Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 947 - Alannah Brittany

Episode Date: May 12, 2026

Comedian Alannah Brittany returns to talk vocal prep, alley shenanigans, and the Hulk Hogan documentary. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Welcome to episode number 947 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. And with me, as always, is somebody I want to wish, may the first be with you, Dave Schumke. Yeah, this comes out on the 11th.

May the 11th be with you. Do we do it for every day of the month? Because isn't, uh, is it April 30th where they play the Justin Timberlake? It's going to be, mate. And then April 25th, they show the clip from miscongeniality, where they ask the competitor, what's your ideal date? She says April 25th. And then I believe October 3rd from Mean Girls, they ask,

they play the clip of Aaron Samuels asking what day it is. Are there any other meme days? Other meme days. I mean, of course, you know, the standards, your January 1st is your... Halloween's a big meme. Yeah, that's a big me day. Is there a good Friday one? I feel like any Friday's a good Friday.

Yeah, I feel like any Wednesday is an Ash Wednesday if you're rubbing up ashes on your forehead. Yeah. Yeah, well, you know, if anybody out there, if you got some other dates, send them our way. Yeah, send us your date. Yeah, what are your digits? Date figs. Yeah, blums. Yeah, I guess so sure.

Or plum, what are plums? Bruins. Prunes are dried plumb. Yeah. And dates are dried figs. And, uh, yeah, man, I, yeah, go for juicy prune. Do you ever see a recipe for like, uh, like healthy dessert that's just like a date covered in oatmeal or something?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no thing. Yeah. Yeah. If I'm going to eat dessert, it's going to be fudge covered in chocolate with wrinkles on top. Let me tell you, I had the new blizzard. Yeah. It's having the blizzard of the month. It's my first.

I like to get in early. It's a donut blizzard. Oh, okay. Chunks of donut? Chunks of donut. Okay. Ahoy. Yum.

Check it out. Dairy queen. 2026. A medium blizzard is $8. The economy is doing fine. Our guest today, returning guests to the podcast, very funny comedian. It's a treat to have her. It's Atlanta Brittany.

Oh, hi. That was really hard to stay quiet through. I have so many questions about the blizzard. Yeah, you're not required to stay quiet. Oh, I thought I did. I just sat here going, like, well, yeah, let's get your hot blizzard take. Wait. Or your questions.

Yeah, quit you there, Atlanta. Yeah, okay. Are they still doing the wooden spoons at Derry Queen? Yeah. That's not okay. No? No. You miss the plastic spoons.

Oh, I do. Is that what? Okay. Round table. The door. handles that Derry Green are still the red plastic spoon door handle. See, that's rude now. There's rumming in our faces.

I see you're coming from, but I can rise above. Wow. Okay. Go around the circle. What plastic thing that's been discontinued do you miss the most? Oh, straws. 100%. Straws and spoons.

I'll do it too. Straws and spoons? Okay. Well, it's not plastic. It's styrofoam. I miss all the styrofoam. Yeah, styrofoam cups. Remember those?

Oh, the no heat. Transfer. Yeah, and also, like, the way they'd fall apart into little balls. And then you could, if you wanted to bite the bottom of one and drink, you drink that way, you'd be in quite a pickle that you'd persevere. They'd squeak. They had a patented squeak. What is, what plastic do you miss? Plastic bags.

Oh, my God. Yeah. I want plastic bags back. But you're a tote boy. Because plastic bags are not available. Really? I thought you were just a tote boy through and through. No, I like them for garbage.

I like them for a little, for like a waste, like a bathroom garbage can. Yeah. Unbeatable. Oh, yeah. Undefeated. Undefeated. If you're like going somewhere on a super rainy day and you've got a backpack, you put a book in there, wrap it up just to make sure it doesn't get soaked. Oh, yeah.

I thought you were going to say right on the shoes, tie them up. Yeah. Put some bread bags on your shoes. Yeah, you can still get a bread bag. Oh, sure. And it's on my feet right now. All the plastic bags in the produce department. Yeah, I stock up when I go to Costco.

I go into the meat section and I just pull a whole roll of those plastic bags. Smart. Don't tell anybody. I use them as a compost liner. If you go to Save on foods. But are they compostable? If they say so. Oh.

Well, to me, I bury all my plastic bags and assume that the flowers will grow there. If you go to Save on Foods, this is BC Oling, I guess. By the way, the most beloved company in the province, according to a local, our recent Ipsos pole. Yeah. So, well, let's get to know. Get to know us. Dave and I were mucking around with an episodes bowl of the 10 most beloved brands from BC. What do you think, do you think you could nail any of them? Unfortunately, I'm going to say Lula Lemon was probably on there.

Lou Llemon was not on there. Really? I mean, I wouldn't beloved them, myself. Are there thrifties? Thrifties is not on there. No, 50s wasn't on there? Second cup? Second come is a VC company? JJB.

J.J. Bean is not on there. No, J.J.B. Okay, so I'm doing really bad. Think about a pharmacy that has a lot of other stuff. Oh, shoppers? No. London drugs. London drugs is number two.

Save on as number one. Oh, why? Also on the list. Yeah. It was a weird list. It had Vancouver International Airport was one of the beloved companies. Oh, BC Hydro. Like, who doesn't love?

Tellus was one of them for crying out loud. Tellis is a national. But it's based in BC. Same with A&W. It was based in BC. It was on the list. And that stands for Ambergers and Woofair. And then Purdy's was on the list.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, you got to give it to Perkins. White spot. You got to give it up. Yeah. Anyway, anyone who's not from here listening, sorry. Yeah.

But if you have to go to Save on Foods in the Bulkow, They got plastic bags. They have a little zipper on them. It's like a Ziploc. Not at my save on food. Well, look around. Oh, man. I'm going to have to shop at a duffer and shop at a duffron.

Shop it on a duffron. Sorry, I'm a bit lispy right now because I just found out I'm allergic to walnuts. Oh, no. Yeah, by eating walnuts. What happens? It sounds like you're doing material. No, I'm not. Everybody, I'm allergic to walnuts.

by eating walnuts. No, I just, my mom was always like, oh, walnuts make my mouth hurt. And I was like, oh, weird. And mine doesn't do that with walnuts. And then it started doing it. And then every time I've had a walnut ever since, it's gotten progressively worse until last time my tongue just swelled really big. No more walnuts for you.

I guess not. It's avoidable, though, I think. Like, it's not, they're not in everything. No, you're right. They are avoidable, except for I like, I like them. Do you use a nutcrack? Cracker? Do you have that?

Or do you go just? I just go bare walnut. I don't buy it. Really? Do you buy your nuts pre-uncrack? I'm allergic to nuts. So I don't really know anything about cracking nuts. What are my nut purchases?

I buy them pre. I buy my almonds slivered. Yes. Slivered. I buy. Pistachio still in the shell. I got to assume. I'll do both.

Okay. But you really pay a premium for a shelled. And you lose out on a lot of the fun. The sore nails. Uh-huh. Peanuts? I could go either way. Yeah.

Sheld or not shelled? Really? What do you do? I don't, I don't, if I'm buying it anything, it's convenience-based. Like, a nut, I'm not buying it. Or like crunching up, crunching off a peanut shell, that's fun. Peanut shells look dusty to me. Yeah.

I'm always worried I'm going to crack it open and it's going to be like, surprise, it's a spider. It might be a spider sometimes. Yeah, I've heard that happens. Yeah. And also, my sister loves sunflower seeds, like in the shell, the spits. And I think that's the most disgusting thing in the whole wide world. It's also the most disgusting name for a product. Spits?

Spits. That is what you do. I think we can make it grosser. Sploge. First you spits and then you swallow because you have to get the little piece. What is the... There you go. See, you made it grosser.

I did. I don't think I, we have some sunflower seeds in the house right now. Yeah. They're fine. Yeah. Are they shelled? They're not shelled. Although my mom's favorite is shelled candied.

Like, candy. sunflower seeds. I've never even heard of that. Yeah. You get them, well, I get them from Amazon and then I give them to her on Mother's Day. That's so nice.

That's what you're getting, or is that what you're getting her this year for Mother's Day? Yeah. Yeah. Candied sunflower seeds. Okay. Like a Jordan almond, but a sunflower seed.

I don't know what that means. Oh, right. I don't know what a Jordan almond is. I only know because my sister had a candy bar at her wedding and my mom was like, well, you have to have, you have Jordan almonds.

Oh, yeah? It's just like a candy-coated almond that if you bite, you break your tooth. The candy bar of weddings. That's a pro that, that like becoming a thing, a regular thing at weddings. Yes. I like it.

He had one. But I also just feel like, wow, candy at 7 o'clock at night. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Name of time. Name a time of day. 4 a.m.

Oh, give me up and let me send my alarm and get some candy. 5 a.m. Same thing. Alone when your kids are. 6 a. Once the sun is up, I mean. I love it. Yes.

Now name a candy. Name a candy? Yeah. Jujube. Oh, I love it. Oh, okay, wait. Are you a sour jub-jub or regular jub-d-jub? Regular.

Are you a jub-jub or a ju-jub? What did I say? Well, you said jub-jub. I say ju-jub, but they could be both right. And some people say ju-jub-B. J-Jub-B. Oh, I thought that's a... J-Jub-B is...

I think that's an Amer... Well, maybe not Americanism. Maybe. You are a sour jub. I like the sour ones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Huh. I know. What other candies were at your sister's wedding? Ooh, a lot of licorice. M&Ms. She got the ones printed with like their initials or whatever. That's fun. You just hate it.

We got the ones. They didn't have our name. I don't think they had our name, but we special ordered ones that were like our wedding colors. Yeah. I feel like what year did you get married? 2011. Yeah, that was the thing that because they got married in 2010. It was like that was what people were doing was colorful candy bars.

Well, our wedding colors were brown and black. Beautiful. Beautiful. It was bare themed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. He's bought regular M&Ms and just sort of them yourselves. And their colors did not go together at all. Now, are you, are you wed? Ah, I am not. I'm common laud. Okay. You're common law.

Yeah. Is that something you would ever want to do, put on a big party and get wed? Heck, yeah. I love a party. Yeah? Yeah, but I wouldn't want a big, like, I'm not a, he's, he's, Jewish. He wants like, he was like, I would have to have a Jewish wedding. And I'm like, I'm not getting lifted in a chair. That's not happening. But doesn't it just the, sometimes can just the fella get up in the chair? That's what will happen. If it happens, if we do that. But I'm like, it'll be like probably in a backyard somewhere. I'm like, so it'll be a lawn chair. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, it won't be a regular chair. You have to just take whatever chairs in there. It's a flimsy. That's tradition. Yeah, if you get married at a wrestling event, they hit you at the chair and then they lift you up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The, uh, yeah, would you go? A tradition wedding or would you be a fun, wacky wedding?

What would you do? Probably fun, wacky. I think a surprise wedding would be fun. That would be fun. Yeah. Surprise for you or the guests? Or like, what does that mean? Surprise.

Good question. I want to know because I usually wear pajamas. So it would be good to that. For the listener, she's wearing pajamas. They're footy pajamas right now. It's got pink bunnies on it. It's a surprise podcast. No, I, no, I want my, I would want the guests to think they were coming to like a

birthday party. Oh, that would be fine. And then that way they're not going to bring presents. Like Brittany and Kevin. Yeah, did they do that? They did a surprise one and the theme was Pimps and Hose. Oh, really? Yeah, they did a surprise wedding.

Wow. Where they wore, I want to say, like, like, juicy? No, sweatsuits. Like, maybe juicy sweatsuits. It could have been juicy. Yeah. I hope it was. And then also their divorce was a surprise because Kevin Petter, like, got a text.

during a interview on much music. Really? Yeah. That's amazing. That's Canada's claim to fame. I love, I have a clause in our, like, because we got a place together. So we basically put like a, almost like a pre-nup. Sure.

Okay. Which is very romantic. Yeah. And there is this clause in it that says, if you break up by written, by something, like, by written breakup. Yeah. That it's okay. Like, you're allowed to break up over something written. Okay.

And that counts. Also, like, so I have a piece of, like, a legal document that says that I can break you on a post, break up with you on a post-it note. That's or over-text. I could do it if I want to. Oh, really? Over text. Okay.

Wow. Yeah, it's, it's, well, I guess so. Why did I put that in? Discussed. Well, documents. Like legal documents all need to be paper, I think. I think. Yeah, it can be a text.

But, okay. Just written. But you can't do it verbally. You can't be like, I break up with you. I think I could, but I think I also. You also have the option. Yeah. Yeah.

If I want to be a coward. Yeah. Like my man, Burger. Yeah, from Sex and the City. Yeah, the posted now guy. No, I'm talking about Mayor McChese. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he broke up with surprise wedding.

