Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 965 - Dave Harris

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

Comedian Dave Harris joins us to talk boxer shorts, 2001: A Space Odyssey, and The Night of the Hunter. Follow us: Instagram, Facebook, Bluesky. Join our Discord. Become a MaxFun member to get all our bonus content.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host, Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! And welcome to episode number 965 for Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark. And with me, as always, is the man who's just polishing off the last tomatoes he's grown for the season, Mr. Dave Shumka. There might be a few more on the vine.

But, you know, you got to savor everyone. Yeah, that's how I feel at this time of the year. You just pop in your mouth like a little bobo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tomato Boba, Maranara, boba. And then pretty soon, you're going to have to give thanks. Yeah, we're going to have to, oh, the pumpkins are coming up now. Yeah, pumpkins.

There's a crazy batch, fatch of winter melons in the neighbor across the street from a... Uh-huh. I know. I don't know what a winter melon is, but Sally asked the owner of the house what they were, because they looked like pumpkins. Uh-huh. But they're winter melons. Winter melons. That's what I call my, uh, okay.

The stripper when she's out in the colds. Yeah, I'm picturing one of those like bikinis that's made out of like Santa style. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The red with the winter mill. With the with the white fir trim, yeah. Yeah, that's what's going to be there. Wow.

Homo, hubba, hubba. Our guest today, first time guest here on the podcast, he has a YouTube show. he'll tell you all about it. And he, as well as I, he just yesterday, as this comes out, and me later in the week, are going to be part of a show where we have a period cramp simulator, which I've been

training. I've been putting it on twice a day. What day are you on? I'm on the Thursday. I'm the Thursday this week. Okay. Well, that's Atlanta Brittany show. Listeners, go check it out. Yeah, go watch me double over in pain, right? Our guest is Dave Harris. Hello, Dave Harris.

Okay, yeah, I didn't know when I was supposed to start talking. This is it. This is it. This is it. Jump in. There it is. And we're going to lay back and it's your, the floor is yours. No, thank, no, thank you. Should we get to know us?

Yeah. Dave. Yes. Every time I see you, not to put you on the spot. Okay. But I think you always have a new tattoo every time I see you. Yeah, I have a problem. Yeah.

Yeah. How many. Is it diagnosed or is it? Yeah, tattooitis. Oh. no. That's not a real thing. No.

I mean, it would be. It would be like an inflammation, I think. Yeah. Yeah. If you, yeah, it's the tattooitis that you need to get tattoos or that it's you have too many tattoos or the tattoos are infected. It's a bit of both. Yeah. How many do you have?

Oh, boy. I don't even know. Because you've got, you don't have sleeves, but you've got lots on your arms. I would say like 25. 25? Okay. Yeah, maybe in that area. What's your favorite?

My favorite? Yeah. Oh, boy. You can keep your shirt on. I don't know. I was going to do it as if they're looking. Probably this one. It's my sister's printing in grade seven from a duetang in elementary school.

Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did you get? How did they just copied it by eye? How did they do it? No, they actually traced it right on. Nice. Yeah.

Oh, cool. Yeah. It's nice when you have a lot. a tattoo that's a thing. Yeah. Because I think there's also a tattoo of a sandwich. Is that way I'm looking at? Oh, whereabouts?

On the forearm. Maybe it's no, turn your arm over. Here? There, yeah. Oh, no, it's a micromachine van. Oh, okay. From here, it looks like a delicious, delicious. Do you remember micromachines?

Oh, yeah. They were a big hit. Did you collect? I did collect it when I was young, yeah. Could you talk fast like that guy? Oh, no, the commercial guy? Yeah. No way.

Through that guy. Yeah. Do you think that guy got, like, laid a lot because he could talk so fast and he was Like, can you imagine what that mouth can do? Yeah, that's a, that's a good tongue. Yeah. Well, also, he's like super handsome. He's super hot.

He was also the, he was like the, the, um, FedEx. He did FedEx commercial before that. Yeah. And then he did one. Was he Mr. Testa Verdi? He was Mr. Testa Verdi. He was saved by the bell. And he was.

Yes. And the kids were taking notes. He was talking so fast. The kids were taking notes so fast that their, uh, pages were smoking. Yeah. Oh, he was a handsome man though. Yeah. He, I remember him being on, not Barbara Walters, but what would be a step down from Barbara Walters, like an interview show?

And like the whole interview was just like gearing up to, can you say this thing fast? Well, yeah, they did, um, on Freedom, they talk about this news segment of his a lot where he just reads the words to bad by Michael Jackson. Oh, that's right. He was big in the 90s, doesn't he? Yeah. Yeah, he was one of our great. Who are the other like Michael Winslow?

No, I was thinking like TV pitchmen Would you stop anyone on the street And be like, hey, you're the guy from the He probably got stopped a lot And like say sing Jinglebells really fast Tell me the lyrics to bat

Yeah, recite the Constitution Yeah, and then kind of there was no big finish It would be he talked really fast And then that was He heard that before Too fast, no big finish Story of my life Now you

You grew up out here in New Westminster I did Did you Where'd you go to school? I went to Well, like high school Sure Yeah, why?

I went to Catholic school Oh yeah? That was called St. Thomas Moore Okay Yeah Good basketball team? Football That's right

Really good football All boys There's like no No high school football here Now, it's better now. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Because I remember, like, no schools in Vancouver had teams.

No, no. Maybe Vancouver College did. They were good. But no one else. Were you on the team? No. Were you not an athlete? No.

I mean, sort of, but this is a funny story. In grade, I played a lot of hockey when I was young. Okay. And in grade eight, I broke my back. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. And it had to be in a full body cast. No.

Yeah. Like, like, like a, like a, Like a fiberglass body cast. Wow. Like, you can't move. Yeah, it was messed up. Oh, I could kind of walk. It was from here.

I don't know why I'm saying that. From my upper chest level. Upper chest. Down to my knee on one side. And then it went around the bottom and then came up on the one leg was. Only one knee was. Only one down to one knee. I walked kind of.

So you were able to walk? I walk like the penguin. Nice. Or a penguin. Not the penguin. Not the painting. Yeah. Not the character.

What is the penguins deal? He looks kind of like a penguin, but he doesn't walk like one. I don't know if he does. That's a good question. He hangs out with penguins. He walks like a penguin. He waddled in the movie. And he had claw hands.

He did have sort of like a flipper hand. And he had a weird nose. He put that guy's nose. How did he get to be that? He was born. Because in that movie he was born freaky because his parents put him in a basket of floated him down the river. The circus found him.

Yeah, he grew up in the sewer. Yeah. The circus. It's a sweet deal. Yeah, that's every boy's dream. And he had like a collection of rubber ducks. Was that part of it? He had rubber ducks.

He had penguin friends that lived down there that had rockets on their backs. Yeah. I only saw that once. I don't know why, but I probably see it once a year. It's pretty good movie. It's pretty good. We watched it on Halloween at my friend's house for some reason. It's kind of a Halloween type move.

I guess so. Tim Burton. Yeah. Halloween guy. Is it, boy, I think of him as more of a nightmare before Christmas kind of guy. Yeah. That's Halloween, too, isn't it? It's Christmas, man.

Oh, I always watch that at Halloween. No, it's Christmas. Oh, well. What do you watch every Halloween? Do you have a... Are you a spooky man? Yes. Well, not fully, but a pet cemetery I used to love watching.

Nice. Yeah. I used to scare the piss out of me. Yeah. Yeah. When you first saw it, where is it a movie you were like, allowed to be seeing or did it? No,

no, I wasn't allowed to see it. I was, my brothers are older, so I was watching it. It scared me terribly. Yeah. Yeah.

When you would like, uh, was it anything that stirred in the dark that would freak you out or pets in general freaked you out. No, it was that, oh, am I allowed to swear?

Yeah, please. You are. I was going to say, oh, no, it was that, a frigging,

uh, the ghost that visits him is, I remember his name, his name was Victor Pascal. He gets hit by a truck and then his, Head is like brains are hanging out. Yeah. And this isn't pet cemetery?

Yeah, yeah. And he's sleeping in his bed and he opens his eyes and the guy's just standing at the end of his bed. Yeah. And that used to scare the piss out of me. That's still scary. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's still a weird premise.

Do you, um, do you still like horror movies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, do they freak you out? Like, do you get the like, ugh? Like you watch one? Not the horror, horror. The psychological one scare me. Have you seen Gerald's game?

No. What? Oh, that's so scary. But like, Is it psychological? Yeah. What do you mean? The one that messes with your head so you get like anxious thinking about like how weird it is.

Example. Did you ever see Jacob's Ladder? Yeah. That movie scared me. See, that's the same. It's because like she's going insane. Yeah, yeah. She's like attached to a bed and she's like having these visions.

Okay, that would scare me. She is? She is. Yeah. In Jacob? No, in Gerald's game. She's Gerald? She's Gerald.

And it's her game. Oh, right. name's Gerald. That's good. I think of Molly's game. Yeah, I think of Molly's game. That's a she. Yeah, but there's a famous scene.

It's a Stephen King book as well where there's somebody standing at the foot of the back. Oh, no, no, no. Because you always think, imagine if you opened your eyes and someone was just standing in your room and I do all. I have kids. It happens all the time. It freaks me out.

Do they come in? Like on a nut, like not do not talk of the room? They just appear in the room. talking at the door. You think I'm closing my door? I don't know. My parents did. That's why how you got so many younger brothers. Oh, I get it. I just got that. I knew you got it.

No, they like, it's not so much anymore, but it would be like, it was always me. They would only wake me up. Dad. Dad, I can't sleep. Well, I could. Until this very second. I threw up. Well, that's your own business. We'll take everyone in the morning.

Did you, how did you break your back? I feel like we glazed right over that. Oh, no. It was the first year of full contact, so all the kids were excited to body check. Oh, okay. And then I went into the boards. And you know those guys are like in grade eight,

but they already have a must. They already look like a NASCAR driver. Yeah, Isaac was the guy, Mike. Yeah, he hit me from behind. he was like six to. Yeah. And it broke my back. I didn't even know.

Did he make the NHL? No, he didn't. Is he in prison? He was a boob. I didn't know for like months though. My left leg started wasting. I had a pinch nerve. Oh.

So I couldn't. My leg was becoming like dead. Did he? Yeah. Wow. So it was like two inches smaller than my other leg and then I couldn't like stand on it like or walk like probably. Wow, wow.

After he ran into you, did he go thinner to your leg? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good movie, too. Yeah. And then they found out like four months later and was like, but you were able to walk around? I was,

but it was weird. I couldn't like lift my toes up or like my heel. Huh. Because of this. How did you do swear dancing in gym class? I was all that. Heel toe, heel toe, step together, step together.

I almost catched in because I couldn't, I never dance again. But you can dance now. Oh, it can dance. Oh, yeah, I'm back at it. Do you, when you played, because I played as a kid, but I stopped before body checking. Yeah, yeah. And now they have kids jersey.

Oh, the stop sign. A stop sign. Did yours have that? No, not yet. Yeah, were you hit from behind? I was hit from behind. So the stop sign is don't hit from behind or don't hit this kid. No.

Yeah. Certain kids get it. Yeah. No, before they would love to, like, if you went into the boards to get the puck and you're facing outwards, like backwards. Yeah. Kids would love, that would be their opportunity to take a run at you. That's, yeah.

Yeah. Like, my brothers played lacrosse and you were allowed to hack the neck, which was crazy. Yeah. I don't know if you can do that anymore. I wonder. I know there was like a real pushback on like people who are kids wearing neck protectors. What do you need neck protectors for? Yeah.

These people were hacking the neck with these sticks and whatnot. Well, they said that about like goalie masks back in the day. Yeah. Oh, are you a homosexual? Well, yeah, but... But I also don't want to puck in my face. Yeah. Did you see that guy that had the first mask on?

