it's like when I have some hot chick state and an uggo guy.

Or an ago guy is wearing like a beautiful Seco, a diver watch. Yeah, beautiful. And I'm not saying that that's you. You're very attractive guy. No, I'm sort of like a, my body's sort of a bus depot. My Seiko watch is a beautiful, affordable. Limousine. You've heard of Shrekking, yes?

No. It's a new, it's a new young person dating thing where you, as a person, will date somebody who's uglier than you in the hopes that they're nice to you. Oh my God. And what happens more often than not? They're not nice to you. So you need to get the one thing out of it. I'm shreckin it. I was in a cafe the other day and they played that song, If you want to be happy for the rest of your life.

Live I met a pretty woman, your wife. Get an ugly girl to marry you. And so I was like, that's a Shrekking song. That's the original Shrek. But I was like, oh, is it also like an in-cell song? Yeah, probably. God, it would, it would suck to realize that you're getting Shrek. Like you're on the Shrek.

You're on the Shrek. Yeah, yeah, you're a Shrek and she's Fiona. I love to Fiona. Sure. That's what I'm doing currently. My girlfriend, hottest chick in the game. Yeah? Yeah.

You dated up. What do you call that? Not married up, but you're dating up. I'm dating up. Yeah. Really? You're handsome guy. How hot you're hot.

must she be? Yeah. Yeah. Calendar hot? Calend, yeah. I think she was in Dave's calendar. The fireman? Yeah.

She was watching the truck. Just in the background. That's very funny. The idea of, yeah, I'm dating up. You know, we're not ready for me to marry up. We don't know if we're ready for that. Oh, God. Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the world.

to send it in, send it in to SBIY at maximum fund.org. And this first one comes from Steve M. Maybe Steve Mark. It's possible. Whoa! It's possible, but you can see their last name right now. Yeah. Yeah. It's not. I was with my wife in an outdoor food market when we heard a group of

teen girls talking walking into a gelato store. One of the girls was saying, yeah, Lynn Manuel Miranda, Miranda, you know, the guy who wrote Hamlet. And another girl goes, yeah, totally. How is the teen supposed to know who wrote Hamlet? Yeah.

Yeah. You're, uh, that's probably your favorite musical. Hamlet? Yeah. Yeah. I love that. The rapin, Rappendane.

You should do it. You know what? That gives me, that looks really good. Um, uh, yeah, did you, did you see Hamilton? No, I didn't, I never saw Hamilton. I never did. I looked, uh, that's got to be.

That's probably the most, like, uh, popular. Canadian stand-up joke of the 21st century. Like, yeah, I saw Hamilton. I went on the QEW to say it. I went in the Tiger Cats game. Aski-wee-wee-O-W-W. The way you said it is probably the funniest version of it.

I saw Hamilton. Hamilton. Hamilton, Notary of Steeltown. The Pittsburgh of the North. Mr. Stephen Harper. When Dick Cops Coliseum. Sheeerla Cops Coliseum. And the chicken cannon.

Oh, you know. Sheila Gott's got hit with the chicken can. Oh, probably every week. Dear God. This next one comes from Ashley H. in St. Louis, Missouri. Actually, Hamilton? Could be? Yeah, it's Ashley Hamilton.

Who's that? I was walking through the grocery store with my kids as we passed through the condiments aisle. My seven-year-old son says, maybe we should get mayo. My son doesn't eat mayo, so I have replied. why, to which he said, in case the unexpected happens. Whoa. Yeah. Better have the mail on hand. Ashley, I got news for you. Your kid is

the boy from Insidious. He's haunted. That's something a haunted boy would say. Yeah. Yeah. When you said Ashley Hamilton, rung a bell. She is a person. No, he. He was married to Shannon Doherty. Shannon Doherty from American Pie? From 902.10. Oh. Yeah.

Shannon Doherty's. Oh. She was, yeah, she was in the early 90s. Yeah. Oh. And Ashley Hamilton is a, is a, oh, look at that guy's fresh. We're just like a 90s, huh? Ooh, wait, can you pull him closer to me, please? Let me, let me get a, let me get a look at this guy.

Oh, God. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's fine, baby, it's fine. Computer, computer disasters. Computer, come in. Oh, here we go. Ashley.

There he is. Yo, yeah. Who did Ashley Hamilton have a child with? His girlfriend, Renee Carrelly. Did you say bass guitarist flea? Yes. They adopted together. This last one comes from Daniel C.

From Davis, California. At a vegan restaurant in Sacramento, having dinner before the Baroness show and a song started playing in the speaker system, three older people at a nearby, at a table nearby, oh, I know this song, me too, it's a good one. Yeah, it's the Jonas brothers. I like them, really, me too.

This is their best song. The song was staying alive by the Bee Gees. They're brothers Yeah, exactly The brothers Jonas The BJs They probably did throw that around the road They probably had to float that one

Yeah See this is what I'm talking about Joe Jonas I worked at a health food store And Joe Jonas came in one time In Toronto In Toronto And he was amazed

He was like a young boy Because it was like back in the heyday And he was like Whoa this place is like All organic food That's pretty wicked It's like he had never seen that before.

I was like, they don't have something like out in LA. No, I looked at him and I was like, I think that's a Jonas brother. Like that guy looks famous. He was wearing really nice clothes and he was with a woman. And I was like, I'm not sure, but I think that's a Jonas brother. And then he walked by the little cafe and a woman like jaw dropped, like, looked at him like, oh my God, I can't believe. And I'm like, yeah, that's Joe Jonas for sure.

