Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 930 - Christine Bortolin

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Comedian Christine Bortolin returns to talk otter influencers, losing your mind, and uncle presents. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 9.30 of Stop Podcasting yourself. My name's Graham Clark. And with me as always is a man who I'm just so glad to see him. I haven't seen him since the break. I know you listening to it. You're beyond the Christmas time, but I'm just so glad to be here.

It's so nice to see it, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's been a break, but I'm still feeling Christmasy. Yeah. It is weird how some people just take all their stuff dead right away. We did. Like our Christmas tree was gone by New Year's Day.

Really? Mine's still up. And you're not even Mr. Christmas. No. But Sally's Mr. Christmas. And I'm Mrs. Not Christmas. Is Sally Mr. Halloween as well? We're both Mr. Halloween.

Yeah, yeah. And then we love the equinox. Yeah. Is there a third holiday you like? I guess St. Patrick's Day is pretty fun. Wow. But like, what's another one? Canada Day?

Like, go to Miami. Easter, good Friday. Easter is something you can buy candy for. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Yeah, you can put on. There's, in my building, there's a hallway that, the old superintendent who still lives there. She decorates it for every, Olga.

Yeah. She decorates it for every special thing. So in January, it's New Year's, February, it's Valentine's Day, March. It's St. Patrick's Day. She puts up all these great decorations. It's very sweet. And in September is it? September 11.

She creates an effigy of the Twin Towers. Exactly. Piniata. That person you hear is a return guest to stop podcast. She's one of our favorites of all time. Multiple times a year, I'll check and be like, what was Christine last on? She's just on in January.

So I'll do that in March, probably. But she's a director, she's an improviser. It's Christine Borland. Hello. Hello. Thanks for having me. Thanks for the clap. Yeah.

I was going to whistle, but then I was like, no, it's too much. That's my new thing, though. I don't clap, but shows anymore. I only whistle. Do you, are you a good whistler? Okay, give them some space. It's a little bit airy, but... Oh, I was expecting the sort of like...

No, that's too deafening. The fingers in the mouth. That takes attention. But that's what you hear it shows. Yeah, but it's too loud. Did you see the thing on R slash Broadway? Go on. The guy getting mad of the people behind him.

I did see that. For singing along during Mamma Mia. Oh, my God. Dave, we're too on Reddit. We're so. terminally on Reddit. It was pretty funny, but they took him away, but then they brought him back. And there was a big debate on there about like, well, you, it's like about etiquette.

Yeah. But I think you'd be able to sing along. You're at a play. You're not at a concert. No, I know, but Mama Mia, like, good luck not singing along, you know. When you hear that music, you got to. It kind of has a rocky horror vibe where maybe you do sing along to it. The vibe with Mamma Mia?

I would feel like it is. Is that like what percentage of shows are you allowed to stick along to? Just the ones you decide? And this is a Broadway show. So you're spending a lot of money to hear professionals sing. And then you've got these people who maybe have really like music. But I'm spending a lot of money to hear, you know, Bruce Springsteen sing. That's true.

And I'll sing along to that. Yeah. But then they're on these, he's on this mic. He gave me a pick once. Bruce Springsteen. Yeah. Oh, should we get to know us? No, no.

No. No. No. This is pretty good. That was very short. Let's get to know. Yeah. Okay.

Here we go. Get to know us. Bida and I went to his concert and then he gave this kid a harmonica and he gave me his pick. Were you front row? We were standing in the front. And he gave you his pick? Yeah. Yeah.

No, everyone else had seats, but we came and just stood in front of the mall. Everyone was very polite. And he awarded that behavior. Now, are you a Springsteen fan or was this just a thing that you have to get tickets to? Big Springsteen fan. He started. He opened with Atlantic City. Oh, my God.

They did like a three-hour concert. It was the best concert I think I've ever been to. Three hours. You were like still like, we want more after hour two. Well, yeah. I mean, the whole time he's famous for it. He's been doing that for 50 years. That's 50 years times three hours.

That's 150 hours he's done. He does go to once. And all you need is 10,000 hours to be a master of something. All you need. It's all you need. Does he do in between song banter? Seems like a guy does banter. Does he introduce his band like 50 times?

Oh, yeah. And they all get their moment, too. And everyone's like, yeah. It is so much fun. I'm glad Max Weimber is still out there touring with the band. Isn't he? He's part of the band, right? I think so, yeah.

He's a drummer and then there's... I don't think they've... I think, yeah, you're in the ban until you die. I don't know if anyone's quit. Oh, that's right. They took a blood oath. They all cut themselves with knives and then stood in the circle. I don't think, yeah.

Do we think that Bruce Springsteen would work out in jeans? Oh. If he's prepping for a show, we're just running around in jeans, I could see him working out in jeans. Yeah, like not going to, obviously not going to a public gym, but, you know, his private gym does he go? Try it. You know, make sure he's in shape in jeans. If he's lazy enough, too. Like, you get down there, you realize, oh, I'm actually wearing jeans.

But I don't want to go all the way upstairs. I'll just do my arms. Can you do that? You can do anything you want. You can do anything you want. He's probably got, I mean, not to quote Sidney here, but he's got good jeans. She wrote the campaign herself. Like, really thinking about Sydney.

She writes at the ad. She comes in. She's good. But, like, you know, genes in our, even in our adult lives have gone from super wide to super skinny to super wide. Bruce Springsteen's never changed. No, he's always, he's been like a comfortable fit. I'd love to see him in Jinkos. What is he?

Oh, yeah. I'm guessing just whatever a 501 is. Yes, totally. What was his encore song? I don't remember. It was just to. I remember the Atlantic City. I remember the story.

I was like, what? He's starting with this? We are in for it. Does Bita care about Bruce Springsteen? Bita liked Bruce Springsteen. I don't know how she feels about him now. Does she still have the harmonica? She didn't get it. A little boy got it. Oh, okay. But I just had my, he just like shook my hand and we shared a laugh and he gave me his pick. We shared a laugh. I just remembered being like, wow, I just shared a laugh with Bruce Springsteen.

I got to give Aaron this pick because I don't know how to use it. You gave it to Aaron? I tried to and he was like, no, you need to keep that. Put it in Lusite. Put it in the shelf. They're like 50 cents. I can get my own. It's a nice thought though to give away the pick to somebody you can use it.

You can use it. You turn it into a necklace. You're wearing a necklace right now. That's true. I don't know if I'm that big of a fan. I feel like that if you're wearing like that's like gear you wear to a Bruce Brickson convention. Or it's a conversation starter.

Yeah. Yeah. You're dying to. for someone to ask you about that necklace. What are the booths at a Bruce Springsteen convention? Oh, man. Jeans, obviously. Yeah.

Of course. Pankies. Probably like a comb. Come booth? Yeah. He's got great hair. We're thinking booths at a convention are for... Like, to sell wears?

Yeah, to sell wears, I guess. So probably something for like a little Stephen style headscarves. Yes. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. You know, lots of copies. He's of Philadelphia.

There was the whole booth. Mm-hmm. He designed Philadelphia. Lots of shirts with the sleeves ripped off. Did he have the sleeves ripped off for this concert? Oh my gosh. I don't remember. I assume he would, but that's just me assuming because I wanted to be true.

Yeah. Yeah. I sweat on stage. I used to play in bands and I would sweat on stage if we played a 20 minutes set. Yeah. I don't know. Like, it was and I wasn't, it was just the lights, I guess. I'm just a hot, sweaty person.

Yeah. But I can't imagine. three hours. I can't imagine doing honestly anything on stage for three hours, aside from 24 hours. Yeah, you do do a 24-hour comedy show. What you're doing again in May? Fifth time. Wow. And when I told my parents, they were both like, I think keep doing this. You're keeping the hoka company in business. Can't wait to buy those new hocus. My current hoga's, great shape. Oh, nice. Last year, they kind of fell apart. right now.

So when you do the 24-hour show, you buy a pair of hokas. Yeah. You're sort of like the finance minister when he does a new budget. Oh, that would be funny. And then you wear them throughout the year. They're your year. Just become regular. Yeah, daily shoes.

That's great. I hate the way they know. I love John Stewart's daily shoe. I didn't like as much of Trevor Noah took over. I really didn't. So, Christine, hello. Welcome back to the show. Thank you.

Have you seen Bruce Springsteen in concert? I'm so glad you asked. I actually have been watching, I started watching on YouTube because I love YouTube. I get premium. They got me. Really? Because of the ads. I just watch so much of it.

Ads are just so, and I am a commercial director. Yes, that is true. Yeah. But you see the same thing so many times it's like, I get it. I just want to listen to this chill beat. Yeah. But I was watching this video of these people who have otters. Okay.

I don't know where they live. Like pets. They have pet otters. Okay. But they're responsible pet owners. So they have a bunch of pools of water. And they're showing you how, like, they feed the otters. And then they put the otters in this massive, like, blowings.

up pool that they replace, I guess. Are these people, are they North American? I don't think so. I don't know where they are. And this is like around a house? Well, that's what I assume. You don't meet the people, I guess. Yeah, you see like their legs.

Oh, okay. But I assumed that they were in a house. But after watching for a while, I realized when they went out on the balcony and they were filling up this massive tub of water that they, that they were like in a high rise. No. Yes. Wow.

And they had a next door neighbor. Imagine being the neighbor of someone who has otters and they're constantly screaming. Who's an otter influencer? Yeah. Yeah. Don't they like save a rock in there? They have a pocket that they save a rocket to crack open. Oh, I didn't see that.

Yeah. I got to watch more content. I got, yeah, I saw that on YouTube. It's the Easter eggs. Yeah. The, yeah, I'm worried about this, you know, the structural integrity of the patio. All that water. You're not supposed to have a pool out there.

No, they're like, we refill the pool all the time. Just imagine it. And like they leave it out there. And then the otters are like jumping around in it and splashing water everywhere. So it's easy. And also they're out on the balcony. So they could jump out accidentally and that's. Yeah.

And they're screaming too. What are they screaming about? Like, they just like, that's just what they do. I guess that's them talking. But the scream, I think, would get me too. Just someone is like a normal neighbor. And then they start being an otter in food. Oh, just by the way, these otters are wearing, they're kind of early birds.