Jacques Plant. His face was... He looked like... Yeah, he looked like a Stephen King. Yeah, yeah. He had like... Oh, well, there's the famous picture of... The one guy that...

Terry Sotchuk. Yeah. Oh, that's who it is, yeah. Who had the scars all over... He looked like jigsaw. Yeah, he does look a bit like Jigsaw. Big saw. Yeah, that's crazy.

You love to see it. Yeah. Wow. I mean, you know what? Is it worth it? One or two scars, that's going to impress, you know, a potential lover, but I don't know, that many scars, too many scars. Yeah.

How did they, like, how did he go that long? And they're like, you know what? Maybe let's invent a mask. This guy's face has been completely destroyed. This is his mask, the one that had the, the Jason mask. That was Jerry Cheever's had stitches everywhere. He got hit by the puck. Oh, did he ever get a mask this guy, or did he just stuff it out?

Well, maybe by, like, the 70s. Jerry Cheever's, that sounds like an next-door neighbor. It does. I don't, yeah, it looks like he wore, like, this kind of thing. That's Jerry Cheever's there. Oh, his is cool as hell. Yeah. Oh, it's a lost art, the goalie mask.

The goalie mask. It's, uh, um, but it was, was it Jacques Quant that was the first to like, Wear one? Yeah. Okay. He was the first, he was the one that has the heritage

minute about him. And did everybody. And now it's been adopted for murder. That's true. Yeah. What about the Jason movies? Did you watch those?

Yeah. They didn't, I don't get scared by those kind of horror movies. They're kind of just silly. Yeah. Like the jump scares and the gore.

Have you seen anything recently that you're like, oh, this is this is perfect October film? Oh, what was scary? Oh, a couple of years ago. Did you ever see Barbarian? Yeah. That kind of was weird.

Oh, yeah. It scared me. When you leave the theater, you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, I watch that. I have to go see a movie. Like, if I see a horror movie, I have to see it in daylight hours. I can't go out into the dark. Yeah.

Yeah. Too scary. You don't know if the barbarian lady could come out from anywhere. Oh, yeah. That's the breastfeeding scene. And those hairy tits. Yeah, yeah, but what didn't you like? What scared you?

Yeah. Yeah, I get that. When I was a kid, if I watched a scary movie at home, double-checking the locks. Yeah. Closing all the curtains in the house. You know, it's non-horror movies scarred me that I watched too young at my brother's friend's sleepover. I got to go. I was like nine.

Robocop. Yeah. Oh, yeah. There's some fucked up stuff in Robocop. That movie's disturbing. Yeah. How old, how much older was your brother? Four years older than me.

Okay. Yeah. So he had all the teen stuff before you were. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Robocop. When he dies, that's terrible. What is it? Robocop?

Is it horrific? Oh, yeah. I haven't seen it. Oh, gosh. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, gosh. I'm scared for you, Dave.

Oh, yeah. Like six guys use him as target practice, but they're also, like, taunting him. It's like. Yeah, they blow him away. Oh, that's sad. Yeah. There's a scene where a guy drives into a toxic waste. Oh, yeah.

container and he mutates. He's melting. Yeah, it's really gross. So Robocop dies at the end of Robocop? No, no. This is always in the very beginning. This is how he became a little bit of it. Oh, sure.

Yeah. They blew him away. Yeah, badly. Yeah. And they're making fun of them while they do it, and you're just like, whoa. That's like my two least favorite things. Yeah. Don't make fun of it.

Yeah. Kill me all you want. But like, say I was brave. Yeah. Say how good my hair looks. But it's so, it's visceral. Like, whenever when they, he's like, he shoots his hand off

with a shotgun. Yeah. And then you see it like explode. And he's like, like this, like traumatized. And the guy goes, well, give the man a hand. I don't know. What? That's kind of a lucky shot too.

Like you had that line holstered? And he's like, if he blows his ear off, he's like, could he hear me now? Yeah. Smell this. How does that taste? He's working on all sorts of different one-liners. He's a witty murderer. Yeah.

But like, what is left of Murphy in Robocop? His lungs and his head? Murphy is the guy. They did a different, the new one that was just film like, Oh, okay. Murphy's the guy.

Yeah, Murphy's the human guy in Robocop. Yeah, Peter Weller, great actor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the old Robocop,

the one with Peter Weller, it was his arm was gone. Yeah. Most of his body was still there. Yeah, because in the updated one, he's just a head and lungs. Yeah. That was a weird

And they showed that too Yeah His armolist God Give him a hand Well we've got to rebuild His whole body now They should have called him

Roboarm Yeah Yeah he is And it's not the cops To put him back It's a corporation Yeah OCP

Yeah And he's Yeah O sane clown posse Yeah Yeah Yeah They

They build them And they They build Even more Aggressive Bigger Robb Oh, Ed 209.

Yeah. I don't know all this. Because you love the movie. It scarred me for life. It's in your, those delicious folds of your brain. Oh, yeah. Did you watch the sequels? I did.

There's one where he flies. That one was dog shit. They made that PG-13, too, so that it was. Yeah. But the second one was even crazier. I don't remember the second one. where he takes down a drug ring. Oh, sure.

And then the main bad guy, they remove his brain and put him into a big machine. Oh, shit. And it's just messed up. The main bad guy in the first one is, the dad from that seven years. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's great. He's great. Yeah. Do you have any other movies where you were, like, freaked out, and then you went back and watched it. Like, I went back and watched it as an adult that it didn't.

The, like, miniseries? Yeah, it was like, this isn't scared. But then I saw the movie. Scared again. I'm scared again of Peter. I have one movie that I never even watched the game because it scared the shit on me so bad. I had like an anxiety attack. What was it?

I don't know. It was called Event Horizon. Oh, yeah. It's about space? Yeah, it was weird. But scary? Like, disturbing scary. Yeah, it was a haunted space ship.

Yeah, it gets, uh, they, they do a warp drive. The warp door. It bends to go further in space, but it bends and they go to hell. Oh, wow. I know. Yeah, it's really... What are you guys doing up here? In the video game, Doom, is he in hell or is he in Mars?

No, they uncover a portal to hell on Mars. Okay. The dig site. Oh, this is Doom? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because that was zombies, monsters?

It was in Doom. No, it was like... Alien hell. Hellhounds, yeah. Hell demons. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You can use all those different guns.

Yeah. You got to use all that. codes, IDDQD. Yeah. Oh, that was a code. IDKFA. IDKFA. I remember that on the I had a aptiva.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. I had a IBM aptiva. I had, whoa, I don't know what we had. It was a computer of some kind. Yeah. I had, it wasn't a Dell. I had it, I think we had a Dell.

Dude, you're getting a Dell? Yeah. That guy went to jail. Did he? Yeah. Dude you're getting a Dell went to jail? For marijuana. Oh, okay.

Yeah. When it was still. As far as the spokespeople go, the word. The first one ever was the guy went to jail for marijuana. Well, there was a slapchop guy who was canceled. Yeah, and Jared. And Jared was also canceled. Oh, Jared Fogel.

Yeah. He was a naughty guy. Yeah, micromachine guy, yeah. Did 9-11. He squealed. He said too much. The slapchop guy was crazy, too. Yeah.

Vince Offer. That guy was nuts. He was the one of the years I was at Just for Laugh in Montreal. He was there. Oh, he was a comedian? Nope. Just hanging out. Oh.

He was a side show. He was selling slap chops? I mean, I'm sure he had them back in the room if you went back. Yeah, I wonder if he gives his partners back in the room. Yeah. I have something to remember me by. Grab one on your way. Yeah.

Yeah. Was it like Derek Jeter or Alex Rodriguez, the baseball players, they would like, they made the, the tabloids because they had like gift bags that they would give to their one night stands? Oh, yeah. I love that. I think that was Derek Jeter. Okay. Because he was never married. He was always single.

He did it right. Yeah. I do like the idea of like, all my guests get this. And there's a couple different ones. You know, no. Yeah. You're sort of an autumn. Yeah.

Thanks for the brain. That's what, you know, Krang said. Cran was sort of a Robo Cop character. Yeah, that's right. He put a little body on him. He went around with solved crimes. I mean, the crimes being the vigilante justice of the turtles. Yeah, and the turtles, yeah.

That was a big body, though. Yeah, that's true. Big Robo guy. He was in the tummy. Yeah. He, uh, there was never much of a backstory on Crang besides the fact that he was an evil brain. That was kind of the beginning and end of it. What do you want?

A world domination? Yeah, I guess so interdimensional domination. Yeah, why was he cool with Shredder? What was their relationship? I feel like Shredder was his man on the ground. What was the first, like, piece of fiction or art or whatever that, like, was interdimensional? That's a really good point. Or, like, is it the 1980s or is it, like, the middle ages?

Yeah, because I mean, like, in the 50s, you would have those, like, amazing stories or surprising. this and that Or is like, but like is Dante's inferno the original? Yeah. Does Gilgamesh

go into another dimension? Well, the comic book started early, didn't they? Yeah. Like 40s or 50s? Yeah,

but I mean, you go way back. Maybe it's way, way, way back. They're talking about it. Oh, yeah. No, you'd get burned at the steak.

Yeah, that's true. Although they, in indigenous lore, the Sasquatch can travel dimensions. Oh, okay. He can move through time and space. Okay.

Well, I can move through time and space. He can do it in different ways. He can walk backwards, side to side. Like a crab? But, yeah, there was somebody made, I don't know why they keep getting sent this stuff on Instagram, but a diagram of what was at stake with the different Marvel bad guys. Yeah. And at stake with Doomsday.

Whole multiverse. Whole multiverse is in trouble. Who's Doomsday? He's a guy who wears a metal face, and he's being played by Robert Dennis Jr. Are you thinking of Destro? Yep. Oh, Destro.

Do you think of Cobra Commander? He was good. Well, he was bad, actually. I mean, good character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to Edmonton, Alberta next week, and I was looking at the amusement park in there, and it's themed, and it's a very bizarre,

I don't know who manufactures them, but... In the mall? In the mall? It's either the rides are either Play-Doh branded rides or G.I. Joe branded rides. Oh. Play-Doh, like the philosopher?

Yep. No way. Did he talk about injured dimensionality back then? He was the very first. Let me spin you a yard. Who had the cave with the like

images projecting? Is that Plato? Socrates? Well, Plato and Socrates, weren't they the same? Yeah, they hung out in the same. One was a teacher of the other, if I recall. Like one. Oh.

Oh, God. I did one philosophy class in college, and I was like, one of these guys is just, like, telling you what he learned from the other guys. Yeah. That's the best way to get famous is just do a thing that some other guy did. Yeah. Recap. He did sort of a recap podcast.

God damn piggybackers. But yeah, it's weird. It's like, what a weird, maybe that's Hasbro or something? Or maybe it's, oh, yeah. Yeah. And is it, like, is it branded in a way that, like, you are making a giant, uh, squishy beard on a character? Probably. Or is it just like the teacups.

I think there's teacups and then maybe a little kid ride. And then there's like a cobra commander ride and maybe a, uh, climbing wall or something like that. That sucks. What? What sucks about it? Is there anything for daddy? Yeah. Yeah.

There's a barely legal ride. Oh, my God. I know. I don't know why Hasbro owns that. I mean, a lot of the stuff at the music parks are barely legal. You can just go to the wave pool. Yeah, it's going to be quite a trip. I don't know if I'm going to make it to the mall.

But if I do, I feel I'll only have time to do one thing. I'm probably not swimming. So what should I do? At the mall? Yeah, if I get to the mall. Don't swim. What else is there? Amusement park?

The gap. The gap. I would go to the various gap. Get some khakis and then ride the roller coaster. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if it's a scary. Test those baby.

The roller coaster, maybe get the khakis out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are you an amusement park guy at all? What kind of a guy are? Yeah.

What kind of guy are you? Oh, an amusement park guy? No. Okay. Not amusement park. Yes, Halloween. I like to shoot from the hip. Oh.

Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. No, music parts are fun. Yeah. They're okay. But they're not your thing. Not really. I've got a slight anxiety problem, so that would.

And a broken back. Yeah, that wouldn't work very well. Yeah, how's your back now? Oh, it's good. Great. Yeah. Straight, straight, straight, straight, narrow. Better than ever.

Better than ever. And use your leg, does it stop wasting? It did stop wasting? Nice. Now is it overcompensating? Is it too big? Yeah, it's way stronger. It's calm down, left leg.

Yeah, whenever I was lifting weights, people were always, they're obsessed with symmetry. Oh, yeah, you have to be, yeah. Not me. I let whatever part wants to go for it. Like symmetry in your form or like? No, I had a guy in high school that only worked out of his arms so he looked like this. Yeah. They can't see.

I mean, he had big arms and nothing else. So he was. But like, yeah, he must. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen the lady in the water? The M-Night Chamelon movie? Yeah.

There's a character who just has one really big arm. Oh. An arm wrestling character? Yeah, I don't remember why. I know why. Tell us, Dave. I mean, that's a... Jerkin the Gurkin.

Yeah. That's one reason to, like, have symmetry is so that people don't make that joke about it. Have you seen the guy with the gigantic hands that's like an arm wrestling champ? He just has, like, naturally giant. Like, they're hilariously gigantic. This is your algorithm. This is, I know. Like Tony Robbins?

No, like bigger than Tony Robbins. Oh, okay. Like gigantic, like looks like a bunch of bananas kind of hand. Banana hands, yeah. Yeah. And he arm wrestles and it's, uh... Is it this guy? Yeah, it's this guy.

Oh, yeah. And he's, uh, yeah, he's got like, he's a muscular guy, but then like, yeah. Oh, look at there. Holding the pop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, holding his pops. Yeah. Yeah, that looks weird.

Making banana hand cakes. Looks like he was stung by a bee. Yeah, but that's his everyday reality. So, yeah, see, look at those arms. That's weird. Yeah, he looks like Popeye. The arm wrestling farmer. Yeah, Popeye was a sailor, not a farmer.

This guy hates spinach and loves Pluto. That's not a lot. He was kicked out of the fisting complex. competition. Come on. Come on. Hey. First we let you swear now this.

We really open up the faucets ourselves. I'm not going to swear again. Yeah, okay. We'll all do that. We should get a swear jar in here. Oh, yeah. Yeah, fun to a little combo trip or something like that. Does a lot of people swear?

It's fine. Yeah, it's great. We love it. But also, I do think it would be fun to have a swear jar. one has changed. That's true. Yeah, it's a... How, like, you see,

unhoused people with, like, a little square tap thing. Yeah? I haven't seen it very often. Yeah. I've never seen that. And then they, I guess they, um, I don't know how it works, but like,

they'd have to have a thing. You have to set up an account. But like, no, I just don't know, like, they tell you, oh, just tap here, but I don't know how much it's for. Like, I don't, how, like, Oh, yeah, because you're not putting in an amount. Oh, yeah. They'd have a set amount.

Yeah. They're pulling a fast one. Yeah. Well, I don't know. I, you know, I trust them. Yeah. I like to lead with grace. But we should have one here for the swear jar.

Just like, okay, can you tap your card? You swore four times. Tap it four times. Yeah, there was, I went out with past guest Emmett Hall. We went and saw some live music. And after the intermission, the lead singer. Intermission. I mean, Midway show.

I mean, break in the middle. Oh, yeah, bands between bands. Yeah. He came around with a collection thing

and I was like, I got to start carrying a little cash on me. Not much, but I just got to start carrying like, just to have a five on me or 10 on me. It is good to do. Yeah. But do you find that if you put it in your front pocket,

gets a little sweaty because it's just like a little piece of plastic? I put it in my wallet. I don't have any room in my wallet. I put it in my pocket, too. And then it's, it folds itself. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you carry cash? No. No. Me neither, but I want to.

I'll just have random fives. Yeah. Yeah. And they get super wet. We talked about there's a new $20 bill coming out with the king, King Charles on it. Oh, they had to replace the queen. Yeah, it had to replace the queen. It took like, it's been years from now, right?

Like three years? He had pretty weird hands too. Had? I guess he probably still. Yeah, he didn't go out of a weird hand on. They shot his hands that he turned into a weird hand. He got killed by the same guy. Give the king a hand.

And they, but, so that, the $20 bill's coming out with him on it. But it occurred to me, I still haven't seen a coin with him on it. He must be on all the coins. I've seen a coin. I haven't seen a bill, but I've seen a coin. And you know what? He should feel pretty flattered by his depiction on the coin. Well, that was the queen as well.

Like, they didn't, they never like. like zoomed in on things. Yeah, they were like very kind. It was like when Marge, um, painted Mr. Burns. Oh, yeah. But it's like, they give the king of bail.

You can see it just coming into the frame of the client. Swear jar. But he's a handsome man, isn't he? The king? No, yeah. No, he's not. I didn't know like, I took me, when I was a kid,

I didn't know he was ugly. Oh, the only reason that I knew that he was considered ugly was because of the television show's spitting image. Yes. And they were like... But they would exaggerate. I know, but he felt like the least exaggerated of the exaggeration. And I had big ears too. So I was like, well, it's fine.

Yeah. But he also had a big, uh, big schnauz and kind of sunken eyes. Look, these are, you know what? These are king features. Own it. Yeah. Like, you're describing Sarah Jessica Parker and she's beautiful. She should be the king.

Wait, what? She shouldn't have got rid of that mole. What mole? That was Enrique Iglesias? No, she had one too on her chin. Did she? Yeah, she got rid of it. And you think, like, that was the thing that kind of tied the painting together with the mole?

Yeah, I thought it was nice with the mole, and then it was gone. Oh, I never noticed the mole. This is very funny that this is a picture that has a watermark on it, but it looks to look like she has a mustache. It was a big mole. I think she put a lot of makeup on it. Huh. Yeah. Huh.

You're more up on your Sarah Jessica Park in the way. Oh, no. Yeah, I don't know why I know that. You're a big sex in the city guy. You're an S. Oh, hell yeah. They do a lot in that show. They do.

Yeah. What's your favorite thing they do in that show? Oh, boy. Are they, have they wrapped up the new version? Yeah. They're not coming back? They're not coming back. They can't come back from this one.

It's a true. Two seasons? Two seasons, and it was, I mean, your wife and I both found it. I watch her name out of my mouth. Wait. Wait, where's your name? Wait, I got to find my wife's name. To my mouth here somewhere. I watch it too. And? Did you watch, were you familiar with it before? Yes. You watched the old ones? Yeah, it wasn't very good. No, the storyline that was the best storyline was the stand-up.

comic that Miranda was dating and did you know that they all their ages in this is the same age as the golden girl really yeah wow isn't that messed up and they're older than the traveling wilburys is that true that's probably true too traveling well Tom Petty was like 37 and the oldest was um Roy Orbison was like 52 wow but they made the golden girls like old ladies and they were in their early 50s. It was a weirder time for hairdoes. It was also like 50 was old back then. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. Now you can have vitamins. You can have vitamins now. They wouldn't let them do it back back then. When I was in Calgary, one of the things I brought back with me, I brought a suitcase that had barely anything and I want to bring back on my yearbooks.

Oh. And we went, looked through my dad's yearbook. Man, every guy in there looks like he works for NASA. Like flat top, classic. all look like they're in the 40. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, you know. George Costanza was 34 when they started filming Seinfeld. Yeah.

And wasn't George Went also like 30 something when cheers started? Yeah. I mean, it's, like you, when you turned 18, you were an adult. Yeah, that's true. Like you started smoking. You started drinking. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

We're baby faces compared to. Imagine. Are you allowed to still smoke at war? Like, you would have, you would be smoking. Yeah, you'd be smoking. Yeah, you'd be smoking. Are the jarhead still smoking? I don't think so.

Probably not. No, now they're drinking shakes. Yeah, the drink shakes. Doing vapes. Yeah. They're eating Mr. Beast feastables and vaping. The thing, though, if you vape and it's the night and the little light comes on, giving away your target.

Well, same with a cigarette. Yeah, but you smoke the French style. You smoke it on the inside. No, and some of them are computers. You'll take a puff and a robot will go like this with the lights flashing. Then you're fucked. Then enemy at the gates is going to get you. Yeah.

God, shit. I don't want to go out like Ron Perlman. No. How did he go out? He was jumping across a little gap and the sniper shot him in mid-flight. In what movie? Enemy at the gates. Oh, enemy at the gate.

That's what I said. He's in that? Yeah, he dies in like 10 minutes. though. Okay. I saw that in the theater. Me too. Who's the star of it? Jude law. Jude law. Jude law, Rachel Weiss and the enemy.

Ed Harris. Oh, he said that's jinks on you for a pop. Yeah. And it's got to be out of the giant man's hand. Can we do it? So can we do the kind of jinks where I just don't get to talk? Until you say my name? I mean. But how do you know if I'm going to say your name or his name? So Dave?

No, it's not working as the wrong guy. Oh. Have it this, Dave. Okay. Yeah, you're back. Here it is. I didn't jinx you, though. No, that's true.

But you will next time. You'll be ready for it. Oh, yeah? Oh, great. Am I going to jigs too soon? Yes. Next jinks, we touch dinks. No.

No, no, no. You're going to change the rule. I mean, this is a constitution defines what a jinx is. Okay. Were you a jinks Coke? Uh, yes. It's where, like, oh, were people buying you coax if you jinxed? Oh, I'd be in high school.

We had a Coke machine. We had a Coke machine, yeah. And you would need to pay a buck 50 if you got junked? No, back then it was cheap. It was like 85 cents. How old are you? I'm 43. Oh, gross.

So we're all of the same pop vending age. Yeah. In my high school, it was 85 cents for a can I Coke. I think ours was a dollar. I feel like a loony took care. But that might have. been lower than the dollar. We had a bottle of coke. Really? And they just

didn't get cold enough. Oh yeah, the machines when they're not cold enough? Yeah. Yeah. Um, but, uh, yeah, in my home, we were always, uh, well, we did, okay. Dave's backpedaling on his own setup. No, I was like a, so if we jinked, like, if we said the same

word at the same time, someone would say jinks and then it went jinks, private jinks, one, two, three, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Oh, okay. And to, but all you had to do to call off the jinx was interrupt the person while they were doing that. Oh, no. You would just make a little noise.

Oh. Was this in the family or is this in the family? And I guess private jinks, like, otherwise, if it was just jinx, it would be open to the public. That's right. If you say private jinks, this is just between the two of us. And then you count to ten, and then they have to be quiet. And I think you get, you get three times saying their name before they can talk. What about when you did punch buggy?

What was the punch buggy rule in your car? We never did it in my home because we weren't a physical violence family. We did it at school and like on like field trips. If you're on the bus and you just say punch buggy orange, no punch back. No punch back. I never did punch buggy, but my family always did this one. Oh, where you hold down the white powers. No, it's.

Oh, yeah, no one can. If you do this with your handless, like circle, and then... And you look at it, they get to punch you in the arm. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I don't remember that one. Yeah, that was a huge thing when I was growing up. Yeah.

I did the face one where your face, your hands is big as your face, you have a concert or whatever. You'd pop the guy in the face. Oh, so... Yeah, there was another, well, there was the one... I feel like there were a bunch of these, though. Yeah, there was...

The punching game? Well, just like different sort of like... jinks and the punching game and punch buggy and yeah yeah um the flinch the flinch the flinch do for flinching for flinching sure um you know like one that was never i was never interested in but a lot of bag tagging would go on oh yeah no one was interested in it well these guys played it like their life depended on you would be like you got if you if you're you want to you know stay relevant check your bag That's true. You got to put your bag out there.

