Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 923 - Maddy Kelly

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

Comedian Maddy Kelly returns to talk her haircare routine, a missing wallet, and the big book sale. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode 923 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graeme Clark. And with me, as always, is a man who does. the most fun gag

opening the door since more fun than Kramer ever did. Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, was it a Kramer-style gag? You know what it was? Okay, so I saw you two sitting at the coffee shop up the street. One coffee, two straws.

Pop Tate's coffee shop. And this was a half an hour before the show was going to begin. And I thought, oh, these two are going to be coming to these guys are showing up at the same time. And we chatted. So you knew that I knew that we were all going to meet up. Yeah.

And so I thought it would be fun to seem really unprepared. So I put on a house coat and I put a towel around my head. And I said, when you came to the door, I said, is that today? My other thing I was thinking of maybe doing with that outfit was putting my face into cake and saying, I like that in that movie, he just had a cake. He had access to a full cake that just happened. to be also like pretty convenient it was a vanilla cake. Billy Crystal would have maybe done chocolate.

Our guest today, returning guests to the podcast, one of our all-time favorite guests. You can see her at Union Hall, December 12th in New York, New York. It's Maddie Kelly. Hello. Hey, everyone. Hey, how are you? Oh, Dave, the delight, the delight that was caused by the towel on the head. Thanks.

Do you, are you a towel? Do you walk around like that after a shower? No, because I don't touch, I don't dare touch my hair with a towel. Oh, what's your post-shower ritual? Well, everybody online in the curl community is like, they just tell you. R-slash curls? Yeah. I don't even wear my hair curly anymore, but I still, I'm religious about this.

Where it's like, don't you dare ever touch your, because it makes your little, every hair is smooth, okay? But then it gets roughed up. It gets roughed up by the fiber of a towel. If you need to, you can dry your hair with a t-shirt, but I don't even recommend that. You're drip, drip, drip, drip. I'm drip, drip, drip. I'm putting in my products. I'm brushing my hair.

I'm putting in some more products. What are we doing V-O-5 hot oil? Are we doing John Frida's Frizzies? Guys, I wish the podcast had always been like this. I would love to tell you guys my hair routine. Well, let's get to know us. Get to know us. Tell us more.

Okay, so I get a leave-in conditioner. But you're actually washing up, You're putting in dry shampoo. You're washing your hair. I do that quite often. I'm addicted to that. How many times a week do you wash your hair? Twice.

Twice. Shampo three times. Three. I do it every day. Do you use infusium, the leave-in users believe in? Yes. Thank you for bringing that up. And you're leaving shampoo's Batista?

My dry, I do use the Batiste dry shampoo. Okay. Yes. And it's so good. I've tried it and it makes my hair look hilarious. Yeah, I can't do it. Well, you're not going for volume, per se. That's what I want, yeah, I want volume.

Yeah, I want people to go, whoa. Who wouldn't want volume? Yeah, I want B2AW. Some people don't want volume. But you have so much volume. Do you ever go to like, oh, I need a dry shampoo that, yeah, it's the opposite of volume. Well, yes. This is like, talking about hair with boys is like, you guys are laughing away.

I'm like, it's actually not funny. Because I use hair spray, of course, to keep my hair tame. Oh, sure. I would use hairspray for volume. I do that as well. It's a complicated life. And if you don't do it currently anymore, so are you always getting it straight? Are you always straightening it?

Okay. I'm going to do the routine. There we go. Leave in conditioner. I'll blowout cream. So we've already shampooed. We've shampooed three times in condition. Sorry, in one shower.

In one shower, I shampoo three times. So when they say leather rinse repeat, you repeat. Oh, I'm repeating. I do my pre-shampo oil. Okay. Then I do some yoga. hang out. Okay. That's before you even step in the shower. So you're letting this infuse. Yeah. And that I love. I recommend that to anyone. What? To put oil in your hair? I love the oil.

Because shampoo strips your hair so much. You kind of put oil in so you're not stripping it too much. Oil in? Oh. Oil out. Yeah. If I put oil on my head, that's the end of the procedure. Do you, I mean, my hair's already greasy and it's going to. No, but sometimes my hair's greasy too. How do you tell if you need oil? Do you use a dipstick? Yeah. No, you take it to a gas station. They present it to you? It's a little. I hate this. The oil actually helps me. I have greasy hair as well, and it makes me go longer in between washes. Okay.

Because my hair's, you know, got enough oil. You ever do that and then do a ponytail? Or is it, is your award that it's so full of volume and everybody can compliment you on it? Yeah, I do a, I can do a ponytail. Do you know what the subreddit for people who don't wash their hair is? No. R slash no poo. Oh, right.

For no shampoo. And then there's also R slash no fap. Yeah. And then, like, is there a constipation one that's like... No, that's, yeah, that's R slash no hair washing. I'm the opposite of no poo. I'm... You're three-poo.

Yeah. Is it the same shampoo three times? Krista Neff signature. Yeah, she's good. She's good. Did she say three? No one talks about her. No.

Who is she? I don't know. Neff. I even DMed them. Huh? I DMed them. Did you know what they say? Nothing.

And every other brand will always be like, thanks, babe. I love to DM a brand. And they go, thanks, Chica. Which was the best? She looks a little Latina. They go, XX. What brand was the most friendly of all the brands? Horny boy soup.

Shout out. Horny boy soup. I made myself laugh. That would be really friendly. Sure, yeah. Oh, yeah. This year has been a big year for the reply guys, actually. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Just to move off my hair routine. God, because I kind of want to finish it. The reply guys, this is people that unsolicited are commenting on photos, etc. So I used to have, I used to have like a bench of, like, guys that would just reply my story no matter what. Right. And these are guys who pined for you. I think so.

Yeah. And did you know any of them? No. They were just internet. They were just like, yeah. Are they creeps? Or are they. No, I wouldn't call them creeps.

But I found it interesting that they just didn't need any response for me in order to keep going. Yeah. Come to Brazil. Yes. Yeah. Well, India, in my case. Yes. Marry me.

Oh, sure. Marry me. That'd be kind of a fun meet cute, though. You know, I was a reply guy. That is cool that you can do that. And the woman later will be like, no, there weren't creeps. Well, then, guess what? Spoiler alert, I met my boyfriend via DM.

You did? Oh, really? My boyfriend slid into the DMs. And we have to tell people that when they ask us how we met. What did he say? What did he say? So did he admire you from afar? He admired me from afar.

How did he met you in real life? No, but we did have like mutual friends because he knew comedians. Hmm. Yeah. And he... I got to meet some comedians. So I can meet her boyfriend. That's the best

His initial DM wasn't so good Oh, what was it? It's really embarrassing Come on! So I posted a picture Now she doesn't want to say In the banana filter The banana filter?

You know when you're makes you into a banana Your eyes and your lips on the banana? Okay So I said that and he said Did it hurt when the government turned you into a banana? That's great Yeah, I don't know what would be better No, that's, that lets you know you're paying attention.

He's funny. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He's going to write you back. Yep. He's going to rate you first. Yeah. He's a very prompt text.

Would the, God, how could we punch that up? Did it hurt when, like, did it hurt? I thought that it was going to be, did it hurt when you fell out of heaven as a banana. Yeah, I fell out of heaven. That's not bad. When somebody slipped on the banana and fell out to have Earth or something, something like that. But yeah, government turning you into a banana is pretty good. bad yeah and then what are you right back do you feel like you had now we're riffing i think i was

like leave me a look i think i liked the message like i'm not sure i responded to that one that's nice yeah i am like people send me videos unsolicited all the time i listener if you're one of these people who do this i don't always watch the video but i always hit like unless you're someone who sends me a video every day and then i don't even reply but then also okay so logs where I'm sorry, short, we started going out. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

What was the first day? He's my boyfriend. The first date was actually Chateau Marmal in L.A. Really? Yep. I'd always want him to go. And like, what is... Wait.

Are you dating Steven Dorf? I'm dating Steven Dorf. Yay. The reason we went there is because he was picking him of my mother's house. And your mother's got a suite of the Chateau Marmal. My mom is Marmal. He also said, like, took him aside and said, If you do anything, they might go to home.

Is that, it's like a fancy Hollywood hotel, but also like hangout. Yeah. Like, is it a restaurant? Yeah. I'd never been. I'd always wanted to go. Who died there? Who died and made you go there?

Was it like John Bolusie? Not Jim Morrison. John Belushi or Jim Belushi? It was Jim Belushi. He came back from the dead. A lot of people said you couldn't keep him down, but he's back. And according to him, according to him. That's what if.

Jim Morrison came back from the dead. You should do an album called According to Jim. Okay, just let me look up, Chateau, Marmont. You know who is there, Dave? Was past Let's Make a rom-com guest, Kiwi Smith. Oh, really? How did you know that? She was like over there.

I saw her. But how would you recognize her? Because we assumed with her. Who's Kiwi Smith? Kiwi Smith is a writer. She's a legendary screenwriter of 10 things I hate about you. Oh. Legally blonde.

Those are huge. Ella enchanted. Well, her and her, she's a partner. Yeah, and what was the other one that, oh, the house bunny? Oh, yeah, an Anna Ferris joint. John Belushi died. John Belushi died. And Helmut, photographer Helmut Newton died there.

He did? Yep. Really? After suffering a heart attack and crashing his car while pulling out of the driveway. That sucks. Wow, Ranker has 25 insane things that really happened at the... Chateau Marmont. Brittany Spears, smeared food on her face.

