Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 928 - The Listeners

Episode Date: December 30, 2025

We say goodbye to 2025 with our most romantic call-in episode ever, featuring our listeners and their questions, riddles, and a proposal! Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host. Stop podcasting yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode number 9.28 of Stop Podcasting yourself. My name's Graham Clark.

And with me, as always, is a man who, well, he's. the reason for the season, as far as I'm concerned, Mr. Dave Shumka. And, of course, this episode comes out between Christmas and New Year's, and Graham, did you get, did the big man in red give you everything you wanted? He did. He gave me all sorts of nice things and Batman's head on a platter. Oh, he gave you that. Yeah, he gave you that. You're, you're a villain. Wow, yeah. I mean, the Joker. I had a Secret Santa with the Joker. Oh, okay. Did Santa Claude, fulfill your fantasies? Yes.

Yeah, he was very... You fulfill my fantasies. Baby, boy, you're my... Santa Claus, you stay on my mind. Fulfill my fantasies. How is Santa in your... Oh, he left a mess. Oh, shit.

Not a cat. He really kind of tied one on. I think because we're sort of near the end of the globe. Yeah, yeah. So he kind of, like, I think he starts at Vanuatu, and then he's like so on the ball. So he's just like, some houses have to be bathroom houses. Yeah, by the time you get through Europe and North America, like, we're just at the very end. I guess South America, some of them get visits as well.

Oh, sure. Do you think there's any, do you think, like, people who are stationed in Antarctica, do they get a visit? Or is it just like? Yeah, yeah. Oh, everybody gets a visit. Yeah, as long as they're not in the North Pole. because Santa's very territorial. That's right.

And that's where he workshops all of his good stuff. When you were a kid, did you think, I only remember this like a week ago, like, you know, you see Santa's elves making a wooden duck or whatever. You see them. You see them in movies portrayed. They're making wooden toys and jack in the boxes. And then I was like, when I was a kid, like, did the elves have to manufacture Game Boys? Like, do they have to solder things together?

Absolutely, a, what do you call that when you, suspend your disbelief? It was a thing that, like, well, I kind of want to believe that the elves are making this, and they've got some system, and it, honestly, it works. Whatever the system is. Because, like, up until probably the 60s, they probably had a pretty easy time making toys. And then, you know, home computers came along. Yeah, in the movie elf, he's like, pouring sand into an etch sketch,

which feels like a very modern thing for an elf to be making, but not a very modern toy for a child. Not at all. To kids, I guess kids will play with anything they're given as long as there's nothing else in the room. Yeah, like they'll play with the best thing available. Yeah. And so if an etch of sketch is the thing.

Or if they haven't realized that it's not. Because it looks like an iPad. It does. And it's, you know, Anyway, you know what? We're out of time for this. No, that's, we're out of time.

I'm sorry, everybody. Well, happy New Year. Many he returns. Get used to a grave because this is the episode where we get to, we talk to about 15 listeners. And they each get five minutes with us. Oh, there's four waiting for us right now. And you know what? They're on borrowed time.

So they got to make it snappy. All right. We've got to move through these callers like no one's business. Listeners, let's get going. Our first listener is, well, their name is Sam. Samuel and I just can't wait to see their pretty face. Right now is on mute and we've got no video. We've got no video and no audio.

Oh, okay. Hello. Oh. It's in a car. It's a truck. It's a truck. It's a large truck. What kind of truck? What are we looking at here?

A big, uh, I fix coffee equipment. So it is a Ford Transit. You've got a coffee equipment. What's the most, uh, like what happens the most with coffee equipment where you're like a Not again. Not this again. People don't turn on the water. That's the big one.

I had to drive three hours the other day, and the water was just shut off. It was just a switch. You had to flip? Yeah, so if that's the water line, it was like a red handle. Oh, so these are coffee, like, out of the wall. Yeah, yeah, in restaurants and, like, yeah. That's so funny. And I bet you're so sick of it.

You don't even drink coffee yourself. You're so. No, I love it. that's how he got involved with the job he loves coffee he's Juan Valdez he'll never work a day in his life yeah is Samuel where are you yeah where are you I am in the middle of nowhere South Carolina oh what's there to do in South Carolina what's if I ever go there what should I do well don't go there okay check but if you accidentally find yourself here um Columbia has a bar called art bar

That's worth going to They have these robots That have deadball machines in them And arcade games Finally an argument for robots That I haven't heard Now do you Samuel are you a listener

To our bonus episodes I am Yeah I've listened to you guys since 2011 Oh sweet I was gonna say I think on our bonus episodes We sometimes mention Southern Charm Is that around where you are?

I'm not aware of Southern Charm, no. You're not aware of Southern Charm? It's like a Bravo reality show in South Carolina. No, really? Yeah. You'd think that would be on everybody's lips. Well, I live in North Carolina, which they believe superior to South Carolinians. Is that true?

Like, are you superior? No. Are you allowed to transport cars? across state lines? Only if there's not cocaine in it. That seems like a heavy-handed rule in the whole thing, yeah. Samuel, you wrote in, do you have a question? Do you have a riddle?

Do you have a talent? I've got a riddle. Three-part harmony? A riddle. A riddle, oh shit, okay. The green glass door. You're aware of the green glass door? No.

No. Does it something to do with Wizard of Oz or something? A puppy can go through the green glass door, but a dog cannot. What's the green glass door? The glass ceiling on dogs. The green glass door is something that a puppy can go through, but a dog cannot. Is it a small puppy door? No.

Oh, well, I'm out of ideas. Answered in the name, green glass door. Yeah, it's something. There's something about the fact that it's a green glass door. Do you need another one? Yes. Fiddle can go through the green glass door, but a violin cannot. Is it the word or something like that?

Is it the word green glass door? Is the green glass door an actual thing? Thought, exercise, I guess. Like if we go to North Carolina, we're not going to find a green glass door. and we're not going to find a green glass door there. You'll find a glass door somewhere in those jail. But puppies, it lets dogs and puppies in. It doesn't let dogs in.

It lets puppies in. Well, puppy is a dog and a fiddle is a violin. Is that it? Is that it? Do you have another clue? All right, one more. A paddle can go through the green glass. But an oar can't.

But an oar cannot. Hmm. I don't know what it was. I mean, we're in the... Oh, you know what? The green glass door. When I was told this one, it took me about two months, and when I figured it out, it's so upsetting.

Is it just two syllable things that could go through? Letters. That's so annoying that you got that. Well, you know, we really had a lot of help from you. Does it matter that it's green and glass, or could it just be... Two E's, two E's, two E's. two s's two o's green glass door oh so i said two syllables but no you it's double letters double letters yeah double letters yeah fiddle puppy paddle that seems like a really tough

connections in the new york times that seems like like how was i how was i supposed to get that joe a would be happy about that one i do when i do uh connections what i i usually can get two of them And then I'm like, I just guess kind of the third one. And sometimes I get it. I mean, once you get the third one, you get the fourth one. Yeah, you get the whole done. Yeah, connections can go through the green glass door, but wordle cannot. Fuck, that's really good.

That's really good. It's more fun to just try and get ones that are going to stump people. You're like, oh, man, beer can go through, but whiskey can. Yeah. Pecan, but barf can't. And poo can. So there you go. Pooh can, but toucan can't.

Yeah, diarrhea can. Diarrhea can. Double R. Double R, diarrhea can. Pooh goes through to diarrhea, goes through. Vomit. Vomit doesn't go through. Uh-huh. There are two M's in vomit?

No. I've been spelling it wrong this whole time. Like, vomitin kind of thing? Laminate, yeah. Unless you were throwing up a bunch of M and M's, and then there might be 100 M's in Vom. I'm usually typing it while I'm throwing up, so the extra M just... Ah, that's smart.

Samuel, I feel bad that we only get five minutes with you. Yeah, it's, I want, there's so many things I want to ask about coffee. I want to know from your cool tattoos. Oh, my God, thank you. Talk to, uh, talk to you through some other riddles that you may have encountered in your time. Yeah. It's too brief. It's too brief.

But, hey, I've been listening to you guys for forever and I'm glad I got the time. Yeah, man. Us too. Thanks for calling. Yeah. Now out I go the glass door. Here we go. go. Bye. Bye.

And here's the thing. I don't know how to kick people off. I need them to leave on their own. Remember Tom Sharpling? Yeah. So much one. Get up my phone. He would. And then sometimes he would bring in someone to be like his co-host.

And they would get off. They'd do the get off my phone thing. And Tom would like fumble for the, for the button and kind of make them suffer. What a show What a show Do you think he remembers being on our show? I think he thinks about it all the time I think it's a very warm memory for him A lot of the Zoom ones

I feel like the people They were just doing a thousand of them Yeah So next on our list Now this is very special I mean all our guests are very special No I know And I said that before I even

Looked at the list Let's let Let's let the next person through. The green glass door. Through the clean glass door? Nope. We're looking at their name. They cannot come through the green glass door.

Oh, shit. Okay. Well, um, oh yeah, we can't. Yeah, it's like that. But welcome, Michael, and I hope your face shows up and your voice shows up soon. And you can tell us how to pronounce that last name of yours. Or it's none of our business. That's true.

It's none of our business. We can just call you Michael Kay, Michael Kane. Michael Kay, you are, you're here, but you haven't, I'm going to ask you to unmute. There you are. Hey, Michael, how are you? I'm good. I cannot see you guys. Oh, man.

There's nothing to see, really. Yeah. Michael, I mean, I'm wearing kiss makeup and Dave's wearing like a kind of a Carma Miranda fruit hat. Yeah, I got my fruit hat thing. Okay, I can see you guys now. Michael, where are you? Yeah. Uh-oh.

Michael? I'm coming from Michigan. I'm living in Michigan. Michigan. Oh, we had one year where all our callers were from Michigan. Kid Rock called us that year. Yeah, Eminem. Eminem.

Yeah, I, I'm a little Caesar. Who's the best person to ever come out of Michigan in your estimation? Like, Tim Allen? In my estimation? In your estimation. Hmm. yeah not Tim Allen no maybe one of our other great Michigan based comedians um I'm blanking on any of them but I'm sure Fox worthy for sure most of the blue collar comedy tour came from there I feel like we have got a big big lag with Michael uh but that's okay we're gonna work through we're just gonna when we ask a question we're just gonna pause and let it yeah now Michael um do you have uh you know a

question. Do you have a talent? I'm going to change I'm going to change my internet really quick and I'm hoping that'll help. Okay. You mean your provider? Can you guys hear me? I'm on hold.

Call her. This is by the way Michael's call is being recorded for quality of service purposes. Yeah, do you mind taking considering after you've been helped? Okay. Now you guys are better. Am I better? You are so good.

Awesome. Okay. Awesome. Thank you. Sorry about that. I have a talent and a question for you guys. Which would you like me to do? If you do them quick, we could do both. Yeah. Okay. My talent is dicing an onion. Would you guys like to see that?

Hell yeah. Yeah. Okay. Bros. Dicing Bros. I have the set up right here. So you should be able to. Oh, it's all right. I love this. There we go. All right. So I have my board and everything here.

So for the knife, you want to do a pitch. grip on your knife. So you have your thumb right there and your finger right there. We're going to go ahead and cut off just the top of the onion. Are you a trained chef? I am not. I'm a part-time teacher and a bartender. Oh, do you ever have to make onion drinks? All the time, man. It's freaking ridiculous. Everyone's always coming in and it's like, my old-fashioned doesn't have my standard onion in it. I would like that. My entire big onion.

Then I got these great skills to whip out. So you want to get the skin all off of your onion. And so you have it just looking like this. So for the listener, it's looking, well, it's looking damn skinned, except it's got a little, kind of. A little hair on it. Yeah, hair on it. Yeah.

There we go. And then you take it and you just, you keep that end on it. And you just do a few cuts. straight along it like that and then you have this kind of thing that's being held together by this end and so then

you just dice, dice, dice, dice, dice, dice, dice, oh, I kind of messed that one up. I'm never going to cut an onion the same way ever again. This is very new and... Oh my God, and now he's crying because cutting an onion makes you cry.

Oh my God, he's tearing up. Ah, don't put it so close to the camera. What are you going to use that onion on? Is that going on a hamburger or what's it? You know, we always have some chopped onion around. So maybe some eggs and stuff. Yeah. But can you guys smell that?

These onions really smell like up dog. What's up dog? Not much. What's up with you? Damn it. I walk right into it. Also, witch nuts. Is there a theme for this year of trying to get someone to say,

something? You're only the second caller, so no. Themes emerge. I think last year I came pretty locked and loaded with what do you have under there. And you said you had a talent and a question. I do, yes. So my question

for you guys is thinking of all of your previous guests, everyone who's been on the show, who would each of you pick to replace yourself in the event of your untimely death for the podcast? Did we ever have Gorvadol on?

We did. No, it was Norman Mailer. I choose Norman Mailer then. That's my answer. For me, it's got to be probably a shock jock, bad boy, bad boy rocker Tommy Lee. Yeah. Dang, I really need to listen to more of your episodes. Oh, yeah, no.

Do you have a theory of who would slot in? Because I think about it a lot. Yeah, I think the Alicia Tobin, Maddie Kelly combination would be quite ferocious. But you have a lot of people. If that's of both of us. Yeah, if that's in the event of both or something. We're not like an institution. We're not the Tonight Show.

Well, I assume that you guys just, you travel everywhere together. You're always in bars together. You know, you're always in my ears together. So I assume you're fully together. we're often in cars getting coffee yeah that's true now that i now that you say it well michael it breaks my heart that we only get five minutes with you but yeah and i'm sorry i wasted a minute on that with my terrible internet connection and i'm glad that we set the record straight on who would replace us it's perfect definitely awesome i don't quite know how to kick you out so i'm going to let you

leave on your own i'll just stay here forever all right thank you guys so much bye bye The next caller is, well, I think it's probably this person. Their email said, Christopher. Christopher. Hey, Christopher. Christopher. Yeah, it's the Sopranos. So I don't know what voice I was doing.

Christopher. That's his wife. Christopher. But this is, this caller's ID says C.J. from Stockton, California. That's Malcolm's country. C.J. 92. the number one rock station in Calgary, Alberta. CJ, where are you?

