Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 97 - Steve Bays

Episode Date: January 19, 2010

Steve Bays of Hot Hot Heat joins us to talk gambling, box office flops, and Sex Rehab.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 97 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is the man who came up with the slightly less impressive I'm with Coco slogan was the I'm with Car Car slogan for Carson Daly. Oh no.

Was that you? I thought you meant Car Car Binks. Mr. Dave Shumka, how's it going? I. Oh, no. Was that you? I thought you meant Car-Car Binks. Mr. Dave Shumka. How's it going? I'm good, thanks. Did we ever... We haven't talked about Jay Leno and Conan, and I don't like the nickname Coco.

No? No. Why not? So you're not with Coco. I'm with him as a person. But I've never in my life called him Coco. I think that's new. I think somebody came up with it, and then everybody's just been rolling with it.

But regardless, you've always been a Carson Daly man. Yeah, yeah. I'm with Car Car. I'm with... What did he host? TRL? Yeah. And the late shift, last call.

Last call, is that what it was called? Yeah. And joining us today on episode number 97, a gentleman who's a well-known figure here in Vancouver and across the country and abroad. He's a member of the band Hot Hot Heat. And he is here with us today, Mr. Steve Bays. Thanks for coming. I'm not abroad. Yeah, I was going to say something.

My voice is on the fence. Imagine if I called ladies broads. You think I could get away with that? Is that not cool? In this day and age? I don't think I could get away with that. I think they want equal treatment, and that means calling them a broad. And I call guys bruisers?

Yeah. Good evening, broads and bruisers. Yeah, you get into fisticuffs. I'm not privy to the cocoa. Oh, really? What is that it's a well let's get to know us get to know us look i'm with coco was a is a slogan for uh like you you're a fan of conan o'brien in the whole late night wars thing so coco i just i just read about the uh cancellation yeah That's crazy.

It's insane. It's really crazy. Have you been living under a rock? Well, I live under a rock of music, sure. In which case, I'm in like a submarine for... I'll just

do music for like three days straight and then i'll wake up like really pink faced and frail and really and uh and then i'll just lie in bed for like a day and you give yourselves three days grace and you live three doors down in a puddle of mud yeah god damn you guys are professionals I'm like I can feel my cogs turning and meanwhile you've like

taken what I'm thinking and like riffed on it and perfected it that's why we get to record our podcast in this golden suite of the Shangri-La for people listening at home that aren't aware of it get to record our podcast in this golden suite of the Shangri-La. Sure. For people listening at home that

aren't aware of it, we are the room where The Hangover was shot. That's essentially where we are. Except not everything is destroyed. But there is a tiger. Yeah, there's a tiger, but he's caged. And well-behaved.

And Mike Tyson is very... He's friends with us. He's also caged and well behaved and mike tyson is very uh he's friends with he's also caged i'm obsessively turning the uh shades up and down with the remote control and you can do that because if you break them they'll just replace them right that's the great thing about the shangri-la have you been to las vegas before i have yeah well do you enjoy it have you been grand i have been yeah long long time ago. I can still remember. I went there for my friend's bachelor party, and then we lost him. Oh, wait.

Like the movies. I've been there many a time, and the last time I went, I ran into my uncle's brother, older gentleman, good guy, respectable, and he told me about the doubling down. Your uncle's brother? Your dad? I feel like this is a riddle. That's my nickname for my dad. It's based on some deep, dark issues.

Anyway, he told me about the doubling down thing where in blackjack, you put down $10. If you win, you make $10. Awesome. You're stoked. You take off. Just party all night.

You buy yourself a pizza. buy like 36 pbrs and just hang out in a parking lot by yourself um or if you lose then you you bet 20 right and then if you win that then you you you make a profit and you earn back your loss oh it's like double or nothing yeah yeah and so you just keep doing that and so if you lose 20 then you bet 40 and then eventually odds are you're gonna win a hand and make all your money back so it's kind of a win-win scenario right right right i did that that's your system and and i i played blackjack a lot and uh the one time i tried that odds were that i just it went horribly wrong yeah i got up to like 360 or 320 dollars and i had to basically go to and i had to like borrow money or go to an atm to bet like 600 something dollars it was just like that's how they win is they reach that point where you can't double down

right yeah and i felt like philip seymour hoffman instead i went and just huffed glue philip seymour hoffman's very successful actually um i never when i even at the local casinos i've only played slots i'm too afraid of the ringers of the the pros the ringers the rounders the people who wear the sunglasses indoors yeah the people who wear the sunglasses with the reptile eyes on the outside with the 3d reptile eyes yeah yeah um i uh yeah i don't uh like card games and stuff like that i'm really bad at. Roulette is pretty simple. Like, you don't actually, you just have to place things on a board. But how do they know those are your chips?

Is someone keeping track of that? Yeah. Does someone have snake eyes? Yeah. Yeah. They, yeah, the dealer keeps track of whose chips are whose, whose chips ahoyed. The croupier. Yeah, exactly.

The croupier. Is that a thing? That was a Clive Owen movie. He had bleach blonde hair. It's also sexier, I think, the roulette table. Yeah. You can have a tasty treat on your arm, like a broad. And you can be in a tux and roll up and just...

She won't know what you're betting whereas if you're at a blackjack and it's the five like five to twenty five dollar table you know you're at that table oh whereas roulette you could theoretically most of the time bet a large amount right oh fair enough yeah yeah well the thing too like what uh money level do you get the woman on your arm? Like, they have those at the casino, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They just roll them out.

Or ladies. You want a lady if you're in the upper deck. Only if you're having luck. I think it's... Luck's in ladies. Penny to nickel slot. You don't get that? You don't get...

You get a sad clown that just breathes on your neck. What's Craps? Craps is a dice game. Is it basically just dice? It's based on the life of Andrew Dice. You're the dice man. And what else is there? What's Baccarat?

I don't know what Baccarat is, actually. The singer? Yeah, Baccarat. More of a songwriter. There's Baccarat is, actually. The singer? Yeah, Baccarat. More of a songwriter. There's Baccarat. There's craps. There's, well, Pinochle isn't a game that you play in a casino, though. That's like a back alley card game.

Yeah, you're thinking of like Uno. You guys are, like you're Vegas. There's the Uno table. Is there Candyland? That's cute. Ping pong. Beer pong. I won like three grand at mousetrap

but then i fell down a ladder ski ball they got that you fall down a snake you go up a ladder yeah shoots um uh yeah i don't uh like when you were in vegas were you there was that recreationally or were you playing a show there all right, right, you're a professional musician. He's a professional musician. Let's learn about this world. We were traveling. Actually, the first time we did Vegas, actually, I don't even want to tell this story, but... Too late now.

No, no, no. Can't change it up. But we've been there many a time, and I'll tell you about the last time I was there, because it's embarrassing, and therefore I will tell you. All right. There was there because it's embarrassing and therefore I will tell you. There was a band from Vancouver that happened to be there. I was going to say Doug and the Slugs. They're actually from Victoria.

Oh really? Aren't they? They played the Oak Bay Rec Center a lot. Doug is dead. Doug is no longer with us. Really? It's just the Slugs? Or whoever fronts it now. No, they're making it work. Maybe it's Terry and the Slugs.

Yeah, it could be anything. Yeah, they replaced him with Terrence Trent Darby. Anyway, so I was there on tour with Doug and the Slugs. But this other band was playing. It was the last night of a tour. And my friend who worked for a clothing company from uh vancouver actually quite a well-known this is very cryptic yeah yeah quite a well-known company well i can't what's yeah what's the local uh company not hot

topic the uh bang bang on bang on yeah He was their Las Vegas rep. Okay. And he was so excited that we were going to be in Vegas the same night he was there. Because it was for their fashion week or whatever they have in Vegas. Vegas Fashion Week. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Where people go and they sell shit.

