Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 942 - Amber Harper-Young

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

Comedian Amber Harper-Young returns to talk about the change, indoor birds, and dioramas. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Being welcome to episode number 942 of Stop Podcast Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. And with me, as always, is a man who, well, we can barely sleep. We're so excited about Max Fun Drive, which is coming up.

Just in a short couple of weeks, it's Dave Shumka. Yeah, look for that in starting April 20th. Yeah. And it'll be your chance to give back to the show that's giving you so much. But, you know, expect surprises. Expect the unexpected. Sexy misunderstandings. Yeah.

Expect the sex of the menendezes. Expect the sexy Menendezes. That's like the thing at the top of like a beaker or whatever is the Menendez, right? Oh. Is that the meniscus? The meniscus. But isn't a meniscus also like a muscle or? Oh, yeah.

It's a cap or a joint. Or a meniscus, if you're a meniscus, you call it and tell us where you are. Are you a muscle, a cap or a joint or like a tendon? A tendon, a ligament. Yeah. Let us know in the comment. And then he's like, I'm in the between the kneecap and the. That probably is it.

Is that what it is? I think something like this. That voice you're hearing. That's our guest for today. Returning guest, a fave. She will be in Surrey, May night at the Yuck Yuck Yucks, doing two shows, one show, one show only? Three shows. And then you're right after that, you're rolling into?

Oh, Vancouver. Vancouver. Oh, yeah. So the three is including the Vancouver, but yeah. Okay. What's Vancouver? Vancouver. Oh, it is comics from living in Vancouver, Vancouver.

Aha, you can't not say it now. I'm so confused. I always call Vancouver Vancouver now. And we're, you know, cougars. So get ready. We're going to yell at you because of our hormones. If that isn't a sales slogan, wowie. In a funny way.

Yeah. Fingers crossed. Should we get to know us? Yep. Get to know us. Now Vancouver. Now, Cougar, that was a term when I was. In a way that, like, made your one, like a dog that's being.

and the lip goes up and the eye closes. When I was a young man, we referred to old, we, I guess, me and my maximum mates. We refer to older ladies as cougars, older hotties, I guess. Did that, was that our generation's word or were they using it in the 80s? I was cougars? No, I only learned cougar in the, in the, bots. Yeah, but I also only learned like a lot of sex

positions that must have existed before and I thought, oh, our generation invented that. Well, I mean, it were there a lot of older women, younger men combos in the 80s and 90s. I feel like it started happening a lot.

But like you say, maybe it was happening everywhere and I just wasn't, I never got picked out by a cougar. No. No. Oh, I was proposed at one point by two cougars. proposed for marriage? No,

back to their their This used to be part of your act, right? Yes, yeah. And it happened at a bar where we weren't paid but the bar tab

was completely open and we drank that place into the ground. There was like 15 comics there and it was just like, they were like, we lost it, we should have paid

everybody $500 each. The next time we'll do that. Next time, completely forget, do it again. Yeah. But did you, do you agree that the word cougar itself is, you know, a 2000s thing? I learned the word Vancouver when I was probably 30, I mean, not Vancouver, but cougar.

Mm-hmm. When I moved here, when I was, I think I was 32. Oh, yeah. And everyone said that if you want to find the cougars, they're at crocodile. What's that place? Something crocodile here in Vancouver? The sloppy crocodile? The saggy crock?

Segy crocky crap? I don't know where that is. I don't know what would have been the crocodile. I don't know. I think I was there one night. And I was like, I was looking around trying to find them. I couldn't tell because I was too close to being one. Right.

It's like, I don't know. Then you caught yourself in a mirror and you're like, there's one. Oh, shit. What is the age where someone is one? Over 40. Probably over 40 and up. I feel like the first time that I was even cognizant of it was Stifler's mom. I feel like that was...

Sure. Oh, yeah. So, same. So, but did they call her that? No. Well, maybe in the sequel. Yeah. She's an absolute cougar.

She goes to the sloppy crock. It was the Roxy. I remember the Roxy was the big. Oh, yeah. I think I remember that, too. Yeah. But I, yeah, something crocodile or, I don't know. Could it have been the alligator?

I think it was. Lizard Lounge. The Lizard Lounge. Oh, actually, it was a place called the Lizard Lounge. Oh, really? Yeah, on Granville Street. I know it's on Granville. Was Leisure Suit Larry there?

He frequented it. Yep. He had his own table at the back. Wait, who? So, go ahead. When I was, you know, 11 or 12, and you could get video games on your PC.

Yeah. There were these games. I believe they were made by, It was the same people who did space quest and police quest. I forgot what they were called. Someone out there's like, David, Sierra Entertainment, you fool. They had a game called Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards. And it was about a guy, this like losery guy who went around and tried to have sex with women.

And, you know, when I'm going through puberty, going through the change. I was like, this has got a rule. And I never, no one ever had. had it. No one's parents would buy it for them. Oh, yeah. No, that's... I had a friend that had it because his older brother bought it. Yeah, it was a weird thing. Like, who, to whom was this marketed? To us, they wanted us to get our hands on somehow.

But we couldn't get our hands on it. That's true, but our guy's older brother did. Steve was his name and he had it. And he let us play it on the computer, which was great. I mean, maybe looking back, maybe that was weird. Oh, boy. Oh, but the older brothers have, that's like they have to do that. Yeah.

They sign a contract. Yeah. As soon as the younger brother's born. They have to show them all the leisure. They sign in blood. I must. Exposed. Influence my brother badly.

Do you have a brother or sister? No, yeah, I have a younger sister. So you were the one. I did it. Yeah, I kept to the contract. You showed her leisure. Larry in the line. I snuck my ID back in the line for her to get into a club.

Oh, that's cool. Was it the sloppy crocodile? She was only 39 at the time. She was of age. I'm still doing it. Well, you've got to be a cougar to get in here. Yeah, in the early 90s, it's such a hard sell to get, like, if you're a kid, if you're like 11 and you, we're going to get $60 to go to Egghead discount software or Doppler software. Your mom's purse.

Yeah. I was never a stealer. Oh. Well, it would sell things of your parents. Exactly. A little silverware. A couple knives. Nobody's going to miss those, you know?

Take it with a pawn shop. There you keep getting all these similar. Don't we worry about it. Yeah, Thanksgiving comes and they're like, um, we don't have a full set here. Yeah. I want to happen to the car. My dad used to take his change at the end of the day and put it in a like this little yogurt container empty and empty, not full of yogurt.

Now your dad's ruined another thing of yogurt And a bunch of coins And every day we At first I thought you said chains Like your dad wore a lot of chains He was Jacob Marley Yeah He was in a few motorcycle gang

Uh No his change Quarters and Nichols and Dimes And Loonies And he would put them in the The yogurt container At the end of the day Yeah

And we would use that for our bus fare which was, I think, 75 cents back in the day. Oh, boy, I hate. That's number one old guy thing is naming the price of things. The second saying, do you know who leisure is? That's another prime indicator. Do you know who my father is? Leisure Sule.

And we would take the money and get bus fare. Sometimes we wouldn't take the bus. We would just spend it on slurpees. Yeah. But then the loony came into play. And then the touny came into play. Yeah. And even into my 20s, my dad would be putting his tunis and stuff in there.

And like, no one, you know, if we ever came over and visited my parents, you'd go in and you'd just steal. Yeah, community cash. Yeah. Yeah. My dad also had a bucket of change. And I guess I also did for a while when I was still using cash. I had like somewhere that I put change at the end of the day. Right?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like you were carrying it around. So many of us had this one container. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

And then like, there were also pennies that were in the equation and those were hard to deal with. That's all that was in mine. It was all just penny. Pocketful of pennies during the day. That's how we'd pay for ice creams. Like count out the pennies. They go, oh, great. Here they come.

Did you ever take it to a machine that would count it for you? Oh, that was so amazing. When I found that, it was. it was actually pretty late in life. Yeah. No, me too. Why, we didn't get everything. Like, some things in Canada, we just didn't have.

We didn't. We definitely didn't have the grocery store change thing in Calgary. When I came out here, I thought that was the best. But it's so loud. So there's no, no mistaking what you're up to over there. What else would you be up to? I don't know. Just looking at a magazine or something like that.

But it was just so, like, like so loud. I loved it though. Yeah, I do. Do they, you don't have that anymore? There's something about it that's ASMRE too, I think. Yeah. ASMRE would be a good girl's name.

Oh my gosh. It's not bad. Oh, my gosh. Amber, you said that you moved out here when you were 34? I think to 32 and a half, I believe. What brought you out here from? Do you celebrate your half birthday? Yeah.

Cool. When is it? Is it coming up? Is it just past? Oh, it's soon. I think my birthdays, I'm so bad with math, February 9th, so it's... It's not soon. No.

My half birthday is. Not soon. Yeah, you just had your birthday. It's in four months. It's April. So, yeah, four months. You're correct. What brought you out here from Toronto?

Why did you move? Good question. Were you run out of Toronto? Sort of. Yeah, I had to leave. I'm sure we have asked this. I'm sure we have to. You've been coming on a show.

Probably. I want to do this. I want to do this because I think that it will be good for me. Okay. So I had to leave because I was sleeping with a comic. Okay. A number one. First mistake.

And yeah, it was a bad relationship. So I had to get out of there for that reason. But also always wanted to see BC. Yeah. And then had just started a new thing with someone else. And they were very cool with like, just having been in like a long distance relationship for a year and then like moving in together. And I was like, yeah.

If I'm not going to go now and do this now, then I shall probably do it. And then also, yeah, I'm not an aggressive guy. So I was in, you know, the most aggressive comedy scene. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And so I was like, how do I plan my attack on comedy because I want to do this? as my job. And so how do I do this without having a kind of swim upstream?

And so I did the big fish, small pond thing. Classic. Yeah. Yeah. Why not? Yeah. Did you? It was a smaller pond back then.

Yeah. I looked, I just looked it up. You were, the first time you were on the show was December 1st, 2014. Okay. Is that okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I guess I don't know what my point was.

I thought you'd be like, wow. Whenever they say big fish, small pond, I feel like people say that with derision. But when you go to like a pond, you see a big fat coy in it, you're like, that's great. Great big old fish swinging around that little pond. Yeah. Especially if you have bad eyesight, you never see fish. True. How's your eyesight?

Oh, I have amazing near-sightedness, and then I need progressives. I have amazing near-sightedness? Yeah, I can see really far. Like, people are like, you can read that? And I'm like, yeah, like, I can read signs. People are like, oh, no, I think it's the next street. And I'm like, no, it's one after. And they're like, what?

You can read that? And I'm like. Yeah, there's a man carrying groceries way down there. I can see it. Nobody else can. Yeah, I have 2030 vision. So. So I have over perfect vision.

But this is what they're telling me is I need progressives because my, eyes are tired. Oh no. Oh no. So I can't, I need readers and or progressives. Do you find that to be true when you're reading up close? Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. Especially the last year. Yeah, I think I'm going through the change. I have heard that the, the, the, in your like mid to late 40s, you, it, uh, rapidly. Yep. Declines. I was going to go, uh, these classes I'm wearing are really old. And I was just like, oh, I should get new ones, but I should get a new prescription. But if I get a new prescription, it's probably just going to, in five years, I'll need a new one. Yeah.

