Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 927 - Abby Shumka

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

Abby Shumka returns to talk Christmas parties, neighbourhood construction, and Mexico. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 927 of Stop Podcasting Yourself, a special Christmas episode. Oh, yeah. Tink, Teak, tick, tick, tick, tick.

What are you? Jingle bells? Or you're going to see you with an ice pick. I do, I forgot that every year I put little jingle bells on the other theme songs. I'm going to have to find that. And with you, as always. I used to myself so much work on Christmas week, this emotional labor I'm doing. And with me, as always, is the Santa to my Scrooge, Canadian Tire style, Mr. Dave Shumka.

You save like Santa, save like Scroo. Exactly. And one of the best ad campaigns I've ever seen in my life, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. So Scrooge was this guy. Yeah. Seems there was this man named Scrooge. So, okay, we all know Scrooge from the play. Yes. The book? The novel. Yeah, you're at the play. You're not supposed to say the name of it backstage.

Scrooge. And he was, but then Canadian Tire, Canada's leading stuff store. Yeah. Canada's dollar store, but everything's $30. And, um... They would have him, uh, he was excited about the savings. Yeah, he would be like, but would he, so it would be old-timey Scrooge, would it all take place an old-timey time? Yeah, it was like old Scrooge. But then he would find a Canadian entire catalog.

He'd be like, ooh, Tetris for the Game Boy on sale this week. And he had a very snively voice. Yes. And then Santa was like, no, it's about giving. And Scroo's like, ah. Did Santa and Scrooge know each other? Yeah, that's canon. And Christmas Carol, Santa comes down in the chimney, he goes, hey, what the, what the fuck?

Do you ever, so we get the modern Santa popularized by Coke? Yes. To have Santa in a Santa suit, a bowl full of jelly, uh, rosy cheeks. Yeah. But then I get bummed out when you're in a store and they're trying to sell like old-timey, um, like old English. Oh, yeah. Santa in a robe. Gross, gross, gross, no.

Um, our guest for this special. Christmas episode is one of our all-time favorite guests has been on the show over the years, been with us always. She is a wife to Mr. Dave Shumkwood, but also her own person. It's Abby Shumka. Oh, it's me. Hello. I didn't know you were so adverse to a robed Santa.

Yeah, I don't like that old-timey, like skinny Santa. It's not a two-piece. Well, let's say Nicholas, maybe. Yeah, maybe it's Father Christmas. You like, yeah, you like a, you like your Santa roly pose. I like, I love my curvy Santa. I like my story Angular and

Judgmental That's how I like my Santa Boney, I agree Boney Is the Santa in The night before Christmas Is he fat or is he thin? No, he is fat

He's a fat guy He's um Okay Something bowl of food Jelly is that where that's what Yeah I was gonna say That might be where They describe him physically right

Rude It's rude We don't talk about other people's body Yeah exactly He if you notice it He's noticed it You know What do we

What's he supposed to do about it? He's got a glandular problem, right? Come on. It's like 800 years of this stuff. Yeah. He's fine. It's just his body type. Reject all.

It's called a visit from St. Nicholas. It's by Clement Clark Moore. We call it the night before Christmas or twas the night before Christmas. Why does it sound like it's the first time I'm ever hearing this man's name? Yeah. I feel like this is absolutely new. I must have heard it on the past. I thought it was written by Scroo.

Oh, yeah. No registration. Also, no one knows it's called a visit from St. Nicholas. Also, you're on Poets.org. Only pedants on mine. Yeah, and no one knows that... Snuggins' not a monster. And that, what's her face?

Kim Cottrell is actually doing the Little Dogs Day Out. Yes. She's not freestyle scatting. She didn't invent a lo, okay? Let's see. Okay. Yeah, it starts off talking a lot about what we're wearing. I'm in a kerchief.

all that, and then we hear big guys, he's naming them Dasher, now dancer, no prancer, now vixen. Is this dude by himself, or is his family asleep? No, his wife, Mama's inner kerchief. Oh, okay. And the kids are asleep. They've got a white noise machine, and they can just really relax. Yeah, the children were nestled all snug in the breath.

I don't like... They were given a little quench roll in their... I don't need to tell you... I think there might be a couple of... I think there might be a couple of mice. stirring. No, it says here there weren't. Not even.

Not a single wine even. Yeah. Did he keep the sash closed? Okay, here's what he looked like. Here's how they, um, he was dressed all in fur. Yeah. Ooh. From his head to his foot.

All his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A bundle of toys he had flung on his back. And I, uh, he bent over and I saw his big crack. Weird. That's weird. His eyes how he, they twinkled. He loves his curvy Santa. His eyes how they twinkled.

His dimples. Now, Mary, his tiny little penis was just like a cherry. Was not at all hairy as the original lyrics. He's cleaning it up for the kids. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and he was dressed like a big, sticky hoe. Weird. I don't remember any of these. Should we get to know us?

Get to know us. We went on a real Christmas time run there. It's a Christmas time of year. It's the spirit. Have we ever covered amongst us what our most hated Christmas song is? Like, not like that you feel like, you know, like horrible to work. But just one that you're like, ah, when it comes on, you're just like, this bums me out. I love Christmas.

Did I say that? Yeah. Dave loves Christmas. I understand if you're screwed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So even the bad songs I like. Yeah, Dave likes anything. Like any up to modern, like up to an in-sink Christmas song?

A blue blay or a Celine. I mean, I guess I like it. I'm not putting those on. True. But if they're on in the car, you're going to make a sit through them. The modern one that is bad that I like is, by modern, I mean 1990s. It's Hey Santa by Wilson Phillips. Hey Santa.

Hey Santa. Santa. Is this written from the perspective of a kid or is it Wilson Phillips singing at themselves? Yeah, it's written from the perspective of China Phillips. And Carney Wilson Man, I That band really takes me back I feel like there's a possibility

I had a tape of Wilson Phillips Oh, it's very possible Yeah There was your mom listen to them Yeah, I mean yeah There was that men, women's and songs Absolutely they were on the you know The beginning

They were yeah they were cutting edge You grew up in Calgary How much country music was listened to? Amongst my family, almost not We had a country station Which I think was the number one station in the city for a long time. And what's the one out here?

It's J.R. F.M. I think so. I can't remember what the other one was. I'll remember later. But... Just ranch. Just ranch and radio. Yeah.

But it was all what was considered... J.R. is just ranch? Yeah. That's what I can do. They're cowboys. Just ranch radio. J.R. is a good name because it reminds you of Dallas. Yes.

Yes. The guy who was... Murder? No, no. He made it through. He made it through, yeah. But it's like, who should. shot yeah you remember when you were a kid and who shot mr burns yeah was on she

remember like i remember who shot jr i remember i remember hearing grownups talk about who shot jr because my parents were not interested but like my aunts and uncles and stuff were and it was on like all the you know the commercials and stuff and teasing it's from dallas right yeah yeah um yeah and then it took me like 10 15 years to actually be like oh that's what happened i remember going on early for who shot mr burns i remember going on like what would they like like like Usenet message boards. Oh, sure. That would be people's theories.

I think the leading theory, which they created in the program, was that it was it was Whalen Smithers, right? Yeah. Because of the W and the S. But it was an M.S. But it was an M.S. But that was my best guess going into it. That was pretty good.

So back to you. You brought it up for a reason, I'm sure. What? Was your most hated Christmas song? Oh, I don't particularly like. Michael Boobley's take on Santa Baby Oh Santa Buddy Yeah I think if he's doing it

It's still baby You know it's fine if he's in a relationship with Santa That's true You know they don't have to be chums They can be They did change some of the lyrics too To be like With the things he wants

He wants them to be more manly Yeah some diesel fuel Yeah some slip some diesel under the tree Or wait are trees manly Oh uh What's up the forest are Yeah Yeah

Hey chat Hey chat Um The Do you hate any Christmas Songs? I fucking hate Santa Baby I hate all the versions of it

I hate it So because there's a Madonna version There's an Eartha Kit version Oh yeah Santa buddy get bent The whole thing Fuck all of you Yeah

Because everybody sucks No it sucks The vibes They bring to wit the vibes It brings no Yeah I'm with you Yeah

Not interested You know what I like is God I think it's still on YouTube the David Letterman Christmas episode every year with the football

and the meatball he would have have Darling in love with the singing Um Is it Joe Namath? No

Well I think They had Or like the prop guy No It was the guy Who was He was like Was he

On Murphy Brown Or cheers or Or something He was Jay Oh yeah Yeah I know he was Kind of bald

Yeah Yeah I know the guy Oh my God And then he would have to hit the star of the tree or something. He would have to hit the... The meatball, the meatball off the Christmas tree. And then he would tell his story about, like, the time he had to drive around the Lone Ranger at Christmas. And Paul Schaefer would do his impression of Cher singing, oh, holy night every year.

Yes. That should still be... Every year, Letterman, the whole gang should reunite and do just that episode every year. Well, he died. The guy, Jay, oh, my God, I feel bad. No, I know who you're talking about. He may have played. When you said Murphy Brown, I knew who you were talking about.

Yeah, did he? Kind of wore a hat, like a Navy baseball cap, maybe. I don't know. You know, look, with, like, the fried eggs on top, you know? Do you know what I mean, though? I'm more confused now. You know, it's like a Navy baseball cap and it has like U.S. Navy or whatever, the name of the boat you're on. And then they're supposed to be like laurels.

Yeah, and they look like frivoled eggs to me. Yes. Oh, that is not who I'm thinking of. Okay. Okay, never mind. You were thinking of sort of the guy with the scrambled eggs hat. Yeah. The Navy hat.

You know the guy with the scrambled eggs. When you said eggs, I was like, I pictured fried eggs and I was like, when you said Navy baseball hat, I was like half of the baseball teams like the Yankees, the Red Sox, they all navy. They all have dark blue hats. Oh, anyway. Abby, how's your year been? When were you last on? Was it Christmas? I have no idea. It might have been Christmas. Yeah, I remember you being Christmas. I remember being present for coupons. Yep, yeah. I remember that. Maybe if we're lucky. That might be the last time. But yeah, so it's, you know, a calendar year. What's your calendar year been like? What's the, give me just the high. I love, I love, I love my calendar year. You haven't been on?

No, you've been on one year ago. Okay. Okay. And fine. The year's been good. Yeah. We didn't do too much. It's fairly low-key, but it's been nice.

It's been nice not doing anything and going anywhere. Yeah. 20-25. Kind of relaxed year. Yeah. Yeah. Works. Clipping along.

Oh, yeah. How's work? I'm working at the fabric retailer. It's super great. Everything rules. Abby sells fabric. We got our product. or a holiday party on Friday.

Oh, nice. That's what I miss about working at a place. Holiday, holiday party? Yeah. I was supposed to go to one on Sunday. And I really like my co-workers. So it's also like, it's not like, oh, we're doing something cool. And I have to go hang out with people I work with.

It's like, no, I get to do stuff with people I really like hanging out with. What is what you doing? What's the? We're just having like a little, since we're all, like, we all make things and we love sewing and stuff like that. We all have random crafts. But we do. We're doing like a little crafting and a grazing board at work right after. Nice.