He broke up with Carrie. Yeah. Carrey and Bigg. Yeah. Then Mr. Brigg, Mr. Brickback. Oh, did you guys hear Big News McDonald's wise that they're having a subscription service? Yeah, you sent me that. Yeah.

$54 a month for unlimited meals. No, that's terrible. Tell me what's terrible about it. They're going to lose. much money. McDonald's is. Yeah. You think everybody's

going to subscribe? Yeah, because one meal costs like $20. Yeah. That's true. And you could just go and get it for a whole bunch of people. But I think are they relying...

Are the wedding I'm doing? For your wedding. Surprised wedding. I don't think you could do it for a family of five. I don't think you get five meals. So there's a restriction? I think there's...

Well, I didn't read anything, but it's that unlimited meals, but I can't imagine like five meals at once, please. I imagine they're relying on people doing the same thing they do. with their like Apple Cloud, iCloud subscriptions and just it just keeps

auto-ridden. I forgot that I'm subscribed to this. You're eating at a Burger King and then you're like, fuck. Oh, shit, I forgot all that. I'm a McDonald's guy. I'm, uh, every month, there's always a subscription that I'm, uh, that I forget that I have.

And then I also forget to cancel it. What are some of the ones you? Yeah, I cloud storage. Oh, yeah. I cloud I'm not sure I'm using, but I, I don't mean either. I don't know. I'm subscribed to it. I appear to be using it.

I don't access it in a way that I know. Like, I don't go to iCloud.com and one picture, please. I know I use it because I keep getting emails saying it's full, dummy. Yeah, yeah. And then it says purchase more. I'm like, well, my hands are tied. What can I do? I must.

I cannot. I won't. No, I refuse. I think the problem is I purchased. I purchased more. And now I don't get those emails. So I'm like, maybe I'm not even using this. I support a couple.

stacks that haven't put out stuff for six months to a year. That's so nice of you. Well, it's only because I forget. And then when it comes back around, I'm like, ah, it's only five bucks, you know? That just happened to me. I had, I bought a flight somewhere on some, some site that's in French. And so I didn't obviously read the fine print because I was like, I'm not translating. And then it just renewed.

But it's, it's called like prime, like eCloud prime. And so I contacted Amazon, be like, you're charging me for something. And they're like, that's not a dummy. Oh, wow. Yeah. And then I was like, oh no, I guess like have. You say it was a flight? Yeah, I don't know.

I got it from some sketchy website. Where are you paying it monthly for this flight? No, it was like a subscription, like annual subscription to some, I was like, E-Cod Prime. I don't know. It's some scam. I think it's a scam. But the flight was like $70.

To where? I think this was either to Edmonton or from Edmonton to Calgary. That's about the right price. I'd say 70, 70 bucks, Edmonton Calgary. Yeah, it shouldn't cost more than that. Yeah. I mean, the bus is probably even more than that. Probably, but yeah, I just had to get there for, I was just doing a little toury thing, and I had to, I wasn't going to get a bus.

Yeah, well, fair enough. This was, this was a stand-up comedy tour. Yeah, I did it, just, when was that? A few months ago. Have you done one where it's driving town to town? Yeah, I did it with Andrew Packer. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was, I love, I love going to small towns driving around.

You do? I love it. Have you ever done a show in Lillowet, British Columbia? No. Can't say that. Where is it? I've heard the name a million times. It's far.

It's how do you get there? You can go up. It's kind of in the middle. Like, you know where Pemberton is? Yeah. That past Pemberton. Okay. And it is so fun.

There's this old, like, just looks like a weird old-timey saloon restaurant slash hotel. Yeah. And the bathtub is like the whole bedroom. It's so weird. And then the show is in their little bar room. And everybody. The show is in the bath, though. I wish.

It was big enough. It was huge. But there was no shower, so you had to, like, figure out. It was so weird. But we were... So you had to have a tub. Yeah. Well, yeah, it's on my writer.

I must have a tub. Must have a tub. I must have tough. I must have tiled with brown M&M. Oh, my God. No, no brown. No, no, red, only. Yeah, all brown.

Oh, yeah. One. I'll never get booked anywhere. Except we'll never get booked anywhere. But then we were walking around the town, and then I was with, you know, Scott Belford, Median. Yeah. Yeah.

So Scott and Andrew Packer, and they crashed a wedding in Lillowet. Oh, really? Yeah, I had passed out by that point because they were like, let's do drugs. And I walked for like a block with them and I was like, there's a bear. They're like, it's just a guy holding a guitar. I was like, that's a bear. I have to go to bed. And then you looked, it was a bear with a guitar?

Yeah, yeah. I wish. Were you on drugs? Well, a little bit, a little bit. And so, yeah, then I went to bed and they went. And what drugs were they on? Just weed. Oh, but I can't.

You can't do it? I was like, that's nap time. Yeah, I got very sleepy. Very sleepy and very hungry with the pot, especially the edibles. It creeps up on you. Weird to get hungry from edibles. Yeah. Just eat more.

Eat way through the problem. What? Is it? Well, just because you're eating already. Why would you get hungry? Oh, but that was like an hour ago. I know, and it was one bite. I'm trying.

I'm being a silly boy. Oh, I see. And this is multiple stop tour. Are you just going to a place like Lillowit or you're driving all over and doing? I don't like to take, I don't like to take too much time away from the city. So I'll go, because I like my pillow.

I like my house. Do you like that guy, the crazy guy that loves Trump, my pillow guy? Oh, oh, no. So I'll go like Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, come back Sunday. So I don't want to do too many stuff.

Like that's my, that's kind of right now my mind. maximum I can handle. Because there's traditionally whenever I was on the road years and years ago, you would travel. You do shows Wednesday to Saturday or Sunday and then you would have this gap of time, Monday and Tuesday where you're just like in limbo. Yeah, I don't want that. Yeah.

Do you, when you say you like your pillow, are you being metaphorical or do you love your No, I love my pillow. And you can't take your pillow everywhere with you. What's your pillow? It's a Dan you down. Live the dream with... I missed it. Live the dream with Daniel down.

I nailed it. I never heard that before. Yeah. We just got a new mattress too. Where's it from? It's from Sleep Country, Canada. Why buy a mattress anywhere else. Yeah, I hate that jingle.

Why? I don't know. Part of our heritage. I know. It just hit me. I used to love it. And I think it's paramedopause. now I hate things.

Oh, okay. Randomly. Like, I hate that. I hate all TD bank commercials. Oh, well, that's fair. They're too emotional. Do you know, I, there's a TD bank in our neighborhood. It's the only place I can get cash in a hurry.

Mm-hmm. And, um, have you tried? Have you tried cash stop? Um, but it's, uh, like, it's not my bank, but sometimes they need to go there to use their ATM. And, uh, they play their little jingle when the ATM. Rude. Yeah. Do, do, do, or something.

They also have the green. green couches, like in their branches. Stores? Store? Yeah, bank store. Bank store. I feel like the only time that I actually, like, go into the bank proper is once in a while I'll get a check that's in America. Yes.

And then you can't put it in the ATM. We'll just spit it right back out. Yeah, they get mad. And, boy, oh boy, are the characters that you think are using the bank, tellers still exactly the characters? You bet. They're there. The tellers are stupider now. I feel like they used to know more

And now they just know as much as you do Yeah, they always get Every time I'm like into my savings account They're like, which one? I'm like, there's just the one. Yeah. And they're like, is it this one? I'm like, I don't even know what that means.

I open my online banking on my phone And I have relabeled a bunch of them. I don't know what this is. I don't have too many accounts. I'm like, how do these keep? They can. They will try to sell you one every time you go. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's, I remember one time talking to one of them and there was a very easy. sum that they needed to do in their head and they used a calculator and I was like, oh, man. Oh, no. It did feel like I may, maybe it's because I was a kid and adults knew what money was, but like a bank teller was like a job that you trained for. And now it does feel kind of like it is just a like a cashier. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And like, so here's the weird thing. I was thinking about the story listeners who are bank tellers. If you, because it like used to be back. Yeah, you rob a bank. And then you could use that cash everywhere you went. But now I feel like if you used cash everywhere,

you'd be drawing attention to yourself as being like the one customer that day that used cash. Yeah, especially if you get big bills. Yeah. They always check them now too. At the store? Yeah. Oh, I don't think so. What's the like 50 and up?

Is that what they check? Yeah. You do this? They look. They hold it up to the light. Yeah. Huh? Put it under a black light, lick it.

Mm-hmm. Because remember, didn't they say that it, like, tasted like maple syrup or something? Yeah. I have a $100 bill in my purse. It does smell like maple. Does it really? Yeah. Why do you have a $100 bill in your...

I got paid in cash when I robbed a bank. Yeah. That's literally what the bank is for. It's like to get cash to pay people who... Pay people under the table. Yeah, I only go there if I have to, like, put some money in an envelope for someone's wedding or something. Or did cash a check from an American? Cash a check from an American.

Did you notice, speaking of no cash, the city has gotten rid of coins. You can't put coins in any parking meters anymore. Oh, that's good. Oh, wow. That's good. That's good. They never work anyway. That's true.

Yeah, they're always out of service. They're always out of service. It's good. It's good. But like, are the days of somebody who wants to rob a bank over and it's just you have to be like a hacker now to get online, you know, steal people's cryptocurrency or whatever? And I feel like Robin a bank was like a blue collar, you know, I'm going to go out there and get some cash. Yeah, maybe I'll get like, yeah, I'll become a folk hero. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ooh, a little Robin Hood moment. I don't think you can, I feel like banks, if the tellers got stupid, but the tech got smarter. Yeah. Yeah. Again, sorry. To anybody who's a bank teller. Yeah, or bank robber. Or bank robber.

Well, yeah, you know, I, my heart goes out to the bank robbers of the world, you know. Yeah. Now, they have a lot of movies about them. Bank robbers. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Very, very romantic, I think. I think so.

Bonnie and Clyde. Bonnie and Clyde. Hell or Highwater. Yeah. Gold Brotherard. Though. Classic. Yeah.

I was going to say Oceans 11. Oh, not Ocean's 11. They robbed a casino. Yeah. But still. Casinos like a bank. Yeah. Yeah.

And they stole. They still bills, right, that they stole? I didn't freaking get it. At the end, I was like, I don't, there's one switch too many for my brain. And I'm like, wait, what, what happened there? Who drove what, where? And now there's a van full of exploded, like, stripper. Yeah, the whole time I was just like, Casey Affleck could get it.

He's so hot. Oh, yeah? Oh, my God. Let's go through the 11 and see who's the hottest. Oh, okay. I know I were at number one hottest, the gymnast character. Oh, you could jump all over the play. For me, it's Carl Reiner.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's fair. That's fair. Or is it Lian-Name all 11? Oh, George Clooney. Brad Pitt. Pat. Matt Damon. Damon. John Cheadle.

Don Cetle. Affle mentioned Casey Affle. Casey Affleck is and his little partner? Scott Conn. Scott Conn. Oh, yeah. Scott Conn. The gymnast. The gymnast.

I'm at seven. You're at... No, I'm blinking on eight. Oh, okay. No, that's nine. Wait, no. How are you only on seven? Start again. Clooney, Pitt. Damon. Affleck.

Affleck. Scott Conn. Schittal. Gymnist. Does Carl Reiner count as Carl Reiner? Is Elliot Gould in the first one? Bernie Mac? Bernie Mac and...

Oh, does it... Does the wife kill? No. It's the nerdy, the guy who's the hacker guy. I don't know what the name. It's not Giovanni Rubisi. No, he's not a name I know. He could have been...

That guy. Yeah, that guy. The hacker. Yeah. And Ocean's 12, they added Andy Garcia to the group. Yeah. Oh, because they were against Andy Garcia in the first one. When does Julia Roberts come in?

She's there the whole time. She's not part of the... She's certainly not part the first time. The second time, second one she helps by pretending she's Julia Roberts. Which is the best. Yeah. No, it's the worst. It's the worst.

You could do it in literally every movie. It's so meta and I love it. But like, it's such a cheat. No, it's not. It's like being like, I don't know, pick a movie. Eight Mile. Hey, wait. But you're M&F, so you're going to win this.

Yeah, that's fine. No, I think of another one, private parts. We were all thinking it anyway. Well, private parts. He's our turn. It's not deniable. But what if his boss is a Paul Giamati look alike? See?

See? It could work for every movie. Yeah. That's why it's cheating to actually do it. I love it. So, Alan. Yes. You're traveling standout comedian.

