Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 936 - Bita Joudaki

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

Comedian Bita Joudaki returns to talk eggs, halftime shows, and the Museum of Failures. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody, and welcome to episode number 9.36. I'm not going to podcasting yourself. My name's Graham Clark. And with me, as always, is even though it's probably over by now, is wrapped up in Olympic fever.

Dave Schumka. It's over. Ah, who won? Norway. Norway. Fuck. I had all my money on the one person from, let's say, Egypt. Yeah.

Norway is also what an Australian person says when they can't believe you. That's right. I can't do an Australian accent off, but I just know, like, they say like, gnar instead of no, but that's the only thing I can do. I can't do a... It's very hot right now. Like, everyone's kind of turning their nose into gnar. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, Australia is hot. Yeah. Did you ever have a koala Springs drink? Yes. What flavor? flavors were there. There was like a citrus thing. Yeah, I had a citrus one. And it was the, it was the thing I was bribed with to have to go swimming all afternoon. Like when you're done, you can have a koala spring. And then I think the other one I had was like a black current guy, which, oh, it was Bay.

Now, Grandma, did you have something you wanted to tell everyone about? Yeah. You look like you want to tell everyone. I'm champing at the bit. I am doing a show in Toronto. at Comedy Bar, on the Dan for it. March 14th, 7.30 p.m. Instagram show. It'll be me, a couple of my hilarious friends. It's going to be a lot of fun. It's Pie Day.

You love pie. Fuck, I love pie. 3.14. That's as many numbers as it needs. So, yeah, come on out. And our guest today lives in Toronto and a very funny comedian, favorite guest on the show. When I told my wife he were on, she went

nuts? It's Vita Dudaki. Hello. Hello. When I told my wife for the show, she also went nuts. She was like, like, how dare you? Foaming at the mouth. Holy shit.

I'm huge with wives. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, you really want to lean into that market. Yes. Yeah, I've heard of people being like a wife guy, but you're just like a... I'm a wife comedian. Yeah, you're like a other people's wife.

Yeah. So would you travel with a group called the Wives of Comedy or Comedy Wives or desperate comedy. But I'm not a wife, so. But your stuff is for wives. Yeah. Yeah. And a funeral.

What is, are you familiar with this term, wife guy? No. Is that really a term? Yeah. Okay. What is, is it a guy that seems like he should have a wife? No, it's a guy with a wife who is like nice to his wife. It's a guy who loves his wife too much and talks about it all the time.

And then usually ends up cheating on her. Yeah. I think that Who was the... Oh boy. Who were the guys? The tri-guies? Yeah.

You raised my mind. Wow. Ned from the tri-guise was a white guy. I actually feel so bad for him. How come? Because, well, I don't know. Because he like, he did something wrong. He cheered on his wife.

Sure. But then his friends were like, and I take that very personally. They like stop being friends with it. Yeah. They suck. That's so mean. They should have tried. Like, hey, let's try being friends with our...

Wait. Our philandering friend. That would have been an amazing episode. And that would have been, like, the viral, like, that's the publicity stunt, you know? What is the, what was the try guys' deal? They lived in the tri-cities. Can I even name the Tri-Cities? They were like, they did stunts?

They would just try things. Yeah, like, expressing their emotions. They, like, tried, um... Did you know who they were before this happened? Yeah, I don't know. I think, I don't know why I knew them. And we're pre-taping. This had just happened. Yeah. We don't know what the fallout is going to be. But we hope Norway wins.

Do you guys want to get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. There's like, it comes across my feed sometimes where there's like a show of standups that are all nurses or all teachers and they sell out theaters. Huh? In towns, they're like people who work at the school. Yeah. Absolutely losing it.

Do they dress in scrubs? I don't know if they dress. Well, I mean, I wouldn't put it past them. The teacher is just dress in, you know. They all wear the graduation cap. Yeah. That's kind of crazy because every place needs more doctors and teachers, but they're like comedians. They're on tour?

I'm sure you're doctors on tour right now. Yeah. Are there any naughty nurses? I mean, one of them's got to be the nasty one, you know? Because there's like scrubs and then the naughty nurse will wear the like Halloween outfit, the Halloween white stocking. Yeah, it's great. You know, everybody out there, dress like the profession you want, not the person you have. Wow.

See if you want to be a sexy nurse. You know what to do. Wait, so it's a group of comedians. Yes. But they're also doctors and teachers. And that's how they- No one said doctors. Oh, fuck.

Yeah, nurses. And that's how they like go viral. Is that how they gain a following? I guess. It would be cool if they like made the crowd laugh so hard that they needed medical help. Yeah. And they were like, sorry, we're actually the teachers. Is there?

Yeah. Is there a doctor in the house? No, we're all nurses. Yeah, we can't do anything. We don't know any of the stuff. No, you know what? My daughter was in the hospital last week. broke her arm and the nurses, great.

Everyone, everyone in the hospital, Primo. Yeah. We just need more of them. Yeah. And the woman that does the intake at the hospital, I feel like she sees so many people and she's kind of got a little bit of not taking no shit from you. I know, they're so mean. But they got to be.

They've seen all sorts of crazy shit. Why? I'm being so nice. What are you in there for then? I don't know. I feel weird. Yeah. In the emergency room?

There's people like with massive wounds. We're going to put you through first. You feel weird. We don't know that could be anything. I'm feeling well, go right. And when did it start? I got kind of a vague text from a friend. Oh, God.

The nurses at the children's hospital, no attitude. Okay. That's good. It'd be weird if they did. Yeah. Oh, really? Timmy. Classic kids.

Yeah, so what comedy tour do you do again? I can't remember. It's four of you that are all fucking wives. Why don't you become a try guy? It's too late. They're done. Their friend cheated on his wife and they're done. Graham, if you cheat on your wife, this podcast is over.

I'm just doing it the Dave Girl way. Everything Dave Girl does, I do. So when does that mean? He cheated on his wife. So he cheated on his way. Eventually. Eventually. And had a kid.

Not just cheating. Yeah. He couldn't have cheating the whole time. And that's beautiful. The kid is new. That's true. Yeah. That kids born into a life of love.

I don't know. It's, uh, uh, I don't know how guys cheat. Like, how do they, what's the science behind it? I think it's easier if you're a super rock star. Right. And you're on the road. You're on the road all the time. And women are throwing themselves at you.

They're like, Ned. Ned. Ned. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's, I guess that's it. And then, like, guys who have two families, they must be like, I'm on the road. I don't think that happens anymore.

It does. People can afford that? Yeah. And they can. Well, I don't think they afford it well. I think they're like, they're not too affluent families usually. Oh. But.

It just seems so like. If you can't afford one family, then having two families is what? What difference does it make? That's right. Yeah. But like, yeah, I wonder how, like, do the, how the wives don't find out? Yeah. It's never.

About cheating or do the two families? How about the two families? Because it's like, okay, he's out of town for half the time. Yeah. But if he's like a traveling salesman. Yeah. But I like, like, what about his social media? Right.

Oh, yeah. Right. No, social media is. killed that too, I guess. Yeah. And he could, I mean, he could say, I don't want to put any pictures of my kids online. Mm-hmm. Or my wife.

Yeah. Bita. Yeah. You're currently living and working in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Yeah. How do you like it? What's your favorite place to hang out in in Halifax? Oh, my God.

My dark, dingy hotel room. Are you down on the town? No. Is it just the winteriness of it all? The winter. Oh, did you guys get the, worst winter? I don't think we got the worst winter, but it is pretty, it's pretty bad. It's like hell on earth, actually. Hellifax. Yeah. Hellifax, I call it. Yeah. Yeah. Just the winter. And it's so icy,

and there's like this one big hill ever been. Have you guys ever been? Yeah. Yeah. What's it called at the top? Not the Senate half of that. Citadel. Citadel. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a big hill. I have to climb up every day. It's so icy. Oh, yeah, you guys are in a different, in a different place. You mentioned you're writing for this hour is 22 minutes. Yeah. You write skits for them.

I do. Yeah. And you know what? Anything we say today, put that in your stuff. I'm using it. You can use any of the stuff of your skits. Like. You guys with a podcast.

Yeah, well, no. That's not. That shit's going to go viral. That's not what the, you don't do it about us. Yeah. We get to the wives of comedy. Yeah. Or whatever.

If we say something funny about a politician. Right. Yes, I'll do one about the try guys. Do you have to, like, read the news every day? Because I feel like that when I was there, you had to read the news every morning. And I was like, I don't know, any of these people. Right, yes, yes. So you're up on it.

You're up on whatever's happening. I mean, kind of sometimes, I really shouldn't admit this, but sometimes when the writers are talking about, like, something or someone, I'm like, what the hell is going on? Who are they talking about? about. Like Rosemary Barton. Do you know her?

She's a reporter. She's a reporter. But I remember for the longest time, I didn't Google it. I'm bringing her name up. And I'd be like, is this someone I should know? And you thought that more than once?

Yeah. Yeah. If it comes up more than once, you've made better Google it. Can you, would you feel dumb Googling it in front of everyone? Like, would they all know? As soon as soon as we mention something, beat a heads to the old keyboard.

Is she keeping a diary? What's she doing? I know. No, they would definitely see because we all sit so close to each other. That's why I like Zoom calls, because if I'm doing a meeting with people. Yes. And they'll bring up, oh, so-and-so. Rosemary Barton. Rosemary Barton. Yeah.

By the way, I would absolutely have to Google. And she is the White House or Washington correspondent? No, she's Canadian. But isn't she in Washington as a Canadian? Fuck. Why am I asking you? I guess. I just know she's really mean to Carney.

She really sticks it to it. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's what you want in a reporter. Yeah. You want to be fierce. Like Lois Lane. Yeah.

She's always sticking it to Superman. Hey. Tell us a bit about this dingy motel that you have to live in. Oh. Maybe I. Yeah, maybe don't. Yeah, maybe don't. Yeah, scratch that, scratch that.

It's just, you know, it's weird living in a hotel for six, nine months. Do you? It's not normal. Oh, does it feel like you're a baby in a womb and you're like going to have to, after the nine months come out? No, it feels like I'm an animal in a cage. Okay. Do you have it so that your room will get made every day or do you just leave the, like, the... Not every day.

I try every five days. Okay. I'd be getting that every day. It's just I, I feel like I have to pay every time. Oh, do you tip? I do. What do you tip? Five dollars.

I'll mess up a hotel so much and I'll leave a 20. A 20. I'm like, this is going to be a lot of work. Yeah. When you leave it, do you write a little note on their, on the like, whatever notepad you get there and say, thanks? Because that way they know, this $5 is for me. I write, good luck. And that's, you know, I'm mean.