They wake up around five and do some screaming. If you see the otters here at the aquarium, they, they know when a big group is watching and they'll do a thing where they spin chasing their own crotch. It's the best. Yeah. I've been chasing my own crotch my whole life. You'll get there. You'll get there. You'll get it.

You'll get it. You've got to take out some ribs. So close. Take out some rib. I'm not chasing it with my mouth. He's chasing it with his heart, okay? What else is new on YouTube? Yeah.

Man, what else is new? Well, it's okay. You pay for YouTube premium. I pay for it. And I'm a, I'm, I'm, I pay for so many streaming services. I hate it. Yeah, I hate it too. But I haven't, I've never succumbed to that.

It's, I replaced Spotify with YouTube premium because you also get YouTube music. That's how I justify it. Because it's like $25 a month, which is a lot. It is a lot. But, and then I'll like swap off other ones when I really want to see something like slow horses. I got Apple TV for a bit to watch that again. Did you watch the most recent season? I did.

I'm not there yet. I'm two episodes in. Oh, nice. But you, I can already see from your face that you didn't like it as much. It wasn't my favorite season. But then by the end, I really got into it. Which one is this? Slow Horses.

Yeah. It's Gary Oldman and Kristen Scott Thomas. Oh, nice. She's so good. And then there's the one I want to watch is Pluribus. Is that how it's pronounced? What have you watched it, Dave? I have not.

I haven't finished, I'm still on season one of Better Call Saul. It's the same actress from that. that, right? Yes. Yeah. Oh, I never watched Better Call Saul, but I always wanted to. It's good. And I have the power to, I suppose.

But I watched the first episode of Plyrobus, and I wasn't into it. I wasn't into Breaking Bad from the first episode, too, because I was like, if he's going to be coughing like this through the series, I am. Is it the Vince Gilligan as well? Yeah. Vinny Gilly? Vinny Gilly. Oh. He's departed the Breaking Bad universe.

Oh, okay. And now he's made this show, and I've heard people mix reviews. People love it. Or they just are like, it's overhyped. It's very expensive. Like, compared to the other shows that were all, like this one's. Apparently it's like. Oh, really?

I guess there's like stuff breaking, like the world. Well, not as bad as breaking bad. What's it about? It's about, well, from the first episode, it's about like some stuff. Oh, man. Now I'm confused. You have started watching it and don't like it. You watched all of it?

No, I haven't seen any of it. Oh, I don't want to say anything. You don't say anything. Yeah. Just say what it's about. It's about this woman and stuff goes wrong in the world and she's a bit of a piece of crap. And I guess, but then she, she's negative, but then everyone's positive or something. I don't know.

That sounds, that's a great elevator pitch. Green light. Green light. I mean, I bet it's for a lot of people. It's just not for me. Yeah. Benafoul is really good. Yeah, I do want to watch that.

I like the idea of having to tell. you what a show is about. Yeah. Sum it up. Yeah. And you barely remember it. Yeah. Try not to get.

Well, it's like, he's like Sheldon, but he's younger. There's like an old pope and a new pope and they are in conversation. Join the conversation between the old pope and the new pope. Can I get some questions? Hashtag.

New Pope, old pope. Did you guys? I was surprised. we didn't get more from the new real Chicago Pope over Christmas. Oh, yeah. I didn't hear a whisper from him. Has he thrown out a pitch yet?

Yes, I think he did. You did? I think he did. I don't know about that. I feel like, didn't he? Wait, okay. Are we thinking of the naked gun? That's what I am thinking about, yes.

The greatest gag in that whole sequence is where the queen comes down and there's like two guys hanging out in her seats. Yeah. Like the Royal Fubb. Yeah, so like, would you, I try to watch YouTube, but then it's the ads. Yeah. But then paying another. I know.

That's why I didn't get anything else because I realized. So you're just YouTube. Just YouTube. And then I'll pop around to like let people know, like let Apple TV know, I want you to keep making the show. So I'm going to pay for it for a month. Wow. And then leave. Right.

I am, I still have cable. Oh, nice. So I'm, I feel no remorse about having to steal slow horses. Not at all. I'm paying so much for so much stuff. Yeah. And then, yeah, I should, I should be able to see whatever exists in the world. Yeah.

And it's, uh, but it's like every, it does it feel like everybody's watching a different show? Yeah, it's kind of exhausting. Yeah. The chair company. I really like that. I only see the first three episodes, but I, I enjoyed it. You liked it?

I wasn't into the first episode and then I gave it another shot and then I really liked it. Yeah. He gets lifetime pass. Yeah. Whatever he did. Well, okay. Careful. Here we go.

I'm going to say something problematic in 40 years. Oh, yeah. That would be a great like minority report where you cancel people in advance. Like you didn't say anything, but you're going to. Oh my God. There's so many like like celebrities. died young and they're like lionized and you're like, I bet Kirkobane would have done something stupid by now.

Didn't that happen to Bridget Bardot? She died and then someone was like, I love her. Oh, yeah. Chappel Rhone was like racist or something. Yeah. But and that was, you know, Chauvel Rhone said I loved her racism, which was like, yeah, come on. You can say you like her presence on screen.

Which I did. I could name so many Richard Bardo movies. I don't even want to get started. Herbie fully loaded. I feel like to remember her hairstyles more than anything. Yeah. Yeah. Great hair.

Yeah. Honestly, like, great hair will get you pretty far. Yeah. Like, when somebody with great hair, like, appears in a movie or TV show, that's all I want to see. I just want to look there. Cool. I want to see how it looks in a ponytail. Mm-hmm.

Like, different styles of it. Yeah, the ponytail is a big one. Like, a really strong ponytail. Yeah. Yeah. That's a presence. What's his face from Stranger Things showed up? There was so much, like the Joe Keri, that guy.

Oh, yeah. He's got great hair. Yeah, great hair. And everyone, that I remember. That was the center of the world for a month. Yeah, now I'm trying to think. Who's got the strongest pony is what I'm trying to think. The strongest pony.

Like a real, like Carrie Russell, I feel, has like. Oh, my God, that is like a wall of pony. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like she could pull it off. And she's like famous, beautiful hair. Well, yeah, and they cut the hair and lost the show. Yeah. This is Felicity.

We're talking about Felicity. Oh, I've heard of it. Yeah. The whole show was that she had great hair. That was like, really? Well, that's why anybody watched her. They would be like this pretty lady with great hair. I don't know what it was about.

Her and universe. She was Felicity. Yep. Okay. So now we're describing with that show. Yes. So this girl's kind of a piece of crap. Some things start going wrong.

She's negative. Other people are positive? She goes to college. Scott Speedman's there. Oh, yeah? Then she gets a haircut and everyone stops watching. Yeah. At one point, she cut it short and then they made her wear a wig because they were like,

not on art. Because I think she did it for a movie or something. Like, don't bite the hand that Felicity. Yeah. You know what I mean? I remember reading something. I don't know if it's true about Bill Murray on the set of Groundhog Day being annoyed with how long Andy McDowell's hair was taking. But it's like, are you like, think of how long you take making your jokes.

Yeah. And performance. Her hair is a huge part of why people are coming to this movie. True. Yeah. Like, let her be. Yeah. She's nailing it in one take.

Because she's cut barely apart of character in this movie. That's true. He's like, you're heavy lifting in different ways. She's got to just be annoyed with you. And look great. And then be less annoyed with you as the movie goes on. I watched a movie last night called Velvet Goldmine and Tony Collette's in it. And she had some pretty amazing hairdoes.

I don't know if it was a wig or not. But it's like... Oh, wigs don't count. No, wigs totally count. I think there's more wigs than you know in movies. Yeah, that's almost definitely. If Velvet Goldmine about like the glam rock scene... Yeah.

Who's at my door? Ooh. It's Carrie Russell. Yeah, I remember watching Velvet Goldmine and loving it as a teenager. I remember being like, whoa, this is a real movie. The, um, apparently like, it was originally set up. Dave, like, literally like a cartoon, like the seat just kept swirling. Yeah.

And it bonged the microphone. We watched it last night and read about it that it was originally they were going to do it with Bowie and his music. And he didn't want to do it because he wanted to do his own project of it. And then that never happened. Wow. That was the chance to make that movie. And then- That was the right time, too.

And Ewan McGregor was the stand-in for Iggy Pop. Wow. Yeah. And I'm sure Iggy Pop would have been into it if Bowie was into it. Yeah. It was still really good, but can you imagine? Wow, that would have been a very different movie. Very, yeah.

We were saying that when you left, your chair was still spinning. Yeah. It was a mailman. You needed a signature. I put on the air conditioning. I'm very hot in here. That's because you're doing your Springsteen 3 hours. It's because it's January.

It's the hottest time of year. Do you remember that song, it's getting hot in here? Yes. By Nelly? Yeah. Yeah. And so when I was in high school, that was a popular song. I was in high school for that, too.

And this guy had a few people over, including some girls in high school. And he put on the song, it's getting hot in here. And then he turned the thermostat up to as high as he possibly could to try to get everyone to take their clothes off. But then he was trying to initiate it. He was like, man, it's getting really hot in here. And he, like, took off his Hawaiian button up that was, like, on top of a t-shirt, which was the style at the time. Yeah. And he had his hair dyed, like an ink pen that exploded.

I was also very popular. Oh. It didn't work. Like, like, black. Like bluey, really dark blue, but it was, like, ink blue. Yeah, I remember that. It looked pretty rough. So did anyone get naked?

No, everyone was just really uncomfortable. Yeah. Because it was so hot. Physically because it was so hot, yeah. When I was a teenager, we went over to a friend's dad's house. He was like newly divorced, so the friend was allowed to do whatever the fuck he won. So he had a night we got together and we tried to play. Like it was co-ed strip poker.

Cut to an hour into it. All the guys are naked. Girls, not a stitch of clothes removed. The girl suddenly got really good of poker. I'm like overplaying my hand every time. So how does it work? You're not betting clothes. You're like, if you lose?

Yeah, if you lose. Then you, if you're the first. And you can't say I'm out. If you say you're out, you have to take something off. Yeah. But we were like, we were sure we were going to dominate that game. Or at least see up something. Some skin.

