Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 956 - Randee Neumeyer

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

Comedian Randee Neumeyer returns to talk first daughter movies, birthday parties, and millenium dance music. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka And he's Graham Clark And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself Woo, everybody And welcome to episode number 956 Of Stop Podcasting Yourself My name is Graham Clark And with me as a ways

He just explained such a fun game to me And I feel like he owes it to the listener at home To pass it along, Mr. Dave Shumka Okay My family, my children and I We're silly And we talk about countries a lot We do geography stuff

They're into geography. And I'm bored with it. And so I'm like, hey, what's the opposite of, you know, Rhode Island? And they're like, sidewalk island. Fun. This is fun. That kills at least 20 minutes in a car ride. What's the opposite of Norway?

Far away. No. Norfolk. Maybe it's yes or way. Yes or way. What's the opposite of Greenland? It's a tough one. Greenland.

I was going to say black. Black water. It was a bit of Iceland. Black water. There you go. Offset of Iceland. Hotland. Oh, fire.

Oh, fire. Yes. Fire and ice. Anyway, so we have fun with this. We did all the provinces. We did all the states. We did all the countries. Womenitoba.

Womannitoba. Obset of none of it? All of it. See? God, this is a fun game. Yeah. Our guest today, returning guests to the podcast, she's oh so funny, so glad to have her back.

It's Randy Newmire. Hello, Randy. Hello. Oh, she's fading off into the background. I'm on a hot air balloon. Oh, bye, Randy. That's how I want to die. Hot air balloon?

That's so scary. Just as it's floating away, just when everybody turns their back and then I just fall on it. Oh, you fall. Yeah. Or putting out to ice, you know, an ice out to sea. see Viking kind of funeral. Yeah, because just being like, just it taking off without a pilot, it's not necessarily a death sentence.

It would be for me. I don't know. When to hot, when to cool, you know? There was a guy, though, who tried to jump out of the hot air balloon because he had a skydiving pack on. But that will tip the thing and everyone else would fall out. So they basically had to like stop him from doing it. Oh, that's insane.

Oh, he was with other people. Was this recent? I don't know. I saw it. I think it was recent. And it's happened before and I think everyone died. Yeah. Oh, cool.

That's, look, hot air balloons. You did even the guy with the parachute die? Was he like, oh, yeah, I live. He's like, poopie. You know, some things just work out, you know? Yeah. There's a, I talk about this movie all the time. It's the best opening scene in a movie.

Not ever. But it's a great opening scene. It's this movie called, I don't forget now. Batman. Yeah. A sheep detective. Must see. No, what's an enduring love?

And it's Daniel Craig and Samantha Morton and they're like having a picnic in a field. And then this hot air balloon just floats by like really low to the ground and they realize, oh, there's a kid in it. And his grandfather's chasing it down and trying to like get the kid out of the hot air balloon. And then like all these people from around like a drive. Stops and runs across the field. Daniel Craig runs across the field. All these people try to help. And the grandfather, like, holds on to the rope of it as it goes up and then can't hold on anymore and falls and dies.

Jeez. And it's a great scene. And the rest of the movie's kind of dumb. But what a start. Yeah. It's about how, like, there's this other guy who's like, we're forever drawn together by this incident. Oh, by this event. Yeah.

The rest was just kind of sad. Should we get to know us? Oh, yeah. Check out Enduring Love on DVD. You get it on Blu-ray? Get some of that directors or film. I think they probably did. Yeah, director's commentary.

What's your relationship with hot air balloons? We just talked about it. Well, she heard about a thing, but. Well, on the ground, I remember being in Edmonton, they had, like, a hot air balloon, like, I don't know, festival. And there were, like, hundreds. Yeah. So that's a good thing, but I would never go in one. Me neither.

Yeah. My cousin and her husband had like, yeah, had basically a picnic in one. And I thought that was the most insane. Like just it. Yeah. Yeah. It sounded like just an awful. You can't sit down or other seats?

I don't know. I've never. Because you're picnicking standing up. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. I don't. I mean, I just would never. It's just, it seems so old.

timey that we shouldn't be doing it. And there's like, it reminds me of kind of a being on a boat where it's like, yeah, you can't leave. I'm not really going anywhere either. Like, we were just going out for a little trip and coming back. Yeah. Do you guys remember Balloon Boy?

Yeah. Do you remember that? I actually didn't, like, you know when there's news and you just don't partake? Sometimes when a story is like, You're like, no, this isn't for me. When a story is just like a six-hour story and you're like, oh, I was at work that day. I didn't see that. Yeah, yeah.

I think I only saw it because at the time I worked at City TV and it was on TV like the whole time that it was happening. And it was the story was like somebody had led up. It looked like a weather balloon. And the thing was that they thought a kid was in there. And it was like just flying into the atmosphere kind of like kept going and going. And then the big thing. And, like, there were jets scramble to shoot it down and all this kind of stuff. I don't.

It was crazy. We need the balloon, not the boy. And then, like, they, I think it just eventually petered out and came down. And the kid wasn't in there. He was hiding back at the parents' place. But then it kind of came out that it was a bid for the guy to have a reality show. And the kid, like, let it slip. Yeah.

Like, the whole family was being interviewed on CNN, and they were like, and then what was going through your mind, little kid, when this was happening? And he was like, you mean when I was hiding behind the couch? I mean, like, he totally could not play it cool. And I feel like we have this conversation every time I mention that movie. What is it called again? Enduring Love. Take it out of DVD. Okay.

Coming back to theater. You know what it is, is I, so I talked about going to a baseball game a few days ago. And when I bike home from a baseball game on a nice night, I always sent the, these two words come into my head. At the beginning of that movie, when they're having a picnic, it's such a beautiful day. And Samantha Morton goes, it's blessed. And so when I'm biking home in the dark, I say, it's blue. I always go, I'm a stranger things kid.

That's pretty good. You ride a little BMX? I got a one speed. Nice, nice. Do the Stranger Things bikes, does anything happen to them? They don't fly. That's just E.T. No, they just bike around at night a lot.

Yeah. That was when I was a kid. and having a bike, that really was like a license to drive. Like, that was, you could get around, you could go to abandoned construction sites and jump off of, you know, logs or, you know, whatever. Just get into all sorts of trouble, right? And then when helmets came out, I was like, no, no, we're done. I'm done with, like, do you wear a helmet? I do.

Smart, Dave. Yes. Yeah, good, good, good, you guys. Randy. Randy, hello. Thanks for coming. It's been about a calendar year since we've had you on. How has your year been?

Good, bad, ups and downs? It's been okay. Yeah. I'm not living up to my potential. Or any of us, you know, except like that one snowboarding woman from the Olympics who also has like an astrophysic degree. Oh, she's like a model. Yeah. You're like, she's living up to everyone's potential.

Well, don't be so hard on yourself. We're in lockdown. No one's really getting everything done. Take me back. Did you like lockdown? Oh, I loved COVID. Oh, yeah. Sorry to anyone who got it.

Hey, I got it twice. Yeah, well, I got it as well. Did you, what was your, what was your COVID routine? I was big, like, I was a big, big into the naps. I would be having gigantic naps in the middle of the day. I got like really into exercising. And then I, this is something really weird is that I had never walked around my neighborhood before for some reason. And then I was like, the seawalls, like 10 minutes walk away?

You never realized it. So did you walk the seawall a lot? Oh, I do all the time, no. Yeah, when you were, I should have got into exercise during COVID. I really, that was a big, I should have got into exercise instead of napping. Although now I'm an excellent nap. One of the best, one of the city's finest. I can nap.

I can get a deep nap. 10. I can nap in a half an hour wake up, feel totally refreshed. I've got all the napping angles covered. So if anybody has any napping questions here or out there in the listening world. What do you do if you get too hot? Um, first I take off the socks. See if that mitigates it. What do you wear first? Are you wearing socks first? Uh, no, usually socks are removed, but if it's kind of a chilly day, I'll put them on and then blanket over half instead of overhaul. Are you wearing your street clothes? Are you wearing, uh, depends on if I've left the house that day. So if I haven't left the house,

indoor clothes. If I have left the house and I'm like, I got time for a little quick one, I'll just go in regular clothes on the couch. Yeah. I can go to the couch. I could go to the bed. I could sleep sitting up. I've got all the nap angles covered. Yeah. Are you guys street clothes people? Like, you know, people won't sit on their bed in their street clothes. Yeah. I feel like that's a New York thing because everyone's, like, everywhere you go, you're surrounded by Phil. Like, you have to go on the suburb. Like, you have to go on the subway and rub up against other people.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like I don't really do anything that is gross. It's so filthy. Yeah. I'm kind of like, if I can't see it, I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm going to wash these sheets every six months anyway.

And I never get sick. You work from home, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. It's a good way to keep the germs away, just not being out there in the world, you know? It's true. No one caught me saying I watch. wash my sheets every six months.

