Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 939 - Tim Gray

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

Comedian Tim Gray returns to talk ceasing and desisting, pro soccer, and concert seating. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody. Welcome to episode number 939 of Stop Podcast Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who he needs a couple hours of more slumber to get it right on track, Mr. Dave Schumka.

Oh, boy, don't tell the whole world. Why don't you? Well, you don't lack in beauty, so you don't need that much beauty sleep. You look great, Dave. Oh, that's very good. I agree. This one, okay. This one's coming out right around St. Patrick's Day, so you're all getting a pinch.

Because I don't see. You all, you have some green. What's the minimum green that you can have before the pinching sets in? Oh. Like if you had just like a green in some, or flex of green and something? Yeah, could you take out, like, check it out. I died my pubes. Oh, I mean, that counts for sure.

I tell you get drink for free on St. Patrick. Don't pinch me. You were just about to pinch me, but then I think just enough. Just a little hint. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Can you wear? Yeah, I think you have a shirt from your beloved band Poison. And it has a snake coming out of a skull's mouth.

Yeah. Or is the skull throwing up a snake? Yeah, it's one of those things. It's like, who's on first? Yeah, who's whom and who? I think you can get away Yeah, that's green enough. Yeah, okay.

If someone pinched you, you'd be like, motherfucker? Yeah. Either do it downstairs or not at all. That's what I say. Yeah, where are you pinch? On the arm? On the cheek?

Can you pinch? Well, you know, you can't pinch an inch on me because I... That's true because you're so big because I special K. That voice you hear. He's a returning guest to the podcast, one of the all-time greats.

He has his own podcast. out called Prairie Dogs, E-A-W-S-G-S. It's Tim Gray, hello. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, my God, he's a prairie wolf. Prairie dogs! That's a good theme. Is that the theme?

Yeah, it is now, I think. Yeah, it's got to be right. Is it out now, or is this? It's out now. It's live. It's hosted by Tyler Katowski and Tyler Penner, two funny comedians who host at Rumors Comedy Club in Leipag. And I'm the producer and then I jump in and I do some stuff as well.

You got used to have a podcast where you were the host. Now you got demoted? I know. Well, you know what? I just, I needed to get back in the podcast game. You guys know. You get away from the mic for too long. You just start going crazy.

That's true. We do sometimes leave the mic for six days. And the audience, they know. They can hear it. Absolutely. But, you know, some are just, that's just the way it is, you know? Yeah. It's, you know, not everything could be a dog.

There you go. Oh, my name is. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I made a G today, but I made it in a sleazy way. Yeah. I was trying, I was trying to read for any lyrics. Should we get to know what? Yes.

Get to know us Get to know us There is One of the great laughers We've had a string of great laughers On the show Yeah Oh yeah

We had Bita, we had Alicia Now we have Tim Oh yeah I guess the next one we need to get Is on the Mount Rushmore of laughter Laffery Lafers They're like

The Jackalope From America's funny as people The jackalope You know Some giant that goes Who Santa Santa

Santa, yeah yeah Is FIFE Is he a laugher? He He smells the blood of an Englishman. Right, right, right, right. How is he going to make his bread, though? I can't remember.

I don't know. P5.O.com. He has to grind the bones to make his bread. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we cut off Tim there. He was saying B5.com. Don't rule with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I smell all kinds of bodily fluids. Tim, how are you? I keep trying to climb up this. Fine, like, he's slipping down. What is this? Oh, sorry, that's V-5.com. I apologize. I was Jack and my beanstalk.

And that's fun. Tim, you're from, you're from Winnipeg, you left Winnipeg, and you ended up in Winnipeg. Isn't that the way it goes sometimes? Isn't that the way it goes? I made a G today. But how'd you make it? It's a leasy way. Oh, shit.

I lived in Toronto for a little bit. And did you miss Winnipeg so much or why the boomerang effect? I did. I did. Toronto was a very difficult place to establish yourself, I feel. That was one of the difficult things. Not for Vladdi Guerrero. No.

Well, you know, it did take him a little bit. Man, that's true. He considered going back to Winnipeg. This is a hockeyman? No. This is a baseball man. This is a baseball man. She's wearing a hat from the American League champion.

Yes, that's right. Blue Jays. Yeah, that's exactly right. American League champion in Toronto Blue Jays. You might remember it was a very famous clip when Vladimir Guerrero Jr. hit the home run. And then after they beat the Yankees in the American League series, he's on TV and he's talking to Big Poppy. And then he's going, the Yankees lose. I don't remember any of this.

I remember the ball getting stuck under that wall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the next series. But yeah. That's, yeah, that's all I remember, though. Was there another memorable? That was a funny one. Like, that's going to be on blooper reels for the rest of time.

Yeah. Well, I think it's a sad moment for a lot of people. Wow. One team for one. Yeah. Country. What's your favorite all-time baseball blooper? For me? Well, maybe it's the bird.

Oh, Randy Johnson and the bird. The bird with the bat? Yeah. Oh, no, the pitcher. Oh, the ball, right. What are the odds? This pitcher throws it. It was fastballs going like 90 miles per hour.

Well, the other birds dared him, and that's, he's kind of the Johnny Knoxville. It was the same bird that broke Fabio's nose on the roller coaster. Yeah, and then also made Solie's career. Yep. Birds. My favorite baseball blooper is from, I'd say, the early 90s. A minor league player, I believe, Vancouver Canadian, chasing a fly ball and running through the fence, because it's a minor league park. Oh, yeah.

It's just plywood. Flywood. Isn't there, I may be just making this up in my head, is there one where a ball gets stuck in the umpires mask? Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, yeah. It's kind of a, like, where did it? Ah, it's in the Ups mask.

Oh, geez. I saw a funny one yesterday where a guy was, like, sitting behind the, the, the, like, city behind the home base or whatever. So the pitch comes off, it goes off the bat and it's flying towards him in the stands, but there's the netting there. So he's safe. But his drink is right on the ledge and it just smokes this like can of beer. And the way the beer like turned, it just like was over top of him and just like absolutely

drenched him. I mean, honestly, blooper wise, just funny video wise, somebody getting soaked. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty funny. Pretty funny. I mean, I think we could just reminisce about sports bloopers. Yeah, we could.

I like the one with where Patrick Stephan of the Dallas Stars has an empty net. The goal he's been pulled. And no one's between him and the net. And he just walks right up to it and whiffs on it. And the Oilers take the puck down the other way and score. Score it up tight up. Oh, there's a lot of those great ones where the person hasn't thrown the ball down in the end zone. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And then suddenly drops it and runs the whole way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are, every time I seem so satisfying. Because they're always doing a little bit of a little bit of a taunting motion right before they get to the end zone. Yeah. Yeah, it's really like, be. Hubris.

Hubris. How do you score that in your scorecard? The one nerd who's keeping track. Have you ever died your hubris? Yeah, just for Valentine's. Well, I'm. Right red. I've died pink on Valentine's, green, St. Pax Day, kind of like a light purple.

Black in February. Right and blue on July 4th. Orange and black in Halloween. Halloween in November, just a classic gray. A solemn. Yeah, just a solid gray. A solemn, yeah. And then you know what's coming next.

Red and green. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you have to, if you had a darker pub, would you have to bleach it first, then create a color or would you just I don't know how hair dyeing works because I've never done it Yeah

Because your pubs are so bright Yeah They are It's like a light brighter A darker pub Not like me Frigin Zack Morris down there Must be nice

My feathery blonde Pousa down there I uh Where a leaky faucet that's great I don't know I think you'd have to diet How's your cough?

Oh yeah Pretty good I thought it was more or less out of the way But I still got a little bit of a lingering cough here So I apologize to the listener From the bottom of my heart We'll see what we can do about that in the edit I'll get the producer of prairie dogs

to go through that Tim, what brings you to town? I'm on a stand-up comedy tour-ish. Okay, what do you call the tour? The tour is from here to there. From here to there. Tim Gray, 20-20-s. Yeah.

Okay. Kicking off the year with a little bit of a tour. It's so nice to do stand-up. I love doing stand-up. Yeah. It's the best. Do you find that sometimes you're like, I just want to do a set,

but every show is like, this is the theme of this show is da-da-da-da. You don't even get to do. the stand-up? Yeah. How did I end up on this all-Asian show? I just want to do a set.

Now I got to... They're not even doing sets. Like, oh, this is a nightmare. No, wait. I just want to do a set. Now I have to come up with my Asian material. I have to do all of my Asian material. No.

Secret Asian joke. Ah, nice. Good. Nice. That's good. It doesn't hurt anyone's feeling. It's fine. So you're doing comedy, stand-up comedy here, you're doing it in Victoria.

Yeah. You see you're doing it in. I was just in Ottawa just last week, and then I was in Toronto the week before, hosting at a club in Toronto, hosting a club in Ottawa. And then I got a couple shows in Vancouver, and then I'm hosting shows at Hecklers in Victoria, Friday and Saturday. And are you in Ottawa? Where were you emcee again? I was at Absolute Comedy Club. So Absolute Comedy Club.

in its the kind of its reputation is that everybody does very well at the audience audiences are incredibly hot

yeah that's been the reputation yeah to the point that if you see somebody up until I was there oh they suddenly turn cold yeah I put an end of that kick them off their

fucking high horse but did you find I found that you know the last show on the Sunday It was like just lights out. Like I feel like you could have, I could have just, I could have done only my Asian jokes. And which are more anecdotes than anything. Words of warning.