I remember I had this, boy, it was like a, it was a very old computer thing before the internet even. Like, someone gave me a disc. And it was like strip poker. But it wasn't, it was just a thing where like, if you won enough, you got to see a picture of two people having sex. Wow, you had to work so hard back then. And it was so ugly. Like, the guy was in a T-shirt and no pants on.

Oh, it showed you his stages? No, no, no. It was just the final picture. Wow. I'll take my pants off. but I'm not taking the shirt off. The woman was also like so low res. Like it was a photograph.

It wasn't like asky art or whatever. But they were like the private parts were pixelated, not on purpose. Yeah, everything was pixelated. That's amazing. Wow, that would be a fun game to find. It really would be. I wonder. I have a few like in my general kind of storage.

I know that I have some floppy disk. I have no idea what's on. and I'll never be able to. Yeah. Well, there are places that will take that and, like, digitize it. There's a place on Camby. I don't know how they stay in business. I know.

And they have, like, a little display outside. They'll put their stuff on a table that they'll be like an old mini-d-v tape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, hey, we can turn this into something. Yeah. Yeah, because, like, what's on there, you know? Probably nothing useful. Probably an old resume or something like that.

Yeah. Or, like, a file you can't even open anymore. That's probably true. Yeah. But I don't know. Did they do doc files back then? I guess you could find a way to get in. Yeah.

Yeah. Only to realize that it was a, oh, what if I was keeping a diary for a while and it was all on that disc? Whoa, like a Zanga. Did you guys do Zanga? What is Zanga? Live journal? I've heard of go with Zanga. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I assume now, was the Canadian alternative. Live journal, probably. He was the Russian guy from Street Fighter. too. But it was like, when I was in high school, which was in the 2000s, you could, you would like write a journal online and then you follow your friends and you can read each other's journal. But like you would choose something.

You could be so annoying and vaguely talk about things in your life. Like, oh, yeah. Or like, these are the beautiful things I find it. life. I wish I could find it, but I don't... Tell me about the beautiful things you found in life back then. Anime, I think. Oh, yeah, anime, yeah, very pretty pretty.

And anime fan fiction. Yeah. And improv. I think that was it. And I was working at Dairy Queen, probably something about that. That's classic. DQ Queens or something. That's pretty good.

Yeah. Yeah. I used to, what do it called? It's not Patreon, but substack. Oh. It was like a substack, yeah. But completely mindless. The great thing about substack is people do three entries and you sign up for it and then they never write anything ever again.

And then you look on your credit card state and you're like, what is? Oh. Yeah. What is Elizabethcoad.com? Do you ever go back to Dairy Queen? Yeah. Once in a while I'll go back. I love Dairy Queen.

I love it too. I make the burgers fresh. Oh, I rarely get the hot eats. Oh. Dave's all about the cool treats. The cool treats. And I've been noticing a little. fluctuation in quality.

Oh, really? What do you get? What's your order? I'll get whatever the blizzard. I'll do some kind of blizzard. They do a lot of more seasonal blizzards than they used to. They do, but they also, like, when I worked there, it would be like, brand new blizzard. And it would just be one of the blizzards they've had forever.

But then it would sell a bunch, but it would always say it was a brand new flavor. But it wasn't. It was just one. It was like score. Score. I also like whenever they would do something with a, they would make some kind of Sunday that had a brownie and whipped cream. Oh, yeah.

And the new one they have, whatever they got going on, the brownie is not up to par. That's too bad. That was good. I remember. I was in the one on. Maybe a little crumple up cookie bit. The cookie crumble? Yeah.

Did you get to take home as much as you wanted cookie crumble? I didn't take it home, but I did just ingest a lot of it. Did you make? Were the cakes made on site? Yes, but they were like, you'd get like a flat crub, like a crust thing. And then you'd build it with the ice cream on top and you'd put the cookie crumble inside of it. You had to do all that yourself? And I decorated the cakes.

Sure. I just assumed they were like just trays and then they decorated them at the last. No, you have to make them in the back. Do you, so when you decorated them was this would, because they didn't always have like a, a, you. you know, print out of Pikachu that they could put on top. And that stuff tastes disgusting. They're like the fond d'aut or whatever. It's cheap and like the cheap fond d'a,

but you get this beautiful thing on top. So when you deck, we say decorate, are you drawing characters or are you just writing happy birthday, Ethan? So it was, there would be a projector above us. And then we would project the design on top of. Oh, and then you would do it. And then we would do it. And then we would be icing, but it's kind of like a goo.

It was like icing, um, like a gel, like a jelly kind of thing. And then we would. We would do the outline and then fill it with it and then do the happy birthday, so and so. Or sometimes people would want something mean as a joke to a friend. And you do it? Oh, yeah. Was there anything like teenagers? And the teenagers were the supervisors.

I love that. We just did any. One time my supervisor came in so drunk in the morning, she's like, Christine, I need you to punch me in the stomach as hard as you came out. I was like, I do the fight club. And I was like, I can't do it. I can't do it. And she's like, please. And she's like, fine.

She took one of the plastic trays. She flipped it upside down. Put it on the tile floor in the back and it's left on it like a pillow. I remember being like, you brought a jacket. Yeah. Use the jacket. Like you just go home. Yeah.

But then she got paid. We could handle it in the front. Um, that's so cool. I don't know. You were saying happy birthday so and so. Yeah. They just released the list of the most popular baby names. Oh, shit.

Do you remember? What sits atop? I think this year, Noah, this is in British Columbia. I think Noah has displaced Liam as the number one name. Oh, yeah. We loved you so. One time I was in a dairy queen and the employee, as soon as it turned 9 o'clock, turned off the lights is dead.

This place is closed. We would get these people. Oh my gosh. This was so annoying to me. We would get people who were like obviously on a date and having a romantic moment where they're like, oh, we're here after the clothes and they're cleaning up around us. And like, but we're so into it. It was just like we're having this romantic time.

But it's like, get out. Yeah. I understand that you think it's romantic that you're staying late, hanging out with each other. But we all want to go home and we can't go home until you leave. Yeah. But that's what I like this guy. initiative where it's like, I love that.

Like, this night is over. Get out. Yeah. I love he turned off the lights. Yeah. That's great. Top boy names. Oh, okay.

It's Noah has reclaimed it. That's what I said. But it was Oliver that used to be number one. Oliver. Then Theodore. Oh, that's interesting. And then Alvin and Simon. Oh, Alvin.

No, I mean, those are the chipmunks. I love the name of them. I mean, the band should have been called Dave in the chipmunks because Alvin is a chipmunk, but also everybody. The tentative, what are they signed in the theater, are also chipmunks? It wasn't like Beyonce and the Destiny's Child. Yeah. No.

Yeah. Just be called the chickmunks. Well, yeah. It's weird when someone is in the band and then they get their name put on the front. Like, was Diana Ross and the Supremes? Were they just the Supreme? Was she a Supreme or is she separate? Yeah.

Or was like Tom Petty? Was he in the Heartbreakers or the Heartbreakers is just a... Maybe because their lead vocalists, they get like special billing. Yeah. I bet it comes up. Great hair, Beyonce, as well. Holy. Yeah.

Never. Yeah. I forgot we were going back to that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing hair. Got no matter the length.

out of Beat's face because she couldn't be there. Oh, my God. I love that. So this has the number one, this article I found has the top baby names for every, like every 10 years. Okay. So 19, this was 2025 was the ones we just said. Yeah. But like in 1945.

Oh. Or 1925. Was it Adolf? 1925 John, William, Robert, James, George. Classic. You don't mean a lot of George. George, a young George. Yeah.

I don't know. Baby George. Prince George is a baby. He's a baby. Well, he's probably 10 now. When you were in school, what was the most, like, common name? I think Dave was probably the- Dave.

I think Alex, lots of Alex. Really? Danielle or... Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. And then... For me, it was Giuseppe.

It was... It was the name of your high school? Something in North Bernaby? It was Giacomo. In my kids' classes, there are Ethan's. Oh, oh. There's Ethan M, Ethan G, Ethan Q, Ethan B. There's really four?

Wow. Wow. Ethan. Why Ethan? Kind of a... Doesn't seem like a name you'd pass down either. Although maybe. A lot of people had Chad when I was a kid.

There were a lot of Chad's. Yeah. At least three Chads. Chad. I guess it depends on the right person, maybe. It could work. Yeah. Right, Chad?

I think you're born a Chad. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Right. Chad Khan. He was really like a diet in the world, Chad. Chad Khan?

Yeah. Yeah. K-O-N. He was a guy in high school. Oh. And he was really, yeah. He wore the name. Yeah.

Did you go to ChadCon this year? You know what? I was out of town when it was happening, but I brought a picture of Beatta's face with me. Oh, what kind of booths did they have in Chadcom? They had Street Fighter 2. Yeah. Yeah. You know, drinking Curacao or something like that.

What? Like some kind of fruity alcohol. Like Alize. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. Like how I say. Because I believe we partied and we all had fruity drinks together. You at ChadCon? I mean, a ChadCon.

Yeah. Were you friends with ChadCon? Oh, yeah, it was good buddies with ChadCon. Chadcon, if you're out there, give us a ring. And I think, like, yeah, it was just like sometimes a person is exactly the right name for the person. Yeah, totally. Like, you're like, this couldn't be any other name. It's weird, though, because, like, sometimes.

I guess you're a Christine, but there's a million Christines. Yeah. There's only like five or six chads. That's true. There's only five or six chads. I got to know one of them. I'm lucky that way. What if you, if you cut your hair, if you cut your hair, you would not be a Christine.

Yeah. Got to never cut it then. Christine's have long hair. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good call. Although I have a friend. No, Christina. Christina's different.

Yeah, Christina is different. Yeah, Christina is more popular. Is it? I think. Yeah. It's easier to say. What about, uh, Boy, yeah, there's a bunch.

And there's so many different spellings. Yeah. Don't even get into, like, Kristen. Kristen. Oh, I'm not a Kristen. I'm not a Chris. No, you're not a Chris either. I wish I had a nickname.

What, well, you know what? We're here now. We've got a quick brainstorm. My mom had a friend, has a friend who's Christine, and she goes by Teenie. I used to go by that as a kid. Yeah? Yeah, teeny bordolini. Well, of course.

