Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 946 - Colt Cabana

Episode Date: May 5, 2026

Wrestle man Colt Cabana returns to talk the newest wrestling moves, John Mellencamp's art, and the Charlie Sheen documentary. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 946 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. And with me, as always, as a man, I know we're both glad that we're on the other side of Max Fun Drive. We had a lot of fun.

We got to recruit a lot of people. It was kind of like a draft, and we drafted a lot of good players. And so thank you for participating. hating and it's Dave Schumka. Hi Dave. I'm not glad we're on the other side of it. I want to keep the Mex Fund Drive season alive 52 weeks a year. Yeah, that

carry it with you. Carry it with me sort of like you know a bindle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, or a Kindle. Yeah, I gotta keep it with me like a Kindle so I can read the latest nasty

little Dirty little Carl Heiason novel. Thank you, everyone, for supporting us during the Max Fun Drive. We promise to remain the Kings of Boko. We will make you proud in your bonus feed. And yeah, thanks a lot. And speaking of thanks, thanks to our guests, one of our faves, returning guests to the podcast.

It's Mr. Colt Cabana. Thank you for being our guest. Hi, can you do it properly, please? You know my nickname. Do it right. Colt, the Booger, Cabana. Thank you, and I appreciate it. A lot of people get that right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm a purist. I do have giant nostrils. You do. You can see those. I never think about that, but I never think about that. I did have some low self-esteem for it, I think, in my childhood, but I got over it because no one really even, I don't think people look at people's nostrils. I had really sticky outy ears when my ears were much bigger than my kid had.

I love any big feature. You make faces more interesting, 2026. Like, you know, you just want to blend when you're a kid. You don't want to stand out in any way to your performance. Do you remember that Seinfeld where Domerera is one of the comedians at the club at the club? Yeah. Making Jerry look. Are my nostrils getting bigger?

Am I this generation's domaerera? Yeah, you might be. Wow. I thought it was a putty, but I'm a Domerara. Tom Arara. Well, let's get to nose. Get to you. know us.

Oh, you're a putty. Yeah, you are a party. But Don Marrera, I was at Just for Laps, and he was there with his wife, who was... What happened to this? Getting to Know Me stuff. Wait, I'll get your reaction to the story. Thank you very much. We'll tell everyone a lot about you.

Now, what we've learned so far, impatient. Yeah, he was there and his wife, who is way out of his league, like a real smoke show. No one ever says that about Don't. Marrera. No, no one ever says that about like, oh, she's way out of his lake in the other way. She's way down his leg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's in the minors. And it was like a couple weeks after I quit smoking and she was smoking these cigarettes from Nat Sherman's, they were called. And so I had they're like a fancy American like, they're from the... Sounds British. Is that a British t-shirt? No, Nat Sherman. Nat Sherman is cockney rhyming slang for watching Herman.

head. Watching a bit of that show, and she offered me one of the cigarettes, and I had it, and it was the best cigarette I've ever had in my life. And we chatted. We chatted for an hour. He, I don't know where he ended up.

He vanished off and was, like, holding court somewhere. But while me and his gal Irene Arrera. Irene Herrera, if we're out there, give me a call. Were you in love a little bit? No, I mean, with the cigarette? Absolutely. It was the best, like, it was so good.

And it was perfect. It was like inside. at a bar. And then in 2012, Graham and I went to New York for Max FunConn East. Yeah. And that town chewed us up and spit us out. But Graham insisted we go visit Nat Sherman, the tobacconist. It smells so good.

It did smell so good. It was a real hip joint. Is that the last cigarette you ever had? I think so. Yeah. Went out on top. Went out on top. Don Marrera's wife.

No better person to be around than that. have your last cigarette. Dom, if you're out there, call it until the show and let us know how's it go. Or anyone who does a good Domerera impression, we could use it. If we could remember it. And if you could be, like, mad about, like,

where your wife is at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do a little improv, you know, just give you some proms. That would have been 20 years ago? At least, yeah. And Domerara, like, I just, you know, I miss them. Cold has been actually very patient.

Yeah, it's okay. Cold Caban. Hi, the bugger. The booger. The booger. You've been... Bugger Sugar. Yeah.

Well, this episode is coming out, oh, may the fourth be with you. Yeah. I understand you for a birthday coming up this month. Two days. May 6th. Wow.

What are you doing? May the 6 be with you. What am I doing? Yeah, what are you going to do? I think go to work. Just, you're not going to have like a nice lunch or go out and have a fancy dinner? I believe it's a Wednesday.

I believe I'll have been. I'll be in Asheville, North Carolina. There's tons of things to do there. I think I'm going to have lunch on United. Okay. I'm excited about the topest box I'll get. You fly into, you fly on Wednesdays? Fly on Wednesdays.

Fly home on Thursdays. Oh, during the week. This isn't always on the weekend. For my job. Right. Yeah. Which you are a wrestler and behind the scenes guy now. Yes.

You are a wrestler for how many years? 99. 99. 99 years. Yeah. As many years as red balloons that I own. Yeah, yeah, 1999 I started to like 26, 27, something like that. And now I've kind of like, now I do backstage stuff with this company, All the E Wrestling

AW's why here in Vancouver. We have a big pay-per-view at the Rogers Center, which I'm not wrestling at. Am I salty? No. Am I impatient? No. I'm ready to go. I'm ready for the call.

Do you ever, so you transit? Are you still wrestling? I wrestle here and there, but no longer on television, really. Are you, is there any chance someone, you know, gets turf toe tomorrow and needs you to step in? I mean, I always have my gear with me and a little rock sack ready to go, just like Graham, I assume. You always bring a microphone. Yeah, it's just one of those ones that's like a hollow plastic one and he's singing into it. It kind of goes like, woo, woo, woo, you know that one?

And Dave, you always have a Zoom? I do always have a Zoom recorder in front of me in case I need to. to interview someone coming out of a courtroom. And here's a question that I've wondered for years and years. I always forget to ask, is there anything in wrestling that's considered like hack? Like if somebody does a thing, you're like, that's a hack, like amongst the wrestlers.

Yeah, so like the classic, the bad guys in the ring, he's like, he pulled my hair referee. Or like, shut up, that guy. Which is hilariously hacked. Yet, our number one wrestler, this guy named MJF, that's his whole shtick. So it works. And it just, yes, it works. Just because it's hack doesn't mean it, like, it still works.

There are hacks in comedy who are super successful. And they do like, oh, I saw this guy the other day, and his whole bit was like, you pulled my hair. Look at this fat guy. Everybody. Actually, that would probably do very well in a comic club. Heckler destroys comedians' hair. And so you, you're traveling, you're traveling man. I'm a traveling man.

You travel every week? Yeah, every Wednesday in and out. And then we do 10 paper views a year. Shit. No, they're pretty good. Oh. And yeah, that's my schedule. I do some acting.

Since we've been gone. Since we've been gone. Colt can breathe for the first time. He's done a bit of acting out here. I've had some pretty good gigs that I like to share with you. Please. I played the role of the Brooklyn Brawler on NBC's The Young Rock. Oh.

Amazing. When, so you were last with us in 2020 on Zoom and then in person, I think in 2019, maybe. Maybe before then, yeah. Yeah, so I don't know. I've just been wrestling and. And tell me more about this Brooklyn. And then you've been on the Young Rock. And I've been on the Young Rock where I went to Australia for seven weeks.

They shot it in Australia? And I maybe did three hours. of filming. Wow. Did you get to wear the hat? Huh? Oh, I was like the Australian, the national Australian hat. No, the Brooklyn Brawlers hat.

Yes, of course I would. The leather cap he would wear. What did the Brooklyn Brawler wear? Do you want to know what the Brooklyn Brawler sounds like? Yes, go for it. Oh, hey, bro, it's me. The Brooklyn Brawler. I'm on Stop Podcasting yourself.

Thanks for giving to the Max Fund Drive. That Domerara? And that's his hat. He's sort of a leather daddy hat. He smokes a cigar. This is when I guess Brooklyn's reputation was that it was quite rough and tumble. Yeah, this was pre-hip. What would the Brooklyn Brother be now?

That's what I'm saying. Yeah, like he's got macho or he's doing some artisanal frozen yogurt. He's wearing like a leather apron that's... Yeah, he's a barber. He's got a little, yeah, things in every pocket. Anyways, the Brooklyn Brother. And so you play... What is the Young Rock covers Dwayne the Rock Johnson's...

life. Is it still on? It is not sadly. And from what ages? From, like, I think originally it would show, each episode would kind of show like a glimpse of him being young, a glimpse of him like being a middle school and then a glimpse of him as he gets older. Oh, okay. Does he put, does he in it as older self? He's in it as himself talking to, oh, some comedian. Dom Herrera. Oh, you know what? His wife, pretty funny. You know, if you can get Don Amarera's wife.

I mean, I think a lot, there's a lot of really handsome comedians and beautiful comedians that people think are funny, but they're just good looking. Name ten. Okay, let's go. Name one wrestler who they say is a good wrestler who they say is a good wrestler who is just jacked and takes copious amount of stairbacks. I don't follow the business. It has a Brahma bull tattooed on it.

Did, wow. Shot stay. You won't work again. They'll never work in 80. So you'll never work seven weeks in Australia again. So they fly you down there. They flew you? You didn't go on the ship?

Correct. Flew to Sydney. It was supposed to quarantine for two weeks, but it was in the air they dropped the quarantine. Oh. So I just got two weeks. They said officially. No worries, mate. Landed there.

Two weeks of Sydney just to do whatever I want it. Then we went to the Gold Coast for five weeks. And that's where we shot in the Gold Coast. Nice. And it was kind of funny. Oh, so the seven weeks was anticipating that you would need to quarantine. Yeah, for two of the weeks. Yeah.

So I was with like five people while we fake quarantine in Sydney. And it's so funny, the difference of like actors. There was one woman who was the Rock's wife. And she had like six bag, like giant bags with her. And then there was this one guy who played PS Michael Hayes, who was like a guy from North Carolina. or guy from the South, this kind of son of guy. So they casted this guy,

Brad from the South. And he showed up with maybe the smallest roller bag. Love it. For seven weeks. And that was it. That's the way I like to travel. And I got one roll one.

I was like, what's in there? He's like, I got some flip-flops and some underwear. Well, you're going to Australia. You don't need much.

Oh, he was my hero. And still is. When you, because you travel quite a lot, you are on all the, you've got like points. You've got points everywhere.

You stay in all the lounges. You're like contested on At midnight. Nice. Deep pull. Is it? I'm right there with you. What is his name?

