Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 929 - Alex Carr

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

Comedian Alex Carr joins us to talk selling Zyn, standing up to the dentist, and rug sales. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 929 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me, as always, is a man who's a man who's... welcoming all things in the new year, Mr. Dave Schumke.

I'm welcoming all things in the new year. You're welcoming good things, your dreams, you're manifesting. Sure, I'm welcoming all good things. My dreams I'm manifesting. But I'm also welcoming the evil. A little bit of evil. From any particular place? Yeah, yeah, hell.

Oh, shit. So, like, I open up a little portal to hell. It's like just kind of a balance. It balances me out. I was thinking this morning because, like, a lot of the church is saying, and stuff is, like, about nature. And I was like, you could do a lot worse than the Church of Satan. Of course you could.

Yeah. They're, they're little trolls, aren't they? Yeah, and they're like, I don't know. Maybe I'll become a Satanist this year. Do you remember last year, our guest of the year, Marito Lopez, believed you when you said you were, that we both went to church on Sunday morning, and you went to the Church of Satan? The fact that he believes I went to regular church was funny enough.

And I feel like Church of Satan's not making it get up. Sunday morning. It's a Saturday night, all night, party raid. They pay their taxes. That's their main thing, right? Like, they're like, they don't have like Turkish. Yeah, they're like, they're trying to be, oh yeah, no, we're just trying to be the opposite of the regular church. 2026, the year I become a Satanist. Okay. Well, let's not invite all that into here. Our guest today, a very funny comedian, a radio host who's been all over this great country of And he's a very cool guy in general. It's Alex car.

Hello, Alex. And it's my best credit. Cool guy. Cool guy. In general, not specifically. I don't, we'll get down to specifics, but I, you know, I want to leave some room for you to tell your story, you know? Well, thank you for having me. I'm excited.

Thanks for coming on. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Now, Alex, where are you from? I grew up in Halifax. Nova Scotia. Nice.

Yeah. You ever go to the, uh, theater of the tugboat, tugboat? Yeah, ever go to that tugboat? I've never been on it, but my friend's uncle was the captain. Oh, shit, really? Yeah. What is it for the listener and me? It's a tugboat that was on a show.

It was kind of like Thomas the Tang Engine, but a tugboat. Oh, sure, but like rough and tumble Canadian. Yeah, yeah, and they had the real size boat, and you could go on it? I don't know. I don't know. Kids birthday parties? I don't think you could go on it No, it was just in the harbor

And it was funny Yeah, and it would just float around But then what did your friend's dad do If he was the captain You know, I don't know Didn't question it could be a lie But I also You know, this is what he was told me

He was there's in my uncle's the captain And this was as a, you know Teenager and adult Not like a kid just like My dad's tougher than your dad Right So I believed him Yeah, I believe him

I don't even know him But like you could be like Well my dad's actually the captain Of a much tougher ship Theater of the battleship Or like the blue nose You grew up in Halifax And then when did you leave

When I was like 20 But at the first time I left I was like Yeah I was 20 I moved to Detroit And sold cable door to door What? Yeah

How did that happen? Illegally You went down to Detroit illegally And then I had a friend I went to high school with And then he moved there he's actually from Ohio and then he was like

selling cable door to door in Detroit and he was like you'd be really good at this you should come and I you seem like the kind of guy who doesn't mind having doors slammed in his face

honestly I was pretty good at it so he asked me to come and I was young enough to not think that it would matter to just go work illegally in the States so I just went there

and I did get grilled at the border And I remember just lying to their faces and being like, I still told them I was rich. I was like, I'm, do you know who I am? I'm rich. That was rich. I was rich. They were like, why don't you, you don't have a flight booked back and whatever.

And I was like, because I'm rich. And I, like, they've asked me how much money I had. And I was like, I can get money from anywhere. I'm rich. My friend's uncle, right, drive is a ship captain. Let me show you, Thomas. theater or tugbo because one of my favorite shows

is the Border Patrol show and it is like people get so screwed up at the border and that's a big thing is like they'll come to work illegally or they'll be coming to Canada for a year and they'll be like oh what are you going to do here while you're here where are you going to stay

well the first night I'm going to be with my friend and then I don't know And then are you going to be working illegally? No. Do you have any money? Oh, I got $6. The key is to just tell them you're rich. Yeah, because they should like...

I'm rich. They are good news. You're welcome. Yeah. A rich guy's coming to your city. But it is that like there's a thing when you cross the border, it says you can't have $10,000 in cash on you. But it's, who would do that like, oh, I'm, what do you, how much money do you have on you? Well, I've got $100.

How are you going to live here? Well, I have cards. You're going to rack up a bunch of debt. What do you think? I remember being in the airport after security and two security agents came up to me and they were like, how's it going today? I was like, fine. He said, you're not carrying anything over $10,000 or whatever it was.

And I was like, what? And then we all laughed. We all had a good laugh. I used to watch that show and it was mostly just busting people with like unclaimed noodles. Like it always, it was very. It was very silly. Also, they would play dramatic music and act like they would have this like demeanor of people that really did something.

And I'm like, good. Oh, wow, you got some dried seaweed. Yeah, it was a lot of like, there was this some kind of stimulant from Africa that people chew. Oh, yeah. They would sneak into the country. But it's like, you know, a prohibited substance. But it's not a narcotic. No.

But it's also, isn't it like introducing it into our ecosystem or something? system or something like that? Isn't that the worry? You put that stimulant into a swamp and the next thing you know, it's everywhere. Like the cane toads in Australia. Tell that to Australians. Yeah. There's an Australian version of that show.

And like... It's all cane toads. And it's people... It's all cane toads trying to sneak out of the country. It's very sad. Like, poor people from Asia that have been like, you know, extorted into being drug mules. Yeah. And then you, the stuff comes up on the screen at the end.

And they were sentenced to 30 years in prison. It's like, what the? It's crazy sad compared to the noodle seizures. Why did they agree to be on this show? Yeah, I never understood why people would sign the waiver to have their face. Like, I get it when they're blurred out, but I don't understand what was in. Maybe they got a little bit of cash or something. Yeah, they must.

Like, if you say, I don't really want to do it. How about 200 bucks? They couldn't make you be able to stay in the country a little bit longer, that 200 bucks. I would love to see the episode of me when I was that age. I would pay money to see me talking to the person. Because I look back, I didn't have a, I never thought anything through. I never had a complete thought until I was 26. Do you remember it?

It was, you can't do this job that you're doing forever. It was like, I was like, wait a second, you have to do more than just this. People aren't going to even want to buy cable in a few years. So I only, I didn't do it. Yeah, yeah. So I went just strictly based off of gumption. Like, my dad was like, this is crazy, but like, okay, you know, and I went with no planned. I hadn't thought it through.

I was like, oh, I'll just wing it at the border. Oh, that's where the Red Wings are. What border across did you take? Ambassador Bridge? I flew, so I would have gone through in Detroit, right? you go through when you get there um did you do so when you said you were rich did they or did they say damn he's got us there or were they like how are you rich so it was in secondary right so like this one you got pulled aside because that because the initial person was like

this story the the you you you you're a red flag yeah yeah and then so i got brought over and it was like actually a really intense area there was there was people crying and stuff like it's in a different room. Yeah. And I was like, I'm not even kidding. Not worried at all. I, like, went in there and I was like, I'm going to put the, put the hat on these people. It's a term we used to, I used to sell used cars.

And that's a really evil term they used for, like, getting one over, put the hat on them. What does that mean? I love that. I don't know. But I was about to put the hat on these border people. So I got there. And it was a woman. and she started looking through my bag.

Also, I hadn't checked the bag all the way through. So she was like, did you pack this bag? Did you look through this bag before you packed it? And I was like, no. And like, which is also a red flag. Crazy red flag. Like I said, no complete thoughts. I hadn't thought.

I also didn't know. I was only 20. I was as dumb as you can get. So like the, so there was, I wasn't like thinking have a good story. Maybe it worked in my favor because I hadn't like rehearsed any story. Yeah. I was just like almost like, how dare you? Yeah.

How dare you ask me about this? And she was like, you don't have enough money to last for three months or whatever. And I was like, I'm rich. And then we just went through your bag, sir. This does not look like the bag of rich. This is a rich guy underwear. It sounds, yeah, she found something in my bag that I didn't pack and it's, it's kind of embarrassing, but it was a bunch of tampons.

And I know this is. makes it weird, but this is just what happened. And she pulled them out, and she was like, did you pack these? And I was like, no, like I told you, I didn't look through the bag before I packed it. And she was just like, I'm actually like, I was like, I have lots of money. If I need more money, I will just ask my parents for it. I'm rich. And then she was like, okay, cool.

Like, like, they let me through. Right away, sir. Yeah. So what I don't get is, did you, when you were coming over, did you like find a half-packed bag? And you're like, oh, I'll just fill the other half of it. When I say that I didn't have any complete thoughts, I'm not kidding. So I grabbed, I packed to move within hours before I left. I didn't think of anything.

I just like threw a bunch of like boxers and socks in a bag and a few opens. Yeah, well, that was in like a side pocket. And then I went there and I, they were like, where are you going to live? And I was like, in an econelodge. I'm rich. I've never thought about that aspect of it. I'm a rich guy that's going to live in an econological on Michigan Avenue. What don't you get about this?

I'm going to live on 8 Mile. I wanted to go to 8 Mile. And the guy that did the driving that I sold cable with, he was like, I remember one day, he was like, we're not going to 8 miles. Stop asking. We used to drive by 8 Mile all the time. You'll get destroyed in a rap battle. I told him I was ready.

I was like, if worst case scenario. I told him I was ready. I told him I was rich. I said, look, I was going to reverse, reverse eight mile and be like, I actually went to a private school. I was going to be Clarence. Yeah. Clarence Revenge. Yeah.

Eight Mile two, Clarence Revenge. Actually, my parents do have a pretty good marriage. My parents have a real good marriage. And your buddy was like, look at you. your palms are sweaty. Yeah. Oh my God, what's on my shirt?

Yeah. I don't know. Mom? Were you wearing my shirt? Were you getting spaghetti on my shirt? I didn't pack this bag. There was already spaghetti on it. Barfed up spaghetti.

So how long were you in the business of selling cable? Door to door. For like six months. We did it in Detroit and we did it in a place called Dearborn, Michigan, which is the highest population. It's the highest density of Muslim population in the United States. And it's made the news. Every time it makes the news about things, I'm like, I was there. I remember that place.

And they were so great. They have an interesting middle class in Detroit that is like lower. It's our middle class, their middle class has bars on the windows. So it looks very different, but the people are all the same. And they were all very nice to me. And I got yelled out a lot. So here's. They were all very nice to me.

I got yelled at a lot. Put a hat on any of them? Oh, well, so no, the actually, the cable deal that we had was a really good deal. Oh,

so I was doing the Lord's work. Give me your spiel. So, okay, so... Hello? Hey, I'm from Comcast. We're just in the area and I wanted to check on your service.