Don't accidentally, you know, sew some bologna. Yeah. Bologna. It worked for gaga. To our tasting. To our craft. To our Christmas, our felt Christmas ornaments. Make Lady Gaga a bologna dress. Nice.

Make a Christmas. Yeah, a bologna gown. Yeah. I was in New York. There was a whole, it was a whole room that was built. And there was a different piece of bolognailed and, like, different. times. Some of them were

shrivel up. Oh, just a different rate. Gotcha. It was just like walls of baloney. What sort of business? Yeah, what are you talking about?

Where was this? Like a hotel lobby? Sorry, this is at an art gallery. This is like a delicatessen. Scrimble egg hat all over again. Aren't we a bear? Yeah, I, over the years,

I've, as a comedian, I've had to play at different Christmas parties. Or random, uh-huh. And they're almost always across the board, terrible. Because all anybody wants to do is what you guys are doing. You're showing up, drink, listen to music. But that's not, we got more.

That's just the first hour. Oh, what else happened? Then we're going to doing an escape room. Oh, shit. Yeah. Have you ever done one before? No. They're fun.

I like them. I fully intend a main dead weight, but that's fine. Yeah. I'll bring all the good vibes. And do you know if there's like a time limit or if you're? Oh, for sure. There's three different rooms and there's three different difficulty levels. And we've all had a chance to, like, put our preferences in.

Like I said, I know my coworkers and they know me. Is it your, is your, and some of my coworkers are very into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is your, um, so I'm leaning on them? Is the owner the one organizing it or? Her and like the, you know, the people who want to do it. The C-O-O, the chief operations officer, that's Nat. When I did an escape room years and years ago, up front, the guy was like, okay,

nothing's behind this. Uh, framed artwork of the world. Nothing's mind that. Don't try to do it. As soon as he's gone in for a briefing. It was nothing was there. He was, uh, he was being truthful. Yeah, I wonder why he's had to say that before.

Um, and then after that, oh shit, there's more. Going to a bar that's also an arcade and has, like, I was going to be a arcade bar. Yes. Going to Greta. Yeah. So I've already looked at the video games they have available and I'm excited. There's enough the two people fighting games, which are the ones on the street fighter, the, you know.

Mortal Kombat. Mortal Kombat. Also a bunch of shooting games, which I also love. Oh, cool. So I was never good at, I feel like I was okay at sports games at home, but arcade games were just like, well, there was my quarter in 30 seconds. That's why I only do the fighting games, because at least you get three rounds out of it and like do some shit. Not if you lose the first two rounds. Yeah, it's very true.

Unless it's like a side-scrolling game where it's like, oh, I fell in the alligator pit. I'm dead. Oh, yeah. And like, but the shooting games, especially if they got the arcade gun. Yeah, man. I wanted to fucking shoot some aliens and Terminators and shit. Let's heck and go. There was years and years ago at the one on Granville Street, the very old arcade.

Oh, sure. They had an Aerosmith game and it was just like, this rules. That's nice. My brother and I played it so many times. But not pinball. No, no, like a video game. And I think after you. Are you performing?

What are you doing in this game? I feel like Aerosmith is egging you on. Everything's rock and roll based in the game. Of course. We definitely talked about this because I brought up the fact that I had an Aerosmith game for my PC. that had like a guitar pick controller that had a scuzzy input pre-USB

and never worked. But I found this web... It walks so rock band could run. I found a website... I don't know. I can't find it right now. But it's somewhere. And it's...

He's pulling out a different computer. This one just won't wake up. And it is... Wake up! Wake up. And it is... Oh, emupeedia.net. Oh, no.

And then you go and you can pick which operating system and you can have like Windows 95, Windows 98, whatever. And then you can play all these old games. And you can just like play Doom 2 and it has all the codes. Oh, God, IDQD. IDKFA. No, I like to get my own weapons.

Oh, really? I just wanted God Mode, and I wanted to actually, like, get the keys, get the ammunition. Oh, IDC, L-I-P. I just want to walk through the walls, baby. There's a, I think the Terminator game was a shotgun, and you've shot at a, like, shells in the corner to, like, reload. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, or shoot off screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know that the Terminator game was a shotgun, and I know that the Limbiscuit game was a chainsaw.

What? What is he going to do with that? That's skin your ass wrong. What? What? That's actually not bad. No, that's good. If someone comes at you with a chainsaw and they just skin your ass.

Oh, you got me. I'm going to need some ointment, but at least you didn't chop me in half. Yeah. God. Like, there was a time when chainsaw wasn't associated with horror movie. There was just like chainsaws were like, just a thing of Lumberjack. Yeah. Whoever thought of that.

Well, Scarface changed that. Oh, boy. That wasn't even his little friend. No. Oh, yeah, that was pretty little friend. Many years before. That was, apparently, chainsaws are not as, like, intuitive as you would think. No.

And if you, like, go around in the bush, you'll find many, like, stuck in trees. Because people just assume they could cut down in their tree. They knew it. Hoopies. I'm sure you guys have all seen plenty of videos of trees falling on people's house so they didn't. Oh, for sure. Know what they were doing? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There was one I saw recently. It was like three old men standing behind one, and it was a big tree, and they were going, they thought it was going to fall away from them, but then it fell away, but then the back came towards them and somehow got all three of them in the nuts, or like two of them in the nuts, and it was like, how is this even physically? It's nature. Yeah, nature's way. Yeah, nature's way of telling you, no kids.

Yeah, going to get you in the nuts and skin your ass raw. Yeah, I didn't even need a chainsaw. That's the power of mother nature, my friend. Um, well, that's, uh, fantastic because I've never been to, I don't, I've never had a job that had, uh, Christmas party. Yeah. So, uh, last year was karaoke. Karaoke's good. It was pretty fun.

What's your song? Oh, yeah. And I, I asked this as someone who's been married to you. I've been with you for 25 years. I did say it ain't so. Nice. I did love fool. Um, yes.

That's a fine one. Um, I believe, I did like some rock and roll. maybe I did crazy train. Oh, that's a fun one. And it's not long. And it's fun, you can go. Hi, I, I, aye, aye. Yeah.

Yeah. I, uh, past guest Kyle Fine. He really, he owns karaoke. He like, he does creed and he does, like, high fives people and he's, like, doing all the actions, yeah, really working the crowd. Uh, you don't want to follow him. You don't want to follow him. Sure.

You can open for him, but don't follow them. Yeah. I could follow him. You haven't heard me do shallow. Is that a duet? Yes. Oh, yeah, let's do it. Yeah.

Tell me something, Graham. I don't know the song. Abby. Shalalal la la la la la la la la. It was a very big one in Oscar. It did? It was on the radio every time I got my car. Yeah.

What was it in a movie? Starzborn. Starzborn with Gagah. Oh, with Gagga. And your boy was going to call him Bradley Peterson. Not his name. Yeah. No, that's a different.

That's a different guy. Yeah, Bradley Cooper. You stormed Hollywood. You got your Bradley Cooper fan club, movie club. Yes, yeah. And we never did watch The Stars Born. I don't think in Bradley Cooper. Yes, we did.

That's the only time I've seen that. Why is it completely scrub from my brain? I like the one with... Your brain did you in favor. Thanks, Brain. Oh, I like the one with Judy Garland or the one before with, oh, my God. Barbistrice-Sand. No, before Judy Garland.

Oh, there's another one. Like in the 20s or something in the 30s? There's two more. There's one in the 30s called What Price Hollywood? And then one in the... Or was that in the 20s? And then... Then that was just a train coming towards the screen.

Yeah. People were freaking out. And then there was one... Oh, with some actors I've never heard of. Not of like a household name. And then the other three. Yeah. So, Tale, it's...

Tail the only told. Yeah. Exactly Oh, I should sing that at next character Yes, beauty of the beast Because I have done the We did one once at work We also have a little karaoke machine

At work just in the warehouse Nice And Do people We like draw We drew out of a bowl Like genres Does it have to be like an organized thing

Or can someone just Hey guys during your lunch I'm going to do Both have happened Okay I'm not hungry I'm going to sing instead Yeah

You're okay, he's just, she's going to tire himself out. New album just dropped. She's got to practice. She doesn't know the words. Have you ever been in the, like, in karaoke when you realize, I don't know the words this? Yeah, like, oh, I know the first three lines and that's it. Yeah, yeah.

And like, you're like, I don't know the tempo. The power of love by Huey Lewis and the news has a bridge. Oh, oh. Yeah. Dave, do you ever have a Christmas party in any of your working life? Yeah, when I, when Kelly and Kelly were all living in Vancouver, we had a few kind of more just like. There's one at the office. There's one at someone's house.

Yeah, and then some like, you know, big lunch, last big lunch before the holidays. That's nice. Yeah. Flip a sable under the tree. I, I, uh. For me? Yeah. Well, for somebody.

Whoever's, that's from that song you hate. Yeah. Can I just tell you something about Abby? She's been an angel all year. I've been trying really hard. Yeah, I've talked myself out of Christmas gigs where I'm like, what you want is an up-close magician. You don't want to stand up to a comedian. Yeah, I don't have to listen to somebody talk.

There's one I did at the Anza that was like a voiceover studio every year would just rent out the Anza and have a bunch of comedians through time. And it was a great show. and the audience was great. I never had a good, because of that, like, I was like, you want a DJ? And then whenever I say up close magician, they're like, yes, that is what I want. The kinds of businesses that would have this kind of party

have a lot of employees. So it makes more sense for them to hire a comedian. Like for our, we're like 14 people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it'd be weird to have that sort of entertainment for us. But if you work for a corporation or a bigger company, then you could hire you. but then that is not the gig you want to do.

That's not what I want to do. Right? The people who could do it are the people you don't want to do it for, you know? And personally, I would never work for a corporation. That's right. I am so punk rock. Yeah, these days everybody wants to sell up, but not us, man. So alt.

We never did. So woke. Ads for suitcases and such. Well, no, we did ads for suitcases. And a bed. We definitely did a Casper mattress. Did you do a chocolate cover strawberry? Yeah, we did a Sherry's Berry's, yeah.

But we did just once. And I think we did one... Adam and Eve. We had a lot of just one-time ads. Yeah. A million square spaces and a million... ZipRecruiter. Ziprooter, yes.

With a reoccurring character. In fact. ZipRecruiner. ZipRecruiter. I wonder if he'll make an appearance this year at the Christmas party. Christmas prayers! This is a croony time of year. It is.

It's the croniest time of year. It's true. I know what my house it is because I live with that guy. Am I crooning a lot? these days Whop-a-B-B-B-B-B-B-W-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-P-E-Legsing. Peel me a grape. Oh, yeah. Is that a Christmas song, or that's in all year?