Chris Hardwick. It's not a deep poll. He's on TV every day. Is he really? Yeah, he plays the young rock. You've got points. Yeah, I'm sneaking up on two million miles on United Airlines. So what happens when you get, what happens when you get a million miles?

First of all, let me tell you when I got a million miles. Nothing happened. Yeah, was that in the air? Carleton didn't call. you and say in in um uh uh

up in the air george cluny gets like if they have a cake for him when he gets to a million miles that would be the best landing and getting a cake I and then I they sent me a box and I was like oh I'm going to do an unboxing video with this

expecting something like fun yeah there was like coupons for drinks and sounds fun to me a plastic card that said hey you've got you've done a million miles and you can see the rage in me as I'm What were you hoping was going to be in there? Well, my friends of Delta got like a suitcase and a backpack. And it's just...

So you're only with one airline? Yeah. Okay. And is 2 million like, are you in the top 1% of all flyers ever? Well, I mean, I've been saying I'm a 1% for you. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. I would assume so, but there's still times I don't get upgraded.

If you got like, if they gave you like a United Vest, like fleece vest, would you wear it? He's wearing a Delta one. Everybody should know that he's wearing a Delta vest. Okay. Let it be known that I also booked a gig as the United Airlines Safety Coordinator for acting. Okay. And go deep on this. Explain this. So my name was Carl Safley. Okay.

But around here they call me coach safely. Okay. And this was just for the internal people of United Airlines. And I booked it, I think, because in my audition slate, I was like, hey, Colcabana, six foot, one million mile around United. I assume that's why they booked me. Yeah. And so then, like, I did a conference and this, like, video that everyone watched and I was coach safely where I was coach, I was teaching every, like, as a failed football coach who was teaching everyone at United to be safe. So of course, I made friends with everybody at United.

Hell yeah. And of course, so now recently United's has 100 years of flying, and they just put out. I'm not, are you, either you guys sneaker heads? Yeah. I knew it. Yeah, I don't, yeah. I mean, I'm a sneakhead. I'm wearing a new balance.

This is a five, no, is a nine, nine seven. That looks like a Washington commander's specialty. Yeah, oh, man. But I, uh, hate their new name. Which is the commander. So the United put out a sneaker that's like from Nike. That's the United. colors and it says like 100 years on it, you could only buy it if you work at United Airlines.

Okay. So I put an on call to some of my friends. I'm like, I'm going to need this. They're like, it's $125. I was like, I feel I have to. Yeah. $125. The most middle price sneaker Nike's put out.

And what are you like a, are you a sneaker head? Not at all. But like what have you done with these shoes? Do you wear? I haven't gotten. It's only on pre-sale right now. Okay. Four people that work United and Coach Safety.

Oh, I wonder if they're going to go up on, uh, go. It's goat. There's like a website where you resell things. I think it's called goat. eBay? I know eBay. No, but there's one just for sneakers. Oh.

Come on, guys. Come on, sneaker heads. Get it together. I know the ones where you just sell jackets. That's a coat. Coat. I, uh, I follow, it's very funny when you follow people online and like they start getting a bit of a following and they like you can tell that their brands are starting to send

them stuff because they'll like wear the Nutraina fleece jacket. Oh yeah. Oh, you know what? Once you're like at the upper echelon, you don't even take that stuff out of the box. But yeah, it's a, uh, I don't follow anybody, but they do get a lot of, uh, you don't follow anybody. Oh, you don't follow anybody. Yeah, I'm not mad about it or impatient.

So all my content. Waiting for your follow. All my content is. I'll follow you after the show, is, like, a guess by the algorithm. Like, it's like, is it that? Is it this? Could it be that? And there was for a while influencers opening, like, beauty products and then doing a, doing, like, a makeover.

And that seemed like they get a lot of money to do that. They're like, they get product. And then I think they're getting paid just to do that one. He's not lying. He follows nobody. Nobody. I follow no man. We talked a couple of weeks ago.

about how our podcast follows like a random assortment of our listeners and so we get a lot of just random there's no explaining the kind of stuff our algorithm feeds us and it's so much from the anti-circumcision community Wow

Is that because I'm Jewish? You're bringing that up? Yeah, yeah, we want to talk about reversing your experience. Well, what would they do take, I guess, out of your gums and then stitch it bag down there. Well, I need to get my gums done still. Be careful. I've been putting it off since before the pandemic.

But make sure they don't take off an extra slice. Yeah. Colt, what is the newest move in wrestling? Wow. This is, you know, I've done so many wrestling podcasts. What a hard-hitting question. What do you like in a move? I'll ask you. Oh, I like it high-flying. I like it to kind of. to be contemplative to make me rethink humanity. Yeah. Can I tell you MJF's move?

The hackiest wrestler. He sits a man down on his butt sitting up and then runs the ropes a bunch of times. And then right before he gets to him, he just like penis thrusts him. And sometimes it knocks them down. Sometimes it doesn't. And he couldn't be more proud of that. And this guy, this is the guy you think might be hacky. He brings a stool into the ring.

He humps the stool. That is a good question, though. Because I'm trying to think, what's my favorite? There's nothing new you can really do with the human body. Yeah, that's true. Does anybody do a somersault? Anybody growing extra arms like Goro? I once...

Answer all these questions. No, but I once played a wrestler who brought a stool into the ring. Oh, yeah. I think... Do you know of that? Yeah, I do know about that. It was called the Wrestling Something Project. And everyone, all these, like, known wrestlers got new characters just for this thing.

Right. I'm going to put out, like, a Netflix thing. And they wanted me to be a comedian, so I was punchline. Nice. And I was just like, oh, okay. So, like, I was like, what does all the comedians do? So I brought a stool and I would, like, wear, I don't know, I wear a hoodie and I'd have a cigarette. Like, I don't know.

That's, yeah. Yeah. Big Jay Okerson, I think. There you were doing it. No. No. No. There's a wrestler and like some independent promotion named Stephen Flo, and he's a grunge.

He's from around me. Is he really? And when I wrestle, because I wrestle for the Insane Clown Posse. Oh, yeah. He's now, he's now in Juggalo Championship wrestling. Really? Still Steven Flo? Still Stephen Flo?

I love it. And his theme music is. Is alive? No, instead of Even Flo, he just rose, Stephen Flo, Stephen Flo, Stephen Flo, Stephen, Stephen. I love this guy. Yeah. Do you know who the champion for J.CW is?

Is it the pizza guy? No, Luigi is also pretty great. So there's a wrestler named Kane. The one from the big leagues? Yes, but the JCW champion is Co-Cain. And he's dressed like Kane. This is like, this is a very silly promotion they've got. Who, Violent Jane checking too?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're sort of like clayfighter. versus as opposed to the street fighter. Last time you were here, I remember afterwards, we were chatting upstairs, and we were talking about the new movie that had just come out,

fighting with my family, and you were talking, this was like 2019. Yeah. And you were talking about how it's really good, and the star of it's great. And I was like, yeah, what, right, whatever. We'll never hear from this person again.

And it turned out that person was Florence Puk. Oh. Do you remember that? Yeah. That movie? I do remember that movie. Yeah, I never saw it. But my parents thought they loved it.

I don't know who Florence Bug is. She's the star of Fighting with my family. Well, I know Soraya, who was based off of. Oh, it was actually, it was based on true story. Yes. Okay. With Soraya Knight and then, who was in AW for a little bit. But it was more about her family who were like gypsies.

And when I lived in England in 2004 for a summer, I would like go and wrestle for them. and they were as gypsy and as cocked me as you can get. It was amazing. It was just like, they were like for the rock is the one who was like, I got to make a movie of these guys. Yeah. And he did. And like I totally understand it.

But like when you're in it and you're like at their house and they're, yeah, they're yelling at each other. And Ricky Knight's like, Julia, get me, get me on dinner. And you're like, these guys are crazy.

Yeah. He just think it's just part of life. But then it's like, oh yeah, that makes sense. They made a movie about them. Yeah. The,

um, there she is Florence Pugh, a Saraya Knight. Yeah. She's from Dude. She's in Doom. She's from, well, I don't know any of these movies. She's in Thunderbolts.

Oh, yeah, Thunderbolts. That was popular. She's in Dude Part 2. She's in Oppenheimer. The guy who is, the guy who is the father was the guy from Sean of the Dead and the other guy, right? And it was directed by Stephen Merchant. That's right. And then the other thing I remember about that day was that.

I gave your kids some children's books. You did. They ever read it? I read it to them. Okay, nice. Because it was a book that you wrote about wrestling, right? Yes. Yeah.

What was it called? Wrestling dreams. Wrestling dreams. Colmurch.com. Yeah? Sure. Sure. Did you bring a shirt for us anything or do I have to go and you have double

XL? How does it fit? Does the Excel feel like an Excel or is it like a kind of like a lar? Do you have to do these customer service calls for Coltmerch.com? I got a guy. The other thing is. It's Stephen Flo. You, like we were upstairs talking about this movie.

And then we were just waiting for your ride to come pick you up. And then the doorbell rang. I opened the door. And the Da Vinci twins. That's right. Oh, yeah, that's right. Before they were the Da Vinci twins. Before they were stars, you saw them.

Yeah. You know, you talk about seeing a band, like at a small place before they were big? He saw the Divinkey twins up close and personal. Then I saw the Divinkey twins up close and personal. Then I saw them a few times around town just like, I think, doing their day jobs. Which is... Twin, twins. Yeah, they...

My work. Yeah, one of them works, and then the other one pretends that they're that were. And they share a job, basically. They always do a thing where they walk behind each other and do the same step at the same time. Love it. It's pretty fun. Wrestling has now been infiltrated by all these people, which is pretty great. Number one, AEW literally signed them to a contract.

AJ and Big Justice. Oh, wow. They come to the shows and wrestle now. The dad does. Wow. And the little kid gets in and the Rizzler is a part of it also. Yeah, we love them. Dave's a big fan.

They know, yeah. There's so many times that I've wanted to get them to like do something for you guys. Hey, Rizler, call in. If you're out there, Rizzler. Rizler's kind of a harder. Yeah, he would be a get. Boy, maybe we get Big Justice. If we, like, got him a nice big Pokemon pack, he'd,

do something, but they won't be here tomorrow, will they? They will, they were at the last pay-per-view in L.A. Shit. Yeah, sorry. That's okay. You know, you can't win them all. Who, so they,

what's the feel about Logan Paul? Do people hate that he's a wrestler? Do they, is he, I don't even know, is he a good guy or bad guy? What does he do? I think he's, well, just in general, I think he's a bad guy. Yeah, no, generally, he's a bad guy.