Fat guys in polo shirts. People trying to make money. People in gold lame jackets. Tommy Bahamas there. And he was in gold lame. And he was just so excited that we were going to be there at the same and i sensed his enthusiasm was just a little too much right um and so long story short he got just ridiculously drunk really early on in the night and uh and he coerced me to join him in this endeavor and uh it was the last night of our tour so it didn't really matter to me but he ended up losing his job he like woke up we woke

up we were in the suite it was kind of like the hangover but more like the real version of it right there's just like a couple pizza boxes and everything's askew and yeah like your t-shirt is on the floor and you didn't actually put it over a chair. So he ended up losing his job. But apparently the night before, I got up on stage with the band and just grabbed a mic and just freestyle sang. With the other band? With this band that was from Vancouver. Doug and the Slugs. I loosely knew Doug and the Slugs.

D and the G. D and the S. D and the knew doug and the slugs um d and the g d and the d and the g one in the slug one in the same one of the dug and two in the slugs everybody knows it and uh apparently i just got up and freestyle sang with them for their whole were you the opener or the no we weren't playing with them oh this was like at an after party was that uh it was it was outdoors at the beauty bar and there was all these lights and there was a big crowd of like you know like the hip the hip kind of contingent csi i was this my buddy who was just determined to lose his job of five years was just pulled me in with him. Wow. So like, was this, he was just going to go out, he was flaming out, basically?

He was going out in style? Yeah. And ever since, it's been a weird rocky path for him, but it's, you know, all the power to him. Yeah, yeah. Sure. weird rocky path for him, but it's all the power to him. Yeah, sure. If you work at a company for five years,

how do you get a reference letter out of a big flame out? I don't know. You don't. It's really weird. But the first time this Carlsberg is kicking in. The first time we played a place called the Java Joint in Vegas. And the killers opened for us

at this coffee shop wow uh and then the last time locals yeah they were locals and the last time we were there i'm like jumping on stage with like an unknown band like just improvving lyrics and uh it was really sad it doesn't sound sad. It sounds great. It sounds rad. It's a roller coaster. It sounds rad, actually.

You're right. It sounds amazing. It's only because you were there and you know the actuality of it, but you could really upsell that story. I could. It's an intense shame over, though. So do you travel? Is that most of the time you spend traveling or is it most of the time spent in recording or a half half uh we're we're about to do a bunch of traveling we're

doing like a europe kind of thing and uh oh we'll get used to the carlsberg yeah flows like out of taps yeah yeah i i think there's more uh quality control on the beer over there maybe over here over here you just call it bowen island and it's like oh it's a craft beer yeah yeah yeah just oh it's from an island oh okay it's not gonna make me super hungover from two beers nope it does um so you're going to europe is that you've done that before right this is is this a little hat do you speak european um i i do like with uh i nod my head a lot and uh i just flash a lot of american bling

american bling different than our own um it's yeah yeah it's uh i clean it but uh we're yeah we're starting to do that i we've taken like years like the last two years off so i could build like a recording studio which is kind of my lifelong dream and i've just been recording bands pretty much like just my friends bands and stuff but that's great i did a record for us and I've got a side project on the go. All sorts of crap. It's Doug and the Slugs-esque. But it's kind of like Doug and the Slugs meets Arrested Development if they were still together. Sure.

The TV show, not the band. You've seen Creed Shreds on YouTube, I'm sure. What? Creed Shreds. No I'm sure. What? Creed Shreds? No. Please have it be Creed related. It's Creed related. It's just this movement where

people take live clips of a band and they re-record the audio but do it very accurately to the footage. It's extremely convincing. Is it Saint Sanders? Is that the guy's name is it one guy maybe i don't know yeah but yeah i've seen these it's it's like literally funny you could do it in here it's more about the attention to detail like so when they flash to the drummer

they're all of a sudden there's like a horrible drum fill oh is that like uh like when you would see like a performance by like miley cyrus on the today show and it sounds terrible oh is that like uh like when you would see like a performance by like miley cyrus on the today show and it sounds terrible no is that that's not what he's doing that's that's what i'm talking about where there's somebody has they they're like they say it's like this is what the thing sounded like without the auto-tune filter that would be nice actually i would like to see that yeah i've seen there was a beyon to see that there was a Beyonce one and there was a Britney Spears one and there was a Miley Cyrus one

and it just sounds like a crazy person yelling into a microphone that topic fascinates me because there's Taylor Swift she is quite outspoken about the fact that she doesn't use autotune.

When you see her, it's literally like it's like a perfect sine wave of audio. When she sings, it's like My name is Taylor. All of a sudden someone grabs it and just tunes it. It sounds like a synthesizer.

She's got the T-Pain app on her phone. At least T-Pain owns up to it. It sounds like a synthesizer. She's got the T-Pain app on her phone. At least T-Pain owns up to it. Does he? I think he's robotic. He's robotically perfect. I have perfect pitch. I'm T-Pain. That's great. You're doing some Taylor Swift covers? Is that what you were getting at? so that's great and so you're just doing you're doing some Taylor Swift covers

is that what you were getting at my goal is to eventually have Taylor Swift in my studio and so I'm starting by I just spent the last three weeks working on a song called Puke Rock for a local band Fake Shark Real Zombie

I recorded a record for the local band called The Shilohs. Not as good a name. Yeah. That's the thing is there's also bands called Shiloh. Whenever I say, oh, I did an album for The Shilohs, they're like, oh, yeah, I know them. I'm like, are you thinking of Shiloh, which is a girl pop? Yeah, the little punk.

Right. Not doing that. Well, why not? I've tried. There's also a band from the Midwest of the States called The Shilohs. And I've posted clips of them on their MySpace page so that they would get the hint. And it's this horrible, like, just redneck kind of. Why is Shiloh such? It's not like there's, like, The Countneck kind of... Why is Shiloh such...

It's not like there's, like, The Counting Crows and Counting Crow. Right, right. The Counting Crow. There's a few of those. Bush and Bush Axe. Yeah. But Shiloh, that's just a name that you would have. Isn't that, like, a person's name?

Yeah. You know, like Travis or Gene. Or Doug. Or James. Like, there's no bands Travis or Gene. Or Doug. There's no bands called Doug or the Dugs. Yet, no. Because that's marketing at work. Doug and the Slugs tested better. Yeah, if you have a rhyme, you're going to win people over.

Yeah, when was the last time there was a really big band that had a rhyme in the name of the band? Oh, probably recently. Yeah, I can't think of any. Miley Cyrus. That's not a thing. Well, we don't. Yeah, well, we'll get back to that.

We'll go through my iTunes and figure it out. Actually, I had this issue, though, with the the thing. I've been working on a side project called it's been called electric indian and uh pretty good it's it was just kind of like you know there's a name let's go with it and somebody made a video for it i wasn't there for it they put it up you know just kind of one of those the way things are now you don't really think of it officially you just do it and it it just trickles out and if people give a shit then cool yeah yeah anyway so somebody made a video for it they put it out people liked it i was stoked and then uh turns

out there's a band called the electric indian from the 60s um and so i was like i don't know and then neon indian came out and then that and then all of a sudden people i was like told them the name of this project and they're like like, oh, like Neon Indian. I'm like, yeah, thanks. It goes in cycles, doesn't it? Right, and then Indian became the new Wolf. Right, they were all Wolf bands. Which went on to become Deer, then Owl, then...

I'm guessing with Twilight, it'll be Vampires. Vampires. Well, Vampires had their day, band name wise, didn't they? Yeah. Drack and the... Drack and the Sax. Sure. That was the last rhyming band.

It was an all saxophone band. Yakety Drax. Yakety Drax. Pretty good. Dave, what's going on with you? Well, I've also been leading a very exciting rock star lifestyle um by contrast hey you know how when we uh you and i i don't think we ever talk like this on the show but we have um a thing we do where we sort of talk to each other like we're

space aliens yeah uh vague in very vague terms yeah whenever we measure something we just use the word earth for example how much did that cost 10 earth dollars yeah dave i brought you a six pack of earth beers of what you would call what your earth beer what you would call earth beer and this has has kind of become entrenched in my brain. And I just thought it was really funny the other day. I was getting out of the shower. And I slipped a bit. And I caught myself.

Good. But I had a little twinge. Yeah. And I said to myself, ooh, my earth groin. I said to myself, ooh, my earth growing. So that's what's been going on with me. See, that's the thing. When you get your guests, you say, oh, what's going on with you?