So it starts with a lie. Okay. It starts with a lie because you're like, I'm not part of Comcast. Huh. That's interesting. The service has been spotty because I'm not part of fucking compass.

It's Comcast, You're not going to put the hat on me. Oh, I am. We'll see about that. Okay, so, sorry, say, say, sorry, I'm not, uh, Comcast, that's odd. I haven't heard of Comcast in years. I'm, I'm on, uh, their competitor. Oh, who are you with Wow?

Uh, yeah. Okay, well, I've got great news. We actually have a cable, uh, a cable internet and phone package for only 29, 99 a month. Not bad. It was a great deal. Yeah. How many channels do I get? As many as you want.

Whoa. So you are instantly interested because it actually was less than everybody else. And I go, we're actually just hooking, we just hooked up your neighbor so we can waive the installation fee, another line. Oh, there is no installation fee. Oh, my neighbor's dead. They've been dead for years. Your new neighbors.

Oh, they moved in? I thought, I thought we took care of that. It's actually the other neighbor. And so then people would sign up. The person who yelled at me the most was this guy whose house was covered in George Bush flags. Americans love to put Christmas level decorations, but political stuff. Yeah. Canada's more of a bumper sticker country.

Yeah. So this guy screamed at me. He was like, so we would ignore. And I thought about this when I came to your house because you have a no soliciting sign. And I was like, I'd be ignoring that. And I'd be telling you. be telling you to fuck off. Okay. And then if I told you, all jokes aside, that I could give you internet and cable for $29.99 a month, would you not change your mind? In this day and age,

absolutely. You would. And even at the time, people were paying about $75 to $100 for the three. And I'm in a, I'm in a lovely... Phone as well? Internet cable and phone. At home phone, because this was still... Yeah. I'm in a lovely Comcast polo. So I look official. I have a lanyard on. Yeah. And then you go, oh, really? And then I go, we... can actually waive the insulation fee because essentially your neighbor paid it is the way we make a team and they go, oh, I'm getting a deal over my name. I'm going to have to suck a stick. Like, I hate my neighbor. This is a good way that I stick it to them, you know. But I do owe them now. He opened the door, big, huge dude, and he just started screaming in my face.

He's like, you ignored the signs. And I was like, oh, I'm here to just check on your service, blah, blah, blah. Like I, you know, also when I was 20, I look 15. Also, I still had a stronger Nova Scotian accent. So they would be like, he'd be like, where are you from? Why are they letting children from Ireland sell cable door to door? He's just screaming at me. I was like, I'm here to check on your service. And I like gave him the pitch while scared. And he was like, he like stopped.

He goes, 29, 99. And I was like, yeah, I ended up eating dinner with his family. I ended up eating because he was like, you're a child. You're a young boy. And I was like, I am a young boy. And then I ended up eating burgers with his family and just chatting with them about Nova Scotia. Nova Scotia to them was completely, like, they have no, like, no concept of it. And I signed them up for the cable deal.

I got asked to come in and eat dinner so many times that one time it happened back to back. I would always say yes, to be polite. And I remember eating. And was your friend like, where the fuck are you? No, they, my friend loved me because they got deal, they got money off of every. deal that I sold. Right. Okay.

So he was like a pyramid-shaped sort of scheme, I guess. And I remember eating this burger being so full from eating burger, like, all these people eat just burgers, just like eating at the neighbors, at the neighbor's place. Sometimes I would go, I'm here to check on your service. This is so embarrassing. So I would, I'd be like, I'm here to check on your service. And they'd go good. Because they've been having, they were with Comcast.

And now the. jig is up so I would go and pretend to look at the cables I would be in there behind their TV just pretending to do something like when you buy I've bought used cars and like just to seem like a man yeah when I'm buying it off the person they're like I assume you want to like look at the engine and they and I and I like the last time I bought one I started smelling it for some reason like it was a and I you're let me kick all four tires then I'm I'm in So when you're behind the TV or whatever, you're like, this is a mess.

This is a mess. Who put this in here? Kind of. Yeah, yeah, like being like, yeah. Do you remember the guy you put these in? I was like, this is going to be, this is, we're going to, I'm going to have to send out the other guy for this. I'm more of the tech.

I'm above the, I'm rich. I'm a rich Nova Scotian child. So I like would pretend and then and then have to like be like, okay like yeah looks good uh you know i'm gonna i'm gonna send a guy out and then and then like literally would like walk then just it would just leave my mind forever because i would just still have no full thoughts and i actually don't work at comcast you're they're illegally i'm there legally as a subcontract i do have a lanyard that's true so i have my no no i know the deal's legit but i have a lanyard so did you show up later with a fake mustache and say i'm the guy that's

coming to install your conco no no no i would just I never told you $2.99. This is $82. The price apparently goes up after two years or something. Yeah. I'll be dead by then. Something. Well, it was my job just to save the money.

People really were really happy about it. Yeah. Compared to some of the other sales jobs I had, selling cable door to door in Detroit was actually really fun. I want to know what else you sold. What else did you sell? So when I was younger than that, I worked at a call center and we had to convince people to go to sales meetings by giving them a free vacation, and they were

timeshares, and I was the number one highest closing person at the time. I had plaques. I used to have them on my wall from this call center, mostly as a joke, because it was funny to have the plaques. It was the sketchiest call center that you could possibly imagine. It was at night. We were calling into Spokane, Washington, and boss. awful and all these places I didn't really know and it's just popping up I know Spokane

congratulations you've been selected to receive a prepaid trip for two to San Francisco Las Vegas or San Diego and then we would tell them all kinds of stuff like I'd be like you just have to go to a meeting for 90 minutes there's going to be sparkling beverages there's going to be sparkling apple cider and there will be sparkling food there's sparkling hot dogs what and I just so I I would get a $20 commission on each one. And I had people call back before to the line and be like, you're the guy I talked to. There was no sparkling apple cider.

There was no sparkling apple cider. I was like, did you get your trip? And they're like, yeah, but there's all these blackout dates on the trips. Also, you have to sit through a high pressure sales pitch, which I didn't really know that much about that. And I knew it wasn't a scam, but it also wasn't above board. Also, the people I worked with were either, you know, like, had been in prison or going to prison. You got to make a few calls before I go to prison. Yeah, you get your one phone call.

Have you ever seen the trailer park boys? I've seen of them. Okay, so there's a character on the trailer park boys named Sam. Sam, the actor, was my actual supervisor at the call center. and he's not terribly different than he is on the show. Right. He's a big mustache-haven guy. One time his son worked with us, he fist-fought his son on the floor of the call center.

And to tell you the truth, great day. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Anytime you see your boss get a punch of the head. He ended up, no, Sam dominated Joe. Oh, okay. His name was Joe. How old was his son?

His son was like 19-20. Okay. And he ended up. of getting him in this bear hold and the next thing you know Joe was like he was trying to carry him out of the call center and he was like a cat with his hands and feet on the side of the door

and he just wrestled and then we just heard them like cartoonish fighting sounds outside the door and was there anybody still on the phone like yeah anyways there's some blackout dates but you know less than you might expect so no at this time people in Spokane Mount Washington we all had our headsets off

just like mirror catting above the above the little cubicles we were in and so people in Spokane And Washington would have just been going, hello, hello? And they're just listening to us. Sorry, we're just adding bubbles to the apple cider. We're just getting the bubbles spotted up.

So there was a woman that worked there. One time, I got tased. I got tased at this call center. I mean, yeah. So there was a woman that worked there named Juanita. She was a white woman from a place in Halifax called Spryfield, which is a very sort of tough neighborhood. And she was, she wore tons of gold.

She was covered in gold. Wow, that's pretty cool. Talk like this. And she'd be like, yeah, she'd be like, what, what are you looking at? Like, she was like really tough lady. And one time she brought a taser to work. Okay. I just assumed you got tased by a cop, but no, no, no, this was Winita.

So, Juanita brought a taser to work. And she was like, she was like, there was all these tough guys that worked there. And they were, she was like, you guys want to feel how it feels to be. tased and and there was the this guy like bailey and cam and a guy that we called dead Richard um I'll tell you why we call them dead Richard in a second so so she was like Alex you want to be tased and I was like no I don't yeah and and so every time you got a deal you would walk up and put a little thing on the door on the board next to your name right and I walked up to put a thing and I just I just felt it in my back. Oh God. And I just heard and I like kind

knew I was like, ah, like you know, and I knew what it was. And I turned around and this could be the most like cowardice thing. Anyone's ever said after being dazed. I turned around. I go, Winita, I specifically told you not to taste me. That's true. Earlier that morning you had a meeting. Well, I had told her. Then I walked up to Sam and I swear to God, this is all true. I was like, Sam, Juanita tased me. And he goes, Alex, you know I don't like rats. And I was like, and I was like, true, fair. Yeah.

Right? Because he had been pretty explicit about not liking rats. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. And he goes, do you want to go home? You want to go home? And I was like, yeah.

Like, yes, please. And then he, and honestly, I was like, cool. Like, not a bad day. Yeah. Got tased, got to go home. Now this taser before you move on. Is this like the cop one where the thing spring out of it? Or is it like the, like, get up close?

What's the deal with those ones? It's the get up close one. I had never even seen one of those shootout. I don't know if the shootout ones existed at this time. And if they use them, do you have to like, can you reuse them? No, I think it's a one and done. The things get dug into your skin. I love it when they, like, do a, you know, like a, every TV station sends a reporter to get tased.

Well, the cops bought a new taser, and they're going to try it out on our reporter. I saw a guy in, uh, The Nimeo BC get tased while myself and Phil Hanley and John Bueller were eating dinner, he was thrown up against the glass and they tasered him. And we were just all sitting there like, whoa, this is crazy. This is wild. A little entertainment. Yeah.

I had a friend who got tased and I was like, he said, I was like, he told me the story. He was like, while they were tasing me, I was going, it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt. And I was like, did it hurt? And he said it was the most pain I've ever been in in my life. Yeah, if he was like, I wasn't hurt. All right. Let's taste him again.

Yeah. Tase him totally field. It didn't hurt, but look how wet my pants are. So it was a handheld, it was a handheld taser. So we need to have to intimately jab it into the back of my ribs. It was more surprising than painful. Like, I'm not a tough guy, but it wasn't crazy painful. It was just shocking.

You're not a tough guy, but you are a rat. I am a rat. That's true. It wasn't terribly painful. Is it, um, do you ever like, uh, sick your tongue on a battery? Yes, many times. Yeah, I stuck a knife in a socket. Okay.

I was going to go up a few levels like incrementally. Like if you ever get one of those bugs after a tennis racket things and touched it? Yeah. Yeah. I was, I put a knife in a socket at my aunt's house and it really hurt. And then it was like a little burn mark on the knife. And then I hid the knife as if they would be able to find it and know what I had done. And years later, I told my aunt this, she was like, I remember finding a knife.

knife in a weird spot that I was just like, yeah. Yeah, we had a knife that had two, like, burn marks on it that my mom, I think my mom, had used to, like, pull a plug out of the wall. Yeah. Honestly, don't do it. So, insane. So let's talk about Dead Richard. How did the name come from?