No, she, on her Christmas album, she did Peel Me a Cranberry. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. The 12 days of peeling me a grape. Yeah. On the 12th day of Christmas, my true-l-a-grap. Twelve grapes are peeled. Eleven grapes appealed. 10 grapes

Appeal Yeah It's a fruit lover Man Produce is terrible This time of year It is Yeah

Unless you're like a really Big Apple fan Yeah I am I got an iPod I got an iPad Yep I watch all of

The keynotes Yeah I like You like apples You like apples? Yes I do It's one of my favorites Do you guys have

you're going to ask her if she likes apples I like them apples yeah if you like them apples I got her number how can you say do you like apples and then just move on

yeah move on you're right in front of my husband but what are you guys what is your I think I know yours we have conflicting apples and we just get his here's the thing

I've given up the apple we've talked about this maybe on every other episode and I never get tired of it. Ambrosia apples. Yes. What's your apple? I like something a little harder and something a little tartar. I like a pink lady. I like a

jazz. I like a, what's the other one? Chantous. It's another one that's like a red and yellow one. I forget what it is. They're all kind of in the... Some are red and green. Some are just red. Some are just green. Some are very yellow. But it's, yeah, you know. I guess pink lady, I guess,

is probably. Brown. And I just remember that one too because of it's got such a cool name. Um, I remember, well, I'm currently subscribed to a veggie box. Oh, sure. Uh, and one of those you just get what you get kind of deal? Yeah. And you don't get upset. Uh, oh, you're allowed to me.

Yeah, I get upset because it's loaded with apples and pears. And I can't imagine anybody wanting a pear. I have had some apple pears recently that were very tasty, the Chinese like, uh, Chinese I'm only learning about this right now. It's because I think a pair, the texture I don't love, the softness, the combliness. Yeah, but if you get a Chinese apple. With the pair on this guy. This guy, a pair of nuts.

Hey, Tarzan, why you took a swing on this? But an apple pear is the texture of an apple, but the flavor of a pair. Interesting. Very nice. They're in store right now. They're in like Asian grocery stores right now. Okay. In, I got to go to Asian.

Can you have apples, raw apples? No. No. I can have them though, like I had them this morning and some oatmeal and it was. But they were cooked. They were cooked. They were cooked. Right.

Okay. And it's like. The, we got so many apples. Like, I don't know, like, it's going to be apples. Yeah. Apples today, some people will say it's good for you. I thought you said apples and eggs. And I was like, okay, that's a new one.

An old apple and egg hat. Like, you do you, boo. It's fine. Every year at Christmas, uh, at my parents' house, since I was a child, the first course was always a fruit salad at dinner. Yes. And like old school, right? A very, yeah.

Everything's white, except for that marriage. So it's apples pears. What else? No cantaloupe or any honeydews. There's a maraschino cherry for sure. And then like pineapple? Maybe. No, not even.

Orange? Yeah, like the little mandarin ones that are like in the container, not the like, not a fresh peel. Yeah, I was always, oh yeah. Those are good. Yeah. With the syrup, right? Yeah. That's why.

That's what me's good. I got to get some of that this week. I could eat those just like out of the fridge, like a container of those like little mandarin's like. It's been. the spirit, but I just give me like a soup spoon and I'm just going to shovel them all in my face. It's so sweet and tasty. Yes, it's something the kids will eat, a fruit the kids will eat.

Is there anybody that brings over something weird? Mm-hmm. What's the weird one? Oh, no. Well, I mean. They just go through phases. My uncle, on Christmas Eve, my uncle is German, and he would make, uh, uh, like pickled herring.

Oh, sure, yeah. And then... Or he'd serve it. I don't know if he'd make it. I don't know if he's pickling his own herring. And then on the morning of Christmas morning, we would have dinner or breakfast over there, and he would make German Stolen.

Yes. Oh, and then... Apple turnover kind of deal. And then on the night before there would be Aspec. Oh, yeah, Aspeg, which is the funniest name to tell a kid. There's so many things that are funny and weird about Aspec. And it's a tomato gelatin. Like shrimp in it.

Oh, yeah. Is that, is it good? I've never had it. I can't say. Yeah. It's there and it looks. And there's like.

Like a thing. Because it's the, you know, for some people, for the people who like it, this is the one day a year. Yeah. And they're so stoked.

There's two people in the family who eat it out of like 30 people. So they get to share an aspect. Mm-hmm. Oh, lucky man. Meat in the middle. Yeah. Um, yeah,

I feel like. One of ours was green beans, which aren't that weird, but I feel like it was in a weird sauce. And I was also, we were told, you have to take it. Like, you have to put this on your plate. This is the only, like, nutritional, you know, component of dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Green beans with weird sauce. Every year.

Cream of mushroom soup or some shit on them, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something that was out of, you know, a magazine 50 years ago. 100%. 100%. Um, I, uh, there's a blog that I followed for a long time. And there was somebody making those, things like ham in a microwave or something, like crazy, you know, 60s, early 60s. A friend of the show Anna Markhart, if you're listening, Anna, hi.

Hi, Anna. She had a jello channel where she just remade, like, 1950s jello recipes. Oh, wow. It was a whole channel on YouTube. She did it for quite a few years. It was great. That's amazing. And they were fucked up.

You don't decide who's a friend of the show. Okay, sorry. Sorry, Anna. Yeah. I'll let this one slide. Okay. Because it's Christmas And you love Christmas so much

When's the last time You guys had Jello? Not that long ago It does stain carpet We discovered though Yes Because it is The color is vibrant

And artificial We've had it since we've had kids They don't love it But man It's so good with a little bit of whipped cream on top Oh my gosh It is tasty Especially in a cafeteria

Or it's just been sitting there Yeah Yeah My grandmother would make one with fruit in it. Yes. And you were like digging for the, like fruit was the prize that you had to go.

Oh, I felt the opposite. Oh, you're like to dig around the fruit. I like to put bananas and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, I've never had it since. No.

Yeah. I haven't ever made jello as an adult. I feel like I tried my hand it as a kid, but it's just like, it just never comes up. Well, it's, it's, get a box of red and a box of green and not vegetarian.

Go to town. No, it's got gelatin in it. Yeah. Which is horses. There has to be a non- Oh, I'm sure. But also, you know, this jello connected to Bill Cosby. I can never forget that it's connected to him.

You know what I mean? Can't shake that. Yeah. You, but I could shake Jared from Subway, so. It's weird that there are so many disgraced spokespeople. There really are. Yeah. And I, boy, I feel weird every time I rent a Hertz renter car in my isotroner gloves.

Since OJ had isotoners. Yeah. That's a long I've been done, yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Him too. Yeah. See, there you go.

It all comes back. You know who hasn't disappointed us? Dr. Dre. Dr. Dre beats by Dre. Yes, I wear. So I wear all my beats by Dre. Headphones, uh, proudly. T-shirts, mostly merch stuff.

Yeah. And I haven't done that much research into them. but I hope he's okay more than once I've been on a trip and forgot my headphones at home and had to buy a pear I had to grow a pair

people tell me that all the time still waiting still waiting on that a pair of what no just a pair like it from a pear tree oh gotcha for the partridge

playing with words Yeah, and Wordplay's fun. Yeah. Yeah, and then, like, I'll buy one at the airport. And then they're completely not names that you've ever heard. Oh, sure. It's some weird. Yeah, like, the one I bought on this trip was called an iPhone, but not iPhone font.

And also it's headphones, and so it's not really iPhone anything, which is probably illegal. It's probably illegal what they were doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, um. Do you know. Yeah. Yeah. I, like, Amazon is full of these weird brands.

Oh, yeah. that are like, oh, I want some wireless headphones. And they're all brands I've never heard of. Oh, the top rated one is Jabra. Yeah. And then you go to like, go to a wire cutter and see, well, what do they recommend? Oh, they recommend Jabra. When you put on your headphones and you turn them on, does your thing have a voice?

Yeah. What does your voice say? Power on. That mindset is power on. Connected. pairing is when... Oh, I have one pair that's...

Because I have Sony and Panasonic maybe and they say different things. Yeah. And I had to buy an emergency pair Wicked WKD,

WCKD or something because they were like the cheapest ones of shoppers because I was driving to work and I was like fuck being a work all day and not having headphones.

I have... Don't listen to my bitch co-workers? That I have to hang out who are constantly doing karaoke. We bought actually three karaoke machines so they're doing it over top

of each other. They do it in a round. They do it in a round. Yeah. They do it in chaperi your boat, okay? Yeah. H-O-T-O-G-O gets real unwieldly. My earbuds just go, beep-boop. That's it? Yes, I get that too. And does that mean that it's it's on and connected? You need to learn what each one means. Oh, is there different tones? There's different tones. Okay.

Sometimes, and then you give a little tap on the side and it either pauses it or fast forwards depending on how many taps. Well, I have the, you have the little air pod ones, and I have the ones that are the ear in-ear ones, but they're just connected to each other. Mine is I do like what we're wearing right now, over the ear.

Over the shirt under the blouse. Wait, over the bra. Oh, here comes the sexy mouse. Yep. Over the shirt, out of the blouse. Here comes a sexy mouse. Yeah, is there anything that is like your family

tradition that you have to still carry out? every Christmas or is there Are you kind of not into that? We're like into weird traditions at our house So for many years we watched Bloodsport on Christmas Day Really? Yeah. Okay. It was Kumite with day drinking.

Yeah. The guy with the big pecks, right? Yes. Was he Tampo? Yeah. Yeah, he's quite a pair. I mean, the American guy, right? The big American guy with the cross-eyed

Yeah. And the curly hair. That's right. I love him. Was he from Revenge of the Nerd? Yes. And then Dijon Claude. Frank Dix.

He plays American Frank Dukes. Yeah. But in movies, and I don't know if this is true, is there some kind of shadow world where people fight? Yes. Like, in the real world? In the real world. Oh, sure. I got to assume so, but.

Why can I get to do it? Why can't I have a... Here's the wrong part of town, I guess. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they're all over town. You're just in the wrong neighborhood. It's in the wrong neighborhood. You got a knock on the right door.

Yes. You know what? I can say it. I like watching Bare knuckle boxing. Hey, you know? It's honest. It's honest. And it's short. It's straightforward. Yeah, it's short. It looks like it probably hurts the knuckles as much as the face. Exactly. So that's why they're like, I'm out. You know, it's everything's consensual.

It's the oldest thing, right? Like humans fighting each other. So it's like we have a long history of just humbling each other. Oh, what if they were all like had caveman on their wall? There's a. Carrying the tradition. forward. In my hockey, weekly hockey game. David loves us hockey.

A couple times a year guys fight. Oh, sure. Like, they'll just be arguing and then... With the other team. Or with themselves. Well, yeah, with a guy...

This is the mirror and the change room. You were fucked up. You know what you did. A guy, like, it's usually like... Because you have like a pool of 20 people or whatever. And then every week you, everybody you decide what team you're on. Yeah, so we all know each other. But then sometimes.

The same 30 to 50 guys all the time. Like, guys bump into each other. And some guys take it really personally. And most guys are just like, oh, sorry. Sorry about that. These are 55-year-old tech bros. Or whatever, like bureaucrats. Like, people have desks jobs.

Right. But this is their fight club. Like, this is where they get it all out. But, like, a couple times of your guys will punch each other. And it is. But it's such a civil, like, you're so civilized. Not that hockey's not. But like, it is, it's embarrassing.