And they're like, oh, this is my real life plans. Yeah. Attending university or what have you. And then it's your turn. And it's so, it's like this, like, oh, I bought a new pencil today. Why did you go into elaborate detail about real life, you douche? And I was like, I'm not going to fall into their trap. They're going to ask me real questions. I think you're projecting steve um uh also we do a show every week yeah that's true so you try coming up with something every week yeah no

you do you do a great job uh that's actually my favorite part of the show it's kind of like the first 10 minutes of intervention are the best 10 minutes oh see we were talking about intervention because i've never really... No, not Intervention. What's the one that... Hoarders? Oh, we were... No, you were talking about Hoarders. And so I won't admit that I dabbled with watching it until you...

I watched one episode of Hoarders, and I've watched one episode of The Dr. Drew when it had the guy from Taxi on it. Oh, Jeff Conway. Yeah, because that was... I just wanted to keep tabs. I keep tabs on all of the cast of Taxi. Sure. What they're up to now. How's the Tony

Danza show doing? It went online. Is it online now? He does an online... Oh, wait, that's Tom Green. Oh, wait, that's us. Tom Green had, yeah, he had like an online show. He still has an online show.

Oh, really? He gave out his phone number so people would call in. And it was his personal phone number. And I have it, but I've never called it. But you know what? If you call it, yeah, he'll still answer it. Wow. I don't think he answers it all the time.

Do you want to call it during the show? Yeah. Say hello to Tom Green. Then we can say this episode with Steve Bays and Tom Green. Great, sure, yeah. It'll sound like a good answer. Can we add Mike Shank from American Movie? Yeah.

Because he gave out his number at some point. I don't know what it is. I have it in my phone. I call it about maybe once every two months. I'm like, maybe today's the day he picks up. Oh, wow. And has he ever? Never has. Voicemail?

Answer machine, yeah. Okay, so it is his number. Yeah. Okay, so we should do this later. Are we on board? I had a Paris Hilton phone number at one point, but it is now cancelled. I imagine. For the record, I will say, I always like the point in the show. I'm like, who cares about the guests? I want to hear

what's going on yeah i want to hear about what groin did you pull yeah what what type of groin did you yeah what sort of teddy bear is grandpa preferring to hum yeah it's it's a horsey yeah okay um now but what what did you want to say about dr drew yeah dr drew yeah yeah well because he's doing a sex one. Like for sex addicts. Is it a celebrity sex rehab? Yeah. Well, pseudo. I didn't know any of the celebrities. Were any of them in Color Me Bad?

98 Degrees. What's the rock band the guy was in? Was it Skid Row? It was Skid Row, but the thing is I've never seen that guy before. He was the biggest celebrity hook. He's the one guy that you're like. And you're a total sex addict.

Yeah. I mean, I know sex addicts inside and out. And he's low. Mostly inside. He's only slept with, like, 3,000 chicks. And then there's, like, but then there's, like, there's this weird divide on that show. And I've only seen half of one episode. But it seems that there's a guy like the guy from Skid Row.

Who was a guy who was in an industry where there happened to be access to a lot of sex. And then the other half of the group are people that have sex for a living. And I'm like, well, that doesn't seem to fall in the... You're just a workaholic yeah yeah you can't leave your work at the office but yeah the uh so those aren't two those aren't the same people right yeah i the thing the thing with the the rock guy it's too it's always like an la rock guy like i notice whenever we go to los angeles there's guys walking around and like when you walk down melrose uh strip for example all the shops have

guitars in the window like like even if they're not guitar shops right yeah every every store has a guitar sure it's all it's and then you walk in and it's like t-shirts with like barbed wire and like Celtic tattoos. But just if you don't want to commit and get it on your... There's a very... It's like a Bonaduce lifestyle. Right, right. It's extremely Bonaduce-esque. We thought maybe before you arrived, you were one or two minutes late arriving.

And we saw someone driving by in a Harley Davidson on a Harley Davidson. I hope it's Steve. That would have been so great. And then I rolled up and actually I had to park my Harley down the street and I rollerbladed up. And you notice just a quick glimpse

of a Celtic tattoo and a barbed wire on the other calf. And I had a guitar with me, but it wasn't in a case. I just randomly had a Les Paul that I was walking down the street with. Is that in LA? That's what it's like in LA. Everyone has perfect hair. And it's black and usually bleach combo.

Nice. Oh, slick oh low light and ivory they'll have like their name shaved into their eyebrow shane i had my name shaved in it's all hyphens actually still do oh yeah i remember looking through you know sometimes like if you're on like facebook or something and like you look at a picture that a friend of yours is in like it's posted and it's like you know uh dave has been tagged in this photo and then you end up going through the photo albums of the person who took that photo and then some other person and then before you know it you're like six or seven people away from I ended up going through an entire photo album

that was called Watch Out Hollywood oh wow who were your friends? it was like literally six friends away was it Kevin Bacon? Kevin? but yeah it was that exact kind of layout.

Like the all-leather outfits on like a plus, I'm sure, 20 day. It literally gives such a bad name for rock musicians. Because most musicians I know just look like garbage. They're wearing like... Butch Vig, Shirley Manson. I'm only friends with people that were big in the early 90s, actually. But yeah, like, anyway. But I will say this about you.

I lurked your guys' pages a little bit. It led me to your new blog. Right. Oh, KidCasting. Big, big fan of the concept. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently, thank you, by the way.

Yeah. I don't know if I described it well enough. It's, yeah, I was, I recently, this afternoon, did an interview. Interview? I was a guest on another podcast via Skype. Ooh. And I, yeah, I talked about it. And apparently, from two sources, I've heard that my blog was mentioned in Entertainment Weekly.

Wow. What? After being in existence for two weeks. EW's right on it. They always have been. You know, they had Avatar in there. Yep. Also.

You were the new Avatar. I think we had about the same amount of words on us. Yeah. Is that an expression? Words on us. Can I ask you about Avatar? Sure. Why didn't I like it?

Oh, you didn't? Yeah. Did you like it? Well, the second time I saw it. Okay. Dot, dot, Yeah. Did you like it? Well, the second time I saw it. Okay. Dot, dot, dot. Did you see it in IMAX ever? Second time, yeah.

Oh, was it amazing? You know what? I liked it better not in IMAX. You're the first person I've ever heard to say that. Yeah, and I'll tell you why. It was a little bit jagged. It was a bit jittery in IMAX. I felt like it couldn't keep up.

Interlaced. Yeah, something like that. little bit jagged it was a bit jittery in imax i felt like it couldn't keep up interlaced yeah something like that there was something going on where it was like when it panned it was stuttery so it was more seizure inducing than the maybe you know what maybe it was because i was close but i remember like the first five seconds i was thinking like i could have a seizure like i was i was really up close um oh did you have a question about Avatar, sir? I just was curious what you would have to say about it. Oh, I thought it was a child's movie for children.

Right. I was, you know, something you have to see. Have you heard about these people? There's, I guess, a phenomenon in the States where people watched Avatar and became so depressed. Suicidal. Yeah, because they couldn't live in Pandora with the Avatars. Spoiler alert, if you haven't seen Avatar,

don't listen to this next part, but even if you were watching the movie... Is this a Charlie Demers bit? No, yeah, there were a lot of spoilers in the parking lot. No, if you were in the theater and you were in the theater and you were like, I wish I could go to Pandora,

then you didn't watch the movie to the end because all humans got the boot at the end of Avatar. They're not... So even if Pandora existed... Even if it existed, you still couldn't go there because

they would kick you out. even if it existed you still couldn't go there because um yeah you'd have to wear it yeah you would have to wear a an avatar body yeah and b is a tank top that's because miss weaver is self-conscious about her avatar body she's got uh dumps like an avatar. Yeah. How did it make so much money so fast? Because everybody went and saw it. Is it more expensive? I think it deserves that title more than Dark Knight did. Which one?

The Batman Dark Knight as opposed to the Dice Clay Dark Knight. What title? Oh, sorry. The most amount of money given to the movie. Well, Titanic is the number one all time. But Avatar in a month has become number two. But adjusted for inflation, they still say that Gone with the Wind is... Really?

