Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 953 - JJ Whitehead

Episode Date: June 23, 2026

Comedian JJ Whitehead returns to talk handwriting, World Cup fever, and a captivating singer-songwriter. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka And he's Graham Clark And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself And welcome to episode number 953 of Stop Podcasting Yourself My name's Graham Clark And with me as always is a man who He's keeping the front door open Keep the back door open

Getting that cross breeze, Mr. Dave Shumka Yeah, doors are now closed We're now podcasting and we're doing air conditioning It's summer this first episode of the summer Let me just check the calendar Yep, first episode of the summer. Yeah. Oh, you're getting my...

Are you going to drink an Arnold Palmer? Oh, boy, what's on my list? Yeah, what is on your drinking list of this summer? Just drinking? Oh, okay, I thought my entire summer list. Oh, I mean, we'll go over that, you know, in a bit. Okay, drinking list. Arnold Palmer.

Yeah. Just iced tea, just lemonade. Yes. That's about it. Not a frosty beer? No. Park beer? Come on.

That's illegal. our guest today returning guest to the podcast. It's been an awful while. We're super glad to have them back. It's JJ Whitehead. Hello. Hey, guys. Thanks for having me.

And congratulations. 953. Holy moly. Yeah. Yeah. This is the milestone we never thought we'd make. 953. Yeah.

Who would have known, you know? That's mental. It is mental. Yeah. There's a lot of podcasters out there, you know, bragging about episode 50. Yeah. We hit that big landmark. Here you guys are in your little basement, cubby hole.

It is true. Churning out 953. Those people with 50, though, those are good shows. And this is it, right? We end at 9. That was the overall goal, right? 9. Yeah.

I should have said, you're a final guess. Yeah, JJ, you've been such a big part of the show over the years. I'm so excited to be here for this. We've, well, let's get to know. Get to know us Now when you came in the door And I had to remind all three of us That you've been here twice before

Right, yeah None of us knew that I remember the first time you were here Isn't that great how none of us knew that And that would have been a different Different house Different you maybe Wouldn't have even had children yet

This house feels familiar This is a different house Oh, no wait This was the house you would have been here here last time. Okay. Okay. And there were children last time. And then, but they haven't seen them. They're around somewhere, right? They're haunting this place. I saw a hiding, I think I saw a hiding moving lump on your couch. I feel as a parent, I'm like, I can't encourage that. And yet as a former child, oh, I would. Please don't make me meet the guests. Yeah, fair enough. And now all he does is meet the guests.

I know, it's tough. It's like life really stinks up by you sometimes. So, guest, for people who don't remember your whole deal, JJ, what's your whole deal? Nobody's going to look. That's not even patronizing it. Considering what we've already discussed before we turned the mics on. We're like, yeah, nobody knows my deal, which is great. It's kind of, as a Gen X comedian, that's what we wanted when we set out our careers.

We loved that anonymity of getting on stage. and getting off. Yeah. And now you have to do so, you have to podcast, you have to do all kinds of things. Oh, Clips and all sorts of things.

So, so I don't know where to start with my identity. No, I'm a Nova Scotia. I started in 98. 98 from Nova Scotia. From Nova Scotia.

From Nova Scotia. I started in Scotland. Oh, you're starting to Scotland? Old of Scotia. I started in Scotland. Yeah, I started in the original Scotia. And I spent 17 years in Britain.

Okay. Yeah. And we met at the Nova Scotia Comedy Festival. Yes. Yeah. back in the day. Halifax comedy.

Yeah. So I would have been British-based then. And you lived in London? I lived, I started in Scotland, then I moved to London, then I moved to Manchester, and then back to London. And now I live in Los Angeles. So you went, uh, you were there for how long, eight years? 17 years. Oh, 17 years.

All's good. Yeah, 17 years in Britain. Huh. Was that like jarring to go from Britain to L.A.? Uh, sometimes, but overall, I think I was ready. I think I was ready. to leave. I think it was ready to leave Britain.

Yeah. I don't know how you guys are in Vancouver. We're great. I'm always just getting to know Vancouver when I get here, but I love London. You know, I loved it. Considered myself a Londoner, but I was at that point where I was like, maybe it's time to switch things up about 10 years ago. And then Jim Jeffries offered me a job.

So I came, that was my ticket to Los Angeles. So it was a good transition to go from the London comedy circuit or the British comedy circuit. to the Jim Jeffries show in L.A. So it was a good, pretty good transition. What do you miss? What do you miss about London? Pratt.

You miss Pratt? Costa. Is that, is that great? Do you mean Pratt Amman Jeh? Yeah. Dave calls it Pratt. Oh, my. I miss the gloominess.

I miss the misery and the gray. And it's so good for comedy as well. Sure, yeah. Just the, you know, just the disposition of all the British people. Yeah. defeatism. I think Americans, this is what I feel. You're missing in LA.

Andos? Oh, my gosh, that's a terrible place, too. You only have, you have all the terrible places in your mind. Yeah, I always say, I think Americans think life's a competition. Oh, sure. And so you got to best the person next to you. And they very much feel that way. That's kind of the American thing, isn't it?

You know, we've got to win. I think the great thing with Britain is they feel life was a competition. and they've already lost. Generally, and that just makes them great people to be around and drink with. They're not going to, there's not going to be a comeback. I mean,

Britain had it to, it was such a good empire. Yeah. So I never set, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it's,

I love London. I think like, yeah. Did you find when you moved over there, British crowds better than Canadian crowds? Or just weird or, or what? Well,

I started in Scotland. Oh, right. So that was a tough one for me, which I will say, yeah, I think British crowds are harder because they heckle more and they're more, I guess they consider it playful. But it's a gauntlet if you're a new comic. Yeah. It's kind of training at high altitude. You're like, holy cow, they're coming from the left.

They're coming from the right. They're just yelling at you in an accent. You can't understand. Yeah. Yeah, that's got to be hard. Yeah, heavy drinking audiences. So I didn't start, I didn't work in Canada. for the first time until 2003, I think, was my first trip over.

And then I spent about six months in Toronto when I got a comedy now. I got a comedy now. Ah, yes, comedy now. So that was my training. And I would say the audiences were just really polite and nice. And I spent a lot of time on a on stage going, when does it get? Is there a Canadian, like, a comedy now for people who don't remember or who aren't from here was a series of comedy specials.

Yeah, that CTV put on for five, ten years, I don't know. Yeah. Oh, I think there's 10 or 11 years. Yeah, there's probably like at least 50, 60. Everyone on the same big stage with like a salmon colored background. Yeah, what an ugly, it looked like the inside of a jawbreaker. The inside of a, you know,

or like a, yeah, what a, yeah, a job breaker. Let's go get a job breaker. A job breaker. A jobberer, gobstopper. Yeah, that's it. What is the, um, is there anything now? Do we do stand-up specials on TV? No, everybody's putting them on YouTube. Yeah, it's migrated, hasn't it? I know Crave put out some specials.

Oh, that's right. And then, you know, everybody's on roast battles is the TV one. Everyone's on Air Fars. Air Fars. They just announced some new company that's doing a bunch of specials. One of them, past guest Erica Sigurdzen is doing a special. Oh. But, yeah, comedy now was like, in their first two seasons, it's like, let's round up the best of the best.

And then it just, over time, they're like, do you have 20 minutes of material? How deep does Canadian showbiz go? But it's, you know, it was pretty cool. That's a pretty big highlight for, you know, if you're a young Canadian, 20 years ago. Oh, well, I'm sure they're still showing it, actually. Yeah, I saw mine after the New Year's ball drop in 2024. So just two years ago, two years ago, I'm sitting there at my parents' place. New Year's, we're having a little drink.

And the ball dropped and the coverage kind of ended. And then on came me. And we were just sitting there with her rum and eggnogs. What the heck is this? It is like they get young comedians and they say, do you have 20 minutes that you're happy watching forever? Yeah. Yeah. And sign away all the, you know, which still happens.

That still happens now. If you, you know, people out there that are making the great footage making it look good, they usually make you sign away everything. And you back then you got paid. If I recall correct. exactly about $3,000? That sounds about right. I was going to guess four.

Yeah. But like, inflation. Yeah, exactly. If it was today, it would be four, I guarantee you. Yeah.

Um, but there's a YouTube channel. You can go, there's a bunch of them put up there. There is. Yeah. But like, and mine's on my,

you, I put mine up on my YouTube channel. Now, when you watch it, are you like, what the hell was I doing? Or are you like, hey,

these bits kind of still got a little. Oh, I think I was doing the best I could for a guy who was only eight years in. Oh, sure. Yeah. So, yeah, I was all right. And I did a lot of Canadian.

So that was nice. Yeah. That was a nice gold house. That's how I like to ring in my new year. With Canadian. Yeah. Some 2003 Canadian. Yeah.

Red Green show or something like that. Yeah. But when you're like for me coming over from Britain and spending a little bit of time in Toronto just to get the material together. Yeah. I was kind of excited when I did all the Canadian stuff. Oh, I was. It was fantastic. and they shot,

I feel like the night of mine, they shot like four different ones. And one of them, a guy, when I think it was ever on the podcast named Todd Allen, had a big stain on his shirt and they let him do the whole thing

and then told him afterwards. Oh, man. And they were like, we got to do it again. So he had to come the next night and do it all over again. Oh, man. I've got one of those as well.

Does Toby Hargrave still live in Vancouver? Yeah, he lives, not in Vancouver. He lives on the, island oh no up the coast great guy so before I share this story I want to be clear I don't want to come across his by but Toby showed up

in like it wasn't chipping pepper but it was a tie-dye it was like it was basically chipper pepper it was but it was a very expensive shirt very expensive and Toby started doing his set and they had to stop because it was sweating through

in a color mismatch kind of way and I remember watching I think it was me and Lachlan Patterson on the side. We were watching and we're going, oh, this isn't, oh, it's all sweating through. So they stopped and then they said to Toby, said, we might have to restart this.

Do you have another shirt? And I remember, I just remember Toby going, but this is really expensive. And he really went to bat for how expensive it was instead of like how, which says a lot about Canadian comedy, because I think that's what a lot of us would think. Well, I'm doing a big, big TV

special, big thing. I better get expensive wardrobe. Yeah, yeah, I got to look my best. And you're trying to explain to a young comic. It's not the cost of the wardrobe here, my man. It's how it's looking on. It needs to, like, not be sweating through. It would be really funny, though, if he, like,

actually, when we edit it, can we do it out of order? So I go from being, like, super sweaty through to normal, back to super sweaty. Anyway, I love you, Toby. I haven't seen you in a decade as well. For whatever reason, they made me wear, like, a random pair of shoes. They were They found.