No. Yeah, this Sunday show is just like, makes you feel so good. And you know that old like stand-up adage where like a hot crowd makes you elaborate and a bad crowd makes you edit. Yeah. Wow, I've not heard that adage. You never heard that? Yeah. It's, yeah.

So like there were some crowds in that. week in Ottawa where I was like whoa I really got to cut that don't I it's not going to work at all yeah yeah there was some tough crowds but overall it's just like such a that that little comedy club I think it only seats like 150 or something like that just the layout is really nice the staff is just like they're hammered on to like they're hammered hammered they're absolutely hammered and they're like look how much fun I'm having you guys should get hammered too that's how they move so much alcohol yeah things are just loose I might forget to drop the check Do they in Ottawa, is everyone like, do Justin Trudeau and Katie Perry jokes?

We love them. I did write one for that week, just about, just like Justin Joe is literally living my teenage dream. Ah, good. The song, excellent. But yeah, you know, it's funny. You do like crowd work in Ottawa as half the time every time you talk to somebody, they're going to be like, so what do you do for work? Government. Yeah, agency.

government. That's all the government. And then they Starbucks next to government. Yeah. Yeah. I went to the, so my daughter was in the hospital, she broke her arm a few weeks ago. Boy, boy, made my life story. By the time this episode's out, she's

out of the cast. Yeah. It's twice as strong as she used to. She's built it back. Rookie of the year. Looper reels. Funky butt-loving? And, but there's a Starbucks in the hospital. Oh, nice. And I went over to it and it was, like, it was like Grand Central Station.

There's a one. Oh, yeah. You know how sometimes, you go to Starbucks and there's like a place they put your online order or whatever. Yeah. Separate. They had one person whose whole job was just organizing things. And she'd see a doctor coming from far away. Hey, I got your coffee.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Yeah. Wow. Wow. It was real, uh, everyone knows your name kind of thing.

I've never been in a hospital with a brand name cafeteria or coffee shop. I think a lot of them have Tim Hortons. Um, not the ones I've been to. I've been to a lot of rough hospitals, though. Yeah. You always go to the outskirts of the city.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like they're, you know, you're doing a hospital tour this year. I'm doing a hospital tour.

Um, I'm going to have, my appendix taken out, put back in. Yeah. Flip it around. No, you're racing it from one city of the other. No, I have to get there before my appendix.

Otherwise, it won't work. If you take, if somebody has their appendix removed, how does somebody, like, reference where to find what? Oh, okay, never mind. Oh, sure, yeah. You know, in a book, there's an appendix, sure. Come on. Now, what is an appendix, what's an index and what's an appendix?

indexes at the front and appendix is at the back. And glossary? Is that like a little, all the words? Glossary is the words. That's the thing. That's in the back. That's in the back. But then what are, uh, acknowledgements are in the back?

Uh-huh. Yeah. Dedications in the front. Forward epilogue party in the back. These are all parts of the book I don't read. This 300-page book just became 288. Yeah, nice. And if I don't read the reviews on the back, all the better.

A little life hack. I like it when there's a review of somebody that I'm sure is very famous in that particular book field. But it just sounds like, I don't know. Gannis Hooper likes him. Whatever you say, Sanjay Gupta. Go off, Sanjay. So you're on a tour. I especially like it in a cookbook where if it's like, oh, this is either a famous chef or a really fat guy.

Yeah, they talk to a fat guy. you mind blurbing my book? You look like he eat a little bit. I was on Facebook Marketplace. Whenever I'm in a new city, I like to go on Facebook Marketplace to see what's for sale in that area. Like I was in Atlanta last year. And on Facebook Marketplace, you could get gold grills. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I will come to your place and, like, do the molds and stuff like that. And it's only a couple. I mean, I should have done it. Yeah. But here in Vancouver this morning, I was looking at. found Seinfeld Cookbook.

Based on the show? Based on the show, Seinfeld. We're talking soup Nazi. We're talking about... Because it's his wife... His wife wrote a cookbook. Okay. I get his wife and Alec Baldwin's wife

all mixed up. And his... The rumor is that his wife stole the idea from another person and then the person tried to sue and Seinfeld was like, I'll sue you into the ground. Oh, wow.

Because the idea was like how to make meals that are filled with good nutritious food that then the person eating it wouldn't know. So it's like, you know, like, this was years ago. I know, but also like, like, cashew cheese. Like, no one's buying your book. People are buying the book that. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, I know what you mean, but you're buying. No one reads a cookbook. Yeah, that's true. Did you get it? I didn't. No, I was going to, I was trying to think of like, I've thought of you. I was, this is terrible, but I was thinking of a gift to bring for you guys.

Oh, that would have been. It's terrible because I hate like, hey, guys, guess what? I was going to bring you a gift. Isn't that nice that I always do that? I could use some grills. So the guy would come over, do the molds, and then go away, and then how long does it take to make a grill? Good question. I should have looked into a little bit more.

Sorry, I feel bad. I defended Jerry Seinfeld's wife. She also left her husband for Seinfeld. I'm not defending her. I'm just saying logically speaking, no one's buying your book. Other person. Also, I mean, you'll never guess who writes the foreword. Ted L. Nancy?

George Costan. I'm trying to think of what food would be from Seinfeld. I know. Well, I was looking at the picture to try to suss what it would be. And, like, you know, a few silly Jerry. There's an image of that. And there was the pretzels. Pretzels make me thirsty.

these. Yeah. Black and white cookie. Cinnamon bag. Yeah. Maybe that was the loaf of bread, that rye. Oh, the marble rye. Yeah.

No, it's a big food show. A yogurt that will make you fat. Yeah. It's got to be like probably six pages of cereal. Papaya. Oh, papaya. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, these aren't things that you would prepare.

No. The peaches, where are the peaches from? They weren't Rockford peaches. Maconaw. Maconaw. Macon. That's great. Seinfeld's great.

What a great show. Great show. Great show. We have to say that, or he'll sue us into the ground. You know what? I want Seinfeld to sue me. There you go. That'll put me on the map.

That'd be a nice, yeah, feather in the cap. Yeah. Seinfeld. I'll sue you. On your show poster. Cease and desist. I'm sorry things didn't work out with his earlier girlfriend. Can't see why.

I can't imagine. Did I ever tell you I got a cease and desist from Peter Nygaard? No. Famoused, uh, sex test or worst. Yeah. Human trafficker. Yeah. And Canadian fashion design.

And Jean Queen. Now, I recall not that long ago going to Winnipeg and there's still being a giant ad in the airport. Oh, really? Peter Nygaard. That's all gone now. Peter Nygaard for people unfamiliar is a Canadian fashion. designer who looks crazy.

He looks insane. Yeah, I mean, he had a big old store in the middle of Times Square, too, in New York City. And I know. I think the clothes were like, you know, for sassy old ladies. Yeah. Middle age women. And, yeah, I don't like. Pantsuits.

I don't, I didn't go too deep on his story other than, uh, I believe women. I think. Yeah. Yeah. He made most of his money off jeans for women, I think. Oh, my God. Wait, women can wear jeans too. I know.

But where do they put? the vagina. And how do they fit properly without a penis? It doesn't make any sense. What side of the leg do they put the vagina? What was the cease and desist? Well, we had a cable access TV show in Winnipeg, called Week thus far back in the day when we would do,

we would have, we would do, we were trying to do like a Wayne's World type thing. We'd have a guest in a band and we would write, we would write like 15 jokes. about the like news desk style or weekend update style. Mm-hmm. And I wrote this. We also had a website that looked like a newspaper kind of thing. And I wrote this,

this joke for the TV show about Peter Nygarde because it was, um, like people already knew that in Winnipeg that he was a fucking creep. Like it was no secret there. Uh, but then some story came up of him in his like, Cayman Islands, his neighbor getting to a fight about him destroying the property or something. like that anyways. So I wrote a joke about that story and just how a bunch of a creep he is.

I forget what the joke was because it was like 16 years ago. And, uh, and then, and then after the joke aired, I wrote this letter like, um, like a editorial as Peter Nygaard to us being like, like, how dare you make jokes about me? I'm so much stronger than you. I will destroy you. I am, I am all powerful. I am. Nygaard. I am Naigard. I am Naigard.

And you didn't like that? Yeah, he didn't like that. No. Yeah, and his lawyer sent me a cease and desist, and I was so happy. What a bitch. So happy. A cease and desist is just like, stop it or we'll sue. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stop over my mom will sue. Isn't that? Just tickle be pink that he had to spend whatever amount of money for a lawyer. to draw that up and send to me. Like, to me, that feels like a win. It's huge win. You want to be on the right side of history that you got a season to say,

not an approved to go ahead. Continuing more. He wrote the blurb for my book. Forward by Peter Tiger. This guy gets it. So you're touring? When's the last stop of the tour before you head back? Or do you head back?