Yeah, because there were no TVs. So everybody would just go to... Like everybody in America went to Gone with the Wind. But would they download it? Yeah, because there were no TVs, so everybody would just go to... Everybody in America went and saw Wild 3. But would they download it? Yeah, but back then... Because it's that steampunk thing, right? That's how they downloaded it. And there was no

system... You had to pay. There was no free... They include the price of coal. Yeah, you had a government ticket to download it. What would be the most amount of money lost? What film lost the most? There was one movie that they... There's a few.

Ishtar is up there. For most money lost. Willow. Willow, really? Okay, I could be wrong. Willow? Well, maybe. It's entirely possible.

There's Town and Country. Waterworld. Waterworld. Yeah, classic. I think Waterworld actually was the most expensive, but it didn't lose much money. What about The Postman? And then there was... What was it?

It was like an Eddie Murphy... Oh, Norbit. No, space movie. Norbit. No, space movie. Norbit. No. You're thinking of Orbit. Yeah, you're right. I'm thinking of the word.

Not, it's called Pluto Nash. Pluto Nash, yes. I think that might be it. I've never even heard of that movie. Yeah, he plays a bartender in space. Yeah. It was a meteor man for our generation. Somebody posted this last week or something.

It was a movie, and I can't remember who it starred, but it's total box office revenue because you have to open at least one theater in order to count towards, and it had the lowest box office revenue of 2009 because it made $14. Wow. So it was open for one weekend.

So one person went to see it at one theater. It would be in the States, so the ticket prices are a bit lower in the States. Yeah, I think if two people went to matinees, the filmmaker and his wife

or husband, if it's... Right. Sure. That would explain the limited appeal. There was one in the late 80s, early 90s that I think made $12. And it starred Corbin Bernson and Shelley Long. The Money Pit 2.

Get me out of here. It was called Frozen Assets, and it was all about freezing sperm. Get me out of here. It was called Frozen Assets, and it was all about freezing sperm. And what's the movie? The movie with the lowest budget to highest gross ratio is still The Blair Witch Project. Oh, yeah. Not Paranormal Activity? I thought it was Paranormal.

I went to go see that based on that stat. Oh, really? I thought that's what it was. Did you see it? Yeah, I saw it. I never saw it. I thought it's what it was. Did you see it? I never saw it. I thought it was scary. I like a good scare. I thought it was really good. I enjoyed it, but then some people thought it was so dumb.

The ending was really good. Don't even kick everybody out. Spoiler alert. It's a spoiler if you even mention that the movie has an ending or if you mention that it was directed by m night shamalan um yeah okay okay guys let's move on simmer it okay dr simmer down boys uh graham what's been going on with you Well, last night I got to open the show for Dave Attell.

That was nice. I knew about that. I haven't heard your stories. There weren't really any. He's a really super nice guy and super duper professional. I don't know why they had him performing necessarily at the commodore the commodore is a rock club yeah you've played the commodore you know i hate i hate when you hear about someone successful and the story is they were such professionals it's like oh great that's

what i have to look forward to i if i want to be successful i have to be professional i want to hear he just he was a mess that's why i like you know like about Pete Doherty and stuff. Like, yeah, he just did tons of drugs. And he was like hanging out with Kate Moss. He's just a genius. It's like, okay, so I can just party more and there's a chance. But you're saying he was a total sex addict. You kind of led me to believe, when you told your tracy morgan story that he was just like nuts well he's he was he was more tracy morgan was like uh he was more in the show up and i'll just

be a genius type category right because like that's he even said he's like that's how he works he just will go on stage and then whatever and but this you know like yeah david tell knew what he wanted to do the crowd was very rowdy but they were like good were there seats yeah there were seats and also people standing and at one point somebody came up to the stage and he got his picture taken with them and that led to an a gigantic line of people wanting it. And I think he was like, it would be natural to assume that only one person would do it, and then everybody would be like, well, he's not going to want everybody else. It would be natural to assume that, but everyone in this day and age wants that on their Facebook.

Yeah. But after the show, he went out. Their LinkedIn. Or their ICQ. And met everybody. Sure. Uh-oh. And so that was great.

But the only downside for me was that the night before, I got horrible, horrible food poisoning. And so I'm still dealing with it today. That's why I'm drinking Soty Pops while you guys are drinking Elky Hulz. While you're drinking ginger ale. I was actually surprised because I know you have a penchant is that a word an affinity an affinity yeah you have an epiphany for uh the yeast based yeah uh yeah i like the hops yeah yeah that's i wrote that song let's all do the hops do we know the difference between beers Like what has hops and what has yeast and what has wheat?

Are you talking about Fendoumand? No, I'm talking about... Is Fendoumand the gluten-free? No, that's La Mersegere. The Quebec one is Fendoumand? It's the one that all I know is it's cheap and it's 9%. Oh, that's not the one I was thinking of. It tastes like a half a bison like it has like a very like

weedy like you're sipping on a bread yeah it's like if you pummel the loaf of bread for an hour and and then it liquefied and actually was twice the alcohol you've done this no okay do you um feel full after a wheatier beer? I wonder that. Is it carbier? Because I'm trying to curb the carbs. Carb curbing. You got to.

You should start a new band called Carb Curb. Carb Curb. Kick them to the curb. Yeah. Curb your carb enthusiasm. Carb your enthusiasm. Curb your carb enthusiasm. Carb your enthusiasm.

And then, yeah, so, you know, that, so that, right? But the thing that was, Dave and I were supposed to get together on Thursday night for a bit, and then it didn't happen. And I, like, he, you texted me and said, oh, it's not going to happen. And so I texted back, that's fine. I got horrible food poisoning. To which then you wrote back, wah-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, and then I was like, oh, I see Dave has gotten more cruel than last we spoke.

But did you think I was joking? I thought, I don't get most of your jokes. So I thought, eh, this is just Graham being Graham. This is his hilarious idea of a joke. Where was it at, this show? Dave Attell? At the Commodore. Yeah, you mentioned that already.

You're going to edit this. Not that part That part's golden Thanks for the beer by the way Hey no problem it's really affecting your memory He's gonna get up on stage And freestyle Some band show tonight

Sure With the payolas Do you have ape Your recall of obscure Local Sure. And with the payolas. Do you have ape? Your recall of obscure local references are stellar. Was it Pluto? Was it Star Kicker? Oh, wow.

Dave hasn't favorited VancouverIsAwesome.com for nothing. Do we want to move on? Speaking of which i do like that i'm a fan of uh just been privy to that website recently it's great yeah i like it i'm i'm like i said before we hit record fan of the city yeah you're you're a vancouver booster i love vancouver i've i've i've tried moving to i've tried moving to different cities yeah Yeah, where did you try? I tried Toronto for a bit. I tried LA on multiple occasions for months at a time.

Yeah. But your pants weren't leather enough and your hair wasn't streaked enough. Sure. And I didn't enjoy spending minimum three hours a day in my rented Toyota Corolla. Right. Ooh. A little insight there for you.

Yeah. To my lifestyle. Fans at home. You could have a rock and roll fantasy life if you just rent a Toyota Corolla. Yeah. Is that bigger than a Camry? I don't know. I've never bought a car, and I've had a steady stream of hand-me-downs from my dad.

All right. Oh, nice. Most recent one is Maxima. Nissan? Is that a Nissan? I believe so, yeah. What's on the middle of the horn? You know what? I don't

really honk very often. I don't think about things like that Dave. I'm not such a label whore like you. But we're very big fans of the Vancouver is Awesome website. Yes. I actually donated to them when they had a pledge drive

in December. Nice. And if you donated to them, you got entered into a draw. And I think they had a lot less donations than they had been expecting. And I won something, and it was a huge prize pack. Wow. Yeah.

You donated like $5, and you got like a PS3. Not quite, but yeah. Yeah, you did all right. Probably I won back more than I donated. Well, that's what everybody hopes for. I should have just said, yep, fine. Whenever they donate to the Red Cross, they hope to get it back. Then if there's a disaster in your area, you get triple blankets

because they've got you in the roll call. If you donate to Wyclef's organization, you get triple Fugees. I was going to try and say something about gone until November, but I couldn't. Let's get off of this topic. Overheard? Yeah. Overheard. Overheard.