So I'll just use, I'll just keep these. They like, I see fine. Yeah, I can, the ones that I have, I use it for like watching movies or a play or something like that because I can't see very far anymore, especially in the dark. And you have a special set just for the opera. Yeah. And whenever something goes a little bit horny, I go, oh. You get the vapors. Yeah, get the vapors.

Things are going a little bit horny at this opera. But I can't walk around. Timothy Chalemay is behind you on his phone. He hates opera. Oh, he hates opera so much. I can't walk around with them. I feel like I'm drunk if I walk around. Me too.

Like if I can sit still or drive, that's fine. But if I walk around, I'm like, ooh, it feels sick. Your head almost falls off. Yeah. Yeah. I saw that. It was really dangerous. He looked like a pest suspension.

We're doing a lot with our necks this episode. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Keep them loose, people. Everybody keep those next, nice and loose. It helps with the change. Yeah. Now, we're talking about the change. Well, we were talking about change.

We were talking about change. And also, we had Gandhi on last week, and he told us to be the change. You guys are getting some supreme guests lately. Yeah. He was a get. He was a real get. Gandhi was a get. Yeah, I think that guy might have been, like, lying to us.

Because I looked it up later. He looks a lot like Ben Kinkley now that I think about it. The last time he had gone down the show was 2014. When he first moved here, because he wanted to be a big fish in a small pot. I just want to clarify. Like, I didn't think I was any kind of amazing comic at the time. I just thought, I'm two and a half years in. I've gained some headway in Toronto.

Yeah, let's throw it all the way. I don't know if I'll be able to keep that up here because I'm not. So I'm going to go and showcase for a year in Vancouver, try and impress everyone with my 10 or 12 minutes or whatever. And it worked out. It worked out. How long did it take for you to get that first 10? Because everybody feels like has a different amount of time that it took them to get like a 10 where there, or seven even. It was like, this is like a feel from start to.

Yeah, yeah. So it's hard to say because back then you think you have more time than you actually do. Yeah. So I think I probably had like 7 to 10 or 10 to 12 actually, but I thought it had like 15 probably or I thought I was closer to where I wanted to be than I was. There's a lot of people who think that they can record a whole special. Yeah. You talk to amateurs.

I'm like, how much time do you have? And they're like, ah, half an hour. I'd be like, you've been doing this six months. Yeah, even for my friends. I would, when I used to work at the club here, and I would just middle. You're supposed to do 25 minutes. I don't know why they thought I had 25 minutes.

I know I didn't. Yeah. No, totally. When the amateurs are first saying they had 30 minutes and stuff, I was just feeling bad for myself because I was like, I didn't get that much that fast. And then I'd watch them. Yeah. Oh. Oh, they have delulu.

Yeah, because the big thing was in the city you have 20. Then you go out on the road. Oh, yeah. Seven, six, seven. Yeah, road. Yeah, really. catch you back. Yeah.

Because I feel like everybody... We haven't seen the same commercials out here. Oh, my jokes are about. You guys don't know Dodd furniture? Yeah. You guys don't know Rio Mare Tuna. That's not broadcast in Small Town. It's the tuna in the bag.

Yeah, I don't know why it's on the roads in Small Towns. That seemed to be where, like, people almost didn't want to be at a comedy show that were there. They seemed to be very hostile towards the thing. Yeah. hate to come see. Well, when they throw you off mid-joke, too, you can't very well be like, okay, I'm going to start that joke again. I should, though.

You know what? To punish everybody, I'm starting the joke from zero. Actually, I'm starting the whole set again. Applied so I could come back out and say, doing it yourself. Yeah. That would be kind of funny routine. If it didn't go well and then you just kept doing that, it's, you're doing too much now. I've got to go back and do it again.

Yeah, it feels like a grandhog day. Sometimes works when people reset the show like that. Yeah. And they like go, let's make believe. And then like if they have a make believe audience, it's like, yeah, I love make believing. Yeah. Then they do. The audience loves that kind of stuff.

Yeah. A good make believe audience is mostly like six, seven-year-olds. Unfortunately, that's my crowd of it. Yeah. And I only do bars. Uh-oh. Have you done legion? Have you done?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like a ton of legions? I'm hit, I'm hit or miss or like, it's always different. I think I'm mostly miss in legions. I feel like I've had a couple really good shows in legions, but you feel like legions are tough. Yeah, if the demographic is all older. Yeah.

And you don't approach it that way. If you're not really thinking about that, you can bomb big time. And there's people there who thought tonight was meat draw night. Yeah. What are the top legion activities? Meat, draw. Bingo? Bingo, darts. Oh, sure, but do they don't have darts night? No, yeah. Oh, you mean just like, oh, like probably wedding receptions and stuff.

Not receptions, but parties, I feel like that's a big religion thing. Of course, the Remembrance Day. Yeah, yeah. It's the comics up and they're like, why isn't they, why aren't they talking about World War II? Yeah. Like, then you're like, you're like, yeah, you just go, hey, anybody here, a fan of the U-boat? And if we go, yay. No, we actually, we hate them here. We like our boat.

Do you know, do you ever run into someone who can, like, name different kinds of tanks? Oh, my goodness. I think Pascas, Mike Belazzo, he's a World War reader. So I feel like he would know a lot of tanks. I remember in college, there was a guy who was like, was like, Like, he was my age, he was a student like me taking the same history classes as me, and he described himself as an expert in military strategy. It's like, all right, well, maybe you read one more book than I did.

Yeah. Well, I mean, that's the thing is there's people who that's their thing, that they know how to fight in the military, which is more than I got, you know what I mean? I'm really, I'm more of a military strategy guy because you get the big table with the map on it and you push your forces. I don't know if we go this way. There's a Wendy's. Yeah.

We can get Frosties. They just open the Wendy's and there's just like jets hovering outside. I went to Wendy's yesterday because Alicia Tobin informed me that they now have a cinnamon toast crunch frosty. Whoa. What? And? And the top layer, it's a. White Frosty.

It's vanilla frosty. Okay. Vanilla frosty. With like a sort of a cinnamon swirl throughout and just a top layer of cinnamon toast crunch. And that top layer, oh, that's an A plus. Okay. And the rest of it is a C.

Oh, so, yeah. And it's not throughout. No. It's not a blizzard. Yeah. Like, can I ask you? Like, why is it a C? Is it because of the infection of the vanilla?

It's the, not the infection of the vanilla. It's just. boring. I was just bored by it. I just really got upset at the vanilla when it first came out. Yeah. And we'll not try it. I'm a frosty purist. Yeah, I agree. And I haven't had a frosty saying that. I haven't had a frosty in like forever. But I will not entertain any kind of other. It is a yeah, it's lackluster. When in frosty, you want to joggle frost? Yeah. You want the, yeah. But it's, it's, have you had it since they switched to plastic containers? I thought you're like plastic frosty. Because it used to be that kind of paper cup. Right. Now it's a plastic container.

Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I haven't had a, I just, wow, I haven't had a frosty forever. But you're right. If I want a frosty, that's what I don't want a fancy. It's weird that they got rid of the paper cup. Your eyes were completely closed. Replaced it with a plastic. Yeah.

But took the plastic spoon out, replaced it with wooden. Oh. Okay. I'm out. I'm out on the frosty forever now. Forever. Are you in on wooden? I can't wooden spoon.

I literally get chills through my body. If you get off a wooden spoon. Sucking on those fibers. Like when I'd have an ice cream when I was younger, like on this stick, I could, I stopped licking the stick. Yeah. I've, I went, it's not worth it. To linkwood. Is it affecting my mental health?

I was seven. I'm like, this is affecting my mental health. I totally, I agree. I don't know what it is. It's like I also have the thing where two forks, I have it with metal too. If two forks get stuck together, I can't pull them apart. I'll leave it. I can't do it.

Why are you eating with two forks? Like in the cutlery jar. Oh, I see. Yes. I can't. Oh, I don't know. But you've got to separate them. They're in a fight.

No. they can fight to the death. That's what I say. Next time you open it, one of them withered away. I got a smoothie from a smoothie place and they had bamboo straw and I was like,

this seems too robust to be a throwaway straw and then I bit it and it cracked in half. I was like, oh, okay, so it's not, just seems like it's robust. Did you bite it to test?

Yes. How far into the smoothie were you? Halfway. There's those, I think rice straws too They're like, you can eat it But it's like It's like eating

Raw pasta It's terrible I tried but I gave I was like no Yeah It's not it's not polite society To do this You have when like

Big macaroni would be a good Straw Well it'd be fun too Whoop Yeah The shape would be cool What is the Scooby-Doo? Oh yeah

Yeah Do you have utensils on plates? Does that one of the things that gets you? Fork on the teeth? I think it takes the exact angle. I think also the metal has to be integration. Right. But I think once in a while I'll get, you know,

the noise, that screech. Yeah. That is the thing that would get me, but yeah, it's not too bad. It's the opposite of ASMRI. Yeah, I don't know what that is. The one that really gets Sally, when I were at Valley Village

is the moving of the the like coat hangers on the metal. It's very shrieky. I don't notice it, but it's like, I'm like, that is correct. I think that's awful. Emmanuel Shrieky was the, was the star of Arterage.

Which was he the, the, she was. Oh, check my brief. She was Sloan. I believe she played Sloan. I wonder if watching an episode of entourage is fun now. Like if I just checked out a random episode, I wonder if it's fun or if it's really bad or...

This is very interesting to me because I'm vinging 902 and O. Oh, the original. The original. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-tun-da-da-da-da-da-da-oh, Dave's got a guitar. Yes. I'm jizzing. I'm jizzing right now. Oh, so good.

Who's your favorite character? It keeps changing. Yeah. It keeps changing. I'm realizing, like, some characters I hated when I was younger. I actually think that those actors are amazing actors. Did you watch it originally? Yeah, I watched it originally.

And then it's, like, only rated, like, six point something, which is crazy. On IMDB? But there are, yeah, there are elements that you're like when the boom's coming into the shot. Like every five episodes, you're like, yeah, okay, I get that. Maybe, I feel like there's maybe some things from back in the day that were, they accounted, they couldn't account for the fact that we would have flat screen TVs that wouldn't cut off any edges. Ah, oh, maybe that's good.

Maybe you need to put some tape on your TV when you watch it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does really take me out of it, yeah. What's the character they haven't warmed up to at all? Is it who they were totally spoiled and played? Well, I love, I was crushed when Chinando already left. Yeah. She was a really great actress.

She was a very competent actress and like something very, very interesting about her face. Yeah, she did have an interesting thing. Very beautiful, but she had like a little tooth gap, which I'm a sucker for. Yeah. And she just, she was like the lone wolf. Like she just went off on her own and was doing her own thing, and she was very independent. for like that age. Yeah.