Oh shit. I didn't get that at all. Fine with us. Well, like, I was reading a, like, a Reddit thread about it. And it's, I can't get over that some Americans will, like, go on their bed in their shoes that they were wearing outside. In their bed? Like, on top of their bed.

They're, like, relax wearing shoes from outside. I feel like that's a thing that TV has given us because you never want to see characters in socks. I do I want to see what kind of shape Kramer's foot is You know Who do you think Has the weirdest feet of all the friends

Or friends are Seinfeld cast Who's got the weirdest feet? My guess is Jerry I think Jerry's got some weird I figure He's got like a weird

His toes are hairy I don't know what makes a weird foot Just like weird looking You know what I mean Feet come in all shapes and sizes And I'm into them Was it your joke about seeing Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Where you're like Yeah, Quentin Tarantino Still in defeat Was that you? I think that's everyone Yeah, I think it's a known thing So you work from home You work at a company

I'm fascinated by the company That you work for Because I can't quite wrap my head around it But give me the jig Give me the elevator pitch Of what it is that you work Okay, so it's a connection app that is. So this app is based on Vedic astrology.

Here we go. And they use Vedic astrology to connect you with other people so it can be used for dating or friendship. And so like when you match with someone on the app, you can look at your compatibility through Vedic astrology. Okay. And then we have... What's Vedic? Vedic astrology is different from Western astrology. it's like it's from India and it's it's much older than Western astrology and the

difference between them is that so do they still use the same like signs or they do use the same signs but then there's also no shakhtras which are like these you're you are like everyone has a nashatra there's 27 of them so then that also goes into like goes more in depth into your personality and how like your life's going to like unfold in a bigger general way. Oh, it tells you it like like in India. Like like in India when people are getting married, they'll look at their Vedic chart to see if they're compatible. Oh, wow. Yeah.

It's called like the eight kutes, I think. The eight kutes and there's like eight things they look at. What's your job at this app? So at this. I don't, yeah. She's a prosnogicator. You guys didn't let me say that we have events all the time where people from the app can go hang out at them. Oh, and what type of events are we looking at?

And people go out and say, hey, do you really believe this? Yeah, why? Do you? Yeah. So far, all the events have been like, we had a block party the other week. And then we had a, we've had two cocktail making classes, yoga classes. We've had just like general, like a bar hangouts. See, those, that's the type of hangout.

That's the astrology I meant to. Go into a bar. Let's go get drunk. Wait, wait, let me check my... Yep, no of my future sizes. I want to wake up wasted, so let's get this done. Wake up wasted. I want to drink so much.

I wake up wasted. But you've got a big show in the morning. Have you done any... As an aside, have you done any daytime comedy? I feel like that's becoming something of a popular thing because people don't want to drink as much? I don't feel like I have done a lot of things. Stay away from this app then.

Yeah. We do sponsor comedy shows. We sponsored a That's Gay Comedy like last week. Oh, okay. And so then you sponsored them, people get like a discount to go see it? So when you go to the comedy show, you sign up on the app and you get a free drink. Oh, nice. I wish everybody had that.

But we had a block party that was completely free, like all the drinks, the food, everything. There was a tarot card reader all free. And we're going to have another one. Because I've been throwing them money away on my tarot card reader. And they did never agree. You go to two to get a second of a minute. Well, this one said I had the freaking night of cups.

I know somebody from years ago who's for their graduation present from university was given a full, like, detail. reading by what do you call it? Not a palm reader, but what would, like a a tarot person? Or like, what kind of reading? I don't know.

But it was like some in-depth, like, more than just... So many kinds of readings, Graham. Yeah, there's a public reading of a book. You can have your middiclorians read. See if you're a Jedi. Yeah, you can do Scientology, whatever you call the hold the things.

Hold the cans. The heat meters. So this, tell us more. about how this works. Because this is where I'm fascinated. Well, okay, so I started as a copywriter, and now I'm the social media manager. Okay.

So I, like, go to the events and I, like, film everything and then I make reels. Nice. Yeah. And so, like, do people, do you guys, like, keep track of, like, hey, this couple is engaged now? Or? It's, we did actually look at the matches today for last month. And I think it was, like, 30 matches or something. The app's pretty new, so we just got over a thousand users.

Is it mostly based here in Vancouver? Are you going to say the name of it? Or not? No, no. You're making fun of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, don't say the name. Then don't.

But if anyone wants to download the ad message me. Somebody will figure it out and put it on the Discord. I know, but like, the show is making fun of the thing. Why'd you ask? Because I'm fascinated. Because I've never heard of anything like it. And it's, yeah, I want to, like you said, I want to get all the different types of reading. I want to get a palm reading.

I want to get a tarot. I want to get tea leaves. Tea leaves. I want to get, what would the readings for this be called? Oh, just like tarot. And then they kind of went off what your three big signs are, like you're rising, your moon. your son. What was the word,

the word for, before astrology? Nate. Vedic. Vedic. So they can, that through getting a reading through tar cards

or through your signs, they can tell this is what's going to happen to you in the future. This is how you're, yeah. You're going to walk in front of a bus. Yeah.

Shit, when? Well, we want you to be surprised. Yeah, you got to re-up for next month. I'll tell you.

Maybe we'll tell you. But your Vedic sign is actually different from your Western. signs. So what, in what capacity? Okay, so. See, this is what I want to know. So, so in the 2000 years or whatever since astrology has come to be, the earth has wobbled. The earth wobbles, and it's moved by 24 degrees. So Western astrology hasn't accounted for that. And Vedic has and has I remember a few years ago they were talking about how they were going to add a 13th sign to Western

astrology, too. Oh, boy. They're like, we discover this thing, and people were freaking out. And were they like, we were holding a public contest, whoever comes up with the coolest sign. It's open to kids from 9 to 99. My sign, I'm Santa. That was the big winner. If you could have a new sign, what would it be? Well, they already got a crab.

Yeah, they've already got a crab, so that's out. They've got a lion already. And they're all, the Western ones are divided into. water signs, Earth signs and fire signs? An air sign. An air signs. There's three of each, eh? So adding the 13th one would be...

Really throw it out of wow. Yeah. I guess maybe it would be its own sign. Yeah. Nuclear. Like a Toblerone. Mmm, delicious. Yeah.

So then... I'm hungry. Let's go. Get a topper. It's like a phrase you've never heard. I'm starving. Let's go get a total room. I want to eat something that's duty-free. Now, Randy, you're wearing a belt that's full of grommets.

Grommets. I didn't know what those were called. Is that what they're called? I don't know. Are they called grommets? Yeah, I think they're grommets. They've got a million metal holes in them. Yeah. Do you know if you, is that your hole that you do every time or do you know?

I got no idea. But the thing can only fit in the bigish ones. It can't fit in the smaller ones. And the bigish ones are, well, some of them are not, some of them are off center. Yeah, yeah. So sometimes I'll, like, say this one's over here. Sometimes I'll pick that one. Sometimes I'll pick that one.

Oh, fair enough. I got a belt that doesn't have it. It just goes through, uh. It's a rope. Yeah, it's a rope. And I don't tie it the same way every day. Sometimes it's about. It goes through like a ring or is it like a tightening device.

Yeah, it goes through the belt itself. Oh, okay. As opposed to, uh, they're good if, uh, if you're, uh, if you're, a fat guy. They work quite well for that. I think any belt's good. How would you know? But yeah, I

sometimes like when I was growing up, people would wear belt buckles. I don't know how you like spend the day. Because like standing up, they look super cool. But sitting down, I feel like they like. Would this be people your age? During the stampede, everybody was wearing them. But like I say, if they were a certain size, if they were small enough, you could sit and stand comfortably.

Like, there are a lot of guys going for these giant belt buckles. Now, in Calgary, there were a lot of cow people. A lot of cow people. And, but where there are also a lot of people pretending to be cow people? During the stampede, everybody's pretending to cow people. Yeah. But, like, are people all wearing big belt buckles? Like, you know.

The rest of the year? Yeah, if they've never, you know. worked on a ranch. Yeah, there was a contention. You're from Alberta as well. Yes. Yeah. And you, what was your experience, cowboy-wise?

There weren't a lot where I was, well, I avoid the rodeos because I don't agree with what's happening. Fair, yes. I am also in that camp, yes. But, you know, I saw something, you know how the new Jackass movie came out? People are like, people are going to start dressing like Johnny Knob. And he wears big belt buckles. He does. He's got a very, like, he's dressed the same since he's been a 20-year-old guy.

Yeah. But it's good. It's a good aesthetic he's got. You could put that look together pretty easily, I think. Yeah, you get what kind of shoes, pants? He's like, Dickies? Yeah, Dickies, high tops. And like a ringer t-shirt.

Yeah, a ringer t-shirt. And he's older now, so a cardigan. Yeah. He does add a cardigan in now. I watched the last one last night, the Jackass Forever. And even watching that, I was like, how are these guys still doing this themselves? They were too old then, and now they're still doing it. And this isn't going to be the last one.