If you're out in public and you're not burdened by headphones or deafness you can probably indulge yourself. I don't know that we have a lot of deaf listeners. No but we have a lot of DEF listeners. Deaf right? Isn't that

a leopard? Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. You said what did I say? I just heard you say you need me as a translator for when jokes aren't quite well then we need you all the time but I will also do sign language as well for the actual deaf listeners

and then what the listeners don't know is when you said sign language your idea of sign language was rain falling yeah end quotes quote the rain nevermore

um alright so overheards we always like to start with the guest Steve we love to so much more pressure

okay well um than listening at home as I told you less pressure when I'm listening in the bath oh is that where you listen

I do yeah that's where we record, so it's natural. Sure, yeah. Speaking of which, can you pass me the salt? My taint isn't tingling away. Oh, come on. Okay, family. Keep it above the belt.

I had an X-rated one that I will not tell. I told you briefly, I didn't set it up, so it didn't really make sense. But the story behind the overheard i won't tell was that i lived on the ground floor i lived on the ground floor on the corner suite uh and my head was against a like half inch piece of plywood and i would hear things in the alley. And it was called Blueberry Lane in the West End, but it's actually nicknamed Crystal Corner.

Because a lot of people, I guess, like crystals? I don't know. I'm not sure. Yeah, they're into New Age healing. Healing crystals. A lot of magnetic bracelets. Dream catchers, et cetera. Anyway, so I decided I won't tell those,

because I think Abby's mom might be listening. Sure. My mom will definitely be listening. A lot of people's moms listen. One thing that was kind of an over-witness, I guess. Sure. That's a new category. Over-verb.

On New Year's Eve, I attended probably one of the best performances in the history of mankind. I was going to say in the month of December. Oh, nice. It was great. You guys have already talked about it on the podcast.

Laugh Gallery, New Year's Eve. Lisa Tobin, and the two of you, Charlie, the new gentleman, Justin is it uh andy was it andy yeah sorry he looks like a justin yeah he reminds me of a justin he's got he's kind of like a more metrosexual justin timber like yeah mormon anyway um i don't know what that sound was anyway and so i um i was hanging out in line uh during your set because you would go you would come between artists and so that was the time to get beer unfortunately no that's the way that's the way everyone you best enjoy my set yeah when waiting in line yeah

and so i was waiting in line and there was this one guy and he and he had memorable hair uh and he was and he had two beers and he was right beside like the beer line like he he decided it's like okay three dollar beers i'm just gonna sit right beside the line sure and just drink a lot and he was just howling at everything he said i was like oh this guy this awesome this guy's just loving it and the people at the back of the room you want them to be loving it anyway so fast forward about six hours later it's like 4 a.m i'm i went to a couple different parties after that as one does and um not me Not me. And I get a cab from actually right around this area to go back to the West End. It's a good $17 cab ride.

You could have stayed here. Yeah, well, next time I will. I might just stay here after the podcast. Bang on the window. Anyways, I was like about three quarters of the way through the ride. I was like, wait a second. You're that guy that was at the comedy show tonight as you driving the cab yes what and he was like trying to hide it and

then finally i broke him down and he admitted it that he was in fact there and he was the guy that i saw with two beers like double fisting oh my god i was like you are driving drunk and i totally called him out on it and he got super flustered uh and then at that right at that point he drove wow to a dead into a dead end because butte is divided by like a little park right yeah but he didn't drive into the park and no and then i was like i was like okay to get around, you're about to enter a shit storm of one-way streets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because downtown is very segregated.

It's very downtown-y. You really got to know your way around the West End. And so at that point, he was just like, all right, whatever, and drove through the park to get to my house. What? Jesus. And then I opened up my wallet, realized I didn't have any cash. I could have paid with a visa. I had two movie passes that I was given for Christmas,

Cineplex Odeon free pass. Those are great presents. I gave him one. What? I'm going to pay you this. And he said, okay. Yeah. Oh, wow.

But that is the kind of people that you guys attract to your show. Crazies. Yeah. Yeah. That was that show. The crowd was a little too crazy for me. That was like, imagine that crowd times six. And that's what was at the Commodore last night.

Oh, really? Wow. Oh, yeah. How did you do? Good. You know, well enough. I was literally, before the show, I was unable to stand because my stomach was so sore. And then I got powered through it.

Yeah, keel over comedy. Yeah, exactly. See, on the previous podcast, you mentioned that the show was, it threw you off that it was so noisy. But from my perspective, it was incredible to be, it was so easy to laugh.

You were drinking $3 beers. Well, and I also did smuggle in... Movie passes. Which I was selling for beers beers i will pay you this um i thought i thought it was an excellent i want to know what you smuggled in uh also for christmas my lady was uh my fiancee now oh uh she she smuggled in a little thing at crown royal oh um i don't consider that smuggling. There was no security.

Right, yeah. It was quite easy to smuggle. And actually, the person in front of us, they spilled their drink. And you drank it off the floor. I licked it off the floor. Got quite a buzz. No, but my buddy, Paul, was enraged. Our drummer, Paul, very tall.

Yeah. Tall Paul. Tall Paul. Oh, I get it. That's how he got the name when he was a baby. He was so pissed that their drink spilled and it just rolled backwards into his foot area. And he was just talking to me all night.

And I was like, yeah, that person's such a dick. And I was just joining him. And then my Crown Royal spilled to the person behind me and i didn't tell paul but i wasn't about to clean it up it's to be expected it's like it was like a uh show at a hockey arena but i know i know most of your fight broke up a lot of your fans from the podcast don't live in vancouver so I don't want to big up it too much, but I thought it was an awesome night. Well, I'll probably do it again.

Yeah, you should be there. And if we are coming to your city, come to see us. Dave, do you have an overheard? Why, I do. I haven't looked this over. Abby, on New Year's Day, found this, and she donated it to the show. It's a to-do list

that she found on the street. And there's about 10 items on it. I hope this isn't my to-do list. It's nine items. Nine items or less. So I'll just run through this to-do list real quick. Number one, sports junkies for shoes.

Yeah, got it. Number two, secretanta gift oh could those that could be one and two could be the same sure yeah uh number three get snowboard for from joel okay joel's got your snowboard yeah okay this is definitely grams number four wash bedding oh wait wash betting okay it'sding okay it's bedding okay it's not grams but if it was wash bedding if I was bedding on laundromat washers who would finish first

but you throw out your sheets you don't wash them number five go to Langley oh that's Langley is a suburb of Vancouver. Okay. Number six. Music download list.

All right. This is getting a lot... Write one. Do they specify what that list is? Is there a list for that list? No, they don't. They do not. But I imagine...

It's C sub list. I imagine it's... 98 degrees. Illegal. Discography. Number whatever. Get passport. That's probably really important. list i imagine 98 degrees illegal number discography number whatever get passport that's probably really important um i would put that one near the top probably uh not not after the download music yeah yeah make sure we've got all those holiday tunes

yeah also get a passport and then go to sports junkies. Okay, number eight, let's say. Give Marshall ID? Get new driver's license? Well, this sounds like... Sounds like Marshall's going to lose your ID. It sounds like this life has fallen apart. And then the last item on the list, drink less. Oh, so this is like a new year's resolution yeah but this that

started before secret santa season yeah oh yeah very interesting i lost your list i apologize drink less yeah and if that's your list dave has just read it so you just go back type out the list you got it have you noticed that there's a lot of stores in Vancouver with the word junkies after the subject of what they sell? Sports junkies. Sports junkies. Crystal meth junkies. Sure, yeah. Smack junkies. There's all these junkie stores, like food junkies. Where's food junkies? Not actually. Sex junkies. They're actually reality shows. There's that junkyard. Junkies. Hoarding junkies.

Junk junkies. Hey, G-Money. Yeah, yeah. Do you have an overture to share with the group? From this morning, I was having breakfast at a Pan and Cock house. Really? Yeah. The Dutch?