But is he like bad guy? I think he's, I don't, those are the other guys. We don't really care about them. Oh, God. Oh, sure. But I think he's pretty athletic, and I think he takes it serious enough. Yeah.

Because he's, like, on there full time. And it makes sense that, that, like, he had such a crazy following that you, and he's, I think he's, I think he would want to, like, put him on the team, I think. Yeah. But don't people, isn't the whole thing with those brothers that people hate them and that they get, everybody loves to hate them and they just keep getting bigger and bigger and bigger? Well, which is wrestling, right? Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. Yeah. Are they ever going to, uh, never mind. It's probably the same thought, and I also stopped myself from making the joke. About their touring schedule, maybe. Have you ever seen the Canadian production of Dark Side of the Ring? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, my friend is one of the producers. Really? Yeah. You're connected to everybody. I know. Sorry, this just sound like a name drop. Oh, I'm friends with Big Justice. Oh, I'm friends with the Rodney.

The Diviniquee. I get as many double-chukes as I want. Oh, they would love it because this is the arena. That if you stay there, you get a free shot. No, it's the arena in North America that is closest to Costco. Oh. They did a thing of all the professional sports teams and who was closest to the nearest Costco and the Vancouver Canucks are across the street. Maybe we'll go to Costco after watching the matches tomorrow.

I'm going. Dave's going. Yeah, it's a big thing among the Canucks fans that you don't spend $20. dollars on a hot dog at the arena spend a dollar 50 across the street. Can you bring it in? You can bring it into your tummy. Yeah. Well,

I don't know if you know, at Wrigley Field in Chicago, they encourage you bringing in food from that rules. Yeah. Why is that? I think they're just like, because it's in the middle of a neighborhood. And I think they're just like,

we're a neighborhood team. Yeah, we charge $1,000 for a ticket. That's where they make their money on the tickets. Gotcha, got to get it. But bring in a Costco hot dog. That is like, because I feel like that is how,

it is in movie theaters. It's like no one's really checking your tote bag. No, that's true. Do you still get scared every time you go with it in your bag, though? No. I do every time. You know what I get worried about is when I buy something at one store and then I go into another store that would also sell that thing, but I don't have a receipt for the thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like very nervous the whole time. But with movies, I'm not sneaking in popcorn and I really want popcorn. Yeah. And then also, like, like, really. Grocery stores aren't cheap anymore. No, exactly, yeah. Like the M&Ms at the movie theater might be the same price. Yeah.

A lot of M&Ms have gone through the roof. It's insane. I'll tell you this one in shame. Don't tell anybody, please. I don't feel good about it. That's fine. This is, yeah, this is between us. We'll turn off the microphone.

We'll believe the whole thing. We'll believe the next 30 seconds. So I do bring the large cup from the movie theater. Oh, sorry, we didn't quite bleep it yet. Okay, but okay, go on. And then I bring it home. and I wash it and then I bring in my backpack every time. Oh, wow.

Like a paper cup. It's thick and strong enough that it holds up. And it's just because now they have like the one where you can choose whatever kind of drink you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. You have to be a hacker to do it. Yes. And I've hacked the system.

Yeah. But I think you could do it with anything because the employees there are all 14. Correct. Yeah. There was a point where I was like hiding it to the side as I like scooched over to it. And then I think in the last couple of the. years I've realized. No one cares.

That's how long I've been doing. I took my kids to Hoppers, Pixar's Hoppers, which is about a bunch of Dennis Hopper. Yeah, I was going to say, is it Dennis Hobber, a trivia film. And they, there's like a kids pack you get

which comes with popcorn, Jolly Ranchers, and a little drink. And the drink has gotten smaller since we started doing it. Drinkflation. Yeah, that's right. And we, and I was like, you're not allowed to do this, but I'm going to go back and refill your

your drinks halfway through the movie. I think, wasn't that the thing you buy a drink and then you get... It has to be the large. To get the free refill? Yeah. Ah. Which, that's way too many. I got to get myself a large cup and just bring it.

Oh, my friend, I want to say Colt does the same thing. Yeah. Really? Yeah. He's genius. You might want to pick that up. You dropped it. Oh, yeah.

Oh, no. It's getting plowed over by Big Justice. Plowed over. But, and I was very nervous doing that. I was like, okay, just go back to the drink fountain and refill it. And then, you know, you can always say like, the fountain, the Dr. Pepper tasted weird. Yeah. And they'll be like, why are you saying?

I don't care. Why even talking to me? But when you go to a hockey game, there's like thousands of employees in the arena to stop you from bringing food in. Yeah. There's like one guy at the movie theater. And, you know, like the movies, they're dying in the theaters. Everybody knows it.

It's got, support your local. here? Buy the food there. Buy their food. Don't bring it. Stop sneaking around. Oh no. As Graham stares at me.

Graham's kind of, he keeps failing the cop exam. Yeah, but I'm going to get there one day. It's because there's a trick question at the very end. And it says, you know, the whole test is you're just supposed

to write your name at the top. But if you don't read all the questions, you don't know until the very end. Well, also, when you join the police academy, there was this very noisy guy. I know the whole, exam. What is his, like, what is his signature sound effect?

Is it kind of the machine gun? I think the machine gun. Yeah. I thought it was, don't worry, be happy. Don't worry, yeah, that's right. Same guy. He did. He did something with him, did he not?

Bobby McFaron and Michael Winslow? I felt, oh, no, that was he did the guitar for. He does a Jimmy Hendrix. Yeah. Oh, there it is. Yeah. And he's, he's great. I did a show with him.

Yeah. in Halifax. Jimmy, Hendr? Yeah. Yeah. And he was down here on Earth. It was an exchange program.

He's like, oh, boy, I'm jamming in Halifax with Dave tonight. And meanwhile, I don't know. Someone's up. No Jimmy. No Jimmy.

Someone's up in heaven played with Buddy Holly. I, okay. If you were going to do your heaven supergroup. You're Mount Rushmore of heaven. But like if you were there and there's like the band that you would want to play with in heaven, four member max. Do we have to do these people have to be like,

they have to be dead? They have to be so virtuous that we think they went to heaven. They got in on a technicality because Jimmy put in a word for it. Oh, okay. But Jimmy got in on his. Yeah, he was fine. What about dead to me? Oh, who's dead to you?

Oh. The, uh, okay. So lead singer, you want it to be, uh, Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim, okay. Tiny Tim, on vocals. Tiny Tim. Uh, lead guitar.

Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim. Bass guitar or stand-up bass. You could do either. Oh, boy. Guy from the bare naked lady is still alive on stand-up base. Oh, yeah, he's still alive. But maybe, maybe his great grandfather.

Yeah, sure. And then finally. drummer. Who's it going to be? The one-armed guy from... To Dev Leopard? Oh, is he gone? And his other arms in heaven, though.

There you go. Oh, so it's just his arm. Yeah, sort of a Adam's family. And this band, what are we going to call it, you guys? The Grateful... The Grateful... Yeah. Did you have any...

You're just prompting us. I was just prompting. You didn't have any ideas? No, I mean, obviously. I think if you want to do a frontman, you want somebody who's really loud and crazy. But both Axel Rose and Bon Scott are still here on Earth. Bon Scott is dead. No, yeah, than him.

He's the lead singer, Bon Scott. Who's the guy that's still with us that screams and says like a... Brian Johnson? Brian Johnson? I saw Guns and Roses at Wrigley Field last summer. I saw them a few years ago, and I thought they were a lot of fun. Yeah, I thought... To me, I was just like, they are working so hard at that age to, like, try to put on a good show for everyone.

Yeah. So I was impressed. Flash is working hard trying to put on a big hat for everyone. And he did it. How many of those hats do you think that he has? Or is it just, is he rolling the bones every time he goes and just got the one hat, his rider-dye hat? Do they ever sell those hats at the merch stand? That's a very good question.

Oh, yeah. They're leaving a lot of hair on the table. Big foam ones. That would be so cool. Getting a big foam top out of a concert It would suck for the person sitting behind you Wow, that's true, but... I'm just applying like wrestling merch logic to everything else

But I believe Fluffy has already done that so Oh, man, I'll tell you If there's anybody who's in wrestling now No, he loves wrestling And apparently his merch stand is like The craziest. Like it's all inspired by wrestling Oh really?

Yeah, yeah Like shirts and dolls and this And then inflatable blowups because he realized how much money was in wrestling work. I wouldn't want to wear a big top hat. I would if it's at Fluffy on it. At a show because I'd be like, oh, what if John Wilkes' booth shows up?

Yeah. But he'd have to go, he'd have to take out a lot of people if everybody's wearing foam top hats. I know, but he's easily confused. And he's probably there for Slash, really. He's the... He just to kill Slash?

He just hates Top Hats. He's killed a couple of magicians. Who else is where is it? Charlie McCarthy, the ventriloquist doll. Those are all for right now, but I'll get back to you. What is,

what's the, like, best, uh, bit of merch, like the moves besides t-shirts. What is like, is it dolls?

Is it, uh, a cup? Is it, yeah, figures are really, figures have changed where like, it's definitely like,

hey, we sell these to adults now. Yeah. Like, these are not for children. This $60 figure. Yeah. Is for adults.

Um, Anything for adults that's like for adults? Yeah, a fluffy vibrator like that. Any kind of, are there a wrestler devices? When I was so broke in my early 20s and wrestling, like someone was like you got to use the merchandise table as like a flea market. I was like, all right, because I need money desperately. So there was a time where I would bootleg the China porn and sell it at the shows.

China the wrestler did porn? Yeah, she did a porn. And I would also make sure that the person was over 21. Yeah, that's probably good. Probably a good idea. Because, you know, I didn't want to get in trouble. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I changed my mind.

China's the lead singer of the band. Yeah, rest in peace. Yeah. I also bootlegged the macho man, Randy Savage, CD. I thought you were going to say sex tape. But I was like, what? I'm in Sherry. I'm in Elizabeth.

Any more for us? Yeah. If you got $2 on you, I can. The whole time he's having sex, oh, yeah. You've got to think. Yeah. And his neighbors are like, is he having sex or just like a nice bowl of cereal? He says this about everything.

I can't tell if he slapped into a slim gym or just had his slim gym slapped into. He slipped his lap. Flapped his slump. What is, because you were always a big merchandise guy. And cold merchant. Thank you. If you need a children's book. What kind of stuff?