John Bonham drove a motorcycle through the lobby. Lazy Lemon charged $45,000 to her room. That doesn't seem like it would be hard there. No. Maddie Kelly goes on first date. It was, it was really fun. Yeah. Okay.

But I will say that I was nervous. Sure. And you forget you're like, you want to be treated well. You want someone to be like, take you some more. Fancy. That means they like you, but you forget that you're going to be more nervous because you're in a fancy place. Right, because you don't deserve it. Because I don't deserve it.

But this, you're going to this full shampoo routine. Oh, oh, the blowout went crazy. I actually thought I was like, I snapped on it too hard. Did you ever, would you ever for like a big event go to get your hair done specifically for that or is that not in your lexicon? I would just do it myself. Okay. Yeah. Because I have, then I know what's good.

going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. I'm my makeup, too. Honestly, at this point in my life, I prefer to do my own makeup. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And I still get it done. It looks good. It's very natural. I like the smoky eye. Yeah. Just did the one. And one tear drop.

That'd be awesome if you answered the door in a full beat. You are currently living in New York, New York. Yes. And do you like it there? Yes. You were just on subway takes. Yeah. She's like, I did it.

I saw it. That's how you know you've made it in New York. Yeah. That's how you know you've made it in New York. Actually, it was a good celebrity day because I go to a coffee shop every morning and I go to the same, it's a bar at night. I go there every day. Was Keeby Smith there? She was not there.

She's busy at the chateau. Did you talk to her that? No, I didn't. I was on a date. I was, you know, I couldn't network. Oh, wow. Yeah. I'm focused.

You are focused. I have my priorities in the right place. Oh, also just to finish the day. date story, we left there and we went to the apple pan and had pie and that was really nice. The apple pan? And that was really, and it's like a big counter. Two location date.

Two location date. Oh my God. Yes, it was five hours. That's great. Did you start? What time did it start? It started at 545. 545. Oh, Chateau Marmont really doesn't get cook until about 11th night. What, uh, okay, so.

Okay, sorry. So you're in New York. So I'm in New York. I'm going to do subway takes. We will get to. We're only at three shampments. who's, and we haven't got. We've put in the...

Yeah, we're going to do more. We have nothing. We have nothing else. We don't know what happens next. That's exciting. Yeah, it is exciting. Leave them wanting more. Yeah.

You guys are joking. People want my hair routine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are some of my DMs as well. Hey, girl, drop the tea. Drop the tea on your hair and spill it also. Does that involve? Are you spilling tea at any point?

What's going on with you today? Oh, boy. Ever since I did that little bit. You're like drunk, drunk with power. Not power. Okay, sorry. So I go to the coffee shop because we're going to all meet and go on the train together, me and the other people recording subway takes.

This was, I was surprised. There's people. Yes. You're rotated in. Yeah. Okay. So how many? Five people.

Five people of five people doing takes. Yeah. This isn't the crew that you're making. And then there's two camera guys and this really awesome comic, Rami, who works on the show, who booked me. Do you ever go, do the other people with takes, are they all like, I'm really nervous about my take? Yes. Hey, can I go over my take with you?

People were whispering their takes. Yeah? Yeah. Well, was one that you thought, hey, this is pretty good. I don't remember. They were all fine. If the listeners don't know what subway takes are, it's this guy, Kareem. He goes on the subway.

He holds up his metro card. He has a microphone attached to his metro card. It's the most innovative thing. Yeah, it's not subway takes Jared Fogel style This is on the train This is Yeah, that actually

A good subway take Let me out And then you're on the train And you have like You talk for a couple minutes about You know Your hot take Your hot take

And your hot take was My hot take was that we need to Talk about how we're going to get off Instagram and meta But not really do it I mean I We don't need to do it like tomorrow Like I wasn't trying to get

I knew the movement wouldn't click immediately, but I think that it's something that would be positive to start talking, at least acknowledging how much we actually want to do this. And then, and then people give their take, and he either says 100% agree or 100% disagree. Does he ever go 50, 50? Today, he just said, I don't have an opinion on that. Oh my God, dream. Women should stop wearing bras. You know what? Yeah, I have no opinion on either, to be honest. This is an individual right thing, I think. Yeah.

Your take about meta and Facebook, would you encourage people to go over to TikTok instead? Or ranker. Ranker seems to be doing pretty well. They've got a lot of moments at Chateau Marmar. I heard Lindsay Hill had a charge of $45,000. Apparently Howard Hughes' spite on women's sitting poolside. Hot take.

I don't like it. They ran out of steam on crazy pretty fast, hey? Guess what? But everyone spies at women sitting poolside. Oh, yeah. That's what the pools are for. That's true. So I went to the coffee shop.

Went into on subway takes. I come back to the coffee shop to get a shot of espresso to celebrate. The coffee shop is empty, except for one person who is Chapel Rhone. Oh, my God. She's scowling at me. She's thinking, if you talk to me, I'll kill myself. I'm like, girl, you're in my house. Yeah.

I'm just trying to get a coffee. Where were you a couple hours ago when I needed good luck, babe? Oh, really good. Oh, I go on my day. I leave, okay? Why was she the only one in there? I don't know. No, no, she wasn't.

She was trying to get a coffee. Huh. But she was, God, did she look scared. She couldn't get her hair through the door. I'd like to see her hair routine. Is it a neighborhood called, well, it's called dime square. Right. And it's sort of, yeah, it's like kind of bad, in fact, because it's gentrifying.

It's over. Is it? But, like, you don't go to, like, if you're Chapel Rhone, you don't go to Dime Square by accident. You get down to be seen. Charlie X, X, X, at least she goes, she takes a couple pictures, you know what I mean? I guarantee if anyone was like, hey, I like you, she'd be like, thanks, thanks. Thanks, babe. But these are.

Chappel Rone was truly looking at me like she would die if I mentioned the fact that she was one of the most famous people in the world. Certainly one of the most people. She was staying there with a backpack on. She's so real for that. Yeah. Anyway, wait. Then I go to get my sandwich. You wait.

Well, it's hard to get a word in edgewise today. I'll say that. Yeah, Dave Lee. Get some words in edgewise, Maddie. So I go to the deli, and when I leave the deli, I see a guy in a car. And I go, I think that's Samuel Jackson. But it's too far away to tell. Doesn't matter.

Whoever it is opens the car door, throws up onto the ground. Oh, shit. So that was the day of my subway take. That's amazing. What a day. I know. Quite a day. Graham and I had one.

Celebrity Sighting when we were in New York together. We were walking to have a drink with Caitlin Fontana, who was living in New York at the time. And we were walking down the street in Manhattan. Yeah. And we saw a woman with a gigantic ass. Yeah. And Graham and I aren't the kind of, we're not that kind of friends. Yeah, we don't look at women at the side of pools.

That's not our face. The site of pools. But like we, it's very rare that we would be like, wow, are you seeing what I'm seeing? But we both were like, hi. Is that real? Yeah. This was 2012, 2011, around then. And we got closer because she couldn't walk very fast.

And it was. Ice-Tie's girlfriend. Wife. Oh, wife. Coco. Wow. Yeah. And yeah, her big thing was that she has a big butt.

Right. So it did not disappoint in person. And I don't know what she's up to now. I don't know if she's still. But we wish her well. Yeah. For everyone to stop podcast for yourself. This holiday season celebrate with a glass of cocoa.

Glass cup. Glass of cocoa. Guys, I thought I was going to be Kim Kardashian. Oh, that's a more famous class. I don't even know who Coco is. Ice-D.'s wife? Yeah. You know who Ice-T is?

Yeah. Every time I see a celebrity in New York, it's directly outside my house. Like, who... They always love to walk by my house. Who's in the top five? Okay, well, this is a good one. And he's not that famous, sorry. Okay.

But we love, he's a friend of the show, I think. But on my birthday, I was about to walk back into my apartment. Someone is standing befuddled outside my apartment. This should be one where we guess, if it's a friend of the show. I don't know how close to a friend of the show he is. In fact, he might never have met him. All right, that's cool. We have numerous guests who don't remember being on the show.

Is it a native New Yorker? Yes. Is it John Hodgman? No, but. David Letterman. Close. Nope. Not a friend.

Oh no, he's a big fan I give up It was Colin Quinn Oh nice Not a friend of the show Okay Well he's sort of adjacent In a way

Sure Yeah He's around He's probably a friend of a friend of a show He's probably friend of a friend of Banner Kevin Banner Oh is he go Yeah

So I go like this I look at it like Oh my God Because I'm like It's my birthday You're one of my hair comedians You're standing outside my apartment You know

Wow And then he was like Being very mysterious And he was like You know All the best people Have birthdays Today and tomorrow

And I was like, is he your birthday tomorrow? And he went, yep. Wow. Isn't that cute? Did you wish him a happy birthday in advance? Yes, I wished him a happy birthday. So if you want to find out Maddie's birthday, what you got to do? Go to colinquint.com and minus one.

Yeah. And it's also the same birthday as Rafah Nadal. Yours or a college? A tennis player. Oh, okay. That's probably why you're so good on clay. I'm incredible on clay. And I have a Western grip.

Oh, is that right? I pick my butt. He does have a weird picking. ritual before every serve. He wears Caprize that get caught in his butt. Sure. Always has. Anyways, Colin Quinn, great, great run in with a celebrity.

He's a pro. At the end, he said, he said, say hello to your mothers. Oh, that's nice. That kind? Yeah. I should have told him, I was like, his best friend is Eddie Pepitone. I, like, I did a show with Eddie Pepitola. He came and did my show.

