Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 935 - Andrew Johnston

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

Comedian Andrew Johnston joins us to talk celebrity documentaries, broken bones, and wrestler butts. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Welcome to episode number 935 of Stop Podcasting yourself. My name's Graham, and with me as always, is a man who, fresh haircut, fresh shirt I don't think I've seen before. Fresh whole look, Mr. Dave Shumka. Shirt's not fresh haircut?

Couldn't be fresher. My first time. Doing it myself. No, really? Mm-hmm. Looks pretty good. That's okay. Yeah.

Just straight. up razor or do you do some clipping? Clipper. Clipper or clipper. Yeah, but no, no sniffing. You didn't want to give yourself bangs or anything like that? I did a little up the upmore, upmore. I'm trying.

Classic joke from my childhood. What is that? What is the joke? There's this boy named Upmore. And you can only imagine where it goes from there. Yes. And yeah, so I did. It looks good.

I did clippers against the grain on the sides. with the grain on the top. I watched a video. Yeah. And then Abby tidied me up. Well, that's as good as... Look how the money is all about. I know.

Our guest today, first-time guest here on the podcast. So glad to have him here. Formerly, living in Toronto, currently living in L.A., visiting our city for just a short time. It's Andrew Johnson. Hi. I can't believe you've been paying for that until now, Dave. Anyway, it looks great. Thanks.

So, have you ever? What? Cut your own hair? Oh, yeah. Back in the day. Oh, back when those like Hitler youth like things were like really fashionable. Well, you mean like this kind of a scoop up? Like the very shaved sides and like long on top.

I was just about to say, I mean, they are still fashionable. But now they're more of a statement. Yeah. But back then, yes, I would. I would do my own undercutting. And yes, I would. But no, it's been it's been more than a minute. But yeah.

Oh, my God. I do a lot. I do a lot. I, I, D.I. A lot of Y. But not that anymore. Yeah. It's, well, let's get to know. Get to know us. I, uh, only like years and years and years ago I had, I shaved my head just to see what's going on under there. You know what I mean? Which I think everyone should do their due diligence. When did I see you?

Oh, you never. Oh, this was before. This is before I moved. to Vancouver. I had to reshave it every couple of days or so. But I liked it. I liked it, but it was... Did you ever see the back of your head? Yeah. And it's okay. It's not awful back. Did you have neck rolls? No, I was too skinny at the time. I wonder if I have them out. I do. Every time I get my haircut, I make her show me. We have a running joke. That's what I'm going to miss about getting my hair, cutting my own hair. Is this running joke where she holds

the mirror up and I say, oh, I look like a linebacker. Oh. I try to. Like, I try to get one when you try and get neck rolls? Just for that. Oh, I do not care for that. I'm on my flight here yesterday, actually. Someone was watching whatever that movie with Dwayne, The Rock Johnson and Emily Blunt. Oh, what a couple.

What a matchup. Oh, Rettlement. Oh, my God. Oh, the chemistry test for that one must have been like, what if? But, but I remember he had neck rolls. And I was just like, well, that is a very fit guy. And, oh, boy, I don't know. It's just those.

Some guys got that neck. Yeah. I guess. Have you ever seen one of the guys, like, they got neck rolls and then they've got this crazy, like, looks like there's a brain on top of their head, you know, like the squiggles. Yeah. I think keep your hair along, if that's the case. I mean, you don't, not ever get the choice. That's true.

I have neck rolls, back rolls, pussy rolls, and crack rolls. Okay, Kia. I went to a chiropractor recently, and he was like, what's the problem tonight? I'm like, oh, it's a classic Kia combo, neck back, pussy and crack. Fix all of it, bitch. Oh, anyway, he did. He was like, yeah, you're cracking crooked. You should just be like, so where on the Kia doesn't hurt today?

Where are the K-H-I-A? Neck back, pussy or crack, or all of the above, yes. And now I'm assuming, because you cut your own hair, no neck rolls in the back? Or do you have? No, I wasn't investigating it back then, but this was a while ago. You look to, I don't think, I don't think so. Just by looking at you right now, I don't think you'd be a neck roll. Well, I'll tell you.

have to take your word for it. Now, like, as I got a big beard, I haven't, I haven't really dealt with the underside of this. This is a big thing. And there's a lot of men who accumulated facial hair on the last 15 years. It's really, it's really interesting because actually, I just did punch up for this script about a comic in the 80s, like this guy, a former neighbor of mine, who would be, I think, 30 or something like that. So he's just like, it's like a period piece set in the 80s. And I'm like, okay, before I give you my notes, like for the actual jokes, here are the various anachronisms about, because the guy had all this scruffy,

like very 2000 and now facial hair, and I'm like back in the 80s, no. No. Like, no, no, that would have been very beatnik. You know, that would have been, everyone was very clean shaven. And so I sent him a bunch of clips like Richard Jenny, RIP. Oh, yeah, Richard Jenny.

I'm like, these are, no, you would be wearing a smart blazer and you would be clean shaven. Facial hair really did not come in. in as a thing. Like, it's unthinkable to think that J.D. Vance has facial hair right now. Yeah. Yeah. As someone at that level.

Although there was, you know, apparently Trump hates it. A hundred years earlier, you would. Like, when did they, like. Yes. Oh, mutton chops and all that. Yeah. I was watching, speaking of anachronisms, I was watching high fidelity with John Cusack.

And he goes back and there's flashbacks to him dating all his old girlfriends. And there's one where he's dating someone in the 80s. And there's, they all. have water bottles on the table. No one drank water out of a bottle. No, no one drank water. Yeah. Nobody drank water.

No, or you would be in a dixie fucking cup. Yeah. It would be, it would be a single little bird sip that you would have maybe if you were like extra parched, but no one drank water. Like, I was in high school. I think I had like a water bottle. And that was really forward. That was really progressive.

We had a water fountain. Yeah. And it wasn't allowed in every class. Oh, the water fountain was like, if you had gym class, there's a line up for the water. But no one else. No other time. No, water fountains, but not B-Y-O-O-WB. Some people had an algae, but that meant they were a hippie.

And some people had squeeze ones that were like cyclists, I feel like that they had those. Oh, sure. Well, if you were active, if you were doing like. But yeah, you're right. Just sitting around. In class, it was just kind of like, well, that counts as food, you know. And that was, there will be no eating in class. Unless you brought enough water for everyone.

I think so. I think so. But, oh, John Cusack, my least favorite Cusack. You're Joan. Joan, then Anne and then John. I don't know much about Anne. Well, have you watched, when was the last time you watched The League of Their Own? Oh, right.

She was the illiterate one. She learns the... Huh, honey, can you read? No. What's your name? Shirley Biker? This is you right here. You're one of us.

You were a Rockford Peach. Anyway. I know. Good read. I know that movie. I was thinking about that movie. I fought them back. Recently.

Because, Graham, last week you talked about you saw Avatar 3. Avatar 3. Yeah. And you didn't love it. I didn't love it. But, you know, like, if he keeps megan, I'm going to go see you. Is Siggy Weaver still involved in them? Siggy Weaver's.

Sigourney? Yes. Yeah. She voices a young one, a teenager. I'm really unclear on that character's existence and how they came to be. Have you seen any of the? No. So the second one?

Right. Second one, yeah, first one, like, we all laughed at it. Yeah. And then second one, I'll see it maybe. I loved it. The second one was great. And then the third one, I loved it again and this bad, this villainous, Varang. Yeah.

This is the horniest I've been for a movie character since Gina Davis and a league of their own. Oh, oh, she's got a type, okay. Amazonian heavy hitters. I like tall women. Sheena Davis, Doddy Henson, best player they had in that league, only played one. season. I have trouble with humanoid things. And you must, you can only imagine the trouble I'm having with porn at this moment.

As AI is starting to infiltrate it, I was just saying, like I was saying to some female friends of mine, I'm like, I think there is going to be a shunning of AI because it is starting to like, I will see some things and certainly in sort of those adverts before you get to the, you know, streaming things. And I'm just like, this is doing nothing for it for me to the point where it is repulsing me. And it's making me want to walk away. Well, the avatar movies do have a big subplot of sort of a council of whales. For real.

The real whale? Well, no, they're Tolkien. But they're whale-like. And they communicate and they have, you know, like the matriarch wears jewelry. Yeah. It's really unclear who's attaching these. A female whale and jewelry? Yeah.

That's really lost news. Well, you're selling me a little bit. You're selling me. And it's, you know, they, I'm going to have to see what this is all about. The second movie is more whale focused. Yeah. And do you ever sci-fi, sci-fi fantasy? Okay, not sci-fi, but post-apocalyptic stuff.

And I'm going to tell you what I was just thinking about today on my way here is coming from Northman, where I'm staying right now and looking at the mountains in the background with the condos there. I'm like, this is giving capital and hunger games. I love The Hunger Games movies. I don't consider them sci-fi. I consider them dystopian and I'm really into that. But once a sci-fi element comes into the fold, did you ever watch Lost? Yeah.

As soon as it took a sci-fi turn, I was the fuck out of there. Can I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did I just make this explicit? No, it's fine. Okay. No, you can all the way down the line. I'm sorry.

But, yeah, as soon as there's a whiff, yeah. I mean, I'll get into some sci-fi. And obviously, I watch things with CG. But I just, the humanoid thing, this is also why I don't like the Pixar movies. I'm just kind of like, I want it either very CG or like the humanoid thing. What was the point in Lost where it became sci-fi, refresh my memory? I think there was a time travel element. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That came in towards the later seasons. All I know is that I was like really into Lost. I watched it contemporaneously as it was on air. And then for the final season, like I still have not completed the series. I don't feel like... I still don't know what happens and frankly, don't care. I don't think anybody really...

I loved it. I loved it until then. But like, it was the kind of thing that, you know, when people are... People hated how Game of Thrones ended. Yeah, but you liked the first five seasons. Yeah. It's a joy for what it is.

Did you... I imagine there are a lot of spy listeners who are caught up on Game of Thrones so we're not spoiling anything. I've only ever watched the finale. I haven't seen anything else of the show. I was at my parents' house. They had watched every episode.

and they had it on, so I watched the very last episode. Really? Yeah. I tweeted about it while I was watching and kind of saying like, and not knowing who anyone was. Yeah, I was like, so who's this guy? Is that the throne that we're all talking about? Game of Thrones took a lot of extracurricular brushing up. Yeah.

Because I did not read the books. I still have no interest in reading them. And also, it's a little too late. Like, what's the point? And I'm fucking finishing them now. But I did, yes, I'm someone who really does need something to pass the Bechtel test for me to be into it. And so that, when I have spoken to gay guys who aren't into Game of Thrones, I'm like, no, no, like, if Andrew Johnson was invested, you'll be invested. Like, there were

enough meaty female characters doing shit that wasn't about a man. Sure. You'll be into it. Yeah. So, um, yeah, is a, I, a couple weeks ago, I said that I'm swearing off zombie movies because I feel like they've exhausted the format. Do you like the zombie movie? Okay. So that, not that post-apocalyptic, but other types of Well, but that's sci-fi, too, technically. Ah, you're right, that's more sci-fi. Are you, um, you don't want to visit the Bone

Temple? Uh, man, I don't know. Did you know they were putting out that other 28 years later right after the first Yeah, because the movie ends with a dot, dot, dot, dot. With a bunch of Jimmy Saville. The only zombie movie that I've really seen was, um, the remake of Dawn of the Dead with Sarah Polly and I was working on a show, like, inside the actor's studio, uh, show and she was a guest one week, so we needed to watch.

like her entire Uvra. And so I did watch that. And I still will have nightmares about that. So maybe that's a test. Here's how, here's how dumb I am. I would watch Oliver over and then I'd be like, I'm still just going to ask if you want to cracker.