Good luck with this. What do you do in hotel rooms? I just become like a world win of chaos. It is hard to be a human, isn't it? Yeah. In hotel rooms. I think it's like I'm in there 10 minutes and then already the hotel, they need two cleaners to come. You know what I love when I get a hotel room to myself?

This has been years since I've had to travel for work or anything. But like you get a hotel room to yourself and you get two beds. Oh my God. That's crazy. One for jumping. The other for also jumping. I like when there's just a chair in the room, like not with the desk, but there's just kind of like a chair. And like, I don't know.

Yeah, Graham. Who would come in and sit in the chair in your hotel room? Oh, the cuck. This is a cuck situation. Is it specifically for cucks? This is what people say. I don't know how much cucking is happening. I mean, he's got to sit somewhere.

Yeah. Is there the reverse? I guess there's got to be. I think it's a woman who's watching her husband and a woman. Girl cuck. Yeah. Girl cuck. No, I think it's also just cuck.

Yeah. Like it was like comedian and comedian. Yeah. No longer a girl cuck. Yeah, okay. So you don't love living in a hotel. That's fine. That's normal.

Yeah. So you like... There's also no oven. Yeah, you don't, you can't cook for yourself. No, I, I, there's a stove top. Okay. So I make a lot of boiled. Hot dogs?

Yeah. And like, and, um, hard boiled eggs. So, yeah. And then you bring your Tupperware to work and everyone's like, hey, thanks for bringing the sticky, stinkiest. Oh, do you get, uh, do you get catering? We get, there's like, uh, there's like, it's not catering. Well, maybe it is. It's like a two guys who make everyone.

food. Is that catering? Yes. But it's just like at certain, it's like just for lunch. Yeah. Yeah. So you got to eat hard-boiled egg for breakfast. Lunch at the show. Yeah. Hard-boiled egg for a little thing for me. Yeah. It's a little crazy life. What are the two guys' names?

Don't make me say I don't remember. They don't know mine either. To be fair. That's fair. That's fair. You got a selection of drinks there? Huh? Do you have a selection of drinks? Like sodas? Yeah, you got a little bit of snacks, snacks?

They have sodas, yeah, they have snacks. They're, yeah. What are you drinking a day? I like, um... You know what I really like right now? What? Is a cherry bubbly. Oh, yeah.

So good. That's yum. But I'm worried about, like, my gums recessing. Oh, root. Ah, that's the least of your worries, you know what I mean? Just take care your teeth. Your gummed. I don't know about that.

What are they, is it supposed to make them recede or something? Yeah. Does Jerry bubbly specifically? Just carbonated drinks. Really? They're bad for your gums. Hmm. I'm only learning about this now.

Because of the bubbles. Something. I don't know. So the carbon dioxide in it? Maybe it's not. I didn't research it more than. Bubbles. So you didn't write that.

Bubbles. Gums. Bubble gum. It gives me an idea. So, So you're writing sketches. Yeah. You're doing stand-up in Halifax?

I am, and it is hard. How come? Just crowds or? I just feel like Halifax crowds don't understand the concept of me. Interesting. They've never seen a person like me before. I talk about weird stuff. They don't want to hear it.

What kind of weird stuff do you talk about? Just like, oh, my fucking. live. And it's hard doing crowd worker because you're like, what do you do for work? And they're like, lobster guy. Yeah. I drive theater of the tugboat.

Those are the two jobs. It's nuts. Because Halifax lucky is lucky because they've got like this whole team of writers that want to do stand-up. Or maybe are you the only stand-up on the... I feel like I'm the only one other than the Halifax locals that tries to do stand up there. Right.

I think everyone else is too tired. Yeah. But I have like nothing else going on. Because, you know, their heads are so heavy carrying around all this information. Yeah. Knowing who Rosemary Barton is. Yeah. And then you're only there for the fall in the winter.

What are you doing in the rest of the year? Just hanging? These are such, um, these are such good questions. Thank you. Thank you. We're just trying to get something out. Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.

I remember there was a couple, one or two episodes, like, pretty recently that you were on and you were like, I'm coming with an agenda and an attitude. No, no. But it's gone. No, I'm here again. Okay. In the summers, I, um. Go on. I don't know.

I try to find more work. Yeah? And I do comedy. You don't take the summer just for you and doing stand-up? No, I need money. Yeah. Yeah. Do you do stand up for money or only like, like, do you play clubs or anything like that? I don't do clubs. I don't know how to get in there still.

I think you have to like literally go on amateur night and slowly. And they didn't? No. Do you want me to call them and talk to them? No, I feel like, I don't know. I think I have enough spots. I don't think I need more. But I guess the clubs pay. Yeah. Yeah.

So you could do that during the summer and make a little green. True. But my style Like nobody Nobody in small town Canada wants to hear What I have to say about Yeah I want to know about your stuff

The people of Halifax don't get you Small towns don't get you Who gets you? Yeah who gets you? Just like My wives There's a town of wives I mean there are

You know In Utah There's probably a town with many many wives No that wouldn't work Yeah Yeah, I know you're talking about because I don't feel like at home in a small town. You know what I've noticed, okay, I've noticed when I do stand-up, people, the reactions I get sometimes, it's as if I am a crazy right-wing edge lord. Oh.

Like, people get so upset sometimes. Because they're taking something. You're joking about it's serious? And because I'm talking about how I hate immigrants. No, no. I'm because I... I don't know. Like, I have a joke about freezing my eggs.

Oh, yeah. And I say something like... Hard-boiled freezing. You do it all. Oh, God, I'm obsessed with eggs. Maybe that's your thing. Maybe I may be egg on it. Well, we had the nurse tour.

We had the teacher tour, now the egg tour. It's easy to conceive a headshot for that. You're bursting out of an egg. Like a baby chick. Yeah. So tell us about freezing your eggs. Well, I just have this line where I say, like, I call them, like, my eggs rotting produce.

Mm-hmm. And then people in audience go, oh, my God. Oh, fuck. She just said that. Holy fucking shit. I'm like, is it that bad? What, freezing your eggs? Just to say that?

To say it? Is it gross? I guess I refer to my sperm as the opposite of rotting for this as like super. Super Brutus. It's so annoying. Men talk about like coming all over the place and jizzing and. Yeah. If I'm not coming, I'm jizzing.

Honestly. Have you looked into freezing your eggs? Yes, I did it. You did it? You did it? Yes. And where were your congratulations? Congratulations.

Oh, yeah, congratulations. Where are they frozen in Toronto? Yeah. Yeah. I had a friend who froze a bunch of sperm in Toronto. Who? Bravo standard. You, how do you, how does it work?

How does it work? Do you want to talk about it? I can. No, you brought it up. You brought it up. I didn't bring up your eggs. All right. Well, how long do your hard boil eggs for eight minutes, ten?

Okay. So basically they, like, give you a bunch of medication that you have to inject with a fucking needle into yourself. Oh, okay. Into like, crazy. Into your abdomen. Abdomen. Okay. But not a vein.

Or do you have to find it? No, not a vein, thank God. Then how many, like, they give you a bunch. Yeah. Is it a bunch at once? Is it a bunch over like weeks? Oh, God, I don't remember. Over like two weeks.

Okay. Okay. It's pretty fast. And then the medication. What is the thing that freezes them? What's the thing that freezes them? No, what does the medication do? Yeah, what are the shots do?

I should have Googled this too. I think Rosemary Byrd. What are the doctors doing to me? Oh, no. I should have asked more questions. You guys, I find that I really don't ask any questions. Do you guys? You mean in general?

Yeah. Yeah, we ask, like, what do you do in the summer? What are you going to tour with? I should really think about, like, asking and knowing things. Why, do you do not do it because you're embarrassed that, like, why don't I already know it? I don't know. I think there's just, like, no thoughts in my brain often. I'm just like, okay.

It's got to be blissful. Do you find it stressful to come on our show? I am so stressed out right now. Why? There's no stakes. You can tell? Can you tell? Right now, yeah

Because I said it Well, no, it's Because you like volunteer to come on I know No, no, this is really fun I'm having a really good time And then I just haven't seen you guys in like what, three years

Oh, I don't know, let's look it up Two years Maybe two years I just don't even know you anymore Let's look it up I feel like it, what if it turns out It was like six months ago. Vita Drew Dackey was last year.

January of last year. No. No. Why am I so different? Oh, no. I literally feel like you two are strangers. Why? What did we do?

I don't know. Is it some kind of dissociative personality disorder? Did you? Okay, so can we, can I ask? Any more about the eggs? I mean, you can try. I don't know much. Yeah, that's true.

Do they store them in a carton? That's all I want to know. That's a tiny little garden. I didn't see them. Do you get, so you, how many do they take? I think I got about 15. And you, where are you when they're taking them? Zonked out of my fucking brain.

You're not awake for it? They give you fentanyl, honey. Oh, nice. Oh, the good stuff. So you have to fast? Do you have to fast for that? No, no fasting. Oh.

And so. The fentanyl of Michael Jackson? I think that's pro pro pro propofol. Propheaval. No, no, I think it's pro friphal. Yeah, right. Fentanil's the one that's getting into our drug supply. Yeah.

Yeah. But also doctors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, is this like, do you have to pay for this monthly? Or is there just a deal where you're like, I'm in for three years? For storing? You have to pay yearly. Okay.

And what are we looking at? Yeah. Look, Dave and I are thinking about freezing our sperm. We're just trying to get some insider info, you know? I didn't ask. You didn't ask? It just comes off your credit card? No, I did.

I just don't want to tell you. That's fine. That's fine. When are we thinking of thawing these guys? I'm thinking breakfast. Nice. That's why you're the egg comedian. Oh, God.

I should be an egg comedian. That would probably get me further. Or just even like the breakfast comedian. Oh, yeah, breakfast. Because then you could like, you could smash the stand-up model. People are doing shows at night. I'm the, I'll perform at your venue at 9 a.m. Yeah, and you're like sponsored by like checks or something like that.

Checks. Wouldn't I be sponsored by eggs? Yeah, I guess so. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I was just opening it up to be a... More inclusive. It's launched by Denny's.

I'm only thinking eggs. Touring Denny's around the country. What's like a good joke about eggs that I could start saying? Why did this? Eggs. Seems there was this egg that went to town. Hey, y'all ever heard about, um... Hold on, hold on.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, y'all ever heard of a... How's the writer's room work? Another egg joke. Who's the head writer? Jordan Foise. Past guest. Oh, really?

