Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 952 - Carolyn Taylor

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

Comedian Carolyn Taylor joins us to talk walking across Spain, sleeping on the other side, and touring the dump. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Whoa! Hello everybody. Welcome to episode number 952 of Stop Podcasting yourself. My name's Graham Clark. With me, as always, there's a man who's getting his amp fixed, and he's got some figures.

He's kind of moving around. He's moving some money around to make sure it happens. It's Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, my amp. So the guy from, so I have this old guitar amp. Yeah. It's a Fender Showman. Okay.

The guy called me, and he said, well, okay, this is, you know, It might cost you some money because I don't know what you want to do with your amp. I dropped it off at the amp repair place. He calls me up. He says, it's, these amps are, they can be expensive.

Like, I looked online. They're between $2,000 and $21,000. $18,000. Okay, wow. I bought it for 600, maybe. Sell that amp.

20 years ago. But then I went online and I looked up, uh, what he must have looked up. And there are, they're all two or three thousand dollars, except for one that is $21,000 that was played by John Mayer. Yeah, and yours wasn't played by John Mayer. No, I was played by Dave Shelmcombe, Mosley. The John Mayer of the North, they call them. Yeah.

But I haven't, I don't have the same dating record. Yeah, you still got time. I mean, mine's better. He strikes out a lot. Our guest today, first time guest here on the podcast, we're talking over. writer. We're talking an actor. We're talking a comedian. And we're so stoked to have her. It's Carolyn Taylor. Hello, Carolyn.

She's taking notes. Everybody knows she's taking notes. I wrote the word AMP. And then through that whole bit, I was like, I don't know. Am I supposed to say something? Or do I just I just, okay, I was like, I'm not supposed to be here. No, yeah, yeah. But you're here now. I love that app story. And when you do say things, just say a little positive things like that. Yeah, yeah. The best. A good story.

Checkmark beside AMP. Great. Should we get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. Do you grow up? Do you play any instruments or anything? You got some amps in your past? Yes, I do.

I play like a bunch of things kind of poorly. Like I don't excel at any one thing, but I can like pick up a thing and I'm good listening. I can listen and play along in a sort of fun easy. Make a mistake. Repeat it three times. It sounds good. kind of way. Yeah. Yeah. So what kind of instrument? Well, like a keyboard, let's say. I can pick up a, I have a baritone ukulele that I love. Nice. Which is, of course, the bottom four strings of a regular

guitar. Okay. So guitar. I played trombone in high school. Um, what did you play? Did you play a wind or a clarinet? Oh, yeah. And then percussion in grade nine, I guess. Most of the people I knew who took clarinet, they took it because you got to play the sax after. That was the promise. It the gateway drug. Yeah, they said, and I never got beyond clarinet because I had braces, and you couldn't have a saxophone, you couldn't form the... Ambashore. Yeah. My daughter has done two years of clarinet, and she has one more year of whatever she wants. She's going to do clarinet again.

And she just loves Woody Allen. But no one, like, the saxophone isn't cool to this generation. Did you show her pictures of Bill Clinton? That might change your mind a little bit. But it was like the... other rock instrument. The only rock instrument in a like a marching band. Yeah.

It was so cool. I don't even know who I thought was cool that played it when I was a kid. Benny Goodman. George Michael in Careless Whisper. I presume it was George Michael. But yeah, it's what would be a cool instrument? Standard, still guitar, still drums. Yeah.

Keyboard. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, keys. But in, like, a school band, it's really just... I think a trumpet would be fun in school. Sure. Yeah.

You get to do the mute. Yeah, you get to do the mute. I love the trombone because there's no... You didn't have to memorize, like, positions of fingers. You just sort of feel it. I love feelings. Is that right? Yeah.

Okay. So you just sort of feel, I mean, there are positions. But you're going just by sound. Yeah, like you don't specifically know where to actually stop. You have to hear the moment. Yeah, you can't be tone deaf. I feel like if you're playing piano, you could be tone deaf as long as you're hitting the right keys. Yeah.

And with trombone, you can go, brr, that's the only instrument you can do that with. Yeah, it's fun. You were in band? I was in band in high school. In high school, okay. Did you guys, was there any, like I went away to band camp. Oh, you did. Do you ever have band camp?

No. Oh, this is a new revelation. This was in grade eight. We went to, yeah, like a three-day. band camp thing. Man, oh man, it was the first time I got to experiment with different toothpaste than my own. You know, you don't usually see other toothpaste until you're, you know? Yeah.

Sensenine. I can really get a better ambissure with the Sensorides. Was it away, like, in a camp area? Yeah, yeah. It was in like in a proper camp with like bunks and. With bunks. And then you all just brought your instrument? Yeah, it was kind of the least important part of the day was the instrument stuff.

The rest of it was eating and getting up to high jays. They'll be eaten. Well, I hope they'll be eating. But yeah, it was the one payoff of being in band. In band. Yeah. I mean, I think I was in band in like grade, whatever it was, eight or nine or something. So not like I didn't go on with band.

Yeah. High school band guys were kind of, we're a weird bunch. Were they? Yeah. Also the choir people. Like the choir people were. Yeah. Were you a choir person?

I was, I had to take choir as well. Okay. And I remember just we had to sing where I was at an all-girls school and we had to sing the song Chanson D'Amour. What's that? Like, chancon d'amu. Like just really like this kind of slow, sexy song. And we're in like grade 10 and we had to sing it in front of the boys schools like all the schools were coming together. Whoa, whoa.

And I just remember my friend Tracy. Like she just turned completely. Like we were just like turning our backs on the audience. It's like I'm not going to. Because you don't see boys day to day. No. So it's like. I got boys and we got to sing Chances de Mour.

This is crossing a line. That's like a little petri dish experiment. They were thinking, well, I'll let's see if we put them together. Make them sing the sexiest song all the time. Did you take French? Like, were you in French immersion? Well, I grew up in Montreal. You did.

I did. So we, yeah, I was in French immersion for kindergarten. And I was, I just, my biggest memory, one, was the, eclipse, the solar eclipse. That was huge that happened in 79, I think. Tell us. I was all about this solar eclipse. Well, just that we were told, like, if you look outside, you're going to burn your... Yes. And it was all in French, so it was like, I don't know if I understand. But I just remember how searing that fear was. And thinking, like, kids today, imagine with, I mean, I have to go into like COVID or whatever. Like, the fear, like, I carry

the fear. I felt about an eclipse from, like, kindergarten. And so imagine when these guys get to be adults. Yeah. But my main thing from kindergarten in French immersion was that I had to say these magical words to go to the bathroom. Eskoshapal, la, la, la, that's what la. And I just knew if I said, I could go to the fucking bathroom. Yeah, I think it's the one sentence.

I memorized, me and Dave Cartwright. We memorized that one line. Yeah. I haven't picked up any else. Yeah, that's all you've got. I know gratouille is free. Yeah. From the offer on the side.

of a cereal box. Yes, that's right. So you grew up in Montreal. Yes. And then did you start doing comedy in Montreal? Did you move to Toronto or do you move elsewhere? Where did you start? Where did I start?

This is a real biography podcast. Oh, my goodness. This is Annie's biography. Well, I remember my first laugh. Remember my first laugh? Yeah. I was in the Children's Shakespeare Company of Montreal. And I was nine and I got promoted.

We were doing a Midsummer Night's Dream and I think I was a fairy. But then someone dropped out. got promoted to be one of the, you know, the players, like snug the joiner. Yeah. Tinker. No, wait. Yeah. Who was it?

Somebody the tinker. Yeah. What are they called? Snout. Snout the joiner. Snug the joiner. Oh, yeah. Snug the joiner.

Sorry. You had this role you say? Yeah. No, I promise. I had it. Suck the joiner. Snout the tinker? Tinker the Taylor soldiers.

I hardly know her. Bottom. Bottom the donkey. Bottom the donkey. and call me on the morning. Oh, no. Anyway, they do the play within the play. They do the play within the play.

And in that, I have the part of the lion. It's not good journey has the play to the lion. And it says to roar, like to go on stage and roar. And I didn't, so I just went out and stood there and I went, roar. And the audience fucking lost their mind. And I had no idea, like, as a kid, why that was so fucking funny. But I would do it night after night. And I think that element of my comedy has stayed where I don't always know why it's funny.

I'm like, something's happening. So I'm just going to ride this fucking thing. It's a volunteer. Yeah, it's like, oh, man, when you figure out a bit when you're a kid, oh, man, like. Like, roar. Yeah, exactly. That's one of those things where then family or friends came over and they'd be like, do the thing that's so hilarious. Do the bit.

Yeah. I'm trying to think. Definitely my nephew came up with a really well-timed six-seven that we all really. We lost our mind at. What is a joiner? Did they all have trades? Yes, they all have trades. The joiners would be a carpenter, right?

Like somebody that, like, they still have joiners now, I think. Is that what they're called? I think they work in carpentry, joiners? Snug. Yep. Oh, he's hired by Peter Quince. Oh, I see. Okay.

He's a joiner. Yes. Yes. I was hoping this Wikipedia would show me to, like, the other players. Nope. Just done as. zone. But what fools these mortals be, am I right? Dave, were you in any, do you any Shakespeare thing? Any mandatory Shakespeare?

No, just we did, in English class and drama. Yeah. We did, I think, I think I did Mid-Sermin-Nized Dream twice. Who were you? It was never like, it was never a performance. It was just sort of like, we're studying this in class. And so you have to memorize whatever. This speech. Yeah. Did you? I had a thing where it was a Shakespeare company and it came through the school and everybody basically like there was the lead actor and then everybody just had like a line.

Like they just like my line was like, what is a miss? And then they say you are, sir, but do not know it. That's really the only quote I can remember from that. Have you the lion's part written? Be it if it be, give it to me for I am slow of steady. Nice. In there for the rest of your life. Isn't that frustrating?

Yeah. Because you don't need it again. No, I'll never need the line. Did you ever do any more Shakespeare? Yeah, I was in the company for a few years. So I did, yeah, several plays. But as a kid, like kid Shakespeare. And then, you know, high school.

Kid Shakespeare was my name when I was a rapper. Kid Shakespeare. When you first kind of started out in comedy, mostly as an actor or writer? I started as an actor. I guess my first, like, professional, real professional. professional gig was Second City. So I got the touring company. And, um.

So what does that mean? I hear touring company is it you're going from, it's not the cruise version, because I know there's like a second city on a boat. Yes. It's not the boat and it's not OXCO and it's not what's the one for school, Edco. Oh, okay. It's none of those. It's basically you're like the understudy for the main stage and you tour to like weird

little towns like Uxbridge, Ontario. Okay. And put on a best of kind of show. Is it all Ontario? No, we went out to Manitoba. I think we're in Thompson, Manitoba. Oh, yeah, yeah. Bustam Metropolis.