They call him the bitter Buddha. He's great. We did a, we did a live podcast with him. Yeah, a billion years ago. I love him. Yeah, he's great. Yeah. He came to town and played at the Motton.

Yes. Yeah. He was like, on my show, he was like perturbed because he'd lost his AirPods. And I was like, you have AirPods? He's always got to find something to be perturbed about. Sure. It's like the way that Michael Jordan always needs to find a like a rival. Yeah.

Or, yeah, even if it's in gambling. Here are my other celebrity sightings. Okay. The last time I went to New York. Morgan Sporlock, rest in peace. Okay. Walking through the rain. Is he dead at the time?

He was dead at the time. Okay. I forgot he died. Yeah. It was a big day. That's the day the music died for me. Oh, darn it. And, oh, no, two more.

The star of 16 candles? No. Wally and Ringwold. Pretty in pink. Andrew McCarthy. He was walking near whatever that sort of market, that sort of gentrified marketplace is. What's it called? The Grove.

Yeah. It's a place that's got like a bunch of... I call that character, not Ducky. Yeah. And he was walking with a Columbia sportswear shopping bag. Maybe he bought himself a Gortex jacket. So he's doing all right. And then in the elevator of the place we were staying,

the apartment Airbnb kind of thing we were staying at, Kiki Palmer. Oh, that's good. I love her. Kiki Palmer? She was in the elevator with us. She was Akila from Akila and the Bee? oh sure okay um and she had that legendary tweet was it a tweet yeah i can do it by word by by memorization so i think someone had compared her someone else or someone was like oh like she's this generation's

whatever and she said i was the first as the youngest inderella on broadway i was this i was that she said any comparison of me to anyone else as an example of colorism i'm a once in a generation of talent this is geeky bomber wow that's amazing it was so true she's so good at so many things Yeah, is she in Um And she was in nope Yeah, nope

That's the one with the animals And the aliens Yeah And then she had a podcast called this is Kiki Popper And she had a thing Because of that tweet But the one thing The other meme she's famous for

Is not knowing who Dick Cheney is That's cool It's no longer relevant She said I'm sorry to this man Like it was a thing where they were like She had to like I don't know what Some segment on something where she had to

know who someone was that I don't know who that is I'm sorry to this man I'm like this is a man who shot his friend in the face that's his big credit I know who Dick Cheney is but I don't think I know him like On site?

Yeah like his face very well Even though he just died He looks a bit like Carl Rove Does that do anything for you Okay so that was That was one Colin Quinn That's one Another one

To be fair my roommate saw this But she was walking directly In front of our apartment Okay Mindy Kayley Okay. That's a good one. Yeah, that's good.

And number three, I think, is, this is poetic justice for me because I had this disagreement. Did Mindy Kaling say, people are always trying to marry me in India? Are you could have bonded over that? We could have bonded over that. I bet she gets the same. I bet she gets that a lot. Was that racist of me to bet that? No, that's statistical.

Okay. So, okay. I got in this, we were all, I was, one time I was at dinner, a bunch of friends. Okay. And there was a guy I didn't really know named Chris, okay? And we were all going around doing our celebrity look likes, okay? Everyone was saying who people say about them, like not even who they think they look like. And I was like, oh, I always get Katie Holmes.

This guy Chris goes, no. I went, sorry? He's like, you don't look anything like Katie Holmes. And I was like, well, I get it all the time. Like, that's what people, people will like, people say this to me. Like, a woman in airport security once said this to me. Surrey Cruz comes up to me all the time and he's like, Mama. I forgot her name's Surrey.

And then he was like, no, you're home. hot, but you don't look like Katie Holmes. I'm infuriated by this, okay? Because he didn't take objection to anyone else's celebrity look alike. Right. So I dine out on this story for a while. It's really pissed me off. I don't really like this.

Katie Holmes walks directly in front of my apartment. She looks nothing like me. So she didn't, like, fix her hair in a window, and they were like, no, but it's me. You didn't? We needed to do a parent trap. Did you I remember a few years ago On Facebook

Which we got to get back on Facebook Absolutely That's your hot tech There was a thing that was like No my hot take? Yeah What would be your guys is Hey hey what's your hot take

Here I'm holding it a little Okay I think that John Belushi should have never died That's my hot take 100% disagree Oh shit Oh shit Yeah, what happens if he disagrees with you?

Then you get... Then you have banter. Okay. Yeah, because it's like, yeah, you shouldn't have died. Yeah. Those bees, we needed the bees. Yeah, we needed the bees. We needed Samurai.

We needed a Taylor. Hamburger guy. Yep. Cheeseburger, cheeseburger. Do you guys know the story about Kamala Harris's shelved subway take? Oh, they shelved them? That's what happened to mine. She and Tim Walz both did one. And Tim Walz was like people should take better care of their gutters.

people should check their gutters. Okay. But you know, it's on brand. He's foxy. He cares about things. Yeah. He's a dad vibe, right? She goes on.

Firstly, they had to make a subway for her. Like they had to make a car to shoot it in. Like a fake car? She didn't go on the regular subway. It's too dangerous. So they built a set? They built a set for her. Okay.

And her take, she's a month out from the presidential election. Yeah. She says, bacon is a spice. Oh, God. Well, that's where the campaign sunk. She says bacon is a spice Bacon is spice Personally no it's not

Yeah banana is a yogurt Like who cares about that Bacon can be a topping You can shake it on like a Sure But then okay at best it's what A 2012 Bacon pro bacon joke

Yeah Also I don't know There's a lot going on Middle East With people not eating pork Like it's not really like a time To be talking about bacon I wouldn't say As your main thing you're so excited about

She should have I think her take should have been I want to be president That's what Mom Donnie did. Yeah? He said I want to be mayor. I thought he said bacon was a spice. But sometimes when we're really overwhelmed, me and my friends, we go, bacon is a spice, bacon is a spice.

And how deep into the thing do you think, like, into the take before her, like, campaign manager was like, we're not airing this. Yeah, this is. It was a mutual decision because Kareem said he didn't want to be blamed for her losing the election. That's good. My hot take. Yeah. Dave, what's your hot take? What if Jack Nicholson was the chef from Ratatouille?

I think it would sound a little bit. 100% agree. Like this. Dave does a famous Jack Nicholson. There's a rat in my head. Hey, there's a rat in my head. Is that better? Is that anything?

You know, he hasn't been in a movie lately. I think he's retired. Well. Yeah. He's out there, eating subways on boats. He's retired. Analyze that. Would you guys ever retire?

We were talking about that. Yeah, I would. Yeah. I wouldn't like to retire. No? I like sitting around. I already do a lot of that. I feel like I'm kind of pre-retired.

Yeah? I'm hoping to be called out of retirement. Yeah, that is true. You want that one last job, that kind of thing. Yeah. Phil Hanley had that. great joke about my parents are semi-retired so we have that in common can you adopt a grandchild instead of just a child can you can you adopt the next generation so they can come

and visit you and you can have a good time and spoil them yes hot take that's a good 100% agree yes um well that's great yeah that's fantastic now so we're out of the shower Okay, so this is the most important part because there's no towel. There's no towel. You towel your body. Yep. And then you stand in the shower or you're walking around dripping everywhere. I have a towel robe.

Yeah. So a lot of the water is falling into the towel robe of the hood. Yeah. And I'm doing some squishing of water out. Sure, a little wringing it out. Yeah. But not too hard. Yeah.

Gentle. It's your hair. I also find when you brush your hair, like I have a wet brush. That also gets a lot of the water out Now a wet brush is Graham doesn't know this But I know this I only know hot co

Yeah A wet brush is that It doesn't start wet Does it? Oh my God And do you have a big thing A barberside I like the barberside

Like has made it Through the generations Like you and your Dad can have a fun joke about barbicide They don't have it in salons It's a barbershop Yeah it's really a barbershop Yeah, it is really a part.

Do they have in the salons? They have salonside aside. Nice. Maddie Kelly, everybody. I'm on my head out. So I then rough dry my hair with a hair dryer. Okay. Do you have a diffuser?

No, there's no diffuser. I do own one. You're brushing as you're doing it? No. You're just hair. But I'm raking quite aggressively my hair. With your fingers? With a rake.

I'm with my fingers. And I'm blowing it. I'm going upside down. Don't blow it. I'm blowing it against. What temperature you are? Where are you blow it? Hot.

Just a hot thing. Sure. I could use any dryer. Yeah. Any in a hotel somewhere. And I'm getting that. I'm getting it until my hair is about 70% dry. Okay.

Some people might do, like, you could go up to 90% dry. Yeah. But. I never would. Exactly. I have curly hair, so I need a little, you know. And then I get this thing, and it's like a new thing. Okay.

It's like a brush and it has hot air coming out of it, a round brush. Okay. A round brush with hot air coming out of it. Where does it, does it plug in? Is it battery or is there a little creature inside blowing hot air out? Yes, there's a little creature inside blowing hot air out. We're really starting to nothing here, you know? I got to explain electricity to you guys.

So then I do a blowout with that, and I section my hair, and I do it. But honestly, that only takes about 12 to 15 minutes. And how many sections of your hair are there? Really good question. Uh-huh. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Wow. What would you have guessed?

Sections of head? Yeah. Two. Three, yeah. We're going to say three. Front and back. That's how thick your hair is. Inside, outside.

And then I put a little oil in the ends. Uh-huh. Just the ends? Yep. And you do this? Mm-hmm. And then. Dave did the, like, classic.

Yeah, I'm trying, I'm just pushing the ends up. Yeah. And then perhaps I could put her, you know. And does it come out? Yep. Curly? Does it come out straight? It comes out like what you have right now.