Does he start off the show? Every morning. I need 50 egg ideas. He's kind of like. Has anybody pitched scrambled yet? Do you like... Do you do a Jordan Foisy impression? Hey, a beta.

What's it? That's pretty good Hey, Bita. Don't tell him I said that. It's too late. You just said it on the air. Don't tell him I said that he says, hey, Bita. What's up?

Bita. Hey. I'm going to send him an email. Oh, this is going to listen to this week. This is going viral. He's, so he's such a good head writer. Yeah, it's fantastic. It's so funny sometimes when I, um,

I pitch a joke that bombs, which is a lot. It doesn't be like, instead of being like, that's bad, I'll say, can you explain that? And what do you say? No. Exactly. Oh, no, never, never mind. Will you do it? Because when I was there very briefly, everybody put their jokes in and then it was all anonymous.

Oh, yes. We do that. Okay. Yeah, I'm so bad at that. How come? Well, maybe I'm not. I get, I've gotten more of those like one-liner jokes. Yeah.

I've gotten more in this year than ever before. That was the only thing I got in. Do you, do people, um, because they're anonymous, uh, is it embarrassing if people are like, oh, that was a beta one? I don't think they can tell, but I've definitely, like, we used to have reads on Fridays of people's favorite jokes they wrote. Yeah. And then sometimes, like, some people.

People would read mine and then go, we're paying for this? You said that you'll pitch a joke that bombs. Yeah. When people pitch jokes in the writer's room. Yeah. Nothing like kills, does it? Are people like falling out of their chairs because someone said something so funny?

Some stuff kills. Yeah? Yeah. But is it the stuff that the writers like, which is like when something's going off the rails and can't possibly be a sketch? Um, yes, I don't know. Interesting. Trump, it's usually about like just being mean about like Trump's appearance. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that usually makes everyone laugh. How much is political sketches? How much is just general? General food prices.

Yeah. This season, it seems to be more political sketches. Okay. I was there last season, it was like half and half, I'd say. Half and a half, okay. Yeah. It's good. I've seen, like, recent episodes of it.

It's good. It's funny. It's hip. It's young. It's fresh. Honey, have you seen our crowds? Have you been to a taping? Oh, that's right.

They do a live tape. No, but no TV tapings. Have young people. Is that true? Yeah. That's not true. No? I went to live with the, live with.

Kathy and whatever? It was Ryan C. Crest and Kelly at the time. Yeah. How was that? It was so young. It was like a frickin' meat market out there. Oh, shit.

There's so many young bodies in the crowd. But that's a daytime talk show. No, it was all old people too. But, um, uh, except there was, no, it was great. I loved it. Yeah. Because they do a lot of audience participation. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I feel like that's probably even the case that, do you think there's young people at Saturday live, the, in the tapings? Yeah, I think so. It's a hot ticket. Hot ticket, okay. Yeah. But when I, you know, my parents went to see the daily show last time they were in New York.

Oh, all old people? Well, my parents. Right. Got their asses. No, my parents are young. Younger than you. That's that now. That's a sitcom.

Now I'm a guy with white hair. Your parents being younger than you. That's good. Right? Yeah. Like, oh my God. Okay, here's a sitcom for you. Go on.

Young couple adopts 60-year-old man. Go on. I like where this is going. Who is the 60-year-old man? And who is his background? Why did they adopt him? Okay. Okay.

Because they're forbidden. Forgot to freeze their eggs. Yeah, their eggs are too frozen. Frostbitten. They scrambled when they should have frozen. Yeah. And, yeah. What else could happen?

That's good. I don't know. This bitch is really falling apart. I thought this was a whole series. I got bored immediately. So I'm watching, so with my family, every night we watch Young Sheldon. Do you really? Yeah.

Why? Because my kids like it? They do? Yeah. Interesting. Seems like a thing a kid would like. Huh? Don't you think?

No. What's it going to do you like with your kid? Oh, okay. No, it's for adults. Only adults would like it. But it's, uh, there's a, a spin-off show. Oh, yes.

Called the Georgie and Mandy's first marriage. And wait, and Young Sheldon is a spinoff. Yeah, it's true. All right. And there's another spinoff a coming. Really? Really? About a interdimensional travel.

Oh, enough of this. But the young Sheldon is, so this, his older brother is Georgie, and Georgie has impregnated this. The first few seasons are fine, except there's like, I never watched a big Bank Theory, and then occasionally they'll be like such a like... Like a wink? Yeah, but like he visits Caltech to see Stephen Hawking give a speech as a child. And they walk into the cafeteria, and I'm like, this must be an important cafeteria.

Because they're really like having an emotional wide shot of this cafeteria. Oh. This is probably from Big Bang Theory. They shouldn't do that. That should be illegal. Yeah. And then there's once where it's a season finale. Sheldon invites everyone from high school to wake up early and listen on the radio at his house to the Nobel Prize for physics being announced over the radio.

And no one shows up. And then there's like shots of like a child version of Johnny Galecki listening to the radio in his house and like a young myambialic. All the all the big bangs. Wow. But now, so there's this, in the later seasons, there's, it's too much about this older brother and his girlfriend, he's impregnated. And the older brother is, the way they get together is they lie about their ages. And his older brother is 17. Okay.

He says he's 21 and the woman is 25. But turns out she's actually 29. What? And they're just glossing over the fact. Oh, my God. This is maybe a crime. Yeah, yeah. 30-year-old.

That's crazy. And you're letting your kids watch this. He's making them. Yeah. We got to finish this season. We've got to power through. I'm tired. Oh, and then there will be like a moment where he first discovers.

Science or something. No, the Flash. The Flash, yeah. But when he invents Bazinga. That is a big episode. It is an episode. It comes up. Um, do you have a spec script written or, because this sounds like it needs.

For young Sheldon, I don't have any spec scripts. Maybe young Sheldon could, uh, adopt a 60 year old man. Whoa, I like that. No, no, but that's what I said was a really good idea. Yeah. A couple that adopts a 60 year old man. That's really funny. Man, is he infirmed?

Or is he, like, does he need to be taken care of? Or is he like, does he sound mind and body? Oh, is he like, yeah. Oh, you know what I think it's, you know what it is? It's King of Queens. Oh, it is King of Queens. You know, you know what I think I was thinking of King of Queen? What is the premise of King of Queens?

Like, literally, they're a couple, and then George's dad moves in. But is he, yeah, they're not. He's like a child. Oh, okay. And he's so funny. He is so funny. I never saw that. You should.

It's funny. It's actually. good. Yeah. I know, but there were so many of that kind of thing at the time. Yeah. Yeah, but that's a good one. I watch, oh, just recently I watched a couple episodes of Bob Hart's Abyshola.

Exactly. And you guys, it's really good. Honestly, Abby Shola is really funny. Uh-huh. News radio. And, man, that movie, or sorry, that show rules. So funny. It's a movie.

I never watched it. I watched it all at once, so it felt like a movie. You never seen it? No, but it's good. I know it's good. It's good. Yeah. But you can't.

There's no. a place that streams it or anything. I had to get it from the library. What the hell? I know, right? You have a DVD player? Yeah. You got it for Christmas. Yeah, I got one for Christmas. Oh, that's so nice. Yeah. So now physical media. Yes, yes.

I'm watching commentaries. I'm watching deleted scenes. I'm watching featureettes. Whoa. But not a, not news radio. They're not. No, no. That's just, it's the most, it's not even a good print that they've transferred. Yeah. Has it made you realize anything? thing, opened your brain a bit? What? News radio? Physical media.

Yeah, I was just saying I watch all these things that come on the... Have you had it? Have you had big thoughts? Oh, yeah. The Freddie Kruger rules and he, uh, he's shows up on set at time, like on time. Freddie Kruger? Yeah, yeah, for Nightmare on Alm Street. You've been watching that physical media?

I watched, uh, I watched three of those. And he shows up on time and that is, is that from one of the behind-the-scenes feature. Wow. Freddie Krueger is an A-type personality. Yeah. Well, he's got to get there early to put on the makeup. Oh, yes. Of course he's on time.

Yeah. That's right. You know, actually, I've been trying to not consume any media. Oh, yeah? For, like, literally one hour of my day, and it's the hardest thing ever. What is, like, oh, like, you just put down your phone and... Because I've noticed, well, I've realized there's not even one second in my day where I'm not listening to something. looking at something.

I'm never alone with my thoughts. So you have that one hour a day? Well, I try. I never, I can never actually do it. What would you do? Like, I guess there's,

you could like, uh, but would you allow yourself to, you know, do a hobby, do a craft, do a cooking? I either want to go for a walk.

Mm-hmm. Or write. So do it. That's brilliant. But it's so, it's the hardest, have you ever tried? Um,

going on a walk with no, with no music. Oh no, I do that all the time. You do? Yeah, I rarely wear headphones or anything. Really? And you're not like bored out of your mind? I'm walking. Yeah.

What are you listening to? The birds. Do you have good ideas? Sometimes. Apparently that's when you get good ideas. When you're wandering around? Yeah. So far, none for me.

I also have to get an overheard every week. So I need to be all hands on deck. Oh. I remember listening to an interview with. Jack Handy, the S&L writer. Oh, old guy, new? I never heard of them personally. He's from the 80s?

From the 80s and 90s. I think he wrote the tunces sketches. Which? Tunis? The driving cat. Oh, okay. But he has a bunch of one-liner joke. Yeah, deep thoughts with Jack Nand.

Oh, wait, I know deep thoughts. And his way he would come up with ideas is he had a Nerf football and he would just lie on his back and throw it in the air and Maybe I should do that. You know? Beats walking around. Yeah. Okay. I listened to this podcast recently.

I'm listening. Called. I was going to say stop podcasting yourself as a joke. But I forget what it's called actually. Oh, oh, telepathy tapes. Have you ever heard of it? No. Okay.

So apparently, apparently they're, they're, um, These non-speaking autistic people can apparently communicate through their minds. Okay. With each other. When they live like in different countries and stuff. But in one episode. They live in different countries, not just if they're in front of a real life thing? It is.

Huh. No one believes me when I talk about it. Are you sure it exists and this is not just something you've dreamt? Wait. No, it's real. But anyway, they have, they had an episode about. creativity. And?

And apparently it's like you have to, this is why I've been trying to not listen to something for an hour. You have to like give your, give space to your mind for ideas from the universe to pop in. Have you ever gone a whole day? No, I could never. Well, I had my computer with me, but I was in Whitehorse and I left my phone on a train. So I just didn't have a phone. So I was walking around. What?

How would you survive? Didn't know what directions I was going. Yeah. I didn't know where I was going. I know I'm too reliant on directions now. Oh my gosh. Just because I like, I know where I'm going. I'm just doing it in the city.