Yeah, yeah, Bustameter. Exactly. But we didn't go too far, like a little East Coast, a little Ontario, a little Manitoba. And like, because they, I don't think I realize this until way, way later on that they have sketches that are already, that are kind of passed on. It's the best of. So when you're in Torco, I remember my first director was Bob Martin, who wrote, was in a drowsy Chafferone and performed on Broadway and everything. So he was our first director, and he said, think of this as like a year-long audition for main stage. So you're here, you're performing the best of, and then you understudy, and then theoretically, someone you're understudying gets fired.

Yeah. That's what you're hoping for. Some sort of scandal. Or retires, whatever. And then you have a shot at the thing. It's sort of like show girls where. Basically. Yeah, Gina Gershaw and gets pushed down the stairs.

Yeah, exactly. Or, like, all about Eve. Like, it's really, yeah. Yeah. And like, how many years did you do? I think I did Turco for like a year and a half and then I did main stage, I think, just shy of three years. Okay. I love that it's all they get fired or it's not like, oh, they might get hired at a better point.

No. They have to be pushed up to TV. They might, you know, be on a TV show or. It's a severance thing, you understand. Yeah. Yeah. The, uh, do you keep in touch with any of your, your group that you? you were part of?

Sure. I mean, actually, I was just on tour with Pat Kelly and Peter Oldring. Friends of the show. Two the funniest men around. They really fucking are. They are so funny. We went and toured, we did Western Canada and then a bit in Eastern Canada and a tiny bit in Ontario with a show.

And what was the name of the show? It was funny. It was called A Perfectly Reasonable Night of Comedy. And that's what it was. It was reasonable. Yeah. That's the review. Reasonable.

Yeah, reasonable. As ever tied. And they were, the thing is, they're always doing bits, like, constantly. I mean, they're the best and I love them. But I had to, I was like, guys, I'd never know. So I created a clown card for us. I drew clowns on cards for everyone. I was like, are we clown card up?

If you're doing a bit, just have your clown card up. If we're being serious, put your clown card down. So we actually have that as our shorthand now. We carry them around. And it's like, like, is the car leaving at 8 a.m. Or is that a bit? Are you, like, oh, you're tricking me because I like to sleep in and you're saying it's eight. And then I'm like, oh, I thought you were joking.

And they're like, no, it's for real. I was like, I thought it was a bit. Let's see that Clam Cart. I find Pat, Peter's very, a lot easier to read because he'll do a voice. Pat is very. Oh, he's dead. No, he's, you need Clown Car. He's not just deadpan.

I think he's dead. He's a dead guy. It's just a dead man. Wow. Fighting words, really. Wow. That's huge. I hope he never hears this.

Oh, my God, I forgot. Yeah, he doesn't like to be threatened. He's alive. Were these, these were shows in theaters? Yes. Nice. What would the alternative be? Bars, I guess.

A Legion, perhaps. No, they were actual theaters. Yes, they were theaters. And we were traveling around. Yeah, stadiums. Yeah. Mr. Chris Kelly as well, who was our producer and, you know, engineer of all the. And do you guys, were you doing improv?

Are you doing sketches? It was. a little bit of sketch, lots of improv, but sort of, you know, some of the best of. Some of the best of, yeah, best of. I don't know. It was, yeah, different scenarios.

And then I did some of my figure skating stuff that I do on. I have nothing. Some of that on stage. That show is so much fun. That's so much fun. Yeah. That, like, was a life-changing. So, yeah, I first met Carolyn.

I only met Carolyn on Zoom. Yes. We were, Pat and Pete, and I were trying to turn our podcast. Which one's alive, which one's dead? Pat is a dead man. That's a dead man. This sounds serious into a TV show.

And we got Carol on board to help us write a pilot, a Bible. Something. To develop it. Yeah. And at one point, you said, oh, I can't make this call. I got to go do this, this skating thing. And we were like, what is it? Oh, it's nothing.

Yeah. And then it was something. And then it was something. Tell it, like, for people who don't. don't know, who've never seen the show. Tell what's the setup. Okay, setup is basically that I'm in real life, IRL. It's a docucomedy, so I relayed that I was driving my car in 2016. I heard Whitney Houston's song, I have nothing on the radio. Graham, I'm a few parts. Yeah, would you? There you go. Okay, well, Dave.

I have nothing, nothing, nothing. There you know. I don't have you. I like that frog voice that you do. Well, it's because I'm ashamed. No, it's great. So I heard Whitney Houston sing it. You didn't hear me. Indesertable. And I was like, oh, my God, this needs to be a full-length professional, like, you know, gold medal-worthy Olympic figure skating routine.

Yeah. I can fucking hear the jumps. And I really could. I was like, oh, my God. And I was with my girlfriend at the time. And I'm like, you know, trying to land jumps to the music. I'm like, do you hear this? Do you hear the twists and the jumps and the jumps?

You're trying to land them in your head. Yeah, of course. And so it kicked around and I couldn't get rid of the idea. And then during, I guess, COVID, I had a lot of time on my hands. I'm like, well, how would I pitch this? And so I teamed up with Zach Russell. And together we sort of broke the story of like how this show could be pitched. Yeah.

And basically endeavoring to get to Olympic gold medalists to actually skate the skate and get the rights to the music and become a choreographer and like do it all on ice and have a big thing and then produce a show about it. And it was nuts, but it happened. It happened. It happened. It was nuts, though. I loved that, like, from the setup, go, I loved it.

I loved the idea of it. Yeah. Because I, when the Olympics are on, bigger skating is, that's where I'm parking. It's the one. It's the one. It's the one. And, like, it's rooted in an obsession with the 88 Olympics, which were the best ones, the Calgary.

Absolutely. Elizabeth Manley. And Catarina Viz. A Battle of the Carmen. Debbie Thomas. Yeah. And Debbie Thomas. Did you have a favorite from this?

Did I have a favorite? Favorite from this past Olympics. Oh, this. Oh, well, Alyssa Liu. Oh, my God. Like, come on. That skate. A particular dancer just, oh, the skate.

The skate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I went in actually not really knowing them. People are like, oh, you're obsessed with figures here. I'm like, no, just the ADA. Yeah, yeah. Maybe the 90s. Totally.

And then it stopped for me. But so that was my only frame of reference, frame of reference for the show. But, no, this crop of skaters, they were fucking, and Rico and Ruchi from Japan. Yeah. They won the gold. And they're in my show as well. I was choreographing them, like, training. Oh, shit.

Yeah. So they're in it. And they were only silver medalists at the time. Only. Only. So, anyway. You know, you have one more to go. When you choreograph something, is there like, is it written down?

in a specific way or is it like, it's not like, oh, so a skater could pick up the choreography. I'm like, yeah, I can do this. Yeah, yeah. That's what they thought was going to happen? Like, they kept saying, okay, so what are the moves? Like, what are the steps? And I'm like, oh, well, I come from an improv background. So I was thinking, we can kind of find it together.

Like, I know where the jumps are, but I mean, the stuff in between, I don't know. Look at the audience to shout out the rest. Yeah, exactly. Sal cow. What's something someone might do on ice with a partner? So they were like, that's actually dangerous, and you can't just keep trying weird things. And so I sort of learned they kind of got a little bit injured or one of them did minor, small, small. But I was like, oh, shit, I got to figure this out.

So I went home and I sat down and really, like, tried to write everything out on cue cards and, like, have, and I'd just draw it. So it'd be like this. You're skating in a circle and David's going to lift you up. You drew the, like, little figures. I drew little figures because that was. the only way to translate or I mimed. Like, I just didn't have the words. I didn't have the vocabulary.

I tried to learn the words, but I don't know. You have them now? Some, yeah, for sure. Do you think that you, in a pinch, would you be able to be a commentator? If a commentator went down during the Olympics. Oh, fuck, I would love it. Like, if they were like, listen, we know this is, you know, this is weird, but we think you could be good to fill in.

We've got somebody's just come down with a cold. That's my dream. Yeah. That's my dream that I'm like given, okay, you have one hour to. to prepare. Yes. Okay. And I can fack and cramp.

Like, there's times when I prepare. I have this thing with my girlfriend where I was like, I can learn every periodic table like the numbers and the abbreviations for each. And I study and I said, you have to give me like two hours. I'll have it. But right now I don't have them. But I got, I did them perfectly.

And then we had a challenge. But now they're gone. Like, so I can cram for something and hold like world capitals. I can hold, you know, periodic table. but then it's gone if I don't. That's interesting because the periodic table, like when I was doing chemistry in high school, that was your favorite element?

Yeah. Oh, for me, it's a surprise, the element of surprise. Oh, yes, yes. Yours favorite element? Listen, I like, I mean, A.U., gold. Nice. It's nice. Learn that from Facts of Life.

Yeah. A.U stole my gold watch. I guess I like neon. Yeah, I was going to say neon. Is neon 10 or 11? That's the thing is, I don't know. is because the thing about the periodic table of elements on day one, our teacher was like, you're not going to have to memorize this.

You'll always have it. Yeah, that's true. And then you just need to, here's what the hard part is learning all of those things they do. Yeah. Yeah. What's number one? Oxygen? No, it is.

Hydrogen is number one. Hydrogen, helium. Helium, lithium. Barillium. Barillium. Yeah. Yeah. It's up there.

It's one of the early ones. Carbon is six, I think. I thought carbon was eight. Oh, is carbon eight? Well, let's see who studied the closest to the... Oh, fuck. What is a joiner? Yeah.

Is carbon six or eight? Oh, no. I thought it was six. I'm going to say it's six. I'm going with Carolina. Yeah, please. I think it's six. Oh.

Oh, it's eight. Okay, we're going to... I'm embarrassing. Looking at the actual table. Hydrogen, helium, helium, lithium, beryllium. Carbon is six. Oxygen is. eight.

Thank you. Nicely done. Ah, few. That was close. Yeah, I've had that same thing. Like, in high school, I could really memorize in, like, the night before. Yeah. And, yeah, if you asked me to say anything from any of those tests, I don't know idea.

I remember our headmistress at school was, like, before exam started, she's like, well, if you don't know it by now, you're never going to know it. And this was, you know, just before exam week started. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, I want to learn the entire curriculum like this week. Yeah. Like, if I took your advice, yeah, I would fail. I was the same way, but I would be like, like, I know I'm not going to cram and get 100%.

Yeah. But I will, I'll pass if I can put it off until the last minute and get by. I didn't like people who were like, quiz me, quiz me before the test. I was like, no, you're just, you're, you're ruining my whole thing that I've got going here. Yeah. Yeah, I need to recall them when I need to recall. Making people who made flashcards, I was like, the time it took you to make those, that's the whole time I'm going to spend study. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you're making them in advance and then studying them. You know, like flashcards were real, like, sitcom device. I got to say, in grade school, I loved when, I'm such a nerd. Like, when the teacher would be like, okay, we're doing our times tables. Everyone line up and we're going to do the five. I was like, yes, this is my time to come alive. Like, I love memorization.