And she'd be like, I don't see what that has to do with Road to Avenley. Yeah. Are you sick of Road to Avonle? Let's talk crackers. Not possible to be sick of Road to Fucking Avonlea. Now, what was this show that was a pseudo inside the act? I think it was called Distinguished Artists and it was on TVO. It was run out of the TV.

Oh, sure. And you wouldn't have it here because it's BC. No, it's a treat when I go there. Yes, I know. TV Ontario. TV Ontario. But it was run out of the Humber. Like basically what it was, because I graduated from the, well, I have a university degree, first of all.

So it was a post grad. Sure. From Humber. So I went to Queens. Oh. Yeah. Musk's alma mater. Heard of it.

And. And. Oh. Ha! Yeah. Oh, heavens. But so... Did you do the comedy? No.

Queens drama. And then I did TV writing and production at Humber. And I don't know if that program exists. You never learned how to make sure you know. Get out of it. Get out of it. And just like learn how to work with AI kids because that is done now. And so it was run out of in-house there and they were able to sort of bankroll it because the college would give them money to bring in speakers.

And then they would saddle this on while the person. person was in town doing actual talk. Just stop for corporate academic money, right? And was that TVO, was that the same station that Frank DeAngelo had his talk show on, or was that CHCH? No clue. You know Frank.

Obviously, you know who Frank DeAngelor is. It rings a bell, but see, okay, I've got some very iffy blind spots about Canadian television because where I grew up, Brockville, Ontario, the jewel of the Thousand Islands, just outside of the city on the outskirts, we didn't have cables. So my parents got one of those enormous satellite dishes. Oh, yeah. And so we got like global television, not actual global TV like that. Like I knew that was a network in Canada.

But I did watch a lot of American television. Like I didn't have much music growing up. I didn't have the comedy network until like university. I didn't have, I did have TV. I was a kid. I watched Today's special and poking out door and shit like that. A special. That's a trip.

Oh, I'd say. My God, an interracial, you know, fairy tale. Hey, what's that's the one ahead of its time? The mannequins? Yeah, the mannequins. Yeah, the mannequin. Well, not mannequins, mannequin. Jeff and Jody.

Jody was NDPM.P. Nareen Virgin who just passed, I think, last year or the year before. Jeff was the white mannequin. But was he like a life at night? What was his life? Was Jeff Hisslop? I think so. And he was a Phantom of the Opera at one point.

Oh, I thought he was like a figure skater. No, it's like he was a Broadway musical. Maybe he could have been both. It seems as though he could have been both. Yeah. And then a little mouse. character. Yes, Muffy the mouse.

I've seen a lot of there's like, there's like, it's so weird because Vancouver is not really Canada. Yeah. Like, and so you see a lot of like, we didn't have Tim Horton until the mid 90s here. No shit. And like, there's a ton of stuff like that where it's like, oh, you know, on these like retro Instagram Canadian accounts, they'll post videos and pictures of things that I'm like, I I watched a thousand hours of TV a week, and I never saw this shit.

A lot of people. You really needed to be a specific age cohort, I think, growing up in Ontario to really be entrenched in today's special. I do remember Aisha Brown and I went as Jeff and Jody for Halloween one year. We were at Scott Thompson's Halloween party, and 25% of the people knew who we were and really got it, and the rest of them didn't. And so it was just to be very drunkenly wearing a brown afro and like a cap and a vest. You were her and she was here.

No, no, he also had curly hair, but it was like a brown furriced. And I just remember drunkenly, like, talking to Leah Delaria. And she was like, who the fuck is this? Get out of my face. Anyway, so, Jesus. Yeah, yeah. No skating. Jeff Heslop, Canadian actor, singer, dancer, choreographer, and director.

Now, here's a show that I'd like to bring up just while we're on the topic of Canadian-specific children's programming, size small. Yeah, why does that ring a bell? That rings a bell. It was based out of Saskatchewan. And it was quite a trip. So some clips of that really started to make the rounds again a few years ago. And so that's how. But that was the one where they had friend record, this great big record with a spoon.

Yeah. Yeah. And then there was a grandmother who was actually like a young girl, but she spoke with a wishful. Like, shut a wish. Yeah. There are going to be viewers or like listeners of yours right now who are going to be leaping out of their skin right now that we're talking about this. So, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It's, uh, that's Helen Lumbie. I think she's still with us, barely. But size small, full episode, Miss Helen, ASMR. Yes, because she sort of was. I think there's a lot of that, like, gentle television that people are now realizing, oh, that might have been ASMR. Yeah. But that was a very old school thing.

But that was also based out of Saskatchewan or Alberta or something. They did a lot of cowboy, like riding horses and planes and prairie sort of stuff. Grames from Calgary and the big show based out of there was. There was a game show called Kid Street. Yes, I remember that. I'm sorry, did I just pop the mic really hard because, oh, did that ever ping? Yeah. The guy that hosted it was a former Second City alum named Kevin Frank.

And his intro. He also hosted a dog show about a dog. That's right. What was that called? Dogginet. He hosted Doggin' it. Raw dogginant. Was that the after hours version of that?

After dark, Dogging it after dark, Raw, dog at it. And it was kids, it was brothers and sisters in cars that would clap above their heads. I remember this well.

Yeah. And then they would quiz the brother and then he would go away and they quizzed the sister. I get siblings. It didn't have to be brothers and sisters. Yeah. And then at the end

you had to solve a visual puzzle and the prize that you'd get was a gigantic prize kind of shopping spree at a place called Toys and Wheels, which was like a Calgary specific. But the things they had on display that you could buy, everything.

Everything you wanted. Everything a kid would possibly, you know, from Nintendo up through action figures and all that kind of shade in between. I don't like what Benjamin Nintendo's been doing in Israel. Most political thing we've ever said on the show. That is. Benjamin Nintendo.

Oh, boy. Well, you know what? That's great. That's going to game the Algo. Yep. That's not going to be flagged by the new TikTok. That's true. If this goes on TikTok,

because you would say it the other way. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have on Spotify, is this everybody that, when you're listening to a podcast or something, it's like not transcribing it for you on your phone? Oh, I don't listen on Spotify.

That would be a setting, I think, that you could probably turn it. I hope so because I'd urge you to turn that on. Yeah, it's, Weird. Yeah. Very weird. Oh, the transcription. I mean, AI is still not coming for that.

Oh, boy. Well, that I do. I mean, they miss a lot. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, if you want to get everything you want out of an AI transcription, you're not going to, like, you're not going to enjoy reading it. But you're going to be able to keep track of where you are in the show.

And it's also, like my friend who's a lawyer, a crown prosecutor, she's had meetings where they've like let's see if AI can you know do the minutes of the meeting and it doesn't know what is important and what is not important no no it's just everything's like a block yeah and then they ate some sandwiches and as someone had a great idea to order coffee um yeah i love AI yeah no not true yeah hey it's coming for us all but like will we want i mean i just yeah i've watched that Avatar, which is like 90% not humans. I mean, that's everybody. It's no AI, though.

No, no AI. What's the movie that just came out or he's coming out? Darren Aronofsky has like an all AI movie. Oh, cool. Yeah, I guess. Liza Minnelli just released an all, all AI song that she's under fire for. Yes, she did. So what is, is it just, how does it work?

How does it work? They would have just put in some samples of her voice and was like, make a dance track. Like a bitch track out of this. her name with an S, right? Dave. Come on. Dave. It's, it, do you really want me to do this right now?

Because bitch, I fucking will. It's Liza with a Z. Not Lisa with an Ska. As Lisa with an Sko, not Z. Anyway. You asked for it. I did. You asked for it.

And you were telling us upstairs that some Canadian comedians used AI, clearly used AI in their tributes. I'm sorry. if any of them are listening to this, you should have known better, bitch. Like, to make literally Chachybt, right, you know, something that I can post about Kathmore O'Hara and didn't even remove the prompts. Like, the M dashes are one thing, but to say, next, I can talk about her contributions the Canadian comedy scene.

And, babe. Like, babe. No one is sitting there being like, this person hasn't released a statement about the importance of California. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And time is ticking. If you have a picture of you with them, all the better. Oh, my God.

I mean, just post a picture. Post the picture, and then it's always, you know, she said I was funny, and that meant a lot for me, and it's the same post over and over again. Did you watch Girls Five, Eva? No, is that the Tina. Tina Faye? It's about basically a one-hand-wonder girl group. Sarah Borellis, Renee Lees-Goldsbury from the Hamilton Cinematic Universe. Paula Pell, who was a writer from S&L, and then Busy Phillips.

Good cast. Yeah. Long-form. name business Phillips. So the four of them, they played a girl group who had like a one-hit wonder. If anyone knows sort of Y2K, you're a pop, I think it was loosely modeled on the group Dream who had a song, He Loves You Not, that goes, he's into what he's got, he loves me, he loves you not.

Yes. Wow, that just unlocked something in my brain. Yes, well, I believe they were put together by Diddy, so anyway, but so they were sort of loosely based on that. And there is a story arc in which Renee, Lee Goldsbury's character, who is the sort of vacuous one, is like, oh, this person just, Joan Diddy and her Jane Goodall just died. I need to get this photo. And then she goes on Instagram and John Hamm has already posted something. She's like, Ham. He keeps up beating her to the punch. She's like, Ham beat me to the punch again. Anyway, but it's so, it's such a thing like that. But, oh, I mean, maybe you don't need to post about it. Well, that's, you know, a lot of, like, in the last few years, they're like, I don't need to post something about that. I will say this now that I'm a content queen.

Now, explain to us what a content queen is just, well, what we do now, right? We make content. You put it out every day? Not ever, no, certainly not. But I will say, I was remarking to Heidi Brander, who's been a repeat guest on this, she's my roommate and BFF down in L.A. And I was just saying, oh, whenever there is a diva down, the race is on for me to make a, a super cut. It's true because I'm just like that is really, oh yeah.

So I made this, I cobbled together about a two and a half minute thing of Catherine O'Hara from the Christopher guest quadrologies. And I stitched those together and it's still quite beloved. Nice. Yeah. Raising up views and likes and subscribes and follows. But I mean, I adore those movies so much. Yeah. And every like you get is you will be donating to a good good.

cause. Well, yes. All zero dollars will be absolutely going. Yeah. Any profits from this is that we'll go towards. To the red fucking cross. Now, I most recently heard you on evil men, friends of the show. Talking about Gian Giam Meshi.

Oh. And was that was not recent, but yes, that was me. I was the only one with the balls to go there. That's why. Yeah. And you had insider information. Oh, I have more insider information that they cut. I almost doxed him at one point, actually.

And that was one. I loved that one. I love it when it's like a Canadian. Yeah. Doing that show. And who are the other Canadian evil men? Well, they haven't done Kevin O'Leary. Oh, yeah.

