Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 924 - Abdul Aziz

Episode Date: December 2, 2025

Comedian Abdul Aziz returns to talk Stitches, a fetching machine, and a spooky movie theatre.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host. Stop podcasting yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody. And welcome to episode number 924 of Stop Podcast Yourself. My name's Graham Clark.

I'm with me as always as a man who will get. to it but boy oh boy we brim into the head to the top to all the way to the top of the place with uh with gifts galore mr dave shumka yeah we'll get to this we're brimbing to the all the way to the top to the head to the hip to the hip out of the with gifts galore um and if you know if you listen to the podcast regularly enough you know who's the the man behind the gifts the gift bear you return uh guest to stop by guys yourself. It's Abdul Aziz.

Oh, ho, oh, Merry Christmas. Well, let's get to know us. Yeah. Now, the reason we're getting to know us so early is because we have a

full table. And if you go to our Instagram, you'll see what's going on on this table right now. Abdul as last time Abdul was here Yeah Hi thanks for joining Yeah thank you for joining me back Also you have the last season of your

podcast about lore is happening at the end Next week next week next week It's starting isolation Yeah thank you Yes we gotta get that plug out of the way Got it It's done Yeah we're not going to talk about it anyway

Last time he was here He famously brought us a edible arrangement and edible arrangement And not edible's like wow We're getting real relaxed and high I kind of felt that way though Eating too many of them Yeah I was in it was

It's like this indica or sativa And he was like it's cantaloupe Sir, this is a Wendy's and sir That is cantalope And he also brought us Like 12 bottles of It was 12 bottles of prime Because I wanted you guys to have your pick of flavors

Yeah I'm surprised prime is Prime's done right or is it Is it still around 12 bottles of prime 11 Mr. Beast Feastables 10 photos of Luke Is Luke his name?

Luke and Devin are those the names? The Prime boys? The Prime boys. He's brought us another edible arrangement. This one, they got your name wrong. Do you see it here? I did, I see it. I saw that.

What is it? Abe Duel, okay. That's Abdul with an extra E in there. That's my alternate identity. So, thank you. Yeah. We're going to devour these. You're going to hear us open it up and crinkle the paper and look at all these chocolate cover strobs.

Did we get to know us? Get to know us. Okay, good. But we're going to do that. What is your relationship with edible arrangements? We asked you this last time, I'm sure. I'm sponsored by edible arrangements. Just like a general you're just sponsored?

I know. Here's the thing is last time it was. It was very last minute. I did want to get you guys a host gift that was nice. Yeah. So I looked around. You call it a host gift or a guest gift? I think it's a host gift when you bring a gift to someone's house for hosting you.

And it's for us. We are the host. You are the hosts. And would you agree where the host was the most? I would say. So having seen you. So the last time I was like, I kind of left it to the last minute. An edible arrangement was all I could get.

This time I did want to go bigger. Yeah. And I was trying to get you guys one of those, like, Tower of Cream Puff pyramids. Oh, yes. Yeah. Do we know what that is? You see them like, are they like macarones or something? I think they're cream puffs.

And it's called a croquembush. It's something that you see at, like, weddings or fancy parties. Yeah, you got to keep that refrigerated, though, because of the cream. Yeah. So I would have had to pick it up fresh. And I called every bakery in the lower mainland. And none of them can do it in time. We don't do pyramids of them.

We only do pentagrams. We're working on the Taj Mahalo. So I did have to revert to the edible arrangement. Okay. And what was the, like, what kind of notice do they need to prepare a thing like this? Day of. Wow. Yeah.

Where do you go down to them? Yeah. I picked it up at the one on Arbutus. Oh, it's at 277.7.9 Arbutus Street. And for people who haven't seen this before, it looks like. like a flower arrangement, but it's pieces of fruit. It's got strawberries, two types of melon. You got yourself some pineapple, and then the most erotic food of all.

Chocolate covers stress. What you said. Where are they? I didn't know that... They're at 2779 Arbutus Street. Oh, they're on a Bruton Street. That's not a bad way. Just like five minutes away from here.

So do you just order this today and get it? I ordered it last night, but you can do same-day orders. Love it. Yeah. And if you use the checkout code... Abe duel as he is. You can get 15% off. That's good.

That's not bad at all. Does it have a card on it? Oh, no, there is a discount thing on the back. Oh, 10%? 10%? Actually, the holiday cheer 10 is the code for 10% off. And holiday tier 20 is, and that's valid in Canada until 1231, 25. I can't believe we don't have an edible arrangement as sponsorship.

Well, here you go. You say, edible. arrangement, always special. You have to say a tagline at the end. Yeah, and you have to say edible arrangement. Yum, yum, in my tumult. Yeah, give it to me in my mouth.

Let me put it in my face. Give it to me in my mouth. Daddy. So you want to use the discount code daddy. Edible arrangement. Oh, what a fun funeral. We put the fun in funeral.

If you had to write out of the gates, if you had to plant a food, or at least a lunch situation for your funeral. What are we talking? Are we talking to sandwiches? Are we talking some sort of like... Oh, an edible arrangement? Lunch situation?

Yeah. My funeral is an all-nighter, baby. Yeah, we're not doing daytime fune. Is that, are we talking about a rave or something? Yep. Where they're doing the DJ booth off of your casket kind of thing? Uh-huh. Okay.

And instead of food, you'll, everyone will be given a pacifier. Oh, nice. He was so young. And cool. But he waited until death, the show, how much he loves that's music. It was a secret. What about you? Who do your funeral?

Funeral? I would do a bowl, a salad bowl full of Malteseers. Nice. And you? Have we got to know us? No, let's get to know. Okay. Get to know us.

I don't know. I think I'm kind of convinced by this edible arrangement. but the thing you were talking about with the cream sounds pretty good as well so I maybe have a couple of those kicking around candy bowls for the kids a wedding cake that you cut in the smear into my face

open casket or do they have to get in? They put you on a chair and lift you up like a Jewish wedding I want to do everything Kiss me under the mistletown They dress you up like Santa Claus and push you down a chimney

I want to run from a bull I want to have a tomato thrown at me. The Weekend at Bernie's. Oh, man. Have you seen The Weekend at Bernie's pictures? No. Oh, they're good. What are they?

Part one. What, you just referenced them. The movies? I know what the movies are, but I don't know what the picture is specific. Oh, you mean the films. When you say that. I thought you meant photographs. As in I ought to be in pictures.

Okay. They're sort of like 24 pictures of a second. Yeah. And so have you... Have you seen the movies? I have it. I just know them as a cultural touchpoint. Because the first one I saw in the movie theater.

Did you? I believe it was the summer I fell in love with film. Oh, nice. What else you see that summer? I want to say it was 1989, and if so, then it was Batman. It was Honey I Shrunk the Kids. Whoa. It was Ghostbusters 2.

Mammothier. It was the abyss. Holy shit. Girl is in the mist. Or if it was 90, then it was the second year I fell in love with film, and it was Dick Tracy and erectionophobia. Now, but it's a guy dies and his two employees. Employees have to pretend he's still alive, so they put sunglasses on him.

Because they're committing fraud, but in order for them to make it work, he has to be seen by people at this resort. I see. If they find out he's dead, everything's null and void. Right. But they can pretend for one weekend that he's still alive. And should we get to know us? And then in the second one, I haven't seen the second one,

but it starts right after the end of the first one. And there's suddenly a voodoo curse that... Yeah, they got a voodoo priest to resurrect him. And every time there's music play, he starts walking around. But he doesn't talk or anything. He's just still like a pop-out. That's such a classic 90s movie thing, where the first one is played pretty straight.

And then the second one, they're like, yeah, but magic also is. exist. Yeah. The second, like, there's, or it's like, yeah, we had this other script

and we're just going to repurpose it and make it a Bernie's part of the Bernie verse. There was one, uh, there's two of them mannequin and mannequin too.

Mm-hmm. Have you ever heard of mannequin? I don't believe I have. It was a young Kim Cottrell. Yamakipiato said Array Pasebo in Doug Latin, he quotes. Uji,

Safas, hooray. What is that? Kim Katrall. From, oh, you scatting. She's not scatty. She's quoting a poem. But she's a mannequin that comes to life,

which is just magical or whatever. And then the second one, it's like it's been carved and it's an ancient statue from somewhere and it's cursed. It's not Kim Ketrel. She did not come back for the sequel. Was Tom Hanks the guy in that?

No. No, it was. What's his name? Andrew McCarthy? Andrew McCarthy? No, was it? Yeah. Wasn't he also?

We were going to Bernie's? Yeah, I think he's both. It happened in the Bernieverse. It might have been Bernie adjacent. The crinkling you're hearing is us opening this thing. Here I'll move these out of there. In case listeners, we're wondering what that sounded. It's me being, I'm salivating.