Yeah. It was. It was just like, what did you want to wear? Yeah. Just a pair of brown shoes. Yeah. And they were like,

no, it had to be black shoes. I wasn't a fan of that. Yeah. Uh, who was in charge of shoes. She was in charge of wardrobe. And yeah,

she made me do a regret of something that I regret. There's a thing. When I, when you look at it, I showed up in like these baggy jeans. I showed up in casual clothes. Yeah. But with some sharp wardrobe.

Expensive? I just bought some, it wasn't expensive. But it was just some black trousers and some. But it was sweat wicking. It was dry fit. Yes, it was very, very wicking. I had some Adidas gazelles and a black shirt that I was comfortable in. I'm a little bit superstitious.

I think a lot of us comics are too. It was all gig worn, ready to rock. Right. Yeah. And then she insisted that I had the, that I, she doesn't like elbows. Sure, who does? Oh, who does. She wouldn't let me roll my sleeves up.

And then she didn't, she wanted me to wear my baggy jeans. So when I look at it, it looks, it looks terrible. It barely looks of the era even. I'm there in these baggy kind of lumpy dad jeans. You know, you want to see a 22 year old coming in dad jeans or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird how they do, like, different shows would have different, like, I feel like on Letterman, by the end they were making comedians where a lapel might.

and just like have their hands free. Yeah. Right. Like they're doing a TED talk. Yeah. DJ Demares told me a story about that too. He did. He's done Conan.

Yeah. I think. And he said he got some really good advice because he didn't realize that his wardrobe was blending into the background. Right. And whoever gave him the advice, you know, helped him from being like the floating head. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Good point. Because like Letterman's set would have been kind of black, black and bluish. Kind of. I don't know, man. I feel like it was a blue. who were. See, there it is. There's the old comic boy.

The fast fatigue. I think he was blue and Jay Leno was red. I feel like he had a curtain and David Letterman had just the backdrop of the city. Remember David Letterman? They had a screen, like a mesh screen that they would lift up for him. And he would like sprint behind it, past it every time at the start of the show. Man, I miss TV. Yeah, man.

TV used to brought. Is that why he had to retire? Because he couldn't do the sprint. Yeah, he was poor his ACL. He just had to have that indifference. I don't know, man, here we go. Did you, I know there's all sorts of, like, specials and, and guest spots and stuff like that that you can get in Britain and Australia. Then I'll see clips from people that kind of work in those.

Did you get anything like that? Like, something on TV set or whatever, like anything. Like, I know they show clips from, like, the Melbourne Comedy Festival and stuff like that. I've got a couple of the New Zealand Comedy Festival. I've done their Gala a few times. That was good for clips. Yeah. Nice.

Yeah. I think I've aged out of that though. But there are the clips of, yeah, like the comedy now and actually the New Zealand gellas and stuff. I look at that and I'm like, wow, this is a very young, young kid, short, spiky hair and all that kind of stuff. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. I can't picture you without this long flowing blocks. I think we're pulling up the comedy now.

Yeah. We got to see these pants. We won't play it, but maybe a little bit. All right. Well, I called them dad jeans. They'll probably, they're mom jeans. There we go. Oh, you got a full hour.

Yes, I got a full hour. I, uh, yeah. And you were Jason John Whitehead back then. Well, I've always, I changed Jason John Whitehead. I had to change it to JJ because of working in America because Americans will get your name wrong on purpose. Right. So I had to.

I had to start. Yeah. I feel like they would always be like. it's James James Johnson Whitehead I'm like come on All right

That's You're being too hard On yourself Yeah those pants Look pretty good Those pants look great Well you gotta I would love to see a

I'd love to see a bit of elbow But And the subtitles here Say all right applause for mom And of course I was so I nailed it with the salmon

Maybe it's peach Yeah But it looks Yeah Jolly Rancher That's what I was trying to think Yeah It looks like the job.

I said gobstopper or whatever. But it's... Gobstopper also works because of the weird light pastel kind of... It's, gosh, it's a bad-looking set. Yeah, I had to close it because I was ashamed of what YouTube was suggesting what we watch next. Yeah, it is weird. We definitely had to phase out the colorful backdrops in these comedy shows. Well, they like, they had one set, and they used that for the entire run.

And the, like, because they... the late 80s, early 90s, it was a brick wall. Like, every comedy show was a brick wall, or maybe one was, and it just became iconic. And then comedy now would make it, like, that was your background, but they would have the intro of the show. It was all, like, in a back alley, and they would, you'd be, your name would get spray paint on the wall. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man, what an embarrassment.

Hey. Hey, we prefer to say it's of the time. It was of the time. That's right. It was of time. So I, you know what? Sometimes a comment will come up on a comedy now and it'll, they don't understand the era. And it'll be a fan of Joe Rogan or something.

This guy took it from Joe Rogan. And I have to reply, this is before Joe Rogan even did his first podcast. Yeah, I wonder about that. Now, I've always wondered about that too. Why is so much of your material Overlapping with Joe Rogan's podcast? But I do, I find that when you're watching young comedians, they're doing

material that they don't know has been around since the 80s. Yes. So they're doing like this, all these premises that you're like, do you not know that these are, but they're so confident in them too? Yeah. I'm not going to tell them. I don't want to be like, hey, old timer.

I don't want to be that. No, you just have to kind of be nice and go, keep working on that stage presence, kid. Keep working on that, yeah. You got some good stage presence up there. That's a good one. What are the bits that, like, it's funny, though, like, I remember people doing UFC jokes, when UFC became big about, like, are these half-naked men grappling? Is there anything?

What's really going on there? But that was like, could have been a Greco-Roman wrestling joke from me. 2000 years ago. Or a W.W.E. Yeah. Back when it was WWF. Yeah. That was a pretty common.

Yeah. Yeah. You're going to watch your men in tight grapple with each other again? Yeah. That is a solid bit. Maybe I'll try something like that tonight. Yeah. It all shows up again.

Yeah. Oh, man. It's so funny. Like, because when you were growing up, like, were you into stand-up? Did you always want to be a stand-up? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And so what did you, because it wasn't as accessible. Because we had 4 o'clock, 4 p.m. Canadian television, we had comedy at Club 54 and just for laughs. That was your, so you get home from school. Well, if your kid like me, that was it. I threw on, I don't remember what was from three to four, but I probably got in the door from school. Yeah. Latchkey kid around, right to the TV. You know, about 325.

Yeah, right to the bowl of cereal, right to the TV. And four o'clock, I believe, was just for laughs. and then 430 was a comedy at Club 54. Oh, yes. That, uh, yeah, which nobody would understand now. No,

well, this is the thing. And I've put this, uh, just out into the ether, they have responded. They have. And they said there's,

there's some places I can see. And I've watched the ones that are on there on YouTube and they're, they're great. But you can't, you can't get them anywhere. Like nobody's uploaded them. So right. Yeah.

Existed in that time. And then never since. Yeah. Isn't that a funny thing about the, the comedians that are just about seven or eight years older than us. Just one, just that extra little generate of the goofy tie generation. Yes.

And that was the cool. You had the person, your personality was in your tie. Yeah. It was goofy tie. Yeah, the goofy tie. That was,

and that was a lot of comedy club 54 and stuff like up. But they don't, yeah, they've, they don't have the technical ability to, to cut their old sets into reels and stuff like that. That's true. They need a grand.

And then by the time, even by the time they dig out the V. Jess. They're like, okay, I've got to take this down to a store and get it converted to a digital following. Oh, the store closed. I thought that I didn't stay in business. There was a place in the mall, mall on Main Street, the like a little one that the IGA was in that did it.

And now there's a place, I think, on Camby that does it. Yeah. But I don't, and it's such a strange little rinky dink place because they'll just put like a table out with like old tapes and be like, we do this. Yeah, yeah, you guys. I mean, to be fair, I probably do have some tapes there. I wouldn't mind updating because I don't have the ability to play a VHS anymore. Would you ever watch the file? Just one,

maybe once for kicks, you know? Yeah. You know, what was I, what was I using as a promo tape back in the, right? In the aughts.

And I do, obviously, I've cut little reels out of a comedy now or something like that. Yeah. Sure. Still use it. Yeah. And I do have a couple of VHS.

My, my career started at the VHS. Oh. It started at the end of the VHS. Comedy at Club 54 was like a... It was like a five-minute sets? Yeah. And it was like a few sets during...

It was a half hour. And so there would be at least... Maybe 10-minute sets. Yeah, there was at least two, if not three. And some of these guys had probably... They were all sweating through their shirt. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

Nobody had figured out. And they were not expensive shirts. And the audience was at table. as well, if I remember. They were drinking, drinking, at tables. Yeah, and it's still there. It's still operating in Niagara Falls. Yeah.

Well, I didn't know that either. And the guy who was the host is the guy who owned it, Ben Guyette. Right. And he would, at the beginning of the show, he would tell like a street joke. And then he would welcome the first act. And then at the end, his sign-up was, Mom, I love you. That's great.

Yeah, it was Prime TV. But just seeing. like what? Stam, like, because I used to watch A&E's evening at the improv. Caroline's comedy hour, comedy on the road. Yeah. Gala's, but it's funny because, like,

I was talking to a woman. Ooh, this sounds interesting. And she asked, how long you've been doing stand-up for? And I said long enough to have had a MySpace account. And she said, what's MySpace? So I was like, oh no. And you're like, do you remember Dane Cook?

And she was like, remember him? I'm married to him. Yeah. Yeah, so it's, uh, times of change. Yeah, it's, well, it's like we were saying earlier, it's, you don't expect things to move on. Without you? Yeah, or as quickly as they do to go from. Oh, yeah.

Like we were saying before the show, I've worked for so many people over the the years and a couple of them passed away during the pandemic. And even as they hand the reins of their little empire down to the next newbie, if they don't know who you are, you're right back to square one. Yeah. And same thing at the comedy store in Los Angeles. That was my biggest, not a gripe, but it's just a matter of fact. When we were writing the Jim Jeffrey show from 2016 to 2020, I felt like on top of the world

because we'd finish the day of writing. Then I'd go down to the conference. comedy store and the bouncers knew my new my new who I was they give you a high five when you walked in little high fives all that kind of stuff and and and then uh you know a few and then the pandemic happened yeah but now I go down to the comedy store and it's like they don't know who I am I got to get the next break for them to notice or another thing to notice you don't know that the world turns turns over yeah like I wonder because on the it's that the comedy store that has all the yeah names written on the outside yeah how many names have been painted over during

years. Because there's limited space on that, on that walls. Yeah. And also they, they try to promote the door staff quicker than, than comics who are,

right, you know, or like touring comedians. And there's nothing, nothing that makes a better door person than a stand-up comedian. Yeah. Yeah,

it's, so what, you're in town, you're doing a club out in New Westminster. Yes, the house of comedy. And it's my first arm. I've never,

this is, another new relationship. Yeah. Because, of course, I only ever used to do the Vancouver Yuck Yucks, which I guess doesn't exist anymore. I don't know when it closed down. It closed down to the pandemic.

