Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 957 - Niki Mohrdar

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

Comedian Niki Mohrdar returns to talk cold plunges, production company logos, and Face/Off. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! And welcome to episode number 9.57 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. And with me as always, is a man who's just as steamy as I am here in this non-air-conditioned room, Mr. Dave Shumka. So, my, okay, here's the thing.

Break it down. Our air conditioning guy, I love this guy. What's his name? Michael. Michael. Michael, okay, Michael. Michael, his dad used to be our air conditioning. conditioning guy.

This is handed down to him. Michael's been great. He comes every year. He does a full service. This year, our air conditioner was broken, and I was like, okay,

I got to get Michael in early. He's normally our winter, like HVAC, but he does air conditioning. I mean, that's the AC. That's the AC. That would be a good slogan.

We're the AC. You got a problem with your HVAC, AC, KAC, Kack, Kack. And it has Kathy from that. Sure. Or Billy Joel. That's what I was going on. You know,

AAC. From a cafe. Yeah, they really are an acclimated heaven, those two. But the, um, uh, so he is, he, I told him it's broken. I looked online. I was like, I think the problem is the capacitor. Yep. Because, you know, there's a test you can do.

If you, if the, if you can manually make the fan run by pushing it with your fingies, yeah. It's the capacitor. Okay. And you can fix that yourself. If you know how to open it, which I don't. Mm, yes. Uh, and so I couldn't.

And so I called him. And he's like, okay. Okay, yeah, but it's the capacitor. Let me order one. It's a specific one. And then it came and it was wrong. Or it was broken and he's like, got to wait longer for a new one. So, Nick, it's a Friday now.

I got to wait until Monday. It's been not too hot, but today is muggy. It is muggy. But what I also want to say about this is last year I called a plumber. What was his name? I don't know, because he came from a company. He wasn't a guy. He wasn't a guy.

I like Michael because he's my guy. He's my guy. He's your guy. But I called a plumber. Who are your guys, Mark Maren would say? There's Michael. And the plumber came from this company. And there's these companies that are, you see them around town.

They've got like an AI. There's like 10 of these companies that have like an AI art wrap around their van. Yeah. And they do everything. They do plumbing, but they do HVAC. They do whatever. Like, I don't know, laundry. Yeah, they do laundry.

they come over and do your laundry for you. They do like duct cleaning. Oh, yeah. All kind of home things. But this guy came. He was good, but I just hate this kind of company that is like,

the guy comes. He's immediately like, they wanted me to subscribe. They were like for $20 a month. Dave, we got to introduce our guests at some point. For $20 a month, you can subscribe. You can be one of our premium members

of our plumbing and everything company. and also as soon as he was done, he's like, pulled out this QR code. Now, give me five stars on Google. I hated it. Yeah, well, that's the business world we're in now. I need my guy. That's why I will... Yeah, but your guy still doesn't fix the problem.

Yeah, but my guy is being crushed under the heel of capitalism. So we've got to support my guy. Our guest today, which we're going to get to the bottom of all her HVAC questions and answers, very funny comedian. She has her first ever friend show? Second friend show. She's her solo friend show. Solo friend show in September at Little Mountain Gallery called Sanction Me Daddy.

Yes. Yeah, I like it when you say. Yeah, well, that's got to be a little sauce on it. Yeah. Sniggy Mortar. Hello, Nikki. Hello, thank you for having me. Do you have air conditioning in your place?

I have one of those like portable units. Me too. Yeah. Have you busted it out yet? I have. I busted it out on and then it started raining that day. So I thought that was a sign. from the world that I should have waited a little.

Yeah, I'm still waiting. I'm still waiting for the day that it's like too hot. Really? You haven't busted it out. No, it's, because we're on the shady side of the building. So we'll get the sun. We had like a really hot June. Yeah, we did.

Wait, you know what? Some high muscle through without the air conditioner. Well, we're going to do it today. We're muscling through it today. All praise to Michael. We're thinking of you. Actually, I did hot yoga today. So I was in a 35 degree room.

Oh. So this is, it's prepared me for this. It didn't smell this bad, though. No, no, no, no, no. Do we want to get to know us? So, yeah. Get to know us. So you, um, 35 degrees.

How do you, how does one cool down? 35 degrees for the Americans is like a hundred, is. Yeah, sure. I have no idea. I can't do the conversion. But like, what do you do to cool down? You're at 35 degrees for what, an hour? An hour, yeah.

So then what do you do? How do you like, Honestly, I heard that doing hot yoga helps with, like, the day to day in the summer because your body just gets acclimated to the heat. So this is really my fight against global warm. Yes, global warming. That's what they say about when I first went to eat fa. They were like, oh, they eat this in Vietnam. And it's already really hot over there.

Yeah. Soup. acclimatizes you to eat. They say the Bedouins drink hot coffee all hot hot hot climates. Yeah. Yeah. At 35 is 95. But you know what I find with all these things?

It doesn't work. No. It just makes you hotter. Yeah, yeah. I went to the, I took my kids to the pool this week. And there was a sign saying, cold plunge, warmer than usual. Now we're talking.

That's the kind of clodgge I can get into. Just a regular tub. Yeah. Ooh, it's a little cold. Yeah. Would you, have you ever done a cold plunge? Yeah, I love a cold plunge. Yeah, I love a cold plunge.

I really don't like saunas. Okay. For some reason it burns the inside of my nose. I can't... Oh, yeah. The aloe? I don't know what it is. Eucalyptus.

Oh, maybe it's that. The, you, have you, how many... Have you done a cold plunge? No. I don't mean either. It's too cold. Yeah, too cold. You've never done a cold plunge?

What do you think? Like, who do you think we are? It's just so quintessentially Vancouver. Every second business is a cold plunge slash sauna business. Yeah. So every second business is that. And the other ones are boba tea. Yes.

Vap shops. A lot of the vape shops also have cold plunge in the back. Have you done a boba gold plunge? A boba where they put the boba in the plunge. Yeah, there's a little beets. You get one giant straw. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't gone to that one yet, no.

Have you done many cold plunges? Honestly, so many of my friends like doing it. Like, it's just become such a thing now. Oh, my God, social plunges. Yeah. I blame Vancouver. I do blame Vancouver. Where are you from? I'm from Vancouver.

Point that finger back at yourself. You're part of the problem. It's just such a West Coast vibe in my humble. But I like the cold punch. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel powerful. How long are you in for? It depends.

Because they have the kind of cold and then medium cold and then very, very cold. And I'll go into the medium cold one for like a minute. Okay. So you're not in there. Because you'll see like sports figures Like sitting in one for minutes at a time I don't know if you'll see that

Like like you see it on like You know the Olympics You see them sitting in a cold plunge before and after But when are you watching? How much footage are they spending? I assume it's for minutes and minutes But I'm only watching it for five seconds I don't know where you're watching your Olympics

You got to tune in man And what athletes are they? Winter athletes? Summer athletes So divers go in the cold plunge afterwards They dive in. And by the, like, are they on so long in there so long that they have, like, icicle on the tip of their nose?

Yeah, and their teeth are chattering. Well, my teeth would be chattering for sure. Your teeth chatter? No, no. I really enjoy the, like, stilling of the mind aspect of it. Okay. But there are. Not a problem for me.

There are, like, weird dudes who are there being very loud. Being loud, like, like yelling at each other. Or yelling, oh, it's so cold! I wish it was that. I wish it was that. It's cooler than I expected. Ouchy, ohchy. No, they're more like grunting.

Oh, okay. Yeah. That's unpleasant. In a tub. Are the cold plunges, they're like standalone businesses. They're not attached to like a gym. I'm sure there are some in gyms, but most of them are standalone businesses in some alley in Mount Pleasant. Nice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you only need to be a cold plunge place. I guess you just need that apparatus and water. Yes. And then like a little poor. affordable sauna and a woman named lavender who works at the front desk. Yeah. I've been to a couple of places that were like natural food or, you know, that kind of stuff.

And they, man, they pick the person who works at the front desk very well because you're like, I want to look like that. They're going to go. Oh, sure. Oh, I want to look like this person must go in it all the time. Yeah. Yeah. They've curated an experience for sure.

They really have. Yeah. What time of music you got? Oh, there's music playing? I have no idea. Honestly, I usually go with one of my girlfriends and we're just like yapping the whole time. Ranting like crazy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever done like a polar bear swim? No. For some reason that I won't do. I haven't either, but I've done like at camp one year, they were like, if we're, uh, if anyone wants to do it, we're waking up at 6 a.m. And jumping in the lake or whatever. Yeah.

I remember this camp was. And I did it. And people were like standing on the wharf being like, oh, am I going to do it? And then I just ran and did it and I regretted it. Because I would like, immediately like couldn't breathe. Yeah. Yeah. It's shocking.

Yeah. My aunt who lives in Northern Ireland does it every day. Wow. She goes in the ocean every single day. Wow. Good for her. And this is like the North Atlantic. So like cold.

Yeah. Has she seen benefits from doing that? Yeah. They get government benefits. Yeah. She's part of a program. She's on the doll. You go there.

You can see billboards of my aunt everywhere you go. No, it's good for your joints. It's good for, like, arthritis stuff. Oh, yes. So it's supposed to, like, that kind of, like, keep that at bay. Yeah. And does she swim or does she just dunk? She goes in, she swims.

She hangs out in there for a while. Her and her polar belt house, they'll just stand around in the ocean and chat for. Right. Can they understand a word each other's? No, because it does. And they have those Irish acts. Yeah, exactly. So it's hard to you.

It's already hard. But, yeah. The only thing I've ever done that's in that world was I did a float tank. You ever do a float tank? The concept frightens me a little bit. That is still in your mind, isn't it? Yes. It's...

I'm scared of my mind a little bit. And that feels like it's really forcing you to go in there. Not if it's really cold and you can't get out. Then that's really just because of about survival and not so much about the stillness. Can you not get out? Or you have to like, there's an emergency. button you can hit? Yeah, there was an emergency button.

Dark in there. Where'd that button go? Also, they don't, you don't want to be the guy who hit the emergency button. Exactly. Was it cold? Yeah, it was, it was, it was supposed to be room tempter. It wasn't. It was definitely colder.