And like just sort of following her instincts, her heart and stuff. So I really like that character this time around. I think in the beginning, I was like a Christian girl. So I was like, she's such a bitch and she's so mean or whatever. Hey, Christian girl. Stop calling people bitches. No, I probably didn't say that because back then it was a bad word. Actually, for a while, you know how it's a normal word now?

Yeah. For a while when it was like cool to call your friends. and stuff. I was getting my feelings hurt and stuff. I was like, oh, okay, but now I'm fine with it. I'm acclimatized. And also, I don't go to church anymore, so that's probably helping. Are you a Christian teen? Christian preteen. Yeah. Well, a big church weekend coming up. It's Easter. So if you want to, you should go now. Right now? Well, no, this weekend. See ya. I knew they're going to call Jesus a bitch.

Because it's okay now. Church is so cool now. Yeah, church is kind of edgy now. I'm just wandering around trying to find a church open on Wednesday at dinner. I think you're probably. Yeah. Usually Bible study on Wednesdays. Yeah, true, true, true.

In movies, it's this, and I honestly, I don't know the answer to this, because in movies, a character will go into a church just in the middle of the day, and there's like people, like you're allowed to just go in there and sit in a pew. And, yeah, contemplate, and then maybe a priest will come up to you and say, get the fuck out of here Was there an open sign of the door? It's not a fucking Airbnb. Yeah, they say F now too.

Is it? Yeah, I feel like it happens in movies usually at a Catholic church. I feel like a Catholic church, they are rolling 24 hours. Because you can go get confession. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they just have it packaged for you.

Yeah. They can have like skip the dishes or whatever. It's a reverse skip the dishes. Oh, I wonder if you can, Can you get Holy Water delivered on skip the dishes or on Uber Eats? Oh, my God. Right? Hey, the church should open up to it.

They'll make some money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I don't know what the protocols. There's only somebody of the, of the religion allowed to hold Holy Water or I don't know what. Were you going to say Holocaust? Yeah, I was going to say Holocaust. I'm glad I didn't. The, uh, I saw a, um, church, uh, I guess about 40 days ago, uh,

advertising drive-through ashings on Ash Wednesday. Oh, okay. Which was... Cool. Not something I ever saw before. I feel like in the last 10 years, it's really going nuts. I feel like there's like Hollywood people that do it. And I don't think it ever happened when I was younger, the ash on the forehead.

Yeah. Yeah. I think it happened when I was younger, but I would say like, I was in Toronto. Yeah. You're sort of a small fish. As I say, melting pot. Haund. Yeah.

I was in the big pound. Did you have any, like, I feel like, are you trying to filter on? I saw so many fish with the ash on there. I feel like if you were teen in the church here, all your time is spent trying not to be horny. Like, that's like the whole, because you're like, it's evil, it's evil.

And for how many hours a week are you in the church trying not to be horny. I found Sunday mornings looking at Jesus on a cross pretty easy. He's ripped, man. He's so hot. Oh, man. It's all those baby lambs, too.

I love baby lambs. So I'm like, I was looking at him and going, he's so good looking and then he has the perfect pet. Like, yeah. Yeah, he's a dream man. You're the perfect pet? Yeah, if a beautiful man like that has a bunch of baby lambs and he comes to your door, you're like, yes, you will be my partner for life.

Does he have a bunch of little lambs? Yeah, you didn't know? Well, I know he's like, they say he's a shepherd, but he's really a carpenter. Yeah, that's true. There's, there were, I was, I was in a Baptist church, and there was, there was one particular photo that I was a little aged up over. You think it was a photo? I was a little aged up over it. I'm not going to lie.

I would like be licking my lips all around. Turns out you just really wanted some land. Oh, no. Oh, no. No. How dare you? Oh, I love lamb. Oh, no.

Sorry. My eyes are closed again for the rest of the pot. Oh, no. Are you a vegetarian? I'm a pescatarian. Okay. Well, you would have like, Jesus, he made all those fishes for people. Yeah, and that's what my girl, because I was vegetarian for a very long time, but I was

probably quite unhealthy because we were A number one already, weight trash, and then B number two, I mean, weight trash diet. I guess we were trashed too, but in that... Well, you are what eat. We were the upper class of the white trash, I guess. And then, yeah, my grandma would always say when I was not eating meat at all, like no even fish, she would say, but Jesus was a fisherman. Wait, but he was a carp. Yeah, and he was a shepherd too.

Jesus ate fish. He got a lot of jobs. What is the white trash diet in your eyes? It's the staples of carbs. Yeah. Um, occasionally with mold. Sure. Sure.

Okay. But they're not specifically like Wonderbread or... No. Okay. Like the no name. Okay. The no name loaves. And then crazy?

What do you think of this is? No name loaves and pigeons. And then it would be milk in the bag. You know, milk bags. Yeah. And, um... Hey, they're milk bags. Are you doing their milk bags?

Hello. Hello. Yeah, and bananas. I got to tell you, I drink a lot of milk. Yeah. Apples probably too, yeah. And apples and bananas. But the apples, the bananas would be quite dark in.

Secondhand bananas. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Bananas are still quite cheap. Yeah. Bega, baga apples, think of a bananas. What do you call it when it's altogether bunch? A bunch of bunch of. I think of, I was expecting you to say it was like,

like pasta probably No like pork rinds or Yeah Yeah well we fry a lot We do a lot of frying And like would you Fry fish? Probably eggs

Fried eggs Okay Yeah that's fine I think fried eggs Yeah these just sound like Staples of heavy Oh really? Yeah

But I feel like not enough veggies at all You haven't listed any veggies Yeah That's true Yeah But apples and bananas are like Not the worst things for you They weren't always there.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, they weren't always there. But the bread and milk were always there. And, you know, what I will say is probably good for my bone development. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never broke a bone. I never broke a bone. And you're, no, six foot four.

Oh, my God, I am. I grew a lot on my walk over here. Yeah. It's just the way you're carrier or something. I'm a tank just like you guys. That's how we know about tanks. Yeah, yeah. That's right.

You're a tank. I'm a panzer. See, you knew a tank. I know one tank. Yes. Oh, Sherman? Ah, there you go. Two tanks.

The Shermanator? I think you could hold the conversation. Stiffler's mom. I feel like when I was a kid, everybody's grandfather was war guy. They all, like, wanted to watch war things. Oh, really? Yeah, because I think they'd been to war. Yeah, grandfather or father.

Yeah. There was a lot of, like, you know, World War II History Channel stuff about. about Hitler, his buddies. Mussolini. Who's the other one? Who's the other big, who's the big three? Hitler, Mussolini, isn't there a third? Buda?

Yeah, it was Buddha. I mean, from World War II? In World War II, yeah. I mean, Winston Churchill. But the bad team. I mean, I don't know who is the president of Japan at the time. Right. Hirohito?

There we go. We know one Japanese guy. Two tanks. Two tanks. one Japanese official. A German and an Italian. Yeah. And that's, boy, I think we could probably survive a conversation with one of us.

Yeah, we could probably go on Celebrity Jeopardy. The categories. Tanks for the memories. The little brother's going to be five of these things. Oh, my gosh. They're launching, I think, this week, unless it was an April Fool's Day thing. An attack on.

Jeopardy on YouTube. Oh. I don't. Well, no, they did do an April Fool's thing of saying they're going to have dog contestants. That would rule. Oh, my God. We're recording this on April Fool's Day, by the way, listener. That's why.

Oh, yeah, I didn't do a prank on y'all. I'm so mad. It's all right. It's wait until you see the one we've got planned for you. Whoa, whoa. I'm sitting on poop, poop. Aren't we all? That wasn't the prank.

Something else is going wrong over there. Sorry, it's the change. When did you first start noticing the change? Yeah, let's talk about the change. Oh, yeah, okay. First started noticing it like rough, like in a rough way about a year ago. Okay. So I think I'm behind most women on average.

So are we talking, we're talking hot flashes. We're talking, that's the big one now. I think I didn't really notice, though. how it flashes right away, but we're talking period in consistency. Yeah. Okay. What is the consistency usually? I find it when I rub it between my fingers.

Yeah. Something like akin to, you don't want it to be like fruit by the foot. You want it to be more. Now it's like a solid. Which is convenient. Yeah, yeah. Comes out like, yeah, like an amendment. Um, no, yeah, I just noticed that inconsistency and, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Some other, some other stuff. Some other things. I want to talk, what, to the doctor? No, I didn't talk to them. I just, well, I mean, the way you're talking to us is sort of, like, it does feel that, like, I've noticed some inconsistency and that and, uh, the rising rage of a lot of women talk about this, the rising rage of all that you've held back and repressed. Yeah, so now I'm just really reading a book on how to assert myself. Okay. I'm trying to express my rage as calmly as possible, but I'm trying to vocalize all my issues. Yeah, privately is where I can do it violently. And then when you're out in the world, what do they say to do? Do you have to like count down or focus on your breath or move yourself in the situation?

Yeah, I know a lot of, thankfully, I know a lot of. breathing techniques that I, you know, help. Yeah, yeah. La Maze. So you name another breathing technique. Oh my God. Whistling, I guess. Circular.

Circular. Yeah, box breathing. Box breathing is really good for, you know, hot flashes or like anxiety. What's box breathing? So box breathing is in four counts, hold four counts. Out, four counts, hold. Yeah. Yeah.

The circular breathing is like how you play a didgeridoo. Yeah. You can also just do like nose breath and hold. Hey, nose breath, that's what you say. I can't. Milk bags. Check out of your nose breath over there. Oh my God.

His nose breath is disgusting. I mean, it's not something we talk about every week is the change. But I feel. like a big part of our audience is oh yeah oh for sure for sure I got um not baby reindeer but it felt like it uh by

somebody who listens to the pod out in Edmonton oh really what does refresh my memory what happens to baby baby reindeer is when like somebody obsessed to the comedian shows up at a show and it's like the person the comics not doing well and then they're like ah ah ah

oh oh and then the comics like uh Okay. Like still trying to do their set. And they're like, ah, ha ha! You know, so.

But this person was just actually genuinely sweet and thought I was the best. And, like, for some reason, that rest of the audience didn't. I was like, cool. But he can see through. He knows. He knows the true quality when he sees it, you know? You know, he knows me from the pod. So he knows me natural.

So he was, like, appreciating some aspects of me that, uh, when I was just commenting on, oh, this isn't going well. and stuff. He was like, this is her. This rules. She's weird and awkward. Yeah. I remember going to a concert of a woman called

Zella Day. And there was a woman there that like Zelladay was her thing. Like she had, she was decked out head to toe in Zella Day. And she's we're chatting at the bar and she said, for me it's Madonna Zella Day. And sometimes Zella Day, Madonna. And I was like,

wow, this is like, you're really all in on Zella Day, which... At the time, did he know who Zelladay was? Yeah, I did, because I heard, like, an album. No, she's an independent artist that, you know, he wouldn't ever have heard of necessarily, but this gal, she was like, Zelladay number one. And do you, for you, is it Madonna, then something else, and then Zelladay? Yeah, Madonna, Paul McCartney's out of day.