But I like to plug it in and race it. Yeah. And be like, oh, I think I'm going to get there at 258. I bet I can get there at 255. That's very interesting. Thanks. But yeah, you should try it one day. It's crazy.

It's like being in another time. You could. You could. You know, those dumb phones or like those block phones? Yeah. Maybe I'll look at one of those. I guess I know them.

I just don't know what the point is. It's just like a phone. Okay. And it only has music, photos, and maps. Oh, and texting, I guess. Oh, texting. Okay. So no.

No internet otherwise. Yeah, but why? But why? Couldn't I just dunk my phone in the hot tub? I guess you could just dunk your phone in a hot tub. I never thought about that. Yeah, it is hard because I notice, I'll just do this kind of like loop of, I can't put my phone away and then let's grab my phone and bring it out and let's look it and let put it away.

I know. It's like whenever I'm anxious at all in a conversation, I'll go on my phone. It's a lifesaver that way. It really is. If you're not included in the conversation, it gives you an instant thing to do this. It's not just standing by yourself. I like it because it's got all the apps that I need. Dave, your favorite app is?

We'll go round the horn. Oh, yeah. What's my favorite app? I bet if I opened my phone, it would tell me what app I use the most. It would be devastating. Yeah. It would be Instagram, I bet. Yeah, probably.

Yeah. No, I got a new game on it. Oh. It's called Sand Loop. Oh, what's that? It's just a very satisfying game where you collect sand in buckets. Ooh. What is yours?

Top app. Oh, God. Top app. I guess, um... What does the thumb go for? Well, there's, I fucking, I guess, Instagram. Yeah, I'm the same Instagram, but also New York Times puzzles. Oh, he's not a lot of time that every day.

I should do that. It's worth it. Is it like good for your brain? I don't know what's good for my brain. If I knew, God knows, I'd be a superhero. A beans are good for your heart, I think. Beans? Yeah.

And also for your colon. Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. They're also good for your colon. Yeah, they're really good for that. Is there a thing that tells you what apps you use the most? Usage. App fact faptor. Ag fapter.

Usage. Yeah. Isn't that a thing? Yeah. But does it tell you what? No, that's not the word. Appfactor is what you want. Appfactor.

Look, we can talk about this all night. We're all looking at our screens now. Yeah. Well, Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, so much. Yeah? Oh, shit. So this last week, I was.

I was, Abby was away because she had to, her dad had knee surgery so she was going to help out over there. And my daughter just broke her arm here. Oh my God. And so she was home all week from school.

And I was, so I was home alone with my children. I was like, Mr. Mom over here. Oh, yeah. That's a movie.

Yeah. I was like the new Nate Bargat. Oh, yeah. Bargatsi. Bargas. And he's getting in a movie, right? He's in a movie, right?

He's in a movie. a movie where he's a dad who's Mr. Mom. Oh. His wife, Mandy Moore. Oh, right. Who I didn't recognize her right away. Okay.

Yeah. I saw the thing and I was like, who's that lady? It's Mandy Moore. Well, what am I supposed to do? I'm not allowed to acknowledge that I didn't recognize her. But he like, she leaves town and he has to take care of the kids and he has, he's never met the kids apparently.

This is a premise. of the premise of your movie is your wife should have left you because you're not. Also, that premise is more evergreen than I would have thought. I feel like that would have been left behind in the 80s or 90s. Yeah, it should have been. Yeah. It's still rocking.

Still rocking. So that was, you know, that had its ups and downs, but it was pretty smooth. Yeah. Although the children, I was like, one, I was like, well, since mom's not here, we can like, You know, mix up. They love sleeping in my bed. So I was nice. One of you can sleep with my bed one night, the other, the other night.

And then a couple nights they both slept in my bed and I slept in one of their bed. That's nice. We can do like, we can like, after young Sheldon, after we watch five young Sheldon, we can do, we can watch a movie in, in bed and then just sleep. And, you maybe fall asleep watching the movie. And, but they were like, they. I gave them an inch and they took a mile. Yeah. And she knew that she's got sympathy.

Yeah. I was like, well, you can, you know, watch a movie of my bed after you brush your teeth. And then 10 minutes later, can we have popcorn? You just brush your teeth. You're getting popcorn to make damn bed? Now, Margo's cast, has it been signed? Is it still a thing to sign? It is all signed.

Yes. Wow. Yeah. What she wanted to do was get the dogs to put their pop prints. and ink and put them on the pass. That's pretty cool. But I'm not going to, I don't think it's going to work. Yeah.

And also the dog will run away and put pop prints all over the book. Yeah, that's the other thing. So that was a big week. And then we've wrapped it up with the Super Bowl. Yeah, we're pre-taping a few episodes. We watched the Super Bowl. I didn't watch the Super Bowl. I just saw the halftime show online.

Yeah. I liked it. It was good. It was really good. It's on my to-do list to watch the halftime show. I did have to go to the grocery store in the middle. of the game. To make yourself a seven-layer dip.

No, just because we always go grocery shopping on Sundays, and Abby was out of town, and she had just gotten back. And so that was my first window that I could, like, go. And do not go grocery shopping during the Super Bowl. It has been, the chip aisle has been decimated. The shredded cheese aisle has been picked over. Oh, no.

I never realized Super Bowl is such a big thing. It's what, there was, it is weird to be like. It's like not part of my life. Do you ever, like, go to the grocery store? You've never seen it? I don't think I've ever. Well, actually, once I sat down and watched a game. Who won?

I don't remember. I knew it. The, but yeah, it was weird being like, you know, when they're all out of, like, Dr. Pepper at the grocery store and, like, this many people are serving Dr. Pepper at their Super Bowl parties. And, like, I remember once on Canada Day, I couldn't find clubs. anywhere. I was like, yeah. People need club soda on Canada. Well, it's Canada dry, you know. It's patriotic.

Cup cocktails. Yeah. But then also just like, sometimes you am in the grocery store and I'm like, who buys this product? Like, who buys? It might have gone viral. Sometimes the weirdest things go viral. But not, I'm talking about the opposite.

I'm like something that's been on the shelf for like, oh, this, whatever. Canter refried beans probably. Yeah. any random item. They're not selling that many of this. Yeah. Like, it must be so hard to, like, order. Like, when do we re-up on the ginger beer?

Yeah. Yeah. It's, um, uh, I've gone, like, I've seen it. I've watched it the whole thing a couple of times. But I, I literally don't know anybody that has a Super Bowl party. Party, yeah. Like, yeah. Which is fine, because I don't want to watch it.

But, uh, I would. I, I, I, watch it probably every year by myself. Yeah. You should have a party. Okay. Right Graham. Yeah.

All my rowdy friends? Right. Yeah. But during the, if you haven't seen it, during the show, there's all these trees around. Oh, yeah. They're played by actors, which is the easiest way to get them in and out. Man, they build that set so fast. Yeah.

It wasn't actually built during, they put everything. up during half time? Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. They have to do like, they do like a, you know, five minutes of game analysis. Right. They sure kicked a lot of balls today, guys.

And then they, yeah, and then while that's going on, building a stage. And it's amazing. There hasn't been a collapse. Yeah. And also, Ricky Martin looks great. Oh, my God. He looks amazing. Yeah.

That's not a surprise. Well, I bet he's had a facelift. You think? He must. He looks too good. He just moisturizes. No. You might have good genes, you know?

It looks so good. He bangs. He bangs. Yeah, it's a, I can't remember from one year to the next who the halftime show is. I think I just looked it up. I think last year it was Usher. Nice. Was it?

Okay. I don't think so. And then the year before that, or maybe it was Rihanna. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, it was Usher last year. Kendrick Lamardo. Oh, it was Kendrick. Yeah.

He didn't do the last year. Didn't he do the one during COVID? No. The weekend did the one during COVID. Oh, the weekend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And also, yeah. Rihanna did one a couple years ago. But no, I wouldn't be able to do it. Like, is there anything that you can, like, I feel like there's so many hockey things that I was able to do for a while that I was like, I could tell you the first overall picks from, you know, whatever, these years in a row that I can't do anymore. But why? Gone? Gone from your brain? Gone from my brain. And I just like, I don't pay attention.

And also just like, it was easier when there were fewer years. Right. The years do keep coming. They don't stop coming. That's right. But is there anything that you're like, oh yeah, I could remember the last 50 Oscar Best Picture winners. Oh, shit. I truly can't. I don't. I can barely remember my own life. Could you remember the last five best Victor winners? Let me try.

Like in a row? Yeah. No fucking way. Well, what, what, when last year? Could you remember what won last year? No. Wait, give me a hint. I don't know.

Was it? No. And I watch, this is what I watch. Wait, wait. I don't know. It was. Do you remember? Do you know?

No. Wait. Fuck. Okay. This is making me feel nuts. I know. I can't. Well,

How many from the last 10 years could you remember? I remember the artist. The artist was probably over 10 years ago. Okay. Shape of water? Shape of water maybe was 10 years ago. Moonlight. Moonlight or Lala Land?

Or Lala Land. Yeah, I think it was moonlight in the end. Parasite. Parasite, yeah. Good. Boy, that one that... Oh, yeah. Did, like, Roma win?

Roma won. Roma, yes. Did Coda win? I don't know. Or like... Or Nomad Land? Oh, yeah, right. In those, like, COVID years where no one could go to theaters.

Oh, God. It was Francis McDerman? Yeah. She was also in, I remember nominated three billboards outside. Right. I think that I'm mixing those two. I think I thought those were the same. I know, me too.

Until you just said that. Yeah. Crazy. Oh, and Green Book? Was that in the last year? Green Book after Moonlight, I believe. Green Book after Moonlight. Never.

Sailor's Delight. What, yeah, could not tell you what went last year. No. Oh, no. Are we going to look this up? Yeah. And then while you're at it, look up who Rosemary Barton is. I already did.

I love that you didn't bother to check it out. This is none of my business. Guys, can you believe Anora won last year? Oh, right. Anora. Never saw it. I'm more like a Bora. Nice.

No, I liked it. Snora. Snora. I liked it. I liked it. Here's the thing about the Super Bowl that I don't like what has happened. Used to me the commercials were just funny. They just had like a funny idea.

Now it's all celebrities just redoing a thing that they... Everything is cool and then celebrities ruin it. It's true. Everything is cool. Yeah. Like, it used to be Super Bowl commercials for like Go Daddy were so cool. And then celebrities were in them. They were funny.