So I love this. Yeah. So Dead Richard was, he was. Now I know Little Richard. Yeah. He says, wababab. He says, he says, uh, he says, uh, he says, uh, no. there's actually no relation to this, Richard.

Oh, I don't know. They're not rich. Yeah, they're not so his name is Richard Sloan White from Sackville. And that's going to be relevant later. And Richard was a, he was a good guy. Sackville is Nova Scotia as well.

Sackville is Nova Scotia as well. Sackville is also kind of a sketchy part of, not sketchy, just, you know. It sounds like there's a lot tough parts of Halifax. I don't, you know, I love these places and I don't want to, I don't want to bash them. But it's not the nice,

if you're from Sackville, you've been in a fist fight for sure. with your dad and it's a town named after Scrodom Well they changed the name from Scrodom town to Sackville Because it had more of a ring to it

So Richard like You know he sold drugs Which wasn't uncommon at this place He used to just like snort I don't want to get your podcast censored But he used to just like do drugs off the table

Or stuff I don't know I don't know. He would snort cocaine and various... I mean, maybe we could censor his last name if you want. No, don't censor his last name. He's dead. Don't worry about him.

There's a twist. He's not dead. One time I needed a root canal and I was in a lot of pain at the call center and I was like walked up to him and I was like, Richard, like, do you have anything for pain? And he had, I think they were called Demerol Fives. And again, hadn't thought anything through in life. And I was like, give me one, man. I'm in crazy pain.

And then he gave it to you. helps if I tase you while I give it to me. And he gave it to me. And I was like, two minutes had passed. I was like, it's not working. He was like, he goes, man, they give it to women while they're giving birth. Like, it's going to work. And then he goes, give it five minutes.

And I remember him holding up his hand like this, like five minutes. And as I was looking at his hand, I went from like the most pain I'd ever been in to the greatest feeling I'd ever had. And I was like, that feels good. Then when I went to the dentist, the dentist was like, what did you take for pain? and I was like, oh, nothing. And he was like, he was like, be honest. And then I ended up telling him the truth.

And he was like, I don't need to tell you that that's not what you're supposed to do, right? The Tendez was like, oh, do you know dead Richard? So Richard didn't charge me for the pill. He was a good guy. Like, he knew I wasn't, he knew I was in pain. He was in the first taste for you always, you know? Okay. What he was was early on harm reduction is what he was.

He was a harm reduction pioneer. So one time, we are in the. call center, and a guy I work with is, like, bad news, Richard's, Richard's dead. Oh, shit. Yeah. And so we go to his Facebook and... I thought you were going to see his funeral. I'm the kind of going to go laughs at a Facebook.

So we go to his Facebook and we're all gathered around this one computer. Follomely. Right. Dope. Paying tribute to his Facebook. Truly, like, like feeling the feelings of someone you know that's died. Yeah. And it's all these people who have written on his wall as people do. You know how they, like, write to their ghost on the wall of the Facebook?

Yeah. And they're like, I'll never forget, like, that time at the cottage and, you know, Summers driving the four-wheeler and all these different things. Getting high as fuck and driving around. Yeah, like, we're like, we're like, damn, man, Richard Slonwhite. So the reason we thought he was dead was because there was an article that said, uh, Richard Slonwhite from Sackville dies under suspicious circumstances. That's how it's going to happen for him.

Yeah, like he was voted most likely to die under suspicious circumstances in high school. Certainly. So we're there solemnly reading the things, and then all of a sudden, Richard just walks into the call center, and he goes, Not dead, fuckers. It's in the top ten moments of my life. It was so funny. Because we were like, of the quote,

the way he said it he just strolled in and we were like what's it he go and he was like it's different Richard and we were like your Facebook dude

and he was like yeah like so this at this time like we weren't updating things on our phones or whatever and Richard had been apparently like

at a cottage with no reception he used to disappear from work for days at a time lots of people did it wasn't unheard of at this call center

so he hadn't been there for a few days we thought he was dead whatever and he was like no I'm gonna like clear that up right now like he didn't have like internet at his house.

Yeah. Yeah. So he was like, I'm coming in. I'm going to tell them right now. He also made his Facebook status, not dead fuckers. He,

that in order, in order to tell everyone, this is how he was letting everyone know. He was like, yeah, different Richard Slamite. So then we just called him dead Richard. That's pretty good.

That's a nickname because it's a funny nickname. Totally. And we all thought he was dead for about 10 to 15 solid minutes. Wow. Wow. This, uh,

it's just so strange that there would be another one. It's such a small. place like I mean there's only like five last names in the whole maritime so that's right

there's that sloan white is a popular last name yeah I went to school Phil Slaanwhite now he lives in Halifax yeah it's just not crazy that there would be

two Richard Slawn whites two Richard Slawn whites that could likely die from suspicious circumstances is you know also the age was pretty similar right

like to what to what it was on the on the article to what we thought Richard was I didn't know how old he was Age unknown Don't know where he's from Between 20 and 50

Yeah Richard was a good guy though Did he still Did he still do the drug dealing after Or did he just like Clean him off So yes he did still do the drug dealing Afterwards

But he is to now Because I still have him on Facebook He doesn't do drugs anymore And he smokes cigars And like celebrates his now speaking of smoking you are here with a pack of zin i've heard of zin yeah graham used to be a giant smoker yeah loved it a giant he's not that big no but when i back when i smoked i before i smoked i was growing like a weed and then i was seven foot one giant smoker and then graham uh he switched

to nicotine gum do i remember this one for for months and now he's a chain chewer he just just chew constantly chewing gum. I've heard of Zinn. Can I have a look at it? And what is it? Yeah, they're little nicotine pouches that you put it in your lip. Maybe I'll do one. Don't do these ones.

They're crazy strong. You'll puke. They smell really. They smell candy cane. Yeah, they make your breaths. They break your breath. Oh, that's really nice. Also, they battle, they fight dementia.

You don't get dementia if you're addicted to nicotine. Really? Eh, that's what the internet says. That's what some kid from. Detroit told me. I sent it to someone the other day. They go, do you work for Zinn? Yeah.

I heard a few things fight dementia. Yeah. So both nicotine is bad for your brain, but also there's studies that show that it, like, combats dementia, which doesn't make sense. Wouldn't where, uh, so I assume you smoked for years. No. Incorrect. Um, so I smoked from the age of 14 to 18 when I moved out of my parents' house. And then cigarettes.

So I was correct. He was correct. I was. I started Zins when I was 38th. When these only came out, I was 308. I didn't mean to say you weren't correct. You were correct. Let the record show.

Yeah, yeah. That feels rude to me. Can we edit it out of the podcast? Just from now on, just call me Dave Sloan White. So between 18 and 38. So I didn't smoke. And then a few years ago on New Year's, a friend of mine was like, so I don't drink or smoke.

cannabis or do anything and I haven't for like 12 years or so and he was like you should you want to try one of these and it was New Year's and I was like I'll try something and then I tried him and then I did stand up and it felt amazing I felt like I had like a protective blanket around me and I was like

I just loved it I was like this rules these are awesome and so I kind of just got on them from there your first one was it the like how you warned me don't do it you'll bar first one was a six these are 14 Oh, shit. So they keep going up.

These are, they call them the malt liquor of Zins. How high do they go? In Sweden, you can get 30s. Woof. But that, like, these ones will, I know season Zin users and they take these ones. And you put it in your, under your lip? Yeah. And they dissolve?

No, no, no. You're just going to suck on them until they're, until the buzz goes away. Yeah. And so they're just a little, they end up with a little sack in your mouth. Funny story about Zins. So you remember when Mark Maren was in town? Yeah. So Mark Maren was at a show, and I ended up walking with him from one show to another show.

And we cut. This was in the last year? Yeah. Yeah. And so we walk. I talked to him a little bit. I was like, you know, he's a little rough around the edges, to be honest. But we were cool.

Like I told him about how I work in radio, and I used to listen to his podcast. The first time I got fired from my job in radio, I listened to his podcast a lot because there's a lot of like really successful people telling the saddest stories of their lives. As podcasters ourselves, we love when people tell us they used to listen. It's actually tracks on why, where this story goes.

So then we go and we're sitting down. And I felt like we had like a rapport. And then he starts telling these stories. And he's like, there's people I would never have. have on my podcast. And I was like, oh, yeah, like who? And oh, did it rub them the wrong way? He looked at me like disgusted and he goes, like, I'm going to tell you.

And I was like, I don't know, man, like you brought it up. Yeah. So I'm like my, my friendship with Mark Merritt is over. And that's okay, right? We were never meant to be friends. I told him how much his podcast meant to me. We're cool. That's all I wanted.

Then he's sitting there. He's telling the story. He's in the middle of telling a story about interviewing Obama. And he's like, I didn't interview. Barack Sasha? Oh, okay Barack. He's like, I didn't

interview Barack Obama. I interviewed President Obama, the character and a girl that we know I think he's like, he's our Andy Kaufman. I think he's had Randy Newmire on here, right? Yeah. So Randy Newmire comes up to me and she's like,

do you have any zins? And I was like, that's your impression of Randy Newmire. It's on record. Let's all do it. Do you have any zayers? You don't have any zins. Do you get any zins? I love Randy Newmire. She knows that, so don't.

Edit that out of the podcast. She's like, yeah, he stops mid-story and just turns, and he goes, you have zin? And I was like, yeah. So at the time, because I'm like like this, when I got on zins, I immediately wanted to order them for the cheapest price and I would buy them in bulk. So I used to order these huge sleeves of them from Sweden. They're also illegal in Canada, so... Oh, okay. Yeah, so...

So you're going to have to go on border patrol and... I would be on border patrol right now, getting taken to... I'm rich. What do you remember me? I didn't pack this suitcase. I don't even know why these ins are in here. So... I thought these were tampons.

Watch, I'll put one up there. It burns. Well, he convinced us. There you are, sir. Enjoy the econological. We're sorry for the inconvenience. Mr. Carr. So he's like, how do you have Zinz?

He was like, I was like, oh, I ordered them from Sweden. And he's like, the factory burned down. I was like, I know. Oh, and it smelled amazing. I was like, I know I ordered them before the factory burned down. He's on R slash Zinn. We are on. It's our slash nicotine pouch.

I'm sure. He's on it. And so am I. So we both knew the folklore of the factory burned down. He was, and then. And he was like, could I get some from you? And I was like, yeah, for sure. Just tell me who you wouldn't have on who you would never interview.

I felt weird around him after that. He was really not cool with me for his first for about 10 minutes. Until those in showed up. I go to leave. I go to go back to the every first club we were at to do a set. And he goes, I just hear him go, yo, dude. And I was like, what? And he was like, I'm coming with you.

And then, so now, I can't shake Mark Maron. I can't get Mark Maron away from me. And we're walking and he's like, he's like, so blah, blah, blah, you get him from Sweden, what do you got? I was like, I got sixes, I got nines, I got 13s, I got mint, I got lemon. I got everything you need. And then. You had any Demerol? Domerol fives?