Gentleman. Yes. Yeah. Oh, God. And, like, someone always gets hurt in the stupidest way. Like, a guy had to go to the hospital to get his finger put back. Like, he got his, his gloves stuck in another guy's, like, cage. Oh, or whatever.

Oh, my God. I broke it? I guess. Wow. That's, uh, yeah. Dislocated it. Sure. It is.

Significant medical attention. Yeah, I don't. There's something about adults. Dave just falls on his butt. He's fine. And I say, and I say sorry. Yeah. And you immediately acknowledge.

the fuck up because it's always an accident because you're never malicious. You're always delicious though. Always delicious.

Yeah. I remember when I was a kid we would go to my brother's lacrosse games and more than once I saw two like adult men fighting and it was very upsetting. Yeah.

Because it was like a dad, two dads. That's fucked out. Yeah, two dads punching each other and I do how to fight. It was Greg advocate and Paul Reiser

from my two dads. Oh wow. The good pull on the other guy. Yeah, seriously. And they were fighting over their daughter. Stacy Keenan. Stacey Keenan.

She was so cute. She also went step by step. Oh, yeah. She was like the sarcastic sister. They were all a little bit sarcastic. No, but she was like, she had that 90s bitchy girl vibe. Who, okay. She was on it and then there was a little kid on it?

Oh, step by step. Yeah, step by step. For six kids? And Cody. Cody dominated that show as soon as he showed up. It was the Cody show. Yeah, unfortunately. I think we talk about that maybe in a couple weeks with a future guest.

You're consistent, if nothing else. We've pre-taped a bit, guys, but oh, that episode's good. It's good. I can pretend I'm from Calgary and I can invent a store. High school. I can go to you want to play that game. I went to one you never heard. Oh, that would be amazing.

Last week, we talked about, I went to a soccer game. I saw a soccer game on, I went to the, Go to the arena and you watch it on the screen. At the stadium and watch it on the JumboTron, the watch party. That was for the semifinals of the MLS. And then the White Caps made it to the finals. And I went and watched that. Yeah.

And they lost. But the referee was the two-time winner of the Major League Soccer referee of the year. Really? A 45-year-old man from Calgary. Really? Born the same year as you. Oh, my God. I tried to find what high school.

school he went through, but I could not. Can you imagine the sliding door situation that could have happened? Yeah, that's right. If I picked a different door, then I would have been the rip. What was his name? Did he be a bozo with the podcast? His name is Drew Fisher. Drew Fisher.

Well, good on you, Drew Fisher. Yeah, good luck to you. And all the articles about him, none of them say, you know, that he went to Lord Beaverbrook or whatever. Oh, who went to Temple Grandin or whatever? Bishop Grandin. Yeah. Double Grandin High School

Double Grandin gave movie Oh yeah that hug machine Everybody was so chill Speaking of you Dave What you've been up to? Well Abby was talking about her year Yeah Working and this was your year

This is my year baby We're coming to an end Yeah I know what a time to look back What a time to look back The So she works At her employment Which is the best place to wear

Well, I work at home every day. Oh, I see what you say. Yes, I go out of the house to work and Dave stays home. And I've noticed, so there's so much construction in our neighborhood. Oh, my God. And basically, like, every day I go, like, I walk the dogs and run an errand or something. And then when Abby's home, I basically just update her on what's going on with all the construction. Well, this place, they looks like they're still excavating, which is the loudest part.

I hate the excavating. You also sent me a text of like... They installed Reevear over here. The plaza, the plaza I'm... He's on it. Because the plaza is just a flat surface that they're... Yeah. It seems very complicated for a flat piece of, you know, concrete.

Yeah. I don't know. So they're building this plaza. I'll enjoy it when it's done. They had the... This plaza was a temporary plaza in our neighborhood. And they've been building it or they had it for like three or four years. And then they announced,

We're making it permanent, but it's going to take a year, which is... Yeah, and they started in, like, September, October, like, right at the end of the summer. July, the start of the summer. Oh, boy. And so... With no sign up or anything, people just, one day was just gone. And I was like, what? And I'm like, it's just a flat area.

Why is it taking a year? I think they're done. I think it's already done. Because they've everything... They just told us a year to shut us up. Well, everything, they might not reopen it for six more months. Right. Right, but you think it's a done.

But everything that had, like, rebar has been paved. Everything's covered. Everything's, like, out of curb. Except there's a few holes, which I assume will be, like, trees. Sure. And then maybe there's definitely, like, places where they've put, you know, where lampposts will go. Sure. Any signs of potential toilet? Yeah, there's a big toilet.

Just a big open toilet. Well, it's surrounded by glass. They've installed where there's, they've already installed the, there'll be a water fountain. Nice. And that is, what's that, if not a toilet? That's true. It's kind of a bidet. Depends on, yeah, the height of it, really.

But, yes, it's basically a bidet. Because the other, the nasty plaza has a couple of, has a porta potty, right? Yeah. And like, the new plaza will no, no toilet. And that's always been the failure, but then it had no toilet. Or is that good? Because I don't want to smell.

You don't want to sit next to, yeah. Yeah, I don't think there's plans for a toilet. Huh. Well, unless it's sort of an art piece. It's an art toilet. So that's what I mostly do is I give Abby updates on what, oh, so this place, they put up those little fences around the trees. So I think they're going to knock that house down soon. Oh, there was a work truck over there.

They were measuring stuff over here. There's two streets near me that are close, close to traffic that are city work. Like being up the, yeah, like shit. It's never finished, is it? Never. Well, I was joking to some coworkers this week. I was like, wait, we'd have any holiday party. plans.

And I'm saying that, yeah, we're good together with some of our friends who live in the neighborhood, yourself and your lovely wife included, and how we're just going to go to my house, talk about all this shit in the neighborhood, all the neighbors we hate who annoyed us, and then have a job of drinks, then go home. So this is your top, you kind of top 10 for the year of construction project. We all live in the same kind of hood. We can all complain about the same things. We can commiserate.

Who's the name right? That's what we did last year. We just complained about people with shitty dogs, people with shitty construction, people who parked wrong. people, you know. Do you ever go to the dog park, the new dog park? No, our dogs are freaks. Oh, yeah, they are freaks on a leash, really?

Yeah, they got to be on that leash. That's how I have to live my life. So that's what's going on. The other thing that's going on is, um, uh, for many years we did our bedtime routine included, you know, reading to the kids. Talking about your day. What's going to happen tomorrow? Um, and then, yeah, our kids can read to themselves now.

And so we. It became such a hassle to, like, pick a book and someone. I don't want it. The whole thing. But they've laid up our lives. Yes, absolutely. But we, so, like, maybe eight months ago, we switched the routine to be, let's all watch a show together.

If you don't want to watch a show, you don't have to. You can go fuck off quietly in your room and chill out and decompress that way. But this is how the process is going to work. I'm trying to think of what is the show that you guys watch. For many months, we watched Bob's, Burgers. Oh. Yeah, we got through quite a few seasons of Bob's burgers.

Yeah, that's fun. Which is great. And then we could always go back, but then we were trying to. So, so many seasons. We were trying to find a new one. And I wonder if you, so this is a show I never thought I'd watch. And I'm going to sing to you the theme song. And I wonder if you know this song.

Every night of my life. Oh, how does it start? Well, I'll just tell you how it ends. I'm something climbed a mountain. Yeah. I am a mighty little man. is how it ends. And then the words appear on the screen.

I have no idea. This is a show about a young sort of Sheldon character. Ah, shit, do you really? Yeah. Oh, man. It's been a while since our kids have made us watch something that we do not care for. I appreciate it. It's been watching a lot of stuff.

Yeah, because I never watched. That doesn't have anything bad in it. No. Exactly. I never watched Old Sheldon. Yeah. The new adventures of old Sheldon. Yes.

Or the two new spin-offs that are coming in the new year. They're both already on and one is in the second season. Yeah. Shit. And they, I never watched Big Bang Theory. Like, I knew what it was. Five minutes here or 30 seconds there. This is number one comedy in Canada.

You're in, year out. Yeah, weekend, week out. Sure. Yeah. Like, I remember seeing a chart of like the top 50, things Canadians watched one year and it was like the Super Bowl was like number 15

the Oscars were number 40 and the rest were episodes of Big Bang Theory, Young Sheldon and the Good Doctor. Canada loves autism. Yeah. Was the Good Doctor who shot here? Yeah. Here in the backyard. And so

Young Sheldon is this boy Sheldon. Yes. Growing up in the 80s in Texas. Now is this pre-Bazinga? This is pre-bezingo. Yes, he doesn't even start the show. At the beginning of the show, he doesn't even like comic books. Weird. Weird.

And then he, but it's, it's, it's very strange because it's no laugh track. It is, the B plot usually doesn't even get resolved. Sure. Kind of just to take up time. And the, uh, the young Sheldon is, sorry, if you already said it, is it has laughs in it. No, it's not. They don't have, okay, no laughs. His mother, we were watching the show, and his mother, I was like, oh, she reminds me of Lori Metcalf.

Oh, yeah. And then I looked her up, and she's Lori Metcalf's daughter. Hell yeah. And then I looked up Lori Metcalf and she plays Sheldon's mother on the new one. On the new one? On the big Sheldon. So that's pretty nice. That is pretty nice.

That's a thing we could all appreciate. That's pretty cool. Yeah, that's awesome. And she's fine. She's great on that show. I like her. Yeah. Very Christian.

Oh, okay. The mother's very Christian. Christian in the show. Yeah, she's in like Dungeons and Dragons. There's one episode where she sees like some sort of Lucifer-esque sort of creature. She starts to get like all pearl clutchy about Dungeons and Dragons.

And then everything resolved and it's fine. Sure. Well, of course it resolves. He's got to grow into Old Sheldon eventually. He's got to make friends with other nerds and learn about nerd stuff. And then also some women. Oh, sure, sure. Yeah.

He's a mighty little man. That's so funny, you guys. Yeah. That's insane that you guys are doing that. And it's also, like, not the worst option. No, what do we try? We tried, like, modern family. That's kind of a smooth.

Gravity Falls. Like, we tried animated stuff. We've tried live action stuff. Like, shop around a little bit. Brooklyn 9-9. It's just that we need to, we need buy-in from the kids. Yeah. Yeah.

They love Sheldon. I shot the new girl. Oh, yeah, new girls. Opening was much more sexual than I'd remember. Yeah. But, you know, what are you going to do? She's that manic dream? I think when I first saw Allie McBeal, I was like, they shouldn't be watching this.

Well, our oldest kids started watching Grey's Anatomy. Oh, that's a good one. That's a great. She's her new favorite show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And at the beginning, I was just like, what the fuck is she watching? Then I was like, it's network TV. Like, it can't be too violent or too sexual or too, you know.

Yeah, I mean, it's usually after the violence that they're seeing these people beat up. Yeah, and I'm just like, they're going to pull at your tucks, your heartstrings. They're going to make you cry, but making you love people. you're going to see some weird gore. And if you're okay with that, then I guess, go for it. It's just like 13 seasons in. And I had to warn her, just so, you know, like, real doctors aren't this attractive. Yes.