I just can't wait. I've been looking at it during the whole pod. Is this bigger than the last time? It is. Okay, I'm going to go straight for a strawberry covered in chocolate. It's very erotic. Do it erotically. Yeah.

Drag it up and down my jawbone. Dave, you have to stop. There you go. Full access. Okay. You gotta go. It'll go chocolate, strawberry. I should have brought.

The only napkins I have are glasses cleaning cloth. Microfiber. Nice. Graham brought. this own napkin. Always have a napkin in my pocket. Well, that's time you got covered in chocolate. As I learned.

You don't have any fruit? I can't eat fruit because I'm still doing keto. So this is actually all you guys. This is the fruit you wish you could be having. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the, like, yeah, I get to watch you guys eat it. Oh, sure. Yeah.

What's going on keto-wise? It's a lot of steaks, a lot of avocado, a lot of nuts. I'm fatty nuts Doing a lot of fasts Mm-hmm Mm-hmm How often? I think most of the time

Almost always I'm doing a fast Like how long does a fast last for? It can be different amounts of time The last one I did was seven days Really? Wait, what does that mean? No food for seven days Liquids?

Like yeah, I have to drink liquid Yeah, or else I would die But like no calories at all? Yeah, no calories at all? Yeah, no calories. I guess I was, I was also, I was drinking bone broth while I was doing that. And then, uh, there's calories in that. There's calories in that.

So that's where the, most of the calories were coming from. Okay. So that's what a fast looks like. Yes. But do you, like, do you lose a shit done of weight? Yes. Really? Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe I should try fasting. That seems like it sounds like a direct weight of. I'm doing intermittent fasting. Yeah. Between. No, no, no. Interminton fasting.

I put on some mittens. And anything I can hold with them, I can eat. Only the thing. But if I can't eat, if it slips out of my mittens, I can't eat it. You're going to want a whole cantaloupes. Well, we're going to. This is delicious. Yeah.

I think we should maybe take it away. What do you think? Yeah. I'm going to go bring it upstairs. We'll be right back. Have we gotten to know us? Yeah, we will after this. Get to know us.

Okay, here we go. Back to the grind. All right, to the grind. So our guest today is Abdul Aziz. He loves fruit. Not eating it, but just giving it out. I'm a generous guy. Abdul, welcome to the show.

Thank you for having me. We were talking before the show. You have a Dungeons and Dragons style podcast. I do. It's called The Dice Boys. The Dice Boys. It's called, we have two now. One is called spout lore.

One is called spout lore, and the other one is called mall brats. So, mall brats is, like, kind of like if Disney's recess and gangs of New York were mushed together. Oh, my God. Tell me you're a 90s kid without telling me you're a 90s kid. And it's just like, it's, it's like a fun. These kids are, like, kind of gangs of kids committing crimes in, like, basically the fantasy version. Here's a joke. Everybody, get ready?

Here it comes. Oh, my God. So, they're, uh, mall brats. Okay. Gangs of New York fries. No, that's not bad. Oh, wow. Uh-huh.

That's really good. Yeah, I know. It's a joke that I wrote. Um, so they live in the mall, or this is just day to day? They live in the mall. The mall, okay. And they kind of, they have territory. It is basically gangs of New York, but it's set in the West Edmonton Mall.

What is your, what was your childhood mall? My childhood mall was Limeridge Mall in Hamilton. And what was the, was this a mall where you spent time or was it just like you went with mom and dad? Went with mom and dad. It was the best one. Yeah. It was, uh, it was the best one because it was like so self-contained and it was easy to navigate. What do you, what do you get as a kid?

What do you, uh, is this a place you go grab clothes? Is this just a place to go to the food court? No, it was a close. I would go get, I would go to stitches. Do you guys know stitches? As soon as it's hot, we got stitches. What was stitches? It was like clothes for teens?

Yeah, but it was also like sort of discount off-brand shit. Uh-huh. That was-huh. Bad? I definitely went to stitches. It was like for, it was like winners for boys. Because winners is not winners for boys. No, winters is for parents.

Yeah, it's for moms. That's right. Yeah. But you could get a cool poster or a clock with your favorite cartoon on it. Could you get that for? Oh, sure. Disney's recess, Gangs of New York, that kind of thing. I bought a pair of underwear that had kiss on it.

So you can buy, you can find just about anything. It's kind of like a hot topic almost. It's kind of, what would you say to somebody who's not in Canada? What is winners? Kind of like a dollar store? Oh, winners is T.J. Macs. T.J.M.X. Yeah.

Hot Topic, Graham and I did a bonus episode where we ended up going to the website for Spencer's Gifts. Spencer's Gifts, yeah. And I'd say 90% of the shirts that you can buy there are cum-related. Yeah, like, not the best outfit to wear to the wedding, but, you know, to the funeral. To my funeral. The funeral, it's fine. Yeah. Everyone invited to my funeral will be given a $30 gift card to Spencer's gift gift to buy a shirt.

And then another $60 for a dilder. Yeah, did they sell penis-related? Yes. But, yes, well, yes, penis. Yes, of course, penis, penis forward. So you would go, would you get a whole new outfit for the fall school debut? Uh, I, I, stitches. Yes.

So, and it was my, my parents didn't know anything about fashion. Okay. And neither did I. Okay. So I would just get something that I thought probably other kids would think is cool. And then on the. And did they? On the first.

an old wool cardigan. On the first day of school, I showed up and across the park, a kid yelled, those pants are from Stetschardt. Oh, no. My dad, you screwed me. Oh, man, I ran away so fast. Yeah. There was a place in Calgary called Byway, and that was like, it was also curious, but it was,

uh, biker, um, but it was the, if you, were seen wearing any article that was identical, but from there you were. What made it so, these pants, these, uh, Stitch's pants so identifiable? I guess they were like, uh, they were, so they were Echo brand pants, uh, where like the echo logo was like, across the button down the legs. Okay. Yeah. And I saw those and I was like, this is my ear. Echo. Yeah. I'm getting me. Hey, O. Yeah, I think so. Like, Mark Echo. Does it have a rhino as a logo? Or am I thinking of some other...

I think it is a writer. Yeah. You were basically wearing rave pants? Kind of. Okay. Yeah. Kind of. What are you doing?

You're Christopher. You're Christopher Wockham question. Okay. Here we go. Dave and Abdul are going to do their annual Christopher Wocken impression off. Just, before the show, Abdul kept saying things that rang 80% Christopher, no, 40% Christopher Wocken to me and then I would repeat them and they were a 10% Christopher Wacken.

So how about I give you I give you each a sentence, a different sentence. Yes. And you have to say it in the Christopher Wacken voice. Absolutely. Yours is Hello. Do you know where my boat is? Hello? Do you know where my boat is? Fuck. Not too bad. I lost it at the end.

Hello. Do you know where a boat is? Don't you know where a boat is? Okay, Dave, I've got to hurry. I've got a wedding to go to. I've... Perfect. Out of the gate. I've got to hurry.

I got a wedding or whatnot. Really turned to do a cartoon at the end of the end of it. I don't know who wins. I don't know who wins. I guess the listener. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. But good work, you guys.

Really good. You're going to give us another one? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yours is, do you have any size nine shoes left? I feel like this might be the thing that ends my comedy career.

Dramm, do you do any impressions? Also, Abdul, do you? Yeah, I do, Jack Nicholson. Hey, hey, Diana. Get out of my way, nurse, Cratchett. See, that was good. It was her name, no, Ratchet. Ratchet.

But I was just, he was being silly in my impression. Yeah, Bob Cratchett. I have Bob Cratchett's daughter. And I can do De Niro. Yeah. Hey, what do you, who might you be talking to? Get away from these gangs of New York. Dave, you can do a lot of them

Can you do Johnny Carson You do Johnny Carson? Well That's good That's good Well, Nancy Yeah

Oh yeah Now do Ronald Reagan Really big shoe And now do how to tell him And now do how to tell him The plane I don't know These are all old-timey ones

Is that fantasy island? I guess. Well, this was fun. Yeah, well, we all go there's separate ways. Do you actually have a voice that I do for the podcast? No. Okay. A voice that you can.

Well, yeah. Sure, that seems like a good path to go down. To be a game master, like to run the games, which is not what I do. I just play characters in the game. You have to be very good at voices. So our GM, Sean, is like amazing at it. He could do all the voices. And it's like, he really brings the character.

It's me a little troll. Oh, my God. It's me a big troll. Now I'll be an elf in the room. Really big troll. Elphenomics. But I just play characters. So I have two characters, one for each podcast.

I play Tacoma Doe, which is just my voice but roughed up. He sounds like this, Tacomedo. That's good. And the other character that I do is an eight-year-old, well, a little, like, pudgy, eight-year-old kid who's just based on me at eight-year-old. And his name is Fenton Beasley. Nice. He sounds like this. Hey, Fenton Beasley here.