And it was salty. There was a woman in the pod next to me. We went in at the same time. And then they forgot that we were in there. So we were in there for 20 minutes longer than you were supposed to be in there. Oh, my God. Which is one minute. Two minutes.

It'll break your mind. I'm the kind of. I have that attention span where I would, like, something that was supposed to be one minute, I would leave it for 21 minutes. I was just getting there. Close the door. I am constantly, like, you know how, like, if you leave the house and you're like, oh, did I leave the stove on? I'm constantly actually leaving things on. Not dangerous things, but, like, sometimes, like, I'll barbecue something.

and you're supposed to leave the grill on for five minutes afterwards to, like, burn off any, like, meat residue. And sometimes I'll go out an hour later and be like, oh, fuck. I think I'm the same. I've been barbecuing the sky. Yeah. The other day I was making tacos and the recipe called for, like, putting the corn tortillas into the oven. And then I was like, I can quickly film a self-tape while I get the heat up. I'll quickly get a self-tape out of the way.

And then smoke is billowing from my oven. Do you ever use your oven for storage? Oh, like. I saw a Reddit post once that someone was like very mad because they came home and their partner had turned on the oven and burnt all of their bags of bread. Oh, my God. I sometimes will like put a cookie sheet that I want to dry back in the oven. Oh, yeah. And then forget about it.

And Abby's mad at me. But, like, how little are you paying attention to your living arrangement that you don't know that we keep bread in the oven? Don't worry, honey. I'll make dinner tonight. Well, it just makes sense because bread comes from the oven that it should be. It's where it wants to be. Yeah, I know, like, I know of people who don't use their oven because it's an entryway for mice. Oh.

Because anything that, like, plugs into the wall. No. It's a way in. I know at least one person that's had to like seal up their oven because that's a user error. Yeah.

No, it's not. It's Vancouver. I don't think mice are getting into ovens. Well, why would my friend seal up her stove if it wasn't getting into the oven? Well, stove's not an oven. Well, into the oven, rather. I don't know.

Do you think she's crazy? I think there might be a, you know, maybe a problem at the oven factory if there's a hole that lets it a mouse. You have to be ground level for that, right? Yeah, that's true. Mice aren't climbing up that high. Yeah.

Have you lived in a place with any vermin's? Yeah, and when I lived in Montreal, we had a ton of mice in our apartment, and that was scary. And then we also had a pigeon problem where we constantly had pigeons coming onto our balcony. And I didn't realize that their, like, fecal matter is toxic. Oh, really? No, I find it's really good.

I find it true. Yeah, that's overblown. It's fine. I think most fecal matter is toxic. Is it? Well, like, there's a reason it's... Dogs seem to go for it in a big way. And then they get, you know, worms and...

And then the process repeats itself. But like, yeah, mouse poo, rat poo, bird poo. None of it's good for you. Yeah, I mean, it had like... And this is disgusting, but it had, like, caked into, like, a new layer onto the ground of our... balcony. Yeah. And we were just four, like, 20-year-old girls who had no idea what to do.

You easily, when you're 20, you can live in trash. Exactly. Yeah. And we did. Call one of these companies that does it all. They'll power wash it. You got to rate them five stars. Yeah, you got to rate them five.

Oh, God. But I want Michael. Michael doesn't do that. Michael's age-fack only. Although, you know what? He'd look. Yeah, yeah. He'd tighten up some.

He seems like a good guy. Oh, he's the best. When you lived in this place, were you going to, University in Montreal, right? Yes, yeah, yeah. So you were living in this place. Was it your first place away from home? Yeah.

Well, no, because I lived in the dorms in the first year. And then in the second year, we moved into this apartment. But dorms, you can't, there's some sort of, right, standard of cleanliness that you have to meet. Like, you can't have dorms you can go crazy? I mean, I didn't live. You're not, like, cooking food. Yeah, exactly. Not a lot of hot plate, maybe.

Exactly. And also, like, the people who are looking after you, quote, unquote, the RAs, ours were just like a year older than us. I was an R.A. That was, and we had people from Ontario who were like, had done grade 13. So I was a year younger than some of them or I was the same age as some of them. And you get to boss them around.

They did not listen to me. So, because I remember like the first apartment outside of my parents' house. The guy was really clean, the guy that I lived. So it was the next place that I was like garbage city USA. Because it was two dudes that didn't know you should clean the place. Neither was had girlfriends or any women were coming over. But to clean the place? No, to bring women over.

Dave. To impress them. Well, I don't know what you're. I don't know what you're. Dave, Dave, Dave. Graham, you're the one who stepped in it. We have a, I am in a position where I like women. We invite them over, but we didn't have girlfriends, and our place was a mess.

So we wouldn't invite girls over, you see, is what I said. Maybe what you met deep down. Were these all people from university you lived with? Yeah, they were all people who I met in university. But I actually find that sometimes, and maybe this is a controversial take, but sometimes I think women can be grosser than men. Go on. Just like in the dorms, the girls' bathroom.

Disgusting. I've heard that about girls' bathroom. Disgusting. What? What is just garbage everywhere? What are they doing? What are they doing in there? I don't know.

I've gone from pigeon shit to human shit now. But this is what we're here for. This is what we're here for. This is what the people want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I would just go into the bathroom and there would be like, just like vomit in the sink. Jesus.

Yeah. Okay. There was a lot of party fowls. Yes. Yeah. I think I talked about one time someone, you know, went to the bathroom in the shower. And not in the way that you can get away with. Oh, no.

And our solution was, well, let's just turn the shower on and watch it down. Not realizing. No, apparently the, the H-FAC guy over there. Like, I got to bring in a senior member. Apparently, there's only like the vent that they turn on. of the, like, fan that you have on in the bathroom when you take a shower. They only had that, our building only had it on during certain hours that most people showered.

Oh, no. So when someone did this at 10 o'clock at night, it just created a very cloudy. Steamy, steamy, steamy. Sort of a brown cloud. Yeah. A pig pen situation. You can really, yeah, filth it up in your early 20s. And you know no one cleaned that shower after.

No. No, we had to. We had a biohazard. This was in the dorms. So it was like, RRA was like, okay, I'm doing it and got like a garbage bag.

Like basically, like up to his arm. Like you, you know, you could use a dog bag to do it. But this is more dramatic. And he, you know,

disposed of it outside. And, uh, good R. Yeah. And then, you know, we,

uh, you know, then the, the shower could clean itself, be self cleaning. Yes. And it was pretty much not touched. for, you know, until the

janitor crew came next week. Yeah, it sounds like living in res was possibly quite disgusted. No, it ruled. I just started using the men's bathroom. Smart. Yes.

Okay. I did. I'm considering going back and being an RA again. Dave, I think you'd be really good. That'd be a great movie. Yeah. You've got, uh, yeah, it would be a great movie. Who would play you?

You play yourself? I should feel like I've earned it. Yeah, that's true. It'll be like a eight mile where you play yourself. It'll be the true story of a man who went back to be an R.A. The Van Wilder of RAs. Were you an R.A. at UBC?

Uvec. Uvec. Okay, nice. Really nice. Yeah. But, oh, that campus has sure changed a lot. They could use some. Somebody would have a little experience. Several traditional ideas.

Not as traditional as Graham. Yeah, yeah. People coming over and doing the dishes for it. That's not what I said. Women, specifically women. Only women. What did you take in university when you were there? I did a double major in journalism and communication and cultural studies.

Okay. So just two useless degrees. You can be a journalist. You can easily be a journalist. I mean, it's a useful degree. It's just they don't hire them anymore. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

I also studied journalism. And yeah, it's not like what it was. And I, you know, AI, it's right there, you know. Yeah. They're doing a cracker job. It's a cracker job. Yeah, I did do like a lot of internships. Like I did an internship with Vice and CTV.

What was that like? Vice or CTV? Vice was just exactly how you would imagine it to be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Lots of like, very casual just like smoking weed or like drinking and while you're working, which was fine, fine by everyone there.

Did you work on any stories? I was helping. I studied broadcast journalism, so I was helping edit like a documentary series that they were doing. It was very brief. Yeah. But it was fun. It was really fun. You mentioned CTV.

It immediately made me think of there's this clip that's going around from like 10 years ago when maybe Sandy Rinaldo interviewed young Justin Bieber. Oh, my God. And he was like, well, I mean, I'm the only guy who ever came in a Stratford, Ontario. And she goes, actually, Lloyd Rundon. Robertson, the anchor of the nightly news is from Stratford, Ontario. Oh, well, I don't know if he ever made any music. Here's his hit to the keyboard. If you give this a listen.

Look at how meek he is in that interview compared to know. He was a tiny little guy. Yeah. Did you see him? Well, he just was at the NHL draft. Oh. Do you perform? He announced the first overall draft pick.

That's fun. Yeah. Do you wear a jersey? No, he wore a. Track jacket Track jacket, okay. It would be kind of fun if he wore a jersey You know, get into the spirit of things.

Yeah. I think the jerseys are really, you know, resigned, reserved. Reserve for the players. He could wear Tim Beebbs one. I bet you there's a Tim Beebbs jersey. There's got to be. Tim Beams was his

like Tim Bits. His like Tim Hortons. Yeah. Sponsored thing. Yeah. Did you ever have Tim Beeps? I didn't because it was post me not eating gluten. Oh.

Is it a donut-based thing? It's a timbitt. But he, like, made the flavors. He, like, decided the flavor. Did he make the flavors? Well, he maybe came up with a name and said, like, blueberry, whatever, crash or whatever, and they made it into a Timbeat. But they had, like, merch, and that actually sold for, like, big money on eBay.

I could see that. Oh, it still is. Tim Beeb's $164 or best offer for, uh, Tim Beeb's shirt and hat. Oh, God. Yeah. It's a... No fanny pack.

Ooh, okay. Well, now I'm interested. Is this $164 for everything? It's Justin Bieber and Tim Horton's Tim Bebib's March. Beanie. That's a tuk. Fanny pack. That's a bum bag.