You had children's book? You had shirts? Yeah, it's not as prominent anymore just because I'm not wrestling as much. Sure. But back in the day, God, yeah, I would do everything. All different kind of figures. I made two, I made three wrestling movies, documentaries. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. The Wrestling Road Diaries series. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, T-shirts, DVDs, pins, pictures, posters. Everything. buttons.

Yeah. That's awesome. I mean, we've made upwards of five pieces of merch. Sure. I couldn't name them all. Well, a couple of pins.

A couple of t-shirts. And I think there was a key chain this year. There's a key chain in it, yeah. But it's, there was a time like I feel in the early 2000s, 2000, like there's a time where it stopped. Like,

T-shirts aren't as hot and wrestling anymore. Really? Yeah. But there's a time where like they would fly. People love going to a show and getting a T-shirt. Well, Why no t-shirt? Well, so I helped start this company called Pro Wrestling T's.

Yeah. I think we did bastard. Bastardize it? Bastardize it? I remember you had a billboard. Yes, still up there. Oh, cool. Is it really?

Yes. Is it a recent picture? Is it the same picture from? Same picture. Yeah, I look cool. I'm like in my 30s, just enjoying life. Yeah, hell yeah. I've seen, have you seen him wrestle?

Do you ever go to a... I mean, I've seen. sort of the idea. Yeah, yeah, him wrestling with tough decisions his life, that kind of thing. If you've never seen Cole Russell, he's so good. But I feel like we cut him off. He was going somewhere with the merch. No, no, please keep telling how great I am.

But I saw you a lot in Scotland. You were doing, like, wrestling, weird wrestling shows in Edinburgh, like every night or every other night. And you were great. Those crowds were insane. Yeah, like that scenes not as hot. hot, like the smaller scene. But it's kind of funny. Maybe I just know if like...

The Scottish French Festival wrestling scene isn't as hot these days? Yeah, that's what I said by watch, dude. Just like the underground scene I feel is not as hot. But maybe like I know of, I feel like boom, which I haven't, you know, I just... Yeah, yeah. I follow them on Instagram and stuff. I feel like keeps that spirit alive of the weirdness of underground. Ground wrestling.

Like it's a fun. Yeah, yeah. But you wrestled here in a local promotion years and years ago. At the Commodore and then other places. Yeah, a bunch. And I remember I was watching it with Sally and like we watched, I think you were the last match of the evening. And Sally was just like, oh, that's what a real wrestler does.

Like these other guys were fine, but this is a guy who knows how to wrestle like really well. So it was a fun little thing. So you still, you'll still hop in the ring, right? I'll hop in there every now. No wrestler retires. Yeah, no kidding. I do. I feel like my career is kind of like when a stand-up like becomes a writer, like on a show or something.

That would have been nice. Oh boy, yeah. Regular paycheck. Yeah, which is what I'm getting. That's nice. But you'll get the itch when you're 50s. And I'll still go up and, yeah. Listen, I'm writing every week.

But, you know, someone wants me to go on their showcase. I'll do a tight aid A couple slams And you know Who's the big wrestler The three letters? MJF, yeah

If MJF Hosts the Oscars He'll bring you on board With some moves Oh what are the Slammies The Slamys? Yeah sure Did that only exist in the 80s

Or is it something that still goes on to the day? They still kind of I think Mess around with it But really? Boy was it fun in the 80s Yeah I mean well Yeah I was a kid

What was it? It was like a wrestling awards show But would people behave themselves? Well, it was most... The crowd, if I recall, was all wrestlers. I don't feel like there was... Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah, I mean, ravishing Rick Rood, he won one,

and he took off his tucks and did a sexy dance for everybody. But no one's, like, coming up, you know, in the middle of a speech and hitting someone with a chair. Not that I've seen, I think, because they really want to win. All these, you know... Yeah, and they seem like they'd be really good sports if they lost.

But like, is the... Most distractible ref. And then, like, during the tribute to all the dead wrestlers, someone, you know... Ravishing a crew dances in front of it. Or it takes, like, a baseball bat covered in barbed wire. Yes. And they'll all be in heaven playing with Jim Andrews. Yeah, who's your...

That I could tell you. Your heaven royal rumble. Yeah. Oh, that's good. Okay. Yeah. A minor match, kind of middle of the road match, headlining match, heaven, all have to be dead. Go for it.

Hulk Hogan. Okay. Yeah, Hulk Hogan, he's in the opening match? Yes, that's what it deserves to be. Halkogan versus the junkyard dog. Beautiful, beautiful. So that's your opening. Yeah, gorgeous George.

Okay. Versus Leapin Lanny Pafo. Nice. He was the guy, the professor, right? Well. He was Randy Matured, Manned Tavage's brother. He could S his own D. That's what he's known for.

He's really, right? In our circles. Yeah, but he's really good at leaping. Did he throw frispsies out right? With poems written on it or something you read poems? No, it was the secret of how to do that. Yeah. Is it diagram?

Oh, what are we looking at here? I've been thinking about this all wrong. Yeah, of course, it's so simple. It's like the book that they get in American Pie. of all the sex secrets at the library Yeah Yeah I think

You could That could be a secondary gig You can pick a little money up on the road If you're using people to do it Or you know Letting people let you do it Oh I mean

Cash transactions Mostly I feel out of time wrestling Was so carnie And probably still is that like I wouldn't put it past him Yeah sure Yeah

And then so what's the headlining match This has been quite the show so far Sure Abraham Lincoln Okay Oh yeah This is John Wilkes Booth Settling this

score. Yeah, of course. There's a wrestler in the boom promotion that is Abraham Lincoln. I've seen or heard, yeah. Well, Abraham Lincoln himself was a wrestler. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh.

That's why I said that. I know my history. Yeah. Good for you. He's not. Wrestling history. Yeah, he was kind of. Anyone who doesn't learn their wrestling history is doomed to repeat it.

Yeah, I went to a physiotherapist last week, and he was like a college wrestler. and he, like, with the smallest, he's a small guy, but he could really, like, wrench on you. Like, he was, he was still built all wiry and he would wrestle the guys that were really big because then they would work on their technique instead of using their, their weight and stuff like that. Anyways. Chiropractor or physio? Physio. Do you ever do a chiropractor? Too scared.

I love a chiropractor. Yeah? Yes. I'm afraid that they're going to be the one in a million that they snack. And it has happened. Yeah. Yeah. Snap my neck and my head comes clean off of my body.

And they'll be like, oh, this is probably because he was vaccinated. Oh, I do have some information. Okay. Here we go. This is a guy right here. Sorry, I took this way off topic. There's no topic. Who's been cutting his own hair for, I would say, 40 years.

Oh, wow. Okay. No, not 40 years. I'm 45. 30 years. Cold stuff. Give you yourself. I'm a 30-year haircut.

Hair vet. How many, um, uh, so you, you use the, just the clippers or do you cissor it as well? Everything. And it's been, there's, it's, I've, you know, like, I've self-taught and learned over the years. Now I finally have this thing where you hook it above the door and it's like three mirrors that pop out.

Oh, cool. Which is like, I haven't been using. that for like 25 years. So before that it was, I was always like, hoped I lived in an apartment that had the mirrors that came out. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, in front of the sink. And then there was one point where, like, I would go in a corner and I would, like,

go on Amazon and find, like, sticky mirrors. Yeah. Because you need, like, each side of it. So I take, yeah, I take the clipper and then, like, I do it. And, like, I know the whole fading technique and everything. And then I'll kind of clip it at the end. Because you have a high and tight. High and tight, always, yeah.

I'm, uh, I'm two haircuts. in. It's been going pretty well. I've only done two. Yeah. I thought you did during the... Pandemic? Yeah. No.

My wife did my hair once or twice during the pandemic. Okay. But then I actually, like, and I only had like a beard trimmer back then. I actually got the full set of clippers. Well, for next year's Max Fun bonus footage, I could tee. I could do a tutorial for you. Oh, that's good idea. And then Frisbee and out to all the Max Fun fans.

Look on the other side for some other instruction. Sleep and Lenny. He was originally going to call his little suck in Simon, but everybody's like, no, no, no. Keep that on the back corner. Why is he less famous than Randy Seven? If he could do that, like the more talented brother, that would be his finishing move, of course.

Off the top rope, what's he doing? Like Noel Gallagher's sucking his own dick. Liam's the famous one. I think that's where Randy got the Uyah from, too. Oh. Oh. Oh, something about that sound really sweet. Hey, Lanny, you know that new sound you're looking for?

I guess, hey, Randy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, like, it's, you've been doing a good job with the, with the kind. Thanks, Abby does the, like, tidies it up. Okay. Because I don't have the mirror set up. Get the mirrors. Because what are you wearing a hat?

Let's see. Perfect. Oh, very good. Yeah, that looks great. Yeah, high and tight. Can you do a fade? Yeah. Yeah.

You'll do like a two guard, two guard, raised, two guard lowered, one guard raise, one guard lower. Wow. Like, keep on going. How long does it take to do this? I've got it down to 10 minutes. Ten minutes? Yeah. And how often are you doing it?

Because you can. About every 10 days, every two weeks. All right. Okay. Because the real reason I'm doing it is because I love the woman who cuts my hair, but she's just so busy. When I want my haircut, I want it today. Yeah. Oh yeah, that's why I do it too

It's like the same with my fingernails I'm like They're fine, they're fine, they're fine, they're fine, then one day Everything's got to go Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's crazy how your nails just appear one day to be claws And then you're, then I'll have them for a day I'll do a lot of like, you know, tapping on things and I don't, I'm scratching, huh?

Oh man, oh man, I go all over Yeah, yeah, um, uh, yeah, okay I'm probably the only one here, I guess that doesn't cut his own hair But Sally's cut it a couple times. It's a fun little thing to do. You went many years without anyone cutting it. Yeah. I didn't have my haircut for many years.

And then I snapped out of it. You know, I was like, let's get a haircut because I was getting married in Vegas. I needed to clean it up a bit. It's still below your shoulders. Yeah, I know. This needs to cold after the show. If you could just give me a quick. Yeah.

I'll give you a neck crack and a haircut. It's not a problem. So scary. A neck crack is a butt crack that goes all the way up to your neck. Do you hear his butt goes all the way up to his neck? Wow, like leap and Lenny Poffa? No, no, no, no quite. Dave, what's going on with you, man?

Not a heck of a lot. I said this episode's coming out on May of the 4th, and happy Star Wars Day to all my little grogous. But the truth is, it's... Can you be honest with me? Yeah, be honest. Well, after consulting with my family and my priest... I've decided to be honest about this issue.