We all know it's going to come back another 10 years for now. No. They can. They're in their 50s now, right? They're going to break stuff. Or late 40. Jack has forever, like, they were all old. Johnny Knoxville ended up in the hospital with like a concussion and several

programs because a bull hit him. He had like the, he had to have a colostomy bag for, yeah, years. He had a catheter for years and he wore a colostomy bag as to be part of a character. They was playing an old man in the movie, old grandpa or something.

Was that bad grandpa? Was that, or was that the Robert De Niro? That's the Robert De Niro one. There was one where he, He's playing the grandpa, and it's basically just a bunch of setups for him to do crazy stunts. And he wore a colostomy bag during that, during the filming of that. I just learned that this morning because it was like...

Because you were doing... Get you a book report on Jackass the book. I hope my teacher doesn't think I watched the movie. I hope it don't get caught. But, yeah, that... Have you seen, do you watch any of the Jackass movies? Oh, I've seen them all, except the new one. still got to get in there.

Yeah. I want to see it in the theater. I think it would be fun to see in the theater. I probably can't take my kids to it. There's a lot of poop stuff. Yeah, there's a lot of penis. That's fine. Like the human body is just a beautiful thing.

The beginning of the last jackass starts with it's like a Godzilla scene. And the Godzilla is one of the guys' penises that's operated like a puppet. Yeah. And you can imagine. where it goes from there. He doesn't spit fire much. Oh, yeah, sure. But yeah, one of the ones was they

strapped, I can't remember the names of the guys, into a chair, and they told him it was going to be like a lie detector getting electrocuted thing, but then everybody left through and then a bear came through the door. And before he left through, Johnny Knoxville put a bunch of

salmon and the guys laughed. Oh, no. These movies are all They're the best. Movies are back. The movies are back in a big way. Sheep detectives, Jackass 5. Have you seen Sheep Detective?

I have. And? You know what? Okay, the weird thing, so you think this is going to be a comedy from the trailer. I very much do. It's a drama. Really? It's not that funny.

It's actually like emotional. And is it like a really a who done it? Yeah, it's a who done it, yeah. And the sheep solve it. And Hugh Jackman dies. Is he the one who's been killed? Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

The figure's pretty, pretty prominently in the promotional materials for this movie for the guy who died. Is he like, do they see him in flashback or does he just die and that's the end of? There's like the opening scene that's like him and then it kind of explains why the sheep are so smart about. Solving crimes. Did you see it in theater or? Yeah, I saw it theater. It's already on that on prime. Yeah, I know.

And I'm going to watch it. Yeah, me too. But you recommend? Yeah. Yeah. It's fine. It's got the hot guy from, with the He-Man movie. Oh, yeah.

Did you see the He-Man movie? I did, and I liked it. I heard that it's fun. I don't know. When you say the hot guy from the He-Man movie, you mean Jared Leto? No. No. Do you mean He-Man himself?

Yeah, the guy plays He-Man. I don't know him. He is a hunk. There's no doubt about it. He's a... And they could have given him a lot sillier of a haircut playing He-Man, because he... He-Man had a real, like, Farquhar.

Now, you're talking about Nicholas Galitzine? Yeah. I've heard of Nicholas Magazine, but this... He was in this movie called The Red, White, and Royal Blue, which is about when the Prince... Oh, he plays Prince. Henry. The prince falls in love with the first son.

Oh. Yeah. Okay. And that's a good movie. Like the first son, like the president's son? Yeah. Oh my God. Have you seen my date with the president's daughter?

What? What was that a movie? Wasn't there? It wasn't like the first daughter or something? There was one with Katie Holmes and one with Mandy Moore. Yeah. My date. Okay.

Come on. We need this to be. The president's daughters from 1998 starting Dabney Coleman My date with the president's daughter And it is Katie Holmes or No it's neither

Elizabeth Harnawas Was looks to be the daughter And Will Friedel, the older brother from Boy Meets World Is having a date with her What a cast Well what am I think Okay what's the Katie Holmes

Was that just called first daughter? I think there's first daughter Do you remember this film? I think it's first daughter Yeah Maybe there was no Mandy Moore one And she doesn't switch with another daughter to be... No, that's...

It takes two. That's parent trap. Oh, if Michael Keaton is the president. I believe I can see him in being the president. And Mark Blucus, looks like the guy who has the day with a daughter. Ooh. The guy who ruined Buffy. Oh, did he?

He was in the fourth season. He was Buffy's... Yeah, he was Buffy's boyfriend. And he ruined it for you? It was just that season when they introduced the military, and you're like, why does the military have to be in everything? Were you a big Buffy head? Yeah, yeah.

When I was younger, I love Buffy. Favorite character? For me, it was Mark Blucus. My favorite character is Spike. Oh, fair enough, yeah. Spike is the blonde, bleach blonde guy? Yeah, yeah, I love him. I don't think I've seen a whole episode of it.

Would that be something you can watch with your daughters? Oh, yeah, I think so. It's spooky, but it's not gory. No, well, the thing is, my daughters, one of them likes teenager stuff, and one of them still likes kids stuff. So any show we watch has to have children. Right. We can't watch. My older daughter is watching Superstore.

Oh, okay. That's a fun. That's a light, breezy kind of comedy. No kids in it. So the other, Poppy's not interested. Yeah. It's tough.

Now I'm trying to think of something, but I think you probably all, did you watch Malcolm in the middle? She specifically won't leave the leg shows with girls children. See, I didn't have that when I was a kid. You had to like boy shit or you got nothing. You couldn't. And it was just on at 8 o'clock or whatever.

Did you have at least one brother, more than one brother? Just one brother. Just one brother. older? Older. And so he dictated what was being watched at all time. He did to a certain point, and then I grew stronger.

Are you stronger than him now? Not like physically, but like mentally for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You became more fortified. Yeah, yeah. And to this day, are you like... Do you always tell up you're mentally weak? You may be physically strong.

I'm like the youngest. The youngest, like, kind of gets their way most of the time. Depend. Yeah, Dave also. Yeah. High five. Yeah, because is there, was there a period where he was away at school or something and you were the only kid? Did you get any only child time? We're pretty close in age. We're like three years apart. Okay. So no, no only kid time for you. No, but I did like most of the stuff he liked. Like, we were into the same. I liked all the things he liked. But, you know, like Jackass was big. And his friends used to actually, like, go out and get shopping carts and do all the stuff. I wonder what was the most, because they had a thing at the beginning thing, don't copy any of this, but everyone did. I'm sure. I didn't.

I was too old and didn't have friends. The grocery card thing was that came around after my time, but my friend used to watch skateboarding videos. And I feel like those were a natural extension. Because the skateboarders were always doing things that they would end up falling and getting hurt. I'm showing you their broken finger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is, like, what do you think is the most replicated jackass thing? I think it, I think that's probably, or.

Shopping cart? I would say shopping cart. Or the easiest one is you get an entire tray of food at like McDonald's and then you pretend to trip. And you trip and your food goes everywhere. That is pretty funny. Yeah. Apart from the person that has to clean. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I definitely knew people who did the shopping cart thing. I never saw it, but it sounded awful because there's no way for it to end well. There's no breaking mechanism on the shopping cart. Well, there is if you leave the parking lot. Yeah, I guess that's probably put a bit of a crimp in the old shopping cart. Yeah.

I say let them have them. If someone wants it that bad, let them take it. Apparently, the one that they use in the movie with all of the minute is a prop leftover from a movie where Lily Tomlin was a tiny lady. It was like, oh. Oh, the big shopping cart. Yeah. What's the name of the movie?

It's coming to kill us all. Tiny Lily Tomlin movie. But apparently it was a prop that was just kicking around. And so they used it. The Incredible Shrinking Woman. There you go. Look for the shopping cart. She plays the president's daughter.

Goes on a date with Charles Groden. Finally, a movie I can relate. Yeah, they should make one of those movies about, but with like the president's grown children. Like not just a teenage daughter. Like when they made those movies, it was like Chelsea Clinton time. Yeah, that's true.

They should make a Hunter Biden style. I love Hunter Biden. Tell us more about that. He, well, I can't really. He clas back at people on social media. I saw his nudes and I went, he's cool. But yeah, he claps back. I haven't seen these nudes.

I didn't know they were nudes. Oh, my God. Those are the famous things about him. He's got nude pictures. He owns a laptop. I know. He owns a laptop. He's done drugs.

His dad loves him. Yeah. That's right. His dad kisses him on the lips? No. No. That was what's his name? Tom Brady.

What is the guy? Joe Biden kissed Tom Brady on the list? What was the guy who tried to kiss? I guess his daughter and she like leaned away from him. Oh, was that Trump? Cruz. Ted Cruz. Oh, can you imagine?

Being kissed by Trump would be. Okay. I'd rather have political stuff. I'd rather have a bear eat salmon off of my crutch. There I said it. But if you haven't seen that scene, we're recording us July 3rd. So we're one day away from the big one day away from the big 250th celebration.