And tote bag. No shirt. Okay. But yeah. Who is spending this much money? There were people lining up. Well, especially if you could get it for $139.99. And you also got the

The Bebs Brew Insulated Cup Whoa, I kind of like the bum bag Make offer Actually, yeah I do actually like the tote bag Kind of Yeah

It's not bad either And corduroy Fanny Pack? Yeah, that's good Yeah, that's not Daddy likey But yeah Merch is getting better

I'm finding What's your favorite merch? I just like I guess there's no favorite But I mean When I go to concerts and stuff I used to be like, okay, I'm going to spend this shirt and I'm just going to spend money on this shirt and I'm just going to wear it to bed. But now I'm like, oh no, like bands have stepped it up.

Yeah. Cafes have stepped it up. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. It's from cafes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Also, it's like there's so many places in Vancouver that are places that are 50 years old, like old restaurants, old businesses that finally have merch and they're like, people love our retro vibe. Yeah. And then now I'm, if I go. to a new restaurant, I'm like, I want to get in before. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to be one of these posers. That's what you ask when you make a reservation?

What's your merch situation? Because, yeah, some places have it's right up front, ready to go. Some places that you want to have it. Don't. What are the big Vancouver businesses that have it? Your Duffins Donuts, I feel like. Oh, Duffins has merch? Or somebody makes Duffin's merch because I see people wearing Duffin's shirts.

Down low? No, like the older chicken place. KFC. Yeah, KFSI. Mr. Mattress certainly does. Mr. Mattress. Yeah. And then for a long time, there was you could get a shirt that had Nick's spaghetti house's logo on it.

Cool. I'd buy an old spaghetti factory. I would as well. Sweater. I bet. Yeah, that would be good. A nice cozy sweater? Yeah.

Now, in your mind and go blue sky as big as you want. Uh-huh. What kind of designer we look? Okay, thank you so much for asking. So I do, I do picture like the old spaghetti factory green. Mm-hmm. And then the writing is in the old spaghetti factory. Like, is it yellow?

Let's look up their logo. I feel like their logo is green on white? No, I don't know any green. It's not green? I thought their logo is green. Maybe I'm just thinking about the interior design. Are you thinking of? Yeah, I, old spaghetti factory, it's the, the font is.

Red. Yeah, but I would say it's like Helvetica, except that they're macaroni pieces. That is true. Okay, but wait, I was going to say the strings, they would be squiggly, like noodles. So you would be green, it would have the logo on it, and then the hoodie strings themselves would look like noodles.

Yeah, they would be like kind of squiggly. I don't know how they would figure that out, but I'm sure the old spaghetti factory would figure it out. They figure it out. This is good. Thank you. Anything on the back? Maybe just like a nice photo of like a bowl of pasta.

Or their salad that comes with everything. Like something that's like or the ice cream. That ice cream? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't been in ages. It's not a, it feels like it's a Canadian thing, but it's a international company. Oh, I didn't know that. It's an Italian-American style chain restaurant in the United States, Canada, and Japan.

Started here in Vegas? Well, it's based in Portland. God bless them. Portland is the Vancouver of the state. The chain was founded in Portland, Oregon in 1969. Oh man, remember that summer? God damn. Me and my buddy were playing guitar.

The Canadian faction is based in Vancouver, but yeah, you know what? This history is disputed. But I like your idea for a design. So now this photo, is it a photo on the back or is the design of the... It's drawn. It's drawn. Yeah, yeah. They work with a local artist.

Yeah. Yeah. Good. Good. Very good. Would you get, like, if you got Beaver famous, what would you do a, the way he did Tim Hortons. Uh-huh. Would you do as an old spaghetti factory, like, you know.

The Nicki meal. The Nikki meal with like, you know, merch and your food of your choice. Right. I mean, now that I know that it's also American, no. I would want it to be just purely Canadian only. Canadian only. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not putting any tariffs on my meal.

Yeah. Yeah. I would partner with my A-track guy, Michael, to do, you know. Would it be you and him kissing? No. Graham. Dang. No, we would do like, we come up with a special capacitor.

Special exclusive capacitor. Yeah. A lot of times somebody will like work somewhere and then they get the company's merch, or they go to a convention and then they get, and I love it. I love when there's a shirt that's just like Benadryl. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, those are good. I mean, you've had two beers now from Main Street

that have had your likeness on them. No, and I can't drink either because I can't drink. Oh, true. We should have gotten you a seltzer or something. Yeah, get ourselves. Everybody out there with a seltzer company. Get in time. Were those both drawn by past guests, like logos by Chris von Somba.

Yes, yeah. He's so talented. He's amazing. He's an absolute genius. And, yeah, so I don't know, merch-wise, I feel like I've done my part. Yeah, yeah, you have. It's up to you, the new generation to come up with your own merch. Trying to think where I would want to partner with.

Yeah. Yeah, there's only so many Canadian restaurants. Yeah. If you're from Vancouver, you don't have, like, a strong fondness for Swiss chalet or anything. Yeah, that's true. I guess there's Cactus Club, but I don't think they'd want to partner with me. How come? I don't know.

I'm not... Cactus Club material. I was going to say something rude, but I won't. You're Bieber. You're Bieber famous. Oh, I'm Bieber famous. Okay, yeah. You're right.

You're right. You can do it with any Canadian company. Any Canadian company. Any Canadian company. You can do it with Enbridge. You can do it with Speedy Auto Glass. You can do it with Mr. Tubesteak. Honestly, for some reason, Popinos keeps coming to my mind.

And it's just like a small little Italian. You can do it with Wawa Nisa insurance. What is that? I don't know. I see their logo on a building around down. Following you around. Me and this building are having kind of a serendipity, me cute. Is there a fast food chain that's just Canadian?

A&W. A&W Canada. But it's disputed what those letters stand for. Last time that you heard. Last I heard. Now this is like you didn't hear it from me. Yeah. But the last time you heard.

But it's based on sort of. the foundations of their restaurant, which are ambigism whoopier. Yes. That's like a, that's an honest reaction. Canadian fast food chains. I mean, like, there's White Spot. Oh, true. You got Tim Horne and White Spot, um, uh, Triple O's.

Um, Harvey's. Harvey's is cross country. What about, what's his name? Smokes, smokes, Spoutinery. Smoke's butinery. Booster juice. Oh, yeah, New York fries. Mary Brown's chicken.

That's out. I think of all of those I'm going White Spot. Hmm. Okay. Yeah. So you're partnering with White Spot. Yeah. What are you doing?

I'm calling it Middle Eastern Spot. Okay. Middle Eastern Spot, right? Do you have like some items on a menu that you can try out? I'm doing a burger. You're doing a burger? What type of burger we're talking about? Obviously, a Middle Eastern one.

It's a lamb patty. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I've already sold you guys. I mean, yeah. There's a, there's like a sort of like feta cheese type of situation. On the side, we're going to do some zoo sticks, but we're going to do a like a zoo zucchini.

They, yeah, they do the zucchini sticks, right? Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, instead of fries, we're going to do zoo sticks. Okay, so healthy. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm famous now, so I have to be sort of like putting out a good message. That's true. Like Justin Bieber does with his donuts.

Exactly. Precisely. And, yeah, so some zoo sticks. And then maybe like a fun little lemonade on the side. Okay. Nice. Yeah. And then you're having merch as well, or this is just menu it?

Yeah, the white spot merch. What's the white spot logo? Is it a chicken? It's a chicken. I believe it is a chicken, but it might also be macaroni shape. White Spot logo. Well, they got the words there. They got the words there.

But why do we all think that it's a chicken? We don't all think that. Oh, yeah. There's this one. There's a chicken. Oh, yeah. I like that. That is pretty good, actually.

It'll just be, instead of that chicken, it'll just be me. You, but still with the fork and spoon? Maybe with like a microphone. Oh, that's fun. Okay, you're tying it back in. That's good. This is good. I don't know.

We'll get the artist's work on that. That's not my job. This is really good. Now, all we need you to do is become a huge pop stuff. Yes, yeah, yeah. You can be Bieber famous with your friend's show. That's true. Yes, that's what I'm hoping for.

That's our main goal. You never know when Usher's going to be in the audience. I like what this girl's doing. The worst one, absolutely like bottom of the barrel one was the Ryan Reynolds. What was that? Scambled eggs? Scrambled eggs and like weird, you know, whatever their baking would be like kind of very, Cardboardy.

No, it's great. Is it really? It's the best bacon and the biz. But it's just like, why did he do it? I honestly, I don't really like him as a person. Okay, he's actually kind of Van City Reynolds here. He's kind of our golden boy. So let's be careful what we say.

It's not even like anything like socially or politically that he's done. There's just something about him that irritates me. Yeah, I think his whole thing is that he would be here. Right? Because he's supposed to be like a sarcastic. guy. He's handsome and funny. His whole thing is he's a good guy and handsome and funny and let's be nice about it. But also, he left Vancouver. Yeah. In the dust. No, no. When he grew up, Vancouver didn't have Tim Hortons. And by the time he left Vancouver, when we finally got Tim Hortons, he was gone. He was living in L.A.

So he is allegiance to Tim Horton. Fabricated. Yeah. Yeah. And he, uh, sometimes he'll throw Vancouver a bone, you know? Oh, yeah. And it'll be like, and we're just, we eat it up. And he mentioned, oh, if anybody mentions anything, Vancouver, we love it so much. At any point, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think Seth Rogen has done that pretty well.

But we like Seth Roweck. Yeah, we like Seth Rennels. Yeah, yeah. Ryan Reynolds. I wonder if they had any merch that I can get. Ryan Reynolds's merch? Scramble eggs. Ryan Reynolds, Tim Horton.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I just can't even picture him in that meeting being like, you know what I think we should make. Big bowl of scrambled eggs. I feel like he wasn't even in a meeting. I think they just said, hey, we're doing this. You sign off on it and he said, yeah, sure.

Yeah, definitely. I think you're right about that and there is no merch. I guess there is this Ryan Reynolds, Tim Horton's donut box. Okay. I don't know he also had donuts with them. Well, hmm. Ryan's signature donut. Le Benier, Zigne, Ryan.

Five bucks. Only five bucks for this merch. It's an empty cardboard box. Do you collect anything? Are you a collector? Hmm. Not that I can think of right now. No.