Well, it changed to a different, it became the comedy mix. Oh, no, the other Yuck Yucks was on Camby Street. Oh, did, how long was that open? Oh, like eight years or something like that? The Camby one was open eight years? Yeah, it was a long time. Local comics learning about their own local comedy clubs.

The one that's five blocks from here? Yeah, it was there for a long time. And then, yeah, went out of business during the pandemic. And there was another weekly room that had been around forever. That went away with the pandemic. Yeah. So I haven't, because I haven't been here for ages. And then just luckily enough, I don't know how I've come into contact with House of Comedy,

but I actually messaged them like a month ago. Yeah. And just went, hey, you might have known my name before, but you don't know it anymore. And then I guess I'm replacing, I'm replacing some. from like the Kill Tony podcast or so. This weekend you are? I'm expecting possible combative. Who the heck is this guy?

I wanted a guy who had to Google the guy, right? So when they went. You didn't have to do it. I didn't have to, but I wanted to know what I was walking into. They were like, can you replace or, you know, we just happened to have a weekend free. And I was like, you know, I was very much, I've never worked for you guys or anything. So the timing must have just worked out. He must have to get a cancellation.

Checked me out. Went, all right, come. That'll do. Come and do. You're replacing such and such. I can't remember the guy's name. But I immediately Googled him. And there was a lot of like, I really liked his second minute, but I didn't like his third minute.

I'm just reading through this, like, passionate, passionate fandom around this kill Tony podcast. But I'm like, it was all about. So all I know is this guy, I think he's done four minutes. Oh, nice. Over time, but, but oh my, like, I mean, it's a bigger fandom than mine. Sure. I don't have anybody. Well, I thought his comedy now was great.

The funny thing about watching Kill Tony is that there's everything from somebody who's like lightning quick and so super prepared for the minute. And then people who've never done it before and don't even finish it a whole minute. And it's, uh, it's wild. And they show it all? Yeah. Huh. Yeah. They, uh, I got a while.

watch one of these days. I've never, I've never seen it either, but I've seen clips. Yeah, but there's kids out there who get home from school every day at 4 o'clock, have a bowl of cereal. Right? It's their thing. It's their comedy at Club 54. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. We have to try to explain to them. You know, back in our day, we used to watch comics we've never heard of, do six or seven minutes. But the thing is like, the format of it is. Gong show. Yeah, it's the gong show. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. But with a panel. Yeah. And it's a, it's a, it's. they did start at the comedy store in LA. Right.

They were there back in the day. And they, like, I imagine that. So, like, it's such a good premise for a show. Yeah. I mean, yeah. But if you're in comedy purist, you do kind of think, oh, this is not, it's not a nurturing, it's a combative way to bring up new comedians. It's not really a nurturing.

Right. Like, like personally, I think probably our era, definitely mine is from where a promoter or a club owner has the responsibility to scout the new. acts in his midst, right? You watch them and everything. And then you go up to that new act and you go, hey, I liked what I saw you do here on the Tuesday night thing. I'd like to give you a five minutes on our Friday show.

And then they come in that new comic, you do five minutes on a Friday. Yeah. You know, and then you get judged by the owner again who goes, okay, that was good, but not great. I'll give you another five. Or if you rock it, they'll go, I'll give you a 10 on Saturday. And you kind of work up that way. And you freak out because you're like, I barely even had that fun.

you do really bad they'll say, I'll give you an hour on Sunday. But you're not open on Sunday. Exactly. Exactly. So that's why I kind of like, the gong show, I'm like, oh, this is just, it's just kind of mean. It's kind of a cruel way. But they do get that full minute regardless. Like, they never, they don't get cut.

Don't get gonged. Oh, they don't get gonged off. They don't sit there and die. Yeah, they've got to do the minute. And then they do an interview with Tony Hintzcliffe, who's always read. I don't understand why he always looks like he's just jogged in the door. He's like so red in the face. And he's black and white and red all over.

Is that right? He's not a newspaper. It's a newspaper, yeah. We guys remember the newspaper? We'd see our generation. We'd get home from school and you'd have to pick up a bunch of newspapers and deliver them. Yeah, yeah. I weirded everybody out on the subway coming here by pulling this out.

Oh, wow. And I was flipping to some notes. Like, oh, yeah. I'm still a hand. I'm still a hand writer, joke writer guy. Same here. I use a little moleskin. Yeah, I, I'm losing it, I think.

I'm losing my hand writing. I'm a phone man. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I don't really write jokes anymore. And I don't, did you, are those in cursive or the? Yeah, and I'm getting worse at it. But like, kids can't read that.

No. Yeah. That's not my problem. That's not my problem. It's as long as they can understand my language, which I mean, that's probably getting there too. Promoters are often like,

hey, can you submit your handwritten jokes to my children? Yeah. You can put it in a doo-tang all the better, really. Yeah, the coil notebook. And this is the thing that happens, I think, to every comedian ever. Have you lost one?

Yeah. And like, did you ever get it back? I, uh, I've lost. some for good. Yeah. But that's like heartbreaker because there's no backup. But I also take photos.

Oh, do you? Yes. I sometimes do. And yeah, I, and I do cue cards. I have some cue cards. Oh, wow. Sometimes so before the, so before a show, I'll pull out the notebook. Yeah.

And then I'll pull out some cue cards. And I flip through the notebook and then whatever premise or joke, and then I write it on the cue card. And then I get six or seven cue cards. And then I have those. Okay. Yeah. And I've lost.

those plenty of times. And people are shocked at my indifferent. It's when they're like, you left your cue cards here back at the club. And I'm like, I don't worry about it. Yeah, you keep that as a souvenir. Who is this crazy man? He must write new material every night. I mean,

I do love that there's some audiences that that's what they assume like stand-up is new set every night. But that's why I would say, I can't get it. If you're writing stuff on your phone, right? I can't, it doesn't get into my head as well. until I've written it with my hand.

It's like when you were in school and I knew people who would they study by like recopying out their notes. Right. And I was like, I'm not interested in doing it. I am 100% that guy. I need to keep writing it out in order to get it in. Is there a favorite letter you have to write? Jay? Jay.

For my name? Cabals? I got a good swoopy. Yeah? It's good swoopy. J. Do you have an autograph? Yeah, I think, yeah.

Do you do dots? Dots? Yeah, you do dots? I don't do dots. What's dots? Between the J. Wait, that. Oh, no.

Okay. No, I just, just big swoops. Big swoops. The J, J.J. and the W. They're all big, upy downy, not Donald Trump level, but just kind of the big scribble. Yeah. Here's a, uh, a pan. I'd like you know, I'd like you know.

Oh, yeah. You want to see, uh, you want to see the big swoopy J.W. This is, this is good. This is why I love your guys' podcast. This is the only way you get to 9.53. I tell you what. It's asking these. Look, if we had, oh, my God, we're low on ink.

Scribble, scribble, scribble. No wonder you don't write. Any more. We can't even find a pen. Let's see how many pins it takes. Okay. What are two? No way.

Yeah. No way. Swoop. Swoop. It is very swoopy. So when you, okay, but like, that is, that's your, and then so if you're doing a document and they say, sign here initial here those look like initials to me yeah that's what's my initial okay if i'm in a rush because if you're signing i could do wow we're yeah i'm gonna hold your feet to the fire on this

whoa you don't even lift that's my full oh that's good that's good looking do you when you sign your name yeah he doesn't even lift his pen at any point oh yeah i live my pen between the first and last name that's what i do but this guy's signing so many autograph no oh yeah that's it That's all that practice. How many times a year do you think you need to sign your name? Oh. I have to sign it every time I check into a hotel usually. You have to sign it, put a signature down.

Do you think you're breaking 100 signatures a year? Oh, yeah. I don't think I come close to that. Yeah, I'm thinking in the more of the 50 to 75 region. I don't think 100. When I renew my car insurance, I do it online now. They don't even need it. Well, that's it, too.

there's a lot of click on the document. What's the auto pen? Yeah. The auto pen signature thing. Right. There's a lot of that. And sometimes I can't figure out how to get that. Because I have a saved one.

Yeah. There is one time where I think I did it in marker and scanned it or something. Yeah. And that exists on my computer. Yeah. Somewhere. And sometimes you'll stumble across. Oh, this is perfect to drag and drop.

Yeah. Yeah. That's my actual signature. But it's mostly hard to find. Yeah. And I think the computer probably runs out of patience with being goes, would you just like us to do it? And I'll like, yeah.

Let's see yours, Dave. I'm interested in, uh, let's see what is the, what is there? Give me the pen. Yeah, which one was it that worked again? That's the white one. This is a muji. Okay. All right.

So we're talking, uh, um, big D. Yeah, this is a little D at the end because I kind of it looks, it looks, oh, it looks like dad, Schumpka. That's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It also connects, but not. I can see what you stopped. I looked at my pen. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. That's solid. You go ahead there. That's a good looking signature. Does anyone want to like...

Now, do you differ from business, Dave? Like, from when you have to sign a... That's true. Do you differ? And then from the one that you're handing out, because I assume... Handing out to my fans? Yeah, to your fans. Because I assume a fan could go, ah, I can counterfeit it. That's true. Yeah. Graham, yours looks like your name is Bill. Bill Clark. Bill Clark. What is that? That's it. Wow, that's a funky G. It's got the top and then it's got the little little churl at the bottom there. Do you think, like, I like it.

You know what? The one thing I can gauge from all this is that our signatures are much better than the new generation. Oh, yeah. Although my dad was impeccable. My dad is my dad. I mean, it still is. It would have been, yeah. But I just remember like, oh, if you like, if you ever wanted to forge your dad's signature, I couldn't come close.

He had the most wonderful, has the most wonderful penmanship. I agree with that too. I think it is generational, though, but I think both my mom and dad have very nice. Like, my Ken Michael Whitehead has KMW and it looked very good and it could fit on a flat line. Yeah. I think we've lost my, we lost the lines, I think. I ignore the line. And you're right.

I mean, my dad's writing is absolutely fantastic. My mom's is completely sometimes unreadable. Oh, right. But her signature was easier to forge than my dad's. So all the forging I did went through her. What were you forging? Graham can't come into school today. He's like Graham out for last period.

Yes, I've seen his test results. Yeah, because that would be the... We love him anyways. When your teacher sends home a bad test or a bad report card, they need signed. It's mostly to see if your parents still love you. So, because, like, yeah, I would never, I never forged anything, but the idea of doing an entire, like, note, please excuse Graham from school as he has a dentist's appointment. That was my way of rewriting and rewriting until I hit the right style.