Okay. I try to release these episodes on the Monday. It usually comes out like 11 o'clock on Monday Pacific time. This is a Tuesday show. It's really a Tuesday show. But one thing in the last few years, like, you know, I put the kids to bed on Monday night. And that's over at like 9.30, 9.40. Then I go downstairs and I finish editing the episode.

I finished like double checking on all the mixing and whatever. And at 940, I turn on Antiques Road Show. Yeah. And it's, do you know this show? Yeah, it's a ton of fun. It's on PBS. Jesse Thorne's listening right now. He's got, he's rock hard listening to us.

And he wants like a fancy pig with wheels or something like that. He wants all the pigs with wheels. Do you, I mean, I love it because I, I assume everyone, maybe he loves it because he likes seeing the stuff that's really valuable, but I love the idea of going to a thrift store and getting something for a dollar and something for a hundred thousand. Oh yeah, totally. Yeah. There's that.

There's the stories they have behind the things. Like, you know, a lot of people bought things when they were in the Army in other countries for five cents and not worth $50,000. Yeah. But the, and the best one, the most valuable one, is always the last one of the episode, which comes on at 9.51, usually. Yeah. You'll get the reveal.

And then after that, they have all the people come up and say, like, all the people who are rejected will, like, do a little testimonial to camera. Be like, oh, everyone in the salt shaker, it turns out it's worth nothing. I'm going to still keep it, though.

I'm not going to throw it in the garbage. I had some dorky lady, and her dorky husband is like, and howdy-do you do? I guess he had a how-do-do lunch fuck. I feel like whoever was the executive producer of Pond Stars was like, what about this, but for stupid people? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like people that can't sit still and watch an appraiser do his work.

But now, I don't just catch the last 10 minutes of the show because there's now, on my cable package, a channel 195 is 24 hours of Antiques Roadshow. Wow. And they're more on like Tooby and all these things. going to be out of this phase in three months. I know this. But they've all got like, there's like a Hot Ones channel. There's a Baywatch channel. Oh, I thought it was like the hot people who are selling on Antiques Road show.

Hot One's the chicken show. But, so I've been watching, I'll just have this Antiques Road show thing on like for hours at a time while I'm doing stuff in the background. And the other day I was watching and a woman came on with a painting and she was she was saying yeah so I got this from John Cougar Mellon camp Oh wow okay well it's already

priceless And she said yeah I was doing some work for him And he offered it for me And he painted it himself And wow I immediately looked up John Cougar Mellon Camps

Or John Mellencamp's art Yeah And do you know what What do I want to try to ask you. He paints, I would guess, like judging just from what's available or just what you can see online, one painting a day.

Really? He's very prolific. Wow. And is it of things that abstract? It's mostly portraits, and guess what portrait he does the most? Himself. Himself. I was going to say, John Bon Jovi? No, it's himself. And John Mellencamp is sort of like,

imagine a better Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, kind of like a pawnstars version of Bruce Springsteen. And so I'm just going to open up his website and... Is he selling these? I don't know where you can get, though. He only gives them way to people... You can order a lithograph at melanchamp.com store.

Okay. But I feel like that is a... If you have Melanchampmerch.com. So that's him. Oh, yeah, that's pretty good. How much is it? Does it say how much? Oh, this one's sold.

What about the... So he is selling them. Yeah. But it doesn't say how much. Ah, that's it. You can just inquire about this painting. Hmm. Hey, we want the weird John Melanchamp painting.

Is this what he does full time now? I don't know, but that's him. I'd say one out of every... He also has like a character, he seems. This guy, this person, must have him as a child. Sad sunken eyed guy. Yeah, orphan train is one of the names of the painting. Oh, no, that's Ozzy.

He's saying that. No, that's right. I'm eating lots of gruel on the orange. That's him. Yeah. No smoking. That's him. That's John Mellencamp right there.

A lot of them have the word Mellencamp on it. That's him. Yeah. That's him. He's good, though. These are like... But she was like, this John Mellencamp painting, which is probably only worth $2. Yeah.

What are the praise for? I don't remember. Of course it's going to be worth something. Of course it's worth something. It's John Frickin' Mellencamp. It's the Coog. But like... He has so many paintings.

Yeah. It's very kind of folk art. He's got one called Melvis 2, which is him as Elvis. And I guess this is the sequel to the original. It's not the first time he drew that. I would feel weird hanging this up in my house being like, oh, okay, tell me about this painting. Well, it's John Gugger, Melanchamp. It's a Melanchamp.

It's a Melanchamp by Melanchamp. He's sort of like Rembrandt? Yeah. And that he paints himself out? That's him. Who painted the Melvis 2? Da Vinci. Da Vinci.

That's him in 1979, painted in 2021. Okay. There's a lot of these. Yeah. Oh, and we're just this far onto the page. Oh, so like hundreds of these. Yeah. Wow.

That's why I said, I think he does one a day. But maybe it's not worth anything because he's like, is it turning out too many? He's flooded the market. Yeah. I don't know. The ones that are like valuable, they still like painted every day. Did they not? I guess.

Your Devinckis, your van goes. Yeah, that's true. But they had to survive hundreds of years. Yeah. This guy. This survived hundreds of songs. There's no paintings of anyone suck it on chili dog. Or sucking on his chili dog.

Leapin Leni Papa. But I watched an episode of the Antiques Road Show. Whenever I'm in a hotel, I watch it. Because it's always on PBS or like maybe late in the day, CBC, maybe. PBS, my own D? Yeah. But there was one.

There was like a music box that was like an exquisite example of this particular, like, 200-year-old maker. And it was so much money. They were like, you should be able to get like 15, between 15 and $25,000 for this. And he's like, I'm just going to keep it my family. It was like, you fool, you fool, don't walk away from the money. Oh, that reminds. One of the wrestlers recently, you know what not is? No.

Is this like a setup of like, what's up dog? Yeah, does he suffer from legma? Your what-nots under there. It's like a live auction show. It's kind of like QVC meets eBay. That sounds great. That's made in heaven. One of the big things now is ripping baseball card packs.

And then like, so I'll have a pack and you choose spot one, spot two, spot three, and you sell the spots. Okay. And this guy. So like spot one is like... The first card, the first card taken out. Okay. Second card taken out. You get this card.

Can I have the gum? Yes. And my friend, name drop, just a wrestler named Eric Cannon, and he spent $216 on this one spot. And he pulled, uh,

um, who's the guy in the Dodgers? He was on the Angels before the Japanese guy. Otani? Yeah. Yeah. He pulled an Otani card that is worth $1.5 million. What?

Wow. Really. They're still making cards that are expensive? Yes. It's like him, it's like his, rookie jersey signed. It's like a one of one and the guy

was going crazy on it, but it was just like I was like, why are you spending $200 on a random fool? Yeah, you fool. Did he sell it? I go, what are you doing? He goes, I'm selling it right? I'm just going to keep it in the family. I was like, maybe I would like, because if you sit down it for 10 years,

it's guaranteed to. Not necessarily. The bottom falls out of these markets all the time. That's why I'm surprised that anything has any value. Yeah. Unless it's the Honus Wagner. Also, or a melon camp, if you will.

Yeah, like a melon camp rookie card. Don't Pokemon cards. They go for a lot of money. Maybe not a million dollars. Yeah, let me text my friend.

And see if he's a millionaire. Big Justice. He is a big Pokemon kid. We love Big Justice here. Yeah, yeah. The comments are so mean

to these two. Costco guys. They are so sweet. Yeah. They're such nice human beings. Like, the thing is they've got, they started,

They didn't mean to be famous. They didn't mean to be famous. They got great music. But like, their song, they bring the boom. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. But like, which is, by the way, sorry to cut you out. When you're an arena of 10,000 people, and that music hits and the crowd's like, oh!

It's so fun. That's nice. Yeah. But like, yeah, they're like, I follow them. But the comments people leave are so mean.

Like, oh, we've seen this before. How many, how many times? this kid could have cried when he opens a Pokemon card. He cries with joy because he gets a great Pokemon card. He gets a great card.

Yeah, a Charzard rookie jersey. Signed by Charzard. We missed, uh, did you collect cards as a child? Baseball cards. Yeah. Sports cards, yeah. Yeah, I was hockey. But then, and then like, I remember when I was like 11 or 12.

That's when those big, um, Like the Honus Wagner card from a hundred years ago went for a million dollars. I think, I feel like the guy who owned the Toronto Argonauts bought it. Bruce McNaul who co-own the Argonauts with John Candy and Wayne Gretzby. Right. But like, and then I stopped paying attention. And then every other card since has been a Pokemon or a Yu-Gi-O.

I think Logan Paul was wearing a very experienced. He just sold it for $26 million, I think. No. Yeah. The one that he was wearing on like, was it a Pokemon? It was a Pokemon, right? Yeah.

Yeah. What was Kevin O'Leary wearing to the Oscars? Did you see that? I think it was United Shoes. Yeah, he won these United Shoes. He had, I mean, he is like a pinnacle of taste. Oscar's outfit. Yeah.

A $30 million dollar triple logo man on a Tiffity and Co. chain. Yeah, and looking at him with a chain, he looks like he's like from the Chamber of Commerce. Like, it doesn't look, like, it doesn't look cool when he wears it, but. No, I disagree. Yeah, you think he looks pretty, pretty flash? He's among the worst ever. Honestly, when you just flipped to that picture, I thought it was mini me.

It's just a tall cameraman. There's a piece of me who, like, because I was in the era of Michael Jordan and the Chicago, like in Chicago. Yeah. Like, I feel every single person I went to school with probably has, because I think his rookie card's like $10 million if you get a grade in whatever. And we all had it in our shoebox. Yeah. Yeah.

Especially the Chicago kids. I had two complete set of elf cards. I just want to throw that in. They're not worth anything. Shark Tank star Kevin O'Leary's Oscar Red Carpet looks stuns Jafar. Banahi. What a headline. Yeah.

Anyway, we are the card, guys. We're taking your calls. Yeah. If anyone needs some cards of praise, just remember those golden rules. No Pokemon. All right, caller, you're on the air. Uh-huh. I front of a card that is a Charzarn.

That's the program. You're trying to get us. Uh, so anyway, check out the art of John Mellon camp. If it's affordable, you know what? I'm going to inquire. Okay. Yeah, send a message. Not right now, but yeah, send that.

That seems like that'll be something cool to know. Firing minds want to know. Because if it's not that expensive, I'm going to buy one and put it up in my place. Yeah, I don't want the lithograph. I want an... Oh, no, I want the painting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I want it to be of him.