I was like, well, I have to call Richard. So we get there. I give them the first ones. I was like, I'll grab them for you. and he offered to pay for them but I was like you know what this is for the podcast this is for all that you did with me

for the podcast and then he's like let me get your number so I couldn't so I can bother you all the time so I can buy Zins from you and I like didn't think too much of it but then like I immediately get a text from him just it says hey man

it's Mark so now we're on a first name baby yeah yeah yeah well he's your man or dude at this point so he's like hey man it's Mark you know thanks for the Zins and I was like yeah just let me know so then every couple of weeks Mark Maren would text me and be like hey man just finishing up on set like do you think you

could come meet me at a real long day with Zins so I would go down to his condo that he was living in which is like across like next to the Ramado like Georgia and how he'll tell it all Alaskar. He's not afraid. I don't care. What's he going to do? The story ends with... What's he going to do? Podcast about it? No, he ended it. Yeah. He can't even get revenge. I would love if you mentioned me on a special. I listened to his podcast that week to see if he mentioned getting sins.

Of course. How could I not? So, I would meet him. He's always worked up. He was always worked up. You know what helps with that? Nicotine. Yeah. Well, because he's like fresh off set, whatever. And here's another thing.

Like, I didn't want to, like, take up his time. I was totally cool to just hand it to him and just give me the money for the Zins and I'll get out of here. Well, he wanted to talk. He would come out. One day, he was so worked up about J.D. Vance. And I'm not, I'm not terribly proud. I don't even want to say the words that he said. He called him the C word and it was just crazy worked out.

And because he's, like, a famous guy, I kind of would mirror his energy and opinions. I don't care about J.D. Vance, one way or ever. Is J.D. Vance, that fucking. And I was just like, yeah, J.D. Vance, man, really has me upset, too. I was like, J.D. Vance. And he was like, Biden was a nice calming, a calming energy for America. And I was like, Biden was a calming. Biden was like a six. Vance is like a 13. I was like, he was a calming energy. And he's like, these damn drunk folks.

And I'd just be like, oh, they're really crying in my ears, too. So we're like each other. We should hang out more. We're becoming best. People used to say They're like, you should ask me on his show. I was like, the moment I ask him for anything is the moment that we are no longer going to talk again. Yeah.

So that happened a couple times. Then one day, it's late at night. And I just see my phone light up and with a picture from Mark Barron. It just says image sent from Mark Barron. Oh, God. And I was like, I had this moment of like, what a world, you know? Like just, I was like, how did I get into the point where like, that Mark Barron is sending me a picture in the middle of the night?

and I open it up, and it's just this picture of this big pile of zins. Like, there's just like... Look who's ship is coming. 30 cans of zins. And I didn't tell people this part of the story for a long time because I was ashamed of it. But I've come to terms with it. So then... Were they unopened?

They were unopened zins. They're new zin. Now, and he... Were they on display like how a cop would like, okay, here's all the cocaine we see. And now we're going to tase this reporter. It was clearly just dumped on a table in his hotel. And but like tons of them. And so I always thought it was very funny that he got back to Canada with his Zins.

And then he thought, you know who would love this? That guy. That dude. The Zinn dude. Yeah. Like he had no reason to send it. It doesn't need me anymore. And that's who you are in the phone.

Your Zinn dude. Yeah. I'm sure. You're Zinn Richard. I'm Zin Zin guy who has the right opinions on J.D. Yeah, yeah, yeah. White Zindal.

So then he tells me, he tells me he's like, I found a guy in California that doesn't give a fuck. And this guy, because they're... Are they illegal in the States as well? Flavored ones are illegal in California specifically. Oh, but they're not illegal at all here? They're totally illegal here. Yeah, but if you go to any vape slash candy store and they don't...

Can you bring them in? into the country or like they don't they're not like strict about yeah you just can't like you can't sell them i guess technically well but they do like if you go to any vapes slash candy store and you ask them for zins and they don't think you're a cop they will pull up a backpack from behind the counter and you can buy them they always think i'm a cop yeah i they when i they thought mark marron was a cop too yeah he had told me that he went to one of the places that was recommended and they said no so anyway he's like i love that it's in a backpack oh let me just grab them here this totally legal let me just grab it out of this backpack

It's very, I kind of like it. I like the concept of just like, yeah, this is fun. Like, they'll kind of look around before they grab the backpack. Nope, no one here. So Mark Merrin, he's like, I found this guy in California that doesn't give a fuck. He sold me these Zins. And I was like, you got to love somebody that's willing to break the law for the greater good. And he was like, hell yeah, man.

And then I wrote, we're kind of like the Dallas Buyers Club, but for Zins. And then he just wrote back This is a much less dire situation Yeah, I know Trying to be funny And then we never spoke again Does he know What like comedy

So do you know how many messages I typed out and deleted Where I was going to be like Yeah, I'm just kidding But then I was like I'm not going to explain to Mark Man, it's called hyperbole Yeah, it's a joke

It's a joke It's an obscure It's an obscure movie But it was the middle of the night I had to work in the morning and I just was like panicked And then I was like mad And then I just put the phone down

And then there was kind of People knew I was selling Mark Barron's ins In the comedy community And they'd be like You still selling Mark Barron's ins And I'd be like I think the show's done I never I didn't want to tell them

About the joke that Bob Oh right Because it hurt And then finally I did one day And then to me it was funny I still have his number Do you guys want to FaceTime them? Sure

Yeah You could fake Mark Remember Bot? Um, Zinn, uh, him sending you the picture of these Zins. That's what I was just going to say. It's like, like breaking up with your girlfriend and sending your picture of your new girlfriend. Yeah. I also like, if it was a guy who sold you pot, you're like, look at this table full of pot.

They'd be like, what the fuck? Why didn't you show me that? So I think it's hilarious too. I thought it was so funny that he felt the need to just be like. You know who I love that? Zinn, dude. Yeah. Zind dude.

And I did. I loved everything about it. Except for him not getting jokes. But you don't, you're so much more than Zinn, dude. The fact that he's like, oh, this guy's whole life is Zin. Yeah. One time he was telling me about, like, the type of comedy he hates, and he was describing the type I do.

And I was just like, yeah, absolute garbage, this, that style of comedy. I like to talk about my emotion. Yeah. How sad I am. Yeah. I have sort of a thinky pain. Got a really good bit about all. That was a special, right?

Yeah. Yeah, here's who I'd never have on my podcast. Fucking Zingar. Oh, I feel like I could have at one point. He never mentioned it, though. I never got a... Maybe he did on a later episode. Who was his last guest?

I believe it was actually Barack Obama, not the character, President Obama. I interviewed the character. That's interesting. So his last guy was Obama. That's one of his guys. Does Obama still have, like, snipers on his roof when he comes to the cat ranch? He carries a taser everywhere he goes.

When he is, his bodyguard now. Shit. She's good. One time I was getting, I was at a pancake breakfast in Calgary. For the stampede? Yeah. And there were snipers all over the roof. And I was like, what's going on?

I was like, what's the snipers, you know? And then I realized that. Mark Merritt's here. Stephen Harper was one of the people making the pancakes. For our listeners who aren't in Canada, he was a prime minister at one point. Yes. Picture a dude with a Lego man's haircut. Yes.

Yeah, it was very like very Justin Bieber early, Justin Bieber kind of hairdo. Yeah. And what was weird is that there wasn't a lot of people in his lineup. So I went to get a, I got a pancake made by Stephen Harper. I'll tell you, garbage pancake. It was shaped like Manitoba. This thing. For those listeners in America, that's a province of Canada.

That's not shaped like a nice round pancake. Yeah, yeah. Not one of our circular provinces like Saskatchewan. All I thought was stick to making policies because you couldn't work at a denny. What is the most pancake-shaped province? Maybe Prince Edward Island. Yeah. Quebec?

You could say the Northwest Territories, like if it kind of splashed out. Quebec got some junk in its trunk. No. For one, there's none of it's got a line right down the. middle of that yeah you're right that's right it's cut up right right right um i would say Quebec it's the biggest splotchy circle yeah

oh maybe Ontario you got a little trailing bit of the yeah yeah yeah that's sort of like a spill you know you made the a bad or two loose it would be very funny if there's a country that was just a bunch of circle states or promises I don't want to step on this

conversation but three white guys doing a podcast number one topic they talk about cancel culture number two which province is shaped like a pancake. So I don't know that we want to keep down this trail. It's true. We've heard this immediately in times. Oh, man.

Dave, what's going with you? Well, I mentioned in the last episode. Actually, we're pre-taping. So I mentioned three or four episodes ago that I was going to go to the dentist. Was this on the air? Yeah, you're going to get Wisdom Chief. No. No.

Oh, sorry. Getting them put in? Yeah. I'm getting the put in. Getting twisted teeth. I went to the, so I, my big thing when I go to the dentist is, when I was a kid, you go to the dentist every six months. Yeah.

Now they're like, every four months. I don't buy it. Yeah. So I always say, yeah, sure. And I schedule the appointment. And then I call back later and say, actually, can I move the appointment two months later? And I was like, this time, I'm going to stand up to my dentist and be like, Oh, okay.

No, I can't do four. do six. Can I ask is, do you have a repeat dentist? Because I just go to an office where there's a bunch of dentists. That's the other thing. It's like, so I, first of all, I can't afford to go to the dentist every four months. My insurance won't cover it. Second of all, I have done it in the past where you do every four months. It feels like it's like my, my like recreational activity is like, well, this guy loves to go to the dentist so much. He was three times a year. And from the like conspiracy theorist part of, of my brain. When I was a kid, the dental office was owned by the dentist. Yes. Now it is, I don't know my dentist. Nope. The office is owned by some investors who I think just want me to come in more often to spend more money.

And it's like every time I go, different dentists. Also, they just show up at the very end, like a special walk-on character. Okay. And yeah, it looks great. I do get the same hygienist every time. Do you? Yeah. Okay.

Most times. and so yeah she did my teeth oh god it hurts yeah they really they used they she was like spraying it with this cold water right like right at the root did she make you you operate the sucker yeah I mean she hung it in my mouth oh no like I've been given it and like just hit the lever

like she's just let me be in charge of the sucker oh the lever oh it's on all the time oh okay yeah just hang out of your mouth yeah they don't trust me with it because I'd like start sucking that their mouth. They're always trying to do the x-rays is what bothers me. Every time I go in there and I said, I was like,

do we need to do the x-rays? And you know, I got them last year and she was like, yeah, your teeth may have moved. And I like, they're not a military family. They don't move. This guy's an army brat. They don't move like that. I also don't like how they don't have anything else

where they're going to sell you an item. There's pricing. Show them. Why is there not pricing on the wall at the dentist? Yeah, like, when they say it, there's like fluoride is this. It's the opposite of McDonald's, because McDonald's smiles are free. That's true. Excellent point. And so, yeah, she'd no x-rays this time.

