Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 96 - Sara Bynoe

Episode Date: January 11, 2010

Sara Bynoe returns to talk about getting punched in the face, grinding, and Avatar.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode 96 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and joining me as always is a man who Cobra Commander used to consider a close personal friend until he defected, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, and I didn't even defect over to G.I. Joe, I defected... To Jem.

That's right, I joined the Misfits with Glenn Danzig, not the cartoon one. Anyway. Their songs were better. Yeah, I think so. And that voice you just heard there is a second time repeat guest on the program. Back from the UK, she is the curator of Teen Angst Poetry. Would you say curator? Is that right?

Yeah, sure. Yeah. She's a performer, a writer, and she's here again with us, Ms. Sarah Bino. Hello. Hello. Thank you for joining us.

Thank you for letting me back on because I begged. Yeah, you did. You said she was a second time repeat guest. Yeah. Only repeating once. Yeah. That's going to bother people. I should say second time repeat guest. Yeah. Only repeating once. Yeah, you won't... That's going to bother people.

People are... I should say second time repeat redundant. I should probably say all three. Redondo Beach. Should we get to know us? Sure. Okay. Get to know us.

So, Sarah, you were in the UK. You were in Britain. You were in London. I was in the London. The real one. I You were in London. I was in the London. The real one. I see Paris. I see France.

Wait. I see London. I see France. Were you in France? Yeah. Were you in France? I was. Really?

Twice. Wow. You brought back that hat. Yeah. That's actually from Bruges. I did a lot of traveling. I never traveled before. So I used this.

Well, I was in London doing a master's degree. And so I used this. In Cedar? No, in something completely applicable to the job world, creative and life writing. We're still trying to think of something funny to say about in Bruges. All right. Do you want me to wait? Something Colin Farrell.

Creative and life writing. What is that you may ask well creative writing i'm certainly yeah i'm down with what is life writing um would be non-fiction yeah non-fiction memoir um slightly more elevated journalism reporting basically in my um letter of intent i went i want to be the next david sedaris or dave eggers and they're like you're a canadian girl that's not gonna happen but we'll talk give us lots of money so are these the people who control who gets to be there they were like well we'll see where we can slot you in um you can be just above the adventures of alex mack but that was autobiographical right yeah yeah yeah whose life was it alex mack okay um so uh you it was like it was like a uh a sped up program it was like well all the that's

crazy in the uk because they do their undergrads in three years and did you join a quidditch team it was full before i got there so i didn't i just cheerleaded from the side i don't i like i don't get um their high school but i'm sure i don't get there with the a level a level yeah yeah basically they do everything that we do in first and second year university when they're 16, 17. They decide what they want to do when they're 15. So people are doctors over there when they're 22. So I would have been a commando then. That's what you would have decided?

Or a private investigator. Rock star for me. I would have been. So you went over there because you said you hadn't traveled before. Was that part of it? Yeah, really. Well, this is it. I applied to this master's program.

Nice. Yeah, thank you. Was it? So my best friend went over to do a master's in museum and gallery studies and was in Manchester. She went without you. Yeah, the bitch. Some best friend. Yeah, exactly. museum and gallery studies and was in manchester without you yeah the bitch some best she yeah exactly so she went over there and then found out about this program um in london at this really

great school that she was like damn it why didn't i know about this school blah then found this program and because of the life writing because i was writing lots of um sort of personal essays that were kind of funny right um and she's like you need to apply for this and i went i don't even have an undergrad i went to stupid theater school. I'm not a writer. I'll show you. I will apply. And then we can stop this conversation.

Wow. So you actually took action just to stop having a conversation? Yeah. I would have just said, well, let's not have this conversation anymore. No. That should have ended. She harassed me for years before to go back to school. And then months when she found this program, she's like deadline's in february you have to apply so do you have some weird tattoo

that somebody also talked you into where you're like fine i'll get the tattoo as long as we can stop having this conversation a little tweety bird on my stomach no. No, how did you know that? Anyway. So you're back. You enjoyed your time over there, I'm assuming. Yes? Yes. Yes. I was massively injured for half of it.

How so? Oh, wow. I had what they called a massive disc herniation. So I slipped my disc. Oh. Yeah. And then, you know, so you stick your hips to the left and then you stick your rib cage to the right. You shake it all about.

Put your hand on your hips. That was me. I couldn't walk for two months. Wow. So what? No idea. No idea. You just woke up one morning?

But this is the fantastic thing. No, it was sort of gradual. And then I had to get an MRI. And then when I got my MRI, the next day my leg was numb because I wasn't supposed to lay flat on my back for a while. That's lesson one of MRIs so it just sounded like everything that I tried to do got worse and worse and worse but the thing is that when you go to the UK and you're a student you have access to their health care and it is it's slow but once you're in it's amazing wow you can just go into a hospital and be like I need to see someone and they're like

half an hour later you are a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down and the doctors are all 20 yeah i don't know yeah they're all 22 sleep it off they're all listening to ipods while they're looking um yeah but that's not funny i don't need to talk about my sad pathetic injury all right let's move on next thing okay um so yes i did a lot of traveling and uh did you find that you enjoy traveling some people like they're like i don't want to no no i uh did not want i just got really drunk and blacked out a lot so you lost yourself no traveling was good when i went with other people except when i went to the big story like my big traveling story is last new year's when i went to edinburgh and got punched in the face oh your face my face one hour into 2009 that set the tone so now let's let had you up to that point ever been punched in the face before no dave have

you ever been punched in the face no not on not on purpose. Have you? Oh, multiple times, and I hate it. It's the worst. Really? Multiple times? What caused this? I think back when I was a youth, I was more interested in fighting than I am now. I can't picture that. No.

Wait, you went to Beaverbrook, right? Yeah, I went to Lord Beaverbrook High School. Oh, great. This is a cute cool growing up story. Are you from Calgary as well? Yeah, I'm from Calgary. Yeah. All right, let's hear it.

No, the last time I was punched in the face was in Vancouver. It was on the east side. That's all you need to know. Okay. Yeah. The tough and rumble east side of suburban Calgary. But yeah, last time I was... Rough and tumbleweed.

I got punched in the face on a bus here like four years ago. Because I got in a fight on the bus. But it wasn't my... Which bus? The number eight. Yeah. That's what I would have assumed. Actually, it was fairly close to around here. It was just over by the

laundromat. Don't tell people where I live. You don't live on the number eight bus. Sure, sure, I don't. There's only one laundromat on that route. Yeah, that's true. Were you defending a girl's honor? No. The bus had stopped and there was two guys in a fist fight and the bus was not going anywhere so me and another guy got in the fight to try and get the guy off and i got punched in the face but okay well that doesn't count yeah it does was he intending to punch you yes or did you just catch it oh okay yeah uh he turned around and punched me in the face but it didn't i didn't catch my nose or anything so it didn't

bleed it just caught me in the forehead thanks sarah Sarah. That was a great story about Graham getting punched in the face. I thought that was a good jumping off point to investigate everybody's level of punching in the face. We can all share our story of getting punched in the face. How did you end up getting punched in the face? You don't seem like somebody who would get punched in the face. I never thought that I was. And I thought that I'd made it this far in life. And I thought those days were well past me. But it was one hour into New Year's and we went to this

we'd done like the whole street party that you do when you're in Edinburgh and it's called Hogmanay. Of course. I think they call it busking there. They call it their own stupid made up thing. So we went to this rocker bar that we had been to a couple nights prior for Rocky Yoki and they gave

us these free entries and it was one pound drinks. What's Rocky Yoki? how's rocky yoki different than carry yoki you can only sing rock songs that's all they have in their book and you can't care yeah yeah and it's with a lot of um big guys with greasy hair oh nice yeah scottish guys i so uh we're in this rocker bar and it's really lame they have screamo playing upstairs, it's not good. So we go downstairs. We get one drink, go downstairs. They're playing stupid like Nickelback.