I mean, I guess I would know. Yeah, you would know. But like, do you spend any time on eBay, anything like that? I guess like vinyl records. There you go. Yeah. How many vinyl records, roughly, do you think? Yeah.

I probably have like 40, but I used to do this thing where I would go and record stores, I don't know if they still do this, but they used to have like a box where it would be like one to five dollar records. And I would just pick like two or three from there and then take those home and listen to them and see if I like them. Okay. So I have a lot of stuff that I'm like, I have no idea who this person is. Yeah, they sometimes have free ones at, what's the one on Main Street? Audio pile? Nope. Neptune. Neptune. Oh. Yeah. And they'll just like on a Saturday morning if you walk past there's a free box and. Oh, nice. It's, you know, Von Meeter's the first family. Yeah. Herbalbert's deal on a breast. ass. Yeah. I did a very funny joke with Sal and I were at a thristore and I found a record that had a big chunk

torn out of it and I brought it over to her and put the nice side out and I was like, can you tell me you see any scratches on this? She pulled out there's a whole half

of the record. Nice. That's a good little gay. You know, we can all get behind. Did she laugh? Yeah. Good one, Grail.

Yeah, thanks. But yeah, like, I guess you'd have to be a collector to want that stuff, or at least you'd want it as a conversation piece. Like, you know, I've got this Tim Beeb's hat. Aren't I odd? Yeah.

I mean, the best would be showing up somewhere, Tim Beeb's fanny pack hat, tote bag, and coffee cup. What? Yeah. Did you just get that? No, I bought this before Elon went crazy. What does that have to do with anything? I just tell you, I bought it a while ago.

Can we stop talking about the way I look? Yeah. It just happened. It was laundry day and it was all clean on the same day. You put the coffee cup in the laundry? I do. I'm crazy. I'm crazy.

I'm Elon. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, it's been a week. Is that the Bar-Nic lady's song? Been a week. I went, oh boy, so much is going on with me. Did I mention that the AC guy hasn't come? It's not too bad.

It's honestly not bad. No, it's not bad. Yeah. So we'll be fine. Yeah. He'll be here on Monday. He said never let me down before. That's true.

This is my... You know what? You should random five stars? You know what? I don't even think I can. Really? I don't think he's that online. He's not chronically online like you and me.

One thing you listen to know is Graham and I were on a, were guests on a podcast. Yeah. We were guests on the guys podcast where we talked about SNL guys. This is a podcast. Every week they do a different type of guy. So like Batman guys or Lego guys. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it's a really good podcast.

It's very easy to listen to. We were, we were SNL guys. So do you pretend to be the guys? No. No, we go, yeah, the host. Murder Brian. he goes through chat rooms and Reddit threads and, you know, YouTube comments and kind of brings up these weird guys. Yeah, it was mostly guys from the SNL babes subreddit.

Yeah. Talking about how hot. Oh, man. As well, people are. And we laughed at them. Yeah. You can imagine. Yeah.

Yeah. Just think about a guy and then think about a thing. And then you're like, well, I recently discovered a subreddit called, uh, hottest funny, females. Oh. Yeah. And there's some, there's some locals.

Oh, wow. I did make the cut. But then I was looking through it and some of the photos aren't even me. Oh, shit. Yeah. It's just you as a brand, really. Yeah. Well, you get that,

now that you're a brand, you can get that. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I'll let white spot know. Um, but like, uh, is it, is it as creepy as it sounds?

I mean, there's no comments, which is both. good and disappointing. Hey, the only thing worse than being talked about? Not being talking about. Exactly. Exactly. It's both mortifying and soothing.

No, every week our episode gets posted on Reddit and between two and five comments, sometimes seven. Yeah. But, you know, the Discord, that's where it all goes down. And a lot of them are like, show us your feet. Yeah, show us your feet. I heard Dave has a weird cyst on there. Wait, it's not you guys. You guys posting on Reddit?

No, it's the weird guys when you talk about them. I respect them if they're listening now. So here's what's going on with me. I watched a couple movies this week. Yesterday I took my kids too, the Minions movie. Oh, I actually have heard that it's decent. Minions, well, they're all good. Yeah, they are all good.

Oh, okay. This is minions and monsters. We're talking about minions here? Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my kids have I gotta go. I think he's leaving. I have a feeling my kids aren't having the most like stimulating summer.

I keep finding like little handprints that they have made from putting glue on their hands and feeling it off. It's like, hmm, that's a sign of boredom. Oh, I used to love doing that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we went to the Minions and Monsters movie. I was, you know, sprung for the vibrating chairs, the D-box seats. The M-box re-named for the minions run. Yeah, it was M-box this time, the yellow seats.

And pretty good. Yeah. You know what? Bob Stewart and Kevin are not in it. They're the main minions. Stuart's not in it? Bob isn't in it either. Not to mention Kevin.

They've got two to three new minions. One of them does sign language. Oh, that's cool. And I mean, they all should because we can't understand what they're saying. That's true. There's one that they explain these a little hard of hearing. There's more minionese in it than your usual minion movies. So you do kind of make up.

What's a minioni? Minionese is their language. Oh, sorry. And I've seen videos, and I loved every single one of them, of women singing in minion famous pop songs. Oh, yeah. doing Bohemian Rhapsody in Minion, singing it live. And I was like, this is the Gen Z, Sims language.

Simlish, yeah. Simlish, yeah. Yeah, it's very satisfying. Yeah, yeah. Did you know that Katie Perry did a version of, I want to say, last Friday night in Simlish? Really? Yeah. Is it good?

Oh, it's the best. Yeah. Our first lady. Yeah. Yeah. He, she has a music video and Justin Trudeau is in said music video. No way. Yeah, he's like jumping around in the music video.

No way. I just saw a clip of it and it just seemed like a video she made on her phone. Well, either way. He's jumping around in the back? He's popping. That's way worse. Hopping is way worse. Anyways, our former prime minister.

I need to see that. I need to see. I would love to just watch one of their dates. Like just observe them having a conversation. Yeah, I want, they, like, I know the space is already crowded, but we need a podcast from these two. Yeah. Oh, the takes they'd have. He's kind of a random guy.

He is a bit random. And she's always been random. Yeah. Do you think they got married, do you guys? I hope so. Yeah? At Madison Square Garden. Oh, my God.

No, they would have to do it at the Gallup to Saddle Dome. They can't get Madison Square Garden. Yeah. And they probably can't get at it. Sandler to officiate, but maybe Russell Brand. Or Ryan Reynolds. Oh, Ryan Reynolds could be there. This will be marriage three for her.

Yeah. And two for him. There was a guy speaking of the Madison Square Garden. They met marriage three of six for her. He's got a punch card. There was an artist that went around the outside of Madison Square Gardens and collected any kind of garbage that was related to the web. and sold them in plastic cubes and he like made a small fortune because it was like here's the stuff from outside that day like a little you know clear plastic cube of garbage but still I hate that but also I wish that I had thought of it yeah I mean yes yeah my when I worked at CBC one year I went to do the Canadian country music awards in Edmonton and the year earlier I think they were in Saskatoon Paris of the Prairies yep and

Taylor Swift was there and she was like giving an award to her old record label because her first record label was Canadian. Right. And this was before she, this was before 1989. So she wasn't like playing stadiums yet, but she was still like, she had done red. That was her most recent album. She was big. And apparently like all the people who were covering the event, all the journalists were like screwed because she brought with her a device that like, or her crew brought a device that just like

wouldn't let any signals out like it like killed everyone's cell phones and Wi-Fi and stuff so I imagine I imagine inside Madison Square Garden was like locked down that times a million yeah I can picture like

you know in movies where there's alien radiation or something that have to scrub somebody down yeah that's what I'm picturing everybody has like and also who are all these people who are these people No one's No one's

To listen to us anymore They're all on that subreddit For funny Funny Potties Yeah No there was a big list Of people who went

Yeah But like That's a lot of How many people does that hold? I mean it probably wasn't fully filled out Yeah I don't think she was You know

She didn't think she could fill up the upper Some proffic tickets No because she's got to like Not 60,000 people Like weren't getting The chicken or pha?

Yeah, I guess the whole wedding happened there. They didn't all go. I think they just picked it because it was like a venue that could have maximum security. Yeah. They could have done, you know. A prison. Attica. Or what's the San Francisco, the one on the island?

Alcatraz. They should have done that. That would have a beautiful. Beautiful wedding of Alcatraz. I bet that's more of a Lady Gaga thing. Yeah, I was thinking like, who's going to. kind of a witchy kind of Bobstar. Or crazy. Yeah, like

Billy Elish could get married in Alcatraz. Yeah, it's, uh, anyways. Also, Billy Elish gets married at Alcatraz to Jason Kelsey. Um, I think that guy looks like a thug there. I said it. It looks like a thug to me. Travis? Yeah. Oh, Travis. Yeah.

Anyways, look. Look, we all wanted her to end up with Joe Alwyn. I wanted her ban it with John Mayer I thought she could lock him down But he cannot be tamed No he cannot Yeah Also is he straight?

I don't even know Nobody even knows Yeah Yeah it's hard to tell Yeah They haven't released test results yet So that was one movie I saw And I also watched this movie

called Sing Street Sing Street It's an Irish movie that came out 10 years ago About boys starting a band in Ireland. Okay. Um,

in the 80s. And they like, you know, it's a, uh, tough school and, you know, they're wearing makeup and getting beaten up and, um, but it's, uh, it was good movie. But I was watching it on Tooby. Okay. And I was, Toobie has ads. Mm-hmm. Tube has ads.

Okay. Sub-Haz ads. Uh, and I was blown away. I had never seen so many, um, like the, the production company. like logos that come up before a movie, there were seven of them. Oh my God. And so I wonder, we can't watch it here, can we know.

But like, I was just going through them. And one came up and I'm like, yeah, whatever. Elevation pictures, fine. Never heard of it. But whatever. Film nation. Oh, I know that. Yeah.

And then likely story. Oh, I don't know that. Merced Media. How many of these are there going to be? Palm Star. And then the sixth one, the Weinstein Company. Oh, no. And then the Irish film board.

See, were these all logos? Or did they have like the little... The little like... Whatever. Yeah, like 10 second thing. Yeah, because I feel like a lot of them will fake you out where it would be like somebody and then touches a water and it ripples and then you're like, this is the big end of the movie.