Yes. I only want a self-portrait. I want that one, Elvis, too, as well as it. What if it's somebody else? Oh, sold? Yeah. Fuck me. What if it's somebody else who painted it?

No, him dressed, not... So we know him as Elvis. Oh, sure. What if he's the girl with a pearl earring? Right. The girl's suck on on chili dog Yeah God, that's all that guy wants to do

Morning noon and night He wakes up Chili dog Lunch Chili dog How do you stay so thin Well, I just suck on it Yeah

For the look, I don't like it Um What's going on with you? I was watching I was looking around for something Like when it's late at night I need something kind of just trashy.

TV or food? Both. Or women. You're watching all three. And so the other night I happened upon the Charlie Sheen Charles. Yes, Charles Luzard signed.

And he it's a two-party but I didn't know that when I started watching it. And the first half, that guy had like a fucking huge career. Like he's in so many movies

and like just like was the guy for so many like years and years. And then he I was like, huh, end of documentary. Then it was part two where he goes off the rails, super insane. And I forgot, like I didn't forget it ever happened, but I forgot. Stand up to her? Yeah. I went to it. Yeah.

And was it Russell Peters. It was like a podcast. Yeah. It was cool. They, they, they, showed tons of footage of him being booed while he was doing because he was he didn't have a show he didn't he was just kind of did you see it i i didn't but i remember yeah as it was happening and i and i assumed whatever happened was what was going to happen yeah yeah that it was going to be nothing and

he was just riding on the momentum of whatever he had he and like at that point he needed money but he was like like a superhuman he could do so many drugs and still that's what he had tiger blood he had tiger blood. And then he went to the doctor and they said, you got to step drinking tigers, man. All your blood is tiger. Well, doesn't he have AIDS blood now? He does have AIDS blood. HIV blood. Okay. And he, but he was, he was a huge, huge asshole. Like, no. Because I, when I think of Charlie Sheen, all I think about is hot shots and hot shots part do. That's like, to me, they have like one clip of it in the whole documentary. And they show his, the clip. over and over from him with platoon. But Major League? Yeah.

That was my favorite. Yeah. What was his name? Vaughn, Ricky Vaughn? Wild thing. Wild thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I once, when I wrestled in Cleveland once, I cut my hair in the back like him.

The, like, lightning. The zigzag. Yeah. Did they notice? Hell yeah. I was the, I was like the number one wrestler in Cleveland for that day. Because I'm the, I've done shows at other places and done special things for them and they don't care.

Oh. Winnipeg, I wore all white. And you had a towel, too. What they wear when they have hockey playoffs. Yeah. A sea of white. Yeah. Which is, that's what I like to see.

Yeah. Yeah. In the city known as Canada's Most Racist. Well, that's true. It was done Canada's Most Racist city by McLean's magazine. Is that right? Yeah. I, apparently, I disagree.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're actually doing a tour of Canada's most racist cities. We're trying to crown it. And yeah, exactly. You may find out when we go to your town. Yeah, it turns out. Vote for your, uh, we're supposed to do. Yeah.

It's craft racistville, 2026. Um, but, uh, yeah, just watching this documentary and like, I, I feel like, uh, my grandparents would watch a documentary about the war because they like lived through the war. That's what I felt like. I was like, this is, this is so not a piece. feeling Sally was not interested at all because it wasn't part of her growing up or whatever. And I was like, this is what? Stuff from the 80s and 90s, this is what I'm going to be war.

Yeah, this is our war. She doesn't remember him going crazy, though? Graham's got a really young boy. I'm kind of the Leonardo DiCaprio of the podcast. Until we get Leo on. But you know, like, yeah, when you're growing up, there was like movie stars you'd never heard of that your parents knew. And, like, they were like, this was a big deal. This was on TV.

And then early Dallas. Dallas, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Shot JR, right? But, like, they would, would you watch a documentary about Dallas? No, not interesting. Exactly.

But they would probably. But it is, like, you're, you should be watching documentaries about things you don't know about. That's true. Yeah. Because the thing with the Charlie Sheen one is like, why would I want to watch that? I'd live through it. Yeah. It's funny.

What the fuck were you doing, Graham? Huh? The fuck were you doing? And did you love it? I asked my own D. I needed something on in the back. When you found out it was a two-part or did you watch it that night? No, I did another, but I really was kind of caught off guard.

I was like, I was like, oh, that's right. He didn't, it wasn't just about his movie years. It was about him going insane. And I watched that three-part, um, America's next top model one. I watched the first part. Yeah, I, that was not, it was both like three parts. Yeah, it was both both. Not for me.

Not enough. Yeah. They didn't cover enough of the show, but also it was too much. Yeah. And then I watched that four-part, um, uh, Billy Joel one. Oh, yeah. And that was good because I don't know anything about him. And also great music.

And here's some really great music in that documentary. And some great drunk driving stories. Some of the best. And, you know, Charlie, he's got a few of those himself, you know. But he just, like from luck to. luck that guy. He just, he was good, but how was his relationship with Emilio? Yeah. He didn't appear in the documentary.

Did they talk about it? They, uh, he said that they were just didn't want to be a part of it. You know, they knew the story. Martin wouldn't be on it either. What about Martin Lawrence? Martin Lawrence was on it. He talked about the time that he, uh, almost got banned from SNL. It really wasn't anything to do with Charlie Sheen, but they just needed a, a palat concert. Yeah. Um, Denise Richards In it?

You in it? Okay. Heidi Fleiss. I forgot about the Heidi Fleiss thing. I don't remember. Heidi Fleiss was the Hollywood Madam. She had a black book of all the Hollywood stars who used her call girls. Oh, and there was the movie Heidi's game.

Yeah. She had a big poker game. Is that right? Yeah. But she. Did you see that? I saw that movie Wow weird

He's so Such a Random assortment But she Hates him And it was Heidi Heidi hates him

Because he Like snitch on her He was the like To get out of going to prison He rolled on her And so she had to go to prison And she just was like Charlie's a little bitch

And I was like I've never seen a documentary Where somebody like genuinely Mad at the topic Still yeah That's good prison life was. I bet it was so easy. Yeah. For her, she was probably running that place in like, you know, two weeks.

She had good people skills. That's how she got to do what she did. And it's also like weird just because a lot of people will film the interviews in their own house. And she has like a hundred parrots. Like she's got all sorts of parrots. Like these are my call girls now. Well, I never saw I Tanya. Oh yeah. The Tanya Harding movie.

But I did see the documentary about her with her mother. Yeah, it was a weird lady who had like a bird on her shoulder all the time. And then there was, in that documentary, they were like, they'd make her walk up a mountain with a giant bag of dog food to train. Surely there was something else you could have a big bag of dog food. Oh, I would be so worried about it breaking. Paul Hauser, big, he wrestles for us sometimes. Paul Walter Hauser? Yes.

I was in It Tonya. That's your tie-out. He's, uh, he played the guy who smashed the knee. I think so. That Galooly? Galulay's buddy? Galulis buddy. Dennis?

Dennis. No. Paul Aser Hauser, you know, is Richard Jewel. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. You wrestle sometimes? You wrestle sometimes? Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Under his own name? Or do you have a character? It's got an action figure and everything. Really? Yeah. This world is huge. When are you guys getting in this thing?

I'm not famous enough, but I do have the Richard Jewel action figure. Yeah. Is he to have like a lunchbox or something? What does he have in the movie? The best type is, but. He's a high of his vest. His pornography is being stolen by the government.

It's not stolen. I mean, they can have it, too. They're copying it mostly. They're not taking it away. Well, it was 1996. They didn't have really, they couldn't high-speed copy this guy's. I heard he was selling it a merch thing. Richard Jules' porn.

Is Richard Juel on this porn? No, no, no. This is just something. His collection. He's in my heaven. It was he playing. Security guard. at the concert.

Yeah, he's the security card at the big heaven concert. He's up there. Well, Jimmy's jamming, but he's sort of like keeping the crowd at bay. Anyways, I would recommend watching the Charlie scene documentary if you need something, just a dose of like brainless.

But it was also the whole time he was being interviewed in a diner, I was like, is this really a diner? Because they showed exterior on this. I'm like, this must be a set, right? They couldn't just have him sitting in a diner. Stryzan's basement. Yeah. For shopping ball.

But yeah, anyways, we wish him the best. Yeah, we're praying for you, Charlie. Yeah, go back on tour, you know what I mean? And get some merch. And he's like presenting as normal now, right? Yeah. He's presenting as normal. He's like, I'm just a guy.

That wasn't a thing. I would go see him if he toured a, like, best of his movie. movies and like not the way that like you know chevy chase needs money and we'll show um christmas vacation in different cities right i want five minutes of him doing platoon five minutes of him as uh uh tupper harley no five minutes of i think it probably is only five minutes of him in ferris beeler's day off which he got the role from jennifer gray it was like i think they were maybe dating at the time and he said i needed to look shitty so i stayed up all night drinking And then

It still looks incredible Yeah, exactly It did nothing It did nothing And he told her to get a nose job He did? That was him Not a church

No Her career they say Yeah Yeah Yeah You know It's like you say It's something

Distinct Big set of ears Yep You know I know that that's I was gonna say Ray Charles No that's not right

King Charles Is what Charles has Some big ears We know When have a big set of eyes Who has a big set of eyes? That's why they're covered

Who's got big eyes Marty Feldman The woman What's her name The Queen's Gambit Actress She's got Taylor Joy The meme woman

Who pops them out Oh yeah Yeah yeah yeah Oh god A lady from the Guinness Book of World Records Oh man Well do you guys

Want to move on To some overheards Yeah Okay Thank you to all the Max Fund members Who supported us During Max Fun Drive You're helping us

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The sale is live now, and it ends on Friday, May 15. That's maximum fun.org slash charity sale. And thanks again. Say, what's the trivia show where dreams come true? It's got to be, go fact yourself. Legend in the house. We quiz celebrity contestants about topics they love.

Then bring out surprise experts. To delight and amaze. And then finally tell us why you know and love the lyrics to the song, Knocking Boots by Candyman. Joining us tonight is a rapper and producer. It's Candyman! This is among the greatest moments of my life. This is one of mine, too.

I love it. That's go fact yourself. Twice a month, every month. Here on Maximum Fun. Overheard. Overheard. When you hear things out there in the world, we'd love to hear what you hear.

And if you want to send one into us, you can send it into SBY at Maximum Fun.org. We'll also accept overseens and the occasional boring dream. We will accept that as well. And we always like to start with the guest. Colt, will you please? Yeah, I've got two if you want them.