Ours was, I remember in grade one, it was plus and minus. and she had flashcards and you would come up with another student and whoever got it first got to sit down and if you didn't you have to keep standing there and it was humiliating for the person who was stuck there. Yeah, it was like,

I remember, do you remember Scantron? No. But like fill in A, B, C or D and it like red. You had to do it with a HB pencil or whatever. Do you never have to do this? I've blocked it out. So this, like, it would be on a long card. You'd answer all the questions from the test

And then they put it through a reader And the reader would make a noise For every thing that was wrong So if it was like one mistake It would just go like and then go through it They did it in front of the whole class They didn't say who's who's who's Oh

But we knew and it was like brr We were like Brad, it's Brad's. Oh that's they did lice checks In front of everyone in school In front of everybody That was humiliating Because I had long hair And I got lice a couple of times

Oh no! Yeah and they're like Send you out My daughter's going to camp this year Wow. Shave her head. They're doing light checks like at the drop off. Yeah.

Oh, absolutely. You go to the wrong sleepover, long hair, you know, with your best friend, she's got lice, you got lice. Yeah. Yeah. Were you trying on different hats that was going on? Totally. Trying on different hats, sharing each other's pillow. I don't know.

I have no idea. I just know they went through your hair with like a comb. Yeah. And then if you were identified as having lice, you had to go to the special other room. No. Yeah. Oh, my God. Brutal.

That's horrible. Yeah. Do that at home. Make it the parents' job. Don't have a teacher in front of everybody rank. I guess I never, like, I don't know how bad it gets, but they really don't want a lice outbreak. No, it apparently, like, if it spreads, it goes wild. Yeah.

Yeah. As far as I'm concerned, it's nobody's business. Yeah, I seem to recall a kid in our class that got lice and that stuck around him for many years. Yeah. That's very, that's very. vulnerable of you to say that you had lice. We're trying to destigmatize. Oh, lice.

Yeah, I did. The other thing I remember from our Zoom sessions was you loved your uni pizza oven. Oh, fuck, yes. We would talk about those, like, oh, your plans for this pizza. It's an oven, a pizza oven fits in an IKEA bag. Yes, I carry mine around in an IKEA bag. And you, and then was yours gas or wood?

Mine's wood. Okay. No, I have strong feelings about this. Like some people are like, oh, I got an uni pizza oven. Mine's gas. I'm like, okay, sure. You could just barbecue pizza. Sure, just barbecue pizza.

Cook you in your oven. Like, why are you telling me? We're not in the same club. No, the pizza oven with the wood, they, you have to buy these little wood pellets. Yeah. Like you had a bag of them at the, you know, a home hardware or something. And you, like, it heats up to, like, 900 degrees.

And you're able to cook, like, those margarita pizzas and whatever in, like, but it's super dangerous. You couldn't have kids around. Like, fire shoots at the back when you open up the thing. Like, it's really, I've burnt myself. Like, you don't want someone helping. You do it, like, in a middle of a field? Yeah.

Yeah. It's a few feet from my house. But, yeah, I do. I set it up on the picnic table. and then try to, like, and you can't put too much wood in or it puts out the thing. Like, you have to really, really. But the pizzas, oh my God. Oh, my God.

People are like, are you kidding? Have you been to Peter Alderings House? I have. Because he's got, is it his wood fire as well? Because it's not a. Listen, I think. Well, his is outrageous. I wish we could call him right now.

I think he has a gas one. Okay. I don't know. I don't want to take an outdoor kitchen. So. Fine. When I first met you, it was million years ago when you were a writer at this hour's 22 minutes. Yes.

And I was one of the porceles that was brought in for like a little test run. Oh, fuck. And everybody but me stayed on with the show. Oh, wow. Okay. So where were we writing? Were we in one of those shitty little trailers or had we moved to the bigger? You were in a building.

In the building. Yeah. Like the top. To the building. No, maybe not the top floor. I know that it was very close to a bathroom. all the crew used. Okay.

I feel like that that was how I knew where it was. Oh, yeah. The crew loves using the bathroom. Were we playing hockey sack a lot? No. Okay. Because I think my last season, I was just like, you know what you're checked out? You're like, I don't want to play hacker sack?

And I just, I played hacky sack the whole time. I was always like, there's a lot of waiting. I'm like, how will we just play hockey sack? I knew it was time to leave. You were there for like a few years? Yeah. Like, I think I only did one or two years. actually for the full season.

I was there on the trial thing. And then I did another one where I got the job, but I just committed to walking across Spain to walk the Camino. Really? Yeah. So I had to like turn down 22. But then I got it when I, when I went, when I came back from Spain, they were like, you can come.

So I did a part. Yeah. What is this? I know. Tell us about it. You know about the no. Camino Santiago, Compostela? No.

I know about running with the bulls. I know about running with the bulls. Yeah. I know Tomat. Is it Tomatio? I know about the Tomatio. Okay, well, there's this thing that I'm sure some of your listeners have heard about. It's called the Camino de Santiago.

And it's an ancient path that goes across northern Spain. And it starts in the Pyrenees mountains in France, Saint-Jean Pietapur. You climb the Pyrenees. Fuck, I hate myself right now. And you walk every day. It's about just shy of 800 kilometers. Okay. To Santiago.

And there's a big cathedral there. And it was walked by Saints and Cinerary. and prisoners and royalty. There's a big cathedral everywhere. Yeah, there were many cathedrals along the way. And you had committed to this? I had. You said it like, oh, I couldn't do this season because I had committed to like the national hockey.

Yeah. I had committed to play Division I for UCLA. To walk across Spain. But I had my flight and I was, and I remember being really like worried. I'm like, oh no, I've been wanting this gig, and I needed the gig. Like, it wasn't like I didn't need the gig. I really needed the gig. I'm the hell of you for saying I'm doing this thing.

I've already got a walk plan. It just got kicked out of Second City. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I just been fired from. And so I just, but luckily it worked out. But you know when you're following what you're, you know, when you're like, no, no, I committed to this thing. Then usually the path opens, I find, if you're being honest, like you're not fucking someone, you're not lying and saying of this other thing.

It's like, it's the truth. You got a thing. Yeah. And they heard it and they said, okay, join us in November. Is it like an event where like everyone walks at the same time? No, you just start walking whenever you get a little credential, which is like a little mini passport. And you walk about between like 20. It's credential.

Yeah. What is credentialing? It's like a sort of like a little piece of furniture with drawers. It's a little back here in pizza oven. And you walk like 25K to 40K a day. Wow. And it takes about a month. Were you with a group?

No. Solo. No. Well, I was going to walk alone. I told my friend Jill, I said, hey, I'm walking alone. She's like, why would you do that? I'm like, who else wants to? And she's like, but she fell in love on like day one or two.

And so she went off with Lorenzo. Oh, Lorenzo. And I was like, where's my friend? But we did agree to go. Like, we agreed we were together alone, meaning if you get tired and you want to stop or you or break your leg, like, I'm not going to stop walking. Right. vice versa.

Like, I'll help you get to a hospital. But you bring your leg, I'm out of here. But, like, we're on our own journey. How long were she and Lorenzo together? They were together a long time, or a while. Months, years? Yeah. Okay.

Wow. Yeah. And where did he come from? He came from Italy. Oh, nice. Lorenzo. Lorenzo. Yeah, he was a beautiful human.

He's no longer with us, but he was a beautiful, beautiful human being. and he was the slowest walker on the thing. So, like, Jill used to be, like, you know, lapping me being ahead. But when she fell in love, she walked slowly, Lorenzo, and I was on my own. And you know what? You're better for it. Yeah, thank you. Yeah.

You need somebody like him weighing you down. Yeah. I've seen in recent years people hiking with ski poles. Yeah. Is this, did that exist back then? Some people did. Like, listen, there are the people who were like, oh, I had my, I had my, bag carried by a tour bus that brought it to them. I'm like, you know, like the Camino.

Oh, I, you know, and I, you walk through these industrial areas at times. Like, sometimes you're in these bucolic, beautiful, you know, like vineyards and mountains and whatnot. And then other times you're in like the wasteland, like walking through Mississauga or whatever the outskirts of Vancouver. Yeah, Mississauga. And, and when I walk those, some people are like, oh, I'm going to catch a cab just to get out this, the boring car, this 10K, just a little bit. But I could hear my brother's voice and I knew at the end of the month he'd say so you walk the Camino I say yeah and he goes you never once just said I'll hop in a cab to get and I was like and I could hear it and I was like I knew he'd say so you didn't really walk the Camino and I was

like fuck so all everyone else not everyone but some people hopped on city bus I was like none of these people have an annoying brother yeah you got to have a brother who holds you to account he's like well then you didn't really do it yeah but like remember that time you almost did the Camino yeah that's what it would mean I'd be like I but I walk 700 and I can know, like, would these people know that you were on this trip if you've passed by a guy who's just like putting out a credential? Yeah. 100. Like this walk has been going on for thousands of years.

So people would know when you're walking through the hotel. They'd be like, oh, there they are. There they are. Spit on you. And their little yellow arrows spray painted on the ground some places. So you can kind of get lost. It wasn't very well marked. Again, I did it in the early 2000 or 2005, I think.

So now maybe it's better marked. But you know what? I love walking. walking through IKEA when they have the arrows like projected down onto the ground. That's your walk. That's my Camino. Every time I see the arrow on the ground that's just projected from above, I'm like, damn, they did it. They really.

They figured out this Bogo. But if you take an elevator. Gobo? Bogo. Gobo. Bogo is a deal I have at. Yeah. And you were at 22 minutes for four or five years?

Probably for, like, maybe a little mini one and then a full season and the mini commuter gear. And, like, I think I did another. Oh, I came in, I don't know, finished a season once. I'm not sure. I can't remember. You're just footloose and frenzy free. Something like that. I don't remember.

I remember. Like, I remember very little about it. But one thing I do remember is that a group of us went and saw the movie 300. Oh. The, like, Spartan battle movie with the Gerard. Is this Gerard Butler? Gerard de Porte. Yeah.

It is most ripped. That was the movie where they, I mean, they were all in good shape. They were all in very good. But they also airbrushed abs on top everyone. They do every morning when I wake up. I think I blacked that. I don't know if I was part of that.

I don't remember. That's the only kind of like, I have like very kind of, I remember not getting in many sketches. Yeah, well, that's normal when you're trying out. Yeah. And. But everyone else trying out.

She came to call it, except for me. That's right. I remember I started to get into Battlestar Galactica because everyone was so into that. I'm like, okay. Like, I'm not really into sci-fi, but I watched it and got into it so that I could have conversations with people. Yeah, I've done that. Yeah. But, yeah, it's...

I still want to get into that. Dave, I'll watch it with you if you want. Well, like, in person? No, no. Watch it at the same time. Dave. Oh, have you good? Watched it?

No. All right. New bonus content. We're watching. Oh, cool. Let me do you think. Yeah. What is going to say?