Oh, everyone's talking about this guy's bag. Let's give it a tap. Oh. Did you have that? Was that in your high school? Yes, sometimes, yeah. Was there a rule around it or you just had to take each other? The principal laid out the rules.

It was game on. Yeah. We did a big, like, I feel like in grade six or seven, all the guys got into wearing boxer shorts. Oh, sure. Yeah. And so there was a little. lot of wedging. Yes.

And then a lot of like, uh, you could snap bras as well. If, you know, if you were feeling it. Yeah. If you were equal opportunity. Yeah. Um, boxers when you were in, uh, as a youth boxers. No, I was in tidy whiteies. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was boxers, but only out of social pressure. Oh, okay.

Like I was fine. Once I found out Bill Clinton wore them. I was like, oh, I got to do it as well. I never thought about that. I didn't do boxers until way later. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it was a.

Do you do boxers now? Oh, I do. Straight up boxers. Yeah. Not the boxer brief. No. Oh, wait. What's that?

The tight box. The tight box. Oh, those, yeah. Yeah. I even have the ones that give you a little pocket. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Those are good. To put your coins. Yeah. Makes you look better. To put your wet $5 bill. Oh. They do add the effect, though, and the people are like, whoa.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It amplifies your. This is, How you keep your bag relevant.

Yeah. Yeah. Now I got quite the basket on me. Yeah. It's also when I was that age, it was funny boxers. It was like boxers that had friends on them. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Joe Boxer was a big name in the industry. Yeah. But I feel like funny underwear that just doesn't exist in the man's world anymore. Maybe novelty boxers. It's funny you say that. My friend's son. For his birthday last week, bought him a pair of Doritos Cool Ranch Boxers. Nice.

They look pretty good, actually. No, that I, I mean, he showed them. Okay, we put your phone away. No, no, no. I mean, he showed it. Not that, like, I saw them because we were about to get down. He said, look at my new boxers. Because we were about to get down.

You're off, you're an officer. I wasn't. It was. Nothing's going on. We weren't about to get down. Yeah. Yeah, I guess if you, like, I feel like if you go to winners, you can. Oh, yeah.

Wait a minute. No, no, there's not used. No. Winners is new. Yeah. Sorry, I've been to winters. Yeah. I was thinking in Value Village.

You get, yeah. You don't even sell boxers there? I wouldn't. They do sell underwear there. It's, I feel like, you know what? If you're out there and you're on, on, uh, discount underwear, Give me a shout. I'll buy you some underwear.

Yeah. Yeah. That's my pledge to you. None of our listeners will have to buy used underwear ever again. Yeah. We, uh, I feel like the funny boxer or like boxer shorts that were had like hearts all over them. Yeah. We're a big cartoon thing.

Oh yeah. Or the, uh, the happy faces. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, no, this guy, this guy's pants got ripped off by Garfield. I don't know what I'm thinking of. The funny thing you could do. with boxers is you could tuck in a pair

kind of down below your waist and make it like you're pulling your boxers up without stepping out of them. You could wear like, oh yeah. Like a funny setup. Wasn't that a cool thing to do back then? It was when I went to school.

I can picture what you're talking about. So you're wearing, you know, you put on regular pair of boxers and then you put on your pants and then you slide another pair of boxers down and do like a prank like a hand pulling out my underwear. I saw that. I remember that.

Yeah. You could do that with any, with tidy whitey. I know, but nobody wants to see that. You know what I mean? You want to see a funny pair of boxers. You could mix and match. You could be wearing tidy whiteys and then put some boxers.

That's true, but I wouldn't want to be called out. That guy was a charlatan. Yeah, there used to be a comedian in Vancouver. That was his big closers. You pull out a pair of boxers. Oh, really? Yeah, which meant that he had had those boxers in there, sometimes four or five hours before he was able to unveil it.

Oh, boy. Yeah. Because you got to do that. before you're in the green room. Oh, yeah. Why? I don't think any... Too much bag tag goes on.

You can do it at the moment you before you go on stage, can't you? Yeah, I know, but this guy, dude. Oh, okay. Yeah, I had one that had, like, lipstick kisses on it. Oh, that one I've seen yet. Yeah. Yeah, we've all seen you under our grave. No, I mean, not on you.

I mean... Dave and I were about to get down. No, in this... I saw it in your sexy calendar that you put up. No, no, in the catalog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you, I, past guest Alicia Tobin and I were trading back photos back and forth of the Sears catalog, like old pictures of pages of it. Oh, yeah.

Did you ever have any catalog experience? Oh, you mean like. Buying stuff out of a catalog. You're the same general ages. Yeah, yeah. I thought you meant something different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have any experience of doing something in the fairies?

Yeah, the lingerie section. Well, yeah. Sure. Yes, no, all the time. For Christmas, you'd always get the Sears catalog. You'd pick out, they called the Dream Book. Yeah, your toy. Yeah, would you, we would circle it.

Yeah, and then the number would be there, so it was easy to order it. Yeah, I don't know if my parents ever ordered it. Like, I think I would just like, I would circle it, and then they'd go to Sears or Eatons or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun to, yeah. I mean, it's pretty simple what I wanted. Yeah.

What was bad? Yeah, what did you have? Yeah, what? Rafael the Ninja Turtle. Yeah. Oh, nice. He had the size.

He did have the size. You know what I love was those crash test dummies. Oh, yeah. Smash them together and their cars would break. Yeah. And the guys, they were in the...

They were in the cars and their bodies would fly out everywhere. But they were the same guys from the commercials? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, was one of them voiced by, like, Howie Mandel or something like that? I think it was. They had a cartoon for a while, too.

Yeah. But I remember. them in those ads and I feel like one of them was a famous person that did the voice. But do you ever do was consumer distributing a thing when you were? No. That was that was no frills. Like you got the catalog, you had the number, you went in. It was just a room.

You had to go to the store. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you went to a desk and then they just brought it out in a brown paper box. Yes, I remember that. Yeah. Would you have been disappointed if you asked for crash test dummies and your parents got you the album by Crash Test Dummies? No, Superman.

No. You would have been happy. I'd be, yeah, I'd be depressed, but happy. What did you, what was your choice of music as a growing up? Or now. My parents really loved Motown. Oh. So I always listened to a lot of Motown.

Okay. Yeah, yeah. Your house was like the big chill. Yeah, yes, exactly. No, no joke. We had that on VHS, it was the double, you know, remember when they were double VAT? HHS. Yeah.

I only remember that when they were like four-hour movies. It was for some reason that movie was longer, I guess, because it was the double pack. Oh, so they left in all the conversations. Yeah, yeah. I think they had extras. That and Fiddler on the roof. That had a double. Yeah, it was a double set.

Wow. Okay. And two very kinds of music. Yeah. What was the, I don't know if we ever as a family ever owned a double. Wyatt Earp, did you ever see that with Kevin Costner? That was two. Wow.

I remember they had when Titanic came out. They had to, at Blockbuster, they had to put up a sign saying how to return it. Oh, because it was a double? Yeah, how to unfold it and put it through the... Oh, you had to fillet it. Yes. But, yeah, of course. Like, that was the big one.

That was the big one. Like, two VHS. Oh, yeah, that was a... That was fun. Oh, man. Well, my... Like, we were watching seven samurai. We were watching, you know, all the great...

Kenburn, Civil. The long movies that are actual films, you know? Oh, toady, toady. Yeah, what was I watched something the other day that was two and a half hours long and I was like, this was it, it was from the 60s. So it was like, this isn't the time of a movie in the 60s. It was everything was an hour and a half back then. Oh, yeah, everything's two and a half hours now. I know.

Spider-Man was almost three hours. I know. I saw it twice. Yeah? So you liked it. I did. My niece just told me she saw. six and a half time.

Really? What? Because she went to see it earlier that day. And I was like, how many times have you seen it? And she said six and a half. And I was like, what was the half? And she said, she was over it. I watched, one time I watched half of it on TikTok.

Oh. I guess you could now. And like two minute chunks. She went to the theater that many times and saw it? Well, one of the half times she didn't. She watched it on TikTok. And TikTok, but did she watch a whole time on TikTok as well? I don't know.

Hmm. Yeah. But, yeah, she did go to the theater multiple times. That's pirating. That's pirating, man. You got to get her off of that. I'm trying. I'm trying.

But the kids are so far gone. Yeah, you know, like, it's the way we put the radio business out of business by taping tapes. Yep. Yeah. They were right. Right. We did it in. Yeah.

By taping, you know, baseball game that they're broadcasting. Oh, yeah. Well, now that you've taped it, you won't have to listen live. That's true. You can just go back and listen to that one game. Listen to your car. Dave, Dave Schumka. What's going on with you, my friend?

Speaking of old movies, I went to go see an old movie in the movie theater. Okay. The park. A revival? Well, yeah, I guess so. I went to a revival. Is that a church thing as well? Is there like a church in a tent?

Yeah. Revival. Church under the big top. No, I went to go see at the, Park Theater. Boy, this is a classic film. Yeah. On two tapes.

Oh, yeah. This is a long one. It was a long one. It's called 2001 of Space Odyssey. Oh, yeah. Classic. You're familiar? I'm familiar, yes.

Who isn't familiar? Some people. Really? Kids. Probably kids have never seen it. Everybody knows about it. Your parents' parents, well, not your parents' parents, but this. My parents' parents probably do.

Yeah. Parents, parents. Hmm. Is it that far back? No. My parents' parents are all dead. Uh-oh. Uh, but they wonder.

Yeah, some of them would have known about it. My, I don't know if they would have seen it, though. Sally and I went to visit her grandmother, and they were talking about movie. And her favorite movie was Clockwork Orange. And I know. Yeah, I was like, huh, that's, yeah. That's an unusual. Yeah.

Like, that's an unusual choice for, I don't know why, but. Oh, it's like to think of a grandma loving. That. Apparently the Queen's favorite movie was yellow supper. Marine. Oh. Which I love the Beatles. I don't even like that movie.

No. Yeah. Have you seen Clockwork War? I was going to say, that's another one that was disturbing. Yeah. Yeah, that one kind of left me a little shaken up. Yeah. Well, you know, boys will be boys.

Oh, I don't know. Anyway, so I see this movie, 2001, a Space Odyssey. I remember when I was, like, in grade six and seven, we, um, the school had like a used book sale and I bought Leonard Maltons book of movie reviews. Yes. And that was the first movie in there alphabetically. Clark World Orange. No, 2001.

Of course, yeah. And they, I remember my friends came over. We were like desperate to see boobs. Like we would always be like, oh, what? And like, sometimes you would just look in the, uh, the Leonard Maltin book and be like, huh, I bet this movie has boobs. Because this was before the internet. Yeah.

And I remember my friend once opened the book and I was like, 2001, a sex odyssey. Oh, no, never mind. Yeah, you would have been so disappointed if you were going in that movie looking for boobs. There's no, maybe on the gorillas. Yeah, and the planets are pretty bulbous. Every 80s movie, you had boobs in it, though, if you think about it. Yeah. Yeah.

And all you had to do is find, like, an English film. I feel like they always have been to the English movies, too. Like, quite a few comedies. Oh, sure. Yeah. What's the... Trading places? Trading places.

That was a lot of boobies in that. It's so cool. Yeah. There was... It's one of the Monty Python movies. Oh. The naked ladies chasing a guy off the cliff. Yeah.

Is that the meaning of life? Yeah. That was more boobs than you could handle. My goodness gracious. Just press pause on the tape. Yeah, you did. And that's going to put the porn industry out of business. I know.

This pause button. This pause button. Oh. Yeah. So I saw this movie. I got my popcorn. Yeah. Got my drink.

This is an afternoon because you're too scared to go out after or? No. I think it was a 6 p.m. That's only for horror films. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not scared of, uh, space and time. You know,

an evil robot. Did you, uh, because I think 6 o'clock is like a perfect time to go to a movie. Because you're still evening ahead of you, but, you know, you're leaving. Refresh.

