Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 941 - Mike Carrozza

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

Comedian Mike Carrozza joins us to talk Married at First Sight Australia, Mexico, and the comedian from 90 Day Fiance. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Welcome to episode number 941 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. And with me, as always, is a man who, I'm not going to lie. I missed him for a couple of weeks.

Mr. Dave Shumka. I miss you, too, buddy. Aw, it's nice to see you again. But the listeners didn't miss us. We didn't miss a week. We didn't. And you know what? One day let's miss a week.

Yeah, and then see what happens. Yeah, let's see. If they come crawling back. Watch it wipe out our listenership. Never, never come back. We can't take that chance. We simply cannot take that chance. Truly, what's been guiding this show for 18 years is

can't miss a week. Yep, we can't. And if we do, we're dead. Simple as that. Our guest today, a first-time guest here on the podcast, he hails from Montreal. If you happen to be in Montreal on April 9th, he is doing not only an hour,

but he's doing a JFL showcase at Theater St. Catherine. It's Mike Carosa. Hello, Mike. Hey, buddy. Thanks for having me, guys. I'm really happy to be here. Are you, is this hour going to be a special? So that's the plan.

Like, the thing is, it's like I'm working out the kinks of it again now because I found like a new theme for it. What's your theme? So now it used to be called Fun Silly Boy and then Pete Holmes went and released a special called Silly Silly, Sully, Fun Boy. Oh, man. And now, what are you going to do? And so I'm going to fight City Hall.

Yeah, yeah. So I just thought, okay, let me see if I could find anything. And I just kept coming back to this, you know, looking at my list of bits and seeing what I can pull from. And I kept coming back to the fact that I have this, like, chunk of pigeon jokes and how I don't know why I keep wanting to write jokes about pigeons. And then I think what I'm realizing now is I'm just, like, interested in how their confidence is everything. Like, I think that pigeons people think are stupid. I just think they're confident. Yeah, yeah.

If there's something there that, like, I'm, my whole deal is I'm a dumb, dumb, and I'm really confident. And it feels like it lands perfect. And, yeah, I think I'm working out the idea of just like, I'm going to do the dumbest, most me stuff I can think of in this hour. This sounds great. Let it rip. Yeah. Are there, you're from Montreal. Yes, sir.

Is Montreal full of pigeons? Is any city not? That's a great question. In my research, I bet to find, I bet to look up pigeons so many times. Pigeons are literally the only thing that's everywhere. Literally everywhere, period, pigeons are... You're from Calgary, Graham. Yeah.

Is it a pigeon town? Because round town. Rats aren't everywhere. No, rats aren't in Calgary. No, pigeons downtown, but not out in the burbs. That's magpie country. Exactly. That's magpie country.

We got them here. We got them here in Spades. Yeah. There's plenty of them in Montreal for sure. Yeah. Toronto or Saskatoon probably has them. Pigeons? Yeah.

Yeah. Every big city. They don't seem to want to fly out. No. They've got a great up here. This is literally the only thing I know about birds and yet the bird I see the most doesn't do it. Yeah, they stick around. They kick around those guys.

Should we get to know us? Yeah. Like Pete Holmes, do you endorse some sort of mega mind or whatever it's called? Stuff he says he has to drink more he goes on stage? No, not at all. I don't do the green juice. Forces is against to do it. Yeah, exactly.

Is Pete Holmes considered a great thinker? As far as I'm concerned, yeah. But, like, he does this very serious. It's not even him, like, being silly in the interview. It's like, yeah, you've got to focus your mind. I'm like, I don't know any comedians to focus there are. There are, like, more and more things I see on Instagram that are like a, seem like an ad, but also is this AI?

Is Matthew McConaughey really talking? Talking about his hair transplant or is that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He did endorse all that AI stuff. He's got a vested interest, this man. So I think maybe he did lend him his likeness to plug this, this plug business, you know?

Ah, yeah, yeah. No, I can't make it work. AI, aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. All right, all right, yeah. I'm trying to make it work, but it's not. It's not. Graham, I just heard you on, um, uh, evil man. Oh, an evil man.

guest on evil men. And they challenged you to a pun of a competition or something. I feel like it pretty well. I haven't gotten that for you. They've just introduced it. But your AI, AI, AI, AI was...

That's not bad, right? Not bad, not bad. Now, Mike, welcome to the show. Thank you. You're from Montreal. That's right. You're drinking a Pepsi, the official drink of Montreal.

Yeah, people who... Not in Canada, don't know that Montreal... Yeah, that I'm representing my city well. I think they would hate that. I'm doing this. Montreal being like the English blip in the Quebec province. Pepsi's a stereotype about Quebec, the province. I'm, but I'm all about it. Why not Coke? Don't know. I, uh, I prefer the taste of diet Pepsi and I ride for it. Diet. Yeah. Um, it's gotta be the diet. Are there, um, are there any other places in Canada

that have like any allegiance that like there's in, um, in Newfoundland, they have pineapple crush? And in Newfoundland? Is it Newfoundland? Or, yeah, it's Newfoundland where their Pepsi over Coke, because the Coke bottling plant closed. Right. It's like, we're taking our business Pepsi-wise. So that's the other place. Well, good. I love that for them.

I love that they took it to Pepsi because it's a protest. And also because it's better? Is it New Brunswick? It's one of those. It's a maritime for sure. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have a little. I like Coke.

I grew up in a Coke household. Yeah. But I grew up in a, one or more. Norman, so we were, we all did crazy sodas. We did crazy. Oh, that's right. Coconut drippings. That's right.

Oh, my God. I learned about this no coffee thing from watching the real lives of the secret lives of Marvin lives. Yeah. And just being like, oh, what do you mean? No coffee? Then what's, oh, so all those, what I thought were Starbucks in the background are soda shops? Well, you see them pour all the, the pumps of it.

You're like, I don't, it's like hot dogs. I don't need to see it happen. Yeah, I'm a one pump chump. So that's what. I That's what that means. Yeah. Okay.

So I have very little vanilla syrup in my dirty soda, my dirty root beer. Because it's like the old timey the soda jerk would be you put the thing in and then you froth it up with the, right? Is that what it is? Yeah, that's the old timey way. Is that what these. No. No. No.

No, now it's just like, like a, I know. I, this is like a third hand. because I've never watched the show. I've never visited the place. But I've seen, like, internet people recreating these drinks, and they're, like, pouring the syrup around the edges of the cup, filling it. Those videos are so difficult to watch. And it's, like, 5,000 calories in a cup.

It's, first of all, it's disgusting. But then it's like, what are you going to, you going to hold the cup and you just drizzle the chocolate syrup around? What do you do it? Well, around the inside edge. On the inside it? Okay. So I'm thinking, I've seen ones where they do.

Oh, really? Like, it's like an ice cream or like some sort of like milkshake, but they got it all over the cup. And I'm like, who's handling this now? Yeah. Yeah. What are we doing? I don't, I've never had a, oh, that's not true. I remember once past guest, Jessica Delisle had a party at her place when soda stream was like really quite new and novel.

Yeah. And so it was a soda and pie party. And so like ate so much pie. Here's the thing. You can only drink so much soda before your stomach's like, let's clear house. Let's take it easy. Yeah, and especially if you're having pie, you're like, what, quadrupling your sweet at that point? Yeah.

No matter what the pie, you're getting some sweetness. With pie, I like, I don't want any drink. Maybe if I'm having it in the afternoon coffee. Yeah, pie coffee, classic. But if I'm having it after dinner, just, yeah, any sort of dessert for me, I can't have any other drink of water, I think. Like, unless, like, you know, being a child, I'll have a glass of milk, I tell you what. Oh, God, I love milk. I haven't had a tall glass of milk since, like.

Stay here. I'll go. No, no, don't you. Is you swearing up? I'm laxated. There's a Pepsi in it. We'll do the Lindsay Lohan special. Now, why is that the Lindsay Lohan special?

Oh, fuck. All right. So, Lindsay Lohan, while promoting one of the movies that she did for Netflix, I have to assume it was falling for Christmas. In the last couple years? Yeah, yeah. She did like a couple of rom-com, like, Christmas movies. She did two Christmas ones on one St.

Patrick's Day one. Nice. Called Irish Wish. But the falling for Christmas, she was like, guess what? Pepsi with milk? call it Pilk, I don't know, give it a shot. And my girlfriend was like, this is nuts.

First of all, we have to watch the movie, so it's like, there we go, it worked. And then we did try the Pilk. And it was okay for a second? Yeah. And then it was like, you know we can't finish this. And that was the end of the discussion. We both agreed. We took a sip each.

We were like, it's surprising how it tastes okay. Yeah. I don't think we should continue this. I, in the last couple of years, have been doing. eggnog and Dr. Pepper. That's not bad. That's kind of like a float. That's called Dregn, Drognaug.

Okay, hold on. Dr. Pepenna. Dr. Dukh, Dr. Dr. Jepetto. Dr. Jepetto. He's a guy. You bring your Pinocchio. Your Pinocchio breaks his leg. You know, they say comedy is like the most fun thing

because you only get insight into one mind so often, and here we are just offering it up to so many. And now good luck. you just got a quick peek into this one. Yeah. Now, are you, you've got, uh, I can't, um, tell your age. You got a very baby face, but I know, you got some gray hair. Yeah.

And so I want to know is Lindsay Lohan your generation's heartthrob? So I don't know if she would be considered my generation's heartthrob. I'm 91, I'm 91 years old. Hey, 91. I'm not, May West was, whoof. I mean, that's why you. Pachy, much. In Italy,

in Quebec, you like a May West with your Pepsi. With the Pepsi. That's right. No, I mean, I guess you, like, I'm 34. And so she, she was like, yeah, she was in the realm of, like, Brittany was more like the big heartthrob of the time when I was, like, a teenager. Really? Brittany is older than Lindsay Lohan.

Right. Brittany is a year, a year and one day younger than I am. December 2nd, 1981. She was born. She was. If you hadn't said, okay, if it was any amount of other days except for one day off, I would have to ask you way more questions. This I get. Like, I know Billy Joel and I share a birthday.

He was my teen heartthrob when I was growing up. Give me the stranger, I said. You'd say that to the barber? And you'd be like, okay, you can sit on your hand. Oh, God. It's so, because I listen to the, I listen to the podcast. I'm a bumper myself, I'll tell you that much. There you go.

But it's so funny to witness the way that you pull so many things just out of thin air. You are an entire encyclopedia of things that I have no idea how you accumulated this knowledge. But then the birthday, I'm like, wait a second, it's happening. No, wait, that kind of makes sense. Okay. All right. All right. I mean, look, could I tell you,

The celebrities who are sure by wife's birthday, sure. Kevin Nealyn, yeah. Oh, shit. So you were a Brittany fan, you're Britney Stan. I wouldn't go so far as to stand, but I will say, I care enough about her and hope she's safe. I hope she's safe, too. That's it.

Thank you. She's going to go and around with those knives. Have you seen those videos? Of course I've seen those videos. Of course I've seen those videos. I'm watching Lindsay Lowen movies. Yeah, well, how was the St. Patrick's Day Witch? Which is definitely, oh, the Irish wish.

Irish wish, unironically, is the most fun of the three. It's not even close. Are they, like, in the, like, sort of, like, those Hallmark movies? Yes, absolutely. They are, the thing is, the production is, like, fine on it. You got some people, like, really doing their best with some of the worst writing you've ever seen. But, like, Lindsay is just really bad at acting. And you think, like, oh, that happened later.

Yeah. That happened later. And then you kind of go back and you watch like mean girls or something. I'm like, oh, yeah, I guess like I'm not really buying her. She's just kind of like the white toast that accompanies a better dish. Like the whole other cast was incredible in that movie.

Yeah. The writing was solid. But she wasn't delivering in that movie. Yeah. Sorry, Lindsay. I know you're a fan. Yeah, I've seen that movie many times. It's my favorite movie.

Is it really? Yeah. Good pick. It's a really good pick. Good about it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Who's your favorite character?