Yeah, it comes out. Okay, I did it this morning. Yeah, you got, wait. Well, thanks for doing it for us this morning. Do you have it, is it always Fridays? Oh, yes, it's often Fridays, yeah. The old everything shower on the Friday. Now, here's the thing.

You've been on the podcast many, many times. In the past, we have addressed a couple who's the most asinine couple. Right. It's the time. Oh, I think we know what is right now. Who is it? Justin. A little sushi while I watch a movie

Oh my God, of course Somebody say Just eat Is that for a commercial? Yeah, wouldn't you do the dishes commercial? Oh yeah, and she wore like funny flavorful Or food outfits Okay, yeah

Katie Perry And Justin Trudeau are an item Yeah, what are you thought? What do you think they do on a date? No, literally what do they talk about? Yeah. Canadian politics? It's literally like Ken and Barbie.

Yeah. I don't think he's that interested in Canadian politics. Truly, probably. Can I say, okay, so last night we were talking about this at my comedy show, me and Nathan were on stage. Yeah. Nathan Hare? Nathan Hare? That's his hair routine.

He's bald. I know. But his name. He's his bald. He was just saying his whole family has hair. I didn't know that until last night. He was adopted. Someone did a grandchild adoption thing so they could spoil them.

Oh, I was I think it's spoiling. That's my hair part. I didn't know Nathan Hare was in town. Yep. Is he, how long is he here for? He left today. Damn it. Yep.

Sorry about that. Well, I think we know where we stand with him. Wait, but, okay, so I have to kind of steal his joke, which is actually his dad's joke. But he was saying that his dad got on the Thanksgiving Zoom and everyone was talking about Katie Perry and Justin Trudeau. And his dad went, yeah, I heard Carney's going out with the X-E-X now. Nice. Nice. The X-E-X-X-E?

The XX. Isn't that funny? And Nathan was like, I've never heard anyone call her XX. That's so funny. Isn't that awesome? Yeah. It's fun that. Hey, guys, new Robin song dropped today.

What's that? New Robin song dropped today. Oh, really? Yeah. It's thrilling. Dancing with someone this time. Go, go get your. Go go catch it later.

Go go catch it. She has gotten me through some tough times. Yeah. No, I think in all the history of us doing this segment, this is the best one. Yeah. To the point where I can't even really talk about that. Yeah. Who has it been in the past?

It's been, I've been. Machine Gun Kelly, I think, was one of them. And Megan Fox? Yeah. And then... Well, it started because we had a bet who would break up first. Elon Musk and Grimes or Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson. Yeah.

And I think they broke up like a five seconds. Who did? Pete? It peed in... Pete had a bit longer of a time and a penis, if you recall. No, I recall. And then... Well, but Grimes and Elon Musk broke up but kept having babies, so who knows.

Yeah, what is your status, you guys? We're having kids together still. And then I think it was Zooie de Chanel and a property brother. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We talked about that a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

And now it's like, it's not even funny to talk about Elon Musk at all. You know what I mean? It's like, it just really shows you how our times have changed. That was a fun topic on a podcast. Yeah. You know? He was just kooky. It was kooky.

But he does have a deformed penis energy. Oh, does he? Totally. With this botched penis surgery energies. Man, that's all, as far as I'm concerned, that's all penis surgeries. They're all, what's it the best result? I bet they're good now. What's your end game?

Yeah. Just like, well, are you like, do it after you've already been naked in front of somebody and they're like, huh, something's different. I get injections. Yeah. Oh, smart. Yeah. Saline? No, Serra Raja.

That's hard to find these days. Yeah. So, no comment really on Justin Trude. Well, it's weird. We don't know what they talk about. They were on a boat together at one point, right? Yeah. At least they weren't on a stand-up paddle board.

I think that it's tough with them because it's like, I don't care about either of you guys. I really am. Who do you care less about? Him. Yeah. You still have. some vested interest in Ms. Perry. Sure.

Yeah. She's fine. Feminist icon. Yeah. One time she went down a water slide and her top came off. It was her bottom. Was it? Yeah, after you brought that up last time I looked it up.

I'm expecting to hear about the goings-on of major pop stars dating lives, okay? Yeah. I am not so much. If you're a discreet, in my opinion, he's a disgraced prime minister. Right. I don't like him. Yeah. Anymore.

You kind of liked him when he had those Star Wars socks. I think we all agree. Yeah. Those were fun. Yeah. He ushered in a horrible era of legalized weed. Yeah. Terror.

He legalized weed. You got to give him that. He did legalize weed, didn't he? And he had some women in his cabinet as it was. Because it was 2016. Yeah. Yeah. Which, uh.

And, uh, I don't know if you remember anything else about 2016. Was that the year? The year of what? Remember because he said, like, why did you do this? And he said, because it's blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. What year was it? I think it's 2016.

Yeah, I think it's 2016 too. And he also, I remember he got, there were some photographs of him. I think he must have just stuck his face in a chocolate cake when the visitor was coming in. That's right. And you know what? He still got voted in again. That didn't slow him down. I feel like you have to do a lot more now to get slowed down than, you know, just a little bit of black face.

Yeah, or like, what did Michael Dukakis do? He like rode around in a tank and everybody thought it was fun. and that was the end of his career. Whoa. Yeah. It's different, different time. Different times.

Yeah. People were serious. Yeah. Now everything's a big fat joke. Yeah. Yeah. I wish people were a little more serious. Yeah.

I wish people would say things. In one way. I just, you know, like maybe like no more little boo-boos. Yeah. You know what I mean? We're adults. Like maybe we don't buy toys.

Yeah. Would that be so wrong? This is all hot tags. Yeah. That's a good hot tag. We should start quiz notes takes. Henry doesn't like when I talk about this He bought you buy some way

He got Lafoufoo and it was a really sore subject for him My boyfriend His name's Henry Yeah What's Lafif? When you buy a Labibu And it's fake one His looks demonic

How did he What is a Labibu cost? I don't know And if you accidentally buy a fake one Are you out Are you like I'm ruined? I think it's like They're supposed to be $40 and he got his for 10

And he was like You got that was so But how does he know it's fake. Because the face is all crazy. Well, I hate to break it to you. The faces are crazy on the regulars. It looks like it's been punched in the face.

Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah. I don't like it. But, like, I like your take about not buying toys. I don't agree with it, but I like it. I just think we need, I think that, like, we need adults. I think millennials need to grow up. Yeah.

Are you a millennial? Yep. Okay. And take charge. Right. And I really resent when people don't think, like, millennials are 40 now. Yeah. Shh, don't say that.

Yeah. So it's like we should be in charge of stuff. Yeah, that's true. I remember when you were our young guest. Right. Well, this has been the big thing this week because we were talking about with me and Mark and Ryan. We were like talking about my 30th birthday. And they were like, ha ha, ha, in 10 years.

And I was like, it's in six months. I think it's like the day before Colin Quinn's 30th. Yeah. Yeah. Me and Colin Quinn are doing a joint 30th birthday this year. What is the thing that you want to do within the first year of being 30? Oh, what a great question. Thanks.

Probably run for Senate. Oh, nice. Yeah. Yeah. I can't vote in America. But can you represent? There's no rule that says you can't run for Senate. There's no rule that a dog can be president.

President dog. Love it. President Wuffles. Chair bud. I don't know. Does he sit in a chair? No, chair bud. If he's like the seat.

Yeah, I want to be chairman of the board. Chairman of the bud. A dog would be good at this point. Uh-oh. Yeah, right? Now that's a hot day. No, that's stifling a yawn. Also, just going back, if we're going through the history of you as our guest, you're famously our witchiest guest.

Oh, yes, and I brought you guys tarot cards. Oh, my God. Oh, okay. You want to give it a shuffle. Yes, I do. See if anything pops out for it. You're bad at shuffling. Dave, you shuffle.

Okay. Let's see. Oh, my God. Oh, no. The cards went everywhere. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I wasn't ready for them.

I wasn't. Should I have told you that I brought them for you guys? No, you know what? We forgot to take a picture of our guests. So remind me to do that. Okay. But we can... Maybe the cards will remind me.

Okay. Okay. So what do you want... We can edit out this mishap. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is a part of the... This is life, baby. Yeah.

This is what people tune in for. Oh, they're shuffling. They dropped a bunch. Listen. There you go. SMR. So just pull one. I can't do the boat.

And we'll see what advice it has for you. How many you're in a deck? I don't know. Oh, my God. No more questions. I'm going to get the microphone right next to the shuffle. And. And.

I can't get a bridge thing. Okay. want to take a card? How does it work? So you take it off the middle, take it off the top. You can just go with your instincts. Just pick a card. Pick a card.

And then Graham, after you'll hold it the deck, and then you will pick a card. Then I'll pick a card. Okay. So I take one? Yep, for yourself. Okay, I'm going to cut it in the middle. Nice. And take this one.

Right. Do you want to know what it is? Yep. It's the shit of fuck. Oh, what the hell? That's lucky. No, you're going to love this one because this is like a famous one. Really?

Yeah. Do you want to guess it? No, we're playing. Graham, your turn. Okay. I'm just going to do it. Great. Okay.

Now hand it back to you. Well, sure. This is, do you want to know what mine is? Okay. Well, I'll give you a clue. This is on from 7 to 730 right before Jeopardy. Wheel of Fortune. That's what I got.

Okay. That's really, okay, so the Wheel of Fortune, that's good. Oh, good. Yes. Yeah, that symbolizes that things are up to chance because you sort of done everything right. Sure. And fortune favors the bold.