Hey, I'm right here. Hey, CJ. We can't see you. We can hear you. Would you like to see me? Of course. We're dying here. Usually people yell at you.

Yeah, there it is. Hi. Hey, how's it gone? It's going all right. I'm avoiding the office Christmas party. Oh, what's going on this year? What's the theme this year? Halloween.

The theme is Christmas pajamas. Oh. Oh, that's cool. That's fun. Are you wearing them? No, I don't own any. Yeah. Well, and that's a dicey thing to have as the theme,

because if you're going to show up in your boxers and an undershirt or something like that. Yeah. Where do you work? Yeah, where do you work? I work for a school district. Okay. In the print shop. So I do print production and graphic design and stuff.

Oh, cool. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. What's the big, what are people demanding this year? What's the popular font? The font. Everyone loves Froximo Nova. Never heard of it. It's basically Helvetica,

but it has a new name. Cool. And, yeah, people are big fans of banners this year. Lots and lots of banners. Like vote for so-and-so? Yeah, or go Vikings. Go Vikings is more like it, yeah.

Yeah. See the Sadie Hawkins Day dance, stuff like that. Absolutely. Reading. It's fundamental. Capital, F-U-M. Hi. How's it going?

Oh, he's, there's someone in there. On the other side of the parking lot, you'll find the mail center. She's got a sign out front where that van is right there. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, you dummy. Hi, where's the mail center and why aren't you in your pajamas? Are you supposed to be doing something right now?

No, he's appointing a meeting. That's true. Or a party, sorry. Are you, is this Friday, is that the end before holidays kick off? Or when do holidays kick off in Stockton? The school's going break after this Friday. And yeah, I'm working up until Christmas Day, but then I have myself some holidays. Hell yeah.

What are you going to do? It's a great question. I just got a rooster. Maybe you'll get the rooster, build them a new house or something. And you are not burying the lead at all. You're really going for it. Is this your first rooster? It is.

It was free. So I take a rooster leave a rooster kind of situation. Do you have any other chickens? Nope. Just this one rooster. So he's going to be horny as hell. Oh, yeah. He's going to be waking you up as soon as the sun comes up.

What is your, like where do you have a, what do you call it, a hutch? What do you call it for a rooster? A coop? A coop? Do you have a coop? I gave him a dog house, but I guess I'm thinking I might build on a coop. I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. Are there any coyotes in the area you need to protect them from? No, no coyotes that I know of. There might be raccoons, but I haven't seen them.

They're fine together. Oh, okay. Yeah. Don't worry about that. I obviously know a lot about raising chickens. Well, we don't. And judging by my, well, roosters are got to be so horny. that's what makes them crow in the morning they're like oh now CJ do you have a question a talent a song

do you have a song I don't have a song on me I was going to share a Christmas talent yes this is great okay hope it doesn't involve pajamas nope not this time it involves

wrapping gifts for kids I'll tell you right now because I know you've got two little girls too, Dave. The best thing, let's say you're going to give her a Barbie. Before you wrap it, open up that Barbie.

Get rid of all the twist ties. Get rid of all the little stuff that you'll have to do Christmas morning, stick it back together and wrap it up. That's good. That's smart. That is smart. I also, I'm replacing their swing set

with a bigger one. With a rooster. Yeah, how does the rooster feel about this? He's fine with it so far. so I built the new one and then took it apart into about four large pieces that I didn't put away so that I can put it up real quick Christmas Eve night. Smart. Really smart.

For some reason I thought in my head a man who's just acquired a mystery chicken wouldn't have kids, but there you go. Yeah, I also was the same. I was like, well, I'm not going to bring that into my complicated world. Oh, no, they're into it. They love it. Do you have any other pets? yeah i've been redoing my backyard so i just put in a pond so i've got two turtles sticky and

mr turtle did they did surprisingly huh uh and then i've got myself a three-legged border calling named izzie izzie shaggy um do you uh what is the popular gift for a youngster this swing set you've said but is it like what's the A Barbie with no twist eyes Barbie no twist eyes That's weird I don't know if you've experienced this They're extremely into designer

Hand sanitizer Hmm I don't know if you witnessed this No But you know what At the same time Doesn't surprise me Doesn't surprise me

Anything like that It's a fashion statement My daughter asked for This is weird It's like a special version of Barbie called Extra Twist Tie Barbie. So it's just like her whole arms and legs are just, you'll never get her out of the box. Yeah, so if you could send yours north, that would be great because Dave needs all the twist ties he can use. Absolutely.

I'll stick them in the mail. Well, the mail shops over there on the other side of the parking lot there. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Are you going to do anything fun off-beat during the holidays Or is it just cool down with the family And let's all enjoy our new swing set Just hang out with the swing set

And try and get the rooster to chill out And get a little less horny Good luck Any eggs coming out of that rooster yet Not so far Well, keep trying Maybe reach up there and see what's going on Oh, that's a good idea.

Yeah. Just to make sure. Hold it above you and stare into the hole and see what it. Yeah, there we go. Squeeze. Well, CJ, thanks for the tips, the wrapping tips. Very good. No problem.

It's time to say goodbye. Well, it had to come sometime. Yeah. Absolutely. So nice to meet you. You guys too. Good luck in the new year. Thank you.

Talk to you guys later. Doodle do. Well, that was great. Thanks, CJ. He's gone. Now, our next caller, this was the first person to actually join the call. The call. This person was in the waiting room before you even. Well, nothing like a keener, you know. And who is, who is, who we're well, Georgia. Georgia. We're welcoming Georgia, Georgia, Georgia, yeah, like the song. Yeah, do it. Are you? Georgia.

Right, Georgia? Yeah, that's right. Welcome to the show, Georgia. Hi, yeah, thanks for having me. Thanks for coming. This is great. Where do you call us from? I am calling from UK, from Manchester.

Manchester. Yes. They have quite the footy club, I hear. They have too. Yeah, that's true There's two of them Actually, there's more than two of them And they let women do it now as well

Finally I'm not sure I approve Do you have you ever played? No, not particularly athletic I feel like actually playing soccer at school Is more of a thing in North America Maybe like It's a real after school thing

That your parents put you into It's not like the school teams or the, you know, whatever, volleyball, et cetera. But, yeah, soccer's for, suckers for kids whose parents are pushing. Soccer's for mom and dad. Yeah, that's right. Where I grew up, the sport was rugby.

Again, not really for girls, at least in my childhood. Yeah. And you don't have field hockey over there? No, we do. They'd make you go outside in, like, the freezing cold, and you had to wear shorts, and someone would, like, clobber a ball at you, It would hurt so much.

Like maybe the worst pain. Yeah. Like a hot ball hitting a cold thigh. You know what? I'm not going to do it. I'm not signing up this year. It's not recommended. Thanks.

Anyways, we are out of time. Georgia, you were the first person to join our call. You were very prepared. Yes. And so we appreciate that. Well, I was really worried that Zoom wasn't going to work. Yeah. Well, it's working fine.

Yeah. We love Zoom here. It's one of the greatest connectors of people. I can see in your background you have a poster for Forbidden Planet. Are you a sci-fi kind of person or a retroist or what are you? I share my life with a sci-fi person and retroist. I'm kind of begrudgingly involved. But that actually does bring me on to the thing I was going to say, which is in the most recent episode,

you said that you were looking for recommendations of 80s or 90s, movies that have had remakes, have you seen House on Sorority Road, 1982? No, but this is some hot topic. Okay. House on Sorority Row. This is an American, an English movie? What is this? Yeah, we don't have sorority, so it's an American. It is one of the early slashes in the kind of Friday the 13th vein, very much kind of like a copycat of that in some ways, but then it's also, you know, it's got like a lot of sorority girls. isn't it? Oh, yeah.

What you would expect. Oh, hubba, hubba. It's very hubba, hubba. You wouldn't believe. But I really enjoyed it. So, like I said, I kind of begrudgingly watch a lot of old movies or used to watch a lot of old movies with my house, but I'm getting more begrudging about it as time goes on. But this one I genuinely think is really, really good.

I haven't seen the remake, but the remake looks like it might be really, really bad. And what is it also called? on sorority row. By 2009, they weren't keen on films with titles more than two words. Oh, it stars, oh, it stars Rumer Willis. Does that anything really star Ruma Willis? I think Rumer Willis is Rumer Willis also in the House Bunny?

So she was going on a real sorority kick in the late odds. It was contractual. I'm going to check this one out, but is there a twist that the person is actually in a fraternity, not a sorority at all, something like that, a gender swap kind of situation? There is a gender component.

Okay, all right. That's all I'm going to say. It also starts Adriena Patrick from MTV's The Hills. Oh, wow. Okay, good, solid cast. And this was made, did you say, in 2000 when? Nine. 2009.

2009, okay. And is the remake an improvement at all on the original? I haven't seen it. Because I knew I was going to recommend the original, I quickly read the Wikipedia page, which I can also see Dave has opened. Yeah. So it stars Brianna Evigan,

who started step up to the streets. Oh, yes. And she's also the daughter of Greg Avigan, who we talked about on, I guess, last week's episode, was The Other Dad from My Two Dads with Paul Reiser. Yeah, and Dave was able to pluck that out from the ether, just no problems that he knew that name. Yeah, oh boy, this is a good-looking movie. It's one of Dave's absolute superpowers, though.

It's just the internal roller decks is unreal. Yeah. Yeah, I know things. He knows things. And you know what? He can't escape them. They keep a level, right? People, anytime there's like a thing I don't know about, people are very quick to write in and say,

you don't know where this sun goes around. around the moon or whatever. Well, I've heard about it in that Vanessa, whatever her name's song. Sometimes the sun goes around the moon. Yeah, sometimes. But it's a Williams.

Yeah. So you knew which Vanessa it was. That's true. Exactly. Damn. Prove it. Is the way that you're begrudging about sci-fi with your husband,

is there things that he begrudgingly has to participate in that he just does he loves you? Was the word husband ever said? What husband was said. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. There are, but he would just describe it as me putting him in situations.

Like, like, that sounds like a very British thing. He has to attend things with me. And sometimes, yeah, I do kind of feel like I have to pay it by watching Death Stalker 2 with him. Right. Oh, I've never, never heard of it. Oh, I'm like, okay, Graham, you actually do.

have to find a way to watch Death Stalker 2. It is extremely good. I wouldn't bother with Dead Stalker 2. Dead Stalker 2 is actually. Yeah. You know what? So my husband also listens to the podcast. Hey, where is he?

Yeah, where is he now? He's, this is like, it's very Andy themed conversation. He's at the wrestling, right? Of course he is. He's watching AW tonight. So watching some actual kind of big names, I guess. And AW is the home of past guest Colt Cabana

Yeah, that's true It's cult still I feel like there was some controversy Oh there's always controversy But not as much as there's controversy Oh he's got me I believe cold is still there Yeah, I think he works more in a back

Stage behind the scenes capacity And he hates going to Manchester Well, understand understandable, especially in the weather. If I go to Manchester, what is the one thing you would say that I absolutely, absolutely positively have to see? I don't know. I'm saying it, but it might be a football match.

Ah, damn it. I was hoping there was a cool coffee shop or something. Yeah, there's like a million cool coffee shops. It's like a very cool coffee kind of city. I just couldn't recommend one that's like particularly good. There's probably loads of stuff that's good for gluten-free people. Really? But I wouldn't know I go mad for gluten.

This, you go mad. That's a very British. I go mad for Putin. I'm positively mad for Putin. Yeah. Well, thanks for the zero recommendations of what to do in your fair city. I had other recommendations.

That's true. You did. I shouldn't. You're right. You gave me some great things to check out. What was the second? What is it called? Decapitator, too.

A stalker, too. A stalker. Okay. Decapadage is a good name, is any. I can't vouch for decapitator. I'm sorry we got to let you go. We got a lot of people to visit this year. Yeah.

It's our busy time of year. Thanks for having me. Thanks for calling. Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay. And here's our next person.

Their name is Heidi. And hello, Heidi. Where is she? Well, obviously. Oh, Heidi. There you go. We can't hear you. We cannot see you.

It takes a minute to connect, Graham. You've got to just roll with the punches. I can't. I need it to be perfect. Oh, hello. There's Heidi. Hi. Oh, there's a cat on Heidi.

Yeah, he's decided he needs to be in my arms. Oh, yeah. He's jealous. He is. He was like, you're nervous, so I got to calm you down. Aw. What's this cat's name out of that? His name is Amor.

Amor? Amor. A more? I like love. Love. How do you? you and Mori get together? He got,

he was at the Humane Society. Okay. And my son insisted that we had to have him. And so. Your son's right. He's like the best little cat in the world. Is it a multiple cat dwelling we're talking about? Or is this one and only?

He has a sister. Her name is Moira Rose. A Moira Rose. Uh-huh. She's a Calico cat with really long. first so she's got like the wig thing going on just like Moira from Schitt's Creek so she's not perfectly

she hides in the closet just like Moira does when she's upset so it's perfect where are you calling us from Heidi Reno Nevada oh the biggest little city the biggest little city I drive under that sign almost every day on the way to work and I go

people drive from all or come all over the country just for this sign and I just go this again oh yeah is like I've been to Vegas. I've never been to Reno. Is it, what is it? What is it? What is Reno? Is it a smaller version of Vegas? It's a much smaller, way less grand version, but I mean, I've lived here for a really long time, so I love it. But I don't know if I'd come on vacation here. But yeah, Graham, every caller so far, he's been like, well, what, what will I do in your city when I visit?

Yeah, drive under that sign. It sounds like that's a fun thing to do. Um, Any other things that you're like, Reno's got it. Take a picture in front of the sign. Yeah, absolutely. Everybody just goes to Tahoe because it's so pretty. Oh, you've got to go to go. It's an hour away and it's beautiful. I feel like people say Tahoe in movies a lot as a place that they're going.

Because if they're rich, we're going to Ta- Yeah, and people say they're... Yeah, it is pretty pricey. People say Tahoe a lot in Mexican restaurants, but I think they might be mispronouncing Taco. Dave, you're canceled, and I'm here the one to... Oh, what did I do? Dang.

I got to have canceled. I'm so proud of myself. That's, well, you know what? It was only a matter of time. Now, Heidi, was it? Do you have a question, a talent, a riddle, some kind of... Fabrician A. And it's topic of conversation.