Paddle Star Andromeda? Nope. Battlestar Galactica. Yeah. I got it. I'll be good on the day. Paddleboat Galactica. There was a one character I thought was kind of compelling and it was like this one character

you didn't want to be around because if they said something to you, they planted an idea in your head. Oh. So it was just better not to ever have a conversation with them because once they got in your your head, you'd never get them out of your head. It's literally all I remember. Yeah. Yeah.

I have no reference. Okay, well, let me know when you get to that part. It's funny, though, that there are those things. I can't think of any examples where you're like, the one little detail about, like, now this is the dumbest example, but the, that Catherine Zeta Jones movie with Sean Connery, everyone just remembers her butt going under the lasers. Like it was a full two-hour movie we all saw, but. Yeah.

Now I'm trying to think of something where I just know one. thing. I mean, like, I never watched Game of Thrones except the last episode. Okay, I never watched it. Yeah. Well, don't watch the last episode. None of it makes any sense. I hear it's the worst, right? It's supposedly the worst. It was fine to me. Right, because you hadn't watched it. I'm like, this is okay. That was satisfying. Yeah. There's many real storylines all tidied up in the end, you know? Yeah, do you fantasy, sci-fi, any of that? I like magical realism. So I like stuff that seems like this world but is slightly off. Wait, you've been on Black Mirror. I was on Black Mirror.

Yeah, that is that. I love that kind of thing. Yeah, that, yeah, exactly. Me too. But I'm really highly suggestible. So I have a hard time watching it because then my brain, like that one SS, what was the Black Mirror? You know, they're on the ship that's like Star Trek. Yeah, yeah.

They, this nerd uploads your DNA into his magical world of like Star Trek. And you've got to be characters. You're trapped in this alternate universe, no? Yep. Is this a Black Mirror? It's a black mirror and it's so scary that I actually can't watch too many or I won't sleep. Like I'm, because then I go, I went to a party.

Actually, it was pride in Toronto. And this one guy had a lot of memorabilia from like, you know, sci-fi type stuff. And he had a party and had all our names on plastic cups. And I was like, not a fucking chance. I was like, I'll take my cup home. And he said, oh, what are you worried? I'm going to take your DNA. I was like, I'll just take my car, thanks.

Exactly. Like. And just, would you want to brush your hair? with this before you go. No. No, I've got lies. Yeah. But it gets into my head, so I can't watch.

Yeah, I, like, do you watch Black Mirror at all? I watched the first season or so. I like that it's... Again, the only thing I remember is the Prime Minister of fucking the pig. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. So I maybe watch the first episode or so. And you're like, this is not for me.

And I like that it was all kind of regular except that one thing. Yes. It would be like, oh, everybody can replay their memory. Well, isn't that the, like, criticism of it as well? It's just like, yeah, but what if your blender was crazy? Right. Dave, that's pretty scary. Your blender was crazy?

I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. That'd be great. Yeah. I mean. Write it down. You've got a not pad. Crazy blender. It was like Alfred Hitchcock.

Oh, no. We lost ink. Oh, no. There's fucking out. There we go. So we've got AMP, we've got a checkmark, and now crazy blender. Yeah, it was like, it is like Alfred Hitchcock. Yeah.

Or like Twilight Zone. Twilight Zone. That was formative, I'd say, as a kid watching it. I watched, I loved Elbert Hitchcock Presents. Did you say Elvin? Elvin. It was a sci-fi thing. You wouldn't understand.

You wouldn't understand. Elvin Chipmunk presents. And then X-Files was a big one when I was a kid. And that was like, same kind of thing. Like, everything is normal, but. We're on the investigation There's a reptile Last week you told me you saw the movie

Obsession Yes and that falls in that same It's scary It's scary You saw it Yeah I saw it Well because you told the story of You went to the theater

And the usher outside Said to you Good luck Good luck He was saying to everybody walked in Good luck And then you And then when the lights went down

He came back in and said Good luck Your mom's not coming to save you Yeah Shit. Was it as scary as you'd suggest? And it's magical realism. Would you call it magical realism?

Yep. Everything's normal except. One little ingredient. Yeah. And it's like, do you like horror movie at all? The thriller? I'm like, come here, go away. I want to and then I get too scared.

So again, too suggestible. It's not the scariest. I don't like horror movies. And I was like, but everyone's talking about this one. Maybe I should see it. It's fun. It's fun. And she's great.

Like the way she. the performance is... A star is born. And it was this kid who made it. He made his original film for $700. And that was on YouTube and got a big following. Yes. And he made this one for under $800,000.

And it's gross like $150 million. Yeah. So it's cool because he's just like a young guy. And everybody was like, he just knew all of his stuff like he was a kid. But he knew how to run a set. But I went, so I went a few days later. Yeah.

And I didn't know where you saw. movie. I took the train. I went to the one at that's the one. Yeah, river port. No. Marine gateway. I get river port and marine gateway mixed up all the time because a river to me is marine and what is a gateway if not a port? I see you get confused. But I went and I as I'm going to the theater the guy was wearing it was an usher wearing a paper crown like a Burger King crown.

Yeah. He was wearing that for you? Yeah. Okay. I guess this is his thing. Okay. And he said, good luck. And then your mom's not coming to save you.

And I went and there was a, went on a Friday night. I haven't been to a movie on a Friday night in years. I go by myself at like two o'clock on a Tuesday. Okay. And it was so full and the energy was so great. And the people next to me, there were these four teenagers. And they were like, anytime anything scary happened,

they all giggled with each. other. That's old-timey. Like those for, like, because I only go by myself to matinees, I believe the hype that,

you know, movie theaters are dying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then, yeah, it was back when I was there. Oh, cool.

And it's, it is worth, if you're going to see it, is worth seeing it in the theater. Okay. Well, now I want to go see it. Yeah.

Let's go. Let's go right now. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Did I tell you I saw that movie? Yes, you did. The other thing is I, shoulders have been bothering me.

Oh, no. Frozen shoulder? No. Undiagnosed shoulder, untitled shoulder project. When does it hurt when you do what? Or putting on a jacket. Reaching back and putting on my arm through the sleeve. Sounds like frozen shoulder.

In the front, in the back. Top. Oh, right. All right. What about trying to put a backpack on? Oh, well, Probably, yeah. Yeah.

Is that pro show? I honestly, have you had pro show? I sure have. What do you do about? You waded out. Really? Hell, and it can go on for a couple of years.

I went to the physiotherapist. I didn't go to the doctor. I was like, the doctor should send me the physiotherapist. Well, you might have given you drugs, you know, a little something. Oh, maybe. Yeah. And he gave me, I like the physiotherapist because he gives you some exercises,

and then he just, eats you up. He just went to town on my shoulder. And? He was biting it. And then, yeah. And so he, you know, works on me for half an hour. Gives me some exercises.

Tells me, take pictures of me doing the exercises so you can do them right. What kind of outfit did you put on? He's taking pictures of himself? He's doing the exercises. I have to take pictures of him. But I put on a... That's his kink. I put on a...

I was going to say it sounds like he couldn't send you just a YouTube video of somebody doing it. Here, take pictures of me. Watch me to it. Although every time I go, he's like, oh, okay, here's what's wrong with your body. And he'll pull up Google and show you an image of your body. And you're like, wait, how did I get up there? And he, so he gave me three exercises and two massages, like to, like, to, like, Personal massage.

Ways to massage yourself. Yeah. One's a ball against the wall. Oh, yeah. Ball against the wall. And one is a massage gun right here. Okay. And he said, um, and the, like, because nothing caused it.

There was no, you know, I didn't hurt myself. I don't, you know, get my arm caught in the door. Yeah. Um, but he was like, what side do you sleep on? And I said, this side. And he said, can't sleep on that side anymore. Yeah. And so I've been sleeping on this side.

I've been with Abby. I'd say we have lived together. Well, you know what? Before we live together, we spent every night in the same bed. Nice. 26 years, I've been sleeping on my left side. Okay. Okay.

I am, so I've started sleeping on my right side, and suddenly I'm having the most vivid dreams. On your right side? Well, like, every time I travel, and I sleep in, like, a new bed that I've never slept in before, I have these crazy dreams. And Dave's famous for having the most boring dreams. Is that right? Yeah.

My most famous boring dream is I had a dream that my travel agent retired. Oh, that's true. Or was retiring. And it was like, I got to get these travel plans in before she retired. Oh, God. Dave, what sign are you? What sign am I? Yeah.

Do you want to guess? You just crossed your arms. No, I'm curious. Well, is it like something like, I don't know. Virgo or Oh my God No Do you have

No what is it I'm a Sagittarius Oh Sagittarius Oh Sedge okay Why yeah why Well I just I'm just curious Like it just

I don't know I was just wondering if you're like Played by the rules And you keep Oh Vergos played by the rules And like you worry The travel agents living So that's your point of stress

And you want to make sure The plans are organized Before you But I mean Sagittarius is a big travel sign So maybe that would be Anxiety for a session Maybe it would be

It was like You gotta go on one of these Spanish walks at Verdo Yeah Oh, too scary? What if I fall in love? I'm an Italian guy. What side am I going to sleep in then?

But it's like the same effect is just like staying in the same bed and sleeping on a different side. It's like my brain is completely transformed. The dreams I can't remember. Right. But they're like, they're bumping. I wake up in the morning and I'm like, what happened? Yeah. Because there was a listener wrote in last week with one that they had where they were explaining to their friends

the science behind censadine toothpaste. Oh, God. What's your sign? I'm a Pisces. Oh, yeah. So what are the Pisces dream of? We're dreamers. We dream lots.

We have, like, prophetic dreams. We dream about all sorts of things. I mean, often in elevator. Do you have prophetic dreams, like, where you've prophesized? Where I've seen the future of prophesized. Yeah, but in really, like, low-key kind of lame ways, like something all, like, I'll dream of something breaking. and then it breaks or like that's just not my travel agent by the way still hasn't retired so this was

not prophetic at all was it no oh i thought you had okay maybe they were thinking of and then you said that i like i got to prove them wrong i'll stick around for a couple more years i'd like you to ask your listeners though for the people who i'm often having terrifying airplane dreams that's my like terrifying on an airplane on an airplane always always is the when you're on the airplane or is the dream you're in bed in the dreams on an airplane oh great yeah I'm in bed the dreams on an airplane. I thought you were dreaming on the airplane. But if I'm on an airplane, I'm like sleeping with one eye open.

I'm scared the entire. I'm always like, every time the pilot breaks in the air or whatever he does in the air. Oh, I don't know, breaks, but you know that favorite like dips down. You know, taps the break. Everybody wake like that? That thing. I spilled my drink.

Yeah. And elevators, I'd be curious because I talked to another friend who has elevator dreams and she has the same thing where when I'm in an elevator and she's the same thing for her. It goes sideways. It turns on an angle. It like skyrocketed up or plummets down. Oh. Yeah. I have a regular dream where I think part of this is a normal dream, but part of it's not that you're somewhere and you're naked.