And then you were like Frank Abagnale. Who that? Catch me if you can. Okay. Or the talented Mr. Ripley. It must be easier now. Because I imagine it's done up on their I mean I just email my parents' teachers

My teacher's teachers Still in school We're disappointed with how you did this on this test dad So my kids would have to I guess break into my phone Yeah, or my laptop Yeah right And then delete my sent mail

So the teacher's going to reply Gotcha Yeah Like, it's, it's, uh, fool's errand. Have you ever seen any of your kids try to write their name? No, my, oh, write their own name? Or sign their own name? Or did you give up early on?

No, my kids are, like, you're not going to need this. In this society we've built. My kids have good penmanship. Yeah. Uh, because they're girls. Girls got it. Girls got it. I remember when I was in school, like, they, they, all the girls had perfect handwriting.

It's true. If you had nice handwriting, it was. It was kind of effeminate, wasn't it? If I... And also, have you noticed that these UFC guys are kind of close to kiss it? I bet you, what would I do in this modern era? Maybe I'd, like, get an email address that's close enough to my parents and just send a message from that saying, please excuse me. A phishing scam.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. Wow, that's got layers. Yeah. It has an email and everything. Yeah. Wow. To get around the...

Because signed wouldn't do it now. You'd have a photo as well. You'd be able to, you know, put a photo up there with the email. Hey, Dad, you did your picture real quick? My friend Phil, he would, because he was chronically skipping classes, so the school had, would call the parents every day when he was missing from classes. And he would sprint home from school, erase the tapes. And, yeah. Wow.

So he stayed completely out of trouble. I mean, eventually he got. busted. We had a robo caller at my school as well. And yeah, I was, I never skipped a class my entire, like, I was so afraid of being in trouble my whole life. I still have flashbacks of getting busted. Yeah. Oh, you got busted. Yeah, I got busted because my uncle was at my house. And I didn't know. So I just played hockey for the afternoon and came home because I knew my parents were out. Right. Whatever. My dad was at sea or military man or whatever. And I just, I'm not sure.

Yeah, well, whatever it was, I was expecting to just be cool. And I come home, came in, my uncle's there, and then the phone rang, and I didn't even think. I wasn't even thinking. And, of course, my uncle answered it. Yeah, he's right here. And my teacher had me on loudspeaker and everything. I was like, I was so busted.

You were really funny. And I still have flashbacks of this. I'm like, oh, my gosh, why didn't I tell my uncle, like, don't answer that? Yeah, he would have been on side if he knew. Totally would have been cool with it. Yeah, that's also a generational thing of like your uncle answering your parents' phone. Yeah, I'm in a weird house. I'll just answer their phone.

Yeah, exactly. I'm a grown-up. I can answer every fucking phone I want. Yeah, it's, I never got busted for skipping because I was strategic about it. I would go on days when, like, I wouldn't be, you know, it wouldn't be a test day or it wouldn't be like a day where you would not just be able to just like get. lost in the shuffle. Yeah. If I had like a class, then it was a very small class, I wouldn't go on that day.

But if it was all like big classes, or if there's Jim, uh, they got out of a way to skip. That's exactly how I felt too. I just, I didn't account for the uncle factor. Yeah. He just happened to be there up in my kitchen making a sandwich. God. Um, your, your father was at sea. He was a military.

Military guy, yeah. Military fisherman. Yeah. Military fisherman. Students fish in the ocean Yeah, well this is the early 90s It was a Gulf War Oh really?

So if I think of my high school days Yeah, my father was in the Gulf War When I was in high school In Victoria, British Columbia So yeah, that's where Base, but yeah, so he So when I was in grade You ever been a 10 and 11?

You ever go to the straight of hormones? Yeah, yeah It's not even straight. It's not even straight. And that's comedy Club 54 good right there. They call it the straight of horro moves.

Have you noticed it? It's bending. Crowd's just laughing so hard. Oh, man, it's true. Get that man another shot. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever get shots sent up to you on stage?

And do you or do you and I drink them? I definitely used to. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't seen. It doesn't happen as much anymore. No.

People aren't drinking as much as people are not drinking more. It's really hard to. The young, the young folks, they, uh, they don't like it as much. Yeah. And there's like, uh, the industry is in shambles. Yeah. And it's like, uh, because I think it's because pot's legal. So it's just like easy, like easy to do a thing that's cheaper.

I also, I think I have my theory, which is I think third or fourth tier, which because they try to say the kids are just more health conscious and all that kind of stuff. But I think it's because there's cameras everywhere all the time. Everybody's got a phone with a camera and stuff. And drinking can be embarrassed. You get messy. Yeah. And I don't think kids want to be.

I think when you're young, it's a, it's going to be embarrassing. It's going to be embarrassing. When you're busted, like a little too drunk outside a bar or whatever. Grinding out a lamp post. Because I also think they're nicely, they're nicer dressed now. They're all fitter and nicely. dressed. I'm like, where are the slabs? I'm like, oh, it's because you can't. Where are the slops? If you're a slobs send in an email.

Slops unite. I was hear from the slabs. But that's, I think that it's, the risk of embarrassment is too high now. Yeah. Because there's all these cameras and stuff around, which I think sucks, you know, because you should be able to just lose yourself, lose your inhibitions. But like, drinking is expensive, too. And that too. Yeah. Like, yeah. Very expensive. You can rack up a hundred dollar bill like yeah very easily which is crazy when you talk to bar owners and stuff i had i was in new zeal working through new zealand and a couple of the bars i did shows in are struggling a bit and i remember talking to somebody about how expensive their drinks were and he goes yeah but it's because nobody drinks and i'm like shouldn't you why don't you go the other yeah yeah yeah

make it cheaper yeah people to show up and drink did you ever like like like bucks off i remember being smart it's been a long time but being in bars where they're just like and no we're just bringing free shots for everyone yeah and i'm just being confused like well are they how free are they what's in them poison just take one yeah yeah the next one's five bucks yeah yeah you like the taste of that one well but i think it is because it's expensive and also because you can just you can get an edible and just hang out all night and not have to worry about a hangover just look at your hand Yeah, man. Does anybody ever tell you that theory about, like, artists like Jim Morrison and how, like,

because he was always a mess, right? Jim Morrison used to be like puking on himself. He was a slob. It only existed as stories afterwards. Like, he's how messy he was. But if all the phones, cameras had been around, the doors may not have had a career and a few other artists. Yeah, other musicians. Heck, some comedians from Club 54.

Probably would have got judged. Yeah. I always wonder, like, because there's a plethora of videos of people falling off a thing drunk or like falling, thinking they're sitting down and they fall in a river or whatever. Why do they post those? Like either the person themselves or their friend is posting them. Yeah, right. And I kind of, I get it if the friend is like, this is hilarious. I'm going to put this up.

Half the videos on the internet. I'm like, why did you post this? This is a private moment between you and. That river. My favorite is the, uh, there's this Scottish guy and he's like trying to put his bank, his like ATM card, but he's super drunk. And he's like in the middle of the day, like struggling to get his ATM card into a piece of metal, which is not a bank machine.

And the guy walks by and says, uh, that's not a bank machine. It's a fence. It had to be a Scotsman. Yeah. And he says it with his accent, which I can't do. Yeah, no, but a great accent all the same. Oh, God. Dave, what's going on with you?

Well, it is, I got World Cup fever. Oh, sure. Speaking of the Scots. Yeah. The Scots are playing right now against the Moroccans. And the Tartan Army. I thought it was great the way they took over Boston. Yeah, and drank them dry.

They drank them dry. Yeah. That's what, Americans need to rethink their definition of alcoholic now. There's so much. I've been trying to tell them for years living in the country. Like you don't understand. Yeah.

When somebody's like, I'm an alcoholic. I make, I make bad decisions when I drink. We all do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do most of my good stuff. Taxes I get wasted.

Yeah. You're supposed to, we all meet when we're drunk. You're supposed to, that's the, that's the secret to dating. None of these dating apps. It's get drunk in the vicinity of the girl you're attracted to.

And that's, That's how you mate for life. Yeah. Yeah, the, I forget I was going to say, never mind. We are in a city of the toasting games. Yes. There are people are like marching to the stadium and singing songs. I went to the fan festival.

Oh, yeah? Yesterday, yeah, for Canada's game. How was it? I was done there. I thought it was great. Was it the one in the amphitheater? It's outside the P&E, which I was spelling as P ampersand,

P and. I couldn't figure it out. I was like, where the heck is this P&E place? It's like, it's the P&E. So, yeah, like, well, look, I'm getting in my phone, P&D. Well, everyone's got these phones now. That's what makes it so hard to find the P&E. Yeah.

My phone could not find P&D for, I thought Parks and Entertainment, it's the Parks and Entertainment area. You know, parks and entertainment, I'm looking for P&D. And I eventually, solved the riddle. Nice. And remember that it's P-N-E. I-N-E.

And yeah, it was great. So is it on like, I assume, gigantic screens. It was a music festival size. Yeah. It was, they were, it's where they play like, that's where like weird owls going to play.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In the new amphitheater, yeah. In that little amphitheater place. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, the, you had to pay to get in there.

You had to pay to get like the seated area. But there's a free area. But there was tons of free areas. Yeah. Tons of free areas. Lots of places to sit. It's funny. I'm sorry.

So I'm, you know, I'm, I'm just watching all this at home on my couch. But I feel the energy of the city. Yeah. Especially if you're taking a train anywhere, then you really are feeling the spirit when it's hundreds of burnt face. Like, absolutely. Yeah. Just like red, red and white jerseys that I didn't know. How do all these people have these jerseys?

They're more soccer people than I've. And I guess Mexico had. a game last night too because they were all showing up at the P&E grounds as all the Canadians were already quite celebratory and yeah it is it is cool that it's like bigger now it's 48 countries normally it's 32 and it's cool that you just get to see like um like little groups of uh hey uh what do you what's up yeah like the way the scotland or uh or holland yeah i guess all the dutch are in texas or something But even just in town. In town, you're just like, hey, that car's got a bunch of Portuguese flags on it.

Good for you guys. Yeah, it's really nice. Because all my years living in England and stuff, I was used to that. You all was used to Euro, like European soccer championships and World Cups. It's weird because it's not like the Olympics. Like the Olympics has more countries, but no one's like driving through the streets being like, did you see this Moroccan guy who throw a discus? We love that.

Yeah, but they are for football, you know, in the rest of the world. They're all, you know, causing traffic jams. We love it. We love the ball. We love the round ball. The way it rolls, the way it flies. But you started to realize, no, none of our big four sports in North America have that kind of. No.

Like, even when, like, we just had the World Baseball Classic in the summer and I think Canada did okay. Oh, we were going mental over it. Oh, yeah. Did I miss something? Was everybody down at the P&D? Yeah. Chearing on Team Canada. The one that was weird is when the Raptors won the NBA finals,

and they were like, this is Canada's team. And I was like, not out here. Oh, yeah. I can't stand on the West Coast. You know, he's driving around with Raptor flag or whatever. Like, whir! Right. Exactly.