I'm amazed. They must be saving that one. They haven't done Don Cherry. Have they not? Oh, yeah, they haven't done that I did. The very first episode that I did was a infamous Torontoian serial killer in Mollsanta, Bruce MacArthur. Yes. And I just remember being like, this is a little dark, guys.

I'm sorry. Yeah, but still it's like, because, you know, the broad strokes of these things. Broad strokes and true crime, it's a big thing. Yeah. Did you read that Toronto Life article about the Canadian Bonnie and Clyde? No. It was, oh my God, those stupid Gen Z dummies who. tried to concoct like a PPE grift and then borrowed money from a Vancouver-based Coke dealer.

Like a modern day? Modern day, Bonnie and Clyde. And then they were just kind of like, I don't know how we're going to pull him. We're going to pay him back. And they're like, well, let's just murder him. And so they did that thinking it would be really easy. They didn't. They escaped to the Czech Republic and they were both extradited back to Canada.

And they're both in prison now. And they were just so stupid and so vacuous and so. So Gen Z Toronto era and, oh, that one, I'd really recommend. That's a great long read. So, you know, Chef's Kiss to the folks of Toronto Life. And it's like, again, my current prosecutor friend said, the reason they catch people most of the time is that people are very stupid. They're so stupid. It's not.

It's so hard to, like, get away with anything. One of the things was at one point, they were like, okay, so we need to leave our phones in the condo so that it looks like we were here. and then he's like, okay, well, we need to take the stairs because there's no, security cameras in there. She's like, no, I don't want to. I'm going to have to take the elevator. Well, whatever, I'll put a wig on. And so she put, she's Asian. She puts on a blonde wig, so, you know, really fitting in.

And just thinking like, well, why? I mean, the whole thing was that's insane is that they meet them. They rendezvous in this abandoned warehouse parking lot saying, like, this is where we're going to do a new marijuana grow up. And they're like, no, this is we're going to shoot you. And he brings along. his pregnant girlfriend, and this is kind of a sad thing. And so they shoot them both. They go and dispose of one of the vehicles.

They come back and the girlfriend's body is no longer there. And they're like, well, why? So they drive around looking for her, just getting their faces and all over security cameras in Hamilton. And then, yeah, it turns out the girlfriend survived. Her baby did not, unfortunately. I'm sorry to bring that down. But the girlfriend survives and it's just kind of like, yeah, these have to be push on. You know, it's like, well, maybe we.

We can just like, you know, sort of ride this out in the Czech Republic. And then, lo and behold. Of all the places to go. Lo and behold, they're caught in the Klurb district. You know. And they're sent back. Oh, my God. And that literally the girl's defense was because she comes from money.

Her mother was like a really big financial advisor and donor to the liberal party. Ah. Many photos of her and Trudeau. So. Really? Almost as many as many as kidding. Didn't he? Did he do that Trudeau?

Well. Were these pictures in blackface or not? Yeah. No. Black bottoms. But he, I mean, this is the tea about. I mean, I don't know what we can say here in terms of like, I guess if I preface it by saying, alleged, alleged, alleged, alleged.

I mean, those two, I guess we're very open for many years. Really? Him and his former wife, Sophie. Sophie Griglaw, Trudeau. Yes. And so Katie Perry better be. Oh, they were open. She better give him a long leash.

an open arrangement. Apparently. Oh. Yeah. Well, you know, you can't keep a Trudeau down. You can't keep a Trudeau down. My father like son. Well, that's, yeah, right.

Fuck Trudeau isn't just a bumper sticker. It's a way of life. Oh, have you ever seen him in person? Justin Trudeau? Yeah. I don't know. My parents have, they were like, they were on Parliament Hill taking a photo. And then he was just walking outside.

No security detail or anything. Yeah. That's Canada. Yeah. He's like, there's the part of this. Past guest. Just Delisleal was a student of his when he was a teacher. That's right.

He was a teacher. Yeah. Drama teacher before he was a dramatic teacher before he was a lot of sense. And my sisters lived in the same building as him here in Vancouver, but I don't know if they ever had sex with him. How could you keep track at this point? No, he's very, I saw him marching in a pride parade years ago. And 2016, I think it was. And I was just like, okay, yeah, wood.

Wood. All right. Wait, he's tall. He's very tall. He's tall and solid. I didn't think about that he's tall. I wouldn't have thought that. I always, because I'm always quite, when I meet people who are like famous, I'm always like, oh, you're emaciated, you know.

Yeah, yeah. He's quite, he was quite tall. You're quite tall. I mean, ish, 6-1. Probably you're right. Yeah. You were 6-1? No, I'm like 5-11 in a bit.

Yeah. You must have been wearing heels. Let's go back to back. We like to mark everybody, every guest on the wall. I go back to back to wrap our neck rolls together. Perfect idea. Neck rolls, mark our heights. You know, call it a day.

I don't know. When you walked in the door, I was like, oh, this guy's towering over me. I mean, I wouldn't say that. But maybe you just have such a presence. Well, that is probably true. And I'm like, Homer Simpson, well, I happen to eating more. But, no, I mean, I've said, I'm, I know people who are a lot taller than me. I could, I wouldn't mind being a few, like, six three.

I think that would proportion me out. Who's our tallest guess is? Was Lachlan? probably that's Sunny dolly wall? Sunny's pretty tall Sunny was a basketball player Yeah

Was Lockland is there you You might be eye to eye with him Hightwise Yeah Oh God I haven't seen that guy in years So I have no way I can't

I think he's tall Let me just Yeah Look up the podcast And arrange by height Yes Yeah To get AI

To work on Make a tab Where you can just Click You know Arrange by height And you can just Listen to tallest

Or shortest To tallest apartment for years and he could barely stand in it. Oh, yeah, yeah. I lived in a basement apartment for years and that was, that was, yeah. How many, when you were in Toronto, how many different places did you live? Because I was doing, just one? I lived, I moved in with my aunt and uncle in Forest Hill for like six months when I moved

there and then I moved out that winter and I was in that place. Well, I paid like 700 something for it. So I kept that for a while. A broad view in Danforth, yeah. I ping ponged around this city at least 12 times. Sure. And a couple different basement suites along the way. Are you Nexus?

Are you a Nexus TTP holder? No, no. So that would make that pretty tough. They're moving all over. Yeah. Yeah. It does seem like I'm a criminal of some sort. How long are you, is the place you've been at now, you've been at like, you move there

2019? No, no. Just before like, oh yeah, late 2019. That's the longest you've lived anywhere? That's a good question, I think. Because you're still a young man. Yeah, that's true. I'm still in my 30s.

Oh, wow. No, I'm not. You've got good skin. Do I? You've got very good skin. Oh, thank you. And I imagine you have very good skin for the amount that you actually put into it, knowing you.

I can't imagine you've got an eight-step routine. I don't. I say that with love. What a... Boy, I can think of... How many steps do you do? I do... You've got gorgeous skin, too.

I want... Fancy kind of you. I wash. Yeah. Dry. Dry. That's step two. I wait.

Yeah. You both have lovely skin and lovely skin tones and you, yeah. I moisturize my... Oh, by the way. Well, tell me something. I don't fucking know. And I moisturize my... I put beard stuff in.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. But that's... Those are the big two steps. But enough about your wife. Mm-hmm. Anyway, what is cake?

Boy, moisturizing is what step? Yeah, what's your eight steps? So I've never had anything injectable done much of the dismay of people who, you know, things that I have. I remember once on TikTok someone was just like, you need less Botox, not more. And I'm like, can't get less than zero, con. And so, but.

That's what takes us too explicit. Yes, sorry about that. Yeah. College of peptides twice a day. that that's kind of the foundation. I do drink a lot of fucking water. I drink over a gallon. A collagen peptides are these,

these are things you put on your skin? No, there's something you ingest, yeah. So it's just a flavorless powder. You can, you know, stir into your coffee.

I mean, I do a lot of smoothies. And so it just goes in there. It just kind of looks like Coke. Yeah, you know what? It makes your skin smoothie, too.

There you go. Yeah, yeah. But a lot of water. And then, I mean, I don't use really anything. I do. I do use something

called a derma v. Heler though, it's like red light, like the LED therapy. Oh, sure. That's a big. Oh, I'm Jade rolling all day long. Jay, yeah. You put yours in the fridge.

I ever said once I, yeah, well, that's what needs to be. Yeah, absolutely. We have people in our lives who know about this. Jade Roller, that would be a great drag name. And it would be great. Would you ever get an injectable? I mean, I don't need to. No, you don't need to.

For me, I get one, heroin. Honestly, the best thing that you could do is, I mean, just, you know, potions and lotions on skin, but facelift. Like, you know, deep plain, deep plain facelift, baby. That's like, it's still, that's still the beginning and end of. What do you think of Emma Stone's work that she had done? Emma Stone, what is, I haven't seen her. Apparently, she just got some very excellent.

What do you think about Miss Helen? Miss Helen Lumby? Yeah. I think she looks great. Lumby, L-U-M-V-Y? Yeah. Oh, well, they were a big. That's the town my dad was born in.

Really? Where are here? Lumbie British Columbia. Oh, my. Well, maybe they own it. Maybe the Lumbie family from size small own. Maybe they literally own you. That's true.

I am. That's why I have been having trouble growing. Okay, we're looking up Emma Stone. You have a barcode. You have a lumbie barcode on your body, and that's what that was. I have a little lumbie enamel pin up here. Okay. Emma Stone plastic surgery?

Yeah. You know, a lot of them are getting facelifts. younger now. But she, it looks, to me, it looks really good. Just a little, like, kind of subtle. Well, do you know who? I mean, no, that's just lighting. You think? It's lighting and also overdrawing lips. This is the big thing. She's kind of hair quite short. It is very, very fashionable. She's probably had some injectables, like some Botox or whatever, but okay, well, no, age 18, age 35, you're going to look different. The big thing is, yeah, she's had some lip fillers, but she's also overdrawing them. There is such a right now that I cannot stand and I'm sorry to any spy listeners, but I hate the overdrawing

the lips thing. I hate it. You are not supposed to have an upper lip. Why do we bother? No, but like an upper. No one's listening to the end of the show. They all turned it off. I know.

Well, but no, but overdrawing. Your top lip is not supposed to be bigger than your bottom lip. So a lot of this is makeup and contouring too. Like that is a lot of it. I would say if she said no, like if she was just kind of like hand of God, I've, you know, I've had like some, you know, under eye filler or whatever like that. that and that's it, I'd believe her. Yeah. I, uh, you know, there's, uh, there's a, there's a, there's a plastic surgery face and an injectable face that any ever, well, there's a good plastic

surgery face and a bad plastic surgery. But there's, there's, there's like a face that every kind of bad plastic surgery goes towards. They all end up like, like, you know, and so if she still looks like Emma Stone, I think it's good work. And especially being done LA, you like, realize, like, just people have too much time to look at themselves in the fucking mirror. Like, and that's what it is. And they're just kind of like, well, maybe I'll, mm, mm, you know, and then, well, maybe I can just go to TJ and do it. Like Tijuana. Like,

like, no trade a ghost. Yeah. And, you know, you get what you pay for, bitch.

Yeah. So is it, what happens when, uh, both men and women where they had so much plastic surgery? It doesn't even look like a fake kind of cat face. What are they seeing?