Yeah, I'm heading back. Okay, all right. I was thinking about just forever living on the road trying to do. It's a lot of organizing. But I would like to do that at some point. I try to do like a 50 days, 50 shows and 50 days kind of thing. We had years ago a guest named Glenn Wool. And for a long time, he was functionally homeless.

Yeah. But was just on tour. Every day of his life. Yeah. Yeah. If he ever had a day off, it was just hotel or friend's house. Right, right, right. He literally, everything he owned was in a house.

Was he the most hungover guest we've ever had? I mean, he's got to be top three. But he was very hungover. It was worrisome. You can smell it? No, he was like one. He had to take a break. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So living out of his suitcase was going great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, he had gone to a Canadian Football League game. Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I met Glenn Wool in 2010 in New York City. He's great.

He's so funny. Nice guy. I was at New York City. I went for a salsa convention. The dip or the dance? I guess salsa is a dip. I just would never think of it. I think of it in its own class, but it is a dip.

It's a dip, but you have to, you can't dip and pull out. No, it's true. Diff and drag. Diff and drag. It's more of a drag. More of a scoop. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean like, but yeah, if you have a dip that you do have to drag across, like a hummus or something like that. Do you like? Hummus a dip. K-so? Hummus is a dip, but it's also a spread. Spread. That's the other way. I get a spread, yes.

I've been into, I've been really into using hummus as spreads on sandwiches lately. It's a game changer. I've been doing it myself as well. Ooh. Which is nice. I, uh, I did it yesterday. I got some homemade. sourdough.

I got it from the sign-held. You got some homemade. I made homemade sourdough, but then I put one layer of hummus, one layer of olive tapinand. Oh, so salty so young. Nice, yes, yes, yes. Don't tell, uh, was it Nur Hadid,

Adidi? Oh, that it was, uh, like a flavored. Yeah, well, you know what? The hummus is the hummus on its own. It's a classic hummus. Uh, but, uh, she doesn't like a flavored hummus. Yeah, she doesn't like a flavored hummus. Yeah, she doesn't like,

barbecue flavor of our hummus. Get everything out of our hummus. I feel like Bita had a joke about flavored hummus at some point. I remember, I think. No. I don't know. Anyways. Let's go to the tape.

Graham idea for a debate. You know what? It's actually on the list of possible ideas. I guess who pitched it. This guy. What's your favorite nacho chip shape? Is it the scoop? I am a sucker for the scoop, to be honest with you.

I like the little scoop chips. Not my favorite brand. I don't like the flavor the most. But the lacquino's scoop is, yeah, the lacuchina. Is that a Winnipeg company? Yeah. But do they have them out here? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are so good. But, you know, they're very fickle. They fall apart pretty easily. They do. They have the scoopish shape. They do have a scoopy triangle, but they're not. Scoopy long triangle.

They're not strong. You know, sometimes. you'll get a chip that No, please. There's no wrong way to have a body. Say the word, I'll put it away. I see you've got a decorated for Cinco de Mayo. Red, white, and green.

Yeah. He just was able to get the Chinese New Year one off just at some time. Um, the, uh, uh, sometimes you get a, uh, chip that's folded over and that makes a good little tube. Oh, yeah. Those are the best. Those are fun. Yeah, because then you fill that thing right up.

Oh, yeah. Cheese in a can. Yeah. Right in the middle of it. Have you, I've never done that. Cheez in a can. No. Have you done?

No. I have. I feel like it took years off my life. Yeah. What is it? What's it tastes like? Just like cheese whiz. She's whiz.

But what does it have like air? Is it like, uh, because I'm big on whipped cream in a can. Yeah. Yeah. Is it like... It's not whipped cheese. But think about that. Wipped cheese in a can.

That could be a good... It's all I'm thinking about now. You ever get, they do a whipped cream cheese. Okay. In a tub. Yeah. But I don't... I never had it.

That's got to be a scam. Yeah. Yeah. Just sell me the cream cheese. I'll whip it myself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're just selling me air.

Yeah. I'll just put it in my... I'll get my nitrous oxide canisters. One for me. One for you. well one whippet whiper whiper real good

Tim have you ever done whipets oh yeah yeah of the people I know I would have got good money on did you work in a place where you had access to

no it's so easy to get it's super easy to get I did it as an adult very funny comedian Benji Rothman for his birthday a couple of years ago we rented a sheet of ice and we all went and played hockey and it was super fun and then afterwards in the dressing group we did whip it

instead of champagne instead of beer champagne yeah they should do that the Olympic team just like like upside Damn. When I was in college, my dorm on campus, like on the school store, they sold the canisters.

Oh, wow. And two guys would like routinely do it and I witnessed them. I've talked about this before. And it scared me so much because it was like for a minute. They would lie on their couch upside down with their heads hanging off. Oh, they're going extreme with them. And be brain dead. Like nothing behind their eyes for a minute and then come out giggling.

Oh, that doesn't sound fun to me. It was like a scared straight program. Yeah. For me. My only, it's like, for me, it's like seven, ten seconds or whatever. And you just get lightheaded, then you feel silly. And you like kill so many brains cells. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got too many brain cells, though, you know. Keeps me up in that. This reminds me of Have either you guys listened to John Doer And his sister's podcast?

Yeah On my to-do list He did a thing And it seems like something he would do here on the podcast Where he's talking about getting a concussion And then started telling the same story over again Over again, six times on the fuck It's a classic John Dorr bit

That's classic I still think about his bit of I don't know if he still does it But when I saw him when I did shows with them years ago, it was about, if you want to talk to me after the show, don't do it.

Just kidding. No, but if you want to talk to me after the show, don't do it. Then I want to go, don't do it. John's really funny. Yeah.

Tim, you're reading in cold blood. Yeah. And is this, is this first kind of entry into true crime? reading. I've only read a couple myself and I find it grisly. Yeah, I, I am not a true crime guy. I don't like any kind of crime stuff, really. I feel like life is full of things to make you sad. I don't need to go to the heart to draw out more of that. But I've been, I've been trying to read as many books as I can this year. And this was just, I did a book swap with somebody. Because I read this book about Hell's Angels by, um, There's two of them. Andreessen. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. And so my friend, well, Tyler Panter, who was one of the hosts of the Prairie Dogs podcast, I just asked him if you wanted to do a book swap if he has one way and around. Yeah.

So he, he swapped me this one for that Hells Angels book. And, um, yeah, I don't know, uh,

it's, it's, it's, it's, well written. I've never written, I never read anything from Truman Capote before. Yeah.

And I like the way the story is all playing out. But the story itself, like I just, I don't really go for that. The last book I read was from sham god. You know the basketball player God Sham God? No. He like invented like a crossover move in basketball.

Anyways, like I just read. How many chapters was that? Oh my gosh. He's like the forest gump of basketball kind of thing. Like his life intertwines with so many iconic events or whatever. He grew up with like notorious B.I.G. and Mace and Cameron in Brooklyn, New York and whatnot. Shit.

And so he's got a lot of crazy stories, but you can totally tell. It was just like a voice memo somebody transcribed. Like, you know, I read it in a day. Just like super easy, super interesting. Does Winnipeg have little neighborhood libraries that people put books out? A little bit. Some of the neighborhoods, it's not spread across. But yeah, yeah, we got some of those.

Yeah. Vancouver's lousy with them. You got them everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have you guys had, uh, was it? Oh, Nick, uh, no, uh, Adam Christie. Yeah. Yeah.

Super funny past guest. Super funny guy. He posted a video on his Instagram of like reviewing, uh, books that he found in the, in the, in the free library around his neighborhood. And, uh, the top five of the top five, like three of them are dog poop. bag. So funny. I haven't,

no one's done that that I've witnessed. Dog poop in the, yeah, I can't think of anything. Yeah, it's more disrespectful. Yeah,

yeah. There was somebody left one outside of my building the other day and it's like, what, but why? A bag? A bag?

A bag of shit. A bag of shit. Yeah. And I was just like, yeah. I was like, there's, you could have gone around the back.

There's tons of garbage cans back there. Yeah. But why? why not just leave it on the street? Why put it right in front of a building? Like, now this is your problem. Yeah. Speaking of garbage, garbage.

Have you noticed in the last month or two apartment buildings have gotten a pink bin? Yeah. A bright pink bin next to all their blue bins. Really? That is for soft plastics. Soft plastics, which is what you call your penis. And like I said, just say the word, I'll put it away. Yeah, no, it's exciting.

It's an exciting addition. What is, have you, did you get like a memo from your superintendent? It was on the, uh, they're just going to be full of sex dolls. The Reddit, uh, Vancouver thread. Because it's like, big news, everybody. We just, we don't have them. There's no program for that in our home. Um, but so what kind of stuff?

Like about balloon? Yeah, balloons, old balloons. Milar and otherwise. You know, like any kind of jug? No, like rap or Oh, you know, that kind of like. Oh, Saran.