Yeah. I think in Toronto was bedlam, but, you know, take your word for it. Anyway, I like it. I think it's fun. Would you go to one of these viewing? spot. No. I'm thinking to go into the next one. It's well worth it. Yeah, I think I'm going to skip out,

give a note to my employer. Hey, Graham can't come in today. Graham's mom says he can't come in today. I think that's his mom. I'm terrible penmanship. Well, that's also a good thing if you're a kid. You can just be illegible. Yeah. And just put like 10 a.

Like put like a time on there. I guess he has to leave a 10. I will say I would have just began at that point. I will say, I don't think, I wasn't jealous of the people who paid to go into that amphitheater. Because there's plenty going on around the grounds and stuff. There's multiple screens. There's even a band on in the free bit.

Oh, nice. Band on for whatever 10 minutes. I wonder what that is. Oh, I can look. I took a picture. I'm guessing it's the watch. I can't remember. I can't remember off head.

I don't think they listed. You can go online and see what bands are playing, but I don't think they're saying they're showing the free bands. I want to say. Oh, I see. Yeah. I want to say Doug in the Slugs, but it's not dug of the Slugs. I mean, that would be you. I got a...

But the name reminded me. Am I overheard this week? It's a Doug and the Slugs related overheard. What? So wait for that one. Oh, there's the end of their name. Ingles Strut? Engletrutt.

Okay, I'll see if I... Okay, it could be single strut. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'll, uh... I'm searching. This is, uh... I'll just Google P and E. band. The P&D band.

Oh, come on. But you wouldn't, you wouldn't go as too, too, crowd or whatever. Too crowd, too. Yeah. I kind of feel that too,

but I want to go for a bit just to be like, catch the fever. There was definitely enough space. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. I just don't want to go to anything.

The other thing that's going on, so my kids are, their school year is ending. That was a perfect time Can we hear more from jungle strut? Oh, maybe that was it. Jungle strut. Let's just call it Jungle strut.

We are Jungle strut. That's just so funny. Five, six, seven, eight. So, guys are out of school. Yay! Jungle strut. So it was the end of the school year. Today they had Beach Day.

Nice. Or they head down to the beach. Love it. Okay. And, you know. Do the parents have to drive, or does it be This is one where you drop your kids off at the beach. Okay.

All right. See you later, kids. See you later kids. Here's a $20 bill. Get yourself some chicken fingers. Yeah. Or soft serve if you're into that. That's fun.

We never did that one. No, they have so much stuff at the end of the year. Right. That's way more fun than anything we had. We had like sports day. Yeah. You get, you have to do a three-legged race. But how many things you have to pay for as a parent?

Is that like, are they not running up a tab on you? That is certainly a thing. Yeah. And last week they had, they went to the amusement park. Okay. Nice. The grade sixes and sevens go to the amusement park. Okay.

And so my daughter in grade six will go again next year as well. And I volunteered to go with them. Oh, fun. Okay. Chaparone. Yeah. And they said, you get to go for free. Okay.

Although you've already paid for your daughter to go. So. So, and then I took the bus with the class and no one sat next to me. I was saying, I was like, did you make a friend? Flashbacks. Not even your kid? No, she's got friends. Does she at least acknowledge that you're related?

Only for that 20 bucks. And we went to, and like the teacher was like, okay, well, what we're going to do is we're going to, there's like a, a, an. that day at the amusement park, it's called Playland, that day it's just like 11 and 12 year olds. Like there's no, it's not open to the public. Right. So you'll just be on the lookout for your own kids.

Keep an eye out for, right. But you're free to ride rides and do whatever you want. Oh, nice. Except for like, we ask that like maybe for one hour, you, there's an area where we're putting all of our backpacks. And you just kind of stay there. And so I did that. I wrote on Margo and I wrote on the roller coaster.

Okay. One thing about when I go to amusement park is people always butt in line. People always are sneaking through the line and I hate it. No one, like there's no policy that stops anyone doing. That happened yesterday at the fan thing. Oh, yeah? Yeah, because you had to queue up to get into the grounds. And I was on my own, right?

I was just coming down. But I was on my own and I was in behind maybe two other. couples, but the width of the lanes were definitely four or five people wide. Yeah. And I had some sneaks coming up the left. And I was on my own. I wanted to call them out, but I'm looking, you're looking around it up.

Is anybody else going to be on my side? Yeah, yeah. Is everybody watching this as the. And so many people are just on their phone, not, like, yeah, not noticing that they're. And it was a group, too. I could tell there was one guy with the, who was being the main prick, the one who was just, you know, he passed me.

He, he went from four people behind me to all. all of a sudden he's ahead of me, and he had three or four people with him, and they're kind of shy or whatever. They know that they're budding ahead and take you. But I, you know, I just let them go.

Let them do it. I have in the past stop people. I hate doing it. And no, but like there's no one working there who's like job it is to be like, hey, get back. It's not a win,

is it? Because when you do it too, you become the assholes somehow. Yeah. You can't quite weigh up. What was great about this? about this was there were so many teachers there that they were just calling out kids who weren't even their own students. They're like, hey, I see you.

Get back your line. That's good. I'm from a different school. See, these are lessons that should last a lifetime. Who are these kids that I encountered yesterday? I just button ahead of me. Yeah. It's, uh, my, my big thing in lines is wherever I'm standing in line in front of me is where everybody passes through the line.

I just always automatically on the guy where they're like, that guy. We can cross where that guy is. It probably means you're a nice person. No, I'm not trying to be at all. They just all of a sudden, I'm the guy. Yeah. Because if you end up moving up to the, like, closer to the person in front of you, the person in behind you won't create the lane.

Yeah, that's it. So then all of a sudden, the responsibility once again comes back to you. And you have to just stay back. Fine, I'll be the good person again. And so with the other part of my responsibility was hanging back with the back packs. Oh, yeah. And there were...

Did you take any snacks? You could have? You could have? Well, a lot of kids had... There were, like, picnic tables. And a lot of kids bought, uh, like, uh, these iced lemonade. And so, so many of them bought an ice lemonade, went back to the picnic tables, put their ice lemonade down and went and rode on the rides.

And then came back. Didn't know. And saw a table full of ice lemonade. Do you know, is this one mine? There's like 60 of them on the table that are identical. Just take one of you kids. You best germs around anyways. COVID was years ago.

We're done worrying. What if she ate one and then she got lice somehow. Some are getting spilled all over everywhere. Backpacks. Oh, it was just a mess. But I loved it. 10 out of 10. Go on the wooden roller coaster.

The old roller coaster. What park was this again? Playland. It's at the P&E. connected to be Andy. Okay. The only playland I grew up with was McDonald's. So that's my first thing.

Remember McDonald's used to have all the playlands? It was the place to go for your birthday. You climb through the tubes and go down the slide. Now there's a grotty. Playlands wouldn't have lasted through COVID. No. Well. I don't know where McDonald's stands on things.

I saw a like at school this like we get the kids get given the these ads for like sign up for soccer or there were these like summer day camps and one of them was like it's a just a day camp where you go out and do activities and the activities are like paintball or whatever like laser tag and one of them was ikea i'm like what do you're just sending them to the ball pit or the like teachers are like put this together you kids all get together and put together the shelf we're going over to mr. Simpson's house to put together furniture.

Yeah, an armoire or something like that. That's great if a teacher's really in the game for the grift. I'm here. Yes, I'm a teacher. I'm a grade five teacher, but I'm also in it for the free labor. Yeah, you do one day IKEA,

you do one day power washing my front yard. Like a karate kid. Like what's in the case? A lot of waxing. Wax on, wax off kids. When you're, You're done with the car, do the windows.

There's a lesson to be had. Yeah, I never thought about it, but grifting kids is probably pretty sweet. Like, they don't know any of the grifts, you know? So, you know, I could give me 20. I could turn into 30. And then, you know, as soon as you get it, disappear. Where's that guy going? I don't know.

I believe that's the plot of Paper Moon. Anyway, we're winding down the school. You're loving it. They have four more days. and I don't think they're doing one more thing. They're not doing another activity. It's just let's wait out the clock. I think they're just waiting out the clock.

Maybe one day they, you know, get to bring out the sponges and to clean the blackboards. And that means the responsibility is all yours starting in four days, right? So you technically only have four days. I only have freedom left. It's a freedom, yeah. Then my kids are going to be all over me. Dad, dad, oh, teach me something. Dad, we've learned so much this year.

I want the learning to continue. Here's how you griff to IKEA. You know what, IKEA delivers. So. It's true. Well, I just lost a day of day of day camp. Yeah. And also, it's not, you know, the diagrams tell you you don't need to be able to read or anything. You can get kids right out of kindergarten helping you put your IKEA footage in the

It's universal language. You just have to be that one guy in the IKEA catalog who's on the phone to IKEA. Yeah. Hey, you forgot a dowel. Sometimes you do you miss the dowel or a screw. Do either you currently have an IKEA that you built in your place? My apartment is only IKEA. Nice.

Only IKEA. And I inherited some IKEA stuff too. Really? Yeah, I actually had, oh, shoot, I usually know the name of it. But that simple table that they have, which has two shelves, which is great. They're about 40 bucks. Is this a coffee table? Yeah.

Like a clog or something. We'll find the name of this. Is it this guy? Let me bring it over here. There's a two level guy. There's one in black. There's one in brown. This is a side table.

There it is. Yeah. Oh, nice. It's a lac. Lack. Lack. That's it. Lack.

A classic lack. I inherited a white lack. Okay. And I, you know, I keep my French are black because it's economical. Yeah. But I currently have two lacks. So I have the white lack that I inherited from the previous tenant and I have a black

lac on top of it. Oh, nice. Covered with a black sheath. So it's got my router and all my TV stuff. But it's got a thing. So you can't tell that it's a completely mismatched, hideous. Unless you walk over and you lift up the.

I think that TV, because you see this a lot where somebody will have a screen mounted to the wall and then there's just this cord that you have to somehow hide. I feel like there should be, you know, like something that charges it like battery somehow back and forth instead of just being a cord, but at least give people the option of a white cord because a lot of walls are white to blend a bit better, but it's really just nothing kind of gacks up a room quite like that cable just coming down from the TV. Yeah.

Yeah. They do. Yeah, it is weird like, I have so much stuff. now that is, we have a, like, a wall mounted TV and it, um, if, if we still had cable coming out of the wall, that would be an issue, but there's, every box is now wireless.

Right. We just have a, like, a giant wad of wires behind the TV. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I see mine are minor in my lack. Yeah. All my wires and stuff and that's why it's covered with the, this canvas. Smart. Smart. And I don't have a wall mounted TV because I rent. Yeah. I still rent guys.

So, yeah, right there with you. My TV is on top of the lack. that's all I can all the router and all that stuff is hidden underneath. Well, you know what? Once you go like, you never go back. All right. Comedy at Club 54 is. Great. What's going on with you?