And we're like, meh, 2009. So all the guys- Neither of these are karaoke's. No, no, no. That was the first time we'd been there. And we're like, oh, this was okay. Whatever, one pound drinks. Sure.

That's, we can afford that. So all the guys had gone and smoked up. And then it was- Doobies. Doobies. Doobies. Okay. Let's just get the kids. So they were off to the side.

For our parents, that's marijuana cigarettes. Yeah. Left-handed cigarettes. That's right. So they were sort of off in a corner. And it was me, my friend Heather. And across from me was my friend Joel. And we're just, well, what are we going to do?

What should we blah, blah? This girl comes in between, standing in front of, between me and Joel. And I look at her and I'm like, oh, where'd this girl come from? Why is she sexy dancing with Joel? Because she was kind of undulating. Right. Oh, yeah. And then I go, what the, is this going to?

And then all of a sudden, knuckles to my face and blonde hair. I turn around. There's a kerfuffle in the corner. It turns out it was my friend Heather who just leaped over because you can take the girl out of Alberta, but you can't take Alberta out of the girl. Sure, that's right, yeah. She got put in a headlock.

It's true of many places. I just stood there laughing, being like, did I just get punched in the face? That's crazy. Because that was my reaction. I never wanted to punch her back. I never thought about fighting her. I was just like, who does that?

Yeah. Usually they give you a warning. They say something about something bloody chicklets. Yeah. Gonna get a wallop. And then they do the wind up thing with their fist. Yeah. The windmill.

Eat some spinach and their fist turns into a locomotive. So there's none of that. None of that. She got kicked out. My lip was bleeding oh she caught you in the mouth yep ouchy so well it was only i think i was bleeding because my teeth rubbed over my lip yeah whatever it wasn't very hard she was tiny but i was still your mouth is not designed to be punched although it can take a licking apparently yeah um well literally uh but yeah it's surprising

like i've never been punched in the face i imagine it's horrifying um but i found it kind of funny it's more you thought it was funny just because it was novel and you were drunk so you had that i think it was the shock like you you either going to cry or you're going to laugh and I chose to laugh. It's always surprising. It's never... Have you ever been punched in the face as a veteran? Not a veteran, but I have been punched

multiple times. Multiple times in the same incident? Or has it always been surprising? Because I imagine the second punch from the same person. No, just as shocking. You're like, I can't believe it's happening again. After the first time, you're like, I hope it never happens again.

And then if it happens twice, it's... Shame on me. Yeah, exactly. You're like, why didn't I learn to defend myself? That's the other thing, too. Immediately you feel like, why didn't I take karate? Get your nukes up.

Yeah, karate, voodoo, something that could have helped me in my quest to not be punched in the face. So you survived Edinburgh and a punching. An Edinburgh punching, as they call it there. Well, they were saying I was lucky because if we were in Glasgow,

they have a thing called a Glaswegian kiss, which is a headbutt. Right. I don't think I would have laughed if I got that. Yeah, I don't even like the term Glaswegian. Does Scotland ever wonder how they were taken over by the British if they just constantly beat each other up? And then were drunk? And then we're drunk. Because I imagine being drunk makes it easier to fight and to take a licking, as previously mentioned, by the licking statement.

Yeah. Well, it made it all right for you. You laughed it off. Yeah, it was fun. But you were blacked out half the time. Yeah, true. That's very true. Solid blur. You finished your course despite your slipped disc and punched face.

I did. I did. I was supposed to do the Edinburgh Fringe, but I pulled out because I couldn't walk. Oh. But lots of sad disappointments. But it was very fun nonetheless. And I did get to go up to the Fringe and check it out. And saw some fantastic shows.

Yeah? What was your favorite show at Edinburgh? It's really hard to say. There's a guy called Tim Key, and he's sort of a comic poet. And he does things like Animals I Could Fit Inside. Oh, nice. Zebra. Right, right, Tim?

I hope it's not alphabetical. He does very random, obscure, short little poems. And it's not really poetry, but it's kind of stand-up. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it was it was fantastic oh that's cool so uh and now you're back in canada and you're on the fence you're gonna stay here you're gonna go back to calgary you're gonna go back to london basically i'm on this podcast to um apply for a job if anyone uh is uh hiring, the economy is really bad. No, I don't know. I like London.

She can take a punch. I can take a punch. She can take a joke. I can drink beer with the guys. Yeah. Or drink Chardonnay with the ladies. That's right. Yeah, she's adaptable.

I got everything. I am full package. That's right. So I don't know. I'm a complete hobo right now. This was a whim. That's right. So I don't know. I'm a complete hobo right now. This was a win. Do you not have a home? Not really.

Really? What? So do you go on adventures? Do you solve crimes? Yeah. Like, what do you do? Yeah, pretty much I've been avoiding being in Calgary. Yeah.

It's a bad time of year in Calgary for a hobo. Very cold. Very cold. Yeah. Very boring And they're all sold out of cans of beans And top hats with the top part folded off Oh they've got plenty of top hats that are intact

Yeah no but you're going to have to punch that out yourself Why wouldn't a hobo wear Like a toque I think Canadian hobos must wear toques But How did the top hat with the lid Coming off become something that doesn't help them in the cold? Does it make them feel like a classy gent? How did eating a boot become an acceptable hobo convention?

It's eating a bout. You've got to learn to draw. I've got that weird accent. Off-putting. So you don't know what you're going to do. You don't know what the future is all about. Nope. Yeah, well, it's's awesome i highly do not recommend it oh really well i don't know it's only been a couple months you know but the novelty's worn off of uh oh so much time i really

you know just kind of would like a job but i mean i was i was doing shows here and i did a show in london i went back in december for my. So it's been, you know, exciting. It seems exciting online. So it's very impressive. Yeah, going to London for school online. I imagine your Facebook statuses are the envy of your... Facebook friends? Yeah.

Poke buddies? I don't know. Took the tube today. You're all jealous. The Facebookerati? Mind the gap, guys. Yeah. Do they do graduations differently over there?

Oh, yes. Oh, my goodness. The graduation. I mean, I never went to any of my, I went to college over here, so I didn't actually do an undergrad. Right. You went to a theater school, you mentioned. Yeah, yeah.

I went to whatever. Some kind of theater program, which I imagine the graduation for that is insane. No, you have to pretend you're a tree. You have to grow up out of the ground and grab your diploma. In mime. All in mime. So they wore all these funny hats

and you had to wear this robe and they had some dame do this long-winded speech. Dame Judi Dench. We all thought Judi Dench. Not Edna. But the very funny thing about it, because people came out and there's like this chair. So the people that get their PhDs, they have to kneel on this special chair that people wear white gloves when they present it and they come down. But before the whole ceremony took place, they had this brass band.

And they played some sort of traditional song. It was so British. Oh, at this and then they played freres jacquard oh for sure yeah and then at the end of the ceremony they played the theme song to monty python oh really yeah it was so weird well the theme song to monty python was originally a famous british like march oh so maybe that maybe wouldn't have made me laugh out loud right because it's like if a British person came over here and they were like they played this vitamin C song

at the graduation but it's actually the famous graduation song Auld Lang Syne but so you've graduated you've been all over the world. That's fantastic. So it's wherever the wind blows you. That's right.

That is right. That's pretty great. Up for the taking. Free falling. Tom Petty's town. Last dance with Mary Jane. Running down a dream. Dave, what's going on with you?