What is, is she similar to Madonna? Uh, not really. She's just like a singer with a nice voice. Yeah. Just like Madonna. Yep. She had the gap in her tooth. Did Madonna have a mole?

She does that part of her love? Marilyn Monroe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think she drew it on maybe. Okay. For like a time, like an era of her, you know.

Did you ever? A material girl. Yeah. When she, around that era, you're right. Did you ever draw on a mole? No, I have enough. Yeah. I draw on crow's feet.

Yeah, I make myself look older. Yeah. And then, like, you know, at a certain point and then pick the makeup off. And everyone goes, oh, my God, did you get Botox? Nice. That's cheap Botox. That's like, yeah, yeah. I'm drawing a goiter on my neck.

It's super in right now. We just got to do a lot of shading. Yeah. I mean, it is two-dimensional. I don't mind that I believe you would be very easily you'd be a glow up you could do a little like any

if you wanted to put it on I think you'd be fantastic What is the wow Yeah I mean I wear a subtle makeup I mean I wear a little makeup and I don't wear it for Me I wear it at shows Right and then I don't

Like right now Yeah during the day or for like I I do it basically, it might be out of insecurity, but I think it's also just out of like a kind of professionalism of like performance where I had an acting teacher. She's like, you're very fair. You want to do things that like exaggerate your eyes and like take like if you're doing a big theater, you want to put a lot of makeup on. And like that they can see your expression better.

Right. But she was even saying on camera that I should wear because I'm so fair that I should wear eye makeup. I say you're the fairest of the mall. Yeah. Oh my God. I didn't realize I was going to go this way. Fair has a lot of meaning. Light, light complexion.

Pretty, I guess, in that context. Fares to the mall. But like. When you're being fair. Yeah, you know, rule following. County fair. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, it does.

Yeah. Yeah. I love a fair because, you know, W.T. over here. I love a fair because of WT. Oh, wait, Josh. I was like, oh, WTF, but without the F. Yeah, I've been on the zipper, all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you have a fair that came into town, or was there, like, in Calgary had, like, the stampede, so it was, like, an exhibition, and did you have, like, a traveling fair that went through town? Yeah, we had one that came near this. It was called the Civic Center at this time, and we were, our family. was big skaters, and not in the cool way, like ice skating. What town?

Bramford. Brantford. Brantford. Gertzky. That's why we're a big ice-oriented people. Right. Phil Hartman as well? Yeah, Phil Hartman.

There's a mural that somebody actually sent me of him in Brantford now. Oh, nice. Yeah. Someone sent you a whole mural? Yeah, they sent me the mural in the mail. They had to knock down a wall. And it's just reenacting what happened with him and his dad. Oh, Jesus.

Amber. That's the change. That's right there. She's dark now. She's dark now. When did she go so dark? When, because Wayne Grusky's father was like, he was always wandering at him.

Yeah. Do you ever see him walking around? Yeah, yeah, I met Walter. Yeah. Yeah, I coached a basketball camp or counseled a basketball camp in the summer when I was in high school. And Walter was always hanging about. I love the idea. He changed it from coach to counsel.

I counseled them. So I don't know. me with their problem. He got a camp counselor, but I was like, you know. Yeah. And how was Walter's jump shot? Yeah, that's what I don't know. We just see him at the Gretzky Center, which was right across from North Park Collegiate, which was my high school.

Right. Yeah. And he just, yeah, I guess like. He'd just be, you know. He'd be hanging out. Yeah, well, it's like basically his home is like, it was called the Gretzky Center. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, he had a represent.

So we got to keep a Gresky there at 24 hours a day. So we keep them safe? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, what's the fifth beetle that dropped out? Didn't he live in Liverpool for... Oh, Pete Best? Yeah, yeah. He, like, continued living in Liverpool?

Yeah, he's in, like, a Rolling Stones cover band. Is he really? What? No. Oh. I didn't even pick up that you guys are laughing. Oh. But it's just like, yeah, I guess if that's where you're born,

if you want to stay, then even if you live in there, Yeah. Unless you were in the Beatles, you probably never left Liverpool. That's probably true. Have I ever met a Liverpudlian outside of... Is that? Oh, that's how you call them. Yeah, that's a fun little trivia you can keep it, you know, keep under your hat. I don't know if I'll be a puddly in. There you go. You said it. Liver puttledon. Yeah, we're learning.

Uh-oh. Oh, no. She's asleep again. That took too much out of her. Dave, what's going on with you? busy times the time of year, you know, with April fools doing all my pranks. You were telling me upstairs the pranks that your, your daughter did. Oh, yeah. So my daughter in grade six, her whole class, they all wore, they all agreed to wear one piece of tinfoil as part of their outfit today. I don't know how it.

But did she go? Did she have like, I have the... Yeah, she wore something around her arm. Okay, okay. And then my daughter in grade four, she said, someone, someone put a wumpy cushion on the T-Ber seat. And I was like, a what? A wumpy cushion?

And I said, it's a whoopee cushion. What? No, it's not. Yeah, believe me, it's a whoopee cushion. No, are you, are you April fooling me? Wimpy cushion? I'm going to say wumpy cushion from now on. It's better.

Yeah. Um, here's the thing that's been going on with me. Um, so the other day, I have some, um, I was in my room and I, the dogs were with me and I was working on my computer and the back door was open because it was a nice day. Yeah. Um, and it was just, I was home alone with the dogs and I, uh, went into the kitchen, uh, where the back door is. And, um, the dogs were still in the bedroom. And a bird was in the house. No! No! Oh, that's such a huge situation. It doesn't know how to fly out. It did not know how to fly out.

So, first things first, go back to my room and close the door. Don't let the dogs. Wait, the dogs get out of the room. They will make this so much worse. And they didn't know. They didn't have a sense. They didn't know shit. They didn't know shit.

Okay. So I'm, uh, I've, I open every door. Yeah. To let the, every. window to let the bird out. And the bird's up in like a weird window sill around some plants. So I had to move the plants and open.

Is it sitting? It was sitting, but also kind of like trying to bash its head against the window. Wanted out. Like a fly. Like a fly when it's trying to get out. So I undo that window. But when I get it close to that window,

it flies away. It goes somewhere else. Oh my God. It goes to another window. What kind of bird do we talk? Well, so we had, I put some grass seed back in the backyard and there's little birds come and try to eat it.

Yeah. Tiny little guy. And so this bird. At least it wasn't like a crow flag. No, it was a little tiny bird. And it flies to another window where it's also just like stuck there. Meanwhile, another bird comes in the house. No.

Oh, my God. What? Two birds in the house. No. And I'm like, this is going for bad horse. Because at first I put a camera out I was like oh this will be a nice video Like I'll put the camera to one side

And I'll get a video of me letting the bird out And then the bird flies away And then the video just runs for two minutes And then you hear me say There's another one And that bird flies downstairs No Oh shit

So I come downstairs It's at that window there Yeah I undo that window. It's not convinced to go out. It goes back upstairs. It's like waiting on the stairs. Oh, my God.

And then is this all, your solo this whole? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Two kids. Two dogs, two birds. Yeah. No stones.

Two jobs, just like Jesus. Shepherd and Carpenter. On the weekend, fisherman. I'd rather be fishing. I'd rather be fishing. He's always depicted with that. I'd rather be fishing shirt. Yeah.

And a baseball cap with that with a fishing lure on the brim. So then one of them, I managed to get this bird. So I am like, oh, you know what I got to do? I got to close that door. Like I'm like, do I keep doors open? Or do you create one trying to shoot them in one?

I eventually created one area. We have that sort of mud room that you can close off. So I got, I closed all the doors. I got the birds into. to that one little room and I closed it off and then I went outside open the door from the outside.

Meanwhile, they had gotten in the bathroom. They were like... Fushing their teeth. But I basically, after, after, it took about 20 minutes and then afterwards I went everywhere they had been and they had left tiny poo in like almost every spot.

That's what I would do. It would be chased by a giant in a place that I couldn't. I'm trying to help you. April fool. April fool. Boo-boo. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had that where a bird is flown into the house.

I've had situations where cats have brought birds into the house. Sometimes dead, sometimes not all the way dead. Oh, no, do you have to finish the job? No, I tell the cat. This is your problem. Take this back outside. Can you just throw it as far as you can? See if it flies.

It'll either get the hang of it in mid-air or either way. It won't be a problem. them anymore. The neighbor's like, did you throw a dead bird into my yard? Well, I'm a cat. Yeah. And that's the cat's trying to be nice, bringing you a present. Yeah. A crow. It left a crow. I didn't think cat could take down a crow. Yeah. And crow will try to be nice by giving you a shiny object. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Huh. I didn't get mine. Oh, shit. Yeah. I've got a couple gifts, not to brag. Yeah, what do you got? Are you nice to crows? I am now. They used to attack me. Okay. But now, I'm I've, you know, come to peace with them.

Uh-huh. And they leave stuff in my, it's kind of like a compost slash garden thing. Okay. They leave like, yeah, when it's shiny stuff, like just kind of like garbage. Yeah. But they like you. They like me now. Do you feed them?

Did I ask this already? Do you feed them? No, because I still have some trauma about them coming from my head. Was this during, because there's a swooping season. There's, yeah, when they swoop me. Oh, man, I'm on edge. Swooping season is the best. It's June.

I walk a lot. So, sweeping season is so scary. It is, yeah. We, uh, this street, there's like usually one or two days a year where we just sit at the front window and watch people get swooped. I was on, okay, I've had two times. I was on my phone once with my friend and I was getting swooped big time. And I was on the phone. I'm like, I'm getting swooped by, I'm, the crawlers are coming for me.

And I don't think she realized like the severity of it. Right. I stay weirdly calm in my voice. I think. And so I'm like ducking, like, buy cars, like to, like, protect myself or whatever. They're swooping me. And then I'm like, oh, my God. They stop smoothing.

And I got on the phone. I'm like, okay, I was just attacked by crows. It's good. And then the people across the street, they're like, they're coming. And I had to die back down again. They saw me get swooped earlier. They're like, they're coming back. And I'm like, oh, my God.

I've had times where I'm, like, out walking the dogs and I get swooped. And I'll think, like, they're just trying to scare me. They're not going to, they're going to come close, but they're not going to touch me. And then they totally touch me. They touch your, when they touch your hair, it's like, I've almost like rolled my ankle or spraying my ankle trying to get out of the swoop. Yeah. But since then, I've also, like, been in between coyotes and stuff. So I have more perspective.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Okay. If I can survive a pack of coyotes, then. When you say you got in between them, do you mean you were like? I got in between. Did that? Did that?

Like, they. And I was scary. I was on the phone then as well. Were they, where was this? At a park or on a street? It was, uh, there's always coyotes in my neighborhood. Um, so it was like, I don't know what school does. There's an elementary school right beside dude chilling park.

Oh yeah. I know that one. So, uh, one coyote, I was on the phone. One coyote crossed my path like probably like six feet in front of me, not very far. What time of day? It was pure daylight. Like, I would say three. Wow.