What about you guys? I mean, I guess your names are kind of, you can do one syllable anyway. I guess I could. Yeah. Well, what's one syllable of Graham? Yeah, Graham, I guess. It is one syllable. Yeah.

Like, people, it's not a... The way I pronounce is Graham. Yeah. Great. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I do have you in my phone as G-R-A-M. A lot of people do.

Grave. I know a lot of people's phones, and that's the way they spell. He's like that U-2 album. He comes preloaded in your phone. Who the hell's this? What about you, Dave? Did you ever have a nickname? Dave.

Yeah. It's short for David. Yeah, right. Because you didn't need it, Davey. Everyone in my dorm called me Bueller. Because we had like whiteboards on all of our dorms, our dorm rooms, and I, like, would write movie quotes online. Oh, nice. Oh, that's cool.

And I knew a bunch of Ferris Bieler movie quotes, I guess, early on. That's great. That's great. That's a real nickname. Yeah. I have very little in common with the character. I, uh, there's G. I get G a lot.

Oh, nice. Shorten it to G. I call you Greg sometimes. Greg, he calls me Greg. I've been called G Ram. Oh, yeah. I've been called, um, uh, was the one guy in high school. I told him my name was Ram and he heard the word hash and then he called me hash for three years.

That's pretty cool. That's like a legit nickname. Yeah. Hey, hash. But I'd be like more hash browns than hash drugs. Oh, sure. Like, that's the hash. I remember.

What do you think you're? Yeah, who are you? Yeah, who are you? What name are you? I've tried to think about this. I've tried. But I can't, I don't know. I don't know names.

When we were naming our kids, we had all these, like, rules. Like, oh, the name can't end with an S because then it'll go into the Shumka and it'll be weird. It'll sound weird. And then, like, it couldn't start, it couldn't end in an A because Shumka ends with an A. We didn't want to have like Veronica Shumka. But I was like, actually, that would be really good. Yeah. Yeah.

That is actually sounds really good. It's got a nice pace to it. I think it'd be cool to have a name, like a baseball player name. You know how a lot of baseball players have these cool. Stradbarre. But I can't get away from Bordelin. What do you mean like a cool baseball player name? Well, like, Babe Ruth.

Yeah. Like cool, interesting, like Mike Trout. Yeah, that's a good one. Cool. You know what? I think that it's the last name that's the problem. Bordelin? And I'm not changing that.

Probably. Yeah. What if you get married to Mike Trout? If I get married, then the last name will be Clift, which is way cooler. Oh, okay. I do. I think that if we did get married, it would, I would change my last name. Yeah? Yeah, because it's way shorter, too. It's so annoying doing the whole name. Christine Clift.

Yeah. Chris Clift. Whoa, Sisi. Yeah, you see C-Chi. Oh, wow. Okay, do that. Teeny Cliftilini. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Well, I got YouTube. Yeah. Oh, I was like you got a premium?

Oh, I wish. Yeah. Here's what's going on with me. So it is, okay. We went away for Christmas. We went to Abby's parents' place on the island. Yeah. Do you remember a couple months ago I told this story, a super boring story about losing my wallet?

Refresh. I couldn't find my wallet. And then I went and I took my paper. pants in to get hemmed. Right. And then I had to pay for them. I was like, where did I put my wallet? And I spent the whole day trying to figure it out.

And it turns out I had left them in my pants that it was getting hemmed. Oh, yeah. That's right. Well, so we went away for Christmas. It came back. And I just know that the day we got back, I went to the grocery store, I bought a bunch of groceries, came home, haven't seen my wallet since. Oh, shit.

Whoa. So you had it at the grocery store. I paid with my wallet at the grocery store. I have since, it's been a week. It's been eight days now. Yeah. I have Apple Pay on my phone. Yeah.

I can check my accounts online. No one has, like, is tapping my car around town. Right. I have called the Safeway. Yeah. I've gone through my car. I've gone through, like, did I, like, I've looked through my yard. I've looked through.

Wow. Every place I could mindlessly throw my wallet, like a window sill or whatever. We have... All your coats. All my coats. I have like a video out. Like we have a camera in the yard. So I know what clothes I was wearing when I bought the groceries.

How did you come back in the home? The home was unlocked. And also I don't need my wallet to get in the home. But I mean, if you were like holding the groceries, maybe you fell as you were walking in. Yeah, that's tough. It's tough. And it's, but it's like, not so tough. Yeah.

Because I, I can pay for things on my phone. Yeah. So what I'm missing is $20. Yep. I want that $20 back. Credit card, debit card, driver's license. Drivers license is the, more annoying. Yeah.

And then the, like my compass card for transit. And I think my BCAA membership. That one's going to be tough. It is. Yeah. That one hurts. I got my shoppers, you know, points card. Oh, I do that on the app.

All my points are on my phone. Everything's on the phone. Yeah. So I, uh, I was like trying to just see how long I could go without replacing anything, without giving up that. Because it's, where could it be? I've called the Safeway and they're like, screw you. Oh, I hope you find it. I mean, now I've given up.

And now I have like, I canceled all the cards. I haven't canceled any cards. So people can still use the cards? People could use my cards if they found them. Have you looked? Has anyone used it? Yeah, yeah. I keep looking every day.

Oh, it's got to be in here then. I know. Yeah. Because if someone found my card on the street, they could like, like, you could tap. Tap, yeah. Yeah. Get a can of Coke. Yeah.

And so I have now, I haven't given up completely, but I have made an appointment to get a new driver's license. That's good. Yeah. It's, luckily, they don't, they don't make you retest, right? That would be, oh my gosh, that's punishment? They don't, but I do think it would be, I think I'd be really good. Yeah? Yeah.

I don't think I would be very good if I got retested. Because I remember when I took my driving lessons. Yeah. Like, I felt like I was really good because I, you, like, like, you, like, I don't know. Like, I would talk to my parents, and my parents are good drivers, but I would tell them things they didn't know about. Oh, sure. Because you, you know, you take the classes and there's so much whatever they teach is different than whatever they learned in the 60s. Like, try not to be drunk.

Yeah. But like, so this is a seatbelt, you know. It's contentious. Yeah. I think the only reason I honestly that I passed through it was my instructor liked smoking. so we would drive a little bit and then hang out and smoke for 20 minutes and then drive a little. So she was just kind of like, she didn't care about her life. Like, driving instructor, smoke, or she's probably been drinking.

The instructor or the, like. My lessons were with this. Yeah, okay. But then you passed your. I did my, on my second time. Oh, really? Okay. Oh, nice.

A guy in my class, we had the same driving instructor, like the same, because you, You do like classroom portion. Portion. And then, but he was in, he was in my school with me. Like, whatever, math, history. Yeah. That kind of stuff. And then we had individual lessons with the same guy.

Okay. And then when we went to take our test, we had the same adjudicator. And we both got the same score. Like, we've got seven out of 45 demerits. Like, he's your driving twin. Whoa. He was my driving twin. And we got it for the same thing.

Like, we both hesitated at the same left turn. Oh, shit. Wow. Are you a driver? I never drive. I did get my license to prove to myself that I could. Yeah, as an adult. Yeah.

Okay. I bet I talked about getting it on this podcast at one point. We're not listeners. Long ago. It was like, I don't know, probably like eight years ago or something, I got it. Yeah. Because I wanted to prove that I could. And I just paid for lessons the whole time.

And then I did the test. I got it on the first time. And then I never drove again. Wow. Or I drove like maybe once because I have OCD. And so it's just very exhausting to have to like have to get like handle a lot of intrusive thoughts when I'm driving. So I just don't really like to do it. But I do want to be able to drive again.

I'm moving to New West. So I need to be able to drive again just in case. Where do you live now? I live in East Van. You lived in New West before. Yes, I did for a brief time. But we lived way far out, which was a big, bad idea. Okay.

But now we live right next to the station. So coming downtown is going to be like 25 minutes. Nice. Yeah. It's not bad at all. Yeah. But I still need to learn to drive just in case. Yeah.

There's a hospital around there. But I could take the train there. But still. Oh, my God. These intrusive thoughts are going to. Well, I got to learn because of the hospital. It's like you can't escape them. But I do think if I took the test now, I'd do great.

Yeah. I don't think. I'm going to get upgraded. Because I am like a conscientious driver, but I also don't have that sort of nervousness anymore. That's my problem. I think I'm too worried about hurting other people, so that makes me a bad driver. Oh, right. But I'm retroactively going to be given from an N a regular license.

Right. This year, I think. They're changing it. Oh, they're changing the upgraded system. Yeah. So I'll have a full license, which is great. Yeah. Oh, you didn't have a full license before.

I got an N. Oh, okay. That was a upgraded system. after my time. Oh. I went from learners, whatever, six months to full license. I think that's fine. I don't think You would just get in ours is learners full license. Yeah. Yeah. I think that makes sense. And it was so cool. You could go anywhere. Yeah. But I, yeah, I feel like I was when I was a young driver, I was very like, if someone honked at me, I would get all like, like, fly. And now I'm like, don't worry about that. Yeah.

Yeah. You got your horn. I got mine. I'm cranking my horn in my. Yeah. When I took lessons in Calgary, like there wasn't a big emphasis on like parallel parking or anything like because there wasn't a ton of it in Calgary. Like there was always a lot for everything. And you wouldn't park on the street unless you were downtown.

But I wouldn't go downtown. I would just go down on the train. Like, well, I would just park on a train. train station, then go downtown. So. And what high school did you go to? Went to Lord Beaverbrook. Okay.

Bang or Brooke, they call it. Whoa. Sick. It was pretty sick. Oh, yeah. Does your high school have a nickname? Mine didn't. Burnaby Mountain.

BMSS. BMS. The Mount. BMS. That's good. I went to Kitts Atlanta. They called it Kits. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Good. Shortened name. Solid. I've had the opposite of what you've had where I did have my wallet. I lost my phone and I was going to the Yukon and I didn't have. So it was just like every action. I was like, okay, I need to get my boarding pass printed out.

And I have to have my license and like when I get there, I've got to have to. And you had a laptop. Yeah, I had a laptop. Maybe I could just hold my laptop up. You went no phone? No phone. How long were you there for? You raw dog did?