Well, we haven't recorded since the 23rd of December. So this is our first official podcast of 2010. Whoa! Feel the fever. Catch the fever. Yeah. Taste the rainbow. Burning you up, ready or not.

Well, how was my break? Yeah, well, no. How was everything? How you had Christmas here with the fam? Yeah, we had Christmas here. It was great. Was it? Yeah, it was so nice.

The weather outside was frightful. Yeah, I guess so. How was the fire? Delightful. No, it was just kind of cold. It wasn't frightful. No, it was okay? It was all right.

Did you get anything good for Christmas? My parents just give me money now. Yeah, it was okay. It was alright. Did you get anything good for Christmas? My parents just give me money now. Yeah, that's good. And I bought a winter's coat. Oh, a long winter's coat. It's coming in nicely. But on New Year's Eve, we,

Graham and I, both performed at a stand-up comedy show. Yeah. I heard. It was quite good. I heard good things. But it was a... What were you expecting? It was New Year's Eve. I expected...

My worry the whole night was that it was going to turn into what I will now call a bino fest, which I mean people getting punched in the face. What? Really? Well, that's what I thought was going to happen because I thought... Oh, dear. I was scared for a second.

Good thing I wasn't there. That was my goal for 2010. No face punches. And so far? So far, so good. No, I thought because we didn't really have any there was no security infrastructure. I thought that there was going to be maybe a brawl.

Or something getting wrecked it was uh i was hoping the crowd would be quieter they were very noisy it was like uh like the muppets like at the beginning of the muppet movie where they're all going crazy in the theater their arms are in the air at the end after every comedian you would come back on stage as host. And you would literally, it would be a minute of just letting people die down. Robble, robble, robble. But yeah, it was a pretty good show. Yeah, it was fun. It was a good, it was a nice laid back way to welcome in.

What did you do on New Year's? Did you have a laid back New Year's? I was in Calgary. I went to a roller derby party in the suburbs. What? A roller derby? Yeah. My best friend's on the roller derby in Calgary.

Oh. And was on the roller derby here. Oh. Go trophy wife. What's our- Terminal City Roller's our Terminal City Roller Girls? Do they travel to other cities

to roller derby? Or do they roller derber intertwine? Do they do intramural roller derble? Yes, they do! Robble, robble. No, I think in Vancouver, there's four teams, and they will play against each other internally, but then they take

the best players and then they go on the road. And they'll go to Calgary or they'll go to Victoria or Seattle or wherever they can afford to go. Yeah, when I was at Bumbershoot, the Seattle team, the Rain City butt girls. Slickers. Yeah, they had a dunk tank.

Oh, were they wearing their roller skates in the dunk tank? No, they were wearing not enough clothes for the kind of weather it was. But, you know, you've got to sell the sport. Like me with high lie. That's how baseball originally raised to prominence. Lots of wet t-shirt contests. Well, certainly a league of their own. Oh, yeah.

And so you had a good holiday. And the other thing I did over the holidays, I started a blog. Such a good blog. A Tumblr. Getting in on there at the very beginning. Yeah. It's good. It's just a it's called Kidcasting

and it's just pictures of characters in movies and what the child version of the character in the movie was. And now it is taking up my whole life. Yeah, but you needed something to divert your everyday rage. But it's just creating more rage. Really? Yeah, because I have to go and download the movie illegally. That's so much work.

I know. And then I don't even watch it. I just scan through it to find where the kid is in it. Right. And I gotta find a comparable picture of the adult version of the kid. So basically, this is an amplification of your Hulk-like rage problem.

Yep. You wouldn't like me. Full stop. But it's actually, in the week it's existed, it's gotten quite successful. That's great. And I got, did you read that email? That somebody wanted to interview you for a radio blog? No, I think it was to write an article. And then I went to their webpage

and it was atrocious. It was like a Geocity site. It looked like one, but it was an organization that had employees, but it was like, the first headline was like, Bigfoot has a weird

cock. That's not really what it was. But it was something... Equally... Yeah. But anybody out there that hasn't checked out, is it kidcasting.tumblr.com? Yes. It's great.

That's Tumblr without an E. Oh, yeah. No, don't go to Tumblr. Yeah, because that'll just give you a a ice rock polisher oh sorry wait is a tumblr it's like a mug for your beverage oh yeah but if a rock tumblr is sure yeah polishes rocks or um gems i guess gems or rocks did you ever know anybody who polished rocks my brother did my dad Sorry, my mother does. Really?

Yeah. By hand or with the rock polisher machine? Yeah. It's really the laziest of hobbies. My brother used to do that as well. Really? Yeah. Go to the national parks and get quartz.

Stupid stuff like that. It's a precursor to gold. When you say national park, are you speaking of Banff? Banff. Banff. We also used to go to glacier national park it's in montana oh okay just south americans am i right yeah yeah foreign policy oh man i hate when we get political um graham yeah how was your break it was all right it was

good it's good to see the family and uh, you know, it was cold in Calgary. I went to Calgary as well. It was freezing, freezing cold. Was there snow on the ground? Was it a white Christmas? Yeah, it was cold outside. Yeah. And I really couldn't stay.

So I came back to Vancouver. But, yeah, it was good. And then, yeah, my apartment that I'm living in is more and more taking on the dimension of like a Fawlty Towers-esque experience. But are you the guest? I'm a guest. Yeah, and everyone else involved is a amalgam of Basil Fawlty. amalgam of basil faulty and it's the whole everything that has broken as soon as it's fixed has been followed by another thing that's broken so just before the holidays the toilet broke and so then that was fixed and then only in time for the shower to break and then the shower the sink originally in the kitchen was broken then it was the toilet then it was the shower to break. And then the shower, the sink originally in the kitchen was broken.

Then it was the toilet. Then it was the shower. Then it was the bathroom sink. Then it was the door. Then it was, there was no heat. And so I've really moved into a Shelley Long money pit. Sure. It's, man, it's, have you ever lived in like a lemon of an apartment?

I had a really good place when I first moved here where the landlord was retired, this old German man who was lovely. And he was there every single day. And he was like, you got a picture you want me to hang? He would do everything for you. Really? Mm-hmm. So I stayed there for a couple of years.

That's gorgeous. That was good. Yeah. And then I moved into a really nice character house. And the lady lived there. But now you're a hobo. Now I'm a hobo, so I can't wait for that to happen. In my last house,

I think I'm too good of a tenant. Like I never, if something goes wrong, I never report it. Like Harvey Keitel, bad tenant. Right. You're a good tenant? Yeah. Why?

Because if something breaks I just live with it And I don't ask them to fix it Is that being a good tenant? Like your toilet? Would you just Toilet I would But I would probably try to fix it myself

Here's the thing I want to fix these things myself But being that it's in an old house I don't know where the water turn offs are. And I don't want to start a project, realize that I need some expensive part midway through project, and then have to call and the guy comes up and I've disassembled the entire. Right. And you have to quickly reassemble it. You don't get your damage deposit back.

Yeah. So I've really, I've really, I think I've fucked up. A little quarter-wise. I really picked a bad situation. Like, I went in tonight, and there was obviously the heat hadn't been on for many hours, because everything I touched was cold. It's like living in a picnic site. Or Calgary.

Covered in ants. Or Calgary. Covered in ants. I was just remembering with your weird German landlord I was remembering I once looked at a house that had this weird landlord. We didn't end up taking it

but it was in Victoria and I went to look at it with my roommate. It was two halves of a duplex and they were both for rent. So we could either have the side that had a bathtub that had a shower in it. Nice. Or the other side just had a stand-up shower,

but it had a little extra room because it was an exact duplicate of the other. So he said, I'm thinking of putting a second shower in and we're yes we were like oh yeah and then later we're like wait a minute how would that work we both can have showers at the same time yeah that's fine same time in the morning you know i don't need to shower around your schedule. Yeah, we could carry on our sports conversation while we're showering. We could even carry on sports while we're showering. As long as it's like a badminton.