And then. Was it a school day where you're like, just wait a, few minutes the kids will be getting out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I can't remember, but they weren't out in the yard. I know that. The kids weren't out in the yard.

And so the coyote crossed my path, and I was like, oh, my God, that was close. And then the coyote crossed the street, but then the coyote stopped and was looking at me. I'm like, oh, why is it looking at me? Yeah. I'm like, oh, my gosh. But I was at a corner. So, like, when I was about to turn the corner, I realized, oh, the coyote's looking

back at its bud. It's buds here. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm walking right into the bud. Right. The dude there. So there's dude in bud there. There's a dude across the street looking at us, seeing what's going to happen. And then the dude I'm running into, he's like, oh, shit.

She bigger. So he thankfully went around the cars and onto the street trying to be peaceful coyote. Okay. Then there's, he's, like, traveling across the street to the other dude. And then there's another dude fucking behind that guy. Three coyotes? Wow. Wow.

Shit. Now I see them all the time, the three of them. And I hear them murdering things in the night. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's a good time. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you just got to stay calm and distance yourself.

And they are not, they're not afraid of people. No. Yeah. Like, they know that we pose no threat to them even though. They used to just howl next to my old house. Yeah. Yeah. And they like, I know that, I know past guest Alicia Tobin sees them all the time around this neighborhood.

Yeah. She'll text me all the time. Yeah, be careful. Yeah. We have small dogs. You have dogs. Yeah. Yeah.

When I'm on my balcony, I see them and there's people walking the dogs. I'll be like, excuse me, just watch out. There's like, I just saw a coyote go that way. Yeah. They're like, why are you talking about me? Yeah. Oh, thank you. What are you, the coyote whisper?

Get the fuck back in your apartment. My dog's taken a coyote before. I don't think you have a lot. Anyway, some birds flew in the house. It was freaky. It's so freaky. Have you had any bad luck since? I heard that's bad luck.

Oh, God. Yeah, maybe. It was before I went to Mexico and I, oh, yeah, we did die on route. Yeah. And you got Montezuma's revenge, right? And that's what you died. No, Montezuma and I decided to let bygones be bygones. That's nice.

That was a big thing in the 80s and 90s. There's still ads like, there's an ad of a couple that like are switching off in the bathroom. And that's like a dukerol? I feel like dukerol. Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke. Get the guitar. But there was a, yeah, there was a, there's a lot of ads for like, don't get

hepatitis on vacation. You don't tell me what to do. You can get it from ice cubes. Don't talk to me. Yeah. Do you find that a lot of Vancouver that people just like, they'll shut it down, any kind of conversation? Yeah, because one of the other times, I was getting swooped.

Like, I went for help. Yeah. This woman was just putting stuff on the top of her car, and I just ran to her because I was getting swooped so much. So I started going into, like, survival mode and panic. And I was just like, hey, anyway, I'm just, oh, the crows are trying to get me. And she's like, yeah, they're doing that. And she's just like, she's like, don't look at her again. Like, she looked away and she's like disengaged from this.

How many, like, do they follow you for blocks? They follow me. I don't know if it's because I have like fair hair. Remember the fair? Yes, you're one of the fairest. Yes, that's right. Or I also have some silvers coming in. Oh, yeah.

Oh, sure. Thank. We all get a little bit of snow on the roof there. If that were the case, there would be crows just like attacking old people. Yeah. Which when you say it, sounds hilarious. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Look at this silver-haired bastard getting swooped day and night. Yeah, my brother Patrick was attacked by a goose. Oh, he's so fair. Oh, my gosh. He is. He's very fair. Monday's child? He's fair of face.

He was. It's Tuesday, child, full of grace. Yeah, Thursday's child is full of woe. Thursdays child is far to go. Friday's child, hey, man, it's the weekend, baby. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about Saturday, Sunday. We got it.

Yeah. Yeah, he was attacked by a goose and like, like, they'll bite. They'll full on bite. Yeah. And they're, they freak me out. Geese freak me out. You know, we're supposed to be very proud of them here in this country. One of the breakout bands of last year.

Oh, yeah. Why is everybody talking about geese? Was it, are they good? Geese good? I got to get, I got to put. Are they Canadian? No. I got to put some time aside to vote some time to listen to geese.

Really get to the bottom of it. But you know who I really like? Zellus. Saladay. Sal a star, great name. Graham, what's going on with you? So, a person that we all know,

well, you know her ever, but Dave and I know her, Christine McAvoy, who's kind of a dog sitter to the star. She, dog sat my dogs while we were in Mexico. And many times before. Yeah. And she's,

she does it like dogs, dogs love her. Anyways, that's aside from the point. She co-hosts a Simpsons trivia night once a month. Your eyes just went so wide. It was so fun. At the end of the club where you used to do shows. Someone's eyes have to open up. But yeah, I thought, the first time I thought I was like,

I'm going to cream everybody. I know so much about the Simpsons. is almost in the complete, like, second last place. Whoa, they're not good. Did you grow up watching The Simpsons? Yeah, but I've also then smoked a lot of weed. So I'm not one of these, like, reference. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

People will say Simpsons references, and I'm like, what? Yeah. I thought they just sat, they were just saying that. Like, I thought they were just saying that within their day, but it was a total non-sequitur, so I'm confused. Yeah, you just walked away. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I smoked a bunch of weed. That's why I can only remember two tanks. Yeah. There's got to be one called like a firebird or something like that. Thunder, thunder, guns. Does Rancor have the top? Oh, you know, they do. David, look at it.

Let's see, what are the top ten tanks? Well, if I look up top tanks, I'm just going to get tank tops. No, with that? Famous tanks. Okay, famous tanks primarily defined by their impact during World War II include the Soviet T-34, the German Tiger one, and the American. for Sherman. There you go. Three tanks.

Anyways. Ten tanks that change the history of armored warfare. Okay. The British Centurion. Who's this lady? Sleep apnea ad. Look at her.

She's breathing smoke and trueling. Wait, what? The panzer. Panzer. Yeah. Let's go over to your screen so you can see that lady. Oh, my God.

She just vaped a whole. Yeah, she looks a little bit like Lady Gaga. See, I can't read it. The British Whippet Tank. Okay, little tiny tank with a little tiny tail. The Panzer Mark 4. Two Panzers so far. The Char B1.

I think that's my favorite so far. The Char. The British Mark 1. This is an old-timey, like 1800s tank. That looks like a trailer, like an airstrean trailer. It looks like a tank from this gun area looks a lot like a sci-fi movie from the day the Earth's still. Yeah. And it looks like it's a tank.

a penny farthing. Tiger tank. T-34, T-34, wait, M-4 Sherman's, isn't me. Somebody at home is like, God damn it, say the M-4. Number one, Abrams. Um, M-1 M-Berden's Tank.

Well, congratulations to everybody who entered to the tank competition. I'm surprised there weren't more that rang a bell. Um, yeah, I think Panzer was the big one for me. Um, so, uh, she hosts a very fun, Simpsons Trivia night once a month.

And around Halloween, there's a costume competition. People dress up as a favorite, like, characters or moments or whatever from the show. And then this past month, they have Diorama Night. Diarramara. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. And so, like, let's think back to when the last time you made a diorama was. Dave, probably more recently, because you have daughters.

You probably helped them without a diorama? I've never been good at that. Okay. But my kids do, like, miniatures. Okay. So, yeah, probably grade five. Grade five, yeah, same here. How about you?

I did a high school diorama probably by choice because I love stuff like this. Yeah. I thought it was going to be like an artist, like fine artists at one point. So I love like crafty things. I did a type of volcano. Oh, cool. Which I obviously can't remember the name of now. Make it out of cotton?

How did you make the tornado? Was it a panzer? No, I think I did a styrofoam and then I carved it out. And then I, like, had it, like, in a 3D thing where I, like, lifted it off of the, and I put, like, trees and houses in it and put a little. Hell yeah. This was for your geography. It wasn't for a high school geography. A class where you learned about the movie twister.

I, yeah. You didn't learn that on your own on the streets. And then before that, I think it was, like, when we're learning indigenous. So it was like I did like a in elementary school. I did like the Iroquois. Like I did little homes and stuff and studied the Iroquois. I forget the other tribes name. But yeah, I did all there.

Maybe. I can give them to an animal. I know Iroquois. Yeah. I love that stuff. Yeah. I hadn't done one since I was a kid, but I remember loving it. I remember loving making a, uh, a dairama initiative.

shoe box. Yeah. And so, myself and Sally endeavored to make a diorama for this night. And, boy,

first of all, you got, getting supplies for a diorama. Woo, boy, like you, I had nothing. I had paint.

I could do paint. Yeah. I didn't have a box. You didn't have a shoe box? I didn't have a shoe box. I didn't have a box. I didn't have a clay or anything like that.

I needed popsicle sticks, not a single one in the house. Well, keep them away from her. She hates the feeling. Get him away from me. When your doctor would do the tongue depressor, would you lose your mind? Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't like it. I wouldn't lose my mind, like, bite him or anything. I don't know that I've ever had the tongue depressor done to me. Really? Yeah. A doctor can't stop with it. My doctor's a big turn your head and cough guy. Oh, yeah, yeah.

What do you don't know there, Doc? Don't you worry about it, Dr. Duff? He's using the tongue depressor. Poing! How does this feel? Is it on himself? He loves using it. You cover out of the court.

Never mind. Nothing is nothing. He's like something's wrong with your tongue. Oh, what is it? It's depressed. Dr. Joke, you wouldn't get it. So everybody had these very, like, you had to pick a scene. Pick one scene from The Simpsons.

Oh, I would probably do, oh, can I do Family Guy? Yeah. Can I switch it? I mean, that would have been pretty funny. Can I switch it entirely? If somebody brought in a family guy diagram, I think that would have gotten good laughs. But yeah, everybody that did it, it was based on a scene in an episode. Mm-hmm.

The episode, the one I did. You know what? Just because today's April Fool's, I would have done the house having beer. Yes. Yeah, yeah, because Bart shakes up the beer at a paint store. Yeah, yeah. So there's an episode about... And then Chief Wiggum on foot.

Yeah, I'm going to proceed of. And does he need a pretzels? Yeah, I need pretzels. So there's an episode where the Simpsons get a pool. And this episode is called Bart of Darkness. Oh, nice. That's amazing. You're good at the trivia.

You had one of the top people there. Yeah, I probably would probably wipe the floor with these chaperonis. Well, that's the thing. You know, you always had hockey on Tuesday night, so maybe whenever hockey's not happening. It's over now. Yeah, throw some smoke. You should go and see if you can not be second last. Like, you know, like, see where you're at compared to each other.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then go together. We should go together. Yeah, we go together. Absolutely. You'll be so powerful. And I had past guests, Kyle Fines, was on our team. and he's a Simpsons head.

He knew a lot of deep cuts. But the people who know it, they got like two wrong the whole night. That kind of thing. And they were yelling at each other still. They're like, that was you. Yeah. You said Philhouse?