There's some cool soundtracks in the hospital playing when you're, like, waiting around. Eventually, every kid has to learn about Tegan and Sarah somewhere. Yeah, an image in heap, you know, and all these. I wonder if she's like the OC. Oh, I don't know. Maybe. If you want to learn about. You know, the Postal Service.

Yeah. The Rooney. Anyway, so that's what's going on with us this Christmas. We're having a mighty little man. Jesus was sort of a mighty little man. He was the original mighty little man. He was kind of a young shelter type character. Oh, yeah.

In so many ways. I mean, Bazinga, what is Bazinga, if not Mur? Yeah. I was going to say, ho, ho. I was going to say, hollelujah or something. Graham, I know what's going on with you? I, over the past. week, in celebration of my mother's 70th birthday, we went to Mexico.

And dole, and o'clock. And this is a, this, I only heard this this morning on the CBC World Report that there's huge surge of people who would go to the states. Yeah. Are not going and going to Mexico instead. We're thinking about it? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, it's, it was a lot of fun. It was at a resort, all inclusive, which I've never been to. Pretty great. Was the fruit so much better than here? Uh, no, the fruit was fine. Fine fruit. Yeah. It's, uh, but this, like, I've never been to one before.

Didn't know what to expect. Sure. Um, and it's like, was it all inclusive, including the alcohol? Yeah. Did you have some margaritas? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Did your brothers go to in their families? Yep. Nice. Yeah. It was pretty. And then, you know, we only have one nephew. So he was, he got to do cannonballs in the pool all day long. All the time.

It was always a grown up to catch him. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, how old is he now? Five, six? Six. Yeah, it would be grade one. Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, that's about right. He, yeah, he did cannibals. He gets to eat as much of the. Oh, for many French fries, smoothies, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. Hamburger hot talk. Oh, my God, you have a nephew in Calgary. Yeah.

He's in grade one. What high school is you going to go to? That's a great question. I don't think I've never asked. What will he go to? But, yeah, it was, and so, yeah, all my family, including my, in-laws were there and it was oh nice yeah so we went for for this like a big family jamboree wait when you say your in-laws like Sally's parents sisters-in-law yeah I was like

Sally's parents went too wow I see what you mean yeah it was uh I mean they would have been most welcome to come what kind of lovely people did you were there was their activities did you do the activities or were you oh yeah so every day there was there was a good side uncle I was I was But my family was into the games They were all in Games? Yeah, there was games And there was like activities

You looked on the board every day And it was like, okay, today's got karaoke Today's got this When I hear activities I'm thinking And also I didn't hear activities I brought it up I was thinking like scuba diving Oh yeah

Snorkeling Swing whatever You could do all that stuff But this was just in the resort In the resort And there's two One there's this is very It seems very like

a cruise, but not on a boat. And it's like, there were two pools. There's one that's like family pool with kids and then one that's, uh, yeah, solo adulto or something like that. It was called for singles. Yeah. And, uh, it was, so one day there was the thing that was just called the crazy game. And how much Spanish did you speak other than solo adulta? Grasios, um, Cervisa.

Cervisa, Margarita. Margarita. Cervisa. non-glutino and and no no grassies no yeah

yeah there you go no mass okay you were I interrupted you were describing an activity crazy game which when you see the name could be anything

that's pretty normal to me I don't know about you I think you sing crazy game at karaoke don't you yeah oh yeah they could have had that but so there's this

there's this woman that she's in charge of all the fun activities. She's sort of the cruise director. Yeah, she's like the house emcee. Sounds like a job Lisa Tuttle would have. Yes. At the beach place.

Lisa Turtle? That's okay. That's fine. Oh, no, there was a Tuttle, wasn't there? Well, Mr. Tuttle was... Was Lisa Turtle, I was. Tata, Tuttle. What was that from?

Tata, Tuttle. Yeah. Wasn't that from... Was he on safe? Was he a teacher on saved by the bell? I just broke their brains, folks. The Lisa Turtle was, like, Voooo. Yes, that's who I meant.

Yeah. And that's, uh, so crazy game, if you're wondering, was that you had to swim to the far end of the pool. Then you had to do three sexy poses. Then you had to, uh, go to another side of the pool, do three pushups. Get back in the water and then shot or just down a beer. Oh. And, uh, and my brother, Dan, won. Oh, wow.

By a landslide. Representing. Yeah. He got, he got. He can. He knows his sexy poses. He does. Oh, man.

He was doing it. People were cheering. It was great. So it's just stuff like that. There was like a different entertainment every night. Nice. There was a circus juggling show. Oh, wow.

I got everything down there. Yeah. And like, you know, it was like blowing my nephew, mason to mine. Oh, for sure. He's never in his life. Yeah. And it's like, you know what? Juggling and like hula hooping and all this stuff, it's really entertaining.

Very impressive. When it's not in a park. Yes. Well, you're trying to. Read your buck. No one set up a slack line over the pool. Yeah. Doing a couple's yoga poses in the fucking park.

No one was doing spike ball. There was no spike ball. Except on sanctioned spike ball. Honestly, I think spike ball looks super fun. Yeah. Or I did before I saw people like would wear soccer cleats to play it. Yeah. No, and it's like a fun.

It's like a fun game. It's no running. That's already, that's a plus in my book. You could run a bit. You have to take steps, but you're not, like, running with it. It was a lot of volleyball, both on the sand and next in the pool. Of course, very fun. And it was, the place was lousy with Canadians.

There were so many Canadians there. It was just all you could do to not talk to a Canadian. Somebody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lots of, you know, saw a couple Rough Riders hats. Oh, sure. Yeah. Hey, I, so the Saskatchewan Rough Riders.

Yes. They just won the Grey Cup. Good for them. The 119th grade cup or something. Sure. Wow. Maybe 109th. And they, it's the biggest sport in Saskatchewan.

Everyone loves the Rough Riders there. How many times do you think they've won the Great Cup? That's a great question. I'm going to just go, like. Out of the 112 years, how many or whatever? Yeah. How many of they have been around for? I don't know.

Okay. I'm going to say, my whole life. 13. Five. Five, really? No. Huh. Not very.

good. And there's only five teams. Yeah. I think there's nine at the moment. Okay.

Sorry. To be a pedant on the internet. Now, Graham, I did notice you did a little

something with your hair while you were. This was the one thing that I wanted to purchase while I was there.

I don't have my eye on any souvenirs or anything. It's all about the experiences. Yeah. It's giving

experiences. So we went into town and had What town? Busarias. Where's that? It's a

half hour walked the hotel. Is it like what is the, like people go to a. Yeah. Yeah.

Where did you fly into? Oh, we were in Puerto Vire. Okay. But this was the closest town and they had a market, which was exactly what you would imagine, just stuff that kids want, basically, they want to

or shirts that, you know. Can you get one of those ponchos? Oh, yes. Yes, very much. Can you get a one tequila two, tequila, three tequila floor. Oh, man. There was, there, like, one that said, I'm shy, but my dick works.

Straight to the point, I guess. Well, we'll wait until we open our Christmas presents, but I know what I'm getting. But, yeah, we're at this. We're at the bar, and as we were at the bar, there was people came up to the kind of the patio and had selling jewelry. selling this and I assume the person who owned the bar was cool with a certain group of them

because he knew he knew of them all and this woman came by with a binder full of photos she did cornrows yeah oh okay and I was like I gotta do this corn rows are little tiny braids

yeah that's what I believe I believe they are yeah did you know it's a kind of braid did you know before you went that this is what you wanted to do I said on Day one. I'm going to get corneros.

Can't wait. And it was there. His dream of actually like a 12-year-old girl going to the Virgin Islands. Exactly. They're coming true. And or. Jamaica or whatever. Yeah, James Franco in that crazy movie where he's a crazy guy.

Yeah, where he's a frat. Nice. So he. I think we talk about that in a few years. Oh, good God. But, yeah, she had different styles. Oh, there's so many things you can do, right? I got very thin hair.

So I opted for like a young girl's style because. I feel like I couldn't take on the man's style would just be like one giant break. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you want to come in swinging your hair. Yeah, exactly. And it was very funny. The first thing you did, she was like,

okay, sit on this plastic chair, which was on the sand. And as I sat on it, it was like, zoom. It's used to like a 15 pound kid sitting on it. Little girl hair, little girl chair. Yeah, she probably had to lean down to do them because this is the height she had worked at.

What's chair in Spanish? Oh, Ocho. And she was so fast. Yeah, that's what I was wondering. Yeah, she was like lightning quick with it. You got some length, right? You're not. Yeah, I got something to work with.

And she did kind of like different shapes on my head of like the where the kind of not. Like a seor or so. It's just how they're imparted. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And so then I had them. And, oh, it took like five minutes or? Oh, yeah, like five, ten minutes. And did Sally do it at the same time?

Well, here's the thing. She got so jealous. She went home and slept on it. And she just looked like, and she went on a, like, Australian vacation, like, in, you know, university or where you go backpacking. And when they went there, her friend got cornrows, not ironically. Sure. She's been making fun of her ever since. She got some cornrows.

Did she do it? Aw, you two are so romantic. Did she do it the same day or did she wait? She waited. And by the time she started, my, mine were starting to fall out. Oh. But hers, whoa, man. She's got some nice texture to her hair.

Yeah, it was like shoe laces. It was so, yeah. How long did you have yours in? I guess two days. And then, yeah, they started. Two days is the greatest hair I've ever seen. Time to have, Cornrose. But yeah, it was fun.

And that's the thing I never got She still has hers To this day She was mortified That she had to get on the plate She was wearing hood the whole time Oh she did be more than back to Canada

Wasn't enough time to take him out So Man please take your Hood off We're going through customs right now I don't want to I'm not gonna Lock me up

And hers Mine just had elastics Hers had beads Nice It's a real Monica situation When she goes to Where do they go Hawaii or something Yeah, Jamaica.

Jamaica, maybe, yeah. But the whole resort, boy, do they know, like, just the things that you want, like the, the van to the hotel. Oh, they got hospitality down. Yeah, he's like, who wants to do a shot of tequila and handed a bunch of chocolate glasses to everybody? Well, I'll drink tequila. And you're like, oh, no, I have a meeting later. Once you go to other parts of the world, you start realizing how with the bare minimum we have to deal with here. And in Europe, like service in Europe and North America sucks.

But you go to Asia, you go to Mexico. You know, Africa, like, they'll show you good time. I remember in Switzerland the last time we went, the machine wouldn't take my credit card. And the woman was so mean to me. Yes. Oh, yeah. Super Euro. I didn't, like, carve this card.

Got a legitimate bank on it. Yes, I'm actually trying to pay for something. I'm not being a dick about it. Oh, yeah. There was a C-IBC bank machine in the lobby. Well, on our honeymoon in the Caribbean, there was World Bank. Really? I guess if you have enough people coming from that country. Yeah. But, like, I never got used to the translation between American money and pesos. Oh, sure.

So, like, the, the break costs. Is everything in U.S. dollars? Or do they have, like, the U.S. dollars? Or it's just everything in Pesos? No, it's very confusing because it's pesos. They'll take American dollars. A lot of people will take them because they're worth more. But if you, like, I went to the convenience store and they rang up, like, I bought like a chocolate bar and, like, a soda. the first thing was $76. I was like, your machine's broken. That's $76. The guy was like, Pesos. I was like,

oh, yes. Right, right, right. So, yeah, I got those done, and it was fun, and then, yeah. Was that your gift to your mother?