So take chances. So, yeah, okay. I'd like to buy a vowel. Okay. I thought that would be, I thought, um, yours might like, be a little bit, like, tell us more about your, you and your state of, of your life. Okay, night of cups. That's really honestly the night of cups.

Is it actually? Yep. Show me. It's real fortune. You trickster. Okay, Graham. I'm the trickster. I'm the trickster in the child community.

I am a, uh, a woman and a lot. And strength card. It's strength. Nice. Strength is all about balancing opposing forces. So. For example. For example, like the pleasure.

Like me and Maddie. Yeah, yin and yang. It's like, I mean, the easiest explanation of it, of course, is just like be strong. Okay. Sure. But it is about balancing like material and spiritual. I'm all material. I'm a material girl.

Everyone says it. Everyone says it. You can do great things if you, if you, you know, apply strength. Oh, no. Yeah. I like the first part. The second part, it looks like a drag. Oh, that's why is you pulled this card.

But yeah, it's about balance. And you guys both pulled major archonnas. Go on. Which there's like minor archonists and there's major archonists. And, yeah, these both mean, I would say that something is happening to you spiritually. Yeah. And it's your team. turn to

react to it as opposed to it coming from you. Gotcha. Yep. I'm going to look.

I'm going to take an inventory. Did you guys enjoy that? I did. Yeah. Big money. No whammy.

Do you, do you, as a person knows there, do you take a card? I'll pull one too. Yeah. And then we'll explain what it is.

Okay. Great. Okay. She's pulling a card. She's being weird about it. It's not. Oh, dear.

This is just the Jack of five. That is the five of cups. Five of cups. Five of cups. This is, uh, all right. So V, it's a very lonely looking figure. Yeah.

And this is, V is probably mean five. Upside down, it's like an A without the cross guy. And she's poolside, which is crazy. Yeah. And Howard Hughes is, is, uh, peeping on her. Keeping on her from the Bruce Moose. From the spruce. So what is this guy?

Well, I don't love to see that. It's, um, you know, it's someone who's too caught up in the cups that have fallen in front of him to see the cups that are. To come. To come or there. Someone who's too introspective about heartbreak. But perhaps it is just because I haven't talked to my beloved boyfriend Henry on the phone this week. Well, he's in Indonesia. He's in Indonesia.

Otherwise, I would have talked to him. He's not just not talking to me this week. What's he doing there? He's on a surf trip with his father. Man, I never go on surf trips with my dad. I can't even remember the last one. My dad is all like, oh, let's go skydiving. No, no, dad.

You said cowbungatoo. me like six months ago. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, I'm going on a surf trip with Henry's dad. And how's your spirit? Boy, well, not strong. No, but Wheel of Fortune. Nice.

Here's what's going on with me. So here's a fun little story. Here we go. I, this week, bought a pair of jeans. Ooh. Now you famously have a lot of jeans. I famously have a lot of jeans. But I feel like since I've been playing hockey that my,

hips have become more shapely. Wow. My thighs have become more succulent? Yeah. I was going to say, but I'm glad you said it instead. Yeah, so I wanted to get some jeans that, yeah, accommodate those guys. And so I went and I bought a pair of jeans and then I'm not wearing them right now because I didn't want you guys talking about the fit. Yeah.

I didn't want you singing, why do you look so good in those jeans? How you come around here with an ass like that. Do you know what that is? No. In a Star is born, Lady Gaga is like. When she's on SNL. Yeah, when she's on SNL. And Bradley Cooper's like, no, you're not doing music right.

That's so funny. He was such a grouch in that movie. But like, it's just such a silly song. And I think in the Barbara Streisand version she went on. since he's her show of shows. No, she went on early S&L. Yeah. She was like, oh, man, this.

Yeah, these bees. This balushi guys on to something with just saying some. He's one half of the blues brothers? It's cool that he's saying that stuff that sounds Japanese. It's a different time. Yeah. Anyway, so I got these jeans and I was like, well, they're too long. I need to get them hemmed.

Sure. But I wanted to wear them around the house for a day. to make sure that when I got them hemmed, I know where to hem them. Like have them stretch out a bit on my comely ass. Yeah, yeah, and your succulent legs. So I wore them around the house for a day. Then yesterday morning, I went down to the mall.

Okay. You got these at the mall? Nope. Okay, you got these online. I got them at a store. Got them in a store. Okay. The store offers hemming,

but they say it'll take a high. They do hem and hog. They actually really were. Like, how long? Well, like, if I hem them here, how long until I get them back? And they're like, I don't know. I don't know what you should say. No, they said it would be about a week.

So I was like, I'm going to go to the place I've gone to before in the mall. Sure. And so I went there. I brought the jeans. And I had already pinned them where I wanted them. Sure. And I went up to the lady. And it says, you have to pay with debit or cash.

no credit. Oh, okay. And so I, and I checked my pockets, and I was like, oh, I don't have my wallet on me. I only have my phone, and I could only do credit on my phone. So I said, can I pay when I pick them up? And she said, sure. Can I barter? Yeah.

Would you take this other beverage? Yeah, or like, I can do some modeling. Yeah. For the front of your business. Yeah. And so I dropped them off. She said, come back at three. And around 2 o'clock, I'm like, okay, let me get my wallet.

I can't find my wallet anywhere. I check my car. It's not in my car. I check my, the tray by the front door. I check my bedside table. These are all the hotspots. These are all the hotspots where they would be. I check yesterday's coats.

Today's coats. I've worn many coats today. I, uh, so my wallet is, I used to have a big wallet. Yeah. Now I have a little wallet. I remember you having a big wallet. I have a little card carrier. Yeah.

Where I usually keep it, now I keep it in my front pocket. She's stifling a hundred yawns. Well, you know, it's mostly about the wallet right now. Yeah. Sorry, what are you looking for? Your ticket for the hemmed pants? No, I'm looking for my wallet so I can pay with cash or debit. Right.

I have the ticket for the pants. Oh, my God, this is going to be a classic story. I can already tell it's shaping up. And so they, so I can't find this wallet. Yeah. It sounds like a Dave nightmare. This is a real Dave nightmare. And then, and Abby's picking up the kids from school.

I can't, I can't go downtown and get this thing right now. I don't have, I don't have a compass card. I was going to take the train. Oh, yeah. I don't have my train card, my metro card, you would call it. Just do sky train takes. Oh, my. God.

The dorkiest local politician will be doing that. And then I, I figure, oh, you know what? It's probably in yesterday's pants. Uh-oh. Yesterday's pants are with the person tailoring them right now. Oh, no. So I'm... Oh, I get it.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I finally, I'm like, oh. Those are yesterday's pants. But then I'm like, if I go down and they're not in the pants, how am I going to pay to get the pants? Wash dishes.

I've got to do an e-transfer on my phone. And so I go downtown. Yeah, that's a perfect solution, though. That would work fine, yeah. But I'm worried, but what if I'm wrong? What if they're not in those pants? What if she tailors them into the pants? I know.

How does she steals your identity? It's true. So I go down there. Oh, wait for Abby to get home, and she gives me money. This is your allowance. Yep. And then I go downtown and I walk up and she, the woman at the place gives me my pants and I reach in the pocket and I say, aha, I forgot my wallet in these pants.

And she said, oh, I've got to tell you a story. And so she tells her. No. Yeah. She's like, this one's happened before where a guy brought in a suit. And the wallet fell out of his suit. And so we gave him a call. We said, hey, we found your wallet.

You probably need it before you go home today. and he was like, what are you talking about? We found your wallet. What wallet? And they're like, it's this brown wallet. It's got your ID and your credit card and stuff in it. And he goes, I lost that wallet eight months ago. Why the wallet hasn't been here for eight months.

So the moral of the story is. This guy could, this guy said what wallet? Yeah. Your wallet. Yeah. Well, he's got his wallet. Oh, he's got a new wallet. He's a replacement wallet.

Yeah. Well, no, how soon you're like, well, pays my wallet becomes your regular wallet. Now, I'm drunk with power. I don't move on like that fast. If, uh, if you had to choose aside from credit debit card and SkyTrain card, what is, what card do you like best in your wallet? Oh, my God. What a question. I love my credit card.

This is how big it is. That's a thin. You got an airplane card in there and everything. And you got some cash stuffed in there. Nice. Nice, nice, nice. I love my credit card because it's heavy. Heavy.

What is it? A metal one? It's metal. Well, isn't that, like, high status? I don't know. They just gave it to me. Who did? The bank?

The bank. Really? Chase Bank. Chase Bank. They love to email me. I just moved there, you know. I don't have any credit. And they're like, there you go, you qualify.

You can borrow $700,000. And I go, what? 700,000? They love to email me and they go, you're doing great. You can have $700,000. Wow. When I was in my 20s, my bank would just raise my limit, without asking me.

Whoa. They would be like, okay, now you can have $31,000. All right, I'll take it. But if I ever did that,

I would be in big trouble. I could get $31,000. It would take me months. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also like...

And I would have to not eat or live. Yeah. In the meantime, I'm going to wear jeans that are too long for me. Boy, don't get me started. That was a good story, Dave.

That was a good story. No, I actually thought it was really good. I just think you need to not at the beginning. Yeah, I think it's maybe you, Dave, that was a really good bedtime story. Anyway,

so I'll be hosting S&L with Lady Gaga. Oh, nice. Have you done one of those promos where you're standing with one of the cast? Yeah, it's me, Colin Joe's. And Gaga.

And we're like, hey, I heard you buy that stupid fairy and it's not working out for you. Oh, right. Um, past guest to the show hosted S&L this week, Nikki Glazer. Whoa. Yeah. Huge.