No, not the Dutch. International House of? No. Don't say it. I'm not going to say it. We're not giving free advertising. No, that's right. Say it.

No, I'm not going to. Say it. There was a table. Say it. It's called the Wooden Shoe. Oh, okay. It's the Dutch Junior. Yeah.

Well, no, it's the guy that owned the Dutch and then sold it. It's called The Wooden Shoe. Oh, okay. It's DeDutch Jr. Yeah. Well, no, it's the guy that owned DeDutch and then sold it. Oh, yeah. He kept the one outpost. You should call it outpost or outback. Outback steakpost. Turn it into a steakhouse. But it was a family, grandparents, and then two tween kids. There was a father, grandfather, two tween girls.

And I didn't hear what kind of came just before this part, but the grandfather was making up something. He was making up some nonsense. He was like, you know, no, they got this thing where it's like a phone booth, and you go in it, and it dissolves your atoms, and then it teleports you straight to disneyland right he was just making up some nonsense wow and i thought that it was gonna be the setup for a joke or something like that and then there was this long pause oh

kind of like i i thought there was gonna be laughter but there was this awkward pause and then one of the girls went, seriously? I thought the tweens would have said, what's a phone booth? That's true. What is, it bothers me a little bit that you use the term tween so cavalierly. Why? Because it's a, what is a tween? It's not, like if I was going to say a teenager, I'm thinking, like, somebody who's, like, 15, 16, 17.

But these were girls that could be anywhere between 12 and 14 or 15. It's hard to tell what with the makeup and the cell phones. Sure, yeah. And your urges. To me, it goes from, like, no, do not add that in the badge. It's part of the parcel of it. Yeah, I don't know.

I know what a little kid looks like, and I know what an adult looks like, and everything else to me is like a blur. I don't know. He's either a tween or a teen. Oh, I guess. Or a young adult. Scholastic would put them in a young adult category it seems like at first in our generation like girls were starting to dress like a little bit too

you know flashy yeah and then now it seems like they dress like cougars oh like just straight up like it's like you go from like eight and innocent to all of a sudden, like, you're over it. You're 16 and done. Yeah, I think, but there's actually statistics about, like, girls going through puberty even younger. But here's the thing, right? Like, if you look at photos in the 80s, right? They're hilarious. That's great.

Everyone's got dumb hair. A teenage girl and an adult woman wouldn't dress the same. But that happens now, where there's adult women and teenagers are dressing in the same. Yeah, so I can never tell. It's basically from age 13 all the way up to your early 30s i'm thoroughly confused as to what age i think it's just the internet in general is doing weird stuff yeah because everyone's witnessing everything and then it's true you know what i mean like everyone dresses like they're from yeah everyone dresses like t like Tay Zonday. Or Keisha.

And everyone's laughing like a baby. Sure. Everyone's dancing like a baby. We have some listeners, some bumpers who wrote in. A lot of really funny ones.

Alright, here's some overheards. This first one is from somebody that spelled their name. This is kind of a Kesher situation. It's an apostrophe E-M-A-S. Okay. Oh, yeah. Apostrophe E-M-A-S. Yeah, totally.

I was in my home and from the, she says the adjourning room. I assume it means adjoining. Yeah, this room is adjourned. I heard my sister, who's six, playing with her teddy bear. While she played, she asked the bear, can I have a million dollars? Then in a gruff,

mafia bear-like voice, she replied, sure. Kids, they do say the darndest things. They literally do. They have the darndest voices for things. This is from Sean R. Can I add to that? Please.

I remember once I sincerely, in ninth grade, asked my friend. I realized they didn't realize how much money, what money meant. Right. And I was like, you know, 14, 15. I was like, wait a second, how much do you think a house costs? And they're like I don't know, like $1,000?

I'm gonna put it at between $800 and $1,000. And that's just stuck with me. This one is a guy at work between Johnny and Pete. I think those are made-up names. But Johnny says, But I think that computers are the wave of the future.

Pete, mumble mumble something. Johnny, I think that in 10 to 15 years, over half of the households will have one computer. Over one. Over one. Over one. A bold prediction. They'll have a hard drive and a piece of RAM

and one. Carly G. Today I was walking to my math class. I heard this notoriously stupid girl say to her friend, I can't hang out tonight. I'm grounded internally.

Ouch. That sounds terrible. Yeah. These are more darnedest things. Yeah. Maybe we should subdiv Yeah. These are more darnedest things. Yeah. Maybe we should subdivide. This is more like things that make me go sad.

Yeah. Did that one make you sad? I'm sorry about that. No, but I'm grounded internally. What was she trying to say? Indefinitely? Indefinitely? Oh, interminably?

Indubitably. Terminally grounded? Yeah. Grounded until death? Yeah, well, that's how it reads. Yeah, I'm chronically grounded. All right, this is from Matt from Powell River. Three 11 to 12-year-old kids.

I'm telling you, this is not on purpose. I didn't... You are getting your urges again. We're sitting in the cafeteria on the ferry from Horseshoe Bay to Langdale? I don't know. Where's Langdale? You don't want to go there. No, probably not.

One kid was talking, the rest were listening. And the kid's saying, he's not uh one kid was caught was talking the rest were listening and the kid's saying he's like the toughest kid at school even the grade sevens are scared of him have you seen him with his shirt off he's ripped the teachers have to let him smoke at school because if they don't he'll lose it real bad i want to meet this kid yeah i don't want to fight this kid. Yeah. I don't want to fight him, though. No, no, no.

I'm scared of him. I'm like the teachers. You just want to invite him in and play Nintendo with you like the wrestler did. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, this isn't an overheard, but it was. What was the name of the character, the wrestler? Will he ever be known as that? Or is it like Taxi Driver?

No one knows the name of the Taxi Driver. No or is it like taxi driver no one knows the name of the taxi driver no he had a name because he was something the randy the ram randy the ram yeah rammstein rammstein um this isn't an overheard his name was rammstein in the film yeah in the look it up stage. It was. Gotcha. Somebody wrote in, I guess we talked about Quentin from Grace Under Fire. We may have. But this person sent in a Flickr page that is evidence that he is now... Quentin was the son on Grace Under Fire. Yeah, he was the young.

Of course. And he is now in a hardcore punk band called No Policy. yeah so he's done okay for himself yeah so that was just for our listeners who are wondering why we just worried about dj connor he's their manager um didn't dj get addicted to math no that was that was Stephanie Tanner. Oh, sorry. Who's DJ Connor? DJ Connor's from Roseanne. The little boy who looked a lot like Quentin. Wasn't there a DJ Tanner? She married

hockey player Valerie Bure. Valerie Bure? And she is now in the show Make It or Break It about gymnastics. Oh, I did not know that. There you go. She was in the lowest grossing DJ's hand.

Gymnastic based film. Yeah. Her brother is Kirk Cameron. I do know that. They're a powerful family. They're like the Baldwins. Who was in the highest grossing Christian movie of all time. Left Behind.

Two. What? Is this freestyle or do you guys actually know this? That's really, yeah. Kirk Cameron, yeah. Oh, wow. Made Christian movies. And didn't...

Have you seen it? Willie Ames do like... He was Bible Man. Willie Ames. Yes. From Eight is Enough and Charles in Charge. Have you seen the... I've seen clips.

Because the thing that in that movie... The rap band clips. When they... When the rapture comes and people vanish, their pants and their shirts and often shoes and socks are all that's left behind. So the big

dramatic reveal is there's all these cars like stopped on the street with like a shirt and then some pants and then shoes on the i thought you're gonna say the big dramatic reveal is where they go to and they're all standing there naked and really embarrassed that was the rapture but the cars are are stationary wouldn't the cars be all crashed because because yeah if you get out of a car on their own yeah if you get out of a car and it's in drive it keeps going yeah unless they're driving manuals in which case they would just jerk forward for like a yeah install and then there'd be a they'd be mentioned on the traffic report yeah which is on the ones or the sevens,

depending on what station you're listening to. Right? Right. This is, I tutor students once a week at a private school since they don't have space for us at the main school. Ba-da-ba-da-ba. This is a yada, yada, yada. When I came in today, though, I usually teach in a classroom that seems to be used for Chinese classes for non-Chinese people.