In Mean Girls. Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, I'm a sucker for Karen. You know who mine is? Glenn Coco. You know what? He's a star even without having a line.

Yeah. You know? You don't even see him. But, and that's why he gets four. Mm-hmm. That's why he gets four. Mm-hmm. You, uh, the star, the, the, because Lindsay Lohan was the known entity going into that.

Yeah. We didn't really know Rachel McAdams. We knew Tim Meadows. We knew Tim Meadows. I just mean the teenager. Teenagers. Tina Faye, we knew. Amanda Seifred, we didn't really know.

And Rachel McAdam. Was Lizzie Kaplan not in something else before? Because it does feel like she might have something going on. I don't know. Good movie. Really good movie. Lacey Chabair had been on Party of Five. Right.

Oh, yeah. Man, that show was like all over the place. Never saw an episode. I remember people talking about it? You know who's in the pilot? No. Me? Are you in the background?

That's right. Yeah, I'm an extra and party of five. Well, speaking of Lacey Chabair and Pilot, she's the original Meg Griffin on Family Guy, which is always wild to think about. Really? Yeah. But when, what's her name?

Miel Okunis. Yeah. Huh. Yeah, they even have like a, in a much later season, they have like a character talk to, I think they have like Meg hit her head and she talks like Lacey Shabar again for a little bit,

and they bring her back for that, and then she hits her head again, and she's back to Mila Kuhna. She's a good sport. Yeah. That's fun. Yeah, come back and do. It's like if you watch Hell's Kitchen for the last thing they bring back all the players.

Oh, I love Hell's Kitchen. They have to help make a dinner. Kind of nice. You should do that on Survivor, too, or they'd bring back someone, and you'd have to be like, I fucking screwed this guy over. Now he's got to help me. Yeah. That's why Hell's Kitchen, you get to pick your teams.

You know, you get to pick who you want. It's true. And there's always a guy that nobody wants because he was a real, weenie. Oh yeah, he got eliminated just a little too late to not like miss the cutoff. No, this is a guy who got eliminated like early on? Yeah, that's, you know, when they're picking, they're like, nobody wants. Okay. There was one season, what's the guy's name? It was like Spuducci or Fangul or something like that. Fangul? He was in Italian, like, I'm so Italian. Oh, Clemenza. Clemenza.

Clemenza. Yeah, Clemenza was a mess. He was a disaster. He was a mess. Yeah. And he was always covered in sauce, and he was like, I burned to the water. Oh, no, no, no. Clemenza had like this big, he was, he was such a classic, like, Long Island, like, Clemensa, you know, it's just he's out here. He's like, he's wider than, rather than up here, like the Italian guy. Yeah.

Oh, it's perfect. He's got a name like Clemenza. You trust him with anything except with his own health, I think. Yeah. He was not healthy. He was solid for, but one thing that Gordon Radzley kept saying is the dirty pig. that your uniform is filled. And it was.

Everybody else's was just white, maybe a little staying on it. Did he have changed mid-service at one point? Yeah. He said you're going to go change. He looked so terrible. Man, I love Hell's Kitchen so much. I've had to stop watching it because I watched a documentary,

like the dark side of reality TV show. And they really ruined the show for me because they brought back like the first winner of Hell's Kitchen, Michael Ren, to talk about his experience on it. It was like, oh, okay, well, that kind of sucks. And it takes some magic out? You idiot. You know, we're bringing back the other contestants. I'm going to pick Stimpy.

Like Michael Stimpy. Yeah, you can't watch any documentaries. They ruin things. Well, I mean, I was fine with watching the top model one. It's not like we knew that one wasn't messed up. Yeah. I mean, I just, I won't watch that Abercrombie and Fitch one because it's all I wear. Yeah, I watched the American Apparel one.

You guys watched that one? No. But I knew about the, because that guy was in Montreal. Yeah. hear whispers about stuff. I guess I'm not shopping American apparel. It feels wrong. And then like a year later, it's all done.

Yeah. That's why I wear nothing but Nygaard. Scandal. This week, sponsor. Okay. Yeah, the whole documentary was about, because it was like the whole thing was borderline pornography. It was their whole kind of.

Yeah. American apparel? Yeah. And then actual abuse. And actual abuse. Yeah, which is like, uh, but it was one of those things where it was like, Hey, man, if this guy, just believe a person's bad when they tell you you're bad.

Like, he's making porn that's very much on a line. Maybe he's actually a creep in real life. Yeah, but, you know, maybe you want to buy some short shorts. Yeah. Oh, like, back in the day, they sold, uh, remember when sweat bands were like a real thing for a minute? Yeah. Yeah. They really kind of had a stranglehold on the aesthetic.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. At the time, and it was just plain colors, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're not made in America. Is American Power still around?

Is it still made in America? It's not around anymore. There's something called Los Angeles Apparel that I think uses the same factories and is the same kind of concept. Okay. But American Apparel, that's poison. That's a poison brand. I don't know. I would have to think so.

I haven't seen it at all in a very long time. The documentary is very, could have been half an hour long. And it would have gotten the same. They all could. Absolutely. It's an hour and a half. That last half hour crawling. Oh, yeah.

A bunch of documentaries could stand to be edited down a little bit more. That Ambrody and Fitch documentary? I've said it before. First 20 minutes, the best documentary I've ever seen. Is it just like, remember this period of time? Yeah, this rule. So what brings you to town?

What brings you to our little town? I'm in town for a wedding. My girlfriend's best friend is getting married. So we're out here. That makes you the best groomsman? I'll take it. That makes me unaffiliated, but only slightly. So you, you'll be, you'll be sitting in a, is this a religious ceremony?

No. Is this pews or pews involved? No pews. It's a fun word to say. A pew. A pew. It's fun to just have another word for long chair. Yeah.

Bench. Exactly. But yeah, pews are not involved. And yeah, we're here for a wedding. It's on Friday. We're busy all day, dancing all night. And then we saved ourselves like one day to just recover. and then we're back home to Montreal Sunday.

Friday wedding. I know. Yeah. I know. Funky. Yeah. Everybody's come straight from work. They had to wear their tuxitos at work.

Yeah. Brother does cry a while. He's like, look. Gordon Ramsey's going to make him change tuxitos in the middle. Oh, don't tell me Clemens is here. You, so you're going,

it's your girlfriend's best friend. Yeah. Your girlfriend afterwards is going to be like, oh, wedding. Yeah, nice. Kind of fun. I'll tell you this. I'm on that.

side more than she is. She is not that person. I'm more of the like, neither of us is particularly like, oh, we want to get married or we want a big wedding or anything. None of us is like, well,

let's do a wedding for ourselves. But we're both kind of like, I'm on the side of like, if we should, we should do it just so I could be like, my wife, it's just so much, there's a satisfaction.

There's a borat. Yeah. Yeah. There's a little, jeanisee borat about it, you know? And I, uh,

I want that. But I think it's like, that's pretty much it. We live together. We've been together. It's But you can't say wife. It doesn't really, because you're not.

No, I know. But in Quebec size, we're common law, but that's, is that anything? It's not really. I do know people who got engaged and stayed engaged for a long time, never got married, and just, just were like, fine, husband, wife. We're still technically just engaged. Wasn't that Jean Simmons's. Oh, really? Arrangement with, uh, what's her name?

Wife. What is it? I want. Not Tracy Lord. it's... It's not Trish Stratus. It's not Trisha Petas. Oh, she's Canadian, Canadian, bombshell.

How many other Trishers are there, there again? She had Tracy, a tri- It's driving somebody insane. Yeah, no, absolutely. Sheen Simmons and Tron McSlamans. That's right. Trish Clemenza. Is this the point where we're going to go looking up?

Yes. Sir. Oh, shit. I had it for a second there. Had it, lost it. Jean Simmons. Girlfriend? Throw in the question mark so it knows you mean business.

Shannon Tweed. Shannon Tweed. Shannon Tweed. Man, I'm going to be honest with a name I even, no. You know you know Shannon Tweed? No. She's from Gene Simmons's from Saskatchewan. That helps.

She's from Saskatchetan now I got to brush it up on my, uh, my Canadian famous counterparts to famous people. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you got your Pamela Anderson's and your Tommy Lee's. Okay.

You're, uh, well, that's, that's today's lesson, I think. Yeah. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, uh, but Gene Simmons and, uh, Shannon, I don't think they ever tied the knot. Or maybe they did for the season finale or serious finale.

Of Gene Simmons family jewels. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever watch that reality show? No. I watch so much reality TV, but I, I,

I tend to like, keep to the ones I'm, I'm watching and I stay with them for a long time until it's done. You're not inviting any new ones into your heart? Not really. The latest one has been married at first sight, Australia, specifically Australia. I'm not inviting any new ones in because I got, I'm pretty. Look, you'll, you need to hear how many episodes there are in a season.

There are 40 episodes. That's because they're on four times a week for 10 weeks. So, yeah, what was the one? Wasn't like Love Island that way as well? Like, yeah, it was on live. It was daily. Yeah. Big Brother would do it three times a week.

week, or still does. I don't even know. I used to watch it for like 20 straight years and I was like, this has gotten so bad. I don't think I ever watch Big, I think maybe I watch an episode or two of it. Yeah, something about it from the from the get go. Yeah. Like, this is not, this is not, I don't get it. Yeah.

It's a lot of them just sitting around. Yeah. A lot of, yeah, it's a lot of like, so what made it fascinating is that it's a lot of people having conversations about. This is Big Brother? Yes. Okay. Other people.

So you're having conversation about other people and their dynamics in the house and it's fascinating to watch them decide what they can give away and what they can't. And you find out that some people just can't help themselves and have no way to keep secrets or anything to themselves. And you find... Are people being eliminated? Yeah. Every week. Oh, every week. Every week. There's like a, so you win a competition to become the head of household. You nominate two people to be eliminated. There's a power of veto ceremony, a competition where you can take away one of the people from the chopping block and then there's a voting ceremony

like an elimination. Who is the host? Julie Chen Moon Vess. Julie Chen Moon Vess. How'd she get that job? And then was she interact with them or was she like a separate host? So she'll interact with them through like just a voice of God situation or through a screen in the living room.

Does she ever just say like, stop it? Stop. Don't touch that. No, but there have been interventions by producers. like they have like a live feed thing or I again I've been tapped out for years so I don't know if they still do this but like you can pay a certain amount to have the live feed of the house 24 or seven and like they give you recaps and access but there are there was one contestant that I remember being like this is crazy where it's like Shima was told to go into the diary room to record her confessionals and stuff you know as they're all supposed to do that they told Shima that they told Shima to do it and she was like no I'm practicing because I'm going to get eliminated tomorrow and she was like doing the golf like the mini put challenge and that they were like, they had it set up the night before so they could practice. And eventually they were like, attach your mic pack, Shima. And she was like, nope. And she tossed her microphone in her mic pack into the hot tub from across like the backyard.

That's pretty bad. I electrocuted everyone. Honestly, pretty sick. Like, it landed. It was awesome. If only she was that good at golf. I mean. And then the thing picked up.

Oh, no. It was like. Exactly. Exactly. It was nasty. Everybody's dead. They had to call it off. Now, but she got kicked off from the show just like right then and there.

I think it was like the first time in a while that they were like, hey, we're going to put this in the show so you can know what happened. Now, a stupid question about your other show you like. Australia. Married at first. Australia.

Yeah. How does, obviously, the show is what it is called. Oh, yeah. But what proceeds, or is it just literally like one after another,

people just seeing each other and they get married? Yeah. How many people get married in 40 episodes? Excellent question. Love this. It's my favorite show. We actually, I actually forgot,

I have a podcast called Stay or Leave, where we do talk about this show, but it's very, loose. So if you subscribe to it, you'll see it or you won't. Is that what Sarah Leave is just about this show? So it's about this show only. Okay. So Meredith's for a site is they have a panel of experts, matchmakers. They're like psychologists and sexologists are like we've, we've surveyed about. Sexologists. It's what I've been working towards Mel, my finger. Now pull it and you're going to take up. So we got the,

so these people matchmake these, these folks that to meet at the altar, get married. Okay. And then they have them go on honeymoon and they move into like this apartment complex with all the other couples that also got married. And so there's exactly. So you get to see them all interact at a dinner party. And then they have what's called the commitment ceremony where they sit and do group therapy with the therapist like so a couple's therapy one at a time. And then they decide whether or not they want to stay or leave.