We are in Canada. Yeah, but we still celebrate. I'm having a block party for all my horoscope friends. And I'm having a weiner eating competition. Alone. So far my record is one. but the uh and today's taylor swift wedding day today oh shit what yeah she getting married at madison square garden that's so weird to me yeah it's very weird it's like why are you making a show out of your wedding it's weird

their whole life's i don't know if they're making a show out of it like it's like can you buy tickets no i don't think so i think it's an invite not even from a scalper's like i've decided not to go here here's my invitation But like, does the roof open? Because, like, why would you want your wedding in this, like, dome? I don't get it. The roof just not open. Yeah, she should be having it in the Skydome. Yeah, she should do it somewhere with a retractable roof.

Skydome's too big. It's like 50,000 people. For her? Oh, she could fill it. If anybody can fill it for her wedding. No, I don't know any details of it except that, well, I get a daily email from the Associated Press. And one of the things was, like, we found a leak of what's happening.

And it's like February or July 2nd, load in. So they had like a, so she, they have the venue still 4 a.m. on the 4th. But this I were, I'm assuming it's just the ceremony that's happening. Or do they, are they doing speeches and are they doing like the reception? I don't know. It's a crazy thing. It is a crazy thing. But like, it's also like, look, it's not of our business.

Is Nate for God's going to come out and do us? Who are the people with like big arena experience? Yeah, you're going to get all the arena communities. Dice clay is going to get Stone Cold Steve Austin. He's going to come out and make a speech. So I only, where was it, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey's wedding plans. So this is yesterday. Yesterday was Loden was 8 a.m. to 12.

12 to 1 was lunch. Delicious. Load in continued until 5.30. And then they had a pre-party, like, uh... Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the rehearsal dinner. Yeah. Uh, from 530, from 6.30 till 9.30.

Nice. And then, uh, today crew calls it two. Okay. Doors open at three. Uh, and guests arrive, three to five. And then the event goes from 5 p.m. till midnight. Uh, it continues till 4 a.m. From 4 a.m. to noon, tense drag and load out.

Full closure still in effect. Oh, yeah, the roads closed all around it as well. So it is all happening at Madison Square Gardens, the reception and the ceremony. Well, no, they're just going to do the ceremony there, and they're going to have a reception at... I just think it's so dumb. It's like your celebrities, you're a billionaire, like rent, like get an aisle, buy an island. Yeah, yeah. Like, what?

I don't get it. It is weird, and it is... But she's... I mean, they're both so New York. And I can't... I also can't not picture them getting married in a wrestling ring. Like, that's the only way that I can picture into my head. What are the big arena of it?

So there's wrestling, there's basketball, hockey, concert. Wimbledon? Nope. Nope. Boxing. Boxing they might do in an arena and, like, monster trucks. Monster trucks, and then just like arena rock. Super dogs.

Yeah. Oh, Superdogs. Yeah. If you're lucky. Yeah, getting married in an arena. Look, they're in the public eye. That's where they live. It's the only thing they know how to do.

I wonder what Taylor Swift would be. What type of job would she be in if she was not a famous lady? I don't know. I feel like she'd be a good... She might work for an astrology. I feel like if she went to, like, events and, like, made reels. Yeah, yeah, I could see her doing that. I could see, yeah

Whatever she is, she's going to be a problem, you know? Like she's going to be the best at it. Yeah. Yeah, she's a... But yeah, anyways, we wish them the best. And I've sent my gift along. Have you guys sent your gift? Oh, I thought we were doing it together.

Oh, shit. You know what? Yeah, I'll let you sign the card. You, Randy, you've sent your gift already to Taylor Swift, the Swift gift? Never. Are you Swift? Are you Swifty? Do you not like her?

I like her old stuff. I don't really like her new stuff. I like Travis's old stuff. Those early receptions he made. Yeah, do you think they match me in having these two? I think they're going to get married and he's going to take her money. I just see it that way. Yeah, I finally, one for the men.

She's going to be paying alimonia. Yeah. Oh, man, their pre-up must be like, quite a, quite a feat of architecture. Yeah. It freaks me out. What preempts? Well, the idea of, like, being so rich that you're, like,

you can't trust the person you're married. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I understand a pre-up in some ways, but being that rich that it's like, that's why rich people want to go to Mars. They want to find somebody that doesn't understand. understand money and doesn't care, likes them for them, you know, and they find a space,

a space alien. Goblin, yeah. I saw an article that they figured out how to make, like, little, basically scuba suits for cockroaches so they can put them on Mars and walk around. Well, that's good. Yeah. I figure, like, why are we doing that? What the hell's going on?

Well, yeah, it's not like we have a perfectly good planet here to do stuff on. Does it just think it's a lost cause? I mean, like, it just seems like they're starting from like, well, prehistoric times, cockroaches are around. Let's start there. Let's just let it evolve for thousands and thousands of years. But, like, what if we, like, it does happen in 100 years? And they look back at this time right now, like, we would be, like, cave people to them. Yeah.

What happened in 100 years? Like living on Mars. Oh, okay. It's going to be difficult because there's no like air there. Yeah, it's going to suck. They're all going to have to live inside for the rest of the earth. It's cold and red. So they could build like big domes that have plants in them.

They could, but you do that here. Yeah. Though our world is slowly heating up. But I'll be dead by the time it's a problem. That's the right attitude. Yeah, just wait for death. I mean, it's worked for everyone else so far. No, it's true.

But yeah, it's the, no matter how far they get in the discussion of living on Mars, it will never leave total recall zone for me, where it's going to be like in domes. And everything's going to be gross because there's no way to, like, let any fresh air in on it. So everything's just going to be kind of like covered in crime. And I can't wait. Personally, I can't wait. I hope I live along enough to make one of those trips to the Mars. Dave, what's going on with you?

Oh, no. It has a sad. It's not bliss. It's bliss. Not much is going on with me personally. We recorded yesterday and nothing's changed in my. life. Last weekend,

I went, well, you have, we had to reorganize today's thing, today's recording because you have reservations at

Tiki. A shameful Tiki. Oh, you have to get a rezo there. There's no way you can get in without a rezzo.

Really? I've never been there. I went once without a rezo. It was in the middle of a snowstorm. The city was shut down.

Yeah, no, you got to have a rezo. Have you been? I've been once. Yeah. And you get drunk pretty easy in that place, I'll tell you.

Yeah, they cut you off after like three drinks. Not me. Oh, really? But like. You seem like you could handle it. Yeah. And it's, you know what? The price is pretty good.

Pretty good for. Oh, really? Yeah, for the boozyness of the drinks. Are the drinks like really big like fishbowl type situation? You can get the fish bowls or you can get kind of ones that are just kind of like individual fish bowls that are quite, they're quite big. And it's quite a lot of one flavor. You know, like eating soup is like,

you just like get tired of the flavor halfway through. And everyone's piss. Tired of soup? I get kind of tired of it halfway through. And I'm like, I need something to break it up, you know, a piece of cornbread or something like that. Yeah, noodles, exactly. Have you, do you think you might become a tiki guy?

So what would I be if I had a tiki guy? I'd have to get like a collectible, like a wooden glass. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, Hawaiian T-shirts. Yeah. T-shirts. I guess there's just white shirts, I think.

Do you have any Pucas? Oh, I have long-sleep shirts. Pucas, they would get lost. You wouldn't be able to see them. I could be wearing them right now. You'd find them in your stool. And the time I was there, they had, I think,

Polynesian dancers. It was like two women and then like one of the women's daughters. And she was so good. I was like, if this seems like a Canada's Got Talent kind of thing, being a good Polynesian dancer. Sure.

I imagine there aren't very many venues for that. Well, Taylor Swift's wedding. Yeah, they're going to have a hole. Well, like the restaurant, there's a restaurant in our neighborhood that used to be a flamenco Oh yeah And now it's not

And I just don't know where the flamenco people go Yeah that's a really good When we were in Regina taping the debaters We were in like kind of what was like Kind of a school kind of auditorium kind of thing

And we didn't know Until we showed up that there was a salsa competition happening in the baseball Oh, good. Luckily, like, it worked out time-wise, but when I showed up, I was like, whoa, that's, you're really going to hear that on the old recording. Was anyone like, salsa competition? I'll bring some nachos. Anyone do that?

Yeah, maybe. I brought my tostitos scoops. But, yeah, it's... Yeah, we're having toastero scoops. Of course. Yeah, they're great. They are... I don't think they make them.

anymore, though. No, they do. Oh, do they? They're coated. Do you feel like you get too much salsa with one of those scoops? Just the right of it. Well, I don't use them in a scooping nature.

I use them to build a tray of nachos. And so every scoop gets a little bit of bean and cheese. They can hold it. That's really good. And then, you know, whatever comes next, that's none of your business. The sour cream. Sour cream quok.

Oh, man. A little bit of a little bit of salsa on the side. Do you get any other Tostitos variations? Restaurant style. Oh, yeah. A restaurant style. Hint of lime. Though I've noticed that they've been getting thinner.