Is it just, uh, they're looking at themselves like this. Hmm. There one in the mirror in favorable lighting. Yes. Yeah. By the way,

you'll notice that my photo for this podcast is going to look a lot different than the. past ones because I brought my own lighting. Which is amazing. That's the first time that's ever happened. And so, but it just, you really do realize because I, I just, I've, I've sort of witnessed that ethos. And it's just like, you have too much time to look at yourself in the fucking mirror.

Yeah. And you were looking at yourself in this one way. And, you know, well, a lot of it is like, you know, women are doing it for each other. They're not doing it for men. Right. So, but. Well, is there anybody that you know that's had really good work? Of course.

Who? Name names. I can't say. Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah. Right. We'll save it out.

I mean, it's not hard to figure out. But Michael Jackson. Was he one? Yes. And he's still alive, contrary to popular belief. Oh, are you guys going to see the movie? The Michael Jackson movie? I didn't know one was coming out.

It's called Michael. It stars his nephew. Yeah. Oh, Your Majesty? I think it's a different crazy named. Okay. A different crazily named Jackson or something like that. Yeah.

Yeah. What is the Michael movie, 2026? But it kind of goes from kid to adults, then cuts off there before. I want to know, okay, give me the cast. I want to see who is playing Diana Ross. I want to hear her and see who is playing Catherine Jackson. Well, Jafar Jackson. Yeah, okay, Jafar.

Oh, my God, like Jafar from the fucking Lion, or from Aladdin. Oh, no, not for the Leroy. And then Cat Graham is Diana Ross. No, she is not. There she is. Cat Graham. You know from the Vampire Diaries. Put your graffiti on me.

I know that song. Coleman Domingo's Joe Jackson. Okay. Yeah. Germaine plays himself. James. Neil Long is playing Catherine Jackson. Who's playing Janet?

Or did she not sign off? Whoa, wait. Is Joe Jackson part of the cast? No. I don't know. This is just what Google's giving me. He's long gone. Emily?

Oh, who's playing Cheryl Crow? Actually, that would be interesting. Oh, she was 20 feet from stardom, wasn't she? Who is? Cheryl Crow. Was it? Because she was. was a background singer.

Well, she started off with him on the Bad Tour or whatever it was 2008. She did the Saida Garrett duet. The, I just can't stop loving you. And then, because I'm a big purveyor of like female musician documentaries and I could like give you a laundry list of them. I've seen the Cheryl. The Cheryl one is the worst one. The worst one.

Yeah. The Cheryl one was the most unnecessary one. Have you seen the new Canning Crows? I have heard about it, and I've heard that a big plot point is his girlfriend being like, Adam, I think it's time for the dreadlocks to go. He's like, no. And then by the end, he's like, so I decided to cut the dread. Yeah, that was the preview I said. That's the art.

Yeah, the preview is about it. Mrs. Jones and me. I did. One day I went on, I was just, you know, you know, when you're just like hankering to listen to music of yours. And so I did do a little counting crows thing. And I was like, that song hanging around, great. Yeah. Yeah.

I've been hanging around. That's great. And, you know, around here is a good one. Yeah. Yeah. You know, long December. Angels of the Silences was a real rocker from. Big yellow taxi with Vanessa Carlton.

Oh, nice. Yeah, that's great. Show Crow, though, in that documentary, she does talk about, they're asked like, so what about the allegation? She's like, yeah, he'd be like walking around. holding hands with kids. And I remember thinking that was weird. And it's a good Cheryl Crow, by the way.

Yeah, and I was just like, that's all you have to say about it. Cheryl Crow with your many vintage guitars in the background for the setup that she decides to be interviewed. Gosh, what does the rest of her house look like, do you think? Oh, it's all guitars and like, oh, what are those, like, buffalo skulls? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, like, maybe an old wagon wheel saloon. Wagon wheel saloon.

Chandelier. Restoration hardware. You know, dream catchers and that stuff. A coffee table that's like a vintage like aluminum travel. The other thing that I would say is, so I didn't know this, but her first album Tuesday Night Music Club from whence the song, All I Wanna Do comes from, it was like, I think, plagiarized from a guy who like, called himself. I believe, well, I don't know if you.

Well, okay. So here's what I. Cheryl Crow has blood in her hand. That's what I'm saying. Well, Cheryl Crow did. So Tuesday Night Music Club was like a group of people who got together. And she called her album that. And I think a lot of the like people she would jam with were played on the album.

And some got credit for writing songs and some did not. I think maybe most did not. And one of them, I don't know if this is the guy who you say killed himself. But one of them did die of auto erotic asphyxiation. Because. Well, I take that back then. He died doing what he loved. Yes.

But it might be a different guy. We should all be so long. I only know that because I was looking up auto erotic asphyxiation because everyone thinks that what happened to Michael Hutchins, but that's not true. That was a rumor that his ex spread. That was the-Davidine. Yes, did. And I was on Wikipedia looking at people who died of auto-erotic infomerated.

And so who else? Give us the club. It was David Caradine. The Tuesday night music club. Oh, boy. Oh, that's awful. I don't know if you can keep that. Oh, my God.

I'm not finding it in the You're not finding the Hall of the Audio Erotic Exfixiation Hall of Fame Yeah I'm not boy Seth boy I'm taking my money back Wikipedia Well there's a really good Robin Williams film that he made kind of towards the end of his Yes I've seen that yeah I enjoyed it I thought it was really good He just his son dies by suicide but auto erotic expixiation So then he stages it as if it was a suicide attempt, like a hang suit.

And then he writes a note. And then everybody in the school hated him. And then since he died, everybody's like posting, you know, tributes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. God, that's so sad.

Especially after just watching that Chevy Chase documentary because I'm like, you know, you can. Oh, I haven't watched. Oh, what a miserable old. Oh, God. I mean, he's had a tough life, you know. Yeah. His name is Chevy. Well, no, his name is Cornelius.

But he, you know, had a pretty abusive stepfather. Okay. But, oh, boy, what a crank. Yeah. Oh, to put up mildly. Still to this day. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

What a person who had like zero, like just like hoody-do-doe walk into like the opportunity. Like, that's why he fizzled. Yeah. Because he just was literally like, what's the next job? I don't care. You know, he just had three hits in a row. And then, and then, you know, a more. mortalized forever as in Christmas vacation, but then the reason his career fizzled after

that's because he just had no, you know, curatorial. He had no hands on the steering wheel of his career at all. And then, you know, community happens and he was, you know, and like no one from community is interviewed. Oh, yeah. I know. You can always tell on this documentary is like how, like the access point, like the people who will actually like show up for it. Like, have you seen the Linda Ronstadt documentary? No. No. It's sublime. It's like the, best one that I've seen. Linda Ronsat's sound of my voice. Everyone's like literally whoever gets the call is like absolutely I'm there.

Right. You know, Cindy Lopper? No? Oh, yeah. What'd you do? She was just having fun. Well, she was not. Apparently, she's quite difficult.

It's funny though that Chevy Chase, like no one who hated him showed up to do it. And he still comes off badly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah.

I mean, people do sit for it. God, who does? Akroyd. Murray. Beverly DeAngelo, who still looks great. Oh, my God. I'm going to spoil an overheard right now before we get to that because I'm just remembering this story about Beverly DeAngel. Beverly DeAngelo, for people who don't know the mom from the National Amphoons movies.

Ellen Griswold. Ellen Griswold. And also Al Pacino's longtime. Yes. Baby mama and partner, yes. And also. You still got a new baby mom of that guy. A wonderful, wonderful Patsy Klein and Cole Miner's daughter.

Yeah. Oh, sure. Oh, she's great in that. But friend of mine went to the Grove, which is like the Eaton Center or the, what is the big mall here? The. I don't know. Pacific Center. No, it's its own thing.

It's an outdoor mall is the Grove. Yeah. Like people who listen to podcasts have heard. Okay. So the Grove, big outdoor mall, indoor mall in L.A. And my friend went there once and he just saw Beverly DeAngelo in front of the fountain holding up her phone, her iPhone, just yelling, Does anyone know how to work this? Does anyone know how to work?

Just like, okay, I'm famous. I need help with my phone. Is there an Apple store there? Apparently, she wanted it faster than waiting in line for the genius part. She just wanted a fan to come. Yeah, that's cool. Oh, if I was there, I would have come. Yeah, I know.

My parents are always like that. And I'm like, I can't help you right now. I've got to help my. Beverly Gingold. Her mother, Beverly Gangello? No, I don't know. I didn't bury the lead. and my dad's Al Pacino.

Oh, congratulations. Oh, sorry. Oh, my God, I've got a little something in my throat. Dave, what's going on to you, my friend? Oh, you know, the last few weeks I haven't had much going on with me. But this week, so much. Do you want to talk about me cutting my own hair? Avatar 4-3.

I think we've got enough out of that. We got enough of that. A&W using... Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Or my hospital visit. I'm voting hospital visit?

Well, first of all. A&W. Well, so we do. Oh, okay. So there's a new, so long running joke on this show. And anytime anyone mentions the burger restaurant A&W. I say, what does A&W stand for? And I say hamburgers and woup beer.

Classic. It's a classic joke. Oh, that's adorable. From forever. And now there's a new ad from A&W. They did not. The whole commercial is, ever wonder what A&W stands for? No.

Somebody, somebody, you know, pilfered that. That is not parallel. And I have long said on the show that I didn't write that joke. That is a classic, like, corny joke. But I was joking when I said that. I did write that joke. Well, I'm sorry, that's their plausible deniability. Ask your friend who's the lawyer for the crown.

You don't have a case. You don't have a case, bitch. Sorry. Yeah, because they are Canadian, this, this A&W brand. Well, the least they could have, you know. They could have named a burger after you. They could have named the weird uncle burger. No.

The self-hirstyling burger. But they got that. They could call ketchup Schumka. They could call ketchup Schumka. Thank you. It's got some of the same ways. Is it Schumka or Shumka? Shumka. I say Shumka.

Ukrainian say Shumka. Oh, you're Ukrainian. Oh, I'm so sorry. The ancestral trauma that you must be going through. Well, it's been a while since my family was there. Yeah. But still. But, yeah. So, people have been agog, a gas. A lot of people send you notes.

Condolences. And the guy who says it, they say didn't nail the delivery. Which leads me to believe that it was Pilford. Yeah. I think there's a good case for it. I just wish that you hadn't said, well, I didn't come up with this because that's their cloud cover. Unfortunately, I really didn't. The joke is older than I am, I think.

Yeah. But I'm really kind of, I feel like I've shepherded into the 21st century. Absolutely. So that happened. But the other thing is I spent a while in the hospital. On Monday night, my daughter broke her arm. falling out of, well, she wasn't like a sleep in bed. She was just.

She bumped her head and fell out of bed. And she was there for some monkeys jumping on the bed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she, so we had to go to the hospital. And that was, there's like not a great, not much story to it. No. It was just a long time. But like how long?

It was a long time. Yeah, so she broke her arm at 820. She comes into my bedroom saying, I think I broke my arm. And I'm like, oh, if you. If you say so. How old is she? She's 11. Oh.