Go, fuck yourself. What? What did I do? Yeah, you were an adult in my vicinity. That is my fault. Those are the two voices. Okay. Yeah.

So, variations on Abdul. On me, yeah. Yeah. Which I like, I think I like that as like a way to do voices. The different shades of Elton. Yes. Have you ever seen one of those headshots from like probably the 80s where it was a bunch of pictures of the like a guy like with a tennis racket and then a guy like looking like the devil? And it was like these are the ten emotions I can do.

Oh. Yeah. Tennis. Devil. Tennis. I feel kind of tennis today. Yeah, me too. Oh, boy.

With that my water? Where'd my water go? I think it might have been. And I might have taken a sip. All right. This one's mine now. Okay. I'm sorry.

Oh, well, you, I noticed that we, you didn't just bring us an edible arrangement. There's something in the else of the middle of the table in gift bags. Yes. One of the gift bags has a jolly old St. Nick. Yes. The one has grapes and leaves. And then the third I can't make out, but, oh, more grapes. These are wine-style bags.

Yeah, and I wanted to get you guys. A Harvey wine style. Oh, my God. We'll be right back. Yeah, I wanted to get you guys something That I thought you would actually enjoy Just in case you didn't like the edible arrangement We loved it

We loved it being devoured by my family right now You guys don't need these Okay Here, these are one for each of you Okay And then this is to share Okay, one for each Are these the same thing that we're going to pull up?

Yes Okay Yeah Oh, oh well that's just nice Yeah Oh, what? There's Scott It's so surprising.

That's amazing. Does, and the, does Jake Paul have anything to do with it? No, no, no. It's just dice scotch. Oh, it's just, oh, that, well, thank you. That's amazing. Yeah. What's this in here?

So those are custom dice that is part of the merch for the podcast. Oh, nice merch. Because you guys were asking, like, how the game works. And it's like, you have to play it with these, like, polyhedral dice. Yeah, I didn't know they would be so polyhedral. Oh, and look at them. They're all, like, they got, like, little strands. of green in them that are all shiny?

Yes. So when I was on last, you were asking, like, what the mechanics are, and it's like, you have to roll one of these, like, eight kinds of dice to determine whether you should see. Eight kinds of dice. You heard about this? You heard about these eight types of dice.

Those are these eight kinds of dice. Hey, have you heard about this? Hey, have you heard about these dice? Turns out. And so here's what I'm looking at. This one... This looks like the most polyhedral. This is a dodecahedron?

Yeah, 20-sided die. And these are in like a beautiful kind of jewelry-style box. I guess Do-deca would be 12. Yes. 20? Yep. And then this guy's a weird one. What's this?

That one is, I think, an eight-sided dye. But it's a weird shade. Oh, no, it's a 10. It's a 10-sided die. Yeah, 10. What's the maximum? Is it a 20 is the max? What's the maximum

theoretically? I think, I don't think there's any So all of the, any dye that is multi-sided is a platonic solid And I don't think there's an upper limit I've been put in that calm Let me tell you That's what we call being friend zoned

Hey Graham, do me a platonic solid And Wipe my butt I'm gonna wipe your butt As Robert Dina What went on down here? There's a more blotonic liquid than it's all that I love it. Thank you so much.

Yeah. Thank you guys for having me. Beautiful, beautiful gifts. And we'll just do a quick round of Dungeons and Dragons and Graham. You're being attacked by a big pterodactyl. Okay. How do you want to get away from them? How do you want to get away from them?

I want to try and negotiate with them. Okay. Roll at D20. Yeah. Okay, D20. Oh, and, oh, wait. You got a 19. That's good.

Well, that's pretty good. What do you say to the taradactyl? Hey, man, we're closer to each other than we are far away. Kiss me. Please. Please. I've been a platonic solid far too long. And I'll roll a D12 and, oh, I got Eminem and his friends.

Nice. Is that what they were called? 12 of them, eh? And one of them was called... What was his name? O.B. Trice. There was a big guy, I can't remember his name. There was a guy who just had like a human name,

like Michael Johnson or something. No, it was Lloyd Banks. Was Lloyd Banks? I think, yeah. Do you know D12? No, I have no idea. It was Eminem's like rap group. Holy shit. It was Andrew McCart.

It was Bernie. But he had a whole crew, and they kind of, like, they had a hit. They bit all the he dogs and winked at all the she dogs, and the town never knew such a hullabaloon. Was this before he ate mild out of Detroit, or was it after? Okay. Well, I think. And he's just bringing his buddies along Adam Sandler style. That's nice.

Like, you're the guys I started with everybody coming out. Yeah. But did they exist as a crew? before? Had they made music together before he got famous? It's possible. Anything's possible.

Their hit song was... Purple Pills? Oh, I was thinking of my band. Oh! I just remember Blue and Yellow and Purple Pills, but then it was edited for the radio

Purple Hills. Oh. Yeah. The pills have eyes. Now, there's another third bottle. There's a third bag. There's a third bag. for us to share.

No, we're going to share this. This one is to share. Oh, nice. This is Alizet. If you don't know what it is, it looks like barbousal. It's very blue. It is French vodka, cherry, and ginger. What's the percentage on this?

What's the proof? This is, oh, only 14.9% alcohol. That's not bad. Yeah. Should we try it? I feel like yes. Yeah. I feel like also, yes.

I feel like it does like a blue freezy. That's what I'm hoping it tastes like. I always have that vibe. I'm still drinking coffee. Can we do it maybe in the back half of the show? Oh, sure. I'm absolutely, dude. Oh, yeah, sure.

Those Irish up my coffee with this French vodka. Yeah. A blend of passion fruit, French vodka, cherry, and ginger. What a weird order of things. Yeah. Passion fruit. I'll go ahead and say it. I don't know what passion fruit tastes like.

I know the flavor that they put in things that are passion fruit. I don't think I've ever had a passion fruit. I don't think I've ever had a passion fruit. Passion fruit. My favorite N or C flavor is passion fruit. What?

Damn it! I said something weird. What's Ennercy? So, energy is... Oh, I think it. It's like a vitamin C powder.

Oh, I love that stuff. Yeah. I'm an emergency guy. Oh, yeah. I can't have that because you got sugar in it. You can't have it. Why?

Because it got sugar in it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, that's where I get most of my sugar. And you eat absolutely no sugar. No sugar. That's amazing.

I haven't had sugar in years. Yeah. Do you miss it? Would you eat a fruit? Like, would you... I can't eat a fruit. You won't eat a fruit. You won't even eat.

So you can't... Wait. You can't have passion fruit. So you... It's not just added sugar. You just can't have any sugar. I can't have any kind of sugar. You can't, or you won't?

I won't. But I did it because I think the first time I did the podcast, I was quite pre-diabetic. Oh. I'm quite pre-diabetic. No? You're pre-pre. Yeah, I'm pretty like so pre-diabetic. I mean, I might be.

diabetic. I'm not diabetic at all. I eat a ton of sugar and feel bad all the time. I might be so diabetic. I lost a foot somehow. It was in a bear trap. That's not diabetes. Another thing that is... So you can't have this.

No, I also have never drank alcohol, so I can't really... Never. I can't partake in any of the gifts I'm right. Not a drop Not a drop Whole life Not over my whole life Wow

Because I did it Because my parents Were Muslim Yeah Still are Yeah Praise be to Allah The big man upstairs

Yeah Yeah And there's no God But God And Muhammad is his prophet Some Some would say

Yeah Some would say Yeah And then on a On a snowy winter's eve Muhammad comes out of the woods And you And you drew a picture

Of this Didn't you I did It's gonna be on the stop podcast of yourself Instagram. Yeah, yeah, if you want to just go

right over there and check it out. But they, so it's like they, it's like very staunchly no alcohol is allowed in Islam. So I went through all of high school not drinking alcohol.

And then afterwards, when I stopped kind of being as Muslim, I never started drinking alcohol because I was afraid I would tell everyone all of my secrets. It does,

it does have that effect. Yeah, loose lips. Yeah. So, and that's why. I've still never had it. Yeah. Never will? I don't think so.

At this point, why? Yeah. You know, like, why even dip it tell? I've got way too many secrets. Yeah. That's why I don't want to be like, then they're like, tell me the combination. I'm like, do what? I don't have anything.

What's the last? Do you know, do you have any combinations at the moment? I got, other than your phone. Do you have any physical locks that you? No. A briefcase, a locker. I don't have. any locker I have is a key key lock yeah sure uh you have any come we have a lock that we

sometimes use if we like go swimming and need to use lockers but at the community centers mostly just we'll rent you one you know it off the top of your head no okay it's on my phone nice but i hope i don't lock my phone in the locker or your phone dies yeah yeah i also just hope my phone doesn't die in general yeah the uh When I got one in high school, it came with a phone that I held in my locker that was guarded by a lot. They printed the combo on the back of it. I just left that on year round.