Yeah, there's going to be a nine o'clock show. Yeah. Oh, could I quickly? Are you guys fans of by yourself movies? Yeah. I do that all the time. Yeah. What's the last one you went to by yourself?

Um. I mean, I go a lot with my wife, but I will go by myself if the occasion calls for it. Oh, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was a, it was called Dog Stars. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, about, about Keanu Reeves's band. No. Is that his name is band? Yeah, the dogs. Oh, no, just Dog Star.

Oh, okay. It was about the apocalypse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was okay. Yeah. Yeah. Was it long? It was long.

Yeah. Ridley Scott, another offender in the long movie. Yeah, it was like two and a half hours long. Yeah. He's also an offender in the, I need to make a movie every year. Well, this one he could have skipped. Yeah, he could have skipped a few of them. Yeah.

Yeah. He. Gladiator, too. Oh, yeah. That was a travesty. Gladiator, too, because I have seen most of Gladiator on TikTok. And I just know that the ending of Gladiator 2 was a callback to something in Gladiator 1 that they don't set up in Gladiator 2. So it's like, but these movies are 20 years apart, probably.

Wait, no, 25. Yeah. Gladiator was 2000. Really? Yeah. Oh, I'm so old. Oh, no. 20 and 25 are the same thing.

Yeah, that's true. I do it with my kids. They'll ask what time it is. And I'll be like, oh, it's 6 o'clock. And then they look at the microwave and they're like, no, it's 557. 557 is 6 o'clock. Yeah, yeah. It's the same thing.

Grow up, kids. You don't have to goucher me on every, freaking thing I say. It's called rounding up, you little shit. Yeah, I know they teach you this because I help you with your homework. So, yeah, I saw this movie. Go by myself, of course. Got a little hole in the bottom of the popcorn. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's good. Butter. I'm off butter. No butter? Butter has been, I think I've pinpointed that that's what gives me stomach aches. Well, a little ball butter. Oh, my God.

Don't worry. He wasn't about to get down with anybody. Sorry. It's fine. Can't say that. You said you cut a hole in it. Yeah, yeah, that's true. You did lead him down the path.

I guess, your honor. Dave did start it, bleeding the witness. And then watch the movie. So good. Oh, the way that looks. It's way ahead of its time. Yeah,

well, they hadn't landed on the moon yet. Yeah, yeah. Ironic. And then there's like, it looks super cool. Yeah. A bit slow.

But that's because they got to make sure you see all the cool things. Yeah, it's cool. It's, I advise. How old do you think somebody would have to be

to kind of get? Yeah, like 14, 15 years old? I'd say 45. Because it is an adult film, yeah. Yeah. But not the way of home. No, not like that. But it's, it's, you sit, like, a movie theater is a great way to watch it.

I feel like if I was watching it at home, those shots that last so long, I'd be like, my eyes would be dying to go to my phone. Yeah. Yeah. But it's the vibes. Oh, the vibes in a movie theater. Except. The guy sitting behind me thought Hal was so funny. Always, like, laughing.

It's just little chuckles every time Hal said something. Oh, Hal's not going to let him. Hal does want to open the pot-bay doors? Hal is kind of the comic relief of the movie. You know, I think he always kept one funny thing in the tank, you know? He wasn't completely wrong. Like, it was a little bit funny, but yeah. The fact that, yeah, the fact that he just, like, he addresses him directly, I always thought was kind of funny.

And we, like, you know, I love a movie where they say Dave a lot. Oh, yeah. Wait, where's the park theater again? Which one's that? It's on Camby. Oh, that's the Camby one, yeah. Right around here. Yeah, I saw the hateful eight there in 70 movies.

Oh, yeah. Oh, you did, yeah. And they had an intermission. Yes. And then this movie has an intermission. Oh, it does? Yeah. Oh, shit.

It has an overture. Does it really at the beginning? I love. Oh, you know, it was fun. Do you remember Grind House? Yep. When they had the intermission, but they put in the fake trailers for movies. Yeah, and then they ended up making the real.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I remember you're in the theater for three hours and 45 minutes. Yeah. But the two films and the trailers in between. People who love movies, grow up loving movies, think that the ultimate is having most movie possible. Oh, yeah. When Darantino's like five hours of movie, that would be great.

Yeah, I guess he does like movies. Yeah, he likes movies. It was a lot of fun, seeing that in the theater. The Grandhouse. Everything's better in the theater. I don't get it

when people are like, I think I can wait for that on. It's crazy. On streaming. Yeah, but you won't like it as much. It's not as big.

It's not as grand. You don't get to eat popcorn? Yeah, you can't eat popcorn. With or without butter. I guess you can eat popcorn at home. You can't go back to butter. Dave can't handle it.

Oh, because of ball butter. No, I didn't. I didn't say it. This is kind of, of a gotcha show. Yeah.

We got you just where we watch. Okay, good. But, yeah, it's that thing of like, what is it? How to Win Friends and Influence People is saying a person's name is the most beautiful sound to them. Right. And this movie has it in Spades. If your name's Dave, check out 2001 a Space Odyssey or the movie Dave with Kevin Klein.

Oh, great movie. Yeah. Yeah. Any other favorite Dave's in pop culture? I mean, there's a lot of them. There's a lot of Cooly. Thomas? Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's?

Yeah. Yeah. This is that you related to growing up. Well, there's another Dave Thomas. No, Dave Thomas, the actor. Oh, the actor. See, why did I go straight to Wendy's? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No, Dave Thomas is always going to be Wendy's in my heart. Yeah. Number one. He made a square patty was his contribution. Oh, yeah. And always broiled.

Yeah. Never frozen. Never frozen. Yeah. And always broiled. Yeah. Have you been to the Wendy's on? Oak Street and Broadway?

No, but it's probably better than the one I can be. That's a war zone down there. Yeah, that one's messed. Yeah, it is. I don't go in that one. No, you want to drive-thru. Yeah. Yeah.

Unless you want to pee on the floor. Oh, I might. Yeah. Pee, I call bladder butter. Oh, no. See? Bladder butter. Oh, no.

Yeah. Dick juice. Oh, dig juice. Oh, okay. Wait, the one on Olkin is new, right? Yeah. Yeah. It used to be a Johnny Rockets.

Oh, yeah. But Johnny Rockets Express or something where you couldn't sit down. That was my nickname in high school. Now, here's a question, and you'll know as a Wendy's fan, when did they phase out the yellow napkins? Because they feel like yellow napkins was their trademark. Mid-90s, maybe? That's what I was associated with. Yeah.

Because I have, yeah, when I go through a drive-thru, I always put napkins. I keep the napkins in my car and I haven't seen a yellow napkin. No. Since cars went electric. At Newport. That's the Newport boat. Bob Dylan drove an electric car on stage. He's got to do that.

He's got a million dollar opportunity. Dylan goes electric? In a car. No way. There's no way. How do you make money off of that? Pete Singer smashes up his Tesla. with a hatchet?

Yeah, this machine kills a hash as he says. The, yeah, because when I was kidding, like Wendy's was very, like, that was like a once a year. Oh, yeah. It was a very obscure character in the,

it was McDonald's all the way. Except the spicy chicken even back then in the 90s was the go-to. Was it? Yeah. Not for me. No? No, if I was going to eat chicken,

got to be KFC. But back then it was limited time, so you couldn't get it all year around. That's true. I feel like it doesn't earn it spiciness. What? This is, you've offended Dave personally on this. It's got some kick.

It's, you know, it's got kick, but I feel like when I eat something spicy, I want to have it, like, taste like whatever is making it spicy. Oh, wow. This tastes like chicken that makes my mouth hot. Oh, yeah, it's artificial. Well, I don't know if it's artificial, but I just like, I don't get like a jalapeno zing or anything. No. Yeah. I can't handle it.

It's ruined it for me. Look, I think you're, you know, your emotional attachment to the spicy chicken sandwich. No, you can. The thing is, you're right. I didn't mean to yuck your yum. I think you just, I did. This is one of these pivotal moments where it's, it's like I'll never unsee it. Yeah.

I can't put that toothpaste back of the tube kind of thing. Oh, if I could. Think of all the money I'd say. Next you're going to say Santa isn't real. I'm not going to say that. You'll figure it out. That's what the thing. Yeah, with my kids,

they've, well, they've figured it out, but one of them wants, still wants to believe. And I'm like, I'm not playing the game anymore. You're out. Now that you know, how did they figure it out? Sorry, if I. Just like friends and Romans, countrymen. You know, I know how I figured it.

I still remember to this day. Oh. I don't know. The day before. Christmas. There was a present on the tree that already said to David from Santa. Oh, classic blunder. Yeah.

How old were you? Oh, eight? That's about right. Yeah. It feels like that's when you need to figure out. What's that grade four maybe? Yeah, grade four? Do you ever go on like a bit of an excavation looking for?

Oh, all the time. Exhibition. No, sorry. For present? Yeah, for present. Yeah. My parents put in the closet and hide them behind the clothes. Yeah, that was my parents' hiding spot was in deep in the closet.

I found them once and then I immediately felt so guilty. Yeah. I was like, oh, why did I do this? Oh, yes, I had that too, yeah. I'd find ones that's really important. Yeah. Oh, I just wanted to see, you know, my box or shorts. I'd be getting.

Daffy duck. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I ever saw. I never found presents that were unwrapped. I found wrapped presents. But I don't think I ever, like, spoiled anything. I found an unwrapped one that was a big one, and it was a spoiler.

What was it? It was Super Nintendo. Oh, that's a big game. And I felt awful, yeah. The worst is if you find, or I don't know if it's the worst, but like if you find, oh, they got me a video game. I don't even have this console. Yeah, yeah. Oh, and then that's worse, yeah.

Well, maybe Santa's bringing the console. Or maybe not. Maybe we bought this one. Yeah, maybe you just got you got you a cartridge you can blow in. Or you don't even put it together because you're a fucking idiot. Oh, this was like fun, but I don't know. Mom and Dad are never going to. They don't get it.

This you can bring it over to your friends house and play. Yeah. Although that's not a bad. It's not the worst idea. Like, you get invited over to some kids' house if you had a special. That would actually be good. Yeah. Everybody brought a game over and then, like a game potluck.

Yeah. Game potluck sounds amazing. That is kind of good. They won't do that anymore, though. Everything's going to be subscription. Oh, that's ridiculous. This takes so long to download a thing. Yeah.

I like the physical copies, too. Yeah. Are you a gamer? Yeah, I just love that, the warmth of the... Yes. Oh, okay. He's being cheeky. He is being cheeky.

You caught me. Okay. What games are you playing? Oh, I play first person shooters. Okay. Yeah. Or everything, though. Mostly I play those because I play with friends online.

I got to get some online. So it's kind of fun when you play with friends. You swear at each other? Oh, yeah. Terrible stuff. Yeah. Oh, man. I'm going to pone you.

Oh, yeah. You got poned. Don't go to sleep. Is it just pals or do you go on in the general where it's like some, you know, crazy kids from Nebraska? No, those people are crazy. No. Just friends, yeah. Those guys say some terrible stuff. That's true.

Yeah. We usually, yeah. We just go in Discord. So you can't hear. You can just hear. your friends. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. No. That's what we use our Discord for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Listeners, we do have, the show has a Discord and I've never used the audio channel.

No, me neither. But maybe I do and go on and swear and call everyone, you know. Ball butter. Some kind of ball butter guy. Call everyone a noob. Yeah. Yeah. What are you?

you like specifically, is it Gears of War? Gears of War, yeah. Doom, Doom 2. Well, Doom 2 is the best. Yeah. The new Doom is pretty fun too. Castle Wolfstein 3D. That was the best ever.

Are you good at video games? That's my big thing. Not at all. No, terrible. But it's just fun to play. It is fun to play, but it's not if you're playing with somebody's really good. No, then you feel like a loser. It's the camaraderie.