So I assumed you said yes to this place and moved in. I'm did not. I, according to my record of places I've lived, I would have said, sign me up and put a shower in the kitchen to boot. And in these showers, can you detach the plumbing first? Yeah, it's weird not having a shower. Have you ever been in a situation where you had a week or even a day without a shower? Oh, like I didn a day without a shower? Oh, like I didn't go without a shower? No, or there just wasn't one available to you.

Maybe in your travels. Girls can go longer without showers. I performed at a festival in the UK in 2008 and I was really worried about that and I just brought baby wipes. Oh, that's smart. Baby wipes. I don't know.

They have this weird thing like my aunt's house in the UK that and i've just brought like baby wipes oh that's smart yeah baby wipes but they yeah they have this weird thing like my my aunt's house in the uk and i didn't realize that they actually had a shower room for like months i you know had visited them and they're like this is the shower i'm like i thought that was a closet but because all the bathtubs have these attachments that you like stick on to the you know like the fountain for the bath that turns into a little hose. Yeah, that's what I've got. But there was no curtain for it. So I'm like, do I stand? Do I sit? It was very awkward.

I had no idea. They're like, that's just our Rocky-Oki machine. What are you doing? That's really funny because I've been in that situation before where I'm like well i don't want to seem like an idiot for asking so i will just hold my urine until we go out for dinner

the reasonable thing to do like oh you want a toilet oh i grew up on a fancy side of the street. I can't be bothered with a cup. Yeah, bottles and jugs are too good for me. But yeah, I just, anyways, I hope that your hobo living is at least a notch above my paying to live like a hobo living. I should hope so. I have some very lovely friends. Oh, are you couch surfing? Sometimes, yes. And is that...

Yes. Do you feel... Sometimes? What are the other times? Well, sometimes I've been staying with my parents. Oh, okay. Sometimes with, you know, my best friend. Although I have a lovely arrangement here.

Is it the same best friend that left you for Manchester? Yeah, and the same one that's on the roller derby. We're okay now. Okay. Oh, nice. We're best friends forever. You never fought. I made that up.

The person here, who are you staying with? My friend, this is sweet. This is why I've been back to Vancouver a bunch of times. My friend basically has moved in with her boyfriend. Ah, that is sweet. But isn't using her apartment. But that's going to end the end of this month. Because is she then moving in with her boyfriend?

Because I took advantage of it probably way too much. And kind of, yeah. Oh, yeah. And she's like, ah. No, but it's been like six months that she has been living with her boyfriend and sort of like, this is stupid. Is that how, is that, now asking you as a woman. That's how she's trapped him?

Yes. That is how you trap them. You slowly just hang out more and more at their place? Yeah, and then you get pregnant. Did she? No. Okay. No.

Not that you know of. Yeah. That's true. Yeah, right? Maybe. Offer her some champagne or some cocaine and see what she says. Should we move on to some overheards? Oh, I thought you were going to say, should we move on to champagne and cocaine?

Yes. Yes, let's. Overheards, please. Overheard. Okay. Okay. Overheards. Things that if you're lucky and you've got your ears open, you may have overheard in your everyday life.

Keep your ear to the ground. It's not just kids that say the darndest things. No. Adults, old people, tweens. Pensioners, the blind folks that can't make it out. Beggars, choosers, finger waggers, thumb suckers. Tub thumpers. Is that all Rocky Oki is? It's just

Chumbawamba Both Chumbawamba songs What's the other one? Do you suffer from Long term memory loss I don't remember I feel like there was a third one Because I remember Chumbawamba

No, there was barely one There was tub thumping in that one There was definitely one Yeah He got knocked down He had a whiskey drink A cider drink Both kinds of drinks

He had two drinks It was a two drink minimum Mwamba And we like to start the overheard portion, if we can, with our guest. Okay. And your experiences. I know. Yeah, I know.

So I was trying to be like, oh, I should have. The whole year, I was like, I'm going to get an awesome overheard. No, mostly people are just really, really drunk in the UK. Yeah. I saw a lot of puking in public. And they use the C word as everything. So you can't use that. And then they also, these are over, I saw way too many puking in public. And they use the C word as everything. Yeah. So you can't use that.

And then they also, these are over, I saw way too many people barefoot in public. Really? On trains, on the bus, on the street. Are these fellow hobos? No, these are normal people that have jobs at banks. What? So like in a suit but no shoes? Sometimes.

Gross. Yeah. Knock it off, Britain. Well, I have one that's meh and way to sell it. And then I have another one that is like a true overheard that I did write down. Okay, why don't we bookend it? Yeah, we'll start with the meh. Go around.

Go to my slightly more than meh one. So this is actually today on West 4th. This is more of an overseen. Okay. You waited all year and it happened today. I know, yeah. Meh. It's like Christmas.

When you wait all year for it, then it happens that one day. It's over. So this is just more like a ridiculous marketing slogan, I guess they're trying to campaign. So on West 4th, there's a culinary tool store. And the sign says, New Year, New Plates. Who has that kind of money? The Greeks.

Sure. The end of the year. That was my stupid one today. One new plate a year. It should be New Year, New Plate. New cups. No one wants a matching set. You just get a new plate every year

and you're reminded of every time you break a plate, you forget that year. And an angel gets his wings. Now, as a hobo, do you just have the one plate that you fold and you just eat off of the same? Yeah, it's really rounded, so it's kind of

like a plate and a bowl. And I got that fork spoon. Oh, in our stockings. Yeah, you got to be adaptable. Yeah, exactly. In our stockings this year. You got to carry light. We got the fork spoon knife.

Oh, you should give that to Sarah. Sarah needs it more than you. I really need that. You've got a utensil drawer. It's true. You don't, do you? I got nothing. January 1st, we threw out all our old utensils.

New year, new utensils. We threw them at an old man, and then a baby brought us new utensils. If only I had a home, I could have such luxuries. Like an old man and a baby. Yeah. Two bits. Dave. Yeah.

Overheard, You style. This also happened New Year's Eve. Oh, yes. The night of the big show. The big show. As Ed Sullivan would say. Or as the wrestler is called. Yes.

Big show. Yeah. Was he in an Adam Sandler movie? He might have been. He's the guy who wears the same singlet as Andre the Giant. The over-the-shoulder, single-boulder holder. You need boulder holders.

Yeah. Oh, good lord. Yeah, so we... New Year's Eve, big show. And then the show ended before New Year's, before midnight. And so people hung around and we did a little countdown. And then the show ended before New Year's, before midnight. Yeah.

And so people hung around and we did a little countdown, drank some champy, some fancy champy. In the champagne room. No. And then at about 20 after, Abby and I were like, well, time to go to bed. So we started walking home. And outside the show, there was this drunk guy and a drunk girl and they were grinding up on each other and uh oh yeah i saw them and they were kind of like like whispering stuff and uh he said baby all cultures have a striptease. Now, this grinding up reminds me that last night when I was at Paul Anthony's Talent Time show, I was sitting down and there was a couple sitting down at the table in front

of me and the girl was kind of mass like kind of massaging the back of the her fella's neck and also kind of a hair like kind of you know back of the neck up into the hair region rub that lasted about I was there for about an hour and a half and it lasted that whole

time is that annoying having I don't know have you been annoyed the whole time I've been doing that I don't know. Have you been annoyed the whole time I've been doing that to you? I thought you liked it. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Isn't that why I'm here? I know. Probably it's annoying after that

long. I'd love a massage. Yeah? In a public place? No. A head massage is one of the best massages. But in a public place? Any massage. It's just your head. Yeah. You would, like if you were on a train or in a board meeting, you would be fine with it? No, I'm not down with PDAs.