What are they going to take? Take my bio book? I don't give a shit. Yeah, it's not even mine. It's on loan from school. Yeah. What am I going to learn about? What are I afraid?

They're going to learn too much about biology? I did go to school with young Frankenstein. Young Frankenstein or young Frankenstein's monster No, it was young What's his name? Victor, Vic. I knew him as Vic.

Yeah, cool. Hey, I was thinking about the movie Space Balls. There's a sequel coming up. Sure. Yeah. And how they were all, there were things that were like based on Star Wars.

Some of the things were. Some of the things it was like, did you even see Star Wars? I don't think he ever saw Star Wars. Well, he knew Yoda and yogurt Pizza the Hut Pizza the Hut

The Joan Rivers one looked a lot like C3PO Have you ever seen this film? I did I intentionally watched it But I think I saw it too Nobody forced you With those things

To keep your eyelids The clockwork orange set up Yeah no it wasn't one of those But you didn't I think I saw it too late It didn't really like it And I also hadn't seen Star Wars.

I hadn't seen Star Wars either, but I knew, I mean, Star Wars has, I guess, always been a giant part of the culture, except maybe there was like a early 90s gap where it was like, had a, uh, needed to be resurgents. Um, the, uh, um, but I was thinking about it and I was like, okay, so yogurt is Yoda, Pizza of the Hut. Where did he come up with like the, he's emperor Scroob? And later, I was like, it's Brooks backwards. I figured it out. Nice. Also, Mel Brooks plays at least three characters. And he directed, he wrote it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently the guy that's in the movie where they're combing the desert and somebody says, how's it going and he said, we ain't found shit. He's going to be in the second one as well. Oh, good. So that guy's getting a little late in life, a little screel. That's pretty nice for him. I like that. Yeah.

I don't know. I mean, geez. There's so many things I expect from it. I loved it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. People badmouth it because... Who do?

I don't know. People who like blazing saddles more. There's people, like, there was definitely a drop-off with Mel Brooks's creative output. What? And people, some people say it happened. And there, and some people say it happened later. Yeah.

I like Dracula Den loving it. I don't remember. Robin Hood, Men and Tite. Yeah, I don't think I like that. I don't think I like that movie when I was a kid. Maybe because I loved Robin Hood Menentite so much.

I don't make fun of it. Or Robin Hood, Prince of thee. Yes. Yeah. Now, one other thing is you have been doing a house exchange where you go abroad, you live in for a month.

In another country. Yeah. Yeah. And you were in London. I was in London. Your review of London. My review of London, greatest city in the world. Okay.

So cool. Yeah. It's the best, it's the coolest city to live in. It's the oldest English-speaking city in the world. Yeah. All the museums are free. How long ago did they start speaking English? I feel like a thousand years ago.

Yeah. I'd say probably more recent. The 60s, maybe? Yeah, maybe the swing in 60s. Yeah, it was the Beatles that modernized it into English. It's a... Well, who are the Normans? What were they doing?

They were French. When they invaded in 1066? Yes. How did you guys know that? It's a big date. It's like kind of what England started, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

The day they put up the sign. Or the England. Welcome to. Welcome to England. Now under French management. Get on the other side of the road. Governance. So you exchange houses with, is it like direct?

Like the person whose house you're in comes to your house? Yes. So there's two ways to do it. It's like, it's this website, home exchange.com. And you can. And you can use code Abdul, abdul. Abdul. 10% off your free home exchange.

But that's what it is. It's like you don't pay anything and you live in their house for a month and they live in your house for a month. How does the website make money? I don't. I actually dole them. No. That it does.

Oh, no, it does. Because you can, if someone's house is vacant, but they don't want to come to your house, you can pay with what's called guest points, which is basically just money. You have to buy points on the website, and then you pay them guest points. And then they can spend those guest points to go somewhere else. Spencer Gifts bucks. Yeah. You can buy a Dilda from Spencer's Gifts. What was the house like that you went to?

So we went to London twice. Okay. So we stayed in Islington, which is in North London was. for like a month and then the second time we also went for a month and we stayed in South London solo

solo okay let's just take a quick and we all do a British accent Dave go on girl power it's tea time isn't it that's really good

and you oh shit I think I'm maybe almost the Chinese I love it fuck I love the

So you had fun in Swinging, London. I love you. So my whole thing would be like, like, how is, I guess it, do, could anyone get screwed over? Can you be like, yeah, come stay at my house. And then your house sucks and you get to stay at their palatial. I mean, it can happen. but you can see pictures of their house you end up like doing a couple of

Zoom calls with them beforehand so you sort of know if they're weirdos or not and you can see the reviews also and there's also like a mutually assured destruction thing because they're going to be at your house as well yeah so it's usually pretty good so we had a little toilet incident

all right don't you dare don't you dare Um, I, yeah, I did a house exchange with that Lily Allen and David Harper. And what happened? Well, I thought he had a, uh, dojo, it turns out he had a pussy palace. Oh, shit. Yeah. Um, she's really, she really took it to the limit with, uh, making fun of him with an album.

It's, it should be, that should be a musical. Because, you know, it's got the storylines there and they were, they were, what were these people? No, I've never heard of this. Lily Allen. singer from Britain. Oh, okay. Was married to, do you ever see

Stranger Things? Yes. The sheriff. Oh, right. Yeah. Okay, yep. So they split, and it's very acrimonious,

and she, like, wrote a whole album about it. Whoa. About how Stranger Things sucks. Yeah. It was good in the first season. She was, yeah,

most of the albums about how she misses Barb from season one. And then, uh, They had, like, kind of an arrangement, an open thing, and he broke the rules. He broke the rules. He had his own apartment somewhere that was used for, and I think that was something she did not know about.

That sucks. It was a pussy palace, and she thought it was a dojo. Is that the lyrics of the song? Okay. But, you know, hey, babe, I'm going to just buy a dojo on the other side of town. Don't come over. You're never allowed to see it. I'll show you photos.

I just downloads photos of Dojo I just got paid for season four of Stranger Things I'm gonna go to the Dojo Exchange But it was a real

You know It was a real warning To any man that's dating a singer Or any You could write a movie About your breakup You could do all sorts of things And broadcast it out there

So just You know what? Just be cool, man Stop being a shithead You know what I mean? No deal Up and up It was in for me.

I'm going to be a shithead forever. Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, my God. Guys. Well, have we gotten to know us yet? Do we do we do this? Weird. Here's what's going on.

So I have these two dogs. Yeah. I've got a little dog named Monster and a bigger dog named Irma. Yeah. And Monster is, they're both. Maniacs. Yeah, they are both maniacs. But Monster, like, they love to stare out the window and bark at everyone who goes by.

Yeah. But Monster also has a love of fetching. Okay. He loves the, to, like, we have some of these rubber balls, and he just loves them, and we have to, like, put them away, and he'll just, he knows where we put them and he'll just stand next to them. So he's a little detective. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And Abby has seen, well, I guess we've both seen these videos. of these machines that you can put a ball in and then the machine throws the ball. Oh, yeah. This is perfect. This is the future we were promised. It is that there would be robots, walking dogs,

and playing with dogs so we just can catch them on the downside where they're already tired. Yeah. You just pet them. And there's so many videos, like sometimes people will put a camera in the machine and so the dogs are like eyes are bugging out, waiting for the ball to get thrown.

And then they, chase it and but so Abby got one of these and it is the idea is that Is this kind of like a batting cage

for a dog? It's kind of a batting cage or like I was telling my daughter I was like oh we should play tennis we could get that ball machine and she was like oh like the one the dog has

we should do that as humans I guess so You're crazy eyes Every time I hide the tennis racket Dad goes He knows where we hit it He can remember somehow But the

It's because of my My snout I'm so good at sniffing stuff So I got So we got this thing And And it, we, you know, we showed it to him. We threw the ball in.

He immediately loved it. And this is in your backyard? No, this is in the living room. Oh, in the living room. It's not like, only for inside or? I don't know. You could bring it to the park, maybe? It starts in the living room and throws it to the kitchen.

Nice. Nice. And then he slides on the floor and knocks chairs out of the way. There's only monster cares about it. Irma doesn't fetch. Fair. And. I'm more team Irma, you know?

No fetching. Yeah. That shit. Yeah. And so, but the bad side is he hasn't figured out he can do it himself. Oh. He needs one of us to take those gross ball out of his mouth and put it into the machine. And show him, now you go.

Well, yeah, like, he'll never get it. Oh, you know. Okay. He'll never understand it. His brain is the size of a peanut. It's made a chore for you. It's a chore. It's, that part.

it is fine. Yeah. But it is, yeah, it's not ideal. Like, the ideal thing would be that robot

world of, you know, he puts it in, he chases it, he picks it up, he goes, puts it in, and chases it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get home from a 12-hour shift and he's exhausted. At the podcast mine. Yep.