They're not as sturdy as they used to be. They used to be. Yeah. I can't say that, can I? What, curse? I'm actually, that's the theme of the bar I'm going to later. It's from a movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dinner. And also, Drag Me to Hell also had a similar. Had a similar. Have you seen that movie? Yeah. Isn't it the best? I've only seen it once, though. It's worth revisiting because it's really really make a funny, gross movie.

Send help was, did you see Sand Hill? Oh, yeah. That was awesome. Raisel me, Matt. I got a minute. She's the best. Raceel, man. Megadamia.

So you're going because it's your wife's birthday. Correct. I didn't get a birthday party. Well, your birthday's coming up. When I turned 40, I didn't get no birthday party because it was COVID. Right? You know what I got? A pack of smokes.

But she had a party the other day. Yeah. And I was invited. For all the friends. For all the friends. How many parties are she having? Is this the two? This is the two, I imagine her family will probably have some sort of cake arrangement for her.

I haven't, I didn't purchase cake because then day three of two people sharing a cake, it's kind of, you know, it's too much cake. Yeah, I need a new belt. Yeah. Not with this, now with this type of belt, I can keep the same belt forever. I didn't know what to get her for a birthday, so I got her a gift card to a bunch of restaurants. Yes. including Boston Pizza. Boston Pizza.

Earl's. Was that on there? Was Red Robin one of them? No, I think A&W was. Nice. And Pita Pit. Yes. Which I thought was the funniest one.

It is the funniest one. But then also skip the dishes. I think you could just use it for skip the dishes. Do we have a Pita Pit here in our Fair City? I've only had Pita Pit in our Fair City. I've had it in Cologne. I know Colona. Oh, Colona is Pita Piton.

Central. Yeah, yeah. I just know I've had. added in Kelona. Pita pit. Whenever anybody brings up Kelona, I ask if the PETA pit pit is still there. Okay, we got to look it up. You've been to a PETA, I'm assuming?

I think so. Oh, there's one at UBC. Oh, shit. Oh. Yeah, I'm from Alberta, so I think that was the first time I had a PETA, and I went, This is a PETA? Kind of let down. Yeah.

This is it. This is what everybody's been talking about. Had you heard of a Pita before a Pita pit? I think so. I also, like, didn't have hummus till late in life. No, that's okay. Yeah, this is a bunch of stuff. There's a few things that you're just like, as a kid, put it in front of me.

No way. Yeah. But, like, Pitas, I feel like they had a real strong scene in the 90s. I feel like they were almost health food. Like, it was sort of adjacent to, like, wheat grass. Yeah. But not the way I loaded it up. Good.

Because it was when I still ate meat. So eating a vegetarian pizza would be disgusting. It would just be eating a salad without dressing. No, but it was just like, yeah, you know, you would put it out in sort of like a, I remember seeing it in sort of like with, you know, dippable cucumbers and. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. And so you're like, oh, is this good for me?

Yeah. A little bit probably. And then you eat it and you're like, dry. Yeah. If it's like, if it's not like the, the yummy, like, I used to work at a Greek restaurant and they have like pizzas, but it's like bread. Yeah. It's not like the, the, like, kind of thin. Yeah.

Those thin ones, they're good for a day and then they are. They're crackers. Yeah. This Greek place you worked out, what was their best dish? And what was their outlook on life? Oh. It's one of those places where you go to a job interview and they hire you on the spot. Yeah, you look like you can walk all right.

You'll be hearing from us right now. You're hired. I actually, I think I had, what did I have? I had the flu and they made me work. I was like sweating. Had the job interview? No, this is like after I worked there a while. Like I think I'd just started working there like a few months in.

But yeah, I remember like having a fever and sweating and like they would not let me go home. Jesus. And also, this is the... If I went home every time I sweat it, I'd never get anything done. But they had a shooting there, like, right before I started. I think we've talked about this before. But I can see why they'd have trouble bringing in new staff. Yeah.

An opening just... A job opportunity just opened up. So, as you're doing the interview, they're wheeling them out on a body bag. Don't turn around. And how do you feel about wearing a uniform? Okay, it's Kevlar. I'm going to open up this Glob soda.

Here we go. Sounds refreshing. So, yeah, I went to that party. Went to a bar. Went to a bar. Went to the Lido. Which is, used to be,

I thought it still was, cash only. It was a cash only place into the point where it was like when nobody had cash. You know, like everybody had to then take money out of an ATM

that should cost you $7 to use. I don't know anywhere that's cash only anymore. And like the places that were five years ago that were like,

I'm a little bakery. Yeah, I feel like you could still, there's like places on Kingsway. I feel like places where they'd be like cash only.

Oh, I wonder is that there's a place that sells Jamaican patties on McDonald Street that for a while was check only. You know, who could rob that place

is fine. The guy Catch me if you can. Frank Abigail, Jr. Yeah, the, so yeah, I thought it was casually. They got cards now. You can use cards. I like that bar.

Yeah, me too. And they had a DJ that was going to be playing heavy metal. Yeah. But it wasn't super heavy metal. It was kind of like. 70s. Yeah. Heavy metal.

Like social background. It wasn't like screaming stuff. So when I saw that that was what it was going to be, I was like, oh, this is going to suck. It was pretty good. It was all right. I, um, yeah, we went there. We walked there.

Yeah. And then we walked home because you were going to a dance party afterwards. I said, no, no, no. A dance party. I'll tell you about that, because that's what I've got. And, uh, we left at about 10. I don't know, we left at like 9.30 and the dairy queen on the way home was closing. Fuck.

It was, we got, we walked past it at 9.53. I'm not going to bother those people. Yeah. They're already cleaning out the machine. Yeah. Yeah. What machine do you think they're cleaning out? Ice cream.

Okay. I was at... They don't clean out the machine. I was at a dairy queen. And literally the second it turned 10 o'clock, the guy behind the counter was like, this, it's closed. It's got everybody like they started pulling the garbage can in from outside. But just the fact that he was like, we're close. Get out.

Like, I really like that. They never do that. They're just wait around watching you. Like, what are they going to leave? Yeah, have you ever been, like, the absolute last person at a bar or restaurant where, like, everything's been cleaned up? And there are, they've played closing time by Semi-Sonic three times already. And then, you know, they're doing that, like, have you ever stayed when they're doing, like, they're basically doing cash out? Lights come back on.

Yeah. I've done it a few times. Feels rude. You're in the only chair that's not upside down on a table. Yeah, exactly. But then sometimes it sort of would be like, it's fine. You can stick around, doesn't matter. But at a point it's like, yeah.

It's not fine. But you've got nowhere else to go, you know? Yeah. And I'm talking the classy places. I'm talking taco tie and not Taco Bell, you know, that's no good for a date. Anyway, so I went to this birthday party. You had a great time, saw some old friends. Yeah.

They had a... Photo booth. Oh, did they have claw machine? No. They had photo booth. Did photo booth, haven't done photo booth in a long time. Was that coins? I didn't pay for it.

I think that was card. Okay. But only three poses, which I think four, isn't four? Four poses is the standard. Yeah, this is three poses. Too hard to get in a lot of funny faces in three. Yeah, because you have to do one face crazy. Yeah.

One face, you got to do the last one normal. You got to do a normal one. So you got to go crazy. sort of maybe like kissing. Yeah. And then like... Evil. Yeah, some sort of evil.

And then normal. What's, uh, do you ever, do you have a collection of those? I have a collection of them from over the years, but... I do. Isn't it cool that they still exist? Yeah, like, I like the ones at the Roxy because you can pick like the border of the... Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

What's your go-to? I can't remember. I was at the Roxy though, like a few weeks ago. And The Roxy for people not here Is like Vancouver's biggest club It's like the most famous Like longest running club

It's a meat market It's a meat market It is in the heart of the entertainment district And I've never been It's from the day I arrived here in town It's always been A punchline Like it's always been like

Hey we're going to the Roxy I think I maybe went once for like five minutes I've done shows in there I've done stand-up shows in there all terrible Yeah mine was pretty bad Was that why you were there? No

Me and my friend wanted to go out for like The World Cup like go to Granville Street We went to like We're like oh well We don't no one's gonna talk to us So then we were like Let's go to the rock seat We were standing in line

And there was like Oh we're And then like everyone in the line Had to like bunch up together Because this woman was like Puking right By our line And she was like

Not someone who should be out drinking. Like she was older. We were like, we were like, girl, get your life together. Hey, I'm the president's daughter. Was she holding a briefcase? No, she was dressed like Snoopy. Okay.

Yeah, I've been, did you get in? Oh, yeah, we got in. And it was mostly just like guys in their 20s hitting on us. And it was really weird. Because, like, the 20-year-olds just don't dance, like, older generations. They kind of just stand on the dance floor, which is kind of weird. Like, some of them dance, but it's mostly a lot of standing. Yeah.