And so the thing is that's one of the one of the people in the couple go, I want to leave. And the other says stay. Well, they have to stay for one more week to see if they can turn it around. But, you know, sometimes they just say leave and they leave and otherwise they stay and they're good. What is, how many seasons have there been? Oh, boy. I, like, is it the kind of show where people come on from previous seasons and then try again? So there has been one instance of that, but only because one woman was paired up with a guy who like bolted right after and like would come back and then be like, no, I'm here and like gas litter and stuff.

And the fans were like, she really didn't get a fair shake. Yeah, I'm here. Exactly. Nice. Again, I love the... There he is. I'm married. You won't get married. No, that's wrong.

Get married. No, that's South African. Get married. Why Australia? So there is like an American one. Because they're better looking, honestly, than Americans. It's their... Canadian.

We're not going to mention Canada. We got Shannon Tweed. We got Shannon Tweed. We got Shannon Tweed. We got Hamill Anderson. I just learned. Rachel McAdams. Absolutely.

Why Australia? They do this format. America doesn't do this format. They do it differently. They have one in America? They married at first night? Yeah. It's also like they,

the American one has like a pastor involved and like he's like the one of the main hosts. And the French one has Louis pastor involved. Sponsored by milk. He's making everyone's milk safe for the honeymoon. They're on the couch for the commitment ceremony. It's like, are you drinking enough men? Yeah, they do that thing where you're wrapped each other's arms and they're feeding each other instead of champagne.

There's a show, is it Master Chef that has an Australian version and one of the judges looks like, remember Fraser Crane's kid on razor? No. Frederick? No, I don't remember what he looks like. This guy looks exactly like a grown up Frederick. Because they did a grown-up, Frederick, and the new Frasier. I know, but this guy was the guy they should have got, but maybe he couldn't do an American accent.

I, because there's so many shows, like, like, you'll hear about a reality show, and then, like, traitors. First time I heard about traitors, I was like, oh, this sounds interesting. And then the next time I heard, it was like, oh, no, you got to watch the, like, there's like every country has a version. Yeah, every country has one. They're all available. And so it's overwhelming.

It is. And I also like, Ivan Decker has a bit about it where you like, you watch the whole season. Somebody's like, you got to watch it. And then you watch the whole season. They're like,

pretty good, huh? Like, that's what I was. But yeah, I watched part of one season of, what's the one, Love is blind? Love is blind. That was too crazy.

Couldn't do it. Yeah. There's something about, it that felt too soulless. And I think it has everything to do with the Lechets, but... Oh, yeah, I forget that he's on it. Yeah, Nick Lechay and his wife, Vanessa Lechay,

hosts the show. She no longer Vanessa. Did she... Was it hyphenated before? I want to say it's probably hyphenated at this point. I don't remember anymore. What was her name before? Vanessa... Vanessa...

Williams. Vanessa... No. No, we can't do this again. Vanessa Tweed. Yeah. From Saskassette. The sketch one.

Is there? Vanessa Manillo. Who used to host like Access Hollywood. Exactly. That seems right. That seems like a good pairing. So he was sort of a Maria Manunos type.

But that's it. They hosted and I just couldn't get behind it. Every time they come up on my screen, I'm like, there's something about you. I'm not buying. I don't see that. It feels like no authenticity for me. And it kept me at arm's length.

So like, is there a reality show that you've dipped a toe in but absolutely will not watch? that you find repulsive. Love is blind. Yeah, sure. You know, repulsive, that's a good question. You know, I have no idea. I can't think of one in particular.

They did the reader repulsive reality show, right? They followed her around. They followed her around trying to thwart the Power Rangers. I just thwart them, kill them. There's a... Not just thwart them? Yeah. Because what are they trying to achieve?

Like, you're right. The Power Rangers aren't out there like, you know, building houses for the poor. Yeah, you're right. They were just picking fights with each other. A noble cause. Yeah. Oh, God.

God love him. The Alicia Tobin sent me a link to a reality show that I forgot existed that was called The Littlest Bachelor. And if you ever seen a clip of it, this is so it's a... Is he like a German Shepherd? It goes from town to down marrying people? marrying people who are in trouble. He's a,

would you say dwarf? Is that the right term? Would I say that? I would say a little person probably. So it's a little person? You go off. He's in a mansion and they bring on all kind of a little person, a woman,

and it's bachelor style. Little women. And halfway through the show, they bring in a bunch of just average height ladies. And then all. the, uh, those people were like, oh shit. We had a chance to lock this guy down and then, and he turned out to be a real jerk. Do they want to lock him down?

Yeah, no, I mean, it is a weird thing on reality shows where I never would be attracted to this guy if there weren't a million cameras around. It is difficult to be like, and your prize is this guy. Yeah. You don't even know if you like this guy yet, which is what's so funny about. I used to watch The Bachelor and the Bachelorette where it's like all the women in the house are like fawning over this one guy. And then one woman's like, yeah, no, I'm not really feeling you with him just yet.

So, like, I guess I'll have to, like, get to know him a little bit better. But he seems nice. And the women are like, what are you talking about? They cut to the talking head. They're like, she doesn't even want to be here. She gets sent home. She's not in love with him. Yeah.

And it's just, man, what a mess. I could, I thought of, I, so there were, here's a reality show that I, I, even if it were available, I don't think I could watch it. Uh, who's your daddy? Have you heard of this? Uh, yeah. Yes, I've heard of it. I don't know that I know that.

I think there was only like one episode that you could find anywhere downloaded, like not even purchase. It needs to be pirated. It's six episode season. Okay. It was back when reality TV was like, try anything. Should we do a prank show where we tell someone their amazing singer and then reveal to them at the finale?

That was the best one. What was it, Project American? I forget. It was like a weird name. Vitamin C was one of the judges. Which is so funny because they picked a bunch of people who could not. keep a poker face going.

Anyway, that's a whole other thing. But who's your daddy is a woman had, oh my God, a woman had been trying to reconnect with her biological father. And the show contacted her and says, we found your father. Would you want to do this in like a format where, you know, it's kind of like The Bachelor?

We found them. We're not going to tell them unless, you got to figure the show. What if we do this thing and like we're going to get you in a house and you got to meet these 10 men. One of them is your father. and at the end, if you pick your father, you both win this much money

and you reconnect with your father. But if you lose, the guy gets the money and you, well, I mean, you'll know who your father is and we'll connect you with him anyway. And she's like, okay. And so they pull up, they pull up to a mansion that looks identical to the Bachelor mansion. It might even be the same one.

And they roll out these 10 older men. They just, these guys roll them out. I mean On gurneys It's There's a clip of it I promise you watch it It's so

It ah God Spine chilling truly It's they There's a bunch of guys Trying their hardest To convince this woman That they are her biological father And nine of them know that they're not

Yeah Is the one know that he is I think so Oh that's interesting twist They don't know Yeah Like they all have to convince her That they're her dad

Yeah. And that's a nightmare. And I don't think I could ever... Could they... Would you? Like, day one, I'd be like, okay. Uh, what... I know my birthday.

What day did you conceive me? Truly, I think that they're all, like, handed a packet of basic information that they would have, like, otherwise, like, the whole game of it would be, and I'm saying game with quotes. Like, it's... It really was the wild west of Rio. Yeah. They had the swan where they put women through, like, plastic surgery and, like, intense workout boot camps without any recover time from the surgery

and then made them compete in a beauty pageant? And by the way, it's not gotten better. No, no, no. Remember when reality shows you used to exploit people? There was one that, it was the one that I had decided in that time period. I'm like, this is going to be my show. It was called Playing It Straight. And the, do you remember playing it straight?

I know it, yeah. I never watch it, but I know it. It, uh, the whole thing was, it was the girl, a gal and a bunch of men and she had to figure out which ones were gay and which ones were straight. Uh-huh. I mean, that's just light. It's just a slice of reality. Yeah.

But in the, uh, debut episode, uh, two guys were arm wrestling and one of the guys broke his arm. And that was like, yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And it was like, this is rules. This is the best reality show ever, but that got canceled after two episodes. Doesn't that make sense. Yeah. Yeah. There's more footage out there, though.

Somebody's, Got it. That's the thing is somebody has the footage of all this stuff that they break out after, like, having friends over and a couple of drinks and being like... You ever heard of this thing? I have an MP4. I worked on this thing. Can't tell anybody I have it. You tell anybody.

I'll kill you. We're going to put on episode two. You have no idea what's about to happen. Did you have that hookup when you were growing up before you get to find anything everywhere or waste? Did you have somebody who's like, I got this weird thing. It's this weird thing on DVD? Not really. I had like for like my cousin used to rip games for me on the computer.

Like he would he would find a way to like crack the games and have me play games that we like shouldn't be able to run on my computer. Sure. But nothing in terms of like DVD or TV. No, we had like there. I remember before YouTube. Yeah. You could just get funny. Well, you get emailed.

Yeah. Yeah. Like it was email was how you sent things. But then also you could find like bloopers of things on like because of like Caza or. or whatever, the downloading. Oh, man, finding bloopers? Lime wire. There was a whole show of that, bloopers of practical jokes.

Yeah, you would have... That's all we download. What do we download? Dick Clark and Ed McMahon. Seeing, hey, yeah, look at this funny thing that happened on... On night court. This set of, yeah, Boy Meets World. Do you know what we're talking about at all?

No. I don't think... I'm wrapping my... I'm trying to figure it out, but I don't think I... I do. I know it was called TV's bloopers and practical jokes. It was hosted by Dick Clark and Ed McMahon, and it would just be network shows with like.

Yeah. And then maybe some news bloopers and stuff. Yeah, like, but you know, stuff they, pre-dvdivD extras, you wouldn't have access to it. Right. And it would, uh, had the greatest. Oh, it had these guys who were like, uh, were they drawn by Sergio Arragona's that were like these cartoon, um,

janitors. This sounds insane, right? It does. Who would be like the bumpers in between. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the theme song was one of the great theme songs, boom. Bamp.

Bannan-na-na-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I know this theme song. Do, do, do, do, do. It's, uh, and then they would do a prank. There would also be a practical joke. Yeah, bloopers and practical jokes. But it was not, the pranks were kind of like really. They were they on the set?

Were they also on the set of these TV shows? Or would they be pranking the general public? I don't think they were pranking anybody. I think they would get a clip of a, prank? Yeah. They would do a Just somebody sent it in

or they would have like a team? They would make the prank but Dick Clark and Ed McMahon worded in every prank. But it wasn't like I assume they'd be too recognizable.

Like especially even then. Yeah. It wasn't like here's a prank from the set of Benson. This weekend on night court. Yeah. Do you ever watch Nightcourt? No, I didn't.

I just picked the, you know it as a reference. Yeah. It's not. I watched 30 Rock. Yeah. Yeah. Nightcour was a Thursday night

show. And it was always kind of on. It was like a rerun show. It was on after Cheers. It was produced by Ubu. This is all true. Everything Dave's saying is all true.

Verifiably, we can put it up on the Shannon Tweed machine and take a look. It's not the Vanessa Manillo Memorial. Memorial. Well, she's no longer a Manolo. Jessica Simpson never took Lechay. She didn't eat it. Yeah. Mm-mm.

Mm-mm. He needed it more than anything. Boy, oh boy, yeah. 98 degrees wasn't the thing that paid the bills on that guy. No, 98 degrees was a, I can't think of a single song. And they were in that era of boy bands. What were their songs? Thank you.