That's disgusting. What about grinding? Have you ever seen, like obviously we've all seen grinding. Every time I look down on a wrestler. You saw grinding right before you got punched in the face. Have you participated? in the face. Have you participated? I've never. In a humorous

fashion. Yeah, of course. I generally do the part that the when you see the girls in the music video do the grinding. I do that one. Right, you go back up on that. I do the butt first thing. I just do the ironic grinding. When I black out that right

when the guy has to hold you up and grind when i was in grade eight uh a guy i went to a grind it up on you yeah sure i went to a birthday party uh and it was grade eight it was kind of in that time where you're like okay boy girl parties dancing boners a plenty boners a plenty this guy in the bottle oh yeah i remember i bought him a copy of lives throwing copper album on sale at sam the record man you could feel it coming back again yeah uh and he it was literally three hours of just him grinding with his girlfriend. And maybe it was grade nine and she was in grade eight. Yeah, that's normally what happens.

Jailbait. And his mother was there. Whoa. The whole time. And no one else was dancing. It was three hours of just these two grinding. And everyone else kind of like should we be grinding?

Were they grinding to live's album? No, he didn't unwrap it yet. That would be gauche. Have you noticed in the last week or so Soundgarden is considering getting back together as is whole. When is Audioslave going to get back together

but isn't that weird now the music the 90s music is getting back together like the 80s bands were getting back together so many years ago meanwhile Billy Corgan's dating Jessica Simpson it's the whole world's gone topso turbo so okay you know like you know if you bring a bottle

of wine to the party they should serve it or yeah yeah if you bring a cd they should grind to it yeah they should definitely grind to the whole thing from lightning crashes to the other one. My Overheard comes courtesy of the film Avatar, which I went and saw in theaters now. Did you see it in regular digital 3D or IMAX? Regular digital 3D.

Okay. Did you see it in IMAX? No. I'm not going to the suburbs. See some roller derby IMAX? Whip it'm not going to the suburbs. See some roller derby IMAX. Whip it? Is it Whip It? I went and saw it in Calgary and this overheard courtesy of my brother Dan, past guest

Daniel Clark, was waiting in line to buy tickets and the kid behind him just kept going on and on about how great the Elvin and the Chipmunk squeak will just said it's gonna be so much it's gonna be really funny and i saw this one part in the ad and finally his dad broke down and said look we're going to see avatar i thought that you would just eventually break down

and accept that but we're going to see so the kid was just like the squeak will oh i heard so many great things yeah so uh i just oh i laughed so hard how old was the kid oh like a like a squeak will age kid okay so it was appropriate yeah he was uh yeah it wasn't an adult kid yeah it's like well i know but like a 12 year old so you're probably too old for squeakquels. How come other movies haven't managed... Well, no, just to use the sequel... No one's ever made a pun?

Yeah. Have they? NyQuil? For the Dark Knight sequel? What was that Russian vampire movie? Didn't all the naked guns do something stupid yeah they did two and a half and then 33 and a third which is way too many yeah all right um and you haven't seen avatar yet nope but are you but i don't think i've even seen the trailer i've just seen blue people and then a couple giant posters with a half face and then a half blue face.

Yeah. That hasn't grabbed me yet. So you're going to have to sell it. I'm not going to sell it. You didn't like it? I thought that kid would have been very happy with it because it's not for grownups. But also it's not exactly for kids. It's for tweens.

Yeah. I enjoyed it.ana and that yeah i guess i it felt like it was three and a half hours but it was two um two and a bit it was long but i i enjoyed i i thought i liked the story i like the 3d i like the 3d i i did not like the story the story was you know it was exactly what I thought it would be. How were the effects? Was it worth it? I liked that their hair plugs into animals.

What? Their hair plugs into animals? Yeah, see, now you're kind of interested. So, are you not... Were you high? Is it a movie that you should see high? I don't do that. I don't do that, but i will if the movie calls for it no it's uh you're you hair plugs into animals okay when you're an avatar the people are known

as avatars no they're not they're a culture called avatar and they speak the language of tar and it's in a weird font that's in 3d. It's cool because the font jumps up at you. Yeah. And their hair. The font is papyrus. Sure. Papyrus. You get one haircut for your life.

And that's the one you're stuck with. Oh, no. Because your hair is in a giant ponytail. And it plugs into things. And this is the crux of the movie? The inside part of like your hair looks normal but then you peel it open and it's got squigglies squigglies and then animals also have squigglies and then you put your hair and you connect or trees as well you can

squiggle into a tree what purpose does this serve is this how they they don't just sleep they just need to plug their hair in? I don't understand. No, you... Everything's connected, and that's your way to plug into the natural network that is the avatar. Okay. Do you think that Mad Magazine's parody

would be called Avatard? I feel like that might be over the line for Mad Magazine. Oh, really? Okay, what do you think it'll be? Because you know they gotta do it. Oh, Squeakquel. Sarah, you had a secondary overheard? I do.

This is from the UK in Brick Lane area of Shoreditch where all the hipsters live. And I was at a friend's house. I thought they lived in EastEnders. It's actually not too far. Not too far.

And so there had been some party in a park nearby and these people had just... It's like one of those places where five people live and so all these people came and crashed the party. Oh, you lot.

And this girl was going on about... Someone asked, oh, how was the festival? She's like, oh, it was really good. You know, we did all these pills and I got really messed up and I don't really remember what happened then. He's like, oh, yeah, yeah. She's like, yeah, we're just taking everything we wanted to.

Oh, yeah, were you celebrating something? Yeah, I finished school last week. Oh, what are you taking? Medicine. I thought that was pretty classic. Took pills. I don't know what they were. No, no, took anything and everything.

Well, is that the type of people that see you when you're in the hospital? From my two weeks when I went to England a couple years ago, that seemed to be the youth. It was all pills and ringtones. And the bathroom is called a bog. Oh, really? Yeah. Is that right?

Bog paper. No, they just called it the toilet. Not even the loo? The water closet. Yeah, no, the loo is what poor people call it. What? Are you hanging out with Posh Spice? I was. Not even the loo? The water closet? Yeah, no, the loo is what poor people call it. What? Are you hanging out with Posh Spice? I was.

I used the toilet. I'll tell you what I want. Pardon me, I have to zig-a-zig. I'm just kidding. She never sang in that song. That's true. She posed. She was posed in that song. That's true. She posed. She was posed spice.

Here's some overheards from listeners that they have written in. This is another one from a New Year's Eve from Alicia from Spokane. Sorry, it's spelled different. It's spelled A-L-Y-S-H-E-A, which is unacceptable. Oh, really? Alicia. Alicia. Yeah.. Oh, really? Alicia. Alicia. Yeah. No, right?

It's probably Alicia. On New Year's Eve, I was standing downtown near a group of people dressed in medieval clothing. So what year were they celebrating rolling in? Everybody else is doing 2010.

They're doing... 18? No, probably earlier. 16? Possibly 14. Sure. I wasn't really paying any attention to them until I heard the woman next to me say,

yeah, for Easter, we had demon bunny tournaments. That bunny got so dot, dot, dot, and then my boyfriend turned around to ask me what I was smiling about, so I didn't get the rest. I have never wanted to hear the rest of a sentence so badly in my life. Me too.

Demon bunny. Is that from Monty Python? Yeah. That's immediately what I thought was the bunny that jumped out. The Holy Grail. Yeah. And that was in Spokane, Washington. Home of the medieval New Year's Eve.