And or sexy. Yeah. Remember they were like, there's boobs in this commercial. Go online and see the full version of this commercial for like. Wasn't there a sexy Doritos one or sexy? Yeah, with Jay Leno. Sexy Doritos commercial. Well, what used to happen was it was a.

big deal in the States. Like, oh, you can see, you know, we do the greatest commercials of the year. That's where Wasop came from. That's where Wasop came from. And I think the Budweiser frog. That's absolutely the way you're going from. Or, hey, where's the meat? Are you doing Jordan Foise again? Hey, where's the meat? That was to fit in the Super Bowl one. It was, where's the beef? Where's the beef or we have the meats or whatever? But I love that it, you've added, hey, hey. In the meats. And the,

but in Canada, we wouldn't get them because we have, like, a thing where they only show Canadian commercials, even with on an American broadcast, they'll just substitute Canadian commercials. Yeah. So you would get an ad for United Buy and Sell Furniture Warehouse.

Leon. You would get an ad for, well, Swiss All-A. Oh, absolutely. It's some kind of, now all the ads I see here for debt consolidation, Yeah. Probably a bad side.

Yeah. It is sad. But then... Like Anora. Was Anora sad? Yeah. And kind of funny. Huh.

Yeah. It was kind of a Bora. Nice. But the... Then they changed it. Well, then there were like... You could get on your cable package, you could get American channels. And so you could watch the American ads during the Super Bowl.

Right. And then they... Like, because, like, they would do time delay. Like, oh, you can watch the East Coast speed. Right. Why would anyone want to do that? Then you can see American commercials. You'd be like, oh, look at these.

Look at this sexy Dorito. Oh, my God. Someone posted one that was Beyonce, Pink, and Britney Spears. Back in the day. I remember this. Was it a joy of Pepsi? Pepsi. And the guy who played, like, Caesar was in Riquet Igles?

Oh, it was in a. It was like Gladiator style. I remember that. Oh, I don't remember. Probably Enrique Iglesias or DJ Qualls or someone. And the, but then they switched it back and now we can't get American commercials.

But they showed, they put them all on YouTube like a month ahead of time. Yeah. And there's some that I really hated. Like, there was one where they redid Ferris Bueller's Day Off, but he's an adult. Right. Oh.

And then, because I don't want to, I want to, I want. my imagination to think that Ferris Bueller did anything he wanted. And then you show him in an office. I was like, I don't know that he would have just gone into an office job, you know? I think he would have. Really? Yeah.

How come? Because life is cruel. Yeah, life is cruel. Because his dad worked in an office. Yeah, that's true. But they do like, didn't they do a Seinfeld reunion that just ended up being a commercial for the Super Bowl? Like, did I make that up?

There's like, oh, we're going to do this big reunion, like these old beloved TV shows. Yeah. Yeah, that rings a bell. And it's always just for a commercial for the Super Bowl. Yeah. Or you'll be like a thing. We'll start going viral a few weeks before the Super Bowl. And you're like, oh, why's Michael Sarah carrying around all that Saravis?

Right. Moisterizer. It turns out it was for a Super Bowl ad. Yeah. Oh, did you hear that Slash was at the Winnipeg Airport today? Wow. Did I hear that? And he didn't.

guess he doesn't fly on a private jet because he was coming out the same entrances everybody else. There's a big escalator and he was, he can't not be rock and roll, you know what I mean? If he didn't wear that big hat everywhere he went, people wouldn't know who he was. He wasn't wearing the big hat.

Okay. But people, because he, everything else was like, A man believed to be slash was spotted in the Winnipeg. Unconfirmed. I'm a Rosemary Barton. We'll be getting to the bottom of it.

But like, of course he doesn't. doesn't fly a private job. No, I guess not, but it's weird that, because he's like, he's not trying to disguise that he slash. Right. I would love to be slash. Yeah. Walking around all the time.

Hey, slash, great work on the guitar. Thanks, man. Thank you. Hey, slash, oh. You work on any new licks? Yeah. Any new licks in the forthcoming? Hey, slash, what did you think of Chinese democracy?

How's Axel? Oh, he's fine. I'll give you a card with all the answers to the other questions you have. What do you think is the biggest question he gets? Slash? What condition I do you use? Yeah, that's a good call. Who cuts your hair?

Yeah, is that your real hair? Yeah. The guy from Back to the Future who played Biff. Yeah. Tom, Tom, hmm. Why, I'm on a first name basis. Yeah, yeah. He has a song, and he's a stand-up, and he has a song as act.

Really? Where he plays guitar and it's called The Questions and he talks about all the questions. People ask him when they meet him. Wow. And they're mostly like, what's Michael J. Fox like? Oh, God. He was nice 30 years ago. Yeah.

40? 40 now. Jesus Christ. Excuse me while I just walk in front of a train. Back to the Viewer 2 takes place 10 years ago. Oh, no. Here's a thing that happened to recently. I was talking to a couple of young comedians.

And they had never heard of Goodfellas. Huh? Yeah. No. Yeah. Open the schools. Yeah. Something they say on the Internet.

So open the schools? What does it mean? Like, get educated? Yeah. Yeah. The kids are too dumb. But like, I just, it's like not knowing the godfather or something. That's embarrassing.

Not like a famous, but it wasn't just one. There's two people that both had ever heard. And you're not like asking, like, have you seen them? They've never even heard of them. They've never even heard. Yeah. Because I was trying to relay something that, like, I think during the same with Ray Leota that's like where he's going all crazy. And I was like, you know, Goodfellas.

And they were like, what's Goodfellas? They could have said I've never seen Goodfellas. Yeah. But they were like, what is Goodfellas? I've never heard the word. Yeah. That's wild. Have you seen Goodfellas?

But you've heard of it. That's fine. Oh, I've seen it. I've seen it. What's your favorite part? The part where he's flushing all that cocaine and. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a good part. Yeah. My favorite part? Close up on the garlic. Yes. That's really good. Yeah, I think everybody wants to have a sauce that's made that way. Everybody wants to have a sauce.

Is that the song in the movie? Yep. That and Layla. Layla. What's that song? That's just Eric Clapton, Derek and the Dominoes. But yeah, it's featured in the end of when these, I feel like it's running, the piano part from that is happening

when he's being chased by the helicopter. Yeah, and the girl that won't go to the airport without her hat. And anyways, great film, great film. Same thing as Drew Slash, we'll go to the airport without his hat. He was wearing a baseball cap. Yeah. His damn hat. Yeah.

I was thinking of doing a comedy bit where I just come out with a big hat. Do you guys think that would be funny? What kind of hat are we? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Explain it to me. Is that what he says? No, kind of, yeah. Can you explain it? Can you explain that?

Yeah. Just like, I thought that it would be kind of funny if I came on stage with like a really big hat. And then I thought like, okay, maybe the hat, okay, okay, maybe like it's like, and then I go like, let me be serious. And then I take off the hat and there's a smaller hat. That's good. Is that funny? Is it funny? Yeah.

I mean, I think you can pull it off. Yeah. What kind of hat is your big hat? Are we talking about sombrero size? Can we say what we're picturing? I'm picturing the kind that the mystery, that guy mystery wears. Oh, sure. The pickup artist.

You wear a top hat? Was it a top hat? Sort of like a floppy top hat that maybe had goggles on it. Oh, yeah, yeah. I would have gone them of the same. I was going to say the hat that Jamiriqui wears in his video. Ooh. Yeah.

Jamiriqui name of the band. Oh, there's, yeah, right. He's not, no. He's not Jamarquay. Right. That needs to be, I, that, you know. You got to get that right. You got to get that out in the, uh, enough people are getting it wrong that open up the schools.

Um, a Gen Z girl, I know, doesn't know Jumeric why. Yeah. That's, that's probably more normal. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there was. Like, I remember being a kid in people in, like, hearing adults make reference to Christopher Cross and being like, I only know Chris Cross.

There was a video that went around of J.Merequai's lead singer. J.K. Just call him Jmeriqui. You know what? He was there? Yeah, they did a duet. They did? Yeah, virtual insanity.

That's so crazy. Maybe I've seen that, actually. I went to, I visited Columbia once. Columbia. The country of Colombia a few years ago. And apparently Jermarquai is the biggest band in Colombia. Oh, of course. Yeah.

Awesome. They called them Hamo. What's going on with you? I was, oh yeah, my parents were in town. Oh, my God. And you didn't come by? They were only here for a day. They were only here for a day.

Oh, I don't exist in a day. I just assumed you were busy. I took them weird I structured the day Which I never do I was like we're gonna do this We're gonna do this we're gonna do that Why why?

Because if you leave my family to their own devices We would just be talking about the possibilities Oh sure but I structure today mom it's a spa day Yeah Dad we're gonna go throw some axes And I'm gonna run back and forth What are gonna do because they do not get along So there was an exhibit

And when I'm with my mom, I'm Mrs. Delfire. But when I'm with my dad, I'm Daniel. There's a, in Kingsgate Mall, there was a temporary museum called the Museum of Personal Failure. I heard of this. It's gone? I think it might be done. It got extended. It did get extended, but I think the ninth was the last day.

But it was so good. It was so good. It was such a good idea. there was everything in there from like, this is a person who failed to put a bike on the top of an Evo and it's just smashed into a bunch of different pieces. Cool. And then just like there was a wall of notes of people,

the things that they, you know, failed at. Yeah. And honestly, that was fascinating. There was like a kind of like a chain of emails that were rejection emails from jobs. And there was one that I loved so much. It was an Irish woman who wrote this big piece. And all the stuff was done a typewriter.

There was no, like, printed off of a computer. So this woman told the story about going to a drugstore, trying to ring through something and trying over and over again. And it wouldn't ring through. And she decides to steal it. She's like, well, I tried my best. I'm just going to steal it. It's a bunch of, you know, toothbrush heads or whatever.

Yeah. And she feels so bad about it. And she's kind of considered taking it back. And then when she goes to open it, it's just a display copy that says bringing it to the till. So good. That, oh, boy. I was trying to think of the personal failures. Like, I was like, what would I?

That you would contribute? Yeah. Hmm. I mean, there's a plethora. I know. I feel like I'd have too many. How many times you've been on the show? Oh, brother.

What? So it was in the mall, like in a store location? Yeah. What store did it used to be? I gotta say that it's like a dollar store. No, no dollar store. Wow. Oh, sure, I know.

Yeah, I know. The store itself is a failure. Yeah. Ever thought of that? I didn't ever think of that. Yeah, I mean, every, I guess, yeah. Any place you put it in the mall, it'll be in the place of a store that failed. Yeah.

Wow. I haven't been to Kingsgate in a while. It's... The top floor is not a Bilo anymore. No. Save on? It's become pretty straight and narrow. There's not really any fun, silly stores anymore.