Yeah, sure. We have a same favorite food. Is it ice cream? Is it Wednesdays? It is ice cream. What about? ice cream? It is. I mean that's low rent ice cream.

It's pretend ice cream. Yeah, but I'll still eat it. Oh, absolutely. As long as it's not frozen yogurt, I'm on the table. You're on the table. You're on the slab. I'm at the table. I'm eating it all. Maybe I'm on the table eating it all. I don't know. How

much do you like ice cream? Like, would you say that you scream for it? Is that? I definitely screen for it. We all kind of do. We all do. It's what you do with ice cream. Um, if my sister comes to my house, then I don't have ice cream, she asks me, what's wrong? Okay. Why haven't you been to the creamery? Do you get it at home or do you prefer to get it out? I mean, I'll take it wherever it is, but like a soft serve,

which is really hard to find in Reno, but I'm from Salt Lake City originally. And that's where, like, soft serve is just amazing. Oh, soft service king and Salt Lake City. Right. It is. I have tears of ice cream where it's like. I have tears when I have ice cream. Yeah, I have tears of ice cream so much that I cry it out.

I have tears of, well, I'll eat it because it's here and it's not my favorite, but it is ice cream. That's how a Wendy's Frosty will go. It's like, it's here. It's ice cream. I'll eat it. But is it handmade banana ice cream from like? somewhere. Now, you mentioned being from Salt Lake City. They are famous for their dirty sodas. Is that what it's? Have you partaken in those? Oh, absolutely. Two things Utah knows how to do,

ice cream and soda. Also, they know how to work around sex laws with their, with their God. Well, you know, it's only legal. That was getting canceled. If you're not married to everyone. You're only spiritually married. so what's it for the listener what is a dirty soda it's like a soda with a sweet cream in it yeah there's all these kinds of like uh you know things you add to your sodas um like a real good basic one would be a root beer with vanilla syrup and sweet cream that's classic that's a float it's a root beer float without the ice cream which i mean is again a tier below ice cream yes but we'll take it you know what i love about a float is um whether a little when the soda crystallizes on the yeah or like you i i was listening to a previous podcast and maybe like a serial constant listener it's a problem um my son knows exactly who you guys are well you should he's got to learn about us sometime yeah i know he does he's 17 he's fine um but like you were talking about making milkshakes and i love when you take ice cream and pour like

some milk over top it, and it crystallizes in the oak. That doesn't get better. And what's your, if you have to pick, what's your favorite ice cream? What's the number one flavor? And banana pudding. Holdstone had a banana pudding out last summer

that I wish they would do again. But the place near by me, they have banana pudding, too. That is not what I was expecting. Oh, really? Chocolate. If you want to be basic, I just don't think I've ever had banana pudding ice cream. If you ever get the chance, Dave. Oh, I had a banana at the one near us.

There was a banana one, and it was delicious. It was like a banana toffee kind of situation. Anything banana is just... You go bananas for it. Yeah. I go bananas and I scream for it. Well, it's the perfect food. It was, it's proof that God invented it or whatever.

God brought us milk and ice cream. Yeah. Well, Heidi, gosh, all these calls, I wish we could just keep talking to people, but there's a pile up of people waiting to talk. You know, I understand, and I appreciate you guys taking the time. And I just want to say that, like, your podcast has been very helpful in the last forever, as long as I've listened to you. So I appreciate you guys.

Stay in the course and keep in with it. Don't stop. Don't stop podcasting yourself. Oh, that's a good idea. All right. Yeah. Happy holidays. Heidi. Happy holidays. Have a great day.

Thank you. All right. And here's the next person we've got. And it's a Jessica. Oh, oh no, I clicked on the wrong person. Oh, no. Oh, no. Hi. Oh, no. We got the wrong person. We got the wrong person. I'm going to put

you back in the waiting room. I clicked on the wrong person. All right. We're talking. Jessica S. Jessica? Oh, here I am. Here I am. Jessica.

What a treat. Hi, guys. Hi, how are you? I'm great. I'm great. Have you ever been on one of these calls before? No, I haven't. I haven't.

Welcome to a newcomer. Thank you. Longtime listener. First time guest. And oh, oh, guess what I'm wearing? Let's see. You got a whole lot of camera. Oh, your possible.

Yes. This is good. It's funny, you have, your camera is, like, moving. So when you tried to put it in the frame, it, like, moved away from you. Well, you guys are on time this year. It's only five minutes after my scheduled time. Well, if anything, we keep the trains running on time. Graham, that's, to Graham, that's the most important thing.

Yeah, I keep everybody on schedule. Now, where are you, Jessica? I'm in northern New Jersey, outside. to New York City. What county? Bergen County. Okay. So just over the Hudson River.

How close is the nearest Jersey Mike subs? Oh, right in town. Right in town. Right in town. Yep. Right in town. Yep. Do you ever eat one?

Of course, we do. Good stuff. They are. For a fast food sub, pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah. I'd say definitely better than Subway. Okay.

As good as Quiznos. I don't know if anything's better than Subway. Let's not say anything we can. take back. Okay, you're right. And also, are you very proud of Kevin Smith? Not really. No, not one of our proudest ones.

Though, I do live in the town that James Gandalfini is from. Oh, nice. Yeah. You woke up this morning and got himself a gun, is that right? I've heard that, yeah. I believe he did. Is it just like the Sopranos when you look out of your window? Not at all.

He came from a nice little, you know, middle-class town. So, yeah, he wasn't raised on the main streets. And you, is this a place you born and raised or did you relocate for some of else? No, same county. Same county I was born in, but no, I didn't live in this town. I lived in a less nice town before. Okay, now you're moving up. Yep, exactly.

Nice. What, do you have a question? Do you have a talent? Do you have a riddle? Do you have whatever else we asked for? So, as an homage to Dave, who this time of year does something very special for Graham. A lot of people are doing homages to me today. Oh, okay.

Well, what I have is some coupons. Oh, hell yeah. Here we go. I don't know if can you read it? It's not blurring. It's funny. The camera hates it. It does.

Okay. So I'll read it to you. Okay. So redeem this coupon for one free awkward hug from a bumper of your choice at any live. spy show. Oh man, we're going to be catching that in

real quick. And you have until 2035 so the show has to go keep going for another 10 years. Yeah. That expires. Okay, next one is

by the way, I will not be catching that in. I'm not hugging any listeners. I think Graham's more of a hugger. I'm a hugger. Yeah. Okay, so this one is, wow, this coupon

entitles you to ignore up to 12 pedantic emails from listeners. Oh, okay. So that one come in handy. But this one does expire next year. So, you know, you're going to have to use that one. I think we have about 12. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't get that many. No. And you know what? A lot of them are finding a nice home on the Discord. So yeah, a lot of even have to. I haven't ventured into

the Discord. I'm, I feel like I'm too old for Discord. No, it's very, it's very sweet. It's very, you know, just. It's a wholesome corner of Discord. Oh, yeah. I mean, not at night. Like, after the watershed hour. Who, who, he gets nasty. But don't worry about that. People are putting them on the glass. Is watershed? Is that a Canadian thing? That is a British thing.

It's a British thing. In broadcasting school, they said the watershed hour was 9 o'clock, and that's when the, like, standards change for what you could broadcast. So that was like in the 80s, it was no skin on HBO until after 8 o'clock. Okay. Yeah. And so they'd only had skinless people. That's right.

It's just disgusting. Although we got body worlds out of it, so that was pretty good. All right. My last coupon is, this one is you guys participate. Your choice, you must choose one. By the design on these is great. They're amazing, yeah. Guess what I've done for a living for 30 years.

Gravity coupons? Yeah, of course. I'm graphic designer. Coupon designer? I have done some coupons. So your choice, I will either read a list of my favorite things about spy or I will read, and this one is probably the funnier one. I will read a selection of texts between me and my sister. Megan, who is also a bumper.

Text, text. Wait, wait, wait, wait. When does this expire? When does this expire? It expires today. Oh, we got to use it. Give us the text. Okay.

So I went back through my text history because we text about you guys quite a bit. So I have a lot of them, but I'm trying to pick out my best ones. So these go back to 2019. I've been a listener much longer than that. But I finally got her to listen to you guys during, you know, She really needed the pick-me-up of you guys. Sisters love this show. It's true.

Is that true? Yeah. Well, yeah, I mean, the nuns all over the place they write in all the time. Yeah. How do you solve a problem like Graham? Okay, so October 2019, my sister, Megan, says, Caitlin Howden, quote, I just read the crime section of the Huffington Post now. Dave, the McGruffington Post.

Nice. La laugh emoji, laugh emoji, laugh emoji. Nice work. I am good. Don't worry, Graham. I've got plenty for you too. Oh, thanks. Let's see. Okay, so December of 2019, there was something he said that made me laugh out loud. I don't know which one is she, she's talking about. Something he said that made me laugh out loud while trying to be quiet

the other day and it was so hard. Oh, and then she says, okay, it was John Doer. and he said, if Luke Skywalker can drink milk, tit water juice, and then Graham jumps in and says, that was my favorite red pot chili peppers album. It is pretty good. Milk, tit, water juice, yeah. And she said, it's like all I want to do is listen to this at work. You've revolutionized my days. Aw. So she was very happy.

Also in the graphic design world as well. So lots of time with headphones. Yeah, who's the better graphic designer? Oh, no. Don't want to do your own word. No, no. She's listening. She's listening.

No, she's great. We do two different kinds of things. So she's great. She's great. Did you say what your sister's name was? It's Megan. Hey, Megan. Hey, shout out to Megan.

I'll give anyone a, any Megan a hug. You don't need no coupons. Okay. So I was talking about Aaron. read and how much I love him and he's he's so funny and he said he was taught you guys were talking about the old TGIF lineups and Aaron said just the 10 of us it sounds like like a show about a group of people who are always annoying restaurants by showing up without a reservation it's just the 10 of us okay the we didn't start the fire song came up more than once

Okay. So she says, cracking up with their version of We Didn't Start the Fire from episode 500, you're probably a graphic designer. You have a job where you can wear headphones at work is one of Graham's lyrics. That's, in fairness, Dave wrote all the lyrics. I know, but you definitely improvised your solo, or the choruses. And the voice of an angel.

Come on, Graham. Thank you. Now, I hate to hurry you along, but is there one more, like, grand finale? Okay, yes. Yes, sorry. I don't want to get you off schedule. Okay. This one is topical because it's related to Christmas time. And it's from December of 2021. I said, I'm listening to this week's spy and the conversation turned to eggnog, homemade aged eggnog specifically. And Graham said he couldn't think of anything grosser, quote, except maybe soy eggnog.

And then Dave, not missing a beat, said, which in Spanish means, I am Oh, man. I'd never miss a beat. Yeah, that's true. You both never do. That's the greatest thing about you guys is that you make each other laugh and you're so fast and the fans love it. Well, the greatest thing about us is that we're actually good people. We work in the community. Yeah.

We're wife guys. Dishing out vigilante justice on public transit. After this, I'm going to go and dig ditches for kids. why do the kids and he ditches like a mass grave like this got dark thanks for just

thanks for calling okay bye thank you all right now this person ha ha ha now we know this person yes we do

hello hello Christine hi hi Christine in a not surprising Simpsons themed outfit uh

You've seen this already. This is on brand. This is very on brand. I don't know if it will show up very well with the daylight, but I turned the light. Oh, yes, yes. So for the listener, Christine is wearing a Homer Simpson-themed ugly Christmas sweater. That's just the genre. It's not a judgment.

And it lights up. Yeah, and it lights up. And you've got, what do you call that? Hairband, hairband, hair band. This has Merry Christmas. Yeah, I guess a hairband. If you say hairband, it makes me think of, like, poison.

Yeah. I was going to say Lita Ford. Yeah. I really got Lita Ford on the mind this last few days. I'm not sure why. Christine, you are known to us. Have you been on one of these shows before? Yes.

I think maybe like four years ago. I don't know. Maybe the first time you did it, I think. Christine is a friend of the show. Christine runs the Simpsons trivia in Vancouver. Yeah. She's a staple of the Vancouver. world she's a she's a cornerstone she also walks my dogs when i'm out of town

a monster and irma which one's your favorite of the two you can tell us we won't tell them it depends on the day and it depends on the situation like morning snuggles monster sitting on the couch irma wants to hold your hand oh true she does but you need your hands for you know other stuff throwing the ball constantly for monster i'm excited i heard i was listening you were saying you got the throw automatic thing. I'm very curious to see that eventually. But it's the problem is, I still need

to do it for him. Yeah, did you decommission that? Were you like, no, this isn't working? I forget. I had a couple rules about can we not have it while I'm underneath. I'm in the basement and I'm just hearing scrambling

little toe beans above me. How are you, Christine. I'm good. It's a little chaotic today. I go back to Ontario tomorrow for Christmas. Oh, shit. We're in Ontario. My parents are in Niagara and then my siblings are in Toronto and I have a brand new baby niece that I get to me. Nice. I did. Yeah. May. Shouts to the niece. Where are we in Toronto? We're talking Trinity Bellwoods? Are we talking the beaches? That's a great question. I... The annex is it the annex? They're west. They're west. Okay. But my brother works at the aquarium in Toronto.

Down by the CN Tower? Yeah, right under the C.N. Tower. That's so funny that he works of all the places in Toronto. He works at the C.O.T.R. He works at David Busters across the street. Yeah, he's a zoologist, and he's been there since the aquarium open. So he's in charge of, like, the sharks and all the welfare for all the animals. So it's pretty cool.

The sharks gone welfare because they get fired. We're having fun here. It's Christmas time. Um, what, uh, boy, it has such a good question about, as, oh, yeah, has he seen Zootopia too? Okay, never mind. Um, now, Christine, do you have a question? Do you have a, uh, uh, talent? Do you have a riddle? I have so many questions. First of all, did you know that 9-1 pizza closed? I just saw that today. Oh, no. 9-11 pizza.

Yeah. There's something else coming soon. So I don't, I didn't really see what it was when I was driving. It's called Twin Towers Pizza. It's very, um, it's very, um. popular. Yeah, it's called Jihad pizza. Oh, my God. Talents, last week you, I think whatever week it was, you read my overheard about my pottery class. Yes. Oh, yeah. The lady's like wondering if she had ADHD. Finding out, yeah. I certainly was saying to myself, I'm like, I also have it. What's a, where did you take the pottery class?