I really did. Whoa. I was there for two days and lay out of nights. Figure that out. But yeah, it's like, instantly your life has changed. Wow. You can't look at a map. You can't look.

There's no Reddit. There's no YouTube. Just you're on your, you've got a whistle, I guess. You know, get past the time. That's how you got so good at it. Yeah. You do have a strong whistle. Thank you.

And it's friendly. Yeah. I was going to try to whistle now, but I'm too smiling. I can't whistle with these. Yeah, think of something sad. Yeah, okay. Think about Christine hitting somebody with a car. Oh, that's good.

That's nice. How long do you think you could go without a wallet? Without a wallet? I mean, I'd have the thing on my phone. Yeah, that's it. It's the license. Oh, and I guess the compass card. But the license.

I got to tell you about the compass card thing. Go on. You can get it on the keychain now. Oh, yes. Yeah. I remember people lining up for it when I first came around. So the compass card for people not from here, it's the, the like whatever, your metro card.

The bus pass, sky train pass. Reloatable. And you, they would release these special editions of it. Like, oh, this one's shaped like, I don't know, the Millennium Falcon. What? Yeah, I don't know. The people would line up around the block. I know.

And it would be the, but they would make a limited amount of them. Just make plenty. They call the amount. Yeah. Make the money. Yeah. But do you have one, keychain one? I have a keychain one.

My partner got me one for Christmas. Nice. amazing. I got one for Aaron and for some family members too. All of my bus forward. Family. People are giving bus. Yes? Yeah.

It's amazing. They put their whole bussy into it. I forget my keys a lot. So the fact that I need to have the key for the bus pass. Abby is frustrated with me because I

do lose things a lot. I never used to. I was never, like, as a kid, I was never late for school. I never lost any, like, I always had stuff on me, whatever I needed. But I, as an adult, I think I'm also losing my mind. I feel like I'm losing my mind as well. I think that's normal. Yeah, it's all of a sudden you're like, I can't remember a thing.

I've been thinking about that recently, like, when am I going to check myself into an old folks. Like, eventually, if I get old enough, you know, but like, when do you make that call where it's like, like, I'm losing my mind and like, boy, if I didn't have kids, I could just die and it would be fine. It's true. I could just fade away to me either, and no one would care. I have insomnia. Yeah, me too. Okay, so when I was like.

You know what helps with that? What? Intrusive thoughts. I, so when I was like 18 or 19, I had two years where it was really rough and my brain's never been the same. And at that time, I was like, oh, I guess I just have to learn to accept that I'm forgetful. And I have to like, I built all of these like, I'm really good at putting things in the same spot or setting a ton of like reminders and calendar things on the phone because I know I can't trust my I did that a lot.

Yeah. But it's like, I think it's like building me up to make the transition into completely losing my mind at one point. Yeah. Good. But I'm trying not to have dementia or Alzheimer's, but I don't know how to get there. No, me neither. They, you know, crosswords.

Yeah. Yeah. I chew my nails and I'm trying not to now because I found out that that's supposed to give you Alzheimer's or something. Come on. Everything gives you it, I guess. Yeah. Full of plastic.

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Your brain has like a bottle cap worth of plastic in it. In the shape of the Millennium Vulcan for now. So I've been trying to stop sucking on bottle caps. But the shape. So satisfied. Anyway, I'm without wallet.

Oh, man. I think you'll find it after you've. Exactly. Yeah. Got a new license. For me, the thing is like, if I want a new credit card. do I have to then like, if I call the bank and say, hey, give me a new credit card, they'll be like, okay, well, cancer your old one. And I'll be like, no, no, no, no, not yet.

I just had to go through this. And I called them and told them that the, I wanted, I still wanted my card to be valid. I just needed a new one sent because it was like, um, it was less magnetized. Yeah. It was just stank. I'm going to trade this in. Don't ask too many questions. I'm just going to put in this plastic bag.

You're taking them? And they were cool with it, so I bet you could do that. Because, yeah, on the phone, it's so easy. You have a watch that you use as well. Not an Apple watch. Yeah. I have a watch that I used to all time. I just went analog with my watch again.

Hey, two analog watches. Yeah, but I keep tapping it because I used to have an Apple watch. Yeah. Kind of like what I was talking about before, where you like swipe on book pages and stuff, like words. Having a watch to look down on for time seems elegant to me. I love it. You know, it's better than. pulling out a phone or looking around hoping there's a clock somewhere.

Yeah, I was reading a paper book and I, is that what you call it a paper book? Sure. And I kept, a few times I did, but what does this word mean? And I'd press on it and it wouldn't come up. I do. And do you swipe sometimes without thinking to get to the next page? No. Okay, that's fair.

That's just me. Swiping does kind of get you to the next page with a paper book anyway. I just don't have the physical power behind it. I sometimes need to lick my finger. Yeah. Yeah. That's elegant. What? Licking your finger to move a page? Yeah. Licking your finger on. Swipe your phone.

Might as well. You're going to give yourself Alzheimer's, man. It's not just biting your nails. It's any finger in the mouth. Some bacteria in your fingers or something? I don't know. If you're eating chicken wings with your hands. Yeah. Oh, God. Cool, which I love. When's the last time you had chicken wings in a restaurant or bar?

20 years ago? Oh, no. Yeah, a couple months ago. Yeah? Oh, I love it. Yeah? I've had, I think it's been a couple years now. Oh, and I make them at home, too.

Oh, yeah. I got to get into that cooking at home. Real meals. Yeah. Yeah, it sucks if you were bad at it, which I am. What you have to do is marry somebody who's good at it. I know. That's tough, though.

Yeah. I'm trying to, like, get into, like, non-online hobbies, and one of them is cooking, like, real meals at home instead of just, like, you know, just like some sort of a meat and then some sort of a vegetable or 14 dumplings. Yeah. Some sort of a meat and some sort of vegetable is pretty good, though. It's good, but it's not like you look at it. You're like, okay, it's pretty simple. It's not exciting in any way, whereas if I'm making, like, an Irish stew or something. I was just going to say, Shepard's.

Yeah, yeah. There's something satisfying about, like, layering flavors. Like, I guess that's cuisine. That's cuisine. Yeah. Yeah. It's not just feeding yourself. And you've got to make something the start of the dish as is what I've learned from watching the food network. Pick something. May I get the start of the dish. I don't do that. No? No, I cook a lot. And, but no, nothing's ever the start of the dish.

Do you ever, like, plate really? Like, I don't eat fancy way? Oh, that's fair. Yeah, but it seems fun. Yeah. Yeah. I've been barbecuing a lot. All like, I haven't stopped since the summer. That's great.

My kids will eat. My kids' favorite foods are all like steak and the chicken I cook on a beer can. Whoa. What do you mean you cook a chicken and a beer can? Well, I don't use the beer can anymore. Listeners, no, I don't. We've talked about this. Oh, okay, okay.

But it's like you take a beer can, you drink a little bit out of it and then you put it in the chicken hole. Stand up the chicken on the barbecue. Whoa, like a whole chicken? Yeah, and then it releases beer vapor into the chicken as you. Whoa. That's how I also get drunk. Let's eat up a can of beer. We kind of did something similar in high school, tampons.

I get it. But, yeah, anyway, I love food. Whoa, that's cool. Food is the tops. Yeah. Graham, what's going on with you? Yeah. Well, here's the thing.

I've got the subscriptions up the wazoo. Like for everything, I've got shutter. I've got Criterion. I've got Netflix. I've got Amazon. I've got Crave. And it's like, so it was Christmas time. And I'm like, you know what I would like to watch?

Scrooged. Right? Fun movie from the 80s, 90s, I guess. A little love in your heart. Yeah. I was like, this would be fun. I haven't seen it for years and years. Couldn't find it anywhere.

Didn't matter what streaming. service you went on, could not find it anywhere. It was, you could get it if you had something paramount or stars or something weird thing like that. And so like, I was, I was like, I got to get back to physical media. And you were visited by three ghosts. Yep. Yeah, and who are they playing by? Blockbuster, Rogers video.

Well, those are Christmas past. But it gave me a craving for the, like, the physical media, going to a place that has it, renting it, and then taking home and watching it, don't have a DVD player, don't have one that works. Right. Cut to Christmas. I'm at Sally's parents' place on the island.

And her mom got me a Blu-ray player. Whoa. She wasn't even around for this thought. She just, like, I didn't call her and say, here's what I'm thinking. I want to get back into physical media. Did you mention it to Sally? Yes.

Do you think maybe Sally told her? No. Oh, wow. They're not that close. Yes, of course you did. But it wasn't on my mind at all. It was a great gift. And so now one of the things that came with it was a brand new Blu-ray Pee's Big Adventure with the notes written by Maximum Funds Jesse Thorne.

Oh. Yeah. Wow. And it was great. Like it's just like there's extra things. You can watch commentaries. They've got scenes that are cut out. You can't do that on a screen.

That's true. Yeah. Oh, can you do it on like if you get, if you buy a movie through the Apple thing, like you get like a little. When you buy the movie, you still get like a home screen. Right. Oh, really? Maybe it has features. I don't know.

Yeah. I just know that they have them on Blu-ray. And so it's become, it's become a real battle every night. I'm going to watch a DVD. I'm going to watch a streaming service. And like, who's going to win out? No one knows. Do you, have you, are you buying DVDs or you're renting DVDs?

Even better, getting them from free at the library. Oh, brilliant. Because when, you remember Limelight Video and Videomatica? Yeah. When they closed, they donated it to the library at UBC. So they've got this giant, giant catalog of all sorts of TV. Yeah. Well, I know what else they were going to do with it.

Yeah, I guess so. I don't know, throw them away. I guess they just have to pay for the dump. Yeah. So that's nice. Oh, that's so smart. I feel like that is a good,

I know it's not offline, but it's kind of an offline activity, you know? It's like something like... It's offline. Yeah, it's offline. It's, and so do you have like a list of...

Have you seen Pluribus? No. But I will if it ever comes out on TV. I got a long-term plan. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Remember, like, box sets of TV shows? Yes.