Okay. She gives me the whole thing. The suction is, I always feel like I'm doing it wrong. Like the whole thing, every day of my life, I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. Also, when I was a kid, I think the x-rays now don't make a sound, but when I was kid, the x-rays would be like, yeah. So I miss that. They should put the bond back in.

So I feel like something's being done, you know? And then, yeah, like the suction, I don't know how to time it. She's really good, actually. She'll give me a little tap. Like, hey, maybe you do some sucking right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, get in there. And then when it was all over, she was like, okay, we'd like to get you in four months. And I was like, okay, great.

What's that? I pull out my phone. And I work up the courage and say, now that's not going to work. for me, man. Dave, standing up. Can we do six months? I don't know. We really should be doing four months.

Okay. Um, no. You're not putting the hat on me. Hey? You're putting little sunglasses on me. The dentist is putting the bib on me. The dentist is putting the hat on you. Yeah.

For sure. I get the feeling, look, as a guy that's put the hat on people, I know when the hat's getting put on me. Now, to be fair, people are going to write in and say, what's wrong with having your teeth even more clean. Nothing. I'm sure it's not a scam. I'm sure like cleaning my teeth more is better.

I'm sure celebrities go every month. Every month of the dentist, they've got the money. They want to make sure that they're as bright as possible. I feel like it would just be, I feel like it would be, you know, they'd probably get their haircut every week. Yeah, that's true. It would just be like nothing. Maybe they would have a dentist that would go on tour with them if you were like a

Beyonce or something like that. Yeah. You'd have a dentist or access to a dentist. I would, if I was a celebrity, I'd probably have a grill. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I picture myself as kind of a machine gun Kelly. I was going to say, who's your favorite celebrity with a grill? A machine gun Kelly's right up at the top.

I'm not sure he has one, but he seems like he would. Yeah. I don't think he does. Paul Wall would be my favorite, but I've also thought a lot about having a grill. Yeah. Would you do top and bottom? So probably just top. I have a photo of what I would look like with a grill on my phone.

I said to a friend as a joke not long ago. So it's a funny topic for you to bring up in my mind. I go, yeah, grills. I was hoping we would talk about this. What would the design look like? Platinum and diamond, not gold, not yellow gold. I think the yellow gold, I think it looks, it makes them look worse because yellow I associate with plaque.

Yeah. I want it to shine with bright diamonds and not these fake to, you know, man-made diamonds. I want the real old ones. I remember in the sort of like, Pimp My Ride era of MTV, the grill. were a big thing and there would be a big they would have different designs or are they just do they have different designs or are they just your teeth or are they just tooth shaped

what do you know they have different designs some people do the like the dinosaur one sometimes or they're like almost like a snake some of them look like a boxer's mouthpiece if you type in riffraff grill you'll see a design of course he was great he has tons of dinosaur grill is a Is it a restaurant?

Riff Riff Rill No, that's a restaurant too. So he should have the like Different shapes. That's flat, but like this one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

See the like, almost like snake style. Yeah. He's scary. He's a scary man. Don't be scary. Apparently, so you get him put on top of your teeth if they're permanent. And I've watched the procedure and I didn't care for it. What does permanent mean?

I thought it was one you popped in and popped out. There's two different kinds. The permies, the real grill wares get them permies, they call them. Yeah, I actually went to the NICU and some preemies had permies. Oh, really? Yeah. Shit. They hate falling.

Now, is it true that... But, like, if they're permanent, how do you brush your teeth? You whisk diamond cleaner and your breath and your breath will smell bad. I've done a lot of research on grills. Like silver polish that you would clean silverware with? It's jewelry. Yeah. So you clean your teeth with jewelry cleaner.

Then that like vibrating bath that gets all the dirt out. So apparently if you have permies, when you get them taken out, your teeth underneath actually are well protected. Like because they're not getting touched. Like you do have something on top of them. But I don't think that you want to be, to be honest, I don't think you want to do that. I've heard that people who get like the full cap, they have to shave down your teeth in order. So, like, if it came out, you just have weird Ferengi teeth. Those are veneers.

Yeah, that's just totally different. Grills go on top of your teeth. Yeah, idiot. Shit. I didn't. So you would want tempis, temporaries? I would go temp. Okay, I don't think I would do it in general because I've thought a lot about it.

Somebody asked me. Tomorrow you win the lottery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I do have a tempi, and so do all my friends. So you guys, this is what you get for Chris. Oh, nice. And do you, you take a minute out for meals, like Invisal line? I think I only put them in for silly, silly time.

Sure. Just maybe to go on stage with them and have people not think about anything other than. They're hard to talk with, or do you get used to that? I don't think so. No? Because they're just the same shape as your teeth. Yeah, I think it's, it presses against your lip a little bit. Does it taste like a penny?

That's the thing. Is it like gross kind of? I would assume. You have to pour warm water on them to get them soft as you can put them in? They do a mold beforehand. It's a whole process. Somebody asked me not long ago what I would do for a midlife crisis, what kind of car I would buy or something.

And I was like, I would get a grill. I was like, that's what I would get. I don't think I would buy a fancy car. No, getting a grill is like, it's safe, it's fun. And cars have grills too. That's true. And then there's also bear grills. And my last name is car.

Oh, my God. That's right. And you used to sell used ones. And I sold used cars. And you got, someone put a hat on you. You put a hat on yourself today. I have a hat. Oh, my God.

This is all coming back around. It's the inception. Yeah, I always wanted, like, maybe in my, like, front four teeth to have a gold tooth. Maybe not right in the middle, but, like, Joe Pesci's in Home Alone, like, just off the center. Yeah. I'd be into that in a bit way. So, listener, I'm sorry, it's January, but I'm going to talk about Home Alone. Do you

I don't know what this is from But there was I keep getting Every time I hear Home Alone Which is one month a year Yeah I get this Jingle Bells with the word Home Alone in it

And that was in some commercial But I can't remember what it was And it was Home Alone And then I don't know Oh what fun it is to see two robbers Get Flambayed Oh sure That's pretty good

But I forget Was it for Was it Target Was it just for the movie? itself. It's funny. I watched it last night or watched a chunk of it last night. And like not very much happens up until the last like 15 minutes. He's kind of alone and he makes himself dinner and he goes to the grocery store. Yeah, he's really just, uh, kind of hanging out. He's hanging out and then he kind of has to like set up the traps. Yeah. But he's great. Like the, as a kid,

I'm like, yeah, I love this movie. And then as an adult, it's amazing that he's in every shot of the movie and he's so good. And apparently he was. And apparently he was. was like he was so good on set and then he would just lie down between takes and sleep which is very cute that he would just lie down anywhere it was written in a weekend uh yeah john hughes he did a lot of that yeah that's what he said i watched the uh what's it called when the director and the actor talk throughout the movie commentary commentary i watched the commentary learned a lot macaulay calkin just changed his name yeah what was it it changed it to macaulay macaulkin Culkin.

Did he really? Yes. Yeah. So he's doing fine. He's doing great. For on a child star scale of bad news, that's fantastic. That's fantastic. That's absolutely great.

Yeah. One of the Home Improvement kids was arrested this week. Yeah. That guy's always getting arrested. Is that Zachary Ty Bryan? Yeah. Oh. I liked you.

I wasn't. Okay. Let's do a round of just Tim Allen. Wait, let me... Here we go to look. I can't... You can do it, Dave. Yeah, I know.

We can do it. We just need to... Who's going first? I'm going to say you go last. Alex. I'll go first? Yeah. I feel like it's not gruff enough.

I'm going to put some gruffness on mine. I mean, that's perfect. Yeah, that was good. A little snake on it. Did I do that? Ah, shit, surprise twist. What, crazy twist? Did I talk about, I hear that I, like, happened to see an episode of Family Matters when he was on it for the first time, and he was so funny.

I could see why he became part of the show. Like, Erkel was such a funny character. He didn't even have a name, and he just, just this little kid with giant glasses, and he was there to pick up Laura. And I think as far as child actors. go, I think he did pretty well too. He did really well. He's great, Jalil White. Yeah.

You ever think about what it would have been like for Darius McCrary? Oh, just watching it slip away from him? Oh, he's like, I'm the next, I'm the next Will Smith. I'm going to be in, oh, I'm going to be in all the movies. I'm going to be in, you know? And then this just kid just literally steals his career and goes, did I do that? He's just like, oh, you did. There was, uh, because that show was a spinoff of perfect strange.

But it was also kind of a spin-off of diehard because Reginald Johnson is a cop, like a lighthearted cop in both of them. Yeah. Yeah. And I think he's played another cop somewhere. He really was like the man for being a cop. I love the show. I love the level of shark jumping that they do in the later seasons with the chamber and becoming Bruce Lee. And Steve Urkel goes to the moon and he asks Lord of Mariam.

And he's a robot. And they also got shrunk down to tiny, tiny size. It's a great example. I've realized that I've actually loved shows that jump the shark because back in the, now they just would cancel it. It just wouldn't be made. So jumping the shark actually represents an era. And it's so funny when you really think about it that they're just like,

we'll just keep, what do we have a chamber that turns you into a cool guy? Yeah. Like we're not, this is not getting any more expensive to produce. We can do all this in front of a green screen He might be, you know He might be Jalil White He probably got a little

You know like If he goes The whole TGIF lineup It's true He got a great deal He made him one of the like producers So he got money He gets money for life from that show

Good for him Yeah absolutely Yeah I think shows maybe still jump the shark Or maybe they just suck In their third season They just get boring I can't think of one that does stuff as crazy as a family sitcom

that is a spin-off from perfect strangers that's about a mother and father with their son that turns into a show about the neighbor a show about the neighbor that has a chamber that changes you into whatever you want at any time. Who's somebody that like derailed

the show they were on because they were so popular? I mean, George Clooney Yeah, he kind of ran away with ER. He left ER, but ER kept going. That's true. But every year they would have some kind of like a helicopter

crash into the hospital. We need massive amounts of patients coming in. Yeah, I don't know. If any listener out there has an idea, you know, send it in. That's a great question. No, none that...

There was a time I thought that Kramer could have run away with his own show. He was getting cheered every time he walked in the door. What happened to him? I don't know. He became a very good stand-up.

You should see his special. Whoa. Yay. Yeah, there's, it's, uh, I really like when there's a character that gets an applause break just for showing up Cody from step by step. Yeah, like Norm always got an applause whenever he showed up. Yeah.

Oh, Cody. Everyone on Married with Children. Yeah. Cody was added because they were, because the show was failing and they just needed another character. That was a weird ad. And he was like, a kickboxer? He would, for what, he lived in a van in the driveway and he just wanted to like suck face

with the dog. Like it was like, yeah, but apparently in real life he was sucking face with, uh, and sucking everything with the Suzanne Summers. No way, Cody. You dog. Wow. Anyway, what's going on with you? I went to the dentist. Um, so.

And I stood up for myself. Yeah, you stood for yourself. Maybe a way that was probably, you know, not in my best interest. But you can also like bounce off of that into getting a second opinion, you know? I'm not doing that. Another dental visit? But next time you go in, if they give you something, you go, send another, send another doctor. Yeah, I'm that brave.