Yeah. Surely this is what the beginning of the movie is. Surely this kid fishing off the moon must be part of the movie. But any of those productions that are like co-pro between countries or countries where it's got like a lot of like film. Well, I got to get my logo next to the Weinstein's. But yeah, like do you, when you see that, you're like, oh, am I watching a weird film that took a lot of? lot of stuff to get it made or yeah you're already on tubi well also like few of them were like oh these are just like someone made this in you know i movie yeah this like 10 second animation

uh but yeah i ended up liking it good movie yeah what's the do they uh triumph somehow oh i mean yeah no good good yeah things aren't going great for the irish in the 80s no No. Famously. Yeah. Do you ever play in a band? Do it? Did I have written?

Well, the school band. Okay. What did you play? Yeah. I played the trumpet. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you keep up with it?

No. What grade? I was very young. Grade six and seven. Okay. And how did you find the ambassure? The ambassure? I'm familiar with the ambassure.

Isn't the ambassure? It's for Woodwinds. They all have ambassure. Don't they all have different ambassures? What is an ambiture? It's a like a shape your mouth has to make. Oh, you have to like kind of purse your lips. Yeah.

For the trumpet. Yeah. When I got braces, I got braces at around the same time and I was really hoping that they'd be like, you can't play anymore. Sorry. Yep, trumpet has an umbuchar. We know how much you love the trumpet, Nikki. And good news, you'll be able to play it for the rest of your life. Okay.

So form your, there's five steps. Steps to form your trumpet ambassure. Okay. First, the corner set. Say, hi, my name is. Hi, my name is. To ensure your facial muscles engage. You want the corners of your mouth firm, but not overly tight.

So you say it like, hi, my name is. Then flat chin, stretch and tuck your bottom lip against your bottom teeth. Okay. I can't do it. Good. Do not overtuck it into the teeth. Flatten your chin so it remains smooth. Okay.

Flatten your chin. I'm trying. Your chin is so pointy right now. I'm a regular J-Len over here. Lightly touch the mouthpiece. Well, we don't have that, so just use your fingers. To the center of your lips. Most professionals recommend a placement of 50 divided by 50 or 60, 40.

What? What the hell? I think it was supposed to be a slash, but it replaced it with a divided sign. Top lip to bottom lip. Ensuring the, okay. For airflow, keeping an open throat. You got to keep an open throat. You have to even up and through it.

Blow air directly through the center gap, the aperture of your lips. And number five, posture and angle. Keep your body relaxed. Right. So I wasn't doing any of that. Really, just the first two sort of, the first three sort of seem like mouth. Yeah. The last two are kind of attitude.

Do you remember any of the songs you played? There was one song called Let's Go Band that I really enjoyed because the trumpets, like everyone who played the trumpet got to stand up. at one point we weren't playing the trumpet. We were just dancing with the trumpet, and I quite enjoyed that. But my band teacher, Mr. Piglet, and yes, that was his name.

For real? Yeah. He... How do you even make fun of that name? It's all right there. He made me sad. He had his deep sadness to him. Oh, of course.

Oh, sure. Mr. Piglet. Mr. Heor. Yeah. And was he good at being? Or was he, everything was everything? Hey, if you're out there and you're listening, let us know if you had a deep sadness.

Yeah. Especially if you're named after any of the Hundredwoods characters. I'm talking. Owl? Rabbit? Rabbit. Pooh. Pooh.

Your. Who else? Is that anybody? Tigger. Tigger. How could you forget about Tigger? How can Rabbit just got rabbit and everyone else got their own name? Well, one of them got the name poo.

So you can't win them all. That's true. Anyway, so we love Ambershires here. We do. We love movies. And my daughter's school band, they did. They had a big show about every year they pick a different theme. And this year it was the World Cup.

So they played some World Cup classics. Oh, cool. Like, Anthemps? Waiting flag by Canaan. Oh, my God. What a blast from the past. They played... The Cup of Life by Ricky Martin.

This is great. I don't think I know that one. Could you sing it for me? Here we go. Ola, oh, lay, oh, yes, okay. Yeah.

You know it. And they played Shakira. Of course, she's the queen of the World Cup. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for everyone for listening, and we're going to send it over to Graham. Now, Shakira and Madonna are playing the halftime show at the last World Cup game,

is what I've been told. Well, for the listeners, I hope you enjoy the. last World Cup game a couple days ago. Oh, right, that's weeks from now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyways, congratulations to Madonna. I'm not here.

Yeah, they still both. They've both still got it. Madonna's kind of scary now. She's always been scary. Yeah, she scares me. I think she's so out of touch with the day-to-day reality of everyone else that she'll post some videos on, like, TikTok or Instagram, and I'm like, oh, someone needs to. What is she saying?

I don't know anything. She's not really saying anything. She's just like, Making scary faces. That's too scary. Hashtag, Daily Scares. She was in minions and monsters. Yeah, it was actually just promo for that.

You got to start watching these videos. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think she was able to get that one. They're just like uncanny. It's like backrooms, but for an instant. Instagram account. Yeah.

So is she, that she haven't, like I guess she must have some sort of controversial opinions, but, uh, because she's always been like press bait.

She's always known how to say a thing to get people talking. Right. Yeah. You know, she's been around forever. She knows how to do all this stuff. Yeah. I watched,

uh, League of their own yesterday as well. So good. Pretty good. I could have trimmed. I forgot that the first 10 minutes of it. Like I thought you saw all the old lady versions of them at the end. You see them at the beginning as well. Yeah, you see with the beginning. Yeah, it's a nice

old lady sandwich. Yeah, there she is on the cover of Vogue. Mm-hmm. Absolute icon. I'm not logged into Instagram. It's a problem. Okay. How many followers does she have? She's got 20.2 million. That's good. White Spot would give her a meal for sure. She's only following 700. Oh, I wonder if Madonna's ever had. Wonder if Madonna follows me. No, she's too classy to do like a... Do you think? I think so. Like she would have done a cent, surely, at some point. Maybe, yeah.

You know, was there a Madonna Barbie? Madonna meal. Some sort of Madonna meal. Well, Reddit says, does anyone know what Madonna favorite food is? What are their opinions? Top. Answer seems to be. Tacos.

Someone deleted their post. She mentioned sticky toffee pudding. several times as a favorite dessert. She went to England once, came back with an accent, and a love of sticky toffee bread. Well, she was with Guy Ritchie for a long time, so maybe she likes a Sunday roast, you know? Oh, okay.

Yeah, some prawn-flavored potato chips. Yeah, crisps. Rips, she calls them crisps. She calls them crisps. She likes a curry. Do you remember her English phase? No. She spoke with an English accent just out of nowhere.

Actually, I was about to ask, is she not British? And I think maybe it's because of seeing interviews. Yeah. Oh, she's not British. Oh, interesting. I can't wait to see what other accent she'll adopt her a time. I'd like to see French.

I think time's running out. Well, she'll be with Shakira for the next couple weeks rehearsing, so she'll probably come out with her Shakira accent. Oh, yeah. Okay. Speaking of movies, I went to my in-laws place. They live on Salt Spring Island, and their situation, They have a house at the top of a hill, and then lower down the hill, they have what used to be an artist studio that they've turned into a cabin.

So it's literally in the middle of nowhere. Oh, great. More artists getting evicted. But here's the thing that you don't get to do in the city that you can do at a place in the middle of the woods. It can be as loud as you want. You can yell your head off. Nobody's going to tell you not to. And it is fun.

That's what you did? You were yelling? Yeah. We're yelling. You're like a big fight? We didn't even need the fight to motivate. We were just yelling. So you were just in the guest house?

Yeah, in the cabin and just like screaming. It was the best. When's the last time you yelled really loud? I don't know. Do you want to let it out? I'll turn your mic down. I can't remember. Were you just yelling, ah?

Yeah. Or like yelling, I want to. I wanted saying words and stuff like Just you and Sally? Yeah, Sally did the Tarzan call a few times. That was fun. What's that? I thought it was a blub or something.

Did, and they couldn't hear you at the main house? Nope, nope. Aren't you worried about getting murdered now? I was thinking about it. But if I was a murderer, I wouldn't want to be rolling the bones on anybody being in a cabin somewhere that I have to hike off of the main road That's the perfect place to murder someone.

Oh, but there's a good chance there's nobody going to be there. Cabin in the woods. No, no, no murder possible. I mean, it's a popular setting for a murder, but I feel like any murderer worth their salt would, they'd be going for numbers. They're not going for, like, unless they followed you to the cabin. Yeah, they're not necessarily going for numbers. I mean, it's a marathon.

They're not going for numbers in one night. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Most serial killers, you know, they're very. They parse it out. Yeah. I think they're going for whatever is the cleanest kill. And that would be a clean kill. Well, here's the thing.

If I go camping, like woods in a tent, I'm afraid of being eaten by an animal. I feel like that's a completely irrational fear. I was always afraid of staying in a cabin and being murder. I don't feel that way. I'm not worried about it anymore. Too high a hill to climb. Yeah, that is true. If you do, if you're in a tent and you hear like anything stepping through the woods, is it a guy?

Is it a bear? Tent? You got no coverage. Yeah. bad. You all never find out. I'm committing Sapuku.

And you all made fun of me for bringing my sword. But, yeah, cabin, you hear steps outside? Lock it. Lock the door.

Get away. But anyways, yelling as loud as you can is so much fun. And it's, you can't, you cannot do it in the same. How long did this go on with Sally

over it in five minutes? And you were yelling on the Well, I did. I kept it going. most of the evening, but yeah, we did it for a solid five and then throughout the night, I'd just say something and then I let it go as long as I wanted. But it's, uh, if you're ever out in the woods and there's no way else around, yell at the top

of your voice, it's so much fun. I'm big into, I'll yell into a pillow. Yeah, yeah, I do that as well. But that's because I'm in the city. That's because you're in the city. You can't just yell, you know? Otherwise, people are going to, it's going to race concern. It's something to call the cops.