It's Millhouse. Who's the domer you keep talking about? So there was a, mine was from the pool episode. Martin gets a pool. He attracts all. the kids from the Simpsons pool to his pool, they all jump in the pool, it explodes. And then he's left there.

Nelson, the bully, pulls off his swimsuit and runs away. And then Martin's just standing there, no swimsuit, just staring off into space. And then he sings, uh, summer wind, summer wind by himself. That's the end of the episode. A little naked guy, a broken pool. I love it. And so, obstacle stick? Popsicle sticks for the pool.

And then I, in my head, I thought it was just like we do like a printout of his, him and just have him in the, but Sally was like, we got to get some clay. Oh, right. I made a little yellow clay guy. Yeah.

And he. With a butt. With a butt. And the clay that I got was from the dollar store. So not the highest quality clay that you could get your hand on. Was it clay or Playdow? It was clay. Ah.

Was it FEMA? Uh, no, was anything good like that. It was just clay. Like clay brand clay. I love clay. I love it.

Yeah. I love clay. It is fun to use. It feels good. It feels opposite to wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clay, that's what you needed to settle down after playing around wood. I didn't stick my hand in, Clay.

And smell your hands after you. Plato, the smell Plato? Oh, my God. Yeah. They're still salty, too. Like those markers, too, those scented markers. Yeah, I got to buy them just to smell. I'm at home.

Yeah, smart. Like, what is that? Incents? Recently? Did you buy them? I've been thinking about playing them and... Mr. Sketch is the brand, I think. Yeah.

Oh, they're so good. You deserve it. You don't do it. Yeah. You're right. Hey. If not now, when? I've been doing this pods in 2007-volt-d-D.

Yeah, you weren't it. So... And a little, um, uh, intertube or like a floaty. Yeah, a little pink inner tube. What was that made out of clay? Made out of clay? and that that one held up pretty well. What was dreidel, dreidel, made out of?

I forget what I made it out of. No, it was clay. Sorry, I'm clearing my throat so much. So the clay wasn't super strong. So when we laid the Martin guy down, his butt went completely flat. Like it didn't hold the integrity of the butt. So when we'd stand up over here to make more butt,

and during the night, he started shrinking. and then by the end of the night, his butt was huge. Like, they just all seeped into the butt. He was going through the change. So we brought it there. Man, oh, man, the ones like, I liked ours. I stand by ours, but the other ones were so intricate. It was insane.

They had lights and music and moving parts. The only thing I had was I bought, like, a speaker that you put in a greeting card. It's, like, re-recordable. I bought one of those and then recorded the song and then you could press the button and he would sing the summer wind. I saw a, oh, you can record them now in the zoo. Yeah, if you got one, I can give you mind. It sings the summer wind, if you'll honor. Well, you once got me a Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift one one year and a Hannah Montana. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But I saw a video online of a card that is like, I guess, a card you get for someone you hate. Yeah. And you open it up and it sprays glitter everywhere. Oh, shit.

And then it starts playing a song and you close it and you can't turn off the song. Yeah. That sometimes happened with those cards. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this one, it was, it took a while to figure out how to do it. So that was mine, had the song and the little shoebox and the little guy in it. There was an episode where Homer takes Bart to,

an iron mill that he turns out to be like a gay iron mill whole set episode is called Bart of Gainess but they had that it had music it had lights hot stuff coming through had hot stuff coming through

there was the animatronic spark in your hair get it get it out yeah there's the animatronic Chuck E.C. Band that's a happy birthday and You're the birthday boy or girl.

Yes. And we all sang it, which was fun. But it had a crank that made all the characters. Check out the crank on that guy. Oh, my gosh. Check out that crank. Check out that crank. Yeah, hey, milk bags.

But this woman had made it. So, like, they all played the instruments and, like, the lead, the conductor spun around. That's, like, somebody who's doing that for a living. It must be. I don't know. Like, she was amazing. Or, like, a witch with power. She liked a witch.

Or sorcerer, you know. Oh, yeah. I should have throw some water. Warlock. Could be a warlock, a manic pixie dream girl. That would make sense, actually. That tracks. And then there was the top one, and the detail was like amazing, was a scene where

Seidobab has just been underneath a car. Uh-huh. And following the Simpsons to witness protection. protection program. And Saito Bob gets up. He steps on a rake, hits him in the face,

steps on another rake, hits him in the face. On and on it goes, whole parking lot full of rakes. What? They had that, and you could pull it,

and the rake would go up, and he would go, it was supreme. How are these? Yeah. What are these guys? Do these people even, like, trivia?

You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, it's like, this was the night to strut your stuff if you were like a craft person. Yeah, I'm sad. I didn't see it, to be honest.

It sounds amazing. I can send you pictures. Oh, yeah? Yeah, they have a... Video? Instagram. I want to see some video on these action ones. They do.

I think it's probably... Is it called Woohoo Simpson's trivia? Yeah. Dan Cooper chapter. Let's see what we can do here. The, uh, and my team, even though we had a ringer, we still ended up middle of the back. But not, we were not as bad as... Who was your ringer?

Kyle finds. He knew a lot. Yeah. And his wife got one that all of us didn't get, and she's not, she wasn't a fan. Yeah, but she had to deal with him watching it. Exactly. By osmosis, she absorbed it. She absorbed it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's woo-hoo trivia van. But none of them are up right now. But I'll share it. Picks and dizziness. This is amazing. But yeah, so it was fantastic. I didn't win.

I think, uh, Saito Bob guy. I won. Okay. And I won a prize draw. I won a wallet. Meet's wallet. Oh,

the girl. If anybody out there is interested in a Simpsons wallet, I can hook you up. I got a Simpsons' Meatloaf. Yes, Simpsons Meatloaf. I walked away with that. It was very lucky.

One year for Christmas, I bought my brother and myself, matching. We both got a pair of Simpson's socks that said Mill Pool on them from that episode. And Stonecutters rings. Which we have never worn. We're not ring wears. But you can put it on a necklace. It's true. I have it to smash against my tit bone or whatever.

That's the knee bones connected to the tit bone. Who am I? I don't know. Talk like that. Your leisure's hilarious. Oh my God. Anyways, it's a blast happens the last. Tuesday of every month at the ANSA club.

So much fun. And you know what? And it's such a great venue. Great, you've played there many many times. Great people there, yes. Do you have a current show running there? Yeah, I do. Vancouver, or comedy speed dating there.

When can people see that? I have one coming up that it's not going to reach the podcast. In time? Yeah, the podcast release point. Is it this weekend? On the Sunday. Easter Sunday. We're the lonely.

Yeah. We have older women, younger men, speed dating. Bring a ham? Yeah. Bring your milk bags. Does the speed dating, does it one person that stays at the table and everybody rotates you at the table? The women don't have to move. Okay.

Okay. The guy's got a. Yeah. Do you have to recruit to get a? No. People just do it? Is it also a comedy show? Yeah.

We do some comedy to like break the ice. Yeah. Then they do go on speed date. Do you need to have an equal amount of men and women? And is it all hetero? All hetero, unfortunately, because we don't really know how to formulate it. The speed dating, it's one of the great speed dating conundrums. Yeah.

How do we make it a big tent for everybody? Yeah. I guess everyone has to be by or. Okay. Yeah. For it to make sense. Yeah. Yeah.

But that's fine. Yeah. Just. Yeah, I host a buy one. You should do it. It's bi-monthly and it's bisexual. you should really have one on April Fool's Day, Ed, at the beginning,

just as we all know, this is bye night. Everyone here's bye. Everyone starts panicking. Everybody there's wearing a piece of tinfoil. We're going to trigger so bad. Oh, man. Do you guys want to move on to some overheards? Okay.

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And I'm Matt Lee. We are real comedy writers. Real friends. And real cheapskates. On every episode of our podcast free with ads, we ask, why pay for expensive streaming services when you can get free movies from apps with weird names. Each week, we review the freest movies the internet has to offer. Classics like Pride and Prejudice.

Cult classics like Point Break. And holy shit, what did I just watch classics like Teen Witch? Tune in every week as we take a deep dive into the internet's bargain bin. Every Tuesday on Maximumfund.org or your favorite pod place. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment in the show where we like to hear what you've overheard out there on the And boy, there's some juicy stuff every week.

Oh, you're so good at sending them in. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to SPUI at maximum fun.org. And we always like, start with the guest. Amber, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I have two things. Two, okay. So the first overheard, we'll see. But I was at a, I don't know.

It was that great. So I was at a shopper's drug mart. Woo. And everything you want in a drugstore. open until midnight. Oh. And then what do the tills say? Please tell us how we did it.

Yeah. Yeah, I did everything. Yeah. You didn't do anything. That's, I get so infuriated when it's saying that. It's like, no one didn't. Okay, anyway, so this is also, three cashiers are in a conversation at the beauty department. Meanwhile, I just want to set the scene.

I'm walking in shoppers. Someone's walking out the inn, first of all. Yeah. Huge, huge pet beef. They're setting the alarm. They're sending an alarm off. Yeah. That alarm goes off.

While I'm in there, another alarm goes on. The people at the beauty counter just say, oh, yeah, it's okay. They're in conversation. Yeah, yeah. They can't be bothered. Another one goes off while I'm shopping. There's a security guard in there. Nobody's reactive to anything.

And then I overheard the three cashiers, one cashier's like, yeah, you're 26. And he's like, I'm 29. And then the other cashier is like, same shit. And I'm like, you guys are all cashiers. Like, you probably should know what numbers are. But also, they weren't working. So they weren't too worried about it. Also, like, when's the last time you heard someone in a store say shit?

Yeah. Same shit. Like someone working. Yeah. And then I'm trying to go out on the, like, because they're not. not trying to help anyone. No. All the caches are like down.

The ones you serve on yourself, like or self-serve. Yeah. They're messing up. There's a line up on the one person. This is a nightmare. And the alarm goes off again while I'm trying to cash myself out. And then the thing, something messes up. Like, so I have to go to the next one. So then three of those

self ones are broken. And then there's a lineup for the three that are available. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. And like the alarm's going off when I'm coming out. But just a real mess in there. The other day I went to shoppers in there. They were closed because some alarm was going off. They had a piece of paper on saying, like, temporary closed.

I was like, no, this is unacceptable. I have rights. I should be able to walk into any shopper's drug mart between the hours of six in the morning. Grab something. Walk out. Walk out. Exactly. This is my right.

Set off the alarm. Those people in the cosmetics department think they're better than the rest of them because they don't have to wear the uniform. Yeah, that's right. get to put together their own outfit. It's just like, I used to work retail, and I had initiative because I'm from another generation, you know? And so I would have been like, oh, look at this lineup. I would have like been like, come over here half of the line.

I like, I really, uh, yeah, when you're in a store and they open up at like someone notices, oh, we got to open up another cash. And you see someone like who's like a manager or something. They've got a set of keys. They got to put away. And they get, like, it makes so much difference having one more cash up. Oh, yeah. The manager wasn't in this store.