Yeah. And nobody else is. But I'm like, get used to it, everybody. This is the new thing. I'm doing this. And so people are like, put on clothes. I'm like, nope, no way, man. This is where I'm going for now on.

I think it's a very positive dream. There's a very positive dream. Self acceptance. You're like, this is who I am. Yeah, that's like a big stress dream of like, oh, I'm naked somewhere I'm not allowed to be. I'm like, I'm naked somewhere I'm not allowed to be. I'm loving it.

And I got a homework ado. And I can do that naked. I get a lot of just like the next day I'll just be out and about and I'll be like, I'll see a piece of paper. and I'll be like, oh, I think I was filling out forms in my dream last night. Filling at forms. What's your rising sign? What does that mean?

How you present to the world. I'm going to guess your rising is something in the like, you got to be like. Do you need to know what day of the week I was born? I need to know what time you were born. I was born at 8 p.m. on Monday, December 1st, 1980. 8 p.m. in Canada? In Vancouver. In Vancouver.

Yeah. APM, APM. I think, like, the sort of heuristic to figure it out is, like, if you say sun rises between, let's say, five and seven in the morning. So you go, it's going to be sad. The sun had sad, I'm guessing. Right. But if you were born between, this is so boring. You can edit it as far out.

You know, we'll put it in something about sensitiveine toothpaste. Okay, perfect, perfect. Between five and seven, you say, okay, then you would be a Sagittarius with Sagittarius rising. If you're between seven and nine, you'd be sad with a, hold on. Fuck, guys, this is a great. This is correct. Is Carle born. I'm going to try to find it before you find it.

Between 9 and 11, you would be an Aquarius rising between 11 and 1. You're going to be a Pisces rising. Between 1 and 3. Aries, 3 and 5. I have filled in 2 of the... Touris. Information 4. 5 and 7. Gemini, 7 to 9.

I'm guessing you are a cancer rising. I'm guessing. Okay. Or Gemini. You're like Gemini or cancer. No, not Leo, I don't think. But one of those three. I will put money on Gemini, cancer, or Leo, and I'm going to say probably cancer.

You have an ascendant in Leo. Leo, okay. Yeah. There you go. Yeah. Gemini Cancer Leo. Now, have you, do you get readings done? Do you get?

I have had a reading done for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Did you feel like relieved after or like, oh, now that I've got to watch out for these things. Because that's what I'd be the most worried about. is like, oh, they're saying, okay, this event's going to happen when. Yeah. Just be careful of spiders.

Yeah. Kind of like that battle circulars. They plan to see it in your head. And it's like, oh, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. No, I haven't had anything like that. Like, it's mostly like things to look out for.

Is she like, oh, this would be a good time to do, you know, start a new venture or like. But I actually, I kind of can't remember much. Do you remember the TV show venture? Was that a CBC business? Maybe it's a, is it even a show or is it a show or is it a, A segment on the national. It might have been... It's like economic news.

Like W-5. Yeah, the passionate eye. Venture. Oh, my God. There was a passionate eye from when I was a kid. And it was about the sex trade in the Soviet Union. And it was, I just remember the name of it. Prostituki.

Prostituki. And every time I hear prostitute, I think prostituki. Wow. That's amazing. Wow. The listeners not from Canada, the passionate I was just, CBC would just show a documentary. Yeah, like a half hour long documentary. Oh, an hour sometimes.

Would it be that long? Let's check it out. It's still on. Is it really? Yeah. You could tell me, because all I know, I know the National's still on. Yes. I know, I don't think W5 is still around.

Or maybe it is. I think it might be. The fifth, the state. Oh, yeah. Those get those often knock around the same part of the line. Yeah. And then this was all stuff that like when you're watching TV as a kid, you're like, oh, fuck. Yeah. I'm not watching this.

Yeah, but then I would. I watch the national. I watch 60 minutes with my mom every Sunday growing up. Like we would watch 60 minutes and you'd learn about the Audi 5,000 that. Do you remember that one where the car, when you had it on break, it would accelerate. Oh, the pilot does lose that way. Yeah. That's right.

Is that where we get the expression? I'm outy-five thousand. Probably. And then you get Andy Rooney complaining. Oh, big time. That was my favorite part. Yeah, that was always the comedy bit at the end, right? And I thought, because like that, as a kid, anything that skewed comedy, I was on board.

So I was like, this guy is funny for old people and therefore he's funny. Therefore, I'm going to learn everything. He had books that came out. I would rent those from the library and read his rants. So you were a Rooneyhead. It was a real rooting head. Wow. And then he, I don't think he was drummed out of the industry.

I think he just died. He was a very old man. He got more and more cranky as he got older. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was more and more perfect. And what was it? Would he take a product and break it down, like why it was bad?

Or what was he talking about? It would just be, you know, like it would be a thing that was a trend. Like people don't go to the movie theater anymore. And then he would have like two minutes of kind of, not a rant, but kind of he'd go like, well, in the movie. Like, you kind of have this long... They put the popcorn. They put the butter on top, but I'm not just eating the top.

Right. That is exactly Andy Rudy style complaint. Wow. They call it two-ply toilet paper, but where's the other ply going? Allow me to make any sense. He had a lot of, like, you know, fun turns of phrase. He would dunk on products. What was the guy?

Morley Safer? Morley Safer. He was the old guy. Was Morley Safer? No, who is it? Harry Reisner! Where are these names coming here? This is like the periodic table.

Wow, how do I know this? It was Harry Reisner, I think. Harry Reisner, yeah. Morley Safer, Diane Sawyer. Mike Wallace. Mike Wallace. Yeah. Was Morley Saver.

Who had an earring? Was Ed Bradley? Yes. He had an earring? Definitely. Maybe it was. Harrison Ford has an earring. Yeah, Harrison Ford was one of the 60 Minutes crew.

Wow. He'd interview the wookies and such. I was, of course, a 2020 guy. You know, when I fell out of BuzzFeed test, it said that I was a 2020 kid with Hugh Downs and Barbara Walters. That's fancy. And John Stossel, it was Friday nights. And John Stossel used to have a segment.

There was kind of a rip-off of Andy Rooney's called Give Me a Break. Give Me a Break. And he was like, yeah, you know, these new camcorders, they say they're so good, give me a break, he would say. Yeah, John Stossel. And then he got his. own show or he took over 2020. Yeah, well, no, I feel like John, yeah,

was John Cignonia's? What would you do part of it? And then he got his own show after Shark Tank. I haven't gone out on a Friday night. Ever. Were you guys raised on TV, too? I was full on Lachkee Kid. Yeah.

And there was no TV boring enough that I wouldn't watch it. I think like I would sit it out, golf, you know, news, news hour, anything. As long as it was on TV You had more than one channel So there was always something opposite golf I know but sometimes it would be other golf But yeah time of day It might have been like yeah

There was like I was talking with a friend recently About Battle of the Network stars And I lived for that Because then it was all the shows you watch Battling each other And you know there was like NBC was cool then I think Yeah And it would be

I really want them to take out CBS I was invested It would be like Missy Gold versus like... Who's Missy Gold? Missy Gold is, what's her name? What's her name? Tracy Gold's sister. Oh, yeah.

From Growing Pain. She was on Fantasy Island. Okay. And she played like some, a devil who had like flames in her eyes. It was Missy Gold. Wow. And they had Howard Cosell would sometimes, I don't know if he was always the announcer, but he would introduce, you know. I just remember him saying, Cookie Elise Beasley, who was the like,

secretary from moonlighting. Oh, wow. And for people who don't know, it was a show where you would take stars of different shows. Also news programs are all fictional shows. No, I think the whole gamut. And then they would compete in like...

Three-legged race. Yeah, canoeing. Yeah, they would be kayaking across the pool at USC. Yes. It's actually like a great idea for a show. Like, it's just an extra... There's just too many networks now. Yeah.

Love to see it now. Yeah, the Food Network. Or, yeah. Oh, I'd love to see the stars of the Food Network. Yeah. Or Battle of the Streaming Service stars. Good old-fashioned Tug-O-Wore. I love a Tug-O-War.

Yeah. My kids had Sports Day last week, which is a springtime memories. Yeah, yeah. Did you have Sports Day growing up? For sure, like the one where you get the badges? No, that's Canada Fitness. Oh, I had Canada Fitness. Sports Day is like they divide the school into...

like colors, so you're red, blue, green, or yellow, and then you do sack race, three-legged race, that thing where you spin around on a baseball bat and make yourself dizzy, a sponge race, egg on a spoon race. Yeah, we had that. A bunch of relays. I think we did. You get a hot dog and a long john.

Fun. Yeah, we did tug of war, but I was watching the television show The Pit. If you watched The Pit. Oh, I've only seen one episode, but I found it really compelling. It's very compelling. and there's is not a spoiler. At one point somebody comes in because they were the back of a tug of war

and had the rope wrapped around their hand and oh what damage it. I mean that is the dumbest way to hurt yourself is trying to like anchor a tug war. I would jump on any tug of war like if you said a tug of war's happened. If you said let's go tug of war now I'd be like I'm fucking in. Like I would

love to be part of a tug war. What was your technique? Just being part of it. Just the unity like that feeling of like we're all pulling together. My, I just had, like, I was never the good person. I was just somewhere in the middle. That feeling of when you're making progress. Oh, God.

Yeah. And you're, take another step. Yeah. And they're all heading towards the puddle and you're like, yeah. Or you're like, sometimes I would face the opposite way. I'm like, what if I walk forward? Yep. And then I'm reinventing the.

Then mentally I'm winning. Anyway, that's what's going on with me. I sleep on the other side now. What's going on with you? Well, this weekend in Vancouver, just outside of Vancouver, there was an open house at the Vancouver landfill. So I went, my wife and I went and made an afternoon of it. We went and saw the landfill. Wow.

Yeah. What is that entail? Well, I saw this on like Facebook or somewhere online. I was like, oh, it's open house at the Vancouver landfill. Well, Graham will be there. And I was. So what is so? Why?

You've gone before. Is that right? Yes, but never went on, they tick us kind of like on a small tour. You just been sneaking in. Yeah. And humping the trash. Dave has said on the show in the past that I'm the Anthony Bourdain of trash stuff. Oh, shit. You know your trash.

I love my trash. And this was deluxe. They had bus tours and they had like, they had a whole fair for kids. And then they had a bus tour. To like play with the broken toys. Yeah, here's a bunch of coat hangers. But have you ever been to a landfill before? No, no, no, no.

Well, I've been to a dump. Yeah, so this is like a dump with the aim of make, it has to be turned back over to the city. It's like leasing it to be a landfill. So they turn. But don't tell the city that is full of garbage. Yeah, yeah. Well, if they drill too far and stink will just come out on the mountain. But yeah, they make these giant hills and they make like basically make a park out of.

Like there's grass on top. Grass on top. Grass on top, bushes, flowers. Yeah. And underneath is, like, not organic garbage. It's, it's... Like batteries. Well, like, not, like, it's...