Right. Like... Haven't they been threatening to tear it down for like 15 years ago? Everything's being threatened to tear down in this whole city. Everything I love is a condo. That's the same in Toronto. Yeah. What's your favorite thing that got closed down?

Do you know in Toronto? Yeah. I actually... okay, this is something, like when I come here and I see something's gone, I get sad because it has history. But in Toronto, I don't give a shit. Because you didn't live there for them? It means nothing to me. Fair enough.

What's your favorite thing that they replaced stuff with? A freshie? Freshie rules supreme in Toronto. Yeah. Well, Mr. Sub, it's sort of a Mr. Shep. Right. That's true. The, yeah, they do like to.

to tear things down and build them back. The craziest one for me is when that, at Maine and Broadway, when that like block burnt down. Right. And then they built a bunch of new places. And then five years later, they tore it all down to put in a subway station. Yeah. That's true. Yeah.

Yeah, my favorite Italian place was on Camby. It got torn down. And in its place is an insurance office. and a dentist. Oh, God. And they've, that has been, they've been building it

for years. Yeah. And they had a now open flag in front of the store. The dentist's office doesn't even have, like, it's not even front facing.

Like, you need, there's, they've been building it for years and now there's just like a printout saying, go through this door to go to the dentist.

It's like, it looks so shabby. It does. It looks so shabby. But, you know, I'm glad that they found some renters for that place.

But yeah, in Toronto, you're just like, Yeah, I feel like no attachment to anything there. I kind of only want restaurants. I don't want anyone to build an insurance office. I don't want anyone to build a dentist. Restaurant, smoothie place.

Yeah, lots of smoothie places. What's your favorite thing in Vancouver that got torn down when you've come back and been like, oh, shit? God. Well, I can't remember. Do you have an answer to this? I guess you're, my beloved Italian place. Oh, bold little mountain. Yeah. Yeah. It's not anything yet, though, is it? Uh, it, it's not open, whatever it is. Yeah, whatever it is. It's going to be a condo, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Condos with shops. But that was really sad. That's where I started doing comedy at 17.

Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. And here you are two years later. Here I am, two years later. Using your eggs. Using my eggs. Brain is mush. Brain is gone to mush. Can you freeze your brain? I hope so. Uh-oh. Do you think they, do you think they mixed a? it up? Do you get to see your eggs? Wait, if my eggs are here, where's my brain? When they take

them out after you're zonked out, when you come back in? I didn't get to see them. When you wake up, do you say funny things? No, I'm just like so polite. Yeah. I'm just like, thank you. When my daughter had to get put under for, because her arm had to get reset, they put her under

and she was very like loopy afterwards. But nothing really like, you know, nothing is going to go viral. Yeah. Like her body was under a blanket. She's like, where's my body? Aw. That's so sweet. Oh, my God. I have a body. You know what? The nurses actually kept laughing at me as if I was saying funny stuff. But I would speak so normal. But maybe your attempt to be normal is it looks strange to I don't know about that. I think they just, like, wanted me to be crazy.

Did you freeze them in Toronto? Yeah. Okay. Did you tell them that you were a comedian? God, no. No. Well, then why would they think you were going to be funny? I think maybe they just assume people coming off drugs or funny.

But I was like, okay, thank you. And they were like, yeah. Sure. Are you sure? Or did you say something insane that you didn't know you were saying something insane? You should have told them you were a comedian. they would have been like, oh, my friends are all nurse comedians. We're going on tour.

Yeah, so anyways, that thing was fantastic. Ironically, a huge success. Wow. And I don't remember the name of the artist who started it, but it was all artist run. But yeah, the anon. Do you remember there was a, it was like a website called like Post Secrets or something? Yeah. It was like that.

It was like going through. I love that website. Yeah. Yeah. And people would write in on a postcard a secret that they had. I remember someone saying it was a good exercise. Like give your characters, go to this website and give your characters a secret and pull it from this website. Ah.

For writing. For writing. And I never did. I hate stuff like that. Do you guys want to move on to some overheards? Sure. Yeah. The Greatest Trek is the hit podcast about new Star Trek shows, and right now we're talking about all things Starfleet Academy.

Starfleet Academy is a Star Trek show made for everyone, from Lifetime Star Trek nerds to folks who only like my so-called life in Dawson's Creek. We even had a special writer and actor guest for the fifth episode this season, the hilarious Taunny Newsome. Look, there's always something fun on the Greatest Trek feed because when the season's over, we're going back to watching the original series. And hey, if you like old, Star Trek, the greatest generation, just had its 10th anniversary. That's greatest trek for new Star Trek and greatest generation for the Star Trek you grew up on. Both shows you can find on MaximumFun.org. Ready go.

Knock, knock. Who's there? We got this. With Mark and How? You knew this one. We can't put that out as an ad. We just did new episodes every week on Maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcast. Now it's Hewn and Rock.

tune in rock. Yeah. How do you hue something in rock? With a chisel. There's only one hue in rock and it's Huey Lewis. And the news is we got this with Mark and Howells available every week on Maximumfund.org. I walked right into that. Overheard.

Overheard. It's a segment on the show where if you hear it, we want to hear it too. It's only fair. And if you want to send one in, you can send it in to SBIY at maximum fun. dot org. I like to start with the guest. Bita, do you have an award?

I actually do for, I think, the first time in years. Nice. Okay, so I was at the Halifax YMCA, where I do take swimming lessons. Lessons? Learning to swim?

Yeah. I don't know how to swim. Is that okay? Really? Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. When did you, like,

when was your first swimming experience? What do you mean by that? I guess I don't, like, did you go in a pool as a kid Not knowing how to swim? No, I took lessons as a kid, but I just never stuck. I just like, when I was swimming, it was more like I was drowning. Yeah.

Yeah. And now you're taking them, you're learning all the strokes? Now I know the strokes. You know, Albert Hammond, Jr. You know, Julian Casablanches. You know, Nicolai Frachure. Yes. You know, Nick Valenci.

See, there's some stuff that's sticking. Yes. Fabrizio Moretti. Wow. Those are the facts you know. Those are the strokes I know. And breaststroke. And also the drummer breaststroke.

What's your favorite of the bigs? Well, I'm best at, what is it called, freestyle? Yeah. That's when you have to make up a rap verse. And you can go anyway. You want to go face down, face up. Yeah, I'm best at that. You know what I'm best at?

What? Kickboard. Oh, I love kickboard. You know what my teacher said? Okay, so I took, I took level three first. Whoa. When I first got to Halifax. I would have started level one.

What, okay. Well, I didn't need level one. I took level three, but it was too hard. Okay. So I took level two. Okay. And then my teacher in level two is like, why are you doing this class? You already know how to swim?

I just can't get the levels right. Oh, they should do it 2.5. Was it a different teacher than level three? 16-year-old teacher. Yeah, that happens. That's something that becomes just as you age the PGRN. There you go. What if your teacher was like, why are you doing level two?

You're actually an amazing swimmer. It turns out that they see something in you that no one ever. Yeah, you set a Canadian record. No, oh my gosh. Now that is a movie. That's somebody that doesn't know how to swim, but goes to the Olympics and they get adopted. Okay, okay. So I was in the change room and I heard, I've never, I'm nervous.

Why? I haven't done it overheard in so long. It's fine. It's been a year. Yeah. No, I don't think I did. I don't think I've done an overheard in maybe 15 years. What do you do when you come here when you do overheard?

I read tweets. Oh, that's right. Yeah. But hit it. This is the new. This is the new Bita. Okay. Okay.

So, okay. So, okay. So a mom and a child were changing. Mm-hmm. And then the mom was like. Uh-oh, you didn't get all the conditioner out of your hair. And then the daughter went, whoopsies! Great kid.

Yeah, great reaction. It's pretty good, right? It's okay, leaving a bit of conditioner in there. You're just going to brush it up. Probably good for your hair. Yeah. Yeah. All conditioners leave in conditioner if you're slacking up about rinsing.

Can I read a bunch of tweets? Can I read a tweet? Yeah. Are you still on Twitter? Yes, and I use it even more. You're still, I've bandaged. I know, everyone jumped off. I still like it.

But you know what's really good is nothing else. Nothing else, yeah. Nothing is taking his place. I'm on threads. That's what I do. I'm a blue sky guy and I open. Speaking of apps, I open all the time, I must open that once, twice a month. Right.

I'm on blue sky. Never, like, only have used it very sporadically. But I don't post on X anymore because. It doesn't give me anything in my feed that I want. It actually does. What are you talking about? It'll be like there's 25 notifications. It's like Charlie Kirk said it.

Oh, right. You know what I mean? It's just like. Yeah, I left because it was bad. I know. But I do like Charlie Kirk. I think he's kind of, I've been reading about him a lot and I know who he is. And you agree with his views.

And I hope nothing happens to the guy. That was a guy that when he got killed, I had to like. Quickly, Google. Like, who's everyone talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Could have been our next president. Our next president.

We don't live in the state. Not yet. Not yet anyway. What is your, read the tweet. Okay, okay. You know those old tweets that are like. Who, okay. What?

I'm explaining. I'm explaining. Okay. There's a setup. Okay. I thought you were looking at your phone and I was like, oh, is it, has it started? No, it hasn't started. Okay, you know, those old tweets that are like, um,

Oh, I'm... You're telling me a shrimp fried this right? No, no. That's good. Kind of, but those ones that are like, oh, a medieval child would die if you told him. Oh, if you read this sentence. If you read him this sentence. Right.

Okay, so this is a tweet. Okay. Medieval peasant staring at my phone. He says, fuck. Okay, wait, I'm so nervous. Okay. The stakes couldn't be lower. The peasant staring at my phone.

The peasant says, I understand this tweet just fine. And then the guy says, and the Dorito? That's the evil peasant crunching. It's all right. That's pretty good, right? Yeah, good characters. That made me laugh. You were always one of my all-time favorite tweeters.

I'm not really on there anymore. Like, I don't really tweet my. I don't have anything to say. Oh, neither do I. Has your, you know, in the last hours that we've been doing the show, has your fight or flight sort of like subsided yet? Um, uh, no, I've decided I'm going to be normal from now on. Oh, cool.

I can't wait. Is that where you told the nurses that were laughing at you? Okay, wait, can I say one more? Yeah. Okay. I got nowhere to be. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, I'll wait.

Wait. I will wait. Which one is good? But Mumford and sons? Here's one. I mean, those are the words. I don't think I got the melody. Oh, beat us ready.

Okay. Speaking of Charlie Kirk. Okay. I was raised on silk shirt R&B, so all that in cell shit never hit for me. I believe in begging for the pussy outside the rain. crying, throwing up. Oh my gosh. Just for a sniff.