Yeah. Do you, are you somebody that hosts a show once a month or a yearly or a quarterly? Yeah, but the show that you should both come and do. It's that show time of the month, the one where I hook male comedians up to a period cramp simulator. This is amazing. And then they have to try to. to do their set while increasing period pain. I got to write a new set.

You do that. You've got to come do it. Most of the comics you try to do it, don't even get their words out. Really? Yeah, you could just show up. I would be fine. I know you would. It would be great.

What I like to do is walk around with one of those pregnancy. You could do both. Yeah. And then you say, I have my period then. Just cramps. You could just have period. So where on my person am I wearing this device? on my lower stomach?

Yeah, you find, so I found this study from a university in Japan that uses the period cramp simulator to actually give men cramps, cis men cramps. So I follow their protocol. So you have to tense your stomach as hard as you can and find the lowest spot where you can find, or like where you feel contraction. My core, right? Yeah. Where you feel like a contraction of that.

Oh, sure. Of your muscle. Yeah. And then you put one on each side, like left and right. Below the muscle or on the, on the, on. on the lowest part of the muscle. On the lowest muscle, you can find. And these are a little, like, a little sticky.

Sticky guy, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is very fun. It's so fun. Do you get new stickies for each person, or am I going to? I do. I do. And I also wash them.

I'm going to, yeah, use Andrew Packer. I was got a bunch of pubs on it. No, no, no, no. We have lots. We order a ton. And then also, we clean them for people, too. And so is it all dudes on the show? No, there's, the headliner's a female.

Okay. Does she wear it? She wants. Yeah. I mean, we already know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The point is like, so I've had women go on and try it, and they're like, this is, this just makes me mad at the male comedians. They're like, they're like, yeah, we do this all the time.

Yeah. Yeah. And then we also have a guest spot for anybody, non-binary, anybody who wants to do it because I don't want it. Otherwise, it feels very like boys and girls. Only good. It's just silly. So we have got, we do, whoever wants to go on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is, I love this idea of a body. It's so fun. I would totally rock it. Yeah. I would love to inflict fury pain on you. There's a comedian I saw in Winnipeg, and he was an American comedian, and he did a bit where he wore a dog shot collar and handed the remote to somebody in the audience. Oh, my gosh. And it said like...

That's got to be a kink, though. Oh, I mean, it was mine after I saw it. I was like, sad to this guy. I love it. Yeah, that seems crazy. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy to do that to a dog as well. Yeah.

But this guy was crazy. Yeah, I'm sure. Boy, and you definitely don't want to do the period thing to a dog either. No. Yeah, it's not fair. No. Is it just two things? It's supposed to be four, but I, first I was, when I was trying with my co-host, Corey Lupovich, I was like, I was worried that it wouldn't be enough stimulus.

Like, it wouldn't hurt enough, essentially, because I tried it. And I was like, yeah, okay, kind of, yeah, it's not really a lot. And then he tried it. And he was like, oh, yeah, this is really bad. And so he was in agony. So I was like, okay, we'll just do two, not four. because the goal isn't to actually like inflicts. I could do four.

I could do four. In fact, give me another machine. I want to do eight. Okay, we'll do it. Dave can do it. We can do that.

We can line that. It's not constant. It's not consistent. Pull one on to make sore nipples. Ah. Some headache. That might stop my heart. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You're not supposed to put around your head or neck. Is it a constant buzz the whole time or is it? No. It comes in waves. It comes in waves. It comes in waves. And then it goes up in intensity.

throughout the set. Oh, shit. The female body, I think, is actually very beautiful. It is. I don't know. I got a lot of pictures that I've drawn. I was on, I was on, I feel like I was Reddit and some, like we know the uterus from the one drawing of the cow. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah, exactly. But then somebody showed a medical textbook what it really looks like. Really doesn't look like the thing you see in the. Yeah, it's weird. It's a little alien in there. Yeah. I know.

I have a picture of mine. Oh, bringing it up. I'll show you. Well, it's gross. But I don't know if this, you can cut this if this is too much for your podcast. And listeners, just be warned? Yeah, yeah. We're going to go crazy.

We're going there. Yeah. Trigger warning, gross medical information. Yeah. I had a tumor on my ovary. Okay. And it was the size of a grape fruit. It was huge.

Wow. And I was like, I must see this when it comes out. Like, I want you to show me. And the doctor was cool and weird, too. So she's like, I'll take a picture inside of you. And I was like, yes. So what they do is like expand your abdomen with with gas. And so they get.

I don't show up ready to go. Yeah. We didn't even have gas this guy. Yeah, that's what I said. I was like, oh, I should have some beans the day before. They're like, no, we'll use our own gas. And I was like, no fun. Yeah.

Can I also eat a grapefruit just so you can compare the two? Just swallow it whole. Yeah. Yeah. So she took a, but you can see like the uterus. It's just like a weird little fistic. looking, it's just like a lump in there. Yeah.

Yeah, it's weird. It just looks like a little lumpy. I actually think it's pretty beautiful. A lot of people, the whole woman's body, the whole thing. All of it? Yeah. When the doctor took out the grapefruit thing, did they do that thing where they bumped it off their arm?

No. You want to hear something really gross? Yep. Yeah. It was my twin. Oh. Oh my God. That's why I was like, I got to see her.

Yeah. Yeah. Did you have teeth? She had teeth and hair. Yeah. Really? She did. I know.

I know. Dave you looked like you're about to fall. it. Well, I suggested teeth. I actually think the human body, female bodies were beautiful. And my sister. Do you know if it was going to be a girl? Yeah. I was a good. Oh, no. They didn't, they don't test it. I would like to see your drawing of this, this twin. And then we'll prepare it to the real picture.

I haven't drawn every woman. He's busy. He's busy. That's right. Yeah. When Abby used to work at talent agency, they would get fan mail. And a lot of it was from prisoners. Uh-oh. who would, you know, fixate on an actress. Yeah. And they would just say, I love you so much. When I get out of prison, we're going to get married.

And here's some pictures I've drawn of us having sex. I guess there's not a lot to do. You've got to make your own. Yeah, you got to be like, huh, maybe I'm in love with bleep. Oh, wow. Or maybe there's a drawing of this guy in his cellmate having sex and the woman just in the corner watching. In a little cuck chair. Yeah.

A little prison. Yeah. Oh, man. Which is actually a metal toilet. More of a throne, really. Now, I, I seem to recall that Abby would be one of the people that would have to scan this mail or. Yeah, she would, she would read, we used to do a segment on the show where she bred some of the mail. Were the drawings any good, I guess, is.

No, very crude. Very crude. Okay. And, like, labeled like, this is me. This is you. Like, children, like drawn in blood? Like, did they have? Pencils?

No, they give them pencils. That seems dangerous. It does seem dangerous. Well, they're allowed to write. I'd give them like a smelly marker. That'd be hard to stabs over there. It's not a nonstop stab fest. What prison have you been to?

I've been to Attica, Fulsome, Rikers. Alcatraz. That always sounds like a magic spell. Alcatraz. What are the other? Alcatraz. You're impressed. You're trapped.

Are there famous prisons in other countries other than the USA? The Gulag. Sure. I guess Canada, there's that one in Kingston. That's probably the most famous. Colony Farms, pretty famous, isn't it? What's that? It's the one where they put the people who have committed dangerous, psychological bad.

We're not supposed to say crazy anymore, the crazy ones. Yeah. No, you're supposed to say Natso now. The Natsos. Yeah. Where is it? It's a go-go-well-up. Okay.

Local prison makes good. Oh, you know what? It was on the list of the top ten businesses. 11 of the United. It's in the lower mainland. I don't know. It's, uh, yeah, so it's fun. It's a, it's a medium security, which bothers me.

Yeah. So they get smelly felt. Yeah, I guess so. Medium security. Yeah. Yeah. I know I'd still like less security. Yeah.

Yeah. You would? Yeah. Yeah. I don't. If I got sent to prison and they were like, you're going to a low security prison. I'd be like, hmm, that's fine for me,

but I think the rest of the guys should be high security. Although, you know, with prison, I feel like, yeah, you can't get out, but other people can't get in, too. Yeah, that's true. Sometimes I'm like, hmm, I'm not stuck in here with you. You're stuck in here with me. Yeah, yeah. I got some crazy exes.

I would be happy to not be able to have them come visit. Yeah. You're telling me if your ex went to prison, you wouldn't go visit. just to rub it in his face. Yeah. Thinking if you go to prison, all your exes are lining up. Yeah, they're going to be like,

we know what she is. Ha-ha-ha. Oh, sure. Are you feeling conjugal today? You can't get any lower than this now. No, you're still lower than prison. Yeah. I was,

there was this series of podcast, video podcasts that are like, you know, somebody like, I was in jail in foreign country or it was, somebody who went undercover with the the the biker gang and it's just like them answering questions and there was a guy that I think I feel like it must have been Thailand it was somewhere

was it beyond rangoon yeah it was broke down palace this wasn't broke down palace that's what I meant but the I think we have it pretty good in North American prisons I think so yeah yeah think like you know you'll go spend some time in another prison. You'll feel pretty good about what we got here at home. You miss your pillow. Yeah. Oh, God.

Yeah. No, I can't go to any prisons without it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, your hubby would send it in the mail. He would. Yeah.

Yeah, you'd come out and look like it. He's at a lot of gas. I got a new pillow. How often do you replace your pillows? Very infrequently. Yeah. If I find a good pillow, it's mine for life. Like, I will keep it until it's dissolved.

Yeah, like, I believe it was Tom Papa who said, if you have a pillow long enough, It looks like a Civil War bandage. Yes. I got one at, I was just at, what's that store that's not Uniclo? Moji. I was at Moji. I was just, it's such a weird store because they have a little bit of everything. Yeah.

Food, clothes, bedding. A lot of pens. Pens of plenty. Weird like, like, lucite, boxes that are for like $80 for some reason. And like there's something cool in them? No, it's like a little set of drawers for your glasses. Oh, that's fun.

Yeah, or your pens. Yeah, or your pens. And then I was like, oh, you know what? There's a $30 pillow. It looks fine. It's squishy in the way I like it. Maybe I'm going to try a new pillow. $30 isn't crazy.

And then I took it home and I think I soak through the whole thing. For some reason, it does not breathe at all, and it is just a, I wake up at 3 in the morning and I got to flip it over. Not because it's cooler on the other side, because it's dry. Yeah. Are you a cool, do you like a cool pillow? Yeah. Yeah. Why don't they just make cold pillows?

I think they must, right? Like ones that you plug in and it like. Are you put in the fridge? Oh, you're talking about a refrigerator pillow. A pillow full of frie on? Yeah. Oh, I see. It humps like a fridge.

Oh, that's dangerous. Hmm. I would love that. I love it, too. If anything where I'm, like, trying to sleep, if there's a constant noise, if it goes and fluctuates, I can't sleep. But if it's a constant fridge noise, air conditioner noise. You know, do you have a white noise machine? I do.

Yeah. Does it have other noises? Apparently brown is the hot noise these days. I thought it was pink. Pink noise. I mean, you read Cosmo? I read Maxim. Maxim's all about the brown.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I have a, like, a machine that I bought at a thrift store. And so it's had different sounds. Yeah. So it's got, br-er. Yeah. Oh.

What's your, what's your frequency of choice? The one I like is air conditioner. Ah. Yeah. Just like a solid white noise, brown noise, whatever. Do you have an air conditioner in the summertime? Yeah, but it's, we keep it in the living room area. Oh, okay.

Yeah. You can't just pipe in the noise from there. Probably could. Put a big, like, megaphone over it next to it. Those baby monitors. I was in Winnipeg in a hotel, and I had my, I will play it off my phone if I'm on the road. But the air conditioner was going all night long. Didn't even need it.

Just use the local air conditioner sound. I love an air conditioner in a hotel because it doesn't shut off. My air conditioner at home will shut off. Oh, really? When it feels like it's cool on? It's like, that's the right temperature. And then when it kicks me. back in. It's like, I'm like, oh, is this base, is it part of the house or is it like a portable

guy? Yeah, yeah, it's portable. I'm not boozy. I don't, I'm not, Dave, Dave turned on his air conditioning with his phone. That's wild. Yeah, I called a guy. He said, uh, Maurice turned on the air conditioner. That's amazing. And Maurice is a guy with a fan next to an ice block. That works too. Yeah. I tried that one summer. It does work. Does it work? I didn't feel like I didn't make it work. Wait, with an ice block? With a, with a, with a big thing. of ice, a big bucket of ice and a fan, both of cold air. Because in a cartoon, it is a giant

cube. Yes, that's true. And one time, another time I was in Winnipeg, two Winnipeg air conditioning stores on one podcast, the air conditioner only made cold air for like about a foot in front of it, so I moved the entire bed

across them, like put it right up against the air. Have you seen that Drake's big ice, ice, I didn't investigate. I didn't. I didn't. But I didn't care.