That's true, yeah. In this neighborhood and every neighborhood, there's, much construction. Yeah. And like some, I, as I see a building being built or a house being built, I kind of anticipate like, okay, this, this time is, you know, the next few weeks are going to be loud because they're digging out the ground. Yeah. And then for a while, it's not so loud.

Right now, house down the street, they are, I guess, building the roof. It is nail gun. Nailgun City. And I think one guy is like, I got to use all these nail guns by the end of the day. He's over nailing. And the thing about, like some guys go, thup, thup, thup, this guy's, whupe, waw, waw, wow, wow. It seems because I've got three that are being built around my building. And they've all been through the hammering protocol.

But a lot of people, sounds like they're just aiming in the dark. Yeah. Like you say, just going for numbers. I got to use all these nails otherwise. They've got a nail quota. Yeah. Otherwise, it's going to seem like I haven't been nailing much. But, like, at every stage, there's a different annoying sound.

Yeah. So one of the places is now having, like, like, gutters and stuff cut for it. Oh, that sound is awful. Yeah. Just like a... That noise all of cut gatters, yeah. I lived by a Skytrain station, and they were doing that with the, like, they were changing the rails, I guess. Oh, yeah.

And so then they're cutting the steel, and it was so... And they were doing it in the middle of the night. Awful. Oh, my God. In the middle of the night. I know, I know. I guess they can get away with it because it's city? I guess.

You can't play city hall. I won't. But once the house, like it was the house, once the doors and windows are on, they're mostly doing inside stuff. Yeah. I don't know what they're up. I hear a lot of yelling. You can do that in a new house. Nobody's going to stop you.

So well insulated. Did you also, last time we talked about, you were going to go to a teaky bar? Yeah, I went to a teaky bar in Vancouver. called The Shameful Tiki. Have you ever been? Yes, I have. Isn't it so much fun? On Main Street? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I've been, yeah. There's one in Toronto, too. There is, yeah. And Victoria. There's one in Victoria, too? Hell yeah. Oh, maybe you, if you get... Going to tour?

Beaver-sized, you can do it. You're on Tiki meal. I would love to do a tour that was only Tiki bars, or only kind of, like, themed bars like that. Yeah, that'd be fun. And it's fun because you can order giant drinks. you get two or four, or I think six is the maximum. And, whoa, every time that you order a two-person drink, everybody at the bar yells and there's a little music that plays.

And so that's fun. And then when somebody orders the six, the volcano one, they come out, put fire, fire blows off all over the place. So is two, four, six, the number of drinks you're allowed to have? No, of people drinking it. Oh. So they're not going to give you a four drinker to a couple. Okay. Yeah.

Because otherwise. Woo. That must have been hard. Dragged out of there. That must have been hard during COVID. Yes. The six person drinks. They're like, uh, you drink it through a mask.

It's fine. It's like, yeah, we, we've just opened up the bars. We've started with Tiki. Did you get two person drinks? Got two person drinks. They came, they had like a little fire on the side. What did you get? Something rum-y?

Uh, it was rum-based for sure. It's all rum-based. They got some tequila stuff in there as well, but it's, yeah, it was good. drank several of them and just, you know, we're like, we're not doing anything the next day. Let's have as many two-person drinks as we want. Safe drive home. But speaking of watching a movie, I rewatched and Sally watched for the first time a movie that I've rediscovered as being one of the funest movies ever, Face Off. Oh.

You've seen Face Off? I don't think I've even heard of it. Okay. Oh, boy, oh boy. Yeah, I also haven't heard of it. You've heard of face off. Never heard of it. Dave's lying.

But I've never seen it. It's John Travolta and Nicholas Cage, and they swap faces. And I, that kind of thing drives me crazy. Like, I can't. Whenever that happens in a movie. When it was a face? Well, whenever, like, oh, he's actually him. Oh, I see what you're saying.

Like, Freaky Friday. Yeah. Yeah. Anytime I'm like. I have to keep track of whose brain is in there. It's very hard for me. Yeah. Well, the good thing about this movie is the character Nicholas Cage is playing is like a cartoon.

So he, John Travolta doing him is very obvious that it's him because he's like, he's saying things and he's doing silly dances and you're like, well, that is the Nicholas Cage character. Who are they? So John Travolta is a cop. Uh-huh. Whose son died and he was shot, this is the very first scene. He was shot by. Nicholas Gage. Okay.

But they didn't, he was, it's like the plot to Place Beyond the Pines as well. Yes. But more face swapping. Yes. Yes.

I mean, Blaze Beyond Pines could have had some face swapping. Yeah, yeah. That's what it was missing. The face beyond the Pines. So there's,

okay, so this movie is, oh, that's very good. Leave me alone. So they, Nicholas Gage is, actually, I think it's really good.

I don't want to spoil it for anybody who's never seen it. You can spoil it. It's been 30 years. I know it's on me. I'm not going to watch it. So, okay. So Nicholas Cage sets what's going to be like a toxin bomb that he's like placed in a giant church. So he's already killed John Travolta's son.

Yeah. And now he is how much time has passed since that and now the toxin bomb? I think it's like 10 years later. and John Travolta is like dog-and-ly... And what does he do for a living? Nick Cade. He's an anarchist. He gets into all sorts.

He's got like a lot of money, probably from drugs. Who makes the face-swapping machine? Okay. Hold your question still at the end. John Travolta is a cop. He's been after Nicholas Cage for years. Nicholas Cage sets up this bomb. Why?

Because he's a criminal and John Travolta is a cop. And he killed his son. And he killed his son. And so Nicholas Cage plants this bomb, and then they can't get out of him where the bomb is, but it's going to kill 100,000 people or something like that. It's going to blow their faces off. And then I have to put him back on. That's a whole thing.

So they make the decision. This is the most logical decision that they can make. This is the only way they can think of doing it. They will take John Travolta's face off. They'll put Nicholas Cage's face on him. And then he'll go to jail to talk to his brother, who, will tell him where the bomb is because he thinks that it's Nicholas Cage. Does Nicholas Cage consent to this?

No, don't take my face off. No, he's there and he's left without a face until he like makes them put John Trullo's his face on because it's the only face of him. And who's in charge of the face off machine? Is it the police? It's the police some sort of scientists that they've, it's secret. It's a secret thing that they shouldn't be doing. Maybe the police are funded well enough if they have a face off machine. So, and that's the thing too.

There's all sorts of little explainers of how they match everything up. Yeah. Then there's like a voice modulator so that they sound like the person that they're trade-faced with. Trading faces. And I got a million of them. He really does. And then this is the best twist in the movie is. So Nicholas Cage is John Travolta's cop character.

And he immediately finds the bomb and says, look, I found the bomb. I'm the best cop in the city. And then he becomes like a hero. And nobody knows that it's not because John Travolta, the character is rotting in prison. I am so confused. Yeah. But wait, are their bodies the same?

Their faces are just different? Yeah, their bodies are the same. Okay. Do you think you could keep tell their bodies apart? Yeah. In a line? All right. Let me just look.

They're both really odd. Yeah. And the one thing... In different ways. In different ways. Yeah. Different genres of weird. But it's...

This movie, I cannot say enough, is the most fun fucking movie. Like, and that's just the first twist. There's twist after twist after twist. I, yeah, like, I'm very confused already. I know I would be confused if I watched it. The, when in the Mission Impossible movies, when they pull off a mask and they're like, I was him the whole time. Then when my brain has to be like, wait, what the fuck was he doing?

Why was he him? And now I got to like replay that in my mind. It's does me edin. But yeah, it's a lot of fun. And like I say, they make Nicholas Cage's character so kooky that he can't not be. You know who the character is. Right, right. What does he say?

I'm, hey, I'm got mad. He's like that. He says, he says to, he like, I don't want to spoil anything else. Like if somebody wants to watch it, there's a lot of kooky twist in turns that involve. John's Revolta playing Nicholas Cage's character. Do you think that that domesticated chimp watched the movie and it inspired him to rip his owner's face off? Yes, I do. And I'm glad you asked that question.

I do think that. The monkey just wanted to solve crimes. Yeah. I just want to find where the bomb is. I just wanted to find where my owner put the bananas. But yeah, check it out, face off. Is it a John Wu? It's a John Wu.

It's one of his, he did one with John Claude Vent. Damn, he did. I don't know what else he did. I know those two movies, but over the top, over the top crazy movies. But yeah, you know, if you're interested in either their work, it's the best. It's the tops, you know. Was he still going as Coppola at that point? No.

No, this is, this is outside of, yeah, this is not Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Okay, I just watched that movie. Yeah, and he's Copeland. Yeah, he's Copeland. No lines, Coppola. Yeah. Just hanging in the back. That was his nickname.

No lines Coppola. I think he did a few lines. I might have. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard? Yeah, let's. Hi, my name is Brea Grant and I host Reading Glasses and Reading Smut. And I'm here with Max Fun member of the month, Nick Roy. Thank you so much.

What episode would you recommend to a new listener who's just jumping in for the first time? Oh, definitely the one where it's like, let's talk about reading lessons. Because as someone who started listening, what, seven? years in. I even I was like, oh, that's why we say that. Oh, my God. Mallory's going to love that you said that because she really was like, we got to tell people more about ourselves. I'm like, we just talk about ourselves every week. What would you say to other people who are considering supporting maximum fun shows? I would say if you want to keep listening to content that you enjoy and you want to support the creators, oh no, I just won't get a Starbucks once a week and I give you guys 10 bucks a month.

Sounds good to me. I love that. And listen to Nick. Nick's a librarian. He knows what he's talking about. Support the shows you love, including this one. Check the show notes for a link or go to maximum fun.org slash join. Hi there. Sorry to interrupt your podcast listening time. I know you're doing the dishes right now. That's okay. I don't worry about it.

You might not know me, but I'm Brenda, and I'm here to tell you about the podcast I host with my good friend Austin. It's called Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries and we cover all kinds of pop culture topics. Like, did you know that there was a real-life replica of the Simpsons House in Las Vegas, Nevada? Or that Flint, Michigan was once home to an. indoor amusement park themed around the automobile. If those things sound interesting, you should definitely check us out every Tuesday on maximum fun or wherever you get podcasts.