Guys, I'm putting on the air conditions. Oh, yeah, got a little sweaty. I think it's because we're just excited about this. Ali's.

Al-Aze. Al-Zezze. Al-Dizier. Al-Dizier. You will come over drink some blue liquid with me. There was a woman last night at the show sitting in the front road and she was from Paris.

And I was just asking her about what you thought of Vancouver. She was just like, it's fine. And I was like, you're from Paris. She's like, yeah, it's the best city in the world. I was like, well, you just schooled me. It kind of, that's the thing. Like, I, going to these other cities, because we went to, we've gone to London now. We went to Montreal.

Rimmel, get the London look. Nice. Yeah. We went to a small town in the English countryside called Brockware, which is amazing. Okay. And we went to Oxford. And there's like so much, so much, like, culture in these places because they are, like, all, like, minimum a thousand years old.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Except for Montreal, which is, I think, like, 400. Still. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Vancouver is what?

40? I mean, the founding? Yeah. It is 1886. 1886. Mm-hmm. Like, Gassie Jack, then he... I mean, it also...

It also might... There were people here before that. Yes, not that is correct. Cassie Jack didn't invent fake. Yeah. So he's playing with a ball. He's having a time of his life. Yeah, and it's, um, the, uh, the, uh, the little claws on the ground is, like that.

Uh, well, no, it's a scramble, a constant scramble. Ah, ha, I'm going to hit the wall. He hits the wall all the time. At least sometimes he gets the couch and that soft. Mm-hmm. Um, but, uh, yeah, we're not there yet. We're hoping to get to the point where he can do it himself. Do you, uh, like you've ever seen the videos where the dog has all the,

the buttons to press? Yeah. Do you think that's real? Or do you think the dog just knows treat from this combo of things? Yeah, I think that's, I think that's the connection in their brains. Right. Yeah. So they're not actually thinking I'm hungry, press the button that says I'm hungry.

Have you seen the ones that are like, you know, like so many buttons and they'll go, sad? Oh, why are you sad? Economy. It's always going for that economy, but. How do you fix the economy? Different progressive taxation system. This dog's got some good idea. So Monster's got a new hobby.

Monsters got a brand new bag. And Irma's just, she'd chill. She doesn't care about any of this. She's never chill, but yeah, she's fine. Yeah. What's Hermes thing? Irma's thing is she just wants to lick your face and then she wants to enter your skin.

She wants to She wants to Ed Gein, you say a little bit She wants to live Inside your body Oh, like an alien From alien Yeah, exactly

She's like an alien from alien Or like species from species Is she like Bernie from Burner? She's sort of like Bernie from Sesame Street From Bernie and Earth We get up Bernie and Art

That go do it AI, put it together I want to see it Um, the, uh, uh, species was, Natasha Henskridge. It was Canadian, I was like? She's Canadian. Yeah. It was, have you seen?

No, I haven't. Uh, they have these aliens that their faces look like a butt because it's like, it's down the middle and then, like, juicy on either side. I haven't seen it either. Well, that description didn't wet your appetite. I guess that's sort of what Natasha Hensridge looks like. A face looks like a butt. Is she French-Canadian?

I don't know. Hensstridge. Henshridge. I'd say no. Okay. Hensrish sounds like a name of somebody that was in your class in grade six. A last name? Yeah.

Ryan Hensstridge. Yeah. Oh, my God. I heard Ryan Henshridge felt up a girl. He drank Al-Lesaida part of the bathtub. Ryan Henswitch called you out for your stitches pen. I'm fucking henstrap. Anyway, not much is going on with me.

The dog is constantly scrambling up around upstairs. But I give specific instructions to put the machine away while we're recording. That's good. But he is just like, from the moment he wakes up, he's like, let's do it. Can he be distracted by food or is he just like on a mission? They're not really food motivated, my dogs, which makes training them very hard. Yeah. Yeah.

What do they respond to? Dave, I swear to God, if you do another fucking walking thing, I'm going to stop talking. Yeah, these dogs, they are, they're, because when you're, when you're going around, you, uh, you find the dogs are, uh, laying by themselves. That's a really good walk. Thank you, you guys. That was awesome. Thank you, thank you. It's like being in the room with it.

Kevin Pollock. Yeah. I feel like I'm in a fat boy slim music video. Where he famously doesn't talk. Oh, yeah, I love that video. It's so cool. Flying around. That's when music videos were out.

There's Zenith. It was guys that all went on to have movie directing careers. And now I don't know. I don't know if music videos, I don't watch. I don't know who's making them. I don't know who's. Rascal. Flats.

Is Rascal Flats directing a bunch now? There used to be like a pipeline, like where the music video, if it was popular, you would get a lot of play on like MTV, right? Yeah. But now there isn't the same thing. Yeah. Apparently YouTube is the biggest music streaming site, bigger than any, like, Spotify or... I believe that. But I don't know that the popularity of, like, I don't know if people, I don't know what the visual aspect is.

No. Do you know, I don't know if I told the story on the podcast before, but like how YouTube got created, why it got created? As a joke? It was during the famous, infamous halftime show with Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson. Oh. With the wardrobe malfunction, he was like, I can't see it.

It's not, like, I don't know where I can find it. It's not anywhere. It's not on TV. I don't know. So they were like, there should be a site that people upload these things so that you can see them wherever. Right. YouTube was born.

Thank you, Justin Timberlick or Janet Jackson? Who do we think for that? The costume design. That wasn't an accident. I don't know what it was. She had that pasty on. Like she was planning on it. Like they were planning on that.

He threw her under the butt. He really did. But he even said, I'm going to have you naked by the end of this song. That's true. Yeah, he warned the audience. That's a weird song to sing at the Super Bowl. because, like, aren't they like, oh, it has to be squeaky clean for the Super Bowl? No, that's, after that it had to be squeaky.

Oh, they were like, okay. We're not inviting. Like, after that, they literally had, like, Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty. Like, they only get old people. Burton Ernie. Yeah. No, I won't back down. That's good.

That was me trying to do Bert Nourney doing. Which one? I have different voices. I don't know. I don't know, Dave. I would say, Ernie's the easier one to do. Let's hear it. Hey, Bert.

That's pretty good. That's good. That was really good, yeah. That's awesome. No, Ernie, how does he sound? That's Ernie. He's mad all the time. Ernie.

He kind of sounds like, I guess, sort of an eight-year-old Abdulaziz. Hey, Ventid Beasley here. Were you stuffed up as an eight-year-old? Yeah, I was really stuffed up. up. I had polyps. Oh, no. Where? In my nose.

Oh, okay. And they, they, so that's why I, I sounded like a cartoon character, the entirety of my childhood. What, what happened to them? I think they just, like, went away that, when I... They did a housing exchange. Oh, yeah, they did a home exchange with another kid's nose. Some British kid is really bad right now. I go, I'll, I can't taste the chips.

Yeah. I got proper fucked. To all our English list We're just having fun We're just to You know Also to Christopher Wock and we're just having fun We're just having fun

Whoa, Dracula walking Yeah yeah yeah I did turn into a little Dracula I want to suck your blood What's going on with you So So In our neighborhood

there's a movie theater and it's the park the park theater and it went out of business but almost as soon as it went out of business the didn't go into business it closed down it got closed down and uh uh the woman karene lee who runs the rio is uh taking it over oh wow so it's going to be it's still a movie theater it's not going to be demoed or whatever that's awesome yeah so that was like within 24 hours it's really awesome it is really awesome yeah so i was walking by the park theater at, like, night, my wife, Sally and I, and I saw the door of it, and it looked weird. It looked like it was a jar, and I was like, huh, it seems like a weird time of day.

When is a door, not a door? When is a raven out like a writing disc? Never more. Why do we walk on parkways and drive? Wait, park on walkway. God damn it. Why do we impersonate walk-ins and walk-on impersonators? So walking by, it was like, that kind of doesn't, it just didn't look right.

So I went and just opened it and it was completely dark in there. So there's no, like I was just a Phantom of the Opera in there? I'll get to it. But I open it and it was completely dark in there. So I just kind of yelled hello a couple times. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello, hello. Somebody in there. Well, I'm going to come in. Come in. Come in. So he yelled hello a few times, and then the bolt was out, so he couldn't just close it. It was stuck.

He needed a key. He needed a key in order to turn it. So then I texted the Kareen. You know her. I know her for many years of the real and said, your doors open of the theater. And she's like, oh, my God. I'll be there in 10 minutes.

Very neighborly of you. Well, I feel like I didn't want somebody to go in there and set up camp. Yeah. Steal all the seats. But build another theater across the street. I'd be fine with that. You can be competing theaters? I'm fine with it.