I just wanted to know where did he get all those big ass ice blocks? And also how did he, how was he allowed to do that? He's Drake. That's true. He's got, he's got. It's sort of like his city. Yeah. The six.

Yeah. Sorry Toronto. You're a Drake's city. Yeah. Wait, wait. Here's what. Okay. Aren't they like four, six or what's their actual area code?

401. Four one six. My bad. So they call themselves the six, but ours starts with a six. But no, it's not named after that. Oh. It's named after like the six families. No, it's like the six areas that together make up.

Oh, like Scarborough. I don't know. I can't go any further. It's got to be York. York's got to be one of them. All right. We're looking up. The six.

We have so many other things to look up too. What do we need to look up? There was something at the beginning that we were going to look up. So the six is a M-D. Night Shamelon movie. Oh, scary. Oh, wait. It's a popular nickname for Toronto, popularized by Drake.

Okay. It refers primarily to the six in the city's 416 and 6447 area codes. And the amalgamation of six former municipalities. Toronto, Scarborough, North York, Etobico, York, and East York. Wow. A lot of Yorks. I've never heard of East York. East York.

I also love Atobico. Yeah. What a great name. It is a great name. But that's Doug Ford country at Tobico. Is it? Yeah. That's where he's a monster popular.

Oh, I just know that. I only know it because they've got a really good swim team. Oh, they do? Yeah. How do you know that? I was a swimmer when I was growing up and the Atobico kids were always so fast. What was your, what was your stroke? I was a backstroker.

Backstroke. That's like the hardest of the stroke. That's the easiest one. You get to breathe the whole time. You get to kind of even, you get to look at that little flag thing. that runs along until you know. I'm almost at the end. Yep.

But I feel like I'm nervous the whole time about hitting the end. Well, there's the flags. So you don't know what they are. You know you're like, I'm this many strokes. Yeah, you know your stroke count from the flags. That's what the flags are for. So no, smacky, smacky head. But can you, do the flags for anyone doing other strokes?

No. I guess maybe breast you can. You can kind of see you. Oh, you know what's probably the hardest one? Butterfly is the hardest. I would say. Butterfly. And I was also a backstroker and then a distance freestiler.

So like 488. 800 free. Okay. And that was fun because you just sing a little song in your head, which my coach didn't like that I said that I did. But yeah. What song? Oh, it's just whatever.

I was in my head at the time. Okay. Usually, I think at that time when I was swimming for my university, it was like a lot of Nelly Furtado, man eater. Okay. That's a good swim song in your head. Yeah. And it's upbeat.

It is upbeat. Yeah. And it's very. Backstroke, you start in the water. Yes. Yeah. I don't dive backwards. Oh, that would be cool.

That would be cool. They should. Yeah. They should. They should. They should. It makes the Olympics more exciting. Yeah, yeah.

What breaststroke you don't. Your head never goes under, does it? It does. Does? Yeah, you do that. Yeah. Really? No, I'm not going to that hard.

Your head up breaststroke are? You're singing, man eater. I didn't even get my chin wet. Yeah, that's fair. I don't like swimming anymore. Did you do it your whole childhood? I did. Yeah.

My sister did. started doing it. She's four years older. And so I wanted to be just like her. So the second I was allowed to start doing swimming, I did it from like five. Katie Ellen. I know. I've known Katie Ellen's I was like eight years old. Yeah. She's a big swimmer. Oh, you knew her as a swimmer? Yeah. So she's my sister's age and she's from Victoria and my family's from here, Vancouver. And so whenever they would come here, they would stay with my family. Wow. I bill at it. So I've known Katie since. Yeah. So she was like 12. Yeah. And then she was also, I think my team at when I swam for you, Vic?

Oh, so you kept going. Yeah. You went all the way. Yeah, I was very good, though. I just remember the one thing that always sticks with me from Katie is when she stopped swimming. She realized how often regular people have to blow their nose. Yeah, and shower. And clean their ears.

Yeah. It's crazy. Or like, yeah, or that, did you know that your head sweats when you work out? I didn't know that until my 20s. Yeah, that's right. Coolant. Yeah. Now, we were saying before. of the podcast that I feel like every

sport or industry gets a movie that's like that movie What was the swimming fan? Swim fan I guess is really the only one. There's no good competition swim show because it's boring. It's a boring. You go back and forth a bunch of it. You stare at a line

on the... Yeah, but there was a lot of, I feel like a really good movie would be like the rivalry between the swimmers and the divers. Oh, do they have a rivalry? Oh yeah. And then the synchral swimmers who we hate, all we humanively hate. I, but we humanively hate because they're so annoying.

Because underwater, you just hear, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Where they're dancing to the beat underwater or whatever. But I remember coming out of... Man eat or make you hurt hard. Yeah, aerobic smilers. We hate them. And, but I remember coming into the team changing room at Sanich Commonwealth Games Bowl. And we were like icing our shoulders and we had just like a brutal practice.

And our coach was mad at us. So he made a swim. Listen up, ladies. Yeah. You'd like, sharp break a pencil and be like, you got to. sharp with your pen. I don't know. Yeah, he was weird. Yeah, he was crazy. And then the divers came in and they were like, yeah, we had a really hard practice too. Yeah, our coach made us jump on the trampoline for an hour. I was like, that is all my children do. How dare you? And they're like,

it was hard. They made us to his tiny little towel. Yeah. That's true. I forgot to wring out my shammie and it was crusty. Yeah. And then, yeah, the synchro swimmers. I never thought that they would be like... And the water polo people are all psychos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't fuck with the water pillow kids. They'll scratch your eyes right out. Yeah.

So you were spending, how many times a week were you in the pool? Like when I stopped swimming? One, two, three, four. Eight practices a week? It was eight days a week. Wow. Eight practices. There was doubles.

Yeah. Double days. Yeah, so usually Monday, Wednesday, and Friday you had doubles. Ish. And then just want to practice, just a morning or afternoon practice on a Tuesday, Thursday. Do you swim anymore? Not really. Last summer, I joined a master's swim team.

And I was like, yeah, this is, it's just like swimming for older people. Okay. I'm into it. Does the team compete? Or is it just? You can. You can send up if you want to. And I was like, ah, no competition.

Thank you. But it was very, it was just sad. I was like, well, it hurts to turn my neck now. I'm too old for this. What was the name of the team? Oh, the cook. Which one? The one, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, which ever one.

I swam for dolphins here. Okay. And then I swam for the Uvick. I also swam for Hayek when I was really young. Okay. In New Westminster. I don't know why we swam out there. Ours was Cascade.

Oh, yeah. The Cascades were good, too. Yeah. Oh, my friend swam in Nanaimo and they were called Nads. Oh. Okay. Here's still, I coached. Like, Nanaimo, something, something's swimming.

It's such a weird. The names they put on their caps, too. So Quitlam, they're on their caps. It just says COQ. So there's all these little kids running around with cock on their heads. Yeah. And I just always thought that was so. That was some insider baseball.

Yeah, sorry. Sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. I can't dive. Really? I can't dive. Really? I'll teach you. I'll teach you to dive on a trampoline for an hour. It's not hard.

Dive into, jump into a big thing of foam. Yeah, my body just doesn't want to do it. Do you mean like off the side of, to dive into the side of the pool or off a diving board? Either. I can't, I like, I'm not afraid to jump in the water, but I cannot die. Hands first. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I tried. And I did half of one and they were like, good enough to pass. We're not going to make you do it again. We know that it's really not that important. A survival skill. I mean, though, in movies, it's always people diving in headfirst to go rescue somebody. Yeah, you got it. It's way more efficient.

Yeah. I would start on the wall and go backwards. I'm going to backstroke to you. I don't know where you are. It's a gas blower for me. Somebody put a flag above their head. So did you hear this is a lot of local news. Oh, shit.

Oh. Beloved local companies. Yeah. No more parking with coins. And the other thing is they're downsizing the beaches are downsizing the amount of, I guess, the number of lifeguards. Yeah. Oh. And.

Because of budget or just not enough lifeguards? Because someone on the parks board got, was jilted. by a sexy lifeguard that boy crazy Stacy and then Peter Gabriel the British singer said that in 1983

he was opening for David Bowie and he went like windsurfing in you know at the beach here and needed to be rescued by a lifeguard so bring them back wait he was the one who got them back

Well, no, I think a lot of people sign a petition. I had pushed it over the edge. I would like to think that it was. How did that news make its way to him? You know, you put a Google for driving for lifeguards. I heard they're bringing all of them except for at this weird lake, trout lake, where you shouldn't swim anywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should be swimming in that lake anyway.

It's gross. Why are you swimming in that lake? You're like, dog swim at it. Yeah. Yeah. see my dog poop in that lake while swimming. Yeah. I would swim in that lake.

Sally introduced me to something I'd never heard of before called duck itch. And it sounds like that's the grossest. That seems like that would be in that. Yeah, in there. Yeah, yeah. You get duck it. Is it from duck feces? It's got to be, right?

Gross. Where part of your body gets itchy from? Probably wherever you're in the water, really. Yeah, your skin part of it. Now, you are, your day job is. Oh, I'm a speech language pathologist. And what's your favorite speech language? Oh, my favorite speech?

Like this one? Normal talking. Oh, normal. Okay. Normal human talking. Versus, I don't know. Can you help? What would you tell someone who maybe their tongue started growing because they were eating walnuts?

This is very personal. No, we talked about it the last time you were on. You've only been on once on Zoom, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah, it was on Zoom. Yeah, it was on Zoom. Because, yeah, you said when he came here, they'd never been. That's right.

And Graham does. Graham does a thing every year. Yes, I do. Called the 24-hour Ha-ha joke fest. What's it called? The 24 hours of comedy? Yeah, Graham Clark's 24 hours of comedy.

And that is happening on the... Tell me. The 22nd and the 23rd. Of May, at the Little Mountain Gallery. Yeah. If you're not in Vancouver, it'll probably be streaming. It's streaming. Oh, yeah.

And you know what? If you want to throw a little change there with, there's a little button that you can, yeah, donate towards the... It's incredible. And it's so good. But one of the things I know about this event is that you need 24 hours of physical and mental support and also vocal support. And so you go to your neighborhood speech and language pathologist. And what kind of advice do you give, Graham?

Oh, well, last year, was the first year we did it, I think. Yeah. And you really saved my bacon in two ways that I remember. first of all, your recommendation, no commercial style lozenges, that they're all garbage. They're garbage. Except, like, pure honey. Yeah. Yeah.

And now that's, that's me 100% of the time. You're just drinking honey. Just drink. I just, yeah, a spoonful of honey every morning. One in the morning, one at lunch. Yeah, I didn't recommend that. And then I bite into some honeycomb before bed. He's turned into poo bear.

Yeah, he's not wearing pants. And then you also gave me some, like, vocal warm-up. Some exercise. Me, me, me, me, mo, mo, ma-mo. That's the one. That's it. Yeah, no. That's not the one.

Yeah. And did it go well, like for you? Yeah, it went really well. I asked, I think. Yeah. When you say a vocal warm up, is that, like, right before you go on stage? Because you're on stage, you take break. When I did, when I did the break, I did the exercises to keep.

And constant fluids as well. Yeah, hydration, hydration. I have something new for you this year. Oh, I'm so excited. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I still, I think you should still prehydrate. This is my favorite thing to say if you have to prehydrate because when you take a sip of water.

Yeah. It takes 24 hours for that molecule of water to actually make its way into your cells in your body. So you have to, that might, okay, listen, if you're like a better scientist than me listening and you want to correct me on that number, I know it's a while. So you have. How long until my pee starts clear? Which always, that's the thing. I hear that and other doctors have told me this. And then, but I'm like, every time I have asparagus, I'm like, I think science has proved

wrong. Yeah, that's true. But I think it's just a matter of like it actually hydrating you. So like prehydrating. Yeah. Okay. So that you're really, so that you're set. Because you're going to be drinking water the whole time.

But that water is not going to help you until a little bit later on. Do you drink anything else? I drink beer for the first couple hours. Yeah. Just to loosen it out. Yeah. And then. When do you stop?

hour 20? Just that last stretch? I feel like that's when you need it the most. Yeah. To like keep everything. I think I, I think I switch to water and, and maybe coffee at,

like, midnight. And then you eat, but not like big, big meals. No, just like snack, banana, protein bar. Yeah. You'd be surprised how much that actually affects your voice.

Like, if you have a big meal in your stomach and then you go to talk, you probably know this from talking. Did you have a, big meal before this. You know what? It like hurts. It like pushes up on your stomach.