You could be that brave. You've just built another brave. But I don't know what I want. Like another doctor, another dentist at the same place? Yeah. Bring in another one of these dentists that I've never met before. Yeah. Oh, she's definitely not going to tell the company line.

She's going to take my side. I only say because I did have a dentist, a couple dentists were like, you got to get a crown you got to get a crown and then this guy looked and he's like eh the the feeling's fine like we'll just hang on and we'll see if it needs repairing so it's like I'm going with his thing even though he's in the minority I'm not going to

and this is the only time you've ever sided with a minority it's true my record is spotty what's going on with you happy new year oh happy new year as well so we talked a couple weeks about

weeks ago about you're in this neighborhood fairly often. You may know this store. It was a rug store that was going out of business forever. Just down the hill. Just down the... Yeah. Up the hill.

A King Edward. King Edward and Camby. And then there's two because there's one on Broadway as well. Oh, they're all going out of business. Yeah. It's a tough business to get in. But since I moved here into this neighborhood, it's always been clearance. We're going out of business.

Then... Clarence, we've got some very nice parents. Clearance, we're going out of Barrens. The, they put up an even bigger banner that said, like, really going out of business. We lied to you, long banner. Yeah.

We lied to you before. Ignore the fake banner, this is for real. If they said, we're staying in business, I would be like, huh, that's interesting. Yeah, I wonder if I can go in there if they're staying in business. In fairness to them, I know that the sign is just trying to put the hat on you.

Obviously, right? That's the whole point of that sign. Yeah. But in fairness to them, it is kind of not a great human trait where there's a local business and you drive by it a hundred times and never go in. Then they say going out of business when it's not a rugstore and you believe it. And like vultures, we go and we're like, oh, like you're desperate. Let me come pick the bones off of your dream that you had.

And then people go in and they're like, where were you guys? When I wasn't willing to lose money on the product. Well, let me tell. you they put up a big banner they added a countdown clock that's my wedding ring on the floor um days left days left days left and then i went we went in sally and i went into the rug store it started like 56 days left yeah and it slowly counted and i was like these are not counting down i think they're just putting them up and they're randomly changing the number nope they were counting them down uh Sally and i went into the store and they were like it's true

We're going out of business. Like, I'm selling the business. I'm retiring. And we never would have went. We never would have went into the rug store if it hadn't been for there. And there were, were the rugs a great deal? Well, here's the thing. I didn't know how expensive rugs are, having never bought a new rug.

I remember, like, when I first lived on my own, going to IKEA and being like, oh, all this stuff is so cheap. Oh, these rugs are more expensive than they should be. Yeah. And, like, would, like, have you bought a rug? Like a new rug? Yeah. Yeah. Have you over?

No, I think I bought one online. Yeah. So yes. But I don't remember how much it costs or anything. I don't remember. So the, I, like, in my mind, I thought, like, for just the kind of middle of the road, just rug-style rug. I was thinking, like, $5 to $700. Okay.

Mr. Moneybags? The cheapest one in the store started at, like, $1,200. So I was like, and they had them. And this is going out of business prices. This is going out of business. Like, this is slashed. So, like, other ones that were, like, 24 going for a thousand or whatever. And I'm like, yes, you were lying about going out of business for so long.

I'm going to believe you're slashed prices. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's also, though, I mean, I don't know. When we're calculating how much a rug should cost in our heads, what are we basing it off? Because, like, have you ever seen a rug being made or the materials that go? No.

I just go, like, everything's cheap. So should you. Everything's cheap. And this, here's the thing that. So I'm just trying to find, like, I bought a rug online. Can I check my email and see, can I find when this rug was from and see what I paid? Rug.org.

It's probably from rug.org, the nonprofit. Yeah, the nonprofit organization. So this is the thing. Remember when, when you're young, you go to a poster store and they had like the flip. You could flip through the different posters. So that's what they, they. It was horizontal, but they had to, like, lift up each carpsie. Like, I want to see the bottom, fifth from the bottom.

And this old guy had to come over and flip them up. And then you'd look at them as they went along. At least in a poster store, you can be like, Lamborghini Coontas. Yeah, yeah. Cindy Crawford. Sydney Crawford. Uh, Cindy Pollock. Sydney Lumet.

So, yeah, we went in and we were like, let's buy a rug. And just, we were so. we were so unprepared for how expensive rugs are. And they also say, like, this one was hand pulled or hand wold? Yeah. And I was like, yeah, I don't care about that as much, you know? It seems cruel. Yeah, just roll out a line of carpets and just cut them carpet size.

I don't know what I mean? Yeah, get a carpet and cut a rug size. Yeah, it's exactly. Thank you. So. I remember we bought a carpet. That was a few hundred dollars, a rug. Yeah.

There was a few hundred dollars. And then dog sat for someone. And it peed on the rug immediately. And that was that. And it was, uh, the rug was like partially under the couch. And so the part that got peed on, we just put that under the couch. Just do a twist early rotation. Just burn the house to the ground.

Yeah. It was old as time. Um, but yeah, it was completely, like, I don't think I've been in a rug store since I was a kid at going to end of the roll, which was a carpet and rug store. You're shopping. End of the roll. And they had a forklift that had a giant spike on it, and that's how they'd move all the carpet from one place to another, and you could go hide in the carpet.

It was fun for kids. Go run around, hide in the carpet. For sure, damage the product. And end of the role is a place that their, like, model is that these are, like, cast off things that couldn't sell. So these are discounted. Yeah. Apparently, I don't know.

This could be another scam. Man, the Rugworlds. I don't know. You know? It's full of scam. So I go rug shopping. I buy a rug and the guy's like, you know, you need to come back every four months and get a new rug. You're like, fuck.

You can't just rotate this one? No, no. But I stood up to him and I didn't buy a rug for six months. And they took an x-ray of you sitting in a chair and they're like, imagine how much more comfortable if there was a rug. Yeah, my bones are looking really bad. But. Always made me laugh that they go in the other room. I know why they do it.

It's still very funny that they go in another room. To X-R-R-U? Yeah. You'll be fine. I just put this heavy bib on you, this, you know, weighted blanket. So I went, didn't buy a rug, even though it was like, oh, and then we saw one that we loved. And I were like, how much is that rug $4,000? Oh.

Whoa. Yeah. So, like, these guys didn't have to move a lot of rugs monthly to stay in business. I think if they sold, like, two rugs a month, that would be there. Well, I guess it depends. on the profit margin. Yeah, I know nothing about rugby. Yeah, these rugs cost them pennies on the dollar.

That's what he, so we assume, but I don't know. I mean, where are they coming from? The Ararat region of Afghanistan, absolutely, is one of them. Maybe, geez, Persia. Persia does a great rug. They do a fantastic rug. What would you pay for? They call it a toupee a rug.

How much way they pay for a toupee? Yeah, good toupee. What do you think that? goes. So, like, are we talking about the one where you guys shave your head and they put the glue on it and then they add it to your head and then it's like that for six months? No. No, we're just talking about it. Well, I'm just saying it's not like that for six months.

You think the glue on the DuPet's going to hold for six months? Well, you know, if you really weighed it down with a hat, you know, I'm talking about a great, the... A great piece. A great piece, but you are taking it on and off at the end of the day. Yeah. Oh, okay. I would spend, and this is a decent one? This is the best, top of the line.

Oh, the best? $2,000. Absolutely. And you wouldn't pay that, wouldn't pay twice that for a floor rug. Hmm. Exactly. Kind of goes to show you. I should be buying a rug for my head.

You could go 2,000, you go 1,000 more. You can get the real graph put in. You can do the. Go to turns to do it. You're off to turkey. God, is it not so synonymous. It is. You cannot mention skin graphs for, and without somebody saying turkey.

And you cannot mention turkey without, like, this Christmas, my dad, pull a, a, a hairy turkey out of the oven. My brother, Patrick, went to Turkey with his wife Renee to, he did buy life insurance. But he went there to go on Turkey on a holiday and everybody everybody was like getting some

hair done. He's just like, fuck you, okay? And then he went to Thailand and like, doing some sex tourism. Well, if you're going by yourself, absolutely. It's not a good look. Turkish tourism, when they bring it up, they go at least it's not Thailand. Oh, they should, what's on the turkey flag? Whatever it is, it should have a little rug on top, like a...

I think it's a moon and a star. Yeah, so just a little piece on top, that would be kind of... The star is, it represents the hair, the little spikes. I think that might be very offensive, given what it probably represents. Yeah, good point. Well, you can edit it out. We'll see. Just delete the episode.

I got a lot of my plate this week. Yeah, so. So then we went home, ordered a rug online. Oh, cool. From a Canadian rug distributor. Elbows up. Yep, exactly. I'm eating corn squares exclusively by a Canadian rugs.

Corn squares. They say they're made in Canada on the box. It's so weird. There's like every beer in the store, even the import beers are like, well, this has just been bottled in Cranbrook PC. Yeah, that's fine. We put the labels on in Manitoba and shipped them out to you. It's, so has this a rug arrived yet? It is currently sitting at the FedEx pickup.

Here? Here. Okay. So it is here. We have to go out to the airport to get that or is it? No, there's a low, there's one on Camby. Is it Camby in like 41st? Yeah.

Right across there from the liquor store. It might pop into the liquor store while in there. Oh, sure. See, see what's going on in the gluten-free beer market. Mm, just JFB. Oh, buddy. Rolled doll's favorite drink. Whenever I get the rug unfurled, I'll post a picture on the Discord and everybody can see it.

Yeah, can you lie naked on it? Yeah. Like Bert Reynolds style? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Does his Schwanza? Yeah, I mean, I think the photo cuts off just at his cum gutters, but. I call them DeAngelo's, but I do know what you're talking about.

We all know what I'm talking about. I got a big thing of fruit by the foot and it like snips it at the end. I call that my gum cutters. Not fruit by the foot. Bubble tape. Damn it. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard? Sure.

What are overheards? Oh no. Shut up. Is I not, should I, should I know? Cram's going to have to tell you. No, he's funning you. He knows what it is. Is it when you overheard something?

I'm Jordan Cruciola, host a feeling scene, where every week I have a different actor, director, or writer as my co-host. And whoever that co-host may be, it is a sure bet that we are digging deep and having a great time doing it. I love that you just did that. Yeah, I mean, if I were going to join a cult, I think this might be it. A fresh look at your favorite film and a peek behind the curtain at how movies get made. Oh, okay, I'm going to tell you this whole story. Okay, I almost got fired from that movie. you should be listening to Feeling Seen.

I had so much fun. I love what you're doing. I hope I did okay. New episodes every week on Maximum Fun. On Judge John Hodgman, the courtroom is fake, but the disputes are real. Brian would say, I'm the Gumby of this family. He's just not. Claiming to be Gumby is an ungambi-like claim. No, it's just Gumby and I being our authentic selves.

So what's your complaint? Too many sauces? There are no foods on which to put the sauces. Have we named all the sauces on the top shelf yet? Not even close. You economize when it comes to pants. Truly, it's not about the cleanliness of the pants. Well, why isn't it? This is what I want to know. Judge John Hodgman, fake court, weird cases, real justice.