And I was like, I couldn't tell from the way she was holding it. And then I asked my wife to come and have a look. And she came up the stairs. And from below, she was like, oh, my God, you absolutely broke your arm. Now, this is arm break number two for Young Mark. No, she's broken a leg before. Oh, she broke a leg before. When she was one and a half, she broke her leg going down the slide with me.

Is she a stunt woman? Like, what is going on? David is just setting her up to be a stunt woman. I guess. And that one was when we went, when she was one and a half, the doctor was like, we looked at the x-rays. We can't, it might be broken, but it's hard to tell. And then they only knew it was broken when they looked at the x-ray a week later. And they said, oh, we can see it's healing.

So that's how we know it's broken. But it was just, but this time from the look of it, from that angle, I was like, okay. We went, so we broke it at 8.20. We were at the hospital by 8.30. It took us 30 minutes to get through triage. And showing the triage nurse, the nurse was like, And you, oh, that's broken arm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then from 9 o'clock until 2 a.m. We sat and waited. It was just a super full waiting room. And there's a website you can go to that says, like, wait times for hospitals. Well, it's about time. And it was saying 10 hours to see a doctor. And there are, that was children's hospital. There are other hospitals.

And then there's adults only, which is kind of... Yeah, there's the things you see. After dark. Yeah. It's mostly like, you know, whispering things to doctors about, look, I was doing this. If I can just one moment, I can remember back when I used to do clubs and an MC, any time that I would speak with, like, I'd be like, oh, what's your name? Oh, what do you do? If they were a medical professional, I'd ask what the craziest thing they'd ever seen stuffed up someone's ass was before.

Oh, sure. And because that's a big thing. And the craziest thing that someone said was once someone had, a guy had two croquet balls up his ass. And she asked why two. And he said, I thought the second one would get the first one out. Of course. A third one was just fun again. Fourth one trying to get that one out.

Well, I swallowed the second one to push the first one out. Yeah. So St. Paul says they are all ages. But I don't want to take my kid to St. Paul's at night. That's the one that's downtown. It could be rough and tough. Yeah, the times I've gone there, it's like a lot of, yeah, it was like the pit. Like the pit.

Yeah, but the children's hospital is like the pit babies. There you know. The pit junior. But they had, yeah, it's just a lot of crying kids, a lot of parents who don't know what's wrong with their kids because their kids are babies and can't talk. Yeah, yeah. And then us knowing exactly what the problem. problem was and just having to wait until we got a room at like three in the morning. They, three in the morning they gave us x-rays.

So you've been here six hours before they give you a room. Yeah, six, is this three, three a.m. X-rays. 3.30, we got the room. Four o'clock a doctor finally saw us and said, you're going to need your arm, your arm like reset, the bone reset, and you need to be put under for that. And we don't have people here to do that. So either we can do it. There's a chance we do it at 9 a.m.

Otherwise, it'll be 11 a.m. And then it was 11 a.m. And I was texting with Dave at this point, just because he told me that the episode was going to be late dropping. So I was just getting these updates until like midnight. And I just assumed you would have been alive. Then I was like, leave me a lot. And then Abby was home with our other daughter, took her to,

school at 9 a.m. And then she came and she had actually come right at like, she had followed us to the hospital and brought us a bag full of the flies. Especially your daughter driving the car. Yeah. With broken leg or broken arm. And so we, Margo got a bed and I got a chair.

And I think I slept 10 minutes that night. Sure. Yeah. Little cuck chair in the hospital. Yeah. And then. Yeah, and then they just like, they were like, okay, so we're going to give her ketamine. It was ketamine to put her under.

Oh, hell. Well. Yeah. She's just like, can we go to a warehouse party after this? And they said, we're going to give her ketamine because it'll put her under, but it, because she, where she's not prepped for surgery, she's not having surgery. She's having a procedure. Right. Uh, it's, it's a thing you can take that even when you're under you, if you throw up, you won't swallow it.

Huh. You're like, you still have that function. Okay. You won't aspirate or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Um, because, you know, you haven't fasted for however many hours you're supposed to fast. Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah.

Uh, and so they, uh, but they were like, okay, so we're going to, uh, bring you in there. Um, and do you want to be there for the actual? procedure as they're breaking your arm or like setting her arm. And just so you know, one of the side effects of ketamine is you are, you don't, you feel it. Like you know it's happening, but you're under and you won't remember any of it. So we get them to the point where they're like, uh, under. But if we're setting their bone, they're going to yell.

Mm, yes. In their, in their sleep. Do you want to stick around for that? No. Ooh. And so she's got four weeks in a cast. Which is great, you know, because all her friends can sign it. Uh-huh.

Yeah, it's an old school, like not one of those inflatable ones. It's like old-school plaster. Oh, are there inflatable ones? Yeah, there's sometimes you get like a- Not up to date with my cast technology. You can get like a boot for if you break your foot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's not plaster.

It's a, it's like foam, like, or no, like cotton that they wrap it in. Okay. And then they cover it in this tape that they dip in. water. Yeah, it looks like a craft. Yeah. And then it... The usual...

Well, then, okay, what I would recommend then is getting some Avery labels and then just having people write the things on that. Hello, my name is. And then just peeling them and sticking them to it. Smart. That's what I would do. Yeah. Well, I'm glad she's okay.

Yeah, but Avatar, I loved Avatar. The visual storytelling of this movie. Incredible. Like, I, you know, Game of Thrones. I watched four seasons of Game of Thrones. I didn't, I couldn't tell what was happening at all. Yeah. This, it's all blue people.

I know immediately what's happening. I can figure it out. He's so good with the frame. I wanted that kid to be. I didn't want him to die. I just wanted to. You're talking about Spider boy? Yeah.

Spider monkey boy? There's a human amongst the A. Oh, you can spoil it. Don't worry. And he's a little boy, white boy with dreads. Yeah. Well, he deserved to. That was kind of my thing.

I was like, just send him back. No. He's not the best actor. No. I would say he's the worst. Yeah. Yeah. And he, his name is Spider.

Yeah. But his girlfriend, Sigourney Weaver, calls him Monkey Boy. Who's also a member of his family? Yeah, I don't know. That's where I drew the line. Anyways, I get it being annoying. I enjoy it. Like, I still watched it.

Were you attracted to Verang? Not my type, but I can see it. She's not usually my type either. Is that Siggy? Siggy Weaver's character's name? Siggy is Kiri. Varang was the She's sort of a pagan

Sorcerous War lord Who's not usually my type And she's portrayed by Charlie Chaplin's granddaughter Oh Yeah Who was also in Game of Thrones

Yeah Yeah Oh okay And yeah Una Oprah Una yeah Well that's Uma That's true

That's true That's true And Traplin Yeah, I wonder I wonder how her pratfalls are If she could ride one of those old-fashioned bicycles Yeah Just hit an aid in her

And like you go to dinner with her Like don't do the fucking Don't do the rolls Okay, all right Una's doing another soft shoe We're just going to let her get this out of her system guys And she's always hanging out with Una Keaton who's having a house

fall on her. Una Keaton? Oh, Buster Keaton's Presumable. I was like, Diane Keaton's daughter? Yeah, I was kind of like, Michael Keaton's daughter. I'm trying to, uh,

Una Lloyd, who's hanging off of, sure, hanging off a clock. Well, I'm glad. Oh, and also Graham sent an edible arrangement this morning after.

Oh. Chocolate strawberries. Oh. Can't miss. Can't miss. And the hot dog flavor of water. Uh, yeah. So, uh,

Andrew, did you ever growing up or currently ever watch wrestling? When I was a lot younger. When you were younger. But I think that was four reasons that have since. But that's why I was like, maybe still to this day. I don't know.

I do follow a Toronto-based wrestler, but mainly for his butt. Yeah. These wrestlers have a great butt. I mean, following someone is a great way to see their butt. Yeah. His name is Channing Decker and, my goodness, got nothing on those heated rivalry twinks. Well, I, man, that heat of rivalry butt, the Russian guy's butt is like. Like the most notable butt.

I mean, that's that star of the show. That's why anyone watched it. I'm sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Don't be sorry. It's true. Oh, this is Channing Decker.

That's him wrestling. Oh, yeah. Okay. Wrestling with the package here. Ressle with the package is the subreddit. Yeah. He used to be a trainer at my gym, so I followed him. Oh, yeah.

He's got a nice butt. And I stick around because, damn. Yeah. Oh, yeah. No. Why are there so many but only pictures? Because. Because it's.

The camera loves it. It's a fantastic asset. But it looks like it was, they were all. taken at one event. Sure. No, that's his speedo. Oh,

that's just the, that's his wrestling speedo. But don't these all look like the same kind of lighting and well, maybe they are. But I mean, this is also Google, right? So,

yeah. So they're probably all from the same. Threat. Photo shoot. Yeah. So every year in professional wrestling, there's an event called the Royal Rumble. Oh, yes.

Yeah. So, yeah, it's a friend of mine. Is this the one where they all, everyone wrestles one big match. Yeah, so it starts with one person in the ring and then at intervals a new wrestler. What is the one person do in the ring by themselves? Just pose, a lot of this, a lot of muscles up, lots of pointing at the crowd.

It's conserving energy. You know, it's going to be a long day. And one comes in every minute, two minutes? Every two minutes. So this is a gang bang. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And it's really fun to watch, even if you don't watch wrestling, because you get it. You get it. Okay. This guy comes out, he's this guy. And in he goes and you get tossed over the top rope, you're out. Okay. Can you get pinned or do you have to get tossed? You got a toss and your feet have to touch the ground and that means that you're out.

So there's a whole women's one and the men's one. And Pasker's cow fund holds a yearly Royal Rumble party where we watch and gamble on the outcomes of the- Is the Royal Rumble always the same time? Like was it a Saturday? Yeah, although because it was in Riyadh, it was on at 11 in the morning. They showed up at 11 in the morning. And Bill Burr and Kevin Hart opened up. Whitney Cummings opened the match.

Did, is it always like, was it this past weekend? Yeah. Maybe it's the week, you know, before the Super Bowl. Yeah. That's when they do the Grammys as well. That's true. Yeah, busy time of year. But the, so it's a fun, it's fun to watch.

For the most part, the people there don't know, and myself included, don't know who's who. You get a little bit from when they walk out, you're like, that's a good guy. How many wrestling do you watch a year? Probably just that. Oh, okay. Yeah. Who are some names? Who are the big names in wrestling now?

So there's Cody Rhodes, son of Dusty Roads. Do you remember from being a youth? He was a guy big. Gold Dusty Roads rings. Was he related to gold dust? Yeah, they're all there. I think he might have been Gold. Dust and now he's Cody Rhodes.

Oh, he's... How old would he be then? Maybe it's not him. Maybe it was his brother. Because Gold Dust was an adult when I was like that. What a dynasty. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. So there's, uh, there's him. Um, Charlotte Flair, who's Rick Flair's daughter. She's in it. Do they wrestle? No. Women. No, no.

It's not co-ed. Yeah. Um. And in Riyadh. They're cold. So this is all Nepo. This is just Nepo baby. Well, you know, if it's in the fan.

Rock's a, uh, uh, Nepo. His dad was a wrestler. And from Halifax. Oh, really? Did you know that Dwayne Johnson could get his Canadian citizenship tomorrow? Yeah, his father, Rocky is from Halifax. I know he played football on the Calgary Stampeders and was cut. And now he's the rock.