Because they're, because. I don't know who you are. That's backstreet. Yeah. Because they were like a third tier backstreet boy in sync. Yeah. I'd even argue saying like, I know more soul decision songs. Well, that's because you, they've,

played it on Canadian radio. Yeah. Look, and then it worked. They're great songs, too. Taking off my shirt. Is it something like that? Let me take off my shirt. It was definitely an era where, like, soft boys were wearing very sheer shirts wet on a beach.

Yeah. And they were, like, look, like, oh. Soft boys, they would know, these guys would have abs. No, no, they would have abs. But they were like, they were like, well, they would always have one guy who didn't have abs. Yeah. The Chris Carpactress of the Joey Fitone. Who was the guy from 98 degrees?

It was like Justin Jordan or someone. I'm learning that there's more than two guys in 98 degrees. Well, there was Nick and Drew Lichet and then there was the other one. Yeah, okay, I forgot Drew's in this too. Justin. It was Jeff. Probes. It was Justin.

He had a story. Justin Jeffrey. And what was their song? Okay, I got to. Yeah, we got to. What is their top song on Spotify? Because I see all the titles here and none are ringing about. None.

Okay. They're called 98 degrees. this was the, they got their name from a thermometer that one of them could put in their mouth. Isn't 98 degrees like average temperature? Yeah, that's the. So like literally their whole thing is like we are. We are healthy average.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Their top song is called I do and then in parentheses cherish you. Let's hear a little bit of that. This doesn't bring up to know at all. That was a big move back in that area. It sounded like a guy was just about to spill. I also remember one called Three Deep,

and they were, they were a boy band that all three of them were, like, already on soap operas. Oh, really? And then I saw it today. I remember LFO. That's the other one that came on. Oh, well, from the Abercrombian fit.

Yeah. Yeah, they're in that. That's right. When you look out 3D, it just suggests soul decision. I think Prozac is touring with the Vanga Boys. I just saw that. Yeah. Prozac for anyone not from Canada was it late 90s, early 2000s animated.

Yeah. Yeah. They were like our guerrillas. Yeah. They were like our guerrillas. The Canadian response of guerrillas. I did see them on like a Canadian morning show on Global a couple years ago. As the cartoons?

No. Yeah, but wearing, like, a mask, wearing masks that were the pictures of the cartoons that didn't move or anything. That's wild. What do you remember of any of these bands, O-Town? I remember that they existed. Does that get down, get down, and move it all around? No, that was Backstreet Boys as well. And maybe all the Backstreet Boys.

O-Town was Liquid Dreams. They were formed. That's right. The kids who makes a destiny's child. With Jenny, Janu, Jackson Why they got somebody doing like a pop

I can't do it That's the one Dave got it And they were formed on A TV show by Luke Pearlman They were on a reality show Oh wow Okay

That makes sense The pop noise You know who did that on the show All the time Clemenza He would always do the pop You know what? I didn't even click

Yeah Then he got mad at somebody He was like And then Justin Tim were like With dirty pop Yeah Dude, did you see the, because he got arrested of like six months ago, a year ago for driving.

He's going to ruin the tour. The world tour. But did you see that they released the video, I think, this week. Yeah. Doesn't like I kind of not know who he is. Yeah. But also, Justin Chamberlake, I keep on to say Trudeau. He's like, the cop is asking him, so what are you doing in town?

I'm on tour. On tour for what? And he's like, well, that's kind of hard to explain. No, it's not just a year or something. touring singer. Yeah, you're touring your music around. You're going to go beatbox and dance. I like that it didn't go further than that.

Oh, my God, Graham. Get him. Show how it's done. Well, something like that, right? Okay, okay. That's as good as what he did. It's right, yeah. Do you remember when he and she?

Stifler hosted the MTV video music awards? I don't, but it's perfect. Wait, they host it, hosted, or they just, like, presented a thing? I can't imagine them hosting. Could that be? Oh, they were red hot at the time. Yeah, for sure, but they hosting? You think, like, they were too big to be hosts?

It was the movie awards, 2003, hosted by the two of them. Unbelievable. And, well, yeah, because I see them here coming out in different outfits. Now, during the awards season, they always say the Golden Globe kind of predicts maybe what the Oscars are going to be. Do the Teen Choice Awards kind of give you a sense of what's going to happen at the video awards. Same question for the Kids Choice Awards into the Teen Choice Awards. Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, if you're, is there Kids Choice? Guys, so there's an hour of the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. Can we just watch the whole thing? It looks like... This episode is a very long one. It looks like... I mean, I'm gonna watch it when I go home. I mean, it's definitely going on.

It looks like Hugh Jackman and Famke Jansen are ending a popcorn to Jennifer Garner. Oh, that's kind of like a superhero, uh, Thruple up there because they were the X-Men. Oh, Yoda is receiving... Pamcha Jansen was...

She was Phoenix or... Yes, Jean-Gray. Yeah, Gene Gant. and Gray. And then Yoda is receiving a lifetime. They show all the movies that he's in, like he's Castle Blank. But the reason I bring it up is

because there was one thing where... Nothing matters at all. It's just such a beautiful little microcosm of a moment that give you all the energy you need that just pursue every dream you have. Nothing matters. And it's Yoda got a lifetime achievement award. It looks like Gollum maybe is trying to get an award, but he's stealing it.

It's precious to him. But the only thing I remember about this was that... A privilege it is. Oh, I am. I can't believe this is a little. Timberlake and Stifler were... You're killing me. Did a thing where they went.

Hey, watch me beatbox. I forget, I don't remember which one I was. It must have been Sifler making fun of Timberlake. Yeah. Mm, beat box. Mm, beat Bizzle. Mm. Bizzle box.

Was this Andy Semberg as Sean? It might have been. I, uh, yeah, geez. Well, I'm watching that when I get home. I mean, it's an hour of power. What a fun relic to have access to. Yeah. It's on YouTube.

Got to trust YouTube for all the glory. What? Dave, What's going with you, my friend? Well, the reason we didn't record for a while that we pre-taped so much is because you went away. I went away. And I went away. And the place I went away is known as Mexico.

Fun. Yeah. In spring break, I went and it showed off my ta-tas. How many necklaces do you get? Beads, beads. I got a shark-tooth necklace from a guy walking by on the beach. And if I was at Mardi Gras, I would just bring my own beads and put them on and make everybody think that I showed my ta-tops. Oh, boy.

Yeah. What a Tata king. Tata king? Yeah. We went on, speaking of St. Patrick's Day in the Irish Wish, we left on St. Patrick's Day. Was the pilot so drunk? It was amazing how many

people travel with green festive stuff on and like headbands with shamrocks coming off of them. Like, you need to pack officially. You can't bring it stupid thing you're only going to wear one day. Just a whole bunch of people on

a plane wearing Kiss Me I'm Irish shirt. Yeah. That's wild. You're going to wear that in Cozumel? I forgot about Kiss Me I'm Irish. That's been lost to time in my brain. Really? Yeah.

What do you think people are supposed to do with the Irish? Show your tautas. You're just supposed to, you know, lift the beard of them and drink by the green waters of Chicago. There's this. Have you seen that there's a time lapse video of them turning it green? It's amazing. I want to do this.

I watched this Paul McCartney documentary called Man on the Run, Paul McCartney in the 70s. I had also read a book called Man on the Run about Paul McCartney in the 70s. So you're a completist. Yeah. And the book is much more complete. Yeah. He had this protest song in the early 70s called Give Ireland, Give Ireland back to the Irish. And it was like anti-England or anti-Briton owning Northern Ireland.

He should have turned down his night. Hood. Yeah, well, he, the, it's the most, like, toothless protest song. Come on, let him have it, please. Yeah, it's literally that. So you got to let me have it to. It's, it, it, but it got banned by the BBC. Nice.

But literally the first line of the song is, Great Britain, you are tremendous. Oh, you kidding me. Anyway, so what was that Bill? Billy Crystal. You'd say you look marvelous. So look up, give Ireland back to the Irish. So you're flying on St. Patrick's Day. And we went to Port of Ayurda, which is where you went.

When did you go? In December. In December. And I found out, after arriving, I asked you where you stayed. and it was on the same beach. Yeah. Two resorts away. Something crystal.

Crystal Palace. Yeah. And you were right next to, there was a big white one next to that one, right? Called the Ryu? Yeah, I don't remember the name of it, but I remember that beach had,

uh, while we were there at least one wedding and at least maybe one, maybe two, Kinsian herds. Oh. Yeah. Hell yeah. And they, like,

that's like a souped up wedding. Like they do every over the top, everything of the, the, I guess the team. whose day it was birthday wore like a crazy giant gown. Colossal. Colossal.

Just like a massive, like, it's just so much fabric. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful occasion. Love that. Um, and we couldn't figure out where we were staying. Like, we didn't, my, so my parents rented this place for two weeks on Airbnb and we were like, oh, it's an Airbnb. And we get there and it's like, it's a resort. Yeah. But it's also an Airbnb. But it's also an

Airbnb, but it's also condos. And it's like, some people must live there. Like, we looked on the patio and it's not like a resort where they would have like matching furniture on all the patios. Like everyone. Some of that's got a bike up there or something. Yeah, it's all kind of, we never quite figured it out.

But you go down to the beach and the pool and there's waiters from the place that are like bringing you drinks. And so like, we, it's somewhere in between those things. Yeah. But it was so fun and just, I don't really. What did a day look like for you down there? A day would look like, you know, waking up, when you went, it was an all-inclusive. Yes.

Ours was not an all-inclusive. So I wake up, drive to the grocery store, pick up. I like going to grocery stores in other countries. Yeah. Going to the like pastry department and you get a tray and tongs and you go around and you pick up different things and bring them over and they bag them for you. That's fine. And they had, we would buy, we bought cereal for the kids, but they have like all these like sugar laws in Mexico. Oh, yeah, right.

So you would have to buy the ones that had, like, you're not allowed to advertise high sugar cereals to kids. So you would get a thing of frosted flakes, but they're called Zucaritos. Okay, Zucaritos. And Tony the Tiger is not on them. Oh, no. Or is he like hooked up to an eye? be like, oh, don't, don't eat this. They would have a sugar-free version with Tony to the Tiger on them.

Sugar-free frosted flakes. What are you frosting it with? Yeah, wait. They had a version of Lucky Charms that they must have imported from the USA that just had a sticker over the leopard's face. The sticker just says, no, no, no. But I mean, I get it? Like, it's probably a better system.

It makes sense. system than we, yeah. Yeah. Because it's like, yeah, advertising cigarettes or whatever. It does feel kind of like we're trying anything. God, I love cereal. Yeah. And then, yeah, so that would be my, I would start the day by going and getting, driving

over to the store and it's kind of fun like the prices there because you're like, this is $275. But it is a, I don't like that they use the dollar sign. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I went into a 275. And you would have to be like, okay, everything, you divide by $5.

13, which is such an inconvenient number. Yeah, I remember going into a store after a long day of drinking and getting my things together and it being $61. And I was like, your machine's broken. There's no way this is 61. Did you have a car over there? No. Oh, okay. So how would you go to the store?

There was one on-premises. Oh, I did. A little convenient store. Oh, yeah. You didn't have to leave that. We left one day. So it was an all-inclusive. There were some things you had.

Yeah. Yeah. If you wanted a slurpy, you had to go down at the... You wanted one of those t-shirts where you got a little lady's body and a bikini. We tried to get one. My mom forgot to bring pajamas and we almost bought one for my mom. But they all had like beads on the bottom and a... She's not going to be able to sleep with these beads.

Yeah, rattling around all that. And that's how you ruin the garment. It was a classic for a reason. Yeah. And like when I was, when I went to one of those markets, you went to a market? Yep. do they have a lot of the Canada Mexico Alliance T-shirts? Oh, I didn't see, but.

That was like a hot ticket item when we were there. It was like Canada, Mexico. Oh, you're Canadian? Yeah. We got the hands holding like this? They had like, yeah, two flags intermingling. Well, normally for spring break, we go to Palm Springs. But this year where we had to elbow it up.