When I came in today, though, the cryptic message was on the whiteboard. There are editing marks on it, which makes me think this is a part of some classroom activity or brainstorming session. The picture is pretty blurry. This is Daniel from Seattle. But this was the text. Once upon a time, there was a pretty blurry. Sent in a picture. This is Daniel from Seattle. But this was the text. Once upon a time, there was a pretty frog. She lived in a pretty house. Her, in brackets, friend asked her to come over to her house.

They liked to have sleepovers. They played video games and they had pillow fights. Joopie's friends liked to go swimming in blood, which they got from the shark. When the blood dried up, they talked to their vampire friend, Sharktooth, who got more blood to fill the pool. It starts one way and then ends quite surprisingly.

Yeah. I didn't see it. You guys have so many people right in. Yeah, they're mostly weirdos and homelessness. You have homeless people finding internet cafes. Yeah, no're mostly weirdos and homelessness. Homeless people finding internet cafes. Yeah, no, they go to the library. Staying there for the full hour and a half. Yeah, most library computers have iTunes.

And then they sign up for an email address. They plug in their iPod, download a bunch. They're mostly iPod minis, which are actually quite big in retrospect they've got GPS I don't know why how many more Graham you're killing me here am I killing you over there

this is from Peter R overheard I'm in high school there are plenty of great overheards in the halls here's one that I heard the other day as two kids walked by. Tall, gangly, kid to shorty kid. All I'm saying is that movie would be at least three times better if Forrest wasn't retarded. But then he finishes it by going,

Don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure the point of that movie is that he is retarded. I don't know. Was that the point of Forrest? I love that he says at least three times the point? I love that he says, at least three times is good. I like that you can measure it. Well, that's like when I, just when I left the house,

there was some, there was like a hair commercial. Yes, I've seen that too! And it says that it gives you 12 times shinier or something. And I was like, how do you measure? I thought you meant the,

there was the hair transplant thing with the guy who says, you know, 80% of feeling good is looking good. Tests will show. We have some called in overheards. If you want to write us. You can write to us at stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. Or you can call us 206-339-8328. Hey, Stop Podcasting Yourself. This is Phil calling from Michigan, USA.

Long-time listener, first-time caller. I was just shopping at a store we have in Michigan called Meijer, like the big grocery store. Kind of like Super Walmart, but not evil. So yeah, I had to get overheard. I was walking by a lady who was pushing a little girl in her car, and she says, yeah, we lost your mother. Isn't that sad?

You're going to have to live with Grandma now. That's mean. I feel like that may have been her grandma threatening her. You're going to have to live with grandma now. Sometimes I feel like your caller-in overheards are just mean people. Yeah. Should be a different segment called Mean People. Hey, guys. This is Amos calling from Denver, Colorado.

I had an overheard for you. I was working in an office. I don't remember exactly what I was doing there, but I do remember that part of my job was to bring in new hires and show them around. And one of the girls walked in and she was sort of a younger, somewhat ghetto-looking girl. She looks around the office. First thing she says, she looks around the office, and she goes, Lord, I am not drinking the water in this office.

There are far too many pregnant girls here. And I thought that was pretty good. And a fundamental misunderstanding of the pregnancy process. And the water process. The circle of water? When he was saying that I was in control of hires, I just thought of the root beer. Sure.

And I was just wondering if there was ever a hires root beer campaign saying get hired. Or you're hired. Get hired. Michigan Donald Trump. And I also like that he said, I was working at his office. I don't know what I was doing there. I was anything from a receptionist to the, you know, I was a maintenance guy.

I mean, I've had jobs where I didn't know what I was doing, but I don't think that's what he meant. I think he just is pretending he doesn't remember his job. Yeah, I might have been the CEO. Pretending he's not a janitor. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I was taking pictures of girls in the bathroom. I don't know. I was taking pictures of girls in the bathroom. I don't know what

I was doing there. That's the other way you could read it. What was I doing there? Hey guys, this is Justin from Des Moines calling in with an overheard. I used to work at a call center doing tech support for cell phones and I was talking to one of the clients one time and he got a call on his other

phone and part of the conversation went like this and he got a call on his other phone. And part of the conversation went like this. He said, who is this again? I think you have the wrong number. And then after a few seconds of waiting with the other person talking, he said, oh, you're the one with those big nipples. He was talking to Simon Cowell I know he wears tight t-shirts but does he show off big nipples? apparently that was the thing that I was chatting

at work and somebody said Simon Cowell has big nipples and then everybody was like yeah I know and I felt like I didn't know that are you sure that wasn't like some code like the crow cause it midnight Simon meaning he has big nipples he has a prescription for uh 24 7 all you can eat oxycontin oh wait that's paul abdul

he he has a special uh prosthetic over nipples that he put over nipples thanks everyone for calling in it's 206-339-8328 if you'd like to call in again yeah and we have a bit of we got sent in a specially made

and I'll make this the art for the show oh cool yeah it's it was like a kind of like a a specially made... And I'll make this the art for the show. Oh, cool. Yeah, it was like a pixelated video game looking kind of thing. Drawing of us, yes. Yes. From a gentleman named Edgar B. I think it's Edgar. Yeah, Edgar B.

Let's say Ed B. Ed B. Not Ed Begley. EB. Ed B. Jr Ed Bagley. EB. Ed B. Jr. EB Games. And also, something that completely slipped our minds for the last couple podcasts was a listener, a bumper, sent us some beer right around the Christmas time season, and we enjoyed

it very much. Yeah, both beers had the word spy in them. Yeah, there was a spy something and a spy porter. He sent two beers? Two six-packs of beers. Oh, okay. And that was Matt. That was Matt.

Yeah, so thank you very much for that, and our apologies for being so tardy with our thanks. Yes, thanks, Matt. And I just realized that we never said that Steve was one half of the team that wrote our theme song for the Childhood Injuries. That's true. Oh, I forgot my overheard about Paul Anthony, actually. Go ahead.

Why not? Let's play his theme song and then he can do his overheard after it. He was overheard after it. Lips deep in the pavement. I wasn't funny then, but it's funny now. Childhood injuries. There it is. There it is.

Okay. Oh, thanks. That was a great song. That was great. I really like that song. We were at Weird Al, Paul Anthony and I, at the casino, as one does. Weird Al performed at the casino. Yeah. Was he performing

Baccarat? He's performing magic. If any of you haven't seen Weird Al, I know there's a bit of a stigma with... I saw him years ago. It was amazing. It literally... Okay, sorry. It didn't literally

blow my mind, but it... Good catch. But it was... Woo! Yeah. David Cross almost caught me on that one. But it was quite well done. And he, like...

It's one of those shows where there's costume changes. There's... It's, like, pretty rapid fire. He's very funny during it. Yeah. He's a charming man and i think there's a bit of a stigma attached to it because people are embarrassed of the time in their life when they loved weird al right right yeah yeah it's when they first got pubes and the couple years before that it's true i had a mixtape

that was smells like teen spirit or sorry it smells like nirvana nirvana never mind on one side and then smells like nirvana on the other side and because of the nature of tapes i just flipped both back and forth listen if i wanted to listen to in bloom i also listened yeah but the if you want to listen to i can't watch this right have you ever been uh had it had it where like you only know the lyrics to the Weird Al version of a song? No. Have you never had that? No, I'm a connoisseur.

Yeah, that's true. Have you ever had that? I guess not. I'm talking to two people who are of the musician band. Yeah, Steve and I are kind of in the musical elite. We count ourselves among yada yada. Yada yada. What was the overheard

from the Weird Al so Paul Anthony called me really excited about going to see Weird Al and he said I've got an extra ticket which is kind of the thing you do when you want to ask somebody out and you're like oh I have an extra ticket why would you buy two

he's like I got this popcorn why don't you didn't? He's like, I got this popcorn. Why don't you reach in and grab some? Right. And then I reached in, and it's his dick. Mostly balls. Anyway, so we go, and somehow he, like, manipulated the scenario so we would get to meet Weird Al. He's very... Paul Anthony?