Yeah, like stuff that's Saran rap. Serran rap. It was my sarin rap. I put it me all on a food. And I'm rude. The streets, everybody. I was afraid you weren't

going to be able to rhyme it. But you went there, you got it. I landed the plane. In the Hudson's River. Yeah, no. pink garbage can. We're super excited about it. That's awesome.

And I mean, the thing is, and I've heard this from a scientist that was interviewed, they're like, well, how do you recycle soft plastics? And he's like, we don't. You burn them. You incinerate. Yeah. Yeah. There's no, there's nothing that you can turn them into. I guess they're just like backtracking the sorting as far as they can go.

So you put them in there and they take them and they burn them? Presumably. What? Can they fold them into a big wad? Yeah, they can make a big wad. Maybe the world's biggest wad. Well, still working on it, folks. Yeah.

It's got one of those government plaques like, Promise Delivered. Yeah. Mission accomplished. Project Wad. Get on board with Project Wad. You're Gen Z. This is the Wad of our generation.

So, like, the, speaking of, like, back alley, whenever I take out cans, I, like, set them aside. Don't put them in the container bin. so anybody wants to pick them up. Yeah. Easy peasy. Because in BC, it's not just beer cans. It's any kind of aluminum.

Any kind of can. And also, uh, milk jugs? Milk, yeah. Milk cartons. Okay. Cartons. You can get, you can get, uh, paid for jugs. You get paid for carton.

Yeah. Yeah. You get carton. For jugs. You get carton. Pay for jugs. Cash for jugs. Yeah, it's a lot of ads for cash for jugs.

But like, one eight, seven, seven. in cash for jugs. Donate your jugs today. Hell, you know, I want to support those kids. Kitties. But like, so I put those out, and then I also put out, you can get, like, a type of brand of milk that comes into, like, a kind of thick glass bottle. Yeah.

Okay. Those are worth a buck. Okay. You got to take it back to the store, but those are worth the buck. This guy takes all the cans. Leaves them there. like they're just common trash. I was like, you gotta know.

Yeah, left the bottles. I feel like it is a... Not known? He knows his business. Like, he's got, he's carrying the stuff around with them. Weight-wise, right. But if you, you picked him there. A couple blocks away, there's a store.

They'll have to give you the refund. Oh, no way. The same. Four bucks. Right down where you live and I'll make sure that gets taken care of. I used to work in a... I'll draw you, Matt. Yeah.

I used to work in a neighborhood that was, uh, it was, uh, it was, It was a house, but it was like a home office. And it was right next to a bottle return depot. And it was a chaotic place to be. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Smells and sounds. Yeah, yeah. Man sound.

Yeah. When I was a kid, I remember that being like a big day when we take all all the empties that have been sitting there for like two months worth or three months worth. Yeah. And sort of them, oh, that smell is locked in my, if I smell that kind of like stale beer on cardboard. Yep. And it's a very specific.

takes me back right away. I mean, I loved it because it was associated with coinage, yeah, exactly. You got, uh, you got some of that? I got, oh yeah, yeah, we, uh, like the, your dad would take all the kids, like with the three of you. Yeah.

And then we'd splitcies. Okay. But, you know, it was like saving up for quite a while. We're in, we're in a weekly or monthly. Yeah. Yeah. Which I think is fine. Um, I get, I, I, I just put all mine out.

So I, but we get those little pop cans. Oh, yeah. Are they worth the same? I think so. And they're cute as hell. Yeah. You can pretend you're Andre the Johnny. Yeah.

B-5. Oh. Call. He knows when to bring back the classics. Yeah. Yeah, Manitoba is so far beyond in any kind of like, responsible garbage management. Do you do?

Recy. have recycling. You can cash in for empty cans of beer, but you can't, there's no, which seems ridiculous to me, you know, because aluminum is a damn near precious metal. It should be able to. So only beer and not soda or? Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Really? What about White Claw? They will take coolers. All right. Okay. All right. We've got a party. Yeah.

What about Finnish long drink? I saw this thing called Finnish long drink advertised on the boards during COVID And it wasn't a direction Yeah He finished that long during

Before you start another And it was It was on the board during COVID During NHL NHL hockey games And I was like What is Finnish long drink And it was not available anywhere

And it was this was on Canadian Broadcast And then They're priming up the market Or maybe it was available in Ontario or something, but I'm just not here. And then years later, I found them in stores, and I bought them, and they're, they're like a very citrusy cooler.

Okay. Very lemony. And I was like, wow, these are great. Is it a tall can? They both, tall, and you can get a six pack of short regulars. Short stubbies? And then I, um, I had, I had another one recently and I was like, wait, this is just a smyrna off ice. Yeah.

Good name, though. Good branding. Yeah. Sticks in your brain. Finish long? Uh-huh. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Oh, boy.

Did we talk about the pink things? The pink recycling bin, yeah. I like that they made it a very distinct color because, like, all the other ones are blue, but I also feel like green is in the running. You know, they... It is so just, like, it really pops. Yeah. You have compost here.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a green one. So you do compost? You do garbage. And we do recycling. And then now we have soft plastics. Soft plastics.

Ficturing the mix. And there's a separate recycling for, there's a separate container for glass. Yeah. There's a glass one that's all glass containers. Oh. Paper and cardboard. Right. Compost and now soft plastic.

And when I go somewhere where they don't have that, you just throw a can in the garbage. Yeah. blows my mind. Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. And the public garbage cans on like on a busy street have a little slots for you all sort of cans.

Yeah. For like. For someone to come and pick it up and... And they have pictographs that tell you what goes where. Yeah. Which is nice. That all goes in your stomach. It all goes into a whale's stomach.

And are you confident that that all goes to a place and gets dealt with properly? No. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Does it just get pressed into a barge and pushed out to see? It mostly is there for me to feel guilty if I fail. Yeah. Yeah.

So what's going on with me is, here's a funny thing. What's going on with this? I think Tim will appreciate this. A couple weeks ago, I was, I guess a few weeks ago now, I was at a local mountain, Mount Seymour, snowboarding with my daughter. Half pipe? I had about a half pipe of marijuana beforehand, yeah. That helps. An old Rabatlialli over here.

But I went to the bathroom first. I was in the sort of... Nice. Tim will appreciate it. I appreciate it. I was like, this is the part I appreciate. And it was a small little bathroom, one urinal, two stalls. Okay.

Yeah. And the urinal was in use. And so I do that thing where you like... Check your watch. Hurry, hurry, quick. I can't make it. I'm going to pee on your back. Coming in.

And you kind of look towards the ground. to see if anyone's, the stalls are both close, but you want to see. Right. Is it actually before I give it a push? Or are those feet facing towards the toilet or away from the toilet? That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And there are two sets of feet.

And so I'm standing there waiting and, oh, well, the feet are facing away from the toilet and the smell indicates that's about right. This is how your mind builds a mental balance. You're like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Smells like he's just getting started. I did take a limitless pill before. Man washing his hands over there, the dryer's away. Big magnifying glass.

And then I hear the... Detective Doodoo on a case. I hear the toilet flush. Good. And the guy in the stall stands up. And he's so tall, his head comes out of the top. And we lock eyes. And he's like, you know what I just did.

Oh, if he's that big, imagine. Graham, that's not fair. Like that triceratop style in Jurassic Fire. That's not fair, Graham. We have tall listeners. Yeah, you never judge a book by its cover. But where there's smoke, there's fire. So this guy was like, alarmingly.

Have you seen the video of the guy interviewing people on the red carpet? And then he talks to Adam Sandler and Jennifer Asden. Have you ever seen that one? Oh, and then he's crouched down. They're like, why you crouched down? He's like, because I'm too tall. It'll, you know, screws it up for everybody else. He's like, come on, stand up.

And he's so tall that they start laughing. They can't stop laughing about how giant. It keeps going. It has like three knees. What are you writing this for? What newspaper you're from? The Manute Bowl, Muckley. Check it in with Manute.

Big and tall digest. Anyway, so a tall guy in the bathroom. I had a thing I've never had at a bathroom before where I found love. But there was four urinals. I love in the old space. That's something I've never had it. You guys know they're yellow and brown, right? I had white.

Oh, I know what that is. But the available urinal, I had to like wedge my. I was just, I was touching each person next to me. And I was like, well, I had to be really bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then while I was there, I was like, we're really, being as a unit right now. What is it? Was it, what kind of a place was it?

This was in a movie theater. A new or old? Old. Oh, so it might be that kind of thing of like, oh, you know, people back in the day were so small as slender. Yeah, and they didn't have his puffy jackets maybe back in the day. A lot of long coats. Yeah, it's true.

A lot of long coats or dicks. Oh, no. Kirt loose when I was at that movie That's my favorite cake song I want a girl with a long coat And a short dick I was watching a movie

And just before the movie started These like four people came in And the guy that sat in front of me It was like side show bob hair Like it was just the craziest biggest Oh my gosh Had to move He had to move.

He probably toughed it up You think he toughed it up Yeah yeah He had one of those picks he was working on it just as he sat down. Yeah, yeah. This hairsprite. It was the, wow, it was a big head of hair. Like, see ya.