It's bag, plastic bags full of... Not necessarily. They have things that are in the ground for gas off, like, off-letting because there is so much methane for breaking down organics. Mm-hmm. But once they've got, like, Like to a cap, like it's where the top size we can be, they covered in a plastic so that nothing can get out or in. And then they plant a soil on top. And then they, like, they all just look like nice hills.

Like they don't look, they don't look weird. They look like a normal hills. And is that the thrill? Like to be like, wow, I would think that's just a normal nice hill. Well, they took us up to where like, the thrill. The thrill was getting to see the machines like push tons of garbage around. That was. And here's the thing.

Did it stink? I was in a bus, so I didn't smell it. But here's the coolest thing. Yeah, buses never stink. Because, obviously, like, seagulls and other birds, crows are attracted to the garbage. They, this was the coolest fucking thing. They have hawks that they've trained to circle the air around the dump to keep those other birds away. And the other birds, one of the other birds are eagles.

Eagles are always going there. So it's hawk versus eagle. Oh, wow. That's fun. So, like, anywhere there was a post or anything like that, they were all covered in hawks and eagles. And it was, yeah, I never, and it was funny, too, because it's like, with our solutions to garbage are still, make a big pile of it. Yeah. And we've got birds we don't want.

Get some birds that they don't like. Sure. Are we, we not worried about hawks taking over the city? I mean, look, if they want it more, then it's hox city. So you're on the bus. Is the bus packed? Because it's the social event of the season. Oh, it's packed.

And what's the demographic? Like, are most folks, like, would you, are you like, oh, these are my people? A lot of couples, a lot of people with kids. Okay. And when you tell your wife, you want to do this. Yeah. It was her idea. Oh.

Was it your birthday? No. She just said, she saw it somewhere and she was like, oh, we should go do this. You've gone, the two of you have gone before. Yeah. But we didn't get to go, like, into where all this stuff was actually being like, handled. Okay.

So we went kind of in the perimeter. So this was the first time, like, seeing these wild machines moving trash around. You guys are making eyes at each other. I'm just curious if, so your wife, like, this is something, I mean, I listen to a podcast on a thing called preference falsification, where people say they like a thing that they don't really like to get along. Oh, interesting. And so I'm curious.

Do you both have the same, like, you both really like trash? You're like, fuck, baby, it's trash. Like, let's both go. Or is she being like, I know this means a lot to. Graham, I'm going to suggest it, and this is a really nice thing to do. It would fall in that category. Okay. Yes.

But she's fascinated with my fascination. Okay. So she's watching you while you watch the track. People generally, like, marry a person that they get along with. So I think, like, if you like trash, then your partner's probably not that far away from it. Yeah. But it was, man, the birds, that was wild. I had no idea that that was a thing that, because I just assumed seagulls would be, you know, ruling the whole land.

Yeah. They got these awesome hawks. It was also a stand that had a baby owl that you could stare at up close. That sounds so cool. I wouldn't have, I'd never would have guessed that there was trash tours. Trash tours, yeah. Free popcorn? Free popcorn, free candy floss.

Okay. Are you British now? What do we call it? Cotton candy? We call it cotton candy. Can't eat it. Who reminds me too much of playing in fiberglass at my like friends' unfinished basement? Getting like, hands all chuffed up.

It's sticky. It's sticky. Candy floss is a really funny name for it because you wouldn't floss with it. No. Cotton is the better name for it. Carbon candy. Barba Papa is the French name, which means dad's beard. Really?

That's awesome. In Quebec and France, men have big pink puppy beards. But isn't Papa Papa Papa like a character? Barba Papa is like a series of weird shape. Word shape blob people. Yeah. Yeah. Where's that from?

Is that French? Pretty French. Pretty French. So, yeah, if you guys have any questions about the dump, well, they don't like calling a dump, they like calling a landfill. What's the difference? I think the dump is the centralized where everybody drops the things off. And then the stuff gets sorted, and then whatever needs to go to landfill, goes to landfills.

Are there bears? That's a very good question. The hawks take care of the birds. Yeah, the hawks bears are, there weren't necessary. They were deer and there were coyotes. They say they have lots of coyotes. But they didn't bring up. You say coyote or coyote?

They said coyotes. But yeah, coyote is kind of the, that's the way, right? Yeah, that's how I say, but I've heard both. Yeah. I've been to a couple of dumps where you can take stuff, like, you know, they'll see an old chair that you're like that. Give a bag, take the bag. Exactly.

Is that the policy there? Like, are you allowed to leave with something if you see something that you like? At this point, it's all like, that's the stuff that's going to get just buried. Okay. So if I'm going to kill a guy and bury his body, I find out what day they're putting the last, like, plastic over top of all a garbage. And you sneak a bit. I sneak in a dead body. And then they ventilate the stink out.

Yeah. And you're a free man. I'm a free man and no one's ever going to ask about my missing twin brother. And your carpet. What happened to your nice carpet? But yeah, it's a, like, so we have like zero waste centers, which are like, that's where you could go, like, I like that thing and take it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, really?

Yeah, like, you're not supposed to, but you could, they're not, they don't own it or anything. They're just like, you put it in the right area. I think that's great. Yeah. It's like natural recycling. There's no infrastructure. You just sort of go grab the thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Into your own hands. And they'll throw everything else where, get it in its individual. Recycling. Yeah, I've gone down to the electronics recycling place to, you know, get rid of an old printer or whatever. It's very mind-blowing that you're like, wow, like you look at some of the things around and you're like, like, four years ago, that was $6,000. Now it's trash. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Trash is fascinating. Yeah. Like that you think, and it's all stuff from a time period, you're like, all of this is from 2016. Like you can tell. Okay. So you know it. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, it's a good place to give that.

I miss those beige electronics. Yeah. Back when like, you know. Like a microwave would be beige. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You don't see that around anymore. Bage electronic. No. They should bring it back. Yeah. Was it like, I guess it was standard most electronics were black, right? Or silver.

It depends on the era. Yeah. I mean, in the 50s, they electronics would be wood panel. That's true. And then kitchen electronics were sort of like that sort of musterty color and greeny color. Or like appliances, they would, yeah, there would be avocado. Avocado, yes. Yeah.

So it's like that's where you do that. When I was a kid, my uncle was a contractor. So we would go with him to the dump to like drop off drywall and stuff like that. Oh, lucky. But then we could run around and grab whatever we wanted. And so there would be just like this crazy mountain of fridges. You could just go and open all the doors. I remember I was once.

This is, I guess, unrelated. When I was like seven or eight, all the neighborhood kids went into this construction site. And they had, they were like, they found these like balls of clay just amongst the dirt. And they would throw them at the house next door. Uh-huh. And I really couldn't tell it. There was reading a ball of clay and a rock. Yeah.

And I threw a rock at this house. And the people were like, came out and got mad at us. But they must have been just like the whole time being like, I can hear the kids throwing clay at our house. But, you know, I. I wanted to end a conversation with a bunch of kids once too. Yeah, but if they throw an actual rock, then they're in trouble. I've never heard of this before.

Did you own up? Did you take your punishment? No, we were all throwing crap at someone's house. So they were like, at. Like, at the time, I was like, oh, man, I fucked up. I shouldn't have, I should know the difference between a ball of clay and a rock. But now, thinking back, if someone was throwing balls of clay up my house right now, I'd be like, I definitely hear that. Yeah, I'm calling 911.

I hear every creek. I've got you on camera. Yeah, but like a construction site, that's catnip to a young lad. Did you ever do anything like that? On a construction site? No, but I was, I kind of just did what I wanted as a kid, I think. That's my memory anyway. There was a university campus right near my house.

And so I would go and, like, just run around the campus and whatever. I think that was, I don't know. And getting a friend to do, like, think, like, put roller skates in your hands. And I'll hold your legs. And I'll get in a wagon. It will go down. But you go first. I was always doing weird shit like that.

That does really, it seemed like a thing a kid would put in. Yeah, you're going to end up with frozen shoulder. Yeah, exactly. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard? Yeah, sure. Ready go. Knock, knock. Who's there?

We got this. With Mark and How? You knew this one. We can't put that out as an ad. We just did new episodes every week on maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcast. Now it's hewn in rock. Hewn in rock? Yeah.

How do you hew something in rock? With a chisel. There's only one. One Hugh in rock and it's Huey Lewis. And the news is we got this with Mark and Howells available every week on maximum fun.org. I walked right into that. Wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like. That's hard to sell in a promo like this.

So we've enlisted the help of piano rock superstar Billy Joel to tell you about some of the topics we've covered. Take it away, real Billy Joel. Kitty Rock's been on legs on. Worceston Shire. Circle time. Sega, Dreamcast. He's a salad tower. of annoy. Keep me up eight time capsules. Wainsworld, cheese, bulls, Wallace Stevens, stonk, gone, fun-size, almond joy.

They didn't stop the podcast. Except that's not true. They didn't. 22. They didn't start the podcast. No, they actually did. That was a fact of bib. Listen to wonderful every Wednesday on maximum fun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks, real Billy Joel. No problem, Griffin. Overheard. It's a segment of the show where we hear things and then we tell you all about them. And we like to start with the guest. Carolyn, you haven't overheard. Okay, I have, so I jotted some notes down just before I got here.

I was like, okay, I got over here or something. Which we were saying you've actually got real notes. Yeah. You've jotted stuff down. It's fantastic. Again, it wasn't the best. So the one I'm going to go with the one, not this one. Because this was just people talking about the way, oh, when did we go to Kurosau and Aruba?

Oh, I got to figure that out. That was, oh, was that the other year or the year before? It says it's 17 on the island. Now, you have your whole life you can draw from. If you can remember one from... Well, so I remember one from the past. So I'm going to draw on that one. And I'm going to scratch out the stupid shit I just listened to in a cafe.

It was just one sentence, but it always stayed with me. There was these group of friends talking, women, middle age. And they were talking about a friend, I guess, who wasn't there. And they started off about how great she is. You know, she's so great. She's, oh, my God. She works so hard. she works just like a little rat.

You know, she's just like a rat the way she works. And I was like, you fucking bitches. Like, I want to find that friend and be like, those are not your friend. Yeah, yeah, I guess what they're the same behind you. And they're like, oh, but it was all couched in like, no, she's wonderful. Yeah, just like a little rat, you know, you give her something and she's just going to chew away at it to that little thing. And I was just like, you are horrible. But I found it oddly compelling.

Like, oh, yeah. Yeah, so that's my one. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. She's so busy. Like, well, I guess a rat. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, some other road. And I'm not going to look up other ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, but rats, when you think about it, are very industrious. They are. And apparently they're very kind, very intelligent, hardworking. Yeah.

They are industrious. Yeah. Like my friend. She's such a little rat. Yeah, just a rat. Just trying so hard. Just always achieving her goal is like a fucking rat. Yeah.

She's always snitching. And I wonder how rats got involved in that shorthand. Yeah. Like, rats don't snitch. They don't tell on anyone. Yeah, why is it called? You're a rat. You're a rat.