And all the guys had bad breath. Yeah. I feel like that's true. Well, bad breath, like, from a specific thing or just, like. But he's drinking? Or, like, did you guys just go to Peter Pit? I was just like, I guess guys just don't brush their teeth anymore. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. Gen Z's killing the toothbrushing business. We just don't brush our teeth. Yeah, I do like that. And then they would like, be like, oh, chopped dung, brushing his teeth. But there is like that sort of thing of like, oh, you millennials wear short socks. Yeah, at least I brush my teeth, bitch. Millennials brush their teeth.

Okay, brush your teeth there. No, when you were on Granville Street, was it like party atmosphere because of soccer? Yeah, yeah. Was it fun? Because I've been, I've been toying with the idea of going down there on like maybe a weekend night wall, FIFA's still happening. Like, I was going to do it last night, but it was rainy. And like, I thought it would just be hard to get home on the train because it was. Because there was a game here.

Yeah. But I was like, I think it was Switzerland and Al. Yeah. Yeah. I don't, you know. You should go for like once a, like a particular match, like when a winning match, then I think the street's like really fun. Oh, when if Canada wins? Yeah.

Yeah. You might be running out of opportunities for that. Or like Mexico just won and it was like a, I saw that it was a huge part. They were throwing each other in the air. Yeah, that looked like fun. I mean, I would hate it, but it looks like fun to watch, you know. It wouldn't be like racing to throw you in there. It was mostly young women, I think.

Come on, guys. Let me have one go. Oh, please. Right this way. Yeah. Worth doing or overrated? I think you should because it's like a once-in-a-lifetime thing for sure. Yeah.

Okay. Well, I'll go on Saturday. Win or lose. Whoever is winning or losing. I'm going to go on Saturday night. Canada plays tomorrow. But they're playing in the morning. Yeah.

But any celebration would be Canada. Canada-based. That's true. Yeah. Even if we lose, though, do you think? People would be still out. I don't know. I think if we have a big population of a certain country, like, we have lots of Mexicans,

so that's why the, yeah, yeah. Let's see what's coming up tomorrow. When's Mexico in till? Are they still, still in it? Uh, yeah, tomorrow, yeah, Mexico's still in it. Mexico plays Sunday at five. Okay. That's going to be a party.

Against England. Shit. Try and beat that hurricane. The hurricane. Okay. Anyway, so yeah, I went to your wife's birthday. What's going on with you? What's going on with you?

I also went to my wife's birthday. And we went to the Lido. Will she be thrilled we're talking about her? Oh, over the moon. She'll probably listen to it more than once. Just put it like as soon as it goes, you just zip it all the way back to the beginning. So we, the first part was at Toledo. And the second part was at the Fox Cabaret for their Millennium Dancing Night.

And this has been the first time I've been in a dance club. Let's say, aside from the Roxy doing stand-up comedy, maybe not this century. Okay. Like, it's been a long time since I've been in a dance club. And the Millennium Dance Club night is music from December 31, 1999 through January 1st, 2000. Yep. And it was like I knew all the songs, which is fun.

It's fun when you go to a place and you know all the songs. And it was packed. It was packed. So I forgot what it's like to be in that atmosphere. You've just experienced it very recently. Yeah. Were the young people dancing? They were dancing like crazy.

Everybody was going nuts in there. Yeah. How was their breath? Yeah. How was it? I don't know. Nobody was hitting on me. So I never got close enough.

to tell. But it was so packed and you end up, unless you really plant yourself somewhere, you do end up kind of being pushed around all kind of all over the place. What are those dastardly Bhutabi brothers there? Oh, are they the Knight of the Roxbury guys? Yeah. Do they hump you? For a second. I thought even the Bacon brothers, the gangsters that killed people there.

And I know they weren't there either. Um, no, it was, uh, uh, at one point I went to the bathroom when I came back. I'd lost, I'd lost the crew. And it was only that we had, uh, Brad McNeil, tall man, Brad McNeil was the only way I found my way back. Oh, sure. To the crew. Um, was he like, uh, tour guide? He had a big, uh, flag that he held up.

Find me. Right this way. And it was fun. It was fun as hell. Um, there was. So. there's like the DJ set-ups on the stage and then in front of the speakers like people

are allowed to get up and dance in front of them without being taken off by a bouncer but one of them was occupied for a long time by a bachelor rep party and I don't think fucking bachelor's rap party's ruining everything yeah no matter what club you're at they're just honest god

and they wouldn't they were just there the whole time there's one today at the Madison Square Garden oh what was her that's really probably just went to a comedy club and ruin the show. Talk about us. I think that's what I do for my

bachelor party. Go to a comedian who I don't like. Go to their show. Yeah, I, uh, boy, you can see it coming too. You see that Sasha a mile away. Yeah. Last night at my show somebody, they literally were walking by, saw that it said comedy, came in just because they were like,

what comedy show is on right now? And then I talked to them in the lobby, and they were like, our friend Taylor, it's his birthday night. Can you like burn him or something like that? I was like, no, I can talk to him, but I'm not going to be like, hey, what do you do? That sucks.

You suck. Hey, we all hate my friend. And his name was Taylor. Oh, yeah. And he worked in bioengineering. And he was just like the real Taylor's Swift. The real one.

He's an imposter. And I gave him a toy dinosaur for his birthday. So it's... Oh, he came in. They came in. Yeah, yeah.

Even after you were like, I'm not going to roast your friend. Yeah, get the hell out of here. But, uh... Even if you told him, get the hell out of here? I need the numbers, Dave. I can't turn anybody who comes in.

There was one time I was like, we had five audience members or something like that. And then this whole family walked in, like, mom, dad, kid, grandpa. Oh, wow. Like, all from...

The burger family. Yeah, they were all from Tennessee and they were just here on the cruise and they were in for the night and they just walked by and they were like, comedy show. So like, 12 of them came in and I was like, wow, this is going to be hard.

This is going to be really difficult. They weren't bad. They weren't bad. I thought it was going to be a lot worse. But, you know, if you're ever in Vancouver, people on cruise, is stop on by.

You can do that. You can take a ghost tour. Gastown's got it all. But yeah, so I went to a nightclub, and it's, it was fun. I don't know that I would go back any time soon. But also, I'm too old. I'm the old guy that would be not puking, but people are you here, old guy. Why are you?

I need to puke. Although maybe in my old age, maybe that'll be how I spend my Friday and Saturday night to just go and hang out at the bar at a dance club. and they'll just be like, ah, he's always here. What was the music? You know, there was like, it was like pop, pop hits from the, from the aughts. Is it like Backstreet Boys? There were some Backstreet Boys.

There was some Brittany. There was definitely, I think, maybe early Gaga was in there. What, Lady Gaga? They're really loose with this millennium. Well, you know, like who's auditing it? Oh, it's just the aughts then. It's not late 90s. Some of it was late 90s.

You know what? It was a pretty loosey-goosey... What Gaga song? Original, the big first one. Was it poker face? Was it Just Dance? Just Dance. Just Dance.

Just Dance. Gaga. This came out in 2008. Okay. I'd say that's a little late. That's a little late, but it's still, yeah, it still counts. And then... drank a whole bunch and then

like had I got my I like had a coat check and I did a thing which was very smart like they said like take a picture of your ticket as soon as you get your ticket Oh yeah yeah I was like okay that's really smart and then the next morning when I woke

up I was like I went to the front door and I had bought a t-shirt I don't remember buying at the coat check they had the Fox Cabaret T-shirts and I'll take one please But yeah, so I got a cool new shirt and be the envy of all my friends. I do like a place just like having merch. Yeah.

Yeah. A new sandwich store in the neighborhood and I bought a mug from them. Did you? Yep. Nice. I was like, got to support this new endeavor. Do you have you ever bought anything from a restaurant or a nightclub? Oh, when I was a kid, do you guys remember that it was, I'm not talking about original Joe's.

I'm talking about Joey's only. The fish shop, it was kind of fast food. Yeah, yeah. We had them in Calgary. I think they're also in Manitoba. Yeah, my mom bought me like a teal shirt that had a fish on the front, and I wore it like every day. And the fish has sunglasses, if I recall it correctly. I think so.

Yeah. And that became your look. It was my look. Yeah. Not bad at all. Grease on my shirt. Yeah, my nephew loves fish. Like, he loves eating fish, which I think is a very rare thing in a kid.

What age? He is six. Yeah, that's weird. Yeah, it's weird, right? He doesn't like pizza, doesn't care about any of that kind of stuff. He loves fish. Does he like different preparations or does it have to be fish sticks? No, he'll eat classic fish and chips.

He'll eat sushi. he'll eat just regular old kind of cooked up fish. Yeah, there's a new generation of kids eating sushi. Yeah, but like fish, you know what I mean? That was like punishment food when I was growing up, especially for me, I'm allergic to. Your parents were very strict. Fish sticks, yum. Fish sticks are goaded with the sauce and the sauce is tartar sauce.

Yeah, the tar sauce. That's the only reason you eat fish sticks. There's at least once a month. There's some apartment in our little quadrant of the hallways cooking fish sticks. And it is. Fish sticks. Yeah. Oh, it's unmistakable.