You know, those wigs that sealed wear? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boy, did you say it wouldn't want to be you? Did you say that? I did. I can't see ya. Anyway, so that was great. I saw a guy in a bathroom.

Tall guy in a bath. Tall guy in the bathroom. You were like, I can't wait to tell Greg. I know. This has been for weeks. I'm like, I gotta wait till the appropriate day. To the right guests is here. And Mr.

bathroom. Was the poop fully flushed by the time? I didn't go in. I waited. I did urinal. He did urinal. Number two? Yeah.

Sure did. The other thing is I, uh, I went to the season opener of the Vancouver White Caps. Okay. Soccer team. And we scored goals. Nice. We kicked.

We ran. Did they sing songs? Did you have a fervent fan base here? There is a, uh, an area called the South Siders. Yes. And they're going the whole time singing songs. Are these like, all they, all they, that kind of thing. And there's certain songs about certain players, but we're too far away to get any words.

Yeah. And is it like a hymns like everybody's handed a thing? They must. They must, right? I think they have a website where they learn the song. Oh, cool. Yeah. Like YouTube video.

That's fun. Super fun. Yeah. Yeah. But it was so cold because it's a stadium with like a fake fabric roof. Oh, yeah, of course. So lately, this never used to happen to me, but I find on days now where I get cold, I stay cold for like 24 hours. Gets into your bones.

Boney cold. You need to fatten up. That's true. You need to get more sleep. You need to get fat. Well, someone was going to bring me a cookbook. Oh, fuck. I come back next time.

You just wavered him. Just clapped his hang. No one got me the recipe for Kenny Rogers' chicken. It's when the ghost shows you what your life would have been. If he hadn't been around, if he hadn't got that cookbook, he would have withered and died. But that was huge and healthy. He's so healthy, he can hardly breathe. So this Vancouver Whitecaps, they're in a league that's also over there.

Oh, okay, all right. The Rockford Peaches. They're in North America. Yeah. Yeah. It's in just Canadian. We had a team in Winnipeg. We just lost them last year.

Oh, no. They were, yeah. I have to lose them. I think they're in the bottom of a bin somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The last place you look. Yeah, put it away with the jackets. We tried to recycle them, but.

Do, it was just people didn't come out? Not enough support. Yeah. Now, unfortunately, not enough support. I don't know if it was just like the, yeah. The same thing in Winnipeg, there was like a, ah, group, like a section that would be, like, packed and they'd be singing songs and and you know everyone that

went was like oh it's a really fun experience but there just wasn't enough support overall for the team unfortunately. That's also where they're going to hold the FIFA games. Oh, FIFA football. Exactly. Exactly.

But they're going to put in real grass for FIFA. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. But the NLS team has to play on. Turf. Turf. Okay.

You ever slid on turf? You ever played anything on turf? No. It is like I played one like pickup soccer game on a turf field and you go to slide to like kick the ball or get or stop the ball or stuff like that. And it just rips your skin off. Like it's just hard plastic. It's like a cheese grater. Like you have to wear full pants or.

Entering the field in jeans. It's dim gray. From the Winnipegna. He got. Establish 2024. We just got an email. Okay, we got to take back everything we said about the guy. Was it fun?

It was fun. Check it out. The Vancouver White Cabs, they're kicking and running. And is this with daughters and family? Or with friends? This was with my brother. With your brother. They've got Thomas Mueller now.

He's, uh, One of the great Germans. Oh, that's right. He's sort of a... Romsdeuter. Go on. I think that's what he calls himself. Ramsdoyter?

Rumsdoyter. It means space interpreter. Excellent. That's awesome. I like it. That's how he, you know, that's his game. He interpreters the space. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's sort of like got a limitless pill. And he's seeing all the... Yeah. translated for Yeah, where do I go? The guy who brought him over, there was, Vancouver magazine had their, like,

top power 50 in city. And he, the guy who brought him in was one of the guys. And he was one of the guys. Oh, the player was one of the guys. Yeah. Oh, good for him.

There's a lot of, Sarah McLaughlin. She was one on the, Is she in Vancouver? She is. Does you know, she has a music school here? She has a treaty status.

She's, uh, really? Yeah. I didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. One of those cool celebrities. celebrities that has that but never

whatever took advantage of yeah yeah it's uh built um like a mystery she did have permits to build a mystery yeah yeah she was one of the many real estate moguls on the list and also on that list Stacy McLaughlin's husband which she said in the you know whatever you call it

not admission of guilt that's not right uh full disclosure Full disclosure. Yeah. Full disclosure would be a good name for a comedy tour, maybe. Or, you know, a movie with Demi Moore and the sequel. Yeah, but with like full front. Fuller, Fuller disclosure.

Did you ever see that movie? Disclosure? Yeah. I never saw it. It was. Wasn't as sexy as the, basically all the sexy stuff was in the ad. Yeah. It's, it's, uh, Demi Moore with Demi Moore.

Yeah. Michael Douglas And it was basically like, what if a woman could sexually harass a man? Yeah. And I'm Michael Crichton. Yeah. And I made Jurassic Park.

So everything I touched turns to gold. It was a time when everything he wrote, they were just like, it's like Michael Crichton's the guy everybody likes, not just dinosaurs. Yeah. So we're going to make Congo. We're going to make disclosure.

We're going to make, do you make rising sun? Is that him? Yep. And, uh, ER. Oh, yeah. He created ER, not based on a book. E.R.

Oh, he also wrote Westworld. Oh, really? Really? Sci-fi. Oh. And he directed the movie version of it, I think, in the 70s. With Yul-Renner? Yeah.

That's a good movie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The TV show, the first season of TV show is great, but then like. Isn't itching and Scratieland Simpsons based on Jurassic Park and Westworld? Yeah. It's when they take.

They got a season to sis from old Craigsman. Oh, sorry, sidetrack. Have you guys seen, have you guys watched Nirvana, the band, the show, the movie? I've gone twice. Gone twice. Yeah. So good. I hear it's really good.

It's really good. There's a scene in it that both times I watch it, I think about you, and that's how much you'd laugh at it. I got to see this movie. Yeah. They're just speaking of, like, combining worlds and copyright, I heard them talking about, like, you can get away with using any. like a clip from a movie or anything like that, as long as it's crucial to the plot

of the story you're trying to tell, which is how they get away with including so many... They had, like, a speech that I wanted to go to. You can ruin it because I will have seen it by the time this episode. But they did a whole, like, lecture at, I think Vancouver Film Festival. Oh, yeah.

That they were saying, like, they... They caught you stealing. I got to cease and desist for them. Just give you a little lecture. I borrowed something from them that they borrowed something. But they said, like, there's, you know, they have a lawyer that works on this. And it's like, you want to type of soda in the thing I have to find a lawyer to let me do that. And if I want this piece of music or this clip from a movie, or even to just do a parody, because a lot of the TV show would start with them, like, doing a direct parody of a start of a movie or whatever.

Right. And I know nothing. I never saw the show when it was on. I only know that one clip of them singing along or making up a song for the game, yeah, yeah, it's, yeah,

no, the movie's fun. It's fun to go see in the theater with other people that are laughing and it's a lost thing. That's the first time I've been in a theater to see a comedy and like, I know. I can't even remember. Did you not see naked gun? I did see naked gun.

You're right. And that did get some really good audience last. Yeah. Yeah, there's a real solid stuff in there. Um, did you see it at the park? Yeah.

Is that where the bathroom was tiny? Yep. What's going on with you? I, I like going to a rock and roll concert. Okay. Yeah. There you go, you got it.

Take it for a walk. Take it for a walk. Face solo. Give them room. Take it for a walk. which I never really did growing up or anything. I never really went to any shows.

You talk. We'll keep it up. Oh, okay. This is the music band underneath. Okay. But I never did it much when I was younger, so I feel like I'm dipping a toe back into the rock and roll. And we'll be back with more of that right after this.

But I went to 90s, rockers. odds at the Commodore Ballroom with past guest Craig Northy Yep And he

His voice He plays fantastic He's the He's the head singer The Tanger What's that? Is it a cover band No

No it's like a song Band from the Night Oh nice Oh cool Yeah Do you remember Certain songs like Heterosexual Man

And Eat My Brain No Heterosexual man And another one Have Bruce McCullough In the Music video

I think all the kids in the hall and heterosexual man. Super cool. And they did the music for, or he did the music for brain candy. He also did the theme song for Corner Gas. Wow.

With Jesse Valenzuela. Wow, wow, wow. I think he said from the gin blossoms. Oh, okay. He sang that song. That was one of the ones they sang at that. Like, one of those songs. Yeah.

Like, there's more than this? Yeah. But when I worked at Toys R Us, like a million years ago, one of the songs was the full version of life is unfair from Malcolm in the middle. Oh. I was like, I didn't know there was more to that. So were you like just a playlist of like 10 songs in the store or something? Oh yeah.

Okay. I mean like 20, but they were right. Same every hour. Yeah. Corporate approved. Yeah. Yeah. And so like, so I went to this I've never done for because Commodore is is predominantly a standing to watch a show venue.

Oh, yeah. Not a ton of seats. Yeah. Bought myself a seat ticket. Oh. Yeah. They're kind of around the periphery. Nice.