Elbow it up. And so, yeah, that was the start of our day. Then we put on sunscreen. He went through the sunscreen. And then pretty soon we realized it didn't work. I've had such bad luck with sunscreen in the last few times I've used it. So I finally, I had to go like rash guard full long sleeve. That's what I did.

Yeah. When I was there. Swim shirt. Swim shirt, yeah. If there was a thing that was like a car wash where you just walked through it and it put sunscreen on you, wouldn't that be like the most popular thing around if at pools and like if you just paid like five dollars yeah just completely cover everywhere and sunscreened. Yeah, Margo had, uh, she,

she had a swimsuit that had sleeves, long sleeves. And so she sunscreensed her legs in her face and forgot to do the backs of her hands. Oh my God. And got such a huge sunburn on the back of her hand. Roodle. It doesn't care who you are. Uh-uh.

I feel like if I was in a video game, I would just press sun. sunscreen, it would fully do me. There would be no mistakes. You'd put on the sunscreen skin from your inventory. Yeah, exactly. Did they have, because this was a big thing of the one I went to, did they have like kind of fun,

fun makers kind of going around? Like, no, we're doing this activity. No, no, no, we're doing that. It was not. That kind of a place. Mm, okay. Fortunately. Our place, it was great.

They would, the instructors, there was a game called crazy game. Yeah. We had to do it. My dad won it. My brother was a runner up. So it's, yeah, they did all sorts. They had like those, you didn't have to participate. Sure.

They had stuff going on. It's always a little bit better when you do. Come on. Yeah, that's true. Let's all play crazy game. So then we would go down to the beach and or the pool. I love a pool that steps away from the beach. Swim a bar?

No. Oh, the one I had swim a bar, the best. And you would have to pay for your own drinks at ours. Swim a bar and you can reach into your pocket for a wet 20. Yeah. It's like, I mean, the thing is, that pool, everybody's peeing out. Oh, you've got to be. What is it with people peeing in pools?

I never peed in pools growing up. All of a sudden, I'm hearing a bunch of people being peeing in pools. You never peed in a pool? If people are drinking. If people are sitting at a bar and drinking underwater, they're peeing. When I get out of the pool, I go pee? What's the matter with everybody you can't pee? What I like about this place is I can go in the ocean and pee.

Yeah, that's true. the natural way. I've done that before. You've peed in the, oh, wow. I've peed in the ocean. But you haven't peed in a pool.

You have pooed in a pool? Ironically, I have food in the pool. There's no other way to do it. You got to put the pool and pool. One day we did, they had a, call up evil men.

I was like, I was a little stressed out because I was like, I got to plan these, some activities for the week. See, that's a, you know, You got the activity leaders. You don't have to even think about.

Yeah. We got a crazy game tomorrow. One of the one was the first day we saw people riding by on one of those big inflatable bananas behind a speedboat. That's fun. Banana boat's fun. I was like, we got to get on that.

How do we get on that? And I was looking online. How do we do it? I saw them at the beach yesterday. They're not here today. Then I found them the next day. I'd like chase them. Come back here.

Take my money. Why weren't you here yesterday? Oh, we were only here till one. And so, okay, tomorrow, tell me what the price. I'll get the. Cash. Nice. And then, so we did that.

It was fun. It was fun, but for 20 minute ride and my arms hurt, like, the next three days from holding onto that thing. Yeah. That's the thing about any kind of, like, speed water thing is, like, it looks cool. But then if you get on a jet ski, it freaked out pretty easily on those things. They, like, negotiated with the guy who was like, okay, do you want to go fast? I was like, how long's the trip?

I had 20 minutes. Or 25 minutes or 20 if we go really fast And how many flips? Do you want to go flip? Like no no flip. Yeah, no, we'll do one. I'll throw in one complimentary flip. So it was me, my two kids and three of my nieces and nephews.

And Abby was like, peace out, I'll see you later. Abby would have gone, but there was maximum of six. That's just the way it goes. And then the next day I had organized a big snorkel trip. Nice. So we got on, we went. Did you go into town at all? We went into

Bouseria? Bouserias, yeah. We went into that town. That's cool. Yeah, that's where we saw the flea market style place. And I heard the guy say, he nudged me, he said, if the children cry,

parents buy. And you know what? He was right. We were walking around Bouserias and it was so aimed at, the part we were in, it was just aimed at North America. Oh, yes.

It was like, there was a bar literally playing a hockey game. And then we walked past this other restaurant and these people were leaving. And my dad was like, how is this place? It was like a Greek restaurant. How is this place? And this woman, I think she was from the Midwest of the States was like, honestly, we go, we travel of the world. We've been everywhere.

This is one of the best restaurants I've ever been to. And honestly, it was maybe a six out of day. Sure. Oh, you went? Well, I guess with a, you know, a suggestion like that, you got to try. You know what? That's because you got got got by Trish. She works there.

Well, her name was Sheila. Her husband said, don't oversell it, Sheila. We want these people to have a very nice time, Sheila. Sheila's got a habit of making things sound a little too good. Yeah. Yeah. And then we took an Uber into the like, Zona Romantica. That's nice.

And then we got on the tour bus, which was actually just a city bus with a tour guide taking us to his spot. Nice. And I really, like, I like, you know, exposing my children to some normal, like, some, like, average Mexican, like, trip. Like, you're not, just outside the resort, seeing, like, a thing you'd never see in a resort, which was for us, just a blind woman getting up with a cup and, like, turning on a radio and. singing along, or like she had this handheld speaker and singing along for money. Yeah. Like, you'd never see that if you stayed at the resort. No, that's true.

This is a thing. This is a city thing, kids. And did, uh, when I went, I got, uh, braids done. Oh, yeah. And your ears and your hair. No, no braids. We did the, or we saw people standing outside being like, do you want braids? Yeah.

And I sent you a picture saying, was this your braids lady? And it might have been, but I feel like my brady lady have. I feel like my braids lady had a whole binder of... Oh, okay. This was the first one with a poster board of braids. Yeah. Did either...

No, or puppy. No one. No one got braids. Okay. No interest. No interest. We kept trying to push them into it. There were a few little girls on the plane home that had them.

Yeah. And then were they... Also wearing the Kiss Me on my Irish shirts back. Yeah, yeah. Kiss me, I'm still Irish. These are my flying clothes. Yeah. But yeah, the...

snorkeling was great. Oh, yeah. We went to the beach. The guy was like, this is the same beach from the movie, the Night of the Aquana. Whoa. And I was like, what? Is that from the 70s? 60s.

60s, okay. It's for Richard Burton. Oh. That's the movie, huh? That's the one they got. It is funny, though, to say like, it's like, if you go to Hope, B.C., they're like, this is where Roxanne was shot, the Steve Martin. No, hope is Rambo.

Hope is Rambo. Okay. Nelson is right. Roxanne's the Serrano the Bergerac one? Yeah. Okay. But the guy was like, yeah, this is the beach from the night of the iguana. And that jungle is the one from Predator.

What? You're going to lead with that. Yeah. I mean, look, if there was a hotel that was like Predator and Alien themed, that's where I'd be staying. You'd kidding me? You got, like, drank out of the aliens' mouths spraising you in the face with margarita. Their water fountain is the drool from the second mouth From the alien's mouth

And here's your drink, you bitch Game over, man That's what they tell you when you check out Yeah Did you love your steak? Game over, you're done All right, good, you must have Anyway, I recommend it

Port of Viarda, never been before Would you go back? Sure, yeah, why not? Only four and a half hours on the plane Yeah It's not bad. And when I got there, the shuttle that brought us to the resort right away, offering everybody shots. So it's just you're in vacation mode.

Exactly. Yep. And then you stay that way and then you leave like thinking, how much did I, how much possible did I? Yeah. Is I even alive for the last week? I can't remember. I did drink a lot. I did all my driving in the morning.

What am I drinking in the afternoon? And then, but the drinks were so sweet. And like, I couldn't taste any alcohol. And I was like, I'd be like, these are watered down and then I'd get up. I'm such a lightweight. Give me the tastiest drink you got with the little as little as you can put in there. And I will probably still be really hammered, really easy. Yeah.

Are you, you're super lightweight? Oh, yeah. I don't really drink, to be honest. Every now and then I'll have like, you know, I'll do a shop with my girlfriend or like, we made margaritas at home the other, like a couple weeks ago. And we were just like, we don't want to go too hard. So let's just put like this amount, like just a time. Like just the tiniest bit of tequila in there.

What about at this wedding? Go nuts? I'm going to be drinking a little bit. Yeah, but that's all I need. Yeah. I'm sort of like, for me, I have one tequila and two tequila, three tequila, four. Oh, no. Uh-oh.

Have you heard that song that's like, give me one margarita, I'm going to open my legs. Give me two, margaritas, I'm going to give you some head. Whoa. Give me three margaritas, I'm going to put it in my puss. Give me four margaritas. I'm going to put it in my tush. I've never heard this song. I've never heard of this.

No, you know what? It does ring a bell. It's 98 degrees. There it is. I've heard put it in your teeth, but I've heard about putting the lime in the coconut. Yeah. You can do a little bit of a leg.

Anyway, Mexico's one of the great countries of North America. We're working hand in hand with them. Hand and hand with the flags. Yeah. There was no, like, there were bombings there for one day. Yeah, there was a few weeks before we went. Cartel. Oh, I see.

And we thought, oh, what are we going to do? It was fine. They were like, it was a misunderstanding. Yeah, and also the cartels, they own all those hotels. So nobody's going to go and attack it. Sure. Right. It's like, ah, the tourists.

Yeah, the alone. The contact on our Airbnb was. Danny Trahe. Johnny Cartel. Johnny Cartel. Yeah. You'd think he would change his name. Yeah.

No, he did. His original name was Juan Cartel. Yeah, for showbiz. For showbiz. For showbiz it is. Graham, what's going on with you? Well, as you said, we're away for a couple of weeks. I went to Toronto, Canada.

Not our country's capital city, which is a surprise. You know, it's Ottawa, which is a nice, sleepy Canada. This is an educational show for six-year-old. learning. But Toronto, the bright lights. You know, get wowed by, you're going down Spadina. You're going on King. You're going on Queen West.

Dundas Square. You're going to go to El Macombo or you're going to go to, uh, Niki-Ds. You know what I saw that, like in their last week of operation, Steve's music store. Oh, yeah, I walked by him. Did you go by yourself a little telecaster? Give myself a cord. Um, did you go to, was it cold?

It was, mid, mid, March? It was hot, then warm, then rainy, then cold, then blizzard, then absolute deep freeze. Oh, it's like that Katie Perry song. You're hot, then you're warm, then you're blizzard, then you're down for. And then it's frozen over and you slip and the tree car stuck. Exactly. Yeah. Uh, but a lot of the days, I brought a winter coat with me because I only have the one.

and I didn't bother to try it on at home or try it on in time to get a new one. It was tight. It's, uh, I don't wear it. You're in, you're out. It's just been sitting in the closet. What is not the Air Canada one, giant long one you know? No, it's, uh, it's a, a Revenue Canada parka.

And it was great. It was so warm. Why? If a new Canada. I don't know. It's got a tag in the back of it. It was Greg's. It was Greg's Revenue.

It belonged to Greg. Yeah, it was great. And he would go door to door collecting taxes with his Doberman and Pinscher. For people not from Canada, for our Americans, Revenue Canada is the IRS. Yeah.

And you know what? Nobody beats them. They're the best. But this coat, fine. But I tried on too late in the process. So then I had to. And by the way, for people not from Canada,

it is weird to own one of their coats. Yeah. It's very strange. It's not like a favorite. There are American Apparel. The CRA made ethically, but, oh, their ads are a little bit. Their ads are weird. Yeah.

Terry Richardson taking pictures of a form. I'll tell you what, when that documentary comes out, the first 20 minutes are going to be the best documentary. Absolutely. But so I had to layer. That was my big thing. I had to layer, which you can do very successfully in Vancouver. You can layer.