I mean, instead of just being insulting. Oh, a listener is running to their keyboard right now to say. It's actually because. They used to call them ponies, but they're... When a rat would show up, it was evidence that you had cheated on your wife. And then we're telling on you. I like this in that scenario. The rat is somebody telling somebody that he's cheating.

That's the rat. He's wearing a wire. Well, this is not going to be useful to our mafia case. It's awkward, but. See any rats at the landfill? I didn't see any rats, but. Well, those hawks are eaten well. You know, they are.

And this is the house across the alley from me apparently is like condemnable. They're selling it. It's just going to be a tear down. But apparently it's full of rats. And so the other day, Sally was looking out the window. And I think the real estate agents had brought in a couple of ratters, a couple of fat cats. Oh. Yeah.

Real estate agents have cat access? I can't imagine who else it would have been. But are they tearing down the house? I think so. You just tear it down and the rats will go away. Yeah, they'll go into everybody else. Exactly. My girlfriend has a tattoo of a rat on her shoulder.

There's lots of tattoos, but a tattoo of a rat. Okay. Because she grew up with a rat, I think it was blue or something. But she loves them. Oh, sure. She's like, no, rat is a beautiful, you know, animal. They're smart. They're lovely.

They're adorable. But I know that that was not the intent. No, I know. Works like a little rat. I respect that people have rat pets. Yeah. I don't ever want to see one. Actually, when I see someone with a rat as a pet, I don't mind.

Like a video of someone with their pet rat. Yeah. But if I came in and I had a rat on my shoulder, I was like, guys, do you mind if I just bring my rat? Like, I would have reservations, but I'd be like, all right, let's try. I'm absolutely so weak. You could do whatever you want. You can smoke in here. Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

But you know that already because I'm a Leo ascending. Yeah. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah, this is an overseen running out of overheard. We're 952 episodes in. I don't know if I've used this one before. So I have a thing on my phone when, if I get a call from a number that I don't recognize, the person has to identify themselves.

Oh. I don't know when I set this up, but it's great because. I'm like to leave a message you have to say your name or like if you're trying to get through to me yeah my a little like three dots will go up at the top of my phone and it'll be like uh hold on and then you'll get a message being like this is Jeff from the amp repair place right oh well and then I answer I can choose to answer the phone okay or I can choose not to but then it'll like it comes up as text as well so like I don't have to listen to it and this is when I got I do not have this on my phone. I've never heard of this. Yeah, this is excellent. Check it out. It's on the phone.

Okay. How do people know to do this? It's, I'm not sure. I've never run into it. But I get so much spam, so many scam calls that it's turned very useful. Does your phone ever do this where it's somebody's leaving a message? And it says from maybe. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I love that. Yeah, I love that too. I live for that. I'm like, maybe. Maybe Terry, huh? Okay, maybe Terry. I was trying to Google what the thing is called, but I just Googled phone identifier. Oh, boy.

So, okay, well, anyway, so it just, I got this little two-sentence text about someone calling me, and it says, hi, David. This is Gerard, former. con Subaru I it's almost so cool so cool so I don't know

what it was but I think he's from the Subaru place that wants to service my Subaru it's overdue yeah

it's no doubt what kind of Subaru do you have I have an outback Oh an outback I have an impreza yeah I used to have an

Impreza is the smaller one yeah and it's old it's like two things And people love their superiors, right? Love it.

Love it. Yeah. I haven't had any trouble with it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have a Honda. Honda Zerb.

Yeah. And I love it, but a fucking tree fell on it. Oh, shit. Yeah. It was really bad. Like in camping? No, I was at the cottage. I was at a community center, whatever, blah, blah, blah.

And I was, you know, the comedian Elvira Kurt? Yeah. Yeah. So she, her girlfriend and I own a cottage together. And so she was up with me. And we were walking back. towards the worst is I'd parked my car in the normal parking lot and then I was like, oh, I feel like I'm too close to other cars.

I just feel like it's going to get, someone's going to open their, I'm going to move it. So I move it to like another place on the dirt road. Anyway, we're walking back to the car, walking slowly about to get the water jugs from the trunk, you know, to fill them up with water. And we're talking and all of a sudden we heard like, creak, we got to the car and a fucking tree. Like, I think a dead branch hit another dead tree and it went smack. down onto the car, we jumped back.

She thought I was dead. Like, she's like, don't run that way. Like, she thought I was about to. We missed by, like, a hair, by a hair. Like, we could feel it breeze by us. Yikes. Yeah. Anyway.

So you're in the market for a car. So, yeah, so what year is your... The 2018? We bought it used. Okay. Yeah, I got mine from... My mom got a new car, so she ponded off on us. Okay.

My in-laws have, they bought a new CRV. They couldn't decide whether they were going to get a CRV or a Toyota RAV-4. And then they went to the Toyota dealership and the guy was telling them all the features. And you have the map thing, what's it called? GPS. Yeah, you have GPS. And that's free for the first three years. And they were like, really?

I thought they were always free forever. Yeah. Like every car, apparently, Toyota is just going to start charging for GPS. Yes, I'm and everybody all. They got the CRV. Good. Smart. I don't want those stupid computers in the car.

I hate it. I hate all that stuff. Oh, you should see my car. It's got nothing. Oh, good. It's like stepping into another time. Yeah. The radio kind of doesn't work, air conditioning spotty.

No backup camera, I could tell you that right now. That's the only thing a screen's good for as far as I'm concerned. Backing up? Yeah. The backup cameras. Helpful. Yeah. Sure.

Yes. I'm sorry to hear. about your car. That's, I mean, did everyone laugh? No. We were, oh,

sorry. Sorry. We were so trauma. And the craziest, just before it fell, we were walking slowly back to the car, and I said,

Tell Vera, did it feel homophobic? Like, I was asking you, when we were in the community center, did it feel kind of like homophobic?

And she was like, huh, and she kind of looked up, like the way a cartoon character would kind of like look up to think. And she's like, huh.

And then it was like, holy fuck. It was nuts. And anyway, we were fine, but For a second, I was like, you were asking each other, you were being homo-fired? I was also like, do you think the tree was on the phone? Sorry.

What was homophobic about the community center? There was just a weird sale in there. And I don't know. Oh, yeah, sure. And so we were sort of contemplating. But luckily she looked up like a person character, like, huh. And what, how did you, like, was it totaled? Well, the back was kind of, so the fender or whatever,

that thing is, you know, that fin or whatever on the back. So there's a dent on the roof and then the thin kind of fell off. So we duct taped it all back up. And so it's all drivable. Yeah, for sure. But it was gross. And then all the guys come with their fucking, like, what do they call chainsaws? Yeah.

They come rushing out of the communities. They're with chains up. Everyone was so happy to have. This is what we were in practice before. And they're like, zzzzz. And they're carting it away. Why do I have to take pictures for insurance? I've got to have my chainsaw with me at all time.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a chainsaw. Yeah, they all had. Everyone was nice. Someone brought us a glass of water. I was like, okay. No one's humble. Where's this? I'll never say.

Private. Ontario. Graham, do you haven't overheard? I do. And it's courtesy of being at the landfill. It was waiting in line to get the shuttle back to the parking lot. Yes. And there was a dad with two or three kids.

And they were saying, what are we going to do when I get home? And he's like, I guess we'll have dinner. And then one of the kids. It's just like, and I'll go to bed. And he's like, I like that. Yeah, maybe we'll go home and you go straight to bed. That sounds pretty good. And then he said and like, Sally and I laugh.

We're like, ah, ha, ha. And then his wife came over and he was like, hey, she wants to go to bed. It's just goes. And mom's like, hmm, sounds pretty good. They all were in on the, in this fun. It was fun. Oh. As a parent, it's the greatest.

Yeah. And this guy, the, the, he seemed like a goofy guy, but he was covered in some really scary tattoos. Like of what? You know, of skull things, sword things. Truth justice. In like face, neck hands. Yeah, neck hands. Yeah, not face, but far from.

Yeah, well, you know what? Even tough guys like an early bed time. Yeah, sure. No, I love it when it's always such a tease, like, you know, have a big day with the kids and they fall asleep in the car on the way home and you have to carry them up. And you're like, let's get them right into bed. But then they're like, I think I could do a few more hours. Yeah, yeah. But it was fun.

Both of the parents picked up on the same bit. Yeah, yeah. Oh, well. Now, we also have overheards written into us by people all over. If you want to send one in, you can send it into SBY at maximum fund.org. And this first one comes from Lori in Amherst, Massachusetts. I was teaching a research method. lab for psychology majors discussing random assignments of participants to experimental groups.

To demonstrate that random assignment doesn't always work out well, I use the example of college students getting randomly assigned to a roommate freshman year. A young woman in the front row said loud and exasperately, yeah, tell me about it. Try living with a makeout artist. What? See how you like it. What even? What is that? I guess somebody who's bringing new people in all the time to make out.

Just to make out in college? Yeah, and also like, you're, what's the artistry? Are you trying different ways? He really. Just a real good kisser. But like, you know, if you're good enough kisser, you're probably going to get, things are going to progress. Yeah, they're like, no, no, let's stop. No, I'm.

If you're only making it to make out, you're not that. When I was in, uh, when I worked at a coffee shop, my early 20s, a woman that worked there, held a makeout party. Oh. And it was for all her friends. And it was the best. It was the most fun party.

Yeah. They had like, like, pillow setups and everything. You could make out if you wanted to or you didn't have to. But it was, it was like being in, like,

high school again. Do you, you guys remember when you knew you were a good kisser? When you're like, oh, I know how to make out. Oh, that's waiting for government.

Sorry, bagging the table. But do tell me when you were, No, no, I just, I'm curious, like, I think, you know, because before you have, you just think, oh, it's this thing that people do or whatever. And I remember at first, that's what it felt like. And then realizing, oh, it's just like, improvising. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You just feel it out and, like, you know, go where it goes.

Yeah, and you figure out a move. And you figure out your classic move. And I just remember it dropping into my head going like, oh, fuck, right. This is just a, it's just, I sound like such a. No. I can word out, but it's a vibe, right? It's not a... My friend in high school, Graham, his name is Graham also.

We are girlfriends compared notes on how we were as a kisser, and then she gave him the notes, and then he passed the note to me of like... Oh, and how was the note? The note is, you drool too much, too much drooling. Drewal too much. Yeah. Which, when you're brand new to it, you don't know. Yeah, you don't know. You know control.

What age? This would have been Let's say 13, 14, something like that. And we Yeah, so we got notes. That was the big note. Yeah.