So you're playing on a team? Yes. Okay. Yeah, oh, yeah, team of four. Okay. Yeah, that's why it's really. fun. I'm a big download a video game or buy a video game, play it one day, and then forget about it

for six months, and then be like, well, where did, where am I? Have we redeemed our red deadness yet? Yes. That game I've, from all reports, is a fantastic game. It is. Red Dead redemption. I did that thing with you did, though. I got halfway through and then forgot about it.

Yeah. I'm still in the, uh, whatever, the like, uh, yeah, the tutorial. tutorial. Yeah, yeah. You go and make a sandwich and then it's over. Yeah, you come back. What the hell? Yeah, I haven't played, honestly, I haven't played like a modern video game in years.

I like, whatever console I have now is one console ago. Oh, okay. And I have GTA 5 on that. I had the one, I had it on the previous console as well. I don't think GTA 6 comes out on this new, my old. console, though. It doesn't. Yeah, I'm going to have to

spend, you know, thousands of dollars to kill someone. Yeah. But it's worth it when you know, when you see that life slipping away. Oh, yeah. Bashing a random man's brains in is

like you feel alive. I'm twitching right now. My kids, I would play GTA5 with them, but just like, you know, open world thing and they will like They like to, you know, steal a car and drive it. And then when the police are after them, I have to. Dad, can you lose my wanted level?

Oh. So I have to, sure. Yeah, it's tough, actually. Well, I'm pretty good. Can you play that in a team or that's, that's all solo, isn't it? No, there's a, I've never played it. There's a multiplayer for that, too. I think, I don't know if it's on console or PC.

I think it's only on, no, I think it's on console too. My algorithm just shows me, like, people playing video games. And it's fun to watch. And I'm like, I've got to get this game where you're, you're like doing gladiator fights in the Middle Ages. Oh, those are good. Yeah. I like the treasure hunting games are fun. What, give me an example?

Did you ever play Uncharted? No. Okay. But it sounds good. You have, or like Tomb Raider. Yeah, I remember Tomb Raider. Did they ever do a, um, the Da Vinci Code video game?

Well, that's kind of what uncharted is like, you have to find artifacts. Yeah. To find, like, find out the puzzle and, like, get to the end. That seemed like a very specific type of video game. Like, it's... Yeah, yeah. What do they call that? Action Adventure.

That is pretty specific. Most of them are pretty sedentary video games. Like an Indiana Jones-esque. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was there, I know that there were Indiana Jones games, but were any of them any good?

The recent one was good. And the recent James Bond ones apparently really good. Oh, yeah, yeah. James Bond, man. Who's going to be the next, you know? Oh, who's got next on. People keep the thing that's going to be an American guy. It's going to be a British guy.

Oh, it has to be a British. Yeah. But Jeff Bezos, his wife is going to be the Bond girl. Oh, no. those are some double Ds. Yeah. When Dave came in, I said, Dave, I'm Dave, and he said double Ds.

And then what did you say? Oh, my favorite size. We're a bunch of adults. Sorry. Like I would know, like on site, oh, those are double D's. That's my favorite size. Yeah. Well, anyway, that's what's going on.

with me. I saw a monkey become a spaceman. And you loved it. And I loved it. So much stuff stolen by George Lucas. Like it's all I feel like it was all there in that movie. And George Lucas just yuik, yuik, yoy. They always make those

analogies. There are like fun, like, there's things that are I bet this was a joke at the time because like the Russians and the Americans are just chatting like friends. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's not. They hate each other. But yeah, so check it out.

It's by Stanley Kubrick. Yep. And he's no longer with us. So let's pour one out. Yeah. Old SK. He, you know, he wasn't ever able to see AI through to the end of its production. He wasn't ever to see.

It's just all mapped out. That's all it was. He didn't even see what's it called. Eyes Wide Shut. Oh, that's a hit. Yeah. Just kidding. Have you seen it?

Yes, yeah. Yeah, it's a Christmas movie. It's a great film. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I can't remember. Maybe he said that it was his favorite of his movies, was I'd like a shot. Really?

Yeah. But it, but probably every new movie he made was his new favorite. But how much before it came out did he die? Like, there were rumors that it wasn't even finished when he died. That's entirely possible. Yeah. Along the way, he was like, this is the best. This is going to be the best.

I'm not going to New York to shoot this thing shot. in New York. It's all going to be in England. Oh, yeah. Well, he didn't go to Vietnam. He shot all of full metal jacket in England. No, I refuse to believe it. They didn't even go to, like, Philippines or whatever.

That's true. There is a double-deckerbuss in it. No, that guy goes, he gets around. Anyway, that's what's going on with me. How about you? Well, speaking of all things, horror movies and scary and Stephen King

I watched a movie that Stephen King said is the scariest movie ever made. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, is it famous? It's famous, but it's old.

It's like... Oh, is it Nosephiratu? Not Nosepharadus. It's... The Metropolis. Is it... Train coming at screen? The jazz singer.

It's a movie that It's the DNA of it has been used by a billion others. The ball butter. The ball butter. Ball butter again. We got you. It was a movie called the Night of the Hunter. I'd never heard of that.

And it's, you know, the old. When you say it's old. Give me a time. We're talking like the early 60s, late 50s, early 60s. But it doesn't take place then. It takes place much earlier in like, you know, wagon, wagon times. Oh, okay.

No, wait. There's car, it's car times. Sorry, it's car time. Early car times, though. Ramshackly car times. Radio flyer takes place during wagon times. That's not. He's being cheeky again.

Cheeky alert. We got to have a cheeky jar. Oh, it's going to be full. Oh, it's going to be full. Oh, it's a lot of it is. And it's, there's a lot of, of stuff in it that like, you know, like green or blue screen driving. Oh, yeah.

That kind of stuff that kind of. Scary. Yeah. Oh, boy. Stephen King's like that. When they're driving the car, it is scary because you're like, there's no seatbelts and there's really nothing keeping that car together on the dirt road. Oh.

You know, you feel like, this is, this must be rattling your brain when you're driving these things. What's it about? It's about a guy who, uh, he robs a bank and he races home and he, he, races home and he gives his kids the money. He tells the kids where the money is. And he said, you can't tell anybody. And then they arrest the dad.

They take away the dad. Uh-oh. And so then the dad's in prison. Uh-huh. And his bunk made is this, uh, priest or parson or, I guess not priest because he gets married at one point in the movie. Is it Parson Brown from let it snow? Same.

And that's why it's so scary. Winter Wonderland? Winter Wonderland. Yeah. Frosty the Snowman also maybe Parson Brown? No, winter wonderland. Yeah. Um.

So he's in jail for something else, and he's in the same prison cell with the dad. And the dad speaks in his sleep, and he's kind of coaxing him like, and where did you hide the money? And he wakes up before then and punches him in the face, but he knows there's money somewhere. So when he gets out of jail... Wait, they're in prison together. Who punches who in the face? The dad. The dad punches him in the face.

because he's like, you were trying to get it out while it was asleep. Oh, yeah. You need to know, like, if you're a sleep talker. You need to get one of those apps. Yeah. What, it's very convenient that he just happens to be a sleep talk. Yes, exactly. So then he gets out of jail first, and he goes, the minister, the priest, the parson.

Oh, oh. And he goes to the father's family and says, like, I was best friends with your husband. And he said to come and take care of you in his app. absence, but he just wants that money. And the kids, the kids haven't told the mom, she doesn't know that there's money around. It's just this kid and his sister. They probably know he's. They know he's a bad dude.

Up to no good. Yeah. And he like, and the sister's much younger. And so she's really the one that you're afraid. She's the one that's going to tell. Uh-huh. Where's the scariness come in on this? This sounds so scary already.

This just sounds like a, uh, thriller. Objection. I think it sounds. scary. Yeah, having to worry if a little girl's going to... Yeah, so there's multiple murders in it. Oh, okay. Yeah. He travels around. He has love and hate

tattooed on his knuckles. Oh, is that where that's from? I think that's where it's from. It's, like, I think Cape Fear really took some stuff from that. He's a violent man. Uh-oh. And he's a, but he's of the Lord and he says everything he does is in justice. Night of

the Hunter? Yeah. Of the living dead. Okay. No, no, Dave, that's not it. 1955. Oh, yeah. What's his face? Hollywood tough guy. Robert Mitchum.

Oh, that guy's creepy. Yeah. Yes. So he's very... I think I've seen a clip from this, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen, I've watched this on TikTok. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, he has it. Cheaky jar. Cheeky jar. Let's put money in the cheeky jar. Where'd you watch? Is it a Criterion channel? Yes, that is correct. And he...

Must be nice. He does. It's pretty nice. He sings a song, and that's how you know that he's nearby, he sings this, like, old hymn. I've been working on the railroad. It's funny that Stephen King liked that because he was in a Stephen King movie in the 80s. Robert Mitchum?

Yeah. Oh, I think he was a huge fan of Robert Mitcher. Yeah, okay, because he was in a couple of his Stephen King movie. Yeah, and he was like, he was a, he was a tough guy in Hollywood. He was a, yeah. Mitchum is a brand of deodorant. Yes. Right.

That's a very good. good branding, like, to name it after a tough guy. Yeah. True. Who would, if we had it today, who would... Ben Diesel. I mean, Diesel has its own fragrances, don't they? Have you seen that video?

Of the guy who's like, what is he? He's got some kind of drug. He's drinking whiskey. He's got a shower going. He's wearing just jeans and a shirt. Like, Old Spice? Freckin, is it like?

Diesel jeans, glass of whiskey. It's just like a guy's own video. Diesel jeans, glass of whiskey, like, Adavan or... Sure, just having a great drink or something and a hot shower. Oh. Gotta find this video. It sounds like heaven. But yeah, this is some guy.

This is an ad. Now we just seen diesel jeans. Oh, yeah. This is a vine. A vine. Remember vines? Yeah, like, 22nd clip?

Yeah. How long was a vinyl out to be? Shower time, adderol, a glass of whiskey, and diesel jeans. Oh, those are jeans. Those look like, those look like underwear.

They're so tight. He's got a weird build. He looks like a centaur. Okay, well, you're not like the great, you don't have the greatest body either. No, there are some good vines, though. Oh, sure.

Yeah. Like that skateboarder that's on the phone. with his girlfriend? I don't know. I can't, it's probably too rude for the show. No, it's fine. This is not a,

this is a rude show. Okay, it's called so no head. You know, this is gonna be all better. So this is just gonna be. There it is, yeah. I do miss Vine.

I was never on it. So no head. That is pretty funny. I guess he's mad. Oh, what was that thing of? Yeah. he is on the phone

and he says So no head and then smashes his own phone and his skateboard I guess she said no Yeah Yeah that's great See Vine

Without it We wouldn't have TikTok and where would we be Without TikTok? We wouldn't have Who are the top Vine stars We wouldn't have I'm in my mom's car

Broom broom What's his name was big on it One of the Paul brothers That's where they started Yeah That's how he got started Yeah Yeah

Yeah You'd be walking down the street and they just do full splits really fast. When I was watching, like, old episodes of Hell's Kitchen, he was one of the, like, special event things they did. He was, and he was from Vine. That's what, Vine Star, Paul. What's his name?

Jake. Walker? Jake, Paul, Paul. Oh, sorry. You've got your head in the diesel universe. I use Paul Walker, Dior. It smells good. It's on fire.

Sorry, that was bad. And then, so it was scary. It's very scary. It's a very unsettling movie. What's the runtime of this? It was two and a bit hours, I think. I'm losing it. Oh, no, shit.

It was, yeah, you said that's, you couldn't believe it was that long for that long time. Oh, it was 93? Okay. What was the other on the watch was too long? Anyways, it's good. Recommend it. It's very, yeah, it's very unsettling. It's, like, it's definitely of its time.

I can remember a clip from it where he's like cowering over one of the kids and you can see his tattoos. And he has that sinister look on his face all the time. Yeah, and he's chasing the kid. Like the kids are constantly doing. Yeah, yeah. You did his voice, exactly. And then my other movie thing was I went and saw Coyote versus Acme. I thought you said.