Really? And that, like, so smelly that it goes into the hall? Yeah, but it's like, like, Sally nailed it right away. She's like, that's not just fish. That's fish sticks. That's weird. Yeah. Because, like, I know, like, apartments are notorious for cooking smells coming through the door.

And usually, like, a fish is recognizable, but I don't know if I'd know a fish stick. Um, me neither. I didn't grow up with them in the house. Uh, Captain Highliner had no place in our, uh, our hierarchy. Um,

but yeah, so anyways, I own a Fox, uh, cabaret t-shirt, uh, go to the highest bidder. I don't know how much I paid for it.

So let's say, $50. Yeah. Um, yeah, so, uh, go,

uh, check out your local night club. Check out your local dance club. Do the, uh, cabbage pat. Yeah, do the cabbage patch, do the electric slide if you have time. I can only do a silly dance.

I can't earnestly dance. I feel like the key to dancing at a nightclub is to have a drink in your hand at all times. And so you're not doing anything too crazy, but you also have a focal point. Yeah, sorry, I can't robot right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did say to one of my friends that I want to learn new dance moves. And I was like, I want to look at the same. them up on YouTube and like practice them

learn them and my one friend was like that's fun invite me over and then my other friend was like why would you do that? I was like. It's like you have an angel and a devil I was like oh I guess I won't do it your vote counts for two

oh damn you're right why would I do that and then you both of you turn on that one friend who was being supportive This was a test and you fail. But, uh, oh, I also, for some reason started, I was like, I'm going to drink one drink the whole night. Like, so I'm not mixing drinks or whatever. Uh-huh.

And I ordered a, no, peroni. No. Okay. Is that like a mixed drink for a no? Nogroni. Nogroni. And I had one. I hated it.

Yeah. I was like this. I was like, well, we'll see how number two goes down. And then I drank them the whole night never got. Never got good. Yeah. Weird and like bitter. But then I realized what I wanted was an Averill Spritz.

But I forgot the name for it. So I thought it was a Nogroney. Those are good. Avril Spritz? Yeah. Oh, they're amazing. But all night I didn't do that. I drink something I hated.

It's an easy drink to make because it's equal parts. Yes. But it's very bitter. It's very bitter. Yeah. Yeah. It's not my favorite. And also, we thought ahead and we were like, okay, Sunday is just going to be a hangover day.

So let's not go got nowhere to go. Is tomorrow going to be a hangover day after your big... Not for her. She's going to travel to her parents tomorrow. Me, I'm going out on the town Saturday night by myself. Well, no, you're going to... So you're having Tiki tonight and then tomorrow you're getting thrown around by Canadian soccer fan. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard?

Sure. All right, we're over 70 episodes into our show. Let's learn everything. So let's do a quick progress tech. Have we learned about quantum physics? Yes, episode 59. We haven't learned about the history of gossip yet, have we? Yes, we have.

Same episode, actually. Have we talked to Tom Scott about his love of roller coasters? Episode 64. So how close are we to learning everything? Bad news. We still haven't learned everything yet. Oh, we're ruined! No, no, no, it's good news as well.

There is still a lot to learn. Woo! I'm Dr. Ella Hubber. I'm regular Tom Lum. I'm Caroline Roper, and on Let's Learn Everything, we learn about science and a bit of everything else, too. And although we haven't learned everything yet,

I've got a pretty good feeling about this next episode. Join us every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. If you want to know what's going on in the world of movies, you should be listening to Maximum Films so we can tell you all about it. Okay, but what if you already know what's going to, on in the world of movies. What if you're kind of obsessed with movies? Like, maybe you have a problem? Well, then you should definitely be listening

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Overheard's a segment where we overhear things out there in the world. We share them here on the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest. Randy, do you have an overheard? I do. I was asked last minute, so I had to outsource. That's true. You were asked last minute.

And so I text my friend Steph, who I think she's been on the pod, Steph Neal. Yeah? And this is her. So she works at... Oh. Are we not... You can start it again. Okay, okay.

Okay. So this is my friend Steph's. So she was at work and... Where does she work? And there was like, there was a mom and her, like, son. And there was, it was pride months. There was, like, a pride flag. And the little kid was like, what country's...

that. And the mom was like, you know how your aunt likes girls? It's the country she lives. I should do that when I'm doing flag stuff with my kids. What's the episode of pride? James, I'm saying, I guess. Yeah, I, the pride flag for a long time was just straight rainbow, but now there's like a triangle aspect to it.

And then also a circle? Am I? There's a circle? Isn't there a circle inside the triangle? I feel like it's the triangle and then there's a circle in the middle of it and the rest is rainbow rectangle. I did always wonder what's the brown on the flag? I don't know that.

Yeah. Hmm. Well, do you want me to go through the mall? Here we go. Because I'm the guy you go to. For flag stuff, this guy's got it all. Is there a circle in there? See?

There's a circle in that one. Oh, this one does have. This is from What the heck is the circle is what I want to know. God, why do I have to be in charge of it? I'm going to have to find the article that says what's on it. A list of pride flags? You want people at home, do your own research.

Yeah, guys, come on. But the boy, here's the progress one. Oh, there's different ones. Yeah, there's so many different ones. They have them all at my vet for some reason. They do? Yeah, well, you can get, like, take home a little pride flag. You get to pick what sexuality or animal is.

Just so. Oh, the circle is for intersex. Intersex. Oh, okay. Okay. And what? The polyamory pride flag has the pie symbol. Oh, okay.

I didn't know they got their own flag. Oh, now you would have them not have their own flag? What's the one that kind of looked like a wrestling flag? That's the rubber pride flag. I don't want to say these things because we, this is a show where we make fun of things. And I don't want us to be seen as making fun of the rubber pride community. Okay. That's a cool flag.

It is a badass looking flag. It does look like a lightning bolt. Dave, do you have an overheard flag or not flag related? This is not flag related. This is a dream I had. It's an overdream. Okay. Now I famously have very boring dreams, but this one's quite exciting.

Okay. Are you still sleeping on the other side? This happened while I was sleeping on the other side. My shoulder has, I did my exercises and it's repaired itself. And so I sleep where I want. Because for a while he was sleeping on the other side of where he usually slept and had vivid, vivid dreams instead of his boring dreams, which are famously boring. I once had a dream that my travel agent was retiring. No, this is much more in the boring category.

So I was having a dream that I was meeting my girlfriend's dad. Who was your girlfriend? I don't know. But he was very critical of me. Oh, no! Because I had designed the cover of a physics textbook. That's the most boring thing you could design. But I did a bad job of it.

He didn't think it was, showed a good, like, he didn't think it was like a good design on the cover of the physics textbook. And it was a, like an electrical transformer. You sure? With a Toyota Corolla just transposed on top of it with like 50% opacity. I think it's pretty good. Yeah, I mean, I guess energy is a big part of physics. Yeah, and you're not a physicist. You don't know what else to go on that.

No, I'm a graphic designer. No daughter of mine is dating a graphic designer that doesn't know his physics. Did a bad physics textbook. Yeah, but I'm getting work. My overheard was more an interaction, but it was based on last week's episode. So last week we read a jumbotron. It was from Liz to Brad, let's say. Sorry, we only remember Liz.

But so that night, last night, I went to LMG. She's working the door. And I was like, oh, we read your jumbotron today that you sent to a friend. They screwed it up. It was supposed to be to her. Oh. So really let the old cat out of the bag. Who screwed it up?

Not us. I looked it up. Oh, okay. So it was the two and from were in the they were flippid. Oh, so that, blame it on Brad. Yeah, blame it on Brad Cahall. Anyway, she was pretty stoked that it was, and it's still coming. Yeah, and congratulations on.

What do you mean by Jumbotron? Oh, so we do these messages where listeners can. That is a fair question. Listeners can send in a message and have us read it on a show on our Jumbotron, which is kind of a big screen that you have at, you know, your wedding if you get married at an arena. Oh, yeah. Do you think anybody's going to slam dunk at the... Oh, yeah. Do you think they'll do that thing where they, like, have the noise meter on the JemboTron and everyone's got a... I can't hear you.

And do you think they're going to do a fun thing where they see people in the crowd having fun and they're putting them? That's when they do the kiss. It's on the kiss cam. Yeah, that would be good. They're going to have so much fun. And, you know what they say? The bigger the wedding, the stronger the relationship. Now, we also have overheard sent to us by people all over. If you want to send one in, send it in to SBY at maximum fun.org.

And this first one comes from John T. What a Johnty guy. Is that fun? That is a lot of fun. I was out shopping at a big box store and walk past a mother and her two children having a little bit of an argument. I didn't hear the start of the conversation, but it sounded like one child just wanted to go home. He said, you're just here talking with everyone.

I've been in that situation before. You just here talking with everyone. The mother said, I'm not talking to anyone. The boy responded in an annoyed tone. You're talking to me. Caught you. Caught you with technicality. Got your ass, mom.