Why am I the expert on eating and talking? You were drinking a coffee right before. It was like, that's so bad for your voice. Oh, really? It's not great for you. But that's okay. It was a tiny coffee.

Oh, I still a caffeinated beverage. There's no caffeine in coffee. Well, just a teeny tini tini as espresso. So like you shouldn't eat a full meal. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, no. Oh, I'm fine. Yeah, I mean, you can. It's just that because you're talking and if you're laughing, it just puts pressure on your stomach and you're going to get reflux.

What's the biggest thing you eat in a 24 hours? Are you only snacking? Only snacking. I think maybe I ate some like a gluten-free croissant or something like that. Nothing bigger than that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Not like a party sub. Oh, I mean. This is the year. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to order you a party. I think the first year that I did it, which wasn't at Little Mountain, it was at a place called Havana. And people kept ordering footlong subs and making me eat it on stage. Really?

Yeah. They were like, oh, I thought we were doing the 24 inches of comedy. That's really not. That's two feet. Only an inch an hour? That's easy. Yeah. But, like, yeah, I'd finish one and then somebody else would send one up to the stage and they'd be like, like, sub, sub, sub.

And I did it every time. I really, yeah, commigilated. I know. I couldn't do it now. You're like just donate the money. That's true. Stop buying subs with this money. Adele, singer Adele,

did like four months of not talking. She had vocal surgery, though, didn't she? Yeah. Yeah. Graham, maybe you shouldn't talk for a while. No, whispering. You can talk. Is whispering good for you?

Whispering's really bad for your voice. That's what I thought. It's very tentations. What are the other, what's the worst thing for your voice? Screaming's up there, throat clearing. Ha-ham! Yeah, yuck. That's bad for your voice?

Yeah, it's really aggressive. It really gets the phlegm out. If you've had phlegm. Oh, okay. Some people are just doing it. Some people just like the, or it's like a tick or like a something or a habit, I should say. You know what's the worst name for doing that? Horking.

Horking is different. Because horking is, yeah, when you pull, I think. I don't know. How's horking for the voice? Is that okay? How's horking these days? I'm pro horking. No.

Now, listeners, sorry we didn't warn you about hark talk. I didn't think it had to be. It's usually around this time of the podcast we get at it. They're like, give me the hairy tumor, please. Her name was Amanda. Put some respect. Oh, Amanda. My twin, yeah.

My sister's Ashley. I'm a lanass. I was like, well, she has to have an A name. And I'm, I mean, this is a stupid question. You didn't get to keep it, did you? I tried, but they said, no. They said, no. They said, no.

Oh, okay. But, like, after the biopsy, sent it in my way. Send it in one of those tubes. That's why I got a picture. Yeah. I asked my mom if we could give her a birthday. And my mom was like, oh, that's weird. Well, the day that it came out would have been the birthday.

She, my mom did pick me up for my surgery. Oh, okay. It was like, I was like, that could have been your other daughter. But I ate her. In a moment of anger, does she say, you were the wrong one? Yeah. He should have Yeah, but maybe.

Yeah. See if I get her a good Mother's Day. Do you want to see what presents I brought you this? Yes. You brought us presents? Yeah, well, you can have some too, but Oh, okay.

You brought him presents. Yeah, voice presents, but you can try it. Oh, voice presents. Okay. Okay, so the first one is for reflux. Okay. So it's a sodium alginate product. So every time you eat,

take a teaspoon of that, it's like this weird gel pudding. Sodium for algernet. Sodium. Obex. Obex. It's a Canadian version. What do you do with it?

You eat it before? After, like half hour after eating. And it just helps keep your food in your stomach. So the acid doesn't come back up and irritate. Oh. You just called it reflux. Yeah. We used to call it acid reflux.

But now we're beyond that. Well, what if something, it can come up and not be acidic. It's just anything that comes out. Yeah, yeah. Any reflux material. Basic reflux. It could be acid reflux. Yeah, thanks.

Thanks for clarifying. You're so welcome. Okay. And then I brought you some straw, some more straws if you want. Yes. Oh, I have those. Yeah, these are good ones. Because of the straw exercise.

The straw exercise. What's the straw exercise? Oh, Graham, do you remember the straw? You, me, me, my, my straw. I have a cup. I can do it with mine. Yeah, so you put the straw in liquid and then you kind of do this like, kind of almost like a boo-oh kind of noise. Do you want to do it?

I need a bit more water. No, I don't need to do it. I just, no, no. Are you sure? Let's, yeah, you go for it. Okay, so you put the straw in the water. Yeah. And then you blow bubbles and you say who.

You say who? Who, like the sound in Alames. Oh. That's some good folly. And you go up and down a pitch. I did this one a bunch. It's a lot of fun. And you want to do this before or during?

You can do it before and during. I did it. Yeah, throughout that. Do you do any on stage? Sorry, guys. Maybe this year. I need to wobble, wobble. Yeah, just a good little reset for your voice.

Yeah. And it helped because at the end of the 24 hours, I did a short little interview, and I saw the video from that interview. And my voice was pretty good. Yay. Good. For 24 hours. Yeah, at 24 hours, you're probably still going to get some.

Yeah. It gets scratchy. Yeah. But this is supposed to help it. Nice. It does help it. But okay. And then this is new this year.

Okay. In addition to that. Okay. Oh. A mesh nebulizer. So like I said, hydration is really important. Okay. I went to high school with mesh nebulizer.

You did? Yeah. She was my prom day. She's probably rich now. What was your quote in the yearbook? I make things moist. So this is like a like a, it goes over your nose and mouth. It's like a.

Oh, wow. Like when you see someone getting oxygen on the side of a football field. Sure, but it's like, it's like, yes. And it's very, you put some saline in it. Okay. And then it helps you with surface hydration. Is that? It looks like moisturizer for your throat.

This is amazing. Yes. Sort of a throat coat. Yes, kind of, but less. Atlanta, this is so great of you. It's kind of a throat goat. Oh. That was what they called me in high school.

It's still what we call you. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's on every bathroom and every comedy club across the country. All right. All right. Wow, that's great. You're going to be swimming in the mesh nebulizations. You're going to be moist all night.

I'm going to be moist all night. Yeah, which is the goal. But it's like, thank you, I. Oh, no problem. That's why I asked if you have asthma. That's true. Yeah. It helps with.

Good for asthma. It is. Now, you are one of the writers for it. Yeah, I. What shift? I don't know. I think I might be 4 a.m. Yes.

Yeah. I want, I like, I like when it gets weird and late. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, like, no offense to the people who stick it out the whole time, but there's some weirdos to stick around the whole time. I mean that in the nicest way. Absolutely. Like this, I mean that.

You have to be. You're talking about audience. Yes. Yeah. And I like the ones that are still there at 4 a.m. Because sometimes they're like, I have to go to work, but I'm not going to. Or you're like, who doesn't have a job? Well, it's also Saturday.

Saturday. Sure. But I don't know. But it's. There was a woman that was there the full 24 hours. And the next day she had surgery. That's. Surely the doctor would be like, don't stay up 24 hours.

Graham, she was the surgeon. I have. surgery after this. They're really going to stay away. I have to operate on my son, believe it or not.

He's the kid from the riddle. I can operate on my boy. Dave, what's going on with you? Okay. There we go.

I don't really know what's going on with me. We are recording this. It's just one of those things. That's a boy

thing you wouldn't understand. Yeah. Um, Oh, here's the thing. Okay. So a few weeks ago, I talked about, Instagram advertised to me a $300

house, garden hose. Yeah. And it was only seven foot long, was it? No, it was, it was 25, 50? That's a long hose. Yeah, that's a good size hose. What's your hose situation at your house? I have a 30 foot.

30 foot. Okay. And I thought that was interesting. And then I got a message in my Instagram from someone saying, hey, Dave, I heard you talking about this hose. It's my company that makes this hose. Oh. I'm going to send you a hose. Oh.

That's amazing. You can hook it up to your mesh nebulizer. Hell yeah. Let me take this point to say, Spence Diamonds. I'm interested in your biggest, your biggest, juiciest diamonds that you have. Anyways. You know what a McDonald's? subscription?

I could only eat the fries. Yeah. It's good. Never mind yet. We're not a milkshake. Oh, yes. You could have a little. You could do $50 for the milkshakes.

You're damn right. I could. Maybe I'll have a milkshake tonight. Yeah. Yeah. And so I got sent this hose. The brand is Goodland. Okay.

Shadow Goodland. Shout out Goodland. Squirt, squirt. What a smooth spray from this hose. Did you get it yet? I got it. Okay. Where it's, oh, the spray action on this thing is divine.

Wow. You wouldn't believe it. And you hooked it up to Mike Rocketile Mile. Yeah, I was just going to say, are your kids out of the zone of sprinkler running through sprinkler and summertime? Yeah, sprinkler in summertime is too cold. It's cold. Yeah. Yeah.

I like it. Well, I love it. But also not supposed to do it this year, which is so sad. That's true. You're not supposed to sprinkle your yard, your lawn. You can sprinkle your vegetables. And your children? You can sprinkle your children.

Can you fill up a super soaker? You can fill up a super soaker, I think. You just can't do, like, they just don't waste water. Yeah, like running a sprinkler for hours on end in the morning. And I, for one, think that is fair. Yeah. Also, I remember somebody from Scotland or England remarking on how much water we have in our toilets. And that they said, like, it's a gigantic amount of water compared to the UK toilets.

And I was like, ever since I've been like, it is a lot. lot of water. Is it? You can change that. Yeah, but I feel like the standard is like a lot. A lot. Yeah, but sometimes I look at the toilet water and I think if there was an earthquake, this is, I would drink this.

Yes. Yeah. So it's also a little supply. Well, I wouldn't because I've got a good land hose. So that's one of the things going on with me this week. Been a really busy week. Another thing that's going on with me As I was

I saw a garbage truck Fun? Fun for a little boy? Yeah, yeah. I run out every morning. You wave? Watch them. But I saw a garbage truck And it was backing up

And it was doing that sort of You know when an electric car backs up And it just goes Yeah, yeah And I thought, oh, that's super cool That I guess they now make electric garbage trucks. Sure.

But then I also thought, you still got a beep. Yeah, that's true. For safety, it's got to be a beep. We can't just have the... We had no beep, just the... Just the... Yeah, the white noise, the brown noise machine. My apartment faces out into the alley.

What of you. What of you. I pay extra for the view. And there's a like 90 degree turn that everybody has to make. And I'm like blown away how these guys are able to make this tight corner in like dumpster truck, giant garbage truck, recycling truck. Yeah. And not like backing up and they like get it right, you know, within, you know, less than a

foot. They're quickly too. Yeah. Yeah. These guys are artists. Do you think that they, when they hit things, they tell people or do they just drive away? I tell people. You tell you watching.

Yeah. Oh, and this here's another thing I saw in the alley. I put out, I leave the cans out for can collectors. And also I'll get like a glass. bottle from, what is, Avalon, Avalon milk. Hey, send me some milk, Avalon. Why weren't they on your list? Yeah.

You get some holes. I like chocolate. I like chocolate milk. I'll tell you why. They're Chinese. Oh. They're not Canadian anymore. That's right.

They're a part of a multinational. Oh, that's heartbreaking. But you can get a lot for returning these bottles. So I leave them out. I don't. And then I saw a couple, just a couple wearing mountain equipment co-op and walking their dog pick them up. I nearly yelled out of the way to,

for you. Oh. Hey, you, Gortex doofuses. Someone's going to clip me saying they're Chinese. I just mean they're literally

not Canadian. Yeah, yeah. It's not a Canadian company. They still make it here. They still Canadian cows. No,

they fly in Chinese cows. Oh, no. They fly them. Fly them. First class. They have good ice. I get these, yeah, they're good company.

They do have a good ice cream. They do. I get these ads on my, not ads, like videos in my Instagram feed in my algorithm of people playing like 18 wheeler truck simulators. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And they're making all the turns and going in reverse. I'm very, very bad at any of that kind of stuff.

And have over the years had jobs where I've had to drive. nothing bigger than like a milk truck, but even that's pretty hard to negotiate around a Or it's a parallel park. Oh, I had to drive a U-Haul van once and it was scary. I hated. I can't.

I mean, I have a SUV and I'm that I don't drive that well. So I know people are like, I'm winning drivers. Yeah, but you know what? Man drivers too. All drivers.

Yeah. It's hard. Driving's harder. All drivers go to heaven. You know what I've learned from, so moving out of the city. and having to commute a lot, so many people pick their nose as well driving.

Interesting. It is because you're invisible when you're driving. In your glass cage. Yeah. So many nose pickers. That's interesting. It's rampant. Yeah.