Well, I heard that was really good. It was fun. Coyote versus Ugly, the sequel. Yeah, I enjoyed it a lot. But with the two theaters, the Rio and the park, you can buy a little, like a membership. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you get like discount on tickets and refills on soda and pop porn. And so I watched this and I drank my soda so fast because I'm like, I'm going back out to get another one.

Any size? Just like flies. That's from Spider-Man song. He catches these just like flies But like the best value would be just Get a small and keep refilling Exactly So I got a medium

Refilled Too much pop Yeah Stomick was so sore by the end of the movie Did you go to the bathroom during the film? No I just ran out and got a I got a refill and then It's just my stomach

You can't drink that much soda You never had to pee once during the movie It's only an hour and a half long Yeah You didn't You didn't You know have to go the bathroom and shoot.

Nope. Dick juice or butt bullets. Oh, no. Yeah, look where you've dragged us into today. Dick juice. Yeah. But yeah, it's when you go to a movie, do you popcorn a soda? I do.

But I usually, I have a weak bladder, so I have to pick my battles. Yeah. I had to go over. Yeah. Oh, cheesy jar. You're so surprised by every joke. But we really do have to institute a cheeky jar. Guys, I'll be bankrupt.

My kids will be out on the street. I'll have to rob a bank and tell them where I buried it. Oh, yeah. Buried a bank. Do you guys want to move on to some overheard? Yep. Hello, I'm John Luke Roberts, and I host Soundteep, and I'm here with Max Fun, member of the month, Ryan Adams.

Thank you so much, Ryan, for being a listener and supporter of our show. And congratulations on being this month's member of the month. Hi there. If you were recommending Soundtee to a new listener, how would you entice them to the show? I'm making notes on this, by the way. You have all sorts of podcasts from different topics or whatever out there, and you have a lot of fictional ones. It's a podcast, but it's not really a podcast, but I'm not describing it very well.

No, you're describing it. I think it almost as well as anybody could. It's a podcast, but it's not really a podcast, but it's also an infant number of podcasts. That's what I would. That's how I'd put it. What would you say to other people who are considering supporting the show? If you like podcasts at all and you like humor, supporting Soundheap is a good choice. Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Support Maximum Fun and Soundheap. God, that's perfect. That's absolutely perfect. Support the shows you love, including this one. Check the show notes for a link or go to Maximumfund.org. You know, we've been doing my brother, my brother me for 15 years. And maybe you stopped listening for a while, maybe you never listen. And you're probably assuming three white guys talking for 15 years, I know where this has ended up.

But no. No, you would be wrong. We're as shocked as you are that we have not fallen into some sort of horrific scandal or just turned into a big crypto thing. Yeah, you don't even really know how crypto works. The only NFTs I'm into are naughty. funny things, which is what we talk about on my brother, my brother, and me. We serve it up every Monday for you if you're listening. And if not, we just leave it out back and it goes rotten.

So check it out on maximum fun or wherever you get your podcast. Overheard. Overheard's where we hear things out there in the world. We share them here on the podcast. It's the right thing to do. And we always like to start with the guest, Dave, Harris. Hi, yes. Do you have an overheard?

I do. Well, I overheard this at a, it was like a, you know, when you're young and you go to like a Sunday brunch at your friends or your family friends place. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know, like, well, I was, I remember because it was a long time.

I was like 12 years old. Sure. And it was a, it was a big Sunday brunch potluck. Yeah. And it was like a stormy day. And there was about 20 people there and we're all in the in a kitchen, big kitchen room that had a big pantry and like, they set up a ton of tables. And there was a. giant thunderstorm, thunder and lightning storm when everyone was having dinner.

It was, and you're kind of quiet is when everyone's eating. Yeah. And the thunder went like really loud and, uh, sorry, the lightning and then the thunder like shook the whole house. You know, when it's really loud, it goes boom, like a giant thunder noise. Yeah. And this was 12 years old. There's still landline.

So like, you know the phone that's on the wall? Like, yeah. And right when the thunder hit and like made the loud noise, I'm not like, five seconds after the thunder hit the phone rang. and the dad from the place, he was sitting there and he went and pressed the speaker, like to go on speakerphone? Yeah.

And he goes, hello? And then just some guy just said, is the coast clear? Yeah. I still remember to this day. It was like 35 years ago. That's very presumptuous to like room,

like house full of people. I'll go speakerphone. Yeah. Well, he was annoyed. So he's just like, oh, I'm going to, because we were eating. But like the timing of that.

was magical. Do you remember that growing up and being like, I can't believe it. The idea of like, I hope it won't disturb someone while they're eating. And like my parents being like, no, don't answer the phone. We're having dinner. Yeah. That rule got tossed out the window at some point where phone during dinner.

Oh, yeah. Became. Yeah, became fun. Yeah, became a thing. Also, I'm not answering a phone at any time. Yeah. Morning, noon, or night. Thunderstorm or not.

And I'm eating dinner over the. sink, so who gives shit? From now on, if I do make a phone call, that'll be my opening line. It's the coast clear. Just to make it kind of like an adventure, really. Well, I mean, to time that that good. And he would never know that he got a whole audience. That's true. He didn't know he's playing to a whole room. Did it get laughs in the room? Oh, yeah. Everyone's like, how the hell did that guy do that? And the guy's probably like, oh, man, I was making a nefarious phone call here. I'm having an affair with this guy. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and, Love it.

I love it. And that's probably been part of family lore of yours ever since. It was, it's always been talked about. Yeah. It was, like if you say to your, Is the Coast Clear?

Yeah. Oh yeah, they remember right away. There's one that Dave has, from billion years ago, and I just used it the other day. I got a big laugh out of Sally as, uh,

Daddy's full. Oh, yeah. That's not even me. That's Sheila and Abby. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

It's, uh, where was it? I feel. feel like it was at the Taco Bell in Bellingham maybe. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And they, uh, uh, the, is it like a family.

Yeah. And, but you know what? It might not be Taco Bell. I feel like I thought it was Taco Bell and someone corrected me recently. But anyway, uh, there were a dad and some, his kids were there and they were waiting forever. And finally he finished eating. And he said, Daddy's full. And the kids go, yay.

Yeah. No. Oh, can I say one more? Yeah. I was at a blackpool in England. I've been to blackpool. Yeah, there was a big amusement park there. Yeah, yeah.

And we were there. It was my family. And then there was this like obnoxious American man. Well, he was kind of mean. Yeah. You were waiting in a hot dog stand. And the guy was so excited about selling hot dogs. He said, this is the best dogs you've ever had.

And the guy's like, really? And then he was making it for him, the guy in front of us. And he's like, here you go. And then the guy took one bite of the hot dog. he spat it out on the ground and threw it in the trash the great rows and then looked at the guy

making the hot dogs and went he did the kissing his spirit Yeah yeah like the Belissimo We couldn't believe it Is he complimenting the guy Is he really throwing it in his face?

I think he's throwing in his face but we were like what that this guy's got style Yeah that's true He does have style I'm so hungry Yeah, oh, I know. Just thinking about a hot dog.

Yeah. Blackpool is a place where I went, and it's like a big where you go for Bachelor Party. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. And parties. End parties and stagg doze. And there was a guy, the next morning when we were packing up to leave, there was a guy just walking down the porthwalk completely naked. And you could tell, like, he had been left to his own devices.

He didn't know where he was. He didn't know where his friends were. They took his clothes off and, like, taped him to a pole or something like that. Yes. I don't have any friends like that. I was just thinking the same thing. I'm so glad I don't have any friends. Like that.

You know, yeah. Like, I never, you know, I never had bag tag friends. Like, I've never had that. It's truly bag tag. Yeah. That's bag tag culture. Yeah. Ball butter brothers.

Yeah. Yeah. The dribble me. Oh, yeah. No friends who, like, hid ball butter anywhere. For you to discover. No, we know oaky cookie. Yeah, I knew the guys.

And sure, we'd go to the same parties, but they were not running in the same. We were not, pal. It was a small town. You had to, you knew everyone. You had to do what you had to do. Dave, do you have it ever heard? This is an overseen. I was at a few weeks ago, I was driving near Stanley Park.

Yeah. And, but it was city streets. And in the HOV lane, the bus lane, there was a guy. on a lime scooter while wearing a Harley Davidson jacket. Oh, yes. Nice. Nice. That's good.

I've always been, I've always thought it was funny if somebody's wearing a Harley Davidson jacket and driving a car. I always thought that was a funny thing to see. The lime scooter, have you ever taken a lime scooter? Too scared. Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. Yeah, I want to, I, honestly, I break my back. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, it would slip out from under me right away. Oh, yeah. Or get T-boned. Yeah. We're recording this on the day after the first day of school. Yeah. And I was like, taking my kids to school this morning. I was like, I wonder if we're going to start seeing kids on electric scooters.

And then we did. Yeah. They're supposed to change the age, though, because a lot of bad stuff's happening on them. Yeah. Yeah. It's when I see people zipping around on them, I'm like, this is, you're going to get her real. Like, it's going to get her real bad. Russell Peters would whisper to me.

I see, like, and I don't know what the laws are. Like, kids are wearing, not wearing helmets. They're just wearing crocks. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I wouldn't, I would, yeah, I want to. Sometimes there's two of them on one scooter. I've seen that for, yeah.

Yeah. I don't know if there are, are they allowed on sidewalks or are they not? Nobody, there's no rules established with this. This just became a curse on us and we're just supposed to figure it out. I didn't just throw it in a bush when you're done. Yeah, yeah, you just ride it into traffic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about you, overheard?

My overheard comes courtesy of, so I thought yesterday, because this is the, today's the day after the day after Labor Day. So I assume that the day after Labor Day, that's full school day, but it's only a couple hours. It's one hour school. Yeah, so then right across the street from us, there's an old couple, live in a house, and next to them is a couple with kids. Like, they play basketball.

And you have, there's an old lady who lives in a shoe, is that right? Yeah. And you know what? She had so many kids. Dave, report to the cheeky dark. And so these kids,

like from 11 a.m. on kids are playing some sort of game in the backguard. Blasting hits. Old hits. Hits from the 90s. Oh, yeah. Like,

they're listening to Nirvana and Spatricky Pogues. It's very weird because I'm like, these kids, I walk by the, defense to see what the hell was going on. They were like 14 year old kids. All had identical haircuts. All had the broccoli cut.

Yeah. They're playing, Where's my hand? Tell me about this. That's one of your ball better games. No, it's not. Sorry.

But at one point in the playlist, I don't know what playlist this was, but the National Anthem came on. Like of Canada? They of Canada. And they all said, Dang it.

What? They stopped their game and sang the anthem. So they do the French part in the middle? They didn't do the French part, but when it said, like they do at the Canucks game, where it says free, and everybody goes, free! They did that. But it was very funny that they stopped whatever game they were doing. Let's sing the national anthem boys. It takes our hat off so we can see our broccoli cuts.

Spotify should be required to add that to any playlist. Just the national anthem of the country you're in. Yeah. Show some respect. And you can tell if you're using a VPN if you get a different country's national anthem. Do either of you know any bit of any national anthem outside of Canada and America? God save the king. Oh, yeah.

That's a good one, yeah. And then the French one. I know that I would recognize that it's the Marseillaise. Yeah. But I don't know the words. Or the melody at the moment. Is Britain's Hail Britannia? No, it's

God's say, Oh, so what's Hail Britannia? That was just like, I don't know. I don't know. It was just like a braggadocious song that they used to sing.

What is like, uh, yeah, when would you hear one? Like, the Olympics, yeah. The French one is like,

da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, nah, da, da,

that's the French, yeah, that's the French. And then it goes into all you need is love. And there's one. And it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, Their national anthem has a lyric in it about how beautiful the ladies are there and how cool the cars are. Oh, really? Yeah, it's a pretty young country. And it mentions pretty girls and cars. Kind of beachway-esque. Who wrote that? Brian Wilson.