Huge. And she followed me on Instagram. In the same week or? In the same week. And she was having a big week, so I appreciate her taking the time. Hell yeah. Is that the only past guest who's hosted SNL? Well, Adrian Brody came on.

Yeah, that's true. Well, he came on as Rasta, man. We're like, this better not end up on us. This is ours. This is property of stuff, I guess, so you're not. Mickey Glazer is so funny So funny It's crazy

It's crazy I'm so glad that she's getting her due Big time Yeah Oh she'll get hers What's going on with you I My wife Sally

Her parents live on Salt Spring Island Pictures Exotic exotic Exotic island Is there a salt spring Not that I've seen Is there a thing that does

That you go visit The Salt Spring And everyone kind of like bows towards I don't. I never seen the Salt Spring. Also, their main road. Is there a Mr. Galliano?

But it is like, I've never thought about the name. Neither of I, really. Because all the other islands are, yeah, named after human beings. Hmm. Well, we don't know if there's Jeffrey S. Salispring. Jeffrey Sepsstein. Yeah, I should probably ease off on Jeffrey anything for the moment.

Right. But the island filled. This better be a good start of the story because she is fading fast. So this needs to start in media's race. But we were there for just a couple days. But the day that we arrived, big day in Salt Spring, giant book sale. Giant book sale, this is donated books from all sorts of residents there.

And the books themselves are not giant. No, they are, yeah. Oh, really? And they're about a giant. They're all James and the giant beanstalk. You should have seen Graham's face in that half second in between James and the Giant and Beanstalk. I'm picturing the Far Side comic where there's like three little men sitting on a chair together reading a giant copy of little women. So big day, big day on the island.

This is, we've been told leading up to our visit. This is book sale day. And you were able to even get a spot on the ferry over. We flew. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wait, can I ask a question with the book sale? Go on.

So is it like, oh, the. Is it like everyone's going to sell their books they don't want from our house? They've donated. I think it all ends up going to charity. So these are books that have been donated. Okay, got it. They have a book drive first. Yeah.

Got it. And like this is, aside from the fall fair, this is the big day. Right. Book sale day. And huge, huge, huge multi-room, a whole community center worth of books. Wow. Yeah, and it was, first of all, where do you start? Where do you start with that many books?

I mean A. Yeah. I tried to find something that was B, and I couldn't find it. Was it alphabetical or was it? It was alphabetical? Really? Yeah, it was. But that was in the fiction.

All the fiction section was one giant room. I don't know. What am I going to dive into fiction? What, who am I fiction? Yeah. Well, do you read? What do you read? I read mostly nonfiction

I like a biography This is something we don't know about you Yeah I mean Sometimes I feel a fiction At the end of it I'm like So what Yeah I could have made up the thing as well That never happened

I sometimes have a little bit of a You know you made this up right Yeah You know you did I think that's also just when they're too long Yeah but I do that on page one These people don't have these feelings about each other Sorry Sally Rooney

Yeah Sue Graffin You are normal people You're right. So it's a giant, giant tables. I'll tell you where you went, Bernadette. That's not her, but that's when I recently picked up from the free library. Where'd you go, Bernadette? What is that?

I don't know. It sounds like a kid's book. Kay Blanchett, was it the movie version of it. Oh, nice. Maybe I'll watch that tonight. I'll give you the book if you want it. Yeah? Okay.

I dare you. But then there's an equally, no. smaller room all nonfiction So I'm going This stuff I love this stuff I love it

I'm going Tales of Adventure Yeah Yeah exactly John Kretchen's autobiography And so I'm I'm working it

I'm Kitty Kelly's book About Nancy Reagan Is that a thing Yeah It was big Wait can I say A Ronald Reagan story

Really quick So you guys know my stepdad It was on the X-Files Yes Your stepdad was on the X-Files This is canon for the show. I don't just talk about it all the time.

How often, how many times? Or is he recurring? Yeah. Yeah. So he last night we're sitting there. What's his name? Nick Lee. Nick Lee from the X-Files.

Last night we were sitting watching television and something about Reagan came on. And he went, I have a Christmas card from Ronald Reagan. Whoa. I went, what? And he said, yeah, he, I don't know how I got it, but he wrote a card to the X-Files and said, I love the show. Weird. Wow. In his later years.

Isn't that so wild? That's going to be in your inheritance. You're going to get the Roller Reagan letter. Yeah. He doesn't have it in a frame somewhere. He's just got it in an envelope. No, he's an evil name. We're not into him.

Does he have biological kids? Well, if I had somebody, Joseph Stalin sent me a card, I'd certainly show it off. I have some Christmas cards from Pee Wee Herman. Yeah, that's true. That's really good. He was very, I barely worked with him, and he sent me stuff on my birthday every year and sent me Christmas cards every year. That's classy. I should do that.

I know your Christmas card. I know your address. Yeah, you can do it. Have you seen the documentary? No. During one of the interviews, his alarms keep going off because it's all this person's birthday, this person's birthday. So he does, he takes time, like, send a GIF.

But every time I would text him back, because I only worked with him for, like, a week. And over Skype. When I did the Maximum Fun produced the Pee-E-Herman radio. hour one time. And so he would send me these, like, animated gifts on my birthday. And if I ever wrote him and said, ha, ha, thanks. He wouldn't reply. He would just keep sending gifts.

Yeah. And then one time, like, I would occasionally text him throughout the year and never get a reply. Except one time, I saw a bunch of motorcycles that had fallen over. Yeah. And I texted it to him. And what did he say? He said, ha, how have you been? Aw.

Such a sweet man. So this is, I'm going through Sorry we got really done. It's okay. We still haven't finished your hair routine. Yeah, that's true. No, for real. And then, like, okay, so there's a wide variety of nonfiction books that go from a giant coffee table book of just photos of women.

I can't remember who. And Anne Gettys. I do like photos of women. Yeah. By the pool, I prefer. Yeah. Except the pages go wet. Oh, and that was, okay, so here's hot take.

This is my hot take. You guys know the, like, Uncle John bathroom reader, but they should never, ever be for resale. No, yeah. Those go in the trash once they're done. Good point. The Seinfeld, this book's been in the bathroom. And it's probably been in the bathroom a long time. So, no, those shouldn't be for resale.

They shouldn't accept them at the book sale. They should throw them out. I'm disgusted that they exist. Yeah. I mean, in a pre-phone era, what were you going to do? I used to like... Get in and out. That's my policy.

I used to like that. Reading, don't read anything on the toilet. It's disgusting. This is not leisure time. Get in and out. Cool. If you spend that much time on the toilet, metamusal. Yeah.

But if you're at work, you want to just spend a little time on the company time. I just, I, okay, well, I have an overactive pelvic floor. Sure, yeah. How are you, what's your UTI Sitch? Terrible. Oh, shit. Terrible. Something I know about you.

Yeah. Well, everyone. knows it about me because it's such a big part of my life, you see. Something just flew in Maddie's mouth. What are we talking about? The bathroom? So part of the reason I get so many UTIs because we've learned recently, I have an overactive pelvic floor. And so I usually have to do math in my, to pee.

Okay. I'll be, I have to, if you hear me, if you're, if you're close to me, by bathroom, I sit down, I go, 75 plus 60. 135. Nice. But, like, so a reading would be good for me as well in terms of distracting.

Because of it calms down your pelvic floor. It just gets me out of my head. Yeah. And it knows you when you're worried. The pelvic floor communicates with the brain. It sees you when you're sleeping. But I used to like, like, a comic book in there. I put a fit bit up there.

It says my kegles are going to control. Oh, I am not allowed to be kegles. Eagling at all. That would kill me. What about wassling around Christmas? Are you allowed to do that? Okay, so that's your hot take is about the bathroom readers. Absolutely.

You should do, I think that's a good take. You should write a memoir about your time in New York and say from cagels to bagels. One girl's journey through life. But here, I realize halfway through, I haven't bought a book in ages. Really? Yeah. Why? I'll either take something from the library or just like, I don't.

You mean the city library? Or the little free ones? I would take the free one. I take stuff for the free ones. I never read it. You can me do that? No, well, that's the thing too. Easy come, easy go.

Yeah. I've bought books. Never even crack the cover. Just like the cover, like the write-up on the back. I'm buying this book. So then I was like, I'm going to buy books that I know that aren't going to be books that I feel pressured into reading. Correct.

So I'm going to look for something dumb for a stupid idiot. And a collection of short stories, nonfiction short stories, and I bought a bunch of those. And so I'm now, I'm flying through, essays, little bit of, sometimes there's like a comic strip in it. Like it's from a bunch of different authors. They all submit a thing to this publisher. Do you guys remember the book, the Darwin Awards? Yes. Do you remember that?

Yeah. It's for very stupid people. It was a book about, like, people who had died in famously stupid ways. Yeah. And I remember my grandparents reading it to me as a child and, like, we were all laughing. And I think actually it was kind of a good thing to read to a child because it was a good reminder of like, you are mortal and you actually can't be stupid about it. Yeah, what are the thing? Without being like too, like, careful on me.

I feel like the things that come to mind were, was there a guy who died in a room full of his own farts? Absolutely. I remember one was like a guy like hooked a car battery up to a lake so that the fish would all die and then he jumped in the lake. Oh, shit, the first half of that idea is not bad. Yeah, he didn't connect it. That seems like, uh, huh. If he was wearing rubber waiters, he would have been fine. Right.