The manager couldn't have been there. And if they were, well, the shopper's going down. Well, I think it's the kind of thing wherever, like, maybe the manager's 30. Here, everyone's a manager. We're all managers here. Can I speak to your manager? Well, he's over here. Dave, do you have an overheard?

Sure, you have another one? Yeah. Oh, sorry. I just wanted to. Do you want to do it now or come back around? Yeah, well, let's come back around. Oh, right. Yeah.

So mine is, so there is a, um, uh, uh, rugby tournament that happens at BC place here every year. Sevens? The rugby sevens. And it is, apparently it's super fun and like, even if you're not into rugby, the games are seven minutes long and there's, oh, is that why it's called seven? Pardon? Like, seven minute halves or something. Okay.

Or halves. Um, and they, like, they, there's so many games happening and they're, because there's so much, you're bound to see something exciting. And people dress up. And people wear costumes. Yeah. So I didn't realize it was that day. I had just gone downtown to see the movie Send Help.

Okay. Oh, sure. With the great Rachel McAdams. One of our finest. And good, good. Check it out. Oh, it is good. Is that the one that Ryan Beale is in?

No. Oh, never mind. If he is, I missed him. Not the one. But the, so I left the movie theater. of matinee. I'm an all matinee guy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I, as I'm leaving, there's a group of just like four guys walking down the street in

Downton Abbey style dresses. Nice. And at first I thought, oh, this is a bachelor party, but normally a bachelor party, there's just be one guy dressed differently. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But they were all in Downton Abbey style dresses. And I heard one of them say, I can dress however I want. And another one said, yeah, it's 2025, mate. And may you laugh because it's not.

It's not. They're British, by the way. I love... And from another time. Yeah. Yeah. When men could dress us down to the ladies. What do they call it?

It's hen night if it's a bachelor's party in for stag. Stag. Stag do. Stag do. Stag do. Oh, I never heard it with the Duxville. Yeah. But you're right. They're very big on dressing up. And also one of the places I went to over there that was like a seaside resort that are all kind of really grimy over there. There was a guy that had been duct taped to a light pole and left by his friends. I don't know what the plan was if they were going to come and cut him down. But was he drunk? Yes. That is so dangerous. You've got to pee. You got to pee. Absolutely. That's so alpha beta kai or whatever. It is.

It's very Alvabeta Kai. My overheard is courtesy of being at a coffee shop, having a little brew, you know? Capitino macchiato. Oh, absolutely. Give me just an affigato. Caramella macchiato. Can you just get a cup of coffee?

I mean, come on. I'm not going to order the thing. You've got to have my Java juice. So it was like, I think, think boyfriend, girlfriend, but maybe siblings, who knows. Were they tongue kissing? Yeah, they were tongue kissing. They stopped just long enough to say this and then went right back to it. You know, I think we might be brothers.

And she was saying, I'm tired of seeing advertisers from my news app. Cut it out news. I was like, okay. Sure. Yeah, bug off. Yeah, bug off. App. But, like, I guess maybe the New York Times has appetizer, you know, recipes or something like that?

I think he said advertiser. No, appetizers. Sorry, appetizers. Appetizers in my news app. Yeah, they do everything over there. The old gray lady. Um, uh, now. My news app.

I don't have a news app. No. I got a news app. I got the Apple News app. You know what? I want appetizers. Yeah. No, I mean, I think she's in the wrong for saying that.

But I think she's a B. Like a capital B. Now, you have another? I do have another. This is just a sign that's on the bathrooms at the Kingsgate Mall. Love it. Cool. Classic mall.

Please help to keep these facilities clean and available for all customers. Thank you. At the top it says, notice. Okay. Sure. Restrooms are not to be used for. Rinsing bottles slash cans out. Oh, these are all yelled.

Rinsing bottles slash cans out. Washing slash changing of clothes. Personal bathing slash grooming. Sure. Smoking, drinking, doing drugs. Jeez. Sorting personal belongings. I think that one's a little harsh.

Yeah. I think changing is allowed. Yeah. Going to a stall? Especially if you're on a date with two people at KTMA mall. Someone's at the liquor store. Somebody's upstairs in the grocery store. Yeah, got to do a quick change.

Occupying stalls for long periods. Come on. You see, I got Manta Zuma's revenge. Violators. Violators. Okay. Will be, underlined. Ask to Vick.

restrooms underlined immediately and maybe may risk being banned from the mall. No. Kingsgate Mall management

and underneath that of course the Kingsgate logo which is just Kingsgate Mall written with kind of an arch that's like a sunset. Yeah, yeah. Or dome. Some kind of dome.

Let me see this. Show me the the warning. I was to see, in my mind, it was handwritten, but no.

Yeah. I do love the sort of like, underline that. No, it should all be shouting. Yeah. Yeah. Do malls,

is that by law that they have to have a bathroom somewhere in them? Yeah, the mall lack. Yeah. 1886. I don't know,

but I like, I like knowing that I can. Absolutely. Yeah. I thought it. You know, I thought I could wash some things there. I want a couple pairs of pants. One day, I walked out and saw the sign afterwards.

I don't know. Yeah, you're drying your pants on the hand dryer. They got the hand dryer. That mall has gone up in status in the last few years. It has. It's not the dirt mall it used to be. Back in the day, I wouldn't ever go in the bathrooms there. Now I just won't go in the bathrooms at Tinseltown.

Yes. But you could go in the movie theater at those. Oh, those bathrooms in the movie theater. Fine. Well, we went to Hoppers last weekend, me and the children. This is a... It's a Pixar movie. Oh, okay.

And so we went, it was at Tinsletown. And for months, they've only had one elevator running. Right. And the one elevator that is running, ooh, it stunk. Oh, yeah. Someone maybe violated a few of the rules in there. There might have been some smoking and staying in the toilet for a long time there. But, okay, so the escalators weren't working when I went.

Elevator. Oh, you saw escalators. Go ahead. Yeah. I got to go. I got to go. No, so the escalators were going when you went, you say. I have, I guess, I'm coming to terms.

I have a fear of heights. and I have like some weird trauma around malls. I saw this weird, very dark thing that I won't maybe bring up because it's so messed up. But I was going down the regular stairs and those stairs are so high. And then the bar, the banister, is so low. Oh, yeah. I'm like, this is wild to have this sort of circumstance in this mall, in this neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, anyway, just a little tidbit. Yeah. I'm not a fan of heights. What were you doing in the mall? I try to see a movie. I didn't, my, I think my phone was dead or something. So I was just trying to see it in Nirvana, the show of the movie. Did you see it?

I eventually saw it, but not that night. But I got into the mall and I was like, this is a wild mall. It's like so huge. There's barely anything in it for how much space there was here. And then also a lot of safety hazard situations, if he asked me. And I am a professional. You should write a letter to the mall. It's like, well, you, yeah, if you, the elevator's not working or escalator's not working, you have your kids on that.

Yeah, but they're not very tall, so they're like railing height. They can hold onto the railing, no problem. But if I'm, if I am remembering properly, it's just a bar. You could go under the bar. Under the bar. Yeah. Anyway, it's maybe too dark of a thing. We didn't encounter that staircase, I don't think.

I've walked up it before when the escalators have been out. And to be honest, if I go multiple escalators worth up a thing, I might just change my plans. I'm not going to walk up six escalators. You're just like telling yourself, yeah, my phone's dead, but the movie's not showing. The movie's not showing. It's going to go home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map.

You want to send one in? send it into sb.wit maximum fun.org. This first one comes from Eric A. This is overheard from a very loud man talking to a group of his friends at a Utah mammoth game. Okay. What do we think that is best?

Oh, no, it's NHL. Oh, shit, I didn't know. They moved from the Arizona coyotes moved, but then became the Utah hockey club and then changed the Utah Mammoth. Is that, do they have like a bones there or something? Do they have bones there? Yeah, why are they the mammoth?

I don't know. Because like, usually isn't it a thing that's the, they wanted to be the Utah Yeti, but they couldn't get an agreement from the Yeti, like, thermos company. Oh, really? Yeah, apparently that's what I heard. I thought you meant him himself. Yeah, he's got, he's very litigious. And he's saying to his friends.

I've seen your husband naked since he was five. So I don't worry about it, right? Weird. Yeah, weird. Because it's like, not since he was a baby. Yeah, yeah. But at five, that's when we started kind of doing naked stuff. Yeah, we were bathing together.

We started bathing together at five. What is the cutoff age of two kids bathing together? That, I mean, depends how big the sink is. Yeah, I think it gets earlier and earlier now. Yeah. Yeah. Boy, my kids, it's been years, so I don't have a confident answer. Fair, fair, fair.

I don't, I assume that's what would have been happening with me and my brother when we were kids. You don't want to run through two baths. Oh, no. Yeah. I think my family was more of a naked family, so they were convincing us that it was, We were the ones who were like, I don't think so. Like, they were like, no, it's cool. Oh, it's totally normal.

Check up my milk bags. This next one comes from Dwayne in Edmonton. I'm writing from a karaoke house party. I just left a conversation and went to the other side of the kitchen to hear one 40-ish female friend say to another, the diarrhea isn't always worth it, I'd say. Oops, I forgot a separate key detail. This was in a separate email. they were standing at the snack table eating deviled eggs.

Yeah, sometimes it's worth it. Having as many deviled eggs you could shove in your face. Yeah, I don't know. I don't eat a lot of deviled eggs. I don't know that that would be a... I like deviled eggs so much that usually when two things like that are so close together in the conversation, like diarrhea and deviled eggs, I won't be craving one, but I just craved one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

moment. No, I, uh, I love them. What do they, so it's a hard boiled egg cut in half, but they take the yolk and they turn it into a... They whip it with mayo. Yeah. And then pipe it. And then pipe it. And if you're lucky, they'll put, I think, a chive on top.

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it'd be like a little, uh, cayenne. Yeah. Yes. When they have all those things. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm at that table. I love caring about the repercussion. I love the chive. Is it chive? I think it's Yeah, Calm and chive on, I always say. What was that website?

It was the chive. But what was it? It was like a bad version of The onion? Maybe. Oh, no. Wasn't it the title based on the onion? Maybe.

But didn't they have like bikini girls? I think it was some sort of message board of the chive. Maybe I'm wrong. Anyways, no way to check. We'll never know. We'll never know. This one comes from, I think is Leah B, at a Toronto Scepters hockey game. Oh, my God.

We are at so many pro sports games. And two young men, roughly 20 to 25 years old, sitting behind my friends and me. And one says to the other, can you Google it when you get a chance? Google. Is Helen Keller real? Oh, she's real. Yeah. No, she was more of like a thing your parents made up to scare you.

You. It's behaving. They also wouldn't name a sports team after her. She wouldn't sign. That's true. What league is that sports team in? Is the Toronto Scepter is their PWHL team? I don't know.

Let me look up. Toronto Scepters is their women's hockey team. Yeah. Oh, nice. Ours is the golden eyes. Yeah. Golden eye. It feels like a bond.