On maximum fun.org, YouTube, and everywhere you get podcasts. Overheard. Overheard's a segment where we hear things and then boy, oh boy, I bet you want to hear things too. And so we deliver it to you. Our guest says he doesn't have one, but I don't believe it because he's lived such a wild life. But we'll start with Dave. Dave, do you have been overheard? No.

Oh, shit. I hate you. This sucks. It sucks. I have no good ones. Yeah. I used them all up over Christmas. I gave them.

I put some overheard them. my kid's stockings. Right. No, I would not a specific one, but I was somebody telling somebody this the other day. Have you guys ever heard of the hypnotist of the Great Ravine? Of course. You'll never forget Ravine. So, no, the other day, nobody knew what I was talking about.

He's like, I was like, he's the best hypnotist ever. Yeah. So I went to a Great Ravine show once. Oh, it was so good. He had like, like, he would hypnotize people to, he had like a record you could buy to quit smoking. Yeah? He was doing the Lord's work.

Yeah, that's right. quit smoking and then there's another and I had the quit smoking record Reveen had Zins for the mind I go to a DJ show and then he drop a Reveen Rip Reveen So I went to a Reveen show

And while he was hitman as a big show Sold out obviously sold out How long ago was this? He's dead I think He is dead Yeah yeah But his son has taken over And he looks just like Reveen

And that's true What an illusion The illusions continue Thank you. Not an illusionist. So it was like 20 years ago. Okay. You know, roughly.

You know, how time is weird. But like, um, so we were at the show sold out theater and he's hypnotizing people. And at the same time, he's arguing with his wife off stage. And he's like, he's like, he's like, come on. Like, I don't remember exactly what he was saying, but he was certainly arguing. And you could hear his wife and you could hear him arguing. And my friend had been to a ravine show before. Very fortunately, this is his second reveree show, you know, coveted ravine shows.

And I was like, oh, is this part of like to like throw your mind off? This is the prestige? Well, like, is it like while, because he's literally hypnotizing people on the stage and arguing with his wife. And I was like, maybe it's a subconscious part of it. And he was like, no, no, I'm pretty sure he's just arguing with his wife from the stage. And the show is so funny. I don't know if you've ever been to a Ravine show. No, I hope to go to one soon.

It is incredible. The Orpheum Theater has a wall of fame. And it's only got like five names on it of people who perform there a lot. And it was like Bob Hope, Joan Rivers, I want to say like Nana Muscuri and Ravine. Wow. So it was like Bob Hope, Joan Rivers, and then someone much, much more talented. Yeah. And then someone insanely above them, the Great Reveen.

Yeah. When I, years and years and years ago, I opened for Joan Rivers. And she did her own announcing off the top. And she said, like, uh, her line was, oh, it's great to be here at the River Rock Casino. So it's come to this. Everybody laughs. She's great, man. She was so funny.

Um, Dave, do you haven't overheard? Yeah. Uh, no. Uh, but shit. so this is overseen it sucks um so uh there's a car dealership here called carter yeah carter uh i don't know chevy sure they do you know well once you're once you're big enough to be a car dealer you can do any brand you want absolutely audies sobs uh toyotas and and you know how uh when you buy a car they give you the um a license plate the license plate frame and this was from

Carter and but on the other side of the license frame it said trust Vince and so it just looked like trust Vince Carter and I was like oh yeah he's good of dunking a basketball oh you were going to use car industry to what what do they what's the deal with those places played holders uh we didn't have playholders I did super sales so you ever see the movie The Goods with Jeremy Piven yes I've seen every other Jeremy Pivot movie. PCU? You seen PCU?

Of course I've seen PCU. We would go to a small town and take over a dealership and put a big blow-up gorilla on the roof and just sell cars out of the dealership for the week and then go off to the next town. Where'd you get the cars? We sold their cars

for them because it was like a super sales system. It was very dialed in. You might say aggressive. I think I softened it by saying dialed in. Would you would like tons of radio ads all week

tons of radio ads we're going to have the radio station there flood the flyers you know sure hot dogs and stuff like that everything so you're just trying to create a big event and then they're just trying to create a big event these it works

but yeah they would just bring us in to sell the cars to put the hats on everyone yeah everyone I worked with was I was going to say scumbags but it just seems a little rude because they're not bad people in general.

Yeah, they're just scumbags. They just, it was like... Well, they're saying the same thing about you. I'm sure they would. I'm still friends at some of them. Not anymore with scum of one. One of them's in prison. You know, it's, uh, it's, they're not, they're not,

look, we just took a job and we were... Yeah, well, the system's the problem. So I did the job, so I can't really... I was hired and I was like, oh, I was trained, and then I went and did it. While I was doing it, I realized that I wasn't fit for it. That was right when you had your first adult thought. Not yet.

I'm still six years away. There was a couple that had crashed their car and got a check from their insurance company. They were an older couple. Bad credit. No credit. So we specialize in. They're called subprime. We specialized in subprime.

Sure. People. And they were like going to buy this car. And then I was like, you know what you should do? And I was like, just go online and buy a used Toyota Camry. I was like, you'll save tons of money. It'll be reliable. You don't need.

You don't need. Don't get a loan. and get payments with high interest or whatever. So I realized I was like, I'm not fit for do this job. I can't do this. I can't put the hat on people. They put the hat on you.

I felt like I was using like, you know, my, my, like, talents for evil. Did they put up a plaque saying worst employee? This is the worst guy of the month? No, my boss got mad at me once. One time he was like, how come you never bring any friends or family in? And all I thought was because they're my friends and family. Like, you bring your friends and family. My dentist actually put up a plaque, said most plaque.

Most flag. Congratulations. And the weird thing, you know how they have the little mirror that they put in your mouth? Yeah. She gave me the mirror and she said, I'm going to leave the room. You check out your body. You can explore yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't have a full hand mirror, but really explore yourself in detail. There's some mysteries down there that you should discover. Graham, do you haven't overheard? Barely. I was watching a video clip of somebody describing Nardwar, the human suburbia. Video clip of someone described. Like Sasquatch. Like when you explain what Nardwar is, it doesn't, all the pieces of it don't make any sense.

Okay. He's like a guy, he's got a high-pitched voice, he researches records that the interviewers or interviewees would have owned or whatever. And then the guy said, and he's got like this crazy hat. And this other guy goes, yeah, it's like a tartan. And he like looked like he would just heard a word that he's never heard before. Tartin, what the fuck's the turn? And then the person said, plaid. Oh, yeah, plaid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know a plaid hat. That's my overheard. Yeah. Very good, but... Wow. How do, boy, how... I guess I'm not...

I haven't had to give my kids the talk. Yeah, about Nardwar. About Nardwar? Yeah, what's the deal with... Like, you do not need to be afraid of Nard war. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a real pussy cat. Natural.

He's... Nardwar is totally natural. Yeah. Do you ever see the interview where he does with Blur and the guy tries to bully him. Yeah. And then you know, that guy said that he quit drinking after that. Oh, really?

And he said he watches it every couple of years to remind himself why he doesn't drink. Really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, which is, and if you watch the interview, he should be ashamed of himself. Yeah, he's not. It's crazy how mean he is to sweet innocent, is that where you want to be when Jesus comes back, bully and Nardwar?

And was that, that was on much music, dude. Yeah, way back in the day. This was before Nardwar truly blew up. Yeah. He was like our little secret. And it was before Kevin Federline found out on air that he was getting a divorce from Britney Spears. Well, he didn't find out from Nardor. No, that's true.

Nodwer wasn't involved at all. You're right. He pulls out the divorce papers. Have you seen these? You probably remember these. Wait, what? Are those? No.

Man, you do your research. Do do, do, loot, do. Do, do. We also have overheard sent into us by people all over the world if you want to send one in. Send it into SBI at maximum fund.org. This first one comes from Ben L in Orlando, Florida. I was in the grocery store, and the guy in the next checkout lane was talking to the high school age kid bagging the groceries. I didn't even have that anymore.

We're bagging our own groceries. Oh, yeah. Some have been some upscale place. And no high school kids at all. No. Well, the one I'm the grocery store I go to, I'm not allowed to. You're not allowed to wait. They're not allowed to be able to.

I'm not allowed to go to the grocery store that has high school kids. The guy said. And describe Nardroar to them. He just heard the guy say, yeah, you need to take out your phone. You wouldn't believe it. You've got to look this up. The first season of the Wild Wild West was in black and white.

Have you told me all of them were in black and white? When I roll into the Wild World West. When a stroll into the Wild Wild West. Remember Jim West? You remember Jim West? Do you remember when Will Smith used to just take a song? Rough Ryder? No, you don't want.

Should have been Darius McCrary in Wild Wild Blast. It wasn't for that Jaliel White. Fucking right. Yeah. Different universe. A more perfect universe. Did you think Darius McCrary would have went on stage and slapped Chris Rock? No, no, no.

No. I doubt it. Yeah, he doesn't even know Jada Pinkett Smith. He's like, go have that her. I don't care. Friend of mine owned it. Yeah, go ahead and make fun of her. I don't know.

Yeah. She's just married to that hack, Will Smith, who never went anyway. um that'd be great jada picket smith is also a huge star in this universe yeah he's not famous but she's famous and has his name this next one comes from uh anne in toronto i am i am on the subway sitting across from a couple of guys who've been drinking in the middle of the day one is saying to the other. It's like that guy. You know, the first president? Washington?

No, no. The one that got shot. Lincoln? Yeah, and they're still talking about it. Yeah, even to this day, get over in America. Especially, I mean, they're only talking about it because he was the first president. He was the first president. He was probably the first bearded president. No, I doubt

that. He just phased out the penny. Or Lincoln. Yeah. Buy Lincoln pictures. Was he on the $1 bill as well? I don't know. He's on the five. He's on the penny, though, right? Yeah, he was on the penny.

Okay, let's look up some greenbacks. They're still talking about it. It's a good, interesting story. I mean, it's not a bad story. John Wilkes. Yeah. John Wilts' booth, shot him in a booth. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, Frank Gary died. No. Ninety-one years old, Frank. Okay, well, now we're not. we've dated the episode. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

So, listeners. He's still alive. Yeah. What's your favorite friend Gary? For me, it's got to be. The Bilbao, whatever, Moma. Mine is the Sydney Opera House. Is that him?

Oh, I doubt it. He's all squanky. He makes the squawky building. He is. He makes very squanky. I think maybe he designed the Winnipeg Human Rights Museum? Been there.

Me too. Sad place. Bad place. Not fun. No. Not a place I would go more than once either. It sounds like a bar joke, but I went with a Muslim friend and a Jewish friend, and we walked through the whole thing, and if they kept teasing me about being the bad guy on

all the floors. A few of them, I was like, actually, you're kind of the bad guy on this one. Wait, wait, wait. I'm going to get to the, like, hall of the door one, and I was like, what about this? And they were like, no one cares. It's like, ow. Come on. Come on, this is my one.