So this past week, I heard of, I've heard about this guy. He's a musician. And somebody told me a long time ago, I saw a poster and I was like, who's that guy? He's an interesting poster. And the person I was like, oh, you'd love that guy. His name's B.A. Johnston. Okay. He's in Jungle Strutt.

Yes. The lead singer of Jungle Strutt. He is a solo musician that tours all across Canada, seemingly constantly, and he writes songs about beer and eating junk food and pot and Hamilton. He's from Hamilton, so he's got a lot of songs about Hamilton. Somebody in the Globe of Mail said that he's like the new Stomp and Tomp and Tom Connors, because it's just him. He travels coast to coast.

and this guy, I got to tell you, he's the most entertaining motherfucker there is. Oh, where did you see him? I saw him at a little bar called the Heatley. Oh. And he it was completely sold out. Completely at the Heatley. Exactly.

Anyway, we'll be back with more comedy at Club 504. Mom, I love it. But yeah, this guy was like, like, I've heard of his name. Yeah. He's been around. He's been around a long time, and I'm used to going to a show where the band just kind of stands on stage and maybe does some banter between songs.

But for the most part, standing mostly emotionally, motionless on stage, right? Right. Emotionally on stage. But this guy, he was everywhere. He was running all over the bar. He was pouring drinks for people from the tap. Surely they couldn't have agreed to that. And his music is kind of folksy?

Like a lot of with a guitar But then sometimes he would just put on like Kind of a keyboard Base and he would sing the song And he was running outside He was singing a bunch of songs from the sidewalk At one point he was on the hood of his own car And he was playing out in the street

And like I say he got up on the bar He was pouring people Apparently young people aren't drinking much So he's yeah He's thinking a guy to do it He's forcing it He's showing them out done But yeah, he was so entertaining, and I just, he's, I think he's our age.

So he's, uh, he's doing this a long time. But he also like did like, you know, James Brown's jump into the splits kind of thing. He was doing that all over the place. Yeah, we do that. Yeah. At our age. Yeah. I heard my, I crouched on stage the other day and I heard my knee crack.

I heard my knee crack as I got up and I looked at the first. front row to see if any of them, I felt like none of them heard it. I was like, that sounded loud from... They just think it's a glitch in the microphone. I don't know. Yeah, that's a little bit poppy. What are you doing that you crouched on stage? I can be a croucher.

Yeah. Yeah. It was a high... Sometimes when it's a high... He prowls the stage. I find this phenomenon seems to happen in Canada as well, where a lot of times the audience's heads are at your feet here. Why do they...

They love a tall... Yeah, that's true. Stage here for some. reason and I disagree with that. I don't like looking down. I don't like it when their necks are craned. Yeah, that's true. We do have that.

I feel that the audience's heads ideally should be at about your waistline at most, waistline chest or whatever when you're performing. So they got their eyes on the merchandise. And when I'm on one of those stages where their, where their eyeline is at my feet? Yeah. I do find myself about halfway through my set. I'll sit.

I'll come over and I'll sit on the stage. And just bring everything down so that you get better eye contact. And does it work? Do you feel like? I think it works. I think it really helps the audience zone in. Oh, cool. Because I think you can feel it.

You can feel. I want the audience zoning out. Yeah. Mine is like a real mellow comedy. Yeah. I think it is blackout. Oh, I'm on stage. So yeah, I do.

I'll sit on the stage in those situations. And, uh, and yeah, I was getting up one of those situations. So luckily, yeah, I got them to zone in. and everything, but as I got up, I heard it was a bunch of cracking. And I was like, oh, yeah, this is not long for this. Yeah, I should just wait on stage until the audience filters out and that we'll stand up. I think I was...

That would be hilarious. Thank you. Good night. Yeah, and I just sit down on the stool. Why are you still sitting here? Goodbye. Thanks for coming, everybody. I'm just going to sweep the spotlight into a smaller spotlight.

Yes, I mean, actually, you could probably. get down on their level, then on your feet and exit that way. I think I was a teenager when my body, my like knees and shins started cracking. Yeah, I think I had a, I think I had a cracking neck whenever I kind of rotate. Oh, I've definitely, I've had a few injuries in my life. Yeah, I don't know how you guys are doing with that stuff. But yeah, you kind of keep track of your diet more. Yeah.

Because what you eat is directly related to your body pain. Well. The cracking doesn't hurt. The cracking is just like percussive. Yeah, it's just percussive, but it doesn't make me, it doesn't make me, like, worry. Like, at what point? Because it used to be one crack. Yeah.

Currently, I'm on about four. Like, I can hear, when I get up, it's like, like, oh, that's more cracking than it used to be. There's things that hurt, but they don't crack. Do you, when you're getting out of a, when you're getting out of a couch. It's a heart. Yeah, I mean. I make noises.

Yeah. And when I go down, it's all down to the couch. Yeah. There's a little bit, ugh. And you just realize, oh, I shouldn't. It's really bad. I'm a single guy, too. So I just all do it on a date.

And I'm like, oh, no. What did I just do? You just keep snapping? Yeah. It's something I do. It's kind of a cool trick. Why did I do that? Yeah, making noise.

Also, do you worry about sneezes? No, I don't. Like, with incontinence? I, no, no. No, but that's like, but that. But I think about that every now and then. Yeah. Oh,

I've been getting targeted ads of some sort of underwear that, like, holds in pee. Oh, yeah. I think the other than's given up on me. I get... There's a name for that kind of underwear that holds in pee. Well, it's not a diaper. Well, this is a brand of... It has, like, in the crotch area, it's got some sort of winking thing.

It squeezes your wiener. Yeah, squeezes your wiener. Yeah, it twists your wiener one way and the other. Like a radio not. Yeah, lefty, loosey. algorithm gives me a cherryoga. Which, yeah, it used to give me places to travel and activities to do. And then there was like, you know, a gym, you know, gym class kind of stuff.

Right. And now the algorithm just to go cherryoga. So I think the algorithm's given up on me. Yeah, yeah, they figured out, now this is what this guy is. Yeah, this is. But what were you saying about sneezing? Oh, yeah, I've got a, so I've got an old injury in, in my back by my shoulder blade, like a pinched nerve from 20 years ago.

Yeah. But sometimes if I sneeze and it probably depends if I've been really lazy or if I've been physically active. And I have to think about it on the, when I'm recoiling for the sneeze because it can kill me. If I, if I sneeze hard and my back right by my shoulder blade and I'll just convulse in pain. So sneezing is not enjoyable.

I love sneezes. Yeah. So you're very lucky. I have to. What do you do? You hold them in. I do my best. hold it in and I get worried or I'll just try to tense my whole back so that hopefully I don't

yeah hopefully I don't pull the muscle or whatever I used to split uh yeah one sneeze away from having to be in bed for the day. That's just the way it is when I was a kid I had really chapped lips and so when I would sneeze it would split my lip open oh shit and so like now when I sneeze I lick my lips right before every time yeah that's well that's the least that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a It's low on the scale. Yeah. A worry.

Also, you figure out, like, you figure out this weird way to contend with it, and it's all like those little things, like, as long as I don't do this, as long as I don't do that. As long as I have this underwear, it's not a diaper, but it does. But it is for collecting piss. You get a lot of that, and I get, I think I maybe looked at one video once, but Dua Lepa is all over my feed. Hey, I didn't complain. It would be worse. It would be worse.

I was young Duelipa's thing. Yeah, she's the top of the pile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, that is true. Yeah, exactly. Well, keep it coming. It's fine. So this guy, hugely entertaining, had...

No, Dua. No, absolutely. And I don't know if Dua would go in pour her. Alcohol. Maybe she does. I've never been to do a concert of hers. Well, I mean, you got a birthday coming up. I'll get you some tickets.

Seated. Seated. Yeah. Sure, the seated section. Oh, yeah, I've been to several rock concerts in the last little while where seating was an option. Yeah. And it's the best. I've entered the standing before the concert starts.

You know how it all goes in phases. So when we were younger men, you could stand the whole time. You stand before the band comes on. You stand when the band is on. Yeah. You just stand it. You're on her feet. And then the next phase is kind of tired, tired first time dad phase.

and you show up and you kind of sit, you sit in your seats because there's nothing going on yet. The band isn't out or anything. So you sit with your friends and you're chatting, you talk about your kids or whatever. Then the band comes on and then you're up. You're on your feet. And then the next phase,

which is the phase I'm in now, where you show up and you're on your feet because, and with my friends who have older kids, or maybe they don't have to be as attentive to or anything like that. So we were all on our feet. We went and saw, we saw live.

and a big wreck. Oh, wow. In Halifax with my brother and a bunch of friends, but all either have kids who are in the 18, 19-year-old range. And I noticed we all showed up. We were all on our feet before the band came on. And we're all chatting and catching up with each other and everything. And then when the band came on,

that's when we all sat down. That's the new phase. We'll stand up for lightning crashes. Yeah. down concert, nothing beats. Although, so, how would I really like is when, you know, you see a guy stretching before the show. Oh, I am just going to be standing a while. I read an interview with, I'm not an interview, I just saw it posted on a clip, was

Olivia Rodriguez says, because a lot of people that stand in the front that get their early wear diapers. They're not diapers. They're these new products. These new piss pants. You really seem to defend this a lot. I feel like you might have some inside knowledge. But she says you can smell it.

Yeah. What? Yeah. Because there's so many people in the front row that are... Is it that? Are her friends so young that they're still in diaper? That's great because you get to stay with the baby. Yeah.

To stand with the baby the whole time. Yeah. That would be interesting to go on the floor of my baby. I got to get up to the front of the state. That's a thing at like... They say that about New Year's Eve in New York. If you want to be in Times Square, there's no bathrooms anywhere. Yeah.

You got to bring you, B-Y-O-D. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not a big fan. I got offered a couple of music festivals as well because I'm going over to Britain. Right. I'm going to Britain in about three weeks. And, uh, and yeah, there's, it's music, you know, summer music festivals. Right.

And I just, I, I would prefer to just play a club. Yeah. Play a club and go home to my hotel and I'll have a great time. But if I'm doing a music. festival in a comedy tent or whatever like glastonbury has a comedy tent leads in redding festivals have comedy tents if i do do the comedy tents i don't want to be camping and i'm just i'm thinking i'm done camping but it's just they're so epic there's just tens of thousands of people yeah and you know i gotta pee three times during the night or whatever i'm like it's just it's not my jam anymore yeah the promoter's like yeah we'll get you a good camping place and all that i'm like you got to read your 10 Dude, I'll do your gig, but I kind of want to go and stay in a hotel for the night. Absolutely not. Yeah.