Goodbye. You can get back to your dishes now. Overheard. Overherds, where if you out there hear something, we feel that it's only right that you not keep it to yourself and that you share it with the world through our podcast. And we always like to start with the guest, Nikki, do you have an overheard? I do. Okay.

So, FIFA. We know it. We love it. We love it. I love Madonna and Shakira. And they did such a great... I hope they kiss like she did to Brittany and... Yes.

The other one. Christina. Oh, my God. I didn't even think of that. And then the camera goes over to Justin Dipper like... Yeah. Or who is Shakira married to? I can't keep up.

All right. FIFA, yes. So obviously everyone's drinking and there's a lot of day drinking. that's happening. I've decided this year that I'm doing a year sober. So I feel very alert to everything that's happening around me in a way that I don't necessarily always appreciate. But it's meant that I'm seeing a lot of couples fighting in the daytime. And the other day, I was on the sea bus and there was this girl. She was sitting down next to her boyfriend and her boyfriend is pressed up against her ear explaining something. Like he's clearly in trouble. Like the meme?

Yes, and she is just staring at the window as though he doesn't exist at all. Oh, no. And I can just hear him going, do you get what I mean? Do you get what I mean? Over and over and over again? And I just, I honestly, I'm also going through a breakup right now myself. So witnessing a fighting couple while they're very intoxicated and I'm sober and not in a long-term toxic relationship. Oh, I'm eating it up.

I'm loving it. I'm loving every second of it. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I'm reading. I'm doing a year sober, but I'm still having beer because that doesn't get me that drunk. And, yeah. And Dave, he'll go to the teaky bar once a week, but only once a week.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, it takes a, you know. When I say a year sober, I mean a year not, like, fall down drunk. You've seen the video of the, like, real hoser guy when they make the law that you can't drink and drive. Have you ever seen that interview? It's so funny. It's not the drink and drive one. Is it the guy with the missing tooth?

No, it's a real hoser guy. Really old video? Yeah, it's from the 80s. They, like, made it officially illegal. And he's like, I should be able to have, get off work, I should be able to have one, two beers in the car. It's three beers in the car.

I should be able to go home for, four beers. If I want to go out again, five beers. Like, he just keeps getting on, like, well, what's wrong with it, you know? Well, there's the one, the guy, uh, missing tooth, or like he had like a tooth, like a, he could take in and put it. I forget, he did something with his mouth.

And the government had, like, just come out with, like, guidelines of like you should not have more than two drinks a week. Two drinks a week? Like they're just asking them. I don't think the government should be telling me how many drinks to have. Well, they're not going to force you to. It's just like a health guideline. It's also like video.

Two drinks. That's not even enough to get one night. You can't like. There's also great videos if you dig people getting mad that the seatbelt law has come to. But then that guy, the guy who was outside the liquor. start complaining that he can only have two drinks a week, which no one's stopping you.

At the end, they just, they walk away and he goes, rock and roll! And then he, like, does a funny thing with his tooth. I love this guy. Yeah, you've seen him. I'm sure I have. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine's an overseen.

It's just a, this is a vanity license plate. Okay. I saw a few months ago now. It's just been sitting on my phone. and so I don't know what they had in mind, but the letters were J-R-K-S-O-N. Jerkson. Jerkson. J-R-K.

No, J-R-K. Jerkson. Jerkson. J-R-S-S. You know, I'm the son of a jerk. Or I'm someone's jerk-son. Yeah. Or leave me alone, I'm jerkson.

Their family owns a dynasty of jerk chicken restaurants. And he's the son of it. And he is the jerk son. Smart. The jerk's, I have my father's, of course. You know, that's my dad. The jerk. Papa.

Anyway, so check it out. It's a vanity plate. Would you get a vanity plate? In this scenario, is it the same price as a regular plate? Yeah. Yes, then I would. It's not that expensive. But it's more.

It's like 50 bucks extra a year. I want 50 bucks. To me, it's kind of like, like paying to get verified on Instagram. Doesn't have the same appeal as it used to. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I mean, unless you got a really cool one, you got, like, one that people, it's kind of

like, kind of fun, naughty. Yeah, yeah. That would be kind of fun naughty. Yeah. But not, you know, like kind of getting, trying to get away with a swear or something like that. Oh, yeah. Fuck, son.

You're like, S-H-T-H-B-N could be like shit happens, right? But you have to figure that. You have to be like what else could be? Yeah, yeah, yeah. My name is shy thappens. Do you have it overheard or see you? I do. My apartment looks out onto the alley.

Beautiful. So any kind of people chatting in the alley, I get an earful. And we've got a new garbage bin or recycling bin that's pink for, for like soft plastic But there was a couple of people Who I guess were either from out of town Or just hadn't seen one And they got so excited

They were like Oh wait A pink I mean blue sure You know They were just blue black With pink And when they went out

I don't know what they thought Was gonna be in their cotton candy Or teddy bears or what But it's just The let down Somebody just said It's just more garbage Yeah

That's true No we put fun treasure back there. That's where everybody puts their old friendship bracelets. And we just leave it there. It's take a bracelet, leave a bracelet. Yeah.

Well, I was excited when I first saw them. Yeah. Yeah, me too. And like, but I feel like they're going to get scuffed up a lot. They're going to look bad. Yeah. Left out in the sun. And then the rain?

Yeah. A little algae situation going on. Yeah. I wonder why they chose pink. Soft plastic and pink is like associated with girls. Yeah. That seems right. Yeah. What was the name of your podcast again?

That podcast doesn't exist anymore. I know. What was it called? Soft for us. Yeah. Yeah. How many episodes did you do? I have no idea. Maybe 50, 60? We mentioned this off air, but you were our first guest when we started our Instagram. So you were the first guest we took a picture of. And how's that helped you? Yeah. It has. True. Actually, yeah, it actually did. We, that first day of starting an Instagram? Oh, boy. Yeah, you guys seem different now.

Yeah, yeah. Well, we do. We've got a lot more swag and swagger. We had so many people follow us the first week. Then it slowed to a trickle. Right. They gave you that dopamine that keeps you hooked and then take it away. Yes, thank you.

That's why I'm suing meta. Back in Twitter days, you had quite a few tweets that went viral. I guess. Like, how many do you think the most? Well, I was on Twitter before you along went crazy. Yeah, that's true. I only had, like, I wasn't, I was in the low five figures of followers. But, like, you would have tweets that would go nuts.

I guess. I don't remember, Matt. And it changed your life. Look, that was the old of me. Who's the new you? I'm, like, a lot more grounded now. Okay. Because I stayed up late and your parents.

Yeah, I saw like a no TV all weekend. all weekend What, it was two beers For the whole weekend Rack and roll You gotta find that guy I ruled It's simply outside of the commercial

Drive liquor store, right? No, it was in Ontario Oh Yeah, but that commercial Drive liquor store It's got some characters Woo! Yeah, yeah

If you're writing a screenplay and you need an idea for a character Look no further Yeah, yeah I got to go to the liquor store after this. What do you need? Probably a gluten-free beer is what I'm looking for. Oh, cool.

Have they perfected that recipe yet? Yeah. Depends on the brand. Yeah. What did you buy today? I bought six bush light, six bud light, and I love them, tall boys. Tall boys? How much would you drink a day?

Well, what day? Regular day, I don't know. Maybe a couple beers. Depends. Weekends, maybe, you know, five beer. Two drinks a week. What do you think of that? Well, that's just not feasible, not in this country.

Well, come on, man. Two drinks a week, what's that going to do for you? I mean, that doesn't even get you through a day. A reasonable amount, if you're, I mean, if you're at home, you'd be able to have, like, four beer. You can. That's just two more. I mean, I'll have six. But four is a fair number.

But there shouldn't even be guidelines anyway. Why are you going to tell me how much I can drink at home? Well, I guess the idea is, would you be concerned that you'd be concerned that you're, you're at a higher health risk if you're drinking too. No. The main point here is why are they telling me what I can drink at home? Can I have two liters of pop? Can I have two liters of pop?

Well, what's more healthy? Four beers or two liters of Coca-Cola? Do the math. So I'm guessing that this information about the new guidelines isn't going to change your life. It's heartbreaking and I can't even believe it. Fucking roll! Black and roll! Wait a minute.

You can't handle the tooth. This guy rolls. Then he takes his two, though. It doesn't say a name anywhere, does it? St. Catherine's Man. St. Catherine's Man for Prime Minister. That guy tells it like it is. He's going to have his own Tim Orton's meal.

What if that guy lives to like 102? Probably will. Yeah, because he stays away from two liters of pop. Yeah. And like, it's as if the guy has suggested, well, you should be drinking two liters of pop. He's like, well, that's ridiculous. Well, I have six, but that's two more. It's only two more.

I'll have four. That's just two more. I'm six. But you can get by with four, and I have six every day. The government shouldn't be telling me to have two a week. I wonder what country he thinks can get by on two beers. Yeah, not in this country. Yeah.

Yeah, geez, I don't know. I'm trying to think of a country that. Like a Scandinavian one? Yeah. They would have less stressors. What does this guy do for a living? Yeah, I need to know. Maybe Jamaica.

In Jamaica, you know. you're on island time. That's true. And that sounds pretty relaxing. And you know what? If your dad makes a good jerk chicken, then a certain vanity plate you could get.

Now, we also have overheard sent into us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it into SVY at maximum fun.org. This first one comes from Steve K. This is more in the like sweet. Is it former NHL or Steve Conowalchuk?

It is. How did you know that? Good. We're not supposed to say. his name on air, though. Bleep that out. Stephen K. I was sitting on my porch at night, and a

dad and his kid rode down the road on electric scooters lit up like Christmas trees as they passed our house to the kid, maybe eight or night, said, Dad, this is the life. Aw. That's nice, right? Yeah, that's cute. It's me biking home from the... It's bliss.

Yeah. It's bliss. Have you taken a lime scooter anywhere? Yeah. No. Do you think they don't go past 10th? Yeah, they don't go to my house, which has been a problem for me. They don't go past, like they don't go south of the 10th? Yeah.

Really? Apparently, according to my intel. But they're extending it. I saw a big sign that was like, scooter's coming here soon. Oh. Is it scary? Are you fearless? This was before my year of sobriety, so I was drunk when I was on it.