Oh, he did the Experience Music Project in Seattle, too. Oh, cool. He does all these weird building. He was such a weird guy. Well, in his buildings, where I don't know if he was a weird guy personally. Well, he gave me permission to be weird. All of his weird school was, like crumbled up building. It does.

It looks like all of his stuff. It's just cardboard. Oh, I watched, I think it was, maybe even Sidney Pollock directed it. It was like an American Masters, um, PBS show about him. about Frank Gary and in his even though he was Canadian but in his studio he would literally be crumpling paper and throwing it at the model

being like what do we think about this side I love it because that one really looks like crumpled paper This is the looks like it says UTS on the top of this building UTS. It's maybe where they make UTS chips They misspelled them

This last one comes from Brandon B from South Carolina I was playing charades with my 10-year-old daughter the other night and she was performing these absolute manic clues that had little to do with the prompt on the card when I asked her to maybe do something that resembled the prompt so I had to have a better chance of getting at it.

She said, I thought about that, but I don't want to give it away. I don't want you to get this one. It's a private movie. I haven't done charades in a while. I did them not, maybe sometime within the last two years, I feel like. I played a game of charades. Alex, what's your charade? I'm embarrassed to say, but it's actually kind of funny

because I was like, it was when I was in my early 20s, and we were just a bunch of guys selling weed in apartment. And I was with some, like, this guy named Moon, kind of like a thug dude, and all these like thuggy kind of guys that I hung out with in my early 20s. I haven't had a complete thought yet, so just keep that in mind.

But I convinced them to play charades. You know how the weed dealer always wants to hang out and play charades with you? I wish I could show you pictures of these guys. You'd be like, these guys played charades? Real, like, baggy jean wearing, like, thugs. And they loved it. Oh, sure. Like, when we got going, and then another time...

Did they think you invented it? No. Moon, this guy, Moon, was like... He was like, we should play charades again. And I'm not going to do an impression of his voice. but that's not how it sounds. And he was just like, you know, we should, and it was really fun. It really loosened them up.

If you've ever been around tough people, it's exhausting. Do you, do you, is there a specific clue that you remember? Yeah. So the moon was with my friend Wackman, who, uh, who's an engineer. All these people sound like Kramer's friends. Yeah. And so. Bob Sagamara.

Franklin to Eleanor Roosevelt. Moon is like a guy. Moon has 20-20-inch, you know, chrome rims on his car and chains and stuff. Real tough guy. No grill yet, though. No grill. And my friend Wackman is like an engineer whose parents are British and whatever. Because you know how these sort of things can bring odd people.

People love weed. Yeah. And at the time, this was the original dispensary. Shakespeare was kind of the original rapper. So we're all there. and I remember for some reason Moon and Weckman who weren't friends We just stuck them together They had this weird connection

And I remember Weckman just going Like that And Moon was sitting there and he just goes Shrek And I was like How did you get that? And it was like I loved it because I was like You guys barely know each other But there's some sort of subconscious

Connection between the two of you You chose you know what It shows we're all humans deep down It doesn't matter what part of the we're on the tracks, what side of the tracks you're from? Absolutely. When I was a kid, there was this show called Throb.

Jesus. And what was it about? I don't know. People in an office. Okay. And the theme song was, I'm working T-H-R-O-B. I'm working throb to the beat, to the beat, to the heartbeat.

But in my family, there's just like a running joke of like charades, a TV show. One word. And then you tap on your heart. Throb. Um, have you guys ever play the game hum, humdinger or humzinger? No.

It was, it's like charades, you can only hum a song. So, like, if you're not, it's actually really hard to guess what, if you don't know what the song is, when somebody humming, it's, it's a lot of fun. I remember my grandpa had really trying to get across that he was humming the song. I love being a girl. And, uh, from what's that song? It's from a movie, I think. Can you try to do it?

I love being a girl. Try to just hum a song and see if we can... Let's have a quick game of hum. That's a good audio game for the listeners. Okay. In fact, this is a new segment on the show called Humzinger. Humzinger? And we're doing it in every episode now.

Absolutely. Graeme is the one doing it every time. So this can be from any point in time. This could be any song. So this can be from 5,000 BC. Yeah. That's a dinosaur I love being a dino

Wait, that's the Mayan Ryan Sunrise chant I knew Don't you think you're going to get the Mayan sunrise chant Pass me Nice try Okay, here it goes I love being a girl

Yeah, you got it You cheated I wanted to play for real I did too Okay I'll do one I'll do another one Batman Nice, you guys go

Okay, here's one And there's a clue in the room Okay Um-hmm Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Hmm-hmm Oh, that part of the end

The clue is On Graham's chest That's cemetery It's pet cemetery By the Ramones Okay, Alex, you do one real quick Mm-hmm Hmm-hmm

Celebrate. Yeah, this is too easy. That's good. Fun, fun, fun game. That's what makes the game so fun. Now, in addition overhards that are written in, I have to go in 10 minutes. Okay. We also accept your phone calls and your voice memos if you want to call us or send us a voice memo.

Send the voice memo to SPY at maximum fun.org. Wait, they can't hear us right now. No. Oh, my goodness. My heart. All that stuff you wanted to edit it out, it is out. It's, you can imagine doing that. You can edit this head, just live.

And if you want to leave us a voicemail, it's 1, 844-779-631, that's one. Ugh, spy pod one. Caller, you're on the line. Uh, yeah, I was really offended by the thing that you said about Paul Wall. This is the border control. I understand that you admitted to being, working illegally in the United States. States? You admitted to being poor? And then I just go, but I'm rich.

And they go, go, got us again. Over and out. Here we go. Phone calls. Hi, Dave Graham and probable guests. I'm at a professional women's hockey game, and one of the kids next to me just said, ooh, I'm going to go say hi to the refs. Oh, off I go.

Nerd. Yeah, and also, like, he was really selling that he was at that hockey game. Yeah, if you're sending in a voice memo, try to point the phone away from the roaring crowd. Or, you know what? Keep it in your mind for about two minutes go outside, send us a message, back inside you go. In the radio world, we call that Nat Sound, and it was nothing wrong with it. Yeah, okay. It's great.

We love your Nat Sound. Yeah, didn't he start Whitespot Nat Sound? No, that was Nat Bailey. Saying hi to the refs is a weird move for a kid. Yeah. But they're kind of the coolest guys on the ice when you're a kid because they just get to skate around wherever they want. This is a women's hockey game.

Those might be women. Oh, shit. I've always wanted the refs to be grilled after the game. They always interview the players. It's like, my questions a lot of the times are for the refs. Yeah. Why do you make that shitty call? Right.

You can't grill them after the game. Well, no, never mind. They've got kind of grill marks already on their shirts. Stop. It's Roxanne calling from Toronto. I was just on Bloor Street and I overheard two friends walking behind me and they were talking about one other person that they know. I don't know who this person was, but it sounded like that person had accused one of the friends behind me of being jealous of them. And one of the friend goes, what would I be jealous of?

The worst man in Hamilton making you dinner? Anyways, off I go. The worst man in Hamilton. Lynn Manuel Moran? Just that there would be one that is agreed upon amongst Hamiltonians. There's some guy who knows he's a listener and he's going, oh. Come on, I make a good dinner. I make a girl dinner, I'm a bad man, but I'm a good cook.

I'm trying to get up from the bottom round. Yeah, exactly. One dinner at a time. Um, yeah, I mean, who's the worst guy in Vancouver? Yeah. Oh, boy, Francesco Aqualini, the owner of the Vancouver Connect. Who is the toughest guy from Winnipeg? Oh, rags ruggles.

Wasn't it rugs wriggles? Might have been ragged riggles. I was partying in P.E.I. once and my friend's older brother sent us out. He's like, I can't go with you, but I'm going to send you with my buddy, Ace. No one in P.E.I. can beat Ace in a fight. And I was like, it's crazy. P.I. is not that big of a point. place. Then I go out and I'm really, like, drunk. And I started asking just random people.

And I was like, can anyone beat Ace in a fight? And no, everyone was like, oh, no, no one can beat Ace in a fight. He literally was like, crowned toughest guy in PEI. Did he take your dinner? It also felt great to be with him because I was like, yeah, we're with, we're with Ace. I know I'm safe tonight, unless I piss off Ace. Yeah, which is easy. Yeah. Ace seem nice enough. All right. And here's your final phone call. of 2026. We did it. Hey, Dave, Graham, and

guest, this is Bob in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Got an overheard. I was with some family. My brother was talking about his next-door neighbor, and my nephew says, oh, I thought he said he didn't talk to his son anymore.

My brother goes, really? I don't remember him saying that. And then my nephew says, oh, I might be thinking of the guy from home I said, the guy with the snow shovel, he goes, yeah, that's what I was thinking of. Anyway, off I go. That old man that saved the day. Boy, I haven't talked to my daughter in a while if we left things in a bad place.

Yeah, I'm scared to talk. Don't be scared. I went down in the basement and did some laundry. I just watched it last night. It's so good. It is a lot of fun. When I was a kid and it came out, I was like, oh, what fun. I was like, fuck this kid.

What fun it is to watch two robert's get flambayed. Well, that brings us to the end of the podcast here. Alex, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you for having you. It was a blast. And you are, you're, would I say that you're the in-house host of comedy after dark? No. No, there's other people that host?

Other people host. I mean, Chilowack tonight. I'm into the bright lights of Chilowac. Oh, nice. And is it safe to say you're Mark Maren's Zinn guy? Not anymore. Yeah. At one point, former Mark Marenzin guy.

Yeah. I'm on C-Fox. You know? C-Fox. Oh, the Fox Rocks. Yeah, the Fox Rocks, Fox Weekends. On Instagram, I have my own Instagram account. What's your Instagram?

Alex J. Carr. That's two R's on car. Two R's on car. Oh, that's pretty good. Yeah. You can use that. Two R's on car. I do, because it is the spell of my name, but thank you.

Graham? Yep. Don't give that away for free. No, you're right. Oh. I'm an idiot. Well, thank you. And when you're on Seafox,

do you want the ninth caller at 280-269? You need your listener. I was a big contest winner in my youth. Yeah, good for you. Went to a lot of movie premieres. I do the weekends. Got a kokin-y shirt. I do the weekend, so I give away the worst prizes.

They just go, you want to go to Gagor Bodelli? Who's Gagor-Badelli? Is it Gogogor Bordella? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what I gave away last week. Do you know who that is? Yeah.

It's like an Eastern European kind of punk rock. And the guy, the lead singer, is insane. Well, I gave away tickets to that last week, and I regret not getting the pronunciation. Oh, you've got to go Zhe Gogol Borgelo. Giggles, Babonzo. That's me on air. Gaggles, good, whatever. I don't know.

I don't care. They're going to fire me in three months anyway. Just call it. or don't. I don't, whatever. Whatever. Here's ACDC. Well, thank you very much,

and thank you everybody out there for listening. You know what? This week, make a call into your local radio station. Try to see what you can win. And come on back next week for another episode to stop podcast for yourself.

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