A car battery? He wasn't, well, he was a smaller leg. Maybe he was a big car. Yeah. Was there a guy, was there like a guy who did a bunch of balloons on a, um, oh, on like a lawn chair? A lawn chair. Yeah.

I feel like that's right. A way a guy died. When I was a kid, I was at my grandparents' house, They had like a best of time magazine photos in the bathroom. And I remember opening it up and the very first photo was a picture of a woman who committed suicide by jumping off the Empire State building. Oh, my God. Wow. And then the next one's a diner.

Oh, my God. That's so funny. Yeah, here's an idea. Uncle John's bedroom reader. There we go. Now we're talking. It's, you know, full of soft tail. Quiet moment

It's the Kama Sutra for toilet people For toilet people Anyways I bought a bunch of books I'm working my way through I'm excited So maybe it's time for me To fall in love with books What's your

How many books you read a year? Not that many I'm at two this year Yeah I think I think maybe last year I'd five I think I would be in the two Two or three maybe What about

Starting one and not finishing it because I'm at that I'm hundreds. I keep a list of the ones I finished. Okay. Because it motivates me to finish them because I agree. I start a lot of books. Yeah. I start a lot of books and then I... Yeah, I'm talking about finished.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And what do you, like, I follow some people on Instagram that just like do like a collection of Twitter posts and it's like 20 posts and one... Right. Is that kind of a book? Yeah, technically that's a book. Of course.

20 slides is a book. It counts as a magazine. I'll say that. Yeah. Okay, thanks Taylor Lorenz 3.0. Oh, she's so good. She never misses. She's...

Who is this? Who is this? I worry about her mental health because it's very, it seems very bipolar. Well, she'll have nothing for days and then eight posts that are 20 slides each. So she's a reporter. Yeah. And she wrote a book about the internet. But she also runs probably the best meme aggregator on the internet, I would say.

Which is? Taylor runs 3.0. Okay. Good work, you guys. Nice. Good intro. always like so it's so it's she's just a call she's she's got a finger on the pulse yeah she knows what we're thinking about and she's yeah but she also tells she'll tell you what to think

about mostly COVID mostly about COVID um she's pro mask pro mask sure why not sure why not not not hurting anybody being pro mask um do you guys want to move on to some overheard yep yep ready go knock knock who's there we got this with Mark and Hal? You knew this one. We can't put that out as an ad. We just did new episodes every week on Maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcast. Now it's Hewn in Rock.

Hewn in Rock. Yeah. How do you hew something in rock? With a chisel. There's only one Hugh in Rock and it's Huey Lewis. And the news is we got this with Mark and Howells available every week on Maximum Fun.org. I walked right into that. Have you need a gift for a Max Fun fan in your life?

Or maybe you need some ideas to fill up a wish list of your own. Heck, maybe you just want to pick up something for yourself as a little treat. Well, the Max Fun Holiday Gift Guide is here for all of your gift-giving and gift-wanting needs at maximum fun.org slash gift guide. Of course, there's show merch like clothing, hats, bookmarks, stickers, even a candle. But there's also a bunch of other cool stuff made by your favorite hosts, like comic book. graphic novels, music, art, and jewelry. Go check out the gift guide and make sure you order soon

so things get there in time for the holidays. Maximumfund.org slash gift guide. Overheard. You know this segment. You know what it's all about. And if you don't, if you're a first time listener, this is where we hear things out of the world and we report them here on the podcast.

We always like to start with the guest. Maddie, do you haven't overheard. I haven't overheard, and it's actually perfect because it was in a bookstore. Perfect. Yep. So I'm in the bookstore. I'm looking for books. I end up buying a calendar, but that's neither here nor there.

What year? 2026. Well, that's a good one. And I, the woman, another woman is making small talk with the employees, and they're happy to be making that small talk. It seems like everyone really wants to be making this small talk. They love the smell of the books. They love the smell of the books. And she says, I can't buy too many books.

I'm traveling back to the States. I have the only have a suitcase. Right. Oh, totally. I would, you know, everyone's relating to this. Sure. Maybe like three, four seconds of silence. And she goes, this woman, this proves from America.

She goes, so how is elbows up going? It's going great. Isn't that awesome? How is elbows up going? I never thought of it as... Almos up going? Not great. Guys, I'll tell you what.

I bought Canadian jeans the other day. Really? Nice. Canadian jeans. And you got them altered by Canadian. By Canadian with a Russian accent. There you go. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. The coffee drinking is from a Canadian. Yeah. You know, coffee. But they were grown. Would you guys say your elbows have come a little bit down? Uh, no.

No. No. Check that out. I mean, I'm not like, I mean, in the grocery store, sure I'm not only reaching for the things that have the maple but I'm not traveling across the border and I usually would yeah me too I'm too scared and

they just introduce legislation that they can kick you out if you're obese I'm like well there we go that's yeah that's the legal I miss that one well what if they look at how my ass was filling out those old jeans of mine come over here let us all look at your ass Becky, you got a second? Come over here and see these guys. You got a quarter where you need to bounce something off of something. They've made the last penny in America.

I know. Yes. And so does that mean effectively that a penny's not going to be a coin anymore for a A penny saved is no longer a penny. Fuck, and you can't get one for your thoughts either. Same as us. They'll be around. Yeah?

We don't, I haven't seen a penny. We don't discriminate. What? If you were to pay with pennies, you're allowed. You're allowed. Yeah, but, you know. It is sad because I love finding a penny on the street. Yeah, all the day you'll have good up.

Yeah, I always pick them up. Even in New York, it's disgusting there. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they got gum that's been on that sidewalk since the 50s. Joe DiMaggio chewed this gum. Do I have an overheard? Yes, do you? As a matter of fact, I do.

I was at a coffee shop, not only like the one I saw you at today. Okay, coffee, tea, et cetera. Coffee, tea, Sega. And there were some men. A couple of men, oh, I'd say they're a couple of years, a few years older than me, maybe 50-ish. There wasn't a little kid with them. So it was just two men, not a half man. Two men.

Yeah, and there was not a third man and a baby. And there was not, there were no girls or pizza places there either. Okay, yes. And so there was two men sitting in a coffee shop. And one of them. said to the others, to the other, did you see Saturday Night Live this week? They had that Sabrina Carpenter dancing around in her underwear. My favorite thing about that appearance is that she had a microphone that looked like a, like a co.

Yeah. I know. That's so epic. It's right. It's so funny and so cool. She's so cool. I really love to that there's like, there's a world of pornography out there. But they're like, here's something that's, you know, a little titillating from television.

Yeah, maybe it's come back around. where it's like, I want to see somebody's ankle, you know? Also, it was... She's girly cute. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And she's so short. She seems fun.

Yeah. Short and sweet. She's short and sweet. It would be very weird if they were like, check out of this pornography. Did you see this pornography from the internet? Yes. Which one? Who's, what's your search term?

Oh, my God. Sabrina Carpenter ankle. Um. my overheard comes from being on the island and going to the grocery store and a mother and her son who wasn't wearing shoes. And this is in October? Yep. November? He wasn't wearing shoes.

They were going to the grocery store. And he said, he was more excited than any boy I've ever heard. He said, well, you didn't tell us we were going to the grocery store. It's a big day out. My kids, I can't convince them to go to the grocery store. Really? Yeah. I mean, I used to have forced them.

Mm-hmm. And then it was like, you know, you put them in the stroller or in the cart. Yeah. There was a great one at Bilo Foods used to have carts that had steering wheels. Yes. Yeah, those were old. And then COVID happened. And you didn't, you were, we had to, like, line up to go into the grocery store.

Oh, my God. And then after that, I don't think they've willingly gone with me. I will, honestly, I will wander around a grocery store and not buy anything. Oh, I love grocery stores. I love the lineup. or the aisle that's all cereal and, like, how bright it is. Oh, that's some straight eye lighting in there. I would go every day.

Yeah. And then I would go to the farmer's market for fun. Yeah. I love markets. Yeah. You have a grocery near where you live in. Yes. Yeah.

What I love is the marketplace of ideas, which is what the show basically is. That's true. What is that market I saw Andrew McCarthy at? It's like, is it like, it's named after a neighborhood, but what is the neighborhood? Is it Soho Market? Is that what it's called? Is it Little Italy Market? Oh, are you talking about like Eataly?

No. It's a place that had like a bunch of stalls. It's basically, remember me of Granville Island. Oh. Brooklyn. Cleaning above me. On the water? Tin Palace.

Near the high line. In Chelsea. Chelsea Market. Chelsea Market. Oh, you guys got there. Well done, you guys. Oh, you were in Chelsea Market. I see.

Yeah. They have a store in there With all the stuff that's like from Chinatown And I really like that store You know where you could go for even more stuff from China But that's what you would kind of surprise you Is you kind of like the touristy Chinatown version You know?

Because it's like has stuff for kids And then I actually use that as my purse You use a kid as your purse? I use a kid's purse as my purse Oh sure Is that where you get a fake lobooboo? I call them a lafoufoo's Now someone is

Cleaning the tiles above our hands It sounds like they're doing a good job It sounds like they're playing ice hockey. They might be playing ice hockey on tile. Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the world. If you want to send one in, send it into SPY at maximum fund.org. And if you need, if you're cleaning your place, this will just sound normal. Sorry, I wanted to say they, it sounds like they're playing air hockey.

That's true. Anyways. Too late. Now, this first one comes from Kevin from Fort Collins. Colorado, Colorado? Yeah. I was at a grocery store years ago and saw someone walk up to an employee restocking the bread shelves and ask, where do you keep all the condoms or whispering tortillas?