What's the most, the honor of the fatherland is the... Whoa, whoa, whoa. Most, the newest. the newest national anthem and it is for the country of Niger Oh Is it really?

Yeah. Okay. Did I say that or okay? Yeah, it's fine. We'll edit it in a post. Oh, it's fine. That's how it's pronounced. We're all fine.

Dave, just put a little money in the cheeky jar just in case. Oh! Now we also have... I couldn't watch the first Star Wars movie because of that cheeky jar jar. Oh, there he is. That's double cheeky.

You're being cheeky about the cheeky jar. This ball butter is a double B, my favorite size. Yeah. Now, we also have sent it to us by listeners all over the map if you want to send anyone in, send it to SBY. For you having a good time. I'm having a great time.

You're interrupted. That's fine. Everybody knows what I was going to say. But you're having a good time? Well, of course, yeah, yeah. I don't know if I've offended you. No, what, no. Dave, you can't offend.

Hey, this guy. No, I say some crazy jazz. You do say some crazy jazz. That's what they said about Howard Stern. Crazy jazz. They should have a national anthem that's scatig. Oh, you know, you could get to saying that. No, I don't.

Oh, really? Yeah. I don't think about it. You know, I think you can figure out somebody that would be good. at it. Scatman? No, a certain lady from a certain... Well, she's not scatting.

She's reciting poetry. We're talking about Kim Cottrell and her beat poetry. She has beat poetry? Yeah, and she plays it with her husband on a stand-up base. Yeah, we have to watch it again. No way. It's the curse of this show, but I enjoy it every time I watch it. When did she start doing that?

It was post-sex in the city. Maybe it was during. I'm not sure it was jarring. Oh, please. I read poetry and sonnets, and he plays the upright bass. Yamakipiyebo, sederefekebo, indoleatin, he quotes. Uj, saversere! No way.

Yeah, relationship goals, eh? You look like a Pizza Hut commercial. He bit all the he dogs and winked at all the she dogs. The town never knew such a hullabaloo as that little dog raised till the end of that day. They're not murdered. I hope's not. The funny thing is, is I know exactly what you're talking about when you say it's like a pizza income room.

It does have that vibe for some reason. I wonder who got the upright bass. Split it down the middle. It's all of them stuff. Now, we accept overseens, overhears, and also, if you have a really boring dream, we also accept a descriptive. Have you ever had a really boring dream? I've had a really boring dream, yeah.

What was it? That I was building a tunnel. Okay. And that was it? That was it. That was pretty boring. And it just kept getting deeper and deeper and then I couldn't find my way back out. Oh, scary.

Yeah. I was a claustrophobic. No, dream is very dreamlike. Yeah. You know, we're talking really boring. This one will just get right to the core of it. Whitney R. comes out of us with, I had a dream.

A friend and I were going through different bags of dried beans. deciding which one I should use for chili. Eventually decided on one and I started soaking them in water to cook. I woke up before I made the chili. That's not bad. I mean, it's certainly a dream that could inspire you to... Do you remember that listener who sent us some beans? Yes.

Yeah, all the different types of beans. Have you eaten them? I don't know if I have or not. Beans last forever. Well, that's the thing is they're dried and I don't plan it far enough ahead to soak them. Soak the beans. Oh, yeah. I'm a canned bean.

Yeah, me too. You do, are you a chili man? I'm a chili man, yes. Do you soak a bean or do you use canned? No, canned. I'm not soaking shit. Yeah. Speaking of Wendy's, they're a chili, chilly people.

They got chili and also. Their chili's good. Yeah. Are they baked potatoes good? I don't feel like I've ever had one. Have you ever had a bad baked potato? Like, how do you fuck that up? I feel like baked potatoes all about the topping.

Yeah, exactly. But do they get good toppings? Of course they do. They've got the most incredible toppings. Oh, how did it last time I mean it's? I get a big table from Wendy's. I go every day. This next one comes from Dan from Calgary.

Went to Ernest Manning High School. Oh, I've never heard of that one, have I? No, I don't think so. I was playing with my kid at the library where they happened to have a full-size fire truck to play on. Whoa. As we're waiting in line, I overheard a 10. or 12-year-old say to his friends, hey, guys, this button says crisis on it.

You know, like Jesus Crisis. His friends didn't react, so he said it again with the exact same phrasing, but both times were met with silence. Oh, that's cheeky. That's cheeky. He's trying to make a joke. It's not landing.

Is he not, is he trying to make a joke? Or is he not know? Jesus. Crisis. Yeah. But does he... Maybe he doesn't know. Yeah. Also, what does the button

that says Crisis do on the... I mean, you know you're in bad trouble when somebody's pressed the crisis platform on the fire truck. Yeah, the fire truck. I think the lights go off. Wouldn't siren do that? Oh. Or lights.

Yeah, you're right. What? Yeah. On this next or last one comes from Amy and Seattle. This is actually an overheard from the Calgary Airport. Woo! On a layover from visiting my folks in Saskatchewan. A woman was on the phone and I think was talking about a wedding.

Or maybe I'm making that up. She said, shout out to my brother for making him and his wife and his dog, King, queen, and Joker. Nice. That's pretty good. Any wedding where there's a dog involved. Yeah. Cute.

You know, ring bearer or you share the first bite of cake with it. Literally just ring bearer. Performs the ceremony. We did, when I got married, my old dog, Grandpa. Nice name. Thank you. We weren't allowed dogs at the venue. Right.

We brought them. Yeah. He made a cameo. He couldn't stay. But he did wear a little bowtie. I like that he, like I got to go. I can't stay. I'd love to stay. I got another gig across town.

He left on his own. Never saw him again. In addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls and your voice memos. Send us a voice memo at SPY at maximum fun.org. Or call us, leave a voicemail at 1.844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh, SpyPod 1 like these people have. Hey Dave, Graeme and lovely guest.

This is Ken from Dublin calling in with a boring dream. So I was at my local library, and I saw that they had this little ad for a new service they were offering. And that service was that you could get something laminated for free if you wanted. For no extra charge. I don't know if that was unlimited lamination. or you can only get like one or two or whatever, but pretty good. That's really good.

Yeah, that's it. Off I go. If you saw an ad, like saying that you could have something laminated, you'd go, right? You'd send... I'd laminate the ad. You'd bring the ad to them and laminate this?

I'd know what they'd think. Now people can't tear off the little papers. You've laminated it. Yeah, I'd bring it back. When I was a kid, kid one time I was allowed to use the lamination machine and it was in the library. And why only one time?

Exactly. You're not allowed to do just whatever you want with the lamination machine. I've never used it. It's pretty hard. Yeah. But it's so satisfied. Yeah.

I laminated more than I was allowed to. Okay. Couldn't be trusted. Still to this day, don't let me near a lamination machine. I've never laminated anything, but I have covered a lot of things with packing tape. Clear packing. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. And just like, you know, it's poor man's lamination. Yeah, I had a friend who had a friend who had a laminar that would make fake ideas. Oh,

that's good. Two different friends. Remember when, yeah, can they do fake IDs anymore? They still do. Yeah. How?

I guess you have to have that printer that prints on a plastic. Yeah. Because it used to be a, like, laminated piece of paper with your picture on it and like, typed? information? No, I mean, they still, I don't know. I know that like... Well, they have the hologram on it and everything. Wow. Now, do they take, because I know with

passports, if you steal a passport, you can take out the ID part and put somebody else's in and stitch it back up. I wonder if that's the same with drivers. Well, the new passports, the picture page is a different material. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's slick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. All right. Here's a next phone call. Yeah. Hey, David and Graham, this is Billy from the Albany, New York area. I am calling in an overheard. I was hanging out in a living room with my three-year-old daughter,

and she still needs help going to the bathroom, and she said, Daddy, I have to pee. And I said, oh, her mother had just finished taking a shower. So I said, Mommy just finished taking a shower, head in the bathroom, and she can help you. So she went in there and then what I overheard was my daughter saying, Mama, I really like your nipples. My wife, you know, said thank you or, you know, whatever.

And then my daughter said, they look like hamburgers. I don't know what that means, but it was pretty damn fun. I know what I mean. I'm picturing in my head. I know what that means. Yeah. And I'm like wimpy. Wooee.

I love those hamburgers. Space cookies. My favorite size. Oh man, Mom, your nipples, they look like a pizza hot commercial. I can't put my finger on. Yeah,

it's, huh, trying to think of like, you know, I'm sure that I've seen some nipples that I would compliment, but geez, when was the last,

you know? What food could you compare them to? I mean, Percy's cookies. Nipples? Yeah. Oh, boy. brand muffins?

I guess, yeah, brand muffins, yeah. An avocado, sure, you know? Yeah.

Avocado that you've cut in half, that could look like, kind of like, you guys, we all know what nibbles are, right? I definitely know what they are. Yeah.

They're shaped like an avocado, right? Yeah. What do you, Salvador dolly? You freak. That would be a good painting. All right,

here we go. Final one. Hey, guys, it's Jeffrey in Brooklyn. So I was just at Costco, and I overheard this grandpa talking to, it'd be like a five or six-year-old grandkid. And he said, it's like Yoda says, thou shalt not try. Thou shalt do.

I'm sorry. It just found it very funny that he had biblical Yoda paraphrasing. All right. The end. I like the book of Yoda. That's my favorite in the Bible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, first Mandalorians is a...

This guy came loaded for bare. Yeah. This guy's got his freaking cling on Bible over here. Wrong, wrong thing. Yeah, wrong thing. You should know from Chi J.J.J.J.J.R. Pigs. Yeah. What else could it be a Bible book?

A letter to the Ewox. Sure. Revelation, but the Death Star, Jedi Revolution. Revelation Jackstation. There you go. Yeah. Sure. And space Deuteronomy.

Well, that brings us to the end of the episode. Dave, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you for having me. You have my all-time favorite Instagram handle. Oh, no. Which is? Dink so small. I see you can see, David, at Dink So Small.

My favorite size. Sorry, yes. And also, also, where can people find what you do online or where can they find to see you in person? Online, I have a beer review with a buddy vine on YouTube called Beer Me. So you like, you get a new beer each week. We review beer each weekend, and we have to drink six of them in an hour. What, each?

Yeah. Man. What's your fave? Oh, my favorite beer? I don't try it in new beers anymore. My favorite beer is Coors' banquet, but they don't sell it here anymore. Oh, yeah, the beige ones. Yeah.

They sell, like, Coors' original? Yeah, it's not. They sold the recipe to Molson. So it's technically just Molson Canadian with the Coors label. Really? Yeah. It's a sham. Yeah, because that Coors' Banquet.

Yeah, that's a good beer. That was good beer. Yeah. Yeah. Where can you get it now? Is it still the States? Only in the States, yeah. They used to import it here, but I guess they didn't be money off.

I don't know. Tariffs. So you got to get yourself a Canadian favorite beard. Bastards. But yeah, check that out. I like something. I like something. I like something.

Yeah, it's bad. Oh, I like it really hoppy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skunky. Oh, no, we don't say that. We relate it to, like, stupid things. Like what? Like, it tastes like a burnt track suit.

Like that. What beer is that? I shouldn't. say this because these people got mad at us. Oh, okay. We don't want them coming after us. It was Fuggles and Warlock. It was a strawberry wet beer.

Oh, that's, all of it sounds like. It was very artificial. My friends that it tastes like someone pissed on a burnt track suit and then you drank and put it in a blender and drank it. See, at first it was just a burnt track suit, but then the piss was that. We had to get a blender. Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you so much for being here, I guess.

Oh, thank you. Yeah, it was great. Thank you, everybody out there. You know what? if you find a new favorite drink, drink six of the minute an hour, ten of them in an hour. Don't do that. You do as much as you want. Yeah. And come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself.

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