She was the one who organized the whole thing. I love it. No, but were the cornros? Oh, the cornrows, no,

that was self-fired. She raised you. I know she's in for it. I know she's not going to be like, totally put out. She's not going to disown you. Yeah. I know,

Trish. Yeah. Your brother have short or no hair, right? Yeah. If any of her son's going to get, Bray, it's going to be you. Yeah. And you know what?

They couldn't do the beard? Was there talk of it? There was talk, but I was like, I'm not going to be able to get those out. I'll have to shape them out. Yeah. But yeah, the, my brother Patrick, he went to Turkey. Did he get life insurance?

Yeah. I think I told this story about him going to Turkey. Anyways, it was fun. It was more fun than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was, and it was like relaxing. But, man. Oh, man, do you accidentally drink way, way more than you would drink in your real life? Accidentally.

Yeah, because you're just like, okay, I'll get another drink. It's two in the afternoon. Let's get ripped. Yeah. And yeah, they're watered down, but you're having nine. Yeah. And they do. Yeah, because they have like, you can get these, a lot of time they have like,

you can have these five drinks included in the all-inclusive. Or if you want to pay for more expensive stuff, you can pay whatever else, right? You just get, remember this on our honeymoon and they just gave you like, margaritas or whatever, and then you're super watered down. But, yeah, you have 10. Well, let me tell you, these were not watered down. Like, oh, I watched, there was one kind of doing, like, basically a gin and soda, and he was doing a one-to-one ratio into the class.

I was like, wow, wow. So they got that American pour down. Nice. What were you saying were your brother in Turkey? Oh, that, because Patrick has short hair, like, and kind of, he's balding, like the rest of us. And he went to Turkey, and everybody. He was telling about it. Yeah.

Hey, you're going for her. Oh, I see. He's like, fuck, you. Maybe in a future episode. Oh, boy. The time, warp is vortex is weird. But I can tell you for sure, like, going to a resort, especially with kids, it's a blast. Yeah.

Yeah. They get their own freaking pool, you know? Yes. And, oh, it's all piss. Oops, all piss. Go piss, girl. Yeah. So, you know.

What if I are out of the Crystal Hotel? That's Crystal with a K. Okay, we'll check it out a lot. Now, it's that time of year. Oh, yeah. Oh, do I hear? What do I hear up on the rooftop? Somebody smoking a pipe on the lawn.

Uh-huh. And Sandy's got his little cherry ding out. Ding. Ding dong. Ding dong. Carol of the balls. And here we go. We're having a lot of horny fun.

Oh, absolutely. Oh. this is a listeners if you're new to the show every year on our last episode before Christmas Graham and I do a secret Santa gift exchange yeah and this year I picked well I'll be honest it was you this is shocking because you'll never guess what mine was you wow yeah um yeah and I uh I have a gift that I've had at my house almost for a year same I have maybe 11 and a half months. I like, I bought this for sure in February and it's just been like,

this is something we talked about a lot about a year ago and I ordered it on eBay. Well, mine is, it just was something that I was like, David would think this is funny. Okay. Yeah. Do you want to trade? You want to exchange? Yeah. Do we open?

Well, I'll go first and then you go second. Okay. I'll open first. Oh, you'll open first. Yeah. And Abby has something for you too. It's true. I have something for the family.

family to it. Oh, my goodness. I'll keep that card on the side. There you go. It's a gift bag with a tissue paper in that. A poofy poofs. And it's a hat. It's a hat.

Oh. Isn't that the funniest? That's a cool hat. Yeah. It's a. The nanny. Oh, my God, but New York Yankee. Or whatever mats.

Yeah. That's super cool because she was working in a barbershop and fucking queen. They knew what they were doing. That's an awesome little hat. That is so cool. It's from a site called

Poor taste but excellent execution. Yes. Agreed. The font is perfect. Yeah. And it made me laugh so hard when I saw it. I got to get this today.

Well, Joe Mandy did those ones during the pandemic. He did a whole, but he did the same idea. He learned embroidery. He taught himself embroidery and it was kind of like shitty on purpose.

purpose whereas this is like obviously like this is the exact font of the logo of the nanny and it looks so good oh wow that's amazing and uh oh this is all wrapped up this is from abby this is for me i saw it and i just had to make it happen one of those let me see let me see opening it yes it's got little penguin stickers on it beautifully wrapped yes there you I see the word tour This is a kiss shirt featuring the Canadian flag

They've got them draped over their shoulders One nation they say This is amazing You're a kiss to press on the back It's the freedom The freedom to rock tour This is amazing Thank you so much

You're very welcome Next time I come over I'll be wearing it And then in here, there's a couple more things. Oh, a couple of little things in there. Okay. What do you want to do first? I'll do one of the things and then I'll give Abby the-

Sure. Sounds good. Where did you find this? This is on eBay. This is from July 2001. The Rosie O'Donnell magazine. And it says, staff is no laugh. It's when she had a staff infection.

Her whole hand is based. This is her on the cover with her hands. Where did you get this? I found it on eBay. I love it. I love it. Just put there on the coffee table. Exactly.

This is the new coffee table magazine for whenever people come over. And it's also got like, you know, Kelly Clarkson ad on the back. It was a Faith Hill on the back. It was a faith hill. I thought it was Kelly Clarks. And I only saw it upside down. They had, they had an interview with Patrick Wilson, who I didn't realize was around 22 years ago. Wow.

And he's had that receding hairline the whole time. Yeah. And he's saying, getting naked on stage is easier than you think. At first it's scary. Now it's a non-issue. Huh. Yeah. Well, I think they interviewed someone, the people from Survivor, who wished they had brought

other things. Are there pages cut out of it? I don't know. That looks like someone's done some scrap. Oh, this is for, you can mail away for Zyrtec. Oh, okay. Oh, gotcha. Remember magazines?

Remember mail order coupons and magazines? Magazines were so frustrating in Canada because you'd get those things and you'd be like, well, I can't. Check this out. Dennis Leary gets serious. Oh, on a fire truck. He's doing a rescue me. Oh, well, this is amazing.

This is amazing. Thank you so much. Enjoy. And then mine isn't great for the family, but you can. Let's see. It's a little red envelope. It's season one of Young Sheldon. Hold it up to the mic.

Here we go. Do a little car neck. Oh, my goodness. It's a Halloween card. Yep. who saved it from Halloween Good for these exciting products Maple barbecue chicken and bacon stacked

loaded maple fries, blueberry cheesecake frape, marshmallow cold brew and nacho flat bread, Merry Christmas! Tim Horton's gift card! Well, thank you. Yay! Yeah, I went through their most recent menu and I was like, these are hilarious. There are some selections.

Yeah, they do really knock it out of the park with their hot food. Blueberry cheesecake bread. Oh, cool, a co-ciss sticker with Kelvin from Kelvin O'Hop's pissing. Yeah. It's a cold. Will Sally let me put this on the car? Mm-hmm.

We'll see, we'll see. Yeah, otherwise, it's cool to have around. And we just have one other thing. Oh, what's this? Oh, it's sticking around the bottom of the bag. It's interesting. There were some, what do you call those? There's some Secret Santa Christmas coupons 2025.

Oh, okay. Do you think I should go through them? Yeah, let's right. You know what? Just read a few. And by the way, take your time. Okay. This is my favorite because this is why Abby can be here.

And she gets to hear all that what has Dave been working on. Yes. All those hours. I really should not put it off until the last minute. But when you like shit a bunch out at once, that's where you get the real crazy ones. There are a couple good crazy ones. These, this brand of hat is my favorite or whatever, 1 a.m. 47?

Yeah, 47. It's my favorite president. Yeah. That's what somebody. said, is it related to Donald Trump? And I was like, I don't think so. But I don't know who they are, but they make every cool hat. Very cool.

It's got the dad hat, you know, locked down. The shallow. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you just flop on your head. Nice. I don't need that. You know hats. That, uh, start. You don't need the full coverage. Exactly. You can do it like that. I don't like, do I tuck my ears in or do I let them, you know,

like sometimes they come down so low? What kind of hats do you wear? Baseball hat? Yeah. I have a big brimmed hat I wear in the rain Like a big wool brimmed hat Yeah you've got a baseball hat This looks great on you

It says What's their face? Oh my father My father My husband got me from Mother's Day A executive producer Dick Wolf Hat Yeah beautiful

And then when Were you showing me one Like a couple weeks ago There was like a speed stick Hat Oh I bought Dave's got some cursed items I bought a weird

Corderooy New Jersey Devil's Speedstick hat It's Emerald Corderoy And the two logos are not centered. It's very weird. They're just like side by side on the front and they don't make sense. Probably from the 90s.

Yeah. So funny. Okay. Well, first off of the jump here, good for one back rub. Don't think I won't be changing that in. I'll tell you what. These shoulders? Come on.

And my magic hands. Yeah, that's right. You keep one in a glove with Vaseline all year. Oh, yeah. This good for one. rub okay who's a good boy valid for one romantic carriage ride and good news it's the horses

last day before retirement what could go wrong oh somebody posted like Danny Glover was this age when he was too old for that shit 41 was younger than us yeah uh huh was he about to retire yeah he was like this is going to be

One month away or something. I'm too old for this, yeah. And I just kept doing that for years. Well, it was profitable. Oh, that's one of the things I did, too, was watch movies that have been dubbed over with Spanish. Oh, sure. That lethal weapon was one of the ones that I watched. Nice.

That's fun. And it was a call one that I couldn't tell you what it was called. But he was bad at martial arts even way back then. Yeah, in Spanish it was called El Ombray Del Ponytail. Uh-huh. Present this coupon and I'll do the dishes, except I don't live here, so I don't know where any of these dishes go. You'll be finding shrimp forks in your underwear drawer for months. Babaloo.

Well, the months, babaloo. These are hard to read the first time. And you know what, that babaloo, if you don't know, a shout out to pre-crazy, Dennis Miller. Oh, yes. Read 9-11, Dennis Miller. Babeloo. Babeloo. Present this coupon and I'll design a signature cocktail based on you.

one part piss two parts shit three parts fuck what do you want for me and I expect the big pores on that yeah the American pores watered down shit don't give me that watered out shit yeah man I tell you guys you'll just it'll be a record setting amount of alcohol you will

ingest if you go to a I mean a runofflusive West Jet West Jet Jets got plan. Oh, you did it all through them. All through them. Wesh have vacations.

I can't afford that candle. It smells like Winneth Paltrow's vagina. But this coupon is good for a car air freshener that smells like Wilmerville-Daramas. Scrotum. That's probably pretty good. He's a podcaster now? Oh, is he? Yeah.

I'd listen to his podcast. It's about someone. I forget who. Maybe it's about Desi Arnaz. I just get ads for it. It's not about Danny Masterson, is it? Oh, you wish. It's not about Lindsay Lohan, is it?