It's not as easy. because you're from a cold city, you know, layering is not. You need a coat. I mean, here's a thing. When I lived in Toronto, it never got cold enough for me to really even break out my, like, big, big coat.

It was only ever when I went home that I took that out with me. So it was like, oh, it's shocking to hear that there was all that freezing. But, I mean, it can get there. I never wore boots when I lived out there. That's another thing for Toronto. But, like, yeah, it is weird how much change you can experience throughout a day out there. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I live here. I've never owned an umbrella. See, that to me is nuts considering this last week. Just absolutely non-stop. I was in Mexico. Oh, that's right. You were gone.

That's right. Kiss me on Irish. Blind woman with the song. Yep. What is the thing if you don't wear green? You get a pinch. Yeah, you get a pinch. And you took us.

Oh, I think it's like an arm. Oh, okay. Yeah, people aren't. But, you know, for a couple of frat guys, you know, it's going to be a nipple, right? A lot of twists. Oh, a lot of twists. Oh, a lot of twists. Oh, a lot of twists.

Oh, bros. I forgot to wear green again. I forgot to wear green and my shirt. Oh, no. Didn't you graduate last year? What are you doing here? There's two of them, two guys in a time. Or one guy dialing both.

It's however you guys want to play it. Is Terry here? He's got good hands. No, he graduated too. But it was... He's still chanting it. Terry died 10 years ago. Terry Richardson.

That's how he copes. That's sad. Yeah. so sad. But, so yeah, weather all over the map in Toronto. Got to see, got to see some pals, got to see some of the sites. I walked around Kensington Market. Love it.

Love Kensington. Walking around Chinatown, getting some delicious fried rice. Beautiful. Yeah, it was good, fun trip. And then while I was there, I did a show at the Comedy Bar. Love Comedy Bar. Yes. Yes. Comedy Bar.

Yes. Now, a big fan. So, and so much for the scene out there. It's awesome. Absolutely. Which one were you at? I was at the Dan Fort. Beautiful space.

Unbelievable. Is that the one? Which one did we do? The Blur. The Bluer. Yes. There's the OG on Blur, but then Danforth is the east side of the city. Yeah, and like quite far away from.

Yeah, definitely removed. But I went there this, like, last fall for the first time. And it is gorgeous. Yeah. And it's perfect. Gary's done an amazing job out there. It's great. And there's a Chipotle right across the street.

Oh, my God. City planners are all over it. Well, we got to put it in a lot. And you know what? Everywhere you turn around Toronto, there's the shoppers. There's a shoppers ready to get you. And, yeah, the club's great. And so it was, the thing that was going on that we was Sketchfest was happening.

So that's blocking up a lot of the theaters and that kind of space. And then Gary, who runs the old biz, I was hanging out with him while he kind of set up the room. And he was telling me that upstairs right now, the big theater is a guy from 90-day fiance that is doing stand-up. Oh, he did the nest shortly after, too, in Montreal. So popular, he sold it out twice, and they had to do a show in the venue I was in. No way. After my show, because he was so popular.

Charged people 20 bucks to say hi to him. Whoa. Yeah. What is he? I don't know anything about this guy. And you watched 90-day fiancé. Not anymore. I don't have the access.

Oh, you don't have cable anymore. 90-day fiance guy I forget his name, but he's a Turkish dude who married his well, like was, you know, got that whole green card situation set up, left his wife

and in pursuit of stand-up had never done stand-up. Oh. And has only been doing it for like a year. And apparently it's a Lola Street Jumps. Yeah. But it's a lot of people showing up and be like, he's real. I can't believe he's real. His name's Sarpher.

Sarpere Govan? That's it. Yeah, there he is. Oh, and he has, yeah, that's the thing that everybody says. He wears contacts, so his eyes are like icy blue. Exactly. It looks like a wolf. Yeah.

Yeah. So I'm an interesting fella. Yeah. Do you watch the 90-day fiancé? That's where I draw the line. To be honest. If they're not going to get married at first sight, I'm not interested. That's it.

That's the one. I think I did watch 90-day fiancé for one season. And then I watched the, 90 day single life with a friend of mine. It was over like the pen, like the really the thick of the pandemic where I was like, I'm not leaving my house. I did not leave my home for like three months. You know what I mean?

So it was like literally just like anything to try it out. My friend was like, I'm watching 90 day. I'm like, sure, let's give it a go. So I watched two of those seasons and it's like, man, there was at least one guy that if, if I could punch him, I would. And then there's a bunch of people that I just felt so, so sorry for. Yeah. And that's what the show does to me is that I just like,

felt bad for people. You don't have to feel bad for this guy. He's the headliner. That's what I'm saying. Doing street jokes. Yeah, I feel bad for the audience. And Gary said, oh, you can sneak in and watch him. And I was like, no, I like this just to be a crazy thing in my head, what it's like, you know.

You can sneak it. I won't charge you. But you will have to pay to me. He will charge you for them. Because I was talking, we were chatting about like, that's kind of a thing in stand-up. There's people that go on a tour. that are like slightly famous or whatever. Yeah.

They get to play in clubs. How long do you get to talk to him for 20 minutes? Nothing. Like for 20 bucks? 20 bucks. Yeah. Probably just the hello and the picture. Hello,

kind of take a picture. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Like, I can't imagine there's much else to say. Like, how do you connect to somebody who gets on stage and is doing essentially street jokes?

From what I heard, it's street jokes. You know what I mean? But like is the, and what's he got to do on the show that's so, like, appealing. Yeah. Well, I mean, they just want to meet him anyway.

Like, just make that the show. It's celebrity. Yeah, just make that the thing. Make that the show. Yeah. Exactly. Make that the show.

Do the mean and greet. And then if you're interested, I'm also going to tell some show. Yeah, there was a documentary that I watched probably like 10 years ago about a thing called FanCon. And it was about a teen boy. Yeah. It was a teen boy band or, you know, like YouTube kids that didn't have any skills or anything. So they would just create this conference so that little girls could go and get their picture taken with these. guys that don't have

really yeah they don't do anything they're like YouTube uh kids celebrities and they yeah and this is like this was such a cash cow like it's because you would pay for everybody you got a photo with and yeah there was a main stage show where they just danced around to music

because none of them like sang or play guitar or anything like that nothing posed yeah and just like millions millions and millions of dollars come from this so if there was that if there was a reality show con where you could go meet Oh, it's a con all right.

Get them, Dave. There's got to be, there has to be something like that already where it's like, you know, some semblance of like a reality show con for sure. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's definitely is. But the thing is a lot of like, you know, you've got like TikTok people that also

just like shoot their stand up because they're like, ah, it's just talking for a little bit and that can hire somebody to write jokes or how hard could it be or their agents are like, well, we got to go to another step and keep you relevant in some way. Yeah. Unfortunately, that is really the only barrier to entry.

Yeah, truly. You got money to pay somebody right jokes for you. Yeah. You're miles ahead of everybody else. And get this, you'll do great with these jokes that are like the B tier of the person that's going to give you this joke. Yeah.

You're going to do great because everybody's bought in because they bought that ticket knowing you. Yeah. I'm, uh, Graham, I can't hang out today. I got to write Sarpar Guvins special. Sorry, what do you think about this one? Knock, knock, and then you wait for somebody to go, who's there?

Who's there? And then I do what? Lettuce? Wait, when I'm going to go back? This knocking concept, it's foreign to me. We use doorbells out here. I learned that in my 90-day fiancé time. But yeah, so I didn't get a chance to meet up because I was doing my own show.

You're too scared. You're too shy. See, I didn't have 20 bucks either. I mean, if he had tap, I could have done it. I had 20 pesos, but I couldn't do the math. Yeah, exactly. 20. This is your math.

You walk up to this guy to meet up with him. You don't have cash in hand. He's like, I'm sorry, I only have a card nice to meet you. And he pulls out a little square. Yeah, he would. He would. Yeah. He would.

When I was many, many years ago when Dustin Diamond, R-I-B, he did a stand-up tour. And we went and saw it a couple of guys and I, and I just turned sad so far. fast and it was like we thought it was going to be like confessions of no saved by the bell or whatever and it was just him doing street jokes and uh afterwards he charged me for a polaroid even after knowing that i was a comedian he was like well you know how it is it's like i truly don't no not at all well polaroids are expensive that's true they still have it somewhere truly are yeah like it's i guess that was before camera well yeah i guess so but they did they keep bringing polaroids back yeah and they're still like a refurb

of, you know, 20 pictures is like 50 bucks. Yeah, Dustin Diamond doesn't have that kind of money. I was in, I was at a comedy club in Idaho. It was Boise, Idaho years ago, and I think he was coming the week after this festival I was doing. And I was like, what's this like, does he, has he come here before? And like, every local was like, oof, he loves coming here. It's real bad.

That was the reaction every time. We got to support him, though. Yeah, he's, you know, But that is a, if you're a celebrity and you're like, what do I do? What, you're falling down the whole of celebrity? What can I do? I'm on the way down. Stand up.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not like you can start a band, you know? Anybody can just walk in and say, I'm a stand-up. Why don't they go into sketch comedy? Oh, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Me and the 90-day fiance man are starting an improv troupe. What do they call? What do you call your improv group? The five lovable losers No other show works Ninety-eight degrees is back But not as you know them before Introducing 98 degrees nuts

We're a little kooky 90 days nut 90 day degrees What We're getting no no We're going to come on we go We're the like The green card Seeking

Yeah yeah yeah We're the temporary visas Give us something to bounce off of a place. A laundromat. Yeah, yeah. Something that you would be doing, getting your green card. Okay. Give us a plate.

Philippines. So we're in a laundromat in the Philippines getting our green card. And go. They're an improv group. Yeah, they do half an hour of improv that. They do their sketches. The 50 sketches that pre-rism. They do the sketches after the improv.

You got to warm up with the improv. You get into the scripted material. And they do a meet and greet by the you have to come on stage and we are your arms. Don't look me in the eye. That's actually pretty funny. That is fun. Oh, God. What a silly landscape of anything we're doing right now, huh?

You ought to love it. I know. Do you guys want to move on to some overheards? Oh, okay. We might have business. Well, we were wrong. There was no time for overheards this. We're just doing a Jumbatron and out.

Yeah, we've got a little bit of business right now. In the form of a Jumbotron, these are messages that our listeners can have us relay. Yeah, we're relaying a message. Usually this is between somebody saying, hey, I love you, happy birthday or whatever. Yeah. This one's a little different. This is a business one. So if you would like a Jumbotron, you go to maximum fun.org slash Jumbotron.

You can get a message sent to your friend, or you can promote something like your business or in this case your podcast. Yeah, so this gentleman's name is Mike. And the call to action is search for Our Hero De Niro, wherever you get your podcast. Our Hero De Niro is an irreverent and insightful look at the last six decades of film through the legendary,

and sometimes questionable, career of Robert De Niro. Every week, Mike and Mike, no relation, review a random De Niro movie, offer recommendations, and respond to listener mail. We want to join Max Fun. We want Dave as a guest. I'll just go fuck myself then, I guess. And the only way we'll accomplish our goals is your support.

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We're afraid he'll say no. So we're going to put our maximum, put our back into this old. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, thanks, boys. And should we get over? No thanks at all for me. Well, you can't have Graham. Yeah, that's right.

I should have told Mike to be more specific about both of you guys on this one, actually. Yeah. I'm Mike number two, I think. Oh, Mike, Mike, got you. Should we go to do some overheard? Yep. This is John Hodgman and Jan Farney coming to you from the flight tech. Please be comfortable.

We have now reached our cruising altitude. Well, that's correct. You are now free to listen to the latest season of E. Pluribus Motto. As always, this season will discuss the official models of U.S. states and territories for your enjoyment. Look at the window, you'll see local iconography and creatures of all sorts. It'll be discussed this season, including California quails. Puerto Rican frogs. North Dakota horses.