And also maybe I remember him like putting on something that was boring to him on TV to try and make out with her. And then when it switched over to Star Trek the new generation, the next generation,

he was kind of like, Oh, actually. Actually, I'm going to interest it. This is a good one I mean, you really had to be a fan If that distracted you from making out This one where data is all Robody

But you know, if you have a group of friends All kiss each other Get notes together See what could be worked on And find out, yeah But you know, that's not exactly scientific Because you get tired as the night goes on The tongue gets a little

Then hold and make a party weekly Do like a weekly And then a rotation Sure, but we can't be adding new people No, no, it's got to be the same people I need commitment. No one's going to do the Camino, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You said you were going to have them to make a party.

This next one comes from Michael from Lynnbrook. My girlfriend and I were to... Where's that? Oh, it's a small town from a horror movie. Yeah, exactly. The show, they were at a show that was from Australia. At the top of they introduced themselves as, from Australia. During the show, they referenced

Australian things. They mentioned the Australian cities they were from, and most of all, they clearly had Australian accents. After the show, we were out in the lobby, and we overhear a woman's like, oh, my God, it took me so long to realize they were from England. Then a performer from the show who happened to be in the lobby said,

Australia, and the woman goes, even longer then. That's great. Oh, do you think it was the thunder from down under? I think it was puffer. the penis. Boy, they were so great at their shows. Yeah.

On our anniversary, my wife and I, we had too much a drink. And then we were debating what puppetry the penis was. And she thought it was like shadow puppets. And I was like, no, I think it's actually them like manipulating their junk. That's what it was. It is, right? But in shadow or actual? No, no.

Like, for real. Yeah, for, like, they're like pulling the foreskin and stuff. And it's like, it's amazing how soon it just turns into a piece of plastic. to see. Like, it just really is. And this whole show, it's an hour show. We watched the whole thing. I wonder when they realized they were good at manipulating for people.

Those Australians. This last one comes from Kira, parts unknown. I was at the grocery store. Saw mom and her kid doing some shopping. As I was walking by them, her son, probably around eight years old, brought something to the shopping cart and said, Mom, can we get this? It looks delicious. I look over and see he's picked up.

It's a no-name brand chicken broth. Mom! Look what I found. It's fun. It's when you're a kid, it's fun to get a thing. Yeah. To feel important. You said I get to pick one thing.

I pick chicken. There's a, I think it's like a internet video that my wife showed us. She brings it up all the time. It's a phenomenon called Mama said no. Or mommy said no. So when you're in the grocery store and you just see like a box of nerds in middle of the bananas. You're like, Mommy said no.

This is a place where a kid just put, brought something to mom. Oh, that's great. Oh, that's really funny. Yeah. I, um, boy, in the grocery store, do you go back if you, if you get something? Yeah. And you're like, oh, actually, I don't need this. Do you go back to where you got it?

Depends on the thing. Like, I won't put fruit on a shelf that's, you know. Yeah, not going to do that. Yeah. But I'll put it somewhere in the private. They got somebody working around. I just put everything in the freezer. because I hit there last.

Just dump it all the space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I remember as a kid the thing that we would get, and it was like a ticking time bomb was like juice concentrate in the like. Oh, yeah. Like you had only so much time before it started melting. Like it wasn't, you know, like you had to get it out of the car.

First thing in the freezer as fast as possible. Yeah. Neapolitan. Or the ice cream that came in the cardboard. Yeah. So it didn't actually have a proper container? Like it would just melt out. Like it was just covered in paper, basically.

Like in three colors of ice cream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love beets. Oh. The root vegetable. Sure. Yeah. And recently I discovered you can, they sell them now in just like pre-packaged vacuum sealed things next to the raw beats.

Yeah. And they're cooked. Okay. And skinned. Uh-huh. And then they're just in a little plastic container. And so I've been buying those in the refrigeration. refrigerated area of the produce section.

And then, like, a couple of weeks ago, I was grocery shopping. And they also sell them just at room temperature in the, like, Middle Eastern food section. Huh. So I, the same package. Yeah. So I'm, uh. Like, same price? Yeah.

Same product. Same UPC. Huh. It's also weird. I keep ketchup in the fridge, but you don't have to because it's in restaurants all the time just sitting on the table. You know, but they're going through so much of it. No, you want to keep in the fridge or it gets that metallic taste, that old

ketchup taste. Mm-hmm. You know. Oh, because you're turning it over so fast. Yeah, so fast in the restaurant. Yeah. Gotcha. Gotcha.

Because you're going to like the fry restaurant. I'm going to, yeah, a La Belle Pitot. Yeah, you're going to, uh, hot dog. Frenchies. Hot dog tonies. Yeah. Um, but yeah, my ketchup's in the fridge. Okay.

I don't get you guys to freak out. I'm into Japanese mayo right now. Are you guys into Kupi? Cupi, yeah. Oh, yes. It's so good. Are we going to have been fun. Yeah.

I fucking love. It's like an Unipi 7 to me. They're so, it's so good. It's pretty good. It's just, um, what is the, what's the diff? It's got MSG. Oh, is that what is? Apparently.

Oh, no. But emig's fine. MSG's fine for you. It's, it's, like, a natural, it's a thing that naturally. There was like, uh, the not liking MSG is actually racist. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Listen, I, like, because I try to make those samis, you know, the Japanese samis that are in Tokyo at the 7-Eleven.

Yeah. What's this? It's like an egg salad sandwich that you make with Kupi Mayo, a little bit of milk, some like butter on this white bread and like, what else? Eggs, yeah. Right. Is there a crunch factor? Is there a celery or a pickle? No, there's no crunch factor.

It's like a smooth, like beautifully smooth. That sounds like heaven. Yeah, and you mash the egg yolk together before you do the white all together. Anyway, Coupie mayo and it's coming to Canada. It's in Canada. Is it already? Yeah. Like the Samies?

or just the mayo? They say Sammy. I'm calling it what they call it. They, no, they, they, they, they, they, like, 7-Eleven. Say Sammy. 7-Eleven has them. Has what? They have the Sammies.

Then they, but I, like, they can't be the same. Have you been to Japan? No. Oh, okay. I've just learned of the sandwich and I, I guess I'm called. Pardon? You've learned of this what? Oh, sandwich.

I called it a sandwich. Sandwich is true. Sammy. Sammy. Wow. I've sent in an overheard last week and called, said sandwich. Sandwich is fun. Oh, yeah.

Speaking of calling in overheards, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us or send us a voice memo, send that voice memo to SPY at maximum fun.org, or leave us a voicemail at 1.844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh.

SpyPod. One. Like these people have. have. Hey, everybody. This is Ben from Collingland, Ontario, Coton with an overheard. I was at a music festival, and you saw a mom kind of huffling by after a younger kid. And right as she walked fast that she just called out, keep it in your body.

No freaking wig. I love that. And it's, you know what? It could be any number of things. Yeah, but it's clear. It's clear what the message is. don't, you know, shit on the side box. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, a couple times I've seen in the park. I think it's funny every time I see it, somebody just holding a baby over a garbage can as a piece. I feel like that's lucky when you see it. You're like, yes, that's seven years good luck. Over in the park? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can go in the grass.

Absolutely. Just somebody holding up a baby peeing is a lot of fun. Yeah, they should have had one of those of the landfill. To give way the ox. All right, here's her next phone call. I was in a store, and I just heard a mother tell her very young child. You're such a consumerist. Right, love the show.

She's such a consumerist? Yeah. Yeah, you just care about buying stuff, man. Yeah, you get this kid a copy of no logo by Naomi Klein. That's right. Yeah, do you guys remember ad busters? Oh, yeah. I was all about it.

No, I don't think so. Really? No, wait, what is it? It was a month? Monthly magazine. I don't know how frequent, but a magazine, sure. But it was dedicated to, like, battling consumerism and advertising culture. And it was started in Vancouver, and it was across the country, but it was like...

If you ever wanted to see, like, a cartoon Ronald McDonald with a skull. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Any kind of, like, the Coca-Cola logo, but a skull. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You know, like... Was it like garbage pale kids? No, no.

It was like a... It was for adult. It was like consumerism, uh, trying to battle consumerism. Oh. Yeah. Never heard of it. And it was like, had a sense of humor about it. And it was like, had cool kind of like collage pieces and, yeah.

And it was that you could get this magazine. I knew someone who worked there and she never brought it up. Is it? Is it like a BC thing? It started in BC. Let's look it up. Ad Busters. Check me out.

out. Yeah. Yeah, it's a... I never read it so that, like... I would read it all the time. I thought it was so cool. Did you love Mad magazine? Yeah.

Sure. Yeah. Born and raised on... Yeah, same. They would have like... You know, yeah. So there you've got an absolute vodka thing that says absolute impotence. And the vodka bottle is...

Sagging over. Yeah. It was that kind of stuff. Okay. Yeah. It was like, you know, it was Vice magazine for... Yeah. It feels very mad, though, issue.

Yeah. It was, and it also was like pre, like it was early internet. So there was stuff in there that you couldn't find out about any other place. Yeah. Because I remember being like a really popular blog as well. So anyways, ad busters. Check it out. Yeah, check it out, you consumerists.

And final overheard, here we go. Hello, Dave Graham and possible guest. This is Dave from Kenora Ontario, voice memoing in with a, overheard. I was at a local farm recently, and I heard a gentleman ask the farmer if his chickens ever laid fertilized eggs, and the farmer said no. He only has hens, no roosters, and they only use the eggs for eating. After the farmer walked away, I overheard the gentleman say to himself, kind of under his breath, oh, so it's the roosters that lay the the fertilized eggs.

Off I go. That's like right out of a set down. That's perfect. Yeah. Good timing. Very funny. It's a little, you know,

it might have been the same person from the Australian English thing. Traveling the country. Someone just doesn't get it. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Carolyn, thank you so much for being our guest. Thanks for having me, you guys.

Where can people find you online? What are you doing? What can they see? Well, coming up soon. is the show's slow pitch. It's going to be on Crave. It's a lesbian, like, queer softball league comedy. Love that.

And fantastic creators. And the cast is fantastic. I got to work on, I think, episode five. Okay. That's a good one. Yeah, it's such a good one. I play a scamming internet influencer. Love it.

Who's just like ripping people off as a life coach. And somehow infiltrates the team. and tries to coach them to become better players. But yeah, the cast is fucking hilarious. They're amazing. And I think it'll,

I think they just did the upfront. So I imagine it'll be on air soon. Okay. Yeah, slow pitch. Slow pitch. I have nothing is also on Crave. I have nothing's on Crave and Peacock. Oh, nice.

Yeah. It's a lovely show. Very, very fun. And Baroness Fonsketch is on Jam? Yeah. And Baroness Fon sketch is on jam. I think. Yeah.

I don't know. find it. Yeah, somewhere. It's out there. I'm sure there's like a million YouTube. And there's clips, yeah, YouTube or like Instagram for sure. And then... Yeah, and if you've never heard of the show, you've never seen it. Do yourself the service of checking it out. Yeah. Thank you again so much for being our guest. Thanks for having me. Thank you, everybody out there for listening. If you're out there, try one of these Japanese sandwiches that have the fancy new mayo and the sangis. Sangis, sorry. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting yourself. Maximum Fun

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