Yeah, do you want one round the horn? Yeah. Okay. Let's do that. I'll do an overheard and then I'll top it with an overseen. Sounds good to me. Okay. Okay.

All right. Okay, I was in Maine and I saw this guy having trouble with his dog and pizza, like on his car. His dog and pizza? So he had his pizza in one hand and his dog kind of in the other hand. Oh, yikes. His dog in his hand or his leash in his hand? A dog in his hand. Okay.

And you can't put those two on the same hand to open the, the door. Well, it was more, he was like laying it all on the front grill. Would that be called? Hood? Oh, yes. Yeah, a dog in the hand is worth of pizza in the hood. Delicious.

In the bush? And then I, so I asked him if he needed help. He goes, he goes, yeah, I'm just doing a pizza review with my dog. You got to make your money somehow. So do you need help or what? Oh, yeah, here we got some pepperoni. we uh the dog really what the dog what the dog eat um on a pizza yeah oh maybe olives i don't know a dog would eat olives they'd be fine with it's where if it's covered in cheese they'll get it down

they're like that's like that's how we get my dog to eat olives we have to cover it and put it in a treat there's a oh there was a woman on instagram who to get her dog to eat a thing for medication she pretends that he's not supposed to Yeah And he's like, no you eat this I've seen like a montage Of that of people being like, okay Getting the

pills together and then dropping One oh no no don't get it don't get it And then the dog They're so dumb I love them We have the Alexa at home And I'm always like I have a dog And I'm always I've never

The most I use it for is like Alexa Can dogs eat this? Can dogs eat that? And what can't they? They eat onions, chocolate, and grapes. Avocado, I think is going. Or something in avocado?

I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah. God, dogs are the best. And I remember when I first got the dog, I swear I asked Alexa, can they eat grapes? And it said yes. And I like threw some grapes on the ground. And like, she didn't eat the grapes.

And then later I think I was at somewhere else. And they're like, what do you doing for being grapes? I'm like, yeah, it's fine. Yeah. And then I looked it up. It's like, oh, no, that's the worst thing. Did you know that Alexa hates dogs? I knew it.

Yeah, I know it. And I sometimes ask my dog, hey, what can I feed the Alexa? Hey, Monster? How do I feed the Alexa? How do I feel like batteries or whatever? Charge it. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah, I was at Home Depot yesterday.

They've got questions. You've got answers. Yeah, yeah. You can do it. We can help. Yeah, that's right. And I was doing, oh, I love that little region of Broadway and Camby. Yeah.

You got, you can do all your shopping. Yeah, you got grocery stores. You got a Canadian tire. Yep. Home Depot. You got Home Depot. Best Buy. Jollybee.

Jollybee. You can have Jollybee. So I went. Pizza. There's no pizza pizza there. There's only like one in the city as far as I know. I believe though there's a weird, like, flatbread place there called La Rua. which is the closest thing to pizza.

Yeah, yeah. There's a Chipotle. There's a McDonald's. There's a really good Chinese restaurants. There's Yokes does a great egg. Yokes is pretty good. Yeah. Anyway, but I was in the Home Depot and they didn't have what I wanted the bastards.

I was in the Home Depot. I was in the Lowe's. Combination. A home depot and Lowe's. And then. But as I was leaving Home Depot, there was a guy my age with his two sons. And he, I think he sounded sort of Eastern European, maybe. And he was looking for some bamboo.

And he was talking to the employee at Home Depot and said, and they said, bamboo? And he was like, yeah, bamboo sticks to poke holes and make a flute. Come on, you have this somewhere here, right? And I just kept walking. I went to Canadian Tire, got my contact cleaner. Nice. And then I left and was walking up the street. And I saw this guy carrying two sticks of bamboo.

Yes. He found it. I was hoping you said I saw this guy doing street music. He drilled it. You got it drilled in the store and then just set up on the sidewalk. Do do do do do do do do Do a careless whisper on a bamboo And then you called him out

That it was just a recording You didn't even have time Polk holds again You're drawn on Hey everybody This guy's a fraud Don't give him money Money

Um My overheard Please This was said to me I was in a diner Really nice diner And I was sitting next to an older woman Well shout it out

Was it the diner where they made the Charlie Sheen documentary? Yep. And he was there. I guess he's a regular. It hangs out there all the time. He's making part three. Yeah. What is he doing since the documentary came out?

Yeah. And the table next to me. Part three of the documentary or hot shots? Yeah. What would they spoof this time? Oh my God. Anything. Probably a lot of the Mission Impossible stuff.

Yeah. The first one was Top Gun. The second one was Rambo? Yeah. And the first one, if you haven't seen it, it parodies the scene in like nine and a half weeks where he's putting food on her stomach. And then he puts like bacon on and it's frying on her stomach. And he puts an olive in her belly button. That's so funny.

Is that not in a second one? Oh, that might be in the second one. Those movies are very consistent. Yes. Yeah. They were funny. But there was an older lady next to me. really struggling to get out of her seat.

And so I said, like, do you want, can I help you? And she said, no. And then she disappeared into the bathroom for what seemed like hours. And then my food came and she came back to the seat. I was like, why are you going to do this to yourself twice? Getting in and out and in and out. But she sat down and then she just looked over to me like disgusted. It's a pretty big plate of food.

I was like, I didn't make it. I just ordered the eggs and toast. I'm not in charge of portions on this continent. Yeah, I was like, self-conscious about it after that. Was it a big play? No, it was normal diner plate, you know. Did the waitress come up to your table at the beginning and be like, we do things a little different here.

Have you ever been here before? Yeah, this is, none of this is for sharing. This is for you. You get a big plate and you don't share it. Do you think Emilio Estavis wasn't in the documentary? because he was bitter that his spoof movie National Labboons Loaded Weapon One didn't do as well. That one had some really solid laughs in it.

Yeah, it was good too. I saw it in the theater. You remember, you guys remember anything about that? I remember. Loaded Weapon? Yeah. Yeah, there's a really funny gag with somebody's doing a police sketch artist, and they're describing it, and the sketch artist is drawing Mr. Potato Head.

And then later on the movie, you see Mr. Potato Head being brought in to the station. I remember there's one scene where I think his partner is Samuel L. Jackson, and Samuel Jackson is like talking to the person, you know, a witness behind the, they're in a 7-Eleven and it's the guy behind the counter. I am sure the portrayal was very, um, yeah, smart and class. Yeah. Uh, but Emilio Westerves is over in the, in the magazine section. Oh yeah.

And he's, uh, going through magazines. And they have all those like inserts to like subscribe. and he's tearing them out and reading another magazine cut away and then you cut back to him and his feet are just covered with a giant mound of those little insert. Oh, man.

Do you remember anything from it? No. I definitely saw it in the theater. Was Leslie Nielsen in it? He did another weird spoof movie that sucked, right? He did the Dracula-Dun-3. I think it was Dracula. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking of.

Naked-gun 3 also wasn't up to last really. He also did Spy Hard. You might be thinking of Spy Hard? Also, I've been dropped in my head for the last 25 years. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we've got our faculties with us, and that's why we could remember gags from National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon One. Yeah, anyways, a real classic movie. And a big plate of food.

Now, Graham, Colt has another. Oh, that's right, round the horn. I do. I haven't overseen. I was on a flight, a red eye home from L.A. to Chicago, and I got bumped up to first class. Nice. And directly in front of me and to the left was a very famous movie star. Point blank, he's not that gross.

Okay. It's front of point break. It was Keanu reads. And so, of course, and he's a little older, so his texts are huge. So I'm reading all of his texts. Okay. Which is very fun. Okay.

But my overseen is, and this is where I turn in. And you're not going to name him. I'm not going to name him. I'm not going. And you're not even going to let us bleep it. Oh, sure. Yeah. Who was it?

I felt I gave a pretty good hint. What? That he was... Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Okay, nice, nice. Listeners, if you can decode it, then you know who are talking about. Yeah.

And he started vaping on the flight. Oh. He's kind of a bad boy, too. I went from such a fan to, like, I need to call the police. Yeah. What the hell? I didn't, but I wanted to. And he got away with it?

Of course, he's, he can do whatever he wants. He, uh, apparently he does cameos. He's a cameo guy. Is that right? Yeah. Which just doesn't fit with my perception of him. Vaped donuts the whole time. Those are cool.

Yeah, damn it. But not on the plane. No, don't vape on the plane unless it's in the bathroom. Yeah. It just allowed anything goes in the bathroom. Well, he's such a big star that he thought like, No, like. It is weird.

Like, that is, if someone smoked like a cigarette on the plane, I imagine they would be in handcuffs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was waiting for it. But. No, no, they don't care. No, consequence. And he was in the first seat.

Yeah. They called one A. Yeah, no, one B. One B. Oh, no window for bleepie over here. I totally did not get your hit. I mean, neither. Absolutely a great hit.

But I was questioning, like, what is he talking about? Well, yeah, when you said point blank, I was like, it's saying with you, it was like, well, Patrick Swayze's dad, so it's got to be a candidate. It was Richard Nixon, actually. Was he holding the vape above his head? To get the pilot's attention. Yeah. We're going to name more clues. I'm trying to think of another.

Yeah, that's tough Now, we also have overheards and such sent into us by people all over the world If you want to send anyone in, send it into SPY at max fun dot or I was on this plain thing, you know, the guy keeps vaping, I'm better off dead Nice I really have struggling to remember another There's just not like those are the iconos Those are the big one

Yeah, I mean there's, you know Yeah. Not weird science. No, but certainly he had some kind of problem with his ability. The level of fidelity. Yeah, that's right, yeah. All right. He's had some wild summers. Sure.

There you go. And definitely, like, he's one of America's sweethearts. There. His sister's name is Joan. Yes, it's Frank Jett. Yeah. Frank Jett Nice

Thanks Now this first one As I said We accept overheards Overseens And sometimes over dreams And this one I liked Because it's not a boring one

This is a dream This is a dream from Jen From Halifax If anyone wants to send these in Send him into Matt Oh you were Yeah When you were talking about that

I was trying to think of more movies Um This is the word Chesterfield we used it on the podcast and this like jogged something in her memory. Do you know what Chesterfield is in Canada? It's a Canadian word. I mean, I definitely listened to the episode,

but I've been dropped in my head for 25 years. It's a Canadian word for sofa or couch. Oh, no, I did not know that. So this is so much, like when the word Chesterfield brought up, my partner preemptively tells me he knows what I'm about to say. My grandmother used to take me to hang out with her friends, an adorable elderly gay couple who had a scruffy dog named Car Wash, great name.