It's a place called Cafe O'Clay. It's down the street from me. That's cute. Caffeo clay, that's great. On third and fur, just next to a place called Brewing August. And Graham, if you wanted to do more of your not cultural or whatever, like trying new things. Trying new things, yeah. You go there and you can paint pottery. Oh, that's cool.

Or at the brewery next door that you're allowed to take it in and then they fire it and then you come back and get it. But when I was on vacation last week and my nephew got to go. and paint a ceramic fish? And I was like, why can't I go ceramic fish? Why is the kid is the only one that's allowed to take one of these in paint?

So you sculpt it and then they fire it? Sounds like Donald Trump over here. You're fired. You fired. The instructors have made some that you can go and choose from like bowls and plates and stuff.

Oh, sure. And then they go and put it in the glaze and stuff. So yeah. But I took the actual class of stairs and let me tell you it is hard. Yeah. Pottery is no joke.

Did you use a wheel? Yeah, I took a wheel class. So, yeah, you can do a hand-building class or a wheeled class. So I took the wheeled class six weeks, so, and I'm taking it again because I need to improve. Yeah. But, I mean, things are still functional, like my little mug here. Oh, it's adorable. And stuff on its own, too.

I'll take a picture of them, I'll put them in the Discord. And you also have, it's kind of a neat, like, there's kind of like drops on it. It makes it look like... You can paint it ahead of time and then glazing it two different ways. Yeah. Those are drops of Jupiter. Oh, yeah. They're in her hair.

Yeah. Oh, there's a little bowl. What's at the bottom of the bowl? Is it a carrot? I mean, it looks like cherries, but I was trying to do Holly. I was just going Christmas. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it screams Holly.

Right. You know, that's great. You like this time of year, I'm guessing, by your outfit. I do. My siblings got me this for, or my mom, I can't remember, for Christmas last year because they know that I host the, um, the trivia. And, uh, yeah, I go home every year, which is kind of nice. Graham was texting me yesterday asking if I wanted to go to trivia sometime and I said yes, but I know the questions are very hard. Yeah, but it's still fun. We get to watch the episodes in between the round. I'm just wondering, can you give us a very hard question or, or just a standard question if there's one coming to mind? Well, I can give you one of the ones from round three from that very first one that you guys were also at at the sushi place. Well, I didn't go.

I dropped off Abby and then I left. Oh, okay. The one, it always sticks in my head because it was before we were hosting, but it was the, what's the slogan of the Springfield sperm bank? Oh, that's good. I don't remember. We whack them. Oh, come on. Put your sperm in our hands.

Yes. I was just trying to think of a Christmasy one Just in case you asked And I would think it was like What toy did Bart end up burning the Christmas tree down with? It wasn't a Funzo And it wasn't the global thing that tells you What time it is in whatever country

No Fonzo was outside of season 9 So even though I think Oh sure But it's just like a little fire truck A little fire truck Yeah And you do such a good job of this trivia night.

It's so much fun. Thank you. Is there one in January? There is one in January. It's always the last Tuesday of the month. And then if people can't make it, we also run it online. Okay. Yeah, because we did it for about eight weeks or 12 weeks,

something like straight when the pandemic hit, like every Sunday. So people, they found us from all over the world. Nice. And so once we went back to in person, we didn't just want to abandon the people that weren't in Vancouver. We run the exact same thing back online. Well, Christine, thanks so much for calling. Did you get everything out of this you wanted?

Yes. I was going to say in my last holiday wrap-up things, I'm also dropping Christmas cards and stuff off, and I made homemade marshmallows this year. Nice. On your porch. I don't think Graham could have them because gelatin. Ah, gelatin.

Sure. That's what I said to be number one. All right. Well, thanks for calling. Yeah, Merry Christmas, guys. Merry Christmas to you. I'll see you in 2026. Bye.

All right. Our next caller, where are you there? Are you there? Okay, who is the next one? Let's go with this guy. That was a run of some chicks. Hell yeah. It's not a sausage party here.

Now we can get back to my kind of guys. All right. Now we can really. Kurt. Kurt, what's a good name? Kurt. Yeah. Hey, Graham.

Hello. This is the boy zone. All right. Hey, Kurt, where are you calling from? From Brattleboro, Vermont. Wow, that sounds like a Christmas-y kind of place. Oh, it is pretty Christmassy right now. I'm in the psychiatric hospital where I work.

Okay. I promise I work there. And we have no way of verifying this one way or the other. Isn't it interesting either way? Nothing says Christmas like a psychiatric hospital. It's somebody whispering on their computer. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you, what do you do at the hospital? I'm a therapist by training, a social worker and therapist, but I'm in the leadership here and run the communications and development and community partnerships kinds of stuff. What, uh, you listen to the show, what, we need therapy. Is that right? Yeah. I think you guys are therapy. Honestly, I think men will literally start a podcast instead of going to therapy. It's true.

He's been running for many years instead of going to have therapy. Do you feel like in movies, social workers are unfairly portrayed? I feel like they're always haggard and have too many files and are, you know, mad at you for not. Yeah. You haven't gotten a job, so we can't let your kids go back. Yeah. We need to double check that you are, in fact, not Mrs. Dofire. Yeah, I think that's probably true.

We don't tend to show up that well. movie, psychiatry, mental health, social work, really nobody. They're usually locking people up, abusing folks in unfair ways. It's not a great portrayal. But, you know, that's not you. That's not me. No, I promise. I just try to talk to people. That's all. Yeah. It's hard, isn't it? It is. It's hard. There's people go through a lot, you know. They do. Yeah. Yeah. You did every day. Now, Kurt, do you have a question? Do you have a talent?

Do you have a riddle? Do you have a rhyme? A riddle or a rhyme? Oh, man. If somebody has some rhymes to spit? Oh, shit. I know. I have a question for you.

Oh, great. All right. I wanted to know if you had a favorite joke, either yours or someone else's, one that you can think of. From the podcast or from comedy in general? A comedy from anywhere that would, that sort of tickles you. Oh. Oh, that's a really good thing. I like Norm McDonald's a moth joke.

Like, that's my, like, all-time favorite joke, the long lead-up at the punchline. So that kind of thing. And you've heard his one about the guy that chopped up his family? I don't know if I know that one. It's kind of long, but I can, I can, I can shore it up a little bit. I'd love it. Um, so it was, uh, it was, oh, geez, how did it go? Oh, yeah, like, uh, so the devil tells him to kill his family, right?

And, uh, and he does, and he's, uh, gonna bury them down by the train yard. He's like, I did for you, your bidding, devil. I did what you asked me to do. And the devil takes off his mask and say, hey, it's me, Bob. And he's like, oh, Bob, you really got me there. You got my whole family here in this bag. I really like the one that was just a, it was a very early joke of his,

and he was talking about how he was young for his age. I always looked young for my age. Even when I was a kid, when I was one, people would come up to me and be like, what are you zero? But when you said, do I have a favorite joke,

the one that comes to mind is by Dan Mintz, the voice of Tina from Bob's Burgers. And it's the joke about, um, when I was a kid when I was a kid all we had was the Sears catalog

and you would go to the bras and look at that and now kids are kids today are so lucky because they could just go to Sears.com I love it.

There's also a Dan Mince one that I heard that always made me laugh was I feel bad for people who are born on September 11th because you only got

one present for both. That's very good Those are some good jokes Kurt, do you have a favorite? I like, I mean, Norm MacDonald's moth joke is really Do you know that one? Yeah, you know, it's just

I've occasionally gotten whole rooms with the retelling of that one, but you really have to stretch it out, I think. Yeah, yeah, as much as possible. Just sort of just sort of just be ready to kill you almost with the level of frustration that people have for you. Yeah. He could carry it, you know, he could carry it, you know?

He was the one of it. He got away with it every time. Yeah. If he was still around, I bet he'd love legal gambling. Yeah. Yeah. Big gambler, that guy. He would love to gamble.

Man. And he's like, and he's like super, it's like a genius level. he like understood astrophysics and all this kind of shit he was like brilliant brilliant and he decided to do stand-up comedy of all things yeah but I think also quite a religious

guy which is kind of interesting yeah Muslim he hates that 9-11 joke I just told well Kurt this has been great thank you so much guys so I'll listen to you soon yeah absolutely

Have a good rest of the day. Happy New Year. All right. What a nice guy. I guess they've all been nice. This next person is named James. And how late are we to James? Oh, we're only 14 minutes late to James.

James B. James B. James B. James B. James B. How are you? Oh, look at that Christmas tree. Hi, Dave.

Hi, Graham. How are you both? Good. Oh, and you're wearing this like, really cozy red flannel shirt. You've got a star in the background. My God, you're looking Christmassy as fuck. Happy New Year to everyone.

James, where are you? I am in northern Sweden. Oh, Sweden. Wow. How far north? Well, I had to look this up with some Canadian friends. I'm outside a city called Umiol, which is roughly... Spell it. Spell it.

U.M.E. Or. And that's roughly level with Dawson city in terms of latitude. You, M.E. What? A with a circle over it. I saw the A key, and then it should show up. Yeah, yeah. I know how to get it. I just didn't know what you said.

He knows how to get it. He can assure you. Oh, he can get it. Wow, that is far north. So you said it's like the same latitude. Same latitude as Dawson City. A city I've never been to, but I'm guessing it is as dark and cold and miserable with them. yeah the city loses half of its population during the winter everybody leaves until the summer um when did the sun go down today uh seven hours ago about 1 45 p.m it'll be up at 9.30 tomorrow morning oh do you are you used to it can you handle it uh yeah we

we light a lot of candles drink a lot of wine that's nice you know go to bed really early You use one of those sad lamps? No, no, I don't believe in them. We just like candles and drink wine. That does it for me. Can't do that all day. No, that's true. We brought out some sweet treats because I knew that Dave would be interested.

So I have a few maribou. I do like a lot of them. Maybe I'm very happy to post these to you. I have not been able to find the one that you said you loved, the sort of. The popcorn one. Yeah, well, they used to do a crunchy corn one. They called it crunchy corn. And it was, had corn nuts in it.

But now they do one that has popcorn that I get sent reasonably frequently. Okay. All right. In that case, I won't bother. I'll just eat it myself. Yeah. I've got salted almonds, sea salt, and black licorice, which I will not be eating. You know what?

If you want to send the sea salt one, I know a stomach that would welcome it with open arms. Are you in a, do you live with a Swedish? person? No, I live with a Minnesotan. Oh, wow. They got a kind of a both kind of nice accent, right? Do they have complimentary accents? Yeah, they do. There's lots of yars, and asms and ars and times like that. Yes. But there was also like a big immigration from Sweden and a lot of them went to Minnesota. We were there last summer seeing family and there's a, if you go an hour or two out of St. Paul, there's a place, I think, called Scandia where there's a Swedish cultural heritage. Santa. And they sell this chocolate at a crazy markup.

Oh, of course. Yeah. Now, I'm just looking, I'm on the Umiya Wikipedia. And it's, I'm just seeing who is from there. Steeglarsen. Oh, yeah. Steelearson, yeah. From the girl who had that tattoo on her back. And NHL player Sebastian Aho, but not this good one. There's two Sebastian Ahos and one of them is Swedish and one is finish. The finish is the good one. I'd hate to come here and make that mistake. So, thank you for clarifying. So now, James, do you have a talent? Do you have a question? Do you have a riddle? Can you spit some rhymes? That we're adding that to the list late. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, that came in late. So unfortunately, I can't spit some rhymes. But I do have a question. Maybe a talent,

but I can't show you. But a question, I came to the podcast when you interviewed Adam Buxton, because I'm British and he comes from the same corner of England as me. And since then, I have been going tenet style, one episode a week forwards in time, and two episodes a week back. And I think a lot of your listeners do that, so they know your back catalog better than you do. Much better. I think somewhere, I've got it written down here somewhere like episode 470. You had Ryan Belleville on. Oh, yes.

And Graham, you've just been to see Get Out in the cinema. Yes. you were telling a story about how inappropriate the selection of trailers was before Get Out. It was none of the art house movies you expected. And one of them was for the fate of the Furious in the long-running Fast and the Furious franchise. And you correctly predicted, and I quote, as you know they're pulling out all the stops at this point, why not just go to space then or tunnel into the center of the earth? which four years later they did in Fasten the Furious 9

I think F9 So the future listeners who are coming back and listening to this you know in the future Graham since you probably go to a cinema more often than I do do you want to lay down any predictions for movies

that are going to jump the shark anything you've seen this year that maybe you can predict is going to lead away because I think you have a good hand for predicting cultural moments I think the movie that just came out this year, Weapons, which is an amazing, so much fun film, they're going to do a prequel to it, and that's not going to work, because the prequel would be about the aunt, and she's quite, you know, she's advanced age, so you'd have to deage her, and it's going to look weird, and I think it's better just let that movie be a standalone, so that's my prediction is that prequel is not going to have.

My prediction is they're going to do a sequel call Weapons for Good, and it's going to it's going to, you know, mostly be wicked. Oh, and also prediction, I don't think the other half of that, Fast and the Furious movie is ever going to get released. They released the one and they're tanked. And so I don't think we're ever going to find out

if he got out of that situation, whichever it was. Yeah. I feel for the fans who are hanging on. Oh, my God. I pray every day for them. My sister-in-law is a big fan of Vin Diesel, so, you know, she's upset. Renee? Yeah.

No, Sally's sister, Ron. Oh, okay. How, you got so many in-laws, and I know so many of their names. And I, anytime I hear of Vin Diesel, I always say, I read a book called Confessions of a Video Vixen, and she slapped with Vin Diesel and said he was a very warm and kind. the lover. That's good. Yeah.

Yeah. I will believe it. Not like how he's portrayed in the media. Yeah. As Groot. Well, James, thank you for staying up late after the sun went down so many hours ago. You're very welcome. If you're ever passing, come and see our threateningly named hockey team, the birch leaves.