Okay, there you go. Yeah. But so like I say, you don't need to know anything to follow it. It's a lot of fun. And they had kind of bet draw numbers out of a hat. Those are your two competitors. Oh, so you bet on it. Yeah.

And you draw numbers. You don't just pick your favorite? No, yeah, because everybody would pick the same people. So you get, I'm number one and I'm number 16. And then you track where your person is. Who were you? Who was the favorite? I don't know.

I really don't know. I know that. Was it Emma Stone? Emma Stone was there. Her work looks great. It's got to be careful, though. You don't know who the favorite was. Not really.

Okay. But there's always. Like clockwork, they always bring back on old wrestler For a quick moment in the sun Brock Lesnar was the guy they brought in. Giant, you know, Brock Lesnar? No. He looks like a truck that's had skin pulled over it.

Like, he does look like a trapezoid. How's the ass? Huh? How's the ass? Nah, nothing to report. Like, I mean, who are the fattest asses in wrestling? That's more to the point. I don't know.

I'm trying to picture from like the era that I kind of stopped watching it. I don't think Stone Cold Steve Austin had much of a butt. The Rock's got a good butt. It's athletic. People were less butt focused as a culture. Very true. It's like they only invented deadlifts a decade ago. Yeah.

Well, it's also like, you know, I guess this sort of makes a lot like to big buds. Yeah, the natural ones. Yeah, but before like J-Lo, butts weren't really a celebrity thing. They were not. No, two words. Paris Hilton and a number 2006. Look at that silhouette. Did she get a new butt?

No, it's just, you know, she was just, it was just a coat hanger. It was just like, yeah, yeah, just straight back. Shape was not in. It was really, it was really the Kardashians that brought that in. I just saw this very, very. And we owe them so much. Yeah, we really do. But, I mean, well, they are all BBLs, and I'm sure that you know what a BBL is.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So it's redistribution of fan. It's the Brazilian butt left. Yeah, I know. I've had one. And you guys never noticed.

So that's fine. I'm sorry I wasn't there for your party. It's a redistribution of fat. Yes. Do they take it out and put it back then? They would be taking it out of your like stomach, thighs, just any problem areas and going right into your ass. So you only, and because it's a redistribution, those fat cells, they don't, it's,

lipo just sucks out fat cells where the existent ones just get bigger. But because they're redistributed, your body is just like, well, they're still there. So we're just going to keep on putting the fat there, but now it's just in your ass. Brazilian scientist. It grows. Yes. Ah. Yeah, it just all goes to the ass.

Now, there are a lot of issues with it. Sure. Not everyone goes off without a hitch. In fact, more often than not, there's problems. But now, though, you've got basically shapeware, like, from skims. Is that ring about? Yeah. I just saw this girl the other day make, like, a video where she's like, I'm going to try the new skim thing.

And before and after, and she puts it on, she's very rethin. She puts it on, and it's just all padded and stuff. And I'm like, so this is drag. So now just running on. doing drag. Yeah. So women are just, you are just wearing a Kardashian brand.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, you know, like I say, not, not any notable butts,

but, but, cowboy butts drive you nuts. Is that right? Is there another verse to that? I think it's just a bumper sticker. Is that a Shania Twain song? It's just a,

it's as bad as your butt in under it. I think it's a bumper sticker. How boy butts drive me nuts. I need to get one while I'm in town. If anyone knows. I thought in Calgary, you would have seen that. No.

The big bumper sticker there was I love Alberta Beef. Oh, I get it. Hey, I get it. You got that. Sorry. Go on about wrestling. So anyways, my first three, first one gets knocked out immediately. Goes in over the rope.

How many people at this event? Sorry, how many guests at the party and how many people ultimately in the Royal Rumble? There was probably 15 of us at the party. And then I don't know how many, 20, maybe 20 wrestlers overall. So my first just got thrown out right away. My second did well, but then near the end of the match. Over she goes. Same with the first one.

Just in the women. This is the women's. Then the men start actually, there's like a couple wrestling matches in between the two that I felt like are like when the kids get to play hockey at a half time. Oh. This is just like, I'll let these two wrestlers. Yeah, there's a little Timbitts hockey for you.

Yeah. And then this guy comes in, he's Mr. Famous. He's the biggest guy in lead. Roman Reins. He's got a good butt. Okay. I'll be the judge of that. Putting his glasses on.

How do you spell rains? Oh, yeah. Why do I even bother? Roman Reins, but... He could wear a different outfit. Yeah. Oh, no. That's doing...

I mean, it's good, but that's doing nothing for it. No, he's wearing cargo pants. Yeah, it's hard to tell. It's hard to get it. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I think he works out. Yeah. Okay. There it is. We found a photo that does it justice. Yeah, this is also from R slash wrestle with the package. Oh, R slash wrestle with the package. I'm just going to just check out R slash wrestle with a package.

Oh, my God. Why is it so zoomed in? I mean, these guys have to know that, yeah. Like, are these guys surprised the Reddit Threads like this exist? Do you think these wrestlers? Oh, God, no. Someone's objectifying me? What do you kidding?

They're on, they're on display. Well, I would think so, right? Probably check this as their homepage. Oh, Ricky Stark's there. Ricky Starks is fucking giving some case. This is from user, uh, wrestle with the assets. Mm-hmm. Ressle with the assets.

Okay, boys. Oh, wow. Oh, this is, this is. All right, all right. Let's all let's all let's, uh, back to the show. Yes. Yeah. This is getting very spicy.

Inwalk's Roman Raines. Woo. Favorite. He's second, I think he's second last to enter. No fair. If he's the favorite. Yeah, but they, I figured they're doing the favorite.

He's going to get tossed out. And that it's going to be the crowning of a new champ. And who did you have in your ticket? Roman Reigns. Okay. Yeah. So he comes in. Cleans House.

That's just him and this really odd-looking guy. And I was like, I don't think that odd-looking guy is going to win it all. He doesn't. Roman Rain wins. I win the pops. Terrific. How much? At the end of it, all, it was like 300 bucks.

Whoa. Wow. Not bad. That's a lot of chocolate cover strawberry. Exactly. That's a lot of stuff. That's a lot of edible arrangement. A lot of arrangements edible and otherwise. You can care with that. Anyways, that's my one gambling win. How long of an event is it? Are you there all day? Yeah, we're there. Start at 11. Oh, right. And so we were there until like four in the afternoon. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it was fun. But yeah, the 11 o'clock thing really threw us off because it usually starts at like four.

Oh, I'm all about that. Yeah. More things in Riyadh, right? Yes. My name's Riyadh. Well, I think your wish will be granted. I'm a big matinee movie guy. Yeah, that's true. The avatar I saw was an 1110 show. You love it. I really do like about West Coast Life is a 5 p.m. award show.

Yeah. That's very elegant. You still got your night to do whatever you like. It's just whenever I, you know, it's like the Oscars are over and it's 8.15 p.m. Well, the night is young and so are we? It's just a very, that. So, oh, it's wonderful. Do you guys want to move on to some overheards?

Sure. Well, folks, that means it's time. Well, you know what it means is we made a mistake and it's not going to be overhirts just yet. It's going to be a bit of business. And the way we like to do business here is we have a thing called the Jumbotron. And you can send a message into the Jumbotron and you can say, hey, Jumbotron, have Dave and Graham read my message on the show. And this is a short but sweet one. This is for Madeline from Evan.

Happy birthday, Madeline. Relax and enjoy your night. X's and O's bear. Oh, so that's their, uh... It's his pet name. Yeah, yeah. And X's and O's is a reference to the song by Rob Schneider's daughter. That was Rob Schneider's daughter?

Yeah. I didn't know that. El King. Right. Wow. So if you would like a message on the Jumbotron, go to Maximum. Maximumfun.org. Slashemotron.

Now to the overheard. Hi, I am Jordan Cruciala, and I host Feeling Seen. I'm here with Maximum Fun member of the month, Khalil Goodman. Hi, Khalil. Hi, Jordan. Thank you for having me. So great to see you.

I gotta know what's made you feel seen. I figure you've thought about this if you've listened to the show a bunch. I read X-Men when I was six. When you're a kid who makes art, which I am, and you're a queer kid. Like, there's this feeling of like something is doing. different, but you don't know what it is. Yeah.

You can be different, but it can be a superpower. What would you say to others who might be considering supporting the show? What would be your sales pitch to them? If you love this thing, if you are getting all of this joy and comfort from this thing, make sure that this thing that you like will continue. Thank you so much, Khalil, for taking the time to talk to me today. And for listening to the show, my God, it means a lot to just know people are really listening and valuing what they're hearing.

Thank you so much. Become a maximum fun member now at maximum fun.org slash join. If you want to know what's going on in the world of movies, you should be listening to Maximum Film so we can tell you all about it. Okay, but what if you already know what's going on in the world of movies? What if you're kind of obsessed with movies? Like, maybe you have a problem? Well, then you should definitely be listening to Maximum Film,

because we too have that problem, and it's important you know you're not alone. We're talking indies you'll want to seek out. Blockbusters and blockbusting wannabes. Classics we can't get enough of. I'm comedian and writer Kevin Avery. I'm film critic Alonzo Duraldi. I'm festival programmer and producer Drea Clark. Together, we're Maximum Film.

Smart about movies in Hollywood, so you don't have to be. But if you already are, that's also great. And hey, we see you. New episodes every week on maximum fun.org. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment on the show where we overhear things so you can overhear things. If you want to send one in by email, you can send in SBIY at Maximumfund.org.

We always like to start with the guest. Andrew, do you have an overhear? I'm going to, this might be misunderstanding the assignment a little bit, but the other day I was at yoga, and the studio that I practiced at in L.A., predominantly female, as I think a lot of the studios are. So I was one of two men in the class. Afterwards, I'd go out where the lockers are, and the lone other guy in there, who's a little skewing older than more male client tell there.

He would have been in his 50s or something. He says, oh, Jesus Christ, I'm going to be screaming her name in bed tomorrow morning. Thinking, I guess that I would be down for that. I'm, you know, I'm a fucking exploding purse factory in person. But if I don't open my mouth and I'm just going about my business, you know, maybe you're not going to clock me one way or another. But I was just like, girl, not my thing. But it reminded me just in terms of like straight men trying to relate with queer people, I'm friendly with this lesbian couple in L.A. who live in Baldwin Hills, which is, you know, Tony-esque neighborhood, very residential. But, you know, their boys, their twins were on the same softball league as Don Johnson's second family.

Oh, okay. So their kids were around the same age. And so Dawn would go there. And I think the butcher of the two, I think, was the coach. And the baker and the candle. The baker were there as well. The more butch one, you understand what I'm saying there. And so she's there watching the game, and he comes up to her, like, settles up beside her, and he's just like, oh, fuck, look at the tits on her, you know? Like, hon, like, hon, like, because she's the more sort of butch one, she'd be like, oh, fuck yeah. And she was just like, oh, Jesus Christ. And so, like, Dawn, but this is Don Johnson trying to relate.

So that's just the thing that if you were ever trying to relate to a lesbian and they don't objectify women in the same way. Okay. Good to know. This is good to know. Miami Vice. Did you go, did you ever do yoga in a class? I went on a couple dates with a woman going to yoga and then I just, this is the thing.