Competition is good. Yeah. And so I called her and then she came and she was like, do you guys mind coming in with me? We didn't know if somebody was in there stealing things. Yeah. And you guys are great at self-defense. Yeah. Because you have that dojo across town.

That's right. As far as I've been telling everybody, yes. But I, so we went in, but it was like, she had to go to the far end of the theater to turn on the lights and the lobby. It was the most, I'm in a horror movie. Yeah. What am I doing? Yeah, exactly. We're in there with our phones.

And, I mean, everything is gone in there except the seats and all the fire extinguishers. Okay. Oh, so they had been cleaned out. Yeah, yeah. Oh, shit. No, no, no, no, no. By the previous owner. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good. Sineplex took the... Took the projector. They took the popcorn machine. Yep, they took it... Like, they're still the counter, but yeah, everything's gone. Yeah. There really isn't much else.

Like, is there a screen still, or did it? There's a screen, yeah, still got the screen. Yeah. But the projector's the big one. Yeah. So we went over the whole building looking to see if anybody was in there. And it was so scary. And then at one point she went off.

And she's like, I'm going to turn on the light. She turned it on. It was like, bling, bling, blink, blink, blink, blink. Just like it would be. And then you hear clink, clink, cling, clink come out to play. So we walked all around it, inspected every room, every corner. Nobody in there. It was somebody who had been locking up the doors and just, like, push them the wrong way.

And they landed the wrong way. Oh, okay. But there's the one thing that I thought was kind of neat is, you know, the marquee letters? Yeah. They're pretty big. Oh, cool. Like they're like 8 by 10 kind of They're bigger than your thing

They're like a piece of paper Yeah, it's like a pizza Yeah It's like an 8 by 10 pizza Yeah But anyways The park's fine everybody Oh, you're a hero

I guess I'm kind of The greatest hero of all time You're the hero that we need That's right But you don't deserve The Yeah Did she say when it's opening?

She didn't say when it's open They've got to get a projector first. So that's a job one. Can they just use the one? Like an overhead projector from a high school? With the transparency. Yeah. With the role of transparency.

All right. So then what happens next in the Batman movie is just drive? I had a college professor who used them. Oh, yeah. And that's how old I am. Want to feel old? I am quite old. Tell me you're a Gen Xer

Without telling me you're a Gen Xer. I'm sort of on the cusp. Yeah. Yeah, we're cuspiers. You're millennial. I'm millennial. Yeah. But I had a professor who was just like kind of a sloppy guy.

His shirt was always kind of untucked. Like he'd wore a suit, but like. He maybe had 10 years, so he didn't have to really. Yeah. His like collar was always like ruffled. He just lost all of his money in the stock market. And he was kind of, um, Like, yeah, he was kind of gross

That sounds kind of gross And he, one time A big like piece of saliva came out of his mouth And landed on the overhead projector And he didn't notice And it was there the whole stuff You saw it on the wall Oh man

But yeah The park theater is still there It's gonna be shown movies Whenever they get the thing that makes movies possible And they need the popcorn machine Yeah, they really, she said that they didn't have to do that. They just did it. Like, they could have just left all that stuff.

It meant nothing to them. Yeah. But they decided to clean the place out. Are they going to serve alcohol there like they do at the real? I don't know. But I hope so, because it's, oh, boy, oh, boy. I'm looking for cheap placing down again. I guess it won't be cheap.

But I'm really, you live pretty close. You could probably just get drunk at home and run over. I'm just trying to find somewhere to unload a bunch of Alice there. that I bulk ordered from France Without even tasting Can you believe it? Can you believe what I did? See, I was, I thought it was blue icy syrup.

It does look like icy syrup. I can't wait to try it. Well, should we move on to overheard slash trying the L-Aid? Yeah, yeah. Getting blitz. Hello? Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. No, I'm sorry, no sales calls.

Goodbye. It's a multi-award-winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long. I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother get her shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones. I don't want to have to carry you home again, do I? Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast... Mother, you're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is a musical theatre, not a

Boregian Bordello. Simply go to maximum fun.org. I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak. Mother! Mother, not that hat! Have you been looking for a new podcast all about nerdy pop culture? Well, I have just the thing for you. Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries.

Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries is a weekly pop culture history podcast hosted by me, host Alston. And me, host Brenda. We've already tackled mysteries such as what happened to the puppets from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, a Snoopy Mexican, And why do people hate Barney so much? From theme parks to cartoons to 80s, 90s, and 2000s nostalgia, we tackle it all. Check us out every Tuesday on maximum fun.org and wherever you get podcasts.

What's going on? What happened? Before we do that, it's time. for my favorite segment on the show. Drinking Al-Azee. Do the theme song. Two, three, four. Hey, we're drinking Al-Aisei. It's almost every day, but it's not.

Perfect. Welcome to Al-Aid. That was really good. From now on, we're going to drink an Al-Azee every episode. Now, before we get into this, I will fund that, by the way. You were saying something about last time you were on, maybe? Yes, last time I was on,

I have to give you guys props because you guys like improvised this like Jason versus Statho or Statham versus Statham like RPG idea that then after I left I worked with like our GM Sean and we turned it into like a one page role playing game that like fully just works and what we can definitely say about this is we definitely remember but it's the premise is basically what you guys did where you pick a Statham from a Statham movie everyone picks like a different one chef chelios so then you're transporter those are the only two I know Oh, Hobbs or Shaw The beekeeper

Yeah The mechanic The mechanic, yeah And your power is related To whatever the movie is So you can control bees If you're the beekeeper It's basically whatever you can justify

If you're the mechanic You can transport Cargo Yeah So now we've But also, you told us before the show that last time you were on you gave out your phone number. Yeah, 2.50588-8798. Yeah, that's the number here listed on your 250-88-8798.

Yeah, that's on your... Is my credit card number on there, too? From edible arrangements. Yeah, read it out. 4502-3189. Zip-zap, Zui. Now this, once you open it, Got to be refrigerated.

Okay, so this is Alizet. It's bright blue. Well, you know what? We haven't photographed it. And this is also Alizet. It's called Blue Passion. So it's a particular Alizzee. Now, this is Blue Passion Alizet.

Have you taken a whiff of it? No. It's very, oh my God, it's so blue. Sweet. Oh, yeah. It is, now I have brought these two glasses. One is yellow, one is red. I'm wondering if the glasses will, like,

if this will look green. Yeah. Maybe this will turn purple. Is that enough? Sure. It's kind of green. Oh yeah, yours is totally green. Yours is brown.

Nice, nice, nice. Well, let's take a little pick of these for the gram. You guys are so good about your socials. We don't take enough pictures. We forget every other week. All right. To Abdul. To Abdul.

Duel. Here you go. Thank you. And he's drinking my water. Yeah. Very sweet. That is what, like, this would be what, like a 15 year old. Yes.

Child. I was going to say girl, but anyone would go nuts on this. What is it, though? Like, what is the, is it? I don't know what passion fruit is. So, like, maybe it's passion fruit. Maybe it's passion fruit. But I also, while I was upstairs getting these glasses, I did have another chocolate

of strawberry. I'm mostly tasting that. It was next to the sour puss. Oh, sure. I think it's in the same category. Alcohol for teens. Yeah.

I'll. Yeah. So, yeah, like, if you see... You just go into debt coming on our show. You got a loan from the cover. You got a grant to... I do have a grant for gifts on podcasts.

Yeah. Oh, good. Well, congratulations. First and foremost. Now, Abdul, the segment is called Overheard. Graham, tell us about it. Let me tell you. We love to hear.

Thank you. Yeah. You're welcome. Thank you. And let's get ripped. I mean, it doesn't feel like you could. It feels like I already have a hangover. We hear things.

You hear things. We want to hear what things you've heard. And we always like to start with the guest. Abdul, do you haven't overheard? I hear things. Now, that is. Stephen Hawking? Go on, Abdul.

It was actually Bonzai Buddy. My overheard... Who's Bonzai Buddy? Bonzai Buddy was a... It was like a voice to... or text to speech. Oh, okay. Bot that existed in like the late 90s, early 2000s.

Wow, okay. And you had downloaded it onto your computer and then just type text into it And a little purple gorilla would just speak it in a robot voice. And also, and I miss the late 90s computer. I know. It's so fun.

And it would also give your parents computer just shitloads of virus. But my overheard. Yeah. It is courtesy of this. This happened when I was, my wife was pregnant. Hey, congratulations. Yeah.

Thank you. It was a few years ago. Oh. And we went to, like, our doctor for, like, one of the regular checkups, but she was out of town. So she had, like, a locum. Like, now you use that word all the time, right? Yeah. It's a locum pocum.