Whoa. Which box sets did you guys have that you remember? Ooh. I had Deadwood. Oh, great. Not the Sopranos, but... I had, like, uh, news radio for some reason. That's one we got from the library,

because you can't find news radio anywhere. Really? Yeah. So we rented it. It's as... Phil Hartman is one of the funniest humans who's ever flipped. Every scene he's in is hilarious. Yeah.

The show holds up. Yeah. It's like something... Sally and I've been wanting to watch for years. my gosh. I had like, you know, like Mr.

Show and all the, a lot of the like sketch comedy things that weren't even on TV here. So you had to get the DVDs.

Yeah. Yeah. And like, um, it like a season of the Simpsons or a season of, you know, oh yeah.

Like a gift. Yeah. This was like when the golden age of television. What do they call it? The like prestige TV. Yeah. And coincided with like

everyone getting DVD players. It was like, well, I gotta get the fricking wire. Yeah. And like, now you can watch it whenever you want. Yeah.

Yeah. Can borrow season two a curb. But I may go back to being like a regular at the video store. That's cool. Just hanging out, getting suggestions from the video. Well, I used to work there. I know how it all works. In fact, if they wanted to take a break, I'll amend the store for you guys.

That's cool. Yeah. Yeah. And so working through... Are you... Have you canceled any of your subscriptions? Still got the subscriptions, but it's like... I feel like there's waning interest in certain ones of them. I feel like Netflix is one that's bad, but then they'll come out with something really good.

Yeah. And then... But the rest of it is like... Do what I do. Just get it for one month. Once the whole thing's out and then just slam it. Watch every comedy special you can. Over the month.

And then they know, oh, we made this money because... because of these specific things he wanted to watch. But remember when Netflix was like $3 or something? Yeah. That was just like nobody had it and it was weird. It's like $20 now or 25 months? That's wild. But you know,

we got all those seasons of Stranger Things. Yep. Yeah, I don't really. Yeah, I, if I didn't have a wife and kids, I would just like individually, it would make so much more sense to just individually rent a movie. Even just like, not even the physical copy, but just be like, tonight. Instead of having.

Yeah. Because I do that half the time anyway. I'm like, I have all these streaming services and I'm like, well, none of you have road to perdition. There's on the Criterion Collection, they have like little themes. And one of them was movies with Julianne Moore in them. And we watched one of the, it was a Madonna movie called Body of Evidence. Yeah. It's so horny.

It's like one of the horny with Willem Defoe. She's in two scenes. Julianne Morris? She's not quite famous yet. No, and it's just like there was nothing for her to do. Did you, that was, did you watch that with Sally? Yeah. Do you guys pour hot wax on each other afterwards?

When she picked up the kettle, they're like, oh, this is it. This is the scene. What do they pour hot wax on each other? Yeah. Madonna pours hot wax on Willemofo's body. Where, wow. Well, it's hot? Yeah.

Whoa. Oh, as like a sex thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, everything in the movie is a sex thing. It was right after like basic instinct came out. It was very a time of erotic thrillers. Oh, 90s erotic thrillers are very cool. Yeah.

There was a lot of thrillers in the 90s generally. It was a thrilling decade to be erotic. And there was something in the 90s that happened in this movie that I know has happened in other movies where one of the characters live on houseboat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that was. It's nine and a half weeks, I think he does as well. Yeah, but Donna's living in a houseboat.

And certainly, I believe it's not an erotic thriller, but sleepless in Seattle, I think it was on a houseboat. Wow, there's a lot of, was that like a thing at the time where it was like if you were like, sort of like Sigma, like a lone wolf. From a Chad. Yeah. Yeah, I think it was just to get out of there whenever you want. To make a character interesting. Yeah. Let's say he lives on a houseboat.

Yeah. I dreamed of that for a while. I thought that would be so cool. But then where do you, like, do you have to shower in the cold in cold water or something? Just jump in the ocean. Salt yourself, clear. Now I think they would make the character, hashtag van life. Yes.

Oh, yeah. Oh, tiny home movement. Yeah. You'd have to have small candles if you were going to, you'd have to have like IKEA tea lights if you're going to put it, wear wax on each other in a van. Damn, too much space, those big candles. I do like when I see on my phone, you know, when social media serves me a person who's like, my life living in New York, in an RV. And it'll be like, well, we wake up here, we go shower at the Y, we take our dog for a walk, everyone's miserable.

We had a fight last night. He sat in the front of the van. He slept in the seat and I slept in the back. No, but like in the video, they'll try to make it seem like, hey, this is really cool. And all the comments are like, Just, this is the saddest thing I've ever seen. Is it? But also, like, if you're, where does the power come from?

Don't you have to pay for? Well, first you get the women. Oh, I should be a woman. And you get, yeah. No, I don't know. It's, though. Yeah. It's like.

It sounds like, I know that they show the highlights, but it does sound hideous. Yeah. Like, I mean, for vacation, it would be cool. Yeah. I think if you were in like a trailer. Yeah. Trailer would be nice. Yeah.

But like a van is so tiny. You have to be camping. And you have to like put everything away as soon as you're done using it because you can't have like two drawers. And because the raccoons get in. Oh yeah. And then you're on. The otters next door. But you can bathe in their pool.

Yeah. I would, I guess I would pick that. I would pick RV over screaming otters. Yeah, definitely. But yeah, like, I don't know. I get it. They're like good-looking people who do it in these accounts. Yeah, they are good-looking.

But like, you know what? Take a van-to-van pull and see how good-looking people are in their fans. I bet you there's not a lot of those fresh-faced, you know, 22-year-olds. But it's also like, well, we ran out of options and now we live in a van. Yeah. Like, that's what they're not telling me. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, like, well, so would it be boring? Like, you don't know. No, you think it'd be. Because you're worried. Yeah, you're scared for your life every night. That is true. What was that? Oh, probably the murderer on the loose.

The Van Life Killer. Whoa, that would be a great episode of like law and order criminal intent or something. Now, speaking of. Literally intent. Yeah. While I was staying at Sally's parents, they have a trailer. I slept in the trailer. Whoa.

And at one night, there was sounds. Do they have a dog house too? Yeah. The dog was in the trailer. The dog bullied me out. But I heard noises. And in my head, my first thought was like, I don't want to get out of bed. Like, if somebody's going to kill me, I'm just, I'm not going to put me.

My bed. Yeah. Doors unlocked. Come and get it. Did you, was Sally out there too? Yeah. Oh, okay.

But, yeah, she didn't like, you didn't get in a fight and she was like, go sleep in the trailer. You're in the trailer now, Mr. But it was nice. I like, I could,

I could see spending like a few weeks in a trailer and kind of thinking it was fun. I think it was your permanent address. It's like nice weather in the summer, year-round woodsy stuff. But not of this. super hot summer. No, exactly.

Yeah, right. There's like a real shoulder season there that you do. Those like airstream trailers that are That's what it is. Airstream trailer. Those seem like an oven. Well, I've only been in the winter.

So. Oh, oven in the winter's nice. Yeah. Yeah, it was great. It was nice and warm. But it's like, really out there, man. I was out in this, like in the field

where you could put a trailer. And yeah, when I heard a noise, I was like, I'm not going to go to investigate. What kind of wildlife is there? Deer? Lots of deer. I don't think there's any wolves.

There are definitely... The deer probably killed them all up. I would love that if that was the ecosystem. Deer's on top. Then wolves. What about like coyotes? What about cougars? I haven't seen one, but I don't know if there are.

Like, they'd have to... Because, like, some of those animals can swim from island to island. Oh, right. But... Yeah, Gabrielola has plenty of raccoons, deer otters. Really? Uh-huh. Awesome.

And, but the... Yeah, so you, like... But no, apparently, like, a mountain lion can swim over. Yeah. But... Which is terrifying. nightmare for those deer. Yeah, we finally made it, guys.

We kicked out all of the coyotes. Here comes a cougar. It's built up an appetite. Yeah. I'm so hungry after swimming. So yeah, I'm going back to the physical media. Cool. Maybe living in a trailer.

Maybe living in a trailer. We'll see. Time will tell. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard? Sure. Yeah. Say, what's the trivia show where dreams come true? It's got to be, go fact yourself.

Legend in the house. We quiz celebrity contestants about topics they love. Then bring out surprise experts. To delight and amaze. And then finally tell us why you know and love the lyrics to the song, Knocking Boots by Candyman. Joining us tonight is a rapper and producer. It's Candyman.

This is among the greatest moments of my life. That's go fact to yourself. Twice a month, every month. Here on Maximum Fun. Since 2017, after every Max Fund drive, we've held a sale for Max Fund members where all of the proceeds go to a nonprofit. In December, we donated $43,000 to Transgender Law Center.

$43,000. Thank you to all the Max Fund members. who made this possible. Transgender Law Center champions the right of all transgender and gender non-conforming people to live freely, safely, and authentically. A mission that everyone at Max Fund supports. If you'd like to learn more or make an additional donation, go to Transgenderlawcenter.org. And for anyone who needs to hear this, you belong here.

You deserve to be able to be yourself, and we love you. Overheard. Overheard. where you hear it, let's hear it for ourselves, and we'll judge on how good it is. We always like to start with the guest. Christine, do you haven't overheard? Yes, I do.

Okay, I'm trying to decide which one. Okay. You got more than one? Yeah, but I feel like it's not quality. It would be quantity. They're not amazing. Oh, I shouldn't say that. Whatever.

Okay. So one of them is about a comic, so maybe I won't say it. So, okay, but I'll tell you guys after. Um, okay, so I was on the bus and there is... Do you use your new little key card? Uh, yes, I do. You can get them at waterfront, Skytrain station.

Can you? Yeah, you just have to go into the office. I'm going. Dude, it's amazing. The driver always sends me to the office because I'm such a bad kid. Yeah, you're a bad kid. Go talk to the principal. We're going to make an example of Dave.

Okay, so I was on the bus and, uh, these two teenagers came on the bus, and they were sitting in front of me. and there was a girl and a boy, and the girl was like, I don't like Jim Carrey. I just hate him. You know I don't like Jim Carrey. I hate him so much.