Okay. In the Swedish league, they're pretty good, but they have a pretty unthreatened. name. And it seems like you have a giant clothes pin somewhere in the vicinity, according to the, uh, it's right outside my office. In the background, you might be able to see a sort of square building with wooden cladding and lots and lots of little windows. That might be in the background of that picture. And that's where I work. I think I can see it on your screen. Just clouds. Oh, clouds. Yeah, they're in my background too. Um, or is this a building that right next to it here. Uh, that is, yes, that's the contemporary art gallery. I'm in the architecture

school next door. I'm a university professor of architecture. So if we go to your town, we'll just meet you at the giant clothespin. Yeah. Yes. It'll be a gathering place. Yeah. Or muster. When and when that movie prediction comes true, I will see you there. Great.

Well, thank you. Happy New Year. Bye. You too. Oh, good. He left on his own. All right. Who do we got here? Now, the next person we have is, well,

It goes by the name Ryan. It goes by Ryan. And it's not Ryan Reynolds. Well, it's not Ryan Adams. I'm sure. And he's joining and it's all good. It's all happening. Ryan M.

Ryan M. Ryan M. Here he is. Hi, guys. Hey, how's it going? It's good. How are you? Good, good.

Solid all the way. Right out of the gates, for people who can't see what's going on, he, Ryan, has an insane amount of boats on the background. It does have, like, model boats. Yeah, lots of model boats. That is our mantle. It has boats on it. Ryan, go, boy, where are you from?

I'm in Newton, Mass, which is outside of Boston. And is there, this is sort of like Movie Dick country. it is moby dick country yeah actually um yeah moby dick there's like a whole um festival where they read moby dick uh at new bedford i think every year can you imagine taking your kids to that we're going to a festival oh it's just the reading of moby dick festival i think it takes about 26 hours it's like a long event oh wow yeah i bet oh yeah that's cool ships and bottles do you like do you hate i mean i i've never made one um no did you make these ones no i didn't we just we just i a while ago we happened to live near like a sort of

antique store that had uh had a lot of little ships and so we sort of thought well we'll have a nautical decor in one of our areas we live near this place i guess i live near a subway and i have subways all over my yeah he's got subways on his mantle Big, big painting of Jared that's been torn down. It's been torn down. Well, it was painted in a sort of, you know, archway, sort of an ad buzzer's pick. He's got devil horns and that. Now, Ryan, welcome to the show.

Thanks for calling in. Do you have a question? Do you have a comment? Do you, not a comment. I don't want any comment. No, we don't want any comment. I have a riddle. Compliments. We'll take compliments.

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, you guys are great. Thank you. I was hoping I could talk to the card guys. Oh, God, sure. Yeah, we're the card guys. We just need to summon them. Oh, card guys. Show is your card.

No Pokemon. Who won't be up there. No Pokemon. No Pokemon. Any card, but Pokemon. What do you got? What do you got cards wise? Yeah, I mean, I've got, I've got, some cards. I think I'd love to get your opinion. Are you a big collector of cards?

No, not really, but I have a few and, you know, I'd like to get them assessed. Do you collect anything? Oh, wait, tiny ships. The mental is almost full. I can't really do anything. Do you have a Billy Budd rookie card? Okay, what do you got? Okay, so, well, the first point I have

is, um, it's Bill Ripkin. it's uh he's a fuck face card yes that rules it's fuck face on it um i have it in a little a little container is this um uh did you find this did you buy this as uh like knowing it was famous i saw it out yeah okay it wasn't so you didn't get it in a pack that that would be great i mean if i if i had that that foresight is there a card company is there a card store in your town

I don't know. I don't think there's one here, no. I remember there being one when I was a kid. There might be some here, but like they wouldn't just be cards. No, yeah, but like when I was a kid, there would be just straight up. Tim Hurtons at Tim Hunter's car shop. All right. There's a store that had like models or you could get like model airplanes and stuff.

Oh, yeah. Well, you've been to that for sure, all these models in the background. Yeah. Oh, no. They're rassing me. Do you ever have to do Zoom work calls? And they're like, ahoy. Or is everyone in your town just like, oh, yeah, we all have ships on our.

This was, yeah, I mean, this was kind of like my background during the pandemic when I had to do calls. And I got people were like, yeah, it's the guy with the ships. Nice. Yeah. Looks good, man. It's good decor. I like it. Yeah, for that Billy Ripkin, I'd give you $500,000.

Me? Or, no, you know what? I would trade you that. for my board ape. Oh, the NFT. Mm-hmm. No, what's an

NFT? I just got this chimpanze who's like twiddling his thumbs over here. Remember when Jimmy Fallon bought one? Man, what a time. I thought they were like super cheap now, but I looked it up and they were too many Ethereum for me to buy. Can't you just sort of right-click

on them and hit save ass? Yep, safe to Boulder. Now I own it, too. Any more cards there, right? Yeah, more cards. Oh, yeah, well, I have this. Oh.

Oh. Which is a deck of cards. Yeah. Okay. So this is that I am. Charles. Charles, yes. Is who's the Joker card? Is it, who is it?

Oh, yeah. William. Do they have the, is the queen actually the queen? No, I think it's just, they're just regular. Just regular. They're not actually very interesting. each of them do have this same picture on them. They were, they were,

it was such a time before, before Camilla came along. It was, we could all believe in love, you know, with them. They always seem like such a cute couple together.

Yeah. I think they might still get back together. Yeah. No, you're right. Now, I just need, I'm still catching up on the news. I'm,

I'm at 1996. So I, well, let me tell you, don't sit down with me to watch leprechaun because you're not going to get to see it because the parents are going to turn it to CNN and you have to watch it all night

well goodbye England's rose now Ryan do you have one final card for the card guys oh yeah sure this is a blockbuster card nice I wonder if I have mine still I've got mine somewhere yeah they were

worth anything yes and you should put it in the Lusite like that other one yeah you really should Do you remember what the last thing you rented was at Blockbuster before? Yeah. Oh my God. Would that have been 2006, 2007?

Yeah. Mine, it was Magic Johnson and Arsenio Hall talk about AIDS. Did you learn anything from that? Man, I learned it all. Yeah. I learned you can't get it from a toilet seat, so then I went around licking toilet seats. No, no Someday there will be a pandemic

that you can get from a toilet scene And we'll see how civil lives we are as a society We'll have to learn to Wash our hands again Well, Ryan, this has been great Yeah, it's been great to see you guys We should do this more often I'll let you know if any

Any ships change back here. Okay. Absolutely. Have a good holiday. Bye. Bye. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we're going back into, uh, we put people. Yeah. We take people out and we put them in the waiting room. And a lot of people are just staying in the waiting room. Just hanging out?

Hello. Hello. Lauren. Oh, you're muted, you're muted. We need you to unmute. We can see your face. Cannot hear you. Can you hear us?

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. We're in the settings. Here we go. Hello. Can you hear us? There's a smile. I can now.

Hey, Lauren, how's it going? Going well. How are you guys? Good. Very good. Thank you for joining us. Where are you calling us from? Anchorage Alaska.

Oh, shit. That's way up there. Yeah. It feels it. Yeah. What's the hours of sunlight? What do you got? Oh, it's shitty right now.

It's, I think it just, the sun just came up like an hour ago. So it rises at about 10 a.m. And it sets at about 3.30 right now. Wow. Wow. But in the summer, ooh, buddy. No, no, ooh, buddy. No, the blackout curtains.

It's hot. There's no air conditioning here, which is, which, which, well, which I discovered when I moved here. It's a, it's a, it's a pill, the sun. It's all in your eyes. And it's always like a like a drive time hour of sun. It's always like a commute home from work after quite in time type of sun. It's always like right here.

Right. And yeah, yeah. Hey, it's the sun here at drive time here. We got a double shot of smashout. Lauren, maybe you could make a quick dollar bring in some air conditioning. up there to Anchorage. Nobody's got it. You can make a kill it.

Oh, I wish I could. Instead, we just all buy these little robots from Costco that pump out cold air. Oh, okay. What makes them robots? I don't know. Okay. They're just small and machini. Do you ever go to Juno and visit our past guest, John Do you ever go to Juno?

Actually, I used to live in Juneau. That's where I lived for my first two years here in Alaska. and I only found out that he even lived there when I was catching up on episodes later. But I do love hearing John Doher talk shit about Juno because I have all the same complaints. Oh, yeah. There's a shitty Fred Meyer. There's a bad movie theater. They close the one movie theater.

Yeah, yeah, it's a shame. I think I saw the whale there before I moved. Nice. You would have liked our previous caller. He had a big nautical theme. Oh, cool. I can't wait to hear. What brought you, where were you coming from when you moved to Alaska?

Phoenix, Arizona. Jesus Christ. You said I want the exact opposite of everything. Pretty much. I moved to the rainforest in Juneau, Alaska, and then moved over here to Anchorage. It's wild. It's wild. What brought you up there?

I'm happy to say it was work in conservation. Oh, nice. Work in trying to protect rainforests and Arctic landscapes. of Alaska, public lands. Is there, because in Churchill, Manitoba, which is lower geographically, I think, than Alaska, have polar bears roaming the kind of the countryside or whatever, and there, it's illegal to lock your car. Right, right.

Do you have that in Alaska? Well, it's kind of an unspoken thing. Up in the Arctic communities, which I go to often for work, like Ukiahevic, it's the northern most city in the United States. There are polar bears everywhere, and you're not supposed to lock your car for that reason. But I honestly think they could still get you. Yeah.

And people who are listening and being like, why wouldn't you lock your car? It's because they'll go joyriding in it. So you might as well just give it to them so they don't have to break in. Yeah. Now, Lauren, do you have a question? Do you have a talent? Do you have a riddle? Okay.

So I only have like one talent, and I could do an, okay Phoebe impression. That's it. This is from friends? That's right. Do you need any setup? Do we have to say a certain line to you to get your role? No, it just goes like, it just goes like this.

Close your eyes. Oh, no. That's good. That's really good. But in line, my other talent is, literally mainly other talent is a in-depth knowledge of Seinfeld. um oh yeah don't know if there's time to play maybe a quick mini version of the science game sure yeah do you have do you have one uh that you want to see if we can we can or do you want us to pull one up you pull one out i haven't studied for this but i've been studying for this my

whole life my only request is maybe like stay off of the first three seasons yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah, yeah. They hadn't quite divided up the storyline. Oh, that's true. You're right. I was playing it on vacation last week, and my brother is a savant at it. He got every single plotline no matter what the... And he remembered, like, specific jokes, and when scenes led into each other, it was wild.

Okay. So I'm going to give you one... I'm going to give you Kramer, and you have to give me the other three. Okay. Kramer is active in the renovation and reopening of the Alex movie theater. Oh, I know one of these, all right. Are we getting Lauren to do it? Are we also sending it?

Let's let Lauren do it. Okay, go for it, Lauren. Elaine has the issue with the button. Yep. And she is fighting with folks on the street about watering the sidewalk. And it gets the man to take his home. away. She's also actively avoiding Lloyd Braun

who believes that she is coming on to him. Yes. Or she believes he's coming on to her, but then of course vice versa. Okay. And let's see. George has he's out in Queens and he has

the neighbor lady whose whose father is tinkering with his car and then it gets all goofed up. And by the end of the episode Oh, he's also fighting with

Ruth shit the cash here at the rest at the coffee shop Ruthie Cohen Thank you Ruthie Cohen

Oh my God my friends would be so ashamed of me Ruthie Cohen and I believe that's the same episode with like hmm maybe not okay well anyway

The old guy is is his friends dad and his friend Dina has a suspicion about George. Right, that he's losing his mind. He keeps blaming it on Lloyd Braun and the whole thing with the

on Lloyd Brown and Ruthie Cohen. And then did you say the car catches fire? Yes. And then they can't the guy with the hose can't put it out because Elaine's already messed up his whole host thing and he only has a broom. Mm-hmm. And oh, God, yeah, I remember some of the other details of this. Why does the gentleman who Elaine is talking with, why is he think that she's flirting with him?

Because Lloyd Braun. Oh, because her button fell off and her breasts were hanging out all over the street. And that mom was like, lady, you got it. And then there's one of my favorite, you know, picks from any kind of Seinfeld thing that's a gif comes from this episode. I think you know what I'm talking about. Jerry's giant glasses. Yes. Goofy, googly eyes.

And they're all chewing gum. Oh, it's a very, this is this why you picked it? Because it's like a holiday episode. No. Oh, well, you could have said yes. And, yeah, this is what the holidays are all about, just three guys sitting around chewing gum, and it's very low-meaning in flavor.

Yeah, it's completely sane idea. And Jerry gave him... Completely sane food to eat. Jerry had the big glasses on, so he accidentally gave him too much money. A hundred, right. For a case of gum. Case of gum.

Well, I think it's everyone. Yeah, you nailed it. We've got kind of like a backlog of people here. So I'm just going to let the next caller join while you're still on. Oh, okay. We're looking at you, Nate. Well, that's very weird. It is very weird.

He doesn't even like you guys. Yeah, he calls us the banana boys. Yeah, what the hell? Nate, come on, it's your chance. It's your chance to shine. All right. Am I unmuted? Can you hear me?

You're unmuted, yeah. You're unmuted, but we can't see it? see you? What? Come on. Where is me? Come on. We can only see a cartoon

Avatar. There he is. Well, the cartoons, it's pretty similar, yeah. Yeah. You're in a car. How are you two know each other? Yeah, you know, we've been,

we've been a date for about three years and that she was going to be on here. We do. We have a dog, too. What's the dog's name? Dog's name? Leroy. Leroy.

Yes, little girl, little boy. little boy Yeah But you know Three years ago She suggested that I listened to your podcast And I did And you guys talked about bananas for a very long time

So that's why I tell you guys the banana boys Every episode We make time to talk about Chiquita Yeah More like Yeah what's your favorite ripeness For me? Yellow

Little bit of black This is the third time Sometimes I'll go full ripe Like a little green you know so there's a little more to do it too stiff too stiff the one sticks to me you got to challenge yourself i don't and i won't so there well Lauren is probably going to get fired because she's going to be at work at noon right Lauren that's true this is a valid excuse this is a valid yes yes i did want to come on because i think that your podcast is important or a relationship

it's been three years and i left you a little present there on that desk Lauren And this Amazon gift wrap? Yeah, I thought it would be fun to open that on the air of your favorite podcast. This is fun. Oh, wow. Oh, shit. You made too many gnats here. It's not Gwen to Paltrow's head, is it?