Also, the opposite of, are you talking to me? You are talking to me. Yeah. Anyways, that's John T. You mean from taxi driver? Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Tony Danza.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Uber driver. I, uh, oh, with somebody else also sent in a boring dream. Oh, good. Yeah. This is from Olivia G. The dream.

Uh, my boyfriend letting me know he was going to borrow my flashlight that was in the kitchen drawer. What does it mean? That's the whole dream? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Not enough. Not of detail? Well, like when my travel agent was retiring, I like had to get stuff done.

This was a crisis. Do you still have a travel agent? Oh, yeah, Lily. She tells me when I need to renew my travel insurance. Is it coming up? No, I didn't buy any this year. Oh, shit, okay. Because I only use it for traveling into the United States, and I am not doing it.

Yeah, everywhere else. they kind of take care of you. Well, you need travel insurance for, you know, a hospital visit. Yeah. We went to Mexico, but I only got a month of travel insurance. I used to go to the states all the time, so I just bought a year of it. Those were the days. Anyway, thanks, Lily.

Thanks, Lily. This next one comes from Kurt W. In Brattleboro, Vermont. On the road from Brattleboro to Keene, New Hampshire. There are two billboards close to each other that you can only see in this order from one direction. Billboard one, injury lawyer and a good person. Billboard two. Injury lawyer only.

A couple of buds working on a campaign together. I, geez, would you rather have an injury lawyer who's a good person or claims to be a good person or an injury lawyer who... Oh, I want the most dastardly lawyer. Yeah. I want to get a good settlement. I want him showing up with a neck brace. He's actually going to cause some injuries because he's not a good person. That's right.

He's not a good person. He doesn't care. He's all injury, no lawyer. And this last over scene is from Russell M. It's the back, you know how like a truck will have like a message like decal, decal, decal, decal. This was in loving memory of Larry Beauchere's. then underneath it, the monster energy drink symbol. Yeah, that's big.

Yeah. Remember, that's what he loved. He loved in life. That's how he died. His heart exploded. Do we think, is the Monster Energy drink on more trucks now than Calvin? Oh. Kissing Calvin.

Not a lot of Calvin's anymore. Yeah, you don't see him as much anymore. No. You know, for a long time here in Canada, it was everything was fucked through. Oh, yeah. But yeah, maybe. And Katie Perry, she took that seriously. I don't mind if I do.

It was on the back of her spaceship. Oh, you know what a lot of trucks have now? Punisher symbol. Oh, that's cool. Or upside down. Or American flag with blue line on it. Yeah, the thin blue line. And then maybe an Arab American flag upside down.

Yeah, pineapple upside down. Oh, sure. There you go. Let people at the gas station know. Yeah, this is my favorite kind of cake. In addition overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1.844-779-7631. That's one.

Ugh. SpyPod 1. You can also send us a voice memo to SPY at maximum fun.org like these people have. Now, did you say there was like, was there Kirk? Kurt? Let me see. Who from, who had the two? The injury lawyer, Kurt W.

Kurt W. I think we also have an audio overheard from Kurt W. Well, he's in the area. You know what? The left hand and the right hand don't talk to each other. Yeah. Not like puppets. Yeah, we have two different interns for the different kinds of overhears.

All right, here we go. Hey guys, this is Kurt from Vermont calling in and overheard. I was just taking a little swim in the river here in Vermont, and there were two boys playing around in the water and their parents trying to get them to come back home and were trying to bribe them by promising an episode of Mandalorian. And they were ignoring them until all of a sudden one of the boys turns around sharply in the water and says,

I want to watch an episode of Mandalorian tonight, but I came here to have a nice, relaxing river soak, and it has not been that long yet. No friggin way. I need so much time to soak in the river. Would you soak in a river? Wouldn't it just send you down the river if you were soaking in it? It's not like a lake.

You can sit on the shore and just kind of... Yeah. Okay. You're not in the Whitewater Rapids. Also, like he said, the river in Vermont, just the one river running through the whole state. Look,

Kurt, uh, don't write in overheard. You got, share your voice. Yeah, you got a great voice. But also,

people, if you, uh, you know, I'm running alone. Um, yeah, I mean,

everyone send what you got. There's another one. Hey, Dave and Graham and guest. This is Adam calling from Toronto with an overheard. Uh, I was on the bus the other day,

and this guy gets on and sits down behind me, they immediately hear that crack and moosh of a transit beverage. And the guy just starts talking to anyone who will listen. He really hones in on the older gentleman just sitting next to him. And he tells the guy that his name is Alex and that he hates his parents for naming him that because it's too much to live up to Alexander the Great, you know. He then asked that older guy what his name was. And the older guy replies that his name is smoke. Alex is really hyped by this. He says, oh, cool. Like the Mortal Kombat character, right? And Smoke just kind of nods his head. Anyway, I thought that was pretty funny. Smoke's like the color-swapped

gray ninja from Mortal Kombat. Okay. He used the smoke instead of ice. Do you guys think you live up to your namesakes and who do you think has it harder namewise Smoke or Alex Anyway, love you have a good one I think smoke has it

Way harder Oh I was gonna say way easier Oh hard Who else who else is smoke Aside for Mortal Kombat Do you think Like is Alexander the Great Looming so large

No one's thinking about this person Yeah True Also if you like you for name, like, a historical name like Alexander the Great. There are more famous recent Alex's? Alex Bekeaton. Alex Trebek.

Alex, isn't there, uh, some sort of Alex Incorporated or some kids show called Alex something? Of course. Alex Mac. Oh, maybe that's it. Alex Mac. Um, and then like, have you ever met an Alex? Yes. Oh, I'm friends with an Alex.

Oh, yeah? You are, too. That's true. Are you, are they like, I'll never compete with. No. Alexander the Great. What if your name was Hannibal? Would you be like, oh, I, I, there's that Hannibal crossed the Alps all those years ago.

And there's Hannibal Burras. And then there's the A-Team member. And then also the guy that eats your liver with a candy. All right. And Mr. Lector. Boy, they are all competing. Yeah. Yeah.

If you met a Hannibal, like, it would be immediate comparison. That's a cool name, though. Mm-hmm. What about, okay, so do you live up to your names? I guess the most famous David for me is the guy who fought Goliath. Yeah. Yeah. For me, I think it's Alexander Graham Bell.

Oh, really? Even just his middle name. Yeah, I think just a middle name. I mean, I can't think of that. That Alex on the bus must have been like, I'll never live up to Alex. What about Graham crackers? Graham crackers you get, and I can live up to those.

I feel like I could live up to the cracker, no, no problems. What about Randy with two E's? I could never be on the Toy Story soundtrack. What? Randy Newman. There's no other Randy's with two E's. Oh, there's no two E randies. Randy's.

Travis is a Y, I think. Yeah, oh, yeah, they're all Wyes. You know what? You live up to it. Randy Mottraman Savage. Oh, yeah, but he's a Y as well. They're all... Why is your spell with T's?

Was that a fun invention of your parents, or... My mom said she saw it in the credits of a TV show. So you have to live up to whoever that was. Yeah, I got to work in TV. Oh, wait, do we have one more? I think we do. Oh, my God. I'm just killing time.

Hi, Dave, Graham, and probable guest. This is William calling from Boston, Massachusetts. I was sitting at a bar in East Boston, and two gentlemen sat down at a table next to me. A girl from an adjoining table leaned over and asked one of the guys if they were on a flight from Nashville earlier today, and the two gentlemen say, no, we're actually from Britain.

We just flew in for the FIFA game. And she says to them, oh, you must have a doppelganger then. And in all seriousness, took a moment to pause and said, I'm not sure how to say doppelganger in British. No friggin way. Doppelganger. Okay.

Yeah, that's the right way to say it. I don't know. I can't do other regions of British. Oh, do... Hockenay. Yeah, do... Jason Stasem, that one, where you're talking to you. Yeah, you can do Jason's anthem or Vinny Jones are pretty similar.

Yeah, Vinny Jones, and then... I'm trying to think of how to do, like, a really posh. Like Sporty Spice? Like Sporty Spice? Or, you know, Kate, Kate Middleton. Yeah, she's a woman of few words, but one of them is doppelganger. I feel like they would say, like, Father. To say either farther or farther.

Oh, yeah, sure. Can you do any British accent? You're known for your voices. There you go. One word. Well, that brings us to the end of the podcast. Randy, thank you so much for being our guest. For having me.

Where can people find you online? You're very, very funny comedian. If you haven't seen Randy do stand up. or her album. You must, must, must do it. Where can people find you? You can find me on Instagram at Randy Noodle. And that's two E's.

Two E's and two O's. Nice. Well, thank you very much for being our guest. Thank you everybody out there for listening. If you feel like you can't live up to your name, guess what? You can change it. Change it to somebody who sucks. That's why I change my name to Wolfgang Amethystase Shumka.

And come on back next week for another other episode to stop podcasting yourself. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artists-owned shows supported directly by you.