I don't like him. And then the guy was like, okay. And then a woman who was sitting across from them moved, like an older woman leaned over and was like, I don't like him either. And then she's like, I hate him. It just, I hate him. And in my head, I was like,

I can't believe these teenagers know who you're curious. Yeah. Oh, he's in the Sonic movies. Oh, but to hate him? Yeah, I don't, I have a hard time thinking like that would be something as, as like, teenagers our age would be like, I hate Humphrey Bogart. Yeah, exactly. It's like this ancient to you performer. It's like maybe in one thing.

Like, I didn't even have an opinion on this guy. And she was so fervent. And she was so fervent. getting no pushback. She just kept hammering on. And then this woman came over and was like, me too. And then they shared a moment, which I guess is nice. That's kind of nice.

But it was like a moment out of hate. Yeah. It created niceness. When I was, how old would he, like his run of films, 96? 90, like, three, four were like the first couple big ones. And he had like a string of hits, two or three of which were all in the same year. and he was just like he was comedy He was the master comedian

And like you know what I watched a couple scenes of the Acey vanjura sequel Still funny Yeah Still's got some I don't hate him But I was never I liked him on in living color

Yeah But I don't think I really like the movies I was obsessed Yeah I really I was into it I just And then he did the thing where he did the Adam Sandler Where he also did serious stuff and that was like well received.

But now, I don't know what he's up to now, aside from Sonic. He said he was retiring until he saw like a script he really wanted and then he did the next Sonic movie. I guess it really had some for us. There's something about this. Money is so interesting. You say that the Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler did one serious movie maybe. Didn't he also do gems?

Uncut gems. Oh, yeah. Uncut gems. Uncut. And then remember he did something about... I love that. No, he did Punch Drunk Love. Yeah.

And there was one way was him and... Oh, she was a rain over me. Yeah. Oh, I didn't see that one. It was about a survivor of 9-11. I was like, am I getting... Yeah, I think he did, maybe he does one serious per decade. Yeah.

Yeah. For the deep, you know, hardcore fans. Yeah. I think it would be funny if he also made his, like, or got his best friends to be in it. Yeah. Rob Snyder's playing the mayor. in his little hat. Adam Sandler's Angels in America.

Dave, do you have an order? Mine is also two teenagers. Oh. So I, well, yeah, maybe they're, yeah, I'd say teenagers. Last year, Margot's class, they all went up to Mount Seymour. Four Wednesdays in a row, and they took ski up. lessons and snowboard lessons. And so this year for Christmas, I got her a snowboard.

Wow. A pass to Mount Seymour. And I was like, I'll go with her. Yeah. I have a snowboard from 20 years ago. Went to my parents' garage. I don't know. I have a snowboard anymore.

How long were they supposed to hold on? Dave, get back into it any time. It was very, very frustrating. day. The day that I lost my wallet, I also discovered I did not have a cell and I was on the same day. I also broke my toe that day, I'm pretty sure. You broke your toe? Yeah, in a weird way.

Jam it or? Hold it. Like got my pinky caught on something. My whole foot went one way and my pinky went the other way. And it hurt for a minute and then it hurt a lot more an hour later and was all bruised and the whole foot was bruised. Ah, fuck.

So you taped it and it was good. But anyway, bad day. Bad day, man. Wow, yeah. You know what? I won't let it get me down. No. Good for you.

You've got people to live for. That's true. And apparently I have to take them snowboarding on my nine toes. That's such a nice gift. Yeah, it is a nice gift. That's awesome. So we drove up to Mount Seymour and I rented my gear and we snowboarded all day and we were on the ski lift or snowboard lift. Let's be inclusive.

Yeah. The chair lift. And there were so many kids on the mountain yelling six, seven. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And one time we were on a four-person lift, and there were two, like, 13-year-old boys next to us, and they heard someone yelling six-seven. And this 13-year-old said, if I see them, I'm going to fart on their face. And it'll be so radioactive that it'll burn their skin off.

Whoa, that's great. Yeah, that sounds like something out of like the Meatballs movie or something. Yeah. Farts are still like the grosser of the better. Yeah, yeah. Farts are still in. Perennial phase. Yeah.

There does seem to be a like age gap with six, seven. It's like if you're an eight-year-old boy, you love it and everyone else hates it. Yeah. My nephew really nailed a six-seven. I can't remember what. somebody said six and then he filled in right away six seven everybody lost their mind he's just like good timing on that kid um uh my heard please please uh i for like i as an uncle i like to bring a gift to are you a unc i'm kind of an unc yeah um uh and like i like to bring toys that are like instantly fun but don't

have a long life like a wippecution that kind of thing right you know you disposable's Yeah, basically. But, you know, they're like the gifts that the kids play right away and they get rid of them. Or in my house. Keep them forever. Been 20 years later. Hey, can I throw this out? No.

I might need it again. So some of the things I've given when they're really young, silly putty, you get them their first silly buddy. gave them straw glasses where you like drink the water and it goes through the glasses and spendy straw. And this time I brought a balloon animal kit.

Oh. So this comes with all the balloons. Comes with a little pump so you don't have to try and blow them up yourself. Sure. And then different animals you can make on the back.

And the balloons are like, they're very hard so you can't pop them like they're not a thin kind of rubber or whatever. But it's so hard. It's so hard to make any kind of animal. Sally was the first to kind of crack it,

but it was also, it was supposed to be a poodle, but it had a super long neck. So it was not right, but it was an animal. And then I didn't pay attention to it for like a couple hours. And then my nephew,

he came out and he had made this amazing sword. It wasn't even on the box. He just invented a sword with the like handle like a buccaneer kind of sword and I was like wow that's incredible pretty easy it's just like wow

I really got served there do you remember when I had a bunch I was trying to make like a spider costume for I feel like rap battles and I didn't have the pump but I had like black balloons

and we tried to blow them up I think Kyle Canane was with us so hard it hurt our cheeks so much We didn't make any progress. It's, uh, yeah, that pump is like everything in the equation. But, um, oh yeah, I also bought a, uh, one time, like of those things that are a little foamy thing like a shark and then you put it in water for a couple days and it becomes like a giant.

Yeah. Oh, great kid gifts. But that's just like, that's the, that's the, that's my spouse. It's not going to be books. It's not going to be like presents that they, it's just going to be like uncle gifts. And eventually it's just going to be cash, right? Which they'll love. Yeah.

Just slip them a little bit of cash. Well, if cash is still around at that point, maybe I'll tap their cards together with my car. I honestly, yeah, we give our kids allowance and they just give it back to us. So we, and so. Oh, right. Like, I've been giving them back the same $5 bill for a long time. All right, can I go spend this?

All right. And then I'll use my card. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Anyways, if you're an uncle out there and you're stressing about what to buy a nephew or niece, like animal

balloons yeah and it's easy it's easy I mean kids can pick it up almost instantly and now

you know what we also have overheard to send into us from people all over you want to send one in you can send in it to ask me why

at maximum fun dot org and uh just start this out with a quick little boring dream from Sabrina from Vancouver my seven year old

told me she had a dream. This is a seven-year-old's boring dream. Okay. My seven-year-old told me she had a dream where she just found her missing red tennis sock from the summer. Like a pretty classic boring dream. Wow, yeah. Yeah, maybe I'll have a dream about your wallet.

And then it'll... Well, it shed light onto its whereabouts? I don't know. Okay, well, I can only hope that I have a dream about my wallet. Divine it. I think about it. The, like,

the reason because I can still pay for things with my phone, but the reason I want to replace everything is just so I can stop thinking about it. Yes. Like literally checking and rechecking the same pockets over and over. And it's like back in the day, because I've done it once before,

if you found a wallet like on the street, you just threw it in the post office box. Yeah. Or you can, they're like banks have a return hole. Return hole. This next one comes from David C. This is,

a mom with a grocery card, two kids holding on, saying, well, covered in ranch, then we won't even know, right? Ranch does make. Yeah, ranch is a good dip. Yeah, what's your king of dips? I think ranch is probably my favorite. Wow. King of dips. Like, if there's a vegetable platter and they got some ranch.

Yeah, I like blue cheese. Blue cheese is up there. Siziki, I really like. Is it good. Yeah. Homest, sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Babba Ginoosh. These are all great dips. What's my favorite? Yeah, what's your favorite? Probably Suzuki, except it hurts my stomach, but it's worth it. Yeah, I mean, that's me. Sizki, I find ranch is pretty standard.

Like, you can get ranch at, you get ranch at a, uh, a Michelin Star restaurant. It'll be the same. But you hear them doing in the back. But I find that Sizuzee that Sizeky is, there's like a big variety of, Like some are more sour, some are more...

Yeah. Yeah. You got the bits in there. Less sour. If you're, you know, if you're eating like a pizza and they come with a dip, it's a hoist ranch, or pizza sauce. And then you're getting double the sauce. Yeah. Yeah.

Or you, yeah. Garlic sauce is good. Yeah. Yeah. Hot sauce. Is garlic sauce the white stuff? Yeah. White style?

Yeah. Yeah. Good dips out there. Send in your favorite dips. What are we not thinking? Habanero. Yeah. Mustard is kind of a dip sometimes.

Hot sauce. But like I feel like I'm, if I'm getting a chicken wing, it's already in hot sauce and I'm dipping it in blue cheese. Yeah. And if a vegetable, you wouldn't just dip a vegetable in Sabasco.

Oh, we're just talking vegetables? Like, are you talking about like a veggie dip? I'm just in general, general like, veggie dip, absolutely. You know, pizza dip. Pizza dip is very different than a veggie dip, though.

Yeah, idiot. Shit. I don't love, Oh, you know what? I like when they do give you the garlic sauce for pizza. Yeah, just for pizza, though. I wouldn't want it on a celery stick. Yeah, fair enough.

Unless I'm doing like some kind of challenge where I only eat celery and I have to spice it up. Yeah, you got to make it interesting. I'm on an all celery diet. This next one comes from Matt in Brooklyn. I just went to a small event in my neighborhood where the new mayor of New York City was speaking. He was just inaugurated a few. days ago, so many people are there excited to see him, including me. The woman in front of me was texting someone about it. I looked down and I could see the contact name and it was Phil,

hot neighbor. Oh. I would love to know that was the contact. Yeah. Do you have that in your phone where you've got a name and then where you're, where it's from? Yeah, I have a lot of like, work. My friend or my kids' friends parents. Oh, that's smart. Yeah. And then so you put the kid's name. It'll be like Christine, Jessica's mom or whatever. Right. That's smart. I still have Aaron, as Aaron smells with a five for the asses, because that's what

it was when we were in high school and I just haven't changed it. I know some people that are still rocking their old emails from high school, unable to get out of it. It's too tied to too many things. Oh yeah, I have Vanessa neighbor as well. I've got maintenance guy in the house. Oh, nice. Like, yeah, work people, especially if they've got a really common name.