If somebody tells me, like, physically, like, just do this and this and this. I can't comprehend. Like, I'm like, what is it? Like, it takes me so long to learn any of that kind of stuff because my body just doesn't cooperate. Was the teacher not demonstrating? She was demonstrating, but I became her, like, special project all time, and I was like, this sucks. That's not, that wouldn't happen in my studio. No?

No. I would get back into it. I'd try, but it's like, like, I go to a gym where I lift weights, and I have to still be shown, like, this is how the proper way to do it. I just, my hand-eye coordination, absolute shit. Okay. Interesting. I used to do yoga in a studio, and I would go, like, when I first started, it was because I was playing, I had just, picked up playing hockey again and my hips were killing me and I was like you do yoga you should do yoga

and so I went and I was like I'm gonna be the worst of this I'm I'll just sit in the back so no one notices me and then I quickly learned don't sit in the back because everyone thinks you're looking at everyone's nuts yeah because you're the only guy there yeah but you don't want to sit up front but now then I would just sit up front I mean that comes with the territory ladies I'm sorry like like like then fucking you know put on some sweatpants or something like that if you don't Like, girl. Like, no, they know what they're doing. I'm sorry.

Anyway. So then I was teacher's bet at front of the class. Nice. Brought an apple every time. Dave, do you have an over? Well, speaking of hockey, I, my weekly hockey game or twice weekly hockey game, running out of pucks. Now, like two weeks ago, how many goals did you score?

I'm, since Christmas, I'm on a bit of a streak. Yeah. I've scored in every game, sometimes two, sometimes three. Sometimes three, yeah. But I, we lose pucks over the boards or sometimes no one picks up the bucket of pucks of the end. So would you say someone was all out of pucks to give? Would I say that? Yeah.

I'm certainly, you know, certainly trying to score points with my fellow. We play a big pun team. Oh, yeah, yeah. The showers afterwards must have been lit. And I was like, you know what I'll do? I'll go get a, I've done this in the past. Go get a batch of pucks. Keep some in my bag.

when we run out, I'll replenish the bucket. So I went to a hockey store in town. I won't name names. There were two people behind the counter, two like 20-year-old guys. I said to one of them, hey, I'm looking for some pucks, and he goes, hockey pucks? What, toilet pucks? That's the other type of puck. That's true.

Where do the pucks go? Just like into the sea? They go over the glass, and then no one goes and gets them after. the game. Does someone not sweep up weekly? No. And perhaps. And there's,

you go back to the dress room and then you go have a beer. And so you're, and you don't want to be the guy collecting bucks. And then some, someone does collect pucks and puts, you know, there's other teams that play and they, or if you leave the bucket of pucks,

if someone doesn't remember to bring the bucket of pucks, a team, some other team is going to steal that bucket and grab 20 bucks. I imagine the guy that has to pick up the pucks doesn't know that that's his role on the team until they shut up the first time. Wow. Can I ask one question about the vibe of hockey these days? Has he to referee changed the dynamic? No.

Is that front of mind now? Not among the 50-year-old white people I play with. Okay. So I'm at the store. I'm going to buy 20 hockey pucks. Yeah. I say, can I have 20 hockey pucks? And he says, the guy turns to the other person behind the counter and says,

do we have pucks? And the guy says, no, we're sold out. Really? I'm not surprised because you guys go through them like turlet paper. We're sold out. It's really embarrassing is what the other guy said. Yeah, it's a hockey store. And I'm like, oh, oh, weird.

Yeah, okay. Well, no worries. I'll get them somewhere else. And as I'm leaving, I heard the two guys keep talking. He said, dude, when did we run out of pucks? Months ago. So apparently it's an epidemic. Yeah.

Well, I'm not surprised. I mean, these are, these should be ostensibly saved. I did not know this. This is something where it's like you learn something new every day, and I fucking have. I did not know that like pox were just, you're not going to get the pox. And it's not the kind of thing where it's like, you know, you play tennis. Eventually your tennis balls are going to lose their bounciness. And their fuzziness.

Do they lose their fuzziness? Yeah. And you don't let your dogs chew them either. They're bad for their teeth. And they're bad for the ball. Pucks cannot be terribly biodegradable. They look like maybe they're recycled with electric waste, but. Yeah.

I always picture them as the same material that they make cars out. I think they're mostly made in, they're vulcanized. Okay. Oh, yeah, not cars. Wheels on cars. Yeah. They go around around. No, that's wheels on a bus.

That's west. So the cars are triangular. And they, yeah, they think they're mostly, the ones I've seen are made in Slovakia. Okay. You want that Slovakia. Yeah, absolutely. That's where that fugitive Toronto couple fled to. Well, Slovakia.

Yeah, Chavarpo. Chavag, but he is Slovakian. So that's why they got their EU. Anyway, fled to the EU. Also, why are they, when did it become Czechia? Have you seen this? Have you noticed this? You've been hearing about this?

Yeah. So that's what's going on overheardwise over here. And how about you? Mine falls in the kind of the same category of I was involved with the overheard itself. And I habitually chew chewing gum, like all the time. You're a chain chrieg. Chained sure because I used to smoke. That's how I was able to quit.

So I was going to, like, London drugs, which you don't have out east. You know what? You are you familiar with the Londoners? I've heard of it, but no, we don't have in Ontario. Because it's like pharmacy, then kind of, et cetera. Electronics store, photo developing. Yeah. And so they sell gum in like in a four pack.

So I went there and the cupboard was bare. There was no gum of any kind. And there was a woman moving gummy things from there Just so they didn't have an empty shelf And I went up to her and I was like Hey, where do you guys put the gum? And she said, no gum. And then I was like, no gum?

And she was like, no gum. And I said, huh, no gum? We did a real Larry David. Well, I'm sorry, my forest for the trees take about this is You've got some real supply chain. Yeah, there's some real in terms of things. Gum, pucks, pucks, gum. Rubbery things in general.

Yeah. So we're having a huge spike in. gonorrhea. I'm not surprised. And also, duly noted, I will be having to swab before. Yeah. If you ever go to the Yukon, they had a crazy outbreak of gonorrhea. And it was like posted in bathrooms everywhere you were.

You know, I don't foresee that being an issue for me. No gold rush. For me. What are the dating apps like in Vancouver? No, in, uh, in, uh, You caught. Well, I'll tell you what. I did, the farthest north I've been is Timmons, Ontario.

You know, let's go girls. On her home town. Yeah, and I'll tell you this. Doing a show there, you think, oh, I'm going to have so many fucking Shania Twain bangers and they're just going to fucking, oh, they're going to lose their mind. They all hate her. Yeah. She opened a museum and center, the Shania Twain Museum and Center that took all the civic dollars

thinking like this was going to be like a hotspot and like not bankrupted the city, but like she didn't even come for the opening. Like she was just like, well. Oh, whatever. Like, people just like, I don't know, here's like, I don't know, here's like a pair of jeans I wore. Like, what? People will just come and see that. Yes, I'll donate my jeans.

Maybe a vest I have. Use some boots, put them under a bed. Yeah, well, put them under. Exactly. Exactly. And that's literally. And so it closed, but it sort of, you know, it was a big financial hardship for the town. And so I do remember going on grinder and the tile, like my grinder tile, like,

nine down was like someone who was like in Sudbury. Like it was not A bit of a drive More than a bit of a drive Yeah Well the craziest thing Was when I went to Cuba Years ago

And I was in Holkeem Which is on the sort of Eastern side of the island And on my fucking grinder The closest guys were at Gitmo Really? Yeah Oh shit

Closest guys were at Guantanamo Bay Did you have your pick? So, well no I mean It was too far to go Yeah Fair I would have needed to be detained

Do something to actually warrant detention You know, maybe Gina Davis in League of Their Own wasn't my most recent crush. Maybe it was Shania Twain in the video where she's, that don't impress me much? No. The first one? No.

The later. Party for two with Mark McGrath. The way you want. Okay. Yeah. She's got very good makeup. Well, when she first came around, she was like a good beat. He was like belly shirt and you're just like,

oh, you know why he's going to be famous. You're not in it for love. I'm out of here in the video. Yeah. Haba. Haba. You're in here. Yeah.

You are in it for love and you are in here, bitch. Yeah. Now, we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the globe. If you want to send it in, send it into SPY at maximum fund. org. This first one comes from Claire from Cambridge, Ontario. I've ever played on Cambridge, Ontario? Yes, I have.

What was it? Yes, I have. believe it was, it was like a community rec center and they were doing a gig, a benefit to install defibrillators on a soccer field because a little boy got a heart attack. And I'm like, yes, this is a very universal problem. They absolutely need defibrillators on this field, not to diminish that. And so the parents come on and tearfully do a tribute. And then, of course, I come on and just eat absolute shit. Now, to my credit, or I mean, to their credit as well, I did say, Now, are there no people of color here because of the demographic makeup of Cambridge, or is this just a whites only venue?

And they hated that? Why did they hate that? Yeah, it was not good. It was not good. Yeah. So I was at a restaurant and overheard a conversation at the table next to me. When talking about his adult son, the one guy said, he tried to be himself. He tried like five minutes.

But now he's going to be the largest, gooniest actuary. ever. Well, that's a perfect job for an autistic person. Yeah. Well, he didn't say autistic. Oh. What did he say? Gooniest, largest gooniest.

What did it start with? Sorry, it was in Cambridge, Ontario. Yeah. Overheard of conversation. Table next to me when talking about his adult son, the one guy said, blah, blah, blah. Oh. Be the largest gooniest.

Never mind. Well, he sounds like a lot of fun. He does sound like a lot of fun. He does sound like a lot of fun. Huming actuary? What is an actuary do? What is guni? Insurance.

is goony. Well, I consider Gooney probably different than she considers Gooney. I consider like a gooner, like a baiter. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's what I would do with my one minute in the ring by myself. Man, oh man, if you had a whole day off and that's all you did during the day, man, that's work. It's just like a gooner who's just like kind of like edging to the point that his eyes crossed. And so, well, then he would not be a very effective actuary because he would need your mind on the money, bitch. Yeah. That's why he's the gooniest. He's not going to last. No, he is going to last. That's true.

He's good. This next one next, this next one comes from Catherine in Chicago. I was driving on the highway behind a car that had two bumper stickers on it. The first sticker said, student driver, please be patient. The second sticker said, how's my driving? Call 1-800 fuck off. That's good. That's funny.

It's good. I saw one the other day that said, how's my crying? That's good. Yeah. But I had a phone number. A bumper sticker? Yeah. Oh, God.

Do you, when you lived in Toronto, you were driver or just transit? I can't drive. No, you don't? No, I don't drive at all. Okay. That's hard in L.A., though. It's not. It would be if I needed to go somewhere everywhere.

Like every day, but no, I mean, everything is just, I go from bed to desk, basically. And no, it's very, it saves a lot of money, actually, not having a car. Yeah. Like all of my Ubers, I think last year were less than $1,000. And insurance would be like $5,000. Yeah, I remember being in L.A. and just like driving by a bar and being like,

oh, everyone's driving drunk home, aren't they? It's also a factory town. Like, everybody's got to be up at like four in the morning. The factory is fucking closed. I'll tell you that. So I'm not sure how much of a factory town. Well, no, people aren't going out.