And they have their own bar, the one up on the second floor has its own bar. Oh, sweet. So it's, I was like, this is the best. You guys just sit there and be drunk. And I was like, this rules, sitting here rules. Yeah. But then at one point. It's funny to go to a show like that and bring your own like, you know, kitchens you can get like those thick foam mats to keep.

Oh, just like stand and put your own like thick foam mat down. Honestly? I would like, let's see. The only way I could do it at this point. Well, it was, yeah, it was crazy because I got there really early and there were people that, like, got there to be up at the front. Yeah. I was like, they're standing there for an hour before the show even starts. And then it was Craig Northian and another band called Strippers Union.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. He also had a band called Sharkskin. He, uh, were they wore sharkskin suits and. Did they really? Yeah, played like, uh, surf rock. No, kind of more like, uh, um, What's that like Booker T and the MGs, green onions?

Oh, sure, yeah, not funk, but... Kind of like organ, R&B. Yeah, yeah. So it was them, and then during the show, a lot of fun. Guests dropped by, uh, the bassist for the tragically hip, the guy with the very long hair. Oh, he's a guitar player. Oh, well, he was playing the bass. Sure.

That night, but yes, guitar is for the tragic of hip. Then Colin James comes out. Oh. Blues, Blues rocker Colin James. He does a number with them. A Saskatchewanite, I think. Yeah. And just strangely in town, I guess.

Just happen to be in town the same night. I was once on a flight with him out of Vancouver. How was he? He was great. He had really cool hair still. He brought the house down. Yeah, his hair still looks really cool. Yeah.

And then Stephen Page from... Oh. He comes out. He does a couple... What's he doing here? I don't know what any of them were doing here. He had him on the show. I tried.

He said, no, I, uh, I, uh, I don't do cocaine anymore. I don't do cocaine. I don't do podcasts. I'm clean, man. But that was great. The show was really good. But at one point, like, where I was sitting, there were four seats, and I was the only one at that row of seats.

And so then these two guys came up, and I was like, these guys suck, right? As soon as they walked up, they were like, are these taken? And I was like, yes. But they weren't? No, absolutely. we're not, but I didn't want to sit next to these Jackass. They're like, you're like, these are pace.

You have pay. They're like, oh, we're going to sit here until somebody kicks us out. And I was like, no, but somebody is sitting here. You can't. They're just in the bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are here. And they're big. They're really big. Yeah, yeah. They're big. Yeah. And impatient. When they see you, they're not going to want to hear your little story. They don't ask questions.

But at one point, so these dudes, these dudes sat down when the music started. And they were so annoying. They were talking to each other. Someone who's cool. That's their other big of that.

That's the last song they sang. I got a blind spot for this. I got to have to look it up after the show. But at one point, I was like, these guys are so annoying. At one point, I was trying to flag down the waitress, and I couldn't get her attention. And so the guy, the annoying guy, like flagged her down. And I had to give him like a thumbs up. Thank you.

Now I'm on your son, all of this. Yeah, that's where an annoying guy could come in handy. Yeah, yeah. Does it mind being the ass? Yeah, exactly. You, hey. Hey, hey. Get this guy anything you want.

But the weird thing was, so there's a section where everybody, you could be seated, you could get drinks and food or whatever. But then as soon as the show started, I was the only one that was still seated. Everybody went and stood on the floor. I was like, yeah. I was like, this doesn't make any sense. Why do you pay for a seat and then not? Totally.

Yeah. I guess some people still like that. Why would you pay for a seat at all if you could just walk up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now you know, now you know. I get that. I mean, I like the experience of watching a band and watching a crowd, you know, from a seat. Yeah.

But sometimes you want to be in the mix. Yeah. Feel the energy and I no longer want to be in the mix. No, me either. I want to be outside of it. Yeah. On top. You know, if there's a balcony for a show, I love it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't, I don't, like, I've been to shows where in the, first minute of the concert everybody stood up and I was like fuck this is a standing concert I hate this fuck he started stabbing the people in his defense

he just wanted to be able to see more of the concert but anyways show is fantastic I knew I knew most of the songs and then like I say there was a couple of bare naked ladies songs at the end I was like I remember now Craig Northy is in a Another band.

Yes. Called TransCanada Highway Man with him. Oh. Stephen Page of the Bar-Naked Ladies. Chris Murphy of Sloan. Is that a take on the Highwayman? Yeah. And Moberg of The Pursuit of Happiness.

Oh, cool. And they go across the country, I guess. And play their hits. They're playing in June, if anybody's interesting. Oh, the TCHMs. I'm going to be there. But yeah, it was a very like, I'll go back to the Commodore for concerts. And I will be buying a seat and from now on, now that I know it exists.

Does Vancouver have any Pantagious theaters? What does that mean? It's just like a string of vaudeville era in theaters. I think, no, there's one in New Westminster. Do you have theaters with like a little opera box on the side, you know? It's like, it's only like eight seats or something like that. Maybe the Orphium has those. Yeah, and also there's a comedy club in New West.

Like where Stadler Ward off Woodson kind of thing. There's an old theater that I think was a Pantagious Theater. Yeah. And there's now a comedy club that has those. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. When we did that show in Chicago, it had those. Yeah. They kind of, they're cool.

I'd love to sit in a show from there. Sorry. Oh, no. Here he goes. But yeah, it was fun. Love the Commodore. And, yeah, if you're interested in seeing the Transcanada I, women, they're coming to town. They're probably coming to a town near you.

probably like you say, probably travel around on that highway. Oh, they probably fly to be honest. Yeah. Flyway, oh, do you hear that Slash was in Winnipeg?

Oh, yeah, yeah, that must have been big news. Yeah, yeah. Front page. Yeah, it was all over.

Slash is colder than Mars. Splash. We had John Hamm and a bunch of celebrities in town for a while because there was two different movies. Bargo, maybe? No. This was just like a few months ago.

Do you know Johnny Pemberton of like the fallout and stuff like that? He came and did a show at this little comedy club that I had built in Winnipeg that's since closed, unfortunately. But yeah, there was just this bunch of celebrities all hanging around Winnipeg for a little bit. Wasn't there, I feel like the last time I was there, Jody Foster was directing a movie and maybe Sean Penn was. Little Man Tate was a Little Man Tate? The sequel, Big Man Tate. But I heard something like Sean Penn drove a car into a lake or something, and maybe that was part of the movie, and maybe it wasn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did we not see him? Were we eating together when we saw him, like, directing a scene and we were at that mac and cheese place, or would you not there for that way? Kevin's? Kevin's, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember every all mac and cheese restaurant I've been to. Do you guys want to move on to some over herds? Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, what's up everybody? My name is Mark Gagliardi and I host We Got This with Mark and Hal on the Maximum Fun Network. Would you like to introduce yourself as well? My name is Jesse and I am from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Hi, Jesse from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Jesse, you are our maximum fun member of the month. I'm so delighted to hear that I'm the member of the month. Thank you.

Is there a first episode that you remember? The pretzel shape episode. Yeah. That's pretty classic. Both of us just killed off each other's answers and went with pretzel rod, which is clearly not the best. No, that is a terrible pretzel. As our member of the month, you have a parking spot at Maximum Fun headquarters, as well as a $25 gift card to the maximum fun store. We stayed at the end of the episode, we wouldn't do it without you and we couldn't do without you.

So thank you for that. You're welcome. Become a MaxFund member now at Maximum Fun. dot org slash join. Hello. Hello, I'm calling on behalf of the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. No, I'm sorry, no sales calls, goodbye. It's a multi-award winning podcast featuring guests such as Ted Danson, Nick Offerman, Josie Long.

I don't know what a Josie Long is, and anyway, I'm about to take my mother into town to see Phantom of the Opera at last. You are wasting my time, and even worse, my mother's time. She only has so much time left. She's 98 years old. She's only expected to live for another 20 or 30 years. Mother gets her shoes on. Yes, the orthopedic ones.

I don't want that to carry you home again, do I? Right. Well, if you were looking for a podcast. You're not wearing that, are you? It's very revealing, mother. This is a musical theatre, not a Parisian bordello. Simply go to maximum fun.org. I'm reaching for my Samsung Galaxy 4 as we speak.

Mother! Mother, not that hat! Overheard! Overheard! Boy, oh boy. Is it great to hear something and hear it's funny and then it's in your mind and you can't express it anywhere or talk about it to anyone?

this is the spot. This is the spot. You want a sound one in. This is a safe, safe spot. Yeah, this is a, uh, warm hands, cold heart. No, can't lose. Can't lose. Is that a safe spot? I don't know what a safe spot.

I know what a safe place. It was today's year old. Yeah, it was today's year old. That really is something that I've only ever seen in print. I don't think I've ever heard somebody say it. That doesn't sound right. Yeah, it sucks. And we always like to start with the guest, Tim.

Overheard. Overheard. My God, you have a beautiful voice. Thank you. Now, you're overhearing it. I do have a couple of overheards. Now, one, I don't know if it would technically count. Do you want to do two in a row or do you want to go bookend it?