Oh, my God, I would love that. I hate Winifadro. Oh, okay. It's a little box. Before you open the box, I just wanted you and the world to know that I love you very, very much. I can't imagine my life without you. And I know you've already given me three years, but if you don't have anything going on, the rest of forever, would you marry me? Oh, wow. Gets! Ah! Oh, my God! It's the weird little ring for Facebook Marketplace I like!

Yeah, she's been pretending that she hasn't sold that for about eight months, so I got to let her know. she can take that off. Oh, wow. Oh, it fits. Oh, my God. I'm engaged. Did you say yes? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. I'm sorry. I was having a panic attack, so I didn't know what's going on. Sorry, I'm like, I had too much. Wow.

I've been so nervous. Ever since Nate asked for this, I've been so nervous. Yeah. I'm sitting here in the car under like the one AT&T. 5G Antonin Anchorage Hope you never Drop a call in the middle of this Oh man Congratulations you guys

Oh my goodness Oh we've taken up so much time On this year episode Hey you know what If anybody wants to make a life-changing decision on our show Then absolutely they can Yeah

This is a great Suska too You want to That's your job Maybe we'll go get a drink or something Or you just got to go right to work I do got to go right to work. I'll see you out there.

Okay. Well, this is a follow-up to you boys are a plan B, I guess, because I originally asked him to get David Hyde Pierce, too, for both. I know, he told us. I told them that, yeah. I thought maybe they would have them on here with us. Oh, my God. That's too hard to get.

Niles, my God. We'll keep trying. Okay. Well, that was great. I was great. Yeah. Enjoy your life together, lovers. Thank you.

Oh, my goodness. And then Ruthie Cohen, I think she goes by, walks by on a horse later. That's true. Oh, yeah. And Central Park. Okay. This is Seinfeld related, dear. Okay.

It was awesome. Good luck, everybody. Bye. Thank you. Bye. I think this next caller is going to tell their certificate that they're pregnant? I was, that could have gone so bad.

Oh, but it turned out all right. We're all fine, right, everybody? Good evening. Thanks for tuning in to 101.1 Max Fun. It's midnight here on host to coast, and we've got Sarah for Michigan on line one. Hi, I'm calling him for some help. I used to love reading, but between grad school, having kids and the general state of the world, I can't seem to pick up a book and stick with it anymore. Sarah, this is an easy one. Just listen to Reading Glasses, a podcast designed to help you read better. Brea and Mallory will get all the pressure, shame, and guilt out of your reading life. You'll be finishing books you love in no time. Great. That sounds amazing. Also, I do think my husband is cheating on me with Mothman. Can you help me with that one?

Ooh, I don't think they cover that. Reading Glasses every Thursday on Maximum Fun. If you do, you should also have a favorite Star Trek podcast. Greatest Trek is about all the new streaming Star Trek shows, and it's a great companion to The Greatest Generation, our hit show about Back Catalog Star Trek that you grew up with. It's a comedy podcast by two folks who used to be video producers, so it's a serious mix of comedy and insight that fits right into the maximum fun network of shows. And Greatest Trek is one of the most popular Star Trek podcasts in the world.

So if you're following Lower Decks, Prodigy or Strange New Worlds, Come hang out with us every Friday as we roast and review our favorite Star Trek shows. It's on maximum fun.org, YouTube, or your podcatching app. Hello, hello, caller, are you there? Now, how far behind are we? Oh, we're 20 minutes behind. 20 minutes, that's fine. Hi, sorry, we're late.

Hi, guys, how are you doing? Good, how are you? Is it Niles? Or is there, how do you, Nile? Nile? It is Nile. My girlfriend would like it to be Nile's huge Fraser fan that she has. Oh, my God. It's going around. Nile, where are you contacting us from? I am in Merry Old England. I'm in a place called Sunderland in the northeast of England. Okay. And is you, do you grow up there? Is that the accent from up north?

It is not. Can I give you guys another guess? Oh, yeah. Sure. Australia. Yeah, I was. Maybe not. Try one more. Oh, Benedict Cumberbatch. It is me. It is me, Benedict Cumberbatch.

How did you guess? Are you Irish? I am very much Irish, but I've been here a long time, so it might not come across as... No, it very much comes across. No, it very much comes across. ...didly idle as it used to. And why did you make the leap from Ireland into jolly old Britain? Oh, it's too long ago.

It was a short-lived thing, and then you get children and a mortgage, and then you can never go home again. So that's what happened. Well, congratulations. It's not that funny. It's very boring, sorry. If I go to your town, what is the one thing I got to see? Oh, that's a good question.

They have a thing here called the Stadium of Light. So it's the biggest football stadium in this area. It's called the stadium that's for Sunderland Play. And that's, I guess, the most famous thing from around here. Beyoncé always plays here, which is always very funny because it's a very industrial northern working class town. And when Beyonce updates her social media to say that she's in Sunderland, the cognitive dissonance is huge, who is an extremely glamorous person in our not very glamorous part of the world.

Well, you know that she stayed at whatever the most expensive hotel there was, so. I don't think she stayed here. I think she might have a floating hotel in the sky or something. I doubt she spent much time here. Can I tell you another Sunderland fact? Yes, please. In, you know, the movie The Holiday? Have you guys seen the movie The Holiday?

I have. Is that the, with Cameron Diaz? And Jack Black. Black and Jude Law. Yeah, it's Jack. Jack Black's foray into a romantic leading man status that he has given up maybe not so much maybe I didn't see

Minecraft was he a romantic in that he gets romantic with a zombie I think he got married to a chicken jockey or something I think that's right I don't know he something like Mr. Mrs. chicken jockey Do you have a question you have a talent

Oh yeah I didn't tell you my Sunday Yeah what was the The holiday yeah Oh yeah yeah yeah Yeah So in the movie

The holiday Cameron Diaz is scrolling through You know She's doing some sort of house swap She's scrolling through places in England To go live Or to temporarily go for holidays And she's on the SUs

The Sierra umbrellas of the thing And she finds Surrey But just above it is Sunderland And it would have been such a different movie if she'd clicked on Sunderland. She would have come to quite the working class. It wouldn't have been snowy, leafy,

Jude Lord. It would have been a guy with a beerbelly and a neck tattoo who supported the Sunderland Football Club. So it would have been such a good movie. It feels like Jack Black would be able to slide into that role, no problems. I bet I bet I got a big laugh in the theater over there.

Oh, it's so good. I bet, yeah. Well, I don't know if anyone's noticed. I'd like to think it's my own. fact, but I bet everyone over here notices it, to be fair. My favorite kind of thing in that regard is whenever you see alien ships or volcanoes that have exploded on like an American map, Canada always says nothing.

Nothing's going off in Canada. It stops right to the border. Yeah. Now, Nile, do you have a question? Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I don't. I have my apologies. I was going to keep going with her.

No, keep going, keep going. Independence. Yeah. I was just going to riff you guys by Independence Day when they shoot all of the major movies. Do you think? Like. Anything somehow knew about it?

They was. And they did their studying. They were like, yeah, we got to blow up the, the White House. Yeah. The Eiffel Tower. These guys, we're going to take these places down. Yeah. And then I think like my favorite scene in the whole movie is where they're calling the different

countries to tell them how to disarm the alien ships. And the French countries like guys in dress like the French resistance. Sitting around like a wine bottle. It was pretty good. I love any movie where there's a worldwide

scene like, you know, in Bill and Ted and everybody's dancing in their kitchens or whatever. In, you know, in Egypt they're dancing in front of the pyramids. Yeah. Britain, they're very stiff over lip, dancing like Mary Poppins. You know, I love that kind of thing. In Ireland, they're dancing at the end of a rainbow.

It's very over. It's great. I assume you want me to stay on all night because... I mean, yeah, yeah. What's your favorite scene in all of the Independence Day? I used to like when Will Smith said, oh, no, you did not just shoot that green shit at me. That used to make me laugh. But I'm a big next generation guy, or I used to be.

So I like when Brent Spiner is in it being the hyper nerdy scientist who gets his larynx controlled by the alien, that's quite funny. That's a good scene. Obviously, his speech. Bill Pullman. Yeah, so good.

Oh, he nearly wanted to stand up in the theater and cheer. He was like, I mean, he was going through a hard day. His house was just blown up. Well, guys, it's been great. Nile, thanks for Colin. Can I? Can I do my quick jokes that I wrote for you? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, sure. Okay. You didn't let me do my thing because I kept talking. I didn't let me do my thing. We didn't ask if you had something to say. And I have not stopped talking. I've certainly done my Irish stereotype, no good at all. I have three jokes.

I've never been to Canada. They're Canadian-related. All right. They're all bad. I want you you guys can respond to them as you see fit by cutting me off. if you want to. Shall I go? Yes.

Okay. Now you wait for permission to back. I've been zinged by Dave and I love it. Feels good, doesn't it? It feels so good. That's why the only reason I came on. Did you guys know that Montreal is French for Mitriol? Thank you.

Not bad. Is that okay? That's great. Yeah. Okay. This one's tortured. I'm sorry. So did you know that Canadians are really fancy?

They eat fries, gravies and cheese curd on little salted crackers. They really like Putin on the Ritz. Ah, there we go. I was like, where is this going? It's somewhere Putin related, but the cracker thing caught me. I'm sorry about that. And then my last one, and then you can cut me off.

If you're going to cut me off, now you're in control. Oh, yeah. Well, hurry, hurry. My fingers ain't really itchy. So did you know The last time I went to Canada I caught hepatitis A Thanks,

Those were great Canadian jokes Thanks for joining us Bye Nile Lovely to meet you Happy Christmas guys Yeah you too Bub Who's next

We're looking at Anvite I think it's Avnit Oh sorry Avnit Yes all right Avnit Welcome aboard

Have neat Yes Now joining us Okay we got the way There we go visual contact Hello Hello Hello sorry we're 25 minutes late

No it's okay We had a proposal Yeah somebody proposed And they said yes Yeah You said yes So if you want to do anything With your significant other

Or whatever we're here for you If you want to drop a bomb I'm by myself Okay that's fine Amvite Where are you from? Sorry Avnit I keep saying it backwards

Where are we communicating with you too from? I'm communicating to you with you from Caledon, Ontario. Where's that? This is a question I was thinking about this and I realized I was probably going to be asked this

and I'm not good at directions. I'm going to say 40 minutes north of Toronto And if anyone listening knows that that's wrong, I'm just going to pretend not to know that. What is, uh, what, do you have the world's biggest something in that town? There's a lot of them in Ontario. Wait, is this right by Canada's Wonderland?

It's like 20 minutes away from Canada's Wonderland. That's pretty close. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, compared to where you are. It's just sort of like when I Google maps it, it was the, the biggest thing. Nearby. My fun fact, we don't have a biggest thing.

But Caledin, you might recognize the name as the villain in Titanic. Oh, yeah. He's Caledin Hawley, and he's named after Caledon and Hawley Valley, which is near here. Is that his name's Cameron from around there? Apparently, his grandparents lived in Orangeville. Oh, yeah. I know. I'm familiar with the area, yeah.

Has it asked, who's from Orangeville? Is James Hartnett from Orangeville or Jackie Piroko? Maybe Jackie Pee. Anyway, I can keep these fruit things straight. They don't have a statue of them yet. They only have Orange Lawrence. What do you do there in your small hamlet? I am a graphic designer and an illustrator.

Nice. And I do that from my hamlet. Nice. You're the first graphic designer we've spoken. into today, not including the other one. Yeah, I'm a stereotype of a spy listener. Yeah, you're our target demographic.

This is who we want to be involved with. If I go to your town, what do I got to see? What's the number one thing I got to check out? And also, what do you have under there? What's up, Doug? Oh, my God. That's what

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. There's a puppet. She's pulled out a puppet. Oh, my God. This is, oh, this is fantastic. The puppet is much like its puppeteer wearing glasses. Mm-hmm.

And is wearing like a very, poor eyesight, wearing kind of a Christmas hat hairband or like Christmas tree hair band. And is this, what is the name of this here character? It's also happening. Oh, really? Okay, so it's a duo. It's me. It's very much in the Muppet style of the big, you know, spherical face. And do you make this puppet? Yeah, I made this puppet.

So here's my question, because somebody told me there's something called the Henson Stitch, which you do so that the thread, the seam doesn't show up. And that's how they did like Kermit. They used the Henson Stitch. so there you go next time you build a puppet I'll Google it Can we hear from the puppet? No, no She's shy, yeah, she's a shy puppet

I kind of like that as a She's whispering to you and what does she have to say? Hello? I just love this as a concept Like somebody has a puppet and the puppet doesn't want to talk about only whisper in the air the performer

What said you want to say? She said she's really happy to meet you. Oh, well, tell her we're This is confusing because you're both named Aveni Well, Aveni Does Avonit have any questions or talent? Oh, she's nodding and whispering. She's whispering, yeah, whispering, okay.

I wonder what her voice sounds like. Yes. Yes. Yeah, the talent. Okay, what's she telling you? Didn't like that. Oh, well, you know what? Roll with the punches, okay?

Yeah, come on. What she wanted to know, she said she has one question for Graham, and she wants to know what your favorite horror movie of the year was. It was probably weapons. I really enjoyed weapons, and I thought it was like, the closing scene is one of the funniest wildest scenes I've seen in years. So it was worth it just to get to that scene at the end.

So really enjoyed it. How about you? Yeah, she's whispering. Yeah. She loved weapons. I'm too scared to watch it. So she watched it without me. Oh, that's pretty convenient.

You can just drop her in front of any, like, TV screen and walk away. Yeah, and you could also maybe put her in front of some dishes, and then when you come back, they're all done. yeah it's scary um but she's really she's quick she um she doesn't like washing dishes though she gets wet oh sure yeah so it's yeah it's tough um she is so cute so cute and wearing a like a christmas sweater too if i'm not right yes yeah and it has elmo and cookie monster on it oh man this is very on brand very very much yeah i don't know i was i was I was thinking maybe it's weird for a puppet to be wearing a puppet sweater.