Champagne in Spokane. In Coeur d'Alene. Is that inpoken? Okay. This is from... This is somebody... I'm not sure if this is their real name. But it's...

Well, we don't say the whole name. But he's a guy who's a third of something. Oh. Something junior. The third. Yeah. Esquire. Wouldn't that be great?

The third Esquire? Are you going to say his first name at least? It's George R the third my lady who is also her own person more so in fact than I am I oh well interesting and I recently went to

the movie theater we did not watch a 3D film however as we were exiting the multiplex we passed a couple of guys probably in their early 20s they were standing just outside a different theater's open doors. The boy that spoke was holding a pair of modern-day 3D glasses to his face. The overheard, I wish my whole life was in 3D. Agreed.

I wish. Those, do you know, you know those glasses are recycled. You're invited to, after the feature, you're invited to throw the glasses into a pile and they will recycle them. I assume that that means that they. Dishwasher? If that. I assume it means they just pull them out and put them in plastic bags and then hand them out again. Someone licks them clean.

I don't even think, I really think you're just wearing somebody else's glasses. Maybe they do the bowling alley thing where they spray them down. With a disinfectant. Sure. This is from Ben O. from Western Massachusetts. The day before Christmas,

I was out with my five-year-old daughter picking up some last-minute gifts for my family. While browsing in a large chain bookstore, I asked her what we should get for her grandfather. After a moment's thought, she replied, I know. Let's get him that magazine about Christmas trees. I couldn't contain my laughter when I looked on the magazine rack and saw what she was pointing at. It was the Christmas issue of High Times. Which had a cover featuring a huge mound of marijuana

decked with bows. And Rob Zombie. I can't believe High Times is really still going for it. What else are they going to do? Yeah. Are they going to fold and turn into Crystal Meth Times?

What else is popular has anybody here ever read high times no sir nope no but i did see the calendar one year and thought about giving it as a joke gift yeah i've i've i've um i think i've leafed through it quote unquote hey oh pun intended i think i Pun achieved. As opposed to quote unquote. All right. This is a good one from Kurt D. This is my friend's overheard from a while ago. Not mine, but I'll submit it on his behalf as he doesn't listen to the podcast.

What? That's not a friend. Time to get a... Yeah. Not a friend. Ditch him. Hey, does your best friend listen to the podcast? Yes She will now That's what a lie sounds like

Both of us are students at UBC And in one of his computer science classes One guy's phone goes off While the prof is calling with The ringtone saying What? Sorry? While the prof is talking? Yeah one guy's phone goes off While the prof is talking? Yeah.

One guy's phone goes off while the prof is talking, I think. And the ringtone says, A hot girl is calling. A hot girl is calling. He answers the phone and says, Not now, Mom. I'm in class. Why would you put that as your ringtone?

Also, why would you answer it in class? Yeah. Sounds like your friend's a real jerk. Doesn't listen to the podcast, leaves his ringtone on in class, thinks his mom is hot. I don't know if I like... Pre-structure out. Yeah, exactly. Okay, okay.

We'll do one more? Yeah, sure. If you have it in you. Oh, I got it. It's in you to give. Okay, this one more. Yeah, sure. If you have it in you. Oh, I got it. It's in you to give. Okay, this one's a long form one. This is from Stefana. I don't know if I...

This is from a local. This is at the Hennessy. Last Sunday at the Hennessy. I assume she's probably at the Sunday service. Yeah, it's a fun show. Great show. Check it out if you're in Vancouver on a Sunday and looking for something funny to do.

Hennessy. Sunday service. I was at the Hennessy. Sunday service. I was at the Hennessy. I was waiting for the washroom. It's a really small washroom. I can testify. So only myself and another girl could fit inside. There were other girls lined up waiting outside saying things like,

Oh, I'm so drunk right now. Oh, yeah? I'm going to get another drink. Yeah. Anyways, nothing seems out of the ordinary until I noticed that there were two pairs of feet in one of the stalls. I overheard this. Number one. Oh, number two.

This is so funny. Number one. My God. Number two. Oh, God. You know what I did? Number one. What?

Number two. I just shaved off way too much. Number one. You did? Number two. Yeah, look. A short but definite pause. Number one, you did? Number two, yeah, look. A short but definite pause. Number one, whoa, yeah, I know. Number one, holy shit, I know.

I'm like, I'm scared to look at my own vagina. Number one, ah. And on and on it goes until you have like a Hitler stash going on right there. And they stumble out embarrassed. And that's why women take so long in the bathroom. Oh, right. Because it's like the peanut butter solution. It just grows and grows.

Graham. Judy Blume. Judy Blume? Graham. Is that Judy Blume? Is that? What are we talking about? Sorry.

The peanut butter solution. Is that what are we talking about sorry the peanut butter solution is that what judy bloom no damn it never mind i don't think it is when you were saying peanut butter i thought of something um more horrible um if we ever have a long one like that feel free to tell me oh to be one of the parts oh so i'm sorry I'm sorry. Act it out. I should have done that. Because number one and number two in the bathroom is kind of confusing. Because it's the way we go to the bathroom.

It's urine and feces. More? Should we end on that one? Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. We have called in ones.

I know we have called in ones. Of course we do. Now, if you want to write to us, you can write to us at stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. And if you want to call in, which we always love, it's 206-339-8328. Hey, guys. This is Scott from Aurora, Colorado again. The other day, me and my friends, we were out drinking. We ended up at a bar that was not a theme bar or anything like that, but the bartender was dressed like a

pirate. And when he gave me my change, he gave me gold dollars. But when we were leaving, there was a girl outside who was very drunk, and she was on the phone, and she was really upset about something, and she was crying, and when we walked past, all I heard was, I don't care, I just want someone to tell me where my car went. So that was pretty good. I think that was the inspiration for a movie by a similar name. Right. Dude, Where My Car Went.

Dude, I'm So Dr. Where my car went. Are you a driver, Sarah? Yeah. Have you ever lost your car? I drive standard. That's driving. Everything else is steering. Okay, that's fine. I just need to get where I'm going. It's not competitive.

That's how I roll. Why are you like that? Why am I so intense about it? That's all I roll. Why are you like that? Why am I so intense about it? Yeah. That's all I got. I guess. It's my little pleasure in life. Have you ever slept in your car as a hobo?

No, but I almost dated a guy that slept in his car. I was so excited to do that, to have the story. You almost dated a guy who slept in his car, or you dated a guy who almost lived in his car? Okay. Yeah. Why? Why? Why did he live in his car or you dated a guy who almost lived in his car? Okay. Yeah. Why? Why? Why did he live in his car?

Wait, was he Jewel? Because she lived in her car? Right, yeah. Why did you want to date a guy who lived in his car? For the story. Oh, and the smells. Am I right? No, this is the surprising thing about him is that he...

Smelled like a pioneer freshener? No, no, no. He was very, very neat and very tidy. And he worked at a fancy restaurant my friend worked at. What? And he would always get his clothes pressed at the laundry before he went to work. Well, yeah, because he lives in a car. Yeah. He was very fit because he always went to the gym so he could use the free showers.

It was slightly an ethical thing, but slightly... So what was the ethics behind it? Well, you know, you don't have the footprint. Is that the word I'm looking for? Also, he was just really saving up his money to buy a farm and be a hippie. That's really sad. These are the people that I'm interested in. Was this somebody out here in Vancouver?

Yeah, because that's the only province in Canada that you could live in a car and not die. Very true. It's also the only place where hippies live. No, that's not true. No, Victoria. Oh, province-wise. Do you think there's probably a lot of hippies

hanging out in Quebec with their smoking? They come to BC, though, to fruit pick in the summers. The idea of romanticizing a farm is something a hippie would do. A farmer never does that.