In brackets, vibe city. Alexa, what can I feed Car Wash? Oh, Buick. So one of the friends was telling us about a dream he had. He was ascending an escalator in the mall. when he suddenly felt faint. He felt himself falling backwards, but then was caught by the patron behind him

who lifted him into their arms. He looked up and saw that this savior was none other than Princess Diana. Oh, this is a dream. Totally forgot it was a dream. Who carried him up the escalator and laid him gently on the Chesterfield that was inexplicably waiting at the top.

Great dream. I thought it was going to be Chester. Like somebody named Chester? Is there a famous Chester? Uh, cheetah. Yeah. Yeah. The molester.

Um, I, uh, Chester A. Arthur, I believe was one of your many presidents. Um, I've been having some very boring dreams. None of really sticking with me. Yeah. To talk about, but like, like, every night, I'm, stuff's going on. Mm. It's, and I'm like, you know, it varies boring. Like, I feel like at one point I was trying to match a paint color.

Can you attest that to anything? Uh, I have boring dreams all the time. Yeah. But the fact that I'm having so many, I don't know. Hmm. Usually it's when something's going on. I always get the one in traveling. I always dream in other people's beds.

Oh. Oh. The racist tour that you're doing. What was that again? You're doing a racist tour, I think. We're going to go down to town. Find Canada's most racist town. I couldn't remember if that had to do with Logan Paul's travels or what.

Or if it was in your dream. Yeah. This next one is an overta. I've been dropped on my head for 25 years, so I couldn't remember. Abby does it. And she'll get, you know, eventually she'll get there where she can hold you up. I know, right? Yeah.

This is Kirsten in Seattle. I was picking up my kid from middle school. I parked behind a standard looking gray minivan. A sticker on the back window set in big print, caution. This car makes frequent stops. In smaller print, it said, at your mom's house. Fun. Small enough that like a kid wouldn't see it, you know, but it's fun for the parents.

You know. I saw one the other day that was the co-you-know-the-co-exist. Yeah. I got you one that said, what did it say? It was all the religious symbols, and then it had Calvin. Oh, he got it. And then I saw one the other day that was coexist with all the religious symbols, except it spelled eat a dick. Love it.

I have to go in my recently deleted to find this book because I deleted it. But I would say I delete roughly. none of my photos. Yeah, even if it's a black screen that I accidentally took trying to turn my alarm off. I was just like, why do I? Oh, here it is. What do we got here?

This one had brazzers. Uh-huh. And what is browsers? The guy, Quagmire? No, it's his name. Yeah, yeah, Quaggyggyggy-dy-gig-dy-gag-dy-guy. Yeah. Bang Bros sticker.

Oh, wow, this guy loves sex. Money shot films, it says. Oh, wow. Well, that they're good. Yeah, they just picked up one of my scripts. Is fake taxi a porno thing, or is that just a butt finger in the butter finger? I identify as a Porsche. This guy was all over the place.

This guy believes in a lot of things. Well, mostly one thing. Dave Chappelle is the crack guy. Yeah, he's probably a fun neighborhood character. This last one comes from Dan S, Parts Unknown. I was doing bedtime with my seven-year-old daughter, and she asked if she could play a song before bed. I said, sure.

And she asked Google to play Just Keep Watching by Tate McCray on the F1 soundtrack. As the first few notes of the song played, she put her hands behind her head, closed her eyes, let her a long breath and said, oh yeah, that's the good stuff. Absolutely freaking adorable. Tate McCray from Calgary. Yeah, if she went to Western. And that was the school for all. all the gifted kids.

She was dating, or maybe is dating, Jack Hughes of the New Jersey Devils. Oh, she's pulling a Swift, dating a Who is, I believe he scored the gold medal goal. Okay.

And before the Olympic, she appeared in a Team USA like promo video. Hmm. And people were like, you're turning, you're back on Canada. And she famously said, my God, what was the It was like, y'all know I'm Canada down.

And she won a couple of words at the Junos and she wasn't there to pick it up. So that's what I think very little of Tate McCray. Well, you think a little of anyone who went to Western. They were your rivals. They were my rivals. Now, in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos. If you want to send us a voice memo, it's just as easy as emailing. it to SPY at maximum fun.org.

Or if you want to call us, it is a phone that you need to use. And the number on the dial is this one. One, 844-779, 7631. That's one. Ugh. Spypod one. Like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham and Possible guest.

This is Tim from North Adams, Massachusetts. And I have an overdreamt of the boring kind. Last night, I dreamt the due to a national shortage of headache. my local seafood restaurant, Boston Seafoods, had to close for 10 days. And everyone was very sad. And I was very sad despite the fact that I only eat there a handful times a year. Well, off I go.

Thanks so much. If it was the night you went out and it was closed, if you're like, I can't wait to get some pollock, was it? What's had. Hattuck? I don't know what that is. Haddock is a fish. Yeah.

And then is there a Boston something for every food? There's a Boston pizza. Yeah. There's a Boston. What was this? Chicken. Isn't there a Boston? Market.

Market, that's the one. No, this was Boston seafood. Yeah. Have you been? I don't eat anything from the sea. Really? Nothing. Nothing.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Not even seaweed. No. Nothing from the sea. Not even salt.

Not even salt. You should see the face. Dave is giving it. You can hear it. Not even salt. Well, that's great. I like a boring dream. I have them myself.

Yeah. Let's see if you can. match a paint color. Here we go. Hey, Dave Graham and Possible guest. This is Mike from Rochester, New York, calling in with an overseen. I'm a grad student, and on my way to campus one morning, I was behind a Pontiac vibe at a stoplight. It was covered in bumper stickers, but the one that stood out to me said, the only thing worse than being 40 is making a wet fart in your panty hose. Well, off I go. The pantyos really caught me up guard. I mean, yeah, man. Turning 40's not for the pain of heart.

But all about being 40 is worse than making a wet part of Pannios. Yeah. Pannios is, they're still around. Like they, I feel like they, I feel like they weren't around for a while.

And now, because you got back on the scene. Yeah, it's weird because. You might be going out a lot. Well, I was, I was a bank robber for a long time.

And so I was looking for some hose. You know my first match I wore Panyos? on my head. Why? Like over your face? Yeah. My name was, this guy gave me,

he said, you're the goon. Wear all denim and panty hose over your head. That was my first wrestling character. You win? No, I lost. Oh, okay.

Yeah. And then I shit my, my son, I shit my head. Martin Short famously wore them as a bank robber in the movie three fugitives. Yep. Love it. But yeah,

it was a thing. you would see them in the drugstore for sale. In the eggs. In the eggs. I don't see the eggs anymore. But they sell them in like whatever, a container or a little envelope.

Yeah, a little pack, yeah. And, but yeah, I don't know people who wear them, but I don't know that many women. Women if you're out there, right in and tell us panties. It seems like something you wear with your skirt at work. Yeah, yeah. But then you get a run in them, that's it. They're ruined.

Maybe we can get a sister show, the panty hose girls. Yeah. I like it. Call in now. Also, I've heard, and I don't know if this is true, but if you can, if you get run in your pantyhose, you can use nail polish. I've heard that as well. Close it up. What are the great home remedies I've heard.

It is really good. Also, how is this other podcast not just called the panty hose? And it's spelled. Wow. Ah, that's why they pay you the big donations. The German word for pants is hosen. Oh, yeah, sure. Later, hosen.

And so that's probably where that comes from. Because they're panty pants. That sounds like something you're like, hold your panty pants. All right, final phone call. He's the Graham Impossible Guest. This is Carrie from Texas. I was just enjoying my lunch break out by this nice duck pond behind where I work. And there was a mom there with her like three-year-old and her bring seed to the ducks.

And then the mom said, okay, well, what do you do next? And the kid said, punch it, duck. I figured out how to lure them. No, I want to punch one square in the bill. Yeah. be cool about ducks, everybody. Yeah, yeah. Chill out.

You couldn't catch one if you tried. No, I don't like, that's kind of my thinking is like, could I catch as in, I think one of the Rocky movies, doesn't you have to like chase a chicken around? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Have you ever in your training days? Yeah, of course. Yeah. What do you think wrestling school was?

The, yeah, as a child, I do feel like a squirrel or a pigeon comes near you and you think maybe I want to. maybe I take this home. Yeah. They're so fast. I feel like I could grab. No, they started flabbing their wings, though. I don't think I could grab the pigeons. Do you think you could catch a tiger by a toe?

Well, what happens if he hollers? Nobody knows. Impossible to know. Well, that brings us to the end of this year episode. Colt, tell us, tell us what you're up to. Tell us where we can find you. Where we can send birthday messages. Yeah.

I ourselves some Colt merch for your birthday. But I'm not hustling as much anymore. I'm a corporate man now. Yeah, that's right. You're a show. I forgot. Sold out. He sold out, man.

When you're backstage at these wrestling events, you're dressed as Irwin R. Shreiseman. Yes, I'm full student. No way, it's the best. You can wear whatever you want. I'm back there. I'm a literal corporate man wearing cut off t-shirts and panty-hose on your hair. And farting panty-hose.

It's the best. It's the best. Yeah, watch AEW All-Eat Wrestling every Wednesday and Saturday night on HBO Max. And I'm on the internet at Colcabana, but I don't know. I do some stuff. I don't. Whatever.

Whatever. But yeah, be sure to wish Colta a happy birthday. This is, yeah. I don't know. I'm not going to ask an age that's in polite to ask somebody in their age. I'm not going to ask. I know. I know I, I know it.

I want to know the age of the guy in the story from the plane earlier. I'm not going to say his name, but how do we think so and so is? I'm guessing he is. Boy, 60. Yeah, I was thinking. I think I looked it up, maybe 61, but yeah. Yeah.

Well, many happy returns to, you'll never guess who. And hey, have a good vape on a flame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For my birthday. I'm tired of these motherfucking vapes on this motherfucking point. And thank you, everybody out there for listening to the show. You mean so much to us.

And I will plug. The 24-hour comedy show I am doing on May 22nd and 23rd. This very month at Little Mountain Gallery. Oh, it's going to be a time. You're going to hear so many jokes. And raise a little money for Little Mountain Gallery. He's 59. Oh, really?

Yeah. You writing jokes? Yeah, I'm writing jokes on the Saturday, I think, at the 2 o'clock. That's prime time. Maybe noon. I don't know. Yeah. That's prime slot.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you everybody out there for listening. and come on back next week for another episode to stop podcasts of yourself.