I mean, and you know what? You're taking your life into your hands because if you have to stop suddenly, that thing's going right in your brain. Oh, right to your brain. Yeah, I see a lot of people. There's one place when I'm coming home from dropping off the kids. there's one like intersection where I just see people lined up and every one of them is looking down up and down at their phone. Yeah.

And I always give them a little toot. Yeah. Hey, I see you. Yeah. But if someone's picking their nose, fine. Fine with me. Yeah, but that's distracted driving. What if they get a big one?

Oprah made people take the no nose pick, make the pledge. It's so gross. It's, uh, yeah, driving is crazy. It's a crazy. thing that humans do. It really is. Yeah, like you're flying around it so fast. Well, yeah. Even like, even if a car's

creeping along and it hit you, the amount of damage it would do. The times when you're like, oh, what do I do? Should I speed up really fast to get around this guy or just let him go ahead? Like, the fact that you have to make that decision is insane. And that you could do it. You could floor the car and like,

oh, I could do it, baby. And you don't drive. You're not, Graham's No, I drive. You do drive. Yeah, but I try to limit it because I, like, I'll drive between here and the suburbs, but driving around the city if I don't have to. Yeah. Well, yeah, why would you? But I, why did I think you don't drive?

Because I didn't forever. Big bus my energy. And because he got a big, like, although I haven't been on a bus forever because I'm right near a train. Yeah. And I'll just do a lift or an Evo. Oh, a-vo. Yeah. Avo?

Avo. Although I did recently, I got on a bus and it felt like old time. Yeah, it still smells the same. Still smells the same. Getting the seat. Oh, hard. Yeah, hard, but the best. Hard.

Yeah. But rewarding. On a warm day and it's like 10 degrees warmer on the bus. No one's wearing deodorant that day. Oh, no. Yeah, that's another thing. Everybody, come on. And that's okay.

I just picked out my summer deodorant. Yeah, what flavor? Usual. Summer Cres, Ocean Man. Same one I get all the time. Ocean Man. Trident Spear fishing

Yeah you get Trident 4 to 5 dentists recommend it for my armpits Yeah Ocean breeze It's the same

Whatever I've been wearing Those 13 Is that old Old Spice? Right guard Right card Old Spice was not a thing

Like when I was a kid Old Spice was just a An after shave A cologne For Grandpas Yeah And then they

Revitalize their campaign And then Did they? And there was just a wall of it now. And there was one, when I was at the drugstore yesterday, they had like Mario and Luigi flavor. There's like two separate flavors of spaghetti and meatballs. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you guys remember the gel? Like they used to one that would. So there was a deodorant that, so my, deodorant usually comes in like a, what would you call? A stick. that's like a bit gooey. Yeah. Or in a chalky white. Yeah.

That's I'm using a chalky. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't chocky white a character from... That was my junior teacher. But then they had this one that was, I think it was Gillette, which is, as far as I'm concerned, the best of man can get. And it was like this goo inside and you cranked it. up, the goo came through holes. It was very satisfying.

I have that one. That's one I have. You use the gel? I use the gel when I, if I know I'm going to, like, if I'm going on like a hike or something, I'll use this. You current day using the gel? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know they made the gel. I found it just wasn't, uh, it didn't adhere to my armpits well.

It also was very good at ruining shirts. It, oh, really? What was it due? Uh, it turned them, uh, like a shade of yellow that you don't want. Oh, that's why all my armpit holes are yellow. Yeah. Oh, but I don't stink. So.

No. And I mean, the crazy thing is, like, because remember they would always say aluminum's in it or whatever? I found a shirt from high school at my parents' house. And in the armpit, silver, similar little bits of it in the armpit. Yeah. Really? Yeah. So it's like, there really is. Yeah, you can wrap your leftovers that. That's incredible. You can roast a salmon in there. Fantastic. Anyway, I heard a truck back up. What's up with you? Got a free hose and heard a truck back up, big week. Well, my two things.

I was in Winnipeg, the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. And I usually, the kind of the system is the weekend. Totally fuck. Yeah, man. And I'm putting it on track. The festival will be, you know, Friday night, big part. party time, Saturday night, big blowout. Yeah.

And then Sunday night, very quiet. And then you fly out Monday morning. It's not this time. I got a 10 o'clock p.m. flight on the Sunday. So did you have a show earlier that day? Yep. Had a show in the afternoon. And then I was like, okay, I don't have my hotel room.

I've got a gap of time where I'm functionally homeless. And I was like, okay, how do I feel this? The city is yours to discover. Exactly. I left my suitcase at the hotel desk. and then what did I do? I went to where everybody else was hanging out and I got drunk.

Yeah. Did they, wait, did they just? Were they getting drunk? Yeah. What time of the day was this? Like, 4 p.m. Oh, sure. Beautiful, beautiful.

Yeah, 4 or 5 p.m. And so I just drank and then the hours just fly by. Yeah. And you had to catch us 10 p.m. 10 p.m. flight. So I'm at the airport. I get there for eight. I get through.

security in under four minutes on a Sunday night. Yeah, not a big fly time. And then... Did you continue drinking? I didn't continue drinking. It's like, there's nothing quite as bad as having a drink. I would never drink on a plane or just before because you're creating a bathroom situation. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. It's really just like, yeah, not... I might drink before if I'm, if it's at night and I'm like, maybe I'll fall asleep if I'm a little bit snoozy. But here's the thing. The opposite was the case for me. I always can fall asleep on a plane. Not this time. Because the alcohol kept me up.

Do you fly back at 10 o'clock from Winnipeg, you land in Vancouver at 10 o'clock? 11 o'clock, quarter of 11. And by then I feel like I had really sobered up. I could have driven a truck. I could have backed it up. And then at 11 o'clock, you're like, hmm, I could really go for some milk. Yeah. The night is young.

You ever hear someone say the night is a puppy? No. sucks. Why not? That's a good saying. Night is a puppy. I think it means the night is, yeah. Cute.

I've started accidentally saying, that's a clown of your own design because I mixed it up. Like, not my circus, not my monkeys. Okay. What is that? Not my problem. Not my problem. Like, I can't control that. Not my monkeys.

Can't control it. Yeah, but that's a clown of your own design. Like when somebody does something and then it's like the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the something eating your face. The tigers, it's like tigers eating your face, but it's, I don't know.

What's tigers eating your face? Sure. Well, what is that? Some jungle cat eating your face. Well, that is a different. It's similar though, but you get it.

Is it a horse of a different color, would you say? Yeah, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a cat of a different stripe. It's,

yeah, a clown of your own design. It makes no sense, but it does. Yeah. I like it a lot. If you just start, I just, please.

You can have it. No, I want everybody to start saying it. But like you can be, You can be your thing that you're like, you know who came up with this. Yeah. I want to say Alana. Alana Brittany. She doesn't have a Wikipedia page.

But if she did, that would all, that would be the only thing on it. How do you know you don't have a Wikipedia page? My manager told me. Someone keeps taking it down. If anybody listening knows how to make a Wikipedia page, please take one for me so they stop harassing me. Yeah, I don't. Oh, hello. Big Ding.

Yeah. The people over at Wikipedia, they're good people I donate every year. What's his name, Jimmy? Yeah. Yeah, I keep me any to cancel my monthly donation. But you're keeping them afloat. Yeah. Are they part of Wiki feet, do you think?

I wonder if they get a piece of Wiki feet. The guy who owns it is with Jimmy Wiki. That's true. Everything Wiki is him. Everything is Wiki is him. WikiWiki. Are you guys on Wiki feet? Are our feet on it or are we regular visitors?

I would say both. Two part question. No. No, I don't. I think the one time I went on it was because a woman I heard on a podcast said that her feet were on it. And so I was like, how does that work? I must see these toes. I think you, I think I answered it when you started taking your shoes off when you got here and I was like, keep your shoes off.

But that for Dave, that's like, it's the suspense. Exquisite. He wants to draw them. I want to earn it. He wants to draw them. I want to imagine them for a while. Yeah, yeah. They've all got smiley face, big toe.

How was Winnipeg? It was good. Did you go to that sad mall? It's close. They're tearing it down. Bordish Place Mall. Portage Place. Yeah.

Bordish Place Mall is... Oh, sad. It's going to be built. It's going to be social housing and stuff like that. Yeah. That's good. But it really was Canada's saddest mall. It was the only place I ever saw, Joey's only in a food court, which is a fish and chips.

Oh. In the Western Canada fish and chips, I guess. Most beloved BC Company I wonder what the most beloved Alberta companies are

Pumbo's Absolutely up there Pizza 73 Do you have Smitty? Do you guys have Smitties? Oh yeah Big Smitties country The

Yeah So the mall was being torn down Which was huge And it was good It was good It was fun The The liquor store situation

Is like Trying to get into a high-end nightclub Like you have to hand over your ID and there's like a little cubicle you have to stand in. Weird. Because they were getting so many smashing grabs.

Sure. So they were, so now you can only go in and, uh, so I'm in the system. I'm in the system now. See, I just don't want to be on a list. I don't want the government going to like, I had alcohol. What kind of bruise you buy? Yeah. Yeah, what did I buy?

Was it an un-alcoholic? And I enjoyed it. It was non-alcoholic? No, sorry, non-glutin. I was going to say, it was cold an alcohol. Imagine getting a, go to a liquor store to buy gluten free non-alcoholic. Just go get a pop.

Yeah, yeah. Go to set. And then one of the parties I was like, they had beer. I was like, you can't have beer, but then they had white claw. And then halfway through drinking it, I realized it was a non-alcoholic white clas.

I was like, oh, come on. That's the worst part of the white claw is the non-alcoholic part. Yeah. And it's, it was also very, very sweet like a popsicle. Yeah, very, very sweet. Have you guys had the cutwaters before? No.

No, what's that? I haven't had it. It's like, it's another. alcoholic beverage in a can. Is it available in this country? Yeah, it is. And it's apparently incredibly strong. Oh, I'm pretty strong, too.

But you don't realize it. And then you drink it and you're like, oh, no, I don't know what happened to my left arm. I'm pretty strong, too. I could probably wear three or four of those period devices. Yeah, yeah. I would, we're going to, what we're going to do is we're going to give you five cutwaters. We're going to slather your body in electrodes. I'm going to look up cut water because it can't be that strong.

Like, there's got to be laws. Ha! Yeah, a lot of smalls. Maybe for a canned beverage, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a heavy dose. Oh, yeah. I don't know. But I've, all I've heard is that people are like. Cut water, lime margarita.

Single can. 12.5. That is a lot. That is a lot. That is a lot for a little regular size can. No, that is quite a bit. Wow. Yeah.

Maybe that's what I'll. Yeah. I'm going to, uh, um, friends art opening this year. And you know they'll just have beer wine. So I'm sneaking. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You got bringing in some cut water.

See what happens. Report back. Yeah, I will. See if they have it at the, oh, they got out on a BC Liquor's website. Yeah, where to buy here. It's available at 186 stores in the province. Oh, yeah, BC Liquor was one of the most beloved.

Oh, as it should be. Yeah, absolutely. Shout out to the BCGEU. A big union head. Yeah. And the other thing I did this week is I watch. Oh, don't clear it though. Yeah, damn it.

You have 24 hours ahead of you. I watched a four-part. art documentary on one of our past favorite subjects, Hulk Hogan. Oh, yeah, the Netflix one? He's so handsome when he was young. Oh, really? You thought he was a handsome? I mean.

His wife was such a babe. What? Yeah, holy. Like when he started wrestling. Like, yeah. Yeah, no, like even late, he started kind of in the late 70s. There's something about that mustache. Even though it was creepy and makes me go, there's something about it.

Yeah. Yeah. He, in his early days, because his name's Terry, and he's called Terry the Boulder, and he had chest hair and stomach hair that was shaved into a tea. And you're not used to seeing Hulk Hogan with any, he picks the whole body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Smooth boy. His wife was the one who introduced him to tanning.

He never knew anything about tanning before he met her. And it was, the documentary was really, it was really good. And did you watch it? I haven't finished it yet, but yes, they started. What air are you at? Early, first. First. I'm not halfway through the first one.

So this was the last interview he ever did was for this documentary. Even at the end, they're like, they, you can hear the director saying, like, okay, well, we'll contact you in about three months. Yeah. We'll do some pickups and then he didn't, he didn't make it. Sorry to ruin it for you. No, no, I know he died. Yeah, the first thing in it is his funeral. Oh, wow.

Yeah. So, so that, you know, that the documentary. He knows. Who gave the eulogy? Vince McMahon did a big speech and he's... Oh, he's looking rough. He's old. Yeah, he is old.