And I didn't feel very much fear. But now I do. I think I would wear a moment. Oh, that's the lesson. Be drunk. Yeah, be drunk. Be drunk as well as you. Do you year start in January?

No, it started in September. Oh, sweet. Yeah. How are you going to celebrate? By getting drunk. Hell yeah. You remember how good it is. You could have two beers and then maybe four beers and six beers.

Well, two years is on reason. In this country? As long as you don't do two liter of pop. No, no, that would be crazy. You do the math. You do the math. I like, I love when he is like, I'm really making a point. What's healthier?

Rock and roll. This next one comes from Julie from Washington. I was in a waiting room and I heard a couple of 20-somethings talking about past relationships. The girl was describing how her ex was terrible to her and she confronted him about it. She said, he was like, whatever. Anyways, I'm not coming home tonight because I'm going to go to a rave by myself. And the girl said, and raving was our thing. You know what I was raving without me?

You leave those pacifiers behind. Have you ever been to a rave? I have, I guess. Or she has. Yeah, I guess I went to one like somewhat recently. Sober? Yeah. Well, when I say I'm doing a year sober, I mean, I'm doing a year off of alcohol.

Right. Yeah. And you've ratcheted up the drugs. Yeah, I took a little shrooms. Sure. Yeah. It comes from the earth. There's a guy on our, like, since we started our Instagram, the algorithm can't figure out what we want.

And we do get a lot of posts about circumcision. Yep. And we get this guy who does sober raves. Oh, yeah. He's very, I guess he's very cringe. Yeah, hard to take a little bit. Yeah. Sober raves guy.

Yeah, he's Canadian. And I sometimes someone leads with, like, putting sober in front of something, it just, I don't know. It makes it lame. I actually think it's good. But I don't agree. Like, I think there's some things, like arm wrestling. You shouldn't be able to be sober. for that. That feels like something like the entryway into arm wrestling is that you're drawn.

Yes. I don't want to see a sober arm wrestling match. I don't want to be with people who are at that kind of event. Yeah. That's just me, man, you know, sometimes I want to go to an event. I want to have two beers. Yeah. And then, you know, two, four beers just two more. Yeah. I fucking love that guy. You can't handle the dude. This last one's from Dennis and Huxbury. Hello. I was waiting in line at the cash at Dollar Tree. Two women ahead of me were chatting with each other.

Woman one. What are those? Women two. Shoahorns. Woman one. Why do you have so many? Woman two. Well, for every room of the house.

One, one, what are you insane? It isn't a thing that you have generally. Maybe you have one for the closet. Yeah. That's crazy. I have one. I never use and I just stomp on into my slip on. shoes and stomp the backs.

But my dad always used a shoehorn. Yeah. Like a long one? No, a little one. Little guy? And that he put his shoes on in his room in his closet. But we have one by the back door. That's the IKEA one that hooks over the thing and I never use it.

And now I'm getting ads for a stylish wooden shoehorn because the IKEA one, it breaks. It's like they've pinpointed that the IKEA one is there. editor. Right.

I don't think I've ever owned a shoe horn. I don't think that, am I wrong to say that women's shoes are easier to get into? Yeah. I don't know. I know it. I don't have an easy time.

No. I'm struggling. Yeah. Maybe you need a shoehorn. I need a wooden shoehorn. It's for the back of your, like, so that your heel doesn't crush it when you put it in. But like,

I'm crushing it all the time. I'm going through a pair of vans a year. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. But like, for a dress shoe, you might use a shoe. Oh, yeah. But there's so little occasion to dress up.

That's true. And I'm doing a year of not dressing up fancy. I'm doing a year of... It's going fine. I'm doing a year of jury duty, so I kind of have to be dressed up for that. Well, in addition, overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos. Send a voice memo to SPY at Maximum Fund. Or, leave us a voicemail at 1.844-779-7631.

That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. SpyPod 1 would be a good vanity plate. That would be really good. Like, Ecto 1. That's probably taken.

Oh, could we be. I could get K-O-F-B-O-C-O. K of B-O-C-O. Hell yeah. Anybody that's, you can do it. Just send in a photo. Just send us a vanity place. And send us the receipt. We'll pay. We'll reimburse.

Yeah, if any, don't know, we won't. But if any of you are in prison and are making a license plate. Yeah, make a nice one for yourself. Yeah. On us. Hey, Dave Graham and guest. This is Patrick from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I've got a boring dream for you, actually starring you two. I was a guest on your podcast, and we were discussing Mask, the movie, the one from 85 with Eric Stoltz and Cher.

And I don't remember what we were talking about movie-wise, but for some reason, Dave and I were just laughing it up, like, just could not stop. And, Graham, you weren't really. You weren't laughing that much. And the podcast ends, and Graham pulls me aside and says, hey, do you have a problem with me or something? I kind of felt left out of the podcast. You and Dave were just, you know, you were just hitting it off.

And I just want to know if you had an issue with me. and in the dream I was devastated I was like what no I have no issues with you whatsoever I'm so sorry and then I woke up and I woke up feeling just as bad so Graham I apologize I have no issues with you

Dave and I were just we were just laughing it up Yeah we're on the right I don't know We're on the same way yeah yeah yeah That was my dream uh love you guys Doesn't sound boring to me at all It's got drama it's got action Mickey you got a problem with me What's going on?

I don't know I must say, yeah. Oh, shit. I shouldn't have asked. I sometimes get that vibe from a guest that they enjoy Graham more than me. But, you know, I never. I don't confront them about it. That's really sweet, that people are having dreams about being guests on your podcast.

Yeah. That's cute. But, like, we invite boring dreams. Yeah. Oh. Like, recently, my favorite was somebody had a dream they were explaining. to their friend the science behind Sinsidine toothpaste. Oh, my.

And last week I had a dream that I got, my girlfriend's dad was mad at me for doing, for designing a bad cover of a physics textbook. Oh, God. So this is what's rattling around in there. Next phone call. Hello, Dave, Graham, and probable guests. This is Jeremy from Brooklyn, calling in an over. heard. So I was leaving the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens and I heard this group of people coming in,

I'd say late 20s, early 30s, one of them talking very excitedly. And he said, yeah, we kept going to the highest rated food places and they kept being strip clubs. Off I go. It's true. I mean, strip clubs that have like, there's one in Montreal has a breakfast buffet to die for. And they always say the number five orange is like the best burger in the city. Really? That's what they say. But then when we went to the number five orange and I was going to get the burger because as you famously I'm not drinking and they said we stopped serving the burger a few hours ago.

Forever. So disappointing. Yeah, yeah, forever. But you know who is that the number five orange for a while? Ryan Reynolds. That's true. He played Deadpool and that was the strip club in it. Yep.

Oh, was it? Yeah, it played itself. Oh, interesting. Okay. Yeah, what was going to the strip club dead? Oberlake, was that? Well, again, I did take a little bit of shrooms, which honestly... Okay, okay, fair enough, all right.

If I take two shrooms a day, what's the problem? I mean, four, like, I take six, but four's fine. That's two more. But I don't recommend shrooms at the strip club. Oh, yeah. A horrifying experience. Really? Yeah, because you're so aware of what's going on and of everyone's faces and they're

distorting. You're too aware. Yeah, so I just had to sit in per of Rome most of the night. And just stare at the women the entire time. Oh, so you were. Yeah, that's why I was there, too. You're so aware of what the clients are doing. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. Clients, customers? Purbs. Purves. Yeah, perbs. Well, we love the human body here. And here's your final phone call.

Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Aves from Guelphoning with an overseas. I've taken the bus around town and caught over the corner of my eyes. I was on my patio of a student. as it was like somebody sitting wearing a garbage bag and it took me a second to realize that oh, this roommate giving him a haircut. And as I turned the corner, I saw the guy who was getting his haircut, pulled his hand out and just throw a bunch of hair in the guy's hair.

And it was pretty good. And then they kept getting the haircut, so I guess they got over it. Hair fight. Oh, God, imagine the hair that we get in your eyes. Yeah. Also, I'm picturing. It's got to be some sort of. greasy hair or something to hold it together that you could throw it

because otherwise it would be kind of like a scatter bomb. Yeah, yeah. No, I think it's, yeah, scatter bomb. Yeah. Ugh. I wonder if they were doing, um, if they were like giving each other haircuts, like taking turns. Oh, that'd be fun.

Because then, you know, you're, you're going to have to take a shower anyway. You cut someone else's hair. Yeah. You got to take a show. I wonder do hairdressers shower at the end of the day. Hmm. Probably. There's a lot of hair getting tiny little hairs everywhere.

Yeah. Yeah. My hairdresser the other day showed up with wet hair. Huh. Yeah. I think they just had it shampooed there? Champoed themselves? Oh, maybe.

Maybe. But for some reason, it bothered to me. Getting high on their own supply. Yeah, maybe. One of the great ongoing bits in all of jackass is that sometimes somebody will be sitting there in Johnny Knoxville will just shave a part of their head. Yeah. Oh, my God. You guys should start doing that.

Yeah. Oh, we did for a while, but it doesn't work in the audio format as well. Well, that brings us to the end of the episode, Nikki. Thank you so much for beer, I guess. Thank you for having me. Tell people where they can find all the things that you're doing. Yes. Okay, if you go on to my Instagram at niki.mordar, I will be posting all the shows that I'm doing.

I'm going to be going on tour in November, in Alberta, and then... In November, we ain't sober. Yeah, and I will be... Rinking. So catch me at your local legion. Yeah. Yes. Starting a fight. A hair fight, perhaps.

Yeah. And then, yeah, just doing shows all over Vancouver and Fringe and, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And remind me the name of the Fringe show is. Sanction me, Daddy. There you go. I said it with more confidence.

I said it with more confidence. It sounded better confidence. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've come around to it. I've come around. Yeah. Yeah. And thank you everybody out there for listening.

If you're tonight, you're listening, You want to have two beers. That's no big problem. You know what I mean? Four beers, it's just two more. I mean, I have six. You have six? That's fine.

Don't just drink a bottle of pop. No, that's better for you. What's more healthy? Come on. You can handle the tooth. Come on back next to your episode. Stop podcasting yourself. Maximum Fun.

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