That's your role as a man. Okay. And what do you guys think of that? I like that a lot. Who wrote that? Some guy. Okay. I feel like I had heard that one before.

Yeah. Because it's a, you know. A meme? No, I follow a few Instagram accounts that just like... Oh, just post tweets? Just a bunch of tweets. Basically, I'm only on a thing. threads because Chris Locke posts funny things of threads.

So he's about the only guy I kind of follow. I sometimes I'll open threads by accident because Instagram tricks me. Yeah. Oh, I know. Yeah. It's annoying that you have to download an app to see the threads. Yeah. I just want to see them.

Yeah. Let me see them. What am I going to do? Let me see them. If they're so good, let me see them. Dave, do you haven't overheard? Yep. So the Olympics are on right now.

Graham and I put out a bonus episode where we talked about it. 10 things we love about the Olympics. Man, that stuff is fun. But we didn't talk about it. It only happened after we recorded the podcast that there was a figure skater that did a minion thing. Oh, yes, I saw that. And he had a costume that looked like a minion. It was the soundtrack from the minions.

It was so silly. And you texted me last night and you said, what did you say? So they're like, the skater has done the minion. I just watched the skater do the minion dance. And I was like, speed skater or figure skater? Fair. Because what do you mean, the skater and the minion dance?

Like, they don't have a famous dance. I was trying to racking my mind. What does that look like? And how was it? It was awesome. Transcendant. What were his points? What were scores?

It wasn't, it technically was not big, but it was the most entertaining figure skating I've ever seen. Ever. Yeah. Damn. He was being silly. He was doing, you know, all the tricks and flips and all that kind of stuff. He did, yes, he did funny face. Wow.

And the commentators, they were killing themselves. They thought this was like the funniest. Oh, wow. They're like, this is going to be a thing where he's either going to get hundreds or zeros. Like, you love this or you don't love this. So I think the judges didn't like it. Is figure skating still judged or is it like one of those ones where you can see like the score go up as they, like, as they complete. No, what they do is like there's little circles that appear.

And if it's green, it means you nailed the whatever. And then if it's yellow, they have to review it. And if it's red, points taken up. Right. And if it's brown, flush it down. And then what about yellow? Let it mellow. Okay.

Okay. So I was watching the Olympics. And, of course, Lindsey Vaughn. Do you know this woman? No. So she's a skier. She was like, she won a bunch of medals here 16 years ago. Okay.

And now she's 40. Okay. And she took six years off from skiing and then came back last year and won a couple events. Oh, my gosh. So she's a downhill skier. She's American. But right before the Olympics, she tore her ACL or ruptured her ACL 100%. Like, not a partial tear.

Yeah. And she was like, I still think I'm going to do the Olympics. My gosh. And so she starts skiing and 12 seconds in. Wipes out. Stop. And you hear her screaming in pain. Like she probably shattered her way.

Oh my God. She had to be helicoptered off the mountain. What? Yeah. It was truly insane. If it wasn't so sad, it'd be so funny. Well, it's a little bit funny because you were clearly warned. Yeah.

Everyone said this was a bad idea and you were just to be a ski race, to be any kind of like super competitive athlete. Yeah. You have to be a psychopath or at least have to be a psychopath or at least have. have the ability to turn psychopath on. You don't have to be a psychopath 24 hours a day. I wish I could do that. I know. Well, that's kind of what your swim teacher saw in you.

But anyway, so she, I haven't heard any updates. I hope she's okay. I hope she's okay. But the, uh, I was watching the Canadian, um, broadcast. Have we won any golds as a, I don't think we want any today. Damn. But the. I'm sure the American broadcast had a different voiceover,

but the announcer on the Canadian one said this. Older ski racers know how hard it is to walk around when they're 60 years old because they've been beat up because of all those knee injuries. And now her dad, sitting next to Snoop Dog, has to watch this all unfold. Oh, what a sentence. What a sentence. Truly a bizarre situation. And, you know, the fact that in your hardest moment, you're seated next to Snoop Dog.

Yeah. That's so funny. He was being paid half a million dollars a day to be there. Yeah. That is a really funny image. Did you know the story during the Summer Olympics about Flav or Flav? No. He bankrolled the women's water polo team because they were having trouble getting funding.

So he was like... What a good guy. I actually just recently watched Flavie. They've loved. flavor of love. Yeah. And it was, it's raunchy.

It's, yeah, he really got down with, what was their name? New York? Oh, but he burned. Oh,

Bridget Nielsen. Oh, right. On like surreal life. Yeah. I love that. But it did give us New York. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Did she get her own show? I love New York. Yeah. Yeah. But then did somebody get a talk show? Isn't there?

She should have a talk show. I don't know who anyone is. Do you have it overheard? Yeah. Oh, hold on. Wait, did you hear about that guy, the Olympic guy? Do you think he threw his alarm clock out of the window? No, who won bronze and then told the world he cheated on.

Yeah, we're talking about that. That's crazy. Now, that's a psycho. Yeah. And he has, yeah, so he won bronze and his speech went for. And did you, like, he's was saying it in Norwegian, so you have to just take the subtitles word for it. it. But then he goes from like thanking, first of all he thinks the waxers, waxes skis.

Oh my God. And then his other competitors and teammates and family. And then he starts, his voice starts cracking. Oh, my God. Well, it's the silk shirt, uh, R&B. He's mad for it. But so he said, I cheated on my girlfriend three months ago. I met her six months ago.

I've madly in love with her. Then I cheated on her. And this is how she's finding out. on national standards. You did what? I would just want her back. And apparently they have both like release statements. And his was like, I probably shouldn't have said that.

And hers was anonymously because she knows who she is. Yeah. And she just talked to the newspaper in Norway and said, I don't know why he did that. This is, I don't want to be involved in this. Yeah. This guy sucks. Some people who know who I am have reached out. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, God. I think athletes are number one psychos and then comedians. I think number one psycho is like stock guy. Yeah, CEO, stock guy. You're right. Like that's, you know. And then athletes.

Then athletes for sure. And then comedians. Yeah. It is kind of funny that comedians are trying to be relatable to the audience, but in their own head, they're not anything like the people who they're talking to. you're right everybody is insane the more I think about it

the more insane What do you mean you're not like the people you're talking to Because you think your audience are scum Yeah Tell me why you don't do well

In small town You haven't overheard I do My I was on the train Everyone I think you're scum Get lost losers All right

Anyone who stayed You're the real of psychos. I was on the train and there was a couple of ladies that were headed to the Vancouver art gallery. Oh, yeah. And one girl was just buzzing. She was just so excited. I can't wait to go to the gift shop. Which is honestly one of the better parts of me.

Yeah. I don't know if ours is. I haven't been in the gift shop. A gift shop slabs. Yeah. There's often like an Einstein puzzle or something like that. Well, it's not a science museum. It would be more like a Monet puzzle.

I thought you were going to say, and one of the girls, she was busted. She was busted. She was a loser. What do you get? Yeah, the gift shop is... The gift shop's good. I think it's the same as every other art gallery gift shop.

Yeah. By a magnet. By a magnet. By the, like, statue of David. magnet, but then you can put clothes on them. Yeah, that's fun. Sounds awesome. Sorry, I'm trying to look for the overheard.

Oh, shit. I got it. I got it. Don't worry, I got it. No, we'll vamp. Here we go. Got it. So, Bita, what's your five-year plan?

Do this podcast. Once a year. Once a year. Don't forget you. We're just here. Do you do that? Do you plan? Like, I want to be somewhere in five years?

Or you're just like, ah, we'll see you when you get there? Who can? I wish I did that. I'd probably be much more successful. What do you think? Where do you think your eggs will be in five years? Five years? In an omelette.

That's why you're the egg comedian. She just knows how to do it. Hey, y'all'll ever freeze your eggs. Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a freezer eggs and then... Hey, yeah, I'm a let you finish, but McDonald's been one of the best bookmuffets of all time. Do you remember there being a meme about Breaking Bad, the like son, every scene he was in, he was eating breakfast?

Yeah. Like every scene he was in, Walter Jr. was eating breakfast and it became a big meme. I thought it was so funny. So that's who you're walking the footsteps of. Me and Walter Walter White's son? Yeah. Okay, awesome. You're the one and two of the egg game.

Now, we also have overheard sent into us. by people all over the map. Did you finish yours? Yeah. Yeah. She was excited about the gift shop. Oh. Let me talk about a gift shop.

Fuck, I'm sorry. That's why you can't do crowd work. Wait, what did you say? What are you? Have we met? Yeah, if you want to send one into us, you can send in to us. That's B.Y at maximum fun.org. And this first one comes with,

from Lizar from Toronto, sorry. Lizzo. Lizar. Lizar. It's Australian Lizzo. That's good. My son and I were out to dinner at our local pub and two men were having a conversation at the bar. I have no idea what the rest of the conversation was about.

Well, one of the men said loudly, so what? He put on a backwards hat and the forwards hat and he's Sherlock Holmes. Yeah. That is kind of the most famous. Yeah. What do you call it? Deer stalker? Yeah, I don't, I will not watch any adaptation that doesn't have the hat.

Frankly, I want Poirot to wear one, too. He wears a hat, right? Poirot? Yeah, does he wear a bollers on? I don't think he was a Deerstalker. Yeah, that's true. I don't know anything that you guys just said. No Sherlock Holmes is.

Don't, don't Goodfellas me. I know Sherlock Holmes, but then... You know his hat? Yeah. What is that called? A deer stalker? And Foxcatcher is a brand of wrestling. Right, right.

This next one's from Russell. Did that win best picture in the last five years? Which one? Foxcatcher. Man, that movie is so weird. They made a documentary about it, and then they made an adaptation about it where Steve Carrell plays the young, rich guy. He's got such a big nose.

It's very funny. Oh, yeah. They should do an Oscar retrospective. on big nose prosthetics. That is a way to win an Oscar. Just in Oscar bait. It was Bradley Cooper had it last year. Nicole Kidman had it.

Or was it Nicole Kidman? Yeah. In hours? Yeah. Did you say last year? No, I did. No, he did. I did about Bradley Cooper, but it might have been two years ago.

Yeah. It's, yeah, you're right. It is the shortcut. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. This next one comes from Russell from Anchorage, Alaska. I'm in Tucson, Arizona. sitting at a hotel pool and reading.

I just overheard two teen boys talking, is that gay to you, Joe, saving lives on 9-11? Is that gay? Oh, ma'am. Wow. Yeah. A lot of things are gay. Yeah.