I'll just do two quick ones. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Now, does this count if I'm watching a TV show and I over here something that they said in the TV show? Sure. Yeah. Is it Chandler?

No. He's so funny. Seinfeld. No, you know what, like America's crazy with their reality shows? I heard about this one. I haven't never seen it before, but I'm saying it. You know, America's crazy with a reality show. You hear about this?

Yeah, weird nicknames on the show. You know, who? Yeah. They have a show called jail. Oh. In the States where it's just like, it's in Las Vegas, and it's where people get arrested and then they get booked and processed. Right. So it's reality.

Yeah, it's a reality show. It's not like they get people to stay in a jail. No, it's like the sequel to cops or whatever. where cops would have taken the person. And is jail, like, what you'd be thrown into if you were, like, drunk or whatever? Exactly. Cops in jail is sort of like the reality version of law and order. So there's one lady who got arrested for jaywalking.

And she was hammered in Las Vegas. And they're like, you know, we were just concerned about you. Like, you're going to get hurt if you're jaywalking. Have you jaywalk before? And she's like, yeah. Yeah, I jaywalk before. He's like, I jaywalk all the time. Like, aren't you afraid to getting hit by a car?

She's like, I've been hit by a car. And I still look this good. That's great. Do you drive? Yeah. I jaywalk. Mm-hmm. As a kid, I was a teenager.

I would jaywalk all the time. Yeah. Small rebellion. But, like, as a driver, I hate it. Because you can see the J-Walker, like, they're calculating how they're going to fit between these two cars. Yeah. It's like, I'm not, like, I want to then put my brakes on, but they're like, no, no, I'm waiting for you to go pat. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm not playing your J-Walk game. I don't want to hurt you. Yeah. I like that. It's still this good. It reminds me of a clip from, I want to say, it was Ricky Lake where somebody. confronts an ex they've like, you know,

exercised and put on a nice dress. And then I remember talking to the guy. I'd be like, so what is this this make you kind of jealous? And he's like, no, like I'm glad she's doing okay, but I'm married and I don't. You can tell the, just the air

went out of her. Like, oh man. Oh, she thinks about you constantly and you forgot she existed. I have a wife and two kids. Yeah, I'm fine. Years ago. You had another one?

Overheard? Yeah, I had another one that was, well, yeah, one was this guy in Ottawa who said, I was just walking by and he said, Raccoon in the Garbage. This is in Toronto? Ottawa. Oh, Ottawa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Toronto famous with the raccoons everywhere.

Yeah. Ottawa, too. Ottawa, apparently. Yeah. Okay. Because, yeah. I looked around, didn't really see one, but then I walked a little further, sure enough, raccoon in the garbage. Nice.

That's where they like to hang. Yeah. Makes sense. It's a buffet. We don't have raccoons in Manitoba, so I was like starstruck, you know. We have them out here, but not like they have them in Toronto. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like our records are more polite. Is that possible? They don't climb, I was on a patio in, like, an upper top of the building patio in Toronto, And one, like, swung down from the bar and dropped behind the bar. And I was like, you guys aren't going to serve from that bar now, are you? My neighbor had, like, when the house being built next door, they had scaffolding up. And then one night raccoons just, like, showed up outside our bedroom window. Oh, shit.

And, like, put their hand on the window. Kind of cute. It's cute. Kind of scary. Yeah. Yeah. As long as they're not too, too rabied. They don't have rabies.

The only thing that has rabies around here? Bats. Oh, really? Yeah. And they're not even around here. Yeah. Just in this province. They're from around here, though.

From around these parts. Dave, do you have no word? Yeah, this is from Christmas. This is the week before Christmas, I was in a mall. Okay. This has just been in my stash, my overheard stash. I was in a mall. I was, if I'm being honest, I was waiting in line out.

at the Lego store. Thanks for being honest. That was the only store that had a lineup. Very big of you. I bet. Yeah. But I had to get the Millennium Falcon because I'm so into nerd. Oh, he is too.

He loves the nerd guys. Surprised me could even get him because he's usually had a fan con. Planning one. Did you see that the fan con, the fan folks were, anytime celebrities come to Vancouver. Not any time, but quite often they go to Viches. Yes. So, you know, Prince Harry was there a few weeks ago.

In my head, I thought it was Prince Andrew. Yeah, yeah. Prince McJager went a few months ago. Oh, really? And then this past week. What is this place? It's an Indian restaurant. Oh, okay.

With Vigrim Vig is the owner. Okay, he's like a celebrity chef. He's like a celebrity chef. He's sometimes on Dragon's Den. Oh, good for him. And he... It's hard to get on that show. Not.

That's the beginning of your pitch. Jags, I'm looking for a deal. Not. But the, I think they were in town for Fan Expo. All the hobbits were there. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. And they had multiple breakfasts.

Sick of breakfast. Anyway, so I was at the mall before Christmas, and I'm standing in line, and the guy waiting in line behind me. is talking on the phone. And I hear him say, so you transfer money from your debit card to your credit card every time you buy something. Well, you should have been.

That's sound financial advice right there. A lot of people need to hear that. It's funny, because it used to be the only things that I could remember being, like, pay on an installment plan would be like, furniture. Holy smokes. Now it's like everything you can buy on everything.

Yeah. And that's great. Yeah. It's great. It's a good sign and it's a robust economy. Yeah. No kidding. Yeah.

It's not going to lead to any kind of huge financial collapse when household debt is far beyond household income. Oh, sure. Yeah. It's going to be fine. Because even in the, I mean, this is more in the States. Like, I don't know. I don't think you have that in Vancouver so much.

But like every little, like Tim Hortons will have its own credit card where you can just like get a credit card for that store and you can just rack up debt there. I have a gift card. That works too. Yeah. Now have you been paying it off? Oh, shit. Graham, do you haven't overheard?

I do. Speaking of raccoons, is a raccoon under the rodent? I think they're related to panda bears, which aren't bears at all. They're raccoons. Is a raccoon a rodent? I don't think so. No. Rodents, I think what defines a rodent is their teeth keep growing.

Yeah. Yeah. They have crazy. Because a beaver would be a rodent. A rodent family. What are those guys? Capi Beras. Capi bears.

Yeah, the big rats. But, boy, Vancouver has got some of the juiciest rats in the country. Find a bigger rat. You have to go all the way to New York. Yeah. I think there's a few in Alberta that are pretty big. Yeah. But those are like roadside of trash.

But this guy, I saw it. Like, you know, like a really tiny dog? Like that size. Like could easily take down a, yeah. And big, big healthy rat. Whoa. And he was, and he's not bothered. He's not scared of him, but he was walking between a dumpster.

And I was looking at him. And one of the women who work at one of the shops down here, I looked at him and saw I was looking at. She said, we call him Elfredo. He makes all the sauces. He's under a chef's hat. It's great. This community rat and everybody knows this rat.

We call him Elfredo. Wow. Yeah, it was the best. I mean, I guess I have old school thinking of like rats bring on plaques and stuff like that. Yeah, rats, they're not. They're not actually. I don't want them around. No.

You can have them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some people are really pro rat, though. Yeah.

Some people really. People that have. Ractus pets? Oh, yeah. They can have that. That's fine. I don't mind that. Yeah.

I don't like seeing them everywhere. Yeah. I don't like trying to keep them out of my house. Yeah. I don't like to see them training turtles and teaching them karate. Yeah. In that gie. leaves nothing to the imagination.

More of a kimono, I guess. Always leaving it open. Speaking of which, say the word, I'll put it away. Splinter, could you could you do it you might? Tie that up. Uh, yeah. What?

What? That's a splitch dot. What? Yeah, hell, then I. Yeah. I got you this free pizza. And suddenly my body offends you. It's sewer rules, baby.

It's funny because never in the sewer are they ever standing in any kind of liquid. Dry as a bone down in there. But come on, guys. Come on, guys. You're wet. Admit it, you're wet. Now, we also have overheard sent to us by people all over the world. If you want to send women, send it to SBIY at maximumfund.org.

and this first one comes from Ben in Chicago this is an overheard from a decade ago Cast your mind back 2016 David Bowie we just lost him Yeah Is it 2016? Yeah

God damn it was that long ago Yeah that was the year Like because there's been a big thing about like Remember how great the world was back in 2016 And I remember that was the first year people were like This is the worst year ever David Bowie died Prince died

Tom Petty and George Michael died and the orange buffoon was elected. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Remember somebody posting a tweet? The Cheeto in chief. When

Prince died, somebody posted a thing saying, like, I think it's pretty cool that I was walking the earth at the same time Prince was walking the earth. I was like, that's a horrible. That's a worst take I've ever heard. That's not anything. I was alive while he was alive.

What? So we all were. And we're actually sad. He was grasping at straws. How do we make something cool out of this? It's amazing. I was around too. Yeah.

Hey, if anyone wants to interview me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is before a business class at my college as we were taking our seats, a girl on the softball team said to her teammate, coach totally ate me out last night. Her friend, horrified and confused. What? She said, yeah, he was so mad at me for being late.