Right. Yeah, I don't, is that because it's two things that are rap, the rap? You don't wrap your penis. I do. Like, there's, and then I let it wrap. You let it like do a little like, freestyle. Hey, everybody, I live in your pants. Thanks for inviting to the something dance.

Yeah, intercourse dance. Don't put a condom on me. So he was like, where are your condoms? Yeah. And then he was like, wink, wink, where are the tortillas? Yeah. Why would you look harder for the condoms before you ask an employee? I don't know.

They're often, you know, I wouldn't think of them being a thing that you get in a grocery store necessarily. Oh, they got them. They got them. They got them. They're usually in the aisle. Yeah. With the, like, like, they'll just be labeled family planning. And it'll be like a calendar that everybody writes their schedule.

Yeah, my augulation schedule. But they have like. Pregnancy tests. So it is sort of two sides of the same coin. They should have it at Trader Joe's. I'm realizing there's no condoms at Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's condoms? Well, huge

That would be awesome And they could Have a character Name Trader Ho Who's like a slutty person Because they do that right? Yeah Take people's subcultures

This next one comes from Stephanie One time on the bus As we were passing a cemetery I heard a guy with a southern accent Seeing himself There's the cemetery All them's dead

Whoa. Yeah. He sounds like he was dead. Yeah. Oh, do you think? Ghost vibes. She saw ghost on the bus. Wow, I certainly have.

Yeah? Oh, like, you see ghosts, right? Mm. Have you seen a ghost? I've seen people that I think are haunted. Have you seen the TV show ghosts? No. I auditioned for it every couple weeks.

We had Rose McIver. Yes. On the pod. One of the pods. She is an actor? She's the star of ghosts. Okay. She's so.

Nice. She was also the star of I-Zombie. Was that what it was called? Perhaps, yeah. And she was on, let's make a horror. This next one comes from Luke D. in Nashville, Tennessee. In Costco bathroom, a very young boy was standing at the urinal with his pants and underwear down around his ankles. Classic kid thing.

Classic. Bare bottom sticking out, his dad noticed, and yanked up his pants while the boy was still being in a high-pitched southern accent. He said, hey, what's the big deal? All these southern people. Yeah. Love it. Love it. I reckon I was airing out my patooke.

Hey, what's the big deal? Now, maybe he does that at home. Yeah, like that's just so funny. It feels like it's a phrase that you pick up from a grandparent. Yeah. I'm picturing a kid with like one overall strap on. Yeah. But I guess they both come down.

Chewing on a piece of wheat. Mm-hmm. This and also in addition This is a fun boring dream And if you haven't been to our Discord You go to Discord There's a whole section just of boring dreams It's a lot of fun to go to

Yeah there's a boring dream section Is called My Traveler Retired And there's a check it out There's all these great parts There's a horror movie section Of the Discord There's a The big two

The one about the podcast There's one of just general There's one that's about the bonus content. Yeah, it's fun. It's a lot of fun. So if you do feel like you want this right on the air, send your boring dreams over to me, and I will read them. Yeah, or call them in. Yeah, those are fun too.

This is from Olivia. I haven't overheard of the boring dream category. I recently switched to a new deodorant. Last night, I had a dream that I was scrolling the website to see if they had this new deodorant in a travel size. When I realized they didn't have a travel size, I was going to email them. to suggest it, but I woke up before sending that email. That's a very boring dream. That is a very boring dream.

Did you ever have boring dreams? Oh, no. My dreams are so insane. Are they? Yes, they're so insane. I'm not even in them all the time. You're just watching. It's just like, and it has like movie cinematography and like cuts and different kinds of textures.

You must love going to bed. Sometimes, sometimes scary for me. Yeah, did you ever put your dreams in your letterboxed? No. But one time, okay, my only recurring dream is I have a lot of dreams where I'm like saving little baby animals from harm. That's nice. But then recently it was like, I had this little, that had already happened in the dream. And I was like, had this little black pug.

And I was like going to find it the right home because I wasn't, I was like, oh, I'm traveling a lot. Yeah. Yeah. And the hell? Speaking of dogs, we're at the coffee shop. Oh, my God. That he like, just out of nowhere lost it. And it's because, like, lost it.

Just like, ah. Okay. And it's because she thought it she saw a bear walking past the coffee shop. And then you look. And I looked and I was like, easily could have been a bear. Oh. Giant, giant dog. Huge dog that was like brown with black on the end.

So it had that bear texture to the fur. Oh. And he like is probably the breed of dog that, you know, people in the mountain would have to like ward off bears and wolves and stuff. The bear warred dog. I've never seen a dog like that. No, me neither. It was wild. We also saw a guy with a stripy red shirt and a tucco.

And glasses. And there's no way he knew. And that was epic. He looked like Waldo. That's when I knew you guys were aligned. He was like, Dave walks in, he goes, did you find Waldo? Graham goes, saw him immediately. I was like, this is why you guys have a show for 20 years.

Because you guys get each other. We get it. That dream that the person wrote in reminded me I was driving my kids to school this morning and my wife Abby's birthday is coming up and I said to the kids what should we get her for her birthday and Poppy my eight year old said deodorant I said why because she stinks yeah yeah six back poppy's a little roast battle she's a real roast battle queen little Don Rickles in addition overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos send a voice memo to

SPY at MaximumFund.org or call us at 1.844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, spy pod one, like these people have. Do you like boring dreams? Yeah, let's start with one. Okay, here we go. Hi, this is Jeff, Graham's former across-the-hall neighbor, calling in with a very boring over dreamt. I dreamt that I was on my way to work on the bus

and wanted to wear my headphones and I pulled them out and they were my old headphones which didn't sound as good as my new headphones and I was disappointed that was it all right off I go that is really boring

that is really boring oh the wrong headphones and you remember this guy you got him evicted Yep, because he wouldn't stop knocking on my door. He and his wife bought a place downtown. Congratulations, guys. Yeah, real estate owners. Wow.

Yeah. They bought a place downtown. Downtown. They bought an entire skyscraper. And I was like, you guys are going from a one-bedroom apartment to skyscraper all in one move. And he said, ain't no thing. That was his phrase. It ain't no thing.

And here's your next phone call. Hi there, it's Mike from Sydney, Nova Scotia, calling in with an overheard. I'm a teacher here. And I don't know if you know this, but young people, young kids all the way up to high school, they get on to these phrases that they say over and over again. I don't know where they pick them up, TikTok or whatever. I've had lots over the years. One kid used to just yell,

you constantly um i went through a time when one girl was saying not today grandpa over and over again uh i got a kid in my class now named josh uh josh is big into this kind of thing for a few days it was uh he'd come in and he'd say it's a nice fall day how you doing he'd say that you know kind of over and over again last couple days it's been come on brad which he did yell out probably every five to ten minutes today I heard him say it one time and I said to one of the other guys in the class

who's Brad? And he said oh that's a phrase from a few years ago. Josh is just an idiot. Thanks guys. Keep up with the times. Love it. Love it. Yeah. That was great. I love that none of them are like recognizable things that caught on

like they're just like fine things to say. They're not like skibbitty toilet or whatever. kids are like if they get a laugh once they'll try like 20 more times they don't learn that very quickly I remember a guy in

junior high Dave E and he's he's a bit and I made me laugh every time was he just kept going up and sharpening his pencil the same pencil and just kept shorter and shorter but during class like while the teacher was talking he'd go up and

every time he did I thought this is the funniest fucking thing I wonder where he is now. Probably on Broadway. Was there, were there all Dave's? Was Dave the most

popular name in your school? Yeah, probably. Yours? Dave, yeah. Then Michael. Michael, yeah.

Michael. Maddie, for sure. Maddie Madeline? Madeline or Madison. Oh, Madison. In my kids, in Margo's class, she has three Ethan's.

Sure. And maybe four Charlies. Charlie, yeah. Charlie. We have a lot of Alex's. There's Charlie A, Charlie B, Charlie X-E-X. And here's your final phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and probable, beautiful guest.

This is Melissa from Mobile, Alabama. I just haven't overheard for you. I finished yoga and was getting in my car, and a woman walked by on her way into the rec center. And she was on the phone, and she said, maybe a little separation would do you some good, you know? You're a 37-year-old man. You probably don't need to call your mom five. times a day and then I didn't hear the rest and I thought wow no friggin way or or maybe probably often there's a lot of friggin way to that one uh off I go I love that accent I love Alabama

yoga um me too boy yoga is really spread yeah what do you think they yeah what are the big pauses what are the big poses uh pauses sorry I'm new to Alabama yoga Um, the General Lee, uh, is that tree pose, but like a hickory tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And frozen custard. Mm-hmm. Perfect. Shavashina.

Shurashina. Hey, don't bother me when I mean, shavassana. I'm corpse in here. Well, that'll bring us to the end of the show here. And, Maddie, people can see you in New York in December. Yep. At the Union Hall. And I'm also going on tour in the new year.

Are you really? But I haven't announced it yet because I'm finalizing things. Announce, announce, announce. But you can follow me on Instagram or you can get on my mailing list. Cool. And you're met at Maddie Kelly? Yeah, it's Maddie Kelly. It's Maddie Kelly on Insta.

And TikTok. And I'll just start up the vacuum in the next room and then we'll be good to go. Well, thank you so much for being our guests. Thank you for having me. I love you guys. Did you have any caffeine before the show? I had to see. I should have had a coffee.

Yeah. Dave was hyper and I was a little tired. And I was just right. Yeah. Yep. And thank you everybody out there for listening. If you have a specific yoga from your state, please send it in. And come on back next week for another episode to stop podcast to yourself.

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