That's the issue. But it's Uber and Lyft and Waymo has made a big thing. The robot taxes. Have you been in one? I sure the fuck have. Wow. Do you know what these cream? I've heard of them.

They're great. They don't go everywhere. and you wouldn't want them to go everywhere. You would not want to take one to the airport or something. Like, they won't go on the freeway, and they shouldn't. But if you were just going somewhere and you don't need to be there pressingly, like because it will weave through side streets and stuff, it's basically just a private party bus. Really?

Because there's no driver. You play your own music. You can bring, you know, you might. If you were this kind of a person, you might bring, you know, one for the road. Sure. And just have a time. Is there a steering wheel? But you're not allowed to...

It's like one of those self-playing pianos. Yeah. Like you would see, like, do-do-d-do-do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. Maybe I haven't looked. Okay. I should next time. Well, you can pronounce the L in that. I should.

I was like, I shall next time. I went for a shall or should. But they should have an animatronic that talks to you that says, you know, where too mad. Yeah, is it like, follow that guy. The big thing is you need to wait for, like, where as a human driver, you'd be like, Hi, I'm right here. You don't need to go to here.

But the Waymo will need to go to the actual pickup point and wait until it to come to a complete stop. I don't really know the logistics of like, I'm going to bar for, I have like a problem. I need to get out of the car. I really don't like. So it would be you'd be a little trapped. Yeah. And it really couldn't go to a busy place because like I think that like thoroughfares are kind of blocked off because otherwise it's like, no, it can't drop you off on the side of a. I'm, oh boy, I hope someone gets dropped off at the Oscars.

Red carpeted. Oh. Robert. I'm sure some of them will, like, take it to, like, meet a limo and then just go around the block or something like that. But it would make perfect sense. No small talk. Yeah. You know.

What are you nominated for? Yes, exactly. Oh, my God. No, nothing good. Editing. Just like, excuse me, I ordered a quiet and like an Uber quiet. Turn the volume. Uber Lux.

I specified quiet, no conversation. This last one comes from Sarah. 8 from Bendigo, Australia. Oh. Today I was sitting at an outdoor table at a cafe when a mother and her son walked past. I would say the kid was about 8 or so. They were walking, but all I caught was the mom saying, you don't have diabetes.

You have to stop saying that. Oh, my God. I love that. That is so funny. And also, Australia would have been like, you have diabetes. You've got to stop sign there. You die. I'm glad that we have a guess that does it.

Yeah. Because it is perfect. You do not. You don't got type one, type two. You die in diabetes. You don't need insulin. Love you, Australia. Love everyone down under.

Now, in addition to overhears that are written, and we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos. Send us a voice memo recorded on your phone and email it to SPY at maximum fun. or call us at 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh, SpyPod 1 like these people have. Hello, hello, hello. My name is Lloyd from England. I live in Farnborough. I'm a welder, and I work in a very blokey environment where they're all fucking, you know, they're all blocs, they're all fucking, and as I was walking to work one morning, two people were having a roly, a cigarette, I won't use the word that we usually use, outside the front. And one of them was like,

Oh, bloody hell last night, fucking foxes, screaming their heads off, don't know what the hell they were up to. And the other one took a big old toke of his cigarette, and he went, having sex. And that made me laugh. All right. Oh, Ivan! Just coming!

All right, I've got to go. Right. That is a trattie, if ever I ever heard one. I loved you in Oasis, boo. Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, what do you suppose he's welding? Haven six.

Oh, I'm going to do that tonight when I have my post show, libational cigarette or whatever. Oh, libational. Well, I'll have the occasional one. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Occasional. You got to have it.

I'll have a libation and a cigarette. Yes. Nice. Okay. What is, what's the smoking stitch down, like down in L.A.? Do you want to know something? I always say, like, I only smoke Canadian cigarettes because they're good for you. you. I always just grab a carton of Belmont's and that will like last me for the year,

basically. Yeah, but no otherwise. Oh, American Spirit. No, thanks. What about Marlboro's? The classic? No. No, fair enough. Ammels? No, I like Belmont's because I'm someone who will kind of like, I'll have a night where I'll smoke like five or ten. I'll have my like little human ash tray nights and that I won't smoke for like three weeks and you don't cough up. Like your lungs don't do that thing where if you don't smoke other things. Like, I'm not like, like those little, you know, quitting smoking coughs. And so Belmont's are the one thing that are, yeah. I remember when I was in Vancouver years ago, I was playing that club.

Someone's birthday. She was like some wellness person or something. She was turning 50. She looked fantastic. And I was like, what is your secret? And she's like, everything in moderation, including moderation. Right. And she's, love it.

And she smoked? I think that she did. Well, I think she did drugs. I think that was. That's her moderation. Like sometimes she'll do a little binge, but like otherwise she's like mostly plant-based and, you know, but you know, every once in a while. Most drugs are plant-based. Sure.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, except the ones built in a lab. What are you doing? Yeah. I don't want ketamine. But even then, they're not meat. True.

All right, here we go. Hey, Dave and Graham. Impossible guest. This is Jessica calling in from Kansas City, Missouri with an overheard. from my childhood on the most recent episode you guys were talking about pawn shops and it reminded me of my dad growing up as a jeweler and he had a lot of friends that worked at pawn shops because a lot of jewelry goes through pawn shops and so one time he told me a story about how one of the friends at the pawn shop had um bought a mummy from somebody that was a little bit of

I was looking to, I guess, pawn a mummy. So for years of this, mummy just sat in a local pawn shop, which just seemed so wild to me. Well, off I go. Oh, my God. And then at the end, well,

well, a mummified human being. Just like, does anyone want to buy this? Right next to the guitars or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I knew that pawn shops were like, you know, facades for fences, but, oh. Yeah. Now they're just like actual corpses.

Yeah. But you know what? Missouri. Yeah. Right. So was it, it's pawn stars. They would always have like,

oh, let me bring on my guitar expert who was going to tell you about. Yeah, let me get to my mummy guy. Yeah, let me go. Indiana Joe. They better be Egyptian. Brandon Fraser's going to come on.

Oh my God. And here's your final one. Hey, this is gay from Baltimore. Was an overheard. I was walking on the street just a few minutes ago. It was real snowy and cold here in windy. And a couple guys were walking the opposite way on the other side of the street on the sidewalk.

I heard one of them said to the other guy. Yeah. My grandfather was a hatter. So we always grew up wearing hats. No freaking way, man. It was just a family business. Yeah. A hatter.

Yeah, he was a hatter. Yeah, he was a hatter. That's right. Hatter does it. That's not the right word. Well, no. You're thinking about Alice in Wonderland. Yeah. Maybe he was mad. Yeah, maybe. Is it a haberdasher? Sounds more like he was sad, but.

Yeah. Haberdasherry. Yeah. But a haberdasherry is a, like a store that sells, like, people think hats, but I think it's just like little men's things. I'm sorry. Please cut this out so I don't sound like an idiot too late. Milliner. Milliner. Milliner. Thank you. You don't sound like an idiot.

There is a Bruce Valanche. We know Bruce Branch. I'm just going to leave you this. Bruce. This analogy. In his book, he talks about working with Alexis Smith on a musical called Platinum. This is in the 60s. She does some performance on some show, whatever. She's on one of those, like, deluxe trains across country. And she finds out that Joan Crawford is also on the same one. And they go, they stop in a hotel for like a night just to break up the travels. And she gets word that Miss Crawford would like to see you tonight. We know Joan Crawford, right? The famous movie star. So Alexis Smith goes up there. They're into, knocks on the door, Joan Crawford's, and then Bo says, yeah, she's just, she's in the bath, in the bathtub. She'd like to see you in the bathtub. She goes in, Joan Crawford is in a bubble bath with, like, glass of vodka. And she's wearing this ornate, like, Philip Tracy-esque, like, hat, like, with, like, a veil and cherry embellishments, but otherwise nude in the bathtub. Just wearing a fancy.

And she says, she's just like, Miss Crawford, you, I don't know if you know this, but you forgot to take your hat off before you got into the bath. And Joan Crawford just takes a swig of her vodka. And she goes, a great lady never bathes without her millinery. And so that's where I was like, oh, I better come correct with this millinery. Wow. Yeah. There's like an Instagram account that I see all the time. It's a guy making, like, hats that, like, rock and roll guys would wear.

And watching him do it is so satisfied. What does that mean? Like, top hats? No, like, I mean, that would be. Like a slash? Not, no, or more like, or maybe a wide brim. Like a modern Vegas magician would wear.

Not, no, more like guys that you'd see at like a music festival, like kind of a wide brim hat. Oh, yeah. Like an oversized kind of. So not a rocker, but maybe more like stomp-clap bands. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he makes it and like a lot of them want them to be worn in a bit. So he like does, fire all over it. It's really satisfying. I mean, the hats are always like, oh, is that your ASMR? Oh, sure. Watching a hat get made?

Why not? Do you remember growing up in Canadian history how, like, a huge industry at the start of this country was beaver hats sent back to England? Yeah. Because that was just like largely why the land was taken. Yeah. Canada was like, well, what can we do there? Well, we can make some beaver hats.

And that'll lead our country to glory. And it did. And it did. Oh, my God. Andrew, thank you so much for being in us. Thank you. Thank you, too. It's so great to be here.

You have, what do you have coming up that people can, where can they find you? What do you have coming up? Yeah, just go to my IG, Andrew Bronston. And if you're in L.A., I co-host a weekly there. I'm there most of the month called Super Bloom at the Illusion. And otherwise, fuck all, Graham. Fuck all. Yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm just, you know, just doing fucking shit.

You can watch my videos. Sure. I know, who cares? Whatever. What a terrible time to be alive. God. In this business, it really is. My God, it will all get figured out in a decade.

I'm sure it will be great then. But, oh, right now it's bleak, baby. Or it'll be much worse. Well, yeah, right. Yeah, but. Or you'll look back on this and be like, hi. The way people look back at 2060. Yeah.

It'll be much worse. Well, it is like a thing where I'm just like, I have my oath ceremony, as I was saying. I believe this is coming out. Yeah, after that. Oh, you told this off the air. Yeah. You're becoming an American. I'm becoming a duel, a duly.

And then, so once I have some free speech ostensibly, then we'll see. And I keep on saying that I'm going to get into the outrage game and I'm going to be Mandus Owens hosting the Fagrant podcast on the Prove Me Right tour. And then there was something else, some other enjoy, because that's where it is right now. I mean, it is podcast. It is cultivating parisocial. relationships and I bow to the two queens. Sure.

I've been doing this since 2008. My God. Yeah. And let's keep things parisocial out there, guys. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being there, I guess. And anybody out there that lives in Toronto, I will be putting on a show on March 14th at the Comedy Board Danforth. Oh, my God.

That's a Saturday. It's going to be a fun show. I think it's going to be Instagram. I haven't decided yet, but it's going to be, regardless, it'll be. Me, it'll be guest. It'll be fun. March 14th is 314. That's Pie Day, Graham.

You should do your classic math show. Yeah, I'm going to do math and then desserts. It's the best pie show and town. So thank you very much for being our guest. Thank you everybody out there for listening. If you wear a hat in the bat, make sure that you take it off before you do a rinse. Come on back next week for an episode of a podcasting yourself.

Maximum Fun A worker-owned network Of artist-owned shows Supported directly By you