She said, I think you mean chewed out? Not the way I do it. Coach totally ate me out last night. Cool! No, I'm the opposite. He totally chewed me out last night. How so? Well, he was really bad at it.

He went down and used all teeth. Gave me a... Toothy VJ. A VJ. Bajana jump. Vlo job. Blow jump. We get these jeans off.

This is what podgessing is supposed to be. This next one comes from Jenny L. from Maryland. While traveling through North Carolina this week, I stopped at a fast food place for breakfast. The seating area had regulation, height, tables in the center, and high tops along the wall. I was sitting at my regulation table when a man in his 60s walked past me and said to no one in particular, I'm going to take me a big boy seat. You know what? I've earned it. I love that. High tops along the wall.

It sounds like me at the basketball shoe store. Basketball shoe store. Foot and hand locker. I guess all the sports use their hands as well. This last one comes from Alex A from Victoria Has it really been Oh, okay Yeah

I thought that was the third No, I'm gonna take me a high top We got coach Atee out All right I came home from work To hear my youngest daughter

Saying that's very surprising to me I didn't know he had a bride While looking at my wife's phone As I got closer I could see that she was looking at a picture Of the killer doll Chuckie and his wife Tiffany I didn't know he was taken

The bride Have you seen the previews for this new bride of Frankenstein movie? With Christian Bale as Frankenstein. Oh, really? Looks good. Just the trailer went me over. Yeah. Yeah.

Christian Bale very rarely stars in a bomb. I feel like he don't miss. He don't miss. He puts the work in. Yeah. He puts the work in. What's that guy? My left foot.

Daniel D.L. D.L. Yeah. It's in the work. So I'm watching, well, we just finished my family. We've been watching Young Sheldon. You're all caught up? We're all caught up on Young Sheldon.

And did you see the news story about, sorry to interrupt. Yeah. The one guy from, what's his name? From the prequel to Young Sheldon, Big Bang Theory. He was talking about what he does with all this money because you make tons of money. Yeah, yeah. Those shows and you're a cast. Jim Parsons?

Not Jim Parsons. David. Johnny Galecki? No, it's the guy who, gosh, what's his name? I mean, those two are the rich ones. Yeah. Right. This guy would be rich just for the fact that they're like, show it everywhere.

Been there forever, yeah. But he just likes to go on, go fund me and anonymously pay for family's medical bills in the States with his money. That's his whole thing. I'm like, that's sweet. That's nice. Yeah, that's a nice thing. And that's what the system is working exactly as intended. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just need a. If everyone was a super millionaire TV show. Exactly. It's crazy how that works. Yeah. Have you ever seen a GoFundMe that's so, so far short of its? Oh, yeah.

Like, like, not even one that's a huge amount. Like somebody trying to fundraise like $1,500. No. Yeah, $500. Oh, no, not even that. I, like $75. Yeah, it's sad. But the one that I'm thinking of wasn't for an illness.

This was for a project or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so on. Yes, young Sheldon. Yes.

So there's, uh, the mother, me ma is played by Annie Potts. Okay. From designing women and Ghostbusters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, uh, she starts off the show. She's dating Wallace Sean. Oh, nice. So the show starts off with like, just, you know, the cast.

I've never, none of them are famous. Right. except for Annie Potts. But everyone after that, who joins the cast is famous, yeah. I can't believe in an ask this question for. Does it have a theme song? Yeah.

Nobody else is stronger than I am. Yesterday I moved a mountain. I bet I could be your hero. I am a mighty little man. Nice. Because not all, you know, the sitcom theme song kind of went out. A little bit. Yeah, Big Bang.

Really? Big Bang kept it going. And anyway, so... Is it also bare naked ladies? Yeah. No, this one isn't. Half-clothed. Fully clothed.

Guys. This is not going to be worth it. Anyway, so she started off dating Wallace, Sean. Then at the end of the show, she's dating Craig D. Nelson. Whoa. And then she says, go Jamie L. last night. Yeah, Jerry Van Dyke was always saying that.

To do. Dober. Dauber makes a couple cameos in the show as well. He does? Yeah. Is Dobby in the show? Dobby is not. Now, in addition to overhears that are written, and we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, our phone number is 1. 844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like, these people have got that in Winnipeg. I love it. I remember it from the live show.

And then if you want to send us a voice memo, you record it on your phone and email it to SPY at maximum fun.org. Please no coughing during my announcement. Oh, apologies. Hey, Dave, Graham, and assumed guests. This is Jeff and Austin. Just looking at the episode where you were talking to Christine Bordland about closing time and, you know, Graham Whartles is Dairy Queen.

You know, we're closed story. And it reminded me of when I was in college, so it was been overheard from long, long ago. Whenever I was in college, I worked in a record store, like a big chain. I don't know if you got kind of up there. and some warehouse is kind of like Blockbuster. Anyway, so 9 o'clock would roll around, the place would close, and we always get people calling, you know, oh, what time you go is close?

We wanted to rush in and, you know, grab a CD real later or whatever. This was like in the early 90s. And so I'm at the register, and I'm checking the last couple of customers out. We've already locked the door. And a guy and his girlfriend is just standing there at the register, like, you know, buying TV, and I'm pretty tired to see it into the industry or whatever. The phone rings, like, right at 9 o'clock. This is the last couple that I'm going to.

checkout. And normally if it starts, you know, if it's 9 o'clock and the phone starts ringing, we just let it ring. Instead of telling people we're closed and they just get the message. The phone rings two or three times. It's right there at the checkout counter where I am. And I'm just ignoring it. And then the customer picks up

the phone himself and just says, we're frigging closed. Like, you're my new hero. Anyway, no friggin' way. Off I go. And don't dark. my doorstep again.

That guy's got a really cool 90s attitude. Yeah. I like that. It's trying to think of what would be an equivalent one that I don't have ever witnessed something that cool before to be. I mean the guy who got the waitress to come over to you. That's true. Give him a thumbs up.

I didn't really know what else to what other hand signal to give him. Thumbs up. Jack off. But that was my like, I'll jack you off for being so cool. My knight in shining armor. Are you good? Do you want to...

Is she want to VJ? I only got one of EJ? I only got one drink, so I got a free hand. All right, next phone call. Hello, Dave Graham, and possible guest. This is Tom calling in with an overheard from Portland, Oregon. Like the soundscape. And I cannot imagine that I actually heard this right, but this is what I heard.

I was getting up to leave from a restaurant, and the couple next to me, the woman says quietly under her breath and violate the grocery outlet act anyway off I go not on my watch those people up the devious thing where was that person beautiful birds chirping

oh they're back huh ah ah nice it works you guys yeah we don't violate the grocery outlet act here Yeah. It means something to us.

Yeah. It's in Ottawa. It's in our parliament building. Yeah. Very prominently. Every class goes and visits it at one point. Before every hockey game, the whole audience takes off their hat and recites it. Thou shalt not steal.

It's just the take of it. But about groceries. And there's like some stuff about like, you know, the back. bag of cereal inside the box. When you put it back in, you don't... The box is going to get a little bit puffy. You will not covet thy neighbors. Bugles.

And your final phone call. It fits just perfect. Hello, Dave Graham and guest. This is Deakin and Burnaby, B.C. With a kid say the darndest overheard. About a week ago, we were trying to put away some groceries in the kitchen. and our two cats were very loudly begging for food. One jumped up on the table and started to knock things onto the floor.

So my partner turned to me kind of exasperated and said, can you just feed these little assholes? And then without missing a beat, my seven-year-old stretches in from the living room with a big grin on their face. Does the Arthur Fonzorelli two-thumb salute to themselves? Looks at us and says, hey, how about you guys feed this little asshole? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

That kid rules. That kid rules. Hey, mom and dad. Hey, yeah. I'm just a little asshole. I'm just busting your life. You go out on your plate. Yeah.

You guys are all right. You guys are all right. I'll be your all week. Well, that brings us to the end of the podcast, Tim. Tell us all about the things where people can find you online. Yeah. Podcasts, prairie dogs. Yeah.

You can find me on Instagram at Tim Gray Rules with a Zed to find out about maybe me coming to your town in the future. Yeah. Just shout out to you guys. Shut up to your audience. Your audience rules like. With a Zed. With a Zad, rules with a Zad big times. I think I texted you about this.

Like I did a show and sat. Saskatoon, we were kind of worried about the ticket sales. It did okay, but then the people that were like the best laughers, they came up to me after, they're like, oh, we heard you on this stop podcasting yourself. Radio hour. Radio hour.

Fuzzled by Colgate. Petroleum. Just in general. Big petroleum, yeah. But yeah, shout out to the listeners. Anyone that's ever come to a live show because it's like that's such a sweet thing to be able to do some shows across this country and have people come out that listen to this

sweet-ass podcast. And shout out to anyone who was alive while Prince was alive. Oh, yeah. That's huge. It feels great to have walked on the earth the same time. If that doesn't get you through today, kill yourself. Well, thank you so much for being our guests. Thank you.

And thank you everybody out there for listening. If you happen to be in an old bathroom and there's only one you're not available, just take a minute, let two be available before you hop in there and come on back next to meet for another episode of stop podcast of yourself.