9-11 is one of them. Yeah. Certainly the real heroes were the gay people. You know what? One time I told my boss I was... Never mind. No, come on. Okay.

Give us the goods. I told my boss I was getting deported. Not at your current job. At like two jobs ago. As a joke. What kind of place was this? It was a writing job. Okay.

But I told him I was getting deported and then I didn't realize it was on 9-11 that I told him. That's fine. I just saying being deported is very funny thing to tell you're a employer. I've got good news and bad news. They believed me. Yeah. And then did you have to leave that job because they... Because they believe me. Yeah. Started to go fund me.

How did it go? Um, oh, I had a funny thing I wanted to say. It's gone. About being gay? No. Oh, have you... This isn't funny, but I bet you have something to say about it. Have you watched heated rivalry yet? Yes. Yeah. Did you love it? I loved it.

I mean, yeah, I liked it. I started getting annoyed after a while. Those guys, it's like, okay. Okay, you're hot. Ugh. Do something else now. That's all it is, isn't it? It's just... It's mostly that.

Just steamy, soapy stuff. Yeah. And like... I hear they kiss. They save it for the last... They do more than kiss. That's right. They had a real will they won't.

Yeah, it starts out pretty quick. It does. It kind of launches right into it. And it's like fade. It's like, it's like fade out. Fade in. They keep like, it's like, oh, he's giving head. Fade out.

Oh, now they're really pounding each other. I feel like that's my sex life. It's like I'm constantly fading in and out. And then finding myself. Oh, my God. I'm getting pounded. What was I? What was I doing?

Oh, what was I doing? Oh, I was. I feel like before I faded out, I was, it was head time. Season two, I have an idea for the creator. Go on. Season two, make them ugly. Oh, you want to see some ugly, ugly boys? Yeah.

Yeah. Even their bodies? Yeah. Okay. You want them to look odd. But don't, don't people who are, like, really hot have to be kind of a little bit ugly? You know what I mean? So they're not, like, a generic.

No. Have you seen those boys? He's okay. Huh? A Russian guy, he's fine. What? Graham. What are you saying?

You don't say that. What are you saying? What are you talking about? They should make, yeah, they should just make it. Instead of hockey, it's chess, and they're just kind of ugly. Now, that is something I would watch. You still got a Russian guy. Yeah, is the season following is it going to be the same guy, or is it new guys?

It's based off a book. Well, it's based off a series of books, and some of them are about different characters that have different journeys. I think maybe season two is more about the older hockey guy. I don't know. I haven't seen season one, and I haven't heard anything about season two. Oh, okay. It's definitely getting a easy to do. I don't know how they're going to do it.

And my hat's off to them. I have good luck to the man who made the series. What was his name? Jacob. Oh, Tierney. Tierney, yeah. This last one comes from Bruce, from Rockland, Ontario. I was at the Bell Center for a concert recently.

I went into the men's room and there was a very long line of urinals. A father and his son, around six-year-old, was leaving. And the father said to his son, you're right. It is just like a urine factory. What do you think about it? Yeah. Hey, the urine factory called. Do you think that was what they were meaning?

Like something about that? Yeah. I think the John Mayer song, Your Body is a Wonderland, was originally, Your Body is a urine factory. Yeah, good lyrics. I mean, it is. Yeah. You're properly hydrated.

I mean, the human body is a urine factory. The bathroom at the bell center is just like. Collect it. Yeah, it's just like, oh, urine bottling. Yeah. Ew. Oh, what? That's gross now?

Bottling urine? Yeah. I actually had, I went to the hospital and they knocked me out and took some of my urine. Really? Yeah, froze it. You wouldn't give it to them away, okay? I don't know how. Do you remember when Kevin Lee was on the podcast and he was, he came out of, like, being sedated and he

was like, don't touch my essence or something like that, like my seed or something like that. Yeah, there rings a bell. Yeah, anyways. About his urine? No, just about. And additional orders that are written. And we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos. Send a voice memo to SPY at maximum fun.org.

You can record it on your phone and send it. Yeah. Or you can go to vokaroo.com. What's that? It's a website where you can record your voice. Oh, nice. And then, or call us at 1, 844-7-9-7631. That's one.

Ugh, SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham and possible guest. It's Jesse and Los Angeles. Hi, I was just at the dog park. And there was this Irish woman there. Maybe in her 30s had a look that was sort of, I don't know, Blossom meets Amelia Bidilia or something like that. Anyway, she's yelling into her phone about what I think wants to have been a girl's trip to Ireland, mostly talking about stuff they're going to do in Dublin.

And then she says, oh, and I think we're going to have a night in Belfast. Maybe we could stay in one of the old classic hotels. Like I was thinking maybe the Europa Hotel, very historical, most bombed hotel in Europe. So that's good. That's fun. Okay, goodbye. I love you. Oh, I love you too.

Hey, girls trip. Did you say girls trip? Yeah. Gotta stay at the place or the bombs and blah. Yeah. When was the last time you went on a girl trip? Bombs over Bell Fess. Do you take girls trips?

All the time. Those are the only trips I take, actually. Do you really? Yeah. Do we know your girls you go with? Ever heard of Amanda Jaring? No. Yeah, I know.

The Linsianne Pomerant's ever heard of us? Oh, yeah, that sounds familiar. Are you guys all stand-ups? No. We're nurses, primarily. We're nurses. All right, here's your next phone call. Hey, David Graham.

This is Chris from Pittsburgh. I'm just calling in and over her. I'm at Target and I'm picking something up. And this woman behind me goes, I am sick of celebrities. I have had it with all of celebrities. I just can't stand celebrities. Especially

Stevo What did Steveo do? That's the celebrity who hate That's the That's the You're inundated With Stevo stuff

I love Steveo He's one of the only Good things in the world I think he might be bad No No he's good He's good He was bad to himself

Yeah In his area Yeah he's He's I love all those Jackass boys Who is it They're saying

It's one of his favorite movies of all time. Damn, Steveo, you suck. People are calling the jackass star racist after his latest comments about illegal immigrants. Oh, no. Wait, but I knew that. That's why I like him. He's one of the only celebrities who says good stuff.

I'm just joking. Damn it, Steveo. He's a guy that you could go see in a comedy club. He's a guy who get you deported. You'd get me deported? Yeah. Yeah, right. Sorry, I lost my way.

And here's the final. You usually do by the end of an episode. Final phone call. Hey, Dave, Graham, and I'm going to guess Bita Judaki. This is Craig from Omaha calling in an overtard. I was on my way out of town on a flight to Chicago. And while we were waiting for the flight, I was sitting next to a mother and daughter, who's probably like early 20s.

And the mother said to the daughter, well, when we get to Chicago, it'll be 9.30 because they're an hour ahead. And the daughter said, when we get to Chicago, it'll be 9.30 because the flight takes an hour and it's 8.30 now. It's Chicago. It's not a different time zone. It's called Chicago Time. And then she said, you're a doctor, very pointedly. And her mom responded with a huff and said, well, I'm not a time doctor. Anyway, that's all. Off I go. How did you, do you find that? How did it end up being fetid? What's the magic? What are you behind the skee? Now that you're doing physical media, you're addicted to.

to have been behind the scenes future I want. That was sent in on January 17th, and I... Wow. I don't know if you had, at that point, told me that Bita would be on at some point. Yeah. I don't think so. I put a little... Who knows.

A little blue dot next to it. Wow. And then today, as I was collecting them, if I've already heard the overheard, and I just go through all my, like, the maybe pile of them, I'll just listen to the end of the calls, so I recognize. it. I've totally forgot that at the beginning of the college said beat us. Wow. I'm touched. Thank you who, whatever your name was. Greg from Omaha. Thank you, Greg from Omaha. Greg's a long time listener from like maybe year one. Holy shit. What if you found out that you're huge in Omaha? You don't know it, but everybody who loves you in Omaha. Somebody tell me. Somebody stop me. Somebody tell me so I can go and sell out. Is this like, what is it? Selling Sugarman? Finding Sugarman. Oh, right.

Oh, searching for Sugarman. Yeah. So he's, like, he's popular in South Africa? South Africa. Yeah. Yeah. And he doesn't even know it. Well, guys, I've had a great time.

Could you wrap it up for us, Peter? I'm sorry. Sugar Man. I feel like you guys were being really. It's got like four or five bangers on that album. Oh, hell yeah. You felt like we were really what? You guys were being really weird.

Yeah. We do that. We get. We get weird enough putting whenever you're here. I really just feel like you guys phoned it in today. Oh, sorry about that. And I was riffing so hard. So hard.

Well, thanks to the people of Australia for letting us for years of laughter. Bia. Yeah. What do you have coming up? Where can people see you? Okay. So actually, I have a. show in two days.

Okay. On February 25th. Yeah. Right? Because this will be out on the 23rd. This will be out probably closer to the 24th. So it's tomorrow. So tomorrow.

In Halifax. So sorry, I spent literally 10 minutes talking shit about your city. But just the winter. But please come to the show, 25th, bus stop theater. Me and some other people from the show, 22 minutes.

This hour has 22 minutes. Yeah. It's been on for 300 years. You were riffing really well. Yeah. Who is this character? I love this character. Sorry.

And then please also, if you can find it in your hearts to follow me on Instagram, my career would really love that. What's your handle these days? Beta, beta, beta, beta, beta, beta. Beta, beta, beta, beta. Like me, please. We all like you. All of our listeners like you.

It sounds like that. It comes with strings attached. We'll like you, but. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. And next time I'll be so much more normal and interesting and actually talk. Yeah. You just got to get out to this comedy.

You know, you guys talk like really fast. Yeah, we're sort of like the micromachine guy. We do. Well, we're fast talkers. You know, that's awesome. because you're best friends. Yeah. How does the best friend song goes?

You're my queen. Oh, right. Best friends. I believe that was written by the bass player about his wife. Aw, that's nice. Probably cheated on her. Yeah. Wife guy.

Why did he probably cheat on her? Because he's a wife guy. Oh, he's a wife guy. Oh, because he likes her too much. She wrote a song. I might be wrong about what it's about. And who wrote it. Fine.

I'll never look it up. Thank you so much. Thank you everybody out there for listening. If you're going to do one thing this week, follow Bita. It's Bita, Bita, Bita. Please. She needs this. And, but just so you know, in the Bohemian Rhapsody movie, the guy who played the bass player for Queen was the kid from Jurassic Park.

Wow. Oh, shit. Okay. Really cool. Keep that knowledge close to your heart. Come on back next week for another episode to stop podcast of yourself. Maximum Fun A worker-owned network

Of artist-owned shows Supported directly by you