A farmer takes a wife. Is that what the farmer does? I know the cheese stands alone. And cheese never fantasizes about being a hippie so it becomes full circle another overheard hey guys this is uh Dave from Indiana um this is kind of a stretch for an overheard but I'm gonna count it as such because I feel my friend kind of said it to himself when he said it even though he was speaking to me. But anyway, I was talking with an old friend

on the phone and we were going to hang out and we hadn't talked for a while and he was real excited to see me and vice versa. But anyway, after we just kind of, you know, after some pleasantries he just said he said, hey

wait, have you heard of Silverback Gorilla? And I was like, what? And he's like, have you heard of Silverback Gorilla? And I was like, like the great ape? And then he said no, man. And he just kind of trailed off. And I was like, what?

And he goes, Silverback Gorilla? And I was like, yeah. so that's a great ape and he just goes no dude weed i don't know anyway great show guys so i guess that's a kind of weed i guess so i when i the the suspense was killing me i immediately thought it was a music artist i thought that it would turn out that his friend Was trying to say the word grape What? Well no because he kept saying silverback gorilla

And then he would go great ape Or I thought he was saying great eight It got very confusing for me Like he was going to say Orange you glad I didn't say grape I just thought about the movie Congo Oh right Wasn't that about

some crazy gorilla yeah amy amy pretty you've not seen it that's what happens yeah it's the 80s 90s early 90s yeah it's a criton yeah yeah congo's getting back together as well from the sound garden and hole finally yeah congo's gonna go on tour. Amy Pritchett. Was Sharon Stone in that? Or was she in Saphir? Sharon Stone. Her robot

avatar. Sharon Stone. One more overheard? Yep. Hey, Graham and Dave, this is Christy calling

from Vancouver with an overheard from New Year's. A bunch of friends and myself rented a house in Ticino for a couple days and a friend of a friend brought his own friends who ended up being quite dumb, I should say. But one night after, yes, quite a few drinks, we were playing a game quite like Cranium. One of the

questions, I guess, was that you had to roll the dice and a sentence would pop up or the beginning of a sentence. This one happened to be I like. And the person who rolled the dice had to finish, sorry, person who finished or rolled the dice

had to have everybody else on her team and the other team finish the sentence. And somebody on the other team would read the sentences, and that person had to pick what was the funniest and what was the most true sentence. So, for example, somebody put, I like hot tubbing. Another person put, I like walking on the beach. Now, the friend of a friend was reading these all to us,

and the next one she read she read as i like bananas journey and actic that was followed up by dead silence and a friend of mine saying can you read that one one more time i like bananas journey and actic again this is followed up by silence for about five seconds and then the friend who brought her replied with, I even put the lightning bolt in between the AC and DC. Anyways, I hope you like that, and hope you both have a great New Year's. Take care. Bye.

So this poor woman's whole life mispronouncing. Hactic. Hactic. We were a little distracted throughout that whole story. Yeah. Because Dave made a face and I couldn't stop laughing at it. No, there was some fluff on your sock. Yeah, there was fluff on Sarah Bino's sock.

What? Yeah, check out your socks. What? That one. Oh my god! What the hell is that? Where did that come from? It's an enormous fluff thing.

Yeah, it's like a dust bunny. It's like hair and twigs and felt. Are you felting in here? Yeah, we're felting. Someone making a hat. What is felting? It's a craft. Is it really?

Yeah, you make art out of it, and then you publish children's books. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this i don't know it was on your sock yeah you're to blame oh no where have i been how do we know you're not blackout again you were grinding against the wall for a while i just i stood up and took my sweater off i'm like what did i do when she said they were playing a game that was like cranium you uh celebrate it i love cranium i've never played it is it the one you buy at starbucks it is you used to buy i don't think you can i don't think it's there anymore i would buy it i i got a starbucks it's very fun it's very my um when i

was in theater school we used to play it every boxing day what is it i know it's like it has it has no part of it is yeah it's got clay. There's like four categories. There is creative cat, there is star performer, there's word something or other, and then there's like factoid or something. Data head, data head. And that's the one for all the nerds, and it's stupid facts.

Not only true or false. And the rest is about expression. Yeah, star performers like charades or humdingers or they do there's uh creative cloud is sort of it's like um win loser draw or sculpt raids yeah and then um the the yellow one the word worm is basically like spell things backwards and oh it's very fun and i'm very competitive i I play it I do like board games, I wish I played more board games they're coming back that's what I've heard

people are poor so they have to stay inside and play in their cars travel scrabble that's my crowd, that's what we've been doing can I read this one last overheard because it's Christmas fine Can I read this one last overheard? Because it's Christmas oriented.

This is, oh, are you all right? Yeah, I'm good. This is from Kat W. of Fayetteville, Arkansas. Kat Von W? Yeah. This is, they went to go see Avatar. I should have read this earlier. I didn't realize I had it.

Edit it, Move it back. Yeah, exactly. One of the pre-movie commercials was a Walmart commercial where a young girl is making a Christmas wish. When her mother asks her what she wished for, the girl says, something for daddy. The scene then cuts to a soldier in the desert who looks up at the sky and smiles as snow begins to fall. This is when the girl next to us chimes, Walmart can't make it snow. Pretty good. I wanted to make,

because that would be too past. Maybe Home Depot, but not Walmart. Certainly Target. So... You had something you wanted to do. I did, because we... Should we play the theme?

Yeah, just say what it is. Oh, hilarious pranks. What? If you fart in your mother's mixing bowl or you steal your girlfriend's birth control, it's hilarious pranks. Hilarious pranks. But basically... We haven't done this segment in, oh, eight months. Forever'sville.

Actually, since I think episode 55 was what was pointed out to me. But who's counting? You's counting. Huh? I wasn't counting. Somebody else was. Somebody else who sent in one and then it jogged my memory of recently we do get a lot of people who write in and say hey uh i just started listening to the early episodes of your show i don't know if you guys are still doing overheards

but yeah we do get a lot and this basically this person wrote in a thing her name's Rosalie G the third and she says you probably because I was trying back in the day I was trying to get a friend of mine to quit smoking

by every time that she went out for a cigarette playing a prank on her yeah so for new listeners, this segment is about pranks. Yeah, hilarious pranks. Nothing mean-spirited. No, no, yeah, absolutely. Nothing mean-spirited.

The cleverer, the betterer. And this prank was ongoing pranks on my coworker, Erica Sigurdsson, because she was smoking at the time, and I felt if I could psychologically set it up that every time she went for a smoke, she was worried about a prank, that she would quit smoking. And she still is not smoking.

She quit, and I would like to think in some small, tiny way, I was a part of that adventure. I think 100% you are responsible for her health. So anyways, Rosalie opens this by saying, you probably no longer even work at the same place. How horrible. What a horrible guess. You've probably been fired. Or your friend has already quit smoking. Correct!

But in any case, here's an office prank that I've done. Obtain many, many paper cups. Hundreds. And a large pitcher. Fill every open area on your friend's desk and floor with cups, filling them with water from the pitcher as you go. That way, when they come to work,

they will have to carry the cups out two at a time and dump the water in the sink before they can get down to business. Nobody gets hurt. Maybe a computer gets ruined by dumped water. Yeah. But that's okay. That's weird. But I would just drink it.

Yeah, you would just down it? Well, yeah, because you're wasting water and cups. Oh, touche. It's very wasteful. Good call. Fair enough. Really damper on that one. Oh, sorry. Oh, fun. Fun prank.