Oh, did he spend time with Lindsay Lohan? Yeah, when she was underage. No, no, right when she turned 18, they started dating. Yeah, it's worked out that way. He was like 27. It was weird. He's still actually known for his grooming. Oh, sure.

He's got a very sharp hair cut. I know, like, the last time I ever saw him was in the LMFAO video that he makes, like, a cameo appearance in. He's in one of these procedural TV shows, like Hawaii 5O, FBI International or one of those. FBI International. I like this out of that. I can't. Oh, yeah.

Sorry, that was the Lovamler out of scrotum. That last one wasn't real. What? Why? What the fuck. He's such a rascal. It was actually AI. You believed it.

Time to start planning your funeral. You old bitch. Ah, you are so cooked. You are. I am. Do you ever believe any of these AI? Uh, yeah, I believe that one with, um, raccoons going into a vending machine. Oh, yeah.

Oh. One that's wiggled in, which I was like, that seems like it could be real. The AI things to be fooled by that's, yeah, have you guys? All right. I've never been fooled. I mean, uh, like the first few seconds and then you're like, oh, wait a minute, these are, this dog is walking on. It's like putting its hand in its pocket. Yeah, it has three legs and then five legs.

Yeah. It's got to get better. It's going to get to the point where we can't. We can't under, we can't know, you know? Can it just like cure cancer though? Yeah, can we just have, like I really do feel like that's the Trojan horse where it's like cancer, we're going to cure cancer, but also. But in the meantime, Will Smith eating spaghetti. Check it out.

And the Great Lakes are drying up because we're using on the water. Yeah. I wonder if this is, I wonder if AI is going to be like the goo of the glasses that they tried to get everybody wearing. Like, is it something that nobody actually wants? But the companies are pushing it forward. Pivot to video. Pivot to AI. Yeah.

Trust us. Yes, exactly. Everybody's pivoting to video. You sound like Ross from friends trying to move a couch. You got that Bubaloo. Good for one session of amateur psychiatry with me as your therapist. Now tell me, how late did you breastfeed? If it was after midnight, you might be a criminal.

That wasn't my favorite. That's really good. And you know what? Christmas movie, right? Yeah, 100%. Oh, sure. 100%. I've not seen it, but maybe this year.

I don't know. I'm going to be able to pronounce this right. Ar, gnar, this coupon made you Australian. Nailed it. Niled it. Wasn't it? Adam Payman had a bit about an Australian getting on the rare wrong ferry to go to a

different island. Oh, sure. It is just, oh, no, not Nanaimo. Arr, gnar, not Narn, not, no, narm, R. Nart. Yeah, not Nair, R and R.

Present this coupon, and I'll give you the antidote. Wait, the antidote for what? For that poison you didn't know you swallowed. It was in the crab dip, you imbecile. And why was I eating it? Yeah, sometimes I just, you know, right?

It doesn't have to be reality. I need to kind of just, like, to the end of the coupon. For the good for the old Scarecrow special getting some brain from a guy

hiding behind a curtain getting some brain that's my favorite. That's pretty good. Is that a famous thing? If not, I'm pretty proud of that one. Yeah.

I think it gets it. It was great. Present this coupon and I'll let you reenact a scene from that horn. Horny Hockey Show, MVP, most valuable by it. That's, I assume, the horny hockey show everyone's been talking about. Yeah, I don't know.

I haven't checked it out, but apparently the guy has an amazing butt. Oh, good. Well, you know. I've heard good things from all the women, I know. Skating does that to you. I've heard zero feedback from men and all the women love it. Present this coupon, and I'll go on Shark Tank with you and back you up while you present your business idea.

Hey, sharks. We've all had frozen yogurt. It's okay, I guess. But I think it would be even better. We went the opposite way. That's why it came up with scalding yogurt. We put the hot in probiotic. Probiotic.

I'm looking for $100 billion for a 1% shake. Graham's got your back. Yeah. No, I've got his back. You've got my back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not going on Shark Day. Graham's idea.

Whenever they show on Dragon's Den, like the clip, kind of clip 15 minutes of everybody's horrible pitches. Oh, yeah. Just like, any time I've ever brushed with the reality show, I was like, I could end up in that. I could end up in that. Yeah, I could be the idiot. I find it such a turnoff when I find a product is from Stark Tank.

Just knowing that the person who created this had to do like a high-energy pitch is such a bummer to me. Yeah, and like, um, like past guests, didn't Peter Oldring go on Dragon's Dron or was it? Yeah, he did. We did a fake one, didn't he? Yeah. And it was something to, was a snowball cooler or something like that?

I forget. Um, they're full of wacky ideas. They are. Squawks, squant, squants. Hey, Saxman, present this coupon to protect as your omissure on D's nuts. But it should have been like Swank, Swank, Swon, Swon. Well, I mean, it's all...

It's a cold read. Yeah. Only a couple more, I think. Present this coupon, and I'll help you fulfill your New Year's resolution to kill God. How did you know? I haven't made them yet. No, it's from last year. Oh, right.

Use this coupon as you're turning a game of Dungeons and Dragons. You're a level 12 dragon born armed with an enchanted bow and arrow. You roll of five. You get your period to front of the whole school. die of embarrassment. And that's amazing. Thank you very much, Day, for all the gifts. Merry Christmas to everyone.

And I think nothing would make me feel more holly jolly than some overheard. Hell yeah. Oh. If you like too many podcasts, you'll love Soundheap with John Lick Roberts. It's got clips from all your favorite podcasts such as Diary of a Time. tiny CEO. Lynette Sprague, tell me how you make your money. I go to the beach and I steal people's towels.

Remember Armour? Remember the trend of everyone whacking themselves on their head with hammers and mallets when they wanted to lose weight? And Elty Jom's Lobbly Songs. I'm here today with Kiki Dee. Hello, Kiki D. Hello, Elton. There's dozens of episodes to catch up on and brand new episodes going out right now.

So, if you want far, far, far too many podcasts, then look for sound. heap on maximum fun. Boop, boop. All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show. Let's learn everything. So let's do a quick progress tech. Have we learned about quantum physics? Yes, episode 59.

We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we? Yes, we have. Same episode, actually. Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters? Episode 64. So how close are we to learning everything? Bad news. We still haven't learned everything yet.

We're ruined! No, no, no, it's good news as well. There is still a lot to learn. Woo! I'm Dr. Ella Hubber. I'm regular Tom Lum. I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too.

And although we haven't learned everything yet, I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode. Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. Overheard. It's, you know what? It's the brightest, best time to do overheards. There's magic in the air. There's kind of a chill and, you know, deck in the halls, et cetera, et cetera.

And it's our way of giving back to you. You send in an overheard to us, and we may read yours, but we also have our own. And we always love to start with the guest, Abby, could you leave the charge? Sure. My overhead is not Christmas related. But I was at a fabric store, and they have fabric rolled onto, big, like, cardboard tubes, right? Like, it's, like, a big bolt or a big roll.

Yeah. Well, bolt is technically, like, a flat piece of cardboard, but whatever. Okay, well, you're the... There's a roll. And they're laying... Internet pedant. They're on... They're horizontally on shelves.

Okay. And you pull them out to look at them, and then you take them and they get cut, how much you want. And there was two, it looked like, uh, like design school people, people in the 20s. And one person pulls out a piece, a tube of fabric, a roll of it and pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls and And they say, well, that's longer than I thought it was going to be. And then the other one says, that's what she said. Nice.

And then we all laughed. That's never the case, is it? No. But it is satisfying to land one of those out in the wool aisle. Yes. And I just happen to be standing in the right place looking at the right piece of fabric. Beautiful. You know what videos I like is people, there's like these sort of like paint bottles

and someone sticks a pin in the little hole and pulls out a bunch of dried. And it's always longer than you think it'll be. Wow. I'm right now I'm like, I'll go for anything that's, this is how we film something for a commercial. Yeah. I was watching one yesterday about how they film a Coke commercial. It looks like Coke's. Oh, with the ice and the condensation on the glass.

I love that stuff. Yeah. They throw a bunch of burger ingredients together. Yes. Yeah. Oh, that kind of like the way they would do it for TV, like a TV story about that kind of stuff. Yeah. Would, like, on and on, like, evening magazine.

Yes. Yeah. Well, what you think is ice cream is actually. Mashed potatoes or whatever. The pizza was some sort of, like, household rubber product. Okay. Yeah, it's just like stalking or whatever, sure. Did you, we were talking last week about the, I think it was a U-Ban coffee, had, they would tear open a bag of, like a burlapsack and a bunch of coffee beans with port.

out. Yeah. I was thinking about that. But I think I got confused because what I was really thinking about was that Nabob commercial where the smack and split them. Yeah, the guy's got the big long stick. And this table is just covered with two inches of beans or something. With beans.

Right. And he puts the yardstick down. Oh, yeah. And he moves it away. Yeah. If you took all the beans, if this is all the coffee beans in the world, the ones that are unripe, we take them away. It's very.

I remember those during Donahue. It's very. Yeah. I'm like watching Donahue. with my mom and that would be I don't know why I'm like

my brain and those two things are together yeah it's very ASMR that I didn't know who's the Mexican guy

um I don't know that he was Mexican but Juan Valdez yeah yeah um he's still around

yeah he's going he's wandering the mountains I think when we went to Colombia they had like he had his own or like

I don't know if he's a real guy sure I think he's been he's uh hanging out with Bill Cosby OJ Simpson and Jared

yeah um the big three I was thinking, like, Johnny Applese, Paul Bunyan, like an imaginary character, not a sex pest. No, I think he's more of a, like a... Sex Pest is such a funny. I think he's an imaginary character. Okay.

But they do have, like, coffee shops that are Juan Veld is. All right, there you go. Years ago, and I worked with a company that made ads. If you see ever, like, kids' hands playing with the action figure. Yeah? That's always, it's a woman's hand that has small hands. Oh, interesting. There's a kid, they can't trust the kids.

Exactly. They'll shoot the kids and that. The kids are going to be like, no, I just want to play with it. That's not how you play with it. I want to actually play with it. I'm going to make them fuck. With their trucks. You just got to find that exhaust.

Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I took the kids this weekend to go see Zootopia 2. To Zootopia 2. To Zootopia Toe. and um I love the first one I thought it was great It was pretty fun

It was good And this is The new one's good too Yeah They're cops And they're on the case They're both cops now Yeah they're both cops now

So he used to be a criminal But now he's a cop Yeah I mean eventually we all become cops Eventually we all become criminals Oh yeah That's the In the modern

Fascist Oppressive state We all become criminals It's true Yeah Well said Well said So there was this very

annoying birthday party of kids there. Oh, God. And so we got there and we had saved our seats or like picked our seats online. But there was a whole row of these kids and they were talking the whole time. There were maybe six or seven.

Oh, that's what you did there. My nephew, six, seven us and it was, he thought it was the best thing in the world. Nice. He got you good. So at the very beginning, one kid was reacting to everything on screen. It was like, oh. And then I heard him, like, kind of work up something with the other kids.