You provide a space. You are opening for the prodigy. Yeah. And I had that opinion, that opinion was starting to creep in about just an opinion, not with having to have your, you know, having to be able to piss in the middle of the night. Yeah. But I enjoy seeing a band in a, in a theater or something. If you really like a band, the best place to see it is in a place with acoustic.

and everything. Yeah, yeah. So I did have that opinion 15 years ago, and I was like, this isn't the ideal place to make me a fan of these bands. They don't sound as good. Right.

Or anything like that. So I've stuck to that opinion that I would like, I'll go see the band when it's a manageable, uh, theater outing. Right. I'll be in at eight o'clock. I'll be out at 11.

It'll be great. Yes. And these festivals, there's no laws. Yes. So I feel so guilty that when, because I've done it for years. Yeah.

I've had the tents and, you know, played Gassenbury's like a city, basically. Right. And so really fun five days, you know, but it's not as much fun. And you feel so guilty when they're like, I'll get you, we can provide you a tent if you need fun. And I'm like, well, that right there, I don't think I want to do the gig. Yeah. But yeah, if this gentleman Baye Johnson is coming here town, he did a, he has a whole song about Hawkins Cheezies. He was pouring him in people's mouths.

He had a giant bag of Hawkins'Oceeas. I don't know about Hawkins' Cheese. Yeah, this guy, this guy is like Mr. Canada. Okay. Yeah. And a song about, he has a song about beers and what the beers are in every province in Canada, what the, you know, the go-to beers are. I want to, yeah, I want to see this now.

This guy, he's a lot of fun. And he did a thing that he laughed so much. It was so simple, but he would sing, he would sing, he would turn his back to somebody and pull their shirt over his face and then sing. Okay. He made me laugh so much. This guy said, it's got every trick in the boy. He's pulling their shirt over his face?

Yeah, so he's putting his head and then pulling the shirt over his face. Is he like below them? Well, he basically does it right to your head. So he grabs, he goes under your shirt. Okay. And then he's singing. And he does, yeah, he's so funny. And like I say, but the thing is crazy.

He's running around outside. He was up on his car playing. This was a wired mic. This was, there was some. behind him the whole time feeding line to him basically. That sounds like that's part of the theatrics. Yeah. Yeah. And he does. He's got all

the greatest like Mike whipping around kind of a stunt. It's like pure entertainment. Sounds great. Yeah. So if you're, he's traveling around this summer. If you see he's coming to your town. Run, don't walk. Exactly. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard?

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Indeed. So if you are looking for a little break from your own galaxy, we would love for you to check it out. That's the Young Old Durf Chronicles. Search Mission to Zix, ZyX, and your podcast app. Or on maximum fun.org. Keep it fresh. Overheard. Overheard.

It's a segment on the show where we discuss great, hilarious things that we've overheard or seen. and if you want to send one into us, you can send it into ASBUI at maximum fund.org. We just like to start with the guest, JJ. Oh, you haven't overheard. Well, I have two options. I have, I, I have the best heckle that I've ever received in public in normal in day-to-day life. Perfect.

Oh, okay. Okay. And then I have a simple, I had to correct somebody, somebody used the term. I don't want to take it for, he goes, I don't want to take it for granite. And I had to try to correct him. Was it a P&D? Well, but the weird thing is I can see how that made sense. Sure.

I can see how, oh, yeah, granite. You think, oh, it's a solid, I don't want to take this as a solid, indestructible thing. And I was trying to explain to him that it's granted. And he's like, no, I don't want to be granted. Why would I grant something? I was like, oh, my God. So I just had to explain this guy, granted. But the overhead I want to share with you.

So it was a public heckle. I lost my phone. I live just off a Hollywood Boulevard in L.A. So cool. And I lost my phone and I found, you know how when you lose a phone or an iPad or something, you can go on find my iPhone. And you usually get to watch it go to the airport and then off it goes to somewhere else in the world. And it's gone. But losing your phone on Hollywood Boulevard, you know, mere 100 yards from my apartment, I was able to follow it up and down.

So obviously an unhoused person picked it up or whatever. And it was going up and down Hollywood Boulevard for like the whole for a week. Oh, wow. And I was watching it from my home computer. And whenever it was somewhere for a long term, I would jump on my bike and go to the corner and try to find it. Right. So I was doing this for like more than a week, actually, trying to get my phone as it went up and down. And one night I saw that it was at the bourbon room, which is close to the pentages theater and stuff on Hollywood Boulevard, jumped on my bike.

I looked quite disheveled. It was probably, it was 11 o'clock at night or whatever. It gets there. It's at the bourbon room. I'm going. Got on my bike and went to the bourbon room to try to find my phone. And I'm, and I'm holding up my find my iPhone.

And I'm talking to the bouncer. You're holding it up on a different phone? On, yeah, I had, I had another iPhone. Oh, okay. They give you a temporary loaner phone or whatever. So I had it and I'm talking to the bouncer. And I didn't belong in the nightlife of Los Angeles. Sure.

I clearly just gotten off my couch and had darted out to try to find it. And anyway, there's a queue of people going into the bourbon room and somebody goes, she's not going to take you back, mate. And I like, it made me laugh. But everybody in the line laugh. I was just like, this is the best. Like, I just, it was incredibly embarrassing. But I thought that was so good.

So wow. Because I realized that's what I looked like. I looked like I'm standing at this club and I'm talking to a bad. I'm going, have you seen, is there a homeless person around here that has like maybe a trolley with them? I'm looking for my phone. And just it was the perfect heckle. It made me realize maybe I need to let it go. Yeah, exactly.

Did you ever get it back? I did. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I did. Because eventually it went to a shelter, which was also, it's also close to my place. Right. I just off the Boulevard. I noticed it was there for a couple of days.

Oh, okay. So obviously the unhoused person that had my phone had lost interest in it. Oh, yeah. Because he or she was carrying it around with them up and down Hollywood Boulevard, but now it was just at this YMCA type place. So I managed to go down and show them, do the same thing. I showed the guy who was running it. Yeah.

My find my iPhone. What if the person at the door there was like, it's not going to do that back. Even for YMC standards, they're like, nah. Yeah. No, they were weirdly. They're very cooperative, very nice. I got to see the inner workings.

I understand. Yeah. Yeah, I understand what these shelters look like inside. I'd never seen, but it was an old gymnasium. Oh, but it would all, was divided up into, like, kiosks. Like, like, there was probably, like, 50, like, kind of little bed zones and stuff. But it had basketball, it was an old basketball. Fun? Old basketball.

I think interesting, but. Just throw some balls out there. Let's do some three on three. Yeah. I did feel guilty as well because the guy who runs the show. Delta or whatever. He didn't know exactly which person had it. Right.

But he just had me there pointing at the find my iPhone. Right. It's in here. And you found it. And so I had to be there while he questioned everybody. And so it felt kind of awkward. But yeah, eventually my phone was given back to me. Nice.

Yeah. Then you did some, uh, like horse. Well, let me see if I can do a three point. Yeah. Let me see if I could dunk. Still the best heckle I've ever had. That is fantastic.

So I wasn't even thinking of what I looked like or. like just doing this and talking to a bouncer like this and pointing at my phone. Because that is what it looks like. I must have looked like she's in there. I know that she's not going to take you back, man. That's great. Dave, do you have one overheard? Mine is, well, do we mention Doug in the Slugs earlier?

Doug and the Slugs, who are a Canadian band from the 1980s. Yeah, my first ever. First ever concert. As a kid, free concert, like concert in the park, something like what you would see at the P&D. Right. Yeah. Fan zone. And they are kind of a party rock and band.

Yeah. They probably know. They have some drinking sessions after they. They have fun. And this is the song, Making It Work. It was on the radio in the car the other day. Yeah. Yeah.

They start right away. One more making it work. Hey, yeah. So we were driving in the car and my nine-year-old heard this on the radio. And she goes, this song sounds like it belongs in Shrek. You know what? She's not wrong. Yeah, it's pretty good.

It does have a bit of a rambling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see Shrek. Yeah, it's very montagey, isn't it? Yeah, it's a month. Or like building something. Yeah, we got to build something to get the girl. back from the castle.

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, doing some sawing. Yeah. Donkeys in there trying to contribute. He's kind of in the montage. Making it work in a way. Yeah. It's funny, like, you just, when you're a kid, you're just like, this is the best

song ever. Then there goes a period where like, this is embarrassing. Then you come back around. This song's great. Yeah, it's great. I don't think anyone's ever gone through that with making it work by dug in his lungs. They've loved it their whole lives.

I just went on an emotional. Roller concert. Yeah, JJ was like, yeah, that was my first concert. And second and third. I'm a dughead. What can I say? Yeah. I'm like, I travel from town to town watching the slug concerts. What's the dirty job? The Norm

McDonald film. Dirty work? Dirty work. Yeah. That sounds like the song. That would be in that sound. That would be an opening. Yeah, because they're going around pranking people and stuff and they're, you know, cause they're taken out. You're right. Yeah. He had a sitcom, Norm MacDonald did, and their song Too Bad was the theme song.

Making it work. It is kind of got a making it work vibe. Too bad that you had to get caught. That's not like you to lose face. Making it work. You found that fast. Well, I've got the world of my name. fingertips.

This little magical computer I've got. Graham, do you haven't overheard? I do. I was at the airport. Can I get your autograph here, quick? Yeah. Just hand me one of those pens there. Okay.

Just do it over top of J-J-J-J. Yeah, okay. This is, this time I go. Okay, we're going to get, oh, keep it real. Make it work. You made it work. Thanks, man.

Yeah, mine is, there was the group. of boys that I feel like must have been... Sorry, where were you? This is at the airport. Okay. And there's a bunch of kids there with parental chaperones. I think they maybe were coming from a sports tournament or something.

But at one point, this one kid punched the other kid in the stomach and the kid fell down and was like, why did you do that? And the dad had to walk the kid and like, you're not supposed to do that. But then I went to go use the bath. through and a bunch of them were in there and somebody in the stall was peeing and then farted and the kid just said very matter effectively, where there's rain, there's thunder.

So wise. That's good parenting. A good dad has taught him that. That's nearly a Fleetwood Max song. The idea of just like punching your friend and the stuff.

There's so much. That sounds very. millhouses. Why would you do that? There's just so much violence among children that I just remember like being a young adult and it ends for different people at different times. You just realize, oh, you've got to stop punching people in the arm. Or like, yeah, it was just so funny because they were all,

they all kind of looked like they were the same kid with different haircuts. Like they all looked like kind of like beefy, you know, farm kids. What kind of, what do you think they were traveling for? The 4-H club. They're going to go on a 4-H tour. They're going to see all the pigs in the country. Do you know what the 4-Hs are? No.