Yeah, he's very good at that sort of thing. He's like a social magician. Yeah. He somehow is able to that sort of thing. He's like a social magician. He somehow is able to always meet these people. He is, but to his credit, he has a passion for life. He just loves to just fly through life

just meeting the weird owls of our generation. The weird owls. The Iggy Pops. The Chad Kragers. Yeah, the Bob Sagets. The Iggy Pops. The Chad Kragers. Yeah. The Bob Sagets. The Howie's Mandels. The DJ Tanners.

Yeah. Yeah. He does. He has a zest for life. He does have a zest for life. And I think that's the thing that attracts me to his popcorn. Which is a metaphor for up and coming activities that he plans for us and so we so we sure we have various activities together because we're both busy people and so we'll

we always like to kill two birds with one stone sure so we made that the theme song for childhood injuries nice we did uh we did the talent time theme music. Yeah, which is great. I think actually he met, because I did the Mental Beast thing, I think he probably had a hand in that, that kind of touching me to those people's... Touch you, touch. And you were good. You acted in the Mental Beast thing. Web series.

It was good. I loved it. I also did the theme music, and they told me to make it like Curb Your Enthusiasm and it was fully orchestral all MIDI alright by orchestral I mean all MIDI

sure and IE can be done on a laptop in about 10 minutes but that was a fun project but anyway so he kind of gets me into like all these weird scenarios one of them meeting Weird Al. Nice. And he was just the whole, it's like an hour-long car ride to get there.

He's just talking to me about how he has all these weird childhood relationships that center around Weird Al. Okay. Big influence on him. It was kind of a confessional. It was like a taxi cab confessional, except I was the driver and it wasn't filmed. And no money was

exchanged. And that drunk taxi guy was there. Yeah, he gave you a Cineplex Odeon pass to give your mouth shut. Anyway, so he told me all these things he always wanted to ask Weird Al his whole life. Starting with when he was eight, him and his sister bought an album together

they split their allowance and bought it all these crazy stories about Weird Al that is crazy anyway so I go, I meet him Weird Al first, we have a great conversation it's just totally down to earth

it's nice, it's cool did you say who you are that yeah um did you ask him to spoof you i referenced it i actually i did i referenced or at least put you in one of the montages where he does the uh he does yeah he did a montage of uh modest mouse and franz ferdinand and like all the bands but it's like the polka. And he doesn't change the lyrics, but he just does the polka version. Do you think... You know how a pop star will play a private party... Yeah, a Beyonce for Gaddafi's son.

On a boat. Do you think that Weird Al could be persuaded to... As a vanity project, that he would... I'm sorry. I'm afraid we've derailed this story too many times. I apologize. You know what? It's easy to derail because it's not a great story.

But anyway, so Paul Anthony finally gets to Weird Al and he's just... There's a long line of people and you can tell he's just so excited. And he's like, Hey, so... And Paul being a vegetarian, actually a vegan himself, looks up to the fact that Weird Al is also a vegetarian. He's like, so, are you still a vegetarian?

And Weird Al's like, yep. And that's it. And he's like, the whole car ride home. He was like, I already knew he was a vegetarian. I've known my whole life. I had one question, and I asked him a question that I already knew the answer to. It's like the Chris Farley show. Oh, man.

He's like, that's awesome. And it was so sad. And I think that's what's inspired his pursuit for happiness. Yeah. Do we want to do anything else? Do you want to do anything else? I was supposed to drop the fact that my fiancé, and I don't like using that word because I think it sounds pretty 80s and douchey.

Sure. Call her your fiancé. That's pretty current. I call her my lady. Yeah. And she is also her own person. Sure. Yeah.

But we actually ended up together because of G clark what yeah and the special sauce do you know this story yeah oh i told it to you drunkenly at the biltmore one night yeah um i'll tell it drunkenly now yeah we're down we went to go meet we're yeah um i i know you tell us yeah you don't have to like recount it and prove that you remember no i remember it though basically it was just uh i was i was single um i was ready to mingle um and i i went out to a comedy night by myself uh i think because phil hanley was their previous guest yeah yeah um and uh anyway so i got a call to go down to some nightclub uh my lady was there and uh she was kind of dragged by her friend anyway so we ended up sharing a cab going somewhere and she happened to be in the cab and she mentioned

graham clark and my ears perked like an avatar like creature like one of the people the avatars as they're known in an avatarian way the species the avatars the avatars uh in an avatar like way i just honed in and i was like really uh and i was just impressed that that she knew of uh and I was just impressed that she knew of Graham Clark and that we entered combo we entered conversational intercourse

is that what they call it these days? verbal intercourse? verbal intercourse we banged verbally in the cab I caught that too I caught your voice changing. Thanks for...

You can edit that out. Nope. Anyway, one thing led to another and now we're... Now we're about to engage in intercourse. In marital intercourse. Marital nuptial intercourse.

Nuptial intercourse. Unprotected. No prenup. We want prenup. And it's so if she takes me for everything I'm worth 10 years

from now, I will come to you. I'll rip that piece of trident white out of your mouth and I'll say, you owe me. Over my cold dead body. Out of my cold dead face. I think those two things. You had a record number, I think,

of cab stories on this podcast. Of cab confessionals. I'm trying to make some sort of record so years from now on episode 300 yeah uh which will be a an homage to the movie uh i think you know who had more uh cab references was jay-z he had gypsy cab dolla cab hollaback what about cab calloway all of that that's true yeah um did you guys have jay-z on? I can't remember. Maybe that's an episode I missed. That was a back-to-back. We had Jay-Z one week,

Cab Calloway the next. Jay-Z, I think he said, allow me to reintroduce myself? And he just kept saying, it's your boy. Yeah. Alright, let's wrap this up. Yeah, we want to exit with a

track. But before that if you want to write to us stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com or you can call us 206-339-8328

or you can read about me probably next week in Vanity Fair you're on the cover shirtless lifting weights yeah you didn't know

they'd use that photo when they did the original shoot yeah well because I hadn't gotten cut yet and Steve what is up coming for you and your musical endeavor? We recorded a record. The Hot Hot Heats. The Hot Hot Heats, and

it's coming out in podcast form only. Okay, good. On the show. RSSP. It's one song. Do you have anything that you need to plug? No, I don't need to plug nothing. You don't. You're in Entertainment Weekly, for God's sake. Apparently. I've already said where you can write to us. Go to our website, StopPodcastYourself.com. Check out Dave's KidCasting. It's KidCasting.

Tumblr.com. Is that right? And if you enjoyed the show, tell all your friends. And you can find Steve Bay's... Where is your online location? It's geocities.com slash startpodcastingyourfriends. underscore tilde

html.org slash Dave Shumka's That's weird that I'm in there. Yeah, why are you in there? That's why I manipulated this situation so that I could answer that. Sure, that's great. Real answer? Yeah. Fuck.

We have a website. I don't update it enough. I'm not a web savvy person. You're your own webmaster? I'm a webmaster. i'm a master of web all right all right here's a song yeah thank you very much everybody for listening if you enjoyed the show tell your friends to come on back for another thrilling episode of stop podcasting Nobody knows what's gonna happen now So all nine daughters

Shedding on the cows So leave the twin If you said you'd choose As we wake up in a jail cell Let the people think you're hiding something Better than what you got If she means nothing, nothing you can't believe Chelsea, FK's, LLC We signed a waiver now we're just in Chelsea

One, two, three Can't get enough, can't get enough Can't get enough, can't get enough Can't get enough, can't get enough I can't get enough Can't get enough, can't get enough Can't get enough, can't get enough I cried over just question someone's pride Don't let them fool you, but it means you're bad So you, the giant, you can set your genius

Throw grenades instead of baby showers Let the people think you're hiding something Better than what you got, if she's hiding nothing Come on, you can't blame me, it's just JFK's LLC We signed a waiver, now we're testing Chelsea One, two, three, one, two, three Can't get enough Can't get enough, can't get enough

Can't get enough, can't get enough Can't get enough, can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough We'll be right back. Can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough

Can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough Can't get enough Thank you. Outro Music