It's allowed. Yeah, absolutely. And Holkogen? Still pumping iron. He's in his 70s. Hulk Hogan? Alcogen. He's dead.

Well, in the documentary. He's still pumping iron? Up in heaven. Yeah, in the 70s now. He's dead. He melted those pearly gates. Turn him into a barbell. Yeah, that's right.

He's up there lifting weights with, I was going to say, Cheryl Schwarzenegger, he's still here. Who's a guy who's a who's a guy who lifted weights, Charles Atlas? Oh, sure. Corey Hart. Corey Hart. Isn't he?

Yeah. Which was Brett Hart? Brett Hart. Bradhart. Yeah. Yeah. Coriard. Yeah.

They wore sunglasses. They both wore sunglasses. Reddardt's still alive, but Owen Hart is dead. Owen Hart. Oh, and Hart. Why there's so many hearts? Well, they had a whole foundation. Yeah, there was the hearts.

The Heart family from Calgary. Yes. Yes. Most beloved Alberta Company, the hearts. It would be. What is. Oh, I'm trying to think of that old guy who was like the muscle men from the 50s. Oh, the guy that could, he like towed a boat.

Yeah, and then he like had a juicer. Jack Lorlane. Lilane, yeah. You remember Jack La Lane? No, I don't know. No, I don't. But I remember George Foreman and his grill. Yeah.

Same. Yeah. Same, same. Same. Same. I have a bad memory. Okay. So this Holococon documentary, very well done.

Mm-hmm. And it, like, it was very even. There were people who said, like, what a jerk. And he wasn't, like, as a wrestler, he wasn't very good at it. He kind of did, like, six moves. And that was. He was a personality higher. He was a personality, yeah.

Did he, I don't remember. Was he, like, ever a champion? If he lost the championship, it was right back in his possession, not but a year later. And I don't remember. Did he ever wear any? do rag on his head. My favorite thing about it. When it first happened years and years ago, I thought it was very funny too.

He's famous for his red and yellow bandanas, but then he had to go to court and he wore black bandana. This is my business bandana. Well, it was his, didn't he have an era where he had a dark beard? He died his beard black. Yeah, Hollywood years. Did he wear black bandanas then? Yeah, but they said Hollywood on it.

This was just a plain black business bandana. I didn't say Hollywood. It should have said business. It's hard Yeah Instead of Hollywood It said The Hague

The Hague Ogan My heels This is healed This is good That's great Yeah And Good guy

Yeah Not Not like Not a bad guy But like The whole His whole Stick

When I was a kid was vitamins, prayers, exercise. And in the early 80s, like he was, everybody was just so, doing so much cocaine and doing so many steroids. And, uh, was he still praying? Uh,

that no, that he wouldn't get caught. Um, but, uh, at one point, Bradhart was interviewed for him. Bradhart hates all cocaine.

And it was really funny to hear him talk about it. One of the things, and I, I guess I knew this, uh, somewhere. my mind, but they cut promos, right? And

they showed how Hulk Hogan had kind of his appeal was waning, so they brought in the ultimate warrior. He became the guy that they were going to replace him with. And you see these promos, and he's like crazy in his promos? The ultimate war? Yeah. He's just like,

I can breathe the fire of a thousand dragon. But they showed when they would cut, when he would screw up. And it was just like, Oh, damn it. So you'd be like, I am the deep. Okay, take him, take it for the top.

Oh, good. Yeah. And I thought that was very endearing. Oh, well, peek behind. Is he dead? Oh, yes, very much. Yeah. Everyone's very much dead.

Yeah, either alive or you're dead. I mean, are there any wrestlers in comas right now that are maybe like a little dead? I feel like the Rock's career as a wrestler's dead. Well, and that's a big, that was a big story point, is Hulk and the Rock, uh, Hulk losing to the rock and passing on the torch. Oh, wow. But he wrestled so much longer than you're supposed to wrestle for. You're supposed to wrestle until you're maybe like 35 at the outset.

He was still wrestling like in his 60s. That's silly. It was silly. Yeah. And it was. You loved it. He did. He loved it, but his back was not very good.

Yeah, I feel like that's how you get addicted to Pangulus. Yeah. And he said, oh, they showed, there was a thing where he's at his doctors and they showed. This is a normal spine, and they showed his spine, it was zigzagging all over the place. Ah, you know, that's cool. His big finishing move, he does the atomic leg drop, which involves him, like, landing on his tailbone, which he did every night for, you know, probably 40, 50 years. So he said that was his biggest regret picking that as his finishing move. I would have picked the nap.

Yeah. His tailbone must have just been ground down. Like, I grind my teeth at night, and they're like, I got to get them. And that's only been in a couple of years. He has to wear a tailbone guard. Yeah, well, had to. Rest in peace. Yeah, well, he was buried with it.

Yeah, oh, that must have just, yeah, had no more bone. Absent from the documentary? Brooke Hogan. Nowhere in the documentary. Is Nick Hogan alive? Yep. Okay. They showed scenes of him and his dad working out together.

Oh, good. Yeah. You know, his ex-wife, his first ex-wife, second-wife, not in it, third ex-wife, or widow in it. But all look the same. Yeah, tan lays with blonde hair. Blonde hair. Yeah. Too much makeup.

And then she, his first wife, she dated a guy that looked like Young Hulk Hogan. So they really had a type that, why don't get back together, you guys? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe one day. But yeah, it's a ride, that documentary. and I can't recommend it enough.

Put on your favorite bandana, sit down, and you have a big bowl of vitamins. With, you know, a little butter on top. Well, guys, should we move on to some overheards? Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. Thank you to all the MaxFund members

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Maria Bamford on parking. I parked in a bus stop. That's just not right. I am not a bus. Roxanne Gay on airports. My favorite airport is Indianapolis. It has a really smart layout. Alan Tudick on yardsticks. You hand somebody a yardstick. Yardsticks become part of the family. Granted, it's a weird idea, but it's lots of fun, and it works.

Listen, wherever you get podcasts. Overheard. Overheard's a segment on the show. One of the greats, one of the all-time greats. If you overhear something, we want to hear it too. And if you want to send us one way, send it to SBY at maximumfund.org. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yes, I suppose I do.

Well, this is just an overseen. And I was walking my dog. Oh, a listener stopped me walking the dogs and said, hey, are you, Dave? Nice. Aw. Is that none of your business? No, I'm Dave's twin. It's with all my hair and teeth and whatnot.

You tried to eat me, but he couldn't. But on that walk, hello listener, I think he then commented, oops, I forgot to introduce myself. Oh, okay. I want to say Ben. Hey, Ben. Hey, Ben. Or Derek or Jeff or Kirk or Chuckie. Now, then a block after I saw that guy, I was walking the dogs, and I saw someone driving around in a roundabout.

And I looked into her car and I noticed she had stacked. in her cup holder, just empty coffee cups stacked all the way up to the roof and then bending back towards it. It was like a wizard stick. It was like a hoarder. Okay, how come when men do it with beer cans,

it's a fun party? Yeah. And when women do it with coffee cups, it's a hoarder. You're right. It's a double standard. Just bring your own cup from home. That's what I do. We got to run right here.

Clean canteen. Clean canteen. From all of us here at Clean Canteen. If anybody at Clean Canteen wants to send me a new coffee money. Yeah, his old was looking pretty rough. Yeah. Now, my overheard. If you're from the Stanley Corporation, be like, we can now do Clean Canteen.

Yeah, the good people at Yeti. Yeah, the Naljean folks. So this, this is a bit, this is not an overseen, but a bit of communication that harker. back to a past episode. We were talking about this on an episode, and I sent an email to do an inquiry to find out how much a John Mellencamp painting cost.

So we were talking with Colt Cabana? Yeah. Was that last week? Yeah. Singer John Mellencamp, sucking on, chili dog. Jack and Diane. Has a big, is a painter and paints thousands of paintings, many of which are self-portraits.

Yeah. And they're not bad, like they're good as far as it goes. God is 10,000 hours of painting self-portions. He's read their artist. So the lady got back to me. I thought it was going to be an email like, if you have to ask, you can't afford it. Oh. But it wasn't.

She sent an amount for how much the one that I selected was. And let's just see here. What do you think? John Mellicamp original. Okay. So this was, how big? Oh, that's a good question. I didn't, I don't remember how big it was, but they, what did it look like?

It was him. It was a picture of himself. Self portrait? Yeah, self portrait. What was it called? Johnny Boy. I don't, I don't remember. Okay, because if it was like, they're all, you know, on the website.

Yeah. I picked one very much at random. I picked one that I kind of liked, and it was a self portrait. Is it in, I'm guessing, like, not a, not a crazy amount of money. It's pretty crazy. It is. You said it, I thought you said it wasn't crazy. Oh.

No, no, it's crazy. Oh, okay, it is crazy. It's not like you can't afford it. No. You can't afford it. I can't afford it. Okay. That's what I thought maybe.

No, no, I can't afford it. Okay. So then it is in, is it five figures? It is five figures. Oh, he cheated. Oh, five figures. Five figures. That's a lot.

I didn't know we were like being very competitive. No, no, no. Yeah. Winner takes all. Okay. You're swimming. competitor instinct. I know.

It's deep in there. I'm going to say it's $20,000. Your vote is $20,000. What do you think, Alana? Remember what five figures. Yeah. I'm going to say 11,821. Okay.

American. This is an American funds as well. We are talking about $27,500. Wow. $27,500. for a John, original John Mellencamp. Holy. That's more than the one I saw on Antiques Road Joe.

Yeah, $27,500. Shoot. You know, he wrote little pink houses. That's true. But if you bought that now, would that be an investment piece, do you think? Because he's still alive. Yeah, if he does something spectacular, you know, saves a baby or something like that. I don't know what makes, I mean, does.

Dying is one of the things. That's what I was thinking. What if you walked into someone's house and their wall was just covered with, like, paintings by. John Melanchette, Jim Carrey. Yeah. And photos by Brian Adams.

Paintings by George Bush. Photos by Brooklyn Beckham. Oh my. Or that cat, that one, that cat who's named is Merv on the internet. Murr's does it? Doesn't he?

Merv does paintings. From Bagagua? We have Bacagua. I don't know what the, I don't know what you guys are saying. Merv is a talking cat. Oh, fun. Charles.

He loves Charles. He makes a lot of weird noises. He doesn't like his underpants being packed up. You need to watch it. This is a cartoon? No, this is a live cat. It's a live cat. It's very good.

You like cats? I do, sure. I wave at them. Hi, cat. Take it easy, I say. Yeah. Well, I didn't know Merv's painting now. I thought Merv.

Merv. Merv. Merv. Merv. Yeah, because my dog is Merv. Murf. Yeah. Yeah.

Good name for a dog. Thank you. Now, we also have overheards from people who've sent them in to us. And if you want to send one in, you can send in it to SBY at maximum fun.org. And this first one comes from Linda and Los Angeles. Los Angeles, Linda, they call her. Tell them Linda, ain't you? To Los Angeles.

My husband and I were having breakfast in a neighborhood diner at the back, above the background chatter. I heard a woman near me say to a dining companion, never known him not as a werewolf. Yeah. Who were we thinking? Michael J. Foxx. He would be the bigs. Who played, like, all the classic monsters?

Lon Chaney. Did Lon Cheney do them all? I think he did. I think he was Wolfman. Jack Nicholson was Wolfman. Yeah, Benicio del Toro was a wolf. Yeah, but Teen Wolf is. still the best.

Yeah. Or what about the guy from, uh, true blood? He was a wolf. Troy blood. True blood. And Twilight. Oh, maybe.

Was true blood vampires? True blood was vampires, but there was werewolves. There was werewolves. Same with Twilight. Was Twilight, um, uh, Taylor. Lottner. That's who she's talking about. Probably Taylor Lottner.

Oh, yeah. Because I've never known him as anything but a werewolf. I've known him as shark boy or lava girl. Oh, interesting. Oh, what is a shark boy? Well, I think he was Shark Boy? Yeah, because Michael J. Fox. Yeah.

He could be Alex. He wrote around on the roof of a van. That was pretty cool. The guy pulled his pants down in the lesson. Marty McFly. Yeah, he could have been Marty McFly. He's a lot. He's more prolific.

He's Doc Hollywood. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was a pretty good movie, Doc Hollywood. I saw it like within the last 10 years. And I was like, look, he could carry a film, no problem. He's charming as it gets the secret of my success. That was great.

Mm-hmm. Check out your local Michael J. Fox. Sorry, I apologize. You're going to have to do four months of vocal rest. This not, next one comes from Galen W. No. Yeah, Galen W. in Texas. Oh, okay, not Galen W in Canada.