But then we humans wear humans on our clothes sometimes. Oh, totally, all the time. I'm like darting around looking for what do I have, it would be puppet. Or what do I have that would be a human on my thing? I guess I, you know, you get, I do have this shirt with the supermodel Cindy Crawford on it. That would be a very funny shirt to wear. Look, okay, I found this. Found this in the background?

This is Harry from Harry in the Hendersons. What's that? Oh, he wants to know. He's a whispering to gray. What is the, what would you say is the word of the year? If it wasn't six, seven, what is it? Is that what you wanted to ask? Who are you asking?

Yeah, that's. I'm asking either. Open floor. I guess Super Calvarez was a good word of the year. any any answer from the puppet on your end um I can't I can't say that she said something really inappropriate wow she nasty

well Avenny thank you so much for for calling in and you as well Aveni yes thank you to both of you have very yeah what does she want to say she wants to say something she wants to say happy holidays oh well happy holidays to both of you and I say happy holidays okay well thanks so much all right

all right bye bye bye I always forget how to get rid of the people this that was great that was some some solid Muppet puppet content I think our next person is going to do some puppetry wait of the penis uh oh

probably not though I would think that was a joke oh Well, it looks like there's two, or maybe that's just the... That's just the avatar. The avatar, yeah. Looking at Eric. Eric, are you? Join us, Eric.

Hello. Hello. Oh, my gosh, it's you guys. It's you. Look at us. We're all together. Hi, sorry we're 27 minutes late. Oh, that's okay.

I gave me time to set up everything and be ready and then calm down. Okay. You're here. You're fine. We recommend people, like, just do a few shots of Yeager or whatever. Goldschlager. You know, a lot of people, this is controversial opinion. A lot of people hate the taste of Yeager, but I kind of like it.

It's kind of licorchy. Yeah. It's a gateway into Boots for your life. You're right about the second. You're right about both parts, but people who don't like it say, I don't like it. It's kind of licorchy. That's true. It's a good point.

How many Yeager bombs do you think you've done in your life? Roughest. Oh, my gosh. What is a Yeager bomb? Yeah, actually, that's a good question. Is a Jaeger, a shot of Yeager dropped into... Jumped in a beer. Beer?

Oh. I've heard of Red Bull. Oh, what is the Red Ball? I don't know if that's... I'll be honest. I just drank it straight, like a shot. Oh, really? Yeah.

I've never done... Maybe I have done a bomb of some kind. I heard that if you drop Ammer into a beer, it tastes like Dr. Pepper. So I think I did that. I mean, I've done, yeah, I've done things where you do that. And then you're supposed to be careful that it doesn't, the shot class doesn't slide down and smash your teeth at the end. Yeah.

So I've survived. Yeah. And you look great. Thank you. I wore my little pin for you guys. Yeah. Yeah. You got the little bit in.

It says. Yeah. It's a little square. It's a little square. No freaking way, man. Yeah. I love it. We need to come up with our idea for next year's thing.

Puppetry of the penis. I thought we would agree. Puppetry of the penis. Yeah, that would be pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, we had a lot of good buttons. And then I got confused this year because I was checking. I became a pin level member.

And then I was wanted, I asked him like, did you get it? Or, you know, because they're like, send us your address. And just check it in. And I said the wrong button or the wrong pin. And then that confused maximum month. on further because they're like, wait, what are you talking about? Because I couldn't remember which phrase I picked. Oh, sure.

From which year it was. You got to be gentle with them. They're worker owners. Yeah. And you know what? This year's slogan, get your shit together. Yeah, the catchphrase we've been saying all year. Yes, I love it.

Now, I want to say Eric. Where are you? Oh, I'm in Chicago. Nice. Illinois. All right. The land of Lincoln. Oh, cool.

um what uh do you have like a question do you have a riddle do you have a talent do you have we've only had one riddle oh i didn't yeah i didn't think of that that's all right uh i got well i had a couple options i'd let i thought of so one one's talent um i'm an art guy so you could ask some art history question or something of me hmm okay what's the best art. Oh. Well, I mean, I'm really into painting and drawing, so I would say that's the best, but that's a personal choice. I mean, what's the best piece of art? Oh, oh, boy. Oh, my gosh. I'll say, well, this is actually my friend's favorite piece, but she would be right on top of it, so I'll defer to her. She likes the Mademoiselle Avignon by Picasso. Perfect. Yeah.

An absolutely perfect answer to the question. I'll let her know. Oh, yeah, those are naked ladies. I can see it right now. Yeah. This is sort of like, I've always said about this piece that it was painted in 1907, and it's part of the protocubism movement. Yes, many have said your, yeah. And you know you can find it at the Museum of Modern Art, or as I call it, the MoMA.

And it was acquired through the Lily P. Bliss. bequest. What do you think about Damien asked? You know more about it than I do now because I didn't know who bequested. Oh, yeah, that was bequested. Eric, hit us.

Hit us with whatever you want to hit us with. Oh, I also have an art question. Yeah, let's do it. What is Mona Lisa smiling at? Oh, my gosh. Crude answer, she just farted. Oh, I think she's getting away with it. Follow-up question.

Where are the Venus de Milo's arms? no one knows and I think actually I think I mean I know they they were at one point attached to her

but there's been a lot of writing around how like the lack of arms makes it complete or is like what makes it classical and cool she had that arm

it would be like who gives it shit right? Yeah and actually as an early art assignment we had in junior high

was to draw the Venus of Demilo his arms. And I just had him folded. Like, she was like, I'm done. Okay, another question. Saturn, and when Saturn's devouring his son, um, like, did he not have like, uh, was he just like hangary? Yeah, did he not have a ham sandwich line?

Yeah. Yeah. I think he's, yeah. I don't know. Um, well, yeah, you're in Saturn, you're not yourself when you're hungry. No, you're not. I don't know, maybe he was just like, oh, yeah, I love you so much. I'm going to eat you up. And then I can really eat it. Now hit us. Hit us with whatever you would like to know.

Okay. I have a card guy's question. Excellent. We got to bring these guys out again. Yeah. Yeah. Who's at the door? Oh, card guys.

Oh, come on in. Hey, we're the card guys. Oh, yes. We got to tell you up front, no Pokemon. That's right. Well, I've got X-Mond. X-Files, actually, not X-M-X-M-X-Files card. That's an unopened X-Files.

An open package of X-Files. Is that from the 90s? Yes, it's vintage, vintage X-Files. That's awesome. So actually, it is open, but I kept the wrapper, you know, so it would be collectible. That's not how I am with all my condoms. Yeah. Nice.

It's annoying how. many condoms Dave has filed away. No, just the rappers. I keep the wrappers. But it's like

the Dewey like in a library you get the drawer. That decimal system is very dewey. Nice. So here's a little ASMR.

I don't know if that picking it up. Oh, we love it. Yeah. So there's some bizarre ones. There's a lot of like

fan art or maybe they're professional comics, but I don't know. Oh, It's like a skull made out of technology. Yeah.

Scary. You know what? I think that's the best art now that I've seen it. Yeah, you're right. It's part of the beginning credits. Oh, nice. A hand working on like hieroglyphics or something? I can't whistle very well.

Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I can't whistle because I'm smiling. Oh. yeah what's his name can you see his name deep throat deep throat that's deep throat that's deep throat uh man it was the fact that somebody would pick that as a nickname before the porno situation came along is insane that that would be your nickname deep throat yeah i thought it was named after the porno situation oh it might be in it maybe it was the porno first i mean that makes sense oh you like the informant was like this is my favorite movie call me deep

Yeah, it was like, it was in the zeitgeist at the time. I always assumed I didn't. That's a good point, yeah. Dave went to porno school. I did just Google Deep Throat and may God have mercy on myself. Awesome. Oh, here's just a little checklist. Oh, of other cards to check out?

You could keep your eyes open for those. Oh, here's a good one. It's like a doll with a... Ew. See, I don't like these. I don't like the ones that are just like art inspired by X-Mell. Yeah, they just wanted to be hired... David DeCovey and a Speedo.

Yeah, I don't have that one. Like, I haven't seen Scully or Molder yet. I know. Yeah. I think the closest I got was Deep Throat. I got this. I think it's a ghost on camera. Oh, careful.

Oh, that looks like the Mr. Burns. Yeah. oh yeah love yeah totally yeah that's really good that's a sweet one let's see here's i'm saving the craziest one for the end so this is a lead up it's a i don't know an ear with a worm in it oh i don't like that at all that theme song's kind of an earworm it is how does it go hey there spooky guy what What are you doing in the woods? I want to believe, but I don't think I can. No, just believe.

It's super easy. Okay, are you ready for the craziest one? I am. This is also a classic episode. Oh, freaky thing. An alien and a, like, what is it? It's like a frozen alien baby. Yeah.

Frozen alien baby. Yeah. In the cryology lab at Fort Maryland high containment facility. this alien fetus and that's like alien fetus is highlighted one of several in liquid nitrogen containers oh okay

and so are they gonna let these babies out ooh let the alien fetus out then there's the back you can see some humans in tanks and then they kind of stretched it out to fit it again on the back that isn't the greatest Photoshop work

yeah no it seems very 90s they're like we can stretch things in Photoshop now. If an alien baby came out and was in the public eye, what would you want to ask that alien baby?

I assume they know how to speak because they're I guess. I guess did you come from outer space? Were you born here? I don't know. I'm just a baby. See? That's how that would go. Well, welcome. Oh, that's very nice of you.

Thank you. Well, Eric, I'm sorry to say It's the sun is setting On our call today Understood It's been fun Thank you for sharing your crazy cards with us Yes, thank you so much

And keep up the good fight And Off I go Okay, bye Okay, bye There we go And we've got two more calls But I worry that the last caller is going to be like

I'm just going to fucking wait around for half an hour? All right, let's try this person who's just named iPhone. iPhone, Matthew we're looking for. Matthew? We're looking for a Matthew. Is this Matthew or is this iPhone?

Matthew, welcome aboard and come along. Yeah, come along. We see some unmuting. This is happening. It's all something's, you know, the technology's not perfect. There we go. Oh, sorry, we're so late. That's all right.

All you guys are doing? Good. How are you? I am great. I'm excited to talk to you. I've been listening to you guys for a really long time. You've probably got some scores to settle stuff like that. Is this Matthew? Yes. Hello. Where are you joining us from? Marietta, Ohio.

Which one? Mariana. Marietta, Ohio. Okay. Yeah, there's a couple of Marietta's down here. Really? In Georgia, there's another one, yeah. Do you think you've got the superior town of the two? I don't know. I've never been to the Dojo one. That would be my first thing, too.

I've been to Vancouver, Washington, and it sucks. Oh, yeah, maybe I'll have to make a script there. I'll call back next year and let you know. You ever been to Miami, Ohio? I have. I think that's probably the worst Miami. It probably is the worst one, yeah. Now, what do you do there in Ohio?

How do you pass the hours? A lot of biking. Okay. There's good mountain biking in the area. could do that and road bike. Downhill biking seems very scary to me. How can you convince yourself that it's okay to do that?

That's a good question. I have done through downhill a couple of times. There's a resort called Snowshoe Mountain. It's in the middle of West Virginia. It's a few hours away from here. And I've gone there a couple of times and it can be pretty scary. I stick to

the blue and greens, but it still is a lot of hugging the brakes. Yeah. That's all would be doing. Oh, I'd be walking my bike down. That would be what I was doing. I'm blue and green's not for me. I'm black diamond all the way. Oh, wow. Yeah, of course. The way I roll, literally. Yeah. Dave's so

good, he doesn't even need a bike. He could run down the hill. I'm getting into tumbling these days. Yes, yeah. Follow his tumblers. Do people still have tumblers? Surely they must. What do you mean? Oh, like the website? Yeah, the website.

People still do tumblers? I always think like that class are tumblers. Oh, I was thinking of like a rock tumbler. Oh, yeah, rock tumbler. For smoothing my gems. I just keep mine on in the background all the time. I just, once in a while, I'll throw in a new rock and see what comes out. Matthew, what do you do?

What is your profession, if I may be so bold as to ask? I am an English professor. English professor, okay. If you could tell me, what's the best one? word. Nice word. Wow. I figure you should know it.

You know, I've never ranked them. I'm not sure. Hmm. The answer we were looking for is Anvil. Anvil is the best word. Okay. Because it means what it is. Exactly.

And it's a real life thing and it's a cartoon thing. What's your favorite book you teach? I am a gigshan of Frankenstein. Yeah. And I try to teach that whenever I can. Did you like the new Frankenstein film? I am like right in the middle of watching that. So I have a movie watching schedule that's a lot like Elliot Kalins from the Flop House

because I have a young daughter. He famously watches movies while he does the dishes. And my movie watching is usually at the end of the day in chunks. Okay. You could probably watch a big chunk of it while you're on hold with us. So you're watching the movie. pieces, much like Frankenstein's monster.

That's right. Am I an English teacher now? Seems like I've got a pretty good handle on things. That'd be a good point to bring up in class. Well, teacher, in a way, these chapters are kind of like chunks of a monster.

Teacher, tell me I'm good. Teacher is the monster's canon in the Frankenstein universe. Teacher, teacher, teacher. Fire bad. Because you've, you've read Frankenstein. Is Igor in Frankenstein or is, where did we come up with Igor?

I think the first version of that was in the Boris Karloff movie. Oh, okay. So it was a, it was a Hollywood invention. Yeah, it's one of those things like every great actor wants to play Igor over, like the Joker or whatever. They'll go on to get the author after that. Yeah. Who's the guy that plays him in Young Frankenstein?

Marty Feldman? Maybe Marty Feldman. I don't know who Marty Feldman is. Is that who that is? That could be him. So do you have a question? Do you have a talent? Do you have, what do you bring into the table here?

Well, since I'm an English professor, I wanted to play a short game involving novels. okay because I know you've talked a lot about reading habits in the past and how much you do or don't read and stopping in the middle of this so what I've done is I have four titles

two of them are made up two of them are real and I have a one to two sentence description of each of these the plot summaries and I am going to see if you all can guess which ones are real and which ones are made up early prediction we will not

yeah well it's a 50-50 shot either way right that's true so you're bound to get someone of them, right? Okay, fire away. All right. First one is the title's gravity's rainbow. And the summary is Tyroon Slothrop travels across Europe near the end of World War II in a shaggy dog spy story. He rescues a woman from an octopus, eats gross candies, and predicts V2 rocket strikes by having sex where they will hit. What is it called again? Gravity's rainbow. Oh. I'm going to go Say that's real. It's real. And he's real. It's a novel written by Thomas Pynchin.