I don't think I know any of them. Is harvest one of them? Oh, boy. Do you, any clues? No idea. Health happiness. Honesty. And,

uh, hibiscus. Habiscus. Okay, we're looking at the 4-Hs. 4H club It's a charitable organization Let's find one And it's where kids can hang out and be kids And you learn to do by doing

And it's for kids age is 6 to 21 Quite a gap Yeah You imagine you're 21 year old Working with a 6 year old You guys are the same level Do you understand? Head, heart, hands, and health

Okay. Head, heart, hands, and health. That's nice. You know the four ages. Yeah. This is mostly a podcast about learning. You're learning about Club 54. You're learning that wherever there's rain, there's thunder.

You're learning about the Lack product line at IKEA. The Lack is a very reliable table. Yeah, it doesn't get loose at all. Oh, it's an IKEA. They don't get loose over time. It's a solid one. Solid reliable. Now, we also have.

have overheard sent into us by email. If you want to send one in, you can send it to SBY at maximum fund.org. This first one is from Chelsea from Chicago. I'm sitting at my child soccer practice when the mom next to me, while recounting a story from work, says, apparently it's not PC to call the autopsy room anymore. Now I have to call it the lunch room. Ugh. The autopsy room?

Yeah. Do you think maybe because it was like bad, bad food or cold or cold cuts or something like that? Who called it that in the first place? That's the thing. It's a bit of the mystery. Okay. Right. What I'm picturing is it's in a hospital and they used to have the autopsy room and

that they moved to the cafeteria and moved to somewhere else, you know? Right. Yeah. So, you know, the old times who've been there a long time, they just call the autopsy. Yeah. Like when a, like when a bohemian bar moves into like an old hardware store. And it's still called the toolbox. They still call the autopsy rooms.

They do autopsy. Is that at the hospital? Or do they move them to the police station? I mean, for sure, morgue is in the hospital. Is that the same as an autopsy room? I guess the morgue and autopsy room are probably adjacent. I think they're in close proximity to each other.

And it'd be a weird place to eat. I imagine they're underground. Yeah, they're probably underground. So they can float the bodies out to the... It probably has a very pungent odor of, like, I guess, not necessarily dead people, embalming fluid and stuff like that, like some sort of fluids. Yeah, I don't, I think, um, maybe you don't embalm them at the,

no, you do the funeral home. Yeah. It's maybe I'm thinking more like, uh, alcohol, rubbing alcohol. Yeah, and they put them in the drawers. The drawers with the, I mean, I assume, how else would you work? Are you questioning that? They just hang you up by your shirt, like, it looks like a meat locker. How many, are they piling up in there?

I don't know. Maybe they keep it going, you know? That's the way when I used to run it, where you're in, you're out. This next one comes from Kirsten M. This is heard over the radio in a park and fly shuttle. Driver one. Elvis, do you copy?

Driver two. Thank you very much. Then there was the signs for 20 seconds, and then driver two adds, lemonade is a refreshing drink. So they're having fun. Oh, that is Eddie Murphy. Yeah.

They're having fun on the radio. I worked on a movie. In the email, did it say, do the Elvis voice? Well, I just assumed. When it says, thank you very much. You kind of have to do it, yeah. Yeah. And I did say, it says in brackets, Elvis voice.

Okay. But I was, yeah, working on a film once I had my walkie-talkie taken away because I kept doing prank calls. Making jokes. Graham, give us a joke. your radio. All right. And you were the intimacy coordinator on that time?

And I had to do it all without a walking time. Yeah. Who keeps the intimacy coordinator in check? All right. It's at maximum eroticity. Let's bring in the camera.

It's erotic in here. All right. You can't say that in the thing. That's why it was taken away. This last one comes from Julie from Washington. I heard my 14-year-old asked my 11-year-old.

Are you in mood to be fine with you look exactly like type of joke? You do need to erase your talk. Did you miss a word there? Are you in mood? Did I miss me? Yeah, maybe. It's pretty kind. Yeah.

Like the kind roaster. Yeah. You look exactly like someone, but I, oh. Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure. We can. How are you feeling today? Yeah.

If I compare you to a... Good evening, sir. Do you mind if I make fun of your huge... nose. I know yesterday I had a big, we had kind of a blow up about you looking like, you know. Trek. So and so. Shrek, too bad that you're not a Shrek now.

And you thought that ogres were cool and, okay. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1.844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spypod. one. You can also send us a voice memo to SPY at maximum fun.org like these people have. Hey, Dave Graham and possible guest. It's Jeff in Bellingham, Washington, with an overheard for you.

My wife and I were going to see the movie The Backrooms the other day, and there was a couple next to us, and the guy kept talking during the movie, and he was commenting about the things that were going on, And right when the main character is about to go into the back rooms, the guy exclaims, oh, I wonder if these are those back rooms. And then the character goes into the back rooms and he says, oh, I guess I was right. I got a hunch here. It's hilarious. Was his front blind?

Yeah, I love that. I love everything about that. That's great. Yeah. Oh, maybe this is why the movie's called this. Yeah. Oh, okay. So it's not just a weird phrase.

It actually is about a back room. I don't even by backrooms. Oh, now I get it. I was shot here in Vancouver back room. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah.

All I know was a YouTube kid or something. Yeah. Broke his iPad kid, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's that and the obsession one. Right. Yeah.

That was directed by like, yeah, a kid. Which has totally changed the industry now because, like, in Los Angeles and stuff, they're all like, do you have a movie we can make for, less than 50 grand. Well, you're fine my phone movie might be the next one on the dog, right?

Well, I got the film for you. Yeah, it's a story about the lost phone filmed on that very much. It's okay. We can use, well, that phone's lost, but I get a free loaner in the meantime. Here's your next phone call. Hi, Dave Graham

and possible guest. This is Kay calling in with an overheard from Montreal. I was in a cafe where you can go and do crafts while you sit there and there's these two teenage girls at the table next to ours and one of them said to the other oh my mom's being so annoying she won't stop texting asking where I am and the other girl said oh well she knows me why don't you tell her you're with me and the girl responded oh she knows you but she does not like you no friggin way

Hersch. Yeah. The social disconnect of the youth today. We would have been more polite when we used. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I should tell her I'm with you. Oh, my phone's not working.

Yeah. Weird. Exactly. How do you spell your name here? I don't know. The letter M doesn't work on my phone. She hates you, man. Mandy.

Well, that brings us to the end. No, it doesn't we have a third one. Oh, really? Yeah, I forgot. And here's your final. Is it dug in the plugs? Hi, Graham and Dave. And likely, a very impressive guest.

Oh, hey. This is Carol calling from the San Francisco East Bay, calling with an overheard from the waiting room at the doctors, specifically a spine surgeon. So there was an older lady who was brought. brought in by whom I'm assuming was her daughter. And she was showing her daughter lots of stuff on her phone and trying to get her to look at it with her. And she said, oh, I wanted you to see this.

Look at this. They have toe transplants now. And the daughter said, you don't need a toe transplant. And she said, I might. No frigging way. I might. You never know. Now that they're doing them. Gout. I'm picturing going into hospital, they have a range of toes. Which toe would you like?

I want a long middle toe. How's your balance? I want a big pinky toe. Yeah, I want some super balance. Also, you've got to be nice to your mom if you're in the waiting room of the spine surgeon because you probably stepped on a crack. Anyway, Mom, I love you. Thanks for watching. Comedy of Club 54. Well, that does bring us to the end of this here podcast.

JJ, do you have something, anything that you want to plug? I got a couple things. Go on. I got a, so I do have a dry bar special coming out. Yep. A couple dry bar specials coming out, actually. And this is clean comedy. And that's clean comedy.

Nice. Which I found, I did okay. I did, it was fun. Yeah. I did, here's some of the tricks I did. I did instead of what the fuck. Yeah. I did a little, lot of what.

the what's. What the what? Yeah, I did what the what. You're going to hear me go, what the what? And yeah, so. Can we hear a few of them? A few what to what? Yeah, just give me like some options.

Well, you go, what the what? That's the one. Yeah, that's, I want to use three times. And then there was a couple of what the what. And then, you know, so. Have you, I was thinking about this the other day that there's not as many catchphrase comedians as maybe there once were. Right.

In the meantime, whenever we have you next on, tell us if you come up with a good catchphrase for your comedy. What the what? It's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is a couple of catchphrase comics out there. Yeah.

You've got your. The guy that yields hamburger. It's the hamburger guy. Yeah. Hamburger. The guy Gabriel Iglesias, who calls himself Fluffy. That's a big one. Yeah.

You might be a redneck. That's still going around. It's more popular than ever these days. Yeah. So, thank you so much. for being our guest. Oh, we've got more stuff.

I was going to, yeah, well, I was going to say, so, yeah, I don't know when those dry bars are coming out,

but, um, they should be fun. And then if any of your British, uh, people out there, I'm going to be at the Edinburgh festival this year in, uh, in a play in a play.

In a play. Yeah, in a guy masters and play, which is, uh, and it's a satire of 12 angry men. Okay. And I can't wait.

It's going to be, it's, I've never done a, I was going to say, have you ever been in a play. I've, this is going to guy master sin's like a big BAFTA award winning director oh wow it's and the cast is really cool I'm super excited what's uh I'm juror number seven that's a good one yeah um I got to get all my hair cut off in a couple

okay oh really yeah yeah so it'll be because it's set in 1958 and you would be you have to look racist yeah you would be a derelict back then with your long hair exactly yeah I don't think you'd get on the Yeah, I don't think you'd get on the, yeah, exactly. Yeah, so I'm really looking forward to that, you know. Yeah. That's why I'm heading over to Britain in a few weeks. That's exciting. I had to start rehearsals and.

So you're doing 30 days of this? I think it's 22. 22, okay. Or, yeah, whatever is the, it's the first, it's three quarters of the festival. So. Nice. And festival's a month long. Yeah.

For anybody who doesn't know what the end of a tent. Festival. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, luckily I've had. From my days back in Scotland, I've got some friends there that I, that I always stay with. Yeah.

That I can rely on. In fact, a shout out to the Kruger's who I stay with. Freddie, one of them. I, uh, yeah, Scott and Jen Kruger. Just don't fall asleep. We became friends in my first festival back in 99 and 2000. We were friends back then. They were at school at the Edinburgh University.

Okay. And now they still live in Edinburgh, but they have a big smart home and two kids. like, you know, like an 18-year-old. So they got older kids now, and that's who I generally stay with in Scotland. Nice. Shout out to that. Shout out to the Kruger's. Shout out to the Vorheises.

Shout out to the Myers. Yeah, absolutely. And shout out to these xenomorphs. Yeah. So out of your British people, keep your eyes out. Come and see, it's a satire of 12 Angry Men. It's Guy Masterson's 11 half angry men. 11 and half angry men.

Yeah. Love it. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being a guest. Thank you everybody out there. Thanks for listening. If you haven't explored the catalog of Doug and the Slugs, now's the time. Have a nice summer with the Doug and the Slugs soundtrack in the background.

Yeah, you just take it day by day. Yes. Make it work. Come on back. Come on back. Next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting yourself. Maximum Fun A worker-owned network

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