I have a friend that has a similar thing. He was smoking outside of a bar and a limo pulled up and the window went. down and asked if he had a cigarette, and he gave it to her, and then she drove away, and the person was like, do you know who that was? And he was like, she's like, that was Lady Gaga. Whoa! Yeah. And I don't think that he was bothered by it. I think he was like,

yeah. Yeah. Who's Lady Gaga? Who's Lady Gaga? Yeah. It was like a limousine at a bus bus station area. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls and voice memos. If you want to call us or voice memo us,

call us at 1 844-779-7631 that's one spy pod one like these people have This is my favorite part of the show Or send in voice memos to SPY at maximum fun.org Like these people have Hi, Dave and Graham and beautiful founded guests This is Matthew from Chicago calling in Overheard Last night I was at a bar and the Dukes of Hazard movie was on TV

And the girl next to me said is that Stifler's mom's son? I love you. That's a great way to refer to Stichler's mom's son. That is good. That's really good. I don't know if you guys have kept up with the American Pie saga. No.

But in the latest film, American Reunion, Eugene Levy and Stiffler's mom get together. No way. Oh, man. Oh, my God. Yeah. That's comedy gold. It is. It's great.

When you say the latest, how recent? Probably six or seven years ago. And I know these movies are pretty raunchy. Do you see everything? See everything. You see Eugene. And let me tell you, those eyebrows, same as down there. The blackest can be.

He's trying to get changed stealthily at a park. But you see everything. You see absolutely everything. We mentioned, we talked about the scene where they lose their virginity. yeah a couple weeks ago and you said it I said it was at Stifler's mom's house you said it was on a lake it was Stifler's mom's lake house oh okay we all we remembered it wasn't the original Stifler's mom's house that's right yeah oh yeah oh yeah because they replaced Stifler's mom after the first season yep like French

French friends with Ted McGinley okay here's your next one oh another one yeah a treat Graham and guests. This is Jay calling in with an overheard from the Atlantic Ocean. I was teaching my son to buggy board and there was a group of teenage girls nearby us in the water. A big wave comes, crashes down, knocks everybody down and I hear a girl say, oh man, I almost nip slipped in front of my dad. And the other girls laugh. Then that same girl starts talking about how her breasts are too big. I couldn't tell you one way or the other. And about how she is going to get breast reduction surgery, sometime before school starts in the fall. And she says, she pauses and she goes, hey, guys, can we have a funeral for my tits?

And they all cheered. Wait. Man, oh, man, nips living in front of your dad would be the end of it. You think your dad hasn't seen your nips? No, I wear pasties. Just in case. I brought your nips into this world. I'll take it out.

All right, so this is the final one. This is, you know how we have Sleep Country Canada? Yeah. Well, there's also Sleep Country USA. What? No. Yeah. The same brand, the same company?

I don't know, but it's, growing up here, there were ads for it in Washington State on the TV we got here. Yeah. So before I ever heard of Sleep Country, Canada. Sleep Country, Canada. I heard of Sleep Country, USA. And I'll be boycotting it. Oh, those elbows up.

You guys know what affiliate you would see in New Brunswick and PEI? Oh, what, like Boston or? Yeah, Boston. Boston, huh? Yeah, got all the Boston news. Oh, Boston channels. We got Buffalo, Rockport. Yeah, we got Seattle.

We got Cordillane. Cordillane. Yeah. Spokane and Cordillane. Cortalane. Beautiful. Idaho? Montana.

Montana. Montana. Okay. Okay. Final phone call. Hello, this is Moe from Seattle, and I was listening to an old episode where you guys mentioned Sleep Country Canada, and it reminded me of an overseen, a vintage overseen from my childhood. So in Seattle, our Sleep Country USA commercials had Sunny Kobe Cook instead of Christine McGee. So you can just imagine this with Christine McGee.

if you're Canadian. So in 1994, my family went to Winterfest, which is basically just a Christmas convention in Seattle. And there was a booth set up there for Sleep Country USA for whatever reason. And they had a life-size cardboard cutout of Sunny Kobe Cook, our Christine McGee. And my brother had been carrying around this rolled up like Pamphil. from some booth at this convention and he slapped the cutout of Sunny Kobe Cook with it right in the face and out of nowhere Sunny Kobe Cook herself appeared because she was manning the booth

she grabbed the little pamphlet out of my brother's hand my eight-year-old brother's hand and smacked him in the face with it while she laughed. No friggin' way Take this I do you like it takes your own mission Kid That's really good Everything about that is fantastic

I didn't know who Sunday Kobe Cook is No that's why I pulled up a picture Because not famous here Yeah Whenever I see someone Slap a little kid with a pamphlet in the fest I'm going to go Kobe Well, that brings us to the end of this year program.

Adam, you have a brand new album coming out. And it is called Dragonflies. And people can get it everywhere. And this is your second softmore. So you win the Juno for your first? Nominated. Nominated. Did you win?

No. Nominated. Yeah. My year it was Kyle Brownring. Oh, okay. Yes, yes. Mine was the wonderful Sophie Buttle.

Oh, yes. And if I get nominated this year, I will be beaten by the wonderful Brett Butt. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, do you have any other things? Where can people find you? You can find me on Instagram, Adam Christie Comedian. I post a little skits.

I post little jokes. You're going to love it on there. If you haven't heard Adams stand up, it's first class. Yeah. First class. I really like the things you post. He did a great video with Chris Wilson where you haven't read any book. Me and Chris Wilson posts a lot of skits, so get on there.

You did a great bit about your girlfriend thinks everything's better than sex. Yep. It was a stand-up clip. That's a stand-up clip. That's pretty good. Yeah, we got it. We got it all going on. Well, thank you for being our guest.

An honor. I love you, and I love your listeners, and I love everything about this. We love you. Yeah, I love you. And everybody out there, we love you. You just heard us say it, so it'll make me repeat it. Come on back next week for another episode of stuff, podcast of yourself. Oh!

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