Yeah. That's also the kind of, like, I know that's also how we came up with last names in general. Yeah. Yeah, right. Like, whatever, Anderson. Yeah, or Magnuson, yeah. Yeah, but it's also a way I feel like I'm losing my mind. It's like, well, I'm not going to remember who this person is.

So I better put a... Clue. A mnemonic. This last one comes from Alex M. Also in New York. I was taking a little trip out of... Oh, out of New York in NYC and stopped for dinner. Sort of an escape from New York.

If you will. The very pretty town of Catona, New York. I sat at the bar and there were very few friendly... Oh, there were a few... Sorry, there were a few. There were very few friendly people there. They're so mean. The friendly regulars having drinks.

I got a corn chowder for my first course, and I ate it pretty quickly. The guy next to me was trying to get me into their conversation. And his icebreaker was, your mom would be so proud. You did a good job on that soup. You didn't leave any of the bowl. I didn't have to feed you. You didn't make a mess. But it looks thick.

Yeah. Chowder. Absolutely. Corn chowder. I've never heard of that. before. Really? Yeah. So instead of clam, they use corn? Yeah. Wow. I think you might even find, I believe I erroneously heard that what makes a chowder a chowder is the presence of corn, but that's not true. I'll believe it. But I think corn could be in any chowder. Yeah.

Yeah. It's been a long time since I've had, like, gone to a restaurant and ordered chowder. Or corn. I mean, I'll get corn on the restaurant. If it's on the menu, yeah. I'll take it any which way. Corn? I don't know that I've seen corn in a restaurant. Yeah. Maybe you have

to go to church's chicken. Ooh, do we? The skin slides right off. That's how you know it's done. Yeah.

This is a good chicken. There used to be 24-hour churches on Main Street. There was one up on Fraser Street. So there are, according to this, there are 11 types of clam chowder. Oh, wow.

Oh. There's New England, which is the creamy white. Manhattan is tomato-based. Rhode Island is clear. Clear chowder. Yeah. Long Island is both creamy and tomato base. California clam chowder is in a bread bowl.

I can't think of a place I would less want to eat chowder than California. Yeah. Minorkan. Hot chowder. Delaware. Bread of bread. Maine. Come on, Maine.

Just get on board with the others. Connecticut. Come on. Yeah. Portuguese clam chowder. Ooh. Yeah. Which is from Massachusetts.

So does anyone have corn chowder doesn't have clam in it? Like the kind I've had because I'm allergic to seafood. Yeah, right. I've had. Corn chowder is the one I've had. Oh, okay, cool. Still dairy in it probably, right? Yeah, but you know, you kind of make it.

You got to do something. Get on the train. Yeah, I get it. Let me just find the wiki for chowder apparently. Chatter wiki. Chatter is a type of thick soup prepared with milk or cream, a rue, and seafood, or vegetables. Okay. Oyster crackers or saltines may accompany chatters as a side item.

Saltine crackers. It's been just a little bit too warm to get chattered. I feel like I just wanted to get freezing for a while before I really get into the soup. The soup, yes. I'm in already. Yeah. Yeah. It's just so easy.

Yeah. I was running air conditioning during this episode because I am not a hot. You're a sweaty. Yeah. Guys, in addition to overhears that are written and we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1.844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh, spy pod.

One like these people have, but also send us a voice memo. Record it on your phone and send it to SPY at maximum fun.org like these people have. Hey, stop podcasting yourself. I'm driving on my way to pick up my... Story checks up. ...from the train station. And I am driving behind a car. When I saw some of the stickers that they had on the back

and immediately thought of you. So from what I can gather, people are swingers because I can tell that because the stickers on the back of their cars, they have three. One says, I love hot mom. The other says, we'll swing. It pushed. And the last one says, just ask with a upside down pineapple. That's the class all right.

the piece, the resistance, is that their license plate has a frame around it with pineapple patterns all over it. So, yeah. No freaking way.

Bye. Oh, they really want you to know. Yeah. And like, you know, first and foremost, if you're going to leave us a voice on it, pull over. I like hearing that clicker going. I'm surprised you only got honked at once. I mainly picked it because of the traffic houses.

But that is interesting, the fact that so many swingers will advertise it on their car. And that one person, they had a sticker that said, just ask. Yeah. Like, am I supposed to, like, knock on your window? Yeah, I guess. Or, you know, like, maybe they have a card if you ask them. They hang you like, here's where it will be. Also, open relationships are like pretty common now in comparison to the past, right?

Like, couldn't you just go on an app? Yeah, but I like the... Yeah, in person. In person, in traffic. Yeah. Physical media. So, like, you rolled in your window and they're like, hey, I want to join you for some... Sex with your partner.

Yeah. Some swinging sex. And then the driver turns and looks his partner. She shigs it. It's a no from us. Also, I like that phrase, Will swing if pushed. Yeah, that's pretty good.

Clever swingers. Yeah. Yeah. Are out there, man. For swingers, is it that you have to swap each other? Or can you just have a third? Can you just have a third?

Or can you go all together? I think all of it's on the table. All of it's on the table. Is it really then different than, I guess there's terms for everything. Yeah. Yeah. It's a fun term.

too. Swinging. Yeah. Makes me I think of Swinging London. Yeah. Makes me

think of Vince Vaughn and John Favreau. Dave, you're so money. I'm so money. Next one. Hi, Dave and Graham and Potsful guests.

This is Marnie from San Diego. Hey, Mark. And I am still working on that pop-ice sweater I showed you last year. Oh, yeah. I've been overseen.

I was driving home in my neighborhood and I saw a guy walking his dog. The dog was standing and had handstand style on his front legs, kissing into a bush. So amazing. I've seen videos of that.

Wow. That's got to be lucky. If you see something like that? Yeah. So on their front legs. Yeah, feet high in the air. And then peeing. Wow.

Up and around? Or how does it go? It goes everywhere, man. No, I've seen it. And it kind of looks like a dog will lift one leg. and then the dog kind of just like lifts both legs and they Huh. Wow.

Fucking dogs are incredible, eh? Yeah. Have you ever seen it? I've never seen it. I've never seen it in person but I've seen it plenty on. I get served a lot of that on Instagram. And you've been on the wrong Reddit.

Or the right Reddit. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And here's your final phone call. Hi, this is Dave F from I'm Fort Wayne, Indiana. I'm Davis.

The resting place of Johnny Appleseed. Sure. Anyway, I was calling in with an overseen. I recently opened a used book that I got from a thrift store, and I'm assuming it was donated from a high school because just on the front cover, or the inside page of the front cover, it says, My name is Sam Lomar. If you find this book, please shove it up your ass.

Thank you and have a nice day. Anyway, off I go. That rules. That's how you leave your mark on society. Yeah. He's sort of a Johnny Appleseed of writing on the inside of books. Telling people to shove some up there. So they said that's where Johnny Appleseed is from?

The resting place of Johnny Appleseed. But is Johnny Appleseed a real guy? I don't know nothing about Johnny Appleseed. Yeah. I thought he was like the Green Giant. What's he known for? Eating Applese? Is Johnny Appleseed?

I think he like spread apples across America. Yeah. Oh, wow. We don't get, we don't. We don't have him here. No. We know the name. And I think there's like a prayer you can sing.

Yeah, we have Cinder Klaus. Grab us. That's what we have. Who are the Canadian ones? That are like the like explorers or. Laura Seacord? Yeah. She ran around, but I think he was in the war.

Yeah. She went and told. It on the mountain. You told that on the mountain. Sorry, I totally interrupted you for a nothing. We don't have Johnny Alba Zee, we have Johnny Corn Chowder. Spending chowder from coast to coast. Johnny Alpilseed is an American pioneer, nursery man, who introduced trees grown with apple seeds,

as opposed to trees grown with grafting. to large parts of Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, and the Canadian province of Ontario. Oh. Wow. BC has apples, too. So I guess one of his buddies came up for those ones. I'm picturing, you know how you hear about that expensive coffee that has to pass through? Uh-huh.

That's what I picture Johnny Appleseedseed today. So it's this final resting place, but it had so many seeds in his gut that a huge. Orchard group Well, you know Johnny Apple Ced Amen Amen The Lord is good to me

Well, thank you so much For being our guest, Christine This is so much fun So much fun, always You are a director and an improviser Where can people see you improvise? Or direct Or direct.

Yeah, I mean, you can go to my website If you want Christinebordland.com to see my commercials and stuff, and I'm not very good at updating it with upcoming shows, but I'm going to try. Yeah. But we'll see. This year, 2026.

I know. I'm trying to do what I say I'm going to do. Yeah. But I always fail at that. Do you have a regular show? Yes. Okay, so we're doing Hell Night on February 28, I think. Yeah.

February 28th, yeah. And then I'm going to be helping out a bunch within Just for Laft, Vancouver, which is from February 13th to 26. I don't know. Sure. If you say so, you're the authority. I should have that off the top. And then there's also, tonight, I am hosting the free improv jam at Little Mountain Gallery or LMG comedy on Water Street.

And they do it every Tuesday at different times. And I try to host it once a month. You should totally come by if you want to do improv for free with some other people. That is some good plugs. Yeah. That was good. We don't know how long just for laughs goes. but you can figure that out.

You're on the website. Buy a ticket to a show. It'll be within those days. JFEL Vancouver.com. Just check it out. Yeah. Go to live shows. Go to live shows, exactly.

And get a Bluroy player. Yeah. Physical media. Yeah. So also stay home. Yeah. At all costs. Well, thank you.

And thank you everybody out there for listening. If you get a cake from Dairy Queen, these teens, they can freehand it. You can come up with some. cool characters and see them reflect, or, you know, get a picture of yourself. Or, you know, you can do all sorts of stuff. And come on back next to you for another episode to stop podcasting yourself.