Yeah. From the movie with Bet Midler in it. Sure, yeah. Locum, if you got them. But it was like, it's just like a doctor that's subbing in for her. Okay. And he was, he was. Oh, male locom.

He was, it was a, it was a man and it was a boy. I walked it. It looked like he was an 18 year old Yugoslavian boy. Uh-huh. He had Al-Saysay just on the. Yeah. That's the fireball whiskey. Who are you trying to get crazy with?

I say, don't you know I'm locum? Nice. And he did the checkup and then we asked him so many questions and he had, no answers for us. Oh, okay. And then, but he did at the end of the appointment go while he was like listening to the stomach with the stethoscope go, in my country, we use big cone. Oh my God.

And I was just like, can we get like a different guy maybe? Yeah. Like a cone like a director in the 30s with you? Yeah. Or like what are those ear, those listening ones? Like what is that called? I don't remember. But what is that?

Did you ask what Cohn meant? No, I was really concerned. An ear trumpet is what that. Oh, yeah. Was it an ear trumpet? Yeah, it was that. It was the big director's coat. And I was like, yeah, but is the baby going to flip?

Because Coulot was breached at the time. And I was like, that was the thing I was worried about. It doesn't sound like he's flipping at the moment. But I can't tell Because I don't have a big cone Right In my country The only flipping is

Nadia Gormonich Yeah So Boy, this Alize hits hard It does, eh? It's, uh, you know, it's like you say,

it's kind of, it's going to be an instant hangover By 5 p.m. I'm going to be wrecked. Uh-huh. Um, well, that's great. That's fantastic. And I haven't overheard as well.

And I'm going to go on. now I went to So I don't go to McDonald's often But when I do It's because they have a weird meal And the last one you went to I think was

The Shanaeitaine meal Ooh I still have these commemorative A boots key chain right there And But I saw that Right now they have the

Triple Pickle Chicken McChrisp Oh yeah So Well you're gonna have to tell me what it is Well, I mean, you can imagine it. It's a McChicken with...

It's not a Mick Chicken. It's their bigger chicken patty. The McChrysp, apparently. Chicken McRisp. And it is, well, I actually didn't know either. But I just saw an ad for it. Sorry, chicken pickle McChrispy. Okay.

And it's got a lot of pickles on it. And it's got these pickle potato chips. on it. And what else can you tell me about it? A crispy chicken patty. Dreaded lettuce, soft potato bun, crispy dill pickle seasoned cucumbers

are classic pickles and a generous spread of all new creamy dill pickle sauce. Okay. Jesus. What's your feeling on pickles in general? Do you love them? I like them. Yeah, I like them too.

I love them. You love them? They're fun to eat, you know, they're weird. Yeah, they're weird. I like that about them. Where do they fit in your diet? They, I can eat them just on their own because it's just cucumber, which is part of my diet. And then it's salt.

It's salt water. Yeah. Delicious. Delicious. Yeah. What makes them sour? I think it's the salt. It's the brine, isn't it?

But where does the brine come from? Where is salt water? The ocean? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's sour. sour ocean of ours. Is that a different thing when,

is that vinegar? I think it's got to be like vinegar and salt, right? I haven't pickled that. I've pickled onions. Oh, yeah. What was the mixture? Yeah. Maple syrup, salt.

Yeah. Wow. And, uh, water. How was it? Sounds good. Good. They pickle real fast. You don't have to, you know, you pickle them in a day.

Did you do tiny onions or? No. Okay. Asked and answered. No, I didn't. No, no. Tiny onions. Oh, my God. If you think that's annoying, then you're annoyed.

No, they were just big red onions, chop them real small. Oh, nice. That's what, that kind of. Not like pickled little. Little guys that you get at a bar. Yeah, and I know what you're thinking. Um, but, uh, yeah, so anyway, I got this pickle sandwich. Actually, Abby's parents are here and I told them, uh, hey, I'm going to get some McDonald's.

And they're like, oh, what are you getting? I'm going to get the pickle McChrisby. And Abby's mom was like, I'm going to get that too. And I was like, no, it's a joke thing that I'm getting. And I got it and it was, um, you know what? Really disappointing. Not pickly enough. Because that's like, that's the thing they're pushing.

Yeah, I want it to be, like, if it was too pickly, they could be like, what do you expect? And they're, the McDonald's pickles aren't, they're not, they're a little round. They're little round chips. Yeah. And then there's also two other pickly things. But it was just not, it was just kind of a letdown. But anyway, my overheard is that I was at McDonald. And I ordered, uh, my food.

And there was a guy waiting there. He thought he was going to get my food. He was a door dash driver And he was like, is that mine? And they're like, no, that's this guy's And he said, ah, just delivering for door trash. Ha, ha, ha. You know, you got to joke about it.

Yeah, this is going to ruin you. Yeah, you got to joke about being a member of the precariet class. Go on? It's like a new kind of class of society where it's like your social status and standing is as precarious as possible. Oh, sure. Yeah. Proletariat, precarious.

Hmm. Love it. Yeah. Yeah, no, it does, I don't know how they do it. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't seem worth it.

But it seems like, it seems like a silly thing that got out of hand. You know what I mean? Like, it's somebody said, like, why do we do like a pickle, huge pickle burger? Yeah. You know? Don't they, wasn't there in Japan?

It was just pickles? I think we're talking about two separate things. What are you talking about? I'm talking about DoorDash drivers. I'm talking about Triple Pickle McChrysby. I was talking about both things. I was engaging in your separate conversations. It's true.

That's true. This hell is, hey, man. It is fucking me up. Yeah, what is this? 14%? Ooh, boy. Do you haven't overheard? I do.

And it was, I went and saw a movie yesterday afternoon. I went and saw a movie. I went and saw a movie called The Deer Hunter, and I was in it. He's like a French guy in that. Yeah. He's sort of his character from that as the Continental. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My overheard is I went saw a movie yesterday afternoon.

It's an indie documentary called The Librarians. And it's, I like going to a movie in the middle of day because it feels like playing hooky. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's just sweeter than going at the end of the year.

I feel like Don Draper. Yeah, that's true. But I... Was it packed? It was... Cheek to jail. It was much the crowd that you would suspect would be at a movie about librarians.

Did you shush anyone? I did. Because they were old ladies that just started talking. Really? Yeah. They started having a conversation. Because it was one person who was... spring and then a third person jumped in.

I was like, no, no, no, like I'm turning around, no, no, no. You shushed them and you said, look at me. I'm the librarian now. But the lady behind us said, wow, I haven't been to a movie in 15 years. And her friend just said, you're in for a treat. How do you not see a movie for 15 years? Yeah. That's insanity.

And this is the one you see? Have you only seen one movie? Every 15 years. I just got out of the hospital yesterday. Yeah. I got hit on the head with a big projector reel. 15 years ago. I was working as a projectionist at an old-time movie theme.

You're in for a treat. Anyways. I love going to movies. Yeah, me too. You guys are going to see Wicked 2? Yep. Oh. Have you seen the Wicked franchise?

I haven't seen any of them. The first one was really good. Yeah? Yeah. Catchy songs. But I was watching it in the theater in the last 20 minutes. I was like, they're not going to resolve all this stuff. There's going to be a whole other chapter here.

But that was known. Yeah. But there's some movies where it's like, oh, this, I wasn't told this was part of a thing. That was the Fast and Furious, the last one I watched. Oh, yeah. And it bombed, so they're not going to make a sequel. What? So that ending just literally like a car jumping in the air, like Fast and the Furious, we'll return.

Holy shit. Yeah. That's crazy. I mean, maybe Vin Diesel get the cash together and do like... I feel like... He's Groot. He also, like, self-funded, like, his first few movies, which were all, like, based on D&D campaigns that he had done.

Really? Boiler Room was? No, it was the one where he had the weird eyes? I know. Okay. It's black? Is that what I was? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then all, everything within that saga. Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over. You want to send one in? You can send it into SB1. at maximum fun.org. This first one comes from Allison from Somerville, Maine. Allison? Can you change it to Alize?

Would you for us? Yeah. This is one person to another in the grocery store. Did I ever tell you I was considering changing my name to Spider until I met you and Spider? And I couldn't do it because they were too cool. That's the red weird. Yeah. Until I met you and Spider.

Hmm. I read it differently when I put this in the email. Well, you know what, Allison? Where you're out of the club. Yeah. I would consider changing my name to Alizei. Yeah. Until I met you and Spider.