Spiders of New Hampshire. And all matter of official and unofficial state crudits. I've now turned on the enjoyment sign. So please start enjoying new episodes of V-Plaribus motto every other week on maximum fun and wherever you get your podcasts. Sit back, relax, and enjoy your listen. Saginaw, Michigan, Galveston, Texas, Albany, New York, the twin cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul and Muncie, Indiana. We've just added these cities to the growing list of meetups on April 23rd for MaxFud Meetup Day. Didn't hear your city or don't know where your local meetup is?

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Overheard. We hear them. We all get to hear them. We all get to hear them and it's a lot of fun. If you want to send one our way, you can send it into SBI at maximumfund.org. We always like to start with the guest. Mike? Yes.

Do you have an overheard? I've got a few. Oh, you've got a few. If you want to do one after the other, you want to do one, we come around back to do what do you want to do? Let's do one come around back. Okay. Yeah. So I've I've got two from my time here this week, but I got

one from last time I was in town. We were supposed to record. Yeah. I really was, I was talking my buddy, shout out to Sadie Molland, comedian out in Montreal. Wait, you were supposed to record it one time before? You got COVID. I got COVID. Yeah. That's it. Yeah, that's what it was. It was that we were supposed to record one other

time and then it just, you got sick and I got it from sucking on pennies. That's how you get it. It is how you get it. It's the worst. Try and stop me, though. Yeah, I know. My breath is so good.

Gotta love it. You gotta love. Abby's just like, the way he kisses me. Yeah, it tastes like blood. Just the way I like it. That'd have suck on a battery all day, right? Those are the two flavors. Am I right?

Right, everybody? My buddy said he was like, you got an overheard? And I was like, I got to think about it. And last time I was here, I kept messaging. It was like, what do you think makes a good overheard? I'll tell you what makes a good overheard. A little bit of spice. A little bit of spice.

So I got one that I really like. It is from years ago, though. This is one that stuck with me from a while ago. I was on a flight to, I don't remember where exactly, but it was going to the States. I was off to do another festival out there. And I get seated in my row, and I'm getting settled in. And right behind me, there's a kid and his mom. and the kid just won't stop saying egg.

So he just... I will hold. He would have been like, I don't, I have no... I'm bad at kids' ages. I want to say he's probably like four or five or something. But he kept going like, egg. Egg. Egg.

Egg. And his mom was like, please, you got to stop, please. We are in public. Egg. Egg. Christopher. Christopher.

Christopher. Stop it. egg. And it was just like that for like, I don't know, six, seven minutes before it was like, I don't know, she probably gave him his iPad or whatever. Give him the egg that he wanted.

Play me my egg game on the iPad. And I think about this kid constantly. Every time, it's like one of those earworms that's like stuck in your head whenever I see an egg. Yeah. Or I'm like, you're at a restaurant.

They got eggs on the menu. I'm like, what do they got? I got a side of bacon. You got two eggs. Egg. Yeah. I just do it.

I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's stuck with me forever. And that's one that I was like, I know exactly what I'm going to bring to this stuff. I guess you.

I do love when you get a thing that you just, oh, that's in my brain forever. This word is now transformed. It's completely etched into your mind. Like there's no getting rid of it. Yeah. It's,

that's exactly what happened that day. That's beautiful. Yeah. That's my overhead. I really love this kid. I have no idea what he looks like. I can't remember anything else other than just egg. Egg.

Yeah. Egg Dave, do you have it over? This is one from the airplane I have a couple from the airplane yesterday. Okay. There's kids saying egg. Yeah.

There was a boy, maybe like a four-year-old boy, three, four, five maybe even. Could be six? Yeah, no, I think probably, I'd say four or five. Okay. And he's, great question. Thanks. His mother is sitting on the aisle,

his sister with braids. Yep, nice. Is sitting in the middle. Kiss me, I'm still Irish. Yeah. I'm sitting in the middle. And there's five or four or five year old boys at the window. Yeah.

And the dad is on the other side of the aisle, not giving it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is his vacation. Yeah. And the boy, it's become clear that the boy is kicking the seat in front of him. And the mom is trying to stop him. And he's two seats away. and so she's just trying to get them to move closer to her.

Like, you're going to have switch seats with your sister. Yeah. And come sit over here. And the boy goes, never! Nice. And then she says, they're going to say you have to get off the plane. Meanwhile, we are, and 30,000 are going to have to get off. We're going to throw you out of the plane.

I like a kid with a dramatic flare. That's so fun. And the other one was there was a woman. So next to me, there was a woman and then her 10-year-old child who is coughing up a storm this whole flight. Loving it. I'm masking. You know, I'm a big COVID guy. Yeah, you love it every couple years.

But she is coughing so much. And eventually they're about to bring, they're like pushing the drink card out. And the mother reaches over me and goes, actually, before, could you just get a cup of water? And they're like, yeah, one minute. And then they totally just walked by. And not realizing that the water is for her coughing. Right. And so they just, she keeps coughing.

And then they do their drink service. They come back in like 10 minutes and they're like, can I get you anything? And the mom is like, okay. And now she will have a water and an orange or an apple juice. Right. Because like the water is for the coughing. The apple juice is just her drink. For fun.

And so they give her the two drinks. The kid doesn't drink. Oh, come on. She takes one sip of water. No. They don't like it. And then she stops coughing, though. That's good.

And then the plane starts making its descent an hour later. She still got these like... The mom's like, once we get down there, they're going to throw you off the plane. The half cups of apple juice and water. It starts its descent. They come through, get them. like picking up trash and the mom is like she's got these

we're going to hold on to these we're still working on these. Yeah and so they're on her tray but then you're descending you got to pick up your tray now you're just holding these. Now she's holding these two things and then she's like I see her figure it out like I don't want to be holding these two things so she pours

she's only holding one thing. She holds the water into the cup of the apple juice and now she's holding two like she's holding two and one but it's like at capacity it is so close to spilic and meanwhile we start going through like turbulence and my eye is just on her holding this terrible thing

the holes she smelled she totally smelled it was impossible to it was like just some phenom that could just move with the yeah gyroscopic arm yeah yeah but yeah just to drink it. Yeah.

I mean, you're sitting next with this coffin girl. I'll take the water. Yeah, it's your kid. Share the germs. Share, you know,

you get them anyway. Uh-huh. You can't take it with you. Drink the juice, Shelby. Yeah. I, uh,

my overseen is from my trip to Mexico. I only just kind of jarred as soon as you were talking about it. Now, we don't know if you maybe did it. I don't think I did it. Four months ago. You'll tell me if I, if this sounds familiar.

But while we were at the pool, there was a guy there every day that looked just like Santa Claus, but like a neat, trimmed, white kind of beard with curled up. He had the curled up mustache. Just beat red, like a guy that's just outside every day, just sitting in the sun

all day long. And my sister-in-law, Renee, was walking behind him. He was sitting, he was on his phone and he kept chuckling. He was like, and he was on his phone just, and she walked behind him and saw what he was on his phone and he was just looking at guns.

Jesus Christ. Santa Claus. Just chuckling away. Oh, Jesus. Oh, this is a good one. You call that a shotgun? We went, did you go in the ocean at all when you were there? No.

Really? It was right there. It was no swim-up bar on the ocean. Oh, I was interested in getting drunk in the water. That's what it was. There's no deterrent. You're not like afraid of the ocean. I know people who are.

No, I mean, yeah, I'd have a healthy fear of the ocean. Yeah, there's a, there's a healthy fear of the ocean, but then there's like, you know, I can't take, I even get close to it. Yeah. I don't know where you're at. We went to, we went every, like, my kids would want to go out and swimming every day and then go back inside. I'd be like, we had to, like, limit their outside time because we are all so prone to sunburning. Yes. And the sunscreen would just wear off after a while.

Yeah. And so, but then they were like, oh, can we go swimming after dinner? And they wanted to go swimming at sun's. sunset every night and I was like, yes. You won't get burnt. Yes. That was like the number one. Perfect scenario.

Yeah. And then you'll go to bed. You're so tired. Yeah. It's salty. You're completely exhausted. Those dreams are perfect. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Now, Mike, you had another? I do. I do have another. This is from my time. So my first day here, my girlfriend took me to English Bay just to be like, look, there's water. And don't you want to move here?

And, uh, sure, they got water. You want to be here. Water. There's a lot of, there's a beach. There's water. Don't you love the... She's from out here? She's from Surrey.

Yeah. She's from real close by. But she's like, hey, I miss it. Look at the mountains. Don't we love the mountains? I've never been a nature boy, but it is pretty. It's really nice.

That's the thing about here is you don't need to be a nature boy. You can just look at those mountains. They're not. They're right there. They're right there. They're right there. I know. It's so close.

It's accessible. You can get to a mountain. Last time I was here, we went for a hike, And I was like, I'm not a hiking guy, but it was like one of the best days we've ever had. And it was still like, anyway, that's a whole. Just move out here. I know. I'm fighting it, but I'm not fighting it.

You know, it's more like the financials of it. That's, that's difficult to swallow. Sell your winter coat and come on out here. That thing's worth that nice, pretty penny, I tell you what. So you got to report the sales of Revenue Canada. It's one of theirs. Revenue Canada is going to be like that. Did you sell that?

Yeah, yeah. Because you owe us, so there's a piece of that thing. Yeah, and then I hit them with the law of like, it's been mine, I bought it. I don't have to report the sale. It's not a business one. There wasn't any PSD, nothing. You know what?

We're going to give you an audit. Damn it. Don't tell on me. But my first day here, we went to English Bay, and we're walking along the path, and it was nice out. It had rained. It was awful. And then it just, like, all of a sudden, it's gorgeous.

And a bunch of people are finally out on the boardwalk. and his kid's got an ice cream. And as he's, like, walking by me, he drops his little ice cream spoon on the ground. And he just, like, pauses over it, just shocked in his face, turns around quickly, yells like at his dad,

who's like a couple feet behind him and goes, Papa, my spoon! And that it's just like he looked like such a little Dutch boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Papa, my spoon. You're not getting it back, kid. Yeah. That's the one.

When that happened, my girlfriend was like, So you're doing spy this week? Is that how she talks? Do you're doing spy this week? Yeah, my girlfriend is the weirdest look in the Thai. She is Japanese, and she talks like Clemenza. Clemenzae if you're out there, right in. Yeah, no, you're doing okay.

Send a picture of your filthy shirt you're wearing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even just his regular shirts just covered in socks. I know, I know. He's smoking upstairs. Yeah, he was smoking. That's true. a massive meal for himself after the service.

Yeah. He would be smoking upstairs. Everybody's drinking Gatorade up there. He's like electrolytes. I didn't go to, I didn't go to that class. I didn't go to science class. I didn't go to that class.

In Mexico, they had like every brand we have here except Gatorade. There was no Gatorade. So it was just electrolytes. It just said electrolytes. It was just like what you would get for like a baby. Like, what did they call that?

Yeah. Yeah, it was just pedolite in, in, like, next to the Coke and stuff. I feel like PDL8 has got to do like an extreme monster energy kind of brand. You know what I mean? Like they're doing the baby thing, but come on. Yeah, those babies grew up. Well, what are they taking now? Exactly.

Yeah. You know what just unlocked right now? Because I, this whole time you guys are talking about Mexico, I went to Mexico as like a kid. My parents took me when I was younger. And I just had a memory that I think you'll enjoy, which we're on the beach. Yeah, that Montezuma's revenge. Oh, boy. Tell me about it.

And I know you're going to enjoy that. So we're on the beach and I'm under, I mean, I found a shady spot to read a book. I didn't want to, I just wanted a little time to myself. I peeled off from the family. And so I'm like kind of tucked away. How old are you? I'm like 12. I'm like, you know.