Yeah, yeah. It was. A bond. Good. And The Chive is funny photos, memes, and videos. Thechive.com. Yeah. No, what's the one that got really out of hand?

What was the chive? 4chan? 4chan. Yeah. Yeah, we didn't all the Q&N people meet. I think it was the chive. Well, in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone.

calls and voice memos, send in a voice memo to SPY at maximum fun.org or call us at 1.844-779-631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1 like these people have. Hi, Dave, hi Graham, and hi, hi, illustrious guest. Yeah.

This is James calling from the east of England with an overseen. I'm in a supermarket at the end of World Book Day. In the UK, kids are encouraged to dress up as their favorite characters. from books that they've been reading. So there's a family here who I keep crossing paths with. The daughter is dressed as Hermione from the Harry Potter books.

And her younger brother took me a while to work out which character and which book. He'd found his character in, but it hit me a minute ago that he's dressed up as Mario from the Super Mario books. So nothing to worry about it. there. The future's fine. Off I go. Yeah, I grew up on

the Mario books. Yeah. Yeah. They're turning them into movies now. Yeah. Wow. I, uh, they really should do like

full pros Mario books. Yeah. I mean, there's a story there. There's a, you know. Bowser. And it's one of these stories

that we've kind of been repeating as human beings for thousands of years. Yeah, yeah. It's an archetype. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, we should repeat it again.

Boy, Boy meets mushroom. Boy, squishes mushroom or boy gets star power, firepower. Boy concusses head on block. Or a penny. Yeah. Boy, yeah, smash his head against big question mark. Boy uses turtle shell for weapons.

Yeah. Boy, squishes, goomba. It was really late in life. And by the way, I am late in life. It was recently, as I'm on my deathbed, that I realized the fact that their plumbers is important because they go through so many pipes. And because you see their butt cracks. Yeah, those guys. God bless them.

Yeah, we love them. Here we go. Next call. Hello, Dave Graham and probable guest. This is Cece calling from Pittsburgh with an overdreamt of the boring dream variety. Okay. So I dreamed that Dave and Graham and I were in a train station walking into a train station. And I was chit-chatting and I say, wow, I've never taken the train in Canada before.

And Dave, not looking at me, goes, uh-huh. And then I say, well, last time I came to Toronto, I rented a car, but I really had a lot of trouble with the traffic. And Dave, not looking at me, goes, uh-huh, and then I think I woke up after that. Well, off I go. Wasn't a dream? Was it a real? It's not often that a boring dream gets celebrity caveat. Yeah, but like, accurate one.

Yeah. You're so not talkative. Yeah, you're so, yeah, aloof. Uh-huh, yeah Yeah My guy Oh yeah No I would probably say some smarming

You would have a fact I think Oh you've never taken the train in Canada Well this train was built by the Chinese This is why we travel around with We've got all sorts of facts To whom we owe a great debt Yes Yes thank you

And your final phone call Hey Dave Graham and possible guest. This is Ray and Eugene Oregon. I'm calling in with an overseen. I was getting into my car this morning outside of a Walgreens. And a man rode by on one of those like motorized scooter, like the standup kind with the very loud gas engines. And he had one of those like motocross helmets that was very colorful like full holographic visor. but he was just wearing like a regular shirt and camo pants.

The helmet was like ridiculously large. That's not the overseen. The overseen is that he also had a small tactical backpack on. And inside the backpack was a pug wearing its own tiny helmet and like holographic motorcycle glasses that were fitted to the dog. and it was absolutely delightful maybe one of the best things I've ever seen Love you both We love you too

Do you remember that The pug guy Yeah He's still around Is he? Is the pug still around? He's modified things I think I don't know if he still has the same side part Well I think maybe he

Only has one pug and I think he Yeah he had two I remember him from definitely more than a pug life span ago. Yeah. They were dressed as pilots, right? Yeah, they had sort of a red barren sidecar to a motorbike. But I saw him. I think he's either on a bike, like a pedal bike or like a electric bike.

Well, maybe it was a pedal bike. Yeah. But I don't know if there's a sidecar element anymore. Maybe it's behind him. I remember some changes. Yeah. I think there's one pug. We salute you, Pugs.

Yeah. Pugman. Yeah. you're out there. Drop us a line. Yeah. There's a new guy, though. Have you seen the new guy?

No. I think he's got an animal in like... He's got an animal. I think he's got an animal. Get the guitar. I think, okay, so he's on a skateboard, electric skateboard. He's blast in tunes. So I love this dude.

He's like just having a heyday every day. He's on a skateboard, no helmet, nothing. No. He's got like that carrier thing in the back. which you sometimes put a small animal or small child. Yeah. But usually on the back of a bike, I think, usually have this. Okay.

It's like a tent or, you know, not gazebo, but, you know. Yeah, yeah, gazebo on wheels. But every time I start to hear music, I'm like, oh, yeah, he's coming out. But he's. I just can't picture a skateboard pulling a. Yeah, it's got his pet in there, I'm pretty sure. Huh. He's the new guy.

I haven't seen this guy. Yeah. New guy on the scene. You're going to notice. him now. He's usually in Mount Pleasant, Main Street area. I love it when you leave a neighborhood that you've lived in for a while

and you forget all these guys and then you come back a few years later and they're still there. Yeah, yeah. There's a guy that I used to see forever and ever every time you saw him he was wearing headphones. Oh, yeah. I think he was always kind of rocking to, not rocking out, but kind of like rocking to

whatever he was listening to. I just saw that guy like maybe like six or seven months ago. He looks pretty good. Still, still saying, His hair's gray now, but yeah, he's still rocking around. Gray hair, he's getting attacked by crows left and right. Yeah, maybe that's, maybe you're the neighborhood character that she gets attacked by crows every year. I hope, I wish. I got to start dressing more wild.

Crow-max is time. Yeah, yeah. This is your time. Well, I've been doing this thing lately where I'm, like, making myself laugh a lot, just alone, alone, you know? Sure, sure. So just making myself laugh like crazy and not really caring if people are. like, oh, okay. Nice.

Like, just watching 902 and O 2 and O'N, in my place and like being like, this show is the best, like out loud. Yeah.

I love this show while I'm watching it. Like, it's not like I'm, I can't wait to watch Notto Tuna. I'm in front of it, but I'm still like, this is the best. Are you, like, a worried about it ending?

Like, the show or my life? You think you could time them to, Happened at the same time. Oh my gosh. I mean like, like knowing that, you know,

you've got however many seasons of it, that like one day you're not going to have anymore. I'm not worried because I went through, you know, when you go, you're binging and you go through a, okay, era.

You know, like you go through a stint where you're like, all right. Yeah. There's almost, you're almost putting too much into this episode, you know,

like, or you're, I don't really believe acting this time. Yeah. Yeah. I can, this show.

This show actually maybe lasted longer than it should have. Yeah. Well, it did take a dip when Brenda left, and it did take a dip when Dylan left. I still haven't looked up why Dylan left, but I looked up why she left. He left because he was taking a stab at the movies. Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you eight reasons why.

I saw him. I saw him in one movie, I think. Or actually, I saw a trailer for one movie, and then I saw one of the movies. Is it the one? No, that's the trailer. I saw the rodeo one. Yeah, yeah. Oh, eight seconds.

I get it. now. But I could totally see myself. That's like what you're doing when your head's to the side when the doctor's depressing. Turn your head and make a disson. The doctor's not supposed to say stuff like, one for you, one for me. Now you don't. I'll turn my head.

No, I tried to watch news radio, which is still very funny, but every scene Joe Rogan's in, you're like, there's Joe Rogan. Oh, yeah. You know what it holds up is Frazier. I have to say it right, because I get it mixed up with the street. You did it wrong. Frazier. Yeah. Yes, still holds up, still hilarious.

That's a tough one. People get that wrong a lot. Frazier, Frazier. Well, I was always calling the street the show when I first lived here. And now I'm so overcorrected that I call the show the street. Yeah. Oh, my, well, I often pronounce things wrong. And my brother listens to the show and tells me, like Dave, you say, why do you call it Popeye instead of Popeye?

I don't know. But recently he was like, you say skull wrong. Skull? Yeah. And he's like, it's the difference between. ball and doll. So it's skull or skull. I cannot hear the difference.

Skull or it's you. Wumpy cushion. Wompy cushion. Wompy cushion. But it's cute. That's where it's coming from. Of course. Yeah.

I come from a blaze of cuteness. I know. Yeah. Say that to your bro. I will. Well, that he's listening. When you're both standing there nude. Yeah.

Chearing a tub. Sharing about them. We'll have so much time. Into the bath together. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Amber, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you, guys. I just want to have a confession.

Go on. So this is the first episode, even though I closed my eyes, this is the first episode I didn't disassociate. And I want to say I'm really proud of us. Yeah. I always thought you guys were so, so funny that I would get so nervous. And within the, and then I'd be like, no, you can stop. Get back in there, girl.

Okay. You were in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just feel like really glad about that. Me too. What does disassociating feel like?

Have I done it? I could see myself doing it. We just kind of. I don't think you say, uh-huh, when you disassociate, but you could. I guess I could. Yeah. I guess I do that a lot when I'm reading a book. Yeah.

I do this. I'll read the same sentence or the same paragraph like 40 times and then I got to go, get back in there, girl. I do that too, yeah. Where can people see you performing your very, very funny stand-up comedy? Yeah, they can see me at Cloverdale, Yucks. I think that was May 9th weekend. I'll be there doing the regular show, headlining the regular show,

but then also headlining Vancouver. I also run this show Taco Tuesday. It's every Tuesday at Comedy After Dark, and I will be finishing up my hosting slash running of that show soon. And nobody, baby reindeer her. Yeah, baby reindeer, everyone is doing that kind of stuff. Knock it off. Knock it off.

Take a hike. Yeah. Eat it. Yeah, I think I have, I think that's, oh, I'll be starting a podcast. Actually, I've started it, but it hasn't been released yet with Kelsey Hamilton coming out soon with 604 records. It's called the weekly, and it's spelled W-E-A-K-L-Y. And we're having a great time so far, so. Nice.

You got projects. You got things on the go. I got stuff happening, and I'm trying to, you know, do life. You got to. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I'm doing 18 to life. Oh, shit.

What are you doing for? I tore one of the tags off, I imagine. I recorded baseball without explicit written consent. I had to. birds in my house. Yeah. Speaking of shows, in May, May 22nd, Little Mountain Gallery, 24 hours of comedy, starting May 22nd, ending on May 23rd, big fundraiser for Little Mountain Gallery and the

Downtown East Side Women's Center. So, yeah. Ha, cha-cha-cha. So if you're interested in that, come by, or you can watch it online while it's happening. on YouTube.com. No one thing is right on... Oh, is it?

Yeah, it's probably on YouTube. Anyways, Little Mountain Gallery.ca. All the facts are there. Thank you, everybody for listening. And come on back next week. No, wait. Thanks, everybody for listening. And if you got a wumpy cushion,

missed your chance to use it. You have to wait until next year. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcast yourself. Do you always think of a thing to say? I think I do. Huh. Maximum Fun

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