Hey, at the end, let's all yell six, seven. And then the, it was hard to decide when the end happened because there's sort of like, credits don't roll. As soon as it's over, you're seeing another little animated thing. Yeah. And then I hear them go, three, two, one, six, seven. And there's like ten kids saying it. And then, afterwards, uh,

The kids, my kids went to the bathroom and this birthday party, your kids came out after us and they were all, some were going to the bathroom, some weren't. But outside of the bathroom was one of those boxes where you all return your 3D glasses. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

And the parents, these kids were so annoying. And the parents were completely ignoring them that two or three of the kids picked up the box, like tried to lift up the box of 3D glasses. Yes. And the bottom of the box broke. Out. Oh, my God. Greenie glasses flooded all over the ground.

Oh, no. And then the kids just started stomping them, like trying to break. I broke one. I'm going to break this other one. Wow. Until one would break, they would just keep stomping it. And parents doing nothing. The shock on my jaw, I hit the floor.

And I was like, do I do anything? No. No. These aren't your kids. Not my kids. Not my kids. Not your glasses. Not my zoo, et cetera.

Not my glasses. The movie theater that you went to, did they have like the room. for birthday party? Yeah. So I saw one birthday party in there once and it seemed like a Is it the one that,

down by the river? Down by the river. Yeah. Near the van. Yep. I always want to call it Riverport, but it's called Marine Gateway

because, but Riverport is the name of a movie theater in Richmond. Oh yeah. But what is marine if not a river and what is a port if not a gateway?

Excellent. We port on the driveway and we drive on the gateway Well, that's great. And do you have one? I do. And I have one. Is it from Mexico?

It's from Mexico. Oh, is it a Canadian? No, but they had so many, like, Canada and Mexico are not for sale. Oh, sure. You know, the Mexican flag and the Canadian flag. Yeah, together. Together. And Gene Simmons is holding one and Paul Stanley's holding the other.

Yeah, exactly. And we went past a stall. I mean, they're hard. The whole time you're there, take a look at this, come in here, and you have to be like, no, no, graces, no, graces. Uh-huh. And then... This is in town?

This is, yeah, this is in town. And, you know, Mason, my nephew, he was the target. Yeah. He was everybody's trying to get to the grown-ups, right? Yeah. And he showed, it was kind of like, it was a top, it was spinning top, that you had kind of a rig to spin it. Yeah. Bay blade style.

Yeah. And it spun so long. and then he obviously made the sale and I was like oh yeah I said to the guy I was like oh he's gonna love that the guy went to me

child cries parent buys what a mastermind I was like wow this guy knows what he's doing in another language right do you know any English

just this one phrase and it's perfect it served me well that is That reminds me of Sean Devlin's story about being in Barcelona and someone's selling them this sort of like minion balloon or something, yes. And he thought it was the coolest thing and realized he bought absolute junk that was like less than a thing. Yeah, it was, and it worked. Hey, man.

Yeah, it works. He's got that top. He went crazy with it. When he wasn't cannonballing, he was playing with the top. There you go. Now, we also have overheard sent into us by all sorts of holly jolly creatures out there. Now vixen. Yeah, exactly.

You should be vaxen. Are we all vaccine? I'm anti-vaccine. If you want to send one in, you can send in to SBI at the maximum fun.org. This first one comes from Kirsten. This is, I thought Graham would appreciate this one, being another gluten-free, not-by-choice person. I asked if I could order two Cheeseburger patties

without the bun at Harvey's and the cashier said Are those for a person Or a dog? I mean Legitimate question But also Are there people gluten free by choice ever

I guess keto people? Yeah And I feel like there was a time That people did it as a weight lossy thing Yeah For sure What do you, Atkins? Yeah

Low carb diets Yeah We found out right that acted, that was bad for us? Oh, for sure. Uh-huh. It's not sustainable. Yeah, I think, I mean, I don't know.

I'm not the right guy to ask, but I think everything in moderation, including moderation. Yes, yes. I know even in dogs, they say that if you have your dog on a grain-free diet, that they end up with, like, heart problems later on. Really? There's something. I have my dog on a brain-free. Yeah. It's working out for her.

Yeah, that's the way of it. Yeah, it's working out. I don't give them the old scarecrow, I'll tell you that much. Do you guys watch Maxine, the sequel to? I didn't watch any of them. It's a great scene with a scarecrow. I won't spoil it, but it's amazing. Saw her in Toronto Airport once, it's true.

She's actually her as Pearl screaming, I'm a star, is on the top of our Christmas tree at work. And J. Thomas is going to come and throw a football at it. He's going to throw a meatball at it. This next one comes from Brittany, from Downingtown, Pennsylvania. I was at the library and a woman came in with two kids. They stopped at the place to return books and started to drop them in. I heard the kids say, yeat.

And then the mom say, don't, don't yeat, don't eat. Then don't put your body down there. No, eat. We talked about this. This has come up before. I had to look up eat And it's like throw Yeah

You can eat yourself You can eat a thing Yeah You can not alive yourself You can not alive your family You guys must know so much Oh my God Kid slang

Yeah Yeah It just comes up naturally You don't have to hunt for it all Well our kids seem to use it ironically Yeah I feel like Are these our particular children

She says like One of our kids is like All of the boys say six seven All of the time Yeah Yeah But is that a question equivalent to us saying six nine all the years that we grew up no it's six nine is a thing six seven is

nonsense it's not and so is skibbitty toilet it's sort of the equivalent of us saying like buya or bazinga bazainga or cowapunga boiakasha oh cowbanga hope that comes back around like the mullet um this last one comes from chris from victoria bc i was in a local coffee shop in Victoria during the Riftlandia music festival. The customer ahead of me was telling the barista that she's excited to see Feist play later that day. The barista then turned around to her co-work and said, I actually made a latte for Fice yesterday.

The other barista said, regular milk. And when she got the first one responded, yes, they gave each other a high five. Wow. Interesting. So Fyst. Fice full dairy. Our dairy queen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Let's just have an abbey on every week. We love Feist, don't we folks? Do you remember what high school she went to in Calgary? I remember this because one of the few Calgary celebrities I remember. Oh. What kind of music does she make? Folk music. Rock.

You're not wrong. It's, but there's no high school called folk. High School. Yeah. It's a very big umbrella. Indy rock. Sort of close to indie. Oh.

A radio station that plays her would be this kind of radio station. Nope. Western. No. Is it Western? That is definitely. That is a school. Yeah.

I believe the answer was alternative high school. Oh, alternative high school. She was Alt in the 90s. Yeah. Was she in the 90s? Do we get to know? No, but she was in high school in the 90s? Oh, she was in high school.

Oh, my God. I'm assuming. She's not that much older than us, is she? Twice call and tell us when you are. Now we need to know when everyone went to their Calgary High School. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1.844-779-7631. That's one.

Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hi, Graham, Dave, and probable guest. This is Jeff from Madison, Wisconsin, sending in an overheard. About two months ago, I was waiting in an operating room for my vasectomy procedure and for my doctor to arrive. I'm getting a little nervous and worked up like you do when you're waiting alone for an operation like that. Then outside of the room, I heard two voices talking. Couldn't quite make out what they were saying until the very end when one of them clapped his hands and said, all right, let's get her done.

And just as he said that, I realized that voice belonged to my doctor who strolled in to get her done. so just the kind of confidence you want to hear someone project right before they start cutting into you nice anyway love the show guys thanks so much off i go um was it larry the vasectomy yeah have you ever heard chris locke's bit about getting his vasectomy no uh he said it's great he says while the doctor was doing it his stomach rumbled and he was just like what the fuck man are you thinking of a ham sandwich instead of like probably yeah just the guys Tommy grumbling while he was doing it. I bet they have a lot of fun over there.

Oh, yeah. Here's your next one. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Lindsay from Philadelphia with an overheard. I was getting my haircut today. And while I was sitting in the chair, I heard a guy from across the room trying to explain to a stylist what he wanted. And he said, I want to look like a lesbian who plays guitar.

Does that make sense? And after a beat, his stylist said, I'm going to need more from you. Anyway, I thought that was pretty funny. Off I go. Blah Blah Blah Blah. Yeah. Well, are you a Joan Jett lesbian?

Are you a Melissa Etheridge lesbian? Are you a Tegan and Sarah lesbian? They got great haircuts. They each got a great haircut. Econic haircuts from Tegan and Sarah. Yeah, mop tops. Yeah. Real shaggy moptop.

Rocker do. I mean, they've gone through phases. Currently, Moppy. Yeah. But very angular before. Who else? Who else? I know, Lita Ford was one for when I was a...

Oh, sure. She's like a little... She was a... I think so. But maybe not. Well, it's not out anyone we can't confirm. That's right. Can't confirm.

Anyway, we love all lesbians and their haircuts and their guitars. Rock on. Yeah, but maybe just bring in a picture next time. Yeah. And don't make your... Just think of one lesbian. guitarist. Even if it's a person you're known in real life. Yeah. Don't make your stylist sort of like

make that, take that journey. If I was the hairdresser, I'd be like, are you a lesbian plays guitar? Yeah. Like, is you looking for something for you? Or is this more aspirational. Yeah. Like, maybe you've just come out as a guitar player. Yeah. Are you a bisexual ukulele player? Yeah, you're trying to make a move. Yeah. And finally.

Hi, Dave Graham and Pustle guest. This is Liz calling from Ottawa. And my local buy nothing Facebook group people can request items that they're looking for to see if anyone's looking to get rid of that thing. Today I saw

one that reads, Hi, Neighbors, trying one last time to ask for gently use tarot cards and tarot books to send a marginalized women, please. No fucking way. Hey man, you know what? Your heart's in the right place, I guess.

Oh, for sure. And there's people out there that can't afford tarot cards. You're not supposed to buy your own deck. That's right. Is that right? Yeah. As far as I understand. Speaking of cards, you could go play blackjack in the pool at this.

Nice. Was it gambling? Blackjack bar. Oh, really? Like not for anybody. You got chips. Oh, great. That's fun?

Yeah, the guy who was doing it was amazing. He was like a Vegas style. Nice. Was he a dealer tainer? He was a dealer. Absolutely. He was making fun of people. It was great.

Back to, I joined a, like, a buy nothing group from my neighborhood. And I left after about a day because it was too much. So many posts, and they mean by nothing. They're like, I have a zucchini left if anyone wants it. Yeah. Some did it's like, oh, I have leftover tile, but it's enough for, you know, a bathroom or something. Sometimes it's like, I made too many pancakes. Anybody wants some pancakes?

You know, I can guess. I guess so they're cold now and sweaty. There was a post on Facebook marketplace. Sweaty stack of pancakes. No thanks. And it was a guy advertising a leather jacket. He had photographed himself in the mirror, and then he cropped out his whole head. So it just looked like it was a headless guy.

Like he didn't put something over the head. Oh, boy. Everybody on Facebook, we wish you well. Yeah, Merry Christmas to the Facebook people. Yeah. Some of our finest. People, people on threads. You can't make me

No, threads, you're out I stupidly clicked on one thing today And I was like, I'm fucking threads There is a thread you might be understood in though Yeah? Is it your dick? Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry It's not going to get any better than that You have not shown much interested in that

Well, from all of us here, to all of you there. Happy holidays and come on back next week for another episode. Stop podcast with yourself. of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.