Love it. Pinch dog. That's famous. That was too famous. Yeah. I think you tried to throw us off with the candy thing, but I like books can have candy. Now that being said, have I read it? Oh, buddy. You better believe I haven't. I'm not reading it right now. So, yeah. I'm not reading a lot of books. You can't. You've got a daughter. Do you want me to? read any books for you and send you a summary? Yeah. He's better than AI in that regard.

Yeah, that's true. I do the work. That's true. Okay. Next, next book. Okay, number two, the title is Straub Oak. Fake. Straub Oak? Strob Oak. Two best friends participate in a team building

exercise for their employer in which one of them is hurt during an accident. One friend tries to keep it from the other that he had caused the accident because he was distracted by a woman. hmm this sounds like maybe it was I only like stories about two friends who are make a pact to lose their virginity before prom yeah I've read

American Pie of the novelization American Pie 2 novelization all the way down the line I'm just just because you said there was a 50 50 50 chance we're right boy we've lost one of our reels so I'm going to say this is fake okay

I am going to say this is real all right that is fake now is this an idea you came up with yeah that could be a book that could easily be a short story yeah don't don't just lose that you've already come up with a good premise so tagline for it yeah the hard part is done

yeah uh what's the tagline if I can hear it or just that short description oh okay it isn't like safe to go back yeah this summer revenge is on the menu or whatever. Okay, I got that one wrong. Dave got it right.

Hit us with another one. Okay. Okay. The title is Divine Days. Here's the summary. The main character is a struggling playwright who is attempting to write a play about his family while he's also working in a bar

that used to house a storefront church. He has just returned to the city and runs into a lot of old friends. Well, it sounds like I'm going to option it for a movie. Yeah, yeah. But I'm also saying it. Maybe Ethan Hawk type.

Oh, maybe an Ethan Hawk type. But I'm also going to say it's fake. Yeah, I think it's fake. This one is real. It's written by Leon Forrest. Well, we send him our regards. Yeah. So is the last one, is it by default fake?

Oh, yeah, I guess it's failing in the game. Yes. We nailed it. What? Are you currently reading? What's on your, what's on your bookshelf? What's on your nightside table? I am reading a book by Ian McEwen that just came out this year.

It's called What We Can Know. Okay. And what can we know? Spoilers. Yeah. There's a lot that we can't. I think where the book is going. Oh, there's a lot that we can.

Yeah. Well, there's probably, there's a ton. I can't. I know that for you're reading Frank. It's line. What's your favorite piece of Frank? The book or the creature. The creature.

Yeah. Oh, boy. Man, you're hitting me with the hard questions today. Yeah, yeah. You're lucky I'm not in your thoughts. I would go with this beautiful beastung lips. You know, in the novel, it never says if he's got the neck bolts or not, but that would probably be my favorite part.

Yeah. It's implied. Yeah. Or giant shoes. These are other things he had. Oh, what's the Seinfeld joke about the sport coat? Yeah, he's wearing his workout. Well, all right, Matthew.

Thanks so much for hanging around and for talking to us. Yeah. Happy New Year. Hi, happy New Year. Have a good holiday. You too. I never know how to get rid of them. And our final caller.

Oh, my gosh. How late? How late are we? We're 40 minutes late. And is she still there? She's still hanging out? We got her. We got her.

We're looking at Meal? Sorry, we're so late. Oh, my God. I'll forgive you. That's okay. That's nice of you. You know what the problem is?

We're late for everyone. So everyone has to like, oh, we feel bad like, oh, this person's stuck around an extra five minutes. Let's talk to them for an extra 20. Meal, thanks. You are our final caller. So there's no.

Oh, Jesus. Okay. There's no need to like. end the show. There's no, we can go as long as you want. We're not going to hustle you off at the end. Perfect. Okay.

Dave's not going to. I'm really going to give you the old box. Yeah, Graham has been squirming in his seat. He's got a real full bladder. What are you calling us from, Camille? I'm calling from Seattle, Washington. Ah, the Emerald City. Exactly.

It is very green here. I love Seattle, and I haven't been down all year because of this crazy border of ours. But I miss it. I miss Seattle. I like going there often. So, and I assume it misses me, correct? Oh, yeah. I mean, people in the streets are crying, where is Graham?

We need him. Gluten-free bread is going bad. Honestly, it is. Yeah. There's a lot of gluten-free bakeries, and they're just, they're hurting for customers right now. Yeah, and I would be able to solve that problem in a second. Graham, sorry, Camille, I need to ask Grave a question about. Yes.

free bread is there like um have you found one that's your favorite the one that you can get from Costco really good it's really good toasts really well uh which a lot of gluten free breads do not they do not toast well and Costco famously from well near seattle yeah irkland kirkland i guess you're wearing you're wearing headphones that look like they're from the 1980s Yeah. And they rule. And are they from the 1980s? They are not. They're cost porta pros. Actually, my partner bought these and they were like, I don't like them. And I was like, well, I will buy you new headphones and I will take these because they look cool. They do look cool. Yeah, I can be the most esoteric person on the bus in Seattle, which is, you know, kind of a high bar to clear.

Now, do you, here's a question about riding the bus in Seattle. If you get on the bus and somebody is sitting on the outer seat and there's nobody sitting next to them. Do you squirm in there or do you just like, you figured it out, you've blocked me off of the seat? Oh, yeah. I feel like in Seattle, in general, people try to avoid as much interaction as possible. So, yeah, there's no, please could you move over or anything? It's just like, I will just stand and wait for the person to get off.

I was the same and I decided this year to change that. It's been a game. It's honestly, it's a whole different thing. Yeah, exactly. I'm not afraid to ask, I'm also not afraid to ask somebody to move that bag that they think is saving the seat. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Yeah, I need the window seat. Graham gets the window, and then he breathes on the window and please pick-tac-toe with himself. Well, you're being the change you wish to see in the world, so that's really admirable. Camille, Camille, Camille. Is that right? We talk to a lot of people today.

What, uh, do you have any, like, um, questions or riddles or talents or comments i'm sorry to cut you off graham oh that's okay i think we got the the bulk of what we're going for uh camille do you have anything on the agenda yeah okay so i have different questions for each of you which you're free to cross over but they're more specific okay so um graham i know you're a big thrift store shopper and like secondhand shopper i'll answer this one which i am as well and also i am wearing in a spree shirt that I thrifted and I did think of it's a spree

for boys what was that brand it was no my my family or one Christmas my sisters loved a spree and my parents got me a sweater I was like eight I like nothing would have satisfied no sweater would have satisfied me and

and it was Departures was the name of the brand Departures yes and my sisters said oh Dave departures this boy's as spree like to get me to like the sweater But, yeah, so I thought of that one. Yeah, oh, I was going to say, could you hold that bit? Yeah, yeah, we got a nice little graphic here.

It's got like, it's very spright. It's very bright colored, yeah. Yeah, which might, is that an anagram for a spree? Did we just like, is going to, this is the high point of the whole thing. Goodbye, good night. Anyway, so big thrift store shopper. Is there anything that you found at a thrift store that you did not purchase that haunts you, like something that was like, this is too big and unwieldy to take home or like,

oh, I don't need this, but then it keeps you up a night that like, if only I bought that thing. I do. I have two that I constantly think about. One was, I was in like a flea market in Paris. And they had like an old-timey horn like that used to be on a car that would be like an awuga. Oh. And I was like, I don't know. I'm going to bring it back.

And I didn't buy it. And I've just like kicked myself. ever since. I was like, that would look cool in the wall. I'd be able to, like, scare people with it. I really, I botched that. Bring it on the bus if someone won't move. And the other is, I was at a store, and they had a shoe that had been left in the woods,

and it had separated into all the elemental parts of the shoe. So it was like, it was like a shoe sculpture, basically. But it was just like an old shoe that was found in the woods. And it wasn't even that. expensive and I didn't buy it. But it was just being sold as a shoe? An old shoe? Or was it being sold as decor? I would guess

it would be decor. Okay. There wasn't a pair of shoes. No, it was one shoe. And it was like an old, you know, shoe from like the 50s or 40s. So I shoot about, how about it? How about you? Do you have one that haunts you? I mean, I saw like a cheetah print couch a couple months ago

at the throw store, which like, I don't know, it looked kind of grungy. Seattle's very grungy. That's cool. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, that's one that keeps me up. And then my neighborhood does like a big yard sale thing every year. And there was this one house that was like definitely just like three artsy women and their husbands that kind of had some Beatles records like got together and like pooled all their stuff. And one of them had this like feathered cape and like feathered hat of like these like black and green kind of like shiny feathers. And I was like, that's amazing. That's amazing. And I was like, that's. Yeah, I was like, it was so cool, but I was like, what, what am I going to do with that? And I'm like, I could just look at it. Like, I don't need a reason to buy this. So, I don't know.

But do you feel bad that you didn't buy it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I bought a coat that was very expensive just so that I could have it. Nobody else can. Exactly. Keep it out of the hands of the riffro. Yeah, you don't want to get these like pickup artists getting, picking up all the women because of this coat.

like dragging around their leopard skin couch I think it was Cheetah Oh yes it was Cheetah My mistake Camille Continue with her questions Okay so yeah And then Dave my question for you

I know you're a big fan of the movie Tar I'm also a big fan of the movie Tar Yeah I guess I am If there was a You know Young Tar kind of prequel And you can pick any age of Tar

Who would you cast as young Lydia Tar. Oh, I think it would be a kind of thing like how they did that Bob Dylan movie with six people playing Bob Dylan. Kate Blanchett. Yeah, maybe a young Kay Blanchett. Young Tar,

boy, that is tough because it would require me to know young people. Young, like, teenage blonde actresses, which I do not know. Sabrina Carpenter. I did think Sabrina

Carpenter first as well. She's got it. She's got it. Yeah. She's not at all tar-like. But I feel like so many, you know, Disney kids, they have the tar beaten out of them, more or less. They're all too smiley and stuff. No one's serious. Yes. Yeah, you know what? As a 45-year-old man who does not know many young celebrities,

I gotta go with Sidney Sweeney. Who's proven time and a time again that she can carry a film. Box office loves her. Her jeans are great. Do you have any ideas? I mean, I had the same thing where I was like, oh, who's like a young actor, I don't know. I mean, maybe Kiernan Shipka, I feel like she could be a umtar.

I don't know. And her name is pretty close to mine. Mm-hmm. No, she was Sabrina. She was also Don Draper's daughter. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah, that's good.

And she does serious because that Sabrina was serious. Was it a gritty reboot? I did not watch it. It was gritty, yeah. What about 11 from Stranger Things? Whoever that is, Millie. Millie Bobby Brown. She would be good, right?

Sure. She's as good as any other actor. Yeah, what about Finn Wolfhard? Great cheekbones, great cheekbones. Were you telling me you just saw Finn Wolfhard? No, past guest Chris Kelly was telling me he saw Finn Wolfhardt eating Vietnamese food up the street. Hmm. Well, I hope they got his picture and I hope it's on the wall.

Can I ask another question? Yeah, ask as many as you want. Yeah, we're like you. You waited. Um, what are your ins and outs for 2026? Oh, yeah. Oh, like, what are we predicting will be in and out? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Well, the Kevin Kly movie, In and Out? In. Raisin Brand, Ian. Rechargeable batteries? Out. Yeah, deodorant out. Deodorant's out. Uh, but chapstick is back in a big way.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Um, I think also the board game, uh, the game of life is going to become really popular. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think, um, like, uh, forearms are in. Like, anything between the wrist and the elbow, I'm all for it. If you want to pop an anchor tattoo on it.

Oh, Peeklea sleeve, absolutely. Really any garment that has like holes cut out of it that kind of make it look, uh, insane. Yeah. Shoulder holes or whatever, whatever holes. you want to put in a garment. Italy is out. Croatia is in. Croatia is big this year.

A lot of exciting looks. God, I really did have a prediction of something that was going to come back. Oh, I think we were talking about it yesterday. Melissa Atheridge. Yeah. She's going to be in, her song's going to be in some show. Maybe the next season of Euphoria. It's going to be.

She's come to my window? Is that Melissa Athridge? Yeah, she's so much more than that. Oh my gosh, she's right here Yeah She's caro-run Um, yeah So that's pretty much it

Yeah What do you think? Um I mean, Macha was really big this year So I feel like we need a new like trendy beverage Maybe Hojice that's also from Japan Maybe that would be a thing

Yeah, Ho Chi is probably in this year Also, you know what's crazy If it's going to be in this year? Fake. Fago. Fago's in. Fago's back. For some of us, it never left. That's true. It's so sweet. Oh, it's so sweet.

But I crave it right now. Yeah. I've actually, I think I've never actually had Fago, to be honest. Maybe some rock and rye. It's rock and rye. It's too sweet. It's too sweet. It's crazy. Rock and rye. It's like, I think it's like their version of like root beer. It's like saspirilla-y, if I'm remembering correctly. And I only want that if I'm in the south in America, sasperilla. Seattle, I don't want a Asperilla. No. Give me a Frappuccino.

Yeah. Wow, Seattle, home of the Frappuccino. Invented by Kenny G. apparently. That's right. I was just listening to that episode where that was discussed. Who was the worst mayor Seattle's ever had? Bruce Harold. Get him out of here.

Is he the current? He's the current. Yeah. And actually, I've only lived here for like five years. So he's like the one mayor that I know about. He did not to get political. He did pull a gun on a. pregnant woman over a parking space

to speak. Let's not bring politics into this. There's a lot of people pulling guns on pregnant ladies to get parking spaces from both sides. And he did say like it was like a youthful indiscretion thing, but I think he was like 36 or something. I think yeah, if you're old enough to have a gun, you should probably not point it at a lady.

My Mac is on low batteries. Okay, we've got to go. Thanks. Oh yeah, we got to count down to the New York. year. Okay. Ten. Five. Four. Three. Three. Two. One. One. Happy. Happy New Year. Thanks, Camille. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Bye. Bye. Maximum Fun A worker-owned network Of artist-owned shows

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