And buy low foods. A less problematic, Gailen W. Recently my wife, while praising the merits of a good old roast chicken. This is from Texas. guys, you keep that woman. She's... She attempted to put a new, personalized spin on an old classic, and it came out like this. Give a man, a woman, a chicken, and you'll feed them for life.

You're the architect of your own clown. Is it a clown of your own design? A cloud of your own design. Yeah. What did you say, the architecture of your clown? of your own architect? This last one... What was hers feed a chicken?

Give a man, a woman, a chicken, and you'll feed them for life. You put the ums in there and the ahs, everything. Yeah, it's a fish. Yeah, give a man a fish. A chicken is... Tell them shut up. Give a man a chicken. I guess you could feed him for life if there's eggs.

Oh. You give a chicken, then you get eggs for life. But if you roast a chicken, that's just one time of chicken. That's right. Okay, okay. Huh. She's wise. When you...

This is too grisly to ask, but... When you kill the chickens, there's an egg in there? Uh, it's probably eggs in there. Oh, yeah. Like, the egg is a pretty significant size for the size of the chicken, right? Yeah. So, like... I mean, you've got to take out all that stuff anyways.

When you're, when you're making a chicken. I've never thought of that before. Like, how... Like, there might be an egg in... Is it? Are they making it? Are they laying an egg a day? And if so, at what point is the egg tiny and at what point, how long does it take an egg? Yeah, what's the gestation of the egg?

Are they like a week's where the eggs in different growth? Oh, yeah. Like you're saying if you're, if you're killing a chicken, you might get a bonus egg. I feel like they just, I don't think they kill the ones that make the eggs because they're the making egg ones. Oh, that's interesting. I would think if you got your eating chickens and your egg chickens. Right. They probably don't mix and match.

I don't know. This is my ignorance. I'm not farm people. I'm not even backyard chicken people. Yeah. You know what? It's our time to just listen. Someone sent Dave a chicken.

Let me a chicken, but don't do it because there's foxes in the neighborhood that'll get them. But you have all that grain on your patio. Well, I got to move the grain from one. And I don't know how. I'm going to do it. It's complicated. This last one comes from Jason and Halifax. Our three...

The worst Friday of the 13th movie. Yeah, he kills somebody with a lobster. I mean, he would still do a machete. Yeah. But you'd definitely kill a guy who's eating lobster. A guy eating a donair. This is our... This is a kid-said the darndest variety.

Our three, soon-to-be four-year-old son, was digging in the garden and pulled up a worm. Pulled up a lobster. They're everywhere in Alibank. He pulled up a worm, holding it gently in his palm, he said to himself, Aw, you have no mama. You're home alone, too, lost in New York. Oh. Oh, that's so cute.

It's so sad. It's so true. Oh, you have no mama. Truly, home alone too. Lost to New York. Maybe the room had two dads. I mean, yeah. There's so many famous orphans in movies.

That kid has a mama. In addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls, and your phone calls are also accepted by your... We also accept your voice memos. If you want to send us a voice memo, send it to SPY, at maximum fun.org.

And if you want to send us a phone call, God damn it, David. Then call us at 1. 844-779-631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Hello, Graham, Dave, and Impossible guest. This is Josh from Miwick Village, California.

And I'm calling in with a kid say the darn dist. So we were at Sunday school. And I was sitting in a chair and there was a little kid like sitting basically on my feet. And he looked up at me because I was reading a story. And he said, why do you have spider webs in your nose? And a little girl next to him said, those aren't spider webs. They're hair. You get those when you turn old.

True. All right. I love you. That's when they really come out to play is when you're old. Oh, no. I'm old. Well, I mean, look, we're aging all the time. I'm more of a crazy eyebrow guy.

Yeah. It's a constant battle. When, as an old man, do you decide to just let that become a part of your face? Oh, you can start anytime. Yeah, but it's weird, right? Yeah, they get really long. My dad has this one that's just so long. I know.

It gets, like, stuck in the car door. I see them now in my peripheral vision. Oh. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'll have one. that it'll be a wild one. Yeah?

Like I've got pretty, yeah, I got pretty short, tiny. I wish I had eyebrows. I have eyebrows. These are fake eyebrows. Really?

You don't have eyebrows. You got no eyebrows. I've got very little one. That's good. I have a beard trimmer and the level, the guard I use on it is the same guard. Like I tested it once. I was like,

if this goes wrong, I'm losing an eyebrow. But it's a good. So you're doing it all around. Yeah. Yeah. How often do you have to trim up the eyebrows? Oh.

I don't know. I feel like I forget to do it when I, and then I just have an errant one poking out. Yeah. Yeah. Is it ever getting your eye, like dangled down? Yeah. Oh. I've definitely, there's a lot of old men with the, with the ear hair situation.

I don't think that's my, I feel like nose hair is my, that's my cross to bear. You know, I'm also ear. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I did the other day? So gross. I was, I had a really. It's a gross episode.

I'm a gross, I'm a gross. And I, my ear was been so itchy. And I just decided, I was like, what if there's just one air, like one hair? Just one hair. And I took a pair of tweezers and I plucked an ear hair. Yeah. And that's what it was. It was just one tickly, little ear hair for the last year.

No. It must have been so satisfied. No offense. That wasn't that gross. Oh, that's kind of gross. Yeah, we got grosser on this episode. I bear hand those all. I was doing while I was driving, which is dangerous.

Oh, my God. You've got a little toot from it. Next phone call. Hi, Dave, Graham and Alicia Tobin. No. This is Adam from America with an overheard. I've been meaning to call in since forever. So apologies.

It's fine. 15 years ago to the day, I was in a sushi restaurant in Sacramento, California with my then-girlfriend. And there were these two, like, very fit, very clean-cut bros at the table behind us who were gossiping and talking excitedly about something they'd done with their friends, like, a trip or a festival they'd been to or something. Conversation goes on. We're eating our meal. And then they have like a good laugh about some part of it. And one leans back in his chair and wistfully goes, man, Iraq was my completeness.

What is that? What? What? What is that? I mean, it was, uh, it was, uh, Have you seen the Hurt Locker? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You might have been that guy. Yeah. That guy, have you seen the Hurt Lager? I don't, I can't. It's scary. It's scary. It's funny. It's not funny.

Wow, it's got a little funny because he's a guy that diffuses bombs. Right, yeah. And then he gets, he's done his tour and they send him home and he's like, he can't handle how boring it is. Yeah. Gotta go get, I got to suck on a bomb. Yeah, like he goes. That's how he defunders. excuse me,

we'd have to suck out the poison. Yeah, yeah. But there's a scene where he goes grocery shopping. I'm like, everybody finds that kind of boring. That was the, for me,

that was like, that's the indelible moment of the movie for me. The groceries? Yeah. Yeah, where he's like, so boring.

What? It's fun. Yeah. It is funny. Yeah, he doesn't know how to enjoy the simple thing. Yeah.

Everything doesn't have to be a long. He's probably just doing perimeter shopping. Which is more healthy, but you don't get to see all the good product. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is more healthy.

Yeah, everything's on the outside. Well, because there's... No, no, I'm just... Their light bulbs are turning on in my fizzling brain. Yeah. Wow. That's none of the packaged preservative laden stuff is... Because all of the cold stuff is on the outside.

Yeah, yeah. The fruits and... Does that... Is this common knowledge? Yeah. I think so. This is all... Everything in the grocery store is just like a casino, like planned out to the tea.

Damn. Yeah. I was just going in there, raw dog and no plan up and down the aisles. Oh, yeah. Me too. Okay. I mean, I'll go, you know, if I know I need one thing. But I'll still take a trip down the aisles.

Oh, yeah. The only plan I have, like, I'm going through all the aisles. But the only plan that I have is that I, you know, go in one direction. I'm not like going, aisle two, aisle eight. Oh, yeah. No, that's the way I do. Yeah, me too. But then I always end it.

Got to end in the freezer aisle. Because if you get that stuff too early, then it'll melt all your shopping. God, you're like a grocery savant. You are a grocery. Jeez, Louise. Well, I went to school for it. Here's your final phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham.

It's Ryan in Nanaimo. I was at the softball park for my daughter's softball practice, and I was in the bathroom standing at the urinal, and I could hear a mom say, you can't take food into the bathroom. Do not take pizza into the bathroom. That's it. Off I go.

Rules to live by. Well, I mean, if you're perimeter shopping, you can take the pizza. For the pizza section Sometimes you need a snack in there In the bathroom? Yeah, why not? I think because it's gross

I've done it, I've done it You've brought a food in? I haven't, I remember thinking this is gross Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was getting ready So it wasn't quite as like I wasn't doing a bathroom I feel like if you're Because this was at a beach, was it

Or this was just a regular bathroom? Softball? Softball, yeah. It's like a park. Yeah. Yeah, that's gross. Yeah. Public bathroom.

You bring food into your own bathroom. Sure. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, we all do that. You know, Brigitone. I'm in control of the smells in there. Yeah.

That's true. These are my smells. Yeah. You know how clean it is or is it? Yeah. I have some geosia in the bathtub. I've been brine and pickles in the tub for a year. Yeah, you could bring it some faw and just pour it in and then the noodles in the tub.

I'm in the soup. Like that Katie Perry video. Yeah. That's where I make my wine. Yeah. Yeah. stomped them grapes and then get in the tub and I just leave the bot. Stir them around.

No, just the little, you know, the little home brew kit. Oh, sure. Yeah, it tastes horrible. It tastes like vinegar. I think I'm doing it wrong. But it's in the bathroom. But you are, do you do it home brew? Yeah, you just keep it in a cool, dark place.

That's the coolest, darkest place I have. Huh. What motivated you to do this, curiosity? Yeah, I wanted to see if I could. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I can, but I'll just buy wine. I think you can, but I think the kit is maybe a little.

Yeah, I have to take it back to a place to get a bottled and it's ready and I don't. I think I've left it for too long at this point, but it's okay. I'll bring it to a party. Yeah. Just give it to some people. Get some cut water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll make sinkery out of it.

It'll be fine. Yeah, that's true. Or, you know, wait until Christmas, do a little mold wine. That's it. Yeah. That's it. We went to the cut water website during the break and there's so many drinks. They make so many flavors.

and I'm, I'm going to try this peppermint white Russian. Oh, I would like to watch you drink that. Yeah, it's peppermint and coffee beans. Woof. Woof. Well, I guess that is a Christmas time kind of beverage. Yeah, okay. That sounds good.

I wonder if it's, I wonder if it's creamy. Oh, did it? Although, maybe nice. Because they've got the other, their strawberry white Russian, too. Oh, and they just have their own vodka as well. Cutwater, if you're listening, you owe us some free cut water. Yeah. It's gluten-free gram.

Oh, yeah? It's gluten-free. So right there. Okay. Yum. Tonight's the night. Yeah. Cut water now.

Well, this has been a wonderful episode. It really has. It's been a lot of fun. Alana, thank you so much for being our gas. Thank you for having me. If people want to find you online and they want to see clips of you doing stand-up comedy and all that kind of stuff, where do they go? Mostly Instagram at Alana Brittany. And if you're in Vancouver in September, I'm doing that that show time of the month, the zippity, zappity, period cramp show at Fringe Fest, Vancouver Fringe Fest.

We're going to have six shows in Vancouver French. So you will, Graham, must come into. I will, absolutely. And Dave, you also, I would love to have. I'll be my own cramps. Just the audience, how, like, what presented of the audience is like, I also want to do it. Oh, so many of the women are like, do I have a guy for you? It's a lot of women that come with rage.

He'll hear him as tribute. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They do that. And then a lot of the women are like, I want to see if it actually hurts. And then they try it and are like, men are weak. Yeah. Oh, we are. Well, we present us tough.

Yeah. Well, we present us tough. Yeah, that's true. We're too the toughest around. Well, thank you again so much for being our guest. Thank you so much. And Graham has his big show coming up, 24 hours of comedy from the 22nd to the 23rd. Come in person.

Dave's going to be writing during the... There's some time. in the afternoon on the Saturday. And Alanna's going to be there. Three in the morning? I think four in the morning. Four in the morning. Okay.

And if anybody out there, if you want to watch it, you can go to Little Mountain Gallery. Dot. Yeah, I want to say. And you can watch it. You can live stream it. But you're really, if you're in town, you want to come down and watch it. It's amazing. It's, Graham, he does such a good job of it.

And there's so many funny people in town just churning out jokes the whole night through. and sometimes people get on one topic and really drive that into the graph. And you'll marvel at how great Graham's voice is doing. You'll be like, man, has this guy been mesh nebulizing? Yeah, if anything, his voice is getting better as the show's going on. So yeah, do that, and then come back next week for another episode

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