You know, our Earth Mother Gaia is crying right now. And I wish I could stick my weird hair spores into an animal's butt. Into a mushroom. But you can always reuse those cups. Yeah, I suppose.

That's true. Reduce, reuse. Or craft with them. And the thing is, too, is at work, there's been an emergence of my other co-worker, Paul. It really emerged as the guy who loves doing pranks. Sometimes nonsense. Sometimes when you were there, he tried to talk you into coming

into the dressing room with him, I think. I know there was something about... Did he check out his Hitler mustache? There was a lot of when someone left their computer going onto that person's computer and emailing the whole office as that person. Yeah. Weing the whole office as that person.

Yeah. So we've been doing a lot of that. But recently – You guys are a real cutting crew. But Erica lost – Erica of the Quit Smoking Erica lost her coffee mug. And so then sent out an email to the entire building for some reason asking if anybody had seen her

coffee mug. So then Paul took that as his opportunity to send out a secret mail to everybody in the building except Erica saying, send a message to Erica saying that you've seen her cup somewhere in the building. So then she was inundated by every other person in the building

saying, I think I saw it here. I think I saw it there. And she didn't clue in, or seemingly she didn't clue in. Did she investigate every lead? She investigated quite a few of them and then came back into the office very crestfallen and said, well, I found out where my cup is. I found the pieces. Somebody broke it and threw it in the garbage. And then Paul was like, oh, it feels so terrible because the whole thing I was sending you,

that was a prank. And she was like, I knew it. I smoked you out by saying I broke the cup. So it was a great turnabout. Real reverse prankery. Yeah, that was a double sneak. What's good for the goose is good for the prankster. But this was a good one that we got from somebody named Brandy in Baltimore.

With a Y or an I? That's with a Y. I imagine it to be an I. Yeah, but I think Y is a little classier. For the name Brandy. It's traditional. classier. It's traditional. It's traditional. This is, I had a friend in high school whose mother collected creepy

stuffed dolls. Are there any other kinds? Well, they weren't meant to be creepy. They were those child-sized realistic dolls that were popular at small-town craft shows. Those are meant to be creepy. Yeah, they are the creepiest. The porcelain ones? Yeah yeah like i think kind of the uh you know oops i had a die die or you know whatever crazy title they put you know what i mean what is die die i mean diarrhea um uh i assumed it was diaper related well it could be. The husband, as Brandy calls her, always liked to play around with the dolls in funny ways. For example, placing them in places that would make the wife jump, such as tucked into the bed or standing over the toilet. That would be terrifying.

If you went in the middle of the night to the bathroom and you turned on the light and there was a... In the medicine cabinet or... There was a doll like fishing in the toilet. Because its eyes lit up. The funniest was that one day he rigged up some fishing wire to one of the doll's arms. The doll

was normally placed next to the TV so at a time when the wife was watching TV hubby would pull the other end of the string so that the doll would wave. So that's not really a prank that's that's a that's it's not really a prank but it's a fun way of turning a creepy thing into a creepier thing i feel like anyone who owns those dolls likes them way too much like no one is ambivalent about them anyone who owns them loves them yeah i agree with that. This is my daughter, Porcelain.

Look at her snowy white skin. It will never age. Yeah, so those were those hilarious pranks. I just wanted to share, mostly because I wanted to tell the one about Erica. Double sneaking. Totally, right? Totes. But where do we go from here? I think we can wrap it up.

Sarah, you have many... Is that okay with you? I guess so. I'll be okay. You gotta take your bindle back out on the road. But it's so warm in here. And you have plumbing. The more likely it is to let me sleep here.

Yeah, you got to catch the 210 to Yuma or whatever time the Yuma train leaves. It's 310. Oh, is it 310? I was going to say 420. I was going to say 420. It's about hobos. But they still got trains, right? That's how you get around, right?

Train hopping? Yeah, absolutely. It's the only way to go. Now, you're a hopping? Yeah, absolutely. It's the only way to go. Now, you're a multi- faceted online presence. I was. Not anymore? Sure, why not?

How many facets? Well, I started on Twitter, but I hate it. Oh, really? I don't get it. You're the opposite of Dingsham. Graham and I are. You're funny. You do jokes. I haven't quite figured out what my niche is. Oh, for everyone, it's jokes. Yeah.

Don't ever try doing anything but jokes. Also, passing along awesome links. I appreciate that. Yeah, I sometimes do. I like awesome links. I can't. That's why I was so big fan of The Legend of Zelda. So, Sarah, if people want to find you online,

if they want to access more about Sarah Bino, where would be the best place to go? Sarahbino.com. Okay. You say that as though it doesn't exist. No, it does. It totally exists. Yeah, that would be the best place to find us.

And do you have any upcoming shows, anything you would like to promote? Any couches you would like to crash on? I wish I did. I'm working on a novel that I started at school. What? Is it about a boy who goes to a wizard school? What? How did you know?

It's about a girl that goes to a wizard school. Oh, you. Sounds great. Yeah. No, I moved on from Teen Angst to Quarter Life Crisis. So that's the theme, I think, of the novel if I was to pitch it. Right on.

I feel if I wrote a Quarter Life Crisis novel, people would think I would live to 120. Yeah. I'm going to. i plan on it i'm gonna use the secret and manifest that in my hobo life and live to be 100 no no 100 that's quarter you know quarter i've already had my midlife crisis at 20 prepping for my untimely death you're gonna leave a beautiful cart uh dave do you have anything upcoming? Let's see here. Promotion-wise? Here's a thing.

Last April, I went to the Halifax Comedy Festival. Oh, yeah. And Tuesdays at 9.30, after the new Kids in the Hall, they're going to be showing the Halifax Comedy Festival from last year on CBC. You don't know what night. I don't know what night I'm on, and they generally edit them down to seconds per performer. However, if you're in Canada, and you have a brain,

you will inevitably be watching the new Kids in the Hall series. At least episode one. Yeah, well, I'm gonna watch it. It doesn't matter. If it's the worst thing I've ever seen, I will still watch the entire series because it's Kids in the Hall. I owe them that much. I mean, really. I watched Jimmy Fallon for four months.

Yeah, right? So, you know, anybody in Canada who's watching the Kids in the Hall thing, and I assume anybody who's listening to this podcast who lives in Canada will be, stick around and watch Dave Shumka perform something. They have streaming TV now, don't they? I'm sure. They had it in the UK. It was fantastic. Yeah, well... You don't even need to have a home with a television.

You can watch television online. That's true. So what I'm saying is they have no excuse to watch his show. I'm just trying to support. Yeah, I know. We really turned on you. For no reason, actually.

A lot of comedians I know who've been on that show have been like they cut out my punchline. Yeah, I had a thing where I did a whole 10-minute chunk. It's very avant-garde. It's what they're doing now. And they put in 30 seconds, 40 seconds of it.

I could have done less time. I could have worked less hard. So please do check that out. If you want to kind of find us online, stoppodcastingyourself.com. Oh, Graham, do you have anything to pump? I certainly do not. Aerosmith's Pump?

Yeah, I'm doing a cover of that album live at the Biltmore tomorrow night, so you would have already missed it. Oh, too bad. Darn it. You can find us online at stoppodcastingyourself.com. Check out the recaps there that Dave puts together. Check out our forums if you

want to hear about uh irish people and their podcasts yeah totally they've uh they've taken over our our forum like a bunch of pirates taking over our caribbean and uh if you want to write to us at star podcasting yourself at gmail.com and if you want to call us it's 206-339-8328 which is 206-339-TEET and you uh if you enjoyed the show tell your friends and uh help us make this thing grow and come back next week for another fascinating episode of stop podcasting yourself yourself.