Papa, can I sit over here? My spoon. My spoon. My spoon. My book. My book. I found a spot for myself, right? I'm under a tree.

or something. I'm just like, I'm just like, okay, I'm good. And then I just, a corner of my eye, I see a guy with like a big duffel bag on,

and he kind of just has a moment to himself. He clearly thinks he's like, no one's around or no one can see him. And he just kind of wipes the sweat from his brow and like looks down, just kind of like, real big sigh. And then he just like picks up like a conch shell out of his duffel bag

and walks along the beach and holds it up, like straight arm up. And he goes, con shell. Yay. And that's him trying to sell conchels. Oh. And he just went,

Conch shell. Yay. Exactly. Another thing that I can't forget. Get your conch shell. Yeah, every time a cont shell is around. Exactly. SpongeBob isn't the same for me.

When I watch that show, it's a nightmare. Yeah. Why aren't they saying yay every time? Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map. The flies, another one with conch shell. Oh, yeah. Not so much yay in that. Was there, was Conchell and Survivor?

Or was that always say you had to hold, you had to hold something. He's a survivor is one I never got into. That's the one that, that missed me completely. Survivor? Yeah. Oh, you've got to see the Conchelle up. Yeah. Yay.

Exactly. You remember. Jeff Prope's work there was such a big influence on Julie Chen, Moonvis. This first one comes from Josh from Michigan. Over the summer, I went to the Michigan Renaissance Festival. You bet you did. It was a hot day and there was a nearly three or mile long dirt walking path between the parking area and the fairground. Incoming and outgoing guests had to share the path and walk by each other.

I passed a couple with their children in pirate costumes, hats and all. Nice. Who were making a very tired walk back to their car. The wife pirate walking with one child and the husband pirate struggling to push a double stroller down the dirt path. The wife got a little ahead and called back to her husband to see how he was doing. he sighed and said that these boots were not made for walking they were barely made to look like pirate boots

I was already pissed off of these boots and now they're not for walking you know you shouldn't be able to bring a stroller to a I was thinking that three mile walk from the parking lot is like oh well that's enough like it's like a time machine yeah but then you go back into modern society

also like imagine your parents are like we're never going to give up rent fares I don't care if we're parents. Yeah, we met at one and we conceived you at one. I like wife, pirate, husband, pirate also. I think that's a fun child.

Child pirate. Yeah, we're pirates around the same time as the Renaissance? Oh, sure. The pirate error has been ongoing. It's true. It's still going. I'm the captain now. Yeah, et cetera.

I'm the captain now, et cetera. I think of the pirate costumes back then might have been Renaissance stand. But now I think it's just dress out of your legs. Yeah, exactly. It comes as you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get to keep your legs and no eye patch. No eye patch. It's casual Friday every day because on the high seas. And guys, international talk

of the pirate day. Talk like a pirate day. Talk with Pirates. International talk with a pirate. Bill, let's talk with a pirate. Yeah. If you're in crisis, call a pirate. If you're in crisis, call a pirate. This next one comes from Rob A from Chicago. A few nights ago, I was walking down the street.

Two guys stepped out of a small shot behind me, and I could overhear them walking behind. They were talking about stress at work when we passed by a store that does pottery and rug-tuffting classes. Through the window, you could see several people in the process of working on a rug. The first guy exclaimed,

oh, dude, I saw this place online. That's sick. The same guy said, yeah, welcome to the city. This is my part of town. Want to make a rug? Come over where I live. Oh, nice rug. Guess who tufted it.

I guess several people would be all working on one rug. It wouldn't be seven people working on seven of a rug. I think you get your own little rug at rug tufters. So my question is, are they doing the pottery and the rug tufting at the same time? Or at the same location? dream a little bit, because it said pottery and rug tufting classes. Oh, oh, I see. Yeah.

Is it kind of like, uh, oh, like a biothal. Exactly. Or like, I'm so good at rug tufting. I'm so good at making pottery. Well, what if you had to isolate both arms and really make use doing the same time? Yeah, that's like a fear factor kind of thing. You have to put your hands and you don't know what you're going to be touched. I've seen some very satisfying, uh, videos online of people rug tufting.

And they like shave the rug at the end and get it all down in the same height. Nice. Yeah. Speaking of all things, Fear Factor, it's back on the air, guys. It's hosted by, see if you can guess who hosts it. Oh, I knew this. I heard this at one point.

Okay, but can we get a hint on, in terms of like, is it someone like Joe Rogan? No, it's no, he's quite not like Joe Rogan. Is it a wrestler? No, but it is a guy who's, he's, the idea of gross stunts would not be foreign. Johnny Knoxville. And the one that I saw,

they had you on the wall and you spun upside down. and you had a box on your head, and you had to grab snakes and worms and put them into your head box as you were spinning. It was just like the amount of creativity that went into it. I was like, this is great.

New Fear Factor actually got you that sounds sick. Yeah. You got a tough to rug with worms. It's disgusting. I love the idea of that happening in Chicago, too. It's just, I don't know why. It's my kind of town. It's my, yeah.

I love Chicago. Chicago's my first of all my favorite places do stand up That's the high on the list right there Oh yeah Yeah oh yeah The audience is there Dude they love comedy The second you do anything a little bit hacky

They're still listening but they'll start crossing their arms Oh okay They don't let you have any of your hack shit I like to see that 90-day fiance Yeah To hack it in Chicago Toronto's one thing But you know the windy city

The windy city I have a feeling Not a comedy fan's bought tickets to that Yeah I'm gonna go ahead That's what I'm out It was me and him. Those was my main competition. So this is Lindsay, Saturday afternoon.

I'm walking down the street in New York City. I love New York City. Good holiday fans. Yeah. Go do a bit of hacky. But I won't eat their salsa. I can tell you that. I pass a group of construction workers who are working on a ladder leaning against a building.

Another group of people walking towards us. One person in that group says, watch out, you're about to get a lot of bad luck. That person was in a gorilla costume. No. Watch out, everybody. I'm the guerrilla patrol from, you know, 94.7. What are the big bad luck things? Walking under a ladder.

A black cat crossing you? Yeah. Smashing a mirror. Those are the big three? Those are the number 13 in general. Yeah. That doesn't really happen to you, though. And the good luck is, four-leaf clover, rabbit's foot, what didn't do the rabbit much good?

Also, the, what is it called, like the Egyptian eye or the? Oh, sure. The evil eye thing. Evil eye thing is supposed to be good, protect you. But you put a horseshoe above your door. But you've got to have it. He's got to have it. Can't hang it upside down because then all the luck will fall out.

Yeah. You're superstitious? Not really. My aunt was, so I know all this stuff, but I'm not superstitious at all. Honestly, it's just like if I start, I barely put effort into many things I do. If I have to learn other rules to, I don't know. I don't want to learn other life rules. Opening an umbrella inside.

That's one. Yeah. Yeah. Going swimming. before it's been 30 minutes to be eaten as bad luck. A poxed all your houses. I'm glad that's like that's not been, you know, people don't believe that anymore.

No. Go to an all you can eat buffet. Fall right in the pool, no props. Was it a swim up all you can eat buffet? Oh my God. Dare to dream. And in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls.

If you want to call us, oh yeah, and our voice memos. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1, 844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, spypod, one like these people have, or send us a voice memo, SPY at maximum fun.org. Hi, Dave, Graham, and possible guest. This is Dallas from Urbana, Illinois, with an overheard. I was getting my haircut, and next to me, and the customer and stylists were talking about a lot of things, and they ended up talking about the secret lives of Mormon wives, the reality show.

And the stylist was trying to describe somebody on the show, and the customer said, oh, what does she look like? And then also said, well, they all look alike. But then the stylist said, well, she looks like Megan from that movie, Megan, the robot. And the customer said, oh, okay. Well, I was trying to, I guess, picture what her husband looked like. And the stylist said, oh, he looks like the troll from the movie trolls, the blue one. So anyway

No freaking way Off I go This is his frames of reference Yeah Hey you look like that robot Megan Oh yeah the husband Yeah just in Trouble likes character Trolls

I have to assume they were talking about Whitney From the show Is she married to a troll? I don't think he's a troll But he's like the only husband With like a little mustache That doesn't work for him Much like me

Oh no You know what I walked by a group of guys last night On my way back from an open mic and they were just all smashed after watching the hockey game, and I could hear them go, hey, look at Hitler over there.

Yeah, that is a little bit. I can't do it. It's just like, I accidentally shave a little bit, and then it's like, oh, you got to get the other way to, like,

make it symmetrical. You know what makes it totally symmetrical. Cutting it off. Yeah, but now I do a bit about it. You can't shave now that you got that killer four minutes. Yeah, four minutes. Wow.

Yeah. That Mormon wife show, you know what they drink on that show? Dirty pop Oh, Okay. Hi, Dave, Graham, and beautiful guest. This is Liz from Ottawa calling in with an overheard.

My friends and I were at a restaurant, and a couple of them thought our server was really cute. And I'm kind of keeping an eye on him throughout the night. And then my friend and I overheard him speaking to a patron at the bar, and he said, yeah, it's like that same. what is it? Not as much is better? And the guy goes, less is more? He weighs off I go. Not as much as better? Yeah. Fewer is like as superior. Not as much as better. That's how it goes. That's how I'm going to say from now on. Also, this guy was cute. You're keeping an eye on the double standard. If I called in and I said, oh, the waitress was cute. I was staring at her all night.

And I eaves dropped on a conversation She was having And she sounded stupid I don't respect to women Clemenza We both went for it And here's your final phone call Hi guys

I have a Overheard of the kids say the Darnest things A variety My daughter was half dressed And sitting at her dresser And I was like Kid you need to keep dressed

It's almost time to go to school And she goes I just can't figure out which pants have a Thursday vibe, you know? Anyway, all I go. Have a Hurricane vibe? Thursday vibe. Thursday vibe, okay. Yeah.

I feel like brown slacks. I mean, Thursday, what would they wear on Massif Thursday? Jeans. Jerry wears jeans. Kramer would wear slacks. Yeah, like a polyester. Certainly the friends would wear all kinds. Well, I mean, Ross would wear those leather pants.

That episode was so funny. I mean, it's... Great slapstick. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just makes it worse and worse. Now it's a paste. Oh, boy, that show.

I'll tell you. It was flawless. You can't find a fault with it. Yeah. And it springs eternal. It's still good. It springs eternal. And it holds up and the things, the gay stuff.

Oh, yeah. There was no panic around. Nine whatsoever. Chandler going to see his father that he insists on calling his father. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Yeah.

And of course, Joey wore all the clothes. Could I be wearing? Yeah, that's a Thursday outfit. So every pair of pants. Yeah. Shorts. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode.

Mike. Yes. You have an hour that you're doing in Montreal, April 9. Correct. What time? It's at 9 p.m. I'm going to be showcasing for Just for Last, the show before.

which I believe is at 7.30, and then 9 p.m. I'm doing my hour called Pigeons. Same venue at Theater St. Catherine. In fact, if you get tickets to the Just for Laugh Showcase, you'll get a promo code for my show after... Hey, Animal 2 for one action. I like this pigeons show when it was called

Funny, Happy, Goofy Guy. Damn it. I knew I should have kept it. Pigeons versus Fun Silly Boy. Oh, I have one on the other. Oh, shit. Do you guys mind if I do a quick little shout-up before we take this gone.

Of course you can't. Graham's going to beatbox it. Okay, good. Ready? Yeah. I just want to shout out some pals that I know listen to the show and are excited that I'm on. Sadie Molland, I've already brought you up. Thank you for, do that one again.

Do the, perfect for Sadie. And then also shout out to Carson of the Calistow Boys. You guys are sweethearts tonight. And I know that you're listening. Hey, Calistel Boys, you keep rocketed out with your violin, hardcore band in Atlanta. You know, Atlanta's version of Ashley Mulberry. Isaac. Well, thank you so much for being on the show.

Dude, thank you so much for having me. It's just been so much fun just hanging out. And thank you, everybody out there for listening, and especially, Lemanza. Wherever you are. In heaven or on the past. Please take good care of yourself. And come on back next week's for another episode. This stuff like as yourself.

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