Well, if you could change your name to a cool, like, 80s tough guy. Mr. D. Yeah. No, I mean, like, in terms of spider, snake, scorpion. Oh, okay. The thing that I thought was Rex Flexman. Rex Flexman, that's good. Attorney at large.

not at law Yeah he's on the run He's huge too He's a body filter attorney That is on the run Now that's your show Yeah That's your show right there

Yeah There's a cameo from the $6 million Man Oh shit Now you know You don't have never seen that show No but I saw Lee Majors In the

Zach Alfenakis Snowboarding movie Yeah Right We all saw though It was so good Zach's pretty good at it He's really funny

He can't not be funny He's so funny I it was like I think that movie Maybe start snowboarding And also start comedy Did you actually start snowboarding? Wow

Yeah Out cold I believe Yeah Are you good at snowboarding I'm pretty good at it Nice Yeah There's another facet of you

I did not know You do tricks There I can do a few tricks There was like two years Where I would drive up to Tromba from Hamilton which is like a 10-hour drive every weekend to go snowboarding. And then would that turn into a night boarding because it takes a long to get there?

I would leave Saturday night and get there Sunday morning and then ski all day. And then I would hang out with the Carlton Ski Institute Award Club afterwards at this bar called Caribou that had $2 beers. And it was a disaster. You didn't drink. I didn't drink. So I just saw everything. Just so people like quickly just to become a. Absolutely destroyed

After a day of snowboarding Nonstop Just drinking $2 beer This text will come from Sam from Victoria My 10-year-old was getting over being sick And was just getting her voice back But it was kind of rough and gravely She said, I love when my voice is like this

It sounds like I have red hair I'm a Batman's a redhead. Batman's a redhead. Swear to me. Your wife, red hair? Yep. She's... She talked like that?

Yep. Hey, honey. One day I hope to meet this lady. Oh, she could come over and pick me up any time. Oh, you have enough Al-Zay. She may need you. Me too. This last one is from Allie in Calgary.

Allie Z. At a Z. I was teaching a grade 8 math class about the order of operations. Okay. Bed mass. Yeah. What are the operations? Brackets.

Exponents. Exponents. Division multiplication, addition subtraction. Nice. And sometimes why? At the end of the day, I found a crumpled up piece of paper on the floor with this equation written on it. It's a really good equation. It's something where they, he's a zimsy squared.

It is, the equation is, Jesse plus ugly, minus basketball, each will touch himself at night. We got to get to. this guy of basketball. We gotta get that guy of the podcast who ever wrote that. Oh, that kid rules. Yeah.

He's like a beautiful mind meets like... Goodwill hunting. It's the coolest guy I've ever met. That's, uh, I just love. That would be great if Goodwill hunting, he just wrote

something like... Dylan Scarsguard plus weiner equals slippery. Somebody fucked up the question that we had written most of it. God damn it. This was years of work, you asshole.

Ten minute movie Yeah It's not a guy who's just dumb He just drives away Boston Red Sox plus beer Equals Good Sunday Do you like apples Very much

The end In addition Overhears that are written And we also accept your phone calls If you want to call us Hey that's your prerogative Yeah Or send us a voice memo

So do it like this. Record your voice memo on your phone and then send it to SPY at maximum fun.org or leave a voicemail at 1.844-779-631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1 like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham. And possible guest, this is Tom in Toronto. Not long ago, I was sitting on a stoop in...

Nice. That's shift. I forgot where I was. oh god I just lost me Tray to pot I looked at my cat god damn it

I was sitting on a stoop on Bloor Street in Toronto with the friends and we just heard just a snippet of people talking when they walked by

and it was two guys and one said the other well we're smoking crack and then the other said well yeah it's the anniversary and the guy starting

clapping and that was that These were two, like, very well-puted together guys. So that's it. Oh, God. Sorry. Off I go. Feel free to just end your call at the punch line.

Yeah, you just won't crack for the anniversary. Sure. The anniversary of Guy Fawkes Day. It's Guy Fawkes, and I smoke. You might try crack. There's no sugar in it. Yeah, it's keto. Oh, it's keto.

Yep. Shit. It's not booze. You're going to have it? I can have it. It won't tell me, it make me reveal all of my secrets. It's like,

I always like the hearing about the very religious workarounds on these things. Oh, yeah. Like with the crack thing, I imagine they would get somebody who's not religious to smoke it and just blow it into the air. Oh, sure. Yeah. Well,

we're not smoking. We're just breathing in the air. If you have the Pope smoke it and breathe it into your mouth, it's consecrated. Sure. It counts as the breath of Christ. What is that called when people, Like, breathe, is it weed smoke in other people's mouths, each other's mouths?

Yeah, I think so. What's that called? Hot. That's called hot. Yeah, what is it called? What do I Google? Mouthing. What?

No, never mind. Oh, I looked up something else. A French inhale. That's where the smoke goes out and then you breathe it back in. You breathe it out your mouth and into your mouth. into your nose. Whoa, holy shit. Also known as an Irish

waterfall. It's because you'd have to do circular breathe that. You'd have to breathe in and out of the city. Yeah, they do it. You have to do a didgeridoo. I can't. You know what I say?

Didgerie don't. Exhale. Exhale smoke into other mouth. You're fighting. Shotgunning. Oh, really? The art of shotgunning.

Best Practices. It's a work-saf PC site that you're looking at. But shotguning already has a couple different, right? Different meanings. Well, the shotgunning weed smoke. The Ultimate High, this is from hippie stoners.com. The ultimate high. These are all, this is cool.

Toke like a pro. How to inhale weed properly. How to inhale weed properly. Best methods and common mistakes. This is from Zamnesia. Tom. Toke like a pro. How to inhale weed properly?

How do inhale weed like a pro? Eight tips to toke it right. Understanding shotgun smoking. A guide to shotgunting weed. Okay, guys. Okay, the hippiepipe.com. And your next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham.

This is Spencer from Toronto. I was just picking up my daughter from gymnastics class. and there was a boy who's maybe about what was he like six or seven and his grandmother was picking him up and he was telling his grandmother oh hey me and my friends today at school we were playing boot fight and the grandmother said what is that and the boy said that he just like takes his boots off

and they throw them in each other's faces and the grandmother said she didn't believe that and then he started talking about six seven anyway off I go three thousand too Dad? If you didn't catch that at the end. Sorry, talking about six, seven.

Anyway, off I go. We have some, too. No one. No one. Dad. You're being weird. Yeah, we recommend actually not sending us over hers in front of your church. children it's known to be

studies have shown it's pretty damaging. Yeah and also like you know wait till they're a little bit older to explain podcasts to them right to have the talk. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just three guys with beards in a room. Yeah. Yeah. Well, talk concluded. And it

destroyed U.S. politics? Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you do you know, okay. Do you know how old? This might be well known. Do you know how old Theo Vaughn's dad was? Oh, I think he was like a super old dude, right?

So Theo Vaughn is your age and my age, Graham. His dad, if he was, dad was alive today, would be 113 years old. Whoa, strong come. So mathematically, he was in a 70? Mathematically, he would have been 68. 68. He'd pull in in numbers like an Al Pacino or Robert De Niro age. Hey, huh, I got a, I got a wife.

You know, who else had children at an old age is Mick Jagger. Is he in the room with us right now? Down in the, nymph. Also, I think Larry King. Poughkeepsie, you're on the end. And I believe maybe Tony Randall. Larry, right. Final phone call.

Dave, Graham, guest. This is Kitten, Ohio, calling in with an overheard, which I would like to preface with the fact that I kind of had deja vu when I heard it, as though someone else may have called in with a very similar overheard, but I swear I heard this one with my own ears. I was at a minorly hockey game last night, and a child behind me was about four. I didn't hear any of what led into her saying this, but I just heard her very, uh, very, uh, exasperatedly say sharing is just not one of my strengths doodles

oh man I love it when kids are overly candid about their own shortcomings I just don't see sharing happening for me you know what I hate it

and you may see this equation I wrote earlier yeah well thanks everyone for sending in those overhears thanks Kit Kit that's friend of the show Kit who was on our bonus

episode about going on Jeopardy. Departy. Ooh. We're culture of vultures over here. Yeah. Now that brings us to the end of the podcast. Abdul, where can people find out about you? The last season of Spout lore, the new season of... Edible Arrangements.

Yeah. Edible arrangements. Yeah. Let us know. I would say if you want more of my kind of humor, it's... We have two podcasts out. One is Mall Brats, which is in its second season. And the other... Mall brats.

And the other one is spout lore, which is next week ending its 13th season. 13th season, wow. And going into its final season, season 14. Both of them are like D&D type podcasts, but it's, we're very light on rules. Is the 14th season going to pay off everything, all the theories people have? Yes. In a big way. Okay.

Everything. It's not going to be bullshit like they were dead the whole time. It better not be. God damn it, David. They're in purgatory. We're also going to tie up all the loose ends from Lost that never got to. Oh, nice. Oh, I've been waiting.

Well, thank you very much, Abdul. Thank you for being our guest. Thank you for having me. Thank you for teaching me the word locum. And thank you for listening. May all your alizés be Glenn Fidditch slash. fruit baskets. Come on back next to you for another episode to stop podcast of yourself.

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